#and then stuck with me bc she was like no this one is special
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just said goodbye to the therapist i've been seeing for the past four years and the only therapist i've ever trusted and i am SO emotional rn, mostly in a good way. it was really special to be able to just talk about everything from the past four years and hear her perspective on exactly how much i've grown. there were so many ways i was hurting so much when i was 18 that i had forgotten about. and she reminded me about how at our first session i said that i didn't think it would be possible for me to have a future at all and then here i am, living out all the dreams of my younger self. i almost started fucking CRYING. she said that she was so honored by the trust i had placed into her, knowing all my institutionalization trauma and it turns out she knew i was lying to her for like the first six months i saw her LMFAO but that she thought it would be worth it if she could prove to me that i could trust her. she read things about disability justice and anticarceral psych inbetween sessions so she could better figure out how to support me and never once threatened to call the cops. idk i just appreciate how much she was there for me over the past four years and it truly feels like the end of an era. just. wow. SO Many emotions
#personal#i feel really good about stopping therapy and i think it was right and she thinks so too#but woah. it's wild to think this person has seen me almost every week for four years. well we switched to every month#the last year.#but she knows SO Much about me and then now i might not ever talk to her again. which is fucking wild!!! it's wild!!!#turns out i was one of her first patients and she usually didn't take 18 year olds but bc her practice was so new she was like sure yeah#and then stuck with me bc she was like no this one is special#sorry im just an emotional mess rn. in a good way#so proud of myself. and grateful for everyone who got me to this point
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Yangchen and Aang: *trying to hold onto what Air Nation qualities they have while still performing their duties* Disha, to Roku: You are a spirit of NO Nation. Me: ??????
#Dishaaaaaaaaa#dishaaaa what do you mean DISHAAAAAA#me: *trying to rip apart her psychology with like the 3 lines I have from her*#i know it's a set up for Ta Min to be like “no you're a spirit of ALL Nations! :D” but stilllll I'm stuck on Disha rn#is she trying to get him detached from all the nations? not just fire? is this a detachment lesson?#but the avatar can never fully detach.....#silly talks#it's just interesting how RoR they are trying REALLY HARD to strip away his Fire National heritage#and how Yangchen/Aang struggle to keep hold of theirs#and how Korra's during S2 takes sides#(is it suppose to be a parallel to kyoshi?)#(kyoshi tries to distance herself from her own nation on her OWN not bc someone tells her to)#(kyoshi's also special cause she had a duality going on but that's a different topic)#reckoning of roku#roku#hmmmmmmnmmm#i have to re-read RoR maybe there's something I missed but I DON'T WANT TO RE-READ ROR IT SUUUUUCKS TT0TT#funny how disha says this and then gets the damn Air Nation involved to fuck Kyoshi over#It's weird they single Roku/FN out... is it because its the Fire Nation?#and is it bc of what the FN is GOING to do? Or is it bc of Szeto?#Cause I think it's foreshadowing for the former and....I don't like it#It's not good foreshadowing. It's foreshadowing that doesn't make sense#it feels like “oh you better distance yourself from ur country now buddy! cause they're abt to do something bad!” kind of foreshadowing#instead of like “that pebble lek picked up and is the same one that Kyoshi will use to kill Jianzhu”#Like the former feels PANDERING to ATLA rather than it making sense in the story#roku salt#(i'm working on the asks I swear~!)#this just popped into my head and I-RAAHHHBAHBJFJKLDSAJF TT0TT
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so uh. that 2.2 Special Program, huh
#hsr#honkai star rail#hsr 2.2#hsr spoilers#hsr leaks#the body of this post reads as far less enthusiastic than i really am#i just don’t know how to casually return from my latest 2 week hiatus only to gush abt a game i’ve hardly blogged abt before#but i’m not making a whole ass sideblog for it like i did for Genshin. nah y��all r gonna bear witness to my fixation with this one#so anyways don’t mind me. vibrating into another dimension with anticipation for the next 11 days#it’s insane man. a year ago i Never ever woulda thought i’d be so invested in this game. and it took Months for the game to really grab me#but i’m v glad i kept coming back even when i was struggling to really get into it. like i just had this feeling that if i stuck around and#gave the game a chance to really like. come into its stride. i just always felt like there was Something there and i just hadn’t found it#and holy shit i finally found it in Penacony. the devs really truly outdid themselves with this region and these characters and this story#not to discount everything that’s happened prior. like i was genuinely Liking it all before now but i wasn’t Loving it y’know#but that may be more a ‘me having to fight tooth n’ nail to force myself to consume new media’ thing than it is a matter of the actual game#anyways i came here to talk abt the program! bc since i’m not filming my HSR stuff i’m gonna be insufferable abt it on Tumblr instead ! :)#and i’m probably not filming any more Genshin stuff. or anything else at all for that matter but let’s not talk abt that dead dream#pun not intended lmao. Anyways let’s return to the subject at hand while there’s still room left in these tags shall we#i’m so fucking glad they had Aventurine on this program man. especially since he’s leaked to only have 18 lines in 2.2… it was nice to see-#-him here at least 🥹 i’ll take what i can get. his unenthusiastic little bird noises at the beginning.. him being reluctant to come out..#the way one of the first things to come out of his mouth was ‘y’know DR RATIO once told me…’ like boy we get it ur in love with him 🙄 (/J!)#i love how they can’t go on these programs w/o talking abt each other it’s adorable. AND THE WAY HE WAS THE ONE TO EXPLAIN BOOTHILL’S KIT!?#they can’t just fuel my crackship like this… god and his whole ‘muddle-fudger.. son-of-a-nice-lady?’ thing had me wheezing#Aven mocking Boothill’s inability to curse was not on my special program bingo card but fuck i’m here for it#and Robin being all curious abt him was so cute.. ‘who /is/ he? … does he order milk at the bar?’ i’m crying she’s so sweet#also the trailer was fucking insane. which feels redundant as hell bc all of HoYo’s version trailers go hard but like. still. wow.#that millisecond long shot of Boothill surveying the skyline is so fucking good. also what the fuck is Jing Yuan doing here!!#not complaining at all tho. we’ve got JY & DH(IL?). Argenti(?). Boothill. Sunday. Aven. all my men r here and i am eating so fucking good#Seven.txt#viddy game stuff
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very very personal, just insight into where im at w my family and things that bother me/have encouraged me to move out
"i know youre moving out so im just gonna say no ones kicking you out and if you feel like this is something you have to do then ok"
thanks! i know im not being kicked out! but yknow i kinda yet a weird vibe when your out of touch husband takes me to a cemetery to yell at me, tell me im just like my father/dont give my father "the time of day", and that im "mean to people who care about me" in front of his dead mother's grave in a poor attempt at guilting me out of speaking my mind. but no yeah thanks for stating the fucking obvious that im leaving on my own terms
#problems!#people seem to underestimate how quick i am to make moves#the job market is piss. cant believe yall two would blame me for being unemployed when all i do from rise to slumber is hound ppl for jobs#im not going to stay in a house where i will be 'scared straight'. that shit doesnt work on me. in fact it has the opposite effect#i respect yall even LESS now#and youre so so fucking lucky one of my goals for next year is to make things right with you it would be easy to cut you off forever#same way i did with my abusive transphobic dad.#my mom is someone i know can do better and can actually listen to reason instead of being stuck in her generation's mentality of#'x is easy if you just do y. you kids have it so easy the world is at your fingertips' blah blah fucking blah#i am autistic i do not keep jobs easily. i am trans jobs do not want me. i am black and perceived as a woman. every customer at all of my#past jobs thinks i am rude or mean or have an attitude when i do nothing but treat others the exact way i would want to be treated#customers dont like what i say? i stop talking. customers dont like when i dont talk? i talk to them. rinse repeat#like i know im the problem here but all of my problems circle back to my autism and the fact that because im not a supergenius or#someone whose special interest is capitalism i fail at every avenue i try to jam myself in.#but yeah no i need to work harder i need to be taken to a FUCKING CEMETERY and yelled at by YOUR HUSBAND for wanting to go to the bathroom#in front of his mothers grave. god rest her soul and yall know im no christian so i actually mean that shit#because in his mind all i want to do is smoke and party. when i smoke because i have fucking migraines and g to shows#(two out of three of them being free and for the purpose of their willingness to 'get me out of the house')#bc i like music and i like engaging w my scene. but no its all violent noise theres no actual purpose or activism behind moshing. nope#its just one big party right. im just wasting my time right. because i like sleepin on a couch every night with no doors to close. yep ok#anyway heres to me getting my meds getting the fuck out and being somewhat far from my scene now that im moving#hows that for smoking and partying all the time huh?#if any of yall read this i am so so sorry. bitching about my stepdad will become a thing i think#hes one of those bible thumpers that are totally boring and indifferent to differences around them and thinks my mom is just like him#in some ways? she is. but she is a people pleaser and will never take her wants or her feelings seriously#because she had the unfortunate upbringing in being brainwashed into thinking her feelings/wants are sinful#shoutout to my christian or catholic mutuals who are fucking normal and dont let some old fantasy novel control your life. peace#religion mention
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Day 27 - Memory - Altani - G
Summary: Altani’s echo manifested differently than her fellow warriors of light.
Ok so this one is basically just a summary so I don’t forget an idea I’ve had for a while, lol. Just like Krile’s echo gives her fancy empathy powers, I tweaked most of my WoLs’ echoes to give them a bit of extra flavor. Luvon’s was touched on/implied a bit in ‘tempest’ this year, and Cahsi’s was in ffxivwrite2022 I believe, I can’t remember the prompt, but it’s on ao3. So it’s time for Altani!
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Altani first saw The Starshower in her dreams around the time she met Mogren, almost got her brother killed, and that the entire village determined she was destined to be their next priestess and medium. It was a lively few weeks for sure, everything interconnected. She wasn’t even ten summers old yet, but even so, she understood deep in her bones that it was a turning point in her life. The gate was locked behind her, and whatever had awoken inside her was there to stay. Her life from then on would be full of deceit–lies she had to tell to others, and lies she kept all for herself.
She had no idea what her dreams meant. That they were a memory. That they would provide her an advantage on her path to greatness. The dreams were scary, and far too real, and instead of offering her comfort as she woke crying and screaming, the elders would praise her for unlocking the ability to see into death itself. They’d ruffle her hair and pat her on the back, telling her to keep training so she could convene with her ancestors and grant them wisdom. She kept up the farce for the sake of Mogren, who’d been mistaken as a spirit Altani regularly spoke to, but it was so much less and more than that.
In Altani’s head, The Starshower was always Capitalized, because it was very Important. She didn’t know why, but it was a feeling in her tummy she refused to ignore.
Sometimes she’d wake and remember in perfect clarity as the sky rained fire and desperate screams reverberated all around her. Never was she able to tear her gaze from the sky above, to witness who was with her, what the landscape looked like. It was just the dark red night full of smoke and embers, blazing bright trails falling toward her. It had to be stars. What else could be falling? What could cause such a thing to happen? What if the dream was an omen of things to come? What if it sucked her inside, and she became one of those falling stars, burning up before she could even hit the ground?
Other times, Altani would wake with a sense of unease, far more tired than was reasonable, completely tangled in her sheets as sweat coated her brow, and she just Knew that she had dreamt of The Starshower.
It would only make sense years later, after speaking with the Scions of the Seventh Dawn, that she wasn’t alone. There were others who witnessed The Starshower, and it granted them special gifts. That her nightmares were actually a boon, a gift from the goddess of the star herself. But it would be many years before that point, and not even Mogren could understand her plight as a child.
She turned it into a game, pretending The Starshower really was giving her the ability to delve into the lifestream and pluck stories and messages from long-dead tribe members. Each star that fell was just another of her ancestors coming by to say hello. They were already dead, so they couldn’t feel pain! The screams were actually high-pitched laughs. Her ancestors sure were silly, weren’t they, pulling a prank like that on her. It made lying to everyone easier, and sleeping became a little bit easier too. She was brave, and no way was The Starshower going to overpower her! The dreams became less frequent as she got older, and instead a few other types of visions manifested in her. It wasn’t often, but it did help with her priestess duties.
Every so often, when someone talked to her–most often when reminiscing about something from their past–she’d suddenly be swept away and forced to bear witness to the moment they were talking about. It was as though she were there with them, as though she could alter reality if she just reached out and tried (she couldn’t, of course. She was an invisible entity able only to watch, but in the beginning she had wanted to find out. Thank Hydaelyn it was just a memory; to warp reality would have been too much power for a child who wished to have control over something in her life to have.) She got to witness the truth, even if the teller couldn’t remember it correctly themself or were lying for one reason or another. The downside was appearing as though she had been spaced out for a few minutes, followed by a wicked headache, but it was easy enough to write that one to the villagers as ‘divine communication’. She often used this to her advantage later, recalling the collected memories to help give merit to her own lies that she wove for the villagers about their dead loved ones and advice for their future. The best lies had a grain of truth to them, after all. Rarer, by quite a margin, were visions Altani had no idea how to explain or what they even were. It wouldn’t be until her trip to Norvrandt, well into her adventuring career, that she would begin to understand. Once in a blue moon, something would trigger her to view whoever she was looking at or speaking to in a different light. It started like a memory, with her surroundings fading out and transporting her somewhere else, but instead of seeing the person the vision was about, she saw someone else. Altani didn’t have the gift of aethersight, but she had a feeling, an instinct, that she learned to accept. The vision was about a different version of the person. Sometimes they looked very similar to nearly identical to the person in question, while other times, their race, gender, skin or fur color–everything about them was different. Except the eyes. That was the one factor that didn’t seem to change. Whatever eye color the present person who triggered the vision had, there would be at least a hint of that same color in there for the person in the vision. Even if they changed into a creature with limited eye colors! As much as she’d hoped this was perhaps the key to unlocking real medium powers so she could talk to her ancestors, it wasn’t meant to be. She never met any of her ancestors that way, as most of visions she saw weren’t of au ra, nor did they take place in the Azim Steppe. The second type of vision was far more confusing and far less useful to her, so Altani didn’t much care for them, waiting for them to pass and observing only with a passing interest, for the most part. It was strange, being privy to other versions of people she met, when those same people had no idea about or access to those alternate realities. She tried not to dwell too much on those.
Some part of her wished she could have seen another Altani, though. Would they share her same gifts, her same curses? Would they be strong or weak, a natural crafter or a clumsy disaster? Were they a hunter, or a fisher, or a teacher? Would they become a parent, a merchant, a leader? Was their life a lie, forced to pretend they’re something they’re not to keep their village happy and their friend safe? Maybe they led a normal, mundane life, and would grow up to be nobody of import. Altani’s visions didn’t work on herself, so she’d never know what any other Altani was doing except herself. Maybe it was better that way, so she couldn’t become jealous of a life she couldn’t have.
When she became an adventurer, met her fellow Warriors of Light, and discovered they had similar experiences with The Starshower and being forced into people’s memories, she hid her relief behind false bravado and a strong clap on the back. It was like the weight of Hydaelyn had been lifted from her shoulders, learning her affliction had such a tiny, unassuming name as the echo. That there was an entire group of people studying it, and that this thing she’d been confused and frightened about and taking advantage of for so long already was considering a blessing from the goddess Hydaelyn herself. Hear, Feel, Think, indeed.This gift was shared among a select few, and they were often destined for greatness, which was all she strived for these days. She wanted to be strong enough to protect everyone without the power to do it themselves. She knew what it felt like to be powerless and scared, and so she would ensure to keep others from those awful feelings as much as she could.
While the others shared in most of the same echo traits, none of them ever saw those other versions of people or at least made no mention of it, so Altani kept that close to her chest. Only Mogren knew about that little trait, and they’d probably forgotten about it by now, since she only mentioned it a few times when she was younger and never again.
Luckily, she’d never had to deal with seeing other versions of her family of friends, but of course that changed when she started adventuring with those others who shared in the gift. Maybe it just triggered more easily for those who’d also seen The Starshower?
During one of her travels with Luvon, she’d had a vision that couldn’t have been of his past, as it took place in a gigantic forest unlike anything that existed on the mainland. Small streams of unnatural, sickly white light passed through the foliage and dappled the ground. She saw a young qiqirn and an older one carving tablets together. The younger had a yellow-green glint of excitement in their eyes as they speculated about what lay in the ruins, and what their home had been like before a flood of some kind. A fear years later is when that ‘memory’ clicked into place. Her moment of breakthrough came through after she was transported to the First. When all major threats were done being taken care of with Cahsi and Luvon, she was helping the Qitari unearth their history. Among the group in Hopl's Stopple, she noticed the pair she’d seen in her vision. Huh. So the person she’d seen in that vision was not a qiqirn at all, but their equivalent on the First, a qitari. Someone from a completely different shard… She observed them from afar, not wanting to barge in with nonsensical questions, but seeing how the little qitari acted and interacted with others, she could definitely see the similarities between them and Luvon. It was incredibly strange, but she’d come to realize by now that nothing was too strange for this universe.
Despite having fragments of the same soul, they were still their own people. She’d accepted that already with all the visions she’d seen throughout the years. Nobody acted exactly like their other version’s self, even if there were similarities. Ardbert was pretty different from Cahsi, for example. Altani could have smacked herself realizing one of her echo visions of either Cahsi or Ardbert were not about the memory of their meeting and showdown, but rather showing her that they were apparently versions of one another. That news sure might have come in handy before they had to defeat Emet-Selch–but then again, maybe not. Maybe it would have been even harder or weirder for Cahsi to let go. She’d made a close friend of the warrior in her time on the first, and had taken it hard when he had to leave. Altani had finally been able to meet him a few times before the end, thanks to some ingenious spellwork and alchemy on Cahsi’s part. It was sad that he had to rejoin Cahsi, but it was his own choice, and Ardbert had already been dead for so long, so that’s probably why he was able to do so in the first place. Altani wasn’t about to subscribe to the now-dead ascian’s idea that rejoining all shards of the soul into one was the only way to truly exist and lead a worthwhile life. From what she’d seen, other shards were doing just fine for themselves–independently!
That said, she was pretty sure if she introduced Luvon to his qitari counterpart, that nothing would happen unless one of them were to die. Maybe. She certainly didn’t want to test that, it was a horrifying thought. They’d probably stay two separate entities, none the wiser of their status as parts of one larger, more powerful soul at one point.
Really, this was all a lot to take in and think about, and nobody she wanted to discuss it with. It gave her a headache. One day, she’d figure this out with her friends. Maybe it was selfish to keep this from them, but she’d seen the heartbreak Cahsi went through with Ardbert, and she just felt it was best at this time. They had enough worries on their plate as it was.
#ffxivwrite2024#ffxivwrite#ffxiv oc#altani wu#ok I lost steam on this one very quickly lol but!#this wasn't meant to have any plot anyway and rather meant as a way for me to remember what I planned for Altani's special echo power! woo!#because I was flip flopping for a long time if I wanted her to just see past reincarnations of people oooor#the more ironic one that ended up being what I stuck with. Which was viewing a soul's other shard's versions#because that's like just so unhelpful for her charade of being able to speak to spirits#like yeah hi I got a glimpse of our family's souls#but THE WRONG ONES lmao#also the hilarity of being so confused for 20 some odd years then getting hit with the urianger speech about shards#and meeting another version of your friend from the source on the first and connecting the dots like WAIT I'VE SEEN U BEFORE WE MET. WHAT--#maybe after SHB/EDW she does tell her buds about her strange ability but until then that's one tightly kept secret bc it's too weird 4 her#I also had the silly idea of extending Altani's powers to seeing the multiverse#aka witnessing OG DnD Luvon and BG3 Luvon and being like damn. Why does your bf explode tragically in every universe lmao#that was more of a comic idea though that i have wanted to doodle for a while.#mango writes
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SHES JUST THE SWEETEST LITTLE BABY GIRL!!!!! AND IM SEEING HER AGAIN TOMORROW!!!!!!!
#one thing that stuck out when i did this encounter was when she was touching my hand she would kinda sway up and down with the water#but she kept pushing herself back up so she was touching me as much as she could#and i know they trained her to do that for the photo ops and it makes sense#but it was so sweet to me like she didn't just tap me she kept coming back for a good like 15 - 20 seconds 😭#and it reminded me in the moment how intelligent she is#i think at first it kinda didnt feel like real life and i wasnt processing what was happening#but when i noticed that i was like wait. this is a living breathing thinking conscious intelligent creature right here#so intelligent and special that i care deeply about how her species is treated#and i wouldn't even be here if i didn't know that it is the best possible place for her to be. and i actively boycott similar but bad places#and she is making a concious effort to be in as much contact with me as possible#and i KNOW she does it for everyone#but i kinda fully believe that she looked in my eyes and knew that i loved her on a more profound level than everyone else#and im kinda joking. but kinda not#ok goodnight for real bc i need to be rested to see my angel babygirl sweetie pie loml tomorrow :)#whales
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no yeah I’m getting def getting reassessed for adhd because this ain’t it, chief
#sillyposting#2 more friends just told me I sound like them when they’re off their meds. cool cool cool#my mom said today I make her anxious because she worries about my deadlines more than I do lol#being a student again has really made me say yeah girl you really ARE a hot mess#unfortunately my next appointment with my NP is in a month and they don’t have anything sooner#just refer me somewhere now mannn I wanna get on a waitlist 😓#I’m genuinely in distress trying to focus on important tasks due to boredom#I could be writing rn *buzzer noise* I could just do this tomorrow *buzzer noise*#I already have 30 tasks overdue. what’s one more? what’s the rush? *buzzer noise*#making a to-do list is boring and also scary therefore I refuse to do it *buzzer noise*#I could be sleeping right now *buzzer noise*#I could be researching and writing a paper on a special interest right now *buzzer noise*#I have no concept of what all I need to get done but it’s okay bc my happiness right now is more important#*buzzer noise*#I have no clue what any of my classmates are talking about#because I haven’t kept up with the readings and assignments like they did#but that’s okay I’ll catch up later *buzzer noise*#I’ll take a break and come back. I’ll take a break and come back. I’ll take a break and come back. *buzzer noise*#I’ll start this task and switch to this next one and man I’m bored so I’ll go to the next thing I need to do and man this is boring too#*buzzer gets stuck*#tired of life being one never-ending game of catch-up. I just want to do things without needing a gun to my head#I’ve BEEN saying saying this since high school
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Thinking About Her* Again
* the Lenovo Yoga Book 9i gen 9 (13" intel) that i absolutely can't afford and definitely don't need
#shes so special to me. silly little laptop with 2 screens you KNOW theyll never make one like her again.#i want this laptop so bad bc it's just. its so silly but in a way that actually some thought went into it#sorry ive decided to migrate things i'd tweet to here so now you're all stuck with these kinds of random thoughts i have#occasionally ill just Think about laptops and phones I don't need but i think are neat & cool#zenphone 10 & framework pc you live in my heart#as does the motorola razr pro which is also a lenovo product bc they're apparentky trying to be king of silly#the portable ThinkVision being one of them like the name alone is Peak Silly but then it looks like that. sleek but also stupid. perfect.#present ramblings
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You understand Junko and her character better than her creators do ~♡
Thank you very much!!! She’s special to me, I fully believe she wasn’t meant to be written as tragic as she is, but if you look at what got her there she’s such a tragedy. I’m in strong belief that The Tragedy wouldn’t have happened (or at the very least could have been controlled) if Hope’s Peak wasn’t run like that, and if she had gotten help. With the way that school functioned, Junko was inevitable.
She’s very special to me. I’m happy people enjoy my interpretation of her!! I’ll be doodling her more from a fucked up little AU my brother and I have soon so look out for a revamped Survivor!Junko design!!
#Much appreciated many thanks#she’s so special to me#ask box#she LOVED HIM OKAY SHE LOVED HIM#okay maybe adding in the tags a bit#but as someone who heavily disassociates and goes through waves of apathy#of COURSE damage is a way for her to feel something#bc being stuck like that. something is better than the endless nothing#she needed love and support and therapy and instead she was in the MODELING INDUSTRY#what a horrible place for any young person#but she had already lost so much#just!!! yknow!!!!! aaaaa!!!!#outing myself as a Junko kinnie but it’s because of THIS#she’s tragic she’s lost she just needs help but no one would help her other than OTHER CHILDREN#ITS NOT MATSUDA’S JOB TO SAVE HER#HE ALSO SHOULDNT HAVE BEEN IN THAT POSITION#fuck Jin Kirigri and fuck hopes peak for forcing these kids to be greater than most adukts without the thought of a support system
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sometimes i randomly remember things about my childhood! (neko atsume)
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#i miss the games i used to play as a kid !! on browser or mobile or whatever !!#there's this one. ps2 or ps3 game me and lune used to play a lot and we once looked for it years ago and found it again#but now. ever since then. we can't :(( i still remember jumping... and then that waterfall......#kh is so special to me. only ever played a bit of 1 and then the full of 3 so i am very weird but. yeah!#i never got off the island! and then . that really stuck /pos and then i got into kh3 yeaaaars after#bcs my aunt (bless her. shes the one who gets us into a lot of games ngl) got kh3 but she didnt. really like it if i'm not mistaken#understandable but i still really enjoyed kh3 hehe ^^ even w its imperfections! game was kinda ya fr but <3#and then i really just. realized. that oh! this is something from my childhood!!#anyways yeah most of all i probably miss ofc the memories#but also the games on browser. jmkit was smth i really remember LOL i was a roleplay kid fr lmfaooo#BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT. since uhh. that thing people used to do games n stuff on browser shut down#ig ever since then i've not played on browser as often! ig that's one reason why i really like gbf#it's better for me to play in the app on my phone but also browser is just. really nice for numerous reasons ofc#but also it reminds me of that !! anyways i rmbr the bartender game so well#and the one w the haunted house and the ghosts good gods the games i liked to play as a kid#lowkey really make sense LMFAO SOME OF THEM WERE REALLY. untitled goose game vibes fr#yeah i once got scammed on this one browser game. i was so sad LMFAO BLESS I NEVER USED MY ACTUAL EMAIL#<- back then my emails were random ones like. they always were to do w crystals tho#so you can see one reason why raha is vv special to me :] awh man i used to be a mlp kid. good times#mhm yeah ... !! i used to be super into lego too. movies games and ofc the toys and all. hehe#tbh a lot of these stuff i actually do want to get back into. its less... 'growing out of it' for me and more 'growing into other things'#as i age and having to actually manage my time now. and the reality of being an adult somewhat soon is. there#and i don't think peer pressure affects me as much as... some but it's also quite there. i want to fit in... kinda? not really? kinda?#whoops that took a turn. help. ANYWAYS BACK TO IT ARGHH I MISS THOSE WEBSITES !!!!!#wordguy or something awh man no wonder i was a smart and nerdy kid and until now. i was always into those stuff#fun fact kid me i liked to collect paper. mostly so i could write but yeah. fun fact i also was known as the jacket kid in like idk 6th#grade and 5th? bcs i always wore my jacket even w ph weather being the way it is <3#yk change is scary. im a sentimental person! its so scary but at the same time so cool n interesting#sigfjsbdkdbskdn. interesting how all we come across in life (esp as kids!) shape and change us
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imo good character-establishing things to have for pcs are like
- the usual why are they on this adventure, why are they w this group, etc
- what's one personality trait that drives them to do the stupid but fun thing
- what's one aspect that might make them act in ways contrary to how they do normally (including Not doing the stupid thing if it wouldn't be fun)
that last one is beneficial for the collaborative aspect of ttrpgs: if everyone else wants to do x, & as a player u wanna cooperate but ur pc would be opposed, how can u navigate that? there's still times to dig ur heels in, but often I've found more value in establishing Why or How my character can be convinced to go along w smth anyway
also just. ppl contradict themselves sometimes, & having even a simple sense of that in ur pcs can both make rp richer & assist in collaborating w the other ppl at ur table
#for example one of my fave moments w my first urban shadows pc (sloane - a fae)#was when we visited the winter court as a party & bc shes a winter fae she got to meet the king#mind u. sloane had spent the Entire game hiding from winter ppl bc she ran away & was scared shed get in trouble#but when the option to Go To The Realm Of Winter came up i was like. okay. everybody else wants to do this. ooc i wanna do this too.#it wouldve been perfectly ic for sloane to refuse but that wouldnt have been fun! so instead#we had a scene where she found out the court had known where was the whole time she was on the run and she went Hey What The Fuck?#you couldve dragged me back the whole time and you Didnt? excuse me? am i not special enough for that??#im offended open the fuckin door so i can go tell the king how cool i am & demand why he didnt want me back more#& like that established So much character for her! shes v prideful to the point of recklessness! & not only was playing that up more fun#it also resulted in a rlly cool session that i wouldnt have gotten to play if she just said No#anyway can u tell i have Opinions lmao#esp on that last point <3#as a dm ive had to manage issues amongst my players multiple times bc ppl get stuck in the mindset of 'but its what my char would do'#even as it gets in the way of collaborative storytelling and actively rankles their friends at the table ooc#ur character can do other things too bud. u just gotta be willing to compromise#okay tangents over ive just been Thinkin#sorrel speaks#dnd#<- does tumblr still only put the first 5 tags in search results. god i hope so i want this in my tag not the main one
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so tired of "cool kid" cliques bc the kids in it often aren't even cool, just assholes, and they're also usually boring as fuck w 0 talents besides maybe sportsball.
#im so BOOOOORED OF YOU#*glares at the recent shit going on on twitch*#and any of the people praising those idiots are the same idiots who'd do anything to be part of the clique meanwhile never truly being#invited. i promise they will never welcome you. they've made their personality into being assholes and bc they're so convinced they're#right to judge people that way their confidence convinces other people#truly these people need to be smacked and brought down a fuckin peg so they know they cant keep propping themselves up as super special#you're 'cool' but you cant even fight i bet huh bud#all those muscles and for what.#for fucking what.#often if you strip these people of their conventional eurocentric attractiveness (yeah frogan looks white idc what you say lmao)#no one would think they're popular and would just find them to be stuck up assholes.#not sure who needs to hear this but a good way to actually judge people correctly is to imagine they looked like the least attractive perso#to you. and then listen to the shit they say. and then come and tell me how cool and fine it is actually and how you totally listen to#other streamers who are less attractive who say the same shit and you're totally totally not just following what hasan says all the time#bc you think hes attractive. thats toooooooootally not the reason. surely not. esp for these fandom brained far left idiots. surely not.#😒😒😒😒😒😒😒 yall are so fucking transparent lmao.#theres a specific person ik that if i could force her to see hasan as ugly and then start listening to him i might actually be able to get#through to her. bc ik for a FACT thats the only reason she likes him. ik her too damn well lmao.#tell me about how you totally listen to mikefrompa as well as hasan and aren't inherently repelled by whatever he says bc you find him#less attractive. im begging you to try to lie to me about that.
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I love the idea of being a woman with a signature scent but I do fear that will never be me
#I have and have had more perfume than the vast majority of people#because my mom used to sell it and she would bring home a ton of testers and samples#but it just never stuck with me!#I wear it for special occasions (when I remember)#but I’ve never come close to making it a habit#but I just have sooo much perfume that I own and never wear#idk!!!!#and I’m still like oh but I bet if I get this discovery set I’ll finally figure out my Scent !#I have mostly very very feminine perfume though#and I really prefer a more unisex scent#like I got briefly obsessed with maison margiela replica by the fireside#but I want something more summery bc that one is soooo wintery
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Can you write some fake dating with lando pretty please🥹
HATE ME - LN4
listen up : no warnings!! hope you enjoy bc i got stuck on this so bad😘 lando x popstar!reader
word count : 1886
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“Y/n!” A reporter yells at me as I walk up the paddock, “Y/n! What are you doing?”
I slow down and laugh a bit, “Looking for my boyfriend!”
“What’s your thoughts with him coming off a win, think he can swing it?” I roll my eyes playfully.
“I certainly think he can! America has been great to him before.” They laugh, knowing I'm not just talking about his win but also myself.
“How about your upcoming album!?” A woman asks, my mood already improving, “Any details you can share?”
I’m about to respond when I feel arms wrap around my waist, “Hi pretty.” He says in my ear but just loud enough to be heard.
I smile and brush my hand against his arm, “Lan!”
He looks up at the reporters, pointing to them, “You lot back off! She’s my good luck charm this weekend!”
We walk away, I glance up to Lando’s face to see him smiling. I can’t help but be surprised for the millionth time, he’s a damn good actor.
The second we get inside, doors shut and nobody around, Lando drops his hands off me. “Hi Pretty.” I mock his accent as he rolls his eyes.
My fake boyfriend strides across the room, grabbing his water bottle. He's in a Mclaren shirt and jeans, his curls perfect and defined.
“You really need to stop swerving my lips when we’re in public.” I plop down on the couch and try to tune him out, it doesn’t work. “People are starting to notice.”
I text my manager back as he complains, “I’ve never shown any PDA with my ex’s. You’re not special, Norris.”
I ignore the way his bicep moves when he pushes off the couch, “Well I have.”
“You don’t think regular couples settle on my side for this? I didn’t think you were thirsting for me that much.”
He scoffs and I know I got him there, “I’m just saying! It’s not normal.”
“Of course you’d think that, all you and your ex’s did was make out in public!” His manager walks in just then before he can respond.
Point, Y/n.
“Will you two keep it down?” He groans, “Just because you argue like an old married couple, doesn’t mean it fits your roles! Lando, it’s media time.”
“Talk about me.” I mumble as he walks out.
“Can I announce our breakup?” He eyes me before shutting the door. I breathe out, just trying to get through this weekend.
⋆。‧˚⋆
P1 in qualifying, great. I act all happy and actually kiss him this time. I don’t agree with the majority of what he says but even my manager told me I need to do a tiny bit more.
Lando and I’s… agreement, is complicated and completely necessary for our careers. I’m rising to fame and he’s falling in the dumps with all his media scares.
After a mini scandal broke about me, Lando and I met. We were drunk and totally out of depth. He told the paparazzi outside the bar that we were dating and I had kissed him like I believed it.
Everything went up in flames but through the fire our teams decided to come up with this whole fake dating thing. I make him look good, the unproblematic, pretty, popstar. He added an edge to me and brought quite a few new fans.
But most of all, after his lie to the public was splashed over every media surface, the picture of my lips against his, I couldn’t just back out. He would have looked like a player (because he was one) and I would have been labeled a slut.
So now i’m at the paddock every weekend, planning my own shows and sporting him in the crowd. My fans eat it up though, he’s hot, rich and british.
Lando doesn’t listen to his brain before his mouth opens and once when someone asked what he thought about my performance he replied with, “She’s insane and beautiful and way too talented to be my girlfriend.” That sealed it for everyone.
He kisses my cheek, winking. He’s not all bad, even though I can’t really stand him it’s not like he’s disrespectful or rude to me.
Lando gets pulled away for media and I find myself watching his interview with Alexandra, Charles’ girlfriend. We’re not watching our ‘boyfriends’ at all, gossiping about the celebrities that are coming this weekend.
⋆。˚⋆
LANDOS POV
The reporter is saying things but I’m distracted. My eyes keep wandering past the man in front of me and going to my ‘girlfriend’.
She’s talking to Alex, flipping his hair over her shoulder and grinning. She never smiles like that with me.
I answer another question but it’s half assed and I don’t really care. I watch her jaw move as she talks, how she jumps up and down when she’s talking about something she loves, she crosses her ankles and pinches the bridge of her nose.
I’m suddenly feeling very left out of the conversation and don’t realize the reporter is repeating my name, “Lando?” I rip my eyes away from her a he looks to what I was looking at.
He’s smiling when he turns back to me, “Distracted… Sorry.” I scratch the back of my back, looking down and smiling as the man laughs.
⋆。‧˚⋆
Y/NS POV
What is he playing at? I’ve been tagged in a million clips of Lando’s interview. The way he looked at me- fuck! He’s so confusing I hate him.
This weekend has felt forever long and it’s not even over. Lando and I go to a little house party, weird for the day before a race but none of the guys seem bothered by it.
In fact, everyone’s having fun. It’s like watching impending doom, knowing they’re all about to mess with each other on the track.
Lando obviously isn’t drinking and since he’s driving, I down a glass with Alex and Lily as soon as I step in the door.
Someone has rented an airbnb and it’s gorgeous. Not too big, but a nice fire in the back and a huge living room.
“I’m gonna go talk to Carlos.” Lando’s hand drifts off me as he walks away. I barely even realized his touch, I'm getting too comfortable with it.
“Girl!” Rebecca, Carlos’ girlfriend, says to me, “I’ve never seen Lando this in love!” The only people who know Lando and I aren’t actually together is Alex, Lily, Alexandra, possibly Charles, Oscar, and Carlos.
Lily and Alex sip their drinks beside me as I blink, pausing for too long. I laugh and smile, “You’re sweet.”
“I’m serious!” She continues, “Those eyes, it’s unmistakable!” Something about it makes me sad. Because Lando doesn’t actually like me at all? Or because whenever I get a glimpse of that look, it’s always in public?
Lily changes the subject with remarkable speed, Alex hands me another drink and I sigh a thank you.
The night goes on, it’s slow and nice to have a simple sort of get together instead of how Lando likes to party.
Speaking of, my fake boyfriend dances up to me as I laugh out of embarrassment, he takes my hand and pulls me outside. I look back to Alexandra who just shrugs and watches me leave.
I smile at Lily who’s sitting on Alex’s lap. I sit next to Lando around the fire, I'm getting tired and a bit tipsy. I rest my head on his shoulder as everyone talks.
I can’t think about why he brought me over here. It’s not like I’m contributing to the conversation in a big way.
“What!? Lily was my idol before I got into F1!” I agree with her, she claims I didn’t like her but I was following her for months!
“You were so intimidating!” She shakes her head.
“You are intimidating.” Lando speaks up as I eye him. Lily’s eyes flicks down to my hand then my face then back to my hand.
I give her a confused look before glancing at my hand, Lando’s fingers are stretched over it, spinning my own ring around my middle finger.
I avoid Lily’s eyes as I look up at Lando, “Excuse me?”
“You are!” he argues, “The first time we met I was scared shitless.” I shake my head and finish my drink, my body warm and buzzing.
Charles and Carlos both laugh as Carlos speaks, “Fuck I remember that! At that club? He had like five shots to hype himself up.”
The firelight shines on Lando’s face as his cheeks go pink, “Worked a bit too well.” I find a small smile on my face. I never knew that.
People slowly start leaving, Alex and Lily leave us outside to help cleanup. His hand leaves mine, I rest my arms under my head, leaning on his chair as he looks down at me.
“Saw you talking to Franco…” He slyly mentions.
“What now, Norris, you jealous?” His jaw ticks.
“Just saying it’s not a good look for my girlfriend to be flirting with someone on the grid. Or anyone at all.”
“Sounds pretty jealous to me!” I hum as he shakes his head, “Gonna win tomorrow?” I ask.
“Maybe.” He shrugs.
“For me?” I am definitely not in my head correctly.
He bites back a smirk, keeping eye contact, “What do I get if I win?”
He's teasing me and I like it far too much, “What do you want?”
I almost miss it. I would have if I didn’t keep eye contact. But something appears on Lando’s face… something familiar and that I thought was fake.
That fucking look.
Except now we’re away from everybody else, I’m the only one who can see his face and it makes me feel sick. He’s got a soft smile on, brushing my hair out of my face, his touch burning me.
I sit up straight, “I hate you.”
“No you don’t.” He smirks, clearly amused.
“You hate me!” I’m confused and angry and that damn smile isn’t helping.
He gives an airy laugh before his smile dims, his tongue running over his teeth before his eyes flick back up to mine, “No I don’t.”
I frown, “You’re supposed to!”
He shakes his head, “Why would I hate you?”
I groan, putting my face in my hands, “Because you’re in this mess because of me! I wrote a song about you.” I see his blink, the pause in his emotion as if he’s trying to figure me out. “And i’m angry! Because I didn’t want this and I didn’t want you!” I vent, “So you can’t like me now because I’ll feel bad!”
He blinks, once, twice, “Okay. I hate you.” He says it with zero emotion.
“For as good an actor as you are… that didn’t sound very convincing.” I pout and he laughs.
“I’m not a good actor, love.” I suddenly feel sobered.
“Hate me, Lando. That would make this a lot easier.” I’m mad at him. I can’t do this with him looking at me like that.
He tilts his head a bit, his jaw moving, a curl perfectly in his face. He says it with ease and a newfound softness in his voice, “How could I ever hate you?”
#fanfic#formula 1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#lando norris#lando norris fanfic#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#lando x reader#lando imagine
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Intimidation – S. Reid X Reader
A/N: this is a rewrite of a fic from like 5 years ago, if you want to check out the original here to see how much has changed. Feel free to leave requests! PLEASE LEAVE FEEDBACK IN COMMENTS OR ASKS PLS i need to know if I'm still writing like I'm 14 😭. Trying to rewrite one fic of each fandom so i get that reach.
Request: hey could you make a spencer reid x reader where the reader is new to the BAU and she has more PHDs than reid. which makes him super intimidated and insecure (bc he also finds her very pretty)
Word Count: 2.1k
Today was an emotional day. Quickly trying to blink back the tears that burned the back of your eyes, you stared up at the skyscraper. A lump rising in your throat, you reflected on all the hard work, all the time, all the energy, you put in just to be able to stand here right now. Years. Years of school, universities, exams, lack of a social life, and probably enough coffee to kill a small village. All to stand at the doors of the BAU, ready to take on your first day.
You walked through the double doors, flashing your badge, and security directed the way for you. In a brief call with the Boss, Aaron Hotchner, he had given you a rundown of the people who will be on your team. You mentally revisited all the notes you took, trying to suppress the anxiety crawling up your throat. The elevator bell’s ‘ding!’ interrupted your thoughts. Quickly stepping out, you assessed your surroundings, briefly reveling the fact that you were actually here. You are actually, officially, FBI. You glanced through the double glass doors just in time, to catch a stare from someone you could only assume was Spencer Reid. Your eyes followed as he fiddled and dropped a stack of files on the ground. At his clumsiness, who you would assume would be morgan, followed his line of sight to see what all the fuss was about. His lips curled into a smirk as he said something inaudible to the other team members standing by.
Looking particularly suspicious, just idling in the corridor, you made your way through the double glass doors. You put on your best smile as a distraction from the blush crawling up your neck. You excitedly walked over to the gathering of people; your happiness evident in every step.
“Hi! I'm officially Supervisory Special Agent Dr. (Y/N) (L/N). Can you use two titles like that? I'm not sure, but regardless just call me (Y/N).” You beamed like a sunflower as you stuck your hand out to shake, who you assumed to be Emilys, hand. Morgan raised his eyebrow, looking you up and down.
“Well, hey mama, what a nice Suprise.” He looked over at his team members to find their confused faces but raised his eyebrow, nonetheless. A pretty lady in his midst, Morgan would never complain, especially not when she carries a gun.
“Team.” Everyone's head turned toward the stairs as Hotch ran down them. “I forgot to mention, new team member, (Y/N) meet, Morgan, Emily, JJ, Rossi, and Dr Reid.” He pointed at each one whilst introducing them.
Your lips curled into a small smile as you beamed again. “Infamous Dr. Reid, Hotchner told me so much about you, apparently we are going to get along.”
“Yes uhm.” He coughed, ready to list the facts he knew about you. “She can speak several languages, has 4 PHD’s, In Mathematics, Chemistry, Engineering and Psychology, and she has 4BA’s, Philosophy, Sociology, Linguistics and archeology if I remember correctly, all at the age of 26. Very similar to you.�� He took a breath after rattling everything off and gave you a smile.
“A new resident genius huh?” You and the team turned to the source of the voice, immediately noting that it was Penelope Garcia. You gave a small wave as she walked over. “Our boy genius finally has some girl genius competition.” She smiled as a very speechless Spencer opened his mouth, but closed it again, finding he had nothing to say.
You turned a confusing look at the girl next to him and spoke. “I'm sure we will have lots to talk about, I'm definitely a talker.”
You gave him a big smile and God he could've died and went to heaven right there. So many thoughts rattled around his head. He was used to being the smartest person in the room. The one constant in his life was his intelligence. And here you were, looking like a fucking sunflower, taking that constant away. 2 degrees. 2 degrees more than him. He genuinely couldn't wrap his head around it. Attraction and intimidation swirled in his mind like oil and water. The best he could do was gulp down his fear, paste a small smile on his face as you walked away to get situated.
-
The hours wore on, and the effect of your first day at work was taking its toll on you. Heading over to the coffee machine, you spotted spencer, making what seemed to be his fourth coffee of the day. “I suppose Hotch was right about you being a coffee addict.”
A giggle erupted from your throat as his head shot up and his eyes widened at you, looking like a deer in the headlights. And once again, he found himself without anything to say. The anxiety of making a fool of himself in front of someone smarter than him was too much. He just grabbed his coffee cup and ducked back to his desk. Your eyes bore holes into the spot where he once stood, a small frown on your face. Had you seriously offended someone on your first day? Shaking your head, you returned to make some delicious coffee.
Morgan quickly placed himself on the edge of Reids desk as he sat down. “Our babies will be smart and beautiful.” He mocked in a dreamy voice, breaking Spencer away from his thoughts.
“What?” He gave Morgan a look of feigned innocence.
“Cmon, Pretty Boy. Youve already got it bad for wonder girl over there.” At the mention of your name, they both look towards the coffee station where you stood, looking like you were right out of a movie. He stuttered out an attempt at denying his friends accusations, but Morgan simply laughed and clapped him on the back, leaving him a stuttering mess at the thought of you.
“Briefing room!” Your ears perked up at the sounds of your boss’s voice ringing out across the room signaling you had a case. You turned your head and caught Spencers eye on the way, flashing him a timid smile. Finally, something to draw Spencer's thoughts away from you and your intrepid little mind.
-
Having been briefed they introduced you to the private jet. Of course it was met with gasps of astonishment from you, never having seen something so amazing in all your life. Everyone had settled in, and you sat down on the couch next to Spencer, taking in everyone on the plane. “Hey Genius Boy.” The common nickname caused Spencer to look up from his book. “Listen, I'm sorry if I offended you, I'm not trying to take your place as resident genius here, I think we could have some crazy in-depth conversations, if you would actually talk to me that is.” Your hands moved to match your voice, as a giggle left your throat to cover the awkwardness. He stared at you, looking like the human embodiment of his dreams, and decided today was not the day for his brain to fail him, he will not come across as stupid as he feels right now.
“Thank you, I think we would too, you didn't offend me, I'm sorry, I just get a little anxious about things sometimes. And honestly, I've never met anyone with more degrees than I have.” The way he talked with his hands mirrored yours as he explained himself. You beamed at him after hearing you hadn't offended him, and Spencer swore he was melting. He studied your face and noticed your darker eye bags, and your second cup of coffee in hand. He assumed you'd had a sleepless night. He was all too familiar with insomnia, and first day nerves. “I can move if you want to lay down and take a nap.” A nice offer in his eyes, so he was surprised at your reaction.
Your hands shot to cover your face as you squealed. “Do I really look that bad?” You spread your fingers to look at him whilst still shielding your face. His eyes shot open as he waved his hands a little frantically.
“Oh god no! No! You look beautiful, really, I just assumed you were tired because of all the coffee.” He gently grasped your hands and removed them away from your face. A blush creeped up your neck at the compliment, and your hair stood on end at the sudden contact. His hands darted back as he felt his own cheeks darken.
“I'm kidding Spence, I have trouble sleeping on a good day but thank you for caring anyway.” You smiled at him, taking in his features. God he really was beautiful too. Something about having such an intricate mind made a person all the more attractive.
In hopes to make you feel better, Spencer did what he did best, and rambled, his hands intricately moving as he practically word vomited on you. “Yaknow, some sleep experts have said that sleeping with someone around, and or cuddling with them, actually improves sleep. Your brain releases endorphins and dopamine and all that good stuff when you cuddle with someone, and it is said that aids sleep. I personally don’t believe in sleep studies, or dream studies for that matter, but it could be something to think about in the future.” He stared at his lap as he finished his ramble.
“Are you asking me to sleep with you, Dr Reid?” You quirked your eyebrows as endless giggles spilled out of your throat at his reaction. His eyes shot open again and he stuttered out some form of apology. He really needed to get his shit together if he ever wanted to have a normal conversation with you. “Okay, okay relax.” Your giggles faded away as you laid a hand on his arm.
“I was just suggesting, you know you need to be refreshed for a case, if you wanted to sleep near me, if that's okay with you. I mean I could use a little bit more sleep as well.” He tried to distract your eyes from his searing cheeks as he motioned to his coffee cup.
A smile broke out onto your face as you nodded softly, heat climbing up the back of your neck at the thought of the close proximity. You had heard Spencer was afraid of germs? Huh, maybe that wasn't the case. With 5 hours left till landing, Spencer retrieved a pillow from the couch opposite and laid it in the crook of his arm. Twiddling your fingers together, you shifted on the couch, moving to slip in between his body and his arm.
You had never been so glad he couldn't see your face, but at this point, you were sure he could probably feel the heat radiating off your cheeks. You sighed into the comfort, with the thought of sleep weighing heavier and heavier on your eyelids. You took in the scent of his shirt, Pine, and old parchment. You gave it 5 minutes until you were whisked away into dreamland.
Spencer, on the other hand, had never been so awake. He desperately hoped you weren't able to hear his heartbeat thrum against his chest as you got close. He slightly inched his head to lay on top of yours, the scent of your shampoo absolutely intoxicating him. If it were up to him, he would fly this plane to Antarctica just to be here a bit longer with you.
Bonus
The jet took a sharp turn and Morgan looked up from his cellphone. His eyes caught you and Spencer, practically wrapped around each other on the couch. The biggest grin broke out on his face as he laughed under his breath. As quietly as possible, he nudged Emily and JJ, pointing his finger in the direction of the couch. Emily rolled her eyes with an incredulous look, and JJ cooed quietly over how cute you two were. Emily whispered, not-so-subtlety, to Derek. “Take a picture before they wake up.” Quickly digging in her purse and throwing him her disposable camera.
“I hate you all.” They all broke into silent laughter as Spencer grumbled.
Since that day, that picture had remained pinned on Spencer's desk.
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Let me know if youd like to be on the taglist or anything, and please leave requests!
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid criminal minds#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid fanfiction
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burn your life down | chef luca x fem!reader | chapter one
summary: leaving your old life behind, you move to copenhagen to follow your dream of opening a restaurant. almost a year after opening, luca's quest for inspiration brings him right to your doorstep.
warnings: fluff, eventual smut, eventual angst not use of y/n, second person pov, swearing, danish inaccuracies, very little connection to the world of the bear.
word count: 2500
a/n: remember when i said we'd get pastry chef luca fanfic whether we liked it or not? well, it seems i can't be normal about anything bc i have an outline of (potentially) 10 chapters right now based on this headcanon. while i try to keep reader characters pretty neutral so that you can picture yourself, i have this reader creating food from her own life experiences/cultures so do what you will with that. also, i tagged some peeps from my headcanon post, but please let me know if you'd like to be removed.
masterlist | part two
He’s in search of inspiration when he finds the restaurant – your restaurant.
It’s an American stagiaire and a single conversation that makes him realize that he’s missing something – that he’s been in need of something fresh, a new perspective– setting him on his quest.
The best things are inspired.
Luca stares at a blank piece of paper for what feels like hours, writing a few things down, sketching up an idea, before viciously crossing them out, hopelessly stuck on new ideas for the new menu. After a few half-baked ideas that go nowhere, It occurs to him that he may be in need of a little inspiration himself. He can’t think of the last time he’s taken his own advice, mulling over the carefully-chosen words of wisdom imparted to Marcus a couple of weeks ago, and he’s determined to change that.
A review in the paper, an old colleague’s recent trip there, and a glowing recommendation from a close friend are what bring him to the restaurant.
He’s not sure what to expect – having forgone any interest in cuisine described with the words trendy or fusion a long time ago – but Luca reminds himself that it’s the writer’s word choice, not the chef’s, when writing the article.
When Luca steps into the small home-turned-restaurant, he’s immediately inundated with a warmth, a homeyness, that takes him by surprise. From the open kitchen, to the golden lighting, it feels vastly different from the classic Danish-style, fine dining establishments that have swept the country.
But Luca reminds himself that the announcement of noma’s 2024 closure, has shifted the conversation around dining culture in Denmark, and already, he can feel that this is the breath of fresh air that he’s been looking for.
Luca’s seated quickly with care and hospitality by a highly-attentive host, which he only assumes is a symptom of the fact that he read somewhere that you’re an American. While Danish, the host is boisterous, as if he’s known Luca since childhood. Luca smiles politely in response, graciously thanking the man and his chocolate brown curls.
The menu is small, indicating that each dish receives enough care to be excellent and he likes that, despite being described as trendy and fusion-focused, your menu is creative. It’s different. It’s inspired.
He chooses the special of the day: the mapo tofu bolognese – a traditionally Italian concept done from an Asian perspective – and the suggested wine pairing.
It doesn’t take long for him to receive his glass of wine, or his food, and he’s pleasantly surprised by how efficient service seems. Stealing glances through the open kitchen, he watches as you and your sous lead dinner service with a kind of compassionate leadership and playfulness that warms him from the inside out.
“We recommend mixing the whipped tofu into the dish for a creamier sauce. Skal,” his waitress greets, with a warm smile on her face as she sets down the bowl of noodles.
“Cheers,” Luca replies, his eyes savoring every single detail of the dish.
It’s somehow elevated, thoughtful, and elegant, yet comforting all at once.
Luca picks up his fork, using it to collect a little bit of everything – a perfect noodle twirl with just enough sauce, and ground pork before running his fork the whipped topping – raising the fork to his lips for his first bite.
As the flavors hit his tongue, he closes his eyes, and it’s as if time has stopped, just for a moment.
The wheat noodles are perfectly al dente while the whipped tofu is almost ricotta-like, transforming into a silky smooth addition to the dish, cutting the tingle and heat of the Sichuan chili peppercorn-based sauce.
The corners of his lips turn up as he takes a breath, opening his eyes as he savors the delicate layers of flavors. With a crooked smile on his face, he decides that he’ll most certainly be back next week.
-------------------------------
You make peace with the fact that tonight is one of those nights – a slow night – as you finish washing your hands. It being a slow night, you’d encouraged your staff to up the hospitality at the pre-shift meeting. Treating guests with the utmost personal touches in an effort to build genuine connections would be the focus of tonight’s slow service. In fact, you and Mathilde, your sous chef, had been running dishes out this evening – something you rarely had the luxury to do.
“You should go say hello,” your sous encourages, nodding towards the dining room through the expansive window of the open kitchen.
“Thought it was your turn,” you reply in a casual tone, paying no attention to who she’s referencing.
“No, I think you should take this one,” Mathilde nudges you, causing you to look up. You shoot her a funny look, your eyes flickering over the mischievous expression she has on her face, to where she’s gestured towards.
“To-?” you begin to ask, before seeing exactly who she’s talking about.
“Ehm. Tall, blonde, and tatted!” she emphasizes in a whisper yell.
You don’t really need the description as you glance over at the dining room, easily spotting the man seated at a two-seater near the front window.
“You’re right. He’s become a bit of a regular,” you agree with a curt nod that means all business, no pleasure, as you move a few things as you walk and talk around the kitchen, tidying up.
“That’s not what I meant,” she scoffs with a playful eye roll.
“You know, Jesper thought he was Swedish because… look at him… but he’s apparently a Brit,” she gossips with you, her eyes stealing a glance his way. “We’re slow tonight. He’s here every week. Sure he’d appreciate a direct thank you from the chef!”
“I-,” you hesitate, wondering why she’s so damn insistent on this. “... yeah, alright. I’ll go.”
“That’s my girl!” Mathilde cheers, in a sing-song voice, she hands you the beautifully plated bowl of pasta to take out to the dining room.
As you walk over towards his table, you make a note that it seems as if the mystery man has made this a bit of a routine. He shows every Saturday at exactly 7 pm, week after week, for the past month or so, as if it’s a standing date he has with himself. After his first visit, you half-expected him to bring a date when he returned, or bring a group of friends, or for something different to happen.
But it hadn’t and you’ve watched him come in, week after week, with a different book each time. He always orders the special of the day and whatever suggested wine pairing Jesper’s recommended that week.
Most Saturday nights you're busy leading a kitchen or cooking on the line – having little to no time to fixate or wonder curiously over your weekly diner – but tonight’s pace affords you the luxury to spend more time at the front of house. Truthfully, you know it’s the thing that sets you apart. Sure, the hospitality here in Copenhagen is excellent, but you bring an American hospitality-style to this restaurant – and above and beyond mentality – that feels welcoming, personal, even, as if your restaurant itself is just an extension of your home.
You’ve heard your staff – front of house and back of house – whispering about him, all seemingly enamored and enchanted by the charming Brit. All any of you knew about him was that his name was Luca and that he’s always more than kind to your front of house staff.
He doesn’t say much when he comes in, you’ve noticed, but every Saturday at 7 pm, he’s pushing his way through the front door with punctuality and a gentle ease.
The whisperings from your staff had all revolved around who your mysterious regular must be: whether he was Danish or Swedish, that someone that good looking must already have a partner, that he doesn’t wear a ring.
You hadn’t paid much attention to the gossip (or at least that’s what you’ve told yourself) more focused on running dinner service then trying to piece together the story of your handsome, mysterious regular.
“Hello,” you greet him warmly. “I just wanted to come introduce myself and say thank you for becoming one of our regulars. Your support means a lot to all of us.”
“Hi, I’m Luca.”
You share your name with a smile as he shakes your hand.
Luca turns his attention down to the bowl you’ve put in front of him, his eyes taking in the beautiful presentation hungrily.
“Wow, this looks… incredible,” he marvels, returning his gaze back to you.
“Thank you. I’m sure my front of house already walked you through this but if you’d like for me to-,” you begin.
“Yes, that’d be great, thanks,” he interjects, a crooked smile on his face that makes your heart skip a beat.
You have to pull your attention away from him, hoping he doesn’t notice that you’re quite possibly gawking at him.
He’s kind, charming, and he’s easy on the eyes (easy on the eyes, really being an understatement here).
“Today’s special was inspired by a childhood favorite of mine,” you begin, walking him through each component of the dish.
Crispy Rice. Caramelized marinated trumpet mushrooms and charred broccolini. Your mom’s sauce approached with classic French techniques, courtesy of your sous, Mathilde, a classically French-trained chef.
It’s a marriage of your story. Of the people around you. It’s your heart and theirs, put into a dish.
“You’re the chef?” he asks, unable to hide the surprise in his voice.
“Yes,” you answer, trying your best to get a read on him.
He balks, and you’re unsure of how you’re supposed to respond. Was he surprised that you’re a woman? That he’s been eating your food the whole time and expected a male chef? Before you can overthink it, Luca clarifies with:
“I’m sorry. It’s just-, I can't think of the last time I saw a head chef work front of house, let alone with this much care.”
Oh.
You let down your guard, wondering why you’d assumed the worst when the man’s been nothing but kind to you and your staff so far.
"We're a little short staffed tonight. And I love getting to talk to diners… especially on nights like this,” you explain, trying your best to sound like you hadn’t just assumed that he was a sexist asshole.
He shakes his head in disbelief, looking down at the picturesque bowl, then back to you.
Luca is impressed, and he has no intention of hiding it.
He picks up his wine glass by the stem, raising it to you.
"Cheers,” he says. “And thank you. This is a really beautiful dish.”
“Of course. Enjoy,” you reply, giving him a polite smile, before heading back into the kitchen.
-------------------------------
“Good service tonight, everybody!” Jesper, your front of house manager, announces while clapping a few times to signal to staff that it’s time for a post shift meeting.
As you all gather in the pristine front of house space. Some of your cooks have taken their aprons off, others haven’t had a moment to unwind from the shift yet – business picking up in the last hour or so of service.
Jesper goes through his nightly wrap-up notes, celebrating the wins of tonight, and making sure to celebrate how everyone rallied to pick up pace when business spiked. He’s gregarious, larger-than-life, the kind of person who can talk to anyone about anything, making him an excellent front of house manager, and even better sommelier. You really lucked out with the twins, you think to yourself – with Jesper and Mathilde – when they were more than eager to work with you on opening this restaurant.
“Oh, and before we go, a client left a gift… table number four,” Jesper says, in reference to Luca’s table. He pulls a tan-colored pastry box from another table, setting it down on a table where everyone can take a look.
“As a thank you. He requested for me to share. So have it and let’s make a note next time he’s in to really treat him like a VIP.”
One of your most-talented servers opens the box, eliciting a chorus of gasps, giggles, and excited whispers as soon as the assortment of croissants and pastries are revealed.
You and Mathilde exchange a look as everyone else busy themselves with unpacking the pastry box. Mathilde raises an eyebrow and you’re not sure what to say. Witnessing your silent exchange, Jesper makes his way over to the both of you, before extending his arm to reveal the card he’s holding.
“And this, my dear…” he begins, exchanging a look with his sister. “...is for you.”
“What do you-, just me?” you ask as you take it, hesitantly.
“I think so, yeah,” he nods, confidently.
To the Chef, the front of the card reads.
“Jesper, let’s check out some of these pastries, yeah?” Mathilde suggests, not so subtly hinting towards her brother.
He nods, giving you a little space so that you can read the card Luca’s left for you.
As your staff divvy up the box of laminated pastries, sighing with joy as they taste the decadent, hand-crafted sweets, you take a few steps away to open the note. His handwriting is pristine – perfectly neat in every way, like he’s written over carefully measured invisible lines.
Chef,
Thank you for all of the great meals. I'd like to return the favor, that is, if you're open to it.
Tomorrow. 5 pm. Dronningens Tværgade 2, 1302
While Luca’s gift has been more-than-generous, you find yourself overwhelmed by questions. Was he a chef too? And why had he not said anything? And what was this gesture all about anyways?
You read the card a few more times, turning the words over in your head as you try to make sense of it.
Mathilde can see your overwhelm, your eyebrows knitted into one confused expression as she saunters back over to you.
“What does it say?” she asks, curiously. “A love confession perhaps?”
“Mathilde, you really have to stop reading all of those French romance novels!” you tease her. “It’s giving you too many ideas.”
“It’s the only way I keep up with my French!” she defends herself with a lackadaisical shrug, earning a laugh from you.
“Uh no… it’s actually a thank you card… only I think he… wants to feed me,” you share with her, holding the card out so that she can take a look.
“He’s a chef too?” she asks, taking the card from your hands.
“I think so, yeah,” you reply, letting out an exasperated laugh.
“Oh shit!” Mathilde exclaims, as soon as she sees the address that Luca’s written down.
“What?” you ask her, wondering if there’s something you missed.
“The address… that’s AOC. I think he’s a chef at AOC, babe,” she gasps, shaking her head as she hands the card back to you, sending a ‘you lucky, bitch’ look your way.
Oh shit, is right.
#chef luca#will poulter#luca the bear#the bear season 2#the bear headcanon#luca x reader#the bear hulu#the bear fx#the bear fanfiction#chef luca x reader#pastry chef luca#burn your life down
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