#and then like. idk the whole sexuality thing where like. i mean i get crushes on men and like men occasionally

[zhuhongs]

oh noninonononóooo

[egcdeath]

hello hello how are u!!?

i’ve been rereading a few of ur fics hehe i just wanna say that i love ur writing omfg like yes plz i wanna eat the words

ok ok so i’d love to know ur thoughts on a bully!patrick x reader?? he’s just so cocky and i’d love to see what would happen if he pushed *juuuuuust* a bit further…

maybe it’s their college years and he is practically jeering and ragging at the reader while she’s at her sports practice. i think patrick would like the way her face scrunches up in anger, but she ignores him because she knows better than to go back and forth due to his quick wit. he’d act like a schoolboy. i think he’d also like getting real up close and personal w her, but never touching. and maybe he’d even go as far as to pull at her hair. “accidentally”. hooooooo boy, and the sexual undertones within it all. reasons seemingly unknown, but i believe he just has a crush on the reader, he’s being a hellish brat about it.

and reader enjoys is cuz patrick has a certain charm and he’s just so irresistible xxx but sometimes she wishes he was nicer to her but also where’s the fun in that?? and at certain times maybe he shows that he cares about her…like omg my heart

…ok i am so sorry for rambling i did NOT expect to go into such detail and also sorry if it’s a little corny😭😭😭 anyway, you don’t necessarily have to write headcanons or a fic, i more so would just love to hear ur thoughts on it, the whole bully aspect is really interesting (and hot) to me 🫢 ok again sorry for writing a whole novel in here hope ur having a good day! ur most recent fic was [chefs kiss] and im excited to read what u have cooking up x

omg i absolutely LOVE this concept!! what i immediately thought of was patrick and the reader being in very similar tennis circles (idk how tennis works so lets just assume that they're playing at similar events and reader is obviously playing w women) and like, at first, you cannot stand this man at all. like he always seems to find you before you play, or at your hotel after you've played, or at parties for the players, and he ALWAYS has something to say. a comment on your technique. a snide remark on how you played that day. a taunt about how you're never gonna beat the opponent you're playing against that day.

but the thing is... in a way, his bullying kinda helps you perform better? like he gets you so riled up and feeling so spiteful that you goes out onto the court and demolishes whoever you're playing against. so in a way it's kinda helpful... but also fucking annoying.

and like, at first you try to go back and forth with him but you literally never win the verbal spars so one day you just give up. and also part of you knows that he doesn't genuinely mean it?? maybe he even knows that his pestering is helpful to you and maybe thats why he does it?? but he is being an annoying pest regardless and you can't deal with him buzzing around your ear all the time and getting in your head before you play. so you just stop entertaining it.

but once you stop entertaining it, he gets kinda worried. like you've had this thing going on for a while and now suddenly you just don't care anymore. so now his gibes turn into questioning you CONSTANTLY. are you seeing someone? are you planning something?? what changed?? and when that doesn't work out for him he starts being nice to you. and thats when you start getting worried. i think this would make them have to admit their feelings to each other then BOOM happily ever after!!

i loveee this idea and it was so fun to think about! i'm usually a little iffy about bullying stuff buttt i could totally see it working in this context.

[gray-ace-space]

Kind of a mini rant for a second but I feel like that Chris Flemming "was anyone going to tell me?" meme in kind of a fuckton of ways since becoming more aware of just how much ace is in my grayace self

that most people find sex very actively appealing a very large amount of the time??? Like they're not just kinda neutral about it as a default???

That most of the times I've thought "I have a crush on this person" it's just been aesthetic attraction the whole damn time???? Like thinking "oooh pretty"/"Oh no, they're hot" is not usually where it stops for people 99% of the time???

That I don't have amazing self control regarding avoiding teenage pregnancy/ abstaining from sex because of a medication/ not cheating/ stupid sexual purity shit that I was adjacent to bc yay deep south, like my controller was apparently just never fucking plugged in, like it's pretty damn hard to loose a game you aren't playing

Most people find nudity very very very appealing? Like they don't neutral to negative about it??? Like not because I think anything inherently negative about their body I'm just less interested in it naked?? Is that even an ace thing or am I just weird???

Tbh I'm not even sure how gray of an ace I even am bc of all this, like I think there's some gray area, like I've felt some quick pangs of sexual attraction I think??? idk??? I thought the other parts were pretty standard before now so idk???

Like I'm sorry for semi ranting and I know everyone kinda has to figure themselves out for themselves and labels are there to help not define, but like do you have any advice for any of this?

my guy (gender neutral). you are ace as hell.

hahaha no but let me go through these point by point so we can compare notes.

"most people find sex very actively appealing a very large amount of the time" - is that true??? are we sure that's real??

"most of the times I've thought "I have a crush on this person" it's just been aesthetic attraction" - well i get very strong romantic crushes but. any time i say someone is hot i just mean they look cool and i wanna look at them a bunch. maybe some sensual attraction gets mixed in and i like, wanna touch them as well, non-sexually. so. definitely feel u on that

"I don't have amazing self control regarding..." - YEAH. THAT. YEAH. (i was not really deep in the purity culture stuff but as a young teen i was like. what the hell is wrong with everyone. can't they be normal like me)

"Most people find nudity very very very appealing?" - i honestly quite like nudity in a completely not sexual way, just like a body positivity way. maybe it's cause my mom raised me to not be weird about nudity, it's very chill to me and i think most people are beautiful. but i do not have a connection in my brain between nudity and sexual attraction. i do not care. not once in my life have i looked at someone i liked and thought "oh i would like to see them naked". so, is it an ace thing? probably yes

"I'm not even sure how gray of an ace I even am" - this is probably the one where we most diverge because i do actually feel strong enough sexual attraction that i can't mistake it for anything else. it's just that, i think i'm demisexual. so it's for like. 5 people. ever.

are you gray or not? who the hell knows. maybe ur dark gray ace, maybe i'm light gray ace. but i relate to a lot of what you said! it's fucking wild to unpack this stuff. i do not understand allos at all. i'm glad we can agree on that.

[alice-after-dark]

Hm... It slightly grinds my gears that, however much I absolutely love radiostatic, people seem to think that someone can only be so obsessed like vox if they were rejected/had romantic/sexual feelings, and that Alastor/Vox's split has entirely to do with Vox's having a one sided crush and Alastor being uncomfortable with it?

Like, I love radiostatic, don't get me wrong, so of course I do understand the appeal of vox's having a pathetic crush or obsession with Alastor. But what I mean is that, there is some evidence that they were partners for a long time, and built an understanding and friendship off that. And they're both overlords. I just don't think Alastor would be shy about relationships at all, he would understand it as a way to manipulate people that maybe he himself is not inclined to. And so if anything, the reason that they split could have a lot to do with existing problems in their friendship and changing power dynamics, if anything. But none of these are confirmed, we don't even have confirmation that vox was in love with alastor, so it is a little weird that almost everyone agrees the problem was the unreciprocated crush.

Tl;dr friendships can break for reasons other than unreciprocated romantic feelings, and people can be obsessed for reasons besides love/rejection. Ok but all that said, I actually enjoy most of the content so LOL.

Also I heard that the idea of carmilla and zestial being the most powerful comes from a piece of either semi-canon or discarded canon interview where they ranked 2nd and 1st of the overlords respectively, and vox ranked 3rd, but idk how accurate that is (I highly doubt it's authenticity)

Holy long ask!

*cracks knuckles*

Starting at the end cause that's the easiest to address ngl, but yeah I doubt it's authenticity too. Huge Vox fan here and even I would not rank him fucking THIRD in power. Dude is strong, but I don't think he's that strong.

On the rest, nah I totally get you. I absolutely adore RadioStatic (have you been on my blog? lol), but I'm not personally big on the whole unreciprocated crush angle. I personally think Vox's anger and obsession come from Alastor's (real? perceived?) betrayal of their friendship in some capacity. He saw Alastor as someone he could trust and had that trust broken in some way. At least, that's how things would come across from his side of it. I personally think they're both at fault and letting their pride get in the way of actually talking it out and dealing with their issues.

While the crush thing is totally a viable situation, I think there are some far more interesting ones out there. Like...the idea that they had a strong enough friendship for Alastor to allow a clear photo of him to be taken with Vox and yet he was so put off by a crush that it completely destroyed it? Doesn't sit well with me, no thanks. And yeah, I can see Vox being hurt, maybe a little pissy, but if he truly cared for Alastor as much as the fandom seems to think he does, then again, it doesn't entirely make sense that he would let his crush ruin it. Yeah, he absolutely seems to want revenge on Alastor, but I don't think it has to do with a crush.

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

Just wanted to share an experience I had. I’m at this dnd group and I casually offhandedly mentioned that I was aro in a “hell yeaahh aromanticism!!” way and this ends up biting me in the ass. The more accurate truth is that I am more grey or demi, because I have a hard time distinguishing platonic and romantic feelings. Usually this ends up with me having a “crush” on everyone but not wanting to date anyone 😅. But anyway, I didn’t give my dnd group this spiel.

Now there’s this guy from that group who I have gotten along with well who I may have a bit more of a crush on. It’s complicated. Genuinely idk if it’s a normal crush or these friend crushes I keep getting. I’m probably sexually attracted to him (I am allosexual), which doesn’t help. So we’re talking this one time, and the topic of sexuality is brought up and he tells me he thought I was aroace this whole time, and I feel kind of sad because of this. Like, what if I do end up wanting to date him? I don’t want my options limited because of what other people assume my romantic orientation is. Then again this is completely my fault, I regret mentioning I was aro lmao

Idk if I will ever give him the details on me being grey or demi. If anything it might make him more confused, and then there’s gonna be two people who are confused, because I sure as hell am confused on what I feel for him. I related really heavily to that other ask where they said they’re too allo to be ace and too ace to be aro lmao, that is how I feel with being basically 2 inches away from being completely allo. Well at least lucky for me I still don’t feel as if I need to ask this guy out so I don’t have to worry about it. For now. If anything, this incident illustrated to me the usefulness of labels not only as a means of self-identification but for communication with others.

Yeah, these things never are simple, are they? But well said, labels do so much and it's definitely worth thinking about what you want to communicate too when deciding which ones to share.

All the best and good luck!

[ravenbloodshot]

Not Gong yoo and LDW casually being each others ideal types lmao! 🤣 I peep 👀 I always see LDW being so endearing to him though, like man/bro-crush vibes? I am not saying he's on the DL, I'm not the delusional type. But he looks like the type that's super intelligent and because of that finds it hard to look up to people or even see them as someone he can see as an equal or respect. I know he's the oldest, so he has eldest sibling vibes but I think he grew up quicker than he should've lol, it looks like gong yoo soothes him or is that big bro he's always wanted. I always see he turns small next to him and tries to impress him, kind of like he needs to be subdued or stroked on the head. I know it's an unpopular option because he looks scary but he's so sweet lol, I literally see it pouring out of him and he always feels responsible for his surroundings, so I think no one sees him. Which is why in your break up reading Suzy was out off by him seemingly being more heart-centred than he looked and you said it changed the way he approaches relationships etc, I wouldn't be surprised he was attracted to her and opened up and she was put off? She's probably the type that likes getting taken care of and not the other way around, so she was like you're doing too "much". His change because "oh I'm too much, for future reference I will not get too deep or show a woman my heart". I wouldn't be surprised if he's the type that struggles a lot but his "manliness" makes him look disgusting if he expresses it. Idk he looks like he needs people who see him clearly? I also don't think he's an overly sexual guy, like gong yoo. I usually see him with his red band, you know the Buddhist one? Where the wear it for abistinece of certain things? I'm not saying he's celibate lol but I know he doesn't live beyond his "means", he's a very conscious person, I don't think he ever just rolls out of bed and "does what he wants". Idk I always see these grown ass people need love lol, especially since embarking on my spiritual journey. We really all just are kids needing to be "seen"? For some reason LDW always gave me anxious attachment style whereas gong yoo is dismissive and I know those styles fit each other like a glove. It's always the scary looking ones being marshmallows though. I am also surprised gong yoo even let him get close LMFAO 🤣 I know LDW "chased" him a lot because they talk about it! He's always out here, even toxically seeing the good in people, he also gets along with everyone and stranger love him. People always invite him on shows etc? Idk he's so cute LOL 😂 (I know I'm weird) I wouldn't be surprised if they both would've loved to package each other into the perfect type for them but really they are complimentary. What one is on the outside, the other is on the inside. Also LDW always likes them cold, dismissive types lol. I see that his demeanour changes around his female co-stars when they're the cool types. He also gives to an extreme, he's always having peoples back, which gong yoo typically looks like a happy go lucky people's person but the man really is out for himself and is super hedonistic 😂. Not saying he's bad but I don't think he cares enough and wouldn't think twice about icing people out. It's giving "cut-off game STRONG". All in all, I can tell LDW feels so happy "earning" his spot in his life, I'm sure he's even surprised that he was able to pull it off. Kind of like a drag off a cigarette? Idk his energy always gives me "I'm still here", I think people think he's got his shit together lol. I wouldn't be surprised if he looks up to him and gong yoo is also intrigued by him etc. They're good friends. I want complimentary friends but my ass busy being like Gong yoo. Blissfully unaware of the reason why people like me, body looking like "better not get close, I bite not bark". LMFAO and also couldn't care about the whole kissing ass, I'm so sorry that's what it feels like to me LOL 😂. Please if you ever can, will you do a friendship reading, I would love to see this? Thanks!

Hope you don't mind, it's been a while, I come here sometimes, you're literally the only person who reads... "correctly", or satisfyingly enough? I don't know, also I saw you apologise to an anon talking about "they're either dating or they're not" and you were talking about how you come across some way, you said "whoever said he's either dating or not, isn't saying anything at all because the entire population is either dating or not" etc, idk word for word verbatim but ima have to say you don't owe anyone an apology! That anon said "I have to monitor what I say etc and took it out on you, when they were projecting their lack of understanding and then blamed you and made you monitor what you said and apologise for your own words? Also, why are people bringing up other "readers" if they can't take criticism, they better had learned how to read cards themselves, the audacity!? It's not your business to correct or respond, you are already doing way more than the average reader and excellently engaging with people and nobody is paying you for it. This is incredible and unbelievable, to have this calibre of content for free and actually be a lit ass person, I will literally attack any disrespect shown towards you! Sometimes people think we're doing exactly what they're doing. It pains me to see you had to "correct" yourself when they were literally fighting their own projection and lack of understanding of others. Go back and read it from an objective perspective, you'll see! I want you to take back that apology, even energetically if you can! Something else I want you to know Raven, we LOVE you and we think you communicate CLEARLY, whoever wants to understand it WILL! If anything, you're the only tarot page that reads on people and actually SAYS something that I frequent and enjoy, you actually talk to people properly and read and entertain us. You're the last person who should get attacked. We love you, don't change and don't apologise! Take care you lil sexy bird 🐦‍⬛❤️

— Lip Service Girl 💄💋

Spot on as always 👏👏

A friendship reading between these two does sound interesting, I'll make it happen. Tbh, I never saw a scorpio/cancer dynamic where the Scorpio was the sweetheart (the chaser), and the cancer was more standoffish (or should I say the runner). I found their personality differences/similarities very intriguing.

Also, thanks for understanding and supporting me. Me giving that apology wasn't really bc I thought what I said was wrong in any way, but bc i knew I hurt that anon. They sent separate asks and it just seemed like they wanted to feel like they didn't have sensor their thoughts or have their opinions shut down. And ik exactly how that feels. I didn't like that I made them feel that way even if I didn't mean to.

[youremyheaven]

Unpopular opinion: Tripti Dimri is on her way to becoming Margot Robbie of Bollywood (saying this with no hate to either because I love both but in context to how men loved Margot till she did Barbie and everyone is just hating on her now for no reason). I loved Tripti in laila majnu and bulbul and I mean I'm sure it has something to do with her plan for her career but Bad Newz is just bad news for her career rn. She's been getting extremely sexualised ever since Animal came out.... Idk what's the point of this film either. Personally I have no issues with the film per se but it's giving 'Revamped Bridget Jones Baby' vibes except usme neither of the men knew who the father is. Plus with the current situation of women hating going on people are going to be like see this is what women do and shit! Idk why everyone is making women the villains 🥲

I really don't want it to be the case but I don't think Triptii is going to have much of a career unless some miracle takes place and she begins to be recognised as a serious actor

It's so fcked up how Animal was the movie that gave her a big break 😔 a movie where an Outsider like her had to literally lick a Nepokid's shoes 😔😔 Vanga is such a violent misogynist, I hope he's rotting and never makes another film

I wish she hadn't done Animal because I don't think she gained anything from the film. The whole "national crush" thing is fake PR hype and most people don't find her attractive or feminine and slut shame for that movie :((( the amount of comments I see on IG reels about her calling her "cheap" or "masculine looking" is insane 💀

I know she made a ton of money and achieved mainstream recognition post - Animal but at what cost???

And she's Pushya Moon 😪😪 doing a film that clearly went against a principles is not going to help her in the long run (Saturnians always suffer when they act contrary to the rigidly righteous nature of Saturn)

If she had stayed on her indie film trajectory she would've eventually received a big break. Maybe it would've taken longer but she'd have been taken seriously as an actor and enjoyed a much better reputation.

I don't want to sound like I'm blaming her because as an Outsider with a handful of films under her belt, Triptii wasn't in a position to turn down a film as big as Animal and I get that. But she's now isolated herself from every demographic. The average Indian just thinks she's cheap or slutty because of her nudity and sexuality in the film (not the greatest first introduction for an actress in India) and the woke liberal crowd thinks she's a sellout lacking intergrity for working with an asshole like Vanga in a movie as horrendous as Animal.

Right now, Triptii is standing on shaky ground. Idk how big of a hit Bad Newwz will be or what it'll do for Triptii's career but the way it's currently going, I feel like she'll do a handful of films and then dip. She isn't really focusing on picking good scripts and is going for commercial appeal which I understand but I don't think the Indian general public likes her very much atp for her to sustain herself as a commercial actress 😔😔😔

It's really hard to be a female superstar in India and only a handful of women have ever achieved it. Hema Malini, Sridevi, Madhuri Dixit and to lesser extents Aishwarya Rai & Deepika Padukone. They're all women who were "known" for being traditional and modest irl (a lot of times it wasn't actually the case but at least they tried to maintain that image lmao and it worked) and they were also more cute and beautiful than straight up sexy 😶‍🌫️

I hope it all works out for Triptii and at least she'll make hella $$$$

I hate that Outsider women are treated like they're disposable in this industry whereas untalented nepo kids like Janhvi and Sara repeatedly get big budget movie offers even though they haven't had a hit in years lol. They'll never be written off like an Outsider and be given endless chances to prove themselves.

Nepotism sucks

[0scar-piastri]

Study in gay

According to a study 1/4 people are gay, meaning there are 5 gay people on the f1 grid. This is just me taking the piss, it is not serious, I am not speculating, it is fiction! So don’t come at me bros! It’s supposed to be funny!

Is:

Charles Leclerc, has know he’s gay since forever, don’t make a big deal out of it, but scared it’ll get out (like new, dumb FIA rules and all) hence the thick beards, in love with one Max Emilian Verstappen

Max Verstappen, has experimented with Pierre.. a lot Max Verstappen, bi, grown up around narrow mindedness but in a very accepting society (Netherlands) as a whole, now doing his best to be the opposite of narrow minded, he is succeeding. Probably the one to have made out with the most guys on the grid, especially when drunk/high.

Lando Norris, gay, there is this viiiiibe, probably doesn’t know it yet, like I said he thinks men flirting with him are just being friendly, has definitely drunkenly made out with Max and liked it, but you know that’s what friends do when drunk, no?

Lewis Hamilton, he really doesn’t care what gender he ends up with.. very confident in himself and his sexuality, would slay in drag, one stare has haters cowering, not a stranger to threesomes with a guy and girl (according to my hubby) also had that thing with Nico

Pierre Gasly, bi, he is French

Not:

Sebastian Vettel, straight but undying support, has dabbled in his youth, he is the definition of accepting grid dad, very helpful to confused, questioning f1 children

Lance Stroll, was the one finding the study and sharing with the other drivers, thinking that he is one of the gay ones, it really isn’t, funny man loves pussy

Alex Albon, I mean look at him and Lily, I would go for lily too tbh

George Russel, same as Alex but idk his wag’s name

Fernando Alonso, ancient man doesn’t even know what gay is?? Still think it means happy tbh.. So not woke

Carlos Sainz Jr, allegedly there have been some comments made?? Idk he’s kinda fruity to me, especially where Lando’s concerned

Danny Ric, straight as an arrow, wholly supportive, would step up if a fake boyfriend was needed, would take down any homophobic asshole harassing his boys, could probably get in a relationship with a man, but loves eating pussy too much

Nicholas Latifi, wholly accepting, same league as Seb, but without the dabbling

Mick Schumacher, idk used to have a crush on Harry Styles, but who hasn’t?

Yuki Tsunoda, Pierre is the love of his life, but like platonically, he is 100% scared of girls tho..

Zhou Guanyu, quiet guy, but dicks down girls left and right because of his impeccable sense of fashion

Sergio Perez, lmao just no, traditionalist through and through

Esteban Ocon, dunno much about him tbh, though I think he is cute, no gay vibes about him tho, could definitely star as Count Dracula in a movie?? Now that’s a vibe.

Valtteri Bottas, dat ass tho, it’s a favorite in the lgbtq community, would politely decline any advances from the same gender, he knows he does not like dick like that

Kevin Magnussen, doesn’t do labels, but has a kid with a female sooo

[batmenstrualcycle]

Request: "Ohh okay How about just a jealous reader x maki? You don't have to write something sexual. An idea would be that Maki spends a lot of time with Nobara and the reader thinks that Maki has feelings for her?" by @deliaswife <3

Pairing: Maki Zenin x F! reader (i hope u dont mind lol)

(lowercase intended, also maki may seem a little ooc at the end? idk lol, shitty kissing scenes <3)

because i like you.

"senpai, how long are you going to keep staring at zen'in-senpai and kugisaki?"

you didn't know how long you had been staring, you didn't even notice. you considered yourself lucky that megumi pointed it out and saved you from the embarrassment of panda saying it- or god help you, gojo satoru.

you didn't notice yourself staring, however, you did notice that maki had been spending a lot of time with nobara, a first year, after telling her and megumi about the upcoming exchange event. you didn't care at first, you thought it was good that maki switched from panda to nobara, since panda wouldn't stop complaining about how hard maki hits. but then it got continuous. you'd ask maki if she wanted to hang out, and she'd always come up with the excuse: "nobara asked me to train with her today, maybe another time." it pissed you off. you wanted to say something, but you didn't want to make a scene, since nobara is seemingly glued maki's side.

"hm? i've been staring?" you questioned, turning to megumi. he nodded before cocking up a brow. "why were you sending them death glares?" he asked again. it was your turn to cock a brow. "death glares? i was doing no such thing!" you exclaimed before grabbing your training stick from the ground after having it knocked from your hands for the 500th time today due to the fact you weren't paying attention.

"yes, senpai. death glares. what's gotten into you? usually you're all peppy and excited for training." he pointed out, almost to judge you for your readiness to train. you rolled your eyes. "nothing's gotten into me, you're just being weird."

"that's what they all sayyyy." a voice behind you dragged the 'y'. you tuned around to find panda and toge walking towards you, panda sending you a smile whole toge only waved. you gave panda a deadpan expression. "and just what do you mean by that?"

"i mean that you're jealous." the animal held up one finger- or claw- it didn't really matter anyway. "jealous?! of who?!"

"hm..maybe kugisaki? her and maki seem to be spending a lot of time with each other, and i know for a fact that you have a fat crush on maki. and don't even try to deny it! any blind person can see it, whenever she walks in the room, you'd always hide behind me with the reddest face i've ever seen! each time, your face getting more read than the last!"

your jaw dropped as you frowned. a crush? was it even civil to call it that? panda knew of your feelings, as well as toge and megumi, but they didn't really know. you were in love with the girl, and who wouldn't be? she's perfect in every way you could imagine, from her smirk to her walk, and you'd move heaven and earth for that girl if she asked you to.

"i- well, i guess you're right." you sighed as you sat down in the shade, admitting defeat to the victorious and unforgiving sun. panda let out a hearty chuckle. "ah! i knew it! so how do you want to ask her out?"

"HUH?! WHO SAID I'M PLANNING ON ASKING HER OUT?!" you exclaimed, though you were 75 percent sure the two girls across the field heard you. "well, you're not just gonna sit there and stare at her forever."

"i could!"

"and what's that gonna do for you?"

you pouted before letting out a huff. "fine, if staring isn't gonna get me anywhere, then i'd like to see you come up with some master plan to get her to seperate from nobara so i can ask her out."

panda tapped his chin. "that's a pretty tough question..you figure it out!" he answered with a grin that didn't seem to lighten your jealous mood. with a exasperated groan, you crawled up from your spot and got up to go inside.

"wait, where ya goin?!"

"inside, dumbass!"

--------

later on, after deciding you're not going to be a little pussy anymore contemplating, you headed over to the dining hall to see if maki was there for lunch. sure enough, she was there. sitting at a table. with nobara next to her, as always.

you internally groaned at the sight. it's not that you didn't like nobara, she's a very nice girl who loves to go shopping. you just didn't like nobara hogging maki all to herself.

and you thought she was doing it for all the wrong reasons.

nobara turned away from maki and found you strolling down the hallway. "look! it's l/n-senpai!" nobara pointed to you, earning maki's attention. she lifted a brow to hide the fact her heart began to flutter the second she laid eyes on you. nobara turned back to her. "you like her, right?"

maki's expression turned into a scowl at her words before she slapped her shoulder. "idiot! don't say shit like that out loud! someone might've heard you!" maki hissed while nobara just gave her a smirk. "you should totally ask her out."

"i'm going to! just give me time, damn it!" she hissed once again before pretending nothing happened when you walked in and grabbed your tray to sit next to panda.

"dude! did you hear what maki just said?! she totally likes you!" panda gossiped right as you sat down in your chair. you turned to him with an incredulous expression. "really?"

"yes! she just admitted it, too!"

you still gave him a look of incredulity. "i find that hard to believe." you turned back to your food. panda let out a small sigh. "c'mon, y/n! you're better than that! just give it a try after lunch, alright?" he said before turning to his own food. you rolled your eyes and continued eating.

--------

while trudging over to your room to go surf the net, you found maki wandering around the halls, too.

"so you're not with nobara this time, huh?" you asked with a smile. she smiled with you and let out a sigh. "guess not." she admitted. her real reason for wandering around this hallway was to try and find you and finally ask you out. that's as simple as the plan was going to get.

"so whatcha doin', wandering around?" you asked. she let out a huff before decided to go for it.

"uh..so, y'know how i've been spending...time..with nobara, right?" you felt your heart drop. was she going to tell you about her feelings for nobara? were you going to have to deal with your heart wrenching, twisting and turning at every word that left her lips? would she reject you before you even asked her out?

you nodded as if you weren't thinking of the worst case scenario. "i know that you're probably wanting to know why.." she mumbled before slumping. you never took her to be the type to be nervous in situations like this (should she ever be in stuff like this), you always thought she'd be tough and confident.

you were miserably mistaken.

her face looked as if she'd been slapped by the sun, her cheeks were painted with a tacky shade of pink, and she still pouted.

you lifted a brow and smiled. "because?" you pressed crossing your arms. she let out a huff.

"because i like you." she said quietly, and you held your finger up to your ear, "what was that? i couldn't quite hear that."

she rolled her eyes. "because i like you." she repeated, this time just a little louder to where she was sure you could hear it. on it's own, your smile grew from ear to ear as a blush formed on your cheeks. "really? you like someone..like me?" you questioned with a lifted brow and pointing your thumb at your chest. she nodded, this time more confidently.

"..you're sure?"

"absolutely." she responded before a smirk stretched across her face. your cheeks began to warm up even more before maki gave you a look that said 'can i kiss you?'

you smiled wryly before reaching up to grab her cheeks and capture her lips with your own, earning a quick gasp from the girl.

her smirk curled even further as you two kept on kissing in the hallway, not giving a damn if anyone was wandering around.

you pulled away, "now the next time i ask you if we can hang out, you better say yes." you demanded before pressing a kiss to her nose. she scrunched it up before chuckling.

"always."

--------

i love how i wrote all this in one day😍

[fragileizy]

idk it's like

i talked to my therapist today through mid bites of food during lunch

i talked to her about how i kinda feel like i'm slowly forming into a person that actually feels sexual kinda. dooes this make sense? sorry i'm going to treat this like a diary entry. i'll spare you the long post and shove this under a read more.

i write an absolute onslaught of porn but it's always felt kind of like something that's not for me; i'm not a participant, but rather an audience, and i'm totally disjointed from the actual experience. it doesn't pertain to me, almost as if i'm not allowed to. no one's ever said i'm not allowed to be. i guess i've just grown up this way? maybe it's the way that i was never picked by anyone growing up or considered attractive, nothing like that was ever taught to me at a young age that i'm something people look towards to. i've been told my whole life by older adults— aunts, uncles, family-friend members, general, random adults— that they find me pretty, but that's never really translated to much. at the very most, i get called a "doll". i'm not really considered attractive. or maybe i am and i just don't realize?? anyway, it's like, that's fine? or i thought it was fine. sex wasn't for me, and it never was, and i thought i was fine with that— but i'm not. i'm self conscious, i'm shy, i'm scared and timid; instead of feeling anything good whenever i've been in those situations, i feel scared. flighty. i feel like i'm doing something wrong.

lately i've been feeling really okay with myself? dare i say kind to myself? i have no idea what's changed. maybe it's the fact that i'm taking care of myself— oh, god, here we go, talking about "self-care" while actually meaning "grooming myself— hair, nails, makeup— in a way that is socially acceptable" but eh. maybe. sort of. the pink hair was almost a revolution of the self (god, poetic much?) where it really felt like i had agency for the first time in my entire life, and it felt great. it felt good.

the fact that i'm able to dress myself with the little money i have and put on clothes that i picked out for me and me alone for my work and my car actually makes me feel like i have agency. at most, i've always felt like a dog with a propeller hat at a party, and i mean this genuinely. i always feel like i'm severely in the wrong place at the wrong time at every circumstance in my life, and people find it comical and silly that i'm just walking around. maybe they find it endearing; maybe they actually look forward to seeing me because i brighten up their day— look at that, a dog with a propeller hat on, isn't that silly? how cute is this!!!— but that's still not ideal. it would be nice to feel like a person. it would be nice to feel like i'm a 26 year old adult. not a dog with a hat.

lately i've been feeling like a 26 year old adult. i've been talking and showing opinions and having crushes (even if they're fleeting, even if they're stupid, they're real, and i have them, and the impulse to want kisses and hugs and laughter and someone to cuddle next to at night makes me almost incomprehensibly impossible to deal with because i'm so annoying about it) still makes me feel so grateful. i feel like a participant in such a long time with even the idea of sex. god, what a thing to say. i'm not a voyeur in the idea of sexual attraction, i'm a— timid! cautious! scared! but willing!— participant in my own thoughts. i want to go to the beach and wear cute swimsuits. i want to be less shy about how i dress. i want to look in the mirror and continue looking at my butt and being like :O because i like the shape it makes when i move my legs a certain way. i want to be liked. i wanna find myself attractive.

idk. idk. idk. idk. idk. idk. anyway. talked to my therapist today.

[davekat-sucks]

Fun fact about troll sexuality and alternian society just thought I'd drop because I saw your post while browsing the tags: depending on how you look at it, in earlier troll pages (roughly before 2500) it seems to suggest that trolls do in fact have some concepts of sexuality, but by the time of Karkat preference for hag over fag (2547), they're effectively cut out of the narrative.

Kanaya doesn't introduce herself as a lesbian but does have symbolic associations: rainbowdrinking, forbidden romance, things that scream 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈, especially when explicitly established after her initial interactions with Rose (narratively, not chronologically, because time in homestuck is a fuck). We can say that's just for the audience's sake, for who a character being attracted to women would've been notable and thus symbolically important. Where it gets interesting is with Eridan's first pesterlog with Feferi where Feferi acts kinda like a not-homophobic parent™ by loudly appending her statement to include the potential for same sex attraction. By doing this, it suggests an element of what we in wokeville call heteronormativity. Otherwise you'd just say "any lucky troll," right? But no, Eridan's attraction to ladies is taken as a given, but his attraction to fellows is an afterthought, in caps, with "380" emoticon to make it even more exclamatory. Funnily enough it retroactively paints Eridan's casual acceptance and encouragement of Kanaya's crush on Vriska in a very funny light. Eridan may be, well everything that Eridan is, but he doesn't think twice about people being gay.

The alternative explanation, that would make it so that alternia as a society truly has no systematic heteronormativity, is that Feferi is straight (has a fetish for men, as you would put it) and just because she metaphorically lives in a bubble, assumes everyone else is too. Eridan killing the only strictly homosexual and heterosexual trolls is the act of a bisexual supremacist presumably. Look at the bisexual flag. Remind you of anybody's fashion choices??? And who in the room does he spare? The person with the theme of twos (bi), and the one with ♋ as their symbol, the most bisexual of the positions.

Idk a lot of the last bit is just joking around. I just think it's neat how not concrete the early pages were about alternian society, but you can tell pretty precisely where in the comic that the worldbuilding has to be locked in.

What do you mean about the HAG/FAG cut out from narrative? Like the whole future self talking to the present not talking to them again? It's true that the only other appearance of FAG is on this page. We never heard anything about future Karkat or anyone else talk to the present/current characters by Act 6. I thought Feferi acting the way to Eridan when they were first seen pesterlogging each other was just her establishing her status as a fuschsiablood troll, the highest in the hemospectrum. True she is the type that wants to change Alternia to something less violent, but it doesn't escape the fact she is still using her privilege like the other highblood trolls, to dictate what is right and wrong. And in her case, her top position says nobody can say she is that wrong less they be culled. Nothing about it was her being like a not-homophobic parent, whatever the fuck that is. Doesn't help that Eridan is mostly seen talking to only Jade and Rose. Trolls that had supposedly talk to of the opposite sex is Nepeta for Dave (according to Alterniabound), Tavros and Rose, Kanaya and John(when he was using Rose's account to prank her), Vriska (for John), Terezi (John before moving onto Dave), Karkat (for Jade), Aradia (to Dave in Dream Bubbles), and Gamzee (to Rose if you count in the Dream Bubbles where she spotted him and didn't do shit to him). Sollux is seen to have interacted with Dave but only to show that he was the one who inputted the earlier commands (calling Dave an insufferable prick for Dave's intro). Equius talked to Dave because he mistook him for a highblood cause he had major training under Bro, not seeing anything abusive about it. Feferi interacted with Jade to only tell her she died and nothing came of it despite that it was Feferi herself who said and believed that the Beta Kids would be the one to help out and suggested it to Karkat. We don't know if Eridan had spoken with Dave or John. We can assume as Dave has Gamzee as his favorite troll and has roleplayed with Nepeta, but it's up for speculation on what their interaction is like and how each character feels for the other. Of course, it's not stopping anyone from shipping EriDave or JohnEri. I also think Alternia and trolls thinking humans having many names of sexuality labels, is suppose to be an ironic joke since these are the same trolls that are in a polygamy relationship and determine it by QUADRANTS. Basically, all the trolls who acknowledge or are into quadrants in some form (like Nepeta, Karkat, and Eridan), ARE HYPOCRITES. If it's not trolls being -phobic this or fetish that, then it's the fact the trolls believed their methods are superior to stupid humans.

[carrotcakecrumble]

OK, so for the ask game, I really want to know: 2,8,19,22,23,29!! I hand picked them (don't ask me on what criteria though......)

HI THANK YOUU

2. Scenes that live in your head rent free?

Only one, it starts where it says ‘Chapter 1’ and ends where it says ‘Chapter 16’

Ok no but fr, I LOOOOOVVVEEEE pillow talk scenes so that one scene where the car lights are coming in through the window and it’s dark and they’re in love and cuddling and Laurie’s telling Ralph to shut up for a minute🥹🥹🥹

8. If you could add one school scene to the book, what would it be?

Technically already answered BUT I have MANY MORE SO, let me say another, and idk if this technically counts but, I would loooooove a little Ralph-in-school backstory. Like his first crush, him coming to terms with himself etcetc. Very literally I would kill for it

19. Secondary character that needs more love?

I’m naming 2 bc I need to. Hazell and Sandy. Unloved, unfairly hated, they need a REDEMPTION it’s not fair🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️ tbh I might write a whole post on them bc🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️(and and uhhhh Dave👁️)

22. What was the soldier at the party about to reveal about Alec/Ralph?

Ok so I already answered this BUT I DO WANNA ADD — I feel like he was definitely gonna say something along the hooking up lines, but that doesn’t mean it’s necessarily true, it’s just goss (but also I truly truly hope it’s true)

23. Reg & Laurie and the way it ended

DONTBRINGTHISUP will one day finish my fic that addresses this because I CANT BELIEVE

THE AUDACITY OF IT ALL

but mainly my thoughts boil down to ‘Laurie be fr rn’

I understand it’s the whole thing about the betrayal of him telling Madge (i think), but can I just say, why shouldn’t he? Reg is quite good about it considering (and compared to others) in the context, but it’s obvious he does struggle reconciling the Laurie he knows with the societal idea he has of ‘cissies’ etc,,, as dramatic as it is from our modern viewpoint, he does have to come to terms with the fact that someone he see’s as a dear friend, a good and proper person, is also someone he’s been told are perverts and criminals (and everything that goes along with those titles.) So why shouldn’t he confide in his partner about it? I assume from his embarrassment at the reveal as well that maybe he made it clear that Madge shouldn’t say anything or something like that. Her bringing it up in front of everyone (considering it is illegal and looked down upon) is the wrongdoing in this scene, not really anything that Reg does. In fact, he seems to have accepted Laurie’s sexuality quite well, because up until that point we kind of get the impression that they’ll continue to be friends along the lines of don’t-mention-it-again, so isn’t it actually kinda nice that it isn’t that Reg is just completely ignoring it all, but that he is bringing it out into the open with his partner in private, trying to come to terms with it in order to continue a friendship with Laurie that’s based more on truth??? OK RANT OVER ANYWAY basically, I want them to be friends again pls🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️

29. Charioteerism you have adopted into your vocabulary?

I already spoke like a massive toff so I already had a few shsjsj, BUT BUT ‘my, my’ is such a VERSATILE LITTLE PHRASE i love it, say it all the time just naturally now🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️ and haven’t had a chance to use ‘aren’t we butch’ but as soon as the opportunity arises👁️👁️

[collectorcookie]

Okay before part 2, do you see them more as platonic soulmates then? :0

That's...actually kind of a difficult question. I mean i am a huge believer in polystar (including anzu) but i never really thought of trying to categorize them as platonic or romantic or sexual. There's like, platonic and romantic and even sexual aspects to polystar tbh and i just see them and accept them as they come. Like, mao obviously has a crush on anzu, makoto got all nervous and giddy when he thought anzu would confess to him on the rooftop, anzu simps for both hokke and mao, hokke somehow ends up making romantic gestures towards anzu on accident, subaru is generally affectionate to everyone but more often than not he is draping himself on anzu and hokke, the whole hokke constantly confessing to makoto thing. And there's even a mini story where it is very vaguely implied that mao and mako were having intercourse in the student council room (which haunts me because honestly why specifically there) and subaru was like "that's not fair! I wanna get some action too! Hokke come with me" and hokuto was like "the weather is far too hot for this get off my body"

But like, yeah. They're mostly platonic to me, until they're not. Idk. They just are a polycule that does stuff. Sometimes a relationship isn't a man and a woman, sometimes it's a man that wants to overthrow the government, a woman who has tried overthrowing the government before, fails and wants to help her boys not make the same mistakes again, a double spy agent always cleaning up after the unit, a natural born genius who is also kinda an emotionless sociopath but he doesn't show it, and a nerd who has horrible grades but is actually really intelligent and strategic and the unit's intel gatherer.

[haejjoon]

HELLO YES IM BACK strap in folks i hope u dont mind the spam cuz i love vomitting out brainworms online. Im glad my ask put u in a good mood! Because ur reply put me in one!! Anyways once again i love checking this blog like the daily newspaper to see everyone discussing things so fun

First of all i did see ur art of that rank 1! Powerful homoeroticism. I really enjoyed it. The "go all out? That sounds like fun" HEBDIWBZUWBIZN???????? Has the same vibe as goro's "ill need all the practice i can get to take you out" just the phrasing and the double meaning behind every one of these losers interaction constantly makes me go Oh? Oh! Oh... Oh! Ohhhhhhhhh ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Secondly, do not even get me started on the fucking romance options in the game. Im aroace and i haaate when every single confidant story with a girlie just has to go "wow u have helped me so much and ur so kind.....it must be because u have a crush on me!" Or "we've come to the obligatory rank where i somehow from somewhere at some point in time developed feelings for u and i have to ask u out!" Fuck no! Stop treating romantice relationships as the destined "upgrade" to your already existing friendship for fucks sake. Like i get that its a game mechanic for the players to have their fun and what not but it just pops out of nowhere sometimes and comeon even kawakami?????

On that note, idk how this fits but i love self projecting and hcing akiren and goro being on the aroace spectrum too but they haven't figured it out yet so it just makes the whole mess of complicated feelings between them even funnier

Goro to ann: "i hate this guy so fucking much" "are you sure you don't just have a crush on him" "what's a crush"

Goro: i hate how pretty that man is. i have to tackle him. i have to pin him down to the ground. no ann i do not want to hug him i want to Violently Crash My Body Into Him

It just adds more spice yaknow?

(Anyways thank you again for the food and happy lunar new year if u celebrate! 🍊🧧🍊🐇)

ehe the go all out line was probably my favorite, next to holmes/watson. thinking about the fact that akira can't do all-out attacks on his own in swap bc he doesnt have teammates... so of course going "all out" would be fun

yeah :( honestly i do feel sorry for turning the girls down but it'd just make me worse to accept their feelings. it really does say a lot about how theyve been treated by the men thus far, to start romantically liking the first guy who's half decent to them. ugh ladies this is why you gotta look at each other (looking at you, makoharu)

my goro has probably never had a romantic attraction to anyone in his life! ive always headcanoned him as sexually attracted to men, but demiromantic if that makes sense? hes got SO much going on with him, romance just isn't wven a possibility in his mind until akiren comes along

(happy late lunar new year to you too! im so sorry it took this long to respond aiooaaoaaooaoa i hope you're doing well <3)

[babiebom]

Ranking The Doctor Incarnations by How Much I’d Get Along with Them

A/N: my obsession with doctor who is back!!! I’m waiting on the new episodes and it’s actually killing me. I put off watching the last 15 minutes of 13s last episode to wait for the specials then couldn’t hold off on watching all of the specials in my excitement so I have no more media to rely on:( ALSO this is nuwho I explain it every doctor who post bc I feel like it needs to be said that I still haven’t watched classic who.

Tw:some cursing, some sexual mentions, some bullying lmao

Wc:its rankings and headcanons idfk babes

Doctor Who Masterlist

This is going to go from who I’d get along with most to least <3

1) Eleven

Okay so he wasn’t my first doctor or the doctor I started liking the show for

That was nine <3

But when I do daydream about being the doctors companion he is the one that becomes the default in my mind

Like I think I’d get along with him the most

I have no idea why it’s just if I’m daydreaming he is the one whose arms I run into

He’s the one I’m fighting for

And it might sound insane but I just know in my heart that if I had to be a companion of any of the doctors I’d be his.

I also do think that there would be a romantic aspect but it would be because I’d have a big honkin crush on him and I’d bully him for it

Like EWWWWW him? He has cooties. Weird alien cooties that I don’t want on me HMPH.

He just seems sweet and chaotic and the most fun to be around

I also think he would dance around the console room with me.

Like we’d be absolute fools together I think we would give ten x rose vibes like not the romance just the comfortable vibe between the two (and maybe romance if he likes me <3)

2) Fifteen

I know he’s new

But HOLY HELL

He gives off bestie vibes

And I know with his whole “luck and coincidences are a new language that I’m learning” thing

Sorry I forgot exactly what he says and I’m writing this while watching another show

Is right up my alley

Like YES

This is chaos and it’s fun and he already seems more….relatable?

Maybe it’s the tism

But like he’s who I would want to go on an adventure on.

Like oopsies my bad forgot we were on The same team in this game

Lemme just casually get trapped in a giant snowman balloon thing(I forgot what they’re called)

Then tell the police that it’s literally fine and that I’m busy

It would be VERY fun to be with him based on what I’ve seen

Would also dance around the console room with me

Nine

I think we’d get along greatly when it comes to the silly things

But with the more serious things I think we’d have a falling out

Because unlike the other companions I am not here to make you better

I will make you worse

Like when Rose stopped him from killing that Dalek in the beginning

I would been like 👀 okay you killing him or not. That beef has nothing to do with me I won’t stop you from getting revenge

Mostly bc I am the type of person that believes in revenge instead of “being the better person”

Like letting them go means letting them continue causing mayhem

Like TAKE THEM OUT

Like not to get off topic but Batman annoys me bc why arrest the joker or the penguin again and again and again

When you could literally save tons of people by getting rid of them

Would probably be mad at me after like “now why tf would you let me do that????”

“Idk you wanted to so??????”

Maybe I would make him a softer person but overall I’m just along for the ride like brother YOU know everything I am just here

Ten

I love him with all my heart

But he would piss me off

Like we would get along

But if there’s any feelings involved he would just make this insufferable if he doesn’t like me enough to stop comparing me to rose

I am a tenmartha believer fight me

Don’t fight me I’ll cry

But like he sorta seems kinda….thoughtless when it comes to poc and it’s not in a purposefully offensive way but like I said it’s thoughtless

If it’s a world where rose didn’t exist, or she didn’t impact him like she did I feel like he would be sweeter

But also more of a fuck boy

I do think he has romantic compatibility with almost everyone so again that would be a problem or fine depending on how he reacts

That’s why he’s this low because I feel like it GREATLY depends on his moods and it’s sorta unpredictable for me.

Thirteen

She kinda had a “I know everything and you know nothing” attitude that I didn’t enjoy

And that would make us have a big falling out because while I am the type of person to follow almost mindlessly

I hate it when people speak to me as if I’m dumb it’s one of my pet peeves

But other than that I think we’d get along fine

Like I feel like it would be mostly fun with her other than the “im better than you” thing she has going on

Like I feel like getting to see Rosa parks

And the one where they go to the vacation planet

And the whole competition that was the first like travel thing

Like while I didn’t like the writing of the episodes that much I thought it looked really fun!!

She would be fun to be around especially with her awkwardness

Like I feel like how socially awkward she is makes everything better because it would be me and her traveling and neither one of us understand social cues properly

Like EVERYONE is gonna be uncomfortable

Super funny

Twelve

While I LOVVVVVVVE twelve with all my heart

I do not think he would be fond of me

Like he likes people that ask the right questions like Clara and Bill are VERY intelligent and curious and clever people

And I’m not

So I think he wouldn’t really enjoy my presence

Like the others could get over my personality

I feel like he would be unable to

Like he’d find me boring and uninteresting and maybe not unworthy of his time but he wouldn’t find traveling with me fun

He’d be like “wHY do you NOT ask the important things??????”

I would also fall in love with him and he’d be like “oh….no…..no thank you…...”

Fourteen

Is literally just ten but sad and old?

But also learning to love himself?

I feel like they’re the same but fourteen is wiser and less self absorbed?

Which means he should probably be higher

But I still have the belief that they are one in the same

So it doesn’t really matter that he’s last because it evens out?

[synesindri]

lucifer gender symbolism essay part 11: villain gender in supernatural, effects

masterpost

i feel like this is the time to start talking about what the effect is of different villain genders, since this is the last section and ostensibly the conclusion. like, bela’s role with regard to the colt could easily have been a male character’s, but they decided to not to do that; azazel could easily have been portrayed by a woman but that’s not the choice they made (there’s a topic for a different meta, right?? jeez), etc — what does it mean for a villain on supernatural to be gendered one way or another? and then, from that, what is the effect of interpreting lucifer as a female-signified character vs a male-signified character?

tbh, i’m not sure it’s my place to say a lot about that. i feel like the effects vary a LOT depending on the viewer, and i’ve mostly been trying to focus on stuff i can point to directly in canon. but…there are some trends to how it seems like the show wants us to look at male vs female villains, so…i’ll try.

one major thing is that female villains are also often potential love interests (or sexual partners) for sam and/or dean in a way that male villains usually aren’t. specifically, sam and/or dean often are attracted to female villains in ways they aren’t to male villains. male villains like alastair might sexualize interactions with the main characters somewhat, but dean acts repulsed in a way he doesn’t act repulsed with bela (who he doesn’t like, but who he is also kind of into — and who sam is very explicitly attracted to her, given that good pussy eating dream lol). mostly the differences in the mains' sexual attraction to villains of different genders is just a product of spn being the kind of show that it is, but it also maybe has the effect of making the female villains seem more appealing, and the dangers they pose more insidious. there are things that are attractive to the main characters about some of the male villains for sure (e.g. gordon giving dean interactions he doesn’t get with sam; alastair being the allure of what dean sees as the most reprehensible desires he has to hurt others), but it’s less direct: sam and dean know they think the female villains are hot, and they sometimes wrestle with internal conflict about that. 

so: canon lucifer as a mostly male-faced villain registers as someone sam would be directly repulsed by despite some possible underlying appeals. lucifer as a female-faced villain would more as someone sam would be openly attracted to, even while being reviled by her. i REALLY would have loved to see a scene where lucifer appears as jess while sam KNOWS she’s lucifer, and the fact that they never showed that seems to suggest that they wanted to keep whatever appeal lucifer had for sam indirect/hidden/subtle/minimized. i expect that, had lucifer appeared as a woman more often to sam, there would have been more direct struggling built into the plot about things he might have found compelling about her even while being disturbed by himself and condemning her (i kind of wonder if they couldn’t do that because s4 put a lot of people off sam, so they wanted to bury aspect of his thoughts about lucifer to keep him more likable…idk just speculative)

male villains also often represent things the main characters dislike about themselves: alastair represents dean’s past of being torture and torturing; azazel represents sam’s monstrousness; gordon represents excessive all-or-nothing morality when it comes to hunting, etc — sam and dean tend to be openly reviled by these characters. female villains, on the other hand, often seem relatable and appealing at first: sam wanted to be friends with meg; he had a crush on bela, ruby was a straight up love interest for a whole season, etc. they also are arguably often positioned more as parallels to the mains than the male characters, who are more representative of abstract concepts: meg is also one of azazel’s “children” and she also positions herself (falsely, but optically) as also being someone trying to find a new life at a bus station; bela is also dealing with a demon deal hanging over her head like dean is and has a lot in common with the winchesters’ lifestyle; ruby (again, falsely) positions herself as having the same goals as sam to work alongside them, has various parallels to castiel and dean, and maybe gives sam some hope that demon-ness doesn’t have to mean someone is totally evil. basically, male villains often seem paradoxically more untouchable and abstract than female villains do whole also seeming more like personifications of the protagonists' fears about themselves (and tbh they're often father-coded...); female villains feel more grounded and real, almost like alternate versions of the main characters (more like sisters) (this is sooo not perfect a perfect comparison; there are various examples that don’t work like this at all, but still). 

this is SUPER interesting in its own right imo, that spn does some of its most accessible character parallels with cross-gender character pairs instead of same-gender ones, but ok. to apply this to lucifer: i get why they went with man-faced lucifer to keep him more abstract; he’s in a leadership role in a way that makes him not very relatable to the main characters, similar to azazel and alastair. lucifer represents some things sam doesn’t like about himself i guess (e.g. willing to go hard in an inadvisable direction because of being convinced they’re right, mainly? idk this is shaky to me, a lot of these fall apart when i poke at them...i guess just at a basic level though sam doesn’t like being the devil’s true vessel, so close enough). so that all works. HOWEVER lucifer is also very explicitly supposed to be a parallel to sam, not a mentor to him, so in that sense i feel like it would have worked to have lucifer appear woman-faced more of the time. i think if that had happened, she probably would have felt more accessible, and more like a real parallel than an abstract piece of sam's fears

despite this, gender does also separate characters sometimes, especially when it’s played up. a lot of the more relatable female villains look like they belong in the world of hunting: they wear functional clothes they can move in, they carry weapons, they’re usually wearing a full face of makeup and have their hair perfectly styled but there’s a kind of girl-next-door vibe to a lot of that due to the plaid and jeans and boots etc. high fem female villains though…that’s a different situation. the women in white look Different from the rest of the characters. they aren’t practical; they look like they're on a pedestal, like they shouldn't be a violence risk — but that’s deceptive, and so it’s scary in a more alien way. they look like they shouldn’t be able to do they harm they can do, or at least like violence shouldn't be the thing they're doing while dressed in an all-white dress; they look like they should be beauty queens or mothers or girlfriends or brides or whatever...and they might be, but they’re also very might here to slaughter.

putting lucifer in a man’s body, in hunter chic clothing, makes him seem more similar at face value to other characters on the show — more similar to sam, dean, and john, even, than most of the other office-worker-looking angels do at that point. he’s just some guy, a hunter, who also happens to be the devil. it’s appropriate, since that’s functionally what he is: he’s a hunter, he's just classifying humans as one of the many types of monster he needs to purge from the earth. a lucifer who wore a woman’s face, and especially an impractically dressed woman, would feel more alien, like her purpose here isn’t pragmatic but ritualistic, like her violence is a point of contrast to something else core about her (e.g. her victimhood, her beauty, her nature as a sacrifice, etc). she might feel more ethereal, more like the one-time most beautiful angel, more untouchable, and more abnormal. she would be more of an obvious symbol, more distant from other characters, more artificial, more overtly a victim as well as a villain, and maybe more dangerous.

given the victimhood types of female vs male villains, the effects of those are different. female villains often seem more vicious, i suspect because of this: they’re reacting to things that happened to them, and the perceived difference in agency between “victim” and “monster” is often greater than the difference between “the loved one of a victim” and “monster” (i have psych papers to back this point up if anyone is curious), so it’s more startling to have someone like constance welch do something horrible, even disregarding how vicious she actually is about it. female-signified lucifer’s trauma would probably be more front-and-center than male-signified lucifer’s trauma was, she might address it directly more often, and she might be more reactive to reminders of it.

again, there are more effects interpreting lucifer as symbolically fem could have, but i’m looking at this more as a jumping off point. so, those are my thoughts.

thank you for reading this part, and any other parts of this essay you might also have read. i hope you found it interesting and/or entertaining!

part 10: villain gender in supernatural, comparisons masterpost