#and then it got to the point where there was no point in denying that he was most definitely my bias too atp sksjsjdj

[persevereforahappyending]

No Man's Land |2|

Pairing: Sam Carpenter x Reader

Summary: Sam can’t help but be drawn to the cute stranger from her gym, even if everything about them makes them the perfect suspect, just when Ghostface has returned.

Warnings: Talks of Murder and Killing

Word Count: 3k+

Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2

Sam had her head thrown back, trying to calm her nerves as she and Tara waited for Detective Bailey to arrive. When Quinn called her father, he had said he wanted to speak with Sam. He wouldn’t confirm or deny whether the killings on the news were the work of Ghostface, but he wanted her to come down to the station. Tara had refused to let her go alone and Bailey even agreed that he’d like to see Tara as well. They arrived at the police station first thing in the morning and were immediately escorted to an interrogation room, without anyone telling them anything.

Sam finally looked up when she heard the door open, seeing Bailey enter. “Sorry about the wait,” Bailey said, giving them an awkward chuckle.

“What’s this about?” Tara asked, tapping her fingers on the table.

“The killings,” Sam cut in. “Was it Ghostface?”

“We found this,” Bailey said, tossing an evidence bag containing a bloody card onto the table, ignoring both the girls’ questions. “At the crime scene,” Bailey sat in the chair opposite of them. “In which two of your,” he pointed at Tara. “Classmates were murdered. Care to explain?” he shrugged.

Tara leaned forward, her eyes widening at what was in the baggy before she looked back at Sam. Sam furrowed her brow as she took a look as well, her face instantly going white at seeing her ID, covered in blood, and in the evidence bag. “I lost my ID months ago,” Sam mumbled, shaking her head. “I had to get a new one.”

“Why didn’t you report your ID as stolen?”

“I didn’t know it was stolen,” Sam glared at Bailey.

Sam didn’t know detective Bailey too well. She knew he was a homicide detective and when Quinn decided to go to college at Blackmore, he transferred to New York so he could keep an eye on her. Quinn complained about him occasionally, usually saying how overprotective he was, though he did allow Quinn to live on her own with Sam and Tara, even though it would be much cheaper for her to live with him. Bailey always seemed like the typical dad, but Sam wasn’t sure, she saw danger around every corner but the majority of the time it was just her being paranoid.

“Where were you last night?” Bailey asked, getting back to his questioning.

“You can’t seriously think she’s a suspect,” Tara said. “That’s ridiculous.”

“I’m just trying to figure out what happened,” Bailey held his hands up in defense. “Do you have an alibi?” He looked at Sam.

Sam sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “I was at work,” Sam answered. “Then when I came home Chad and I went to the gym, then back to the apartment.”

“And someone can verify this?”

“Lots of people probably,” Sam shrugged. “Your daughter being one of them, she was at the apartment last night.”

“It’s true,” Tara said, crossing her arms. “We were all with someone the entire day. Anything else?”

“Your classmates,” Bailey said, pointing at Tara. “Had a Ghostface shrine, it seems they killed their professor a Ms. Crane.” Tara sucked in a breath, Sam didn’t know her personally, but she had heard Tara and Mindy mention her a few times. “Earlier this evening. Know anything about that?”

“Why would we? I barely talked to them.”

“Are you familiar with a,” Bailey flipped open a file, squinting his eyes at something in the file, “Richie Kirsch?”

Sam couldn’t help the way she shifted in her seat, trying not to react. “He’s my ex,” she answered with a tight-lipped smile. “And he’s dead.”

“Yeah, he and my best friend tried to kill us last year,” Tara snapped. “What’s this got to do with anything?”

“Well, it seems these boys,” Bailey said, tapping his fingers on the photos of the two guys killed. “Intended to finish his movie.” Sam and Tara’s faces both fell at those words. “It seems they were working on a plan to kill you two.”

“We don’t know anything about that,” Sam said.

“Right, right,” Bailey mumbled to himself. “So, it’s just a coincidence these two boys end up dead?”

“There are no coincidences when Ghostface is involved.”

“Look,” Tara cut in, seeming frustrated and tired. “Are we under arrest or can we go?”

Bailey looked between the two sisters then down at the photos and evidence bag. Sam held her breath as she waited for his response. She wasn’t sure what was going through his mind, he still never confirmed if Ghostface was back, and she didn’t know if Bailey suspected her or thought she and Tara were in danger.

“You’re free to go,” Bailey said. “Just don’t leave town,” he gave Sam a look, like he knew she wanted to run.

Tara didn’t hesitate to get up, nearly knocking over her chair in the process. Sam gave Bailey one last glance before following after Tara. They flagged down a cab and Tara gave the guy directions to Blackmore. When Sam furrowed her brow Tara showed her Mindy’s text saying to meet at the school so they could go over suspects before class.

Before she knew it Sam had her head thrown back again, this time as she sat on a bench outside Blackmore College. Everyone was already there when Sam and Tara arrived and since then Mindy had been standing in front of everyone pacing back and forth. Sam just wanted her to get to the point already, she wanted to try and get some sleep before she had to go to work. She knew she wouldn’t get any sleep though; she wasn’t able to sleep last night and there was no way she’d be able to before her shift, not with Ghostface out there.

“Suspects!” Mindy said, finally seeming to get to the point. “With Ghostface, most likely, back we should go over potential people who might want to kill us! Because Bailey clearly won’t be of any help.”

Sam couldn’t help but glance at Quinn. The girl frowned at Mindy’s words but didn’t move to argue with her. Mindy also didn’t bother sparing Quinn a glance, let alone an apology. Sam couldn’t help but frown at Quinn’s reaction, or her lack of reaction. Detective Bailey was Quinn’s father, and she wasn’t saying anything to stick up for him or defend him. Sam wasn’t sure if that alone was suspicious or if Quinn just knew by now there was no point in arguing with Mindy.

“First!” Mindy continued, holding up a finger. “Ethan! The shy, dorky guy who no one suspects because he’s just so shy and dorky.”

“I’m a suspect because I’m randomly Chad’s roommate?” Ethan questioned, gesturing at Chad awkwardly.

“Roommate lotteries can be fixed,” Mindy rolled her eyes as if it was the easiest thing in the world to do. “And second, Quinn!” Mindy turned, smiling at Quinn. “Tara and Sam’s slutty roommate, a horror movie classic.”

“Sex positive,” Quinn corrected. Though she didn’t seem offended by Mindy’s accusation like Ethan had.

“How did you come to live with Sam and Tara?”

“I answered their ad online.”

“No need to say more, you’ve implicated yourself enough!”

“It was an anonymous ad,” Tara said. “And we vetted her.” Sam nodded, she had done incredibly thorough questioning to both Quinn and Bailey when they were interviewing potential roommates. “Plus, her dads a cop.”

“And that makes it more likely!” Mindy gestured wildly. “Cop dad is a great cover! Besides, what are the odds, your dad, would get this case?” Mindy crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow at Quinn.

“How the hell would I know?” Quinn crossed her arms, finally seeming to get annoyed by Mindy.

“And lastly, Anika,” she smiled at her girlfriend. “You aren’t clear either.”

Anika’s face fell. “Are you kidding me?” she asked.

“Sorry babe,” Mindy shrugged. Anika just scoffed, crossing her arms and turning her head away as she refused to look at Mindy.

“I think that’s all the suspects,” Mindy said, giving herself a little nod of approval.

“And Y/N,” Sam added. Everyone turned to her with raised eyebrows. “What?” Sam shoved her hands in her pockets. “I just think they should be on the list.”

“I thought you said you haven’t ever spoken to them?” Mindy narrowed her eyes.

“I haven’t.”

“Then why would they be a suspect?” Tara questioned, crossing her arms.

“Because we have the same schedule!” Sam tried to reason. “No matter when I go, no matter what day, or what time, they’re there.”

“Suspicious,” Mindy admitted. “Anything else?”

“They have fighting experience. Not sure how much but I’ve seen them train, they definitely know what they’re doing.”

Sam continued to ramble on about you. She told them once again about how similar your schedules seemed, even when it was well after midnight and there was no one else there you’d show up. She talked all about the kind of people you did talk to and how you were otherwise reserved. Then she got into your workout and mentioned how much you lift and how much you focus on either sparring with someone or hitting the punching bag. When Sam was finished revealing all her observations about you, she looked around at the others. Everyone was looking back at her with raised eyebrows, she was going to assume they were just shocked by her keen observation skills.

“They are pretty badass,” Chad added, holding a finger up. “I hate to admit it because they seem so cool,” he let out a little chuckle. “But the way they fought that dude in the ring,” he let out an impressed whistle. “I’d hate to see what they’d do to an enemy.”

Everyone’s face slowly morphed into one of worry. Ethan and Quinn gave each other a look of concern and Tara looked at Sam as if Sam would have a solution to their problem. Sam could only offer her sister a comforting smile, she didn’t know who this new Ghostface was, but she wouldn’t let him hurt Tara.

“Okay, we’ll add them to the list,” Mindy agreed.

Sam nodded. A part of her felt a little guilty for suspecting you of such heinous things when you’ve only ever been nice, but she couldn’t take the risk. She dated Richie for months and he betrayed and used her, she hadn’t even spoken a single word to you. Sam didn’t have a real reason to suspect you, besides the fact that you went to the same gym, which a lot of people went to, but none of them had even close to the same random schedule she did, and she had never seen any of them fight like you could. She hoped you were just the cute stranger from her gym though, and not some psychopath. But she knew her life, there was no way her first crush since Richie was just a normal person that went to her gym, and all the other stuff, the stuff that drew her to you, was just coincidence, she wasn’t that lucky.

After being satisfied with their suspect list everyone went their separate ways with most of them going to class, while Sam went to work. Sam managed to get home and change but didn’t have time for a nap before having to head to her job. She managed to make it to the diner she worked at, just before she had to clock in.

Sam tried to focus on work and not let her mind wander to Ghostface and what was happening. She ignored the way people kept glancing at her, she ignored the articles she saw on their phones when she came to fill their coffee cups, she ignored the way customers bumped into her, spilling their milkshakes, ketchup, and syrup all over her. She ignored it all, she put on her fake smile and apologized to the next person who bumped into her.

Sam glanced at her phone every time she had a spare moment, when she knew, she wouldn’t get caught by her boss. She ordered everyone to text her throughout the day, so she’d know they were okay. She ordered her sister though to text her every fifteen minutes, Tara had rolled her eyes, but she had been doing it, if Sam didn’t hear from Tara within the time frame she would try calling first and then head off to wherever Tara was supposed to be.

When Sam’s shift finally finished, she rushed home, ignoring the way everyone was lounging in the living room once again as she ran to her bedroom. She didn’t have long before she needed to be at her therapy appointment, and she needed to shower and change first. She moved as quick as she could, showering long enough to get rid of the diner smell but not long enough to actually enjoy having the water rain down on her.

“I have therapy tonight,” Sam said as she rushed around the living room, ignoring her still damp hair. “I’ll be back later.” Tara nodded. “Be careful, stay inside, and don’t unlock the door for anyone.” Sam gave all of them a pointed look.

“We know,” Tara sighed. “You be careful too,” she whispered.

Sam smiled at her sister, giving everyone a quick wave goodbye before making her way out the door. She made sure to lock all the locks and double check herself before walking down the stairs. Her neighbor Danny offered her a kind smile, holding the door open for her as he was coming, and she was going. Sam did a quick check of her surroundings before shoving her hands in her pocket and began making her way to her therapy appointment.

Before Sam knew it, she was sitting in her therapist’s office, pulling at her sweater as she refused to look her therapist in the eye. She hadn’t been seeing the woman very long, she was seeing a guy for a while but when he learned her dad was Billy Loomis, he basically stopped being helpful. When Sam found Doctor Williams, Sam had started the first session by telling her all about her father, if this therapist wasn’t going to be helpful either Sam figured she might as well figure it out right away instead of wasting all her time and money.

“We’ve been sitting in silence for twenty minutes,” Doctor Williams said, not looking up from her notepad as she continued to write something down. Sam wasn’t sure what the doctor could be writing considering she had yet to speak. “Your session is only an hour long, if you want to talk,” she glanced at her watch. “You might want to think about starting soon.”

Sam frowned and flicked a glare at Williams. “I met someone,” Sam said, breaking the ice.

“That’s good,” Williams smiled, setting down her notepad and pen. “How has that been?”

“Well, I haven’t exactly talked to them yet.”

“How-How does that work?” Williams furrowed her brow.

“We go to the same gym,” Sam nodded along with her words. She was sure this was probably making her sound even crazier than she already seemed. “We’ve shared looks and a few nods,” Sam smiled to herself

She didn’t miss the small smile still on Williams’s face. “And what’s stopping you from talking to them?”

Sam’s eyes drifted down to the carpet, she pursed her lips, nodding to herself. “I think someone is trying to kill me and my sister again.” She looked up to see William’s staring at her with wide eyes. “And they’re on the suspect list,” Sam gave a little shrug.

Williams opened and closed her mouth a few times, clearly trying to process her words. “You think the person you like is trying to kill you?” Williams said slowly.

“Well, not just them, everyone’s a suspect.” Williams nodded unsurely. “I’m not being paranoid,” Sam tried to assure. “At least I don’t think I am,” she shook her head. “Tara always says I’m too paranoid but this time there’s a legitimate reason.”

Sam’s words slowly died down as Doctor Williams raised her hand. “Let’s start from the beginning,” Williams said softly.

Sam swallowed, ringing her hands as she tried to calm her nerves. “There was a murder last night. Two boys in Tara’s class killed their professor.” Williams furrowed her brow. “Then someone murdered them in their apartment.” Williams opened her mouth, but Sam wasn’t done yet. “There’s no proof, but the killings might have been committed by Ghostface.”

“And what makes you think this is Ghostface? Are you sure he’s not just on your mind, it’s around that time of year, no?”

Sam clenched her hands together. “The two students, they were fanatics,” she rolled her eyes. “Fans of Richie apparently. They were planning on killing me and my sister, but someone killed them first.”

“And you think that someone is Ghostface?”

Sam nodded. “Ghostface would never let two kids,” she scoffed. “Take out me and my sister. Not that they could,” she ran a hand through her hair.

Before Doctor Williams could say anything else the timer went off, signaling the end of their session. “See, you next week, I guess.” Sam gave a shy smile as she got up from the couch.

“Wait, I don’t want you to do anything rash,” Williams rushed, following behind her but Sam was already out the door.

Sam checked her surroundings once again as she exited the building. She began her walk back to the apartment. When she got back to the apartment, she saw everyone still in the living room. “We got pizza,” Tara said, nodding to the box on the table. Sam snapped a glare at her sister as she dropped her keys into the bowl by the door. “Anika went to pick it up,” Tara held up her hands, but Sam didn’t miss the eyeroll.

Sam sighed, shaking her head at her sister as she made her way to her room. She got ready for bed, but her mind wouldn’t stop. She kept thinking about the killings, about Ghostface potentially being back, and who they could trust.

Taglist: @thatshyboy1998

[thebramblewood]

this is in a similar vein to an ask you got recently but do you have any tips for those who are interested in sims 4 (or even other games like ts3 and ts2) storytelling? I write fanfiction but I think making sims 4 stories could be a fun venture. Anyway, thank you for your time! I love your stories so very much they're literally my hyperfixation!

Well, that makes two of us because it's literally my hyperfixation. I think I've shared bits of advice before, so some of this might sound familiar, but here are some things I think are important to remember (and I tried to be concise, I swear).

Write the story you want to write. Obviously, it's a great feeling when something takes off and people get invested. But if you pursue an idea only because you think Simblr will like it, you probably won't be inspired for long and it'll probably show. I've been very lucky with my story, but it didn't blow up overnight. Early on, I was thrilled to get double digit notes or one reblog or comment and was admittedly disappointed when I put a lot of effort into something and nobody seemed to notice. But I kept going because I was obsessed and wanted to see it through, and that's more true now than ever.

Start with low stakes and allow yourself to evolve. Before I was on Simblr, I made Sims stories with no poses or visual enhancements or fancy editing. I wrote them for myself, and I loved every minute of it, but they also gave me a solid foundation for the kind of storytelling I do now. Even after starting this blog, I eased myself into it. I learned how to use poses and Reshade, then moved on to more advanced editing techniques, then moved on to teaching myself to make poses and very basic CC. If you try to learn it all at once, you're more likely to give up because you're overwhelmed. Take your time and make peace with the fact that perfection isn't possible. Everyone's always learning!

Take advantage of the fact that Sims is a game. Even though I've been a creative writer for most of my life, I don't come up with fully-fleshed, elaborate Sims stories from scratch. It started off with my legacy and not wanting every generation to feel the same. I thought about gameplay I hadn't experienced yet and centered each generation's story around that. Even with HZID, I just wanted to make and play with vampires! That's it! Initially, I used a lot of gameplay to convey Helena's college experiences, and I still try to incorporate it when I can. It can really be a great base to spark your creativity if you don't know where to start.

Don't have a life outside your story. I'm joking. Kind of. I'm not a very social person and I don't like leaving my house if I don't have to. This leaves me with a lot of time for working on story things. Honestly, I could probably stand to work on it less. But for better or worse, I'm doing story-related things most nights and weekends, and even if I'm not doing anything, I'm thinking about it. It's probably mental illness, but we'll just call it passion. At the same time, it's also important to take breaks! If you're feeling burnt out, step away for a while. If you can't make yourself step away completely (raises hand), just edit the script or spin your blorbos around in CAS or something rather than going straight for posing a scene.

Follow and interact with other storytellers. This is probably the most important thing, and as someone who struggles with social anxiety it was the hardest for me to do. But I try to make a point of keeping up with other stories, commenting, and reblogging. Not only will the amazing talent of other writers inspire you, but you're building meaningful connections that make them more likely to want to interact with your story. There's no denying it feels amazing to watch your audience grow. But no one's going to see you if you don't make an effort to be seen, as scary as it can be. So try to be active in the community and support other storytellers the way you want to be supported!

[alpaca-clouds]

BG3 fans, we gotta talk CPTSD

Okay, I have spend about a week considering writing this blog, but I really gotta say, that it is something people really need to understand. See, I mostly see this issue with Astarion and his depiction in fandom. However, I would argue that it is a thing that affects literally all characters that play some sort of bigger in this entire game. Including many NPCs.

But let me start with Astarion. See, I wrote the blog two weeks ago about people being judgy on people, who do not want to have graveyard sex with him. Mostly people will argue how Astarion should be allowed to have his agency in that moment - while I argued that whoever the player is playing should have also agency in that scene. Including the agency to say "no" for whatever reason. I also included that my Tav absolutely denied Astarion, because he was not trusting that Astarion in the scene really was ready for it, for a variety of reasons. Which is very much a valid reason for someone not to want to sleep with someone else. (Literally every reason is a good reason for that, mind you.)

And obviously there came the comment, that went basically: "As someone who was raped I am very appalled by you saying that raped people cannot consent." Which is very much not what I said.

What I said was, that my Tav did not consent. Yes, he did not consent because he thought Astarion was not ready for it - but he is the one not consenting. It does not matter for this whether his assumption about Astarion is true or not. Tav does not feel comfortable in the scene, so Tav does not want sex right there.

However... If you consider the drow orgy scene, Tav is also very much right. If you do that scene after defeating Cazador, Astarion is enthusiastically consenting to that orgy, but he still ends up dissociating during the scene. (And in that scene, even if your character notices it, you cannot go "Stop!" Which I hate.)

Here is the thing. If you are in the BDSM scene, you might actually have encountered a scenario in real life where someone was enthusiastically consenting to something - only to them realize, that they were not into it at all. And people can withdraw their consent IRL at this point. Only that in this game, obviously you can't. So within the game choices I will just start out with "no" for this character.

Still, that is actually not what I mainly wanted to talk about. No.

What I wanted to talk about is the other thing. I absolutely know that for a variety of reasons a lot of SA survivors do identify with Astarion, and I do not want to take that from anyone. I think it is amazing that we got a character with whom we see this issue portrayed seriously. And let's face it. Especially in tumblr fandom circles, we will have a lot of SA survivors, because the userbase of this website is majority afab, and many are queer. And we know from statistics that queer afab people are even more likely than non-queer afab people to experience SA at some point in there life. So, yes, Astarion is going to be embraced by this community makes sense - even without his dashing looks.

But here we get to the actual meat of the issue: Astarion was not just raped. Astarion was abused in a variety of ways - some of them sexual - over the course of 200 years. He went not through a single traumatic event, but an ongoing trauma that, again, lasted for 200 years.

Or to put different: Astarion does not have PTSD. He has C-PTSD. Complex trauma. The kind of trauma that develops when the trauma lasts over a long, long time, without the survivor getting a chance to ever really properly ever relax. Something that was very true for Astarion's time under Cazador. He was under constant threat of rape, torture, and other forms of violence.

While CPTSD is a form of PTSD, it has some differing symptoms - and additional symptoms from plain old PTSD.

I found this graphic on this blog here, and found it fairly good in the depictions. (If you google CPTSD you will find several graphics like this.) It shows very well the additional symptoms, compared to normal trauma.

Generally speaking, CPTSD brings a lot stronger issues with self-worth, interpersonal problems, and emotional regulation. CPTSD folks are often prone to emotional outbursts (this graphic names anger, but technically it can be all other kinds of emotional outbursts - which is why at times CPTSD gets confused with BPD).

And Astarion is written like this. He shows very much all the symptoms of CPTSD. And let's be honest: That is an issue he will have to deal with for a long, long while.

But... As I said, the same is actually true for pretty much all the characters.

If you look at the companions, it is obvious.

Gale spent at least a year in constant fear of blowing up. While Mystra's abusiveness towards him within the relationship prior the orb is more fanon than canon (though the relationship was defnitely not an easy one), the "one year in constant fear of death" is very likely going to instill some form of CPTSD in him.

Karlach was a slave for 10 years, forced to fight in the hells. While she will also probably suffer from certain forms of PTSD more common in soldiers. Additionally I would argue that she also has some CPTSD from tiefling-racism. While she does not bring it up often... She does seem to have a thing there.

With Wyll it is a bit more complicated. Yes, for him I would see the kind of CPTSD I have - parental abuse related. Ulder was not openly abusive, but neither was my mother, and guess what fucked me most up in my childhood, despite experiencing some really bad violence elsewhere.

Shadowheart was abused by Viconia and midwashed and tortured and was forced to kill her fucking pet mouse. Bonus points that a lot of it happened during her childhood. She very much is gonna suffer the consequences.

Lae'zel... Do I really need to say something about her upbringing among the Gith?

Then we have Halsin. We know fairly little about his background, given that he is very coy in talking about it. But his "three years as a drow slave" definitely make it likely that he has developed some form of CPTSD.

And then we have Jaheira and Minsc. For whom just the... Well, look folks, the adventuring lifestyle would logically also leave you with CPTSD of some sort.

Even if you play a Tav who entered the game after having a very untraumatic life... They will spent what has to be at least two months with a tadpole in their head threatening to kill them - while half of Baldur's Gate is trying to do the same. They'll have PTSD after this at the very least, if not CPTSD. (Even though, let's face it, chances are we all gave our Tavs more than enough background trauma to go along with it, right?)

And same goes for so many other characters. The tiefling refugees. Our main villains (especially Gortash and Orin). Cazador. The other vampire spawn (duh). The list goes on.

So, what am I trying to say here?

Well, for once I just want to make sure folks understand that CPTSD is a thing that exists and while being similar to normal PTSD differs in some points. Including the fact that people with CPTSD have a high likelihood to make very rash decisions driven by instable emotional states, that might be harmful to them on the long run.

And mind you. In real life most people with CPTSD have it because either they were bullied for a long time, or were in an abusive relationship of some sort. (Abusive parents, abusive partners, abusive friends/roommates.) But even in those heightened scenarios the game represents for the most part - the issues are gonna be still mainly the same.

[bomber-grl]

Enemies to lovers with Leo Valdez

Pairing(s): Leo Valdez x Gn!Reader

If anything it probs stemmed from a misunderstanding

Maybe you were cranky the first two times he ever approached you

And perhaps you may have taken it out on him

And maybe just maybe he thought u were those stereotypical condescending people

Basically what ensued from then on was just you two attacking each other verbally each time you ran into each other

But then you’re officially introduced to him by either Percy or Annabeth or anyone else that’s part of the 7 that’s close to you

He’d be especially shocked if it’s Piper or Jason who introduces you two to eachother

Of course that doesn’t automatically solve anything and you’re both total assholes to each other still

Leo is complaining about you and how could any of his friends also be yours?

You feel the same exact way

And unfortunately this is a case of forced proximity as is all my hcs because I’m an uncreative bitch

Maybe it’s just me but I’d imagine constant bickering and making faces would be a bit hard to ignore and go unnoticed

So they all agree to force you two to get along

So you’re on the Argo ll and are forced to clean the stables

(Before the Athena Parthenos is put there obv)

It’s not messy messy but it’s still something

You two both finally agreed to be quiet

But then he gets almost thrown out the window by the ship getting rocked by a monster or something

And so you have to save him by obligation

You two are literally hanging out the window and Leo is yelling like crazy bro

Eventually you bring him back and he thanks you

It was done reluctantly- you make sure he knows that

Plus the situation gives you material to make fun of him for 💀

Then some time after that you’re fighting some daily monsters and he (despite not rlly being a fighter) helps you out by firing some of the weapons on the Argo

This incident spawns this unspoken alliance??

Literally everyone else is made aware of it too and even they’re confused

But honestly at least you’re not constantly at each others throats anymore

Instances where you saved each others asses continued from then on out

It got to the point where you saved eachother so often that you became literal 4lifers

Like genuinely enjoying each other’s company despite the occasional off handed remarks

There was obvious tension that you were both teased for by your individual friends

Even couch Hedge acknowledged it 💀

And youd both deny it

I mean it was the obvious choice

But there had always been tension between you two if you’re being honest

Like if someone asked you if you thought Leo was cute , well let’s not say you’d say he was, just that you really couldn’t deny it

And so your interactions and dynamic continued all the way until the prophecy that started this quest came to an end

And so did you interacting with Leo

He was dead, and despite having liked him, you’d never be able to tell him.

That’s something you had come to accept, and something you realized you’d never get the chance to admit to him

Until you could.

Leo appears back at camp with Calypso in tow

Let’s just say Leo felt ok about her and saved her cuz he’s a good guy and she went along cuz she wanted an escape)

Anyway like everyone else you line up to hit him

Ain’t no way you’re running to him when there’s so many other ppl infront 💀

Gods forbid YOU end up being the one that gets jumped

Even from the good amount of distance you’re away from him you can still very much see his- what can be best as described- upset demeanor

Why he looked that way? You didn’t know and couldn’t tell even if held at gunpoint

Well anyways eventually you end up face to face with him and his expression can’t even be described with just a few words

So ill try anyway

Hes absolutely star struck and, in truth, made breathless from the sight of you alone

I mean with the way Leo looks at you, you’d think he spotted his only true want in this world.

The guy doesn’t say anything at all but then he sorta gains consciousness (?)

He tries to hug you but then hesitates- tries again/ then hesitates

Before he could do anything else you slap the hell out of him 💀

The act is honestly so violate and loud it was genuinely startling

Some would say that you jumped him that day of his return but what did they know??

And then you hugged him

A deep, emotionally charged hug

All the days you had spent mourning him, being tortured by his death that you couldn’t help but feel was avoidable despite the prophecy-

And yet you couldn’t help but melt into the hug

Obviously awkwardness follows after- and for a good while after too

But in the end you two end up together (per advice from emmie and Jo once Apollo casually mentioned the undefined relationship between you two as defense against a remark Leo had made)

And after Apollo is done at the waystation (and you’re not already involved there)Leo will ask if you’d want to stay there together and go to school and be “normal” teens.

The answer is up to you, but we all know what you’re gonna choose

Cmon you’re reading this so you’re obviously down bad 💀

[not-that-syndrigast]

Team Relationships

It is general knowledge that there are currently ten F1 teams. But what's less general knowledge, are the contracts and relationships they have with each other. Still, more and more, people talk about and question the fairness; let that be midseason driver changes, teams helping each other or rookies getting preferential treatment. In the following text I have summarized every publicly known contract and point in which the teams work together or may fight.

Every team has different contracts and relationships to the others, so while keeping this in mind i made this graph; 

As you can see there are four groups; The Mercedes group, the Ferrari group, the Red Bull group and last but not least, Alpine as the only independent team.

Let's start with Mercedes; just like Ferrari, besides being their own constructing team they are an engine supplier, which means that they build and sell engines to other teams, thus there is a sort of relationship between the teams, but actually there is more behind that. Aston Martin is besides the engine pretty independent, they build their own cars and don’t have any contracts when it comes to drivers, most people don’t even know about their connection to Mercedes. McLaren is a bit more interesting; Mercedes has supplied engines for long but has only joined as their own constructor in 2010. McLaren was even called McLaren Mercedes from 1995 to 2014 and although they have gone back to Mercedes engines since 2021, they are not considered the works team anymore like they were up until 2009. One small fun fact; from 1995 to 2014 McLarens livery was silver, which gave them the iconic nickname of the silver arrows but also leads to some confusion since Mercedes livery is also silver and they have adopted the nickname now. Today though, McLaren and Mercedes don’t work together as closely anymore, especially since they became rivals.

The really interesting team when you look at Mercedes is Williams. Although Williams denies being Mercedes junior team, the ties are clear; beside the engines there are also driver changes between the two teams, like in 2017 when Valterri Bottas had signed another contract with Williams but following Nico Rosberg's shock departure was released from the contract to join Mercedes. Another example would be 2020, when Lewis Hamilton got covid and Williams allowed George Russel to replace him. Obviously the official contracts and conversations are not known to the public but one can clearly make out that there are contracts that allow such situations to happen.

Another very interesting team is Ferrari. Like Mercedes, they are engine suppliers, but they also supply other car parts that especially Haas buys off them. In return, there have been many rumors about Haas and Sauber owing Ferrari more than just money. To Ferrari, Sauber/stake/alfa romeo or whatever the team is called this year is what Williams is to Mercedes. Although they are their own team, their allegiance to Ferrari is clear and most rookies join the team in hopes of getting into Ferrari, Charles Leclerc is the best example for that. Being in the Ferrari drivers academy helps you greatly in contract talks; most Ferrari drivers academy members joined Sauber or Haas in recent years, Ollie Bearman being the most current example. But with Audi buying up Sauber, Ferrari will lose the team as a customer for their engines, which is why Ferrari has sent Bearman to join Haas. Another recent event are the free practices. Sauber has the best example, in Zandvoort Ferrari driver academy member Robert Shwartzman was allowed to drive one of the obligatory free practices, even though Sauber has their own juniors. I think you can all guess where this leads; instead of only asking for money from their customers, the contracts with Sauber and Haas also include free practices and preferences in drivers line ups.

The most well known team relationship is probably Red Bull and their sister team Vcarb/alpha tauri/torro rosso/RB or whatever the team is called this year. Different from the other teams that have contracts with big teams, Vcarb (how we will call it here) is officially the junior team for Red Bull. Every driver at the team is signed to Red Bull, thus any money the teams win from the constructors championship goes in the same pot but the drivers can also be switched however they like, which has led to some people questioning fairness in the sport, but more to that later. In recent years, Red Bull and Vcarb have become even closer. Years ago, they were two separate teams but with the purchase, rebrandings and other changes in the teams they have become even closer. Although officially Vcarb is their own team, it's an open secret that Red Bull can still make choices for them, ask for help or make calls for their strategy.

Last but not least, there is the only currently independent team Alpine. Over the years, when they were still called Renault they used to work with Red Bull and even McLaren at times, but this has changed over the years, making their Relationship to all teams race focused.

As mentioned earlier, there is quite some controversy about how much relationship should be allowed between the teams. There are certain rules about how many teams can share one engine, how one team can sell engines but especially in the case of Red Bull and Vcarb people question if it's really fair that they have four drivers and thus obviously more chances, they can try more and have more drivers. In my opinion there is a certain type of unfairness, but by sharing all of this about Mercedes and Ferrari I wanted to show off how Red Bull isn’t the only one using what some people would consider unfair methods. There will always be people that will suggest changes in the rule books; don’t allow teams to have engine and part contracts include drivers, it seems easy but it would actually be rather difficult to follow through and lead to teams doing things secretly. Still, I think the FIA should not allow two teams to belong to one group, out of fairness to the drivers and the competition. 

But no matter how many rules get implemented, one has to keep in mind that there will always be loyalties and enmities between teams and thus their drivers. Last but not least, I expect the FIA to say something about Red Bull, especially following the Singapore Grand Prix, but we will see.

As always I'd love to know what you guys think of this. Would you agree with the unfairness? What rule changes do you guys expect/hope for? I would be happy about any comment or message!

[waitineedaname]

Shen Qingqiu had always had a fondness for the Mid-Autumn Festival. When he was Shen Yuan and very, very young, he had briefly been convinced that all the celebrations were for his sake given the proximity to his birthday. Even when his parents had laughed and explained the real purpose of the festival, it remained one of his favorite holidays. The lanterns, the sweets, the games – what’s not to like?

Needless to say, the Mid-Autumn Festival in the Demon Realm blew all other celebrations out of the water. This was a place where people could do literal magic. Talismans made lanterns glow different colors and float higher in the sky than they realistically should. Demonic performers used all variety of abilities to enhance their performances, from qi powered dance moves to shapeshifting instead of changing costumes. Shen Qingqiu observed the celebrations with a kind of glee he hadn’t felt since he was a child. As empress (a title he still hadn’t gotten used to), he was welcome to partake in the ostentatious banquet prepared by the palace kitchens, but privately, his favorite treats of the night were the mooncakes Luo Binghe had made especially for the two of them. 

He didn’t have blood family to share mooncakes with in this world, but he’d made sure to send an order of treats to his disciples on Qing Jing Peak since he would be unable to share the holiday with them. He and Luo Binghe had agreed to split the holidays between their two realms, and this year Qing Jing had New Year’s while the Demon Realm had the Mid-Autumn Festival. Here in the Demon Realm, the only family he had to share mooncakes with was his husband. He was perfectly happy with that.

“Does husband approve of this one’s cooking?” Luo Binghe asked with a smile, pulling his fingers away from where he’d handfed Shen Qingqiu yet another artfully made mooncake. The festivities were winding down for the night, and they were back in their chambers, which was the only reason Shen Qingqiu was allowing him to hand feed him. That, and he had just enough wine in his system to make him feel loose and relaxed.

Shen Qingqiu hummed and swallowed his food before answering. “Binghe knows his cooking is always excellent,” he praised. Luo Binghe beamed and snuggled into his side to kiss his cheek. 

“Which was your favorite?” He had made a variety of mooncakes with a variety of fillings. Realistically, many of them were flavored with ingredients that should not be available in this setting, but he’d bug Airplane about it later. Luo Binghe had cut all of them into neat pieces, allowing them to sample all of the flavors. Shen Qingqiu thought for a moment, then pointed to one of them.

“The five kernels one,” he said, and Luo Binghe immediately sat up to cut another slice for him. “It’s something of a novelty to be able to eat it,” he continued, fanning himself gently. “The first time I ate that flavor, my parents immediately had to rush me to the doctor.” He sighed. “What a relief this body doesn’t have a nut allergy.”

Being able to talk about his old life was a recent development. Luo Binghe had found out the truth of his transmigration situation from Shang Qinghua not long ago, and since then, he had slowly been allowing himself to reveal more and more of his previous life, finally free from the terror that the System would immediately kill him for it. Binghe clearly appreciated the honesty and seemed conflicted between wanting to ask more and not wanting to push Shen Qingqiu too much. Sweet boy, how could Shen Qingqiu deny him anything?

“Is there anything else Shizun can enjoy now that he couldn’t before?” Luo Binghe asked, offering him another slice of the five kernels mooncake. “This one would be happy to indulge any of his tastes.”

“Mm, well you’ve already got the gluten covered,” he said, gesturing to the mooncakes in front of them. “I didn’t have that many food allergies. I suppose red meat made my stomach irritated sometimes. I am still unfortunately lactose intolerant.” He sighed sadly. “What I wouldn’t give for a lactaid. I wonder if there’s a special flower or magic pill that would help with that…” he trailed off in thought. Perhaps that was something else he could bug Shang Qinghua about. He wanted to know what the protagonist’s skills would do to ice cream without it incapacitating him for the rest of the day! He didn’t realize he’d zoned out until he blinked and saw Luo Binghe staring at him with a fond smile. “Ah. Sorry, Binghe. I was lost in thought there.”

Luo Binghe shook his head and leaned in to press a surprisingly chaste kiss to his lips. “Shizun looks very handsome when he’s thinking.”

Shen Qingqiu huffed and gently batted his head with his fan. “Hush.” He still allowed Luo Binghe to wiggle under his arms until he could wrap both of his own around Shen Qingqiu’s waist. Shen Qingqiu tsked fondly and stroked his hand through Binghe’s curls. “Clingy child. I suppose if you want to make a treat for me… perhaps more of these mooncakes for my birthday?”

“When is your birthday?” Luo Binghe asked, looking up at him from where his face was squished into Shen Qingqiu’s chest.

“Let’s see…” Shen Qingqiu did some quick math. “Today is Tuesday… It should be this Saturday.”

Luo Binghe sat up, startled. “Shizun!” he exclaimed, sounding peeved. “That’s so soon! You didn’t warn me!”

“It’s not like I’ve thought about it much!” Shen Qingqiu shot back, tugging his husband back in for further cuddles. “Binghe doesn’t need to do anything special for this master’s birthday anyway. I’m happy to just eat a meal with you.”

Luo Binghe grumbled, clearly still displeased. Shen Qingqiu resigned himself to whatever elaborate celebration his ridiculous husband cooked up for the weekend. “How old will you be turning?” Binghe asked curiously.

“Uh…” Shen Qingqiu realized he still wasn’t certain how old the original goods were. He supposed he could probably find out from Yue Qingyuan, but… yeah, that would be an awkward conversation. “Do you mean combined between my previous life and this one?”

Luo Binghe nodded. “Shizun must be very old and wise with the experience of two lives.” His eyes were wide and hopeful.

“I wouldn’t say that,” Shen Qingqiu said with a soft laugh. “Let’s see… I was twenty when I first transmigrated, and then there were those five years when I was dead.” He didn’t notice Luo Binghe gradually stiffening in his arms. “I suppose at this point, I’m only a year older than Binghe,” Shen Qingqiu said, pleased by this realization.

“Only… a year older?” Luo Binghe repeated. There was something unreadable in his tone. 

“Yes?” Shouldn’t this be a relief? Shen Qingqiu still felt like a creep sometimes when he thought about how he’d known Luo Binghe since he was a teenager, but their actual combined lived experiences were not that far apart. Somehow, against all odds, they’d evened out at some point along the way!

“So Shizun… isn’t old and wise,” Luo Binghe said slowly.

Shen Qingqiu frowned. Why did that sound disrespectful coming from him?! “Well, this body is likely in its forties at this point,” he said, making his best estimate.

Luo Binghe’s lips flattened into a line. “But you complain about your old hips when we–”

Shen Qingqiu cut him off with a swift smack of his fan. “Don’t say anything else! They are old hips! Not all of us are blessed with youthful demonic stamina!”

That seemed to cheer Luo Binghe up for some godforsaken reason, but he was still pouting. “Shizun, why don’t we celebrate your birthday as your forty-eighth? Twenty-eight sounds too strange.”

“Okay?” Shen Qingqiu was lost. What on earth was going through this strange boy’s head? “You really don’t need to make a big deal out of my birthday, it’s nothing special.”

“This one is happy to dote on his middle-aged husband,” Luo Binghe said, squeezing Shen Qingqiu around the middle.

“I’m not–”

“His middle-aged husband,” Luo Binghe repeated firmly, hugging him even tighter. Shen Qingqiu grunted and swatted at him until he loosened his grip.

“Alright, alright.” He still wasn’t sure what was going on, but he still hid his flushed face behind his fan. “Pass me another mooncake, will you?”

Luo Binghe happily cut him another slice and fed it to him by hand. This truly was a strange second chance at life he’d found himself in, but Shen Qingqiu supposed he couldn’t complain.

[ur-fav-h-anon]

I Get Off

Finally, the Donaka fic. it's only been a month to the day that I haunted Julia's blog with this. My excuse is that I got distracted by watching CSI.

TW's: Implied consent (I don't know what else to call it. Its not noncon, and not really dubcon.), voyeurism, power imbalance, fingering (but no penetration. I prommy it makes sense), Donaka cares in his own way.

You’re not exactly sure what it was that tipped him over the edge. The best guess you could make in your thinking impaired state is that it was an accumulation of many, many small things, some of which may not even be your fault. But, however it happened, whatever caused it, it was of little importance to you right now. 

You hadn't processed what was happening until he had forced you into an unused bedroom of his house. It was only once you saw the camera set up, pointing at the bed that you understood at least partly what was about to happen. Normally his cameras were hidden, out of view and unnoticeable. He wanted you to see this one, he wanted you to know that whatever he did to you in here, people were watching. He had then ordered you on the bed and made you sit on the end so he could adjust the camera. Once he was sure the camera was set up to his liking he ordered you to strip as he turned around to open a familiar silver briefcase. 

Had he started streaming? There was really no way to know. All you knew was that you needed to strip for him. So you do. Maybe if you had known what was going on you would have made a show out of it, taking your time stripping off your light camisole and loose skirt. By the time you're down to just your panties and bra he's turned around again, now  donning the mask and heavy gloves that you know so so well. His dark eyes are unreadable from where they show through the eyeholes, you think he could be amused but really you don't know. Instead of thinking about it you focus on stripping off your underwear, but he interrupts you with a hand.

He manhandles you down on the bed, splaying you out just so. what you don't notice, too busy with the feeling of his hands on your body, is how he adjusts your head in a roundabout manner, until it's nestled comfortably against him. What you don't know is that from where he rests it your face is completely out of frame, the view of the camera starting at your collarbones.

Your bra is already off on the floor but your panties are still on, something he remedies with dexterity that you often forget he's capable of. You know he does just about everything in life the same way he practises martial arts, heavy and sure. So it's easy to forget that he's capable of more than that at times. 

Once you're bare he adjusts your legs again, making sure that you're at a good angle for his touch more than for the view of the camera. He rests a hand down on your core, just cupping it gently as he settles you, his other hand on your lower stomach to hold you where he wants. As soon as he's satisfied, the hand over your core starts to explore, just moving in gentle strokes, top to bottom, to make sure you're wet and ready for the pleasure almost pain he's going to inflict on you. He can feel you, not with the thick leather of the glove in the way, but he knows your body, he knows when you're ready. And when you are, he starts his torture of you

One of his fingers finds your clit and starts to circle, drawing whines and moans out of you with ease. What you don't know as he draws sound after sound out of you is that he's the only one that can hear them. There's no sound on the stream. He may show you off, but you belong to him, only he has the privilege of hearing the noises you make and seeing the way your face twists in pleasure.  

He stares down at you from behind the mask, dark eyes watching you as he works you up to the peak then denying you. He does it again and again, swirling thick gloved fingers in tight circles over your clit. He knows you well enough to tell just by the noises that pour out of your mouth how close you are to that sweet peak. 

You are his, his bird in hand. He knows exactly with how much pressure to hold you. He knows exactly how many times he can deny you before you become squirmy and hard to handle. And its when you reach that point that he switches tactics. Painful denial becomes intense pleasure. 

You know the exact moment he chooses to switch, even through hazed, glassy eyes you can see the moment the look in his dark stare switches from dangerous amusement to ravenous hunger. 

He works you up again, but this time, he doesn't slow down on you. No. This time he speeds up, almost brutally forcing you up and over the highest peak of pleasure. And he doesn't slow down then either. He maintains the tight, fast, heavy circles as you writhe and shutter and scream for him. He forces orgasm after orgasm out of you, giving you what feels like as many as he denied you. You have no idea what either of those numbers are, they are lost, first to the frustration of denial, then to the overwhelming pure ecstasy he inflicts.

It doesn't take long for you for the pleasure to consume you completely and just like he knows how much denial you can take, he knows exactly how far to ecstasy he can send you. It wouldn't do to break you, at least that's what he tells himself as he removes his hand from your core. He peels off the leather glove, dropping it on the bed beside you to avoid smearing your wetness on your skin, something he knows you hate. You're too far gone to react as his bare hand gently caresses your body and adjusts you into a position to cover your modesty. 

And just like that, the show is over.

He removes the remaining glove and mask and strips off his suit jacket. He doesn't bother to redress you in your own clothes, instead manipulating your pliable body into the jacket that dwarfs you. He's only gentle like this in moments you won't remember, times when you're not in your body to witness the almost tenderness with which he picks you up and takes you to the small room you've claimed as your own. He cleans you up and settles you in the nest of blankets you call a bed. You're safe there, all tucked up and observed at every angle by his looming eyes.

Later, when he's settled back in his office, watching you sleep contently, he looks over the almost obscene amount of money his showing of you generated and plots exactly how he's going to spend it on you.

[blasphemous-lies-and-deceit]

It was looking to be as restful a day off as Michael had hoped. 

He woke up late in the morning, with bright sunshine peeking through the curtains, bringing out the color of his blankets and pillows. It also shone brilliantly on the dark spill of hair that belonged to his bed companion. Gerry was there and still asleep, judging from the soft snoring noises he was making, and hopefully he would be willing to stay there for the remainder of the day. Michael happily snuggled in close to him, slipping an arm around Gerry's wonderfully broad chest and reveling in the novelty of it, even after nearly two months of dating. But it was something he could become very used to, making Gerry a permanent and welcome fixture in his bed and his life. 

Michael knew that Gerry felt the same. Rather, he had a very strong and supernatural suspicion that he did. It was coming to him more and more‒ moments of sudden odd certainty, without any apparent source. Things he couldn't possibly know. Hidden information coming easily to his fingers and thoughts. The occasional slip of emotions brushing against his, filling his thoughts with the other's intention.

It had really only happened with Gerry so far, although he was starting to suspect he could pick up Gertrude's too. That could explain where the occasional thoughts of destruction and drive came from. But it was mostly Gerry, his wants and longings like a song in Michael's head. One he could tune out if needed, but sometimes…sometimes he listened. 

Gerry wanted to be there. Not just in the physical sense‒ he wanted to belong, to be Michael's, in a way that was far deeper than a few months of togetherness would warrant. There were other thoughts, cold abandoned thoughts that those desires were born from, thoughts that Gerry did his best to ignore to focus on the present. Those thoughts made Michael want to wrap him up in his arms and assure him that he would never let him go. 

There was no point in denying that desire anymore, Michael decided, pressing a soft sleepy kiss to Gerry's head. He wanted Gerry to stay, and Gerry wanted the same. Gerry wanted to give all of himself to Michael, so Michael would open his arms and welcome him in. Michael wanted every little piece of Gerry, and he was slowly getting them, delighting him with every fragment. Gerry was letting his hands wander more, was showing more and more of himself to him, and Michael truly adored every bit of him that he was allowed. Even if Gerry pulled back or got too shy, it didn't matter. Gerry was still his.

Michael left one last kiss on his head before squirming out of the warm blanket nest, stretching luxuriously before strolling into the washroom. He had specific hopes for their lazy day in bed, which did require some preparation. And he felt like indulging a bit, taking his fancy sweet-smelling soaps into the shower with him. Hell, he could take the time to wash his hair, style and dry it before Gerry woke up. It was his day off - he could do as he pleased.

It wasn't long after he began cleansing his hair that the shower door opened, and a warm body plastered to his back. "Good morning, Gerry," Michael cheerfully directed over his shoulder, pulling the rest of his hair out of the way. Gerry just mumbled something and buried his face deeper into his back, arms tightening around his waist. He was naked, Michael noticed with surprise‒ of course he was, they were in the shower, of course he was naked. But this was the first time that they were naked, in the shower, <i>together</i>. Maybe he was still too sleepy to realize that, or maybe Gerry was hoping to play off the impact of the moment, but Michael still felt the weight of the occasion. He definitely felt it.

Moving very casually, Michael slid his hand over one of Gerry's, capturing it and raising it away from his waist. He brought it up to his lips and pressed a kiss to the eye on the back of it before returning their hands to his waist, holding it there. Gerry was leaning heavily onto him, all of his weight upon him, and Michael loved it, absolutely loved it. He shifted a bit to better brace himself on the slippery floor and went back to washing his hair, letting Gerry enjoy clinging to him. He was enjoying it, too. 

When he was done and letting his hair rest on top of his head to marinate in conditioner, Michael turned his head to look at Gerry over his shoulder. His hair was wet and plastered to his skin, and he gave absolutely no indication that he was any more awake than he had been when he'd stepped into the shower. "Gerry?" Michael asked softly. "Can I wash your hair for you?"

Gerry was quiet, but his arms tightened ever so slightly around his middle. "Yeah," he finally grunted, accompanied by a nod that rubbed his stubbley cheek into Michael's wet skin. It was stupidly adorable, and Michael smiled as he turned in Gerry's arms, reaching for his shampoo again. He filled his palm with a generous amount of gel and began working it into Gerry's hair, rubbing his fingers in and sudsing up the strands. Gerry breathed out a soft moan against his chest, slumping harder against him. His eyes were closed, either from tiredness or the spray of water, or maybe to avoid Michael's eyes on him. The scars that marred his body were quite prominent, after all, but Michael barely paid any attention to them. There were far more important tasks at hand. 

"Your hair's gonna smell like mine," Michael relished, gently tipping Gerry's head back to gaze fondly at his relaxed face. "I'm already thinking about taking you back to bed and putting my face in your hair, just so I can smell how familiar you are." The next noise Gerry made was louder, more obvious, a noise a pure want. "Do you like that?"

"Yeah," Gerry choked out, pressing into his fingers when Michael tilted his head back into the water. "That's…yeah." One of his hands slid up, the palm of his hand resting in the middle of Michael's back, like they were dancing together rather than showering. That image in his mind was beautiful to Michael, guiding Gerry closer again to press a kiss to his forehead. The sweet smell of the shampoo filled his nose, making him sigh in contentment. That was a good smell on Gerry. 

Michael wondered, as he slicked up his hands with conditioner and combed his fingers through Gerry's hair, if there was more that Gerry would allow. It wasn't even sex that he was thinking about, even though they could easily transition to that. He really wanted to put his hands on Gerry, all over him, without him feeling like it was a big deal. He didn't want Gerry to feel like it was a big deal, because it wasn't, not really. Michael felt like it would be an honor to touch Gerry everywhere, a privilege he hoped he had earned by now.

Only one was to find out.

"Can I wash you now?" he whispered to Gerry. Gerry's eyelids fluttered, but didn't open. 

"Yes."

Michael pushed down the urge to thank him, pressing another kiss to his forehead instead. It was no big deal, after all. He reached for his body wash, then paused.

"Do you use a loofah, or‒"

"Just my hands," Gerry explained, and Michael rolled his eyes fondly. Of course. He did the same, lathering up his hands again before rubbing them over Gerry's back and neck, reaching as far down his spine as he could. The texture of his scars was distinct under his hands, but didn't slow Michael down as he returned to Gerry's upper back, running his hands over the thick muscles of his shoulders. 

"Mmm, big muscles," he drawled, which choked a laugh out of Gerry. 

"Come off it."

"No. I like how strong you are. Let me appreciate it." His hands urged Gerry's arms up, raising them over his head so he could focus his attention on the undersides of them. Gerry tensed and flinched, arms snapping back down to trap Michael's hands in his armpits.

"I can do that myself," he protested, eyes still firmly closed.

"Or I can do it," Michael offered, gently urging his arms back up. He resisted the urge to give Gerry a tickle, or to plant his face in the wiry blonde hair and give him a sniff, and simply settled for washing him, as promised. The rest could come when they were more familiar with each other. When he could touch Gerry however he wanted.

Gerry remained obediently still under his hands, but Michael could feel him tensing up as he ran his soapy hands down his chest. The scars did look quite bad there, Michael noted, and lightened his touch. Did they still hurt? Was Gerry more or less sensitive because of the burns? He didn't know, but he longed to find out. So he could treat him however gently or firmly as he needed to. 

Michael's hands ended up on Gerry's hips, squeezing to feel the muscle and bone underneath. It would be so easy to let his hands move further down, more deliberately, but that really wasn't the point of what they were doing. Instead they slid around to Gerry's back, as Gerry's arms settled around his shoulders, returning the embrace. Michael gently shifted them so they were both under the showerhead, washing away the soap and conditioner as they silently stood together. It was good, it was so sweet and good, and Michael wanted to drown in the lovely feeling. He wanted to keep Gerry in his arms and treat him as softly as he wanted, for as long as he could. That's what Gerry deserved.

Gerry relaxed in his arms again with a sigh, sounding just as content as Michael did. "We're gonna run out of hot water soon," he pointed out, one hand limply flopping in the direction of the showerhead. 

"At least I cleaned you up first," Michael giggled, kissing the side of his head. It was marvelous, the way Gerry felt in his arms, trusting and soft, and he gave him a tight squeeze before letting go. "Let me finish with my hair, then we can go back to bed."

"Oh?" Gerry paused before he slid the door open, a hint of a teasing smile on his lips. "Is that what we're doing today?" His eyes were finally open, and moving all over Michael's naked body with obvious appreciation. The soft warm feeling in his chest deepened and burned in him, and Michael smirked in return, shifting into a more alluring pose.

"That's my intention," he confirmed, and watched Gerry's eyes light up. Perfect. "Now shoo. You can help me with my curls some other time, when we're not in danger of running out of hot water."

Gerry sucked in a deep breath, looking floored by the possibility of reciprocating. His hands twitched, as if he wanted to ignore Michael's words and help him right away, but the shower head abruptly spat out a jet of cold water, making them both yelp. Gerry quickly backed out, and Michael grabbed his next hair product as he awkwardly hopped out of the way of the frigid water. "Better hurry up," Gerry urged as he closed the door behind him. "I'll be waiting."

"Damn right you will," Michael muttered to himself as he worked in his curl primer. As soon as his curls were set he was going to throw himself at Gerry and enjoy what they'd only just begun, and if they had time afterwards, he would also take some time to hold Gerry close again, naked and exposed and all for him.

He'd only had a taste, but he already wanted more.

[faustiandevil]

There is no greater personal Hell of your own making then getting obsessed with some dead actor and not being able to watch their entire filmography.

[smaeemo]

Season 5 of House was a genuine fever dream.

So just fyi I watched all of season 5 in one day and I am still not totally sure if I have processed even half of it, but like lets get into it.

So SPOILERS in the next part, so QUICK scroll away!

So, ok.

We start out the season strong after learning that Amber died while picking up House from drinking, and because of that, Wilson leaves and tells House that he thinks "They were never really friends,"

House is already going down a dark path of guilt ever since Amber died and has since been drowning in it. But, because this was "technically not his fault" he continues to tell himself such.

Now I don't remember if it was this season or last season when foreteen becomes a thing, but like yeah.

Taub has that whole thing prior to Kutner about how suicide is selfish and terrible and he reveals that he did in fact attempt suicide in med school.

We see that Kutner starts to decline nearing the end, now yes I understand that Kutner was technically written off because Kal Penn was offered a job in the Whitehouse (thanks obama), but lets analyze this as a whole. Kutner, being one of the prime characters that everyone compares to House. One of the characters that is supposed to have an element that most anyone can relate to, a character with a tragic backstory and a reason for how he acts. Another character that acts like House but for different reasons. Kutner at his core, is an enigma that I suppose we as watchers were supposed to unfurl as the show went on. However, we all know that his time was cut short. And I think that in itself this was an accurate representation of what suicide can look like. As someone who has been suicidal and attempted before, what I can say is that most of the time for me, it was on impulse it was at a random time because something set me off. And for Kutner I think it was honestly the fact that he was constantly compared to House (alongside many other things). Imagine that you were an adopted brown person into a white family after watching your bio parents be brutally murdered. You spend your life with an already complex understanding (or lack thereof) of your identity and personality as a whole. We see that Kutner has always had trouble with that (the bullying as an example) and how he is very frequently connecting with patients who he believed were in similar situations that he had been in. Like many kids who had to grow up too fast, Kutner now in his late 20s is just now discovering this ideation of what it means to be a child/have free will. And with this, we see this personality that comes of it, and his lack of understanding of what that looks like. We see him finally taking accountability of his bullying after years (which could also be interpreted as making ammends) and how when the patient tells him he is really not a "people person,"

Kutner's identity his whole life has been practically decided for him, whether it be being adopted into a white family, growing up too fast, being a bully, not being a "people person," or the most prevalent in the show being like House. While House's character and personality is a complex one and romantized one at most, he is a genuinely miserable person who has the goal of making everyone around him miserable as well (whether that be subconsciously or not) House is one of the most complicated and complex people I have ever seen. He is portrayed by himself mostly as someone who is only there to solve puzzles, an apathetic "monster," someone with no morals, etc. And we as viewers are constantly reminded of this in many ways, such as his treatment of patients, Cuddy, Wilson, etc. but we also get to see his more soft and human side. Which the team very rarely sees, given that he hides that from his employees and is also their authority. If anything, constantly being compared to House was something that one could only assume would start to chip away at you especially if there was truth in it. Take foreman for an example, he tried so hard not to be like house, not to be what he feared most, and that was losing his morals, aka becoming what he perceives as house. Then take Kutner, Kutner his entire life has been put into boxes never truly getting a chance to properly form his own identity, and that eventually builds and builds. And I think that from his last case, or something along the lines of it, he discovered that he was too much like house, or that his attempts that finding his own identity were futile. Kutner has a deep rooted unsolved trauma that effected him in his everyday life no matter what he did. And in spite of that and because of it, he acted the way he did, for better or for worse. And all in all, they had to kill of Kutner not only because Kal Penn's job, but also because they could start to humanize and change House's destructive path or at least divert it a little bit.

Kutner and Amber died for House's character development, which is why when House starts to go down an even deeper and darker spiral of guilt after Kutner dies the episodes start getting even more House-centric. This season we saw more human sides of house than we have ever seen before, and we also see what that does to him. Whether that be the methadone arc, or the flagrant disregard for his life, and of course the hallucinations. Kutner's death effected House in such a deep way that he started taking so much valium that along side his sleep deprivation caused his guilt to surface from repression and give him actual hallucinations. Amber being the one he had repressed for too long, Amber being the dominoe that started this whole clusterfuck.

Then of course we have the nightmare (hallucination) that was the last 2 episodes of the season, wherein the lipstick and Cuddy were both being used as metaphors for his own dependency and addiction. Along with the case that argues his "split brain" one side, the creative side making the hallucination telling him that be should become clean and sober and using Cuddy as an example for that. But then the otherside taking cuddy and her lipstick and using it as a metaphor for his obsession. In this season we see House's everything decline as his world falls apart, Cuddy, Wilson, his team, his dad, everything and then we finally see him snap.

House going to rehab what arguably the overarching point of this season, the point being that they slowly send him down a descending path, and then when he gets to the final step he does something, the one thing he can do, which is admit himself to rehab and admit he has an issue. Amber, Wilson, his dad, Kutner, Cuddy, and the hallucination was a wake up call for him and even he knew that early on, hence the one meeting with his psychiatrist. Even then, he knew he needed help. And his breaking point, was seeing Kutner and realizing all of his growth, his whole perception of his "life story" and character development was fake was his last straw.

House finally broke, and that was this season's point. House's pain and guilt finally winning him over, and eventually breaking him.

[rolandkaros]

forever hilarious to me that tennis is promoted as this prestigious highbrow big-brain sport when most tennis fans these days are like. yeah this is my favorite player. yeah i don't know why they're like that. yes they are stupid. no i will not choose somebody else.

[localguy2]

Zane... Ooooooooh boy...

I really really like the Wyldfyre shorts, they're a great way to explore Wyldfyre's grief without having to dedicate screentime from the main show.

At the same time, excuse me Wyldfyre, what did you just say he told you?

I am annoyed more so at the writers and not the character, tho his character is a close second.

The ONLY good thing about his character from Crystalized just got thrown out and into the garbage for... No reason?

And this isn't like, Wyldfyre being an unreliable narrator, because she's literally quoting him, even if it's in condensding manner, and you can't tell me Zane doesn't know the difference between Humans and Nindroids... Like- ugh...

I'm just upset, S1 of DR had his character pretty well I'd say, but S2 has just NOT BEEN IT in the slightest, they seen to be doubling down repeatedly on his robot self and not his human self, and I'm sorry but there's not even any comparison between the two when it comes to which one I like more...

Zane's whole thing was that he was a very very VERY human machine, a person even, and it seemed like he could function as a machine while still maintaining his humanity and personality.

Now, with what we've had since SotFS and now this line, it feels like that balance has completely gone out of whack, it feels like he's favouring his robot self over his human one, and there's nothing inherently wrong that.

Unless... You repeatedly literally don't do anything with his character and just keep building up on the fact that he's "Silly nice robot man :p", and especially when you use his 'Cardboard Cutout' character during the Wildbrain Era as a sort of justification for his current character state.

Mind you, that Cardboard Cutout didn't go through a single character arc up until Crystalized to justify making him feel so much more robotic, and it's hella infuriating when you remember they TRIED to give him an arc after SotFS (Tommy said that they previously wanted to have a Zane PTSD/Depression arc for Prime Empire that was scrapped).

If you can't tell, I'm not happy with his current currently in the slightest...

[blackh0letempest]

To the kids currently going through abuse from their parents, keep pushing forward. You will get out. You will. It feels huge, it's a lot to think about. You will probably make mistakes. But there is not a single living independent adult that hasn't made mistakes in handling their finances, taking care of themselves, etc. The sooner you get out, the sooner you can start to learn who you are when you aren't being abused, and that self is deeply worth knowing. You are worth the effort.

[paldogangsaan]

lowkey the writers insisting on intertwining alicent and rhaenyra + hotd 'being a story abt them' is probably like,,, the source of over half their problems

[dreamieparadise]

Can- can I ask about the Somali pirates?

Hi hi, Lili! Yes, of course. Tbh I shouldn't have called them "pirates" they are known as such and treated like villains, but they're more like unofficial naval guard! The official naval guard was disbanded in the 90's due to the civil war that broke out [btw this civil war is why I'm diaspora! My maternal family fled to Djibouti or elsewhere. My dad came to Canada due to it.] Anyway! Other nations took advantage of this as they tended to do and started fishing illegally in the waters! Somali citizens rely on fishing to live [also farming and agriculture bc I also recall there was a drought and famine going on] so they turned to "piracy" to stop these thieves from stealing from them! Of course, these outsiders didn't like it and called it "piracy." they shouldn't be there in the first place!!!

BFJRKRKRKR I TALKED IM THE TAGS AND REACHED THE LIMIT I AM SO SORRY LMAOOOOO

Other than Puntland there is also Jubbaland ok lol I love talking about my people's history too much

[eliotquillon]

i think some of you need to sit down and interrogate why you dislike sabina so much because from where i’m sitting a lot of it is just thinly veiled misogyny. you don’t have to ship her with alex and you don’t have to like her but i’m so tired of people treating her as nothing more than an obstacle to their ship of choice and then trying to shift the blame onto horowitz for writing her poorly when there are literally dozens of male side characters who we know nothing about that get more fandom attention than sabina does. she’s not some evil irredeemable wench for struggling to support alex after the events of eagle strike. she’s a fifteen year old girl whose entire life was upended and has to watch someone she cares about be blackmailed into putting himself in danger again and again. if you can forgive yassen for sending alex to scorpia or k-unit for treating him like shit in brecon beacons, why can’t you forgive sabina for pulling away and trying to live a normal life. you can find her annoying or boring or pointless as a character, but alex very clearly cares about her. acting like he doesn’t says more about your attitudes towards female characters than it does horowitz’s lol