#and then up to now
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when i say im an insomniac, i dont mean i fall asleep at 2am and feel a bit run down the next day. when i say im an insomniac, i mean once when unmedicated, i didnt sleep for three days, hallucinated, and was hospitalised, and when i am medicated, it takes 10mg of melatonin before my body decides it might fall asleep before 7am, so i hope yous can understand my frustration that "i overslept" isnt an acceptable excuse.
#charlie.txt#my entire life has just been a massive cesspit of sleep deprivation#i feel like insomnia is seen as this kind of normalised thing that everyone deals with#and whilst its like#im not trying to say people with regular insomnia dont struggle or have it bad#i have never met anyone in my entire life who has such trouble sleeping as i do#ive been like this since i was a baby#an actual baby who couldnt even hold his own head up#right through my entire childhood#teen years#and then up to now#theres never been a single period in my life where ive known what its like to sleep well#im constantly running on near empty and yet society expects me to give up more than i have for it#and its like. im not trying to be condescending here. but my issues with sleeping have made me suicidal in the past.#ive just wanted to end it all so i can get a moments fucking rest#and it feels diminishing when someone tells me they stayed up til 3am last night so they get where my frustrations lie
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Hey. Your brain needs to de-frag. Literally it needs you to sit there and space out.
If you want your memory or executive function to improve, stare out a window at the skyline or sidewalk or trees or birds on the electrical wires for like 20+ minutes per day. (With no other stimulation like a podcast or TV if you can manage but hey baby steps innit). If you're fortunate enough to have safe outside with any bits of nature, go stare closely at a 1 meter square of grass and trip out on the bugs and shapes of grasses and stuff.
Literally this will make you smarter. Our brains HAVE TO HAVE this zone out time to do important stuff behind the scenes. This does not happen during sleep, it's something else.
That weird pressurized feeling you get sometimes might be your brain on no defrag.
Give your brain a Daily Dose Of De-Frag.
#brains#executive function#memory#adhd#mental health#neurodivergent#thanks @the-sacred-now for bringing this up in science shapes the other day#neurology#defrag#daily dose of defrag#now more than ever#stay strong#curate resilience
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i'm so glad goncharov happened when it did, right before prolific public use of AI. that was pure honest gaslighting straight from the heart. real human whimsicality and trickery thru blood sweat and tears. we were a family. and we all gonched, together. you cant replicate that with any machine.
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cis people will say “I found out I’m having a baby girl at my anatomy scan and I’m experiencing gender disappointment” but be mad when you say “who knows? maybe you’ll end up with a son anyway”
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pls rb if you think cuddling doesn't have to be s3xual
im tryna prove a point to my bf's mother help me out
#like im asexual its def not gonna be like that for me#but she still thinks it is soo#but like. cuddling can totally be platonic there doesnt gotta be such a fuss abt it 😭#i get her pov but c'mon#asexual#aromantic#<- for reach#edit: ...its censored because i want to btw#like. ik im in the horniest social media but i wanna censor it so i do#ik i wont get shadowbanned like in tiktok lmao#im not even in tiktok......😭#so yup i censored it for my own comfort 💯 hope this answered your questions pls shut up now lmaooo
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girl why the hell WEREN'T you at the devil's sacrament 👀 that's three sacraments in a row you've missed 👀 👀 👀
#girl i thought we were doing group costumes#do u have any idea what an ass i looked showing up as just the BOTTOM HALF of our lord baphomet???#not even a full ass just a half ass with cloven hooves#that was me. last nite. at the devil's sacrament. like u even care#you abandoned me in my time of need you peccant malodorous HUSSY#just fyi the bake sale committee is pissed af atchu right now
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kosovo miku
#hatsune miku#vocaloid#for once i finally have the time for a miku challenge/trend !!#i saw no one draw it yet so lets go#kosovo#albania#please don't repost#my art#artists on tumblr#i really wish i could eat fli right now#look up for “Flija Tradicionale” it's delicious#it's built like a sun
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Minecraft movie trailer dropped this thing looks awful my skin itches just looking at these things
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It's honestly crazy that discussion around testosterone HRT skews so much towards the beginning stages of it (to the point that you have dozens of guys thinking their transition is "failed" if they don't pass by like a year in lol) and what the initial changes of the first couple of months to years look like, like the classic laundry list of those early basic changes like bottom growth, voice drop, etc, when IMO literally none of that compares remotely to the depth and intensity of the long term total masculinization you start to experience like 3-5+ years in.
#also has made it increasingly difficult to relate to those early into their transition honestly#like not in a bitter way it’s just like hard to express how diff the experience is#of being like a year on T vs 5 😭#ETA I muted this post ages ago now but fwiw seeing transphobes pop up in the notes on occasion just to say cruel reactionary shit#you are clowns I cannot imagine seeing a post that is ONLY about discussing with folks about the reality of a medication#and choosing to make that your moment to get a schoolyard bully jab in about how you find it gross or something.#you are less well adjusted than most children. may the universe be kinder to you than you are to others.
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Did you know it’s legal in the USA for mattress companies to put fiberglass in their mattresses? They don’t even have to label them! So if you wanna commission me so I can buy a new bed I won’t stop you
#deadass might never get top surgery at this rate#I feel so defeated#I just got done decorating my room and now I gotta gut it :(#I know my comics are goofy but like I’m genuinely really sad#like I just wanna give up WHY TF WOULD THEY PUT FIBERGLASS IN MATTRESES
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Full of Desires
#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi fanart#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#dungeon meshi spoilers#its really just cause of the outfit#farcille#marcille donato#im still surprised this came out of my hands tbh#im not normal about her#curse you dunmeshi for making me fall for the white girl#but god#she looked so good in that fit#i dont understand whyvthe other characters shat on it smh#falin wouldve loved it tho#this drawing is for the gays and theys btw#for the sapphics#lets go lesbians#ok ill shut up now#my art
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Y’all want Taylor Swift to be gay so bad but you won’t even write femslash about her
#I was curious so I looked it up 1038 fics on ao3 tagged Taylor Swift and f/f#like I’m not necessarily encouraging people to go out and write rpf#but it’s wild that arguably the biggest musical artist right now who has a huge community speculating about her sexuality has so little fic#like this isn’t a good or bad thing I just think it’s interesting#idk I’m not actually a swiftie like that#like I listen to her music and keep up generally with what she’s doing but I’m not really in the fandom#so there might be something I’m missing
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I miss the era of the internet where everyone had an evil alter ego/character that would show up on their channel, just to be silly, that eventually got a lot of lore from the fandom for no reason. It was a simpler time.
#it was NOT cringe it was FUN and SILLY#like off the top of my head#markiplier#darkiplier#wilford warfstache#jacksepticeye#antisepticeye#stampylongnose#hit the target#(not an alter ego but still fills the role. I was obsessed with spotting him in lovely world as a child)#uuuh I remember a bunch of the old mlp youtubers I watched as a child did this but I DON'T want to see what they're up to now lmao#does like. early sandersides count for this?#back when anxiety/virgil was a meanie?#xisuma#evil xisuma#evil x#i can't forget him for sure. I may not watch xisuma but i know of evil x#I know there were definitely more and i would love to see what people tag#but it was so fun!#they had fun with it!!#I'm just feeling nostalgic#welsknight#helsknight#ill add ones as people tag em lol
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The Tiger (from the poem by Nael, age 6)🐅
#knitting#knitblr#wip#pattern is The Tiger on ravelry🐯#alright alright. i’ve knit whales. lions. fish. frogs. and now tigers! it’s a whole menagerie in here.#anyways. this one had to be knit because when i was knitting the aforementioned lion. i was also compelled by tiger art so i made myself#a promise to follow up on one day and here that day is.#nael age 6 it’s been a pleasure knitting your prose🫡
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mimics
#chilchuck#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#dunmeshi#my art#i thought ab coloring it but idk if im up 4 the challenge AHAHA#AND TREASURE BUGSSS#iactually really love the .idk what u would call it. in universe ecology HELPP idk laios facts ab#the bugs laying eggs in the mimics.devouring that thing..and now u have treasure bug chests <3 SOO COOL#and doesnt chilchuck think they r cute or smt :sob:
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