#disclaimer : chances of me writing romance are LOW

[dreamysletters]

alright lestappen nation give me prompts i need inspo

[maidragoste]

Hiiii!!!! I (18) was wondering if you could write a Jace x his mothers handmaiden reader, where they have a secret relationship 🤙🏼🤙🏼❤️❤️

anon, sorry for taking so long to write your request. I hope you enjoy it and thanks for reading 🥰💖💖

btw it wasn't clarified so I didn't write reader as a low-born handmaiden (that is, the ones who clean the urinals and that) but as a high-born one.

likes, comments and REBLOGS are always greatly appreciated 🥰💖

Disclaimer: English is not my first language so I apologize for any mistakes.

A frustrated sigh left your lips as you tried to break free from Jacaerys's grip only for the prince to press your body even closer to his so you couldn't get out of bed. You turned to demand that your lover let you go but you remained silent, watching Jace's face. Even though he had his eyes closed you were sure by the lazy smile on his face that he was awake. He looked beautiful. He always looked beautiful but these moments only belonged to you. You wanted to wake up every day next to him but you couldn't. Your duty was to Princess Rhaenyra, you cannot allow yourself to be distracted. Besides, if she found out that you were having a secret relationship with her beloved son, she would throw you out and your family would be very disappointed in you for having wasted the opportunity that the princess gave you to choose you as one of her handmaidens. Not only that but your reputation would be ruined, if rumors spread that you no longer possess your virtue then it would be impossible for you to get a husband. You are a fool to continue with this romance, someday Jace will marry a girl from an even more important house than yours and you will have to sit silently watching everything. There is no happy ending to this.

“My prince, I have to go,” you said, hoping he would stop playing dumb and let you go.

“No,” he complained, lengthening the “o.” Your place is at my side” he moved his face closer to kiss you but you moved, he tried again but you avoided him again “What's wrong” he asked, letting you go so he could sit properly on the bed.

"It's late, I should go. At any moment your mother will wake up, I have duties to do” you responded without looking at him as you got up. You didn't even have a chance to look for your shoes when he tugged on your arm making you return to the bed. He turns you around so that you both face each other.

“What is wrong?” asked again the prince. “Talk to me, please, my lady,” he asked, looking at you with concern while gently taking your face in his hands.

“I think we should stop seeing each other, my prince.” The uncertainty in your voice was clear but still, your words were a dagger for Jacaerys.

“Why?” Your heart ached as you heard the confusion and anguish in his voice. “. I don't understand, yesterday we were fine”

“Yes, we were. But we won't always be. Someday you will have to get married and you will leave me. “I think the easiest thing for my heart is for us to finish our thing now,” you said, closing your eyes without being able to see the sadness in his eyes anymore. If you continued seeing him you were afraid you would go back on your decision.

Your heart skipped a beat when you stopped feeling Jacaerys's hands. You froze as you listened to him get out of bed and get dressed. You should take the opportunity to leave, it's probably what he wanted but you couldn't move. You really had finished everything.

You opened your eyes as you felt the prince's hands in your hair. Your heart raced as he carefully untangled the knots. Once he finished, he kissed your shoulder. “Finish getting ready so we can go talk to my mother.”

“We?” you repeated.

"Yes. I have no intention of marrying anyone but you,” Jacaerys said calmly as if his words wouldn't change your entire world.

“Jacaerys, marrying me is an idiotic move, my house is not that important, and the lords” your chatter was interrupted by the prince's lips capturing yours. You should be firmer and move away, but you can't, so you surrender to enjoying the taste of your lover's lips, feeling more loved than ever.

"I love you and if my mother wants me to be her heir, she will have to accept it," Jace declared and there was no room for argument in his voice. “You are the only wife I intend to take,” he promised before kissing you again.

Taglist for all my House of the Dragon works

@chaotic-fangirl-blog @venus-flytrap3 @ajordan2020 @iloveallmyboys @sweethoneyblossom1 @fudge13 @crystal-faith @tita004 @ichanelvxgue @snowprincesa1 @joyouart @rosey1981 @alastorhazbin @papichulo120627 @apollonshootafar @jasminecosmic99 @partypoison00 @labellapeaky @rebelliuna @bxdbxtxh15 @impartinghades @thegirlnextdoorssister @angeliod @snh96 @aleemendoza2425-blog   @natashaobo @watercolorskyy  @nyenye @savagemickey03 @kishie8 @ewwwitsel @arabis-world @missusnora @nzygftoji @alisoncdariel @cookielovesbook-akie @partnerincrime0 @klara-lily @427120lxld @justhereiguess2 @buckylahey @wa801 @artistadistrada2002 @thelastemzy @justanotherkpopstanlol @yn-jackson

hotd masterlist

[yeetlegay]

Heya! Asking this as someone who has watched the movie Pretty Woman but not for a LONG time, so my memory is fuzzy.

If I recall correctly, there were some bits in various spots that I think wouldn't float today. So if the Pretty Woman movie were remade today, with an updated approach and more contemporary viewpoints on sex work, what do you think might change? How might the story go differently?

Partly I'm asking because I'm curious to see what different choices you make from the film in FLH. 🤔 *curious curious curious*

Ohhhh this is fun, although idk if I’m the person to speak in depth about the “right way” to tell a story about sex work. Most of what I know about the industry is based on either a) academic scholarship or b) conversations with friends who currently are or used to be in sex work. Representation of sex work is complicated and there are contradicting opinions even within the sex worker community about what it should look like.

With that disclaimer aside, the original Pretty Woman movie isn’t perfect by any means. I think its big weakness is with Vivian’s character and how they chose to write/depict her journey and backstory. They lean into this very Christian/evangelical/biblical idea that women become prostitutes because they have a low sense of self-worth or they’re tricked/forced into it. (I say women because the movie ignores the existence of male sex workers entirely, and is so heavy with the gender binary that trans and nonbinary sex workers are even further off its radar.) Obviously sex workers can have low self-worth just like anyone else, and it’s a high-risk profession that a lot of people get manipulated or trafficked into. The problem is that they didn’t have any other sex workers in the movie besides Vivian’s friend Kit, who’s in pretty much the same boat as far as character background and motivations.

(Throwing in a cut here, it’s about to get rambly lol)

So what hasn’t aged well for me is that Vivian’s development relies so much on ideas about sex work that minimize women’s agency and moralize their sexuality. Vivian got to be the main character in the movie, the person people rooted for, because a) she was ashamed of how she made a living and b) her arc centered around self-esteem and wanting to be “saved” from poverty and exploitation, both of which made her a kind of Mary Magdalene figure that was the only archetype of a sex worker that would be palatable/sympathetic to a broad audience’s values and norms.

That perception of her was reinforced by a pretty big age gap, even though it’s not really discussed much in the movie. Julia Roberts and Richard Gere have a 19-year age gap. She was like 22 to his 41 when this movie was made. To be clear, I don’t give a shit about age gaps (I actually love age gap romances when done well, noona romances are my absolute WEAKNESS) and I’m not saying it makes their relationship unhealthy or anything. It’s just something that helps drive home to both them and the audience that Vivian is the young girl who needs a second chance, and Edward is the older man who can help her. He treats her well, but also he has a pretty condescending, paternalistic attitude toward her that exacerbates the power/class divide and infantilizes her a bit for the audience’s sake. Honestly he’s kind of a dick lol. It’s a miracle I like this movie as much as I do given how much I would hate him if I met him in real life. (Also the way he doesn’t CALL THE FUCKING COPS when his friend Stucky tries to force himself on Vivian??? What the actual fuck my guy)

Okay, now that I’ve rambled about all that, to answer the “what would I change” part of the question, I’d actually say Fake Love and Hennessy is pretty much my answer tbh, in the broadest strokes at least. When I first started outlining and writing, I knew what didn’t work for me in the original Pretty Woman and I had a decent grasp of sex work advocacy, so it was just a matter of figuring out what felt true to Porsche’s character and sort of reverse engineering the plot of Pretty Woman to fit that as much as I could. Which was actually ridiculously easy, not because I was some kind of genius lol, but just because Pretty Woman and Kinnporsche have a surprising amount of plot points and narrative elements in common. The outline basically fell in my lap, I’m not even joking.

Intentional choices I made re: representing sex work and character arcs:

Porsche has self-worth issues, just like Vivian, but they’re explicitly tied up in his role as caregiver for his brother and the class/power divide between him and Kinn. He doesn’t feel good enough for either of them, but that’s not why he got into sex work. It’s just a thing that happened, a choice he made, and he’s not ashamed about it, even if he feels the friction of deviating from social norms. It helps that Kinn is a deviant too (sociologically speaking, not talking about morals just that they’re both breaking society’s rules in different ways) so it would be pretty hypocritical for him to look down his nose at sex work, a major part of the underground economy in his world. (In fact, pretty much everyone in Kinn’s network is sex work positive and Porsche being a sex worker is by itself a total non-issue. If you’re afraid someone is gonna slutshame him or demean sex work at some point in the fic, don’t be. I’m not writing it, point blank. Not even the villains get to pull that shit on my watch.)

I’m playing around a bit with the wiggly consent moments from the movie. Kinn isn’t as pushy as Edward is, which is because a) he’s not as steeped in Western patriarchal influence and b) he just plain digs consent. He doesn’t repeatedly try to kiss Porsche after Porsche shows visible discomfort (like Edward did in the piano scene) and even after a couple of days when it’s obvious Porsche would be pretty down for kissing, he doesn’t make a move because Porsche already set his boundaries.

The D/s stuff honestly just sort of happened lol, I didn’t mean to make it such a big part of their relationship, but when I realized it was going there I went back to my outline to puzzle it out. It was really important to me that Porsche’s submissiveness wasn’t somehow conflated with powerlessness, considering the class divide between him and Kinn. I wanted it to be about him feeling empowered to own his pleasure and desire in a way he’d never let himself before, NOT about him lacking agency in his body as a sex worker. Porsche as a character is just so wrapped up in taking care of everyone around him that he’s not very self-aware in a lot of ways, so Kinn’s style of domming—extremely attentive, confidence-boosting, worshipful—throws him for a complete loop. So while the movie wasn’t very kinky, I thought Kinn and Porsche’s sexual power dynamic in the fic would be an added way to give Porsche agency as he starts exploring this new side of himself.

I’m still not trying to represent sex work “accurately” because that’s sort of impossible to do, and also it’s fiction, where a bit of idealization/rose-colored glasses treatment is pretty much a given. So I’m not saying this fic is even remotely realistic or true to the lived experiences of sex workers. That was never really my goal honestly. What I do want, and what I hope I’ve succeeded at, is to tell a story that respects sex workers across the board and doesn’t stigmatize, dehumanize, or otherwise contribute to their marginalization and oppression.

Okay, that’s a SUPER LONG response lol I get wordy very easily. There’s a lot of stuff in later chapters that departs from the movie, which I would’ve loved to talk about, but it’s all massive spoilers 😔

This made me realize how much I’d love to talk about all kinds of “behind the scenes” stuff about the fic when it’s done, because there’s all these little things (Easter eggs from the movie and show, role reversal moments, scene inspo, etc.) that I’ve had so much fun thinking about and working into the fic. Maybe I could do some sort of Q&A or something at the end if anyone’s interested, or just a list of fun facts/cutting room floor stuff.

But thank you for asking, Nemi, you gave me the perfect excuse to rant about the movie lol. 💖💖

[gaybarbiegirl]

My Top 5 Gay Barbie ships

As an avid Barbie fan and a lesbian, I feel like it was only a matter of time until I made this. I think we can all agree that the Barbie movies blessed us with some of the best lesbian relationships gal pals of our childhoods, and I guess this is just my way of paying homage to my favorites. A little disclaimer, this is all just my opinion, so I'm sorry if your favorite ship isn't here.

5. Kristyn and Hailey - Barbie and the Pink Shoes

Starting out with a painfully underrated ship from a painfully underrated movie, we've got Kristyn and Hailey. In my opinion, Barbie and the Pink Shoes is the funniest Barbie movie, and these two are a big part of the reason why. They bounce off of each other really well, they have a great and believable daydreamer/down to earth dynamic, and their relationship is really sweet. I mean, it's hard to watch two people navigating an unknwon world together with no one to count on but each other and not end up shipping them. Plus, the scene where Hailey gets captured by the snow queen and Kristyn runs crying through the frozen road always breaks my heart.

4. Mariposa and Catania - Barbie Mariposa and the fairy princess

I'm gonna be honest, the way the pairings went in the Mariposa franchise actually makes me kinda bitter. And that's because they had these two characters who I think are perfect for each other, but they totally disregard their relationship for the sake of pairing Mariposa with Prince Carlos (who is honestly just a male version of her).

I mean, seriously - Mariposa and Catania have this Romeo and Juliet type of story, being from rival fairy kingdoms and all, and it would definetely have ended in romance if this was a het ship. Catania is the only one who's kind to Mariposa from the start, she bothers to learn about her culture and to make her feel welcome in her kingdom, and she trusts her blindly even when everyone around her tells her she shouldn't. In return, Mariposa listens to Catania about her struggles, and does everything in her power to help her overcome them. They have a lot in common and a lot to teach each other, their relationship development feels very natural, and their bond is what saves the day in the end. But nooo, Barbie has to end up with the prince. Smh.

3. Barbie and Sal-Lee - Barbie Starlight Adventure

These two probably have the most down to earth relationship in this list, ironically. They have no big dramatic bonding moment, no speech about believing in each other, and their love isn't what saves the universe. It's all very simple and low key, and that's kind of what I like about it.

I love how nervous Barbie is to meet Sal-Lee in the beggining, how it takes a little while for them to get used to each other, and how even in the end there's still a bit of healthy competition between them. You can tell both of them weren't what the other one was expecting, but once they get to know each other, they realize they're something even better, and I think that's really great. I also love how Sal-Lee gets all protective of Barbie, always looking out for her in the end. Overall, their relationship is just very wholesome and comforting. 10/10.

2. Merliah and Kylie - Barbie in a Mermaid Tale 2

Rivals to lovers, anyone? Truly one of the best relationship tropes out there, and it was executed beautifully in this movie.

Merliah's and Kylie's flirty rivalry in the beggining is everything, and I like how it's not one sided. Like, Merliah isn't the nice "let's all be friends" girl who's being cornered by mean girl Kylie, they're both mutually competitive, which is pretty unique for a Barbie movie. And, of course, as their relationship develops, all of their scenes are just the cutest and the gayest.

Kylie saying "since when does the queen of the waves give up?" when she's pulling Merliah out of that whirpool? Amazing.

The two of them holding hands while swimming together? Beautiful.

Merliah swooning over everything Kylie says, from her plans to her bad jokes? Lovely.

And the whole ending sequence to that movie lives in my head rent free. Merliah is all upset over being a mermaid forever because, in her own words, this means she can't surf with Kylie anymore. Then she turns human again and gets to compete with her one more time, but with love instead of animosity. And finally, the two of them thank each other for everything they got to learn together and agree to share the 1st place trophy. Incredible. Lesbian excellency. Love it with my whole heart.

1. Liana and Alexa - Barbie and the Diamond Castle

Surprising no one, Alexa and Liana get the 1st place, and for a good reason. To this day, they're the biggest wlw icons from any Barbie movie ever. Everyone has seen the posts talking about how the colours of their dresses are the colours of the lesbian flag and the bi flag, or about how they're the og cottagecore lesbians, or about how there's a scene in the movie where the two of them literally float away from their "love interests" on a rainbow, and they're all 100% right.

But while the sheer amount of gayness these two have is great, I still think this isn't the best part of their relationship. The best part, I think, is just how devoted they are to each other.

Like, we know they regularly write songs about how happy they are together, and both of them consider their relationship to be the best part of their lives. They take care of each other in a way that is so casual but still so meaningful, and you can tell it comes from a place of real love. When they get the chance to make a wish, they don't even have to think before wishing to be together forever. And throughout the movie, we see them risk their lives and rethink their values for the sake of keeping the other one happy and safe.

They're not just my favorite barbie ship, they're one of my favorite ships of all time, and they totally deserve all of the praise they get.

[minisugakoobies]

Sparks | JHS

Pairing: Hoseok x Reader

Genre: romance, fluff, BestFriends!AU

Rating: T

Warnings: a lil' smooching, mutual pining

Word Count: 1.4K

Disclaimers: None other than obviously I don’t own BTS - they simply inspire me

Summary: It's the end of summer. If only Hoseok were by your side.

A/N: Mood inspired by "Sparks" by Coldplay. Unbeta'd. I didn't plan to write another fluffy one-shot, but these things happen. I also didn't plan to create my own header, but I decided what the hell. I have a real passion for graphic design, as you can clearly see (🤡🤡🤡).

Masterlist 💜 Find me on AO3  💜 

You strolled into the night, serenaded by the trilling of crickets as they sang their evening lullaby. The sun had set hours ago, and the air had cooled off enough that it was a pleasant walk. Crossing the street, you headed towards the center of town, where people were gathering to celebrate the anniversary of your hometown’s founding.

In the dark, the park at the heart of your little town was transformed completely. White paper lanterns, strewn from trees and hung from pavilions, bobbed gently in the night breeze, creating the illusion that they were floating in mid-air. The benches under the main pavilion had been pushed to the side to create a makeshift stage for the band, which was currently playing a quick-tempo swing tune. Dancers gathered on the grass in front of the band to show off their best moves, women’s skirts twirling and twisting as their partners pulled them close and dipped them low.

You hadn’t intended on coming to the party alone. You’d been hoping to ask Hoseok if he’d come with you. All summer, you’d been gathering your courage, waiting for the perfect opportunity to ask him to be your date. But each moment that passed just never felt like the right one.

It was silly, honestly – Hoseok was your oldest friend. You’d hung out a million times, all throughout elementary school and then high school, and now you reunited every summer when you both came home from college. It was always the two of you together. Why was it so hard to ask him out as a date instead of as a friend?

(You knew why.)

Yesterday, he’d mentioned that his family was going out of town for the weekend on one last trip to the lake house, and that was that. You’d lost your chance. In just a few days, you’d be heading back to school for your final year. You’d made it to the end of summer without telling Hoseok how you felt. Again.

All your other friends had their own dates for the party, and you didn’t particularly feel like being a third wheel. But you also didn’t want to sit at home on such a beautiful August evening. So, you put on your favorite white cotton dress, the one with the simple floral eyelet pattern, and pinned your hair up. You thought you’d pulled yourself together quite nicely enough to put in an appearance.

As you ambled across the park, you spotted a cluster of booths by the tennis courts, where vendors were hawking delicious treats - caramel apples and salty kettle corn and other sweets whose intoxicating fragrances swirled in the night air. You queued in a line for icy cold lemonade, deciding at the last minute on the raspberry flavor. Standing off to the side of the main pavilion, under a large oak tree, you sipped at the tart concoction as you surveyed the crowd.

Children ran to and fro, darting in between the dancers, chasing the fireflies that blinked around the park like tiny Christmas lights come unbound from their wires. One firefly flashed near your left elbow. Deftly, you swept your hand out and caught it. Bringing it close to your face, you peeked into your cupped hand. The gaps between your fingers pulsed with a faint light, and you laughed joyfully, remembering how much you’d always loved catching fireflies as a child.

After enjoying the glow for another minute, you released the bug, watching it flicker as it flew away. Lowering your hand, your eyes focused on the crowd in front of you, and that’s when you saw him. Hoseok. He stood on the other side of the grassy square, scanning the crowd.

His blonde hair was parted for once, instead of hanging messily in his eyes. He wore a light white linen button-down shirt and a simple pair of slacks, with his black Chucks peeking out from underneath the hem of his pant legs. Effortlessly handsome, as always. He locked eyes with you, and a broad smile lit up his face.

He started to move toward you. You quickly finished your lemonade and tossed the empty cup into a bin. Your fingers flew to your hair, checking that no strands had come loose. The swing song ended and the couples on the lawn parted, applauding politely.

Another few steps and suddenly he was there. You smiled and he smiled back, his dark eyes crinkling slightly at the corners.

"Hi,” he said, his voice husky.

“Hi,” you echoed, shifting your weight from one foot to another. “I didn’t know you were coming tonight.” You peered up at him, still smiling. “I thought your family was going to be at the lake house all weekend?”

“Yeah, they are,” he grinned. “But without me. I didn’t go.” “Oh,” you replied. “You didn’t go? But… why?” Hoseok would live at the lake house if his parents would allow it.

“So I could be here,” he answered matter-of-factly, gesturing around him.

You blinked in confusion, wondering why he hadn't told you he wasn't going with his family, as he glanced at the lanterns dancing overhead. “I can’t believe how nice the park looks tonight.” He turned back to you, and your breath caught in your throat.

He was gazing at you like you’d hung the moon.

“And you… you look lovely tonight.” He shuffled slightly as he spoke, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. In the dim light, you saw a blush begin to crawl across his cheeks.

You felt yourself warming at his words. “Th-thanks, Hobi. You look very nice, too. Almost respectable, even,” you teased, delighting as his blush deepened. You didn’t know if it was the sugar from your drink, but you suddenly felt giddy and lightheaded.

Just then, the band began to play again. The guitarist stepped forward, his fingers nimbly strumming a gentle waltz. On the grassy dance floor, couples drifted together as though pulled by invisible strings.

Hoseok stepped closer to you as the music crescendoed. Reaching out with his left hand, he bowed slightly and grabbed your right. “Dance with me,” he said, not quite a question, but not a command, either. It was simply a fact that he stated. A given.

Of course you would dance with him.

He drew you to him, his left hand raising your right as his other arm snaked around your waist. You draped your arm around his shoulder, and together, you slowly stepped out onto the lawn.

Hoseok smiled down at you as you swayed. His right thumb stroked the small of your back lightly as he turned you about the dance floor. Overwhelmed by the nearness of him, you dropped your head to his shoulder, hoping he couldn’t feel how your pulse quickened under his touch.

The two of you stayed this way, silently moving together to the beat of the band, for a minute before you found your voice again.

“So,” you said, tilting your head a little so your words wouldn’t be muffled by his shirt, “you skipped the lake to be here tonight? I didn’t know you cared about this town’s history so much.”

He chuckled softly. “I’m not here for the celebration. I’m here for you.”

You lifted your head in surprise. “For me?”

He nodded, biting his lip, suddenly seeming unsure. “I… I’ve been trying to tell you all summer, how I feel about you. About us.” He glanced away, eyes roaming the crowded dance floor as he considered his words. “But I kept letting my chances slip through my fingers. When I woke up this morning, I decided I wasn’t going to let another one pass by.” He turned back to you, a serious expression on his face. “I went to your house earlier, hoping to talk to you. When you weren’t there, I knew I’d find you here. I just… I just hope I’m not too late.”

“Hobi,” you murmured, voice gentle, as if you could to soothe his worries with his name alone.

“Tell me, please,” he whispered, his eyes searching your face, “did I miss my chance?”

Your heart seemed to swell in time with the music as you stared up at him and wordlessly shook your head, tongue too tied to speak. Hoseok beamed, his radiant smile shining brighter than the sun, and pulled you closer while the band struck up another slow love song.

You weaved around the other couples on the lawn as fireflies floated above you, dancing their own minuets through the night sky. And as Hoseok’s face dipped towards you, and your eyes closed as his lips met yours, you could still see the sparks.

© 2021-22-23 by sunshinerainbowsbts/minisugakoobies. Crossposted to AO3. Please do not copy or repost.

[magnus-the-maqnificent]

Let's Analyze - Alec in CoFA

So, I’ve been seeing plenty of discourse on two of my mutual’s blogs about this topic… so I thought I’d sit down and write another analysis post about my beloved Alec Lightwood cause people are still giving him shit for a book that came out ten years ago 🤦‍♀️

This is gonna be in two parts, and I'm putting both under the cut:

PART 1 - ALEC’S INSECURITIES 

So, the first part - how Alec’s insecurities drove him to saying stupid things in CoFA

A quick disclaimer - I’m NOT blaming Alec alone for his and Magnus’s break up. What happened was pretty complicated, and the blame cannot be put on one person alone. 

That said, let’s start with Magnus and Alec’s early ‘official’ relationship, in trsom.

These scenes are taken from only the first part of the book, but I’m pretty sure they’re more than enough to get a sense of Alec’s insecurities and all the chinks in their relationship. Throughout the entirety of trsom, we see more bits and pieces of Alec’s insecurities about Magnus’s sexuality, and his past and all the people he might have known - and that’s okay! Insecurities happen, cause brains are stupid like that.

But all of Alec’s insecurities could’ve been laid to rest with a simple conversation. But the conversation never happens. Magnus tends to deflect and change the topic every single time his past is brought up. I understand Magnus’s reasons for hiding his past, of course, but it doesn’t help his relationship with Alec. Magnus hiding a good chunk of his past will inevitably lead to Alec questioning himself - why is he so secretive? Why is he not telling me anything? Does he not trust me? ...and so on.

And when Alec is already feeling insecure in this relationship, this happens - (sorry about the terrible cropping btw)

And then later, while Magnus is talking to Camille,

Now… when people are insecure about something, they get irked at the smallest of things. I’m saying this as an insecure person myself. So now, you've got Alec, who's insecure as fuck, and his vacation with the person he loves got cut short by his ex who refuses to talk to anyone but him, and when they get there, his lover and his lover's ex seem to have obvious chemistry, he gets hit with the reality that his lover has dated several, probably even hundreds of people before him; and he has to leave them alone in a room so they can talk, and then he hears the ex basically just list all his shortcomings - i.e, his mortality, his appearance is compared to some random dead guy (sorry, Will) whom your lover had a crush on, which is just weird, and when you've had enough and open the door, it's to see your lover and his ex, standing close as fuck, and he's! touching! her! face! and! looking! into! her! eyes!

*takes a sip of water* yeahhhh... Alec was straight up having a bad day.

And at this point, a) Alec is still in his first relationship. He didn't get to navigate romance when he was younger, and while there's nothing wrong with that, there weren't exactly cutesy presentations titled 'how to keep your relationships healthy' floating around the internet. Heck, he didn’t know the internet. He didn't know that he had to communicate with Magnus, and it doesn't help that boy avoids conversations about feelings like the plague. And b) at this point, Alec would be facing several negative emotions - insecurity, obviously. Hurt. Helplessness, because of his mortality. Fear, that he might not live up to Magnus’s past lovers. Jealousy at seeing Magnus and Camille so close.

Negative emotions like these often tend to show up as anger or sorrow... and in Alec’s case, that would be anger. Which leads us to THIS- (🙈)

*sighs in second-hand embarrassment*

*drinks more water*

*this is gonna be so hard aksjakak*

So. Alec dealt with his insecurities... by being a mean, mean bitch to Magnus :/

Let's break this scene down, slowly, bit by bit.

First, Alec cuts into a conversation between Magnus and Jordan, when Magnus mentions Woolsey Scott, followed the rest of that particular page. To Alec, he's just a figure from Magnus’s past, and a possible lover, though in Alec’s defense Woolsey Scott WAS Magnus’s lover. This is the first instance that we see in which Alec lashes out at Magnus. It seems like he's trying to make a point to Magnus - "I don't know anything about your past, and so I don't know who you've had romances with, but I want to know." Except he makes his point in the worst way possible and ends up slutshaming Magnus.

The "What's true?" line, in response to Jordan saying "so it's true what they say about warlocks, then?" is pretty obvious. Alec is clearly not liking the idea that this random werewolf might know about warlocks, and in particular, his Warlock boyfriend.

Next... ooh boy... Alec basically snaps and in the next few paragraphs accuses Magnus of wanting to flirt with others which... is not a good look on ya honey 😕. These lines are the ones that get him accused of being biphobic... but is he really? I'm gonna talk about that in part 2.

So, in the first paragraph, where Alec makes the comments about Jordan, I find his choice of words pretty... interesting, seeing as 'messy-haired', 'broad-shouldered' and 'chiseled-good-looks' are all used to describe Alec in the series. Not sure if its relevant, but definitely interesting.

And in the next one, where Alec says, "or there are plenty of pretty girls here, since apparently your taste goes both ways. Is there anything you aren't into?" The 'apparently' makes me curious. In rsom, Alec mentions that he's only recently heard of the term bisexual, and there's plenty of time between rsom and cofa, so Alec should be absolutely sure of atleast the basic meaning of bisexuality. But I'm pretty sure it's just inconsistency on cc's part, since if rsom didn't exist, this book would be the first time Alec learns about Magnus’s bisexuality. (Which is obvious when you look at the scene after Magnus reveals that Camille is his girlfriend.) And as for the second sentence, I feel like it's a fallback to earlier in the book when Magnus says (I'm just gonna write the dialogue from memory), "I've dated men, women, warlocks, faeries, vampires, werewolves and even a djinn or two." Here, Alec is angry, and he takes the knowledge that Magnus has dated a variety of people and once again, lashes out.

Looking at all of it together, Alec’s insecurities are definitely a factor in all of this. We know Alec has pretty low self esteem in tmi, and he keeps having irrational thoughts about someone else grabbing Magnus’s attention, like in the trsom scene I've posted above. And he ends up taking out his insecurities on Magnus.

Was it wrong of Alec to say all those things to Magnus? Yes, absolutely. But looking back through all his scenes in cofa, it's easy to see how he could've fallen into the pit trap of emotions.

And before anyone says "but it wasn't addressed in the later books", it was, in CoLS. I’ve hit the image limit, so I'm just gonna type it out -

"[Magnus] said it would be better if he didn’t come. Apparently him and the Seelie Queen have some kind of history."

Isabelle raised her eyebrows.

"Not that kind of history," Alec said irritably. "Some kind of feud. Though," he added, half under his breath, "the way he got around before me, I wouldn't be surprised."

"Alec!" Isabelle dropped back to talk to her brother....

So, there. Alec makes yet another slutshaming comment, Isabelle overhears and is clearly not happy about it, and it's clearly implied that she talks to Alec about it. And Alec doesn't make any more slutshaming comments since then. Boy now knows what he did was wrong, and makes sure not to repeat it again.

Although, I do wish we had more than this. I wish we had more of Magnus and Alec talking about this argument, heck, even about all their arguments and the reasons they broke up, but you can't get everything you want, apparently :(

And now onto the next part...

PART 2 - IS ALEC BIPHOBIC?

The short answer, uh, no, not really.

The long answer.... would be complicated.

So, back in the day, when this discourse was at an all time high, I remember reading a bisexual person's essay about this topic, and they said that this comment from Alec - "or there are plenty of pretty girls here, since apparently your taste goes both ways. Is there anything you aren't into?" - would be a biphobic microagression.

According to Google, a microagression is "a statement, action, or incident regarded as an instance of indirect, subtle, or unintentional discrimination against members of a marginalized group such as a racial or ethnic minority".

And in Alec's case, IF his words were biphobic, they were completely unintentional. They were microagressive. Which is... still bad, of course, but it's more complicated than that.

If you look back on Alec's supposedly biphobic statements, they're more about Magnus’s hypersexuality and promiscuity than anything else. Yes, even the line i mentioned like two paragraphs ago. At first glance it may seem like a direct attack on Magnus’s sexuality, but think over the explanation I gave for the line and it will make sense. And a lot of people know that the whole 'bi people fuck around a lot and are cheaters' thing is a stereotype.

Now, it may seem like I'm going off topic here, but bear with me. I couple of days ago, I watched this video by chance. (Tw for the aids crisis and lots of biphobia, not from the narrator, if you wanna watch the video). Basically, back in the 1980s, bisexual men were scapegoated for spreading aids to the straight community and were vilified by popular media as being promiscuous scepters who would cheat on their wives with gay men and then give aids to their wives. (Yikes 😬). And since bisexuality was practically unheard of before all this (several bisexual activists have stated that all this shit, though unfortunate, pulled bisexuality out of the closet), it's safe to assume that this is how those stereotypes came to be - through 1980s propaganda.

But living with this propaganda is... a very limiting experience. The people who leaned and unlearned and fought against this propaganda are mostly US Americans who grew up with it, either the actual propaganda itself or passed down by their parents. But like I said, it's a very limiting experience. US is but one country out of many, and even for those living in the USA there's a chance that they grew up in a very hush-hush environment. People who grew up hearing all these stereotypes will see it as biphobia, while people who didn't - like Alec, and me, and several other people will not. A lot of people grow up with absolutely no knowledge of the queer community, and chances are that they'll be incredibly confused when a stereotype is pointed out to them, and they often get no more explanation than 'this is a harmful stereotype'. Queer experiences aren't the same for everyone, and while I respect the people who see this as biphobia, they should recognize that there are many people who won't see it that way.

I have seen bisexual people say that Alec's words were biphobic, and I've also seen bisexual people say that they weren't. Thus, there is no clear consensus about whether or not Alec was being biphobic. And like I said earlier, Alec grew up far, far away from mundane anti-queer bigotry. He was essentially a clean slate when it came to knowledge of eer microagressions of any kind, because microagressions and stereotypes are often incredibly specific, don't have anything to do with a person's race/sexuality/gender, etc. and will make zero sense unless you know the history behind them. To Magnus, who lived through the anti-bisexual scapegoating, the words would've definitely stung, but Alec didn't even know the implications he would be making with this words! Of course, the impact is greater than intention, and I imagine Magnus would sit Alec down one day and talk about all this history with him.

And idk if I can even blame cc cause the history of bisexual men is RARELY ever talked about, atleast on the internet.

Also, this scene in cofa is the only instance where he can be interpreted to be biphobic. Nowhere else in all of tmi, and even tec, do we see Alec express hatred or disgust or microagression towards bisexual people. If this was seen in a repeating pattern from Alec, one could argue that he's biphobic... but he isn't. Some might point to some of his internal thoughts in trsom to argue otherwise, but I believe that actions are superior than thoughts.

There's also the thing about unlearning prejudices, but in Alec's case there was hardly anything to be unlearned. The only prejudices he did pick up on were against himself, through vague homophobic comments from Robert.

P.S if you've read this far, I am legally entitled to compensation for thinking of cofa Alec for 48 hours. Put your favorite Alec moments in my askbox cause I wanna focus on his good side now. 😎

But yeah, the main thing here is that Alec has grown from his mistakes, apologized, and hasn't repeated this behavior at all.

And lastly, I just wanted to add - I don't think all this was unintentional on the author's part. She's grown up with the us American queer community, and has mentioned that she has bisexual friends, who have no doubt faced prejudices because of these stereotypes. I think she was trying to condemn making such statements, but a lot of people don't read between the lines and end up misinterpreting it and make both the character and her to be biphobic.

So... TLDR; was what Alec said biphobic? Maybe. It depends on who you're talking to. Is Alec, as a person, biphobic? Nope. Not at all. 😌

[omgrachwrites]

Our Souls Crave This Magic- Chapter One

Pairing: Prince Caspian x Reader

Summary: All you want is a quiet year of university as you and your best friend, Edmund move to New York City. Though, that all changes when you meet the spoiled trust fund brat, Caspian. College au.

Warnings: fluff, slow burn romance, swearing

Words: 2619

Disclaimer: Everyone in this fic is 18+ and this gif doesn’t belong to me!

A/N: Here we are, first part of my college au! It was a little weird to be writing a Narnia college au, I’d never thought of writing one before! Hope you guys enjoy this and please let me know what you think and let me know if you would like to be tagged! I love you all! xxx

next part   masterlist

Chapter One - Once Upon a Time in New York City

The air in New York was hot and muggy, even with the roof of your rental car being down there wasn’t much of a breeze and you were beginning to feel irritable and the smog in the air was heavy. The traffic over here was slow, somehow even slower than it was in London but you knew that it was a small price to pay for your freedom.

When your best friend, Edmund received a chance to study overseas in New York for his final year of college he took the chance straight away and he had pretty much begged you to go with him. You had never known Edmund to beg for anything so you knew that this was serious. You didn’t want to lose your best friend so you agreed to go with him, as did his little sister, Lucy but you didn’t mind, it was her first year at college.

From the back seat you could hear Lucy gasping in awe as she glanced up at the impossibly tall skyscrapers that were beginning to make you feel a little sick, “I love this city already, thanks for letting me come with you guys!”

Ed grimaced as he leaned forwards to turn your rock music down which earned him a scathing glare, “it’s not like we had much of a choice,” he muttered.

You rolled your eyes at Ed before smiling at Lucy in the mirror, “ignore him, Lu. I’m glad that you’re here.”

“Thanks Y/N,” she grinned at you before pulling a tongue at her brother, “I can’t wait to see the loft,” she sighed happily.

Neither of you wanted to stay in some shitty dorm room on campus so ever since you were accepted into NYU, you had begun saving money from your bar job and your student loan. Between the three of you the most you could afford was a loft apartment in Brooklyn. You spotted the moving van a couple of doors down from the loft and got ready to turn into a parking space on the busy street.

As you were reversing into the space, a yellow taxi blared its horn at you as it zoomed past you, “yeah, very nice, arsehole!” you yelled out of the window, knowing the driver couldn’t hear you but it made you feel better all the same.

Edmund rolled his eyes as he fixed you with an unamused look as he ran his fingers through his hair, “I’m beginning to regret asking you to come with me.”

You laughed, winking at him as you got out of the car, “you know that you love me.”

Ed laughed before he bit his lip, looking at you nervously, “you should call your mum, and tell her that you made it here in one piece. I know that you’ve been putting it off Y/N,” he sighed and pulled you into a one armed hug, “you can catch up with us in a bit.”

You sighed as you watched Ed and Lucy walk towards the moving van, he was right – most of the time he was right – you had been putting it off, and for good reason. You dialled your mum’s number as you lit up a cigarette and took a long drag of it. Just as you suspected, you were met with your mum’s voicemail. She was probably out, spending time with her new family, she was almost too happy when you told her that you were moving to New York.

“Hey mum, I’m just calling to let you know that I made it to New York, safe and sound. I didn’t want to call but Ed thought that I should, anyway call me back if you get this. Or don’t, it really doesn’t matter to me either way.”

The lie tasted bitter in your mouth but you didn’t want to dwell on it any longer so you quickly hung up the phone. You rubbed your temples as you took another drag off your cigarette, blowing out a large billow of smoke.

“Do you mind?” you heard a cough with the sound of a smooth honeyed accent. Your gaze started at his feet and you quirked an eyebrow when you saw that he was wearing expensive leather shoes. You travelled up his body with your eyes and they finally came to land on his face.

He had deep brown eyes that were almost black and he was very handsome with thick dark hair and clean stubble along his jaw, he looked just like the brooding hero in all those romance novels. You didn’t want to judge but he looked exactly like a trust fund baby, someone who got whatever they wanted on a silver platter. He coughed again as you blew out more smoke and he ran a hand through his hair, narrowing those gorgeous eyes at you.

“You can clearly see that I’m smoking here, it’s your fault for getting in my way, pretty boy,” you didn’t miss the scowl he shot you as you crushed the stub of your cigarette beneath your shoe as you turned away. You couldn’t let a stranger piss you off, no matter how good looking he was.

As you walked into the loft you were immediately taken aback by how spacious and beautiful it was, it seemed like good value for your money which was extremely rare in a big city. You decided that you were going to take the smallest room – you wanted Ed and Lucy to have the most luxurious rooms – but it seemed that you definitely got the room with the best view. New York was such a beautiful city and you were so glad that you got to live here.

As you were coming out of the room that you had claimed as your own, you noticed that the handsome stranger was in your apartment. Suspicion ran through your body as you narrowed your eyes at him, “what the fuck are you doing here?”

He opened his mouth to reply but before he could, Edmund came striding into the apartment, carrying a cardboard box, “Y/N, this is Caspian; he’s offered to help us move in.”

“How nice,” you smiled tightly, Caspian was a trust fund name, you were sure of that.

Caspian raised an eyebrow and he smirked at you, and you ignored the way that his deep brown eyes sparkled. You just wanted a quiet final year of college; you wouldn’t let a handsome young man ruin it. You had worked too hard to be here.

When Caspian walked out of the loft with Ed, Lucy smirked at you, “Caspian’s cute isn’t he?”

You laughed as you unpacked the kitchen boxes, “suppose so, for a trust fund baby.”

“What makes you think that’s he’s got a trust fund?” Lucy asked as she leaned against the kitchen counter.

“Come on Lu, his shoes cost more than our rent, it’s obvious that he’s rolling in money, and with a name like Caspian,” you let out a low whistle, “the evidence speaks for itself.”

Finally, you were all moved in – and Caspian had thankfully left, turning down Edmund’s offer to stay for a drink – it was early evening and your breath was stolen away by how pretty the sky looked. It was all pink and orange hues, and you were almost certain that you’d enjoy living here. New York seemed like such a romantic city – despite the smog – every story that was worth reading began in New York City.

Edmund grinned at you and flung an arm around your shoulders, “are you hungry? We were thinking about ordering pizza.”

You shook your head, although the notion of pizza sounded amazing, “no can do I’m afraid, I gonna go out and actually look for a job. How else are we going to be able to pay the rent?” you smiled.

Lucy raised her eyebrow at you, “Y/N, we’ve literally been here for a few hours and already you’re thinking about getting a job?”

You nodded at her as you kissed Edmund’s cheek, “you guys know how much I worry,” you laughed as you shrugged on your leather jacket, “I’ll see you guys later, and make sure to save some pizza for me.”

“I can’t make any promises,” Ed called after you, making you laugh.

You forgot just how hard it was to get a bartending job as you walked down the streets of New York, it had grown cool now and you wrapped your jacket tighter around your body. Finally, you came up outside a bar called; Aslan’s which had a golden lion on a field of red on the sign. Even from the outside it looked like a dive bar but you supposed that beggars couldn’t be choosers.

The bar stank of stale beer and cigarette smoke, and the floor was incredibly sticky. There was a pool table in the middle of the room and a juke box in one corner, playing loud music. The bar was a complete dive to be sure but you could also tell that it held a lot of character. You smiled at the sandy haired bartender; “I was wondering whether I could speak to the manager?” the bartender nodded and smiled at you as he walked into the back.

A couple of moments later, the bartender returned with an older man, the older man grinned at you as he offered you his hand, his eyes twinkling kindly, “I’m Aslan, the owner,” his voice had an Irish twang to it and you offered him a small smile. You were kind of surprised that he was the owner, he looked like a complete dad, and you had expected someone with tattoos and piercings, not a man in a cable jumper with his hand wrapped around a Spiderman mug.

“I’m Y/N; I was wondering whether I could give you my resume?”

“Certainly,” he smiled and you handed it over and his eyes scanned it before he glanced at you with a raised eyebrow, “are you a university student?” he smiled when you nodded, “have you done bar work before?”

“Yes sir,” you nodded, “I worked in a busy bar in the centre of London for a couple of years,” his eyes widened slightly and you could tell that he was impressed.

“Come in for a trial shift on Saturday so I can see what you’re made of.”

You breathed out a sigh of relief, this was better than you could have hoped for, “I’d be glad to, thank you so much, Aslan.”

----------------------------------

Caspian knew that pre law would be difficult but he just had no idea, after only a couple of days he was exhausted. It seemed strange but he was happy, no matter how exhausted he was. He had a deal with his parents where they agreed that he could go to a school of his choice where nobody knew him. He didn’t want people to treat him any differently.

Edmund – one of his first friends from class – grinned as he clapped Caspian on the shoulder as they made their way across campus, “that Professors kind of a hard arse, huh?” he chuckled, mirth lighting up his freckled face.

Caspian smiled in response as he ran a hand through his hair, “I think that’s the lawyer that we should all strive to be.”

Ed chuckled as he looked across the quad and pointed, “oh, hey there’s Y/N. You remember her?”

Caspian glanced up and saw the pretty girl in a Sex Pistols shirt and ripped jeans with red converse. She carried an easel over her shoulder, she didn’t strike Caspian as the artistic type, “how could I forget?”

Edmund smiled as he pulled his friend into a hug, “hey, Y/N, you remember, Caspian?”

Y/N smirked as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and she looked Caspian up and down in a way that made him feel small. He flushed and looked away from her burning gaze, “of course I remember, Cas.”

“Caspian,” he spoke through gritted teeth as he felt a wave of annoyance wash over him as she smirked.

If Ed sensed the tension he didn’t say anything, instead he flung an arm over her shoulders, “are you coming to the party tonight?”

Y/N grimaced as she shook her head as she placed a cigarette between her red painted lips, “Aslan needs me to work a shift tonight, clearly I got through the trial period successfully,” she laughed.

Caspian raised his eyebrow at her in surprise, “you work at Aslan’s?” he chuckled, “isn’t it a shit hole?” he had never gone in and he had no intention of doing so.

Y/N glared at him, if looks could kill, he’d already be six feet under, “it’s got character, I wouldn’t expect someone,” she trailed off as she looked him up and down, a scowl on her face, “like you to understand.”

Her insinuation made his blood boil, he was starting to like her less and less by the second, “what the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Y/N opened her mouth to answer, most definitely with a scathing retort on her lips but Ed cut her to the chase, “I’m gonna go get a pretzel, does anyone want one?” he walked off before either of them could reply.

The tension was unbearable in the hot and heavy air, Caspian scowled at Y/N while she looked up at him as she took another drag of her cigarette, she looked completely unbothered. In fact, Caspian thought he saw amusement glitter in her eyes. Caspian coughed as the billow of smoke she blew out went right in his face. Normally he wouldn’t have cared but there was just something about Y/N that made him want to piss her off.

“Do you really have to do that here?” he grimaced.

Y/N smirked around the end of her cigarette but Caspian noticed that she turned to the side slightly so the smoke went in the opposite direction and he opened his mouth to thank her, stopping short when she replied, “last time I checked, this was a free country, Cas.”

Caspian clenched his jaw so tightly that he was afraid that he’d break his teeth but he didn’t bother correcting Y/N on his name. He wanted to ask her why she had it out for him, it had seemed that way ever since they met. Instead, what came out of her mouth was a stupid observation.

“I didn’t peg you for the artistic type,” he swallowed as she paused and looked up at him, the glimmer of a scowl on her face, “I had you down for a Psychology major or something, maybe that would explain why you’re manipulative,” his words were harsh but she didn’t even flinch as she crushed the stub of her cigarette beneath her shoe.

She looked away from him, wrapping her arms around herself, even though the day was warm. A flicker of emotion that he hadn’t seen before flickered across her face, “I used to paint with my dad, from a young age,” she looked back at him, that smirk was back on her face, “pre law, huh? That’s exactly the sort of major I’d expect from a trust fund baby.”

He let out a laugh and noticed that Ed was finally on his way back, pretzel in hand, “what makes you think that I’m a trust fund baby?” he asked, biting his lip.

Y/N raised an eyebrow, “oh sweetheart, with expensive clothes like that,” she gestured down at his outfit, making him scowl, “and such a pretty face, how could you not be?” she turned around to take a bit out of Edmund’s pretzel, laughing when Ed shouted out in dismay.

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@smiithys​ @elayneblack​ @amelie-black​ @generalblizzarddreamer​ @blackbirddaredevil23​ @whiskeywinter89​

[wh6res]

taeil — part of the my bloody valentine collection.

prompt. soulmates are connected by a red string.

synopsis. taeil thinks the whole system is bullshit. he needs to take matters into his own hands.

warnings. tread cautiously. swearing, mentions of death, blood, mentions of kidnapping, violence, turning a 'lil dubcon near the end, severe stockholm syndrome, manipulation 

disclaimer. a friendly reminder that i do not, under any circumstance, condone or support any acts like this. this is not love and this is not how a normal relationship should be like. the things i write are all fiction and should be treated as such and if you don’t like it, please do not read it and waste your time hating on it. the 9 members of nct 127 do not act like this in real life and shouldn’t act like this in real life. 

thank you to. sexeh sam @yukwonghei, cutie charlie @dundun-baby, and baby rina @greenish-taro for beta-reading!

since he was a kid, he’s fantasized about meeting his soulmate. creating scenario after scenario of how he’d meet ‘the one’ as he had cheesily addressed and had absolutely freaked when he finally saw the red string tied around his right wrist on his 20th birthday—courtesy of the soulmate rules of the universe, where one will finally be able to see the string tied around their body once they’ve come of age. 

for years before he met that other soul who’s destined to be with him, taeil would stare at the red thread lying across the floor, disappearing under the gap of his door and out to the world unknown. he’d be so distracted, so aloof and in his own world as he anticipates the long-awaited day until his professor calls him out—“moon! do yourself a favor and stop daydreaming!”

until his friends snap him out of it—“thinking of them again? really?”

until his parents shake him out of his thoughts—“don’t worry, i bet they’ll love you!”

sometimes he just loved staring at the string, it was something so measly as a bunch of threads intricately woven together yet it held such a symbol in today’s world. call him lovesick or stupid but was it really wrong to feel excited? taeil’s even betting the person on the other side of this string is just as excited as he was, if not more. 

in the man’s eyes, the strings are a symbol of something more than love—it symbolized the person the universe has created especially for him and no one else. 

taeil can’t even imagine a world without these strings. how difficult it would be, to love and invest in someone who will only end up breaking your heart? no, the strings also meant reassurance. 

assurance that he won’t get hurt. 

an assurance of faithfulness. 

he had only been a wide-eyed fresh grad looking for some place to intern when it happened. like a scene right out of a cheesy romance movie—he felt the persistent tugs of the string before finally meeting his soulmate. well, using the word meet to describe the whole ordeal is a huge stretch because it was more of a holy shit, is that my soulmate? rather than a hi, i'm your soulmate, taeil!

he merely saw the back of her poised figure but taeil’s heart felt like it wanted to explode, his emotions a mess and feeling everything to the extremes. nervous. scared. anxiety. happiness. excitement—it was all coming at him like bullets. 

as taeil stared at her back, walking away, johnny kept shoving him forward, encouraging him to finally approach the person he’s been waiting for ever since that soulmate string appeared around his pinky. 

but he couldn’t—not because he was so anxious he’d accidentally vomit the 4-cheese whopper he had for lunch but due to the line of people trailing behind his soulmate like a bunch of baby ducks to their mom. the thought of coming up to his soulmate and introducing himself in front of all those people?

romantic, maybe, but taeil doesn’t have the stomach to do that. 

he remembers how much johnny had wolf whistled, unbelieving of the fact his friend managed to snag the possible heir to the company they’re attending an interview in as his soulmate. 

“lucky little asshole,” johnny muttered. 

taeil had been experiencing the post-effects of seeing his soulmate that he just weakly punched johnny’s arm for the heck of it. he probably didn’t even hear the name his younger friend had called him. taeil’s mind is clouding over, no thoughts in his head but the white polo shirt she wore, sleeves neatly rolled up, and the black pencil skirt hugging her legs and making her ass look so plump. 

focus. he needs to focus on the interview right now or else he won’t even have the chance to work here and officially meet her. everything the interviewer asked passed through his head like paper planes in a classroom, shamelessly asking the woman sitting before him to repeat the question, too busy reveling about how their soulmate story would be the cliché office-love. not that taeil minds, he’d love going to work together—

two weeks later, johnny receives an email of acceptance. taeil doesn’t.

the man nearly threw his laptop away out of sheer disbelief and anger. okay, sure, maybe he could’ve done better in the interview but he graduated with latin honors in college! and from a prestigious college at that. he shouldn’t even be applying as a mere intern with the skill set he had yet he went with it because he’d always dreamed of working there. 

and now knowing his soulmate is possibly someone who holds a high position in the company? everything just kept getting better and better for moon taeil. 

except for that fucking email—pft, or lack thereof. how can they not accept him when he’s more capable than johnny, anyway? for fuck’s sake! taeil doesn’t even ask that guy for rent and he’s so thick-skinned that he stayed up to this day and freeloaded off taeil’s food and shelter. 

the absolute unfairness of the situation makes taeil’s blood reach a fever point. he’s completely lossed it, leading him to spit “get the fuck out!” to the other male occupant in the apartment with eyes glaring and lips pulled into a nasty sneer. 

johnny’s never seen taeil this upset before and decided that he’d be better off abiding by the older man’s wishes instead of contradicting it. 

no. no. no. this can’t be happening. if taeil doesn’t work there, with her, all his sweet fantasies won’t come true and god forbid she ends up falling for another person in the company. 

anyone would be naturally drawn to taeil’s soulmate. in his eyes, she’s a goddess in the flesh. taeil doesn’t even need to see her face, from the few seconds he saw a glimpse of her, her presence and allure in itself is already eye-catching. the way her low ponytail swished from side to side as she walked, her back straight and head held high. 

taeil needs to see her again. maybe if she finds out he’s her soulmate she’ll put a good word in and he’ll get hired. 

yeah. yeah, that’s a good plan. 

“please get out of my office or i’ll call security.”

or not.

“no, wait. but i just said i’m your soulmate!” to further prove his point, he even raises up his pinky and sure enough the other end of the string is tied around hers. the incessant pull is there and if not for her sharp cold eyes anchoring him to the ground, taeil would’ve long been soaring high in cloud nine. 

“and i said i don’t care,” she snaps just as her fingers sneakily pressed a button in her phone. “i have a fiancé. the whole soulmate bullshit doesn’t apply to rich people. so for the fucking last time, get out of my office.”

“but—”

the double doors of the vice president’s office bounces off the walls when two burly guards barge in. dressed in a white long sleeves and those heavy tinted shades of glasses that taeil hates. the two men waste no time in hooking their arms underneath the smaller, frail man as he thrashes against their arms. 

“how can you not care about your soulmate?!” taeil can feel the beginning licks of the flames eating up his whole world as everything comes crashing down before his very eyes. “i’ve been—i’ve been waiting my whole life for you and this is how you treat me?!” 

he doesn’t know what hurts more, the scratch in his throat as he screamed with all his might or the stoic look written on her face as the guards haul him away. 

when johnny heard the news he’d never felt so sorry for his friend. rumors that initially circulated only between the executive board members had spread and trickled down to the common folk on the lower levels. johnny making it a mission to find out, had extracted himself from his usual cheery and extroverted self to blend in with the background. taeil has yet to talk to him after he got kicked out, so asking his friend—or ex-friend?—about what happened is out of the question. 

but like any other breed of rumor, the tale of their vice president’s soulmate barging in her office is ever changing through each mouth that tells the story. johnny doesn't know what to believe in. he’s been trying to put off a meeting with the older man ever since he started crashing in taeyong’s apartment instead. not that taeil himself even tried reaching out to johnny, anyway. 

so why should he, when he doesn’t even know what he did wrong?

but there’s a nagging voice at the back of johnny’s head. his conscience isn’t too loud but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s there and it doesn’t need excessive volumes to be heard. all it takes is a second of distraction from the paperwork he does, attention straying from the task at hand, and his body will automatically be wracked with guilt. 

knowing how much taeil had waited for his soulmate to come to his life, knowing how taeil can readily give everything up for his soulmate without even meeting them yet… and now knowing taeil just got the worst ever rejection in his entire life?

johnny can’t possibly imagine the pain he’s going through. is he really going to choose now out of all times to be petty because taeil kicked him out when he didn’t even bother asking johnny for anything in return during his stay in the apartment?

so when taeil finally contacted him, the sketchyness of what he had asked for flew right over johnny’s head. rational thoughts flying out the window because taeil needs him, he should his friend after everything taeil did for him—

“hey, uhm… i need insider’s information, can you do that for me?”

you shook your head at the long story johnny told you. tuffs of your hair have escaped the intricate pigtails taeil has put your hair up in earlier before he left for work. he’s always hated having your hair messy, but at the moment you couldn’t find yourself to care. 

“i wouldn’t put it past taeil’s original soulmate…” you think aloud, mouth speaking before you can stop yourself as you stare disdainfully at the dulled string wrapped around your pinky—it lost its divine red glow after your captor had cut it off on the same day he whisked you away.

ironic, how easy it was to destroy something so important.

you backtracked, realizing the gravity of what you said before looking up at your captor’s friend. johnny doesn’t look all too impressed and he sighs at the pleading look in your eyes. please, don’t tell him.

“i guess you’re somewhat right…” he gives in, coursing his fingers through his hair. “taeil had been… very passionate on finding his soulmate. but i mean, come on, why’d you even marry someone who isn’t your soulmate? i don’t blame taeil for doing what he did to them.”

johnny ignores the way your breath hitches and your body halts all movement. “what—what did he do?”

“paid them a ‘lil visit after gathering enough resources from someone on the inside,” his face stoic, voice monotone. johnny doesn’t like talking about this one. “he studied their schedules, where they live, where they work, how they get to work, what time they sleep, what time they wake. then just one day…” 

he drags a finger across his neck.

“oh.” 

pathetically, it was all you can say. why did you even bother to ask, anyway? if taeil had been willing to exert force just to keep you in line, then he has the stomach for whatever gruesome deaths he subjected his soulmate and her fiancé to.

you nibble on your lip as you stare at the knot of thread lying on the floor. you don’t see the need to wear the collar wrapped around your neck when that knot is good enough a reminder that you’re now bound to taeil. that he’s fucked around with your destiny and decided he’ll have you out of all people. 

its hard to believe taeil once almost worshipped the soulmate bonds, not when all he’s ever done is look at it like it's the bane of his existence and calling it a curse to humanity.

“do you know that you’re—”

“that i’m the 5th? yeah, i know. i saw all the knots on his string.” you defeatedly say, a vivid image of the knots spaced across his string like tophies. “taeil doesn’t like me staring at them, though.”

and you yourself didn’t like staring at them. you never thought something so small and insignificant can mean something so sinister. the knots on his string acting like a body counter. will he get sick of you one day and you’ll just be another knot on his string?

“you’re nothing like his soulmate—i’m not insulting you or anything, i’m just saying the truth. the past girls all had at least something in common with her but you… nothing. not even your hair shines like hers, and that’s even after taeil has taken good care of you.”

this doesn’t soothe you in any sense and before you can open your mouth to retort, the familiar beeping of the code getting punched into the keypad cuts you off. 

taeil stood in the entrance as he shrugged off his coat, his polo crinkled at some areas and pieces of his hair had escaped that slicked back hairstyle. 

“you’re home early…”

your blood runs cold when he doesn’t even offer you a glance, skipping you out and immediately addressing johnny. “i thought i told you to go home already after delivering the food.”

you admire the way johnny’s eyes roll. must be nice not to be so fucking terrified of the man. “yeah, but your current sweetheart here was lonely and practically begged me to stay.”

the sting of betrayal never grows familiar. 

“i never said anything—”

“you did, have you forgotten already?” you hate the show of lust clouding in johnny’s eyes as he stares you down. this can’t be happening right now. “have you forgotten how you even came unto me? whined like a bitch about how taeil doesn’t even fuck you hard enough and you had to fake orgasms all the time?”

“that’s not true!” your frustration manifests as tears. they sting your eyes as you look at taeil. “i never said anything—”

but you pale when you realize they’re not even listening to you, the two guys fist bumping in the foyer and exchanging a few words like “thanks for telling me,” and “no problem, bro,” were heard before taeil is heatedly storming up to you. 

you feel numb as you look over taeil’s shoulder at the little smirk johnny shoots at you. have fun, he mouths mockingly and then he’s out the door, extracting himself from the mess he created. 

when taeil wordlessly drags you across the hallway, you thought he’ll make a right turn and into the bedroom but imagine your surprise when he pulls you instead towards the bathroom. he wastes no time throwing you against the cold hard tiles as he tells you only one thing. 

“strip.”

“taeil…”

“you don’t want to be replaced.” it doesn’t take a genius to know taeil had hit the nail on the head. all your movements come to a halt, looking up at him with an unreadable look in your face. “that’s your fear, isn’t it? that if you die, if i kill you, i can just look for another girl and you’d be forgotten at the snap of a finger. i’m right, aren’t i?”

you gulp, his words stinging even if he didn’t mean for it to sting. or maybe he did. taeil takes a step closer to you, studying your appearance as he brings a hand up to caress your tear-stained face. 

spots in your clothes are wet due to the splashes of water on the tiles, and the clips in your hair that once looked neat and perfect are now hanging in disarray, falling off in some places. 

“i’m sorry,” you sob. “i’m sorry, john—johnny’s lying. you—you have to—to believe me. please don’t replace me… i’ll be good, i promise…”

truly, there’s no better motivator than fear. and there’s no better way to mess with someone’s head than using their weakness against them. 

“you say you’ll be good but i tell you to strip and you couldn’t even do that?” 

taeil could never imagine replacing you. he finds it stupid, whatever that brought in this fear of yours, but it doesn’t mean he won’t be extracting every little bit he can get out of this.

he can only stare in awe when you start wiggling your way out of your pretty pink clothes, eyes drinking every bit of your skin slowly being exposed to him as he reaches behind you to open the running water, slowly filling the bathtub.

“get in,” he instructs and you waste no time. 

as he sheds his own clothes, he can practically feel the want radiating off you. he knew johnny’s lying, but he humored his friend still. there’s no way you can fake the noises you always make. plus, taeil has seen one too many times the cum dribbling out of your cunt after he’s fucked you into oblivion. he scoffs. harder? then he’ll be breaking you in half already. 

taeil swats your hand away as it reaches for his cock and he hopes you don’t notice it twitching before you when you let out a cute whine. 

“you want it?”

you nod urgently, salavitating at the thought. taeil was more of a giver to his partners, it’s rare for him to take his pleasure first but you’re far from complaining. 

“oh, i don’t know…” he pouts, fisting himself in front of you before giving it a few testing pumps. he swallows the hiss threatening to spill from his lips, chuckling instead at the intense look in your eyes as it follows his hand movements. 

you were by far the most compliant girl he’s ever had, someone who’d rather stay than escape. his methods of forcing someone into submission worked extremely well with you. so really, how can he let go of his glorified little pet?

“you’re not lying to me, aren’t you? i got hurt, you know, with what johnny said… i guess i was doing something wrong.”

“no!” your reply is immediate. “no, that’s not true—”

hands wrap around your throat like a vice. “how about you prove it to me, love? tell me everything i want to hear.”

now, this is easy. you’ve practically memorized everything you need to tell him to boost his ego. it doesn’t even take much of an effort. 

“i love your cock so much that my body hurts. it hits all the right places inside of me and i will never even dream of wanting another man because they won’t be able to fuck me like you do.”

you feel giddy when he smiles that satisfied smile, your toes curling in anticipation as he leans in to give his obedient darling a kiss—

until he shoves your face down the water. 

it doesn’t take much effort to wrestle your limbs down and insert himself into you, groaning at the feeling of your lush and moist walls sucking him in. you’re always so damn wet when he fucks you, oh how much he loves it. loves how tighter your cunt wraps around him as you squirm and fight him to get to the surface of the half-filled tub.

it was only after a few deep thrusts did he relent and pull you up, the few hair clips in your hair floating in the water around as you gasp greedy amounts of air. one look at taeil’s face pulled in ecstasy is enough for you to know it was well worth it.

maybe being rejected by his soulmate was a blessing in disguise. maybe the disobedience of every girl he took before you had been deliberately well-planned. or else he’d never would’ve met you. 

taeil was right. all the soulmate and soulmark shit is utterly useless and stupid. because you are by no means his soulmate, but fuck he’ll never let you go.

not when your destiny is to lay there underneath him, taking whatever it is that he gave you like a good little whore. 

[smileysuh]

What does it make me if I can’t get off to smuts that don’t have some kind of after care even if it’s just like a cuddle or a gentle kiss ? Like I like rough things but I skim the story when there’s dom/sub stuff but if he’s only mean & rough & doesn’t coddle me after, I dip immediately. Does that make me spoiled or selfish or whatever? & ik irl I’d feel the same so I guess that why I feel that way about the smut..am I (no pun intended) a big pussy for that 🙍🏾‍♀️?

(I asked u cus u tend to keep it real without trying to hurt our feelings :> )

oof! ok, so, disclaimer: i am not a doctor nor am i a psychiatrist... however i do read and watch a fuck ton of stuff about psychology and philosophy and other random stuff that i feel is appropriate for this topic so lets go!

first off, you're not selfish or spoiled because you want cuddles and romance in your smut

it's 2022, which means, a lot of us have been growing our brains during the time of technology, and with technology (and p*rn), comes a lot of desensitization to all sorts of things.

"Some pornography scholars and pundits have suggested that, over time, viewers, the majority of whom are men, gradually become desensitized to such materials. In fact, they often actively seek aggressive and demeaning contents once the thrill and excitement previously achieved by traditional videos diminishes, similar to drug addicts who consume higher doses once they are unable to reach the same high as with the previous dose (Dodige, 2007; Hilton & Clark, 2011; Paul, 2010)."

- you can read the paper here or find countless others like it online :)

I think the effects of these sorts of things on fanfiction isn't studied as much as it should be to be honest. but some things i've noticed during my time writing smut is that-

when i started writing nsfw at 19, i really didn't know anything about love or sex or the world or anything- and if you read my stuff, a lot of it featured these very strict gender and dom/sub roles, because my understanding was based on mainly, you guessed it, p*rn.

while online communities are wonderful, and i probably wouldn't be alive today without my tumblr family, the issue with these closed circuit online communities lew of a more Habermass "Public Sphere" model approach is: if you have a bunch of young adults with not much experience, writing smut, the chances are, it's going to start mirroring the things they've seen on media, and they have no lived experience to tell them otherwise-

but it extends more than that you know? like this is such a multifaceted concept- for example, i grew up in a troubled home with daddy issues, so that definitely manifested in my writing- and still does to this day- i had to learn to accept love and do a lot of healing before i could write established relationship au's the way i'm doing now.

so basically:

the patriarchy/media is low-key set up to make women feel ashamed about wanting our basic needs to be met.

sex and violence going hand in hand has been way too normalized, and real love and aftercare shown nowhere near as much

if anyone ever makes you feel bad about wanting basic human connection in sex or in smut, then they're not for you

you deserve to feel loved- even in smut, if that’s your prerogative

however.... with all that in mind, sometimes i still wanna be whored around cuz that's how i deal with my trauma, and to each their own :)

ur not a big pussy, you're a goddess, and each temple of worship comes with a different set of rules ;) if the man don't want to pray- he can go the fuck away :) okay?

i love you

[naktergalen]

Rivamika Fic Suggestions List 2

Hey there again! It’s been a while since my last rivamika post and I apologies for that. I caught the reading bug and have just been hitting book after book. I might be doing a book of the month suggestion starting in March. I’m still thinking about it but if that is something your interested in let me know. Or if you just want book suggestions just message or ask me. But for now, I’m back with my second Rivamika Fic Suggestions List.

First of all, I want to thank you for all the comments and messages I received from my first list! I think it has over 150 notes now which is crazy for me. I was going to be ecstatic if it got like 10 likes or something hahaha! I’ve enjoyed talking to some of you about fics and other snk stuff. Feel free to do the same after this post! I know I take awhile to respond but swear I get there eventually.

Same rules as last time. I’ve split this list up into four categories. I wanted to let people know the status of some of these fics in case they did not want to start an incomplete or in progress story. All of these fics can be found on AO3. I’m going to try to link them but we will see how tumblr acts today. If you have any fic suggestions for me, feel free to message me with them and I can add them on to the next list. If any author sees their story on here and wants me to take it off the list, please let me know I don’t wish to make anyone feel uncomfortable. Also, last thing, I highly recommend leaving comments and kudos to the authors. I know that they greatly appreciate it and it helps them with improving their writing through feedback. Okay shutting up now, ON WITH THE LIST!

DISCLAIMER: I know that not all of these stories are not for everyone, these are just my opinions and suggestions.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Completed:

- Thunder Clouds

Author: K_Lionheart

Rating: Mature

Sometimes I like to go to the very back of the Rivamika archive on AO3 and look for fics that have gotten buried over time. Low and behold what I have found lol! I enjoyed the emotional roller coaster when I was reading this fic, though sometimes I wanted to pull my hair out. Set after the titans are gone, humanity has to repopulate so arranged couples by the monarch are made to be wed. While this new order is being enforced, Mikasa and Levi are trying to work out their strained relationship. A slow burn with angst that will have you staying up till 3am dying to know what happens next. I know that there is a sequel to this fic called Nimbus and I’m slowly working my way through that one. Honestly, it will probably go on my next list.

- Red is the Only Colour

Author: mongoose_bite

Rating: Mature

A cute fic that was a quick but wild ride. A Little Red Riding Hood type of AU where Mikasa is a hunter of some sorts traveling through a town. I don’t want to say how Levi plays into all of this since it gets border line spoilers but just know that he is there. It is an opening ending fic for the author to come back if they plan on doing so but it can be interpreted in different ways. All in all, a fic worth of the quick read.

- Sing Me a Song

Author: LazyTrash

Rating: Mature

First I have to get this off my chest, I love the author’s name hahaha! I freakin wished I would have thought of that for mine! Anyway, this fic is wonderful but I will warn you that its a gut punch. If you like hurt and angst put together, then this is the story for you. I love these types of fics because I adore them so much but they hurt me in my soul. I don’t know what that says about me but whatever. I don’t want to delve into the story too much for spoilers but I would suggest rivamika fans to check this one out.

- Midnight Musings

Author: Raewyll

Rating: Teen

I just started to read Raewyll’s fics so I’m slowly working my way through all her works. This one caught my eye and I had to read it. This is a cute take on a chance meeting through texting the wrong number. I love the way Levi and Mikasa’s relationship blossoms into something more serious after causally texting back and forth. It’s one of those stories that I can only describe as being cute as shit! I’m definitely going to be checking out more of Raewyll’s fic in the future.

Ongoing:

- Beyond the Walls

Author: helena3190

Rating: Matue

If you love RIvamika angst, then look no further than this baby right here. This is currently my favorite ongoing fic. It was supposed to be a shorter story, but the author keeps adding more chapters so I’m not complaining hahaha! This fic is pretty much how I would *personally* picture canon Mikasa on how she would deal with realizing that she’s falling in love with someone. Its mostly told in the perspective of Mikasa as she is dealing with the after effects of war and trying to figure out what should she do with her life now that she is no longer a solider. Her feeling for Levi come with a lot of confusion as she’s discovering emotions that she has never felt before. She has a hard time pinpointing on what exactly describes her relationship with him. I’m anxiously waiting for the final chapter for this fic and dying to see how it will end for Mikasa and Levi.

- After the War

Author: loneackerman

Rating: Mature

I am loving this rivamika slow burn fic right here. Its similar to Beyond the Walls but I think the author adds their own taste of the 1920s into it. Set after the war is over (obviously), Mikasa and Levi have to figure out what they are going to do the rest of their lives. It has great tension, a perfectly paced gradual romance and just the right amount of humor to combat the emotional turmoil it puts you through. Again in my opinion, this is close to how I would realistically perceive Levi and Mikasa’s relationship evolving. I’m really enjoying this story and I’m looking forward to more updates to come!

- The Sound of Lightning

Author: LycheeGreenTea

Rating: Mature

A new fic that is just getting started but I can tell that what the author has in store is going to be interesting. Set several years after the end of the war, Levi and Mikasa are loving parents to a single child. Their peaceful life comes to an end when the family has a threat against them. There are not many long fics about Mikasa and Levi being parent so I was very happy when this one popped up on the AO3 feed. An exciting adventure awaits the Ackerman family now and I can’t wait to see where this fic goes in the future. There are three chapters as of now so head over there and check it out.

Incomplete:

- Home

Author: MissErikaCourt

Rating: Mature

One of the gems I found when diving back into the Rivamika archive. Ugh I HATE that this fic is incomplete!!! Its a good long fic but I’m greedy and I need more! I will give a warning first that this fic does contain heavy themes. Mikasa and Levi are in the underground to fight against a criminal ring. This story is a slow burn with action and emotional trauma. There is a wonderfully written OC that you easily get attached to its not even funny. Even though its not completed, I would highly recommend checking it out. I still have three more chapters to finish but I had to put it on this list. I know that I’m going to be pissed once I reach the last chapter written. If someone know MissErikaCourt, let her know that she needs to comeback to finish this masterpiece!

- Shiver

Author: bornsinner

Rating: Mature

Another one that I DISPISE its incomplete!!! Ugh such a great Office AU. It’s everything that I would want in an Office AU setting. Mikasa struggles between her committed long term relationship and her growing attraction (which starts to develop into some feelings) to her boss, Levi. Its hot, sexy and intriguing and it pisses me off that its not finished! The author writes each chapter as a one-shot but collectively together they tell the whole story. Highly recommend even though its so short. BORNSINNER where ever you are in the universe I hope you come back to finish this!!!

- Two Lines

Author: Crejhov

Rating: Mature

When this was getting updated it was my favorite on-going Rivamika fic. I would find myself checking to see if the author updated with a new chapter every week! The unplanned pregnancy trope is a classic one, but Crejhov does a fantastic job on keeping readers enthralled with soo many anticipated character meet up that are bound to cause hurdles for our expecting parents. This story is told from the perspectives of Mikasa and Levi in order for us to understand where their mindsets are as they plan for their expecting child and deal with their relationship. AHHHHH I want more of this!!! I was soo excited to see where this awkward journey was going to take Mikasa and Levi. CREJHOV COME BACK PLEASE I KNOW YOU HAVE WORK BUT PLEAAASEEEE! I NEEEEEEDDDD!!!

- Cabin Fever

Author: AmayaOkami

Rating: Mature

All I should have to say about this is that its written by AmayaOkami and that should explain it. Amaya is the one that gave us the beautiful incomplete rivamika fic Romance and Rivalry. I just adore her writing. Levi and Mikasa relationship evolves as they are standing guard over the arrested Kenny Ackerman. Secrets are discover about the Ackermans and it gets pretty steamy between our two favs. Great fluff and great sexual tension that leaves you wanting more chapters! Again AmayaOkami where ever you went I hope for some miracle that you come back and complete this one too!

One-Shot:

- Jade

Author: shulkie

Rating: Mature

This one-shot feels like I read a novel, it has such a great storyline. An arranged marriage between Mikasa and Levi leaves the relationship strained in the beginning. Their relationship evolves over time as Levi patiently brings down Mikasa’s wall. With smut added for all of your one-shot needs. Definitely worth the read in my opinion.

- What Remains

Author: Mirime

Rating: Mature

This one-shot gives us a glimpse into the secret relationship that Levi and Mikasa have been having while there are still scouts. This fic is sad but I would say it has a bittersweet ending. I think this was supposed to be part of a collection but I can’t find the rest of them. Still a great read by itself.

- Agape

Author: alienheartattack (Sanneke)

Rating: Mature

This fic is cute as shit! A College AU where Mikasa and Levi are childhood friends. Levi has to deal with Mikasa being at the same college as him while he is struggling with his changing feelings towards a grown up Mikasa. Worth the read as I said cute as shit, leaves you all warm and fuzzy lol!

- As Seen in Shadows

Author: MoraLeeWright

Rating: Explicit

FUCKING MORA! LEE! WRIGHT! UFFFFGGHHH Fuck I’m in love with her writing style. I really have nothing to say more that just go read it! Its hot and sexy and the sexual tension is off the fucking charts in this one. Its just MoraLeeWright smut thats all I can say. It’s great! JUST READ IT LMAO!

- Remedy

Author: NSummer

Rating: Mature

Another hot smut one-shot coming your way! Levi and Mikasa have had an ongoing affair and this just recounts their first time together. Its just some good ol’ Rivamika smut that I think that everyone in this community would enjoy.

- Nutty: Drunk in Love

Author: Hallow17

Rating: Mature

A fun smut to read about Mikasa getting “revenge” on her asshole boss, Levi. Things don’t go the way she plans as things get a little heated in the sexy way. A quick smut that I think is perfect for a little Rivamika crave.

- Spicy: Jalapeno

Author: Hallow17

Rating: Explicit

Another fun smut to read by Hallow17. Levi has been stressed out at work and Mikasa finds a way to help him get his mind off it (if you know what i mean). Again perfect for a Rivamika quick fix.

[chuckbass-love]

Yay! Same tbh I have loads of smuts ready to write 😂

Okay so my request is: either Steve or Chris (which ever one you feel more comfortable writing for) and Y/n are meeting their friends for the day to just have a day out or something. And whilst their getting ready y/n decides to tease Chris or Steve by putting in his favourite lingerie that he loves seeing her in. And just as Chris or Steve is about to pounce on her there’s a knock on the door and it’s their friends. Y/n keeps teasing him the entire night without fail and once they are in their car on their way home He just can’t keep his hands off of her anymore and ends up fingering her whilst he’s driving but he doesn’t let her cum 🥵

Hi love. I’m so happy about this request and so excited. I tried to write this a couple times, ended up deleting lots of parts before the ideas finally started flowing. So here it is.

Also, i’ve had so much fun getting to know you lately and i’m glad we started talking!

Disclaimer: My work is not to be posted anywhere else other than MY Tumblr, Wattpad and Ao3 without my permission. However, reblogs are welcome.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: Whole lotta filth/smut, language, fingering, oral (male receiving), hair pulling, degradation, orgasm denial, fluff, whole lotta romance. 18+

Word Count: 3,870

GIF NOT MINE!!! Credit goes to @luvinchris go check them out 💜

Punishments & Surprises 

Chris wonders into your shared bedroom, leaning against the doorway of your closet as he watches you get ready. You bend over to put some fresh panties on, the laced blue ones. His favourite. As you step into them, your pussy and ass on full view to him, he feels a situation develop in his jeans. Not the best time to get a hard cock,

The two of you are on your way out to meet some friends for food. And yet here he is, contemplating on cancelling just so he can fuck that beautiful pussy of yours. The thought of making you cum multiple times is too much for him. He tugs at his bottom lip as he comes out of his daze. Only to be met with the sight of you. In the bra that matches those panties.

God. You’re fucking perfect to him. Everything about you.

“You gonna talk at some point or just continue to drool?” you mock, noticing how his mouth is hanging open.

He closes it. His eyes ogle your half naked body, lust and hunger fill them.

“Please baby” Chris begging is always so amusing to you. Because it rarely happens, it makes it that much sweeter to tease him.

“Whatever you’re thinking, don’t. We have to be somewhere in 20 minutes Chris” you finish getting ready, slipping the skirt on and pairing it with the matching top and some heels.

He’s still staring you down. You walk past him but he grabs a hold of your hand, pulling you flush against him.

“Please, Y/N” you tut “what is it that you want baby? Want to bend me over the bed, slide that hard cock into my wet pussy. Fuck me stupid until i’m begging you to stop” you palm him over his slacks, winding him up even more.

He gulps at your words “yes, that’s exactly what i want” you giggle “too bad. We have plans with our friends” his breathing picks up even more as he rests his hands on your perfect ass.

“God you’re just pining for it aren’t you” you kneel down so your face is level with his crotch. You stick your tongue out and glide it across where his bulge is.

“So big” you giggle as you strut away from him. Leaving him standing there. All hot and bothered and rock hard.

You slip your coat on, handing him his as he meets you by the front door.

Just as he’s about to make a second attempt, there’s a knock.

You smirk at him, opening the door to reveal your friends.

“You guys ready?” you nod, stepping out of the house. Chris locks up before unlocking his car for you. You both get in and follow them to the restaurant.

“Such a tease” he spits, gripping the steering wheel tight.

“Chris we have plans, i can’t just drop them because you want to fuck”

“Starting to think you do this shit on purpose”

“Maybe i do. Maybe i love watching your cock get hard when you watch me bend over, shoving my ass and pussy in your face. Maybe i love flaunting myself in front of you”

“Fuck Y/N” he adjusts himself again, you’re definitely getting to him.

----------------

The night is going well. Drinks are flowing much like the conversation.

The topic then turns to you and Chris. How you got together. It was all thanks to his brother Scott. He set the two of you up. He noticed how both of you were clearly moping around, both single and clearly ready to date.

All it took was ten minutes. Ten minutes for you to know that he was the one.

Which doesn’t seem like a lot when you think about it but it was more than enough for you. You don’t care though. You liked him and he liked you. A match made in heaven.

Everyone praises Scott constantly for his match making skills. How he got it spot on.

Even his family does.

Lisa loves you, she classes you as a daughter and Shanna and Carly, even Scott calls you their sister.

You genuinely feel welcome and part of the family, which of course you are. Just not officially. Not yet anyways.

You then get talking about Dodger and the funny things he does.

Like last week when he pretty much tackled Chris to the ground when he was walking through the door with shopping bags. And when he walked in on you two kissing. He sat in the middle of you on the couch, looking back and forth until you were forced to stop due to laughing.

During dinner, you start to palm him. He coughs to cover up the soft moan that almost slipped out, in front of his friends.

You know it’s wrong but you just can’t stop and despite the looming threat of a punishment when you get home, nothing can stop you right now. Not even Chris.

He tugs at his bottom lip, trying to distract himself with eating and talking but that’s when you take his hand under the table, leading it to rest on your soaked clothed pussy. He gets a feel of how dripping you are for him. And when you get up to go to the bathroom, you whisper in his ear.

“See how wet you make me daddy”

He’s tried to tease you back plenty of times but you don’t allow it. He’s just gonna have to wait until he gets you alone.

You return, just in time to pay the bill. You take the spoon from the desert you just demolished. Licking every last bit of chocolate off of it, working your tongue around it. You turn to Chris to see him staring. Once you finish. You arrange how you’re all going to pay before exiting the restaurant.

“We have to do this more often for sure” Julie says, giving you a hug goodbye before hugging Chris.

“Definitely. It was so nice to catch up” he says, waving goodbye to the couple and unlocking his car.

You put your seatbelt on, as does he. Complete silence falls upon you. It’s not awkward, just tense.

“God that food was incredible” you groan, yawning shortly after. Still not a word from him. He chuckles, shaking his head as he starts the car, pulling out of the parking lot.

He gradually speeds up, causing you to gasp.

But still. Nothing from him.

“You think that’s fucking funny do you?”

You just widen your eyes, looking at him.

“What d-”

“Answer me” he snaps with a smack to your thigh, causing you to jolt.

“It was just a bit of fun Chris calm down”

“Just a bit of fun huh? How’s this for some fun then?”

He reaches his hand over, sliding your skirt up just enough so he can reach his hand into your wet panties.

“Spread them”

You waste no time in following his demands. He starts running his fingers through your folds and rubbing at your aching clit. You need him so badly.

But he isn’t going to give in easily. No, you’re gonna need to earn it. Earn the right to get fucked. And Chris never backs down in these situations, it’s rare if he does.

“Does it feel good huh?” you hum in response, gripping onto his forearm. It feels so good, the pressure. The way he can have you crumbling just from the smallest of touches is insane to you. But it’s always been this way.

“Please” your grip tightens, nails digging into his skin as you grind into his fingers. You just need a little more. You need his fingers inside of you, pushing against your spot and forcing an orgasm from you.

But it’s not gonna come true just yet.

“Please what?” 

“I need your fingers in me, please Chris” that’s your first mistake. You know full well in these situations that he doesn’t like to be called by his name. He insists on ‘daddy’ and yet you’ve just broken the most important rule. You’re definitely in for it now.

No chance of getting your way.

“What did you just fucking call me?” he slams two of his thick digits inside of you, no warning before pulling them out and smacking your thigh. 

“I asked you a question. Don’t test my patience baby” you moan at how low his voice has gotten “i didn’t mean it. I’m sorry daddy” he chuckles.

His fingers slowly slide back in and he wastes no time in dragging them in and out nicely “we’ll be home soon and i don’t want you to cum before then. If you do, you won’t like the consequences. You got it?” you nod, biting your lip and mumbling a nervous “yes” to satisfy him.

He continues to fuck into you, adding a third finger to the mix. You should be used to orgasm denial by now. You tend to break the rules a lot, leaving it up to Chris to teach you how to behave like a good girl. 

You gotta say though, you like it. The thrill of not knowing how well you’re going to hold it each time. Sometimes you can hold back, it’s a struggle and it’s certainly not easy but this time however, was not one of those times.

No this time, he’s not letting up. His speed is staying the same and he’s using his thumb to rub at your throbbing bundle of nerves. Making it almost impossible for you to not fall over. He knows what he’s doing. He wants you to cum, he’s doing this on purpose. He wants to punish you further.

Maybe the consequences won’t be so bad. You decide to test him

You let go, refusing the hold it any longer. Letting your body just take it.

“Mhmm fuck. Daddy” your walls clamp down around his digits and he pulls out.

“Thought you could pull a fast one did you? Thought i wouldn’t feel you getting close? Such a dumb little baby” your eyes widen as you watch his hand cup your sex before raising it to smack down.

You whine at his actions, begging for him to stop but he doesn’t “you just don’t learn do you?” you start pouting at him. Watching as he grips the steering wheel with both hands after 3 smacks.

The plan back fired.

“I’m sorry daddy” he’s not taking any of it. No amount of apologies or whines will make this better now. You just might be worse off now than you were before.

All of a sudden he pulls over. Some random side road.

“Take those fucking panties off now” you undo your seatbelt following his orders without any fuss before you turn to look at him, lips pouty and eyes all wide. Awaiting his next instructions.

His fingers fiddle with his belt.

“You’ve done nothing but tease me all dam day, bending that pretty little ass over in my face and exposing your cunt to me” he starts, unbuckling his belt and undoing the button on his jeans.

“Then we go out for some lovely food with our friends and you continue. Licking your spoon clean, rubbing my legs and placing my hand over your soaked panties” he slides the zipper down, moving so he can pull his jeans and boxers down. His rock hard cock springs free, the tip is red and angry as pre cum leaks out of it. Making your mouth water with need.

You gulp just looking.

“And that brings us to now, disobeying daddy’s rules. Trying to cum when i specifically told you that you couldn’t” he starts pumping himself before gathering the pre cum on his finger and bringing it to your mouth.

“Open” you feel the salty-sweet taste on your eager tongue as he stuffs his index finger in your mouth quickly.

“And now, you’re going to suck my fucking cock until i cum in that dirty mouth, put it to good use” you nod, moving forward and taking it in your small hands. You waste no time in taking all of him.

Moving down until he bottoms out. Your nose touches the hair that decorates his size.

He groans at the feel of your warm mouth around him. The feel of your tongue licking his shaft each time you come up for air.

Chris knows you’re a good girl most of the time. But sometimes you like to run your mouth and land yourself in hot water. He can’t say he doesn’t enjoy you doing so, it means he gets to be extra rough with you and he knows you enjoy it just as much. Why else would you go to the effort of teasing him all day? You’re dying to be punished and fucked hard. Treated like the whore that you are. But only for him.

He starts bucking his hips up into your mouth, causing you to gag, a sound he loves to hear. It’s like music to his ears.

“Is my cock too much for you baby?” you pull off with a pop “no daddy” he forces himself back inside of your mouth, you gag once again.

“Something tells me that you’re lying. You can’t handle daddy’s cock pretty girl?” you pull off again.

“No daddy, i can handle it” he chuckles at the way you’re so responsive to him.

Now it’s clear he has other plans for you.

“Come here, sit on my cock” just what you’ve been waiting for.

You move over, he lines himself up and you sink down. But before you can even think about bouncing, he holds you still.

“You’re gonna stay still, sitting with my cock buried deep inside you, keeping it warm. I want you to think about how you’ve acted tonight first before you ride me”

You gulp again. This is the last thing you expected him to do.

“I’m sorry daddy. Please” he tuts “not everything will magically go away with a quick apology princess. I want you to really be sorry. And there’s only one way you’re going to learn” your breathing becomes heavier.

You don’t even need to ask, he knows you want to know.

And just like that, he tugs your head backwards. His mouth attacks your clothed nipples. His hips move and you feel his cock twitch.

He takes your shirt, tearing it in two with no issues. Leaving your chest exposed. Now you really feel like a whore.

Pulled over on a side road, where anyone could drive by. If they do, they’d have quite the sight. You sat on his cock, tits out as he sucks on them.

“F-fuck daddy” your whines are getting louder and louder. He doesn’t listen though, just continues to leave marks all over your chest and neck. He won’t let up until you’re covered.

“Okay, you ready princess? Think you’ve earnt the right to be fucked?” you nod “yes daddy, please fuck me” 

You don’t have to tell him twice.

His hands splay across your ass cheeks, gripping at them and digging his nails in as he lifts you up, making room for him to fuck you.

His thrusts pick up instantly. The look in his eyes is rendering on animalistic. Lust filled.

This is the side of Chris that you absolutely adore. He can make you do pretty much anything when he gets like this. Hungry and annoyed at your actions. It’s a dangerous mix but one that’s as sweet as sugar.

“Always so tight and warm wrapped around me” he grunts, your forehead rests against his, your hands hold onto his shoulders for support.

“Shit, you feel so good” you throw your head back, arching your back. He takes the opportunity to bury his face in the valley of your breasts. Kissing you, open mouthed.

“God. I feel that pretty cunt clenching me like that. Don’t you dare fucking cum baby. You have to wait” 

But you can’t wait, you need that release. It’s been building up and his punishments haven’t helped.

“Please. D-daddy. I need to cum” he shakes his head.

You’ve never begged him so much.

“You want it? Huh? Fucking beg, properly this time”

He drags his cock in and out, aggressively. Not letting up. Hitting your cervix again and again. Your mouth falls open, incomprehensible murmurs leave and he’s not much better. His eyes scrunch closed before he opens them to watch you.

“Fuck baby” 

“Please, i want to cum. I need to cum. Please daddy, I’ll be a good girl” as much as he wants to continue this torture, he needs it too. 

He craves the mess of your cum all over his cock. The way you clamp down on him as you do so, spurring on his own release.

The way you moan at the feel of him spilling inside of you.

“You ready to cum with me sweetheart?” 

“Yes” 

He slams in slow and hard. You clench. He twitches.

“OH SHIT” you scream, falling over the edge as your orgasm consumes you. The way your crying out brings his release on,

You feel his hot seed coat your walls, painting them and filling you up perfectly. You continue to lift off and sink back down. Allowing yourselves to ride the highs out together.

He brings your face to his level. His lips attack yours in a hungry and bruising kiss. Filled with passion and love.

He swipes his tongue across your bottom lip, nipping at it slightly. You open up, allowing him to explore your mouth, dominating your tongue at the same time. You love it.

“Every time we do that, it gets better” you both laugh and you can’t help but agree with him. Sex has always been adventurous, wild and yet completely tame and romantic with you two. You never know which type you’re gonna get some nights, but that’s what makes it so fun.

“I love you so much Y/N, so much” he pants as he rests his forehead to yours.

“I know, i love you too Chris”

“No, you don’t understand”

You furrow your brows in confusion, motioning for him to continue.

“My life has been a million times better since you came into it. You make me a much better man, a better boyfriend. Just by being with me. I love you with every ounce of my being. With every cracked piece of my heart. With every kiss that you give me, every touch, every smile, every laugh. I fall more and more and i can’t spend another moment on this earth without telling you this. You need to hear it. You’re the only woman for me, the only woman i ever want to wake up next to, the only woman i want to make love to, the only woman. It’s like we fit together so perfectly, almost like we were made and brought into this world, destined to meet and be together. Like this was the plan all along”

Your heart starts to race, tears brim in your eyes. Where has all this come from? You can’t help but wonder. He wears his heart on his sleeve with you and he always has done but you’ve never seen him like this.

His shaky hands cup your face, kissing you before he continues.

He leans over to the passenger side, opening the glove compartment and taking out a small box.

Okay, now you’re freaking out.

“Chris”

He puts a finger over your lips, shushing you so he can talk.

“I know that we’ve been with other people before each other but it feels like that was just just part of the plan. We weren’t ready to be together just yet. We had to experience life first. Experience true heartbreak before we could finally be happy together. And now we are. I want you to know that for as long as you allow me to, i will make you the happiest woman on earth. I won’t ever make you feel neglected. You’ll never have to question if you’re worthy or beautiful because i’ll be right here to remind you that you are more than worthy and that beauty knows no bounds when it comes to you. That you are quite literally the most stunning woman. You will never spend a night crying alone, i’ll be here to hold your hand and comfort you during any difficult time”

“Chris, what’s all this?”

He wipes the tears away from his face and yours.

“I know i’m supposed to get down on one knee and i wasn’t planning on doing this until next week on date night” he starts chuckling at himself “but, this moment feels far too perfect to not take the chance”

“I love you Y/F/N will you do me the great honour of becoming my wife and Dodgers official mommy?” you giggle at that last part. He opens the box to reveal the most gorgeous ring that you’ve ever seen. Your eyes meet his, both filled with tears of joy and happiness.

“Yes”

“Really?” he looks surprised.

“Yes. You huge dork. A thousand times yes. I’ll marry you” he pulls you down to kiss him before sliding the ring onto your fingers. It fits perfectly, just like he thought it would and it looks so good on you. So right.

“I guess we should probably get dressed now huh?” you slap his chest playfully, nodding in agreement as you move to your seat. You adjust your clothes and he does the same. Once you’re dressed, he gets a jacket from the back seat, handing it to you to cover your modesty with. He can’t have the neighbours seeing his fiancés tits now can he?

It doesn’t take long to get home. His hand rests on your thigh.

Once he parks up he leads you into the house where Dodger runs up to the two of you and you flash your hand to him. He might just be a dog but from the way he’s jumping up the two of you and barking, he knows.

“That’s right Dodge, daddy finally did it. It only took 4 years” you say sarcastically, spying the way Chris rolls his eyes.

“Hey, i was picking the right moment”

“And fucking me senseless in your car on the side of the road, was the right moment?” he pulls you flush against him.

“Do i have to punish you again, future Mrs Evans?” you love the sound of that.

“Maybe you do Mr Evans”

“Get in that bedroom now” he spanks your ass and you run.

By the time he gets there, you’re sprawled out on your shared bed. Pussy exposed, nipples hard. Just how he likes you to be.

“Now. If you’re going to be my wife i suggest you stop with the attitude or you should probably get used to daily punishments”

He smirks, joining you on the bed.

You feel like the luckiest woman in the world. A woman who is very much looking forward to a lifetime of punishments from her husband. A lifetime of nasty and romantic sex. Starting with tonight. The first night of being engaged to Christopher Robert Evans.

----------------

General Tag List: @deadlymistress24 @coffeebooksandfandom @princess-evans-addict @chris-butt @holtzkinnon @mychemicalimagines @llamadelreyx @haus-of-bitch-talk @buckstaybucky @thewinchestergirl1208 @chrissquares @patzammit @adriannajackson @dummiesshort @cevans-fics @americasass91 

Just Chris & His Characters Tag List: @onetwo3000 @persephonequeenofthedead @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @rynabarnesrogers @princess-evans-addict @stxvercgersslut @chris-evanslover @bval-1 

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!!

[alittlefrenchtree]

I have a PR question. How do we know if a non-paparazzi photo is staged/arranged or not? I’m talking about random pictures someone takes of him and his supposed dates. ☺️

I don’t think you can know for sure, Nonny. That’s kind of the beauty of it 😊

If you’re interested in joining today’s class and read a little more about stuff, click below.

Disclaimer 1) I really shouldn’t be any kind of authority in terms of pr and of famous people pr but since many people here are presenting things as true statements without knowing anything about anything, it’s only fair that I tried to explain some stuff while knowing, like 5% of stuff.

Disclamer 2) I’m not really interested about talking specifically about Timmy’s situation. His dating life is either a private thing that shouldn’t be commented as a public topic or a pr thing that I don’t want to encourage it by commenting. Or both and see all of the above.

What I’m interested in, is talking about pr strategy and public images in general ways, why it’s there and how it works and that’s about it.

That being said, let’s start today’s class.

My belief when it comes to pr and related stuff is that knowing the ‘truth’ is less important than having as much knowledge as possible on the subject. It’s kind like math. If you have an equation and someone gives you the answer but you don’t know how to get to there yourself, knowing the answer doesn’t get you much. But if you have all the keys to resolve the equation, you can try to find the answer on your own. And, even if you don’t find the answer, knowledge will help you understand the logic of it. Why it’s there. What it says.

So what’s our equation today? A content of one (or more) public person/people taken from a smartphone camera of someone we don’t know.

Smartphone content isn’t inconsequential. Using ‘low’ quality camera instead of a professional one says something different. It’s supposed to bring more authenticity, closeness to the audience, spontaneity. It feels truer because you could be the one taken it, since there is a large chance you own a smartphone when you probably don’t own a professional camera. It has to be genuine if you could be the one taking it, right? You would have any interest in taking part of something fake, wouldn’t you?

It can feels logical like everybody knows that or it’s not really important but it’s something that is actually thought through by professionals when it comes to create content. There is that brand of cooking videos (you know the one you stumble on when you remember Facebook exist and that show you recipe that always look really easy to make at home and delicious (and also overly greasy and/or overly sugary) that was explaining how they could totally shot their videos in professional kitchen with high quality stuff but choose to do the complete opposite instead? Because their goal is to make their audience feel like they can make the recipe at home so they shot their videos on small kitchen with smartphones.

Creating professional content on un-professional devices is a real thing. Half of the business of influencers people is built on this. To think that the strategy has stayed only in the influencers people business would be very naive. In the famous people world, content created on smartphone is used for these bts vibes. We’re showing you what you’re not supposed to see so you feel like a part of it. This is how the famous people you love are in real life, when the camera is off. Except they’re not off, since you’re seeing it.

You’re not part of it, we’re showing you just enough for you to want it, to envy it but you’re not.

Let’s go back to the casual pic of that public person. Truth is, you could be taking the picture yourself and still don’t know what you’ve taken.

Say I’m well known top model who has signed a new contract with a clothing brand. I have pap walks to put the clothes in online articles and magazines. Of course pap pics also ends up on social media but they aren’t the type of media design for the platform. Pap walks create some distance from the audience because they often looks like real photo shootings. Part of the audience is defiant towards it. Either it’s an invasion of privacy or it’s staged. It’s not that positive.

What’s positive is me going out in my brand new clothes and cross path with people who recognize me. They wouldn’t know anything about my contract but would do all the job themselves without knowing they’re doing it. They would take a picture from afar, maybe a selfie, share it on social media with a cute context. A story. Write about that cute dress I was wearing, what my coffee order was (omg, she likes almond milk like me!), what’s the interaction was like. Was it staged? I like that dress and I really wanted to go for a walk and for that cup of coffee. And the fan was nice, everything was genuine. Yet, I still went out to be seen and the clothing brand is happy.

The problem with that scenario is that I’m not in control of anything. Maybe nobody will recognize me or care enough to take a picture or something went wrong with the fan/person I’ve seen and instead of a cute story I have someone insulting me all over the internet. Lot of time lost, some risk taken, not much result. Wouldn’t be easier to take a friend or a PA who would snap a few pictures and we’ll be home in 5 minutes, job done? Pr team get the pics and share them with the world with one of the twelve stan accounts about me they’ve been running for years. Even write a little story to go with it if they’re inspired enough. If you think it’s too much, you’re naive. Everything that can be faked or staged to save time, money or give you more control of the result, has already been faked and staged by someone. Multiple someones.

My take on this would be, the bigger you are, the more money you have to carry on your shoulders, the less you let things to chance and the more you take control of your narrative. PAs, agents, PR people,… When you have a whole team around you, you don’t (overly) pay them as secretaries. They’re not just here to handle your planning and bring you coffee or you would only need one person, not 7 of them walking around you all the time.

But what if there is no contract? What if I’m just wearing that dress because I like the brand? Or maybe there is a commercial deal with the brand but I have no obligation to wear it on my daily life or been seen with it. Wouldn’t the pics look exactly the same to an outside eye?

Of course I can go low key, move only inside cars with tinted windows, don’t walk around in popular places and only go in isolated, private places. I can. But maybe sometimes I’m tired of it. Maybe I just want to meet my non-famous friends where they like to go and fuck it if I’m seen there. Pics taken by people would look like they’re staged. Except maybe they’re not.

But if I stop caring, I indirectly accept that however I’m seen becomes part of my public image. And if it has become part of my public image, I should accept that it will be monitored to some extend by my team, and eventually by myself.

So how do we find the answer? We can’t. Based on a single photo alone, I don’t think we can. Unless you’ve seen contracts or you know the person personally, you can’t really pretend what’s going on being doors. Even so, would you know everything? Sometimes a contract is just a contract. Something a commercial deal is also a friendship. Sometimes a real friendship became public et become part of your public image. Sometimes you don’t really feel like talking about commercial deals with that cousin you’re seeing 5 times a year and doesn’t really care about what the details of your fucked-up public job are. So even your own family doesn’t know the truth about everything.

What we can do, if we’re interested in doing it, is look at every piece of content and ask ourselves. What are we seeing? How is it made? For what purpose? How that type of content is used in different contexts?

With more context, you can make interpretations for yourself. Will everybody will have the same? Of course not. Mathematicians, physicists, chemists, spent their time disagreeing on interpretations of stuff, how can we expect people to agree on the interpretation on something based of human behavior?

From what I’m seeing, PR conversations seem to be going on in many (many) fandoms. From a PR point of view, I don’t think it’s not a bad thing, whether what we’re talking about is real or fake in the first place. Having people think it’s fake and people think it’s real makes the conversation going. They’re always be people who would want to defend their point of view, their opinions, their favorite celebrities. Names will keep being mentioned, pics shared, word spread. SEO (Search Engine Optimization) and algorithms are happy.

My best advices, I guess, is, first, remember that you aren't obligated to have opinions on everything or to care about every aspect of the life of an artist you love, even when media and people would like you to think you are and you should. There is even things, such as dating life of other people than yourself, you shouldn’t really have opinions about at all.

If romance, love and sex keeps getting used to sell, it’s because it works. Think about all the books, all the movies, all the stories where a love story is integrated in an action movie/horror story/sci-fi scenario even when it has nothing to do with anything. Romance/love/sex sells since forever and probably for a long time. Because most people think falling in love is the main purpose of life and the most important thing in the world.

My second advice would be, don’t be naive but don’t be cynical either. Contexts and nuances are always important.

Anyways, like always I don’t have an answer and I’m barely even interested in the answer but I hope I'm able bring some perspectives to things because it’s important. More than ever, content is a tool. Since everyone is part of an audience, if not potentially part of all audiences , we should all learn more about how the tool works.

Of course i'm joking about the concept of class. I'm not a teacher. I'm only sharing some personal knowledge and opinions. I can be wrong or contested. No hard feelings against anyone.

[dianapocalypse]

Alright y’all, with the release of Mass Effect: Legendary Edition, it’s time for me to share my playlist for the entire trilogy.

I’ve refined this over like six years so scientifically speaking it’s probably good right. oh also it’s four hours long. so if you have a road trip or a boring job, this one’s for you. disclaimer, it’s entirely possible I have garbage taste in music. I also missed some characters and moments because there’s 65 songs here and I am merely human.

If you don’t have the patience for four hours, I recommend starting at track 45 and listening to the end, as the Mass Effect 3 portion is the strongest in my opinion.

UNDER THE CUT FOR DESCRIPTIONS WE GO!

FIRST MOVEMENT - MASS EFFECT 1

1. Atlas - Coldplay Eden Prime

“Sometimes the wire Must tense for the note Caught in the fire, say oh We're about to explode“

I really like the atmosphere of this song. It’s ominous, but also somehow hopeful, and makes me feel like Something Huge Is Coming.

2. I Will Not Sing A Hateful Song - Constantines Paragon Shepard

“But I was also born and raised To always speak and listen clear To know the last sound that I make Could be the last sound that I hear“

OK, listen, I think this song is about vampires, and I’m not sure if it’s supposed to be a metaphor or not. But I think this is a great song about controlling one’s temper, about knowing that you have to Rise Above the parts of you that want to lash out sometimes to get things done and have peace. Seeing as how paragon Shepard, to me, always seems like they’re three deep breaths away from snapping, but manage to keep it in check, it fits them to a T.

And also maybe they’re a vampire.

3. Hard to Kill - Beth Crowley Renegade Shepard

“So I let the rumors Turn me into a legend 'Cause I'm only human But a good myth is hard to kill”

This one’s a recent addition, but holy cow, I love it for Renegade Shep, particularly an Earthborn or Ruthless, but it works for any of them.

4. We Own the Skies - Five Iron Frenzy Joker

“My hands are bleeding where they often crack The stars will sometimes burn with longing Through the choking black Of night shifts piling each against the next”

This really vibes with Joker’s backstory for me, his super driven serious self in flight school, contrasted with who he is when he can fly a ship. He’s the best pilot in the goddamn fleet and I love him.

5. I Just Wanna See - Smash Mouth Kaidan Alenko

“Mister moon checkin' on how y'all livin' The stars all winkin' at the day that's dimmin' I just wanna see”

This song fits into his reactions to first showing up at the Citadel and his former romanticism about living in space. Ironically, it’s a song about Earth, but I feel like it works well for him. Also, Smash Mouth absolutely sounds like the kind of music Kaidan would listen to, no I will not be taking questions or constructive criticism.

6. Don’t Give Up - Noisettes Ashley Williams

“She's got a talented face and a suitcase Ain't got no desire to go no place In her case she's got no desire with her hand in the flame say's she don't feel the fire “

The energy of this song is just perfect for Ashley’s no-nonsense chip on her shoulder attitude.

7. About As Helpful As You Can Be Without Being Any Help At All - Dan Mangan The Council

“I was thrown in the boat/Cast out to sea Friendly with waves/There were sharks below Hungry for me/So I dangled my leg”

I mean, the title says it all.

8. The Captain - Guster Anderson

“Courageous, just like the captain Marching forward with no doubt in his head”

I have adored this song ever since my friend played it for me, and it’s the ultimate mentor-protégé jam for me.

9. Secret Agent Man - Johnny Rivers Garrus Vakarian

“Here's a man who leads a life of danger To everyone he meets he stays a stranger Oh, with every move he makes another chance he takes The odds are he won't live to see tomorrow”

I have to poke a little fun at Garrus and how seriously he takes himself in Mass Effect 1. I romanced him across four playthrus, I’m allowed!

10. I’m Getting Too Old For This Shit - Kill Lincoln Urdnot Wrex

“This random apathy/I swear it's killing me But I guess it's all the same, till the devil knows my name”

I don’t know ANYTHING about this band, but this song fits Wrex’s disillusionment with the Krogan well, plus, like. The title. (And also, that he secretly DOES care what happens to the Krogan.)

11. Bird Song - Juniper Vale Tali’zorah nar Rayya

“I want to dance on the horizon line But there is something I am caged behind I have a heart made for take flight But I'm low, so low”

I adore this song and the sound of Juniper Vale in general. The etherealness of this one, combined with the youthful optimism, feels very Tali. The line about ‘something I am caged behind’ works well for the suits, too. This one’s especially good if you’re a Talimancer!

12. 11. Green Garden - Laura Mvula Liara T’Soni

“And I’ll fly on the wings of a butterfly High as a tree top and down again Putting my bag down, taking my shoes off Walk on the carpet of green velvet”

I really like this song’s vibes and I feel like Liara fits it well, particularly in ME1, before all her youthful optimism is stripped from her. The scenery descriptions feel very Thessia, too.

13. Feed Me (Git It) - Little Shop of Horrors The Thorian 

“The guy sure looks like plant food to me!”

Do you get it. Do you get my joke. It’s because the Thorian is a plant that eats people. (I’m not funny)

14. Blindness - Metric Matriarch Benezia

“I was a blind fool, never complained All the survivors singing in the rain “

I don’t love the use of blind here as a negative, albeit metaphorical, descriptor, but I think this song fits Benezia’s indoctrination and death well. If you have suggestions for another, though, let me know!

15. Technologic - Daft Punk Saren

“Buy it, use it, break it, fix it, trash it, change it, mail, upgrade it”

I just think it’s Neat

16. Watershed - Vienna Teng The Reapers

“ While you were building your empires I was still sleeping”

I think this is the song that inspired the entire playlist. Vienna Teng sat down and decided to write a song from the perspective of a natural disaster, and it’s so ominous and gut-wrenching.

17. Hourglass - The Hush Sound Virmire

“This is how it ends We believe every lie and say we'll be friends How long will it last? Before we scratch all the scripts and we rework the cast “

hahahahah rework the cast get it because you have to pick who DIES

Seriously tho I really like this song for Virmire and that moment of choice that feels like it lasts 100 years on some playthroughts.

18. Pompeii - Bastille The Siege of the Citadel

“ And the walls kept tumbling down In the city that we love”

Throwback to when this song was on the radio like three times an hour. Which is around the time I made the first draft of this playlist, incidentally! It’s such a good Final Battle Jam for the Citadel, and the part about “if you close your eyes/does it almost feel like nothing’s changed at all” I think work really well for Shepard in this sequence. Shepard knew the Reapers were coming, had been fighting them all along; this attack on the Citadel is just retreading familiar territory for them, as horrifying as the war being brought to their doorstep is for the Citadel’s citizens and the council. James Vega has some good dialogue about that kind of thing in ME3.

INTERLUDE THE FIRST

19. Starships - Nicki Minaj The Normandy Crew

Starships were meant to fly Hands up and touch the sky

I like to have a little fun OK

20. Gravity - Yoko Kanno The Death of Commander Shepard

“Am I alone? is somebody there beyond these heavy aching feet still the road keeps on telling me to go on”

Welcome to mood whiplash, it’s my specialty! This is the part where you die. I think it also works for her coma very well, when she’s just drifting between life and death, not sure what’s going on, but something keeps trying to pull her back to the world.

SECOND MOVEMENT - MASS EFFECT 2

21. The Phoenix - Fall Out Boy The Lazarus Project

“Hey young blood, doesn't it feel like our time is running out? I'm gonna change you like a remix Then I'll raise you like a phoenix “

this song has no right to go as hard as it does and if  you think it’s melodramatic shut up

22. My Body Is A Cage - Peter Gabriel Commander Shepard

“I'm living in an age Whose name I don't know Though the fear keeps me moving Still my heart beats so slow “

This works particularly well if you romanced The Virmire Survivor, but this song captures the energy of Shepard freaking out bc they are trapped with Cerberus, because Cerberus rebuilt their body from the ground up. That jarring, caged feeling is so palpable in ME2 that when they gave me back Joker the first time I played, I BURST INTO SOBS from relief.

23. The Lady is a Vamp - The Spice Girls Miranda Lawson

“That's all in the past, legends built to last But she's got something new”

Listen. She’s a bond babe. Handbags, heels and pistols rock. She’s got class. This is a song about Miranda. That is all.

24. Kryptonite - 3 Doors Down Jacob Taylor

“ I watched the world float to the dark side of the moon After all I knew, it had to be something to do with you “

This one’s about the Vibes for me. Also can apply to his past relationship with Miranda. I’m also super showing my age on this song, oof haha.

25. Stable Song - Death Cab For Cutie Colony Abduction

“Rows of deserted houses all Our stable mates highway bound “

I really like the mood of this one for showing up on the very first abducted colony, the eerieness and sadness of it all and Shepard’s resolve to do something about it.

26. Konichiwa Bitches - Robyn Kasumi Goto

“I'm so very hot that when I rob your mansion You ain't call the cops, you call the fire station”

THAT COUPLET ALONE MAKES THE ENTIRE SONG. I love how playful and cheeky it is.

27. Seven Nation Army Glitch Mob Remix - The White Stripes, Glitch Mob Zaeed Massani

“And I'm talking to myself at night Because I can't forget Back and forth through my mind Behind a cigarette”

Pretty sure we all had this on some playlist or another when it came out, and it’s the perfect Badass With A Grudge song.

28. Science is Real - They Might Be Giants Mordin Solus

“ And when a theory emerges Consistent with the facts The proof is with science The truth is with science “

This one actually got added by my wife to replace a song that wasn’t on Spotify, but that has the same energy; Hank Green’s “I Fucking Love Science”. I get more into the emotional side of Mordin in the ME3 section, but I also really just love his Hamster On Coffee energy and this song captures it really well.

29. Prove Yourself - Radiohead Garrus Vakarian

“I can't afford to breathe in this town Nowhere to sit without a gun in my hand Hooked back up to the cathode ray

I'm better off dead “

The absolute rock bottom mental state Garrus is in when you get back to him in ME2 is so heartwrenching. Might not always agree with my boy’s methods, but he’s one of my favorite fictional characters of all time.

30. Rat a Tat - Fallout Boy Feat. Courtney Love Jack

“We are professional ashes of roses, this kerosene's live You settled your score, this is where you come to beg”

It helps that Courtney Love sounds exactly like Jack to me, NGL.

31. Defeat You - Smash Mouth Grunt

“Hey I know what you've done It makes it that much better to defeat you “

Only I am brave enough to put two songs by Smash Mouth on the same playlist, to be shared in 2021

32. The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot - Brand New Horizon/The Virmire Survivor

“If it makes you less sad I will die by your hand Hope you find out what you want Already know what I am “

Hits harder if you romanced the Virmire Survivor. Mostly from Shep’s perspective. This is a Shep that feels Bad after that encounter rather than Mad, so Your Mileage May Vary.

33. Violet Stars Happy Hunting! - Janelle Monae Tali’zorah vas Neema

“I'm an alien from outer space I'm a cyber-girl without a face a heart or a mind”

I just like the vibes of this one for Tali! I know it’s more about an actual AI but...IDK. I like it. So there.

34. Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd Thane Krios

“There is no pain you are receding A distant ship smoke on the horizon”

This song works both on a Literal level with his Kepral’s syndrome struggles, but also Metaphorical re: his Battle Sleep. Plus, Thane is a dad, so he gets Dad Rock.

35. My Medea - Vienna Teng Samara

“For I have made her prison be Her every step away from me And this child I would destroy If you tried to set her free “

Mom of the year award, here

36. Toxic - Britney Spears Morinth

“There's no escape, I can't wait I need a hit, baby, give me it You're dangerous, I'm loving it”

If Morinth weren’t so under-utilized after recruitment and didn’t get killed off in the background of ME3 I’d probably actually recruit her sometimes. I almost did on my most recent playthru bc that Shepard just HATES SPACE COPS. Anyway the song explains itself

37. Turn me On - David Guetta feat. Nicki Minaj EDI/The Collector Attack

“My body needs a hero Come and save me Something tells me you know how to save me”

I know this song is a metaphor but also it works really well both literally and metaphorically for Joker saving EDI

38. Robots - Dan Mangan Legion

“Robots need love too They want to be loved by you “

The Geth just want to live peacefullyyyyyy 

39. Be Still - The Killers Love Interest Theme

“Be still / someday you’ll leave fearlessness on your sleeve”

This song works so well for the night before Omega-4. If you had an ME2 love interest, anyway. Also “fearlessness on your sleeve” is one of my favorite set of words ever written.

40. No Cars Go - Arcade Fire The Omega-4 Relay

“We know a place no spaceships go We know a place where no subs go “

This one’s pretty literal.

41. Rocketman - Elton John Suicide Mission

“ And I think it's gonna be a long, long time 'Til touchdown brings me 'round again to find I'm not the man they think I am at home “

I like sneaking some Classics onto my playlists, and I think this is how I generally approach Shepard’s mindset during the Suicide Mission, mostly the chorus. I’m also a sucker for ballads during action sequences. This one isn’t a perfect 1:1 but the Vibes check out.

42. Blast Off - David Guetta feat. Kaz James The Normandy Crew

“Got all my people with me And none of us give a fuck So put dem hands up higher Let's smash this party up”

You have to imagine they partied HARD after recovering from Suicide Mission, but before Shep got arrested, right??? This is the Starships for ME2.

INTERLUDE THE SECOND

43. I’m Not Your Hero - Tegan and Sara Liara T’soni

“ Feeling like I am now lighting up the hall I was used to standing in the shadow of a damaged heart Learning all I know now, losing all I did I never used to feel like I'd be standing so far ahead “

This feels like a good coming of age moment for Liara, as she copes with the choices she made in the 2 years of Shepard’s death (giving them to Cerberus), losing Feron, etc. This is her coming into her own as the Shadow Broker. She’s not meant to be an uncomplicated Big Damn Hero, but she can do good from this position.

44. The Well and the Lighthouse - Arcade Fire The Alpha Relay Incident

“I'm serving time All for a crime I did commit You want the truth? You know I'd do it all again“

These opening lines I feel capture the Alpha Relay Incident really well, and how Shepard did what they HAD to do there, and would do it again, but it still feels like shit. I always wished there was more choice on that mission, but also, having something like that happen without player agency is interesting. Shepard is at their most interesting, I think, in times where we DON’T have a say in what happens to them.

45. Reignite - Malukah Commander Shepard

“Crush my heart into embers, and I will reignite”

Is it cheating to use a Mass Effect fan song on my playlist? I certainly don’t think so, and this is the best Mass Effect fan song ever written.

THIRD MOVEMENT - MASS EFFECT 3

46. This Is War - Thirty Seconds to Mars Leaving Earth

“It's the moment of truth, and the moment to lie The moment to live and the moment to die The moment to fight, the moment to fight To fight, to fight, to fight “

It feels Too Easy to use this here but I’m gonna anyway. You’ve seen AMVs of this set to everything. It’s the ending song of DA:O. It’s the quintessential World At War song.

47. Battleborn - The Killers James Vega

“Up against the wall There's something dying on the street When they knock you down You're gonna get back on your feet”

James Vega is massively underrated and I will love him til I’m cold in the ground. Aro icon.

48. Handlebars - Flobots The Illusive Man

“I can hand out a million vaccinations Or let 'em all die of exasperation Have 'em all healed of their lacerations Have 'em all killed by assassination”

The way this song escalates fits TIM and Cerberus’s fall back into being Just Full On Evil really well. Perfect song for a power trip.

49. Here I Dreamt I Was An Architect - The Decemberists The Virmire Survivor

“And I am nothing of a builder But here I dreamt I was an architect And I built this balustrade To keep you home, to keep you safe From the outside world”

I like this song for how the Virmire Survivor feels about their survivor’s guilt and also about Shepard. I honestly wish they were both more heavily utilized in ME2 and 3, but I realize it’s hard to write a ton of content for characters who just aren’t in half of all peoples’ playthrus.

50. Heaven Knows - The Pretty Reckless Grisson Academy

“One, two, three and four, the devil's knocking at your door Caught in the eye of a dead man's lie Show your life with your head held high“

This song is so perfect for Jack and her biotic kids that she’s one of the only returning characters that gets her own song on this playlist

51. The Great Fire - OK Go Javik

“But when the flames die down, and everything is gone, Will there be fire under the ashes still?”

Self explanatory. Javik is the fire remaining under the ashes.

52. Bring the Hammer Down - Paragon Priority: Tuchanka/Kalros

“ Hammer strikes the anvil A rage that breaks the chain Strikes down like a lightening In our ranks “

KALROOOOOS

53. Wake Up - Arcade Fire Curing The Genophage/Mordin Solus

“If the children don't grow up, Our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up. We're just a million little gods causin' rain storms, turnin' every good thing to Rust I guess we'll just have to adjust”

I just really love this song as an image of Mordin’s spirit looking out over Tuchanka as the genophage cure is dispersed, and watching over future generations. If you didn’t cure the genophage, how dare you. No song for you.

Anyway started tearing up listening to this one while writing the description don’t look at me

54. Ballad of a Politician - Regina Spektor Councillor Udina/Priority Citadel 2

“A man inside a room is shaking hands with other men This is how it happens/Our carefully laid plans”

traitor

55. Cyborgs vs. Robots - Ludo The Geth-Quarian War

“But your iron fist will never knock me down 'Cause I'm powered By a conscious right to conduct my life without fear.”

This is probably a bit silly for this awful war. But also. It does fit. You can’t tell me it doesn’t. Just save them both at the end and you can feel fine having some fun with it!

56. Artificial Heart - Jonathan Coulton The Geth

“It's not a real heart It is a real artificial heart”

Just a little fun with the Geth! This works best with Reaper Upgrades.

57. With A Little Help From My Friends - Joe Anderson, Jim Sturgess The Citadel DLC

“What do you see when you turn out the light? I can't tell you, but I know it's mine

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends”

I happen to prefer this version to any other because of how much fun it sounds like they’re having

58. Dark In Here - The Mountain Goats Priority: Earth

“Steal away at sundown, pick a place to hide Check for signs of ambush, hunker down inside Tired of running, tired of never standing still Hear them riding up the hill“

You know I had to get the Goats in here. Would it be a fan playlist if there wasn’t one?

59. Adieu - Yoko Kanno Leaving your Love Interest/Shepard and the Beam

“My love for you burns deep inside me / So strong Embers of times we had And now, here I stand / Lost in a memory I see your face, and smile”

...do I need to say more than that?

60. My Way (Minor Key) - Chase Holfelder The Indoctrination of The Illusive Man

“Regrets, I've had a few/But then again, too few to mention I did what I had to do/I saw it through, without exemption“

This cover takes this song from something I tolerate when I hear it to one of my FAVORITE songs. The frenzied way he sings the “through it all” verse is PEAK Indoctrinated TIM.

61. I’m Alive - Disturbed Refusal 

“There will never be a reason why I will surrender to your advice To change myself, I'd rather die/Though they will not understand”

Honestly I didn’t “get” the Refusal ending until I heard this song, then I was like, OH, I SEE IT ALL SO CLEARLY NOW. This is my favorite in-universe Shepard take on the Refusal ending. I always got it from the player’s perspective of being dissatisfied with the options, but this one puts it into the world for me. This is a Shepard who does not trust the Starchild. This is a Shepard that chooses to end things on their own terms rather than submit to their designs.

62. Machine - Regina Spektor Control 

“I collect my moments Into a correspondence With a mightier power Who just lacks my perspective And who lacks my organics And who covets my defects “

I used to have Adieu here, actually, because like Refusal, I didn’t used to GET the Control ending. Now, I do, in part thanks to hearing this song. I mean, just go look at the full lyrics. If this song hadn’t been written years before the end of Mass Effect 3, I’d swear it was a fan song for it.

63. Maybe Tomorrow - Yuki Kajiura Destroy 

“The moon is gone And the night is still so dark I'm a little bit afraid of tomorrow“

I’m a Destroy Ending person, I won’t lie. Full on “the starchild is a liar and my synthetic friends are FINE” indoctrination theory level destroy ending. But this song is not about that. It’s about the canonical destroy ending, and if you prefer a Shep that survives it, this song’s for you.

This song captures the exhaustion and melancholy of the end of a long journey so well. Shepard is afraid of what comes next, the collateral damage resulting from their actions. But they know that, at least, it’s over now. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

64. Waiting For the End - Linkin Park Synthesis

“ I know what it takes to move on I know how it feels to lie All I wanna do is trade this life for something new Holding on to what I haven't got”

This is one of my favorite songs of all time. The hardest part of ending is starting again. Oof. Gets me every single time. Shepard finding the resolve to sacrifice themself for the hope of something better, of things not going how they planned, ever, of learning to make peace with that and the people who loved them learning to carry on without them? OOF.

65. Shine - Vienna Teng Epilogue

“Shine with all the untold Hold the light given unto you Find the love to unfold In this broken world we choose“

Vienna Teng is a master of capturing life’s softer emotions, and this fits perfectly with the epilogue scene for me. Tell me again about the Shepard.

“Find the love to unfold in this broken world we choose” has to be one of the greatest lines about the human experience ever written.

[desiraypark]

Love in Writing [Prologue]

Series Summary: Friends since childhood and sweethearts since adolescence, Finn and Darla are now of age to court and eventually marry. But when Finn is away in the army, his “brother” and frenemy, Ben, snatches their chance at matrimony away.  Main Characters: Darling “Darla” Teven (Daughter of Dekari and Amala Teven) (Blk/F) Finn Okani (Son of the late Jace and Callila Okani) Ben Skywalker Solo (His Grace, the Young Prince) Setting: - Country of Alderaan - Not space - In a world comparable to the Western hemisphere of the Earth (but not Earth lol) - Starts in a time comparable to the early 1910s Disclaimer: Though set in a “historical” period, this series won’t be completely historically accurate. The series is more so “inspired” by the Western culture of the early 20th century, but much of the content is the result of my re-imagining and re-envisioning the era(s).  Categories: Angst - Drama - Fluff - Historical - Romance - Scandal - Smut  Content Warnings: Arranged Marriage - Backstabbing - Conniving - Deceit - Degradation - Infidelity

Though the original character will be forced into a marriage, I intend to avoid putting any non-con into this series.

(Prologue after break) 

The Debut Ceremony

My Dearest Finn,

My Love, I wish the contents of this letter were pleasant. The most horrific thing has happened. Ben has asked my parents’ permission to court me and they said “yes”! I am mortified. I miss you my Love and wish you were here to fight this with me. My parents said that they think you are a splendid young man and they adore you. But of course, a union within the royal family would be more beneficial to the Teven family. I can’t understand why Ben would do this. Surely, he knows that we’ve been in love since we were in secondary school. I know that you’ve shared your affections for me with him. Yes, I remember you telling me that he may harbor some resentment toward you, but I did not believe it was this strong. Princess Leia asked me if I was sure I wanted to court Ben. I’m sure that she, too, is aware of our affection for each other. But my parents burned into me with a mighty glare, striking the fear of the Maker into me. I said “yes”. But as you know, Princess Leia isn’t the final decision-maker. King Luke also sees benefit in a Skywalker-Solo-Teven union. My sweet Finn. I am sorry that I have to share this news with you in a letter. Please say a prayer for me, as I will continue to pray for you. But now, I fear that I pray for an end to this undesirable union in a not-so-pleasant way. I love you, Finn. And only you. Always.

Sincerely, Your Darling ____________________ THREE EVENINGS BEFORE

“Ladies and gentlemen, the highlight of our evening begins…”

“Ready to make ourselves available for sanctified deflowering, ladies?” Rey asked. Jenaveve pinched her daughter’s bare shoulder.

“Twelve gorgeous young ladies are ready to make their debut as women among King Luke Skywalker, his Royal Family, esteemed guests, and twelve Alderaan’s finest young men. Here they are…”

A violin played.

“First out, Estela Becall, daughter of Trevin Becall, escorted by her mother, Lumina Becall…”

The announcer--Prime Minister Tico, called the names of the remaining eleven young ladies, including his granddaughter, Rose. She was Rose Tico, daughter of Issak, escorted by her mother, Belle. Isaak Tico was a Navy general who wanted little to do with politics and the frills of the aristocracy. He was intent on letting his daughters, Rose and Paige, live relatively normal lives--but he wasn’t always able to escape the golden claws of his esteemed father. Rose took it all in stride. She was a perfect combination of her male descendants: fiercely independent like her father and boldly persuasive like her grandfather. And she was a humanitarian like her mother--dedicated to remaining on the right side of history. Now, here she was following Alderaan aristocrat tradition--her hair pinned up and body adorned in minimal jewels and a gown of Skywalker blue. 

Jannah Itanni--fourth in the debut line. She was the granddaughter of York Itanni I - the world-famous inventor and engineer, and daughter of his son, York Itanni, II. Jannah was very much like her father--an explorer at heart. Curious. Always ready for a new adventure. She didn’t hate the debut ceremony--in fact, she hoped to catch the eye of a young pilot who could teach her to fly--but she hated the rules and the consequences of unfollowed rules. So many unnecessary things, if you asked her. Rose and Jannah went to school with Rey Jakkan and Darling Teven. Rey was the youngest daughter of Markus Jakkan and Jenaveev Olvair-Jakkan (daughter of oil tycoon, Cyrus Olvair). She and Jannah were best friends. Whenever one was in trouble, the other one usually was, too. They often snuck out of their homes to meet each other. How they were able to do it so often without being caught, no one ever knew. Like Jannah, she hated all the rules and protocol of the debut ceremony--but unlike Jannah, who kept her complaints to low mumbles, Rey fought and protested the entire way. Ninth in the line (and alphabetically in front of Rose) was Darling Teven. Yes, Darling is her real name. But everyone (except her mother) called her “Darla”. Darla was the daughter of Dekari and Amala Teven--and granddaughter of Jahani Teven. Her grandfather was the founder and CEO of Eastland Preserves, one of the biggest dried foods manufacturers in Alderaan. Eastland Preserves also had storefronts in five of Alderaan’s major cities. 

Darla was just as mischievous as Rey and Jannah, but she did an excellent job of hiding her capers and quieting her quips. Always relaxed and easygoing, she knew when to play with the fire and knew when to step away. Naturally, Rose Tico was her best friend.

Twelve single young men stood in line to greet the young women with bows, kisses to hand, and hellos. If they didn’t know their names, they asked - but there were probably only two young ladies who were strangers to the Skywalker castle. For many of these young men and women had roamed the marble halls and plush grounds as children--passing the hours with boundless fun as their parents talked business, politics, or simple social affairs with King Anakin and Queen Padme, and for five years now, King Luke. Additionally, many of them attended the same prestigious academy. The young men traditionally lined up by titles and importance - royals first, the children of politicians second, and esteemed citizens (like businessmen’s sons) after. One by one, they chose their first dance. First in line was Prince Ben Skywalker-Solo - son of Princess Leia and Prince Han Solo, nephew of King Luke. This was his third time attending the annual debut ceremony. For it was no secret that the carefree young man wasn’t interested in a wife, but his parents forced him to participate. To at least look like he was trying to be an honorable man.

“Darling,” Ben said when he reached the Teven family’s only daughter. He bowed and kissed her hand, and she raised an eyebrow at him. The chandelier seemed to illuminate her and only her. She was always lovely, but the night’s air and the room’s airs made her radiant. “Benjamin,” she responded. He noticed Rose biting down a chuckle. “Ben is my full name, Darla.” “I know.” He smirked and walked to Rose. When greetings were done, Ben chose Rey to dance with first. He knew that she hated the entire affair and only wanted to antagonize her for it. Then, there was Darla--his final dance partner. Unofficial sweetheart to his unofficial brother.

“Darling Teven,” Ben said, as he took her hand. The second dreadfully long song of the evening began, and the two bowed and curtsied, and pranced into their waltz. “Why do you keep calling me that?” Darla asked. “Is your name not Darling?” “You have never called me Darling, Ben.” “Ben?” he asked, looking into her eyes. “Your Grace, you mean.” “You would love for me to call you that, wouldn’t you?” “I would. Just like I enjoy calling you Darling.” “All of a sudden...” Darla mumbled. Ben grunted and looked over Darling’s head. It required little effort--for he towered over everyone on the dance floor. “How is Finn? Do you still write him?” he asked. He met her eyes again. Darla was slightly annoyed by the question. She didn’t quite know why. There seemed to be a tinge of intrusiveness to it. He knew good and well that nothing could stop them from writing each other. “Of course I do. He is well. Ready for his advanced training soon,” she answered with a proud smile. “You don’t write him?” Ben shrugged. “He writes to his uncle. His uncle passes the messages on.” Darla nodded and they danced in brief silence. “So, how does it feel to be a woman?” he asked. She shrugged. “I feel no different.” “Oh. So I must give Finn some lessons.” Darla’s eyebrows scrunched together. “What are you talking about?” “Oh, you know. Sweet little harlot,” he said. Darla blinked in shock. “What did you call me?!” she growled. “Shh. Not in front of the guests, Darling,” he said with a grin. “Your secret is safe with me.” Darla huffed and suddenly began to sweat.

“Finn didn’t tell me, by the way,” Ben continued. “I knew when he left for the base. The way you two looked at each other at the station. The way he walked like he’d drank ten coca drinks. Where did you two go? His uncle’s barn?” "That’s none of your fucking business,” she said between clenched teeth.  Ben shook his head. “Language, little one. Language...” “Oh, shove it up your ass, Ben,” she whispered. He just laughed. “But you’re right. It’s none of my business,” he said. “It’s just such a shame that the Darling of Alderaan didn’t get her beautiful cherry popped by a man with more experience.” “You’re disgusting,” Darla hissed. “And I wouldn’t want my cherry popped by a worn out and used utensil, anyway.” Ben threw his head back to laugh this time. He looked back down at her. “Used? Yes. Worn out? Not even close. Darling.” Darla rolled her eyes. “When will this song end?” Ben glanced over the dance floor and ignored the pained and impatient expressions on his peers’ faces. “We can change partners at this point.” “Thank the Maker.” “I have to initiate the switch. Me being the more important bachelor and all,” he said. “Well. Initiate!” Ben bit down on his bottom lip. Dimples pressed into his cheeks. He kept waltzing with Darla. “You’re a torturer,” she said. “And Finn would kill you if he saw what you were doing right now.” Ben didn’t say anything. He just stared into Darla’s eyes. “Why are you doing this?” she asked.  “Finn isn’t the only person who thinks you’re beautiful, Darla.” Chills went down Darla’s spine. She swallowed. His confession was sweet but dripped with a sinister elixir. Surely, these feelings of his were new. If they were even genuine. “That’s kind of you, Ben. But Finn is the only man whose affections I desire.” Ben smiled. Then, his eyebrows knitted together. He nodded.

“We’ll see.” ____________________ Let me know in the comments if you want to be tagged in “Love in Writing”!

[rafe-cameron]

THE ANALYSIS OF JOHN B ROUTLEDGE

In the fandom, what I've seen is a lot of what I feel is misinterpretation of John B's character, which is leading to a lot of unnecessary slander, and overall a negative vibe surrounding John B, and giving a negative wave of backlash to those who do like his character. I am all for positive emotions, and supporting and liking and disliking whatever characters you'd like! Though, I would like to put this out here just as a way of explaining what I've seen in his character. This is not a professional opinion by any means, but I do have a habit and (ringing my own bell) talent in analyzing different characters from an unbiased point of view.

DISCLAIMER: All of this is not fact, but a closely analyzed opinion. You are free to disagree and I genuinely do not care if you don't like John B! I wrote this because I wanted to and feel it could help. And this is written FOR JOHN B. Don't hit me with comments of “but JJ also” or “but Kie didn't MEAN to” or anything, because I am not writing about them. I’m writing this one for John B, about John B, and how someone would view life through his eyes and with everything that happened.

Now, onto the analysis.

Episode 1:

John B has a wave of issues being presented in not-so friendly forms. A 16 year old is living alone, considering his father has been missing for 9 months. Looking at it that way, he's had to finish his school year while juggling constant jobs to take care to himself, for food, gas, and paying bills, on top of school. Even if it's revealed he missed a lot of school that year, it's hard to blame him. His mom left him when he was still a baby, His uncle by definition also abandoned him, and his father is gone. He's threatened with foster care daily, which means he would lose everything that he has, his home, and his friends, which are the only thing keeping his head above water.

That alone is enough to give him intense abandonment issues. Both parental figures left, his guardian is as he described it “MIA”, so his ability to process how people see him and how he sees relationships is going to be, at best, rocky. He's going to have it in his head that everyone around him can leave at any time and he won't have any sort of say in it. Not to mention the depression and the anxiety that would bubble up from all of this. Depression makes you lash out, anxiety makes you pull away, two things he's shown to have trouble controlling.

He gets an idea for a way to try and make his life better, and get money to support himself, JJ being the one to hype that up despite Kie and Pope being against it.

Come the party later that night at the boneyard. A widespread party with lots of people there, lots of drinking, and comes the fight between Topper and JJ, which led to John B stepping in to protect JJ.

This is the first of many times where John B is almost murdered or killed. Hearing Topper yells “dont make me drown you like your old man”, then being drowned by him, while everyone stood and watched until JJ went off his shits and saved him.

This? Is all just the first episode. A peek into the curtain of how his family abandoned him, then he gets his shit beaten in, and he gets drowned by Topper. This would only worsen his already fragile mental state. At this point, he's ready to call it off, and leave it alone, but JJ gets desperate to help his friend and himself, and he goes along with it. This leads to, again, him getting shot at by the two guys hunting down the compass he stole off the boat. The second time John B is almost killed.

“With no parents, no money, and no one looking out for me, I've got no chance, unless I make it on my own.”

He sees no way out of the hole he's in anymore unless he fights tooth and nail to get out of it, no matter what it takes.

Episode 2:

In this episode, he's got it in his head now that since he found a compass on a wrecked boat, that his dad is trying to reach out to him. When you have abandonment issues as deep-running as John B, any possible chance that someone who left already is trying to come back? You run with it. You cling to it like it is all you have, and for him, it is. This compass is all that he has to go on, and he's desperate to try and figure it out because this is his fathers last way of communicating with him.

He goes to Ms. Lana's house, and has to both watch and listen to two men terrorize her, and he is told vaguely by Ms. Lana that it is horrible that he has the compass. He returns home to talk to his friends, and goes to his dads office for the first time in a long time, and has to relive the fact his fathers gone at that point.

Only for the two guys to come to John B's house. They break in and completely ransack the place, they steal a good chunk of John B's fathers stuff. They have to sneak out of the window and go to hide until the two men leave, but, he has to sit and watch these people break apart his home and steal from him.

After all of that, they go to the lighthouse, where he's thrown into another panic over this compass that no one is telling him about. He's frustrated, and he's scared. They leave the lighthouse and in a complete blind instinct of adrenaline, he kisses Kie, and gets rejected by her. Then, he gets arrested, questioned, and has to get bailed out by Kie's dad, who insults him. Now Kie won't talk to him, and he has to go home to his damaged house.

He also has to get fired from hi only stable job, so now he has no money and no job, a damaged home, and lost a friend for now.

Not only that, but he does get hunted down by those two men again, and is almost killed for thr 3rd time, and runs through an electric fence, where he's almost killed the 4th time. He gives up his fathers compass, and while ull of hurt and despair for everything, returns home to try and move past everything, but he catches another glimpse of possibility, and he clings to it all over again.

And, his urge and crave to hunt down his dad only grows as they find the Redfield tomb thingy and find the package left behind by Big John.

Episode 3:

It starts off with John B having to sit through the emotion that comes with hearing his fathers voice for the first time in 9 months. The pain and the confusion and how much he missed him rushing back, it's a feeling that is hard to describe, but it is draining, and it doesn't feel good.

He talks to everyone about how he just wants to have a normal life, and stop stressing so much about damn near everything.

He's decently up in this episode, but his actions only worsen. He encourages stealing, and puts himself into risky situations. This is the bud of the suicidal/reckless tendencies he starts to develop as he starts to lose regard for his own safety, because subconsciously, he sees no point in caring about what happens to himself and those around him. This is where he gets desperate for a reason to keep existing, because he lost every other one that he had.

Episode 4:

In this episode, they find the merchant. They track it down and find it's empty, but John B isn't ready to give up.

He gets met, unfortunately, with DCS, who force him to pack, and start to take him away. In an attempt to not leave behind anything? He jumps from a moving vehicle, and is now being hunted down for the first time.

He's taken in by Sarah.

DISCLAIMER: OPINION.

This is where we see Sarah see that things with John B aren't cookie cutter. She knows hes plotting something, and she wants to get away from her Kook life and do something different and exciting. So, she tags along for the ride. Her and John B go out and Sarah puts John B into a situation where he is being led on by her, despite her being in a relationship. But, her desperation to break from her box gets the best of her, and John B clings to that romance, because a romantic relationship has a more solid foundation than a friendship to him. They're less likely to leave him. So, he wants to run with it.

This is a huge part of why he kissed Kie. In his eyes, if he's dating them, maybe they wont leave, but he can't have that same situation with just a friend. He knows that, and this is where he starts to push away his friends. Bite before you can get bitten, it's depression + abandonment issues 101.

Episode 5:

This one is.. a mess. Its a mess.

We start right off the bat with John B realizing that he can't go home anymore. JJ and John B get into a pretty nasty argument. JJ is concerned for his friend, and he wants him to be safe and stop all of this, naturally, but to John B? He hears JJ trying to give him on him, to abandon him, and to leave all of this. He reacts to this by lashing out at him, yelling at him, and talking about how he just wants to stop because he got beat up. Which, John B is still under the assumption it was just the Kooks, when it was both the Kooks and his father – something John B didn't catch onto. After they yell at eachother, John B has JJ following him again. It's a safe zone once more in John B's mind.

Then, after the party is crashed and they all meet up, John B tries to explain that Sarah got wrapped up into all of this. He has Kie, Pope, and even if JJ knew already, he's not too happy about it either. So he's got everyone mad at him for this, and even if spirits are high in terms of his recklessly driven hunt, he sees everyone around him getting angrier, and angrier. And that? Is making him angry too.

He goes to meet Sarah at the hawks nest. And once again, he is almost killed. He's shoved off of it by none other than Topper (who has tried to murder him twice now), and plummets, and ends up in the hospital.

But things can start to turn around, because Ward took him in and he has a legal guardian now, right?

No.

Ward is plotting to keep John B under his nose to make sure he doesn't find anything else out.

Episode 6:

Again, not much happens here. Things seem to be going good and despite Wards want for John B laying low, he doesn't. He finds the gold.

Episode 7:

Here, we  have another instance in which JJ's bad ideas get John B (and everyone) put into danger. After trying to pawn off the gold, they get stopped by Barry, who threatens to kill him and robs them. John B is quick to jump into the line of fire and get the gold back, desperate to keep it. He succeeds, but JJ barrels into Barrys house and robs him. JJ manhandles John B a good few times for trying to stop him.

And nearing the end of this, he's told by Ward that Ward knows about the gold, and wants John B to give it all up.

John B says no. He's gotten this far and can't lose it all to Ward. Not only that? But he finds out Ward had something to do with his father disappearing. That sort of news is heartbreaking. John B snaps just a little more, but so does Ward.

Episode 8:

John B and ward get into it. Ward is messy and doesn't hesitate to try and kill John B while they're on the boat. Again, for the 7th time, John B is almost killed, but escapes it just in time to keep going.

He goes to Lana, who explains that Ward was the one who killed his father. He finds out now that the man he trusted and the man that took him in both wanted to steal from him, and murdered his only parent? That's too much to carry for any one person.

Ward tells authorities John B tried to kill him, and he's being hunted down even more than he was before.

He sees now that again, all of his friends are both worried and angry with him. He's panicking at this point. He's stuck on the run and can't seem to catch a break, more so now that Ward figured out where the gold is, and sees him trying to leave with it.

Episode 9:

John B now is framed for the murder of Peterkin. He's almost killed by Rafe at the runway, and is now on the run again. He's facing major charges and none of them are of things he actually ever did.

John B has no choice but to run away from the OBX, from the US< and try and figure out what to do with himself from there.

He's almost killed by Rafe, again, because he set the bell tower ablaze.

But he manages to escape long enough so everyone can put together the pieces of his escape plan.

Episode 10:

He leaves. He leaves with Sarah on the boat, but of course, power has to go back on, and they lose their cover. They're both hunted down, chased out to sea, and is considered dead because of the storm. He survives again, but just by the skin of his teeth.

Looking back on everything that happened to  him just in these episodes, on top of knowing he had to deal with his father being gone for months without a clue of how to take care of himself, plus the fact he's now headed for his gold without anything but one bar and the clothes on his back?

John B quite literally lost everything. He lost his family, his home, his friends, his job, everything that kept his head above water, yet, he's expected to be the strong one, and the leader of the group.

He has expectations that he cant meet, and he's getting the wrong kind of help for his issues. Depression, anxiety, trust issues, abandonment issues, and I wouldn't be surprised if various forms of PTSD stemmed from everything that's happened to him. In no way is John B a perfect person. He is a flawed and complex character, who made poor choices, and acted out in bad ways, but, the entire gang is guilty of doing some bad things too.

JJ's aggression and lack of impulse control.

Pope's passive aggression and constant cold shoulder to not getting what he wants.

Kie's hostility and lack of self restraint.

Topper's sexism and abusiveness.

Rafe's drug abuse and abusiveness.

Again, you are so more than welcome to dislike and like whatever characters you want! Though, I hope this point of view can help clear up some of the thing's ive seen on John B being irredeemable and a bad friend to everyone.

John B is a wonderfully written, intense, lovable character, and I wanted to share my thoughts on him, his trauma, and his life! If anyone wants to see more deep character analysis', don't be afraid to request them! I enjoy doing them!

- jv

[shewillreadyou]

Becoming: Chapter 11- A woman’s worth

As always. I hope that you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing.

A/N: Will Karis break under Madeleine’s pressure?

Disclaimers: All characters are property of Pixelberry

Warnings: Language, sexual content, tw character death

Catch up: Becoming

Word Count:2638

Pairings: Liam x MC (Karis Vasquez

Song inspiration: A woman’s worth- Alicia Keys

Be Kind: Hit the heart button, leave a comment or reblog. It makes a writer so so happy.​

“Excuse me, may I have this dance?”

“Raymond, wow of course, well if it’s okay with you Liam?”

Liam smiles but it does not reach his eyes.

“Of course. I’ll catch up with you soon,” he says as he heads towards Rashad.

On the dance floor

“Karis, you look…damn.”

She blushes furiously but her blush quickly fades.

“Raymond, you look great too. But what are you doing here?”

Raymond looks around to see who is within earshot. He pulls her close and speaks in a low voice in her ear as Liam eyes him from across the room.

“Are you ok? Just squeeze me if you are not. I got a phone call from some chick named–”

“Let me guess, Madeleine?”

“Yeah, she wants you out of the way. She asked me what was going on between the two of us. I told her that we were colleagues. She insisted that I come here tonight as her plus one and talk you into going back with me. I was about to hang up the phone on her when I realized that you might be in danger.”

“Really? You are just as bad as Liam? You flew here to save me? Well thank you but I’m fine, really.”

“Kar, these people don’t want you here. They were willing to fly me here, on the off chance that I could talk you into leaving. Is this really the life that you want? Come back to Paris with me. You can finish school, go to law school and come work at the firm. You don’t have to have drama for the sake of love. Come back with me tomorrow, I can’t offer you a palace but once your internship is up my flat is yours.”

“Raymond, you’re sweet. Clueless but sweet. I don’t care about living in a palace, or whether Madeleine wants me here or if my relationship looks like drama to you. All I want, all I ever wanted was Liam. So, I’m sorry you wasted your time coming here, but if you would do me a favor, go tell Maddie, that she can go to hell.”

At the head table

Liam approaches Rashad with fire in his eyes. “I want answers. Why is he here?”

“Why is who here, Li?”

“Raymond Perry!”

“You mean Madeleine’s plus one? I have no idea? Do you know him?”

“Yeah, we’ve met. He’s Karis’ co worker.”

“Wait, he’s that Raymond? And you let him dance with her?”

“Yes, because I didn’t want to cause a scene and I trust her.”

Karis saunters up to Liam, her expression is unreadable.

“Rashad, Russell, thank you both so much for your hospitality. This has all been lovely. I look forward to seeing you both soon. Liam, a word?” she said calmly.

“Sure angel.”

“Can we go now? I can not be sure I won’t embarrass you if I run into Madeleine.”

“Absolutely. I’ll say a few goodbye’s.” He makes the rounds and instructs his guard to escort Karis to the car.”

While she is waiting for Adonis, the door to the car opens and Madeleine gets in and closes the door.

“Madeleine.” Karis never even looks at her.

“You know Karis, I have tried being nice to you. I even flew your little boyfriend here to talk some sense into you to no avail. There is no reasoning with you. What would Liam think if his little miss perfect was caught in a compromising position with her boyfriend?”

“Oh, you think i’m perfect? Liam knows better. Besides, I have never been in a compromising position with Raymond or anyone else for that matter. And you know Madeleine, I could say the same for you. You are impossible. No wonder Leo left you for some random girl he met on a cruise. You want Liam?” She turned to stare at her with an icy gaze.

“Take him from me.”

Just then there is a knock on the window. Madeleine opened the door to find a livid Olivia standing in the breezy night.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing Maddie? Liam is going to flip his shit. Is this what you think is going to win him over? What did you do, threaten her? Give it up. She isn’t afraid of you?”

She pulls Madeleine out of the car by her arm and the two of them head back into the estate arguing quietly. Moments later Liam joins her and they head back to his apartment. The moment the car starts to move Liam reaches for her hand and she begins to sob uncontrollably.

“Whoa, Karis. What’s this about?” He slid closer to her on the seat and wrapped his arms around her as she sobbed on his chest.

She was so overwhelmed with emotion she could not get out a coherent sentence. When they arrived a short time later at his apartment, he held her close carrying a great deal of her body weight as they entered the elevator. When they made it inside, he helped her settle on the couch and got her a box of tissues and a glass of water.

He sat next to her rubbing soothing circles on her back. When she was finally calm enough to speak, she took several cleansing breaths and turned to Liam.

“I didn’t come to Cordonia to be arrested for murder. Keep Madeleine away from me Adonis.”

“What did she do? Is this about Raymond?”

“No, it’s about you. It’s about the crown. She is relentless. Raymond was just a pawn. She doesn’t have an issue with me, outside of I am in her way. She sent for him thinking that he could talk me into leaving tonight with him and when that didn’t work, she threatened to blackmail me.”

Liam’s mouth falls open, he wipes her tears.

“I’m so sorry. This is all my fault. I will handle it. Promise.”

He kissed her lips sweetly and they settled into a comfortable silence.

“So, it’s still early. What else did you have planned for tonight?”

“It’s funny that you asked. I’ll be right back.”

Liam disappears onto the terrace and is gone a few minutes before he comes strolling casually back into the living area with a devilish smirk on his face.

“What are you up to?”

“Oh, nothing dear.”

“You’re lying, but ok. Have you checked on your Dad today?”

“Yes, he is stable. But they still aren’t releasing him.”

“I was thinking we should get up early tomorrow and go see him. Maybe take him a decent cup of coffee and a heart healthy breakfast.”

Liam stares off in the distance, lost in thought.

“You have to forgive him, you know.”

“Huh?” Her words snatch him from his reverie.

“Not for him. For you.”

He nodded his head, still not focused on her.

“Earth to Adonis!”

“I’m here. I’ve never had anyone I’ve wanted so badly to please.”

“Most people want to please their parents.”

“Not him.” he finally focuses, looking at her with adoration.

She looks confused.

“You.”

“Me?” she looks puzzled.

“Yes, you. Have I told you how incredible you are today?”

“Nah, but i’m listening.”

“After the day you’ve had, you’re still thinking about me.”

“Of course I am.”

“You are discerning, and sincere, and quick-witted, and courageous, and diligent, and capable,” he dotes on her as he peppers her neck with kisses. She squeals with a smile from ear to ear.

He picks her up, throwing her over his shoulder and smacks her ass.

“Where are we going?” she giggles.

“You’ll see. Patience my queen.”

When they stopped out on the terrace he sat her down they were met with a large hot tub with candles lit all around.

“Did you do this for me?”

“Yeah, I did. I wanted it to be romantic. Is it cheesy?”

“No, it’s sweet. But aren’t we a little over dressed?”

Before she could get the words out he had shrugged out of his suit coat and was reaching for the zipper of her dress. When it pooled at her ankles she stepped out of it and he held her hand helping her into the steamy water of the hot tub.

“OMG, it’s amazing!”

He looks at her and slowly takes his clothes off piece by piece until he is standing in only his boxer briefs.

“You know, It’s not nice to tease, your majesty.”

He joins her in the water and shivers as his body adjusted to the temperature. He sat on one of the underwater benches and pulled her on to his lap. She straddled him and he gazed into her eyes for what felt like an eternity. She poured them both a glass of champagne.

“What?”

“I was just thinking…What does love mean to you, Karis?”

“Love is…sacrifice, dedication, loyalty, compromising, and commitment.

“All important to making a relationship work.”

“What does it mean to you?”

“You know it’s funny. I never even gave it any real thought before I met you. I certainly wasn’t raised to have any expectation of romance in my life.”

“That’s funny coming from you. You are incredibly romantic.”

“You think so?”

“I do. Now, answer my question.”

“Hmm, love is patient, honest, kind, protecting, giving, thoughtful and trusting. I have never known love in this sense until I met you. I knew that  I loved you the morning I left your apartment back in New York for the airport.”

“Really? Day one?”

“Absolutely. You didn’t feel it?”

“I clearly felt a strong connection. I don’t think it was love. But it was something. That’s probably why I was so hurt.”

“When I found out what Madeleine did, I knew that her character was not one of a queen. Leo tried to warn me to keep an eye on her. Let me ask you this, when did you know?”

“I knew the moment I smelled your cologne in Paris. It was like every bit of logic went out the window.  My emotions came storming back in, like a flood. I was hurt. But longed for you, I craved you, I missed you.”

She tried to blink away the tears but, alas it was in vain.

‘No, no crying right now. We are being romantic.”

She smiled.

“That’s what I want to see. Let’s talk about something else. I know we briefly talked about it and you said that you wanted kids and I know my father mentioned it, but… How many kids do you think you want?” he asked as he sipped his champagne.

She takes a moment to consider her answer.

“I dunno, maybe 7 or 8,” she said casually.

He spit out his champagne.

“How many kids?”

She smirked. “Your father did say that heirs equal stability.

“Clearly you intend to be very stable.”

She takes his glass from his hand, and places both glasses carefully on the side of the hot tub. She turned to him and clasped her hands behind his neck.

“I don’t have a set number of children I want. I will be happy with whatever number of children we have.”

He breathed a sigh of relief and she kissed him sweetly.

“Does it freak you out at all that this time next year we could be married and expecting our first child?”

“Only slightly. Definitely not as much as I expected it to freak me out.”

He kisses her again. This time it was urgent and deep. His hands traced her curves and found the clasp to her bra. It plopped into the water and floated at the top as his mouth moved openly down her pulse line. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

His tongue teased her collarbone before he took her perky breast into his mouth. His tongue flicked her nipple while his hand gently massaged the other. The water lapped around them as she grinded on his lap. He lifted his hips and slid his boxers off freeing his hardened length. She took him in her hand stroking him as he groaned in pleasure.

He lifted her by the waist to stand on the bench. He pulled her black lace thong to the side as his mouth found her center. Her knees buckled and his strong arm circled her waist pulling her closer and supporting her at the same time. “Je veux seulement te plaire.”

“Adonis!” she screamed his name as she rubbed his bald head. When she was starting to come undone he pulled away with a smirk.

“You are teasing me again,” she said slightly shivering.

He pulled her back down into the warm water and wrapped his arms around her.

“I’m not teasing. I need to be inside of you,” he says as she straddles him again.

She reaches for him guiding him to her entrance. She took in a sharp breath as she stretched around him. Her eyes widened at the sensation.

“Go slow. We have all night.”

“Like I have a choice.”

“God, you feel incredible. It’s so tight.”

“You feel large.”

“Sorry.” He grinned sheepishly.

“Don’t be,” she said as she picked up the pace.

He lifted his hips, winding them slowly at first, then rolling them thrusting harder.

“Am I hurting you?”

“No.”

“Well, stop running from this dick.”

“Oh my god. Adonis, I can’t!” she moaned.

“Yes you can. Take it,” he said as he began thrusting like a jack hammer.

She wrapped her arms around him tightly and began contracting around him as she plunged up and down on his length.

“I’m, I’m soooo close. Give me every inch of you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, please love.”

“If you insist..”

Her once straight hair was now dark and curly from the way the water was splashing, just how he liked it.

He tangled his hands in her dark wet curls exposing her neck. He didn’t know if it was the way the moon was glowing against her caramel skin or the way the water beaded up as she bobbed up and down out of the water, but he couldn’t have been more turned on. He thrusted into her completely filling her. Her eyes went wide.

“Take it. Take this dick.”

She was sure she felt it in her stomach. After a few more powerful thrusts they fell over the edge together. He carried her bridal style to bed where slumber found them both quickly.

The next morning they arose early to visit with Constantine before they got their day started. Karis had made breakfast and snuck it into Constantine, in her purse. She also had a canteen full of his favorite dark roast coffee.  

“She is thoughtful, smart, beautiful, fearless and can cook. Keep this one Liam.”

“That’s the plan, father.”

“Thank you, sir. You flatter me. Adonis, I’m going to give you two sometime alone.”

A few moments later, Liam joins her in the waiting area where she is chatting with Kenyon, the guard charged with looking after her while she was visiting.

“What is it?”

“Nothing, nurse Emily is in with him. I told him I would come back when she was done. Karis, what do I say to him?” he asked, his eyes threatening to spill tears he had been holding a lifetime.

“Keep it simple. Tell him that you love him. That you forgive him and that you hope that you have made him proud. Remember, this is for you.”

She gives him a hug and whispers, “I’m so proud of you,” in his ear as she squeezes him tight, before he heads back in to chat with his father.

About thirty minutes later, Karis was sitting checking social media when there was an announcement on the intercom.

<Rapid Response Cardiac Unit Suite A, Rapid Response Cardiac Unit Suite A, Rapid Response Cardiac Unit Suite A.>

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