#and then like i said american concerts make me want to shoot myself in the head | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sanstropfremir · 4 years ago

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the hotly anticipated kingdom episode 7 review is here!!

this episode was a lot less spectacle-y than the last one (the last episode with stages, i mean), and i think that was a good choice for all the groups on the whole to tone it down on the run up to the finale, because at the rate everyone was headed there would be no room to go any higher. i'm very glad that there was actually a collab stage and not just a song swap, especially because it gives a chance for the boys to work together and make friends when they otherwise arent going to be able to interact much. love love love to see them making friends and having fun doing these stages!

i'm not really sure why mnet didnt put the vocal stage this episode, because what on earth else are they going to put in the next episode with it??? i know it's a content stretch but still, it seems like a weird choice to me. anyways, there’s four stages for me to talk about this time and i'm going to try to not ramble out of control, but we’ll see. i did enjoy watching all of these, but we’ve all got favourites and i'm going to rank by which group i liked better out of the two for each stage, and then i put a few conclusions at the end. strap in folks this is another long one.

rap stages

skz + btob + atz

i was actually really surprised at how much i liked this stage. i would not classify myself as a rap fan and believe it or not i actually do not place a lot of importance on lyrics when enjoying music. although i have very high lyric retention and comprehension, i focus more on the sound than the literal words, so a fair amount of rap is swing-and-a-miss in my personal listening. plus when you add a language barrier on top of that, a lot of the nuance and technical skill of it just flies over my head. so i really dont have much to say about the sonic elements this time around, sorry. also.....i know i joked that nobody from the kingdom staff is reading my reviews.....but is someone from the kingdom staff reading my reviews????? i specifically mentioned that i think skz should do an art themed stage and then we got one????? i know i manifested the punk ateez stage but did i manifest this also??? am i just that powerful???

costume

obviously these are pretty basic rap/hiphop stage looks, but the white was a really good choice for visibility’s sake, and also thematically: it reflects the colours in the lighting really well.

i am DYING to know who the designer of minhyuks jacket is. if somebody knows please tell me i love it so much. it looks like some of the recent belted jackets that dior was putting out, but the drawing on the front armscythe piece reminds me of the superm/kim junggi collab for tiger inside. say whatever you want about superm, but you cannot deny that that is not some of the coolest merch on the kpop scene.

loved the traditional korean elements that came through in addition to the western references: the screens, hongjoong’s fan, minhyuk’s big fuckoff brush, the masks, and the sleeves on the dancers at minhyuk’s bit. those are a costume feature from a style of korean traditional masked dance called bongsan talchum. the masks themselves are versions of hahoetal masks, which are used in a very specific archetypal ritual dance in andong. i think these are imae masks, who is the servant/fool archetype that mocks the nobleman and the scholar. i suspect that was a deliberate choice, but i can only speculate.

another point about the masks which is not relevant but maybe a fun fact for people who don’t know. i actually thought at first that they were western theatre half masks, which are a very old style of mask that, like with hahoetal masks, represent a number of archetypes/stock characters. maskwork is a very common training practice in theatre schools, because it teaches body language and control, because half your face is covered and you cannot speak in your own voice (sometimes you cannot speak at all, this is one of the rules of full mask). the tradition of usings masks to portray emotion goes all the way back to the ancient greek chorus, but more commonly people in the west sometimes know it from the italian commedia dell’arte, of which you will have definitely seen some of the character archetypes before. i just find it neat that the same types of art pop up in different places seemingly independently of each other. humans are cool.

set

not much to say here, it's pretty bare with just some propwork. thought the screen use was fun and they used it smartly in a couple of transitions.

thought changbin’s bit of ‘interrupting’ the artists was cute and fun. there’s obviously a picasso reference there, and the four technicolour paintings are a reference to andy warhol’s pop art silkscreen portraits, most famously of marilyn monroe, but he also did many other celebrities in the 70s and 80s.

lighting

i LOVED this lighting. super bright and fun, lots of use of colour, obviously. the projections were there to enhance the visuals and weren’t distracting in any way. i thought the transition to black and white/ink with minhyuk was smart and had good contrast, it gave a strong rhythm to build back up to for the climax.

sound

bang chan’s ‘spelling colour with a u’ bit had me SCREAMING with laughter. we spell colour with a u normally bang chan, the americans are the ones that are wrong.

staging

i don’t really have a whole lot to say here, it was pretty straightforward and fun. like i’ve said in previous reviews, i wish they were more conscious of the steadicam direction and would stop showing extended bits of the production crew. at least everyone was wearing full blacks this time.

fun use of the upward angle combined with the groundwork/leg choreo during hongjoong’s verse, that was a highlight for me.

sf9 + tbz + ikon

nothing against this stage, the other one just hit harder for me. bobby is the best rapper on the show and he really carried this stage with his charisma. he’s a fun performer to watch and he knows how to command a space. i'm sure there’s technical notes that people have about the raps themselves, but i'm here looking at visuals as a priority, which i'm sure you’ve all grasped at this point.

costume

these were clearly extensions of these idol’s personal styles, with is a perfectly fine choice, especially for a rap stage where the emphasis is more on authorship. LOVED bobby’s 11yro girl at recess look.

amusing that both rap stages involved paint in some way? loved the backup dancers shooting supersoakers filled with paint at them, but i wish i knew the reason for it? i'm glad i saw this stage first because i would have been underwhelmed by the paint throwing if i had seen this after rainbow bonanza.

set

almost no set at all here, just a few props. i'm not judging as harshly on lack of set this round because these stages are meant to be more about skill than anything else.

lighting

i loved the projections, i thought they were unobtrusive and i admit, i LOVE outer space themed anything.

i liked that they did more concert lighting and had no projections in the first half to put more focus on the performers, it really highlighted the fact that this stage was about them, and not about anything extraneous.

sound

it was indeed a song.

staging

i do wish there had been a bit more control of the space, because it did look very empty at some parts and they could have staved that off by keeping tighter camera shots. this stage is so fucking big, holy shit.

they really brought their onstage chemistry and they looked like they were having a blast, which FINALLY!!

i actually really liked hwiyoung’s opening, i think there was a lot of potential there for some sharp contrast work that i wish had been played through a little more, especially with the cool white light overtop the black costumes. it actually reminded me a bit of the intro in the music video from a rapper i do actually listen to, bewhy’s gottasadae.

glad to see some more use of camera effects with the black and white, but why did they do it over the paint throwing? it just made the trajectory of the paint invisible because there was no colour contrast.

performance stages

sf9 + tbz + ikon

ok obviously im gonna have a lot more to say about the performance stages, nobody is surprised there. this one was the better constructed of the two and my personal pick for better stage, but i actually liked watching the both of them equally.

costume

king shit, literally. we love contemporary hanbok in this house. there was good colour and style distinction between the three of them without clashing.

costume change was fun and neatly blocked, it's pretty common to see backup dancers and chorus hiding quickchanges but i liked how this was a more unusual formation.

taeyang rocking the organza skirt and the big purple eyeshadow, thank you for keeping it cunty as always.

i really liked juyeon’s underlayer look. finally we get a good tbz costume look thats thematically relevant!

set

like all the stages this round, pretty minimal. the setting was almost entirely established through the costumes and the projections, which is some really good designwork. it's pretty much just the litters (the lifted chairs they entered on), and some smaller props. they managed to not make the stage feel empty because there was a lot of projection visuals to compensate, which is difficult to do without being overbearing, but i think they mostly pulled it off.

i originally thought it was gonna be weird to try and mesh the traditional korean architectural aesthetic with the weird mnet deco, but i ended up not noticing it as much as i thought i would.

lighting

like i just said, projections very well done and do a fantastic job of conveying setting without being overly distracting. like with the atz/skz/btob rap stage there’s a really broad range of colour use here that they offset by brightening and properly fill lighting the faces so you can actually see what’s happening.

the use of the strobing lasers and more concert style lighting fit really well with the change in the music from traditional instrument sounds to electronica and the more hiphop/isolated movements.

sound

i liked it well enough! i think it had a good arc that we can see echoed through the rest of the piece, like previously stated in the lighting and movement style.

staging

like i mentioned with the quickchange, there was some really interesting formations using the backup dancers here, especially as a lead toward/away from the camera

having the three of them enter on litters; again, literal king shit, love to see it.

this has a pretty clear narrative that doesnt really need an external explanation, which is good. i have to assume that the burning of the paper with 妃 (concubine) is intended to be a gesture of ‘burning’ the love out of their hearts, but that was the only thing i'm still confused on. this may very well turn out to be a reference to a specific story that i just have no idea what it is, but we’ll see once the subs are out!

i loved juyeons solo bit with the alcohol drinking and the table flip, that was the choreographic highlight for me. i just really wish he would use the other muscles in his face more often. we know youre pretty, you dont have to blue steel your way through all your performances!! take a page out of donghyuk’s book and make some ugly faces, it's good for you!!

i though taeyang’s swordwork was fine, but since i do actually have a decade of sword training i'm very judgemental. it's not bad, he obviously has practiced with the weapon and he knows how to control it, but he doesn’t have the same understanding as someone who has trained with a sword as a weapon and not just as a prop. if we hadn’t seen another stage with swordwork in it i probably wouldn’t have brought this up (that's a lie, i still would have brought it up, i have a third dan), but you can really see the difference between how minhyuk moves with his sword and how taeyang moves. a lot of this has to do with the proper weighting of the blade, which i mention briefly in my second episode review in btob’s section (and also this ask here, where i talk about properly weighted weapons in relation to the gun choreo in sf9’s and ateez’s previous stages); minhyuk is likely using a ‘real’ sword (it’s blunted but still made using proper methods and materials), and taeyang is using a cheaper-made replica (unless you’re doing full contact striking a LOT there’s no way a properly made blade breaks like that. also you would never tape it together hello??? respect the blade). if you know what you’re looking for, you can tell from the movements themselves when someone has training. minhyuk did a load of real training for a film where he was a swordsman, and you can tell; the sword is an extension of his arm, all the movements lead with the tip of the blade first, because that’s your first, your fastest, and your most dangerous point. you do 90% of your cutting with the first eight inches of blade, but it takes a lot of specific training to get your hands and arms to a place where that kind of movement is possible. taeyang’s movements are driven from his hands, which is unsurprising, because that’s where he’s used to his extensions stopping. the tip follows rather than leads. wow this got insanely sidetracked i hope you liked this crash course on swordwork.

this is pretty much what i expected to see from this unit. these three groups all have standout soloists, so i wasn’t surprised to see these three boys as the picks. juyeon and taeyang especially, theyre both from groups that are more likely to do experimental stages and choreography that highlights them as soloists and skilled dancers.

skz + btob + atz

this was a letdown from ateez’s last two stages, because they knocked those out of the park, but it's only fair that they have a bit of a fall. that being said, i did really enjoy watching this for its sheer ridiculousness; i’m forgiving the wolf concept this time because well, it’s wolf. you can't cover wolf and not do a wolf concept, that’s against the law. also, like i’ve said before, i'm all for dark concepts IF you give them thematic weight. is it on the nose? yes. is it thematically relevant? also yes. is it dumb? also also yes, but that’s never stopped a single kpop group in the history of ever.

costume

friendship restored with ateez stylists, rivalry started with skz stylists. the fur shoulder fluffs??? stupid and i love them. perfect in every way. however i keep seeing the same fucking costumes on the skz boys and i will come directly for the stylists at jype if they dont get their shit together. be! more! creative!!!

i really really wish they had gone more 2013 kpop with it, we need more of that ugly ridiculous styling. peniel was actually pretty close, with the overly long tunic and those yellow lenses. very vixx on and on (yes i know they were vampires from outer space, let me live)

i actually thought the wolf gloves were fun? the small bits of uv paint actually worked instead of looking out of place, and i'm glad they put them on wooyoung because the uglier an outfit, the better he pulls it off.

set

same dice, just the long table and the camo net at the beginning, which i thought was unnecessary. the table was useful for levels though, so happy to see they utilized that.

lighting

there is so much happening all the time. lots of lasers. it's definitely aiming for camp territory, and i dont actually hate it as much as i did on my first watch. it actually wasn’t as dark as i thought either, because its mostly lit with blue and amber. but it doesn’t really have that great of an arc and its not really that good on the whole.

the projections are a bit much for me, but that’s only when i'm actually looking at them. true to form, i didn’t even notice the excess of red slashes until like my fourth rewatch because i was too busy watching the performers.

sound

rookie exo my beloved. the original wolf goes so hard for absolutely no reason, so i’m not knocking this stage for being ridiculous. in fact it should have been more ridiculous. i think they did a fine job updating the song for a.....less 2013 sound.

i like that they didn’t bother to live sing the stage even though they recorded vocals for it, it gave them all a chance to actually focus on just the dance.

that being said, i am kind of missing all the adlibs from the original. but even though there’s some strong vocalists in this unit, they aren’t made of the same stuff as baekhyun, luhan, chen, AND d.o.

i literally just realized that peniel had already debuted when this song came out AND is technically exo’s senior because btob debuted like two weeks before exo officially did.....oh no

staging

choreographically this feels a lot more like the skz stages that we’ve seen rather than the ateez ones, so i'm curious as to who the choreographer was.

the tricking was definitely more ridiculous in this one, but i can't really say any of it was there for no reason because it all had elements of fighting in it. the scale of the tricks was quite large though and not very well blended with the rest of the choreo, which ending up making them look awkward. i thought it was a nice detail that they shone a green toplight on the dancers that made up the cliff wooyoung climbed up so that it looked like there was grass on it. cute.

the blocking is lacking a lot of fluidity, and i think that’s partially the scale of the tricking and also the editing, because this editing is TERRIBLE. there’s so much cutting, why is there so much cutting!! haven’t we already learned that longtakes are the best for this???

there’s a lot of stuff here that had good potential but could have been pushed a little farther. i feel like i say this for every mediocre stage, but what can i say, i'm good at constructive criticism.

they should have given more showcase to the tree and the scratching arms; it's the most iconic move!! i also wish they had kept some kind of iteration of the different unit ‘leaping’ in over the exiting one, i always thought that part of the original choreo was really fun and did a lot for establishing them as wolves.

i LOVED peniel entering with all those backup dancers in chains, thats some fucking iconic shit. very ‘im the alpha wolf,’ which is valid because he’s like at LEAST five years older than everyone else on the stage. i wish that instead of being the backup dancers it was the actual members, because THAT would have been an image. theyre all wearing harnesses and collars anyways, just clip em in! he’d be like one of those dogwalkers!

me last week: specifically talking about how krump is an uncommon style in kpop and it's very hard to get right kingdom, throwing the manifesting dodgeball at me for the third time: here would you like a KRUMP SOLO?

if you didnt believe me before that krump is hard to get right, i sure hope you do now. peniel did fine, but you can see how easily you can veer off into looking ridiculous.

some conclusions

i mentioned this really briefly in an ask i got earlier today, but i do think it's important to establish that the two performance units are doing two different types of performances. i can understand why people are underwhelmed by the atz/skz/btob stage and wanted it to be less of a traditional kpop dance stage and more like the experimental stages we’ve been seeing for the last few weeks. and i agree! i think they could have done more with it. but i also think that this kind of stage was a good choice for this particular subunit. unlike with the sf9/tbz/ikon unit, there are not really any standout technical soloists in ateez or skz. ateez has, in my opinion, the highest ratio of dancers with actual stage presence of any of the 4th gen groups ive seen. they’re at a solid 75% for any given performance, and occasionally they can bump that higher depending on the stage. that high of a stat is rare. it's extremely rare for a group to have all its members have good stage presence (i can think of like, maybe two or three?), and to get over 50% is pretty damn impressive. but ateez’s strength isn’t in how good they individually are as dancers, but it's in how well they work together. there’s a reason why they put FIVE of them in the performance unit. one of the first things i said about ateez to hanya is ‘i love wooyoung but he doesn’t stand out when he's not centre.’ which is for good reason!! he’s not supposed to! they all willingly give up centre and take it back when they need to, because they have that charisma. there’s a very cohesive push and pull to watching ateez that speaks to their strengths as performers. dancing in a group where you are all meant to be equal is a very different skill than just being a talented soloist. you have to understand what to prioritize in a different way. taemin dances differently with shinee that he does in his solo career, especially since they’ve been back. he understands when to step back; more often than not i find key to be the standout dancer in shinee choreo.

this is a very long winded way of saying that wolf was a good choice for them even though the stage didn’t turn out as well as it could have. also the fact that they made a cohesive performance at all, with a week of rehearsal and while working with essentially strangers is a feat and speaks to all of their skill at their job. performing in a group is a huge part of kpop, and they did call this the performance stage, and not the dance stage.

i'm not entirely sure on what the breakdown is on why each of the subunits were formed. i know the team sizes are extremely uneven, with sf9/tbz/ikon clocking in at 26 people and atz/skz/btob clocking in at 17 (i'm not counting changsub because he's not there and probably has a scheduling conflict), which is like, a whole extra group of difference. but atz/skz/btob utilizing their whole groups for each of the units (5/3/1 for performance, 1/3/1 for rap, and 1/1/1 for vocal, for 7/7/3 total), verses sf9/tbz/ikon only bringing out six people for these two stages and then six for the vocal stage is......weird? that's over half of their group number that’s not performing. i do think the groups brought out their standout performers and made smart choices with the stages but the balance still strikes me as odd. i do wish tbz had actually done some group choreo because they are very strong group performers and it would have been fun to watch.

ateez really played the long game here, good job boys. teaming up with the group who gets the highest fan votes AND the group with the strongest technical skills? i see you.

i think this is probably too wild of an assumption and is only based on circumstantial evidence but.....i think hongjoong might actually have a lot more creative sway than i previously thought. all the stages he’s been a part of have been very well designed, and i know he provided suggestions for the two ateez stages prior to this... i’m probably thinking too much.

ok you know what i know there were some other points in my brain somewhere but this is already 4000 words so i’m going to stop. if i remember anything else its probably gonna end up in the answer to some of the asks i’m inevitably going to get because i think my opinions on these ones are a little bit more controversial, whoops!

not entirely sure if ill do an extensive review for next week’s stage, because i'm not really a ballad fan and i dont really do vocal reviews, but i could do a quick one. i guess it also depends on what else they put in the episode. we’ll see!!

#kingdom #kingdom review #ateez #btob #stray kids #the boyz #sf9 #kpop analysis #if you read this i hope you like fun facts about theatre and swords!#despite having never seen me hanya managed to clock that hongjoong and i are extremely similar #so that might be why ive jumped to this nonsensical conclusion #also tbh i do have an opinion on why the unit breakdowns are like that but its mean so i will keep it to myself #ok im done now #i patiently await my asks #text #lol forgot to tag #ikon

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justasparkwritings · 4 years ago

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Peace: As My Brothers

Previous: Loves for Show

Pairing: Jungkook X Reader

Genre: Angst / Slice of Life

Rating: PG15

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings: Swearing, Redemption, Mentions of Past Abuse

Summary: Apologies and forgiveness aren’t for the faint of heart.

Listening: peace by Taylor Swift

Peace Master List

You swung the door open as far as its hinges would allow and screamed “You’re here!” before barreling down the path that led to your two-bedroom home, a small bungalow in West Hollywood. You’d rented it for years, the owners telling you that if they ever decided to sell, you’d be their first pick. You were honored, but a two bedroom wouldn’t fit your future plans.

As you jumped up and down, you watched Jimin, Taehyung and Ho-Seok climbed out of the chauffeured car. They ran to you, Tae being first to wrap his arms around you. They were beaming. In the year since your first visit to Korea, the four of you had become best friends, facetime calls, game nights, watch parties and heartfelt discussions had transpired. Your life had become consumed by them, and you were grateful. It was easier to miss Jungkook when the other men were constantly seeking you out. You loved them endlessly, and they you.

“We made it!” Ho-Seok yelled, pulling you from Tae to wrap his arms around you.

“Your house is so cute!” Jimin said, admiring the mid-century modern exterior.

“Come in, Jungkook’s making something, unsure what,” You said, guiding them into your home.

“Wow,” They chorused, taking in your entryway and living room.

“It’s so cozy!” Jimin declared.

“No wonder Kook never wants to leave,” Taehyung said.

“Oh my gosh, look at that picture!” Ho-Seok had spotted the one photo you displayed of you and Jungkook, taken on your first anniversary, six months ago.

“You guys are so cute,” Jimin said.

“Hi,” Jungkook called, coming out of the kitchen to hug his bandmates. He’d come to LA two weeks early to spend time with you and discuss what you wanted to do about the hyung line. You’d spent the last year avoiding the dorms in Korea and avoiding the three men who had shattered your heart. Jungkook had forgiven them and had gotten management on your side. They no longer wished you to break up but acknowledged that you were becoming an integral part of Jungkook’s life. If they wanted Jungkook to stay with BTS, they needed to respect your relationship and your boundaries. Big Hit did everything in their power to ensure your privacy and were slowly becoming more open to the idea of you being around long term.

“Do you want a tour?” You asked, staring at the three men. They nodded eagerly, excited to see your home in person. Numerous Facetime calls had given them glimpses but seeing where you lived in person was thrilling. They could see where Jungkook had carved space for himself, part of a drawer in the bathroom, a few items of clothing in the closet, a handful of books in Korean on your bookshelf. In the kitchen, they were pleasantly surprised to see your pantry stocked with Korean goodies. Your time with Jungkook had opened your palate, and in his absence, you often made recipes that you knew he loved, partially in an attempt to be closer to him, and partially to strengthen your skills to impress his mother. She liked you, but she wasn’t in love with the idea of her son being with a non-Asian, American. You hoped, both in secret and aloud, that making these recipes would win her approval. Your next trip to Korea, to really spend time with the Jeon clan, was at the end of the year… Maybe you’d be better by then.

“This whole place is amazing,” Jimin commented, taking a seat on the couch.

“Thank you, I love living here,” You smiled.

“So, you know they’re on their way, right?” Ho-Seok said, eyes concerned as he glanced between you and Jungkook.

“Yes,” You said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the past year, you were adamant that you wanted nothing to do with Yoongi, Jin and Namjoon. You didn’t respond to their texts or failed attempts at apologizing. When at their concerts in London, Dubai, and various places in the states, you didn’t speak to them and preferred to watch from a seat in the crowd and not backstage for fear that you would have to interact. Your short trip to Korea was for the purpose of meeting the Jeon family and seeing Jimin, Tae and Ho-Seok, who met you at the hotel for dinner and drinks your last night there. The three days you spent in Korea were at the Jeon house, Jungkook’s family surrounding you. Then, Jungkook whisked you to Beijing and Tokyo and bid you adieu.

After their fateful conversation a year prior, Jungkook had told the three eldest members that he would speak to them after you had flown home. Before then wasn’t an option, he hadn’t had time to process, he hadn’t the emotion to give. His only focus was you. Yoongi, Jin and Namjoon were hesitant to wait five days to speak with Jungkook but gave him the grace to spend those days with you.

Jungkook came home from taking you to the airport, tears cascading down his face. Jin had been in the kitchen, and caught his shoulders shaking as he walked through the room.

“Jungkook,” He said, turning the heat down on the stove and walking over to the maknae. “What happened?”

“She’s gone,” Jungkook responded, wiping his snot on the back of his shirt.

“For good?” Jin was immediately panicked.

“For, a while. I don’t know when I’ll be able to see her again,” Jungkook looked up at Jin, his eyes saucers. He knew Jungkook was falling in love, but he hadn’t expected him to be this heartbroken at your departure.

“It’ll be okay,” Jin said, reaching to pull Jungkook into a hug. Namjoon entered and noticed the embrace.

“JK, you alright?” He asked, moving towards the stove top to peak at what Jin was making.

“I’ll be fine,” He said, pulling away from Jin.

“When are you going to talk to us?” Namjoon wondered.

“Not today. I need to talk to management first,” Jungkook went to the fridge to grab a beer and started heading towards his bedroom.

“I’m making your favorite,” Jin called.

“I’m not hungry,” Jungkook said.

Jin and Namjoon glanced at each other, they knew he was lying. They knew he’d be lying to them until he had sorted out his emotions. Pushing off their conversation was a stalling tactic, and the older men hated to wait to apologize. But it gave Jin, Namjoon and Yoongi more time to sort their own feelings and try to build trust with Jungkook again.

As the six members sat to dinner, Jungkook’s absence noticeable, Yoongi took a plate to his door and knocked gently.

“Kookie, you don’t have to talk to me, but here’s dinner. You need to eat, and drink water. Losing all those tears will dehydrate you,” Yoongi placed the plate and bottle of water outside his door and went back to the dining room.

“Why is he so upset?” Jimin asked.

“We uh, we had a chat and it didn’t go well,” Namjoon, ever the politician, responded.

“You made her cry,” Taehyung said.

“No,” Ho-Seok looked from Jin to Namjoon, “You did?”

“Management asked us to speak to her and, it didn’t go well,” Jin told them.

“Of course not! You don’t even know her! You broke her heart!” Taehyung was angry. Both you and Jungkook had texted him, telling him parts of what had happened. He couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe management had been so blatantly cruel, or that his hyungs, his brothers, had done it. Not to Jungkook, not to you, his new best friend. He hadn’t had the words to tell Ho-Seok or Jimin, and he realized it wasn’t his place. Jungkook needed to tell them. And as you had reached out to Taehyung, asking him to keep an eye on your love, he knew they were in for their biggest fight to date.

“Taehyung, this isn’t a group conversation,” Yoongi snapped.

“It is! We talk when we’re upset with each other, we work it out,” Jimin countered.

“Jungkook isn’t speaking to us,” Yoongi said, resuming his place between Jimin and Ho-Seok.

“He isn’t?” Ho-Seok asked, trying to piece the puzzle together.

“No, and I don’t know when he will,” Namjoon said.

“You really fucked up, didn’t you?” Taehyung snapped.

“How will we fix this?” Ho-Seok asked.

“I don’t know,” Jin said.

“You’re his hyung, can’t you make him talk?” Jimin asked.

“No,” Jin said, “My charms are no help, we betrayed him.”

They’d left it like that. The maknae line only understood the depths of the betrayal when they’d gone to practice and seen Jungkook ice them out. He didn’t look at them, he didn’t speak to them. To Taehyung, Jimin and Ho-Seok, Jungkook was his usual self, laughing, bantering through their practice, like nothing had happened.

After speaking with management, Jungkook had called a house meeting. The seven men sat around their living room, sun setting, and stared at one another.

“So, we’re here to talk about what happened between myself, Jin and Yoongi, and Jungkook’s girlfriend, Y/N.” Namjoon started.

“How did it happen?” Jungkook asked.

“Management scheduled a few meetings with us and told us we needed to speak to you about your relationship,” Yoongi said.

“Why did you do it?” Jimin asked.

“We tried to get out of it, we tried to put it back on them… They insisted we do it,” Jin answered.

“You were so cruel,” Jungkook looked from Namjoon to Yoongi, eyes boring into him. “You were trying to hurt her. She was right. There were a hundred nicer ways you could’ve spoken to her and you chose to be vicious.”

“I’m sorry,” Yoongi said. “I, I was the worst, I was shooting to kill. I figured it would be easier to rip off the band aid than to dance around it.”

“The things you said, Yoongi,” Jungkook shook his head. Hearing the words second hand from you was far worse than hearing them from Yoongi. How could you repeat the horrors that he’d said?

“I’m sorry, Jungkook,”

“Management gave us that list… We tried, Jungkook, we tried to stop it, we tried to take all the items off the list, we tried to put an end to it,” Namjoon’s eyes were pleading.

“They didn’t care, they wanted answers, and they thought we could find out.” Jin added.

“I’ve had words with management. What I can’t wrap my head around is how you thought you could speak to her like that, and then come to me like nothing happened. Or how you thought that speaking to her, in such deplorable ways would ever benefit our relationship, as brothers or members. I have been working so fucking hard to trust you, and now,” Jungkook looked to Namjoon, anger seething from his lips. He dared Joon to answer.

Instead, the men sat in silence, not having a solution.

“I do not know if I will ever trust you,” Jungkook said standing. “You need to apologize to Y/N. She’s not coming back, not here, not for a long time. She will not speak to the three of you or have any contact with you from here forward. You destroyed her on such a deep level, and I don’t know if she’ll forgive you.”

“You guys fucked up,” Taehyung said, “She’s the fucking coolest person.”

“Did she send you that playlist before she took off?” Jimin asked, looking at Ho-Seok and Taehyung.

“Oh yeah, I’ll send it to you,” Taehyung reached into his pocket to retrieve his phone.

“So, we’re done?” Seokjin asked, trying to hide the tears in his eyes.

“I don’t have anything else to say,” Jungkook responded.

“You two still haven’t apologized,” Ho-Seok pointed out.

“I want to speak to Jungkook in private,” Namjoon said, glancing at the maknae. He nodded and guided him to his room.

Namjoon looked around, it hadn’t changed in the week since he’d last been in there. Except there was a new piece of art on the wall, a small embroidered hoop with the front of a restaurant, hanging on his wall. Namjoon guessed it was the restaurant where you two had met.

“What?” Jungkook stood, his posture strong in an attempt to level the playing field.

“I’m so sorry,” Namjoon broke down, tears streaming down his face. “I know I fucked up, I know that I hurt you and Y/N. I’m sorry, I don’t know how to make it up to you.”

Jungkook wasn’t a cold man. He was a little petty but in the year since treatment, he was rarely spiteful. He was angry, disgusted, horrified, but he understood the precarious position management had put Yoongi, Namjoon and Seokjin in. He was sorry they had to do it, and sorry it had caused a rift between you and his hyungs. He was primarily sorry that your already tainted relationship with them was nearing the point of never recovering.

Jungkook didn’t buckle, he didn’t pull his hyung to him or held him as he cried.

“I don’t forgive you, Joon.” Jungkook said before leaving Namjoon a weeping mess in his room.

Seokjin and Jungkook shared a similar conversation, and in their usual fashion, it was over noodles. Jin apologized for his role, saying that he was pressured into doing it, and sorry that Jungkook had to be the first of them to go through this, that it wasn’t fair Namjoon’s significant other didn’t have to undergo this, him being older and the leader. He had operated under stricter measures, but not being the Golden Maknae gave Namjoon a leg up. Regardless, it wasn’t fair, Seokjin was the eldest, it should’ve been him.

Though Jungkook accepted Yoongi and Seokjin’s apologies, he remained distant, and the three hyungs had to respect his decision. They’d betrayed him again and they’d insulted you. They would give Jungkook all the time he needed to regain any amount of trust in them.

“What are you going to say to them?” Jimin asked.

“Well, you’ll be here too so you’ll hear it,” You responded, shrugging.

You heard a car door close and looked out the window to see Namjoon leading the charge.

Jungkook turned to you, cupping your cheek and placing a delicate kiss to your forehead. The other men cooed, loving how tender their golden maknae was with you.

“It’s going to be okay,” He said, holding you close.

“I hope so,” You stood as you heard a knock on the door. Taehyung and Jimin raced to it, opening it and loudly yelling, “Welcome to our crib!”

You laughed as the three men walked into your home, careful to slip their shoes off.

“Welcome,” You said, staring the three men down.

“Thank you for having us,” Jin responded. He was excited to speak to you, and to see Jungkook. The times he’d been able to watch his brother with you had been brief, which was hurtful to Jin, but protected you. He’d seen the glimmer in Jungkook’s eye, the blush that was present on his cheeks, the smile that never seemed to fade when you were on his mind. Jin wanted to know what that kind of love felt like, he wanted to watch the man he’d raised shine as a partner. He was tired of being iced out.

“Why don’t you have a seat?” You suggested, guiding them through the entryway and into the living room. The men took a seat, and soon you all sat staring at one another.

“Do you want to start?” Jungkook sat with a hand resting on your thigh, slowly moving up and down, trying to give you comfort.

“Sure,” You looked at him, his gaze giving you a sense of calm as you took a deep breath. “So, Jungkook says that when there’s a problem in BTS, the seven of you sit down and talk it out. That’s what I would like to do today,” You took another breath, deciding you were going to be stoic, honorable, not weak or timid. You would have courage in your convictions, nerves be damned.

“When Yoongi, Seokjin and Namjoon sat me down, I had hoped it would be to bond or set up a time to hang out, the four of us. I hoped you’d heard I like rap music or was interested in some of the things you were… I hoped it was to create a semblance of friendship with the three men Jungkook regards so highly. I was already becoming friends with Tae, Hobi and Jimin. I thought maybe you wanted to be friends too, which was contrary to your behavior, and honestly, contrary to the fear I had about engaging with you three,” Your voice cracked, remembering the way they’d iced you out, the ways they’d broken Jungkook. “The moment I arrived, you didn’t speak to me, you didn’t try to get to know me, you were cool, barely cordial… I didn’t know why you disliked me. I didn’t know what I had done or said to make you so…” You shook your head, the tears starting to form. “Then you sat me down and you said those things, those awful, disgusting things, and I never once used what you did to him against you, I never once raised my voice, or spoke of how he was when I met him… all because of you. Instead, I realized that even though Jungkook loved you, you were never going to accept me. Nothing I did was going to help you see me differently, except staying by Jungkook’s side and proving that what I said was true.

“So that’s what I did, and I had to grapple with the knowledge that even if you did it because of management, and even if it was their words, you still chose to hurt me. For the past year, I’ve been working through what happened, I’ve been trying to understand the precarious situation you were put in, and how Jungkook and I were going to move forward. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve cried, the number of events I haven’t gone to, to support Jungkook, because I would have to interact with the three of you. I can’t tell you the number of texts and calls I’ve received from the maknae, trying to help me reach a place where I can forgive you for what you did to me. I don’t know if what I’ve done this year was the best, I know it hurt you, it hurt Jungkook, but it protected me. It’s taken me a long fucking time to get to this point, with a lot of really bitchy interactions with management, like a lot,” You laughed, Jungkook let out a relieved chuckle. “All this to say that, I accept your apologies, and that I do want to be your friend in some capacity, and I do want to trust you… I don’t know if I can, with everything that’s happened, but I want to try.”

You looked at Seokjin, Yoongi and Namjoon, and watched the relief wash over their faces. They’d been starving, and you were offering mana from the heavens.

“Y/N, we are so sorry, we behaved horribly, we disrespected you and Jungkook. We belittled your relationship, and we lost out on almost two years of friendship with you,” Yoongi said.

“She’s the fucking best!” Taehyung interjected. “Sorry, but it’s true,”

“Did you hear the new Kim Petras track?” You asked, turning to look at Ho-Seok.

“I’m already obsessed,” Jimin added.

“I’m thinking we need to choreograph something because, obvi,” You said, excitement brimming.

“I’m sorry,” Yoongi said, pulling your attention back to him, “I was cruel, and I said things to wound you. They were nasty, unthinkable things… I am sorry.”

“I forgive you Yoongi,” You held his stare.

“You know, I’ve always wanted a little sister,” Seokjin said.

“Is that an apology?” You asked.

“I’m sorry,” Jin said bowing.

“I forgive you,” You placed a hand on his knee, a soft smile on your lips.

“I am eternally sorry, for all the pain we, I, caused,” Namjoon said. You could tell he was near tears.

“I forgive you too, Joon,” You said.

“All is forgiven,” Jungkook said, squeezing your thigh.

“On one condition,” You said.

“Oh no,” Taehyung said.

“After your show tomorrow, I know you don’t have plans the next day, we play drinking games and get absolutely obliterated,” You said laughing.

“Fuck yes!” Ho-Seok called.

“Alcohol brings people together,” Jimin added.

“And dancing!” Taehyung suggested.

“Alright, lets rage!” Namjoon said laughing.

You stood, relieved that after a year, you were finally able to feel like a full part of BTS. You hugged each of them, lingering with Yoongi.

“He’s going to marry you someday,” Yoongi whispered in your ear. You pulled away, staring at him. “But he wants us to be on good terms… He wants his family to be whole. We’ll be making it up to you for, ever.”

“You’re his chosen family,” You said, hugging Namjoon who had overheard what Yoongi said.

“If we’re his chosen family, you’re ours too,” Namjoon held you close. You pulled away, eyes narrow as you looked at him, the uncomfortableness of the situation lingering.

Relief swept the palpable awkwardness away as you spent the evening learning about the three men, and they you. You gave them the full tour, and they too giggled at the pieces of Jungkook strung throughout the house. They knew he wanted his forever to be intertwined with yours, and as you sat around a table at the restaurant you and Jungkook had met at, the six members of BTS were elated that you finally saw Jungkook’s brothers as your own.

Next: In Secret

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nctinfo · 5 years ago

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[TRANS] Doyoung, Jaehyun & Jungwoo’s interview with GQ Korea April 2020 issue!

Doyoung

You're wearing a hoodie with a bear on it and a denim jacket. It's the kind of style I normally like too. I enjoy wearing casual and everyday clothes that aren’t particularly in fashion.

What color stands out the most in your closet? sky blue, blue and cold tones are colors I have the most shirts in. Simple shirts that don't stick to your body.

What color shows your taste in music? Can you name a specific record? '추억은 사랑을 닮아 (Memories Resemble Love)', a song on Park Hyoshin's 5th album. It's a different kind of music from what NCT has shown. I think I'm able to do experimental music and music that stands out thanks to the members. I'm doing music I can't do by myself to my heart's content.

Even when you take a blind test you'd be able to guess it's Doyoung's voice because of the clear tone and aesthetics it has. I first started singing in middle school. Audition programs were very popular at the time, and it was the era where unique vocalists began to draw attention. Because I also wanted to make singing my job, I thought I had to find my own color without any bias.

Do you know your own strengths as a vocalist? My mom sometimes jokingly says "who gave birth to such a pretty voice?". I think the biggest advantage is that it has a tone that can blend well into the various genres like Hip-Hop, R&B, and EMD pop that NCT's music has.

When you were performing 'BOSS' a video clip of you raising the two octaves up to three octaves became a big topic. Are you the type that isn't afraid to sing high notes? To tell you the behind story, that range was a bit more comfortable. I prepared in advance to get myself comfortable and to be able to scream as much as I want. At that time, I wanted to be a strong team during live performances, so all the members spent a lot of time practicing like it was a real battle.

NCT 127's second full-length album is just three days away. During these times, what do the members talk about? "Now, now, let's start practicing the choreography for the 100 million views in a week music video", "Practice for the no.1 song on music shows choreography starts now." (laughs) We have a job where we have to prepare something for a long time and then show it all in a moment. If you think too much about the success that is possible, you have no choice but to be focused. These days, as time goes by, I try not to cling too much to that. It is more important to make an album that we can be satisfied with now.

The title song 'Kick It' has impressive dance moves that are inspired by oriental martial arts. We worked together with a martial arts director to shoot the music video. Each member had their own action scene, but everyone was spinning and flying as the camera started spinning. It was amazing. Everyone was so good to the point you would doubt we had just started learning it. I was a bit worried because I'm not the type to be confident in using my body. I was changing my clothes after we were done and while I was wondering how the shoot would end up, I saw that my hands were all cracked. I told myself I had worked hard.

You seem like a person who gives 200% in a moment of crisis. In the variety show <The Law of the Jungle> you jumped into the sea at night without a doubt. I'm the type to do something properly if you're gonna do something careless. I think I didn't want to make it an embarrassing moment. When I jumped into the sea, I was really afraid. Nevertheless, the reason I did it without fear was because I felt like I had to do something because I had come a long way.

Who is like a hero to Doyoung? You might think it's a boring answer, but it's the staff who help us and the fans. I released this recently. After we finished recording late a night I coincidentally had a look around the office. Even at that late hour, there were so many familiar faces. Many thoughts crossed my mind at that time.

Jaehyun

What do you think of the moment you wake up in the morning? 'It's already morning. I have to wash up.' An ordinary routine.

Do you like velvet? My attention was grasped by velvet training pants the moment I entered the studio earlier. I've been wearing velvet outfits on stage and I've been told that it matches me well. Since then, I started wearing it often with confidence.

You wear a lot of various clothes, like in today's photoshoot too, but what do you think shows your charms best? It feels good when I wear a suit. There was also this techwear look from the music video 'Let's Shut Up & Dance' when we worked with Jason Derulo. I like that too.

Have you thought about what you'd like to do if you could make a transformation? I have wanted to grow my hair long since last year. Growing it to the bottom of your ear and then tucking it behind, I thought it looked cool when I saw past pictures of Leonardo Dicaprio or of the hairstyles of Timothée Chalamet.

Do you have something like that? An aura you really want to have. There are people who look simple in ordinary life, but who look professional when they do their job. You can feel their skills. I want to be like that.

It feels just right looking at NCT's perfect stages. What's the highlight of the performance this time? Since debut, we’ve said NCT's style is 'NEO'. We try hard to reach that level every time. For the title song 'Kick It', the music, choreography, and outfits are very conceptual. There are also moves that are reminiscent of Bruce Lee's martial arts. I think our team's synergy definitely comes out when we have new and unique concepts.

This 2nd full album has 13 songs of various genres. Which song do you like most? The is an R&B ballad song titled 'White Night'. It started with the lyrics "it’s quietly getting darker". I was in charge of the first line, and I was focused on the details such as emotions, beat, and pitch. I recorded the "quietly" part several times. I have some attachments to it.

The soft bass tone seems to be Jaehyun's color of voice. I care a lot about tone and emotion, but interestingly, the tone of my voice has become lower than when I debuted. There's a part in me that wants to show myself more by signing than by dancing. From the start, I have received a lot of stress from singing, but as much as that, I also received a sense of fulfillment. I want to continue doing well.

What song would you recommend to someone who wants to hear Jaehyun's voice? 'Coming home', a song that was released last winter. It's a calm song centered on vocals that I sung with Taeil-hyung, Doyoung-hyung and Haechanie.

You said before you like your hands because they are pretty, right? Seeing them myself, I can agree. What do you want to achieve with those hands? I've been playing the piano for a long time, but I want to improve my skills. I feel at ease when I play the piano. And I'm the type to do anything well that requires my hands, the members sometimes call me 'golden hands'. I hope I can do well in anything.

Is there something you're the best at in the team? I'm confident in running. Since I was a kid, I loved sports so much that being an athlete was also a dream of mine. So when it comes to sports, I'm the.... Hahaha

I heard you watch movies when you want to relax. Is there anything you have been enjoying lately? I watched <Baby Driver> again yesterday. I've seen it three times, but the scenes and the music match perfectly, so I get excited every time I see it. I saw <Before Sunrise> several times too.

Do you also look up old stage videos or music videos? I sometimes do, but once I start watching the music videos starting from our debut song 'the 7th sense' to the latest, I will get hooked on it. When I just debuted I was still fresh but also a bit stiff. I also have memories of the Mickey Mouse 90th Anniversary Concert which was broadcasted by ABC in America. During the first tour of North America last year, I developed an aspiration for languages. When I was young, I lived in America for a while and learned some English, which has helped me and I saw how having [language] skills are a benefit.

This album starts with the song 'Elevator'. Where do you want to go up with NCT? As far as we can go.

Jungwoo

I've seen lots of pictures of Jungwoo wearing a fanny pack. Backpacks are big and uncomfortable so I only carry what I need in my fanny pack.

What does it usually carry? Contact lenses, eye drops, nail clipper, masks, bands, and ointments. Eye drops are an essential. My eyes become tired [/dry] when I wear lenses for a long time.

What is the style Jungwoo likes to wear? First of all, it should be comfortable. I usually wear training clothes and I'm often told that NormCore clothes look good on me, so I try to wear items that don't stand out too much. I think flashy things don't really suit me.

What? No matter how you look at it, you wore fancy and bold clothes today. It’s also curious to me. I like to challenge myself to wear different kinds of styles.

What is the image you try to have? I want to have a dreamy and bright atmosphere. I hope that when people see me they are fascinated and are curious about me.

What kind of person for you think is really cool? Justin Bieber. His style and music have his own unique color. Not only me, but all the members are fans too. I saw Justin Bieber's YouTube documentary yesterday. Besides the external stories, seeing him overcome the agony and growing pains of being an artist, made me like him even more.

What is something surprising about Jungwoo? That I'm purely a hard worker. I don't think I have many talents I was born with. I'm more like someone who will achieve results as much as I worked for it. So I put a lot of effort into anything I want to do.

Is anything possible if you just try hard? Looking at NCT's stages, I think there's more to it than just effort. I often look at others to find out how they do it. When we had a stage on the famous American talk show <Jimmy Kimel Live>, I was able to see and analyze the other stages that were on the program. The ways to walk with the camera and how it appears on the screen. So like that, I learn a lot.

Jungwoo has a very clean and impressive voice, but we heard you passed the audition by dancing. This is also kinda surprising [a twist]. When I was in elementary school, I watched the music shows and became interesting in dancing. But later, when I was recording, the music director told me I had a fascinating charm to my voice since he couldn't really tell if I was singing in falsetto or not. After hearing that, I decided to I should develop my voice into a good one and use it as an advantage to show myself.

What is your favorite track in this album? There is this song called 'Pandora's Box' and when I first heard the guide version, the lyrics 'remember this moment, us, our moment' really stood out to me. I imagined how it would be like if we would sing this with the fans at a concert, and I thought it would really turn out great.

When was the most miraculous moment in your life? When I joined NCT. It felt like a dream. I cried a lot when I came down after finishing my debut stage on the music show. I was happy but also felt regret. I remember the members encouraging me by saying "it's okay, you did well".

What do you think is your role in the team? No matter how, I seem to be the mood maker. I make a lot of jokes. If there would be 100 people, all 100 would be laughing. My humor level seems to match well with Doyoung-hyung especially.

The other members say Jungwoo hasn't shown his full potential yet, they say you have a lot of various sides. I think it can also mean that it's still unclear what I will do next. I often hear that I'm pretty unique. Could you say I'm 8D? (laughs) I too, don't know fully yet who I am.

Do you like that personality? There's only one my in this world. I want the person named Jungwoo to become a new genre. New, unique. In order to do that, I have to accept what I have and work hard to show the charms of it.

Translation: Esmee @ FY! NCT (NCTINFO) | Source: Grazia Scan — Do not repost or take out without our permission!

#NCT #NCT 127 #jungwoo #jaehyun #doyoung #t:interview #t:trans #GQ #GQ: April 2020

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chaoticneutralwriter · 5 years ago

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Catalyst

“There’s an old saying that says every demon was once an angel.

So tell me, is it possible for a demon to become one again?”

guardian demon! Jimin x reader

word count: 14.6k

genre: slow-burn, angst, fluff, romance, comedy, slice of life

Related works: see masterlist under Guardian Demon! Jimin

A/N: Shoutout to @milady-mira for this moodboard! Thank you all for the kind messages throughout the month as I worked on this T-T Unknowingly I had sucked myself into doing another chonky chapter but enough on that, let’s roll!

It’s been a good three days since Jimin sprang those tickets on you and you’re still riding on cloud nine. You wake up every day still thinking it was all a dream which makes you check your phone almost religiously, pulling up the app to see that yes, the two GA tickets to BTS’ Love Yourself Tour were sitting in your inbox. It’s gotten you feeling so good that you didn’t mind going to work at all for once. Today is no different, you started your day by spending a good ten minutes in bed after waking up just staring at your phone, smiling so widely that your cheeks ache. After drinking in the sight of the tickets for the nth time, you sigh contently, placing your phone on your chest to stare aimlessly at the ceiling in reflection.

“You’re not coming?” You can’t help pouting, head leaning heavily against Jimin’s chest as he carries you bridal style back to yours and Jaehee’s house. After much crying, you’ve protested against apparating back home in fear that you might actually throw up. It was a tough argument to make but when you threaten Jimin that if he risks it and you end up puking your guts out even when you had warned him, he’ll be responsible for cleaning it. So that got you both to come to a consensus of apparating as far as to get off the building and walking the rest of the way.

“Of course not cherub, would it make sense for someone who looks like the mirror image of your idol to be at their show? It’ll cause a riot.”

“Oh right… Good point.” You mumble, all tuckered out and practically half asleep at this point. “Sorry.”

“Stop apologizing already.” Jimin reprimands, adjusting his hold on you as he continues to walk. The rest of the way was filled with silence, with you more or less trying to fight off falling asleep right in Jimin’s arms. It’s proven difficult though, in your post-drunk state you’re more susceptible to the soft sounds of his heartbeat lulling you to a drowse. On top of that, the gentle rocking you feel from his strides does nothing to help, only making you feel more and more like a baby being put to sleep. So it’s no wonder that you lose track of all sense of time because the next thing you know, you’re entering your home and then you’re in your bedroom, being placed down into the comforts of your bed.

It takes everything in you to peel your eyes back open for just a second and the sight that greets you makes a lazy smile tug at your lips.

“What’s with that smile?” Jimin asks. You hear the beginnings of a chuckle slip through his words so you know he doesn’t mean anything snarky by asking. You blink but it feels like you’re keeping your eyes closed for way longer than necessary each time you do to consider it blinking.

“Thank you…”

“You’ve said that about eleven times tonight too.”

“Yeah…but I’m really thankful…for you doing this…” You say, words slurring into a mumble as you begin to finally give into sleep. The chuckle finally comes out softly as he takes a seat on the space by your head.

“Again, don’t mention it darling.”

You feel fingers comb through your hair and you instantly melt at the touch, eyes slipping close and unconsciously leaning further into it, a content hum escaping past your lips. His ministration nearly makes you miss his next few words.

“You should call your friends, do something for your birthday this weekend. You can figure out who you can take to the concert then.”

You probably should’ve told Jimin that stroking your hair was a sure way to make you knock out in less than five seconds (drunk or not) because the last thing you remembered before falling into a dreamless slumber was mustering up another hum in response and the feeling of soft, dexterous fingers against your scalp.

You had woken up embarrassed as heck and with a pounding headache but overall, overwhelmed with giddiness and gratitude for the demon that you had wanted to repay him somehow.

And see, there’s your problem right off the bat; how do you repay a demon besides forfeiting your soul to them? You suppose you could….Jimin doesn’t technically own your soul — you and him were just connected via your soul contract. You snort to yourself, the idea making you realize you’d make the statement of ‘selling your soul to the devil for some BTS tickets’ come true (he’s not the devil per se, but semantics). Still, you’re not sure if you want to jump that gun just yet since it’s a pretty big fucking life changing decision to say the least. But then your mind wanders; if Jimin were to ask however, would you agree?

A small part of you whispers yes.

But then that other half of you is telling you; you’re fucking nuts (you could only guess it’s the human instincts of self-preservation).

You let out a loud sigh, conflicted. Seeing no use in just laying around thinking about it until your hair turns grey though, you decide to get up finally, even if you did have the day off to lounge around. As you go through your routine, you continue to brainstorm on what you can possibly do for Jimin but, to no surprise, you come up with very few, meagre half-ideas that don’t seem right. As you’re finishing and heading to the kitchen to fix yourself a light breakfast, you realized something —

You haven’t really seen JImin at all for the past three days.

Your hand pauses on scraping the cream cheese on your bagel, head tilting to yourself. Now that you think about it, this is probably the second longest time he’s been gone. You never had the need to question it (probably some demon-related business) but that just means it’ll be even harder to do something nice for him. Maybe you should shoot him a text…? You grab your phone and pull up your message thread with him, tapping the text box until you’re confronted with the blinking text cursor. How should you go about this….?

“Hey…. What are you up to?”

You backspace on that; it doesn’t sound or look right to you. You try for a different approach.

“Yoooo….. Where’d ya go? Lol”

Wow, you’ve never backspaced fast enough. You let out a long sigh, slumping shoulders and tilting your head this way and that out of frustration. Why are you thinking so hard on this for? It’s just a check-up text, like asking your….friend if they wanna hang out after a long time. Ugh! Whatever! You puff up like a cat, bracing yourself unnecessarily as you type rapidly the first thing that comes to mind.

“Hey, haven’t heard from you for three days so just wondering where’d you go?”

Then you hit send before you can second guess yourself, tossing your phone onto the counter as if it has the plague. You turn away, not wanting to get sucked into that black hole of waiting around for a text back. So you settle on munching away on your bagel and finishing your cup of tea. You shuffle around the kitchen, cleaning and putting away dishes, all the while trying your darnest to avoid peeping over your shoulder to stare longingly at your phone like some lovestruck teenager waiting for her crush to text back. But after putting away the dishes and cleaning the countertop, you still have yet to receive a reply back from the demon in question.

Another sigh escapes you before you can stop it. You gotta find something else to do so that it’ll take your mind off of it — maybe watch some Netflix? You grab your phone, moving over to the couch to turn on the TV. Scrolling through the Netflix account, you blindly pick a long-running sitcom you had decided to binge one day and then stopped because you completely forgot about it. As it plays, you find yourself only half paying attention to the episode as periodically, you swipe your phone to scroll through your Twitter (and a small part of you begrudgingly admits hoping you’d see Jimin’s reply). As expected, your timeline is filled with BTS related things, whether it be about the first North American concert happening in three days or just compilation videos of members doing XYZ.

You stop on a particular one of Jimin and as the clip plays, a smile immediately stretches across your lips. Watching Jimin acting silly and laughing with his whole body is not something you haven’t seen before, but it never fails to make you laugh every time. You would bet that no one could resist either, even if they might not know who Jimin is because who can help it when he has a smile that turns his cheeks round and soft like mochi while making his eyes crease to the point where he can’t see anymore. Besides that, he always had an aura about him that glows with such warmth that anyone could clearly see how kind, sincere, and hardworking he is. And when he’s on stage — the thought alone makes you shake your head in disbelief because it’s like he becomes a different person. He’s no longer just a talented boy next door, he’s someone who was born to perform with an overflowing amount of charisma and stage presence.

A true contradiction if you’ve ever seen one, Park Jimin has somehow managed to embody both youthful, innocent smiles and sultry, seductive gazes. You chuff a laugh to yourself — the more you think about it, you suppose it’s a rather good fit that your guardian demon looks like Jimin, and not just because he’s someone you associate affection with. You pause in thought, realizing something. From the start, you always had a clear distinction between your guardian demon and BTS’ Jimin because in spite of being mirrors of each other, they’re completely different, like the difference between the evil and good twin. But as time went on, you discover that they…. are actually quite similar, more than you had initially thought.

It’s….strange.

You absentmindedly scroll through your timeline again, so caught up in your thoughts that you don’t notice you’ve landed on an audio edit —

Of Jimin body rolling and doing all other manners of EXTREMELY RUDE THINGS TO VERY SULTRY MUSIC.

Your phone nearly goes flying out of your hand at how fast you chuck it away, cheeks warm and eyes wide. On second thought, you think it’s better that they’re a little bit more different from each other; having one Jimin who knows how to control his body like that is already one too many.

You shake your head as if to physically rid you of the thoughts because if it stays there any longer, you feel like you won’t be able to look your guardian in the eye for a very, very long time.

So you resolve to finally pay attention to the episode playing out in front of you until Jaehee arrives home. Your evening passes by in a flash and yet still, Jimin hasn’t texted you back. Dejectedly, your eyes cast away from the phone beside you for the umpteenth time that day, hand mindlessly going back to shovelling your fried rice around with your spoon.

“Hey, what’s up? You seem really distracted….” Jaehee comments across from you, concern furrowing her eyebrows.

“Ah… no it’s nothing…” You try to brush off, shooting a small smile but Jaehee doesn’t buy it, even her glasses (a rare sight for even you) doesn’t hide the way her deep brown eyes look at you with such dubiousness that it makes you doubt yourself.

“You keep staring at your phone like a kicked puppy. Is it about the BTS concert? It’s happening pretty soon right?”

You can’t keep the wry smile off your face at the mention of the concert. It gives you away on your sudden changed circumstances regarding it and Jaehee easily picks up on that along with your hesitancy to agree with her assumptions of what’s bothering you.

“Well….About that…” You start off, not knowing how to break this as lightly as possible. “I…actually have plans on going to their next stop…?”

The reaction is immediate, Jaehee’s hand stills and her eyes shoot wide open as she blurts out in rapid succession, “What?! Really?! So you got tickets?! I thought you said you weren’t?!”

It makes your lips quirk up more, her enthusiasm overwhelming you to where you had to abandon your dinner altogether to tackle all of her questions. “Yeah, I thought I wasn’t too. But then…Well…” You take the time to unlock your phone to pull up the solid proof to your claims, sliding it closer for Jaehee to see. She picks it up and gasps, a loud, drawn out noise with a dramatic flair at the end, eyes practically bulging from you to the phone screen and back.

“Oh my God, shut up!” Her rising excitement is contagious and so you can’t help but to return it with a wide grin. “You’re really doing it! Is it for the upcoming concert this week? Or the one after that?”

“The one after that.”

“You’re going with one of your friends then yeah?”

“Uh…Yeah…” Your hand comes up to rub your neck, already feeling your cheeks heating up. “I’m going with a friend of mine. Ji— Julien! Julien — he’s actually the one who got me the tickets.”

Even with the partial name slip, Jaehee drives forward, this new development clearly taking hold of her if her gaping mouth and wide sparkling eyes is anything to go by. “Oh my GOD! Are you for real!? Julien got you these tickets?”

When you nod, abashed, she only squeals delightedly before gushing, “Y/N! I think you found yourself a keeper!”

“Huh?” The sound escapes you before you can help yourself along with the rising heat of your cheeks. Jaehee passes the phone back to you, a knowing smile taking form on her lips.

“Julien seems like he’s really into you and totally gets you. I mean, to me, this is like the ultimate profession of love in your language — getting you tickets to see your favourite band.”

You feel your blush intensify at such a profound statement, wondering whether or not you should even mention that he’s paying for all the travel expenses as well and that on top of the tickets, that’s what you’re troubled over. So you settle on going with a half-truth; you think Jaehee might end up coercing you to marry Jimin right at this moment if you told her everything.

“Well, yeah I think it’s great and all but I feel really bad. I wanna do something nice in return for him.” You sigh, “I just don’t know what.”

“Ah…So that’s what’s bothering you.” Jaehee nods, leaning back in her chair with a pensive look, arms crossed. “You could maybe….treat him to dinner?”

Do demons even eat anything? You think to yourself. You don’t think you’ve ever seen Jimin consume anything for sustenance other than alcohol but even then, you think it’s just for the heck of it instead of a need. You shake your head — if it were anyone else, the suggestion would’ve been perfect.

“I don’t know what he likes…? He has…” You fumble for the right words to cover up your….special circumstances. “Dietary restrictions.”

“Ah…”

With that, both you and Jaehee fall back into a contemplative silence. Every once in a while, Jaehee would pipe up with another suggestion but they all end with a shake of your head.

“Ah well, I’m sure something will come up. Like maybe after your trip….?” Jaehee wriggles her eyebrows suggestively and you nearly choke on your last spoonful of fried rice. She barks a laugh at that, assuring you that it was just a joke (“…unless?”, she had tagged on which earned her an indignant smack from you and a cackle from her). You clean up and pack away leftovers before you eventually bid each other goodnight, heading off to wash up and settle for the night.

You were halfway through an episode of a drama that caught your interest when your phone lights up, the chiming notification muffled against your bedsheets. Your eyes instantly whip to it and when you catch sight of the name, you pause everything you’re doing, swiping to pull up the text thread.

“Miss me already? You’re so sweet cherub

(You roll your eyes)

But since you asked, I’ve just been doing errands here and there, mainly for your trip. Nothing to worry about.”

You huff quietly, though an endeared smile creeps on your lips at the thought all the same. However, the guilt indefinitely creeps back to you as you find yourself worrying your bottom lip at the mention of his generous act. You really want to do something nice for him, show him just how grateful you are that he’s going out of his way to do this for you (you honestly think this might even be out of his contract agreement as a temp guardian). At this point, you think you’ll have to settle for something like a bottle of alcohol — it’s the only sure thing you know that he’ll enjoy. Or maybe…

You shake your head; you need to give more thought on that.

“I’m just making sure you didn’t accidentally discorporate or something okay?

Who else is gonna pay for my flight and hotel XP

But I’ll make it up to you when I get to the duty free at the airport. I know you like alcohol but I’m still a broke college student so just accept my token of gratitude that way.”

You type, sending it off before you can overthink it. God you hate this — since when did texting Jimin become such a nail biting thing? You blow out a stream of air, flopping back onto your pillows in frustration.

Get it together, you tell yourself, patting your cheek only to come away scowling from how to warm it feels. A chime saves you from wallowing in your self-consciousness any further, bringing up your phone to check his response.

“Don’t worry about it, just go and have fun.”

Your heart involuntarily flips and you have to take a moment, putting your phone down for a bit — he’s not making this any easier. You roll around in your bed for a couple more minutes, reading and re-reading his message as the metaphorical butterflies in your stomach run wild. Once you’ve managed to reel in the rampant onslaught of feelings, shaking out your trembling fingers, it makes you realize something else; something rather important. The corners of your mouth tug downwards and after hesitating, you decide to shoot your shot.

“So… Are you not coming at all?”

When he doesn’t reply back immediately, regret instantly makes you backtrack, hastily typing an explanation but his response bubble pops up, stopping you.

“Never would’ve pinned you as a clingy type but I don’t mind ;)”

You have to smother your face in your pillow to muffle the loud groan you let out. When you get it out of your system, you race to finish what you were typing and hit send.

“I’m asking because we’re technically bound to each other by a blood contract and you never disclosed the finer details of it i.e. if large distance effects it or not.

So I need to know if it’ll be a problem because if so then you have to come too even if it means not being near the arena.”

“Haha, relax cherub. I get what you mean.

And you’re not wrong, distance does effect the bond of the contract. The farther away we are from each other, the less of a read on you I get. If anything were to happen to you, I won’t be able to help.”

You figured that much. It wouldn’t make sense in having a contract at all if important factors such as distance between the two parties didn’t have any effect. That just means either one of you could run away from the other and that would leave you both vulnerable; you in harms way and him risking the chance of losing a bail for his mischief with heaven. Besides that, a small part of you admits that you’d feel a little more comfortable traveling if you knew Jimin was going to be with you since this would be your first time flying with just another friend, even if it’s not that far out — it’s still a new place neither you nor your friend are familiar with.

As if reading your mind, another text pops up from him.

“I’ll be close by, I promise.”

A smile breaks out onto your lips, the butterflies erupting again and though they’re restless inside you from his words, you’re put at ease.

“I trust you…”

“…It’s late, you should go to sleep.”

“Okay… Goodnight.”

“Sweet dreams cherub.”

Dark chocolate eyes remain fixated on the screen for a moment longer, a number of emotions swirling within his chest threatening to become a hurricane, all from three simple words.

I trust you.

He thinks you a fool — there’s never, in the history of mankind’s existence, been a human who had openly said that they trusted a demon.

It never leads to good things.

But he thinks himself a fool too because those words mean more to him than he could ever imagined. Shit, he’s in deep, the acceptance of it pulls out a dry laugh from Jimin. He drops the phone away from his face, arm flopping to one side as his view shifts to that of the starless night sky above him. He’s had a lot to think on these past days ever since your birthday and though it wasn’t exactly a lie when he told you he was running errands, most of that time was spent trying to sort out his feelings.

The fact of reality is Jimin doesn’t have a lot of time left as your temporary guardian. By the looks of it, he’s pretty much done a good portion of what heaven had demanded of him and once he gets the official decree, the contract between you and him will be broken and he would have no business to linger around you less it was to tempt you into forfeiting your soul to hell — something he’d rather not do.

Yet in spite of it all, the thought of leaving you is something he couldn’t imagine doing, would not accept at this point. But as long as he is around, Jimin will only become a burden on your life, a toxic weight chaining you down in a pit of misery for he is a demon; a creature that causes misfortune on others and thrives off of it and as such, you’ll never be blessed with the good karma you receive from doing good deeds because he is not capable of bringing it. Any and all good things that happen to you will be short-lived in exchange for a hefty price because that is the demon code — nothing is without a cost, a sacrifice. And thus, he cannot remain with you as a temporary guardian nor demon.

Unless….

In his other hand, he grasps at the bottle of whiskey and drags it over this lips, the liquor leaving a burning trail down his throat in the big gulps he takes. It distracts him from his troubled thoughts but as per usual, the effects is much too short to offer any real relief. He doesn’t have long to sulk about it though because he senses another presence coming towards him.

“I have to say, this is uncharacteristic of you to have willingly called for me brother.” Jungkook steps close enough so that he towers over Jimin, forcing him to stare up at that annoyingly handsome, twenty-something year old idol’s face that he’s so fond of, doe-eyes gleaming mischievously with dark wavy locks framing either side of his face. “I’m a little suspicious.”

Jimin snorts, a hand wrenching free from one of his belongings to reach up and pinch the younger’s ankle. Jungkook skips out of the way with a throaty giggle before rounding back to the elder’s side. He makes himself comfortable, sitting down next to Jimin in his oversized t-shirt and baggy sweatpants that makes Jimin think what a waste of a body to be dressed like that. They sit in silence for a while, letting the city night life below become their white noise as Jimin watches the inky abyss above him with unseeing eyes while Jungkook carefully observes him.

He’s not unfamiliar with Jimin’s brooding and aloof nature, has seen it enough times over their years of being friends to the point where he’s able to read him quite easily. But now, as he gazes upon this perfect mask, there is no signs of indifference marring the almost angelic features, not even a hint of annoyance. Instead, the emotion he sees is melancholy — something that he’s never seen before but it is there, clear as day. The sight of it stirs an uneasy feeling in the pit of Jungkook’s stomach but he refrains from asking directly, choosing to hold onto the belief that perhaps it’s not anything serious. For now, he’ll do what he does best; prod for information.

“You seem awfully moodier than usual…. Has poppet’s gloominess finally affected you too?”

He sees two eyes slide over to focus on him, their colour a subdued ruby that belies the warning beneath them. But they seep away just as quickly as Jimin doesn’t move to enact said threat, not even verbally and his eyes drift back to staring listlessly above him. It has Jungkook quirking his eyebrows and before he can let his curiousity overtake him, Jimin’s voice cuts through the still night air.

“If you must know, she’s no longer not going to the concert.” He states plainly, “I’ve made sure of that.”

It takes a while for the words to register in Jungkook’s head but when he does process them, he’s gobsmacked.

“You didn’t…!”

When he’s met with no response, it only further confirms that indeed Jimin had gifted you tickets to your most sought after concert. Jungkook’s mouth falls open but he could produce no coherent words from the shock. It’s only after a minute of shuffling around, not knowing what to do with himself that the younger demon finally throws his head back with a loud bark of laughter.

“I cannot believe this!” He chokes out between cackles, “You actually bought tickets for her even after you claiming you’re not a ‘miracle worker’! Brother, you hypocrite!” Jungkook’s gives a hardy smack onto Jimin’s shoulder and ignores the glare sent his way from it. Once he calms down, wiping at the corners of his eyes, Jungkook continues teasing.

“So did she promise her soul to you in five years time or something? Surely you would’ve taken advantage of such a golden opportunity.”

Again, he’s met with silence from his companion only this time when it drags on, the air shifts and the unnerving feeling grows within Jungkook, the playful smile slipping from his lips. His thoughts begin to race with a multitude of questions, all coming to a conclusion he doesn’t think he’s ready to face yet. He opens his mouth in an attempt to carry on the light nature of the conversation but unfortunately for him, Jimin begs to differ, as if finally growing tired of humouring Jungkook.

“Enough with the small talk; like you said, there’s a reason why I’ve called you here.” Jimin says, his tone low with a seriousness that makes Jungkook think he’s about to deliver some grave news. “I have something to ask of you.”

From the way he says it, Jungkook feels like it’ll be a loaded question and it puts an immediate stop to any possible attempts of deflecting. Despite the darkness surrounding them, Jungkook could clearly see the swirling emotions that reflect in Jimin’s eyes, even if his face, for the most part, shows no signs of that turmoil. He wouldn’t have known just how conflicted his companion really was otherwise and it makes a small part of him not wish to know what the elder wanted to ask. But curiosity, the double-edged sword, has him gripped in its tight hold so he swallows, bracing himself with a shield of feigned disinterest.

“What is it, oh dear brother of mine?”

Jimin lets out a heavy breath, as if he too was bracing himself for something but he’s had time to mull it over thoroughly, his decision made and it’s now or never. So he pulls himself together, schooling his expression and he utters the words he knows will surely become a catalyst in disrupting the very order of heaven and hell itself.

“…Is it possible for a demon to become an angel again?”

His quiet words seem to ring even louder in the night that it’s impossible to be misheard by anyone. But that’s exactly what Jungkook wants to do, tries so desperately to convince himself to do, to the point where people will call him delusional. The question is so ridiculous that the younger demon is stupefied for what seems like an eternity before a loud laugh of disbelief escapes him in one choked exhale, the sound forced and unnatural.

“W-What? That’s— Don’t be ridiculous brother! You and I both know that —“

“Ezazel.”

All laughter ceases immediately at the name he had not heard in so long. It leaves him short of breath, shuddering as he inhales sharply like he’s been doused by cold water. Jaw clenching, Jungkook swallows as his eyes focus onto Jimin, the irises beginning to simmer a deep golden topaz behind the dark chocolate hues as he fights the tremors that threaten to overtake his body. Jungkook shoots up from his seat.

“You…” He strains, raising a threatening finger to Jimin, voice tight with effort to keep it steady. “I don’t know what games you’re playing at but—“

“No games I’m afraid,” Jimin says with a quiet, breathy laugh, an eerie calmness about him that has the younger demon slowly becoming more enraged. “Demons were once angels before they fell from grace, it doesn’t happen often but the fact of it is true. So surely, if that is the case, the opposite can be done as well.” Gaze flitting to Jungkook, Jimin adds, “Am I wrong?”

“I—“ The younger struggles to formulate words, teeth gritting and eyes glaring down at him, “What does it even matter? It’s impossible either way!”

“So there is a way?”

Jungkook freezes, mind stuttering at how he had accidentally got the tables on him turned by Jimin, but he supposes it’s only natural; behind that angelic face lies a cunning demon after all and unfortunately for him, one that always seems have a way with his words. Still, that won’t stop Jungkook from clamming up about what he knows or doesn’t on this matter.

“Like I said, it doesn’t matter whether I do or not hypothetically because I won’t tell you regardless!” Jungkook is huffing as he gets all of that out in one seething breath, his young face contorting into what Jimin worries will become a permanent stony scowl. It makes the corner of his lips twitch at how cute he looks but he suppresses it, not wanting to perhaps anger Jungkook more — he needs answers and he knows Jungkook is his best, if not, only chance at getting them. So Jimin remains steadfast, determined to getting Jungkook to spill.

“I don’t have much time left here…”

“Exactly, so why do you even want to know something like this? What’s the point?”

The question triggers an unintentional chortle from Jimin, gaze returning back to the desolate night sky briefly, the barest of smiles pulling at plush lips from the irony of it all and Jungkook could only stare, perplexed.

“I…” Jimin starts, trying to search for the right words. “Let’s just say I’ve made up my mind on something…for someone …”

The younger demon’s mouth falls open, moving the slightest to mouth the last phrase Jimin had said to himself as his eyebrows furrow in pensive confusion. His head cocks to one side, not understanding before all at once, it clicks together. Eyes shooting wide open, Jungkook whips his gaze to Jimin once again, a mess of emotion reflecting in them — shock mixed with disbelief mixed with outrage and disappointment that eventually all melt into a burnt, golden ember that seems to consume his whole sclera.

“You can’t be fucking serious….”

“Ez—“

Jimin’s attempt at quelling the younger’s temper fails as he’s quickly cut off by Jungkook as he starts to pace around in his spot, the anger rolling off of his broad shoulders in waves. “Look, it’s all in good fun when I said you’ve gone soft for her. Hell I think she’s just okay too but to risk your life for her?! Do you even hear how crazy that sounds?!” He scoffs, lips twisting into a sneer. “You know for all the decades of experience you claim to have, you sure aren’t really smart after all huh?”

The condescending comment makes Jimin narrow his gaze as he stands to step up to the younger, shoulders squared and eyes flaring to life to match the intensity of Jungkook’s.

“You don’t know what it’s like to live all those years, drifting from one decade to another until they all blur together, being stuck dealing with the same rotten piece of shit humans that can’t get sent to hell fast enough and when you think you’ve seen them all, they just keep on crawling out of the woodwork like fucking cockroaches.” A sort of pitying look softens his features for a split second as he says, “You’re still too young to understand.”

Whereas Jungkook’s voice had risen in volume with his growing rage, Jimin’s remains in a low, even tone; a cold, quiet anger simmering under his calm facade like a coiled snake ready to strike at any moment. Jungkook’s jaw ticks in defiance, not backing down but growing more agitated because he realizes…. He doesn’t recognize the person in front of him anymore. The revelation saddens him but most of all, it scares him.

“The only thing I don’t understand is how you think she’s any different; in the end, humans are all fickle creatures and you’re only fooling yourself to think otherwise.” The younger demon grits, glaring daggers down at the other demon. With one final shake of his head, he sets his hardened gaze on his dear friend and mentor, already turning away. He needs to leave, needs to get away from having to divulge his secrets or sort his feelings out, maybe both. Either way, it’s for Jimin’s own good. “I won’t let you do something as stupid as throwing away your life for one seemingly decent human girl.”

“You—!” Jimin begins, making a grab to spin Jungkook back around by the shoulder but all he grasps are wisps of black smoke as the younger apparates away.

Slipped right through his fingers, quite literally. Jimin ruefully scoffs, fist clenching as he exhales deeply, trying to rid of the tension that had stiffened his body. It’s no use though, and he’s again left alone to stew on his own except this time in a much fouler mood. His eyes fall to his forgotten bottle of whiskey, not much of the dark liquor left inside. Regardless, he picks it up and drains it in one go, a sad attempt at drinking away his problems.

When he swallows the last bit of the bitter alcohol with not even a hint of that numbing relief, he smashes the bottle against the ground, the crashing of glass breaking against asphalt intermingled with the sharp shout of frustration Jimin lets out. His shoulders heave in a struggle to regain his composure, one hand covering his eyes as if he’s willing away an incessant headache and after a few more deep, slow breaths, he somewhat relaxes; the searing hot anger running through his veins ebbing away into a tempered flame. Tilting his head back, his hand moves to run through his locks, tugging slightly at the roots as he looks out at the darkness above him — still no stars in sight no matter how long he stared.

Funny how a few nights before, he was staring up at the exact same starless sky and felt more at peace with himself than he’d ever been but now it all seems like a premonition, a bad omen of what’s to come. His lips pull back into a spiteful sneer; how apropos. Not like that would stop him, starless skies be damned, because ultimately they’re all the same to him anyways. It’s ruefully does he admit that they’ve only started to become something beautiful to look at when he had met you.

It’s with mild amusement and disbelief that you take up Jimin’s advice on ‘hosting’ a belated birthday get together with your friends. At first you were doubtful, with what few of the close friends you do have, the chances of them being able to come out were far more slimmer than average. But after working up some courage, you go for it anyways, shooting off a tentative text message in the group chat to see if anyone is up to hanging around, get some bubble tea and maybe lunch…? You’re open to ideas.

You weren’t expecting much but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel pleasantly surprised and happy that they were free and were excited to get together after such a long time. So with plans made and set, there’s only one thing left for you to worry about; just how are you gonna bring up the fact that you got two tickets to the concert and that you could only bring one of them? The thought instantly makes you anxious — it’s like you’re forced to pick favourites and you by no means favour a friend over another. But you have no choice, you only have the one ticket to give away.

You’ve managed to worry yourself up until the very day as you get up early the next morning. Should you maybe not bring it up as a group in person? Or would that make things look worse if you approach one person through text? But even then, you can’t guarantee the person you pick would be able to go either, then that just means you have to guess who’s most likely abled. Agh! You’re losing your mind over this and if you let it go any further, it would ruin your mood. So you decide to put it aside for now and see where the day takes you during this little outing. If the mood seems right then you’ll bring it up, if not….

Okay, no more thinking on this, just go with the flow. With one last shake of your head, you concentrate on getting to the designated meeting spot, determined to have a good time in the company of your friends. Luckily it’s easy because as soon as you’re all gathered together, it’s like no time has passed between anyone. You all fall into conversations comfortably, caught up and joked around with one another but of course eventually, the topic ends up on the subject of all your worries.

“Ugh! I’m so sad I can’t go to this concert!” One of your friend, Jess, whines, turning away from her phone screen as she no doubt must’ve caught sight of some fancams that happened for their first stop. “Why’d they have to skip over our city this year? I thought it was such a good turn out!”

Your other friend lets out a heavy sigh, slumping slightly at the mention of such tragedy. “I don’t know man, it sucks though! I was so ready to go! But the money for the travel on top of the ticket is too much for me.”

“Right? After saying they would come back next year too….All men do is lie.”

Your circle of friends laughs and you do too in spite of growing more and more fidgety in your seat, nervously sipping on your drink. You think this is the perfect time to break your silence on the deep secret you’re holding if you weren’t absolutely breaking out into a cold sweat simultaneously. You know you have to act fast though, before you lose the timing so in an effort to keep on it but not give yourself away, you throw in what sounds like to you some painfully awkward two cent.

“What if there was, like…a contest and the prize was a round trip to see the BTS concert….” Your hypothetical instantly catches the attention of your friends and you nearly shrink back out of intimidation, but you swallow the feeling, trying to keep casual about it and hope that your face isn’t as red as it feels. “But there’s only two tickets, ‘cus that’s how it usually is, so you can only take one of your friends, so like, how would you even decide that?”

Each of your friends hum in consideration, falling into a pensive silence before one of them speaks up, “Oh my God, I wouldn’t even know.”

“Right? Last minute trips would definitely not work for me like, as much as I hate to say it, I need money and can’t afford to quit even though I hate my job.” Soohee sighs.

“Pfft, I’d probably quit like….YOLO this is BTS; for my boys.”

“Or call in sick? Like,” Rosa says before she makes her voice sound more nasally and scratchy to portray a sickly tone, coughing in between sentences, ”’Oh sorry, I don’t think I can come in for at least three days, I’ve caught a really serious cold okay bye.’”

That earns a peal of laughter from everyone but your heart is pounding through it as you grin along. “But like, no hard feelings if that ever happens right?” You can’t help putting out there, masking your anxiety for playfulness.

“Yeah no, I mean we’re all friends here right?”

“Well….I might feel just a little bit salty if I didn’t get a ticket.” Mei jokes, scrunching her face but everyone all knows from her exaggeration that she means no real harm if it comes down to it. If anything, it successfully pulls another round of light-hearted chuckles from the group. Overall though, everyone collectively nods in agreement or verbally voices it and it’s enough to put you at ease considerably. The feeling of gratefulness warms you over at the genuineness you’re witnessing, making you think that you were worried over nothing. So when everyone settles down, you take a deep breath and muster up all the courage you have to say the next few but very decisive words.

“Okay because like…..I may or may not need to confess something… And you’re all probably gonna hate me for it.” You begin wryly with a crooked smile. Your friends perk up like meerkats towards your direction, always ready for some good tee. Rosa has one eyebrow quirked, eyes widen comically to pin you with a cartoonishly accusatory stare.

“What? Did you secretly score tickets without telling us?”

You nearly choke on your own spit, inhaling too sharply and you have to fan yourself for a second before you squeak out, “I mean… I-I have a good friend…who’s friends with someone who was part of a…group trip for the next stop of BTS’ tour in North America that dropped out so now he needs two people to take their spots so they asked me if I wanted to go and if I knew anyone else who wanted to go so…yeah! I have tickets to their next stop so do any of you guys wanna come with me?!”

It was a mess; you tripped and stuttered your entire way through, words spilling out faster by the time you finish your tall tale for this miracle. Your face feels like it’s on fire again as you mentally bash your head against a wall because anyone can smell this bullshit from a mile away and you don’t think you even explained that flights and hotel were covered for this trip right? Oh my God how are you going to explain that?!

As you mentally berate yourself, you don’t notice how all of your friends are stunned into a shocked silence, each with their mouths agape in various sizes until Jess sputters, hands flailing about in front of her before she’s gripping the table, leaning over from her seat on the opposite end of where you were.

“Hold on! Wait a minute! Pause! You’re saying you got connections to their next stop?!”

Her outburst causes a chain reaction, snapping all of your remaining friends out of their stupor to shoot rapid fire questions at you.

“Like are we talking free free? Or like they’re trying to sell tickets for cheap cheap?”

“You said group trip right? Like does that mean the spots dropped are free to take but like we gotta give a deposit or something?”

“Are you sure this isn’t some sort of scam? How good friends are you with this person?”

In turn, your mind goes racing to come up with more plausible answers to the loopholes they’re pointing out. You swear if you were starring in the movie ‘Inside Out’, the inside of your mind would be a scene of chaos — alarms blaring and all of your personified emotions running in a panicked frenzy yelling at the top of their lungs. Frantically before you abort mission altogether, you grabbed onto the one thing you can answer with full confidence.

“The person who told me about this and is offering is someone I’ve known for a while — I trust them so I know this isn’t a scam for sure.” You reassure, holding up your hands in a placating manner. “They said the group does these….trips really often and like, everyone has a lot of air miles or something so….a lot of the times some people fly for cheap or even free; something like that? And the deposit was already made by the two who were supposed to go and it’s non-refundable so they said they’d rather find someone just so it doesn’t go to waste. I don’t know, they explained it to me but it’s sort of complicated.”

“Wow, this sounds like a bunch of rich people….” Mei comments, blinking in astonishment. “Must be nice…”

“Then what about a place to stay? Is it like…a hotel or an AirBnB? Is it even covered or is that something that needs to be split and paid?”

“….I think that’s the only thing left to be paid…?” You lie (along with this entire story but you have to add some sort of element of plausibility! It’s more suspicious to have everything come at no charge than for at least one thing to be paid for). “So yeah! Umm…anyone down?” You finish quickly with a slightly nervous laugh, eyes shaking.

You wait with bated breath as you watch your friends consider your proposition albeit still dubiously. You don’t blame them; you would be too but you can’t outright tell them the whole truth because that sounds like an even bigger lie than what you had already just told. Besides, you’re always known for being a truthful and trustworthy person (minus this big ol’ outright lie here but it’s with good reasons), not to mention not that gullible when it comes to these things — you consider yourself to be a pretty big skeptic! So surely….

“Okay but like…just one last question….” Rosa pipes up, sounding awfully serious that it has you a little on edge. Your shoulders unconsciously hunch up as you peer at her, waiting for her to call you out entirely but then, “Is your friend’s friend in the market for a sugar baby? Or like know anyone in their circle who is? ‘Cus…. I can give them my business card.”

That seems to dispel whatever remaining suspicions left as everyone bursts out laughing in solidarity, yourself included. The rest of the conversation regarding the trip transitions smoothly to everyone re-evaluating their schedules to see if they’re able to accompany you (within reason, much to the chagrin of all parties). It ends with people who were most likely to be available to settle a few final things before messaging you to say whether it’s a go or not, no fuss or muss (“because we’re all adults here”, Soohee iterates proudly). Overall, you’re very satisfied with the outcome having went way better than expected, the heavy weight lifting off your shoulders and the rest of the day resumes with more laughs, dinner, and even surprise belated birthday gifts (that got you choked up).

By the time you’re heading home, you’re feeling so happy that you nearly walk right past a certain demon. It’s only when he calls out to you do you startle out of your euphoric reverie.

“It worries me how increasingly prone you’re becoming to being at death’s door.”

“Oh shit! Jesus Jimin!”

“Flattered but point proven.” He chastises. Lowering your hand from your chest, you pout up at him before turning away to continue walking down the street to your home. He falls into steps with you easily, what with his long, lean legs but you’re in a good mood and if you’re being honest…. It’s nice to see him after so long. Giving him a once over, you note that Jimin’s still sporting an ashy brown for hair colour, cut short to where you can see a hint of an undercut with his cartilage silver piercing gleaming even in the low lights of the street lamps. He’s dressed in that casual chic way you’ve grown to know him for — one hand shoved into the pocket of his black jeans with a tear on each knee and a simple light denim button down with a square pocket with the words ’Saint Laurent’ scribbled on in black cursive ink. The sight makes you roll your eyes but smile nonetheless; it wouldn’t be him without it.

“I’m actually surprised to see you here; thought you were busy with….stuff.”

“Hey, you’re still technically my charge so my heads on the chopping block if you get distracted by a BTS billboard while crossing the street when you’re not supposed to.”

You choke a gasp of indignation, giving him a shove even though it does nothing more than make him teeter to one side slightly. It also pulls out a deep musical chuckle from him and you find your heart singing along to the tune. You freeze — Oh God, what was that? Your heart skipped a beat just now and it’s not because you had a good day.

“I take it things went well with today by the looks of that dopey smile.” His voice distracts you before you can get lost in dissecting the foreign feeling. When you turn your wide gaze up at him, he merely gestures to the little gift bag containing a new version of a BTS album you don’t own along with other goodies your friends know you’ll enjoy.

“O-Oh, yeah! It went way better than I expected actually. Everyone came out and we went for bubble tea, chilled and then had dinner. They even surprised me with late birthday presents, which they didn’t have to. Also, three of them said they would let me know if they can schedule time off to come with me; two of them said it was a most likely so that’s good.” When you finish recounting your day’s events, you suddenly feel shy, sounding like a grade schooler who’s telling their parents about their first day of school. But Jimin simply nods, humming here and there to let you know he’s listening. You both eventually reach the steps leading to your door and you dig around in your purse for your keys as he waits.

“That is good. You’ll have someone to go with,” Jimin pauses, teasing smile pulling back his perfectly pink lips, “and I finally won’t have to babysit you as much.”

You glower at him but when all he does is stick his tongue out at you, you roll your eyes with a shake of your head. “Yeah, yeah, keep telling yourself that.” And as retaliation, you mumble. “You big tsundere.”

“You know I heard that right?”

“I know, I was counting on that.” You say. As an afterthought, you stick your tongue out at him too and it’s his turn to roll his eyes. You clear your throat roughly to disguise the self-satisfying giggle that escapes your lips, turning back to unlocking your door, “Now are you coming in or not?”

You miss the look of conflict that flits across Jimin’s face as he hesitates on the invitation but ultimately decide against it, schooling his expression back with a carefully placed laid-back smile by the time you turn to look at him. “I’m afraid not; you know how it is.”

You let out a noncommittal hum; you figured and you want to sigh, a bit disappointed at his short visit but you can’t be mad at that. “Right; getting up to no good as per usual?”

“You know it, darling.”

The gruff noise you let out is more or less done to hide your traitorous heart; the term of endearment hitting differently this time around. You cross your arms for good measures, like a physical attempt at keeping your heart in check before it bursts right out of your chest as chew on your bottom lip. “Well, good night then I guess — try not to get discorporated and all that jazz.”

His smiles widens into a full on grin, teeth on display and eyes creasing into crescents. Just when you can’t get blind-sided anymore by him and his unfair beauty, Jimin leans in closer to you, hovering so close that you have to take a half step back and pray he for once, doesn’t see how quickly your face is reddening or how fast your heart is beating. Turning his head slightly, he taps the cheek facing you with a finger, “How about a goodnight kiss for good luck then?”

“Bye you dingus.” You deadpan, ears burning as you clatter through your door and promptly shut it once you step through it, heart pounding a mile a minute.

Jimin watches you go, the Cheshire grin growing into more of a fond smile. He doesn’t think he’ll get tired of seeing you so flustered; face flushed and lips chewing nervously. It’s an image he’ll keep to himself, another memory he’ll cherish of you amongst others because when he finally steps away from your door, it might be for the last time he’ll ever see you.

Ever since Jungkook had met Jimin, he had began to believe that there was a higher being controlling the universe and all that are within it — and he’s not talking about the forces Upstairs™. Some people might call it ‘fate’ or ‘destiny’, an intangible force who assumes no form and takes no sides.

It’s the only way he can explain how he’d end up in this predicament. It’s a whole mess of irony that he thinks even God themselves couldn’t have seen or been capable of doing. He wants to both laugh and cry at the same time….and also strangle Jimin. Jungkook lets out a loud disgruntled groan, dragging his hands through his hair for the second time, dark brown locks mussing up wildly from the gesture. In the solitude of an abandoned rooftop building, he had been sitting by the edge lost in his troubled thoughts on the recent conversation he had with Jimin. He doesn’t know where to begin to unpack all of that.

He should probably start with the most obvious; how stupid the other demon is being and probably the most outrageously dim-witted thing he’s heard since….since his life as a supernatural entity! No sane being of their kind would risk giving up their life for one mortal being, let alone willingly (some may argue guardian angels but you’d be surprised that they’re way more political about it; not just anyone gets that sort of privilege). Jungkook can’t understand it, can’t seem to find words to process it but the more he tries, the more he realizes that it’s not so much about what Jimin wants to do for you, rather it’s what he did to him.

What Jimin plans to do had awakened a long forgotten wound of his that he thought had disappeared, leaving him restless and a bitter taste in his mouth. It dredged up distant memories that felt like they were from another life time ago, or even of someone else’s — his memories, but ones that were best left to be forgotten because they weren’t something he looked back on fondly. It was a time where he felt like a lost puppy; didn’t know who he was or what he was meant to be and so, felt like he didn’t belong anywhere. So how ironic is it that he was able to find himself when he met Jimin, of all things, a demon.

But by no means did they hit it right off the bat when they first crossed paths. No, it was very clear that the bored demon had no intentions of befriending Jungkook at all — in fact, he always had an air of distaste whenever he decided to be a nuisance to Jungkook,, often times appearing when he least expected. And the feeling was mutual, so least to say, neither of them could have predicted that the exact opposite happened.

Over time, Jimin had unknowingly grown fond of Jungkook in a way where he sees parts of himself in the younger while Jungkook had begun to see that Jimin really did have a heart somewhere in his chest after all. Jimin had been the one to give him a choice, opened his eyes to seeing the possibilities, to not be afraid of being himself and because of that, Jimin is someone….he cares about, even if he wouldn’t admit it out loud.

So he has his reasons.

Besides, what’s so special about you anyways? Sure, you let him crash your place from time to time, bake some bombass chocolate chip cookies and he guess you’re pretty funny for a human but other than that, you’re just human; one small blip among the millions — billions — of other fragile souls on this earth that are all destined to perish with time.

Just what does Jimin see in you that's worth protecting?

Well, he supposes sitting around thinking about it wouldn’t give him answers. So with a stretch, Jungkook gets up, peering out at the city horizon as the first warm rays of orange light breaks through the midnight blue of the night sky. He watches for a few moments longer as it becomes brighter and brighter until the sun had chased away any remaining darkness left. It looks to be another clear day, only a few clouds dotting the azure sky but it’s as they say, sometimes a storm can be just around the corner.

When you wake the next day, it’s way before your alarm clock that you set for work but instead of feeling bitter about losing precious minutes of extra sleep, you decide to just lay in bed, using the time to slowly wake at your own pace until you feel like you’re up to the task of getting up finally. You also feel refreshed and in a good mood, oddly enough. Kind of sad if you think too long on it, how this feeling is so foreign to you that you can’t even recall the last time you had felt this way; maybe because they were all too short-lived to begin with anyways. Ah, you forcefully stop yourself from exploring those thoughts any further or else you’ll spiral and start needlessly worrying. You’re living in the now so you should enjoy it and that’s one inspirational quote you’ll actually live by. How couldn’t you when you’re literally going to a BTS concert in less than two weeks.

…

Holy crap you have less than two weeks to prepare.

You bolt upright in bed, suddenly overwhelmed with a pressing matter at hand. Your heart flutters in a strange mixture of excitement and mild panic as you sit there, completely stunned at the fact that this is happening and you still have so much you need to do!

That has you getting up in no time, going through your morning routine faster than you can comprehend with your mind racing with what seems like millions of different thoughts per second. You rush around, trying to do ten things at once; check your phone for any new updates from your friends, make yourself breakfast, finding out where the heck you had left your luggage case, and before you know it, you’re scrambling out the door because you lost track of time for work.

You make it with just barely two minutes to spare but once you start your shift, time seems to reverse its effect on you and the hours begin to tick by slower than watching grass grow. Doesn’t help that you were stuck as a cashier again, the bane of your existence. Though your manager assigns tasks for you to get done around the queue line, you can barely get far enough before running back to your register to cash out any customers that approach. Plus, it has you feeling more like a meerkat in the Savannah; constantly having to pause in concentration to pop your head up to keep an eye out to avoid leaving customers waiting. So in short, you didn’t get anything done.

It leaves you feeling disgruntled but ultimately, you can’t find the strength to care anyways (you aren’t paid enough to). You’re on your last two hours of your shift, cashing out the last customer before the line is deemed clear for you to scurry back over to the closest aisle you were reorganizing but when you round the corner into it, you bump into a body.

“Oh my God! I’m so sorry I didn’t see you!” You gasp out hurriedly, the blow disorienting you for a second so when you finally get a good look at the person, you almost do a double take, eyes widening in surprise. “Jungkook?”

“Hey, poppet — been a while huh?”

And it has, now that you get a good look at him. He’s dressed like he always does — a baggy black shirt that looks to be two sizes too big on him and matching black jogger pants but his hair on the other hand; the dark locks are much longer than you had last remembered, the fringes splitting in the middle nearly reach down to either sides of his chin, falling in thick, wavy locks. It has you starstruck; only ever used to seeing the actual Jungkook from BTS with short, coiffed hair either parted slightly to the side or with fringes flopping over his forehead. If you dare say it, this new look has you almost falling for him, almost. You eventually compose yourself and, after glancing around to make sure no one was around, you drag him deeper into the aisle to continue your conversation.

“Yeah it has,” You begin, feeling strangely awkward but nonetheless happy to see the younger demon. “Thought your visa expired or something.”

Jungkook shakes his head before sweeping the hair out of his eyes briefly as they gleam along with the barest hints of those two bunny teeth through his smile. He’s cheeky as you had remember him being, but for some reason, you sense that it’s been dialled down by a couple of notches like something is weighing on his mind. Just as you’re about to ask what he’s been up to without being too invasive right off the bat, he speaks up first.

 “When do you get off work?”

“Uh..In like,” You check your watch, “Two hours or so?”

“Good, let’s go somewhere after.”

His proposal takes you off-guard, this probably being the first time he’s ever asked you to go anywhere with him, much like Jimin before he spontaneously took you star-gazing (or lack thereof) for your birthday. Now you know something is definitely up, and you can’t help but eye him suspiciously for a good minute. He picks up on your skepticism and only chortles a laugh, reaching out to ruffle your hair which you squawk in protest before swatting his hand away vehemently.

“Relax poppet, I just…have something to talk to you about — regarding your glorified watch dog.”

“Hey!” You automatically gasp affronted, going in to smack the younger demon for bad mouthing his senior. “That’s rude and for that I’m almost tempted not to take you up on your offer.”

“But you will anyways because you’re too nosy right?”

 You have nothing to say to that and it only makes Jungkook beam at you, a full on shit-eating grin. He might’ve pronounced it as ‘nosy’, but what he meant to say was ‘curious’. And that is one vice that you can’t seem to help about yourself. So you begrudgingly agree to meet him after you finish, all the while secretly glad to have something to help you power through the remainder of your shift.

It’s evening by the time you clock out, fishing your phone from your pocket to check the time and also answering a couple of text messages, one of them being your friend who has successfully worked out everything on her end to be able to attend the concert with you. The good news washes away any mental exhaustion you feel from work instantly, and you can’t help the wide smile that breaks out over your lips. You return your friend’s enthusiasm through a series of keyboard smashing text bubbles and badly misspelled words but vibrating at a frequency that could shatter glass aside, it all further makes everything feel so much more real; like this is actually happening.

“Hey, you know texting and walking is becoming the leading cause to pedestrian deaths in the past year recently right? Stop contributing to that.” Jungkook’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts as well as his grip on the back of your shirt, yanking you until you feel yourself tipping backwards but just as you let out a yelp, your surroundings shifts in a swirl of colours and warped images and before you have a chance to make out any of them, it stops and you find yourself in a completely different place than where you had been.

You stumble on your feet, going as far as to grip onto Jungkook’s arm less you wanted to fall flat on your face until you feel like you have a grasp on your vertigo again.

“Don’t,” You wheeze, blinking hard in hopes of stopping your world from spinning in your eyes, gaze firmly locked on your shoes. “Don’t do that without warning next time!”

“Then what fun would that be?” You hear Jungkook snicker above you.

You want to smack him again but you’re more focused on pulling yourself together. When you do, you finally let go of his arm to take a look at your surroundings. You’re surprised to see that Jungkook had teleported the both of you to what appears to be a rooftop garden. And not just the typical, modern city rooftop garden that looks like an open patio people would host fancy cocktail parties on, no, this is an actual garden on a rooftop. You’re standing on a gravel pathway that’s bordered by different shrubberies interspersed with tall, wispy ornamental grasses that sway at the slightest of breezes. In areas where there are more soil space, you spot what appears to be bushels of lavender peeking through to break up the shades of green that overtake the place but what’s even more surprising is that you also spy a couple of trees planted that gives you the impression that this is quite a big rooftop.

“You’ll catch a fly if you keep your mouth open like that.”

You immediately snap it shut, not doubting Jungkook on that considering how much greenery you’re surrounded with, but it still doesn’t stop your amazement from coming through.

“W-Where is this? Are we still even in the city?”

The demon snorts, stuffing his hands into his pant pockets as he begins to stroll off. “Yeah, it’s just a place I found. Apparently it’s owned by some big shot CEO.”

You hastily pick up your pace in order to catch up to his longer strides, can’t help your brow from furrowing at the information. “What if we get caught up here?”

“Nah, bastard hardly ever comes up this far in the building — it’s all just for show. Besides,” Jungkook smirks, “Who says ‘we’re’ getting caught? Other mortals can’t see me remember.”

Right.

You kiss your teeth at that, having no choice but to believe in the younger demon that you won’t get caught trespassing any time soon. So with a sigh, you continue alongside Jungkook as you make your way around the garden. “So,” You start off, “You said you wanted to talk to me about Jimin?”

You glance up at Jungkook when he offers you no immediate response, catching an eyeful of his profile. Deep brown eyes are lost in the horizon ahead of him in an almost trance like state as the slowly setting sun turns the sky into vibrant hues of pink, orange and purple. The warm rays cast upon Jungkook’s skin makes it appear almost golden, glowing from the inside and his hair shines with a rich lushness that you even catch the subtle hues of brown in them.

You’re so caught up in his visuals that for a moment you actually think it’s a good thing no one else can see him because no doubt, he’d be turning heads and getting mobbed just by walking down the street (or perhaps it’s a shame that he can’t be seen). You also get caught up at how scarily accurate he seems to have the actual Jungkook look pinned down; from his shapely thin lips, cutting jawline, prominent nose to his expressive doe eyes and of course, his signature bunny smile. It makes you wonder if there was something he missed from being a perfect copy of the young Korean vocalist.

Finally, as if feeling eyes on him, Jungkook inclines his head towards you, shaking his long fringe in order to see through them and making the numerous silver hoop earrings on his lobe and cartilage twinkle in the remaining light. You try to school your face into one of indifference but the creeping blush on your cheeks gives you away at your shameless staring (you think you might’ve been openly gaping at him too, how embarrassing!)

His lips twitches in the slightest at the corner but he doesn’t comment. Instead he silently ambles over to the left of a slight fork in the path, coming up to what you finally notice are small steps leading to a slightly elevated, wooden deck that gives you an impressive view of the city below behind the safety of glass panels and railings that come up high enough to prevent anyone from climbing over. Jungkook comes to a stop before it and you follow suit just beside him. Another moment of silence passes between you two before he asks you a question that takes you completely off-guard.

“What do you think of Jimin?”

You buffer in answering, mind jumping to all sorts of interpretations and wild assumptions. Clearing your throat to mask the fact you might’ve choked on your spit a little, you stutter out with the vain attempt at seeming totally nonchalant about it, cheeks burning for different reasons this time, “L-Like what? Like, how he is as a demon? Or…like, him as my guardian….?”

“Him, as himself, as honest as you can be.”

You suck in a breath, thrown into an even bigger loop at how blunt Jungkook’s being so suddenly in regards to your guardian demon. “Well,” you drag out, eyes shifting self-consciously as your hand reaches up to scratch the back of your head. “If I have to be honest…I…I think he’s pretty alright for a demon….”

“….Really?”

The deadpan and disbelief in Jungkook’s tone makes you whip your gaze to him and his expression makes you blink incredulously at him. He almost looks offended and a little too serious for a simple enough question, as if your answer will determine the fate of the universe and you just fucked everyone over by giving a half-assed one. It has you back-tracking defensively, like you really did doom humanity but it’s not like you mean to! No one told you so much was at stake in the first place!

“W-What?! Why are you even asking me this so suddenly?!”

Jungkook lets out a loud sigh, the sound rough around the edges from frustration bleeding into it as he says, “Just — “ But then stops himself, shutting his eyes briefly as if to reconsider his approach. You watch quietly as he runs a hand through his hair, tousling the locks and watching them fall back into place. He takes a deep breath in before letting it out, eyes sliding back open to the view in front of him. It’s dark now for the most part, the warm orange light from the setting sun being nothing more than a sliver of colour that eventually gets engulfed by the overwhelming navy blue of the night and in its place are the millions of fluorescent lights that shine from the windows of the buildings and skyscrapers around you.

It’s a nice scenic view from where you and Jungkook both stand, but you’re more so concentrated on trying to read the demon’s expression, so unused to seeing his handsome face pinched into something that isn’t cheeky or teasing in nature. The sight of it mellows you out, thinking that perhaps there really is a much more serious meaning to his question. After a few moments, Jungkook speaks again, his voice low and gravelly with an unknown emotion.

“You and I both know that Jimin doesn’t have that much time left as your guardian. And you and I both know what that will mean when the time comes.”

Ah, there it is.

Your chest suddenly feels as if a weight has nestled itself on it at the sobering statement. Every once in a while, that fact has crept into your thoughts but each time it did, you had always pushed it aside; for more pressing matters at the moment and simply because…. You don’t want to think about it. You don’t want to think about the limited time you have left to spend with Jimin and that at any moment, he’ll tell you he’s leaving or even worse, he’ll simply be gone without a word or trace, and you’ll just have to move on with your life.

“Y-Yeah…I know.” You struggle to work around the constricting feeling, fingers fiddling with the strap of your bag. “I…I just don’t like thinking about it.”

You glance over when Jungkook doesn’t give you a response, only to meet his deep brown gaze already on you with a look that tells you to elaborate. Your face flushes again at having to divulge your inner most feelings but as you had come to realize earlier, this means a lot to Jungkook so you feel obligated to give a (much more) honest answer. Swallowing, your eyes fall onto anywhere but at the demon beside you.

“You better not tell him this…” You can’t help muttering petulantly before starting, “Jimin….He’s done a lot for me — things that I can’t even express my thanks for in words. I don’t know if he told you or if you found out, but he got me tickets to go see BTS.”

“So I’ve heard…”

A small smile creeps up on your lips at the memory, recalling all the emotions you felt on that day. “I honestly didn’t expect him to; I even said I didn’t want his help in scoring tickets the first time he offered but then, he just goes and…gets them.” You shake your head. “He really didn’t have to you know? I mean, it would’ve sucked that I didn’t get to go but I would’ve gotten over it somehow, eventually. So for him to go out of his way, doing something that I’m sure was beyond his contract as my temporary guardian is…. “ You trail off, not knowing if you can find the words or if there really is any to describe how grateful you are because Jimin giving you those tickets meant more than just being able to see BTS, he’s given you a shoulder to cry on (quite literally), listened to your deepest worries that you seldom talk about even to your closest friends and given you his honest advice and support. He’s looked out for you in little ways when there are times he could’ve chosen not to, made sure you ate, slept and took time for yourself.

He showed you that there is a sort of hope that all things will pass and good things will come in time. You don’t know when it happened, but Jimin had become a great source of comfort for you, something irreplaceable and someone who had made you want to do better, take chances and just…live a little.

“He might not like to admit it, but Jimin’s a lot sweeter than he lets on… Or at least, when he deems you worthy of being in his good books.” You let out a light laugh, already picturing his stink eye at the mention of him being remotely ‘good’. From beside you, you hear Jungkook snort.

“I really want to repay him somehow…. And not just for giving me tickets to see BTS. But I don’t think there’s anything I can do or give that would be enough and that… that frustrates me.” You conclude, your own voice dropping into a wistful murmur as you lean against the railings.

Jungkook watches you, seeing the faraway glassy look in your eyes that tells him how lost in thought you were. He sees the way your face seems to soften, heard the way your voice had grown quieter in the gentle way you had spoken of Jimin and though it had not been much, Jungkook’s heard all the things you’ve left unspoken.

It’s the same whenever Jimin speaks about you.

He scoffs quietly under his breath, defeated.

“H-Hey! Don’t leave me!” You yelp, breaking out of your train of thoughts just in time to catch the creak and rustle of Jungkook descending the small steps to continue the walk down the pathway which had been lit up by little post lights along the ground. You hurry after him, not wanting to risk being stranded on this tall high-rise office building that you have no business being in. “You still never told me why you’re asking me this all of a sudden.”

“…Just think of it as a warning for what’s to come.” Jungkook says simply. “It won’t be easy, and you’re only making it harder on yourself by becoming attached.”

You stiffen, the grip on your bag strap tightens as your steps slow a bit to a drag, kicking up the small stones as you go. “I…I know that… I just…” You sigh heavily, shoulders sagging. “I’ll deal with it when the time comes alright?”

It’s a pathetic answer even to your ears, but as much as you want to ignore the elephant in the room, Jungkook’s right. There’s no stopping Jimin from leaving you once he gets the okay from heaven — it’s heaven for crying out loud, who goes against the words of God? Besides, who’s to say Jimin would want to stick around you if given the chance. Maybe it’s just you that’s clinging onto him because of all he’s done for you…. But can you really blame yourself for that? He’s done so much and yet you could do nothing —

You nearly stop walking altogether, realization hitting you like a ton of bricks. Unknowingly you’ve come full circle to the one thing that had been fixated on your mind ever since you’ve thought about it and now… Now you’re starting to think that maybe, unconsciously, you’ve already decided on what it is that you wanted to do.

Your faltering steps catches Jungkook off guard when he notices you weren’t following him, making him turn around to see that you in a way he could only describe as a lightbulb going off in your head.

“What, forgot you left the stove on at home?” Jungkook asks, one eyebrow raised.

You blink back to reality, taking a moment to process what he said before shaking your head. “No, no…Just remembered something…”

He gives you a weird look before shrugging and you fall back into step with him again. Eventually, the two of you reach a sort of dead end where there is fewer plants and an open space that reminded you more of a sand garden instead. Patches of shrubbery still dot around in this spacious area but all that appears here is a stepping stone path that leads to a bench situated under a large tree. It’s significantly bigger than the small maples that you had seen walking around the gravel pathway but it still only had a few small green leaves scattered sparsely on its branches, seeing as how spring has only just begun. Along with the LED lamp lights stuck into the ground along the pathway, the space is also lit up by fairy lights that outline the border of this part of the garden that you had no doubt would make for a great place for a romantic date.

It’s nice, you think idly as you admire your surroundings, if only this was a public place and not on some rich asshole’s building, you would’ve loved to come back here just to find a peace of mind every once in a while. Your eyes wander back to Jungkook, finding him standing under the tree, head tilted back to stare up at the thick trunk. As you approach him, you see him reach out a hand to touch the rough bark in quiet contemplation and as if sensing you behind him, he speaks without turning.

“You’re a good kid poppet — and I’m kinda starting to see why Jimin hadn’t locked you in a basement for the duration of his community service hours just to get it over with.”

“Uhh….thanks? I guess…” You reply, bewildered but strangely reassured.

“Make sure you don’t lose that good head of yours in the future, yeah?” Jungkook says amicably but you can’t help to think that there is something deeper to his well-meaning words. When he turns to you, you nod regardless and it’s enough to have the corner of Jungkook’s lips lift in a half smile filled with something you can’t quite discern in the shadows that fall across his face. It’s gone before you can really pin it down as Jungkook runs a hand through his hair, pushing the thick locks out of his eyes and gestures with his chin at you.

“C’mon, I’ll take you home before your guardian chews my head off.”

“I already told you; we’ll meet tomorrow at midnight, I’ll pay you half of the money and then the other half when we’re done.” Jimin grinds out between his teeth, clutching his phone so tightly he fears he’ll end up cracking the device. The person on the other shoots off more bullshit that Jimin could care less about and with a hard roll of his eyes, he ends the call abruptly, the boiling irritation makes his skin feel hot. He runs a hand through his hair out of habit, mussing the brunette strands until they fall slightly parted against his forehead.

If he hadn’t known better, Jimin thinks being smited would’ve been way less painful than what he’s gotten himself into. But then again, it’s pretty fucking hard to find a reliable informant in the black market on ways to transition himself into a guardian angel. Or at least, that’s what he hopes would happen. Jimin lets out a scathing laugh, finding this all morbidly funny, considering this was the least shadiest option he’s found in his day and a half manhunt after getting Jungkook to help him was a bust.

No matter, Jimin’s come into terms that he’s willing to bet everything he has at a shot of this. He’s not willing to wait around and let some higher being decide his fate if he so can help it because for the first time in in his life, this is something he’s willing to fight for.

And if this all goes to shit….

Well, he at least likes to think he’s a decent gambler.

Taking the crystal glass in his hands, Jimin knocks back the drink with ease, letting the smokey aftertaste linger on his palate as he licks his lips. When he sets the glass down, he bristles, suddenly aware of an all too familiar presence beside him.

“If you’re here to berate me, then save your breath because you’re not going to change my mind.”

Jimin hears a loud sigh and then suddenly the bartender scurries over from having been waved down by the younger. Not long after, a second glass of whiskey is placed before them, making Jimin quirk an eyebrow.

Jungkook takes a healthy swig of the drink, grimacing as he swallows. He turns to Jimin who looks at him with open curiousity.

“Last I remember you don’t like whiskey.”

“I don’t like a lot of things brother,” Jungkook corrects, dark eyes trained on the way he swirls the liquor in his glass absentmindedly. “And as much as I don’t like what you’re planning to do, I’d rather not have you doing something even more dangerous for it.” He inhales deeply, as if after much deliberation, finally turning his attention to Jimin, a hard look marring his face.

“That’s why I’ll tell you — I’ll tell you what you need to do to become a guardian angel.”

#guardiandemon!jimin #bts fic #bts fanfic #jimin fanfic #jimin fic #bts supernatural au #jimin x reader #jimin x you #jimin reader insert #park jimin fanfic #jimin scenarios #jimin imagines #jimin scenario #bts demon au #jimin fluff #park jimin fic #jimin fics #park jimin scenarios #park jimin insert

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praphit · 4 years ago

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Happy New Year! (hopefully, cuz... whew!)

Ugh! Let's get this year over with; what do you say?? I don't even want to rehash the year like I normally would around this time of year.

Pre-COVID seems like so long ago: We were out at bars, games, concerts, and parties of strangers. We were dancing all up on each other, we were passing the bottle around, we were grabbing all kinds of doorknobs with no concerns. Kids were planning to soon graduate and step into their hopeful, bright futures. Adults were planning vacations around the world to escape a once hopeful present.

Times were good! Look at this groundhog eating pizza.

Not a care in the world.

And then, Thanos snapped his fingers, the world turned into shit, and we all realized how much we cared about Tom Hanks.

Can you imagine if that were literal? I think someone should get another gauntlet and turn planets into literal piles of crap. A new villain - "Poopfingers"

Ew... I know. I'm sorry.

Like I said, I don't want to talk about that stuff. I'd rather focus on entertainment instead. Join me for a few awards that I like to call "The Praphies"

MOVIE OF THE YEAR -

"WAP"

I know what you're thinking - "That's not a movie." Meh, it's movie-ish.

It's got two protagonists, whom are trapped in a mansion. It kinda reminds me of Willy Wonka's chocolate factory, but instead of chocolate being manufactured, we'd got... pleasure. Who doesn't want more pleasure after the year we've had??

There's a lot of weird things happening in the mansion, so that’s good for the plot. Plus, these ladies are all about... empowerment? - I guess?

Sure.

Kylie Jenner shows up for some reason, so I'm sure she's up to something; maybe she's the villain. And according to the lyrics "there's some whores in this house". Will they get rid of the "whores"? Will they embrace the whores? Perhaps this word will be taken back, and used as a term of endearment.

As mama looks at her daughter, walking bravely back into schools some day "That's my lil whore." Maybe we're all whores - what a twist.

It's a good picture. One of Scorsese's best. He did direct it right? I think so.

BEST ACTOR -

This one was a close race for me:

Jeanise Jones (Borat 2 - on the right)

This woman, who was not in on the joke, deserves a medal. She's the star.

Joe Exotic (The Tiger King)

Anyone standing behind Trump during those Rona briefings, who can hold a straight face.

Technically, Joe and Jeanise aren't actors, and Trump's people are... you know, TRUMP'S people, so I give the award to Mario Lopez for his role as Sexy Colonel Sanders.

Did y'all watch "A Recipe for Seduction?" It's entertaining. It was my runner-up for MOY.

SHOW OF THE YEAR -

Easy - "The Tiger King" for keeping us all together in the beginning of this 2020 corona mess.

Which leads me to MY person of the year (cuz let's be honest, Uncle Joe and Kamala... no)

The POY is -

Carole Baskin -

We all know that she murdered her husband, and yet she took over Joe's zoo property, continues her animal rights activism while being openly weird as hell, and was last seen being applauded on "Dancing with the Stars".

Only in America.

Animated action of the year - “Soul” for bringing us this negro,

played by Tina Fey :)

I’m just joking ( I love Tina Fey)... well, she does play him, but it’s not like that; still makes me laugh though. At least she didn’t have to worry about blackface.

I like my action flicks. They all can't be tear-jerkers like "WAP".

Which leads us to ACTION HERO OF THE YEAR --- Kiera Allen

If you saw the movie "Run" then you know this actress. She is the acrobatic, wheelchair-bound star of the movie. She is in a wheelchair in real life. In this movie she breaks through one window, climbs across a rooftop, breaks through another window, all with water in her mouth for a special finishing trick to end the scene. And she throws herself down a couple of flights of stairs. Let's see Liam Neeson try to do that!

I'm serious when I say - I expect to see her in the next "Fast & Furious" film.

Award for LEAST FUX GIVEN - Ricky Gervais, for lighting Hollywood on fire.

Athlete - TEAM JLo and Shakira

--- sidelined me (I attempted to dance like Shakira at work) and sent souls to hell

(that's some powerful booty shaking... and or just another example of white people being mad at brown people for existing)

SONG OF THE YEAR -

Vin Diesel’s "Feels like I do" - not up for debate.

Name another action star in 2020 with a single.

Album of the Year - "The Lion King: The Gift / Black is King" - by Beyonce

We didn't feel much like royalty, but at least we were being heard... well, for a lil bit; a lot more than I ever remember us being heard.

Remember when white people in Hollywood felt so much shame that they did this?

We had corporations like the NFL tryna pretend to be woke. Aunt Jemima and that Native American woman on the butter were freed

(though they did keep the land).

White people were afraid, and thought that perhaps this album was going to spark the second coming of Black Jesus.

It's interesting - black people protested (mostly peacefully); wanting justice, and white people got anxious. People started rioting and looting because of injustices rooted to this country's original sin, and white people, who's ancestors committed this sin, shook their heads at us in shame. Black people and anyone (of any color) standing with them were treated as hostiles, while white people with guns, shooting at black people were hailed as heroes.

What a time.

I wish Black Jesus really did come back to these Beyonce tunes.

Oh, and this stuff happened too

Toobin (Ha! This guy )

ASSHOLE OF THE YEAR (4 years straight)-

Trump

It's not even close. I was going to suggest that the dude from "The Vow" being a strong runner up, but even that would be disrespectful to Trump's assholery.

The world was on fire (metaphorically and literally), and Trump as our leader, threw gasoline on it. "BLM" came along to be heard and get justice for George Floyd, and Trump convinced his worshippers that BLM is a terrorist group. He shot away protesters, so he could pose awkwardly with a bible (doing God's work - this “work” included telling us to do the opposite of what physicians around the world plead with us to do during a pandemic, pushing drugs on us that these same physicians say no to, and telling us to inject ourselves with bleach. Hallelujah!). He accused Biden of corruption (pot calling kettle black). He loses to Biden, but fights the results with zero evidence, and at the sore loser rallies, there were stabbings and arrests, to which Trump praises their efforts.

A round of applause for the Michael Jordan of Assholes.

Donald J. Trump!

RESPECT!

Lastly, The Praphie (most coveted of awards)

The nominees are -

Kaylen Ward - raised over one million dollars for the Australia fires relief, by passing out nude photos of herself... yep. Seriously, look it up. Well, maybe don’t do that:)

Michael Jordan - "The Last Dance" was the only sports content for a sports addict like myself. MJ was the drug we needed.

Dr. Fauci - Really for putting up with us.

Dave Chappelle - a hell of a year for him. Plus, he was dropping N-Bombs and smoking on SNL

The Fly on Mike Pence's head.

Kamala Harris

Cardi B - just because

The winner is - Dave Chappelle

Not only for his great year in comedy (in this bleeped up year), but he has evolved into a modern day prophet. Who would have thought that the guy who made "Half Baked"

would be the one we'd seek out when racial tensions got to the highest levels this year??

Kaylen Ward would have won it, if she had continued her efforts. She could have raised some funds for Greta Thunberg. She could have used her nudity along-side protesters, or even joined doctors around the world, raising money for a vaccine. Smh. That's a shame.

In thinking about Chappelle's evolution, I'm reminded that we're all processing and changing as a result of this year. Some will change for the better, and others for the worse. Some will go to the depths only to rise up again. Regardless, of how you handle it, it's important to know who your true peeps are. Who loves you? Who’s got your back? Who do you love? We're all going to need true peeps to help us endure. Which leads me to my slogan for next year.

"If you love something let it go, if it doesn't return to you. Hunt it down and kill it." Idk about you, but that touches my heart.

Enjoy yourselves as much as you can tonight, and by that I mean safely :) Some of you might want to consider going to bed early, just to end this year faster.

Happy New Year, everyone!

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btswrckd · 5 years ago

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Jealousy

Jung Hoseok x Fem!Reader

Summary: Hoseok is not happy after you spend most of the week ignoring him while at the new stop on their tour

Just a little something I couldn’t help writing after that unholy gifset popped up on my dash.

Warnings: jealous Hobi, fingering, unprotected sex, really just a bunch of smut with a little bit of fluff and humor

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“It’s a full set tonight, so try not to over exert yourself.” You warned, swiping along the screen of your tablet, going over the details of the concert to make sure nothing gets missed. Feeling Hoseok’s stare on your figure leaning against the counter, you cleared your throat and ignored him, “And really look after Jimin tonight. I know he slipped on stage at the rehearsal and they were supposed to have scuffed his shoes to keep him from falling, but we still have to be careful.”

“Jimin said he was okay,” Namjoon tried to break the tension from his seat beside Hoseok’s, watching his friend roll his shoulders in irritation, “but I’ll make sure he stays away from that spot.”

“Thanks, Joon,” You smiled warmly at him and Hoseok’s nostrils flared at getting your cold shoulder only for you to be so chummy with his junior. “So the stage crew marked that spot just in case, but if for some reason one of you guys feel like it’s not enough, let me know so I can get with Brandon during the---.”

“And what exactly will Brandon do?” Hoseok snapped, the stylist ruffling his hair freezing in place and glancing at you. It wasn’t very often that he had a temper like tonight so everyone was surprised with his attitude. “You’re awfully friendly with someone you’ve barely known for a few days.”

“He’s part of the stage crew, Hoseok, he’s very important. And it is my job to make sure nothing goes wrong.” You rolled your eyes at his tone, having been with them for about 4 years now and knowing full well what a tantrum from him looks like. Not a full on fit, but passive aggressive comments that never affected you the way it did others because you learned how to handle them. “What exactly is your problem with Brandon anyways? He was the one who suggested using softer lighting for Jimin’s set and it helped. Frankly, I’m a little concerned with how ungrateful you’re acting because you don’t like him. It’s our last night here so the least you can do is act like an adult for the next few hours. Right?”

“Everyone out.” He growled, snagging your wrist in his hand and watching the makeup artists and stylists scramble for the door. He exchanged a glance with Namjoon in the mirror before his junior rose from his seat to leave the room, closing the door on his way out and taking time to lock it.

“Problem?” You asked with a raised brow and caught the tic in his jaw, his displeasure at your attitude evident in the way he pulled you onto his lap roughly. Your squeak of surprise as you sat perched on his lap made him chuckle and pink tinted your cheeks when your hands landed on his bare chest. Feeling his chest tense under your touch was foreign to you, having never been as close to him as you were now, his nose bumping against yours and making you shiver.

You spent quite a lot of time with each member, helping them with wardrobe or their mics, but never pressing against them the way Hoseok held you in place now. The chains around his neck gleaming in the bright light bouncing off the vanity mirror in front of him. The hunger in his eyes never wavering made you duck your head to shy away from him, but he was having none of it. His large hand threaded the hair at the back of your neck and the other splayed between your shoulder blades, crushing your chest to his.

“I’ve been patient with you, Y/N,” Hoseok mumbled against your lips, not quite touching them but not leaving a lot of room to pull away either. “I’ve behaved myself every time you’re around, giggling and laughing with the other members, and when that stage crew member was drooling over you last week. I’ve been good about not letting my temper get the best of me when I actually wanted to rip his arms off for even trying to touch you.”

“Hosek,” You breathed his name as the memories of flirting with the rather attractive American crew member came flooding back. The boys had spent all day rehearsing and when they had five minutes to themselves, they were bombarded by their management team and the new intern Hyerin.

She was a sweet girl and had developed a crush on Hoseok but like you, she chose to ignore it because it would cost your jobs if either of you were caught being intimate with a member. But the last few days, Hyerin didn’t seem to mind the thought of losing her internship as she had helped him wipe the sweat from his face and neck, sometimes lingering a little too long for your liking.

You were embarrassed to admit your jealousy so you instead ignored Hoseok’s requests and needs in favor of Jimin, or Taehyung, until Brandon had struck up a conversation with you. Noticing the way Hoseok had attempted to get your attention, you simply gave Hyerin the task with the excuse that she won’t be an intern forever and would need to become used to running around like a chicken with her head cut off.

“You ignored me yesterday,” Hoseok sneered through clenched teeth and felt your fingers curl into fists against his chest, the grit of his voice sending a wave of arousal through your body and shooting straight to your core. Tilting his head playfully, he pressed his lips to yours gently, testing your resolve by toying with the zipper of your sundress and catching the way you clenched your thighs together. “That wasn’t very nice of you, baby.”

You whimpered as his hand came around from your back to gently pry your thighs open, his fingers massaging your skin. The heat radiating from his hand scorched your skin, your nails digging into his bare chest and he groaned before claiming your lips in a desperate kiss. If his hand went any further up your thigh, he’d no doubt come into contact with your damp panties and the thought had you wiggling around on his lap, grinding down on his crotch in order to get comfortable.

“Don’t tease me,” He gasped, dropping his head to your shoulder while his hands quickly came to rest on your hips. Despite his words, Hoseok had aided you in rocking back and forth on his lap, his cock straining against the zipper of his pants as he grew painfully hard. Feeling your fingers play with the zipper of his pants, his hips bucked under your touch, encouraging you to pop open the button and reach under the waistband of his boxers. He hissed against your mouth when you pulled him free, his cock slapping against his stomach, the tip red and pooling with pre-cum.

Any other time you would have drooled at the sight, but you couldn’t stop yourself if you tried and wrapped your hand around his girth, stroking along his shaft slowly and gently. At the same time, Hoseok’s hand wandered high on your thigh, rubbing his fingers up your slit and you whined at the uncomfortable feeling of your panties sticking to you. Pulling back from his kisses, you concentrated on your hand bobbing up and down his cock, giving him the freedom to leave open-mouthed kisses along the column of your neck biting down in tandem with his fingers pushing past the fabric of your panties to sink his fingers knuckle deep in your pussy.

You gasped and arched your back, hand stilling in the process, head dropping back to allow him more access as he kissed and bit his way down to the tops of your breasts. A moan broke from you, echoing loudly around the room, your body tense with the sudden prodding of his long, veiny fingers. “Jesus, Hoseok. A little warning next time, huh?”

“Of course, baby,” He half promised, not really paying attention in his quest to wreck you in every way possible. Tugging on the straps of your dress, the top pooled down to expose your bra clad chest, he growled at the offending material and curled his fingers to reach that spot that you going crazy. “God, if I had more time, I’d ruin this.”

“This was expensive.” You narrowed your eyes at him, lingerie wasn’t abundant in your closet, but the few pieces you did own cost an arm and a leg. You remembered asking why the hell it was so expensive when you’d gone shopping with your sister and she had giggled at the scowl on your face.

“Yeah?” Hoseok tilted his head, his fingers working you up once again at the thought of you wearing it on a date with someone else. “Who’d you buy it for, Y/N? Something expensive like this surely wouldn’t be for no reason. Tell me, baby, who was lucky enough to see you in this, hm?”

He was teasing you. You knew that and still you couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out, “Kihyun. He asked me on a date before we left for the tour.”

He stood from the chair abruptly, spinning you around to face the mirror, his hand pushing down on your shoulder blades to flatten your chest against the counter and causing a pitiful whine to leave you. “Don’t test me, Y/N.” The tips of his fingers brushed against your sex, your knees buckling under the weight of his chest pressed to your back. Your hair had been pushed away from your neck so he could plant kisses against your skin, leaving pretty bruises behind.

“I’m sorry!” You gasped out at the feel of his long fingers pushing aside your panties once more and burying themselves in your sex, curling deliciously and making you squirm.

Hoseok’s deep chuckle vibrated against your back before he stood straight to flip the skirt of your dress up, his hand smoothing down the swell of your ass with a satisfied hum. “If I didn’t have to go on stage right now, Y/N, I’d punish you. Your skin would look so pretty all red from my hands.”

“Hobi, please,” You weren’t entirely sure what you were asking from him but he seemed to understand just fine, using his foot to spread your legs and grind himself against you while his fingers worked on bursting the familiar coil in the pit of your stomach. Your nails scratched against the marble of the makeup counter, your cunt clenching around his fingers at the feel of his cock running along your slit.

“Was it fun flirting with that crew member, baby?” He teased the head of his cock against your entrance, withdrawing his fingers and running his tip along your wet folds, smirking at your desperate pleas. “What his name again? Brayden, Ben?”

“B-Brandon.” You provided, looking up to find his reflection staring back at you, a wicked glint in his eye as he buried himself to the hilt. A sharp gasp left you, the stretch of his cock burning as he bottomed out quickly and held your hips still against his until you could get used to him. Head falling forward to rest against the counter, you shifted from foot to foot, tears stinging your eyes at his girth. It had been far too long since you last had sex.

“Are you okay?” Hoseok leaned forward to press a gentle kiss to your temple, threading his fingers through yours against the countertop and waiting for your permission to move. He really should have prepped you more but the temptation of you; your voice and your smile, it all had him much too eager to have you. He was going to wait to ask you on a proper date once the tour was over but he’d snapped when he saw you carrying a comfortable conversation with the stage crew and knew he couldn’t wait any longer.

The stress of attempting to ask you out coupled with the anger of having been ignored by you showed in the way he’d stomped around stage during rehearsal, snapping at his fellow band members and even making Jimin cry from a ridiculous argument (that he later apologized for), he found himself slamming his hotel door with the request of being left alone for the night. On top of everything, he’d woken the next morning to find a text from Hyerin saying she’d be helping for the day because you would be far too busy with soundcheck.

“Hobi,” Your small whisper broke him from his thoughts as you pushed back against his length, “please move.”

“Tell me if it’s too much.” Hoseok left another loving kiss to your temple before pulling out halfway and thrusting back in, creating a good pace and hearing the smack of his hips against yours, moans tumbling from your slack jaw. He hissed at your clenching walls, bracing one hand against the mirror and groaning at the sight of your reflection, having imagined on many many nights what you’d look like coming undone because of him. His hand and imagination hadn’t done enough justice in comparison to the real feel of you.

“You’re doing so good for me, baby,” He praised with a moan as he peppered the back of your neck with kisses, his bare chest sticky with sweat against your back but neither of you seemed to mind. “You feel so fucking good, Y/N.”

You panted at the way he sped up his thrusts, the tops of your thighs burning as they rubbed against the edge of the countertop with each buck of his hips and he seemed to sense this, pulling your back flush against his chest as he stood straight and took two small steps back to the chair he’d occupied earlier. “Fuck, Hobi!”

“Shhh, baby, wouldn’t want your little pretty boy to hear you, hm?” Hoseok sat back, lifting you onto his lap and watching your jaw drop in ecstasy at his cock sinking deeper with the change in position. With your head dropping back to rest on his shoulder, he was free to watch your chest rise and fall heavily, staring at his marks painted across your skin. A sense of pride bloomed in his chest at the sight because everyone would know what happened in this room, Brandon included.

Rocking back and forth on Hoseok’s lap, your hand came to rest on top of his when he pushed down on your belly to pull you as close to him as possible. Your other hand curled around the armrest of the chair, your body hot with sweat beading across every surface of your skin, your eyes fluttered shut while your back arched when you felt his fingers rubbing messy circles against your clit. “Hobi,” You chanted his name like it was the only word you knew and he groaned in understanding, your walls clenching around his cock so tight that it was getting harder to move.

“Cum for me like a good girl, Y/N,” He breathed against your ear, his fingers stilling as the familiar heat in your belly burst and you cried out, orgasm washing over you in waves, chest heaving, and body falling limp against his in exhaustion. Helping you ride out your orgasm, he filled you with thick ropes of cum before he could stop himself and pull out. “Shit,” He mumbled as he nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, mumbling his apology for not realizing sooner how close he was.

You didn’t say anything as you took the time to observe yourself and him in the mirror in front of you, running your hand through his sweaty and damp hair, almost giggling at the thought of the stylists scolding him for fucking up his hair. Hooking a finger underneath his chin, you pulled his face to yours for a proper kiss, finally feeling his soft lips against yours and coming to the obvious realization that no one would ever be able to do it for you again. Hoseok was it, everything you wanted and more, and sure you’d had feelings for him since you started working at Big Hit but you did your best to keep them at bay. You had zero idea he felt the same way and you could honestly say you didn’t give a damn about the rules now that you did.

The rules!

Reeling back from Hoseok’s kiss, you quickly scrambled off the chair to straighten yourself and smooth out your hair, frantically looking towards the door as two sharp knocks made you jump sky high.

“Hyung,” Namjoon’s deep voice carried through the heavy door clearly while you worked on tugging your dress back up, “we’re on in 10 minutes.”

“I’ll be right there.” Hoseok took his sweet ass time making himself presentable, as if 10 minutes was a shit ton of time when he still needed to get dressed.

“Oh shit,” You began to panic and pace around the room, ignoring the uncomfortable feeling of your arousal sticking to the insides of your thighs, “Oh shit, oh shit!”

“What?” He asked as he heard Namjoon’s footsteps moving further and further away from the room.

“What?!” You parroted and slapped at his shoulder roughly, “Do you know how much trouble I’m going to get in, Jung Hoseok?! There’s a reason Big Hit is adamant about not hiring single people, stupid! Oh, my god, I’m dead. Your managers are going to kill me and the rest of the members are going to be upset with me.”

“Whoa, whoa,” Hoseok gripped your shoulders to keep you from pacing about, cupping your face gently with a smile on his face. “Who said you’re going to get in trouble? The staff knows how I feel about you and so do the guys...I was waiting...to ask you out.”

“Oh, well,” You nodded in mock understanding and narrowed at eyes, “glad we at least got the formalities out of the way.”

Hoseok chuckled at your joke, sweeping his hand through his hair to push it back from his forehead where it stuck. “I’m sorry. It shouldn’t have happened this way but I like you, Y/N, a lot.”

“I like you too, Hoseok,” You sighed and shook your head, unable to tell if you were simply dreaming or if Jung Hoseok actually had feelings for you. Post sex haze was a strong thing, teaching you on many occassion that a guy will tell you just about anything to get in your pants again. “But this, us...what if it doesn’t work?”

“It’ll work,” He promised, taking your hand in his and squeezing it in assurance. “I can’t just go back to being friends. I want to at least try. Please?”

Chewing on your bottom lip, you searched his face for any sign of doubt, but Hoseok was a man of his word and if he didn’t think you stood a chance as a couple then he never would have said anything. “Okay,” You conceded with a nod, squealing as he beamed and picked you up by the waist to spin around in joy. “Hoseok! You’re going to drop me!”

“Hyung,” Jimin’s timid knock interrupted and you had to slap Hoseok’s chest to have him put you down. “Um we only have five minutes before we go on and the stylists said they need you.”

“Go,” You pushed at your now boyfriend’s naked chest, smiling at the shit eating grin on his face as he opened the door, Jimin, Jungkook, and Taehyuhng all falling flat on their faces.

“Uh, hi hyung,” Taehyung laughed nervously at being caught with his ear to the door and was ready to fully blame Jungkook for betting that Hoseok was finally confessing his feelings. Both he and Jimin didn’t think it was true but the smile on Namjoon’s face when he came back down the hall proved otherwise. “So, how’d it go?”

“Out, you little brats.” You scolded and ushered them away from the doorway so Hoseok could leave and finish getting ready. “Yah, Jeon Jungkook, aren’t you in enough trouble? Have you even apologized for the prank you pulled on Jin yesterday? Go, all of you.”

The three maknaes sprinted down the hall before Hoseok could get his hands on them, all laughing and hollering with the goal of the entire city hearing their teasing. Your threats to murder them followed but they paid no attention and you couldn’t deny that they truly share one brain cell.

“I’ll see you in a few minutes,” Hoseok wrapped his arms around your waist, kissing your cheek and nuzzling his face into your neck, a relieved sigh leaving him when you giggled at the tickling of his lips against your skin.

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Later, you watched him run across the stage with more energy than you’d seen all week, his smile so wide that you couldn’t help the pride rising in your chest, giddy that you were the one to make him feel that way. You watched him dance with vigor, his body rolls and hip thrusts sinful as you blushed a deep shade of red and pulled on the collar of your shirt to hide the hickies he’d left behind.

“I hate him,” You mumbled to yourself when you grew hot from all the people crowding around you, but you had to change out of your dress after Hoseok had wrinkled it up. Hoseok shot you a wink from his spot on stage and playfully tripped Taehyung, making the crowd go wild at their banter but really it was payback for spying on you earlier. You laughed along with their management team but your smile faltered when you caught Hyerin’s sad face, the longing for him recognizable to anyone. You felt bad, truly, because you knew she’d seen his marks all over your neck and put two and two together.

“Y/N!” Hoseok shouted as they all came rushing from the stage to change into new outfits, the excitement from the crowd making him buzz with his own. Rushing to lift you from the ground and spin you around until you were dizzy, he kissed you deeply, erasing all doubt and Hyerin from your mind.

He didn’t know how she felt and Hyerin didn’t fault him for that, she only laughed along with the crew at his display of affection, pulling you aside after he left to tell you how cute she thought you two were. You apologized in return for how things turned out, but she waved her hand and wished you all the best, spending the rest of the concert at your side and asking questions that would prove helpful when her internship was over.

#jung hoseok fic #jung hoseok smut #not sure what i did here #hope you like it anyways #bts au #bts imagine #bts fanfic

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leoninapelliolovesconchitawurst · 4 years ago

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ENGLISH TRANSLATION (by me)

LOSDELAMUSICA.COM 19/11/20

https://www.losdelamusica.com/articulo/conchita-wurst-me-encantaria-colaborar-con-ruth-lorenzo-amo-tanto-a-ruth-y-es-tan-gran-artista

Conchita Wurst: "I would love to collaborate with Ruth Lorenzo, I love Ruth so much and she is such a great artist!"

Conchita Wurst is back and she's never gone. It has changed and evolved since we heard “Rise like a Phoenix”. Now behind her is also Tom, who is embarking on all kinds of projects, like his recent collaboration with Ricky Merino on "Smalltown Boy".

We had the pleasure of interviewing Conchita and below we have his answers on his appearance at Eurovision, his new album, his new stage as presenter and some curiosities like his dreams to be realized.

After your stint and your victory at Eurovision in 2014, now that time has passed, how has that influenced your new music? Are you still seeing as much impact?

I believe that all musical development is an evolution and that everything that comes from the past influences the present and the future. Winning the Eurovision Song Contest and all the attention that came with it allowed me to live the life I live today. And I think I felt a lot of pressure at first to be perfect and do everything right, and now a few years later I feel more mature and genuine and I have no intention of thinking about what other people might think. I'm just doing my thing.

“Truth Over Magnitude”, T.O.M, what does this record mean to you? Why does it have the initials of your name (Tom)?

It means that I appreciate the truth and being myself more than the celebrity. You understand? Being famous or a celebrity is fun and all, but in the end it doesn't mean anything to me. It's no good if you don't live the life you want to live. "Truth Over Magnitude" is very personal, so it fits very good as an album name, and abbreviated as TOM, it also shows that this album is much more my personal self than Conchita.

Your projects do not end there. You recently launched a collaboration with Ricky Merino, how did you receive the proposal?

I love collaborating with other artists and seeing what we can do together. Ricky contacted me and sent me his version of "Smalltown Boy", which I loved. So of course I said yes when he asked me to record a reissue of the song together.

Is the career or the fame of an artist important for you to collaborate with him?

Obviously it's flattering that a famous person wants to collaborate, but again I think it's “Truth Over Magnitude”. I really wanna like what the other person is doing, I wanna like the voice and the whole vibe, that's more important than the fame. I would never work with a super famous person that I don't like. And I've worked with people in the past who weren't very well known and we still do duets and projects together.

Which other Spanish artist would you collaborate with?

I would love to collaborate with Ruth Lorenzo of course, I love Ruth so much and she is such a great artist! And I think there are so many talented Spanish artists that I don't even know! Send them all to me and we'll do something together! (Laughs)

You also sang with Anastacia, do you want to edit one of her songs in the studio and release it as a single? Which?

I would record all of Anastacia's songs with her! She's an amazing singer, such a kind and friendly person and I think we would have a great time together in the studio!

Why do you think we need an example like you to follow for the LGTBI + collective? Are you proud to be a reference?

I don't like to think of myself as a point of reference, honestly, and I've never seen myself as an example. I like to think of myself as a guy who does his thing. But yeah, sure, I know I'm an example in people's heads, not mine.

Hope a lot of people will see that you can do whatever you want as long as you don't hurt others. If you want to be a bearded woman, be a bearded woman. If you don't want to be the bearded lady anymore and want to make electronic music, then do it. You only have one life, and I hope that's what people see in me: the motivation to love their own life and their fantasies.

You also worked as a presenter this 2020 on German TV, what about the experience in 'Fame Maker'?

You know? I love hosting TV shows especially when they're live because it's so much more fun than pre-recording and recording stuff over and over again. And “Fame Maker” was the first live concert I did this year where there was a real audience, it was also very nice. Having instant reactions is very important, not only for me as a presenter, but also for the jury, the artists and the entire production team.

Being a program where you can see but not hear, does the image matter more or are there other deciding factors?

Seeing the artists without listening to them was really interesting and fun. Of course, it also makes you aware of how quickly we judge someone by seeing them for a few seconds. But you can't see the talent, you can't see people who can really sing and have a great voice.

You might be able to see if they have some experience on stage. But it was also the fun of this show, anyone could guess it and it was full of surprises all the time!

How important is the image to you?

Image in the sense of how you look, your hair, what you wear is of course very important in the entertainment industry. Not just in situations like a cover shoot or during a three minute live TV show.

I think everyone knows what it feels like to look in the mirror and say, “Wow! Today I love myself a lot ”, that gives you a lot of confidence. Likewise, we all have days when we feel like wearing jogging pants and not leaving the house. I think the appearance and image can help a lot with the confidence and the way other people notice you. Use them to your advantage!

And now that it seems like every dream is impossible, do you see yourself in the middle of the Super Bowl in a few years? You would like it?

Haha, they still haven't called me! Of course, the Super Bowl is one of the greatest entertainment shows in the world and every year we see how Americans are crazy about having a massive experience.

At the same time, I like to watch the Eurovision Song Contest because, if we're being honest, it's our European Super Bowl and we don't have to watch a lot of sports to finally enjoy it. (Laughs)

What can we expect from Wurst in the short term?

With the pandemic, it has been a very difficult year for artists around the world, and I fear it will still be some time before we can enjoy concerts with crowded audiences. The closures in Austria have made me think about things I would like to do in the future, I have been working on some creative projects and looking forward to sharing them with my fans, when possible.

But don't be fooled, of course I also spent days at home doing nothing and being lazy; I think it's also something that unites us all. It's also okay to be lazy sometimes.

Thank you very much for your closeness and for answering questions so extensively, Conchita. We wish you good luck and success.

Check out the latest single with Ricky Merino on 'Smalltown Boy' below, then one of Tom's most recent singles, 'Hit me':

#conchitawurst #wurst #tomneuwirth #singer #artist #esc2014 #escwinner #music #performer #lgbt #celebrity #smalltown boy #article #translation

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rockandrollstorytime · 5 years ago

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Rock and Roll Storytime #9: The Decline and Death of Brian Jones

I’ve probably made it no secret that I have a freaky-ass memory throughout the course of this series, and this won’t be an exception. Aside from many of the exact dates, I can remember exactly how I got obsessed with Brian Jones.

It started in May 2019 while I was goofing off in art class. I was trying to write about the 27 Club, being obsessed with Kurt Cobain at the time, when I found myself captivated by a certain other blonde in the club.

I don’t know what kept me around. Maybe it was the delicate features framed by silky blond hair. Maybe it was the complicated story of his life. Maybe it was his mysterious death, and my drive to find out what really happened. Or maybe it was that shitty movie they made about him in 2005.

Whatever the reason, I stuck around. I’ll even put it this way: “Came for the morbidity stayed for the music. “

Let’s start at the beginning, shall we?

It took me about a week or two to come up with my first theory between wondering what the hell I was getting myself into and trying to decide whether I should watch Stoned. I found out very early on that Brian had developed asthma at the age of four after a bout of croup. Knowing that asthma attacks can result in death, I didn’t think it unlikely that Brian could have drowned as a result of an asthma attack. In my research, I found an article stating that chlorine mixing with organic material can trigger symptoms of asthma attacks and allergic reactions.

I knew I’d need more evidence though but given that I didn’t want to be too intrusive this early on, that would be a slow process. If there was one thing I held on to, it was my firm resolute to not fall for another murder conspiracy so soon. It didn’t end so well for me the last time.

As I was trying to piece together what exactly happened to Brian Jones, I was also beginning to find out the story of how he got to that point in the first place.

There are many reasons I have love-hate relationships with Mick Jagger and Keith Richards, and their treatment of Brian Jones is by far the biggest one.

Where the story of Brian Jones’ decline really starts is at the Ealing Club on 7 April 1962. It was here that a young Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, and Dick Taylor saw Brian “Elmo Lewis” Jones take the stage for the first time. The next month, Brian put an ad in the papers for musicians to come join a band he was starting. He quickly brought together Ian Stewart, Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Dick Taylor, and Tony Chapman. The band, which Brian dubbed “The Rollin’ Stones,” gave their first performance on 12 July 1962, though there seems to be some confusion over who was playing drums that night. Bill Wyman replaced Dick Taylor on 7 December 1962, and Charlie Watts replaced Tony Chapman on 9 January 1963.

In the early days, Brian served as the Stones’ manager. It ended up being this very thing that led to the first cracks in this fortuitous partnership.

First thing’s first, Andrew Loog Oldham came along, and in May, he became the Stones’ manager. He only really had eyes for Mick and was one of the ones who led the subsequent whispering campaign against Brian. Not helping anything was when, on 13 October 1963, the others found out that Brian had been paying himself an extra £5 ($5.58). These were expenses he deducted because he believed that should be his pay, considering he was doing much of the work at this time. (I can sort of relate; I’ve suffered through high school group projects).

On the economics side (lord knows, that’s more Mick’s thing than mine), Bill Wyman has since stated that the Stones were making £193 ($215.38) a week. Adjusting for inflation, Brian was deducting roughly £87.26 out of £3,608.53. For the Americans in the crowd, that’s roughly $114.20 out of $4,722.66, once adjusted for inflation. Granted, across the board, that’s roughly 2.5% of the band’s total income at this point. Still, even that much might matter when you’re a bunch of starving artists.

When Paul Trynka summarized why everybody was pissed in his book, Brian Jones: The Making of the Rolling Stones, he said that for Mick, it was because he was a student at the London School of Economics. Five pounds is five pounds. Meanwhile, Keith was pissed because he, like everyone else in the band, was under the impression that they were earning equal pay in this group effort.

Pro-tip: If you start a band and feel you should be paid more because of how much of the work you’re doing, please disclose this with your band and work out an arrangement that will be beneficial to everyone. Otherwise, shit gets ugly.

Brian also didn’t help his case by insisting on staying in fancier hotels than the others (he was a bit of a neat-freak and a narcissist).

Keith later said, “He had an arrangement with (Eric) Easton, that as leader of the band he was entitled to this extra payment. Everybody freaked out. That was the beginning of the decline of Brian. We said, ‘Fuck you…’”

Meanwhile, Ian Stewart (who had been ousted from the band earlier that year) stated, “When we started playing outside London, Brian said, ‘I’m the leader of the group and I think I’ll stay at the best hotel. All the rest of you can stay in a cheaper hotel.’ Of course, the rest of the Stones just laughed at him, and that was it from then on. It was all over for him as the leader. He started to isolate himself because of this attitude.”

With one little five-pound note (and an ego trip), Brian had set in motion his entire downfall.

It might seem petty to myself and plenty of other Brian Jones fans, but lord knows, I’m not Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, or Andrew Loog Oldham. Besides, I have no idea how I’ll feel about all this in five years.

Meanwhile, I must confess that I almost did fall into that mindset of believing Brian was murdered. In June 2019, I was in Paris, on a trip across France led by my French teacher. Somewhere between trying not to lose my mind in a big city and taking awkward selfies at Jim Morrison’s grave, I, being overly chatty, started talking to one of my peers about music-related topics. I told her Brian’s entire life story as I understood it at that time, having been obsessed with him for a little over a month at that point. In my haste though, I unintentionally managed to convince her that Brian had been murdered. Despite not meaning to, I did end up entertaining the possibility, both for her and myself, for at least the rest of the night.

Besides, at the time, I was drawing blanks in trying to find hard evidence that Brian wasn’t murdered. I had one (water-logged) book saying he wasn’t, and a (shitty) movie and another book saying he was.

And then, at some point, I regained my senses, and not because of how ridiculous Brian’s death was when depicted in the movie Stoned. (For fuck’s sake, there was a shooting star in the sky at the moment of his death and he showed up as a ghost in the last five minutes). It really had everything to do with how much I regretted believing Kurt Cobain had been murdered.

I once again gathered my resolve and decided to go back on the hunt for more clues.

The second part of Brian Jones’ decline undoubtedly involves his tempestuous relationship with German-Italian actress Anita Pallenberg. The two started dating after a Rolling Stones concert in Munich on 14 September 1965 and developed a close bond, thanks in part to Brian’s ability to speak German. She gave him the confidence he needed to go against Mick and Keith and helped him become the fashion icon he is still remembered as today.

The Who’s Pete Townshend later had this to say: “We hung out a lot from about 1964 to 1966. Part of the time he was seeing Anita Pallenberg. She was a stunning creature. I mean literally stunning. It was quite hard to maintain one’s gaze. One time in Paris I remember they took some drug and were so sexually stimulated they could hardly wait for me to leave the room before starting to shag. I felt Brian was living on a higher plane of decadence than anyone I would ever meet.”

However, their relationship was also highly abusive. They would verbally and physically abuse each other. In fact, one time, Brian broke his wrist while the two were on a trip in Tangier. Though Brian said it was the result of an accident, Christopher Gibbs and Bill Wyman have both stated that it resulted from an altercation with Anita (though sources vary about whether he broke his wrist on a metal window frame or her face).

Of their relationship, Keith had this to say, “I would hear the thumping some nights, and Brian would come out with a black eye. Brian was a woman beater. But the one woman in the world you did not want to try and beat up on was Anita Pallenberg. Every time they had a fight, Brian would come out bandaged and bruised.”

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I’d go so far as to say that the one good thing that came out of their relationship was the fact that Brian composed the soundtrack for her movie Mord Und Totschlag (A Degree of Murder).

As I’ve previously written about, when Mick and Keith were charged with drug possession in February 1967, lawyers told the Glimmer Triplets (Mick, Keith, and Brian) that since they were the most visible of the Stones, they should leave the country. So, Brian and Anita left Britain, heading for Morocco. However, Brian was already in no condition to travel, and he fell ill with pneumonia in Toulouse. He ended up spending a few days there (including his 25th birthday), while Keith and Anita met up in Tangier. There, she started an affair with Keith behind Brian’s back (Keith even confirmed in his autobiography that she made the first move).

When Brian finally arrived, he could tell that there was something going on between Keith and Anita. Keith was apparently shy around girls at this stage in his life but was more confident around Anita. Meanwhile, Anita was now a bit more open around Keith. Not much is certain about what happened next. What is known is that Brian paid for the services of two prostitutes and that there was an incident between him and Anita that night. Keith said that he threw food at her and humiliated her. Bill claimed that he beat her to the point where she was scared for her life. The less said about Stoned, the better.

Regardless, whatever Brian’s actions really were, it was over between him and Anita. Keith convinced her that if they didn’t get the hell out of there, Brian might try and kill her. The next day, Mick, Keith, and Anita fled Morocco, leaving Brian stranded for the next two days.

Brian’s father later blamed his son’s downward spiral on Anita breaking his heart. Others, such as Linda Lawrence, suggest that it was Mick and Keith’s betrayal that hurt him far more than Anita’s.

In either case, he never really forgave Keith. Beyond that, his drug and alcohol consumption only worsened.

This part of the Stones’ history is… tricky. Of course, I can’t condone Brian for his behaviour, but Keith, and especially Anita weren’t entirely in the right in this situation. Ultimately, Keith and Anita stayed together until 1980 and had three children (one of whom unfortunately died in infancy). Besides, I understand Keith’s actions the most out of everyone, given that he had a noble intent in getting Anita away from Brian’s increasingly toxic behaviour. Of course, it’s also important to note that Brian and Anita were 25 and 24 respectively at the time of this incident, and beyond that, they were young and impulsive, with unfortunately predictable results, given that they both could be volatile.

I may have an infatuation with Brian, but sometimes, something’s got to give.

Fifty-two years after that clusterfuck, I was continuing my research into the life of L. B. H. Jones as the fiftieth anniversary of his death came and went. A week or two later, I decided, despite some reservations, to get Bill Wyman’s book, Stone Alone.

Say what you will about Bill (I know at some point I’ll be commenting about the travesty that was his relationship with Mandy Smith), but I figured that if I wanted to know about the early Rolling Stones, he’d be one of my best sources. At the very least, he’s the only one who’s given Brian any sort of credit for his accomplishments instead of solely focusing on his failures like Keith tends to do. As I was flipping through random pages, I learned that Bill had written about one of Brian’s many illegitimate children. He called her “Carol,” for the sake of anonymity, and in it, he discussed the matter of her being diagnosed with temporal lobe epilepsy. She and Bill even applied some of her symptoms to things Bill observed when he was with Brian. In that one instant, what happened to Brian the night he drowned seemed to make perfect sense.

One of the things that had made putting the clues together so difficult from the very start was that Brian had punctate haemorrhages (tiny bleeds normally found in shaken baby syndrome) in his brain, which indicated that he’d been thrashing around quite a bit in his final moments.

Temporal lobe epilepsy can’t be cured, but it is manageable to a degree with medications. Brian, however, was never diagnosed, which is why we can’t be certain that he had epilepsy. There is no doubt in my mind that if Brian did have epilepsy, it would’ve gotten worse over time, given that Brian received no treatment. Carol speculated that Brian likely chalked up many of his symptoms to being hungover. Even then, he might not have realized that something was happening with his brain.

While I was typing up my theories though, I remembered that I’d found his toxicology report not long beforehand. As I read it, I found out that the drug that was in his system was likely Mandrax, which he had been prescribed in the days before he died. When I looked up Mandrax, I discovered that it was a brand name for Quaaludes. It can cause mental confusion, ataxia, seizures, and impaired decision-making, among other negative side-effects. The impaired judgment would explain why Brian decided it’d be a great idea to go swimming after he’d had sleeping pills and alcohol…

I still didn’t consider my work done, but this was the closest I’d come to having answers yet.

Speaking of Brian and drug abuse, the third key to understanding what happened to Brian, is to look at his two drug convictions.

However, I already talked about this (quite recently too), so I’ll try and keep this section brief.

As Mick and Keith were formally charged with drug possession on 10 May 1967, Brian found his home being raided by police. Although he’d been tipped off about their arrival, they still managed to find a handbag with cannabis in it, as well as methamphetamines and cocaine. It could be argued that the evidence was planted, but there is no way to prove this. In court, Brian confessed to doing cannabis but denied doing anything stronger (even though there’s pictures of him tripping on LSD early in 1967). The Stones’ new manager, Allen Klein, told him to stay away from the other Stones. However, this had the effect of further isolating Brian when he needed his bandmates the most.

On 30 October 1967, Brian was sentenced to three months in prison for cannabis possession and another nine months for allowing cannabis to be smoked in his home. He was additionally fined. After a rough night in prison, he was released the next day, awaiting appeal, though he was left shaken by that experience.

On 12 December, Brian went to appeals court, where his psychologist argued that Brian would become suicidal if he went to prison. Brian was sentenced to three years’ probation and ordered by the courts to seek professional help.

Lord knows, at this point, Brian might have been making an honest-to-God effort to get off drugs, but on 21 May 1968, police raided his house again. This time, they found cannabis hidden away in a ball of wool in the process. This usually inspires more impassioned arguments from Brian Jones fans that the evidence was planted. Brian himself said that he would swear until the day he died that he didn’t commit this second offense. Because he was still on probation at the time of this second arrest, he was facing a long jail sentence if found guilty.

On 26 September, Brian was found guilty of drug possession for the second time. However, the same judge who sentenced him to a year in prison the first time took pity on him. Instead, he fined Brian and gave him a stern warning to not show up in court again.

As you can see with the attached pictures though, the trials only helped speed up Brian’s downward spiral, and he shut down mentally.

Honestly, I think the trials are a large part of the reason Brian went downhill as fast as he did.

Meanwhile, back in the present day, it was September now, and I was starting to get into the swing of being a full-time college student. While I was procrastinating, as usual, I was messing about on Google and I happened upon Brian’s autopsy report. Fact about me: this was far from my first time reading either autopsy reports or death certificates, so I decided to give it a look. After all, I could understand quite a bit of the medical jargon, which I blame on the fact that I loved reading medical books in elementary school. Couldn’t hurt, right?

Was the report perfunctory? Yes. Were there mistakes? A few that stood out, such as Brian’s height being given as 5′9″ when he was 5′6″, and his age being listed as twenty-six as opposed to twenty-seven.

However, that report did reinforce my most recent conclusions that Brian had overdosed on sleeping pills, which was exacerbated by alcohol.

I knew now that Mandrax had once been prescribed to treat anxiety and insomnia, which Brian likely suffered from following the stress of two drug trials that both resulted in convictions. This was also a time before doctors realized the addictive properties of Quaaludes. For all I know, Brian might not have been keeping the best track of how many pills he was taking (which is also how Keith Moon died).

Going back to the long, sordid story of Brian’s collapse, the fourth major reason he found himself being kicked out of the band he founded was that he stopped contributing to the Stones’ music.

In the documentary Crossfire Hurricane, Mick stated, “You certainly didn’t know if he was going to turn up and what state he was going to be in and then, what he was going to be able to do in that state. What job could you give him? And then, one time, when we sat around, on the floor, we played, in a circle, playing “No Expectations”. And he picked the guitar and played a very pretty line on it which you can hear on the record. And that was the last thing I remember him doing that was Brian. Or, the Brian that could contribute something very pretty and sensitive and it made the record sound wonderful.”

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Some people have compared Brian to someone who wants to quit but doesn’t want a confrontation (Brian, believe it or not, wasn’t exactly keen on confrontation). Instead, he puts in the smallest effort he can, if that. In fact, Brian had wanted to leave in 1967, but Mick convinced him to stay.

Perhaps Brian’s fate might have been different if he’d gone with his gut in 1967.

Brian still contributed to much of Beggars Banquet. By 1969 though, it seems as if he’d completely given up on the band he’d founded. He stopped showing up to the studio, and if he did come, he’d be too intoxicated to play. In fact, there were points where Mick and Keith would turn off his amp, if not tell him to just go home. It got to the point where he (barely) appears on two songs on Let It Bleed: “Midnight Rambler” and “You’ve Got the Silver.”

Frequent Stones collaborator Jack Nitzsche later said “Brian came up to me, looking pretty shaky, and asked me what I thought he should do- he didn’t know where he fit[ted] in. I told him to just pick up a guitar and start playing. Then he walked over to Mick and asked, ‘What should I play?’ Mick told him, ‘You’re a member of the band, Brian, play whatever you want.’ So he played something, but Mick stopped him and said, ‘No, Brian, not that- that’s no good.’ So Brian asked him again what to play and Mick told him again to play whatever he wanted. So Brian played something else, but Mick cut him off again- ‘No, that’s no good either, Brian.’”

Marianne Faithfull, Mick’s girlfriend at the time, told a friend that Brian had sent Mick several letters over a period of several weeks while Mick was away. One that she’d opened said “Please let me come back in. I’ll play bongos, anything, but please let me come back in.”

…I need a moment to recollect myself.

Some fifty years later, I was still trying to make it through my first semester of college. I got myself a book about the 27 Club, figuring there might be something that would aid me in my research. There, I learned that, reportedly, Brian had not only been taking Mandrax, but also Piriton (hay fever medication), black bombers (which had been prescribed to him a mere ten days before he died), and Valium. That’s on top of an inhaler that would later be found to cause heart palpitations.

A couple of months later, I decided to look up the side-effects of every drug that Brian had ever taken, be it proven fact or allegation. That part of my research isn’t quite finished yet, but what I’ve found with the five medications that Brian was taking around the time of his death proved to be particularly shocking.

For the sake of brevity, I can’t list every side-effect. What I did notice is that some included side-effects of tachycardia/bradycardia, confusion, loss of coordination, impaired decision making, hyperactivity, seizures, and stomach problems. Some, like the uncoordinated behaviour, were noted by those who were there, such as Janet Lawson, who realized that Brian had taken sleeping pills that night, based on him muttering that he’d taken “sleepers”. Others could be a no-brainer, given that Brian had an enlarged heart and liver, in addition to suffering from bronchial troubles and pleurisy.

My immediate thought was, “Jesus, Brian, what the hell were you doing to yourself?”

And now for the final part of Brian’s story: the last twenty-five days of his life.

The Stones wanted to go on tour again, this being their first in two years. Due to Brian’s convictions, Stones management discovered that he probably wouldn’t be able to receive a work visa in the U.S. On 8 June 1969, Mick and Keith drove down to Cotchford Farm to tell Brian that he was fired. They brought Charlie along in case Brian decided to put up a fight. However, Brian agreed to back out gracefully, possibly knowing that he’d burned too many bridges at this point. The next day, Brian released a statement, which painted the decision to leave as being his own. He capped it off with “We had a friendly meeting and agreed that an amicable termination, temporary or permanent, was the only answer. The only solution was to go our separate ways, but we shall still remain friends. I love those fellows.”

As I’ve said though, how Brian truly felt about this turn of events will forever remain a mystery.

In the days before he died, it has been suggested by those close to him that Brian was planning on starting another band. Some believe he was going to bring in Jimi Hendrix and John Lennon. Jimi’s camp has since denied that Brian ever approached Jimi. There are also lingering questions regarding whether Brian had given up hard drugs or if he was still taking them. I doubt the latter, considering the well-documented stress of the drug trials.

The picture above was taken nine days before Brian died. Honestly, I do believe there was still some hope for Brian (I can even see it in his eyes). Whether he would’ve recovered or not and whether he’d still be alive today will forever remain up to conjecture, as that’s another possibility that followed Brian to the grave.

Wednesday, 2 July 1969 was host to hot, muggy weather that exacerbated Brian’s asthma. He spent his last day alive with at least three people: Anna Wohlin, his 22-year-old, Swedish girlfriend, Janet Lawson, a registered nurse who was dating Stones minder Tom Keylock, and Frank Thorogood, a 43-year-old builder who’d been doing work on Brian’s property at the time.

Details of Brian’s final day are sketchy, and there are some disagreements over what exactly the people involved did throughout the day. For example, there are disagreements about whether they watched television or not. Some would argue that this is clear evidence that Brian was murdered. I would posit that three of the four parties involved had been drinking. Even if everyone was sober, in a situation such as this, human memory can be extremely unreliable. For example, hundreds of witnesses were interviewed on the night Abraham Lincoln was assassinated, but no two accounts are alike. What we know had to be stitched together from witness accounts in which everyone claimed to have seen or heard something different.

What seems to be the most agreed-upon version of Brian’s death is that he decided to go swimming. Anna was reluctant and had to be persuaded to join in. Janet, the only sober person among the group, decided against swimming, most likely to keep an eye out for everyone else. Janet said in her witness report (recorded on the morning of July 3, 1969) that she strongly felt that Frank and Brian were in no condition to swim. She also recalled that Brian had great difficulty in standing on the diving board, being helped not-so-successfully by Frank. Even after that, his movements in the water seemed sluggish.

I don’t know, but if that were me, I would’ve called emergency services right there and then.

According to Janet, Anna was the first to return to the house, followed by Frank about ten minutes later. When Janet next went out to check on Brian sometime around midnight, she found him face-down in the deep end, and “immediately sensed the worst.”

She ran back to the house to get Frank and Anna, and with their help, got Brian out of the pool. She immediately began resuscitative efforts, despite knowing Brian was already dead. Anna later claimed that she felt Brian’s hand briefly grip hers. However, when paramedics arrived, they pronounced Brian dead in the early morning hours of 3 July 1969.

Brian’s official cause of death was given as drowning by immersion in fresh water, partly as a result of liver damage and the ingestion of drugs and alcohol. To be precise, 1,720 micro-gms of an “amphetamine-like substance” and the alcohol equivalent of three-and-a-half pints of beer were found in Brian’s system.

In short, it was death by misadventure.

As seems to be the case when a young celebrity dies under tragic circumstances, conspiracy theories have since risen regarding Brian’s death. The following list is taken from Paul Trynka’s book. For the sake of brevity (such as it is), some of these will be combined into one section.

1. The most predominant of these theories states that Frank Thorogood drowned Brian. Whether it was second-degree murder or manslaughter as a result of rough horseplay will usually vary between sources. Brian reportedly asked Janet to get his inhaler shortly before his death. The story then goes on to state that Frank drowned Brian and participated little in the efforts to save Brian’s life. It should be noted that Janet did state in her original testimony that she’d asked him to call emergency services.

The main reason people will give about why they believe that Brian was murdered is that Tom Keylock claimed to have heard Frank confess on his deathbed to the murder. However, Frank’s daughter, Jan Bell, has denied that such an exchange could have happened. There was never a point where Keylock had spent any time alone with her father. Furthermore, he’d only been admitted with a respiratory problem, and thus could not have known that he was on his deathbed. She also claimed that on the morning of Brian’s death, Frank saw an argument between Mick, Keith, and Brian over the name “Rolling Stones.” During the fight, Keith allegedly pulled a knife on Brian. If this did happen, it was likely earlier in the year.

In addition, Janet and Anna have since claimed that Brian was murdered. Janet later claimed that much of her original testimony was suggested to her by investigating officers and that Tom told her to hide the fact that she was his girlfriend. Anna claimed that she was spirited back to Sweden in the immediate aftermath of Brian’s death, where she allegedly miscarried Brian’s child. One of Anna’s friends later said that her belief that Brian had been murdered was a recent development. It’s also notable that neither witness came forward until after Frank died. Many of Anna’s recollections about Brian, such as him being focused on music are also contradicted by others who were close to Brian at the time.

Keith later said, “I knew Frank Thorogood, who made a ‘deathbed confession’ that he’d killed Brian Jones by drowning him in the swimming pool, where Brian’s body was found some minutes after other people had seen him alive. But I’m always wary of deathbed confessions because the only person there is the person he’s supposed to have said it to, some uncle, daughter, or whatever. ‘On his deathbed he said he killed Brian.’ Whether he did or not I don’t know. Brian had bad asthma and he was taking Quaaludes and Tuinals, which are not the best things to dive under water on. Very easy to choke on that stuff. He was heavily sedated. He had a high tolerance for drugs, I’ll give him that. But weigh that against the coroner’s report, which showed that he was suffering from pleurisy, an enlarged heart, and a diseased liver. Still, I can imagine the scenario of Brian being so obnoxious to Thorogood and the building crew he had working on Brian’s house that they were just pissing around with him. He went under and didn’t come up. But when somebody says, ‘I did Brian,’ at the very most I’d put it down to manslaughter. All right, you may have pushed him under, but you weren’t there to murder him. He pissed off the builders, whining son of a bitch. It wouldn’t have mattered if the builders were there or not, he was at that point in his life when there wasn’t any.”

(You’re telling me he can apologize for telling Mick to get a vasectomy, but not for even a fraction of the shit he’s said about Brian?)

In 2005, this version of events was turned into the appalling movie Stoned, which featured Tom Keylock as an adviser and was based on claims made by Janet Lawson and Anna Wohlin. The director, Stephen Wooley, claimed to have researched the material for this story over a period of ten years. Really, it feels less like ten years of research, and more like one week. From what I could tell, it did seem that Brian’s death was manslaughter, but honestly, it was too confusing. Frank seemed damn determined to drown Brian in that moment. The movie (quite literally) drowned on arrival.

2. In 1983, Nicholas Fitzgerald wrote Brian Jones: The Inside Story of a Rolling Stone. In it, he claimed to have been a close friend of Brian Jones (his cousin, Tara Browne, actually was a close friend of Brian’s). Not only that, but he claimed to have seen Brian’s “murder.” He claimed that he and 19-year-old Richard Cadbury (who passed away before the story came out) visited Brian at Cotchford Farm the day he died. Allegedly, Brian told Fitzgerald all about his plans to start up a supergroup with John Lennon and Jimi Hendrix, saying “Don’t say anything… it could be dangerous!”

(As keen as I am about the idea of John Lennon, Jimi Hendrix, and Brian Jones being in the same band, you can probably tell that I think this story is a load of bullshit.)

After Fitzgerald and his friend visited a pub, they returned to Cotchford Farm at about 11:15 PM, leaving their car some distance from the house. (Keep in mind, the coroner said that Brian died somewhere between 11:30 PM and 12:00 AM). There, he and his friend saw three men holding Brian under the water, whilst two other people stood by. Suddenly, a man, likely Keylock, jumped out of the bushes and told Fitzgerald to scram, lest he be next.

He refused to give a formal statement to the police. What I don’t think the dumb fuck was counting on was that police would investigate his ass, considering that withholding information could’ve resulted in him being charged with being an accessory to murder after the fact. The police determined that the evidence Fitzgerald gave was “bizarre, full of unverifiable claims that, he, too, had escaped murder attempts, that Cadbury might have been involved with the murderers, and that Cadbury, too, had died ‘in mysterious circumstances”. Detective Chief Superintendent J. F. Reece summarized it best when he said that Fitzgerald was a “Walter Mitty type person” and that he’d come up with the allegations to promote his book. In fact, the book itself had even more ludicrous allegations, such as how Tom Keylock had overseen the whole thing. It got to the point where Eddie Kramer called the story “silly.” John Lennon, meanwhile, believed that Brian was another victim of the drugs scene, and even dreaded him coming on the phone (another reason I don’t believe the supergroup was in the cards for Brian’s future, regardless). Also, Fitzgerald mostly relied on the testimony of those who had already passed away, such as Suki Potier, one of Brian’s girlfriends, who died in a car crash along with her husband in 1981. One of the few living witnesses Fitzgerald claimed to have run into, James Phelge, denied ever having met him.

Also, pro-tip, if you’re going to claim to have been a close friend of someone you’re claiming was murdered, don’t sell your story to the tabloid that got him busted for drug possession. Just saying.

3. In 1990, A. E. Hotchner published Blown Away: The Rolling Stones and the Death of the Sixties. In it, he claimed that Brian’s childhood friend, Dick Hattrell, and a random Cockney named "Marty” had knowledge that Brian was murdered. He claimed that Rich (sounds better to me than Dick) visited Brian shortly before he died and became worried about him. Later, he bumped into someone who claimed to have witnessed Brian’s murder. Marty claimed to have witnessed the murder, claiming that two other women were there, including Linda Lawrence (mother of one of Brian’s sons) who was spirited out of the country following Brian’s death.

In reality, she last saw Brian in 1968.

Similarly, Hattrell has since stated that the story was nonsense; he never visited Brian at Cotchford, and he never said Brian was murdered. Marty has since kept his mouth shut.

Really, it just doesn’t hold up when closely scrutinized.

4. David Gibson claimed to the Brighton Evening Argus that, while he was fitting carpets at Brian’s home, Brian and Anna were absent throughout the better part of the day. When they returned later in the evening, Brian begged Gibson not to leave. Gibson, meanwhile, believed Brian had been murdered and that Tom Keylock was responsible. Some, like Sam Cutler, claim that Gibson saw Princess Margaret at Cotchford Farm, which has led to speculation that Brian was killed to protect her reputation. Gibson never went to the police, and probably believed that he’d been subject to threats and murder attempts. However, aside from Brian’s paranoia and belief that someone was out to get him, Gibson’s story doesn’t line up with many of the other conspiracy theories.

5. Geoffrey Giuliano in his 1994 book Paint It Black claimed that a man named “Joe” said that he’d held Brian’s head under the water for shits and giggles (not something one would normally do for shits and giggles). The thing is though, Giuliano’s book largely recycled content from previous books on the subject, and beyond that, made elementary mistakes, such as claiming that Frank had fled the scene, when in reality, he was there when police officer Albert Evans arrived at about 12:10 AM. It was later found that the tape he’d sourced some of this information from was a fake, made for American radio programmes in New York.

6. Given that Tom Keylock was a bit of a dishonest/disliked character in life, it should come as no surprise that some of the theories focus on him too. In 2009, Sam Cutler claimed that after Brian’s death, Allen Klein (himself a sleazeball) hired some PI’s to investigate Brian’s death and that they’d discovered that Tom was responsible. While Tom did try to pin the blame on Frank and told Janet to conceal her relationship with him, and it is known that he apparently stole some of Brian’s belongings after he died, that does not make one a murderer. It’ll certainly make him a slimeball, but that doesn’t mean he’s a murderer. Meanwhile, in 2013, Cutler claimed confusion as to whether the Klein report even existed. I think at this point, it’s safe to call it a hoax.

In addition, while it is more likely that Tom would have been the murderer instead of Frank, he does have a rather rock-solid alibi in that he was at Olympic Studios and was the one who received the call that Brian had died. Really, any theories that try to say he masterminded a huge plot to have Brian killed and make it appear as an accident tend to raise more questions than it answers.

Let’s all make no mistake though, the police did jump to conclusions rather quickly, there are several obvious mistakes in the autopsy findings, and not to mention, police failed to control the area, which is likely how Tom was able to steal Brian’s belongings and possibly have some destroyed.

Meanwhile, I myself believe that Brian’s death was accidental. Likely, it was the result of a cocktail of prescription medications, alcohol consumption, maybe a side-effect or two resulting from that, and possibly even heart failure or liver disease. Perhaps Brian fainted (which, I honestly hope for, given how painful it is to drown), and with no one around to notice his plight, he quietly slipped away.

I know there’s no way to prove this, given that the police don’t have a good reason to dig up Brian’s bones and it’s probably far too late for a second toxicology report, but given the available evidence I’ve been able to find, I believe this is the most likely version of events.

Truly, a sad ending for a man, who didn’t even have a chance to get back on his feet before fate (and a lifetime of drug/alcohol abuse) intervened.

Whenever I read about Brian’s life story, I always find myself interested by the mistakes, intrigue, and betrayal that seemed to plague Brian’s life from the outset. There are a multitude of what-ifs that honestly make this tale haunting, such as what might’ve happened had Mick and Keith not bullied Brian so severely. There’s also what might have happened if both the Stones and the authorities had better understood the effects of drug use and had the resources and compassion to better deal with Brian’s situation. Most hauntingly, there’s the question of what might’ve happened had someone been near Brian in his final moments and had the opportunity to save him.

I think the biggest reason I keep coming back to his story is that his life as a whole was very conflicting. It honestly inspires both condemnation and sympathy/pity, even in me.

Even if Mick and Keith would rather forget that Brian was ever a part of their band, it is my honest belief that people will continue to discover Brian Jones, whether it be through the 27 Club or through some other means, and I hope that they take the time to learn his story.

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Sources/Further Reading: https://www.drugs.com/illicit/quaaludes.html https://asthma.net/living/swimming-pools-triggers/ https://www.drugs.com/sfx/ergotamine-side-effects.html https://www.drugs.com/sfx/valium-side-effects.html https://www.drugs.com/sfx/amphetamine-side-effects.html https://www.drugs.com/sfx/chlorpheniramine-side-effects.html Stone Alone by Bill Wyman Brian Jones: The Making of the Rolling Stones by Paul Trynka Brian Jones: The Untold Life and Mysterious Death of a Rock Legend by Laura Jackson https://clearcomfort.com/why-asthma-allergy-sufferers-should-avoid-chlorine-pools/ http://timeisonourside.com/chron1967.html http://timeisonourside.com/chron1969.html http://www.timeisonourside.com/chron1963.html http://www.timeisonourside.com/chron1962.html https://www.inflationtool.com/british-pound/1963-to-present-value?amount=5 https://people.com/music/anita-pallenberg-rolling-stones-keith-richards-brian-jones-love-triangle/ https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-lists/the-27-club-a-brief-history-17853/ https://ultimateclassicrock.com/brian-jones-found-dead/ https://www.denofgeek.com/us/culture/music/281978/the-rolling-stones-and-the-mystery-of-brian-jones-death https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/brian-jones-sympathy-for-the-devil-182761/ https://www.mojo4music.com/articles/15989/brian-jones-it-was-murder https://ultimateclassicrock.com/brian-jones-murdered/ https://www.udiscovermusic.com/stories/just-why-was-brian-jones-so-important-to-the-rolling-stones/ https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/obituary-brian-jones-189861/ https://www.oxfordtreatment.com/prescription-drug-abuse/tuinal/

#brian jones #the rolling stones #mick jagger #keith richards #charlie watts #bill wyman #ian stewart #this got long #but i felt i should explain all of this in one go #rock and roll #cw: death #cw: drugs #cw: domestic abuse #cw: drowning #man brian's life was a bit of a clusterfuck

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megakawaiistudentfest · 4 years ago

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What is your opinion on "cancel culture"?

Sorry, this got really really really long.

This is a complicated subject, in part because American conservatives have started throwing around accusations of “cancel culture” for ordinary free market activity and in part because “cancel culture” is a new name for a very old thing that goes back at least to Biblical times, and probably as far back as humans had language.

First, what cancel culture is not. Cancel culture is not someone choosing not to buy a product because they don’t like the things the product’s makers are doing.

If a fast food chain gives money to a gay conversion therapy group, and I decide not to eat there because I don’t want my money going to anti-gay organizations, that’s not cancel culture.

If a heavy metal band puts a picture of the devil on their album cover, and Joe decides that as an evangelical Christian he doesn’t want to buy albums with pictures of devils on the covers, that’s not cancel culture.

Both those things are examples of the ordinary action of free markets. In a free market economy, consumers make choices about which products to buy. They make those choices based on values important to them. They weigh the value of the money they have against the value of the product and make their decision.

The value of the product can and does include intangible things like emotion. It always has. Modern conservatives who blather about “cancel culture” when someone chooses not to shop at Hobby Lobby because they use their “Christian values” to deny health benefits to employees are low-grade morons. Liberals who blather about “cancel culture” when a right-wing Evangelical won’t shop at Starbucks because they use the ‘wrong’ color Christmas coffee cup are low-grade morons.

And anyone who thinks “cancel culture” is a liberal invention or a conservative invention is especially dim.

So what is cancel culture?

Cancel culture is, at least hypothetically, the idea that people should be shunned for ideas or actions that others find disagreeable.

I say “hypothetically�� because in reality that’s not the way it usually plays out. In reality, that idea becomes co-opted into in-group and out-group dynamics, and specifically into using ostracism as a loud public display of in-group values.

What’s the difference between that and boycotting Starbucks or Hobby Lobby?

Cancel culture extends beyond making economic choices. It often extends, for example, to disavowing people in their personal lives, shutting them down in social activities, and (this is a very important component) going after those who support the canceled person or thing, or are insufficiently critical of the canceled person or thing.

The greatest example of cancel culture in American history is without doubt the McCarthyist Red Scare.

Suspected “communists” lost their jobs. They were unable to find new jobs. They were excluded from social events. They were attacked in their personal lives. Their wives, husbands, and children were attacked. Anyone who said “no, I don’t think so-and-so is a Communist” lost their jobs and their wives and children were attacked. People caught up in Communist sweeps sometimes had to leave the country.

Cancel culture frequently plays out within in-groups, not between groups. Cancel culture usually involves a person being canceled from within their own in-group by their own peers, not canceled by someone from a different group.

When the Dixie Chicks were canceled for criticizing the invasion of Iraq, they were canceled by people like them: southern conservatives.

People tend to be canceled for perceived violations of the group they belong to. Part of why cancel culture can appear so vicious is that the people doing the canceling are coming from a place of rage and betrayal. Emotionally, they believe, “I thought you were one of us, but you turned out to be The Enemy.” They feel personally harmed by the person or thing being canceled, even if they have never met or interacted with that person or thing. Cancel culture rests on a foundation of parasociality and in-group dynamics.

Cancel culture is a coordinated attempt to enforce values and norms. When a person or thing is canceled, perceived supporters of the person or thing are also attacked, sometimes even more viciously than the original person or thing. Anyone who is not sufficiently zealous about condemning the canceled person or thing becomes The Enemy.

Cancel culture extends beyond “I won’t support this person” to “I will make sure nobody supports this person.” People who wish to cancel a person or thing don’t simply vote with their own dollars, they try to vote with everyone else’s too.

They may, for example, attack venues that host the canceled person or thing. When the Dixie Chicks were canceled, listeners threatened radio DJs who played their music (and one radio station suspended two DJs for playing them). Radio stations received phone calls night and day telling them to ban Dixie Chicks.

Owners of venues that hosted Dixie Chicks concerts received death threats. Venues had to install metal detectors ahead of Dixie Chicks shows.

Cancel culture is selective outrage. It tends to be triggered not by bad or immoral behavior, but specifically by bad or immoral behavior that makes the people doing the canceling feel personally betrayed.

When the Dixie Chicks were canceled, radio stations continued to play Tracy Lawrence, even though he was convicted of beating his wife.

Spouse abuse is an accepted, or at least widely tolerated, behavior among American conservatives. Condemning the Iraq invasion felt like a personal betrayal of American conservatives’ pro-military, pro-war-on-terror values.

Cancel culture involves bandwagoning. People who participate in cancel culture generally do so because they see others doing so. It is an easy, low-cost way to virtue signal without risk. It does not require courage to go along with the crowd.

I will cop to doing this myself. When Amber Heard made her accusations against Johnny Depp, I jumped on the bandwagon, right here on Quora. It was an easy, zero-cost way for me to virtue-signal. (I have written about that here.)

The thing about bandwagoning is that not only does it offer a way to virtue-signal with no risk and require no courage, people don’t want to fact-check.

When you hear so-and-so has done Something Awful, engaging with the accusation and finding out if it’s true takes time, energy, and emotional resources. Not only that, people who do that work can end up in the crosshairs themselves. Even saying “hey, wait a minute” can make you a target of rage.

Canceling is about moral purity. It becomes an in-group/out-group signifier. “Are you one of US? Or are you with The Enemy?” That’s why the reactions—sending death threats to station managers of radio stations that play the Dixie Chicks, Winona Ryder saying she expected death threats for testifying in court Johnny Depp never abused her—seem so outrageously over the top.

In-group/out-group signifiers provoke strong reactions, even violence, because they feel like existential threats. When a person you believed was part of your in-group becomes part of your out-group, any support for the canceled person is a threat to group cohesion and identity. Because human beings are a social species, that can be perceived as an existential threat.

That’s why it’s not about not eating at Chick-Fil-A. It’s about doing everything in your power to extinguish the person or thing being canceled, and extinguish anyone who supports, directly or indirectly, the person or thing being canceled.

If you don’t buy the new Dixie Chicks albums, that’s free market economics.

If you don’t go to the new Johnny Depp movie, that’s free market economics.

If you stalk, harass, and threaten the manager of the radio station that plays Dixie Chicks, if you threaten to firebomb the concert hall that hosts a Dixie Chicks concert, if you say you’re going to buy a gun to shoot Johnny Depp, if you threaten to kill Johnny Depp’s ex because she says in public he always treated her well, that’s not free market economics. That’s something else, on a whole different level.

What do I think of this?

I think this is part of human nature. I think it has always been part of human nature and always will be a part of human nature as long as we are recognizably human.

I think I’ve participated in it. I look back on the ways I’ve participated in it and I’m ashamed of myself.

I am far less likely now than I was even two years ago to engage in bandwagoning and virtue signaling at someone else’s expense, especially when it seems easy and costs me nothing, and I don’t have all the facts. That doesn’t excuse the fact that I’ve done it.

I think there are a lot of parts of human nature that served us well when we lived in tribes of 50 people and were just figuring out how to use sharpened sticks that don’t serve us well now, and part of trying to be a decent human being is guarding against those things. It’s hard, because they feel natural. They feel virtuous.

I feel like anyone who thinks this is a “liberal thing” or a “conservative thing” is disingenuous. This is a human thing.

And finally, I think I will likely get pushback from both liberals and conservatives for saying this.

#cancel culture #liberals #conservatives #virtue signaling #bandwagon #bandwagoning #in-group out-group dynamics #ostracism #quora #Franklin Veaux

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chimtaesty · 6 years ago

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BH8 episode two

paring: bts ot7 x reader | 3.4k words

warning: none, fluff

plot: You're big hits first ever artist and only solo artist. And since bts are your only label mates (we are not including txt yet pls) bighit decided to built up a reality show called “BH8”

The happenings will be written normally but the commentary and the editing on the episodes will be written in cursive

A/N: HI THERE. my life has been all over the place lately but I hope you can enjoy this thing here a little.

(a collab song between Y/N and BTS plays for the intro while the artists laugh and have fun)

BigHit’s 7+1 makes BH8 slides across the screen as you sit there with the MC’s and the boys next to you.

A show combining the most successful artists of this century. A legendary solo artist who debut 12 years ago and the superstars bts combined in one show. Does that make you as happy as it does us?

episode two

Jin appears first, struggling to get into the shirt his stylist tries to wrap around his shoulders. “It doesn't fit!” he hisses as his stylist laughs and nods. “That's Jimin's” she breathlessly admits. You laugh so loud that Jo Kwon almost falls off his chair.

Jin frowns and takes the shirt off. Jimin comes into frame and waves to the camera. “Army!” he smiles and gives kisses to the camera. “We are trying our stage outfits for the mama performance on. Y/N is changing over there” he points at the small spaced off place you're changing at.

The next frame is you almost dying because of a pair of jeans “I CAN'T FIT IN THOSE PANTS” you almost scream. Your stylist laughs and nods. “Did you perhaps gain weight?” you look at her with your eyes squinted. “Let's try this” she hands you a sparkly two piece. You nod and put it on without any problems. She closes the zipper for you and you leave your dressing spot.

“Y/N-noona. Is that your final outfit?” you whip around and the frame slows down Look at our princess flies across the screen. “I don't know yet, I still have a dress I want to try on” you smile. Jungkook comes closer and shows you his jacket. Jimin is left alone in front of the camera “Looks like we are leftover” just in time Hoseok comes out with a big smile. “BH8 is trending on twitter!” you leave your stylists grip and walk over to Hoseok who shows you his phone. “Yeah! Army & Y/F/N are the best. I love you!!” you shoot kisses towards the camera. We love you too, Y/N.

“That's a outcome! You haven't even performed and you're already trending. Army & Y/F/N are really working hand in hand! Y/N, how do you feel about both of your fandoms understanding each other so good?” Jae Suk asks. Your head snaps up at Jae Suk. You are placed in front of BTS on a lower stool. “I think it's really important for fans to understand and like each other. We are all artists and wars between artists don't exist so fanwars shouldn't be a thing. And my fans always supported BTS, from day one I forced them to support my juniors” you laugh and nod as Jae Suk is satisfied with your answer. Namjoon pats your shoulder in approval.

“I'll go and put the dress on real quick” you say as you leave to your dressing spot again. the camera stays with boys as you dress. “It's such an honor to perform with Y/N- noona. We visited her concerts since our trainee days, so it gives off such a nice feeling!” Hoseok tells the camera. “I always stayed up late to watch her performances on TV.” Taehyung smiles, remembering. The camera pants as Taehyung's face lights up in your direction. Huh? Something caught V’s attention There you stand in a big sparkly white dress. It's massive and absolutely stunning, bur nothing for dancing.

“I'll stay with the two piece” you say almost pouting.

“The dress is so pretty, why didn't you chose it?” Jo Kwon asks. You nod “First, it's not convenient for the performance. I can't dance and the boys would have to take too much caution to not step onto the dress and secondly, I don't wear dresses on stage anyways. They are inconvenient and uncomfortable.” Jo Kwon nods. “And you guys? Did you prefer the first or second outfit?” Yoongi speaks up first. “The first one was better in my opinion because the sparkling jacket fits Y/N’s outfit better” you nod.

“Next thing is the studio! You guys need to work on your mama performance” Your manager-unnie interrupts your discussions on the stage outfits. “I'll just change back” The boys go their changing spot to get changed.

There they go the cameraman stands there lonely waiting for someone to return. You come back out waiting a pair of jeans and a big yellow hoodie. You approach the camera with a smile Look, the sun is so close and a lighting effect adds to it. “Look! This is from Hoseok's merch” you point at your beanie. The camerawoman nods lightly and you give him a thumbs up.

The boys gather too and their manager escorts you all to the studios. Hoseok slings an arm around your shoulder and talks to you about his hoodie while the camera focuses on Namjoon and Jungkook testing their english skills.

a joyful mess

Taehyung opens the big door which leads up to the studios and you all pass through. “Let's go into mine” you announce and Jungkook gets excited. Not a lot of people spend time in your studio since you like to work alone.

You fish out your key and unlock the door. You stay back and let them go inside to make sure to hold the door for the cameraman She's so lovely

“Please, seat yourself” the boys follow your instructions. You pull two spare chairs forward so that the cameraman is able to sit down. “Is this the new sound system?” Yoongi asks as he inspects the new speakers gracing your table. “Yes, I got them about two weeks ago” he nods and sits himself down on the second chair. “I'll just log myself in and then we can start to work on the remix” you update the others. Yoongi then opens the program and sets everything up as he offered you to do so. You turn around and leave on your small fridge A small fridge? What could be inside? You squat down and take a bottle of orange juice out. The boys follow your movements and you chuckle “You can take something to drink as well!” Jungkook is fast to charge towards the fridge. Who wouldn't like a drink from Y/N’s fridge?

“That's so cute, a small fridge. Do you really need a fridge in your studio or is just some kind of luxury?” Jae Suk asks and you shake your head “It's a necessity, i spend most of my time in the studio so having a fridge in there to store some food is very important to me” Jo Kwon turns to you with a questioning look “Really? How much time do you spend in your studio?” you nod with a small chuckle. “I spend almost all of the time I'm not somewhere else in my studio. The average work time is about 40 hours a week, right? Mh, so i would come up to I don't know 60 or 70 when I have a lazy week. A week where I have performances or TV show appearances would be around 40 and I would sleep in the studio, the couch is actually able to be made into a bed! But to my defence, I'm not the only one who practically lives at the studio!” you laugh. “But 70 hours are almost 3 days. That's a lot!” Jae Suk gasps. “Who spends as much time as you?” you halt for a second but laugh slightly “Min Yoongi does” Yoongi chuckles behind you. “That's true, sometimes we leave the studio together at like very very early in the morning” he explains.

You sit back down and Yoongi explains how he wants the remix to be. The frame moves to Jungkook and Jimin who inspect your trophies. “Y/N, the last time I was in here you had two grammys, you won more?” you turn around and laugh “Yeah, some months ago!” he looks at you unbelieving. The cameraman comes closer to the boys and films them a little. “Look! A American music award and a Bambi!” Jimin points at the awards. Then Jungkook reads out a paper which laid next to a picture of them with you on The Show. “This spot goes to my brother group bts who had their first win and won against me on The Show. Let this relationship be strong and filled with love.” You always loved your juniors. The moment they announcement a new group was going to debut you felt like a mother. You took them out for food, bought them gifts and took them to your practices and studio sessions.

The frame shifts to you, Yoongi and Namjoon discussing the remix. “Let me add something. Maybe some vocals can make it better” You leave your seat and get a mic you quickly connect to your system. The remix connects several songs from the both of you. “Let it play and I'll find my way in” you tell Yoongi and he nods. sea starts to play and you know the lyrics, it's written into your soul. You add runs and highlight lines. You even add a high note at the end, it's not to loud and not to silent, it fits in perfectly. Such angelic sounds

“That was mesmerising” Namjoon says silently. You smile and thank him in the same volume.

“Y/N! That was so pretty. The harmonies!” Jo Kwon nudges you and you laugh “How do you guys feel about Y/N adding her touch to your song?” Jin answers faster than anyone “I was taken aback to be honest. Y/N-ah has this ability to make any piece of music she touches a great song. I thought I was a great singer but Y/N is something else” he rants his mind. You are close to tears. You stand up and turn around to give Jin a hug. “That's one of the nicest things someone ever said to me” he takes your hug with a wide smile. “Ah, Y/N. Were you that touched?” you smile ad Jae Suk “I get a lot of complements but I know that they mean it.”

Yoongi puts the song together and a fifteen minute remix is the end product. “That's it! It's great!” you smile and Yoongi nods. “Let's send it to the ceo-office” you tell Yoongi and he's on it.

Then you text your manager-unnie that you're finished and a text back comes almost immediately. Good, come to the head office. You need to sign stuff and take photos for your fansign the frame shifts to you as you text Who is Y/N texting so concentrated?

“My manager-unnie just texted me that I have to take some photos and sign some stuff. You can stay here until I come back!” Jungkook says yes and sits himself down on your spot “Can we listen to some music?” you turn back around and nod “But don't spoil my album!” he chuckles and denies “Never”

The frame stays on the boys as you leave. Jungkook sits at the computer experimenting with the sound system. He logs into youtube and plays some of you older songs jamming to them. Namjoon, Jin and Hoseok are now looking at your awards. “Jin-Hyung, look at this” he points at the little spot a photo and a piece of paper are placed. This spot goes to my brother group bts who won had their first win and won against me on The Show. Let this relationship be strong and filled with love. "That's the cutest thing ever” Hoseok smiles at Namjoon.

The next frame is you strolling towards the signing spot. Look at the beauty arriving floats across the screen as the scene slows down.

“With what should I start?” you ask and a woman gives you cards to sign. Then your phone vibrates and Namjoons name graces your display “Namjoon-ah! What's up?” you hold your phone to your ear. “We have to leave for a short while, but we don't have a key” you chuckle “Just use the electric lock on the outside. Yoongi should know the code” he laughs too and you end the call. “This is going to be very boring for you! I'm just signing this stuff” the cameraman slightly shakes the camera.

“Signing seems very boring, how often do you have to do something like that?” you think or a moment. “All the time actually, when I'm having promotions, fansigns, special events, tours. I'm signing all the time” you laugh. “But the boys actually have a lot more to do. They don't stop their tours actually. They just finished their love yourself tour and soon they are going to start their map of persona tour so, I shouldn't be complaining” you chuckle. “Actually Y/N is lying. She stays in the studio and the dance practice rooms all the time. She finished her world tour last year and has performances almost every day ever since.” You almost scream “Shut Up! You've been working harder” Namjoon laughs and grasps your shoulder “Y/N-noona, YOU WORK HARDER” you grit your teeth “If you don't shut your mouth I will show you what hard work is. I hate you” you whisper after you laugh out loud. “Does this normally happen?” Jo Kwon asks the other boys and you chuckle. “All the time, it's a continuous fight over affection” Jin explains.

The frame switches to the boys leaving your studio and Yoongi typing in the code. The door closes with a small click and they leave. “What are you going to do now?” The cameraman asks the leaving group of young men. “We are going to have dinner at a good restaurant.” Jin smiles. Dinner sounds about right at the moment.

The camera focuses on Yoongi and Hoseok who are strolling next to each other. “I'm so hungry! I'm so excited for the food” Hoseok encourages Yoongi to talk as well. He just nods “We’ll bring Y/N something” is all he says. Such a healthy friendship

“Getting food for each other is a common thing, right?” Jae Suk asks. You nod “Especially with us, we usually take food with us in case someone needs something or gets hungry while we work. Or we take something with us when we know that someone stays late. I always take something with me in case they stay late for practice otherwise I can eat it the next day” Jae Suk nods “Looking after one another is very important, so we buy each other a lot to eat” Namjoon adds.

You are now standing on a little podium in a jumpsuit, heels and your album in your hands posing for the fansign posters. In the back your title track is playing to not make the shoot as boring as it may could be. “Now squad down for me” the photographer instructs you and you follow suit. “That's it! Great!” he shouts and a smile makes its way onto your face “Any song requests?” you head snaps towards the staff and you raise your hand “euphoria by jungkook please” in your opinion it's the perfect song. It has the exact vibe you want right now. The song fills the room and you couldn't be more happy.

The frame switches to bts arriving at the restaurant. They get a table at the back of the restaurant to prevent the place of getting mobbed. As they give up their orders Jimin proceeds to check the social medias. “kook, look” he gives Jungkook his phone to show him a article which was released about ten minutes ago.

Solo artist Y/N enjoying photoshoot with her juniors music

About twenty minutes ago the grammy winning solo artist Y/N, the heart of korea, posted a rather cute video of herself enjoying the photoshoot for her fansign in two weeks. The song ‘Euphoria by BTS’s Jungkook’ made her so happy that she eagerly requested it in the first place. Such a friendship is something to be jealous about.

Jungkook smiles from ear to ear. He watches you shooting your arm in the air and asking for his song. And then happy dancing around, hitting poses to the beat. He gives Jimin his phone back and proceeds to eat his food.

They finish eating and get your favourite food packed up.

“Great! That's a wrap! good work everyone” the photographer announces. You clap once and jump down from the podium leaving to a spot you can change at. The cameraman waits in front of the spacer. “Let's get going” you smile at the cameraman and he follows you silently. As you step into the elevator your encourage a conversation “Lately I've really been into riverdale, which shows do you like to watch?” the man points his camera at you leaving his face covered, still you can tell he's thinking of an answer. “Goblin Slayer” you think for a second “That's a anime, right? I've heard of that?” he nods and you smile “I think Jungkook told me about it. It's supposed to be very good” he nods.

The door opens with a ding and you leave to the main entrance as your phone vibrates. “Yoongi-ah!” he hums “We are at the company, are you home yet?” “Nope, I was about to leave. Let me give you a ride home” he hums “That would be nice, we’ll meet you in the parking lot”

You take the left door to enter the parking lot. With fast steps you walk to the group of seven men standing in front of your car.

“Noona” Jungkook sees you first and rips a plastic bag out of Yoongi’s grip. “We had dinner and brought you something” your face lights up and you give him a hug “Thank you”

You turn around and thank the cameraman for his work because there won't be any need for him anymore. “Let's get going” you say as you unlock the car.

You start the car as soon as everyone is settled. “So where did you go eat?” you ask as you pull out of the parking lot. “The Lucky Charms in downtown seoul” Yoongi answers and you nod “Thank you for bringing me something, I wouldn't have been able to make myself something, knowing how lazy I am” the radio is very quiet as you talk “How was your photoshoot?” Hoseok asks and you smile widely knowing they must've seen the post. “Oh it wa-YAHH” You stop the car abruptly. The camera captures your pissed off face. What is happening outside of the car.

In your anger you stop the car and get out to shout at the other driver. The only thing there is able to be seen or heard is the other boys getting out of the car as well to bring you back in. There you sit, pissed off starting the car again.

“What happened there, Y/N?” you think back “Well I wanted to change lanes to leave the main street to their dormitory but there was a person who decided to change onto my lane without flashing. I got really angry and was about to let it out on the other driver but they got me back into the car” Jae Suk nods “That can be very annoying right?” Namjoon continues “Especially when you can't shout at someone because they might know you. It could damage your image”

"What I wanted to say was, I liked my shoot very much. The photographer was great and tell posters cake out amazing. How was your dinner?" Hoseok on your right nods as he turns his face to you again "We had a blast. The food is always so good there" you smile and nod. "Thanks again for taking some with you. I didn't know I graved their food" He nods and takes out his phone.

The car ride is silent, just Taehyung and Jungkook chatting a little, as you pull into the apartment complex their penthouse is located at you wake Jin and Namjoon. "Here we are sleepy heads" you laugh. "Thank you for driving us home" Namjoon pats your shoulder as he leaves the car. "No big deal, go to sleep and rest!" you smile. The boys leave and you pull out of their drive in.

With a cute filter and boy in luv playing in the back the end of the episode emerges. Check out next week's episode to see Y/N and BTS master a vlive collaboration and don't forget to tune in for the "the boss is watching" special episode! Until then, bye army & y/f/n. Take care

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slothgiirl · 5 years ago

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forever isn’t for everyone (is forever for you) part 8

We hit the ground running and there's no time to be awkward around Alex. Not when I'm always rushing about, trying to confirm and pin down people and rushing into the bus after a show.

The states are huge. With long distances to cover between shows, the scenery passing us by in the dark. Ben’s knowledge of it all comes in handy, leading us to our if the way places with good food and he keeps the drinks coming.

I barely get a chance to realize I'm in Canada before we're getting back on the tour bus and it's not long before I'm taking a drag from the joints that get liberally passed around out of sheer boredom.

There's only so much to do on the road, couped up in a bus with a bunch of techies. Lucy laughs at my sad attempts to play blackjack and I can only laugh along with her.

It's a good thing that there's two tour buses. I don't think I could stand to be couped up with Alex. If he wanted to avoid me then I'd do him a favor and avoid him as well. My gaze passing over him as all of us sat down late at night as we pulled into New York city, a free day from a concert but a press day all the same.

Jaime finds out from Lucy that I'm terrible at blackjack and grins as he wins american bills from me, laughing easily, Miles taking the blunt of the attention off of a band that hates all the bells and whistles that come along with being successful. "aren't you supposed to be good with money," he jokes as he wins for the fourth time in a row as we wrap up a shoot, the sun having set while we spent the day with the press.

I was starving. Fruit platters were not enough. I giggle, "that's not all economics is! and it's a card game. Not my fault i'm still getting the hang of it."

"You didn't play it at uni," Nick asks with a grin, having successfully extracted a number off the shoots stylist.

"No. At least I didn't. I was too busy getting a degree unlike some people I know," I reply looking at them both meaningfully. We'd settled in with each other easily by now.

Jamie shrugs shamelessly, "rather be a rockstar than have to go to uni."

" 'fink I would've dropped out," Nick muses.

"We'll see who has the last laugh when your on some reality show for washes up rock stars in ten years," I retort back with a grin.

"That soon," Nick snorts. "Give us at least twenty years."

The famous skyline passes by us as we head out to meet the others and we never steal a glimpse at the statue of liberty before were hauling ass to Detroit and a plethora of other cities never mentioned in movies.

And if I can sometimes feel Alex's stare on me, I force myself to ignore it, losing myself in the drinks and Lucy rambling on about one of her many pet peeves. Tonight's being the fact that men are disgusting and can't keep anything clean and would it kill them to keep their dirty clothes off the floor, "I swear I can't even see the tour bus floor anymore!"

"It'll get better when we do laundry," I offer before she's off again. Laundry won't get done until we leave for the first european leg. There's no breaks in between.

Mum complains that I'll miss my sisters eighteenth birthday but it can't be helped. Hopefully all the trinkets I've been collecting from tour will make up for it once I send the package before it fills up all my suitcase.

In the blink of an eye, we're in Salt lake City, having made our way across the country in a way I could've only dreamed of and I know I made the right choice when I took the job.

"Told you you'd fall into it," Ben utters, wrapping an arm around me with a carefree smile before he's off giving directions and tell some techie to load up on alcohol because their weird about it in Utah.

I shake my head.

"He's right though isn't he," Lucy grins, a joint in hand and Miles beside her, bits of glitter from yesterday's show still stuck on his skin.The sunset just makes the panorama look even more gorgeous that it is. The mountains in the distance and the intensity of the green surrounding us.

"Yeah Ellie," Miles grins, charming as ever, "bet those wankers who took on," he pretends to straighten up a tie, "very proper jobs are about ready to knell over and die."

I snort, taking a drag of the joint. Oh what my parents would say if they knew how much weed and alcohol I'd been having lately. I might have not done much in uni but I was more than making up for it now. "

Hey they get bank holidays," I joke, running a hand through my hair and wondering if this was the kind of panorama all those english romantics had been on about, "meanwhile I have to put up with your ugly mug!"

"Oi," Miles grins back sharply, "NME called me an indie dreamboat."

"Lucy must have bribed them."

Lucy throws her head back, bursting into laughter, "come on I'm starving and Ben said there's a mexican place with bottomless mimosas today since they don't sell alcohol on sundays."

"What the fuck," Miles shouts, before shaking his head, "this is why no one likes americans."

As promised there are bottomless mimosas which Miles plows his way threw with glee. The techies are already at the venue, having an early start the next day. The grueling schedule means no nice hotels and I miss the meandering pace we had down under.

Jamie doesn't let the lack of dance floor stop him roping Lucy along, our group causing a ruckus between the food and drinks and Miles being Miles, clamping Matt on the back as he shares stories that have to be wildly exaggerated.

There's just no way he'd had a threesome with Jack and Meg White not matter how loudly he said it was true as Matt kept rolling his eyes.

I drink and flint in and out of the conversation, the lion share of my work having been finished on the bus. Watching as Matt sneaks off with a pretty girl.

We were technically supposed to stop any of that monkey business before a concert, but Matt was good about making his way back unlike Miles who'd we'd lost in Montreal, the language barrier not helping.

It had been Alex who'd found him in the end, playing with some street musicians.

Alex joins in, playing along with Miles as they both get completely trashed, Miles glomping onto Alex's side like a damsel in distress while Alex laughs.

Despite what's happened between us, I still find myself stealing glances when I can, when the rooms dark and he's not holed up on the bands bus, waking up late in the day and dominating Miles attention.

As if he could hear my thoughts, Alex looks over at me catching my gaze, his eyes still holding the same warmth of a hot cuppa in winter.

I look away, letting Lucy pull me along with her and Jamie who's gone ruddy red as he dances badly. It's all the push I need to dance with them.

Tomorrow I'd have a killer hangover, but tonight Lucy and Jamie were both mouthing along to Poker Face and that was too good not to get caught up in.

#Alex Turner #alex turner fanfic #alex turner imagine #alex turner x reader #forever isn't for everyone

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justasparkwritings · 4 years ago

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Codename Cupid: Chapter 16

Previous: How Cricket Got Her Name

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook X Reader/OFC/You

Genre: Secret AgentAU, AgentAU, Government Agent AU

Rating: PG15

Word Count: 3.04K

Warnings: Swearing

Summary: Our lovely P.I. goes on the search for Min Yoongi, and stumbles into the identity of the mystery man with Taehyung.

(this is... rough? did not expect it to be so long...)

Missing Min Yoongi

Present Day

My sister always tells me she’s given me all she can, that she can’t help me past my one favor a year. It’s a ploy, a deception, a boldfaced lie she tells at work or anytime we’re in earshot of anyone else. Does she misuse her government clearance? Yes. Does she defy laws and challenge the ethical code? Yes. Has she ever gotten caught? No. You’d think the government would put more tabs on her, considering her sister is a registered and licensed PI, but no, no one seems to bat an eye.

Min Yoongi, Park Yoongi, Yoongi, is nonexistent. I barely understand what he did at Lee Enterprises, let alone how he ended up bedding Euna. He supposedly comes from no money, no name to build off of, nothing. His grades were fine, his college experience came and went with nary a note of youthful rebellion. Now, now that he’s no longer at Enterprises, I cannot fucking find him. Nothing on the web, nothing in the statewide system, nothing in the national system. No death certificates, no marriage licenses, nothing.

All I’ve got are his charges, well, Euna’s charges against him.

Cheating in the 1st degree, no proof, no photos or receipts or basic evidence of his behavior. She had nothing but her recollection of the fight they had, and minimal information on what led to the break up. From her manifesto, it seems that Yoongi was pulling away and she clung to him, claws drawing blood, trying to get him to stay. He didn’t, clearly. With only that to go off of, it’s no wonder I can’t find Min Yoongi, and I’m beginning to think that just maybe, Min Yoongi doesn’t exist. He’s her Snuffleupagus, and I’m starting to not believe.

While I’m unsure if Yoongi exists, I do know a person who does.

The man with Taehyung.

Spectacled and broad shouldered, quaffed hair and arms the size of tree trunks, this man exists. He goes to the gym regularly, religiously, makes his coffee at home, and frequents his local nursery. The man is obsessed with plants, it seems unhealthy. Multiple days a week he’s carrying one, or more, I have photos of him watering them, speaking to them… He tends to them with such care, such love, it’s mesmerizing. He goes to work, some corporation, and once a week meets Taehyung. They’re clearly pals, best friends, brothers. They laugh and eat and enjoy one another. It’s cute, their friendship date. Once in a while, Jimin joins them. The three laugh uproariously and often draw attention for their volume. The unidentified man doesn’t seem to understand how loud he is, his baritone resonating enough for me to hear.

I haven’t intentionally bumped into the three of them, yet, but I’ve stationed myself near enough to hear bits and pieces of their conversations. They never discuss work, only music they’re listening to, books they’re reading, podcasts, plants, general culture. Have I written down a few of the artists and podcasts they listen to? Yes. Do I feel dirty about it? Yes.

But it’s the job, and I tail them for a month before a package arrives. A package with my name on it, waiting outside my apartment door. It’s not addressed, no stamps or packing label. It’s new, not reused as a shipping box or gifted for the umpteenth time, no dingy tape sticking to its brown coating. The box is sitting, like it’s appeared out of thin air. A secure building is only as secure as the tenants make it, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the owner snuck in behind some dummy who didn’t see the harm in letting a potential rapist, stalker, murder, into the building. Taking the package inside, and as my blood continues to cool and chills run down my spine, I delicately open it.

I know, it could be a bomb. However, the only thought calming me down is the knowledge that my life has never once been a Shonda Rhimes production and thus, I’m not really worried this package is a bomb. Frankly, that’s far more sophisticated than any of the people I’ve worked for and gives them too much credit.

Inside, there are copious amounts of surveillance photos and a note, written in a script that I’ve seen before.

“That was your last warning / The line has been drawn and you’re bleeding / Next time, face to face is how we’ll be meeting”

Whoever heard of a stalker rhyming?

I bag the evidence to toss under my bed so Jungkook won’t find it and pull out my list of potential threats.

Check It Once, Check It Twice

William Daniels

Cheated on his wife of 5 years with a stewardess who flew almost exclusively on his flights (big shock)

Threatened to ban me from American Airlines - Jokes on him, I don’t fly American

Photos in the act & audio recordings

Wife divorced him immediately

He has to pay alimony out the nose

Lives in the area

Allanah McMahon

Arrested and tried for insider trading and embezzlement

Discovered who I was when I was subpoenaed to testify

Still in jail

My testimony added a few years to her sentence … oops

Cassie Harrington

Set up a Multi-Level Marketing scheme

Tried to hide out in Hawaii – but changed her Instagram to private after I’d already followed her

Ordered to pay back all the money she stole

On parole

Adam Gregory

Tried to run an illegal adoption agency for homosexual, non binary couples

Paid a fine and on parole – forbidden from creating any LLC’s or Incorporating

Brian Welch

Pissed that I found evidence of his partner cheating but turned him in on charges of possession of child pornography

In jail for kiddy porn and for threatening my life

His husband got everything despite the infidelity

You acquire quite detailed list of people who want to threaten your life on the daily, but then again, wasn’t it Audre Lorde who said “I’m deliberate and afraid of nothing?” I can’t be afraid. If I’m afraid, they have the power. They have the power to intimidate me, to run my life for me, to make my decisions. I will not back down because they got caught. But I will protect myself, I will keep my license for my gun up and go to the shooting range often. I will strengthen the locks and security of my apartment, and I will ask Jungkook to stay over more, or sleep at his.

I will not back down, not when Lee Euna has paid me what seems like the cost of tuition at Princeton for a year and wants answers. We signed a contract, didn’t we?

And who am I if my word is no longer worth anything?

Instead of harping on the sickening feeling that I’m being watched 24/7, I run through my plans for bumping into Taehyung and his friends. In the weeks that I’ve continued to follow him, he’s solidified Wednesday’s as his night for dinner with friends, and Thursdays as his cultural exploration. He goes to museum openings, concerts, movies, plays, clubs, all on Thursdays. While those nights are fun for me to watch and put on my expense account, it’s Wednesdays that I adore. I love following him from his house to the restaurants and am excited each week to see what he and his friends have chosen.

This week, it’s an authentic Mexican restaurant. Slipping my coat on, I give them a few minutes before following in.

The sound of mariachi welcomes me into the yellow painted restaurant. The furniture, dark mahogany against the vibrant walls, is full of people. I note the variety of sombreros, the different colors and patterns, the meanings hidden within the stitchwork. It’s not a large restaurant, but big enough to fit a few large groups of 7-10 people, and plenty of space for smaller groups such as the three men. The hostess asks if I want to sit at the bar, and I request a table near the men. Sitting a few feet away, I’m able to pick up their conversation easily. Instead of jotting it down, I hit record and let the metaphorical tape play.

“Oh, it wasn’t that bad!” The mystery man says.

“It was awful, Taehyungie couldn’t stop laughing, every time he hit the ball it went flying in the wrong direction,” Jimin says.

“I was trying so hard!” Taehyung laughed.

“That’s the problem, you were trying too hard,” The man tells him. “You’re too pure of heart.”

“I am not,” Taehyung shook his head.

“I know, you’ve experienced a lot, Tae,” Jimin says.

“Joon, here’s the question,” Taehyung says, and I’m momentarily distracted by the utterance of the name, Joon. “You get to pick next week, we heading back to that barbeque place?”

Jimin erupts in another fit of laughter, Taehyung following suit. It’s cute, watching them interact. I wonder if Jungkook has friends he does things like this with… those nights we aren’t together, if he has friends to spend his time with.

I wait until they’ve left to take a glance at the signed bill on their table, Taehyung Kim is scribbled, no evidence of the other men, and I’m about to bag evidence when I hear my name.

“Y/N?” Taehyung asks.

“Taehyung! That was you!” I smile.

“Have you been here the whole time?” Taehyung’s eyebrows express more than anyone’s I’ve ever seen.

“I, yeah. I wasn’t sure it was you and Jimin. I didn’t want to interrupt,” I tell him.

“Oh, you could’ve! Don’t worry about them, we’ve been friends a long time,” Taehyung smiles, it’s boxy and wide, the edges curling as his eyes soften.

I’ve already started my dance, a waltz to an even tempo and I’ve got the next five paces planned. “Who was that new guy?”

“Why, you single?” Taehyung smirks, his lips no longer joyful but devious.

“I just was curious,” I reply, “And no, I’m not single, remember?”

“Oh yes, yes, Jungkook,” Taehyung recalls with a nod.

“You, Jimin and that other guy, go way back?” I lead him, it’s easy to lead Taehyung, he’s pure of heart, the most honest intentions in his eyes.

“Mm, yes,” He continues smiling at me.

“Your dinner looked fun, I’ll definitely be coming back to this place,” I tell him. It’s true, maybe I will bring Jungkook by one night when I know these three men won’t be around.

“Yeah, we like it. We try a new restaurant every week. It’s a fun no work zone,” His arms are relaxed at his sides, one hand slipping slowly into his pocket, his cardigan open and glasses pressed close to his ebony eyes.

“I like that, no work zone,” I agree, I wish I had one of those.

“Yes, it helps clear the mind,” Taehyung tells me.

“Do the three of you work together?” I inquire.

“Kind of, we have a lot of the same shared interests,” he sidesteps.

I nod, the final step in our dance presenting itself. “Very cool, well I don’t want to keep you from Jimin and –

“Joon, yeah, very considerate of you. Maybe I’ll see you at the dog park again?” He asks.

“Oh god, I hope not, Maisie is a nightmare,” I laugh.

“Well have a good night, Y/N, take care!” He says as he walks out the door. I stand, watching, pretending to not notice how he gets in the car swiftly, not looking back.

Joon.

What kind of a name is Joon? If Taehyung and Jimin, and Jungkook, and Seokjin… and Yoongi, are all Korean, must Joon be short for something Korean?

Glancing at my phone, it’s only 8:30PM, if I hurry, I can get in another few hours of work before I’m overcome with exhaustion and anxiety. But what will I find?

Oh Joon

Kim Joon

Lee Joon

Joon-Ho

Joon-Hee

Joon-Hyuk

Joon-Ki

Joon-Tae

Joon-Young

Byung-Joon

Ha-Joon

Hee-Joon

Hyung-Joon

Jae-Joon

Kyung-Joon

Jae-Joon

Kyung-Joon

Yong-Joon

Nam-Joon

Joon-Su

Ye-Joon

Not to mention add in the top 5 Korean last names, and I’ve got hundreds of possibilities. Luckily, I can run the name against the address of the apartment building Taehyung picked Joon up from. Being a PI means I have access to the state databases, which gives me names and addresses. In the building, there’s one Joon, a Namjoon, Kim Namjoon. I pull the information before digging into my search.

Unlike the seemingly nonexistence of Min Yoongi, Kim Namjoon is present. Every search result yields a perfectly manicured article dating anywhere from the year of his birth to age sixteen, and then, much like everyone else on this case, the trail begins to run cold. Whatever happened to him during high school, still radiates through his file. Whether he’s shaken it or not, that’s the question.

No known career or job at all, his status as a prodigy in math, linguistics and rhetoric is astonishing. One of the highest IQ’s of recent memory, he’d mastered calculus by the time he was 8, besting PhD’s by 13, and then in a blaze of glory, disappearing by 16. He was studied, written about, documented, photographed, and somehow managed to be nominated for a Nobel Prize… how he accomplished all of that during puberty is beyond me. Not only does he accomplish that, but then, disappears completely, without a trace. How?

I’m ready to pack it in when someone steps into my office.

“I saw the light on,” She says.

“Ms. Lee, what do I owe this surprise visit?” I ask. This is the exact opposite of what I wanted to do tonight.

“I wanted to, to talk to you,” She takes a few steps forward, pausing to ask for unspoken permission.

“Please, sit. What did you want to talk to me about?” I lean back, hoping she can’t see the bags forming under my eyes or the tears from the yawn I’m stifling.

“I wanted to tell you about, about why I need you to find Min Yoongi,” Euna informs me. She’s dressed in what can only be described as winter white, and only as a cashmere sweatsuit. Never have I ever seen such glamor in my dingy office. I feel bad that she’s risking the integrity of her outfit by being here.

“Oh, okay,” I sit up and reach for a notebook. “Do you want me to write this down?”

“No, you don’t need to. We can just talk between women, between friends,” Euna’s voice is soft. The slack in her jaw, the demur manner in which her hands are placed on her lap, it’s evident she doesn’t know how to be girlfriends. Raised by her family, groomed to take over, friends was never a word in her vocabulary.

“I wanted you to know that I really saw a future with Yoongi,” She starts. “You know that place in your heart where you hold all your hopes?”

“Yes,” I say hesitantly.

Her eyes narrow in warning, “Do you have someone, someone who’s beginning to fill that space?”

“Um, yeah,” I reply.

“I thought that’s what Yoongi was. I thought we were, we were building something. Jun-Seo had Jimin, they thought they were building an illustrious future together, but one day he disappeared too.” She pinches the slight bridge of her nose, inhaling slowly to steady her nerves. “I don’t know what changed in our relationship. Yoongi didn’t want me anymore, he didn’t want to be around me, or with me at all. A switch flipped, like one day he realized he didn’t love me in the first place. I don’t know what happened, I don’t know why, but when your entire future is destroyed, do you stand back and watch it burn?”

“Do you want me to answer that?” I ask.

“Sure, what I did after that was terrible, but it was within reason. Everything I did was within reason. I tried to hold onto him, I did what I thought was right to get him to stay and he just, ran. Bolted, broke up with me on the phone like I’m Taylor Swift in 2012. Maybe I am,” Euna rolls her eyes, the comparison both too true and too terrifying. “At least Seokjin had the kindness to break up with me in person. But Yoongi? The coward! He knew I loved him. He knew I would carry his child, would marry him, would love him eternally and then some. I would’ve done anything for him. Even after he refused to go family dinners or go on trips with Seo and Jimin, after he started lying and cheating and stealing. He broke my heart, shattered it. If anyone is to blame for what happened after our relationship, it’s him.”

Interested peaked, I inquire “What happened?”

“It’s in my document,” She snaps.

“The handwritten one?” I clarify.

Rolling her delicate ebony irises, “Yes, of course.”

“The abortion, the embezzlement, insider trading?” I try to rattle off the accusations she’d detailed. Somewhere I had a list and had sorted them by man, but damn, there were a lot of them.

“Yes,” She snips.

“That’s all true?” I ask again. The look she gives me is unwarranted, this is the first time in months, nearly a year, that she has sat down with me and discussed the charges. I am well within my right as her Private Investigator to ask clarifying questions.

“Do you make a conscious decision to not believe your clients? Am I not paying you enough Y/N?” Euna snaps.

“I’m sorry,” I respond.

“I should go, I expect next week at our meeting you will have an update on the mystery man,” She stands.

“Yes, yes, I will,”

“Good, oh, there was a note under your door. I didn’t pick it up,” She turns and walks, stepping gingerly over the note. Scrambling behind her, I pick up the folded paper, and scrawled in crystal clear letters it reads:

Cricket, was driving past when I saw the light on. Why are you working? Come to mine when you’re done, it’s been three restless nights without you.

XO – Bunny

Fuck me, I love him.

Next: Cricket & Bunny Pt. 1

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