#Kinda interanlized ableism?
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I’m chronically ill. I’m a figure skater. I use a cane when I’m not skating cause I have really severe chronic pain that gets especially flared up by any warmth. And this morning I had the bright idea of “guys, fall is coming, I’m gonna go on a run this morning. Just a quick 10 minute run.” I then went on said run (against all better judgement telling me “this is going to be bad for you later, you’re allowed to let your body rest, you’re already athletic, you don’t need to prove that to anyone, you need to stop ignoring your health.”).
For context I live in Texas. And I only get pain relief in very cold environments (such as the rink). It was 78° at 6am. And humid. I’m flared up to no tomorrow. I only ran for 10 minutes and when I got out of the shower I fell over immediately and sublexed my hip. I just don’t know what to say really. Why does taking care of myself hurt so bad?
#Kinda interanlized ableism?#Kinda just need some comfort and reassurance rn#Or just general advice and reason#I know I don’t need to prove to anyone I’m an athlete#I skate almost every day. And I’m damn good at it. But having these conditions makes me feel like I’m living two different lives#In one I’m an athlete and strong and can skate for hours becaus of the cold#And in the other (off ice) it hurts to walk without a cane. I dislocate things constantly. My symptoms progress daily.#And it makes me feel like I’m faking it because ‘Oh I can still skate’ even though I know I’m not faking#it’s just so frustrating#hypermobile ehlers danlos syndrome#fibromyalgia#cane user#Chronic pain#chronic illness#hEDS#Disabled#Disability#physically disabled#Disabled athlete#internalized ableism#heat sensitivity#Figure skater#Figure skating
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