#and then its 'oh no not like that hes too problematic'

[ideasnstuff]

solitude

chuuya angst on its finest

Enjoy!

Nakahara Chuuya had just returned from an overseas mission. For three and long months.

Although it hadn’t been an exactly problematic mission, it certainly had been a tedious one.

Chuuya was rarely sent abroad by the boss, but he was not someone to question.

Usually, he never had the inclination to question or contest his Boss' orders. After all, he was only meant—only expected—to follow them, without saying anything.

Besides, it was not that bad. Chuuya knew that Mori had the organization's best interests at heart.

When the man brought the subject to light, he simply nodded and bowed. The next day, he left Yokohama.

And at first, it had been a completely new setup.

There, Chuuya was not meant to kill, punch, or fight against anyone.

No.

His only tool was words, and the battlefield was a tedious conference room.

It was beyond boring, but he knew it was necessary.

Eventually, he learned.

He learned to be a diplomat and represent the Port Mafia.

Back then, before he left, his partner had told him that much.

He had also mocked Chuuya because he was sure he was unable to do anything but “bark” and “punch.”

Well, Chuuya proudly proved Dazai wrong.

There, a diplomat was born—a former fighter, now representing the Port Mafia.

And all of this had happened between alcohol, a few laughs, and insults.

Although Dazai's opinion on that had been clear, "Ugh, who am I going to annoy if Chuuya is not here?!"

It may have been his way of saying that he would miss Chuuya, but it's not that Chuuya noticed it—he was way too drunk by that time.

So, he simply grumbled, "Go bother someone else then."

"Buahhh, that's so rude!" Dazai whined with his annoying high-pitched voice. He almost pouted like a child. "Then I hope Chuuya’ll die there, so I will never have to see his face!"

And Chuuya was probably too drunk to answer anything back.

After this exchange, everything was a blur. He didn't remember anything about that night.

And this scene filled his thoughts when he returned to the Mafia building, with the intent to report his mission.

As he walked down the hall toward the boss' office, he wondered about what Mori's reaction would be like.

Chuuya was aware he had learned quite a lot during those months, especially when the country he had been in was France.

He had a whole meticulously planned and written report. Perhaps his good mood was related to it.

He was more than certain he'd be promoted to executive after this.

And the best part?

He'd finally read the documents about his past.

Lost in thoughts that he almost instantaneously had dismissed, he stopped in front of the door that gave access to Mori's office.

Then, two confident knocks were heard.

A melody reverberated after a brief and lingering silence.

"You may enter," the soft but cold voice like ice said.

He carefully opened the door and stepped in, bowing respectfully as he usually did.

In his hand lay the documents.

"Welcome back, Chuuya-kun." Mori talked with his elbows pressed against the table and his fingers intertwined, displaying a sluggish and uncharacteristic smile on his lips. "I hope you have good news for me."

Chuuya raised his head as his expression went rigid and serious.

After some time, he nodded. "Boss," he bowed once again, but this time it was just a slight one. "I have the report here," he lifted the papers slightly.

Mori didn't react as his eyes sharply hovered over his subordinate.

He didn't say anything for a while, and Chuuya didn’t move either.

"Oh well! You may leave them here," he nodded towards the desk. As Chuuya walked firmly toward it, putting the reports there in a gentle move, Mori watched it with a thoughtful expression. "I think you know what comes after, don't you, Chuuya-kun?"

Chuuya looked at Mori with an emotionless expression.

Mori continued, taking his subordinate’s silence as a consent to speak, “As the leader of this organization, I am forced to admit that you've become an extremely important asset to the Mafia.” his tone sounded exactly like a lullaby— but if one would ever fall asleep, one might, would never wake up. Mori smiled a little more openly and genuinely. “But before anything, I need to discuss it with the other executives, as you may have calculated,” he gestured into the air—slow and fluid movements.

Chuuya's expression didn't change—he said nothing for a moment. "I understand, Boss."

Mori smiled. "I am certain everyone will agree with it, but... ahhh, you know how the bureaucracy around here is, right?"

The answer was silent, but it was there—written all over Chuuya's stormy and lively eyes.

The man gazed at the other for a while, seeming to irradiate with expectations that he wanted to see if they were true.

Yet, that didn't make Chuuya very nervous.He was more than used to Mori’s mechanisms, after all. After a while, straightening his posture, Mori gestured toward the door with his typical neutral expression.

"If there isn't anything you think I should be aware of, you are dismissed."

A bow and Chuuya left—unaware of Mori's slow and mysterious smile that appeared as soon as he had turned his heels to leave.

And an agreement between the executives was, in fact, quickly obtained.

Everyone knew that Chuuya had been essential to the Mafia—he and Dazai Osamu, but that was another story.

Normally, a promotion was just a piece of paper, but for some reason, Mori decided to give Chuuya something else.

Well, actually no. It had been two... no, three things.

Two of them were surprisingly pleasant, and Chuuya benefited from one of them.

The third one was given to him, in the worst time possible.

It had happened just after Chuuya had accessed the documents about his past. Those pages were possibly the worst thing Chuuya had ever laid his eyes on.

But although extremely perturbing, it hadn't been surprising—Dazai once had told him about it, as an act of forgiveness for some stupid and precipitated action he once had made.

Speaking about Dazai... Where was he?

As he was thinking about it, Kouyou entered the room, bringing in the mafia elegance and a certain pleasant smell—her perfume. Light steps echoed around him as the woman rested a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it.

"Congratulations, lad," she greeted, her voice calm and elegant like a violin solo. Then she quickly—but elegantly—retracted her hand from her pupil's shoulder as she walked towards an empty seat at the table.

Chuuya looked up at her with a respectful nod.

"Ane-san…" he smiled a little, "Thank you," he nodded.

Kouyou smiled back and then sighed.

"Mm. I heard the boss has been thinking about giving you something... special..."

Chuuya's heart was still heavy, and his mind was spinning from reading such cruel reports.

"Is that so..." he said with no enthusiasm; he paused and then looked at her. "Was everyone in agreement with my promotion?"

Kouyou lifted a hand to her pink mouth, seemingly thoughtful.

"If I remember correctly... yes... everyone was in agreement with your promotion," she smiled—almost a fraternal, proud smile. "I expected no less of you, lad."

Chuuya reciprocated the smile, but then he stopped.

Something was not making sense here.

Because he remembered what Dazai had told him when he became an executive.

"Well, being an executive has its perks, you know? I can always vote against Chuuya's promotion!"

Although it had been a joke, Chuuya—more than anyone—knew how far Dazai would go just to annoy him. He was certain that Dazai would vote against his promotion, just to annoy him, and not because he was against it.

After all, he had been the one giving him clues about those awful documents. He made Chuuya’s pain a little more… bearable, and that was something that Chuuya was thankful for—not that he would ever say it to Dazai.

So, there was no way that Dazai had voted for his promotion.

But just to clarify his doubt, he asked Kouyou for information.

"What about Dazai?" he asked, and Kouyou narrowed her eyes. "Did that bastard vote for my promotion?"

"Dazai-kun?" she asked, then paused, pressing her lips together. "Oh, Dazai-kun was not there to vote, so don't worry," Kouyou smiled.

That caught Chuuya off guard. He wasn’t in the mafia? How was that even possible?

Dazai didn’t make overseas missions as he was the Boss’ right hand. 

So why was he not in the meeting?

"Did that bastard skip the meeting?" Chuuya found himself wondering out loud.

Kouyou looked at him for a while, with a cautious expression.

Then she sighed. "In a way... yes," she said quietly; Chuuya narrowed his eyes.

"What?" he let out an incredulous laugh. "Did that bastard skip his obligations, again?" he half-smiled a bit, amused—as his partner, he was more than used to Dazai's irresponsible and indifferent behavior.

But still, Chuuya couldn’t believe the guy’s attitude—the disrespect. Plus, he lost a perfect chance to ruin Chuuya’s life, which was a bit unusual.

Kouyou stared at him with a doubtful expression—she was looking at him as if Chuuya was having a strange behavior. Inclusively, she even frowned with questions behind her eyes. 

But then her face became increasingly more understanding and almost... apprehensive. 

That was what surprised Chuuya—he waited a bit anxiously for her answer.

Then, it arrived.

"Chuuya, lad..." she sighed softly, closing her eyes with almost a sad expression. "Dazai-kun..." she paused. "Is not in the mafia... anymore."

And each word, each interval between them, felt like a slap.

Leave it to Kouyou to make everything emotional with her incredibly silk voice.

Time stopped, and so did Chuuya’s mind.

He wasn't able to answer it.

So, Kouyou, looking at him, sighed and explained.

"Yesterday he was declared a traitor," she informed, then paused to give Chuuya some time to process the information; she added, "He is not in the mafia anymore. That’s why he was not part of this meeting." her voice was gentle, like a silent apology.

And Chuuya… Chuuya… he couldn’t quite explain what he was feeling at that moment.

If someone would ever ask him what he was thinking, he'd… be silent.

Because… he didn’t know.

All he felt was something similar to emptiness.

Similar to the collapse of the wall that was being built.

Something similar to… pain.

Pain... he hadn’t felt that in a long time. But it was an old friend to him, a familiar sensation. He could recognize the sword that crossed his own heart anytime.

Kouyou didn’t speak anymore—probably in respect—and she gave Chuuya the intention of wanting to leave.

But before she had the chance to do it, he spoke for the first time.

Straight as a narrow.

"Oh. Is that so?" his voice was not trembling or anything, but his heart was emptier than he had remembered. "I wonder why I was not informed of."

Kouyou sighed in concordance. Slowly.

"The Boss thought it would be something that would trouble your performance, so he didn’t tell you," she said.

The next words were not thought nor planned.

They just flew out of his lips, like it had been a shot.

"Then, the Boss was wrong," he said firmly, making Kouyou widen her eyes. He looked directly at Kouyou. "The fact that Dazai is not here anymore doesn’t make things any different," he said, not leaving her gaze. "I’ll be the same as I always had been," Chuuya declared, and Kouyou looked surprised for a while. Then she glared at him, trying to find—perhaps—a lie or an act—but there were none.

Therefore, Kouyou, visibly relieved, raised her eyebrows.

"I see... I am glad you are not letting your emotions take control of your obligations," and she was being genuine.

Once more, Chuuya didn’t think before speaking.

"Why would I even care about Dazai leaving? He is nothing to me. He was my partner, but from the moment he betrayed this organization," he tried to control his anger, "he has lost that privilege, and he is no longer part of my life."

Despite his notable emotional control, Kouyou noticed how he stood up and pushed the chair—noisily.

She smiled neutrally, understanding the situation—but she didn’t say anything about it.

Chuuya, however, continued. "I have better things to do than to worry about traitors," he said, and bowed his head. "If you excuse me, Ane-san, I have something to do."

Kouyou smiled. At that point, she didn’t know who Chuuya was trying to fool—her or himself.

She cleared her throat, hiding a smile behind her sleeve.

"Of course, lad," she said. Nevertheless, "I look forward to working with you as an executive, Chuuya," she said softly.

And he just offered a plain smile, but grateful anyway.

"I feel the same, Ane-san."

After those words, he left and didn’t look back.

His mind was empty, and he didn’t think about Dazai or the fact that he had left the mafia during the whole course.

Chuuya was pretty sure he was not thinking about what he was doing, just walking without a destination.

Perhaps it had been his inner voice telling him to meet his past.

And for once, he followed it.

His heart was beating quickly with some anxiety as he walked down the stairs.

He felt like he was seeing his past before his eyes.

Memories that were lost for years were coming back.

The Port Mafia basement.

He was in front of it.

He was feeling nothing and thinking about nothing.

Dazai had left; he was a traitor.

Okay, that was fine for Chuuya.

He had always known Dazai's poor loyalty to the Mafia.

That was totally fine with him, so... so why was he there?

If it had meant nothing, why was Chuuya looking for someone to talk with... if... if his departure meant nothing?

He shook his head, dismissing his thoughts, and he pushed the door that gave access to the basement.

The sound of blades clashing echoed, and a voice he hadn’t listened to in a while—but never forgotten—filled his ears and went straight to his empty heart.

Suddenly, the blades stopped, and he heard a muttering before the same voice said, "Chuuya, little brother... what a... pleasant surprise..." his voice was melodious as always, and for once, it felt like a blessing to Chuuya's emptiness.

He, indeed, had not felt like that in a while.

He walked towards the man he called his brother, then he looked at him, eye to eye.

"Paul Verlaine."

The man he had once wished to kill.

The murderer of his friends.

But also his savior.

The gradually visible light showed his brother's majestic features and his elegance.

Paul Verlaine had a beautiful and calm smile on his lips. It almost made Chuuya's heart break in pieces, seeing the warmth and adoration written in those eyes.

He felt incredibly weak.

Those cold and sharp eyes—the eyes of an assassin, who killed with no hesitation and whose hands were filled with blood.

But to Chuuya, the gesture felt immensely warm—a warmth that came from the man who had murdered his friends with brutality.

Perhaps it had been due to his current situation, but... Paul Verlaine's smile felt like a blessing.

Maybe, for once, Chuuya could see him as a proper brother.

He felt like a child who wanted to run toward his brother's arms and cry until the night came.

However, Chuuya didn’t cry.

He wouldn’t... cry.

Instead, he closed his eyes as he sighed.

And Verlaine immediately noticed something else behind his beloved brother's heart.

He looked like a child—small and fragile—who was struggling to admit that they had been responsible for breaking their mother's vase.

Struggling to ask for help, for a hand.

It reminded him of the day he saved Chuuya from that researcher.

He looked so vulnerable... he almost looked like a stray dog...

His face, polished like marble, was beautiful as always, lit by the illumination. But his eyes were like two polished jewels that didn’t shine with life.

Stagnant, yet beautiful.

Inside, Verlaine could see something that he knew no human could: solitude.

He sighed, closing his eyes.

"I have a table where we can talk," his voice was soothing, and it felt better than any caressing. "Walk with me."

And like a lost sheep, Chuuya followed Verlaine to the table.

As they sat down, he noticed the teapot and several cups, with the respective dish under each one.

Verlaine's artificial heart squeezed as he carefully looked at Chuuya, who seemed unsure of even perhaps his own existence.

However, Chuuya didn’t seem dead. If anything, it felt like... he had just seen someone dying.

And oh, he remembered the anger his brother's eyes irradiated... but now? He was more like a kicked puppy.

He didn’t want to kill, didn’t want revenge.

Chuuya lost someone, that was certain.

But lost someone to what... lost someone to who?

These were Verlaine's thoughts as he glanced at Chuuya.

"Tea?"

Chuuya nodded as he watched the man pouring the liquid into the cup; he did the same for his cup and then looked at him gently.

"So... what brought you here, little brother?" he paused as he noticed the lack of reaction from Chuuya. "Don’t get me wrong, it’s always a delight to see you, Chuuya, but... you must have something in mind right now... don’t you?" he said, as he mixed the sugar with the tea with a spoon.

Chuuya didn’t react. He really felt like a robot.

Empty and dead. Behind his eyes, there was nothing but empty and plain loneliness.

Finally, he looked down as he sighed.

"I came to you... because you are the only one who can help me," he said.

Verlaine’s eyes lit up and stopped mixing the sugar with the spoon.

All those years he had wanted to hear those words. Strangely, it felt wrong, seeing his brother’s face. But...

"No one will ever be able to understand me." his eyes were like sharp knives. As an assassin, Verlaine had seen less brutal looks. Then, Chuuya’s tone briefly palled. "No one... no one but you... brother."

He diverted his attention to the cup as he used his spoon to mix nothing in particular.

Verlaine did the same, and a smile appeared on his lips.

It was a sad, kind smile. The type of kindness Verlaine had reserved for his two favorite people.

His brother and the only human he was never able to hate.

No matter how much he tried.

The metallic sound filled the air, giving it a certain melancholy. A sad scenario that would fill Verlaine’s artificial heart for a long time.

"Well, then." he said as he lifted his gaze toward his brother. Then he opened another smile. "How can I help you, dear brother?"

It felt surreal how two people, such as them, doomed to the endless darkness and solitude, could be able to have such a moment.

Two brothers speaking.

And there was something incredibly poignant about two doomed souls—brothers not by blood, but by circumstances—speaking.

Something tragically beautiful.

Slowly, Chuuya raised his head and looked inside Verlaine’s eyes—deeply and dripping with feelings.

They were not empty anymore.

The jewels shone. They were shining as a storm, as lightning would severely punish the stormy sky.

It was a painful beauty.

There were no tears, no sounds, just an upcoming storm like his little brother was.

Verlaine loved him more than anything.

He had learned to love the stormy sky more than the rain... Rimbaud... he hated cold weather...

Verlaine never really minded a little storm.

Especially when the storm was about his little brother.

Named Nakahara Chuuya, cursed by birth, tortured by life.

Unwanted by death.

If he was human, which Verlaine knew he wasn't, Chuuya had stopped feeling like that a long time ago.

He was... no longer human...

And there was something beautiful about that.

"You said people often lie to deceive and to foul other people, right?" Verlaine nodded slowly. Because he had never been one to lie.

At least not to the person in front of him.

"I did. Humans are not trustworthy creatures." Then he added with a sigh after a pause full of past. Full of his past. "Every human but Arthur." Every word carried a lingering strain. "He was... an incredible human being." His smile illustrated the intensive and burning adoration Verlaine felt for his deceased ex-partner.

His dear, dear friend.

His inspiration during days of solitude.

It had been so meaningful that Chuuya had to swallow. He didn't think about the fact he had just lost his partner.

Dead? Alive?

Chuuya didn’t know.

Chuuya didn’t care.

Yet, he felt a staining pain on his chest.

Even so, he proceeded, like he always did.

"You can't trust no one but your allies." he said, slowly, almost as if diligently tasting his words. "Your partner included, right?" his voice was now a bit higher, but still not too high. Still controlled.

To anyone, it’d probably have been nothing, but to Verlaine, it was the confirmation he needed.

He stopped drinking his tea, with a cautious expression.

He was not looking at Chuuya.

There was no need for that.

Verlaine stayed quiet for a while, but then he took a sip of it and lowered his hand with the cup. He pressed his lips together, pondering.

Finally, he said as he gently placed the cup on the little dish, "I see..." The sound reverberated in the air. "...So this is about that guy..." he sighed. "What was even his name?" He pretended to think, not giving Chuuya any chance to answer. "Ah, I remember... Dazai-kun... wasn't it?"

Chuuya saw how Verlaine's tone changed.

Then, silence filled the air.

He didn’t confirm nor deny it. He dodged the conversation he started like an agile warrior would dodge the blade of death.

Instead, he took a silent sip of his tea. The hot liquid slipped down his dry throat and lightly burned his lips.

Then he placed it on the small dish with a tired sound, with a sigh.

"You were right," he said. But Verlaine didn’t react as he blankly stared at his brother. Chuuya noticed it and he didn’t care. "You were right about thinking of the future and not the present." he ended up admitting as Verlaine watched him attentively.

It was not possible to see what the man was thinking. "What I have today might not exist tomorrow or... it... it might turn out to be a complete lie." He paused, and his tone was painfully silent and low.

He sighed tiredly, full of regret.

"I was a fool to think that something could last forever."

He looked down at his tea in the cup.

His faint reflection was shown.

He tried to see more there, a light, a smile, his friends, life... but there was nothing.

No hope on the tea.

No hope for a quiet and normal life.

His life was like that hot tea—burning and ephemeral.

It would eventually end.

And it was often so sour.

Sometimes, not even the sugar could help.

Chuuya wanted little biscuits with the tea.

That way it'd be more bearable.

"People come and go," after his meditation, Chuuya spoke. He paused a bit. "They do whatever they want, and they don’t give a fuck about the other’s feelings."

Verlaine looked at him with an apprehensive expression. His previous blank face melted.

"Humans... humans are, indeed, treacherous creatures," he said like it was obvious with his soft tone. His eyes were like the sea—blue and deep. "They can’t be trusted." he smiled and looked at Chuuya, placing his empty cup aside. "But I suppose this is nothing new... I told you this before, didn’t I?"

Hesitantly, Chuuya nodded. It was such a small reaction.

One could have easily missed it.

He looked like the child Verlaine met.

"You did." Solemnly, he agreed. "But I was too much of a fool... to hear it." Regret filled his words. "You were right."

Verlaine smiled a little with his eyes.

"I should not give in to my emotions, nor should I think about the people who don’t... give a damn about me and... my feelings... my emotions." And the tone was significantly sadder.

No, it was not exactly sadness, it almost looked... disappointed.

"I shouldn’t have given in."

He should have not.

Because now, it was too late to tell past Chuuya that.

Now, he would just have to live with it.

Verlaine stared at Chuuya silently for a while and then opened his mouth, placing his forearms on the table.

"You... you don’t seem very surprised," he commented. "Deep down, you knew one day... this... would happen, right?" He paused and then added softly, "You just didn’t want to think about that possibility, right?"

Oh.

Chuuya... Chuuya did know that.

Chuuya knew how far Dazai’s loyalty to the organization could go: it was not much.

But... that wouldn’t change what he was feeling.

And so, he looked away, away from his brother’s somehow curious gaze, a bit uncomfortable.

"I am... I am not surprised," he admitted painfully, and paused. "I have always known that bastard's loyalty was almost nonexistent and that... he was a selfish asshole." He paused after those words.

Because calling Dazai, his partner, that felt very real.

For the first time, he meant it.

Dazai was incredibly selfish and a disloyal person.

Those words didn’t feel like a source of anger or irritation like they usually did.

Now they just... hurt like freshly opened wounds.

His partner was a selfish asshole.

He was surprised how calmly he had said that. He was not even angry. It was almost... strange.

But then... Chuuya looked at Verlaine, who looked at him with slight curiosity and a cautious expression.

"But I trusted him."

And he did.

He trusted Dazai with his life.

Contrarily to the mafia’s popular belief, Chuuya knew Dazai would never, ever disappoint him.

After Verlaine and the fateful Dragon Head Conflict, Chuuya could have said that there was no one he'd trust more than Dazai.

Because... that’s what it meant to be a partner, right?

More than... a close person, Dazai was his partner.

They might never have had... something as pure and precious as a friendship... never have had a peaceful relationship... but...

Chuuya wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

Now that Dazai was gone, Chuuya noticed that.

And so, he continued. 

"Dazai... I trusted my life to him and he... he was my partner. He was always someone that I knew I could rely on, no matter what." He paused as his eyes spoke what his mouth didn't. "And... I thought this meant something to him... at least... like it meant to me."

That was like a slap. It felt like one.

Verlaine stayed silent. His eyes were filled with memories from a distant past,

A past that Verlaine had not been aware of, and he could only dream how Arthur had felt when he betrayed him.

If it had been like Chuuya was... then... he didn't want to think about it.

So he stayed quiet. He had no word in the matter.

And Chuuya continued.

"But this was my fault," he said sternly "I didn’t think about the future and the possibility of someone... someone as dishonest as Dazai could leave the organization." He paused, merely to take a quiet sip of his tea. Then he said,"Without saying anything."

Verlaine simply looked at him.

That was all he did.

All he could do.

His brother was speaking, and he listened.

"And... and he probably even made fun of me." He laughed dryly, more dry than the Sahara Desert. "...leaving something behind to annoy me." He sighed, changing his tone, and it was the closest he could come to a cry. He proceeded like the warrior he was, with a decided tone. "So... after what happened... I decided to think further," he declared.

A pause.

"Because... I don’t want to think about what I’m doing at the moment. I don’t want people like... Dazai... to order me around like a sheepdog." His voice was intense and almost emotional.

Then he added quietly,"I want to be responsible for my own actions and thoughts."

After a while, looking at his barely emptied tea, Chuuya looked at his brother.

Verlaine saw a sixteen-year-old Chuuya there.

Aware of his demise.

Dazai Osamu was a human, and humans love excessively.

He wouldn't be the exception.

He knew too well that look when he glanced at Chuuya.

So, there was no way that he didn't care about him.

Still, he wouldn't say that to Chuuya, who seemed sure Dazai didn't "give a fuck" about him.

So, instead, he said,

"But you are right that you shouldn't expect anything from people," he said. "Chuuya... people will try to benefit from your weaknesses and use your feelings, that's... that's how humans are. I know it." He smiled bitterly. Rimbaud was not like that. And something told him Dazai was not like that... too. He continued calmly. "But sometimes... something, we should give the benefit of the doubt to people's actions..." Dazai-kun certainly had a choice to leave," he added.

Chuuya looked at Verlaine.

It was not a sharp look, but it was not kind either.

"Yes," he said, "And I certainly have the right to clean him from my life."

It was the answer. Verlaine only nodded. Because he had that right.

"You do," he agreed. "And you would probably be correct, because that guy doesn't seem like someone you can trust." That was a fact. "But..." he sighed, "You shouldn't expect anything good from people. You saw what your sheep friends did, right?"

Chuuya stiffened, not expecting that. Verlaine continued, "You saw how the Mafia has been treating you... manipulating you... didn't you?" Chuuya downed his glance. Verlaine smiled. "I have told you before, but... this world doesn't deserve you, little brother." He paused. "You shouldn't give your all and your life to them: you have no guarantee that they will do the same for you."

There was no answer.

Because they both knew the outcome.

"About thinking further..." he sighed. "Well... you can't escape your fate and your existence, Chuuya." He leaned back a bit. "When you were sixteen... I gave you a way out, remember?"

Chuuya didn't answer.

"-and you refused it," he smiled, closing his eyes. "And I understand why, but now you have to accept the cruel consequences and the wickedness of this world." His voice was, for the first time, firm and authoritarian; then he softened it and his eyes too. "I am here for you, whenever you need."

With this, Chuuya was silent.

He didn't have any answer.

Even if he wanted to deny it... it was all true...

He remembered Verlaine's words like they were yesterday's, including the speech about destiny and his fate.

And none of them were pleasant nor tranquil.

He ignored it for years, but now... it seemed to be the time to face reality.

And so Verlaine spoke. "The first step in life is to accept your fate," he explained quietly; he sighed. "Chuuya... there... there is no happy ending for people like us." His voice had that lingering poetic tone, like a ballad. Ballad of death. "Our existence was meant to bring chaos and destruction. When it comes to anything else, we are unqualified for it," he said with an apprehensive tone. "Why do you think you are unable to keep a stable relationship?"

Silence.

"Because you are not suitable for that. Sure, you can temporarily enjoy that feeling, but deep down... you know... you know it won't last..." He shifted his glance. "Am I not right?" he asked rhetorically. "You knew it would happen with Dazai as well. Like you told me: you ignored the future." His tone was like a solo of a sad violin.

It went straight to his heart.

Chuuya simply pressed his lips together, seeming to restrain his crying or something else.

"Chuuya... little brother... you know... you know I am right, correct?" He smiled. "You are in the mafia, but for what? What are you doing here? Why... why did you stay? You might have a lot of reasons, but... what makes you stay here? What is it?"

"It's not like I have much of a choice," he said. "It's a place to stay, a place to live."

Verlaine was silent. Chuuya sighed, shifting in his seat.

"Besides, what can I do if I leave the Mafia? Nothing. No choice. I have no choice here, Verlaine." A cold tone. "I never had."

And it was true. But that didn't make it any less painful.

His brother smiled.

"It's too late, isn't it?" he said. "You now understand why I said you should never have been born, don't you?" Chuuya raised his head, and his eyes were slightly reflecting.

Verlaine sighed.

"Unfortunately, this was the life people... they gave us," he said, almost wistfully. "Ah, them... We can't defeat nor fight it."

Silence filled the air.

"Like a storm," almost like a poem, Verlaine said. "Fate... the end is like a storm." He smiled, almost kindly. "We don't know when it will happen, but we do know for a fact that it will happen."

Chuuya looked at him. "You remember the storm, don't you? You can't fight it." Then he added, "You can't win it."

Chuuya, who had been silent, finally spoke.

"Then what the hell am I supposed to do?! To kill myself like that bastard wants to?" He paused a bit. "To lock myself away from everything and everyone like you do? To be a cold murderer like half of the Mafia is? Tell me, Verlaine, what should I do?"

He was not screaming; he was not angry. Verlaine was not his target. It wouldn't be fair shouting at him. So he sighed.

"I don't know what to do. I know what the future awaits me, but... I don't know what I should do at the moment," he calmly placed a hand on the table. "I asked you because..." He sighed. "Because I thought you would understand me."

But all Verlaine could offer was a smile. Useless as it was.

"I do, Chuuya, I really do."

"But you can't do anything to help me," he said as a fact.

He knew that.

They both knew.

"That's right. I can't do anything," Verlaine calmly agreed with a nod.

"Should I just... give in and..." he realized he had stood up with the storm of emotions, despite his voice being calm, and sat down with a sigh. "...be what people expect me to be? The executive the mafia wants?"

It took a while until Verlaine's answer.

"It's your choice, little brother. All I can say is that everything you have today is temporary." A kind smile. "The storm is certain, but you don't know when it will happen. So you won't be able to pack your life before it breaks in. It will just..." He stopped.

Although it had not been clear, Chuuya had understood it. The storm... was a storm. There was nothing else left to do.

He pressed his lips together and then sighed. A bitter smile appeared.

"Bah, I should have known you would only make things worse," he said a bit disappointed.

"Nonsense." Verlaine shook his head. "I am not the one making everything worse. Reality is... Life is... It's not something I can control." He looked at him very seriously. "Only you can. If you want to end your journey, do it. But if you want to live in this illusion, temporary and dishonest as it is... you are welcome to do it as well."

Chuuya narrowed his eyes.

"I am not locked up here like you are, Verlaine." He paused. "You keep speaking as if I had any choice here." He paused again. "Which I don't." He sighed. "Between seeing my friends dying and seeing myself under the mafia's claws, I prefer a hundred times the latter," he said.

Verlaine looked at him.

"You did choose your cage, dear brother."

"I did," he said, because... he did. "I did for the sheep and... now I have a job to accomplish and expectations to reach..."

His brother cautiously watched him.

"Even back then, it's never my choice."

That's why he should have never been born. It was his punishment for his existence. Verlaine was certain Chuuya knew that, but refused to accept it.

"I see..." he said. "Someone showed you... must have delivered you the sweet illusion of free will..."

Been there once and it's not pretty, he thought. Arthur's words. He wondered if Dazai had been that person for Chuuya.

But his brother looked utterly decisive.

"Whatever you are thinking—don't," he said sharply. Then his tone changed. "I am staying here because I have no choice and... and... and it's not so bad." Finally, he stood up, his face devoid of emotions. "I'll just have to clean that bastard from my mind and memories. And everything will be fine." He smiled once again, without emotions.

Ah, so it was like this... Chuuya... lost his last... and only hope...

Oh, Verlaine... he was quite acquainted with that.

And because of it, he smiled understandingly.

Chuuya was still looking at him, probably expecting something from his older brother. Smiling, finally Verlaine said, "Is that so?" He paused, opening his smile further. "Then... I wish you the best, little brother," he said, with genuine honesty. "You know I am always here to talk."

Chuuya, already on his feet, looked at him almost with an ironic expression. His brother's dramatic words had always made him unironically annoyed.

"Sure," he said. "I am certain, you won't go anywhere." He turned on his heels and sighed. "Because it's so hard to find someone down here, right?" He laughed a bit and started to walk away.

However, one last piece of advice was left.

"Chuuya."

The new executive stopped walking uneasily. Then Verlaine said, "Don't trust people, nor expect something from them." He paused. "If you expect the worst from people, whatever they do will never disappoint you."

Silence filled the air, and Chuuya's breath was audible. His expectations were low enough, at least he thought that, but... apparently, he still expected a hint of empathy and understanding from his partner—no, ex-partner.

Ah... Verlaine... Pau Verlaine...

How his brother was right...

But despite that, Chuuya still laughed a little. It was almost as artificial as Verlaine's soul.

"Well, at least a good piece of advice from my older brother!" He waved a hand in disdain. "I’m not expecting anyone to carry me home or something, so don’t worry." Then he stopped talking, stopped walking. The sound of his shoe hitting the ground reverberated.

Verlaine waited for his brother's last words.

"Don’t worry," Chuuya said. After some time, he looked over his shoulder. "How can I expect something I don’t know what it is?" He paused, smiling bitterly. "You and I, more than anyone, know what—how this is, right?" His eyes were dark.

People say the eyes are the reflection of the soul.

"It has always been like this," Chuuya added, before looking ahead and walking toward the stairs to leave. Due to this, he was not able to hear Verlaine’s equally bitter laugh.

On that very same day, Chuuya thought through Verlaine’s words and radical advice. They hit his head like hammers. But it didn’t hurt. Not anymore. It just... left him... strangely... aware of himself.

That night, he sat down at the wooden table in his house with a wine bottle in front of him. It was a Petrus 89. It had been a present from a client, and Chuuya had saved it for an eventual celebration.

Usually, he never drank alone. He was always accompanied by people, with nights filled with laughs, smiles, and jokes...

Chuuya never drank alone, but... seeing how late it was... no one would likely have wanted to drink with him, and... he didn’t really want to see anyone.

Not that day.

He found himself lost in his brother’s words about Dazai, about his life... And it was all so true and genuine that it made him sick.

He just wanted to forget everything he had been told. Too much, too much, too much for him—too much, way too much. Truth or a lie, it had stung his chest.

And perhaps as his only choice and without any hesitation, he grabbed the bottle in front of him. He opened it and pressed his lips against the bottleneck. It felt more like a medication.

Alcohol cured pain, right?

Just for a second, he thought about... stopping it.

But he didn’t... pull back, tilting the bottle to make gravity run the wine straight to his throat.

It was not meant to taste the wine—which was a shame, really, considering its quality—but to drink. He drank just for the sake of drinking. For the first time.

And... he was aware of it... or... half of the bottle. After that, Chuuya was not responsible for what happened. Nor aware of what he had felt.

He did remember that the wine’s taste was bitter, as it was accompanied by such acid thoughts. Verlaine’s words... his past... his future... his present... Dazai’s departure...

His heart was pounding heavily in his chest. And then, he blacked out.

The night was over for Chuuya.

But in the morning, when he woke up, he had his head on the table and a terrible headache. As he lifted his torso, his eyes noticed small spots that were drawn on the table’s towel.

Chuuya assumed those were wine drops. (and not regretful tears)

And so, from that day on, Nakahara Chuuya and everyone forgot about Dazai Osamu and his betrayal.

Just like Chuuya had told Verlaine, he'd surround himself with work, guaranteeing that his life would gain some value.

And, in fact, it did.

The compliments, the fame, and even the jealousy gave some color to his life... but only for a while.

It had been something, although it was meant to not last forever.

In the end, Chuuya would find himself alone, at a desk, his schedule filled with meetings, his boss frequently relying on him, papers, pencils, people...

And in the beginning, it felt right, until... he felt that inevitable and pungent loneliness.

He'd remind himself countless times of his brother's words:

"Nothing lasts forever, and everything is temporary. Don't get too close to people, you will never know when they will stab you from the back."

...

Silently, he wondered if this was how Dazai felt before leaving... more like a weapon, a mafia asset than a human being.

No longer human.

Ah, even away, Dazai occupied his thoughts.

It was almost... it almost made Chuuya miss him... to miss him more... miss him more than the hatred he felt for him.

"You are a kid too,"

Fifteen-year-old Dazai had said, eyes more dead than a fish's. Chuuya could remember it.

"I am not just any child,"

Back then, Chuuya had said.

But back then, fifteen-year-old Chuuya took pride in what he did. He would kill a bunch of people as long as he'd use his fists—his feet.

Now?

Now Chuuya didn't take any pride... not when the person he wished to defeat was no longer there.

Now that Dazai had left the organization, he had no need for that.

Now it was just... boring. It was almost as when he was the sheep leader, but back then... back then Chuuya hadn't met Dazai.

Now, he knew Dazai... now that he finally got his former partner, he could say he didn't want to see him ever again.

Chuuya knew it wouldn't be a peaceful reunion... if possible, he'd like to avoid that.

...

Maybe Verlaine was right.

Maybe Dazai had been responsible for delivering the illusion of having a choice...

Because now, Chuuya noticed how different his life was... without him...

He didn't think often about Dazai. He had not lied when he said he was dead to him, but... sometimes... when he looked at Dazai's former apprentice...

He'd find himself lost in memories.

And once he found it, he never wanted to let go.

He once wondered if this was how Rimbaud had felt when he found Chuuya.

If his words had been to Verlaine and not to Chuuya.

Because... Chuuya felt similarly. Once, he told Akutagawa something he'd liked to tell Dazai:

"If you can't find something worth living for... find a reason worth dying for."

The boy's eyes had shown a hint of surprise.

Chuuya wondered if Akutagawa knew to what person those words had been tailored for.

After all, fifteen-year-old Chuuya did know ... but he didn't care.

He hadn't care if Rimbaud's words had been for Verlaine and not for Chuuya.

It hit him all the same.

And he remembered Arthur Rimbaud's words like it had been yesterday's.

"Chuuya-kun, can I ask you a favor? Live. There is no longer… any way of knowing… who you are or where you came from... But even if… you are but a pattern… etched on the surface of raw power… you are you. Nothing changes that… because all people, all humanity… their brains and flesh… are nothing more than patterns—beautiful patterns… upon the material world..."

Rimbaud died in peace with his friend.

Chuuya really wished he could mourn Dazai like Rimbaud did to Verlaine...

But... how could he possibly mourn something that never ended?

He could mourn the beginning, the day he met Dazai, the moment he trusted him but...

Chuuya had always done what he wished and... he didn't regret meeting... Dazai... or trusting him...

When his car was burned, turned into flames in front of his eyes... it didn't feel like the end.

He didn't feel angry or irritated... well, sort of a bit annoyed, but...

What predominated was... something close to disappointment because... their relationship had never died.

It had been buried alive, without even ending.

And because of it... it hurt when he first heard from Kouyou.

So...

"The only way to stop the suffering is to never be born."

Perhaps... then... he should grieve the day he met Dazai.

Maybe that's what he'd mourn about.

Yes, he'd bury the past, live the present, and think about the future.

And so, Nakahara Chuuya lied to Verlaine when he said he had always done what he wanted, no regrets.

He even lied to himself.

Because, there was one thing he regretted in his life.

And he knew it.

Chuuya was not sorry for the poor end of their relationship, no.

He didn't regret trusting Dazai, either.

He didn't regret being his partner.

He didn't regret their hangouts.

He didn't regret any of those.

No.

However, one thing he felt terribly sorry for.

The day he met Dazai.

It had been his biggest and only regret.

Nakahara Chuuya had always done what he wanted, he never had regrets.

Yet, he regretted the day he looked at Dazai.

And that, he felt sorry about.

Terribly so.

[dorkfruit]

red sea but.... as yuris ?

[wellijustfinnihedoneofthebooks]

The thing about me is i dont really care about how "book accurate" any of the characters look in amcs iwtv BUT if they dont get the most ridiculous wig ever crafted for marius i will be severely disappointed

[sweetvalentinescandy]

trying to make some tweek designs just to like practice or somethin idk ell oh ell im not feeling very confident in my art anymore lowkey

big yap fest for each design under the cut !!

Barbarian Tweek

"ive never really thought of tweek as afab outside of TSOT, but i feel more comfortable drawing top surgery scars [than i do like.. nipples.] ive always seen tweek as trans, usually non conforming/non binary/androgynous in general, but ive never considered transmasculine. but i like the idea!

this is probably my least canon compliant design of this bunch. i feel like the fantasy of TSOT is just so ripe for headcanons. i NEVER draw sp characters with canon in mind really, probably the autism taking over or somethin, but i always at least age them up [more in the main tweek design]. for this design, i was thinking more of what tweek thought they looked like, if not the more au version of TSOT. like, The Thief by Wintergrew on ao3 kinds of non canon compliant. thats also most of the inspiration for basically every TSOT thing i do ever. i love that series (i did cry) (a lot)"

Tweek Tweak

"its the original guy lets have a round of applause honestly..., not my favorite time ive drawn bro. he looks so boring when hes just standing there. i always see tweek as non binary, just because i project on them a LOT.. like. i know that hes a guy and probably doesnt care [in canon], but i just headcanon like that i guess. i also age him up, along with every other sp character, to be around my age so like 14-17. i know thats controversial [and by "i know" i mean i saw someone on sp whisper pinterest say they hated it] but i just dont know how to write kids. theyre kinda boring. i can project more onto teens i guess. thats kinda all there is to say. sometimes i draw tweek with brown pants, but thats because i just like the earthy aesthetic [on them]"

Wonder Tweek

"this is the most canon compliant one. im just not that much of a TFBW guy honestly (which is sad because its the only source of not really canon twenny sigh) but i guess its also the source of some of the best creek. i am not a creek hater but sometimes its hard to fight the allegations when i start crying over them having a cute scene in a video game [not because im mad its because i miss being in a relationship] [frowney tumblr loser behavior] when i say this is the most canon compliant one, i mean it. this is SHORT HAIR TWEEK. [i usually draw tweek with like longer hair like 2021 wolfmullet hair and with the little twin sideburn things idk what theyre called, mostly because i didnt know how to draw short boy hair before getting into sp and thats just how i drew them instead but a year later i finally decided to just do it and thought it was okay for startin out] code red. sound the alarms. theres not a lot to say besides that. (can you tell i hit my peak with barbarian tweek.) [i ordered this by order of how i finished them and yes you can tell sigh]"

[gorillaxyz]

people on death note tiktok are so stupid. i dont like that ship either because its extremely out of character NOT BECAUSE ITS TOXIC????, DIE

[gnfountains]

This is unrelated to the Caitlin thing but I find it weird that so many fans are obsessed with who their ccs hang out with. Like they want the Dteam to hang with Punz - but only without Caitlin who’s being evil by stealing him away. They want the DTeam to hang out with Karl - unless he’s being a satanic MrBeast clout leech. It’s so strange that fans think they have control of who and when their ccs hang out with each other, and it verges ton annoyingly parasocial sometimes.

I've come to accept that this is just a part of any facet of this fandom. at least we aren't as bad as inniters. as long as I can laugh and call them parasocial who cares. I think it would be funny if someone super loved and uncontroversial became friends with someone hated just to watch the fandom scramble

[hauntingblue]

If I was funnier and had the time, I would write a batfam fanfic that would actually be a very bad telenovela where everyone is terrible and dramatic, the worst ships ever thought about happen and they all fight to get bruces inheritance or want to be on WE or something like that. It would be like wfa but with completely opposite vibes

[seventh-district]

tag limit my beloathed... continuing my analysis of my potentially Sun x Moon coded ships here ↓

[bangmelikeyourdrums]

Been quite inactive because I've been quite upset with matty. that podcast was out of order, making fun of yungblud for having passion and basically being how he used to be is out of order, and not mentioning, apologising, acknowledging any of it is out of order. Don't know what to do or say, how to feel. This band has been a lifeline for me for over 10 years and now Matty's just gone and talked shit on half his fans, then gotten upset when people have tried to say something. He's acting like a child with an inflated ego and I need an explanation

[landososcar]

espresso ; LN4

pairing(s) ; lando norris x fem driver!reader

summary ; in which yn says fuck it and drops a song while soft launching her (possibly problematic) relationship

warnings ; flufffffff & like one mention of christian horner (🤮)

note ; i apologise for the one post in here where i basically just fan girl over ria but who wouldn’t. +this is pretty long and i got lazy towards the end and couldn’t be bothered making team announcement posts lol

twitter !

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youruser my give a fucks are on vacation 😝 espresso is YOURS!!! tonight after i demolish these old men 🫶

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user1 oh she is HER

lilymhe WIFFEEEEE

youruser AHHHHH IMMA MARRY YOU

alexalbon …i’m right here??

lilymhe IRRELEVANT

user2 I NEED IT NOW

bestfriend MY GIRLLLL‼️‼️💓💓💓💓

youruser I LOVEEE YOUUUUU

user3 i say we wave the chequered flag early so we get espresso now

landonorris ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

bestfriend lmfao

youruser 🧡

user4 EXVHSE ME?????????

user5 i love how she just disses half the grid and then just calls it a day

maxfewtrell helllll yeah

user6 maybe she’s never on the podium because she focuses more or singing than racing

user7 or because she’s in a fucking ALPINE

user8 y’all were SILENT when lh44 released music but suddenly it’s a problem when y/n does it

maxverstappen im not that old

youruser yeah okay grandpa

imessages !

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youruser i kissed @bestfriend in the club bathroom

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user1 IS THAT A MANNNN

youruser i sincerely apologise 😔

user2 guys do we think that’s mr espresso

bestfriend KISS ME AGAIN, FUCK *****

youruser omg don’t expose him😭

youruser but hell yeah come here gf😻😻😘

estebanocon my f1 teammate or my fav singer ?

youruser me when i’m both

user3 THE INITIAL NECKLACE ????? L?????

user4 omg y/n’s boyfie driving a mercedes ??? Y/N TO MERCEDES 2024‼️‼️‼️‼️

maxverstappen1 stream espresso

bestfriend yasss grandpa !!!

maxverstappen1 omg i try to do one thing nice and suddenly i’m catching strays

user5 IM WORKING LATTEEEEE CAUSE IM A SINGGERRRRR OH HE LOOKS SO CUTEEEEEE WRAPPED ROUND MY FINGEERRRRR

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landonorris can’t sleep

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user1 “SAY YOU CANT SLEEP BABY I KNOW THATS THAT ME ESPRESSO” LANDO NORRIS WHAT ARE YOU SAYING

user2 THE SOFT LAUNCH IN THE SECOND PIC TOO OH MY GOD ITS HAPPENING

user3 oh hes definitely always streaming espresso

maxverstappen1 what kind of thirst trap post is this mate

landonorris for her eyes only😁

bestfriend but you posted on the main ?

youruser UHM

youruser 💓💓💓💕🧡💘🖤💖🩷💞💙💗🖤💗🩷💝🩷❤️💕💚🤎🩷💕💜💖🖤❣️🩷💕❤️💜🤍💚🩷🧡🩵💛🤍🧡❤️💕💛💚💕💘🩷💞❤️💜💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓

landonorris what happened to the soft launch baby

youruser you’re too hot i need people to know your MINE😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😘😘😘💓💓

youruser do you think about me every night😁😁😝

user4 oh she’s gone insane

user5 THE EMOJIS IM PISSING MYSELF SOMEONE SEDATE HER

bestfriend girl get UP

bestfriend what have you done to my gf

landonorris MYYYYY girlfriend🥰🥰🥰🥰

bestfriend bite me bitch

bereal !

caption: my two fav f1 drivers (excluding estie ofc🫶)

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youruser unfortunately, i was too hot for the car this week, we’ll get those old men next week 🫶

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user1 SHES FUCKING HILARIOUS

user2 maybe if she stopped making music and focused more on racing she wouldn’t have dnfed

landonorris the car had a issue with its breaks ? how was she gonna fix that. explain quick pls coz you’re an expert

user3 LANDO DEFENDING HER IMMA SOB

bestfriend babe you need a car that can handle hot sexy you are 😫😫 i don’t wake up at 3am on a monday morning to watch you nearly die 😝

youruser my sincerest apologies ma’am 🫡

bestfriend i love you tho🫶🫶

youruser if you really loved me you’d come to the race next week ??

youruser WAS I JUST AIRED

lilymhe we’ll ignore this week !! podium coming next week for my girl i can feel it

youruser 💓💓

user4 i can’t believe her and lando are dating, so unprofessional

landonorris GAHHHH I LOVE YOUUUUU

youruser STOP IT ILL CRY 💞💞💞 MY LOVE🥰

user5 surely her dating an opponent is bad for business

imessages !

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landonorris apparently is bad for business? sorry y/n/n’s pr team ig 🙏🤷‍♂️ but stream my girl’s new song‼️‼️

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youruser RIAAAAAAAA

user1 two tit pics in a row omg !?

youruser BABY IVE MISSED YOU COME SEE ME

landonorris 💓💓

youruser GIRL NO I WAS TALKING TO RIA SKRJSKJDJFKS

riabish STOP I LOVE YOU

landonorris wtf😭😭😭

user2 if ria has 0 fans, y/n is dead

youruser RIA PLS COME TO THE NEXT RACE I AM BEGGINGGGGGGGG

youruser make up some sort of reason and pretend quadrant need to come but then i’ll send you (and only you😉) an alpine pass 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

riabish my boss hasn’t planned a quadrant race visit for a couple more races babe😔

youruser JUST SENT YOU FLIGHT DETAILS ILL PICK YOU UP FROM THE AIRPORT WITH YOUR PADDOCK PASS

riabish MARRY ME

youruser FUCK YES AJDKSJAHHAHAH

landonorris guys i think i just lost my gf on a post i made dedicated to her

youruser yeah but you posted a pic of ria, so who was i actually paying attention to ??

youruser i love you so so sooooo much (im actually talking to you this time)

landonorris luv u 2 i guess

youruser nah wtf boutta unrelease this song

user3 what did we just witness

estebanocon you guys are insane

user4 omg bad for business is another banger

user5 when y/n can’t choose between f1 and singing so she just fucking EATS both

maxfewtrell when you ask y/n about her fav quadrant member and you expect her to say lando but you’re stupid and it’s ria without second thought

youruser you’re a close second place max🫶

landonorris wtf am i?? chopped liver?????

instagram stories !

landonorris & youruser added to their story

instagram !

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youruser alpine ❤️ all 4 years that i’ve spent in formula 1 have been spent at this team and i now call everyone at the headquarters, garages, and races, family. thank you to everyone who’s made an impact to my life in any kind of way no matter how big or small, i appreciate it more than you will ever know. @estebanocon, thank you for being the best teammate i could ever ever everrrr ask for, you have grown with me and taught me so so many things. we’ve shared more laughs than probably any other teammates and moving to different teams will definitely not stop that.

there’s still the rest of the year until the end of this era and i know we’ll make the most of it. i’ll always remember alpine as the team that brought me in and made me the woman that i am today. the end of this season will definitely be tough but if it wasn’t sad then it would mean there was nothing to miss.

let’s have an amazing rest of the year, i love alpine and will never forget the time ive spent here 💙🩷💙🩷

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user1 IM SOBBING

user2 omg she loves alpine so much this is devastating why would they not re-sign her😭😭😭😭😭

user3 they couldn’t afford to re-sign both her AND esteban, mercedes offered her A LOT more money

landonorris so so so proud of you my love 💓💓

youruser 🫶🧡🧡

f1 never forget the first alpine driver line up after renault… keep pushing y/n!!

user4 ohhh she’s gonna EAATTT at mercedes

estebanocon going to send a mor private text to you now but thank you for everything y/n/n 🩷💙 (you’re also my favourite f1 driver)

lewishamilton ❤️❤️

lilymhe 💓

user5 omg the y/n to merc rumours were true

user6 it’s not even been confirmed yet lmfao for all we know she could’ve just got sacked by alpine and no one wants to pick her up

bestfriend soooo proud of you my girl 💞💞💞💞

riabish prouder than words can explain 🫶

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youruser HE FUCKING DID IT !!:!;&/&”!/!;”929/ MY BOYFRIEND IS A RACE WINNER AND IM SOBBING OMG I LOVE HIM SO MUCH LOOK HOW HAPPY😁

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user1 GIRL F1 AND MERCEDES JUST ANNOUNCED YOUR MOVE AND YOURE POSTING THIS LMFAOOO

landonorris WE DID IT BABY AHHHSHDHHAKA

youruser YOU DID IT MY LOVEEDJJRKEKR💓💓💓🧡💓🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🥰🥰😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰😻😻😻😻😻

user2 she’s so funny for just ignoring her merc move announcement 😭😭 she dgaf

user3 boyfie WON she doesn’t give a shit about mercedes rn, give her like 24 hours

bestfriend does this mean i can’t call him no wins anymore

riabish right!?? like, the one gp we go to and he has to go and steal our focus from our girl coz we gotta care about him at least a little bit

bestfriend exactly.. he’s so selfish like wtf

landonorris im so very very sorry

user4 FINALLYYYYYY

maxfewtrell 🧡🧡

youruser guys yes i know they announced my mercedes move! why are y’all acting like you didn’t know about it last week tho😭 i saw the tweets

[xclowniex]

Oh god what did John Green say in his video about Judaism??

Also got that ask so tacking it on.

I did not watch the video all the way through, just the zionisk section, but had the rest of it live messaged to me. I'm waiting on people who can word it better than me and I will reblog them when they're done.

However, what I can say is a few things

1) John Green's sources are mainly from non jews

And this is problematic because firstly it allows for misinformation to spread and secondly because on a video about judaism, he is not looking at it from a perspective of jews

2) He spread misinformation

The main one is who received the oral torah. And there are other misinformation as well

3) He quirkified judaism

He made it this quirky and weird thing. "Shaking a lemon angrily at hashem in a Dennys parking lot" type vibe. And he also just made out a whole lot of halacha to be weird. Like the rules around brushing your teeth on shabbat which was his opening line. It's not like a massive issue on its own, not ideal but not like a terrible thing. But when you pair it with everything else, it all just adds up in a bad way.

4) zionism

He included a bit about zionism, started off good in like the first 5 seconds then went downhill.

He said that zionism is a diverse set of beliefs which is true and good that he said so. But then he went on to like, not list any of the varying forms of zionism and say that it's about jewish nationalism aka making jews a nationality, which some branches do want but not all branches. He then spent the rest of the zionism part not talking about the history of zionism or how its important to some jews or ties into jewishness for a lot of jews. Not even a peep from him about how the concept of jews returning to the region before the word zionism existed is like, a major part of a lot of our holidays.

Instead, he spent the rest of the time talking about groups affected by zionism, such as Palestinians.

Which whilst that does deserve to be talked about, the time and place is not in a crash course video on what it is to be Jewish, as the videos can't be too long and that time would have been best spent focusing on jewish perspectives, both jewish perspectives in support of zionism and antizionism.

Overall, it just incredibly disappointing that John decided that his video was something he wanted to share with his large audience. As someone who as built their platform on educating others, he should know better than to spread misinformation.

[notmoreflippingelves]

Elena definitely has a lot of potential to go very, very dark, which kind of gets ignored by both canon and the fandom. (Not sure I'd go so far as serial killer--or at least not the sort that kills for pleasure/fun/attention. I see her more as ruthless tyrant in the Shuriki mold. Allowing her anger and other emotions to take hold of her completely in horrifying ways and becoming so convinced of her own self-righteousness that she is able to justify the most appalling behavior because she is Queen and powerful and the ultimate "Good"™)

But anyway, there are a few specific points re: Dark Elena (or the potential for it) that seldom get brought up by the fandom that I wanted to acknowledge.

The first is the fact that Elena and Shuriki are very clearly and intentionally set up as foils throughout the show. And specifically in ways that magnify not only their differences but also more importantly their similarities. And what are those similarities?

Both are beautiful, magically powerful women who are far older than they look.* Both overthrew their predecessor on the throne of Avalor (via the aid of an Esteban who was acting out of a powerful combination of fear, loneliness, and self-interest). Both are bearers of powerful magical scepters with (apparently) equal yet opposite powers. (Yet, the scepter of Night is able to create its own fire...and fire is something associated with light primarily...which suggests that the scepters and by extension, their bearers may not be so very different after all). Both are quick to anger with dangerous tempers.

But most importantly, both are (or have the potential to be) incredibly ruthless.

I particularly want to bring up what I see as the clearest, most frightening indication of "Dark Elena" in canon. Namely, we need to talk about Carla.

I will concede that Victor and Carla were traitors and should have faced consequences for their actions, a punishment that fit their crime.

And while we technically got that on paper, the actual situation that the Delgados ended up in would probably constitute "cruel and unusual punishment" under psychological terms at least.

It's important to consider that Carla turns herself in, specifically under the impression that Elena and co. will reverse the spell that turned Victor to stone. She was willing to accept whatever punishment that Elena demands, as long as Elena brings Victor back to life. Although Elena is non-committal, the episode does end with the strong implication that this is what Elena will do.

We do not see Carla Delgado again until at about a year has passed. ("The Magic Within" takes place during Carnaval which puts it sometime in February. "The Lightning Warrior" takes place after "Sweethearts Day" and before "Dia de las Madres" which puts us somewhere between February and May of the next year.)

And in all that time, Elena has not restored Victor. Moreover, she intentionally positions Carla in a dungeon cell that is within direct sight of Victor's statue. For an entire year!

Yes, Elena really did the children's show equivalent of locking Carla up in a room with what is essentially her father's gravestone and magically-preserved corpse. For a YEAR!

Like, that's pretty much the dictionary definition of psychological torture--right?

And what's more frightening, Elena doesn't even seem to realize or care just how mentally and emotionally damaging such a thing would've been to Carla. Either she's detached enough that she's unable to consider Carla's feelings, she's aware of what this would've done to Carla and didn't care, or she just straight up forgot about the position that she left Carla in.

And all of these options are each pretty uniquely terrifying in their own way.

* Elena may be physically 16-20, but she has nevertheless lived (however incompletely and miserably) decades longer. As a result of her unique circumstances, Elena is mentally somehow a lot older than her biological age and a lot younger than her chronological age. She has life experience even if she lacks maturity/emotional control that should've come with age if she had been allowed to "age" normally in a healthy environment. Yet another similarity she has with Esteban, who is also emotionally stunted due to the trauma of the Dark Times.™

Im making a whole post on this cuz Tumblr is being doodoo and wont let me reply to comments, but based on my recent EOA post, yes ive seen season 3, but I didnt think it was ENOUGH drama and suffering for Elena cuz I am deranged. And the other thing when I said Elena is on track to becoming a serial killer, YES IM NOT JOKING, SHE IS ON TRACK. I recently did hours worth of research reading articles on what happens to the human brain during isolation, and the damaged it does, and applied that to Elena, and all that summed up, shes 🤏 this close to going into psychosis and going on a killing spree no joke.

[beware-thecrow]

I fucking hate BNHA The last panel about "granma is here" in fact further proves my point on another post of how empty and nonsensical BNHA became in the last arc because AfO wanting Tomura from the very beginning made impossible for him to be saved anyway, which means all his beef with the heroes became unjustified and his speech about violence and heroes and villains held no importance in the end. Why?

Because you cannot have a character built over the premise that society was so corrupt and selfish that put a little boy in the bad bad villain's reach for 5 arcs, to then say "oh, wait. He was fucked anyway because the bad bad guy was behind everything all along"

A bad bad guy not even all might in his prime could defeat, so it doesn't matter if people would or wouldn't help others. "It's all bad bad guy's fault anyway and he's practically immortal." Perfect, now we know granma didn't stand a chance against AfO, he planned this.

The whole idea of a society that relies on heroes too much instead of everyone doing their part from kindness falls like a house of cards if you have an evil so corrupt that none of said kindness will mean a thing. The moment Horikoshi went from "Tomura was found by AfO" to "Tomura was planned by AfO" the core theme of his series crumbled down. The league as a device lost its meaning, the characters that composed it became unjustified because whatever motivation they had was in fact a manipulation from the greater evil. And this applies to everyone.

What's the point in Toga and Twice calling out the lack of help for people with mental illness and problematic quirks if the message still is "If you do bad things out of despair no one will help you and you'll get killed." And yes, Toga died loved, Toga wanted to be loved, but she didn't wanted to die?? She was literally an abandoned child who found a family and ended up dying giving blood to the same girl she stabbed. And yeah, it's kinda poetic she died giving blood instead of taking it, but what was the point if she doesn't get to know she's loved? Further more, are we really to believe Ochako loved Toga? A girl she literally didn't know. Sorry, but once I got lost in a mall and a police officer helped me find my mom, that doesn't mean the officer loved me. And yeah, Ochako tried her best to be a good hero, but it's not about what the characters do, it's what the story tells you it happens with what they do. The story just told you the ill and abandoned die in the end before anyone helps them. And they die hunted by the police. What's the point of Touya as a whole? oh, wait. I know, it must be very awful for Endeavor to be such a bad person, his child ended up incapacitated. Very hard on Endeavor. Fuck Dabi being turned into a piece of charcoal, IT'S HARD ON HIS DAD.

What's the point in Spinner pointing out discrimination and people following him if in the end we got that he should have stayed in his lane, in his room, friendless because he only went out to be seen by someone who accepted him, just to have that person tortured in front of him before he was killed. And for what? For a teen to tell him "Yo, bro. I punched your bestie to death, make a comic about it. Btw you'll be staying in jail forever. So so sorry for you guys." Proving once again, murder is okay if you are on the right side of the story. No matter how much compassion, Tomura showed Spinner, or how much he suffered through life. Heroes had the right to kill him, and there was nothing Spinner (who legit loved his friend) could do about it because AfO had taken over. Again, another good character turned pointless, with a pointless point of view, with a pointless conclusion because he can tell the story of Tomura Shigaraki all he wants FROM JAIL, but under the public eye Tomura will go down as an insane mass murderer either way since looking at him in any other light would inevitably make a target of Izuku for killing him and that won't happen. You cannot have "the best hero ever" and "he killed this dude that was kinda right" in the same sentence. It doesn't make sense. Not to mention his case against discrimination went nowhere since everyone who followed him became a villain and the only person who actually makes a point about discrimination ends up being Deku on another, totally different chapter that had nothing to do with Spinner. And...he's a hero so he can say whatever he wants, we go back to "questioning bad, unless a hero says it" and "people are really that horrible in BNHA universe".

Tomura's case it's even more fucked because even when he said he didn't want a future, every single wish he had fell flat. His hatred for not being saved as a child proved to be out of anyone's control, his desire to destroy society didn't land because nothing really changed. There are still schools for child soldiers, and people are still not questioning the violence heroes use to keep the status quo, and certainly no one is wondering how is that a couple of heroes were able to kill a couple of villains (because so far Hawks still has a job). His friends ended up dead or locked away, and the child in him that begged to be saved ended up...being not. In the end, we got a suffering festival for Tomura, from his granma being pushed to drop her kid, his dad being tricked, his parents getting killed in front of him, Mon-chan and Hana's memory squeezed dry and young Tenko asking for help while Tomura was assaulted by his creepy guardian for 200 chapters straight just to tell us that Deku at sixteen was a great hero for putting a twenty one-year-old dissociated guy out of his misery like a euthanized dog. And for what? To finish a guy who was infatuated with his dead brother AND THAT COULD HAVE BEEN EXECUTED IN JAIL LIKE...300 CHAPTERS AGO, since the manga already made the point that villains can be executed with little repercussion, and it can be justified if said villain it's a threat. Then...why was AfO alive to begin with? Oh, I guess this is something we can trust to a 16 year old instead of... the government or whatever. And yeah, these are tragic figures, they certainly are, but you can hardly claim that they achieved anything in the end because the first premise of the league, why it was formed and why they joined was

To live as we want/are. And now they are dead, or locked away, or bedridden crispy for something that was planted by someone else from the very beginning. And what they believed didn't change anything in the end because it's not like the public saw them do something meaningful but, again, they are being told what to believe, by whom? BY THE HEROES. Are we really arguing that Iguchi's comic will change society? ARE WE FOR REAL????? Have you ever read the story of Jesus Christ? he died for our sins by Marvel. And on top of that as the last nail in the coffin to prove that NOTHING changed, Hawks really said rebranding + target audience =📈🤙🏼 StOnKS✨ I wish I was joking.

[lazycats-stuff]

Can you do a teen reader (younger than Damian by 1 or 2 years) x batfam, where he is spider man? (I mean kinda like miles morales, he has electricity powers but his webs are organic too and doesn’t need a web shooters.) he is Bruce’s biological child and his mother died, yk his canon event and what not. So he has to move to Gotham and isn’t happy about. Just distant and all. One night He sneaked out and bought a train ticket and went to New York, and was only spider man and just slept in somewhere. So the batfamily tracked him to New York, and while looking for him, they bump into him as spider man. They have to team up to find a villian but reafer gets hurt in the end and his mask fell off and they see it’s reader? They bring him and just have a talk when he wakes up and they come to conclusion for him to join the family in their fighting in Gotham?

Oh, that sounds good. Yes... Also, 2.7k words and so sorry for taking so long to write this... Hope you enjoy. I changed it a little bit, so my apologies, but I got into my writing spirit lol.

Summary: (Y/N) is Spiderman. The fam doesn't know that.

Warnings: (Y/N)'s mom passes away, funeral, sad (Y/N), he loves his city, angst, running away, fighting with Green Goblin.

(Y/N) had a great life in New York. He was very happy in his city. He lived with his mom and everything was fine. Okay, he did get bitten by a radioactive spider and got cool powers with it. Did it cause some troubles? Oh yeah. Electricity was a bit problematic to control, but he managed.

Did he get grounded because of it? His mom sure thought so. His dad visited with the rest of his brothers every month. (Y/N) understood why he couldn't come more. Being a CEO and all that stuff, (Y/N) really understood. He didn't love Bruce any less. Bruce was involved in his life, which was nice.

He loved his brothers and father, more than anything in this world. Alfred was the best though. Whenever he came, he would bring his food and (Y/N) and his mom would enjoy it too, often asking for recipes. Or they would exchange recipes.

All of those were very fun times. And his time as Spiderman. He really loved it. He loved patrolling and helping the people and maybe get a hot dog from the stands that worked through the night. He loved it all. It was nice that his webs were natural and they, like mentioned before, they also came with electricity.

His enemies hated him, but (Y/N) loved being Spiderman. He loved what he represented in New York and he wouldn't change it for anything in the world. He is a New Yorker through and through.

But life decided to be a bitch and strike that luck and happiness.

(Y/N)'s mom passed away. She was hit by a drunk driver. The worst thing is, the driver survived. When Bruce got the news, he got into the car and drove to New York. (Y/N) was told just before Bruce came and (Y/N) felt his soul shatter.

He broke down in Bruce's arms, crying and screaming. It took him a while to calm down, but he couldn't stay alone. Bruce knew that and he knew that going back to Gotham was not an option now. At all. Bruce called Alfred and explained everything and told him that he would stay to arrange the funeral.

Alfred understood and the brother called (Y/N), wishing that they could be there. (Y/N) thanked them for it and then sat up all night, unable to sleep. Bruce tried to comfort him in the best way possible, but it was difficult. Bruce's former fling, (Y/N)'s mom, was the most important person to (Y/N). Without a doubt.

Bruce knew that he would have to bury her in New York, otherwise his son would have raised hell. Without a doubt. After funeral, (Y/N) would have to move to Gotham. Which is another problem on its own. Bruce didn't know that (Y/N) was Spiderman and (Y/N) didn't know that Bruce was Batman.

Match made in hell, so to say.

The funeral was held a few days after the incident and (Y/N) thought that New York cried with him. The sky was dark and the rain was falling. (Y/N) was torn. There were way to many people who were saying sorry and while he appreciated the care and worry, he just wanted to say goodbye on his own.

His brothers have stood it with him. (Y/N) didn't even have the courage to be next to the grave, while they lowered it, but Bruce held him hand through it, keeping him close to him during the entire process.

At the end, he found some strength and came closer, allowing the rain to soak him. It felt appropriate. When she was lowered, (Y/N) threw a rose in there and wiped his eyes. He took a deep breath as they started putting dirt over her coffin and (Y/N) never felt so mad. Why did this happen to him? To him out of all people?!

Bruce recognized that look in (Y/N)'s eyes. He knew that rage, sadness and frustration in his eyes. It was going to be difficult to let go and have a new life in Gotham. But (Y/N) had to try. He had to put some effort.

" (Y/N), we have to go. " Bruce said gently as he shielded his son from the rain with an umbrella. (Y/N) kept looking as the coffin got buried under the dirt. He swallowed before nodding and following Bruce to the car.

" Why do I have to go to Gotham? " (Y/N) asked and Bruce sighed as he started driving.

" We have been over this. I have a company there and your brothers are there. I know you don't want to leave, I know that, but you have no choice. " Bruce explained as he drove and (Y/N) turned away from him, biting down on his tongue so that he wouldn't lash out against Bruce.

" I know you are not happy, but you will be happy in Gotham. "

" Sure. In a city ran by a clown and a bat. Sounds like heaven. " (Y/N) said sarcastically.

" It's actually a nice city once you live in it long enough. "

(Y/N) huffed, but kept his mouth shut. He didn't want to lash out at his father, he really didn't. His dad was doing something he needed and Bruce wasn't at fault.

It was the driver's fault.

But he was pissed and he just wanted to be alone. Bruce saw it and didn't say anything, driving back to Gotham. It was the most awkward drive Bruce has ever done in his life. The hour was quiet and once they parked in the yard of the manor, (Y/N) took a bag with his personal stuff, his Spiderman suit included, and made a beeline for his room.

He ran past everybody and they all looked at him with sad looks.

" Do you think he will be better soon? " Dick asked, glancing at Bruce.

" I don't know Dick. He is sensitive and he will need some time to process it. I don't think I can even introduce him to our line of work. He found justice, they got the driver. " Bruce said as he rubbed his chin and the boys had to agree to a certain agree.

" He just needs some time. The first few days are the toughest. He will get better as times passes. " Alfred said as he took one of the boxes out.

Those few days have passed and (Y/N) didn't really feel good. He didn't like the fact he is starting a new school year here, without his friends and a sense of familiarity. He would have to start a new, without... He cried a lot during the time and he just wore black. Alfred had to make sure he ate and Bruce was there to comfort him and make sure he is okay.

Another thing that was painful, alongside his mother's death was the fact that he couldn't be Spiderman. He couldn't go out, he couldn't save his fellow New Yorkers or chat with them. He saw the news talking about his absence and he wanted nothing more than to go back to New York.

Nothing more.

But... There is a problem called big brothers plus a dad.

They were always around, watching him. Always popping in his room to make sure he is okay and not hungry, knowing that eating wasn't easy. Everyone popped in to make sure he is okay. (Y/N) was sure they thought he would hurt himself somehow, but he wasn't doing that.

He would often sit down in his room, when he knew that his family was on patrol, he would take his suit out. He would watch the spider symbol, wishing he could be back in New York. Gotham was nothing compared to New York. New York was much better, still is better than this city. New York is alive, vibrant, full of colors.

And then you have Gotham.

But (Y/N) has had enough after 2 weeks. With a little bit sneaking around, he managed to buy a ticket, his suit underneath the normal clothes he was wearing. While his family was on patrol, he sneaked out and made his way to the station to leave. He was happy, but it was bitter sweet. It would remind him of the things he loved and yet... It would remind him of his mother.

He had actually had some money left for a few flowers to lay on her grave... (Y/N) put his head on the window, watching the scenery change. Left his phone at home so that they couldn't track him, so he spent his time looking out the window and stretching.

After a few hours, (Y/N) has arrived. He smiled as he saw his city. He took a deep breath in and walked around, just remembering the time in his city.

" My apologies New York. " (Y/N) mumbled as he started walking to the cemetery. It would be a long walk, but he had time. He really did. Once he came, the flower shop was open and he has paid with cash, making it difficult to track him. After getting a beautiful bouquet he walked to his mom's grave. He put them down and smiled...

Bittersweet beyond belief.

He kept knelt down on one knee, smiling at the gravestone. He smiled and wiped some of his tears away, not wanting to cry.

" Hey mom. I'm back. Dad wanted me to move, but I think I will stay here. " (Y/N) said as he got up and started walking to his apartment. He missed it, he really did. He could only hope that it's unlocked, but his neighbor had an extra key. He knew it.

And she loved him.

While (Y/N) was happy, the family wasn't really paying attention whether or not (Y/N) was in his room. They were thinking that he has slept. They couldn't have been more wrong about it. (Y/N) already had a whole night ahead of him as an advantage.

Alfred went to check and a few minutes later and he called out for Bruce in a panic. Everyone dropped the cutlery and ran upstairs to see if their butler was safe. Jason and Tim nearly tumbled over one another more than once. Damian jumped in first, ready to fight with the non existent intruder.

They were all shocked to see that there was no intruder. Another problem? There was no (Y/N). Jason checked the bathroom.

" Not in here. " He declared, closing the door.

Bruce wondered what the hell happened. Oh no. Where is he?

" Did anyone see him? " Bruce asked his sons, leaning on the wall.

" No... I thought he was in here. " Tim said as he looked out the window. " Where is he even? " Tim wondered. Bruce pondered for a moment.

" Lets go to the cave and check the cameras. " Bruce said as he pushed himself off of the wall. Everyone followed and soon, they were looking through the cameras.

They all paled when they saw that he went to the city. Bruce pulled all of the cameras he could and thanked God for facial recognition. He pulled it all to find (Y/N).

" Why did he escape? " Dick wondered out aloud. Was it the fact that they were checking on him too much? Was he smothered? Did they smother him?

" Shit. " Jason said next to Bruce as the two watched the screen. Everyone turned their heads to look at the screen. A train station. Bruce connected it.

" He went to New York. " Bruce said as he tracked (Y/N)'s phone.

" What the hell? " Tim wondered out loud.

Everyone frowned when the location turned out to be the manor. Everyone was now worried.

" He has to be in New York. He has to be. " Damian declared and everyone had to agree with it. They knew that (Y/N) coming here wasn't his choice and that he wanted to stay back in New York. Bruce couldn't blame (Y/N) for any of it, nobody could blame (Y/N) for trying to run to New York.

" He has an entire night as an advantage. " Damian said and everyone has agreed with him. That is one hell of an advantage.

" I'm not sure whether or not to be proud. " Bruce said, trying not to smile.

" A mixture of both. He passed the security. " Jason mumbled and Bruce chuckled.

" Yeah, I have to be a mixture of both. Lets do some more investigating and then lets go to New York at night. " Bruce said and everyone nodded.

(Y/N) has had fun during the day, but it seems that Green Goblin wasn't happy with the fact that he was gone out of their city. The fight has been going on for a while and (Y/N) was slowly getting exhausted. Ever so slowly.

(Y/N) knew that he couldn't lose his cool now. That's something that Green Goblin wanted him to do this entire fight. Green Goblin was taunting him and by God, (Y/N) was ready to kill. His wrists were hurting like never before.

He was ready to strike once more when he saw a familiar face. His dad and his brothers. Oh God. Were they all looking for him. They landed near him and (Y/N) swore that his heart was about to jump out of his chest. He really thought so.

" Hey Spidey, you need help? " Dick, well, Nightwing asked and (Y/N) shrugged his shoulders. " Could use some backup. " (Y/N) said, voice breathy.

" Arch nemesis? " Damian, well, Robin asked.

" Yup. "

" Sounds tough. " Dick said and (Y/N) got ready to strike once more. He saw an opening and took it.

(Y/N) was struck and he flew back onto the rooftop and something fell of as he landed. He couldn't pinpoint it, but every part of him screamed that something was wrong. He froze when he saw his father, covering them both with his big cape.

" (Y/N), why didn't you tell us? Is this why you didn't want to leave? " Bruce asked, glancing at his son, trying to see if he was injured.

" I... I didn't know how to... " (Y/N) admitted shyly, looking away from his dad.

" I'm not blaming you. But we have to talk about this later. We can't just leave it like this. Put on your mask and lets finish this. " Bruce said with a firm voice and (Y/N) nodded as he did so and with the help from Bruce, got up.

" Lets get the bastard. " (Y/N) said with so much determination and Bruce smiled proudly. He really is his son with that much determination.

The fight was tiring beyond belief, but the Batfamily was determined and persistent. And Green Goblin wasn't expecting the back up that (Y/N) has gotten out of nowhere. Soon, Green Goblin was taken into custody. Now it was all good. All good.

If you remember that (Y/N)'s family was still there, waiting to talk to him. He didn't really want to talk, he just wanted to avoid it. He didn't want to. By God, he wanted to go to sleep. But he knew that talk would happen eventually.

" Now, " Bruce started as he glanced at everyone. " I'm not mad you, but... You could have told us. We told you. " (Y/N) tried to say something, but Bruce stopped him. " Now, what happened happened. However, you can use your talents back in Gotham. "

(Y/N) shifted on his feet, nervous about it.

" No need to worry (Y/N). " Jason started, hands on his hips. " NYPD is more capable than GCPD. "

Everyone laughed at it. To some extent it's true, but (Y/N) wasn't convinced.

" You don't have to lose your Spider symbol. You can keep being Spiderman. You can be a spider and the rest can be birds. " Bruce said as he put his hand on (Y/N) shoulder.

" It's difficult to leave my city behind. " (Y/N) admitted and Bruce nodded in sympathy. The brothers hugged their brother, hugging him tightly.

They all were saying something, but (Y/N) couldn't understand. But he knew that they were all saying something positive.

" Now, lets go home and get you situated. " Bruce said and (Y/N) just looked at the sun.

" It weird to see you guys in this time of the day. " (Y/N) mumbled as he was led to the Batmobile. Everyone laughed at that. It was true. He really didn't want to leave New York city, but he knew that he could help them in Gotham.

He knew it would work out in the end.

[yanderes-galore]

Yandere Anakin who’s fallen for a senator reader , the only problem is that she’s in an arranged marriage to someone else !! 😲 love to hear your thoughts and I hope your doing ok 

Oh boy, this is going to be so problematic.... GIF may be Clone Wars, but this is just in general. Him and Padmé aren't together in this concept.

Yandere! Anakin Skywalker with Senator! Darling

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Female Darling, Obsession, Overprotective behavior, Stalking, Possessive behavior, Manipulation, Assassination, Anakin screws up politics/probably starts a war because he loves you too much, Dubious relationship.

You first met Anakin when he was assigned as your personal protector by the Jedi Council.

Naturally, as a Senator, you'd need protection from potential assassinations.

Any government has its corruption, so you'd need some sort of extra protection.

Especially due to your arranged marriage to create good political ties between two planets.

You're a human Senator that was selected to marry another for the sake of keeping up peace.

Not everyone is on board with such a marriage, and due to your influence in the Senate, people naturally want you dead.

Which leads to Anakin being sent to guard you.

At first, Anakin may not care about your arranged marriage.

But the longer he's around you... He feels increasingly envious.

It takes time, your arranged marriage doesn't actually occur until months after you have Anakin as your personal guard.

Relationships and personal connections are banned within the Jedi Order.

So, Anakin having feelings for you is immediately wrong.

Not only that, but you're set to marry someone else.

Which is even more wrong.

Safe to say, you are someone Anakin can't have.

Or... shouldn't have... even if he wants that.

By this point, Anakin is still mostly devoted to the Jedi Order.

He knows while his feelings are normal... He can't act on them.

He's a guard, staying beside you to prevent assassination attempts or Sith attacks.

Despite this... You two share conversation often.

How could you not? Your guard is with you all the time.

You often chat while you read in the libraries or do your usual tasks.

Both of you are bound by duty, might as well make the most of it.

Naturally the conversation is about duty... which leads into your arranged marriage.

Anakin can't help but bring it up.

He's drawn to the conversation topic, often asking if you're happy about it and if you're nervous.

You humor him by answering questions, not expecting much from it.

Not like he as a Jedi can do anything about it except protect you.

Your responses are often off-handed as you're invested in some book or meeting material.

There's a couple times you meet your betrothed, usually for political matters.

He's a decent man, most likely a human like you to be able to produce children.

Each meeting you have with your betrothed makes Anakin seethe.

The Jedi can't believe he's glaring at your fiancé with so much hate.

He shouldn't have such feelings of envy.

However... Anakin has always been an individual controlled by emotion.

Why else do you think he becomes a Sith?

He feels your marriage is forced, regardless of if you like the guy or not.

He wants you safe and happy.

Something Anakin feels he could do for you.

Anakin wishes you two could both run away from your responsibilities.

Unfortunately, you're very attentive to your duty as a Senator.

Even if Anakin admitted how he feels, you'd turn him down.

He's your guard, that is all...

He hates it.

Like the Sith, this whole situation fills him with hate.

Anakin would most likely try to manipulate you into giving in and running from him.

Yet, if you're not interested in him, then he might have to resort to other means.

I can't tell if this is too OOC or not, but imagine if an assassination was planned against your betrothed.

Anakin knows he should probably tell someone or prevent it (if he himself didn't orchestrate it)... but what if he's selfish enough to not?

What if Anakin allows the assassination of your betrothed to occur?

He'd never let an assassin near you.

But your betrothed? He could care less.

You may be devastated, yet Anakin stays stoic.

He pretends he isn't elated that your betrothed is dead.

Instead, he says it isn't safe anymore... you need to go into hiding.

Yes, Anakin could care less about the political issues any of this causes.

It's even worse if Anakin somehow helped in it and now two sides blame one another.

Insert possible war here.

All Anakin cares about is taking advantage of the situation.

It's selfish, it's so damn selfish, but for now he has you all to himself?

While you're in hiding... He just has to convince you to love him....

Surely you'll fall for him since he's protecting you?

He's careful with it, trying to be subtle and make you fall for him on your own.

He's desperate....

If you're concerned about him in the Order... things can be secret!

That... or maybe he'll just leave?

I would say this feels OOC... but considering what Anakin does in the future... It's not too far-fetched?

Overall, Anakin would try to suffocate his feelings due to the duty of both of you.

Yet the moment he gets the chance to act on them, murder or not...?

He'll take that chance in a heartbeat.

[explodingchantry]

Anders isn't my problematic fave because he isn't problematic. I think the wider concept of anders being 'wrong' the fandom has is a clear example of how biased the writing has been in the games. It's the same reason why people hate Jowan, or why they think the kinloch hold mages were stupid. There's a clear bias in the writing and framing of it all that guides the player towards feeling negatively.

The majority of answers you can give Jowan in Dao are negative, mocking, or downright insulting. The ones who aren't are just... Neutral. You can be a bit sympathetic to him in the circle origin but by the time you meed him in redcliff most of your dialogue choices are so fucking mean. In my replay I was trying desperately to be nice and sympathetic to him but the best you can do is be neutral and let him go but for every rude dialogue option there is no "you've been through something horrible, I'm sorry" or "you were manipulated, loghain took advantage of your vulnerability, I'm sorry" it's soooooo.

Likewise, I always make sure to speak to every single npc in the mage origins and the One mention of uldred before the broken circle quest is from the one mage who tells you about the different political faction enchanters are in, and it's with absolute disdain. That mage thinks uldred is annoying and it's implied that the other enchanters think so, too. Uldred who was an activist for mage liberation is treated as annoying for being an activist.

Then he turns out to be a blood mage and to have killed the majority of the circle, turning them into abominations. The message is clear: those who seek liberation are wicked. In the first game of the series, thus in the game which introduced the concept of circles at all, their existence is justified by the text. It overtly says: look at all those foolish mages, how dangerous they can be when One of them is wicked. Can you imagine if they were free? Can you imagine those abominations' destruction if they were out in the open?

Something similar happens in the mage origin, with Jowan. Through the whole origin, whilst Jowan is painted as annoying, he's definitely seen as a victim. Up until he uses blood magic, that is. Suddenly, the player is likely supposed to think "oh, so they were right to want to make him tranquil after all". Instead of being a way to show that the circle will often turn innocent mages tranquil, it shows you that greagoir was right to distrust Jowan, because he was indeed a blood mage. Instead of showing you how paranoid those in power are about mages, the writing justifies their fear and hatred.

Bear in mind this is the first game and likely the very first thing that happens to a lot of new players. The game does not expect you to know the intricacies of its lore yet, doesn't expect you to understand that blood magic is actually fucking neutral unless you sacrifice people for it. You might be tempted to argue that it's setting up for that realisation later and for you to feel bad about Jowan later, realizing he was led to blood magic because it was his only solution, because he and all other mages are caged like dogs (except this is ferelden, so the dogs are better treated than them). But then you've got the redcliff fiasco where it's obvious the writers expect you to fucking hate his guts

And while dragon age 2 is more overt in its depiction of mage suffering, it also tries to pass on the idea that kirkwall is a special case, that it's only the gallows that are this bad. That it's just Meredith whose craaazeyyy 🤪 and not just Meredith being a product of a corrupt system. The writers expect you to think of Anders as an unstable extremist, or as his writer puts it, a "bipolar terrorist" (note that ofc there's nothing fucking wrong with being bipolar, but I don't think his writer cares!)

With different writers and the exact same set of events, Anders blowing up the chantry would be easily recognized as a positive, as an act of justice, of rightful rebellion. Instead it's seen as a tragedy, a mistake. Instead Anders is categorized as a villain, morally grey even though Hawke themselves has a higher death toll than he ever will.

It's a lesson, I think. In narrative bias.