#and then she spoke with Ben for one minute and suddenly she's freezing up

[swan2swan]

In the original storyboards and script, Brooklynn was supposed to have a panic attack while feeding Gordon the Compsognathus in one scene; she's pretty cool with him in the final cut, though. In another possible draft (from the novelization), she lures a Nasutoceratops out of its pen with apples, treating it gently. In the final show, she dives to push a companion out of the way. Regardless, she still drives through dinosaurs and seems to be without fear.

Obviously, when Red comes out and menaces her in the studio, she's terrified. But then...she's playing with him. She's confident and more than capable as soon as she knows how he works. She's still shaken when she sees him show up on Soyona's orders to execute and underling, but her fear is understandable, because she's still watching a dude die, and it's unpleasant and horrific. She's still not wholly shaken by dinosaurs.

But here? Seeing Red terrifies her. There's no laser pointer, no summons, he just sneaks up behind her and surprises her--and she goes ifull panic mode. Drops the case, falls on the ground, crawls backwards, unable to voice words. She fully regresses, all of the confidence and adjustment and logic lost to total panic.

Because something changed between the time she got attacked and the time she met Red...or rather, she met someone else. Someone who reminded her, face to face, of who she used to be. Who she once was. And what she lost.

[pierrotsmoon]

Heaven (Brian x reader)

Chapter 2- Love My Way Chapter 1

Brian's happiest day yet.

(warnings- College AU, cuteness, exposition, frat boys Jeff and Ben, stress cleaning)

“Ok, so you're telling me that the Vikings didn’t wear those horned helmets?”

     Brian looked at the girl in front of him, who was snickering to herself. Brian knew at that moment that they were the only two people in the world. She noticed his eyes on her, and her head tilted downward, looking at her lap. The two sat in silence for a couple minutes before he spoke up again.

“I think we might be done for the day; do you want me to walk you home?”

    The girl’s eyes crept to look at the open window; it was nearing eleven at night, and it was pitch black outside. She understood that it would probably be safer to go home with someone else; the fact that he was cute didn’t hurt either.

“I live in the dorms by the science building; it's really nearby.”

  ★

“-and that's how Tim and I got banned from our neighborhood pool.”

       As the two of them shared stories, Brian noticed her start to walk closer to him. As their shoulders almost touched, and her shoulders bobbed as she laughed, he felt a tight squeeze inside his chest. It was below freezing, but Brian couldn't feel warmer. He almost dreaded the fact that this moment would soon end; the dorms were only a 20-minute walk from the library, and he knew that his rambling extended it to over half an hour. The old clock tower by the brick laid old school dormitory struck twelve, and the two quickened their pace. He needed to go home too; the other fraternity brothers would get too curious if he didn’t. The girl was lucky enough to live alone, with no annoying roommates or eerie freshmen. 

“Thanks for dropping me off. I get really scared of the dark.”

She looked down again, hands clasped together to keep warm. He wanted so badly to hold her, to keep her warm and safe.

“It's no big deal; I mean, you were nice enough to help me too.”

His dirty blond hair started flying over his eyes; the wind clung to his cheeks, making them chapped and blush.

“Hey, Brian. You're always so sweet to me, you know that?”

His heart caught in his chest.

“Would you go on a little date with me to that cafe by Mountford? Next tuesday is cool with me.”

Brian felt like the biggest weight had been taken off of his chest.

“Yeah, that sounds wonderful.”

Brian couldn't help but break into a toothy grin, his hands shaking as he bounced on his heels.

“Mhm.”

★

    Brian opened the doors leading up to the fraternity. He kept himself as quiet as he could; the last thing he needed was for one of the guys to start asking questions. The door knob slightly jangled in his hand as it suddenly swung open from the other side.

“Brian! So glad you showed up! I really need help with this bio assignment, can you help a guy out?”

Oh no, the last thing Brian needed right now was Jeff. Why God when he was finally having a good day? The brown-haired boy stood proud and tall, wearing a Limp Bizkit shirt and shorts that went down to his knees; his regular emo hair was messed up even more than usual.

“I’m really tired right now, man. I'll get to you tomorrow, ok?”

The brown-haired boy signed, his lanky form dropping down dramatically. Jeff was a bit of an idiot, but he knew his friend was acting a little differently.

“What's with the look? Did you win the lottery or something?”

Brian looked down at the shorter boy, debating whether or not he should smack him upside the head.

“It’s nothing, go to bed.”

Jeff’s single brain cell dinged against his empty skull.

“Is it about a girl?”

Brian’s eyebrows furrowed.

“Leave me alone, Jeff.” 

Jeff giggled to himself.

“Ooooo, Brian’s got a girlfriend!”

Jeff spurted that a little too loudly, forcing Brian to shove his open palms over the brunette’s mouth. It was too late, though. The rest of the nearby rooms steadily began to open. Jeff wrangled his face out of Brian’s hands.

“Ben! Brian’s getting laid!”

Brian has never wanted to die more.

“No way! A girl wants Brian? When will it be my turn?”

“When you stop looking twelve, dude.”

As the two freshmen bickered amongst themselves, Brian turned around to dash up the stairs to his dorm. The house was a really old mansion, but it had been converted to a fraternity in the late 1800s due to its closeness to the university. The stairs creaked with Brian’s quick steps. He noticed tim out of the corner of his eye.

“Thank God, a reasonable person.”

Tim had only joined the fraternity because Brian did; he kept to himself in the house and tended to stress clean late at night, explaining why he was still awake. 

“If those two are pissing you off, I'll deal with them.”

Tim was flipping back his black hair, a wet mop clutched in his hands. Tim was sort of a burly guy, with broad shoulders and all that, and he could probably take on two scrawny freshmen.

“Nah, they're just idiots, you should be getting to bed, don’t you have to prepare for the meeting with the owner next Tuesday?”

Tim hummed and sauntered into his room. The owner of the mansion was really illusive; he only ever gave staticky phone calls or typed letters. Brian stayed out of the way when it came to that guy, and Tim handled most of the correspondence.

As Brian went to his own room, he immediately turned the lights off and fell onto his bed. His mind was flooded with thoughts of her . Brian thought about his schedule; he was scheduled to go meet a director friend tomorrow, but he knew he would be restless until Tuesday. 

Brian closed his blond lashes, a soft smile on his face.

[paisley-print]

Near The Water’s Edge:   Chapter Four

After fleeing your abusive husband, you find yourself in the small coastal town of July, North Carolina. Soon you meet Frankie Morales, Air Force Veteran and single dad. As the two of you grow closer, you begin to let go of your past and learn to love again. That is until a strange man shows up in town, and you ’re forced to choose between your safety or the safety of the people that you love.

Inspired by the novel “Safe Haven” written by Nicolas Sparks.

Series Master List

Frankie Morales x Female Reader Rating: 18+ / Heavy adult themes eventual smut. Trigger Warnings: Domestic Abuse, Mentions of death, PTSD, anxiety, mentions of police case, police.  Word Count: 

Note: Another heavy chapter, but things will let lighter as the chapters go on. Enjoy the first half of the beach day. 

Tag List:@qytyy @winter-fox-queen​​​​ @sherala007​​​​@inkededucatednnerdy @quica-quica-quica​​​ @hnt-escape​​​ @giizhkens-cedar​​​@heythere-mel​​​ @toomanystoriessolittletime​​

The ride passed in comfortable silence, the three of you listening to the radio and Lucy looking out the window at the cars in the next lane. All Frankie could think about was how nice it was to have someone else there to spend the day. He knew Lucy must have been feeling the same way, since he hadn’t seen her so excited about a beach trip in a long while. 

He appreciated how patient you were with her; it was something he noticed even on that first day. The way you refused help until you knew she was alright. That moment had stuck with him more than anything else. 

The memory of what Will said earlier surfaced in his mind. He shifted in his seat and glanced at you. Yes, you were beautiful. Strikingly so. A woman who could walk into a room and turn every head in the place; both men and women alike. Of course Frankie had been taken with you. He tried to suppress it, scolding himself whenever he was alone in bed at night and found his thoughts wandering.... 

His only goal right now was to be your friend because he cared for you and knew that you needed help. He wasn’t sure what kind of help, but he sensed that you were alone and at some point in your life something very bad had happened to you. He wouldn’t pry though, he would wait until you were ready to share. 

-

The beach wasn’t too packed; it was still early in the season and  the tourists hadn’t moved into their summer homes yet. The boys had done an oddly efficient job at setting everything up. When Ben and Will got into a little spat about how to sink the umbrella into the sand , Frankie simply rolled his eyes and continued to spray Lucy with sunblock. It made you laugh, they all seemed so comfortable with one another. 

The day was hot and everybody seemed eager to get into the water, everyone except you and Frankie.  You had bought a bathing suit at the store, intending on going in... but somewhere during the car ride you changed your mind. 

“You can go in if you want,” you told Frankie “I don’t mind just watching.”

He shrugged, “I don’t normally go in either.”

Then just like that the two of you were suddenly alone, both woefully unprepared for any sort of conversation.

You thought of something quickly, filling the silence “the marina was packed today.”

“Yeah, It’s always like that on memorial day. Most of the summer too, be prepared for the restaurant to start getting busy.”

“I prefer it that way. It makes the shifts go faster. So I’ve been meaning to ask, what exactly do you do? I assumed you owned the marina?”

He paused for a moment. “Uh, technically I do. It was a wedding gift from my parents. An uncle had died and left it to them. I think they just wanted to get rid of it, but I have an office manager that does all the upfront stuff….. normally I just work on repairs.”

Married. That wasn’t what you were expecting, but still no ring. “Did you go to school for that?”

“Kind of. I had training for planes, but you would be surprised just how similar the two are.” You gave him a look. He glanced at you and laughed sheepishly. “What?”

“I’m sorry, did you say planes?”

“Yeah”

“You fix planes?”

He smiled and crossed his arms, trying to seem much cooler than he actually was. “I fly them too.”

“You fly pl-....do you take constructive criticism?”

He laughed, “Of course.”

“Lead with that next time.”

He looked at you skeptically. “How am I supposed to lead with that, exactly?”

“You say, hi my name is pilot Frankie …..” 

He shook his head, grinning. “Morales,” he informed you. 

“Hi my name is pilot Frankie Morales, nice to meet you.”

He played along, “but how will I know if people actually like me for me, or they just want me to take them for a ride in a plane?”

You shrugged “it's tough being a celebrity, I don’t make the rules.”

“Oh yeah, celebrity, that’s me,” he said sarcastically. 

You kicked at the sand with your foot. “Also I liked you before I knew you had the coolest hobby in the world. So, you know that you can trust me.”

He glanced over at you and immediately noticed your smile. He had seen you smile before, but they would never quite reach your eyes. This one, he could tell, was real. He opened his mouth to speak when, in the distance, a wave crashed and Lucy squealed with laughter. Both of you turned your heads to look.

“Will Lucy be okay out there?” you asked. She had on a life vest and was being supervised in the shallows by the rest of the adults. Santi was holding onto a boogie board Lucy used to keep herself up. 

“Yeah, I know they seem like idiots but they are good men.” Frankie reached into the cooler to grab a bee and popped the cap off with the bottle opener. “Do you want one?”

You shook your head, “No thank you, but I’ll take a water bottle if you have it.” He set his beer down in his cup holder and reached into the cooler again. The bottle was freezing cold when he handed it to you. Perfect for a sunny day.

You wiped the condensation off on your dress. “Can I ask you something? It’s okay if you don’t want to answer.”

“Yeah, sure,” he said, taking a sip of beer. 

“Lucy’s mom is she….? Are you two still….? I don’t mean to pry, I guess I’m just a little confused.”

“You and I both,” he said with a sigh. “I’m married but we are not together anymore, haven’t been for a few years.”

“Oh,” you said simply, not finding any clarification in what he told you. If anything, you had more questions, but you didn’t want to push. Besides, it didn’t matter anyway…. you couldn’t, you were married as well. “Does your family live in the area?”

“Nope, they live up north. Katie never really knew her family. She grew up in the foster system and was bounced around until she enlisted at eighteen. It’s just me and Lulu now, and the guys when they find the time to travel here.”

“I’m sorry,” you said honestly. “It must be hard not having your parents support.”

He shook his head and took another sip. “I expected it, even when I was younger, it seemed as though they were only interested in keeping me alive.” He looked down and started to peel off the sticker on the bottle as he spoke. “They are both doctors, mom is an archaeologist and dad an engineer. He actually helped design parts of the international space station…. I think they valued their careers more than anything else... they still do. The only time they ever came down to see Lucy was right after she was born, aside from that it’s usually a phone call on a holiday and a card with money in the mail.”

Although he tried to play it off as if it were just another part of life, you could see that it still affected him deeply. For a moment you thought about reaching out to take his hand, but you stopped yourself. “It really is their loss, they are missing out on two wonderful people.”

Frankie adjusted the baseball cap on his head, a sheepish little smile playing on his lips at the compliment. “Well, thank you. Lucy and I could say the same thing about you. You’re great with her.”

You glanced back at the little girl. She was smiling happily as Ben pulled her along on the boogie board. “I think little girls need to be protected, but not only that - they need to be seen and heard. She is already so independent and fierce. I can see how you encourage her to be her own person and not fit into any one mold. That’s important for little girls to learn.”

He laughed, “Yeah, she definitely gives me a run for my money, that's for sure. She can already repair an engine better than most men I know.”

A large gust of wind came through and took hold of the multi-colored beach ball beside you. Both you and Frankie sprang from your seats to race after it. The thing was fast, and you could not stop it from crashing into the waves. You noticed just how much cooler it was near the water’s edge. Although the temperature outside was sweltering, the Atlantic still held that winter chill. Both of you stared at the ball as it bobbed up and down with the tide. 

Frankie waved it away with his hand and squinted in the sunlight. “It’s fine, it’ll probably just float down the beach to another family or something.”

You smirked at him “or choke a poor dimwitted sea turtle to death.”

He paused and shot you a pretend glare, then took off his hat, dropped it in the sand and reached for his shirt. 

You giggled “no, no I’m joking. I got it.” You said, starting to strip down to your bathing suit also.

“Well, you gotta be faster than that,” he said, half jogging to the water.

You slipped off your dress easily and ran straight past him into the waves. Frankie was not far behind. You two were pushing against the tide as you reached for the ball. Fingertips just barely brushed against the plastic before it slipped a couple more inches away. This left just enough time for Frankie to swoop in and grab it.

Your stomach hurt from laughing so hard “hey!”

He shrugged, “I’m sorry that I care more about the environment than you.”

You splashed him with water playfully.

-

The two of you swam for another fifteen minutes, chatting about the town and volleying the ball back and forth. Frankie pretended not to see the way the droplets of water clung to your skin and sparkled under the sunlight. When he noticed the little lace pattern on the bottom of your swimsuit, he knew he had been staring for too long and forced himself to look away. The very last thing he wanted to do was scare you away, or make you believe he had some sort of ulterior motives to helping you. 

You both dressed again before walking back up to the chairs. When the two of you returned, the group had already come back from swimming. They were passing around Tupperware full of fruit while Santi was starting up the tiny little grill he had brought. 

“You guys really don’t play around for beach days,” you mentioned to Frankie. 

“I tried to warn you,” he said with a smirk. 

Will had Lucy thrown over his shoulder, carrying her easily with one arm. “Has anyone seen Fry?”

“I’m right here!” Lucy’s little voice drifted out from behind him.

Will started turning, pretending to look for her “Fry! Fry! Where are you!”

Lucy was hardly able to speak through her fit of giggles, “I’m behind you!”

He put her down on the sand, pretending as if he had seen her for the first time. “Jesus Fry! You scared me!”

“Lulu,” Frankie said, “come here so I can put more sunscreen on you.” Frankie took the bottle from the bag and sprayed her again, making sure to get her ears and the tops of her feet as well. He sprayed some in his hands, and Lucy scrunched up her nose as he applied it to her face.

Watching the two of them together made you smile. You were reminded again just how different Frankie was from your husband. David would have felt emasculated by having to take care of a child. If he had attended today, you would be sitting beside him silently the entire time, only getting up to fetch him a beer.

“Do you want some?” Frankie asked, and you were suddenly snapped right back to reality.  

Even though you weren’t threatened by a burn yet, you figured it would be a good idea. “Yeah, thank you.” You offered him your arms, then the front of your legs.

“I used to be terrible with remembering sunblock until I got sun poisoning in Iraq, god never again.”

“Iraq?” you asked, and turned so he could get the backs of your legs.

“Yeah, with the air force” he told you, assuming you already knew. 

Breath hitched in your throat as he brushed your hair over your shoulder. You cringed at the feeling of the warm sunscreen hitting the back of your neck and jerked away. It was enough for the others to notice. You laughed and lied quickly “damn horse flies hurt when they bite. They say you should wash off the bite with soap to get it to stop the swelling. Is there a bathroom here?”

You sounded believable. Becoming an expert liar had been the only thing keeping you alive for so long. 

Frankie felt horrible. He didn’t quite know what he had done to trigger you, but he knew it was something. “It’s pretty far, I can walk with you-”

You shook your head, a wide smile still plastered across your lips. “Nope, I just need a direction.”

Santi jumped in quickly. “That building when we first came in, near the tennis courts.”

You nodded and started forward, tears stinging at the corners of your eyes. Why was this happening right now? You were fine a moment ago and now you felt as though you couldn’t catch your breath. You shivered, remembering the feeling again and putting your hand on the back of your neck to stop it.

A soldier…. it made sense. You were too stupid to have seen it, the nicknames and the holiday...... 

Thankfully, they were single stall restrooms; you pulled the door shut and locked it behind you. The bottom of the floor was disgusting and filled with wet sand. You lifted yourself up onto the counter and sat, trying to calm down. A soldier, a soldier, you kept repeating to yourself. It was too similar. The anger, the potential for violence…. just like your husband. 

You placed your head in your hands, and suddenly you were back in New Jersey. It was a bitter February, snow still on the ground. You were in your bathroom hiding as David raged in the living room and screamed at his coworker on the phone. A little boy had been killed by his father weeks ago. David was assigned to the case. When the trial came, the jury found the man innocent and let him walk free, even though all the evidence pointed to him as the killer. It was an embarrassment to David and the entire homicide unit

“God fucking dammit, y/n! y/n!”

You pulled yourself up on shaking legs, straightened your dress and walked out. David was red in the face waiting for you. “I thought I told you to call Comcast, did I not?”

“They said that they could get someone out here Wednesday because of the snow-”

He took the television remote and threw it at you as hard as he could; he aimed for your face but it hit your shoulder instead. The plastic connected straight with your collarbone. You doubled over in pain, holding it as it throbbed. He stalked up to you and you moved back, the fear evident in your eyes.

His voice was teetering on the edge of lunacy as he screamed at you.

“I give you a simple fucking job to do and you can’t even get it done. You’re a lazy fat fucking bitch.” he shoved you hard but you manged to keep standing. “Spend all day sitting on your fucking ass while I have to go to work for the both of us! I need the television because I need to see the news coverage of the fucking case! You knew this! Or would you like me to get fired and the both of us live on the fucking streets!” He shoved you again, and you fell against the stone fireplace. Your hands came up to shield your face as he picked up the remote and hit you with it repeatedly. It caught your lip, busting it open. 

You didn’t care about the blood, all you could think about was the gun still holstered in his belt. You got the television fixed the next day-

“Summer?” 

You stood quickly and wiped away the tears from your cheeks, pretending like nothing was wrong. “Yeah?”

“Are you alright?” 

It was Frankie. 

You shook your head and smiled in the dingy plastic mirror in front of you. “Yeah, why?”

He could hear that you had been crying. He pushed on the door but it was locked. 

You didn’t like that at all; you slipped off the counter and sat on the floor, against the door. Bracing it closed with your body “I’m fine-”

“You’re crying-”

“No, I’m not I- I get allergies and that horsefly hurt. I am such a baby I’ve always had a low pain tolerance-”

“If it’s something that I did -”

“Nope, it’s nothing that you did. I’m fine, I’m really, really fine I promise. I just got overwhelmed and needed some air. I’ll be back in a few minutes, and you guys can eat without me. Don’t let me hold you up.”

Frankie wasn’t convinced, but he didn’t want to force anything. “Would you like me to save you a plate?”

“Yes, please.”

You could hear his footsteps start to retreat and relaxed a little. 

“Summer?”

“Yeah?”

Frankie was about to say something, but he thought better of it. He figured it was better to let you have your space now.

[magicalforcesau]

Fragments of the Garden - Origins - Part 3

A companion collection to Dancing With Ghosts in Your Garden

(ao3 link)

Satine started to sit next to Obi-Wan every time she saw him at breakfast. Usually they would break out into an argument five minutes in, but even still he started showing up for breakfast more, and Satine always came back the next day.

It was Cody that had suggested they go find him at lunch hour and Satine had agreed easily, because she definitely noticed despite his appearances at breakfast, lunch and dinner were still another story entirely.

That was how she found herself, carrying two plates of food and following Cody with his plate down the hall to that empty classroom.

“Is this seat taken?” Cody asked shoving a couple of the desks together, surprising Obi-Wan completely.

“I- No?” He answered automatically.

“Good,” Satine responded, “It was a long walk here and I’m hungry,” She set down her plate in front of her and Obi-Wan’s plate in front of him. Cody was already digging into his food and he struck up a conversation with Satine quickly about their Charms homework. Obi-Wan was a little too dumbstruck to join the conversation, but did listen to them talk as he ate the food they’d brought him.

The end of the lunch period drew near and Cody collected Satine’s plate.

“Do you not like desserts or something?” Satine asked, noting the slice of apple pie sitting untouched on Obi-Wan’s plate. Being asked a direct question he responded with a surprised blush.

“It’s not that I don’t like them,” He admitted, “My mother says I can’t have any.”

“What? Why not?” Cody asked, surprised. Satine however remembered the women’s icy gaze and stayed quiet.

“She says men don’t like sweets,” He averted his gaze which was very unlike him.

“Well she’s not here right now,” Cody announced, “And what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her!”

“Cody’s right,” Satine found herself saying, “Plus he likes dessert so clearly her logic is false,” Obi-Wan opened his mouth, probably to argue when they heard the clamber of students heading their way. They grabbed their bags and Cody grabbed their plates and they headed out.

Satine decided that tomorrow she’d bring him 2 desserts.

***                                            

That night was their first Astronomy lesson. They were supposed to start much, much earlier, but the headmaster had, had a little trouble replacing their professor after the last one had been in some sort of accident. Satine couldn’t get anyone to specify past that, but she suddenly missed not having class when she was rolling out of bed at eleven to head towards the astronomy tower. The first years all went together, and she found herself walking next to Obi-Wan.

“Are you okay Satine?” He had the misfortune to ask, she glared at him, looking absolutely perfect as always.

“Make a note,” She told him, “to never wake me up, unless it’s an emergency,” Obi-Wan wasn’t sure when that would ever be useful information to have, but he stored it away anyways, with a nod.

They all sat on the floor of the tower as the oldest wizard Satine had ever seen, made his way slowly to the front of the class. He was holding a piece of parchment in shaky hands and squinted through his glasses to read it.

“Hello class,” He spoke in a raspy voice and Satine had to wonder if this poor man would even make it through the year, “I’m going to take attendance, please raise your hand when I call your name,” and with that class started.

Satine let her focus wander until he got to the J’s and tuned in right when Kenobi would be called.

“Kenobi,” The professor squinted at the paper, clearly struggling with Obi-Wan’s stupidly wordy first name, “B-Ben?” He decided on. Obi-Wan, who’s ears had gone red, raised his hand.

“It’s Obi-Wan, sir, Obi-Wan Kenobi,” He corrected, Satine could hear the embarrassment seep into his voice and she slapped a hand over her mouth to keep from snickering.

“Oh, sorry my dear boy,” He moved on quite quickly to, “Kryze, Satine.”

“I’m here,” She raised her hand, laughter coating her voice, and Obi-Wan gave her a sideways glare, but perhaps it had been worth waking up so late anyways.

***                                            

“Good Afternoon, Ben,” Satine greeted him, plunking down his lunch in front of him (two desserts as she’d decided) and sliding a desk over for herself, while Cody did the same.

“Ben?” Cody questioned, and Obi-Wan just rested his head on his arms with a groan.

“Don’t you dare tell,” His voice was muffled, so Satine elected to ignore him.

“The new astronomy teacher messed up his name during attendance,” Satine said gleefully.

“She won’t let it go,” He raised his head back up with a red-faced glare.

“Obi-Wan and Ben don’t even look alike,” Cody noted with a confused smile.

“I’m well aware,” Obi-Wan told him.

“Anyways, Ben,” Satine attempted a straight face, “I went to the trouble of picking you out two desserts today and it would be rather rude of you to not eat them.”

***                                            

Satine was struggling with a rather long and tedious history essay. She supposed Ben was too, because he’d hidden himself behind a textbook and she hadn’t seen him come up for air in hours.

“I’m never going to get this done,” She sat back against the plush blue couch with a sigh, breaking the silence she’d been dying to break for at least 30 minutes now.

“What part are you stuck on?” He asked without even putting the book down.

“I have all the information, I think,” She mused, “But I’m struggling with how to format it,” At that Ben did lower the book.

“Do you want me to look it over for you?” He asked and she shook her head.

“I was thinking of taking it to my mentor actually,” Satine admitted. Ben seemed to freeze at the mention of a mentor, but didn’t make any move to go back to his reading.

“That would be a good idea,” He agreed slowly, “They’ve probably written the same paper,” She could tell Ben was now attempting to hide behind his book to finish the conversation, they’d been friends for around a month and he just kept getting easier and easier to read. She grabbed the spine of his book and pushed it down.

“I’ve never asked you,” Satine thought out loud, “Who’s your mentor?” Ben froze again and she could see he was trying very hard not to avert his eyes, “I’ve never seen you with anyone else in the common room? Are they from a different house?”

“No they’re a Ravenclaw,” Ben started slowly, “They’re just much older than you’d expect,” Satine furrowed her brow at him and he continued knowing the answer would be pulled from him one way or another, “You know our fifth years aren’t a very big class,” He tried before trying again, “You know Qui-Gon right?”

“Professor Qui-Gon is your mentor?” Satine asked incredulously, Obi-Wan then did avert his eyes.

“Well like I said, year five isn’t a very big class, and people probably saw ‘Kenobi’ and decided to choose someone else,” He trailed off, “It’s not so bad I like Professor Jinn,” Satine shoved the book out of his hands and wrapped her arms around him suddenly. It was only for a moment before she pulled back.

“I’m sorry, Ben,” She told him.

“I- Well, yes,” Ben seemed a little dazed, but Satine thought not much of it, and instead went about gathering her papers together.

“I’ve got to run if I want to catch the fifth years when they get out of class,” She told him standing up, “I’ll be back later though, if you want me to look over yours,” He nodded, gathering his book off the floor.

“Alright, thank you Satine.”

***                                            

The snow was falling outside the window as the train pulled out of the station, Ben was staring out the window, brooding, and had been for some time. Satine had originally elected to ignore it in favor of chatting happily with Cody about their Christmas plans, but as time wore on, she couldn’t take it any longer.

“What are you planning on doing for the holidays Ben?” Once the words were out of her mouth, she saw Cody wince and had a sudden need to backtrack and delete the last second of her life.

“Oh, the holidays?” Ben contemplated, stretching his hands over his head and readjusting to actually look at his friends, “My parents will be throwing their annual Christmas Party. I suppose I will be hosting,” Satine remembered then, Cody’s mention of the Kenobi’s parties and she suddenly realized that going home for Ben, may not be the joyful celebration it was for her and Cody.

“You should write to us!” Satine demanded, “I don’t know what I’ll do all break if I don’t have someone to argue with,” She exclaimed dramatically. Cody rolled his eyes, but looked at Ben and nodded.

“I could use a distraction from my little brothers, I’d gladly welcome a reason to hole up in my room,” He grinned.

“My owl could use the exercise,” Ben joked, but then added, “If I can find a way, I’ll send you an owl.”

The trolley came by then and Ben bought each of them a sweet for the ride home. Satine contemplated, as she watched his eyes light up upon discovering his chocolate frog card, that she really didn’t know a lot about him. She vowed that come next semester she would start to learn even more, but until then she was just happy to be on a warm train sharing sweets and laughter with her two closest friends.

[letbenfuck2021]

be the thing that buries me (ao3)

For the last four years, Vanya finds herself both prison and prisoner. She doesn’t have super powers. She isn’t physically strong or a tactical genius. But ordinary and helpless as she is, Vanya is determined to find a way to save her brother. She doesn’t want her body to be a cage anymore.

sequel to “inside your head the sound of glass”

rating. explicit. warnings/tags. pseudo/sibling-incest, dub-con, dead dove: do not eat, obsessive behavior, possessive behavior, dark fic.

chapter 1:

It’s cold in the city. Winter came early this year, a brutal cold snap billowing in about a week or so after the Academy turned eighteen and it showed no signs of letting up. And it is this frigid autumn that finds Vanya nearly freezing at the kitchen table, attempting to cut carrots into somewhat bite-sized pieces. She is, so far, mostly failing.

“Vanya darling,” Grace calls from across the room where she is preparing cornish hens for roasting. “Why don’t you head to the drawing room? It’s much warmer up there.”

This was the third time Grace had made this exact suggestion in the past hour. Vanya’s clacking teeth and the precarious way her hands shake as she presses the blade of her knife down is agitating Grace’s programming. Each heavy thunk against the cutting board causes Grace to twitch, an electrical impulse in her software reacting to the quickly climbing probability of injury occurring.  

“I’m okay, mom,” Vanya replies under her breath before lifting the butt of the knife once more and wrestling the carrot into place under the blade.  

It’s a little past four in the afternoon and already dark, a cold blue light washes the room and leeches all the warmth from the air. A few moments, Grace will reach for the light switch on the far wall and plunge them into the dingy orange light of the fluorescents overhead. But for now, Vanya sits at the kitchen table, shivering under a large sweater, a hoodie and two thermals and narrowly fails to slice open her own hand as she cuts away another jagged, ugly piece of carrot.

“What the fuck? Watch what you’re doing, Al! You almost took my fucking head off!”

“Don’t be a bitch, Diego.”

The echo of Allison and Diego’s bickering wafts in through the open window above the kitchen sink from outside in the courtyard. They’re running drills practically in the dark and it is only growing darker, but her siblings still have another thirty minutes to go before they can venture indoors. When their father took Ben, Luther, and Five on mission three week ago, Reginald had given strict instructions for all of those left behind. Her own orders had been sparse but from what she could tell, her siblings��� regimen was rigorous and immensely detailed. When they aren’t training, they are out patrolling and running other smaller missions.  in the last ten days much to her dismay. Vanya sees her siblings more in the paper than in person, but she’s been waiting, planning for her moment and now, it’s almost here. So, despite the cold, despite the blade that veers too close for comfort to her left hand and the damn carrot that rolls once again beneath her knife, Vanya is determined to wait.

“Yeah! Duuun’t be a beeotch, Deeeeee-yego!” Klaus calls from somewhere else in the courtyard before bursting into a shriek of laughter.

Even his laugh sounds slurred. His voice is quite a bit more muffled than either Allison or Diego’s, as though he’d tucked himself into the far corner of the yard and it was really a miracle that he was awake at all. The night before, Klaus had slipped out sometime around midnight and hadn’t returned until that afternoon. No one said a thing when he’d stumbled into the dining room in the middle of lunch and draped himself casually across his seat across from Diego. These days, no one saw virtue in commenting on Klaus’ perpetual lack of sobriety. In the same way that no one said anything about what was going on between her and Five or the horizontal scars littering Ben’s forearms. They’ve all quietly decided that it’s easier to turn a blind eye to all these things. They’ve all agreed that Klaus’ slurred speech sounds better than his screams in the middle of the night.

“Let’s go again, Diego,” Allison called out. “Start from the top.”

If Diego had any reservations about running through another set in the dark freezing cold, he made no audible dispute. Instead, the courtyard went silent again except for the occasional grunt or shout from either of her siblings. Though it didn’t always seem like it, Diego and Allison were a pretty dynamic duo in hand to hand, at least that’s what she’d heard from Five. When he ran missions, Five would often pair them together despite Allison’s protests. Keeping Allison and Luther apart was perhaps a petty move on Five’s part but it was also a strategic one. Five often talked about their siblings to Vanya, his dissatisfaction with them, his begrudging affection all tied up in his keen observation. It’s a little like listening to a story, a novel on audiobook about people in a far away land. After what happened to Five, the line in the sand that was between Vanya and her siblings was now drawn in concrete. Reginald had always done his best to keep her separated from the others. She wasn’t a complete fool. Having her hold blank clipboards, blow whistles, and stand beside him during training were all his not-so-subtle ways of indicating to them all that Vanya was not like them. And if that message wasn’t clear enough then the slow building resentment towards her would surely do the job. Though her mundanity had damned her, it had saved her as well from the brutal, violent reality that her siblings inhabited. They all begrudged her, her normal and therefore privileged existence. What happened to Five was just the final nail in the coffin. Not even Ben would acknowledge her these days.

“Ah!”

The knife slips in her grasp too far for her to recover in time before the blade cuts a line across her thumb, from the edge of her nail to the first knuckle. The wound looks, at first, completely innocuous. Bright red across her pale, clammy skin but thin and strangely static as though someone had drawn on her in red ink. Then, the wound unfolds. Her skin unfurling like a curtain as the blood begins to pour and the sting turns into intense pain.

“Oh dear,” Grace suddenly at Vanya’s side.

Before she bleeds all over the table, Grace reaches out and grips Vanya’s thumb with a kitchen towel. Her mother squeezes tightly, the pressure stopping the sharp pain but it’s replaced with a throbbing ache that is just as intense and leaves Vanya breathless.

“Sorry, mom,” Vanya murmurs, finding the words difficult to form.

Grace crouches down, her other hand deftly fishing a small tin box from the pocket of her apron. She releases Vanya’s wounded thumb for a second to open the little box. The aching pressure on her thumb releases for just a second before a sharp burning pain floods her senses. The world seems to shrink to her bleeding digit and Vanya blanches when she sees something white peeking out of the mess of blood and tissue. As soon as the box is opened and placed on the table, Grace’s hand moves to cover her thumb again, her steady fingers putting an uncomfortable amount of pressure over the wound.

"Is it bad?”

“It’s alright, sweetheart,“ she says though Grace has yet to actually inspect the injury.  

They wait like that for a few moments. The pain in her hand is making Vanya’s head spin while Grace begins to hum. Vanya looks up from her finger and finds her mother’s face turned towards the open window over the sink.

"Your brothers and sister should be coming in soon. They’ve been playing all day. I hope they won’t be too tired for dinner.”

She still spoke about them all as though they were children. Breakfasts were still happy faces made of fried eggs and bacon, pancakes with shapes made of chocolate chips. What she must think of them all, her children. Though she made no comment on it, Grace left Vanya’s clean and folded clothes in Five’s room now and left her daily meds there as well. After another moment of looking out into the dark, Grace turns her attention back to Vanya’s thumb and uncovers it. Her face is a portrait of bland concern.

“Hm, we may need stitches,” she says, pinching at the wound and pushing the disparate edges together and letting them fall apart again. “Why don’t we just patch it up for now and we’ll see from there?”

Grace smiles and it’s beautiful. Of course it is, she’d been made to be that way. Vanya often wondered if her mother had once been a real woman, someone with real feelings, with thoughts and desires that existed beyond whatever Reginald had coded into her. Grace stands from her crouched position, easily keeping her balance despite her tasteful, four-inch pumps. She instructs Vanya to replace the towel and put pressure on the wound while she goes to wash her hands at the sink.

“Your brothers and sister should be coming in soon,” she says with her back turned to Vanya. “They’ve been playing all day. I hope they won’t be too tired for dinner.”

The old pipes groan as the faucet sputters, at first there’s barely a trickle but Grace’s hands are poised and moving as though through a steady stream.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine, mom.”

This earns Vanya another wide, blank-eyed smile when Grace turns around wiping her hands on her apron. It takes a few minutes for Grace to clean and bandage Vanya’s thumb. The sharpness of the initial pain has faded and is replaced by deeper ache that makes her head spin and stomach turn ever so slightly. Grace admires her handy work then lets out a small gasp as though she’s just realized something.

“Vanya darling,” she says standing to her full height. “Why don’t you head to the drawing room? It’s much warmer up there.”

Vanya shakes her head, eyes still glued to her injured thumb trying but failing to will the pain away.

“It’s okay,” Vanya implores.

Grace tilts her head to the side, the large curls in her blonde hair shift like water sloshing. She looks troubled, her programming stumped. The girl is clearly half-freezing and now injured as well. She should be someplace warmer, perhaps even in bed. Vanya is fragile, ordinary, and largely incapable of contributing to the household. This all information that has been coded into Grace as truths. Vanya should be out of the way as much as possible but heavily supervised. Quickly, her mechanics run through the options and settle on this.

A wide smile and “maybe some hot chocolate instead. Warm you up a little.”

Before Vanya can decline, Grace sets to work. First she covers the Cornish hens in foil, they’ll need to sit for another half an hour before they’ll be ready for roasting and the stove will need at least half that time to finish rising to temperature. The air in the kitchen is cold enough that she doesn’t need to put birds back in the refrigerator. Instead, she leaves them sitting on the counter when she goes to fetch milk and a saucepan.

“Why don’t you sit closer to the stove, dear? It’s much warmer there.”

Vanya glances out at the window over the sink. She thinks she can just make out the sounds of labored breathing but all she can see is darkness. They’ll be finished soon and she doesn’t want to miss her chance but Vanya is also freezing and the painful throbbing in her thumb is making her dizzy so she relents and slinks across the room to the stove. She bypasses the chair at the end of the table and opts instead to squat down beside the old rusting appliance. Grace had been right; it’s infinitely warmer in her new location, though Vanya already knew it would be. This isn’t the first winter evening that she’s spent crouched at Grace’s feet beside the stove waiting just to catch a glimpse of her siblings.

“Did you remember to take your vitamins today?” Grace says from above her.

Vanya nods, doing her best to balance on her heels and stay clear of the heated metal beside her. How could she ever forget? Her “vitamins” are actually a cocktail of different medications that she takes on a daily basis. Recently, she’d noticed the arrival of a new pill, round, pale and though she’d been given no explanation for its sudden appearance the timing of its addition suggests that it was some kind of contraceptive. It had been Five who offered that particular hypothesis about the new pill’s purpose. And despite being somewhat relieved that she had one less thing to worry about, Vanya had been downright scandalized and denied even the possibility. Instead she had insisted that there must have been a new development in her condition.

The smell of milk heating wafts through the air, cutting through the cold and making Vanya’s stomach churn. Her thumb still hurts, the pain seems to be growing as more time passes but she tries not to think about it. Instead, she focuses on Grace humming a song that sounds simultaneously familiar and alien as the warm smell of milk and chocolate hangs in the air.

Vanya considers asking Grace now about the new pill. It isn’t uncommon for pills to appear and disappear according to what her condition required. When she was four, Vanya had contracted a highly contagious illness and had to be quarantined away from the rest of her siblings for months. She’d undergone multiple treatments and a couple surgeries, and even now she required vigilance and a strict adherence to a daily chemical regimen prescribed by her father.

Vanya could remember practically nothing of her illness and the resulting treatments. Most of early childhood is a vague smudge for Vanya and what she knows of her condition is a patchwork of bits and pieces she’s overheard or been told. Nothing from that time of her life feels real, except for Five of course. He’s the only thing that she can remember with any sort of clarity from her childhood. There is of course the rejection, the loneliness, the utter desolation of being an ordinary child in a clutch of extraordinary ones, but those things are more like a murky lake of misery. Five stands out like a raging flame. She remembers him dogging her relentlessly, always seeking her company, rooting out her little hiding spots in the house. At first, it had been painfully awkward to be under the weight of his attention but it wasn’t long before painful awkwardness became desperate craving. Now, Vanya can’t imagine who she could possibly be without Five.

The stove steadily grows hotter and Grace’s humming begins to skew atonal. Five and the others are scheduled to return that night though. Reginald had called earlier in the day but, according to Pogo, he didn’t give a specific time. The thought of Five’s impending return sets Vanya’s teeth on edge, with both eagerness and apprehension. Pogo had been tight lipped about the progress of their mission and so she had no ability to tell what mood her brother would be in when he returned. Every mission took a toll on him, truthfully on all her siblings and Vanya worries what state Five will return to her in but she wants Five home, whatever state he’s in.

“Oh my dears! You’re practically popsicles!”

Grace’s exclamation jostles Vanya awake. At some point, she’d managed to drift off with her back pressed against the wall and balanced on her heels. She’s sweating beneath her layers, the stove’s oven is nearly to temperature.

“We’re fine, mom,“ Diego replies, his voice is labored and when Vanya peeks up over the table, she notices that he has Klaus on his back.  

“Why don’t you all have a seat, you’re just in time for hot chocolate!”

There’s a shuffle of feet and the sound of a chair legs screeching across the floor. Vanya rises to her feet just in time to watch Diego dump Klaus unceremoniously into an empty chair.

 ”Ow, Didi,“ Klaus whines. "Try a little tenderness wouldya? I’m precious cargo.”

His speech is still slurred but there’s a clarity to his words that wasn’t quite there earlier when Vanya had overheard him in the courtyard. Besides his griping, the room falls silent as soon as Diego and Allison spot Vanya. They both tense up as though they’ve seen a wild animal.

“What the fuck is she doing here?” Diego snarls.

His animosity is nothing new but Vanya winces regardless and tries to focus her attention on her sister.

“She lives here, genius,” Allison retorts glibly but the tension doesn’t leave her body.

Grace, seemingly unaware of the uncomfortable strain between her children, moves throughout the kitchen gathering mugs and setting them out on the table.With a mechanical poise, she divides up the hot chocolate into four perfectly even portions. Klaus doesn’t seem to notice what’s happening either. He’s opted to bury his face into his crossed arms resting on the table in front of him and doze off.

“I need to talk to you,” Vanya says, trying her best not to look at her brother.

“Like hell you do,“ Diego barks.

Vanya almost loses her nerve. Of all her siblings, Diego despises her the most or it may just be that he has the hardest time hiding it.

“Relax, Two. Drink your cocoa.”

Despite being Number Three, Allison is the unquestionable superior. Diego could never quite convince himself that he was or could ever be better than his sister. Allison easily outdid all her brothers in almost all things and where she was found lacking, she found ways to make up the difference. Diego      respected     Allison and so he usually deferred to her and this time is no different. He doesn’t stop glaring at Vanya but he takes a seat beside Klaus.

“Let’s talk upstairs, Vanya,” Allison says evenly. “It’ll be warmer up there.”

Vanya nods in reply and follows her sister out of the kitchen. Diego watches her leave with a hostile glare and kicks Klaus’ chair so hard that it jostles him awake. Behind her, Vanya hears them bicker.

"Get up asshole and drink your cocoa.”

“It’s hot chocolate.”

“Same thing.”

“What? No it’s not!”

Their voices grow vague as Vanya and Allison ascend. Vanya’s heart is fluttering in her chest and her stomach, which has been in knots all day, only gets worse. Vanya is afraid of Allison. Not in the way she fears Luther. She still has nightmares of the sound of her own fingers snapping, joints popping out of place and searing pain of skin ripping. She isn’t scared of Allison like she’s scared of Diego who took every opportunity to verbally berate her. Vanya has no memory of Allison ever being especially cruel to her or physically harming her but she knows what Allison can do and that’s more than enough reason to fear her.

“H-how was training?” Vanya asks hesitantly.

As much as she fears her sister, Vanya admires her more. Allison was everything that Vanya wishes she could be. Beautiful, strong, confident and most importantly, Allison is special. She’s extraordinary. And even if she’s scared of her, Vanya wants so badly for Allison to like her.

“It was like negative twenty out there,” Allison replies without turning around. “It sucked.”

Vanya nods even though Allison can’t see her. She doesn’t know how to reply to that. It had been years since she’s been allowed to participate, even in a spectator position, in training.

Allison leads her to the main parlor where a fire’s been lit. It’s exponentially warmer here and Vanya finally feels as though she can think straight. She watches as Allison makes a beeline for one of the ornate couches and lays herself out with a huff. Vanya opts to stand off to the side, nearer to the fireplace.

“Um..thanks fo-

“Just tell me what you want.”

Vanya’s throat suddenly feels dry. She can’t see Allison’s face from where she’s standing but she can hear the cold annoyance in her voice. It makes her feel small but she shoves the feeling down.

“I…I want you to undo the rumor you used on Five.”

Allison sighs heavily from her lounging position.

“Vanya. Really? This shit again?”

“Please, Allison. If you could just try, I know yo-“”

“I’ve already told you. I’m not doing that,“ she says sitting up. "Why don’t you just accept that he’s obsessed with you and take the win?”

“It’s not a win!” Vanya shouts, her voice cracks.

Allison looks genuinely startled by the outburst and it emboldens Vanya. She takes a step closer and continues.

“It hurts him. He’s not even himself anymore and he’s trapped here because of it. Because of      me    .”

What Vanya isn’t saying is, because of you. Allison hears it anyway.

“You can do it,” Vanya implores. “If you would just try.”

“I can’t,“ Allison says, punctuating her assertion by standing.

Allison is fairly tall for a girl her age and she certainly dwarfs Vanya’s miniscule five feet. She’s an intimidating figure but Vanya won’t back down.

"Yes you can. You’re the only one who can help us.”

“This is getting old. And a little pathetic. Enough already.”

With that, Allison turns and makes for the door but Vanya rushes forward. Before she can stop herself, Vanya reaches out and grabs Allison by the wrist.

“I’m just trying to help our brother! Why won’t you help me?”

As soon as Vanya touches her skin, Allison recoils pulling her wrist from her sister’s grasp. The force causes Vanya to stumble and Allison feels sorry for it. In all honesty, she has nothing personal against her sister. She doesn’t particularly like Vanya but she doesn’t hate her the way Diego does and she isn’t scared of her like Klaus and Ben seem to be. Truthfully, Allison doesn’t      know    Vanya. They’d lived practically their entire lives under the same roof, grew up together, shared meals, slept in rooms barely twenty feet apart but Allison had never felt any closer to Vanya than she felt to any given stranger off the street.

“Stop, Vanya. Just stop. You’re not helping, you’re just trying to make me feel guilty.”

“I’m no-”

“Yes. You are. And you know what? I am guilty. I made the rumor. I agreed to say it. I’m guilty. But that hasn’t changed anything for the last four years. It isn’t gonna change anything now. If you really wanna help Five, maybe you should stop blaming everyone else and figure out how to do it on your own.“

"Well you let Dad treat Luther like a tool all he wants,” Vanya says and she knows she should stop but the bitter words spilling out of her like vomit. “I guess it shouldn’t surprise me that you won’t help us.”

Vanya knows she made a mistake. Allison watches as her sister’s expression changes from resentful anger to utter fear and she wants to laugh. Allison had always pitied Vanya for her weakness and they both knew it. But for the first time, Allison is beginning to realize that she doesn’t just pity Vanya, she resents her. She had never once in her life been allowed to even seem weak but her sister wallowed in her frailty, relied on it even. Some dark, nasty part of Allison wonders if that’s why Five was attracted to Vanya so much in the first place. Five like little else more than feeling superior.

“I-I’m sorry,” Vanya stuttered, her eyes wide with fear. “I didn’t mean…”

Her trembling lip, Vanya’s little body shrinking away with anticipation. Terror slinks off of her like a rotten stench. Allison takes it all in and she feels terribly powerful. This isn’t a new experience for her. Allison had often stood above opponents, criminals, vandals, sometimes even her own brothers, and she loved being above them. She liked to savor the intoxicating feeling of being the winner, the victor because that was the Hargreeves way. Do whatever it takes to get on top and stay there. Even if you have to cheat and Allison had no qualms about playing dirty and yet, for some reason, the sight of her sister, trembling before doesn’t make her feel triumphant, it makes her feel sick.

“I’m sorry, Allison. I shouldn’t have said that.”

Vanya barely manages to choke the words out, her teeth are nearly chattering with how sacred she is. Looking at her makes Allison feel sick. Her shoulders suddenly feel too heavy, they slump as she sighs. She’s so tired that it nearly brings her to tears. But she doesn’t cry. Allison doesn’t get to cry, no matter how much she wants to.

"You’re right. You shouldn’t say that. Even if I wanted to, I don’t know if I could undo the rumor. They just have to run their course.”

\\\\

She wakes into the dark with a crick in her neck. She’d fallen asleep with her head at the foot of Five’s bed again, staring out at the snow falling against the darkness. It’s a bad habit but she’d always liked Five’s windows. Vanya isn’t sure when she’d fallen asleep but after her encounter with Allison, she’d dragged herself up to Five’s room, buried herself under his comforter and tried to find some solace in the snowfall outside his window. She must have succeeded because when she wakes, it’s nearly midnight and there’s someone with her in the dark.

“When did you get back?” she murmurs apologetically.

It’s become an unspoken ritual that Vanya waits up for Five when he comes back from a longer mission. It wasn’t always possible, but Vanya tried her best to be there for him whenever he got back. She attempts to turn her head to see his face but the muscles in her neck spasm. She can hear the sound of her own groan entering into the cold silence, jostling the air and she thinks she also hears a laugh. Just a small huff of air really, beside her ear all warm and soft in a way that makes the hair on the back of her neck stand.

His thumb finds the tight muscle in her neck, massaging circles into her flesh. It hurts at first, the sudden pressure makes her gasp and the flush of blood back into the area makes her a little dizzy. He curls his fingers under her neck, arching it upward so that he can suck hickeys into the skin he’d just massaged. She’ll be peppered with purple marks, too high above her collar and plentiful to cover but even so, she cranes her neck and lifts her chin exposing more skin for him to mark. Ever since the Paris job, they had settled into a kind of uneasy armistice. There had been no explicit discussion, no bargaining or clear transaction but something of a conclusion had been reached.

"Fi-ah!”

His teeth find the sensitive spot where her neck curves into her shoulder. Five bites down, hard enough to make her jump but not enough to break the skin. It’s both agonizing and thrilling the way it hurts.

“I missed you,” he mumbles, it’s the first words he’s spoken to her in almost three weeks.

He, Ben, and Luther had been running some kind of reconnaissance mission where secrecy was of the utmost importance and there had been no chance for the odd phone call home. His mouth is hot and wet over her skin as he trails languid kisses along her collar bone then back up to where he’s no doubt left teeth marks in her skin. His breath is warm, ghosting over the sensitive skin.

“Did you miss me?” Five murmurs, hovering over her aching skin.

At first, Vanya can only manage a sigh. He feels good, there’s no denying it. As much effort she puts into keeping the lines drawn between what is real and what is the rumor, Vanya can’t lie about how he makes her feel.  Five would have been a talented lover under any circumstance. Vanya is certain of that though she tries not to think of it much. Even if she believes that had he been given the vast wealth of opportunity that freedom would have afforded him, Five would never have chosen her, it still stings to think of him with others.

Before she manages to answer him in any sort of comprehensible way, Five laves his tongue, wide and flat, over his bite mark. Vanya lets loose a sound that is half whimper and half moan but entirely mortifying. But Five seems to appreciate it, an appreciative hum rumbles across her skin as she tries to catch her breath. It could feel humiliating sometimes, the level of intimacy he demands from her. Five is always struggling closer, ripping through the carefully constructed barriers she’s set between them for their own protection. He wants everything from her, every sound, every reaction and sensation. And had she been more of a fool, Vanya would give it to him freely but she knows that had it not been for the rumor, he would have never wanted it any of this. He may want every single bit of her now, but Vanya knows that when the rumor wears off, he’ll resent for every little inch she gives.

“Five, maybe we shouldn’t-” she begins to say, her nerves outweighing her desires.

But before she can finish her phrase, he bites down again. This time is harder than before, not enough to break the skin but enough to make Vanya yelps. Desperate to find anything to hang on to, she reaches for him, her fingers desperately scrambling across his face, over the shell of his ear, before settling and tangling into his hair. Though her nails are short and dull, there is no doubt that in her frenzy she left behind some damage but Five doesn’t seem to notice or care.

The pain only lasts a moment before he drags his tongue over the new bite dissolving the tension and rendering her a shivering mess. She lets out a low, guttural moan as he continues to mouth at her neck, sucking hickeys into her skin. Something stirs in her belly, a searing, aching need unfurls as his kisses shift downward. The comforter slides off of her body as he draws the middle line of her body. The frigid air is an assault on her body but it only makes her lean into him. Her shoulders rise from the mattress and the hand that had been at her neck trails down between her shoulder blades, propping her up.

She wants to put her arms around him, feel him closer. As terrified as Vanya is of the day when this all comes crashing down, it doesn’t change that she wants Five. Ever since they were kids, Vanya has ached and longed for him, even when he was right beside her. Wanting Five, wanting to be with him, wanting to love him in every way that has, does and will exist is not a new desire for Vanya. Sometimes, she thinks she was born that way. But despite all this, she hesitates as Vanya always does. So cautious, so careful, Vanya loves like a kicked dog. She flinches back before a fist is ever even raised, before he can even think of rejecting her, Vanya has already bowed out in repose.

Vanya is lost to herself, the torrent of desire and fear inside her when she feels the sudden shifting of weight as Five leans back. His hands are gone, the cold crowds in and she loses him in the dark. Turning on to her side, the weight of her raised torso resting on one elbow, Vanya squints into the darkness before her and finds her brother all cast in shadow. He’s not that far from her, his face still level with her own. There’s just enough distance, a few feet maybe, that the darkness leaves his face almost completely obscured. She can make out the curve of his ears, the corners of his jaw but his eyes are lost. He is just a shape, the suggestion of a man but not one entirely. He is some spectre made of stuff darker than the pitch darkness around them. For a second, she’s afraid. She doesn’t recognize him, even when she sits up on her knees, leans in closer. She can’t see him. Her blood pounds in her ears as the fear twists into something else, something more.

“Five?”

“I always forget,” he mumbles but she cannot see his mouth moving. “When I’m away, I always forget. Just how good this feels.”

His voice shakes as he says this, like he’s scared too. Five and Vanya had always shared so much, sweets, sweaters, kisses, why not share their fear as well? Vanya is aware of the phenomenon he’s referring to. It was Diego who had been so kind as to inform her that when Five is far enough away from her, the effects of the rumor lessen and what’s left in its place is a dull ache. A week, maybe a little more and Five starts to act like his old self again.

Hey, Seven. What do you think would happen if you just fucked off for good?   

Though it hurt when Diego spit that particular possibility at her, she had to admit, it’s a fair question. Five always espoused how much he missed her while he was away, how desperately he craved her the whole time but she wonders how much of that was actually true. What if he’d been happy while he was away? What if he’d been free? Or at least close enough.

“Did you miss me, Vanya?” he asks once again, this time he sounds unsteady, unsure.

It breaks her heart to hear her brother so degraded, but she can’t answer him. The words just won’t come as she stares back at him across the darkness, his features bleeding into view as her eyes adjust. He looks young. In the dark, he looks like her brother. The brother that had held her fevered hand when they were all ten and a bout of the flu had ripped through the entire academy but had settled on Vanya for nearly a month. This was her brother, who had kissed her on the mouth with sugar glazed lips and fed her so many doughnuts that she thought she would puke.

This is her brother. And she can’t even bring herself to tell him that she misses him. So Vanya takes off her shirt instead. Five waits in the darkness, watching her strip down to her bra. Vanya can feel his eyes on her as she slides her sweater and shirt off together. Her skin is a shock of goosebumps as her hands, already shaking with the cold, reach back to undo the hooks.

“Let me,” she hears him murmur.

He shuffles forward, even on his knees, he’s still level with her eye line. His long arms reach up and close the distance between them as finds the center of the band. It will only take him a few seconds to undo the hooks. Embarrassingly, Five is better at undressing her than she is but for these scant seconds, Vanya allows herself to rest her cheek upon his chest. It’s a small sin, to give herself this bit of comfort but she still feels the weight of it when Five’s hands slowly trail down her arms, taking the straps of her bra with them. She hears Five take a breath, holds it for a few seconds as he drinks in her body.

“You have no idea, Vanya,” he murmurs. “You can’t even imagine what it’s like for me to miss you.”

It’s true and the guilt she feels because of that makes her want to disappear. He skates his hands up her sides, sighing with relief at just being able to touch her skin. He puts his face into the crook of her neck to breathe in deeply.

“You smell like home,” he says into her skin. “You’re everything to me, Vanya. You know that don’t you? I need you with me.”

She nods slowly. It’s true. It’s all true but none of it’s real. His hands drop down to the waistband of her jeans, undoing the button as he places kisses along her shoulder, then her clavicle. The click of her zipper coming undone is loud in the silent, dark room. Five pushes them over her hips and down to her knees. Vanya sinks down, laying herself out on her back so that he can free her from her pants completely. He moves quickly from there. His fingers are already curling at the elastic band of her underwear when she stops him.

“Wait,” Vanya says, her hands falling over his own to stop their movement.

Five flinches as though she’s burned him. Under her breath, she murmurs an apology. It’s easy to forget just how brittle the rumor has made him. Her brother has always been such a large, looming figure in her mind, confident, strong, intelligent. Even after four years, Vanya forgets just how easily he breaks. With one hand, she laces her fingers through his own, an act meant to reassure him though he doesn’t seem moved. His eyes are hard as he watches her rise from his bed.

“What are y-” he begins to ask when she detangles her hand from his.

But he falls silent as soon as she turns her back to him, falling to her elbows and knees on his mattress. Behind her, Five takes in a sharp breath.

Then she hears, “fuck.”

Her heart is a sharp staccato in her ears as she feels him lay his hands over her hips, slowly, with near reverence. His hands are cold on her skin, colder even than the air around them. And not for the first time, Vanya wonders where he’s been. Part of her wants to ask him, wants to ask him what he’s done and what he’s given up to be here with her again. He pulls her back, pressing his hips into her ass. Through the fabric of their clothes, she can feel the hardness of his cock and it sends a shiver down her spine. He moans as he rocks his hips and Vanya gasps as he squeezes her buttocks. He leans back just far enough to slide his thumb down and press up against her pussy, feeling her through the fabric. Embarrassingly she can feel the cool dampness that’s spread into the fabric.

“You’re so wet, sis. You must have missed me.”

He nudges into her further, the fabric feels almost coarse on the sensitive flesh but Vanya leans back. There’s no point in playing coy now. Five hums appreciatively, massaging slow circles into her through the fabric in a way that makes her head spin. She’s panting like a dog in heat by the time she feels him push her damp panties aside.

He pushes into her without preamble. It’s rough and Vanya lets out a low sob as the pleasure of him filling her flushes up her spine like a fever. He loops an arm under her belly to hold her in place as he shifts his hips back and thrusts into her again. Five grunts, the heat of his breath fans out across her frigid skin making her shiver. A few more slow, languid strokes before he begins to pick up his pace. Tears bud at the corners of her eyes. Her elbows slide out from under her. The sheets come up to meet her face but his arm is still around her waist, keeping her ass up as he pounds into her so hard that her knees nearly give out.

It’s too much. It’s always too much. She’s all but lost in a haze of pleasure, trying to meet each of his thrusts. It feels good just to be with him, to have him in her and yet, she can’t let go. In the back of her head, she can’t forget that this isn’t real. And the guilt roils in her gut. She suddenly feels sick, her throat tightening until she chokes.

"Fi-Five-ah!” she gasps out.

Her face is pressed into the mattress, fingers grasping at the cotton sheets. The wet slap of flesh against flesh becomes erratic and behind she hears Five groan. His fingers at her waist dig into her flesh. He’s close. Vanya knows it, with each swing of his hips, he grinds into her harder, deeper. Then with a guttural moan, he thrusts one last time and spills into her.

“Sorry,” he gasps. “Shit, I’m sorry.”

His hips are still pressed up against her ass, rocking slowly into her as he rides out his orgasm. It takes a few moments before his breathing evens out, his cock softening within her. He slides out of her gingerly, careful to keep his arm around her waist. Vanya can feel the warm dribble of his cum sliding down her thigh as he gently lowers her to the bed. Sluggishly, she turns over onto her back.

“Lemme finish you,” he mumbles, dropping to his knees and spreading her thighs.

“It’s okay, Five,” she says dazedly. “You’re tired.”

He laughs a little into her skin as he plants kisses up the length of her inner thigh. Five sometimes jokes that she’s a little too polite, especially considering the things they’d done together. It’s cute though, he’d usually say with that too-wide grin of his and she’d blush and try to remember how to breathe. But tonight Five seems unwilling to indulge her impulsive niceties.

It’s still a little uncomfortable for Vanya to let Five eat her out. It’s embarrassing, of course but it’s all a little embarrassing. Sex is a mortifying, uncomfortable ordeal but what isn’t for Vanya? She’s lived her life feeling like an exposed nerve, both acutely vivid and devastatingly deadening. Mostly, it’s the intensity that scares her when he climbs between her thighs with greedy mouth and fingers and extracts from her a feeling that goes beyond pleasure or pain. She can feel it building now as he slides two fingers into her cunt.

He lifts one of her thighs and rests it on his shoulder, the other he pushes back, opening her wider for him. His free arm wraps up under her thigh, looping around and across her hip bone. Sufficiently locking her in place, Five puts his mouth to the top of her pussy. His tongue finds the sensitive spot to the right of her clit, pressing into it, hesitant at first, and when she begins to squirm, he goes harder. He knows her too well, knows that he needs to build up to her clit. The little engorged nub is far too sensitive, so he works around it.

He’s set a languid pace inside her, straying so very close to that erogenous spot. When gets close, brushing just shy of her g spot, it sends a jolt through her and Vanya yelps. She’s so dazed, her body is so warm, unbearably warm but also freezing. The room seems to have gotten colder and it makes every sensation that much sharper. Her nipples are so tight now that it’s almost painful. Five suddenly wraps his lips around her clit and sucks, not hard but it earns him a grunt. Her pleasure crests so suddenly that it leaves her literally breathless. For a second, everything stops, she loses track of herself as she hangs in the balance.

Then, she comes crashing down. Distantly, she feels him inside her, his mouth still on her clit. It takes her a few moments to hear her own squealing, feel her own body scrambling against Five’s grip on her hips. There’s a wet pop and suddenly there’s Five, grinning up at her from between her own thighs. She realizes she’s still breathing as he draws a line of wet, sloppy kisses up her body, to place a sweet peck on the corner of her mouth.

“Sorry,” he says again, then stands.

Vanya dizzily notes that he is still mostly dressed while she lies a complete mess and naked as the day she was born. It somehow always comes to that and Vanya cannot quite make any heads or tails of it. She feels both wound up and completely undone as she watches him undress and toss his clothes on the floor.

“We can go again in a bit,” he maneuvers her body easily, ushering her further on to the bed.

There’s a kind of wired energy to his words but even through hooded, heavy eyes, Vanya can see the sluggishness in him. He climbs in besides her, pulling his comforter over them in one fluid motion. Under the covers, he entangles their bodies, nudging her knees apart and hooking his leg through. He wraps her up in a tight embrace, he’s so much larger than her and she feels completely enveloped, the cold melting away with the heat of his body. Vanya is still too dazed to try to put up any kind of fight. She lets the pleasure of his kisses, peppered erratically over her face, wash over her. His hands wander and grope at her body as he pulls her even closer. Five has a habit of becoming hyper just before he crashes, one last burst of energy before the sudden stop like he’s on a sugar rush.

“I just…I need so-ome shut eye…” he trails off.

His hands still, his mouth is at her hairline, murmuring what sounds like nonsense. As he’s pulled under by exhaustion, Vanya feels herself returning to the surface. She feels both comfortable and uneasy in his arms. Nothing ever feels as good as being with Five but nothing hurts as much either. She’s caught between memorizing this exact moment, locking it away in the deepest, most secret part of her mind and guarding herself against it. It isn’t real. No matter how good it feels, no matter how much she wants it, it isn’t real. She chants this in her head even as she presses her nose into his chest and breathes in deeply. The salt and musky of his damp skin mingles with the brand of mild soap they use at the Academy. She doesn’t know how long she lingers awake, listening to the twin sounds of his heart beating and his slow, even breathing.

None of it can ever be real, she reminds herself. It isn’t her, it isn’t love. It’s the rumor and she can’t ever let herself want more than that.  And yet. She feels the words well up inside her, a truth too big to hide in her throat.

"I missed you,” she whispers hoarsely. “I miss you so much it’s killing me.”

[megalony]

Heartbeat- Part 3

Here is the third part of my Ben Hardy series involving Gwilym, I hope you will all like it.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem​​ @butlegendsneverdie​​ @langdonzvoid​​ @jennyggggrrr​​ @rogermeddow​​ @radiob-l-a-hblah​​ @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6​​ @rogertaylors-lipgloss​​ @sj-thefan​​ @omgitsearly​​ @luckytrashgooprebel​​ @scarsout​​ @deaky-with-a-c​​ @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac​​ @vousmemanqueez​​ @jonesyaddiction​​ @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms​​ @saint-hardy​​ @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls​​ @mrsalwayswritex​​ @rogerina-owns-me​​ @peterquillzsblog​​ @im-an-adult-ish​​ @crazylittlethingg​​

Series masterlist

Summary: Ben and (Y/n) haven’t been together long when they find out their pregnant. But (Y/n) fears she’ll lose the baby after suffering miscarriages before with her ex, Gwilym who is making things complicated.

Enjoy.

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It was the same waiting room, it always was. (Y/n) knew where to go off by heart, she walked these gleaming halls in her sleep when her mind wanted her to suffer or jolt awake and wonder if her life was suddenly repeating itself over and over.

This part of (Y/n)'s life was almost a routine and she hated how traumatising it was to repeat herself over and over like she was just getting up and going to work. The only difference in this routine was that it was Ben walking these halls with her instead of Gwilym. It was Ben holding her hand, looking around worriedly yet curiously and it was Ben who was being hopeful since (Y/n) didn't remember what hope felt like anymore.

It was clear by her expression that she was not a new mother happy to go and have a scan. (Y/n)'s expression was both blank yet annoyed like she was on her way to the principal's office.

"I know this is distressing but can you please talk to me?"

It took everything Ben had not to sound ill-tempered or uncaring because that wasn't his intention but he couldn't help but sound the tiniest bit irritated. (Y/n) had hardly said two words to him today and he couldn't pry any kind of response out of her no matter how hard he tried. Ben didn't know what else to do but to try and be a bit hopeful today but it was hard when (Y/n) walked around looking like she hated the world.

Upon hearing his words, (Y/n) slowed down her walk until she was slowly shuffling her feet across the polished tiles and her head was turned to look at Ben who was pulling on her hand to get her to walk beside him instead of slightly in front of him.

"I just want to get this over with, we can talk about it at home. This will last five minutes at most." (Y/n)'s words were defeated and her eyes were tired and bleak.

"That's assuming we've lost the baby, right? What are you going to do if we haven't lost them, are you still going to act like you're not pregnant?"

(Y/n) rubbed at her sore eyes with the base of her hand as she felt the need to cry but she didn't have the energy or the will to even try any more. She could sense the pain in Ben's words because he wasn't being inconsiderate or rude, he was being practical. He didn't know how she was going to react if the baby was okay and he had no idea how (Y/n) was going to carry on if they hadn't lose the baby afterall. She had already told herself what to expect today but if it turned out different, (Y/n) would be stumped.

Ben wondered if (Y/n) was still going to brush off the subject until it was impossible to ignore it any longer, he wondered if she was going to be paranoid the whole pregnancy or if something would go wrong and how she would take it.

"Every time I come here, I go home empty like they've stolen the baby from me and all they can do is offer counselling that doesn't work. When you miscarry three tines they run tests but I'm perfectly fine, Ben. I'm not sick, I'm not incapable of carrying to full term, I don't have a weak cervix, I'm just not allowed this privilege. Why is this time going to be any different?"

Whenever (Y/n) allowed herself the luxury of believing that she could go home still pregnant, she was rudely awoken and brought back to reality and that crash landing was worse than simply preparing herself for the truth. It felt like every time (Y/n) turned up in this circumstance, the midwife took the baby from her and sent her home an empty shell and it was sickening. (Y/n) had all the tests they could offer to see why she couldn't go past fourteen weeks but nothing was wrong. (Y/n) wasn't sick, she had nothing wrong with her womb or Fallopian tubes or her blood or her DNA.

(Y/n) was healthy, she wasn't too young or too old, she didn't have a weakened cervix that couldn't hold the baby. Everything said she should be fine to have a baby but something in the universe said otherwise.

"Why is this time going to be the same?" Ben countered with narrowed eyes and his lips pressed into a straight line that made his expression look stern. (Y/n) couldn't see why it would be different but Ben couldn't see why it would always be the same if she was right and nothing was wrong.

(Y/n) had no words to come back at him with so she simply tugged on his hand and started walking in the direction of the waiting room.

When they got into the waiting area, (Y/n) almost felt sick when her feet were steering her towards the same chair she sat in the last two times she had been in this position. It was like history was trying to make her comfortable enough to repeat the past that was becoming an almost normal process for her.

All she wanted to do when she saw down was pull her knees up to her chest and bury her face in her knees or double over and rest her head in her hands. But if she ever did that then the other women and couples waiting in here would instantly know why she was here. She would get all eyes focused on her and murmurs would begin to spread and (Y/n) could not have that. She had already panicked herself worrying that someone in this hospital was going to recognise Ben and whispers and rumours would begin to spread, but it seemed like no one had recognised him yet.

It felt like they had only sat down for two seconds before a midwife was already calling out (Y/n)'s name. Every time it felt the same the moment she heard her name, (Y/n) wished for time to speed up until her appointment so she didn't have to worry or fret about the baby any longer. But as soon as her name was called out, (Y/n) was screaming for time to freeze and let her have a few more moments of uncertainty. She wanted to stay right here, right now just for a bit longer. Even if she had or thought she had lost the baby, the uncertainty meant that (Y/n) could still pretend.

(Y/n) didn't want to have the scan and go home now because when she got home she would have the same feeling of emptiness. She had already told herself that if she had lost this baby, she wasn't going to attempt to try again in the future.

There was no way that (Y/n) could put herself through this again for it to end the same way. After she left Gwilym, (Y/n) knew she wanted to attempt to have a baby but she couldn't keep trying and failing like this. If the baby was gone, (Y/n) was going to force herself to come to terms with not being able to naturally have a baby.

Ben's head turned to look down at (Y/n) when her hand tightened significantly around his the moment they were stood in the room. He could see the fear in her eyes when she looked over at the screen that would show their fate. He pressed his lips to the top of her head for a few seconds before (Y/n) shakily moved to sit on the bed. Her hand instantly reached out for Ben again until he let her death grip his hand, she'd never done this without holding someone's hand and she didn't want to start now.

"Okay, so I understand you've suffered miscarriages before and you've had some bleeding. Are you still bleeding now?" The midwife's voice was gentle and relaxed in a tone that showed she had asked this many times before.

"It's just spotting now." (Y/n) was desperate to wrap her free arm over her stomach and dig her nails into her arm out of nervous habit but the midwife was getting the gel so she couldn't. She had to settle for digging her nails into her thigh instead and hope that neither the midwife or the Ben noticed or said anything about it.

"Okay, do you know how many weeks you are?" She gestured for (Y/n) to lift her shirt as she spoke before she placed the gel onto her stomach.

"Ten weeks."

The midwife hummed with a very gentle smile before she pressed the wand to (Y/n)'s stomach and started moving it around. She turned the monitor a little so that they could see but (Y/n) turned her head the other way, she wasn't looking at that screen in case she got the news she was expecting. Looking only made the longing and the heartache worse and she wasn't going to do that to herself.

(Y/n) felt like she had been staring into an oblivion for hours before her head quickly snapped to the right to look at the blurry screen when she heard something that she hadn't listened to in over two years.

"B-but... no..." (Y/n) shook her head, not even bothering to wipe her eyes that were already beginning to drown her features with salty tears.

She knew what she felt. (Y/n) had felt that pain and seen that much blood too many times before to know that it meant she'd lost the baby. She'd had dull cramps and the bleeding didn't stop, not even today it was still very small spotting. How could there still be a heartbeat after that? Never had there still been a heartbeat, they had been lucky if they could even spot the baby on screen after that, let alone hear anything that suggested the worst hadn't happened.

Ben pulled (Y/n)'s hand to his lips and kissed the back of her hand but she barely felt the touch. She looked like she was almost angry to get this result and in some respects she was, (Y/n) felt like she had been played, she had been cheated and messed around and hurt for no reason.

"That's not right, I had a lot of bleeding... c-can't you do the internal ultrasound like last time?" (Y/n) knew she sounded desperate and she could see that she sounded like she should be asking them to tell her that her baby was alive rather than dead. But she couldn't help it, (Y/n) knew bleeding was sometimes normally during the early stages of pregnancy but she lost a lot just like her other miscarriages and she had felt the pains. If the baby had a heartbeat then surely something had to be wrong for her to go through that.

She'd had an internal ultrasound last time which was also to see if anything was wrong after having miscarriages before and the nurse last time had said it was more accurate. (Y/n) had gotten the result she had prayed for but it just didn't feel right.

"Baby, this is good news, it's okay." Ben whispered the words in her ear as he rested his temple against the side of her head but he could feel how she was beginning to shake and he could see the fear in her eyes. (Y/n) never got this result.

"The ultrasound is accurate, miss (Y/l/n), the baby is perfectly fine. But the reason you experienced the bleeding is because I think you were having twins but lost one. It's called vanishing twin syndrome and it's rather common, I'd like to take a blood sample, just to be sure."

(Y/n) felt a shiver running down her spine as she subconsciously pushed herself more into Ben as she slowly sat up straighter. She almost wanted to laugh at the absurdness of it and how she and Ben had both been right when he thought the baby was fine and she thought they'd lost them. It didn't seem possible to be able to lose one twin but still have the other one be fine and growing.

"That doesn't make it more likely to miscarry the baby, does it?" Ben briefly let go of (Y/n)'s hand so he could wrap his arm around her waist, holding her to his chest as he looked over at the midwife. It seemed unrealistic that something like this could happen but it made him wonder if they lost one twin, were they more at risk to lose this baby too?

"No, most women go on to experience no further problems at all and statistically it doesn't make mother or baby at any risk. But taking this into account and the previous miscarriages, you'll still have your twelve week scan and a few more checkups, just to make sure everything is going smoothly."

(Y/n) tried very hard to focus on the fact that she was still pregnant but her mind was desperate to focus on knowing that she had indeed lost another baby. It didn't seem right to lose one baby but still be pregnant at the same time, she had still failed yet passed at the same time and it was confusing. But (Y/n) had to focus on the baby she still had or she would go insane.

She was still pregnant, she had a baby with a heartbeat that was perfectly fine despite all the odds that stacked up against her for no reason. This hadn't happened to (Y/n) before, now she just had to make sure they got past fourteen weeks and had no more problems.

When it felt like the tears had finally stopped falling, (Y/n) allowed a smile to form on her lips but the tears almost started again when the midwife handed her a photo of the scan.

"Shit."

A frown pulled at Ben's lips as he tilted his head down to look at (Y/n), wondering what the problem was before he noticed the blood on her shirt sleeve and the small trail leaving her nose.

(Y/n) smiled in thanks to the midwife when she was quick to hand her a tissue but a gasp left her lips when she felt the blood suddenly pouring from her nose like a tap. Pressing the tissue to her nose with one hand, (Y/n) pinched the soft part of the bridge of her nose with the other and tipped her head forward.

"It's alright, very common during pregnancies."

(Y/n) could already feel a headache forming behind her eyes as she breathed through her mouth. Nosebleeds seemed to be the main side effect (Y/n) had in her other pregnancies, once even more than morning sickness and it wasn't the side effect she would choose if given the choice.

But she would take all the nosebleeds in the world if it meant that this baby was going to be okay.

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"Ben no-"

"We'll have to do this sooner or later, why not now?" Ben leaned his head on his hand, his elbow resting on the back of the sofa as he stared across at (Y/n) who was sitting on the other end of the sofa. Their legs were tangled together and Frankie was laid out on the foot stool a foot away from them like she was sleeping on her own little throne.

"Because it's tempting fate." A shudder ran down (Y/n)'s spine at the mere thought of pushing her luck to breaking point even with something as small as this.

(Y/n) could see the pain in Ben's eyes and the way he was trying his best to see this from her point of view but it was hard. They were at twelve weeks now and everything was going fine, there were no signs at all that something was wrong with the baby or was going to go wrong. Ben thought that now might be the time to start telling people about the baby or in the very least, talking about it and the future but (Y/n) wasn't so sure.

It felt like telling people would be tempting fate and could cause something to go wrong. (Y/n) would feel a lot better if they kept this to themselves for as long as possible and then tell people and think about it because it might be safer.

"So what do we do? Baby, I think it's fine to be cautious about this but what happens when you start to show? We'll have to start planning, getting stuff ready..."

Being cautious was fine with Ben, he didn't want to rush ahead or get ahead of themselves to suddenly crash land. But they had to start talking about things at some point, they needed to know what they were going to do about where to live, lest they wanted to stay living in different houses. They had to think about buying stuff and getting things ready for the baby in a few months. (Y/n) had to think when she wanted to tell people because she was going to start showing very soon.

"We're not at fourteen weeks yet, and I can still miscarry up to twenty four weeks or go into premature labour. I've never gotten past four months before, why can't we wait it out a bit longer?"

"Because of what you just said, baby. After fourteen weeks, you'll be panicking up to twenty four and then you'll be waiting for premature labour to happen. I know you, you'll panic and that's perfectly fine and normal, but the longer we wait, the less ready you're gonna be." Ben knew (Y/n) more than she would care to admit and he knew how badly she was going to panic.

The longer they waited, the worse it was going to be because once they past the fourteen week marker (Y/n) would be looking for the next worry sign and that was any week up to twenty four where she could still lose the baby. After that it was a waiting game where she would be so sure she would go into premature labour. Ben would never criticise her for panicking or expecting the worst, it was human nature.

But right now, putting off telling people or planning or even thinking about the baby would make (Y/n) less reluctant to ever get to grips with this.

"Why don't we just tell a few people, just family for now? Then at what, five months, we can tell friends and everyone else. We don't have to plan everything out now anyway but it would be nice to be able to talk about the baby now."

Ben pushed himself forward until he was sitting up with his arms resting on his thighs, looking over at (Y/n).

"O-okay, but you can't tell Joe." (Y/n) shook her head, biting her lip when she noticed the way Ben frowned in confusion. Ben wasn't planning on telling many people, it was mainly his parents and probably his manager because things would need to be sorted out so that he didn't leave for any work when the baby was born. But he would want to tell Joe soon, they were close friends.

"Why?"

"Because he'll tell Gwil." (Y/n) knew Joe wouldn't do it on purpose but he would end up telling Gwilym since they were all good friends and right now (Y/n) really didn't want him finding out.

"Darling, I hate to break it to you but he's going to find out sooner or later whenever he sees you or if other people see you and tell him." (Y/n) and Gwilym had a lot of mutual friends, if any of them noticed (Y/n)'s soon to be baby bump they could just as easily tell Gwilym without meaning to cause problems. He was bound to find out from someone soon and Ben knew it was better coming from him or (Y/n).

If by some miracle Gwilym didn't find out soon, he would know in the end when people noticed (Y/n) or Ben walking about pushing a pram.

"Ben, he didn't take the breakup well and he was beyond pissed when he found out about us. What do you think he'll say when he knows we're having a baby- after it didn't happen for me and him? Ben I know what he's gonna say-"

"I doubt he's going to be over the moon but we can't change this or make it easier for Gwil other than telling him ourselves so he doesn't find out second hand."

(Y/n) tipped her head back, suppressing a groan as she couldn't quite get Ben to see this the way she was. It would come across as insensitive and crude that they were having a baby together after only being with one another for two months right after (Y/n) broke up with Gwilym after five years and a few miscarriages. It wouldn't go down well with Gwilym, (Y/n) knew it.

"He told me before that he thought I wasn't moving on with you, I was just getting with you to get what I want... he meant a baby."

(Y/n) was sure Ben had heard some of her conversation with Gwilym on that day a few months back but he wouldn't have known what Gwilym meant. Gwilym knew how badly (Y/n) wanted children and he knew how badly she took the miscarriages. In his eyes, she was with Ben so quickly after him not to move on but to try and have a baby. It hurt (Y/n) so much to have Gwilym think so lowly of her but right now he was calm and trying to move on, telling him about the baby now would only make him rethink everything and revert back to thinking she was cold and heartless and out for her own gain.

"He thought you were just fucking me to get pregnant, that you were using me?" The anger in Ben's voice made (Y/n) wish she'd never said anything, she had come between Gwilym and Ben already and she didn't want to make that worse.

"He said that because he was upset, I don't think he meant it and it's not true I never intended to get pregnant but now I am and if we tell him he's going to think he was right."

"I know you weren't using me, I doubt you would have hung around this long if that was your intention, baby. But he can't say shit like that and think it's okay... I won't tell Joe but we really need to tell Gwilym soon, the longer we wait, the worse it's gonna be."

Ben rubbed at his jaw as he tried to stay calm but the more he thought about it, the worse it made him feel.

Ben couldn't believe Gwilym thought so lowly of someone he loved and had been with for five years and think she would be with Ben just to fuck him to get a baby. If that was true then (Y/n) surely wouldn't have told Ben about the baby, she would have gone when she got what she wanted, she wouldn't stay with him if she didn't truly want to be with him.

A sigh passed through Ben's lips when (Y/n) pushed herself up until she could turn around and lay in between his legs, leaning up against his chest. It didn't matter what Gwilym said or did because this wasn't about him, this was their relationship.

This was their baby.

[moonlightsolo]

bête noire

summary: The Resistance sent out spies to track First Order trade but they were ambushed. General Leia has decided it’s time to find a new base. It has almost been a month since you’ve given birth. Your relationship with Poe has grown even stronger than before. Your mind can’t stop overthinking about where Kylo is, you haven’t felt him in a while. It’s been too long.

pairing: kylo ren x female reader

warnings: nsfw!!! (ur welcome)

wc: 5.5k

note: this chapter is a lot to handle. ok go read it, bye.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

It seems like over the next couple of weeks the war escalates drastically.

Two Resistance spies took a ship to go on a mission aimed to secretly observe First Order trade.

A barely audible transmission from their ship was sent to the Resistance on Hoth. Poe brings you to the command center since you have intel on the First Order, maybe they think you could know more than them. 

As you both walk into the large meeting room, you notice that mostly everyone from the base is here.

Leia is sitting down in a chair, talking to someone important. The lady cuts Leia off to speak, “Now that we are all here. Some of you may know we received a transmission from the two searching for First Order trades. Prepare yourself as this is hard for some to hear.”

She steps forward and presses on a button. At first, it was static but then the recording was normal as a lady’s voice erupted on the speaker. They were simply updating Leia on how they are going about the operation but she was interrupted by First Order troopers suddenly invading their ship. Blaster shots and screams are heard as they try to fight back.

A groan was heard from the man who was also on the mission, obviously, he got injured. The woman screams at the troopers to stop shooting, letting them take her as a hostage for the sake of his wellbeing. The sound gets muffled as she screams for them to stop then a single blaster shot echoes. What just happened?

Her cries were heard as they dragged her away. They must’ve captured her. Then the other troopers' footsteps could be heard as they raided the ship then the sound cuts out. “They noticed the transmission being recorded, so they shut it off and it was sent to us.”

Leia assumes that the male who is on the mission was too injured then the woman gave up for them to be taken, hostage. Instead, the troopers killed the man and only took her.

Mostly everyone in the room is teary-eyed from hearing such a gruesome scene that happened to their friends.

“The First Order may track the sent transmission back to us. I don’t want to do this, but to be safe we need to find another planet to take refuge on.” Leia’s voice spoke softly to the group. “I don’t want anyone to freak out but we need to leave urgently. Calmly pack up your things into transport ships so we can leave in the middle of the night.” Leia nods then everyone scurries out of the room to pack.

Poe catches your eye, he knows you are panicking. Your babies are almost a month old, how are they going to survive in a ship wanted by the First Order?

He grabs your hand and begins to pull you through the stampede of people to catch Leia before she leaves. “General!” He calls out and she turns around. She seems off, almost weakened for some reason.

“Do you have any idea about where we are going?” Poe asks Leia’s eyes dart around and there are too many people around so she motions for you both to follow her.

She leads you both to the corner of the room, most of the people have flooded out by now but she wants to stay quiet. “We’re looking at Ajan Kloss. It’s a moon that orbits around Ajara. It’s a jungle moon so it’s going to have a much different climate from here. Hopefully, we can easily acclimate there.” She sighs but gives you a reassuring nod.

“The babies will be okay. We will have our cloaking devices on so we’ll be invisible to their trackers.” She holds on your hand tightly before pulling away.

You look at Poe who pulls you in for a quick peck on the cheek, “Go pack everything up. I’ll be there soon to help.” He then follows her to ask more questions.

Your relationship with Poe has grown so much stronger. Kaydel and Poe called things off, and that made you guys even closer. Only really good friends, but you can’t help but notice how he has come to lay in your bed more and talk. Just talking though, no funny business.

Last time you saw Kylo was when he laid in bed with you the night after you gave birth. You’re hoping he’s okay and that he’s just too focused on his work to think about anything else. A part of your brain thinks that he may have given up on you and his children but you try to ignore those negative thoughts.

You take a deep breath as you walk out of the command room and make it back to your quarters. Thankfully, your shoulder has healed mostly and you’ve gotten rid of the sling. You grab large duffel bags and fold your clothes and put your belongings into one and the droid worked on putting the babies stuff in two different backpacks.

Ani and Ellie are much more active now but still so tiny. It worries you to bring them into a jungle. You just need to keep telling yourself it’ll be okay.

It feels like your senses are wiped from you and you lose your breath. You turn to the side slowly, your eyes look over the dark figure. “You’re fleeing. The Resistance knows The First Order is close to finding you.” His voice is deep and stern, “Tell me where you are.” His hand goes out to try and use the Force on you.

You look over him, taking notice of his darker under eyes and messy hair. His armor is in perfect condition like somebody irons it every day for him.

“Kylo. I’m sorry but that’s not going to work on me.” You almost laugh, his hand slowly drops to his side as he realizes. He takes a gulp, his adam’s apple bobbing. You grow concerned for him, your eyebrows furrowing. “Are you okay?” You take a hesitant step towards him, reaching out for his hand.

He seems closed off, “You’re pulling away. I can feel our connection fading because of the light. You need to stop holding on to them!” He grows frustrated, his voice rising slightly. Your facial expression turns into a frown as you slowly move closer, your hand touches his bicep. “I’m not holding onto them. I’m safe right now. We’re safe.” You look back at the children.

“No. You’re not. Once you get into those shuttles, I can’t save you.” He shakes his head and pulls away from your touch.

You felt tears prick at your eyes, a lump growing in your throat. “Just tell me where you are!” His veins pop out on his forehead. You wince as you back up from him, not wanting to be close to his temper.

“No, Kylo. The First Order will kill them all. You know it. Your mother is here, you can’t kill her. I know you can’t.” You sniffle and swallow your emotions. “You’d regret killing your mother just like you do with your father.” Those words caused something to switch in his brain.

“No. Killing my father was the best thing I could have ever done. I grew stronger. I am the leader of the First Order. The largest military faction in the galaxy.” He begins to pace, “If you were here with me, our family could rule the galaxy and take over.” His voice softens as he looks at you, a gleam of evil shows in his eyes.

His words are causing a knife to dig deeper into your heart, “No.. Kylo... We don’t want the same things. I want peace for our children, to play in the grass and in the sun. Not to be stuck on a gigantic weaponized ship in space.” You snapped at him.

You turn around to sling the duffel bag over your shoulder, wiping your tears so he couldn’t see them.

“Kylo, I know you’re torn. You should come back to your family here. Become who you really are...” You hesitate before continuing, “Ben Solo.” You turn around and notice that he’s gone. You felt another pang in your chest, tears now running freely down your cheeks and snot too. You wipe it off with your long sleeve and continue packing.

Poe walks into the room as you sit on the bed, your head in your heads as your mind runs with thoughts. He instantly takes notice to your inflamed face, “Hey, are you okay?” He comes up next to you to sit down and wrap a comforting arm around your shoulders.

You nod, knowing it’s a lie but you lean into his touch. “It’s okay. You don’t need to say anything, I’m here for you.” He tucks your head under his chin as he holds you.

“I’m going to take our stuff to a ship later, I’ll come to see you when I’m done so we can get onto a shuttle together.” He says the plan confidently. The droid interrupts, “Don’t forget about me.” She beeps out. You and Poe laugh, “Of course not.” He says to her.

Poe takes the heavy bag off of your shoulders to move it to the floor. “Come with me.” He grabs your hand, “You got them?” You ask the droid who nods and opens its arms mockingly.

Poe takes your hand and brings you into his bedroom, nothing is off of the walls nor is anything put away. “I need your help packing.” He laughs and you just shake your head with a playful smile.

It takes about thirty minutes for Poe and you to pack up his whole room. Of course, you chit chat throughout the time about what certain knick-knacks meant and why he is holding onto clothes he can’t fit into anymore.

Now both of you are laying on his bed horizontally, legs dangling off the bed as you stare at the ceiling. “Poe. I have a question.” You state softly, still staring at the concrete ceiling.

“Go ahead.” He looks over at you, turning on his side so he could play with your hair. “Why was I left on Crait?” You turn your head to look at him.

His facial expressions freeze, like he’s in shock. “What? Is the answer that bad?” You ask with a nervous laugh.

He lets out a breath before he starts to talk, “You were dead. Well, at least we thought you were... You had no heartbeat, we couldn’t stop the bleeding and you weren’t breathing either. As much as we wanted to take you with us, we couldn’t. The First Order was already beginning to move forward to enter the base. We didn’t even know if we actually had an exit.” He mumbles softly, avoiding eye contact. “But then Rey saved us. She used the Force and the rest of us got into the Falcon. She asked about you and when we told her the news she was heartbroken. She felt like you were the sister she never had.”

You couldn’t help but get emotional, everyone mourned over you and thought about you as if you were actually dead. “Then we traveled around the galaxy and found Hoth.” He let out a sharp breath through his nose. “For months we thought you were dead. I moved on with Kaydel, I started to finally come to terms with your death. Then all of a sudden, Leia tells us that she felt you through the Force. She felt you. It gave me hope you were still alive. Then she told us you joined the First Order, and that you were working alongside Ren.” He scoffed annoyingly which made you roll your eyes and sit up.

You pulled on your long sleeves to cover your hands, bringing the fabric up to your eyes to wipe your tears. “Poe... I didn’t know you thought I died. Honestly, I thought you guys left me because you knew I was dying and wouldn’t make it. I felt like the Resistance gave up on me.” You sniffle as you try to swallow the lump in your throat. Your brain works as you recall the hazy memories from Crait, you remember being alive and waking up. The pain you felt was indescribable.

Poe sits up too, moving closer to your body to pull you into his side. “Look, you’re one of the strongest people I know. You’ve been through some tough shit. You literally beat death so many times.” He gives you a squeeze. You look up at him with a teary smile.

You notice how his eyes travel from your lips then up to your eyes. Is he going to kiss you? Oh no, he definitely is.

Poe begins to lean forward, his dark eyelashes rest on his olive skin. Your eyes stay open as everything moves in slow motion, you admire his facial features as he nears you. One kiss wouldn’t hurt.

You let your own eyes close as you accept his kiss, one of his hands rest in the dip of your waist as the other is on your knee. Your hand comes up to his jawline to cup it and pull him closer.

The stubble on his face scratches you in the most attractive way. Stop, this is bad, you shouldn’t be kissing him. His lips are so addicting though.

He begins to deepen the kiss, his tongue gently rolls against your bottom lip as he tilts his head. A little squeak escapes your throat as his tongue hits yours, he smirks against your lips.

His hand travels up your knee, his other hand is gripping your hip now as he moves forward so you fall back against the bed again. He hovers over you, pulling away from the kiss so he can take a deep breath. You do the same too.

He dives right back in, his tongue dances with yours as his hands grip your hips to move you farther up the bed. Both of your breathing has picked up as you pant into each other’s mouths. His warm hand makes its way under your shirt to grip your pillowy flesh on your side. He hesitatingly pushes his knee between your legs to open them so he could fit between them.

This is going way too far but it feels too good to stop now.

“I know this is so wrong.” He almost moans into your mouth, “But it feels so right.” He begins to kiss down your neck, leaving little marks that will be gone soon.

You let out a whimper, biting your bottom lip as you try your hardest not to rip your clothes off right now. You haven’t been touched in forever and right now you’re throbbing for some relief.

“Poe, I can’t.” You’re crying on the inside, asking yourself why you couldn’t let yourself have some pleasure. You can’t stop thinking about Kylo. Poe instantly pulls his lips off of you when he hears you say no, “Okay, yeah that’s fine. I’ll do whatever you want.” He is breathing heavy above you.

He gently rolls to the side, his back against his bed now. “Sorry, I didn’t expect it to get that intense.” You mumble shyly, “Don’t be sorry. It’s your choice.” He says quietly. “I’m gonna go now. Thanks for... that.” You say awkwardly as you get off the bed. You look back at him once and smile, he returns it, of course.

You need to go take a cold shower to calm your libido, which is what you do as soon as you get into your room. You notice that the droid has taken Ani and Ellie for a walk around the base.

The cold water trickles down your hot skin as you wash away your thoughts. Everything moves in slow motion as your ears start to ring then your surroundings go silent. It’s Ren. You turn the stream of water off, grabbing your towel to wrap around your body then you open the shower curtain. He’s standing there in front of the door.

“The pilot. He kissed you.” Kylo says under his breath. Your ears barely pick it up since his voice is so deep. You stop in your tracks when you realize what he said. Water continues to drip from your hair and roll down your damp skin.

“How do you know?” You ask, your eyebrows furrow in confusion.

“I felt it. I had a vision and I felt you.” His voice is low.

“The kiss meant nothing.” You practically lie through your teeth, knowing it was much more. The kiss was passionate, like a bomb of built-up tension blew up and everything was let loose but it will never be as good as Kylo.

The raven-haired man shakes his head, looking to the side with his head angled down. He almost seems sad.

“No, I am not sad.” He scoffs at your thoughts, “I cannot blame you for your actions. I haven’t made an effort to connect with you.” His head lifts up and he stands up tall with his shoulders back. Before you could respond he changes the subject, “You called me Ben. That’s why I left. You know that’s not my name. The Resistance is changing you. I’m trying to keep you from going to the light but you’re pulling away from me.” He’s stern.

“I’m not pulling away.” You take a step out of the shower, his eyes follow you as you move closer to him. “I know you. I can feel your emotions. You want to be with me and our children but the path you’ve chosen makes the situation much harder for you to just stroll back to your family. People will be scared, they won’t trust you.” You breathe out, your hand coming up hesitatingly to rest your hand on his chest, feeling the ridges of the black fabric underneath your fingertips.

“I love you. I want to be with you but I’m going to have to choose this path for our children. For their well-being.” You look into his eyes and notice how he grows frustrated with your last sentence.

“For their well-being? You’re packing them onto ships targeted by the First Order. They could be blown up easily. If you would join me, you’d be protected! The Resistance does not have enough ships nor the people to try and go against us again.” He proves a point, “The Resistance left you to die. What makes you think they wouldn’t do it again?”

Goosebumps ran across your skin when those words left his mouth, “They thought I was dead. They didn’t leave me to die.” You took a deep breath then you back up from him, “Let me by.” You look up at him and he doesn’t budge as he keeps eye contact with you, “Please.” Your face scrunches up in annoyance. His large frame moves to the side, his hand coming up to mockingly lead the way for you.

You scoff and open the bathroom door to walk out into the cold bedroom with Kylo in tow. You don’t hesitate as you drop your towel in front of him to get dressed, you can feel his eyes on your body. You’re comfortable with him but your body has changed since you’ve given birth.

You were on a strict training plan when you were with the First Order, but with the Resistance you were definitely a bit more lenient with your food intake and the lack of physical activity.

You’ve gained a bit of weight around your hips and thighs, you have new dainty stripes painted across your stomach and hips from being pregnant too. You took a deep breath as you shimmied into your clothing, some joggers and a long sleeve top to keep you warm. You take your towel to wrap your hair up to dry it faster, “You’re different.” Kylo states softly, as his eyes look over your body once more.

You look at him with annoyance written across your features evidently, “What does that even mean?” You laugh as you move around the room to make sure everything is packed away. “You’re leaving soon aren’t you.” He takes a step forward when he notices that you’re occupied with other things. He can’t see your surroundings but he has an inkling to what you’re doing.

You ignore his question, “What do you mean when you said I’m different?” You put the rest of the supplies into the packs before you turn towards him.

“You’ve changed. I’ve said this to you before. It’s good and bad. You’re... beautiful. Although the light in you...” He takes a few steps closer to you, now arms length away. “It pains me to see you turn away from the dark. You have so much power inside of you. I attempted to help you let this power out... Rey is only trying to tame it.” His gloved hand comes up to brush your cheek with his fingers, his thumb rubbing your cheekbone. “I love you.” He breathes out, closing his eyes as he rests his forehead against yours.

You feel tears in your eyes as you close them, “I love you.” Your arms wrap around his waist to pull your bodies closer.

A knock on the door makes both your heads turn, “It’s the pilot.” Kylo hisses out. You can tell he wants to move and become face to face with him but you hold onto him tightly.

“Yeah?” You call out, “I-I just wanted to see if you were okay... After ya know, everything that happened.” Poe’s voice is muffled from behind the door. “Yeah, I’m good. Just got outta the shower. I’ll be out soon.” You try to get him to leave, “Okay. I’m gonna meet Finn and Rey to get some food. I hope to see ya there.” He begins to walk away, you hear the front door open and close.

As you move your head to look up at Kylo, he grabs your face to press his lips against yours roughly. The towel on your head begins to loosen as he backs you up into the wall, the towel falls to your feet and your damp hair falls to your shoulders. “I want you.” He growls into the kiss, it makes you whimper. The way his other hand grips your hip at the waistband of your pants and his other hand on your jaw makes you melt.

“Nobody can please you as I do. You’re connected to me.” He breathes against your lips then he trails kisses down your neck to your collarbone. His hand slips underneath the waistband of your pants, the warm leather tickles your skin as he moves closer to your core.

That’s when you realize there’s still pressure against your hip like he’s holding it. He doesn’t have an extra arm, does he?

He smirks against your skin when he hears your thoughts, “This is gonna feel so good.” He begins to back up from your body, but something is holding you against the wall and there’s still something in your pants. The Force.

You let out a whimper as the invisible hand tickles over your core, you watch how two of his fingers come up and make a come hither motion. Your head slams against the wall as the Force buzzes inside of you, your thighs squeeze shut in reaction. “Oh.. my...” Your voice is shaky as your knees buckle, you brace yourself to fall but he holds you up.

The pleasure that’s buzzing inside of you is euphoric, almost too much for your body to handle. Something vibrates against your clit which makes you cry out and squirm under his restraints. You bite your bottom lip as you pant, you already feel like you’re going to climax.

“Let go. You’re tense, you need to relax.” The force pumps in and out of you, the pace quickening as he feels you. His eyes closed as he focuses, you see white spots as you let go. You gasp for air as your thighs quiver, your toes curling against the floor.

The restraints leave your body, making you fall forward but he catches you before you could hit the ground. “Good.” He praises you as he easily lifts your limp body up to bring you over to the bed.

“Thank you.” He says to you, giving your forehead a kiss. He stands up next to your bed looking down at you, “For what?” You ask out of breath. He just stares at you, “I found out where you are. I’m coming to get you and our children.” His presence leaves your side as he walks away, disappearing before your eyes. You let your guard down and you didn’t even realize he was reading your mind.

You sit straight up in the bed, moving as quickly as you could. You try your best to walk straight so you could slip on some shoes. You leave your quarters as you start to jog down the hallways then you end up in a full sprint, “Poe! Poe!” You scream as you see him walking down the hallway with Rey and Finn.

“He knows. They know where we are. You guys need to leave. Now.” You say out of breath, your hands going onto your knees as you bend over.

Poe’s eyes go wide as he registers what you just said, he doesn’t say anything he just runs away towards the command room with Finn.

Rey stares at you with fear in her eyes, “How? What happened?” She pulls you up to look you in the eyes, “I let my guard down. He went through my head. I didn’t know, I’m so sorry.” You breathe out. Her brown eyes are wide with fear as she turns around to go follow Poe and Finn.

Then you realize the droid is still with your babies, you need to find them. You push past her as you start to run down the halls frantically, Rey calls your name but you just ignore her.

A siren in the base sounds, red lights lighting up in the hallways. Everyone begins to panic as they’re all moving towards the hangar to get onto the ships. You spot the droid with the babies cradled in her arms, you run up to her and take Ellie. “We need to go. Get the bags.” You and the droid begin to run towards your quarters, laying Ellie on the bed as you exchanged your slippers for boots.

You put the duffel bag over your shoulder while the droid grabs the bags for the babies and puts them on her mechanical arms. You scoop Ellie up and begin to join the stampede in the hallway, making your way to the hangar.

Your brain is working so quickly, you don’t know what to do. Adrenaline is pumping through your veins, your heartbeat is so fast.

As you near the transport ship, you see Poe, Leia and Rey are already inside. Kylo reaches out to you through your mind, “If you get onto that ship, I can’t save you.”

You stop in your tracks as the last bit of people board the ships, “Don’t get on the ship. I’ll order to not attack the Resistance.”

His voice sounds promising, tears are now running down your cheeks. You can’t take the chance of having your children die if you get on that ship. Poe walks out to you, “What’s wrong? What are you doing?” He asks, obviously concerned.

“I can’t go.” You shake your head, “What? Why? Stop it, come on.” Poe asks as he tries to lead you to the ship but your feet are anchored into the ground.

“If I go, we will all die. You need to go without us.” Your hand reaches for the blaster in Poe’s sling, grabbing ahold of it to point it at him. You click the safety off, your finger resting on the trigger. His hands go up in surrender, “I’m sorry. You need to go.” You look at the droid who’s standing still with Ani then back at Poe.

You look back at the ship, noticing Rey isn’t by Leia’s side anymore. “Shit.” You curse as she comes up behind you to disable your actions with her staff. The blaster falls from your hands and so does Ellie, Poes quick reflexes make him fall to his knees to catch her before she could hit the ground.

She instantly begins to cry and so does Ani. They’re frightened. Poe rushes onto the ship with the droid in tow. Your face is pressed against the cold concrete of the hangar, wrists behinds your back with her knee against them. “Rey, please. They’ll kill us all if I go with you.” She pulls you up by your wrists, pushing you forward so you stumble onto the ship. She leads you over to the corner of the ship, sitting you down by pushing on your shoulders.

“She is a traitor!” Rey yells at Leia, pointing at you. The droid situates the babies as the ramp closes to the ship, the hangar opens as the ships begin to fly out one by one. They all have the cloaking device on, hoping to stay under the First Orders radar. Not like it didn’t work the first time on the way to Crait.

Rey and Leia bicker back and forth about you and you listen to their words. Leia is trying to justify your actions but Rey says you’re too far gone to be saved. It might be true. Even though Kylo says you’ve turned to the light too much.

Poe walks up to you, looking at you from above. “He’s in your head. He’s corrupting you. Don’t let him do this to you.” Poe bends down to get to your eye level, “I knew that you wouldn’t hurt me.” He breathes out as he brushes back a piece of your almost dry hair.

“We’re all going to be okay.” He says as the ship leaves the hangar, the white snowy landscape shows itself. You hear the thumps of the other ships entering light speed, then the ship you’re on jolts and you’re surrounded by the swirling blue of hyperspace.

You lean back against the cold metal interior of the ship, your eyes glance over to see your babies being taken care of. You’re so thankful for that droid.

“We’ll be off this ship soon and then we will be safe and sound. I promise.” Poe sits down next to you so you could lean your head on his shoulder. “I believe you.” You mumble as you close your eyes and take a deep breath.

-

The shuttles land in the hangar, troops instantly begin to pile out of them to search the premises.

He stands up swiftly from his seat to leave the ship along with the General who is not far behind.

“Supreme Leader. We’re too late, they’ve escaped.” The smaller man sighs.

Kylo Ren’s dark gaze scans over the hangar. He notices that one of the troopers picks up something from the ground. Another armored man walks up to him as they discuss what it is.

Ren takes huge strides towards them, towering over the two as he snatches the cloth from their hands. It’s a baby hat.

He rubs the cloth between his thumb and pointer finger, the leather of his gloves move against it smoothly. The troopers look up at Kylo, “Continue searching.” Kylo orders them and they scurry away.

General Hux walks up next to Ren, instantly noticing the hat in his hand. “A baby... Who would conceive children during a war?” He scoffs, rolling his eyes as he begins to follow his troops towards the entrance of the base. Kylo lifts his head, blinking back tears as he stuffs the hat in the pocket inside of his cloak.

He takes a deep shaky breath, his jaw clenches as he gulps. His tough facade returns, leaving him as the Supreme Leader of the First Order once again.

The troops continue to move around him to explore the base to see if there are any clues to where they have gone.

Kylo begins to walk forward, moving from the hangar and into the hallways. The base now seems like a First Order has captured this base as their own. There is so troops marching around.

The memory he saw in your head replays as he follows the same hallways you walked to make it to where you were living.

His hand grabs the doorknob to the front door to open it, walking inside the home you lived in for months. His eyes glanced over the area, you definitely left in a hurry. He walked forward, pushing open the ajar door to the room you stayed in.

He notices the two cribs in the corner that you didn’t take. He looks over the unmade bed, his hand runs over where you laid. He walks over the cribs, seeing how they’re stripped to nothing. Only the mattress is left. His hands lay over the mattresses, his head hangs as his emotions get the best of him.

He has to get his family back. He needs to protect them, no matter what the cost.

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[donttellpeterparker]

Mafia Boss

Summary: Your boring life living behind sheltered tall walls inside a mansion was about to become a lot less boring once Tom comes along, a rivaling Mafia boss who just may know how to settle the feud.. you.

Requested: No

Word Count: 1.4k

Warning(s)?: Mob!Tom, AU, Spanish parts (used google so may not be accurate), Threats, Swearing??

masterlist

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⤍ Part 2

Mafia Boss

Growing up behind the gates inside a huge mansion as your father and eldest twin brothers deal in illegal drug trafficking and street racing wasn't exactly ideal for you. You hated it, hated the fat that your family sold drugs and build a massive emperor out of it. You hated the fact that you eldest brother street raced every other night claiming 'These streets' as their own. In the end it worked, dad got the Estate he's always wanted, surrounded by bodyguards 24/7 with millions to follow.

But with the money came the enemies. The constant danger around every corner for not only him but also the entire family. You questioned why he even wanted this in the first place but gave up once the answers started getting scary.

So with another mouthful of Ben and Jerry's choc chip cookie dough ice cream you huffed and got off the couch, finally feeling the urge leave prison. You made your way through the 'house', only in your pj's and came across you dads office on the first floor. You sighed inwardly once you saw Harry and Gary standing outside the door in guard.

''Hey Harry, how's the kids?'' You asked friendly, getting alone quite well with both him and Gary. You knew them both since you were in diapers. The both of them felt more like they were friends of the family rather then bodyguards.

''They're going good, Ashley started pre-school last week and already managed to create chaos'' his youngest was always trouble, especially when she came over and you got to babysit her. You nodded along and laughed.

''She's growing up that one'' Gary piped in causing us all to smile. Tugging the silk robe tighter around my body I nod towards the door wondering if it was okay for me to go in. At times we had men that would be over and dad would put at least three guards on me saying they were 'dangerous'. Of course they were, but I knew what that code was for, it was for his enemies. The people he pissed off or was about to.

''Can I go in?'' Both Harry and Gary glanced at each other and shake their heads, not even bothering to mic in to ask my father.

''Not right now pumpkin, he's in a meeting''

''That's what you always say'' I comment back a little annoyed. Gary just smiles and pats me on the head like he use to when I was a child and like always, I grimace.

''For real this time, come back later'' you furrowed your eyebrows together. Your dad had promised he'd take you out today for some father-daughter time. What has come up now?

''But he promised-''

''We know'' This time it was Harry who spoke up. I surrendered and turned to walk away with a scowl. This was so unfair.

''He's sorry'' Gary calls out to me even though I was already half way down the hall. I just nod to myself sadly.

''He always is''

~*~*~*~*

Given that the previous day was non-eventful you were determined to make this one better. You were almost fed up that you wanted to just walk into the office but knew that wasn't the smartest idea. He would kill you.

You woke up in the same pj's as yesterday and hopped down the stairs towards the kitchen and smiled over at Maria as she prepared breakfast.

''Qué estás haciendo (What are you doing) Darling? Please, go shower'' you giggled and plopped yourself down in front of her.

''Ya tengo (I have already) Miss Maria, Qué hay para desayunar (What is for breakfast)?'' You learnt Spanish from Maria since you were 5 years old, it was almost as if it was your second language.

''Very nice'' Maria complimented earning a cheeky smile from you. You reached your hand across the counter quickly and snatched a piece of toast happily popping it in your mouth. Maria scolded you in Spanish as you just smiled.

''I'll give breakfast to dad this morning'' You spoke up after swallowing the mouthful of food. Maria glanced up and shook her head.

''Nonsense Corazoncita (Little heart), I'll have it up shortly'' Even she was acting strange this morning as were Gary and Harry yesterday.

''It's on my way'' You were leaving no room for arguing. You were sick of the hiding. You got up out of your seat once you saw one of the cooks place a plate down. Maria quickly shoot out to grab it before you had a chance to.

''Go upstairs and get changed, we'll have a girls day'' You furrowed your eyebrows at her weird behaviour. Something was definitely up.

''Maria, spill'' She frowned and slowly popped down the plate as she began to explain to you what was going on. You shook your head once she was finished, not believing what your dad was up to now.

''This is ridiculous'' With this you grabbed the plate and headed straight for his office. You managed to sneak past the two new bodyguards standing by his door and opened the doors, balancing the plate on your arm.

You eyes took a few seconds to realise your father was not alone. There were two new heads you have never seen before, both wearing expensive looking suits. All three were around the massive table, sheets, pens and glasses of water in front of them, a scared looking waiter in the corner. You swiftly placed the food down in front of your dad before glancing up to meet one of the men's gaze. He had soft chocolate brown eyes with brown disheveled hair, a small stubble that complimented his sharp jawline. The guy looked like he was sculptured by the gods.

It took your breath away until one of them cleared their throats. You could feel your fathers glare on you, his arm quickly tugging on yours.

''What the hell are you doing in here?'' He hissed quietly to you so only you heard. However, your gaze was still connected with the handsome devil not a few feet away from you. Shit, you were only in your pj's, you bet you looked awful.

''Breakfast...'' was all you mumbled. He quickly let you go and got two bodyguards to swiftly escort you out, a frown settling down on your face. As the doors slammed shut behind you, the two guards now blocking the door you scowled and turned to walk away.

You never got to find out what the hell was going on.

~*~*~*~*

Tom's pov#

''As I was saying, I am sure we can come to some sort of arrangement-'' I wanted to scoff at the old man. There was absolutely no way he was getting out of this.

''We can...'' My mind started racing back to moments before when the mysterious girl walked in. She was perfect for what I had in mind.

''I want the girl'' I could see the man visible freeze. So he was close to her, good. I glance over towards Harrison, my best friend and second in charge and smirked as he did the same.

''I'm sorry, that's simply not possible'' I folded my hands together and placed them on the table leaning over slightly. My eyes grew darker as I could feel my anger and annoyance begin to rise once again with the man.

''The girl or I take your whole Emperor'' I say menacingly, watching him squirm under my gaze.

''Do we have a deal?'' I ask, growing impatient. I had another appointment to get to and honestly, this guy was driving me up the wall. A minute longer here and I'd have him dead. He gulped visibly causing me to smirk.

''I-i'll g-g-et back to y-you'' I glance over at Harrison one last time before rising from the table suddenly, adjusting my suit while sending a warning smile towards Mr Y/L/N.

''I'll be in touch'' With that I turned around and walked towards the door, two men opening it for both Harrison and I. We turned down the hallway as my bodyguards followed suit, leading us out towards two black SUV'S. Sitting down in the backseat, a bodyguard closed the door as I popped out my phone, immediately beginning research on his precious girl.

His daughter? Well this just gets better and better.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: I'm so tempted to create a mini series out of this! This feels like it could be really good! Let me know what you guys think and if you’d like another part! xox

[missnight0wl]

“I'm curious, what would you say to Rakepick if you had the chance, Helena?”

This is something that was on my mind pretty much since Rowan died. So, now that the game basically called me out with that question in the recent chapter, I suppose it’s time to deliver the answer.

Minor spoilers for Y6Ch30, but also not really, because it’s mostly about my “Six minutes” AU anyway.

Words: 2205

Helena and Jae were waiting near the entrance to the Kitchens for a while when Tonks finally showed up, waving her hand at them from afar.

“Sorry I’m late!” she said in a hushed voice.

“The Hufflepuff Basement is the nearest, Tonks. How you’re coming last?” Helena teased her.

“Don’t you know it’s always that way? You think that you have time ‘cause it’s not far, and suddenly, you should’ve left ten minutes ago.”

“That’s true, I can confirm,” Jae backed her up. “I’m almost always late to the next class if it’s on the same level. I mean, I’m usually late to the classes in general, but…” He paused to clear his throat.

The Ravenclaw raised her eyebrow. “Fair enough.”

“What?” He furrowed his brow and shrugged. “All right, but can we go now?”

The girls nodded, so he approached the portrait with a bowl of fruits and tickled a pear. It giggled quietly and turned into a green door handle, letting them enter inside.

“Aren’t you worried sometimes that they might just cut that fireplace off one day?” asked Tonks as they walked between the tables.

“To be honest, I am,” replied Helena. “I’m always a bit nervous using it.”

“Maybe we should start casting the Freezing Charm, just in case?”

“They won’t cut it off,” stated Jae confidently. “It works since forever. If they wanted to detect and close it, it’d happen by now.”

“You’re an expert here,” Helena said with a smile, but then she frowned. “Damn it, is it Pitts coming?”

Both Jae and Tonks glanced back in the direction she was facing. It was enough distraction for her to draw her wand.

“Petrificus Totalus!”

One after another, her friends fell to the ground, motionless. Helena walked closer to them to look into their eyes expressing shock and confusion.

“I’m sorry…” she said in a low voice. “I’m so sorry, but I have to do this alone.”

She scanned the Kitchens. Most House-Elves were busy with their work, but a few were watching her closely.

“They’re fine!” she spoke a bit louder. “We’re just… we’re just playing! You know how students are with their jokes.”

She was aware that she didn’t sound the most convincing, but nobody intervened either way. She felt brief relief that she succeeded in the first part of her plan until she turned around again.

“Pitts!” she gasped. “I can explain…” The House-Elf was standing right in front of her, a mix of suspicion and disapproval on his face. Helena never thought that she could feel so bad about disappointing him. “Actually, I can’t. I have to go to Knockturn Alley, and I have to go alone.”

“Helena Ellis has detention tomorrow.”

She stared at him owlishly. “Yes. I know… I remember.”

“Helena Ellis better be on time. Pitts doesn’t like it when students are late.”

For a moment, she didn’t know how to react. Was she being sent off of the Kitchens? Would Pitts try to stop her if she didn’t get out? Would he alarm Dumbledore? But the House-Elf only get closer to Jae and Tonks to check on them. Then, he looked back at her, and she could’ve sworn that he pointed at the fireplace. It wasn’t time for pondering, though. She took a handful of Floo Powder out of her bag and threw it into the flames before Pitts could’ve changed his mind. Shortly after that, she was in the Leaky Cauldron.

“It’s rather late for trips to Diagon Alley, don’t you think?”

The landlord was watching her narrowly from behind the bar.

“I… I just need a book for tomorrow’s exam,” she stuttered out.

Tom shook his head. “It might be your worst lie yet.”

He didn’t say anything more, so Helena just gave him an apologizing look and ran out of the pub. Right before turning into Knockturn Alley, she hid around the corner to put on the Invisibility Cloak which Jae gave her previously for keeping. She started moving even faster now, but by the time Borgin and Burkes was in reach of her sight, she realised she was too late: Rakepick was just leaving the store. Helena cussed in her mind as she was hoping to have more time for preparation, even if only mentally. Still, nobody followed the Curse-Breaker, so she decided on the spot to take a risk and headed in the same lane.

“Rakepick! We need to talk!” she called, getting the Invisibility Cloak off when the distance between them was appropriately small.

The witch turned around casually with a smirk on her face.

“You’re approaching me in the place like that, and your wand is not ready? How reckless of you.”

It was true. Helena was holding her wand, but her arm was hanging freely along her body. She wouldn’t defend herself in time if she was attacked right away.

“Funny, you sound almost like my brother,” she said before she considered her words.

It seemed to amuse Rakepick even more. “Tell me, Miss Ellis. Do you trust him?”

The girl froze hearing that question. Why would she ask about that from all things? She clenched her jaw, once again feeling like Rakepick could read her like an open book – quite literally.

“None of your business.”

“Do you?” she insisted.

“It doesn’t matter. And why’d you even care?”

“Very well.” She didn’t stop smiling. “You wanted to talk, I’m listening then.”

She was too calm. Something was wrong, but Helena couldn’t figure it out yet. She quickly glanced sideways.

“Don’t worry, we won’t be disturbed,” said Rakepick. “I suppose you have some questions.”

She hesitated before answering. “I do.” She came closer to her opponent. “Why did you do this?”

“You have to be more specific.”

“Why did you do anything of what you did?” she snapped. “You said you want to kill me, then why you didn’t? If you’re so powerful, then why a group of teenagers defeated you in the vault? And then, in the Forest…” The words stuck in her throat, and she had to swallow hard. “Why didn’t you kill me? You had a clear shot, you just had to immobilise Ben and Merula. Just… why?”

Rakepick was unaffected. “You know why.”

Helena paused again. She was trying to keep eye contact all that time, but her voice was much quieter when she finally spoke. “Because you want to lure me.”

“And you came here so I’d kill you, preventing R from getting what they want. Pretty smart. Not without reason, you’re my favourite.” She crossed her arms. To Helena’s surprise, she didn’t get her wand. “Still, why would I go along with your plan?”

A lump in her throat was growing bigger, and she felt that her eyes are getting teary, whether from fear or anger. “Every day since Rowan died, I wish you killed me instead…”

“Do you want to tell me that you’re surrendering?” interrupted Rakepick. “So easily?”

“No, I’m not. You have to stop wanting to fight to surrender, and I never wanted to fight. You have to have hope and lose it to surrender, and I lost mine when you left me! I just… I just wanted to keep my friends safe…” Her voice cracked.

“I praised you a moment ago, don’t ruin it like that now,” complained Rakepick, watching her with her head slightly tilted.

“Just do it,” said Helena through her teeth. A tear fell down her cheek, but she didn’t care anymore. “You hate me, don’t you?! I can’t be this important to them!”

“You have no idea how important you are.”

“What, you want me to put up a fight?! Fine, I can pretend!”

If she didn’t want to kill her, Helena’s going to force her to that. She assumed the stance and was raising her hand already, but Rakepick - instead of drawing her own wand - unexpectedly leant forward, gripping her wrist and twisting it off to the side as if she wanted to avoid getting hit by the spell that way. It didn’t really matter, though. For one, that reaction threw Helena off so much that she didn’t even think of using magic. Moreover, in the very next moment, everything went black and some unknown force started pushing on her whole body, making it hard to breathe. And then, it all stopped, as suddenly as it began.

Helena inhaled sharply. She blinked quickly a couple of times, trying to adjust her eyes to seeing again, and she realised that she’s not in Knockturn Alley anymore. She was standing in some kind of field. Well, they were standing – Rakepick was still with her.

“Are you all right, Miss Ellis?” she asked indifferently. “I hope you’re not gonna vomit.”

“Did we just Apparate?” she rasped out, furrowing her brow. “What the hell is going on...?”

“Helen!”

She turned around, trying to identify a person calling her name, but also spot anything which would tell her where they were. And then, she saw her – running towards her, a bright smile on her face. In the next moment, she was embracing her tightly. Her impact spun them both a little in the way that Helena was facing Rakepick again.

“Miss Khanna, you were told to wait at the house.” There was a sign of reprimand in her voice, but her expression remained neutral.

“I know, I’m sorry. I just couldn’t--” Rowan paused half-sentence, only to make her hug even stronger.

“That’s okay, Patricia. I took care of it, we’re safe.”

A male voice was coming from behind Helena’s back - a very familiar voice. She couldn’t see the face of the man, though, as she was restricted by her best friend’s hold. The friend who was supposed to be dead.

_____

Tonks was pacing back and forth on a short distance in the Kitchens.

“Tonks, could you stop and just sit down already?” Jae murmured, rubbing his forehead.

“I can’t, I’m too nervous…”

“Well, you’re making me more nervous too.”

The girl suddenly halted in her tracks. “Maybe we should go for Dumbledore after all?”

“And get into big trouble?”

“Helen might be in trouble right now!” she snapped.

“No, I know…” Jae stood up and walked to Pitts who was keeping an eye on them. “C’mon, Pitts. She’s gone for too long. You have to let us go after her.”

“Jae Kim and Nymphadora Tonks can wait in the Kitchens. If they don’t want to wait, they have to leave.”

“Pitts! I beg you--” started Jae, but he was interrupted by green flames showing up in the nearest fireplace and Helena emerging out of them.

Tonks made a short strangled sound and rushed to her. The Ravenclaw appeared to be scared about what to expect, only to calm down when Tonks hugged her. Still, when she eventually let her go, she punched her arm hard.

“Ouch!” Helena hissed. “It hurt!”

“It was supposed to hurt!” Tonks yelled at her. “What the hell was that?! Have you lost your mind entirely?”

“I’m sorry!” Helena gave her and Jae a remorseful look. “I really am! But I couldn’t put you in danger like that...”

“And what about the danger you put yourself in?” Jae joined in.

“There was no danger,” she replied weakly.

“What?” they asked in unison.

Helena shrugged slightly. “There was no one there. I had a feeling the whole deal with the Whomping Willow might be just some crazy conspiracy theory, I even talked with Talbott about that.”

Tonks raised her eyebrow with her arms crossed. “So, what took you so long then?”

“I’ve been waiting there for a while. Thought that maybe I’m too early or they’d come back.”

“I can recognise a liar when I see one, and you’re lying like a rug, ma’am.”

“I’m not, Jae! I’m just angry that all that planning was for nothing. We only wasted time.”

“Wait, hold on.” Tonks was clearly pondering on something. “But you did find a Black Quill, didn’t you? How you explain that?”

“I dunno. I mean, someone has to hear about Black Quills finally. The rumours spread at Hogwarts like wildfire, and I keep finding them for years. Whoever it was, they had to pull a stupid prank on me.” Neither Tonks nor Jae seemed to be convinced. “I’m serious! Look, I’m not even hurt! Do you really think I’d be back in one piece if R was there and I was alone? Why would I even lie to you about that?”

They exchanged glances, but they backed down. Pitts also started complaining about their presence in the Kitchens, so they decided that it’s better to evacuate. When they were outside already, Tonks insisted to walk Helena all the way to the Ravenclaw Tower, but Jae took that responsibility on himself - it was an unnecessary risk for her to go back later. Two of them quickly sneaked through empty corridors and finally reached a parting point.

“Listen, Jae, I’m really sorry about earlier.”

He smirked. “Don’t worry, I’ll find the way you can repay me. But, Helen…” He got more serious. “If anything happened there that--”

“Everything’s fine, I swear,” she cut in and hugged him. “It’s all gonna be all right.”

[fallinallincurls]

Grocery Store FaceTimes

word count: 1k

~~~~~

Shawn’s POV

The coldness of the diary aisle was seeping through my soft tshirt as I desperately tried to remember what ice cream my girlfriend had sent me out for. There were a thousand different containers and cartons lined up in the coolers, but each one looked the same. People passed me by all on their way to get the things on their list so they could head home again. I stared ahead at the colorful containers before sighing.

"Ugh." I muttered to myself adjusting the half full basket of groceries to my other arm and pulling my phone out of my jeans pocket. Unlocking it and pressing the small green app button with a camera on it, I tapped Y/N's name at the top of the list.

The familiar sound of the FaceTime call left my phone's speakers as I patiently waited for Y/N to pick up. After only a few rings, the call connected and the screen changed, my beautiful girlfriend's image on the phone. "Hi sweetheart!" I smiled at the camera.

"Hey love. Is everything okay?" She asked concerned, squinting slightly at the screen. I nodded quickly.

"Everything's good. I just forgot what ice cream you wanted," I stated, feeling the blush creep into my cheeks as I placed the basket on the floor next to my feet. A wide smile spread across Y/N's lips as she snuggled deeper into the blanket she was under on the couch.

"You're too sweet. Mint chocolate chip. How'd you forget?" I shrugged, watching her laugh through the phone. "How long have you been standing in that aisle freezing?" Y/N gestured to my black tshirt, her eyes twinkling.

"Probably close to twenty minutes now," a soft chuckle left my lips. I opened the large door to one of the freezers and pulled out a carton of ice cream. Flipping the camera around, I held the ice cream out in front of me to show it to Y/N. "Is this good?"

"Nooo, where'd you go?" Y/N whined, noticing the camera wasn't on my face anymore. "Shawnnn," she drew out my name, completely ignoring my question.

"Baby, the faster you help me pick out this ice cream, the faster I'll be home to cuddle with you." I said, the corners of my lips pulling up in a smile. Immediately, Y/N's face lit up with happiness and she stared intently at the phone.

"Okay, okay." She focused on the ice cream I still had on the camera. "Not that one. Do they have Ben & Jerry's?"

"Umm..." I trailed off, flipping the camera towards my face again, picked the basket up and walked down the aisle until I spotted the familiar containers of Ben & Jerry's. "They have mint chocolate chip. Do you want that one?" I asked, reaching into the freezer to grab the cold pint.

Y/N laughed through the phone and nodded. "Yeah. Can you get two? One for me and one for you?" She asked softly, pulling the blanket tighter around her. Just as I nodded and reached for another pint before dropping them both in the basket, I heard a voice saying my name. "Who's that?" Y/N leaned in closer to the phone.

"I don't know," I stated simply heading down the aisle, phone in one hand and basket in the other. Suddenly, Y/N laughed sweetly and I focused on my phone.

"Shawn, it's probably your fans. You're in the store with me on FaceTime while shopping for ice cream. They're probably freaking out about how cute it is," she explained with a smile that never failed to take my breath away.

"What's cute?" I asked confused as I continued to walk towards the front of the store where the registers were located.

"You FaceTiming me to see what kind of ice cream I wanted." Y/N giggled, her eyes dancing playfully as she met my gaze through the phone.

"But I do this all the time. What do you mean?" The words fell off my lips with a shy smile before Y/N spoke again.

"I know, but it's absolutely adorable and I love it. Seriously though, love, please hurry home. I want your cuddles and ice cream," Y/N pouted and a soft chuckle escaped my lips.

"I love you babygirl," I said happily, placing the basket on the floor at the open self checkout register.

"I love you too," she answered softly, blowing me a kiss. "Thanks for calling me."

"There was no way I was coming back home with the wrong ice cream." I laughed, scanning the few items the basket contained and paying. "Hold on one sec love," two fans approached me as I exited the store. The two girls asked for a picture and I flashed a smile as I stood behind them for a selfie.

"Wait, can I say hi?" Y/N's voice left the speakers on my phone as the FaceTime call continued.

"Is that your girlfriend?" One of the fans asked. I nodded with a smile, feeling my cheeks heat up with blush.

"Yeah. I FaceTimed her because I wanted to make sure I got the right ice cream." as soon as the words fell of my lips, the two girls simultaneously let out an "aw".

"Told you," Y/N pointed out with a laugh. Rolling my eyes, I flipped the phone around so the camera was facing the two girls and they could see the screen holding Y/N's image. "Hi!" She said enthusiastically, waving at the two girls from her position, still snuggled up in her blanket. They talked for a moment before the girls headed on their way and I entered the parking lot, unlocking the Jeep.

"Okay baby, I'll be home in five minutes. Don't start another movie without me." I smiled at the camera as I got in the driver's seat and placed the bag on the floor.

"See you soon, babe. Thank you again. I love you," Y/N said quietly, a fond look in her eyes as she shot me another gorgeous smile.

"Anything for you, sweetheart. I love you too. See you in a minute," I answered before Y/N ended the call and I headed home, ready for a night with the love of my life filled with cuddles, love and Ben & Jerry's Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream.

tag list: @imaginashawnns​ @ellalynnrose​

[stellar-alley]

Everfalls

•Chapter 10•

This is based off of the artwork by oceanteeeth on Instagram! Also shout out to my Beta super.rose.cosplays!

Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

(Summary: Bill’s past catches up to him which could endanger Eddie’s future.)

~

Bill Denbrough had gotten over his father’s death. Yes it hurt, he cried, but what hurt even more was watching the rest of his family deal with the loss. Georgie was torn up and his mother sometimes wouldn’t even leave her room. But they were healing and Bill was better. Yes he has gotten over the death of his father, Zack Denbrough, but he has never been able to shake the feeling that there was always something else he was missing.

The police that found him in the woods said he had been dead on sight. The doctors said he had a heart attack. Which just seemed… off, to Bill.

Zack had left for the weekend for one of his various hunting trips. Most people go out in groups, pairs, when they hunt, not Zack. It’s something he’s done tens of times. Every other time he returned without a scratch. Especially the whole death by heart attack. No one in his family has ever suffered from any heart problems and his father was in great physical shape. So this sudden heart attack, caused Bill to believe that something else might’ve been the cause of his father’s untimely death, he may not know what, but he knows it’s something.

The case had gone cold, if that’s even the right term. Since there wasn't really a case to freeze. His father died of a normal heart attack, case closed. So all of his belongings were returned to the family as they were not needed for further investigation. Then, a couple weeks back when Bill was out on the Hanlon's farm with Mike, he lost his phone, never to be found again. Bill opted to inherit his father’s old Iphone 8. His mother was just about to throw it away so he decided to put it to good use.

There wasn't much info on it to erase and Zack mainly used the phone for calling and texting his wife and son (Georgie was too young to have a phone). But when Bill entered his father’s photo album, he was left speechless by what he saw. It wasn't much, no, it was merely a simple photo of a white rabbit. A white rabbit with impossibly blue eyes.

White rabbits were rare, Bill had never seen one before in real life and even then, when you asked someone, they always knew about white rabbits but not many (If any) have actually ever seen one with their own two eyes. That and the fact that the photo was taken the day his father died.

While Richie was explaining the math homework to Bill that night after school, his eyes began to wander. They scanned the Tozier’s yard, eventually falling upon a small white rabbit that sat just behind the corner of their house. It’s icy blue eyes pierced Bill's soul. Suddenly a pit was created in his stomach, it twisted his insides and made his heart beat out of his chest.

Richie tilted his head like a confused puppy, “You good, Big Bill?” he waved a hand in front of Bill’s face to get his attention.

Bill’s mind cleared as he realized where he was, and what he had just seen. “S-Sorry Rich, can you g-give me the sp-sparknotes version? I can’t stay too long, Gu-Georgie is home al-lone” Bill stuttered a little bit more than normal. His thoughts messed up after he saw the rabbit. But nonetheless he carefully listened as Richie quickly explained the rest of the question.

Once they were done, Bill gave his friend a quick goodbye before booking it in the same direction the rabbit went. Richie talked for another couple minutes after he first saw the creature, how far could it have gotten?

~

Bill sunk behind the bush and hid when Eddie turned to look around him. The human held his breath in hopes of not being found, but he worried that whatever that is won’t be able to hear his heartbeat as it was practically beating out of his chest.

Yes, he was still reeling over the fact that he just saw some small white rabbit turn into a full fledged human. Eddie, that human is fucking Eddie. He looked down at his phone that he had just taken the photos on. He made a mental note to check them later when he wasn’t about to be discovered.

What would he do if he found me? What is he capable of?

Bill’s mind was spinning. He wasn’t even sure how long he had been sitting there. It was the cold wind of the night that pulled him from his thoughts. When he stood up and looked around, Eddie was gone.

Heading home was hard, Bill was the best biker of all the Losers, yet tonight he nearly tipped over twice and had trouble getting going. He couldn’t shake the image of the white rabbit out of his head.

Bill always knew his father hadn't died of a heart attack. He knew it had something to do with that damned white rabbit, somehow. Now he finally has a lead. Eddie.

~

Going to school the next day Bill's foot wouldn't stop tapping. Not during breakfast when he saw Georgie drinking milk out of his dad's old favourite mug. Nor did it stop on his bike to school, and it certainly didn't stop during lunch when he was the first one at the table watching everyone fill in and waited for the rest of the losers to come, for Eddie to come.

“You okay Bill?” Mike nudged his side. Bill jumped a little at the sudden attention.

Bill shook his head, “Just n-nervous. I've got this b-big project for history” he formulated the lie with ease, after his father passed, Bill had become a little too skilled in the art of lying.

“Need a hand? I had History last semester and I got a pretty good grade if you need help” He offered Bill one of his iconic ‘Mike Hanlon Support Friend’ smiles.

Bill returned the smile, “T-Thanks Mikey, but I should be okay” he noticed Eddie and Richie had entered the cafeteria as he finished his sentence. His eyes found their way down to his lunch where he began to focus on his untouched sandwich.

He waited until the duo got comfortable at the table before he tilted his head up and greeted them. “Ho-How was your n-night?” Bill mentally cursed out his stutter for getting worse under pressure.

Richie inhaled as if he were about to give a speech, “Well Billiam after you left my house I went and jerked it for a-”

“Beep Beep Trashmouth” Stan hissed.

Bill couldn’t help but notice the way Eddie tried to hide his smile as he raised a hand to muffle his giggle. “What about you E-Eddie?” Bill asked with a small nod.

“Oh! My night was fine, just studied and watched TV” He responded with a shrug.

Bill nodded in understanding. The human waited until the conversation became dull before he spoke his mind, “H-Have you guys ever suh-seen a white rabbit around he-here?”. He had to bite his tongue to ensure he didn’t smirk when he saw Eddie visibly flinch under the table.

“It’s actually pretty interesting cause they’re the rarest type of rabbit” Ben informed them with a little pride in his voice.

Mike took a moment to think over his answer before he spoke, “I’ve never seen any near the farm. Well, I’ve seen lots of rabbits, but never white ones” he realized.

“Weird…” Beverly’s voice trailed off as she stared at her uncapped water bottle she held in her hand. She then shrugged, unphased by the realization and took a swig of her water.

Neither Richie nor Eddie contributed to the conversation, and Bill noticed. He also noticed the silence conversation the two shared with their glances and glares. Bill didn’t mention it though, he can’t give them reason to start wondering about him, not when he’s this close to finding out what really killed his father.

The final bell of the day rang throughout Derry High as Bill and Mike walked out of their final class together, Writer's Craft.

“Hey Mikey?” Bill asked.

Mike turned to look at him as he caught his attention, “Yeah Big Bill?”.

“Can I tu-talk to you?” Bill requested as he paused before the boys bathroom and gestured for him to follow.

Mike followed without further question, because that’s the type of friend he was. Always there for everyone.

It was the end of the day so the bathroom was empty. Mike spoke first, “Is everything all-”.

“I think I have a lead on my dad’s murderer” Bill cut him off, getting straight to the point. Not a stutter in sight.

Mike’s face instantly scrunched up, “W-What? Bill your dad had a heart attack”.

“W-we don’t know for sure-”

“Yes we do! Bill I know it was hard but how many times have you come to me saying that?” Mike stopped mid sentence. He let out a small sigh before continuing, his voice held a tinge of sadness as he knew how hard it’s been for Bill. “There’s literally no other way your father could have died. He didn’t have any physical trauma and there weren’t even any fingerprints, it was just his heart” Mike tried to keep a calm tone, but it was hard.

Bill shook his head, “L-Look” He said as he slid his phone from his back pocket and entered his camera roll where he intended on showing Mike the photos he took of Eddie during the previous night. But when he clicked on his most recent photos, all of the ones he took of Eddie were white, as if he had taken then with the flash and it had whitened them out.

“W-What? Mike, no- I swe-ear they were here” Bill’s breathing began to quicken as he rapidly scrolled through his phone. NO, No, no, no, no…

He was about to speak when Bill’s breath hitched. Mike enveloped him in a hug. Bill buried his face in Mike’s shoulder.

“I know, it’s hard… Really hard.” Mike whispered as he began to rub slow circles into Bill’s back, “I know…”.

~

The conversation he previously had with Mike was on replay while Bill slowly walked through Derry. He kept a close eye on his target. He ducked behind bushes and hid behind trees in hopes of going unseen like he had last time. He followed a solid 30 feet behind his target, always staying out of sight.

He followed him through town, passed all of his friends houses and all of the main buildings. The houses became bigger and more spread out. Bill looked down at his watch, he’d been on this trail for nearly an hour.

Where are you going Eddie?

Bill glanced from behind a tree and watched as Eddie entered the forest. The human watched for a couple minutes before he continued behind him. Bill followed him into the deep woods and down an old overgrown path. He could see the end of the path ahead, so he sat behind a cluster of rocks, casually peaking out every now and then, only moving once Eddie left the forest. He made his way quickly to the end and hid behind a tall evergreen tree. He watched as Eddie walked out into the middle of an empty field and just simply disappeared.

“What the…” Bill’s eyes grew wide as he got to his feet. He waited and watched, slowly walking backwards.

Where did he go? What the hell just happened?

He kept moving backwards, his mind was so overwhelmed that he didn’t even notice the rock under his foot. He only noticed it once it caused him to trip and fall backwards. He landed on his back with his hands trying to soften the blow.

Fuck this

Were Bill’s last thoughts before he scrambled to his feet and fled.

Word Count: 1994

Billiam's villian backstory finally plays out MUHAHAHAHAHAH I hope you guys enjoyed! ANd that everyone is excited to see what comes next! Cause stuff is finally starting to happen and I'm so excited for y'all to see it!

Until then I'll see you next friday, So Long and GOodnight.

~

[Taglist]

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Let me know if you wanna be added to the tag list!

[midnightwriting]

A story idea : By India Tungate

But now, my biggest fear was my reputation. Because reputations rule your life, right? One stupid mistake and suddenly your world can come crashing down all around you in a thousand of bloody pieces. Piercing right into your soul. Changing how you appear on the outside to everyone else and leaving scars on the inside.

I exhaled softly, hoping that Jacob couldn’t hear me crying as I sat in the passenger seat of his pick-up truck. I didn’t want him to think that tonight went completely wrong because of him. It was all me. It is always my fault.

“Look, it’s fine.” He spoke softly as he tapped his fingers nervously on his stirring wheel. “I should had known better than to ask you out on a date this soon after you and Lucas broke up.”

Hearing his name seemed to have set my soul on fire. The hairs on the back of my neck stood tall and my hands began to sweat. My stomach began to tighten and I could feel the heat of vomit rising in the back of my throat. The name Lucas is forever ruined for me.

“I was the one who agreed to it. It’s fine Jacob.” I replied quickly as I kept my focus on the flashing white line from the road.

His tapping grew louder, catching my curiosity. I watched out of the corner of my eye as Jacob reached his hand out towards me. I turned my face towards him and gave him a look that clearly stated “I do not want to be touched.” But yet he continued to reach for me until his hand landed forcefully against my leg.

“Jacob...”

“You know, I just thought that since you fucked Lucas that you’d like to know what a real man felt like.” His voice changed. It was deeper, rougher, hiding something.

I shoved his hand away and opened my mouth to say something but before I could, he reached out and grabbed my leg again, this time a little to close to my underwear. I growled in anger as I grabbed a hold of his fingers and tried my best to bend them backwards.

“Are you fucking kidding me Jacob!” I screamed.

“What? You are the one who decided to wear a skirt on a first date. Everyone knows that is code for easy access.” His eyes were glowing with mischief as they swept over my body. I suddenly felt dirty.

“I thought you were my friend!”

“Darlin’, ever since you decided to steal your best friends boyfriend and fuck him after only a few weeks of dating, you have no friends.”

Hot rage began to burn inside me. It took everything in me to calm my voice as I spoke, “Did Val put you up to this?”

“I’m not a rat.” He chuckled, unfazed by the tugging I was doing on his filthy fingers.

“Jacob please! Stop this! I didn’t even have sex with Lucas. The asshole tried to pressure me into it but I told him no. He was pissed and decided to spread the rumor around so that he could have his bragging rights and ruin my reputation. I’m not that kind of girl.”

Jacob’s hand gripped my leg so hard I squealed out in pain. “I know.” He admitted and shoved his hands up my skirt and into my underwear.

Hot tears strolled down my cheeks. I don’t understand why this is happening. Why Jacob was being so cruel to me. I tried to scream but panic gripped my throat. He saw me reach for the door handle and before I could try and escape, ready to jump, Jacob hit the door locks.

My hands were so wet with sweat that I had a hard time pulling the lock switch. As my fingers failed to listen to me, Jacob let go of my leg and held down my hands. He revved the truck’s engine and chuckled loudly with it’s echos.

“Your a evil piece of shit!” I spat and lifted my leg to kick his arm away but as everything else goes in my life, my plan backfired. Jacob’s tight grip found its familiar place on my thigh. He now had a hold of my hand and thigh. With one motion he placed my hand on top of my underwear and forced me to rub myself.

“You know you love this Mia. Let me just show you a good time.” His voice purred.

I kicked. I clawed. I pinched. I tried to bite him.

I twisted. I screamed. I cursed. I cried.

Nothing worked. Jacob was one of the largest males on our high schools football team and there was no way that my scrawny self was going to get away from his grip. I wanted to give up. I almost stopped fighting. Until it happened.

All I remember was hearing a huge smack. Then the crushing of metal. Glass sprinkled all around us. The world came to a quick halt. My head became fuzzy.

It took me a few minutes to regain my conscious. The first thing I noticed was how cold I felt. My body was shaking and I wasn’t sure if it was from adrenaline or from freezing.

Was I dying?

Is this what death feels like?

To my surprise, I was able to move my arms. It was then that I noticed I was laying on something hard. I felt dirt under the palms of my hands. Did I fly out of the windshield?

I pushed with all of my might and after a few failed attempts, I was able to push myself from the ground. I felt stiff but had no pain. I checked my legs and then my arms for any cuts but I had none.

“What the...” I tried to speak but the site before me took my breath away.

Jacob’s truck was crushed. I ran towards the front and saw that it was completely smashed in. It looked as if we had hit a brick wall but yet the only thing around us was a few trees and an open road. No cars. How could this of happened?

I ran around until I reached the drivers side door and began pulling against it.

“Jacob! Are you okay?” I shouted.

I couldn’t see a thing through the crushed metal. My throat began to tighten with fear. Could he be dead? What the hell just happened!

I paced the side of the road, praying that Jacob was on the ground as I was but I couldn’t find him. Before I could reach the truck, the sound of sirens bled through the air.

“And that is really what happened?” A piercing voice snapped me back into reality.

I blinked away the memory and took in a deep breath, hoping to calm away my nerves. I looked up, tears streaming down my eyes, and studied the woman’s face.

She looked unraveled by my story. Her dark brown eyes watched me closely from across the small table. Red painted nails began to drum against its wood surface, shoving me back into the memory of Jacob tapping his stirring wheel. Alive.

But he’s dead now.

And even though he was taking advantage of me, I wouldn’t of wished death onto him. But somehow an in invisible wall stopped him from slipping his fingers inside me. Somehow the truck crushed into us, twisting into Jacob’s body but magically I came out of the crash without a scratch.

I guess that is why I am stuck inside of a tiny room at the Langley’s Police Station and have had to repeat my part of the story three times now. Each time I have received the same judgmental looks and snickers. No one believes me. And I couldn’t blame them.

I’m starting to wonder if I could believe myself.

“So Ms. Overton, your.....”

A knock on the door interrupted the detective. With a quick frustrating huff, she motioned for a guard to open the door and as soon as her eyes landed onto our newest guest, a frown draped across her face.

“What are you two doing here? I have the rights—“

“I’m sorry Detective Mullins but we will be taking over this case.” A woman appeared from the shadows. Her voice moved through my body like silk. She wore a stunning white dress that hugged her body in all of the right places while keeping her style business appropriate. Her hair touched the base of her neck and was dyed an unusual shade of dark red. She had lips to match it along with a pair of enchantingly golden eyes.

I was so intrigued by this mystery woman that once Detective Mullins shouted my whole body shuttered, ripping me back into reality.

“This is bull shit! This makes twenty cases this month! Twenty! You can’t do this.” She argued, flaring her nose as she spoke each word.

“Oh but I can. Now if you will excuse me, I have some work to do.” The woman waved her hand at the guard who took Detective Mullins by the arm and led her towards the door.

“I’m talking to Ben!”

“Whatever you must dear. I really don’t care. Goodbye!”

The door slammed from behind Detective Mullins, leaving the intriguing woman and myself alone in the room together. I looked towards the door, puzzled that there wasn’t a guard in the room with us. Then I studied the mirror, wondering who was watching us from behind its two sided glass.

The woman snapped her fingers, startling me. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a handkerchief and handed it towards me. I tried to smile a thanks but my strength was gone from the past 24 hours of interrogations.

“I’ll tell you the same story that I have told everyone else.”

“There will be no need for more story telling Mia. I believe you.” She smiled as she reached into her pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes.

I watched her closely as she placed a cigarette into her mouth and inhaled its cancerous smoke. She didn’t look like she was mocking me but I wasn’t sure if I could take her seriously. Especially with that cigarette in her mouth.

“You believe me? Why? Everyone else thinks I’m crazy.”

The woman blew a puff of smoke towards the ceiling, her golden eyes piercing into mine the whole time. She rose one of her red brows and took in a deep breath before she spoke.

“I believe you because I know the truth about you. And I’m here to get you out of here and take you to a place where you’ll feel safe.”

“Wait, what?” I baffled, unsure of what this woman was saying.

“Mia, sweetie, your enchanted. And your not safe here anymore.”

[acdeaky]

london in winter

warning: fluff, dialogue heavy at parts 

note: happy secret santa @anotherhystericalqueen​ and merry christmas! i am so so happy with this and i hope you enjoy it! mwah 💋

word count: 2.3K

at the beginning of every person’s life, their skin is untainted. the clean flesh that covers their body is yet to be graffitied by the hopes of love and forever with a soulmate. children grow up learning the stories of their parents and grandparents, their meetings and the day they met. even before they knew the name of their soulmates, children were dreaming of the day they would meet the person they were meant to be with for the rest of their lives. many were excited, others nervous about who it could be. but they all went about their lives without worrying too much, waiting until the day when their countdown begins. 

the tattoos appear around age 13; unlucky for some, others not so much. it’s like a game of figuring out who’s soulmate is who’s. at 13, there’s a limited amount of people who it could be, so finding your soulmate at the same school was rare. but people still found enjoyment in the subject. teasing their friends about the name of their soulmate even though they knew that it wasn’t anyone they actually knew at that moment in time. 

a name and a countdown is what covers everyone’s right wrist. seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and even years. it’s the one thing that’s always on everyone’s mind: who’s mine?

it was september 21st 1996 when joe mazzello’s wrist was littered with the name Y/N and a countdown which wouldn't expired for another 23 years. he remembers his older sister and younger brother begging him to show them his wrist. mary had already experienced the excitement of the tattoo and has showed his friends as soon as possible, john was yet to experience that. but joe couldn't bring himself to show his family the thing he should have been excited about. 

he tried to keep it quiet throughout the years, but people caught sight of it - friends, family and fans - but when asked about it, joe kept quiet and just shrugged it off. there was no reason that his friends and family could think of as to why joe was secretive about it. unknown to anyone but him, joe was embarrassed; embarrassed about meeting his soulmate at the age of 36, even when he knew there were people who had to wait longer than him. 

that day where he saw he only had a few hours until he met his soulmate was a day he had waited long for. images and thoughts of what she looked like filled his mind as he tried to go about his day as normal. 

but things don't happen like that. 

it was 25th february 1998 when Y/N L/N’s wrist was littered with the name joe and a countdown which wouldn't expire for another 21, almost 22, years. she remembers her friends the countdown regardless of how long away it seemed. all of her friends has already gotten theirs; some where short and some were a bit longer, but her’s was the longest. that didn't matter to her. the excitement of knowing that someone out there was made for her was enough. 

she didn't keep it quiet throughout the years; everyone she met was asked about their name and countdown and her’s was shown to them. the joy on her face when she spoke of the ‘joe’ who she was yet to meet brought a smile onto anyone else’s face. unknown to anyone but her, Y/N was nervous; nervous about meeting her soulmate who she had dreamt of since her 13th birthday, even when she knew there was nothing to be worried about. 

the day where she saw she only had a few hours until she met her soulmate was a day she had waited long for. the nerves she had once felt had turned into excitement and she struggled to go about her day as normal. 

but things don't happen like that. 

00:28:03

london in winter is something that deserves to be seen by the world. the way the blanket of snow lightly covers place from big ben to the london eye, the houses of parliament to buckingham palace; nowhere is safe from the wrath of winter in england. the majority of the cold weather is fought by pedestrians cowering in warm buildings, cups of coffee or tea in their hands, warming themselves on the inside and outside. 

hats, gloves and scarfs are removed as soon as the blast of warm air from inside the shops hits shivering bodies, Y/N’s being one of them. as she walked into her local coffee shop to get her usual breakfast, things seemed like usual; the regular barista was behind the counter, the man three floors down from her was doing his morning work in his usual corner, the line was two people long like it usually is on a saturday morning. as much as her excitement crept up on her, and as much as she thought her day wouldn't be like this, things seemed normal.

too normal. 

honestly, Y/N was just glad to be able to get her breakfast quickly and sit in her usual seat. still bundled up in her coat and scarf, she looked out of the large front window to gaze at the snow which fell gently onto the streets of london and the surface of the thames. almost as quickly as she started, her breakfast was finished. she waved goodbye to the barista and stepped out into the cool air. 

it was refreshing for her cheeks, too warm from the heating of the coffee shop and ready for the harsh winter weather again. like usual on her saturday, Y/N walked through the backstreets she knew so easily and ended up at parliament square garden. a short walk over westminster bridge would lead her back around to her apartment building. 

00:51:46

anticipating the british winter was something that all failed to do. somedays it would be cold in the morning, but grow warmer as the day went on. somedays it would be warm in the morning, but grow colder as the day went by. other days it was just down right cold. today was one of those days, but joe had failed to listen to the advice of his two best friends and had opted out of wearing gloves and a scarf saying “i’ll be fine, it can't be that cold”. but how wrong he was. 

joe ended up taking refuge in a bustling starbucks where about a dozen other people had the same idea as him; getting a coffee to warm them up on the inside and the outside. he felt like he had been there, waiting in line, for hours (it was only 15 minutes), but had finally gotten his coffee, added what he liked and had found a lone seat towards the front of the shop. it gave the perfect few of the small part of london he was in. as he watched the snow fall onto the streets, he thought of california, of new york, of home, wherever that may be. this weather was different to anything else, it was unusual. 

when he woke up this morning, joe didn't think he would be sat freezing in a starbucks alone. if anything, he had hoped to be there with his soulmate later on in the day. he definitely didn't plan to be as cold as he was and definitely didn't think he would have to take refuge in a coffee shop. 

he made a mental note to listen to ben and gwil more often. 

once his coffee was drunk and he had warmed up significantly, joe made his way back into the cold and continued down the streets of london which weren't exactly familiar to him. he recognised a few landmarks here and there, but nothing told him where he was. after walking on further, he reached the jubilee gardens (which he only recognised due to ben talking about the london eye being near them). having a sense of surroundings, joe walked along the bank of the thames, watching the london eye go around slowly as he passed. 

00:13:19

westminster bridge brought about the perfect viewing spot for the london eye, the houses of parliament and the hungerford bridge just further down the thames. amount the snow, ice and other pedestrians, Y/N stood leaning on the edge of the bridge, watching the snow fall and the world go by around her. the calmness of her day and the weather made her forget all about her soulmate. the closeness of the time to their meet, the seconds ticking by, but no care was given in that moment; her view couldn't be more picturesque if it tried. 

00:06:27

new boots and ice were never a good match, but, like the rest of joe’s short day, things hadn't gone exactly to plan. as much as he tried not to slip, he felt like a deer walking for the first time as he gripped onto the side of the stairs, trying to survive before making into the top. once he did, he decided between venturing further into london or crossing the bridge to the right of him (only god knows what it was called in joe’s mind). the bridge seemed like the better option, rather than getting himself lost in the depths of london again.

joe stepped onto the bridge, his feet trodding in the snow as he managed to find patches where no ice could be seen. as he walked, he glanced at his surroundings, in absolute awe of london in winter. the snow settled on the thames and the paths gave a winter wonderland feel to streets. even though the day had been unusual, joe was glad that he refused the guidance of ben and gwil, happy that he found this himself-

“oh, my god, are you okay?” and suddenly, all joe was seeing was the sky. “let me help you.” was all he could hear as he tried to place what had happened.

“thanks.” he mumbled, brushing himself off and dusting his hair of snow. just as he brought his hand down, his coat sleeve had rolled up slightly.

00:00:00

“this will sound crazy, maybe or maybe not, but...are you Y/N?” she only nodded, slightly scared at how this strange man knew her name.

“i-i don’t know if i should answer that.”

“what about your wrist? what does it say?” joe. she knew, had it sketched into her mind as well as her wrist. joe. she had even worked out the day they would meet (and as it got closer, the time as well). joe. with her watch still at home and her phone in her pocket, she had forgotten that today was the day.

joe. her soulmate.

“it says joe.” she replied, pulling her coat sleeve up to show joe’s name and her finished countdown.

“and mine Y/N.” joe did the same, revealing his countdown and her name. 

it was strange. she didn't think it would happen like this; her soulmate literally fell for her. well, not for her, behind her, but he still feel before he had even met her, and that was something she would remember to bring up later on. 

“hi, joe,” she giggled, placing her hand in front of her for joe to shake. “how are you?”

“i'm good, thank you,” he took her hand and shook it gently, smiling at her. “and how are you?”

“i'm good,” they dropped each other’s hands and placed them into their coat pockets, the chilly breeze too harsh for their bare hands. “i can’t believe we've had to wait this long; 22 years has dragged on.”

“23 for me. well, 23 years and 3 months, but that's not important.”

“so you're a...september baby?”

“yeh, and you're...”

“a february baby, yeh. 25rd.”

“no way,” he smiled, an exasperated smile on his face, “i'm 21st.”

“that's basically the same date.” Y/N giggled again before smiling at joe. 

honestly, she didn’t think he would be like this. charming? yes. funny? definitely. but joe? this joe? he’s better than what she expected. all she knew was that she couldn't wait to get to know him more. 

“sorry, i was staring. and now i sound like a creep because i said i was staring. i'm sorry, i'm just happy this has finally happened.”

“it’s okay,” Y/N smiled and watched as the stress from joe’s face left him and a smile appeared instead. “did you wanna go somewhere? get out of the cold?”

“please,” he nodded, removing his hand from his pocket and allowing her to lead the way. “you first.” after mumbling a quick thanks, Y/N led joe back the way she came, starting up another conversation as they went. 

and as the days went on, the weeks turned into months. winter turned into spring and a friendship turned into a relationship between Y/N and joe. it wasn’t too long after when joe asked her to be his, and it wasn't too long after that when they met each other’s family. the mazzellos fell in love with her - just like joe did - and they accepted her into the family quickly. they teased and taunted joe about being so embarrassed growing up, his worrying truly for nothing. 

after that evening with his family, there was only one thing he was truly sure of: he loved Y/N.

-

TAGLIST: @never-kept-the-same-address @j0hn-deaky @sohoneyspreadyourwings @brian-maybe-not @deakysbabybooty @1001-yellow-daffodils @retromusicsalad @hardcoredisneynerd @painkiller80 @leatherjacketmazzello @scarecrowmax @mebeatlized @seesiderendezvous @alright-mrfahrenheit @someone-get-a-medic @miamideacon @chlobo6 @teenagepeterpan @spacedustmazzello @deakysgurl @forever-rogue @xcdelilahxc @keepsdrawing @igotsuckedintothevoid @soulexposed @supersonicfreddie @laedymoon @inthedayswhenlandswerefew @warriorteam1924 @painandpleasure86 @boomerangbassist​ @mamaskillerqueen​ 

[mikrowrites]

Stargirl { part i }

Poe Dameron x Reader

Summary: Y/N spent her entire life hiding her past, but as the Republic falls and the Resistance makes their final stand, some things can’t stay buried.

Y/N always loved the nighttime. The cool air, the glimmering stars dotting the sky, but most importantly the quiet. The uninterrupted silence as her classmates and masters slept.

She had found herself walking around the training campus as she enjoyed the nighttime, her boots crunching against the pebbles and grass while she pulled her cloak closer around her body. Y/N had been advancing quickly in her training, her eagerness to become a Jedi far outweighed her anxieties.

As she traveled back to her hut she sensed a disturbance, making her stop in her tracks and her eyebrows furrow. Y/N held her hand out, feeling the force move uncertainly and wildly. She set forth and followed it, looking up to see Ben’s hut with a green light emmiting from the windows.

Y/N opened the door, her body going rigid as she gasped. Her master held his lightsaber over a sleeping Ben, poised to strike. Luke turned to Y/N with tears in his eyes before turning back to Ben, whom had sat up in bed.

She reached for Luke’s wrist as Ben grabbed his lightsaber, clashing it against the green saber. Y/N shouted out as the blue light cut into her wrist, the girl attempting to pull Luke off of the boy as Ben brought the hut down.

Dust and rock filled her throat as Y/N screamed, the rubble burying her and carrying away her consciousness.

She awoke to screams, the crackling of fire, and the overwhelming smell of smoke. Y/N sat up, her eyes widening at the sight of the temple ablaze. Her friends, being slaughtered.

And then she turned and saw Luke.

And Luke saw her.

And Y/N cowered in fear of him.

Y/N gasped, her eyes flicking open. She was drenched in a cold sweat, her breathing uneven. A strong arm wrapped itself tighter around her torso, a bare sculpted chest against her back. She felt Poe’s gentle breath against her ear as he rested his chin on her shoulder. “Babe?”

“I’m okay.” Y/N whispered, turning to face Poe with a gentle smile. “Sorry to wake you.”

Poe pulled Y/N into his chest, breathing in the scent of her hair and relishing in the feeling of her body within his arms.

“I love you, flyboy.” Y/N murmured.

Poe smiled. “I love you, stargirl.”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

“Poe, fucking disengage now.” Y/N snarled into the communicator.

“Sorry sweetheart but we’re so close. We can take out a Dreadnaught. We can do it.” Poe shouted back, revving his Starfighter.

Y/N smacked the control panel. “You can’t if you’re dead!”

She heaved through a tight throat, hearing static on the other end. Y/N let out a scoff, turning to Leia.

“Did he just turn me off?”

Later, Poe sauntered into the bridge, a cocky grin on his face. It widened at the sight of his girlfriend, who stood next to Leia. Y/N began to walk toward Poe, the man speeding up to her.

Suddenly Y/N brought her palm across his face, the sound of the slap echoing throughout the bridge. Poe stumbled back, holding his cheek in confusion and slight rage. “Y/N, wha-“

“You’re demoted.” Leia growled.

“What?! We took down a Dreadnaught!” Poe exclaimed incredulously, his eyes flickering between the two women.

“At what cost?” Leia exclaimed.

Poe shook his head. “You start an attack, you follow through.”

“Poe, get your head out of your cockpit.” Y/N spat, shaking her head angrily. “There are things that you cannot solve by jumping in an X-Wing and blowing something up!”

Leia stood between the two, trying to extinguish the tension. “Listen to your girlfriend. We both need you to learn that.” She began to walk away, Poe stopping her.

“There were heroes on that mission.” Poe stated.

“Dead heroes.” Leia retorted. “No leaders.”

She finally walked away, Poe rolling his eyes and turning to Y/N who had turned and was working a command station. He walked over to her, running his hands down her arms. “I’m sorry baby.”

“Are you?” Y/N turned to Poe, a stoic expression on her face. “I really don’t think you are.”

“I’m just trying to do my job.” Poe murmured, turning her to face him. “We’re all trying to do our jobs.”

Y/N sighed, finally giving in and resting her forehead against his chest, Poe running his fingers in soothing circles around her back. “I know. I do, Poe. But every time you do your job you risk your life more than necessary. You’re flamboyant. And one of these days it’s going to get you killed.”

Poe sighed, grasping Y/N’s shoulders and smiling at her. “I’m not dyin’ on you, Stargirl.”

Y/N smiled, the two pulling apart. They turned to look out the viewing shield, his arm around her shoulders. They stared out at the stars until alarms began to blare into the bridge.

Poe and Y/N ran towards Leia, the pilot grasping his helmet. A tech specialist analyzed the screen. “Proximity alert! They found us!”

“That’s impossible.” Poe breathed.

Y/N watched as the First Order fleet reappeared out of light speed, outnumbering the Raddus.

A large ship suddenly appeared. “That’s Snoke’s ship...” Finn said defeatedly.

“You gotta be kidding me.” Poe groaned, turning around. “Can we jump to light speed?”

“We have enough fuel sources for just one jump.” Y/N observed.

Poe looked up at her. “Well, then, do it. We have to get out of here.”

“Wait,” Leia paused. “They’ve tracked us through light speed.”

“That’s impossible.” Finn stated.

Leia nodded. “Yes. And they’ve done it.”

“They’ve got us...” Y/N whispered.

Poe turned to her, squeezing her hand and lifting it up. He pressed a kiss to Y/N’s knuckles. “Not yet, they don’t.” He smiled at Y/N. “Permission to jump into an X-Wing and blow something up?”

Y/N gestured to Leia, who immediately nodded. “Permission granted.”

With a wink Poe ran out of the bridge, BB-8 following. After a split second Y/N shook her head, running after him. She didn’t know what caused her to. Maybe the force was guiding her away from the bridge. They were sprinting down the hall, BB-8 frantically beeping. “Don’t wait for me! Jump in and fire her up!” Poe shouted.

Poe ran into the hangar, Y/N skidding to a stop in the hallway. She closed her eyes, saying a silent prayer for her lover until she felt her whole body freeze. Y/N felt the force humming in her ear. She tried to block it away but it persisted, taking over her senses with a familiar person.

Y/N’s eyes flung open, her lips uttering the name of a man she loathed with all her being: “Ben.”

Suddenly a large explosion was set off into the hanger, Poe stopping in his tracks in front of his X-Wing. Y/N gasped and screamed his name, running forwards as his ship burst into flame.

The explosion sent them both flying, the two falling back into the hallway. Poe slowly sat up, taking in the sight of his beloved ship burning before the emergency doors slid closed. He quickly turned to Y/N, who was pulling her hand up to her forehead. “Y/N? What are you doing here?”

“I-I don’t know, I just followed you here...” she hissed in pain, Poe running his fingers over the gash on her forehead.

“Poe, Y/N, are you alright?” Finn ran over, sliding to his knees.

Poe nodded. “We need to get out of range of those Star Destroyers.” he grunted.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Poe and Y/N sat among the remaining Resistance captains and commanders. Poe interlaced his fingers with hers, Y/N rubbing his arm with her other hand and leaning her head on his shoulder. A bandage was placed on her gash, which had been stitched up prior.

“General Organa... Leia... is unconscious but recovering.” Leia’s second in command informed. “That’s the only good news I have. Admiral Ackbar, all our leadership, they’re gone.” Y/N buried her face in Poe’s shoulder, thinking of her friends whose lives had been taken away. She should have been among them, but she followed Poe...

“Leia was the sole survivor on the bridge, as well as Lieutenant L/N who was in the hangar.” The second in command continued, Poe gripping Y/N’s hand tighter. “If General Organa were here, she’d say save your sorrow for after the fight. To that end... the chain of command is clear as to who should take her place.”

Y/N felt Poe straighten up beside her, but the girl kept her mouth shut because she already knew the new General would be—

“Vice Admiral Holdo.”

Poe deflated in his seat. Y/N continued to rub his arm reassuredly as Holdo began to speak. Y/N strained a smile to cast up at him. “It’s okay, Poe. Leia has a plan.”

Poe shook his head as the meeting was dismissed, members of the Resistance returning to their posts. “That’s Admiral Holdo? Battle of Chyron Belt Admiral Holdo?”

Y/N nodded, standing up with her hand still locked in Poe’s pulling him up. He scoffed. “Not what I expected.”

Poe pulled away from Y/N strutting over to confront Holdo. Y/N turned and left the room, making her way to the sickbay.

The door to Leia’s room slid open, Y/N walking in and sitting next to her mentor. “I felt it for the first time in years. The force. I’ve tried so hard to block it away, but Ben... he was there. I felt him.” Y/N fiddled with her hands. “He’s beyond saving Leia. I hope you realize that. He’s not who he once was, that’s not my childhood friend. That’s a monster. He’s a monster in the disguise of a boy. And we cannot save him.”

Hours later the door opened, Y/N rubbing her red eyes and turning to see Poe in the doorway. “Hey baby.”

Poe smiled, walking over and sitting down next to her, pulling her into his chest. They were silent for a few minutes, holding each other. Y/N rested her ear against Poe chest, finding comfort in his heartbeat. After a bit Poe spoke up.

“You’re always telling me how you’re afraid to lose me. I always thought I got it. Understood. But I didn’t. I pull stunts and tricks in a ship while you work in the safety of a fortified base. But I didn’t understand how you felt every time I went out in a mission. I pretended to.”

Y/N pulled away slightly, looking up at him in confusion only to by sobered by the tears in his eyes. Y/N rested her hands on each side of Poe’s face, her lover leaning in to her touch with a sigh. He kissed her palm before continuing.

“But, I did today. I did. You could’ve died today. You would’ve been safe in the bridge, I thought, but you would’ve died. And that scared me. Because I can’t live without you.” Poe finished.

Y/N leaned her forehead against his, silent tears rolling down her cheeks as she ran her fingers through his dark curls.

Suddenly the door burst open, the two pulling apart to see Finn and an engineer standing in the doorway. Y/N and Poe hastily wiped their faces, turning to the two.

“Uh—sorry if we’re interrupting anything—“

“No, no!” Poe and Y/N unanimously agreed. “What’s going on? What’s happening?”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

“Just give it to me one more time, simpler.” Poe asked.

“So the First Order’s only tracking us from one Destroyer, the lead one.” Finn explained.

“So we blow that one up.” Poe interrupted, Y/N turning and smacking him on the arm. “What?”

Finn shook his head. “I like where your head’s at, but no. They’d only start tracking us from another Destroyer. If we sneak on board the lead Destroyer and disable the tracker without them realizing...”

“They won’t realize it’s off for one system cycle.” The engineer, Rose, finished. “About six minutes.” She enables a hologram of the ship.

“Sneak on board, disable the tracker. Our fleet escapes before they realize.” Finn informed, standing back as he gauged the two’s reaction.

Poe and Y/N exchanged a glance. She stood up and walked towards Leia, Poe turning to them. “How’d you two meet?”

“Just luck.” Rose replied smugly.

“Yeah? Good luck?” Y/N murmured, the three turning towards her.

“Not sure yet.”

Finn stepped forwards. “Poe, Y/N we have to do this. It’ll save the fleet and it’ll save Rey.”

Y/N placed her hand upon Leia’s Poe walking over and reassuringly rubbed his hand on Y/N’s shoulder blade.

“If I must be the sole voice of reason, Admiral Holdo would never agree to this plan.” C-3PO finally spoke up from across the room. He had entered shortly after Rose and Finn.

Y/N smirked ever so slightly, reaching up and squeezing Poe’s hand. “Yeah. You’re right, Threepio.”

Poe sighed, Finn and Rose turning away. Y/N turned towards the group, her face stoic. “It’s a need-to-know plan... and she doesn’t.”

C-3PO began to stutter, Poe winking at Y/N as he walked over to Finn and Rose. “All right, you guys shut down that tracker, we’ll be here to jump us to light speed. The question is, how do we sneak the two of you onto Snoke’s Destroyer?”

The three began to make a plan as Y/N turned to Leia. “Don’t hate me for this. And certainly not Poe either.” Y/N lifted Leia’s hand and kissed it gently. “They can do it. I know they can. You know it too.”

Y/N turned to Poe, exchanging a soft smile.

“I searched the force for it to be true.” She turned back to Leia, her smile faltering.

“And maybe it’s about time he knew the truth too.”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

[from-a-reckless-writer]

Okay so I wrote a thing. Well. Actually I got a writing prompt and thought hey, why not? And SO JUST A HEADS-UP THO, THIS ISN'T SIX RELATED LIKE ALL OF MY OTHER POSTS THIS IS JUST ME WRITING A SHORT STORY AND SEEING HOW IT GOES. SO YEAH. btw, @timetoriseabove thanks for the push.

HERE GOES NOTHING...

Who? Who could I call?

I looked at the time, 2 fucking o’clock in the morning. What a great time to deal with this kind of bullshit. So right, who could I call? I can’t call Dad, because if I call Dad I’m pretty sure that in less than 30 minutes the whole family would know what kind of shit I landed myself in again. No, actually not just my family but our entire family tree including that one cousin I hate. I also can’t call Joel, if I call Joel and then he would tell Dad and again, we can’t let Dad know. Oh I know! I could call Aunt Hazel, after all she’s my favorite aunt for a reason.

We can’t call Aunt Hazel, remember that incident last Sunday, the one where you played your I’m-Your-Favorite-Niece-So-Please-Help-Me Card?

Fuck, right I forgot about that, and yeah Aunt Hazel has done me way too many favors, more than I can count. How about Cathy though? I could call Cathy right? No, no, I can’t call Cathy because Cathy’s got a flight tomorrow and that flight was the sole reason why we went celebrating and what inevitably landed me here. So yes, call Cathy and tell her it’s her fault.

You do know it’s not her fault right? How about you call Ben?

Right, Ben have I mentioned Ben? See, Ben was actually the first choice I had in mind, before remembering that yeah, I never really did choose Ben first. Ben. Ben, who is the perfect person to call right now because Ben wouldn’t call my dad and tell my whole family. Ben, who would know what information he has to write down in the forms because he goddamn knows everything about me. Ben, who wouldn’t mind doing me a hundred favors. Ben, who I haven’t talked to in 2 months. My Ben-“So uhm, did you finally reach your emergency person?” my train of thought was cut down when the nurse cleared her throat and spoke to me, the police officer behind her also waiting for my response. God, who knows how long I’ve been here, surrounded by white tiles, blue curtains and the smell of hospitals that makes you sad. “Uh yeah, yeah I know who to call, he’ll be here in a minute.” The nurse nods and they both leave while I try to process the words I had just said. I don’t know who to call, fuck! I can’t believe this, I’m hiding again, hiding the pain. The shock actually came first before the pain, the pain that slowly seeped in and then the fear, because-God, that is way too much blood.

I take a deep breath, grab my phone and finally dialed a number

_____________________________________________________________________________________

“Hello?” I groggily answer, I didn’t look at the caller I.D because who the fuck calls at, I steal a glance at the clock on my nightstand-at 2 fucking 15 a.m-what the hell?

“Ben-“ one word, just one syllable really and I instantly know who was calling, Grace. Just like that, all traces of my sleepiness was gone. My mind instantly counted how long it has been since I last spoke to her. Two months, five days and-yeah it was probably a bad idea, but this was Grace. Grace! Godsake it only took one second for her to mess up his life again.

“Hi-uh-you there? Uh I’m sorry to call you I know it’s the middle of the night and-“ she mumbles, “Grace what is it?” I cut her off. “I uhm-I’m in the hospital.” I freeze “What? What hospital?” I’m fully awake now, immediately dressing up and instantly grabbing my green jacket in a hurry. I quickly get my keys, lock the door and by the time Grace has told me the full directions to the hospital, I was already starting up my car.

Just like that, just one word from Grace and all my attention is back on her. Everything is revolving around her again.

What do you mean again? “Again” is a word that implies you stopped. But you never really did stop did you?

“Hey, I’m really really sorry to bother you, promise it won’t take long. I just need someone to assist with the med forms and you can go quickly-“ Grace said through the phone, she was rambling, apologizing but there was something different in her voice. Hesitation maybe? “I promise it’s going to be quick and you don’t have to worry at all.”

I don’t know who you’re trying to convince, me or you.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

“Hello,” he answered groggily. God Ben, do you always have to answer this quick? You didn’t even give me time to breathe.

It only took a couple of words from me and suddenly I can hear rustling from the other end. I can picture him, immediately grabbing his green jacket. His green jacket that I’ve worn way too many times, hung inside his room, his room that I’ve also been to, way too many times.

I hear the jangle of his keys and just like that my heart is beating even faster now. What will I say to him? I am so not ready for this. Hey thanks for saving my ass yet again? Thanks for doing this even if you shouldn’t really be doing this?

“Hey Grace you still there?” he asked, “Yeah, yeah I’m still here.”

He asked, and I can hear the fear in his voice. You know Ben, I can feel it too the fear, and I keep fearing that my answer to your question will always be “I’m here.”

_____________________________________________________________________________________

When I got out of the car, I went straight to the Emergency Room. There was a nurse near your bed and a police officer and the driver of the car that hit you. He looked young, like really young. He looked like he would shit his pants if I told his Dad that his car hit somebody.

When the officer saw me then the nurse and then you. They started to talking to me and handed me papers but it was hard to take my eyes off of you. There was a bandage wrapped around your entire left leg. A few bruises on your arm and a small cut under your eye. You looked bad. So bad that I now realize why you called me first. Yeah, because I know that you don’t want your family to know. I know so many things about you, but right now I don’t know what to say to you.

Because what the fuck do you say in a situation like this?

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Step.

Dizzy.

Step.

Head-spinning.

Step-

Flashing lights-

Whoosh! BANG!

Oh, shit.

Pain-

Pain-

Black.

“Here, coffee.” You gave me the cup, it tasted bland. Oh god, don’t even try to complain that it doesn’t taste like coffee. I know that you got the coffee from the vending machine down the hall. I don’t know what to say, because what to say in a situation like this? You can’t joke lightly, you can’t hug him, you can’t touch him. I can’t do anything right.

“Thank you-“ I started, “Pfft-it’s just coffee you don’t have to thank me.” you answer, you’re wearing the green jacket.

“No-I mean for coming and helping me and everything.” The coffee was hot that was why my hands were sweating. The coffee, not because he’s near me again and not because he’s running his fingers through his hair. It is also not because of the fact that you’re trying to avoid my eyes.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

There are 120 tiles inside this room.

Yeah because counting tiles is more interesting than her? Very convincing Ben.

“Why were you out so late? Why didn’t you just sleep at Cath’s?”

“Peter was there, it was their last night before Cath flies out tomorrow. I wanted them to-“

“Yeah, of course that’s it. Of course you want them to have that moment.” You sigh and shake your head.

“ You never drink.”

“What? Am I not allowed to drink all of a sudden?”

“You’re not allowed, if it’s just going to land you in situations like this! And I end up the one to pick it all over again, clean the mess!”

Whoa, and I thought breaking my left leg was painful enough, I guess it’s not. I stay quiet at your little outburst, I can hear you breathing heavily, I can hear you breaking.

“Then you shouldn’t have come.” I finally say.

“Then you shouldn’t have answered the phone in the first place.” I finish.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

“I can’t.” I answer her.

I can’t because if I don’t come then, Grace that means it’s over.

“You didn’t really mean it like that, do you?”

“Mean what?” I ask playing innocent.

“It’s a quarter past 3.” There you go again, changing the subject, running, hiding. That’s what you like, that’s what you were good at. Asking me vague questions and giving me vague answers. Well, now it’s my turn to give you vague answers, it’s my turn to ask you vague questions.

“Grace what’s gonna be the ending?” I ask.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

“The sun will rise.”

I answer, I never really liked giving straightforward answers. I prefer the safety of mysteries and vagueness. But of course you already know that. You know everything. That’s why you asked me that question.

So, how will this end? I never liked these kind of situations, because they require the truth.

I never did like truths. But I guess a part of me doesn’t want to answer because maybe, I don’t want it to end. Not yet anyway. What I said was true though, the sun will rise and a new dawn will break. I wonder where will we find ourselves then?

SO YEAH IF U REACHED THIS PART THANK YOU FOR READING. LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS, OR IF I SHOULD STOP, IF U WANT TO GIVE ME A PROMPT. I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU GUYS.

Love from a reckless writer. 😘

[ponykidcurtis]

KLAUS PROMPTS!! if you don't like this I can try again, but what about Klaus is sick and trying to hide severe pain of some sort (you can decide!) in front of his family and someone (possibly Five?) eventually sees through it :O

This took me a billion years longer than I expected, and it’s not the best thing ever, but I did it so I hope you enjoy it

Klaus felt like shit, plain and simple. He’d had a migraine building all morning, and it seemed to have reached its peak. His head was pounding, and his body couldn’t seem to decide if it was hot or cold; he alternated between shivering under as many blankets as possible, or throwing them all off trying to get away from the heat. It felt like he was sweating and freezing all at once, and every movement made his head ache more than before. The ghosts were louder too, now that he was sober, which didn’t help matters much.

“Just tell someone you’re sick, Klaus,” Ben said from where he’d been sitting cross-legged on the floor. Klaus groaned and shuffled deeper into the covers he had piled around him.

“…Jus’ need to sleep,” He muttered, but he flinched as a ghost let out a shriek next to the bed, and Ben sighed.

“I don’t think that’s going to–” Ben jumped and cut himself off at the sound of Luther calling from downstairs. Klaus winced.

“Family meeting, five minutes!” Luther bellowed again. Klaus shifted slowly, maneuvering himself out from under his nest of blankets. Ben tried to protest, but it’s not like he could physically push Klaus back into bed, so his brother waved him off and kept going. He pressed his palm to his forehead as he sat up, letting his naturally-cold fingers give him a brief release from the pain.

“Klaus, come on,” Ben protested again as Klaus made to stand up. “Luther would let you sit this one out if you just tell him what’s wrong.” Klaus hummed, not wanting to shake his head and make it all worse.

“No, he’d just think ’m high. Alison too.” Diego might have believed him, and Ben knew it too, but Klaus didn’t give him enough time to voice that before pushing himself up and making his way out into the hallway. Besides, Diego didn’t have the time to bother with him when he was busy saving the world, and Klaus could take care of himself anyway. He was feeling all kinds of terrible–weak and shaky, dry mouth, nausea threatening to crawl up his throat–but it was fine. He’d felt worse. He could handle it.

That is, he could, until he shuffled by the bathroom doorway a little too fast, tripped over the carpet, and stumbled enough to bash his shoulder into the doorframe. He caught himself before he could fall completely, but the movement sent shooting pain through his head and he was suddenly glad that he’d managed to bump into the bathroom door rather than a bedroom, because he was about to lose the loose hold he’d had on his queasy stomach.

Klaus had barely a second to get to his knees in front of the toilet before he was retching up the meager breakfast he’d had that morning, and god, he took back what he’d said before, this was the worst. He didn’t want to handle it. He wanted someone else to handle it, preferably someone other than Ben who could actually touch things. Between heaves, he contemplated taking Ben’s advice for once, and actually telling Luther he wasn’t feeling too hot, but the large man in question was at the door before he could finish the thought.

“Klaus! I called a family meeting, get your ass out of bed before I– oh,” Luther passed the doorway and then backtracked, trailing off in his rant when he spotted Klaus dry heaving into the toilet bowl. Klaus caught Ben glaring at him out of the corner of his eye, silently urging him to say something. He didn’t.

“Um,” Luther looked a little put out, like he wasn’t sure what to say in this situation. Klaus retched again, and Luther’s mouth curled in disgust. “Is this withdrawal again?”

“Didn’t take anything,” Klaus groaned, looking uncharacteristically miserable. He wished he could turn the lights off.

“Right,” Luther said, “Just… come downstairs as soon as you’re done, I guess.” He left more quickly than he’d come, leaving Klaus alone to listen to Ben’s angry rambling.

“You’ve been sober for ten months!” Ben was saying, rather loudly, but lowered his voice as soon as he caught Klaus grimacing.

“Not to them,” Klaus sighed, resting his aching forehead against the cool porcelain of the toilet bowl. It seemed like he was in the clear, for now, as long as he avoided any sudden movements. “Only been sober for two days, technically. Time travel’s a bitch.”

“He didn’t even ask if you were okay,” Ben said, more softly this time. Klaus waved him off with one manicured hand.

“I’m fine, Benny boy.” He stood on shaky legs and steadied himself against the wall, waiting for the pounding of his head to calm before he started his walk to the living room. He flushed the toilet twice. “Let’s head down, shall we? Can’t start a party without me, of course.”

He managed to make it to the living room in one piece–even if he’d love to have his head knocked off, because he was sure that would hurt less than it did now–and lowered himself gracelessly onto the couch. Everyone else was already there.

“Great, now that you’re done getting high, we can finally get started,” Luther said.

“You’re high?” Diego exclaimed, turning to stare at him.  “You said you were done with that shit, man.”

“Didn’t take anything,” Klaus repeated, draping himself over the cushions and closing his eyes. He didn’t have to look to know his siblings were all glaring at him with varying degrees of disappointment. He shook off his own disappointment at their disbelief with a fairly accurate impersonation of dear-old-daddy, if he did say so himself; “You may begin, Number One!”

Alison groaned, Luther sighed, and Klaus was pretty sure Diego rolled his eyes. That seemed likely. He didn’t hear anything from Five.

He tuned out the rest of the conversation, for the most part, throwing an arm over his eyes to block out the living room lights. The migraine had admittedly been getting better, after the bathroom incident, but it was back to pounding now. His head felt like it would split open and the lights were too bright and Luther was yelling at Diego, Alison interjecting, which really wasn’t helping and oh, god, Klaus hoped he wasn’t about to throw up again–

“–Christ, Klaus, are you even listening?” Diego’s voice cut through Klaus’ addled thoughts, and he covered up his flinch by sitting up quickly.

“Uh–yup, yes, definitely listening, what did you say again?” Klaus was having a hard time focusing his eyes on Diego, and he was pretty sure he was sweating now, but all he felt was shaky and cold. He really wanted to go back to bed, turn all the lights off, and hope the ghosts would shut up long enough for him to sleep this off.

“Klaus…” Alison started, like she wanted to tell him off but didn’t know how. She trailed off instead.

“You need to start taking this seriously,” Luther said, and there he went sounding like their dad again. He’d stopped yelling after Diego had started talking, but the low tone of his voice still felt like too much. “You can’t be high all the time; if we’re going to stop the apocalypse we have to do it together, as a family. We don’t have time for games.”

Klaus didn’t even want to respond to that. At this point, even Ben had given up trying to convince him to tell his siblings what was going on. He was off in a corner, reading the book he always had, like he’d finally realized Klaus was right; they’d never listen to him, sober or not.

“He’s not,” Five spoke up from the bar. Klaus glanced up at him, surprised, and badly covered up a grimace when his head swam. He hadn’t considered his youngest–oldest?–brother in his excuses to Ben, and he thought now that he probably should have. Five was looking at him with that annoyingly calculating gaze he always adopted when he was trying to solve a problem. Klaus didn’t exactly like the implications of that, but he was glad someone was actually listening to him, so he’d take it.

“Thank you, at least one of you believes your poor, dear brother,” he tried, but it fell flat. He wasn’t even feeling up to dramatics by now, and he was pretty sure that if he moved any more than he already had, he’d throw up again.

“He’s not high,” Five said again, more firmly, to the siblings. “You’ve all seen what he’s like when he’s high. This isn’t it. He’s quiet, he hasn’t made an annoying comment since he came in here, and he didn’t even complain when you yelled at him.” He turned to Klaus and asked, “Are you sick?”

“Yeah,” Klaus answered tiredly, rubbing at his eyes again quickly, “Migraine.”

“You’re sick?” Diego echoed, an oddly comical parody of his earlier question.

“I caught him throwing up earlier, but I thought it was just withdrawal again.” Luther’s face was a strange mix of sheepish and confused, sinking further into sheepish when Alison rounded on him.

“You knew he was sick, and you still made him come down here?” She challenged.

“Well, I–”

“The apocalypse isn’t going to be stopped by you pushing people past their limits, Luther! You’re not dad!”

As the rest of them devolved into shouting again, Klaus dropped back against the cushions behind him and let out a heavy breath. He wasn’t sure if he could just leave, yet, but all the noise was jarring and he really wanted to just take a nap. He glanced up, tired eyes meeting Five’s across the room.

Five rolled his eyes skyward and pushed past the arguing siblings to get to Klaus, taking hold of his arm and jumping them away from the living room in a flash of blue light. They landed in Klaus’s room, where Klaus was promptly deposited on his bed. The jump and the light had been disorienting, for him and for Ben–even as a ghost, he was clutching his book and looking a little disgruntled–and by the time he’d blinked back the spots in his vision it was clear that Five had jumped to and from the bathroom too; he popped back into the room and dropped a couple of painkillers into Klaus’s hand, along with a glass of water. Klaus stared at the tablets for a moment, confused by the small amount of care his usually stoic brother was showing him. Five sent him a pointed look, mirrored unknowingly by Ben across the room, and that was enough for Klaus to grin weakly and down the pills and water in one go.

“Thanks, little bro,” Klaus teased, and Five scowled.

“Go to sleep,” was all Five said in response, but he opted for actually walking out of the room when he left, so he could flick off the light and shut the door. The lack of spatial jumping was telling enough. Klaus chuckled quietly, shared a look with Ben, and rolled over to finally get some sleep.