#and then it progressed to constantly hurting
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Sonic, Amy, and the Koco Lovers
In Frontiers, Amy gets Sonic to help her give the Koco closure so they can move on from their haunted shells. One quest in particular revolves around reuniting a Koco with her lover before it's too late. Since they were too shy in life to confess, they might have a chance at being together in the next life.
Immediately this situation reminds the Sonamy fans who've been here from the beginning about the infamous Q&A magazine section where Team Sonic says & I Quote: "Although Sonic is clearly interested in her, Sonic has always been too shy to declare his feelings."
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(Image not mine, but it's the highest quality I've found thus far.)
What a coincidence that Sonic and Amy would be helping a haunted love story find its rightful conclusion that so similarly mirrors their own. With Sonic in the past literally running away from Amy's advancements yet undeniably harboring the same feelings for her as she does for him. His pride and private personality often conflicting with his true thoughts about romantic love. We all know how Amy loves Sonic unconditionally and how over time her love transformed from being a girlhood crush to being a mature love.
Amy is far from being shy, but the Koco Lovers' predicament seems like a callout for Sonic about his relationship with Amy being stuck in a romantic limbo. Constantly teetering between friendship and true commitment.
When Sonic tries to get Amy to leave the Koco alone to figure out things on their own, while literally gesturing to the Koco trying to find her lost lover, Amy yells at him that they have to see it through. When she asks if he would leave behind someone in need, when one of the many reasons why she loves him is because he will help those in need, he says no BUT he's also worried about her. All the while gazing at her like THIS:
This is by far the most vulnerable we've ever seen him with Amy in the entire series. BY FAR. He's not the type of guy to give up on anyone who needs help, but he's so worried about her and the fact that she's stuck in a digital limbo that he hasn't made any progress in getting her out of yet. She's so focused on helping others that Sonic reminds her that she can't truly help anyone in her current state. After thinking on his words she agrees and tells him to hurry up and rescue her so that way they can find Tails. He grins and tells her it sounds simple enough.
Little did they know they were about to unknowingly see the heartbreaking reuniting between the ghost shelled lovers. They're given a flashback to the moment when they reunited on the field of a warzone. The romantic surrounding of flowers their final resting spot as they share their first and last embrace. Amy doesn't understand what's going on and thinks it's happening in real time and Sonic has to hold her back from possibly getting hurt herself. When the flashback is over Amy rushes to where the Koco rushed to meet her lover for them to find the ghost shells together at last for their proper rest.
Sonic turns his attention to Amy as she sinks to her knees and softly laments that they were reunited right before their death. Knowing how too close to home this situation was for her, he gazed in silence for a moment thinking about what he's going to say before reassuring her that they were together now. He lets her grieve for a moment while he explores the area around them to look for more clues. But you can clearly tell that the flashback had an emotional impact on him as well.
When he comes back to check up on her, she tells him that they witnessed a love that transcended time and that she knew she wanted to share that love story with the world. Even though it may take them far apart.
*SCREECHING CAR BREAK*
She's no longer talking about the Koco lovers. She's talking about THEM. AS IN HER AND SONIC.
She's telling Sonic that she knows what she wants to do after everything is over and how they might not see each other again for some time until she returns. Who knows where she'll go or how long she'll be gone for. But she wants to journey by herself or with a small group to tell others about the power of this love story she witnessed. When she comes to that painful conclusion she's conflicted and grieved.
That is, until Sonic kneels down and looks at her like this:
And tells her he knows she'll do great and that he wants to hear all about it when she comes back. Smiling at her and giving her a nod when she gazes back up into his eyes.
I DON'T THINK YOU GET IT: AMY BASICALLY SAID "I WANT TO LEAVE TO SHARE THIS LOVE STORY BUT WE WON'T BE TOGETHER AND THAT SCARES ME." AND SONIC'S RESPONSE WAS "NO MATTER HOW FAR APART WE ARE OR HOW LONG YOU'RE GONE - I'LL BE WAITING FOR YOU & I WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR ADVENTURE WHEN YOU GET BACK."
Along with Amy's desire to share the Koco Lovers' story, there's a silent question within her declaration. Unlike in the past where she openly and proudly proclaimed herself to be Sonic's Girlfriend to everyone around her and how he was hers like some kind of trophy, When she says "It may take us far apart." she's asking him if he loves her the same way. Not as a friend but as a Lover.
Now in the rare trigger lines that you can find within the game, there's a moment where Sonic says "Amy...I should've made up my mind sooner." implying his conflicted thoughts about confessing his feelings for her and keeping his "Free as the Wind" lifestyle. But after everything that happened, I believe that he was finally ready to give her a real response.
Which was: "I know you'll do great. I want to hear all about it when you come back."
With the silent answer to her silent question about if he loves her too being: "I do and I'll be waiting for you to return to me."
Which is why you see her eyes grow wide at his response. Because he didn't joke his way out of it or tell her she was talking crazy about calling them lovers. He accepted her, truly accepted her at long last and was ready to give her his heart fully.
It really puts into perspective that Amy's memory tokens were literal HEARTS and the final quest before the big showdown was the Koco lovers.
Sonic's first "Trial" was love. His reward for completing that trial was finally moving forward in his relationship with Amy.
#Sonic#Sonic the Hedgehog#Sonic Frontiers#Amy Rose#Sonamy#Pro Sonamy#Sonic x Amy#Amy x Sonic#Sonic and Amy#Amy and Sonic#Long Post#Sonic Frontiers Spoilers
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Sometimes you just have to be a lil shit about a piece of media you enjoy in a loving way lol dumpster fire (affectionate)
Been watching OSP stuff again 'cause I was talking about one of their Superman vids and how they mention Invincible in it, and just that some of the ideas of the Superman concept really should come back around for the Mark narrative but they are def going farther and farther as things progress from what could have been an interesting Superman-esque origin in Mark. And like, do your thing, but it was clearly a reference at the start, so... why NOT lean more into it?
I know I've seen chunks of BTAS and Batman Beyond, but it's all so blurry in my brain from so long ago. I remember enjoying the shit out of them! It's why I'm having a treat with Justice Leauge rn. Bc it's like, have I see this before? maybe? at some point? Like I have the vaguest recollection of the opening credits. Zero memory of Martian Manhunter (J'onn J'onnz ?? the fuck ?? lol) having so many abilities. like damn bro. you cool asf! The very simple visual worldbuilding of all Martians being nakey bc THEY'RE SHAPESHIFTERS WHY WOULDN'T THEY BE loved it
Lazy shipping. And like.. just horny shipping. Like okay, I can be down for a UST narrative, but if you want me to buy these people have more than a case of the Horny for each other, they need to be able to describe something about each other they actually like. (I also have a whole ass rant about the Gift Of Jewelry in media -eyetwtich-) And Mark and Eve are constantly in interesting situations actually dealing with ethical shit and they could have spent so much time talking about Chicago and what cleaning up there would have meant to them, and how they operate as heroes sort of outside the establish groups for whatever reason, and they could have very naturally gravitated to each other! It really is a HS crush in this iteration !! bc the moment Mark looked at her he was just like ! oh ! hero is cute girl ! and then.. had a very intense relationship with someone else and then immediately turned around and was presented with this one. It has technically been months in the time span of the narrative, but the fact it was all shoved in and carried off RIGHT ON THE BACK of his very intense break up with Amber just feels awful. Let the boy breathe jfc.
So many people are talking about Mark supposedly improving but still not improving and it HURTS bc yeah. The narrative is really just like ACTUALLY- and it's so frustrating bc, your character can improve and the situation can still be deadly! Doc Seismic doesn't need some stupid line about things changing! They DIDN'T he's still an old man with bracelets. They just STAYED FLOATING IN THE AIR and waited for his back up to arrive and then pointlessly got into fist fights with the monsters instead of immediately going to rescue the other heroes. I can get Mark sort of zeroing in on the fighting bc he doesn't really work with other people that much, but Eve ??? why the hell isn't saving the others your priority?? The fight could still have played out badly without them needing to be stupid! Mark having to protect Eve while she works ! Them having to be on the back foot so that the people in the sack things don't get squished while they work ! You don't have to be dumb to fail. And so far it really feels like everyone is acting SO STUPID and they HAVE To fail bc it's so hard when it's like ?? the same ppl you've been fighting ?? since day one ?? Is Killcannon gunna show up and shoot you through a building now ?? I'm sorry??
We really need a Debbie/Nolan flashback that's about their dynamic and NOT their dynamic as parents. Like what was your vibe as a couple!! Love that you're horny for each other, but why did you fall in love??? Of course I am also just like CAN I PLEASE GET ONE DEBBIE FACT THAT ISN'T ABOUT THE MEN IN HER LIFE. Also, pretty sure anytime she has been around Paul the convo is in some way, actually still about Nolan and it's WILD bc damn is it really moving on if he's present in Every conversation??
Invincible (derogatory) Invincible (affectionate) depends on the time of day.
Like there's no way Cecil ISN'T using it to his benefit! But him actually caring somewhat, even knowing he would STILL betray and sacrifice the kid in a heartbeat. just. yeah. Mentor Cecil/quasi father Cecil. might happen.
The several convos we've had about trusting Cecil are SO WEIRD bc literally anytime Debbie has talked to him she has been like I DO NOT TRUST YOU and then five seconds later she's all That Bitch Lied : / and it's like ??? yes ?? you said he would ?? five seconds ago ??? why are you surprised ???
FR you don't get history classes about colonialism and police states but WE WILL make you watch teletubbies and learn about the magic of friendship! Killing is BAD kids ! Don't do it ! (unless the GDA tells you to)
While I'm not too familiar with the DCU- your batfam meta posts are intiguing- so in transfering some of the broader strokes from them- I think you tackling a 'Mark isn't Nolan's biological son' fic would be fascinating. Sort of a step to the side of the 'what if Mark never got his powers' fic that sometimes pop up in the fandom
OOOOOO chewing on this currently, hm, the much a distinct flavor of exactly what you’re talking about, but the potential for more family drama depending on WHO knows. Does Mark know?? Is he waiting every day only to be crushed? Does he confused non-Debbie features with Nolan’s? I suppose I’m not the most enthusiastic about non-power AUs, but I think there’s something very fun to explore about Mark having to settle with, if he knows all his life, he will never have powers? I think the trajectory of his dreams will obviously shift, I can see him still having that distinct fatherly idolization, but perhaps embraces being useful to the GDA? Cecil’s number one intern—only intern—curtesy of nepotism, ha! There is something tickling me about Mark taking the Robin Route/Role for the Teen Team in terms of having no powers, just insane skills, BUT there’s something way more delicious about intern Mark when s1e01 happens and Mark tries snooping around to find out the truth about what happened to his Dad.
I wonder if, with Mark having a whole another father, if they’re more or less distant relationship, depending on WHEN Nolan entered Mark’s life? Like if Debbie met Nolan later for this, or just for fun, they dated once, separated (Mark being born during then), then they happened to stumble into each others lives again and Mark’s already been born, anywhere from tween to teenager so there’s a gap in how close they are. I feel like one important aspect of the whole Family Drama is how close they’re supposed to be, a functional, loving family turned upside down? So I wonder what more distance does. I wonder how Nolan copes when his family is entirely human and he can’t project onto Mark.
I love thinking about these, omg.
#invincible chatter#love how we've got these going AND STILL added more w the AO3 threads now lmao#endless fractals of worldbuilding and smack talk (affectionate)
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my wrist has been hurting really bad for like three weeks now and it is not getting better at all i think it’s getting worse and i really wanna go see a dr but i’m worried they’ll want to do x-rays or some other kind of scan which i simply can’t afford right now. or if they want to send me to some form of physical therapy i can’t afford that either
#is this the american dream orrrrrrr#:|#it hurts so bad. for a while it only hurt if i moved it a certain way or lifted something heavy#and then it progressed to constantly hurting#and now any time i move it at all im in a LOT of pain#i almost cried in the shower from how bad it hurts cause i twisted my wrist wrong trying to get out some body wash#idk maybe they’d just say to rest it but i literally cannot do that either due to the nature of my job#and id still have to pay for the co pay either way#idrk what to do at this point :’)#i guess just be in pain forever#?#it hurts so bad orz#i think i hurt it at work too but i just brushed it off as nothing like i get small little booboos all the time at work#so i probably even file for workers comp or anything. if they’d even accept it#snow.txt
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I’m chronically ill. I’m a figure skater. I use a cane when I’m not skating cause I have really severe chronic pain that gets especially flared up by any warmth. And this morning I had the bright idea of “guys, fall is coming, I’m gonna go on a run this morning. Just a quick 10 minute run.” I then went on said run (against all better judgement telling me “this is going to be bad for you later, you’re allowed to let your body rest, you’re already athletic, you don’t need to prove that to anyone, you need to stop ignoring your health.”).
For context I live in Texas. And I only get pain relief in very cold environments (such as the rink). It was 78° at 6am. And humid. I’m flared up to no tomorrow. I only ran for 10 minutes and when I got out of the shower I fell over immediately and sublexed my hip. I just don’t know what to say really. Why does taking care of myself hurt so bad?
#Kinda interanlized ableism?#Kinda just need some comfort and reassurance rn#Or just general advice and reason#I know I don’t need to prove to anyone I’m an athlete#I skate almost every day. And I’m damn good at it. But having these conditions makes me feel like I’m living two different lives#In one I’m an athlete and strong and can skate for hours becaus of the cold#And in the other (off ice) it hurts to walk without a cane. I dislocate things constantly. My symptoms progress daily.#And it makes me feel like I’m faking it because ‘Oh I can still skate’ even though I know I’m not faking#it’s just so frustrating#hypermobile ehlers danlos syndrome#fibromyalgia#cane user#Chronic pain#chronic illness#hEDS#Disabled#Disability#physically disabled#Disabled athlete#internalized ableism#heat sensitivity#Figure skater#Figure skating
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#cw vent#maybe i stayed up too late but suddenly i feel like crying#like really badly#i tried very hard today#but im still so scared#of everything#im being watched. i am absolutely sure im being watched#i can feel somebodys presence over my shoulder now and they can probably read what im typing#its been like this for so long#and#as im typing this it has been the sixteenth of juky for about two hours#twenty two hours left until my birthday#i will be sixteen#that is scaring me so much#i haven't progressed since i was maybe eleven#i still can't take care of mysekf. i shouldn't ve admitting to this but i genuinely can't do basic actions#i constantly forget to keep my body in a safe state. my hair is so messy. i get tok focused on other stuff and most of the time i just#forget to shower#i am genuinely so disgusting and unhygienic. i know this and want to fix it#but also.. i just wish i was like just an internet person#if i didn't have to eat or maintain my body i think id be a much happier person#im scared#how can i possibly be turning 16. i haven't even learnt how to eat food yet#most meals i can't eat without gagging or feeling like vomiting#i don't know why im typing all this out#for a while i was okay with it being my birthday soon. because i thought i would finally get attention and love from others#but im starting to realise that probably will not be happening#:[#why am i typing this out. my head hurts#and im gonna die
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my mom signed my christmas presents with year with dante/my dead name and yknow what. thats progress.
#my mom is lowkey finally coming around to me being trans and shes recognizing my behavior in childhood was pretty indicative of that#other day we were talking abt it and she said “yeah you always seemed to have an innate sadness to you growing up about who you are-#“-and you seemed constantly scared of the idea of womanhood. i thought that just meant you didnt wanna grow up#“-never wouldve pieced together it was because you were having an identity crisis.”#shes also starting to really listen to trans voices online and lean into debates and has been educating my grandma as well#my mom has always been open minded so this isnt surprising#didnt expect it tho because she was so quick to be invalidating and put extra effort into misgendering me when i came out years ago#progress is progress though and I do believe people can change and she isnt denying having been hurtful and ignorant before#i very appreciate that#anyway yeah lil personal ramble in the tags
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You want to know how bad my memory is?
I was writing last night and I just straight up forgot that Sanji exists. I have been watching this show since 2012, he was my fave Strawhat outside of Luffy pre-TS, and I FORGOT HE EXISTED.
I was like 'hm yes well the ones who would understand are Nami and Robin... W- wasn't there one more I was thinking of a moment ago? Wasn't there another one who'd Get It?????'
'it's not Chopper. Definitely not Usopp. And it's not Zoro. That's all the remaining Strawhats at this point in the story. So... Why am I convinced I'm forgetting someone? Let's go through the arcs in my head agai- OH MY GOD, I FORGOT SANJI'
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#When I tell you my memory is shit... 😭 I used to own a Sanji shirt. What the fuck??#When that post about the memory issues finally leaves my queue#Like I joke about it but this shit can be genuinely terrifying. Like knowing my brain is getting worse. Knowing I'm probably forgetting#Seriously important things and just 'oops I can't remember haha'#It's scary.#I'll never get better because I'll just relive the pain over and over because my brain refuses to remember the help and progress I make#Every day I wake up back at step 1 it's so depressing and scary and horrifying and I hate it#I can never process anything bc I just forget and if I do remember it's like a punch to the chest for the first time every time#And people get SO sick of you after a while. Constantly asking for help. Never remembering anything. They get so annoyed with you.#Anyway. On a lighter note (not actually) I'm trying out a new one-shot :)#Not to speak ill of the 'soon-to-be' dead but Garp was a shit grandfather#So I was like What If Me And Luffy Had The Same Reaction#Because self love starts in recognizing your self through the other god damn it#Even if I finish this idk if I'll post it bc of how personal it is but it has been very cathartic to write#Then again I could just publish it anonymously so my irl friends won't see it. No harm no foul.#I (kid) once pushed my mom (grown adult) out of my room when she caused me to have a meltdown so I could 100% see Luffy doing the same thin#In my defense she had a habit of taunting me and destroying my stuff to punish me after inciting meltdowns and I just wanted to be alone#I was like 7 years old at the time (hell year hell year) so I doubt I actually hurt her. She just looked surprised. I remember that.#Sometimes I wonder why I identify so much with werewolves and then I remember ah yes. The childhood of being treated like a monster.#Like a freak because when people kept pushing your boundaries you'd rather bite than let them do whatever they want to you#Oh boo hoo such a terrible thing for a child to be... Protective of themselves...#ANYWAY. like I said this wasn't going to be much lighter.#I want Luffy to punch the lights out of Garp to protect his friends. Not even in-canon just in this fic#Ik in-canon Garp is a complex guy and loads of fans love him but... Smash eggs make sandwiches know what I'm saying?#Yeah GROOVY
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Well, one year to go
#well at least im trying for that#ive scheduled round two for alaska and hopefully i see the lights this time#and my second favorite band announced yesterday they're coming here with guess who? another of my favorite bands#(blackbriar and battle beast may 2024)#i literally said the other day id be happy if i got to see them and now they're coming! can you believe it#but im tired...my health has plummeted and i am not doing well#im not going to last#ive just got to hold out for these last bucket list items#so im trying for the auora again in september around the equinox#ugh it's so bad im hooked up to shit all day now and constantly have to monitor tachycardia for instance#im exhausted. i can barely breathe. it hurts so much. i never stop shaking and spasming now#but hey ive started playing dnd...finally found a group. so that's crossed off my list too and it's been very fun so far#i need to get the motivation to read all the books i want to read#it aint in my control though...i just have to hope i can hold out until september#ive been trying lots of new foods but there's still so much more i want to try#but yeah im tired...every day i wake up from pain and feel like im going to die...if i sleep at all#even clare has given up it's progressed too much#but im trying. im trying#and ive been gathering all our family photos and things so theyll have memories#me and my dad take a selfie every time he visits too#idk. there's not a whole lot i can say without making people sad but it's been so much lately#i struggle to scrape through the pain every day. it's been 14 years. i just want to be free#it's not like i want to die...i just want to be free of the pain and rest finally#wish me luck#p
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It's not that I wish I could stop the process of aging or make people live forever it's just that I wish it didn't have to suck so bad. It sucks that we're a product of our time, forced to live under the circumstances we're born under despite how important a life feels. A lifetime can genuinely just be pain and misery due to circumstances and it's so evil that not everyone gets a fair shot at the only chance they have. It hurts to see a loved one getting older and losing abilities and not knowing what you can do and also just hoping that you are doing the best you can to make their life manageable.
#personal#it hurts having to clean up blood and urine#and worry about if someone is taking their meds correctly or eating or having an episode#or is effectively communicating their needs to other caretakers because im not always available#and i go through physical pain from the psychological pain#and you kind of just hope that they'll pass away in their sleep and not in a pool of their own blood on the floor#and i dont understand how to know the signs. it feels like theres been signs for years.#memory loss. autonomy loss. motor function loss. loss of appetite. constantly cold. no will to live.#it makes it even more scary bcs idk if it's progressive or if its just gonna happen one day#death cw#death
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I haven't been properly keeping up on Chainsaw Man, but I think this is a class thing. devils gain power in correlation to how much they're feared. so if a devil isn't feared very much at all, they're vulnerable (tomato devil). and if they want to increase their power so as to become more secure, they'll go out and cause fear to artificially inflate their power (bat devil). but this method also puts a target on them, because humans also want to protect themselves from fear, and they'll go after the biggest problems first. and especially when it comes to organizations that provide monetary incentives for better fighters... the nail that sticks up gets the hammer (eternity devil). but when a devil is privileged enough to be born of an inherently scary concept that needs no maintenance, they can relax and actually decide on their own likes and dislikes. they don't have to earn their power... they passively have enough that they can just chill and I guess get really invested in eating junk food or going to school. fear is an economy for devils, just like money is for humans... it can result in vulnerability or security in the exact same way.
Chainsaw Man is so ridiculous. Some of the most powerful devils are working to prevent an age of devils because junk food won't exist any more if the human age ends. One of said devils can't actually work to protect junk food, though, because she has school. The more powerful a character is, the pettier their motivations are. I love it so much.
#literally this is the point of starting with Denji as the main character... an impoverished child who has no advantages#he starts out with so many things to be afraid of that it completely desensitizes him#and a fearless human kind of breaks the devil economy#but it also breaks people. fear is an essential emotion that you shouldn't lose.#you literally can't know that you love something if you aren't afraid of losing it. Himeno is a case study for that in relation to Aki.#and it creates this brilliant tension between Denji's power to defeat devils and his quest to develop emotionally.#making progress in one area will decrease his effectiveness in the other... there's an inverse relationship there.#and it all started with Denji getting away from his oppressors and feeling secure enough to want things.#it used to be pointless... he expected anything of value to him to be forfeit immediately.#now that he has the chance to keep things... he has the chance to get hurt by it if he's robbed.#Chainsaw Man is a story about learning what you value and finding a way to keep it#even in a world that constantly wants to take away every piece of you that it can#Denji was literally selling body parts early in the series#and later... devils demand things like an arm or an eye or part of a person's lifespan in their contracts#the value of these things might not even be the thing itself#it's your knowledge that they're capable of taking it from you... it isn't yours#they can lessen your quality of life and even steal the skin off your back#and you don't even have the power to put up a boundary#Chainsaw Man is about economic inequality
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Tips for writing internal conflict
1. Define the Core Dilemma
• Internal conflict occurs when a character faces a choice or emotional struggle within themselves. This dilemma should challenge their values or identity.
• How? The struggle should feel deeply personal and tied to the character’s motivations.
• Example: A character who values independence but must rely on others in a life-or-death situation.
2. Make it tied to their core values
• The conflict should challenge what the character holds dear—whether it’s their morals, desires, or goals.
• How? The inner conflict should push the character to re-evaluate their beliefs and priorities.
• Example: A soldier torn between duty and personal ethics, forced to choose between following orders and doing what’s right.
3. Amplify with external consequences
• Link internal conflict to external consequences that impact the character and those around them. The choices they face should have significant repercussions.
• How? Show how the character’s internal conflict influences their decisions in the real world.
• Example: A character haunted by guilt must choose whether to admit their past mistakes, risking their career and relationships.
4. Show the pressure building over time
• Internal conflict intensifies when it’s compounded by time, increasing stakes, or mounting external pressure.
• How? Create scenes where the character feels the weight of their choices growing heavier with every passing moment.
• Example: A character whose addiction threatens to ruin their life, struggling to break free but tempted by old habits every day.
5. Conflict arises from competing desires
• Internal conflict often stems from having two equally strong desires that cannot coexist.
• How? Put your character in situations where they must choose between these desires, both of which seem vital.
• Example: A character torn between pursuing their dream job across the country or staying to care for a dying parent.
6. Explore their fears and insecurities
• Internal conflict can also be driven by the character’s deepest fears or insecurities, which affect their actions and decisions.
• How? Fear of failure, rejection, or loss can prevent them from acting, making every decision feel like a battle.
• Example: A character who has been hurt before refuses to let anyone in, even though they deeply crave connection.
7. The power of self-sabotage
• Let the character’s internal conflict lead to self-sabotage. They may avoid decisions or create obstacles to protect themselves from facing their own feelings.
• How? Show how the character's fear or internal resistance undermines their progress.
• Example: A character constantly pushes away someone they care about because they fear their own vulnerability.
8. Use internal dialogue to show the battle
• Let readers hear the character’s internal struggle through thoughts, doubts, or justifications. Internal dialogue can make the conflict feel more immediate and real.
• How? Keep the internal dialogue sharp, reflective, and in line with the character’s voice.
• Example: “I want to tell them the truth, but what if they leave? Can I really risk that?”
9. Drive change through resolution
• The internal conflict should lead to growth or change in the character. They should evolve, learn, or make peace with their internal struggle.
• How? The resolution should feel earned and reflect the character’s journey.
• Example: A character who fears commitment learns to trust and embrace vulnerability in the face of love.
10. Let it affect the bigger picture
• The resolution of internal conflict should impact the story’s larger arc, showing how the character’s inner change leads to progress or a new direction.
• How? The resolution should tie back to the theme and forward momentum of the plot.
• Example: A character who learns to forgive themselves is able to take the final step in reconciling with a loved one, mending broken relationships.
Follow for more!
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A relaxing evening
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pairing: lee felix x afab!reader
genre: smut, fluff, roommates to lovers
word count: 3.2k
warnings: soft dom lix, big dick lix, sensual massage, clit play, fingering, squirting, unprotected sex, one light spank, not proofread (lmk if i missed something)
a/n: after spending a month writing a literal 70k+ book for hyunjin i hit a bit of a writer's block and who better to get me out of it than my very own muse, lee felix😏
~ Masterlist
To say you've had a horrible day was an understatement.
You've had the worst day that actually stretched and turned into the worst week.
Your boss was on your neck constantly, there was so much work to do which made you stay at the company working overtime and coming home late.
To make matters worse, everyone was angry and annoyed, so the conflict at work grew into a displeasing feeling that had you desperate for any kind of relief, even just a free afternoon to nap.
Felix, your roommate and friend, noticed how you came home later than usually and more drained day after day, the dark circles under your eyes getting progressively darker as the week came to an end.
Finally, Friday came around and you were barely standing on your feet when you walked into the apartment.
Felix is sitting on the couch, probably playing some games before sleep as you shuck off your shoes.
"Hi, sugar plum."- he snickers when he hears you groaning behind him, his head falling backwards to catch a glimpse of you.
"Please, don't start. I'm not in the mood."- you say tiredly.
Usually you throw disgustingly cute nicknames back and forth at each other but your brain was short-circuiting so bad that even thinking of a nickname for your friend was hard.
Felix exhales, pouting as he gets up and makes his way to you, helping you take off your blazer.
"I'll heat up some dinner."- he says and you nod, not even bothering to answer because the last ounce of strength you have is focused on standing upright.
You follow him to the kitchen to drink some water, and Felix looks at your tired frame, feeling sad that you're so down, instead of being your usual self, the one that jokes around and yaps away with him until the early morning.
"Why don't you sit down?"- he guides you to the chair and you sit wordlessly.
"My whole body hurts."- is what you say after a few moments of silence, as Felix waits for the dinner to warm up, his eyes trained outside the window.
"And my mind too."- you add as he looks at you and you notice the sympathetic smile he gives you.
"Well..."- Felix starts as he takes the food out on a plate. "I could prepare you a nice warm bath."
"You would do that?"- you ask, in your tired state you feel emotional and tears prick at your eyes.
"Of course I would."- he smiles, the sweet expression on his face as he brings you dinner makes you feel a little bit healed already.
"You're an angel, Lixie."- you smile as he squeezes your shoulder.
"I don't know about that."- he chuckles shyly, his freckled cheeks becoming rosy instantly.
You shake your head with a fond smile as he makes his way to the bathroom while you finally have a normal warm meal after the lunch you ate at work.
Hunger takes you over and you finish eating quickly, just in time for Felix to come back.
"Oh, you're done already?"- he asks.
"Don't judge me."- you say and he chuckles.
"No, I'm not judging, just wondering if you're still hungry. I could make you something else?"
"No, no don't worry, Lix. I'm ready for that relaxing bath."- you smile and he nods, biting on his lip.
"Um, can I suggest something?"- he asks as you stand up and you tilt your head at him.
"What is it?"- you ask curiously.
"You know I have some knowledge about massaging. I could help you relieve your stress with a full body massage." - Felix says and your eyes widen. "I mean if you're comfortable with it. You don't have to... ugh forget it."- he seems embarassed suddenly and you chuckle.
"A free full body massage? Sign me up."- you smirk.
"Who said it was free?"- he smirks back at you.
"Oh, so you're gonna charge me for your services, hm?"- you joke and he laughs.
"No, of course not. I'm just joking."- he says. "Go enjoy the bath I prepared, before it gets cold."- he adds and you make your way to the bathroom.
As soon as you walk in, you gasp, Felix has really made an effort.
He put your favorite bath bomb with bubbles into the water, lit your favorite scented candle and even adjusted the lighting to be less attacking on your tired eyes.
You strip in no time, throwing all your clothes inside the hamper and getting into the bath as quickly as you could.
The water is still warm and it feels wonderful to submerge your weary body into the relaxing feeling.
You close your eyes, leaning your head back on a towel as you feel the relaxation slowly taking you over, traveling through your limbs and making you feel weightless.
The warm and cozy atmosphere that Felix created have you almost falling asleep in the bath as your body slips a little and you sit up with a start, your eyes snapping open.
"Y/n? You okay?"- you hear Felix on the other side of the door.
"Yeah, I'm fine, I'll be out soon."
"Okay, I prepared everything for the massage."- he says and you giggle to yourself.
You don't feel too nervous being practically naked in front of Felix as you have known him for a long time and since you've been roommates you have seen each other naked on accident a few times.
He even gave you a few shoulder and back massages when you were in pain from sitting at your desk for too long but he never suggested a full body one.
Curious about it and ready to relax completely, you shower and dry off quickly, putting a bathrobe on and leaving to your room.
"Lix?"- you peek inside and see that he has fluffed up your bed, lit another scented candle and a few normal ones just to add to the atmosphere, and prepared some massage oils.
"Damn, you went all out."- you chuckle.
"I wanna make you feel better."- he smiles sweetly, making your heart flutter a little as you make your way towards the bed.
The two of you stand awkwardly for a few moments before both of you chuckle.
"I should undress, right?"- you smile and Felix nods quickly before turning his back to you and covering his eyes for a good measure.
"Tell me when you're ready to start."- his voice is muffled behind his palms and you giggle as you take the robe off.
You lay down on your stomach, pulling a towel that Felix prepared over your backside and private parts, getting comfy on the soft bed.
"I'm ready."- you say when you find a nice position, your forehead pressed against the end of the pillow so you can breathe, your arms on either sides of you, aligning with your body.
Felix bites on his lip as his eyes roam on your body shamelessly.
"Lix?"- you say and he snaps out of his thoughts.
"Yes, let me grab some lavender oil. It's good for relaxing."- he announces and you mutter, ready to just enjoy having his skilful hands on you.
Felix kneels next to you, as you feel the bed dip and hear him opening the little bottle of oil.
Some light music is playing in the background and you exhale a hundred worries as soon as his fingers press on your shoulders.
"Mm Lixie."- you moan instantly, making his gut stir but he shakes it off, wanting to focus only on your well-being.
His thumbs circle your flesh slowly, going up to the sides of your neck and down the top of your shoulders before pressing back to the original spot, circling it and taking off the stiffness you feel from spending long hours at your desk.
Little moans of relaxation keep coming out of your mouth and Felix's sweatpants get tighter, as your body visibly relaxes.
Working his way down your back, he keeps adding oil and finding the most painful spots skilfully and relieving you of your pain, as if it was his actual career.
"God, Lixie, you're so good."- you whimper, smushing your face into the pillow for a moment.
"I know."- Felix smirks, making you chuckle.
And he does know. He knows exactly which pressure points are located where so when his fingers press into your lower back, just a bit above your ass, you feel a wave wash over you.
"Oh."- you exclaim a little but Felix never acknowledges it, smirking behind you as he gently massages your lower back.
You start feeling a bit hot, aroused even as he continues his ministrations, fingertips barely dipping to the swell of your ass.
Your breathing is slow and deep, your body completely relaxed as you left yourself in Felix's precious hands.
Felix shuffles a little, you hear more oil being opened before you feel his hands on your foot.
"Good?"- he checks in on you and you whimper as he presses and continues bringing you relaxing touches.
"Perfect."- you half-whisper, your mind floaty, all the stress from the week forgotten, no thoughts, just Felix.
Felix, with his soft hands and deep voice, his pretty smile and adorable freckles.
Wait.
Why are you thinking of him like that?
You don't know why, and you don't care as his hands slide above your ankle, he presses four fingers on your skin as if he's measuring something on the inner side before he finds a pressure point and starts working on it.
As soon as his finger finds that spot, you shiver, feeling yourself getting aroused the more he keeps circling that spot.
You would feel embarassed but you're so relaxed that you couldn't care less, your body melting even further into the bed, your arms coming up on either sides of your head as you gently fist the sheets beneath you.
Felix smirks, massaging the point harder, making your arousal drip between your folds, your cunt clenching around nothing.
He notices your slight squirming and that lets him know he's got you right where he wanted you.
He lets go for now, hands sliding up to massage your tired muscles.
At this point, you're aroused, wishing he would touch you where you need him the most and you want to press your legs together but you don't want him to notice that.
Felix already knows, after all, his touches were purposeful and he has wanted you for so long, wanted to be the one to make you feel good.
"Lix."- his nickname almost sounds like a whimper as he runs his hands on the back of your thighs.
"You okay?"- he asks, his fingertips dipping between your legs, touching your inner thighs as he gently starts massaging the flesh.
This is the last straw, your slick is now gushing out and you start feeling embarassed, wondering if he can see it or smell it.
"I-I'm fine."- you whimper as he keeps massaging your thighs.
"You sure?"- he asks, hands sliding up, close to your core and you lean into his touch as you grip the sheets.
"N-no."- you whimper.
"What's wrong?"- Felix smirks, fingertips brushing your asscheeks.
"I- um... I'm horny."- you turn your head sideways to look at him and he hovers over you.
"I know. You're kinda obvious."- he says and you whine.
"You did this on purpose."- you say as he runs his hands on your lower back and waist, making you shiver constantly as you feel ten times more sensitive than usually.
"Would you hate me if I did?"- he bites on his lip, his eyes big and pleading.
"No."- you whisper.
"You want me to continue?"- he asks and you nod.
"Please."
"How about a special massage?"- his voice is low as he slowly removes the towel. "Do I have your permission, angel?"
"Yeah."- you say, legs spreading slightly as you lift up your middle just a bit so he can touch you properly.
Felix groans at you presenting your wetness to him, your forehead buried in the pillow again as you anticipate his touches.
His hands are on your ass, as he gropes and massages them before his fingertips dip between your legs, sliding through your wet folds.
"L-Lixie."- you whimper as he touches you teasingly, fingers gently rubbing around your pussy and towards your other hole, down to your inner thighs again.
You push back into him and he gently grabs your hip.
"Don't move, my honey bee."- he says and you snort.
"Alright, pumpkin pie."- you retort.
"Let me do all the work, you just relax."- he says, fingers sliding through your dripping folds repeatedly, making you clench around nothing constantly, before he finally presses into your clit.
"Mm."- you moan when he starts sliding the pads of his fingers up and down your clit, swollen with arousal and coated in your slick.
You moan quietly as Felix keeps massaging your sensitive clit slowly, up and down, left and right and then circling it and gently pinching it, occasionally dipping his fingertips into your cunt to gather more of your arousal.
You've never had anyone touch you this gently, it was usually a guy just flicking your clit fast when you're about to cum and while that does feel nice, this was a different kind of nice.
You felt tortured in a good way, like Felix was constantly dangling your orgasm in front of your eyes but never letting you get to it.
So much arousal kept gushing out of your pussy that for a moment you thought you were cumming as he kept pressing his fingers into your clit, playing your body expertly, like he's done this many times before.
"Lix- I wanna cum."- you whimper.
"I know love, but be patient. Just a bit more, I promise it's gonna feel amazing."- he coos at you, fingers working your nub faster and with more pressure.
You push back into him again and he grabs your hip as he starts flicking your swollen clit fast.
"Lixie, ah!"- you whine loudly, your slick coating his hand.
"I need you inside me!"- you add, holding onto the sheets.
"Mhm, later. I know you can cum just from this."- he says, as you keep jolting and whining.
You can't believe it's happening but your orgasm hits you like a wave, as you spill onto his hand, moaning loudly as he keeps massaging your sensitive nub.
"Oh fuck!"- you whimper when he slides his fingers to your folds.
"Interested in a deeper massage?"- his voice is low and dark as he leans down to your ear, making goosebumps rise on your skin.
"Mm, please Lixie."- you moan.
He slowly pushes two of his fingers into your sopping cunt, taking him in greedily as you were so relaxed and ready to receive.
Felix adjusts his position between your legs and it doesn't take him long to find your gummy spot.
"Lix!"- you groan when he starts gently fucking into it.
"Feels good?"- he asks, his lips brushing your ear as he scissors you open.
"Heavenly."- you moan out as he fucks you slowly, effectively massaging your walls, making your pussy clench on his fingers constantly, begging for more.
"Just relax."- he says as you keep pushing back on his hand, slowly fucking yourself on his fingers.
"I said relax."- he chuckles, lightly smacking your ass.
You gasp, calming down immediately, surprised by his commanding tone and actions.
You never thought your shy Felix would be handling you like this as you present yourself to him, to use you freely as he wants.
But all he actually wants is to bring you pleasure like you've never felt before, making sure to ruin every man for you so you only belong to him.
Eventually he speeds up, his fingers perfectly hitting your sweet spot and driving you insane, as you drip around him, the wet sounds are so loud that it makes you feel even more aroused.
Felix leans down and unexpectedly starts kissing and gently biting the flesh on your ass as he holds your hip and ruts his fingers fast into you.
"Ah, ah, Lix- Lixie, ah! Felix!"- you moan desperately as you tremble, squirting a fountain as he keeps on fucking into you, prolonging your orgasm as much as he can, teeth sinking into your flesh as you squirm under him.
"Oh..."- you're speechles when he pulls out, you can't feel your legs and your ears are ringing.
"You with me, angel?"- Felix hovers above you as he caresses your head gently.
"That was the best orgasm ever."- you exhale.
"Told you I wanna make you feel better."- he smirks, hearing you praise him boosts his ego and makes his cock twitch and throb painfully inside his tight boxers.
"Is there more?"- you chuckle making him laugh and he gently turns you to lay on your back.
"If you want, I can offer more special massages."- he smirks as his eyes roam all over your body, his hands squeezing your thighs and massaging them gently.
You look down to see his dick straining in his pants.
He follows your eyes and looks down too, just as you hook your fingers in his pants.
"I want your cock, Lixie."- you say as you slowly slide his pants down.
"You do?"- he looks a bit surprised and you giggle.
"Mhm."- you say as you finally free him.
"Oh."- you gasp. "You're a grower."- you add with a smirk.
"Oh shut up."- he looks embarassed suddenly and you start giggling again.
"Come here and kiss me first."- you say and his eyes soften as he leans down to kiss you sloppily, your tongues crashing against each other, his heavy cock pressed against you.
"So pretty."- you bit on his lip as your hands wrap around his length.
"What, my cock?"- he chuckles.
"Mhm. Want it so bad."- you whimper, and Felix groans lowly.
"You can have it, angel. Anything you need."- he says as he slowly pushes inside you.
"Mm. More."- your legs wrap around him, making him hit deeper as he keeps pushing his length inside you until he fills you up to the brim.
"Feeling relaxed?"- he asks, his hand coming up to brush your hair behind your ear and gently touch your face.
"Mhm, I have no thoughts at all."- you give him a smile and he chuckles quietly.
"Then, let's keep it that way."- he says as he slowly starts sliding his cock against your walls.
Felix keeps working hard to make you satisified and relaxed, to get you into a state of pure bliss, even if it means putting his own pleasure at the back shelf as he makes you cum on his cock over and over again.
He fucks you until you're shaking and crying, gripping at his biceps and clawing at his back, whimpering how sensitive you are, your pussy sloppy and shaped to fit his cock, which is when he finally lets go, cumming inside you hard, filling you up with his hot cum.
And when you fall asleep in his arms, a small blissful smile on your face, Felix knows he has accomplished his mission.
And he will do it again in a heartbeat, anything to make you feel better.
✨Taglist: @moonchild9350 @janepg @velvetmoonlght @hwanghyunjinismybae @jehhskz @laylasbunbunny @porangporangmeong @jeonginslefthand @sapphirewaves @simpforleeknaur @laughatdanger
#stray kids x reader#skz x reader#stray kids#stray kids smut#lee felix x reader#lee felix smut#skz fluff#skz smut#lee felix#lee felix x y/n#felix x reader#felix smut#skz felix smut#lee felix scenarios#lee felix imagines#lee felix fluff#lee felix x you#skz felix fluff#lee felix hard thoughts#lee felix hard hours
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im working on a thought here but i think a crucial component of supporting and advocating for liberal and progressive ideas is you have to trust people to muddle through mistakes. i see a lot of people that clearly want *safety* for marginalized people but their proposals amount to putting everyone in a padded room with their hands on a well lit table forever. we have to sanitize media, we have to protect people. we can't hurt anyone, we can't risk anyone-- but we can constantly constantly surveil each other and make new rules against ever doing the wrong things. you know, the bad things, the dirty things, the things that hurt you and make you sick and ruin everything for everyone forever. it's our moral duty, isn't it? to make the world cleaner and brighter and safer?
i think, probably, it would help a lot of us to take a deep breath and consider that you have to make mistakes in life. and so does everyone else. you learn things and you fuck up and you pull through. and you can warn people, if you think they're going to make a mistake, but i don't think you have a right to stop them from doing whatever damn fool thing they're up to.
i think that's what's really bothering me about current progressive discourse, and a lot of the proposed policies. a lot of kids are really scared right now that any single mistake is fatal, and while they're not totally wrong-- the economy sucks, there's still a plague going on, and america is a carceral panopticon--it's still not their *right* let alone their moral obligation to build a system where no one has the freedom to fuck up.
i don't know what the solution is here. a world with more resources would be great. a world with less deadly risk, too. but i'd settle for a world where we recognized and applauded everyone's human right to do weird stupid bullshit and learn better--or not--on their own time.
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(yandere! doctor x gn! patient) (cw: nsfw, yandere stuff, drugging, bribery, dubcon?)
your doctor is a little weird, you think.
he's a nice guy, yeah. does his work well, always smiling and constantly reassuring you that nothing's wrong with you. sending you off with a nice pat on the back as he emails you your prescription yet again.
but he's nowhere near professional.
his hands linger on your body far longer than what would be considered appropriate. eyes dark and unreadable as you tell him about your lovely significant other that's waiting for you outside of his office. how he'd try and talk bout his own life in an attempt to get you to stay in his office more...
if anything, he acts more like a possessive boyfriend than your doctor.
though you suppose he's just a little eccentric like that. he's a reputable doctor. everyone loves him, and so do you! he's treated you numerous times and his checkups are always so thorough. surely you can just let his... odd behaviour slide.
today you're coming in for a body checkup. lately you've been feeling dizzy and warm despite it being the middle of winter. you wonder if it's because you've gotten ill or someone's poisioning you. after all, there's been some weird holes in your arm whenever you wake up lately.
your excellent doctor has scheduled you in at 4.30 in the afternoon. he was busy earlier today, he says. you understand, he's a busy doctor. your spouse hasn't ended their shift yet so you came in alone. they haven't been answering your texts since they left home earlier today. you can only hope that they've been busy, you'll ask them when they come home.
entering his office, you are met with his polite smile and his melodious voice.
"please sit."
you obey, sitting down in the seat in front of him as you fiddle with your fingers. your doctor looks rather... distracted today. his usually tidy hair is a mess, his glasses wet as though they had just been cleaned.
"it seems that you are feeling warm and under the weather. do you have any other symptoms, my dear?"
"yes... i've been feeling rather..."
you pause, not knowing how to say it.
"aroused?"
you nod. your doctor seems to know you so well.
he hums, going back to his screen before putting on a pair of medical gloves and gesturing for you to lay down on the bed nearby. you oblige. hopefully he'll figure out what's going on with your body.
he starts off normally, prodding and pressing against certain areas of your body. you answer accordingly when he asks you whether they hurt, whether you feel weird or not. it's like any other medical examination.
"so how's your lover been?"
small talk. you realize he's always been a big fan of small talk. asking about your life, humming and smiling as he replies with answers about his own life too. sometimes he says something personal about your life, like how you go shopping on saturdays with your lover or how you sleep with the lights off. you wonder how he knows, is he stalking you? but you shake your head at the thought. you must've told him and forgot.
"they've been... fine. haven't texted me back yet unfortunately."
"mn, i see."
silence washes over the two of you as he continues prodding and touching you. his touches linger, soft and almost as though he was yearning to touch you even more. his tone of voice was nonchalant, like he didn't care.
you feel slightly uncomfortable.
"um..."
"hm?"
"i-i... i guess i'm worried about them. ever since they went out to work in the morning they haven't replied..."
"i am aware."
you remain quiet after that, pursing your lips as you ignore the way his touches have you growing progressively more turned on. you figure it must be a side effect of your condition.
"my dear, can you tell me what you feel what i touch you here?"
"huh? w- h-hey..."
you let out a soft moan as his gloved hands caress your clothed thighs. calm down, he says. it's just a part of the examination. you shudder slightly, squeezing your eyes shut. you feel the warmth in you grow as he continues to gently caress your thighs.
he's right, it's just a medical examination. he wouldn't touch you like that. plus, you have a significant other already. you shouldn't be feeling like this because of his touches. it's wrong.
you exhale shakily, fluttering your eyes open as you stare at him.
"i-it feels nice..? it makes the warmth worse, doc."
"i see... what about over here?"
you let out a gasp, eyes widening so wide you were sure they'd pop out of your skull. where... were his hands touching? surely you're dreaming?
but you weren't. when you looked down, you could clearly see his hands on your nether regions, gently groping and caressing the area.
"w-what are you-"
"i am merely testing to see which parts of your body react to my touch. please do not worry, my dear. this is all medical procedure."
"but it's my-"
"shh... i know. does it feel good? what do you feel?"
you shiver under his touch, whimpering softly as you try sitting up. were you overthinking it? he's just your doctor. this is part of the examination, it's fine.
yet you feel as though his touches have a deeper and more sinister meaning behind them.
"please don't-"
"why not? i've seen your significant other touch you like this multiple times. you've always reacted wonderfully under their touch."
"h-huh?"
your doctor pauses, eyes widening slightly before he lets out a chuckle. his hands continue palming and caressing your privates, almost as though he was... toying with you. with every touch you feel yourself getting more and more worked up, cheeks flushing even more.
"oh dear, i haven't told you have i? i've been keeping a close eye on you... i thought you'd have figured it out by now. your lover certainly has."
you squeeze your eyes shut as his touch, your mind growing fuzzy. what.. did he say? you can't quite understand... all you can feel is how bothered you're getting and how you want him to touch you even more.
"i am pleasantly surprised with how well you are reacting to my touch. i never expected you to react so positively to the drug."
"d-drug? ah... no... don't grope me like that..."
he continues palming at your clothed privates, a calm smile on his face. you can faintly make out the way his cheeks were turning red and the hardening of his pants.
"right, i did tell them not to tell you... my dear, your significant other has left you."
"no... what are you... talking about doc? hah... how would you know anyway..?"
"oh, because i told them to. i gave them some money a few months back and they've been working for me up until... today."
if you were a little more sober, you would've pushed him away and ran for your phone. unfortunately, the aphrodisiac you had been injected with last night has reduced you into a needy thing desperate for his touch.
"what did you do-"
"well my dear, didn't you notice the injection marks in your arm? your significant other had been administering you with tiny dosages of this particular drug i've given them. it's supposed to make you feel good."
"g-good..?"
you hear your doctor chuckle, his hands moving away from your sensitive parts. only to quickly undo the buckle of your pants and slip his hand down on your newly exposed skin.
your breath hitches, hips instictively bucking against his hand as you let out a low whine. you can't think anymore. your brain is so muddled with feeling good that you aren't even worried or disgusted by what he's saying. all you want is him, him, him. he makes you feel good.
"yes my love, good. aren't you feeling good right now?"
"mn mhm!"
you nod your head eagerly as his hands gently toy with your sex, rubbing and fondling you gently. he continues smiling down at you, pleasuring you with his fingers before pulling away. you whimper, face hot and red as you desperately try and pull him back. why would he do that? he was just making you feel so good...
"haha, you want me to continue touching you?"
you nod again. your doctor grins widely at your words, taking off his gloves before you hear the clink of his belt hit the floor.
"well, i suppose i'll get on with my second part of the medical examination now then."
#yandere#tw yandere#yandere x reader#yandere drabbles#yandere scenarios#yandere imagines#yandere concepts#yandere doctor#yandere doctor x reader#gn reader#suiana rambling#suiana brainrotting
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the prodigal daughter masterlist
pairing: spencer reid x fem gideon!reader
status: in progress
finally putting a masterlist together bc i’m tired of linking the parts on every fic lmao. enjoy the fire moodboard and the thrill of convenience!
warning(s): gideon is not a good dad. reader has daddy issues and argues w/ him and spence constantly. angst, hurt/no comfort and hurt/comfort, fluff scattered around sparingly. more specific warnings on each chapter
spotify playlist
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plastic hearts ↳ 1.1k words, the original fic | spencer gets a front row seat to some gideon family matters.
the stalker arc (set in s1)
heat lightning ↳ 4.1k words | you end up at the heart of the bau's latest case.
family line ↳ 3.8k words | you're stuck in a safe house with the guy you hate and everything is perfectly fine.
(please) spare me indignity ↳ 5k words | you and spencer spend more time together. it's bad, then it's good, then it's something else altogether.
in over my head ↳ 5k words | between all the arguments, you and spencer begin to understand each other a little bit more.
#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fic#spencer reid fanfiction#gideon!reader#spencer reid angst#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds angst#x reader#sadie writes
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✿ 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙤𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙪𝙡 𝙩𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙖 𝙘𝙖𝙩 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩 ✿
characters: jing yuan, blade, dan heng, welt yang, yanqing, sampo, gepard, luocha x nb!reader
warnings: tooth rutting fluff, advised for u to read while sitting down or in private bc u might have a heart attack from how cute and chaotic this shit is, some angst might be sprinkled in just bc✨✨
notes: that moment when you have a super bad baby fever except the fever is towards cat rather than babies. genshin impact ver can be read here! part 2 with penacony men!
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/4bd8b205a1b468c8f66882ffb7415cc4/6f308222e8d884f7-99/s540x810/8e25f3e4cc56cf0ddb8fa39ec0f4338964a6284c.jpg)
art credit to Toma超想吃番茄 on yt!
oh fuck
look at that floof
that absolute big soft floofball peacefully sleeping on top of your favorite black shirt. your shirt is ruined, massive amount of white fur stuck to the fabric and you’re late for work but at least you have a happily napping away cat
a siberian cat, me thinks. with that amount of fur and that large body, he’s gotta be a siberian cat
spoiled, smug peace of shit and he knows it. revels in that title even
dubbed as ‘the handsome cat’ by your friends, co-workers and neighbors alike, meow yuan is surprisingly and not so surprisingly incredibly popular amongst the ladies. whether it be because of his fur, his adorable meows, the red ribbon you tied around his neck as a makeshift collar or his way of charming the ladies with a gentle pawing to their hand and a smug “meowww”, you will never know
the biggest out of the cats. but is it his body that’s big or is it the rapunzel like long fur that he has. the world will sadly never know and neither will you
surprisingly chatty at times. but worryingly very eepy. an adult cat should sleep about 12-16 hours a day and yet you’re pretty sure meow yuan spends 25 hours of the day sleeping away under the sunlight
closest to little nyanqing. seems to think of the youngest kitten as his own as he’s seen grooming or simply looking out for the young kitten at times. also seems to be a bit closer to nyan heng and meowade but the latter tends to spend his time alone
an absolute smug spoiled prince and he owns to it. whether it be feigning hurt, crying out for your attention or downright plopping himself down on your keyboard, deleting your entire progress of work, the little shit knows how to be a headache
but it’s okay, you always forgive him because he allows you to smush your face into the fur of his belly when you’re stressed or squish his soft toe beans. meow yuan is let off the hook yet again…
occasionally, meow yuan reminds you of a lion. it maybe weird and completely out of the blue but with the way he grooms others, his fur, the absolute motor like loud purrs he emits or the sheer massive size and weight of him — yeah, you get the point
one time, you decided to spoil him by carrying him around in your arms like how you do with the other cats. the loud crack! noise and the fact that you couldn’t get up the next day should prove just how damn big he is
meow yuan was a worry wart the whole day. constantly meowing in your ears, purring softly, nuzzling your side. it almost seemed like he was trying to apologize for being this big. to which you easily let him off the hook of course. how could anyone ever say no to that big adorable yellow eyes?
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art credit to cocoink🍁 on twt
a bit of a worrying case, meowade is
he doesn’t like socializing, the other cats nor does he get along with you either. the only ones he seem to at least tolerate were meow yuan and nyan heng alongside you
likes to spend his time all alone, cooped up inside some small confined space, above the cupboard or inside his own small room in the cat tree. also enjoys spending time in your room as well but only if the other cats aren’t there
flinches or freezes up whenever you touch him which is incredibly worrying and gut-wrenching. makes you hate however was his previous owner to have caused meowade to despise touches and affections
the first time you found him, bleeding and wet on the side of the road and tried to wrap your coat around him to take him to the vet, the little scraggly cat hissed and clawed and bit at you with great amount of hate despite literally bleeding out. thankfully, he seemed to understand you were no threat as he went limp in your coat, allowing you to get him to the vet
due to whatever his past experiences were, meowade hates being close to anyone. but at least he was slowly but surely opening up to the others and you
the first time the poor scraggly cat decided to bump his head to your hand, asking for pets, you cried tears of joy and relief. at least, you can offer him healing and comfort as you and the other cats stay there for him on his journey
the second biggest cat, bested by meow yuan himself. not as big as him but damn can this cat scare others. whether it be other cats, your friends who decided to visit or some random dog that you passed by as you take meowade out for a walk
seriously, the amount of times this cat wrestled against dogs bigger than himself gives you heart attacks. it’s a real wonder and a miracle you aren’t dead yet
british shorthair, me thinks. but the ones that grow to be a bit bigger than the others
has a bad habit of just… staring off into space, unblinking with those big round eyes at times. literally no thoughts in his brain. head empty, as he just… stares off into space
“oh, having another existential crisis again? mind if i join you today, meowade?”
“…”
“… meow”
and so, this weird ritual of the two of you sitting side by side, staring off into the distance, unblinking as the cup of coffee in your hand goes cold has become something special in you two’s bonding moment. oneself that meowade looks forward to each day
sometimes, he tends to chase after nyan heng around the house for whatever the reason. it leaves poor nyan heng shaking and hissing as the small black cat comes to you for help
not the chattiest of cats nor is he the most pickiest. quite docile despite his killer stare at times and you would even daresay, shy when it comes to affection
overall, a cute cat. the cute pathetic ones that you just can’t help but adore and love
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/7b8fb650287bf99cde7b4bda9b4fe5b2/6f308222e8d884f7-23/s540x810/81813f55853873b0a1e2eafb40b406dd572c6190.jpg)
art credit to Toma超想吃番茄 on yt!
another docile cat!! perhaps even the most docile one!!!
at first, you were worried when taking him in because holy shit, where is his tail?! only after taking him to the vets did you finally managed to breathe a sigh of relief because nyan heng was a black manx breed of cat
lean, on the smaller side, an amazing hunter and a dutiful bug hunter in the house, nyan heng is a cute black manx who has a pretty green/grey eyes
an absolute sweetheart, always hoping to please you or help you out around the house as he helps to keep the other cats in line. except for meowade. he always finds himself having a hissing match with the black british shorthair or getting teased by the eepy meow yuan
closest to nyelt, as you had found the two cats together when you decided to take him in. almost seem to see nyelt as some sort of a father figure with how the little black manx constantly goes to the older one for advice or simply some help in grooming
has a cute simple, thread like thin black tie with a few charms around himself as a makeshift collar. he seems to like it despite the thread being a little bit too thin for cats’ comfort
seriously, what’s up with your cats and their desire to wear makeshift collars? makes you really consider if they are cats…
that aside, nyen heng also tends to be more active during nighttime. not the type that would take down things, destroy objects or cause ruckus and cause you jump out of the warm comfort of your bed. no, he just simply quietly trudges around the house, searching if he had truly hunted down every bugs and insects in the house
especially that spider
nyen heng hates to see you so scared over that cursed spider. so he makes it his life mission to rid the house of insects, more specifically, spiders!!
and damn is he absolutely devoted to his job because ever since you cried to your friend over the phone about the spider that you saw in your room, you never saw another spider ever again!
not the most chattiest nor is the most affectionate. he’s a mix of both but only when in privacy of you two or when he’s feeling particularly lonely
don’t get him wrong, the other cats are an amazing company but he just tends to seek out your attention and affection more y’know? there’s just something soothing about being by your side
seems to have some history with meow yuan and meowade. whether that be good with how friendly meow yuan is with nyan heng. or bad, with how meowade seems to want to take their play fighting to a whole next level
surprisingly, doesn’t like sunlight that much
most of the cats would follow the sunlight and it’s warmth and spend some time outside or on the window sill. but you can find the little black minx just chilling in one of the rooms of the cat tree of beside you, observing the other cats
nyen heng is an absolute sweetheart. the quiet type of sweetheart
the type of sweetheart that follows you around, hoping to help you out or simply offer a comforting presence. it’s the least he can do for you
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art credit to Toma超想吃番茄 on yt!
another sweetheart of a cat except nyelt makes himself and his presence known unlike nyan heng
possibly a havana brown breed with just how damn calm, peaceful, loving and loyal he is. especially with you. havana browns tend to attach themselves to only one person during their span of life, which sometimes can feel like nyelt is just a biiitttt clingy with you
was there with nyan heng when you took the two cats in and often times acts like a father figure to the cats of the house which is a huge help to your mental state. except for nyanqing. nyanqing only has one father figure and that’s meow yuan
but that was completely fine since nyelt still looks after the little energetic kitten. often times looking after the cream munchkin as he carries nyanqing around by his scruff
to which, nyan heng comes to you for affection and attention. if his father figure won’t give it, then you surely will!
likes to wear the black mini scarf like collar around his neck. often times seen curled up inside the mini scarf as he sleeps the day away like most cats do
can come of as quite chatty at times with how attentive and helpful nyelt is
oh your back feels stiff? he can sit on it and make biscuits (that cute moment when cats knead their paws?). meow yuan is out of option since he’s way too big and heavy and could potentially be the sole reason you break your back. literally
oh nyanqing is missing again? what do you mean he’s missing? he’s right there, hiding inside one of the rooms of the cat tree
nyan heng is being bullied by meowade again? you know nothing of the weight behind this powe—
yeah, you get it. kinda reminds you of a grandpa with how attentive he is and how he has a single streak of grey atop his head fur. which is absolutely adorable and one place that you adore smothering with kisses
nyelt doesn’t seem to mind the affection too as he simply sits there, purring away and basking in your affection. a very pliant cat
sometimes, something seems to weigh heavily on his and nyan heng’s minds with how they curl up together or look out the window, seemingly searching for something
at first when they did that, you thought some bird or a squirrel passed by the window. but if that was the case then every cats should by by the windowsill
yet only nyelt and nyan heng are
at first it worried you because what if they were having cat depression?! are you absolutely sure that you’re being a good cat owner, [name]?!
yeah, you had a lot of self doubt and depressive episodes due to the two cats
however you finally figured out the case when one day, one of your co-workers suggested a play date with her own cats. saying that sometimes, cats need to see new faces to experience some relief from their everyday tasks or ways of living
the date was agreed upon and your co-worker decided to bring over a few of her cats
the immediate second the pretty red furred maine coon, pink-ish scottish fold and the grey striped scottish fold stepped out of the cat bag, nyelt and nyan heng seem to brighten immediately as they fucking dash towards the three cats
turns out the five of them seemed to have been close before they got separated and the two male cats found their way in your home
at least your cats were happy yet again. which made you happy in turn too
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art credit to Toma超想吃番茄 on yt!
awwwwwww
everyone's reactions when you first introduce them to nyanqing. and honestly, you can't blame them because look at that cute little cream munchkin pitter pattering his way over here!!!
as stated above, a cute little cream colored munchkin
super adorable
tiny
a tiny baby
"hang on, i'm gonna have an abnormal increase in my sugar intake simply because nyanqing is just too damn adorable to not to do that" - you on a daily basis while calling your best friend and honestly? your bestie's starting to get a bit sick of your constant fawning over your cats
that is until you bestie decides to come over for a visit to drop off some meds for you (during the infamous 'trying to lift meow yuan and almost breaking your spinal cord' day), your bestie dropped down to the floor, unresponsive the moment you called over nyanqing to introduce him to your bestie
yeah... since then the two of you constantly fawn over the little munchkin while trying not to die of a cuteness overload
but it's completely fine and understandable even as you two get the nth heart attack this day simply because nyanqing was... well, nyanqing himself!
an adorable little pliant baby who loves nothing more than sleeping, playing around with meow yuan, you and sprinkles of mischief sometimes
is the closest to meow yuan and can be found with the large siberian cat whenever you can't find him. often times, you would have to move meow yuan over to check each and every nook and cranny around the large siberian cat just so you can get a glimpse of the small munchkin and let out a sigh of relief
at times, the eepy meow yuan tends to curl up with the tiny nyanqing buttttt due to how much of a heavy sleeper the larger cat is, nyanqing almost gets crushed under the much larger cat
yet he somehow is still alive and well and completely okay???? like what????????
still doesn't relieve your heart no matter how many times you find the tiny munchkin under the large siberian cat
is a little bit mischievous at times with how he lovingly bothers nyan heng. trailing after the black minx all the while meowing his ears off about something. the same can be applied to nyelt as well but nyelt tends to patiently converse with the small munchkin unlike nyan heng who wishes to avoid him at most times, preferring his lone and private time
seem to have some sort of an ongoing hidden agenda against meowade and luonya. the former black can cat be found bullying the small munchkin until either the other cats step in or you. as for the latter? no one knows. somehow, nyanqing always ends up getting into a defensive position whenever luonya comes into his field of vision
one time you even found nyanqing hisses at meowade with meow yuan behind the tiny kitten's back. you had to put the three of them into time out and give meowade a scolding
what about scolding nyanqing you say? well
“this is the last time i’ll let you off the hook, nyan-nyan. if i find you stirring up trouble again”
yeah… when are you ever going to stop letting your cats off of the hook [name]?
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/f2094abd5612320919b0bb6d6587d306/6f308222e8d884f7-a0/s540x810/e996ace8cec209edab14a5a478e85dd2d1cf8717.jpg)
art credit to Toma超想吃番茄 on yt!
…
“you sure this is a cat and not a fox or a vixen undercover?”
“yes, it is indeed a cat and not a fox or a vixen undercover. i’m guessing it’s a somali cat though it could be mixed breed with another different cat breed as well”
“you sure…?”
“please get out, and allow the others to show their pets”
yeah… the local vet is familiar with you and your many different cats. not to mention the amount of times you asked if meowpo was truly a cat and not a fox undercover because damn, is this cat fucking mischievous
an absolute fucking menace and i cannot stress this enough, god
the type of cat who would keep a straight eye contact with you as his soft squishy paw slowly pushes a cup full of your coffee towards the edge of the surface all the while keeping the :3 face
oh you thought meow yuan was bad and mischievous? you immediately took back your words the second you adopted meowpo
that’s how damn bad this little cat is
you know those moments that you have like,,, a cute aggression? but instead of smothering the cat with kisses and hugs and cuddles, you end up lovingly bullying the cat? yeah. that’s your eternal cycle with meowpo
“you stupid—“ kiss “—fucking” kiss “—cat!” kiss “when the fuck—“ kiss “—and where the fuck” kiss “—did you came from” kiss “—to make me suffer, huh?”
a never ending cycle and meowpo fucking revels in the sheer amount of times he can make you have lovingly bullying cute aggression moments
seems to have some sort of a rivalry with nyepard and surprisingly meow yuan
nyepard was completely understood and truthfully, you saw it coming. nyepard is a rule follower and an enforcer through and through meanwhile meowpo is a rule breaker
so imagine your surprise when you come back home one day to see meow yuan glaring at meowpo from his windowsill
“meow yuan, what’s gotten into you? why are you bullying meowpo?”
“mrreow!” oh meow yuan sounded a bit angry. which only served to double your shock since meow yuan is a very gentle cat despite his large size. gentle, affectionate, chatty, friendly and a bit mischievous at times but never hostile or mean
“mrreeeooww!” meowpo seems to complain as he makes his way over to hide behind your leg. he seems to be shaking or even afraid of the larger cat
to which, you immediately coddled and soothed meowpo over and scolded meow yuan afterwards. all the while meowpo gives meow yuan a knowing smug look
yeaaahhh… these idiots are fighting for your attention and affection
if meowpo isn’t somewhere inside the house, creating chaos and getting scolded by the other cats then you can definitely find him by asking a help from nyepard. nyeppie would dutifully carry out his duties and rat meowpo out in record time
but he isn’t always so mean or mischievous. the times where you fall sick and is having a hard time trying to breathe through your nostrils, meowpo is the one who takes care of the other cats’ bowls of food and water
it was a way of him hoping to help you out the tiniest bit as you lay bedridden
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/e6a3b122fb1a5f6f65d3ee0dbc728f39/6f308222e8d884f7-10/s540x810/7073e513191072b3b3cfb99d3891c4cd9d8f935f.jpg)
art credit to Toma超想吃番茄 on yt!
nyepard, the most… dog-like cat you would ever meet. but also a cheetah-like as well????
it’s hard to explain since nyeppie has spotted fur and the black smokey eye that cheetahs have and not to mention his large yet lean physique as well
the second largest. whereas meowade is also the second biggest due to his length, neppie is the second biggest due to being a bit on the… buffer? side
seriously, you were worried for a few days when nyepard kept growing and growing, showing absolutely no sign of stopping his growth spurt
thankfully, he isn’t as big as meow yuan
you don’t wanna live with the embarrassment of getting dragged down the street by another big ass cat chasing after a random pretty leaf they saw. nope. you can’t deal with the embarrassment and shame
and yes, you did dragged down the street when taking meow yuan out on a walk before but that is a story and second hand embarrassment for another time
another sweetheart despite his size
very doting, gentle, very shy when it comes to affections but still asks for them anyways because it’s you
the first time you took nyepard for his vet vaccinations, the veterinarian looked at you dead in the eyes as if saying “bestie, what the fuck?”
of course you would get weird stares whenever you take the big cat out for a walk. he’s as big as a doberman dog and the dotted furs of his doesn’t exactly help to direct attention away from yourself
but the sheer amount of power you feel when walking down the street with both meow yuan and nyepard by your two sides is fucking addicting
one cat that closely resembles a lion and another that looks like a cheetah. at least you sleep peacefully at night knowing that you have two scary cats privilege
scary dog privilege? [name] only knows and experiences scary cats privilege. at times it's adorable but also threatening as well because your bestie and some close co-workers know just how devoted and loyal your cats are towards you
nyeppie is the most loyal of them all. or at least, one who is willing to show it at each minute of the day with how dutifully he chases after insects with nyan heng, scolds meowpo or just is there to be your emotional support
by being your emotional support, nyeppie meant being there sitting beside your computer as you diligently types away at a work report and not to be your cuddle victim!!!! no, no no no, no no, you're not squishing his paws as you take him away in your arms to cuddle on the bed!! you always end up falling asleep!!!! what do you mean by it's completely fine that you have saved up the progress and the deadline isn't close yet?! the deadline is before midnight!!!
sigh...
if only cats could sigh heavily and smack his face with his palm as he watches you scamper about, trying to wake yourself up as you realize that you did ended up napping the day away with nyeppie in your arms
well, at least you managed to send the report in at time. by 'at time' you and him both meant at least 2 minutes before the deadline closed up
nyepard guesses you can cuddle with him this time since you managed to finish the report within a record time of 47 minutes
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art credit to mm_mako22 on danbooru!
luonya is probably the most weirdest cat you ever had the pleasure of adopting. and that was saying something because you're pretty sure you live with a long lost lion and a cheetah and a fox cats!!!!
and he's just a simple, silly, lovely cream colored turkish angora!!!!!
ah, whatever. you guess its just life's way of dealing you karma by making you live with a bit quirky 8 cats
jokes and a lot of conspiracy theories pushed aside for now, time to focus on the present AKA 'the pretty cat'
oh yes, while meow yuan was getting dubbed as 'the handsome cat' by almost everyone who meets him, luonya was rightfully dubbed as 'the pretty cat'
at this point, you're damn sure that your friends and co-workers come around only to coo over your cats and to spoil them rather than spending time with you... understandable, because you too would do the same without a single ounce of shame and you absolutely mean every damn word
one time, just for shits and giggles and a bunch of pictures to take of your latest cat, you signed him up for a cat beauty pageant
it was only for shits and giggles and a reason to snap pictures of luonya in a pretty cat costumes and stuff, you swear!! so imagine your surprise and how far down your jaw went slack when the host announced your cat, luonya as the cat beauty pageant winner!!!
yeah...
it was a chaotic thing to happen truly and the small glares and backhanded compliments the other cat parents were giving you was making you break out in cold sweat. at least, you have your pretty cat with you to soothe yourself a bit
and a nice whopping 300K dollars as the victor money!!!! damn, you're rich as shit now
not for too long since that money is gonna fly away in the wind due to the fact that you adopted a literal 7 cats and a kitten
worth it, you cry internally as you pay for the 50 kilograms of cat food all the while luonya gently meows at you as in a way of saying "hurry up, dear. we still have to pick up the wet food and the snacks too"
hhhh yeah
this cream colored turkish angora of yours is absolutely drop dead gorgeous yet at the same time he also has a very large secretive look on his face. there's just something about the way that luonya just acts, always sitting atop a high place in the house, as he just stares into the souls of everyone within the room
weirdly smells like either flowers or of medicine and pills and there's absolutely no in between. it's either giving lilies or pills but either way, your cat is a girlboss and he seems to know it as well
not entirely affectionate like meow yuan or meowpo but he is also not too talkative either. a bit of something in between along the lines
is affectionate and talkative at times but prefer it if you would be asleep or when its just you two when he finally decides to curl up on your lap
overall, luonya is a very gentle yet also a very suspicious cat but is oki, he girlboss and he knows what he wants and needs with how he sometimes fakes choking noises to make you get up in light speed
#nobu.writes#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail x you#hsr x reader#hsr x you#hsr x y/n#hsr x gender neutral reader#jing yuan x reader#blade x reader#dan heng x reader#welt yang x reader#yanqing x reader#sampo x reader#gepard x reader#luocha x reader#hsr fluff#honkai star rail fluff#jing yuan x you#jing yuan x y/n#blade x y/n#blade x you#dan heng x you#dan heng x y/n#welt x reader#welt x you#welt x y/n#sampo x you#gepard x you#gepard x y/n#luocha x you
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