#and then when we do it’s crickets
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Someone on TikTok said there’s only like 4 Dolph Laserwork fans among the CL fanbase and it made me throw up so err reblog this if you’re a Dolph enjoyer I’m tryna find my people. (And trying to prove there can’t possibly only be 4)
#I’m kinda mad#because more people like that Racist Red POS#like#HELLO??#he’s a funny villian ngl but to unironically like him is crazy to me sorry#captain laserhawk#the way it’s literally impossible to get the attention you deserve as a protag of colour#and he’s even gay like#“we want more diverse protagonists#‘Make your own characters of colour’#and then when we do it’s crickets#I’m actually calling racism#dolph laserhawk#I love you Dolph I won’t forget you
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my seniors have been so quiet all year and it’s been fine cause we’ve had a lot of writing/research to do but I need them to talk to me now so i was hit by a bolt of inspiration two days ago and I made them all tell me their comfort level with sharing aloud, rating themselves on a scale of 1-10. I then averaged the class score and they’re a 4.5. I then told them yesterday we needed to raise the score the tiniest bit. And the 1’s and 2’s didn’t need to be 10’s just maybe 3’s and 4’s. And they tried! They talked more 😭
#it’s sooooo hard because when a class is quiet my default is to assume you hate me#which is so hard because I need a response. which is why I actually can handle a loud raucous class pretty well because it’s just about#holding their attention and redirecting#but when they’re quiet it’s so hard. but i’ve really forced myself to be like ‘they don’t hate you they’re just quiet’#and they ARE#and actually they are reading (not all of them lol) and a lot of them want to learn#it was really helpful going to try to capitalize on this today#I had a moment a few weeks ago where I taught them a poem and it was crickets and I was like sigh they hate it and me#but then I said wanna learn another one? and like—seven of them nodded at me with big eyes and quiet enthusiasm#and I was like okayyyyy there is something going on#it feels so different teaching them than any other class it’s been a real learning experience for me#also yesterday we were talking about Jane Fairfax and Emma hating her lolololol#and Emma being frustrated with Jane’s reserve and I teased them a little bit#I said you’re not cold but you ARE reserved and I am Emma trying to get you to tell me about Frank Churchill at Weymouth#literally lol#ALSO it hit me like a ton of bricks yesterday that this is the class where I need to tell them WHY I make them tell me all the plot details#and we go over it together#and the actual concrete purpose of it. cause it isn’t just book-clubbing it!#it has to do with guiding them through a novel but also teaching them how to do it themselves#I get so prickly when people think it’s just book club behavior#if I was in a book club i would be a tyrant which is why I belong in a classroom#ANYWAY I AM WASTING THE DAY AWAY#but i have woken up with great excitement because I’ve been mulling on the seniors all year#and I feel like I’m getting somewhere#teaching tag
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Scrolling through OC ask memes is very funny sometimes because a good handful of them have questions that... we don't think apply terribly well.
Yeah, they're a bug, tattoos are a bit complicated. They can't swim because they're an insect. Their ancestry is Cricket and their blood type is green. They don't know what a car is.
#we speak#its extra funny when a significant number of questions are dedicated to dating. your guess is as good as ours we arent keeping track#bau could be dating half the explorers association for all we know#we Have Not kept track#we're looking at a romance and relationships meme right now and its like. we do not think of these things for our ocs 99% of the time#we dont think they would know what monogamy is#we also don't know how to quantify gender in a species that only has One gender (dune cricket)#we are out of the norm but ALSO we swear this is like “youre trans if you identify as a different gender than you were assigned at birth”#like my man. we realize we're out of the norm but we CANNOT give you a solid answer to that question. nothing is binary enough for that#we cant define what sexuality this character would be in human terms we can't even define if a pairing with them is gay or not
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🌠
#a moment i need to capture while it's still fresh#stargazing alone in the chill and damp of an august night#the crickets singing all around#northern lights filling the sky like nothing i've ever seen#the red colors even visible to the naked eye#pictures show the entire sky alight with red and green and blue#but they can't capture the delicate blue-white formations that i see with the naked eye#or the pulsing weaving swirling motion of the lights above#the high point of the night is looking straight up into the night sky#not north or south or east or west just up which is out toward space#not a direction tied to our world but out to god#and there were these constant swirling waves of light all pulsing toward the very center of the sky#and then a shooting star#the brightest and clearest of the night#streaks upward across the right-hand side#and after an evening of wanting to feel closer to god than i do when surrounded by his heavenly marvels#the prayer that comes to mind is 'glory'#glory to the father and to the son and to the holy spirit who created all this and let me see it#and there is no one to share it with#no way to capture what i'm seeing#no way to share this moment with anyone else#there is no one i'll be able to turn to and say#remember when we saw that shooting star in the middle of the northern lights?#this moment can't be captured or repeated it simply exists in this moment right now#it's beautiful and sad#and also a gift#i meant to stay out for maybe fifteen minutes#i was out there an hour and wish i didn't have to leave#and there was no way to share it but i had to try to share it with someone before i lost the moment
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steeples my evil little fingers. guess what im still thinking about. anyway i think mark spends several actual days in the Tube and the trickster keeps trying to keep him bugs and he’s starving and getting more and more pissed off. hangry even. but the only food the trickster gives him (every day on schedule dinner bell and everything. probably on schedule. its not like mark has a clock) is a fucking pile of meal worms. mark kills them, because he’s learned the hard way that constant wriggling unsettles him more than the lonely stillness, and ag LEAST it gives him soemthing to do. but he refuses to eat them. are you fucking crazy he’s not going to eat bugs. So he snaps one day when the trickster appears with that fucking bell and snarls something angry anout being starved and those are bugs. thats lizard food. Humans eat meat and he’s a human. The trickster freezes, smile still in place, and slowly tilts its head. “Meat?” it echoes, and mark realizes his mistake but he is so fucking hungry that he doesnt understand the potential ramifications yet. The trickster turns around and walks away without dumping the meal worms and mark figures he fucked up and wont get “fed” today. He doesnt want to eat those fucking worms. he wont. except he needs to live to safe ashe, so he’ll do what he fucking has to.
the trickster rings the dinner bell an hour later. his hands are full of meat. Raw. ground, but by a machine—like its been shredded by claws. There is no skin, no fur, no feathers. Nothing he can use to identify where this came from. The trickster cheers, “Dinner!” and the meat disappears from his hands and reappears on the ground on mark’s side of the glass. mark snarls again, scared but reacting to the fear eith anger, “no! I meant- cooked food! Beef or chicken or fish! *cooked!* or— fuck the meat, what about vegetables? tomatoes??” and he has to be specific here because his stomach is roiling with hunger snd an active imagination and the blood on the trickster’s hands reminds him of his wife’s heart in ashe’s.
the trickster leaves. mark doesnt touch anything. he’s so fucking hungry. he’s so angry.
when the trickster comes by the next day (more meat in its bare hands, still bleeding) he tries again. it tilts his head, stares at him, and smiles wider. “Say please.”
this is before, i think, a lot of the really horrific nightmares and shit. no time loop deaths. biggest horror is the trickster’s existence. mark is still angry and prideful and he wont eat the bugs because he wont play along with whatever sick game the trickster is playing. refuses to act the lizard. refuses to be a pet. stays silent, grinding his teeth (later he has to check that they arent cracked), and doenst say please.
the trickster laughs. Rings the bell. gives him the bloody meat. leaves.
and mark is fucking angry and he is so fucking hungry and he has to live for ashe. he’s getting weaker by the day. the trickster is gone for hours and he knows itll be gone for at least two dozen more. its disappeared for a full day at least once so maybe even longer.
…hes so hungry. its not bugs. he doesnt know what it is but it isnt bugs. he can even make it a person meal, kind of, when he grabs the raw meat in his bare hands and electrocutes it to cook it. horrible fucking idea btw because then its charred in most areas and undercooked in others but its something his brain will let him recognize as food.
he eats.
#i think the trickster mixes it up too#mark has a fuckin Moment when he gets something that is recognizably chicken#but most of the time he cant actually tell#and for YEARS afterwards it fucking. Lingers. The question#was any of that human meat?#and the answer is yes btw#he doesnt get to know that but we sure do :3#cannibalism tw#ive gotta go back later and figure out an actual tag for these posts so i dont lose em#and so squamish people can block em#his life would be so much better if he’d enjoyed a few cricket cookies tho#he would have at least one whole less horror#bug jar au
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the deeply dispiriting feeling of being told that a handful of friendly strangers in a shared community would like to be part of a group you've proposed, only to hear from none of them and still be the only person in the discord you created when invites are about to expire almost a week later, leaving you paranoid and wondering whether you set it up wrong or just haven't received any kind of acknowledgement because they saw the work you put in setting it up and all realized you are way too much
#the odds that all of these people decided instead to form their own group and not tell me? highly unlikely#but with no other explanation...yeah#(i was trying to create a reading club for other people similar to my adhdness who want company/encouragement#in doing more reading like we did when we were younger#and setting up my very first discord server was kind of daunting but i did it with channels and intro posts and all#...and it's just been crickets#but because the people interested are on a substack i love rather than people i've spoken to before#i can't just ask why everyone's ignoring me#(lol)#cuz my total lack of patience isn't their problem#but having figured out a way to help myself read more by making it social#--just like how i've learned that making other things like writing social helps me stay on task--#only to have no one to be social with...definitely has me a little sad)#randomness#adhd
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THE TEST S01E08 - A NEW LEGACY
#happy season 3 of the test eve!#shame we wont get a scene like this again this season i kinda like when they are friends :/#do you think we'll find out what happened between lyon and root.....#nathan lyon#joe root#peter siddle#matthew wade#jofra archer#ben stokes#steve smith#everyone else is pretty much auxiliary reckon#im not tagging them ALL thats for sure#my gifs#the test#cricket australia#england cricket
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not to beat a dead horse bc I know I've said this a thousand times already but totk sucked. there was nothing to work with after it ended. by this time in botw content circles it was ramping UP. it went for YEARS with elaborate theories and videos and an entire secondary canon built by theorists and fans. when was the last time you saw someone talk about totk? how much positive discussion have you seen about the story, ever? theories, world building, etc? anything at all?
#i follow a ton of zeldatubers bc i was really into the botw content when it was happening#and after totk dropped it went from weekly if not daily uploads to. crickets.#and occasionally zeltik or monster maze put out a video but even then its with none of the passion or creativity they had before#and its bc totk was just. BAD. it was so literally botw 2.#bad dungeons a thousand shrines a story told theough small peeks#except unlike botw there was no emotional hook with the characters. nothing personal. we dont know ANYTHING abt the sages#their two biggest hooks were the zonai (who they entirely changed from what people found interesting in botw-#-then did nothing to elaborate on. at all. no history no world building no character arcs at all)#and the sky islands (which were rare. copy and pasted. scattered small identical puzzles)#like what did you even do? you took away all moral greyness all character development all personal investment#and you gave us all the same flaws and THEN some while saying you were listening to what the fans had to say#what was the point even. the only good part of totk was tulin.
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#also like super personal but back in september this man tried to rape me and like nothing's been done about it so like woohoo yay great#and there's another fucked up instance but all i got was like. lawyers and helplines telling me they could do nothing to help me#been contacting people worldwide for help and interventions and it's been crickets or resounding no we can't do anything#so much for listening to victims i fucking guess. and if i come out and say it i'd be told it's my fault for even being around that person..#like. kind of a big reason why i haven't been really gay anymore because it just. all of this left a bad taste in my mouth#not just that but pretty much all of the gay men in my life#and the terrible pain i had to go through when i came out to my parents#like none of this is worth it and suddenly it feels like 10 yesrs of culminating efforts for some form of freedom#now amount to nothing#anyways#oops#too heavy though#sa tw
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ive been at work 4 hours and have only had 9 customers this is crazy
#im open for another hour but its always dead this time of night anyways#i also worked both days this weekend and had 15-20 people per day which is at least something#i work at a p*st o*fice counter inside of a store and the postal workers are on strike rn (im employed by the store so i still have to work)#we can still sell products do money services and accept prepaid returns tho but you just can mail anything 🤷🏻♀️#and ig most ppl think we're fully closed#this is comical actually before the strike started it was already starting to get busier for the holidays and now literal crickets#even funnier are the customers that come in w things to mail but get confused when there's actually someone working bc of the strike#like if u thought no one was here why did u come here w a package then????
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I can promise you that the last thing any artist you’re impressed with would like to hear about is the stick figures you can barely draw
#for real though i always think like. surely. we’ve worn this one out culturally right?#and every time i’m wrong#cricket chat#like for once just ask us questions about how we do stuff and what our process is like#why do we use those colors? what is this painted with? what were you thinking when you made it?#like ANYTHING other than ‘i can barely draw a stick figure!’#i have spent so much of my time reassuring people who give me that line that yes you can draw#anyone can draw#just pick up the fucking pencil instead of complaining to every artist you meet#it’s so tiring
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Jaya time
I love these moments of nearly cosmic horror when they encounter inexplicable things (at first) they are so intriguing
Is strawhat here?! *Megan thee stallion saying AAH 😜*
This cover just goes hard... Get it chopper
#usopp and luffy wanting to go to skypiea and nami only gets it going when luffy says she won't do it cause she can't... now it's personal#robin getting nami an eternal pose..... yeah exactly#luffy eating takoyaki immediately after he finds an octopus... sanjis speed is no joke#THE FUCKING GUY SHOOTING THE SEAGULL IS THE ONE IN BLACKBEARDS CREW!!!! DAMN#dying swiftly or not is result of your actions??? i guess man whatever#FUCKING BURGESS TOO!!! and the fucking transing your gender virus maker.... here luffy doesnt explode!!!#teach and luffy having complete opposite opinions on everything.... having bad vibes immediately.... incredible its like luffy knew#luffy doesnt fight bellamy bc he isnt worth the fight sinply bc they have different ideals... yeah.. also emerald city when#the pirates that do it for the money and the pirates that do it for their dreams... which is weird bc luffys foil (?) is blackbeard#also a d also a pirate with dreams (the same one even?) but they go about it in two different ways still.... compelling#why dies luffy think about shanks and ace when he hears teach outside the bar i an going insane... why does luffy just stare at him#WHAT ARE YOU THINKING LUFFY!! DOES HE SEE HIM AND SEE COMPETITION??? THATS WHY SHANKS AND ACE TELLING HIM TO BE A GOOD PIRATE??#how do they know about the them. why do they not tell anyone. to this day they havent said A WORD#noland was also from 400 years ago.... we got joyboy noland and toki#also are the next cover stories about ace.... please......... i need to see him#el señor de la noche moment (luffy fighting bellamy) draws near... i am so excited#i love ace being a hobo and just jumping on whatever boat he can find to eat and sleep and nobody refuses bc he's with whitebeard ajdjajkqw#ALSO I MISSED YOU KING!!!! COME BACK TO MEEEE#gorusei kuma and doffy first appearance omg... hello everyone#'if we let redhair act more than its sufficient it could be problematic' does this mean they can control him? shanks sus evidence n.1#'redhair is not one to change the world on his own' is he waiting for luffy??? is that it?? is shanks rogers successor to aid joyboy???#he told something to shanks before dying about laughtale and left that work for him so thats why he went after the one piece right after#joyboy manifested in luffy. thats why he refused so outright to buggy when he proposed to sail together to find it... maybe shanks not evil#lafitte was a cop and is the one to propose blackbeard as shichibukai? for some reason even if he hasnt done anything yet ✍️#whitebeard appearance... loving this in between arc issues even if they are not in between arcs... in between islands arc i guess#see??? why does benn beckman care about what the gov thinks... why would they give af and why would they even think about it#fucking blackbeard was after luffy..... but he 'settled' for ace i am going to be sick#blackbeard should have died when the knock up stream destroyed his ship what happened there....#also i didnt notice cricket smoking so much and trembling akdhsksjk he is hoping he didnt send luffy to die#reading one piece
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The way some of y'all are talking about Yuki's radio messages is making the bs Helmet Marko and DC have spouted about Yuki's radio messages in the past look tame...
#f1#formula 1#formula one#mexican grand prix#mexican gp 2023#yuki tsunoda#“that's not how an f1 driver should talk'#crickets when other drivers do the same or worse#why is yuki always held to a different standard#well we know why unfortunately
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Really could have done with Ben making it to lunch…
Really REALLY could have done with Jamie making it
#ohhhh boys I know well declare at tea#but we gotta get there#and I’d prefer a 400+ lead when we do#new ball coming after lunch as well#basically into the tail#eek I’m not feeling great here#after such a good morning as well#cricfam#cricket#england cricket#cricketfandom#cricketslash#cricket fandom#ben stokes#Jamie smith
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The fact that I’ve found someone to sublease over a week ago and contacted the landlords OVER A WEEK AGO about needing the application forms and they still haven’t given them to us… please they want to move in on June 1st and I also want that so I don’t have to pay rent by myself I hate landlords I hate them so much
#I emailed them asking for the forms since we ALL have to fill them out#and it took them THREE DAYS to answer with ‘oh just give us the subleaser’s info we’ll email it to her :)’#and I was like um. okay. don’t know why you won’t just send them to me but whatever#so I reply with their info#and they STILL have not contacted her and it’s been nearly a full week since that#I’m going to fucking scream#you have to send us one damn email#I already TALKED to them about this in person and they were like ‘oh yeah once you have a subleaser just tell us and we’ll email the forms’#BITCH THEN WHY ARENT YOU#and they’re fucking office hours are 10-5. I work 10-6:30….#and I’ve been having weekends off recently so I don’t have a day off to go talk to them about this again#AAAGGGHHHHH#I guess I’m gonna try calling them on one of my breaks today and just hope it goes quickly cuz idk what else to do#like bro your job is to sit on your ass and collect other people’s money#I know y’all are not so swamped you can’t answer a simple fucking email#I fucking hate landlords#this is so stressful#and I feel bad for the other person because like! this is not a good sign for somewhere you’re trying to move 😭😭😭😭#esp cuz I was like ‘oh they’re usually good at responding quickly’#because they HAVE been but fuck me I guess when it ACTUALLY matters its fucking crickets#kaz rambles
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ADHD Brain Moods™ (Derogatory Edition)
well, i got uuuuh four (4) sentences written of my ~Revisions~ today (i’m straight up not having a good time over here), but i DID jot down some classifications of the ADHD Brain Moods™ (Derogatory Edition), so have those instead internet:
>> “My brain is full of static” -- There’s nothing going on in there but ineffective Noise and it’s hell; I’m halfway to dissociated and everything is stupid and I Don’t Want To Be Here.
>> “My brain is full of spiders” -- Altogether too many legs; jerky, predatory, and agitated; itchy but can’t find the right spot to scratch for relief, Generally Irritated and Irritable
>> “My brain is full of crickets” -- Superficially seems quieter and level in there, but out of the blue we’ll SPRING to something totally unrelated and unexpected and we won’t get our scheduled shit done (or: Impulsive As Fuck)
#text#personal#whine whine whine#adhd#brain moods#anyway writing did Not Go Well but at least i have this stupid list that i can keep adding to when my brain is being Uncooperative#(and yes i know it's impending period time and i KNOW that makes it much worse but like. can we quit. i have shit to do and 48 weekend hour#and that's it. just. 48 hours. which is bullshit)#today started as crickets and then we slid into static for a while and now we're at spiders#but the order i recognized the Brain Moods is the one presented above#soooo i guess i'm gonna go knit to get a dopamine hit from finishing a square maybe#or just. read. also an option#i SHOULD do laundry. i absolutely don't want to do laundry.#in btw#driscoll#revising#writing
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