#and then not negative but we went to a ball and they were trying to recruit me to their houses 😋😋😋😋

[chuuphic]

guys being sexy is so hard leave me ALONE

[idkdudethisisntpermanent]

Keep Your Eyes on Me

tara carpenter x female reader

summary: You’ve quickly become close with all of Tara’s friends, but her trust issues keep her at a distance from you. But maybe you're able to chip away at her defenses...

word count: 2.2k

————

"I don't get why no one else is suspicious of her!" Tara exclaims looking around at everyone with a frustrated expression. "Mindy? You're literally suspicious of every living thing. And Sam what the fuck, you don't let me leave the house unless I'm carrying a cross bow or something," she exaggerates rolling her eyes.

"Why are we speaking about me like I'm not here?" You whisper to Chad next to you while ripping your string cheese into strands. He laughs but so does everyone else, seems like your whisper wasn't as quiet as you thought.

Tara groans frustrated and heads up the stairs, leaving her friends and you in the living room in an awkward silence.

Sam was the first to break it, "She'll come around, it's just been hard on her you know? Trusting new people and all that fun stuff."

You give her a nod completely understanding the root of Tara's issues with you, it wasn't personal but that didn't mean her distrust in you didn't sting. Especially considering it's been four months since you met the group.

"I am curious though," you speak, "She's not wrong Mindy, you're sus of everyone. And Sam why do you trust me too?"

"Well you met my brother playing pickle ball," the twin speaks. "Pickle ball doesn't really strike me as a psychopathic killer activity," she laughs.

"Neither does string cheese. Can you imagine Ghostface stringing their cheese and eating it?" Sam adds with a laugh.

You don't know whether to be relieved or offended that your habits don't indicate you to be a killer. But you're grateful that the rest of the group clicked with you quickly after Chad introduced you to them.

The core four minus Tara sometimes wanted to smack the girl across the head for being so oblivious and blind to you. Before you met the group Chad being the yapper that he is, explained all that happened in the past year and a half, so you were fairly well equipped with knowledge on how to navigate a friendship with everyone.

Everyone also noticed how attentive you were to Tara especially.  You didn't know what it was but you immediately developed a soft spot for the girl when Chad told you all she went through. Meeting her for the first time you instinctively felt the need to protect her but that's been quite hard with her negative feelings towards you, but that doesn't mean you don't try.

————

Sam eventually goes up to Tara's room once everyone leaves and decides to put an end to this.  The younger Carpenter looks at her sister from her bed when the door is opened at a speed where its hinges could fly off.

"Jesus Sam, why are we trying to break my door."

"What the hell are you doing Tara?" Sam gets to the point ignoring the question.

"What are you talking about?"

"Y/n."

"Ughhhhhh!" She turns around face planting into her pillow with a groan, hating the topic of you.

"It's been four months and you haven't once given the poor girl the benefit of the doubt." The sister says softly. "I don't know why you're so keen on hating her, it's like you want her to be Ghostface just so you can prove a point."

Tara turns around to respond, clearly annoyed.  "Because it's so clear she doesn't have good intentions!  I don't get you either sis, you want me to be cautious of people, but it's a problem when its Y/n?"

Sam sighs moving to sit on the foot of the bed, "Tara, do you not see how much that girl cares about you?"

Tara is silent and looks down at her fiddling hands not knowing what to say.  She does know how much you care and she hates it.

All those times you would come over to her place with the excuse of "Mindy sent me to grab something" but you always stayed until Sam got home from work, just so she wouldn't have to be alone.

"Clearly you do realize how much she cares for you," Sam says taking notice of her sister's silence and demeanor.

Tara turns red recalling how you would always be attentive to the leg that Ghostface broke a year ago.  You would always position yourself so she'd have access to the railing of a staircase. Offer to drive her places that may have seemed like too lengthy of a walk. Straggle behind the group when you realized she couldn't walk as fast as the others. And even deprive yourself of any physical activities that the group was participating in, so Tara wouldn't feel alone when she sat out.

"The damn girl literally sits in the kitchen whenever your hungry ass wants to cook something so you'd feel safer!" Sam suddenly says. "Even I hadn't thought about how being in the kitchen may give you PTSD."

Tara hadn't either. But now that she knew the reason why you'd sit with her in the kitchen, she realized that she did feel much more comfortable with you in there then the times you weren't. After all she did have her attack take place in the kitchen. The brown eyed girl shrunk into her sweater in shame as she recalled how poorly she treated you that day.

You leave the group who were playing an intense round of charades in the living room and decide to join Tara who was alone in the kitchen.

"Hey what are you making?" You smile.

She ignores you and continues to get the seasoning out for the mac and cheese she was making herself.

"Why aren't you playing with everyone else?" Tara suddenly spoke.

"Just wanted to see what you were up to."

"Well you can leave now," she rolls her eyes.

"I'm good, I'll stay here."

"You do know that you aren't winning any points with me by trying to talk to me and forcing proximity right?" Tara says with attitude. "I still don't trust you and if your goal isn't to kill me, but just to get in my pants, then I'm so sorry if I ever made you believe that you had a chance with me." she finishes sarcastically feigning a genuine apology.

"Not my goal," you reply keeping it short. You knew the girl would not receive anything you say, so you got up from the seat you initially took at the island in the kitchen and went to the dining table which was a little further away. Tara thought that you left since she didn't hear any comments from you anymore and her pride was too high for her to turn around and check if you were still there. She couldn't control the frown that was making its way onto her face. That was until she heard you scrolling through TikToks at the table and suddenly felt a sense of relief that couldn't be explained.

She would continue to finish her mac and cheese and tried to hide her laugh from any funny TikTok sounds she heard from your phone. And tried her hardest to shutdown her curiosity whenever she heard your laugh. As soon as she finished making her bowl, she walked out of the kitchen not even glancing at you. She was too stubborn to realize that she hadn't once thought about her attack due to your presence in the kitchen.

Until now.

"That's why I trust her Tara," Sam reveals. "She notices things that I don't. I can't always be watching out for you. You need to have a bunch who have your back, and for that to happen you need to take a chance on people here and there."

"Just think about it. Just separate your idea of Y/n being Ghostface and the possibility that she can betray you. And ask yourself what kind of person is left standing in front you. And is that the type of person you want to take a chance on."

————

Two weeks have gone by since the group last saw each other, and since then you and Tara were able to do a lot of individual thinking. Today the group decided that they went too long without seeing each other and they all decided to go to bar in downtown Manhattan.

Everyone decided to meet at the Carpenter residence, and Tara hated to admit it, but she was excited to see you, but she also felt nervous at the thought of being around you.

You were the last to arrive, and you greeted all your friends with a smile. Tara was waiting with a smile for you to greet her like you always do, but it never happened.

You ignored her.

"Is everyone ready to go?" You say looking at everyone except Tara.

The shorter girl had to compose herself before anyone realized that she was bothered by your lack of acknowledgement. She didn't know how to feel, what in the world were you doing?

The group made their way to the subway in one piece, and the two Carpenter sisters were walking side by side while everyone else was a little ahead.

"What the fuck is Y/n doing?" Tara whisper yells to her sister.

"What do you mean?" Sam replies playing stupid.

"She's not even looking at me?" Tara admits, not caring at how childish she sounds. "Why isn't she paying attention to me?"

Sam laughs at what two weeks of not seeing you and some deep reflection has done to her sister. "I mean what do you expect, it's not fair for her to keep trying for someone who doesn't make the same effort. She's probably done trying." Despite her words, Sam didn't believe a thing she was saying, she wondered what the intentions behind your actions were, but the Carpenter knew it was nothing ill.

Tara makes a hmpf sound, and tries to act unbothered by her sister's words. But the idea of you not having your gaze on her worries her more than she would like to admit.

Meanwhile 20 paces in front the sisters you and the twins are having a interesting conversation of your own.

"I can't do this anymore!" You whine looking at Mindy.

"Girl, stand the fuck up, it's been 20 minutes since we left the house, can't you see that it's already working?"

Chad chimes in, "Honestly I agree with my sister for once, she'll be yours by the end of today."

"W-whoa I don't want her to be mine or anything," you blush. "She's gone through a lot, I just need her to tolerate me, you know?"

Mindy rolls her eyes but smiles, happy that Tara has someone patient like you in her life. "Yeah yeah Y/l/n, now walk faster, it's not like she can run and catch up."

Your jaw drops while Chad drops dead in laughter.

Everyone manages to get onto the same subway cart in one piece, and you realized how much harder it was going to be acting like you can't notice Tara in here. The subway was packed from one end to the other. And you just so happened to be standing next to the only available seat.

You glance at Tara only to see her already looking at you and you immediately look away. Trying to get Mindy's attention you some how try your best to mime to her that you want Tara to sit in the free seat. Though of course Mindy's horrible charade skills translate into real life and she ends up sitting in the seat herself.

You face palm at your friend, and gave up on trying to look out for Tara. But in that very moment you notice a man getting far too close to the girl than you would like. It was a crowded cart so proximity was a given, but this seemed deliberate on the stranger's part.

Acting without thinking, you shove the guy as casually as you can to the side, not realizing that it meant you are now face to face with Tara. Just as you were about to break and speak to her, the subway doors open at your stop.

Tara hated that the doors interrupted the words you were going to say to her, but was grateful that it got her attention off of you before you could notice the blush on her cheeks.

As everyone got off the subway, you find yourself straggling behind the group out of habit. Just as you attempt to quicken your pace, you feel a tug on your sleeve.

Tara looks up at you with her big eyes, and you don't know what to do. This is the first time the girl has looked at you without rolling her eyes or looking away immediately.

"I'm sorry," she mutters.

You didn't know what to say, and continue walking with her by your side, so you don't fall too far behind from your friends. "It's okay," you mutter back looking straight ahead. 

You don't blame the girl for her behaviours.  Her traumas manifested into something difficult and she was making an attempt to be better. That's all that mattered to you. And maybe you were just too weak for the girl that you would let anything slide, but you were fine with that too. 

Tara smiles at you, happy that you weren't giving her a hard time. Happy that you understood what those two words she just told you encapsulates.

Suddenly she grabs you by your arm and holds it as you walk side by side.

Startled by her touch you look at her.

She smiles up at you, "It's easier for you to keep your eyes on me this way. No need for secret glances."

[drchucktingle]

POUNDED BY DR. GLOBUS

wanted to post today about recent health journey of chuck. ALL STARTED at texas show when i began to feel tightness in throat. i have learned this is called GLOBUS which is a tingler character name if ive ever heard one. got through appearance and had blast but felt terrible

plane journey home was even worse. first thought i strained my voice, then tested for covid (negative) and then figured it was just some kind of virus. had running nose and hoarse and extreme pain behind face and MOST of all this golf ball throat

figured i would get better as viruses tend to go but I DID NOT. after a few weeks went to way of urgent care and they took one look and said you have EXTREME FORM OF ACID REFLUX called laryngopharyngeal reflux (also great tingler character name)

basically this is when your stomach acid comes all the way back up into your throat and erodes it. they immediately put me on medications name of pepcid plus tums plus gaviscon and on and on. was inhaling a dang pharmacy every morning

problem is, NO CHANGE. in fact it started getting worse. in addition to previous symptoms i now couldnt keep any food down. upset stomach all the time. could barely sleep. plus it is scary to have a sickness that gets WORSE over time like this

more doctor talks. i up doses of medication to combat sickness but does not seem to work. one night wake up and think 'dang i need to go to er my stomach is going to just melt or something' (keep in mind because i cant keep food down i am always hungry too).

i go to hospital and they say 'WHOA we need to intervene right now we are doing some tests and putting you on SERIOUS LIFE CHANGING MEDICINE. but here is catch to do the tests we need you to stop all your medication for 48 hours and it will be HECK but you gotta do it bud'

so i stop all medication in preparation for new SICK LIFE and suddenly… i start feeling better. not just a little but after weeks of this awful way i wake up in ONE DAY and feel fully cured. now heres twist: at the same time this was happening I started taking allergy medicine

you may already know where i am going with so i will just hit you with it. my INITIAL SICKNESS was just extreme seasonal allergies that required nothing more than claritin and flonase. however i was misdiagnosed with ACID REFLUX and medication was making my stomach a wasteland

the second i stopped taking acid reflux meds and started on allergy trot i was better almost instantly. today i feel HECKIN GREAT. (SIDE NOTE: after 4 years of chronic pain i am so thankful to not have some OTHER long term health trot to deal with. DANG)

so what is lesson here? first of all please do not think this is in ANY WAY anti-doctor rant or anti-medicine. my doctors were trying their best and made a mistake, they are just people. ALSO while acid reflux medicine made me sick, allergy meds made me better. i am SO fortunate

but what is REALLY fortunate is that chuck is covered under SWEET BARBARAS HEALTH CARE (she gets very good coverage under the frozen lake). most artist buckaroos, even WILDLY successful ones, do not have health care which is huge issue that should be talked on more.

point is EVERYONE should have healthcare. this whole adventure was bad, but it also only cost me 50 dollars. hundreds of thousands of other buckaroos would have to deal with this PLUS it would completely upend their life to cover medical expenses because of a SIMPLE MISTAKE

so that is my story, usually there is more of a lesson to these rants but this one is really just ‘dang what a trip.’ so grateful for my health and my way and the fact i can get simple allergy medicine over the counter. most of all THANKFUL FOR MY BODY it is such a treat to exist

thank you for reading and remember to advocate for yourself and your feelings both BODY and MIND at the doctor. listen to your trot and do not forget that LOVING YOURSELF AND THE SYSTEMS OF YOUR BODY proves love just as much as loving others. trot on buckaroos

[xxlady-lunaxx]

Why do you cry? | {SabiGiyuu}

Theme: Slight angst to fluff<3

Note: can be taken as platonic or romantic :3

-Requested ;; sabigiyuu fluff

Tags: @kitkat-moon

×××

Sabito had always been the more confident one. He was sure of himself, he was stronger, both physically and mentally. So it seemed nothing could deter him and Giyuu found himself even insecure beside his best friend, wishing he could be like that. Giyuu cried often, he wasn’t as nearly as strong or fast as Sabito, sometimes he just wanted to curl up in a ball and hide away from the world. He figured Sabito had never wanted to do this before, had never felt so alone. He was seemingly always there to comfort, not to feel anything negative. Somehow, he always was raising Giyuu’s spirits, smiling for him even in the middle of the night when he woke up to Giyuu’s crying.

So it came as a shock, of course, to find Sabito hiding in the back, his knees drawn up to his chest and face buried in his arms. For a moment, Giyuu thought he was sleeping. What else could it be? But then, upon hearing his arrival, Sabito looked up. His face was streaked with tears and his hair was messy, sticking to his forehead from sweat; the weather was increasingly warm and they had been training earlier. Immediately, a hand darted up to rub at the lavender eyes, but it was already too late. Giyuu went over and crouched in front of him, eyebrows creased with worry.

“Sabito?” He didn’t know what to say. After all, he was accustomed to being the comforted, not the comforter. “Are you… okay?” Well that was easily answered. What was he supposed to say, though?

Sabito nodded slowly, turning his head. His cheeks were flushed slightly, but from crying or embarrassment, or the heat, it was hard to tell. “Yeah. Fine,” he mumbled. His voice was hoarse and it made Giyuu wonder just how long he had been here.

“Are you sure? You don’t look that great,” Giyuu said uncertainly.

Sabito let out a breath, then composed himself, raising an eyebrow at Giyuu’s direction. “Are you saying I look horrendous? Wow, Giyuu. Rude.”

Giyuu huffed, rolling his eyes. “No! You know what I mean!”

“Yeah, okay. Is it lunch? Why’re you here?” Sabito asked, covertly trying to change the subject. It backfired on him, unfortunately, because it only served as a reminder to Giyuu as to Sabito’s state.

“I don’t think Urokodaki-sensei is done with lunch,” he said. Then paused. “Why are you here, though? Why were you crying?”

“You know, Giyuu. You don’t just ask people that when they’re upset,” Sabito said pointedly.

“But you are upset, right? What’s wrong?” Giyuu asked, settling down next to him, crossing his legs and leaning his head back against the wall.

Sabito shifted to turn his back towards Giyuu, drawing his legs down and placing his hands flat on his lap. “No reason. Should we train before the food is ready?”

Giyuu frowned and scooted over to sit in front of him again. “Sabitooo, tell me what happened! You don’t usually cry!”

“Nothing happened! I’m fine!” Sabito said. Abruptly, he stood, making Giyuu tip back. He lent him a hand and Giyuu took it, standing as well. “Let’s train, okay?”

“No! Tell me why you were crying or I’ll tell Urokodaki-sensei!” Giyuu retorted, placing his hands on his hips and trying to look stern.

Sabito bit back a smile at the sight and shook his head. “It’s nothing, Giyuu.”

“Uhm, nothing isn’t you crying for the first time in your life!” Giyuu said defiantly.

“First time…?” Sabito asked incredulously. “Damn, that’s quite an assumption.”

Giyuu’s frown deepened. “I’m going to Urokodaki-sen-”

“Okay–” Sabito interrupted. He didn’t want their mentor to know he was going off hiding and crying, although he had a hunch Urokodaki would only be worried. “Okay, fine. But seriously, it wasn’t anything. I was just sad or whatever.”

Giyuu tilted his head to the side, his arms falling. “Sad about what?”

Sabito let out a breath. “Okay, not sad? Tired? I don’t know.”

“Oh. You should sleep,” Giyuu said matter-of-factly.

A bitter smile rose on Sabito’s face and Giyuu stepped back slightly. It was strange to see him like this, and the abnormality of it sent a small panic in the ravenette’s mind.

“It’s not that easy,” Sabito said. His voice was calm, but if Giyuu focused, he could hear a hint of contained exhaustion laced between the words.

“Why? Have you been training too much? Are you sore, or something?” Giyuu asked, confused.

“No! Just, like, tired of… living? I don’t know,” Sabito repeated, running a hand through his hair. The peachy waves slumped against his forehead, as if they were tired too.

“Wha–but, but Sabito, you told me that– You said I should– But– Why would?-” Words came tumbling from Giyuu’s mouth as he cut himself off several times, not knowing what to say. Sabito? Not wanting to live? What world was he in?

Sabito shook his head. “Okay, it’s not exactly that. I’m just tired of dealing with being alive, but it’s not like I actually want to die, that’s… no. I still want to save people and everything, but the road to that is getting exhausting and I guess it just all caught up to me.”

Giyuu nodded slowly, trying to take that in. “Okay… Good. Because you have to live! I couldn’t do a thing without you.”

“Well you can’t rely on me for everything,” Sabito said, pushing him playfully.

Giyuu stumbled back, shaking his head. “No, well, I won’t! I’m not! …wait, am I? But that’s not what I mean! You still help me just by being alive and like I know you’re safe,” he explained, trying to find the words to describe it.

“Oh. Awhh, so sentimental, Giyuu,” Sabito teased, a smile grazing his lips. He reached forward, pulling Giyuu into an awkward embrace. “Love you too.”

“Eh? Sabito!” Giyuu whined. “Anyway, you don’t have to cry ‘cuz… ‘cause I’ll, uhm, always be here,” he concluded stupidly.

Sabito laughed. “Well, aren’t I the lucky one. But in all seriousness, Giyuu, I do care about you. In case you haven’t noticed.”

Giyuu smiled. “I do too.”

“Okay, good, because I would be mad if you didn’t.”

“Huh? Really?”

“No. That was a joke.”

Giyuu glared at him, trying to get out of the hug. Urokodaki appeared, his head popping up from around the corner of the house.

“Lunch is ready! And what are you two doing here?” he asked, doing a double take.

They untangled themselves from each other.

“Nothing…” Sabito said quickly. “C’mon, Giyuu. I’ll race you there.”

He darted off and Giyuu, only just registering his words, shouted after him. “SABITO! THAT’S NOT FAIR!!”

Urokodaki sighed, though he bore a smile under his mask. “Don’t run inside the house!”

His order was met with a half-hearted, muffled, “SORRY!” from inside as he made his way back to the front.

×××

« Word count: 1170 »

Ok that wasn’t necessarily mostly fluff but… shhh..

[hellishjoel]

tequila!

6k / pairing: linecook!frankie x waitress f!reader

Series Masterlist l Previous Chapter

summary: a night off and some well deserved drinks put you and frankie in the same spot on a friday night. 

warnings/information: MA 18+ (minors DNI), food and alcohol consumption, intro to triple frontier friends, reader is mentioned having hair and wearing perfume, swearing, pet names (princess), jealousy, angst, hot girls cry in the bathroom, smut, fingering (f! receiving), cum eating, discussions of men being douchebags. if I missed anything, please let me know!

A/N: it’s been since halloween! how are we doing?! here’s more frankie and princess figuring out their shit and actually communicating! can we get a round of applause? thank you to @undercoverpena for the emotional and plot support! thank you to @saradika-graphics for the dividers!

follow hellishfics and turn on notifications to see the next time I update!

The town was small, but you guys knew how to kick it. 

Pool balls clattered, people cheered, and butts of beer bottles clinked in celebration. 

This was exactly what you needed, a night off and a fucking drink. 

You tried to tell yourself that your spat with Frankie a month ago hadn’t taken its toll on you, but he was plaguing your thoughts. The fastest way to forget your inhibitions? To forget Frankie? 

Tequila.

Sideways was known for breaking health code violations and overserving its customers. Despite their negative Yelp reviews, they were the only bar in town packed on this Friday night. 

You were two and a half drinks in with your girlfriends, the ones you never get to see from working late shifts. They were sweet and funny as hell. They were the pick-me-up that you really needed after what happened with Frankie.

It was still sitting in the back of your mind, playing on a loop like Christmas songs do in the winter. 

“What do you want from me, huh?” 

“I don’t know.”

Heat scorches your throat, burning and scraping at the inside as you accept a shot from a stranger. Not your smartest decision, but you suppose you haven’t been making a lot of those as of late anyway. 

Just as you take a deep sigh, you see it. That stupid hat and nest of dark curls accompanied by broad shoulders. What was Frankie doing here? 

You try to drop your head, avert your gaze, but it's pointless. The moment your eyes meet, time warps into slow motion. His usual honey-brown eyes look oaky-brown in the low light ambiance Sideways provides. His face softens at the sight of you, taking you in. Even as he walks past your small table, his head cranes to keep you in sight. 

Then his friends slap his back and keep him moving, their large and loud group weaving through the sea of strangers. And it’s over. He’s gone, probably somewhere tucked in the back of the bar ordering drinks. Time returns to its normal pace, and the loud hum of drunk twenty-somethings returns. 

“Jeez, Fish, that’s like the second bullseye tonight.” Frankie’s friends playfully clap with mustaches tickled with white foam from their beers. 

Frankie shrugs a shoulder, glances at your table, sees your pretty smile and the way your hair swishes before his eyes return to the dart board. An angry huff leaves his lips before he raises his arm, eyes narrowed on the dart board a good seven feet away from him, before he releases the dart like a lightning fast whip and he sinks it right into the center. 

His friends howl, a little smile on his lips at their approval. 

“Make that three!” One chimes in. “He’s hot tonight, folks! Get’em while he’s hot!” 

Despite being with his friends and cheap alcohol, Frankie didn’t feel very happy. Not after what went down after the last time he saw you. And now, you were here, which was making the pistons in his brain fire a whole lot faster. He wonders what happened, why you threw up your hands that night and pushed him away. 

Work has been hell trying to avoid you. Nothing more than giving him orders and brushing past him with your pretty smelling perfume that has put him in a trance since the first day he started at the diner. Now you were here, huffs of people in between you two, and he could still pick out the sweet blossomy smell he considers to be your own.

“I need a fucking drink,” Frankie mutters, plucking the darts from the board as he slaps them in the hands of his buddy for his turn. 

Frankie pushes through people to the bar, gently rapping his knuckles against the dark wood of the bar for a beer. His head dips down to look for his wallet, pulling it from his back pocket. The last thing he expects when he looks up is… not you. 

“Do you know that girl or something?” Your friend nudges, eyes still locked on the glowing redhead who had approached Frankie at the bar. 

“No.” You mutter, sucking in at the side of your cheek as you watch her put the moves on an adorably awkward Frankie. 

“You sure seem to act like you know her, you won’t stop staring.” She teases before she’s distracted by one of your girlfriends spilling off her barstool. 

All you can see is the way she blocks your view of Frankie, doing all the typical flirtatious moves you can get away with when you’re hot. Twisting her hair around her finger, smiling at Frankie like he was the funniest guy in the world, leaning into his front. She had a gorgeous body, tight waist, glowing smile, and a huge fucking rack she purposely accentuated when she threw her head back in laughter. 

First off, you hate the way she looks at him like he’s already hers. Second, when did Frankie become so goddamn funny?

You huff out a sigh and throw back another tequila shot as soon as it’s delivered. 

Jealousy wasn’t your thing. Frankie just knew how to pinch your fucking nerve. It’s so fresh still, you know? Now here he was, talking to another girl. Part of you feels like you deserve it. You cut him loose, there were no more strings that tied you two together. So why did you feel like this? Angry, annoyed, sad. Jealous. 

Fuck that. 

“Another tequila?” The bartender perks up upon seeing you nudge your way to the front of the bar’s counter. 

You give him a tight nod and a blank mhm leaving your mouth, leaning over the counter as you wait. 

His cologne shatters your thoughts. “Hey.” 

You look up to see Frankie has turned away from his girl, eyeing you over. You couldn’t deny how good you looked tonight, taking advantage of your one night off to wear something that accentuated your figure. 

And it was catching more eyes than Frankie’s. The woman beside him glares at you as if you took her favorite toy on the playground, as if she had dibs. 

You hate to admit that your eyes drift as well, a certain sexually charged energy between you both. His classic khaki jacket and ballcap accompanied by a dark wash pair of jeans. His stupid hands are stuffed in his stupid pockets, and his stupid chocolate curls curve up toward the brim of his hat. 

Frankie’s eyes fell to your sweet neck, then to the curves of your body, your mouth going dry at the way he was drinking you up. 

“Hey,” you muster up, giving him a tight-lipped grin as you nod as a greeting. 

You want him. He looks so fucking good tonight. But he already had a date going, you didn’t need to interrupt. You nip at your lower lip and force yourself to stare elsewhere. 

“Rum and coke, please, Frankie,” The woman coos, an attempt to stray Frankie’s attention from you. She’s obviously seen the way he looks at you, both of you practically eye fucking each other right in front of her. You kind of got a kick out of getting under her skin, though. 

“Hi,” you say as you reach your hand past Frankie, offering the woman a handshake and your name. “I work with Frankie.” 

She gives you a snotty little hmph, nodding tightly instead of shaking your hand. 

“I’ll meet you at the table with my drink.” She insists to Frankie, leaving the two of you on your own, but not without a squeeze to his broad arm and a certain look in your direction. 

“Wow,” you fake applaud, “she’s a real keeper, Frankie. No, really, I mean it. Didn’t know you had a thing for girls with tits bigger than their face.” 

“I just met her ten minutes ago,” Frankie mutters as he’s served his beer and the girl’s rum and coke, as well as your tequila shot being delivered. 

You try not to roll your eyes too obviously. “Well, she’s certainly all over you.” 

“What do you care?” He counters, finally facing you again, his eyes still lingering on your body for longer than you know he should. “You came up here to us, princess. If there’s something you wanna say, say it.”

A larger group comes in through the front door and pushes through to the bar, a light gasp leaving you as you’re shoved into Frankie, your fronts aligning. You feel his toned torso and smell his fresh cologne as his hand instinctually clutches your waist to keep you upright. 

Both of you take one another in again, not being able to fight the tension between you both that could be cut with a knife. 

The last time you were this close was Halloween. The last time he touched you was Halloween. Now, he was touching you again, and god, all you wanted was for him to flip his hat around, duck down, and kiss you. Kiss you hard, make up for all the time you had lost. 

Have you ever missed someone so much you feel physically sick? You had no idea how much your little talks in the kitchen meant to you until you forced Frankie to let you go. You had the overwhelming urge to run away, like he was too close, he would learn everything about you, and he’d leave after finding out you’re just a broken plate that can’t be glued together. 

You were unfixable. And Frankie was a fixer, down to his bones, and in his heart, he would try to mend you back together, only to be disappointed after many failed attempts. You wouldn’t put him through that, and more importantly, you didn’t want anyone to try. It would just hurt you more.

But you looked at each other a little too long to be just friends. 

If there’s something you wanna say, say it. 

I can’t. 

Frankie’s eyes sink as you throw back the shot, feeling the liquid burn your throat and then your chest again. This is what you’d rather feel than hurt. 

“Well,” you say, a bit raspy from the fresh alcohol. You gently push your hand into Frankie’s abdomen in an attempt to squeeze out from between him and a random drunkard, nails sinking into his toned torso. “Have a good rest of your night. See you at Tommy’s.” 

Your shoulders swivel back and forth as you carve through the bar to the rest of your friends, toppling over people to get back to your seat as you sigh defeatedly. God, why are you torturing me?

It’s an hour later, followed by two tall water glasses. Your friends have ordered some appetizers off the menu to soak up the alcohol. And because you were all damn hungry. Your eyes stray to Frankie’s table every few minutes. 

You couldn’t help it, you were overthinking. Was he looking at you when you looked away? Was he not looking at all, too into Miss Red? The more you thought, the more your chest felt like it wanted to give way. But you weren’t prepared for what you saw the next moment you looked up. 

Big Red decided to make her move, her long fingernail catching Frankie’s chin and swiftly guiding him to face her as she leaned in and kissed him. 

She kissed him, your Frankie, she kissed him. Put her pink lipstick on his mouth and marked him as her own. 

Goosebumps flood over your skin, eyes sinking as you watched helplessly from across the room.  Suddenly, it was all too much. The loud talking, the buzzing of people, the alcohol, her and him, it was all too much. 

Your feet find the floor before you can stop yourself, you feel like you might shed a tear in your race to the bathroom. You tug on the handle, and it’s locked. 

“Occupied!” Some snotty girl whines. 

“Hurry the fuck up,” you shout amongst the crowd of people to ensure she can hear the urgency in your voice. Your throat feels thick with wetness. 

Finally, the door opens, and the woman looks you up and down in annoyance. You don’t care. You put a hand on her shoulder to guide her out of the doorway, trying to push yourself in and close the door. Not before a familiar pair of thunderous boot steps echo in your ears. 

You let out a grunt as you attempt to slam the door, but you see a hand curve around the frame. He speaks your name, it’s Frankie. Your stomach falls, and you quickly shake your head, feeling angry tears threaten to spill. 

“Fuck off,” you say behind gritted teeth, attempting to use your body to finish closing the door. But he’s a hell of a lot stronger than you. 

“Come on, princess, open up, just wanna talk.” He pushes himself in, tall figure looming over yours as you look away with annoyance. He flips the lock and presses his hand above the wall you’re leaning back on. “What’s wrong?” 

Anger surges through your voice, planting your hands on his chest as you attempt to shove him away again. You find yourself confused when your own hands curl in on his shirt and bring him closer. “I told you to fuck off, I’m fine.” 

“You don’t look fine.” He says as his hands attempt to cradle your face, but you shove them down. 

“Then stop looking,” You quickly shake your head, the heat of his hands making your stomach churn. 

Suddenly, you don’t want to cry, you want to shout. 

“I saw you kiss her!”

Frankie’s eyes met your glaring ones, your lips parting as you let out panted breaths.

“I didn’t kiss her,” he starts to say before you interject. 

“I saw you! Why are you lying to my face?” You accuse, feeling your body flush with warmth as your hands gently push at his pecs. “Get away from me.” You mutter, but Frankie always returns despite how many times you push him away. 

“I’m not goin’ anywhere until you listen to me, okay?” Frankie goes to cup your cheeks again, but the warning look on your face makes him groan in annoyance and drop his head before he comes back up to look at you. “She kissed me, I didn’t kiss her back, and-and I didn’t want her, okay? I want you, I want you, I want you, goddamit, I want you!” 

You quickly shake your head, feeling your hoop earrings gently hit your cheeks. “No.” You whisper, feeling small under his gaze. And he’s looking at you again like you put the sun in the sky. You absolutely hate it in some ways, but he looks at you with such clarity that it makes your heart flutter. Like he knows his place is with you. 

“No, what?” He challenges. You find yourself fisting at his shirt, both in comfort and also a way to keep him at a distance. 

“No, you don’t want me, Frankie,” Your face is pinched in anger, eyes searching for his intentions. You watch as his face sinks at your words, hurt by what you’ve said. 

“How can you fuckin’ say that? How can you say I don’t want you? You don’t get to decide that for me, alright?” His voice is stern, eyes narrowed in on yours as he fills the space between you two, no matter if you take a step back, he’s right there on your toes. “I like you.”

“You don’t know me, not really,” You say.

“I want to, though. I’m scared as hell to want you, but here I am, telling you I want you anyway because that’s how much I care. I want you more than I fear the rejection on Halloween happening all over again.” 

All you can do is shake your head, feeling the mixture of angry sad tears start to melt at your eyes again. You hurt him so badly on Halloween, yet he was still here trying to say how much you mean to him. 

“Frankie,” your lower lip wobbles, straying eye contact. 

“No, listen to me, I’ve got more to say,” he says as he cradles your face once more, and this time, you don’t push him away. His beautiful brown eyes pour into your own, and you feel so drunk that he’s kissing your soul with his eyes. 

“I haven’t even missed you,”

“Bullshit, I know you fuckin’ miss me because I miss you.” He sees through all your lies, you feel transparent as he holds you close, backing you up against the sink as he strokes a thumb along your cheekbone. 

“No,” you start to say, shaking your head as tears cloud your vision. 

“No, no, no,” he mocks, “Is that all you can say?”

You despise how much your throat feels swollen, and your words sound thick with wanting to cry. “I just wanted you to fuck me, but then I got greedy, and I wanted you to love me, too. But that would be a waste of your time, Frankie, you need to listen to me.”

The admission felt like a dam breaking inside of you, and Frankie only pulls you closer. Suddenly, the buzz of everyone else outside the bar died down, and all you could think or hear was Frankie. 

“Loving someone is never a waste,” Frankie whispers. 

You playfully scoff and wipe under your eyes around his hand. “You don’t love me.”

“No, not yet. But I could. I know I could. Because this past month has been hell without talking to you. I don’t wanna walk around the diner, pretending like you don’t exist or that you don’t do something to me. You do everything to me, you are everything.” 

Frankie starts swiping away the tears you didn’t even know were falling, taking them away with the pads of his thumbs. 

“I think of you at two in the morning when I can’t sleep, you’re always the first place my mind runs to. You stayed over once, once, and my body just fuckin’ craves the way I got to hold you. It was addictive, how it felt to finally be close to you, when you finally let me in.” 

You force yourself to close your eyes and try to breathe, his words feeling like the powers a hurricane carries. Your shaky fists are still clutching his shirt at his sides, not willing to let him go after his confession. 

After you gather a few breaths, you meet his eyes. “Frankie, once you care, you’re fucked.” It’s a warning.

Now, he’s the one shaking his head. “I don’t believe that for a minute. I’ve cared for you ever since I started working at Tommy’s, and even more when you kissed me at the Christmas party last year.”

You playfully scoff and break a smile. “We were both drunk.” 

Frankie shrugs. “Yeah, and I wished I was sober so I could remember every bit of how good it felt. Now we’re almost a year later. It took me from December to August to make another real move on you, and I don’t want to let you go. Not after having the real thing. This feeling doesn’t just go away. I miss you.” 

You nip at your lower lip, goosebumps flying across your skin away. 

“I just don’t want to get hurt,” you whimper, your forehead gently leaning into the support of his large palms. Your glassy eyes make him melt. 

He hushes you gently, your voices growing softer the closer he comes to you. Your noses gently brush, making your wet eyelashes flutter. Frankie sighs before he speaks. “If you promise to stay, I’ll promise not to leave.” 

Frankie’s care for you was evident. You knew pushing him away was wrong, trying to save yourself only wounded you both. But what a waste it would be not to try with someone who was as good-hearted as Frankie. 

The douchebag you once knew was long gone. In fact, it feels like he started to drift away after last December. Because he had made up his mind a year ago that he wanted to be with you, and he would change for the better to make it happen. He’s been showing you all this time what you mean to him, that he wouldn’t hurt you. 

You must have left him hanging for too long because he parts his lips to speak your name. 

“Stop talking,” you whisper as you lean up and crash your lips against his. No more words needed to be said. 

You can feel Frankie’s cheeks perk up from his smile, both of your mouths upturned, happy to be in one another’s arms again. Being apart felt like a drought, and he was finally touching you. And both of you were fucking starved.

Frankie’s once soft movements turn greedy. As do yours. Hands are gliding over waists, teeth are tugging lips, and your core physically buzzes as Frankie flips his hat to face backward without breaking your kiss. Jesus Christ. His tongue glides against your bottom lip and you easily part your lips to grant the access he so desperately craves. 

“Lemme make it up to you,” Frankie mutters against your mouth, tasting remnants of his ale and he, your citrussy-lime tongue. 

“Please,” you beg. 

He doesn’t waste another moment, nipping at your bottom lip and making you mewl while his large palms find the back of your thighs. His strength makes lifting you look easy, gasping into his mouth as he sets you on top of the sink while his hands fasten on your waist once more. 

You push his hand towards the button of your jeans and he pops it open with one hand. 

“Fuck,” you moan out, jaw dropped as his hand pushes past the band of your panties, large fingers gliding down through your slick, then back up your valley. A breath catches in your throat, your back archiving off the mirror as Frankie takes the opportunity to bury his head into your chest, planting kisses along your breasts over your shirt. He eventually moves his lips up your body, across your sweet neck, to where he nibbles on your jawline. 

Your jaw drops against his cheek, your faces smooshed together as you feel his familiar stubble scrape against your soft skin. It’s like there’s a non-stopping rollercoaster in your mind, with his fingers moving up and down your soaking pussy, you can’t fucking think. 

A weak cry leaves your lips against the shell of his ear as he plunges two fingers into your entrance. You brace an arm around his shoulder and pull him into you, ensuring he keeps his damn fingers stay buried in your cunt. 

“Please,” you whimper, grinding your hips with vigor against his hand, his wrist rolling with you. 

“That’s it baby,” his silken voice purrs with praise, “let go for me.” 

You become completely pliant under his touch, under the lead of his fingers. He was already filling you up, you couldn’t imagine being filled up by the girth of his cock after a month without it. 

With two fingers inside of you and his thumb working sweet circles around your clit, you feel as if you might explode. He walks a line between kissing and sucking on your neck, the surface of your skin becoming clammy and raw. 

There’s a sense of safety in his arms, his tense bicep that’s hardened from the one that’s working up into you.

You barely acknowledge the knock on the door, forcing yourself to bite down onto Frankie’s shoulder and his jacket flap to keep yourself from spilling out loose moans. Loud music and even louder chanter is muffled by the door. 

“Fuck, fuck, Frankie-” you moan, mouth stuffed and jumbling your words. 

Frankie clamps his free hand over your mouth, guiding your head to rest back against the mirror once more, your hot pants fanning against his palm. 

“So fuckin’ loud, don’t remember you bein’ this loud for me.” He says with a wide cocky smirk. You will yourself to roll your eyes, but they end up staying at the back of your head as you continue to fuck yourself against his fingers. 

He curls them inside of you, your back arching as you feel your stomach swirl with excitement. Your small hands clench at his jacket, gasping shakily as your high nears closer. 

Your muffled moans stay concealed by Frankie’s hand clamped over you, letting your weak moans and cries land into his palm. It felt so good, the way your clit twitches under his control and his fingers work effortlessly to plunge deeper and deeper into your depths. 

There’s another incessant knock at the door. Fuck, there was no way to be quiet. 

Frankie smirks wider as your walls clench around his fingers, one long moan of his name landing muffled against his fingers as his eyes fixate on your own, spilling your orgasm across his fingers. 

“Good girl, just needed to get off, didn’t you?” He belittles.

You sigh weakly against his hand, hearing still fuzzy from feeling so over the moon. A slow, tired smirk grazes your lips as you playfully push his face away. 

“Such a douchebag.” You mutter, nipping at your lower lip while Frankie gently removes his fingers from your entrance. You feel empty, you hate it. 

Frankie raises his two fingers to your lips, your eyes studying the pretty cream he’s gathered amongst the mix of your slick. 

“Taste yourself, baby.” Such a fucking charmer. You can’t help the heat that gathers at the back of your neck, shyly leaning in and wrapping your lips around the tips of his fingers. You lock your eyes with his own as you flatten your tongue and hollow your cheeks, sinking your mouth lower and taking him to the knuckle. 

Your heart pounds thinking about his cock angrily twitching against his thigh, desperate for his own release. But he’s always put you first. And you always make his loyalty to you worth his while. 

Frankie’s cocky face slowly melts as you swallow around his fingers, lips parting as he looks over you in a sense of pride. 

Another damn knock on the door. More like an incessant pounding.

He forces himself to release his fingers from your mouth.

“What?” Frankie protectively barked, voice laced with annoyance. 

“Fish?” A voice called from the other side. One of his friends. 

He looks at you apologetically, grabbing you by your hips and lowering you off the sink.  His hands are already on the hem of your jeans,  and securing the button while you zip the fly and hurry to make yourselves presentable. 

Frankie puts his hand on the knob, ready to flip the lock. He feels compelled to kiss you one more time. He spins on the spot and cups your cheeks, meshing your lips together and pulling your chin up to face him. He savors it, lets his tongue tangle with yours to get that last taste of come on your tastebuds. 

He forces himself to let you go, finally opening the door. 

“Santi? What, man?” He asks in annoyance, seeing his friend on the other side. 

“Sorry, sorry,” he pauses to look past Frankie, to you, a sly little smirk on his lips after he’s put two and two together. “Listen, uh, Benny’s been arrested.”

Frankie shares a look of confusion with you. Frankie and Santi both stand there a little dumbfounded, unsure of what to do. 

“Well, come on, he can’t stay there all night. Let’s go.” You urge. It’s enough to snap the two out of their surprised trance. Frankie takes your hand and leads you towards the bar’s exit, pushing people aside with his arms and broad shoulders so no drunk asshole knocks you around in the crowd. 

You’re surprised to see his friend, who you’ve gathered is Santi, doing the same. It felt like you had two incredibly handsome escorts. Or maybe a better term would be guard dogs, pretty and sleek Dobermans. 

After saying goodnight to your friends and grabbing your purse, Santi catches up you both while Frankie drives his truck. 

“This drunk guy came up and started hitting on this girl he knows from.. somewhere.. I don’t know, but then he started getting all belligerent when she rejected him, and Benny stepped in. They started knocking each other around, it was so fuckin’ crowded in there, and I didn’t know where you went. Surprised you guys didn’t hear all the commotion.” 

You weren’t surprised you missed the whole fiasco. Frankie had you coming so hard that you saw Jesus Christ himself. 

“So, what?” Frankie prodded, annoyance laced in his voice as he drove over the bumpy road, glancing in his rearview mirror every few moments to see you. “The police got called and they both got arrested?”

Santi makes an affirmative humming noise, looking out the window as they pull up to the town’s police department. 

“Fuck,” Santi swears as he hops out the back of the truck. “I haven’t done this in a few years. Don’t remember how it goes.” 

You jump in before you can stop yourself. “We need to go in, ask for his name, and figure out what he’s being charged with. We pay his bail, he completes his release paperwork, and as long as he didn’t bad mouth any cops in there, we should be in and out, bada-bing-bada-boom.” You say as you clap-wipe your hands in demonstration of how painless this process should be. But Frankie and Santi still look starstruck. 

“Don’t ask. Let’s go.” You say as you hop out of the truck, the two men following suit. 

You imagined their friend Benny to be this mean, big, bad guy. But you guys didn’t see the way this man smiled upon seeing his friends come to pick him up. He was the definition of a Golden Retriever if we’re still speaking in dog lingo. 

Tussled dark blonde hair, big blue eyes, and a smile that would make any person melt. He just wasn’t what you were expecting when you heard that one of Frankie’s drunk asshole friends was arrested. Maybe you expected another stoner-type who didn’t give a fuck. You were wrong. 

“Arrested for defending a woman’s honor,” Benny scoffs as he digs his possessions out of a large envelope. You eye the way he delicately places his watch back on his wrist before bumming a cigarette from Frankie. The glow of the lighter illuminates his face a mute orange before the end of his cigarette caught blaze. Then you were all surrounded by the blue of a midnight sky again.

“What, like you wouldn’t do it again?” Santi teases, stuffing his hands in his pockets as the cigarette slowly made its way down the line to Frankie. 

“Fuck that, I’d do it again tomorrow if I had to.” He chirps with a laugh. “Fish, you should have heard the way this guy was badmouthing this woman, I mean, the most vulgar shit that came out of his mouth just because she wouldn’t let him buy her a drink.”

“M’glad I wasn’t there. There would have been two guys arrested tonight.” Frankie mutters, the cigarette passing from him to you. 

“Wouldn’t believe how often that shit happens.” You mutter before you take a drag. Benny leans forward to take a look at you, maybe just now realizing you were even here. 

“Yeah?” He probes for more as you slowly nod, tipping the ash off the end of the cigarette. 

“My friend was called a cunt last week after saying no to a guy wanting to sit next to her at the bar. He knew the seat was taken, our other friend just went to the bathroom. He purposely waited until she was alone to make a move.”

“No shit.” Santi hummed curiously. 

“Seriously. Called her a fat bitch, said he’d hope somethin’ really bad would happen to her. If I was there, I would have knocked his teeth in.” 

Benny slowly smiles, nodding proudly. “I have no doubt. Just wish you didn’t have to do that stuff in the first place.”

You sigh as you glance at Frankie, who’s looking at you with sympathetic eyes. But he knows you don’t really like it when he looks at you like that, so he quickly glances at his shoes. 

“Wait,” Benny whispers with a goofy grin. “Fish, is this the girl from the diner you always talk about?” 

Even in the dark of night, Frankie’s sweet glowy blush tints his face. Or maybe it was the alcohol, but he wouldn’t have driven if he was that out of it.

“Yeah, yeah, Benny, this is her.” 

“Oh shit, hi,” Bennys says as he stands in front of you and offers you his hand to shake. “I know this is kind of a bad start, gettin’ me out of jail and all, but I’m Benny Miller, nice to meet you in person. My guy here,” Benny pauses to playfully yank around Frankie’s shoulder, “he’s always tellin’ us stories about the diner. Can’t think of one you’re not mentioned or the star of the show.” 

The smile on your face can’t help but grow as you playfully eye Frankie who is being all too quiet. You hand Frankie the cigarette as a distraction, shaking Benny’s hand. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Benny. And trust me, I’ve met guys under worse circumstances. Like working with them at a diner.” 

“Oh, fuck off,” Frankie mutters playfully around the cigarette in his mouth. 

The whole group erupts into laughter, Benny and Santi both taking the opportunity to say their proper greetings and apologies for busting up your night with their friend. 

“I should probably get back to my brother.” Benny hums, motioning his head back to the bar’s general direction. “If he thinks I had to do another overnighter, I owe him twenty bucks.” He teases as you all start piling back into the truck. 

Frankie drops Santi and Benny back off at the bar, the entirety of the building shaking with applause and whistles to see that their noble heroes have returned. A very specific pretty blonde rushes up to Benny and thanks him with a kiss. 

“And he still gets the girl.” You hum, watching from the passenger side window. 

“He always does, that one.” Frankie teases, his hand coming over to rest on your upper thigh, thumb making gentle circles over your jeans. “Lemme take you home.” 

You swallow down a lump in your throat, gently resting your hand over Frankie’s. “Is home your apartment?” You ask, slowly raising a hopeful eyebrow as he nods. 

“Can be.” 

A nod to that, Frankie starts his truck down the road again. 

You need to tell him the truth, that this didn’t make you official. That you were still wary, trying to learn how to ride a bike again, sort of thing. 

“What?” He asks, knowing you’re thinking too loud in your head. 

You part your lips to speak but realize you shouldn’t feel bad about what you have to say. “I’m not ready for a full commitment. You’re not my boyfriend, Frankie, not yet. I just wanna take things slow. See if this is what we both really want.” 

The right side of Frankie’s mouth twitches up into a smile. “We’ll figure it out. If no label is what you want right now, I’ll wait.” 

You can feel your heart swell at his understanding. The last thing you wanted was for Frankie to start announcing to the world that you were dating. Not when you didn’t feel fully ready. You had bad relationship habits, ones you were ready to finally outgrow. But you didn’t want him to be subjected to your learning process. So you both could wait. 

Frankie’s hand rotates palm side up, fingers apart. You slip your hand over his, your fingers interlocking as he starts the familiar route back to his apartment. This would be a lot of work, and you both had to be patient. 

“Take things slow...” Frankie slowly murmurs. “Does this mean we can’t have sex?”

“No, fuck that.” You both laugh, squeezing his hand in your hold. 

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[weirdgenetic-fuckup]

heyyy, can i ask for 80's Dave fingering reader under the table in a dinner please? Thanks!! <3

A/n: posting my drafts rn and then I will be trying to write more

Warnings: Smut, fingering (f receiving), oral (f receiving), I don't know how to tag this so if you think I missed anything let me know otherwise enjoy!

This was his first time meeting your parents, it was supposed to be perfect and it was stressing you out. Dave, of course, had the 'perfect' idea on how to help you relieve said stress.

You refused, you had a plan and you would stick to it, even if you were desperate for something to calm your mind and your plan meant refusing him.

Everything was going perfect. Close to dinner starting, before your parents arrived, Dave had backed off from his approach, letting you do what you felt you had to do and complying easily with your instructions.

When your parents got there he was pleasant with them, he knew they wouldn't like him because they didn't like, well, him. They didn't like his music, his persona, how he spoke. Really, they hated him, but they liked how he made you feel, even if they felt it was only temporary.

You'd made the perfect meal, with Dave's help of course -he went out and got groceries while you were cleaning and then cleaned up the mess you'd made while cooking, still thoughtful and helpful enough- and now you were seated with your parents in the dining room.

Despite what it seemed to you, Dave never let it go. You were stressed and it was always his job to help you when you were stressed or angry or feeling any sort of negative emotion, he was your boyfriend and that was one of his jobs as your boyfriend.

So, no, he never let it go. He set a table cloth on the table, an overly grand one that was definitely not needed for this dinner, however, his plans varied from yours.

It his everyone's lap so no one could see anything, especially not his hand. He knew your parents had noticed his hand on you, on your thigh, they didn't need to know he had two fingers buried knuckle deep inside you.

At first you'd tried to get him to stop, holding his hand in yours, guiding it back to your thigh or his own lap. However, as the conversation dragged on and your parents became more pushy about Dave and his career, asking questions they didn't need to be asking, degrading him subtly in so many words. Eventually, you just had to let it happen.

Dave was getting annoyed, so were you, and you'd been stressing the past week over this exact conversation.

You wore a dress, it wasn't hard for Dave to move your panties to the side. He moved slow, resting his arm on your thigh and using his wrist to keep his ministrations subtle and hidden from your parents, all while keeping up a polite smile with your dad across from him.

He'd curl his fingers, prodding that special spot and drawing noises up, threatening to leave you at any moment. He kept pulling and pushing his knuckles in and out of your hole, where there'd be the most stretch and chance to hear you.

You knew he loved hearing you, it's how he made it through tours where you couldn't come. He just needed to hear your sweet moans and he'd be done within minutes.

You wouldn't dare make a sound now, if you did you'd never be able to speak to your parents again, look at them again. You'd be disowned forever and a day.

Nevertheless, you could feel that burning ball building inside you, you couldn't ignore it and hoped it went away, not when Dave's fingers were working on you as they were.

The conversation was directed mostly towards Dave, your parents were using it as an opportunity to just get mad at him, politely of course.

But Dave... Dave, to put it nicely, was an asshole. He saw the effect he was having on you and needed to hear those sweet sounds he loved oh so much.

"We were actually planning on getting a dog, weren't we, sweetheart?" He asked sweetly, smiling tugging at his plump lips, those same lips you'd kissed a thousand times before, those lips you'd kill to have on you right this second.

Instead of jumping on him right then and there you gave a small nod with a smile to match.

"Go on," he continued, swiftly pulling his fingers from you just to watch you choke back a squeal, "tell your parents about that breed you'd been looking at." He suggested, watching you closely.

"I-I, um..." You trailed, unable to look your parents in the eyes.

You stood up, brushing your dress down and mumbling something about needing fresh air before walking off.

Your parents were confused as you left, wondering what happened to make you feel like that. Not that it would've been hard to put the blame on them, having asked such rude questions about the man you'd told them time and time again that you loved to him, nonetheless.

Dave excused himself, using his best sympathetic tone when saying he needed to go check on you.

You'd gone to your shared bedroom and the second Dave had closed the door behind himself he was on you, wrapping his muscular arms around you and pulling you tight to him, lips crashing against yours.

You tried to push him away but he just moved from your lips to your neck. "Davie-Davie, please! Please, Davie, we-we can't do this!" You tried to reason, hands planted firmly on his shoulders.

"Yes, we can, you just have to have faith, darling." He mused, guiding you backwards to the bed.

He sat you down on the edge of the bed and got on his knees in front of you, spreading your legs and tugging your panties down, giving him full access to your glistening folds.

He went right back to fingering you, only now his tongue made it even more unbearable, circling your clit and collecting your juices. You were so sweet on his tongue, delectable and those noises that had his mind running laps.

You could feel that knot getting dangerously close to snapping. Tears filled your eyes, body trembling as you struggling against Dave's touch, trying to keep you still enough for him. You just wanted to use him, or let him use you, which ever was easier.

You'd been driving yourself crazy with this dinner, you hadn't let yourself get too close to Dave and now that you finally let him in you couldn't take it, it was too much all at once.

You needed it, you needed him so bad.

You bit your lip so hard you drew blood, but it was worth it as you felt the wave of pleasure wash over you, that feeling of pure bliss where your body completely relaxed and you could just feel Dave with your whole being.

He didn't let you enjoy it for as long as you'd like, pulling away, pushing his fingers into his mouth and cleaning them of you before getting your dress right.

He rested his hands on your waist and looked up at you with sincere, warm eyes. "Everything is fine, you did great and you are so, so beautiful tonight, do you know that?" He said.

You had no idea what he was talking about or what he was doing. You wanted to questions him but then the door opened and took all of your attention.

It was your dad coming to check on you. Dave had heard him coming and knew he needed to cover, so he did, shining a smile at your dad as he came in.

"Don't worry, I've got her." He said, standing and pulling you to your feet, holding you close as your knees wobbled from the high he'd just brought you to.

Oh, how he loved you.

Oh, how he tortured you.

You had to sit through the rest of dinner with your parents totally commando in a dress, all while Dave sat completely fine next to you. Well, aside from the obvious tightness in his jeans.

[stargirlrchive]

folklore: invisible string ✩ jake sully

masterlist ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ folklore masterlist

summary: jake sully x female!reader, no use of y/n, fluffy goodness, so sweet TW!! eluded to death due to child birth

word count: 1,828

sempul (n) - father ; sa’nok (n) - mother

‘ite (n) - daughter ; ‘itan (n) - son

tanhì (n) - star ; tsuk/tsmuk (n) - brother

atokirina (n) - woodsprites ; seeds of the sacred tree

comments: cannot believe we are done w/ the series! this is so sweet, my pookie <3 (reader) is so happy so fucking deserved like my bae went through hell and back LMAOOO thank you so so much for the support y’all have given the folklore series, it really does mean the world to me. i will be posting few a drabbles for the story, just some things i wanted added  but was never able to make fit correctly (i have 3 little idea so far, so folklore isn't really over haha) okok bye mwahhh ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

previous ✩

It took so much time to get the children to trust you and Jake again, not that you blamed them. You did keep such a big part of your life locked away, and it was hard to believe that you had really mated. It was more so hard for them to trust Jake again, because despite your persistence in trying to ease the tension they couldn’t believe it. They couldn’t believe their father was capable of doing that.

However things changed many months down the line when Neteyam found you near the coastline, paler than normal and burning in fever. “Sa’nok! Are you okay?”

“Mhm!”

You felt bile quickly rising up your throat, trying to force its way out of your mouth. You took deep breaths to try and still the rapid beating of your heart. You had chills wracking your body and you were dizzy as you stumbled slightly towards your eldest son. “Take me to Ronal?”

Neteyam’s mind was racing, brain trying to come up with what illness was causing all your symptoms but his brain was coming up blank. He led you quickly to Ronal, not caring who he bumped into as he noticed how hard it was for you to focus, “Ms.Ronal-Ma’Sa’nok is unwell.”

Neteyam was nibbling on his lip nervously, helping you lay down as Ronal tsk’ed quietly.

You were a dull blue, body sticky with cold sweat and Ronal had a feeling. She already knew the second Neteyam brought you in. Ronal laughed quietly, shaking her head in amusement as she began her evaluation. Poking lightly at your palms and stomach, pushing down with gentle fingers to your abdomen and she was unsurprised to find that your stomach felt hard. The tiniest of bumps protruding from your belly as you laid flat on the floor, “Neteyam, bring your father.”

Neteyam was up quickly, running through the sea of Metkayina Na’vi as he looked for his father. After what felt like hours, Neteyam found Jake. He was past the reef, training Lo’ak, Kiri, and Tuk to do who knows what. “Sir! Ma’ is sick!”

Jake willed his Ilu to move quickly through the water, worry pumping through his veins as he saw his oldest son so distraught. “What do you mean, ‘itan?”

“She-we were by the shore and she just got really sick. I took her to the Tsahik and Ms.Ronal asked me to get you. I-I don’t know anything else.”

Jake rode his Ilu as close to the shore as he could, sprinting out of the water to make it to you as fast as possible. His heart pumping so fast he heard it beating in his ears, ignoring the Na’vi greeting him. He felt sick, hundreds of possibilities swirling through his mind and they were all negative. Things had just started to look up and though uncommon for Na’vi’s to pass away from illness at such a young age he couldn't help but doubt in the Great Mother. Everything he touched burnt out, fizzled and turned to ash. The thought of something terrible happening to you was far too much for him to accept.

He bursted through Ronal’s mauri, causing the Tsahik to jump slightly at the unexpected commotion. Her eyes squinted at him in annoyance, “You scared me!”

Jake ignored her, “What’s wrong with her?”

His hands balled into fist, nerves wracking his whole body as he saw how hard it was for you to keep your eyes open. “Nothing is wrong with her-she is pregnant.”

Jake’s mouth fell slack, eyes blinking rapidly as he froze before Ronal. “Wha-are you sure?”

Ronal’s eyes rolled, standing up as her own babe began to whine not far behind them. She picked up the small girl up and began rocking her as she made her way outside of the mauri. “Of course I am sure. She most likely did not eat today and the heat exhausted her.”

Jake was watching you and tears welled his eyes, a watery laugh left his throat as he sank down beside you. “I have left her something to eat, and some remedies to help with the nausea.”

- pandora, awa’tula, 2173 -

You groaned uncomfortably, thump after thump pressing against your stomach as you sat cross legged on the mauri floor. Trying to weave a bracelet despite the discomfort in your stomach. Jake was trying hard not to laugh, you were so stubborn and refused to let him assist you.

He cradled Ney’la in his arms, the three year old girl babbling happily as she pulled at his hair. Tuk was pressed tightly beside you, making a necklace for her youngest sister. She was so happy to no longer be the baby of the family. “Sa’nok, are you okay?”

You forced a smile as the twelve year old pressed a hand to your swollen bump, trying to comfort you as best she could. “Yes sweet girl, tanhì just keeps kicking tonight.”

A quiet laugh left Jake’s throat and your eyes narrowed in on him, glaring softly and it instantly shut him up. “Tuk, take Ney’la outside with your siblings.”

As soon as Tuk stepped outside of the mauri with your youngest you grumbled at Jake, “Do not come near me.”

He crawled his way to you, biting back a smile, “Why not?”

“I am in this predicament because of you.” Your words held no bite, and Jake cooed softly, “But you look so pretty when you're carrying my babies.”

Your cheeks burned, your tail betraying you as it thumped excitedly. “Shut up.”

“Gonna fill you up with more.”

You whined his name, “Stop!”

He laughed, pulling the unfinished bracelet from your hand. He maneuvered you around so your back pressed to his chest, hands laying flat against your swollen belly. Rubbing gently against your skin, your whole body melted against his. Jake nibbled right below your ear, and your eyes fluttered shut, “I think I have to if we don’t get a boy. Can’t be outnumbered.”

Your tail curled around his leg, ears fluttering happily. “You are a menace.”

Jake laughed so hard your whole body shook, a small smile fighting its way onto your face. After a few moments of silence Jake placed a soft kiss to your shoulder, his hands continuing their movements on your stomach and the constant kicking finally stopped. “Seems like all tanhì wanted was my attention.”

“Apparently so.”

Seconds later your mauri was filled with loud chatter, all five of your children rushing in, chasing after Ney’la. She instantly ran into your arms, giggling wildly as she tried to escape them. “Ma!”

“Sa’nok she is already trying to ride an Ilu.”

Neteyam was beaming down at you, proud of his youngest sister. “Is she now?”

Your finger dug into the small girl's stomach, loud laughs leaving her mouth as she tried to squirm away from you. When she finally did, she ran straight into Lo’ak’s arm. “Tsuk!”

They all settled besides you and Jake, chatting about their day as Tuk played happily with Ney’la. Kiri picked up your unfinished bracelet, following the pattern you created all while she pretended to ignore the conversation her brothers were having.

A small content sigh left your mouth, it was in the smallest of moments when you felt happiest. Just you, your children and your mate, spending hours in each other's presence, talking about anything and everything. Happy tears rushed to your eyes as it hit how all your deepest desires became true. Everything your heart yearned for was finally yours. You sent Eywa a small prayer, thanking her for the life you lived.

Jake traced small shapes into your stomach, whispering quietly by your ear, “Thank you.”

Your face turned to him, looking up and his eyes were shining with unshed tears. He was feeling everything you were too. You pressed a small kiss to his cheek, nuzzling your face against his softly.

The three older kids caught the small moment, sharing a knowing look between one another, small smiles on their faces. “You two are being gross.”

“Lo’ak!”

A laugh rippled through your mouth as Kiri smacked him on the head. “Sorry-sorry.”

But the laughs didn't stop, Jake finding your own so infectious it caused some of his own. Soon you were all laughing so hard, stomach hurting from how happy you all were.

Ney’la was looking around confused, it was evident in her face as her brows pinched together. “Lo’ak funny?”

You motioned for her and the small girl ran into your arms again, nuzzling into your chest as you patted her hair, “Yes ‘ite. Lo’ak is so funny.”

Jake’s arms wrapped around the both of you, rocking you slightly and sleep began to find the small girl. Her fingers found their way to your ear, rubbing the pointest part as her eyes drooped low.

Tuk made her way to the three of you, smiling shyly up at you. “What is it ‘ite?”

“Wanna hear a story. Of you and Sempul.”

Your ears fluttered softly, “What story?”

She contemplated for a few seconds, thinking of what she wanted to know. Her eyes lit up before she spoke, ‘When you met!“

Jake groaned, that was so embarrassing for him. “Well, your Ma’Neytiri had dragged me into the forest. It was late and-” You laughed quietly, “I was never allowed out past eclipse but Neytiri convinced me to go. This was back when the clan still lived in Home Tree.”

You pulled Tuk into your arms, her head resting on your shoulder. “Then she wandered off and I was left alone, I think she thought I was following behind her because she never left me to fend for myself.”

A sad smile littered your features, memories of your dearest friend warming your heart, “Anyway I see this really tall Na’vi, with sky-people clothes and I just began to panic.”

Jake grumbled quietly, “You tried to kill me.”

You shushed him, “All I remember was I had him pinned to the floor and I had Zewlay’s knife pressed to his throat.”

All the kids laughed quietly, a small smile littered your features as you recalled the memory. “Then, hundreds of Atokirina surrounded the two of us and I knew that was a sign from Eywa that your Sempul had a greater purpose.”

Jake pressed a tiny kiss to your shoulder, moving to scoop Ney’la into his arms. “Then your Sa’nok found us, she saw all the woodsprite and we made the decision to take him back to Home Tree and present him to Mo’at, the rest well-you know.”

There was a small moment of comfortable silence before the normally loud chatter encompassed your mauri once again. Your hand traced small shapes on your own belly, utter happiness nestled into your chest. Memories flooded your mind, stories all blending together, tied by some golden invisible string that brought Jake to you.

fin ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

[thislovintime]

Peter Tork with Bob Rafelson, May 1968. Photos by Henry Diltz.

From Peter's Q&A at the 2006 United Fan Convention. “When I recorded ‘Can You Dig It,’ the guitar solo originally ran about three or four minutes all by itself. We cut that back to a minute and a half. Bob Rafelson took a pair of scissors and snipped off the end of it. He didn’t ask me to shorten it, which I would have been glad to do. He just chopped it off. Son of a bitch! I have a lot of gripes about that, but that’s neither here nor there.” - Peter Tork, Blitz!, May/June 1980 “[M]y personal belief is that Bob [Rafelson] is an evil-minded man. He likes to bring people down. Bob was often unsupportive as a human being and distinctly negative — and I was on the short end of that. There’s one example [in the film] — where Ray Nitschke, the football player, keeps hitting me. He was a Hall of Famer for the Green Bay Packers. He’s doing his best to hit me but not to give it all he’s got because if he does, I’m a squashed bug. So this guy’s one of the toughest men in football, he’s coming at me and I’m scared [but] figure it’s good to be scared because that’s what an actor should do. But Bob goes: ‘Ha, ha! Look at Peter! He’s scared! Ha, ha!’ I was just about the kick him in the balls. It was like, For fuck’s sake, Rafelson! You’re making fun of me ‘cos I’m scared? How do you think that’s going to affect the quality of your movie, pal? I was so angry! That’s the style in which he damaged what could have been a fulfilling quality experience.” - Peter Tork, MOJO, June 2002 “I didn’t have much to do with Kirshner and that which I did have to do with him was strained, difficult and incomprehensible. Schneider I love; he’s a hero of mine. Rafelson, the less said about, the better.” - Peter Tork, Goldmine, May 1982 “There was one guy, Steve [Stills], whom I liked enormously. Unfortunately he wasn’t quite right, but he had musical intelligence and I went so far as to ring him up and ask him along again. When he realized he wasn’t going to make it he suggested I get in touch with someone he knew, a certain Peter Thorkelson. I might have said ‘Yeah’ and forgotten about it — particularly as this Peter Thorkelson hadn’t even answered the ad and we had a lot of guys who had. Yet I remember I went to great lengths to contact him. I found him working as a dishwasher — not even as a musician, so you can imagine it took a while tracing him. But when I heard him, I knew at once he was right. I was knocked out.” - Bob Rafelson, NME, August 12, 1967 “The movie portrays them with not so much sweetness and brightness [as the TV show]. It’s a much heavier and far-out thinking group. I wouldn’t call it uncharitable. I thought it was expanding my sense of who they were. There’s a boxing scene in which Micky says, ‘Take this, you dummy.’ Suddenly the music changes and Peter appears in the corner, Christ-like, and says, ‘Micky, I’m the dummy. I’m always the dummy.’ The point was that he was always asked to be the dummy, so here he’s acknowledging it. But he’s also the one who’s given the longest speech in the movie about spiritual evolution, which he’s learned from the guru in the steam room. I was trying to give him a chance to be himself, but in a symbolic way. He is that way today, by the way. In other words, The Monkees became what they really were.” - Bob Rafelson, MOJO, June 2002 “Working for Bob was tough.” - Peter Tork, Shindig Magazine, 2010 “‘Most people are dazzled by the psychedelia, and that’s fine, but for me finally the point of the movie is the Monkees never get out,’ Tork says sadly. ‘Which is to say Bob Rafelson’s view of life is you never get out of the black box you’re in. There’s no escape.’ So how would a Peter Tork cut of Head end? ‘There might have been a scene where we get out,’ he says wistfully. ‘We jump in the water and get away.’“ - The Guardian, April 28, 2011

[nightcolorz]

My dad has started watching amc iwtv so that I’ll talk to him 🙏 last time we talked he just finished s1 ep4, here’s some stuff he said if any of u r interested in a mildly homophobic 52 yr old mentally disturbed man’s pov on iwtv.

—I really liked the blood sex scene where they start flying. That was really creative I haven’t seen that before, the flying naked thing. Really inventive

—lestats actor reminds me of Tim curry. He’s amazing

—Louis’s actor is perfect. Way better than brad Pitt. Wait I recognize him from somewhere. Was he the guy without balls from game of thrones?

—I liked the monologue in the confession booth. (Starts reciting it from memory)

—I’m trying to think of negative things to say but I have none

—I thought the slow motion scene when lestat killed the priest was even cooler then quick silver

—I like the romance a lot. Isn’t that weird?

—I think Claudia is my favorite. I didn’t care about her in the movie but something about this Claudia is rlly great. Maybe it’s her accent I don’t know

—I really wish Louis ate that baby. They should’ve went there

—You didn’t tell me the interviewer was Eric Bogosian, he’s in a bunch of stuff I like. He tends to just play himself, every character he plays is just kind of him

— I liked the business stuff. Like when Louis was being a pimp, that was great.

—I like Louis a lot. He is way tougher than movie and book Louis. I like how he’s bad ass

—When Louis killed the fat racist, that was awesome.

—I loved when lestat killed the opera guy but first he gave him music lessons. It was pretty hannibal of him

—I wish there was more of Paul. I liked how he is like crazy. I don’t know if this is bullshit but I think maybe lestat killed Paul by mind controlling him

—Can these vampires be in mirrors? Bcus there was that part where they were playing dress up and Lestat was in the mirror, and I got confused

—I know u like Armand a lot but I don’t think I can like any Armand that isn’t Antonio banderas. I just like how he says Louis in his accent.

—I liked how they made all the boring parts have action. Like I like how Claudia’s mom was on fire instead of just being sick

—that scene where lestat is being romantic and he says that thing about water. That was great

(more to come cuz I told him to keep me updated lol)

[sailormoonandme]

Mamoru is NOT useless in the Anime

Yes, yes, the memes are funny and all, but this is simply objectively not true and I'm rather exhausted of folks critiquing the character/the anime as though it were.

I will hopefully kill his BS once and for all.

"He just throws a rose and leaves!"

For those who have actually watched the anime (or even just the very first episode) to describe Tuxedo Mask as 'useless' is reductionist to the point of being outright disingenuous. In particular when this argument is made in such a way as to negatively compare him to his manga counterpart, who is put over as allegedly superior on this point.

The original 1992 Sailor Moon anime had 200 episodes, 3 TV specials*, 2 theatrical shorts and 3 films, with these latter theatrical releases being dubiously canonical to the anime. Mamoru appears in the overwhelming majority of those 208 entires, even accounting for the final 34 episodes where he was dead/functionally absent almost all of the time. Even if we seriously low balled things, the majority of those appearances feature him partaking in the following scenario.

Sailor Moon, often with her fellow Senshi, are fighting the monster of the day (maybe it's a higher ranking villain, or a general threat they are dealing with).

They get into a tight spot where either they or whoever/whatever they are trying to protect is in danger from whatever threat they are combatting.

Then, out of the blue, a rose slices through the air and imbeds itself into the scenery like a dart. Typically, this action saves the lives of Sailor Moon, her friends or whomever they might be protecting.

Tuxedo mask gives a speech and either leaves or else sticks around to see Sailor Moon perform her finishing move that effectively ends whatever threat she was dealing with, often with Tuxedo Mask being the one to prompt her into performing this finshing move.

For the sake of argument lets pretend that the above is literally the sum totality of what Mamoru does in regards to the superheroics of Sailor Moon. How could anyone describe the above as 'useless'?

If his interventions regularly save Sailor Moon's life then that is a zillion miles away from useless. For him to be useless, his actions need to be superfluous, pointless, contribute nothing. Even if he contributed a little bit he would by definition not be useless. And saving the protagonist's life is much more than 'a little bit'. If the protagonist dies then the story is over. Evil has won, the world is doomed.

And this isn't even considering all the ways Mamoru contributes OUTSIDE of the above scenario.

He has, whilst untransformed, stabbed a Lemures with a knife to save Sailor Moon.

He has willingly acted as a magical life support system for Chibi-Usa when her Pure Heart was stolen, an act that maybe anyone else could have performed but it is still a noble thing to do, in particular when it freed up the more powerful characters to go get her heart back.

He personally met up with the Outer Senshi to learn about them on behalf of the other girls, going alone which might have been dangerous, but the episode also gives the impression that he, as the oldest member of the team, was better positioned to get info from the older Outer Senshi who has a demeaning view of the younger Inner Senshi. In this same episode, he tried to convince the Outers to join forces with the Inners, acting as a diplomat.

He went 1-on-1 with Rubeus to defend an injured Sailor Moon who was herself acting as a human shield for Chibi-Usa

He has personally gone on a one man mission to infiltrate the Black Moon Clan's HQ to rescue Sailor Moon from being sexually assaulted by Prince Demande.

Mere episodes later he and Artemis went on a scouting mission to learn more about the Malefic Black Crystal

He formed a double team with Sailor Moon to tackle a tennis themed Youma, an encounter that involved more than a singular rose throw and a speech. One of the multiple times he got more directly involved in fighting the monster of the day

He literally carried Sailor Moon on his back to save her when they were both trapped in an elevator courtesy of Nephrite

He was prepared to willingly reveal his identity and hand both himself and his Rainbow Crystals over to Zoisite in order to save Sailor Moon and her friends

The love he shared with Usagi directly led to the manifestation of the Silver Crystal, to the salvation of Chibi-Usa when she'd been brainwashed into Black Lady & the creation of a new weapon and transformation brooch for Usagi in season 3

As Prince Endymion, he went against his own subjects and risked his life to infiltrate the Moon Palace and warn his beloved Serenity that his home planet was going to invade her home

He took not one, not two, but three impalements to protect Sailor Moon's life

More often than not he has acted as reliable emotional support for Usagi and Chibi-Usa, encouraging them, helping them with homework or just being there for them. i.e. he is an imperfect, but ultimately good husband and father. Which is particularly impressive considering he hadn't yet married his wife nor conceived his child.

There are those who might scoff at the latter. Is emotional support really useful? Well, putting aside how the Sailor Moon universe clearly demonstrates how magical power/energy is directly linked to emotions, this is categorically true in the real world as well. There are no end of testimonies from fire fighters, doctors, people who have serious illnesses, or soldiers that the emotional support of thier loved ones have kept them going and kept them alive. So, this is rather useful for our heroine Usagi who's job is that of a Sailor Soldier.

The Outer Senshi

Furthermore, there is an inherent hypocrisy in the 'Mamoru is useless' narrative because such criticisms are never levelled against other characters whose typical role in the narrative are similar to Mamoru's.

The most popular season of the original anime was season 3 (Sailor Moon S) and one of the biggest reasons for that show's popularity were the fan favourite Outer Senshi: Sailors Uranus, Neptune, Pluto and Saturn. Let's exclude Saturn as she wasn't active as a Senshi for most of season 3. Uranus and Neptune's role in the first half of season 3 typically amounted to

Attacking the monster of the day, usually to the same end that Mamoru's rose throws did, i.e. a distraction or last minute save

Swiping the Pure Heart of that episode's victim

Checking it over before concluding it wasn't a Talisman

Leaving, or else at least standing by as Sailor Moon administered her finishing move on the monster of the day

Golly...that seems just as 'useless' as Mamoru now doesn't it? In fact, maybe more so considering they weren't even trying to help Sailor Moon in the first place. In fact, during their second appearance, they unintentionally saved the lives of a powerless Usagi, her friends and an innocent civilian to check a Pure Heart, then uncaringly left them all in danger.

You know who then saved them immediately after that? Mamoru!

Later when he too was overwhelmed by the monster he directly contributed to saving the day as his emotional bond with Usagi generated the Spiral Moon Heart Rod, upgrading Sailor Moon and giving her the power to save everyone.

During the third sub-arc of season 3 (where the recurring villain was Mimet of the Witches 5) Sailor Pluto joined the Outer Senshi's ranks and their role in the typical monster of the day plots became yet more minimal. More than once, the trio literally appeared but did nothing, something that had also happened at least once before Pluto joined the team. Examples include (but are not necessarily limited to) episodes 97 (The Labyrinth of Water – Ami Targeted), 116 (Sunny Skies After a Storm – A Friendship Dedicated to Hotaru) and 118 (Battle Inside the Demonic Space – The Sailor Guardians’ Gamble). In some of these instances the Outers deliberately choose to do nothing.

Barring 2 of the specials mentioned above (one of which was a clip show), the Outer Senshi were wholly absent in season 4/Sailor Moon SuperS. In one of those specials, upon learning that a new threat had arisen Uranus and Neptune...choose to continue their road trip and leave the fighting to Usagi and the others...How...useful???????

They, along with Pluto and Saturn get much more involved during the course of the final season/Sailor Stars. Even then, Saturn only appears in the first few episodes and the last few. Pluto only gets involved in the monster of the day schemes once or twice and Uranus and Neptune three or four times, if that. Whilst Mamoru is barely involved at all in this season, he at least has the excuse of being dead for most of it.

So, the fan favourite Outer Senshi got far LESS involved and were LESS useful than Mamoru typically was in the course of the whole show. In fact, even if we exclude the first two seasons where (exempting Pluto) the Outer Senshi hadn't appeared yet, Mamoru overwhelmingly contributed MORE than the Outer Senshi did.**

The Other Senshi

Much the same can be applied to the Sailor Starlights. The Starlights more often than not actually got MORE involved in fighting the monsters of the day during season 5 than the Outer Senshi did in season 3; or at least they were interested in defusing a direct and active threat to innocent lives. But even they literally showed up and did nothing on at least one occasion.

Whilst the Starlights are nowhere close to the Outer Senshi's popularity, they are also never subjected to the 'they are useless' narrative Mamoru frequently is.

Nor in fact are the Inner Senshi of Sailors venus, Mars, Jupiter and Mercury. Now, whilst it's easy to argue due to their superior screentime, the fact that they often initiate combat with the monster of the day and are generally heavily involved in whatever crisis is happening, that they are obviously more useful than Mamoru is.

And you know what, even including the rare occasions they too show up and do nothing else (or do a last minute save like Mamoru is prone to do) this is perfectly true. It is also perfectly true however that the quartet have rarely ever defeated any monster of the day on their own. The overwhelming majority of the time the Inner Senshi act as a distraction to the Monster of the day or else sufficiently lower its HP so that Sailor Moon can actually beat the monster. That might be more useful than Mamoru's typical contributions, but, call me crazy, it seems like Sailor Moon is doing the lion's share of the work there. So, how 'useful' are the Inner Senshi really if we run by the 'Mamoru is useless' narrative?

If Mamoru is useless so are many if not all of the more popular heroic characters in the series.

But...how useless is Mamoru in the anime compared to the Manga?????????

*Well, one special with three segments, but go with me on this.

**They were mostly absent from season 4 whilst he appeared routinely in that season. Meanwhile, in the season he was mostly absent, they rarely helped out.

Obviously, there are real life writing reasons behind that difference, but my point is why is the fandom not treating the Outer Senshi as 'useless' too?

[whumpfish]

Since we've been talking about it quite a bit recently, let me introduce an underrepresented part of conditioning: stupid shit.

Not everything you've been conditioned to believe will elicit a negative response to is going to trigger a full-on meltdown. Your whumpee likely has habits that only a caretaker who is looking will notice. Your caretaker might even make comments or tease them about it, because they're clearly not upset, so they're just being weird.

I was a prey kid, and my ptsd from that was probably closer to combat fatigue than strictly emotional damage. I did a ton of things nobody noticed, and the people who noticed never suspected why. I never sat with my back exposed, I always took the back row. I packed up all my worldly belongings and took them with me if I had to go to the restroom. I didn't answer to my name in the hall unless I recognized the voice. Failing to do these, I had learned, had catastrophic consequences; my life depended on them.

Conditioning changes your perception; it changes how your brain registers sound, for example. My brain just straight up discarded the sound of my name if it was someone I didn't know. I had no conscious idea that I was walking away from perfectly harmless people who were just trying to get my attention. I just didn't hear them.

Then I went and got myself an abusive girlfriend, because why not... and the opposite happened. I got told multiple times a day that I was walking wrong and sounded "like a herd of elephants." I didn't realize til we stayed with my aunt who has new hardwood floors that my footsteps sound WAY louder to me than anyone else's, and I wasn't taking actual steps but instead sort of sliding my feet along. I didn't notice until I tripped on a rug that nobody else was moving like this. This was weird. And I'm working on it, I've started to walk with the ball of my foot first like a Degas dancer. But if my heel hits the floor first it sounds like an earthquake to me.

Give your whumpee stupid shit that stays with them even as they recover from the big stuff, not worked on or even noticed by their caretaker and maybe the whumpee themselves. Make it an inconvenience. Make it instinctive. Make it awkward. Conditioning is a spectrum of survival behaviors, and the milder end of that spectrum is just as important as the more severe end if you want to write it realistically.

[skythealmighty]

Wheel, the Paranoid: An in-depth scene-by-scene character analysis

"We aren't so much angry as very, very worried." - The School of Life

TL;DR: Wheel is not as mean or as angry as he seems on the surface; in fact, he's decently logical, but also paranoid and often worried about things everyone else brushes off! He covers up his fear with anger, and doesn't actually hate anyone (though he does have a sort of rivalry with WWFT). He also has a penchant for fairness in most things, doesn't like killing, and probably feels guilty over Felt Container's elimination. Most importantly though, he's distrusted Clock since the beginning, holding firm in his belief that something about this was very off- and unfortunately for him, was only proven right after he was eliminated. All in all, he's a very interesting character overall, not just because of his elimination scene!

FAIR WARNING: The full analysis below the cut is over four thousand words. There's no content warnings, but it's very, very long without any pictures. Have fun lol

IT’S TIME FOR THE [1:00] - Who’s Jason??

1:30 - “I’m having a weird feeling about today, a feeling that… something’s going to happen. Something bad’s going to happen!”

Note the panicked expression, and the worried expression that follows when Felt Container brushes him off. His first instinct is to look at the sky, too- maybe that’s paranoia, but he was the first one to notice Clock. And sure, he’s a bit mean about it, but it feels like he’s genuinely trying to warn Felt Container about whatever’s coming.

1:59 - “AHHHH! WHAT IS THAT!”

Probably the most reasonable reaction to a being like Clock appearing out of nowhere. He also seems to try and maybe scare Clock away? 

2:11 - “WHO ARE YOU?!” “Ha! Hi. My name is C.L.O.C.K.: Thing That You Tell The Time ohhh wait my name is not an acronym.” “WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US?”

Figuring out motives. He clearly doesn’t trust Clock immediately (good, but also furthers my earlier maybe-point about paranoia). Notice how he says “us” and not “me”, meaning he’s saying this for everyone (whether they would think to or not).

2:28 - “Okay, I’m in!” and 2:47 

In both of these instances, he’s the only one with a different expression from the rest. Narrowed eyebrows at the premise of a competition show (2:28), and disbelief (negative) at the prize (2:47). I don’t think he went “WOOOHOOOO” with everyone else- and he still clearly doesn’t trust Clock. Not yet.

3:06 - [The whole sequence leading up to the first intro]

I feel bad for him here; he looks genuinely afraid, especially when he gets closer to the ground. He still looks angry, but- well, he’s definitely more afraid than properly angry.

4:45 - “Dang, if only you were like a street lamp or crossing signal or something, would have had a cool team name idea for that.”

While No Way and 57 Ball are occupied with that conversation, Wheel looks offscreen. There’s no way of knowing where he’s looking, but from context clues, it would make a lot of sense if he was keeping an eye on Clock, given his immediate reaction to them. He only actually talks when it’s almost the very end of the time, and… it’s a BFB reference. I don’t know if this was a conscious decision by Wheel or just a reference for reference's sake, but it feels like he pulled the first thing that came to mind to pretend he was participating. (The nervous tone makes me think that he could be afraid of Clock doing something to him for not saying anything.)

6:47 - [Wheel pacing]

Okay, he says he’s doing the challenge here, but he’s more likely just panicking and saying he’s doing the challenge to cover that up. 

8:36 - “Team Earth! Where is your card?” “I KICKED IT!” “He kicked it.”

I’m probably reading into this way too much, but when he’s shaking (or vibrating intensely), it’s pretty clear that he really REALLY does NOT like Clock. (Either that or he’s hiding fear with anger.)

9:35 - “NOOO! That’s not fair, I demand that you host a second challenge, so that we can RIGHTFULLY see who-”

On the surface, this sounds like bratty whining, or nitpicking, but with the context of future episodes this could easily be read as Wheel being afraid of being UFE. After all, a wheel is random, and his team could be picked, even if they did the challenge. (This could also be read as proof for him actually caring a lot about fairness- more on that later.)

IT’S TIME FOR THE [2:00] - Best Source For Weather Information

0:30 - “I’m already out man… anyways, it says next up is Words With Friends Tile.” “LET’S GOOO!” “Wait a minute. H- HE DOESN’T HAVE ANY EYEESS!”

Very small and unserious moment, but another point to the “Wheel caring about fairness” chart. Someone without eyes could very easily win a staring contest, after all. (Of course then he gets into a fight with WWFT, but from the cartoon SFX and the blank stares afterward, this is probably lighthearted and maybe even a common occurrence.)

1:33 - “Yes!! I can’t wait to beat ALL OF YOU IN THE NEXT CHALLENGE!”

This sounds like a brag or a taunt (and in part it probably is), but after seeing this scene multiple times his expression seems over-dramatized… is that the word I’m looking for? Exaggerated. It’s likely he doesn’t actually mean it. (And then the intro sequence happens and he sounds equal parts nervous and annoyed at being picked up. It’s probably less surprising the second time.)

3:48 - “THERE’S NO MORE TEAMS! There’s no more teams!”

Unimportant detail but Wheel is glaring a bit at WWFT and then in the next scene glaring at him even harder (and vibrating in anger), probably because of the fight earlier. Silly little thing I wanna point out!

4:39 - “This doesn’t seem very fair…” “Sure it is!” “Oh okay!” “What.” “Well it ISN’T fair!! None of us even know how to DO the challenge!”

Another point for Wheel caring about fairness! Even when No Way blindly accepts Clock’s response to No Way’s point, Wheel challenges it in his friend’s (?) stead, and then points out another unfair aspect right afterwards. Of course, after his nitpick is fixed, he declares himself hyped for the challenge- this I believe easily, though, since he seems like the athletic type and likely finds this sort of thing cool.

5:15 - [Wheel, 57 Ball and Refill Station doing the challenge]

More proof to Wheel caring about rules- he doesn’t react to Refill Station at all, but he glares at 57 Ball when he sees him rolling on the rail instead of grinding with a board like the rest of them. 

7:14 - “Whuh!? One spot left??” [Vase shatters] “OUT OF MY WAY! HUFF HUFF HUFFF HUFF HUUAGHH I’m gonna make it!!” [Portal appears] “Huh?” “Yes! I’m out!” “WATCH OUT!”

Important moment, in my perspective. It furthers my theory of him being afraid of being UFE, since immediately after Clock mentions there’s only one spot left, he rushes forward recklessly enough to injure Vase. I’m not exactly sure if he really meant to do that, though, because he tries to warn Green before a scenario that’s sure to (and did) kill him. That’s his first kill, actually, if I remember correctly- despite him seeming mean, it’s clear he’s not the antagonist he pretends he is.

IT’S TIME FOR THE [3:00] - Next

0:58 - “Welcome back Pool Ball, Orange and Tire-” “DON’T CALL ME THAT!” “Okay!” “Wait last ti- huhhh???” “We lost the challenge, genius, I’m getting pretty used to this already.” “YOU… you’re the reason I LOST THE CHA-”

It’s not just me, right? Wheel seems extremely high-strung here- yelling immediately after only one minor button was pressed (Clock using the wrong name). From experience with my brother, I can see this being caused by one of two reasons- either he’s overwhelmed, or he’s guilty… or both. After all, he’s up for elimination, and he just accidentally killed someone. He actually seems to be mildly shocked at Green until Green snarks at him, which is when he snaps at him and accuses him of making him lose. I don’t think he actually blames Green- this feels more like a knee-jerk reaction.

1:20 - “GO AHEAD, DO IT!! JUST DO IT ALR-”

He’s definitely used to the intro sequence and hates it, but this feels like a massive overreaction- adding to my theory of him being on edge. He snaps at Green with a threat when he slams him into the ground a few times (maybe as revenge for Wheel killing him) and laughs at him, probably because Green is exacerbating the situation and adding to his stress.

2:11 - “Luck?? LUCK? I DON’T NEED LUCK!”

If I could guess what he would say next, it would be: “I NEED TO BE SAFE!” Uh… that’s my only comment for this bit, other than yep, I still think he’s tense.

3:09 - “You almost killed me, how did you get so many votes?!” “And I’ll do it again if it means people like me!!”

To be blunt, this feels almost like a confession. I don’t think he’s talking about his fellow contestants here, he’s talking about the voters- he needs their favoritism to be safe from elimination, and he’s willing to go pretty far for that. The game is picking up, the stakes are getting higher, and things are getting more intense. I don’t think he dislikes Vase or has anything against her, he’s just being honest. He also seems to be getting more into the game now, his competitive nature arising- despite his distrust towards Clock, he’s far more willing to play their game now that he’s won a few challenges.

5:31 - [Wheel getting water from Refill Station, then getting scared by Clock] “Water bubbler is NOT allowed, that’d be way too easy!” “Wait, what’d you just call me??” “You just SAID ‘get you a cup of water’.” “Yeah, it’s supposed to be a challenge, go on and-” “Hey, I have a cup of water for you Clock.” “...YES!!”

This is a long quote, but all of it is needed for the context. Wheel is taking the easy route here, rushing ahead of everyone else to do so before they think of it- he cares about fairness, but at the time of him getting the water, Clock hadn’t said it was against the rules yet. He’s sort of exploiting a loophole- which fits his admission earlier about being willing to do whatever to keep the audience on his side, just in this case pertaining to his willingness to take the easy route so he can be safe as fast as possible. (Also, his confident “heh, too easy” afterwards feels to me more like an expression of relief than a brag, but it is kind of both.)

6:12 - “Are you sure? It seems like people are already on their way to that lake over there, we gotta be quick.”

Wheel only has a very short (and easily missable) appearance here, but even though he’s safe, he’s keeping an eye on the game rather than relaxing elsewhere. This will be brought up soon.

6:48 - “I’ll be taking this!!”

Honestly, this whole sequence confused me a lot at first, kind of contradicting most of the assumptions I made about Wheel from 1:00 and 2:00. After a lot of consideration, though, I think I’ve come to a reasonable enough theory: he could have made this decision by taking inspiration from Snowball, who he’s quoted before and kind of tries to take after in terms of gameplay. After all, Snowball made it surprisingly far acting this way, and he does not want to be eliminated. This theory depends on whether or not BFDI as a franchise exists in ITFT’s world, though. (There are other theories I have, but they don’t hold a lot of water. This scene still kind of confuses me.)

IT’S TIME FOR THE [4:00] - Do NOT Use The Popcorn Button

1:02 - [Wheel revived] “...youuu don’t have anything to say this time?” [ `,:[ ] “Hm…”

It’s official, he’s used to (and REALLY tired of) the intro sequence. Also, the last few times he actually said anything before the intro, it didn’t exactly help his case, so he might as well just let it happen. He’s definitely not happy about it, though.

1:39 - “One two three four… I thought I put four of you up for elimination this time!”

His expressions here… sorry I don’t have anything to say it’s just. Boy why you so ò៱ó

1:59 - “I shouldn’t BE HERE, I didn’t even lose the last challenge!!” “Why don’t you just… leave then?” “You don’t WANT me here?” “No! No, I didn’t say tha-”

This feels like half catastrophizing and half playing into the Snowball role (as per my earlier theory). He doesn’t want to be at the elimination area, but he doesn’t want to be told to go away, either. Furthermore, I think his frustration here was aimed at Clock, not any of the others, but he had a knee-jerk reaction when No Way interrupted what might have turned out to be a rant.

2:07 - “You’re a loser brah-” “YOU’RE A LOSERRrrrr for the sake of my safety, I will try to use, nicer words.” “...okay?” [PUNT]

I’m not exactly sure how much beef Wheel has with WWFT, but it definitely feels like an ongoing thing- maybe a rivalry or something similar. He was very quick to fight him even before he started acting meaner, after all- and that at least explains him punting WWFT. As for the “for the sake of my safety” part, after a second glance, it’s likely he means safety during elimination, seeing as he looks directly at the camera (fourth wall?) right after he says this. (It seems, to me, that he already assumes he’s going to be up for elimination, and in danger because of this.)

3:54 - “Wellllll next safe is Wheel!! With 0 votes!” “...you’re… serious..?”

Okay this isn’t important at all but it’s really silly. I just wanted to put it here

4:02 - “NO! Let me do the rest of them, you don’t know what you’re doing!”

The thing about this is, he’s right. I have no way of knowing if he’s just trying to insult Clock here or something else, but I feel like this has a double meaning. Clock doesn’t know what they’re doing, and Wheel is aware of this- possibly because of previous eliminations- and his point is proven later by Clock quite literally admitting they don’t know what happens with the eliminated contestants as Green is turned into a radio. (Also, him calling WWFT “Words With STUPID Tile” is pretty funny, and a point towards the two of them having some sort of rivalry?)

5:18 - “Wheel, I think you permanently killed Polka Dot.” “Okayy, wasn’t me- no, really! It was Vase!”

Part of this feels like him defending himself in front of the viewers (plus it almost looks like he’s looking at the camera at 5:23), and the other part feels like he’s defending himself to everyone else, particularly No Way, maybe because the two of them have so far a neutral/positive relationship. Besides, he’s right- Vase was the one who had the idea for the Sun to shoot fireballs at Wheel and the cloud, even if Wheel did cause the cloud thing in the first place. He’s not the one who killed everyone through that.

6:00 - “Here are your teams for this challenge! And only this challenge!!” “Wow, uneven teams again? Huh.”

Another point for Wheel and WWFT having a rivalry- as soon as it’s confirmed that they’re on the same team, Wheel glares at WWFT with balled fists. Also, unlike in [1:00], Wheel no longer has an angry expression in the zoom-out- he does look mildly upset, but it’s more like he’s resigned, almost. He’s getting used to the game and Clock.

6:13 - “Can we name our teams??” “NO!” [ :( ] “...whatever, fine-”

I’m not sure exactly why he immediately says “no” (it could be for a multitude of reasons- playing into the Snowball act, or maybe it’s because he’s aware that the teams will only last for one episode), but the backtracking after Refill Station looks sad doesn’t feel as begrudging as it might seem- he plays the mean act, but he clearly feels a little bad about making RF sad. (I hate to compare this to the tsundere trope but honestly… this is a very tsundere thing to do. You know I’m right.)

6:44 - “WHAT IS THAT?!” “Yo, I think that’s Polka Dot!” “Oh hello Polka Dot!!” “Chill, chill, wait waitwaitwaitwaAAAAAAAAA-”

It’s the exact same panic that Wheel had upon Clock suddenly appearing, down to the words! The difference is, he doesn’t seem to try and hide that panic here, expression genuinely afraid as he looks between WWFT and Refill Station (neither of whom are panicking), and his default angry expression (the same one when he was dropped before the first intro) only returns when the polka dot void starts to spin them around. Once again, he’s worried when no one else is, just like in [1:00]. (It almost feels like his panic is exaserbated by the fact that he’s the only one panicking- they should be worried, why are they just accepting this?)

6:54 - “Come on guys, do the challenge!” “DON’T YOU THINK WE SHOULD SORT THIS OUT?!” “Nooo, no it’s fine!” “!lennahc eht egnahC !lennahc eht egnahC !LENNAHC EHT EGNAHC” “Actually, nevermind, uhh… yeah, let’s… let’s do the challenge. GO!”

Proving my last point, he immediately points out that yeah, maybe they should do something about the weird thing that just appeared; looking frustrated when Refill Station brushes him off, similar to when Felt Container brushed him off in [1:00]. He’s not so much angry as he is worried and frustrated that nobody seems to be validating his worry. However, when the polka dot void starts acting weird and speaking in reverse, he begins to look afraid again and starts trying to get Refill Station away from it. Though he’s clearly still a bit upset that no one’s doing anything about it, he realizes that it’s dangerous and then tries to protect himself (and others) by picking his battles and getting his current teammate away from the danger. Once again, it’s clear he’s not the antagonist he sometimes pretends to be- why would he do this if he didn’t care?

7:37 - “I mean we have so many loaves of bread, we could just mash all of em together into a nice bread structure, what do you guys think?” “Yeah!” “SIIIKE! AHAHAHAHA-”

This daydream seems kind of significant to me because of the people he’s thinking of in it- Polka Dot, Green, and Felt Container. Polka Dot is currently missing, and he was just recently accused of permanently killing her (also, the polka dot void could have reminded him of her); Green is someone he accidentally killed in [2:00], despite him trying to warn him; and finally, Felt Container is the first person he went to when he felt that something was off in [1:00], and who was eliminated the next episode. Given the pattern of Polka Dot and Green being people he had a hand in killing, this could mean he feels he’s at fault for Felt Container being eliminated and assumedly killed. (In fact, he could have even seen that elimination, but there’s no way of knowing if he did or didn’t.) Something, something, survivor’s guilt…

8:39 - “Oh, it’s you again. You trying to steal our idea??? Huh?? HM?!” “Bro, chill out. It’s literally Polka Dot.” “Oh YEAH?? Well, can you explain what THIS is??”

First, he doesn’t seem particularly enthused that they’re all back by the polka dot void, especially since earlier he was trying to get Refill Station away from it. Him ‘accusing’ the polka dot void feels kind of just like a silly joke, but it could also be him proving he’s not afraid of it or something- either way, though, he clearly doesn’t believe that it’s Polka Dot. (He also looks afraid/shocked when Polka Dot shows up in the thought bubble, a similar shock to when he first saw Green after he died. Just pointing that out.)

9:11 - “GUYS! I figured out what we can do!! We can combine all of our ideas!”

It feels like he’s somewhat abandoned the Snowball route by now- and also, he looks almost genuinely excited (or maybe proud) when he suggests this. Maybe he’s just excited that he’s sure his idea will win them the challenge, but to me it feels like he’s happy he realized a solution that could include all of the team. (He definitely cares.)

10:10 - “Didn’t you say this WASN’T a cooking challenge?” “This is nowww a cooking challenge!” 

Yet another point to Wheel caring about fairness- he immediately points out Clock contradicting what they said about the challenge when it was announced, because it now suddenly being a cooking challenge is unfair.

10:38 - “TRUST me Clock! I’ve had it, it’s very good. Yep! …ehh, actually, that can stay right there.”

He’s hyping up his team’s creation, or at least trying to, to possibly give them a better chance at winning the challenge. This could just be for his own sake, but I’m willing to believe it’s for the whole team’s sake too. (He definitely doesn’t want to be up for elimination, though.)

10:54 - “Vote for one of the members of eeuughhh-”

Pay attention to Wheel’s expressions here. Immediately, he first looks nervous on first showing up on the elimination screen. Then, he looks surprised and then mildly suspicious of Clock being there, followed by slightly startling at Clock disappearing from the spot he was looking at. He looks at Polka Dot a little sadly, and then at the screen, worried but resigned. To me, this mainly feels like he’s nervous about his fate at the hands of the viewers (though honestly, he has been this whole episode), but also guilty at possibly killing Polka Dot from the look he gives her- or sympathetic to her mild panic, since she seems to silently apologize for appearing to squish Clock. (I’m not wholly sure why in between those, he gives Clock such a distrusting squint- at least not specifically, since I stand by the fact that he’s been distrusting of the host since the beginning.) Whatever the case, this whole sequence says a lot about Wheel to me, even if it’s just from his expressions.

IT’S TIME FOR THE [5:00] - Fifty-Seven Tears Of The Star

0:56 - “Speaking of the elimination… I think… I wouldn’t mind, a bit of a delay?” “Oh, you scared or somethin’?” “NO, no, I just think… we should look for Tile!” […] “NO, YOU’RE JUST SAYING THAT ‘CAUSE YOU’RE SAFE!!” […] “Know what? SHUT UP! Y- y- man- I’m- I’ma do my own thing.”

That’s pretty clearly a boldfaced lie. He’s been afraid of being eliminated from the start, and especially last episode. I don’t even need to analyze this deeply at all- it’s clear to everyone, even the other contestants, that he’s lying. He just doesn’t want to seem scared, so he covers it up with anger. This has been a pattern since [1:00]; it’s just much more obvious now.

2:48 - “RRRAAH I hate those guys, I hate the GRASS, I hate the SKY, I hate the AIR, I hate the TIME- oh… hm.” “You hate what?” “YOU.” “You… hate me?” “YES. …here we go again.”

Notice how fast he’s speaking in the beginning. To me, it sounds like rambling for the sake of rambling- he’s frustrated and afraid, and he doesn’t know how to get it out properly, so he does this mini-tantrum. I don’t think he means most of what he says there- when kids react like this, they often don’t either- but I do think he means it when he says it to Clock. He’s never liked Clock, this is just the first time he’s openly saying it.

3:10 - “Oh my, please be sure to watch where you’re bouncing, you could have hurt somebody!” “WHO IS THAT-”

Well, isn’t this familiar? This is the same reaction he’s had to Clock- just less intense. This could indicate that he’s not just untrusting of Clock in particular, he’s wary of all strangers. Unsurprising, considering what I’ve analyzed already, but still worth noting. I could also be reading into this too far and he’s just confused, though. (Also, WWFT does an L dance at Wheel, that’s hilarious.)

3:40 - “EXPLAIN. NOW.” “I don’t know anything about that!” “CLOCK.”

As far as I can tell, he’s confused, so he wants answers and goes to the nearest person he can trust (No Way) and then to the host, who probably SHOULD know the answer. It’s not clear whether this is from distrust of Well, or just him panicking, but honestly it could be both.

4:06 - “Oh nonono end this nightmare, one Clock is ENOUGH!”

Okay, well, this is really funny, but also adds on to the fact that Wheel does not like Clock at all. He even sounds a little afraid here- which could be partly because it’s the elimination and he’s just generally nervous, though it would make sense if after all that’s happened he did fear Clock.

5:20 - “[Not like you’ll be around to hear more, bruh, you’re just kinda stupid, like. Overall.]”

At first, I thought this might have been a flashback of things he’d heard before, but more likely WWFT is saying these things in real-time and Wheel is just halfway tuning it out. (This confirms that WWFT and Wheel have a negative relationship, at least.) As for why he’s tuning it out, he seems sort of… pensive, almost. Lamenting. He knows he’s going to be eliminated (he has for a couple hours, at this point), he just kind of doesn’t want to hear it from somebody he clearly dislikes. It’s also possible he’s worrying about what will happen to him. (He could also be thinking about what WWFT just said earlier about 57, but that’s less likely.)

5:32 - “One… one… one, wh- NO-!” “AaaaAAA any final words, Wheel?” “I’m so mad at ALL OF YOU I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU MADE ME LOSE THE CHALLENGE!”

And here it is, the moment he knew was coming. He’s panicked, now, and doesn’t try to hide it, before reacting in the easiest way he knows how- blame, anger. He’s scared, and lashes out because of it, possibly falling back into the Snowball strategy on instinct. He still doesn’t mean any of it, though, as proven by what happens next:

5:43 - “Okay… I… do have a few final words, actually. The Sun, keep doing what you’re doing, you could be an absolute challenge BEAST!” “Thank you!” “Refill Station, you really just need to calm down sometimes.” “Oh my, I love this place, I love the grass, I love the sky! I love the- NEW FRIENDS!!” “What is even happening?” “You are the FINAL member left on our original team and I want you to know that I wish you luck!” “Oh! Thanks…”

This? He means this. This isn’t just him talking to team members, either- he’d never been teamed with the Sun. To the Sun, he encourages, to Refill Station, he gives advice, and to No Way, he wishes luck. In fact, I even think he had more to say, Clock just interrupted him! He cares, and though he’s used to being the mean one, he wants to make sure the people he likes know this before he’s gone, even if it ruins his image. (After all, he won’t get another chance to.) In this moment, he’s letting himself be vulnerable- something he hasn’t done since the start, and maybe even since before then- and it’s important. This is the crown of his arc. This is who Wheel really is behind all the anger and fear. (It’s just a little sad that he only feels like he can and has to do this when he has no time left.)

6:07 - “So… what now?”

The end. He’s hurting, and terrified, and yet his default response is a furrowed brow- he hides his fear with an angry expression. Even at the very end, he kicks and fights and bares his teeth. (No Way and Refill Station look distraught while they have to watch. No Way even reaches out to him, as if to help.) With everything we know now, this is honestly heartbreaking, but at least I can say his last actions proved my point:

Wheel wasn’t mean or evil. He was scared. And he had every right to be.

Thanks for reading!

[jaegeraether]

Sunsets and footballers (Part 3)

Lucy Bronze x Reader (3)

Masterlist (other parts here)

Jordan had a big smile on her face when she saw YFN. She pulled over at the front of her hotel and put the window down.

“Allo mate, need a lift?”

“I don’t have any money, sorry.”

Jordan opened her mouth in an amused and fake offended ‘O’. “You’re takin’ the mick.”

YFN laughed and slid into the passenger seat. “Do you charge by the hour or…?”

Jordan laughed loudly and slapped her arm. “Too expensive for you, mate.”

She began driving. YFN loved seeing this side of Jordan. The side that seemed much more natural, and much more of the Jordan that Lucy was describing last night.

“Wherrrrrre are we going?”

“I was thinking coffee and then shopping? Also, I’m assuming you don’t have any football gear to wear to the game tomorrow?”

“Hm, you are correct there.”

“Oh, Lucy is going to love seeing you in a Bronze jersey.”

YFN blushed and looked over, surprised.

“What? She loves seeing people in her jersey. Plus, you don’t know anybody else on the team, do you?”

“That’s a negative, and what number is she?”

“2.”

“Oh, my favourite. Okay, let’s get a Bronze jersey. Should we get the home or away kit?”

Jordan laughed. “Wow, look at you! Someone’s been doing their research!”

YFN grinned. “I love blue but the internet says something about it being a bad luck kit…?”

“Oh poppycock. Blue would be perfect with your eyes.”

YFN laughed. “Oh, and I also want an Australian flag.”

Although they only planned on a few hours, the two spent all day together. The atmosphere was great, they both bantered like they’d known each other for years. They wandered around town with iced drinks, stopped for breakfast, then lunch, and Jordan even taught her how to kick a soccer ball on an empty pitch, as well as teaching her some rules. YFN did try to incorporate some tackles to which Jordan gave her red cards for. They collected some free merchandise for the game from people in the club who Jordan knew and managed to find an Australian flag also. The day was fantastic, and of course they ended it on the beach with some fish and chips, Jordan making YFN try it with curry sauce. It confused the hell out of her, but she admitted it was decent.

The next day Jordan picked up YFN again early and they went for lunch. They had decided the day before that they wanted to catch up earlier before they headed to the game. At lunch, Jordan asked YFN about her job and what she did. She was a writer and loved to write fantasy. She’d been working for a newspaper before she left and had a very popular daily column with a lot of fans, but she left because she lost her passion for it. And so, she decided to travel to gain inspiration and get back into writing fantasy with the hope of publishing and travelling the world. Jordan was wowed by this and admitted to wishing she had the creativity for it. About five minutes later though, it seemed she had completely forgotten the conversation though, and had to ask again. YFN laughed, this had happened a few times with her the day before and so she lovingly gave Jordan the nickname ‘Dory’.

The seats for the game were in the perfect spot, just adjacent to where the team benches were. The two were dressed up, laughing at their awkwardness as they made their way down to their seats with arms of popcorn, hotdogs, and drinks. They reached their seats and were greeted by a loud man and his adorable family. YFN didn’t need a degree to figure out who it was. Jordan introduced him as Jorge Bronze, Lucy’s big brother, and his family. He gave Jordan a hug and kiss, and she picked up the kids and gave them kisses also. Jorge dragged YFN into a strong hug they took their seats next to them. It felt like a huge family affair and made YFNs heart swell with happiness. Her family life was not so joyful, and so this was a happy change. A few other friends came over to say hi to Jordan and she introduced them to YFN. They were friends, other football players, or partners of friends.

Shortly before the game, the teams ran out onto the field to warm up. The crowd seemed to yell extra loudly as Lucy came out onto the field, Jorge was the loudest of all. One kid in his arm and a drink in the other, he yelled at the top of his lungs “LUCYLUCY. LUCYLUCY.” Many people were yelling it like a chant, and Jorge recorded it for his social media. YFN couldn’t keep her eyes off of Lucy. She oozed confidence. Her dark hair was up in a messy bun, and she looked a bit different without her glasses, but a good different. YFN bit her lip, thinking her football gear was a welcome sight. She couldn’t help but see the muscles through her clothes, particularly the thigh muscles when she walked. Lucy jogged around without a care, chewing gum and laughing with her teammates. At one point in time, she even sat on a football and just watched as the others warmed up.

“Hey Dory, what’s she doing?” YFN asked Jordan.

Jordan leaned into YFN to yell over the crowd. “Who? Lucy? Oh, her knee is really bad. Like really, really bad. She’s had a lot of surgeries and she’s always in pain. She just tries to keep off it before and after games really.”

As if Lucy had heard them, she looked up and caught sight of her group. Her eyes wandered along her family who were crazily waving until she reached Jordan and YFN. She grinned when she saw YFN wearing her jersey with that little dimpled smile on her face. It suited her, she thought. Being in the crowd with her family and friends, wearing a Bronze jersey, and holding an Australian flag with pride. She and Jordan had painted the flag on their cheeks also, fully supporting their friend. Lucy wanted nothing more than to walk over and talk to them, but she knew she was supposed to be warming up. She settled for a big childish wave and re-joined her team.

Ten minutes later they left the field, Lucy waving at her section and grinning from ear to ear as she left. Soon enough after, the crowd roared as the teams entered the stadium, holding hands with their mascots. Lucy was last in line, swinging arms with her little mascot. They stood for the national anthems and after a quick team photo, the game was underway. YFN couldn’t tell if she was just biased, but it was pretty obvious to her that Lucy was the most intelligent on the field. When she didn’t see an opening she liked, she passed the ball back to the defender next to her who Jordan said was “Millie Bright – acting Captain.” She pushed up the field hard during the first half of the game, and very nearly scoring on several occasions.

“Wow, Lucy is ON FIRE today! LUCYLUCY!” Jorge shouted. “THAT’S MY SISTER!”

“I haven’t seen her play this good is a while!” Jordan shouted in YFN’s ear.

A long shot came towards the goal and Lucy was sprinting from nowhere, her speed was incredible. She leapt, heading the ball and the goalkeeper tipped it. The ball hit the crossbar and bounced back into play. One of Lucy’s teammates were in the perfect position for the rebound and struck the ball, side-netting it. The crowd groaned loudly.

“COME ON LESS!” Jordan yelled encouragingly.

“COME ON RUSSO! WHY IS LUCY OUR BEST STRIKER!” A yell came from behind them in the crowd.

YFN was confused. Jordan saw her confusion. “Lucy is a defender, not a striker. Not even a midfielder. She shouldn’t be the most dangerous striker for us today but she’s just playing so well. The other girls aren’t doing well enough to be honest.”

That made sense to her. Lucy was compensating for her team. All of her discussions with Jordan the day before about Lucy being overly competitive and not liking to lose were becoming more obvious. YFN loved it and joined in on the shouting for England’s number 2.

The whistle blew to signal half time and the scores were still 0-0. During the break the pair took Lucy’s niece and nephew up to the bathroom and brought back more snacks for the Bronze family. They settled back down when YFN noticed that Jordan was tense and uncomfortably shifting.

“What’s the matter?” YFN asked.

Jordan leant over to talk in her ear, not loud enough that anyone else would hear it. “My ex is here. A few rows behind us. She waved at me.”

YFN pulled back with wide, worried eyes. “Oh Jordan, are you okay?”

“I don’t know. We’re still friends and I think she’s a lovely person, but I just feel so uncomfortable right now. She going to want to try and speak to me after this.”

“And you don’t want to?”

“She going to try and speak to me like everything’s normal when it’s not. I don’t think I have the capacity.”

YFN put her arm around Jordan and pulled her close. “You need to tell her that you need space. Because right now, even though you’re replying the bare minimum to her, it’s still coming across like you’re okay to casually chat to her when you know you need your space to heal.”

“You’re right.” She groaned. “I just don’t want to come across nasty at all. She’s such a good person.”

“Protect yourself first. Heal a bit. And only then can you try to have normal conversations with her, hm?”

The teams came back out then, and the second half began. Jordan’s mood picked up as she was lost again in the screaming, but unlike YFN, she was yelling their names.

Lucy played even better the second half, giving so many chances to her teammates to score. She went down, hard at one point, literally tumbling over like a gymnast and the crowd seemed to think this was normal.

“NEVER A GOOD GAME UNLESS LUCY IS FLYING!”

“LUCIA!”

“LUCYLUCY!”

“BRONZEYYYYY!”

She got back up and jogged back over to her spot a bit stiffly. YFN was in awe of her resilience. Eventually the 90 minutes were up and they were given +2 minutes. Just when all seemed like it was about to be over, Lucy scored. And it was beautiful. Just like last time she came sprinting from absolutely nowhere however this time she volleyed the ball into the net, hard. So hard the net must have broken. The stadium erupted, they all leapt to their feet screaming at the top of their lungs. Jordan and YFN grabbed each other, jumping up and down. Popcorn flew all around. Lucy was bombarded by her teammates leaping onto her. Looking up at the big screen, YFN could better see the massive grin spread across her face. Of course she scored.

“GOAL FOR ENGLAND NUMBER 2, LUCY BRONZE!”

The stadium erupted again.

Play resumed for the last 20 seconds, and the whistle ended the match to a stadium still cheering for Lucy.

Jorge was again filming on his phone, kid in one arm and phone in the other. “AW TOO BAD SO SAD.” He cackled as he filmed the other team. YFN laughed at the absurdity of it. She looked around at the packed stadium. It was all insane.

“AND YOUR PLAYER OF THE MATCH IS… LUCY BRONZE!”

Lucy received even more yelling and applauses. She shook hands with both teams and then was dragged into an interview on the pitch while her teammates signed autographs and gave out some of their match worn gear to the crowd. When Lucy finished the interview, she immediately hobbled over to her section and jumped up to lean over the barriers. Jorge and her family got to her first and pulled her into big hugs and kisses. They took some selfies and then Lucy moved over to grab Jordan into an all-encompassing hug.

“I’m so proud of you.” Jordan cried, tears welling. Lucy grinned and pulled back, looking at YFN and opening her arms cheekily. YFN laughed and wrapped her arms around her in a tight, warm hug. Of course, Lucy’s hugs were amazing.

“I’m sorry, I probably don’t smell the best right now.”

“You smell like success to me.” YFN kept holding tight for as long as Lucy was, though Lucy was doing the same. They both gave up eventually so as to not give any wrong impressions to photographers or the crowd around them.

“Nice jersey. Would you like me to sign it?”

“Depends, how much would it be worth?”

Lucy rolled her eyes and took a sharpie from her brother. She shifted YFN’s hair back gently to sign her jersey over her collarbone. She couldn’t help but notice YFNs perfume. The same perfume that was on her hoody when she had given it back a few days before. A shiver went up her spine as she tried to focus on writing neatly.

“Mine too please!” Jordan quipped. Lucy signed her jersey also.

“Oh, and this please!” YFN held up her Australian flag. Lucy grinned, rolling her eyes again and signed her flag. YFN couldn’t help but stare at her, the big grin taking over her face, her hair curling at the sides where she’d been sweating, and those big green eyes. They locked eyes for a moment but both broke contact almost immediately as it affected them both so intensely. No way would they be able to keep it normal in front of so many people. They felt each other shiver and saw each other smile. Nobody seemed to notice.

“I hear there’s a dinner party tonight!” Jorge almost yelled.

“Ohhhh yeah. Family and friends. I told them you’d all be there. You’re all coming, right?” She looked at Jordan a little worried, presumably because her ex would be there.

Jordan looked at YFN. “Stuff it. Yeah, we’ll be there.”

[sae-rins]

His Genuine Behaviour

Itoshi Sae x reader

genre : angst . 708 words

Itoshi sae gets mad at you for trying to talk to him while he's overwhelmed. Mad. Because he lost a game.

You were watching a football match on television that your lover, Itoshi Sae, was participating in. Defeated.

You were aware that you would be met with his frankness, which you loathe to the core, as soon as he got home.

Although you've become used to it and are fully aware that's just simply how he behaves—I mean, he does it constantly, right? 

You thought so.

Everytime he does it, it gets you unhappy, but this time he wouldn't go to far, right?

You were expecting him to be home soon, and you knew that if you said something wrong. It will make him furious. You had to put yourself together once he gets home, and comfort him so he feels better.

While you were still pondering, the sound of keys jangling at your door interrupted you.

I'm home. said at a cold tone.

Welcome home, Sae! I watched your match and you did great as always!

Like always, you welcomed him with warmth, so it wasn't clear that something bothered you. With all the worrying about what might happen, your heart was already aching.

Shut up. You're wrong. I didn't do "great", I let the ball slip and it got stolen by our rival. Stop acting like you know anything about this shit. So keep your mouth shut...things would be way better if you did.

He raised his voice. 

Even though this occurs frequently, you were still frightened. As you anticipated, he chose to step over the line this time. You were distressed and only attempting to console him when you started to wonder what went wrong. You merely just wanted to assist. You weren't even aware that your grimaced face was streaming with tears. You just stayed silent cause you knew if you let out another word, things will go down. He didn't even bother to look at your pitiful face. He just went to the room pretending as if nothing happened.

And there you are, resting on the uncomfortable couch crying and distressing. He may be soundly dozing off on the comfortable bed you previously shared with him, he's not even aware of what just occured, or was he? You questioned whether he truly cared about you, whether he was considering what just happened, and whether he was indeed just dozing off. Does he even cry as much as you do? With countless thoughts racing through your head, you hoped your thoughts were true. Because if he genuinely done such things, it would indicate that he really cared.

You felt on edge, your eyes grew swollen, your heart ached, and your rage rose at the mere thought of all of things. Even though you were furious with him or experiencing other negative feelings in response to what had happened, you knew you would still end up forgiving him if he apologized and made a change. Although you are deeply in love with the man, you have often questioned if he feels the same way about you. Your eyes were sore and swollen from crying that you fell asleep.

You woke up, He was clutching you closely when you awoke with a heavy weight lying over you. You shifted to look at him; he had closed eyes, red, sore eyes, and possibly damp skin from grieving. You combed through his hair that was clinging to his face from tears and moisture. Now that you were facing him, you nearly forgot about what had just happened as you admired his beauty.

He spoke in a groggy manner after gently opening his eyes.

(Y/n), I apologize for what I have said earlier; I should have controlled my emotions. I'm very sorry, but I was too upset earlier. You are free to leave me if you feel that I have crossed over the line this time.

You commented

I absolutely understand what you're saying, Sae ; that's just the way you are. You did go too far, but it's okay, Sae, I'll always be forgiving. Sae, I adore you, and I would never abandon you. You have my undying love.

Can we share a bed to sleep? I want to sleep with you because it is so cramped in here. Without you, the bed feels incredibly empty.

I see, sure!!

you smiled softly

His sigh of relief came as a reply, also smiling same as you are.

END.......

I'm so so so sorry about my bad writing! It is my first time after all! But I hope you guys enjoyed this! Thank you (⁠〒⁠﹏⁠〒⁠)

I haven't proofread this so, PLEASE CORRECT ME IF THERE ARE ANY MISTAKES!!

[creative-heart]

"Love's Blossom"| Enzo Vogrincic

Chapter 3: “Hope’s Flicker”

Lucia’s Notes: First off, I wanna say thank you for holding on and waiting for me, this whole moving thing has been way harder than I expected, and trying to balance work and this new life and city hasn’t been easy. But Alass! I have been able to get back into writing! 

CONTENT WARNINGS: This one has major warnings for miscarriages; fighting/arguing and general tension (I’m sorry but angst is what I do best LOL). Grief and mourning. I promise it will get better, probably next chapter!  Word Count: 2.7K

Song for this chapter: "I will carry you"- Selah

As the days turned into weeks and the weeks into months, both Enzo and Y/N could feel the tension growing tougher and tougher between them. They were on the fifth cycle of trying to get pregnant and each month, the single blue line would dig a deeper well between them, the sex started to feel like a duty they had to fulfill, a routine, they were certainly not enjoying it anymore. When they looked at yet another negative test one afternoon and Y/N excited the bathroom without uttering a single word, it all started to go downhill. They were both anxious, irritated, and, overall sad that it had been almost six months since they had started trying to have a baby with no success. Y/N had even started wondering if maybe there was something wrong with her. 

Arguments over the smallest things were not strange now when they had never had a serious fight before in all their years together. One evening, as he had been trying to do all the same to try and get his girlfriend out more Enzo walked into their bedroom and smiled “Hey love, I was thinking maybe we could go to the movies and then for some dinner? the Thai restaurant you love has added some new dishes to their menu and I thought we could try them?” Y/N glared at him from her curled-up position in bed putting her phone down for just a second.

“it’s almost 9 pm Enzo, really you wanna go out now? you know I need to sleep well if we want to try and get any chances of having a baby, and Thai food? it’s spicy, same thing! are you really on board with this? or are you trying to sabotage it? Just let me know so I can stop fucking worrying about it!” The brunette snapped at the older guy who stood at the doorway looking at her blinking. “You truly have gone mad woman, I was just trying to get you out of that fucking bed and showered, you smell, you haven’t gotten up in three days and I’m fucking worried, but have it your way! I’m sleeping in the guest room tonight! I’m tired of being your damn punching ball! Do you think this doesn’t affect me? I want to have a baby just as much as you do, and it hurts me seeing you this sad, so if you wanna blame someone, blame God, the Universe, or whatever you want, but not me!” 

The raven-haired guy turned around and walked to the guest room taking a deep breath, he wondered if he had maybe taken it a bit too far, but the truth was he was tired of being at the receiving end of his girlfriend’s anger. As much as he could understand how she must be feeling and how draining this whole process had been for her, he knew he didn’t deserve this, he’d been as supportive as possible, and he had put his sadness to the side to hold her in her worst moments. Enzo was tired, if this didn’t work soon, he wouldn’t put it past them to either look at other options or end up separating.

The days went by slowly, and Y/N looked at her calendar once more frowning before looking at her boyfriend, things hadn’t been the best since that argument, but they both tried putting on a brave face “I should have gotten my period a week ago…should I?” she bit her lip hard, the truth was she knew she should test, but she couldn’t take another negative. Enzo looked up from his book and looked at her “A week? I think it’s worth it, I’ll look at it for you if you want me to.” He kissed her head before getting up and offering her a hand. Y/N took a deep breath before taking his hand. Just that morning they had been talking about the possibility of visiting a fertility doctor, maybe there was something wrong with them and they needed some help to get pregnant.

The younger went by the steps mechanically, she had done this way too many times these past few months. After taking the test she put it back down on the bathroom sink counter and covered it up before walking out of the bathroom and looking at her boyfriend with pleading eyes. “I can’t look” He nodded and kissed her forehead long “I’ve got you baby” he whispered and walked into the room closing the door behind his back. He took a deep breath, it wasn’t like it was easy for him, but he would take all the pain in the world if it meant easing the weight off the love of his life’s shoulders at least a little bit. The Uruguayan stared at the test as it processed, he knew they took three minutes, but he’d go insane if he did anything else. He blinked repeatedly when he saw the result start to show on the little screen, was he hallucinating? maybe he was, but he saw the two lines clear as day. Enzo grabbed the test and swung the bathroom door open to find a crunched-down Y/N on the other end of the hallway chewing at her lips. She looked up when she heard the door and sighed seeing the tears in her boyfriend’s eyes and thinking that yet again it was negative and letting herself slide down the wall “Maybe we should just stop trying and go see an adoption agency or something” she mumbled.

Enzo smiled big at her “Oh, stop trying we will..but because I’m scared I’ll hurt my baby if I poke into you with my dick…it’s positive my love!” he chuckled letting the tears roam freely down his face, Y/N’s face shot up when she heard him saying those words. “You’re not joking, are you? please tell me it’s not another one of your jokes because I’ll kill you if it is” The girl took the hand being offered to her to get up from the floor and looked at the stick Enzo showed her, her breath catching in the back of her throat, eyes wide open with shock and surprise as she kept her eyes glued to the two blue lines on the screen “I’m pregnant” she whispered “this is actually happening”, her hands flying to her stomach instinctively as protection.

After the initial shock had worn off and they cuddled on the couch, Y/N laying in Enzo’s arms as his hands rubbed her lower tummy gently she whispered, “I don’t think I wanna tell anyone yet, I want to go see my doctor, make sure everything is okay and once we’re out of the first trimester, let people in on our little secret, I want this to be our moment”. Enzo hummed softly keeping his eyes closed as they were, the same smile he had when he found out still plastered on his face, “Alright my love, whatever makes you feel more secure and at ease, I’m here to support your every decision, you know that”.

After what felt like an eternity, they were finally called in by the doctor. Y/N explained the whole situation when she found out, when her last period had been, and how the journey had been going the whole show. As her doctor nodded taking notes on her laptop Enzo sat beside the brunette his hand never leaving her knee as his leg bounced anxiously. “Okay, so by the dates you gave me, I’m assuming you might be around 6 weeks along, but I wanna get an ultrasound to be sure and to hear the baby’s heartbeat as well, make sure everything’s going as it should and give you both the first glance at your little pea because that’s around the size this little one will be right now”. She guided them both over to the stretcher and handed Y/N a gown as she turned the machine on “I’m going to go grab some more paper towels while you get changed into the robe okay?” she said exiting the room. Y/N nodded and when she was gone proceeded to take her clothes off from the waist down and put on the gown before laying down on the bed “Wait a second, why are you butt naked?” Enzo frowned confused, his brow deepening at his girlfriend’s laughter “from what I’ve read, baby is still too small to be seen with a normal outdoor ultrasound, so the doctor will have to use this little thing here and insert it in my lady bits to be able to get a look at our little one” she pointed to the internal prove. As she looked at the tan-skinned man’s face her laughter got louder seeing his horrified face.

Shortly after, the doctor returned and started the ultrasound checking everything was as it should. “Okay, images seem to confirm what I thought, you’re around six weeks along, embryo looks healthy, let’s try and hear the heartbeat okay?” she turned on the sound on the machine, and sure enough, a rapid thud came flowing out of the machine. Enzo, who hadn’t let go of Y/N’s hand for one second since the ultrasound started, kissed the back of her hand before quickly wiping his tears, that was his baby’s heartbeat, a real baby, half him, half the love of his life, he couldn’t be happier.  

As the days went by, Y/N was surely feeling the symptoms of this pregnancy, her boobs were killing her, she felt tired all the time, she was starving and nauseated all at the same time so everything she ate made her feel sick. Most of her days were spent laying on the couch watching TV or in bed curled with a good book. Enzo preferred it that way, not like he enjoyed seeing her feel bad, but her being lying down gave him a sense of peace about her and the baby being okay which he enjoyed.

Things were going smoothly, even their relationship had gotten stronger, they were both ecstatic and over the moon about this little one on the way. They knew it was still early to consider being out of the blue, but they couldn’t help but start fantasizing about what the baby would look like, if they would have Enzo’s brown eyes, or Y/N’s hazel ones, who their features would take after, what the baby’s temper would be like. So when around Y/N’s eleventh week of gestation, Enzo had to get out of town for a week or so to do a photo shoot for a new movie he was going to start working on the brunette encouraged him to go, she was going to be just fine on her own.

One hot summer afternoon Y/N hurried through the aisles of the grocery store, her shopping list clutched tightly in her hand. The fluorescent lights buzzed overhead, casting a harsh glow on the rows of products. She had been feeling a bit off all day but chalked it up to the usual pregnancy symptoms. After all, at eleven weeks along, she was still adjusting to the constant waves of nausea and fatigue that had been bothering her for almost three months.

As she reached for a box of cereal, a sudden, sharp pain pierced her abdomen. She gasped, doubling over and clutching her stomach. The pain was intense, like a knife twisting deep inside her. She took a few shallow breaths, trying to steady herself. “Are you okay, ma’am?” A concerned voice broke through her haze of pain. A young store employee. who couldn’t be older than 19  stood nearby, his eyes wide with worry.Y/N nodded weakly, though she wasn’t sure she believed it herself. “Just a cramp, I think,” she managed to say, forcing a smile. But as she straightened up, she felt something wet and warm trickling down her leg. Her heart pounded in her chest as she glanced down, her breath catching in her throat at the sight of blood seeping down her sundress. Panic surged through her, and she grabbed the edge of the shelf to steady herself.

“I need to get to the hospital,” she said, her voice trembling. The employee’s face paled, and he quickly called for help. Within minutes, another employee arrived with a wheelchair and helped Y/N into it. They wheeled her to the front of the store, where an ambulance was already pulling up. The paramedics moved quickly, transferring her to a stretcher and into the back of the ambulance and all she could think of was needing Enzo by her side. Tears streamed down Y/N’s face as the sirens wailed, the pain in her abdomen growing worse with each passing second. The paramedics spoke in low, urgent tones, their faces grim. She clutched her belly, whispering prayers for her baby, fear gripping her heart.

At the ER, the chaos was immediate. Nurses and doctors swarmed around her, asking questions and starting IV lines. Y/N could barely focus on their words, her mind spinning with terror and grief she didn’t know when, but amid all that chaos, she could utter to the nurse beside her to call her emergency contact on her phone. They whisked her into an exam room, and a kind-faced doctor leaned over her, explaining that they needed to do an ultrasound. The room fell silent as the doctor moved the wand over her abdomen. Y/N stared at the monitor, her vision blurred by tears. She knew, even before the doctor spoke in the deepest pit of her heart, what the outcome would be. The absence of the tiny, flickering heartbeat on the screen confirmed her worst fear.

“I’m so sorry,” the doctor said softly, his eyes full of compassion. “You’re having a miscarriage.” The brunette wasn’t even sure she understood English when the doctor spoke, his words sounded foreign and distant.Y/N’s world shattered in that moment. The room seemed to close in around her, the sounds of the hospital fading to a distant hum. She felt a sob rise in her throat, and she let it out, a wail of pure anguish that echoed through the sterile room. The nurse beside her squeezed her hand, offering what little comfort she could.

Hours later, Y/N lay in a hospital bed, the pain in her body now dulled by medication but the ache in her heart raw and relentless. The room was quiet, save for the occasional beep of the monitor. She stared at the ceiling, feeling hollow and empty. The loss was overwhelming, a black hole of grief and pain. She had never imagined this could happen, had never prepared for this kind of heartbreak. The future she had envisioned for herself and her family had been ripped away in an instant. That’s when she felt the tight grip on her hand and the familiar warmth inside her when Enzo kissed her forehead long, he wasn’t even trying to hide his tears. As soon as he received that call from an unknown number hours earlier, he knew, he knew in his gut something was wrong with Y/N, and when he heard the nurse say in that grim tone the words girlfriend, hospital, baby, he knew, he couldn’t hear anything else he hopped on the first plane that would take him home and 5 hours earlier, he was next to the love of his life, she looked as if she wasn’t there, it was like he was holding a mannequin’s hand, but he was there and Enzo knew she could feel him beside her. “I’m sorry for leaving you, I should have never gone” he whispered closing his eyes, he felt so guilty about it, as if this somehow was his fault.

But even in the depths of his sorrow, a small, fragile part of him held onto hope. Enzo knew the road ahead would be long and difficult, especially for Y/N, but he was determined to make sure they would survive this, to find a way to heal. For now, though, he allowed themselves to grieve, to mourn the loss of the little life they had already loved so dearly.

P.S: This got way darker and personal than I had anticipated, but I like the way it came out. I will try and get to writing the next one today as well, to make sure it gets on here ASAP because I don’t want to leave you all on a down note for too long! I promise the flood of fluff coming your way with this will make up for this darker tone. As usual, your likes, comments and reblogs are super nice and encouraging to receive, I will not ask for a certain amount, but I do really enjoy the interactions. If you wanna be part of the taglist, please just comment so down here and I'll make sure to add you to it. 😘😘😘

Taglist: @madame-fear @lastflowrr @koiibiito @luceracastro @candycanes19 @castawaycherry @deepinsideyourbeing @cyliarys-starlight @lxdyred @chiquititamia @expensivechimmy @nperoconelcositoarriba

[lovebvni]

something i’m struggling with

getting in my own head.

i’ve always done this, ever since i was in middle school playing volleyball. i’ve got in my own head.

if we were down even a few points i would blame myself. “i could’ve saved the ball” “i could be better if i did __” “if only i had dived” “i should of went to the end line”

what i forgot is there are other players in the game, and i can’t take their faults all as my own. we all need it equally pull our own weight, and it’s not wrong to think someone should be doing more if you feel like you’re doing a lot.

but that isn’t even my issue right now. the thing right now is i have a negative energy spot in my chest that is fucking me up. and i’ve finally found out what is causing it — my past and my unforgiving spirit i have towards it. now in ONE DAY, ONE FUCKING DAY, i have gotten a lot of that baggage out by doing what i do best — talking to myself and saying i forgive and let go.

but now, there is one part that i don’t think i can do alone.

this part i have to be pulled back for a moment — i need someone to sub me in. maybe i need to cry, maybe i need to rest, but i need support and a break. that doesn’t mean the game is over and ofc it’s not over for me; it just means that i have needs as much as the next person. my coach was the one who would do this for me. and i would get mad at her at the time, but right as i hit the bench i would cry. and that’s not me being weak, it’s me getting my nerves out.

and maybe that’s what i need to do now. get my nerves out and cry, but i don’t know. i’ve always loved the support of friends, and being in a group, but when it came to group projects, i had a vision of what i wanted done, who was gonna do what, etc. when someone didn’t do that it would piss me off, but i needed to get over it — and i did, eventually.

what i’m trying to say is sometimes i put too much pressure on myself and i need a break, and only i or someone higher than me can give me that. a time to regroup and have support of my friends.

that’s it. i’m done talking. sure im still frustrated but i’ll deal with it. i love you guys! hope this helps someone <3