#and then im not able to write for the next weeks
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I’m very sleepy so there are probably mistakes and redundancies galore below buuuuut read on for a rant about how weirdly Trick Weekes treats Qunari characters/culture.
I said this in a comment elsewhere buuuut I just realized that Trick Weekes does something VERY odd with the Qunari they write. As a black woman it does not sit right with me.
The Qunari, racially, are the group most evocative of people of color in western society Irl. They are treated as savages, visually very different (scary by Thedas’ standards), often hypersexualized, and generally perceived as hyper aggressive.
With that in mind I’d like to dig into Taash and Iron Bull a bit.
Iron Bull and Taash have narratively similar character arcs — raised under the teachings of the Qun, enter an identity crisis, do they conform or deconstruct?
Iron Bull is a Ben Hasserath that is surprisingly cooperative and ‘worldly’, compared to all other Qunari we’ve interacted with in games past. He’s got a lovely little band of misfits, is well spoken, and generally open minded/kind. As we get to know him we come to discover that all his charming qualities are exactly what make him ill suited for Qunari society—everything GOOD about him is other. UNLESS you enter a romance with him, in which case the ‘fun’ hold overs from a sex-as-a-biological-imperative society are BDSM. So, compared to the other available romances he’s quite lewd. His character development stalls a bit if you romance him UNTIL you get to the Bulls Chargers portion of his mission where it is either—sacrifice everyone and remain with the culture and world you truly do care about, or do the ‘right thing’ and cast off everything you know to save your found family. The narrative treats the latter as the ‘right choice’ in Trespasser when a non-Tal Vashoth Bull turns on the inquisitor regardless of relationship. Affirming to the player that all those who follow the Qun are mindless dogmatic murderers without real empathy or attachments. (Obviously there is more along the way with guilt and loss of identity, but I’m painting the broad strokes)
In a vacuum, this feels…fine. It could just be a story about a guy in a culture. A tale of deconstruction. It feels uncomfortable considering the cultural allegories that are easy to make with the Qun—it feels non western religiously. An amalgamation of maligned cultures BUT it’s easy to feel like maybe we’re reading too deeply.
Then enters Taash and the Qunari we see in Veilguard.
I have not seen what happens with Taash and their choice to “be more Rivaini or more Qunari” (I’m a biracial black woman and that makes my skin fucking crawl) but the implication is damning when looking at it next to Iron Bull’s story. (I’m also still playing VG so take this with a grain of salt. Taash has also been the most overtly sexual character the earliest in the game, I haven’t gotten more than a hint from any other character (save for Davrin, but it was a subtle flirt) but Taash? They’ve sniffed my neck, growled, and asked if I wanted to fuck them. So, once again, hypersexualizing the Qunari companion.
The Qunari in Veilguard are beyond flattened and instead split into two groups—the civilized, understanding, assimilated Qunari & the near mindless, violent, occupying, murdering defected Antaam.
The Qunari NPCs I’ve over heard in game have all been quick to yell “I’m just Antivan!” Or “I’m not Antaam” or the below grossssssssss dialogue (paraphrased from a convo I head at the LOF base)
“So, you’re Qunari”
“No, I don’t follow the Qun.”
“But you have the horns”
“I was born in X city. Qunari means ‘people under the Qun’ and I wasn’t raised with that”
“Oh then, if you’re not Qunari what do I call you?”
“How about X name”
…IM SORRY WHAT?!?!?! This gives entirely “I don’t see color” and is INSANE to put in a game in 2024. We are familiar with Tal Vashoth, we’ve been able to play as Tal Vashoth Qunari (racially) characters in two games. Hell, we have a similar allegory for it in real life with Jewish folks!! There is a distinct difference between being ethnically Jewish (I.e ashkenazi, etc pls correct my terminology) and religiously Jewish but erasing either is fucking gross????
Just like yeah, I’m [my name] but I’m also visibly fucking black and pretending I’m not does nothing but provide more room for the marginalization I experience to go completely unchecked because “I’m just [name]”
The handling is especially upsetting because I was REALLY hoping we’d get a slice of normal life in this game in a perfectly average Qunari settlement/encampment or something so we could see some of this culture outside of their violent defectors and “one of the good ones” Tal Vashoth.
#trick weekes#dragon age inquisition#dragon age#datv critical#dragon age veilguard#bioware critical#fenharel is so swell oooo he makes me wanna yell
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stuck, send help
#ෆ tori's thoughts#sometimes i wonder why do i have a creativity peak#and then im not able to write for the next weeks#current wip
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My comic is so pretty...
The hiatus is letting me take a little extra time on these episodes, and I'm definitely putting it to good use!!!
#almost done with my 8th episode... which will give me. two weeks. of buffer...#id really like at LEAST a month... but to be more comfortable id like two#which means 2-6 more episodes before I come back!#I've got about 7 weeks so its possible. but i do still have to finish book 4#so much to do ..........#I decided for my next comic im doing 3 updates a month.#having 10 days instead of 7 to make an episode is such a huge huge huge difference...#difference in quality and in my health!#anyways the comic is really pretty im really happy with the work im doing rn#the environments especially. im getting to spend a nice amount of time on them and theyre turning out so nicely#its nice to be able to write with a lot of different environments and not have to redo panels when I get to them cause of time#cause every time theres a wild angle? you need a new background...#so sometimes. often actually. there just isnt the time to make the backgrounds for those and i have to make them more flat...#which is fine. it doesnt really affect anything narratively. but. idk. it's kinda sad right?#anyways yeah! 10 days will be much better.#36 episodes a year is about what ive been uploading with my hiatuses on the weekly schedule anyways!#so might as well cut out that super stressful middleman and just commit to that#52 a year is just such a huge difference and i have to accept its not possible to me#i will hurt myself trying to do that. and i want to make comics my whole life!#so i cant push myself that hard now and sacrifice my future. we're gonna go slower after this...#anyways yeah cant wait to come back but also time. if I could get an extra week like a secret one just for me#where theres no chores no nothin just me and my work#thatd be great! so go ahead and do what you gotta do to give me a little pocket dimension#me: ugh i want to return right now...#the more logical me: NO we need the time to finish everything!!!!!! NOT right now!!!!#time and time again#ttawebcomic#comic panels#hiatus stuff#adam and steve
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thoughts on maxiel teens au? been thinking abt them a little too much lately with everything that's been happening and im just wondering how it would've been if they'd met as kids back in Australia,,, like
just two seventeen year old kids trying to get thru life at this age,,,
#is it weird?#im too invested in this au#maybe this is all ill be able to think about for the next few weeks#daniel ricciardo#max verstappen#maxiel#maxiel fic#writing prompt#teen!maxiel
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I think, genuinely, the coolest part about being in this phandom for so long and semi-consistently putting creative projects out there is that I can look back over the years and see how much growth I've made in all areas of my creativity.
Like, I'm writing things now I wouldn't have even dreamed of years ago, and I'm composing music that past me would have been shell-shocked to hear. And I can see with each new fic I put out, each new song I make, how much better I'm getting. And it's not to say that I've mastered the art of writing and composition, but I've certainly improved a fuckton since like 2017 or whenever the hell I made this account.
Damn, y'all. It turns out that all the experts were right and skill is just a LOT of practice over a long period of time.
#danny phantom#phandom#this post was inspired by: the zine composition i just made#i finished my working draft last night#and imo it blows everything i've ever made before this out of the water#not even a competition#this one is just. better. in all areas.#like i remember working on the last two IB songs and hearing mistakes#spending so long tweaking them#but never QUITE being able to fix them#and now i listen back and hear new mistakes#things i didnt catch back then but i have the ear for now#and i *know* how to fix these issues now#im certainly not perfect and i'm going to make new mistakes with this song#but im sure in even a year i'll listen back to this one and go 'oh! i know what to do here now!'#(oh yeah this post is also partially inspired by The Phantom Martian WHICH IM WORKING ON)#(i wasnt playing a few weeks ago when i said i was writing the next chapter)#(i just am coming off of a 2 week family extravaganza)
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alright lestappen nation give me prompts i need inspo
#disclaimer : chances of me writing romance are LOW#like low low#i like celebrating other sorts of proximity#also i love love angst#so gimme somehting#it silly to say that as i have exams to study and womt be able to write for the next weeks but!! im always more inspires durong these times#formula 1#charles leclerc#max verstappen#lestappen#f1 rpf#f1 rpf fic#fanfiction#writeblr
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These idiots can't drive❤️ is funny but true and motorcycles require alot of weaving dabi is sick 30 seconds in. Boy won't survive the motorcycle.
Even if they could drive.
But anyways why do you give me a stroke everytime I read a little drabble?. Like dabi coming back and misbehaving getting punished then having to behave to be noticed this poor boy....
You're so right about the motion sickness!
Lol I'm not trying to give anyone psychic damage, I'm trying to mend my exhausted brain with some saucy little tidbits :3
#tanco speaks#ask#asks#i have not had the mental bandwith to work on anything big the way i normally do#ive just been playing my little writing game on my lunch break or for an hour aftee my shift before i get ready for bed#but next week im going to my parents for the holiday and my birthday so I'll be able to write again for longer times
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What if I randomly came back from the dead and posted part 2 of that bi-han arranged marriage fic Wouldnt that be so crazy guys? Ahahaha
#mortal kombat#anway#school has been ass im so sorry thay ive been gone#i have finals next week and have 4 due on the same day so im a little out of it#buy hey! in the brightside#winter break starts soon so ill be able to write more I hope#bi han sub zero#bi han x reader#mk bi han#bi han
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update on that btw instead of going to shabbat i accidentally took a nap for two hours
#a little sad about it bc i think next week is Child Shabbat so i cant go even if i have time bc i feel too weird about attending#/i think im not supposed to? on Child Shabbat?#but. i was outrageously tired#box opener#evening is looking up though rn i am eating delicious box mac and cheese with vegetable after that i am going to write more fan fiction#im making myself miserable by reading people's cat fostering accounts but it's also reminding me that i dont drive and will not b#able to take anyone to the vet. and will not enjoy trying.#anyway. enough of that. macaroni cheese and fanfiction about outrageously stupid fantasy geopolitics
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im so excited about this new fic that im thinking about posting a chapter without finishing the entire story (gasp)
#🔵👄🔵 fic#ive already finished ch 1 and 2 so like i could........#im worried that i'll need to tie something into a prev chap when writing a later ones and then not be able to because its already posted#and also in typical tiff fashion i really wanna post it on a schedule#but im just SO EXCITED TO SHARE THIS AHHHHHHHHHH#(this is my convoluted way of saying that i might be dropping a chapter next week 👀)#(no promises on an upload schedule atm)
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HELLOOOO i finally finished the follow-up to my last fic! so here it is 🤭 something i very very much enjoyed writing, and i hope you enjoy reading!!
perfume (a sequel to this, featuring kink!i/nej & a very allergic k/az)
Inej watches the rise and fall of Kaz’s chest as he slumps back in his chair, winded. His hair falls over his face now, the dark strands gorgeously out of place, his eyes are half-lidded and glassy, and his nose is flushed a deep pink - but she’s not done with him just yet. She knows she can unravel him even further than she already has, and what excites her more is that all it will take is a spritz of perfume to practically destroy him.
“You know what? I’ll be right back,” she says to him with a mischievous quirk of her lips. A note of confused panic seeps into Kaz’s watery gaze. “Don’t look so scared, Kaz,” she laughs, “It’s nothing you haven’t dealt with before.”
She winks and leaves for her room once again. Inej knows exactly what she’s looking for - a delicate glass bottle of a strongly floral-scented perfume - so dainty yet so, so powerful. She’s only witnessed its effects on Kaz once before: she’d tried some on one evening, despite perfumes not really being her thing, and even with her having never been in close proximity to him, Kaz had repeatedly dissolved into seemingly neverending fits of uncontrollably harsh sneezes. Torture for him, but quite the opposite for her. A burst of adrenaline rushes through Inej as her hand closes around the bottle, and she has to suppress a giddy peal of laughter as she thinks of Kaz crumbling by her hand. It’s not often you get to see the Bastard of the Barrel’s dignity fall away into smithereens before your very eyes.
Inej returns to Kaz’s office, practically bouncing with every step, and holds up the perfume bottle. He’s knuckling harshly at his nose again, exactly as he’d done before, eyes pressed shut, brows knitted together, and the bridge of his nose wrinkled in a manner not dissimilar to that of a rabbit. She clears her throat softly to catch his attention, and the dark-haired man looks up blearily. His face falls when he sees the bottle Inej is holding. Inej’s excitement spikes - this is sure to be fun, she thinks.
Kaz sighs. “Haven’t you tortured me enough?”
“Not at all,” replies Inej, giving him a smirk. “But, of course, if it gets too much or if you get uncomfortable, or anything, just let me know and we’ll stop, okay?” she adds.
“I’m sure I’ll be alright,” he says, “There’s only so many times a person can sneeze.”
We’ll see about that, Inej thinks, smug. She approaches him and returns to her position seated atop his desk. Kaz drags a gloved finger underneath his nose, back and forth, for a moment, almost as though to brace himself for what’s coming. The way it moves beneath his touch is mesmerising to Inej; the crinkles that appear, the to and fro push of the soft appendage, the nearly imperceptible twitch of his pink nostrils. She almost can’t take her eyes away, however Kaz’s voice pulls her from her trance.
“...Inej?” he says, lifting an eyebrow.
“Ah. Sorry.” She meets his eyes and takes this opportunity to uncap the perfume. Something between pride and power rises in her as Kaz’s expression changes quickly from sceptical to rather wary. This tells Inej that they are both well aware how this is going to end.
“Ready?” she asks once more. Kaz nods without a word. His shoulders are tense and his eyes follow the bottle of perfume as if he’s scared it’ll attack him - it’s almost laughable. Inej spritzes the perfume, once, twice, thrice, about Kaz and watches his gaze follow the mist of droplets as they descend slowly. She wonders how long it will be for him to–
“hh’hehHh–!”
Ah. Almost instantly, Kaz hitches sharply, the back of his hand raised up to his face.
“So soon?” Inej teases. “I thought you’d last longer than that.” She’s sure that under any other circumstance he would have given her the infamous Dirtyhands murder-glare, but judging by his welled-up eyes and quickly reddening nose, he’s a little too preoccupied for that. His breath hitches again, a sharp inhale that flares his nostrils and tells Inej that he’s got no chance of holding back the sneezes that are on the brink of eruption. And, sure enough, Kaz’s eyes slide shut and he tilts his head back, drawing in an immense breath–
“h-haAHht–!”
–before pitching forward with a fit of rather explosive sneezes, muffled haphazardly into his hastily lifted tie.
“-eh’sSZZHH’huh! heH’KXSHHhiew! ‘kzZSHHhuh! haAH’KSCHH-kKXSHhuh! Oh, fuck, fuck– I cah-cahhn’tstop–hhH’KZZSCHHhuuh! ehh’hehH’dtSCHHhiew! ah'haAHh-haahH'sZZHHh'ih! hh'hiht'sSHHUHh! Sai-hih-nts–"
Inej stares at him, transfixed, her deep brown eyes wide and mouth very slightly agape. A soft warmth rises in her cheeks as Kaz emerges from his tie and she notices the darker patch on the fabric. It's obvious he's nowhere near done, but also evident that he won't justify dissolving into another harsh fit quite yet, judging by the way his gloved fist is pressed firmly to the underside of his nose. His breathing is unsteady; it comes in heady gasps, each threatening more sneezes. Inej wonders just how much longer he'll fight it. Every time they meet like this, she feels like she gets more and more fascinated with Kaz's expert holdbacks - it's awe-inducing, the way he pushes a determined knuckle up against his nose, the way his breaths deepen and quicken and become desperate, vocal hitches, the way his eyes nearly roll back in his head as he tries everything within his power not to–
"haAH'ZZSSCHHhiew! Shi-hht!-KXZHHhuh! hh-heHt'zZSHHh'hue!"
The first of the fit erupts from him too fast to be covered, so it leaves a fine mist hanging upon the air in front of his face. Inej's cheeks grow warmer. He swears, or, tries to, between his desperate hitching breaths, before cupping his hands over his face to catch the next onslaught of vicious sneezes.
"hhahH'iihHKSHHhiew! 'ehHSZZHh’uh! hh’hehH’KISSHHhiew! heh’kKXZZHHh!” He lifts his head, features still twitching with need, from his hands with a grimace. Inej sees the palms of his gloves, shining slick with moisture. His ever-flaring red-rimmed nostrils and upper lip glisten slightly with the same slickness, too.
“Sai-saints, ihht’s all-all-hhaah–allovermyglovesSHHh! ‘dtSCHHh-sSHHhuh! Hehh’hhaAHh–! hahH’kKSZZHHhuuh! –hiihHTSCHHHh!” Kaz tries to get a sentence in before giving in to his nose, but his breathy words end up stumbling over one another until the final syllable rises into a desperate sneeze… and after that, he simply doesn’t have the strength to keep the following explosions at bay. The perfume really seems to be doing its job - in fact, Inej had no idea its effect on Kaz would be so immense - as she watches him sneeze relentlessly against the back of his wrist. It appears he is running out of ways to catch the unending fits, especially considering how wet they’re becoming. A part of her craves the idea of him simply sneezing over his lap, as he often did when wracked with one of his terrible hay-fever fits, snapping forward with each vicious outburst until every last drop of that perfume’s scent is out of his system – but she knows he won’t do anything too humiliating. However, Inej might have hit a stroke of luck. Kaz’s fit pauses, and he tilts his head back, the want, the need for release written all over his face. As he does so, the arm he was previously sneezing against drops weakly to his lap, and he’s left hitching in utter desperation with nothing to cover his face. His heavily lidded eyes glisten with tears that cling to his dark lashes and threaten to roll down his face, and his mouth falls slightly agape as his hitching breaths rise in intensity. Rather selfishly, Inej decides he’s taking much too long, and so decides to spray the perfume again, just once, in front of his face. She’s fascinated by the instantaneous rounding of his nostrils as the perfume’s potent aroma enters Kaz’s airways, so much so that a shudder of electric excitement courses up her spine. His chest expands greatly, and with a heaving gasp, he’s finally, finally pushed forward by a set of tearing sneezes, each one stronger than the last.
“hhaAH’SCHHH! 'hhSSHHHhiew! aAH'kKZZSCHHh! –khH'HIISSHHh'uh! hhxXSHHH'hue! 'HZZHHhiew! iihH'zZSHHhuuh! –hah'haAH-sSZZHHhuh! 'iHZZHhiew! F-fuhhck–"
Kaz can hardly get a breath in between violent sneezes, and with each comes a heavy mist of spray that hangs upon the air, almost perfectly mirroring the clouds of scented droplets from each spritz of perfume. Despite his eyes being pressed tightly shut as he's practically unable to force them open between sneezes, several irritated tears manage to sneak from them and slide down his pale cheeks. His nose stands out, a flushed, angry scarlet, from those pale cheeks, and evidently it's nowhere near finished sneezing.
"heh'ihKSSHHH! 'SSHHHhiew! haAH'SZZHHhuh! ahHkKSHHh'uhh! huh-hhuUh'hiihHSHHHhiew! 'kKZZHHh!"
Kaz manages to wrench open his eyes and shifts his watery gaze to Inej, fights back the next onslaught of sneezes to choke out, "S-saints, that's so- hheh–! st-strongGKSHHhiew! hh'haAHH'ISZZHH'hue!"
He pushes his fist firmly against his nose, not eager to continue this dreadfully uncontrollable fit, and hitches rapidly against the leather of his glove.
"Kaz, Ghezen, you're so," Inej says, her voice strained, breathless, "gorgeous." She wants nothing more than to reach out and cup his face with her hand, plant gentle kisses on his terribly sensitive nose, and watch in close-up as he explodes with fits of itchy sneezes - but she knows how vulnerable he's letting himself be, even with the distance between them. Maybe one day will he allow her to hold him as he's wracked with unrelenting bouts of allergies, but for now, she's perfectly happy watching him from afar. Him unravelling himself in this manner is more than enough.
Kaz's cheeks redden at Inej's breathless words, but he still manages to force out a snarky response between hitching breaths.
"N-not while I'm suhh-sneezihhng–!"
"Especially while you're sneezing," she corrects. "Now stop holding back. You needn't be embarrassed."
He nods slowly, breath catching in desperate gasps, nostrils twitching and flaring in such a way that Inej could become addicted to the sight of it, and lifts one hand lazily in front of his face. Though, he seems wary about letting himself sneeze again, despite having done so countless times just moments prior.
"Go on," murmurs Inej encouragingly. It seems that's all the reassurance he needs, or possibly the tickle got too much for even him to contain, for he draws in a deep gasp and shuts his eyes, ducking forward once more.
"-ehh'szZHHhiew! h-huhh'kKTSHHhuh! hhxsSHHhue! Huuhh… hhH'KSHHhuh! 'sSHHUuh! Oh, I think it-it's– haH'isSHHhue! Huh.. think it's stopping… hhah– I hope- 'ihHtsHHhiew!"
His sneezes are beginning to slow down, and they start to sound rather exhausted. Inej takes this as an opportunity to dote on him a little.
"Poor nose getting tired, hmm?" she asks softly. He nods weakly. She internally decided against spraying the perfume again, feeling that he's been adequately tormented. "Do you have a handkerchief on you?"
"Yeah. In the dr–heh'shHhiuh! …sorry. The drawer."
Inej shifts across on the desk and slides open the drawer. Quickly she finds a neatly folded burgundy handkerchief and pulls it out. She gestures subtly toward Kaz's face.
"May I?"
She watches as Kaz gently touches the side of his finger to the underside of his nose, and grimaces as what he sees when he pulls it away. "Saints," he says, repulsion tinting his voice, "Mm. Go ahead."
Inej begins to gently clean up the thin layer of slickness beneath Kaz's pink-hued nose and just above his upper lip with the handkerchief's soft fabric. She notices the almost imperceptible catch of his breath and pulls away just slightly.
"S-sorry, I haveto–tosneezeagainnhHSHHhiew! ah-haahh'szZHh'huh!" He leans back from Inej's outstretched hand to direct a pair of much softer, tired-sounding sneezes into the back of his wrist.
Inej smiles lovingly. "That's okay," she says softly. "Any more?"
He pauses for a second. "...no, yeah, I'm okay, you can- you can carry on."
She finishes up tending to his nose with the handkerchief and leans back with a deep sigh. Kaz looks up at her warily.
"Uh… how- how was that?" he asks rather awkwardly, absently rubbing at one side of his nose with a gloved knuckle.
"Oh, Kaz, love," breathes Inej, "you were spectacular. More than anything I ever could ask for."
Kaz's cheeks turn red. "Love," he mumbles, turning the endearment over in his mind. Evidently he tries to hide his fondness for the pet name, but the corners of his mouth still lift despite his best efforts to suppress it.
"Love," Inej repeats with a smile. She holds Kaz's gaze for a moment or two, before sighing a little and picking the perfume bottle back up from the desk beside her. Brief panic flickers in his eyes, and she laughs softly.
"Don't worry, I'm just putting it away," she says. He nods, but halfway through his eyes haze over and the need to sneeze once more. "Another?" Inej teases, watching his features slowly slacken.
"Y-yes… last one, I hope– hheh-! heh'tSHhhiew! -oh, shit-hhdtsSHH'huh! Huuhh…"
"Bless you," she says, tilting her head lovingly to one side. "Bless you at least, what? Fifty times?"
Kaz pulls a face. "Definitely not that many."
"Well, forgive me for being a little too preoccupied to count them," she replies with a playful eye-roll. He responds with a sardonic shake of his head (and a series of soft sniffles).
"Right, I've got paperwork to be getting to," Kaz says shortly. His words are ever so slightly noted with a hint of congestion.
Inej lifts her eyebrows at him. "Straight back to business, after all that?"
"Well clearly you've got other… matters to attend to," he replies, looking Inej up and down. She feels her face heat up.
"Right," she says quickly, "then I'll leave you to it."
#ahhh okay here it us#*IS ew#hope you likey#sorry if its a bit repetitive or anything i didnt write this all in one go so it might be weird SRY#anyway hope u love more i/nej torturing allergic k/az#not sure how much writing ill be able to get done in the next few weeks since im majorly BUSY but ill definitely try 💔#s/hadow and b/one#snz#snzblr#snz kink#snz blog#snzario#sneeze kink#snzfic#sneezefic
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well that was a shortlived good feeling about my job
#maybe i should just become unemployed. maybe i should just suffer!#recap of todays further events .#that supervisor? who i kinda didnt already like but now absolutely hate?#she came down to confirm that i wasnt leaving. okay . and then she fucking tells me#oh we're going to get another person to help out from this other company. we were going to do that bc we thought you were leaving#but she thinks that even if im staying there should be another person on this floor. bc apparently more has to be done#and there are 'constant complaints' abt this floor . which doesnt make sense to me bc there shouldnt be#and so we're waiting to see what the manager decides but hes on fucking vacation and wont get back until. next week??#she said she was gonna email him and like right after she left i emailed and texted him explaining everything#and trying to very nicely say hey what the fuck are you doing you don't need to hire anyone else#and if im doing a bad job fucking tell me so i can do it better. bitch#and she had the nerve to fucking tell me when she was talking to me#that i wont find an easier job than this one#well if its so fucking easy why are we hiring someone else#by the way getting that extra person from this other company doesnt cost them anything which is why theyre doing it i think#which is making me not feel good abt my own future lmao. like why would they keep paying me when they can get someone for free#and she was saying all this stuff like oh you have it so good here we dont write you up i do all this stuff to help you like . ok#i didnt ask you to come downstairs w the coffee order and if you wanted me to i would come up . god#but the thing of me not being able to find a better job like wow! what if i killed you. for saying that to my face#and she talks abt how shes been w the company 20 years ok and that doesnt give you an excuse to treat me like a child. jesus#anyway im very pissed off and not enjoying my work situation lol. i dont wanna do this anymore#but looking at other jobs im so unemployable. sigh
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thank you for deciding one day that you should write holiday really it was the best fandom experience ever 🥺💗💗✨ i mean the waiting for sundays the screaming at you here in your inbox bc i'm just too emotionally invested in these two fucking idiots the shivering with anticipation part of it all regarding the chapters themselves ofc but also all the snippets and spoilers omg 😭🙏💖 and ofc the writing itself??? fucking BRILLIANT loved every single bit of it and also a little embarrassed that certain parts literally had me reacting physically at what was happening in the chapter but uhm. lets not talk about this lmao anywayyyyyyyyys i love you have a great day/week/month/year i love youuuuu 💕💕💕
^ literally me reading this, my friend can confirm bc im having this reaction on the couch right next to them djcmnsmd
#im so sorryyyyyy i fucking suckkk at responding to you guys in a way that does these messages justice bc youre SO FUCKING SWEET AAAAAHHH#i wont lie my winter has been pretty fucking awful both mentally and with my health just kicking the bucket like#this amount of flare ups usually has me going lowkey catatonic for weeks but writing and interacting with you all has been so much fun and#i always looked forward to the weekends like i was sooooo excited to be able to upload the next chapter and and and idkkkk#its just been so much fun it really made me so happy the whole time you guys will live in my heart forever and ever 🫶🏻💖💖💖💖💖#inbox#anonymous
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happy executive dysfunction friday everyone 🥰 remember to sit at your desk in a state of paralysis bc none of your work is intrinsically rewarding enough 🥰
#cat's problems#i cant. i cant write communication profiles today. i need to do literally anything else#im alone in my office so i have no one to motivate me#i havent even been able to get up and pee im stuck here#hostage situation#my frontal lobe vs the world#next week will be better!!!
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i do believe i must make a verdugo for leon once he arrives and is built...
#oh hey im reading uh#i will not clarify (it was smut)#sooo that aside i keep religiously checking the tracking info and dying slowly#i should be able to build leon by next week#also chapter 4 for the doll au? have written something out but im scared of writing chris wrong#so im probs playing 1 tomorrow and brushing up on lore via 6#but... hnghh need to play 8 dont have it... fuck 5 i aint playing it#i have played it but fuck 5 i do not like it made me so mad lol#fuck the licker room
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FANTASTIC NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i finished & posted the ITNL 14 re-edits, WHICH MEANS!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm officially done with my re-edits project!!!!!!!!!! :D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ive been thinking a lot today about my plans for ITNL 15, AND i have tomorrow off, so if all goes well i'll be able to start writing again. TOMORROW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and if the chapter grips me like i expect it will then... hehehehehe
could be an update in as little as a few days, depending. i'll keep u guys updated
#speculation nation#itnl shit#im SO fucking ecstatic man ive been looking forward to this for a month and a half#that took SO much longer than i was expecting it to. but i guess editing 75k words while working full time is kind of a lot#it has been a journey. and it is now complete.#and now i can move on to the NEW THINGS!!!!!!!!! INCLUDING a chapter id been looking forward to for So Long#it's for the best that i went thru the whole fic again. itnl 14 was so hard to write bc i was just Not that mentally there with it#and also uh. The Everything.#i think 15 will be easier. MUCH easier. and im really looking forward to having proper writing motivation again.#AND......... IF ALL GOES WELL.............. i'll hopefully be able to ride that motivation train through the next few chapters#Which Means we could be seeing wolfwood in as little as a few weeks!!! maybe!!!!!!!!#i hope so !!!!!!!!!!! i wanna write him SO fucking bad#and like itnl IS a vw fic. it IS. i SWEAR. it's just mostly been grieving and pining from vash so far lksdjflsdjkfsdlkf#but it will have actual vw. eventually.#im like practically vibrating now but i need to go to sleep. so i can have the brain strength to write tomorrow hehehe#i took a melatonin to hopefully knock myself out soon. i GOTTA get some good rest tonight. for the Writing Brain.#and if i daydream about the start of next chapter.... hehehehe#more power to me then :]
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