#and then suddenly there he is. signing songs about Shrek.

[angeltannis]

being a “your music got me through the hardest times of my life” Eels fan always makes for a wild experience when watching the Shrek movies

[mlm-writer]

Hero of the Swamp (Shrek x Jaskier)

Edit by me 

Pairing: Shrek x Netflix!Jaskier (Julian Alfred Pankratz/Dandelion) Rating: Explicit Words: 2893 POV: Third Summary: After being left on the mountain, Jaskier finds himself lost in the swamp and in need of warmth and comfort. Note: Y’all can thank @spielzeugkaiser​ and their amazing art for this. Sorry for the sloppy edit, but I really was not going to put even more time into this sinful work.  Tags: I’ve been a bad boy daddy forgive me father fore I have sinned, pre-movies Shrek, post-mountain Jaskier, angst, fluff, Shrek’s huge dong, size kink, cum shower, monster cock, blowjobs, rimming, cum eating and Shrek has emotions ok 

The growls of monsters lurking in the forest rolled over the muddy forest grounds and reached Jaskier’s icy ears. He shivered in both terror and response to the temperature. He told himself he could get off that mountain on his own, but who was he kidding? His frigid ears caught something in the dark. The bard bolted off the path, then later found himself in the middle of nowhere, chilled to the bone, disoriented, and, to be honest, frightened. 

He was looking for a path, but even that seemed to not be present anywhere in the vicinity. Jaskier rubbed his trembling hands together and walked on. Jaskier thought he should at last find some shelter from the wind. Just as he was about to settle for a random tree, he noticed light in the distance, warm like fire, inviting him and promising warmth and shelter. 

The fatigued bard all but ran towards it, the signs around the perimeter unnoticed in the dark. His boots sunk into the mud of the swamp, but he had his eyes set on the house-like structure in the middle of the swamp. He could not believe anyone wanted to live in this stinky place, but right now this someone was about to be his saviour. Once at what he assumed to be the door, he knocked on it. When there was no answer he knocked again. There were some angry, heavy footsteps, before the door opened. 

Before him stood a massive humanoid, skin green like peas, frame built like Geralt who preferred cake over his nasty potions. “Eh, good evening, sir,” Jaskier tried. If it was living in a house, it must be intelligent to some extent… right? “Could you please spare some place for a weary traveller?” The green creature did not look nice, even without its facial expressions. Some tension left its body after the question. Jaskier recognised it as a hint of confusion. “I’m afraid I’ll freeze to death if I don’t warm myself by a fire.” 

“No, get out of my swamp,” the creature spoke. It sounded like it was from Skellige. It was about to retreat into its home, but Jaskier put his foot between the door.

“Please, I’ll die out here,” he spoke dramatically, hoping for pity so he’d have a roof over his head tonight. He was not sure if he should try his luck with this creature, but at least it could speak. Wraiths had said less words, before trying to slice him. 

“Not my problem. Get out of my swamp. The only way you get close to my fire is when I roast you over it.” “Oh please, you don’t mean that.”

Jaskier had barely finished speaking, when the green man grabbed him by his doublet and pulled him close. His breath stank of swamp water and fish. His mouth was wide and Jaskier was pretty sure he would fit inside there. The bard felt like he should be terrified, but underneath a thin layer of leather and cloth, there was warmth radiating off pear skin. He wanted to lean into it, thaw. What inhibited his survival skills further, where those eyes glaring into his. Under bushy eyebrows rested two brown pools of warm broth. He heard the green man roar into his face that he needed to leave, because he was an ogre and he was going to eat him, but it was hard to believe him. 

Within those eyes that were so close to his, the ogre told the story of a creature that wanted to be alone, because alone was safe, alone was comfortable, alone was all he was used to. Jaskier never knew that, but after today, he understood why one would think that. 

“If life could give me one blessing, it would be to take you off my hands.”

It stung, more than anything had caused him to ache in ages. Jaskier could feel the urge to never make friends again, never love again, never lust after one he could not have. However, he refused. It was pain that made life worth living. Without pain, bliss did not feel as good as it did. The rain made sunlight so much more appreciated. The cold made fire so much more precious. The monsters made the witcher so much more valuable.

The human knew this, but the ogre holding him up by his doublet did not. Jaskier had wished for pity, but he pitied the other now. He clumsily threw his arms around the ogre and hugged him tightly. The ogre stopped yelling at him. Jaskier could feel the muscles against his body tensing up. The hand holding him loosened and he threw his legs around the ogre too, holding on and hugging him tightly. “You don’t have to be alone. I don’t fear you,” Jaskier spoke gently. 

“I am an ogre.” “And if you were really malicious I would not still be breathing. Please, just for one night. There are all sorts of dangers out in these swamps, especially at night. I just want to stay alive.” 

Jaskier could hear the ogre letting out a long sigh. “Fine,” he spoke, “but you have to be gone tomorrow.” Jaskier let him go, but not after planting a delighted kiss on the rough skin of the ogre’s cheek. 

“Thank you so much,” the bard exclaimed. He slipped inside, before the ogre could change his mind. The inside of the hollowed out tree looked cozy. It stank like hell, but he was in the middle of the swamp; what did he expect? “Do you like music? I have little to give you, but I am a bard.” Jaskier held up his lute as he grabbed the chair that had no food in front of it. One look at the giant slug on a plate and he was pretty sure he did not want to have any food. Jaskier pulled the chair a little closer to the fire and sat down with his lute in his lap. It seemed rather strange that there were two hand-crafted chairs, while the ogre seemed to be so keen on being alone. “Oh and you can call me Jaskier, by the by. What may I call you, my hero from the swamp?”

The ogre looked at him a little annoyed as he closed the door and sat back down to finish his dinner. “Uh… Shrek. You can play, but don’t sing.” Jaskier let the name roll off his tongue, before playing a calming tune. He didn’t speak, just let his fingers do their thing as he processed all that happened during the day, well it was actually more just those few minutes that haunted his mind. Each one of Geralt’s words cutting into his soul. “Eh… Jaskier?” Jaskier was pulled from his thoughts when Shrek spoke his name. He shook his head, before looking at Shrek. “You don't seem to be… you… you seem sad, well, what I mean is… I never heard such a depressing tune.”

Jaskier faked a smile. “My apologies, good sir. I’ll play you a happier tune, if you wish.” He diverted his eyes to the fingerboard, blinking away the tears he suddenly noticed pooling in his eyes. 

“No, you don’t have to. I prefer silence, anyway.” Jaskier looked up and noticed Shrek had finished eating. He stood up and started cleaning up. “You can sleep on my good chair.” Jaskier followed the ogre’s gaze to the fauteuil in the corner. He nodded. It looked comfortable enough. He had slept on forest floors with Geralt. This was more luxury than a regular day with the witcher. 

Shrek had some board and card games, which he seemed to enjoy to play. Jaskier wondered if Shrek usually played these games on his own or if he hosted guests more often. Neither seemed likely, since the games seemed to have gone untouched for at least a decade, if not longer. They shared a few laughs. Shrek turned out to be more fun company than Jaskier would ever have expected from an ogre. His jokes were terrible and sometimes a little insensitive, but he so clearly meant well. It was clear Shrek was not used to talking or any social interactions. He spoke like a young man still trying to figure out what was socially acceptable to say and what was not. Still, he was trying and Jaskier welcomes the vivid chatting. 

When they got tired, Jaskier curled up on the comfortable fauteuil by the fire. Shrek had draped a shirt of his over the human. It stank and was dirty, but it was warm and Jaskier was still low key afraid of getting kicked out to sleep in the mud, so he didn’t voice a single word of complaint. In the silence of the night with no one to talk to, words that were already spoken returned to his mind. Jaskier tried to block them out, but they bit at his brain, keeping him awake and drawing tears from his eyes. He curled further in on himself, trying to stay quiet as he sobbed into his hands. It just hurt so much to be discarded like he was nothing but a nuisance. Was that all he was? He was sure his songs brought joy in taverns, but right now the unlikely and unrealistic idea that everyone just pretended to have a good time was so overwhelming. 

The bard flinched when he felt a huge hand on his shoulder and arm. He looked up to find Shrek hanging over him in nothing but his smalls. He looked like he wanted to say something, but the ogre clearly wasn’t good with words. “I’m fine, Shrek,” Jaskier lied as he wiped the tears off his face, “I’ll just find the nearest town tomorrow and fuck the pain away.” The words had already left him, when he realised how that might sound. “And I’ll do that tomorrow, not because I think you’re hideous, quite the contrary, you might be the most handsome ogre to ever exist, but I just assumed you would not be interested in having sex with a human… male. Human male, doesn’t seem your taste, but it could be, I wouldn’t judge you. How could I? You’ve been a most generous host! I…” 

Jaskier almost suffocated as Shrek’s palm covered the entirety of his face. He got the hint and just shut up. Shrek slowly let go of his face, allowing him to breathe again. Jaskier looked away, cheeks red. He was blabbering nonsense to an ogre who preferred peace and quiet. He guessed it was time to sleep in the mud outside, however, Shrek wasn’t yelling at him… yet. 

“So you just have sex and that helps you feel better?” Jaskier nodded slowly. “I wouldn’t mind helping you feel better. It is not like I have had lassies lining up in the swamp… or lads.” He laughed a little awkwardly, making Jaskier laugh too. He took hold of one of Shrek’s huge fingers with two of his, by comparison, tiny hands. 

“Oh Shrek, you are such a wonderful host. You really do not have to do this though. I will still want to visit you again, even when you don’t want to fuck my brains out, just so I don’t have to think about some brutish asshole.” Shrek gave him a long look, before enclosing his hand around Jaskier’s waist and lifting him off the fauteuil. 

“It’s not just for you. It’s for me too.” And Jaskier wanted to read into those words, figure out the ogre with complicated feelings, but he had no willpower to. Shrek’s bed was firm, almost hard like a plank. It smelled like him, like onions and mud and firewood. Shrek tried to undress him, but his huge fingers couldn’t get a grip on Jaskier’s complex clothing. Jaskier smiled kindly at him, helping him without even needing to look at any button. “Can I kiss you?” Jaskier didn’t even reply. Instead he pulled Shrek’s head down. It was an awkward kiss. Shrek’s mouth was way too big and neither of them were very coordinated in the moment. 

When his clothes were mostly off and Jaskier was left in his smalls, Shrek kissed down his body, his huge tongue lapping at his skin and Jaskier could hear him enjoy the taste. He hummed to signal his pleasure, letting the ogre go about his business. Shrek pulled off his smalls and to Jaskier’s complete surprise, the ogre took his cock in his mouth. Jaskier whimpered, hands grabbing the sheets. Everything about Shrek was big, including his mouth. Even when the ogre sucked him to full hardness, Jaskier still didn’t feel the back of the ogre’s throat. Shrek sucked in his balls at well and Jaskier almost cried from the pleasure of having his cock and balls inside a warm mouth.  

When Shrek let Jaskier go, his length was hard, red and leaking. Jaskier barely had time to recover, before he felt that glorious tongue on him again, this time licking over his hole. Whispered pleas left his lips as he imagined that tongue inside of him. Then a thought crossed his mind. If everything about Shrek was big, what about his dick? Jaskier had seen the ogre’s hands and one finger was already bigger than the average cock. While he normally was down to go big, the imaginable size of Shrek’s dong low key terrified him.

His mind had no opportunity to freak him out completely, because Shrek’s tongue entered him and the feeling was so, so good. Jaskier moaned as big green hands spread his cheeks and thick wetness penetrated him. “Ah… ah Shrek I hate to be a uh… fuck!” The bard trashed his arms around when his new found friend started to stroke his cock at the same time. “I’m gonna cum! Way too soon, I know! Sto..aahh...” His whole body tensed as he spilled all over himself. Shrek was unrelenting. As the bard’s cock was spent, he still had his tongue inside him, pressing at the right places and wiggling around so talentedly. “Stop, stop, stop, it’s too much, really, too much.” 

Jaskier was out of breath, head fuzzy with post-orgasmic bliss. His whole brain short-circuited as Shrek’s tongue licked over his torso, cleaning him off all the cum he had spilled over himself. “Are you all right?” The green-skinned sex machine inquired with innocent eyes that did not match the absolute tent in his smalls. 

“Say, Shrek, will I die if I swallow ogre cum?” Jaskier almost laughed at Shrek’s expression. It was a ‘yes, no, maybe’. “Ok fine, but I will suck you off still.” The human pushed at the ogre, cornering the larger frame against the opposite wall, before getting on his knees. 

“With all due respect, Jask, I don’t think you can fit me anywhere.” Jaskier didn’t listen, pulling down Sherk’s white smalls in spite of knowing the ogre was probably right. As soon as 12 inch of green cock basically slapped him in the face, Jaskier knew he was in way over his head. Still, he was confident that if he tried, he could still fit the head inside his mouth. With Shrek still assuring him he did not have to do this, Jaskier started licking all over Shrek’s length. The taste was not as bad as he feared. In fact, the more he licked, the more he started to like it. Jaskier made out with the head of Shrek’s cock, fucking the slit with his tongue. Shrek was holding his shoulder, occasionally squeezing a little as he moaned. And oh were those delicious moans, primal, guttural, deep and vibrating through Jaskier’s entire body. 

The human tried many times, but he couldn’t slip the monster cock inside his mouth. He was resilient though and kept trying, while stroking the rest of the green length. He was so caught up in his quest that he didn’t hear Shrek telling him how close he was. He made a disappointed sound as he was forcibly removed from the cock in his mouth. Jaskier crawled back up the bed and stretched out his body. “Cum on me,” he wantonly moaned and Shrek did not disappoint. Jaskier had to close his eyes and mouth as he got showered in thick, beige cum. He never had felt this dirty, but it was a good kind. He wished he could have taken Shrek in his ass. He could’ve been so full. 

Once Shrek had stopped groaning, Jaskier dared to open his eyes. He could see guilt already spreading over Shrek’s face. He must have been a sight, so much smaller than Shrek and absolutely drenched in his cum. “Don’t look at me like that. I’ve always fantasised about being showered in cum. Just never thought that all that cum would come from a single person.” 

Shrek let out a relieved sigh and helped him wipe some cum off his face so it wouldn’t get into his mouth or eyes. “I’ll prepare you a bath,” he spoke gently, surprising Jaskier with the thoughtfulness. His eyes followed the ogre as he put his breeches on and moved out to probably get some fresh water. A laugh escaped Jaskier as he stared at the sticky substance covering his skin. Who would’ve thought that the swamp could’ve been so pleasant? 

[9worldstales]

MCU Loki Ep 2 “The Variant” intensive analysis

So, the 2nd “Loki” episode come out and, again, I couldn’t stop myself from talking about it.

Beware about spoilers!

After a brief summary that’s basically made by showing us the most relevant scenes of Episode 1 we’ve the Marvel opening, this time with its usual music… though the Marvel studios logo is still in green and gold.

We start this episode in Oshkosh, Wisconsin, 1985, the year of “Back of the future”, only there’s no Martin or Doc or the DeLorean, but just some sort of medieval fair.

Pity.

Anyway Minutemen get on the place and didn’t care at all about how they’re attracting the general attention with their look. We know why, because they think to reset the timeline before leaving so it’s not like their magical apparition might change something.

They believe they’ve detected the Variant so they enter in a tent thinking they can capture them… only to fall straight in a trap, as the Variant was waiting for them, starting a registration as soon as they are where the Variant wants them to be.

Yeah, the registration was meant to be for the show that should have taken place there but the Minutemen are smart enough to get it’s a trap.

After a recorded message that seem to imply in that tent there was meant to happen some sort of contest or show about saving a princess��

My lords, my ladies, welcome and thank you for joining us, here at the castle. Please, settle into your seats for a great battle is about to commence. The prize? Our princess. Will evil prevail, or are we holding out for a hero?

…the song by Bonnie Tyler “Holding Out For A Hero” starts and, as it does Hunter C-20 gets possessed by the Variant (we can see a hand touching her head, green magic on the tip of its finger, and then Hunter C-20’s eyes take an odd green colouring for a moment, a sign she’s possessed) and starts murdering out her own men in a joint effort with the Loki Variant. However while she fights she suddenly drops unconscious and a figure in a cape, clearly our Variant, stabs with her sword the last minuteman. Then, as usual, the Variant steals from the Minuteman what she needs and, this time, also kidnaps Hunter C-20 before disappearing.

Many have seen in the scene a reference to the Shrek 2 scene in which Shrek and his friends storm the castle in order to stop Fiona from kissing Charming, disguised as Shrek.

Me, I would just want to know if the princess is meant to be Hunter C-20 or this Loki Variant.

We’ll see.

Well, anyway we get the Loki title and them we find ourselves with Loki reading a jet ski magazine when Miss Minute would want him to review what he had learnt instead. She tries to quiz him but, although Loki seems to know the answers, he’s not interested in being quizzed, defining it boring.

His attention focuses on Miss Minute, asking her if she’s a recording or alive. She explains she’s both.

Loki looks around then tries to test it, rolling the magazine and attempting to use it to hit Miss Minute, who jumps around in an effort to avoid his blows. He seems to have fun. If this is idea of venting for the mistreatment he suffered at the hands of the TVA or he’s just being playful that’s up to speculation.

Miss Minute escapes inside the pc, complaining he’s being a jerk.

Mobius joins him and from his dialogue we discover the magazine is actually Mobius’ not Loki’s. The guy gives him a package, telling him they’ve to go and that he has to wear what’s inside it, which is actually a jacket, which Loki wears.

They join the others and Hunter B-15 explains how C-20 and her team disappeared in 1885 and they expect it to be an ambush by a Loki Variant, although they don’t know which kind of Loki Variant it can be. Loki suggests they’re the lesser kind, lesser than him, of course.

Hunter B-15 demands to see the back of his jacket on which we can see the writing Variant. She laughs seeing the writing, mockingly, the way one would when he has managed to put an insulting sign on someone’s back without them realizing.

Loki points out she was very subtle in it and she explains she doesn’t want anyone to forget who he is… which, I guess, means Hunter B-15 found yellow, star shaped badges too subtle or maybe not fitting to everyone they deemed a less human to prune away.

Still Loki asks her back if she means they shouldn’t forger he’s their only hope of capturing a murderer.

B-15, who never believed him to be capable of something, correct him saying they should never forget he’s ‘a cosmic mistake’. In short the writing is there to make him recognizable, to ostracize and to humiliate him. He’s not like them, he’s a Variant.

She’s not doing this because he’s dangerous and they should be wary of him, just because he shouldn’t exist.

Mobius states that this is enough… which hints he’s not enjoying this, but he allowed it to happen and didn’t even warn or prepare Loki about it.

Long story short he’s clearly different from B-15 who relishes in all this (and mind you, this is not a critic to Wunmi Mosaku, who’s awesome in the part, just to her character) but he still doesn’t really take a big stance against it as he stopped it only when it dragged on too long.

Mobius brings them back to business, telling everyone they’re looking for a Loki, a variation of the guy with them. He reminds them they should be familiar with Loki because they had pruned more Loki Variants than any other Variant and they’re all different, in appearances.

As Mobius speak we’re shown some Loki Variations with their numbers. Our Loki is the Variant L1130.

I wanted to check the numbers near the Lokis but it seems there had been a mistake in the handling of the numbers

Jotun Loki appears to have first the number L1247 but in the close up it switches to L6792

Cyclist Loki is L1247 and the hulking one is L6792 while the green dressed one is L8914 and the last one with the big helmet is L7803.

Long story short Jotun Loki has probably 2 wrong numbers pasted on himself as they belong to other variations but all the Lokis’ numbers has in common the letter L at the beginning which I guess, stands for Loki.

The visual makes something interesting, projecting the various variants on Loki, which makes us immediately aware of the differences but also reminds us they’re all still Loki.

What leaves me perplex is how those Variants became so different from the original Loki. I mean, our Loki was caught few minutes after he escaped. Unless those Loki managed to escape to the TVA for a while (which would risk the timeline to reach a red line so it seems unlikely it happened) how did they manage to deviate so much from how they were meant to be in the Sacred Timeline?

I mean cyclist Loki would have needed the time to take part to a race to in that cup!

It’s true that in this episode it will turn out the TVA worries only of deviations that impact the timeline, so maybe the TVA started worrying late in their case but it’s still weird.

Anyway Mobius starts digging into the powers they’ve in common which are shape-shifting, illusion-projection, duplication-casting and Mobius’ favourite, which we don’t get to hear as Loki interrupts Mobius saying he got one of the names of his power wrong, it’s Duplication-casting, not Illusion-projection and explains the differences between the two, finishing with:

“But you already knew that.”

… which they didn’t. In short it’s Loki’s turn to point out they act as if they know him when they don’t know him and his powers as well as they think and that he’s actually of some use.

On a sidenote there’s to wonder which one is Mobius’ Loki’s favourite power and if it’s meant to be relevant. This Variant showed it could posses people, and I wonder if what happened to Selvig at the end of “Thor” is a hint our Loki can as well. Our Loki could travel through the secret paths… in “Thor” he could spell his knives, which we know he can make appear out of nowhere. In deleted scenes we learn he could cause mist to appear. “Thor: Ragnarok” said Loki turned Thor into a frog. I wouldn’t mind if he were to start turn people of the TVA into frogs.

Anyway Mobius accepts his explanation and tells the others they’re gonna break in two teams, one of which will include himself and ‘professor Loki’.

B-15’s words about Loki being a cosmic failure clearly made an impression as one of the minutemen question the idea and Mobius is forced to admit since they can’t find this Loki Variant they need an ‘expert’.

Loki takes his chance to remind everyone that by expert Mobius means him. He’s there because he has a use, an importance, a role and they shouldn’t look down on him.

The scene switches.

Loki and Mobius are walking toward the door that will bring them in Oshkosh, Wisconsin, 1985.

Loki, repeating a pattern seen in “Thor: The Dark World” asks for a weapon…

Loki (Thor: The Dark World): “You could at least furnish me with a weapon. My dagger, something!”

Loki (Loki): “Do I get a weapon?”

…which Mobius refuses to give him. Loki though points out once out of the TVA he’ll have his magic back and asks Mobius if no one is worried he’ll betray them.

Loki: “Well, I'll have my magic back. Is no one concerned about that?”

Mobius: “Of what?”

Loki: “Me betraying you.”

This also is something we saw in “Thor: The Dark World”.

Loki: “You must be truly desperate to come to me for help. What makes you think you can trust me?”

Mobius can’t say Frigga did trust him or that he promises him vengeance in exchange of loyalty so he tries to go for something he knew Loki wanted, a meeting with the Time-Keepers. Considering Renslayer, who’s above Mobius, couldn’t grant Loki that, if I were in Loki I would genuinely doubt Mobius can. He just tries to dangle in front of his eyes something Loki might want to win him over.

Loki pauses as Mobius mentions he could meet the Time-Keepers and asks if that’s what’s on the table. Mobius doesn’t really give him a straight answer, just a ‘Keep that focus’.

I wonder if Loki really wants to meet the three space lizards or he just let Mobius believe so because, by acting that way, he made clear he’s interested.

Oh, now that I look at it behind the helmets of the minutemen there are codes which could be their identification codes or names, since they don’t seem to use names.

B-15 has obviously written B-15 while other minutemen had much longer codes.

The group arrives in 1985 and Loki makes a relevant question:

“Let me ask you this, why don't we just travel back to before the attack, when the Variant first arrives?”

It’s something many viewers have been wondering and it turns out that the answer is:

“Nexus events destabilize the time flow. This branch is still changing and growing, so you gotta show up in real time.”

In short the authors knew this could feel like a dumb plot hole so they made a rule to explain why this couldn’t be done. It’s still not perfert… I mean, what it means to show up in real time? They aren’t in the same time as 1985, when itìs real time for them? But whatever, it’s nice they tried to fix this problem.

Mobius asks Loki if he watched all the explicative videos he was supposed to watch and Loki replied only as many as he could stand because he find that their ‘TVA propaganda is exhausting’.

I’m glad Loki and I see things in the same way. Most of the TVA babbling is propaganda meant to brainwash people’s mind.

A Minuteman then asks Loki what ‘these’ (these being the Time Charges) do.

Loki knows perfectly and gives us the confirmation to the thing I, and many others, suspected in the past episode.

Time Charges…

“Reset charges prune the affected radius of a branched timeline, allowing time to heal all its wounds. Which sounds like a nice way of saying disintegrate everything in its vicinity.”

So yeah, it’s genocide or total destruction of that timeline and all the people in it.

But also yeah, Loki studied all he was supposed to study although he insists he watched only some of the videos. I’m not surprised though, a wizard had to be good at studying things and Loki clearly wanted to know how that world worked so of course he would have watched the video even if he’s downplaying it.

They reach the place in which the TVA fought Loki and discover the Loki Variant kidnapped C-20. It turns out that it’s the first time that Variant kidnapped someone. A minuteman suggests the Variant might have pruned (aka killed but the TVA doesn’t use that word) C-20.

B-15 acts defensively, saying a Loki couldn’t have beaten C-20. She clearly views the Lokis, the whole of them as this time she’s not even saying Variants, as inferior. She should probably remember she got collared by one Loki.

Loki tries to warn her saying she’s underestimating the Variant… which she’s doing as the Variant could have very well ‘pruned’ C-20 had the Variant wanted to.

B-15 isn’t interested in hearing him out as she interrupt him and tells the other to fan out and starts searching for C-20 fast as they’re approaching the red line.

Loki stops them, telling them if they’ll leave the tent they’ll end up killed. B-15 thinks it’s a waste of time but Mobius is willing to hear him out.

Loki launches himself in a long explanation, the gist of it being he thinks there’s a scheme behind the Variant’s actions, that they should be aware of their surrounding, listen more (like he does) and less prone to underestimate him or the ‘lesser Loki’.

Now… he’s not completely wrong, the TVA underestimates him, and they has underestimated the other Loki Variant, which we saw lead to some of their losses.

Loki claims the Variant wants him because they know he’s the stronger Loki and so wants to join forces with him to overthrown and rule the TVA. I’m not sure how the Variant would have known there’s a Loki working with the TVA but let’s assume they do and that Loki’s reasoning could make sense… or could be explained with him trying to paint himself as more important than he is.

But then he goes saying that this isn’t what he wants as he’s now a servant of the Sacred Timeline… which is patently untrue and hard to believe… who can hand them the Variant but what assurances he won’t be disintegrated once the job is done.

And okay, his own is a legitimate worry and a legitimate request.

It’s actually clever to ask for reassurances the TVA won’t dispose of him once the job is done… though it’s not like there’s an actual bargaining ground because, if Loki isn’t cooperative and therefore is useless, the TVA will dispose of him anyway.

It’s not so clever he would try to pass himself for a servant of the timeline when he clearly didn’t play the part well. Of course since he said Asgardians were fundamentally naïve, maybe that’s the kind of people he’s used to deal with… but he has experienced distrust in Asgard in “Thor”, proof his own people isn’t so naïve… and he should have figured out Mobius isn’t either.

And then he presses for urgently meeting the Time-Keepers saying they’re in grave danger… and this jump isn’t smooth.

Mobius knows Loki wants to meet the Time-Keepers, so of course if Loki pushes the issue in this way he’s going to be prone to assume it’s a trick. The speech doesn’t even keep a logical flow because Loki first presented himself as better than the Variant and capable to handle it but reluctant to do so for fear of being erased… but now he’s presenting the Variant as a grave threat that requires them to urgently talk with the Time-Keepers.

So from one side it’s pushing for too much when he hadn’t even shown himself to be useful yet and for another it makes for a weak argument if he’s really as superior as he claims to be.

So… hum… the speech seems to tumble down in an unsatisfactory manner, ‘seems’ being the operative word because, if there’s a goal behind its weak points, then they still have a reason to exist.

I’m actually not quite sure which game Loki is playing with the TVA.

He’s for sure trying to survive but then what else does he want to get? I don’t believe he aims to control the universe but I’m pretty sure he’s not swallowing the TVA propaganda and he doesn’t enjoy to be there.

His timeline was pruned so he can’t go back there. Does he want to save Frigga? Is that what he aims to do? Does he want to go into the timeline after… let’s call it ‘canon Loki’ died so as to replace him?

Prior to it?

I don’t know.

Is he saying all those things for the Loki Variant’s benefit? He hopes the Variant is out there hearing him and his speech would make the Variant interested in joining forces?

I don’t know. We’ll see.

Anyway as expected Mobius figures it’s a trick and, since there’s no more time to do anything else, they just reset the timeline and leave.

On another note I like how Loki uses an Asgardian way to say. Way too often in movies even aliens feel compelled to use English ways to say instead than way to say from the world they belong to.

We also see how a time charge works. Loki hurries to move away as soon as he sees them starting it.

They… do something with the top part of it, I’m not sure if they push a button or pulled some sort of safety pin. We see something yellowish being released in the fluid inside the time charge which then turns purplish. The purple colour expands to the whole glass of the time charge until from below it something like a coloured expanding pool comes out. Everything that gets touched by that pool ends up being disintegrated.

At the TVA the monitors show that the ‘reset’ (read ‘disintegration’) of the timeline is done and that C-20 ended up MIA.

A music that’s half sad half… disquieting, start being played and we move into Renslayer’s office.

Mobius is complimenting for her office, pointing out how there’s a new snow globe in it and how he doesn’t remember bringing it to her.

She replies he’s not the only analyst working for her, which seems to imply analysts working for her are meant to bring her souvenirs from their missions. Or better… not quite. Mobius asks her why she gets to keep all the trophies from his cases, which seems to imply they weren’t given willingly.

Still, he tries to get her to admit he’s her favourite analyst.

I’m not really sure what’s going on between these two. They don’t seem to be in a relationship and I’m not sure if Mobius’ attempts at flattering her are because he’d like to be in a relationship with her but doesn’t dare to push the issue or because he’s currying her favours.

We’ll see.

Renslayer moves the discussion to the mission Mobius just botched and I don’t know if I would define it as such. Okay, so they didn’t find C-20 nor the other Loki Variant but chances here are two:

- the Loki Variant was out there using C-20 as bait as Loki said, setting a trap for them, and they successfully avoided it

- the Loki Variant wasn’t out there and so wasn’t C-20 and therefore was nothing for them to find.

Either way the mission wasn’t botched as they came back and successfully disintegrated… pardon, the TVA doesn’t like that word, they prefer ‘purged’ the branched timeline and any living being inside it.

Renslayer, referring to Loki as just ‘this Variant’ complains he’s insubordinate, stubborn and unpredictable like Mobius.

Honestly I think the whole series is trying to draw parallels between Loki and Mobius, where Mobius is however the one who chose to submit to the system where Loki just can’t stand it and wants to break it down.

So, although Mobius should be ‘all lawful’ we can see there’s a bit of ‘chaotic’ inside him.

It’s probably worth to remember that ‘lawful’ and ‘chaotic’ are nothing else but the two opposite extreme on the Ethical axis used for RPG alignment where Lawful represents obedience to the law and Chaotic leans toward personal freedom, without regards to the law.

There’s another sign Mobius isn’t fully lawful, the fact he has the bad habit to leave the glass rest on Renslayer’s furniture, leaving rings, and then insisting he’s not who caused them as they were already there… when Renslayer points out they’re all there due to him.

I know a part of the fandom loves Mobius but I wonder if he’s in the story not only to interact with Loki but also to work in contraposition to him. There are two paths for him, either he chooses the same path as Loki or the opposite. We’ll see.

Mobius tries to blame the ring on Renslayer’s other favourite analyst. I wonder if such person exists and is meant to have a relevance in the story. It’ll be interesting if it’s the other Loki Variant in disguise.

I mean… the other Loki Variant knows plenty of things about the TVA which hints at how they should have a previous and prolonged contact with them because the TVA explains nearly nothing about how their things work to their captives but the other Loki Variant knows what Reset charges are and how they work or how to use a TemPad to open Timedoors.

Yet Mobius doesn’t seem to have info on when they captured that Variant, carried it to the TVA and then let them escape, so again, how did the Variant learnt so much about the TVA?

From another escaping Variant?

Hard to say?

Did they saw the TVA and tailed them till the TVA unnoticed?

I can’t really tell, we’ll see.

Anyway, back to their conversation, Renslayer points out the issue isn’t Mobius’ methods with Loki, but the fact he towed a dangerous Variant into the field… meaning they consider Loki dangerous.

Mobius claims that from that they had learnt ‘the Variant’ likes to stall for time, so the other Variant might end up doing the same, because, to Mobius, understanding one Loki leads to understand the other.

And I’m:

- actually you didn’t need to bring Loki to the field to learn this, didn’t you notice that’s what he did in other circumstances?

- if the two Lokis are different, no, understanding one doesn’t mean understand the other. I mean you had a Loki who was fine living as a Jotun while this one was traumatized by the idea he was a Jotun, Loki can be pretty different about them, enough to be complete opposite so no, nobody said they’ll surely share that particular trait.

Whatever, let’s go on.

Renslayer says Mobius has a soft spot for broken things (which Mobius denies because he’s a bit like Loki and doesn’t want to show weakness), which acknowledges this Loki is broken… but gains him no sympathy from Renslayer as she said that ‘Loki is an evil, lying scourge’. Because he attacked New York? Nope, just because this is the part he plays on the sacred timeline and he can change only if the Time-Keepers decree so, not because he wants to.

Renslayer is big on the predeterminism when it’s about Loki (who’s a Variant by the way and therefore already out of the Sacred Timeline) but why doesn’t she apply it to the TVA as well? They’ll take the Variant only if the Time-Keepers will so.

I think the TVA’s faith in the Time-Keepers has plenty of weak points and is hypocritical. I wonder if the show will explore this.

Mobius switches topic asking how the Time-Keepers are and it turns out he NEVER met them. So he basically can’t even be sure they exist or not, yet he’s pouring all his faith in those three space lizard.

Mobius seems kind of glad he hadn’t met them, which seems to hit they’re either dangerous to meet or he doesn’t have a good opinion of them.

Renslayer says:

“The Time-Keepers are monitoring every aspect of this case. I've never seen them so involved. They want that Variant caught.”

…which seems a way to put Mobius under pressure but really, if they decide the flow of time, shouldn’t the decide if Mobius will catch the Variant or not? They can decide if a Variant Loki can change or not but they can’t control the other?

Anyway Mobius signs the event report Renslayer already signed. We can see Renslayer signs R Slayer while Mobius signs M. M. M.

Mobius notices the pen he used for signing has the writing ‘Franklyn D. Roosvelt High School’ on it and complains that pen too should be from the other analyst Renslayer favoured. And I wonder again, who they are? They’re meant to be relevant? Or they’re only a plot device to make Mobius jealous?

Renslayer only tells him to stay focused. As he’s about to leave though, she stops him asking him if he believes in that Variant. Mobius doesn’t confirm this, saying Loki believes in himself enough for the both of them, complaining Loki is really arrogant and that he will delete him himself if this doesn’t work.

Of course these might be just words he tells to Renslayer but we saw him taking part to erasing timelines and even if he showed sympathy and kindness to the French boy he met in the cathedral in the very first episode, he let him be reset.

“Don't worry, that devil's afraid of us. We're gonna take care of him. And we're gonna put you back where you belong.”

This apparently kind sentence meant they disintegrate him and his timeline so the place the boy belong is basically oblivion.

But I’ll dig on Mobius and Loki in a moment.

For now let me pause a moment on the pen, another gift of Renslayer’s mysterious over analyst, with written on it ‘Franklyn D. Roosvelt High School’.

Franklyn D. Roosvelt, ex-president of the united state is also relevant for the MCU.

In 1940 Roosevelt ordered the formation of the Strategic Scientific Reserve (SSR) to fight the Nazi Party, even though the United States was still at peace with Germany. To ensure that only the greatest scientists work for the SSR, Roosevelt ordered Chester Phillips to recruit Howard Stark into the agency. SSR works in the creation of the Super Soldier Sierum, which ‘gives birth’ to Captain America then it is the re-tasked to fight Hydra. Later it will become part of S.H.I.E.L.D.

So yeah, maybe it’s a coincidence but it’s interesting.

Back to the story.

Mobius leaves Renslayer and we discover Loki has been left outside Renslayer’s office to wait.

Mobius whistles and also motions to Loki to follow him.

Some has compared this with how one would act to a dog. It’s possible they’re not so off track.

The TVA is a world that discriminates Variants and find them worth only being erased. They shouldn’t exist, they’re cosmic jokes, no one should forget someone is a Variant.

Mobius too in his discussion with Renslayer referred to Loki as just “the Variant”. Yet Mobius also feels some sympathy for Loki. Renslayer says he has a soft spot for broken things, if can mean she acknowledges Loki was broken by his experience… but she might also refer to the mere fact he’s a Variant and Variants, in a way, can be seen as ‘broken’ as they didn’t function properly but followed their own path instead than the one the Time-Keepers traced for them.

So the idea Mobius sees Loki as some sort of pet can be fitting. Mobius is growing fond of Loki… but he’s still imbued in all the TVA’s beliefs and teachings about predeterminism and how Variants are bad.

He doesn’t want to be needlessly mean to Loki, but the latter isn’t equal to him, he’s a tool, as everyone reminds him and as he has to remind to everyone else.

Variants has no rights in the TVA, they just exist to be pruned, reset, or, in less pretty but more realistic words, disintegrated.

And Mobius is a guy in the middle.

While he doesn’t want to be a jerk to Variants… or to people in the Sacred Timeline who’re going to die, he’s not really willing to fully fight against the system because he has faith in the system and a side of him he thinks Loki should just accept his place.

We see it in their discussion.

Loki is somewhat nervous… which, I’ll be honest, feels a little weird to me because he’s being openly nervous when usually Loki can keep controlled and hide this sort of things.

He had played a high risk bet during the mission and lost, he had time to think at what to say to Mobius while Mobius was discussing with Renslayer yet what he comes up isn’t really worth of someone who’s supposed to have a silver-tongue.

Okay, so it’s not like we were shown him using his silver-tongue in the movies, as people tended to do the opposite of what Loki asked them or not listen him at all, with the exception of Malekith and the Grandmaster… but we don’t get to see how Loki won the Grandmaster over.

Whatever, maybe there’s a reason, maybe not, we’ll see.

When facing the Variant later, Loki will say he kept the TVA vulnerable at the Renaissance Fair for some time and also that he has been working on gaining their trust. Presenting himself as openly insecure to Mobius, instead than hiding it as he would usually do, might be part of winning him over. As I said in the past commentary for ep 1, sometimes there are more benefits in being honest than in lying, so it can be that it’s not that Loki isn’t nervous, it can be he sees more benefits in showing it to Mobius.

We’ll see.

Mobius is in a bad mood. Although it didn’t seem Renslayer had given him a earful for his failure, it can be his failure burns. He tells Loki to show up, reminding him in the elevator he said he didn’t like to talk… which is something else that makes me think Loki is trying to give Mobius EXACTLY what Mobius asked for, so as to fulfil his expectations and lower his guard.

The following conversation is relevant.

Mobius: Okay. Just shut up! Please. What happened to the guy I met on the elevator? Who didn't like to talk. Remember him? Now I'm stuck with this guy who won't stop yacking away about what makes a Loki tick!

Loki: What? Isn't that precisely why I'm here?

Mobius: No. I don't care what makes you tick. You're here to help me catch the superior version of yourself. That's it!

Only Mobius in the previous episode told him he wanted exactly this from him.

Mobius: I'm serious. All I seek is a deeper understanding of the fearsome God of Mischief. What makes Loki tick?

This is the problem of an unequal partnership like their own. Loki isn’t there because he’s Mobius’ partner and equal, Loki is there to serve a purpose, capturing the other Loki. Renslayer might be right and Mobius might have a soft spot with him, but in the end Mobius ends up reminding Loki his place in the TVA, he’s there to be useful.

Loki takes offence by Mobius calling the other Variant “superior”.

Mobius gives us a slice of his mind… and Loki calls him out on his attempt of manipulation.

Mobius: See? There it is. Right there. I believed, stupidly, that insecure need for validation would motivate you to find the killer. Not 'cause you care about the TVA mission or bein' a hero, but because you know this Variant is better than you and you can't take it.

Loki: Very nice. I mean, it is adorable that you think you could possibly manipulate me. I'm ten steps ahead of you. I've been playing a game of my own all along.

But there’s something else worth pointing out. Mobius clearly believes working for the TVA equates at being a hero… and also that Loki would be so prideful he would serve the TVA merely to show them he’s better than the other without caring of how the TVA then might dispose of him.

And again Loki shows his cards way too openly so Mobius calls him out.

Mobius: What, charm your way in front of the Time-Keepers, hustle them, and seize control of the TVA? Am I getting warm? A double cross by history's most reliable liar.

Is really this what Loki aims at? This is what he’s telling around but is really this? Maybe but it seems so obvious, even Mobius could guess it in 5 minutes so… I don’t know, it seems too predictable for someone who’s supposedly smart.

The discussion goes on. Loki has figured since Mobius didn’t have him erased after that failure he is sticking his neck out for him so he asks him why.

Mobius: I'll give you two options, and you can believe whichever one you want. A, because I see a scared little boy, shivering in the cold. And you kinda feel bad for that ice runt. Or B, I just wanna catch this guy, and I'll tell you whatever I need to tell you.

I think both options are true, although usually, when proposing two options, the implication is the speaker is telling us to chose the last one… and it makes sense because this is the main motive Mobius is helping Loki. He could do nothing for him if it wasn’t because Loki could be useful… but this doesn’t men Mobius has no sympathy for him.

On another note it’s the second time the scripts hints at Loki as being young

Loki: I was young (in 1971), and I lost a bet to Thor. Where was the TVA when I was meddling with these affairs of men?

I really wonder if the idea is that Loki is young for Asgard standards.

Anyway Loki points out he doesn’t need Mobius’ sympathy, at which Mobius replies that’s good because he’s running out of it.

And again in itself there’s a problem. Mobius probably sees himself as a good person, because the fact he’s using Loki also means he’s sparing Loki from being pruned but, of course, if he has no use for Loki, this wouldn’t save him any longer.

If sympathy is tied to personal convenience, it’s not really sympathy.

As soon as they caught this Loki Mobius ran there to get him for himself because he thought it would be useful. He could have grown fond and it’s fine because it happens… but the key is still Loki has to be useful to him in order to be kept. So he’s not a really selfless act.

That’s why Mobius is no hero, who selflessly sacrifice for Loki, because he hopes in personal gain and… and it’s absolutely human. Mobius might have studied Loki but he basically just met him. Mobius has his own life. Why should he sacrifice it for Loki?

He’s planning for their allegiance to offer mutual benefits, Loki helps Mobius to wipe another Loki out of existence and Loki gets to live a little longer even though, being a Variant, Loki should have been already disposed of.

Mobius probably feels very kind and the other at the TVA would probably agree with him, because he’s giving a chance to someone who is lesser and has no right to chances and this is how their world work.

But we, viewers should be capable to understand their world works in the wrong way.

Loki: What's this? Next step of your manipulation...

Mobius: This is the final step. Your last chance.

Loki: Oh, and what does my desperate last chance require?

At this point Loki has moved back into keeping distance. He calls what’s Mobius is doing as manipulation and sounds flippant as he talks of his ‘desperate last chance’.

Mobius might have sympathy for him but Loki has likely figured out Mobius wouldn’t save him from the TVA beyond a certain point. The very best Mobius can offer him is to remain there working for the TVA to catch other Lokis, all while wearing a jacket that points out he’s a Variant as well, a cosmic joke.

Maybe Mobius might manage to have him dismiss wearing that jacket. Still, all this is tied to how much useful he can be. Mobius though can’t offer him freedom or a way back home.

Anyway Loki’s last chance is to work, to go over each and every one of the Variant's case files, and then, give him his unique Loki perspective and find something. All this while Mobius goes to eat something and keeping in mind his life depends on him proving to be of some use.

Again we’re reminded that Loki isn’t free to drop this work, he’s forced to cooperate, his life depends on it.

Loki starts looking through the documents which basically cover the various cases in which the Variant ambushed the Minutemen and stole their reset charge, clearly not finding them interesting. A woman hush him and he hush her back.

Loki tries going to the one who seems a librarian… but who’s actually so mechanical she feels more like a robot who can’t stop typing to pay attention to those who call her if they don’t ring at her first.

Loki asks her for more files. No, not files on the case, files pertaining to the creation of the TVA… but they’re all classified. The same goes for files pertaining to the beginning of time and the end of the time.

Exasperated Loki asks which files he can have and he’s handed a handful of them which, merely cover his case as a Variant and the life of his alternate self in the sacred timeline.

Loki reads them anyway and discovers of the destruction of Asgard.

As he does he can’t help but shed a tear for his former planet, before noticing the TVA also noted that during the event there was zero variance energy detected.

This causes him to connect some important dots and so he rushes to join Mobius to the restaurant.

At first Mobius doesn’t want to listen him, claiming he told him not to bother him until he read all the files which Loki claims to have done.

Honestly he didn’t seem particularly interested in them but he might have done it as someone who practices magic should have been good at studying. Mobius insists and Loki points out  what they’re searching isn’t in the files but in the timeline as the Variant is hiding in the apocalypse.

Mobius asks which one and Loki mentions Ragnarok, asking him if he’s familiar to it. And I wonder if Loki wanted an answer to this one question, if he wanted to know if Mobius knew his homeland was wiped away, that this is something the TVA allowed.

Mobius confirms he knows about it and apologizes to him.

Loki pretends not to care and goes on discussing how a Nexus event is the result of someone doing something he’s not supposed to that causes a chain reaction of things that aren’t supposed to happen.

Mobius confirms.

At this point Loki steals the salad Mobius was eating for his example and decides in his metaphor that salad will represent Asgard.

And tell me whatever you want but, as far as I’m involved this is Loki paying back Mobius for letting him to work while he went to eat.

Mobius gets immediately that his lunch is going to meet an abrupt demise but Loki doesn’t let this deter him.

Loki suggests if he were to go on Asgard before Ragnarok he could do whatever he wants, even push Hulk off the Rainbow bridge, and to prove his point, he adds more salt to the salad. He then says he could also set fire to the place. I don’t know what he adds to Mobius’ salad as he says so, maybe pepper, but this is enough to make Mobius beg not to set fire to the place, which I find hilarious. Loki continues to put salt and… pepper? Into Mobius’ salad commenting that he can do whatever he wants without going against the dictates of the timeline.

He then picks up Mobius’ drink only to find it empty so he goes to get the drink from the nearby’s table, Casey’s table. He then pours it into Mobius’ salad, likely making it impossible to eat, explaining how the drink represents Surtur who will destroy Asgard no matter what Loki does so what he does doesn’t matter.

In short, in addition to making his point, Loki let Mobius too without lunch.

Fair since Loki didn’t have lunch at all.

Mobius still doesn’t get it so Loki goes further on explaining if they have an apocalypse of whatever kind it doesn’t matter what one would do in it because everything would get destroyed so the Variant has to be hiding in an apocalypse, doing whatever they want without them noticing.

Mobius is forced to admit it’s not a bad theory and Loki tells him to bring him to an apocalypse and he’ll show him.

Mobius accuses him of wanting to run back to his homeland and Loki says whatever apocalypse will do. Mobius makes clear he’s afraid to bring Loki around and Loki insists they’ve to test his theory. Mobius makes clear he’s afraid Loki would want to test how stabbable is his back.

Loki complains stabbing someone in the back is a boring form of betrayal. Mobius said he has done it 50 times… which is really not much for someone who lived as long as Loki especially since most of those stabbing if not all took place during battle, because Mobius is talking of literal stabbing here, not metaphorical one.

Loki is not really interested in arguing this one though and just says he won’t do it again because it got old which causes Mobius to laugh. Loki insists that he understands Mobius doesn’t trust him but he should trust something else, Loki loves to be right… and this seals the deal.

So the guys are at Pompeii, Italy – 78 AD, though it would be more correct to say they’re at Pompeii, ROMAN EMPIRE – AD 78 or 78 CE.

Eruption day.

While Mobius is absolutely scared they might mess up the timeline Loki is as overexcited like a kid on a sugar rush.

Loki cried reading of the destruction of Asgard but here he seems pretty giddy.

To Mobius scolding him because ‘it’s just not in good taste’ he replies ‘they’re gonna die anyway’.

And in itself is interesting. Mobius said he’s sorry for Asgard destruction, now he worries about ‘good taste’ but in the end he’s not going to do anything to spare those people’s lives.

The dead count will be of over 2.000 a good part of it dying a horrible albeit fast death as they’ll be literally vaporized by the heat of the pyroclastic flow.

In face of so many people about to die Mobius worrying Loki’s behaviour isn’t in good taste feels hypocritical, a mere care for the form, in fact he agrees with Loki it’s ‘cool’ the whole city will be wiped off the planet and his main worry is they shouldn’t create a huge branch.

Anyway, while Mobius insist they should start creating only a very small disturbance, Loki ends up freeing animals and announcing the eruption and the following death of everyone to the people.

Loki making all that chaos feels as if this is way to distance from the apocalypse that hit Asgard. Honestly I don’t think he wanted to go there during Ragnarok if there was nothing he could have done to save it.

However his speech is also an interesting way for Loki to try and pry info from Mobius about the TVA

Loki: ( Speaking latin ) You’re all about to die. That volcano is about to erupt! I would know, because I’m from the future. ( In english ) We are from the future, right? What is the TVA? I mean, it's from the future. It sounds from the future. It's pretty future-y.

Mobius won’t reply to him but the eruption will start right there, the Tempad continuing to sign zero variance energy, proving Loki was right. I wonder if this was also Loki’s way to try and see if an apocalypse could be prevented.

Oh, Loki talks Latin here but I’ve already talked about the language problem in the MCU and how the TVA seems to have a tv series version of Allspeak which, evidently passed to Loki too as he showed he previously couldn’t talk to Mongolian people.

On another note… the eruption, as depicted in the show, is not historically accurate.

Around 1:00 p.m., Mount Vesuvius violently erupted, spewing up a high-altitude column (the column supposedly as high as 30 km) from which ash and pumice began to fall, blanketing the area. Rescues and escapes occurred during this time.

It’s only much later, in the night or during the day after that the pyroclastic flows began and it Pompeei 4 minutes later, murdering everyone there.

The show instead seems to mix up the first eruption with the beginning of the pyroclastic flow (which is the one we see approaching from behind Loki), skipping the fall of ash and pumice.

Of course from a storytelling point of view it works a lot better, so it’s not a big deal and it’s just artistic freedom, it’s just my history lover’s heart which is bleeding.

If you want to enjoy how the eruption looked like there’s a nice video on Youtube “A Day in Pompeii - Full-length animation”.

The switch between Pompeii and back to the TVA feels a little abrupt, as if the Pompeii scene was meant to last more and they cut it.

Anyway they’re back on TVA and Mobius is summarizing Loki’s theory. Loki tells him he’s welcome, which, I take, is Loki’s clue he’d like to be thanked for his contribution. Mobius though is more focused on the mechanics of their new discovery.

He believes for Loki’s theory to hold the disasters have to be naturally-occurring, sudden, no warning, no survivors. So Ragnarok wouldn’t be okay because Loki and Thor triggered it and there were survivors. That is unless the TVA retconned “Thor: Ragnarok”.

Anyway, they decide they’ll have to find out how many of those natural disasters there are… but in the end Loki falls asleep on all the documents they’re checking.

I know there’s a debate if this proves he trusts Mobius or not… but the point is, he just proved himself he was of great help, so Mobius who has shown to have some measures of sympathy toward him despite his strict adherence to the TVA code and that make him capable to disintegrate him should need arise, has really no reason to harm him, quite the opposite.

Also he’s likely quite exhausted, both physically and emotionally otherwise he clearly wouldn’t fall asleep on an uncomfortable position over a stack of papers.

And differently from Mobius he supposedly didn’t even had lunch.

Mobius yawns which shows he’s clearly worn out as well, wakes him and tells him they’re going for a walk. So no bed, they’ll only take a small break.

I take they end up in the TVA version of a cafeteria where Loki asks Mobius about the jet ski magazine. Mobius ends up showing his total love for jet skis.

“Yeah. You know, some things... Actually, most things in history are kinda dumb, and everything gets ruined eventually. But in the early 1990s, for a brief, shining moment, there was a beautiful union of form and function, which we call the jet ski, and a reasonable man cannot differ.”

Actually he sounds like a fanboy, dismissive of everything he doesn’t like and imposing his own likes claiming no one could have a different opinion from him. It’s not a complain, it’s human. I like how the TVA members, despite their dystopian setting and their fanatic faith to the TVA religion have characteristics, both good and bad, that made them human.

However, at Loki’s question if he has ever tried a Jet Ski, Mobius admits he never been on one because if a TVA agent were to show up on a jet ski that would create a branch. It’s a poor excuse since they show up in timelines in their everyday clothes in time periods in which those clothes aren’t appropriate and anyway, who cares since they reset the branches so they could even show up naked and everything would get erased?

In this Mobius is the opposite of Loki, although he too has wishes that make him similar to Loki he doesn’t dare to fulfil them, he completely focuses on his work, he claims to read the magazines because they remind him what he’s fighting for… jet skis appearing in the Sacred Timeline in early 1990s apparently.

Okay, it’s more that he believes if the Sacred Timeline gets destroyed everything would but people who were believing to be heroes like he does would say they would fight for people, not for a beautiful vehicle that could be enjoyed only for a brief amount of time.

Mobius in a way is disconnected by the people on the sacred timeline, maybe because he never met them, he met the Variants, which are considered something to be pruned and nothing more and he actively help in pruning them.

So maybe he can’t work for people, because as soon as those people become variants, bang, they need to be wiped away. I think Mobius would like to be a decent person, I think he doesn’t want to harm people so he keeps distance and blindly swallows the TVA teaching and this discussion further proves it.

Loki asks if he really believes in all the TVA preaches and Mobius replies:

Mobius: I don't get hung up on, "Believe, not believe." I just accept what is.

It reminds me of a discussion he had with Loki in the past episode:

Loki: So that had the Time-Keepers' seal of approval, did it?

Mobius: Well, I wouldn't think of it in terms of approval and disapproval. That's sort of a... Let's get back to escapes...

Mobius just accepts things as they are presented. But why he accepts them?

Loki goes on summarizing how  the TVA’s beliefs are that three magic lizards created the TVA and everyone in it including Mobius, which for Loki is clearly something dumb to believe.

Loki: Every time I start to admire your intelligence, you say something like that.

Mobius tries to retort it by turning tables on Loki.

Mobius: Okay, who created you, Loki?

Loki: A Frost Giant of Jotunheim.

Mobius: And who raised you?

Loki: Odin of Asgard.

Mobius: Odin, God of the Heavens. Asgard, mystical realm, beyond the stars. Frost Giants. Listen to yourself...

Loki: It's not the same. It's completely different. No. It's not the same.

Mobius: It's exactly the same thing.

The HUGE problem in Mobius’ reasoning is that he’s mixing up what Loki has experienced, his skin turning blue, proving he’s a Jotun, living his whole life with Odin, believing him to be his father, with Mobius merely believes as Mobius has no knowledge of what the Time-Keepers are since he never met them and likely doesn’t even remember when he was created or things like that.

Loki believes in what he lived though because he touched and sampled it and, in fact, he had a breakdown when he discovered part of it, the part he had no memory about but embraced out of faith was a lie (Loki couldn’t remember his Jotun heritage or his birth so he accepted what he was told, that Odin and Frigga were his parents). This likely makes even harder for him to accept that Mobius would just blindly believe in something he hadn’t experienced in the slightest.

Mobius had said:

Mobius: I don't get hung up on, "Believe, not believe." I just accept what is.

But at the end of it what motivates him is blind belief.

Mobius: Because if you think too hard about where any of us came from, who we truly are, it sounds kinda ridiculous. Existence is chaos. Nothing makes any sense, so we try to make some sense of it. And I'm just lucky that the chaos I emerged into gave me all this... My own glorious purpose. Cause the TVA is my life. And it's real because I believe it's real.

The TVA is real because he believes so. It has to be or his own ‘glorious purpose’ would mean nothing. Loki got burned by the truth. Mobius doesn’t want to end up the same, he doesn’t want to think at the absurdity the TVA feds him, he doesn’t want to question if what he does is right or wrong because the truth might disappoint it, it might be ridiculous, in bad taste, like being excited as Pompeii is about to be buried by the volcano.

The TVA is Mobius’ religion, and, to paraphrase Karl Marx faith in the TVA ‘is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people.’

But this kind of mindset is also the mindset of whose who represent the ‘banality of evil’ of those who indulge in the capital vice of Acedia, whose who do not care, who do nothing to stop evil empower it and support it.

“...morally speaking, there is no limit to the concern one must feel for the suffering of human beings, that indifference to evil is worse than evil itself, that in a free society, some are guilty, but all are responsible.” ― Abraham Heschel

And, after all, Mobius works to support it, to support the TVA as they prune/reset countless lives.

There’s something else that’s interesting.

Mobius is supposed to be a lawful character… yet he doesn’t believe existence is order. Existence is chaos. And, in the same way as he’s afraid to try out a jet ski and making excuses for why he doesn’t do so, I think Mobius deep down is scared by chaos. Fascinated by it but scared by it as well. In fact he’ll later says that he believes when it all will end and the Time-Keepers will have finished untangling the timeline all that will emerge will be order.

Loki: Ah, I see. So, when they're finished, what happens then?

Mobius: So are we. No more nexus events. Just order. And we meet in peace at the end of time. Nice, right?

Loki: Only order?

Mobius: Mmm-hmm.

Loki: No chaos? It sounds boring.

Mobius: I'm sure it does to you.

Order is reassuring, it gives people a sense, a purpose, order is explainable. Order follows laws so it’s lawful. But order, like Loki points out, is also boring, predictable.  No bad surprise would come out of it, true, but no good surprise either. No change. No possibility to get worse… but no possibility to get better either. Order is static where chaos is always changing. You need a mixture of both to make a worthy life.

Besides the idea they ‘meet in peace at the end of time’ to me feels more like an attempt to use a different wording to say ‘we’re all dead’ or ‘we’ll be all pruned/reset’. So not particularly encouraging.

But I’m running ahead a bit. When Mobius says Loki that the TVA is real because he believes so, Loki accepts it. For the moment.

Loki: Fair enough. You believe it's real.

And I wonder if, in a way, Loki can understand. Because the chaos, the unpredictable, is what made him discover he wasn’t an Odinson. If he hadn’t questioned Odin’s words, if he hadn’t gone and taken the Casket of Ancient Winters in his hands but just turned his eyes away when his skin turned blue, if, like Mobius said, he hadn’t thought to hard at it, or at how bad Thor could be as a kind, if he just had shrugged everything off and said ‘yeah, I’m sorry Thor will be a poor kind but that’s what meant to be, who cares?’ and ‘yeah, it’s weird my skin turned blue but Odin said I’m his son so who am I to question him?’ he would have spared himself many unpleasant things.

He would be at Asgard, thinking to be Odin’s son, trying to help Thor, who prior to his banning to Earth was completely unfit to rule, not ruin completely the planet. That would be his own glorious purpose. Nothing more.

And while it wouldn’t be a great purpose… well, it would have spared him of a lot of pain so I think Loki can see the charm of it… but at the same time he can see the danger of it. If we’ll blindly follow the rules we give up on our free will.

Loki: So everything is written. Past, present, future. There's no such thing as free will.

Mobius: Well, I mean, you know, it's an oversimplification...

Mobius thinks it’s an oversimplification but it’s not. He’s probably telling himself since he submits to the rules willingly, well, that’s his free will. But we’ve seen that the other option is being reset. The Variants are nothing else but people who didn’t follow the dictation of the Time-keepers, a dictation they didn’t even know existed, but merely followed their free will. And the TVA erases them.

It’s true, the ones that follow the Sacred Timeline, not knowing they’re following the dictation of the Time-keepers, are still, in a way, following their free will, but it’s actually a pretty tricky situation because their options get pruned by the TVA.

People don’t exist in a vacuum. We take decisions according to what happens around us.

Now think to a world in which Odin tells Loki the truth right from the start. This would lead Loki to get very different decisions… only that Odin, if it ever existed, got pruned.

Think to a Thor who’s ready to rule when he’s about to be crowned so that Loki doesn’t have to disrupt the coronation. Well, think twice because that Thor got pruned.

Think to a Frigga who hands the crown to Loki but also sits next to him instead than next to Odin to support him while he’s going through his worst crisis. Pruned again.

Think to the Warriors Three and Sif not attempting to go fetch Thor after he’s banned. Sorry, they got pruned.

Think to Heimdall not allowing Thor to go to Jotunheim. Never mind he got pruned.

Loki made his choices. It was his free will. But his choices were tied to all that happened around him, and since all that happened around him was decided he was channelled toward certain decisions, everything working to make him take such decision.

Actually, each time he tried to take a different decision he too got pruned.

The resulting Loki that inhabits the Sacred Timeline, more than the result of his own free will, is the result of manipulation of the events and TVA selection. Which is kind of creepy.

But okay, it’s interesting how, in a way, Loki tries to connect with Mobius.

Maybe it’s Stockholm syndrome as Loki was someone held captive and sentenced to death and then Mobius came in and made clear that Loki’s survival depended on him, maybe it’s just that Mobius showed him some measure of kindness and appreciation and it doesn’t matter if he was being manipulative or not, Loki was so starved for it he fell for it, or he caught up on some similarities between them.

Sure, it can be that by connecting with him he can better use him but I don’t think that’s just it.

Mobius is someone Loki can connect with on an intellectual level, where Thor was just ‘let’s hit things’ and the Warriors Three and Sif were just, let’s do what Thor says.

And after Thor and his friends there were Thanos and the Other and clearly Loki couldn’t connect with them. So it doesn’t matter how screwed up the situation is and how Mobius manipulated Loki in their first meeting and what he told him, fundamentally Mobius is the only one Loki, who’s forced to go around with a jacket saying ‘Variant’ because no one has to forget he’s a cosmic joke, has in that setting.

So yes, it’s VERY screwed up but it makes sense Loki would partially latch on him. It’s human.

On another note I’m not really fond of the idea of Mobius using the French ‘au contraire’ while talking with Loki. Maybe it’s an ad-lib but since there’s already enough mess on how the TVA can talk all the languages and Asgardian somehow don’t have Allspeak, I would have preferred if they hadn’t mixed English and French now. Whatever, maybe that’s just me.

Loki goes on.

Loki: You called me a scared little boy.

Mobius: I called you a lotta things.

I wonder what Mobius means here, if he’s just telling Loki he shouldn’t focus on that (as calling him as such was Mobius’ attempt at showing him sympathy), but Loki nails another relevant topic.

Loki: You did. You're wrong, though. You see, I know something children don't.

Mobius: What's that?

Loki: That no one bad is ever truly bad. And no one good is ever truly good.

It’s interesting it’s coming from Loki because it means, differently from how sometimes Marvel movies seems to depict a world in black and white, Loki could see the shades of grey.

In his family. In the Avengers. In Thanos and the Other. Maybe even in the TVA people. And this means in himself as well.

And we go back to what he said in Ep 1:

Loki: I can't go back, can I? Back to my timeline. I don't enjoy hurting people. I... ( Sighs ) I don't enjoy it. I do it because I have to, because I've had to.

Mobius: Okay, explain that to me.

Loki: Because it's part of the illusion. It's the cruel, elaborate trick conjured by the weak to inspire fear.

Mobius: A desperate play for control. You do know yourself.

Loki: A villain. ( Sighs )

He painted himself as a villain, as someone all black, to show as if he was someone in control… in “Thor” when he was in an emotional storm, in “The Avengers” when he actually was working for Thanos.

But if we consider Loki’s words solely for their tie to the present discussion, he’s trying to tell Mobius that the black and white vision Mobius is trying to adopt doesn’t work. If there’s good in bad and bad in good, the perfect world Mobius thinks he can archive doesn’t exist and his glorious purpose is not so glorious.

Nothing is perfect and so no perfect order or perfect chaos can exist and trying to paint things or people black and white as the Time-Keepers are doing and the TVA as well, is a mistake.

Loki’s words though cause Mobius to remember the boy he met in the cathedral before going to Loki’s trial and how he had a candy box left by the Loki Variant. And I’ve always wondered WHY did the Loki Variant left that candy box behind? Is like she’s leaving breadcrumbs for the TVA or someone working with them to track her down.

Kablooie was only sold regionally on Earth from 2047 to 2051. While it wouldn’t be easy to track the Variant with just this, the Variant limits the place they’ve to search for them to only 4 years.

On an interesting note although Mobius claimed to know everything about Loki’s life he evidently had no idea if Asgardians had candies or not. So yeah, I think Mobius didn’t exactly knew EVERYTHING about Loki’s life, only what the TVA deemed relevant.

Anyway Mobius decides since they now know the Variant is hiding in an apocalyptic event in which Kablooie are involved they can cross-reference the two things.

Mobius has probably more clearance than Loki as he gets the files and then gives Loki a half, encouraging him to search fast through them by making it a competition… which actually is dumb, because the Variant can only be in one place so only the one who got that file among them can find it, no matter if he’s fast or slow… but whatever, Loki is motivated enough by this because he likes to win.

However, although Mobius asks him if he wants to bet on something, then he demands they’ll play for pride.

Anyway, as Mobius realizes it’s one apocalyptic event after another (all in 5 years) Loki finds what they’re searching for in an apocalyptic event in Alabama, 2050.

This gains him Mobius’ praise as he tells him he’ll take his job if he’s not careful.

I remember reading some interviews suggested Loki and Mobius had a mentor/student type of relation. Well, Mobius definitely feels like the mentor, one who takes care of Loki and teaches him how it works at the TVA, completely not focusing on how Loki was basically kidnapped by the place, doesn’t aim to stay there and people look down at him and is always ready to dispose of him because he’s a Variant… and what’s worse, the Variant of someone who, according to the Time-Keepers is meant to be ‘an evil, lying scourge’.

On the other side… working for the TVA is Loki’s only option to survive in that setting so Mobius likely sees it as Loki having to stop ‘thinking too hard’ and also make the TVA his life. In short he should just be like him and submit to the Time-Keepers.

So yeah, his point of view make sense but… it’s terrible, it’s actually telling people not to resist to wrong conditions but submit to them. It’s the typical mindsetting of a bureaucratic huge corporation or system, where no one matters and everyone obeys without worrying to much about what they’re obeying at.

But back to the story Mobius goes to Renslayer to asks her ‘to approve deployment of a fully-armed task force to the Variant's potential hiding spot’.

By the way said hising spot is in ‘Haven Hills, Alabama, corporate town owned by Roxxcart until it's wiped out by a hurricane’.

The name Roxxcart might remember to who read the comic or watched “Agent Carter” of the Roxxon Corporation, one of the world's largest conglomerates, founded in the 1940s. It also appeared in Marvel “Cloak & Dagger” and “Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.”, with vague references at it in “Iron Man”, “Iron Man 2”, “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Thor's Hammer”, “Iron Man 3” and the MCU comic “The Avengers Prelude: Fury's Big Week”. It’s hard to say if this will be another vague reference or there will be more.

Renslayer is prejudiced against our Loki as she continues to call him a Variant and tries dismissing the whole thing merely because HE suggested it and the other time he ‘blew up’ the previous mission. Which he didn’t but of this I’ve already talked.

Mobius is all happy Loki proved himself useful and his idea to use him was right but Renslayer instead insists on not trusting him, even though he just discovered a huge hole in their security system.

Now, okay, Loki isn’t to be trusted blindly, but Renslayer isn’t really giving a rational reason why this theory, which actually makes a lot of sense and is supported by some evidence Mobius collected, would be wrong. If they’re going to shot down any theory Loki comes up just because he’s Loki then she shouldn’t have even given him to Mobius.

In fact when Mobius point out how Loki HELPED discovering the hole in the security she’s only more worried.

Anyway Mobius is so excited he manages to get her to agree, although she warns him she won’t be able to help him if this doesn’t work out.

They kind of repeat something that was included in the video/commercial of the TVA Miss Minute showed Loki in the previous episode.

Mobius: For all time.

Ravonna Renslayer: Always.

I wonder if this is actually meant to be the TVA catchphrase.

Anyway Mobius leaves Renslayer and we see Loki is out of the room, nervous, waiting for him. He seems quite satisfied when Mobius says they’ve got permission.

Mobius is still all excited… and make a vague promise that amounts to… basically nothing, to Loki.

Mobius: I'm tellin' you. You actually help us catch this Variant, and who knows, my friend.

Loki: What, good enough for a face-to-face with the Time-Keepers?

Mobius: I didn't say that. One step at a time.

Loki: All right. One step at a time.

He actually promises nothing to him, because, as he said, he said nothing. ‘Who knows’ can mean anything, even that after they catch the Variant they’ll prune him, or they’ll merely allow him to live at the TVA, forcing him to work for them. Who knows what ‘who knows’ mean!

Loki tries to have some more solid confirmation and basically gets nothing, which is not very promising.

As far as I’m involved I think Mobius is doing this promise more because he’s trying to keep Loki loyal than because he has something solid to offer to him. In fact he hadn’t bargained with Renslayer for this. Loki is there to catch the Variant, catching the Variant would end their need to use Loki but, as soon as Mobius got permission for the mission he left without insuring if they were to succeed he could keep him.

Does Loki really want to meet the Time-Keepers? What he aims to get from them?

Anyway Mobius is so excited he tries to give knives to Loki.

Enters Hunter B-15, who strongly despise Loki who takes them away from him (I wonder if Loki managed to steal them back unknown to her. I would love if he did). She briefs her men for the mission, which also allows us viewers to get some info and orders them to prune Loki at sight. Clearly she doesn’t even believe in putting him to that mock trials the TVA offers to its captive Variants.

Loki makes present they should preferably prune the bad Loki, not him and then the scene moves to Haven Hills and I love how this time they had introduced it not by writing it on the screen but by showing us a sign saying we’re in Haven Hills, Alabama… before having it destroyed.

I really love this scene.

The TVA arrives at Roxxcart and they’ve the good sense to open their Timedoors outside of it.

It’s interesting how Loki looks up at the storming sky. I wonder if he’s searching for thunders (we saw one hitting the ground before the TVA appeared) as a way to check if Thor is around, even though it’s clear Thor wouldn’t cause such destruction.

To Hunter B-15’s surprise Loki uses his magic to dry up, which somehow seems to make her even more suspicious of him. Because yeah, drying yourself is such a sinister act.

Mobius would like to go with Loki at the Green House but Hunter B-15 forbids it, wanting to part them. Mobius has to go with Hunter D-90 while Loki has to stay with her.

And I’ve the personal suspicion that’s because she hopes in a not to obvious chance to prune him too away from Mobius’ eyes.

B-15 tells Mobius if he’s not fine with it, he can go argue with Renslayer about it.

It’s interesting how they’re arguing. I wonder if Hunters and Analysts actually form two different and opposite classes in TVA who argue against each other despite a poster depicting them as working together.

Anyway Loki gets in between and tells Mobius it’s fine, that he can trust him and that he’ll understand trust has to be gained so he’ll gain it.

Honestly the way Loki puts it makes him even more suspicious for me, but I wonder if the key is it has to work for B-15.

Mobius complains about how is always the people you can’t trust that tell you ‘trust me’. Well, the people you trust wouldn’t need to ask you your trust so they won’t tell it to you.

Mobius though at this surrender as well, he’s so excited to get the Variant he doesn’t consider he could ask to stay with B-15 as well, or that he could say B-15 is asking this because she wants to try to harm Loki. He just let the issue go after a jab about how the past time B-15 ended up wearing the Time Collar.

Meanwhile the Loki Variant has noticed they’re in thanks to all the cameras in the place, as if they were waiting for the TVA. Again I wonder if the Loki Variant has someone supporting them in the TVA because they seem to know too much, later they’ll even show knowing the other Loki was brought in by the TVA to capture them.

We see the Loki Variant leaving down a tempad on which there’s a countdown that’s at 20 minutes.

Back to Loki he’s in the greenhouse with B-15, trying to chat with her… which could be a genuine attempt at communication or an attempt at warning the Variant they’re there. I’m not sure on which side Loki is… but I wonder if his goal is to stall things.

He might suspect if they get the Variant he’ll be disposed off so his aim might be to show he’s useful but also to stall the capture of the Variant. This might be what he was trying to do in the previous mission as well. So it’s not exactly he’s trying to help the Variant, he’s trying to gain time for himself.

B-15 doesn’t feel like talking with him but then they find a guy who claims to be shopping for plants despite the hurricane.

B-15 asks Loki if the guy could be him and Loki points out he ‘probably would have worn a suit, but, yes, maybe’, hinting at how Loki cares about how he looks.

B-15 gets too close to the guy who manages to grab her. We see some green magic pass to B-15 and then the guy faints. Loki asks if he’s dead but ‘B-15’ tells him ‘they usually survive’, making clear she’s no more B-15 but the Variant possessing her, who also recognizes Loki for who he is:

“So, you're the fool the TVA brought in to hunt me down.”

As I said this sentence gives me the feeling the Variant knew the TVA brought him someone to hunt them, in short they’ve inside intel about the TVA and I would love to know how.

Now possessing B-15 is a good move as she’s a good fighter with a weapon in her hands and this also leaves Loki on her own.

Loki recognizes the speaker for what they are, the Loki Variant possessing B-15, in short himself.

The Variant points out:

“Please. If anyone's anyone, you're me.”

Implying the Variant saw themselves as the better/original Loki version.

Wunmi Mosaku does a good work at playing the Loki Variant here, really.

Back in the shelter people is clearly in deep distress and a guy thinks the TVA is there to help them.

I think Mobius is torn, a side of him would just search for the Variant, the other is being affected by the situation but he tries to suppress it.

D-90 instead doesn’t care and pushes the man away as if he didn’t even exist. Which he doesn’t for him.

Mobius: What are you doing? Hey! These people are scared.

Hunter D-90: They're about to die. They should be scared.

Mobius: Okay. Not of us.

Even though those people aren’t Variants as they’re going to die the TVA doesn’t acknowledge them right. Like the Loki Variant they don’t care what they do because everything will be erased, either by a reset charge or by the apocalypse.

Mobius doesn’t like this… but again it’s not like he’s trying to save those people, he’ll let them die because the Time-Keepers dictate so.

Hunters in the TVA are somehow all jerks. Again they would work well as stand in for police brutality but I don’t know if the series wants to go this way.

Mobius and D-90 are interrupted when a Minuteman informs them they had found a tied C-20 who’s in state of shock and repeating over and over ‘it’s real’.

So C-20’s role isn’t to be a bait, I think it’s possible the Variant wants to use her to deliver a message to the TVA.

Back to Loki he comments on the spell used.

“Enchantment is a clever trick. Cowardly, a bit amateur-ish, but clever.”

The fact enchantment was used seems to be a nod to how the Variant might be Sylvie Lushton, who also went under the alias of enchantress.

In the comics Sylvie is not the original enchantress, that one was Amora, sister of Lorelei who appeared in “Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.”. Sylvie was supposedly a human created by Loki who also gave her her magical powers.  Although she has no training she has amazing magical powers and moved from wanting to be an Avenger to trying to become a Villain.

We’ll see what this Variant will turn out to be.

Anyway the Variant blames Loki of being the coward one because he works for the TVA. She mocks this asking him if he really believes that, which he confirms so she dismisses him:

Hunter B-15 (possessed): ( The variant chuckles ) And here I was worried that they'd found a better version of me.

And this again seems to imply the Variant KNEW the TVA got themselves a Loki but who told them? They just discovered it at the fair?

A person, Randy, appear and B-15 touches him then faint. Loki almost hurries to help her before realizing what had happened.

Well, the Variant could have disintegrate Randy instead she preferred to transfer themselves into him. This is interesting because it seems although they’ve no hesitation in killing TVA people they’re against harming normal people.

Loki still go to check B-15… or can it be he placed something in one of her pockets? Like a message for Mobius? Loki touches his jacket before bending down on B-15 and this time we don’t see what he touches as she’s cut off the screen which is odd.

The Variant thinks he’s trying to search a transmitting device to call the others for help. Loki tails the Variant, challenging them to face him and then explaining how he had gained the TVA confidence.

The Variant is not that much impressed but they continue to give Loki their back. Not that it matter as that back isn’t really the Variant’s back.

Loki explains his plan… which I don’t know if it’s really his plan or a trick.

Loki: I'm going to overthrow the Time-Keepers. And, uh, cards on the table, I could use a qualified lieutenant.

It’s relevant how Loki, talking with the Variant, uses a more polite and Asgard like language.

The Variant is clearly not interested in working for Loki but what hits me is that they don’t want to be called ‘Loki’ which could be because they aren’t Loki after all.

Loki: What say you... Loki?

Randy (possessed): Ugh. Don't call me that. You can call me... Randy.

I love how this meeting helps Loki to realize why Thor found these techniques annoying.

Loki: God. Now I understand why Thor found this so annoying.

Loki claims he has helped the Variant at the fair so yes, apparently he has played that risky bet back then for a reason. I really would love to know which game Loki is playing.

Loki: Listen. Enough with your games. I've been trying to help you. I kept them vulnerable at the Renaissance Fair for some time.

The Variant still isn’t interested in joining him as they don’t care about ruling the TVA.

We see that there are Time charges placed all around, partially hidden from sight which don’t promise anything good and someone, likely the Variant, is tweaking with them while ‘Randy’ keeps Loki distracted. So yes, this Variant too is good at stalling.

C-20 is still babbling, while Mobius tries to get something out of her.

D-90 just waves her off saying she’s off the dial and showing a worrying lack of a care for a companion.

Although C-20 says she wants to go home when Mobius offers to send them back she says she can’t as she gave away the position of the Time-Keepers.

Oh, so C-20 knew it? Did she, differently from Mobius met them?

D-90 tries to contact B-15 causing her to wake up.

Loki tries to get what the Variant wants but the Variant refuses to explain themselves saying Loki is too late. Loki counters he’s ahead as he found the Variant’s hiding place, then notices the Time charges and thinks the Variant lead them there to blow the place up.

As he turns his gaze Randy has disappeared and the Variant has possessed a big guy who starts beating Loki. Loki is not really fighting back. Are possessed people really so powerful or Loki is trying to pass himself for weak?

Anyway, after pointing out:

Loki: I would never treat me like this.

Which might be our clue the Variant isn’t really a Loki but someone pretending to be one, Loki starts more actively to try to avoid blows and even use his magic to get something he can use as shield.

The Variant’s language is nowhere near as polite as Loki and the possessed guy manages to send Loki on the ground. The idea of a toy dachshund bumping against him is cute.

B-15 manages to find Mobius and she’s forced to confess she lost Loki. Likely she thinks it’s due to Loki but doesn’t know how to explain it while D-90 just says  Mobius’ favourite Loki betrayed him as they run to search for him.

The possessed guy is using another tempad connecting it to another mechanism. Although Loki couldn’t move he hadn’t tried to kill him and now Loki wakes up and demands to know what the Variants wants from him and what is this about. He’s clearly angry.

The possessed guy stands up and then tells him to brace himself before fainting, a sign the Variant isn’t possessing him anymore.

A recording keeps on repeating Loki’s last two sentences ‘What do you want from me? What is this about?’.

I’m not sure why the Variant would record those two sentences and play them over unless we’re to assume they’re actually only playing in Loki’s head.

The Variant appears, removes their hood to reveal it hid a blond woman face then in an unfriendly tone she states:

“This isn't about you.”

Loki’s surprise lasts only few seconds before he says ‘right’.

Meanwhile the countdown has reached 0, the light shot down, the time charges, tons of them, turn on but then below them timedoors appear, sending them away.

Mobius notices what’s going on and worries about where the Time charges are going.

Back at the TVA we assist to the sudden formation of LOTS of branches. The Analysts come to the conclusion someone ‘bombed’ the Sacred Timeline.

Renslayer, who has a hunter helmet that starts with A-25… which might mean she was one of the first hunters of the place, grabs her weapon as Minuteman spun to action.

Loki sees the Variant grabbing the Tempad again and using it to open a human size timedoor as she watches him. She waves at him the way he did at the Hulk when he went on the lift and goes through the Timedoor. Loki considers following but stalls for a moment. Mobius is running there, telling him to wait. Loki sees him but decides to go through the timedoor anyway and, as he does the timedoor disappears, leaving Mobius and the hunters outside.

The episode ends here.

People had been wondering what was Loki thinking when he went through the Timedoor and Tom Hiddleston explained it in an interview:

There's a very big moment at the end where Loki steps through that portal. From your perspective what is going through Loki's mind when he looks back at Mobius and then decides to go through the door anyway? Is he feeling any remorse there at all?

I think certainly there's conflict. I think he… you know, Mobius is someone who, perhaps for the first time in his life, he thinks he might be able to trust, and perhaps trusts him, and he doesn't want to betray that trust, but at the same time he has to go and see what that's what's going on, he has to do that. I think it was he can't help himself but follow… uh… because it's too strange and to, you know, provoke so much curiosity within him. So there is a huge conflict there, he thinks “I probably shouldn't do this, maybe there can be repercussions down the line, but I have to see what that's about”. ['Loki' - Tom Hiddleston & Owen Wilson Talk Ep 2 Twist! _ TVLine Interview]

Now this might be not the full truth because Tom might have been forced to withhold information in order not to give away the plot of future episodes but it’s worth considering it.

Undoubtedly following the other Loki is a risk. It’s clear the other is challenging him to follow… and he knows next to nothing about the other Loki so, if the TVA is bad for him, the other Loki could be worse and he might be trading a bad place for a pure hell. Who says the other Loki doesn’t work for Thanos for example?

In the TVA he has Mobius as some sort of interested ally, with the other Loki he has no one. You know, "Better the devil you know than the devil you don't know". At the same time it makes sense he wants to try following the other Loki because he’s not the type to stagnate and remain there. He has to see, he has to try. Where Mobius wouldn’t risk, Loki does. I hope for him the bet will be worth it.

Last but not least it’s worth to mention in the ending theme they’ve replaced two photos of Loki with one of the Loki Variant and another with just a different image of Loki with the TVA jacket.

So anyway we’ve gotten to the end of it. I still wonder if the Loki Variant as an insider in the TVA passing her info and if she’s really a Loki or she just pretends to be. How she came to make all this big plan? Why she had looked like she wanted Loki to tail her?

We’ll see.

[bucksblr]

thank you for the tag jasmin @cloudylotus ! ^-^

i’ll tag whoever feels like doing this <3

name: em

pronouns: them/her

star sign: capricorn

height: 179cm

time: 15:04

birthday: january 10th

nationality: belgian

fave bands/groups: stray kids!! but i listen to a lot of different artists

fave solo artists: woodz <3

song stuck in your head: under pressure by queen bc i’ve been listening to the bohemian rhapsody movie soundtrack hehe

last movie you watched: cloudy with a chance of meatballs, i’ve been revisiting my childhood by rewatching all the animated movies they suddenly threw onto netflix!! i rewatched all of shrek, puss in boots, how to train your dragon, now also cloudy with a chance of meatballs, and next on the list is spirit!

last show you binged: currently trying to binge woh but uni isn’t allowing me to do so >:(

when you created your blog: on my sister’s birthday in 2014 😆

the last thing you googled: “what are cities doing to make use of vacant buildings” it’s for my paper!

other blogs: i have two sideblogs, one for kpop which is @minhho and one for anime which is @joerry :D

why i chose my url: mxtx lied when she said all side characters in tgcf are straight i just know it because fengqing are actually married with kids (fu yao & nan feng) thank you for coming to my ted talk 😌

how many people are you following: *whispers* ¹⁴⁵ ᵇˡᵒᵍˢ

how many followers do you have: i just reached 3.9k yesterday!! if i reach 4k i might do a little something hehe

average hours of sleep: it used to be 7-8 hours but lately i’ve been doing revenge bedtime procrastination and i go to bed at around 1:30am but my internal clock (which hates me) always wakes me up at around 7am

lucky numbers: i am like xie lian, luck is never in my favor 😔

instruments: guitar (does one coldplay song on the piano count??)

what i’m currently wearing: flowy flower pants, white striped shirt and a long black sweater

dream job: *mental breakdown* < me too jasmin me too

dream trip: okinawa in japan!! also australia, south africa, canada, and new zealand! these are all the highest on my bucket list

fave food: i do love a good bowl of ramen, but salmon with béarnaise sauce and french fries is *chef’s kiss*

top three fictional universes you’d like to live in:

sk8 the infinity — i would probably have a restraining order from sia la luce and ‘S’ but i can live with that 😌

fake slackers — i would kill to be in class 3 they’re honestly some of the funniest characters i’ve read about

percy jackson —  don’t ask me why i just think it would be neat to be a demigod and i still have my camp half-blood shirt lying around

last song: we are the champions by queen

currently reading: guide at how to fail at online dating but i have not picked it up since....... january........

currently watching: word of honor :D

what is antipoetry to you: don’t ask my single braincell too much questions he is currently under a lot of stress

currently craving: a fruit salad so i’m gonna go make one (also a break from life pls thank you)

[cadetcama]

EJ's Graduation Party Parties

So first, I think EJ would totally have another graduation party planned by his parents. You could say a guilt-trip Graduation party (more like graduation ball) A Last-ditch effort into convincing EJ into taking his spot at Duke, that his father probably bribed for it or otherwise.

they framed it as EJ still deciding where to go next, and keeping his options open.

So a lot of people were on stage telling stories about how awesome Duke is going to be.

But a lot of them were also homophobes

As an act of rebellion, EJ invites Carlos and Seb to the party just to sock it into his parents and their parents' rather homophobic colleagues.

Ashlyn's parents are so supportive that they encourage Ashlyn to take Big Red to the graduation party and a same-sex date too for both her and her partner. (think of Ashlyn bringing Big Red and Nini as her dates, and Big Red brings Ricky)

Gina is EJ's date.

But EJ would dance with Ricky first just to sock it to his parents' colleagues.

(So should I be jealous that my boyfriend had a slow dance with my former crush? - Gina)

(I mean Gina, I have two hands - EJ)

The final nail shovel-full of dirt on top of the buried coffin was the fact that Duke tolerates the homophobic environment.

After that, the REAL graduation party begins.

I think it's going to be organized by Ashlyn and Gina, the roomies.

Ashlyn definitely knows of EJ's favorite foods so she cooks them alongside Gina and Big Red.

They cook it at Slices.

Then for some time, Gina has a separate gift for EJ. They travel to a nearby carnival and just enjoy each other's company.

Leaving Big Red and Ashlyn to cook food.

Ricky arrives at Slices and helps the two organize the things needed to store the food.

Howie and Kourtney arrive to help with cooking.

Howie and Big Red, work on the pizzas

Ashlyn and Kourtney work on EJ's favorite dishes.

They held the party at a pool. A very big pool in a hotel.

The Wildcats and the Leopard athletes pooled in money to make it possible.

(The most spending everyone has had because of how expensive renting a pool from a hotel was.)

(Ashlyn paid most of the cost)

The Wildcats were required to wear a costume that reflects the roles that EJ played before.

I think EJ has played both Beast and Gaston. Beast in the previous production of BatB.

The jocks wore a copy of EJ's jersey shirt for soccer or lacrosse.

Ricky definitely wore a Gaston-inspired outfit (thanks Kourtney) without the makeup.

Nini wore a Beast-inspired costume.

Big Red and Ashlyn simply wore Shrek-inspired outfits and so on.

After mocking EJ's graduation ball, everyone slow dancing with the same-gendered partners.

The performance part begins.

It actually begins with both Nini and Gina singing a rendition of Billion Sorrys, (but the lyrics are heavily changed from sorry to thank you and a dance break was definitely added)

Big Red and Ricky sing and dance to I don't dance.

Carlos and Seb sang a duet to the song Home is Where the Horse is. Face My Fears with Seb doing the Piano

The Wildcats have a dance number to Get'cha Head in the Game and Bop to the Top mashup

The performance bit ends with Gina signing Can I have this dance, with everyone slow dancing to their respective significant others.

EJ joins in on the singing of the song, and it turns into a duet.

Everyone stopped as Ej and Gina themselves slow danced together.

Then the party goes on with pool games.

Ok there is a lot of great stuff here... here are some assorted thoughts:

Firstly, damn, anon, the parent party for EJ... have you been looking in my WIPs at the final installment of meals n feels??

But EJ would dance with Ricky first just to sock it to his parents' colleagues.

that moment when a dance suddenly has FOUR left feet and all the dancers in the room are forced to watch

(So should I be jealous that my boyfriend had a slow dance with my former crush? - Gina)

(I mean Gina, I have two hands - EJ)

He does. He DOES have two hands

Then for some time, Gina has a separate gift for EJ. They travel to a nearby carnival and just enjoy each other's company.

EJ tries SO HARD to win Gina a prize but can't. And Gina wins EJ a stuffed animal on her first try

Ricky definitely wore a Gaston-inspired outfit (thanks Kourtney) without the makeup.

You say without the makeup, but I'm imagining it with the makeup

Nini wore a Beast-inspired costume.

fitting

Big Red and Ashlyn simply wore Shrek-inspired outfits and so on

Okay but Big Red and Ashlyn as Shrek and Fiona is incredible

The Wildcats have a dance number to Get'cha Head in the Game and Bop to the Top mashup

This just made me think of the choosical challenge when they had to sing Start of Something New to the tune of Getcha Head in the Game

Then the party goes on with pool games.

If EJ doesn't make them sing All For One before they can get into the pool, is he even a HSM fan???

[axwalker]

Tears in heaven 7: Grief

Synopsis: Alexis O’Brien is about to get married but memories of her old life are coming back to haunt her.

Pairings: Liam x MC Drake x MC (TRR)

Warnings:   This is an 18+ blog.

IN THIS CHAPTER: CAR ACCIDENT, DEATH OF A CHILD, GRIEVING PARENTS.

 if you’re triggered by any of these issues, PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS STORY

To catch up: Masterlist

A/N: The story will go back and forth between two different periods of time (2015-2019) 

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Pixelberry.

Songs inspiration: Tears in heaven by Eric Clapton

Thanks to @burnsoslow for so so so much. Not only she corrected my several English mistakes but she helped me with her feedback, and with Alexis’s letter and the horrible phone call she receives.I LOVE YOU  ❤️

Thank you @pedudley for beta reading, for ALL the feedback and for listening to my incessant whining while I was writing this chapter. I LOVE YOU  ❤️

November 2014 – November 2018

That Saturday had started like many others before. Drake woke up early to the sight of Alexis’s soft, bare skin next to him. He leaned over to pepper her back with lusty kisses. They were going to be apart the whole weekend, and Drake wanted to show his beautiful wife just how much he was going to miss her. Alexis woke up smiling and enjoying the jolts of pleasure that his ministrations always produced. Unfortunately, they both heard the voice calling them from the next room, suddenly interrupting their morning plans. Drake chuckled, resigned, as Alexis put on his Rolling Stones T-shirt. Twenty seconds later, Drake brought a sleepy Tom to the room with a book in his hands.

“C’mere, little man.” Drake placed him next to Alexis in their bed. Tom snuggled against his mother and gave her his favorite book as he did every Saturday morning. “I’ll go make us breakfast, Lexie,” he said and left for the kitchen after placing soft kisses on Tom’s and Alexis’ heads.

“Let’s see what you have this morning, Peanut.” She read the title out loud: “The Very Hungry Caterpillar. You really like this one, don’t you, hon?”

Tom nodded vigorously.  Alexis giggled and started reading as her son ran his little fingers over the drawings of the book.

When their reading was over, Alexis took Tom to his room. She went to the drawers to pick out his clothes.

“So, Shrek or Cars, Peanut?” she asked as she pulled out two different T-shirts from the top drawer.

“Shek!” Tom yelled excited.

“‘Shek’ it is, then,” she said, winking at him.

After a few minutes of chasing Tom around the room because he refused to wear his pants, they came down to the kitchen.

Drake chuckled at the sight of Tom wearing his green Shrek T-shirt with yellow pants and the cowboy boots Bianca had sent from Texas. His mother didn’t even know Tom. Those boots were the only gift she had sent him in three years, but Tom loved them.

“Bold choice of outfit, little man. Uncle Max will be proud.”

Alexis giggled. “He refused to wear anything else,” she said, placing Tom in his chair. “I can believe I have to work on a Saturday. I’m going to miss you two so much.” She pouted.

Drake was going with Tom to Ramsford for Savannah’s birthday. Alexis had gotten a job as the assistant to a renowned literary agent. She loved it, but it meant that she had to leave with her boss for the weekend to Portavira’s Book Fair.

Drake cupped her face before speaking. “You’re killing me with that sad little face. The weekend will be over before you know it. Tomorrow night we will be here waiting here for you, and we’ll have dinner ready. Do you want to cook with Dad, Peanut?”

Tom clapped with the spoon still in his hand, splashing strawberry yogurt all over the kitchen. “We make cake for Mommy!”

She took a kitchen towel and cleaned the mess, smiling at Tom’s vitality. “Well, if a delicious chocolate cake will be here waiting for me, I’ll be very motivated to come back as fast as possible.”

“I hope you’ll be motivated by more than cake, Lexie,” Drake said teasingly as he served them the food; he had prepared his Saturday special: Belgian waffles with Nutella and fresh bananas.

Alexis gave him a sultry kiss and whispered in his ear, “Finishing what you started this morning is definitely motivation number one.”  

Drake blushed. God, she loved him so much it hurt. “You look cute blushing, Mr. Walker.”

He chuckled. “I love you, Mrs. Walker.”

They ate and talked until Alexis’s phone beeped with a message. “Fuck, Drake! It’s Charlie; her car is picking me up in less than 10 minutes.”

Drake smirked. “A dollar in the jar, baby. And I’d like to remind you that you’re losing,” he added smugly.

Alexis stuck her tongue out at him, making Tom laugh. She took a bill out of her wallet and put it in the jar they had placed in the kitchen. They were both trying to stop swearing in front of Tom. Surprisingly enough, Drake was much better at it than she was.

After fetching her bag and coat, she sat on her husband’s lap, looping her arms around his neck. “I have to go -- please take care of our baby. I’m going to miss you two like crazy.”

He gave her a small peck on her nose. “Me too, Lexie, and don’t worry. We’ll see each other tomorrow night. Right, little man? Are you ready to have an adventure with your dad?”

“Yes, an aventure!” Tom exclaimed, beaming and making his parents laugh.

After saying goodbye to Drake with a deep kiss, Alexis took Tom out of his chair and bounced him around, making him giggle. “You behave, Peanut. I will be thinking about you,” she said, rubbing his stomach. “I love you so, so much, my baby.”

Tom placed his small hands on her face. “Me too, Mommy.” Her heart tugged when she put her little boy back in his chair. She was having more trouble than usual saying goodbye.

Drake smiled at the scene. He scooped Tom up into his arms, and they went to the door to wave Alexis goodbye as her car drove away.

Alexis worked hard that day; Charlie was a great but demanding boss. That night, she went to bed with The Goldfinch, Donna Tart’s latest novel. Tart was one of her favorite authors, but she was unable to focus on the story. Alexis finally closed the book and unplugged her phone. Scrolling through The Cordonian Times News website, she saw that a huge storm was about to hit Ramsford. She decided to call Drake.

“Hi, baby. How was the Fair?” he asked.

“Great! You know Charlie. She’s a shark. Three new writers will be signing their contracts next week.” She toyed with her ring before adding, “I just saw that it was rainy as hell in Ramsford.”

“Yeah, the storm is pretty shitty, but I’m a good driver, Lexie. Don’t worry.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay at Ramsford tonight? It’s safer. Please?” she insisted.

“Yes, I’m sure. But please don’t worry, baby. I’ll be careful,” he answered, smiling. She worried too much about them.

Alexis knew better than to insist; Drake was even more stubborn than her. “Fine. Is our Peanut having fun? Did you take pictures?”

“Yes, lots of pictures. I’ll send them when we hang up. He’s napping now, but Max and Liam played with him all afternoon. I swear, I don’t know which of the three of them was having more fun.” Alexis giggled, making Drake terribly nostalgic. “I miss you so much, baby. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.”

Alexis looked at the picture of them that she kept in her wallet. “Me too, Drake. And I’m glad that Tom is having so much fun. Tell him I love him with all my heart. I’m sorry he’s napping; I was hoping to talk to him.” She sighed, before adding, with a hint of worry in her voice, “Drake, please be careful. Don’t leave Ramsford if it’s raining too much.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll call you when we get there. I love you like crazy, Lexie.”  

“I love you like crazy too, Drake. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.” Both of them hung up the phone smiling.

Drake looked out the window. The storm had calmed down, but it was still raining. He decided to leave anyway; he was a good driver, and the cabin wasn’t far from Ramsford.

He secured Tom in his car seat and left.

They had been on the road for half an hour when Drake took a sharp curve. It happened in a matter of seconds: The wet road caused the Jeep’s tires to slide; Drake reacted fast and was able to regain control of his car.

But the car behind Drake’s didn’t react so quickly. The gray sedan crashed into Drake’s Jeep on the right side ... where Tom was sleeping.

Alexis had fallen asleep with her phone in her hand. She woke up and checked the time: 11:30.

That was weird; Drake should have called her by now. Alexis called Drake, but it went straight to voicemail.

An uneasy feeling took over. She called Savannah, who told her that Drake had left Ramsford around 9:30. She suggested that maybe they had arrived at the cabin and fallen asleep. Alexis thanked her and hung up. She knew Drake by heart -- he would never go to sleep without calling her first. She opened a bottle of water trying to calm herself. She was surely overreacting.

Suddenly, her phone rang, startling her: an unknown number. Alexis took a sharp breath before answering the call that would change her life.

“Hello?”

“Good evening. Am I speaking with Alexis Walker?”

“Yes, this is she.” Ice settled in her stomach.

“Mrs. Walker, this is Lynn from Ramsford Hospital. Your husband and son were involved in a car accident tonight. Are you able to come right now?”

Alexis couldn’t speak, couldn’t breathe. “Hello?” She swallowed. “Yes. I’ll be there. Are -- are they safe?” “Your little boy is in surgery. Your husband is being checked by a doctor. We’ll have more information when you arrive, Mrs. Walker.”

“Th-thank you.”

But the woman had already hung up.

Charlie insisted that Alexis take her car and driver. Alexis accepted and left immediately.  The questions and uncertainty were killing her. During the torturous four-hour drive, she didn’t stop bargaining. If they’re okay, I will never complain again. I promise, God, I’ll never take them for granted. If you let them live, I’ll come to church every Sunday. Every day. I swear. Please, God, just let them be fine. Please, I beg you.

Alexis arrived at Ramsford Hospital around 4:00. She had practically jumped out of the car and run to the reception desk. She saw Maxwell and Liam sitting in the waiting room.

“Where are they? How are they?” Alexis realized how hysterical she sounded, but she didn’t care.

“Blossom! Thank God you’re here! Drake is fine; he suffered a small concussion and some bruises, but he’ll be fine.”

Alexis nodded, terrified of asking about Tom. Maxwell took a sharp breath before speaking. “Tom has been in surgery for a few hours ... the doctor will come out with an update soon.”

She nodded again, feeling a sudden need to see Drake. “Take me to Drake, Max. Please. I need to make sure he’s fine.”

Drake was sitting on a bed in the ER with Savannah. His eyes were red and puffy. He had scratches and bruises all over his face and arms, and a doctor had patched up his head with a bandage.

Alexis ran to him, intensely relieved to confirm that he was okay. Drake stood up and hugged her tightly, his eyes tearing up again. Alexis had never seen her usually-confident husband in such a state of desperation. It scared her to death.

“I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry. He has been in surgery for hours.” His voice broke. “They won’t tell me what’s going on!”

Drake wrapped his arms around her; she sobbed against his chest for a long time, waiting for the doctor to come. After a few more hours, the surgeon and a young nurse entered the ER. Drake was facing the door, so he saw them before her. His heart stopped.

The doctor’s expression told him everything he needed to know.

Drake held Alexis tighter, trying to shield her with his arms for a few more seconds from the pain they were about to experience.

The doctor cleared his throat. Alexis turned her head, trembling, unable to breathe. He took his cap off and held it in his hand.

“I’m very sorry. We did everything we could, but-”

Alexis shook her head. “No, no, no, no!” She didn’t realize she was screaming. “Don’t say it! No! It's a mistake.” She turned to Drake, crying hysterically. “Drake, please tell me that Tom is ok. Please, my love. I beg you.”

Drake held her, but he was shaking himself; he felt his heart actually breaking. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry,” he said, crying. He was trying to calm Alexis, but his words had the opposite effect. She bawled desperately. Her heart seemed to pound even faster, even harder. She tried taking a deep breath to calm herself, but her breaths were sharp and shallow. Her vision got darker and narrower.  She heard Drake’s panicked voice as if he was talking to her from a long distance. She barely felt a nurse injecting a sedative into her arm … and then everything went dark.

Alexis woke up, and for a few seconds she didn’t remember. But when she opened her eyes, the sight of the fluorescent light in the ceiling brought everything back. Her heart broke all over again as it would break so many times in the future. Drake was sitting on a chair next to her. He hadn’t slept all night as his eyes stared at his phone, looking at Tom’s last pictures. He heard Alexis moving on the bed, so he went to sit next to her and took her in his arms. She hid in his chest and cried again while he soothed her, rubbing her face with his fingers. Alexis couldn’t believe that she would never see her little boy again. It simply couldn’t be true.

“I want to see him.” Her voice was trembling.

“They were waiting for you before … before taking him. Let’s go.” He helped her out of bed and called a nurse who took them to see Tom one last time.  

Those last moments with their son were the saddest moments of Alexis’ and Drake’s lives. Alexis refused to let go of him until a nurse gave her another sedative.

Alexis spent the first four weeks after Tom’s death sedated. She went to his funeral, but she wasn’t really present. Drake took care of everything with Savannah's and Liam’s help. After the ceremony, she went back to bed and lay there for hours staring at the ceiling. The pills had the side effect of making her feel empty and numb, but at least the pain in her heart was silent. Drake fed her and took care of her during that time.

After Tom’s death, nothing seemed to matter anymore. Drake’s emotions were a mix of sorrow, emptiness and desperation. The “what if”s were going to make him crazy with guilt. He tried to use alcohol to drown his shame and grief, but it didn’t work. Nothing worked.

Five weeks after Tom’s death, Alexis heard a noise in the middle of the night. She got out of bed and found Drake crying in Tom’s room. Her heart tugged seeing him so broken. She sat on the floor next to him and hugged him. They held each other for hours, crying for their son.

From that day on, Alexis started to get out of bed. She stopped taking the sedatives and promised herself that she would try to fight for herself and Drake. It worked for a couple of days, but soon the mere effort of waking up in the morning was exhausting. Everything was exhausting. Alexis did it anyway. She’d wake up, take a shower and go to Tom’s room. She only meant to spend a couple of hours there, but once she went inside, she wasn’t able to leave. And more often than not, the whole day passed with her crying there, incapable of doing anything else.

Drake was destroyed too. Tom had been the light of his life. Sometimes he felt like a sunken ship.  

During the second month after his death, they shared some afternoons where they’d cuddled against each other in front of the fire without speaking, just trying to cope with the deep pain. Those few stolen moments were Drake’s and Alexis’ solace. But they were unable to really communicate, to speak of the bubbling feelings beneath the surface.

Without the pills, Alexis’ mind wasn’t foggy anymore. She felt a deep, breaking pain in her heart and a colossal rage circulating through her veins. At first, her bitterness was directed at God, at life, at fate. But soon, Alexis started to be angry at Drake, too. She tried with all her heart to stop those feelings, but she couldn’t. Drake had chosen to drive in the middle of the storm, after she had asked him to stay in Ramsford. And that had cost her son his life.

Alexis didn’t want to hurt him or to add to his guilt, so she started to avoid him as much as possible. It didn’t work. Drake’s way to cope with his own grief was to take care of her. He truly believed that their love would be enough to keep them together, and for a fleeting moment, Alexis had believed it too.

The rage that Alexis felt for him began as a small spark, but it had soon turned into a burning fire that scared her. She was distant and cold and did everything she could to drive him away.

Drake tried his best to make her feel better. He had even suggested visiting a counselor or joining a grief group. The same Drake Walker who hated to share or talk about his feelings was willing to do it for her. They went once, and it was a disaster. Drake had tried to share a memory of Tom, but the words simply didn’t come out. Alexis had brooded and scowled the whole time.

Alexis felt like she was going to explode with all the emotions she was feeling. She became rude, evasive. She ended up moving into the guest room. Drake was desperate; he tried to make her understand that he loved her, that he needed her.

It was the three-month anniversary of Tom’s death. After yet another sleepless night, she went to Tom’s room. She lay in his tiny bed and cried all day. Drake tried to comfort her, to hold her. But she had chased him away, more haunted than ever by his brown eyes. That night, she had come down to the living room and saw Drake drinking. Alexis sat next to him and poured herself a big glass of whiskey. She gulped it, poured herself another one and gulped it, too.

“I can’t do this anymore, Drake.” Alexis was crying wholeheartedly.

Drake sighed as he looked at her. She had lost 10 pounds and looked tired, pale, extremely depressed. It was the first time since they had met that he didn’t dare take her into his arms. “We need to get help, Lexie.”

Alexis scoffed, “Do you mean like that amazing support group you signed us for?”

For three months, Drake had tried to be supportive and patient. But he felt lost and tired;he didn’t know what to do anymore.

He gulped his tumbler of whiskey before he answered, “I’m doing what I can to help you, Lexie. But you won’t let me. I want us to fight this together.”

Alexis balled her fists. All the feelings that had been accumulating for the last months were threatening to explode.

“I don’t need anyone’s help.” She felt like burning inside. “Especially not yours.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Alexis?” Drake stood up next to her.  

When she finally answered, her voice was trembling with fury. “Why?”

“What do you mean?” Drake asked, puzzled.

Alexis’s eyes filled with tears. “Why did you have to come back that night? Why couldn’t you listen to me? I told you it was raining, I told you it wasn’t safe.” Something dark and dangerous had taken over her, and she couldn’t stop. “But no. You always have to be right, so you couldn’t do what I asked. And now he’s dead. MY SON IS DEAD because you’re too fucking stubborn.”

Drake raised his voice, too. “OUR son, Alexis. TOM was OUR son. I miss him just as much as you do. Stop acting like you’re the only one who lost him.” He sighed to calm himself. He raised a hand to touch Alexis’ face, but she dodged it. “You have no fucking idea how it feels when I try to get close to you and you reject me every goddamn time.”

Alexis tried to wipe her tears with the back of her hand. She answered, furious, “Can’t you understand that looking at you fucking hurts? Every time I see your eyes, I see him. And it’s driving me crazy. It breaks my heart every single time.” She took a swig of whiskey to calm herself, but it didn’t help. “You can’t help me; you’re actually hurting me.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying. You’re drunk,” Drake stated, pointing at her glass.

“Yes, I am drunk. But that doesn’t change the fact that it hurts so fucking badly, Drake. Why? Why did you do it?” She shoved him.

“Stop!” He grabbed her wrists. He couldn’t believe what she was implying. “Stop it, Alexis!”

She was bawling, agitated. She wanted to take the weight of her emotions off her chest, so she yelled at him without thinking. “You killed him! You killed our son, and I will never be able to forget that.” As soon as she said it, she regretted it. But it was too late.

Everything went silent for a few seconds. Drake’s mouth went dry. His heart stopped. Every time her eyes darted when she looked at him, or every time she flinched when he touched her, he wondered if she blamed him for the accident. But until that moment, he had refused to actually believe it.

Letting go of her wrists, he grabbed the bottle of whiskey and his glass. He spoke with a gravelly voice. “You’re drunk, I’m drunk. We’ll talk in the morning.”

Alexis swallowed her tears so she could talk. “No, Drake. I’m very sorry for what I just said. You have no idea how much, but I can’t do this anymore. I’ll be gone in the morning.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying. We’ll talk tomorrow.” Drake went up the stairs. The weight of her words oppressed him. He lay down on the bed and tried to drink his pain away.

Alexis stood in the middle of the living room hating herself for hurting him. She didn’t want to feel so angry at him, but the rage was stronger than her. She curled up on the couch and cried for a long time -- for her son, for the horrible pain of missing him so much. And for Drake, for the man she loved so desperately but was unable to forgive. Alexis needed to leave, to flee from their house, from the grief. She prepared a small bag with some clothes she had in the guest room. Before leaving, she went to their room where Drake was sleeping heavily after finishing the bottle of whiskey. Crying again, her heart broken, she kissed his forehead and muttered a sad good-bye. She took off her wedding rings and set them on the nightstand. Drake needed to understand that she wasn’t going to come back for a while.

When she arrived at Maxwell’s loft, she took her old sedatives from her bag. Now that Alexis was away from Drake, she didn’t need to fight anymore. She was exhausted from pretending that she wanted to be alive. So she took two pills with a glass of water and finally fell asleep.

For almost two days, thanks to the sedatives, Alexis didn’t do much besides sleeping and waking in a fog to drink a bit of water. She was exhausted after all the sleepless nights she had had since her son had died. Maxwell checked up on her regularly, but he let her rest. On the third day, he entered her room with a steaming cup of coffee.

“Here, Blossom.”

Alexis grabbed the cup and took a sip. “Thank you, Max.” Her eyes teared up.

Maxwell sat next to her and put his arm around her shoulder. “What happened with Drake, Blossom?” he asked, concerned.

“It was my fault. I’m so angry all the time, Max.” She wrapped her arms around herself. “I tried not to be -- I really did -- but that night, something snapped. I said horrible things to him. And the worst part is that I love him so much, but I can’t stop feeling like that.” Her lip quivered. “I didn’t want to hurt him like I did. I swear, Max. He looked so broken.” The memory made her cry again.

“Calm down, Blossom. You need to talk to him. Even if it’s a painful conversation, you need to talk. Drake has called several times since yesterday; he’s worried about you. I’ll take you back to the cabin.”

Alexis was utterly confused. She didn’t know if their relationship could be saved. She didn’t know if she would be able to overcome her bitterness. But she still loved him with everything in her, and she owed it to Drake and herself to at least try.

“Thanks, Max. I’ll take a shower and then we can leave.”

When Alexis arrived at their cabin, everything was silent. With a huge lump in her throat, she went upstairs. Drake was gone. He had taken some clothes, photos, and her wedding rings. Alexis sat in their bed and cried for everything she had lost. The next day, she left the cabin and rented a small studio with her savings. After that day, her grief became more and more difficult to bear.

Drake woke up the morning after the fight feeling dead inside. His desperation only got deeper when he discovered that Alexis had disappeared, leaving her wedding rings on the nightstand. Drake spent all morning trying desperately to find her, until Maxwell finally answered his phone and told him that Alexis was at his house, that she needed time.

During those two days, Drake called Alexis several times, but every time, Maxwell told him that she was sleeping. Drake knew that it was a lie; Alexis barely slept more than a few hours a night. He thought about going to Max’s loft but dismissed the idea. It was pointless to force her.

Her words replayed in his head over and over again. Looking at you fucking hurts. It breaks my heart every single time. You’re actually hurting me. You killed my son. Drake felt the weight of his guilt crushing him

Forty-eight hours later, Alexis hadn’t contacted him or answered his calls. With her wedding rings wrapped in his hand, Drake realized that it was time to accept that she had really left him. He couldn’t stay there. He was going to die if he had to keep living alone in the cabin where they had been so fucking happy. Alexis was everywhere. Tom was everywhere. The next day, he tried to call her one last time, but she didn’t answer. Drake didn’t insist anymore. He left for Spain, destroyed. Before getting on the plane, he called Liam to ask him to take care of Alexis; Drake knew his best friend wouldn’t fail him.

After three hellish months in Andalucía, Olivia had called him to tell him how desperately depressed Alexis was. Drake immediately tried to fly back to Cordonia to be with her, but he had only found tickets for the next morning. That single night changed everything. Drake had been arrested and sent to prison. He asked Bastien and Savannah to keep his secret because he didn’t want to worry Alexis or distract Liam from helping her.

Drake felt desperate knowing that he couldn’t help her himself. Savannah and Bastien visited him often, but no matter how much he insisted, they never talked about Alexis. Drake sensed that they were hiding something, but it wasn’t until his release that his sister had told him the truth: Alexis had been committed to a clinic after she had tried to kill herself.

Drake didn’t lose any time and jumped on the first plane back to Cordonia to be with her. Sick with worry, Drake didn’t even go to his house to leave his bag; he had gone from the airport directly to the clinic.

When Drake had seen Liam at the hospital, he was relieved to confirm that his best friend had kept his promise; Alexis hadn’t been alone. Liam had known nothing about his stay in prison, so Drake wasn’t surprised at his best friend’s cold reception. The only thing that mattered to Drake at that moment was Alexis. Seeing her again had been the only thing that had kept him alive.

Drake would never forgive himself for all those months that Alexis had been forced to fight her depression alone, without him there to help her. If she gave him another chance, Drake would spend the rest of his life showing her how much he regretted it, how much he loved her.

Liam had asked him to come back the next day. Apparently, Alexis needed time to get used to the idea of seeing him again. Drake accepted willingly. He was desperate to see Alexis, but her recovery was the absolute priority.

But the next day, things didn’t go as he had hoped.

“You left a broken woman, Drake. She has been in hell, depressed and missing you for months. You have no right to come back and burst into her life, now that she’s finally doing better.” Liam cleared his throat. “She told me she doesn’t want to see you anymore. I’d say I’m sorry, but frankly, I agree with her decision,” Liam said, taking an envelope from his jacket and giving it to him. “This is the letter she wrote to you before she tried to kill herself. I didn’t read it, but I know she was desperate. Seeing you again will trigger her and probably set her recovery back months.  If you still want to see her after you read this, call me, and I’ll talk to her. But for Alexis’ sake, I really hope you won’t insist anymore.”

Drake sat on a bench and opened the letter.

Drake, my love,

Before anything else, I beg you to forgive me. For all of it: blaming you. The words I said. This.

I blamed you for the accident and I drove you away.

It was never your fault. I knew that all along.

And now? I have nothing. There is nothing without him. I have walked through the last seven months in a fog of desperation, and I can’t do it anymore.  

I don't even want to try.

Please move on. Live your life. Be strong the way I cannot be.

It is what he would have wanted.

I have always loved you, with everything in me.

Your Lexie

Drake sat on the park bench and read her letter several times. It was devastating. Picturing her grief, her pain, in his mind was hard enough. But having to face it, having to read firsthand how broken the love of his life had been, was more than Drake could handle.

In spite of what Alexis said in her letter, Drake knew that Tom’s death was his fault. He was also aware that Liam was lying. Drake was sure that Alexis didn’t know that he was looking for her. But Liam was right; after all she had suffered, nothing was worth jeopardizing her recovery for -- least of all him. Drake hadn’t even gone back to his cabin that night. He went to the cemetery first to visit his son’s grave. Then he left directly for the airport, headed back to Spain.

His first year back in Andalucía had been a nightmare. Until then, Drake had stupidly clung to the idea of seeing Alexis again. She had been his motivation to stop drinking, to get help from the prison counselor. Her face was the last thing he saw before falling asleep every night. After all that hope, Drake had a rough time accepting that he had lost her forever.

For a few months, Drake went back to his old bad behaviors and heavy drinking. But one night, reading her letter for the hundredth time, he realized that Alexis was right. Tom would have wanted him to move on. Drake couldn’t continue to hide behind his grief anymore. He suddenly felt the urge to fight for himself. Little by little, he tried to get better. He couldn’t practice as a veterinarian in Spain, so he took a job in a stable training horses and moved out of Bastien’s house into his own apartment. And most importantly, he stopped day drinking.

Drake knew himself; he was never going to love another woman as he loved Alexis. Some nights, he’d go out, meet a beautiful woman, and they’d have fun together, but it never went further than a good night and breakfast.

One afternoon, he met Yolanda at the stables; she was a veterinarian too. Yola, as her friends called her, was a short brunette with pretty green eyes and a wide smile.

Something about her made him think of Alexis. Yolanda wasn’t as sunny as his Lexie, but she was beautiful, funny and smart. Like Alexis, she seemed to love life, and that was contagious. They dated for a few months, but Drake soon realized that he was only trying to replace Alexis with Yolanda, and that wasn’t fair to her. He ended the relationship before her feelings became too strong and resumed his life of endless one-night stands.

Drake’s life was finally back on track when he had received the news of Alexis and Liam’s engagement. It had been a complete shock. In the past, Drake had suspected that Liam was in love with his wife, but he would never have imagined that Liam’s feelings were reciprocated. Drake was well aware that Alexis had every right to rebuild her life, to fall in love. He knew that it was his own fault that Alexis hadn’t even tried to call him and give him the news herself, but the rage was still there. During the weeks that followed, Drake couldn’t avoid the horrible jealousy that was threatening to eat him up. He kept picturing them together and it drove him mad. Until one day, talking to Savannah, he realized that it was time to let Alexis go.

For three years he had lived as an exile in Andalucía so Alexis wouldn’t have to see him again. But she was clearly over him now. Maybe it was time to come back. Drake missed Savannah and Bartie, his country and his veterinary career. So he decided to stop fleeing. He wanted to see Alexis again and make sure she was all right. After that, they’d sign the divorce papers, and he would finally be able to move on with his life.

However, when he saw Alexis again, all of his good resolutions went out the window. Drake had felt angry and jealous seeing Liam’s diamond ring on her finger. In the weeks that followed that encounter, Drake had felt unstable and confused … until the last day at the coffeehouse.

April 2019

Alexis left the coffeehouse frustrated and angry at herself. She couldn’t believe that Drake’s touch was still capable of making her feel that nervous. She got in her car and started the engine. After all that time and the tears that she had shed trying to forget about him, she had finally done it. And she was not going to go down that path, not ever again. To love someone as passionately and as intensely as she had loved Drake wasn’t right or healthy. It was painful and heartbreaking. His departure had nearly killed her. Alexis was aware that Drake had left because of the hideous things she had told him, but she still had waited for him for years, convinced that their love for each other would make him come back. But it didn’t. And now, she was happy again. Liam made her happy. He was sweet, kind and smart. A great lover. He accepted her shortcomings, her traumas. Alexis couldn’t ask for more. She refused to let Drake disturb her life. Whatever feelings she was having for him again, was surely due to their lack of closure. The only thing that should matter to her now was her engagement to Liam. They were going to get married in a month. Liam deserved nothing less than her fidelity and devotion.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Drake was shaken after his encounter with Alexis at the coffeehouse. Even hours later, he could still feel her skin on the tip of his fingers. He sat with a whiskey in his hand, thinking about her reaction. As stupid as it seemed, he was sure that Alexis had felt the same powerful electricity that he did. They still shared their old chemistry, even when they had fought at Savannah’s party; it had been heated, passionate. He savored the malty liquid burning his throat as he thought about how gorgeous she was. For the first time since he had seen her again, Drake allowed himself to freely think about her -- her beautiful dark eyes, her soft features, the way she flicked her hair. The old sparkle of her eyes was still there; it was hidden behind a shadow of sadness, but it was still there. That afternoon, Drake had had to actively stop himself from kissing her.

There was no point in lying to himself any longer; he was still desperately in love with Alexis, even more than before. Drake admired her new strength, her determination to fight in spite of the pain. He missed her sarcasm, her sense of humor, the way she always put him in his place. He was as captivated by her mix of sweet vulnerability and intense fire as he had been 10 years before. God he had missed her so fucking much all those years. Drake was destined to love Alexis for the rest of his life.

However, the last thing he wanted to do was to disturb her life. So Drake made a decision. If Alexis was truly happy with Liam and her new life, as much as it killed him, he would sign the divorce papers and leave her alone. Even if that meant that he’d have to spend his life loving her from a distance. But if he discovered that she still loved him too but was too scared to admit it -- if there was a chance that he could still save his marriage -- Drake wasn’t going to leave without fighting for her.

PERMATAG:  @ac27dj @twinkle-320​ @kimmiedoo5​ @marshmallowsandfire​ @loveellamae​ @burnsoslow​ @mskaneko​ @pedudley​ @lauzales​ @pug-bitch​

TEARS N HEAVEN: @ao719​ @yukinagato2012​ @kingliam2019​ @forthebrokenheartedthings​ @texaskitten30​ @cordonia-gothqueen​ @bebepac​ @nomadics-stuff​ @hopefulmoonobject​ @cordonianroyalty​ @msjr0119​

[kinktae]

just friends || pt. 3 (M)

The transition from best friends to best friends with benefits is never easy, especially when there’s a daddy kink involved.

Or, "You love to run your mouth, don't you, baby girl?"

pairing: best friend!jungkook x reader

genre: uh best friend AU but really just an excuse for angsty smut

word count: 10k

warnings: smut, dirty talk, spanking, daddy kink sORRY, dom!jungkook, jungkook just being a little shit basically

A/N: this is based on the song Friends by Marshmello.

CHAPTERS: 01 | 02 | 03 (final)

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PART THREE (FINAL)

"How long does this shit take to dry?" Jungkook questioned, referring to the clay mask that you were currently spreading onto his face.

It was a Friday and both you and Jungkook were officially done with finals. You had somehow managed to convince Jungkook into celebrating the achievement by indulging in some self-care with you.

"20 minutes." You replied, trying your hardest not to move your face as you spoke, your own face mask already starting to harden.

"20 minutes?! What the fuck am I meant to do for 20 minutes?" Jungkook exclaimed in annoyance, causing you to roll your eyes. Jungkook had never done a face mask before and the fact that people voluntary engaged in such a time consuming and messy activity blew his mind.

"I don't know, stop moving!" You scolded, grabbing onto the impatient boy's shoulder as if to immobilize him.

Jungkook complied and fell silent, allowing you to finish painting the green mask onto his face.

"This sucks. I could be balls deep in you right now, you know." He eventually spoke, pouting.

Your hand immediately flew up to your mouth as you began to laugh.

"Fuck! Don't make me laugh!" You scolded through a chuckle.

The mud had dried near your mouth, efficiently pulling the skin around it taut.

"There's nothing funny about what I said, Y/N. That was a serious statement." Jungkook deadpanned, looking at you pointedly.

Having had covered Jungkook’s entire face, you wiped your fingers clean on the towel that was spread over Jungkook's lap. Although he agreed to do a face mask with you, he did make it a point to tell you that you would be dead if you dropped even a speck of this mask onto his bed; so naturally, you brought a few towels into his room in order to prevent said homicide.

"I don't get it. Why can't you be 'balls deep' in me right now?" You inquired, tilting your head to the side.

You weren't particularly interested in having sex today; you were exhausted and just wanted to do your face mask and then sleep for 10 hours. You were just curious as to what his response might be.

Jungkook peered at you as he pondered upon your question, your face painted with a bright green layer.

He shrugged, "Shrek just doesn't do it for me, sorry."

You clenched your jaw shut and fought down your smile, nearly bursting out in laughter.

"Dammit!" You cried as you felt your face mask start to crack.

Jungkook laughed at your dismay, his own face mask still wet enough to allow him to do so.

Shaking your head, you crawled around Jungkook, making yourself comfortable and laying down on his bed.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"I’m gonna take a 20-minute nap." You informed him, already shutting your eyes.

“What, no.” He whined in protest.

“Good night.”

“Don’t go to sleep.”

“Sweet dreams.”

"Fuck, but I'm horny, baby girl."

You popped open your eyes to look at your green masked best friend, not missing the way he used your pet name in an effort to sway you.

"Jungkook, what in the fuck do you want me to do? My face is literally frozen in place, I can't exactly blow you."

"Excuses, excuses." He sighed dramatically and you once again brought a hand to still your mouth, Jungkook having become suddenly hilarious now that you weren't allowed to smile.

The familiar sound of your ringtone going off caught your attention. 

“Pass me my phone?” You said, looking at Jungkook expectantly, as he was still sitting by the foot of the bed, where your phone was.

“Lazy ass.” Jungkook scoffed at your lying form but handed over your phone regardless.

You peered at the screen momentarily.

Park Jimin.

You pressed the answer button eagerly.

“Happy end-of-finals day!” You spoke into the phone immediately.

“Happy end-of-finals day.” Jimin’s bright voice chimed back.

“How are you?” You continued, making sure to move your mouth as little as possible, to prevent your mask from cracking.

“Good, good. I’m sore and tired from practicing every day for the past month but I’m pretty sure I killed my dance final.”

You let out an excited squeal. Jimin was a dance major; he was extremely talented and had expressed to you months ago how nervous he was for this final performance.

“Jimin! Congrats, that’s great news! I knew you and Hoseok were going to do amazing.”

Jung Hoseok was Jimin’s friend and dance partner for this particular class. He was a dance major just like Jimin, and you had met him several times. Each time left you with a better impression of him, as Hoseok was extremely outgoing and friendly.

“Yeah– hey, are you drunk?” Jimin asked suddenly, catching you by surprise.

“What? No?” You questioned, confused as to why your friend thought you were intoxicated so early in the afternoon.

“Why are you talking funny then?”

You suddenly remembered that Jimin couldn’t see you and that he wouldn't understand why you were talking without moving your mouth.

“Oh, Kook and I are doing some face masks and I can’t move my face much.”

“What the fuck, don’t expose me like that.” Jungkook popped up suddenly with a scrunch of his nose.

You sent a glare his way.

“Stop moving your face. You’re going to get wrinkles.” You told him in a serious tone.

He blinked in surprise, “Wait, what?”

You turned your attention back to your phone and onto Jimin.

“So, what else is new?” You asked Jimin.

“No wait, what do you mean wrinkles?” Jungkook asked, sounding alarmed.

“Is Jungkook with you?” Jimin inquired, clearly having heard Jungkook’s cries.

“Yeah.” You confirmed with a nod, causing the bun on top of your head to jerk momentarily.

“Y/N.” Jungkook whined out, wanting your attention.

“I’m on the phone, do you mind?” You scolded your best friend.

You were messing with him of course. The worst thing that would come out of Jungkook moving his face would be some slight discomfort but his pretty face had nothing to fear. Not that you planned on telling him that.

Jungkook just sent you a glare before grabbing his phone and proceeding to entertain himself with it.

“Oh perfect. Yeah, so I called you to invite both of you to my family’s beach house actually.” Jimin began cheerfully. You sat up suddenly.

“Woah, what? Seriously?” You could feel yourself start to grow excited. You had been stuck inside for so long, studying becoming your number one priority. The idea of getting to lay out under the sun thrilled you.

“Yeah! Next weekend, if you’re not busy. The idea is to have a bunch of us spent a couple of days there, have fun at the beach, drink a lot of booze, all that good stuff. Are you guys down?”

“Hell yeah, we are!” You exclaimed, a smile breaking out onto your face despite your efforts.

A sudden chime came from your phone, alerting you of a new text message. It happened two more times, causing you to pull your phone away from your ear. Putting Jimin on speaker, you clicked onto your messages, only to see that Jungkook had sent you a message.

Your eyes immediately flickered up to the boy who sat by your feet, his attention still on his phone.

Curiously, you clicked on the message.

You chuckled lightly before closing out of the conversation.

“Who else is going?” You asked Jimin casually.

Jimin thought for a moment, “Well me and Hoseok for sure. Yoongi said he and his girlfriend are going and I invited Namjoon and Seokjin but they haven’t confirmed yet. And then you and Jungkook.”

“That’s a lot of people. Do we all fit in the house?” You questioned, unsure of what the sleeping arrangements were meant to be.

“Oh yeah, definitely. It has four bedrooms. I mean, everyone is going to be sharing a room but I figured you’d just share one with Jungkook.”

“Ah.” You replied nodding your head.

“I can, uh, ask Yoongi’s girlfriend if she’ll share a room with you if you’re uncomfortable with that. She’s a nice girl she probably won’t mind.” Jimin offered, suddenly realizing that he probably shouldn't have just assumed you would want to share a bed with Jungkook.

“No, it’s fine. Jungkook is significantly less insufferable when he’s sleeping actually. I’ll survive.” You assured him, sighing dramatically.

“I can literally hear you, Y/N.” Jungkook commented suddenly, causing both Jimin and you to laugh.

“So next weekend?” You repeated.

“Yep! I’ll make a group chat with everyone later and text everyone the details. Sound good?” Jimin replied, sounding excited.

“Sounds great, I’ll see you next weekend!” You smiled, already beginning to plan what you were going to pack in your head.

“Fuck yeah. We’ll talk later, okay?”

“Mhm! Bye, Jimin!”

“Bye.”

You ended the phone call and let out an excited squeal. Turning your head to Jungkook, you were met by the sight of him already staring at you. 

“What did you sign me up for?” Jungkook frowned, one of his dark eyebrows cocked up. You gave him an enthusiastic grin.

“A weekend away at Jimin’s beach house with copious amounts of fun and alcohol. You’re welcome.” You declared with a grin. To your surprise, Jungkook grimaced.

You frowned at his reaction, moving over to him.

“Do you not want to go? I thought you and Jimin were friends?”

It was very unlike Jungkook to turn down a fun get together with friends. Jungkook was always down to have a good time. He should be jumping at the chance to run around the beach.

“It’s not that. It’s just that I know I’m going to get shit faced.” He sighed.

“Yeah...” You eyed him suspiciously. “That’s kind of part of the fun?”

Was he sick? The Jungkook you knew had been drinking since he was in high school. What was with this sudden spout of sobriety?

Jungkook eyed you seriously before sighing.

“The last two times I got drunk, I nearly ruined my life.”

You raised an eyebrow at him, “What do you mean?”

“The last time I got drunk I bent my best friend over my lap and started spanking her. The time before that I slept with a girl without a condom on. I’m clearly reckless when I drink.” He went on, sounding solemn.

“Didn’t both of those situations end well, though? I ended up loving it and that Mina girl was a false alarm. She didn’t even end up being pregnant.” You pointed out. Since when was Jungkook such a pessimist?

“Okay, yes, but if they didn’t end well? I would be living on the streets without you in my life and I’d be a father. ” 

“What could you possibly do to ruin your life this time around?” You questioned, not understanding what the big deal was.

Jungkook looked away from your peering stare. It wasn’t that he was afraid of what he might do; it was what he might say– especially to you.

Ever since both of you started sleeping together, he found it hard to be around you. It was the strangest thing; you muddled his thoughts and set him on edge, but despite all that, he kept spending more and more time with you. Somehow, Jungkook had become a living, breathing oxymoron. His actions and thoughts were in constant disagreement.

If he went out and got drunk while you paraded around in a swimsuit– there was no telling what might tumble out of his mouth.

There were words that swam around in Jungkook’s head. Words that he couldn’t quite make sense of. Words that neither were ready to hear.

At a lack of a response, you sighed. 

“Fine. Don’t drink. But please come. I want you to come with me. I won’t have fun if you’re not there. You always make things more fun.” You pouted sadly.

You knew you were appealing directly to his ego, which was something you usually tried to refrain from doing altogether. Jungkook’s ego was large enough, but you had known him long enough to have learned how to use it to your advantage.

“Besides, you'd get to be topless all trip. You’ll get to show off your rock hard abs.” You wiggled your eyebrows mischievously, poking at his abdomen. He stared back at you unamused.

“You stroking my ego isn’t going to make me want to go.” He replied pointedly.

You frowned. He wasn’t giving in. It was time for plan B.

“I’m not stroking anything. And I won’t for the next month unless you go on this trip with me.”

Jungkook looked taken aback at what you were suggesting before he let out a laugh.

“Do you really think taking sex away from me is enough to make me go?”

“Hmm, I dunno. But whatever, it’s fine. I’m sure you and your hands will have a nice weekend together while I’m gone.” You sighed, making your way to get off Jungkook’s bed.

“Woah, wait. Fine. I’ll go.” Jungkook called out, grabbing onto one of your arms to stop you from leaving.

Weekends were typically when you and Jungkook were the most active, and to be left without you would undoubtedly leave Jungkook having to get off using his hands, which was unsatisfying compared to how good he knew you felt. Jungkook wasn’t sure he could survive a month without you.

‘God, I’m fucking pathetic.’ He thought to himself darkly.

“Really?!” You squeal excitedly, jumping back onto the bed. 

“Yeah, whatever.” Jungkook sighed, feeling conflicted and annoyed, mainly at himself.

You smiled, pressing a kiss onto his cheek, and despite how annoyed he was, he still had to fight off a smile that had somehow found his mouth when your lips touched his cheek.

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The drive to Jimin’s beach house was a long and painful one for Jungkook. The two of you set off early in the morning as the drive was a relatively long one. Unfortunately for Jungkook, you had fallen asleep a mere 30 minutes into the drive, leaving Jungkook alone for the remaining three hours.

He couldn’t blame you though; the night before, two of you were far too excited to go to sleep so Jungkook took it upon himself to see how many times he could make you cum before you verbally begged him to stop.

You had tapped out at three times but Jungkook being Jungkook managed to get one additional one out of you. Your body was absolutely wrecked and you could barely keep your eyes open, falling asleep almost the instant that Jungkook was done with you.

Just two hours later, however, he was shaking you awake as the two of you had to get ready and hit the road.

Jungkook sighed, tapping his thumbs along the steering wheel. He managed to put on some music without disturbing you but kept it at a low volume just to be safe. 

Road trips between the two of you usually consisted of loud karaoke sessions, resulting in sore throats and sore abs from laughing so hard. But alas, there you were, asleep beside him, curled against the passenger door and breathing softly.

“Y/N. We’re here, wake up.” Jungkook told you with a yawn as he pulled his car into park, having had finally reached the final destination.

You didn’t stir at the sound of his voice, causing Jungkook to sigh. He unbuckled his seatbelt and turned the car off, slipping out of the driver's seat.

He walked around the car, making his way to the passenger side.

The door was yanked from against you and if it weren't for Jungkook’s quick reflexes, and your seatbelt, you would have toppled over onto the floor.

“Huh?” You said as you regained consciousness, waking up in Jungkook’s arms.

“We’re here.” He told you as he sat you back up.

“Oh, yay.” You sighed softly, rubbing at your eyes. Looking around, you took in the sight of multiple cars in the driveway and most importantly, a large blue house, built right on the beach.

The two of you grabbed your luggage, along with bags of alcohol bottles that you had been designated to bring.

Jungkook let the way towards the house, you were still sleepy and had trouble keeping your eyes open.

“Anyone here?” Jungkook called out as he pushed the front door open, causing a wave of cheers to sound out. 

“Look who made it!”

“The alcohol is here!”

“Glad to see you didn’t kill each other on the ride up.”

Voices rang out as you both walked further into the house, greeted by a living room full of people.

Jimin perked up immediately to hug you both.

“Thanks for coming you guys!” Jimin said enthusiastically as he hugged Jungkook, making his way to hug you once he was done.

Jungkook greeted everyone else in the house accordingly. He recognized Jimin’s friends. Hoseok was a friend of Jimin’s that Jungkook had met before and the two got along swimmingly. Yoongi and Namjoon were also there and he recognized Seokjin from Jimin’s social media posts, although he had never met him before. There was a pretty girl he had never seen before there as well and he assumed it was someone’s girlfriend.

Everyone greeted you kindly, including Yoongi’s girlfriend, who you immediately took a liking too.

“Jimin told me all about you and I’m so glad you came! I couldn’t deal with this much testosterone in this house alone.” The girl had told you, and you weren’t sure if it was because you were sleep-deprived, but you found that to be the most hilarious statement ever and the two of you giggled like two little kids.

“Do you want help getting your luggage to your guys’ room?” Jimin offered, interrupting your laughing spout. You looked around for Jungkook only to find him setting up the liquor. You looked back at Jimin and gave him a smile, yawning before grabbing a suitcase and following him upstairs.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

You had meant to go back downstairs. Really. Jimin and you had deposited your and Jungkook's luggage into your designated room and you told him you be back down after you used the restroom.

The problem was that after you used the restroom, you decided to lay down on the bed, testing out its firmness.

Needless to say, completely exhausted and worn out, 30 minutes had passed and you still hadn’t come down.

“Baby girl, did you fall asleep?” Jungkook asked as he walked into his room, looking for his missing best friend.

You fluttered your eyes open at the sound of his voice, before sighing, your nap having had been interrupted.

“I’m sorry, I’m just so tired.” You told him sleepily, making no effort to get up from the bed.

“I know. It’s okay. Go ahead and sleep. I already told them that’s what you were more than likely doing. It’s raining pretty hard right now so everyone is just going to watch a movie downstairs.” He told you, causing you to sit up.

Listening, you could make out the sound of rain falling, proving his statement to be true.

“Oh. Well, then come cuddle with me, please.” You said, putting your hands out with a sleepy grin.

Jungkook froze before laughing. You had looked so childlike saying that that it reminded him of you back when you were both still kids. It was crazy how much you had both grown up.

“They're waiting for me downstairs.” He told you.

Cuddling was something you had only just recently started doing. At first it was only from post-sex exhaustion, but lately, you had become less reserved with him in general, and you guys often just watched movies while cuddling. You usually had to initiate the cuddle, however, as Jungkook liked to play off like he was too cool to cuddle.

“So? They’ll think you fell asleep too. Aren’t you tired?” You reasoned with him. When it came to getting your way, you were nothing if not persuasive. In fact, Jungkook had a hard time saying no to you about anything these days.

Jungkook sighed before closing the door behind him and beginning to peel off his clothes.

You let out a small noise of victory before beginning to remove your own clothes as well.

“Can I have that t-shirt?” You asked, referring to the t-shirt Jungkook had just taken off. It was one of Jungkook’s more baggier shirts and you were too lazy to sift through your luggage and go and find one of your usual pajama shirts.

Jungkook tossed you the shirt without question and you slipped it over your head and onto your torso with a satisfied giggle.

Jungkook plopped down next to you with a sigh, more tired than he originally let on. 

“What did I miss?” You muttered as you wormed your way closer to him.

“Nothing much. Lots of small-talk. Actually, a friend from high school called me randomly and turns out he’s actually in the area weirdly enough so I think he might swing by tomorrow.” Jungkook brought up, sounding excited.

“Huh, what are the odds? What friend?” You asked.

“Kim Taehyung.” 

“Oh, woah.” 

You remembered Kim Taehyung vividly. He, like Jungkook, was one of the boys every girl in your grade lusted over. You had met him a couple of times at Jungkook’s birthday parties but he didn’t really give you the time of day so you couldn’t tell if he was a good person or not. Jungkook seemed to like him as they usually went out together.

“Yeah.”

“High school reunion, how cute.” You mused with a chuckle.

“I have a high school reunion every single day. I live with you.” Jungkook reminded you, yawning slightly.

“True.” You agreed.

It was quiet for a moment and you thought the two of you might drift off to sleep before Jungkook spoke once more.

“Can I tell you something?”

“Mm.” You replied, your eyes shut and ready to float off into unconsciousness.

“You’re the first person I ever jacked off to the thought of.” He told you.

Your eyes flung open, face turning bright red.

“W-What?”

“Yeah. Well, I stumbled across this porn video and it was this guy fucking his childhood friend so I got off to that. And then like a week later you and I went to a pool party and you wore this yellow bikini and I kept thinking about the video so I had to go to the bathroom and get myself off in there.” Jungkook spoke, sounding ridiculously nonchalant.

“Oh. My. God.” You breathed out.

“Funny how I was so embarrassed back then but now I get to fuck you whenever I want.”

“Jungkook! I know what party you’re talking about. I wasn’t even remotely sexy back then, what the fuck? I can’t believe you thought of me while you jacked off in the public bathroom of a community pool.” You laughed.

“Well, it wasn’t you exactly. It was that that video was on my mind like 24/7 and all of a sudden I was suddenly hyper-aware that you were a girl and that you were my childhood friend. So naturally, my brain went there. It wasn’t like I made  a habit of it, that was the one time.” He explained.

“I–”

“I mean until you lost your virginity and then I started to imagine what it would be like to have sex with you.” 

You let out a small noise in the back of your throat.

Jungkook reminisced on his high school days when you told him that you had lost your virginity and thought that you were pregnant. After he had taken you to go get a pregnancy test done, which of course ended up being negative, he couldn’t help but realized that suddenly you had boobs, and had curves and that he was very much intrigued about what sex with you might entail.

“Jungkook–” He interrupted you as another memory crossed his mind, not noticing the way your thighs were rubbing against each other. Your face grew warm with every word he spoke.

“I also had this weird fantasy where I was the one who took your virginity for a little bit. I just liked the idea of stripping you of your innocence.”

“Daddy...” You finally let out with a soft whimper, pulling him out of his thoughts and he looked at you to see your cheeks red and eyes watery.

Jungkook stared at you in awe. Had Jungkook talked about lusting over you in high school turn you on?

“Yes, baby girl?” He mumbled, his thumb running over your bottom lip.

“Please fuck me.”

“Ah, I can’t. You’re too loud. People will hear.” Jungkook sighed, causing you to whine.

“I’ll be quiet.” You said, trying to reason. 

Jungkook knew this was a lie. When he had his way with you, you tended to get pretty vocal. He loved the concept of hearing your cry out for him in your guys’ apartment but not so much the concept of all of your friends hearing it.

Knowing that Jungkook wasn’t going to make the first move, you grew annoyed, pushing him onto his back and throwing a leg over his waist.

“Y/N...”

“Please, please fuck me. I need you.” You begged, knowing exactly how that will affect Jungkook.

“This isn’t fair.” He declared.

“You not fucking me isn’t fair!”

Jungkook still said nothing and made no effort to move.

“Fine. Don't fuck me. I don’t need you. I can be quiet just like this.” You huffed, already moving your hips against his clothed dick, which was already harder than he cared to admit.

You let out a soft breath at the feeling of moving against him, your eyes shutting close as your mind went elsewhere.

“Ah, shit.” Jungkook moaned.

You were so flushed and shaking already. He never imagined that talking about this kind of thing would have you this worked up.

You opened your eyes slowly and place a hand onto his torso, allowing yourself to tilt forwards and expose your panty clad clit to the growing tent you rocked against.

You fell forward with a cry, your forearms the only thing holding you up from completely pressing against Jungkook’s chest.

“I used to do this to my pillows when I was a teenager. I used to pretend it was you I was rubbing against.” You confessed, causing Jungkook to groan.

Your face was bright red. You suppressed these memories for a long time. This was a part of you that, for a long time, you hated reminiscing on because you were just a horny teenaged girl with very little source material to work with. You had to use your asshole of a best friend to get yourself off and you hated it.

“Why didn't you tell me this?” Jungkook moaned, his own hips started to rock into yours.

“Because it’s embarrassing and, ah fuck, I didn’t want to make things weird between us.” You moaned. You were so wet and you knew that these panties were ruined.

“It’s not embarrassing, baby girl. It’s so hot to think that you were rubbing your pretty little clit against what you pretend was me while I was getting off on the thought of taking your virginity.” 

Jungkook watched the way your body tensed and reacted to his filthy words. God, you were so fucking hot. Here you were, grinding against his cock as you blushed and told him about how you used to masturbate to the thought of him while in high school. Sometimes, he couldn’t wrap his mind around how incredible you were.

You were so wet that the fabric of his briefs had soaked, and the feeling of the wet cloth tugging against both of you had you both on the brink.

“Think of the fun we could’ve had if you had told me, baby girl. We could’ve had so much fun. Fingering you under the table. Fucking you in the janitor’s closet. Oh fuck, I would’ve ruined you.” Jungkook grunted, thrust up against you, wishing more than anything that he was buried inside you so he could get some relief.

You had a hand clamped around your mouth, your eyes watery and glazed in ecstasy. You were so close to your finish that your thighs were shaking and your motions began to slow down.

Jungkook’s hands flew to your hips and he pressed you further into him, causing you to cry out.

“You’re not allowed to stop until you cum.” He growled, extending two fingers towards your mouth, which you greedily took. 

The scene was so hot that Jungkook worried he was going to come before you. You looked so blissed out rubbing against his hot and wet cock; your necklace swinging back and forth as he rutted against you.

“Oh, fuck. Ah, Jungkook!”

You came with Jungkook’s name on your tongue and his fingers in your mouth.

Jungkook pulls his fingers out of your mouth, eyes glued to the trail of saliva that connected his removed fingers and your mouth.

"Good job, baby girl.” He praised you as you breathed hard, head lolled forward.

Moving off his lap, Jungkook let out a groan as you peeled back the top of his briefs, exposing just the enlarged red tip. You placed a wet kiss onto it, causing him to hiss because, fuck, he was already so close. 

Your right hand gripped around his base, pumping it with him still in his underwear.

Fucking hell, you were the sexiest thing he’d ever seen. You had your hair tucked messily behind your ear as you took his head into your mouth, sucking just lightly enough to cause him to let out an impatient whine.

"Please just let me fuck your mouth already.” Jungkook groaned, patience having had run entirely too thin.

To his surprise, you pulled off of him with a small pop sound.

“Ah, I can’t. You’re too loud. People with hear.”

Throwing his own words back at him, you turned over and laid back down. Jungkook could only gawk in disbelief.

Needless, Jungkook caved and managed to ignore the fact that there were people downstairs because when it came to getting your way, you were nothing if not persuasive. 

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

It was the next day and you were sitting on the couch, sipping on a Mike’s Hard when the doorbell rang. Seeing as it was Jungkook’s friend that was arriving, you called out Jungkook’s name for him to answer it. 

“Jungkook! Your friend is here!” You yelled out, causing Yoongi’s girlfriend, who was currently sitting beside you to laugh.

Jungkook came bounding down the stairs, running over towards the front door.

You heard the door swing open.

“Dude! Holy shit!”

“Tae! How have you been?”

You took another swig of your drink, not bothering to watch the reunion. As happy as you were that Jungkook was happy to have his high school friend over, you yourself weren't exactly thrilled.

Seeing Taehyung would serve kind of as a painful reminder of the times where Jungkook treated you like shit and frankly, you liked to think about that as little as possible.

“They’re such bros.” Yoongi’s girlfriend commented, head turned to watch the two boys greet each other. You let out a small chuckle.

“Tae, meet the girls.” You heard Jungkook say as two pairs of footsteps made their way over to the couch.

You swallowed your sigh, knowing that you’d have to say hello sooner or later.

Turning around in your seat, your eyes meet Taehyung’s. Your eyes widened and Taehyung’s expression mirrored yours.

Time had clearly had never stopped being kind to Taehyung as he was as good looking as ever.

“You’re Y/N?” Were the first words he spoke to you.

“Yeah... It’s nice to meet you.” You nodded.

“We’ve met before in high school. You were Jungkook’s nerdy friend, right? I barely recognize you. You look so different.” Taehyung spoke, eyebrows raised.

You weren't exactly sure how to respond so you just let out an awkward laugh. Taehyung must have picked up on its insincerity as he quickly smiled at you.

“Good different, though.” 

You just nodded, the familiar feeling of feeling like you didn’t belong creeping up on you.

“C’mon. Everyone else is outside, I’ll introduce you.” Jungkook said suddenly, ushering Taehyung away as he sensed that you were uncomfortable. You sent Jungkook a grateful smile, to which he winked back at, causing you to laugh.

“That Taehyung kid is gorgeous.” Yoongi’s girlfriend spoke up once the boys had left.

You watched as Jungkook and Taehyung’s tall bodies made their way towards the beach.

“Yeah. He is.” You nodded.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

The rest of the day had panned out perfectly. The weather was great and there was no shortage of alcohol, the perfect equation for a good time.

Everyone had slowly made their way back to the house, either in the living room or in the backyard patio. You currently stood in the backyard with Taehyung, who apparently found you immensely interesting as he had hardly left your side all day.

He was a funny kid, constantly making you laugh and always encouraging another round of shots, which up until the last two rounds, you had partaken in.

“Seriously, I can’t believe we never hung out in high school. You’re like... cool.” Taehyung told you causing you to burst out into giggles.

Taehyung stared at you in confusion before inevitably laughing along, too drunk to take anything too seriously.

“I’m not kidding!” He told you with a grin. You dismissed him with a wave of a hand.

“No, I know. It’s just that we could’ve never been friends in high school. We were in two very different crowds.” You told him.

As you went to go shift in place you ended up stumbling slightly, and Taehyung grabbed you in an attempt to stabilize you. You laughed at your own expense.

“Well, you and Jungkook made it work.” He pointed out, causing you to tilt your head.

Where was Jungkook? Now that you think about it, you had barely seen him all day. Taehyung was the one who had kept you company today.

You held onto Taehyung’s arm in order to keep yourself still and you looked around for Jungkook.

Looking through the sliding glass doors that lined the back of the house, you could see Jungkook sitting inside on the couch alone, on his phone, sipping from a cup that you could only assume had alcohol in it.

“I’m gonna go check up on him.” You announced to Taehyung, making your way towards the house before he could reply.

Your attention was stolen, however, by a drunk Jimin on the other side of the patio, waving you over. 

You smiled at him and made your way over to him happily.

“Hello!” You greeted as you reached him, thankfully not stumbling as you walked.

“Hi, Y/N. Are you having a good time?” Jimin asked, always the polite host.

“Yes! I’ve made friends with Taehyung. He’s very funny.” You told him cheerfully.

“So... Taehyung, huh?” Jimin questioned, a smirk on his mouth.

“What about him?” You questioned with a raise of a brow.

“Dude, Taehyung is totally into you.” Jimin said, catching you off guard.

“Woah, what? No, he’s not. No way a guy like that is into me.”

“Y/N, I know what I see and it is him literally salivating over you.” Jimin insisted.

You frowned. Taehyung had been hanging out with you a lot today. He was also kind of touchy but you just assumed that he was a friendly guy. Surely he was popular for a reason.

But there was no way he was into you. It wasn’t like you could act on it either. Taehyung was good looking. Really good looking. The kind of good-looking that was intimating. You couldn’t even imagine kissing him, much less having sex with him.

“Even if that were true, there’s no way I could get with him.” You sighed, accepting that Taehyung was simply out of your league.

“Oh. Is it because of Jungkook?” Jimin inquired causing you to freeze.

Holy shit, did Jimin know about Jungkook and you?

“W-What do you mean? What does Jungkook have to do with this?” You stuttered, trying to appear nonchalant but you couldn't hear anything past the sound of your heartbeat pounding in your ears.

Jimin narrowed his eyes, “Y/N... I’m not an idiot. He’s constantly doting over you. You’re like an old married couple.”

“What? No, it's not like that at all! He’s my best friend, you know that.” You dismissed quickly with a shake of your head.

Did everyone think that Jungkook and you were a couple? Sure, you two were close and comfortable with one another but come on, he was your best friend.

Jimin stared at you in annoyance, “I heard you guys yesterday.”

Your eyes widened in disbelief.

“We all did actually.”

Your stomach dropped. You were mortified. 

Everyone had heard you and Jungkook fuck.

“So, you guys are best friends who occasionally fuck around. That’s it, right?” Jimin continued, sounding way more relaxed then you were. You felt like you were about to pass out.

“I don’t–”

“Y/N.” Jimin warned, the look in his eye telling you that lying to him would get you nowhere, as he already knew the answer.

You bite down onto your lip, weighing your options.

You exhaled, finally, “...Okay, fine. We have sex.”

“Relax, it's okay. You’re both hot and live with each other, I’m not surprised. What I don’t understand is why you can’t sleep with Taehyung?” Jimin asked, sounding genuinely confused.

You shrugged.

“Well. I dunno. Jungkook and I aren’t really sleeping with other people.”

Jimin blinked at you, taken aback.

“You guys are... exclusive?”

“I mean, I don’t know if I’d use that word...”

“You guys live together, voluntarily hang out with one another and only fuck each other?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess.”

“You do realize that you guys are essentially dating, right?”

You laughed, “What, no! That’s stupid. Jungkook and I are just friends.”

Jimin shook his head.

“Just friends don’t exclusively sleep with one another.”

You didn’t reply. You didn’t know how to. Objectively, Jimin had a point. Jungkook and you did everything a couple did. 

Was a title really all that separated the two of you from two people in a relationship?

No, of course not. What are you thinking? Jungkook and you didn’t love each other romantically like couples did. Jungkook would never fall in love with you. Dating would be... weird.

Oh god. Did Jungkook think this was weird? You were the one that had insisted he only slept with you and no one else. At the time you genuinely had no one else you could sleep with and it felt unfair when Jungkook had a seemingly endless list of options– but now there was Taehyung. Not that you were going to sleep with him but, you had an option.

Of course, Jungkook thought it was weird. It was weird. You two should be able to sleep with whoever the hell you guys wanted.

“I need to go to talk to Jungkook.” You said once you pulled yourself away from your own thoughts, leaving Jimin suddenly.

You felt nervous. Why hadn’t Jungkook said anything? Did he think you were in love with him? Fuck, you felt nauseous and the alcohol wasn’t helping.

You opened one of the sliding doors and walked into the house.

“Jungkook!” You called out, reaching the living room.

Jungkook was staring at the ground, brows furrowed while sitting alone on the couch, and he perked up at the sound of your voice.

“Oh. Hey.” He greeted as you walked up to him, exclaiming slightly when you grabbed his arm and whisked him away to the nearest bathroom.

“What’s happening? Do you want me to fuck you here, or something?” Jungkook questioned with a laugh, sounding confused as you shut the bathroom door behind you both.

You weren’t exactly sure why you needed to hide in the bathroom as everyone was outside but it was too late to dwell over details.

“We should sleep with other people.” You told him bluntly, the alcohol giving you the courage you needed.

You watched as Jungkook’s smile dropped.

“What?”

“We should be able to fuck other people. It’s weird that we only sleep with one another.” You elaborated.

You two should've had this conversation a long time ago. You’re surprised Jungkook hadn’t brought it up himself.

Jungkook felt his mood grow darker than it already was.

The arrival of Taehyung was meant to be an exciting one, but that all changed the moment he realized that Taehyung liked his best friend. He spent the whole day with you, making you laugh, touching the small of your back casually, and Jungkook couldn’t help but be annoyed.

He was sick of having to watch Taehyung drool over you, so he went inside, poured himself a lot of vodka and began to sulk.

Did you want to fuck him? Was this what you were getting at?

Jungkook frowned at you, “Is this about Taehyung?”

“What? No.”

It had to be about Taehyung. Why would you suddenly start to want to be able to fuck other guys?

“You wanna fuck him even though I’m here?” Jungkook could feel himself getting angry before he could stop himself. There was no way he was letting Taehyung place a single hand on you. Over his dead fucking body. It was enough that Taehyung stole you away from him all day, but there was no way he’d allow you to have sex with him.

“Kook, stop talking, I’m too drunk for this.”

“No. You’re wearing my fucking necklace, Y/N.” Jungkook snapped.

He didn’t understand why he was so angry, all he knew was that he didn’t want Taehyung near you ever again.

You were livid. You had brought Jungkook over to have a conversation that was in his best interest, you thought he’d be elated to be able to sleep with multiple people again and here he was– yelling at you!

“Excuse me, you’re not my fucking boyfriend. You don’t get to decide who I can or can’t sleep with. Also, don’t raise your voice at me, you asshole.” You retorted back, pointing a finger into his chest.

Jungkook felt sick. Images of Taehyung fucking you while you wore Jungkook’s necklace flooded his mind. Fuck, he was so angry.

“Hell no, I’m not your boyfriend. I’d never date a girl who whores out for any guy that’ll look at her.”

Shit, he was drunk. He was drunk and saying shit he didn’t mean. But he was so fucking angry. Why was he so angry?

“You did not just say that.” You deadpanned.

You were positively seeing red. That absolute fucking dick. How were you a whore when Jungkook was the only guy you were sleeping with? 

“Whatever, Y/N. Go suck off Taehyung or something.” Jungkook scoffed, turning to look away from you.

What the fuck was wrong with him?

“Fine, I will! God, you’re such a fucking dick!” You yelled out in frustration, pushing past him to open the door and walk out.

The sound of you slamming the door shut was deafening, and it wasn’t until Jungkook was left in silence that he realized how loud his feelings for you were.

The fact that you hated him right now didn’t scare him. What scared him was that fact that he was in love with you and didn’t realize until this moment.

“Fuck!” Jungkook shouted, slamming a hand against the closed door.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

It had been hours since he had gone upstairs, abandoning the loud festivities everyone else was partaking in downstairs. There was no way he couldn't go back out there and watch the way Taehyung's fingers lingered on your skin, the way he said your name the way Jungkook wanted to.

He heard one by one as the party downstairs retired and people went back into their beds to sleep.

You didn't come back up.

And Jungkook couldn't sleep.

"Jungkook? What are you doing here?" You asked him, eyes wide at his sudden arrival in the school's office, fearing that he had been called to the office for something he had done wrong.

It was some time in your early high school years that Jungkook had decided to pay you a visit after school, purely because he was bored and didn't feel like going back home.

"I'm not in trouble if that's what you're implying." Jungkook laughed, causing you to let out a sigh in relief.

You were sitting in the waiting room, waiting for a request from any of the faculty for something for you to do. You were a student aid and often ran errands for teachers or other authority figures.

Pondering on why Jungkook might be in the office, you narrowed your eyes.

"You want something. There is no other reason you would voluntarily spend any more time at school than necessary." You told him accusingly.

Jungkook sat down beside you with a sickeningly sweet smile.

"Nope. Just wanna spend some time with a cute girl. Is that so wrong?" He teased, tugging at the lanyard that you had to wear whenever you were on student aid duty.

You frowned in disgust; you hated when Jungkook spoke to you like that. Like you were just another girl that fawned over him in your school. His newly found popularity had been a shock to both of you, but not as much as the change in your relationship had been.

Jungkook hung out with you less. He didn't see the problem with it as he still called you on the phone to talk about what was going on in his life. He didn't see a problem in not asking about yours or not sitting with you at lunch anymore, it seemed.

You opened your mouth to announce your distaste when your name was called.

Jungkook watched from his seat as you hopped up eagerly, rushing over the front desk, as a stack of papers were handed over to you, along with verbal instructions on what you were meant to do with these papers.

Nodding, you took the papers and began to walk out of the room.

Jungkook hopped out of his seat, walking after you.

"Uh, why are you following me?" You questioned once you heard the sound of footsteps trailing after you. Seeing as Jungkook didn't really hang out with you anymore, it was weird that he was trying to do so suddenly, especially at school, where he often ignored you. Besides, you were meant to be working now; he knew that. You certainly didn't have time to mess around and entertain a bored Jungkook.

Jungkook scoffed, "Dude, what's your problem? You always complain I never hang out with you, and now that I'm trying to, you don't even want to."

Your stride halted altogether.

You turned around to face the teenaged boy, your stomach dropping. Staring at him, you struggled for words for a moment.

Jungkook had thrown your biggest insecurity right at your face. You knew that the two of you were starting to drifting; you had told him once that you were scared you were losing him. You weren't a priority to Jungkook– he had become vastly popular and extroverted, while you liked to stay home and study. You were becoming two different people and both of you knew it.

The moment those words left Jungkook's mouth, he regretted it; he saw the way your face twisted up in hurt, your eyes watering slightly.

During the first year of high school, you had become insecure and sensitive. Jungkook never knew that it was because of him. You thought that it was only a matter of time before he deemed you unworthy of his time and would stop talking to you altogether given how little you guys had in common anymore.

He hadn't said it to be malicious, he was joking for the most part. But he would learn as high school went by that the kind of humor the people he hung out with enjoyed was not one that you understood nor liked very much.

"As flattered as I am that you finally want to hang out with me, I have work to do." You snapped, your hands gripped around the stack of papers you were holding.

"Oh, come on, stop taking everything so personally–"

"I don't need you to hang out with me just because you pity me. Hang out with me because you want to! This school has plenty of cute girls, Jungkook. Go find one to actually screw around with."

And with that, you turned on your heel and marched away.

Jungkook couldn't sleep because that memory was playing in his head, over and over again.

It was the stupid shit he did to you like that that nearly ruined your friendship. He was insensitive and kept pushing you away. Like usual, after that event happened, you went on like nothing was wrong, forgiving him without him even apologizing. You'd probably forgive him for what he said today too.

God, he was an asshole.

There was no reason for him to be mad. He was possessive over you when he had no right to be. No matter how much his stomach churned at the thought of someone holding you that wasn't him, you weren't his to have and you certainly didn't deserve to be. You deserved better.

He just wished he could be better for you.

Jungkook sat up from his bed.

When had this happened? When did his life become him sitting in a room alone, silently pining after you? When did he fall in love with his best friend? Why did it hurt so much?

Looking over at the clock, Jungkook read the time.

3:56 AM.

Were you still with Taehyung?

Did you hate Jungkook that much that you weren't going to come up to bed to sleep?

You consumed his thoughts and Jungkook felt like he couldn't breathe.

He should check up on you. As your best friend, that's what he should do.

That wasn't weird, right? That is what friends did. He was going to find you, not for the selfish reasons that plagued his mind, but he was going to talk to you and make sure you were okay because you guys were friends.

Hopping out of bed, Jungkook began to dress, glancing over at his window to take in the sight of the beach, the sunlight just started to spread over the water.

Jungkook pulled his eyes away from the window, before pausing, only to walk back up on the window.

What was that?

Jungkook pulled aside the curtain that cut off a portion of the glass and peered down at the beach.

Just by the shore, he could make out a silhouette. Who was down at the beach at this hour?

But the more Jungkook stared, the more he realized who it was. He knew the hair that was moving slightly with the breeze. He watched the way it was cut off and grown out in a cycle throughout these past ten years.

Moving away from the window, Jungkook continued to dressing before slipping out of the room.

Once downstairs, he paused for a moment to take in a sleeping Taehyung, sprawled out on the couch. Jungkook noted his fully dressed form before slipping out of the house altogether.

As he made his way towards the private beach, he could feel his heart rate quickening, your silhouette coming more and more into view with every step he took.

When he reached you, he almost turned back around. You were sitting, back faced towards him and the house, your feet getting wet every time the tide came in.

It was quiet except for the sounds of the water rolling in and out and Jungkook didn't want to disturb you.

"Are you just going to stand there and watch me like some sort of weirdo?" You spoke suddenly, causing Jungkook to jump.

"Shit." Jungkook exclaimed, a hand falling over his already pounding chest. "How did you know I was here?"

You turned over his shoulder to look at him, "Water is reflective, Jungkook."

Jungkook nodded, feeling foolish, before sitting down next to you.

"How long have you been here?" He asked quietly.

"Not long." You replied softly, your hands moving to wipe away at your face.

Jungkook watched as you did so, the corners of his mouth falling.

"Were you crying?"

You didn't answer him.

"Why?" He questioned, his voice picking up in volume. Had Taehyung done something? He would kill him if he had done anything out of line to you.

"I dunno. It's so quiet and pretty here and..."

"And?"

"And beautiful things make me cry." You said, your eyes glancing over to look at your beautiful best friend.

Jungkook nodded. You cried over those leg-less dog videos on Facebook where they get those harnesses with wheels attached so that they could run again. He had no doubt that a pretty ocean view could send you into tears.

"So." He began, immediately cringing at how uncomfortable the atmosphere became once he said it.

"I didn't sleep with him if that what you're wondering." You sighed placing your face into your hands.

Jungkook felt his face turn red, completely taken aback at how you had almost read his mind, "Oh. I mean I wasn't going to ask you about him but, okay. Why not?"

You let out a long sigh into your palms before removing them and running them through your hair.

“I mean, I tried. But he fell asleep.”

Jungkook wasn't exactly sure what he was expecting to hear but it certainly wasn't that.

"He... What?!" Jungkook exclaimed, bursting out in laughter.

You clicked your tongue, "He was too drunk. We were hooking up on the couch and he passed out."

Jungkook's laughter rang out even harder. Taehyung had fallen asleep before he even got to sleep with you? What a fucking loser.

Clearly not much had changed from high school as he still didn't know how to handle his liquor.

You fought a smile as you watched Jungkook laugh.

"I'm sorry to hear that." He teased with a chuckle, more than amused at his friend's failure to perform.

"Don't be. I didn't really want to sleep with him anyway." You confessed with a sigh, causing Jungkook to fall silent.

"You didn't?" He questioned incredulously.

You shook your head from side to side.

"But... I don't understand. If you didn't want to sleep with him then why did you hook up with him at all?"

It was the question that you had been asking yourself for the past hour as you sat here on this beach. You thought maybe you did it just to spite Jungkook, but the more you thought to yourself the more you knew the truth.

You were trying to prove something to yourself. It was something that you had been running from for a while and you had tried to drown it out with alcohol and the mouth of a stranger.

You shook your head, "I don't know, I was drunk and confused."

"Are you still? Drunk and confused, I mean."

You sighed.

No, you weren't. You were painfully sober and your thoughts were inescapable now. You didn't want to sleep with Taehyung. What you wanted was for Jungkook to stop you, to tell you that you were his. And that he was yours.

"No, I'm not."

The tide that ran up and nipped at your feet was cold. The ocean's breeze moved your hair in a way that hid your face from Jungkook.

"I'm sorry." Jungkook said suddenly causing you to look at him.

"What?"

"For everything."

You stared at him, watching the way his eyebrows furrowed.

"For treating you like shit. Especially in high school. I was a fucking dick to you. You shouldn't be by my side today with how I treated you, and for some reason, you are and... I'm just sorry."

You were taken aback. Where was this coming from? Did Taehyung being here bring this up? Jungkook had never apologized for the way he treated you, but at this point, it didn't matter. You had already forgiven him and moved on. You thought he had too...

"Jungkook... it's fine. None of that matters now. We're fine now." You assured him.

"But we're not!" Jungkook exclaimed desperately, running a hand through his hair.

"I just– you deserve the fucking world, Y/N. You don't deserve some selfish asshole like me as a best friend. You are a far greater human than I could ever be. You're smarter and kinder and more honest–"

"Stop, don't say that." You cut him off sharply, not wanting to hear him go on any longer.

Jungkook just stared at you silently.

"Months ago, before Jimin's birthday party, I told you I wanted your body. I lied. And I'm sorry."

You blinked.

What?

Jungkook's expression was serious, causing your heart to sink. He lied? Did this mean he didn't want to sleep with you anymore?

Thousands of questions ran through your mind but all you could do was stare at him, hoping that he'd say something to answer just one of them.

Jungkook's eyes dropped down onto your necklace, staring at it for a moment.

You watched in silence as his cheeks turn uncharacteristically pink.

And suddenly his eyes were on yours, staring at you with words you couldn't understand.

"I don't want your body. I want more than that. I want your smile and the way you shut your eyes when you laugh. I want the way your eyes light up whenever you hear Disney music; the way you drone on for hours and hours whenever you're upset. I want of all of you and... and I can't believe I just said that."

Jungkook's voice started to shake, beginning to panic.

"Fuck, I'm sorry." He began.

"Jungkook..."

"I know that probably just freaked you the fuck out." Jungkook said, moving to get up and leave.

You reacted immediately, clutching to his arm to still him.

"Jungkook!"

Jungkook stared down at you, finding it nearly impossible to meet your eyes.

"I'm sorry." He muttered once more.

"Stop apologizing before I hit you." You replied seriously.

He didn't react at all to what you said and you could feel his pulse through his wrist– his heart was beating a mile a minute.

"You're fine." You told him softly.

Jungkook felt his heart do a flip at the sound of those words leaving your mouth. He recognized those words. Those were the words he told you when you needed help calling down.

"I'm fine." He replied slowly.

Only you had the ability to both make his heart rate spike and slow it back down. And that was a hard concept to have to swallow. Jungkook took a shaky breath.

"I love you."

"I– Wait, what?" Jungkook stuttered, overwhelmed with awe.

"You love me?" He marveled incredulously, his eyes wide, unsure if he heard you correctly.

"Yes." You nodded shyly.

"You..." Jungkook breathed, "Wait, you actually love me? Like actually love me? Not in a platonic kind of way?"

"I actually love you, Jeon Jungkook." You laughed, the feeling of butterflies rising in your stomach.

"Oh, shit." Was all Jungkook replied, his eyes falling to the floor, causing your nerves to spike.

"Well... Say it back, you dickhole." You pressed, feeling vulnerable.

A smile broke out onto Jungkook's face, joy radiating off him like never before.

In an instant, Jungkook jumped onto you, pushing you back into the sand. You let out a shriek in surprise.

"Jungkook!"

Your complaint was cut short by Jungkook pressing his mouth against you. You went to go respond but he pulled away before you could, unable to push back his grin.

"I love you, baby girl." He hummed, looking down at you fondly.

Even though you had been the one to say it first, you found yourself growing embarrassed at his confession. You bit down onto your bottom lip in a feeble attempt at hiding your shy smile.

You thread your hand into your best friend's hair and pulled him in for another kiss, this one softer and longer than the one before.

"Thanks for tackling me. I love sand in my hair." You teased sarcastically, once the two of you broke the kiss.

"I wanted to surprise you so that you would be caught off guard when I told you that I loved you." He explained, pressing chaste kisses all over your face, causing your heart to flutter.

"Well, I'm surprised alright. Surprised I don't have a concussion from how hard you slammed me into the sand."

Jungkook rolled his eyes, "Oh please, that was a gentle love-shove."

You laughed, throwing your head back in amusement. Jungkook couldn't help but stare at you awe, unable to wrap his mind around the fact that you loved him.

You actually loved him.

"What?" You giggled once you caught him staring.

The sides of his mouth twitched dangerously.

"You're gonna need a shower to clean off all that sand." He informed you in a low tone, causing you to tilt your head at him.

"Yeah. I am..." You replied slowly, not picking up on what it was he was trying to suggest.

"Mhm. It's a lot of sand. I could join you in the shower if you'd like." Jungkook offered innocently, but the smirk he wore on his face told you his intentions were far from innocent.

You felt as his hand wandered down your sides, trailing down to the edge of your shorts.

"You might want an extra hand." He purred into your ear, moving his hand into your shorts, causing you to groan lowly.

Fuck being too loud. You were Jungkook's now and he didn't give a fuck who heard.

In a funny way, you had always belonged to Jungkook, even back in high school when he hardly spared you a passing glance. You used to pride yourself in not being like those other girls who drooled over him back when you were both teenagers. But the reality of it all was that you were just as wrapped around Jungkook's finger as they were.

You forgave him time and time again because you've always loved him, even if you weren't aware of it.

Somewhere though, deep down, you always knew he had your heart. It had just taken you so long to finally accept it. He was a cocky bastard and part of you despised how much of your heart belonged to him. But the other part of you, the larger part of you, couldn't imagine giving yourself to anyone else.

It was the same for him. You drove him crazy, but he was crazy about you. You were the only one who truly loved him unconditionally, and he could only hope and pray that he could love you the way you deserved to be loved.

"Oh fuck. Please?" You begged, wanting nothing more than to have Jungkook's wet, hot body pressed against yours in the shower. You gripped onto the fabric of his shirt.

"Of course." He grinned devilishly causing you to whimper.

"What are best friends for?"

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

AND THAT'S THE END OF THE JUST FRIENDS SERIES WOOOO! This series got a lot of attention really quickly so thank you for that. I am so happy so many people enjoyed this fic. I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH it's DISGUSTING!! <33

[izloveshorses]

tagged by my pal @asecretshekept​ <3

1. Zodiac Sign? Libra! but it’s like a 50/50 chance that I actually act like one lol

2. Height? 5′11

3. Put your playlist on shuffle and list the first 4 song that play? Impossible (Cinderella) Vanilla Ice Cream (She Loves Me) I Like Me Better (Lauv) Focus, Hiccup! (How to Train Your Dragon)

4. Grab the nearest book and turn to page 23. What does line 17 say? “... have been five years with us, and my sister always meant...” (Mansfield Park by Jane Austen)

5. Ever had a song or a poem written about you? nope! as far as I'm aware at least. anyone is welcome to hahaha

6. When was the last time you played air guitar? When I pick up my younger brother from school he likes to listen to either Queen or the Shrek soundtrack, so most likely one of those times lol

7. What sound do you hate? Do you love? The most recent one that’s been bugging me is the sound of a ticking clock. And when a fridge motor isn’t quite right and is really noisy. but I LOVE the sound of horse hooves on literally any surface, horses eating, my dog’s feet on the carpet, wind blowing through the trees, laughter (especially my niece’s and my brother’s), and a bunch more I can’t think of

8. Do you believe in ghosts? maybe? I don’t really know for sure. I think I do but not in the traditional sense I guess. like, I feel an author’s presence when I read their books, or whenever I walk through an old museum or historical building I feel someone nearby and suddenly have the urge to honor them somehow. idk how to explain lol. 

9. Do you believe in aliens? yeah fam

10. Do you drive? If so have you ever been in an accident? Yep! I haven’t really been in an accident but I have caused some damage lol (I say ‘lol’ like I'm over it a;ldfjklas;f) one time I pulled into my driveway a little to far and hit the trashcan which hit the corner of the garage,,, so the garage was off the track for a few days. that was scary. another time I backed into the corner of another car so both of our break lights were shattered but still worked. big yikes.

11. Do you like the small of gasoline? nah.

12. Last movie you watched? Pretty sure it was either The Princess of Thieves (that was a LIFE-CHANGING experience 800/10 pls go watch) or the 25th anniversary edition of Phantom of the Opera, the one with Ramin and Sierra (tbh I just wanted the music on in the background while I drew dimya oops)

13. Do you have any obsessions right now? hmm u tell me haha. Anastasia, Constantine Germanacos (and Christy Altomare and Derek Klena and literally every other cast member) Taylor Swift’s new album, bellarke, the idea of abandoning my future career and living in a yellow house in southern France and selling paintings and home-grown produce for a living, etc. 

14. In a relationship? nah. gotta figure out how to talk like a normal human being first lk;afjdls

tagging my other pals @korneliastrt and @rose-of-the-underworld and whoever else wants to do it!!!

[of-theatre-and-fandoms]

The Princess and Her Sorcerer (Sondam)

Sonia Nevermind was a princess, a real actual princess of her country, Novoselic. She was beloved by all, even at the young age of ten, and no one liked her more than her friend, and the castle’s sorcerer in training, Gundam Tanaka. They spent a lot of their time together, he taught her about dark magic and chants and how to summon a demon (though in their experience, they had never actually managed it), and she had such fun learning!

In return, he sat with her when she read her fairytales to him, and today was one of those days.

“Look Gundam, this is a good one!” Sonia grabbed a book off of her shelf and plopped down on a pillow on the floor, stuffed animals surrounding the both of them. “Let’s see.. Oh! There’s a princess, in a tower, oh my gosh that’s just like me!” She smiled and flipped a few pages ahead. “Poor Rapunzel.. The witch won’t set her free!”

Gundam watched as she flipped through the book, watching her pout as she skipped through the less than happy parts of the story. “My Dark Queen, why don’t we actually read the book?”

“Wait wait! Here we go.” She sighed happily, leaning on her hand. “In the end Rapunzel finds a millionaire, he’s really good at climbing, and braiding golden hair..!” Suddenly she stood up, taking him by surprise. “So I know, he’ll appear, because there are rules and there are strictures! I believe the story books I read, by candlelight!” She grabbed his hands and pulled him up, dancing around her room with him and giggling. “My white knight and his steed will look just like these pictures, see? It won’t be long now, I guarantee! Day number.. 23..” She sighed and sat back down, “I know it’s today..”

Gundam chuckled and stood up, waving. “I have to go my Dark Queen, I’ll see you later.”

“Oh, bye Gundam! Thanks for reading with me today!” Sonia beamed and hugged him, waving back. “See you at dinner!

After he left the room, he sighed, smiling wider despite himself. His she-cat, she was definitely something.

———

This tradition of theirs continued for years to come, and here they were, back when she was fifteen, in her room with a fairytale. At this time she was still being prepared for when she became queen, and he was still a sorcerer in training, and they were still as close as ever.

Anyway, here they sat in her window seat, looking out at the big garden that was currently being tended to by the castle’s gardeners. Sonia smiled happily at him, holding up the book, opening it up. “Snow White, hope you don’t mind!”

“Not at all, Dark Queen, I’m your humble servant after all.”

“Oh hush, none of that! You’re my best friend!” She squeezed his hand, turning her attention back to the book. “There’s a princess, in a coma, jeez, glad it’s her instead of me.. Pretty maiden, in a glass box—“

“A box?”

“Yeah, like a coffin, sort of..” Sonia frowned a bit, “I wonder how does she pee..?”

“Well.. She’s in a coma, so she must not have to..” Gundam shrugged and leaned back against the pillow.

Sonia smiled and shrugged, continuing. “Blah blah blah, poison apple.. Boring, evil queen, jeez, do fairytales have nothing original anymore? Skipping ahead.. Oh! In the end the princess wakes up with a start, the prince is good at kissing, and melting Snow White’s heart..” Sonia sighed and leaned against the window.

“She-cat..?”

“My parents are expecting me to find a prince to marry, and I don’t want to marry a prince.. I don’t want to marry anyone! At least not right now..” She huffed and hugged her legs. “I want to marry for love, not just because I have to..”

He sighed and reached out hesitantly, squeezing her hand. “My lady, I believe that one day you’ll find a prince worthy of your affections! After all, you’re skilled in the taming of wild beasts, and dark magic! What man wouldn’t want that?”

Sonia smiled a bit, nodding. “I guess you’re right, though, I think most people find dark magic and things having to do with demons a little scary and taboo, and I think that would scare any potential suitors.”

“Well, it’s their loss then! Besides, I think the Four Dark Devas Of Destruction would miss you if you were to go off and marry someone else.” With that, he took the four devas, aka his hamsters, out of his scarf where they promptly ran over to nuzzle her, squeaking happily. “See?”

Sonia giggled and stroked their tiny little heads, smiling as she felt her spirits being lifted. “Thank you Gundam, you always know how to make me feel better!” And with that, she gave his cheek a soft peck, grinning.

At that moment, it was if Gundam had short circuited, he couldn’t find the words to form a sentence, and he could feel his face getting redder. “I-I, um.. U-Uh..”

“Heh, sorry, but you’re really cute when you’re all flustered!”

“C-Cute..? D-Dark Lords are not cute!” He huffed, pulling his scarf over his face, which was slowly getting redder. What was this feeling? He didn’t like her, she was his friend, though Dark Lords like himself didn’t have friends, she was the only exception. Sure, she was nice and smart and was the only one who his Devas liked being around, so.. That should’ve been a sure sign right?

“Well, anyway, I have fencing lessons so I have to go, see you later?” She smiled and hopped off the seat, waving to him and heading out the door, leaving Gundam to sit with the Devas Of Destruction. He glanced at them, raising an eyebrow. “Don’t look at me like that, besides.. I’m not a prince, we couldn’t be together anyway..”

———

Five years later, Sonia Nevermind is about to be crowned queen, her coronation is in a week, and she’s a nervous wreck.

The night before her coronation, she sits down on her window seat, looking out the window at the garden. She can’t sleep, so she does something she hasn’t done in quite a while, she reads a fairytale. It seems silly, she’s an adult, but she’s nervous and this will at least get her mind off of everything. Though.. It’s not the same without Gundam.. She hasn’t seen him in a while, he’s been a lot busier lately since he became a full fledged sorcerer, and that makes her sad, because he’s her best friend.

She sighed and grabbed a book, frowning. “There’s a princess, any princess, take your pick they’re all like me..” She huffed and slipped it back into the bookshelf. “Not exactly, I’m still waiting, they’re out living happily.. Ugh, why can’t I have my happily ever after?”

Sonia sighed and grabbed a pillow, hugging it tightly. “I want my prince.. He doesn’t even have to be a prince, I just want to- Oh!! Oh oh oh!!” She stood up so fast she knocked her head on the wall, but at the moment she didn’t even care. She had just had a sudden realization! She dashed out of her room, her bare feet pounding against the marble floors that soon turned to stone as she made her way to the sorcery tower. Hopefully he was there..

Thankfully, he was. He was bent over a big spell book of some sorts, but he looked up when he heard the door open. “My Dark Queen? What’s the matter?”

“I love you!”

He froze in place, feeling his heartbeat begin to speed up. “W-What..?”

She smiled and approached him, her face flushed. “I just.. You’ve always been there for me, and we’ve always been together, all my life and.. Well do you remember that day all those years ago I kissed you?”

“I-I.. Well yes.. It’s hard to forget being kissed by you my lady..”

“Well, I think then I liked you, but now I’m for sure! I like you, no, I love you! I want to be with you Gundam, and I know this all spur of the moment and you don’t have to answer—“

“No! I mean.. No, because, I share your affections as well..” He sighed, tugging his scarf over his face again. “I believe I have for a while as well, but I was afraid it wouldn’t work..”

“Well, I’m about to be queen so I can choose who I’d like to be with!” Sonia smiled and laced her hands with his. “And, I’d like to be with you, if you’ll have me..”

Gundam gave her a small smile and squeezed her hand in return, nodding. “Well of course! You’re my Dark Queen, and together we shall rule the kingdom!”

Sonia grinned and nodded, kissing him softly.

He was definitely taken aback, but he’d be lying if he said that he hadn’t thought about this moment for a long time. And it was just as sweet as he had imagined.

———

The next night, after her coronation at her coronation ball, she wasn’t alone. Instead, she was happily announcing her relationship to anyone who would listen.

Turns out she had gotten her happily ever after, it had just taken a while to get there.

-The End-

(Sondam is good and pure and I love it, it’s my first time writing them and hopefully I did a good job, oh, and the song is also based off of this https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ubBN38hL9KY ! It’s from Shrek the musical which isn’t is as bad as one might think. Anyway, I included some of the lyrics into this, but otherwise the plot is mine, enjoy!)

[hary-and-droc]

CHAPTRE 10

Ginney was walking down the corridor when she came across seamus and deen standing and talking. This confused her because she had not seen either of them without their tongues down the other’s throat, and didnt exactly know what they looked like. Seamus had freckles, apparently.

‘Halla ginney’ said deen.

Ginney took a moment to process what was happeneiing. ‘....halla deen. Halla seamus. What is happening?’

The boys stared longinly at each other. ‘Every time we kiss, climate change becomes more of an issue.’

Ginney was baffled. ‘Hva? Since when!?!?’

Seamus narrowed his eyes. ‘In a potion gone wrong. It happened in potions lessons the other day.’

Deen sighed. ‘Let us demonstrate.’ They kissed.

Ginney suddenly became aware of the polar ice caps melting. They flashed across her mind. How DARE seamus and deen kiss when the ice caps were melting and polar bears were dying and there was an island of rubbish and penguins had plastic around their necks and there was pollution in the moat and the trees were dying. Ginney decided to leave and begin a riot for climate change. She gathered her peers and they began designing posters and inspiriing speeches.

Seamus and Deen decided not to kiss again, at least until an antidote was found. But some promises couldnt be kept. (they kissed 42 times that night)

Thenext day was 1396. Minvery and Hermy were playing wiazard chess on the ground on miversy bedrooms. The two had connected quite a lot over the past two days. Hermy still had the tinglging thought at the back of her mind about her exam, and about getting back to her friends, but every time they went to turn hermy back to her time, someone had always thought of an excuse for her to stay for a little bit more. Hermy wasnt complaing. Mnivery was beautiful and had let hermy borrow some of her (mainly black) clothes.

‘Bam. i win. Again. Best out of three?’ mineery asked.

‘Okay!’ hermy said. ‘But theres no way i’m going to win, even if i beat you in the next game. You’ve already won two.’

‘Best out of ten?”

Hermy agreed. Ten chess games. That would take a lot of time. Good. She got to spend more time with mivery.

‘Pawn to D6.’

Hary and droc left the room or reqipment, blinded by the light. It was day time? ‘We must have stayed the entire night!’ droc muttred. Hary took his hand and smiled. ;lets go down to breakfast.’ Mcognoal walked past them down the hallway, giving them a death glare. ‘A hundred and forty seven, a hundred and-’ (They ignored her)

When they appraoched the GreatHalleOFfOOD, Ginney ran past excitedly, holding multiple pieces of cardboard and two magic marker pens. She was dressed in an odd potato sack - looking outfit, and seemed to be chanting something. A couple of students followed behind, clad in the same clothes, singing a song, somewhat out of tune.

Droc could only make out the phrases: ‘Dogs bark!’ ‘Cappuncino loyalty card’ and ‘better education for our children!’ and wondered what Ginney was up to. Hary, meanwhile, was confused. Wasn’t Ginney crazily in love with him?

It had turned out, that Ginney had focussed her obsession with hary on climate change instead. But hary didn’t know that. And because he was a Pretentious Bitch, he wanted multiple people in love with him because it made him feel Special.

‘Why does Ginney not love me anymor?” he asked droc. ‘Why do you not LOVE ME GINNEY’ hary asked ginney. She ran down the hall, practising her tribal chants instead. Hary dropped drocs hand quickly and followed after her, desperate for attention, in hope that ginney would notice him and try to kiss him, so that he could ignore her and tell her that he had a boyfriend. Droc went to breakfast alone.

Roon was standing in the doorway of TheGreatHalleOFfOOD, gathering a feather and ink from his pocket when Droc arrived. Roon had once again forgotten to put the lip on his ink and there was a large stain acorsshis cloak. Luckily it was black so it didnt matter.

‘What are you up to, roon’ droc asked. Roon and droc were friends now because hary had told roon to be nice to droc or he would steal his pet rat scabber.

‘I’m getting out my stuff becaue i want an autograph. Where’s hary? And where’s hermy. She’s gonn be so mad she missed out on THIS.’ roon said exctiedly.

‘Missed out on what?’

‘Shrek is her fave movie’ roon continued.

‘what s a movie’ droc asked. He was a wizard and didnt know technology. Roon didnt either, and only knew the word bevause hermy told roon it was her fave movie every day. ‘And what is a SHREK’

Roon gestured with his ink stained hand. ‘THAT’S  shrek.’ a big green fella stood in the GreatHalleOFfOOD. Many studenst surrunded him, asking for autographs and trying to get their posters signed. What was this guy doing here? He looked like an orge. And orge’s weren’t good. Maybe if he killed the orge, hary would notice him again. It seemed like a plan. ‘DIE ORGE’

‘A hundred and fifty’ mcamgogo said.

[tonguetiedmag]

review: Hamilton

If you know anything about me (or follow me on any social media platform), you’ll know that I love Hamilton. Yes, the musical about the guy on the ten dollar bill. Ever since I first encountered the magical world of Hamilton via the 2016 Grammys, I was determined to memorize all the lyrics, keep up to date with the cast, and, one day, see it for myself; however, I believed that I would not get to see until years passed by and the craze died down. I didn’t even think I would be able to see it on Broadway.

One night in the beginning of March, made possible solely by an act of kindness, my mom gave me the news that we were going to the Richard Rodgers Theatre on April 21st, 2017 to see Hamilton and there was a slight chance that we could go backstage after the show. I was in shock and couldn’t believe it was finally happening, almost a year after first discovering it. I was overjoyed.

Fast forward almost two months and it was the big day. It was Ham Day, as I referred to it. I left school early and we got on the train. Once we arrived in the city, we went to the Paramount Hotel, which is directly across the street from Richard Rodgers, to check out the Hamilton pop up shop and buy some merchandise. From there we went to our hotel to get ready. By 6:30 we picked up our tickets and found out we were in the seventh row (we had no clue where our seats would be). My mom and I freaked out a little bit. When the doors finally opened at 7:30 and we found our seats, I freaked out even more because, well, we were seeing Hamilton seventh row! I was so nervous and excited that I couldn’t stop shaking. It was so unreal. I was in the room where it happens and I couldn’t believe it.

A little after 8:00, the show started and I was bombarded with tears and emotions, even though the first song is not the slightest bit sad. The Tuesday before my show, Javier Muñoz, who plays Alexander Hamilton, announced that he would not be in the show for at least a week due to a back injury, which made me disappointed because I was so looking forward to seeing him; however, Jevon McFerrin, the standby for Hamilton, blew away all of my doubts and anxieties. He was such an incredible Hamilton. Of course, the rest of the cast, were quite amazing, too. I was blown away by the familiar harmonies and music.

As someone who has dedicated much of their time to listening to the original cast recording, I can tell you that it’s a lengthy musical, at 2 hours and 55 minutes long and 46 songs. When I was in that room, though, it felt like ten minutes. When we reached the final song, I refused to believe it was over. I didn’t understand how all that time had passed already.

After the cast did their final bows, all in a line, one of the newest cast members, James Monroe Iglehart, who plays Marquis de Lafayette and Thomas Jefferson, gave a speech about donating to Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS and auctioned off a freestyled voicemail for the highest bidder after the show (which ended up being 2 of the highest bidders at $2,000 a piece).

As the audience began to clear out, my mom and I made our way over to the door to the backstage area and gave our names and who put us on the list to the woman working there. We patiently waited along with about fifteen other people waiting for their shot to go see what it was like backstage. We were the last ones, but we were finally let in. I was in shock. We were really doing this! The first person we saw was Brian d’Arcy James who originated the role of King George III, but is also known as Hannah Baker’s dad on Thirteen Reasons Why, Shrek from the 2008 musical, Nick Bottom from Something Rotten, and much more. We approached him and asked for a picture, which he gladly agreed to. My mom and I were a little starstruck already. Suddenly my mom says to me, “Is that your guy?” I look over and see a man in a P. Ham hat and immediately recognized him: Anthony Lee Medina (John Laurens and Philip Hamilton), who was the one person I had hoped to meet that night. My mom ran after him and as he approached us, I couldn’t get a word out. He introduced himself, asked what my name was, and, as he realized I was on the verge of tears, enveloped me in a hug and told me, “It’s okay. Don’t cry. We’re all human.” After I calmed down slightly, we took a picture and he signed my mom’s and my Playbills. I was so overwhelmed.

A moment later, a man (who we soon realized is the man who got us backstage) approached my mom, took a few pictures of us on the famous stage, and offered to give us a tour of the actual backstage where the cast quick-changes and the props were held. We walked right into the area where James Monroe Iglehart was recording the voicemails for the two lucky bidders. Once the people left, my mom and I got a picture with James M. Iglehart and J. Quinton Johnson (Hercules Mulligan and James Madison) and chatted for a couple of minutes about the crazy bidding situation that had transpired only moments ago. Then, I spotted Thayne Jasperson (Samuel Seabury, ensemble, and original Broadway cast member), who I had seen enter the theatre earlier that night. I walked over, asked him for a picture, and my mom took the photo.

It was around 11:30 when we finally made our way off stage, bidding farewell to Anthony Lee Medina on our way out. On the cab ride back to the hotel, I was in complete shock. I immediately texted my friends because, well, I had just gone on the Hamilton stage and met a few of my favorite people! For the rest of the night, I was in complete shock. I couldn’t believe that actually happened. It was everything I had ever hoped for and more. I am so grateful for such an amazing weekend.

Article by: Taylor Zmijewski

[im-blue-da-ba-dee-da-ba-baah]

Discovering Imogen Heap

My favorite artist by far is Imogen Heap and for a while now I’ve known that there were some eerie coincidences surrounding her music for me. Since the universe likes to send me messages and signs, I’ve learned that she was always meant to be a part of my life. I’ll explain:

When I was younger, I loved listening to CD’s and I had the soundtrack for Shrek 2. I have no idea how it came into my possession but I was obsessed with this song called “Holding Out For A Hero” by a group called Frou Frou. I always played this song, over and over, to the point of irritating everyone around me. Now, as a little kid, I never really thought to look into the group and since the internet wasn’t exactly as big as it was now, googling them was never really an option. After awhile, I forgot about looking into the group.

A couple years later, the Chronicles of Narnia was released and like most kids, I was obsessed with that movie. I loved finishing the movie to hear this beautiful song being sung about indescribable beauty. It wasn’t until later I learned it was “Can’t Take It In” by Imogen Heap.

A year later, I was watching this movie called The Holiday. One scene struck me from that movie, where one of the characters is in a pub looking for the girl he likes. I fell in love with the song that played over the scene, but it once again, never occurred to me to look it up. It was “Let Go” by Frou Frou.

A few years later, I had gotten into AMV’s (when they were really popular on youtube), and I came across a video of a song called “Not that Big” by Temposhark, which resonated deeply with me since it expressed how I was feeling at the time. I recently found out that Imogen Heap was featured on that song.

Now a year or so after that, a girl I knew who was the daughter of my mom’s friend was hanging out with me. She showed me this video, telling me how funny it was and that this song was hilarious. This was the tipping point for me; the video was SNL’s “Dear Sister” (which of course is the source of the meme).

I didn’t think much of the video for a couple years, but it suddenly came to me one day. I never knew the name of the song, and decided to look it up. That was how I found her. I found “Hide and Seek” became obsessed. After a day or two, I decided to take a look at some of the recommendations Youtube gave me for her other songs.

That was how I discovered the Speak for Yourself album, which felt like home. I spent the next couple of years being consumed by her music. The lyrics were powerful and beautiful. And even when I found songs of hers that I didn’t like, I would go back to them a few years later to find I had fallen in love with them. It was this time when “Hide and Seek” became a meme here on Tumblr. 

It was at this point that a friend had introduced me to Deadmau5. I was enjoying his music, when I came across “Telemiscommunications” which ft. Imogen Heap.

Shortly after, I found her album Ellipse, through listening to “If I Had A Heart” by Fever Ray. The song “Canvas” was in the recommendations and I had never seen it before, it was hers. My love only increased.

Then Sparks was released and it touched me in such a strong way that I can’t describe it. It has become one of my favorite albums by her, even though I love them all.

I don’t have a favorite song by her, because each of them is special in their own way and hold a distinct memory for me. No matter where I am, what situation I’m in, or how I’m feeling, she has a song for me, much like I’m sure she has a song for you too.

 I know some of this seems normal because she’s pretty popular but it’s crazy to me. She was never really spoken about or well known where I grew up yet her music was always there, guiding me in some way. No one I had met, knew who she was or recognized her music, it was just another song to them.

The only thing I can say is that it was fate that I discovered her and fell in love with her music. I hope one day I’ll be able to go see her in concert or at least thank her for all she has done for me, whether she knows it or not.

Oh, and if that wasn’t enough, she’s also a Sagittarius. Which I just found out today. Go figure.