#and then literally never make any
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Normal behavior when I scroll thru my tiktok saved sounds and completely zone out for like 30 seconds while envisioning an animatic/edit and then click the next one and do the same thing over and over again
#i save all these sounds and music as ref#and then never do anything w them#it cant live up to whats in my head 🥺#also i dont make edits sob sob but they look so good in my head#but literally since making ocs ive constantly hoarded videos as ref#and then literally never make any#maybe ill make some for vett/onso sometime#but lmao i mostly imagine them as my beloved DHE(main trio of ocs 🤭)#<- their characterization as an ot3 is soooo fun#i think every ot3 needs two crazy personalities and then one very chill normal person#but god i seriously have so many saved that i can perfectly envision#but ill never draw them prob </3#also say what you will abt tiktok but god its helped me discover so much good niche music#i go thru this saved list and its just like wow these all are bangers jfc#catie.rambling.txt
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🧼: “D’ya think I cuid take my gear off first, Si?”
💀: “Negative.”
#grabby hands always always grabby hands#if i dont draw them clinging onto eachother for dear life know that Something Is Wrong and you Must Send Help my way#anyways this is simon after literally like a week without soap#they are insufferable and everyone on the base knows to steer clear of any hallway after soap and ghost are reunited bc… of reasons#they never make it to their rooms in time#call of duty#simon ghost riley#simon riley#soap mactavish#john soap mactavish#soapghost#cod art#my art#ghostsoap#cod
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"don't make it political!" .... what proportion of death and suffering must occur before politics are involved. if this isn't political, what is even the point of any politics, ever. of democracy. the words are "by the people for the people." if i am going to be left alone by my elected representatives to "figure it out" - to undergo damage, hardship, fear. what the fuck did i elect them for. what was their job. the entire point is that they handle this shit. this is why we were supposed to be electing leaders.
poverty is political. misogyny is political. gun control is political. climate change is political. how much aid a community gets is political. what the fuck are you talking about. it's been political this whole fucking time.
#to be deleted probably#i think aid should be REQUIRED to be bipartisan#ppl shouldn't suffer bc of how they vote. sorry. i'm never gonna be like ''ah yah x area deserves it''#..... they're people. they're human people. what the fuck is wrong with you.#this is nonspecific bc it's the same argument every time it involves things the right wing could have prevented#oh she died in childbirth bc of abortion laws? well nows not the time to make it#well he died bc his boss made him work during the tornado? well let's not make this#ohhh they died in a school shooting? thoughts and prayers let's all not make#there's a big fucking natural disaster that is strong evidence for oncoming ecological collapse?#welllllllll leTS NOT MAKE IT FUCKING POLITICAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11#WHEN WAS THE TIME???????????#PREVENTION HAS ALWAYS BEEN BETTER THAN WOUND CARE.#> stabs u . oh sorry that wasn't political#but also good luck in the hospital good luck with insurance good luck with medicine#good luck with disability support good luck w/ur job and taking time off good lucK!!!#refusing to allow politics into the matter means they get to shrug their shoulders and absolutely#refuse any fucking ACCOUNTABILITY#THEN WHAT WAS THE JOB FOR??? WHY DID I GIVE THEM THIS JOB???#WHAT IS LITERALLY THE POINT OF ELECTED OFFICIALS
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Appleseed PDA montage to save you from reading endless pages of unimportant politics that don't amount to anything
also because I have nothing better to do, I'm bored, I'm moody, my gaming laptop is still broken so no BG3, and it's too late at night to start drawing after doing animation clean-up all day.
#Manga#Appleseed#Shirow Masamune#80s#This is literally every single one of these moments in the entirety of the manga's run#including bonus material#There's some great character writing hidden among all the infodumping and technobabble as well#But like I said before all it accomplishes is to make you frustrated#Because despite being written so well#Masamune was more interested in waxing philosophical than actually giving his characters the attention they deserve#Despite them displaying an insane amount of depth and complexity whenever they are able to#it's a very rare case where the characters are EXTREMELY well written and almost every moment they are on screen is amazingly well done#But the manga keeps demanding you listen to completely different side characters talk about politics for endless pages#while at the same time none of these politics have any consequence or relevance to the actual stories that happen on screen.#So it ends up with the majority of the manga is like listening to some guy you don't know on the bus reading the headlines of a newspaper#at you about political tension between two countries you have never heard of and will never feature in your life again#How do you write such great and well written characters and then be completely disinterested in actually putting them on screen?????
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De-age fic, but good parents AU
Something de-ages danny, not a clue what exactly, but it does. BUT, danny had already had a good reveal with his parents, so he goes home and they see him de-aged and immediately get to work figuring out how to get him back to normal.
Life goes on as normal, its just that danny's body is about ten years younger. He still has to go to school (with a story that the thing that de-aged danny was aimed at fenton and phantom jumped in to take the hit but it got both of them - or open secret au, take your pick), still has chores, still has to deal with the ghosts that cause problems.
With barely a pause to question 'is that still danny?' everyone continues as normal.
Thing is, there's the typical information firewall we like to invoke to explain why the justice league doesnt know about amity. It blocks ghosts, Phantom, infinite realms, liminality and ecto-contamination, you name it.
What it doesnt block? Baby Hero.
As in, now that Phantom is tiny, everyone and their dog is taking pics and recording phantom to coo all over him on social media. Everyone is enjoying how adorable he is while it lasts. Even the rogues are playing nicer to soak it all up.
The justice league is concerned. Apparently there's some new hero (phantom has been active for over a year by now, minimum) operating in the midwest, and he is literally preschool age. Even the Robins didn't start that young! Who is raising this kid? What are they thinking?!
Its frustratingly hard to get any more intel about phantom (because the firewall is still catching everything else about him), so theyre gonna have to send someone in blind to scope out the situation.
Who do they send? You can decide, but i vote they put together a team: batman (wfa characterization) because he knows how to handle child vigilantes, wonder woman because everyone loves wonder woman and she's a good voice of reason, and zatanna (NOT constantine! Zatanna is more child friendly) to cover magical bases in case this is something like a captain marvel situation.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#never seen a deage prompt with good fentons so now ive made one#can be an everyone knows au if you want#i imagined the parents have known and worked with phantom for a while before he got deaged#but you can make the deage the cause of the reveal too i guess#giw may have been the ones to set up the firewall#but if they did then the fentons keep them driven out of amity park#giw can only watch from the outskirts or risk getting mowed over by the gav#or sniped by literally any civilian because literally everyone is kitted out with fenton tech by now#phantom only really handles the biggest threats by this point#or you can ignore this worldbuilding and go a different direction
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people who act like batman isn't "judge jury and executioner" because he doesn't kill people are like. genuinely so funny to me because. they're very obviously thinking of "executioner" as like. the stereotypical guy with axe who chops people heads off, and not, yknow, the literal definition of the idiom itself, which is about someone who has the ability to judge and then subsequently punish someone unilaterally. which is quite literally what batman does.
he has the ability to decide what is a "crime" to him, he is the one who decides whether people are guilty of those crimes, and he is the one who executes their punishment. the severity of the punishment doesn't matter - he is unaccountable to anyone else, and indeed is allowed to commit as many crimes as needed to reach his arbitrary ideal of "justice."
the ideal of batman is this: a man who is so fundamentally changed by an act of senseless violence that he takes it upon himself to fight back against the rot and corruption in the world. he does this not through political activism, not through ridding himself of his wealth in favor of a greater good, not through community outreach, but through an individualistic fantasy of being a hero.
and you'll say: charlie, but he does do that !!! he donates his money all the time, he funds social programs, hospitals, orphanages, gets people jobs -
and i will say this: so why don't things get better?
because here's the base of it. gotham, at its core, can't get better. no matter what bruce wayne does, there will always be more crime, more villains, more death, more people for batman to beat up in back alleys. because that's what sells.
reoffending rates don't matter in gotham, prison reform doesn't matter in gotham, what actually causes crime doesn't matter in gotham because that doesn't sell books.
and so here it is; dc has unintentionally created a world where batman can't win, but can't be wrong, and where thousands of nameless, faceless, only-created-to-die civilians must be pushed into the meat grinder that is gotham, to fuel bruce wayne's angst and vindicate his constant, tireless, noble fight against the forces of evil.
and then: a new robin, who is poor and who's parents are dead or gone because of this cycle; who is happy go-lucky and hated by editors and fans for being robin, for not being dick grayson, for being poor.
and this robin is written, unintentionally or not, to be angry at the ways in which batman's (the narrative's) idea of justice is detached from its victims. bruce seems perfectly fine to allow countless unnamed women to be at risk from garzonas in his home country, yet robin is the one who is portrayed as irrational and violent.
this robin is not detached from gotham in the way bruce wayne is: this robin is a product of gotham.
(and here's the thing. you can't punch aids. you can't fight a disease with colorful fights and nifty gadgets. and how would robin dying from aids add to batman's story; it would call into question the systemic changes that haven't been made in gotham. how does a child get aids, in batman's city?)
so robin dies, and then bruce (the narrative) spends the next couple of decades blaming it on him. it is jason's fault; he was reckless, he just ran in, he thought it was all a game. if only bruce had seen what was coming, if only he could have known that jason wasn't rich enough or smart enough or liked enough to be robin.
batman gets a little more violent, a little more self destructive. he hurts people more and almost (!!) kills a couple guys. this is bad because it's self destructive and "not who he is." it is not bad because batman should not be able to just beat people up when he's angry.
and then he gets a shiny new robin - who is all the things jason "wasn't": rich and smart and rational and he doesn't put who batman is into question. batman and robin are partners, and jason is a grave and a cautionary tale, and (crucially here) never right.
the joker kills thousands and it doesn't matter because they were written to be killed.
batman beats up thousands and it doesn't matter because they were written to be criminals.
and then jason comes back, and nothing has changed. there is a batman and a (shiny! rich!) robin and the joker kills thousands. (because it sells)
and jason is angry - he has been left unavenged - his death has meant nothing, just as willis' had, just as catherine's had, just as gloria's had, just as -
thousands. ten of thousands. hundreds of thousands. written to be killed.
but one of them gets to come back.
and he is angry - not only at the joker, but at bruce (the narrative) - because why is the joker still alive (when thousands-)
here is the thing - jason todd is right. not because the death penalty is good, not because criminals deserve to die, not because of everything he says -
but because of what he calls into question. why is the joker alive?
because he sells books.
and dc has written a masterful character, through no fault of their own, because jason knows what is wrong, and he knows who is at fault - batman. (the narrative)
so the argument that bruce can't kill because he's not judge jury and executioner; the argument that jason is a cop or that jason is insane or that jason is in the wrong here; they hold no weight.
batman can't kill the joker because the joker sells comic books.
and jason can't kill the joker because the joker sells comic books.
so he will beg and plead and grovel - he will betray everything that is himself, he will forsake his family and his city and kill himself - just so that bruce (the narrative) will let the joker die.
he was condemned to death by an audience, and after he came back he has spent his whole life looking us in the eyes and screaming, asking, pleading; why is the joker still alive?
why are thousands, tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands (the number doesn't matter, see, because they're just a number. not people. not real.) why are we expendable for his story? why did i have to die just for nothing to change?
and the answer is money. and the answer is the batman can never be wrong. and the answer is shitty writing. and the answer is -
nothing jason can ever change.
which is the worst of it all. he is a victim with no power, and no one else in the world can see it. he is raging and crying and screaming at his father and his writers and you - and it doesn't matter. jason doesn't matter. and he knows it.
#yes btw i am saying that jason is subconsciously aware he's a comic book character. being dead for literal decades and then coming back#to a different and yet fundamentally unchanged world will do that to you#this is also a huge reason i have beef with people who equate jason's death with any other persons. like sorry. no#jason *died.* forever. he was dead dead. in heaven dead.#he died in the sense that he was never supposed to come back.#your 'heart stopped' or 'was dead for maybe 3 months irl' literally does. not. compare.#also when i say tim is everything jason isn't; by including smart i don't mean jason wasn't smart#i mean tim is *written* to be explicitly in contrast to jason#and by making him a 'genius' the narrative implies his intelligence is directly in contrast to jason's#therefore implying jason wasn't 'smart'#surprisingly little tim hate in this. am i growing from my hate? (no. i wrote a couple paragraphs but it didn't fit. haters stay strong💪)#jason todd#anti batman#red hood#batman meta#batman#anti bruce wayne#bruce wayne
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Prompt:
It’s not that Jason forgot, per se.
But between smuggling a toddler out of the League of Assassins, trekking halfway across the world, and finding a suitable hiding place that’s also child friendly… well, it kind of slipped his mind that he’s supposed to be… dead.
Something that comes back to bite him in the ass when he takes Dami out for some ice cream and just so happens to run into non other than Brucie-fucking-Wayne
#look I’ve found a new fave trope and it’s Brucie Wayne having to keep up his act while internally LOSING HIS SHIT#Jason isn’t very into the whole revenge thing here#his mind is 85 parts ‘keep Dami safe’ 5 parts ‘kill joker asap’ and 10 parts ‘avoid bats at any cost’#Jason doesn’t know who Damian’s father is#dealer’s choice if Jason establishes himself as Dami’s dad or older brother#his build certainly makes him look old enough#if you don’t look at his baby face lol#Jason runs into Brucie and goes straight into survival mode#Damian who is very observant for a toddler immediately clocks Brucie as THREAT based on Jason’s reaction#Brucie blue screens and desperately tries not to lose Jason in the crowd#jason is absolutely trying to lose Brucie in the crowd#while clutching Damian like his life depends on it#for all he knows it does#the visceral terror that your pseudo dad will take away your little brother/baby#Bruce who just wants to know if he’s hallucinating again: W A I T#jason who is terrified of being put in Arkham for killing people: no FUCKING WAY#hm maybe Jason plays the ‘I’m not Jason’ game again#it’s not gonna hold for long#but Bruce absolutely thinks that Damian is Jason’s bio child for a while and he’s on the WARPATH#Jason was sixteen when he died and never showed any interest in dating so literally every red flag is waving in brucie’s mind simultaneousl#or maybe Jason manages to get away and all Brucie is left with is the memory of his supposedly dead son#running away from him#and clutching a tiny kid#prompts#jason todd#batfamily#Damian wayne#batdad#brucie wayne
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I always double check the golden claw. you know, just in case it's changed in the last 13 years.
#bear moth owl#literally it is never not bear moth owl#and yet i check anyways yk. just in case todd wants to be funny#skyrim#im doing yet another iron man challenge bc i accidentally deleted my other one :( while mass deleting#(i save individual files bc they corrupt so often/easy)#(but this means i have to manually delete stuff so i can FIND ANYTHING)#(rip sithia the bosmer. your entire save was broken but rip anyways)#anyways rn im a khajiit named rozita#not the dragonborn and not even in any specific timeline. just kind of an adventuring kitty#i tired to make her look like a white tiger but the khajiit fur only managed to be like. very light grey :(
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Homesickness is where the heart is
#my art#tea n ink#favourite scene in the entire game#i have SO MUCH respect for the dev for keeping the missing country a complete mystery#like an event only ever comedically referred to as “the incident”#like a horror movie monster you never fully see#i want to know so badly and i hope im NEVER TOLD#the fact you never find out and both the player and siffrin just gotta DEAL WITH THAT#is infinitely more interesting than anything any writer could say was canon#also can i say?#the importance that someone's religion culture food and language has to literally every other character#makes the fact siffrin cannot have that and cannot get it back HURT SO MUCH#AND AND AND#the fact that all of it is so intuitive and familiar to him that he can ALMOST grasp it but never enough to make it hurt less is just *mwah#ISAT#in stars and time#siffrin#isat siffrin#isat#isat fanart#artists on tumblr#isat tea n ink#isat spoilers
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🧙♀️🐈⬛
#xmen#avengers#xmen comics#avengers comics#wanda maximoff#scarlet witch#francesca the cat#ORGANIC FRANCESCA POSTING FROM SNAP ??more likely than you think..#snap sketches#did i doodle this just so i could rant in my tags. maybe.#i will talk about this doodle first tho ... cause i still like to ramble bout my own stuff....#uhhh i just wanted to draw wanda :) and fran :) yeah thats it jvAELKJEKLAJ#thought itd be cutesy ... they can be friends ... if mags will be apprehensive about the cat wanda will be the exact opposite#its only natural ..... ok Unrelated Vent/Ramble Time#i was very mad when i started drawing this but ive mellowed out considerably... still i love complaining..#ill delete my venty ranty tags in the morn .. for now i need my piece read .. or at least out there for my sanity ..#anyways tldr we all know i hate my mom and i very much do not like using 'hate' so lightly when i hate I Hate#like you know the hate speech from I Have No Mouth yeah literally me. literally me about my mom#most days i tolerate her because she barely exists in the same room as i for more than thirty seconds#but tonight. Ugh. note to self remember to never ask her for anything again. as is what ive said for years..#what a fool i was to think that would ever change. THAT in of itself is whatever yk her being irritating when it comes to. Being A Parent#but then she had the gall to start talking about my dad like oh my god see NOW im getting mad again#nothing makes me angrier than her talking about my dad like. UGH ill cap it there so i dont catch on fire somehow#also ill feel compelled to drop three novel's worth of lore and i dont have tags for that. also this is just supposed to be a cute doodlejV#i had plans to draw something else that was cutesy but then i got mad and couldnt focus on it#so now we're here... in any case bye bye. ill try to continue that other idea..#then i wanna focus on another thing.... if i make any progress on That afterwards it'll be a miracle
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/fad7a921918858099b17af90f7591e3f/bf1db582d53fe40a-f3/s540x810/a4f23a8bdc698eb346082676679ff0f9aab8d7e6.jpg)
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i want a fic about them on my desk by thursday. capiche? /j
#blackleg is blacklegginggggg#sanji was destined to be a fave of mine bc he has shitty hair and long legs. that is quite literally all it takes#zosan#sanzo#my art#also if the number 12 has any significance in op i wouldnt know bc again i quite literally have not watched a single ep or read a single ch#i am just here for the gays#anyways luffy is the goalie on zoro's team (he knows and admires sanji bc ofc he does. he likes to try some of sanji's skating poses)#and nami owns the rink they all practice at#robin is the physical therapist/massage therapist zoro reticently ponders to abt his crus--rivalry. rivalry#in between trying not to scream bc holy fuck robin just dug her elbow into his glutes that he never stretches#twist could b zoro thinks robin only works for the team but turns out she works on sanji too (who is much better abt stretching but has som#sort of injury that knocked him out of competition while he recovers maybe) and he also prob talks about his cr-rival who thinks hockey is#harder than figure skating to her to. shes prob interchangable with chopper or maybe the pair work together#nami is probably a former figure skater but being a rink owner and skating instructor makes more money that competitions alone sooooo.....#i wish i had clever thoughts for the other strawhats but alas i do not. apologies usopp et al. i am not cool enough#edit: pls see @milfjf’s additional tags talking abt the other strawhats bc they’re RIGHT
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state of deltarune theories is so so bad cuz they all try to connect back to the theme of escapism without noticing that that theme isn't even in deltarune.
#the personification of noelle's overbearing mother follows her around throughout the cyber world.#and she spends the entire game scared and confused and alone. until the very end where she's forced to stand up to that figure that scares#-so much. not because she went through any eye opening adventure where she learned to be more brave-#-but because her friends were literally about to die.#she didn't grow at her own pace. she was forced to speak up at the last moment.#kris gets a weird effigy of their brother forced on them as a romantic interest without their say in the matter-#-because they literally cannot speak their mind.#and gosh. the most defying example. berdly.#he spends the entire game trying to build an actual escapist fantasyland. with all his shtick about making a 'smartopia'.#but it never works out.#berdly keeps trying to live that escapist fantasy. a fantasy where he's the hero and gets the girl at the end (the girl being susie)#but he never gets that.#absolutely nothing in the game points at it being about escapism in any shape or form.#hell. I'd say dark worlds don't even reflect what the lightners want in any way.#kris doesn't get friends because of the dark worlds. but because of *us*.#we. the player. is the the one making the right choices for kris.#deltarune is much more interested in exploring what it means to be stuck in a narrative-#-that forces per assigned roles on characters that don't want those roles than it is ever about escapism.#like. did everyone miss the huge player shaped elephant in the room or what.#✏️
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Memories
Old man Fiddlestan, my beloved-and what's this? It could be semi-canon compliant :O ?!?! Woof- this is one of the saddest things I have ever written. I know some of you gremlins (affectionate) love that sort of thing, but I don't. I like really really don't. This is my comfort ship, so I don't even know where this came from other than trying to figure out how they *could* work in canon. Truthfully though, I prefer my Fiddlestan heavy on the comfort when it comes to the "hurt/comfort" genre. This is my only “angsty” (i.e. no immediate happy ending) Notes-app fics, so don't get used to this level of sad from me lol.
“Stan?” an oddly familiar voice called. Mr. Mystery, Stan Pines, glanced up from the flyers he was organizing and found that Old Man McGucket stood in the doorway of his front door. The last tour of the day had just left, it was dinnertime, and he was exhausted. Stan rolled his eyes as he unfurled his tie, wishing Soos was still there to escort the crazy old man off his property. No matter what he did, the old hillbilly always managed to find his way back to the Shack. “Sweet Moses McSuckit, what are you doing in here? Shoo, scat, or whateva will get rid of ya.” Hearing no movement, he looked at the man again and found he was standing erect. His blue eyes were the clearest he had seen them in no less than a decade.
Wait, what did he call- oh. Oh no.
“Stan…ley? Did I…did I do somethin’ wrong?” the other man asked, his hands twisted in knots in front of him. Memories flashed through Stan’s mind; Ford falling through the portal, Fiddleford finding him passed out in the lab, working together to bring Ford home again…being together. Being happy. They had been happy, if just for a little while, hadn’t they?
Then there was the cult, and his discovery of the damn memory gun that had finally ruined everything they ever built. He took a hesitant step forward, a thousand thoughts roaring in his mind at once. “Fidds? Wha-what do you remember?” A bandaged hand snaked up and rubbed over the faded scar on the side of his head “I…don’t rightly know. Did we…I think we had a fight? I just woke up in the…in the dump. N’ I don’t have any shoes. Do ya know why my arm is in a cast?” Fiddleford looked so lost.
Stan knew in his heart that all of this was fleeting- “clarity” would hit Fiddleford every few years after he had finally wiped his mind of himself. Almost like his brain was trying to jumpstart itself back together. The first time they thought it was a miracle but…it didn’t last. It just started a trend that would follow them both for the next almost thirty years. Fiddleford would seemingly “wake up” and be lucid for a few weeks in the beginning, then eventually only a matter of days. It had been so long since the last time that Stan would wager, they only had maybe a few hours together if he was lucky.
The last time Fiddleford was himself…they had fought. Stanley thought he had figured the only way Fiddleford could stay; he needed to remember. Remember everything he had ever forgotten. At the time, Fiddleford had been unwilling to try. He didn’t think he could handle it; he knew he had forgotten what he had for a reason.
Stanley had gotten as close to begging as he ever had in his life since surviving Tijuanna, and when it had no effect…Stanley had told Fiddleford to leave and never come back. He had left that night, and by the next day he had faded away again. After a while, Stan thought his last words had been the final nail in the coffin that was Fiddleford’s mind. He carried that weight along with every other mistake he had ever made. But here he was. Fiddleford. His Fiddleford.
He took a deep breath before he opened his arms up. “Hey, don’t worry, it doesn’t matter. I’m right here.” Fiddleford rushed through the doorway, melting into Stanley’s open arms. “I went away again, didn’t I?” Stan could feel Fiddleford’s tears soaking into his chest, his own whispering at the edges of his eyes. Yes, and you will leave again. You will leave me and I will be alone all over again, you fucking asshole. “Hey cowboy, didn’t I just say not t’ worry about any a’ that? You’re here now, n' that’s what matters. You’re…you’re home.” A haggard laugh vibrated through the smaller man’s chest into Stanley’s own. “I know I keep tellin’ ya, tellin’ me not t’ worry is like” “…tellin’ a fish t’ stop swimmin’; I know Fidds, I know.” Fuck was really the only conscious thought that went through his head as he held his one-time lover. He couldn’t believe he was doing this, again.
Fiddleford looked up, eyes wide and searching Stan’s face. “How long do ya think we have?” Stan shook his head, unwilling to lie even if it eventually wouldn’t matter because he wouldn’t remember. You’ve always been the only person I couldn’t lie to. “I dunno, it’s been…a while. Probably not very long.” Fiddleford closed his eyes before he said “I need ya t’ know somethin’, Stanley.” Stan started to shake his head. “Fidds, you don’t have t-” The look on the other man’s face shut Stan right up-he had always had that ability. Stan wished he didn’t miss it as much as he did. “I need ya to know that even when I’m not here…I miss you. The part of me that’s somewhere in here-” A weathered hand tapped the side of his head to emphasize his point “ misses you. I’m just so sorry, Stanley. Sorry that I’m a coward. I’m sorry that I’m not strong enough to be here all the time…but I’ll never stop tryin’. I’ll always try n’ come home to ya.”
Stan thought of the thousands of times he had chased Old Man McGucket, the neat little character that Stan had to compartmentalize his Fiddleford into when he wasn’t himself, out of the Shack. How many times he had found him curled up like a cat on the back porch. How every time they “met”, McGucket would say how nice Stan was or how good he felt to be around him “for some reason.” How many odds and ends McGucket would gift Stan from the dump for exhibits at the Mystery Shack with a large smile and nothing substantial behind his eyes.
It would be so much easier if he would stop trying to come back. Maybe the hole in Stan’s heart the size of the sweet, certifiably insane man would scab over. How many times had Stanley mourned him? How many times was he willing to hurt himself? They were now nearing their sixties, how long was he really willing to do this song and dance?
What’s one more time? he softly thought, his hand coming up to tenderly cup the grizzled face of Fiddleford Hadron McGucket. Mad scientist, friend, and unfortunately for them both…the love of his life.
“I miss you too, Fidds.”
#bbuzz28#my writing#fiddlestan#stanley pines#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#if anyone ever wants to expand on this idea please feel free to-bc I think its an interesting concept overall#I simply do not have the heart to write something so very sad LOL#also something I couldn't think of how to do justice was Tate in all of this#because like-Tate knows *something* is between his father and Stan#I had a line that was like 'The wide berth he gave Tate McGucket whenever they were in the same vicinity. The weight of similar eyes#to his father never leaving him whenever they were found to be in the same place always feeling heavy.'#but I couldn't figure out how to make it really fit in a quick lil one shot#and Tate deserves more than that#bc don't forget Tate is *literally* the only thing that holds Fidds mind together at any given time in any just about any timeline :')#but yeah the idea of canon Fiddlestan is actually incredibly sad bc either its this or Fidds wiped Stan's memory of him#which I recognize *is* a trope...but that just makes me so v sad.#I know people explore fiction in ways to help them feel bigger feelings- but I just want them to be happy#maybe that's naive but its my truth#alright-that's enough yapping in the tags#again if anyone wants to expand on this feel free and send me a link :)
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In most BBC Merlin analyses, and sometimes, mine included, we often talk about how much Merlin forgets himself and who he is, in the later seasons, his personality and character and beliefs, and how he gets replaced by something heavier, by a person who’s literally the other side of Arthur, who can’t think on his own, if he doesn’t consider him first.
But what I personally think we get wrong is when this happens. Because Merlin confesses to Arthur, “I’m happy to be your servant, ‘till the day I die.”
And that happens so early, and what does Arthur do, if not fall irremediably in love? It’s not even a fall, it’s a continuous precipice, a tumultuous one, where he doesn’t know what to hold onto, if not on the one man who unfolded that truth to him, only after a few months of knowing him.
Merlin was ready and did lay down his life for Arthur, mere days later to their first meeting.
No matter their choices, whatever they are bad or good, they can’t do it otherwise, even if they want to, they can’t decide differently, because theirs is not love: it’s destruction, it tears them apart, yet they can’t stop picking up the pieces, one after one, until they’re all again.
Merlin is woven in the fabric of the world, and if Arthur is born of that magic, then he can’t help but feel drawn to him. It doesn’t matter if Merlin is his servant or not, because he would have found a way to serve Arthur no matter the circumstances. He uses his magic only for him because he doesn’t know otherwise. Arthur writes rules and laws based on what Merlin tells him to because he doesn’t know otherwise.
They listen to none but each other, they fight for none but each other, they love none as deeply but each other.
It’s more than devotion, it’s a risk, and Merlin and Arthur took it as soon as they laid eyes on one another.
“Do I know you?”
Perhaps, Arthur did, perhaps, he felt that pull of destiny, that part of him he never understood that had awoken on Merlin’s command.
They are one and the same, and that’s more than love.
#it just strickens me how their bond is incomparable to any other they have with any other person#it feels unreal but they made it work#it was clumsy but it was the realest thing both of them ever felt#it was both a blessing and a curse#it was privilege and so they stopped from wanting more because they said to themselves that maybe it was enough already#but it’s never enough because they’re literally the same#they’re glue they’re stuck and they need to be near#something to ponder about that makes you scream and go insane that’s all#merthur#bbc merlin#merlin#arthur pendragon#merlin bbc#merlin x arthur
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more ancient ocs i got bored and made as sims. they were doing every tired annoying romantasy trope years ahead of the curb smh i could have been making booktok bucks
#had these guys since i was 15. sinclair is like the proto-[insert literally any of my modern characters here]#had to remake sinclair entirely. i have never been able to make him look right. until now crowd cheers#to be fair he doesn't look like his cc preview self bc he's got 2 different designs#when he's got the long hair and he's chunkier that's after a time jump in this dumb ass extremely 2018 story#but that's him in the beginning. this is like. a fantasy world based on the 1920s new york#and he's a gang leader (yeah i KNOW. I KNOW. i never change) who deals in dark magic or something i barely remember the details tbh#and the other one is calvin his dad is like. a cult leader? he's basically like locked in a tower his whole life that sort of thing#and they're magical but calvin can't control his and he accidentally kills someone with it#and his estranged sister who's a part of this gang gets him a job at their like speakeasy in exchange for covering it up#anyway pinterest heads know the exact face claim i used for him everyone uses the face claim but NO. he's the MOST that face claim#it's DIFFERENT#sinclair's face claim is that sexy joker cosplay guy. anyway#ts4#ts4 edit#ts4 cas#the sims 4
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i need ghoap frantically making out against a door finally taking the leap on their feelings. need ghost grinding against soap, expecting to find him just as hard as him, only to feel nothing
and in all his wisdom and experience, he concludes soap was tortured and never told him
he’s trying to think of a delicate way to say he understands, that he’s been through it and it doesn’t change anything about how he feels (and who the fuck touched him so he can hunt them down and rend them limb from limb)
meanwhile trans!soap’s just trying to find the best angle to grind his cunt on ghost’s thigh
just it never even entering ghost’s head bc he’s never known a trans person but he has met plenty of people who’ve been tortured - himself included - so of course that’s his logical leap
soap takes off his shirt and he sees his top surgery scars and ghost asks if he wants him to kill the one who did it and soap just hums like, “actually, man did pretty good, they healed real well,” and ghost’s just teary-eyes with awe at how well he’s coping, “looking on the bright side, that’s my johnny.”
imagine he thinks johnny was fully castrated but sees he’s determined to still have a sex life with him so he buys packers and straps to help him bc hell yeah healing and soap’s just like, “holy shit i’ve never had such a thoughtful partner before, such a sweet man, lt.”
#he a little confused but he got the spirit#its so good bc it can be super angsty of ghost really dreading whats been done to his sergeant and trying to make it right#or just go full crack treated seriously and have fun with it#i love just completely oblivious ghost#in any military context hes the smartest guy in the room#he always knows the play and has more experience than anyone#but stick him in the normal world? man is Lost#ghost just thinks hes had some kind of reconstruction surgery after being tortured and accepts thats what johnny looks like#bc hes never seen a pussy before#it takes years for soap to actually come out to him bc he just never thought to#hes seen him naked theyve literally slept together what else is there for him to say#then he shows him like a family album or something and ghosts just like ‘why arent you in any of these i only see girls’#and he just goes ‘hang on a second’#soap gets one of his sporadic periods one night and panics a little thinking it would weird ghost out or remind him that hes not cis#but ghost just thinks its a normal part of such a thorough reconstruction that hed bleed sometimes#and doesnt question it when soap grabs a pad out of his drawer bc ‘thats such a good way of handling the discharge my johnnys so smart’#just really supportive ghost for the wrong reasons#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#soapghost#ghostsoap#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soap cod#save post
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