#and then the change (coming home + around diff people)

[hurglewurm]

it's becoming really hard to draw again and I'm scared to go outside alone :))) perfectionist manifestation of the lack of control i feel in my life combined with my usual coping method of avoiding everything forever

[starlooove]

I feel like when ppl say tim is neglected it makes his story more boring but I also acknowledge my interpretation of it is like. More ‘what feelings would make sense based on what happened’ as opposed to ‘how can I justify the abandonment issues I see everyone else saying he has?’

[mangosrar]

never say never.

matt sturniolo x fem reader.

warnings: smut. angst idk????

an: not proof read. more parts coming soon 😛😛😛

"matt have you seen my car keys" she hollered at him as she scurried around the kitchen.

"where are you going?" he asked as he peaked his head aoundd the door.

"i have to go home" she tilted her head and watched as he walked over to her, wrapping his arms around her waist, resting his hands on the small of her back, pulling her close.

"you dont have to go home, just move in with me" he brought his face closer to hers as her hands fiddled with the buttons on his dress shirt that was now creased and exposing his chest.

"i cant matt you know this, i need my studio" she told him.

"ill build you a studio here, hell id build you a whole art gallery if it meant i got to live with you doll" he moved his face to her cheek and planted a soft kiss there.

7 months ago.

just as she was bending down to press a display sticker to one of the signs, she felt a hard slap to her ass, spinning around she was met with violet smirking, leaned back against nathan. the two of them looked picturesque together. she wore a shimmery champagne dress while he wore a black suit.

"you look great rue" violet gushed.

"thanks vee" she wore a white dress tonight. it was a little more showy than she wouldve liked, low cut and short, but she had bought it last minute and didnt have time to change her mind. violet loved it, of course, she lived for dressing sexy.

"you did all this rory?" nate asked. gesturing to the room around them as he spoke. the place was heaving, every single piece of art in there was either already sold, or bring inquired for, thr room was decorated 'diligently' as her boss byron described. never once had that man complimented her so she was taking whatever she could get.

"yeah, worked my little ass of and byron wont let me display one piece of my art in here" she huffed out a breath rolling her eyes.

"Douch bag knows yours would sell for more than hes ever made" violet uttered.

she didnt even get the chance to reply before one of the artists was tapping on her shoulder making her spin around. "someone would like to make an offer on one of my pieces downstairs."

"oh yes of course" she turned back around. "drink, mingle, have fun. ill find you guys in a bit"

after an hour of running up and down the stairs, about half the pieces were sold and the place was completely packed. the smell of liquor wafted through the air, mixing with the loud conversations.

"hey rory" voilet called from across the crowd. she gently made her way through the sea of people muttering soft 'excuse me's to everyone. when she finally made it to violet she had a wicked smile on her face that made her suspiciously squint her eyes.

"what?" she asked apprehensively.

"nate has a friend here that he wants you to meet. voilets words were saturated with intent, but rory couldnt place it. she tugged on her arm, walking them across the room.

she could see the back of nate, standing and talking to someone. as he turned to face them she saw who she was talking to.

the man was taller than nathan, and more built. his stare was intense. shockingly blue eyes and a strong stubbled jaw. he had dark hair that fanned out around his head perfectly. he wore a flawlessly tailored suit, designer by the looks of it. she could see tattoos peaking out from under his sleeves onto his hands, gripping a hilariously small looking glass.

"sorry to pull you away from your fun, but this is my childhood best friend, matthew sturniolo" nate reached over, patting his friend on the back. "matt this is aroura jovans" he introduced her by her full name, keeping it formal for the time being.

matt stared cooly down at her, extending his hand. "nice to meet you aroura"

despite hating the sound of her full name, hearing it on matts tongue made her swoon. she had never seen a man so handsome in her entire life.

finding her head, rory reached out, placing her hand over his, the size difference was stark and it made his cock jump. "nice to meet you too Matthew" she replied looking up at him. "you can call me rory"

he had picked up on the colour of her cheeks when they touched. this bookish little sweetheart was the last thing he expected to find when nate invited him here. to say he was intrigued was an understatement.

now.

he continued his trail of kissed down her neck. her hands came up to tug on his hair, earning a hum from matt.

"stay here with me" he muttered as he sucked dark circles into her skin. she sighed and leaned her head back, giving him better access. she wanted to give in so bad, she wanted to let him have his way with her right now.

"i cant matt, i have things to do" her chest was rising and falling at a rapid pace as she desperately tried to keep it together, but matts groping hands and his mouth were proving to be a real challenge.

"let me take care of you baby" and before she could even protest. he had hiked her up onto the kitchen counter and shoved his hand into her panties, his lip between his teeth, eyes watching her face intensely. his fingers traced up her folds making him let out a low groan as he left light circles on her clit, pulling a shaky whine from rorys mouth.

"look at that honey, youre soaked" she couldnt help but whine at his words. his fingers quickened and his touch became firmer, prompting her head to lull back as she gripped one hand on his shoulder and the other smacked down onto the counter behind her. her hips started rocking in rhythm with his hand. he knew just how to work her.

"it would be so mean of me to leave you like this doll" his voice was patronizing and cocky. matt once again brought his mouth to her neck and licked a stripe up her throat, pulling a lewd moan from her.

"dont stop matt ngh- pl-" and before she could even finish her sentence, he cut her off by yanking his hand away from her and plopping his fingers into his mouth.

she stared at him wide eyed, mouth hanging open and the feeling of her approaching high fizzling out.

matt gripped her hips and pulled her off the counter, standing her back on her own, now shaky legs before reaching into his back pocket and pulling out her keys. he placed them in her hand before pressing a firm kiss to her lips.

"have a great day baby ill see you for dinner" and with that he was off, sauntering back off into his office.

matt returning to a normal life once he met aroura never seemed like anything out of the ordinary, business was well, he was going to dinner parties, he had fake manners, all prepared for a complete disregard for his past life. he wondered if the straw would ever come and he would return to his late affairs, then again he wondered if that straw had already been pulled. he knew he couldnt hide from himself much longer. his biggest enemy was the man he saw in the mirror. he was filtered with anger and disgust for himself. each day, in and out, he knew what rory didnt. surely the truth would come out, it was just a matter of when. every time his phone rang and her face came up he was sure this was it, thinking of some excuse or lie he could tell before answering and of course each time he was wrong, after a few months of him fighting with himself he gave up. realising there was no way she would ever find out. but never say never.

taglist: @christinarowie332 @biimpanicking @soursturniolo @freshlovehacker @urmyslxt @kitaysworld @kvtie444 @mattsd0ll @flowerxbunnie @itsjennarose @lovingsturniolo @mattslolita @chrisenthusiast

also if i forgot u from my taglist or u wanna be added lmk!!!!

[nevertheless-moving]

Hesina Willshaper AU

Step one canon divergence: Amaram's army doesn't do the kind thing. Kaladin's listed next of kin are sent a letter stiffly informing them that their son is a deserter and, thanks to the highmarshall's mercy, has been sold into slavery.

Step two canon divergence: a light spren has started following Hesina around.

The letter reaches hearthstone.

Hesina cries the bones of the first ideal through labor pangs. Their wretched diamond lamp grows slightly dimmer during childbirth.

Hesina and Lirin discuss if there's anyway they could possibly find their son and pay his slave debt. They're not optimistic.

Hesina talks with her lightspren.

Lirin and Hesina talk again about trying to find their son, now that Oroden is starting to be weaned.

Hesina appears to have grown taller. No one but the two of them seem to be aware but they're worried other future changes might be more noticeable.

Hesina and Lirin realize that she can mold rock as if it was clay with stormlight. A spark of hope for freeing their son emerges.

The two leave town.

They find a slave market in the nearest city. They see other parent's sons, but not their own.

Hesina swears to free those in bondage. Stormlight starts coming easier.

They make a tunnel. Rebellion follows. Lirin is horrified by the violence (the violence is not actually that bad all things considered. a couple guards dead. some bystanders frightened. Fair amount of property damage as they rob the military barracks food supply, steal every sphere that's not nailed down. and also steal the spheres that are nailed down. (Lirin won't admit it but the stealing from lamps part is kindof fun.)).

Many of those they freed flee. Some return to slavery willingly, scared of retribution. Many decide to follow the Radiant woman who has vowed to see others like them freed.

The group proceed to the next town. They find another slave market. They make a tunnel. There is more resistance than last time, clearly they were warned something might happened. Hesina kills a man.

Lirin is terrified by what his wife is becoming.

Hesina swears to shelter those without homes. The lightspren forms an unbreakable hammer, perfect for knocking crem free from buildings. And for knocking down men.

A now larger motley group seeks shelter in a mountain town razed in one of Alethkar's many skirmishes over the last decades. Hesina builds homes. Lirin begs her to stay here, to stop fighting before she goes to far down this path, not to go to war. The slaves they've freed are split, many wanting to stay, hide, some wanting to fight and free more, with a radiant at their head, there's a real chance to change things. Hesina lingers, practicing, spends some time falling in and out of shadesmar.

Lirin and Hesina separate.

Lirin stays with Oroden and the noncombatants. Hesina leads those who want to fight to another city, still trying to find their son, still trying to free everyone's children.

The town settles into a routine. Hesina and Lirin miss one another. This is the first time they've gone longer than two days without seeing each other in the last 25 years, and the two days was only when Lirin had to travel to where someone had overturned a cart on the road nearby and Hesina had to stay and watch the children, too young to travel. besides that, it had been every day. they keep turning to talk to each other.

While the army is gone, the free town is attacked by those trying to reclaim her property.

Hesina swims deliberately through shadesmar for the first time. reaches lirin just in time.

Lirin accepts that not fighting won't stop the violence. (It breaks him just a little bit)

Hesina shouts that one person's freedom ends where another's begins. She vows to fight against powers which would rather see their people in cages then homes. A thousand light spren rise up to grant her strength.

(yes I know she's moving fast through the oaths. but she's always been a thoughtful woman and she raised two children who asked difficult questions and now shes mother to another several hundred. honestly she had already worked through some of these concepts before they became actionable on such a grand scale.)

Lirin vows to support his wife through whatever trials the Almighty seems inclined to put her through.

The lightspren, who has started to get some memories back, remembers Oathgate Spren not terribly far from here by physical realm measurements, guarding a hidden human city

the stone remembers the way the radiants once traveled.

The path to a kingdom in the sky is slow — there are many cages to break on the way.

Kaladin doesn't know it right away, because people weren't exactly telling slaves about the freedom riots, but slave wagons start having harder and harder times reaching the shattered planes after him.

Someone mocks Lirin for having a wife so determined to pursue the masculine art of war. Lirin gets pissy and decides to show them by learning to read and write to help support the administrative side of his wife's kingdom wide asskicking.

The highprinces lead a fairly successful misinformation campaign about the slave riots, lots of accusations of rampant violence, the dregs of society lashing out, you can probably imagine

The ongoing rebellion is large enough that word trickles to the bridge crews, encouraging bridge four's hope for escaping, while also making it substantially more daunting, as the crews are even better guarded than canon.

Rumors of a female radiant swirl around. Most people assume it's a woman in shardplate with some sort of tunneling fabrial, which is still pretty crazy, but several major players Take Note

A very large and tired huddled mass of people reach Urithiru. there's just enough squires, and two new willshapers with their own oaths, to make tunnels through the shattered planes and reach the oathgate without being seen by the alethi armies

the parshendi army is another story, but some are willing to take a chance listening to the neshua kadal, and come with them.

The political implications of Dalinar freeing 1000 slaves is slightly more complex, especially considering the rebellions have been impacting Sadeas the hardest

About a week after being freed, Kaladin hires a spanreed intermediary to write home and find out if his hometown is alright (again, a lot of misinformation and rumors about the violence of the riots)

Is informed by Laral that his family left town looking for him shortly before the riots started, were presumed dead

Kaladin is under the impression that 1) his parents are dead because of him 2) the Rebellion is not the righteous fallback plan that he and the men were hoping it was.

Hesina has many reasons to go to the shattered planes. Nearest part of the trade network for food and necessary goods. Many slaves to be freed from there, and a part of her still hopes to find her son, even thought its been so long. Home of Alethkar's political leaders, the source of Alethkar's slavery.

I have spent. A LOT of time imagining many possible reunions between kaladin and his mom in my highly specific high oath hesenia au. She has a couple faces she could wear when visiting the planes. Brightlady. Radiant. Cagebreaker. Queen of Urithiru (not her real title, they're tentatively trying the Listener council model, but they know what the Alethi will understand). Even darkeyed mother, if she and Lirin approach slowly from a different direction. Honestly, pleased as I am with all of the above, a lot is flexible, the key here is kaladin going "MOM??" In some fashion One possible Reunion Here

Thank you @sorchasolas for conversation and the urithiru ideas and for leading me to actually write all this down <3

[wheredafandomat]

Carnal desires

Loki x female reader

18+| contains smut, a lot of smut and like barely any plot. My smut feels so repetitive 🙄 or is it just meeee?? Anyways I thought let’s change it up a bit with diff scenarios - these will be very random 😂

Scenario: imagine you and Loki being at some kind of party together maybe with friends etc and the drunker you both get the more you’re giving each other the eye, the I wanna tear your clothes off and bang you right here eyes but you know you can’t so you occasionally smile knowing that as soon as you get home it’s game over.

“I think we’re going to head home now.” You announce, refusing the shot being offered to you by Natasha.

“Home? The nights just beginning.” She insists, looking around at your peers for support.

“Me and Loki need to be up early tomorrow” you lie “besides, I’ve already had too much to drink.”

“Yes, me too.” Loki agreed, wondering why you both had to be up tomorrow.

“Yep, so we better be going.” You smile politely at everyone, grabbing Loki’s hand before dragging him out of the club and slamming your lips onto his in a kiss that leaves you both dizzy.

“Why do we have to be up early tomorrow?” He asks breathlessly.

“We don’t.” You answer, kissing him again before breaking the kiss to order an Uber.

The whole journey you and Loki barely pull apart, either kissing each other or subtly touching hoping that the driver is none the wiser. The more your lips moved against one another’s, the slower the kiss was as if you were savoring the flavour of whisky on his tongue. His lips moved to your neck as your head fell back against the headrest behind you, granting him further access as your eyes fell closed before feeling the car come to a stop.

“Loki, baby, we’re home.” You spoke, making him look up at you as the driver cut his eye at you in the rear view mirror.

“Home.” He repeated, pausing his administrations before getting out of the car and almost falling as he sped to your side of the car, opening the door. You stepped out, Loki offering his arm for support as you walked back towards the apartment.

The elevator ride up was passed with giggling and quick pecks before you finally reached home. You struggled putting the key in the door as Loki kissed your neck from behind you. Once you were finally inside, you almost tripped in before Loki caught you, spinning you around to face him before pulling you into a passionate kiss. He pressed you against the wall, tilting his head to deepen the kiss, kicking the door closed in the process.

“I’ve been waiting for this all night.” He spoke between kisses, unbuttoning his shirt, the both of you sobering up a little at the prospect of finally being able to give into your carnal desires. “You have no idea how hard it was to keep my hands off of you.” He continued, leaving open mouth kisses across your collar bones. You pushed his shirt off of him before running your hand down his bare chest, reveling in the feeling of finally being able to touch his skin. Your hand ventured lower before you moved it against his growing length still covered by his trousers.

“Oh I think I have an idea.” You grinned as Loki lifted your dress. You helped free his cock knowing that this was going to be a quick, hard fuck. There wasn’t going to be any pleasantries exchanged, this was going to be two people chasing their orgasms like a moth to a flame. Your head fell back against the wall behind you as he lifted one of your legs, securing it against his waist as he used his free hand to venture between your thighs.

“You didn’t wear any panties” he almost cooed “good girl.”

You bit your lip at the praise, hearing the sound of his fingers gliding through your slick folds. You continued palming him before he retracted his fingers, spreading your arousal along his length before pressing it against your entrance. Your lips met as he entered you. He set a fast pace, fucking you against the wall as your moans filled the space. His hand crashed against the wall next to your head as he steadied himself, feeling your walls gripping him. His head fell into the crook of your neck as he continued moving against you. You were both so close, Loki panting in your ear as you dug your nails into his back, moaning his name.

“I’m gonna cum.” He spoke in your ear, licking the shell of it as you spoke incoherently, saying a variation of the same. He thrust a few more times before stilling his movements, shooting his load deep inside of you spurring on your own orgasm. You stayed like that for a few moments, unmoving, basking in your joint high before you felt a mixture of you both leaking out of you as Loki began to pull out. You smiled to yourself knowing that sex like this was always followed by a shower together.

Scenario: imagine inviting Loki over for dinner at your parents house before they suggest you both stay the night considering it’s late now and home is a long drive away.

“Loki we can’t” you insisted, deciding to give him a hand job instead of the full throttle which is what you both truly desired “my parents are right next door.”

“Then we’re just going to have to be very quiet aren’t we.” He winked, turning his head towards you and kissing you.

“We can’t.” You said again, breaking the kiss as you tried to stroke him to completion knowing that feeling his erection against you all night was going to make you give in and ride him to the high heavens so it was better this way.

“Say you don’t want to and we won’t.” He assured, looking into your eyes lovingly as you narrowed your gaze at the annoyingly handsome man. Of course you wanted to. Wordlessly, you stopped the movement of your hand around his cock and kissed him. Loki made his way on top of you, pressing you against the bed as you widened your legs, welcoming him between them. Reaching between you both, Loki pulled your panties to the side as his cock rested against your hipbone.

“Are you sure?” He whispered, looking down at you.

“Gosh, yes.” You stressed before Loki smiled, mostly to himself and entered you slowly. You instantly regretted this, the feeling euphoric as he bottomed out. It was going to be torture to keep silent.

“You feel so good.” He grunted, thrusting into you.

“Shh.” You answered, eyes tightly shut as you tried to focus on not making a sound. He moved slowly, not wanting the headboard to bang against the wall but it made the feeling even more overwhelming. He filled you completely, barely pulling out before filling you again. You felt him everywhere, shrouding you as you bit into his shoulder trying to stifle your moans. He moved his hips differently, grinding into you as your eyes flew open.

“Fuckk Lokii.” You panted.

“Shh.” He warned cheekily, continuing his movements as you clenched your walls around him causing his eyes to roll backwards. Before long he was whispering in your ear, telling you how perfect you were, how good you felt as you quietly moaned, your climax threatening to consume you. One of your hands played with his hair as he increased his pace, his words turning into breathy moans as you both lost control. Needless to say, Loki was never invited to stay over again.

Scenario: now imagine being an Avenger and avenger Loki takes a bullet for you during a mission. Despite being on the same team, you didn’t get along very well so this was shocking to say the least and definitely definitely erotic.

Once you got back from the mission, Loki was carried away to the infirmary whilst you followed along, wanting to ensure he was alright considering he had lost a lot of blood. Despite being shot, he asked you if you were alright after shoving you out of the way of the bullet which left you falling to the floor. You quickly nodded before his leg gave way, sending him to the ground as you called for backup. Since then, you had been comforting him on the journey home despite not being on the best of terms with Loki most of the time.

“Y/n, we’ll take it from here.” Banner stopped you, gesturing to himself and the nurse accompanying him.

“No, I want to go in too, I promised.” You insisted, strangely protective of Loki.

“You can visit him once he’s stable.” He stated, Steve pulling you backwards before you gave up, knowing he was in safe hands. Ignoring whatever pep talk Steve was giving you, you made your way to your room, slamming the door behind you before making your way into the shower.

The water streamed through your hair and down your body as you replayed the mission. If you weren’t so careless with your danger perception, Loki would be fine right now. This was all your fault.

You changed into some comfortable clothes before making your way back to the medwing where Thor was leaving Loki’s room. You felt nauseous, expecting Thor to reprimand you for allowing his brother to be harmed but instead he hugged you.

“I’m so glad you’re alright.” He spoke into the crook of your neck as you hugged him back.

“How’s Loki?” You asked, confused as to why Thor wasn’t angry.

“He’s fine, just asleep, however Banner said that if the bullet had hit you, it probably would have been fatal.” He continued as you paled.

“Fatal.” You uttered, shocked at the prospect of having potentially died today.

“It was vibranium, it would have severed your artery and gone straight through you. You humans are very fragile, too mortal.”

“Oh” you answered, still shocked “yes.”

“But don’t fret” he beamed, breaking the hug “you’re healthy and Loki is fine, he’s already healing.”

“Good.” You smiled.

“Come on, let’s go get something to eat, he’ll be awake later on and you’ve probably not eaten since breakfast.” Thor suggested. You went with him, thinking about how Loki had saved your life.

Once you had eaten, you went back down to the infirmary hoping that Loki was awake now. Through the blinds you could already see that he was. You knocked the door before pushing it open, eyes meeting Loki’s.

“You know you really are stupid.” You spoke.

“Oh no, I know” he dismissed, waving one of his hands “I take a bullet for the girl and she berates me.” He huffed, causing you to smile, him mirroring it.

“How are you?” You asked, making your way to him.

“Well my thigh is killing me and now I’ve got to call the nurse to change the dressing.” He answered.

“Oh don’t bother calling the nurse, I’ll do it.” You offered knowing it was the least you could do.

“You can change a dressing?” He asked incredulously.

“You can change a dressing” you mocked, mimicking him “yes I can change a dressing, I can also stitch together a wound and roundhouse kick you to the floor.” You warned.

“Oo, scary.” He grinned.

“Come on, let me see.” You prompted, sitting at the edge of the bed as he uncovered his thigh. You were intrigued by how much it had healed already and couldn’t help but run your hand around the area. Loki watched you as you stared down at the cut intensely before feeling your hand just a little too high causing him to flinch.

“Stop!”

“Sorry.” You quickly apologised leaving him regretting his outburst.

“I didn’t mean to snap, it’s just—” he began before pausing.

“Yes?”

“I’m-I’m a little—sensitive.” He rushed out.

“oh OH oh, sorry, yes of course.” You answered, ignoring how flushed you felt at the realisation before you exchanged an awkward smile with Loki and began setting out the things you needed from his bedside table.

Loki bit the inside of his cheek as he tried to focus on remaining as flaccid as he could despite how tenderly you were touching him. It felt impossible, like pushing a huge boulder up a mountain although, he was sure he could muster up enough seidir to do even that unlike this. Sweat began beading on his forehead, his teeth digging into his bottom lip as he wondered how long this was going to take. He tried to remove his focus from you and your dainty little hands and how they’d look caressing him and focus on something more morbid instead. Asgard burning, No, NO, he scolded himself thinking about how much he’d like that. Right, think of something else, he began internally until you interrupted.

“Um” you uttered, just above a whisper noticing that Loki was now sporting a semi. Hearing you, Loki was aghast as he realised.

“Oh norns, y/n, I’m so sorry.” He apologised.

“No it’s fine, it’s nice—NATURAL, it’s natural” you quickly corrected yourself before dropping the gauze which fell under the bed. Huffing, you made your way onto the floor to pick them back up before lifting your head and realising that you were now kneeling between Loki’s legs, eye level with his erection. You glanced up at him as he looked down at you with an unreadable expression as you began talking, unable to stop yourself. “Well considering this is all my fault” you began, running your hand up his uninjured thigh “maybe I should take care of your little problem.”

“Little?” Loki scoffed before apologising as you rolled your eyes.

Licking your lips, you freed his cock, moving your hand up and down it soothingly as Loki released a breath. Moving closer, you lowered your head before licking the tip of his cock, reveling in the taste of him. You took him in your mouth, flicking the tip with your tongue as Loki began to pant. One of his hands bunched up into she sheet below him as you sucked his cock, picking up his free hand and placing it against the back of your head to guide your movements.

“Oh y/n, who knew you were so naughty” he sniggered, hips thrusting up a little as you deepthroated him “naughty naughty girl.”

You wrapped your hand around the base of his length, looking up at him as you sucked just the tip, a smirk painting his face. You continued until you felt his body tensing, hips stuttering as he came into your mouth, you swallowing.

“Good girl.” He praised, wiping the corner of your mouth as you released him, standing back up. “Well that’s one way of thanking me” he smiled “I should take bullets more often.”

“Don’t breathe a word of this to anybody.” You warned.

“Of course.” He assured before you spun on your heels to leave and relieve the tension growing in your abdomen at the sight of Loki’s erect cock let alone the taste.

“Y/n wait” he called after you, “the wound.” But you were already gone.

Now I want more 😂 hope you enjoyed! The last one was my favourite

Tags:

@lokisninerealms @lokiprompts @mischief2sarawr @lulubelle814 @lokisgoodgirl @mochie85 @eyesbluelikethetitanic @vickie5446 @mcufan72 @fictive-sl0th @peaches1958 @lokilvrr @evelyn-kingsley @strangelockd @xorpsbane @lovingchoices14 @donaweasley @sailorholly

[tuxebo]

for my old friends, like og old, you might remember this post. however, my sweet anon that just sent that rdr2 ask about my thoughts on it, you just unlocked my tenth eye. arthur morgan with the poshest bastard known to fucking man. your fancy words, tight ass clothes, even your perfect posture is disgusting. (to which, of course, you would say the exact same about him)

when you fall into a ditch for arthur to stumble upon, the worst person that could possible find you, to say you had a rocky start is the understatement of the century. why he saves you? probably because he assumed you were wealthy and based in the area, he's be able to steal from your estate if you just trusted him and shared a little too much information.

come to find out, you're a little brat miles away from home and now you're his responsibility because 1. you know about the gang and their location and aren't allowed to just go and 2. no one else wants to deal with you.

to be fair, you are not entirely useless. yes, trust that arthur puts your hiney to work, as soon as your broken ankle is healed. you speak to the rich folk that typically wouldn't give him the time of day on his behalf, negotiate the shit out of whoever is unfortunate enough to do business with the both of you, you also help him befriend some of these rich folk so that him and javier can pay them a "visit" later.

granted, all of those "pros" comes with a price because you are nothing if not high maintenance. also, you talk a lot. it kind of comes with the territory, knowing all that you claim you do. arthur pays the price (well the gang does because he cuts it from what he donates) and it's definitely a good cause.

however, let's talk about the little things. the way western riders and english riders ride are undeniably different.

first off, hands. you're used to riding using both hands at all times, you were around people that did the same. you heard about people who didn't (western riders) but now you were around them all the damn time. imagine the first time you saw this man use his gun while on a moving horse, taking a perfect shot? man, oh man. he does pick up on your little fascination rather quickly and in the beginning uses it to show off, to one up you, but intentions change, at some point.

more on hands, when you try to ride with one hand, you almost fall off when your horse took got startled and picked up a little too much speed. worry not, however, our hero caught you before you could fall and readjusted you with his free hand. like nothing happened, he just kept riding unfazed like nothing happened at all.

secondly, sports. occasionally, when out at about, someone would notice you don't exactly look like your average joe from valentine. like arthur was challenged to a shooting competition, you were challenged to a fox hunting, which you gladly agreed. you did quite a bit of fox hunting with your friends and family back at home, now it was just you and arthur versus three other guys, which was of no concern. of course, you beat them by a day, earning the two of you a quite a bit of coin. but the money is actually in watching you, ever so concentrated, track a fox. arthur didn't realize you were useful for more than that mouth of yours, which you claim is his fault because he never asked.

finally, forms of control. the way you ride is very different. while it's something that kind of flies over your head, it's not so much the case for arthur. at first he noticed the way you ride and it kind of annoyed him, but it was appreciable when he watched you ride in an empty dressage ring you stumbled upon when you stumbled across some large estate. why you move so much on the saddle over such little distance, maybe he'd get answers from sitting back and watching? can't hurt to try.

more on forms of control, one thing you do notice is how "aggressive" arthur rides. not in an abusing the horse way, but it's nothing like your gentle riding. you had control with your reins, he did in a different way. this kind of ties in with his balance and ability to ride and do different things at the same time, but he was able to lasso people and pull them to his horse without a much thought, take control of horses while racing alongside it on his own like he was a sport. as neat as you kept yourself, sweaty arthur during sunset? yes, please.

okay, if you know, you know. all this while being enemies?? now, i could go on for hours. he is so fine. i want to talk more abt it so bad, someone please tell me you see the vision.

[ghostybaby000]

Out with the Old | Part 4

Part 1 part 5

Pairing: Simon Ghost Riley x reader

Part 1 above!

Word count: 2.8k

Warnings: 18+, fighting, cursing, alcohol, general violence, symptoms of panic

Tag List: @yyiikes @talooolaaloolla @strawberrygateau @cumsluut @sofiacoppolaslut @blackbeautyiloveyouso @casalucard

I apologize for taking so long to get this out, things have been a little crazy! I hope you enjoy :)

You look over yourself in the mirror as you finish brushing out your hair, this was it. Thursday had come far faster than you would have hoped, and now it was time to see if your patience and sincerity was worth it.  

Brushing your clothes off and standing tall, you leave the bathroom to finish getting ready. You move to the small coffee table where you had been relaxing before to check your phone, it was 6:18 and you had no new messages. Feeling a small drop in your stomach, you decide that once and for all tonight had to be final. You feel yourself beginning to reminisce in your trials of the relationship, how it had been better at some points and worse at others, one outweighing the other. You blamed yourself partially for not expressing your needs, but knew that there was a serious lack of effort coming from his side as well. 

Shaking your head you stand from the couch, where you had sat instinctively as you began to think. It felt better to try and be hopeful than already preparing for the worse, although you wouldn’t allow yourself to feel disappointed, either way tonight meant change. 

You grab your purse, pulling out your keys you leave your apartment locking the door, turning to leave you check your watch, 6:31. As you get downstairs you’re thankful that you’ve dressed slightly warmer, the sun beginning to set meant it would get colder than this by the time the night was through. You begin to make your way down to the road, watching the cars fly by, waiving your hand as a taxi pulls over.

Again Ghost was listening to the group, giving them a head nod or even a small chuckle as they talked about various things. Tonight the bar wasn’t too busy, most people chatting or laughing leaving it to feel typical. Ghost looked around at the numerous T.V.s playing sports or broadcasting channels, nothing holding his attention very long, when the door chimes. 

He looks over from the T.V.’s to see, was that you? He watched you another moment longer, realizing that it was he leaned back in his chair, turning his head back towards the group. He was watching as Price told another story, although he wasn’t listening. His own mind dragged him back to sometime last week, truly not thinking much of it until you had shown again. He hated how quickly seeing you had made his brain pull the attention from almost everything else. He would never drop his awareness of the environment, of what was going on around him, but he couldn’t help his mind wandering. 

Again he makes small glances as you walk past the bar to a different table than before, still tucked in the back. Memories of the night he had interacted with you first came flying back, how you had looked scared and then cold and tired on the curb outside. He felt his jaw tick thinking back to the person who had picked you up. 

He took a breath as he tried to refocus on the group, but to no avail. His mind continued to throw thoughts at him, thoughts of how he couldn’t sleep as well that night when he got home, or how he had drawn the conclusion that he could do better, which came as a surprise to him. It wasn’t that he doubted his capabilities of being respectful or considerate, but rather that he didn’t know that he had ever thought something similar to it before. 

Sitting down, you adjust yourself to be seated comfortably, pulling stray hairs from your face and tucking them away. Within a few minutes a waitress comes by, although you simply tell her you are waiting for someone and wanted to wait to order. Time felt as if it were dragging on as the screens above the bar flickered through different channels, your knee beginning to bounce in anticipation. You pull out your phone to check the time, 6:44.  You sit back in your chair as your mind begins to pick away at your nervousness. You had told him Thursday at 7, right? The same bar as before, it didn’t seem complicated to you. Flipping your phone over on to the table you take a deep breath. You wouldn’t do this anymore, this blaming yourself before you get a true explanation, this was on him now. You tried to convince yourself further that you had to be ready to cut all your relations with him. You wouldn’t allow yourself to wind up again at his home or in his car, not if you didn’t feel it was where you belonged. You fold your arms Infront of you on the table as you again watch one of the many screens surrounding the bar, when the door chimes. 

Ghosts attention is again pulled from the group as the door sounds again, a habit that has been built for quite some time, as disgust forms in his mind and his hand grips his drink slightly harder. He watched as your excuse of a boyfriend made his way over to the table where you sat. Ghost looks him up and down to see his outfit is poorly thrown together, and that he had a slight stumble as he made his way across the bar. His lips press together as he feels himself becoming irritated, you were still here waiting for him, and he had been drinking. 

Your attention snaps to the door as he makes his way inside. A small true smile comes over your face, he was here and-looking to your watch, on time. Though, your smile begins to fade as he makes his way closer, walking through the bar he sways ever so slightly, but you don’t doubt what you’ve seen. He gets to the edge of the high top table, making his way into the seat across from you, not making eye contact as he settled. 

He looks up after a moment of silence and begins to talk to you, his voice and smell confirming that he had in fact been drinking. 

‘Well, I’m here aren’t I?’ He lets out a laugh that makes your stomach twist, he really didn’t care. You throw out a causal ‘yeah’ as he picks up the small menu Infront on him. You felt plenty of emotions and didn’t entirely know how to react. You were angry for him showing up in this state, you were trying to feel positive about him being at least on time, you were feeling disappointed in yourself for thinking this would work, and you felt foolish for letting yourself stay in something so unhealthy.

You too pick up a small menu as you look through the options, you knew you wouldn’t be able to eat. To your relief a waiter made their way by asking if you had wanted something to drink. You stick to a soda as he orders a drink you hadn’t heard of before, and then orders a burger with fries. You told the waiter you weren’t going to have anything as he turned and left you to silence. 

You look over his outfit and see stains from various items near the collar of the shirt and on one of the sleeves, he didn’t even try. He turned in his chair to be facing a  T.V. pointing to the screen he began to talk about what game was playing and the players. Your drinks came within a few minutes and you were grateful for the distraction, placing your straw in your drink you look to him. Almost as if he could tell you were watching him he turned in his seat to again be facing you, his eyes drawn to the drink Infront of him and then up to you. He began to drink, where you figured you had found room for discussion. 

‘So, how was your day?’ There was a moment of silence as he continued to sip his drink, an ‘Mmh’ echoing from the glass. He set the glass back down wiping the condensation from his hands on his pants, he pauses as if trying to remember. 

‘I spent some time cleaning the place up. Then I got some gas and headed here.’ You felt a small glimmer of relief watching as he looks around the bar. He had heard you then, and it made you feel almost better that he had cleaned up the house. Yet, you couldn’t convince yourself that this was better than him not showing at all, not to mention him lying. His burger came out of the small kitchen, as he quickly grabbed it and began eating, again an excuse to avoid conversation.

You watched him eat, feeling pathetic as reality seemed to sink in farther and faster than ever before. The stains on the shirt, the lack of interest, how could you ever see this as acceptable? You thought back to the beginning where effort was in mass quantities. He would pick you up at a decent time and help you to the car and to your front door, he had manners and was respectful, where had it all gone wrong? 

You both sat in silence as you waited for him to try and begin a discussion, about anything really. As he continued to eat his burger and fries, watching the T.V. you found yourself growing angry. He finally put his food down before finishing his drink, staring to the table then sliding out of his seat. He looked as if he were going to be sick, slightly swaying where he stood, he tapped his hand on the table,

‘I’ll be right back, I-I’m just gonna go…to the bathroom.’ He sauntered off towards the bathrooms, hitting his shoulder on the doorframe as he pushed himself inside, your head fell in disappointment. You were feeling as if you should leave, he could get a cab home, this clearly wasn’t going to work in your favor. You watch the bathroom as people go in and out, when he reappears almost looking worse than when he entered. 

He sauntered over to the table, again heaving himself into the seat. You were now burning with an anger that was filled with pity and disrespect, it was time to end things.

 ‘Hey, I wanted to say thanks for coming out tonight.’ You started to speak, but it was only when you got the end of your sentence that he looked up to you. You pushed on, hoping that you would be clear. 

‘I think that… That it would be best if we stopped seeing each other…For good.’ He crinkled his brow and murmured a noise that you couldn’t make out as a word. You push on,

‘I’ll pay for the drinks and food, I just don’t see this working-‘

‘What?’ He had his hands interlocked on the table now, a serious look on his face, the slight slur in his voice had gotten worse.

‘I just don’t think this is-‘

‘No, I get that part, I jus…I just don’t think that your right.’ You were going to try and explain yourself before he cut in again

‘No, no. I showed up. You told me to show up, and…and HERE I AM!’ His voice grew louder, with a pinch of irritation you knew wasn’t a good sign. His face became slightly more red as he stared at you, almost as if he were confused. 

You stand to get your things, slowly sliding out of the chair, people were looking towards you now. 

‘Listen I think you should get home and get some sleep.’ His jaw opens slightly as if he were shocked by your direct tone. 

‘Well what, are, are you just going to leave?’ He was staring at you more aggressively than before, although your heart was beating rapidly you held a stern look on your face. You grabbed your purse off the edge of the chair as he started to get out of his seat. You turn to leave when he grabs your wrist. 

‘Let me go.’ You look into his eyes that are in a panic bouncing between your own. You give your hand a tug, although it didn’t move. You lean in closer, keeping your voice low but as serious as you could force it,

‘Let.me.go.’ 

Ghost had tried to keep himself focused on the group and whatever they were talking about now, but he still couldn’t resist looking over to see that you were there. He watched as you sat there awkwardly, your body language clearly indicating you were upset or didn’t feel comfortable. His own leg began to bounce in anticipation, although he didn’t know what for, resting his hands over his knees he took a breath and tried again to refocus. 

He watched as the man stood from the table and made his way to the restrooms, glancing to you he saw you staring into the nothingness. He felt a sort of irritation now, watching the man come back from the restroom, only to ignore you further. More time went on as the group continued to joke and discuss various things when Ghost hears something. Outside of the groups discussion he hears a whisper, once than twice. The second had been a little more clear, enough so that he had turned to look. 

An entire new anger began to fester in his mind when he saw the man was grabbing you. Not only was he a sorry excuse of a man, but now he was just pathetic. Ghost watched as you forced your wrist from his grip, making your way to the counter. He fights the urge to stand as the man makes his way from the table to follow you, he knew this wouldn’t end well. 

You pull your wrist from him, turning on your heel you hike your purse up over your shoulder to head to the bar. Making it to the bar you wait for someone to come by, all you wanted was to pay the bill and leave, your heart was pounding in your ears now. A bartender comes by as you hand out your card and tell her what you had ordered. She takes the card and walks over to the machine when you feel a hand on your waist. Jerking your body sideways you see him, with a grin on his face? 

You look to him with more disgust than ever as the bartender makes her way back over to you, handing you your card. You bid her a goodnight as you turn to leave, you feel a sting on your behind. You felt like crying, like screaming at him, like throwing a tantrum as if you were a child. Anger resurfaced that you didn’t know could possess you so strongly, and you stopped in your tracks. Turning on your heel you face him, pure rage surging through your veins, and you slap him hard. He leans over forward with a hand cradling his face while plenty of people turn to look- you didn’t care, you were still processing that you had hit someone. 

You couldn’t muster the words to speak to him and instead turned to again leave, when you heard him move towards you. 

‘you..you BITCH, you think you can hit me!?’ You heard his steps quicken behind you as your heart was pounding so loud in your ears it was as if there was no other noise. You had almost made it to the door when you hear his steps stop. Turning around you see the stranger. The stranger from before, he was in between you two, one of his hands splayed Infront of the others chest. He was still cradling his face as the stranger gripped his shirt into a fist, he looked over his shoulder to talk to you,

‘Go on outside.’ You took no hesitation and instead pushed open the door to the bar and walked away. Any direction would do for now, but you knew you had to go somewhere.

Ghost along with others looked around to see you clearly embarrassed and uncomfortable, when the man finally gave him an excuse to get involved.  He heard most of the interaction before standing to watch, when he intervened. He had a grip on the mans shirt that alone made him stand down. Once he had heard the door chime and knew you were out, he hit the man square in the face, he was unconscious. He moved the man closer to the table where the group still sat, looking to Price he told him,

‘Take care of him for me yeah?’ Before pulling out his wallet and leaving payment for his drink, the rest of the table didn’t speak. Price looked down to the man, and nodded to Ghost before turning to the rest of the group. Ghost turned to leave, stepping over the man, he made his way out into the night, determined to find you. 

[romione-trope-fest]

Title: Enchanted to Meet You? Author: tumblr- Nena-96, Ao3- Nena96 Selected Trope: Muggle AU Brief Summary: The Eras Tour, is not something that Ron imagined ever attending in his life, but his daughter Rose has him wrapped around her little freckled finger and it was a losing battle. Oh, and meeting the most insufferable single mum was also not in his agenda for today. Rating: T Word Count: Any relevant trigger warnings: None

Ron couldn’t believe it, in reality he wished he was still back at his little flat and relaxing. Instead, he’s here walking through the line, while keeping a hold of his precious little redheaded dem- angel, he meant angel. They were moving slowly but at least the line was moving. He's glad they made it away from the news cameras and the annoying reporter, Lavender Brown. She just wouldn’t stop getting into his personal space and accidentally brushing up beside him. The reporter had the audacity to touch the bracelets that he was wearing, and ask him if he would give her one or if she would have to take it off of him herself. To be fair, all day he had women come up to him and use the same line, but something about this reporter just made him uneasy.

That wasn’t even the worst part, when she asked him what song he was looking forward to hearing, Ron had to bite the inside of his cheek when the reporter called him Won-Won, like what the fuck?

His name is Ron, it’s not a difficult name to pronounce, it’s literally just one syllable, and only three letters! Alright, technically his name is Ronald, but only his mum calls him that and his aunt Muriel…but that's besides the point. He absolutely hated when people purposely get his name wrong, it reminds him of when he was in just a ickle little first year at Hogwarts Academy. It would always annoy him how his professors would call him everything but Ronald Weasley.

Thankfully, he managed to escape the reporter when a boy named Colin Creevey came over dressed as a mirrorball and was taking photographs of people in wacky costumes. It was times like these when he enjoyed not being the center of attention, the distraction had helped him tremendously, he managed to not only escape from the clingy reporter but also make it further ahead the line. He never thought that one day he would be saved by a boy in a mirrorball costume but it happened, which was still quite odd.

Shaking his head, he held onto his daughter’s hand and walked forward, the entrance was so close yet it felt miles away. Ron still couldn’t believe how many people were there outside the stadium, he knew that the American singer is fairly popular but he didn’t expect to see a vast amount of fans. Hell, some people even brought their own chairs as they waited in line. He wished to be home but no, he was persuaded into buying tickets which were by far the most expensive purchase he’s made in the last year. Two bloody tickets for a concert had definitely made his pockets cry, let's not even talk about the memorabilia that he pre-ordered. To say he was shocked at the prices was the understatement of the fucking century, he just hopes that this concert is worth all the hype.

Truthfully, he doesn’t believe any artist or sports game is worth the expensive price, not to sound uptight but come on, there’s literally so many other things he could do with the money. Plus, it would be ten times more beneficial than being sentenced to sit through eight plus hours in a crowded stadium while people scream to pop music. Sometimes he wondered if he should put his foot down, and be more assertive. Dammit, he’s just been made head strategist in his department. Yet, there was no strategic plan that could persuade his daughter, Rose, to change her mind. She’s been talking his ear off non-stop about coming to the concert, plus they stayed up all night yesterday making friendship bracelets. It was roughly five hundred bracelets, not ten not fifty it was five fucking hundred little colorful bracelets.

Each one had to be different, because his demon- oops sorry his sweet angel sent from above, the apple of his eyes the joy of his life, had decided each one had to have a unique acronym. Based upon different lyrics and inside jokes, which he didn’t have a clue at all so when he made up a fake acronym, ERISED…well lets just say Rose wanted to know exactly where that came from. Meaning, she told Alexa to play the entire discography of a certain pop star’s collection of music.

It’s safe to say he learned his lesson, how could he forget that his daughter was just as stubborn as he was… alright he still is stubborn but he was never this bad. He sure is going to get a run for his money when his daughter gets older. Oh well, nothing to do now, but live through this agonizing torture that’s called the-

“Oh my fucking God! I can’t believe we’re at the fucking Eras tour!” A group of girls screamed, causing Ron to cover his daughter’s ears.

Damn if that’s how loud people get now he can’t imagine when they step foot into the stadium. Hopefully he can buy some noise canceling headphones not just for Rose, but for him as well.

“Hell yes! Becs, you think she’s going to sing Story of Us?” A girl dressed in…was she wearing a bedsheet and sunglasses? Ron was momentarily confused, how could that even be comfortable to breathe, he glanced down at his daughter and saw her cover her mouth and giggle as if everything was totally normal.

“Shut up, I would fucking throw up if she does sing it!” Ron heard the girl he presumes is named Becs, yell out, which caused him to grimace and shiver at the thought of people actually vomiting. Hell, hopefully he wasn’t going to sit anywhere near them when they got inside the building. He closed his eyes and counted to ten, hoping that he doesn’t become nauseous, he had to remind himself that no matter what he’s doing this because Rose is here. If it wasn’t for his daughter he would be at home watching the game, but that wasn’t the case and he has to stay strong.

“Addy, what about the surprise song?!” Another girl wearing a flashy bejeweled dress asked.

“I would die, if she sings-”

“Dad, I’m so happy we’re here!” he heard his daughter yell in excitement, momentarily pulling him away from the conversation nearby, which caused another round of screams from Swifers near them.

Wait… were they called Swifers or Swifty’s? He muttered to himself.

Ugh, he should know this by now given that his daughter would not stop playing the pop singer’s music every single day. Hell, even all throughout the three hour car ride to the stadium. Even though she had a little cat nap in the car, she had told him before she slept that he couldn’t switch the song because Crookshanks, her plushie, was watching him. Oh, how he hated that plushie, it was a gag gift from his best mate Harry, last year. It was meant to be thrown into the rubbish bin, immediately, but once Rose saw the orange cat she had fallen in love and wanted to keep it.

Ron always had a feeling that the beady eyes of the toy were looking through his soul. He was so close to throwing it out the window while driving, but he didn’t want to be on the receiving end of his daughter’s tantrum- Ron heard someone cough and mutter from behind him, turning around he saw a petite brunette who was doing a really bad job at pretending to read on her phone. Which he noticed wasn’t even turned on, if he wasn’t paying attention he would’ve missed the faint blush on her cheeks.

Shaking his head, Ron crossed his arms, while trying to ignore the annoying sound of the bracelets that he was wearing on both of his arms clink together.

“Excuse me, did you say something?” He asked the woman who was still staring at the black screen of her phone.

The woman looked up and quickly put her phone in her back pocket, “Hmm, I didn’t say anything at all,” she replied smoothly.

He tried not to laugh at the blatant lie she fed him, “Oh, come on, I heard you say something,” Ron tried again, this time he raised a brow and looked into her brown eyes.

“I don’t know what you mean. I never said anything, I was simply looking over my tickets on my phone,” the woman said in a posh manner as she raised her chin slightly upwards. Shaking his head, Ron realized that this woman was not someone who would easily back down, and honestly it was kinda hot.

“Look, let's not do the whole lying thing, I heard you cough and-” he started to say but was interrupted when the brunette began laughing.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I needed permission to cough. My sincerest apologies, Mr….” she trailed off, a glimmer of something shone in her brown eyes, yet Ron didn’t want to think much of it.

“It’s Weasley, but please call me Ron, and you are?” He gestured for her hand and pretended to bow for her to continue.

“It’s Hermione Granger,” she replied before shaking his hand. He tried his best to ignore the surge of electricity that shot through his hand the moment she touched him. He nodded before letting go of her hand, the warmth that he once felt was now long gone.

“It is a pleasure to meet you, Hermione,” he smiled before adding, “Now, since we’ve established our names, and formed a lifelong friendship,” Ron heard snigger before continuing, “could you tell me what you said so I won’t end up tossing and turning at night and unable to sleep. Thus causing me to lose focus at work and perform ever so poorly and end up losing my job and having to move back with my dear old mummy.”

“I highly doubt my comment would cause all of that to transpire,” Hermione shook her head, causing a few curls to come on from her updo and pushing it away from her face.

“Ahh, so you do acknowledge that you made a comment, it's great to know that I'm not losing my mind. Isn’t that right, Rose,” Ron joked as he looked down at his daughter who was too busy staring at the other girls who were taking pictures with their mothers and holding toy guitars. He didn’t need to imagine what she was thinking because he knew all too well the pain she held in her heart.

“Rose,” he tried again and tried gently to bring her attention away from the fans who seemed like they were having the time of their lives. It was moments like these in which he wished he could give his daughter something better than a ticket to a concert, but he knew money couldn’t buy everything.

Ron cleared his throat and reached down for his daughter's shoulder, slowly turning her around, “Rosie, are you alright, love?”

Instead of answering him, Rose had only nodded and gave a small smile, Ron hoped that Hermione didn’t notice the way his daughter’s smile didn't reach her eyes. If she did notice, hopefully she wouldn’t ask about it. He chanced a sideways glance at Hermione, and was grateful that she wasn’t looking at him with pity.

Good, he didn’t want to have the awkward as hell conversation about where the mother of his daughter was at, that was never easy to talk about. Besides, not to be rude or anything but why did that always have to turn into someone’s business? It wasn’t like single parents aren’t capable of pushing through the challenges of parenthood. To be honest, it felt ten times as tough having to raise a child alone, regardless of the fact that Ron had no regrets whatsoever in raising his daughter on his own. So if Hermione decides to voice out the same opinion the rest of the world had towards single parents, well then it was just too damn bad.

He was just about to turn towards the brunette beside him, when suddenly he heard the distant shouting of a boy calling for his mum. The shouting kept getting closer and closer, causing Ron to turn around and see a little boy with brown curls that was running excitedly waving a magazine and a baton wildly in his hand, “Mum, Mum! I got the magazine and they gave me this baton for free!”

Ron smiled before risking a glance at Hermione, who was waving her hands across herself as she pleaded, “Hugo, please don’t run!”

The way she looked so worried was adorable, he noted that she had only one bracelet on the wrist of her left hand, also the fact she wasn’t wearing a wedding band. Ron could faintly see four letters on the multi-colored bracelet, he tried to squint but could only guess it was spen, spem… no wait it's…spew?

Huh, what does spew even mean?

Ron glanced down at both of his forearms and skimmed through the various friendship bracelets that his daughter helped him make, on his left were bracelets that had album names. While the bracelets on his right forearm had inside jokes, like one that consisted of three numbers and letters. Ron remembers asking Rose yesterday what that one acronym meant.

Rose ended up blushing so hard he thought she was going to burst. However, after a few minutes of silence she calmly shrugged her shoulders and said, “Oh, umm, it’s silly…it’s for the song Delicate, it means, 1,2,3 Let’s Go Beautiful.” was aware how nervous she was, it was probably because she thought he didn’t care but he was glad to know, which is why he made a deal with her. If she let him listen to one song of his choosing then he would shout 123lgb, with her when the song came up. The smile on her face was priceless, he loved seeing her happy, plus he got a break from listening to the song Me! Which in his opinion was by fucking far the most annoying song he’s ever heard in his life.

He shook his head and looked at the other bracelets, yet none of them had the word spew. Running a hand through his hair in annoyance he wondered if spew was a lyric from one of the vault tracks that Rose was talking about? Unless it has a hidden meaning, ohh, maybe it's dedicated to one of the pop stars ex-boyfriends. That’s got to be it, yeah he broke the puzzle, dad of the year goes to Ronald Billius Weasley. All the other dads out there might as well just saddle on their little white horse and leave while they can.

But wait, it still didn’t make sense. What the fuck is spew? Was it because they tend to spew nonsense after breaking her heart and she wanted to get her own karma? Since karma is apparently her boyfriend or whatever that line went. But, wait wouldn’t that mean she was the spew and not the guy? Like, come on, isn’t the American singer known for her reputation with her former lovers? So wouldn’t her fans be called the SPEW’s rather than Swifers or Swifty’s, whatever the bloody hell they were called-

“Hugo! Stop, you'll get hurt-” Hermione had shouted beside him, breaking him from his thoughts.

He turned, but it was too late because the next moment Ron let go of his daughter's hand and doubled over in excruciating pain. Yep, he just hit with a baton directly at his mirrorballs. If he wasn’t in such pain he’d write his own version of that song.

“Fucking Hell!”

[johannestevans]

the thing about unfucking a chaotic space is that it's like. do we actually thrive in mess? no, not really. it's not that you HAVE to have utterly clean spaces devoid of clutter, but the more clutter there is, the harder it is to find things when you need them

because once you've looked over everything once, your brain just flattens basically all that information into a static image because it's like "looked for patterns, didn't see any :)" and even though your keys are RIGHT THERE, it already looked, didn't see them sorry :)

so you need to have somewhere where keys live. you want that somewhere to be visible! so a pocket is bad, because you can't see it, and also, which pocket? which coat? what if i change my coat and forget to move my keys, then i'll go out and forget my keys

you can't put them in a drawer because like.

a) they'll be in a drawer, out of sight, and you'll have to remember which drawer

b) because you can't see them on your way out, you'll forget them! you need to be able to see them to know!

okay, so how about a bowl or plate, or a tin, or something like that? now, that bowl could be in the living room or bedroom, but that's bad - if you have to go through other rooms, you might forget about your keys coming in or going out

especially if you're already in a hurry or in a rush (which, let's face it, you often Will Be), like, you absolutely NEED those keys to be next to the door - in the hall or the first room or whatever, because otherwise you'll have to go through the whole house to find them

but. a bowl or a plate? right next to the front door?

you'll put everything in there. letters. junk mail. bits of crap out of your pockets. paperclips, marbles, receipts, candies, loose change. because it's a great place to put things and it's THERE

so imo like. keys as much as possible belong on a hook by the front door, and you get yourself in the habit of as much as possible putting keys on the hook - esp getting it so habitual that if anyone walks past in the house and SEES keys left on the side, they'll put them there

it's great to ALSO have a tin or bowl or smth to also keep all that random crap in, but like. keys want to be separate because they're the most important thing - especially if there's several people w diff keys living in the same house and they want to be separate but together

it might be that you prefer a plate for keys or you do like a pocket or whatever but like. the point of this post isn't the keys themselves, it's the process of getting to keys on a hook.

when you have difficulty maintaining order in your spaces, whether it's because of neurodivergence or exhaustion or depression or whatever else, establishing order and then maintaining it IS A NEW SKILL.

getting containers is just. the start of it.

you can buy 20 boxes to put things in, but what happens if you don't remember to put things in them? what if you don't remember which box goes where, and you keep swapping them around? what happens if you just don't have the muscle memory to do it?

you come home, you focus on the task at hand - you toss the unnecessary stuff aside. you don't need that shopping bag right now, so you drop it on the floor or put it on the arm of the sofa, or you drop it into the nearest box.

and then suddenly, three weeks later, there's fucking shopping bags everywhere, because you keep forgetting to take old ones out with you so you keep getting given new ones, and you don't have a box for them, and they're all over, and it's insurmountable

creating and deciding a dedicated space for x thing is one aspect of it. getting a container for x thing is a step further. but what about trouble shooting that container? what are the problems or flaws with it? what makes that container harder to use, or more inappropriate?

for example, if it's a medium-sized box, where does it live? if it lives up on a high shelf but you need to constantly use it, well, that's terrible. it's never gonna go back up on that shelf, and now it's in the way all the time, which sucks, but it's either here or there

and an outsider might come to your house and go. well. why don't you move this OTHER medium-sized box, which contains paperwork you rarely need, to this high shelf, and put this one, which you regularly use, here right under your bed?

except that a lot of people wouldn't comment on your space like that, because it can feel rude or judgemental, and also, YOU might feel called out or insecure or humiliated by that, and they don't want to make you feel that way

bc the worst is for someone to just come in and go "Oh, it's messy :/" but that's not helpful. you can see the mess, of course you can. but can you see the end and the beginning? can you figure out where to start? how to make it better?

and then, can you troubleshoot the system you've made to fix it? or will you institute a system from scratch, fuck it up a bit, and then panic or get frustrated and give up, maybe even hate yourself a bit, but just live with the mess?

seeing the mess is a skill; seeing how to tidy the mess - how to section it up, how to tidy, how to clean - are separate skills; getting containers to put them away is a skill; getting the RIGHT containers is a skill; letting yourself go "oh, i need smth different" is too

for example, for a lot of people with ADHD like mine, baskets are great. they let you see what you have - unlike a drawer - but they still contain your stuff!

except that i have asthma, and i already struggle to get dusting done - i find it hard to do, and also i FORGET

so baskets? oh, god. for me, it's like, great, i've organised all this stuff and i can see it in one place and it's not on the floor or on surfaces or scattered around the house, and also, it's coated in poison for my allergies and my ailing lungs. lifehack!

i have the same problem with open boxes - for stuff in boxes, what's best for me is boxes with lids, especially clear boxes where i can see most of what's in them from the outside

but yeah it's just. it's letting yourself change it and tweak it. it's letting yourself change and adjust GRADUALLY, and train yourself into new habits, and try as much as you can to keep them, and make it as easy as possible FOR YOU to keep them.

[unexpectedbrickattack]

Ngl I'm kind of dillydallying around my own SDV fixation and i'd KILL to see what your brain is doing to this game like i for one would eat up dat stuff UP . . .

I love the way this is phrased; genuinely 😭💖 like im a force of nature tearing through any new interest like its made of wet tissue paper 💥💥💥

I thought about it some more and i will (eventually) make an sdv blog. Its going to be a mess having all my interests on one dashboard (im lazy and i dont want to sign in and out all the time for diff accounts lol) but i need sdv stuff in sight or ill explode. For now tho i will ramble about random hcs rattling around in my brain

- The valley is FULL of magic, but not alot of Magical Beings that utilize that magic. If the residents of pelican town knew more about magic, there would be alot more wizards than just. The Wizard.

- Everyone in pelican town has some kind of latent magic, or at the very least, an affinity or sensitivity to magic. I like to think that magic builds in very secluded corners of their world and the area including (and surrounding) pelican town is simply one of those places.

-(sorry, i am just obsessed with Places and Magic) I like the idea of your farmer being drawn to pelican town bc they have a bit of magic in them. The letter is just A Letter, but it is the desire to see this town that makes them leave their old life behind. I am obsessed w the idea that the magic in the farmer craves the valley bc it sees the valley as its home, and by extension, the farmer sees the valley as their home. The people of pelican town rarely leave bc the magic in them sees the valley as their home always. The biggest examples of this are Kent, Demetrius, Evelyn, Emily and Shane. The huge exceptions to this (still workin on it) are lewis and sebastian; lewis bc i see him as a normal, non-magical being trying to wrangle the weirdness of this town, and sebastian bc his feelings of isolation and not being understood propels him to crave the world outside of the valley. (That changes a bit if u befriend him/romance him)

-(shane is weird bc hes super depressed and lonely but his happiness comes from his new ‘ragtag family’ (his words) and his very Not Normal chickens. The animals of the valley love him bc he loves them and he becomes tied to the valley bc of it. Marnie has always loved the animals of the valley and some of the love they had for her definitely rubbed off onto shane, who very openly admits he loves the chickens 💙)

-I wasnt very fond of the idea of purple=magic but i think that was bc i often saw it as a way to tie-in the wizard and abigail. I am still trying to get through the friendships for everyone but rn it doesnt feel like theres any connection between them (and caroline). But. I do like the idea of odd, unnatural colors coming through bc of magic. Alex and Pierre having normal brown hair; Haley and Sam being true blondes. BUT. Shane and Jas having purple-ish hair. Emily and Caroline have blue toned hair. Even vincent have pinkish hair 🥺💖 (and dare i say….sebastian with purple/black hair like shane 👀…maybe he has more magic in him than hed like to believe). Abigail doesnt count bc from what ive seen, Caroline laments about her daughters dyed hair. “When she was younger it used to be chestnut brown” which…awww she took after her dad lol.

- LAST THING. This is not an hc i am just mad about this. I cannot believe the game doesnt allow u to befriend Marlon. What the fuck. What the fuck !!! I love him!!! I want to be friends w the chill monster slayer! Im a monster slayer too!!! Let me give him gifts !!! Fuck ! 😭😭😭💥💥💥💥 Also. I know how to write old man yaoi. They shouldve let me do a romance path for willy, clint and marlon. And the wizard i guess but someone already did that. Linus doesnt count bc hes ascended the need for human romance; hes one w nature (read. aroace). And we (linus and willy and the farmer) already co-raise leo so that counts for something i think 🤔

[narancias-headband]

A big announcement...

Hi everyone! Very long time, no see.

I've gone through and cleaned things up around here a good bit, deleting old posts and fixing up my masterlist again. You might have seen some posts as I fix things up around here.

But the short and sweet version of this post is...

I'm coming back to this blog!!

It's going to be a decent bit different than before, but I do want to write and share my thoughts with you all again. :)

An important note! I will no longer taking 'requests', but I'd love some inspiration from everyone! I'm not going to hold myself to write anything that doesn't seem right for me. Feel free to send in requests/ideas for inspiration, and please do not be offended if I never get to them! I promise, I'm not judging! Some brief rules on what to ask for are here in my pinned post (they're mostly the same as before haha).

A very LONG rambling update under the cut for anyone wondering what in the world I've been up to.

So... A lot has changed in the past few years here... It's been like a year since y'all have heard from me... Mainly, my hyperfixation on JoJo's went away for a while. So that's my brain's fault haha. I've done this a few times with a few blogs, so I guess I was expecting to drop it sooner or later. What I didn't expect was how much I miss this blog (believe me, I have no regrets on my old blog deaths).

I've been watching JoJo's with a dear friend of mine lately, and the need to write has been stirring again. And then we hit Part 5... My brain was shifted back into fanfic mode instantly. I saw Formaggio and remembered my dear husband. I went and read through so much of my old stuff and remembered how much fun I used to have writing. I'm already working on a few new things, and a few old things, but I'm in no rush.

Which relates to some of the changes I'm hoping to make here. In all honesty, I did a lot here for the attention of people and the approval of the fandom. And that is not sustainable! No wonder I had writing burnout so much... I'm not planning to take as many requests anymore, and I will be much more focused on creating things that make me happy than anything else. Hopefully others enjoy it anyway :)

So... What have I been up to? My life has been taking lots of unexpected twists and turns. My, not entirely intentional, unemployment has opened up some free time to get back to things I enjoy. And I will never let a job take over my life like that again. Good news is, I'm working on my mental health and I finally feel creative again! I want to write and draw and think and I actually have the energy for it!

I've been very lost in the awful job market lately, and being at home alone all day isn't the most thrilling, but even just the minor things I've been doing behind the scenes on this blog have made me feel great. It's a bit more fulfilling than just playing Fortnite all day 😅

And me? I've grown up a lot lately. Working through mental issues, focusing on myself and my happiness, making changes for the better. Which is the main reason I really want to come back! This blog made me so happy and that's my main goal lately. I'm back into JJBA hardcore, I've become a Fortnite kid, and my love of Pokémon has come back in full force. And I have a new pretty gaming PC to sit and write at and the more I use it the more it's worth the $1500 I spent on it.

Oh, and one last thing... For better or worse, I've pretty much ended up a functional stoner. 😅 Probably expect more headcanons about getting high with diff characters that will be way better than the goofy ones I wrote way back when.

[ankoffin]

For the rook questions if they're still open.... relationship w family members

they are always open, tysm for the lovely question!

99.9% of everything written below is my own headcanon!!! for anyone curious to my rook fam names & designs can be found here so what's written below would make more sense!

starting off strong with his parents! I think he generally has similar closeness to them, i like to think as a kid he'd love sneaking in their bed at night and cuddle up to them! I think Otto is kinda like most of his kids they start off life with difficulties expressing themselves but learn to do it in their own way even if it doesn't conform to society! (autism runs strong in the hunt blood) Rook also had that as we know so Otto paid tons of attention to stuff he did find joy in so he could support that (it happens to be Neige) and Rook is very thankful for his parents always supporting him! Rook feels his family are people who understand him fully without a need to tell anything and he wishes to find someone in his life outside them who can understand him like they do (..vil haha) His parents let him (and rest of the kids) find themselves naturally too but it sometimes has its downfall as it allowed rook to not pay much care to himself always and believing he can't participate in being pretty because of his looks but as we know Vil turns it around!

Now to the older twins! Rook doesn't see them often anymore but he loves both of them dearly, I think he gets to act mischievously together with Queen as both of them like being little mind-game talkers at times. Queen likes to challenge Rooks mind and what be believes, not because they actually want to change his way of thinking, but to discuss #deep stuff about life. King is more of a tone-deaf person so Rook talks to him much simply too, i think in summers when everyone gathers they like to play rough in the backyard of the house, wrestle each other with love, they both come back mud in hair and all dirty

Now to his younger brother Bishop! I think Bishop is the complete opposite of Rook so how they look at things warry tons but they get along very well. They kinda cancel each other out by rooks good vibes making bishops judgmental ones seem more normal and other way around too! Unlike with Queen, they actually enjoy debating their mindsets which often resolves in "agree to disagree" but they find joy in mentally challenging each other.

Next younger sister after Bisshop is Knight! Shes a very observant girl and really looks up to Rook and started to get her hair straight like his. She mostly observes Rook and how he acts as she loves his positive mind, Rook is very cuddly and sweet to her as she is his little tiny sister!

NOW youngest sibling Pawn! Rook obviously loves them but bros just a baby :p cant do much but he is more then happy to play with them and babysit if needed (if hes home that is lol)

Overall i think all the Hunts love each other and want the best for each other! I have actually tons of ideas on his parents but thats a whole diff thing ><

[longeyelashedtragedy]

2023 post

i'm struggling through this with a kind of broken keyboard (sticky M U J keys) so bear with me!

because the last month of this year has been such a fucking nightmare (that i'll be working to remove myself from come tuesday) i realized that the good things that happened this year kind of escaped me.

cause--this year was good, in ways that as always with my life cannot be seen by the outside world. it was a messy year but some things changed that i still haven't fully made sense of.

-this year i met so many cool people on here, or got closer to some other people who i'd known before. if "meeting cool people on tumblr" was a skill you could put on your resume, i would definitely feel qualified to put it on my resume, but this year i feel like i just got acquainted with a really high quality group of people (all who support different teams, too!) and that's been so much fun and rewarding as well. i always feel a bit guarded telling people that i care about them but...i do. a lot!

-this june i went on a #YOLO trip to the netherlands that i could not afford but even now when i see my charming credit card debt i have to say i have No Regerts. i got to meet two of these tumblr friends who i've been close to for long enough that they've transcended "internet friend" for me and feel like Friends I've Known a Long Time. we had such a comfortable and fun time travelling together, to a place i've wanted to visit since i was young, and the benefit of meeting Tumblr Friends in real life is that you can make sure everyone's brain needs are taken care of! together we went to see italy beat NL (feat. virg van d slur in the flesh) in the stadium and then watched croatia lose to spain in the basement of a sports bar in utrecht and they got to see that it's 100% true that i cry during the croatian national anthem before the game 😂 i got to do so many bucket list things--visit the rijksmuseum, go solo to delft and see all the vermeer places and settings of my favorite book, girl with a pearl earring (and accidentally wander into a government building looking for a church, whoops), and see the girl with a pearl earring herself for the second time, but this time at her home in the mauritshuis. also i took a lot of fun trains and like every time i go from american Big Corn Syrup and Weird Additives food to europe, everything i ate was good as fuck. and i slept in a pod for two nights! i have the opposite of claustrophobia (claustro...philia? lol) so that slapped. so great, and getting to meet up with friends who live on the other side of an ocean is so fucking special.

-LAMPARDVERSE! nuff said, but it's been an absolute blast getting to co-create it and research all the lore. this is just the beginning, long may it live!!! also thanks to you all for putting up with me blasting a white english chelsea man on your dashes. it will happen again.

-irl stuff...the most unexpected. this year i was able to comfortably become friendly with people who are quite different from me. i was confident in the parts of my personality that are Different--i had fun owning it, and i saw that people really like that person. the craziest thing was that a huge obstacle in my path was that cptsd causes me to feel physically uncomfortable around people, even people i like, aside from emotional discomfort, but the thing is when your body is getting physical danger signals they're extremely difficult to "ignore" (for a reason!) or put aside to focus on the mental stuff.

this year i just went for it--went through months of extremely draining and uncomfortable "exposure therapy" by way of forcing myself to try to stay present in conversations with people i knew i liked, even if the conversations/their presence freaked me out and drained me. (i'm not some magical uwu inspiration/good luck miracle, for anyone who might be in this situation and feel envious--i've been in intense therapy since 2013, do a lot of my own mental work in between, and take two different medications. it took me 10 years to get there! i say this cause there is no shame in the hard work.) importantly, with the people i felt i trusted enough and whose opinion of me i valued enough for them to know the truth, i just told them what was going on with me. not in any graphic detail or TMI, but i told them one of the things that has a big impact on how i present to the outside world (i suffer from trauma), what this trauma suffering looks like to the outsider (sometimes i stop talking altogether in a conversation, and not just that, but i zone out so hard that it looks like i'm not even paying attention, even though sometimes i still am), and what it means about how i feel about them/how they should take it (it means nothing at all, so please please don't take it personally)

they took this level of openness and honesty very well, and i found that telling them these limitations of mine helped to set me free. not living with the lifetime fear of being "found out," not having to worry while i was having a Trauma Moment that people were thinking badly of me and that it was severely impacting my socialization--all of this suddenly helped me start staying in the present while talking to people and while people were talking to me. and not just stay in the present but--ENJOY it. get something out of it. and, to show my work-friends that even though i have a lot of things not in common with them--that that's cool, and we still have plenty of things we do have in common

the kindness people have shown me this year after Seeing Me and getting to know me was unreal. i don't know how to process it. (this applies to you guys on tumblr too!). so many things have happened this fall and so many things were said to me that i never, ever, EVER thought i would be able to experience. i hope this lasts and i hope i can build on this in the new year.

so yeah...this year was...something alright. i'm always an even age in an even year and the evens are never as good for me as the odds (other than like, age 14. that was a good time.) but let's hope for the best.

now, i hate new year's eve/day, so let's get this shit over with!

[roseamongroses]

fantasy! shuriri ideas? (mostly using movie characterizations since i havent had the chance to brush up on lore bc finahells )

riri learning being a self taught blacksmith and creating her own armour after being rejected from magic/knight training '

but in doing so unlocks magic that was long since thought to be locked away so everyone and their mama is goin after her cause how did u do that???

coincidentally enough a traveling princess from a far nation encounters them and decides to join their travels as a way to better understand themselves and their place in the world after the death of their loved ones

shuri doesn't believe in magic or at least doesn't believe in doing it the traditional way. so she becomes obsessed with learning more about riri's invention and finding other ways to progress magic/technology combos

in the process she does build a better appreciation for her cultures traditions but she's stubborn and wont admit to that right away

side plot where okoye and the rest are trying to find shuri cause they love and miss her and also someone is def trying to kill her. ( but shuri always casually ends up getting around it bc of hijinks and her loved ones interfering in the background)

everything is modern but in a ella enchanted type way instead of 100% traditional fantasy but there is def beef between the traditionals and the hightechs

the big bad ends up forcing shuri to ultimately take on the black panther mantle but the aftermath isnt all roses and sunshine since it does change her physically, mentally, and spiritually. funnily enough leaving her more suceptible to big bads influence

perhaps that would cause conflict between the two??? shuri had been ignoring her grief up until this point, but now she CANT and its causing her to spiral. riri herself is going thru shit too since shes still fighting to be seen and the person who was there for it all is treating her differently (plus its bringing up her own issues regarding loss)

shuri sees herself as fundamentally Different now and stubborn girl doesnt realize that relationships can change and still hold love

maybe riri goes off to handle something by herself/ prove herself and ends up getting caught up in namors mess (hes not the big bad hes just a menace tbh)

so when shuri finally wakes up from her fog and realizes riri's gone she resolves to fix it and goes off as well. she has some back and forths with namor and sees herself, her rage and everything. but at the end of the story/ fight she realizes that ye they share anger, but they also share love. and the people they love? need their help and she wont give up on them after everything

meanwhile with riri in the prisons: she's got beef with everyone at first but over time they start coming to her to fix little stuff here and there. she eventually starts innovating for her captors (namor dont know yet) and comes across a breakthrough that rlly helps the people there. all of which reminds her of her own worth and why she does what she does

namor doesnt rlly apologize for the kidnapping/almost murder thing but he does let them go and allows for future diplomatic trips (hes jelly cause the kids rlly like their new aunties and their cool magic suits)

(btw their magic system is diff then the others and is just as complex. the innovation comes from combining knowledge and is more mutual then one sided)

still haven't decided if mommy panther is alive yet but if she they get the sappiest scene once shuri finally does go back home to visit

ill write more ideas later cause i rlly do need to do research

[tiptapricot]

4, 12 and 20 for Moses!

OHHHFGG these r rlly good ones o boy…

4. Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

Moses has witnessed a lot that’s changed him, so I’ll give some snapshots from diff points in life, though I can not go fully in depth bc it. Would end up being way too long.

After being sent away by his mother to survive outside of the life she was able to give him, he returned to find his childhood home was now owned by another family. Which he should’ve expected, but something about realizing there was no Thing to return to, no people and no place, really changed his view on nostalgia and connection and in a lot of ways made him feel even more bitter about memories he’d kept as comforting ones, because if there was no way to revisit that feeling concretely, what was the point? He doesn’t talk about his childhood or his early life anyone. Some things may have ended up in songs in an abstract sense but he refuses to talk about it solidly, even if things still cling to him.

Seeing Antez and Romero for the first time, seeing Antez break into something otherworldly and perhaps even eat someone was a profound moment of fear and belonging and revelation for him. It solidified who they were to him, what they were, and gave this sick release of any need to hide or to quell violent urges that alienated him from others. They know that, not because he’s talked about it but because his awe is palpable and they can tell he enjoys their physicality a lot.

Further in the future, Moses meets another trans man solidly, truly, and it causes such a profound and complicated explosion of worldview that he makes some very very bad choices and is unable to regulate his feelings. Everyone knows about this, because it causes a disaster.

12. In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

The night he performed his own top surgery was frantic and emotional and intense, a buzzing desperate thing that needed to happen. But the morning after… even aching and healing and bandaged and tired and nauseous… the relief was so potent. And it was also probably from blood loss, but he was so tired and calm and happy… He gets smaller moments still. His brain is fast and paranoid but he finds lulls while working on writing music, or sitting on Antez and Romero’s porch, or feeling the touring carriage jostle around him when his thoughts just smooth and quiet, and he gets to be.

20. In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation or self-criticism?

Moses is constantly comparing for both reasons. He’s comparing himself to men around him, critical of his own performance of gender and whether or not people can tell he isn’t the “right” kind of man or not, and this often falls into self-criticism and hate. But he also compares himself to other singers and performers, to critics and people who have reached success with a vitriolic kind of tearing down that boosts his ego and makes him extremely confidant in himself. He often swings between extremes, and is constantly aware of himself and those around him and the state of his own performance of personhood.

I think one of the best moments of self reflection and comparison has come from his connection with Romero, of getting to find intimacy with someone else who doesn’t show skin and who has a feeling of separation from others. That ends up funky in some ways as it furthers Moses’s sense of humanity from himself, but it’s not inherently toxic, and gives him a similar-ish experience for awhile that makes him feel less alone, and even desired for his state of self.

Send me a character developing OC ask!

[cody-apexart]

Day 10

So i talked to my therapist and another Vietnamese person at the cultural meet up a couple days ago about the abortion horror movie-- they havn't seen it, but it sounds like its less about the topic of abortion and more about the Vietnamese culture and different religious view points around death, killing things, and karma. interesting ! anyway, I cried in therapy and then bought myself some yanyans and soju on the walk home. so fun to get a lil treat! like i felt good when i left, did some good thought exercises, or visualization therapy, whatever you wanna call it, but as i walked through the privately owned waterfront development that I had watched the sunset in the night before, back across the bridge to my side of the canal I was rly like 'holy shit fuck this world.' In NY i work in the building associated with Domino Park in Williamsburg, part of my salary is funded directly by the developers. This is a job I wouldn't be able to have in my own neighborhood, because if i was taking payment from the developers causing displacement in my own neighborhood, i think a lot of the people i advocate and organize with would stop fucking with me or taking me seriously. I feel pretty bad about it, like why is it okay I work a job in Williamsburg, where i dont live, that I would never work in my hometown of Flushing? That is to say that making me go to therapy in the private waterfront mega development is like a cruel joke. like, the first thing i clocked when I came here was these six huge towers on the other side of the canal, and now u send me to cry about my feelings there?? maybe i'm a little too sensitive to the impacts of luxury waterfront development, because as you may be able to tell, advocacy around displacement and waterfront development actually consumes all my free time. also btw, the therapist confirmed the waterfront access is privately owned, as I assumed. Every time i cross over the canal it takes all my energy to not climb down this ladder under the bridge. I need to keep reminding myself i am a stranger in a strange land and should probs not trespass. but if i were in my own neighborhood, i wouldn't think twice.

the motorbike food tour tonight was fun. in my art practice i give a lot of tours, but always forget i'm a tour guide, until i tell someone about what I do and they're like "so you're a tour guide?" Me and my student tour guide vibed about the pains of touring people around. it was a fun experience, and funny to see how him and his other tour guide co-workers kinda just circle around each other with diff tourists throughout the evening-- all the tours start at the same time and go to the same places. he said they go to the same places every night, he's been eating the same food with tourist 3-4 times a week every week for 3 months since hes had this job. if i were a local i would probably find this method of touring incredibly annoying. He took me to the Thích Quảng Đức statue commemorating the monk that burned alive in the street advocating for religious freedom. He noted that the photos of the event that were distributed globally in the 1960's edit out the gas canister because it makes it look more profound and like he acted alone. You can see the bad 1960's photoshop blur in the left side of the image under the car tier. super interesting note on propaganda. Im glad I didn't come here without a guide, i would not have known that. I asked if this act of protest was effective, and if it worked to get what the Buddhist community wanted-- he said it got global eyes on the issue due to the distribution of the images. I mentioned to him that an american guy burned himself alive on the supreme court steps because of climate change last year, he was very surprised that there was basically no media coverage of that and he had not heard about it.

The tour groups kept circling around one another when we arrived at a public housing complex. we were basically walking through the projects taking photos, like honestly not a nice thing to be making a spectacle out of the people living in public housing projects. all these tour groups climbed 2-3 flights of stairs and walk around these peoples front doors, it happens every night. super obnoxious tbh. perhaps regrettably, I couldn't help but snap some pics, the lanterns were still up from the tet holiday, and the lighting was just right. These types of developments are what the book im reading is about, titled "building socialism: the afterlife of east german architecture in urban vietnam". I shared a photo of the cover before, these buildings look almost identical.

He pointed out the water tower and then we left.