#and then it all just sort of HITS
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itspileofgoodthings · 2 years ago
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starting to think that life is all about love
#actually though#I’ve been thinking so much about the way that I am#(or honesty the way that all human beings are. i don’t know that it’s particular to me)#but my heart is cold so much of the time. and there’s just this big distance between me and the things I should care about#and some of that is my analytical side and some of that is sometimes depression and sometimes it’s just human nature I suspect!#but i think so much about love as a choice. and it IS and it has to be when love isn’t something you can feel at will#and I’ve been thinking about the cold and rules-based relationship I have with God#the daily check-ins. the checked boxes. the given offering. and the lack of warmth behind it#and sometimes it’s just. man. that’s what conversion IS#the transforming of that into love. love that is warm and giving and that is my motive for moving forward#and I know those steps and check-ins and prayers and offerings are important#but I know they’re not the heart#and sometimes I see that I can’t create the warmth in me that I need#i can’t generate it#and then it all just sort of HITS#that I need to be thawed! that I am cold and distanced and uninterested and forgetful#and that I’ll never be any different until God draws closer and closer. until I can feel and understand the warmth#with which I am already loved! and held in being#and I know and believe it intellectually and most of the time I have nothing to give in return#definitely nothing emotionally#but if I WERE to. it would only be because I was thawed. because I was cracked open like an egg to use another metaphor#it would only be because Love that was greater than me would thaw out my cold cold little heart#and idk. I’m rambling and also missing big connecting pieces between these thoughts#but sometimes it hits me that the POINT of life is for that Love to change me so that I can love in response#and the actions are important because they keep me on the path. but it’s only about keeping myself in the place where the warmth of the love#of God can blast through me and change me#and that HASN’t happened. I am still cold and selfish and forgetful#but sometimes I know that that is what it is supposed to be#and it’ll probably take my whole life#but the point is: it isn’t about a scorecard or my analysis. it’s about love. it’s about love!
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tawnysoup · 3 months ago
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two new critters just dropped
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nedlittle · 2 years ago
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genuinely i think it's important for adults, especially in the plague times, to play pretend in our day-to-day lives. when i rub my back down with tiger balm so i can sleep without pain, i imagine i am a valiant knight tending to an old injury i received from a dragon. when i go to the store to pick up eggs and milk, i am a lone cowboy riding into town on a mission. when i turn my collar up against the wind i am a femme fatale who's killed 4 husbands and is scoping out a 5th. when i stomp around in the snow i am a doomed polar explorer. if being a little bit silly about my walk to the pharmacy helps me remember that life can be full of joy and whimsy, then so be it.
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madamemiz · 1 year ago
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sad: falling out of a hyperfixation
tragic: watching your beloved friends and mutuals fall out of the hyperfixation while you're still in it
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cyberpunkboytoy · 1 month ago
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I see a lot of people in the Mouthwashing tag frequently listing 'keeping Curly alive' in the list of crimes Jimmy has done, implying or sometimes outright saying that not mercy-killing Curly was a cruel and unusual act...and would like to caution against that.
There's a long history of abled people deciding someone's quality of life is too horrible to merit letting them live (usually to nonverbal or otherwise 'low functioning' people lacking a clear means to communicate) and condoning the murder of disabled people under the guise of kindness. Curly is an extreme example, and one could argue he might prefer to be 'put out of his misery,' but it's important to note that we don't know, no one asks, and there's no attempt to communicate either which way.
How extreme pain and 'low quality of life' are handled are very nuanced and complicated topics, but you can never decide for someone else what kind of life isn't 'worth living.' Curly is obviously a videogame character, but these attitudes can and do affect the lives of real people & are worth being aware of.
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vaguely-concerned · 2 days ago
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the barista lady in the treviso café fucking giggles every time you buy the fancy coffee lucanis likes from her btw. can't believe the game is calling out rook and me like this
#I've tried it several times to check it wasn't a fluke and nope it does happen consistently I'm pretty sure it's intentional#bioware Know. they knowwww. they know exactly what I'm like and god bless them for it#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#café pietra barista gazing kindly at rye like 'I know what you are.' (a simp) while the tips of his ears go very very warm#clearly some sort of underlying drift compatability here since rook in one night can somehow manage to hit on all two (2)#of the elements of lucanis' instinctive understanding of courtship behaviour (knives and coffee/food) hfksjdfhas#in lucanis' defense when a guy buys you knives AND good coffee (despite not even drinking the stuff much himself) on a first date...#when your love language is that unhinged and they straight up compose a shakespeare level sonnet in it on the spot#seemingly without even realizing it. I mean what else can you be expected to do but fall so cataclysmically in love#that you'd kill god over it any day of the week easy. wild stuff#even wilder since in my playthrough he isn't entirely sure rye meant anything by it/as more than a friendly gesture#for like. MONTHS.#lucanis is a regular at that place and they all for sure know exactly who he is so can you IMAGINE the gossip that must start#after that conversation starts to take on a flirty edge. hotboi crown prince of the crows returns from the dead and is making eyes#at ~*mysterious stranger*~ who just showed up in town. some I hear netherfield park is let at last stuff going on for these guys#as they watch all of this go down
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crabsnpersimmons · 29 days ago
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Hmmmm.... yk what I was thinking of a few days ago? Carrots, carrots are good for your body and help regulates your blood pressure. I love carrots so much, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. I always thought hye sun or any sun rays looked like carrots, like get one ray and then put a small heart-shaped green paper cut-out above it, then I'm fully convinced its a carrot I might as well be convinced even without the paper cut-out. Nom, nom.
ough that's such a cute idea, i had to doodle it real quick
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💚🥕 carrot boy sun 🥕💚
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ukehole · 1 year ago
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this too is poetry
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aberration-abbey · 5 months ago
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i made a comic about the new update
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tevanbuckley · 6 months ago
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this might be controversial, but man am i becoming increasingly convinced that buddie trutherism* is just not (and probably never has been) a very healthy way to engage with this show. *to be clear, by this i don't mean shipping buddie, or hoping it'll be canon, or thinking that it could be, i mean the completely unshakeable belief that it is absolutely going to happen (and to a lesser extent that it's always been the plan).
every single piece of evidence for buddie is evidence of a potential, often very compelling potential, but there is really nothing to suggest some big six season plan or any plan at all.
i'm sure a lot of these ppl (maybe even most) aren't bad, or doing anything out of malice. however, i do think having a large chunk of the fandom make post after post, week after week, season after season going "don't worry guys, buddie's definitely happening because of x, y or z," has helped create the current environment. where ppl have spent so long in a bubble where buddie's been presented as the only reasonable outcome, that they can't conceive of the idea they might've been wrong.
atp a lot of buddie meta isn't a queer reading of the show/relationship it's just straight up lies. no tommy isn't a miserable hater who never smiles at his bf, nor is he a predatory freak preying on sweet baby bi buck, and no eddie wasn't jealous at the wedding, no buck didn't realise he was in love with eddie when he came out to him. truly, after a decade in different fandoms, I don't think i've ever seen shipping goggles this bad.
again i don't think the ppl making meta/analysis about things that genuinely have some queer subtext to them are bad or doing anything wrong. but, when a narrative that you're contributing to is feeding into this much wider ecosystem that's influencing others to harass ppl and peddle homophobic dog whistles in an attempt to bridge the gap between their fanon and canon, at what point do you step back and go, "you know what, i don't think it's responsible for me to feed into this anymore."
and i worry that even the people who aren't hurting others with this kind of engagement, are gonna end up hurting themselves in the long run.
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hylianane · 7 months ago
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And when OPLA calls back to Zeff telling the crew to read stories to Zoro so he can hear their voices and recover faster, by having Sanji sit by his bedside on Thriller Bark and read him a book about the All Blue. What will you do then?
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ineed-to-sleep · 7 days ago
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Jackie died. Jackie died and I'm devastated. I will never be the same person again
#I had to pause the game to bawl my eyes out#I WAS SO INVESTED IN HIM ARE YOU KIDDING ME#I think I get what you're trying to say to me game. is it worth it to put yourself in danger#and destroy yourself for a chance at a fame that you probably won't even get to enjoy#because you won't be there to see it?#is it worth it to break the hearts of the people you love in this pursuit? the people who'll grieve you?#I mean it's part of the first question that dex asks you when this whole thing starts and the last thing he says to you is also about that#about whether you wanna live a peaceful life or. go out like this#I get that. if that's what it's going for I get that. it gets the point across I'm not angry. but also#THAT WAS MY FRIEND#JACKIE MY FRIEND JACKIE 😭#WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE DIED OF BLOOD LOSS THIS IS BULLSHIT#I'm never getting over this#sleep.txt#cp2077#jackie welles#OK OK HOLD ON I have more to say. I wanna expand on that jdjfkdkf bc I have Thoughts. especially playing corpo v like#I think the whole thing hit me even harder as corpo bc you get to see a sort of parallel situation with your v#where you had all this renown and respect but it came at a great cost. so great it nearly killed you#and then you go through that again and now you're dying and your friend is dead#and it's all in the pursuit of fame and money#that scene in the car when they're heading for the hotel reminded me so much of that initial scene with v#when you get in your fancy car and sip your fancy champagne#and like 10 minutes later nearly get killed by people from arasaka#I think there might be a point to be made there. about jackie heading towards the same kind of life just with a different coat of paint#being seduced by the same things we were seduced by while accepting the cost without fully understanding it#and then when you're faced with it it's. well it's heartbreaking and life ending#self destruction in the pursuit of something that makes you wonder if it was even all that worth it to begin with#viktor vektor is probably the happiest person I've met so far and that's saying something#anyway rant over. ty for your time I'm gonna go cry over jackie in the corner excuse me
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dykedvonte · 22 days ago
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Why do you think did Curly let Jimmy go before the crash? I've seen the theory Curly briefly thought about crashing too but didn't expect Jimmy to go through with it
I generally believe it was shock and a bit of denial.
It’s the sort of thing where Curly knew Jimmy enough to know he blows up at things but he never would’ve expected him to go through with something so crazy. He gives Jimmy way too much benefit. It’s just his nature and the dynamics he has with Jimmy. They have a stable relationship as friends but it’s stabilized by the unhealthy toxic aspects that keep him in it. He’s like this with Anya, taking the gun is something he really shouldn’t have kept off the record, so is Swansea’s feigned hostility toward Daisuke. He doesn’t want to get people in trouble and doesn’t want to believe anyone would cause trouble other than to themselves. He’s a very lenient man.
I think the words were hollow in his head. Said but not really meant like all the times Jimmy lashes out and says something cruel to him or others. He never means it, if he did why would he still be Curly’s friend? Curly’s head wasn’t in the right space in that moment, he just got through panicking with Anya and if the sound design is anything to go by, was panicked and preoccupied going to confront Jimmy. I mean, the flash of the warning signs before he runs back are identical to the dissociative episode of sort he has when going to talk to Jimmy to do his Psyc eval.
There is this sort of assumption in fanon that Curly was the idealic person for the job and simply failed. None of them were the idealic people to be there, it’s Curly’s entire concern with the ladder he chose. I see more interpretations of him being purposefully ignorant where I see him as just always looking the wrong way or not in a place where he can see it. There’s something different about seeing something than being told about it in the human mind. It may just be the psych student in me but Curly def has some sort of cognitive dissonance just like Jimmy but when it comes to his role as a Captain vs who he is.
They blur in his head to where if you ask him if he was acting as a Captain or a friend or himself to his crew he couldn’t answer. Not with confidence even if he did. There are many times we see that Curly himself is not in the right headspace to lead the Tulpar and that’s outside of anything with Jimmy. He’s spacey, he’s not sleeping, he’s deeply unhappy with himself and life. It’s why there’s believability he crashed the ship. Maybe the others saw it, or maybe Jimmy heard enough of it to spin it in a way that made Curly seem suicidally depressed.
So the tdlr is I think it wasn’t so much letting Jimmy go, more so not seeing the severity of what he was allowing to transpire. In his mind it’s just another one of Jimmy’s bluffs, cruel words, off words but just words. Jimmy rarely ever acts, why would he now? Maybe he’s never seen it because Jimmy hides those actions? Either way, he just never thought he’d really do it.
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vynnyal · 6 months ago
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Turns out Sunlit Trail isn't quite done just yet, so after all that they just send you to a dead end 😂
#rain world#comic#rw chasing wind#sunlit Trail#Hunter#Art#Chasing wind spoilers#I can't imagine anyone filters that tag but just in case sksksks#ANYWAYS turns out mod is way better than I expected and it's super well made.#So far made the trip as hunter (first time) then riv and now working on arti.#For arti I realized that howling rifts led to sub and sub led to dar shore so I was like sweet! A shortcut!#Now imagine for a sec trying to get through a parkcore + miros bird gauntlet with a corpse and a worm within 5 cycles#before the scav ran out of karma and you were stuck inside forever. Yeah#Besides that tho I've been messing around and been very tenderly modding the game.#Turns out you can have a bit of fun with most sprites without too much effort by simply cloning the MSC mod in your files#Then changing the copy's mod info so it doesn't clash and simply swapping images out for whatever you want#As long as you have the sprite name you can do this. You can also change region names and decals and music all sorts of stuff.#In short I've been brewing a custom mod for a friend to make her suffer as much as possible <3#Thanks to a buddy on the rw server for showing me that trick btw lol. The best cesspool I've ever participated in#Oh before I forget- the symbol on CW's head is completely made up. They just looked so... Bald.#Tbh I wasn't expecting their personality to be so... bright? Most interpretations make them kinda solemn and gloomy#But nah this CW is what NSH should've been 100%. I like them. Not gonna spoil too much but their situation is somehow so... chill.#Still bad tho!#Other fun news! There's a scammer going around on discord that's basically like ''bad news I reported you for fraud''#And they're getting a lot of people. My buddy that owned my home server got hit and we lost everything. It's all OK tho nobody was hurt#I keep trying to ask them questions on my alts but they're ignoring me... I kinda wanna bait them into doing the scam with me#to see how far I get before they catch on 😜#Wasting a scammer's time is never a waste of time#Ah I had more to say but I reached my tag max. Till next time- hopefully my animation project will be done by then!
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aracariwren · 4 months ago
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more of the Miitopia 3DS promo/default Miis! it's always a good idea to have a pop star with you when you have a chef! (that way, the chef can Spicy Dish twice >:D)
cat, cleric, mage, and warrior
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forgotten-daydreamer · 4 months ago
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Tim: alcohol is cool! but have you ever had someone care about you?
Dick: ...
Tim: me neither :D pass the bottle!
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