#and then the part that makes me go even more batshit crazy: THEY HAVE /MET/ EACH OTHER. THESE TWO WOMEN HAVE M E T

[pocketgalaxies]

C1E60 || C3E88

[redr0sewrites]

Can you write Vox x reader where like the reader just says like really unhinged things and just like vile things whenever they rage and stuff like the internet could be slow or smth and the reader is just like “IM GOING TO RIP OFF MY SKIN” idk man I’m kinda just self projecting rn like you can right anything with it tbh idk sorry for rambling anyway you don’t have to do this if you don’t wanna

THIS IS SO MEEEEE I LOVE THIS IDEA SM!!! sorry it took me a hot minute to reply to this i have over 70 hazbin hotel requests in my inbox 😭

🥀Cw: fluff, crack, silly vox

when he first met you, vox was charmed by your seemingly sweet nature- that is, until you were pissed

your unholy screech of how you were going to rip off your skin if he cut the wifi again was both endearing and confusing in his eyes

vox would just short circuit for a second, just blinking at you while he tries to process what you just said

once it clicks, he just starts giggling. vox very rarely genuinely laughs, most of his laughs are professional or part of the persona he adopts as the leader of vox enterprises, but when he's so shocked by what you just said, he can't control the booming laughter thay fills the room

he's wheezing and gasping, each barking laugh only pissing you off more

"what's so funny? if you keep laughing i am going to fucking break ur fingers like carrot sticks!" you snap, and vox only giggles harder

after a few seconds, you can't help but notice how adorable his laughter is, and soon you don't mind it as much

once you two are officially together, you notice how stressed vox often is, yet how he seems to visibly relax around you

the batshit crazy things you say, which normally disgusts other people, only seem to amuse him

its actually a wonderful dynamic because you bring some spontaneity and slight insanity into vox's otherwise irritating and depressing lifestyle, and vox balances out the crazy things you say and calms you down every time

you often find yourself searching for new phrases to baffle him with, and for new ways to make him laugh

after vox has a stressful day, he enjoys just listening to you ramble about the most insane things and adores hearing whatever fucked up saying you've adopted recently

vox notices himself beginning to copy your speech patterns. he only begins to realize when he slips in an exceptionally odd metaphor into a work meeting and everyone stares at him, yet his heart skips a beat at the thought

there's something so charming to him about the fact that he's adopting your mannerisms, and you truly make him laugh when no one else can

whenever another one of the vees pisses him off, he always comes to you for advice on incredibly deranged comebacks, and you never disappoint!

he's won multiple arguments by just repeating one of your fucked up sayings and the other vees being too lowkey shocked to disagree

vox LOVES IT when you diss people he hates, hearing you ramble some fucked up insults about alastor made him fall in love with you all over again

"that worm on a string fucked up karen cut bob looking ass- if i see him around here again im going to eat a fucking brick" *cue vox looking at you with the biggest heart eyes*

overall, you are both menaces, but you're menaces in love ♥️

vox lay with his head in your lap, the blue light of his screen illuminating the dim room as you rambled mindlessly about your day.

"and THEN, this fucking asshole tried to flirt with me! ME!! as if he doesn't know were dating! ugh, it makes me feel like i have an entire beehive living beneath my skin. i swear if he even looks at me again im going to lick wet cement i can NOT deal. how can you even work with him? he's such a fucking CREEP voxy, i'm going to cut off those ugly ass wings and shove them so far down his throat- hey, are you even listening?"

you look down to see vox half asleep, his eyelids drooping as his light dimmed. "keep talking.." he murmurs, looking up at you with a lazy smile on his face. "you're my favorite person t' listen to.."

i love the idea of vox with a partner who challenges his very idea of power. he clearly wraps himself in a sort of persona, surrounding himself with powerful people and acting like he's so serious and important. i love the idea of him falling in love with someone who can break down his walls in seconds, someone who can dismantle his entire bravado act and who allows him to truly be himself. this is such a wonderful prompt and i am eating this up. nonnie ur awesome!!!!

[bluespiritshonour]

Water Siblings and Fire Siblings as Foils

Katara and Sokka are peak sibling rep: they bicker, they hurt each other, they take turns being the voice of reason while the other goes batshit crazy—and they'd die for each other.

And very clearly Sokka's daddy's boy and Katara's momma's girl: and for most parts, they seem to be content with that dynamic.

Look, parents have favourites, let's establish that first: don't come at me for it.

But in a healthy environment, where all of the kids’ emotional needs are met irrespective of which kid gets along with which parent, they're less likely to tear themselves apart yearning for parental affection.

Sokka and Katara's family was a normal one, a healthy one—as healthy as one can be in a war ravaged world—and Sokka and Katara are normal siblings. Even after their mother died Katara doesn't seem to care much that Sokka gets more time with their father. And everytime she brings up their mother Sokka gets this weird look on his face, which, I think is later explained by the fact that he feels guilty that he doesn't even remember what their mother looked like. And it's not because Katara seems to know more about their mother despite being younger.

Neither of them grudge the other for having been close to one of the parents—let's call it ‘being close to’ instead of ‘dad/mum loved you/me more’ because that's what would come up with Azula and Zuko.

One can say that Azula's daddy's girl and Zuko's momma's boy... Except it isn't like that.

Azula wasn't loved by her father; neither was she close to him. If anything she had the illusion that she's close to him. But children can sense when they aren't loved, which can explain why she took her mother being close to Zuko so hard. Because she didn't get that from her father and isn't she supposed to be daddy's girl? But dad's good to her; mum... isn't. Dad lets her do what she wants... As long as she obeys him or she'd end up like Zuko.

For Ozai, both his children are pawns. He uses Azula to abuse Zuko, which in turn is to get at Ursa. And honestly, Ursa was a bad mum and an abuse victim and not the villain are takes that can co-exist.

A lot of mums in primarily patriarchal cultures end up abusing their own kids while trying to protect them in an environment where they themselves hold little power.

Ursa and Hakoda can be compared in this.

Katara haters can look away: she isn't whiny. And even if she is, well, she takes responsibility when no one else does so I guess she deserves to complain if that's what it takes. Katara is extremely mature. When she was mad at Hakoda, she still had the critical thinking skills to point out that yes, she understands why he left. He had to! She doesn't blame him for that, it wasn't his fault that there was war going on—but it still hurt!

And what does Hakoda do? He hugs her and apologises. He doesn't defend himself, because he doesn't need to. She understands! She said she does and he doesn't insult her by making excuses. He acknowledges and validates her pain.

Unlike Katara, who grew up in a healthy family with parents and grandparents and a whole community—Azula was isolated and under the influence of Ozai. And she was so young! If you remember being that young, you'd remember thinking that parents are always right. You don't realise that parents make mistakes too—and while her emotional needs weren't being met by Ozai, she turned to Ursa—but Ursa was at her wits end trying to undo the damage of Ozai's abuse on Zuko.

If she had given attention to Azula, Zuko, who thought that Azula was perfect and already had father's approval would have gone off rails—and since she didn't... Azula went off the rails.

Which was exactly how Ozai would want it. I don't like the comics much but it made sense that Ozai would hold both the children as bargaining chips against Ursa. Ursa made her choice, or rather, the illusion of her choice and Azula had to pay for it: the real reason Zuko could turn over a new page while Azula couldn't was because from the very beginning, Zuko had his mum and uncle.

Azula had no one!

Like Hakoda had to go to war and leave his children behind, Ursa had to choose between Azula or Zuko; Ozai orchestrated it as such.

But while there were people to pick up Hakoda's slack, there was no one to guide Azula. Sokka and Katara raised each other and they had Gran Gran.

Zuko and Azula were constantly pitted against each other by a war-mongering father.

I don't like this unrealistic expectations that fandom has of a family where both the siblings not only love each other equally, they also process emotions similarly (see: the Sokka vs Katara debate on how they both react to trauma) and parents who love all the kids equally.

Katara and Sokka are normal and realistic in the way that they are both different people: they process grief differently. Katara takes up responsibly and grows up too fast, it takes a toll on her and she's vocally expressive. She turns her grief into anger. Meanwhile Sokka internalises it in a survivor's guilt kind of way.

There's also gender involved in the way both pair of siblings interact. It's more subtle for the fire siblings than the water sibling. Plus, Suki makes Sokka drink his respect women juice, please y'all don't call Sokka sexist. That was character development for him which was addressed. I could make another post for gender and A:TLA.

And they both love each other dearly and they're okay with the fact that one is daddy's boy and the other is momma's girl. It's okay.

In contrast Zuko yearns for his father's affection and Azula yearns for her mother's. And while Zuko feels inadequate, for Azula it's “behave or you'll end up like your brother.”

She also learns to derive a sick sort of pleasure from watching Zuko suffer—which is entirely her father's doing. Because in rare moments when she doesn't have anything to gain by getting Zuko into trouble...she actually kind of looks out for him. It's extremely rare and sprinkled here and there to show us the Azula that could have been.

And I don't think Zuko really realised that Azula was abused too—not until he lets go of his father. Until the final Agni Kai. What I love about it is that despite portraying Azula as Zuko's tormentor for 3 seasons (and she was his tormentor) they did not frame the Agni Kai as some epic good vs evil shit.

Because from Zuko's point of view Azula was perfect. He's out here vying for his father's affection while she gets it freely. She's so lucky!—until he lets go of his father and realises what a monster he was... And he also realises that father never really loved Azula either...

They didn't say as much in words. But the final Agni Kai is proof enough. Zuko doesn't rejoice bringing Azula down (technically Katara did it). At this point, I guess, he realises that Azula's a kid too. Even younger than him—that their father couldn't care less about either of them.

Okay. I really do think that Zuko suddenly becoming invested in Azula's redemption would make sense after the Agni Kai. I also read this Twitter thread by Aaron Ehasz where he says he had plans for Azula's redemption and it was fantastic.

So yeah. Without being overt, the water siblings and fire siblings are contrasted by each other. Which is why I don't like the comics trying to do this brother-sister thing where they put Sokka and Katara and Zuko and Azula in back-to-back panels like... Even if I'm a huge supporter of Azula-deserves-redemption I didn't like those panels in the comics.

P.S. don't pit Sokka and Katara against each other. You aren't Ozai. They're different people who process trauma and loss differently and hence, react differently.

Adios.

[agendabymooner]

colour me your colour || toto w. x ofc (6)

Summary: Tilly Marie nearly loses faith in her passion as she refuses to listen to everyone who told her to quit. Everyone but one. And it’s the man she met years ago at a racing event she didn’t want to attend. Who would have thought that her father’s partial ownership of three brands could take her to the zone of Mercedes and meet the love of her life?

Chapter summary: Toto makes it harder for her to not flirt in front of the cameras, and with the comfort that came with it, Tilly doesn’t even see the bad parts of the media. Not until the next day.

Content warning: Age-gap, mention of Kimi Raikkonen flirting, whipped!Tilly and Toto caught in 4K, touchy feely vibes, brief use of explicit language

Note: We getting that communications studies degree starting this fall 😩 omw to bag that f1 money ykwim 🙈

Also, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 140 FOLLOWERS?! You guys are batshit crazy and I love you all for it. I hope my cracked-out thoughts somehow made your day… or more. Here’s another chapter for our dearly beloved Toto. Enjoy xx

masterlist

vi. love on camera

   I’ve been with the sky sports people for almost three hours now. My feet are thankful for sticking to a pair of low pump heels instead of running around the paddock and garage with a five inch heel. 

And I’ve been thanking myself for dressing well enough today. It doesn’t even look like I’m here as a support for Red Bull. My linen shirt is loosely tucked in my bell-bottom jeans, two buttons are undone to allow the air to flow freely through my body. The Chanel belt hugs me so tight, I feel as if I have little to no oxygen to breathe in. A Red Bull jacket is worn over my shirt, and I left it unzipped as I feel warm. 

I had never worked on a full live set before. It was nerve wracking to say the least. But after finding out that my father practically sold me, I feel as if I have nothing to lose. Suddenly I’m worse than a pessimist. 

My sisters made sure to tell me that I’m live on television by sending filtered photos of myself. Our youngest sister is the one having the field day with the group chat. She’s been showing her friends that I’m on television. She better be thankful I love her. I never enjoyed being the topic of a discussion. I’ve heard enough from Christian, thank you.

So far, I haven’t thrown up nor fainted. That counts right? That means that my first two interviews went alright. I just have to laugh along. That’s what I did with Fernando and Kimi. They just laughed along, and flirted a little with me.

Or rather, Fernando joked and Kimi flirted; something about going for a drink? Yeah, certainly. The man doesn’t even talk much, but the Iceman definitely suggested we went for a drink (the right words were: “There’s a bar downstairs at the hotel that you may like.”) Fernando’s married and has a nearly year old baby— I would really hate to do something demoralizing.

It turns out, laughing along with their banter will bite me in the ass. Because I know my sisters will be the ones laughing at the television. 

The cameras are already recording and I can’t hear myself speaking as I introduce Lewis and Nico Rosberg to the camera as if I’m speaking to an audience. Then I remember talking about the qualifying today, asking Nico about taking the pole for tomorrow. 

My words are simply flowing out of my mouth as the interview goes on.

“Are you excited?” Few minutes passed by, I then turned to ask Lewis a question.

“For wha’?” He asks, obviously confused as he zoned out during my conversation with Nico. 

“Home race? You coming from Britain and representing the country?” I remind him before joking, “Or did you forget you’re British too?”

“I certainly did,” he realizes what I meant just about now, “but yes. I’m very excited. If the weather treats me right tomorrow, I’m confident that I’ll be able to make it to somewhere of a higher rank.”

“It’s okay, Lewis,” I chuckle, Nico rolls his eyes beside me. “You can say P1. No one’s going to be against that.” 

“You want me to get P1?” He teases me.

My face gives an incredulous expression, making him laugh. I joke, “I feel like I’ve told you this a million times now, Lewis. Do you want me to whisper it in your ears while you sleep too?” 

“God, no,” he shakes his head with a laugh, “your support is highly appreciated, Tils. I am so glad you’re here.”

“That’s why you should go for P1 tomorrow,” I nudged him, microphone still in hand. 

“Only for you, lovely,” he lips pucker up as I roll my eyes and place my flat palm against it. He murmurs against my palm, making people around us giggle. 

Nico adds, “I think you shouldn’t appreciate her support that much, mate. She still works at Red Bull.” 

Lewis finally pulls away and gives me a mocking dirty look, “Right. I knew there’s something dodgy about you.” 

“Thanks Nico, for turning my own best friend against me,” I exclaim in a cheery tone, a smile still in my face as there’s a voice incoming. There he is. 

My smile widens, I feel like I’ll have wrinkles at this early age. The space immediately shrunk when Toto stepped into the scene. He stands a few inches taller than me, interrupting his drivers’ interviews. 

“And here we have,” I introduce him to the camera and ask him about his thoughts on his drivers’ positions for tomorrow. I absentmindedly nod, looking at Lewis and Nico here and there to avoid being caught staring at the tall bloke. Have you ever seen someone so fit you’d continuously waffle on about them until he gives you the chance to snog you? This certainly isn’t me talking.

“Are you supporting Lewis tomorrow?” He asks me with a glint of mischief in his eyes. “Surely you are, right?” 

“I’m wearing a Red Bull jacket, guys,” their voices let out the heaviest laughter I have ever heard. “I’m certainly supporting Lewis, a Mercedes driver, to win tomorrow. Me, someone who’s wearing a Red Bull jacket.” 

Then, as I was chatting with the drivers, Toto pulls his sleeves up and takes off his black jacket, the three pointed star and his name embroidered. His outstretched hand holds the jacket in my direction as I pause from talking.

“What, what is this?” I ask, almost playfully. What’s he doing?

“You said you can’t support Lewis because you’re wearing a Red Bull jacket,” Toto shrugs with a cheeky smile, “you can have my Mercedes one. It’s a bit big but so is your jacket.”

“I really am jesting, Toto,” I giggle, watching him pull his hand back with a little smile. “I’ve said that I won’t be playing favourites so I will stick to my neutral place.”

Lewis reaches for the microphone and speaks over it, “She’s lying. She’ll support me regardless of what jacket she wears. Us Brits have to stick together.” 

“There you have it, folks,” I gesture at Lewis, “he’s explained it perfectly well. Us Brits have to stick together, indeed. I hope I don’t get banned from my own workplace after this— if I did, thanks Mercedes.”

“Well we told you that we’d be more than willing to take you in,” I look at Toto as he smirks, “it would be a shame for their part if they let you go.” 

“You lads flatter me so much,” I roll my eyes mockingly, grinning at the three as I say, “As I said, I’m supporting Lewis because it’s Lewis. I did not say I favour one team over the other.”

“You will, soon enough,” Nico chuckles. 

Lewis pulls me in and says, “If I win tomorrow you should do what you have to do.” 

“What do I have to do?” I ask him, wondering what he’s hinting at.

He shrugs and whispers to my ear, “Go on a date with Toto.”

I pull back and stare at him for a second. I really considered that huh. As if I hadn’t gone already.

“I have already. So don’t get too cocky, eh,” I tell him, his eyes widening as he eyes Toto for a second, my nudge tells him to stop as I dismiss the matter, “having an ego can get you places. But not P1.”

“Watch me,” Lewis grins at me. Like a piece of shit. His eyes also are asking me to tell him more about what was just revealed. I nod briefly, excited to tell him about it.

“Well,” I look at the camera, “that’s it for today. Tomorrow will be the 9th race of the 2014 FIA World Championship and we cannot wait to see how these drivers perform in such weather conditions. Best of luck to all. My name is Tilly and I hope you have a good night. Thank you once again, guys.” 

It didn’t take long until the wires on my body were taken off by Lydia, their media pen assistant. Nico and Lewis had already left. Toto waits for me until I start walking off the scene. 

We walk all the way to the motorhomes, silence shared between the two of us. 

“You left quite fast earlier,” Toto utters. This is the first time we’ve walked together since earlier this morning, and this is the first time he’s spoken to me after I’ve managed to avoid him hours after the breakfast date. I look at him. 

Then I remember walking away from the scene after arriving at the venue. Now I know what to tell him after seeing me speed walk from the sight of him and the journalists.

“Some of the reporters in there were the same people who harass me whenever I’m out and about,” I explain, not wanting to make a big deal out of it as I continue, “I didn’t want to be the centre of the attention today especially now that… yeah.” 

“With you interviewing the drivers for Sky Sports, I can assume Christian told you about Julius’ promotion?” 

I let out a heavy sigh, shutting my eyes close for a moment as I tuck my hands into the pockets. How do I not lose my shit?

“It’s something Julius needs to speak to me about,” I grimace, “if he wants me to do this then he’ll have to tell me upfront.” 

But it’s not like he’ll ever show up. I’ve never seen him since the day I was called to his office building. That was when I was told about this role that I didn’t think would be… important and big. 

“He’s a bit more involved than I thought,” I laugh humourlessly, “I don’t even know how to start with it. I don’t know how you do it.” 

“You’re just handling however much you can,” he tells me, “Christian and the others are more than happy to help you get a head start. You don’t have to get yourself involved with the engineering and strategy part.” 

“I have three degrees,” I deadpan, “three of which have nothing to do with building a car, let alone know the full terminologies. So between my father and I, I think I have less advantage in this field and he’ll most likely fail if I’m the one taking care of it.”

He pauses for a second, making me stop walking as well. My eyes are staring at his dark ones, my brows quirked at his sudden pause. 

“You are confident in front of a camera,” he starts, “I think you should be confident with how you will handle the business passed on to you, no?”

“Yeah I suppose,” I sigh, putting my head down as I keep my hands tucked into my pockets.  “I need to stop being sad.” 

But his chuckle did it for me. That and the way his heavy hand reached to mess with my hair. “Come on, let’s go.” 

“Where?” I ask him, looking up at him once more only to witness his eyes twinkling. 

“Back to the hotel because we all have a long day tomorrow,” he tells me, “that, and I do not exactly wish to have a conversation with any other people at the moment.” 

“Pshh,” I scoff with a grin, nudging him while I wag my eyebrows,  “I have heard a lot about you from Christian.” 

“Huh? Really?” He asks, his face has a mischievous smile that I’ll never mistake for someone else’s. I’ve seen him smile a lot. It’s quite a shame other people never did. He’s handsome and not many people have seen it. Too bloody blind, if they haven’t. 

Or he needs to smile more. But that’ll only scare people off.

“Yeah,” I nod, “something about you deliberately approaching him yesterday?” I raise a brow, still not letting go of my shit eating grin. I then notice the collar of his jacket and reach out to fix it as I playfully say, “Some may say that you’re interested in their acting Liaison.” 

“Hmm,” he hums as if he’s considering it, “did I not show you that earlier today at breakfast?” 

I burst into a fit of laughter as I shake my head, as if I’m telling him, “Unbelievable.”

Have I ever mentioned that this is happening around other people? People with cameras? 

And here I am whining about adding fuel to the fire. It’s quite difficult not to if the man in front of me continues on doing what he does best. Existing.

[kai-anderson-whore]

Sister's boyfriend (part 2 smut) (Tate Langdon x Harmon fem reader)

Summary: after that day you met tate you became good friends but that all changes

Warnings: p in v sex, oral(m receiving), cheating.

Tags: @demxnicprxncess

•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•..•°˚˚°•.•¤❅¤•.•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•. .•°˚˚°

After that day you had met tate everything changed in your life, your mom was now pregnant with twins locked up in a mental institution, your dad constantly having cops at the door or the batshit crazy girl he knocked up constantly appears out of thin air, violet was depressed with god knows what.

As for you well you were on your own if tate wasn't there, he comforted you when no one else had, you were thankful for that, tate was hanging out with you more since violet wouldn't even speak to him. You didn't know why neither did tate.

So you comforted him through his heartache caused by your sister, and he comforted you through yours caused by your whole family, "tate I'm sick of them they wouldn't even care if I'm dead no one will" you sobbed your legs tucked into your chest covered by your baggy jeans, tate sat next to you rubbing your back.

"I'll care y/n" tate said honestly, you shook your head in disbelief, "no you won't tate" you sobbed harder you knew about the house putting everything together when you observed everything going on, you were practically a ghost in this house.

"Yes I will look I know that I'm with, I don't know what's happening between me and violet but us y/n I know this I have strong feelings for you probably stronger than violet" tate admitted his hand never leaving your back, you were shocked to say the least, "tate we can't your with violet you love her" you said wiping the remaining tears from your eyes.

"But I think I love you more" tate said stealing your lips with his own, engulfing you in a heated makeout session,his firm grip on your waist pulling you closer, your hand on his cheek stroking your thumb along his cheekbone.

You softly moan into the kiss, Tate's body pushing you down on the mattress, "wait" you gasped for air, now realising what you were doing, "what?" Tate asked breathlessly, "we can't tate you know we can't" you said now the guilt taking over your body, with the feelings of electricity as tate kissed along your jaw.

"Why not?" Tate whispered into your eyes sending shivers down your spine, "because tate your with my sister" you sighed as he sucked on your neck your mind at war part of you was saying don't do it, that it was wrong, how could you to your sister. But that other part was screaming DO it be selfish and keep this going.

"She doesn't have to know" tate smiled pecking your lips, his hand grabbing your skin making you grow hotter, "tate just let me think about it first" You whimperd breathlessly, "Okay" tate said getting off you. You both sat awkwardly momentarily "I'm sorry" tate spoke up his eyes fixed on his shoes.

"I'm sorry tate it's not you it's violet she's my sister I couldn't do that to her even if I really wanted to" you sighed fiddling with the rips on your jeans.

"You really wanted to do it?" Tate asked, a glint of joy in his eyes, tate always thought you were far too pretty for him even if he was dating your sister, "I mean yes I did- I do It's just argh" you groaned, only for tate to kiss your lips again.

Making you melt in his touch, you saw why violet liked him, pulling away from the kiss ever so slightly, "promise you won't say anything" you whispered againt his lips, "cross my heart" he smiled pulling you back onto his lips.

This time you got on top of Tate, you hips started to grind on his clothed crotch earning a low groan from the boy under you, "fuck" he hissed desperately, his hands removing your 'oasis' t-shirt.

Leaving you in your black lace bralette, "god your so beautiful" tate groaned his hips bucking up as yours grinded against him, you began removing his sweater, discarding it on the floor, your lips marking his neck, and jaw, soft whimpers escaping his lips, you both knew this was wrong but none of you cared right now.

Tate's cold hands grabbing the flesh on your ass squeezing it leaving fingernail prints on the skin, you groaned in satisfaction before getting off tates lap, discarding the remainder of the fabric covering your body, tate watched closely with doe eyes mesmerised by you, how beautiful you were.

"Enjoying the show" you teased slipping your black lace panties down your legs, "very much so" tate gulped removing his pants along with his boxers, your body going back to straddle his, your lips attacking his neck, your hand tugging his blonde hair making tate groan in approval.

Your kisses began trailing down his collarbone, chest, stomach, till you were faced infront his throbbing erection, despite for you, "please baby" tate sighed as you took his cock in your hand, your thumb swiping the precum off the tip, and in to your mouth exiting with a pop and a low moan, tate almost came at the sight of you but tried to keep himself together.

Pumping his cock in your hand, Tate's lips letting out moans and groans of approval but he needed more, and as if you read his mind, you parted your lips sticking your cough drop coloured tongue along his shaft licking upwards, "fuck" tate groaned as you began taking him in your mouth.

His hips bucking into your mouth as you began to pick up the pace hearing praises from tate, "fuck that's it keep going baby" he whimperd feeling himself twitch inside your pretty mouth

You hallowed your cheeks more bobbing your head faster, getting tate closer to his climax, "shit fuck" he moaned ropes of cum spilling into your mouth, as you milked every drop, till there was no more.

Pulling away from him tate breathless, but still wanting more of you, you straddled him again, his hand on your waist holding you, his other hand pulling your body back down for a kiss.

Your tongues dancing with one another, as your hand held his erection lining himself up with your entrance, before slotting down on him, you both moaned into the kiss, his cock stretched you out perfectly, eagerly taking him in, you both stayed like that for a few minutes both making out.

You began to move your body on his, bouncing slowly on his cock, "you feel so good" tate groaned you let out a string of moans, tates hips meeting yours, his cold hands on your ass grabbing the skin, giving it a few smacks.

"You like that?" He smirked his hand collided with the flesh of your ass again making you moan louder, "yes" you sighed bouncing faster on his lap, you felt close to your climax you walls fluttering around tate.

"I'm close" you sighed your legs barley able to hold yourself up, tate pushed you down so you were chest to chest his hips now doing the work, "your pussy feels so good" tate groaned, that feeling of release washing over you like a tsunami, the overwhelming feeling taking over you.

"Shit" tate groaned spilling his release into you, you both laid there breathlessly you got off tate laying next to him "that was fuck" you giggled, "bad?" Tate grimaced thinking you hated it, you looked at him playfully "on the contrary" you said.

Tate pulled your body close to his, "tate?: you mumbled now released what you did, "yeah" his voice deepend with tiredness, "what if she finds out" you ask a stray tear slipping out our eye, "I don't know y/n" tate sighed.

You were remorseful of your selfish actions didn't mean you regretted it because you didn't just, wished your were his and he yours.

[jihancheolover]

i’m obsessed with i want to eat your pancreas’ philosophy on chance vs choice. and as many things are for me, i think kagehina is a poignant example.

when kageyama and hinata meet in the junior high match, it’s not entirely chance, yes the brackets were random but part of the reason is that hinata even bothered to create the team in the first place. and they choose to say those things to each other (main culprit “what have you been doing for the past three years?!”) which cause more conflict. they could’ve ignored each other and moved on but they chose to speak up and insult acknowledge each other (this also says something about their strong first impressions of each other! but that's a discussion for another day)

they also do not meet at karasuno by chance (although i feel this was obvious?). they both choose to go to karasuno because they admire someone on the karasuno team (the little giant and coach gramps ukai for hinata and kageyama respectively) and for kageyama there's the additional external factor of not being accepted into shiratorizawa. even more importantly, both of them chose to continue pursuing volleyball despite previous failures (hinata badly losing the only official match he’s played, kageyama’s teammates abandoning him). only a great amount of passion and persistence got them to push through.

it's not a coincidence that they can pull off the minus tempo freak quick either (again i think this is obvious but i feel i have to mention it), it's a combination of both their talents and skills which they have polished and honed for personal improvement. this makes kageyama's innate talent, years of practice and hinata's jumping talent, fearlessness, practice, an explosive chemical reaction resulting in the freak quick

of course luck is a factor and sometimes you can’t control external circumstances, but ultimately these things happen because of the choices they make. every single choice and decision we make daily has brought us to where we are today. both kageyama and hinata, after meeting each other, gain something essentially important to their lives (greater motivation, a best friend, someone who understands their batshit crazy love for volleyball and is just as passionate), something they were in severe need of (a friend and a partner respectively), they learn to become better versions of themselves and push each other to fly even higher. i truly think they would not be where they are now had they never became friends, hell maybe even if they never met.

but isn’t it nice to think that their meeting wasn’t coincidence, or fate- it’s an accumulation of every choice they had made leading up to that moment. “perhaps i’ve spent 17 years waiting to be needed by you. just like cherry blossoms wait for spring!” i think this quote rings true for kagehina as well.

[sleepy-vix]

just finished the burning god ^^👍 what the fuck

spoilers below

fuck i was a fool to pray that kitay would live

also i had a feelign tjat rin woulg kill her self in the end and im SO INFINITELY GLAD that nezha didnt die in that cave water thing following that monster/dragon, but FUCK I DIDNT WANT THIS ENDING

WHAT THE FUCK RF KUANG

HOW DID U EVEN DREAM UP THIS MONSTROSITY

im so glad that nezha at least lives but actually is that any better than death???? poor boy never wanted to be a ruler. UGHHH I JUST REALISED KUANG ADDED THAT CHAPTER WHERE VAISRA ASKS NEZHA IF HE WANTED TO BE A RULER TO HURT US EVEN MORE

fuck you kuang

you twisted genius

nezha never wanted to be a ruler. his father never cared about him, he was tortured by the stupid dragon god thing, thrust into a position in charge of a whole fucking country- and not a good one at that, forced to hunt down the girl he loved because of duty, and then forced to WATCH HER KILL HERSELF AND HIS CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND and he had to keep going bc he has a whole fucking country to rebuild and hesperians to outplay

fuck all of the characters in these books are so haunted i love it and i hate it and i wish i'd never ever met them

and kitay...

i wanted so so so badly for him to live. i hate that he was so clearly helpless in the end. i knew that he loved rin and it was so glorious that he loved her but FUCK i didnt want him to end like this?!?,!;&:!:&:$. like... she was trynna kill him at the end. i thought hed die by jumping in front of an arrow for her or smtg 😭😭 we didnt even get to see much moments of them simply being best friends

"i cant help but love you" WHAT THE FUCK.

this is so unfair i feel so sick in the stomach i could vomit actually

the only person's death who i'm remotely at peace with is Rin's bc i anticipated it from the start and it was so cleary necessary, even though it was tragic. the whole thing with her spiralling at the end made me so sick in my stomach because i hated her briefly, but really i couldnt actually HATE her because shes rin and shes only twenty one (i just realised shes only SIX. SIX years older than i am) and shes been through so much fuck fuck fuck this stupid ass story i wish i never even had the ability to read. i want to hug rin and just stop time forever

a big part of me wishes that rin never tried to kill nezha at all, that she was completely sane (tho tbf, her going insane was totally warranted considering everything shes been through) and she had made some clever deal with the hesperians where she never used her powers ever again but not have to die and she could BE ALIVE with kitay and nezha but.... it makes sense that she dies (even though i hate that). it goes against her nature to live and bend to the hesperians, and her death would give nezha more credibility, and she probably wouldve gone even more batshit crazy having to act civilised and not wage another war... so

UGHAVSAJSBAK

i dont even know what to say anymore it all happened so fast and i still cant accept it

the weirdest thing is that the people i feel most sorry for are the ones who are alive (which is not many, but still...): Nezha, first and foremost. 21 years old and he has to singlehandedly play politics in order to save a fractured country. agshjss i wish kitay could have lived to help him through it omfg

also chaghan. him and his people are going to be the only ones left who have access to the pantheon, but they'll probably have to go to war or submit to the hesperians aghhh and chaghan has to lead all that with HALF OF HIS SOUL FUCKING DEAD (rf kuang... i curse you)

also what the hell happened to Lianhua? :( poor girl is gonna get tracked by the hesperians aswell

ushshajshsjss i cant think anymore. im so fucking miserable ^^,

atleast i can look at fanart now :(

[sketchy-rosewitch]

Enantiodromia: Murph Connors x afab!gn!reader

Part 3

Warnings: age gap, weed, allusions to past abuse, mentions of foster care, juvy, homelessness (just assume that for the rest of these), Nick O’Brien, Nick O’Brien being an ass,

A/N: When I wrote the last part I wanted cookies and when I’m posting this I have had my cookies. Love you guys :)

Part 2

Part 1

BvH Masterlist

Taggies: @bosinclairz @blurrymango @visceravalentines

Murph Connors. Something was and currently is bothering you about him. Especially this past week. Every time he comes home you’re like some dog who’s been left alone for too long.

Your heart feels like it goes faster and almost aches when you talk to him. You’d get like this with Kennedy and Quinn, except with them, you begged for the attention and you didn’t get flustered when they gave it to you. You felt more than flustered when it came to Murph. So much you swear you acted foolishly around him on more than one occasion, not only that but when you’d look back on how your day with him went you noticed you touched him a lot more. Hugs, high fives, fist bumps, and arm grabs galore.

You were falling in love and you didn’t know where this rabbit hole ended.

You sigh and lean against the couch in the loft. Setting down your controller you stare at the fatality screen.

You had been trying to figure out all of your character combos for Mileena and of course thinking about Murph was distracting you.

The man was supposed to be back an hour ago. Today was when Kennedy and Quinn were supposed to get arrested and everything would be normal. You’d be able to live without the fear of getting killed just by being in Murph’s front yard.

The front door unlocks, you quickly make your way down the stairs and to Murph. You can’t read his facial expressions but you know he isn’t happy. You wait for him to speak.

“We waited by the bank you told us to. In fact we had officers at all the different banks just in case you got it wrong and no Kennedy or Quinn.” He scowls down at you. Your heart drops at Murph’s next words. “Are you covering for them?” His voice lowers, you feel his index finger poke your chest. It feels like a bullet of betrayal going through you.

You shake your head at his accusation. “No. I told you what happened with me and them. How I lived. They don’t care about me. I have no reason to protect them and even if I did, I have no way of contacting them. They…” You go quiet and think about who they are, what they would actually do. You were their driver. Unlike anyone they’d ever met. They knew you’d always get them away from police.

“They’re looking for someone else! They told me they spent years trying to find someone like me. I don’t think it’ll take them that long again, they’ll be looking for someone close to my skill set though.” You explain, Murph steps back from you and nods, confirming he understands what you’re getting at.

“Okay, Nick needs to see you tomorrow about all this, you’ll come with me. I’m sorry, I didn’t want to jump to conclusions but Nick’s been driving everyone batshit crazy all day trying to look for answers.”

“Man I’m really sorry, if I knew anymore information I’d tell you. I want them gone as much as you guys do, maybe even more.”

Murph walks towards the kitchen and you follow behind him. “It’s okay, did you eat tonight?”

“Yeah, ate the leftover pasta. Did you eat?”

Murph nods his head and opens the fridge pulling out a beer. You two walk over to the living room couch. He relaxes and takes a sip of his beer, his arms spread across the top of the cushions. “What’d you do all day?” Murph asks, you’re on the other side of the couch sitting awkward yet comfortably towards Murph.

“Played Mortal Kombat.”

He snorts and takes another sip from his bottle. “You wanna beat me that bad huh?” He jokes and nudges your knee playfully. Your chest tightens and you look down at your lap.

“Yes! I do!” You frown at him. “Even played on hard difficulty and everything. Just for me to get my ass kicked by a computer and not learn anything.” You grumble. Murph lets out laugh. “You didn’t rage quit right?”

You smile up at him then look back in your lap.

“Nah, I didn’t.”

“It’s nice to be able to play some of those old games again. They’ve kinda been sitting around collecting dust for the past few years. I got a problem with getting rid of them through. Nostalgia and all that, But uh- when you move out if you wanna take some you’re more than welcome to.” Murph says, your eyes light up at his gift but your heart sinks at the thought of moving out. Even though it won’t be any time soon you’ll still hate leaving him.

Honestly you wonder if you two will talk after you move out. He probably thinks you’re too immature and young, why would he want to continue talking to someone like you when you don’t exactly bring much to the table?

“Really?!” You fake smile, he smiles at you too and chuckles.

“Yeah, want you to have fun, it won’t be fun having an air mattress and a tv but no videos games. Trust me I’ve been there.”

“They had video games in the 60’s?” The joke comes out before you process it and Murph looks at you with a brow raised.

“You know, you’re a real piece of shit to the person feeds you every day.” Murph leans over and pushes your shoulder. You gasp and put your hand in your chest in fake offense. You move your legs so they’re under you and move back over, pushing him back a little harder. The older man laughs.

“Come on now, I got my beer in my hand!” He continues laughing and pushes you again, you start laughing too. Murph takes another sip and sets the beer on the coffee table. You make one final push, more rough than you intended and Murph shakes his head. His huge hands grab you and throw you over his shoulder.

“Murph!” You wiggle and attempt to poke at him, smacking at his back. The man doesn’t budge.

Both of your laughs mix into the air, he carries you up the stairs and turns towards your room, then tosses you onto your bed.

His fingers dig playfully into your sides.

“N-OH! God-damnit! Haha!” Your face is scrunched up, lungs fighting to fill with air. He’s laughing too as you attempt to break free and breathe. You move your fingers below his shirt and dig into his rib cage.

“Agh! Damnit!”

He pants and falls next to you in the bed. The two of your catch your breathes, and let out small laughs until your adrenaline wears down.

After a few minutes your smile drops and your eyes glimpse over at Murph, his eyes are closed. You want him to fall asleep here with you.

You turn your head staring at his facial features. It’s hard not to touch him.

His hair is grey, only small bits of sandy blond come from different parts of it. The smile you had before comes back to your face, except it’s a sad one now. He’s so handsome up close you’d do anything for you two to stay this way.

You don’t realize how long you’ve been staring at him, memorizing every wrinkle and mole on his face until he starts snoring softly. It startles you slightly and you turn away from him, still feeling his presence you imagine just for a moment you two are a couple.

-

The halls of the sheriff’s department are small yet echoey. You walk in silence with your hands in your pockets.

Anxiety tugs onto you, trying to drag you into the dark.

You didn’t want to talk to O’Brien. You couldn’t say that to Murph though, because they were just “doing their job.” You were afraid, honestly even embarrassed. You didn’t think you’d ever have to worry about these men again, it’s why you acted the way you did that night. Now you’re about to be in front of them, or at least one of them, hopefully just one of them, just so they can get answers that you already provided to Murph.

Speaking of. You didn’t talk about what happened last night to him. You got up before him stared at him for a solid minute then fell back asleep, next time you woke up he was gone. You didn’t expect anything more from him but some part of you was hurting for confrontation. But maybe there wasn’t anything more to it, just messing around with each other and Murph being tired from his job.

Murph and you turn and end up in a room with four other men, all sitting at their desks casually chatting away. Nick is the first to notice the two of you.

“Oh perfect, brought the chihuahua back.”

You squint your eyes and make a snarl face at the brown haired man. Murph elbows you lightly and you drop your face.

“And you’re training them.”

You roll your eyes at Nick’s shitty joke, you’re about to open your mouth and say something but Murph interjects into the conversation.

“Yeah, figured you’d wanna hear everything from them.” He walks over to his desk and like a dog you follow him, he sets his keys on the it and his coffee cup next to them, then turns around and you’re face to chest with him. He looks down. “Go on and follow him to the interrogation room.” Murph smiles and your chest tightens, you don’t wanna leave him even if it’s only for a few minutes.

“Can’t it just be done out here?” Your demeanor has completely changed and you wanna hit yourself for looking weak right now especially in front of a bunch of cops.

“O’Brien wants you alone. It’ll only take a few minutes kiddo.”

You nod your head knowing you won’t get a compromise and turn around to follow O’Brien.

You hate the way this man swaggers around. Like he owns the place. Yeah maybe he did maybe he is the leader of these men. But goddamnit he’s also arrogant and an asshole. You just wanna punch him a few times, teach him some shit about what happens to men who carry themselves like they’re owed something.

The interrogation room is small and nothing like the tv shows. You feel like it’s smaller than when you went in at 16 but that could just be because you’re an adult now.

You sit down and O’Brien sits in a chair on the opposite side of the table. He’s relaxed and you should be too. You’ll tell him everything and this’ll be all over.

“Tell me everything.”

You can’t help yourself, you smirk. “Well it all started when I was 5, my parents-“

“Don’t play games with me.”

“Fine, Kennedy and Quinn, they’re looking for someone else. A fast driver, someone like me. I’m thinking two or three weeks at most. I also recommend this time you don’t kidnap the driver. That was a dumbass move on your part if you wanted to catch them. I recommend looking for Lawrence Washington. He doesn’t do any of the dirty work but he knows everything. That’s all I know.”

“Wait here.”

Nick gets up and walks out of the room. You tap your fingers on the metal table boredly. Nick comes back in a few minutes later.

“I feel like you’re not telling me everything.”

You raise a brow at him. “I don’t have a goddamn reason not to O’Brien. Last time I checked I don’t wanna be choked by a no good, goddamn, dirty fucking cop like you.” You seethe, your hands are quickly during into fists as you go into defense mode.

“Well then tell me. Are you covering for Kennedy and Quinn’s asses? You give us a false date?” His voice raises, anxiety rises slowly throughout your body.

“What fucking reason do I have to lie to you?! No I’m not covering for them! I told you exactly why they moved the date! They. Don’t. Have. Me.” You stand up attempting to leave, instead O’Brien grabs your throat and shoves you against a wall.

“Tell me when they’re planning on robbing a bank and I’ll let you go. Tell me!”

Tears well in your eyes as oxygen leaves your lungs. A week ago you claimed you weren’t afraid to die. Now you are dying and you’re scared. So fucking scared.

“Don’t-“ you gasp, trying to get some type of air in your lungs. “Know!” A cry escapes and Nick lets go of you. Afraid of being vulnerable you escape the interrogation room and run back into the office space where Nick’s team is.

“Woah hey.” Murph looks concerned, he tries walking over to you but you speed past him and without thinking grab his car keys and bolt out the door.

Murph yells for you and almost chases after you until Nick walks in. “The hell did you do?” Murph glares and walks up to him.

“Didn’t do shit! They aren’t telling us everything and I know it!”

Murph crosses his arms. “They told you everything they know.”

“How the fuck do you know?”

“They told me everything last night Nick!”

“That doesn’t mean jackshit, they’re probably using you.” Nick glares up at Murph and Murph huffs.

“They don’t have anything Nick. They have nothing to gain or lose. They have no reason to use anyone. They don’t have any benefits keeping shit from us. They told us what they know and I’m not bringing them back here after this.” He explains, finally the two back off. Murph sighs and furrows his brows, wiping his beard. “What’d you say to them?”

“Didn’t say shit.”

“Fine. What’d you do to them?” Murph rewords his question. His jaw clenches.

“Same shit we always do Murph. Not gonna treat them any different just because you took a liking to them.”

Murph’s fist balls up and he lunges at Nick, bringing the smaller man to the ground. His fist collides with O’Brien’s face.

“Murph!” Henderson yells.

Before he knows it, Murph is being dragged off of Nick.

“Fucker! I told you not to touch them goddamnit! You do it again and I’ll kill you!” The taller man’s face is absolutely red with anger. Nick wipes his nose, his teeth grinding against each other.

“It’s a part of the job Murph. You don’t like it you go play cop somewhere else!”

Murph pants and pushes Henderson off of him.

“I ask for one exception. You knew that wouldn’t get answers out of them, I knew it too or else they wouldn’t have willingly looked me in the eyes and told me everything without breaking a sweat. I’ll be back tomorrow, you better have your shit together cause I know I’ll have mine.” Murph growls, he turns around and storms out of the Sheriff’s Department. He pulls out his phone and looks at the tracker on his car. You didn’t go far.

-

The sun is hot on Murph’s skin but he ignores it as he walks across the roof of an empty parking garage. Only his truck sits on top, you’re relaxing in the bed of it, looking over the skyline. He takes a moment, appreciating how you look in the sun and he smiles, calmly walking over to you he pulls out snacks and drinks from his hoodie pocket and hops into the bed of the truck.

“I prefer the view at night. Looks a lot better with all the lights and stuff on.” You comment. The older man sits down next to you.

“Yeah guess you can’t choose when someone will be a dick to you.” Murph replies, you give a tight lipped smile and grab the coke bottle from him, opening it you chug some.

“Guess not, anything happen after I left?”

“I punched Nick.”

You snort, your face brightening up just a little more. You grab one of the small packages of oreos and snack on them.

“I had told him how to talk to you. He didn’t listen to me and it pissed me off. If I knew he wouldn’t have listened, I wouldn’t have brought you there.”

“That’s nice of you to say Murph.” You look at a couple of the buildings and sigh contently. “That warehouse over there.” You point and the gray haired man follows your finger. “That’s where I used to live. It’s where they plan everything, they hide everything there too. Anything they’ve stolen is there. I used to come up here after a bad day, when they’d be bigger assholes than usual, so I could breathe but also so I could watch, ya know for police and stuff.” You explain, Murph nods and crosses his arms.

“Bigger assholes than usual?”

“Yeah ya know… choking, hitting, throwing stuff at me. A good day was just the verbal degradation.”

Murph stays quiet, it’s awkward to him but not to you. You stuff the empty oreo packet in your pants and without thinking lean on him. “You know what would’ve been great right now?”

The older man hums for you to continue.

“A joint.”

Murph lets out a laugh.

“I’m serious! I haven’t smoked in a minute. Come on!” You sit up and look at him. His crows feet visible even from under his sunglasses. He shakes his head in disbelief at you.

“Fine.”

“Hell fucking yeah!”

-

The loft is smokey as the two of you play pool together.

You take your stick and pull it back. It hits the white ball, causing it to bounce across the table just grazing the orange ball you wanted to hit.

“Quit doin’ that! You’re gonna fuck up my table!” Murph complains as he takes another hit. He passes the joint to you. You giggle.

“It’s not my fault man.. ball just does what it wants!” You cough, Murph hits a blue ball in. You suck in again and cough.

“Don’t know how to play pool, don’t know how to smoke. What am I gonna do with you?” Murph chuckles and ashes the joint.

You shrug in the middle of your coughing fit. Murph rubs your back and you finally calm down.

Your glassy eyes look into his and you smile lazily.

“I know how to smoke I just haven’t I got a bit excited. Now pool, you’re gonna have to teach me how to not skip the ball.” You explain, your words feel loose in your mouth, Murph smiles.

“Will do.”

He sets down his stick and the two of you walk over to the white ball.

“Lean down like you’re about to hit the ball.”

You do just that, Murph looks around at you before leaning over. His body on top of yours causing you to lose focus. You hear him talking but your brain is fuzzy.

“Can you say that again.” You notice his hand on yours and the air in your lungs escape.

“You see how I have your fingers, makes it so the pool cue is lined right towards the middle of the ball. Now I know it hurts but you get used to it.” Murph stands up and casually smacks your ass. “Now try it!”

Your hands shake, but you manage to not skip the ball, hitting a green on into the hole. You stand up and look at the man smiling dumbly at him.

“Good job!” He grabs your shoulder and rubs it comfortably then goes and takes his turn.

The smile doesn’t leave your face as you two continue to play throughout the night at the end of it both of you are on the couch this time smoking from his bowl and watching a shitty early 2000’s movie. Except you aren’t watching the movie you instead are staring at Murph, in the same position you two were in last night except you’re on a different couch and you’re on the right this time and he’s on the left.

“I lied.” You say, breaking the silence between you and your roommate. He looks over at you with his head tilted. “I’ve never smoked before.”

“Well I knew that. Bet you would’ve smoked my shit last week, without even telling me first if you had smoked. Also you get inhaling too much. I personally was just letting you do that shit cause it was funnier seeing you suffer.” Murph smiles, you let out a sigh and change your position so you’re leaning on him like you were in the truck.

“I love this movie. What is it?”

“102 Dalmatians.”

“It’s so good. Can’t get over the bird.”

Murph snorts and leans his head on yours.

“Cannn we make some cookies?” You ask, Murph hums.

“Yeah, I want some cookies.” He gets up and grabs your hand hauling you to your feet, then he hurries and drags you down the stairs to the fridge, getting out the chocolate chip cookie dough. Murph let’s go of your hand and turns on the oven. He then grabs a baking sheet and knife cutting pieces of dough onto it.

Your eyes focus in on the hand that was holding yours and you smile at it, thinking about him holding it again.

The oven beeps and Murph puts the cookies into it, shuts it and starts the timer.

You hold out your hand again and Murph takes it. You decide you want to sit on the floor and you do that, pulling the older man down with you, he groans like an old man, making you laugh.

“We should go to the beach tomorrow night.”

“We should.. I love the beach. Please tell me you’ve been before.” Murph looks at you with the sweetest eyes you’ve seen.

“Yeah I’ve been. I think it’ll be better with you there though. Especially at night cause then no one will be there!”

“You planning on killing me?” Murph jokes, your brows raise.

“Not at all! If I was though, your house would be in great hands!” You quip, Murph shakes head and laughs.

“Who said you were in my will?”

“Who else would be?” You retort, you look down to him playing with your fingers.

“My parents, my cousins, my friends.”

“Well I’m your friend!”

Murph nods. “Yeah, you are. I guess I should write you in then.”

“Hell yeah!” You raise your other hand and smack his chest instead of one of his occupied hands. The timer goes off and Murph lets go to get the cookies out.

He makes both of you wait a few minutes to cook off before handing you a few and grabbing some himself.

The two of you sit in silence for the rest of the night, it’s not an awkward one. Just being in each others presence, it was all you needed right now, it was all you needed ever. Just comfortably being next to Murph.

[foxoftheninetails]

Teehee.

Another late night post. I wrenched my back reaching for my phone charger, and now I think I might sleep on the couch so I dont exacerbate it.

So I'm watching the McElroy brothers play Super Mario World, have a heating pad pushing on my ouchies. And with Christmas coming up, lets do a teensy thought bubble.

This year has been absolutely crazy. A year ago I was negotiating a ridiculous raise at my last company, as everything fell apart around us because they had just demoted the obly other project manager. Meanwhile, my boss and the owner of the company was in South America because he doesn't like cold weather.

Now I'm unemployed, Kenna has a job, and I've spent most of the year playing video games and napping. No job prospects as of now, but who knows what this week holds.

We used our tax return money to fund a dream trip to Japan. We got a whole house to ourselves, finally got passports, registered for the train pass, and planned so many things.

We skipped the trip because I couldn't hold my anxiety in check after opening up the Pandora's box of emotional mess that is me. And neither of us regrets it. We haven't complained that we missed out. Other than the loss of money (almost the whole fucking trip sadly) were good with it.

Now onto my all time favorite subject. My friends.

This year, I reaffirmed my love for many old friends, and got closer with a few. I lost a couple to differences of opinions, and I just can't bring myself to be broken hearted. They have hate in their heart, I just can't. Finally, I met people who changed my whole world.

Last year, I got to attend a friends wedding and meet him for the first time, and I thought I was going to die. We had a wonderful time, and the warmth of the hugs I got changed me forever.

Earlier this year, I befriended my beloved Oat. I have a friend that I can bullshit with, who can somehow get me talling about the deepest stuff, who makes me feel heard and felt. She helped me with so much, including my mental health, relationship help, self confidence, and my streaming. Oat, I think you'll see this. I need you on my stream again soon, I miss you! Forehead kisses!

Then in August, while streaming some batshit crazy stuff (encouraged as always by Oat! < 3) I got raided. I figured cool, another Zelda streamer, maybe we can help each other out. Tch, to underestimate something so drastically. Not only did she inspire me to up my streaming game, Rachine collabs with me, has brought me tons of followers, workshops streams and tech issues with me (sometimes live on air) and most importantly, become one of my closest, dearest friends. She pushed me to play some of her favorite games, and brought me back to FFXIV. She encourages me and inspires me to try new things. (And yes, you're always right).

She also let me join her FC, and opened up a whole new world of friends. I have befriended some of the warmest, kindest people who went out of their way to make me feel welcome. They run dungeons, they answered questions, they carried my ass.

Finally, Jengo (who is not online other than streaming. Purest of us.) Who is part of Rachine's FC. She was the first one to essentially insist I run a dungeon with her, she made time for me to walk me through my combos, has mentored my climbing skills, answers more questions than anyone.

All of them also sit in VC with me when I'm having anxiety or breakdowns, support me when I doubt, encourage me. They are my family and I just...

Look, I know I dont shut up about them. This isn't a grab for brownie points, it's not attention. Its me workshopping how to express my deep love and gratitude to them without making them uncomfortable or laying it on too thick. Maybe they never read this, maybe they never have to put up with it for the fifth time this week. How do you properly express it to them? Telling someone you love them only gets me so far. Even with Kenna. After 17 years, saying I love you doesnt feel like the proper way to tell her shes my world.

As I regularly talk about, I am not a brief person. I am almost pathologically incapable of keeping any kind of explanation short. After a certain point, a 60 paragraph diatribe on how important someone is gets tired. I love my friends.

Its been an up and down year, but I have to say I wouldnt trade it for anything. I need those people in my life, because I am a gigantic baby and the alternative is I have internet access and no friends. That would be worse than what you have to read now.

To my friends: thank you. I love you. Happy holidays. Thank you.

[thecranekick]

stop i am not done i'm going batshit crazy rn and i'm probably the last to connect these dots lmaooo

they went out of their way to make sure we never saw ponytail in a typical military uniform, which would’ve had his last name on the name tag, at which point we would’ve known that it was lawrence if he’s johnny’s dad OMG!!!  it would also explain why kreese felt so responsible to make johnny his "star" student and why he feels so ~fatherly~ or whatever (even if it's in a messed-up way) because johnny would literally be his namesake. kreese blames himself for ponytail's death because kreese wasn’t as cold/"tough" as his mentor to detonate the tnt, so that’s why kreese is such an asshole trying to make these kids (especially johnny) emotionless and ruthless because of his own trauma (which we knew already, but if ponytail is connected to johnny that makes it so much more poignant).  and like ponytail naming his son after his best friend :(  that doesn’t explain why kreese talked to silver about johnny saying “he even has the same name as me,” because wouldn't they have known about little johnny? johnny was already like 4ish and clearly remembered his dad then (or knew of him, having saved his stuff), and wouldn’t ponytail have probably kept a picture with him and told them all about his son, especially if johnny was named after kreese?  unless for some reason kreese didn’t find out he was ponytail’s son until after he met little johnny when he joined cobra kai, and found out his last name and presumably talked to laura or sid at some point??? and laura probably told them both to not say anything ever (and maybe even lied to sid about what really happened)?????? also. little johnny saying "the good guys always win," knowing his dad was in the military at that age playing with little military men, believing his dad was one of the ‘good guys’ until laura and sid turned it around on him and tried to erase his existence and make johnny believe that he was some piece of shit guy that left because he didn’t want/love johnny……….now his whole life he’s had the rhetoric of unwanted/unloved/unnurtured playing in his head that was a big part of who he became and ultimately caused a rift with his own child in the future, among other things, like i am literally SICK please i want to hug him so bad 

every time i think about the theory of ponytail being johnny's dad i honestly shed a tear because like. how much more fucked up would it be if johnny's been living this narrative he's been fed his whole life, living and coping and relating to life as if his dad left and is a piece of shit deadbeat dad that didn't love, want, or consider him, when the truth is that he died (with kreese and silver there mind you)??? he convinced himself he couldn't be the father he thought robby needed because he never had the one he needed, and the whole time it's been kept from him that his dad went to war and died like?????

[bratz-kitten]

questions i have for the signs

libra suns – do you learn a lot from observing other people’s behaviours? because libras do so well in group settings, and they value their emotional intelligence and ability for being likeable a lot. once, a libra sun man came up to me and just told me that he learned a lot of his behaviours from observing others and that’s how he learned better coping mechanisms/better ways of expressing himself and his emotions. at first, i found that absolutely preposterous because as someone who’s always focused so much on my own individuality and authenticity, the thought of taking aspects from other people just repulsed me, but the more i think about it, the more it makes sense – after all, there’s so much to learn from others and since observational skills are so important, why not use them to better ourselves?

also, to my libra suns once again – how the hell have you managed to build a reputation for being stable and peaceful? i swear every libra i’ve ever met was absolutely unstable – the type to throw their phones on the wall during arguments, to randomly go up to me and start psychoanalysing me, to immediately go confrontational mode no matter if they were in the middle of class, simply because they couldn’t leave shit unresolved. i’ve noticed your tendency for playing devil’s advocate in every situation in the name of “fairness” has you being VERY confrontational. it’s kinda refreshing not gonna lie.

now, ladies.. have we noticed how misogynistic cancer sun men can be or am i losing my mind? i swear to god i’ve never met ONE in my life who didn’t have extremely sexist opinions. even the ones who seem like great people and who get along with everybody – they still think that girls who sleep around casually have no self-respect and that sex workers are disgusting. also, hating on girls for doing the buss it challenge and for posting pictures where they’re showing skin and feeling themselves? saying they’re sluts? as if they’re not the same men who click on those videos? not only the misogynist part, but also extreme anger issues that come out at the most unexpected times. i believe it’s their traditionalist views and their hatred for their own femininity that has them projecting their insecurities onto other women. either way, cancer men terrify me. perhaps it’s that my father’s a cancer and he’s the blueprint of all terrible men in my life, or perhaps cancer men really are batshit crazy. either way, please change my mind lol there are probably some good ones out there but my experience has me believing otherwise

pisces mars – (18+) do you get pleasure from simply pleasuring your partner? i do this and i feel like it’s to a point where it’s toxic, every time i’m the one receiving i’ll be thinking about how i could be using this time to pleasure them instead, even if it feels really good. i don’t know what it is but the act of knowing i’m making someone feel good feels 1000 times better than everything else, it feels my soul and i think it’s a pisces mars thing. it’s crazy because it’s only in sexual matters, in day-to-day basis i’m very assertive but in bed i’m extremely submissive and just want to fulfil all of my partner’s needs. do you also have very intricate sexual fantasies that you’re constantly thinking about? also, are you masoquistic? i’ve seen other pisces mars talking about this, about how they get off on pain a lot and it makes me feel less alone. it might also relate to lilith in the 12th house because it indicates mixing pain with pleasure + escapism through fantasies + some very extreme fetishes like r*pe-play. let’s start this discussion lol

leo placements – how does it feel like being the baddest bitches alive? serious answers only. also stop making me fall in love with you it’s annoying

capricorn/scorpio suns, do you gravitate a lot towards one another? im a capricorn and i attract a lot of scorpio placements, and scorpios are the people who bring me the most intense personal transformations. it’s also definitely because i have scorpio in the 8th, but either way, i feel like these two signs attract each other like crazy because they’re the darkest signs. scorpio simbolizes death while capricorn simbolizes the devil, they’re both so difficult, complex and drawn to dark topics that i feel like it’s a match made in heaven – or hell. i’ve also observed that the most powerful power-couples in media are always relationships between capricorns and scorpios, too.

moon in the 10th house natives – do people baby you a lot? i feel like i’ll just be walking down the streets and my friends will be screaming at me to be careful like i’m a 5 year old, or offering to do things for me, or feeling an inherent need to supervise me as if i’ll get in deep shit if i’m left alone for more than 5 minutes LOL but i do think it’s something about this placement. moon in the 10th indicates being very emotional and getting easily overwhelmed, also a lot of charisma and being very sensitive when it comes to personal relationships. also the way we radiate authority makes others unconsciously be more obedient towards our needs, and we have a very strong need to protect others and create a family within our friend groups, which might be creating these dynamics.

leo suns/moons/risings – do you feel like having a low self-esteem quite literally contributes to the deterioration of your physical health? i think there’s such a stark difference between when you’re feeling insecure and in an unhealthy relationship vs when you leave the toxicity behind and work on your self-confidence, there’s an immediate glow up, like you’re literally glowing and it shows.

gemini suns – why do so many people hate you? even people who know nothing about astrology will say they hate geminis. genuine question because geminis are one of my favorite signs. i think it’s something about the way you easily adapt to other people’s personalities and mirror their energy, so you’ve built this reputation for being two-faced when you’re literally just.. socially intelligent.

air moons – how tf can you turn your emotions off? what do you mean using logic instead of feelings i will literally unalive myself

capricorn moons – how does it feel like having healthy coping mechanisms? oh wait, it’s not like you’d know LMFAOOOO

scorpio mars – are you as sexual as people portray you to be or do you feel a bit weird about the way people talk about you? because people always talk about scorpio mars as this sex machines, but like.. scorpio’s a water sign. very sensitive. i’ve noticed you guys literally avoid having sex with people because it’s like giving them a part of your soul, and you know you’ll get extremely attached to them afterwards. is sex a casual thing for you or can you only feel satisfied when there’s an emotional connection established? this goes for all water sign mars by the way.

scorpio risings – do you only listen to music that you feel has a deep meaning? my brother is a scorpio rising and he prides himself a lot on his music taste and how deep the music he listens to is. and as an aries rising im just like.. sir i listen to doja cat because hearing her sing about sex and fat tiddies makes me happy

[giorno-plays-piano]

Vicious

Part IV

Pairing: Steve x reader, Bucky x reader, Thor x reader, Loki x reader, Peter x reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, stalking, possessiveness, theft, all characters are adults.

Words: 1880.

Summary: Transferring to Stark Academy that has only allowed to take in female students last semester, you realize you are just one of three young women among hundreds of students. Your things are constantly being stolen, and soon you begin fearing for your safety.

Part I

Part II

Part III

_________

After you came back to your room, you got a message from Steve about changing the locks on both you door and your locker. You were so taken aback by today's conversation in the student council room that you had completely forgotten about it. Apparently, Steve had already requested the change of locks on your behalf through email, and you were really grateful to him for that: you dreaded coming back to the room that had been forced open. Of course, tonight you would have to move your dresser to the door so that nobody could enter when you'd be sleeping.

Shit. It was absolutely crazy.

"I'm not sure about all this, Steve." You texted him while laying on your bed and staring at your phone in the darkness of the room. "It doesn't seem right."

Naturally, you meant the fake dating thing. It felt horrible thinking of what others would think after seeing you with five different guys. Would they be calling you a whore in the open? Make some nasty jokes behind your back? Report you to the school administration for immoral behavior? Remembering those bigots from the student office, you cringed at the thought.

Besides, it still didn't make sense to you why you had to date all five. Sure, if they were around you at all times like your friends, these unhinged bastards who stole your things wouldn't do anything funny again, but it wasn't like that. What could one guy do against a group of other students?

"Listen, I didn't want to talk about it in class, but I'm worried it won't end with a stolen lingerie."

You didn't like his message.

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean. They might attempt something much worse than a theft."

Oh no. Was he talking about rape? Seriously? Did he anticipate others were so crazy they would do something like that?

But then again, girls were being raped in colleges even if it weren't the all-boys schools. A shiver ran down your spine.

"But if several people attack me, just one of you won't be enough." You typed with your shaky fingers, trembling beneath your blanket.

"It's not about the pure force. Each of us has a certain reputation, and others wouldn't want to cross us over because of it."

Wait, this was interesting. What on Earth did he mean? What kind of reputation was that to prevent people from messing with them?

"Thor is a good athlete and a great leader, his basketball team is ready to beat people to death for him."

"Loki's father is one of academy’s main sponsors, and he can have this school turned upside down if he wants to."

"Bucky is a threat by himself, but he also have a company of loyal friends."

"I don't think Peter is serious enough to scare anyone, but with his computer skills he could easily blackmail others, I’ve already seen him doing it. Students would be wary to cross him over just like any of us."

Steve was writing you a bunch of messages with a terrifying speed, and you could barely read the first when he was already sending you the second. It felt absolutely insane. Did he choose every guy because the more powerful admirers you have, the less others would intervene? Well, at least in case of Bucky and Thor who could beat people to near death, it was wise. You preferred not to think of Peter - you had no idea someone as sweet and caring as him did something as disgusting as a blackmail.

“But what others will think? 5 boyfriends? Others will think you are dating-” you paused, chewing your lips to bit, “- a whore. Nobody gonna stood up for me.”

"Imagine if each of us tells our friends that other four guys were just asked to watch over you, but you date only one.”

Oh. Yes, this was slightly better. Then you wouldn’t have to do something as bold as kissing every guy in public, instead maintaining the mystery who you were really dating. 

Damn, how Steve even came up with this plan? Why was everything so complicated?

“It’s getting late. Good night.” Your phone vibrated again, and you huffed with irritation. You hoped you could ask him a bit more - about what you were going to do with the thieves Steve found, for example - but he was probably getting tired with all your questions. It was better to ask him tomorrow.

___________________

The next morning you were restless: since you were starting to going out with guys, you felt like you needed to look better than you usually were, so you spent your morning working on your hair and makeup. It was like fake dating, right? You had to pretend you wanted to look pretty for them.

What else did you have to do? Cook something sweet for them? Yeah, probably, but not at the start of your relationship. Going to cafe together? Helping each other study? Loki also mentioned the cinema...

You felt dumb. Of course, you dated guys before, but now you realized you had no idea how to act not to cause any suspicion. Oh boy, it was going to be a tough day.

Thor nocked at you door thirty minutes before your first session, but you woke up so early you were more than ready to go. As you opened the door, first moving the dresser back to its place, the guy looked at you with a puzzled expression on his face.

"Hey, what was that?"

"The dresser. I can't leave the door just like that until the lock is changed."

He blinked at you, watching the door and then probably remembering somebody forced the lock open to steal your underwear.

"These guys are batshit crazy." He mumbled and nodded you to go with him, putting his hand on your shoulder. "Don't worry, they won't do it again."

You wanted to argue they definitely would, but, seeing his warm smile, you thought Thor simply wanted to cheer you up and smiled at him in return. In the end, he was here only to make you feel safer: you didn't doubt he was very popular with the girls every time he went out to the city.

"You look great today!" He said sheepishly, walking in the dorm's corridor while other students were staring at him silently, obviously surprised to see you two together. "I mean, not that you looked bad yesterday, I just..."

Watching his face suddenly getting crimson red, you couldn't help but giggle at his expression. You could never think Thor was actually bashful around girls. Yeah, at your old place he'd definitely be one of the most popular guys around.

It was lunch time when you two could actually talk, sitting together at the same table and being watched by everyone around. Strangely, with Thor constantly talking and often rubbing your hand with his, it didn't feel suffocating, and you held your head high: regardless whether those pricks were looking at you, you weren't going to run away to your room and cry there like a little girl. Loki was right: you weren't a silly little sheep, scared of your own shadow. You wouldn't let anyone spoil your time in the academy you dreamt studying in.

Funny enough, Thor turned out to be a talkative type when he was speaking about basketball and his team in particular. He loved sports: while you were more into hockey, the way he talked was so enthusiastic it made you listen to him with a genuine interest. Thor's love for basketball was infectious.

He seemed a simple man, this giant bag of muscles who was laughing so loud people around him flinched; Thor wasn't the exact type of a guy you would encounter on your own, but he seemed nice, sincere, and surprisingly softhearted. You felt at ease talking to him, and soon you too acted like you'd known each other for long.

It was a pity you'd only met under this circumstances. It felt like you two could became friends.

But then when Thor absent-mindedly put his arm around your shoulders, you remembered Loki's warning: they would try to gain your favors. Was it the reason Thor was so nice to someone he just met? Wasn't it suspicious of him? You couldn't let your guard down after just one lunch together. In fact, you knew nothing of the man sitting in front of you.

"I knew something like would happen." Some guy to your left sighed loudly, catching your attention. "They were fucking crazy."

"I'm not surprised either. I just wanna know who they got in a fight with to be beaten like that. Have you heard they broke Gray's both legs?"

"Woah, both? That's brutal, man."

You shivered, trying not to listen to them.

"It'd happen sooner or later anyway. They were completely wild."

A word caught your attention right away: that was what Steve called those students who were stealing your things. Could it be a coincidence? Surely, in an all-boys school the students were fighting each other constantly.

But to the point of breaking both legs of someone? Really?

As you sent Thor a nervous look, he gently patted your shoulder, lowering his voice so no one would hear him, "I'm sure it's nothing to do with you. These things happen here from time to time because the guys have no idea what to do with all that testosterone."

You hoped he was right.

The rest of the day went as usual aside from Thor walking the corridors with you and chatting about sports: he managed to convince you to come see the game next month when they would be having a tournament. You were grateful to him for helping to ease your mind because the news of guys being sent to the ambulance made you shook. Steve also mentioned something about his and other's friends ready to beat anyone to death, right?

By the middle of your last class you couldn't think of it any longer and quickly typed a message to Loki. Of all people, right now he seemed the most sincere to you.

"Hi. Are the guys who were beaten last night are the ones who stole my things?"

Waiting was a special torture when you held the phone in your arms beneath your desk, hoping to see your screen lighting up with a message. In five minutes you got your reply.

"Yes." The message said simply, but it was enough for you to stare at your phone with horror, wishing you didn't ask Loki anything.

Oh shit. It wasn't a coincidence, right? It's impossible. Somebody did it on purpose. But who of the five?

"Do you know who did it?"

Next time he answered pretty fast, "No."

A part of you felt relieved. Maybe it wasn't related, finally. Maybe they got beaten by somebody who was fed up with their attitude because they were crazy as the guys in the cafeteria said.

But what if it weren't true?

"Who's the most brutal among you five?"

Biting your lips, you started rocking in your chair a little, making the guy on your left to roll his eyes in irritation.

The phone's screen flashed again.

"Barnes."

Part V

_________

Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki   ​@helenaeisenhower @villanellevi @hurricanerin ​@inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @navegandoaciegas @rosalynshields @brattycherub @sllooney @angrythingstarlight @lookiamtrying @buckysbunny @soleil-dor @stargazingfangirl18 @dillybuggg @literate-lamb @cosicas-cuquis @sarge-barnes-sir @buckybarnesplumwhore @jaysayey @megzdoodle @gotnofucks @lux-ravenwolf @ximebebx @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @sourpatchspinster @biiskuitx @iheartsebandchris @lovelydarkdaydream @illyrianprincess @vampirestrawberries @stupendouslovegardener @goodgodimaweirdperson @frontmanash @freya-heya @yandematic

[stylistiquements]

Day 1 : Soap Bubbles.

𐐪𐑂 Pairing : Sapnap x fem!reader {Playlist}

𐐪𐑂 Summary : You're being introduce to the internet in a peculiar way, it's up to you to decide what you're going to do with it.

𐐪𐑂 Word count : 1.4k | W: written part underneath

𐐪𐑂 Warning : very few swears

Masterlist | Previous | Next

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・　　 .・゜゜・　　・゜゜・

The coffee that sinks inside your stomach brings out a grimace and a click of your tongue where the taste stains; too bitter, too acidic but you’ll drink it anyway and to the last drop; there is something about the idea of spending time with three best friends that is so made of spring and honey that you wish to miss none of it.

“Someone is lurking,” George contemplates out loud, and the call goes silent for a second as if to look for the intruder. And it would so easy to flinch, to hit the back pedal, because you almost feel like one being exposed front stage like that. But today- today is not that day.

It's not that you don't want to join the discussion, it's that it takes a second to warm up, to absorb the energy and become one with it.

And sometimes, all it takes is Sapnap to exclaim, “Panini head, my beloved!” for your smile synchronizes with his chuckles. Somehow, once noticed by the right person, life flows back naturally.

George and Dream greets you in trailing unison, like two kids forced to greet their unwelcomed aunt on a sunday afternoon.

“H-hey troublemakers,” you finally say. Your voice is still quiet, not reluctant, but rather uncertain. It doesn't bother anyone.

“I’m beating Dream’s ass at chess and he’s bitter,” Sap explains, and you silently nod, as if they were able to see you.

A long silence follows along, rythmed by clicks of mouses and keyboards and it falls in your ears like high droplets. It's comfortable. It's intimate, shared with friends only.

"We haven't heard from you in a while," Dream says. "I mean ... before the clout fiasco."

You wouldn't exactly call it a fiasco, even though you don't really like the idea of being perceived a little too closely from the eyes of twitter.com, but you do agree anyway, "I've been caught up on college essays lately."

"That sucks," George probably adds.

“Good thing you’re here, then,” Dream notes, simple as a breath. “This is a worry-free zone.”

It hovers for a second, carried by George’s approval hum.

You squint suspiciously, detective mode, at the profile pictures that light on and off before your eyes, “Thanks, dream.”

He scoffs a “sure” and you’re not sure why you sense a bit of irony stuck on the back of his teeth. You're so tempted to call him out, but you don't. Instead, you write a mental note of this odd moment.

“It’s because I told him about your three brothers and now he’s scared they’re gonna find him and kick his ass,” Sap explains as if he just read your mind.

Sometimes, there’s this thing in the air, though you’re miles away. Something like a connection. There’s this thing when you don’t need to talk for Sap to understand. Sharing one brain cell, you dismiss ironically. Probably coincidences and predictability, but it always sounds a little special, a little like something you’d wish to be out of this world, like morning dew and fairy circles. And it makes you feel safe, at home, just like snuggling up in the sheets during a stormy night. Your smile washes up the sleeve of your hoodie, covered palm carefully hiding your chuckles.

“Three older brothers,” George muses, and there’s no telling if it’s something meant for you to hear. “That’s kinda scary.”

“You better be scared, one of them is probably your FBI agent,” you tease mindlessly, though there's nothing scary about those three grown men.

“I’m British, Bunny,” he points out. Whether the exasperation in his tone is fake or genuine, that, you can’t tell, but you play it cool, grin carved so deep it almost hurts. Dream’s wheezes rise and fall in the background.

“Say that to his face then,” you outbid smirkingly after a second of silence, heels growing into the carpet to make your chair spin slowly left and right, so breezily.

“I’d praise you for the rest of my life if you-Oooooooh your ass is wacked. Your ass is so wacked, dude. You fucked up so bad,” Sapnap chokes out between strings of giggles.

“Oh no, my streamer is losing his game?” You theatrically pout. “My streamer Dreamwastaken, have you met him? Guess you don’t need any of my brothers to kick your ass.”

“Okay yeah- no- it’s not my fault if your- they’re distracting me, okay?” Dream defends.

Slowly, the energy lowers again and the call remembers peace as Dream admits defeat.

“I’m not playing against you anymore,” he mumbles through greeted teeth, your hoodie shelters a muffled giggle. “Let’s talk about y/n’s twitter fame instead.”

“Let’s just not-” you mutter, both because seeing Dream lose at something is a miracle that has to be witnessed once and because you’re somewhat reluctant. “Let’s just not talk about that.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. I had no idea it would draw this much attention to you,” Sap admits.

“Well, you talk about her all the time it was only a matter of time before twitter finds out,” George taunts and you secretly smile, listening to the way your best friend tries to defend himself, mind flooded with the last memories you have of when you were able to see those chuckles for real.

“Yeah, Quackity already told me you guys talk behind my back,” you fakely muse. “That’s totally fine, I don’t wanna know what you guys are talking about at all.” It’s a lie, obviously, the idea creeps upon your mind with assumptions you can’t quite get a grip of nor let go.

“You and Quackity talk?’ Sapnap asks, hint of surprise, and you hum.

“Or rather, he talks to me. He keeps calling-.” Shit. The forsaken word traps itself into your mouth. It’s too silly anyway.

“Come on, just say it,” Dream pushes as if he knew too much, more than you even do, and your cheeks flush mindlessly. You don’t notice.

“Dream, quit it!” You demand.

“Quit what?”

“You talk as if you knew more than anyone did.”

“Maybe I just do,” he coos, so dream-like.

Oblivious or careless, Sapnap asks, “Is Quackity bothering you or something?”

“He-" you begin but stop to look for the right way to put it, "He triggers my flight or fight response.”

"I mean, duh," Sapnap probably rolls his eyes.

"But I like him. He's funny."

After a second of silence, George says, “Well that was unexpected.”

“Not so much, I think we’re both chaotic neutral people.”

“What is that neutral chaotic thing anyway?” Dream is confused.

Roll up your sleeve girl boss because now is your time to shine! You offer your best dream smp alignment chart to the classroom. They're speechless, but they listen carefully.

"Then you're more chaotic good than neutral. You're too sweet anyway," Sap says.

"I'd even say lawful good," George debates.

"That's because you haven't seen Bunny during her crazy cat hour."

"True," you note.

"She'll go absolutely batshit."

“What?" George burst between confusion and surprise. "We've never seen you like that."

"A lady never reveal her secrets," you retort. No one answer.

It leaves a second for your mind to enjoy peace. For your eyes to lay on c!tubbo on lawful good and think true, then on c!dream on chaotic evil and think also very true. You huff and it's like a wave; as sarcasm leaves your breath, an idea comes in.

"Sap, check your DMs," you request.

Surrounded by the evening lull, Sapnap’s laugh pops like soap bubbles, "God, you’re so stupid. Why can't you just marry me?"

“So, is it Sapnap approved?” You chuckle lightly to prevent Sapnap’s morning fresh laugh to fill your chest and leak everywhere.

“Just press ‘send tweet’ please,” he confirms with leftovers of a smile in his voice.

"George, get me out of here. They're doing it again," Dream whines.

"Doing what?" He asks, unbothered.

"Act like they're alone in the convo. Just get a room." And you don't get to stand up for yourself that you and your best friend are actually sent to another room.

"Well this one is chaotic evil confirmed," you mumble as you roll your eyes but the vibes are much peaceful, much more comfortable in here. "So ... hi."

"Hi," he chuckles in return.

Maybe that's for the best; a moment that needs to stay a little timeless, secretive and special. It hasn't happened in so long, you don't even remember the last time it did.

"I'm glad you're here. I miss you, you know?" He says, and it's hard to not feel so bittersweet about it. It's hard when longing involves a craved touch, a real smile and an eye contact. Your shoulder sinks in the chair a little harder.

"I miss you too. I'll be here soon," you promise. And soon couldn't come any sooner.

But the conversation, soft and free, will wash up any worries, as always, and you'll end up talking about everything and nothing, about streams and planned videos and college and god knows what. As long as it makes the two of you happy and smiling. Just like the old days, you'll both think and it's fair to say until the evening turns into night and night turns into fatigue.

"Are you sure you're okay about that clout?" He asks once again. "I know you don't like being exposed like that."

"Yeah, yeah don't worry too much about it. I'll try to make good use of it."

"I'm sure you will," he murmurs, but oh boy did he not know what was about to come until you two meet.

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・　　 .・゜゜・　　・゜゜・

Taglist : @open-minded-chip-101 ; @itsoakaa ; @gaysludge

A/N : so first of all it has come to my attention that 129 days from now on is actually my birthday so that's a weird coincidence lol. Hi how are you guys?? welcome to the first part I hope you liked it. I'm fairly new to the mcyt community and that's the first time I write for them, so bear with me. Feedbacks are always appreciated. Until next time (ɔˆ ³(ˆ⌣ˆc)

[elliesguitarstrings]

Just Friends

Masterlist

Pairing: Tom Holland x Actress!Reader

Summary: You and Tom haven’t seen each other since filming Uncharted, and you decide to surprise him at his Jimmy Kimmel interview. Although you’ve always been “just friends,” you can’t help but think there’s something more.

A/N: Hey y’all sorry it’s been a few days since I last posted, I’ve just been super stressed with school and stuff, but I actually really like this fic and I hope you guys like it too!

Warnings: Language, fluff, angst if you squint

WC: 2.4k

~~~~~~~~

It’s been months since you and Tom last saw each other in person.

While filming Uncharted, the two of you had become extremely close, hanging out in each other’s trailers and spending all of your free time together. In such a short period, you had become best friends, but neither of you could deny the spark of something more. Unfortunately, the two of you never got to explore that spark because of the short time limit. After wrapping, you and Tom went your separate ways, him to Atlanta to film Spiderman 3, and you back to your hometown for a well-deserved break.

That doesn’t mean you two haven’t stayed in contact though. You and Tom have texted and facetimed almost every day since you parted ways, or as much as his busy filming schedule allows. Throughout this time, however, you never seemed to discuss the obvious love connection between you two. Without actually speaking about it, you both seemed to agree that that conversation would be better to have in person.

This bring us to today, where Tom is backstage at Jimmy Kimmel, anxiously waiting for his interview segment of the show. He picks up his phone and decides to text you before he goes on to settle his nerves, wishing you were here to comfort him in person.

T: Are you watching the show yet?

Y: yep I already have my tv turned to abc! are you going on soon?

T: Yeah, I’m so nervous though

Y: why? you’ve been on the show before and you’re like amazing at interviews

T: Idk, Jimmy just said “be ready for a surprise” and he looked really suspicious so I’m scared

T: I just hope they don’t bring like Jennifer Aniston out or something because I would totally freeze and make a fool out of myself

Y: lmao that would be kinda funny tho, but I’m sure you have nothing to worry about

T: Okay we’ll see haha

T: Gtg I’m on in 10, I’ll facetime you after I’m done!

Y: kk, good luck tommy :)

T: Ahh thank you!!

What Tom doesn’t know is that you are ten times more nervous than him. While he’s under the impression that you’re sitting on your living room couch watching the show, you are actually in the dressing room down the hall from him.

Last month, when Tom told you he was going to be on Jimmy Kimmel to promote Cherry, you had the idea to surprise him. You emailed Jimmy not expecting a response, but to your surprise, he actually emailed you back and loved your idea.

So, here you are, waiting backstage and shaking with anticipation to surprise Tom. To be completely honest, you’re even more nervous now that you know Tom is expecting some big star like Jennifer Aniston, who you know has always been his biggest celebrity crush. But nonetheless, you shake off the nerves as best as you can, just hoping everything goes well.

“Please welcome our first guest… Tom Holland everyone!” you hear Jimmy’s voice over the speaker in your dressing room.

Now that Tom is on stage, you can safely leave the room without him seeing you, and you head to the side stage, waiting for your cue.

Tom and Jimmy talk about Cherry for a few minutes, and you can’t help but admire him. His voice, his face, his outfit, everything about him is just perfect. And even better, he’s here in person, closer than he’s been to you in a long time. It takes every ounce of self-control in you to stop yourself from running onstage and hugging him now. ‘Only a minute longer,’ you tell yourself.

“So, other than Cherry, what other upcoming projects are you working on?” Jimmy inquires onstage.

Almost there…

“Well, as most of you know,” Tom addresses the audience, “I’m filming Spiderman 3 right now, which has been going brilliantly. It’s definitely going to be the best one of all the Spiderman movies I’ve done. And I just wrapped on a film called Uncharted a few months ago in Berlin, which was so much fun.”

“Ooh, Uncharted, tell us more about that!"

“Yeah, well it’s based on the video game, and I play the main character, Nathan Drake, who’s on a quest throughout the film. It’s a lot like Spiderman in a way, with all the stunts and stuff, and I think it’s going to turn out great, I can’t wait to see it finished.”

“That sounds like a lot of fun! And if I’m not mistaken, you seem to have met a certain Y/N Y/L/N while filming?”

“Oh, Y/N, yeah, she’s great,” he starts to gush, and you immediately smile, “we became friends super fast, and I miss her so much. I wish she could be here right now, but she’s watching from home actually, so hey Y/N!” he looks directly at the camera and waves, as if he’s waving to you through the screen.

That’s your cue. You tiptoe onstage behind Tom, trying your best to shush the immediate gasps from the audience.

“Well Tom,” Jimmy smiles, “I think your wish may have come true.”

“Huh?” Tom looks around, confused, until his eyes land on you, and he completely freezes.

“Hey Tom,” you smile.

“Y/N! Holy shit! You’re here, you’re actually here!” he exclaims, not caring that he just cursed on live TV.

Tom immediately springs off the couch and sprints to you, arms outstretched. As soon as he reaches you, he picks you up in a tight hug and spins you around, both of you laughing. He sets you down, but still keeps you in a tight embrace, not pulling away until neither of you can breathe. He steps backwards to take you in, still trying to fathom that you’re actually here, with him, after all this time.

“Y/N, wha-, how? I thought you were at your house!” Tom can barely form a sentence, smiling wider than ever and completely out of breath.

“Eh, my house was boring. I thought it would be more fun here with you,” you smile.

He pulls you in again, whispering, “I missed you so fucking much.”

“You have no idea,” you whisper back, resting your forehead on his.

The two of you lock eyes, and for a moment, it’s like you are the only two people in the world. You both start to lean in, lips almost touching, when Jimmy interjects.

“Alright, you two, while that was very sweet, we do still have the rest of the show to get through, so why don’t you come sit down,” Jimmy laughs, bringing you and Tom back to reality.

“Right, of course,” Tom responds, trying his best to keep cool in front of the audience.

Tom ushers you to the couch, keeping one hand on the small of your back as he follows you. He keeps his arm around you when you sit, staying as close to you as possible without raising any more suspicions from the audience.

“So, you two, huh?” Jimmy smirks.

“What? Oh, no, Jimmy, we- we’re just friends,” you laugh trying your best to hide the obvious blush on your cheeks.

“I don’t know, that seemed like a little more than just friend behavior to me over there,”

“What do you expect, I haven’t seen her in half a year!” Tom exclaims, saving you from more embarrassment.

“Okay, okay, fine. Just friends,” he turns to the camera and winks, earning laughs from the audience.

“Anyways Y/N, we already talked about Tom, so tell us about you! How was your experience filming Uncharted?” thankfully, Jimmy moves on.

“Well, up until this point I had only really done small indie films, so it was definitely a major change. But Tom was so nice in helping me and it actually turned out to be such an amazing experience, probably the most fun I’ve ever had filming a movie…”

You go on for a few more minutes, talking to Jimmy about your role in Uncharted and your career in general, exchanging small glances with Tom, who just sat back and listened, completely entranced by you.

“Alright, well thank you so much for coming Y/N, it was great to have you! I’m afraid I have to keep Tom for a few more minutes for our next segment, but you’ll have him all to yourself soon enough,” Jimmy smiles.

You laugh, “Thank you so much for having me Jimmy, it was such a pleasure!”

You stand up and hug both Jimmy and Tom, giving Tom a small peck on the cheek before you walk offstage, waving to the audience as you leave.

You smile all the way back to your dressing room, completely overjoyed that you were successful in surprising Tom. As soon as you sat down on the small couch, not even two minutes after you walked offstage, your phone starts blowing up with notifications.

You see that your best friend texted you, so you check that first.

BFF: so you and tom huh? girl why didn’t you tell me?????

Y: what no???

Y: we’re just friends!!

BFF: that’s not what literally all of twitter thinks

Y: wdym? they don’t know anything

BFF: go check rn, i’m telling you they’re going batshit crazy over you two

You check Twitter and immediately see the fans already going crazy over you and Tom.

“just friends”????? bullshit did y’all see the way they almost KISSED?????

TOM AND Y/N I SHIP I SHIP I SHIP

did y’all see the way tom looked at y/n? he’s totally in love omg

UGH I’M SO JEALOUS AKSDHJSAHDSHD I WANT TO BE Y/N SO BAD

they’re so cute help omg

THE WAY Y/N FLEW OUT TO CALIFORNIA JUST TO SURPRISE TOM??? JUST FRIENDS MY ASS

Were you really being that obvious? You quickly call your friend, looking for some advice on what to do, and she picks up right away.

“Okay you were right, they’re going absolutely insane,” you start.

“I mean what do you expect y’all almost kissed on live tv!”

“Shut up.”

“Come onnnnn Y/N, I know you like him and he obviously likes you too so just talk to him! You already know that you two would be the cutest fucking couple ever. Plus you already have the approval of twitter what more could you need?”

You laugh, but you’re still hesitant.

“I don’t know, what if he doesn’t like me back?

“HE. ALMOST. KISSED. YOU. ON. LIVE. FUCKING. TELEVISON. I THINK HE LIKES YOU BACK BITCH!”

“Okay first of all we didn’t almost kiss, and second of all I don’t want to ruin our friendship. Plus how would I even tell him?”

“Okay YES YOU DID ALMOST KISS! And this isn’t middle school! Just tell him how you feel.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Think about what?”

You whip around and see Tom standing at your dressing room door.

“Fuck I gotta call you back,” you whisper, quickly hanging up the phone.

You turn back to Tom, still standing in the doorway.

“How much of that did you hear?” you ask, blushing profusely.

“Um, all of it I think,” Tom looks down and you immediately start to freak out.

Tom, however, looks back up at you and smirks.

“So you like me huh?”

You stay silent for a moment, a billion thoughts running through your head. You contemplate denying it and staying just friends with Tom. But then you think back to what your best friend told you just a second ago.

“Just tell him how you feel.”

“Yeah Tom. I like you. And not as a friend. This isn’t really the way I intended on telling you, and I get if you don’t feel the same way, but the way I feel about you isn’t just platonic. There’s a connection between us that I felt since the day we met and I can’t help but think that you feel it too. And then today it just got, like, ten times stronger and I-“

Tom promptly cuts you off by cupping your jaw and placing his lips on yours, sending a rush throughout your entire body. His lips feel like heaven, moving ever so gently against yours, and again, it feels like you two are the only people on Earth. The kiss is warm and loving, and although it doesn’t last long, the moment has already been engraved in your mind for eternity.

He pulls back, looking into your eyes, making sure he hasn’t made a mistake, but you only stare back at him ten times more lovingly.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” he whispers.

“Me too,” you whisper back.

He takes your hands in his, “Y/N, I do feel that connection, and I want us to be more than just friends. I always have.”

As much as you are relieved that Tom feels the same way, you can’t help but worry.

“What about the distance? Are you sure we can handle that?”

“Of course we can,” Tom assures you, “I don’t care how far away we are from each other, I love you, and I’m never letting any amount of distance take that away.”

“But these past few months have been so hard without you, and we haven’t even been dating, I just- I don’t want to be apart from you anymore.”

“Then move in with me. Come to London and live with me!”

“Okay,” you grin.

“Wait, really?” Tom questions, taken aback.

“Yeah, why not? I mean, obviously we won’t be able to be together all the time because of our jobs, but it’ll be the closest thing.”

“Are you sure? That’s a big commitment to move that far.”

“I’m positive Tom. You’re my best friend, and now, I guess you’re my boyfriend,” you giggle, “I love you too, and I want to be with you, even if that means moving thousands of miles to London.”

Tom smiles, “You called me your boyfriend.”

“Shut up you dork, come here.”

You pull him in for another kiss, still feeling like you’re floating. Your lips once again move perfectly together, as if they’re made for each other. You’re completely consumed in him, and him in you, and in this moment, you know that he is the only one for you. In this moment, you know that you want to spend the rest of your life with him, and only him, and it’s the best feeling in the world.

~~~~~~~~

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[beansie009]

You're confusing head canon with canon.

How so? I’m assuming this is in response to this post.

Loki, throughout all of his MCU appearances, is motivated by a desire for love, praise, adulation, etc. Loki did not want the throne in the first Thor film. He admitted so himself and his actions during that movie largely support this. He even says this again during his show, leading me to further believe this is true and he wasn’t lying. Which, granted, he is known to do....

Loki wanted Odin’s approval in the first Thor film. That is what drove him throughout most of the movie. He snuck the frost giants into Asgard to postpone Thor’s coronation, not to seize the throne. Loki wanted to prove to Odin that Thor wasn’t ready yet (and he was right, sorry not sorry.) He didn’t want the throne himself. This plan succeeded, but Loki couldn’t leave well enough alone and he goaded Thor to go to Jotunheim. And we all know how well that went….

Odin rescued them, but not before Loki discovered he was Jotun. His parents never told him about his heritage because they “wanted to protect him from the truth." If they truly thought there was nothing wrong with him being Jotun, why would they have felt a need to protect him? Asgard is a prejudiced civilization. They colonized the other eight realms and, judging by their rhetoric against them, largely think themselves above them. They nonchalantly call the Jotuns monsters, compare Midgardians to goats, and refer to the Dark Elves as creatures. Thor and Loki grew up with stories of Asgard’s greatness and, for the most part, believed them for most of their lives. When young Thor proclaimed he would “hunt the monsters down and slay them all,” Odin only told him not to seek out war. He said nothing about the negative language used to describe the Jotnar, even with young Loki present. It was completely normalized.

When Loki confronted Odin about his heritage, he referred to himself as “the monster parents tell their children about at night.” That language didn't come from a vacuum and he is directing it not only at the Jotuns but at himself. When he fought Thor at the end of the film, he told him he would “destroy that race of monsters.” Loki holds a lot of self-loathing towards himself for a multitude of reasons, but I'll settle on his heritage for this post. He thinks little of the Jotnar and so thinks little of that part of himself. He blamed his heritage for his feelings of inadequacy when compared to Thor.

I would make an argument that Loki feared Thor after he learned of his heritage, too. Thor vowed to destroy all of the Jotun as a child, he wanted to “finish them together” with Odin, and he told Odin in the Bifrost that “the Jotuns must learn to fear me just as they once feared you.” I think Loki lied to Thor about Odin’s “death” to keep him from interfering with his plans for Jotunheim, but also because he was afraid of him. I can’t find the reference, but I am almost positive that Hiddleston himself confirmed this at some point of time. (Btw, I don’t think for one second Thor would have hurt him, but Loki is an emotionally stunted idiot.)

All of this leads me to be highly skeptical that Loki from Thor 1 would proclaim himself as the “rightful king of Jotunheim” and freely use the Casket of Ancient Winters in front of the Asgardian army. He was still deeply ashamed of this fact at this time and would not have wanted it known. (He supposedly overcame this by Thor 3, but I don’t think the narrative earned it. The movie told us he came to accept it enough to put it in a play, but it didn’t show us how he got to that point. Regardless, he was certainly not emotionally at that point during Thor 1.)

Also, at the very least, the Casket should have revealed his Jotun form, which it didn’t.

After he discovered his heritage, Loki’s motivation was to prove himself a worthy son of Odin by any (terrible) means necessary. In the end he failed to destroy Jotunheim and Thor destroyed the Bifrost. Even while hanging from the edge of the bridge, Loki sought Odin’s validation, which was denied. Loki was as low as he could be and he let go. He landed on Sanctuary I and Thanos found him. I’m aware there are a bunch of theories about what happened next, but I really don’t want to get into them here because that is all they are really. Theories. Nothing solidly confirmed in canon.

Regardless, something happened between Thor 1 and Avengers 1 that twisted Loki into the would-be conqueror of Midgard. That desire was born out of his anger towards Thor and Odin after Thor 1. Loki said he wanted to be king in Avengers 1, but really he wanted to exact revenge against something Thor held dear. He wanted to hurt Thor. He wanted the adulation a throne would give him. He did not think he could have Odin’s love so he would at least have Odin’s respect as a king. He wanted Odin to see that he was just as worthy of a throne as Thor and him - which is batshit crazy but so was Loki in Avengers 1. Even Coulson knew Loki didn’t know what he wanted. “You lack conviction.” A throne would never have made him happy and I think, as messed up as he was, even Thor 1 Loki realized this.

I completely believe that Thor 1 Loki would come to Earth and even seek to destroy it to avenge his brother’s death. And he was definitely unstable enough at the time to do so– see Jotunheim. Despite everything he says to the contrary, Loki loves Thor. I do not believe that when everything was settled at the end of that episode that Loki would seek to rule Earth though. He had no motivation to do so yet. That only came after he fell from the Bifrost and met Thanos. I would have believed it more if he had betrayed Fury in the end of the episode and still tried to destroy Earth, but not to rule it. Thor 1 Loki giving his Avengers 1 “you were made to be ruled” speech at the end of that episode comes across like the writers just copied and pasted their favorite moments from the movies into the show without an understanding of the motivation behind them or why those moments worked in the first place. It’s sloppy writing and in the end, disappointing, because I for one would love to see a story tackle an unstable Thor 1 Loki hell-bent on avenging his brother’s untimely demise whilst dealing with all of his other issues. I’m here for the premise, not the execution.

I would have also rather have seen HYDRA taking out the Avengers than Hank Pym. It doesn’t make sense in canon that HYDRA allowed the Avengers to form under their control. It would be in their vested interest to eliminate this threat before it would take them out. However I don't know enough about Hank Pym's character, so I'll leave this here.

I also think it was naïve of Sif to tell him that Odin wouldn’t want him to destroy Earth. When Frigga died, Odin wanted to destroy all of the Dark Elves even if that meant the destruction of Asgard. I’m on the fence about whether Loki would have halted an attack at her council. They famously dislike each other and Loki and Odin are cut from similar cloths. Would he stand down if he was that angry? Or would he heed her words since, at this time, he so desperately sought Odin’s approval? It’s food for thought....

[thedeviljudges]

yohan + physical tough + trauma response

disclaimer: this is based off of eps 1-7, and preview of ep 8; i wholeheartedly recognize that this post may become the worst meta ever depending on how the rest of the show goes. however, i do think there are still some interesting things to note about yohan. a lot of this is also me just talking shit out as i was sifting through all the eps again. i’m more than willing to change my mind or hear other thoughts.

also i kinda, sorta, unnecessarily included all of the moments of yohan and any physicality. a lot of them are not super important, but i do think they help draw a distinction in how he reactions when surprised, alone and around other people.

so, here’s a long ass post that is literally 99% me bullshitting, lmao.

so i wanted to delve more into yohan’s response to physical touch by way of trauma. while i know a lot of us have pieced it together, i think it’s pretty cool to lay it all out visually because i think there’s much more justification for his reactions; not to say it makes it right, but it does really flesh out a fundamental part of his characterization that i think is highly, highly important to understand.

yohan lives on the cusp for reckless behavior, almost as if he doesn’t care whether he lives or dies. the car chase, running through industrial buildings where safety isn’t a concern, etc.

episode one

the first time we see an instance of his disinterest in physical touch is when he first meets gaon. he actually offers him his hand, but the way he goes about it isn’t a handshake. he almost looks hesitant, and then he squeezes and does not shake. it’s truly a split second gesture out of formalities. granted, he’s just met someone he thinks looks like isaac, and might be in a little bit of… not shock, but certainly distracted.

later in the episode, yohan is in an abandoned building with homeless people. he’s checking people’s wrist, but he’s quick about leaving them alone. until, a homeless man comes up behind him and grabs him. in response, yohan swings his arm to knock him off. then, he punches him, steps on him and decides whether he’s worth the effort. again, granted, no one likes to be surprised in a creepy situation like this, so his response? kinda understandable at this point.

next is the scene where yohan catches gaon in his office, where he pushes him against the bookshelf and kinda, more or less, comes off as a bit luring. we know yohan knows gaon’s lying, but a couple of things here. yohan initiated the physical contact, and he did it because of the suspicious nature of gaon. yohan also knows how to use his power and charms to catch people off guard, and i think really, he was messing with gaon when he brushed his shirt and asked him if he lived alone. gay as fuck, lmao, but i also see it as an intimidation tactic, in a way.

i could also pose a couple of theories aside from intimidation if we wanted to squint:

yohan is still in a state of awe of gaon’s resemblance to isaac. he’s not heard his voice or been around the other man for at least 10 years, and now there’s tangibility at his fingertips.

if we want to look at it from the gay perspective, gaon is clearly intriguing to yohan, and as i’ll note further down in this post about yohan in relation to physical touch, i’m sure it could be assumed that this is one of the first people in a long time that yohan has an interest in making a connection with. however, because of his upbringing, it’s clear he does’t necessarily know how to connect with people (ie. ep 7 trying to connect with elijah, eps 1-6 with him trying to non-verbally tell gaon that he has bigger plans than what’s in front of his face. his admission in ep 5 about being monster). more or less, he knows his charms can be used, but when it comes to actually flirting and/or liking someone? it’s left to be addressed, but could be assumed he’s just as awkward about it as when we see him at home.

we also see a small instance of him letting someone dress him. there’s still touch involved, but it’s very clear what the intention is. he has control over the situation, and it’s not a surprise.

the next time he engages in physical touche, again, he initiates it because he’s in control, and it’s meant to be comforting, to an extent.

and then to round everything off, we actually see him reaching for isaac, who is actually gaon in the court scene, but you know storytelling and all that. he reaches for him both in the courtroom and within a flashback.

him reaching out for isaac seems to be a motif within the show as it happens later on, of which i’ll point out.

episode two

we see him initiate a handshake again. at first, to gaon, and then with jinjoo. controlled situation.

later on in the episode is when we see our first glimpses of batshit crazy yohan, an absolute delight and fav, lmao. he actually reaches out to the spoiled kid, and it’s clearly to legitimize intimidation and a position of power.

okay look, i’m not even gonna front, this was a cute scene. when jinjoo gets out of the car, he checks to make sure she’s okay, and they have this moment before they go onto the red carpet where they smile at each other. yohan is confirming she’s okay, and she agrees. again, controlled, and i don’t know for certain if yohan is more comfortable around women, or it’s just mere fact that he doesn’t always have a problem with touch when the situation is safe. he actually lets her take his arm further on in the scene, and yes, it is a public display of niceties, and he knows that.

so in the midst of this happening, we get the ‘devil child’ story. and i want to make note of the bird scene because i do think it’s important to note that people yohan cares for, he’s willing to go to the ends of the earth to protect them. yes, they’re children in school, but the girl next to him is the only one who showed him an ounce of kindness, and yohan is proven to remain loyal to those he loves or trusts in some capacity.

of course, he ends up pitting the rich and the poor kids against one another for their betrayal and making him an outcast. in yohan’s mind, what he did wasn’t necessarily wrong because his sense of justice is based on protection and when people wrong him or those he loves, it’s seeking justice on their behalf or making the situation better - not in the technically right way, but right to him. yohan comes across as a fixer and problem solver.

yohan has a very, very strong sense of trust and loyalty, and we can assume that stems from isaac, who clearly tried to protect yohan from his father, who went out of his way to do so as best as he could as a young kid. yohan values loyalty not because he necessarily wants lap dogs and people to do his bidding. it comes from a place of love and security he’s never really had.

anyway, back to the gala with jinjoo, he does shake the minister’s hand. again, controlled. there are cameras. he also puts his arm around her, and that’s mainly because it’s a battle of the wills, and she’s trying to reprimand him, lol, as if she could. he hugs her a little hard and a little enthusiastically, and you can clearly tell it’s for show.

and then he dances with both jinjoo and sunah. and there is a stark difference between these two scenes. yohan actually teaches jinjoo the proper placement for where she should rest her hands and how to move. he’s actually having a good time with her, and again, it’s actually really cute.

with sunah, he’s reluctant and definitely on guard. he can tell from her demeanor that her intent is with purpose trying to get close to him. at this point in the story, he probably sees it as sunah coming onto him and not because she’s actually the maid from when they were children. when sunah reaches up to whisper in his ear, you can really tell he doesn’t like her being that close to him at all especially because her words may not be overly threatening, but there is purpose behind them, which means yohan’s guards are up. he physically removes her hand and than blatantly turns her down: she tells him that enjoying things alone isn’t fun, and he counters it by saying he’s having a lot of fun.

so at this point to reduce on some screen caps, he meets the minister’s family, has handshakes with her husband and the kid he went after to essentially beat up his car with a mallet, lmao. the handshake is quite funny because they both know what happened. yohan is in control, and that kid is shaking in his boots.

then the explosion happens, and of course, it makes sense that yohan helps gaon after he’s hurt. gaon has never been a threat to yohan, and it’s clear yohan’s not heartless whatsoever, but it’s also poignant to note that gaon helped saved yohan’s life, thus starting yohan’s journey of loyalty to gaon. i think he’s always had his sight set on gaon to begin with, possibly long before he even became an associate judge, but if this was a test, gaon passed it with flying colors because if gaon can rescue a little girl, and he can help an old man who fell off his bike, would he really go the lengths to save yohan who has shown him time and time again his sense of justice is different?

episode three

yohan reacts negatively to soohyun and within good reason when she questions where gaon is. he turns away because for him, the conversation is over, but for her, it’s not. to get his attention, she grabs him when he’s not paying attention, and of course he has a very adverse reaction. at this point, it can be chalked up to disrespect given the fact that he’s a head judge and she’s just a mere cop, but hindsight is 20/20. he does throw her arm off by flicking out his arm. but instead of berating her, he just tells her to catch the culprits who harmed gaon and leaves it at that.

and then of course, everyone’s favorite scene and rightfully so. yohan caring for gaon? very sexy of him. gaon is injured, poses no threat, and as i said above about yohan finding some amount of loyalty in gaon means his physical boundaries aren’t jeopardized. and for that, we get these wonderful scenes of yohan helping gaon as he heals.

and then scenes of him messing around with gaon by hitting him. truth be told, i wonder if this was something him and isaac did as young kids. anyone with siblings know how that goes. fake picking on each other? fake bickering? yeah.

and then it slowly, but surely, it’s revealed that yohan didn’t have the same upbringing as isaac did. our first instance that something at home wasn’t right wasn’t just the conversation with ms. ji and gaon. it’s the flashback with yohan reading in his room when the door opens. he hastily pretends he’s asleep, and you can see he’s visibly shaking and breathing roughly until he realizes it’s isaac who’s there to give him books.

and that’s also when we get our first glance of what kind of abuse yohan suffered from at the hands of his father. it’s clear this isn’t the only incident, and there’s been many times that isaac wasn’t around to help defend him.

it’s also very clear in how yohan acts when he’s terrified and that his abuse has gone on long enough to be a routine pattern in the house. any time he hears heavy footsteps or thinks his father is around, he visibly shakes and gets panicky.

episode four

i include this scene because it’s been noted that a lot of books yohan reads are about humans, human nature, animals, animalistic tendencies, and he says random shit like this that directly points to what he thinks about humanity and humans themselves. we notice this most prominently at the dinner with gaon and jinjoo earlier on when he describes that he likes the feel of the chew and that he cannot taste. he always mentions hunting and prey, and i think this is one of those very clear instances where he actually reveals to gaon what he truly, truly thinks; no gimmicks. this also comes into play later on in ep 6 when elijah is worried about him being out all night. yohan clearly doesn’t trust people at all. he understands their intentions, their motives and how much pain they can cause other people for their own profit and their own gain. it makes sense that he wouldn’t leave his house, especially if he has a strong sense of loyalty to isaac (even after all these years) and caring for elijah.

this is also one of the very direct moments that yohan doesn’t understand family dynamics. when it comes to people, it’s a giant chess game. not only that, later on in the episode when they’re in the car and yohan talks about how people, no matter what, are always the same in front of greed, yohan is cynical, and he expects the bad every single time.

what he reads and the way he words things (here and the discussion of him being a monster, for example) is clearly an indication that he doesn’t trust; that he cannot trust, nor does he want to at this point. yohan doesn’t understand the concept of kindness being given freely (ep 7 when he berates elijah for being used by gaon, telling her she falls for kindness every time). and yet, later on in eps, it’s clear when he’s around the right people and the right mindset (uh, gaon?? lol), he’s constantly putting up a front.

after all in ep 7 when he tells gaon that confidence is key, it literally gives him away not just in the courtroom but in his personal life. there’s a reason he looks softer at home than when he’s not there (the hairstyle changes and clothing).

basically what i’m getting at is this behavior can be seen as a defense mechanism because of his abuse.

then it’s another gala event with gaon and yohan this time. another lovely favorite where yohan helps him get dressed and then proceeds to drag him around and safe him from the lion’s den.

tbh i dont even need to include these, but i’m doing it for the indulgence.

yohan does sorta physically throw gaon as well during the rich people party, but that’s mainly to get him to shut up because he’s trying to show gaon the truth at hand and how all of it’s pretty much a farce.

later on in the episode is when we first have gaon truly attacking yohan verbally, and that’s when yohan snaps. it’s clear that isaac is a trigger for yohan, especially from someone who speaks out of line on something they know nothing about. gaon, truth be told, had a stupid moment confronting yohan the way he did. i don’t know who waltzes up to a proposed murderer and just asks them, lmao.

but here’s the thing, thus far, gaon has not entirely posed a threat to yohan. whether that’s from yohan planting gaon and guiding him exactly where he wants him or gaon just not being as thorough as yohan would like, and he’s trying to tap into that talent, is anyone’s guess. but as i said above, the one thing yohan protects is the things he does care about the most, and he tries to talk himself out of his own feelings. he constantly compares himself to an animal (again, dinner scene with gaon and jinjoo) to justify his actions, and to possibly not feel anything; because that’s easier, isn’t it? not feeling. so on top of gaon calling him a monster and a killer, confronted with the possibility about being a villain in his own brother’s story, obviously sets him off. he beats down his emotions until he’s confronted with it - and this is what gaon also meant in ep 6 about how it’s ridiculous that yohan calls himself a monster over a victim because yohan can’t even see himself in that light. not because he truly believes victims are weak necessarily, but i wonder how much he realizes that what happened to him wasn’t his fault.

to me, and as i just said, yohan convinces himself he’s a monster to make it easier for himself to belief his actions (ep 5 telling gaon some humans are born monsters in relation to himself). it’s not that he inherently thinks he’s wrong, but i think his guidance for what’s right and wrong was misconstrued without a parent figure in his life, especially if he’d read crime and law books as the focus. yohan’s actions, at least quite a bit of them are, are based on a gut feeling of right and wrong. when you think about it and your own sense of justice, how would that differ without the checks and balances in place? what punishment do you think fits the crime if we weren’t bound by written law? yohan thinks any action to protect those he loves is, more or less, justifiable because it’s a means to an end. it’s making a worng right again.

i don’t think yohan is a monster. i think his feelings, and what he knows is love, is misconstrued in terms of how to express it. we see this in episode 7 with his and elijah’s conversation where she’s just trying to be a teen, but his version of love is protecting her without, once again, understanding family dynamics and the pain points of growing up, the learning she has to do on her own. yohan might technically be right; similar to being book-smart but not necessarily street smart. his theory of telling Elijah that she’s soft for kindness and being used was true, but his delivery and the idea that that’s how humans develop doesn’t work. he’s telling her text-book rules, but people don’t live through books. they live through real life. yohan reads to get a sense of fulfillment and to learn. he’s learned his way into adulthood, but that’s not normal.

so uh anyway, back to this familiar scene:

because we don’t know the actual story of isaac’s death, it’s hard to say what role yohan played in his death, but i don’t know that i believe he was the one who did it. the entirety of the devil judge is relying on unreliable narration, so it’s difficult to gauge (for now since we’re on ep 7) how this will turn out and what happened, but to me, it really comes across as yohan upset over the insinuation that he could be the one to cause the death of the one person he loved the most. plus, i think it says a lot that he cares/loves elijah, and she was part of isaac. gaon crossed a thine line. yohan essentially welcomed him in, and this is gaon toeing it. we can also look at this is not gaon being an outsider to their family, but now has become part of the family, and so it’s easier for yohan to be ‘abusive,’ if you will, rather than the perspective of gaon still on the sidelines and pushing too far. by this i mean, the accusations made by gaon threatens their formulating family dynamics.

and once again, the only person he ever actually reaches out for is isaac.

and then we have the aftermath of yohan’s nightmare, where he’s still caught in the dream as gaon comes in, and refuses to be touched after, even if gaon’s intention is to see if he’s okay. yohan makes it very clear to gaon not to touch him, and that’s when elijah comes in with a very accusatory ‘what are you two doing?’ in this moment, yohan is not just vulnerable, but he’s emotionally sensitive. i’ve no doubt he’s still dealing with a form of sensory overload from his dream.

and then, i don’t know that this was necessary? was it necessary?

the following set of scenes are the ones where gaon tells him he’s a victim and he hasn’t confronted his own emotions about his abuse. i think yohan realizes gaon is right to some degree, but it is convoluted, and it’s not so simple to face your own traumas. however, he does for a moment after gaon leaves, remember another instance of abuse he couldn’t stop but wishes he could, wishing a parental figure of sorts would’ve come in to save him like his older self is trying to save the kid version if only he could turn back time, if only he had the power to do what he wish someone else had done for him.

and then the kidnapping scene is just. fucked up in and of itself. it actually makes my skin crawl. not because sunah is scary necessarily, but the lack of autonomy yohan has - especially when we find out later more of sunah’s story. to do something like this after what she’s suffered through makes this scene even more disturbing.

you can see the moment yohan hears heels when sunah (not knowing it’s her yet) comes in. literally the minute he knows someone’s headed his way, he checks the fuck out. his whole face goes slack, especially when sunah reveals herself. and when she’s kissing him? blank as fuck, too. it’s the most dead-eyed stare i think we’ve seen from him.

episode six

so, we get this gem from elijah that i’d like to touch on later. it’s more speculation and just me running through ideas more than it is canon fact. but what it does let us know is that yohan doesn’t seek people out. he prefers to be at home and staying there.

after we get the maid story, and we do get yohan touching sunah’s cheek, and in some fucked up twisted way, this is his way of protecting one of the things isaac cherishes the most. the point of the gesture isn’t just intimidation but serves as an act of intent, of protection in the only way yohan knows how. he’s safeguarding isaac. you can tell he doesn’t actually like sunah at all as a kid, but uses that to his advantage. imagine yohan learning violence for ‘good’ things when his father used violence for ‘bad’ things. what a twisted way of looking at it? and the irony at hand.

additionally, the main reason i’ve included so many varying scenes of yohan touching people isn’t to establish that he’s okay with being touched given how many scenes there are of him randomly shaking people’s hand or touching them. it’s all about context and what the intent is for. most often than not, really way more often than not, yohan only reaches out for people when it’s socially acceptable to do so and because it’s manners. and yet, even in some of those cases, there is still intent behind the gesture.

the moments he acts out the most are when he’s not in front of an audience, when he’s more likely to be alone with his thoughts and is exceptionally more vulnerable to his own triggers.

and i think the scene after he’s back at his house from the kidnapping is noteworthy because it doesn’t just feel like he’s shaking off the effects of the drugs he was given. he seems to visibly trying to compose himself of the mental and physical play he just had to deal with.

the next scene is yohan angry with gaon for taking elijah out. which really, he does have every right to be angry, and one thing i didn’t note above during the ‘you killed your brother’ choke out scene before is that when yohan is backed into any kind of corner, he reacts like a caged animal.

because we’ve already established the scenes with his abuse, his father took his anger physically out on yohan. so how else was yohan supposed have developed the tools to express it? it’s easy to hurt the things you love the most; it’s easy to abuse the ones you know, and between gaon and himself, they both have an unhealthy dynamic because gaon is old enough, strong enough to take whatever yohan gives him. gaon is not family and so there’s still that clear divide and a distinction as to why he lays a hand on gaon but not elijah, for example. gaon can still pose a threat. elijah is family. then again, it can also be said that maybe yohan considers gaon family, and gaon betrayed elijah and therefore yohan, and you don’t do that. not with yohan’s understanding of family dynamics.

but with that said, it begs the question why yohan keeps gaon around, and i think some of that has to do with the fact that gaon surprises yohan. he might’ve set his sights on him long before he became an associate judge or maybe he took interest after gaon was chosen for the role (this is still up in the air), but deep down, yohan sees something in gaon despite his snooping, despite his righteousness. it could be the potential; it could be the fact that gaon could be better than yohan if he just allowed himself to loosen the ropes he’s tied himself with when it comes to the court of law and the justice system.

but here’s the thing that idk a lot of people have really picked up on. gaon is one side of the same coin underneath it all. he’s also provoked yohan with physicality when yohan brought up details about soohyun.

to be fair, we can say that yohan evokes a different type of anger in gaon, one that he hasn’t tapped into for years that allows him to open up to that more physical side of himself he learned to put behind him. gaon doesn’t really come across as the physically threatening type, but yohan does push his buttons and vice versa.

but then, of course, we have the big fight scene where gaon goes in on the attack, and that’s when yohan makes his threat not to attack him ever again. it’d be easy to say he says it based on the merit of him not actually attacking soohyun, but seriously speaking, the intent feels much more than that. more along the lines of asking gaon not to provoke him without warning again because next time might be bad. most of their other fights, especially the one above,have been in the midst of conversation. this time, it’s from a place of complete surprise, and you can tell yohan goes on the defensive when his first instinct is to not just throw gaon back but raise his fist to strike.

episode seven

the only physical contact yohan has with anyone is the president, and that’s when he turns on the live video of the two of them, and it’s clearly intended to be a lowkey threat. he keeps pulling the president back into his side to be on the live camera after the dude tried to come after yohan. i do think it’s hilarious that yohan manipulated the situation with a live component just as the president and the rest of the rich people thought they could turn a live court show into manipulating the public.

and then, of course, the jail scene. the part where he makes gaon stay. he also touches gaon’s shoulder later just before they leave.

episode eight

the most prominent scene in this ep is certainly the scene where sunah comes onto yohan, and you can tell she did it to get under his skin in some way. of course, he’s smart and knows she’s up to something, but i think it’s so interesting how he wraps his fists around hers, almost as if to tame her and prevent her from trying to further put her hands on him.

we also know yohan has no issue with using physical force regardless of who it is (obviously, his dialogue in this scene, too) when he feels caged or trapped. his intention is also to retrieve isaac’s necklace, and i like how he uses literally anything to his advantage. meaning, he’ll use physical touch, his mentality, etc to get what he wants or needs, even if it is marginally uncomfortable to some degree.

and i think that also says alot about him is that he’s able to displace what makes him uncomfortable in moments like this to achieve an end goal.

additional thoughts

i know this isn’t really common with a lot of the characters in general, and could be chalked up to a cultural component, but yohan’s definitely not a hugger.

the other thing i wanted to note is yohan’s seemingly adherence to touch unless it’s for good reason in relation to sex. the main reason i bring it up is because i’ve seen it discussed a bit, especially in regard to elijah’s comment about him not staying out overnight since the fire. there are a few plausible scenarios, maybe more, but for the sake of this, we’ll go for these.

yohan has had past relationships/experience or will in future episodes

day flings

he’s never had an interest in anyone before given his upbringing and abuse and therefore never sought out sex

inexperience could be from lack of interest in other people and sex itself

he’s never found anyone to really connect with and trust in such a way and has avoided it for that reason

and i bring this up mainly because i think it could be something to explore in fanon, but also because i’m kind of annoyed with how people have been talking about yohan being a virgin. i’m not quite sure what the joke is, but lack of sexual experience does not mean naive or that he doesn’t have a sense of humor when that’s clearly far from the truth:

i don’t know that people find it unbelievable because of his age, because of characterization of yohan being more dominant, but none of these things negate this being an option. i think it’s perfectly plausible of a situation (from what we know right now), and truthfully, it would make a whole lot of sense. i just don’t get the jokes about it that i’ve been seeing online (twitter) when there isn’t a mutual exclusiveness to any of it whatsoever.

yohan already has a hard time connecting with people, and i can imagine that level of physicality could be difficult. clearly he knows how to use a version of it to get what he wants. i’ve no doubt he’s used his charms in situations where he’s needed to. yohan knows he has that going for him, at the very least. but sexual appeal and jokes doesn’t mean having a body count any more than it could indicate there being one.

lastly, i also want to pull these paragraphs from @b612sunsets​‘s post because i think they do a much better job than i ever could of explaining, short and sweet, a fundamental part of yohan’s characterization, and mainly what i was trying to get at with this long ass post.

“There's two things we already know about Yohan from the last 6 episodes: he hates being touched when he doesn't see it coming and doesn't have control over it because of the abuse he suffered (I assume). To name a few: Soohyun grabbing his elbow to stop him from leaving and get answers about Gaon, the beggar that touched him while he searched for the fireman, Gaon after punching him and Yohan clearly telling him to NEVER do it again. The impression it gave to us is that if there's a next time he might not be able to stop his instinctive reaction of defending himself and using violence back (something worse than choking or pushing Gaon and he doesn't want to do that with him).

“Unless it's a friendly/small/slow touch like in the breakfast scene when Gaon touches his arm when he gets up to offer them some fruits. When he had the nightmare with Isaac, his walls were up high so even if he could see Gaon's touch coming and it was friendly, he decided to stop it because he was too defensive and sensible to accept the gesture (it would be the first time Gaon started physical contact with him too, he wouldn't be ready for that in such a state).

“The second thing is that Yohan hates when people take what is his or mess with what is important to him. Again, to name a few: Sunah with the necklace when she was a maid, the fireman with Isaac's watch (Yohan made them fall from high places, not caring if they died or not), the guy that fabricated the small bombs that hurt Gaon (Yohan would have burnt his face if "K" hadn't stopped him) and Gaon taking Elijah out of the house to Soohyun without previous notice (a cop and someone he doesn't trust).”

yohan has a very, very large sense of self-preservation for himself and for those he cares about. it’s in his intention, actions, facial expressions, movements, the way he interacts with people. i find it fascinating how calculating he can be, but at home, he’s at his most vulnerable and almost socially unaware and awkward.

yohan is a bit of an irony. he understands people from an action-oriented, instinctual level, but he doesn’t necessarily understand their thoughts and emotions in the waves of nuances that people live through on the daily. like, he gets it to an extent and on a practical level, but he himself is a square trying to fit into a circle - he doesn’t always understand it for himself and has to actively work on social cues so as not to come across as the devil child he was once painted to be.

and let it not be unsaid, yohan really will go to the ends of the earth for family, even if it means stepping out of his comfort zone.

and so anyway, i doubt this offered any real insight, but i think this is my way of breaking all of this down for myself. so, tada!!! lmao