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hippiegoth97 · 17 hours ago

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Into the Fire: An Eddie Munson x Reader Story Pt. 36

Collage by me :)

Master List

Part 35

Tag List: @keikoraven @ar-jupiter @alcielo1438 @cairro-xx @stolen-in-moonlight

@micheledawn1975 @janiejenn @rafeyscurtainbangs @melodymunson @spacedoutdaydreamer

@veemoon @sariahs-stuff @feral-pumpkin-energy @comeonatmebruh @munsoneightysixx

@morgthemagpie @josephquinnsfreckles @jenniquinn @userchai @cometzombie

@spookybabey @daggerdaggerkitten @nina6708 @sanctumdemunson @yourdailymemedelivery

@person-005 @slowandsteddie @gri959 @elegantkoalapaper @letitgoandletlive

@loserboysandlithium @costellation-hunter @leelei1980 @h-ness1944 @pretendthisnameisclever

@ohmeg @stalactitekilla @hellfirenacht @birdysaturne @oneforthemunny

@prettyboyeddiemunson @eddievanmunson @msgexymunson @rattkween86 @violetpixiedust

@bimbobaggins69 @angel-munson @eldermayfield @munsonsbtch @bimbogorewhore

@mediocredreams @bloodibambiidoll @taintedcigs @ali-r3n @emxxblog

@losingmygrasponreality

Content Warning 18+ Only, Minors DNI: swearing, alcohol use, crying, fluff, smut, groping, heavy kissing, oral sex, fingering, premature ejaculation, squirting, praise/degradation

Word Count: 6.7k

divider by @strangergraphics

Part 36: I’ll Be There For You

Friday, October 6th, 1989

For the next few weeks after you’ve left the apartment, you do everything in your power to get your life back on track. You get up early every day, having breakfast with your Mom and helping clean up afterwards. Robin drives you to school, and you do the typical model student thing you've always done, taking notes and participating in class. At work, you focus on getting your tasks done, and supervising your subordinates to the best of your ability. Then you go home, get your homework done before dinner is all set and ready for you on the dining room table. You share the meal with your mother once again, the both of you talking about your day and carrying on like everything is normal. It's almost like you never left, like you never met Eddie at all.

That's not to say you haven't thought about him. Of course you have. But you reserve that for when you're in your bed, alone to marinate in your thoughts. Every night, you get closer to the solution to the problem he's created. Every night, you hate him a little less. Every night, you miss him more and more. Every night, you move nearer to where you know you want to be. Forgiveness. You've wanted to be there this entire time, even when you'd convinced yourself it would be impossible to look past this. One of the things that helps you reach this conclusion, is a phone call you have with Dustin about halfway through your period of rumination.

"Of course, she's right here." Mom says sweetly into the headset of the phone. She's been talking to Dustin for a good while, he's been filling her in on all the wonderful things about California and college. "Dusty wants to talk to you, Y/N." Mom hands the phone your way, and you gladly take it. You've missed him a lot since he's been gone. He may be your annoying little brother, but you still love him very much.

"Hey, Dustin. How's college treating you?" You ask once you put the phone to your ear.

"It's been great! This place is awesome! Everyone is so smart and nerdy like me! You'll have to come visit! And you have to try the breakfast burritos! They. Are. Amazing." Dustin says excitedly through the receiver, talking far too fast.

"I'm sure I will sometime, Dusty." You smile, though your tone still comes off a little sad. You're glad he seems to be fitting in well and adjusting to living away from home. But you miss having the little goober around to get on your nerves.

"What about you? Everything going okay? You know...with school, and work..." Dustin does his best to avoid the tender subject, but you know immediately that he's alluding to Eddie. You suppose they've probably talked at some point recently, they are pretty close. You aren't sure you want to have this conversation with him. But maybe another perspective will help you figure out what choice to make.

"I'm fine, Dusty. I mean, I'm not fine. But I'm doing my best." You pause, wondering if you dare ask what Eddie said to him. "I take it you and Eddie talked? About...us?" You ask, wanting to bash your own head in with the phone for opening this can of worms.

"Well, yeah. He's, like, my best friend. But he told me everything about the party, and Chrissy, and all the other idiotic shit." Dustin explains, making you laugh at his earnest use of the word 'idiotic'. "I'm really sorry, Y/N. I had no idea they had history. He seemed really ashamed of it. God, I swear he was crying a little over the phone." He says sullenly, his heart aching for the both of you. He can't imagine what you must be going through. The broken trust you must feel, and the guilt wracking Eddie to the core. It sounds like a complete mess. Much like all your friends, though, he's still rooting for the both of you. He may not know a whole lot about love, his only real relationship crashed and burned. But he can guarantee a picture of you and Eddie would be smack dab under the word, if one looked it up in Merriam-Webster.

"I'm sure he was. I know he feels bad, he's told me so himself. And I don't want it to be a big deal. But, somehow it is. Eddie's never lied to me about anything, except this. He did everything he could to ensure I wouldn't find out about him and Chrissy. I just...I wonder what else he's lied to me about." You bite down on your trembling lip at the thought, unable to stomach the concept of every single thing Eddie's ever said being untrue. That the truth is...he doesn't love you, or like you. That he only ever said that to get further into your pants. Deep down, you know none of these suppositions make sense. But if you're honest with yourself, his little affair with Chrissy doesn't either. Not to you, anyway. He could've easily found someone else to screw, but he chose her. Why?

"Y/N, I know it's especially hard to believe right now. But I swear to you, on our mother, that Eddie is no liar. At least, he's not one to make a habit of it. I really think that all this is, is a huge mistake he regrets. I'm sure if he could take it all back, he would. But he can't, so the next best thing was hiding it." Dustin explains emphatically, really going to bat for his friend.

"I know...You're right. Everyone is. I'm just overreacting一" You say, slightly annoyed. Everybody sounds like a goddamn broken record lately.

"I didn't say that, Y/N. And if I know the others as well as I think I do, no one else did, either." He cuts you off. "Look, all I'm trying to say is that you both love and care for each other. Like, more than I ever thought two people possibly could. And while it's up to you what you want to do, I think it would be pretty stupid to throw in the towel over this."

You roll your eyes at his words, but he's not wrong. Until the party, you had such a wonderful thing going with Eddie. You made a home together, and it was perfect. You were happy. Truly happy for the first time in your life. And your entire being aches to get that feeling back. "I know." You finally reply, barely above a whisper. "T-tell me more about California." You stutter, sniffing hard and wiping a tear from your eye as you change the subject.

Dustin thankfully lets you be about your broken relationship, fully aware that his words have been taken into strong consideration. He fills you in on everything, mostly about all the science-y stuff and delicious food he's been devouring lately. He's always been quite the sponge, absorbing the world around him to his heart's content. Hearing him speak so cheerfully about his new life lifts your spirits, allowing you to put your own troubles aside. You're so proud of him, achieving such great things already. You hope he'll come home for the holidays, it definitely wouldn't be the same without him.

After Dustin has talked your ear off for a good hour or so, you give the phone back to Mom and go to your room. The rest of your night is calm, and cool-headed. You really take Dustin's words to heart, allowing the things everyone's been saying to truly soak in. Eddie didn't want to deceive you, and nothing else about his words or actions has been dishonest. He made a bad choice, as any human being does from time to time. You yourself have made some choices you aren't proud of, namely dating Tommy and putting up with the abuse he inflicted on you. But you know better now, and so does Eddie. He loves you more than anything in the world, and you love him just as much.

Despite your talk with Dustin bringing you around a bit, you still keep your distance from Eddie for a little longer. You aren't sure why, really. Perhaps it’s an exercise in self-control. Getting yourself comfortable with the idea of being alone, if something else causes your partnership with Eddie to end for good. You know, just in case. You continued your routine, slowly warming up to him again. A small smile at work here, a brief 'good night' at the end of a shift there. Little things to let him know that soon, you'll be ready to try this again. You've felt a bit bad, seeing him sulking behind concessions, or sweeping the theater sluggishly. But he hasn't called, or tried to talk to you about anything besides work. He's lets you have your space, waiting patiently for you to come back to him.

Friday, October 13th, 1989

October is well underway by the time you think you're ready to take Eddie back. The air is cooler, and the leaves have turned to rich hues of yellow, orange, and red. It's currently Friday the 13th, and Robin insisted on coming over for the night and watching the horror film named after this mysterious day, which she vehemently claims is 'tradition'. You find it a bit silly, you're far from superstitious. But you're glad to have the company. You've grown much closer to Robin these last few weeks, to a point where you'd safely call her your best friend. Vickie is definitely a lucky girl, even though you still haven't met her yet. Robin swears she'll be attending Steve's Halloween party, and she's eager to meet everyone.

"Ready to watch some horny teens get slaughtered?" Robin asks, holding a VHS tape in her hand as she stands in your doorway.

"You know it!" You reply giddily, stepping aside to let her come in. You close the door behind her, and go to the kitchen. "I've already got the popcorn ready, and I've been chilling some wine I bought after class. So, just pop that tape in and we'll一" You're cut off by the doorbell ringing, which you find odd. You didn't invite anyone else over tonight, at least, not successfully. Steve's manning Family Video on his own tonight, and Nancy doesn't like scary movies. Wondering who it is, you go right back over to the door and pull it open. And you find the absolute last person you'd expect to darken your doorstep. Chrissy. Maybe this day is unlucky after all. "Oh, no. Absolutely not." You chuckle angrily, shaking your head and attempting to slam the door in her face. You don't want to hear a damn thing this whore has to say. But she blocks the door with her body, desperate to speak with you.

"Y/N, please. I just want to talk." Chrissy insists, her sad eyes begging with yours to let her in.

"About what? Have you been talking to Eddie?" You ask accusingly, ready to try and force her out again.

"No! I-I tried to. Just to apologize. But, he hung up on me." She explains, straining against your grip on the door. "Please, just give me five minutes."

"Fine. Five minutes. And they better be good ones." You sigh in annoyance, ceasing your pushing. She steps inside, meekly holding her purse close to her body.

"Uh, what the fuck is she doing here?" Robin asks angrily after she's put the tape in the VCR. She crosses her arms, standing her ground. She looks about ready to beat Chrissy up on your behalf.

"Relax, Rob. We're just gonna talk in my room for a minute." You explain, leading Chrissy down the hall to your bedroom.

"Alright. Let me know if I have to kick some skank ass!" Robin calls after you, peeking her head down the hallway. She narrows her eyes at Chrissy, making her gasp in fear.

"Alright. Out with it." You say flatly after you close the bedroom door. You lean against it, standing above her as she sits on your bed.

"Look, Y/N. I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kissed Eddie at your party. That was wrong of me. I just...still had feelings for him after what we used to have." She explains sadly, looking down at her hands. She kisses your boyfriend, in front of everyone, and she can't even look you in the eye.

"I'm not really interested in hearing what you two 'used to have', Chrissy." You snip, and she finally looks at you.

"No. I know. And I'll never forgive myself for any of this. The affair, the kiss, the drugs. But I want you to know that Eddie in no way reciprocated it. He froze up, he didn't feel the way he used to. It was clear to me at that moment that he doesn't have feelings for me anymore. He only cares for you." She speaks sincerely, not breaking away from your gaze this time. She knows how wrong all of this is, that she shouldn't have betrayed her friends like this. All you've done is try to help her, and she acted selfishly in return.

"Is that all?" You ask, still none too happy to have her in your house.

"Yeah. I guess it is." Chrissy nods, standing up. "I don't expect you to forgive me, Y/N. I certainly wouldn't. But...don't let Eddie go. He loves you so much, I see the way you two are when you're together. Don't lose out on something that comes once in a lifetime, if you're lucky." She gently pats your shoulder, and you surprisingly don't shrug her off. You just lead her out of the room, and give her a small 'thank you' at the front door. You sit down on the couch once she's gone, and Robin comes to your side.

"I heard everything, Y/N. What do you think about it?" She asks softly, taking hold of your hand to ground you. You feel like you've left your own body for a moment. It's strange, you'd already drawn the conclusion that Eddie had no interest in Chrissy anymore. But to hear it straight from the horse's mouth, to know that not one ounce of him accepted her affection, even out of reflex? It means far more than any reassuring words you've gotten from anybody else. It's finally clicked for you now. You're ready.

"I think...I've got to get my boyfriend back." You say slowly, laughing in disbelief once the words leave your lips. You look at Robin, who's smiling brightly at you.

"That's great, Y/N. I'm so happy for you." She pulls you into a hug, squeezing you tight.

"I should call him!" You exclaim excitedly, about to lunge for the phone.

"Oh, no. I don't think so. You can call the dingus tomorrow. Tonight is our night. No boys, no drama. Just Pamela Voorhees, wine, and popcorn." Robin insists that you slow down and let the man wait another night. He'll survive, just like he has for three whole weeks.

"Ugh, you're right. We've got our plans, and I intend to honor them. Just let me get the glasses." You reply, feeling rather chipper now. You practically bounce off the sofa to get your snacks.

"That's my girl!" Robin cheers, getting the tape ready to start playing. You come back to the couch shortly after, switching off the lights along the way. You both settle in, draping a warm blanket over your laps and setting the bowl between you. Robin clicks the remote, and the movie begins to play.

You allow yourselves to become fully immersed in the film, jumping at every startling moment. You drink your wine, and munch down popcorn like nobody's business. It's rather nice to turn your brain off and relax for a while. It's not something you allow yourself to do all that much. Even during your sleepover, your mind still drifted to Eddie on numerous occasions. But now, you don't have to worry about that. You'll call him tomorrow, and go back home to the apartment. One last night of solitary fun won't kill you.

About halfway through the movie, though, you really have to pee. "Can you pause it? I gotta run to the bathroom." You ask.

"Sure thing." Robin nods, clicking the remote to freeze the film.

You paw your way down the pitch-dark hallway, finding the bathroom after a small struggle. You might just be a teensy bit tipsy. You flick on the light, not even bothering to close the door. It's just you and Rob in the house, and she's not gonna come down here. You take your time relieving yourself, thinking about how wonderful tomorrow is going to be. You'll be with your man again, no doubt fucking like bunnies to make up for lost time. You smile to yourself at the thought, but you're interrupted by the sound of Robin talking to somebody on the phone. You wonder who it is, hopefully she's not blabbing to Steve about your decision. News will travel fast, that's for sure.

"Who were you talking to?" You ask once you return to the room.

"Oh, just my Mom. Letting her know I'll be home tomorrow. I'm way too buzzed to drive home tonight." She says, laughing nervously. Robin is notoriously awful at lying.

"Uh-huh. Sure." You say, unconvinced. But you'll let it be, for now. You keep watching the movie, observing Jason's mother slashing away at promiscuous young adults, earning revenge for letting her little boy drown. It's kind of a sad movie, when you really think about it. That poor woman, she just wanted her son to have a semi-normal childhood. And those assholes who were supposed to watch him were too busy screwing to pay attention. You know you're not supposed to side with the killer in these things, but Pamela Voorhees can surely be the exception. Right?

You let out a long yawn once the credits roll, looking over at the clock. Almost ten. It's not that late, but after school, work, and dealing with Chrissy, you can't help feeling exhausted. A satisfied kind of exhausted, like you've accomplished a lot in one day. But exhausted nonetheless. You're about to get up, taking the empty glasses with you, when you hear the sound of an electric guitar outside. What the fuck?

"Rob, what did you do?" You ask, turning to her with a suspicious look.

"Why don't you let me clean up, and you can go see for yourself?" She replies with a grin. She had in fact called Steve while you were in the bathroom, letting him know what you'd decided. He then passed the news on to Eddie, who has been planning the ultimate way to woo you back into his arms. He spent hours learning one of your favorite songs, even though he doesn't like it much himself. All so he can sweep you off your feet like a true gentleman does.

"Jesus, you guys are incorrigible." You laugh, shaking your head as you stand up. You're dressed in your pj's, not exactly the sexiest thing for Eddie to see you in. But screw it, it sounds like he's got a spectacle of romance waiting for you outside. You go to the door, turning the knob to pull it open. You step out into the night, finding Eddie on your lawn with his guitar slung over his shoulder, plugged into his amp. He's even got a damn microphone set up, and he's lit up by headlights. Where all his equipment is plugged in, you have no idea. The Hellfire kids, Max, Nancy, and Steve are all here, having been brought over in the van or in Steve's or Nancy's car.

You approach the small crowd they've formed in front of Eddie's set-up, and they usher you to the front of it. Your eyes truly meet his for the first time in weeks, and you feel the sparks flying inside you instantly. He looks sexy as hell, his hair tied back, smiling cheerily as he's so happy to see you. He's wearing a red flannel, one of his typical t-shirts underneath, and his usual tight black jeans with the holes in the knees. He grips his guitar like an extension of himself, strumming the notes you recognize immediately. No fuckin' way, he learned a Bon Jovi song for me?

"Hey, sweetheart. This one's for you." Eddie says, giving you a cheeky wink before he starts to sing. "I guess this time you're really leavin'. I heard your suitcase say 'goodbye'. Well, as my broken heart lies bleedin'. You say true love is suicide..." He sings breathily into the mic, the words immediately melting your heart. You know how much he dislikes this song, how cheesy and awful he says it is. But he knows you love it, so he's singing it just for you. His eyes are glued to yours as he sings, his fingers hitting the notes effortlessly. You haven't seen Eddie play a whole lot since you've been together, at least, not like this. "You say you've cried a thousand rivers, and now you're swimmin' to the shore. You left me drownin' in my tears, and you won't save me anymore."

His heart pours out of his mouth with every lyric, truly feeling the music and the strong emotions coursing through him. You watch on, hypnotized by his dark, velvety voice. Again, you've heard him sing plenty, you'd swear he was an exotic bird in another life. But it's nothing compared to this. It's like he's ripping his chest wide open, letting you see all the vulnerable bits beating away inside. The song picks up for the chorus, and he plays it like he wrote the damn song himself. "I'll be there for you, these five words I swear to you. When you breathe, I wanna be the air for you. I'll be there for you. I'd live and I'd die for you. I'd steal the sun from the sky for you. Words can't say what love can do, I'll be there for you."

It slows down once again, and you can't help swaying along as he performs the second verse for you. "I know you know we've had some good times, now they have their own hiding place. Well, I can promise you tomorrow, but I can't buy back yesterday." Eddie's breath catches on the last few words, and you see a couple tears escape his eyes. It's funny, the words of the song have never rung so true for you until this moment. It perfectly encapsulates how you've been both feeling, how you ended up here. And with every line he recites, it's a promise made to you for all time. A promise to take care of you, and never lead you down the wrong road again. You're suddenly overcome with the urge to tell him how much you also want to make this promise. Your feet move before you even realize what you're doing, bringing yourself right beside Eddie to sing the chorus with him this time. His smile grows, and everyone cheers. "Help me out, sweetheart." He chuckles, and you lean into the mic with him.

"I'll be there for you, these five words I swear to you. When you breathe, I wanna be the air for you. I'll be there for you. I'd live and I'd die for you. I'd steal the sun from the sky for you. Words can't say what love can do, I'll be there for you." The two of you sound amazing together, tears streaming down your faces as you gaze in one another's eyes. You silently agree to skip the last verse, as you're about to become an absolute mess in a minute. So you finish it out with the 'whoa-oh's that usually come at the end, with everyone else joining in to sing with you. Eddie punches out those final notes, and you pull him into you once he's done.

Your lips crash against his, and the crowd goes wild. Whooping and clapping and whistling as you hold each other close. Eddie's hands strongly grip your waist, and your arms are so tight around his neck you're almost choking him. But neither of you care one bit. You're too engrossed in having the kiss you've been waiting for, your hearts overflowing with love and affection. You melt against him, allowing his needy tongue to slither into your mouth. Your faces are hot and flushed, absolutely dripping with tears. But you don't dare pull away yet, not until you absolutely have to come up for breath.

"I believe I have something of yours." Eddie pants once you stop kissing, reaching into his pocket for your necklace. He holds it in his palm, presenting it to you for the second time.

"You wanna put it on me, love?" You ask giddily, biting your lip.

"Sure thing, babydoll." He smirks, giving you another short kiss before turning you around. He brings the pick around your neck, fastening the gold chain in the back. You turn back around to show him, and his eyes sparkle with glee. "That's my girl." He chuckles, quickly slipping his guitar over his head and setting it down. Eddie quickly scoops you up into his arms, making you shriek in surprise.

"Eddie! What are you doing!" You cackle, wrapping your arms around him to hold on.

"Takin' you home, baby. Back where you belong." He says simply, carrying you towards the van.

"But what about our stuff?" You ask, wondering why he's in such a rush.

"I'll get it loaded up real quick. But you are gonna stay right here. Because when we get home, I am gonna spoil you all night long." Eddie says lowly in your ear, sending that familiar chill of pleasure up your spine. You've definitely missed that, the deep purr of his voice saying filthy things that make your pussy throb. He sets you down, opening your door and ushering you into your seat. "I won't be long, princess. Stay put." He pats the side of the door a couple times, running back to retrieve all your belongings. Obviously everyone helps him out, you watch them through the side mirror, and turn around in your seat as they get everything loaded into the back.

It doesn't take long, and everybody says their goodbyes and waves as Eddie pulls the van out of the driveway. You'll call mom at work once you get to the apartment, letting her know the good news. You'd hate for her to come home to an empty house again with no warning. The drive is quick, and anxious, the two of you itching to get inside and rip your clothes off. Eddie parks the van rather crooked in the apartment lot, and practically yanks you out of your seat to run inside and up the stairs. As soon as his key turns in the lock, and the door swings open, you're on each other in seconds. You slam the door shut, and press Eddie up against it.

"I missed you." You say desperately, still breathing hard from rushing to get inside. Your mouth immediately finds his again, unable to get enough of his taste that you've been craving. Tobacco, sweets, maybe a touch of beer. Eddie drops his keys on the floor, which alerts Arwen to your presence. She comes dashing down the hallway, meowing louder than you ever thought a cat could. She scampers up your back, wrapping herself around your shoulders. She nuzzles her head into your neck, her thick fur tickling your flesh. You pull away from Eddie, giggling at Arwen's affection.

"I missed you too, Y/N. Maybe not as much as the cat, though." He chuckles, reaching forward to give her some scritches. She purrs excitedly, happy to have both her parents home again. You can only imagine how she's been without you here, crying for you all day and night. That must've been rough for Eddie to deal with.

"How was she while I was away?" You ask, carefully plucking her off your shoulders to cradle her in your arms instead.

"Ugh, it was awful. She didn't want to eat unless I hand fed her, and she wouldn't stop meowing. She even shit on the floor a few times out of stress." Eddie explains, crinkling his nose.

"Jesus. I'm sorry you had to handle that by yourself." You tut, giving him a meaningful look.

"It's fine, Y/N. I consider it fair punishment." He replies, his face falling a little. In all honesty, he feels he deserved far worse. "And I know I haven't said it yet, for some idiotic reason. But, I'm sorry for lying to you, sweetheart. I should've been honest with you, and I promise that's the only thing I've ever lied about in our relationship. And I will never, ever do that again." He says sincerely. He knows you've already forgiven him, but it's important for him to give you a real apology. It's the least he can do, it's what he should've done so much sooner.

"I know, Eds. It's all okay now. It's funny, Chrissy actually came around the house today." You start, Eddie's eyes widening.

"Really?" He asks in shock, wondering what you two may have discussed. That is, if you gave her the time of day as opposed to kicking her ass.

"Yeah, she apologized for the whole thing. She made it clear that you wanted no part in that kiss. And she told me that as soon as she did it, she knew you only have feelings for me now. It's exactly what I needed to hear, to help me see past this whole thing." You say sweetly, setting the cat down and putting your hands on his chest.

"Well, I'm glad she did that for you. I'm guessing you're still pretty pissed at her, though. I know I am." His hands find your hips, pulling you in closer until your body is flush with his.

"Oh, big time. That bitch is never setting foot in here again." You say half-jokingly, drawing a breezy laugh from the both of you. "Now, you said something about spoiling me?" You ask, lifting your knee to brush against Eddie's crotch. He groans at the contact, unable to hold back. It's been so long since you've touched him like this. He hasn't even had the sense to 'take care of himself' since you've left. He's thought about it, taking those photos you took for him from the nightstand and yanking one out. But he felt like it would be wrong to do that, and he was sure he'd just end up crying while looking at them anyway. And that is a total boner killer.

"I certainly did, angel." He smiles, lifting you up to put your legs around his waist. You can feel the beginnings of his erection rubbing against you, ramping up your excitement for what he's got in store for you. He carries you to the bedroom, tossing you onto the bed and climbing on top of you shortly after. He kneels above you, cupping your cheek as he gazes at you lovingly. "Promise you'll never leave again?" He asks softly.

"You promise to stop being a dumbass?" You tease.

"Cross my heart and hope to die, sweetheart." Eddie chuckles, making an ‘X’ over his chest while slowly lowering his lips toward yours.

"Then so do I." You reply just before his plush mouth reaches your own. You let him take the lead, curious to see how exactly he intends to spoil you tonight. He nudges your lips open, slipping his tongue inside to tangle with yours. "Mmm." You moan quietly, your body heating up from the heart-stopping kiss. His hand creeps up your side, finding and squeezing your breast. "Eddie." You whimper as his thumb brushes over your clothed nipple, your hips bucking up slightly.

"Already so needy for me, princess?" Eddie asks darkly, pinching the sensitive nub through the thin fabric.

"Yes, baby. I've missed you so much. If I'm being honest, there were times where I couldn't stop thinking about this. Even when I was so angry with you." You answer breathlessly, your back arching as his lips find your throat.

"Did you ever do anything about it?" He questions, dying to know if you touched yourself while you were away. The mental image of you rubbing your clit and fingering your pussy while moaning his name makes his cock twitch.

"No. It would've just made me sad. Did you ever...?" You trail off, knowing he understands what you mean without fully asking.

"Not once. Nothing compares to you, love." He says, biting down hard on your throat to make you squeal. He's missed your noises so very much, the way you hold absolutely nothing back from him. "These pajamas are pretty cute, by the way. Are they new?" He asks, slipping his hand underneath your shirt now. He has to feel your supple flesh in his big, strong hands.

"They're Robin's. I'd forgotten to pack my own when I left, so she let me borrow them." You say, gasping when his hand closes around your tit again. Everything he's doing feels so good, and it's making you unbelievably wet. Your hands slip into his hair as he continues to nip and suck on your neck. You're sure to have a fresh batch of hickies in the morning, once again branding you as Eddie's girl.

"That was nice of her. Sounds like she's been a really good friend to you lately." He says casually.

"Yeah, she really has. I don't know how I would've kept myself together without her." You reply, though you'd prefer to focus on the task at hand. "Now, are we gonna do this, or are we gonna talk about other women all night?" You lower a hand between your bodies, palming Eddie's cock through his jeans.

"Okay." He moans. "Message received, sweetheart. Sex now, talk later." He laughs, sitting up to take his flannel off. He slips it off his arms, tossing it to the floor. He lifts his t-shirt over his head, exposing his beautiful chest. Your hands are immediately on him, running your palms up and down his skin, stopping to admire his ink like it's the very first time.

"I've missed this gorgeous body of yours, Eds." You admit, raising yourself to his level. You press your lips to his chest, leaving open-mouthed kisses in a haphazard trail. He hums at the contact, peering down at you as your pretty lips worship him.

"I've missed yours too, babydoll." He tugs at the hem of your shirt, wanting to see your perfect tits. You allow him to take it off, throwing it across the room. It lands on Arwen who's curled up in her bed, earning a disapproving 'mew' from her. Your breasts bounce slightly once the garment is gone, drawing Eddie's eyes right to them. He takes them in his hands, roughly massaging them. "And I've definitely missed these." He lowers his head to admire your own chest now, carefully nipping and sucking in all the places he remembers will drive you wild.

"Fuck, Eds..." You whine, savoring every drag of his teeth and swirl of his tongue. His lips close around your left nipple, drawing more needy sounds from your lips. "Please, baby. I need you." You scoot yourself forward, straddling his lap in your desperation. You grind yourself down onto him, moaning at the friction of his stiff cock rubbing against your clit.

"Slow down, princess. I'm gonna take care of you." Eddie says sweetly, leaving your chest alone and guiding you to lay down again. "I gotta say I love how needy you are, though. Still such a filthy little slut for me, aren't you?" He asks, hands grabbing at the waistband of your pants now.

"Just for you, my love." You nod, waiting for him to remove the rest of your clothes and see for himself exactly how filthy you are. He slowly pulls the pajamas and your panties down, the clothing joining the rest in seconds. You spread your legs, allowing him to get a good look.

"Fuck, you're soaked, sweetheart." He groans at the sight, so relieved to see your glistening folds again. He licks his lips, like a starving animal. Before either of you can think to do anything else, Eddie dives between your legs and immediately starts licking hungry strokes from your entrance to your bundle of nerves.

"Oh my god!" You cry out, taken completely by surprise. Your hips jolt when his warm mouth meets your cunt, but he quickly laces his arms around your thighs to hold you still. He greedily swirls his tongue around your bud, and dips inside your dripping hole in manic patterns. "Mm, I'm guessing you missed my pussy, too?" You ask seductively, allowing yourself to relax and enjoy his relentless chow-down.

"Yes. So much. You taste so fuckin' sweet. Best pussy in the world." Eddie answers frantically between strokes and flicks of his tongue. You're already building up towards an orgasm, unable to believe how quickly it's coming to be. But everything about this is driving you insane with pleasure. His crazed movements, the depraved moans and slurps he makes as he drinks you all up, his fingers digging into your thighs, his crotch rutting against the bed as he struggles for some friction of his own. He's completely unhinged, untamed. And it won't take long at all to make you cum.

"Keep going, Eds. You feel so good...such a perfect boy for me..." You whimper, grinding your hips against his face. Your hands are tangled in his hair, tugging repeatedly as you move with him. You're both an absolute mess, grabbing at one another any way you possibly can as he eats you out like you're his last meal. Eddie ups the stakes, adding two thick, ringed fingers inside your pussy, pumping them in and out at a rapid pace. "Fuck! Oh, Eddie...you're gonna make me cum already. Don't stop, please." You feel like your mind is melting, unable to comprehend how amazing everything feels.

"Cum for me, sweetheart. Soak my face like a good little slut." Eddie commands, his tone pitched and broken. He's been steadily humping the bed this whole time, driven so far out of control by the taste, smell, and sound of you. Once you let it all go, so will he. A big sticky mess in his boxers, all because of you. He curls his fingers harder and faster inside you, and sucks harshly on your clit to send you flying over the edge.

"Eddie! Fuck!" You cry out as an unbelievable high violently rips through you. Your thighs clamp down around his head, nails digging into his scalp. Your muscles spasm, and you completely soak Eddie's face and the sheets with your cum. He groans into your pussy once you've given him what he wants, his load spilling inside his pants, hips bucking a few final times against the mattress to ride out his orgasm. But he doesn't stop there, he crawls back up to you to press his cum-soaked lips to yours. You're still trying to catch your breath, but you meet him in the middle anyway. "Baby, I want more, I want you. All of you, over and over again, please?" You beg clumsily between those same starving kisses from before. It's like you can't help yourselves, clamoring for every bit of pleasure that you can get, completely drunk with lust.

"You'll get everything you want, angel. I promise. I won't stop until you beg me to." Eddie pants, leaving a sticky trail of arousal on your skin as he kisses every last inch of you he can reach. It's gonna be a long night. That first orgasm was far too quick, not nearly enough to satisfy you. It's a good thing you don't have a damn thing to worry about tomorrow. No work, or school, or heartbreak. All you have to focus on now, is each other.

To be continued...

#fanfiction #hippiegoth97 #smut #stranger things #eddie munson #hawkins #1980s #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x henderson!reader #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x you

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happilyjoyfulcrow · 3 days ago

Text

Only You Would

Neteyam x Reader

Word count: 650

Summary: While you and Neteyam go into the forest and have a little talk about mating.

Warnings: None! Enjoy!

🌿~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~🌿~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~🌿

Being a healer was something that you had dreamed of. You loved helping others. What you didn't realize was just how much foraging you would have to do. But you got used to it. Often going out after eclipse to get anything needed for tomorrow.

What you didn't plan on was Neteyam joining you. It seemed any time you would be heading out into the forest he would be right there to join you.

"It's not safe to go out late alone" or "it will be faster if I come" were some of his go-to responses for why he should come along. And he wasn't wrong. So everytime you allow him to accompany you.

This was one such night out that you two went into the forest. You both had collected everything needed and we're heading back in silence.

"Hey" Neteyam said out of the blue, stopping you by grabbing onto your elbow when the village came into view. "Thanks for letting me come with you. I really needed to clear my head for a bit."

"Neteyam you always come with me. Why is this any different?" You asked, turning towards him.

His mood seemed to shift, by the way his eyes had darkened and his tail stopped swishing when he looked at his family’s marui.

"I know I just…" Neteyam started but stopped when he couldn't find the right words.

"What's wrong?" you asked gently. "Or is it too personal?" Whatever it was, you wanted to help in any way you could.

Neteyam rubbed the back of his neck. "My mom and dad have been trying to have a conversation with me for a couple of days. A conversation I really don’t want to have." He looked at his home, biting the inside of his checks. You nodded gently urging him to continue. He cleared his throat, refusing to meet your gaze. "They want me to find a mate."

"Oh?" you said, trying to find his eyes.

"And it’s not that I don’t want a mate," he quickly added. "I do. It's just whoever I mate with will have to bear a lot of responsibility and I don’t want to force that on anyone. I know what it's like to have so much responsibility thrust upon you that you didn’t ask for."

You laughed. You didn't mean to but you couldn't help it up. Neteyam whipped his head around his braids flying.

"Why are you laughing?" Neteyam said, finally meeting your eyes.

"Only you would say something like that" you laughed walking once more.

"Say something like what?" Neteyam said, jumping in front of you, stopping you again.

"When people think of mating they think of themselves." You started saying, walking around neteyam only for him to come right next to you. "They think 'how will this person be hunting with me?' or 'will they be a good parent to my children?' But you are already thinking about someone you haven't even met yet." Shaking your head. Neteyam stayed silent staring at the ground.

"Neteyam" you stop grabbing him by the shoulders and making him look at you. "When the right person comes around they will take all the responsibility of being your mate and more. Because you are an amazing person with a strong heart" you say placing your hand on his chest. "They will come to you in time. All you need to do is love them when they arrive."

You smiled at him. Neteyam searches for anything that tells him you were lying. And when he found none, a gentle smile spread across his face.

"Thank you," was all he could get out.

"Anytime" you shrugged, pulling away. "Well I'm going to drop this off, goodnight Neteyam."

With that you walked away, leaving him standing alone looking at your back knowing that he already found his mate, and all he had to do was love you.

#neteyam #neteyam x reader #neteyam x you #neteyam x y/n #neteyam x na'vi!reader #avatar way of water #avatar twow #avatar 2 #neteyam sully #neteyam suli x reader #fluff #fanfic

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phoenix-eclipses · 2 days ago

Text

Casting Love Intermission

Soulmates weren't an unheard of topic in your youth. From several storybooks in your early education revolving around the romance of soulmates and even adults around you speaking about their soulmates, it was hard to ignore their existence.

You had assumed you didn't have one. You didn't have that string, always depicted as red, that would lead you to your soulmate. You didn't have any lettering on your body, despite checking several times.

The disappointment you had over your lack of a soulmate wasn't unknown by those who lived with you. Babysitters coming and going, trying to comfort you, convince you that perhaps some sort of sign would appear later.

And it did. Only in a form you didn't realize that made you different. Sitting in art class, your teacher insisting on the severe differences between some colors you were looking at. That was when you were brought to a specialist who informed your father about your color blindness.

When your babysitter at the time was informed of this, she immediately took to explaining to you a type of soulmate bond was colorblindness until you met.

That was the last day you had seen her, your father firing her later that day.

Her replacement refused to read stories about soulmates. She didn't want to speak of soulmates at all, shutting it down anytime you brought them up. Instead, she'd sit down next to you, a pitying look on her face and say.

"I know it is hard to not see the world like those around you, but if you stay obsessed with soulmates as you are now, you will also not understand the world."

So you stopped. For two years, you'd zone out as your professors read books about soulmates, no longer listening to every single word. It was only after that two years something changed. You were visting your aunt in Tokyo.

She walked beside you, guiding you to a park that she told you that her and your mother used to frequent in their youth. When you arrived, she allowed you to go play at the playground as she sat and watched on a bench.

Throughout your stay at her place, she brought you to the park each day. Somedays you'd meet some of the kids who live in the neighborhood nearby, getting to play with them as well.

It was on the last day that one of the neighborhood kids who you hadn't seen before appeared. You immediately ran over, excited to make a new friend. You waved at him, slowing down as you stopped right in front of him.

"Hello-"

You froze in your introduction as you looked at him. His golden eyes stared at you in shock as you did the same. You watched as the boy in front of you and the world around him brightened up, colors you had never known existed appearing.

"Woah..." the boy muttered in amazement. You let out a laugh, reaching out and grabbing his hand.

"C'mon! Let's go play!"

He stumbles a bit in your hold but follows after you, the both of you glancing around at the colors. The two of you play until it turns dark, your aunt telling you it was time for you to go home. You wave excitedly at the boy, promising that next time you visited your aunt you'd come to play with him again.

It's over dinner that you inform your aunt that you think the boy is your soulmate. She drops her chopsticks and stares at you in shock for a few minutes.

"Do not tell your father."

That was all she said before continuing to eat. You frown, asking her why you couldn't tell him but she just shook her head and repeated herself.

Despite her lack of explanation, you find yourself listening. When your father picks you up, you don't mention the boy, you only speak of the other kids you had become friends with. You don't tell him about the colors that you could now see surrounding the two of you.

But you do tell your babysitter. After a week of not telling anyone, you can't hold back your excitement and as she attempts to deny to read you a book about soulmates, you find yourself blurting out the fact that you did have one.

"I met him! In Tokyo! You can even ask Auntie!"

Your babysitter frowns. Pulling out a book from the high shelves in your room, not a book about soulmates. And she reads it to you, not speaking to you about your soulmate.

You assume that's just how she would treat it, even with the knowledge of you having one, she wouldn't speak of them.

But she does speak of them. She shared it with your father. The next day he informed you that you would no longer be going to Tokyo to visit your aunt. You could still see her, but she would be coming over to Miyagi.

"I don't want you returning to speak to that boy."

You cast a look at your babysitter who refuses to meet your eye. It stays silent in the room, your father's words being treated like the law. You never went back to Tokyo to visit your aunt, though she made sure to frequently come over to visit you. She apologizes to you, promise she'd find a way to bring you to find your soulmate.

It only takes another two years for your father to decide to limit your meetings. Small family meals with him present, able to hear all of your conversation. And soon, not even those happen.

It's not until you graduate from Aoba Johsai and inform your father that you were going to attend Tokyo University, with or without his help, that you are able to return to Tokyo.

Back to the park, no longer aware of the name of your soulmate. All you remember is that golden color that was the first color you could ever see. But even then, in a world full of color and so many people, there was no way to ever find him again.

After all, there was no guarantee he'd even remain in Tokyo. Even if he did, who's to say he hadn't already had his heart casted in the direction of another after you had failed to fulfill your promise to see him again?

0.17 -- Masterlist -- 1.1

Notes

This honestly was finished like the day I posted 0.17 and then some of it didn't properly save so I didn't rewrite it until today lol

Thought it'd be kinda cool to like dive more into their like first meeting and also kind of why Y/N isn't sure about finding their soulmate but also kinda wants to

Ahhh I'm almost done with this semester so yay

Divider credits @cafekitsune and @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

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#Haikyuu #Haikyuu!!#Hq #Haikyuu smau #Hq smau #Kozume kenma #Hq kenma #Haikyuu kenma #Kenma x reader #Kozume kenma x reader #Haikyuu x reader #X reader #Smau #Gn reader

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stars1997 · 17 hours ago

Note

I’m here to make a rempe request 🤠 he looked way too good during the stampede. anyway you can write something up where you go there and you bump into him and start dancing and then he goes on to try to win you a stuffed animal playing one of those little corny carnival games.

Rodeo Fun

Paring(s): Matt Rempe x reader

Warnings: Fluff!

“Come on!” You say grabbing your cowboy hat off the hook by the front door. Your friend comes hopping around the corner trying to put her boot on.

“Sorry. I had to make sure that my top was on right.” Her foot finally slides into her boot when she reaches the door.

You both rush out the door excitement rolling over the both of you. this is your favorite time of the year. This will be your third year going.

You both get out of the car. The crowd to get it is huge, and it only seems to be getting bigger.

“Come on I want to make sure that we get good seats for the show. Preferably next to the bull riders.” y/f/n said grabbing your hand and pulling you into the crowd.

Once you're finally in your in shock at what you see, you always are. People everywhere running around eating, drinking, and playing games. You turn to your friend, and both of you let out a squeal of excitement.

She grips your hand harder and pulls you again. she’s weaving through the crowd of people like a pro. But you on the other hand can’t seem to stop bumping into people.

You look down at your phone to check to time for one second when you run into something hard, stopping you and your friend in your tracks. You look up to see a very tall man standing before you. all this seemed to happen so fast. he turns to look at who ran into him. your eyes lock your mouth falls open to apologies, but no words come out. He smirks at you before you are pulled away by your friend again.

“Come on! It’s starting!” she says to you before turning to the tall mystery man.

“I apologize for her clumsiness, but we got to get going now.” he doesn’t even spare your friend a glance. His eyes focused on you, even as you were pulled away from him. You shake your head a little, almost like you’re breaking a trance.

The day felt like it went by so fast yet so slow. You and your friend have done so many things that didn’t even scratch the surface of things you could do here. You were having so much fun. But one thing played in the back of your mind all day, and that was the handsome, tall man that you bumped into earlier.

You and your friend stopped to get a drink before you went to the concert that was being held in a few minutes. you love country music and were so excited to go and dance. Your friend handed you your drink before pulling you along so you would be able to find a good spot at the concert.

When you go there the music has already started. it was one of your favorite songs, so you started singing along, holding your drink in the air before moving your hips to the beat. You turn around to look at your friend but are met with a torso you look up to see the man you bumped into.

“Hi, I’m Matt.” he sticks his hand out for you to shake.

“I’m y/n.” you shake his hand, your hand engulfed in his.

“Mind if I dance with you? I mean, it’s the least you could do after you ran over me earlier.” You let out a laugh. You shake your head, yes. He smiles, looking down at you before turning you around and pulling you back into him.

Your hips moved in sync with the music. his body towered over you. his hand on your hip just felt right. You spent the rest of the concerts singing and dancing with Matt. The sun is starting to go down. Matt took out his phone to text his group that he was going to be taking you to the carnival games. You texted your friend the same thing telling her that you would meet up with her at the ticket booth later. She sends a thumbs-up in response.

You put your phone in your back pocket and look over to Matt who is already looking at you. he smiles at you reaching his hand out to take yours. You make your way over to the carnival games. You pointed to one of the booths, it was the one where you had to toss the balls into the bucket and have them stay in.

“I want to try this one.” You pull him over to it and take out some of the tickets you got earlier handing them to the lady behind the counter. She hands you three baseballs and moves out of the way.

You pick one and get into the stance to throw it. You toss the ball into the bucket, but it bounced out and onto the ground. You tossed the two other balls and they both stayed in. You got to pick out a small prize. Taking the small toy from the woman’s hands you turn around to show Matt.

“Look it’s so cute.” You move the stuffed animal, so it looks like it’s doing a little dance.

“Where too next?” He asks you. look around trying to find a fun game to play next. That’s when you spot the biggest stuffed animal you have ever seen in your life. You let out a shriek and point to the big stuffed dog.

You both walk over to the stand once you are close enough to see it you notice that it is a ring toss stand. You let out a huff.

“Dude ring toss is like the worst.” You say as you turn to look at Matt. Matt told you not to worry and that he’s got this. He hands the lady the tickets and she gives Matt two big buckets of rings. It didn’t take Matt long to go through both buckets.

He takes out more tickets and hands them to the lady. The goal was to get one of the rings onto the center golden glass bottle. This time Matt took his time. He made sure that every ring was tossed with the right force to at least hit the center bottle.

He was down to his last few rings. It felt like you both have been standing here for so long. You have watched every move he has made. He was super determined to get you this giant stuffed animal.

You didn’t even notice that he was down to his last ring. He tossed it and it went flying through the air for what felt like so long. But when it landed it landed right around the neck of the golden bottle. You let out a loud cheer catching the attention of one of the workers.

“Congratulations! Would you like the big dog or the big cat?” the worker looked at Matt as she asked the question, but Matt was only looking at you. you respond to the worker saying that you will take the big dog. The worker nods and leaves to go and get one for you.

You couldn’t have had a better night. You and Matt spent the rest of the day talking and trying food. He made sure you didn’t have to lug around the big stuffed dog all day. When the sun started to go down, you got a text from your friends that said to meet her at the ticket booth. Matt walked with you to meet your friend. When you got to her, you saw that she was hanging out with Matt’s sister and friends.

When she saw the both of you, her eyes widened. Looking at the big stuffed puppy that you told Matt you could carry now. a huge smile stretches across your face, then hers. You stood and talked with everyone for a bit. Matt standing next to you with his hand resting on your lower back. your friend leans over to whisper in your ear,

“You need to tell me everything.” You nod your head. You say bye to everyone. Exchanging numbers with Matt before your friend dragged you to the car. when you go into the car, you both turn to each other and let out a loud squeal. She starts up the car backing out of the parking spot.

“You know his sister said that he wouldn’t stop talking about you all day after you bumped into him. now tell me everything.” she smirks at you as you talk about what happened between you and Matt.

#hockey smut #smut #hockey imagines #nhl smut #nhl imagine #matt rempe x reader #matt rempe imagine #matt rempe smut #matt rempe #hockey fluff #fluff #matt rempe fluff #matt rempe fic

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louisaland · 2 days ago

Text

Just a little ( well, quite big, really!) piece I wrote as I wanted more to this episode.

Missing Scenes from Sophomore Jinx

Just after Maureen sneaks down to help with dinner prep

« Lizzie, honey, can you go get Maureen for dinner, please? » Elliot asked his youngest child, as Kathy began dishing up the steak and fries they were having.

« I can do it, Dad! », Kathleen volunteered, as Lizzie scampered upstairs.

« Sweetheart, if I wanted to call Maureen down by standing at the bottom of the stairs, I’d do it myself. » Elliot replied, musing that Lizzie was the only member of the family that Maureen was currently speaking to and therefore the one with the highest chance of getting her to come down for dinner.

« Come on, Maureen, it’s steak and fries! If you don’t hurry Daddy will steal your fries! » Lizzie pleaded, knowing full well that Maureen always complained when their dad did that.

« OK, fine, I’m coming » Maureen grumbled.

« How about you sit next to Daddy for meals now? » Maureen suggested as they made their way downstairs to the kitchen, knowing that her place at the table was sought after, nay, coveted, by all her siblings, and when she agreed to swap with them, it was a big deal.

« Yeah, Mo! Thank you! But does that mean you don’t love Daddy anymore? « Lizzie questioned, eyes wide with surprise at her good fortune, but her tone was worried, as the tension between her big sister and their father was palpable.

« He’s just being a total douch… uh, dope! » she corrected herself, not wanting to get in even more trouble for using « bad language » in front of her younger siblings. And was it really bad language is it was the truth, she mused.

When she and Lizzie reached the table, Maureen grabbed her plate and her sister’s, swapping them around before either of her parents could scold her. She banged her plate down loudly and proceeded to keep her eyes on it as much as possible throughout the meal.

« Lizzie, please ask the man sitting next to you for the salt » she asked, stabbing her fork into her steak as if she were trying to kill the cow it came from.

« Maureen… » Elliot began, before falling back into silence as Kathy reached over and put her hand on his arm, shooting him a look.

« Here, honey » he continued, handing the salt cellar to the daughter sitting next to him.

« Thank you, Daddy », she replied, before handing it to her eldest sibling.

Dickie and Kathleen glanced at each other, both equally as uncomfortable with the unusual quietness that had descended upon mealtimes a few days ago.

As soon as Maureen had finished her bowl of chocolate mousse, she got up from the table with her glass, bowl and spoon, pulled open the dishwasher violently, slammed everything in so it clattered loudly against all the other utensils and plates that were in there. She then pushed the door shut with a crash, and stomped all the way upstairs.

There were a few seconds of respite, before her bedroom door banged shut loudly.

Elliot sighed and met his wife’s gaze again. He knew he’d come down too hard on his daughter, but backing down now would just give her free rein to do whatever she wanted and get into who-knows-what kind of trouble. If only he’d taken 5 minutes to talk to her when he’d caught her sneaking out…

Later that evening

« I’ll take the other three to school tomorrow, El. Maybe if you’re in an enclosed space together you’ll be able to talk to Maureen » Kathy said, rubbing cream into her hands.

« OK, I’ll try anything at this point, baby. Am I really so much of an ogre that she can’t talk to me? » Elliot sighed, slumping down on their bed.

« Elliot, honey, you’re a cop and she’s a teenager who is growing up and pushing you off the pedestal she’s had you on. You’re not an ogre, but she’s extremely stubborn… Can’t think who she gets that from » Kathy responded, trying to reassure her worried husband.

« Hmm, yeah, me neither, only 3 out of 4 of our kids are… » Elliot mused.

The next morning.

« Maureen! Breakfast! Now! » Kathleen yelled from the bottom of the stairs.

About 30 seconds later, Maureen stomped down the stairs, flung her school bag into the hallway next to the coat and shoe closet and entered the kitchen.

She grabbed her glass from the table, made her way to the fridge to pour herself a glass of juice, which she downed, before putting her glass in the sink. She also took out a yoghurt, which she placed on the table before sitting in what used to be Lizzie’s seat. She grabbed a banana and glowered at the other 5 people who were also eating their breakfast.

« OK, Kathleen, Dickie and Lizzie, we’re going in 10 minutes. That means teeth and hair brushed, coats and shoes on and bags and lunches properly packed, ready to go, alright? » Kathy declared.

A chorus of agreement from the children she had addressed echoed around the table.

« Wait a minute, Mom! What about me? » Maureen exclaimed, mouth and eyes opening widely.

« I have an errand to run after dropping your siblings off at school, so your dad’s taking you » Kathy explained.

Maureen’s eyes narrowed, her free hand formed a fist and she banged it on the table.

« Mom! No! You can take me too, or I can get the subway. I’d rather walk! » she said, frowning deeply and a look that could kill in her eyes.

« Maureen, the high school is in completely the opposite direction to school and the bank, but it’s on the way to the precinct. Your dad’s taking you and that’s the end of this discussion » Kathy replied, trying her best to keep her tone calm and even.

« Fine! » Maureen humphed, shooting daggers with her glare at her mother.Several minutes later, Maureen tidied up after herself, then made her way upstairs to clean her teeth and check her hair and makeup.

When she came back down, she called out « I’m ready! », grabbed the car keys off the hook in the hallway that was marked with a D, picked up her bag and went to sit in the passenger seat of her dad’s car. She would normally have tossed the keys to her dad, and they would have made their way outside together.

Once she’d got her seatbelt on, her father emerged from the house, holding his briefcase, sunglasses on his nose and house keys in his other hand.

He deftly locked the front door and got into the driver’s seat. As he put on his seatbelt, he glanced at his daughter.

She swiftly turned her head, finding the view out of her window suddenly fascinating.

This would normally be a special father-daughter moment, with Maureen choosing the music and them either both singing along (well, more Maureen teaching him the lyrics, occasionally letting out a « Daddy! Those aren’t the right words! » if it was a song currently in the charts. Or they would just chat, usually teasing each other affectionately.

The radio remained untouched, and the silence between them was deafening.

The journey to Maureen’s school seemed to take an eternity, though all the lights were green, which put paid to his plan to try to initiate conversation when the car was not in motion.

When they pulled up to school and she got out of the car without even saying goodbye or even looking at him, Elliot decided he had to take action.

« Maureen! Wait a minute! » he called out.

She stopped in her tracks and looked at him, annoyance written across her face and the look in her eyes as cold and hard as ice.

At the precinct

« Yeah, we’re OK now, baby. I think we covered all the bases of a reconciliation as she said sorry, I told her I loved her, we hugged and had a proper goodbye, so I call that a success. Kathleen has swimming tonight, right? And Dickie’s been really keen to go to that indoor play area with the climbing wall and ball pit. I know I said I’d take him at the weekend, but could you take him and Lizzie there? I’ve missed hanging out with Maureen, I think we could do with a bit of uninterrupted bonding time… We can pick up dinner if we head out somewhere, if that helps? » Elliot said, well aware that this was a big but necessary ask.

« Yeah, sure, El. Lizzie’s got a playdate, so that’s perfect. Maybe Dickie will actually burn off some of his energy and we’ll have a quiet dinner, hmm? » his wife replied.

« Well, miracles can happen! See you at 6 at home, then? And thanks, baby! » Elliot answered, looking forward to having some quality time with his eldest child.

They exchanged I love yous and hung up.

Outside Maureen’s high school

The final bell of the day rang out, and, seconds later, a tsunami of chattering students spilled out of the building, flooding the steps and the area in front of the entrance. Elliot stood a little taller next to his car, seeking out his daughter’s golden hair and bright, tinkling laugh. She emerged, arm-in-arm with her two best friends, Hannah and Sophie. They were giggling about something. Hannah looked over in his direction, nudged his daughter, pointed to where he was standing and asked her something. Her face clouded with worry, wiping the smile from her face and dulling the joyous sparkle in her eyes. She exchanged a few words and quick hugs with her friends before dashing over to him.

« Daddy! Hi! Is everyone OK? » she gasped, slightly winded from her sprint.

« Yeah, everyone and everything are fine, honey. I didn’t mean to scare you, sorry. » Elliot explained, gently placing his hands on her shoulders. She squeezed him around his middle and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

He smoothed her hair and cupped her face with his hands, just like he had that morning.

« Everyone else is out until dinner time, so how about we do something together? We could even go to the mall if you want! » he told his daughter.

« But Daddy, you hate the mall! You call it a bottomless money pit! And anyway, it’s a school night and I have a ton of homework, so can we just go home, please? » Maureen replied, flashing her father a happy smile.

« As you wish », Elliot declared, opening the passenger side door for his daughter.

She grinned at the quote from one of her favourite movies and got into the vehicle.

Elliot got into the driver’s side and they headed home.

At the Stabler residence.

« Thanks Dad! » Maureen said, as Elliot handed her a plate of apple slices spread with peanut butter and a handful of crackers. She placed the dish next to her glass of chocolate milk and returned her attention to her Latin homework.

Her father finished preparing his coffee and came to sit at the table opposite his daughter and her gigantic pile of books, papers and pens. She certainly hadn’t lied when she’d told him she had a lot of homework, but then again, she was the one who had pushed to be able to take as many AP classes as she could.

« Ugh! Why did I choose to take Latin as well as French and Spanish? All the languages are getting mixed up in my brain! » she muttered, mostly to herself.

« Want some help, honey? » Elliot asked, frowning slightly at his daughter who put so much unnecessary pressure on herself to do everything perfectly and for whom a B+ was a disappointing grade. That was all Kathy, she had definitely been the better student between the two of them. If only she could transfer some of it to Kathleen, who was content to do the bare minimum and just scrape a C.

Maureen nodded and handed him her Latin flashcards.

« OK, the verb to love in the present tense. You’ve got this, sweetheart » he said, gently encouraging his daughter.

Maureen took a deep breath, then looked at him blankly.

She shook her head in despair.

« Want a clue? » Elliot offered.

« Yeah, thanks » Maureen replied.

« Who are you? » he asked.

« If I am an El, you are a… »

« Amo, right? » Maureen giggled in spite of herself.

She thought for a second, recalling the verb that she had committed to memory perfectly days before.

« Then it’s amas, amat… » she continued, making the shape of a church with her fingers for the first one and pointing at the rug in the hallway for the second.

She finished conjugating the verb perfectly then moved on to her Spanish vocabulary.

She teasingly corrected Elliot’s terrible accent, which was completely justified, in his opinion.

Once she had finished, she read through her English essay. It was only a second rough draft, and it wasn’t due for another couple of weeks, but she wanted to get it underway.

Once she was satisfied with her work, she neatly put all her things away in her bag, which she placed in the hallway.

Then she turned her attention to the kitchen counter and her father, who had started preparing dinner. Elliot silently handed her a red bell pepper with a smile, and she busied herself finding a chopping board and a knife before joining him in the cutting up of vegetables for the pasta sauce they were going to be eating.

They chatted aimiably, Maureen giving him some of the gossip from school, how the football team were doing, explaining why she never wanted to be a cheerleader, that she wanted to do more actual writing for the newspaper, as how was she ever going to be a journalist if she never got any writing experience?

Suddenly, the doorbell rang.

« Keep an eye on the pasta, please, Mo? » Elliot asked, as he made his way to the front door.

If he were a betting man, he would put money on it being his second eldest daughter, who was seemingly trying to not only beat the Olympic record for her butterfly, but also for the number of times house keys were forgotten.

He checked the peep-hole, his suspicions confirmed and opened the door to Kathleen. Mrs Simmons, her friend Ashley’s mom, honked her horn and waved at him from her car, before driving off.

« Kathleen! You know the point of having house keys is that you take them with you, right? » he remonstrated.

She dumped her backpack and her sports bag in the middle of the hall and sighed dramatically.

« Sorry, Daddy, I’ll remember them tomorrow, I promise! » she replied, turning as if to go upstairs.

« Uh-huh, that’s what you told me twice last week and yesterday, honey? One of these days, you’re gonna come home and no-one will be in. What are you gonna do if you don’t have your keys, huh? » he reproached her.

« Go to the neighbours’, stay with Ashley and her mom til someone comes home, go see if Mom’s taken Dickie and Lizzie to the park… Or yeah, I could just remember my keys! » she declared, taking note on the disapproving look on her father’s face.

He ceremoniously handed her the keys hanging on the hook marked with a K, jangling the big metal K, the Jets logo and a chunk of moonstone on a chain that were attached to the keychain.

As she rose after crouching down to put the offending item in her school bag,

Elliot cupped her face gently.

« Let’s try this again, OK? » , he announced.

« Hi, honey », he continued, before kissing her forehead.

« Hi Daddy », she replied, before launching into a recap of her swimming training where the coach had praised her improved technique in butterfly, which she had practised on Saturday morning when they had gone to the pool for their one-on-one Daddy-daughter quality time.

Elliot grinned at her, gave her a thumbs up and a high-five, before sending her upstairs to shower ( and hopefully put her swimming stuff away, but that was almost certainly wishful thinking on his part).

He returned to the kitchen and resumed his culinary tasks.

Maureen had set the table, and everything was on the stove, where it could be kept warm until everyone was back and ready to eat.

Kathleen arrived from upstairs, hair damp and wearing her checked blue pyjamas.

She curled up on the couch, and as she picked up the remote, Elliot asked her if her homework was done. She replied in the negative, whining that all she had to do was reading for tomorrow.

« Well then, Kathleen, I think you can guess what your options are? » he replied.

He could practically hear his daughter’s eye-roll from across the room.

« Ugh, yeah, do the reading or help with dinner. Fine, I’ll do the reading! » she declared, making a big show of getting up and retrieving the novel from her backpack. She theatrically collapsed into the couch and began her assignment.

The sound of the front door opening was followed by a rush of fast footsteps and an exuberant shout of « Daddy! » that could only come from his little boy.

He turned the handle of the pan that was full of bubbling pasta sauce just in time to avoid it going all over his son, who he picked up to hug.

Of course Dickie hadn’t taken his coat or shoes off before greeting him.

His little boy was chattering about how he had « the best day ever, Daddy! » because he’d climbed right up to the top of the climbing wall, had jumped higher than a kangaroo into the ball pit and had run so so fast in the race he’d taken part in at recess. Elliot carried him back to the hallway so he could take off his outerwear and put it away correctly, like his youngest and his wife were doing. Dickie had been peppering his mostly one-sided conversation with kisses to his father’s cheeks. Elliot returned the gesture, before placing him on the floor with precise instructions on what the next steps were.

Lizzie hugged his legs and he bent to kiss her hair with a « Hi, pumpkin. Good day at the office? » which made her giggle. She nodded and made her way to the living area to do some reading, colouring or quiet playing until dinner time. Dickie followed behind, pretending to be a dinosaur.

He finally greeted his wife with a kiss.

« Lizzie and her friend, Charlotte, ended up coming to the soft play too » she explained.

« I’ll let you guess which one of our children did their homework quietly then sat and drew pictures or played in the pretend kitchen area and which one decided they will be retiring at the end of first grade and wanted to show everyone their pterodactyl impression » she continued, as she and her husband made their way into the family room.

Kathleen and Maureen were bickering, Dickie was running around, squawking loudly and Lizzie was carefully placing her rabbit family of Calico Critters in their tastefully decorated home.

It was noisy, chaotic but full of love and laughter, and Elliot just loved it. He was looking forward to have Maureen back in her usual seat at the table and to hear her talking to everyone again.

Maureen and her dad

Don't you understand? You're innocent, but the world, it's what I see day in, day out. You want to sneak out in the middle of the night, have a little fun with your friends. I end up picking up your body parts in the middle of Jersey.

SVU 1x06 Sophomore Jinx

#law and order svu #svu stabler being a dad

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solavillain · 1 year ago

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is it too much to ask for people to just. make time for me.

why am i always the one asking "hey want to do x"

80% of the time the answer is no anyway.

i want quality time with my friends but i'm starting to believe i don't have many left.

#“oh but caitlin you see them for holidays and birthdays!”#so fucking what #they're hightailing it out of those things by 10/11pm anyway too #no one ever wants to see me. and btw im including just hopping on discord calls in all this #the only time i get together with this particular group of friends is if my other friend is in town from NC #and even then im like a second thought to these people #why the fuck do i keep trying #every time this happens i tell myself i'm done asking #and then the next day i try again only to be met with no AGAIN #im so. profoundly lonely

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rxtgallows · 1 year ago

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being the same age as most long term lolitas were when they started getting into it but its different now bc there is just so much less of a community it feels like... like for me i feel more like i am finding a lot of individuals but no local communities bc its just rlly died down i think... like i found a 2013 pph article about a lolita meetup downtown. i dont think that wld happen now even if i COULD find a local community

#i think if theres not a lolita tea party/panel this year at pcm i will host one next year...#by then ill have been actively in the subculture for like a year and ill know a little more.. rn im JUST starting out i wld have no clue #what to do... but like i have ideas for stuff that wld be soo fun and ive always wanted to host/participate in an event or panel #once i was picked to participate in the fandom state alchemist test or w/e its called but then they wldnt let me after they saw my boot #which was so fail bc i absolutely cld have done tthe challenges with a broken foot. BLAH anyway #or like i hope they try the jfashion show again UGH probably not since it had to be cancelled due to lack of participation...#i jst would looove to have lolita friends in the area... idk how successful i wld be at converting someone and my sibling doesnt count #or ONE lolita friend... i only know of one lolita in maine and shes pretty well known in the NA lolita community from what i can tell so #ive met her a couple times actually she is very nice. idk what i am trying to say tbh #im more open to making friends at pcm in a lolita context and not a cosplay context bc every cosplayer ive interacted with for more than a #passing comment or picture turned out to be like umm a freak #or one of my moms students <- student who made all the dresses for the haunted town tour cosplaying kanaya that one year and then me showin #my mom the meetup pictures and her going omg.... thats d///////#she was a really really incredibly seamstress btw her costumes were beautiful. anyway. iconic.#i think probably i havent talked to anyone in a while and it is wearing me down i have to make these massive posts every day

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lokissweater · 2 months ago

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little mouse

{toge inumaki x f!reader}

summary: toge inumaki, the barista at your local campus coffee shop, is the cutest man to ever cross your life— the both of you clicking fast and becoming the best of friends as the years flew by together… but you were in love. uncertain of crossing that line between friendship and lovers as you focused mainly on trying to see if he even liked you back. but as for toge? he was focused on trying not to burden you for the rest of your life because of his inability to speak, wanting you and only you, but juggling and tormented over his labored silent existence, hurting you in the process.

warnings: MDNI. afab!reader, college!au, FLUUUFFFF SO MUCH, pet names, TOGE LOVES YOU BROOO, angst!!! but with comfort!!, happy ending, SMUTTTT, p in v sex, fingering, creampie, doggy hehe, mentions of alcohol and drinking, sorority party, toge is a barista ouuu, cursing, best friends to lovers trope, reader and toge argue, all characters are aged up.

word count: 15.2k

authors note: YEEEOOOOWWWWW this fic was originally NOOTTTT supposed to be 15k but i’ve said it once and i’ll say it again I CAN NEVA STOP YAPPING MY GOD??? i hope you guys love this one as much as i do though it is SOOOOOO CUTEEE man :(( thank you SO SO MUCH for your love and support as ALWAYS, AND I LOVE YOUUUU AHHH MWAH MWAH HAVE A GOOD DAY OKAY <333

anyone that was a regular at the shop knew toge inumaki didn’t really ever speak.

and it was something you found out on your first day of college, running to the nearest coffee shop at eight-thirty in the fucking morning looking for something to snack on and wake you up before lecture, choosing to go to the one just around the corner from campus through a recommendation of a friend— but not knowing at all that you were about to run into the cutest man to ever plague your god damn existence, as well as your bestest friend in the entire world.

toge was the main barista and cashier at the shop, his mixology skill incomparable as no one else on the floor could replicate it successfully without errors the way he did— ringing customers up while simultaneously throwing coffee bases and syrups in a blender, topping each corresponding one with whipped cream on various orders before sliding it over to the pick up counter, all without even breaking a sweat through the times that you’ve shamefully watched him work from your little table before or after classes.

the first time you met him, you thought he was just having a bad day… and that he also hated you.

you had politely told him your order while at the same time ogling his handsome face— a small and simple sweet vanilla cold brew drink with a little blueberry scone on the side— when toge didn’t even spare you a glance and just tapped in your order on the screen, turning the tablet over to showcase the total before moving to the back to get started on your drink, not a single word leaving his scarf covered mouth as you silently paid and got a table.

it’s not like you were expecting anything out of it, but you hoped you would at least catch the color of his eyes before you had to leave.

and it went on like that for a total of four days— you saying the exact same order but just switching up the little pastry depending on your mood (it only consisting of your usual three— blueberry scone, cake pop, and cheese danish), toge’s eyes never leaving the register or drinks he made as you waited, and him sliding over your order in record time as he got started on attending the next customer.

on the fifth day, toge finally looked up.

the way he took your order didn’t change, but when it came to placing it over the pick up counter where you stood, your eyes widened when you noticed he was already looking at you, a grin on his face as he personally handed you your drink instead of sliding it over.

his eyes were purple.

and you just about fucking screamed, your days of hopelessly coming in to try and ridiculously take longer peeks at his face whenever you could finally paying off in that moment— and not expecting whatsoever to see the sides of his mouth marked with tattooed snake eyes either.

that day was also the day you noticed toge knew sign language.

most of the time toge took orders quickly without a word and punched in requests, but from time to time when a customer had a question about a menu item or what the passcode to the bathroom was, he always had a little whiteboard next to him with a black marker to scribble out what he needed to say— regulars already knowing how he communicated and not batting a single strange eye.

but on that day, a new customer came in that you didn’t recognize to be a regular, signing to one of the confused employees at the cash register until the employee turned around and tapped toge on the shoulder, pointing and saying words you couldn’t really hear before he quickly nodded and put down the blender he was holding, going over to sign.

you were mesmerized by it, the way his hands and fingers came together and away from each other to form different words and sentences completely unknown to those who didn’t understand the language, something that was beautiful to you and made you want to actually learn so you could potentially have the liberty to talk to him some time in the future if you could.

the next time you came into the shop early in the morning, toge was at the register. and upon seeing you walk in, he smoothly looked down and started typing away already on the screen, seemingly not listening and leaving you standing there confused.

“um—” you stammered. “can i…”

you trailed off as you watched him pick up his whiteboard and uncap the marker, scribbling.

‘i remembered your order.’

you froze, your heart doing enormous leaps considering this was the first time toge actually spoke to you apart from getting your order down and smiling at you.

“oh! really?” you laughed nervously. “…do i come in here too often then?”

he gave you a friendly grin and shook his head, erasing what he had before writing again.

‘do you want a blueberry scone, cake pop, or cheese danish?’

your eyes bulged. “you know that too?!”

he laughed, the sound making your hands clammy as you giggled along with him shyly.

“i’ll do a cake pop today!” you smiled. “i’m running a little late and that’s— easy to eat.. you know—”

he gave you a thumbs up and nodded, signaling with his head for you to wait by the pick up counter as he scribbled another few words, turning the whiteboard around.

‘i’ll see you tomorrow :)’

your cheeks flushed pink.

“y—yeah!” you spoke gingerly. “i’ll see you toge.”

the next few times after that toge would absolutely beam whenever you came into the shop, having already scribbled down your three choices of your usual pastries before having it ready for you at the pick up counter once you chose, even every now and then asking you a simple thing or two about your classes and major from the register as you sat by your table, him propping his little whiteboard up for you to see.

and ever since you saw that toge knew sign language, you wanted to know too, your desire to communicate with him more efficiently a silly priority on your mind as you signed up for entry level sign language courses at your college, trying to learn as much as you possibly could so it’d be easier for him not always having to step back and write.

“wait wait!” you put your hands out one slow morning upon arriving at the shop, toge stopping mid tap on the screen just as he was about to input your order, eyeing you.

your fingers shook a little as you slowly signed your order and choice of pastry for the day, trying to remember and grasp what you practiced repeatedly the night before, hoping your efforts would successfully come across and that you didn’t look like a fucking idiot.

but his focused eyes followed your movements, carefully watching you sign with pinched brows until you eventually finished— a slow pearly white smile spreading across is face as his gaze flickered to yours before writing on his whiteboard, turning it.

‘you know sign language?’

“barely!” you sputtered. “i um.. i started taking classes a couple of months ago but i’m not very good… did you— get it though? what i said?”

he quickly nodded.

‘it was a little choppy but good! good job y/n :)’

you breathed out a sigh of relief, a hand over your hammering chest as you swallowed.

“oh thank god.” you breathed. “i was worried i looked stupid or was accidentally telling you something weird.”

he laughed and waved you off, a slight tint to his cheeks as he wrote.

‘how’s learning it overall?’

“hard as fuck.” you mumbled, but peering up at him with a smile. “i’m trying though! i really love the language and i love learning it… it’s just hard because my professor kind of sucks and teaches it too fast.”

he hummed, moving around in the back while preparing your order before coming around through the little swinging door and over to your usual table, you standing dumbfounded at the register still as he stood there with your pastry and his whiteboard.

toge pointed to your seat.

“oh!” you gasped, walking over and taking a seat, smiling gratefully once he placed your coffee and cheese danish down for you, but stiffening once he scooched the chair out across from you and sat, your cheeks ablaze again.

“you wanna—” you looked at him with furrowed brows. “you wanna sit with me?”

he laughed a little and nodded.

“but the…” you pointed to the cash register.

he uncapped his marker and wrote, turning the board over.

‘it’s a slow day. if someone comes in i’ll just go.’

“oh— okay!” you breathed out nervously, wringing your fingers together as you kept them on your lap.

your thoughts were speeding across every corner of your mind, not knowing exactly why toge chose to sit with you right now but hanging on to the moment anyways, you anxiously trying to come up with things to say to get to know him a little better.

“i like your um..” you pointed to the corners of your mouth. “—your tattoos. did they hurt?”

he smiled and wrote.

‘thanks :) and not really, my throat hurts more than the tattooing itself hehe.’

your eyes snapped up to his.

“your throat?” you asked softly. “is it okay?”

‘oh it’s fine!’ he wrote. ‘well no but it just hurts a lot when i talk so i just don’t.’

you hummed in understanding, the missing puzzle as to why exactly toge never spoke out loud to anyone in the first place finally clicking into place.

“i’m sorry toge…” you expressed sweetly. “have you tried— well i assume you have but… like getting it checked out? or maybe honey with lemon or—”

he turned his board around.

‘yeah :P nothing really works. L for me.’

you giggled, and he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth in a smile.

‘can you show me what else you know in sign language?’

“ohhh this is it.” you swallowed. “you’re about to laugh in my face and think i’m stupid.”

he laughed and gave you a look.

‘you’re silly. just show me.’

you huffed before timidly showing him very basic simple phrases that you managed to pick up from class out of the millions that were shown— short choppy kiddy words that didn’t even serve to get by in a quick conversation, but enough for simple one worded responses.

“oh! and i like this one the most!—” you put the bases of your palms together and rubbed a little.

toge let out a squeaky cute laugh as he watched you before quickly picking up his marker and writing.

‘cheese? your favorite thing to sign is cheese?’

“yeah!—” you giggled shyly. “it’s funnn! and i never fuck it up.”

he nodded with a gleam in his eye.

‘i could teach you sign language if you want.’

you froze, eyes wide as you looked at him.

“seriously?” you quickly leaned forward. “are— are you sure? you definitely don’t have to at all toge… i don’t want to burden you or anything.”

his eyebrows furrowed and he shook his head.

‘not burden at all.’ he wrote. ‘i’m a lazy fart i don’t do much besides this so it’s fine.’

you giggled and nodded excitedly, a hopeful shine in your eyes as you looked at him.

“o—okay!” you agreed. “i’d like that a lot… thank you toge!”

he was so nice.

and just as he was about to write something else, a customer came through the doors and up to the cash register, toge quickly scribbling something down before standing and showing you, walking backwards.

‘i’ll talk to you later little mouse :)’

you laughed loudly, a hand flying over your mouth as you did.

that nickname stuck.

“bye toge!” you responded kindly, gathering your things before heading out for the day with your coffee and pastry.

unfortunately for you, midterm season came and knocked the absolute shit out of you for a week, you unable to go back to the coffee shop to see toge until it was all fucking over, your heart heavy over the fact that you literally failed your sign language test, but giddy and excited nonetheless to finally see him after a while and go back to your usual happy routine.

and as for toge, he was left utterly confused.

was he too forward? did you think it was weird when he called you little mouse? did you think he was weird?

was it something he did? why had you stopped coming into the shop after going in continuously for like weeks at this point?

and he had just gotten the courage to look you in the eye too.

toge literally had your order ready every single day with your three pastries warmed up and toasted if need be, your sweet vanilla cold brew drink ready to go the moment you walked through those doors at any given point and time… but you just didn’t come. him leaning on the register counter bored out of his mind and dejected over the disappearance of the pretty nice girl that always came in and talked to him at his work, ending up always drinking the coffee he made for you silently and munching on the three pastries you chose between when it was time to close.

but when you finally came in, early in the morning like you always did and looking forward to seeing him again— toge was hunched over the counter with his chin propped up on his hand like he had been for the past week, you unknowing of that as you walked over with a smile.

“hi toge!”

he shot up, eyes wide with his palms flat on the counter.

“y/n!—”

he spoke.

toge spoke and he immediately cowered over in a fit of painful sounding coughs that racked through his body, his mouth shoved into his elbow as he quickly pushed through the doors and walked to the back, leaving you there wide eyed and completely fucking shocked.

he said your name.

“toge..?” you called softly, timidly as you leaned over the counter to try and catch a look at him from inside the employee break room, still hearing faint coughing. “hey— are you okay?”

he returned to the floor chugging back a bottle of cough syrup like nothing before tossing it into the nearest bin and swallowing, snatching his marker to write on the mini whiteboard, holding it up.

‘where the fuck have you been?’

you looked at him with an apologetic little face, your eyes soft.

“i’m sorryyy!” you whined. “i’m so sorry it was midterm week for me and i was grinding so hard and i just didn’t have time to come in… it was torture.”

you guiltily bit your lip. “…are you mad at me?”

he shook his head slowly, his shoulders visibly relaxing at the confirmation that it wasn’t anything he did that could’ve potentially put you off.

‘not at all mouse :P.’ he wrote before reaching to the side and sliding over your already made coffee and three pastries, lined up.

and surprise crossed your face.

“you had it ready?” you gasped. “toge! thank you!”

you quickly opened your book bag and he placed a hand over your arm, stopping you and shaking his head ‘no.’

“no?” you asked softly. “what do you mean? i’m just gonna pay.”

toge only shook his head again with a small smile, nudging his head over for you to sit at your usual table.

your shoulders slumped. “now what would you do if i just burst out crying right now.”

he laughed loudly and let go of your arm to write, leaving a burning fuzzy feeling on your skin in return.

‘cry? why?’

“because you’re so nice!” you whined. “please let me pay. i already feel bad not coming in for a week… especially after you offered to teach me sign language.”

‘go sit down mouse. i’ll sit with you in a little bit.’

you begrudgingly stood in place before nodding and taking your drink with your bag of pastries, walking over to the side and plopping down on a seat.

toge had a bit of a rush in and couldn’t join you for nearly an hour, him constantly shooting you apologetic looks and you frantically waving him off and reassuring him that it was okay, you astronomically thankful that you didn’t have class that day until later in the evening.

but when the rush was eventually over, toge dropped down on the seat across from yours with a big tired sigh and his whiteboard, head down.

you gently poked his arm then, and he looked up.

“is your throat okay?” you asked, face serious. “and you?”

he nodded, giving you a warm smile before grabbing his marker.

‘it happens sometimes, i just slipped up. L for me again.’

you smiled sadly and retracted your hand from across the table to settle back over your lap.

“i like your voice… if that makes you feel any better.” you spoke shyly, looking down at your fingers.

toge bit the inside of his cheek and smiled cheekily.

‘thanks mouse… but i know something that’ll make me feel even better hehe.’

“what?” you asked curiously.

he wrote.

‘give me your number before you disappear on me again you little rat.’

“hey!” you whined. “i thought i was a mouse..”

he chuckled cutely and nudged your foot gently from underneath the table, erasing and writing again.

‘i’m just kidding. we need to set up those sign language lessons soon though :D.’

and at the reminder of that you groaned, body slumping over the table as toge eyed you confusedly.

“you’re gonna laugh. or be mad. or disappointed. or all three..” you mumbled, voice slightly muffled.

he poked your head repeatedly and you lifted it, chin resting lazily on the table as he looked at you expectantly.

“i failed my sign language midterm.”

toge snorted but quickly slapped a hand over his mouth, and you whined again before shoving your face back down as he quickly shook you by the shoulders, trying to get you to look up again.

“no no no i’m a disgrace i’m a failure i studied so fucking hard for nothing it’s over i’m not cut out—”

he kept shaking and delicately pinching you before you finally looked up again.

“what.” you mumbled, eyes dragging to his propped up whiteboard.

‘i’m sorry i laughed… but don’t worry you’ll pass the next one. you’ll be okay.’

“and how do you know.” you grumbled.

‘because now you have delicious me, duh :P’

you giggled softly and lifted yourself from the table, leaning back against your chair.

he gave you a warm knowing smile before writing again.

‘cheer up mouse… i promise i’ll help you.’

a slow cutesy grin spread across your face, one that made him swallow hard as you looked at him through your lashes.

“thank you toge… do you— do you work tomorrow?”

his gaze flickered up in thought before he shook his head, eyes landing back on yours.

“maybe we could start… tomorrow? if you’re free? and if— if it’s okay of course!” you stammered nervously, gnawing at your bottom lip as you waited for his response.

his cheeks fluttered pink a little before quickly nodding.

“okay!” you breathed excitedly. “great! we could do it here? or—”

he frantically shook his head no and uncapped his marker.

‘my dickhead manager will pull me to work if i’m here on my day off.’

you laughed and nodded. “okay not here then.. where? we can try my place but i already know my parents are gonna be annoying about bringing a guy over so..”

he smiled and looked down to write.

‘we can do my apartment mouse. i live alone.’

your eyes widened. “you have your own place? really?”

he slowly nodded.

“that’s so cool toge! oh my goodness i can’t wait to see it now!”

you bounced enthusiastically in your seat and he chuckled, perplexed as to why you would ever be excited to see something like that, but choosing not to question it.

‘it’s kind of small, and i mainly just sleep and be lazy if i’m not working or streaming.’

you tilted your head. “streaming..?”

he pursed his lips and looked down again to scribble, an embarrassed undertone to his face before propping the whiteboard up.

‘i play games and stream to earn extra money on the side like a little loser.’

you giggled, your eyebrows slightly furrowing before relaxing. “why would that make you a little loser toge? you’re making money while doing something you like… i think that’s really fun!”

an eager attractive grin ran across his face before quickly writing again.

‘i’m glad you think so :) but give me your number neow.’

“oh that’s right!” you beamed, taking his offered whiteboard and marker before quickly writing down your number with a heart in the corner, passing it back.

“just text me whenever and we can set a time for tomorrow okay?”

he nodded, his eyes trained to the heart you drew.

for the rest of his shift, toge spent it bouncing around between your table and back to the cash register to take orders and make drinks, seemingly finishing each beverage ten times fucking faster than usual just so he could come over and talk to you before you had to leave again for your evening class.

but you didn’t want to leave whatsoever, and you even juggled the possibility of skipping class to stay longer with toge, but the next class happened to be sign language, and you didn’t want to fail another fucking midterm by not showing up and missing material.

you threw your trash away before grabbing your book bag and slinging it over your shoulder once it was time, you slowly and timidly trying to get toge’s attention as you walked to the exit.

your shy raised hand caught his eye in between him blending and pouring drinks, toge quickly putting everything down and reaching for the whiteboard from the register, erasing whatever he had from a previous customer to write and flipping it over with a silly smile.

‘bye mouse!’ it read. ‘i’ll see you tomorrow! :P.’

and that was nearly two and a half years ago, the heart you drew in the corner of his whiteboard still there to this day as he answered questions, responded, or scribbled directions in any given situation with it no matter if it was in or outside of work— always wanting to have a little part of you with him wherever he went.

toge also kept his promise and taught you sign language, you trying so so fucking hard every waking day you spent with him at his cute little studio apartment— learning phrases and properly constructing it into sentences that actually made sense as you both sat sprawled on the floor for hours on end, him patient and kind as he watched you shakily sign and accept his gentle corrections with an open mind.

but although your sentences were continuously choppy and a little off at that point in time, they were definitely in way better condition than when you tried to study and learn it on your own… and toge was unsurprisingly a really good teacher— ten times more helpful than your literal freaking licensed professor whom you had started with, as toge would actually take the time to write and explain each concept in the best way he possibly could for you to understand.

now you were comfortable enough with it to respond in very simple sentences and phrases, but stronger at understanding it whenever toge signed to you, a plus when he clumsily forgot his whiteboard somewhere or when he just didn’t want to use it.

and ever since that first day you went over to his place to learn and study, you literally never went a day without going back again, your cute routine with him being going to his apartment every second of the day to hang out with him or do the things that you needed to do— some that could easily be done in your own space and home and room, but you refusing to for the sole purpose of wanting to be with toge all of the time, him feeling the exact same way and going as far as to giving you a copy of the key to his apartment.

(toge :D): MOUSE

your phone buzzed repeatedly just as you were walking up the steps to toge’s floor, you nearly dropping it over the uncontrollable buzz.

(toge :D): LITTLE MOUSE

(you): YES <3

(toge :D): ouuu a heart?? i didn’t know we were married :P

you let out a giggle and quickly typed a response, your face hot.

(you): mmm i don’t know my ring finger is quite literally bare right now :/ maybe next time!

(toge :D): YOOOOO

(toge :D): it’s because it’s gonna be under your pillow

(toge :D): like from the tooth fairy

(toge :D): a big shiny cock

(toge :D): I MEAN ROCK

(toge :D): ROCK I MEANT ROCK SORRY

you burst out laughing as you readjusted your book bag on your shoulder and turned the corner, nearing his apartment number.

(toge :D): …please still come over

(toge :D): oh wait that’s why i texted you! :P

(toge :D:) WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU

(toge :D): YOU’RE LATE MOUSE

(you): LMFAAOOO

(you): IM COMMINGGGG i’m literally down the hall sir

(you): but now that you yelled at me HMMMM i don’t feel like going today <//3

(toge :D): NO

(toge :D): i’m sorry i’m on my knees

(toge :D): i’m begging

(toge :D): i even brought you a blueberry scone from work

(toge :D): and i’ll buy you whatever you want

(toge :D): FUCK COME OVER NOOOWWWWW

(you): SAY PLEASE AND ADDRESS ME CORRECTLY

(toge :D): PLEEEAASSEEE MOUUSEE

you bit your lip in attempts at suppressing your giddy smile, it not really fucking working as you arrived at his door, pulling your keys out from your bag and shuffling through them to find his— one that had a tiny onigiri design on it.

(you): coming!! <33

(toge :D): so you’re saying we’re married again :P

the door clicked open upon you twisting the key in, stepping inside before closing it behind you while juggling your textbooks and locking it, toge seated on his little gaming chair when he swiveled around and waved at you with a big smile, standing.

“toge!” you gasped exhaustedly, stepping over to him. “you have got to help me please my god—”

he grabbed the textbooks from your arms and walked over to his desk, setting them down before turning back around and giving you a curious look.

‘what’s wrong?’ he signed.

“everything! everything is wrong sign language two is not for the weak oh my goodness gracious—”

you flopped down with your back flat on his bed, eyes shut in agony as he watched you amusedly.

“my professor’s teaching us grammar now and it just gets harder! i don’t know where to properly put anything or— or sign anything.”

he giggled softly and you peeked an eye open, looking at him.

‘i’ll help you mouse.’ he signed, stretching a hand out and you taking it, letting him pull you up to sit as you lazily did so.

“but i ask you too much.” you pouted. “and i feel bad every time i do, especially when you’re playing.”

he snorted, going over to his little dining table and pulling out a chair, lifting it over to his desk gaming set up area and placing it down before ushering you over with his hand.

“nuh uh.” you shook your head.

toge gave you a half lidded look and sat on the dining chair, him always saving his big comfy gaming chair for you whenever you sat with him at his desk since the first time you came over— his eyes expectant.

you deeply sighed and stood, trudging over to his gaming chair before plopping yourself down.

“you don’t have to toge… it’s okay.” you spoke gently. “you’ve been teaching me for like— two years already. my new year’s resolution was to stop bothering you about it and let you live.”

he slid his little whiteboard over and erased what he previously had, uncapping his marker and writing.

he showed you.

‘i’ll always help you and you know that :( and it doesn’t bother me you rat, i do it because i want to.’

or because he’s in love with you. either or.

you giggled and lifted your hand, your index finger erasing over the word ‘rat.’ “—it’s mouusee toge. it’s like you get off on abusing and hurting your bestest mestest friend.”

he laughed boyishly and put down his whiteboard, sliding over one of your textbooks from across the table to him and flipping through several pages, reading to try and see exactly where you were at by the sticky notes you left behind in the margins.

“don’t you have to stream today though?” you asked timidly. “like right now?”

he simply shrugged, turning a page as he reached over to write again on his board.

‘i can stream later tonight—’

he quickly turned it around again to add something just as you had finished reading, him flipping it back over.

‘—with you asleep on my bed. because you’re sleeping over. and that’s FINAL.’

you laughed loudly while leaning forward, your cheeks brewing up a little flush at the request even though you’ve slept over at his place plenty of times before— the thought of him actively wanting you to making your heart bounce around erratically in your chest.

“fuck i don’t know…” you feigned concern. “i’m not sure if i can toge i’m sorry.”

he slumped, eyes so sad that it made you almost sick to your stomach as you struggled to commit to the small bit.

‘why not?’ he signed.

“because i’m missing something.” you pouted.

‘missing?’ he signed again. ‘missing what?’

you snickered.

“my ring!” you extended your hand to him and wiggled your little fingers, you poking the tip of your tongue out to the side cutely. “the one you promised me over text.”

toge breathed out a laugh and nearly dropped dead at your cute expression, him mimicking you and sticking his tattooed tongue out before picking up his whiteboard from his lap to write.

‘i told you the tooth fairy has it :D you have to be patient little mouse.’

you giggled and put your arm down, giving him a stern silly look.

“kayyy thennn!” you dragged, sitting up in your chair and looking over your textbook. “i’ll be expecting my big shiny rock under my pillow in the morning sir.”

he saluted you and you grinned, the rest of the time being spent with toge trying to teach you as best as he could with you hopelessly following along, feeling like the dumbest bitch alive and embarrassed whenever you got something wrong.

but toge never minded, not one single bit— even when you made the same grammar mistake literally three times in a row and him correcting you each freaking time the same exact way, no sign of annoyance or frustration on his face as he worked with you.

and that’s one of the biggest reasons as to why you loved toge so much. since the moment you met him all he wanted to do was just help you, regardless of the fact if you were a stranger or not as he generously always put the things he needed to do aside for you— making sure you were always okay and getting the things you needed no matter how many times you told him he didn’t need to worry, you feeling special and appreciated whenever you were with him no matter what.

you hoped to god he felt the same… and you hoped you weren’t being straight delusional when you noticed the way he looked at you a little longer than he should have at times, or when you read too much into the casual little pecks on your head from him, or when you had told him how much you loved just studying on the floor beside him while he streamed but made a joke that sometimes you couldn’t see because it was so dark in his apartment, toge literally the next day buying you a little flower lily lamp to set and prop up right next to you so you could comfortably study, him laughing and wiping your tears when you ridiculously cried over his consideration.

so did that mean he loved you too?

“toge…” you murmured in the midst of him fixing a signage error of the word ‘before’ with his fingers.

he pointed to your hands so you could take note of the alteration he made, waiting for you to carry on then.

you smiled softly in gratitude before continuing.

“have you ever—” you pursed your lips. “have you ever um… well— actually nevermind—”

he blinked before slowly lifting his hands.

‘have i ever what?’ toge signed, and you quickly shook your head.

“nevermind! it’s okay.”

he gently nudged your foot with his, beckoning you to tell him as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

fuck.

okay if he kisses your head right now then you’ll tell him.

“i forgot toge.” you lied. “that’s why i said nevermind… oopsie!”

he laughed and leaned forward, pecking your forehead before reaching a hand up to ruffle up your hair.

fuck!

no you take it back you can’t do it you can’t—

‘silly.’ he signed, turning his attention back to your textbook and flipping a page.

he wondered what it was, but figured it would come back to you eventually and you’d tell him soon after.

by the end of the day, it was like there was an actual fucking light at the end of the tunnel for you and your sign language two class— you going from being over a thousand percent sure that you were about to pathetically fail the entire course, to having a shiny little sliver of hope because of toge’s ability to get anything through your big head and make you understand, feeling eternally grateful for him in many ways than one.

and you wanted him, so fucking bad, ever since you saw him at the coffee shop, that you thought in that moment while toge set up his bed for you to sleep in while you sat on his desk chair, dressed in his big white t-shirt and pajama pants, that if you just— maayybee tested the waters and crossed the line a little bit without it being too drastic, that you’d get your answer.

but did you want to know? what if he didn’t love you back? what the fuck were you supposed to do then?

cry and wither away, that’s what. you don’t think you’ve ever loved someone as much as you loved toge.

you hear the familiar squeaks of his black marker streaking against his little whiteboard, the sound pulling you from your thoughts and you looked up.

‘you’re so spacey today pretty. are you still worried about your class? :(‘

pretty.

“oh!” you stood. “no toge i feel a lot better about it actually because of you… thank you.”

he grinned, nodding before walking and leaning over his pc to set up his streaming session, mouse clicking away.

“toge—”

he looked over at you with his gorgeous purple eyes and you froze, cheeks heating up as your wobbly lips struggled to come together and fucking speak.

“nevermind nevermind—”

his eyes narrowed, snatching his whiteboard and quickly writing.

‘you did this earlier today too. tell me what’s wrong.’

“no.”

‘no?’ he signed. ‘tell me y/n.’

“no! not my name!” you dived dramatically on his comfy blanket filled bed and groaned. “you only call me by my name when you’re mad and i don’t like it.”

he sat next to you on the edge of the bed and pulled on your shoulder slightly, you fully turning around on your back and looking at him anxiously.

toge wished he could continuously beg you and ask you what was wrong so you’d just tell him— him at times sick of constantly having to pause and make you wait so he could get his point across, a painful fact that never left his mind and made him feel like the biggest burden in your life.

that’s why he never wanted to cross that line you both always seemed to lean over without meaning to. the line that’s kept you both on this limbo of half best friends and half more as he sometimes hugged you a lot longer or snuck in a couple of self indulgent cheek and hand kisses to your skin… but that’s as far as he’d really let himself get. toge didn’t want to permanently have you drag him along in your life no matter how much he wanted to be in it as something way more.

you deserved noise, you deserved loud love, you deserved someone who could actually speak to you— things he mourned over that he could never give you.

and he knew this. he’s known from the moment you walked into the coffee shop the very first time even though you swore up and down that he noticed you later, you unaware that he actually saw you right off the fucking bat on the first day and couldn’t bring himself to look you in the eye— knowing you were going to be the biggest heartbreak of his life and ruin him if he so managed as to let you in when you kept coming back.

but toge was selfish, and he couldn’t help himself.

so he tried to compromise.

there’s nothing wrong with being just friends… right? a casual conversation between two people while he was at work? to then bid goodbye and say hello to every now and then?

except a quick conversation with you turned into ones that lasted almost his entire shift sometimes, and then casual meet ups turned into sleepovers at his apartment when he offered to teach you sign language, and then little hugs of farewell and hello’s turned into him kissing you practically fucking everywhere that wasn’t your mouth with the tightest embraces, him completely going against what he swore he wasn’t going to do and damning himself for life.

and even more so when you had joked about wanting a ring that one day, him actually going out the next day and buying you matching ones even though he didn’t even know if he was strong enough to actually give yours to you.

but toge was still freaking selfish.

because as you looked at him now, your gorgeous face anxious and thought-filled about things he wished you would tell him without worry, the outline and shape of your plush soft lips burning his pupils in such a way that it felt like a privilege, your body in his clothes—

made him want to speak the three worded phrase he was only allowed to say in his sleepy dreams if he was lucky.

“what toge?” you spoke softly, reaching a hand up to delicately card through the front pieces of his pale blonde hair, soft and silky as the outline of his tattooed snake eyes made you a little fuzzy.

he slowly shook his head, a far off look in his eye as he leaned over you, his face close and strained that your eyebrows pinched a little at his expression.

your hand proceeded to gently smooth down from his hair to the side of his cheek, cupping it and caressing over it with your thumb so lovingly that he nearly broke his oath.

if you said that you loved him… he wondered if he would crack. if you confessed and told him that you felt the same way, he juggled the possibility of ruining his own life by giving in and letting you take on the burden of his existence just to have you like he’s always wanted—

“i love you.” you told him.

toge’s big wide afraid eyes stared back at you as you smiled sheepishly, his breath caught in his throat.

“i—” you hesitated, playing with the hem of his shirt. “i really love you. like in the way where i want you to like— kiss me and stuff in your free time…”

he huffed a shocked breath, his face still just alarmed and strained and you started to believe that maybe you actually were delusional and misinterpreted things, his lack of anything making you second guess.

“i’m sorry.” you blurted. “i’m sorry i thought—”

and toge was still selfish as he let his lips fall down and crash against yours, moving so feverishly and hungrily that you couldn’t keep up as he dug his arms underneath you and around before pulling you up flush against his body, wanting you as close to him as humanely fucking possible incase he never got to do this again with you, the possibility horrifyingly still there.

“does this mean—” you spoke in between kisses, breathless. “does this mean you love me too—”

toge broke apart momentarily and quickly nodded, eyes ditzy and clouded as he panted against your lips, drunkenly lowering his head and linking his wet lips with yours again as he sloppily kissed you, laying you back down while you wrung your arms around his neck, you giddy and absolutely fucking enamored with him and that he was finally yours.

except he technically wasn’t… yet…

even when three full weeks had passed.

you still visited toge at work in the coffee shop in the mornings or the afternoon like you always did, ordering the same thing and going in to chat as he wrote his responses on his whiteboard— except now whenever rush hour would conclude, toge would greedily sneak in kisses with you at your table or hold the back of your hand to his cheek as you talked about your classes and your plans for the weekend, his conflicted mind putting his oath on the back burner for now as he tried to relish in the love he’s been wanting for so long.

and you were a little confused as to why toge hadn’t taken the initiative that night and asked you to be his girlfriend, but you didn’t complain, you too caught up in the moment when he would make out with you at his apartment in between study or streaming breaks with his hands literally all over you like a man starved, groping and squeezing at anything he could but never going over that last jump to do something intimate with you, your lovesick mind too in it to care at the moment.

that was the next compromise he made.

if you both just— just stayed this way. no official title no matter how much it pained him just so that he could continue doing these lovely lovely things with you whenever you both wanted, his mind thinking that since you both weren’t technically together that he wasn’t burdening you for life just yet, wanting to keep it this way for as long as he possibly could because toge didn’t fucking know what he was going to do when the time came for making it official.

well yes— he did know. but what he wanted to do and what he should do were two completely different things.

“togeee!” you bounded into the shop one morning, thankful that it was empty as you quickly leaned over the counter and pressed a sweet kiss to his cheek, him smiling wide with a flush to his face in response.

‘hi mouse :) <3’ he wrote on his whiteboard. ‘have you had something to eat yet?’

“i’m good im good! wait i haven’t ate but im good!” you spoke excitedly. “i come with newwsss. really fun news!”

he hummed and nodded, motioning for you to continue as he moved around in the back to get and warm up a breakfast sandwich for you.

“one of my friends from sign language told me she’s throwing a party at her sorority house and invited meee!” you beamed, hearing a little oven ping and then following him to your usual table so the both of you could sit.

toge gently slid your sandwich over upon scooting his chair up, warm and yummy as it sat pretty on a little pastel green plate and him signing ‘eat please’ as you grinned.

“and i know you told me once that you’ve never been to a college party, so i was wondering if you wanted to maybe.. come with me?”

he smiled softly.

‘when?’ toge signed.

“tomorrow night!” you responded, taking a bite out of your breakfast sandwich.

he nodded, thinking a little in his head before sliding his whiteboard over to write.

‘of course ill go mouse but it might be better without me.’

you faltered, swallowing. “without you? why?”

he erased and wrote again.

‘because i can’t talk. your friends might think it’s a little odd.’

“no they won’t.” you countered. “and that’s totally okay, toge. just bring your whiteboard.”

he snorted, shaking his head.

‘i’m not bringing my whiteboard silly that’s even worse.’

“but you’ll be with me.” you reasoned. “and i don’t really talk to anyone at school either besides her so it’s literally just you and i hanging out.”

you wiggled your brows. “and drinkinggg ehh?”

he laughed and eventually nodded, reaching across the table and taking your hands in his as he agreed to go, caressing his fingers over your wrists.

the familiar scent of coffee beans and vanilla— a scent you’ve come to know for almost three years now wafted and swirled around through your nose comfortingly, it permanently reminding you of toge and the time that you’ve spent with him.

he let go of your wrists to write.

‘how was sign language yesterday? are you still good?’

you swallowed the bite you were chewing on and held back a grimace.

“oh i’m doing horrendously again… but it’s all good! ignorance is bliss and i’m choosing hardcore ignorance right now.”

toge’s jaw dropped before he laughed in disbelief and picked up his marker.

‘you’re sleeping over at my place again so i can help you no exceptions sorry about it :p’

you giggled and nodded— saluting him, a mannerism you picked up on from him as he smiled brightly.

“but i do know this!” you exclaimed excitedly as you pressed the bases of your palms together and rubbed, signing the word ‘cheese’— your favorite.

toge laughed cutely and signed the same word back, unable to do much else as the doors chimed to the shop then and a group of students came in, toge’s chair scraping against the floor as he stood before giving you a quick kiss and a ruffle to your hair, his whiteboard in hand as he started making his way to the back.

‘i love you.’ he signed and you bit your bottom lip in a smile, your heart swelling obnoxiously as you watched him shuffle on and tap a few things into the register, nodding along to the groups order as you soon after gathered your things for your afternoon class.

and that night after toge taught you a little more sign language and helped you work on the things you were struggling with, you fell asleep rather earlier than usual on his bed— him reaching for one of his fluffy blankets and draping it over your sleeping gorgeous self and staring, slowly leaning down and pressing the softest kiss ever to your little warm cheek— his chest twisting and contorting with the desire to just fucking give in and stop his stupid ridiculous suffering, to just be selfish one last time and ask you to be his.

and maybe he could.

maybe toge could allow himself this one tiny thing— the most important pretty thing of all, he felt.

just once.

“toge?” you murmured sleepily, eyes pinching a little as you lazily reached out for him.

but what if you grew tired of him? of the silence?

he delicately took your outstretched hand and hummed in question.

“come sleep.” you mumbled. “with me.”

his eyes softened, the corners of his mouth curving as he carefully tapped his index finger against your cheek repeatedly, you straining your eyes open.

‘look under your pillow.’ he signed.

your groggy eyes narrowed in confusion, barely making out what he was signing in the dark but catching key words.

“under my pillow?”

he nodded, pointing.

you breathed in and propped yourself up on your elbow, lifting the pillow you were laying on and suddenly snapping the fuck awake.

a ring.

you shot up, sitting up fully as you looked at him.

he stood and reached over for his whiteboard and marker, uncapping it and writing for a moment before flipping it around and showing you.

‘i got us matching bestest mestest friends but also in love at the same time rings :]’

you picked it up, a dainty thin silver banned ring with a milky white heart in the middle, iridescent as it glowed against the moonlight streaming through his open window.

“toge—” you breathed out. “you actually… you actually got me a ring?”

he wrote, a sly little grin on his face.

‘the tooth fairy did mouse.’

you giggled then, a vibrant pink glow to your cheeks and still a little shocked as he took the jewelry piece from you and gently grabbed your hand, sliding it over your ring finger smoothly, his ring finger already having his shiny silver band on.

he put your hand down and grabbed his whiteboard again.

‘that ring is me promising to help you and love you and kiss you until i die.’ he wrote. ‘okay?’

you quickly nodded, absolutely cheesed as you threw your arms around his neck and pulled toge in— feeling so so happy and fresh and loved, like everything was officially falling into place after nearly three years of semi crossing lines and stolen glances and unanswered questions about what exactly you both were for the longest.

your pretty pretty face had toge in a daze as you looked at him like he carried the world on his shoulders, his mouth slowly coming closer and closer to yours before softly pressing against them— slow and tender as you tugged him down to you by his shirt until he climbed in and was in between your thighs.

each kiss exchange was sensual and a mouthful as you helped toge tug his shirt off over his head, your palms running over his bare skinned chest and back as he deepened his kisses, your hands quickly pulling your shirt off and his eyes bulging at the sight of your puffy tits snug and pretty in your bra.

you were desperate for him and didn’t even have to think twice about something like this as you reached and tugged a little at his jeans, signaling him to take them the fuck off—

‘baby.’ he signed shakily, not even sure why he was asking since he doesn’t think at this point he could stop, but needing to check in with you first. ‘are you sure?’

“fuck yeah i’m sure.” you whispered quickly and unzipped his pants, toge smiling big as he kicked his pants and everything else off, carefully helping you do the same until you were bare and vulnerable in front of him.

toge moved to place a hand on your thigh and you squeaked, suddenly bashful as you shyly covered your arms over your chest and squeezed your thighs together.

he leaned down and placed gentle soft kisses on your cheeks, patting a comforting hand over your head.

‘it’s okay mouse. you’re okay.’ he signed.

you nodded, comfort washing over you as you slowly let your thighs spread and your arms reveal you, his spit catching in his throat at the sight of your gorgeous fucking body beneath him, his dick embarrassingly already leaking a little bit of cum as you watched him pump it a few times.

‘you’re beautiful.’ he signed, and you blushed.

he drooled some spit over his fingers and slid it gently in between your folds, your bottom lip coming in between your teeth as you tried to hold back your moans, his digits prepping you while slipping through your hole deeming it fucking hard as he was completely lost in it, unaware of the way he was riling you up and already building up that familiar sensation in the pit of your tummy.

“t—toge—” your pussy clenched at the way he was fucking you with his fingers, keeping your thighs apart with his other arm as he was completely drowned in the gushy sticky sounds of your hole.

“you’re gonna make me cum and i—” you panted, cute whines slipping from your lips as he looked up at you. “—i wanna cum when you’re inside—”

his cock spasmed and a drop of cum drooped out at your yummy plea, his breathing trembling as he quickly nodded and squeezed your thigh endearingly, slowly slipping his fingers out and stuffing them into his mouth to suck your juices as he pumped his cock while lining it up with your hole.

toge sunk in his dick then, the both of you groaning at the way he filled you up so fucking nice and stretched you, your pussy literally grabbing his cock and sucking him inside easily as you gripped his shoulders tight.

“mmm!—” you whimpered, toge now slowly pumping his cock inside of you as he leaned over and propped himself up by his arms, hips tenderly and deliciously rolling in as he panted and softly whined in your ear.

you were so god damn tight, his throat literally closing at the lock you had around him as he fucked you slow and breathless, one of his hands coming down to grip your waist to try and keep himself grounded and from snapping his hips into yours brutally— him wanting to make love to you and not do that just yet.

toge ducked his head down and licked over a perky tit, your breath hitching and subconsciously spreading your legs wider as he closed his lips around your nipple— suckling and laying a flat tattooed tongue over it as you moaned.

“faster—” pant! “faster please baby—”

with a mouthful of your tit he snapped his hips up, you choking as he started going a lot quicker than you anticipated as your hand flew to your mouth to keep your moans in, your tits bouncing with every fuck.

“oh my god oh my god—”

toge suddenly pulled out and threw you over, tummy to the bed as he hauled your ass up and lined himself at your entrance again, wasting no time in pushing in and screwing you in the same pace he had before.

but this new position was an absolute delicacy as you drooled over his sheets at the way he rammed his cock, the recoil of your ass sending a shiver up his spine and roughly gripping your hips and ass in anyway he could, you screaming and whining into his pillow as a series of slaps to your ass cheeks from him echoed through his little studio.

toge was about to dump the biggest fucking load in you that it was embarrassing.

you reached a hand behind you and he quickly grabbed it, his thumb running over your skin soothingly as he pistoned roughly into your cunt, him groaning and whimpering over the squelching and leaking of your hole as he felt his dick harden— his cum on the brink of release.

“fuck fuck fuck—” you hiccuped into his pillow. “baby i’m gonna cum i’m gonna cum hah!—”

he gripped your hand harder and leaned down over you, rutting into your pussy as he heaved and pressed his lips up against your ear, choking out the word ‘cum’ so softly that it bypassed the confines of his situation, your eyes squeezing shut as the hardest fucking orgasm you had ever had in your life hit you like brick.

you felt toge’s hips snap up and still as his hot milky cum spilled through your walls with a grunt, gooey and slimy as it filled you up and left you squirming at the weight of it.

his breath fanned against your hair as he tried to calm it, his hand moving soothingly up and down your back as you weakly tried to gain back some consciousness, the both of you sweaty and spent with his softening dick sliding out slowly.

toge carefully nudged you back over and kissed you tenderly, his hands traveling from your back over to your tummy and smoothly caressing every part of you down to the sides of your thighs, eyes swelling in utter worship over you as he leaned back to look at you.

‘i love you baby.’ he signed, and you beamed.

and just as toge had finally decided to ask you to be his girlfriend then, to officially let go of the fears he had and let himself have you— there in your arms as you peppered sweet cute kisses all over his face and over his tattooed markings on the corners of his mouth, pulling him further in to rest and sleep?

toge had a horrendous day the following morning that threw it all away.

horrendous.

it started in the morning when he left your sleeping figure quietly with a kiss to your head for his shift at work that day, excited and in a never ending state of bliss from the night before as he drove to the shop.

except he had forgotten his whiteboard at home.

toge had realized when he was already fucking halfway into the drive, a full fledged twenty five minute one that he didn’t have time to go back and repeat as he pulled up to the parking lot— cursing himself for being such a dumbass and wondering how the fuck he was gonna answer specific questions from customers, especially since he was the only one really working today.

he figured he should be fine… right? usually the people that come in already know what to get and they just read it out to him.

but there’s always a few every single day without fail that ask questions toge needed his whiteboard for. and you didn’t have class that day— so the means of you coming down there were for nothing, at least not until the party later that night.

and he didn’t want to ask anything of you…

but he really needed it.

(toge :D): hi pretty mouseee i know you’re asleep i’m sorry but is there anyway you could come to the shop when you wake up and drop off my whiteboard please? i left it on the desk like a stupid fucking idiot EL OH EL

“inumaki.”

toge froze on his walk to open the shop and looked up from his phone, eyes blowing wide.

there his manager stood, who was also the owner of the coffee shop itself, a stern look on his face with crossed arms as they both stood in front of a shattered door and windows, shards of glass twinkling on the floor.

“did you lock up last night?”

toge nodded, eyebrows furrowed as he scanned the ground.

“everything?”

he went to nod again, but stopped.

he did… he did truly he did—

…oh.

he forgot to lock up and cash in the register.

toge quickly stepped over the glass and swung open the shattered door and over to the front counter, sure enough finding the register wide open and battered with not a single fucking penny left inside.

he groaned, his hands shooting up and digging the bases of his palms into his eyes as he leaned back, lips in a thin line at how utterly fucking stupid he was for forgetting to lock up the register and take in the money— the number one thing he was always supposed to do.

“what happened?” his manager asked, hands out. “have you been not locking it up?”

toge scrambled for his phone and pulled it from his back pocket, the thought of his job literally on the line because of this sending him for a fucking ride.

‘i always lock it up, honestly.’ he typed and showed his phone. ‘but i stupidly forgot last night and i can’t express enough to you how sorry i am.’

his manager sighed deeply and dropped his hands, looking over at the open register.

“you’ve consistently been one of my best.” he spoke. “but a mistake like this isn’t something small like forgetting to properly close and wipe down everything or put up the chairs.”

toge nodded understandingly, arms tightly crossed over his chest as he shamefully looked to the side, feeling like the biggest pathetic loser for doing something like this that could’ve been entirely avoided if he just did his damn job correctly.

“it’s alright.” his manager reached and patted a heavy hand to his shoulder. “it happens. it’s just unfortunate that we got broken into right when it did.”

toge looked at him.

“we can’t open today because there’s glass everywhere… so if you can stay and call up the insurance for the shop—” he pointed to the wall, their number amongst others typed and labeled. “—and file an insurance claim in any way you can for me that’d be great. i’m gonna go down to the police station and report.”

toge quickly nodded, typing again on his phone before showing him.

‘okay sounds good. i’m really really sorry and this won’t happen again.’

his manager waved him off with a smile. “don’t sweat, inumaki. i’m pretty sure i did this too when i was working except it was my works safe and not the register…”

softly chuckling, toge nodded once more and gave his manager a tiny wave as he patted his shoulder again before stepping around the glass, leaving.

regardless of being lucky enough to have such an understanding boss, toge still felt like complete and utter shit as he stood behind the counter slumped over after, on hold with the insurance company for thirty minutes now as he stared at the broken shards and the register.

you had gotten toge’s text the minute you woke up and quickly got up to get ready, not even bothering to change into anything different as you left with his pajamas on you and his little whiteboard, hopping into your car and speeding off knowing how much he needed it for work sometimes.

and when you pulled into the shops parking lot, confusedly already noticing scattered glass on the concrete walking up, you froze in front of the coffee shop upon seeing the windows and doors completely shattered— toge propping his forehead up with his palm on the counter solemnly.

“toge?”

he looked up.

“what happened?”

his shoulders dropped in relief and he slowly came around the counter, opening his arms a little and pulling you in as he buried his face into your hair, sighing.

you hugged him back. “are you okay? did this happen right now?”

he shook his head and stepped back, taking the whiteboard from you.

‘someone broke into the shop last night. but i forgot to lock up the register and cash in the money so they stole that too.’

“oh my god!” you gasped, hands flying over your mouth. “fuucckkkk was your manager mad? don’t tell me he fired you—”

toge erased and wrote before flipping the board over.

‘no just disappointed. but i still feel like such a fucking moron for forgetting and i hate that i did.’

“toge..” you sighed sadly, running your hands over his upper arms. “it’s okay you’re human baby. these things happen so don’t feel like that please..”

he nodded a little before ducking down and pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

you smiled and looked around.

“seeing the shop like this is nuts.”

he hummed in agreement.

toge stuck around for a little while, you next to him behind the counter still waiting on hold with the insurance company, feeling awfully bad for keeping you here when he knew you wanted to go shopping for a dress for the party, but him stupidly forgetting again that he couldn’t speak— too caught up in trying to make it up to his manager for his fuck up to think about how exactly he was going to talk to the insurance company on the other line, you demanding to help him.

sometime down the line when the insurance claim was filed, toge’s manager told him that if he wanted to open up the shop for the day he could, and to just sweep up the glass a little from the ground and fix up the place a little so it didn’t look like they just got robbed.

and because toge was still in his self dreaded state of guilt and shame over what happened, he immediately agreed to, trying to make up for his mistake and see if he could double the shop’s earnings for today.

“i could stay toge let me stay.” you pushed, but he only shook his head and sent you off to do the things he knew you needed to do with a pat on the head and a kiss on the cheek, telling you he’d see you at his place to get ready for the party.

but maybe toge was better off telling his manager a bit fat no and going home with you, because it was like everybody that came into the shop following that had eaten a big bag of dicks and salvaged the biggest fucking attitudes out of it to spit back in his face.

no one was understanding him. no one. not a single soul. even when he used his whiteboard to explain everything that certain customers needed, for some reason the extra effort of them having to just read putting them off and yelling and making toge’s shift a living hell.

and it’s not like he’s never managed shifts on his own either— never having an issue and still putting in and preparing orders efficiently like he was supposed to, but he figured the debacle from this morning was setting him off since he couldn’t do anything right at the moment, the attitude he was getting from literally every single fucking customer leaving him wishing he at least had one more person on the floor with him.

but toge was still blaming himself.

why couldn’t anyone understand him? why couldn’t he just speak? his life would be so much easier if he could… and you would’ve been his a long time ago.

so as toge sat there tiredly after work with his eyes closed on a stool next to you in his bathroom, you applying the finishing touches to your hair and makeup— you could practically feel toge’s exhaustion, frustration, and sadness seeping into your skin and insides over the shift he told you he had, your eyebrows pinching anxiously.

“we don’t have to go baby…” you murmured, looking down and playing with the rings on your fingers. “i would much rather stay here with you so you can relax for a little…”

he slowly peeled his eyes open, the sight of you standing there in front of him— so fucking beautiful in your dress and heels and dolled up in the way that you were, made his cheeks buzz pink as he slumped forward and mushed his cheek up against your tummy, wrapping his arms around you and shaking his head.

“are you sure?” you asked gently, running your fingers over his soft hair. “i don’t mind what we do toge… as long as with you i’m okay.”

his heart jumped as he looked up and gave you a cute smile, nodding.

you’d decided to meet in the middle and just go home early so toge could have enough rest for his shift tomorrow, him driving you both to the sorority house and parking a bit down the street amongst dozens of other cars, a little nervous and apprehensive and wondering what he was gonna do if any of your friends came up to talk to him— but the desire to make you happy and accompany you to something that you were so excited for far, far greater.

the night went smoothly for the most part, you in no time at all spotting your friend that initially invited you through the crowd along with some of your other friends that you had no idea were coming in the first place, introducing toge to each one and him giving a small smile and wave in response as he interlaced your fingers and gladly let you lead him to wherever you wanted through the dark and blue lit house, taking sips occasionally of the tequila orange liquor mix from his red solo cup and funnily from yours too— since you had gotten a different punch like flavor that he liked better.

“y/n? i didn’t know you were coming!”

your head snapped to the voice just as you were talking to toge, your eyes widening and a huge smile spreading across your face.

“oh hey! i didn’t know you were either!” you quickly turned to toge. “he’s in my sign language class the one i told you about that teaches us how to cuss—”

your friend laughed, “you talk about me y/n? interestinggg.”

toge quirked a brow.

“not like that—” you slapped his shoulder. “i talk about you so i can build up the stamina to rat you out.”

he gasped dramatically. “says the one who bothered me last class to teach her how to sign the word cunt.”

“no i didn’t— wait actually i did.”

your friend laughed again but diverted his attention momentarily to someone pulling on his arm a bit.

toge nudged you gently and you turned.

‘i’m gonna go get a drink mouse.’ he signed.

“okay!” you nodded. “i’ll wait for you here.”

he nodded, kissing your head before leaving— the kitchen not too far from where you both were originally at as he walked and threw away the drink he had initially and scanned the counter, looking for the fruity punch one you got before spotting it and picking one up from the rows of others, the smell of alcohol filling his nostrils.

“hey sorry to bother, which flavor is that?”

toge froze and looked over, a girl standing there and pointing at his cup.

oh shit.

toge pointed to his cup.

“yeah, which flavor is that one? i’ve tried the others but not that one yet.”

oh fuck.

why couldn’t he just talk?

the girl quirked a brow at his silence, and just when she was about to say something else, someone came through the kitchen.

“i think that one’s tutti frutti but i could be wrong.”

she turned to the other person and nodded, giving toge an awkward look before walking around him to get a cup for herself.

toge covered his eyes with a hand in complete fucking mortifying embarrassment, cheeks warm as he leaned against the kitchen sink in the lowest low he had ever lowed.

or so he thought.

because the sound of your loud pretty laughter had him slowly looking up and taking his hand away, you conversing so— so openly and freely with your friend from sign language triggering a hint of jealousy and bitterness in his chest. bitter as to why he was cursed to deal with something like this, bitter over the loser that was blatantly obviously flirting with you… but jealous of him that he was able to open his mouth and speak to you in whatever words and phrases he wanted, syllables flying out without any sort of pain or blood as a paying price like he had to.

that’s what you needed… that’s what you should have. not him.

not his inevitable silence and whiteboards and constant pauses, his lack of being able to tell you how much he loved you and how much you meant to him whenever, wherever… without being tied down to a marker or a phone.

his mixup from this morning, his customers not understanding him, everybody else not understanding him, has led him to believe that someone as beautiful as you shouldn’t carry the burden of even trying to.

toge knew from the very first time you came into the coffee shop that you were going to unknowingly break his heart if he let you in because of his situation… and fuck did he let you in.

and now he had to break yours so you could find and be with what you deserved.

toge walked over to you then, head down with his jaw tight and mind fogged over as you doubled over in laughter over something your friend said.

“wait—” you gasped. “wait toge he just told me that—”

“is he your boyfriend?” you friend asked, pointing to him.

well, toge still hadn’t really asked you… but he gave you a promise ring, and you were both wearing them tonight so—

your eyes snapped to toge, who was shaking his head no.

…no?

your brows furrowed.

“oh! i thought you guys were together, my bad.”

toge twitched over the way your friend sounded relieved, but you didn’t notice a thing, still looking at him with the most gutting look that made him want to scream.

“yeah.. my bad too.” you mumbled, your friend not catching it as he then got pulled by the shoulder to a different crowd, him calling over that he would come find you later on in the night.

“no?” you repeated to him.

‘come with me outside.’ he signed before slowly walking and leading you back to the kitchen and through the backyard doors, the chilling cold night air a refreshing break from the stuffiness inside.

“if this is a joke it’s not that funny toge.” you mumbled, hugging yourself as you closed the door behind you.

he looked at you sadly.

‘you shouldn’t be with me mouse.’ he signed.

“what?” you breathed out. “what are you talking about?”

‘i can’t give you what you need.’

“what i need?”

he nodded. ‘it won’t work. you and me.’

“toge—” your chest picked up speed, tears prickling a bit at your eyes. “you’re telling me all of this yet no answers— why won’t we work.”

‘you should be with someone that can talk to you and tell you that they love you and say anything without all of this baggage—’

“wait wait slow down i can’t—” you put your hands out. “you’re signing too fast i can’t understand you—”

you couldn’t understand him.

and toge realized that the reasoning he had would be something that you would counter and fight for, and something he would more than one hundred percent give in to you winning just so he could have you again.

he needed to make you hate him so it would be easier for you to move on.

toge dropped his arms, a defeated look on his face as he shoved a hand in his pocket for his phone, typing out a message to you.

you received it on the other end, your phone illuminating your face as you opened it.

(toge :D): i realized after we confessed that this isn’t what i want anymore and im sorry

your jaw dropped, eyes narrowing as you looked up at him.

“what the fuck do you mean.”

his thumbs shook as he typed, his heart pulling and screaming at the muscles and nerves tied to them for him to stop.

(toge :D): we’re better off as just friends. i’m really sorry that i realized after the fact. you deserve someone better anyways and i just don’t think it’s with me.

you let out a sob that ripped him to shreds, hand coming over your mouth in disbelief as you stared at the blurry screen in your grasp.

he realized this after the fact? after messing around with you for almost three years? after confessing to you and saying he loves you? after being intimate?

you felt fucking used.

“you’re realizing this now?” you shook your head. “toge— you realize we’ve been flirting like this for as long as we’ve known each other and all of a sudden you’re pulling back? after you got your fucking fill? after kissing me and telling me that you love me, and— and after—”

you ran an exasperated trembling hand through your hair. “toge we had sex and you’re telling me this isn’t what you want?”

god this is everything he wants.

but toge bit his tongue, him strained all over with a locked painful jaw as you yelled at him, his eyes glossy over how much he was hurting you as he stiffly nodded.

you stepped closer, jabbing a finger to his chest. “look at me in the eyes right now and tell me if our entire fucking friendship before leading up to our bullshit confessions was all a lie. tell me right now if this—” you held your hand up, the promise ring he gave you shimmering under the fairy lights of the backyard. “—was a lie when you promised me that you would always help me and love me.”

toge breathed in and out shakily, swallowing thickly as he slowly nodded, his entire body in absolute detriment.

holy fucking shit.

how long had you been this stupid for you to not realize the kind of person he actually was?

but— but it didn’t make any sense. this wasn’t toge. this wasn’t toge at all you didn’t know who the fuck you were yelling at right now because toge would never do this to you.

“do you know why i’m learning sign language in the first place?”

toge blinked back tears, shaking his head no.

“i started taking sign language for you, asshole!” you sobbed. “when i was stupidly crushing on you at the shop before we talked for the first time, i noticed you knew sign language and i signed up for you so it’d be easier for you to communicate with me without always having to use your whiteboard.”

he felt a pang to his heart, harshly wiping his eyes.

“but even then i don’t fucking care toge! you could have absolutely nothing to talk to me with and i’d still love you and do anything for you because that’s how much i’m in love you!”

you sobbed as your shoulders shook violently, hands covering your eyes.

“glad to know the feelings not mutual.”

oh he takes it back.

he takes it all back.

toge reached for your hands and you pushed him away.

“you’re so full of shit toge.” you sniffled. “if this is what you want then fine. take this fucking—”

you slipped the ring off from your finger and threw it at him, the feeling of it thudding against his chest and clinking to the ground beneath his feet close enough to a damn bullet.

he shook his head frantically, picking up your ring and following you up the steps of the porch, grabbing your hand and pulling you back, but you only shaking it off and trudging on forward.

“mouse—” he spoke. “please stop—”

the sound of his rare voice made you freeze in place, unmoving and feeling guilt pool in your stomach at the sound of him reeling over and coughing violently as a result.

he spoke to you… but his dreaded words from earlier still lingered in your mind, betrayal etched into your chest like a tattoo.

“don’t call me that.” you mumbled over your shoulder, swinging the door open to the kitchen and slamming it shut.

toge heard nothing from you for four weeks.

even through all of the calls and texts he sent you, he started to conclude that you actually blocked his number the moment you left him that night, unable to see his actual explanation through the masses of messages he sent you and still continued to even after confirming the thought that you had blocked him.

he couldn’t believe himself. he couldn’t believe he actually hurt you and drove you away like that.

and toge had never felt so much self hatred, missing you like fucking crazy throughout those weeks— it reminding him of that one time when you first started getting to know each other where you disappeared for a week, except far far worse now that you had both built so much together over the years.

his life felt empty now that you weren’t in it.

and funnily enough, his job— something he had gotten before you, now solely reminding him of you as he tried to work without throwing something over the random flashbacks he’d have of that night, blending and serving drinks and sliding them over the pickup counter all meaningless if you weren’t there at your usual table to give him a cheeky smile and sign the word ‘cheese’ to make him laugh on the other side.

his little mouse.

and toge silently cried almost every night at his desk, him clutching your ring.

you were basically the same way as him, if not fucking lower as you were the one that was practically presumably dumped and used, you unable to sleep for hours on end in your bed and your parents wondering what the hell happened between the two of you as they tried to console your tears through your restless nights, you half in denial that this was your reality and toge was out of your life.

after some time, you realized that you had left nearly half of your things in toge’s apartment, it settling into your mind how much time you actually spent with him and not at your own house as you constantly found yourself needing things but couldn’t have them because they were over there— one of those things unfortunately being your freaking sign language textbook.

there was absolutely no way you could get it, and you opted to borrowing your friends for the longest time… but by the time you reached the beginning of the fifth week without toge, you started feeling really bad for continuously bothering your friend for her book when you could just suck it up and get yours.

so you made your jumbled mind up and reached for your phone one day after your morning class, going to toge’s contact number and unblocking him before texting.

(you): hi. sorry to bother but i left some things in your apartment that i need. i was wondering if i could come by today to get them.

toge nearly jumped out of his skin at your pretty name flashing across his phone while he was lazily and depressingly laying in bed, scrambling to type back not even a minute later.

(toge): yes of course

(toge): i’m home right now if you want to come

(toge): and you’re never a bother

you pursed your lips, a lump building in your throat.

(you): okay. i’ll be there in a few minutes.

toge flung his scattered clothing inside his closet or literally anywhere that was out of eyesight, trying to turn his rut of a room back to how it looked like when you were always here, shaking out a big garbage bag and throwing all of his trash in there (along with all of the cake pop, cheese danish, and blueberry scone wrappers…), opening the blinds and straightening out his sheets.

you pulled into his apartment complex parking lot and parked not too long after, your hands drenched in sweat and your body rigid as you came up to his floor and over to his apartment number, knocking even though you had the key.

you almost turned back to leave once you heard his padded footsteps, but decided against is as he was already opening the door.

and my god, seeing him hurt a lot more than you thought it would.

his eyes were soft as they looked at you, and red like yours, him quickly stepping to the side to let you in and you doing so with your head down, not saying a single word.

“i think—” you shakily spoke, eyes already watering as he closed his door with a click. “i think i’m just gonna get my sign language textbook for now i’ll come back some other time for the rest—”

you felt a little tug at your hand, and you turned, his shoulders slumping at your teary eyes, stray droplets slipping down your cheeks already.

‘please don’t cry.’ he signed. ‘i’m so sorry for everything.’

you snorted, shaking your head as you reached behind you to get your textbook.

“sorry for stringing me along and using every part of me until you were bored? sure.”

he frantically shook his head no, panic rising in his chest as he watched you step around him and head for the door.

he couldn’t let you leave.

because he had a feeling if he did, he actually would never see you again.

toge quickly grabbed your wrist and tugged you back around.

“what toge—”

‘stay for a bit.’ he shakily signed. ‘please just stay and let me explain.’

you followed his signage, and your eyes narrowed. “explain what? there’s nothing to explain—”

toge swiped his phone from his bed and opened it, going to your contact to type out a message.

you hesitantly pulled yours out and waited, your phone vibrating against your hand once he sent it over.

(toge): i lied about absolutely everything i said that night. i don’t think any of those things at all. i’ve wanted you so fucking bad from the start y/n, i’ve been ready to be with you i don’t think for a second we’re better off as friends i want more with you always and for the rest of my life.

what?

he sent another message.

(toge): i said what i said because throughout our friendship i told myself like a fucking idiot that i couldn’t let you all the way in because i can’t talk. i kept thinking that you needed someone who you can talk to you whenever you want without having to always step back and read or write like you have to with me. i didn’t want you to carry that baggage and deal with me and i just felt like a burden, and i love you so fucking much that i wanted better for you.

you sniffled and wiped your cheeks, you rubbing away lonesome tears that landed on your phone screen.

(toge): but i’m selfish baby i’ve BEEN selfish. i said those horrible things to you so it’d be easier for you to move on and im so sorry. none of them are true. i don’t want you to move on from me. i didn’t use you i could never and that night we had sex was the most meaningful experience of my life. i love you more than anything in my life, and im gonna be selfish again and please ask you to come back to me. you’re my best friend and more, and i still believe that you need someone better and that can give you more than i can, but i just can’t let you go man i’ve been physically sick for four weeks without you.

you cried still and he typed again.

(toge): i’m selfish and i’m in love with you mouse. i’m sorry.

“toge!” you cried and chucked your phone to his bed, flinging your arms around his neck and pulling him in a tight embrace— the weight completely lifting off both of your shoulders at the feeling of your bodies pressed against each others like a perfect little key in a lock, toge hugging you back so so fucking tight with his face in your neck that he practically squeezed the air out of your lungs entirely.

“i love you.” he spoke, his words incredibly powerful in your ear even though it couldn’t have been more than a mere whisper, the sound and depth of his voice ringing through your head and one you wanted to remember forever and ever, feeling so incredibly loved over the fact that he’d use his voice for you even when it hurt him so much.

but he really didn’t need to. you just wanted him.

and you’ve never been so happy to hear someone tell you that they lied.

toge pulled back a bit and turned his head to the side, stuffing his mouth into the crook of his elbow and coughing.

you pressed your cheek against his once he was done, kissing it a few times beforehand and him closing his eyes at the feeling of your lips on his skin after so long.

“you okay?” you murmured softly, and he nodded.

“i love you too, toge.” you tightened your arms around his neck. “please don’t ever think that you’re a burden or giving me baggage to carry. i’ve never ever felt that way and neither should you.”

you stepped back and cupped his cheeks.

“i need you, baby. i don’t need anything or anyone else but you. someone that has the ability to talk can’t give me even ten percent of what you’ve been giving me. i’m happy with you. the happiest i’ve ever been is when i’m with you… okay?”

toge grinned, huge and shiny as he nodded and leaned forward and captured your lips in a kiss— the both of you utterly deprived as your mouths smacked and moved in haste, his hands running and squeezing over your body with labored breathing between the two of you.

he pulled apart for a second and you stopped.

“what baby?” you breathed, watching as he raised his arms.

‘please be my girlfriend mouse.’ he signed. ‘or i’ll die.’

you giggled cutely and a blush rose on both of your sore cheeks from smiling so much, you happily nodding and roughly pulling him back in to continue.

and how lucky was toge to have such a sweet little mouse that cared for him this much? for someone who couldn’t even speak? who had the greatest level of patience and not once ever complained about the burden she had to carry?

you learned sign language for him. solely for him. the reasons he was thinking about how he’d be baggage to you, was amazingly the total opposite on your end, as you didn’t want to be baggage to him when it came down to communication with you— as if something like that were ever even possible.

and you learned sign language for him— a totally beautiful and different and complex language that was iterated through the feeling of arms and body, to be read across with purposeful moving hands and symbols and diligent fingers— somehow looking even more beautiful when it was you that was doing it.

silence was toge’s greatest form of love… one that you received with open arms and acceptance without a twinge of judgement in your heart, and one that toge only ever wanted you to receive.

you.

his little mouse.

taglist!! <33 (THANK YOU THANK YOU!):

@cupcaketeddybehr @soobiary @roachfun @waterfal-ling @saebaey @reneinii @luvvmae @cake-with-the-cream @pixie-dix @2ukika @cramelmacchiao @hy3phiren @fushigurioo @wil10wthetree @jameinfrau @pancakeszs @drftnzume @k0z3me @k4zivy @dindjarins1ut @starrnai @tinyray-lovesfood @iloveoldermenn @dazqa @applepi25 @aria-chikage @blu3-l0v3r @rose-tlnted-kalopsia

if you asked to be on my taglist but i missed you please let me know!! and also let me know if i accidentally tagged you but you didn’t ask GAHAHA LOVE YOUU

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happy74827 · 4 months ago

Text

Feels Like Home

[Logan Howlett x Female!Reader]

Synopsis: You decide to take it upon yourself to become best friends with Wade’s new grumpy addition to the family (much to Logan’s dismay).

WC: 2453

Category: Fluff, Sunshine!Reader x Grumpy!Logan trope {TW: Bar Fight, Handsy Drunk Dude, Mentions of Blood + Bruising}.

[Dedicated to: @iluvloganhowlett] I finished it for you!! (I’m shocked at the speed too don’t worry 💀). Hopefully this fluffiness will help add onto the low supply out there.

And incase anyone hasn’t seen it yet: DEADPOOL & WOLVERINE SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT

『••✎••』

You’ve always had a keen eye when it came to others. It’s mostly why you and Wade get along so well; you’re the one person who can see straight through him. And while it means you are very close, it also meant that you can easily tell when something is going on with someone you don't know that well, like the tall, brooding man named Logan, who had just joined the club of misfits.

You could tell by the way he carried himself that he had been through hell and back. He was quiet, grumpy, and had a tendency to snap at Wade, which, most of the time, was a well-deserved snapping.

You could also tell that there was more to him. He wasn't just a grumpy guy; there was something about him that made you want to be his friend. Maybe it was the sadness in his eyes, or maybe it was how lonely he looked.

Either way, you knew he was in need of a good friend, and you wanted to be that friend. Not a pestering one like Wade, but the kind of friend that just makes you feel a bit better.

So, when you spotted him, downing glass after glass of whiskey for the third day in a row, you just knew you had to help.

And he hated it. Oh, man, he absolutely hated it. You were such a happy ray of sunshine, always smiling, always laughing. He found it so fucking annoying. He couldn't deal with you and your constant positivity. It was like you were the PG-13 version of the breathing ballsack next to you.

But you wouldn't give up. Every time you saw him, you would try to cheer him up by making silly jokes, giving him small gifts, or even just sending him encouraging smiles.

He didn't want any of it, but it seemed you were too stubborn to listen. Every small note you’d given him was left crinkled in the trash; every gift was placed away without ever being touched. Your smile never got a response.

That is, until one day, as you walked by him, he mumbled something that almost made you trip over.

"Thanks."

You stopped in your tracks and turned around to face him, a look of disbelief on your face. You had tried so hard to cheer him up for the past few weeks, and this was the only thing you got from him? You couldn't believe it.

You had spent so much time and effort trying to make him feel better, and this was all he could say to you?

You wanted to hug him. To scream to the skies and celebrate that he finally accepted your kindness.

You held the restraint to do so, though. You didn’t want to cause him to close off again, and so instead, you sent him a soft smile, and a small nod, before you resumed walking (running) to your friends.

The next day, however, you were met with the biggest surprise of your life.

Logan was sitting at the bar, drinking. He didn't look too different, still dressed in his trademark blue jeans and flannel shirt, but his face was still holding that sadness you had grown used to seeing on him.

You walked over to him and sat down beside him, that classic smile of yours plastered on your face.

"Hi!"

He groaned. "You're not going to leave me alone, are you?"

"Nope!" You replied cheerfully, popping the 'p.'

He grumbled under his breath and downed the last of his drink, signaling to the bartender for another.

"Come on, Wolvie," you said, nudging his shoulder. "Lighten up. Life's not that bad, is it?"

He turned to glare at you, his dark brown eyes piercing into yours. "It's Logan," he said, his voice a low growl.

You shrugged and leaned closer to him, propping your elbow on the counter. This was the usual part—the part where he would give vocal responses while you carried on your one-sided conversation with him.

The difference this time, the surprise of it all, was when a person approached the both of you. Mind you, a very drunk person.

"Heyyyyy, baby girl," he slurred, his hand landing on your shoulder.

You turned to him, and he was looking you up and down with that gaze you knew had only one intention. You still smiled, though, and politely moved his hand off your shoulder.

"Uh, hi?" You answered unsurely.

He slammed his elbow on the counter, his palm on his fist. "You are gorgeous," he commented, and you had to hold back the laughter that was bubbling in your throat.

"Thank you," you chuckled.

Logan scoffed, rolling his eyes, but you paid him no mind. Usual behavior from him, nothing new.

"No, really," the stranger continued, moving his arm around your shoulders, "I think you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

"Well, I'm glad you think so," you answered, still chuckling. "But, I think you're a little drunk."

"Drunk on love," he responded, "Say, wanna get out of here? I'll show you a real good time."

Here comes the awkward part, you thought.

You shook your head, and removed his arm from around your shoulders. "Thank you for… uh, the kind offer," you answered, "But, no, thank you."

You expected him to shrug it off and leave or to just be a dick, as many drunken guys are. But no, this guy did not know how to take a hint.

Instead, he tightened his grip around you and pulled you closer to him, his free hand moving down your waist. "Come on, baby," he said, his words slurring. "You know you want to."

You sighed. You were really hoping it wouldn't have to come to this.

You were about to speak, to politely, yet firmly, tell him to leave you alone, but before you could open your mouth, a gruff voice beat you to it.

"She said no,"

He didn’t even look at the man or you. His eyes were still fixated on the counter as if he was talking to his glass, but he had turned his head a bit to the side so that you could hear him clearly.

The drunk stranger was startled by the sudden intervention. He let go of you and looked over at Logan, confusion clear in his face.

"Who the hell are you?" he asked, his brows furrowed.

"Does it matter?" Logan grumbled.

"Yeah, it does," the stranger retorted, his slurring voice suddenly getting serious. "If I'm gonna be having fun, I don't want an audience."

Oh, how you hated confrontations.

Logan just scoffed with a slight hint of a smile, shaking his head as he still refused to turn around.

"Trust me, pal," he replied, "I ain't interested in watching you do anything."

"Good." He went back to his obnoxious grin, now directing his attention back to you. Oh, man, he was an eyesore.

"So, how about it, beautiful? Wanna head somewhere else?" He slurred.

You were about to reply, again, with a polite rejection, but your shoulder was being grabbed at again, and if it wasn’t for the small training session that Colossus had put you through, you were sure you would have lost your footing.

"Can you let go of me, please?" You asked politely, but the man was a brick wall.

"Nah, sweetheart," he shook his head, and the movement was so intense, you could almost hear the alcohol sloshing around in his head, "You're comin' with me. Trust me, you’ll be perfectly taken care of."

That was when the sound of glass slamming against the counter reached your ears, and you didn't have to see the source of the sound to know it was Mr. Grumps.

What you struggled for what seemed like an eternity, he took that needy arm away from your shoulders within a fraction of a second. It was almost shocking how quick he was, but then again, you knew what he was capable of.

With you safe against the counter, Logan turned to face the stranger, his face still showing that same neutral expression as before, though his eyes held an intensity that made the man flinch.

Normal people would believe he had the patience of a saint. But you weren’t a normal person. You knew this was dangerously close to making him lose it.

"Uh, Logan… maybe we should—"

But your words fell on deaf ears. The only thing that Logan could hear was the weak excuses the guy was trying to give as he tried to pull his hand from the tight grasp Logan had it in.

"Hey, man," he stuttered, his words slurring as the panic set in, "What’s your problem? Let go of me!

But Logan had no intentions of doing so. He held the stranger's arm firmly, his grip growing tighter until he could hear a small crack coming from the guy's bones.

"What's your damage, huh?" the guy continued, trying his best to keep his voice from breaking. "It's just a little fun, right, baby?"

You cringed as his eyes fell back onto you, and the pleading tone of his voice was beginning to make your skin crawl.

"Look, uh," you started, looking anywhere but his eyes, "I don't think—"

"Listen," the man continued, and your eyes fell shut. God, he was just not going to stop. "Maybe you can join us? Huh, big boy? That’s what it is, right? You want her all for yourself?"

Uh, oh.

"Logan, don’t—"

It was too late. He had already snapped, and with a grunt, he pulled the man closer to him, his other hand forming a fist around his shirt.

"Wanna say that again?" He growled. "Do it. I dare you."

The man was trembling in his grasp, but he was clearly too drunk to understand the danger he was in.

"Oh, I'm sorry, are you her boyfriend?" He taunted, and the fact that he had the guts to do so while his hand was in a painful hold was astonishing, even for you. "Or are you just some guy with a crush? Cause, honestly, it's pretty pathetic. You can't even ask her out."

His words had Logan seeing red, and before you could do anything, the guy was pushed away and was about to be on the receiving end of one of the strongest punches you've ever seen.

So, riskily, to protect yourself and him from being thrown out of his favorite place, you jumped off the stool and slid in between them as he launched his punch, just stopping inches away from your face.

"Please," you said, your palms up and in front of you, as if that would do anything to stop the rage he was feeling, "Please, calm down."

"Calm down?" He repeated, his voice rising. "Are you kidding me?"

"You need to let it go," you told him. "He's drunk, Logan. He doesn't know what he's saying."

"And, what," he retorted, his anger slowly fading away, "Does it look like I give a single fuck about that?"

You sighed, your eyes meeting his, and that was enough for him to finally give in. His clenched fist dropped, and he released a frustrated sigh.

The dude behind you started laughing, his voice sounding as if he was trying to make fun of a fight scene.

"So," he chuckled, "That's it, huh? You're not gonna do shit? You’re just as pathetic as a—"

He gently moved you aside, and in an instant, the man was lying on the floor with a bloody nose, a black eye, and a few broken ribs.

You could only hold your head in your hands, knowing very well the mess you were about to have to deal with.

And it didn't take long.

As soon as Logan stepped away from the drunk idiot, security was on him, grabbing his arms and restraining him. He couldn’t care less, though, as he held a sadistic grin on his face, pleased with his work while being escorted out.

And, so, there, the two of you were on the steps of the apartment building. You, holding your hands in your lap, and he, staring up at the night sky.

The air was warm, the city lights were dim, and the sky was covered in clouds. There was an odd silence between the two of you, which wasn’t really all that odd, but the events of the night had changed the atmosphere.

"Thanks," you spoke, breaking the quiet. "For, you know, standing up for me."

"He was a douche," he stated, his voice gruff. "Someone had to send that fucktart crying home to mommy."

"You shouldn’t have done that, though," you told him. "Now, you’re probably banned from the bar. I know it's your favorite."

"Eh," he shrugged, "Booze is booze. There are plenty more places to get drunk."

You didn't respond. Instead, you focused your attention on the small bugs flying around the dim light next to the door.

"You shouldn't be thanking me, anyway," he continued, turning to you. That was new. "I should be the one thanking you."

You looked at him, your brows furrowed. This whole conversation was getting weird. "Uh, what for?" You asked, confused.

"For putting up with me," he replied, shrugging.

"Putting up with you?" You repeated, not understanding. "I don't understand."

"Y'know," he continued, his gruff voice a little less gruff. "Sticking around. Being friendly. Having… patience. I can be…I can be a real dick. Honestly, I still don't get why you keep trying."

The smile that found its way to your lips waa the most genuine one he's ever seen. Your eyes were full of kindness and understanding, and your lips, which usually held a grin or a smirk, were turned upwards in a soft, gentle smile.

"Logan," you said, your voice low. "You may be a grump, and you might not be the friendliest guy, but that doesn't mean you don't deserve kindness. Everyone deserves that… or at least a little bit of it."

He scoffed. "That's funny," he replied, turning his head away.

You furrowed your brows and cocked your head, confused. "What is?" You asked.

"I used to think," he began, "That no one would ever look at me in the way you do. Not after what I’ve done… not after what I am."

"You're a good man, Logan," you told him. "You proved who you were when you willingly helped Wade."

"Maybe," he sighed, his gaze meeting yours. "But, there's still a lot you don't know about me. I'm not exactly a knight in shining armor."

"Oh, my dear, Wolvie," you said playfully, leaning closer to him and placing your palm on his shoulder, "You never were."

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calypsocolada · 5 months ago

Text

how they are when they're jealous... ft. giyu, mitsuri, obanai, sanemi, rengoku, tengen, & hotaru

authors note: hello. with this new season of demon slayer i felt inspired. lemme know if you guys want more. i sort of went a little crazy with tengen's and hotaru's little stories. ENJOY!

cw: lots of death talk in hotaru's part, maybe slightly suggestive, not proofread

wc: 5k

click here for my masterlist

Giyu hides his jealousy way too well. You two had worked together for a very long time. The first few months of knowing him you didn’t even know if he knew your name let alone that you existed to him. He was not very open so you left him alone the best you could. That was until one day you were eating peacefully and he came and sat next to you. You were stunned, your chewing paused as you slowly looked over at him. He was sitting cross legged beside you, quietly opening his wrapped food. When he noticed you looking he paused and met your eyes.

“Hm?” He hummed, as though he sat next to you all the time. As though you two had said more than three words to each other in months. You didn’t want to scare him off so you just gently shook your head.

“Nothing.” You answered, looking back down at your food, swallowing nervously. Giyu returned his look to his food and out of the corner of your eyes you saw him pause.

“Are you… friendly with Sanemi?” He asked. You furrowed your brow, chancing a glance at him. He met your eyes with a curious stare.

“Sanemi?” You repeated. He nodded his head once. You purse your lips. You were friendly with all the hashira’s except him but you didn’t think that was exactly what he was asking. Well to be honest you weren’t really sure what he was asking so you decided to play it safe.

“Hmm… yes. He’s a friend.” You answer. His face doesn’t reveal anything as he nods his head again, looking back at his food. You wonder if you answered correctly as he suddenly pulls out a little white sweets box. The very same sweets that you would buy as a treat for yourself after missions.

“Just a friend?” He asks as you nod your head, blushing slightly. Giyu looks relieved and hands the sweets over to you without a word.

“Oh… for me?” You ask and he nods his head. When you reach to take it your hands brush and you swear his cheeks pinken.

You didn’t think Mitsuri ever got jealous until a few years into your relationship. You two often had missions together which meant you also had time off at the same time. Hiking to the swordsmith village to relax. After settling in you two hit the kitchen. The only thing that could rival your love for each other was your love for food. There were a few other hashira’s around and when you couldn’t pop a jar open you handed it over, sighing, to the closest person, which wasn’t your girlfriend. Shinobu popped it open for you and you continued to help prep the food. That’s when you noticed Mitsuri pouting and when you met her eyes she blushed and looked away embarrassed, returning to helping prepare food. You didn’t think much about it but at dinner she was quiet. You wanted to ask if something was wrong but you didn’t want to embarrass her in front of the other hashira’s so you waited until you two were headed back to your shared cabin. Once out of ear shot you reached and tucked her hair behind her ear so you were able to see her face.

“Is something wrong?” You asked, still blushing she shrugged it off, shaking her head.

“No… nothing’s wrong, dear.” She answered quickly. It was an obvious lie.

“Did someone say something to you? To make you upset?”

“No… it’s… nothing important.” She said with a soft shake of her head, like she was trying to trick herself into forgetting about it. You laced your fingers with hers.

“If you're upset then it’s important. Come on, just tell me.” You prodded gently. She gave a little sigh and you could tell she was a little embarrassed but still she opened up to you.

“I’m strong… you know,” She starts, wearily looking over at you.

“I know that.”

“I can open things. Lift things…. You know, you don’t need anyone else to do that kind of stuff.” Slowly you nodded your head, trying to understand what she was saying. “I just wanted you to know that.” You gave her hand a gentle squeeze and that’s when it hit you. You absentmindedly let someone open a jar for you. It really was a small thing but you knew Mitsuri liked to be strong for you. You turned to hide your smile, you pulled her hand to your lips and kissed her knuckles. “That… reminds me, honey, I’m exhausted…” “You want me to carry you?” She asks excitedly as you softly laughed, nodding your head. MItsuri sweeps you off your feet with ease and you can tell she’s forgotten all about being upset.

Obanai doesn’t necessarily get jealous, it's more of a territorial thing. You thought for sure he hated you, little did you know he worshiped you from the start. Sometimes you’d have missions with him and he'd speak about three words to you and sometimes when you were lucky he’d speak full sentences. You didn’t know until later on it was because he was so damn nervous around you. On this particular mission, after slaying the demon, you two went out for drinks. It was wholly awkward so you excused yourself from the table and found your way to the bar. The bartender thanked you for helping with the demon and it felt nice to talk with someone. This whole thing played out for maybe two minutes before the bartender froze, eyes fearful as he glanced behind you. You furrowed your brows and turned as Obanai approached.

“We received another mission, we should get going.” He says as you sigh, nodding your head, he placed some money on the counter for your drinks.

“T-the drinks are on the house.” The bartender offered but Obanai just slid the money over, his eyes sharpening. You watched the whole thing, sort of speechless. When you followed him out he held the door open for you and gave one more heated glance at the bartender. The village you two were currently stationed at was quiet and peaceful.

“Where are we headed next?” You asked as you fell into step with him.

“A few towns over.” He answered and you nodded your head, knowing that was just about as much talking you're probably getting out of him tonight. “Unless you wanted to stay.”

“Stay here?” You asked, he was walking a few steps ahead of you. He didn’t answer. “I wouldn’t have minded having a few more drinks.” You joked.

“With that bartender?” He added and you didn’t miss the bitterness in his voice. You paused, deciding whatever you said next you had to tread lightly. You could tease him or you could clear things up.

“At least he talks to me.” You said. He stopped, turning to face you.

“Anything enlightening?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” You said and he raised his head just slightly.

“I would.”

“I’m joking, he was just thanking us for taking care of that demon.” You said truthfully as Obanai nodded his head, turning away from you as you walked. You didn’t want the conversation to end. Even though you two never talked much before you found yourself wanting to hear more of his voice, wanting more of his attention. Unwittingly you had all of his attention most of the time. You couldn’t think of anything to say.

“You make me nervous,” Obanai says over his shoulder. “That’s why I don’t talk much.”

“Oh,” You were stunned. He turned to face you again and you gave him a soft smile, you wanted him to feel comfortable with you. “Is it because I talk too much?” You ask. Obanai instantly shakes his head ‘no’.

“Don’t stop. I like the sound of your voice.” It almost sounded like a plea.

Sanemi lets it be known he’s jealous, he doesn’t care to hide it. Someone’s talking with you, smiling and laughing a bit too much with you? There’s Sanemi saddling up beside you, hand sliding around you to rest on your hip as he pulls you a bit closer to him. He’s shameless. When he first met you, you were in training to be a hashira under Tengen and Sanemi would watch your workouts sometimes. He’d always watch with this sort of intense expression and sometimes it caught you off guard and distracted you. In those moments Tengen would take you to the floor, huffing.

“I’m going to ban him from our training sessions if you can’t focus.” Tengen said, he straddled you, pressing you into the dirt as you cleared your throat.

“I’m so sorry sir, it won’t happen again.” And at least for the rest of practice that day you kept your eyes on your teacher. But after Tengen was finished with you he ruffled your hair.

“You’re a force to be reckoned with if you keep your eyes off the wind hashira.” He said and you turned bright red, unable to chirp back at him so he laughs heartily and waves as he leaves. You sigh, turning as Sanemi grabs a practice sword. You watch as he swings it around before pointing it towards you.

“Tengen’s a handsy guy. Already has three wives but watch out and you’ll be his fourth.” Sanemi stated dryly. You were exhausted from training and the way Sanemi moved closer to you you wondered if he was wanting to train you a bit himself. Sanemi circles you like a predator. You feel his eyes on every part of your body as you swallow dryly. When he walked back around the front he tossed you the sword and you caught it with ease. He grabbed a sword himself.

“I… am exhausted, Sanemi.” You huffed and he gave you a heated look.

“One round.” He points the tip at you. You swallowed down a sigh and pointed your sword right back at him. You weren’t bad by any means but you weren’t even close to the level of a hashira. Sanemi worked around your blade with practiced ease and you realized right there and then that Tengen was certainly going easy on you because Sanemi had backed you up in seconds and took you to the ground. He pressed himself against you, his sword against your neck. Your eyes glared up at him.

“Alright you won, can I go rest now?”

“Has that lousy sound hashira taught you anything?” Sanemi questions. He was obsessed with this. He saw the look on your face. “Ditch him, I’ll teach you from now on.”

“I’m not doing that. Tengen is a good teacher.” You defended. Sanemi pulled the sword away from your neck and with swiftness pulled you to your feet. He doesn’t let go of your hand though and the closeness to him has your heart beating wildly in your chest.

“I’m better.” He says as though it's a well known fact. You wondered what his motives were and what his grudge was against Tengen.

“What’s this about?” You ask and watch his eyes leave yours as he shamelessly looks at your lips, scanning what he wanted to before meeting your eyes again. This simple act wreaked havoc on your systems.

“I think it’s pretty clear, I want to teach you myself.”

“Why though?”

“Tengen doesn’t deserve to. That’s why.” He pulls you to him suddenly. “Do you understand?” His voice was low and soft, eyes searching. He was trying to tell you something with his eyes. He sighed, you guessed he needed to be more clear with his intentions so he gave a small shake of the head and dipped his head to meet your lips with his. You sucked in a breath as he kissed you hard enough to prove his point. You understood now, albeit a little late.

Rengoku’s jealousy is healthy. He trusts you fully but doesn’t trust anyone who would come up and flirt with you when he’s right there. A lot of people come up and talk with you and you're completely oblivious to their flirting so Rengoku will intervene to save you. On your very first date the waiter at the noodle place you two were at flirted with you practically the entire time. Rengoku didn’t get angry, in fact it made him smile that no matter how much flirting was being done you’d still be leaving this restaurant with him. But the moment the waiter stepped over the line and made you clearly uncomfortable Rengoku cleared his throat. He didn’t yell or make a scene, he just simply gave the waiter a fiery glare. The waiter was gone within seconds. You looked at your date, giving him a knowing and thankful smile.

The only time jealousy fully got under his skin was when he came back from a long mission and caught sight of you eating lunch in the courtyard with Giyu. He felt his cheeks burn at the sight. One thing Rengoku loved just slightly less than you was food. And what he loved more about it was eating it next to you. But here you were, eating it next to someone else. Sure it was childish but logic never really came into play when jealousy took over. When you walked back to your shared room and caught sight of his red hair your face completely morphed into light as you sprinted across the room and slammed against him in a bone crushing hug. He’d been gone for at least two months and it was almost unbearable.Rengoku, despite pouting slightly, wrapped you in a hug with the same vigor, breathing in your scent. You two stayed like that for a long moment.

“I missed you. When did you get back?” You asked, muffled against his chest.

“About an hour ago.” You pulled back at that, looking up at him. He wanted to mope but the moment your eyes met his smile so wide fitted to his lips.

“An hour?” You asked. “Why didn’t you come find me?”

“I saw you eating with Giyu, just didn’t want to bother you.” He says and knows he was being silly earlier. But being apart from you for two months had made him weary and heartsick for you.

“You could never bother me. Never.” You doubled down, pulling his face to yours, proving your point with a kiss. He mumbled an apology against your lips before you smiled into the kiss. When you pulled back you slightly smirked up at him. “Was that jealousy?” You asked as his entire face went beet red and you knew you were right. You tilted your head to the side. “Kyojuro…”

“I’m sorry,” He says, tightening his hold around you. “We’ve been apart far too long.”

Tengen also hides his jealousy pretty well but hides it behind jokes. You could not stand him when you first met. You were nothing like him. Liked the quiet, liked the dark, liked your solitude. Tengen on the hand liked you. He liked how quiet you were and wanted to diminish the dark for you and snatch away your solitude. You liked your personal space and he also liked your personal space.

You grew up an only child with cold parents in a depressing town so when you met Tengen and he was flashy and warm, naturally you sulked away from him. He tried everything. He bought you your favorite sweets and relished when you’d give him the smallest of smiles that looked more like a grimace but he’d take what he can get. He’d find you books to read and insist that you read it to him in return and when you begrudgingly agreed he’d melt into a puddle and sit as close as humanly possible. And when he’d pretend to fall asleep on your shoulder he really felt as though he could combust.

He’d never chased after someone so hard.

You were so elusive, just out of reach. When you met his wives they all adored you in the same way he did. It scared him though, you weren’t one to put yourself out there. You didn’t like many people and being with Tengen meant you’d be with four people at all times. Though the times that you were around and happened to run into him and his wives you didn’t seem overwhelmed. In fact the first time he saw you actually smile, like eyes crinkling cheeks blushing smile was when Hinatsuru pulled you into a hug and told you how pretty you looked. The only jealousy he felt then and there was not being able to have that smile directed at him. But after seeing that smile he finally realized it was possible to make you smile so let the teasing begin. Suddenly Tengen was around all the time. You didn’t notice it at first but suddenly he was everywhere. Teasing you, overtly flirting with you, towering over you and trying so damn hard to make you blush and smile the way his wife did.

It was exhausting for you. All this attention. What was even more exhausting is pretending that you didn’t want Tengen. There was a war within you. Wanting to be alone and wishing to never be alone again. Tengen and his life was the polar opposite of yours. Everything you couldn’t stand but found wanting to tolerate, wanting that shine in your darkness. Things all came to a head when you were at a fork in the road. Tagging along Tengen’s mission versus Giyu’s. To you it was an obvious choice. Tagging along with Giyu meant not really having to talk the entire time. And when you told Tengen things spiraled.

“So you got a thing for the quiet ones? Should’ve known.” He teased with this sort of practiced ease. He looked wholly unaffected by your decision.

“I don’t have a thing for anyone.” You corrected, you had been cleaning your katana when he found his way into your room somehow without your objections. Maybe it was all the time that you were spending with him things were just slowly becoming comfortable?

“You’re breaking my heart, sunshine.” If looks could kill Tengen would be long long dead. It wasn’t the first time he called you that nickname and it certainly would not be the last. Unfortunately.

“I’m very busy, you know.”

“Busy thinking of your mission with the stoic Giyu?” He teased and you breathed in and let out a huff of air.

“You are relentless. Is there something you want to say?” You ask over your shoulder. He’s uncharacteristically quiet behind you so you turn just slightly. Tengen is looking at you in the same way he’d been looking at you when he thought you weren’t paying attention. Tengen looked at you as though the light only shined on earth because you held the sun in place. You looked away and begrudgingly ignored that flip in your chest.

“You like him better than me.” And… he’s back to teasing. Well two can play that game.

“Yes I do.” You answered bluntly.

“Now you’re really killing me, Sun-”

“Nope. No nicknames. I’m not a pet.” He laughed at that, a warm laugh that you didn’t know how badly you wanted to hear again.

“I bet he isn’t able to get under your skin like I do.”

“You’re right.” You said and heard Tengen stand from where he was sitting. You go slightly rigid as you feel him walk closer to where you’re standing. He barely brushes against you as he looks over your shoulder. You try to continue to work like this was unaffecting you but your walls were slowly crumbling around you. There was only so long you could pretend you didn’t want a good thing. And Tengen was sure as hell a good thing.

“Giyu’s quiet. You won’t have an ounce of fun on his mission.”

“Killing demon’s isn’t supposed to be fun.” You throw back and you can practically hear the smirk in his voice as he responds.

“It is with me.” You roll your eyes and turn to tell him to get lost but when you turn and look up your faces are millimeters apart. Maybe even less. Your words falter and for a moment all you can think of is if you moved just barely forwards your lips would meet his. “Cat got your tongue?” He said huskily just loud enough for you to hear. It turns your insides out, burning you up from head to toe. You wanted to ask what he really wanted but it would ultimately be a stupid question. Tengen had never hidden his intentions from the start. Only you had. He pointedly moved his eyes to your lips but didn’t move any closer. You knew then and there he was practically handing over the reigns. If you wanted him you’d have to make the next move. You had a penchant for letting things pass you by. It was like you were begrudgingly obsessed with not letting yourself have anything. Love never seemed like something attainable. Friendship seemed like a lot of work and family never felt like family. “I’ll wait forever, if that’s what you want.” He whispered, interrupting your thoughts. Your heart hurts at that. You weren’t being fair. Making him wait forever was a selfish thing to do and even with all those things he still looked one hundred percent serious when he said it. He wouldn’t get tired of you. He could be the one to stick around for good. He could be the good.

“I”m still going with Giyu. I already promised.” You said.

“Break the promise, Sunshine, I’m practically begging.” As his face slightly dropped you leaned forwards and closed that gap that you had gotten far too comfortable with. Lips sliding against lips.

Hotaru was downright scary when he was jealous. Holy shit you were scared out of your mind. Your destroyed blade laid in pieces in front of you. Your heart was in your throat. You felt a hand on your shoulder as Rengoku gave you a reassuring squeeze.

“Tough break, kid.” He said with a shake of his head. “I’m sure he’ll understand.”

“The last time I broke my blade he yelled and ranted for three hours and passed out from lightheadedness.” You said, remembering the whole ordeal with a shiver. Rengoku shook his head.

“Your blade broke for a noble cause, make sure to tell him that.” He said, giving you one last squeeze before turning to leave. You bent over and grabbed the shattered remains. You were dead. Dead dead dead. You had so much life to live. You had sweets in the fridge that Mitsuri made for you. You had finally learned a few new cool tricks to use in fighting. You were visiting home next month. You sighed, gathering up the broken pieces in a cloth.

“I will pay you double… no triple the usual amount, please I beg you.” You had your hands clasped together in front of you as though silent praying. The night before last you had an idea. There was more than just Hotaru that could make you a blade in the village so if you enlisted someone else to make you a sword just this one time Hotaru wouldn’t lob your head off your shoulders.

“Mr. Haganezuka would kill me, bring me back to life then kill me again if I made a sword for you.” The villager trembled at the mere thought. He was clearly just as afraid of Hotaru as you were. You swallowed dryly.

“He would never know, please I beg you.I’ll give you any amount.” You begged but the villager just shook his head.

“He would know because it’s you. Any other client I might do it but you… absolutely not. You’re his favorite!” He said, looking over your shoulder as though Hotaru would enter his shop at any second.

“What does that mean! The only people that would know would be me and you! Please I will literally do anything!”

“And me.” A voice behind you says. Your blood goes cold. Slowly you turn around and sure enough there’s Hotaru. You’re caught like a deer in headlights. The villager actually screams and scrambles away, startling you. Hotaru’s expressions are hidden behind his mask so you’re not sure whether or not he’s angry quite yet. You’d seen his face once a few years ago when this peaceful village was attacked. You were surprised in the moment that someone so intense could look so beautiful. That didn’t dull that fact he was scary though.

“Mr. Haganezuka! W-what a surprise!” You choke out, cheeks going fuchsia. “Lovely weather we’re having today isn’t it?” You squeak out. Hotaru slightly moves his head and you force yourself not to bolt out the door screaming like the villager. You’re a hashira for god sakes! But to be completely truthful, Hotaru was scarier than any demon you’d ever faced.

“Very lovely. What brings to our village?” He asks, his voice scarily calm. You force yourself to give a terse smile.

“I- I came to relax of course!”

“Relax at my competitor's shop?” He asks and there is a sharp edge to his voice.

“Competitor? Wha? I didn’t-- I did not know you two were competing!” You nervously laughed it off, running a quick hand through your hair. “We-- we go way back. I was just visiting for a second before hitting the hot springs!” You say and start to walk towards the door but Hotaru’s hand juts out, blocking you from leaving. You freeze, you’re so close to him, he towers over you and when he turns to look down at you you feel weak in the knees. Slowly he brings his hand up, untying the back of his mask as it falls into his waiting hand and you’re met face to face with Hotaru once again. The years had passed but he still looked as beautiful as ever. You definitely make a sound, a strangled gasp, though if it was from fear or surprise no one would ever know.

“You… two… go way back?” He grits out. God… you’d done it now. You should’ve just went to him in the first place, accepted his scolding and went about your week. But here you were, ten feet under and you weren’t even sure after this debacle if he’d fix your sword for any amount of money. You cleared your throat.

“Uhm… y-yes?”

“Yes?” He repeated and the look on his face was as sharp as the sharpest katana. You were so dead. Goodbye family. Goodbye sweet treats.

“How… far back?” He asks. You stare at him. How far back? He caught you in the lie and you wished instead of twenty questions he’d just yell at you.

“Just like… a year.” You lied, Hotaru’s eyes narrowed on yours. The intense eye contact was insane. You almost forgot to breathe.

“You’ve known me longer than.” He articulates sharply. Your lips part, you're stumped for a moment.

“Uh… y-yes, sir, I have.” You stumble.

“Yet instead of coming to me, who you’ve known far longer, you go to my competitor to fix the sword that I made you.” Ah fuck. The color absolutely drained from your face.

“What?” You shook your head. “N-nuh uh! I-- I was just visiting like I said.” At the end of your sentence he holds up the cloth that had the broken pieces of your sword. You patted your bag and gasped. How the hell did he get that! “It-- that-- It’s not what it looks like, Mr. Hagenzuka! I-- well you see it broke… honorably of course… and I was coming to you-” Hotaru raised his hand to silence you and you instantly stopped talking. This was it. This was the end. Killed by your swordsmith. If you were quick you could probably wrestle back a piece of your katana and end your life before he could.

“If you ever break your sword again,” Hotaru practically growled.”And go to my competitor, I will-”

“Kill me?” You filled in.

“Kill him.” He fumed and then he reached for you. God he was gonna choke you out! His hand slid against your cheek and when he leaned in you sent out a final goodbye.

His lips met yours. His lips. Pressed against your lips. He was kissing you. Kissing? You? Your eyes were wide open. You had watched the whole thing in slow motion. Sure enough the moment heated as he stepped a bit closer to you, hand sliding around your hip to yank you a step closer to him. The most startling thing? The heat that suddenly ignited in your gut at the press of his mouth on yours. You made a startled sound in the back of your throat at the strange realization. What the hell was happening? When he pulled back your eyes were still open. Looking up at him as though he’d just smacked you right across the face.

“You… just kissed me.” You say. He doesn’t answer you with words, just nods his head, still looking pissed. “On the lips.”

“Yes.” He says sharply.

“Like lips on my lips.” “I’m aware of what I did.” Hotaru groans, looking down at you.

“Am I dead?” You asked, patting yourself for any life threatening wounds, Hotaru watches you, looking unamused.

“No. You are not dead.” “I… was dead sure you… were going to murder me. Like… bloody murder.”

“Why in the world would I murder you?” Hotaru asks, crossing his arms.

“B-because you… because I broke my sword and schemed to fix it behind your back with your competitor.” You say slowly as though he doesn’t remember the last ten minutes. But he just looks down at you like you’re saying something incredibly apparent.

“Yes. I know.” He growls but his anger doesn’t necessarily seem directed at you as he sighs heavily.

“I am… very… confused.” You force out. Your brain felt melted in your head. Hotaru looks down at you and for a moment so quick you could’ve missed it his eyes look… soft? No… that had to be a trick of the lights.

“You’re my client. No one else’s. Got it?” He punctuates seriously. You nod your head quickly. What the hell just happened?

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