#and then surprise bitch
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Called the dentist to inform them I’m sick. The receptionist was very nice and told me not to feel bad about it and to feel better thank god
#my grandma isn’t even upset#she’s like I’m fine and I plan to stay that way lemme pay for your food#my mom is the most bothered#and the way she’s been the whole time had be really worried everyone would be mad at me like I did this on purpose or something#it’s just so weird cause I feel like I was talking shit about the edible you know#like I finally finally stopped thinking about it all the time#and then surprise bitch#at least I felt a twinge hungry today
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Percy and Vex'ahlia in The Legend of Vox Machina 3x03 "Vexations"
#tlovm#tlovm spoilers#cr#c1 spoilers#critical role#the legend of vox machina#critteredit#criticalroleedit#tlovmedit#mine#*my gifs#*my tlovm#*my critical role gifs#perc'ahlia#percy x vex#vex x percy#this episode was so good#the whole set was#they just kept getting better#i was not expecting this and it took me by total surprise#but this is one of my favourite scenes!!#it was a bit of a bitch to colour but alas
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Hi my name is Don Quixote of La Mancha the Knight of the Rueful Figure and I have a rueful figure (that's how I got my name) with purple bruised ribs and tall stature and gaunt features and hair turning gray and a rather hooked aquiline nose and large black drooping mustaches and a lot of people tell me I look like Amadís of Gaul (AN: if u don’t know who he is begone!). I’m not related to Lady Oriana but I wish I was because she’s an incomparable flowering beauty. I’m a knight errant but some of my teeth and grinders are missing. I have long lank limbs. I’m also a defender of damsels, protector of orphans, succourer of the needy, righter of wrongs, undoer of injustice, and I wander a magic countryside called the mountains of Spain where I’m in my first year of knighthood (I’m forty-nine). I’m a gentleman (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly armor. I love my great-grandfather's forgotten corner of the house and I cobble together all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a doublet of fine cloth with matching shoes and velvet breeches and a helmet, morion, visor, breastplate and backpiece. I was riding outside La Mancha. It was early morning so the rays of the sun fell obliquely and the heat did not distress me, which I was very happy about. A lot of giants stared at me. I put up my pasteboard visor at them.
#surprise bitch#I bet you thought you'd seen the last of me#thinking of bringing this account back#think 2024 needs it#PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!#not a sonnet#don quixote#miguel de cervantes#literature#my immortal#fanfic#five good revoiws and i sonnet the original my immortal intro#ten good reieuoiws and I keep writing this nonsense?#tara gilesbie#world literature#books#throwback#fanfiction#poetry?#knight#chivalry#knightposting#knightcore#armor#17th century#slay#ladies#historical#medieval#unholy
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I refuse to change my headcanon that most of the other people at Canaan House probably thought Gideon was Harrow’s pretty boy toy until she showed them she could actually fight because she acted exactly nothing like a real Cav in anyway. A teenage ruler shows up with a hot butch that clearly isn’t trained to be a ninth Cav or even a normal-ish one? Come on. They probably thought griddlehark were over compensating trying to hide by staying away from each other. 
#the locked tomb#gideon nav#harrow nonagesimus#griddlehark#jokes on them#Harrow pretty much DID bring Gideon as a pretty boy toy#because she clearly barely understands just how good Gideon is with swords#like she openly admits that she’s surprised that Gideon is that good when they fight the bone monster thing#bitch why did you bring her then if you didn’t actually know she was one of the best swordswoman ever ?????#oh because you wanted her with you. gay bitch.
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"stop making akechi pancake jokes its 2024" no fuck you
#horrible news i'm obsessed with him#raise your hand if youre actually surprised#i see an egotistical smartass brunette twink with daddy issues whos doomed by the narrative and i latch on like a motherless duckling#bro i deadass forgot how to draw it took me so long to figure out how to do this mfs hair 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️#gayass motherfucker detective bitch i hate him so much#persona 5#p5#persona 5 royal#p5r#goro akechi#lotus draws#i better not see anybody call him dazai in the comments again or im gonna gut you like a fish#its happened on three separate posts GIVE UP
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rook falling asleep on the red couch in the lighthouse dining room while lucanis is making dinner....... they were helping out by keeping him company and peeling and chopping potatoes for a while there but then the potatoes are done and the room is so safe and warm and smells like coffee and good food and lucanis is trying to explain something to spite and his voice is low and soft and good to listen to and rook's eyes only slip closed for a moment. they'll get up to save the world again or whatever in a second just. one moment. while the world is warm and kind. and then they're being shaken gently awake an hour later because it's time to eat and everyone's starting to drift hopefully dinner-wards
#lucanis looking down at peacefully sleeping rook like '...I *have* to figure out more things I can do for them than kill or die#because that's a bit limited long-term and one of those will probably mostly make them really upset. (also you only get to do it once.#just not good value for the price as gestures of love go.)#but maker I WILL also do that' as he drapes a blanket over them. and maybe strokes their hair. don't look at me#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#do you guys ever yearn. are you filled with unspeakable longing. are you ever brought to your knees humbled and wrecked#before the altar of the mortifying simplicity and lack of grandeur of your own impossible desires. anyway#at one point rye is going to tell this man in a sort of bewilderment of joy and relief 'you make me feel so safe'#and he'll have to go 'you may be surprised to hear that that is not a sentiment a man in my profession gets to hear a lot usually'#'well get used to hearing it (bitch)(infinitely affectionate)'#and then they hug or something idk don't speak to me do not look at me
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HYUNJIN 🧸🤍 240806 INSTA LIVE
#hyunjin#skz#stray kids#bystay#staydaily#surprise bitch you thought you’d seen the last of me when i posted my other set#well im making a comeback like a phoenix rising from the ashes#gifs#my soft serve ice cream u make me scream… 😞
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#all in the hips
#red white and royal blue#alex claremont diaz#henry hanover stuart fox#henry fox mountchristen windsor#taylor zakhar perez#nicholas galitzine#rwrb#rwrb movie#rwrbsource#rwrbedit#surprise bitch i bet you thought etc etc#look#i'm having a time#take this#maybe something else later who knows#why do i do this to myself it's so late#goodbye
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It's been months since the Riddler has one upped the Batman. Thousands of crumpled pieces of paper overflowed his recycling bin near his desk of sub par riddles and imperfect plans. Edward snapped the pencil in his hand with an angry jerk of the hand and let out an angry yell. Nothing is good enough to be used to beat the Bat! Edward slumped in his chair, grumbling nonsensical curses and half parsed riddles when something caught his eye.
Near his desk he always had at least 4 tv's that randomly switched through local news channels from around the world. Both as something to look at to clear his mind and to help spur ideas.
His attention was caught by the bottom left screen showing a very distressed man in a wannabe Conan O'Brian haircut talking about reports of an "Invis-o-Bill" sighting near a local school.
Edward checked the location on his computer which was running the code that randomized the news channels. This one hailed from Amity Park, Illinois.
---
It was quick work figuring out Invis-o-Bill's identity, a boy named Daniel "Danny" Fenton. The boy's self titled moniker "Phantom" made Edward have a fit of crazed giggles, it was like the boy wasn't even trying to hide his identity!
Edward got to thinking... A boy who's both dead and alive at the same time. The plan of a Schrodinger's boy in a Schrödinger's box was slowly being molded in his mind. It's perfect.
Edward grabs a new piece of paper and starts writing frantically. He needs to set everything up but in the meantime, he needs to call up some of his goons to capture Daniel Fenton.
#He has an entire elaborate trap where the whole catch is figuring out if the person inside the box is alive or dead. surprise bitch its both#dpxdc#danny phantom#dc comics#dp x dc#bones prompts
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We thought it would never happen…We were wrong.
#memes#Pokémon#pokemon presents#pokemon day#pokemon legends zygarde#pokemon legends z#Pokémon z#pokemon legends#surprise bitch
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#suicune#muncher#though i guess they're more surprised than anything else#i remember this bitch for showing up when celebi fuckin dies in pokémon 4ever and cleaning up the water#and then ash is like ok i am going to use this clean water to fix celebi#and it doesn't work and suicune is like bro idk what the hell i thought that would work#also obligatory colosseum mt battle mention. let's go#if you haven't already heard the mt battle rest area OST‚ you should now#as a treat. to your ears
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I need to see Steve at his breaking point, kneeling in absolute defeat. Whimpering, crying, sobbing with a sword under his chin forcing him to look up that man who is now nothing but a stranger.
But, once he was a familiar and friendly face around the castle. Often running around with the outcasts and playing music in the town square. Telling stories of great heroic adventurers to the children that flocked around him to listen. A tall but scrawny thing with a mouth that knew not when to bite its tongue.
Steven makes a pathetic image for a prince. His skin is stained with tears, grime, and blood. Blood from his knights. Brothers in arms that he’d known since he was a mere child.
He’s nothing now, has nothing.
A fallen prince awaiting death.
Edward has his dark tresses tied at the nape of his neck. His eyes are dark as night, focused and fierce in his gaze. His chest heaves and exhaustion is evident, but he stands proud.
Vengeful.
Such a far cry from the once cowardly and impish man that Steven had known him to be.
Even with the sting of betrayal, the broken bond among him and children, adolescents now, that he had come to care for… he understands why someone would follow him.
He has the stance of a leader and the final unwavering judgement of a king.
Humilated, he thinks of his people, the children (his children), and even the servants that had joined the revolt against the crown. He wishes them a better life, a kinder one than he and his parents had given them under their family rule.
Steven trusts… he trusts in his people’s judgment, despite it all, and their faith in their soon-to-be King Edward.
Accepting the fate of their decision, his cries quiet but he makes no move to wipe the mess he’s made of himself.
Steve raises his chin just a bit higher and tries to steady his breath. Leans his head against the sword that’s at the side of his neck now, a swing away from finality, and looks up at the people’s king.
“Whatever kind of king you choose to be,” his mouth is parched and heavy with the taste of ash, “be a loving one.”
His closes his eyes, and waits.
“Then, my first act as King will be that of good faith to the people. Prince Steven… I show you mercy.”
#eddie: man I always wanted to say this TO THE DUNGEON 🫵#yes the kids betrayed him#but politics is a bitch#and the king and queen needed to die#their rule was just that insufferable and corrupt#and steve may not have been at that level but revolution is violent#it’s a long road to mending their bond again but they have time#and a surprising shorter one to steve and eddie endgame#bee speaks#fallen prince steve#steddie fanfic#steddie#steddie drabble#king eddie munson#steddie prompt#steddie headcanon#steddie ficlet
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Moon 21: Are You Lonesome Tonight?
PREVIOUS l NEXT
#warrior cats#clangen#clangen warrior cats#warriors oc#wc#wc oc#jcmoons#surprise she lived bitch#you will never see Elisha until he is introduced to the clan#until then it’s just a guy
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Thinking about marriage/women's rights on Vulcan Some may think that T'Pring not being allowed to divorce Spock was because he was going through the pon farr but if she were allowed to divorce him at all she probably would have done that a long time ago, confirmed by T'Pol when she's speaking with Koss, who isn't suffering from the pon farr. She says that he can choose another mate (without invoking a fight it seems: note the difference between a 'mate' and a 'challenger') and after he makes it clear that nothing she says will change his mind about marrying her, she finally threatens to declare a kal-if-fee. It's clear that Vulcan women cannot divorce/refuse to marry a man they've been betrothed to under any circumstances if A) He himself doesn't consent to ending their marriage or B) She doesn't have someone else waiting in the wings to be given to in his stead. Though, if the challenger she selects fails to win the fight, she'll have to marry her betrothed anyway unless (again) he decides he doesn't want her after the challenge. That seems like an incredibly unfair system, heavily biased towards men. SNW is an alternate universe in many obvious respects but most egregiously in that T'Pring has a lot of non-canonical agency over her relationship with Spock. It's interesting to me that Vulcan society has women in many positions of power and treats women as equal to men from what I've seen despite these laws. We don't really see Vulcans exhibiting a misogynistic attitude towards women in general but in TOS (perhaps because of its general writing style but it's still interesting to note) both Sarek and Spock take on patriarchal attitudes specifically regarding wives. Amanda says that 'of course' Sarek commands her because "he is a Vulcan and I am his wife." It's worthwhile in my eyes to note that she specifies 'wife' instead of attributing this attitude to women as a whole. Again, with TOS' writing style it wouldn't be out of place for her to say "he is a man and I am a woman." Spock, while in a pon farr induced irritation, states that it's "undignified for a woman to play servant to a man that isn't hers" - again implying that there's something specific about being a Wife in Vulcan society which is different from being a woman in general and demands subservience to a husband. This could perhaps stem from the extreme sense of ownership that Vulcan law has permitted men to have over women. A woman legally cannot point blank refuse marriage. There is no option which guarantees she won't have to marry her betrothed other than death. When T'Pau speaks of T'Pring she refers to her as being 'property' and Stonn, before being interrupted, states he's made 'the ancient claim' - we don't know what this is because he gets cut off but it's obvious they're both using the language of Vulcan law. Men are permitted true freedom to choose. If a woman wants to choose someone else to be with there is no option available to her other than the kal-if-fee which might result in the death of the one she wants to be with. And, if her lover fails, her husband can still just decide he wants to marry her and she'll be forced to. T'Pring gives two scenarios: One where Spock 'frees' her and one where he doesn't - it's still ultimately his decision which is clear when he ends the conversation with "Stonn, she is yours." This again isn't just because of the pon farr as T'Pol also goes through this. Koss can choose another mate and when the option is talked about there's no implication that this would result in any sort of fight (both by the casualness of its mention and by the fact that there's no formal word for it unlike the kal-if-fee.) Also, the fact that Koss does eventually grant T'Pol a divorce and it's all fine means that T'Pol isn't lawfully required to have another man waiting if her HUSBAND doesn't want her. It's ONLY required if SHE doesn't want her husband. Tradition must take precedence over individual desire UNLESS!!! You're a man. Then it's fine. Like, your parents might not be happy but legally you're golden.
#as a note do NOT read the comments on any T'Pol marriage clips on youtube they're full of 'haha women amiright' jokes about#how she's leading Trip on and being a bitch for not choosing him etc - if you become interested in female characters you learn#quickly just how much people still hate women displaying any amount of complexity/doing anything that isn't just falling into a man's arms#even if that hatred doesn't take the form of outright vitriol (aka: 'I feel so sad for Trip bc T'Pol's marrying some other guy')#Trip: T'Pol listen this arranged marriage stuff is no good - you've gotta be free! You have to do what YOU want to do!#T'Pol: -legally seen as property of her husband in the eyes of the law- ...............#<- not dunking on Trip it's just funny how easy it makes it seem - but!! He doesn't know all the facts#as evidenced by him saying T'Pol might 'call off the wedding' to her mother - T'Pol can't legally call off shit#It's also interesting how gender isn't really mentioned in any of the clips I've seen - it's very clear to me that T'Pol has no options#specifically because she's a WOMAN within her culture but that's almost like a quiet undercurrent and not focused on as a main#point of dissatisfaction - which I imagine it 1000% would be for Vulcan women when men have infinitely more freedom#Vulcan Man: I don't wanna marry this lady#Vulcan Law: Ok#Vulcan Woman: I don't wanna marry this guy#Vulcan Law: Noted. So - if you and your lover are willing to risk his life there's a chance (if he wins) that you can get out of marrying#him BUT if your husband kills your lover and still wants to marry you you DOOO have to marry him sorry you just gotta#<- this also makes it incredibly dangerous to in any way warn your legal husband that a kal-if-fee might be incoming#the element of surprise is a HUGE advantage when it comes to winning a fight to the death (which your lover can train for)#Vulcans#T'Pol#T'Pring#star trek#I don't think this is bad necessarily (as a fictional worldbuilding thing) but I wish it were explored more#It's especially interesting because it's an aspect of logical Vulcan society - it's clearly not logical but it's also clearly rooted deeply#in tradition which may mean Vulcan long ago used to have a much more extreme gender bias towards the male population#it just implies a lot that Vulcan has these old laws which are unfair towards women yet they still follow BUT women are treated as equal#citizens OUTSIDE of marriage! Maybe there was a feminist movement before? Is there another brewing? Where are the Vulcan feminists!
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MC: You...seem like a person whose brain doesn't react to women.
Mephisto:……
Mephisto: Are you saying that there is something wrong with my pituitary gland?
MC: Not exactly…
#mc’s trying to call Mephistopheles gay but he only speaks posh bitch lmaoo#and when this posts that’s the end of Levi’s b-day queue XD#surprise it’s queue!#obey me!#obey me incorrect quotes#obey me shitpost#obey me crack#obey me mephistopheles#obey me Mephisto#obey me mc#om! mephistopheles#om! Mephisto#om! mc#om! incorrect quotes#incorrect quotes#ro’s dumb stuff tag!
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MERLIN | 5.08 The Hollow Queen
#merlin#colin morgan#bbc merlin#merlingifs#tvedit#syfysource#userashley#ee#gifs#m#this post is dedicated to the person who reblogged my killing kind set and said 'oh he got hot?'#respectfully. do you live under a rock#it's like all those people surprised that mikeyway was handsome during the swarm tour BITCH HE'S BEEN HOT 🗣️#anyway this is on my list of merlin moments that make me want to eat glass#508
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