#and then rebuilt me to be a better person somehow

[tooturtly]

Still on my locked tomb and feudalism bullshit, so here’s a discussion of John, and how I think he systematically uses the decentralized nature of the Nine Houses to avoid the realities of being God.

Essentially, what it says on the tin, but first, context. (Can you tell I’m somehow more unhinged now?). Feudalism is a political structure with a fair amount of decentralization of power. It usually came about in the past after a larger government/political system collapsed, such as Rome. Essentially, a King/Emperor cannot feasibly run large amounts of territory, with the citizens of those territories being from diverse backgrounds and customs, without a lot of loyal subordinates helping out. Enter the nobility.

The nobility do the work of running the lands so that the King/Emperor doesn’t have to maintain a large bureaucracy to, let’s say, collect taxes from each individual person, hold a census, or run a court of law. This does not mean the ruler gets to fuck off, they do have responsibilities to the realm, their court, their knights, and the nobles who support them. Some people have to like you to remain in power, otherwise you get assassinated.

So what does all this have to do with John? Well, first, I think it’s safe to say from what we’ve seen that the Nine Houses are very similar to a feudalist system. You have a collection of independent, semiautonomous populations that can generally keep themselves together. They have slightly different takes on religion, loyalty to the empire, and necromancy, but they are all unified under it.

Second, I think we can also say that John has a very specific perception of himself that does not always align with the reality. He wears worn, casual clothes that are not the type of thing anyone else wears, but includes a crown of infant bones. He has a casual, relaxed attitude, but also can pull out a speech about avenging death and fighting for the empire seemingly off the top of his head. He doesn’t want Harrow to treat him like God, yet also constantly quotes works from a world nobody but he can remember. His narration of his actions in Nona paint him as seeing what he did as something anyone would do, as not that bad, as the act of a desperate, passionate man. Yet he also rebuilt the world to make himself God and Emperor above everyone else, the head of a ten thousand year long grudge campaign.

The contradiction is inherent in his title, man who became god, and god who is man. Harrow especially points out moments where he seems mortal, human, calling attention to how he otherwise appears completely separate and divine.

John is a complicated character. People smarter than me have written more with better evidence laid out. What I’m trying to get at though is that, to me, John reads as a man who cannot view himself as having vast amounts of power over others on the regular. To a certain extent he has to view himself as ‘just a little guy’ so he doesn’t have to reconcile with the actions that have caused massive amounts of harm. He wants the Lyctors to be his friends and associates, rather than their boss.

The structure of the Nine Houses helps with that. He doesn’t have to regularly speak to the average citizen, or deal with the daily problems of the people and their Houses, or hell, even the people he’s conquered. Mercymorn says something in Harrow about how the Emperor’s seat is the Mithraeum, the place light years away from the people he is supposed to allegedly rule. The place only realistically accessible by traveling through the River, a feat only possibly by Lyctors (for the most part). And we learn that he’s only been away from that for 80 years, and he assumedly spent most of his previous ten thousand years there.

Because he is at the top of the power structure, he can lose himself in the bigger picture and forget about the reality, which is the fact that he is running a colonial Empire that requires the biological death of planets and people to survive.

[hehe-69]

Dude idk what it is but this photo awakens something within me

Bonfire Part 14

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13

Warnings: TOOTH ROTTING FLUFF, HEALING, FOUND FAMILY, TRAUMA BONDING, WOLFPACK, SOFT JACOB, CRYING, MOVING PAST TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCES, BELLA SWAN IS A SWEETHEART, SUGGESTIVE MATERIAL, EMBRY X QUIL MOMENTS, ANGST, HURT/COMFORT

Summary: This is a time for healing, and love. IF YOU THINK THAT SAPPY GIVE ME A BREAK-Ahem-After bonds were formed and others were pushed near thier breaking point. Time is a wound that heals only the healing. And that’s what happens in this part. Found Family was lost and so it must be rebuilt. But sometimes, things must be broken before they can heal stronger.

I lied, this is also super sad…but it’s okay because they are happy at the end and I shall reward you with a glimpse of service top Jacob(he’s definitely a bottom and service top at best)

Also so sorry if this sucks

Tage list: @coldonez (I hope you cry cus I did)

You and Jacob spend a lot of time just trying to process all you’ve been though together. It’s hard, really hard, the both of you suffer night terrors about Bella’s ‘death’. And neither of you full know how to help one another, so you do the best you can by just being there, comforting one another and supporting each other in any way you can. Jacob manages to keep his own trauma to just night terrors and the occasional eye contact avoidance, only you and Billy know how deep his really goes.

You once again find yourself incapable of looking people in the eyes without seeing Bella’s dead brown eyes staring back at you. Its horrific, it’s like waking up form a nightmare and realizing your living through one. You can never seem to catch a break. Jacob, more often than not, sneaks into your room through your window to comfort you and sleep by your side. It’s for the both of your benefits.

When Jacob can’t make it, your mother or Quill have to wake you up. Quil isn’t sure how to handle it, he has so much guilt inside of him for staying with the pack instead of choosing to be there for you and Embry. Jacob was Quill’s best friend too, and Quill feels like he’s betrayed you all and himself with his decisions. Him and Embry have been working though their own problems.

He tries his best, he sits with you but you don’t speak to him. You’re so angry at him, he chose the pack over you, over Embry. You never thought he was capable of that kind of betrayal. The second you go back to sleep, it happens all over again. Most nights you don’t sleep at all, you try to find other things to focus on. School work, books, movies, anything to keep you from falling back asleep. Eventually, you pack your things and stay at Jacob’s house.

You can barely focus in class, but somehow your lowest grades are Bs and Cs. When you’re not at school, you’re at the Cullen’s house helping take care of Rabushka Renesmee, or Nessi as Jacob calls her. The both of you struggle with really looking at her eyes.

———

Nessi is growing at a rapid and worrisome pace. It’s only been about three days and she has a full set of teeth. You and Jacob went home early, today was the day Bella is supposed to wake. So the two of you take some time to mentally compose yourselves, before returning to see her again.

“Just remember what we talked about.” Carlisle offers you and Jacob a comforting smile. He’s been sitting and talking with the both of you, on ways you can try to move forward. Jacob often tried to say he was more worried about you, considering you’ve never fully recovered from your father’s passing.

But he is reminded that trauma is trauma, there is no such thing as worse or better. And you should never undermined your own feelings just because you think someone has it ‘worse than you’. There is no rhyme or reason to these things, something that ruins one person may barely effect another.

When you and Jacob do finally see Bella. She looks like old self, but also different, less human, more comfortable in her own skin. She looks as if she was born for this undead life. Bella stands up quickly when she sees you two. She’s in a blue dress, one that was undoubtedly chosen by Alice. You take a moment, to really look at her. She looks healthy, but also paler than before, at least there is no longer a grayish tint to the color of her skin.

Even though you know her eyes are different from before, you avoid them. Looking at her nose or forehead instead as you examine her face. She doesn’t speak, instead she speeds over, stopping inches away from you before pulling you in slowly and gently into an ice cold embrace. She’s practically hovering her arms around you, probably horrified she’ll pop you like a weasel. But you more than make up for it as you hold her tightly and burrow your face into her hair.

You and Bella Swan never used to hug, this is something new, but exactly what the both of you needed most. “I’m so sorry.” She whispers out, low and mournful. She knows what her ‘death’ has done to you both. She pulls away from you and hugs Jacob next, it’s a lot quicker as she pulls away almost instantly. “I can see what everyone’s been talking about.” Bella says, her nose is scrunched up like she’s smelt something bad.

“Jacob you really do stink.” Bella laughs out and smiles. You never thought you’d see that again, never thought you’d hear the sound of her laughter again. And you can’t help but laugh out wetly with her and Jacob chuckles too, you can see how many emotions are stirring up within him through his eyes.

“For what it’s worth, you absolutely reek now too.” Jacob teases and Bella playful punches his shoulder as she laughs. But he hisses and holds where she punched him, and immediately Bella looks guilty. “Shit, sorry I’m still not used to the whole…newborn vampire…thing.” There she is, shy Bells. Vampire or no, she’s still just as awkward and sweet as before. It warms your heart, and mends your soul. You three talk, for hours, it’s like how it was before all of this supernatural stuff happened.

Bella has changed, maybe it what she went through that’s changed her, or the vampirism. But she has a deeper appreciation for you and Jacob. You can tell by how intensely she listens and watch’s you both. Like she’s trying to memorize this moment, documenting it into her memory so that she can cherish it for the years to come. When it’s time for you and Jacob to go back to Billy’s house, Bella is hesitant to let you both go.

“I um, I wanted to thank you…the both of you.” Bella begins, she’s awkward and nervous, playing with her fingers and smoothing her hair down. “You both have done more for me than anyone in my life ever has. And I’ve never once told you how grateful and proud I am to have you two in my life.” Bella looks like she could cry as she speaks. “I’m never going to forget either of you.” That means a lot coming from her, she’s making is as clear as she possibly can, even if thousands of years pass by and your bones are rotten and decayed, Bella Swan will never forget her closest childhood friends.

———

It’s not easy rebuilding what’s been broken or finding what has been lost. After some time, you and Jacob decided that the both of you are ready to forgive and reclaim your found family.

Though Leah is not so much on board, Seth is overjoyed, and Embry is unsure but ready to move forward.

———

“This is stupid.” Leah hisses out from the backseat of Jacob’s truck. You all had to basically drag her out of her own house and stuff her in the vehicle. “If anything they should be the ones coming to us.”

“They did come to us Leah! I told you Sam come and apologized and asked us all to come to Emily’s for dinner.” Jacob rolls his eyes and hisses out his words. “I don’t buy it, he’s going to make us feel like we chose the wrong side!” Leah sits back and crosses her arms as she speaks, looking out the window pass her brother beside her. “Leah, it’s going to be okay. We’ll all talk it out.” Seth attempted to calm his sister and her face only hardens at his words. “When this goes south I won’t hesitate to say I told you so.”

———

Safe to say, the car ride to Emily’s house is more than just a little bit tense. Eventually you just tone it all out, staring off into space and lost in thoughts.

Till you feel something warm touch the top of your knee, you’re still out of it, but that touch…that divine hand, it slowly brings you back down to earth. It’s gentle, and loving, impossibly beautifully crafted and molded into this lifeline you cling to so desperately. It’s moves up to your thigh, thumb rubbing soothingly against your jeans. And you breath in deep, to quite the loud and all consuming buzz of your ever restless mind.

You look to Jacob, whose eyes are on the road ahead. And think to yourself, that you could probably do anything as long as you have him by your side. The way he grounds you, sees you, he actually sees you and knows what you need most. He turns his head and looks at you, gracing you with that bright and beautiful smile of his. He eyes light up as he looks at you, like he’s got the whole world right infront of him. And he looks away, still smiling as he continues to drive safely. But his hand doesn’t move, infact he gives your thigh a playful squeeze that makes you feel something raw.

You’re suddenly all to aware of how deeply you crave Jacob Black. Your mind is blown away, and you stare at him, as he gets horifficly smug.

———

Sam is waiting for you all on the porch. “Oh fuck me!” Leah growls out upon the sight of him. “I hate my fucking life and this stupid ass fucking idea. This is some fucking bullshit-“Oh my God Leah we get it could you please just shut the fuck up and get out of the truck so we can get this shit over with!” Embry snaps, and everyone is dead silent. He’s been quite the whole ride.

“Welll…everybody out.” Jacob says awkwardly as he opens up his driver’s side door. “This is going to be so much fun.” You mumble sarcastically to yourself before unbuckling your seat belt. “Tell me about it.” Embry replies before hopping out.

Before you can even touch the handle, Jacob is opening the truck door for you. “The second you start to feel off or want to leave. Let me know and we’re out of here.” Jacob says, looking at you sternly in the eyes, before his expression softens and he lifts a hand to caress your cheek. “I’m serious, we don’t owe them shit.” Jacob whispers softly before kissing you, deep and slow. It’s a shorter kiss then you’d like, but the look in his eyes as he pulls away from you…that look more then makes up for it.

“Come on pip squeak.” Jacob says playfully, grabbing your hand and gently dragging you out of the truck. Jacob has a way of making everything so much lighter, happier, he brings you joy whenever you need it most. He’s bright and warm just the sun, he’s also the centerpiece of your universe. The gravitational force that holds all the planets and stars together in your galaxy. He’s the glue, that holds together all the broken and shattered pieces of your soul. Pieces he finds and uncovers to mend your wounds and fill the holes in your heart.

———

Sam greets you all, warm and welcoming, like a father who is gathering his children for a family dinner. He’s eyes catch on you and Jacob, as he notices who tired you both look, how your frames are lighter like neither of you have full regained your appetites. He looks guilty as he pats your shoulder. “We all have much to discuss…let us know if you ever need anything. Both of you.” Sam is more than painfully aware what his actions have wrought, and he knows how hard it was for all involved to turn against one another. And he’s the one who gave the order. “And for what it’s worth, I’m truly sorry.”

You smile softly at Sam, not meeting his eye in a way that makes him feel more guilt. “You were doing what you thought was right.” Is all you managed to say, before looking down and walking into the house. Jacob stares Sam down as he walks in, shoulder bumping him as he passes the older man.

———

It’s tense, but theres something in the air…almost like relief, relief to have everyone under the same roof once more, relief through the dread that thickens the air. Paul seems to breath easier, happy to know everyone came to talk this all out. No one is proud of the mess they’ve made. No one can be proud of thier decisions, not when they see the physical toll it’s had on each and every single person in this household. The same household thay was filled with laughter and joy just weeks ago.

Emily has a sour look on her face, one that deepens as she looks at Sam who walks up to her in the kitchen. “You better fix this…I’m serious Sam. Look at them all, they’ve been suffering because of your orders!” She’s furious, the kind of pure and unrelenting anger only a mother has when her children are in pain. “I know. I’ll fix it, but theres going to have to be some more breaking. They all need to talk it out.” Emily sighs deeply at her love. Sam is right, she just wishes that there was another way. “I’ll cook slowly, I want them all to be a family at the dinner table-“it’s okay.” Sam interrupts Emily as she begins to sob, he voice was cracking and shaking as she spoke, and the word family is what breaks her. He pulls her in close and holds her as she cries. “We’ll all get through this. Everything is going to be okay.” Sam doesn’t know if he says the words just to comfort his wife or if he says them to comfort them both.

———

It’s starts with you and Quil, he takes you outside to talk. And you refuse to speak to him. Jacob is trying to convince you to talk with him and Embry attempts to explain why you’re so upset to his heard headed boyfriend.

“You have to understand Y/N, I didn’t know that the baby wasn’t a real threat. I was just following orders.” You still don’t speak, you don’t so much as look at him. There is so much hurt and anger boiling up inside of your body. “Y/N these are my brothers-“Well you were my brother too!” You yell out, and a sob rips through your soul. You and Quill shared a roof, a life, and he chose his ‘brothers’ over you and Embry. It’s selfish to think so, but damn it all you deserve to be selfish for once. All the shit you’ve gone through, the loss, the pain, the grief, it all comes crashing down. You feel so small and insignificant, like a blip in the timeline of everyone else’s story. You never get chosen first, you’re not even so much as a second thought.

“You are the closest things I’ve ever had to one! You let me believe that you’d be there for me! That you’d support me! You chose this Quil! You could’ve left with Embry but you didn’t!” You fighting to get every word out, crying and now looking at his shame filled face. “I love you, you’re my brother Quil. But you have made it painfully clear that you don’t feel the same.”

“Y/N, you know that’s not true-“You’re just pissed off that you’re always in second place! We both know the only reason you were on Bella’s side is because deep down you know she’ll always be first in Jacob’s eyes.” This is how Quil gets, he gets like his dad when he’s angry. Saying things that aren’t entirely true just because it’s what hurts the most. Jacob is horrified by the thought, this is an old wound that you’ve kept hidden from him.

“Quill that the actual fuck!” Embry hisses at the boy, Embry cannot believe he’d go the far.

You feel sick, you stare at him. And you don’t even recognize the boy infront of you. You can see how the realization of what he’s done dawns on him as Embry speaks to him. “Fuck-I didn’t mean-“Fuck you Quil!” You hiss out. “Fuck you and your fucking daddy issues! And your stupid fucking need to make everything feel as worthless as you do!” You turn away from him then, storming off and sobbing. Quil knew what hurt and haunted you most, feeling like never being enough was the biggest fear of all.

Jacob fallows after you, trying to get you to stop walking away and speak with him. He stops you by holding close to his chest as you’re heaving out sobs and clutching your own. As if you wished to reach in and rip out your own heart so you don’t have to feel everything so damn much. Jacob hold you and whispers words of comfort and encouragement. He doesn’t dare to let you go, he lowers you both to the ground as he holds you I his lap.

He’s own tears begin to join yours. How could he be so blinded to his pain, how could he not have noticed how little you thought of yourself. Jacob was so focused on the fact that you and him were finally together. That he neglected all the times he’s made you feel like you meant nothing to him. Jacob will never forgive himself for that, you are everything to him, you’re the only thing in this life that makes sense. You make him want to be a better person, he’s constantly working and improving himself. He wants to be deserving of your devotion and attention. Be been so wrapped up in he’s own feelings of unworthiness, that he neglected your own.

“There is nothing…” Jacob pauses, trying to calm his hoarse voice. “There is nothing past or present that I’d put in-front of you…I love you so much, more then I’ve ever loved anything.” Jacob sobs with you, borrowing his head into the back of your neck. “I’m so sorry, I’m so very sorry I even made you think differently.”

You and Jacob sit there, crying and soothing one another with each other’s very presence. And once your tears have run dry, and your cries have ceased. Jacob speaks up, and asks you if you want to try and talk with Quill once more. And you tell him you want to try and fix this.

———

“Embry I-I don’t know what to do.” Quill says desperately. “I should’ve never said that-“Quil, calm down. It’s okay, it’ll be okay.” Embry has been spending all this time trying to clam Quil down. It’s worse than his full on gay crisis. “I can’t calm down! Y/N has been alone for so long and had nothing! Nobody to talk to but Jacob! And what I said…I sounded just like my fucking parents!” Quill breaks down after that.

You were standing up for yourself, finally standing up and he shut you down the same way his parents did to him. Quil has always felt miserable and worthless, his parents not helping on that front. He only ever felt whole, he only ever liked himself when he was with Embry. And then he had you, you listened to him, supported him, offered him a home he never had. He betrayed you and his own imprint, but most of all, he betrayed himself.

“I’m so sorry Embry.” Quill sobs out and immediately Embry is holding him. “Quil we talked about this, I forgive you.” Embry knows what it’s like to be under Sam’s authority, his word is law. Embry has abandoned and neglected Quil for months before in the past. Sure it hurt him that Quill didn’t follow him when Embry decided to leave, but what was a couple of days in comparison to months alone and isolated.

———

You and Quil forgive one another, theres a lot of crying and hugging. Repetition of apologies, but you both calm down. And as you and Jacob head back into the house.

Embry steals his boyfriend and hugs him close. Quil doesn’t deny him, or brush him off like he has in the pass. Quill decides that, for once and for all, he’s not going to pretend like he’s not sick of acting tough. Or acting manly, Quil is madly in love. And he’s tired of pretending he’s not.

So he pulls back just enough to kiss the taller boy in-front of him. Quill wraps his arms around Embry’s neck and lets him hold onto his hips. Quil doesn’t even try to hold back the sigh that escapes his lips as Embry slips his hand under Quil’s shirt or when Embry’s blunt nails scrap gently against Quil’s scalp.

It’s then that Quil realizes how bad he really has it for his boyfriend.

———

When you walk into the house, everyone knows about the fight. Seth looks like a wounded puppy, and gets up to hug you, and then he hugs Jacob, who doesn’t even bother pretending like he doesn’t need it. Paul gives you an awkward side hug, and pats Jacob on the shoulder.

“I’ll fuck him up if you want.” Paul says nonchalantly, but you can tell he’s messing around, trying to cheer you up. And you laugh, it’s small and tired but genuine. “It’s okay Paul, we worked it out.” You say softly, you know for a fact you look all puffy and sad, so you try your best to smile. Jared basically jumps up to hug you. “I missed you stinky.” He says, and from the sound of his voice, it’s like he’s about to cry.

“Oddly enough I missed you too muffin.” You say and hug him close. “Okay, I think that’s enough fluffy shit for today.” Paul says, as he practically rips Jared off of you. While you were talking with Quil. Paul, Jared, Seth and Leah were all having their own heart to heart. Paul will never admit it but he’s been miserable and beating himself up for not holding everything and everyone together.

“Yeah no kidding, I didn’t realize you all were so soft and sweet.” Leah teases and Paul glares at her. “You’re one to talk, you were just as miserable as the rest of us Leah.” Paul shouts back as he crosses his arms. Leah sits up and frowns. “Was not!”

“Jacob.” Sam speaks over the bickering that breaks out between Leah and Paul, everyone goes dead silent. “I don’t have anything to say to you.” Jacob hisses out, and you put your hand on his chest. He’s got a lot he needs to work out with Sam.

“Well I’ve got a lot to say to you. So we can either air it all out in-front of everyone. Or we can talk outside on the porch.” Sam gives Jacob a look that conveys how dedicated he is to having this talk. “Fine.” Jacob hisses out and doesn’t even wait for Sam before heading outside.

———

Unfortunately you don’t get to eavesdrop much. But thankfully Jared is nosy enough to do that for you. According to him, Sam respects and thinks highly of Jacob for fighting for what he thought was right. Sam isn’t proud of what his actions and decisions have coast those in his pack, or those that were forced to leave for what they believed was right.

Jacob tells Sam that he never wanted to lead, and the whole situation just proved how ill fitted Jacob was for the position. Jacob can’t imagine how hard it must be to have all the responsibility weighing him down. But Jacob hates who far Sam went, he hates what it’s coast them all. Hates that it’s brought the group to where they are now.

Eventually Jared stops listing in after Sam snaps at him. You a little impressed with Jared’s use of fancy words.

———

Jacob and Sam were outside for a long long time. Emily had dinner ready and on the table by the time they both returned. Both of these men looked like they cried, but no one dares to say so much as a peep about it.

You all sit and have dinner together once more. You’re all tired and raw, but happy. Ready to tease and steal food from one another. Ready to be a family again. Quil unashamedly leans into Embry throughout the night. And Jacob keeps some part of him touching you, he’s leaning into you for comfort, just as much as you lean on him.

It’s been a long and hard day, but it was worth it. To be able to have this family and conversation together. Healing, happy, and healthy.

———

SUGGESTIVE MATERIAL UP AHEAD

You are responsible for your own media consumption

After dropping off Leah, Seth, Embry and Quil who are up to no good tonight considering they have your house to themselves. Jacob drives you back to his own home and convinces you to stay the night once more.

After getting ready for bed, you pull Jacob into a kiss. He just looked so cute in his pj pants and his sleepy eyes.

Jacob kisses you back, like he can’t get enough of you. Pulling you close before walking you back into his bedroom wall. Pinning you up against the wall of his room, he holds you by the back of your thighs as you wrap your legs around his hips. He’s determined to make it perfectly crystal clear how deep his love and affection for you really is. “I dream about you…all the time.” Jacob murmurs absentmindedly as he kisses along your jaw. His hands rub up and down your sides as he begins to kiss and suck against your neck. “Above me…below me.” Jacob breaths out his words, kissing and licking down your neck and shaking with desperation as he begins to roll his hips against yours. Jacob chuckles softly as you roll your hips to meet his, gasping out softly at the contact.

“I’d beg for you to let me show you how much you mean to me.” Jacob admits this so shamelessly, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. You groan at his words as your body heats up from the timber of his voice. Jacob Black, begging, thee Jacob Black. “I love you, so much.” He whispers softly as his hand begin to slip under your sleeping shirt. “Everything about you.” You shiver at the sound of his voice, and the feeling of his blunt nails scraping against the skin of your lower abdomen. As you close your eyes, leaning your neck to the side to give Jacob better access, suddenly you realize something.

“Jacob! Your dad is home.” You hiss out and he laughs, letting you go as you smooth out your appearance. “I’m not above jumping your bones even if my dad is home.” You stare at him in disbelief, how dare he use your own words against you. But the state this man is in, eyes blown with desire, body flushed sand his breath heavy. It makes you suck in a breath…this is going to be a long night.

—————

Part 15 will be lighter I pinky promise. The beginning of it will be some highlights of the dinner just to lighten the mood. Also I’m tired as hell so I’m sorry if this is ass

I wanted to finish this part tonight, so here it is. I hope you all enjoyed it.

Please feel free to request whatever you’d like to see in future parts.

Thanks for reading

Love ya🫶

Here’s sun smut to make up for the pain I’ve put you through



[topazy]

Tomorrow’s promise

Pairing: Daryl Dixon × reader, Rick Grimes × sister reader

Swearing: Swearing, blood

4.04

“Everyone, get back into your cells now!”

In the blink of an eye, everything had gone to shit. One minute you and Sasha are helping Hershel put a dead body onto a trolley for it to be taken away, and the next the prison block you’re in is full of walkers.

You shove Mika and Lizzie, two sisters under the age of thirteen, into a cell with you and slam the door shut just as a walker approaches. It tries to grab you, but thankfully the metal bar keeps it at bay.

“Y/n,” the youngest sister says. “She doesn’t look so good.”

Turning back around, you see Sasha slumped against the wall and coughing heavily. “Shit, keep her sitting upright and don’t open the cell for anyone else. I need to get Hershel.”

Using your blade, you stab the walker in the head, and do your best to not think about how this was a person who greeted you every morning, you’ve laughed with them, and survived alongside them.

As you navigate through the block, stepping over dead bodies and dodging walkers trying to rip you to shreds, sweat drips down your back.

You reach the far side of the upper floor and find Hershel attaching a resuscitator to Glenn. Maggie was standing guard at the cell door, shooting at the dead to keep them from getting to her dad and Glenn.

“Y/n behind you!”

The sound of shuffling feet echoes closer, and you spin fast and stab the person in the head. Henry. You feel sick; Henry was just a teenager.

Walker or not, you just stabbed a teenager, a kid.

You somehow manage to hold back the urge to vomit. “Hershel,” you call back. “Sasha’s not looking so good. You need to help her.”

The block is full of nothing but screams and gunfire, but you somehow manage to make out what Hershel is explaining, and you take over from him and start squeezing the bag of the resuscitator, inflating Glenn’s lungs.

You’re unsure how much time has passed, but when night comes, the walkers have been dealt with, and the sudden silence is deafening.

—

There was still pain in your chest whenever you took deep breaths, and your throat still felt dry and scratchy, but at least you were now able to go outside as long as you kept your distance from the others.

At least outside, the smell of death wasn’t so strong.

One of the fences came down the night before, and a horde would have gotten through if it wasn’t for Rick and Carl shooting the walkers down. Now that the rotten bodies had been moved further away, you were attempting to block up the gaps until the fence could be rebuilt more securely.

Maggie notices what you’re doing and comes over to help. “You should be resting.”

Since you’ve already been in close contact with Maggie, it didn’t matter if she was beside you. “I need to do something,” you say while wrapping a wire between a pole you stuck in the ground and a wooden crate. “Glenn is looking a lot better.”

“I know, thank God.”

“Thank Hershel; without your dad, more people would have died. Me included.”

She gives you a sympathetic smile, “Hopefully we can join the others in a couple of days.”

“Hopefully.”

You doubted things would feel normal for some time. Rick told you Carol murdered David and Karen in an attempt to stop the flu from spreading, so he banished her. You cared for Carol but couldn’t help but wonder if she would have done the same to you, Glenn, or Sasha if she saw how sick the three of you were.

“On the bright side, we got plenty of diapers and formula now that Daryl’s back from the supply,” Maggie says, making conversation.

You let out a deep sigh; you hadn’t seen Daryl since being completely conscious. He had taken a few other members of your community on a supply run, and they had only returned less than an hour ago.

Seeing you become teary-eyed, Maggie rests her hand on your shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

“I miss Jace.”

You wanted nothing more than to hold your baby and kiss his chubby cheeks and hold his hand. Beth has brought him to the viewing room once, but all it did was distress him; your poor boy didn’t understand the plastic barrier keeping the two of you apart.

“I can’t imagine how hard it is not being able to take care of him yourself, but at least you know he’s well taken care of.”

Following her trail of sight, you see Daryl holding Jace on the far side of the courtyard; he was pointing at the birds sitting on the fence. All you wanted to do was run to them, but you stayed back so as not to upset your son again. But seeing them together gives you peace of mind.

—

After helping scrub the remaining blood off the cell floors, you go back outside to watch the sun set. The atmosphere inside the block was becoming too much for you to bear—too many grieving parents, brothers, sisters, children… nothing you say would be able to help them.

Hershel says it should be safe for those not showing anymore symptoms of the flu to rejoin the rest of your community; you were equally as nervous as you were excited. Being able to take care of Jace, Carl, and Judith again was something you couldn’t wait for, but the fear of the virus spreading to them was still fresh in your mind.

The smell of tobacco fills the air. Looking over your shoulder, you see Daryl with a cigarette between his lips.

“Those things will kill ya.”

He grunts between exhaling smoke.

Sitting atop one of the metal benches, you bring your knees to your chest. “Thank you, Daryl, for always taking care of Jace.”

He takes another puff of the cigarette before dropping it on the ground and stubbing it out with his foot. “Ain’t nothing to thank me for,” he says, coming over to the bench and sitting beside you. “It’s just what we do; we dare for each other.”

Your heart races as you fully take in his appearance now that he is closer to you. Daryl’s eyes were heavy; his body, face, and hair had traces of dirt and blood covering them.

You sit in a comfortable silence for some time until Daryl suddenly turns to you and says, “Doncha, think it’s weird you ain’t ever seen me without a top on?”

“I’ve never really given it much thought; why?”

All of your time was usually spent surviving or looking after Jace, and since you hadn’t had sex yet, not seeing Daryl completely topless hadn’t even crossed your mind.

Daryl turns his head to see if anyone else is around, and after seeing there’s not, he looks away from you and pulls up the back of his top, revealing multiple deep scars on his back. After a moment, he pulls it back down and faces you just as a single tear rolls down your cheek. He wipes the tear away with the pad of his thumb. “Both my parents were alcoholics, and after my mom died, my dad became a complete asshole.”

“Daryl…” The thought of him being a frightened young boy in pain was almost too much to bear.

“It’s why I hated my goddamn brother for so long. Merle left to join the army as soon as he could, leaving me alone with him.”

You link your fingers with his; Daryl wasn’t the kind of person you could pry info out of. He only shares things when he fully trusts someone, so for him to share this with you was a big deal.

Shyly, you start to lean into him, unsure how he will react, but Daryl wraps his arms around. You bury your face into the crook of his neck. “I’ve really missed you.”

“If you're broken, then I’m broken.”

[katzkinder]

Since Mukuro and Tsuna are still weirdly connected, Tsuna’s sometimes gotten glimpses of things he wasn’t ever supposed to, and vice versa on Mukuro’s end. He usually shoves Tsuna awake once he notices Tsuna’s accidentally plopped into one of his memories, but

If it’s one of Tsuna’s, he’ll let it play out without interruption. It’s never anything of note, anyhow, so expending energy to wake him would be pointless >liar mc liar face

Eventually this gets him more than he bargained for

There’s also a lot of stuff in Tsuna’s mind that, once he’s aware of it, it makes him go okay hold up

Because it’s not like he ever assumed that Tsuna was some happy go lucky idiot, but he also assumed he wasn’t actually thinking about much in that head of his he’s sure is more fluff than brains

Gokudera-kun is going to be disillusioned with me any day now. I’m grateful to him but I feel bad for somehow tricking him like this. I shouldn’t let him get too close but I don’t want to hurt him, either. What should I do? I’m sorry, Gokudera-kun. Please don’t hate me when you figure it out.

Yamamoto is such a nice person; he shouldn’t be stuck around someone like me. He’s like Kyoko-chan like that. Nice to everyone, even useless, no good me. I wouldn’t be surprised if she fell in love with him. Of course the two nicest people in the whole school would date, right? I’m so worried about him… I don’t know how to handle the way he lights up when he sees me. What should I do? Don’t try and hurt yourself again. Don’t get hurt for my sake, either. I’m sorry I’m so weak…

Hibari-san doesn’t treat me differently from anyone else. He’s super scary but he still bothers to treat me like I’m normal. I think if even he began to act like I wasn’t worth his time I would seriously just give up and call it quits. Things have gotten so messed up. I’m relying on a psychopath like that kicking my ass to reassure me I still mean something. If even someone who values strength above all else still has hope for me what choice do I have?

Reborn’s going to give up on me. Reborn’s going to give up on me. Reborn’s going to give up on me. Don’t go. Don’t go. Don’t go don’t go don’t go don’t go don’t go don’t go don’t go don’t go— It would be just like me to be so useless I beat the world’s greatest, huh?

The only words he ever found in relation to himself, and words that shake him to his core, are very simple ones

Please wait for me

One time, though, he managed to dive deep enough to find the source of Tsuna’s Dying Will, and he keeps going back despite knowing it’s a pointless, silly thing to do.

There are still the broken remnants of a cage around it. If he sits near it like this, he can almost pretend he isn’t in Vindicare. The cage is still red hot. He’ll burn his fingers if he tries to handle them. The flames reach out to him but don’t touch.

It is not a soft, warm home.

It is something which, if he allowed it to, would consume him right down to his marrow.

This is how Sawada Tsunayoshi has always survived

One day he sees that flame guttering, and he feels panic swell in his throat, because what could possibly, after all this time, be dimming that roaring inferno

There’s ice at the base now

Tsuna made a binding vow to destroy Vongola, that rotten, shambling corpse of a man’s ideals puppeteered by someone with a face a lot like his.

He knows better than anyone that when you make that kind of vow, if you don’t fulfill it… There are consequences.

The mafia has practically deified Vongola Primo’s will into its own separate entity.

The ring, rebuilt and no longer fit for any other, past or future, weighs cold on a young boy’s finger, demanding he make good on his promise

Mukuro wants to destroy the mafia. He’ll get his wish. He’ll make sure of it.

Sawada Tsunayoshi… Is too kind for that life, anyhow.

[demigod-shenanigans]

Hi I’m super stuck on the “Nicknames/Wilderness”  prompt for Day 1 of Lost Trio Week, and for various reasons I only have a week to write something. If you could be so kind as to drop a few hcs/thoughts that might get me inspired to write, that would be very much appreciated! (The writer’s block is real)

Laughing a little bit because that’s the prompt I’m also stuck on

I will share headcanons, too, but a general gentle reminder: if it’s too much or you’re not feeling a certain prompt, you can absolutely participate in lost trio week without participating in every single day. Also not sure how you’re doing it, but personally, I’m not writing these in order. I started with Day Four because that was the one I felt most inspired to work on

That being said:

-If we’re talking Wilderness as in Wilderness School, Leo and Piper clicked the moment they met. I’m not sure what it was, exactly—maybe he made a stupid joke and she was the only one that laughed. Maybe she caught him trying to play a prank on someone and wanted in on it. Whatever it was, they’ve been inseparable ever since. It could be interesting to explore some of those memories, or how they looked like with Jason added, or maybe what it would have been like if Jason had actually ended up at the school with them somehow.

-When it comes to Wilderness as more of a general concept, one of the specific silly things my brain just went to was camping trip. Piper has little to no skills when it comes to that stuff. She’s lived in mansions and had private chefs for most of her childhood. The closest she’s ever come to camping has been missions and the time her and her dad camped in the yard of her grandpa’s old home when she was ten, but that wasn’t real camping. Jason has lived in the woods before when he was very little and probably has skills based on that and some stuff he picked up from survival classes in that context, but living with wolves is very different from regular camping and if he’s ever had to apply his theoretical Camp knowledge, he cannot remember it. Leo has the most practical skills when it comes to sleeping outside but he was just kind of making shit up as he went and didn’t really have equipment. —This is all to say they take like an hour failing to set up a tent. Leo has never been more frustrated in his life because he rebuilt a celestial bronze dragon from scratch but is somehow being foiled by a tent instruction manual. Jason keeps bringing up that sleeping under the stars at age three wasn’t that bad. Piper goes from frustrated to laughing hysterically because this being the thing they fail at after every ridiculous impossible task they’ve mastered is objectively hilarious. The whole trip is a disaster for a variety of reasons but I feel like they end up having a great time

-I’m not very good with Nicknames (neither as a prompt nor as a general concept honestly, I’m not really someone who gives people nicknames a lot), but one of the things that comes to mind there could be these changing over the years? Leo and Piper go from strangers to friends and use nicknames for each other for the first time, and it means something, because Leo’s not stuck around another person for long enough to come up with a nickname in years. Jason getting a nickname from Piper and Leo and not really being sure why it feels as strange as it does since he doesn’t have his memories—Reyna doesn’t feel like she’s the type of person to really use nicknames, and since everyone at Camp Jupiter saw him as a leader, I don’t feel like they’d casually call him by some nickname either. Jason hearing that nickname and it being meaningful because for the first time in ages he feels like a kid instead of a leader. Jason getting to use a nickname for Leo and/or Piper for the first time and it feeling significant for the same reason. Jason and Piper post-breakup trying to figure out what to call each other now because they’re objectively better as friends but it’s still weird and new and everything is different and it’s too strange to keep using the same nicknames they did when they were dating.

Hope some of this was helpful!! Please feel free to use however much or little of it as you’d like! Writing this out actually helped me massively because it made me realize I’m a massive idiot and do have a concept I want to use for this prompt (not any of the above ones so again please feel free to grab them if you’d like!) so thank you for that haha

[xixovart]

assigning my favorite pjo characters songs based on vibes :))

ignore the lyrics in these. it’s vibes. all vibes. rythm, melody, motifs, instruments

this somehow (unsurprisingly, because it’s me) ended up becoming a psychoanalysis of certain characters but the motif is essentially the same so enjoy!!

NICO DI ANGELO

my all time fav. love him so much.

there’s somehing so gentle but real about the melody in this. the way it feels like early winter at dusk. the way it feels like gentle solo dancing in the kitchen to a melody stuck in your head. the way it feels like braiding a loved one’s hair and talking.

WILL SOLACE

my beloved underrated child

now this one feels like a summer in the suburbs. like puzzles and cheap juice from the market. like the sun blazing on your skin and you’re laughinh and running. like playing that game on the road with chalk. it feels like nostalgia, like longing for an infantile giddiness that is long gone.

ANNABETH CHASE

the woman you are 💗💗💗💥💥😍😍

there are probably better options, but this one can be interpreted as either calm and nostalgic or melancholy and painful. “everything reminds me of you” but do the memories hurt or heal?

HAZEL LEVESQUE

please show this woman some love. she really deserves it

i have no idea why. maybe it’s the way it’s so upbeat? not saying that hazel is a “sunshine character” as the fandom usually puts it, cause she isn’t, it just reminds me of how much she overcame and how much happier she is now than before. she got her happy ending despite literally every single odd. ugh i love her so much.

JASON GRACE

stupid little amnesiac. gotta love him.

again, i dont know why??? maybe it’s the instruments. it’s probabl6 the instruments. but jason is just such a beautiful and kindhearted soul and i think this song embodies that. this song reminds me of every time jason told leo he was important. every time he somehow made reyna laugh before everything happened. makes me think of how he was the first person to unconditionally support nico and the first to make him feel like he’s not the person he’s made out to be. makes me think of how he and leo were the first to actually see and recognize piper. how he made temples for every minor god(dess) he could think of because he understood what it’s like to be forgotten. im not sorry that this turned into a jason grace appreciation post btw.

KAYLA KNOWLES

pls talk about her more plsplsplsplspls

you know im right. you know im right. i dont think i even have to elaborate. this song was written for her. the beat? the instruments??all her

REYNA RAMIREZ-ARELLANO

she. 😍

the feeling of letting something—maybe a person, an era, maybe your whole life in her case it’s all—pass you by because you took it for granted. a melancholy and quiet regret and longing something that is burned and can never be rebuilt, no matter how much you try. it won’t feel the same.

ALEX FIERRO

el mapache humanizado

i have no idea why i said that in spanish but alex is latino so it stays

it’s so? alex?? pls tell me i make sense. becuase like some parts of the song are like just pure teenage dirtbag shenanigans and the prime of your life, but others feel like screaming underwater and pleading for help. ykwim?

anyways yes i never shut up and i love all these songs and i really should go to sleep now because it’s 12:15 but i’m gonna continue reading the odyssey because time is an illusion. see ya losers. love ya.

[bibibbon]

MHA chapter 425

Iam not really sure how to feel about this chapter. Well I can definitely say that I still think that the entirety of the second war arc especially the last few chapters weren't my favourite and ruined the series for me but we have the power of rewrites on our side so not to worry

So we finally have a 1A member that left. It's surprising that it took a total of 425 chapters for someone to finally leave the hero course. This low-key makes me question if 1A just all has neglectful parents that don't care about them because I think any sane parent would of took their kids out of UA a long time ago and the first war arc should of been a wake up call. Now that yuuga has left it does make me wonder what he will do. I mean he has to continue his education somewhere 🤷‍♀️

Shinsou joins class 1A and Iam surprised his parents let him. I get that shinsou was due to join the hero course in their second year but like this series sometimes make me question if any of these characters have sane parents because why would you let your kid join in such a dangerous job?!?! Also I respectfully think that shinsou is heavily underdeveloped and didn't get any moment to shine in the war arc. Also there isn't much of a relationship between 1A and shinsou so it does feel a bit off I guess and maybe this is just me but I always thought that he fit in better with 1b

Pacing is hella fast! How are they going back to school already and throwing a graduation ceremony. It hasn't been a week and somehow everything is rebuilt like that, we get little to no information from what they plan to do in the future. We do get a tiny speech but we don't get them starting to do such things and personally I would of at least enjoyed a panel seeing some heroes help rebuild and clean the damage caused. Plus I think everyone can tell that the MHA society is flawed so saying that they want to go back to their old ways seems very iffy to me. I also would of liked an acknowledgement in what actually happen in the war arc but considering that not many people died they weren't gonna do any type of memorial thing or anything.

Is that shigaraki?!?! Or kurogiri?!?!?!? Who is it!!! Iam totally unsure of who it is but I don't think it would make sense if it was shigaraki because he literally died unless hori is actually going along with the plan of separating Tenko and shigaraki and thats not shigaraki but the innocent and crying Tenko type of bs (I absolutely hate this idea tbh) also what happend for tenko to come back as a child I suppose? Or is this someone completely new who has been effected by society and we're supposed to be like well evil is still brewing as society hasn't changed type thing? Maybe it's kurogiri idk I just want to see kurogiri again.

Enji is in a wheelchair (don't really care for him). This makes me question if endy is even a hero anymore and if he ain't who is the number one then? ( I still think they're going by that system because they said they wanna go back to the old ways)

Wait are we gonna see Dabi next chapter!!!!. Enji is facing somewhere with a ton of wires and all so maybe it could be where Dabi is being held at? I mean we don't know if Dabi is dead and we didn't get todoroki talking about it at all

I need Izuku's old hair back!! I miss the fluffy hair and I get that the convo was supposed to be lighthearted and all but I would of enjoyed the pages being used for something else like them actually checking up on eachother. Is tokoyami quirkless? How did they spend their time? Questions like that would of sufficed but I hated Izuku's hair at least he has some people telling him it's cool even if they might be lying

This chapter didn't give us much clarification on much to be honest. Yeah I was expecting this chapter to have huge focus on other villains and characters yet it didn't. I know I have to be patient blah blah but the last two panels of 424 did give us ochako and Todoroki but we got the least focus on them this chapter. I was hoping the villain situations might start to get addressed but I guess that will be next chapter with maybe Tenko making a comeback?

Also I love how we got Toruu's quirk glitching but no one acknowledges it or helps her with it (sarcasm if you couldn't realise)

I also hate whatever convo that was between Izuku and ochako, it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth for some unknown reason

Why the hell is a third year In charge of something a teacher should be!!?!?!! Poor fuwa UA corruption and hypocrisy goes deep.

How are children still joining ua?!?! Like yep society moves on like nothing happend even though Japan was turned upside down in chaos

In conclusion, it was ok I didn't expect it to be amazing because it was a chapter that was gonna expand on stuff I didn't like 🤷‍♀️.

[rcedge]

I will always support TLJ hate because I was a huge Luke Skywalker fan and I feel like they destroyed his character and then just killed him off at the end :( I gave up on the franchise after that. The whole discourse around that movie was so strange too. After TFA everybody was speculating about who Rey's parents were and I loved the theory that Luke was her father and Kylo was her cousin and they'd all been tragically separated somehow (very Wars of the Roses in space, the daughter of the son versus the son of the daughter). And then with TLJ the director was like 'um actually Rey being a Skywalker by blood would be totally elitist and you can be force sensitive without being related to an existing character ya know'. And then in ROS they randomly made her the granddaughter of Palpatine lol. And I haven't even mentioned the way that they treated characters like Finn. What an absolute mess!

I could not agree with you more ESPECIALLY on the luke front like you're telling me the guy who saw good in his planet-exploding dad tried to kill his nephew for being emo? Come on man. he's literally the titular hope in a new hope. you're telling me he just rebuilt the jedi order exactly how it was? COME ON MANNNNN!!!!!!

with rey i personally never really gave any mind to who her parents were but i thought the assertion that it would be elitist or whatever to make her related to the skywalkers was very bizarre considering that the whole of star wars is ostensibly the story of the skywalker family Rey's story in general just suffered badly from everybody having completely different ideas of what they wanted to do and so she never developed like any kind of interesting personality or connections to anyone beyond kylo which was kind of stupid as fuck cus her relationship in the fist film with finn was fun and i think if they actually gave us the functional trio of finn rey and poe it could have been a fun dnymaic but what ever we need that rat kylo fsr

the palpatine shit is hands down the most bizarre thing like i remember sitting in the theater and just blurting out "What the fuck?" that movie was genuinely so bad i started crying and i tried to leave but the people i was with at the time would not let me lol which was fair movie tickets are kind of too expensive to waste even if it feels like your soul being scraped out with some kind of blunt object

re: finn and poe this actually bothers me so much like even beyond a shipping thing obviously cus Seriously what was the deal with any of that. i think we can all agree that finn should have been force sensitive (thus taking care of rian johnson's stupid ass worry about skywalker only force sensitive characters or whatever the fuck) instead of giving him a completely Nothing plot in the most Nothing plot movie of all time wherein nothing gets accomplished by anyone this has beentalked about by better and more intelligent people than me

what i don't see talked a lot about is what they did to poe like he was completely in the right for not trusting laura dern's stupid fuck character holdo or whatever her fuck ass name was like would YOU???? it was so frustrating like sitting there like Wait but hes right you are completely suspicious how the hell was he supposed to know you had some grand master plan if you are refusing to tell the people under your command even the ones that are quite high up literally nothing . fuck was i glad when she did suicide .

also i forget if this was in tlj or tros cus frankly they all kind of blend together in a river of piss and shit at this point but making poe a drug trafficker was crazyyyyy. your single hispanic character in a mainline star wars film and you completely retcon his backstory from Son of rebels that worked with leia -> drug dealer is fucking crazy like are you serious LOL i hate those fucking films so much bro

oh also i hate the porgs and i was glad when chewbacca tried to eat one cus i hated them i hated them i hated them die die die die

[craftymakerland]

Why the wait?

A Luisa x female oc

I had just turned 19 last week and didn't really celebrate it, but the only person that actually cared was my best friend Luisa. We have known each other for a while now and my parents don't even know I talk to her. I like to keep my social life More private.

"AVA!” My mother called.

I slowly took a deep breath, and made my way downstairs to see my mother in frustration. She waited for me in the kitchen with a cigarette in her hand and a spoon in the other. I just happened to see my dad on the couch while walking by.

"What did you need, mother?" I asked.

"I need you to go out and get some food for tonight, it doesn't matter what, just make it good." My mother replied.

She gave me a list of other things that she needed besides what she wanted me to get.

I hurried to slip on some shoes and left the house without a sound. I could feel my mothers eye staring at me as I made my way out. Without looking back I walked out with a smile. I made my way down to the village where the market was located, it was my go-to place for anything. I peacefully go about my day and I couldn't help but hum a sweet toon. It was one that Luisa always hummed towards herself while she worked. It was so peaceful that I had always listened to it and over time I learned it, not that it's stuck, but it's something that always calms me. While making my way, I heard a familiar voice.

"Hey I recognize that hum from anywhere." You turned around to see who was talking behind you. I was so happy to see it was my dear friend,

I was relieved that it was here, because she was the only person that I knew and she was the only one who knew that hum. After all she came up with it. I did jump a little when she approached me though.

"Luisa, you startled me, how have you been?" I said with a smile.

Something about Her smile made every problem disappear, it was nice.

"Haha, well so far my days have been alright, but working all the time gets really boring and tiring and boring. Now that you're here it's so much better!"

Luisa screamed with excitement.

"woah someone's in a good mood."

I saw her smile to herself when I made that comment, it was cute when she did as such. I continued my walk and loved that she started to follow me.

" Yeah I don't know, ever since we rebuilt castita, my life changed somehow and I like it a little more!"

I liked seeing her so happy, it's been some time since I've seen her in such joy. Seeing her beautiful smile and laugh was enjoyable to watch. I couldn't help but smile at her, it's like problems have drifted away when she is around. I snapped out of my train of thought from her voice.

"So what are you up to?" Luisa curiously asked.

“You've been following me and yet have no clue what I'm doing?” I laughed

I watched as she giggled to herself.

“Well if you must know, I'm going to the market.” I answered

"Oh fun, do you mind if I join you? No, not at all." Luisa asking and answering her own question.

“It's not like you were following me or anything.” We both laughed.

We were about there at the market, it was just a few blocks down. The whole time we laughed, talked and had such a wonderful time together. After a bit, we finally made it, and I pulled out the list first so I wouldn't forget anything that she needed, then I was gonna get some things for dinner after. I went over to grab a basket and Luisa saw me grabbing the ingredients for pasta.

"Hmmm, looks like you're gonna make something good, what kind of pasta are you making?" Luisa said while leaning over your shoulder.

"It's pesto, I'm making something for my family, it's something that I would like to do. Usually happens on every Wednesday.” I Answered.

“They must be lucky, cuz I heard that you're an amazing cook.” she smiled

“Yeah, lucky.” I whispered to myself.

I paid for the things, but had to wait on Luisa. She wanted a mango to snack on. We then both left the market and started to walk some more.

“Hey I still have some time left, do you maybe wanna hang out some more?” I asked.

I know that I was pushing how long I was out but I couldn't help myself.

“Yes! I have some time. How about we go to the lake and chill there?” Luisa said with excitement.

“Yes, it will Be fun.” I replied

With my basket in hand, we make our way towards the lake, located where the two moutians split.

"Well here we are." Luisa said as she was walking towards the lake.

It was a beautiful sight, let alone really peaceful. I sat my basket down and and went next to the water. There I saw luisa lift her dress just enough to put her feet in the water, ofc she had taken ber shoes off before hand. I decided to do the same thing. Taking my shoes off, I stood right next to her along with relaxing my feet in the water. I looked at the sunset and close my eyes, the sun felt so warm agiant my face.

“This feels nice.” Luisa spoke.

With my eyes still being shut, I agreed.

“You wanna know something?” Luisa said with a smile.

She took my hand and we sat down near the water.

“I used to come here all the time, for peace and for the lovely view, very few people came up here, which is why I found myself very calm.” Luisa spoke

She started to face me and gave me a warm smile. I felt my face getting alittle warm by her embrace towards me. I got alittle closer to her and rested my head on her shoulder.

“You always found a way to keep me at peace, I don't know how you do it, but when with you I feel, loved.” I said with a smile.

She looked at me and I could see her eyes wide opened and her cheeks a rosy red. I raised my head up from her shoulders and I couldn't help but have the same reaction. Silence filled the air, I leaned in without a second thought. She leaned into me, lips inches apart from each other. There was one thing that I wanted to do, and I felt that she wanted the same. I hurried to stop myself though, I had completely lost track of time, and I had to stop the moment that we had. I could tell that she wanted to continue.

“It's getting really late, I have to go before my parents get worried.” I said in a panic.

“Hey, hey, it's okay, I'll walk you home so you don't have to worry About Any Creeps bothering you.” She laughed off.

The look that they had after, had my stomach drop. I didn't want to stop what we were doing, but there's a reason why I had to and I don't wanna Lose my friendship with her.

We both grabbed our shoes and took our feet out of the water. I saw that she had grabbed the basket for me.

“you Don't Have to do that.” I said with a smile.

“But I want to.” She gave me an even bigger smile.

I couldn't help but get so red from her. We both walked down to the village, and it had gotten quite dark, we really did lose track Of time. It took about 20 minutes to get back, usually it took a lot sooner, but we couldn't help but talk and take our sweet time coming back.

“Well here we are.” I was beside my house as she handed me the basket.

“Hey, I really had fun with you today.” She grabbed my hand and kissed it.

“And I can't thank you enough for it.” She smiled at me.

I looked at her and sat there in silence. She hurried to let go of my hand and panicked.

“I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable!” She spoke worryingly.

Tbh I didn't hear a word she had said, I was Mostly thinking about what she had done. She turned around with a slight frown and started to walk off. I snapped out of my train of thought, and hurried to grab her arm. She turned around towards me in confusion.

“Is everything okay-”

I pulled her down to me and gave her a kiss. She was in shock, but in a good way. It took her a little bit to comprehend what happened. She finally caught onto it and kissed back immediately, she wrapped her Hands around my waist and pulled me In. I didn't want this moment to end.

After a moment we broke the kiss and all we did was look at eachother, so I couldn't help but go in for another. This time just a quick peck.

“I'll see you tomorrow.” I said Happily.

I rushed towards my house and went inside. I could tell that she had the biggest smile on her face. When I went inside I heard A big yelp of joy from outside, it made me giggle a little.

“Hey mom, I'm sorry it took so long, but I got the things that you wanted and food for tonight.” I spoke.

“Thank you baby, and don't worry about fixing anything, I'll make it.” She responded.

“Is everything okay, you love it when I make dinner.” I asked

“Yeah, everything's fine but there's something that we need to talk about.” She said with a frown on her face.

My stomach dropped when hearing those words from her mouth, usually when she ever had anything to tell me and she had to sit me down for it, it was never good.

“I'll go ahead and tell you now while your father is out. We both know that you're an adult now, and well your father doesn't like that you're not married yet.” She spoke.

“Wait, what are you saying?” I said as I could feel my stomach starting to drop.

“Your father had arranged a marriage for you.” She said very disappointed in herself.

“WHAT?!” I was furious.

“He doesn't have the right to say who I get to marry.” i was modified about all of this.

“Calm down hun.” She spoke gently.

“ I am Calm!” I spoke out of rage.

“Who is it that I'm getting married to?” Even though I didn't want to be in an arranged marriage, I still wanted to know who it was. I was interrupted by my father barging Into the room.

“So I'm assuming that your mother had told you what's Happening yes?” he spoke to me.

“Sadly, but why don't I have a choice who I get to marry? It should be my decision, not you!” I yelled.

He grabbed my face and looked at me with a glare.

“Well that's too damn bad, you're going to meet him tomorrow and you are gonna like it.” he jerked my face back and left the room and went back out to wherever he was before he barged in here.

I couldn't look at my parents anymore, so I ran up to my room and refused to look or talk to them for the rest of the night.

The Next Day…

I couldn't sleep at all that night, all I kept thinking was what my mother had said as well as my father. sitting Up from the covers I see a dress hanging up from my door. I couldn't even look at it, I will say that the dress was quite pretty, but the Occasion for it is what made it ugly. I heard my mother knock then slowly opened the door.

“Good Morning Ava.” My mother greeted me.

She leaned against the door with her Arms crossed.

“Look I know that you don't wanna do this, and frankly I don't want you to either, but your father is old fashioned and the man of the house, so whatever he says goes.” She said sadly.

“I know.” I felt a tear run down my face. I felt my mothers fingers caress my cheek.

“ Is there someone else? Might I ask.” She questioned.

“Well I wouldn't say that but, getting there.” I said quietly.

She gave me a little smile and nudged My shoulder.

“So who is he or she?” My mother chuckled.

“How would you know it's a she?” I said in a panic.

I felt her hand on my cheek.

“One thing that you must always know is That a mother always knows, no matter how hard you try to hide it.” She smiled.

I was at a loss for words.

“I'll tell you what, how bout you do this “date” with this boy, just to make your father happy and we will see what happens after, and I can see what I can do to try to get you out of this marriage.” She spoke.

I had to give it some thought, but she was right, I'm gonna do this just to get it out of the way and go from there.

“Ugh fine.” I replied.

“That's my girl, now hurry up and get ready, he should be waiting outside in 30 minutes.” she hurried to tell Me.

She went out of the room and made her way down stairs.

I screamed into my pillow to get everything out before having to get ready for this stupid date.

The dress was a pink strawberry dress, with a long v-neck in the front and with puffy sleeves. I did love it. I won't lie about that. I put the dress on, and let my hair down, it looked really good on me. With the dress I decided to wear my black slip on with it. Now I was ready, I stead of thinking about wearing this for some date, I decided to think of it as wearing it for Luisa. Now I started to feel even prettier now.

“AVA!” My mother screamed.

“He's here, hurry!” She yelled.

“I'm coming!” I yelled back.

I ran downstairs and really wasn't ready to open the door.

“Hello.” The man spoke out to me.

I looked at him with an uneasy look.

“Uh, hi.” I responded.

I didn't like this not one bit.

“You ready? I asked.

“Oh, I'm sorry, lady's first.” He said politely.

I will say he was nice but I already had my heart set. We both walked out and I just walked alongside him, not really Making conversation. He was quiet the whole time. It was kinda boring. From a distance I saw Luisa doing her everyday chores. I wanted to say hi to her, but I didn't want to ditch him. Yes I didn't Want to go out with him, but I wasn't gonna leave him stranded. I was raised better than that, so I just went about my day with him. As the day went on, we actually had a good time together. His name was Alex. He was fun to hang out with, he acted more like a brother that I never had before. We went to the Cafe that was a couple of blocks away from my house and sat down for coffee.

“So, what do you think of all of this?” I questioned.

“In all honesty, I never agreed to this, let alone I already have someone in mind,” he replied.

Him saying that gave me hope. Maybe if our parents found out that he already loved another girl then this can be all over and done with. I was way ahead of myself.

“Can you keep a secret?” I asked

“If it deals with murder then no.” he laughed.

“Nothing like that.” I laughed alongside him.

“ What If I told you that I had someone in mind as well?” I replied.

“oh?” He sounded curious, but in a good way.

“Alright here's the deal, if I tell you who mine is, you have to tell me yours, deal?” he pointed out.

“deal, now tell me!” I snapped excitedly.

He grabbed my shoulder and pointed my head towards where his love was at.

“ do you see that person, in front of that big blue house over there?” he asked

“ The one that's holding a flower?” I questioned

“Actually it's the one holding the shovel,” he corrected.

“Omg, you like him?!” I said with a grin.

I watched as he started to sink down the seat.

“Oh, so it is.” I teased.

I watched as his face turned red.

“Well in that case.” I told him to rise up on his chair to where he was sitting. I got a little closer and grabbed his shoulder like he did mine.

“You see that girl over there?” I asked.

“Which one?” Alex questioned.

“No, the girl, that is, picking up the church.” I said with excitement.

“Oh you're talking about Luisa.” He teased me.

“You know she's one of my friends and she does not stop talking about you.” He spoke.

“Wait, she does? What does she say about me?” I questioned.

“She tells me how cute you are, how pretty you are, how smart you are, like there's a whole list of things she says About You, like yesterday, she wouldn't stop telling me how much she wanted to make a move on you.” He said.

I sunk in my chair as he did before and covered my face with my hands.

“She did Ahhhh.” I whispered.

“What did She do??? Tell me everything!” He questioned.

Well before She Took me home, I wouldn't say she made the move, I did, I grabbed her arm and we shared a kiss.” I replied.

“That is way too cute , omg!”

“And speaking off, Look who's coming over this way now.” He teased me.

“Oh shut up.” I shushed him.

“Hey Ava! And hey Alex, whatcha you both up to?” Luisa questioned.

He turned around towards her.

“So you know that arranged marriage I was telling you about, yeah, she's the person that my parents wanted me to marry, this was her first time knowing about it.” He explained.

I looked down In shame for not immediately telling Her about this.

“My father kinda forced me to do this, and I'm stuck and don't know what to do.” I tried to hold my tears back.

“How about I go over there and talk to him while you and Luisa spend Time together.” Alex kindly interrupted.

“That sounds really fun.” I started to cheer up.

“Then you two love birds should Get going.” He spoke.

And with that me and Luisa went off together.

“So how are you handling all of this?” Luisa questioned.

“To be honest, I don't Like it at all, but, can we focus On the moment between us both?” I didn't want to be rude, but the marriage thing was really bothering Me and I just wanted the moment to be between us two.

“I completely Understand, and in that Case you should Follow me.” Luisa said in understandment.

She took my hand as she ran into the woods with me. It was a place where me and her could be together without anybody bothering us.

“Alright, now close your eyes.” She whispered.

She helped me walk wherever she was taking me.

“Now open.”

It was so beautiful, the sunset was shining from the water and everything was the best lighting.

“It's so beautiful Luisa, omg it's a perfect spot.” I looked at the sun.

“So uh, wanna try that kiss again?” She said teasingly while grabbing my Waist.

I wrapped my arms around her neck as she tightened the grip around my waist.

“I would love to.” I giggled.

We embraced each other as we shared a long kiss. Out of surprise she Picked me up in bridal style and kissed me once again. She kept swinging at me as she giggled her heart away.

The kiss broke and we looked at each other with such compassion.

“I never want to let you go.” She said with a smile.

“ I want you to be mine.” She blushed.

She kissed me all over the face and stopped once again to look at me.

“I've been Wanting to ask you something for a long time now.” Luisa said.

I looked at her as she put me down. She placed her hands on my cheek.

“Ava, will you be my girlfriend?” Luisa spoke in a shy tone.

A smile crossed my face without hesitation and I jumped onto her causing her to tumble to the ground.

“yes, a thousand times yes!” I screamed out. I kissed with passion and we laughed in-between kisses. Nothing could be better than this.

Time had passed and it started to get dark. We laid under the moonlit light with our hands locked together. It was a beautiful night and very peaceful.

“It's getting late, shouldn't You be home by now?” I asked.

“Yeah, but I wouldn't have been able to hang out with you for the rest of the night.” She pouted.

“You'll see me tomorrow though.” I said in a loving voice.

She rolled her eyes while laughing.

“I guess you're right.” as she still pouted. It was too cute.

She got up and helped me up from the grass. I was a little itchy from it, but it was worth it. She twirled me around as she helped me up, and caressed my face. She looked at me one last time before we had to part ways. I kissed hers before we left.

On my way home I kept on repeating that night over and over again. I felt blood rush up to my face. It was the best feeling ever. I finally made it to the house and took a deep breath upon Entering.

“Hi mom you would never believe-”

“Mom?” I called out.

I looked around wondering where she was. It was unusual to not see her in the house, it was rare that she ever left. I started to get worried and searched the whole house, not a sign of her. There was one more room that I haven't checked yet, and it was their bedroom. I was never allowed in there but I was desperate and didn't know where she was. I knocked and to my surprise The door opened, as if someone opened it for me. There I saw my father sitting down on the bed, with a look that was sinister look, he look furious.

“He-y, dad.” I struggled to say.

“Is everything okay?” I asked again.

“How was your date?” he Asked In a calm, demanding way.

“It was fun, we had a lot in common.” I tried to lighten the vibe.

He got up from the bed and looked me dead in the eyes.

“So you really had fun, didn't you?” he said once more.

I couldn't tell where he was getting at but I didn't like it.

I couldn't keep my eyes off of him, from the fear of him doing something if I did.

“Where are you getting at?” I managed to say.

“I think you know.” He said with an unsettling Smile. I watched as he grabbed his belt off the bed. He grabbed my arm with force and pulled his other hand back where it looked like he was gonna Swing at me. I screamed for A short second, and hurd the front door slammed open. He hurried to let go to see what the noise was. Only to back up when seeing a 6ft figure on the wall. He started to back up even faster when it looked like the figure was charging at him. There were too many things going on at once so I backed up alongside him. I ran into a corner and put myself into a ball, covering my eyes and holding my head close to me, hoping that whatever it is that's coming would soon leave. I heard muffled screaming, which sounded like my dad. So I still continued to curl up, and not look up. I heard my name being called from a distance.

“Ava, Ava, AVIANNA!” someone called.

I looked up to see Luisa bent down towards my level. She had tears rolling down her face, and my first instinct was to hug her. I didn't know too much of what was going on. All I could think of is that my mother was gone and I kinda went bat shit crazy on me. Luisa broke the hug slowly and looked at me to make sure that I was okay.

“Dolores hurd everything and alerted me as fast as she could, so I sprinted down here in seconds. Dolores and the others are still making their way down here.” She said in a worried tone and she was trying to calm herself from all the tears she was producing.

“I'm okay, don't cry, I'm okay.” I hugged her once again as she hugged me right back but slightly tighter.

“I think they are in here !” a voice called.

I looked to see the whole room filled with her family making sure I was okay. Luisa let go of the Hug once more.

“Why didn't you tell us that your father was doing bad things to you.” Dolores asked.

Luisa looked at me even more worried.

“He did bad things to you?” She turned back to dolores.

“Why didn't you tell me?” Luisa said a little More upset.

“I didn't know what to do.” Dolores said in shame.

“Hey everything's okay, I'm okay, look at me.” I demanded gently.

I had gotten Luisa to calm down Bit. I then saw her mother come running towards me.

“Are you okay, are You hurt?” her mom questioned.

“I'm not hurt, it's fine.” I said in a calm voice.

“Come on, let's get you up.” Felix and pepa came to get me up and standing once again.

They all left the house and on the way out I saw my father tied up to a chair and mouth covered with tape. I left him there, he put me through Hell my entire life. I held Luisa's hand in front of him and kissed her in such a loving way, her family was In awe at the scene and my father Looked furious. The whole family walked back to Casita and I hesitated at first but walked Alongside them.

As we walked in, the whole family gathered around me to make sure that I was okay and if I was hurt in any way. After a little bit they went off to bed after it was so late, and Luisa held my hand and guided me up the stairs into her room. As the door opened, it was massive, there was a huge Bed, I was in complete shock.

“Do you like it?” she asked

“It's huge.” I giggled a little to myself.

I could tell that what I had said put a big smile on her face. I went to sit down on her bed and kept replaying what happened.

“here.” Luisa had given me a shirt and sweats to sleep in. I took them and went into her bathroom to get dressed.

I knew they looked big when she gave them to me, but I didn't know it was this big. I went out of the bathroom and back into her bedroom. All I could see was her blushing and laughing at the same time. She thought that it was overly cute but hilarious at the same time. I couldn't help but laugh with her. After she had calmed down she looked at me with a huge smile.

“Did you want to borrow some of my sister's clothes? She asked.

“I should be good, I'm gonna go to sleep soon anyways.” I laughed to myself.

“ Well if you change your mind, her room is down the hall from mine, she should still be awake.”

she spoke.

She went into her bathroom to get changed. After a bit she came out with a surprised look on her face.

“So you decided to change huh.” She smirked.

I do admit that Isabella’s clothes fit better and we're more comfortable than Luisa’s. She made her way to the mirror and I watched her take the red ribbon out of her hair. It was so long, it's been a while since she had taken her hair down, it was pretty. I came up from behind her and combed my fingers through her hair.

“That feels good, don't stop.”

I smiled at that remark, she liked the feeling of my fingers through her hair, it was relaxing. She loves head rubs even more. I have her a kiss on the cheek

And made my way towards the bed, I watched as she laid right next to me and hugged me from behind. I could feel her big arms around me, I felt so warm and safe in her arms. And with that we slowly drifted to sleep.

Hours Went By…

“SHIT, MY MOM!”

Ava♥️! Luisa 💖!

Made little portrait of themm,

I really hope that you like it 🥰!

[cr00willaneous]

Being the mediator and "comunicator" in my family is so fucking exhausting. Especially since I'm a people pleaser and nobody ever seems to agree on anything here, so I bear my mother's and father's disappointment and frustration not only at themselves but at ME. I somehow always manage to mess it up.

The worst part is I can literally, PHYSICALY, feel it in my chest, like I feel this weight and this ache and this weird feeling, and I feel anxious ALL DAY and it ruins my mood and I feel like wanting to cry, and like I have to fix it but I don't know how and despite my greatest efforts I always seem to fail and fall short. All my attempts at trying to fix it, for years now, have failed.

It feels worse knowing this strain in their relationship was a direct cause of my and my brothers existence. If we hadn't been borned they probably wouldn't have moved here and maybe their problems wouldn't have started, maybe. I am responsible and I have to fix it.

I walk around with this ache on my chest, walking on eggshels around them, thinking of wvery move and word to say to not make it worse, somehow i always manage to fail. And yet NOBODY SEEMS TO CARE, my mother and father seem to prefer to be mad and built resentment towards each other than have a serious and conversation, and i cant blame them because they literaly CAN'T without shouting. My father always screams or talks loudly or in a tone than conveys so much dissapointent it hurts, he likes to have control and gets mad when you chose something he didnt want, he finger-points acts the victim saying we dont value his opinion when his opinion taints every decision we (or at least I) take and getting angry, he never seems to hide his dissapoibtment or disday, and he cant pretend to be exited for you if youre exited about something that he isn't. My mother takes stuff very personally and is very sensible like me so she takes criticism really hard and is hard to try to tell her something without hurting her feelings, she tells me I can be honest with her, but I can't, not without causing a problem with my father, not while burdening her emotions too, not while I know that we can't communicate truly. I understand their tired, but I cannot keep shouldering their emotions so much, I cannot keep being their therapist because I DONT KNOW HOW I WISH I DID BUT I DONT KNOW, and it hurts seeing my parents talk shit of each behind the other's back and knowing that the only reason they stay together and unhappy is because of us (my mother literally admited this to me while I was sobbing). My brother also doesn't seem to care, My mother and I tried to fix his relationship with my father but never gave their part, my father started guilt tripping us and my brother sometimes made things worse so we stopped trying, they seem better now because my brother is calmer but I call tell the trust was never rebuilt.

I carry around all this anxiety over the simplest things, I second guess myself every single day, it's so hard to make big decisions. Heck I cannot even send a fucking text anymore becaus it guves so much anxiety that i somehow always seem to ruin digital conversation. And yet when I ask for help (or at least try to) im forgotten, not ignored, I'm heard, but after a while they forget, and sometimes I do to, i can bittle it up and try to forget and be whimsy and shit, but give it a month, or the slightest amount of stress or a problem, and all of it returns and I'm back with this TERRIBLE feeling, with this looming dread and anxiety, like Damocle's sword is over me all day and I must perform my best, so I do, and nobody seems to care because nobody seems to look deeper. I hate being the mediator, I hate being bridge between them, I hate it so much. I don't want to mess anything up and yet somehow I ALWAYS DO. Or maybe I don't and its just them, i can't tell anymore. I keep procastinating on thing because I'm jsut scared that when I make a decision something is gonna come up and I would have messed up... again.

And it scares that maybe it's all my fault, and that despite my efforts I can't chage and will always keep doing things worse

[thefirstknife]

(This is a theory based on the previews shown for Prism and the most recent TWID, so there may be other recent official communications that I've missed and should consider, apologies if that's the case)

Prism looks really fun but also seems like a significant jump forward in terms of powercreep, and especially the exotic class items, seem like they'll be a long-term balancing nightmare. The impression I got from the showcase reveal was that previously, it was an idea that got shelved as being not great for the long-term balance of the game, but then was brought back online in response to underwhelmed backlash.

Similarly with the Brave Arsenal, it feels like they looked at the perk pools and said 'screw it, let's make them all obscenely juiced up' again a jump in powercreep, and they don't seem to be overly concerned about that right now.

Today's TWID said that legacy gear will be re-enabled for infusion, undoing the last current mechanical implementations of sunsetting, and that a lot of it will be re-introduced and rebuilt for the current sandbox.

We're on the way back to a sandbox where everything goes, in a game world that seems broader than it was when the DCV was introduced, with way more power than we had before with 3.0 classes and weapons with ability verbs. Looking just at the PvE side of things, it seems to me like the game is going to be in the same state it was when Luke Smith announced the huge changes in Beyond Light. (We also keep getting more vault space when they had told us not to expect more vault space)

I see this as a path with 2 branches on it. The first is they aren't worried about powercreep because the game is not 'bloated' the same way it was when they developed Beyond Light i.e. it's not a nightmare to keep a laundry list of activities balanced against guardians more powerful than we imagined we ever would be. Prism will have a rough patch but come in-line with everything else within 6-8 months. Gear will also get equalized again via consistent tweaking. Episodes will continue the story in cool ways, new gear will cycle between cool and less cool, more reprised raids/missions, maybe we get new permanent destinations, maybe another (or more) major expansion in the future, but right now I expect Episodes will probably be a lot like what we've seen from the beefier seasons with custom locations and activities that wont be permanent.

The other branch is that they aren't worried about powercreep because some amount of time after the first 3 episodes, destiny 2 will go into stasis; playable but with no major updates or expansions while they work on Destiny 3, which will have another hard reset for character progress/gear. Destiny 2 stays free to play with a huge library of campaigns, raids, dungeons, and exotic missions but the 'gear chase' and all the 'forever game' mechanics get moved to destiny 3 or whatever it'll end up being called. This game will be built based on all the hard design lessons and problems they have had to crack for D1 and D2 with the expectation that they won't need to do this again for a D4 (and maybe they'll even be right).

Thoughts?

Honestly that sums up my thoughts on it too.

I know there's been talk about them allegedly already working on D3. I generally don't have a strong opinion about it; my personal only issue is the loss of all cosmetics. But outside of just me, I think D3 will do the same as D2 did, which is split the fanbase and piss everyone off. People will need an exceptionally strong incentive to be okay with restarting their characters once again, years after TFS, and to re-grind everything and wait years for the game to have more than vanilla content.

A lot of people think that D3 will somehow drop and magically be better in every aspect, but what they fail to realise is that it will take years, again, to populate the game with content. Like, D3 will launch with 1 raid and will have 1 raid for a year. We're used to a selection of much more than that. I can't imagine a lot of people will have the patience to wait 4-5 years for the game to have the same amount of options to play with. It's a big risk overall. Not to mention the cost of keeping both D1 and D2 still alive.

Anything is possible! These things are still years away from us so genuinely who knows what they're planning long-term. I do think that eventually they will have to move away and update the engine and probably stop supporting old gen consoles, purely for technical reasons.

As for the possible powercreep, I don't think it will be too much of a problem. As it usually is with any new abilities/supers, things will be wild at first, but probably reigned in fast. Same with unsunsetting; a lot of the old weapons are simply not that good anymore given their lack of updated perks. I'm more interested in them saying that they will reissue most if not all of the old stuff and update it to modern standards, but even then, we already have a lot of weapons. There's only so many types of legendary hand cannons to make feel unique and useful. Most of the old stuff will just be for nostalgia's sake. Still, it will probably super wild at launch and until things settle, but powercreep can be dealt with over time with changes and content being made to account for new options.

We'll have to wait and see! I am not opposed to the game being refreshed with a full restart, though I do have personal gripes that are mostly based on the fact that I really don't want to wait years to have my characters look like I want them to rather than wearing gear that doesn't fit my aesthetic because there's only 4 armours in the game. A new game will simply not have enough options for years to come and I think that a lot of players will be incredibly put off by having to start again. I'm not sure if they would risk this again, given how vanilla D2 went. But also, it's been so long since then so with all of the experience, maybe things can go better this time. Third time's the charm?

[infinitejourneysinfiniteworlds]

I post to this thing so sporadically I sometimes wonder why I have it. But honestly, it's nice to just put my thoughts out there again.

I have been reminiscing lately.

I had a LiveJournal back in the day. Yes, I am indeed that old. I still miss those days of writing about my day-to-day life, of putting my thoughts and feelings into... well, what were probably overly flowery words and purple prose (probably still a bit guilty of this, tbh), but it expressed what I was feeling. I miss the community, my friends, some of whom I had met in person. Miss the way we would interact, share our lives, our photos, our art and poetry and fiction and music, the magic and mystery and utter weirdness of our little lives. And oh, our lives were weird. Fantastically, gorgeously, improbably weird.

I think, in retrospect, I always believed in what is currently called reality shifting, in connecting to other timelines, even in fully moving into other timelines. To me, the worlds were... fluid, in a way. Not clearly delineated with human categorizations. No "Here is here, there is there, and there are naturally impenetrable borders between." It was all interconnected, interwoven, a whole that maybe a finite mind could see a small part of. Moving through the possibilities was like diving into a primordial ocean, swimming deeper and deeper until you reached what seemed to be a whole other world, but it was still The Ocean. It was still the whole. Separation was an illusion.

Did I shift back then?

Honestly, I think I did. I think I shifted in a subtle sort of way, aligning with a version of reality that I wanted to live in. And I think I shifted in a more profound sort of way, a more obvious sort of way.

I woke one night in the arms of a lover that had never before been physically present. That was a shift. I firmly believe that. It was fully physical. I could move. I could speak. My body had weight, mass-- hair stubble on my legs, which made me feel embarrassed and self conscious! He too was physical, tangible, though the composition of his body felt different to that of a human, solid but somehow less... physically dense. Which made sense, because he was not fully human.

My mind couldn't quite grasp it, and I wasn't fully grounded, so I slipped back a moment later. I now know I could have returned, could have stayed.

And the glitches. There were so many glitches in my reality. That is another whole post in itself.

I've always struggled with belief, with truly aligning and living within the world I want to live in until that is the world I am living in. That hasn't really changed, but I think I want to change that now.

Recently, in this world, I moved back into the house that was destroyed last year. It's the old house, but it's also new. Everything is new-- the walls, the floors, the plumbing, the wiring, the roof. Everything. But it's still the same house.

Last year, I decided that instead of falling into despair and giving up, I would hold on to the knowledge that my home would be rebuilt for free, and that it would be even better than it had been before.

Oh, I certainly had my moments. I cried ugly tears. I felt numb. I thought about how much I hated my life. But I always came back to that knowledge: the house will be rebuilt for free, and it will be better than it was before.

I held on to that like a lifeline.

And y'all?

That is exactly what happened.

A disaster relief group came in, tore down the house to the studs, and built it back up, using high quality materials. They did not charge us a penny. And it is beautiful.

And as I moved back in earlier this year, something in me renewed as well. I feel myself coming alive in ways I haven't felt for... so, so long. And I feel ready to embrace my new reality-- a reality of my choosing.

Magic is real. I know because I am magic.

[creata-r2]

The Ghost of a Past I Didn’t Choose

It’s been eight years. Eight years since I broke free, since I took my first breath outside the cage you built around me. Eight years since I started to reclaim myself, piece by piece, from the ruins you left behind. And yet, even now, when I should be untouched by the memory of you, I catch myself thinking about you. Not in longing. Not in love. But in curiosity...the kind that lingers like a dull ache in an old wound. I wonder how your life turned out. If you ever faced the weight of your own actions. If the world ever handed you back even a fraction of the pain you poured into me. You were the one I thought was safe. The one I trusted. And somehow, you twisted that trust into chains so tight, I forgot what it felt like to move freely. You took my essence, stripped me down until I was just a shadow of the person I used to be. I looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize myself...not my thoughts, not my dreams, not my voice. You made me doubt my worth, my strength, my sanity. And the worst part? I let you. I believed your lies because I thought you wanted what was best for me. But what you wanted was control. What you wanted was for me to shrink, to fit into the version of me that served you best. And for too long, I did. I let myself be shaped by your hands, until I wasn’t even mine anymore. And then, one day, I left. Maybe not all at once. Maybe I had to fight for every step, every breath, every shred of identity I could salvage. But I did it. And now, I am here. I am better. I have rebuilt myself from the ashes you left behind. Yet, on quiet nights, I still find myself wondering...does life still bend to your will, or did it finally push back? Did you find someone else to break, or did the world finally teach you what it feels like to be the one shattered? I’ll never know. And maybe that’s for the best. Because while you still haunt the corners of my thoughts, you no longer define me. I am not who I was when you held me down. I am more. I am free.

[ownmyvoice]

Piece of advice for the next days:

Pile 1:

Ok, this pile indicate that you need to take some time alone, and somehow rebuilt a relationship with yourself. To me here, the 7 of swords indicate that you are too hard on yourself, you need to regulate your thoughts. Write that down or say it out loud and record it and listen later. You will realise that you can't keep going like that. It's a terrible habit, be gentle to yourself. Just take some time alone and do nothing for 1 day or 2, and do not feel guilty for it. I think that there is a whole mess around you, seek for quietness.

Pile 2:

There is homework or maybe at work you need to check the details. Review everything before send over before saying you done. You might think that everything it's alright, but last verifications won't hurt. (Put that file on a usb key on different format for example.)

Pile 3:

I think you are going to fight, or currently fighting with a family member, a masculine energy, someone whose is controling and a bit all over the place. He has the tendency to think that he knows better than you, is not the case here. Move in silence my friend.

Don't share your dream or desire with this person, he's going to try to win over you even if it's insignificant. I think it's the type to enjoy seeing you disapointed. Hope that you find some answers.

Thank you for reading, hope it help. Good night, good day.

[spongebobafettywap]

Hi I'm a Mystique fan. I feel like I'm part of a small minority here but I absolutely hate what they did to her in the new origins.

Like the Draco had her be easily tricked, heartbroken, used as a womb but at the end of the day she chose herself to get back at Azazel by nearly killing Kurt after his birth took everything from her and put her in grave danger at a rather vulnerable moment of her life (she just went through excruciating labor and right after that got chased by a mob for hours). She then went on and rebuilt herself, choosing on her own to never think about either of them again, and happily raised a child with the love of her life after meeting once again, being given some peace at long last.

These new origins had her be easily tricked even harder, even more heartbroken, used as a Goddamn printer and semen syringe by Destiny, hoe herself with people she wasn't even interested in or picked herself, build her entire hopes up of raising this child with the love of her life, expose herself as a mutant after "just seeing kurt", knowingly be put in direct danger by Destiny with a mob while she was trying to save their child, tricked into abandoning their child that apparently only she wanted, weeping alone by a cliff after doing some useless back and forth between a tree and a castle for someone who turned out to have bailed on her, spend 5 years tracking down Destiny to get back at her only to give that up because she chose to let her talk, presented Rogue as a consolation prize by the very person who tricked her into raising a child together in the first place, given the lamest explanation and excuses under the damn sun to justify everything (which with only a lick of knowledge on the situation would have made her realize those were more lies), convinced to forget about it with a full mind wipe she only agreed to do partially, .... She then went on to unknowingly remain with what could be best described as her life long abuser, devoting herself fully to her, placing her on a pedestal and as her main priority contrary to any children she's had even the one she raised, do everything in her power to resurrect her back to life and go back to doing exactly everything the same as before her death, be forcefully mind controlled by a telepath after said abuser gave the okay for him to do that if she didn't follow her along after she's shown some reservations and aversion to her last demands, go on to loudly mention her abuser as the other mother of the child said mother abandoned and chose to completely forget about... in the middle of active gun fight with their enemies aka for no damn reason (Kurt : "[Mystique] is my mom.", Mystique : "One of your moms!"), ...

I can't believe I'm saying this of my own volution but if I had to pick the better poison, I'll take the Draco.

Some people argued with me that through these new origins, Mystique had been given her agency back but ? I don't see how or where that is the case ?? Seems like she lost more of it and got left with none ???

Might be missing something here, maybe you can see something I don't ? What do you think ?

I'm guessing its a case of they for some reason like Destiny more so if she does more manipulative stuff they let it slide. They have some type of view where they have a higher tolerance for manipulative things women do compared to men. Or they let it slide because Mystique was in a long term relationship with Destiny. Or the other thing is they somehow think this whole thing adds to Mystique and Destiny's relationship... Nightcrawler being related to Destiny a character he barely has any dialogue with.. lmao. Honestly even if you hate the Draco at least it wasn't full of mindwiping retcons and more of "wow well you know everything of Kurt's life was planned!" It's also so bizarre that Xavier now apparently knew of Kurt's existence since he was a baby and at no point did he think "huh maybe i better reach out to this mutant kid who doesn't look like other humans"

[skaruresonic]

It’s not "schizoposting" if you’re replying to other people talking about Ian Flynn.

The term itself is ableist.

I'm not schizophrenic; I have garden-variety depression and anxiety. But even if I were schizophrenic, that wouldn't make it okay to act like I'm frothing at the mouth for stating opinions on my own blog.

I've noticed this habit amongst stans: they'll paint you as mentally unwell in order to discredit you. We've been called "conspiratorially insane" and "retarded" before. I've been told to seek therapy for being angry at the harassment I received. Hell, Kyle once told Greeny "I hope you get better soon" in response to her pointing out that Metal stated he rebuilt his body with his own two hands in the Metal Overlord fight, something that contradicted a claim Flynn made. It's just our old buddy ad hominem again, but ableism flavored.

And it's like, yeah, I am mentally unwell, no shit Sherlock, you've cracked the code. But regardless, I can still be mentally unwell and make a valid point. It's not like the mental illness completely short-circuits my ability to think.

Apropos of nothing, while I'm at it: people get really touchy if you say anything that can be skewed as "Flynn lies" or "Flynn is a liar," to the point of making sweeping grandiose claims that they'll automatically lose respect for you if you insinuate as much. (Which ofc begs questions of why.)

Lying isn't some binary yes/no type of thing. People can lie partially, lie out of ignorance, lie by omission, lie by implication, lie by obfuscation, or lie in spirit but not in letter. Not all falsehoods are capital L Lies, but by the same token, that doesn't mean they're no longer falsehoods. People can bend the truth without breaking it. Flynn projects a certain image by being noncommittal to the point of obfuscation. It's called talking out both sides of your mouth: where you say a lot of things that seem to address the question without actually having answered the question.

He doesn't lie outright. That's why I said it's annoying, because in a way it'd be easier to put his claims on blast if he were.

Instead, he drowns out the truth with verbiage. He hems and haws and doesn't offer a clear answer but instead usually winds up giving a sort of verbal equivalent of a Rorschach test so that he has plausible deniability in case his employers ever press him on his claims. Notice, however, that despite how tied his hands are, and despite knowing how people take his word dead fucking seriously, he seldom passes up the opportunity to run his mouth.

For example, "Eggman never, ever has a solid plan." The quote whose infamy earned it a spot on a TV Tropes page. He said it with his full chest, too, one of the rare answers that left no room for misinterpretation. Yet when someone relayed his own words back to him roughly a month later, he couldn't remember having said them, implying he either didn't really believe what he had said or else he has a poor memory.

More interesting than that, though, is when he proceeded to add, "But if I did [put it like that], then I was wrong."

IF I did. As if the existence of the words he recorded for the entire world to hear and posted for online posterity is debatable.

That's the kind of thing that skeeves me out at the end of the day. When you get caught in 4K and somehow it's others' ontological reality that must change to fit your presupposed narrative, not the other way around. And by that, I mean it would be somewhat easier to overlook if the matter began and ended at simple ignorance---but it's this constant evasion of blame and the underlying revisionism that creeps me out.

Flynn looks like he's admitting he's wrong while also casting subtle doubt on the notion that he said what he did. It's not just an "oops, guess I misspoke" or an "oops, guess I forgot" kind of thing, either. He pulls this sort of rhetorical trick all the goddamn time.

I'm personally on the fence about whether he does this deliberately or if it's the unfortunate byproduct of being a poor communicator: I feel like subconsciously, some part of it may be, given how BK built its name on speaking on behalf of Sega while simultaneously allowing him a platform to not-so-subtly shittalk them behind their backs. At this point I find it hard to imagine he's not doing this without some sort of agenda in mind.

And this isn't even getting into all the times he's been caught in blatant contradictions, which wouldn't be nearly so bad if everyone didn't take the man's word as gospel.