#and then the whole mask thing marc has and how he puts it on to keep himself and others safe. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dis-aster9255 · 2 months ago

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Hi hi hello this is gonna be both a mix of like actual character analysis and a few headcanons cause these characters haven't left my head for two months.

But yeah I'm gonna be applying the idea that Steven, Marc, and Jake are all autistic and it's not just Steven. (based on what I know and my own experiences) :D

(Warning: it's long.)

Steven:

Okay so Steven is the one with the most visible evidence because i believe he's the only one who doesn't try to mask

He either does not care what people think of him or straight up doesn't notice that he's acting differently than "normal"

When he's confused he'll just straight up ask like with Dylan ("are you asking me out??")

The hyperfixation/special interest in ancient egypt. He's learning ancient egyptian and hieroglyphics he's SERIOUS

He works at a museum specifically because of that as well

Taking literally any chance he can to talk about it even if the people he's talking to clearly don't care (ex. Donna)

He got so excited when Layla knew what he was talking about like come on

Also ROUTINE

Every evening he adds the tape on his door, replaces the sand, and puts the ankle restraint on before going to sleep

Ik that's supposed to be because of Marc but it's a routine and it's clearly always done the same every night.

Calls his mother every day even if she doesn't answer (we know why but :( )

Also the necklace. It's barely visible but it is there every day

The way he stands:

Need i say more? I don't but I will

Seriously though I'm pretty sure whenever he's fronting he's like never standing still

Either like this or messing with whatever is in his hands

The rubix cube. He can finish that thing without looking at this point its not a puzzle it's a fidget object.

Now for some not fun things

He gets overwhelmed at least twice in the show

Once after he finds out everything with his mom and once with Layla

The one with Layla I understand completely, stressful situation along with two people yelling at you is the worst thing and I know the exact feeling.

Either way both times he was constantly repeating the same word over and over again while basically folding in on himself to avoid whatever was happening around him.

On a lighter note Steven expresses his genuine excitement openly

He was dead but he was still so happy he finally was able to meet someone who knows what he's talking about in ep 5

Idk how to transiton to Marc but HERE WE GO

Marc:

Okay so while I was doing this I realized I related to Marc a lot damn

Anyways Marc masks the majority of the time

Like all the time I don't think he ever hasn't even around Layla

His voice is so monotone and the way he expresses the changes in emotion is by getting either louder or quieter instead of anything else

That entire scene with Mogart and the sarcophagus. There is not way he wasn't forcing every aspect of that interaction

Holding out his hand until Mogart finally shook it because "this is how normal interactions start right???"

When he's asked why he wants to see the sarcophagus he has no idea how to respond and gives the most non-answer ever. Everyone thinks it's weird but he doesn't notice, it worked so whatever

Episode 5

We all know Marc hides his emotions

It's obvious

But what if he's hiding them because they're too much for him to handle, or he just straight up doesn't understand them

He runs from problems cause he doesn't want to confront his feelings

He ran from Layla because the issue with Khonshu was too much to deal with instead of having one conversation about it

He ran from his mother's shiva cause it was too many conflicting emotions

And when Steven was reliving the worst memory of his life he ran again (idk if it's like actually canon or not but I believe that while Steven was going through the memory he could hear the whole thing echoing through the hallways)

He also seems like the type to not show emotion on his face unless it's a strong one, but that's just what I think I've not no actual evidence for this

Anyways like with Steven he also gets overwhelmed a few times in the series

And he does what not many people are willing to talk about and gets aggressive when that happens yayyyyy /lhj

Seriously though in the scene in ep 5 when he doesn't want to confront his mother's abuse again

Yelling and hitting himself repeatedly same man same

In ep 2 when Steven is yelling at him through the mirror he breaks it so he can get some silence and then gets tormented by Khonshu which rude, asshole

Aggression can seem like the easiest way to deal with things so I get it, it happened quite a few times in this show

ON A LIGHTER NOTE

He also gets hyperfixations he just doesn't exactly have the time to indulge himself

The movie

Idk how much we should trust therapist Harrow in certain things but he made a note to mention that Marc has watched that movie a LOT

He loved that movie as a kid

He doesn't have much of a routine besides putting everything back the way it was before Steven can wake up but I think he deserves one

Jake:

This is gonna be short he had four minutes of screen time and two of those minutes have not actually been confirmed

But yeah he seems like he'd also not care about masking

Though I think if he gets too overwhelmed (which would probably take a lot for it to happen) he'd just end up retreating

Or if it's just someone being annoying he'd deal with them himself (maybe just a good punch in the face no big deal right guys /hj)

Kinda a mix of what both Steven and Marc do it just depends on the situation

Also this is just a thought but I think he'd be the type to be constantly forcing expressions cause he does not have the energy to explain himself verbally

Like yeah he expresses things visually but he over exaggerates them to get the point across if that makes sense

Anyways that's all I have

Kinda went on a rant but I hope it makes sense

I'd be happy to hear anybody else's opinions as well :)

#I went on such a rant omg.#started it like an hour and a half ago as well DAMN #mcu moon knight #moon knight #moon knight fanart #jake lockley #mr knight #layla el faouly #marc spector #steven grant #moon knight mcu #autism things #dis-aster rambles

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tiptapricot · 2 years ago

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well now i does is have to know your transfem marc thoughts

TWO OF YOU! Ok. Ok I will talk ab it.

SO. Transfem Marc is this headcanon I’ve had for a while that I have a hard time explaining. He just has the vibes for it? Something about leaning into masculinity so hard it feels like it circles back to not being a dude, along with some other stuff.

(Talk of sys’s trauma, Marc’s bad coping, and some talk of sex and kink at end but not super explicit or in depth so you can skip if needed)

To start, Marc is a gruff man, he’s a guy who represses his emotions and his mental health issues and his trauma. He’s autistic and masks heavily, scared of emotional intimacy and the ways that being different can make you a target. He wears simple bland clothes that are predictable and reliable and don’t stand out. He went to the military, then into mercenary work, then into the service of a god. He has spent so much of his life fitting into boxes and predetermined expectations for how he should be, burying his feelings under violence and anger and emotional repression.

And there’s just a vibe there.

That’s sort of where it started for me, along with occasionally thinking of gender headcanons for the sys members (which is a whole other post). Marc had this flavor to him I couldn’t really name? He wasn’t a cis man, even though he appeared like one, and while I love transmasc MK sys headcanons and do have that as a side pocket headcanon, there was also just… woman vibes?? Truly idk.

Then I started fleshing out my expanded system roster and worked out my version of Inner Child from the Ultimate Marvel universe, and like… that is a little girl inside them. A kid to hold their innocence and place in childhood, the idealized self away from what they experienced. And she’s a girl.

I just kept reflecting on that, on what that piece of them meant. Women are socially and stereotypically seen as more innocent than men, as kinder, softer, so maybe it’s that, maybe just their brain finding a child they couldn’t be to maintain what they didn’t have. A separation for projection. A little girl who got through things instead of a little boy. But that… again there’s just this feeling to me of more.

Cause also like… Marc could never be that. He didn’t get the chance to be that. He was beaten into the shape of a little boy who was wrong. Was the one who had the name of their body, the weight of being the person everyone thought they were. And he had to keep doing that far into their adulthood. Be the Man, the Soldier, the Husband. There’s a safety in masculinity, one he can keep hold of, a script he’s always known and doesn’t have to think about with everything else going on. Being a man makes it easier, or at least feels like it does, but it’s a performance, a role he’s taken on for protection.

Boxes and boundaries and forcing yourself into a role that does not fully encapsulate you is an experience that connects with so many people, so many lives and states of self, but I just couldn’t shake trans vibes. And then it’s like. Where do you go from there?

Because if that is the case for Marc and we look at him through that lens, then… man.

It would be something that grows. Deep down there’s this niggling feeling he can’t place, and doesn’t want to because it means too much, opens too many avenues.

How can he recognize that facet of himself, that he may not be fully A Man, when thats just something else to make him different, something else to make him incorrect, something else to come to terms with when he doesn’t have the time.

How can he recognize that facet of himself when that’s one of the last lines of separation between him and Wendy.

He doesn’t want to feel closer to her, doesn’t want to feel more like her than he “already is.”

He sees his bad habits, his own stubbornness and anger and brashness, how he hurts those close to him, how he drinks when he’s angry and grieving and can’t put the bottle down. He’s too close. And so manhood is a way to distance himself, to not feel like a piece of her is lodged in him, is inescapable, that he is becoming the woman who hurt him.

But being a woman, sometimes, in some ways…Maybe that’s just him. And restricting that, holding it back, is the real thing that would echo Wendy’s hurt. Embracing the woman Marc has made himself ignore and finding his arms around himself and knowing he doesn’t have to be scared of her… it’s healing.

Part of it may be how he formed, that need for separation, that maybe a daughter would’ve been treated better than a son, or maybe it was always something in that young child, a space that didn’t fit that he held on to. He can’t know for sure, but it doesn’t really matter. I think he’d try to rationalize it some, think about it in regards to why he exists and how he was shaped, but in the end… he exists how he does either way, feels what he does either way, wants what he does either way. That won’t change.

(Mild sex/kink talk, skip to asterisks if needed)

Though not how I always imagine it playing out (I have a lot of various headcanon timelines in my head that are not always existing at once) I think one of the ways this discovery could get pushed forward could be via crossdressing play with Layla. They go into it in an attempt to test out how letting go of hypermasculine roles may help Marc let go of control, let go of tension and expectation, and it just… hits. It broils something up in Marc’s gut that is warm and confusing and overwhelming. Layla calls him a good girl, calls him pretty, loves him in that way, and for a moment he realizes how much he wants that, how it floods him with a relief of not having to hold onto a singular role anymore. And it just… forces those questions into the forefront, makes him think about them, grapple with them, try and explore them.

********

I don’t see Marc as a trans woman. I kind of place him in this bi-gender/gender fluid kind of space. Sometimes he’s a man, but sometimes he’s a woman too. Not a super feminine one. He still uses Marc and doesn’t get deep into heavy makeup or wigs or dresses, but maybe some lipstick or eyeliner, some looser hair now and then, a change in pronouns. He’s a woman because he is, and not when he’s not. Maybe has bracelets to signal how he feels since he’s not great at communicating wants and boundaries in words.

Maybe it goes further over time, but he also seems like the type of person, an older, complicated, queer person, who still sticks to what he knows, and understanding and engaging with himself authentically within that is enough.

Overall just… transfem Marc settles in right for me. A realization of identity that didn’t surface until so late because there was so much else he had to keep himself afloat through, and recognizing that there was more (just like we see with his ignoring of Jake) would’ve been too much to handle. But when it’s able to be real, when he’s able to touch that piece of himself and recognize it’s there, it’s a huge step in his growth and acceptance, in releasing the tension of hiding that he’s gotten so used to.

So yeah :-)

(Id for ask screenshot in ALT)

#this hc literally makes me explode like just. to say it in a goofy way he’s so woman coded to me!!!#moon knight #marc spector #moon knight 2022 #the fruit is talking again #the fruit is headcanoning again #mikes mk meta #the fruit is answering again

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plantsarepeopletoo · 1 year ago

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Only Friends Music EP7 part 2/2

Part one covers the first half of Ep7, or you can find other episodes on my pinned comment.

This is a series of posts taking a closer look at the music of Only Friends. Reminder: Playing with the music is like body language, it moves with the conversation. Verbal says something either through lyrics or something like a song title.

[2/4 cont.]

Song: Partner of Doom by Walt Adams Scene: Ray, Mew, and Cheum are talking at the Hostel about Ray’s accident Type: Vocal, Playful

A stripped down version of the song starts as Cheum says she’s upset about Ray not telling them about the accident, and the piano starts as Ray realizes Cheum knows about Top and Boston. The song pauses for a moment as Mew apologizes for punching Ray, and the actual beginning of the song plays after Mew says “The one that’s gonna hurt them (Top) must be me”. Partner of Doom indeed.

Song: Cold Streets by Marc Torch Scene: Ray and Mew talk Type: Vocal

Mew talks about how hurt he is, that he feels like he was tricked into loving Top. The warm glow of the relationship is gone, and Ray reaches out to comfort him. Mew doesn’t push Ray away, but also doesn’t hold his hand. It’s a representation of their relationship of late. Mew is ignoring Ray’s wants and feelings until it becomes a problem or Ray is useful.

Song: When It Happens by Craft Case Scene: Boston shows up at the hostel Type: Vocal

When it happens, everything blows up. Boston is reactionary, he does what he wants, but at the same time he does want love. So, Boston comes to try to face his friends. He puts on his mask, emotionally distancing himself and minimizing Mew’s pain. When that backfires he drops one mask for another, saying Mew wouldn’t have been able to pull someone like Top on his own. Boston first tries to smooth over the problem, and if that doesn't work, he pushes the person away, saying the most hurtful thing he can think of.

Nick in the past has been trying to push him to accept these pieces of him, to stop hiding. Nick’s “That was a jerk move” wasn’t accusing, it was trying to get Boston to not hide. Nick and Boston have understood each other since the beginning, playing a game of push and pull, but Nick has always accepted Boston, which is what Boston wants. He’s hurting and Nick sees it.

[3/4]

Song: Easy to Be Us By Alder Scene: Sand pulls Nick into a hug, Mew in the bathtub, Top drawing Type: Vocal

Lyrics not in show:

Our eyes are closed Wh1ere we start this loop, on repeat Hear my chest how it beats for you Put your hands on me Time goes fast but yet so slow All evil thoughts, yeah, I let them go 'Cause I'm here with you And all I need is you It's so easy to be us We lock ourselves off from the world, we're lost It's so easy to be us We lock ourselves off from the world, we're lost Don't know what you really feel but I Really like this dream Don't need to feel anything but you Floating in my bloodstream Time goes fast but yet so slow All evil thoughts, yeah, I let them go 'Cause I'm here with you And all I need is you It's so easy to be us We lock ourselves off from the world, we're lost It's so easy to be us We lock ourselves off from the world, we're lost Lost in each other Lost in each other Lost in each other I'm so lost in you

Starts when Sand pulls Nick into a hug, comforting him. Sand’s realizing how far his actions have taken him, first Ray’s blowup, now Nick. Mew “baptizes” himself to be a new person, locking himself away. Top tries to draw, attempting to recreate the picture Mew burned. They’re all lost, broken, locking themselves off from the world as they look inward.

Song If Baby Wanna Sit by Superintendent McCupcakes

Scene: Nick and Mew talk about Boston

Type: Vocal

No lyrics in the show:

I don’t mean to put it on your nose but it’s clear How my baby’s running this whole block cause you fear What she’d do to you if you get dirty hands anywhere near What she do What she is Little boy I1 tell you this If baby wanna sit she can sit If baby said it’s lit its lit Got your bank account in IQ If she said it loud it’s the truth If baby wanna ride she can ride If baby need some time she got time Got your bank account in IQ She can make it count how about you She would put you in a bag yeah Wouldn’t even need to plan it If she want it she a magnet They should let her name a planet Everything she drop like corona Viral make the world start over like a owner She ain’t bout the set but they’d really like to throne her Listen She like Bey she like Hova Self-employed moving paper better than some billy boy Made a choice on the regular she bring a milli home Click my phone get my ass up get her dinner going While she out there making sure that you all know (Chorus) She be always making money If it’s rainy if it’s sunny She make time to call me honey Everyday Drop a couple bands on the clique They need pay Then a couple more on the tip Baby saves That is just the everyday imagine holiday If i get to fifty said she get me Harley Dave Sounding way too fly if you meet her know it’s true So if she ever asks you know what

Song starts after Mew tells Nick that he knows about the recording, that he knows Nick is the one who did it. Mew gets what he wants, he’s decided he is going to control the situation and make everyone pay. Nick hesitates when Mew says he’s going to make Boston pay, he wants to know what Mew’s plan is so maybe he can direct it in his own way. Nick has shown he isn’t without his own soft power. Nick might think Mew is a better of two evils, or Nick wants to hurt Boston. Either way, it’s a chance to at least prove if Gap still has the recording or not.

The song follows Mew into the next scene at the club. It reflects Mew’s feeling of power and control as he approaches Gap. He will get what he wants, to hell with everyone else.

4/4

Song: Temper Temper by Enigmanic Scene: Mew getting ready to go to Boston’s house Type: Vocal

The first time this played was when Top and Mew played laser tag, Mew told Top to “Be sure your attack is good, or face my counter attack.” Here, he’s getting dressed to go launch his counter attack on Boston.

Song: Dark Seas by Michael Rothery Scene: Mew shows Boston the sex tape Type: Vocal

The previous song is called Mr. Marshall by Johnny Osbourne, which starts when Mew tells Boston that he has the short film he did with Gap, and threatens to show it to Boston’s dad. I just wanted to mention it because I couldn’t find a connection with the name and wondered if anyone else might know something. It might just be a really good background song.

Dark Seas starts when Mew says “You and I have something in common. We are gullible.” The song slowly builds, mirroring the anxiety rising in Boston as he is told that Gap didn’t delete the video and now an angry Mew has the one thing that could ruin his relationship with his dad. Boston is out in a dark sea, grasping for a life preserver and realizing the one person he’s wronged has the only one.

“When you hooked up with Top, did you think of our friendship?” Mew makes sure Boston knows why he’s doing this, that it’s Boston’s actions and lack of care that has brought them to this point.

The song quiets as Mew finally throws Boston the life preserver, saying he won’t post it online, because he wouldn’t betray a friend. As Mew leaves another song plays, Any Other, droning and sad. Boston is left to sit in his feelings.

Song: By Your side by Ten Towers Scene: Ray treats Mew’s wound Type: Vocal

No lyrics in the show:

The slow day, the common The night will unfold I never thought that I would be traveling this road People keeps missing The clouds seem to fade On every occasion I whisper your name I'm happy to hear that you'll still be around I thought you were leaving without a sound In my little world you are both pros and cons It's hard to admit when you feel you don't belong So tell me, are you still in there? As beautiful as you are You just don't know by far In this world I'll be Right by your side with arms Even if you don't want You wrote your name in my heart Your odd way of laughing The curls in your hair I wish that I could tell you how much I really care Your harmless desire The tip of your tongue All of your bruises and all of your fun Tell me, are you still in there? As beautiful as you are You just don't know by far In this world I'll be Right by your side with arms Even if you don't want You wrote your name in my heart In this world I'll be Right by your side with arms Even if you don't want You wrote your name in my heart

Song starts after Mew says “Really? Only friends?” Mew admits that he knew Ray had his crush the whole time, but didn’t want to lose Ray, so he ignored it. Ray asks why he can’t be the one for Mew, and even as Mew says Ray just isn’t right, Ray still pushes, asking for a chance.

The song is from Ray’s long time crush,

In this world I’ll be Right by your side with arms Even if you don’t want You wrote your name in my heart

Mew didn’t ask for Ray’s love, and has constantly ignored it. Ray couldn’t say what he wanted, and is just happy that Mew didn’t leave him. Ray has always accepted Mew’s bruises and fun, to the point where Mew is on a pedestal, his savior. Ray's lingering feelings could never come to a close. Maybe it would have been healthier for Ray to step away from that friend group two years ago, but Ray’s need for love and connection kept him going back to Mew.

Ray has always held hope that Mew might change his mind. And Mew couldn’t push Ray away, because he was afraid that it would push Ray into another spiral, that it would prove that Ray was unlovable. Ray’s comment “I’m okay, I’ve always been okay [without you]” was Ray trying to let Mew know he shouldn’t be afraid to let him go. But now, Ray has a chance to be Mew's emergency contact, and he's drawn back in.

Song: We Fade Away (feat. Cartice) by Deanz Scene: Mew decides to date Ray and Top thinks about Mew and Ray Type: Vocal

Lyrics in show:

Laying on my bedroom floor Staring up at the ceiling You got me paralyzed Not a single medication Could kill all this pain I'm feeling I'm barely getting by So I get a little drunk And text you baby Wonderin' if you're home 'Cause I need someone right now I'm a little numb from the love you gave me, I've been sleeping alone Can't get you off my mind Just let me hold you tight until we fade away yeah, fade away Just let me love you like we'll never fade away yeah, fade away Just let me hold you

Lyrics continue:

I've been hanging by the phone Waiting for you to call Cause you never call me back Guess you don't feel the same way I've been feeling bout you babe But I don't want for you to leave So I get a little drunk And text you baby Wonderin' if you're home 'Cause I need someone right now I'm a little numb from the love you gave me, I've been sleeping alone Can't get you off my mind Just let me hold you tight until we fade away yeah, fade away Just let me love you like we'll never fade away, fade away Just let me hold you Just let me hold you So I get a little drunk And text you baby Wonderin' if you're home 'Cause I need someone right now Just let me hold you tight until we fade away yeah fade away Just let me love you like we'll never fade away, fade away Just let me hold you Just let me hold you Just let me hold you

Song starts as Ray says “It’s never too late, Mew. I love you no matter what.” And Mew decides that maybe he should try to date the person he doesn't actually feel anything romantic for, just because he “should” feel something for someone who has been so devoted. To Ray, this is everything he had been hoping for. Mew is everything he should be wanting, and to Mew, Ray is a safe choice and not Top.

Lyrics start when the scene changes to Top, laying down on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, thinking of Mew, and imagining being with him at the silent disco. In his imagination he can hug Mew like he wants, even if it hurts. He isn’t able to go forward, go back, he’s paralyzed, powerless.

The last shot is Sand watching Ray dance with Mew, who is wearing the shirt he had put onto Ray. “let me hold you” has an echo, and sounds hollow.

That's it for EP7, thank you for reading! Thank you @rocketturtle4 and @shouldiusemyname

Here's the master list if you'd like to read other episodes

Here's a link to EP7 part 1

#only friends meta #only friends the series #ofts #only friends music #only friends ost #Spotify #Plant's OFTS Music #only friends ep 7

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616marcspector · 1 year ago

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P L E A S E say more about autistic marc spector you are SO RIGHT and i want to hear EVERYTHING, have already read your whole tag (the body language!!!! yes!!!!!!) and 100% want more!

i am sorry for taking So Long to reply to this ask i have been so busy with irl stuff recently 😭

i've talked a bit about body language and stims and things and today i want to talk a little bit about his brain bc it is so fascinating to me i want to pick him apart <3

we know marc has had suicidal thoughts in the past, this is canon in both the comics and the series. and in both cases his desire for death comes from guilt. but why does he want to die, specifically? often people suffering from guilt would prefer to be punished, to be put through the same pain that they have caused others. we see this in the more modern comics, where marc has very little care for himself and his well-being and actively puts himself in harm's way. he is not trying to kill himself, he is trying to torture himself. (and he is not a masochist, he is simply a very sad and lonely man.)

so we ask again, why did marc feel suicidal in the past? because he craves peace. the world is loud and big and when marc is bleeding out in the middle of the desert after witnessing a massacre or having a meltdown and ptsd flashbacks while steven is coldly egging him on, all he wants is for everything to go dark and silent. he wishes he could not feel anything at all, like he pretends to, like he was taught to, like people expect him to. he knows he has done terrible things, and most of the time he accepts the guilt and tries his very best to rectify his mistakes. but sometimes it is all so very much to bear and he wants to shut down for a long, long time.

marc barely fronts at all in the moench run, only coming out when they need someone angry and violent OR when frenchie is around. and that's important. marc loves frenchie. whether you interpret that love as platonic or romantic or something else doesn't matter, frenchie is a safe space and an emotional anchor. frenchie understands marc, understands his past and his guilt and his anger and his loneliness and most of all he understands what marc needs. when marc is with frenchie he doesn't hide who he is, and as such we end up seeing the softest version of himself. and that is so fucked up how marc does not realise that at his core he is warm and kind and capable of so much love and compassion because he has been forced to mask over and over again that he doesn't even know who he is anymore. and yes that can tie into the did because i do not think it is a coincidence that people with did are often also diagnosed with autism. but that's another subject that i don't want to get into because i am just here to talk about autism.

does any of this make sense? is it coherent? am i just babbling nonsense into the void? idk but this was therapeutic for me <3 also sorry for getting so deep on ur ask i didn't intend to get right into it so heavily straight away 😭

#asks #icehot13 #moon knight #marc spector #the autism of marc spector <3 #suicide mention #marcfrenchie

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silverjetsystm · 9 months ago

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"Tell me... a story..." Black Mask pants, easing himself down beside what would have been his lover could he still love, with rather much less grace than he'd like. They are about equally battered and bruised, due to crawl home more than limp... but Roman had been fresh to this fight and M not so much. The only reason he's the one capable of calling a shot. An old one. One extended to him forever ago, when they'd started tiring of the usual routine and had begun extending it. It appeals more than just putting a bullet in his bride and calling it a day. Price for being let go. One story. M's turn.

@echoestm -- this is before we start making deals.

Moon Knight's chest wheezed and clicked with wounded approximation of growling, face twisted in rage. Last night's Subterranean round with Commodore Planet. Common sense would have told him he wasn't ready for another match. Black Mask was his to deal with so he went. Mask had been ready for him. Moon Knight didn't make it easy. In the end, Silver spoon Sionis, settling down beside him, giving the terms of survival. Galling. "B-better leave. Hrrk. While you still can."

Bullet in his head isn't how he dies.

Concrete is a lousy mattress; he glares, rummaging through stories to tell. Himself? No. The snake and the rabbi in the shtetl, learned at his father's knee, drilled into tuned out ears as a teen, and recited to Marlene and Frenchie years ago? Too nostalgic, too revealing. Glowing eyes stare into the wooden skull.

{Purim's comin' up.} Really Jake? {Uh huh.}

Softer, saltier wheeze, shifting little by little upright. "Purim's comin' up. You'd like it. Big bash….Dress up, Masks. I'd always be Indy. Kids put on a lil play. Adult themes go over their heads. An' everyone gets fershnickered…" A boy's mischievous smile.

The story starts and stops. Catching breath. Coughing. "Long ago, in Persia, the king--" There was a name. They've forgotten. "--throws a six month long party for his whole kingdom. By the end, he's drunk and tells his queen to show her royal beauty. Y'know. Birthday suit style. She refuses. He picks a different girl to be queen. Esther. Esther's Jewish… Her cousin, Mordecai, tells her to keep it hidden. Mordecai keeps the king from getting assassinated. This ticks off his viceroy, Haman."

Deliberate pause. "Supposed to boo when you hear his name. Haman…" Boot nudges Mask's leg. "M tellin' a story. Y'gotta play along… W-Work with me here…M not performin' fer--" Wheeze, hack. "Rrrn. Haman learns Mordecai's Jewish. Convinces the king to kill all the Jews in Persia. Mordecai hears this plot. Jews start fastin' and prayin'. Nobody can talk sense into the king cause the king says anyone who approaches him will die. Esther's scared. She eventually addresses the king cause we all know she's the only one who can approach. Says 'If I perish, I perish.' Mordecai keeps tickin' Haman off by not bowin' to him."

Layers. Intrigue. Is the boxer holding pain while the scrapper talks? Chicago or Brooklyn? They're all Moon Knight, they all make up the rabbi's son. Is this even engaging? White clothes, black masks of cloth and wood. If Moon Knight dies, all they die. Chances are they'll scrap another time. Way of things. Jake and Grant guess this is high stakes flirting. Cute.

"Haman decides to hang Mordecai the next day. King hears Mordecai saved his life chapters ago. An' asks Haman how to honor a guy like that. Haman thinks the king's talkin' about him. So he tells the king to let the guy wear the king's robes and be led round on the king's horse. King has Haman give these honors to Mordecai. Haman's night is as bad as his day. Esther reveals she's Jewish, King backs her, an' Haman is executed."

Their smile turns Moon Knight bloodthirsty. Marc's favorite part. No G-d mentioned in this tale. G-d is in the pile-up of individual actions. "Cause y'can't call cancel a decree," he says, scathingly. "What y' can do is kill all those with lethal intent. The Jews rise up and put Haman's sons, would be killers, an' thousands of other people to the sword." The non-child friendly part. How far is too far?

"And now we tell the story every year, eating cookies of Haman's ear."

#echoestm #feat. black mask #we are mk | system #asked and answered #//listen i love commodore laser eyes #//'MY BONNIE APPARITION [EXPLOSION SFX]'#//fuck it system effort #//purim spiel by gunpoint #//add this to 'MK Fail Compilation'

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screechthemighty · 2 years ago

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Didn't wait for an answer, here's a selection of the funniest random observations I made while reading a terrifying amount of Moon Knight last year:

Werewolf by Night #32:

I shouldn't be shocked seeing how I'm starting on the 32nd issue of an obscure comics character but I have. Zero clue what's going on.

"I've never been celibate when it comes to curiosity" why would you phrase it like that.

"Out to do my job and collect my bread" *thinks of the meme and tries not to scream-laugh in public*

Marvel Spotlight #28

This dude is really calling himself Conquer Lord and has an alligator pit, comics are WILD

Marvel Two-in-One #52

...he...he tried to kill me with a forklift...

Moon Knight #1

Marlene get it together damn

Okay no but actually Marc immediately getting up, rambling cryptic nonsense, stealing a cloak off a statue, and then running to kill a guy is so on brand.

Moon Knight #4:

"The flash blinded me!!" smug matt murdock laughter

Moon Knight 6:

"I don't much like Marc Spector" the more things change etc. etc. etc.

"Kill the Americans" *frenchie voice* EXCUSE YOU-

Moon Knight 7:

WE HAVE THE MUSTACHE LADIES AND GENTS, WE HAVE THE MUSTACHE

"Speaking of your precious pretty boy millionaire" JAKE PLEASE LMAOOO

Moon Knight 10:

Ah yes, a mental breakdown while soaking wet...classic.

"Emotionally turbulent public chauffeur" I am ONLY calling Jake that from now on

PLEASE NOT HIM ALAS POOR YORICK-ING ON A GARGOYLE...

Moon Knight 12:

What in the Russian Sleep Experiment is going on here on this day

Moon Knight 16:

Invoking Diana and Charles aged very badly lmao

Moon Knight 22:

How many car crashes has Frenchie been in this run?? Like three or four by now????

Moon Knight 27:

"What's the going price for a cop" JACOB LOCKLEY LMAO

NOT THE KINGPIN, MATT WHERE ARE YOU

"The Kingpin can wait until another day" *muffled matt voice* NO PLEASE HE'S YOUR PROBLEM NOW COME BACK

Moon Knight 28:

"If you're lucky, you don't wake for a week" PRETTY sure that's called a coma

"You both deserve a kiss" I can promise you, Khonshu does not

Moon Knight 34:

0/10 they made Gena cry

Moon Knight 35:

"The man's determination is both inspiring and frightening." That's it, that's the system.

Moon Knight 37:

"Bottled up hostility and fists, fists, fists." That's why you're not allowed to hang out with Daredevil

Fist of Khonshu 4:

I hate that this version of the mask has lips

Fist of Khonshu 6:

This run was kind of ass, full offense.

West Coast Avengers Collection:

Wait why are they putting Tony in a special tank for the suit...just take the suit???

PLEASE NOT CLEA FLIRTING WITH BEN FRANKLIN

Moon Knight doesn't show up until almost 80% of the way through, I want my money back.

"The Temple of Khonshu" ABOUT TIME YOU SHOWED UP, YOU STUPID PIGEON

"Time has split in seven" please stop splitting time...

West Coast Avengers 31-37:

Marc voice: sorry babe, just dissociating and chatting with my moon god

I'm sorry, Doctor Doom Norted a boy?????

Marc: I have a plan *immediately gets beamed in the head by a mace* Tigra: Is...is that the plan?????

WAIT HE'S BEEN POSSESSED BY KHONSHU THIS WHOLE TIME???

Everyone: wow, ain't love grand Bobbi: I'm divorcing Clint

Marc Spector: Moon Knight 9

Okay as much as I like unkillable Marc, it is a little funny when he's walking around complaining about his ribs

Amazing Spider-Man 353-358

Midnight really does look like Eren Jaegar and it's distracting

Did Frank. Did Frank really just risk blowing his cover to make a pun.

Daken: Dark Wolverine 15:

"The fact that I may collapse any second from blood loss begs to differ" Marc I am begging you to get to a hospital.

Moon Knight (2014) - Wood Edition:

Marc showing up looking homeless with a dusting of his own blood = SO ON BRAND

AND THEN IMMEDIATELY GETTING HIS ASS KICKED Marc, never change

MARC SPECTOR HAVING A NORMAL ONE

Moon Knight (2016) - Lemire Edition:

FINALLY BACK BABY LET'S GO

I'm sorry but the fact that this IS all in Marc's head and he's remember his friends with such fondness is...I'm emo...

"I'm nothing without my friends, Gena" screaming crying frothing at the mouth etc.

"Maybe my job was just to get us here. Give you a chance to rest." SCREAMING. CRYING. ETC. ETC.

Absolutely hate that his "dying" thoughts are of his friends, Lemire I'm coming for you personally

"I'll see Gena. She'll know what to do." tries not to scream in public

"That's a very specific lead, Crawley" all of his leads are like that my dude

Steven just watching Anput bite that dude's throat like "oof sucks for that guy. anyway-"

Moon Knight (2017) - Suffering in the Bemis Run:

Oh she is about to make this so much worse.

OH YOU MADE IT SO MUCH WORSE

"The inspector holmes of kung fu madmen" what am I READING, what YEAR IS IT???

"Marc Spector can be overly confident" that's the first correct thing you've said all issue, dude

I don't like the use of "psychopath" as an insult but someone (presumably Steven or Jake but MAYBE Khonshu) putting Marlene in his phone as "let it go" IS pretty funny [Note from present me: My theory for this is that it was Steven, since as of the Mackay run only Marc and Jake still seem to have strong feelings for her.]

Kicking his flaming pants onto Sun King was definitely not beneath him. That's extremely on brand.

Guys I'm tired...

Doctor Strange Damnation:

"In, but out of his mind" oh this is already gonna get exhausting

"Try not to kill any of them. That means you, Knight" HI, HELLO, BLADE IS LITERALLY RIGHT THERE, JOHNNY BURNS PEOPLES' SOULS OUT, WHY ARE YOU SINGLING HIM OUT???

I'M NOT GONNA READ GHOST RIDER TO UNDERSTAND WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE SHUT UP

Avengers: Age of Khonshu (oh boy):

Thor with baby! Thor with baby!!

"Consorting with moon wizards" STILL NOT THE WEIRDEST THING HE'S EVER DONE

"quivering chicken-god" HEY only we're allowed to call him that! (there is something weirdly wholesome about Marc taking the lead, though)

I've only had Robbie Reyes for five seconds but I'd commit a felony for him

YOU'RE ARRESTING KHONSHU???? YOU CAN'T ARREST KHONSHU???????

Okay update, I guess Thor can arrest Khonshu. I hope they go for the punishment of having Loki throw birdseed at him for the next couple thousand years.

T'Challa: You should join up with us now that we're done fighting. Marc, thinking about how everyone called him crazy BEFORE he did some dumb boneheaded shit, and how much worse it'll be now that he beat up Thor: Y'know what i'm GOOD, THANKS-

Moon Knight - MacKay Edition:

VAMPIRE MLM, TRULY THE FACE OF EVIL

Man, Marc is just trying to turn a new leaf, help some people, and people REALLY CANNOT JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE, HUH...militant atheists on one hand, religious extremists on the other, my dude needs a NAP

"You lost me at 'destroy our enemies' but I appreciate the effort" Reese I'd die for you I hope you know that

"And that makes us brothers" Marc this is why you've gotta start hanging out with Jake and Steven again, every other brother you've had has sucked lmao

"You know I can see in the dark, right?" "You know I can't, right?" D&D parties with the token human be like-

#screech reads moon knight #that sure was a time in my life #these aren't even all the random notes I took just the funny ones I had saved in a notes app

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blissfulalchemist · 5 months ago

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2, 12, 13 for sahar AND a ff clown of your choice

Thank you Macy! Sorry this took a hot second! But you get three characters because I couldn't resist talking about my ffxvi girlies :')

2. Is your OC a loner or a social butterfly? Are they satisfied with how they come across to other people?

See Sahar used to be a social butterfly, and typically had plans most weekends, but this all changed when she had her psychotic break and was back on her own after her inpatient stay. After that she really isolated herself and didn't like to interact with people for fear of their judgement, not that she had any care to what they thought no not her, which led to her doing things like taking on the overnight shift. Less people at night, never mind the other stuff she was trying to ignore. However, once meeting with Marc and the rest of the Midnight Mission she gains a bit of that social butterfly aspect once again and it can be a little jarring to those that don't know her all that well. Frankly this in between-ness that she has going on within the Mission leaves her the most satisfied because it really is the best of both worlds for her and feels more authentic than the social butterfly she was before. The whole better to have 3 devoted friends than 300 superficial ones.

I'm gonna talk about both ffxvi babies cause I love them but also not what you would expect. Between Alma and Clídna the more social of the two is actually Clídna!

While Alma can certainly be social she's more content to be by herself or with a select few people, which can all be attributed to her only really having her parents and needing to keep hidden, to then becoming part of a secret society, and then once again keeping her identity a secret so her main interactions that were for fun was limited to Joshua and Jote. Many though percieve her to be more social than she actually is and it wasn't much of an issue because it got what was needed, until she got older and had that attractiveness about her that meant men would just come up and keep conversation going long after she made it clear she wants to be anywhere but there (and rip Joshua can't go slightly jealous bf on them during this time).

Now Clídna likes being around people and having someone to talk to. She's always had a bigger community around her growing up with her father being in the military in both the Northern Territories and then once moving to Rosaria, she was around loud and boisterous men because he had to take her with him once her mother died and there was no other family to care for her while he worked. And despite the trauma she endured this aspect never waned and in fact she used it to her advantage. Jill was always someone that she wanted to protect and it started at first as this sense of women in a bad situation solidarity but then they became friends and Clídna was finding that as the two got older simply standing up and demanding the men leave them alone or at the very least Jill wasn't enough, so she befriended them and put on this different mask of social-ness so that should anyone get any ideas on wanting Jill she could just as easily step in and give them what they want, saving her friend (and eventual girlfriend) from having to partake in something she didn't ever want. Even when in the Empire's military she used this social aspect to keep herself safe being one of the few women among a lot of men, except for ol' Clive who was far from social at that time and man did it bug her that she couldn't befriend him like the other men. However after getting a bit closer to him she found so much relief in not having to put on this act for him and could let her social battery reset in a person she felt safe with. Upon first glance with her scarred face, muscle, and guardian demeanor many don't find her to be social and in fact almost down right scary, which she doesn't hate after using her sociability as a means of defense but she dislikes that it keeps people away because she does love people and the world and still holds out hope that they have good intentions. She's used to community and being seen as scary means being ostracized and that's well the opposite of community.

12. Is your OC cynical or optimistic? Who or what shaped their outlook on life?

Sahar has always been a bit of a cynic when it comes to life. She just has this underlying understanding that people won't ever see her in the correct lighting or just will dislike her for reasons unknown to her right off the bat. This can come from living around New York and being muslim and from the Middle East, along with the fact that her brother never really liked her and it showed and she never knew why. While she doesn't have an immediate bad faith interpretation of people it does underline everything she does. Before the hallucinations she never let herself get close to Steven Grant even though it was obvious that the two wanted to be in the few interactions they had, as she had a feeling he would just leave seeing there wasn't much to her. By the time she meets Marc she doesn't see him as trustworthy because something seems off and so keeping him at a distance is safe and boy was there some vindication when she found out about his DID and he knew for a long while that his alters knew her prior. Like to her there is always going to be another shoe dropping its just a matter of when.

Alma is cynical with people and their intentions, an optimist that life will be better, and a realist when it comes to her profession. Alma since she was young was always undercover to a degree and was warned against people she didn't know, as they could discover something they shouldn't and based on what happened with her parents being turned in to the empire of Sanbreque resulting in them being branded and then a life of slavery its understandable. She also just has always had such a small circle of people be close to her that makes it harder to branch out, but if those people trust or say someone is decent then she does the same because she trusts those closest to her to not put her in danger. Alma though has hopes that life will get better, she’s part of the change and since joining more of the outside world so to speak she sees there’s more people than she assumed also working for something better, it is also the only comfort she has because if there is no hope then why live at all? (And she saw a boy who should have and was pretty much dead come back from that trauma and still see good in the world around him) And lastly Alma is a doctor and she knows the dangers of false hope when it comes to promises about badly wounded people, she never promises unless she is absolutely certain she can follow through with it.

Clídna is an optimist overall, she has her hesitations with men but considering the abuse she’s been through it’s not a surprise. But Clídna wants to believe in the best of people, she sees each day as a new beginning, and god does it drive her to keep going. She is so so protective over it too that it is what drives her to be a guardian and fighter.

13. How important are romantic relationships to your OC? Do they prefer casual sex, short flings, or long term relationships? Do they want to get married or are they content with what they have? Or do they have no interest in romance whatsoever?

Sahar never planned on getting married or having a family and this is still true overall. She never put romantic relationships at the top of her priority list so they kind of went to the wayside as she focused on her career. She had a few relationships here and there with at least three of them being long term enough to live with one another (and one of those defacing her couch cushions when she broke up with him), but they didn't work out for various reasons and she was typically the dumper. Marc was a bit of a surprise really and was the one person she moved romantic relationship higher on the priority list, this was also true for Steven Grant back in the day, and she was pretty darn close to asking Jake Lockley out when he was her taxi driver. She's still on the fence on marriage but she was never outright opposed to it, especially when her parents were still alive, she wanted the fanfare of it if it felt right with the right person, but if neither of them wanted it they'd take to being the common law or courthouse married. She doesn't ever want to marry comic Marc but she wants the long term commitment to him, so they'd never make it official but won't correct anyone if they called them wife or husband. MCU Marc she has much more consideration for it but that would be years down the line maybe when they're a bit older and greyer.

Part of Alma's optimism towards the world does involve a better life happening for her in having a marriage, kids, the whole picture. She is a lover at heart and while it wasn't a goal necessary it was something she was on the lookout for in a way. While she fell for Joshua pretty hard, if it didn't work out with him she would have looked to others but all of them would be with the intention on finding a long term relationship, but thankfully the feelings were reciprocated and she holds onto the fantasies of the future with Joshua. It is actually within the story that he does ask her to marry him or commit to him whatever makes her happy when the world is saved, to which she says yes and the two eventually do and have three children. So I would say she's pretty happy with how things are currently between them!

Clídna for a long time wasn't looking for any kind of long term relationship, there was too much danger in it and frankly no time for such things. It wasn't until she and Jill started to fall for one another that she wanted more than casual relationships (though due to circumstances she still maintained the ones she had with the men). However once losing her Clídna goes back to casual and stays that way until she's allowed to have more room to consider if there was more than just a feeling of safety with Clive now that they were in each other's lives again. And it turns out that there was more between them just the survival instinct overrode anything other than safety and physical needs. Clídna's feelings for Jill never waned either and that was who she was holding out for in having a long term relationship with once more when they found one another. While things were a bit awkward in the beginning its not long after Cid's death that the three of them lean on each other more and come to the agreement that there is no point in anyone picking one over the other and just became a three way relationship. Their relationship isn't put out in the open very much because they don't want to have to explain it to everyone but its also obvious and everyone in the Hideaway and their associates know and just don't say anything because what business of it was theirs. Clídna is very much happy with how things are between her and her loves Jill and Clive.

#thank you again for asking! I love these women sm #sahar mahin oc #alma ffxvi oc #clidna ffxvi oc

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pizzee · 2 years ago

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Can we talk about that issue? Let's talk about that issue, I wanna talk about that issue. (Btw I love u @tiptapricot thank you for screaming back at me 💋❤️)

This is an analysis but before that, it fucking sent me. Incredible, amazing issue. Imo, the best of this run so far. The art is amazing as always, the writing is peak, and Mr Mackay understands the characters so well I want to ARGHH.Anyway, analysis

I wanna talk about Marc's need to be 'normal'.

Smells like internalized ableism and self hatred and guilt to me. A lot of it too, bottled up from years of serving a manipulative asshole god who takes advantage of him (among other things) that Marc absolutely refuses to acknowledge.

No one trusts him because they think he's 'crazy', he can't trust himself because he has to be in control of everything 24/7 and that's kind of not possible when Jake or Steven are fronting, he can't trust anyone else because he doesn't believe he's capable of anything more than violence. This is the guy who was a mercenary, a war criminal for years until he ‘spontaneously grew a conscious’. It took him dying in a desert at the foot of a moon god and being resurrected to flip a switch for the semi-better. How the hell is someone like that capable of anything remotely good?

But instead of acknowledging that guilt and resentment he has for himself, Marc redirects it into blaming everything on having D.I.D. No one trusts him because they think he's 'crazy', he can't trust himself because he has to be in control of everything 24/7 and that's kind of not possible when Jake or Steven are fronting, he can't trust anyone else because he doesn't believe he's capable of anything more than violence.

Which, back to pushing people away. Marc doesn't believe he's capable of love or being loved. So, he does what he does often, deny deny deny. He ‘never wanted to be loved’ and that makes him a winner, because he never had anything to lose. But like Jake correctly calls out (god his and Steven's fucking call outs were so on point I want to kiss them), Marc's a liar.

“Everyone wants to be loved. Even you.”

They're a system, a team, parts of a whole. Jake loved Marlene, Steven loved Marlene, Marc loved Marlene. They all love Diatrice, they all love Frenchie, they all love everyone they've brought into their lives as friends and lovers and teammates. Marc has loved people and has always wanted to be loved but he can't imagine the same ever happening to him because in his mind, Marc Spector is unlovable. Marc Spector is a bundle of contradictions who his father was ashamed of and sent away to a psychiatric hospital to try to fix. Marc Spector is the guy who punched his dad and killed his brother and cut off people's faces and puts everyone in danger all the time.

He’s scared of getting close to people, letting people in, but then is just as terrified of losing it all, of Steven or Jake swooping in and being ‘better’ than him, of taking it from him because they somehow deserve it more. He perpetuates his own endless cycle of violence by never allowing himself to think he can be better, think he already is better. He wants to reinvent himself rather than change. He continues to want to be anyone but Marc Spector (hence his insistence on always being referred to as Mr. Knight, hence why we rarely see him out of the mask in this run aside from when he’s at his most vulnerable. Spilling his heart out to Greer or recovering from almost dying. And the most interesting thing is, the first thing Steven does once he fronts aside from, you know, not killing Zodiac, is turn around to face Reese and take off the mask. And what do you know, the first time Reese sees their face, the first time he’s completely vulnerable, is when Marc isn’t in control.)

So surely, anyone who's ever seen anything remotely good in him must be lying, anyone who's ever loved him back must be delusional or just as 'crazy' as him and they’d come to their senses soon enough. It’s an endless cycle that Marc has no control over because he’ll always find a way to fuck up and drive them away. So he pushes everyone away and tries as hard as he can to be normal because that's the only thing left for Marc to be the one thing he wishes he was. He wishes he was likable like Jake and charismatic like Steven, he wishes he was a decent human being, someone worth anyone’s time of day, but he'll always be Marc Spector 'who makes the wrong choice every time.'

Buuuut, he isn't alone, he isn’t unlovable. Yes he’s made mistakes, done terrible things, and he’ll continue to make mistakes and be flawed. But. He isn’t the worst version of himself and Jake and Steven aren’t better versions of him. They aren’t anything but themselves, no worse or better than the others because they all exist for each other.

He's never been alone and never will be, which is the beauty of it. He had Marlene and Frenchie and Crawley and Gena before, and he's got Reese and Soldier and Greer and Dr. Badr now. And of course, ✨urbane, sophisticated, charming and avuncular scoundrel my beloveds✨

Marc is so busy trying to fit into the archetypal role of stoic antihero, the guy who doesn't work well with others or need anyone else and gets shit done on his own, he's so busy trying to cast off the old image of 'crazy, unpredictable, uncontrollable, violent' vigilante that he forgets he doesn't have to fit into anything. It's like that thing he said earlier in the run, he's not Spider-Man or The Punisher. He doesn't have to be anything except who Marc Spector is, they don't have to be anything but Moon Knight, together. Which means giving up some control, letting himself be loved.

“…We’re going to have to do it together.”

When he says that at the end, yea, fuck yea. Because there's no other way he— they could do it but together.

#moon knight #marc spector #jake lockley #steven grant #wednesday spoilers #OK IM HAVING A LOT OF THOUGHTS THIS IS JUST SCRAPING THE SURFACE #sorry I could go on and on ab this issue and this run as a whole #I didn’t even get into sterman or badr #And the allusions to the lemire run were impeccable #instead of trying to cure himself he’s just ignoring Jake and Steven in the hopes that they idk go dormant or smth #and now he has no Khonshu to project onto so all that’s left is himself #and he can’t handle that #so more projection and misplaced blame because that’s easier than looking inward #until he’s called out on his bullshit and forced to acknowledge and confront it all #AS STEVEN AND JAKE SHOULD FUCKING MAKE HIM #idk if this is coherent today has been A Day™️#pizz(ee) time #yea yea sometimes i write

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toracainz · 2 years ago

Text

Tell Me Where to Put My Love pt2

You and Steven haven’t been together very long, but that won’t stop either of you from fighting tooth and nail for a chance at a future together.

Series Masterlist

Part 1 - Wish That You Were Here

Part 2 - Everything I Thought I Knew Has Fallen Out of View

Part 3 - Different Kind of Danger in the Daylight

Warnings: Inaccurate depictions of DID (only knowledge from the show and some light research). Swearing. Established relationships. Married relationship. Use of term “priest” in a gender neutral sense. Discussion about cheating. Discussion about homewreckers. Canon typical violence in later chapters. Angst. Fluff.

Word Count: 4.8k

A/N: Actually had some friends proofread this chapter for me lol hopefully you all like it!

It’s funny how quickly you and Steven fell back into place with each other. Steven didn’t have to work at the museum anymore so he had more free time, and when he wasn’t with you he was spending time with Marc, learning how to share their lives. He would always let you know when he wasn’t able to front, letting you know Marc was going to be the one to have the body that day. You got used to their little routine, Steven made it easy, but you still hadn’t been properly introduced to Marc. If he was an alter and shared a body with the man you were desperately in love with, you wanted to get to know him at least. That is, if he even cared about getting to know you.

Marc knew you had been hiding something from Steven, heck it seems even Khonshu had known. Given that Marc was trying to stay hidden from Steven he hadn’t said anything and for some reason neither had Khonshu. Your brows knit together in thought as you fixed yourself lunch. Today was Marc’s day so you were just hanging out at your own flat.

“Tutu, why didn’t you tell me? You had to have known who he was and who he served, so why didn’t you say anything?” You grabbed the plate and drink, wandering over to the couch. Next to the TV stood a man taller than a human. But he wasn’t entirely man, his body was that of an anthropomorphic lion and instead of a lion head atop his shoulders there sat a ceremonial mask and headdress worn by pharaohs of old. If he did have a lion head under there, you had never seen it. The images on his robes depicted other animals, the crocodile, the hawk, a lion. Depictions you had seen online of Tutu were only ever of a literal sphinx, but never the “man” before you.

“It was, how did you say, unwarranted. Nor was it my place, just as it was not Khonshu’s place to tell his avatar.” His voice was smooth and gentle, almost droning, steady and deep, just what you would expect of the protector of dreamers.

“That’s not a good answer and you know it. You knew the whole time…you knew when he was missing! And you said nothing. You let me worry and think the worst things, the nightmares I had and the visions of his nightmares.”

“And I offer my apologies. Had I not comforted you? Told you that he was alive?”

“Yes, but you could have said something, anything about what he was going through and why and where he was going. Omitting the truth is still lying. I can’t believe even after you told me that Khonshu was involved and that Ammit was being released, you still never said that Steven was involved.” You shook your head taking an exasperated bite of your food, turning on the TV.

“In truth, Khonshu was surprised to see me. As I am not part of the Ennead I’m sure he thought I had faded away or resided in the Overvoid. When you and his avatar first met, we kept our distance, but as you both became closer...” the god trailed off as if considering his next words, averting his gaze for a moment. “Khonshu and I made an agreement. That I would not get in his way in his search for Ammit’s tomb, nor would you get in his avatar’s way. In exchange, he would not make mention of me or my having an avatar to the Ennead.”

To say you were shocked would be an understatement, but confusion was unexpected. “What are you saying? Are you not supposed to have an avatar? Hold on, you’re the god of tombs, did you know where Ammit’s tomb was? You could have helped! We could have helped!”

The god sighed as he shook his head. “Ever the inquisitive one. I was and still am a god of the people. I had a close connection with all, not just the elite, as everyone dreams and everyone dies. Though my reach was vast, the Ennead felt an avatar was not necessary for me, I am not restricted by any means, it was just rare that I found a worthy avatar.”

“Oh lucky me I suppose.”

Though you could not see his true face, you could imagine the look the god just gave you, one of complete “done-ness”. “They just like to keep tabs on who has avatars, especially those not in their ‘inner circle’, but I never felt it was any of their business.” Tutu had disappeared by now only coming through as a disembodied voice. “As for the location of Ammit’s tomb, not even I was aware of the location. I gave my blessings to those involved as I had with any other tomb. No one was to know the location and I told Khonshu this. I would have been no help to them.”

You finished off your lunch mulling over what he had said. His last sentence stuck with you. As much as you would have wanted to be there for Steven you wouldn’t really have been much help, likely you would have been a liability. Your powers were better suited to fighting nightmares, in the world of dreams where anything was possible. In the waking world, the most you could do was maybe act as a shield. Tutu’s avatar wasn’t meant to be a warrior, at least not in the waking world. As his avatar you were a “priest” first and foremost, and you still weren’t sure what that entailed.

Your thoughts shifted to Marc while you got ready to run errands. Steven had summed up what he and Marc went through in the Duat. Sparing you the more gruesome details, but giving you enough of an idea of the terrible things Marc had endured, the terrible things that prompted the appearance of Steven. You understood his hesitancy with you and why he did what he did. Marc was still a mystery to you other than what Steven had told you. You knew him more on a surface level; he wasn’t vegan, but did try to stay kosher, he was more of a street smart kind of person compared to Steven and his book smarts. Not to say Marc was unintelligent, he was very smart (according to Steven), he just had expertise in other subjects.

Marc and Layla. You wanted to get to know them now that you knew about them. It was like a secret that no one would tell you. In Marc’s case, you were curious how he would “look” with the body. Steven always had a bit of a hunch and uncertainty to him; even now after he seemed to have found a new sense of self and confidence, he was still very much “Steven”. You had no idea how Marc held himself, how he walked, what sort of energy he had. And Layla, from what Steven has told you is a badass in her own right, even before becoming Taweret’s avatar (whether or not she still was, Steven says, is up for debate).

When you arrived at the grocer, taking a shopping basket in hand, you started around the shop with your list. When you weren’t looking for an item on your list, you thought about Steven, Marc, and Layla, so much so that you almost didn’t notice the man at the end of the aisle reading the back of the sauce bottle he was holding, clearly contemplating getting it, before tossing it in his own basket. Straight backed, broad shoulders (not in a hunch), and a confidence to his walk. He was almost close enough to bump into you before he looked up from his own list and noticed you standing there.

You would have never imagined what it would be like to look into the same brown eyes you had looked at time and again and not recognize the person looking back at you. His curls weren’t parted to the side, flopping about as he walked, they were somewhat slicked back, no doubt an attempt to tame them. And his clothes, so different than what you’re used to seeing draped on that body.

Marc.

He looked at you with a nervous smile, giving you a little wave with the list in his hand. “Uh, hey there.” His American accent was a surprise despite Steven telling you he was actually from Chicago— you were just so used to Steven’s voice. “Well, this is definitely not how Steven would have wanted this to go, but can’t really do anything about that now. Marc, Marc Spector.” He pocketed the grocery list and held out his hand as you did the same, taking it, introducing yourself.

“Yeah, he’d probably complain that he wasn’t involved in planning it or something. I’m glad I’m finally getting to meet you though. He’s told me a lot about you, but I’m sure you knew that.” You fidgeted a bit in place, taking in the familiar yet different features. Trying hard not to stare you shifted your gaze around him, not to linger on him for too long. It was difficult because you could just look at Steven forever, burning his image in your mind so even when you looked away he’d be there, but this wasn’t Steven.

“Yeah, well, for some of it. I tried to give you two your space when I could. And uh, I wanted to say that…I am…sorry. For outing you, about your secret. It wasn’t anything personal, I was just trying to look out for Steven. You’ve been real nice to him, but I couldn’t take the chance that there might be something you were trying to get out of it…if you were trying to hurt him.”

“Oh…oh! No, I’m not upset about that, Marc. Don’t worry about it. I would have told him eventually I’m sure, but you should know, it’s not easy to explain or share with someone that isn’t familiar with that world. I would never want to hurt Steven. That’s part of why I never said anything.”

He nods, taking in your words. “Yeah, I do actually. Steven mentioned Layla right? Yeah she and I are…real close. But when I told her about the suit and all that came with it, I was very fortunate that she was accepting.” He shifted the basket from one hand to the other, now he was fidgeting. “Hey listen, this weekend she’s coming into town, been busy with some artifact acquisition, and I have a feeling she and Taweret didn’t part ways so soon.” A chuckle trickles out as he smiles thinking about it, about her. “Why don’t you come over for dinner? We can introduce you two.”

“Yeah? I’d like that! I mean, if that’s really ok. I’ve been wanting to meet you and Layla since Steven told me about you both. Just let me know if I need to bring anything and I’ll be there.” You smiled at him, getting rather excited. He returned it with his own smile and nodded. He could see why Steven liked you, sweet, patient, and ready for anything. He hoped you could be ready for what was to come.

Marc didn’t want to hurt you, and he didn’t want to hurt Steven. He really thought Steven would have said something before now and he knew that the longer he went keeping you in the dark, the harsher the light of the truth would be. Telling the truth and being open was still very new to Marc, that was more Steven’s thing, and he didn’t want whatever you and Steven had to be tarnished like that. The way his and Layla’s relationship was, that he was trying to rebuild.

“Great. Yeah I’ll have Steven text you and let you know. He’s not around at the moment, but I’ll let him know.” He gestured to his head with a tight lipped smile. “I’ll uh, see you then? It was nice meeting you.” He nodded once more, you did too, as he shifted the basket back over to the other hand before starting away. Letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding he went to check out not caring that he didn’t have everything, he could come back later, but he didn’t want to be in the store much longer, risk running into you again, awkwardly acknowledging the other.

He had done a bit of thinking since you ran into Steven that day, about relationships and what that meant for both him and Steven. He wanted Layla, he knew that, but Steven wanted you. How would that work, could it work, was it fair to make one sacrifice so the other could be happy? He wasn’t going to give up Layla so easily, not since he got her back and she was willing to give him a second chance. Marc did love Layla, it wasn’t just pity or guilt that made him stay, he had really fallen for her and wanted nothing more than to fix what he had broken.

His feet began to carry him out of the store and down the sidewalk as his mind was still racing. Things were in motion now and he definitely had to talk to Steven and get him to spill the beans before Layla arrived so they could approach this situation like adults…or at least try.

What would Layla think? How would she feel about it all? Marc was coming around to the idea of Steven having his own relationship, with everything that entailed. They shared a body after all, that sort of thing was bound to happen…if it hadn’t already. Had it? Maybe he wasn’t conscious when it happened, not really something he could just ask. Yeah a talk with Steven was definitely in the cards as soon as he made it back to the flat.

~*~*~*~

“Are you mental?!” He was panicking, Marc expected as much.

“You know, Steven, I think we’ve established that I am in fact ‘mental’.”

“That’s not funny…”

“Look, all I’m saying is it’s been a few days since we got back and you still haven’t told them about me and Layla. I just…gave you a little push. Like you gave me at the tomb.” Marc finished putting away what few groceries he had gotten, updating his list so he doesn’t end up buying more than he needs. “Tell them before Layla comes. You wanted me to be honest with Layla, now you gotta be honest with them.”

“Marc, that…this is different. They’re gonna hate me, I know I need to come clean. I do, I know that. But-“

“Nah-ah, no buts. You’re gonna call them or text them, whatever, and you’re gonna tell them the truth. Have them over, tell them to their face. Do something damnit. You want them in your life so bad do something!” He snaps, not that he was intending to, Marc just let his emotions escalate. Something Steven said they’d have to work on. He takes a few deep breaths. “Do you love them?”

“Of cour-“

“Then tell them…Steven. Be open. Do what I couldn’t do and be open with them. They already know everything else. If they truly love you…then they’ll stay.”

“Marc…do you really…want us to be together?”

Marc was silent for a moment, thousands of thoughts flashing in his mind. When he took too long to answer Steven called out to him and again, a bit more stern. “I don’t know, Steven. Maybe…I wasn’t lying when I said I care about your happiness. I do. This is just…I never imagined we’d ever get to this point.”

“So what, you thought that I would just remain ever single and alone while you and Layla or whoever got to go off and have a good time cause it’s ‘your body’? I think we’ve established it is just as much my body too.” Steven regained a bit of his new found confidence and composed himself. “You know what, Marc, you’re right. Yeah, you know I will tell them. Shit…Can I have the body…please…this is something I need to do in person.”

Marc was silent again before nodding. “It’s still my day, so you owe me some time another day.”

“Yeah alright, alright.” With no resistance Steven was fronting. He stood at the kitchen counter a moment leaning against it. He quickly took out a glass, filling it with water and drinking half the glass. He was nervous for sure, more nervous than when he told out about the whole “moon knight” adventure. He was absolutely ready to tell you about that, no problem. It was another to admit that he had kissed someone other than you, that he had kissed a married woman, the wife of his alter. This was going to be much more complicated. He looked to his reflection in the kitchen window seeing Marc facing him. “Thanks mate.”

“You’re not alone, Steven.”

He chuckles putting the glass in the sink. “Don’t suppose you got that protein shake receipe.”

Marc shook his head with an airy laugh through his nose.

~*~*~*~

You really were surprised that Steven called you, even more so that he asked to come over. You had only just run into Marc at the store not too long ago and Steven sounded rather serious. Once again your mind went to thinking the worst. Did you do something wrong? Did Marc not like you? He seemed nice enough, but maybe he was just being nice because of Steven. Was Steven going to be laying down ground rules of how or when you would see Marc? That couldn’t be it right? You and Marc barely spoke for five minutes and he invited you over to meet Layla. Was Steven really upset about that?

As soon as you opened the door he stepped in, gaze down, hands together nervously, his hunch a bit more pronounced as he made his way into your living room like he’s done hundreds of times before. After shutting the door you join him, now officially worried.

“Steven, if this about me meeting Marc or him inviting me over…I’m sorry? I don’t have to come ov-“

“What?” He looks at you, having been pulled from his thoughts he gasps and nods before shaking his head. “No, no, no it’s not that, love. It’s not you, no. It’s me.”

Your eyes grew wide as your blood ran cold at those words. It’s not you, it’s me. What in the world was happening, what could you have possibly missed or done that would bring this up. Had your heart stopped beating or had you gone numb. Steven looked over at you confused then it hit him and bounded over to you.

“Oh God! No! I didn’t mean it like that, love! No, I’m not breaking up with you, of course I’m not. No, no, no, no.” He held your face gently trying to raise you back from your half dead state. You were sure you could see Taweret and her boat before he explained himself. You looked up at him with glassy eyes. “Bollocks…shit…love I’m sorry no, that’s not what I meant to say. Not what I meant. I just, well I have something to tell you. Should have done it sooner. I know I should have but I was just…I was just so happy to have you back.”

He led you over to the couch helping you sit down. His hands gently held your face trying to sooth you, before dropping another bomb. This was not going well and especially not how Steven had thought it would. Here you were thinking he was about to break up with you, when you may end up doing just that to him.

“You got this, buddy. Tell them, Steven. It’ll work out.” Marc tried to help give Steven a bit of a boost. After that fiasco of text book miscommunication, Marc actually wasn’t so sure how this would end, but he had to support Steven…no matter what happened.

Steven knelt in front of you, his hands running over yours as he gathered his racing thoughts. He takes a deep breath and dives in. “I uh…I have to tell you…something. I sort of left this bit out of my story the other day. I shouldn’t have but…you see,” he tries to swallow the lump forming in his throat as he starts to form his own tears. “You see, Layla is more than just a friend…to Marc. He and Layla are…married.” He grips your hand tighter afraid you may run off. “And…and I was scared and she was all I had in that moment. She saved me more times than I can count. I just…I don’t know why…but I…I kissed her.” He hung his head resting it in your lap letting the silence weigh down on him.

If you thought your world was crumbling before, the ground just disintegrated beneath you. All you could do was stare at him, mouth slightly agape, heart pounding in your ears. Did you…hear him right? Maybe you misheard him. Surely, you just didn’t understand what he was saying. “Wha…what?” Was all you could manage.

Steven took a deep breath, head still hanging, resting in your lap. You didn’t run, which would have been good if not for the fact Steven was sure you were in shock. “Marc and Layla are married and I…I kissed her…just before we entered Ammit’s tomb.”

You looked at him and nodded, face still frozen, stunned. Your hand gently pulled away from his before rested on his head, giving him a pat as you started to stand up. Steven shifted out of the way and onto his feet looking at you for any sort of response. He watched as you took a few steps away from him, never feeling further away from you even when he was all the way in Cairo…even in the Duat.

“Lov-“

“No…just, hold on, Steven. Give me…give me a moment.” You didn’t turn back to him as you took in one deep breath after another. Steven felt smaller and smaller with each breath you took, he just nodded and started towards the door.

“I uh, yeah, I’ll just uh…see myself out then. Just, please know I never-“

“Shut up. Stop talking, where do you think you’re going?!” The words rushed out as you turned to see him walking away looking like a wounded animal. “Where do you think you’re going?! No, no you sit down and you…you just sit down!” His tearful eyes widened, he can’t recall a time where you had raised your voice like that, at least not directed at him. He knew he deserved it, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. You paced about as he sat down, your own tears beginning to fall. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you leave out…that incredibly important detail Steven?!”

He took in a sharp inhale watching you unravel. “I was scared you…you would..”

“I would what Steven? Freak out?! Like I’m doing right now?! Oh God, Steven. All this time I was just thinking she was like an old military friend or mercenary contact or something…of course they’re married. How stupid could I be to not realize that maybe they were something more.”

“You’re not stupid, love. I’m the stupid one for thinking everything would be alright if I just didn’t say anything.”

“What would have happened, Steven, when they decide they might want kids? Or move? What would happen then? Would everything be fine?” You froze suddenly, as if something had struck you hard, and really something had. Realization. “Oh God…oh God, I’m a homewrecker aren’t I? I’m the ‘someone else’. Was I ruining a marriage I didn’t even know about?” Your heart began to pound as the panic set in. It was a lot, so much. Steven was quick to reach your side, taking deep breaths to encourage you to do the same.

“What? No, love, of course not. Of course you're not, no. If anything, I am. I knew the truth and I still kissed her. I knew I had you waiting for me back home, I knew you were worried and I still kissed her. Bollocks I’m so sorry. You did nothing wrong. At. All. I’m the git that’s mucked everything up. Please no, no, no, don’t you take the blame for something you had no control over.” He cupped your face in his hands as he continued to coax you into more controlled breathing. As your breathing calms you look into his eyes before placing your hands on his chest pushing him away gently.

“Did Layla know? About me? That I was here…waiting for you?”

“I uh, I had mentioned you, yeah. She was, well she was a bit angry when she thought I was Marc. She thought Marc was cheating on her, which he wasn’t! Because you weren’t with Marc, you were with me. Who is very much not married to her. Marc made that very clear in Egypt.”

You watched Steven ramble together his sentence, your own mind far too jumbled. “But you still kissed her.”

He looked at you, taking a small step back from where you had pushed him. A timid nod made his curls, oh his curls, bobble sadly. “Yes. I did. And it felt wrong. In the moment I was so scared of what we would find in the tomb, Harrow and his goons, and…everything, and I had just told her about Marc wanting to protect her. I think we both wanted the person we cared about in that moment. I wanted you…she wanted Marc. It was wrong, it was all wrong and I shouldn’t have done it. After it happened, and it sunk in what I did, I knew I mucked up. Bad.”

All you could do was stand there consciously trying to keep your breathing steady as you held yourself together, physically and mentally. You nodded and wiped your face.

“Love, I…I truly am sorry. You can ask Marc. All I talked about after that was you. I mean, I talked about you a lot other times too, but after that I just wanted you. And then…then Harrow…shot us.” Steven fiddled with tips of his fingers and his nails. “I should have been thinking about Harrow and stopping him and saving the world, but that wasn’t where my mind was. It was here with you. Alone in your flat, worrying about me. How much of a donut of a boyfriend I am to have…kissed someone else. Love, I am so, so sorry. I understand if you can’t forgive me. You deserve better than that. So much better. I just…”

He didn’t know what else to say. It was out there now and all he could do was wait for your answer and live with it. What he couldn’t live with was the sight of how hurt you were by his actions. He had already hurt you by disappearing and now he had hurt you again.

“So…am I still supposed to show up for dinner when she comes? Hmm? Or was that just Marc playing some sort of cruel joke?”

“Marc? What? No, I mean, no it wasn’t a joke. He was honestly trying to give me a shove to…do this.” He gestured between the both of you, the air feeling so thick with tension. “And he wants us, the four of us, to talk. To figure out what happens next. You don’t have to. If yo-“

“Stop. Please. I…” you wiped your face more aggressively now. Looking at him, hurt and fire behind your eyes. “I want that. I want to meet her and us talk but…I don’t know why. I mean I know why. I love you. Which is why it hurts so much to look at you right now. So…give me a few days, yeah? To figure out…this. Think you can manage a few days without kissing someone else?” Steven looked as if he’d been kicked. All he could do was nod. “Good. Now…please go. Please just…go. So I can…so I can think.” He nodded again, he didn’t really have much else to say as you ushered him back through your door not quite slamming it but shutting harder than was necessary. You furiously locked it before the side of your first slammed against it. Your held back sobs breaking through.

Steven was still on the other side of the door. Of course he was. He could hear the bang and you expelling all the hurt he caused. Closing his eyes he started down the hall to the elevator. Once inside, after pressing the button, he sniffled and wiped his own tears.

“Take the body, Marc.”

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Reblog to give Steven a hug!!

#Moon Knight #moon knight fanfic #moon knight fanfiction #Steven Grant #marc spector #jake lockley #layla el faouly #Khonshu #steven grant x reader #marc spector x layla el faouly #Spotify

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uomo-accattivante · 3 years ago

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At this point in its history, Marvel isn’t known for tinkering with its proven superhero formula. And yet “Moon Knight,” the studio’s current Disney+ series, has taken some unexpected chances.

Its debut episode introduced Steven Grant, a maladroit museum gift-shop clerk with a dodgy British accent, played by Oscar Isaac. Isaac also plays Marc Spector, a grizzled American mercenary who shares the same body with Grant — and who is also Moon Knight, the crime-fighting avatar of an ancient Egyptian deity.

As the story of “Moon Knight” has revealed, Spector has had dissociative identity disorder, or D.I.D., since childhood, and Grant is an alternate identity he created to shield himself from trauma and abuse.

“Moon Knight” was a risk for Isaac, too, even though his résumé already includes some of the biggest fantasy franchises Hollywood has produced. While he has made a whole career of projects that are many orders of magnitude smaller — performing “Hamlet” and “Romeo and Juliet” for the Public Theater and starring in intimate dramas like “The Card Counter” and “Scenes From a Marriage” — he has also been featured in film series like “Star Wars” and “X-Men.” Those blockbusters elevated Isaac to greater levels of recognition, but the grueling work they require and lack of input they typically allow made him hesitant when Marvel sought him for “Moon Knight.”

As Isaac, 43, explained in a video interview last week, the pleasure of “Moon Knight” was getting to explore the title character in a way that felt right to him, even if his approach did not always fit the Marvel mold.

Whether Moon Knight moves on to his own movie or a superteam like the Avengers “doesn’t matter so much,” Isaac said from the offices of the production company that he and his wife, the writer-director Elvira Lind, operate in Brooklyn.

“It’s a new character that we’re taking a chance on,” he said. “The nature of the story is this investigation, this slow-reveal mystery.”

“If it goes somewhere else, that’s great,” he added. “I’m glad it’s not just an advertisement for synergy.”

Ahead of the “Moon Knight” finale on Wednesday, Isaac spoke about the making of the series, of which he is also an executive producer. He also spoke about the unexpected oscillations of his career and about working for Disney while the company weathers a political firestorm. These are edited excerpts from that conversation.

Do you get two paychecks for playing two roles on “Moon Knight”?

I should, man. It’s funny because that’s what I was apprehensive about: I didn’t want it to feel like this masturbatory thing. When I started off, I was very adamant that I didn’t want to do the gimmicky, switching back and forth, Jekyll and Hyde part of it. I really segregated Marc and Steven, even asked if we could shoot them on different days. Just do it through reflections and don’t ask me to put on a different hat.

Some actors say they accept immediately when Marvel comes calling, but you didn’t. Why not?

I wasn’t, at that point, super eager to jump into a big production. I wanted to fall in love with acting again. I was a bit tired. I’ve got two young kids, and I was ready to take a step back, do smaller films that weren’t as big of a commitment. When this came, my immediate sense was, ugh, this is bad timing.

As a comics fan, did you feel like you were getting a B- or C-list character foisted on you?

Yeah, they’re pretty much down to the dregs. Although people said that for Iron Man, too — then it changes cinema forever and what an amazing performance that was. Part of the attraction was its obscurity, to be honest.

What were your inspirations for how you play Steven Grant?

It’s an homage to the things I love, like Peter Sellers and the British “Office” and “Stath Lets Flats” and Karl Pilkington. I was also watching “Love on the Spectrum” — these people are going on these dates, who are autistic, who are feeling all the same things that we all would feel, but they haven’t developed these masks to hide it all. It’s all out there in the open. There was something I found so moving about that. I started doing the character at home, and my kids were asking me to do him all the time

You spoke of feeling burned out on big-budget projects. When did you start experiencing that?

Toward the middle to end of the run on “Star Wars.” The commitment of time was such a long one, and the windows of availability were very specific. I started to get hungry for those character studies and working with those great directors.

You had worked professionally as an actor for several years and had some prominent theater roles. But did you find that big-budget films gave you some breakthrough opportunities?

There were a few supporting performances that gave me the opportunity to do really different characters on these big stages, like “Robin Hood” and “Sucker Punch.” What was fun was that nobody had any idea who I was. I played the King of England in “Robin Hood,” and nobody had a problem with that. Now that I’m more known, suddenly it’s like, can he play English? Should he play English? In this age, we know everything about everybody, and of course people have a problem with suspension of disbelief.

So as a Juilliard alumnus and a veteran Shakespeare performer, you didn’t think these types of films were somehow beneath you?

No, I didn’t feel like that. I wanted to make a living as an actor. I didn’t have the luxury of ethics; I didn’t have the luxury of integrity. [Laughs.] I felt like I could bring my point of view to whatever came my way. Early on, I was like, “If I had the one shot, I could prove …” And then I would get a chance, it would come and it would go, and I would realize, Oh! I guess I need another shot now. After a while, it was clear the only thing you can control is your craft and staying curious, and exercising that craft in whatever comes your way that you think is good.

Did starring in “Inside Llewyn Davis” feel like one of those opportunities for you?

That was completely life-altering in every single way. That was my first lead role. It was a Coen brothers movie. I played music. I still can’t believe that happened. I wanted it so badly and just worked my ass off beforehand. It was the serendipity of the moment that I did what I intended to do and the Coens took the risk on someone relatively unknown.

Was it strange that it led to even more fantasy franchise roles? Like, this is what they think of me?

I’ve been doing it long enough to know that there’s no “they” — it’s just people trying to make movies, whether they’re on a huge scale or a small scale. J.J. [Abrams] wanted to meet me [for “The Force Awakens”] while I was still shooting “A Most Violent Year.” I remember because Albert Brooks [his co-star on “A Most Violent Year”] left me a really funny message pretending to be J.J. before I went to go meet J.J. You take a leap of faith. And sure, had I not done that, perhaps I would have been available for some other thing that would have come my way. But no one ever knows.

You got an earlier shot at comic-book adaptations with “X-Men: Apocalypse.” It wasn’t well received, though I think it gets a bad rap. Is that a role you’ve disowned?

No, I don’t disown it. I know exactly what I went in there wanting to do and the reasons why. There were these amazing actors involved that I really wanted to work with, [James] McAvoy and [Michael] Fassbender and Jennifer Lawrence. I collected X-Men growing up, and I loved Apocalypse, I just found him such a freaky, weird character. And then you get there and you’re like, Oh my God, I’ve got all these prosthetics on. I’ve got a suit on. I can’t move. I can’t see anybody. All these actors I wanted to work with — I can’t even see who they are. I still think back to that time with fondness. I wish it would have been a better film and that they would have taken care of the character a little better, but those are the risks.

Would you count your time making “Dune” with Denis Villeneuve as one of your typical franchise film experiences?

Denis was the reason to do that. When he came to me, he actually didn’t have a role in mind for me yet. He was like, “I’m doing ‘Dune,’ are you interested? What role is interesting to you?” We decided it was Leto. It was challenging to be a very specific sound in a big symphony.

And you knew, going in, that it’s a character with a limited life span?

Yes, that was part of the attraction.

Was “Star Wars” your closest frame of reference when Marvel sought you for “Moon Knight”? Was that what made you wary?

They are such big, huge films. As fun as they can be, you’re outputting a lot of energy and then you leave and you’re just exhausted. That was part of the fear. I didn’t anticipate how much creative flexibility there was going to be — how much energy it gave me back.

How so?

Once Mohamed [Diab, a director on “Moon Knight”] and I started talking about what it could be if we could put our lens on it, we were like, it’s way more important that we’re true to D.I.D. than to some kind of comic-book back story. When you do the research on what causes D.I.D., it’s not like one thing. It’s not, you watched something horrible happen and suddenly you break out into all these different personalities. It’s from sustained trauma and abuse over time. This is a survival mechanism that clicks into place for someone who’s experiencing that. That they’re able to fracture their mind to survive it is kind of astounding.

For much of the series, Marc and Steven would interact in discreet ways, like talking to each other in a mirror’s reflection. How did you handle the sequences we saw in last week’s episode, where the two were often standing side-by-side?

I had my brother, Michael [the actor Michael Benjamin Hernandez], who is a great actor and shares my DNA, stand in as my alter. Other times, it was a huge challenge technically as sometimes, especially in the wide shots, I’d have to act with no one and remember the blocking I had done as the other character and respond to the lines being fed to me in an earpiece I wore.

Was D.I.D. a subject you knew about before making “Moon Knight”?

I didn’t. I had just done “The Card Counter,” which was all about trauma and living with P.T.S.D. I had been doing some research into that, and there was something that felt organic about seeing what’s on the other end of the spectrum.

Does “Moon Knight” speak to why stories about alternate identities and multiverses are becoming increasingly popular?

We live in a post-reality world. Things used to feel a lot clearer, and now they’re not. Nothing can be true or authentic anymore, and I think that’s being reflected in a lot of our popular culture.

You’re a prominent ambassador of Disney’s brand at a time when the company is experiencing conservative backlash and political retribution for its opposition to Florida’s “Parental Rights in Education” law, which its critics call “Don’t Say Gay.” Is this something you feel a personal investment in, and does that backlash affect you individually?

No, I’m not experiencing that. I’m not on social media, so luckily, if that is coming my way, I’m ignorant of it. But everything has a political undercurrent at the moment. Disney was forced to take a stand, and I’m glad that they took the right stand there. Sometimes silence or neutrality is just not going to work. It’s astounding to watch a vindictive politician try to own the libs. I grew up in Florida, and I recognize how dysfunctional the state is. But it’s an interesting time where everything is parsed, and if Disney is going to own so much of the entertainment industry, they’ve got to expect to come up against some tough decisions.

Are these the kinds of considerations you’re going to have to make now whenever you work for a major studio?

I’d rather not. [Laughs.] That’s going to require me to do a whole lot of research beforehand that I’d rather not do. I’d rather spend that time figuring out a good character.

There has to be some conscientiousness about it, but at the same time, you’re also trying to make a living and you’re trying to live in the world. I just want to make good stuff and hopefully try to do it in a responsible way.

###

#oscar isaac #moon knight #marvel #mohamed diab #disney #star wars #dune #inside llewyn davis #x men: apocalypse #michael hernandez #mike hernandez #the card counter #a most violent year #robin hood #new york times

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gummywurme · 3 years ago

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In the Dusk of Twilight

Chapter summary: An old friend visits you and tells you of an upcoming threatening celestial event that comes sooner than you'd expect

Word count: 4.7K+

Rating: Explicit, 18+, sexual violence, violence, language

TW/CW (in order): one (1) funeral, minor character death, flashback bonanza, rape on screen, derogatory language, mild victim-blaming, possession, description of violence, humor used as a coping mechanism, inaccurate usage of Egyptian mythology, fluff. canon divergent, no marc/steven/jake. *viewer discretion is advised*

A/N: oh yeah we got plot now babie. from porn drabble to full-on majora's mask plotline

Read it on Ao3 | Materlist | Part 1 | Part 2

The dusty, stained mirror stares back at you. Harsh blinding fluorescent lights hum above. Empty eyes reflect in the glass, making you wonder if those actually belong to you. Your hands trace the outline of your face, fingertips gliding across your cheek, over the bridge of your nose, and the bow of your lips. Despite everything, it’s still you.

But for some reason, you feel… detached. As if your soul was ripped out of you and poorly put back together. A ghost in a shell. A dull ache spreads throughout your hands. Although there are no signs of bruises, no marks, no discoloration. A phantom pain haunts you.

Your heart is heavy, it burdens a sin deep within. You have no clue as to why you bear such guilt.

You leave the restroom. The day is beautiful, the sun shines so brightly and passing clouds greet it. It doesn’t match up with the event you’re in. It’s his funeral today. You’d expect the sky would reflect that with gray moody clouds and heavy rain.

Heels clack against the marble floor, echoing in the church, as you make your way back to the alter upstairs. The room is isolated, not a single soul could be found, not a prayer to be heard, not even a whisper of a confession. Fading sunlight illuminates the room, religious icons glisten under it. The Virgin Mary statue, holding a permanent welcoming embrace of a position, is reflecting the light casting soft hues of baby blue and shimmering pearl across the walls.

The alter is quiet, there were only three people, including yourself, present for the visitation. His casket is closed due to his parents’ request. You didn’t want to remember the details you heard through a mutual friend, because all you could think of is him being in pain and agony. You want to remember him for what he what once, a kind and loving friend.

Even after what he has done to you? He’s better off dead.

Your brain blocked that memory, making it blurry in order to protect you from its trauma, and yet Khonshu’s comment is enough to make it clear again.

—

It was nearly a year after that confession at the rooftop, not that you were counting in the first place. But love makes you do things and rose-tinted glasses happen to look good on you. But that hasn’t made you forget the whole ordeal with your friend, that’s why you avoid him as much as you can.

Luckily for you, graduation passed by quicker than you expected. Then you never saw his face again. Even more, you’ve moved out, willing to leave that old part of you behind. You find comfort in your new home alongside your partner, Khonshu. Neither of you really stated what your relationship was, you knew that it wasn’t a “normal” or “traditional” kind of relationship. Not you didn’t mind anyway, it’s cute, being his little secret in a world where no one can see him but you.

Enjoying the relationship and the feeling of liberation in a brand new chapter of your life left you lowering your guard.

But you should’ve been more careful.

It was a tradition by now how you’d get up on Sunday mornings to go to the farmer’s market, seeing the new pop up stalls that contained a lot of delicious snacks, the sounds of performers openly playing for everyone to hear, and the fresh fruits the locals sell that brightens up every corner, its fruity aroma blissful when up close.

You loved walking around and enjoying the utter joy this place gives off, sipping a cold drink under the warm sun. You see Khonshu perched on a nearby fountain, his attention taken by some woman with her tarot cards, enchanting the person sitting at her table. He scoffs and makes a comment about it but you don’t hear it too far off wandering, lost in your head as you take in the warm embrace of the sun.

There was a secret, as you would like to tell Khonshu, alleyway that lead up to a fire escape, which brings you to the rooftop of the small building overlooking the farmer’s market. You’ve spent precious moments with Khonshu here before. Like the fireworks festival that took place a week ago, you two sat side-by-side, your head resting on his shoulders. You smile at the memory.

Walking further down to head to the “secret” alleyway, the fewer people are there, you fail to notice that someone was trailing you from behind. Too caught up looking at your phone. You make the usual turn and suddenly a hand covers your mouth, the other wrapped around your front, and forcefully walks you farther down the narrow pathway.

You thrash your shoulders trying to break free from the assailant’s grip but he retorts by kicking the back of your knee causing you to land on your face. A concussion hinders your next moves, the man crosses over your prone form, nudges you with his boot to flip you on your back, and crouches on top of you, fingers tracing the hem of your sundress. “You’re a real fucking bitch, you know that?” the familiar voice sneering at you.

His hand slides up further your body and the tears are starting to flow at the situation, “You really think you could just fucking leave me like that? Huh? You think you’re better than me? Coming into my life like that and then just leave me hanging?” Your hands grip his wrist, a feeble attempt to stop him from pulling your top down.

“Well too bad you slut, it’s how I’ve always seen you. A stupid fucking whore, you were so easy that night. And still are, wasn’t that hard finding you again.” He unbuckles his belt and in his moment of vulnerability, you kick him in the chest. Hard. He stumbles back with a groan, and you turn to your stomach, crawling away as you try to get up. Only for him to grab you by the ankle, dragging you against concrete, flipping your skirt over and tearing the thin cotton, your heart leaps out of your chest when you can feel the heat of his head against your entrance.

The sudden darkness is what you register amidst your scream, the bright morning day had just sunken into a dark abyss. There is a chasmic rumble beneath your bodies, a vicious wind picks up in the alley, and various debris whirls wildly in the wind, hitting your assailant. He stops and quickly gets off you, afraid of the supernatural event he finds himself in, and bolts out of there.

You lay there, eyes shut in tears and sobs in that passageway, as your ceremonial suit takes over without your call. Then you feel someone cradle you gently into their arms, and they stand up to their full height, it feels as if you’re floating. You don’t have the strength to look up to know who is holding you so tenderly. Because your heart already answered for you. You feel the wind swirl around the both of you, grains of sand wisp along with the gust as you leave the place behind without a trace.

—

“You have been called before the Ennead for your foolish behavior once more Khonshu, tampering with the natural order of the sun and moon. What do you have to say about yourself?” Osiris speaks through his Avatar, looking down from his seat with the others.

I was protecting my Avatar, something you wouldn’t understand because you treat them lesser than yourselves, replacing them as quickly as they die in your duties whereas I prevent it! Khonshu’s booming voice made you recoil in your place beside him.

“How many times must we tell you? We do not treat our Avatars so carelessly, it is a part of their devotion, whether it leads them to their doom or not. It is never in our conscious to let them live the life of a martyr.” The Avatar tells Khonshu, his sorrowful tone wrings your heart.

“But tell me, what is it that you find in your Avatar worth sacrificing your place on the Earth and possibly invoking wrath from your fellow gods?” The other Avatars look at each other with a puzzled look at the question then all focus on you, trying to see Osiris’ point.

“Could it be? You feel a swell of affection for her, haven’t you? Why else the grand gesture? Gifting her a staff which nearly replicates yours, the fairer treatment than your previous Avatars, and now the turning of day to night to save her.” Hathor speaks up, you avoid everyone’s burning gaze on you, locking your eyes on the sands below.

“Well I, for one, sympathize with Khonshu’s Avatar, what happened to her is unjustified and his actions were well-intentioned. Khonshu had done all he could outside the ability of his Avatar.” Isis’ spoke up next, tears slipping at the memory. Khonshu looks down at you, his hand itches to wipe the teardrop off your face.

Horus nods, “It is indeed a noble gesture, granted had you instead summoned the suit all of this would have been avoide-”

“Because the suit only could be summoned at night.” You state back, “I can only be Moon Knight when the moon shines.”

Hathor comes to your defense, “And why are you to blame her for the vile actions of another? Has time away from being worshipped really hindered your ability to think? Isn’t Khonshu living true to his statement, as a protector of travelers in the night?” Horus could only grumble in return, “I see in what I said was wrong, forgive me, Avatar of Khonshu.”

You weakly nod at him, not meeting anyone’s eyes.

“Then it is concluded, you are to freely walk away innocent in the eye of the Ennead,” Osiris addresses the room, fellow Avatars in agreement. “But should you pull another move like that Khonshu, you will be imprisoned in stone.”

I… I understand. The grip on his staff softens when he sees you turn to him, a sad smile gracing your face.

Everyone in the room departs through the portal, leaving you two alone in the chamber.

—

You were in a deep sleep that night, Khonshu knows this because it was his doing for what’s about to come. You were restless hours prior, sitting on the balcony, overlooking the quiet streets, listening to Khonshu as he recalls his time long before his banishment. The moon is at its fullest form, its moonlight bouncing off your white nightgown, your image of a goddess in a mortal form in Khonshu’s eyes.

The moon is at its highest peak, this is where our abilities are at their most powerful. Do you feel it? His beak points upwards to the moon and you follow, turning your head and basking in the glow. “Hmm, more like sleepy more than anything,” you yawn, “Like really sleepy…” Its hypnotic gleam is lulling you to drowsiness.

Then it is best that you allow yourself rest, little bird. You don’t resist it when Khonshu carries you back to bed bridal style, the cool sheet of your blanket and the softness of your pillows welcome you into slumber.

The spell worked, Khonshu stays there for a moment, his hand threading itself through your hair, he etches the sight of your face, at ease and peaceful, unknowing the sin he is about to commit.

He can only pray that you don’t ever find out.

He steps back and grabs his staff with both hands, his robes swaying erratically, the moonlight in the bedroom glowing brighter as he channels himself into you. The glowing crescendos and your body floats from the bed for a second, landing back on the cushions with a soft thud.

He blinks his eyes open, a foreign feeling for a being who never had eyes before. He gets up from the bed and comes across the full body mirror, your face greets him. He lifts his hands and feels the softness of your cheeks, the firm bridge of your nose, and the delicate bow of your lips. He mimics your smile albeit it comes as artificial as the ones you give him naturally.

He steps back and looks at you fully, he has seen you bare before, many times in fact. But the fresh new perspective of your beauty seems to have taken his breath again. The moonlight suits you. With the soft breeze softly sifting through the pearly nightgown, you looked like an angel. His heart seizes at the thought of you, this time he can actually feel it. How love has gotten a hold of him tightly. You‘ve got him wrapped in your fingers.

But he isn’t here to admire you, no, he’s here strictly for business. He calls the suit, catching a glimpse of stark white in his eyes in the mirror before his head tilts back, letting the ceremonial gauze wrap around his body.

He feels the adrenaline you talk of when he leaps out of the balcony, the energy that bursts straight into his veins as he sprints across the roofs, the thrill he feels in the jumps he makes, feeling the cool night wind flowing past the mask. It's exhilarating, no wonder you’re skittish and lively in the suit, an utter difference in demeanor you have outside the vigilante mantle, timid and bashful.

He manifests his staff out of thin air and thrusts it forward, a blast of an airstream coming behind him, he leaps into it and the wind guides him where he needs to be.

Khonshu finds the man who wronged you in no time, his misdeed leads to him like a beacon. He walks alone in a crowded street so Khonshu follows him around until he gets a chance. He isn’t surprised in any way with how he acts towards the people around him, he is as kind and charismatic as you described him long ago, it’s terrifying that with a warm personality like his that he can still harbor ill intentions.

He sees him alone in a corner, lighting a cigarette, a flash of spark then a puff of smoke. This is the opportunity he’s waiting for. He lands behind him, grabs him by the back of his neck, and throws him into the dark alley. “What the fuck do you th-” a swift punch to the face silences him, blood dripping from his nose, “H-hey man! Just take the wallet, man! Fuck, here-” Khonshu slaps the leather from his pleading hand, stepping closer to him as he scurries away until his back meets cement. “That’s all I got I swear! W-what do you want from me?” He cries out into the dark.

What I want is for you to right your wrong, Khonshu spits out, venom dripping in his words, and I want it in blood. Another punch to the face. He lands on his side, crying out in pain.

Blind fury overcomes Khonshu as he starts relentlessly beating the man to the ground, his cries blending out as white noise to his ears, and the sound of flesh striking flesh slowly turns to a sickening crunch of bone. He doesn’t realize the tears running off his face and dropping on the man’s brutalized body, he’s curled up clutching his broken arm. He only stopped when your name fell off the man’s lips, begging you to stop.

Khonshu looks at his bloodied fist, the wrappings gone, knuckles dripping in deep crimson. Then he noticed your hair in front of his face, mask unraveled. He doesn’t recall doing that, might have been a manifestation of his subconscious.

Stop? Stop?! Did you stop when you defiled her?! Your voice doesn’t come out of your mouth as he lands a swift kick at him, his body flinging against the adjacent wall.

“Who are you?! You have her face but-” the man stammers as he looks at Khonshu with one good eye.

I am Khonshu, protector of travelers in the night, god of vengeance, and the final word of overdoers. The price you pay for the sin you have committed, Khonshu draws his staff, will be paid with your life. He drives the end through his heart, dragging the staff upwards, letting him slowly impale down back. The man frailly grips the staff, his blood running down the shaft and onto Khonshu’s hands, staining the pure white of his robes with sinful red.

Khonshu drags the body down to the cobblestone ground, a slick sound leaving as he retracts the staff out of him. He steadies his deep breaths and lets out a tight squeeze on his staff as it vanishes, dressing once again wrapping his fist beginning the healing process. He wipes away the streaks of tears off his face and puts the mask on, leaving him behind, cold and lifeless in an alleyway.

You awoke the next morning as if nothing ever happened, the early rays of sunlight starting to peek through the balcony, Khonshu looks back at you from the railings; watching the sunrise and you tell him of a vivid dream you had. He tells you not to think too much about it.

—

You sit at the pew for what seems like hours, his parents thank you for coming, and you nod back at them your gaze unfocused, eyes holding a dull luster, distant footsteps muffle into still quietness signifying that you’re alone.

“I think I know what’s wrong with me,” you spoke into the eerie stillness, “I mourn for the person that what once before you hurt me, he was kind a-and-” you sniff and rub your nose, “and I’m sad that I lost him, maybe it’s stupid of me to separate you like that but he was my friend.” A sob fills the air, “But the truth is, you were never my friend at all, weren’t you? You probably planned this from the start, from when we first met in that cafeteria all those years ago, you played me.” Your hands are folded in prayer, “Now when I look back, all those memories we had are tainted, knowing your true intention, and I don’t regret leaving without a word that night.”

You look up at the polished mahogany wood. “I have lived before you entered my life and I will still live without you in it, you don’t have a hold on me anymore.” You get up from your seat, “I’m at peace now, knowing that you would never hurt me like that ever again.”

The sun starts its descent behind the horizon as you step out of the church, and you see a woman wave at you from the gate, her features obscured by the golden hours, you squint and cover the side of your face blocking the sunlight while the other waves back. You approach her and immediately recognize her.

“Yatzil, and your goddess, Hathor.” You bow in respect of the hidden goddess, “Long time no see.”

“Avatar of Khonshu, it’s nice to see you again.” Her melodic voice and charming smile greet you.

—

The sound of the open road, the mechanical whirring of the convertible, and the loud volume of some popular rock song playing from the radio station fill the golden sky.

“So what brings you here of all places, Yatzil? Here to pay respects?” you joke, not taking your focus away from the endless highway, grip on the stirring wheel unnecessarily taut. She smiles from her place in the passenger seat, “No, that man does not deserve any respect from man or gods alike, Hathor sides with me on that.” She reaches out to squeeze your right shoulder, the softness and sincerity of her gesture are close to making you break down all over again but you hold it back with a sniff.

“Yeah, real piece of shit isn’t he? Anyways, you’re not here to talk about him aren't you, what’s up? Anything the Ennead asking of us?” She giggles at your lingo, the brash words slipping from your mouth a harsh contrast to your sweet face is her reasoning behind it, that statement made you laugh. She had told you that from the last time you were together.

“You know us so well,” her smile captivates you, making the car swerve a little, “unfortunately yes, the Ennead has tasked us with something utmost important.” Your eyes snap back to the front to hide the faint blush on your cheeks, “Oh yeah? That’s what they call every mission assigned to us every time, what makes this one ‘utmost important’?”

“There is to be an oncoming lunar eclipse,” her comment directed at you and Khonshu, Whereas a full moon is our most powerful uprising, a lunar eclipse is the severing of our strength. Especially a complete lunar eclipse, you will have no access to the ceremonial suit of healing. You will be rendered defenseless for as long the moon is under eclipse. The bodiless voice of Khonshu informs you.

“Khonshu tells me I can’t call the suit during lunar eclipses, what’s that got to do with anything? It’s not surprising for an Avatar under the god of the moon to match with the moon’s phases, I’m strongest at full moon but weakest at new moon.” You relay what Khonshu said to Yatzil. “That’s what I’m afraid of,” a worried look takes up Yatzil’s face, “at the peak of the eclipse, there is a sliver that Thoth will break free from captivity. I don’t want you hurt during your vulnerability.”

“Thoth, as in the Thoth that Khonshu fought the ‘moon god’ title for in a vicious battle that I read in a textbook one time?” Your shout over the bustling noise, “So what, he breaks out and is coming for Khonshu to take back his rightful mantle in bloodshed and violence?” Yatzil confirms your theory, “Yes, a really lucky guess to the upcoming predicament, but fortunately, we can continue to seal him away.”

Exasperation scrunches your face, “Ugh, you know what? I am way too starved to talk about Khonshu getting his lights knocked out, which is hilarious to think of by the way,” You insolate wor- “I’m kidding, love you, baby.” That seems to shut him up quickly, Yatzil raises her eyebrows, knowing full well who the endearment is for. “There’s this dingy little diner I frequent, dinner’s on me?” You offer Yatzil and she accepts with a grin.

—

The clinking of dishes and utensils resonates from behind the counter, bustling laughter erupts comes from a group of people at the farthest table, and the savory aroma of dinner elopes the atmosphere when you and Yatzil arrive, making way to a table with a window view.

“What’s the plan exactly? You mentioned earlier about being able to continue the seal?” Cutting the meat into bits as you converse with Yatzil, “There is, yes, Hathor tells me that her previous Avatar aided in the last effort of Thoth’s concealment,” I remember that dreadful night, so many lives were lost in meaningless bloodshed. “Avatars scattered across the globe meet upon hours of the eclipse and chant the spell that tethers Thoth into the ground until the next eclipse to come.” Yatzil’s knife scrapes against the porcelain plate.

“Seems simple enough, where do we find Thoth?” voice muffled through a stuffed mouth, “I’m afraid the whole ordeal isn’t as simple as how I have put it, dear,” Yatzil’s fork stabs at her food, “No eclipses happen at the same spot, it is only at the day of the eclipse where Khonshu can lead us, the moon calls onto him, leading those Avatars before as he did for centuries as he will with us.”

You look out to the window, watching Khonshu as he basks in the moonlight, “So we don’t know where it is at the moment, that’s okay, the next eclipse will be in what? A month or so from now, we’ll be fine, I’ll be prepared by then,” Yatzil jerks still from eating, “The next eclipse… is in three days…” You mirror her stillness, “Three days?! I-I can’t, that’s too soon! I can handle hunting down unholy cultists and stopping vile rituals but a whole god? I-I’m not strong enough for that.” Your mind races and your breathing quickens, Yatzil reaches her hand out to yours and grounds you back, “Hey, look at me, like you said, we’re going to be fine, you’ll have me and other Avatars by your side when it happens. You will not deal with this alone,” she brushes your hair back to soothe your nerves. Your heart does the opposite and skips a beat.

“I think we’re done with our dinner? Let’s rest, there is much work to be done, beloved Avatar of Khonshu.” She gets up from her seat, comes to you, and helps you out of your seat, her hand in yours as you leave the diner. With a revving of an engine, the glow of brake lights, and the crunching of tires against the rocky ground, you exit the parking lot and head to a nearby motel.

—

Midnight draws close as you enter the reception, booking separate rooms for you and Khonshu; Yatzil, and her goddess. “This is a very kind gesture of you, dinner was already enough, you don’t have to pay for our room.” Yatzil yawns as you hand her key, “Nonsense, you are my friend. Your gratitude is payment enough, get some sleep, we’ll talk more in the morning.” A yawn leaves you as well, “Goodnight then, sleep well.” Yatzil bids goodbye, “Goodnight to you too, Yatzil.” A gentle metallic click from her door ends the conversation, you head to your room and do the same.

It was only after washing up you see Khonshu sitting on the cheap motel bed. No crease or fold to be found where he sits, as opposed to when you make your place by his side, the rustling of the lily-white sheets prominent in the tranquility of the room.

I do not want you anywhere the eclipse will be held. Khonshu starts, making you look up to him in confusion.

“Didn’t you hear what Yatzil said? The Avatars are supposed to come together an-” you bite back, ready to talk him out of whatever he’s trying with you.

I have spoken. You will not be there for as long as the eclipse hangs on the moon and that is final. He doesn't meet your gaze, his head looming down, elbows resting on his knees.

“Khonshu…” You trail your fingers against the wrappings of his forearm, intertwining your hands with his as it meets it at the end. “What’s wrong?” Your other hand grabs his beak with uttermost tenderness and face him to you, the mere act melts Khonshu’s stubborn demeanor, rendering him a mush of sappiness. He preens at your touch, his protective walls crumble and he wonders why he put it up in the first place if it meant not being able to relish in your love.

I have lost so many of my Avatars trying to conceal Thoth, seeing their final breaths are always something I never truly settled with. To see their end as martyrs will haunt my very being. I cannot let the same happen to you. You lean into his beak, eyes closing as you listen to the soothing baritone.

“But you need me out there just as I need you, we can’t do this alone,” you whisper into the bone, “We don’t know what will happen in the next three days but I do know whatever I’ll do, I’ll do it with you by my side.” You seal it with a kiss on his beak.

He turns his body fully to you now, Then let it be from here on out, I devote myself to you, in life and in death. For when you wake in the sun I will wake with you. For when you rest in the moon, I will rest with you. You are my beginning and my end. My love for you is unending, plentiful until the end of time. His hand squeezes against yours.

“Were those your wedding vows? I haven’t written down mine yet,” you laugh softly, “And I devote myself to you, Khonshu, god of the moon, for I will love you for as long I walk the Earth. My heart overflowing with love only for you, I will never leave your side. Only in death may do us apart.” You lean in for another kiss, searing the devotement onto his beak.

The analog clock on the nightstand faintly clicks into 12 AM. Dawn of the first day, 72 hours remain.

#marvel #marvel moon knight #moon knight #khonshu x reader #khonshu x you #moon knight khonshu #khonshu #writing #mcu #marvel mcu #moon knight mcu #moon knight marvel #mcu moon knight #moon knight show

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tiptapricot · 1 year ago

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Moon Knight City of the Dead Issue 1… why…?

So. New MK side run has begun, the hyped up full on debut of Layla/new Scarlet Scarab in the comics, with a premise that most writers would twist into an epic and breathtaking journey.

We don’t get that here.

And I have a lot of thoughts on why and how I feel so frustrated with what we got. There’s pieces of something awesome, potential to go to some really fascinating places, and yet it is held back in almost every aspect, creating something messy and clunky that makes me mad to read.

(This is long btw)

First off though, some things I did enjoy!

I really love the art and coloring of this issue. The anatomy and movement and shadows, the stylization of character’s faces and costumes, the sprawling city with its deep reds and blues that feel saturated and weighty. It’s great. Besides a few moments that it comes out of left field with some bad stuff (Layla’s whole face at the end or the MK mask w teeth during the memory slideshow like whaTtt is that), it’s super solid and made for a very enjoyable looking comic.

It was also really fun to see Badr for a little. I think it would’ve been cool to get more, and the pacing of things as I’ll get to later sapped his importance in the story for me some, making him feel more like a prop or a plot device to get it going, but overall it was lovely to see him again. And it was cool to see him being a doctor as well, as we haven’t seen that as recently in MacKay! Always a joy my dear sir please come back soon.

The story in concept. Going to the underworld, detaching a headmate supernaturally to journey to a different plane of reality to save one life, and meeting a dead ally along the way is fascinating stuff, an idea that inspires me to want to explore it myself.

Because (and now it’s time to get into the stuff I didn’t like) the writing doesn’t do this idea justice at all.

This is not the worst MK comic ever rn, not their worst writing. It’s not as violently ableist or antisemitic as things like Bemis or making a joke out of MK like some others, but it’s just stupid, and what it glosses over or gets wrong is weird and uncomfortable and harmful in its own right.

To start this isn’t my Marc. His guilt is not one of punishment for penance, of believing he’s sinned and needs to be washed clean by pain. He is a man stuck in bad coping mechanisms and trying to pretend he’s not. He’s a man who hates himself and uses violence as what I would describe as a form of self harm. But it is not with the goal of erasing his past.

Yes, he runs from the person of Marc Spector, he runs from the idea and the responsibility, but Marc doesn’t try to forget. He holds onto things with a vice grip and never lets himself drop it. He believes in his own mythos and is grappling with his complicated and traumatized history to remember he can love and care and trust people again, that the work of making his life better is not solely on his shoulders. That’s what MacKay’s been dealing with.

MacKay Marc is guilty and self flagellating but in a way he tries not to think about, that he brushes over. He puts on an air of confident collectedness and has more hate for Marc as a concept then specifically his actions, and he’s still able to move forward and find a type of momentum and bravado in the MK suit.

Or in simpler terms: yes Marc has guilt. He does not have this kind of guilt.

The first few pages read so strangely, just this over dramatic spiel that feels more like daredevil than moon knight, like a rehashed dramatic intro to a moody sad 90s comic. And not in a good way. It’s not deep it’s just annoying and tedious and the prose is clunky and again, extremely off in its vibes and message. I think it could’ve been alright, if some of the talk of his guilt had been shifted and the narration hadn’t continued constantly throughout the rest of the issue (which I’ll get to later), but as is in its full context it’s just… weird.

In addition to the weird guilt vibes, there’s further issues with the Khonshu religiosity in this.

Khonshu isn’t something Marc worships, he’s something he uses for his own means. He’ll call on him or talk about being the priest of the mission, but that’s because Khonshu doesn’t have oversight, he’s a tool and form of direction and theming, and at the story’s core Marc is the priest for his mission, not this god’s.

At points in this issue he genuinely sounds dedicated though, and it shifts the flavor of earlier pieces more in line with his usual monologuing to seeming more like strange spiritual devotion. Especially calling Khonshu the greatest of great gods, or saying that him being in the underworld is Khonshu’s mission. It changes his actions from that of Marc to that of a real Khonshu follower and its…. Just weird. It’s all just weird and very ooc.

On top of that, there’s no mention or interrogation or even presence of discussing Judaism alongside all of this. I’m not Jewish myself but have had multiple convos around the topic w those who are n who have made their own posts discussing it and can add on more nuance n info to this should they like (bc more thoughts for discussion are always awesome), but just on a surface level it’s strange. It’s strange to have a plot revolving around going to another belief system’s afterlife and not at all bringing up how it clashes or relates to Jewish beliefs. Yes Marc isn’t really actively practicing anymore but I’d hazard Jake probably is, and Marc has still talked about his connection to his faith and how it’s impacted his time as moon knight and serving Khonshu.

The text treats the Egyptian pantheon belief system as the True and Accepted default here, with Marc not even discussing anything about going to an afterlife he doesn’t belong in (and shouldn’t even have) as a Jewish man, or even thinking about how Badr discussing Ka conflicts with Jewish beliefs on the soul and how Neshamah differ.

And yes, Marc works regularly with the very real Egyptian pantheon and mystical systems but it’s in a different way, and under a different context and understanding by readers of his acceptance of it.

A whole other layer of depth, conflict, and exploration could’ve been added by really digging into the theological implications of this plot, of a Jewish soul in the Egyptian afterlife, and yet it’s not brought up at all, not referenced or mentioned and it makes it all feel weirdly out of place, or like stuff is being glossed over.

That, on top of Jake and Steven (not to mention the entire rest of the main mission cast) being completely absent in mention, consultation, presence, or anything just feeds into this strange sense of Pepose wanting Marc to be the idea he has of him in his head, this guilty, sad, and violent merc serving a moon god with not a ton else. And yes again those are all aspects of Marc, but there is nuance to each of those aspects and treating him as a singlet with no thoughts on the conflicts in faith of his present is… just weird.

I don’t know if he’ll be treated as a singlet the whole run, but the fact that the body’s soul being sent into the afterlife has not already brought in any system conflict at all is an issue. Is it their collective soul? Is it just Marc’s? How does this comic understand alter soul distinction? Has it thought about it at all? I mean the answer is no but the thing is it should’ve.

That’s where so many of my issues with this come from though: choices just being… not good. Not thought out or in line with the characters and world. The writing is off and out of place and gOD THE CONSTANT NARRATION IS GRATING!!

I don’t know why it was chosen for Marc to novel write his thoughts and observations the whole issue but it’s bad. It goes past introducing plots or observations that can’t be shown in text to either:

1. Filling space that doesn’t need to be filled

2. Restating what has just been said or shown in a panel (“we have the power of the four horsemen” “wow they just got the power of the four horsemen”)

3. At worst, telling us stuff that was not indicated at all by anything else (“oh I know something is wrong here even though I have not been given enough reason to pique that suspicion” “oh I reunite with Layla and hold her and take her in but haha you don’t see that ig”)

It’s annoying and makes reading things difficult because he’s blabbering on the whole time in places he DOESNT NEED TO!! And it makes the action and emotional movement feel awkward and forced. I don’t need to know every second of Marc’s thoughts Pepose I can parse out things with my eyes I promise you that. Also can he stop talking about penance for TWO SECONDS!!!

The worst part is narration works when done well! When it highlights things that can’t be shown in art or gives some bits of exploration into feelings or exposition, but we don’t need it in every panel. It actually confused some parts of where to look for me by telling me what was about to happen before it did. Stop being like “I thought it was over but—“ JUST LET US SEE ITS NOT OVER!!

Another moment (similar ish to the start) where the narration would’ve worked for me (if it was not surrounded by just more constant narrating monologue) is when Marc first arrives in the Duat. The prose is pretty, it’s vibrant, it describes things the audience wouldn’t be able to pick up from static pictures and helps to set the scene. The only issue is that it doesn’t stand on its own, it’s not an interjection of observations and thoughts, it’s another entry in the never ending cycle of Marc just talking. And it loses some of its luster because of that.

There’s also just a handful of pieces of either dialogue or thoughts that (in the context of Steven and Jake being absent at the moment despite not being absent at the point in time this should be taking place) make me feel very uncomfortable with Pepose’s vibes on their mental health. Some lines that rubbed me the wrong way in context include “The rage fills within me—and suddenly I have a plan. That said, it would help if my plan wasn’t dangerously insane.” “You know me Badr, mental discipline is my middle name.” And a few similar ones I don’t want to reread again for.

They’re just unnecessary man. We don’t need vaguely or directly ableist vibes in words with MK anymore. It works if it feels like it’s coming from Marc’s internalized ableism IE when he was talking about being called crazy during the discussion with Steven and Jake and Jake called him out for it, but when it’s obvious it’s just how the author sees things it sucks!

Stop using insane, stop using crazy, stop being like “oh I’m so good at keeping myself in check,” WE DONT NEED IT!! ALSO THEY R AT A GENERAL POINT OF SYSTEM COMMUNICATION N HARMONY RN!!

Which also just… man this feels like it’s trying to introduce MK instead of continuing an already established and well under way arc. Yea, this isn’t MacKay writing it, but it’s still in the continuity and set up for his run and like… sorry not sorry but I think you should take that context into account if you’re going to be working within it???

Instead the story props itself up by trying to introduce everything at once and Marc feels like he’s starting from the bottom of development.

And speaking of introducing everything at once! Oh boy the pacing!

No one besides Badr is consulted before Marc goes into the Duat, Badr just. Sends him there. There’s no real build up for why there’s a need go that far, for what the threat is or why Marc would go to these lengths so suddenly. Like yeah I know he wants to save a kid who’s a traveler of the night, but like… Others have died or almost died on his watch and he’s never gone to this point before, even though it seems like it’s always something they’ve had as an option. Like… ok ig if Soldier hadn’t been vamped he would just be dead lmao (though also hey! Why and how do souls end up in this afterlife? Do they have to believe in the gods? Do they have to be in some way tied to the pantheon? Is it just where souls go if they’re near moon knight lmaO? If you want to have your afterlife plot you have to do the worldbuilding for it)

And while yes, a lot of this is because This Plot Wasnt Thought Up During Earlier Parts Of Mackay, it also isn’t introduced in a way that feels natural or makes sense.

Events just Happen. Mysteries or drives are just Said without a good basis for why they’re there. Again, this cult was talked about as just kinda a sadistic gang but then they’re a big deal? And oh the kid is dying and oh he’s worth going to the afterlife for and OH WERE JUST HERE NOW and “oh there’s a conspiracy I’ve decided with no real evidence” and HEY FOUND THE GUY and—Suddenly a whole lot of what is happening. God heart full on cult horsemen of the apocalypse memory flashback and BOMBS NOW APPARENTLY and LAYLA and MK BIG PAST BADDIES BOSS FIGHT INCOMING!!

Like ohhhh my god stuff is so rushed and happens so inorganically and with no time to really understand what’s happening. It’s a type of story where my suspension of disbelief isn’t there and it fully just feels like seeing the writer trying to get to the end goal of what they want to write about (moon knight fighting old villains) as quickly as possible. And it SUCKS! Like this genuinely should’ve been more than one issue, there should’ve been at least sOme more build up to gEtting to the city of the dead in the first place, no matter additionally uncovering a plot of some sort happening and Layla turning up.

It’s just…. It’s so rushed and strange and forced and it didn’t have to be and IT MAKES ME MAD IT IS and it’s just not enjoyable to read. It all feels so shallow and stilted and weird, all while having this underlying idea with so much weight, some generally gorgeous art, some moments that could’ve been really awesome, and last but not least…. Literally a good reference to doing a Duat plot well.

This whole mini run is for MCU synergy, bringing Layla in, exploring the Duat and it’s lore, and again yes, the run isn’t done, but it just…. Compared to the MCU plot for the Duat this feels so…. GraaggHhggh. Especially when it comes to system interaction and exploring different painful memories that effect headmates in different ways.

It’s just. It was an extremely frustrating read from both a technical writing standpoint and a character exploration standpoint, and it worries me and doesn’t excite me at all for future issues. Like we’ll sEe but goddamn this is not a good start no matter how it plays out and it doesn’t give me confidence if it turns out I have to read several more issues of this kind of stuff.

Petty nitpicks speed run because there wasn’t enough enjoyable padding for them to not stand out!

I don’t know if Pepose could’ve specified or not but Marc’s not drinking vodka in the opening scene, it looks more like whiskey or something similar by the bottle, again nailing home how strangely off this Marc is from the Marc he’s meant to be with how Mackay has built him up.

Why do they use Duat and City of the Dead like they’re interchangeable titles it’s just the Duat like I get calling it “the city of the dead” since it is that but like. Let that just b the run title they shouldn’t be calling it that like it’s a final name.

They misspell Dr. Alraune’s name lmao

How did the kid get… hurt..? The only point in the opening fight I can think he maybe got hit was with the gunfire but it didn’t seem like that was aimed towards him and there wasn’t any moment of having a detail in the background showing him get injured. And he wasn’t lethally injured at the start so ???

What… is the continuity between the Hydra vs Karnak Cowboys fight we see in MacKay and the flashback here. They were on an empty road there when they crashed? And now they’re in the heart of the city? AlsO bOMBS???

Anyway all I’ll wrap it up with is when the only thing I genuinely smile at is the cameo and namedrop of Apocalypse you know something is wrong with your story lmaO

#moon knight #moon knight comics #moon knight city of the dead #the fruit is talking again #marc spector #mikes mk meta

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