#and then ill binge read every fic i find interesting

[stinkykittypet]

I find it really funny how some people are incredibly rigid with what type of fanfiction they read, while others will read literally anything

[soft4gguk]

Okay... whew.

I've spent the past few nights reading "to build a home" and... just... I don't have words. I don't have the right words to say how MUCH Jungkook's growth meant and how it felt to see him go from a shell, emptied and hollowed out in an instant, to slowly finding his life, that emptiness being filled up by Y/N

The gap he was worried was going to fill Soori's life be filled and his baby (definitely Y/N's baby FOR SURE) to be loved and nurtured and cherished and cradled and given all the care and attention and tenderness and smooches to her CHEEKS that she shouldn't have been denied of for a second

And I wondered... at the beginning if Soori's crying fits, her inability to settle... her UNWILLINGNESS to lie alone in the cot was because all this time... for the first 9 months of her life she HAD felt put aside, had felt neglected in the sense she wasn't given the love or presence of her mum as much as she NEEDED it as a baby

That when Y/N fills that gap and truly raises Soori...Soori's ache and emptiness and lack of a mother figure gets filled... with someone who loves books, loves children and who loves HER with all her heart

THE FEELS.... the sheer amount of FEELS this fic took me through was unbelievable... my heart was full when Kook and hers was... my heart was empty and WEEPING...I WEPT RIGHT ALONGSIDE HER when she was feeling lost of her place in Kook's life and whether she meant enough to him when he was becoming... when HE HAD BECOME everything to her

THE TERROR and uncertainty and insecurities that Kook felt as a father who was just trying to be THERE and be ENOUGH for Soori plagued with doubts that he wasn't doing his best by her but slowly slowly... to where he got to in the latest update realising... maybe yeah... I do love my daughter and I know how to RAISE her and look after her... that I'm doing okay as a dad

BUT HIS PARENTS can go get FUCKED- Tae's absolutely right... they have no right or say in the life of a man nearing his 30s but I think he lets their voices of "reason" be an easy escape from confronting what he feels

BUT ON THE OTHER HAND WEIHWGIWGWIE WE HAVE JIMIN AND LUCY WHO ARE JUST THE SWEETEST LOVE STORY THAT BLOOMED AND STUCK STRONG AND JUST GROWS AND FLOURISHES and I FELT PAIN when Y/N saw Lucy slotting into their lives but not herself because she DOESNT KNOW KOOK LOVES HER OR NOT BUT BABY HE DOES.... MY HEART WENT OUT TO HER SO MUCH

Ngl... Kook wasn't the only one tearing up when Soori turned one because it was a real milestone moment for him as a father, her as a baby, Y/N as a mother figure cataloguing that moment for him on his polaroid but also BABY SOORI?!?!? STOP GROWING SO FAST MY HEART CANT TAKE IT

Like watching her grow as a baby just ACHES... my heart aches... and every chapter I felt sorely DENIED SOORI HUGS-- COS SHE'S A HUGGER AND SHE DESERVES ALL THE HUGS AND I WANT A SOORI HUG

I ALSO WANT Y/N TO STOP FEELING SO INSECURE AND CERTAIN SO JUNGKOOK STOP RUNNING AWAY FROM HER AND RUN TO HER... RUN TO HER AND HOLD HER AND TELL HER YOU LOVE HER... YOU FEEL IT, YOU THINK IT... NOW SAY IT TOO!! DGIWEHGHWEGEWGB

BUT THE ANGST WAS ANGSTING... THE ROMANCE WAS ROMANCING... THE SPICE WAS SPICING... THE FLUFF WAS FLUFFING AND I AM SO IN LOVE

Thank you for writing and sharing Soori and JK's story of parenthood, babyhood and for giving Y/N the growth as a person finding her feet and finding it's OKAY to not go headfirst into your planned out career and life... that this too is just SIGH EVERYTHING

I love love loved reading, loved binging, can't WAIT for more (is there a taglist I could be added to pleeeeease?) and to see their characters grow!

OH MY GOD. you have no idea how much this made me smile whilst I was in agony and sinking into my misery mid illness (im dramatic hehe). but this was such an amazing thing to share with anyone, let alone with me!! so first of all, THANK YOU. for being so interested in my writing and for sending so much love my way, I appreciate it more than you'll ever know.

I agree with you. I love seeing how much oc loves Soori too!! and how much affection she shows her, something jk was so worried she'd feel the absence of when it all first exploded. she truly did feel that gap and it makes my heart clench istg. I also agree with you in her restlessness deriving from the fact that she was needing that mother figure, as amazing of as a dad as jungkook is, and as much love as he gave her, she's just a little baby. looking for that love comes instinctively to her. and seeing how much better she got after oc came into her life makes me so happy 😩

and uuuuuugh I KNOW. I hate his parents. im actually dreading having to include them in the next chapter I have to write because I just find them insufferable lmao. but tae is such a good voice of reason, and such a good friend. I cannot emphasise enough how much I LOOOOVE writing him, and writing their little talks. of all of them love him so much and they show him such good guidance.

I LOVE JIMIN AND LUCY!!!! I beg, ask for more of them so I can write interludes about them 😭😭 they're so sweet. but no, yeah. I'm not gonna get into it because chapter fourteen has a lot of what you just said and im dyyyyying to see what you think because this ask felt so spot on, almost like you were reading what I was writing behind my back hehehe.

ALSO I KNOW. SOORI IS A HUGGER AND SHE IS GROWING WAY TOO FAST. it makes my heart ache but also im so proud of her she's the best baby ever istg!!!

I AM SO GLAD YOU ARE ENJOYING THE STORY SO MUCH AND THAT IT'S TICKLING ALL OF YOUR SPOTS!!! also, I love that you're taking such good life advice from oc's story, because you are sooo right. it is completely okay to not dive in headfirst into whatever your career choice dictates, or society. or your parents. follow your heart, because that's what she would do!!!

I love you, truly, from the bottom of my heart. I hope you enjoy the next chappie!!! do let me know <3333 kisses & hugs always.

[elysianslove]

hi sal !! you don’t have to answer if you don’t wanna !! but I’m a bit new to the haikyuu side of tumblr and was wondering if you had any writing blog recs? I came here for jujutsu kaisen & ended up falling in love with a whole bunch of Haikyuu characters 😭

hi lovely!! yes i do <33 i’ve put up this post that recommends my favorite fics and blogs on here (ofc there’s more since this was a while back) but here are a few more that i love!! please be mindful of their restrictions though!

@kissingsamus4head — josie’s a sweetheart and her writing?? immaculate. genuinely breathtaking work i’m soso happy to have found her blog. the way she just,,, words! amazing. i love every single work of hers she’s inspiring in every way, and all her pieces are beautifully written. in general she’s also just a wonderful person n im lucky to consider her a mutual <3

@introloves — oh my god okay so. i’ve always been so so scared to interact with them but i remember before starting my own blog i’d always read their works and it’s so, so fucking good. the way she writes is immaculate like heart-stopping breathtaking thighs clenching good. i always read her works either when i’m bored or i want inspiration. and also she seems so so sweet and kind!! i’ve never interacted (like i said, way too scared) but i’ve seen the way she talks to her anons and it’s so lovely!!

@dilfhub — mabel <33333 writing is out of this world <3333 but she writes mostly dark content and it may be triggering for some people so if some stuff isn’t for you just stay away. if it’s okay with you though and it interests you, then go read her work. she‘s incredible oh my god. and her creativity like her mind???? out of this world. wow.

@pinkchanelbag — literal poetry. nia’s works are so wowowow!!!!!!! their angst is just :(((( it hurts. so bad that it’s so good. genuinely just the way everything’s written is always so mindblowing-ly beautiful i’m obsessed. also there’s jjk and aot works on this blog too!!! just the best of every world really. nia’s funny and talented and sweet and GORGEOUS TOO <333 heart eyes <333

@yaku-soba — omg i found her blog like a couple of days ago and i’ve just been binge reading her works, especially the angst. it was like finding a diamond in the mines. her works, no matter what kind or type, make my heart like clench in my chest. it’s genuinely so like emotion invoking. she just,,,, makes me feel things yk. a lot of things. i’d definitely recommend checking out her stuff!!

@secondhand-trash — HER ATSUMU WORKS SHEBDJX. i’ve also just recently discovered this blog and i’ve been binging all the works on it. it’s like the type of writing that gets you hooked so quick. it’s also so? idk the word for it but? enticing maybe? like it makes you feel the same you you’d feel reading domestic established relationship fanfiction. it’s like easy and relaxed and smooth writing. flows amazingly and develops incredibly.

@atsumuse — omg omgomg their writing is like. breathtaking. i feel like i’m astral projecting when i read their works. genuinely some of my favorite ever pieces are written by this blogger. like it’s not just good because they’re writing exactly what you wanna read, but it’s also good because they’re writing it exceptionally well.

@sunaluvs — ofc shay the loveliest <333 another poetic writer. she’s busy rn but she’s coming back soon and i’m so excited for it cause her works are wowowow. also she reblogs a lot of amazing content too, so you’ll always be exposed to some good stuff with her. but her works are just incredible. but yes 100% unbiased recommendation her work is mindblowing. (she has a sideblog for jjk too)

@oikadori — this list would be incomplete without my beloved lyra <3 ah i love her content. SHE HAS ART TOO AND LIKE ?? wow leave some talent for the rest of us??? i love her so much and she has amazing stuff on her page. her writing is just chefs kiss and i just definitely her blog altogether. kisses to you my lyra <3

okay i couldn’t find more but i’m pretty sure i had more blogs saved and followed :( if i find them ill be sure to put them out for you babe. but yeah this list + the list in the post i linked are some of the best writers/works i’ve seen on this app <3 hope this helped, mwah <3

[winchest09]

The Bunker Party - Debrief

Hey everyone!

Our bunker party was an absolute blast. It was one filled with laughter, smiles and support and it warms my heart to see so many of your faces each time we do this. This party went in many different ways from fanfiction to urban dictionary - to seeing some of the SPN family’s best dance moves. It was a TREAT. 

6 and a half hours we were talking…SIX AND A HALF and again, I loved every single second. It was so nice to see so many gorgeous faces, and I’m so happy that so many of you joined us! The support from you guys for each other, the love in this fandom; I can’t express how much I adore it.

Me and @katehuntington​​​​ love holding these events and we are already planning the next live stream (date to be announced) but it will be in July. 

This is the lowdown for the The Bunker Party! Sorry it’s a little late, I’ve been ill! 

Below you will find:

Everyone who joined - their tags, what’s coming up fic wise and their masterlist.

A Challenge to join 

Blogs who want to help with your writing

Alpha? Beta? Omega?

Want a link breaker?

Fic & blog recs

Announcements

So without further ado… *cracks fingers*

To everyone that joined…

You are the guys that make it the live stream what it is.  So below is a list of everyone who was on the chat last night accompanied by their masterlist and what they have coming up soon! In no particular order…

@katehuntington​​​: Kate is currently working on the next instalment of Ride With Me and All I Want. She’s been teasing us with little ideas that keep popping into her head too...

Her masterlist can be found HERE

@flamencodiva​​​: This babe is currently working on a multitude of things and we are super excited to see them come out. We have her brand new fiction ‘What could have been’ as well as Call of the Ocean and many others! 

Check out her masterlist HERE

@whatareyousearchingfordean​​​: Alex is currently writing the epilogue to her Jensen fiction Et Cetera AND she has decided her next fiction!

Firefighter Dean x OFC Marina. From what we’ve already heard…it sounds amazing! I won’t give away any plot points that we were told just yet but it’s one to be put on your watch list! 

Her masterlist can be found HERE

@superfanficnatural​​​:  This babe is currently working on the next chapters of The Bringer of balance as well as the next chapters of The Choice! Also still thinking about his knight of hell x demon dean fic which just sounds so good.

We’re living for it!

Go and give him some love, his masterlist can be found HERE

@emoryhemsworth​​​: This beaut has broken her lil hiatus and posted the sequel to Because of You. Piece by Piece is amazing and if you haven’t read it yet, i suggest you check it out. She’s also writing her first chapter of her series idea. 

Check our her masterlist HERE:

@malfoysqueen14​​​: This lovely lady is new to the Supernatural fandom and is trying her hand at writing fanfiction! Her first fic “White Flag” is Dean x OFC and it’s going in a very interesting direction! Worth a read!

She hasn’t yet got a masterlist but you can check out White Flag HERE

@waywardbeanie​​: This absolute gem of a woman has JUST posted her very first fanfiction and it’s an absolute DIAMOND. Dean. Letters. Fluff. Smut. It’s gonna tick all them boxes and it’s a must read!

You can find her masterlist HERE

@janicho88​​: This lovely lady has written some lovely stories already and has a few things on her list that are definitely worth a read! 

You can find her masterlist HERE

@soaringeag1e​​: This lovely lady has a lovely full masterlist of things for you to dig your teeth into! There are series, oneshots for Jensen, Dean, Jared, Sam, Misha, Castiel...

You can find her masterlist HERE

@smol-and-grumpy​​: Nat has such a juicy masterlist. We were thrilled she joined us on the chat. From Dear Dean to Light My Fire, you will find series that will make you smile, make you cry and will make you want to cool yourself down because they are that smuttastic. 

You can find her masterlist HERE

@manawhaat​​: This babe joined us for the first time this time and we loved having her! Below you can find her humongous masterlist of goodies for your reading pleasure. Her most recent works being an A/B/O oneshot called “Howl”

You can find her masterlist HERE

@crashdevlin​​: Another lovely new face this time to our chat and we are all enjoyed having you there! This babe is another writer with a very large expanding fic list. If you haven’t read any of her work yet, hop on to it! 

You can find her masterlist HERE

@jensengirl83​​: She is new to the chat this week and new to the spn world of writing. Yet she’s already got a few fics under her belt! Fancy checking them out?

You can find her masterlist HERE 

Me: I’m currently working on two series, Life for Rent and Man’s Best Friend! I also have a couple of Dean series being worked on in the background as well as a couple of oneshots…I have already posted two. One being called Pay Attention and the other called Wet Enough. 

My masterlist can be found HERE:

To the new writers/readers…

Remember guys - we’re all here to love and support you! My inbox is always open if you want to talk fics, want me to look over one etc.

@peaches007​​ @cherry3point14​​ and the few nonnies we had!

We love you, we thank you for reading and we thank you for all the support and love you give us constantly. Thank you for joining the chat and we hope you had an amazing time <3

Go and follow and give them some love!

————————-

Ohhhh yes! 

We have two of them for you too! 

Firstly, the darling @flamencodiva​​​​ is holding a celebration in regards to reaching 1700 followers!

Not only is she hosting a character take over on her blog she’s also posted a writing challenge for all us writers out there! This challenge is still ongoing!

Check it out HERE

Secondly, the wonderful @deanwanddamons​​ & @impala-dreamer​​ are holding a joint challenge. The “I Do Understand That Reference” Challenge. 

Fancy guiding Sam, Dean or Cas through another French Mistake type event? Take a look at the movie list and get yourself signed up!

Check it out HERE

————————- 

Need Help with your fic?

We’ve got you covered!

Need to has out a plot with someone?

The lovely @malfoysqueen14​​​ has offered herself up to be a plot buddy to anyone that needs it. Stuck on a plot point, want to talk through a story line with someone? Give her a message! She’s here to help <3

Need help with research for a fiction?

The most wonderful @waywardbeanie​​​​ has offered herself up to be a researcher for anyone who wants help with their fiction. She has been a die hard SPN fan forever and she’s like the Ellen of our live stream.

Need a researching buddy? Give her a message! She’s a doll <3

————————-

Alpha? Beta? Omega? 

On this livestream, the topic of A/B/O was brought up and we did discuss it in length and detail about what was involved. Now this may not be a genre for everyone and that is absolutely fine.

However for those that are interested in exploring this genre of fanfiction, we highly recommend you check out @kittenofdoomage​​‘s A/B/O universe HERE.

She’s broke it down and has gone into detail to explain it for those that wish to read and/or write it. 

We hope it helps! 

————————-

Fancy yourself a Supernatural Line Breaker? 

We got you! 

Our fabulously talented @talesmaniac89​​ has drawn up so MANY supernatural themed line breakers for your free usage! 

She has two posts full already!

Check them out HERE and HERE

Give them a like, a reblog and please THANK HER if you use her work. She’s a good egg <3 

————————-

Fic & blog Recs!

In our live stream, we want to highlight what we’ve been reading and the amazing authors behind the words. So below is a list of all the fics that we recommend for some good ol fic binging!

Fic Recs

That Day Again by @jensengirl83​​

Summary: Dean tries to comfort the reader. 

Happily Ever Eventually by @crashdevlin​​ Summary:  Reader begins working on Supernatural. She makes fast friends with J2 and after months of flirting becomes something more to Jensen, whose wife is not usually the jealous type. When she gets a small part in a MCU anthology, she meets Tom Hiddleston and things get more complicated.

Fool For Love by @crashdevlin​​

Summary:  Y/n is an omega whose world was flipped upside down when she presented late. She was practically a hermit for years, only going out to socialize once a week. When the Winchester brothers walked into her life, it flipped her world again…but not really right-side up.

Stay by @evansrogerskitten​​

Summary:  Dean is the future Alpha of the Winchester pack, a wolf/human hybrid race that has roamed their land since the first howl under the moon. Dean is the ideal Alpha; strong, smart, and brave. There’s just one thing missing in his life - his future Second, the Omega he’s yet to find. Life for Rent by @winchest09​​

Summary:  Y/N can be anyone for a price. Her life is ruled by contracts, men and money. It’s all she knows; countless identities, seedy clients, and strict regulations. She has to obey the rules, but her past is full of secrets and her future is resting in the wrong hands. But will her next client be the same as the rest?

Et Cetera by @whatareyousearchingfordean​​

Summary: Jared’s younger sister agreed to help out for a few months when one of Supernatural’s makeup artists takes her maternity leave. Trying to juggle her new job and her burgeoning brand, she turns to Jensen for comfort. Can their relationships survive Jared finding out that his best friend slept with his baby sister? Ride With Me by @katehuntington​​

Summary:  Alternate Universe (AU) in which the reader is a horse rider who goes to a ranch in Arizona, owned by Bobby and Ellen Singer. She’s there to gain work experience, but then she meets wrangler Dean Winchester. A heartwarming series about a cowboy who falls for the girl, letting go of the past and the importance of family.

PHEW! I definitely think we have enough fics on here to last us for a few days if not weeks!…don’t you? ;) Please guys don’t forget to give these writers some love when reading their fics, comments, reblogs, asks. It means the world.

————————-

I think that’s it!

Thank you so much once again to everyone who joined the chat, we had 6 hours of laughs and i cannot wait to do it again. I’d appreciate it if you could share this to spread the love of the fics and authors on here!

Keep an eye out for the next date for our next livestream! It will be in a couple of weeks, date to be announced. If you guys have any idea’s or want something included, let us know. If you want to be tagged when we announce, let us know!

See you next time!

xox

[bkdkink]

Do you have any fic recs? I’m on a bkdk binge after reading your fic!

HO HO STRAP IN ANON AND GET READY ITS GONNA BE A LONG ONE (also oergiemgremgi idk which fic you read but im happy you read it thank you sm~) 

Okay so first, im gonna get some one-shots out of the way---yes, they’re all Explicit. these are only a few out of the gold that is bkdk one-shots out there. there’s lots of good unpublished threads on twitter, too. 

Not So Common Ground:  ABO-verse, deku’s a serial killer omega. he meets bakugou alpha and finds out they got some secrets in common. hot. thats all i gotta say. 

Revenge, And a Little More: Deku’s a succubus. you can figure out where it goes from there. I thought his personality was adorable though??? 

On the Edge: okay, so this is smut but with feelings. it’s short, simple, but written so....like, the tone is so soft all around??? like what our two idiots could be once they’ve graduated and have calmed down and just---spoke with action and little words??? idk but it’s a good one-shot that hits my kinks so-- 

It’s Gonna Take a Superman To Sweep Me Off My Feet: this is just. im ngl it’s just kinky ok? the tears, the verbal stuff--sheesh. well written.  

whatever you’ve done, just bury it so this isn’t a one-shot, but it’s a short 3 chapters so im gonna put it here. abo verse again, deku and kacchan had broken up, but yknow. things are complicated. katsuki lost his quirk. its complicated. ends with a happy note though~ 

mistakes: maaaannnn look. i like the simple things ok? after-party s*xytimes? bratty deku? bakugou swears a lot? a fwb vibe? it doesn’t have to be super explicit if it’s got all that. 

okay, now let’s move on to some longer fics. most are in progress, but they’ve all been updating regularly! 

Swap it out:  not rated. in progress. bakugou and deku switch personalities on a dare and have to behave like each other to the whole class. Feelings slowly start ensuing. It’s super cute!!!! has it’s funny moments, especially after you get past the first chapter. katsuki is adorable as he starts crushing on deku!!! aaaaaa!!!!! 

boy meets evil: Explicit. in progress mind the tags basically, bakugou is the son of lucifer and attends an all boy’s catholic school where he meets guilt-ridden shame-filled deku. i really just wanna hug deku. i think it shows a lot of promise so far--promise of what? im not sure, but its there and has my interest. 

Night Out: Explicit. in progress ABOverse,  deku’s a stripper. bakugou is SUPER into it. i only read the first two chapters but i love the author so the rest is probably legit???? 

Howl: Explicit. in progress it’s only 2 chapters in, and it’s been a couple months since its updated, but the author expressed wanting to continue so i imagine its not abandoned! ABOverse again, i like the characterizations a LOOOTTT. college au as well, looks like there’s room for some pining so HNNNGGG 

glacier: Explicit. in progress but close to the end. MIND. THE. TAGS. I cannot stress that enough i personally don’t, yk, get off on reading smut anyway, im usually in it for the giggles. so for me reading this with those tags, its less about the ....“smut” and more about the writing and characterizations. bakugou is unhinged and provides an exciting and suspenseful read, like an antagonist you hate to love, and deku is out here suRVIVING by any means necessary. its all about the suspense dude. its has me on my toes most chapters. tbh i cant decide how i want it to end but i can tell the author knows how its going to do so, and i cant wait to see how it plays out. 

Vicious. Explicit. Complete. i’ve...never read it actually. but uh. sounds interesting i think. fake marriage. they’re hero partners. joins a cult and....stuff happens. 

The Night We Met. Mature. Complete. look. this is soooo well written. the author wanted to make it seem like poetry, and i think they succeeded in doing so. but pleASE understand that this is heavy af. i will never likely, read this again because of how damn HEAVY this was, at least for me. it’s almost triggering to my anxiety?? and i don’t even have. like. serious anxiety??? it has a happy ending though!!! bakugou can’t die, and deku is reincarnated and bound to met him in every life. 

I’m Friends with the Monster in my Closet: Mature. In progress. haven’t read it yet!!! but apparently deku is out here being non-human and creepy and he’s baku’s bff!!! halloween is just around the corner, so why not dive into something spooky like this??? 

Quiet Rapture: Explicit. In progress. ill always rec this classic ABOverse fic. well-written. well characterized. deku isn’t your average omega (thats the shit i like if you couldn’t tell) baku is smitten. i stopped reading about....14 chapters in?? but i imagine it’s still going strong. 

Persephone: Teen. Complete. super cute. baku and deku grow up as best friends then become more. they also grow up with shinsou and he gets a lot of attention and love in this fic too, so if you’re a shinsou stan, here you go! deku has a quirk as well! his dad is written suuuperrr well and lovable. bakugou and deku are oblivious and adorable and just. this fic gives me the fuzzies. only 7 chapters but they’re LOOOONNNNGG. 

these are all mostly from my bookmarks. i have some others, but this has gotten long enough as it is. i love being asked for recs though, so don’t be afraid to send me some or ask me for some!!!! 

[bangtanxm]

Bookclub; March Highlight

This month’s theme was “The Darkness Within” asking for our bookclub members to find the most angstiest and darkest stories to recommend for this month. These are our our monthly fanfic recommendations from our bangtanxm; bookclub!

In the following you find a list of fics we recommend and reviewed this month. Please support these amazing authors! With every monthly recommendation, there is also a drabble game that everyone can participate in. You’ll find the masterlist at the end of the reviews. Happy Reading!

BOOKCLUB; recommendations

PS. As this theme involves a lot of triggering topics, we’d like to emphasize to thoroughly read the disclaimers on each story. Thank you.

TEMPTATION written by linzeigh

— Summary; Yoongi and Jimin are priests. Jin, Taehyung, and Jungkook are hungry. — Disclaimer; pwp, demons, nsfw-content

bookclub; review

“AAAAARRHHHHH. This was so incredible. I feel like no matter what I say, it will not do this masterpiece justice. It's so sinful and forbidden, but oh how it feels so right! The gradual revelation of Jimin and Yoongi’s mutual lust for each other was masterfully written. And fuck, I love the demon trio of Jin, JK and Tae. Their interactions and teasing brought a surprisingly bright mood to the fic, and I giggled several times at JK and Tae’s bickering. The concept of them feeding of sexual tension and being able to read Jimin and Yoongi’s mind was really interesting. The blasphemy was so shocking (and surprisingly intriguing), and I kept thinking damn how far is the author gonna take it, and oh lord very very far indeed. This is a must-read for anyone who likes explicit and dark fics!!” [@tinysweetscrown]

“This fic is so good. It is lengthy, for one, which is so admirable and amazing considering it’s largely smut. Smut can be so hard to write such big fics of and keep it fresh and interesting, but this author was able to do so. They were able to really take their time with each character and it felt fresh and interesting, without being slow or repetitive which is such an awesome accomplishment. I love the small details that were added in, the fact that they didn’t bleed, probably didn’t need to breathe, were super strong, etc. – it really added to the depth of the characters themselves, which is something that is often left out of smut fics. Also the entire subject/plot. Though blasphemous in some ways, it was handled really really well and I think kind of brushed on some very important topics (like being gay and religious). Overall just a stunning piece of fiction that I will be coming back to again and again for a reread.” [anon]

THE PERFECT ILLUSION written by @softjeon​ & @cassiavioletblue​

— Summary; He was the perfect illusion. The getaway for anyone who didn’t want to face reality. And yet, there was something in his eyes, something vulnerable and hopeful as if he was dying for someone to see through him, to care for him enough to look behind the mask and draw out the real Jimin. And Namjoon couldn’t wait to do exactly that. — Disclaimer; mentioning of abusive behavior

bookclub; review

“this is...just wow.... the story is so interesting and unique, the writing is beautiful, the characters are so on point. Ive only read the first chapter so far and i just know this is going to be one of my classics. The universe is so well constructed, the characters very nuanced in such a short amount of time... You can see the research that went into the geisha world, and it's paying off into what i feel is a masterpiece.” [anon]

"I already had an admiration and love for geisha culture and craft so seeing this story come out the first time just made me so excited!! Granted it has darker thematic tones to it, I loved how Jimins character was so well embodied that it stuck with me even after I read it. Also Jungkook as the maiko liSTEN I GREW SO PROTECTIVE OF HIM THROUGHOUT THE STORY. That build up of his mizuage made me want to take him away to somewhere and Namjoon and Yoongi were just the best, most complimentary characters to each of them. Jimin needed someone soft and kind like Namjoon while Jungkook needed someone sort of protective and a little cheeky like Yoongi. Their dynamics just worked so freaking well and you can always count on Jey and Cat to have just the right amount of angst mixed with fluff cause damn it HURT for a while reading this but the relief of it all was so welcoming. I can't rec this fic enough honestly, the characters, the settings in the teahouse are so beautiful and I LOVE authors who aren't scared to make a member into an antagonistic character cause it added so much flavour to the chemistry OOF just well done it was so nice reminiscing with this fic again!!!” [anon]

“I read The Perfect Illusion originally as it came out. It is just as enjoyable the second time through. It was such an interesting and stunning piece, I felt. The real shining star was the slow burn aspect of it, I think, even more so than the angst or abuse aspects. The slow sort of build of romance between Joon and Jimin was really beautiful, especially with the constant looming danger of what they were doing. The gravity of it was revealed in a really slow, measured manner that I think really helped the reader feel that sense of urgency as the fic went on and we – like Namjoon, learned more and more about the situation than we’d known before. The disgust of what was being done to Jimin and JK and the other dancers was enough to roll one’s stomach, but it was done in such a way that it worked well with the fic. It wasn’t there just for shock value; everything seemed to have a purpose and a point and it wove together in a really fitting and gorgeously heartbreaking and bittersweet tale overall.”  [anon] 

SING FOR ME written by Trilluvium

— Summary; When Jimin set out to find Earthshine in order to save his mother, he’d been ready to give up his life. Earthshine’s keeper, however, was interested in taking more from Jimin than just his life. — Disclaimer; non-con, tentacles, rape

bookclub; review

“Just wow. Okay, so this fic is so beautifully done. There is nonconsent, yes, it’s dark, yes, but it’s so much more than that. Particularly because of the ending, which is so bittersweet – Jimin’s choice. But my thinking is, vaguely hopeful? Maybe things will turn around? But that’s just me. Either way – the real shining star in this fic is the descriptive writing. The author does such a good job of writing in a very clear and detailed manner that a lot of folks just can’t accomplish without it dragging the fic down. It feels far heavier in description than dialogue, which I think fits it perfectly. The author was able to perfectly describe this absolutely beautiful fantasy realm in which the characters are, as well as the inhuman aspects of the characters. The description left me breathless – I wasn’t distracted, struggling to imagine what a, b, or c looked like – the author painted this amazing, film quality scene in my head. And because of that, I was able to focus fully on the dialogue and action of the characters.”  [anon]

WHISPERING SHADOWS written by @jooniesmind​

— Summary; It’s an already tough ability, that becomes borderline impossible, when you’re scared of ghosts. And Jimin was like that. — Disclaimer; angst, ghosts, mentioning of death

bookclub; review

“This is an excellent start to what could be a really sad, beautiful fic! The descriptions used are really stunning, painting a lovely picture (and a sad one). I’d love to see what would happen if JK came back, or even just following poor terrified-of-ghosts Jimin through his life, doing his job in whatever way he can manage. I’d love to learn more about how it works, what he does (and doesn’t do) and meet other ghosts he’s had to tangle with. And other whisperers! How it works and what makes them have the ability, etcetera. There’s such a whole rich world here that I think the author really began to develop in a beautiful way.” [anon]

“this story just hits you right in the feels. the author does a great job of putting so much emotion in a little one-shot that i’m just in awe at how they’ve done it. it is perfect!” [anon]

The Chaos Theory (Love Me Now) written by leanmeancuisine

— Summary; Jeon Jungkook, Prince of the South Korean Royal Pack and CEO of the largest conglomerate in the world, was thought to be following his father’s footsteps in becoming a Purebred Alpha. Oh, how wrong was that. Freshly presented at 18, Jungkook is discovered to be a Genus—a rare and one of a kind type of wolf that has more than one special gene. — Disclaimer; ABO Dynamics, mentioning of suicide, depression, kidnapping, poly-relationship

bookclub; review

“So I read this entire wip in one sitting. And then had to lay down and sleep on it before writing this. That’s how damn good this fic is. I was absolutely blown away. The style of writing is unbelievably well done. The author was able to really create this whole world and species, essentially, borrowing from some of the more traditional tropes but changing it into something very unique and creative. It feels so entirely fresh and interesting, weaving both very well handled traumas and angst in with softer, gentler bits that give the fic a level of depth and beauty that I haven’t seen in a very long time. All of the characters are so beautifully developed; I honestly can’t think of one I prefer more than the other of the ones that we have met so far. I’m so incredibly curious about the remaining members, as well as how Jin will blend with the rest of the group as things progress. I look forward to many updates!” [anon]

“ALRIGHT DAMN what a ride and im only prologue + 1st ch in! the introduction to jungkook's is honestly so good, and the author describes the scenes so perfectly its like we're there with jungkook, annoyed at the world. These two chapters definitely got my attention and i have a feeling ill be binging this in a near future. I can't wait to see how the author develop the other boys, how they'll introduce them... im getting excited now” [anon]

MONSTER UNDER THE BED written by Born2beSad

— Summary; Namjoon’s new apartment came with a little more than he was expecting… …luckily for him and his nighttime visitor, he’s into it. — Disclaimer; tentacles pwp, monsters,

bookclub; review

“This is such an interesting twist on the tentacle genre! I loved jimin and Joon's dynamic, although definitely wrong...but in a universe with monster under the beds i don't think that matters. Jimin as a character was weirdly endearing, and you can't help yourself from feeling sorry for him and his loneliness, and relieved he found Joon. And well, Joon is leaving his best life, so props to him for sticking around. The writing was impeccable, will definitely be going through the authors fics in a near future” [anon]

“I'm a lil bit of a newbie with tentacle porn reading wise and def haven't tried it writing wise but THIS WAS THE SHIIITTTT I LOVED IT SO MUCH (and lowkey highkey brought out a small tentacle porn interest of mine i didn't know i had oop) just the way Namjoon loved it and wanted it I could feel it in my freaking bones and maybe even related to him a littejnerighs i mean it was JIMIN HOW COULD YOU NOT and i loved the sprinkles of fluff in there it really brought a nice relief from the hot, heavy and body tingling smut embedded into it gdfoegg this was so good, such a hot way to depict a monster under the bed concept and the author did it so well also really inspired to dive into this territory of storytelling cause i'm 0.0 intrGUED” [anon]

“So, so good. Many of your general tentacle fics tie so deeply with nonconsent or dubious consent at best. Which is entirely fine, but sometimes it’s so nice to see something refreshing and new, and this fits the bill. While still brimming with great imagery and really well written smut, it also injects a supply of sweet fluff and near domesticity to the situation. Rather than being the ‘boy gets taken against his will by sex crazed monster’ – the relationship is symbiotic, allowing a give and take; even if it is largely physical in nature. I think that sheds such a fun light on the tentacle monster trope. This is one of those fics that I would really enjoy seeing another chapter or two, additional shenanigans that the two get up to with or without smut. Further, I love the descriptors used in the fic, I feel like it painted a really lovely visual that helped the reader really dive into it.” [anon]

“This fic....whew! It is really something! I don't read tentacle stuff and I'm not a fan of bottom!Namjoon but I wanted to read something different for this month. It's a great balance of fluff and smut with how the ending turns out; it's not rape or non-con either, since Namjoon is a huge monster lover lol I can just imagine him with a whole collection of monster dildos. The writing is wonderful too. The way the author set up the beginning without giving things away until maybe halfway through is really well done. Like, you already know Namjoon's going to consent but (at least for me) not in a way you expected. Jimin being a cute, friendly monster who isn't afraid to show his devilish side too <3 I seriously reccomend this to people who like tentacle porn. Maybe even people who don't read it often like me” [anon]

“This was such a surprisingly sweet and fluffy tentacle fic. I love the author's description of Jimin’s duality; the mixture between his sweet pretty features and his black demon tentacles, really feels so believe haha. The ending was so lovely and really put a smile on my face!” [@tinysweetscrown​]

INTO THE WOODS written by bugarungus

— Summary; Seokjin wakes up to find he’s been kidnapped by some nature nymphs and their pet. — Disclaimer; tentacle pwp, fae & farieis, dubious consent

bookclub; review

“Oh my, I was completely immersed in this beautiful little universe, the author created. Everything about this fic is so lovely and stunning - from the descriptions of Jin’s everyday life before he meets the nymphs to the actual smut. I loved the bickering between Jimin, Tae and Yoongi, because it truly felt like a “brotherly” relationship. Also the fact that they each were a different “type” of nymph, and especially Tae’s protectiveness of LeeAnn, was so interesting and funny to read. This fic really strikes a perfect balance between a dirty smutty plot with dubious consent without it being too vulgar and uncomfortable to read!” [@tinysweetscrown]

“Wowowowow. Honestly this fic blew me away. There was so much going on but it was all so clear and well written, just… Perfection. The descriptions were so clean and clear and visually stimulating, it was easy to picture exactly what was happening. This is something so hard to do sometimes, especially in smut with more than two people, and this one was four and a plant! I wanted to know more about the nymphs, and their plant – the backstory bet would be so fascinating and amazing. There was so much subtle romance between the nymphs, and even being dubious consent, I feel like that oozed into Jin as well – opening up the idea that the future isn’t going to be questionable. Kind of a happy ending even with a smidge of the darker/dubious consent that laced through it. I think also, the relationship between the nymphs was just really fun. Despite the alternate universe, the characters felt really true to the actual group members. Their personalities matched up great and I didn’t find myself wondering if x would actually say that, do that, etcetera. It’s amazing when you can keep things true to ‘life’ but put them into this awesome fantasy world. Just so, so well done.” [anon]

NICE THINGS written by @kimlinebiased​

— Summary; Namjoon is clumsy, even with others’ hearts. — Disclaimer; smut

bookclub; review

“This was such a sweet and wholesome fic! I especially enjoyed Namjoon's letter to Yoongi. I felt like the description of how Namjoon and Yoongi are different really fit so well with at least how I see them irl! Also the call back in the end to "this is why we can't have nice things" tied the whole fic so nicely together and left me all warm and fuzzy :)" [@tinysweetscrown]

“Nice things is such a sweet story, even with the angst thrown into it, you can feel the love yoongi and namjoon have for each other. It make the angst hurt even more, and wraps things up in cute ending. The smut if soft and just right for the story, and you just find yourself rooting for the characters to make it work, and also to pls wrap namjoon in bubble wrap...”[anon]

“A blend of angst and smut, it's really well done. I don't read a lot of canon/idol stuff nor do I write it much, but I decided I'd give it a read. Considering it's Dean writing, I wasn't disappointed haha Namjoon and Yoongi have a really nice relationship and Yoongi's reluctance to get back with Namjoon makes sense given how Namjoon broke his heart. The smut at the end is A+ too.” [anon]

DEVILS HAND by @softjeon​ & @cassiavioletblue​

— Summary; There had been rumors, but in the end it was not really a secret that Namjoon loved delicate and beautiful things. Especially when it came down to his lovers and his castle. It was decorated with lot of flowing, long blue curtains, colorful paintings in every room, rows of marble columns leading along every aisle. There was a large garden surrounding the palace, which was by far Jungkook’s favorite place to be – next to the king’s bedroom. — Disclaimer; alcohol, abusive relationships, abusive behavior, (sexual) violence, major character death

bookclub; review

“This fic….. ruined me… When I first started reading it, I was immediately intrigued, because I had no idea where the fic was going! I was so captivated by it, and I HAD TO finish it, but holy fuck I needed like a good day to digest it. The universe the authors created was absolutely beautiful and so well-described that I feel like I, days later, still have a clear image in my head of what the scenes look like - as if I’d seen a movie. The ending was absolutely devastating and painful and awful (but like in a good way) and im so conflicted about the whole thing…………” [@tinysweetscrown]

“alright so another masterpiece by the incredible duo! The dynamic in this story are amazingly complex and layered, the characters interesting and their motives are well thought out.. You can't help but have your stomach tied in a knot after the first chapter, anticipation making you nervous. There's this general feeling that shit will hit the fan and it won't be pretty... beautifully written, bravo!” [anon]

“How. Dare. You. Omg, I just reread this fic and ughhhh the ending breaks my heart every time! I've never hated Namjoon in a fic before. Even when I've made him an asshole, I didn't hate him. But here...he's just such a dick and Jungkook is such a sweetheart looking to please the man he loves. It's such a sad story because Jungkook is a rabbit surrounded by vipers (Taehyung being the only good one imo). I definitely rec it to anyone who wants a good angsty read. I do say mind the triggers though, since it's not for everyone. The writing is beautiful, sets a good pace, and gives detail without going overboard. Jey and Cat really get you inside the character's feelings while delivering really steamy smut scenes.” [anon]

“The Devil’s Hand was such a sad, dark story for all involved. I don’t often read major character death because it makes me so sad, but I think it was really fitting for this fic. There was no winning for JK, and the end really solidified that lesson of not knowing what you have until it’s gone. The relationship between Taehyung and Jungkook was one of my favorite parts of the entire fic. They had such a well-developed friendship and I think that Tae really embodied the person that JK deserved, in a weird way. Though they were only friends, he was loving and trusting and would do anything for JK, even at the risk of his own life. The contrast between how Tae treated him versus Namjoon, even versus Hoseok – it was so stark and telling in terms of the fic and the deeper meanings. I think overall the fic was heart wrenching and so, so sad, but such an excellent piece that really cuts the reader to the bone. “ [anon]

The Drabble-Game; MASTERLIST

— prompt; “Sometimes the darkness is too big to keep inside.”  

Thank you to everyone who participated! Stay tuned for the next theme of the month to participate! 

THE ROOM WHERE IT HAPPENED written by @chimknj​

— summary; Jimin was in the room when Hoseok walked in. Only one of them would get out of it alive.

EAT THE RICH (BECAUSE THEY’RE ROTUND AND DELICIOUS) written by @kimlinebiased​

— summary; Jungkook had a mission. That mission may involve killing people and burying the bodies. It’s going great… Until the bodies go missing.

— Join the Bookclub here! — official post — faq

[lovedsammy]

all I want (for Christmas); [commission for petrichoravellichor]

This was commissioned by @petrichoravellichor, who wanted a fluffy holiday fic (Christmas shopping, decorating, etc) with Sam & Jack as the primary focus with optional Sam, Cas & Jack or Sastiel w/ Jack. :) So there’s slight Sastiel, but not explicitly romantic until the end. No smut, though. 

Also, for the timeline: I set this to be just after 14x08 but before 14x09. 

-

It’d started off as a relatively quiet Saturday.

They hadn’t had any luck with finding any cases recently, and Sam was pretty grateful for that. They needed some down time, to settle in and hibernate like bunch of hermits, as Dean had said. They’d just gotten Jack back not too long ago, after all, and the holidays were fast approaching. And with the holidays came the change of the weather. Opening the front door that morning after he’d gotten dressed to go for a run, Sam had been stunned to see the first active snowfall of the year. There was barely a few inches on the ground, but it had been enough for Team Free Will to decide that going out likely wasn’t going to happen. So they were just going to hang in, drink hot chocolate, and binge-watch holiday movies. Or, at least, that was the plan, until Jack, ever so restless, came bounding into the library, paper and pen in hand.

“We should go Christmas shopping,” He declares. 

Sam, Dean and Cas all look up from their various activities — Sam researching away on his laptop, Dean in the middle of eating his breakfast, and Cas reading some type of Enochian text that seemed more out of boredom than any pure interest.

“Christmas shopping,” Dean deadpans. 

Jack, to his credit, is not the least bit put out by Dean’s nonchalance. “Yeah! It’s already the middle of December and we barely have any decorations up. And we haven’t even exchanged ideas for presents, either. So I wrote mine down, and I need you guys to tell me yours.” 

Sam cuts Dean off when his brother opens his mouth to retort. “Yeah, cool, Jack. We can do that. Let me see your list.” Sam shuts his laptop and eases over to Jack, reading the list over the kid’s shoulder. To his surprise, it was a relatively short list, but at least it contained more than Nougat this year. Last year, that was all the kid really wanted, apart from the Star Wars funko pop collection.  

“Well, you know what? You kids can go do all the shopping you want, I’m staying here.” Dean snorts. “Ain’t no way in Hell I’m driving out in all this muck. As for the gifts, get us whatever you want, Jack, it’s up to you.” 

Sam wants to quip that Dean drives out in the snow more than he does, but resists. Jack turns soft eyes onto Sam, practically pleading, and the hunter nods his assent. He wasn’t opposed to it, plus it needed to get done sooner or later, anyway. The Winchesters were always late with Christmas, if they chose to celebrate at all. With Jack and their Mom here now, they had no reason not to celebrate.

“All right, go grab your stuff. Let’s go shopping.” 

“Yes!” Jack cheers, already running back to his room to grab his coat. Sam hides a smile behind his fringe. The kid was way too cute sometimes, especially now that he was human. 

“Cas, you going or you staying?” Dean asks gruffly, already chomping back down on his bacon. 

Castiel opens his mouth and closes it again for several seconds, looking comically in Sam’s opinion, like a fish out of water. It creates a flutter in the younger Winchester’s stomach. “I don’t know if I…” He trails off when Jack comes sprinting back into the room, already donning his winter coat, scarf, and gloves, and looking every bit like a kid at Christmas, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet. “I’ll stay here,” The angel decides. “I don’t have much experience with the selection of gifts.”

Sam frowns at him. Wouldn’t it be good for Cas to come with, to participate in the festivities with his son too? Surely Jack would want that. But to his surprise, Jack shrugs. 

“Oh, that’s okay, Cas. I’ve got an idea of what to get you anyway, and I don’t want you to see it.” The boy smiles brightly at Sam and reaches for his coat sleeve, tugging a little. Sam chuckles to himself and nods at his brother and Cas. 

“All right, we’re going. See you in a bit.”

-

Getting out to the local Walmart takes them a bit longer than expected, but otherwise, hadn’t been too bad of a drive, in all honesty. Sam had wrestled with the idea of where to shop, and finally decided on Walmart since it was closest to the bunker, and it had almost everything. Upon entering, they see that it’s not really crowded, so shopping would be pretty easy without the massive holiday crowds. Jack lights up when he spots the large Christmas tree in the center of the store, adorned in tinsel and lights and ornaments. 

“We should get a tree like that! It’d look amazing in the bunker. Oh! And this!” Jack bounces over to the outdoor reindeer sleigh set, climbing up into the seat. Sam can’t help but smile as he watches him. Jack really was like a two year old in so many ways, despite physically being eighteen or nineteen. His innocence, how he perceived the world…. Sam honestly wishes that Jack could have it forever. “What do you think, Sam?”

The memory of the boy lying so ill in bed, asleep in death, comes unbidden to mind and Sam shakes it off. Jack almost hadn’t been here to enjoy this, the thrill of the holiday spirit. He clears his throat.

“Might be a little hard to get that into the trunk, Jack,” Sam easily lets him down, choosing not to tell him that they didn’t have a porch to put it on anyway. “But we can get the tree, okay? What do you say we get the gifts and then grab the stuff for decorating?” 

Jack nods easily, jumping back down. “Okay. What kind of stuff does Dean like?” 

Sam huffs a laugh. “Dean’s easy. It’s Cas that’s hard to shop for.”

“Oh. He doesn’t like Christmas?”

“I don’t think it’s that,”’ Sam says. “It’s more that he feels he doesn’t need to do the Christmas thing because he’s not human. It took Dean and me years to convince him to even sit down and watch Christmas movies with us. I think he does it more for our sake than any real investment. And now for you, of course.” 

Jack absorbs this. “I see. What about Dean? He doesn’t seem like he likes Christmas, either.” 

“Dean’s… a bit of a sourpuss at times,” Sam remarks. “Believe me, he never used to be. He’s actually the one that got me to celebrate Christmas again.” 

“Why’d you stop?”

The question is innocent enough, but it still makes Sam’s mouth go a little bit dry. He tries to explain in the gentlest voice possible. “Dean and I, we had a lot of lonely years, Jack. Our father was gone a lot on Christmas, and Mom was... well, you know. But we still celebrated as much as we could as kids, even if we didn’t get a ton of gifts under the tree or candy in our stockings. But when Dean… after he sold his soul for me, I couldn’t face the idea of a Christmas without him, and so I just… stopped.” 

He trails off, and glances at Jack, to see the boy looking sorrowfully at him. 

“I’m sorry, Sam.”

“It’s okay,” Sam reassures him quickly. “That was a long time ago. We can do Christmas now, and a lot of that reason is because of you, Jack. If you weren’t here, we - I - might not care so much about it. I want you to experience this, all of it, in the ways that I couldn’t.” 

Sam’s not used to being so open like this, but he swallows down the embarrassment. This was Jack. His… well, his son. It took him a long time to admit that to himself, that Jack had become that for him -- for him and Cas, and Dean to an extent -- and to acknowledge the depths of the importance the boy held. He smiles, ruffling the kid’s hair. 

“Come on.”

They decide on a new skillet set for Dean, whose cooking has managed to get even better, much to Sam’s utter shock. Dean had been proficient at cooking for years, but in recent months, he’s refined his palette and skills to boot. Sam would dare say that the meals he gets from Dean are sometimes miles better than diner food from a few of the places that they frequent. Not that he’d ever tell Dean that. For Cas, it took them a little longer to find something, but Jack picked out a cat-decorated black throw blanket that the angel might put to use. Ever since Cas had started taking up residence in Sam’s room when they would watch Netflix together, Sam had joked that Cas should get his own blanket and pillow. Cas had said it wasn’t necessary, but clearly, even Jack felt that the angel needed one. Sam had to agree. He’d lost count of how many times Cas would hog the covers. 

For Mom, Sam remembered her saying that she wanted a new duvet set for her room in the bunker if she was going to make it more ‘her.’ Unlike her boys, she disliked some of the bunker’s interior and was trying to make it more ‘homey,’ in a sense, even if she lived there only part-time. So he’d settled on something more neutral-colored, since Mary wasn’t a huge fan of bright, feminine colors. She liked to have lighter colors that anything could match with. 

Going past the entertainment section, Sam stops, considering. There were a couple of things that he could cross off of Jack’s list right now, but it would be difficult to do that while he was here. He really wished that Cas had come with them now. “Hey, Jack?” He calls over to the boy, who is making his way through the DVD selection. “Do you mind waiting here for a few minutes? There’s something I want to get you.”

Jack smiles. “Okay, I’ll wait here.” 

“Be careful,” Sam says, just out of habit, and feels like it’s a little much; of course his dad tendencies had to kick in when he was leaving Jack alone in a department store, of all places. Sam hurries back toward the home-ware section, and looks for the Star Wars blanket as well as the photo album. The blanket, Sam hadn’t been shocked to see on the list. Jack was a huge fan of Star Wars, even the newer stuff. But the album, and the asterisk written beside it, signaling its importance, along with the comment saying “For the rest of my life with my dads” had… well, it’d made Sam emotional. 

They already had some pictures of Jack with and without them that would be good in the album. He picks out one that has the option for handwritten notes, and goes to the self-checkout to pay for the items, getting them bagged up before he heads back to find Jack. 

He finds Jack exactly where he left him, talking to a little girl. 

“I love Elsa too! Her powers are extraordinary, aren’t they?”

Ah, Frozen.

“Yeah, but ‘cause of that, people treat her bad,” The girl says, somewhat sadly, picking at the sleeve of her dress. “Just ‘cause she’s different. I think having powers is so cool.”

“Me, too,” Jack grins. The girl giggles back at him. 

“Zoey!” 

A woman, the girl’s mother, if Sam had to guess by the near-identical appearance, comes running over to them, sighing in relief when she spots her daughter. She grabs her by her shoulders. “Don’t worry me like that. You know how your father gets when you don’t listen to him.” 

“Sorry, Ma’am,” Jack says at once, straightening up with a friendly smile. “I saw her by herself and wanted to keep her company.” 

“Oh, thank you,” The woman says gratefully. “That’s very kind of you.”

Zoey holds up her Frozen DVD. “Look, Mommy. Jack helped me find it.”

“That’s great, sweetie.” 

Zoey’s mom nods at Jack. “Thank you for helping her. Happy Holidays to you and your dad,” She says, smiling over at Sam, as she takes Zoey’s hand and the pair turn away.  

“Bye bye, Jack,” The little girl waves, and Jack waves back to her. Sam comes up to his side, proud. God, Jack was a sweet kid. Sometimes he couldn’t believe that he was supposed to be Lucifer’s son. He was the furthest thing from him.  

They head to go pay for the rest of their items, and Sam checks his watch absently while the cashier is ringing them up, and is shocked at the time. They’d been in here for close to two hours now. Once everything is bagged and in the cart, they start to proceed out the exit.

“All right. Come on, let’s get home.” 

--

The first thing that Sam does, when he and Jack return back outside to find the Impala’s hood covered with snow, is think that Dean wasn’t going to be happy when they finally got back home. The second is to kick himself for not paying better attention to the weather forecast in the first place. The drive here hadn’t been bad, but that was a very different story now. 

The news hadn’t mentioned anything about more snow accumulation during the afternoon hours. And to make matters worse, the visibility was low, and the snow was still falling in thick flakes. The roads now would be slick and messy, a far cry from a few hours ago. It would be awhile before they got home. He turns to Jack, who, despite the turn of the weather, still doesn’t look too bothered by it, his arms full of large shopping bags. So Sam plays it cool, guiding Jack back toward the Impala. 

While it was true that he had less experience driving in accumulate weather than his brother did, Sam had driven in his fair share of snow. And considering that they had spent most of their life on the road and thus were better acquainted with the many changes of Mother Nature than most people, Sam thinks that maybe he can handle it. They’d just take it slow on the roads and take their time getting back to avoid any spin outs. Not that the Impala was notorious for that -- it was a hell of a car, despite how old she was getting. But there was always the chance. It’s only getting into the car and turning the key to start her up that Sam thinks it might be worse than he thought. 

There was a deep rumble coming from the engine, but the car wasn’t starting. He tries several times, and comes up empty. “Uhh… Jack, we might, uh… we might be stuck here for a while.” 

“Oh?” Jack asks, leaning up in his seat, furrowing his brows. “Is the car stuck or something?” 

“It’s not starting, not even the heat, or --” Sam begins explaining, and backpedals when he sees the worry starting to form in the boy’s features. “Listen, I’ll, uh… I’ll try it again in a minute, okay? Maybe give it a few to get started.”

The car is cold, and Sam can tell that the temperatures outside were dropping with how much more the snow was beginning to stick. He curses under his breath, and attempts to start the car again. Still nothing. The last thing that Sam wants to do is to call Dean or Cas and have them come get them, but that might be the only option here, and if it was, he was going to get an earful from his brother. He could always call a tow truck to get them home, but Dean would know about that, too, and Sam wasn’t prepared to give his brother the satisfaction of being right for choosing not to go out in this. 

So he and Jack sit and wait. 

Maybe it would start soon. 

When after fifteen minutes he has no success, and he begins to hear Jack’s teeth chattering, he knows that the gig is up and sighs. Being out here too long wasn’t an option. The last thing he needed was for Jack to get sick… again. So Sam makes the regretful decision to call Cas. The angel would take this better than Dean would, at any rate. 

“Sam?” Cas answers after the second ring. “You’ve been gone a long while, is everything all right?”

“Not exactly,” Sam says, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Cas, we’re… kinda stuck in the Walmart parking lot. The car won’t start.” 

Sam hears the sound of Dean’s voice talking to Cas, the angel relaying the situation, and Dean’s deep exclamation of curses that make Sam cringe. 

“Dammit! What the hell did I tell him?” Dean’s saying, and Sam can picture him throwing his hands up in frustration.

“Sam, I’m on my way,” Cas replies, already reaching for his car keys. “I’ll try and get there as fast as I can, but with this weather, I can’t say how long it will be. Thirty minutes, maybe. Do the two of you have heat?” 

“No, we don’t.” Sam says, starting to develop a chill, too. 

“Maybe Dean was right,” Jack intones, looking crestfallen. “Maybe we shouldn’t have come out.” 

Sam reaches over to pat the kid’s shoulder. No way in Hell was he going to let Jack feel bad about this. “Not your fault, Jack,” Sam says. “I should’ve paid better attention to the weather.” 

“You wanted to make him happy, Sam,” Cas chimes in gently over the phone, and Sam can’t deny it, or mistake the way Cas’s words make his heart swell. “You did. This is just a setback. Hang on, I’ll be there soon.” 

He hangs up with a click. 

“Cas is on his way,” Sam tells Jack. “He’ll be here soon. Here,” He reaches into the glove box and pulls out a couple of heating packs, pressing one to Jack’s face. “This’ll keep you a little warm until we get home.” 

It feels like a long time, but twenty minutes later, Cas is there, and Sam almost laughs when the car door opens and the angel pokes his head in. 

There are countless snowflakes stuck in his hair.

“We’ll have to come back for the Impala,” Cas says, and it comes out so gravely that you’d think someone had died. “Dean isn’t at all happy about it, but he’ll get over it. I told him I’ll come back out tonight to get it. Come on. You’re both freezing.”

He removes his trenchcoat and puts it around Jack, and then places a hand to Sam’s stubbled cheek, emitting some heat to him with his grace. Cas’s touch lingers, and Sam wants to make a comment about body heat and how there were other ways to make some, but thinks better of it with Jack standing right there. This thing with him and Cas was still relatively new, and he didn’t need to freak the kid out. He’d caught them kissing on two occasions already.  

Cas, however, leans over to whisper in his ear. “Just to warn you, Sam, Dean is awaiting you in your room. I believe his exact words were ‘I’m going to kick his ass for making Baby wait out there on her own all night.’ I very explicitly told him that your ass was in no danger. Not from him, anyway.”

A chill that has nothing to do with the cold runs up Sam’s spine. He flushes, clearing his throat. “’Course. Right.”

Noticing Sam’s pink cheeks, Jack just laughs at them. “Are you guys flirting again?” 

Sam shakes his head in bemusement. Well, going back home to an angry brother, a hot angel boyfriend, and their son wasn’t a bad way to spend the rest of the day.

It could always be worse, right? 

Especially on a snow day.

[homieno]

PSA for everyone

 I know with everything that’s going on right now we are all feeling very stressed and a lot of us are feeling quite lonely. I haven’t seen anyone talking about it but i feel it’s important to acknowledge that this pandemic is going to cause a spike in suicide and suicide attempts. And just a downfall in mental health in general! This is a service post and I’m reminding and urging everyone to stay safe and not let the depression win. Though we are separated, we are all in this together. 

TIPS FOR STAYING BUSY

-Crafts! I work at michaels and since this outbreak has started we’ve been super busy, everyone is buying craft supplies for themselves and their children and it’s a very valid thing to prioritize! So keep yourself busy by learning a new skill or craft, or practicing one you already know! You’re isolated remember so it doesn’t have to be good! it’s for yourself

- Reading! I’m assuming the Fic content is going to skyrocket soon with everyone being stuck at home so we should be able to keep ourselves endlessly busy with that but also real books! There is something so comforting about holding a psychical copy in your hand and getting lost. Romanticize it; curl up with your favourite blanket, a candle and a cup of tea (or coffee or water) and get lost in a story. Get lost in another life that isn’t this one right now. 

I really like to use a site called ambientmixer when I’m reading or writing. It lets you pick a place in the world and it plays the background noises making it seem like you’re in that place! I usually put on the hogwarts library or coffeeshop and it’s very subtle 

-And on that note as well! Writing!! Write stuff down, write about anything. It doesn’t have to be good, it doesn’t have to be an entirely well structured plot line, it doesn’t have to be posted. Write for yourself, do things for yourself in this time. It’s easy to get overwhelmed at a blank page but just remember you have all the time in the world right now. 

-Learn something new; a new language, a new skill, anything! Try and dedicate a little time to it each day, and make sure it’s something that makes you happy. Love Space? Try and learn some things about stars and galaxies. Love mythology? There are infinite online resources and stories. We’re all going to come out of this as much more interesting people this way. 

-Clean clean clean. Hey, it’s still spring right? That’s the ultimate time to do a big deep clean and this way it doesn’t have to be an entire day committed to cleaning your entire house. I know for me knowing i have so much to do in such little time makes me tired just at the thought of it. So take this opportunity and space things out, as little or as much as you want. But I think this is very important because a big trigger for a lot of mental and emotional stress is the environment we live in and it’s more important than ever to have a calm space. 

Here’s a link by another tumblr user about cleaning when it seems overwhelming

-Redecorate! We all know the feeling of when we were kids and we’d move our room around and feel like a new person. And quite honestly we all need that feeling in our lives every once in a while.

-Start a new series, or rewatch an old loved series. While it’s important that we don’t spend our entire time on the couch let’s also be real, we are the netflix and chill generation and we’re just lying to ourselves if we don’t think we’re gonna spend a day or 5 binging TV. So pull up your streaming site, pick a good show, grab some snacks and come back to this post in 2-5 business days. 

-Meditate. I find that people often associate meditation with spirituality and higher power stuff, which yes in spiritual practice meditation is very important but that’s mostly for it’s ability to calm and center people. It’s going to be very easy to find yourself overwhelmed and anxious when you’re alone with your thoughts 24/7 and meditation can be really beneficial. It’s very simple too and not as daunting as you might think! You can find a quiet space and sit or lay down, it can be done on your bed if you’d like! And you can play some soft music (without lyrics or something soft like a coffee house playlist), or listen to a podcast even, this can be done in silence also! You don’t have to do anything other than stay still and try and focus your thoughts. To stop them from becoming entirely overwhelming. There’s so many good videos for breathing exercises and some really good guided meditations as well if you’d like to be told exactly what to do. The purpose of this is just to ground yourself and give yourself some time to be calm and have control of your thoughts.

Here are some links to videos:

1 

2 

3

Now I can give you all these tips and ideas for staying sane but we also need to face the fact that when you’re struggling with mental illness as so many of us are it’s impossible to just ignore those thoughts and feelings. It’s very important that we reach out before things get too hard. I’d also like to say that if you’re feeling depressed or anxious and you need to talk you don’t have to be planning on attempting suicide or hurting yourself. Help lines and crisis lines are for anybody and I know you may be feeling like your issues are bad enough to reach out but they are! and you should reach out before they get worse! My DM’s are also always open to people who need to talk, I am not a professional but I’ve been there myself and I know sometimes it can help to just dump all of your problems into someones inbox, let that be mine. 

Here are some Crisis and help lines that can help save a life:

Crisis Service Canada 1-833-456-4566 and you click on the link for more information and the instructions for Texting a crisis line

National Suicide prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255 (United States)

Europe Hotlines

Crisis Textline UK

AGAIN! These crisis lines are not just for suicidal people, it is important to reach out if you are feeling mentally ill and you need help. You do not need to be standing on a ledge in order to ask for help. 

Stay connected with your loved ones during this time and try not to isolate yourself more than you already are. Text and call your friends, connect with new people online (but be safe)

Do happy things!

Write your best friend daily letters and give it to them at the end of this whole thing and let that be something to look forward to, create something for someone else and let that be a drive to make it through this. 

Everybody please do everything you can to stay safe during this hard time and do not be afraid to reach out! Your feelings are always valid and you are not being needy or annoying for wanting to talk to people all the time and wanting attention! Those feelings are valid! You are not being dramatic if you’re feeling super depressed or anxious! Your feelings are always Valid! I love you all and I’m so sorry this is something we are going through.

This virus is an attack on our Physical health but just as importantly it is very much so affecting our mental health!

Please feel free to add things in order to provide more resources and help for everyone!

[livingwithamouse]

The Best Fanfiction of the Decade (as curated by one idiot)

Hi Friends. 

While I don’t advertise it on here much, I have been a dedicated reader and review of fanfiction for the last 15+ years. While I mostly stick to Harry Potter, I do branch out occasionally for outstanding works. So in the spirit of everyone’s “Best of the Decade” lists, I’ve put together my favorite 15 of the last 10 years. This is not representative of all fandoms, and I’m sure there’s some outstanding ones I’ve missed. Please don’t hesitate to tell me about any I’d enjoy or are particularly good. Otherwise, enjoy!

15. Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality

I’m adding Methods of Rationality to this list not because it is one of my favorites. It’s not. The writing, while decent, is pedantic, condescending, and messy. The plot takes second-fiddle to Less Wrong’s desire to lord his intelligence over the reader. BUT. This story was one of the most influential pieces of fanfiction over the last decade. It helped bring the medium from a niche little corner of the internet into more of a mainstream idea. I just wish it had been any other story on this list.  

14.  The Queen Who Fell to Earth

I hesitated to add this, but Bob and Alyx were a pair who helped introduce me to the wider world of fanfiction and writing back in the day. This is a Harry Potter/Dragonriders of Pern crossover that spanned 2 fully complete stories and 1 incomplete. Bob fell ill and passed away before the 3rd story could be completed, but what exists is fascinating worldbuilding and attempting to answer the question: “What is a person?”

13.  Pokemon: Origin of Species

I hesitated including this story on my list, as it is incomplete and can get heavily conceptual and aggrandizing, but honestly? The chapters where Zapdos attacks Vermillion is some of the best writing I’ve found on the internet in a while. Thrilling, heartbreaking, the author was so descriptive that I found myself fervently awaiting the next chapter every month. Inspired by the story “Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality,” but set in the Pokemon-verse.

12.  Triumvirate

A realistic Pokemon story, this puts some heavy stakes on Red, Blue, and Green’s journey through Kanto. Renaerys knows how to write fight scenes across all of the fandoms they frequent (there’s a deliciously Violent Miraculous Ladybug fic they completed a little while back that did good things for me). 

11. The Broken Series

The Dresden Files is my favorite series non-Potter, and this short 5 story fanfiction series brings Dresden to a satisfying-ish conclusion. The writing is extremely in the style of Butcher, and filled the gap between Skin Game and Peace Talks for me nicely.

10. Traveler

A pokemon fic currently clocking in at over 1 Million Words (and still going), the Kanto arc of this story is one of my favorites so far. Starting out a little fast and a little weak, the author really hits their stride about 7 or 8 chapters in, and the rest of the story truly slaps. Deals heavily with the Legendaries and their effects on the world, while drawing from canon enough to keep the story familiar and interesting. Currently in the middle of a delightful Johto arc, and infrequently updated. 

9. Back to Us

The only Miraculous Ladybug fanfiction you’ll find on my list (despite me binging it like crazy recently). Adrien and Marinette are aged up 7 years after the defeat of Hawkmoth, and the story deals with them reconnecting and dealing with a new villain. Definitely an adult story, I enjoyed the hell out of the character interactions and the fight sequences.

8. The One He Feared

Taure is a masterful author and dedicated adapter of the Harry Potter universe to play with as his own. This short 4 chapter story is no exception. Harry obtains Albus Dumbledore’s memories, abilities, and magical talent from before Albus captured the Elder Wand, and uses these to take the fight to Voldemort. Incomplete (and probably never finished), the 4 chapters encompass a pretty good first arc of the story, enough for it to live here in the top 10 of my list.

7. The Shadow of Angmar

Harry Potter/Lord of the Rings crossover, where Harry is pulled by the Witch-King into Middle-Earth, and spends years being tortured by him before being freed during the Fall of Angmar. From there, Harry must travel Middle-Earth, trying to find a way to adapt their magic to his own. Steelbadger manages to capture Tolkien’s writing style fairly well, mixing him, JKR, and his own style.

6. Incorruptible: The Dementor’s Stigma

A Harry Potter Zombie story with some of the best action sequences in the business. This story elevates dementors from scary to truly terrifying, in that they are the source of a Zombie plague that has wrecked the world. If you ever wondered how magic users would deal with a Zombie Apocalypse, this is by far the best one (the scenes of the plague’s origin in Saint Mungo’s are ESPECIALLY good)

5. Renegade Cause

I spent this entire story saying “Holy Shit? Holy Shit? Holy Shit?” Harry doesn’t receive Sirius’s letter telling him to stay put after the Dementor attack, maiming and killing several aurors in his escape attempt, and things to TERRIBLY sideways from there. There is political drama in this story that is unmatched in almost any other writing I’ve found. (TW: there is a rape scene late in the story, which occurs mostly off-screen but was still super disturbing).

4. Seventh Horcrux

You want some humor? Here, amidst all the drama and despair and morbid writing, is one of the funniest stories I’ve ever read. Voldemort, while evil, is hilarious. He is thrust into Harry’s 1 year old body during the murder attempt, with all of his memories intact. What ensues is mayhem, humor, and Harry!mort attempting to not be evil. Sticks fairly true to canon personalities, minus Harry. Great Story. Great ending. It holds up.

3. A Long Journey Home

A Harry Potter genderbend, post defeat of Voldemort. On a tomb raid with Bill, Jasmine (Harry as a woman), is suddenly thrust back 1000s of years into Ancient Egypt. While this would normally be an ordeal to read, the author does something immensely clever and brings Jasmine back into the story immediately, alternating chapters between Jasmine adjusting to life after thousands of years of being alone, and Jasmine’s journey through history (the Merlin/Morgana chapters are especially enjoyable). Unfinished, and hasn’t been updated in 2 years, it is a GREAT story that stands well even though it’s incomplete.

2. The Game of Champions

Deleted by the author and unfinished, this remains the best adaptation of the Pokemon universe I have ever seen. Red and Blue are amazing protags, and the style of writing and the concepts introduced regarding Titan-class Pokemon, violence in the universe, and the plotline of the original games. The author came out of retirement at the desperate pleading of their fans to write up short summaries of what the rest of the story would be and LORD I wish they’d finished the story (ask me for where the rest is).

1. Harry Potter and the Wastelands of Time

It was tough choosing between this and The Game of Champions, but I went with Wastelands because it’s complete. A masterpiece of AU fanfiction. Harry is a Time Traveler, but instead of a single journey to the past, it’s a Groundhog Day type repetition, but without the fun and with more blood and screaming and sadness and madness and magnificent writing. While begun in 2008, it was finished in 2010, which means I’m still going to include it on this list. It’s my favorite to this day, and has a sequel, Harry Potter and the Heartlands of Time, which took FOREVER to finish and ended mildly disappointingly. But the author, Joe, moved into published novels, and can be excused. Sorta.

[swaps55]

What's your favourite character to write?

Wheeee, I’m gonna cheat and give you more than one. 

Let’s get the obvious one out of the way. Kaidan is a filthy soft-hearted paragon with integrity coming out his ears, loves carefully but deeply, is tough but kind, has been through trauma and hardship but found his way through to the other side. He’s steadfast, warm, funny if you pay attention, and the type of character who gives an excellent opportunity to observe others. So, basically, if you wanted to trap a Swaps in the wild, Kaidan Alenko is the friggin’ template you should work from to do it, Plus, when he’s with Shepard I get to go ham with old soldier imagery, which I have discovered is one of my absolute favorite things. Not surprisingly, I write Kaidan eagerly and often. Virtually all of my mShenko is exclusively from his POV. When I do it from Shepard’s it loses its magic somehow. 

The less obvious one? ASHLEY. I was never satisfied with Ashley in the games. I knew what I wished she would be, but the games never quite...gave me that. So a goal for me when I sat down to write Exordium was to create the Ashley that I’d wanted to see in the games. How surprised was I when all of her scenes basically wrote themselves? She was effortless for me to write - in fact I had to be very careful that she didn’t dominate POV characters when she shared scenes with them. She’ so fun and freeing to write. Loud, funny, confident, uninterested in worrying about what people think of her. She just...does her thing. And doesn’t apologize for it. It’s a blast. 

Honorable mention? Garrus. I love Garrus. I love him as a romance, I love him as Shepard’s best friend. In my stories I work his snark and sense of humor, and I’m always happy with the results. I very badly want to write more ME2-era fic, where he’s got Shepard’s back no matter how dark it gets, and in my ME2 canon things get really dark for Shepard. (Not Fine is my favorite example.)

Couple of snippets that I love for each character: 

Kaidan, from Celestial Navigation: 

Shepard’s body is familiar, but only as it functions in a hardsuit. Where it’s weak. Where it’s strong. How long before his amp overheats, how much punishment his barrier can take before he’s spent and vulnerable. He knows Shepard’s weak left hip – still weak, even after he’s been rebuilt from the ground up, because the man doesn’t know how to roll to the right every now and then – and how to protect him from it.

Now instead of gauntleted hands searching ablative for a breach to seal, Kaidan’s fingers skate over bare skin, find where it’s whole and where it’s broken. Instead of checking his biofeed and reading Shepard’s pulse he feels it under his palm, flesh and blood instead of numbers in his HUD.  

This is better. This is much better.

Ashley, from Exordium, Chapter 24 - Corpora Numerandum:

When Kaidan crawled his way back to groggy consciousness, he discovered he wasn’t alone. In the dark confines of Dr. Chakwas’ office there was a small rectangular glow of light from a datapad. The smell of eggs and sausage filled his nostrils, eliciting a growl from his empty stomach. The vice around his skull had loosened into a dull, throbbing ache. With a groan he rolled over and reached up to thumb the switch of a small lamp on Dr. Chakwas’ desk. In the sudden light he saw a pair of neon green boots propped up on the frame of his cot.

“Good morning, Sunshine,” Williams drawled, not looking up from her datapad. “Did you know Dr. Chakwas likes celebrity gossip? I think she has half a dozen entertainment mags on this thing.” She swiped at the screen, head cocked to the side with one eyebrow raised. “Apparently Varesh Onek and Chan’Dren Yara vas Naroma of Fleet and Flotilla fame may be a real life couple.”  She looked up at Kaidan. “See, they’re assuming I have any idea what the hell Fleet and Flotilla is.”  

“What are you doing here?” Kaidan replied, sitting up slowly as he waited for his brain to shake off some of the cobwebs. The aftermath of a migraine felt a little like what he imagined coming off a three day ryncol bender might be like.

She lifted a tray off Dr. Chakwas’ desk and removed the cover with a flourish. Beneath it was a steaming pile of scrambled eggs, sausage, and pancakes dripping with syrup. The smell was heavenly. She smirked. “The Doc said you’d be coming around soon, and I hear biotics like to binge eat.”

“You brought me breakfast?” he said, surprisingly touched by the gesture.

She raised her chin proudly. “Reconstituted it myself. I figured I’d save you the trouble of shambling through the mess to get some grub. Someone might mistake you for a plant zombie.”

“How chivalrous,” he said dryly.

“Right. Cute. Because of the knight in shining armor comment. I get it.” She pulled the tray out of reach. “You can’t have this now.”

Garrus, from Noel: 

“I bet there’s a few turian traditions that sound more than a little odd when you try to explain them to outsiders,” Liara prods.

“As odd as a single person visiting the homes of an entire planet in one evening?” Garrus asks. “Liara, we’re talking physics here.”

She gives him a withering look. “Ok. Then tell me about the turian belief in Turak Selar.”

His mandibles twitch. “You mean the spirit that snatches the souls of ill-mannered children and traps them in lizards?”

Liara is silent.

“How is that weird?”

She sighs and turns back to the monitors. “Christmas seems like a multi-layered tradition. There are even hints of fertility rituals in there, though I’m not sure humans still acknowledge those origins.”

Garrus shudders. “I really hope fertility has nothing to do with this.”

“The Christmas tradition appears to have both religious and folkloric derivations,” EDI’s offers helpfully over the comm.  “The human Christian faith honors it as a birth commemoration for the offspring of their deity. The occasion is marked with religious services, re-enactments of the child’s birth—”

The turian’s mandibles flail in alarm.

“—communal singing of relevant songs and reuniting of families. However secular influences appear prominently throughout the holiday’s history as well. The date coincides closely with a winter solstice. Several related ancient customs therefore have been adopted as part of the festivities, such as interior decorations with greenery, feasting, and gift giving.”

The AI’s voice quirks with interest on the last comment.

There’s a knock on the door, and Tali enters. “You said you wanted to see me?”

“For solidarity,” Garrus quips. “Shepard and the rest of the humans apparently neglected to tell us they secretly worship an immortal fat man who rides around in a hover sled dragged by hapless mammals, distributing presents to young children by breaking into their homes.”

Tali is so still Liara feels out the room’s gravity well to see if she’s somehow accidentally put her in a stasis field. “Is…that a joke?”

“No, Tali,” Garrus says with a sigh. “We’re actually friends with these people.”

[torestoreamends]

Mine to Make: Chapter 11

Draco gives a warning, Albus tries to figure out the future, Scorpius does some ill-advised detective work, and Delphi reveals her true colours. 

Beta’d by @abradystrix.

N.B. This fic is complete on AO3, so binge read away there if you want! Here on tumblr I’ll be posting a chapter every day until it’s all done.

Read it on AO3

*

XI  Scythe

Delphi is bored of scrambling over rocks. Her hands are cut up, her feet hurt, it’s burning hot in the sun. Nothing is worth this. Yes it’s probably reckless, but she must be far enough from the nearest town by now to just use a tiny bit of magic, surely?

She looks around at the deserted mountainside and throws caution to the winds. She doesn’t even need to draw her wand, she just bends her knees and lets the air carry her upwards.

There’s a strong updraft today, and as she spreads her arms she rises fast, soaring into the blue sky. It would be easy to fly as high as any of these mountains, but that might not endear her to any of the people she’s going to visit. Some of them are wary of magic, and such a display would be more than reckless – it would be idiotic. Instead she stays close to the ground, skimming over the rocky ground, toes brushing the occasional bit of scrubby brush that grows up here.

It’s much faster going by air. What would have taken her another hour to hike only takes ten minutes or so, and soon she’s at the deserted mountaintop she’s been heading towards since sunrise this morning. She sets down at the top of the hill and looks around, taking in the view, and searching for any sign that she’s in the right place. She turns slowly in a circle, and as she does a voice sounds behind her.

“You asked to talk to us. Talk.”

She spins round to face the person who’s spoken. He’s a tall man, wearing a soft, loose blue linen shirt and a pair of threadbare blue denim shorts. His skin is tanned and lined, weatherbeaten, with a smudge of dirt on one cheek. If Delphi didn’t know better she’d think he were a farmer or a vintner or something. Someone who spends a lot of time working out in the sun. There’s something unthreatening about him. But she does know better, and she also knows that this is someone to be threatened by.

She holds her hands up to show that they’re nowhere near her wand. “I did ask to talk to you,” she says. “I think you worked with my father, or knew people who did. I want to know if you‘d be interested in putting yourselves in an advantageous position within society.”

The man stalks around the edge of the mountaintop, eyeing her. “You are very audacious. So young, untested, inexperienced, coming here and telling us that you can give us a position in a world that will be impossible to create.”

Delphi steps towards him. “Not impossible. When my father was in power he envisioned the world I’m now looking to put in place. If he saw it then it’s possible.”

The man snorts. “Lord Voldemort was powerful, skilful, a visionary leader. Even he couldn’t make it happen. How does a little girl expect to do it?”

Delphi folds her arms, trying not to let the sting of his words show. She’s far more than a little girl. She’s a young woman, every bit as bright and talented as her father was, and she’s learned from his mistakes. “There’s a plan in place,” she says. “I don’t need you and your pack to be part of it. There are other people I could have chosen instead. But I thought it would make sense to reward your loyalty, and I know you have contacts, friends. I need to see the giants, the trolls, vampires, goblins, anyone, everyone. For this to work I need an uprising.”

The man walks across and perches on the edge of a large rock towards the side of the mountaintop. “The world is improving for people like me. It’s far from perfect of course, but the werewolves in your country, across vast swaths of Europe, are not as poorly treated as we once were. Why should we rise up with people who still think we’re filthy half breeds when we’re making progress with people who are willing to listen?”

“People are good at pretending to be tolerant,” Delphi says. “We can give you far more than they will ever be willing to. Believe me. Allies will be rewarded, and I want you as an ally.”

The man gets to his feet and comes over to her. He circles her once, and she follows him with her gaze, twisting her head to watch him.

“I have Harry Potter’s son,” she says. “He’s on my side, which means he will be on our side soon enough. That’s the most powerful weapon we could wish for. We won’t lose this time.”

The man stops in front of her and considers her for a long moment. “I’ll think about it,” he says. “We will think about it.”

“How long for?” Delphi asks, not moving an inch, solid as the rocks that make up this mountain. “I have other places to go, other people to see. This sort of offer doesn’t remain open for long.”

“I’ll be back here tomorrow. Noon. Then I’ll have a decision.”

Delphi doesn’t nod, she just looks him straight in the eye. “Noon. I’ll be here.”

The man looks back at her, then he gives a curt incline of the head before walking away. He gets several strides across the rocky ground before he pauses and glances back.

“When you say you have Harry Potter’s son...”

Delphi gives him a bright, sparkling smile, already knowing that tomorrow at noon the answer will be yes. “He thinks I’m his best friend. I haven’t even had to enchant him. He’s waiting for me at the bottom of this mountain right now.”

The man scrutinises her for a long moment, and she just smiles at him. Finally he turns his back on her and walks away, leaving her alone, windswept, triumphant, to start flying back down the mountain. She’s certain that the answer she gets at noon tomorrow will be a yes.

 Scorpius loves going to the library. It’s the one place in the world where everyone else is so wrapped up in their own business that they pay him no attention. He’s safe here, and surrounded by books, which have been his only friends for such a huge part of his life.

He weaves his way through the space, breathing in the scent of crisp paper and binding glue, and watching dust motes dance in the air. The languages section is at the back of the third floor, and he goes there a lot, mostly for fun, rarely on business. The fact that he’s on business today gives him a jittery, excitable sense of purpose. He loves the moments when he gets to feel official.

There’s no one else in the section when he gets there. A serene stillness hums in the air. Scorpius has always thought that libraries hold an incredible magic of their own. There’s so much power in all this knowledge waiting to be unleashed. The potential energy hangs in the air, potent and heady, setting all his senses on edge.

It takes him a while to find the book he’s looking for among the thousands on the shelves, but that doesn’t matter. He’s not on a deadline here. The longer he can spend in this space the better.

Part of the problem is that the book is so small and unmarked. It’s the only book on Parseltongue, stuck next to a large section that looks like Mermish. The most distinguishing feature that marks it out from the rest of the books is the fragile snakeskin jacket wrapped around it. Even if he didn’t know the exact contents, Scorpius would recognise that this is unmistakably a book about serpents.

When he finds the book he gently slides it off the shelf, careful not to damage the jacket, and carries it across to one of the tables. Opening it up, he discovers that the pages are as thin and delicate as tissue paper, and they’re yellowing and crinkled with age. He turns each page individually, with the utmost care and reverence. This book is old, probably unique, and the fading symbols inscribed on every page are beautiful, fascinating, even a little bit sinister. To damage this would be unforgivable.

Once he’s taken his time examining the book he pulls the note from his pocket and sets it down on the table. Instantly he realises that his assumption about it being Parseltongue was completely correct. The symbols on his copy of the note are identical to the twisting, writhing ones that slither across the pages of the book.

He has no idea where to start, he realises as he stares at the two. He doesn’t know this alphabet or anything. This might take hours. Maybe Searching Spells work on Parseltongue, but he’s not sure. He draws his wand and gets to work.

The spell does work but it has limited effect. Whoever wrote the note used a lot of colloquialisms and unfamiliar words. They also had rather poor spelling and grammar. It takes a while for him to piece together enough to make the note intelligible, but eventually he has most of it, with a few words missing here and there.

Dear D,

Thank you for meet two nights ahead. Will come Scythe as told.

Wish great things ahead. ASP will work out – against HP can’t wait. If only solve SM problem...

For SH and brave,

E

Scorpius frowns down at his scribbled translation and tries to make sense of it.

For starters the individual letters have to be names. D is Delphi, ASP can be no one other than Albus, HP must be Harry, and Scorpius is SM. The E and SH are more difficult, but Scorpius isn’t sure how relevant they are.

As for the rest... There’s some sort of meeting at a place called Scythe – he’s heard vaguely of a bar called that in Knockturn Alley, which would make sense. The writer is wishing Delphi luck, telling her that everything with Albus will work out, and something about him being against Harry that Scorpius doesn’t quite understand. Then there it is again, the reference to Scorpius as a problem, even though he hadn’t even met Delphi when this note was written. He must be interfering and interfering hard in whatever plans Delphi has for Albus...

The final bit, without knowing who SH is, makes no sense, and even when he goes and finds a book about former Death Eaters and runs through the list of names there he doesn’t find many people it could be. That part at least will have to remain a nonsensical mystery.

But the rest of it gives him something. Maybe if he can work out what Scythe is, whether it is that bar or not, he’ll have somewhere to search or surveil. Up until now he’s only had a house that’s now burned to the ground, so it would be good to have a concrete location. If only Albus knew where Delphi lived...

He scans the scribbled translation again, looking for anything he might have missed, but he can’t spot anything. It’s so short that it’s difficult to imagine it might contain any hidden meanings, and now he’s understood the gist of what it’s saying he doesn’t know what else to make of it.

It’s another lead. That’s what it is. Another lead, and concrete, written proof of what he overheard at the race: that he’s a problem in whatever plan Delphi has, a problem that needs solving.

He sits and gazes down at the paper for a moment more before deciding that he’s definitely not going to get anything more out of it right now, then he replicates his translation just in case he loses it, tucks the Parseltongue dictionary back on its shelf, and heads home with his mind buzzing.

 “You’re very quiet,” Draco says that night, when he and Scorpius are sitting together in the Manor library.

Scorpius has been staring into space for the last five minutes. He’s not reading or working or doing anything. His mind is a whirl of Dementors and flames and chasing footsteps, and his dad’s voice only barely breaks through, enough to make him shake himself.

“What?”

“You’re very quiet this evening,” his dad repeats. “Are you alright? You look like you’re doing an awful lot of thinking.”

“Oh,” Scorpius says. He looks down at his knees. “Sometimes it’s difficult to get my brain to turn off. It’s like someone’s cast a Sonorus Charm on my thoughts, and now they’re so loud I can’t stop hearing them.” He bows his head and rubs his temples. “I’m okay.”

“Are you sure?” Draco asks, turning the page of his book.

Scorpius shakes his head and drops his head from his hands, letting his chin flop onto his chest. “No. Not really.”

Draco hesitates for a moment, then he sets his book aside. “Would you like to talk about it?”

Scorpius lifts his head to look at his dad and blurts it all out in a rush. “Delphi, Albus’s best friend, is up to something, and I don’t think he knows, and I know she knows that I know, and I don’t think she wants me to know. I think she needs Albus for something, and I think she thinks I’m getting in the way, and I think she wants to kill me.”

Draco blinks several times, taken aback by the rush of information. He leans back in his seat and absorbs it for a moment before nodding. “That does sound like something that would stick on your mind. What makes you think she wants to-“ His voice catches in his throat and makes a jerky little movement with his hand instead of finishing the sentence.

Scorpius wraps his arms round his body and fiddles with the sleeve of his pyjama top. “There were the Dementors, there was the house she set on fire, and yesterday at Albus’s race someone was following me. I think it was her, and I think that if she’d caught me she would have done something...”

“Have you told Potter about this?” Draco asks sharply.

“He knows I’m in danger,” Scorpius says softly. “I had to persuade him not to take me off the case. He gave me a spell so I can call for backup if I need it, but I didn’t have the chance to use it yesterday...”

“You persuaded him to...” Draco passes a hand over his face. “Scorpius, for once in his life he was trying to do something sensible and you stopped him?”

“I had to!” Scorpius shifts forward in his seat, looking desperately across at his dad. “This is the most interesting case I’ll ever get. If I do well here someone might notice me, they might promote me. I need this, Dad. You know that.”

“You need to stay safe,” Draco says. “You can’t get promoted if you’re dead.”

Scorpius swallows and looks down at his knees. “I don’t think I care. If there’s something bad going on, something sinister, I can stop it. I can clear my name properly. If everything ends up well then I’ll get my life back, and if it doesn’t, then...” He gives a tiny shrug. “At least some people might feel guilty.”

There’s a second of stunned silence.

“You don’t mean that,” Draco says in a soft, hoarse voice.

Scorpius looks up at him, and when he looks at his dad’s face some of his defiance melts away. His dad looks like he’s been cursed, shock and pain written across every inch of his face.

“I don’t know,” Scorpius whispers. “I don’t know, Dad. Maybe I do.” He twists his hands together as he tries to work out how to explain it. “You can’t tell me that you don’t understand,” he says. “Of all people you know what it’s like to have the whole world hate you. If you could make all that stop, wouldn’t you?”

“It’s not worth getting yourself killed for,” Draco says, voice rising to a scalding volume that makes Scorpius reel back in his seat, cheeks burning with frustration.

He gets to his feet. “I’m going to bed. I have things to do tomorrow.”

“Scorpius,” his dad says sharply, giving him a hard look.

“What?” Scorpius asks, folding his arms. He knows he looks and sounds like a petulant child, but he doesn’t much care.

“I can’t lose you.” His dad’s voice breaks and Scorpius’s resolve crumbles, body sagging.

“I just want to be someone other than the Son of Voldemort,” he says, going across to his dad and curling up against his side on the sofa. “I want to be someone.”

His dad gathers him into a tight hug, brushing his fingers through his hair. “The best way to do that is by living,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to the top of Scorpius’s head.

Scorpius buries his face in his dad’s shoulder and closes his eyes. “I don’t want her to kill me,” he says in a broken little voice. “I want to live. I want to clear my name. I want a job I like and the boy I love, and I want people to stop hating me. That’s all I want. Isn’t the best way to get all that to solve this?”

“I can’t deny that,” Draco admits, rubbing a hand down Scorpius’s back. “What’s the next step?”

Scorpius sits up and shifts far enough from his dad that he can look at him properly. He crosses his legs and messes with a hole in the toe of one of his socks. “I found this note and translated it from Parseltongue.”

Draco raises his eyebrows, and Scorpius can tell he’s impressed. “From Parseltongue? Go on...”

“It mentions this place, at least I think it’s a place, Scythe? I’d like to go and have a look there, maybe ask some questions, try to find out how Delphi’s connected to it. I need to know more about what she’s planning with all these people, what she wants Albus for.”

Draco frowns. “Scythe... There’s a bar in Knockturn Alley called The Scythe.”

Scorpius nods enthusiastically. “That’s what I thought! I was going to ask you if there was anywhere else it could be instead.”

Draco shakes his head. “I can’t think of anything...” He looks at Scorpius. “Are you really going to go to Knockturn Alley alone? The Scythe isn’t a nice place to be. It looks welcoming enough, but things happen there. There’s magic in the air that’ll numb your mind. You won’t be as sharp. People know that, and they take advantage. If Delphi has been arranging meetings there then she must know it well, and she must know what it can do for her. I can’t stress enough that you need to be exceptionally careful.”

Scorpius nods. “I will be. I might not even go in. There’s stuff I can do from outside. I promise I’ll be sensible.”

“Don’t get caught sneaking around either,” Draco says. “People know you, Scorpius. You’re a familiar face. You’re my son too. I know you have enemies among the law abiding population, but you have more among the sort of people who frequent The Scythe. Don’t give anyone the chance to do anything to you.”

Scorpius sighs. “I know, Dad. I know how to take care of myself.”

“I know you do, but it always bears repeating.” Draco reaches out and puts a hand on his shoulder. “I want you back in one piece.”

Scorpius smiles and collapses against his dad’s side, hugging him round the middle. “Don’t worry about me. I’m a well-trained Ministry official now. I’m not your little boy anymore.”

Draco gathers him in, squeezing him tight. “I am painfully aware of that. Gone are the days when I could cast Cushioning Charms on every corner and hard surface in the house to catch you when you fell. You have to cast your own Cushioning Charms now.”

Scorpius’s smile widens and he looks up at his dad. “I’m actually really good at Cushioning Charms, you know. They’re one of my favourites.”

Draco kisses him on the forehead and strokes his hair. “Will you go tomorrow?”

Scorpius nods. “In the afternoon. I have to be back by six. I have a date with Albus.” He grins and gives a happy little wriggle in his seat.

Draco tuts. “Another one? You see more of him than anyone else these days.”

Scorpius pokes his dad in the side. “I thought you wanted me to get out more?”

“I’m very happy for you,” Draco says. “But he’s still a Potter, and you’re definitely obsessed.”

Scorpius gives a happy sigh and rests his head on his dad’s shoulder. “I might be a little bit. I’m in love with him.”

“I’d noticed,” Draco says drily, looking down at Scorpius, who grins up at him. “Have you thought about what you’ll do if Albus is a key part of Delphi’s plans? If he’s a willing participant, even?”

The smile fades from Scorpius’s face and he looks down at his hands and shrugs. “I don’t think he knows what she’s up to... I’m expecting- I don’t know what I’m expecting. Nothing good. But the thing I’m most worried about is trying to persuade him that she’s up to something. She’s still his best friend. She gave him everything he has. It must be hard to hear that your best friend is...” He shakes his head.

“I suppose you can worry about that later,” Draco says gently. “But if it helps, you’re trustworthy, and I have no doubt that Albus knows that. I’m sure he’ll listen to you.”

Scorpius bows his head. “I hope so.”

Draco ruffles his hair and gives his shoulders a gentle squeeze. “Where are you going for your date?” He asks, and Scorpius is grateful to his for changing the subject.

“I’m taking him to that restaurant we used to go to with mum,” Scorpius says. “You know the really nice one? Down near Godric’s Hollow?”

“I know the one,” Draco says. “I took your mother there for one of our first dates. I think that was the night I realised I wanted to marry her.”

Scorpius reaches across and takes his dad’s left hand, so he can inspect the ring on his fourth finger. “I don’t want to lose Albus again,” he murmurs. “I think I want him in my life forever now. He’s special.”

Draco snorts. “Special is certainly one word for it.”

Scorpius drops his hand and bats him on the arm. “Dad! What do you have against Albus?”

Draco gives him a look. “Is that a serious question? Let’s think. He was a self-centred idiot for years, he abandoned you, he broke your-“

“Okay okay okay.” Scorpius waves a hand for his dad to stop. “I know all that. I know...” He looks at his dad for a moment, thinking. “What does he have to do to get you to change your mind? He’s earned my trust. How does he earn yours?”

“That’s a good question,” Draco says softly, thoughtfully. “I suppose I’d need to see proof that he’s different now. That he truly cares for you, and that he’s trying to make amends.” He points at Scorpius. “And you can’t tell him that. I want it from him. Just from him; because he’s realised there’s something that needs fixing.”

Scorpius nods. “I suppose that sounds fair... I won’t tell him. But I hope you get what you want from him, Dad. I really do. I want him to be welcome in this family one day.”

“I hope so too,” Draco says.

 Albus knocks on the doorframe of the open backdoor and steps over the threshold. “Mum?” He calls.

The house is quiet, and he feels slightly strange just letting himself in, but he must have been told ten times in the last week that this is his home, so maybe he can just go in...

He puts the biscuit tin and bunch of flowers he’s holding down on the table and puts the kettle on to boil, then he perches on the edge of the table and swings his feet as he gazes out at the sunny garden. The air is warm and scented with freshly mown grass. A gentle breeze ruffles his hair. Everything is peaceful, and he relaxes his shoulders, truly feeling like he’s home.

“Oh, hello sweetheart.”

He jumps so hard he nearly falls off the table as his mum comes up and puts a hand on his back, planting a kiss on his cheek.

“I didn’t hear you,” he gasps. “You snuck up on me.”

She gives him a sparkling smile. “I didn’t hear you either. How long have you been here?”

“Just a few seconds,” he says. “I brought you these.” He hands her the flowers and picks up the biscuit tin. “The flowers are for you. I, um, I made the biscuits myself, so you might not want to eat them, but I think they’re quite good. I used dad’s recipe.”

His mum sighs and breathes in the scent of the flowers. “Well this is a wonderful surprise. I’m not sure James even knows what flowers are, and he’s certainly never baked us anything. You can definitely come and visit again.”

Albus smiles and hops down from the table. “I thought I should start making up for not being here, and biscuits and flowers is the best I can do. I put the kettle on as well.”

Ginny hugs him. “You have nothing to make up for.”

“I do,” Albus says. “Do you want milk? Sugar?”

He makes tea for both of them, insisting on it, and refusing to let his mum help with anything. In the end she seems to get his point and starts putting her flowers in water and investigating the biscuit tin. While he finishes the drinks she leans against the kitchen counter and makes appreciative noises as she munches on one of the bits of shortbread, licking her fingers when she’s done.

“Was it okay?” Albus asks bring her tea over.

“Absolutely delicious,” she says, taking the mug from him. “Thank you. I’ll have to lock them away so no one else can find them.”

Albus laughs and hops back onto the kitchen table, setting his own mug down next to him to let it cool.

“What did you want to talk about?” His mum asks, taking a sip of her own tea and looking at him. The sunlight dances through her hair, dust motes glittering around her, and she looks as warm and approachable as always. Kind, caring, and if there was anyone in the world Albus was going to talk to it would be her, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

“I’ve been thinking,” he says carefully, trying to choose the right words. “About what happens next, you know, for me. After everything’s over.”

His mum takes another sip of tea and sets her mug down on the side next to her. “This is about the league,” she says. “Isn’t it?”

Albus nods. “Right. It’ll stop, and then... I don’t know what then. That’s the problem.” He leans his weight on his hands and looks at his mum. “How did you decide what to do when you stopped playing Quidditch?”

His mum sighs and leans back, folding her arms. “When I decided to stop playing it was my choice. I could have kept going, but I wanted to spend time with you and James and Lily. The writing was an extension of that. I was done playing but I didn’t have to let go of what I loved, and it was always nice to have something to do, somewhere to go. I imagine for you it will be quite different – you’re not choosing to leave, are you? If the league kept going, would you keep racing?”

Albus shrugs. “I’m not sure... Stopping seems so scary, I don’t know what else my life has in it; I don’t know what else I can do. I’ve always been so rubbish at everything, Mum. I don’t think I can do anything else that’s not this.”

“Now that’s not true and you know it,” she says, shooting a hard look at him. “You didn’t struggle in school because you weren’t talented. You struggled because you were unhappy and anxious. And even struggling like you did you still got your Es in potions and charms, and you passed plenty of the other subjects. You’re a lot of things, Albus, but rubbish is absolutely not one of them.”

Albus looks down at his knees. “Even if I’m not rubbish I’m still lost. I spent seven years thinking I’d found how I wanted my future to be and now I realise I was completely wrong. It was such a waste of time.”

“You needed those seven years,” his mum says gently, getting to her feet and coming over to sit beside him. “That was your time.”

“It was stupid to run away,” Albus mutters. “Another rubbish mistake.”

His mum puts an arm round him and gives him a tight squeeze. “Mistakes are important. Mistakes are how you learn. If life was perfect it would be boring and we wouldn’t grow.” She pulls away and looks at him. “Albus? I can see how much you’ve grown since you’ve been away. I can see how much you’ve changed. And now a lot is happening all at once. Give yourself time to get used to it. You don’t need all the answers straight away. You don’t need to know the exact shape of your life before you’ve lived it. I don’t think anyone ever does, and that’s part of the fun of it.”

“But I don’t know what I’m doing,” Albus mutters, messing with his fingers.

“Can I tell you a secret?” His mum asks, giving him a gentle nudge on the arm.

He looks at her. “Yes?”

She smiles. “Neither do I.”

“But you’re you,” he says. “You’re my mum. You’re Ginny Potter.”

She laughs and hugs him. “I know.” She kisses his temple and rubs his back as she holds onto him. “You’ll work it out,” she says. “You have time, plenty of time, to work out what you want to do next. Trust me. And it’s okay to be scared too. But if there’s anything I can do to help you, if there’s anything your dad can do, we’ll do it.”

He leans against her, feeling very small and miserable and confused. “What if I never figure it out?” He asks.

“Some people don’t,” she says, looking down at him. “The only thing that matters is that you’re happy.”

“Lost and happy,” he murmurs. “Sounds impossible.”

“Think about it,” she advises. “Don’t panic just yet. And one day you might just find that things have fallen into place.”

He looks up at her for a moment, then he nods. “Okay...”

She gives him another squeeze, then gets up and goes to get her cup of tea from across the kitchen. “Didn’t you take Scorpius to a race last night? How did it go?”

Albus starts telling her all about it, and as he does a contented happiness blossoms inside him. Even if the rest of his chaotic life makes him feel lost, Scorpius helps him feel found, and he tells his mum so. He tells her about the date, about winning the races, about the date tomorrow night too. He could talk about Scorpius forever, and she seems quite happy to listen.

When he’s finally exhausted everything he can think of to tell her about his boyfriend, she tells him about the family, filling him in on what Lily and James have been up to in the last week or so. It makes him miss his little sister more than ever, and it must show on his face because his mum pauses and scrutinises him.

“Why don’t you come for dinner,” she says. “While Lily is here. We can have a family dinner. I’ll get James to come too, and I’ll make Hermione kick your dad out of the office for a day. How about on Sunday?”

Albus thinks about the idea of being in the same room with all his family. It’s overwhelming, but he likes the thought of it. He likes the idea of being part of the family again. That alone sounds wonderful.

“Okay,” he says, then nods and smiles as the concept sinks in. “Yes. I’d like that. Thank you.”

She beams at him. “It’ll be wonderful to have everyone back together again, even if it is just for one evening.”

“Can Dad make his Yorkshires?” Albus asks, mouth watering just at the thought.

“I’ll ask him.” His mum comes over and rubs his arm, then she hugs him. “I’m so glad you want to come. I’m happy you’re back.”

Albus squeezes her tight and buries his face in her shoulder. “Me too,” he murmurs. “Me too.”

 Scorpius sets off from the Manor at noon. His dad is already out so he doesn’t say goodbye. He sets off alone down the driveway, already dressed for his date with Albus. This way he won’t have to come home and change if investigating takes a little longer than planned, and he won’t be nearly so recognisable without his sky blue Ministry robes. He also takes a potion to temporarily change the colour of his hair, making it not quite bright red but close to it; he just hopes it will wear off before his date like it’s meant to. Besides the clothes and the hair, all he has with him are his wand and Delphi’s note, folded up in the inside pocket of his jacket.

At the end of the drive, he taps the gates with his wand so they lock behind him, then he inhales and turns on the spot. Next thing he knows he’s falling sideways and tumbling over the bins at the back of the Leaky Cauldron. Not his finest Apparition moment, he thinks as he picks himself up and dusts itself off, glancing around to make sure no one has seen. Thankfully there’s no one around, so he stands the bins upright and heads off into Diagon Alley.

It’s a Thursday afternoon so it’s not particularly busy, which is nice. The few people who are there don’t pay him much attention, and he wonders if perhaps it’s because for once his face isn’t emblazoned across all the newspaper stands in the street. Today he’s been temporarily replaced by Hermione giving a speech about vampire legislation.

He slips down the street, enjoying his anonymity. This is one of the first times ever that he’s been able to have a proper look around. The circumstances aren’t ideal, but he’ll take the opportunity as it comes.

Curious, he skirts close to the Apothecary, peering into the barrels of frog spawn, beetle eyes, and something that looks like threads of pure starlight, which can only be unicorn hair. Next he passes the Owl Emporium, pausing briefly to talk to a tiny Burrowing Owl, that glares at him and clicks her beak irritably when he stops to say hello. The Tawny Owl next door is far more friendly, and obligingly turns her head so he can stroke the soft feathers on her back.

A little way further up the street is Quality Quidditch Supplies. There’s a new racing broom in the window that Scorpius has been meaning to look at for a while, but he’s never dared to stop long enough. Today, though, he stands and stares in through the window at it, admiring the clean, sharp lines and perfect aerodynamics. The holly wood handle gleams, and the arrow-straight sweep of the tail is breath-taking. Scorpius can only imagine how good Albus would look on that thing; how fast he’d be. He wonders if Albus has seen it. For all these years has Albus been coming here to gawk at brooms? He must surely take a professional interest, musn’t he?

Scorpius rests his hands on the window ledge and gazes at the broom, lost in his own little world. In his mind he can see Albus on this broom outstripping everyone as he dives. He can see Albus dancing round a corner, brushing past flames with ease. He can see Albus lying flat against the handle, urging the broom on to ever faster speeds. And he can see Albus just sitting astride the broom, hair ruffled, a big grin on his face, all clad in dragon hide, which hugs every inch of his body and does wonders for his magnificent-

Scorpius shakes himself and pushes off the window ledge, cheeks heating up. He glances around to see if anyone has noticed him standing there, whether anyone might somehow know what he was just thinking about, but no one is paying any attention to him. He’s definitely safe.

He makes himself walk away from the beautiful broom, but he glances back at it as he does, making a mental note to mention it to Albus over dinner later.

After that he stays on task as he walks the length of the rest of the street. He’s already spent too long being distracted. At this rate, he won’t even make it to The Scythe before he has to leave for his date.

It doesn’t take him long after that to reach the entrance to Knockturn Alley. He checks that he’s still not being watched, then he turns into the shadows of the alley and sets off towards The Scythe.

There was plenty to be curious about walking down Diagon Alley, and there’s no less to be curious about down here, with its abundance of potion suppliers, antiques shops, and apothecaries, but this isn’t the sort of place to linger and browse. He keeps his head down and walks with purpose past the shops, not wanting to attract any attention. His dad has always taught him that in Knockturn Alley, whether you’re on business or not, you make it look like you have an urgent appointment. Avoid eye contact, walk like you own the place, stop for no one and nothing.

Scorpius knows he doesn’t have his dad’s presence or confidence here. He doesn’t really have it anywhere. But he does his best, even though goosebumps are rising on his arms now he’s in the shade, and he feels like someone is watching him.

Don’t look back, he tells himself, rubbing his arms. It’s just your imagination.

He winds his way down the street. His ankles turn as he picks his way across the cobbles, and he has to pause a couple of times to make sure he hasn’t sprained anything.

Even though it’s midday and sunny, the buildings are so high and so warped that they lean in over the street, blocking out the sunlight. If they were any more twisted or crumbling the facades would probably meet, and the buildings would become one. Knockturn Alley would become a tunnel, full of even more shadows than it already is. It’s not a great thought, and Scorpius shivers and glances up, searching for any glimpse of the sky. There’s only the tiniest slither of it up there, just visible between the rooftops.

The Scythe is a bit further into the alley, on a wider section of road that’s not quite so shadowy. The buildings here are a bit neater and tidier, better kept. The window displays are less dusty, and the owners clearly take pride in making a good impression. Scorpius knows only too well that there are plenty of people that frequent places like this who have money to spare, and this part of the alley is clearly aimed at them.

Despite its surroundings, The Scythe itself still has a peeling sign outside, and a dingy, grim-looking entrance that’s bathed in shadow. When Scorpius steps inside he finds himself in a cool entrance area. A man is standing behind a podium, staring down at whatever paperwork he’s doing and pointedly ignoring Scorpius.

This is the point where Draco would assert his dominance and right to exist in this space, and Scorpius attempts to do the same. He folds his arms and draws himself up to his full, impressive height. He knows he looks good in his date clothes too. Perhaps he’s not as attention-grabbing as Albus would be, but he looks well put together, the sort of young patron with money to splash around that this sort of place survives on. He clears his throat and fixes the man with a steady, patient look that clearly says he’s waiting.

The effect is immediate. The man looks up at him, and leans on the podium.

“How can I help you?” He asks.

“I’m here for a meeting with a friend,” Scorpius lies. “Delphini Black. I believe she’s got a room here, and she asked to meet me.”

The man scrutinises him for a moment. “We don’t have a Delphini Black staying here,” he says.

Scorpius tries to hide his surprise and disappointment. Perhaps it really was just a meeting Delphi was arranging. Perhaps she has no other connections here. Perhaps there’s nothing to find.

“That was the name she gave me,” he says. All isn’t lost yet, he’s not giving up that easily. “I know she sometimes goes by pseudonyms. Maybe she’s given you a different name.”

There’s another pause and a long hard look that Scorpius meets, cool and calm, giving nothing away. Finally the man looks down and shuffles some papers on his podium.

“We’ve got a Delphini Lestrange,” he says. “She’s just gone out, but she’ll be back soon. You can wait for her in the bar.”

Lestrange. Delphini Lestrange. Scorpius knows he looks like he’s just been hit by the Hogwarts Express, but he tries to rearrange his face back into a more neutral expression as he nods. “Yes,” he says. “Lestrange. That sounds about right.”

Lestrange. What does that mean? Who is this woman? How has Albus become best friends with a Lestrange?

“The bar’s through there,” the man says, pointing to a blacked out door to one side of the podium.

“She told me to wait by her room,” Scorpius tries, throwing caution to the winds.

The man smiles and points to the door again. “Don’t push your luck. She’ll be back in a bit. When she arrives I’ll tell her you’re here.”

Shit.

Scorpius considers lying and telling the man he wants to surprise her, but he knows he’s already given away too much. He doesn’t want to get thrown out. Instead he takes the more sensible option and gives the man a smile and nod.

“That’d be great, thanks. Tell her Rookwood’s waiting. Hyperion Rookwood.” Then he rushes away through the door before he can be questioned anymore.

The bar itself is deserted. The room is dark, bathed in a deep purple enchanted light, and it takes Scorpius’s eyes a moment to adjust. A sort of thick, sweet smelling smoke hangs in the air, and Scorpius wonders if this is the enchantment his dad was talking about. If it is, it’s impossible not to breathe it in, but at least he knows it’s going to dull his senses. He’s prepared and he knows he needs to be careful.

He approaches the bar because he’s not sure what else to do. Somehow he’ll have to blag his way upstairs. Maybe he can pretend to have asthma and ask if he can wait somewhere else away from the smoke, or-

“Afternoon,” the barman says, leaning forward across the bar so he becomes visible past the smoke. “I wasn’t expecting to see someone like you in here today.”

Scorpius goes over to him, hesitant, wondering if something’s given him away. “Someone like me?” he asks uncertainly.

The man smiles and nods. “Exactly. You know,” he gestures to Scorpius, gaze sweeping the length of his body. “Someone young, gorgeous, clearly not an alcoholic.” He takes another look at Scorpius. “You’re not an alcoholic, are you?”

Scorpius shakes his head and smiles back, uncertain and a little disarmed by how nice this man is being. “Not that I know of. I, um... I’m here for a meeting.”

The man nods. “Business?”

“Meeting a friend,” Scorpius says. He sits down at the bar and gestures to the drinks, trying to look like he knows what he’s doing. “What do you recommend?”

The barman picks up a bottle and shoots him a smile that’s undoubtedly flirtatious. “A Love Potion.”

Scorpius blinks at him, taken aback. “Not an actual love potion? Because I don’t really want to fall in love with my friend when she gets here...”

The man laughs. “Why, not your type?”

“Not... exactly,” Scorpius says. “I mean, she’s lovely, but I prefer...” He thinks of Albus clad in dragon hide, and leans his chin on his hand, smiling. “I prefer something a little different.”

“This isn’t an actual love potion,” the barman says. “You might fall in love with my cocktails though. I hope you’re prepared for that.”

“Go on,” Scorpius says, the heady scent of the room permeating his brain as he watches the barman opening bottles and pouring drinks. “Seduce me.” The second he says it he realises how stupid it sounded, and he buries his face in his hands with a groan. Thankfully the barman just laughs.

“For that,” the barman says, “beautiful, ridiculous man whose name I don’t know, it’s on the house.”

“Hyperion,” Scorpius says instantly. “Hyperion Rookwood. That’s my name.”

“Hyperion,” the man repeats. “Nice name. I’m Leo.” He finishes shaking up the cocktail and pours it out, then places it on top of the bar, adding a sprinkle of something that shimmers in the light as a final touch. “Who‘s your friend, Hyperion? I’m curious to know who has the honour of spending time with you.”

“Delphini Lestrange,” Scorpius says, deciding that as much as he knows he should tell this man to stop openly flirting with him – that he’s very not single thank you very much, and that he’s only going along with it because the weird smoke is dulling his senses – this might actually be useful. He still needs to get to Delphi’s room, and maybe this is how he does it.

“Have you met her?” He asks. “She stays here.”

Leo nods. “I have met her. She doesn’t like a Love Potion, she drinks Augurey Tears.”

Scorpius frowns, wrong-footed again. “Not... actual Augurey Tears? That’s a cocktail too?”

“Not just a pretty face then,” Leo says, shooting Scorpius a smile, and Scorpius doesn’t know if he’s being made fun of now or not.

“I’m not,” Scorpius confirms. “Why, did you think I was?”

Leo shrugs. “You’re here on a Thursday afternoon, dressed very nicely for a meeting with a girl who’s not your type. That to me says you’re someone who likes to be looked at.”

Scorpius shakes his head. “I definitely don’t like to be looked at.”

“Why’s that then?”

“Most people look at me the wrong way,” Scorpius says. “No, I just have a date. Later. After my business meeting.”

Leo sighs. “You’re a taken man. That’s a shame to hear, Hyperion Rookwood.”

“Do I have to give the Love Potion back now?” Scorpius asks.

Leo laughs. “No. It’s yours.” He leans in close and lowers his voice. “I recommend drinking it, Hyperion. It makes you immune to the smoke. You’ll need it if you’re going to talk to her. Someone who’s more than a pretty face would know that.”

Scorpius frowns at him. His face is still partially obscured by the smoke and harsh lighting, even though they’re not far apart. “How do I know you’re not trying to poison me, or make it worse?”

Leo’s smile widens, and he shrugs and picks up a cloth and starts cleaning glasses. “Definitely not just a pretty face. You decide for yourself, Hyperion.”

Scorpius looks down at the drink on the bar in front of him. There’s a pink powder glittering on top, and the drink underneath is a soft peach colour. It looks delicious, but he doesn’t trust it. He doesn’t trust anything here, not this man, not Delphi. This is dangerous, and he should probably leave, but now he knows Delphi comes here often he can’t just walk away. He’ll never be able to come back if he does. He’s in too deep with his lie now.

“What’s this on top?” He asks, brushing his finger through the dust.

Leo glances at it. “Pearl Dust,” he says. “The key ingredient in any Love Potion.”

“Isn’t Pearl Dust rare?” Scorpius asks, licking his finger. He gets a soft, fruity flavour, and the slight tingle of the dust.

“Rare and expensive,” Leo says. “But delicious. And important. It allows your mind to be shaped however you wish.”

I want my mind to be clear, Scorpius thinks, and immediately it feels as though a haze has lifted from him. He blinks twice and looks at Leo. “You weren’t lying.”

Leo nods. “You’re welcome. Be careful with that Lestrange, she’s vicious.”

“She stays here, you said,” Scorpius says, taking a sip of the Love Potion.

Leo nods. “Upstairs. Room Three. She’s been here for... forever really. I mean she comes and goes, she disappeared for a whole year recently, but she always returns and it’s always Room Three. No one else goes in there.”

Room Three. Scorpius’s insides leap with triumphant excitement, but he keeps sipping his cocktail and tries to look casual. “When you say she’s been here forever...?”

“Longer than I’ve been here,” Leo says. “And I’ve been here for years. She’s a permanent fixture. Like a particularly savage family cat.”

Scorpius smiles and nods. “I can imagine. Does she at least keep the mice away?”

“She likes to play with her food,” Leo says, putting a glass away on a shelf behind the bar. “If she got hold of you you’d probably wish you were dead.”

“You’re almost making me regret meeting her,” Scorpius says, finishing his cocktail and sliding the glass back to Leo. “Thank you for this. It was delicious.”

“Just make sure you’re on her side and you’ll be fine,” Leo says, taking the glass.

Scorpius nods. “Is there a loo around here?”

Leo points to a door across the bar. Now Scorpius has finished the drink, the fog seems considerably less dense, and he can see further through the room. Before he wouldn’t have been able to see the door, but he can now.

“Down the stairs, turn to the left.”

Scorpius gets to his feet. “Thanks. I’ll be back in a minute.” He hurries across the bar, lets himself through the door, and finds himself facing a set of stairs going down, and another set of stairs going up. He goes up, in search of Room Three.

The first landing he comes to has just one unmarked door on it, right at the top of the stairs. He leaves it, not wanting to waste time, and heads down the corridor to where a spiral staircase curves away upwards.

He tiptoes up the creaky stairs, trying to be as quiet as possible, and when he gets to the top he peers up and down the landing before he steps out onto it. There’s no one around. It’s the middle of the day, so anyone staying here must be out by now. Everything is still and quiet. Even the cleaners must have finished their work.

Scorpius follows the corridor, looking at the doors. He finds rooms One and Two easily, but it takes him a moment to realise that Room Three is tucked away out of sight and around a corner, well away from the stairs. When Scorpius tries the handle he’s not surprised to find that the door is locked.

After glancing around again to confirm that there’s definitely no one in the corridor with him, he slips his wand from the pocket of his trousers and points it at the door lock.

He’s about to do a simple unlocking charm, but something stops him. He doesn’t know Delphi that well, but there’s every chance that she’s paranoid enough to have put security charms on her door. Any simple spell will give him away in a heartbeat. Something more complicated will probably work a lot better for his purposes here.

He pauses for a moment, considering his options, before deciding to go for a fiddly little spell that reads the shape of the lock and creates a phantom key to fit it. It’s the spell that fools all the most basic and some of the more complex security charms. He’s heard Harry enthusing about it to the Aurors too many times to ignore it.

He crouches down and lays the tip of his wand just on the edge of the lock, and starts muttering the incantation. It takes a good minute or so to complete, but when he does, a white, smoke-like substance floats from the end of his wand and into the lock. After a moment it coalesces into a solid shape, and when Scorpius slides it fully into the keyhole and turns it, there’s a soft click and the door swings inwards. Perfect.

Scorpius nudges the door open with his shoulder and stands on the threshold, looking into the room. It’s very bare, so bare that it almost looks uninhabited. The only thing indicating that anyone lives here is the open window, a bag strap poking out from under the bed, and a pair of shoes tucked neatly into the corner. Aside from that there’s nothing. Even the desk looks unused, with not so much as a single quill on top.

Scorpius sweeps his wand across the whole room. “Specialis Revelio.”

A beat of silence. Nothing happens.

Scorpius tries another couple of spells to check for traps or any other dark magic but there’s nothing here that he knows how to detect. Either the room is perfectly safe or there’s some darker, better hidden enchantment here. But if he wants to go exploring then he doesn’t have much choice but to assume that his detection spells are up to scratch. He cautiously steps into the room and turns around on the spot, trying to decide what to have a look at first.

In the end he goes for the bag under the bed. He carefully eases it out and starts going through it, making sure to replace everything exactly where he found it. There’s nothing much in there of interest. It must be her kit bag, because it’s got a dragon hide jacket in there, a water bottle, and a couple of tiny bottles of potions and salves that must be for healing.

He nudges the bag back under the bed and goes through the bedside drawers next. These too contain nothing of much interest. There are a couple of ordinary books that don’t reveal any hidden messages when Scorpius casts spells on them. Aside from that there’s very little in there at all, and he quickly gives up on those and goes to the desk.

When he touches the handle of the top drawer, he instantly recoils as an electric shock crackles through his hand and up his arm. He wriggles his fingers and looks at the handle. Sparks of magic flicker up and down it, and he points his wand at it and casts Finite Incantatem. Instantly the sparks crackle brighter, flaring up and arching out towards him. He dives back and tries a couple of other more powerful spells, eventually succeeding in killing the enchantment so the sparks fade and die.

He gives it a second before he inches across to the desk again, and this time when he tries to open the drawer nothing stops him. It slides open easily, with just a little rattle, and inside he finds a single notebook and a quill.

He takes the notebook out and quickly checks the second drawer, but there’s nothing inside. A quick check of the rest of the table doesn’t reveal any hidden drawers or cupboards, and there’s nothing much on the table top besides a couple of pieces of blank parchment. The notebook is the best he has to go on.

He flips it open to a random inside page. It’s blank, so he flicks through the pages, running his thumb over the corners of each page so they rifle past. The whole book seems to be blank. But if it was really blank why would Delphi have protected it with a complicated bit of magic? Why would she bother?

He leans in close and presses his nose to the page, trying to see any trace of writing. There’s nothing to indicate that anything has ever been written here. No sign of anything erased of vanished. But there has to be something.

“Specialis Revelio,” he mutters, giving it a sharp tap with his wand. Nothing happens.

He picks the book up and inspects the front and back covers. There’s nothing written on either, no instruction for revealing the text or anything. But there must be a key. Perhaps he has to use Parseltongue to ask it to open or something, not that he knows any Parseltongue. Or perhaps this is like Riddle’s diary, and he has to write in the book.

He picks up a quill and lets it drop on the first page, but after several seconds it becomes clear that the ink isn’t going to sink into the paper. It blots the surface, leaving a big black mark. Still the book does nothing.

Sighing, he steps back and stares at the book. If he does have to use Parseltongue then this is going to be hopeless. He doesn’t know any, and even if he did it’s supposed to be impossible to learn. If only he’d kept the dictionary, then he might have had a chance.

He pulls the folded up note from his pocket and looks at it, trying to work out if there’s any way of using it, any hints at the translations of the words. He’s made a few scrawlings in the margins while he’s been working on his translation, and for one of the words he’s jotted down a rough pronunciation guide.

He tests out the sounds, and he knows he sounds absolutely ridiculous. If Albus were here and the situation less dangerous, they’d probably both have a good laugh about it. But right now he’s alone and Delphi should be back any minute, so he has to get on with it.

The sounds – they’re not really words to him – feel strange in his mouth, and he has to practice them a couple of times before he can even begin to work out what he’s doing. There’s a lot of hissing and spitting, and it sounds more like he’s mimicking an angry cat than trying to talk snake language. Finally he runs his fingers through his hair and decides that, unless the diary is designed to self-destruct when someone speaks terrible Parseltongue at it, he loses nothing by having a go.

He braces his hands on the desk and leans in close, looking down at the cover of the diary. There’s a little crest embossed in gold in one corner, and at the centre of the crest is a snake. He looks at the snake and tries to imagine that he’s talking to it.

His first attempt comes out all wrong. He gives a sharp hiss makes it sound like he’s being strangled, and spit flies everywhere, all over his face and the desk.

“Whoops,” he mutters wiping away the little flecks with his fingers.

He sighs and stares down at the book again. For some reason he gets the distinct feeling that Albus would probably be a lot better at this than he is, but sadly Albus isn’t here and he has no real option besides having another go.

His second attempt is a little bit better. It doesn’t get the diary to respond, but at least he doesn’t spit all over himself, and he thinks he might be starting to get his mouth round the words.

Attempt three is his best yet, and the diary starts to glow with a faint purple light. He flips open the cover and sees that the faintest outlines of words are starting to appear, shining luminescent in the strange glow. They’re not quite readable yet but they’re getting there, so he tries the Parseltongue again and this time, finally, the book is fully convinced. Purple light bursts out of it, and the room seems to dim around him, throwing the letters and words within into sharp relief.

He claps a hand over his mouth to stop himself cheering out loud and pulls the book closer to him. Thankfully the writing in here isn’t Parseltongue. It’s English, written in a messy scrawl that’s just about legible enough for Scorpius to read it.

The diary, and it is definitely a diary now that the text has been fully revealed, takes up almost the whole book. There are a few pages still blank at the end, but other than that everything is full of Delphi’s scribblings.

The book seems to date all the way back to 2018, and when Scorpius starts reading he realises with a jolt that Albus is mentioned on the first page.

Watched youngest Potter boy on Platform 9 3/4. Later discovered he was sorted into Slytherin. Something to keep an eye on?

When he flips further through he finds that many of the entries mention Albus. In fact the diary charts almost every one of the events Albus has told Scorpius about over the past week and a half. It’s like seeing the past seven years of Albus’s life charted in front of him. Even stranger is seeing it from Delphi’s point of view, with notes of Albus’s behaviour and attitude, tiny hints of triumph when she’s getting what she wants from him, and frustration when she’s not.

And then he starts to find the other little bits and pieces, things from Delphi’s own life, things that he can’t imagine Albus even knows. He finds notes from the last year spent in Europe. She had meetings with werewolves, giants, trolls, and those are just the ones mentioned that he spots as he skims. Her writing grows increasingly excited as her plan comes together, but he still can’t find what the plan is. Perhaps she wasn’t stupid enough to put it down in writing.

He flicks feverishly through the pages, wanting to find whatever it is he’s looking for and copy it before he needs to leave, because time must be running short by now.

“Come on come on,” he mutters, running a hand through his hair and searching faster and faster. When he gets really frustrated he taps his wand on the page and searches the book for ‘plan’ but he’s not surprised when nothing comes back.

In the end he stumbles across the truth by chance. He turns a page too fast and hard and tears the corner. As he swears and casts Reparo to fix it, he spots Delphi’s words, a frustrated little musing to herself.

I hate him. If I could kill him I would, but I need him. It will be far more fun with him involved. Use the boy to lure Potter in, son kills father, and in the chaos that follows I take the place that should have been my father’s almost 30 years ago. Fate, just as the Augurey prophesied. I am Voldemort’s daughter and this world is my birthright.

Scorpius reels back in pure horror. He blinks several times to make sure his eyes aren’t deceiving him, but every time he does he sees the words as if they’re burned into the insides of his eyelids.

I am Voldemort’s daughter.

Even though his hands are shaking, even though he wants to run a hundred miles from this place and drag Albus to safety with him, there’s one last thing he has to do before he leaves. He draws his wand to make a copy of the page, but just as he does he hears a floorboard creak behind him and he freezes.

“Did you find something interesting to read?” Delphi asks.

Scorpius’s grip tightens around his wand and he puts a hand on the edge of the desk to stop his knees buckling. Caught in the act. And this time there’s no Albus to come and save him.

He turns slowly to face her. “Delphi,” he says brightly. “I just thought I’d-“

“Petrificus Totalus.”

His body goes stiff and he falls straight backwards, slamming the middle of his back against the edge of the table. He gives a groan of pain and closes his eyes. His wand is still in his hand but he can’t move to wave it, so it’s worse than useless. He can’t even use it to call for help. He’s trapped here, stuck, and whatever she does next isn’t going to be pleasant.

“It’s not nice to read other people’s diaries, Scorpius,” she says, in a sweet voice, waltzing over and treading on his foot as she leans across to shut the diary. “Didn’t your parents teach you that? Although I suppose that’s the sort of thing mothers teach you, and yours wasn’t around for very long, was she?”

Scorpius boils with rage. He may be trapped but he’s not going down without a fight. “Don’t you dare talk about my-“

“Silencio,” she says, with a casual flick of her wand.

Scorpius’s words die in his throat and even when he moves his mouth nothing comes out. Trapped and silent. No one can hear him scream.

He looks at her, just about able to move his eyes to see where she is, but she doesn’t make it hard for him. She leans in close, right in his face, and grins at him.

“It’s been such a touching reunion between you and Albus, and now you’re going to tell me why.”

He wants to ask what she means, but he can’t speak. Instead he just stares at her and hopes that she’ll at least have the mercy to end whatever’s about to come quickly.

“I’ve been with him for seven years,” she says. “Every single day. But he’s still obsessed with you. I don’t understand, but you’re going to help me. Now, let’s have some fun.”

She touches her wand to his temple and he screws his eyes tight shut, waiting for a flash of green light and a rush of wind. But it never comes, instead she breathes into his ear, soft and intimate, “Crucio.”

The pain that follows is only made more excruciating by the sudden shock of it. There’s nothing Scorpius can do to temper it. He can’t scream, he can’t clench his fists or contort his body. He just leans there as he’s wracked with it, too much to bear, shooting from his brain down his spine and through every single limb. He’s locked in place, screaming inside, and he doesn’t know how much more agony like this he can take.

When it ends he can’t even show his relief. All he can do is open his eyes and try to draw in breaths.

Delphi pulls her wand back and walks away a few steps, turning on her heel in the centre of the room, a big grin on her face like she’s enjoying everything about this.

“It’s almost no fun with all those spells on you,” she says. “I can’t even see or hear the pain. What’s the point of that?” She points her wand at him, and he realises that she’s about to release him. His wand is still in his hand. Maybe he can cast the spell to call for help, or-

“Expelliarmus,” she says, and his last hope of salvation flies from his hand and spins away into a corner. Before he can mourn its loss the Full Body Bind Curse releases and he collapses in a heap on the floor, curling into a ball and rubbing his aching limbs. As he falls, the diary on the table is knocked down too, landing on the floorboards right beside him.

“Fulgari,” Delphi says, hitting him with another spell before he can think to do anything else. His wrists snap together, a searing band of fire burning around them. Next thing he knows she flicks her wand again and he hears himself gasp and cough. His voice is back.

“I know,” he says. “I know everything. You have to kill me. You don’t have another choice. Torture me as much as you like but I’m going to tell Albus and Harry everything the second they rescue me.”

Delphi gives a high, cruel laugh. “Rescue you? No one is coming to rescue you, Scorpius. You’re alone here, with just me. And in a second you’re going to remember nothing.” She directs her wand right at his head again.

“You’re going to torture me into insanity?” Scorpius asks. “Is that your grand plan? You know Albus might notice that and be a little bit-“

“Obliviate.”

A soft, warm numbness spreads through Scorpius’s mind. For a moment he doesn’t know anything at all, but then his thoughts coalesce and he discovers that he’s kneeling on the floor with Delphi, Albus’s friend, pointing a wand at him. There’s a book on the floor next to him and he knows it’s important, that he needs to take it to Albus, but he doesn’t remember why.

“What am I doing here?” He asks. “Why are you pointing your wand at me? I’m Albus’s boyfriend. You’re his friend. We’re on the same side.”

Delphi comes over and crouches down opposite him. “That’s better. Although you should know, little Malfoy, that we’re not on the same side. Not unless you tell me exactly what I need to know.”

Scorpius frowns at her, confused. He looks down and realises that his wrists are stinging because they’re bound. The spell around them is making beads of blood stand out on his skin as it scorches him. “What do you need to know? Can you take this off me too? It hurts.”

Delphi puts her wand under his chin, lifting it so he’s looking at him, he stares up at her. “Why is Albus obsessed with you?” She asks. “What have you done to him? Is it a spell? An enchantment? A love potion? You’ve warped his mind. How?”

Scorpius swallows and pulls back, getting the wand away from him. “What? I haven’t done anything. Albus just... he loves me. I’m his boyfriend. He’s in love with me.”

Delphi pulls her wand back and twirls it between her fingers, scrutinising him. “Love,” she says softly. “I know that. I’ve had to listen to him talk about it enough. But how did you get him to love you? What did you do?”

Scorpius shakes his head. “I-I don’t think I understand the question. I didn’t do anything. I just... I was. I am. He... He loves me. Because I’m me, or... I don’t even know why, but he does.”

“That’s rubbish,” Delphi says, getting to her feet. “You’re lying to me. You’re not telling me everything.”

“I’m not,” Scorpius says, struggling onto his knees. “I promise, I-“

“Crucio.”

He screams. Waves of pain wash through his body like a tsunami, leaving only wreckage and devastation behind. His limbs cramp and he can’t stop himself from contorting. His throat is raw with the intensity of his screams. He hits his head on the floor as he falls sideways, and when the pain stops he lies there in a daze, gasping for breath, terror coursing through him because he doesn’t understand. What is Delphi doing? Why is this happening? He doesn’t know how to stop this.

“Now,” Delphi says, sitting cross-legged on the floor opposite him and laying her wand there. “Tell me how you made Albus fall in love with you, or I’ll make the pain even worse.”

Scorpius manages to get his elbow on the floor and push himself half upright without hurting his wrists too much. The spell binding them still burns and aches but he doesn’t let it brush his skin any more than it was already.

Once he’s propped on one elbow he looks at Delphi. “I didn’t make Albus do anything. He loves me because he wants to. I can’t tell you why because that’s not how it works. Why does anyone love anyone? Because... because they find something in the other person that brings them joy and life and... and makes them want to get to know that person as intimately as they can.”

Delphi nods and slides forward towards him, an eager look on her face. “I want to know Albus. I want to know his secrets, how he can be used. I understand that. Keep going.”

Scorpius recoils from her, falling onto his backside but managing to stay upright. “But that’s not love. You don’t use someone you love. You’re his best friend, why don’t understand that? If you love someone you want to know them just because... because. Because they’re fascinating. Because they’re beautiful. Because they’re another human that you respect, and- I can’t tell you how to make Albus love you. I don’t know how I made him love me. I didn’t make him love me. He just did it because he wanted to.”

“You must have done something,” Delphi says. “Love is magic. I know that. Lily Potter’s Charm, and- How do you do that magic? What’s the spell?”

Scorpius shakes his head. “There isn’t a spell. That’s not how it works. It happens.”

Delphi scrutinises him for a long moment, then she gets to her feet and flicks her wand dismissively in his direction. “Useless. Crucio.”

Sharp agony, inside him, around him, overwhelming him, utterly unbearable. He falls backwards, and when his body jars on the floor the pain pales into insignificance beside the pain of the torture. His toes curl, he claws at his torso trying to tear the pain out of him somehow. There’s no relief. It goes on and on, never ending, until it stops and he lies there, trying to feel nothing.

“Last chance,” Delphi says, cold and sharp, undeterred by his failed attempts to answer so far. “Tell me the secret.”

“I’ve...” Scorpius grunts and twists round to look at her, “told you. There isn’t a secret. I haven’t done anything to him. I offered him sweets on the train when we first met, I stuck by him when he was miserable, I helped him feel connected to his life again last week, that’s it.” He sits with his bound, aching hands between his knees and looks Delphi in the eye. “Delphi, you’re his best friend. He already loves you. I don’t know why you can’t see it but there’s nothing you need to do. There is no secret. You’ve already won. You don’t need to do this, I promise.”

“No,” she says, levelling her wand at him and shaking her head. “No that’s not true. He’s more loyal to you than to me. You’ve been here a week and a half and he’s fallen in love with you. You’re stealing him from me, and you can’t deny it.”

Scorpius sighs. “Just a thought but have you tried being nice to him?” He lifts his hands. “If this is what you do to make people tell you things then maybe he’s not inclined to be helpful. He’s not as tolerant as I am.”

A smile curls across Delphi’s lips. “I didn’t know you could be a smartass. Maybe this is what Albus sees in you. You have spirit.”

“I’m very flattered,” Scorpius says. “Will you let me go now?” He holds his hands out to her. His brain is foggy, his whole body aches, especially his back, and his wrists are really bleeding now.

“No,” Delphi says bluntly. “You haven’t helped, even a little bit. I think you’re being difficult. I think you need more persuasion.”

“But I-“

Delphi’s wand slashes through the air. “Sectumsempra,” she barks.

Instantly Scorpius’s neat new shirt, the one he’d put on specially for his date, blossoms scarlet. It takes him a second to realise that he’s in terrible pain, and another second more to comprehend that he’s bleeding from a long gash across his torso. He curls in on himself, pressing his hands to it and staring up at Delphi.

“You’re going to make me... bleed to death?” He asks, already feeling faint. There really is a lot of blood. His hands are already soaked with it.

She slashes her wand through the air again and another bit of his shirt goes bright red, the two spots merging into one. Scorpius slumps sideways against the table leg, head spinning.

“I can’t tell you anything, if you-“

“You’d better talk quickly then,” she says. “Hadn’t you.”

“I don’t... have anything to tell you,” Scorpius says, trying to put pressure on both wounds at once, even as he slides further onto the ground. “I’ve already... said that. And even if I did I... I think I’d rather die.”

Another slash, and Scorpius’s body convulses with the pain of it. He collapses sideways, the world going dark around the edges. So this is it. A death of confusion and excruciating pain, at the hands of someone who’s supposed to be his boyfriend’s best friend.

As his eyes flutter closed he spots the book lying on the floor, now splattered and stained with his blood. No one will know it’s here. If he dies no one will know what’s inside it. If by some miracle he survives this, someone needs to find out about the book. But he’s not going to survive this, so...

Everything goes black. He floats in nothingness. The pain slowly subsides. And then he realises there are hands on him, supporting his back, sitting him up slightly.

“Albus?” He whispers.

“Unfortunately for you, not Albus.”

He opens his eyes to see Delphi again. She has an arm round his back, and there’s something hard pressing into the back of his neck. It takes him a moment to realise that it’s her wand.

“I’m not dead,” he says softly. “I thought I was bleeding.”

“Not anymore,” Delphi says. She strokes her fingers through his hair, making him shudder. “Poor Scorpius. Useless Scorpius. Unable, or perhaps unwilling, to tell me anything. But Albus will never know how loyal you’re being. You’re all alone again, Scorpius. Always alone. Well, I suppose you’re technically not alone now. You’ve got me.” She gives a high-pitched, cold laugh that sends chills down Scorpius’s spine. He tries to wriggle away but she grips the back of his shirt and holds him steady.

“You’re going to help me,” she murmurs. “You’re going to break eventually. It’s only a matter of time, I know it is. There are some things that no one can resist. Crucio.”

This time the agony shoots straight down Scorpius’s spine and he loses himself. His limbs are trembling. He doesn’t know if he’s shouting or screaming or if he’s in too much pain to make a sound. He can’t see or hear and think. He almost can’t even feel because the pain is burning white hot through every inch of him, overriding every other part of his existence. There’s nothing beyond the pain, and it stretches on from seconds into minutes into hours and days, weeks, months. The pain goes on forever. There’s sharp bile in his throat and warm wet against his legs, but those are distant human sensations, and Scorpius isn’t human anymore, because you can’t go through this and remain human.

When Delphi finally removes her wand, Scorpius realises that he’s managed to roll onto his front and there are hot tears stinging his face. He must have thrown up from the agony of it because there’s sick among the blood on the floor, and he realises that his trousers are damp too. He lies there, still in too much pain to move, limbs still shaking, humiliated and exhausted.

“Why haven’t you killed me?” He whispers, voice hoarse and raw. “I don’t understand. I can’t give you what you want. Just let me go.”

Delphi pats him on the back and he twitches and groans. “No. You’re too useful to be killed. I’ll just have to keep going with this instead. Don’t tell me you’re not having fun.”

Scorpius fixes his eyes on the book that he’s now managed to kick under the desk by accident, which Delphi seems to have forgotten about. He needs her to not remember it. “So much fun,” he murmurs. “This is wonderful.”

“Good,” Delphi says. “Then we can-“

There’s a whooshing in the distance, and suddenly Delphi’s hands are gone and he hears footsteps creaking across the floorboards and a wash of green light fill the room.

“What do you want?” Delphi asks. “I’m busy, I’ve got a guest.”

“Augurey,” a man says. “I’m sorry to bother you, but the meeting at the Sign of the Black Dog... You asked us to wait for you there. We wanted to know if you were still coming, because if not, then we can-“

“Shit. Is Von Strasser there?”

“Yes, everyone is.”

“Fine. I’m coming. Give me five minutes and I’ll be there. Send my apologies.”

“Yes, Augurey.”

Another whoosh and the green light fades. More footsteps, and then Scorpius is yanked off the floor by the collar of his shirt, and pulled onto his back.

“You’re going to wait here,” Delphi says, face looming right in front of his. Her eyes are so cold and black. There’s barely any spark of life in them. “You’re going to lie here until I come back, and when I do we’ll continue this discussion.”

“Okay,” Scorpius breathes.

“Glad to hear it.” She grabs hold of his hair and twists his head to the side, pulling his hair hard enough that he lets out a cry of pain, but she doesn’t seem to care. “Silencio. Petrificus Totalus.”

Scorpius goes silent and his body goes rigid. Delphi drops him to the ground and he lies there, immobile and unable to talk. With his head tilted to the side he can see the space under the desk. He can see the notebook. He can see hope. He’s not dead, and he can see the thing that contains all the answers.

“Be good,” Delphi says, tapping her wand on his head, so the trickling sensation of a Disillusionment Charm passes down his whole body. “Oh, and I suppose I should...” She presses the tip of her wand to his temple, and Scorpius expects more torture, but instead she says “Obliviate” and his mind goes blissfully numb again.

When his thoughts coalesce he can hear footsteps walking away across the room he’s in. He knows that he’s covered in blood and vomit and urine but he doesn’t know how or why. His body is in unbearable pain but he can’t speak or move to get any release. He’s trapped, immobile, and whoever did this to him has just walked away.

Does anyone know he’s here besides them? Is he going to be rescued? Panic rises inside him and his chest gets tight. He tries to steady his breathing and keep calm. He tries to think about Albus. They were supposed to have a date. Maybe Albus will notice he’s missing. If Albus can find that he’s here – wherever here is – then maybe he’ll see all the blood and realise that Scorpius is invisible and abandoned on the ground. That thought calms Scorpius down a little, and he exhales a shaky breath, just about keeping his fear and pain at bay.

He gazes into the darkness under the desk and sees the pale pages of a notebook, hidden in shadow under there. That notebook is important. If anyone does come to save him they need to take that. That has the answers to everything. Nothing has ever been more important.

So as a rushing sound and a wash of emerald green floods the room then ebbs away and he settles in to wait either for oblivion or for salvation, he focuses all his thoughts on the book. His brain may be foggy and confused, he may have never felt more scared in his life, he may want to just lie here and cry, every inch of his body may be in the most excruciating pain, but the book gives him something to hold on to. The book is his reason to keep remembering; to stay alive, to stay conscious, to stay sane. The book is his reason to keep hoping for rescue.

Time passes. The sun wheels round in the sky beyond the window. Shadows shift and lengthen. And Scorpius lies utterly immobile, drifting in and out of consciousness, but always holding that one mantra in his head: the book is the answer, we need the book. The book is the answer, we need the book. The book is the answer, we need the book...

[cheshiresense]

Hello! I adore all your works and devour them whenever I see something new. I totally binged on your dreamwidth stuff yesterday and I read that Lin Chen/Changsu snippet you posted and my feelz are just all over the place. So I was wondering if you had anything else on these two? Streams of consciousness or headcanons or anything? There's not enough fics for them and I'd love anything you came up with. Thank you!

I’m glad you liked it! I can’t say I have anything really concrete written down, I love NiF but I’m not actively writing much for it atm. I have the rambling beginnings of a fic with these two if you want that? It’s not much but I started this a while ago so you can tell me if I should quit while I’m ahead lol~

Pinglist: @yoshifics @bewarethemandragora @runeofluna @selenedreamwalker @hypnos28 @verticallychallengedintrovert @fandommaniac2401 @lovingempress @cynthia-of-the-wallflowers @shadowsofmoonracer @pairp @warriorofbooks @charlottedabookworm @lyra689 @sheyrenawyrsabane @sora-the-empress @xadriannax @yumeniai @arrysa @lirial89-fanfiction @skysong246 @caiahat @grimreaper19 @arosethornbyanyothername @mtkiseki @kaminoko-x @nesskyru @tatarako @parklena42 @zibeth-a @aerdnanocte @timegrenades @healingmichiko

(I’m not sure if I should ping ppl for this, how many of you even read NiF fanfic, but whatever, just ignore if you’re not in this fandom.)

Summary: After he finds justice for his family and Prince Qi and the Chiyan Army, after fighting off Da Yu for Jingyan, Lin Shu finds something else to live for. Lin Chen’s waited fourteen years. And Nihuang’s kept faith for just as long. The least Lin Shu can do is try, for them.

A/N: My plan for this fic - if I ever actually get around to writing it - is endgame Lin Chen/Lin Shu/Nihuang. I thought it could be an interesting dynamic to explore, and not one I’ve seen before.

Lin Chen has always had the uncanny ability to see rightthrough him, but Lin Shu is willing to bet he doesn’t know one thing - Lin Shuhas never once been able to look at Lin Chen without wondering why he choosesto stay.  One, two, twelve years and he never once strayed, never stoppedtaking care of him, never washed his hands of him even though Lin Shu knowsfull well he’s probably the worst and most difficult patient in existence, andthat fact has very little to do with his illness and everything to do with histemperament.  But Lin Chen stayed through every animal noise and wretchedscream in the early days, and every stumble and fever and frustrated curse ashe learned to eat and stand and walk again. He stayed through Lin Shu’s transformation into Mei Changsu, through hisrise as the Lord of the Jiang Zuo Alliance, and at the end of it all, he waseven here to witness the culmination of Lin Shu’s vengeance.

And now here they are, fourteen years after they first metin the aftermath of the massacre at Meiling, and the Master of Langya Hall -distantly omniscient, removed from world politics, peaceful, neutral -is still here and about to follow him into a war.

Lin Shu can understand Fei Liu’s loyalty, he can understandLi Gang’s and Zhen Ping’s and Gong Yu’s, even Meng Zhi’s and all the people whofeel indebted to him for one reason or another, but Lin Chen owes him nothing -if anything, it’s definitely the other way around - and Lin Shu has no ideawhat he did to deserve any of his devotion.  So it chafes at something inhim, something like guilt and horror and old family honour, something that scoldshim in his mother’s voice - how could you, Xiao Shu - because they bothknow Lin Shu isn’t planning on coming back from this, that this is as much asuicide as a blade to his own stomach would be, and Lin Chen is the one who isgoing to have to shoulder that weight too, who is already shoulderingit.

He glances at Lin Chen again now, sidelong and discreet, andnot for the first time.  The man is dressed in imperial armour and has hisback turned to Lin Shu, occupied with adjusting the straps of his horse’sstirrups.  He looks strange.  Wrong. No matter how good a fighter he is, and Lin Shu knows he’s excellent,Lin Chen should not be here.  He belongs in sweeping white sleeves andplum blossoms and treetops, in white doves and rice wine and laughter, and allthe freedom the world can give him.  He has his own responsibilities ofcourse, his own work, his own duties, but this certainly shouldn’t be one ofthem.  Lin Shu shouldn’t be one ofthem.

He knows he’s a selfish man.  He does what he wants,and he gets what he wants (most of the time).  He’s lied and brokenmore promises than he cares to count (he counts every last one of them)because he can’t bear to deal with the grief that would come from facing thetruth (sometimes it feels like he’s never stopped grieving).  Sohe’ll do this too, go to war at the northern border once again, and part ofthat is for Jingyan, as everything always has been, but he can dress it up allhe wants and it still won’t change the fact that this too is for himself.

Dying on the battlefield where his father and fellowsoldiers died, where he should’ve died all those years ago, is farbetter than wasting away in bed for what little time he still has left. He was almost relieved when Da Yu attacked as he predicted they would.

And yet…

He didn’t expect Lin Chen to insist on coming with him, eventhough he probably should have.  The Young Master of Langya Hall shouldn’teven leave Langya Mountain, or at the very least the jianghu, but he came toJinling anyway, didn’t he?  For Lin Shu, again.

“Shu-ge.”

He glances to the side as Nihuang rides up beside him,straight-backed and tall on her horse as always.  She still looks a littlepale, a little tired, and more than a little unhappy, but her eyes are dry, andthe stubborn ferocity that he’s always admired in her is back in thedeceptively delicate lines of her face.

“Nihuang,” He says, and even tries to smile.  Itdoesn’t quite work, if the quelling, unimpressed look Nihuang directs at him isanything to go by.  He sighs and doesn’t try again.

For a while, they both remain silent, watching theirsoldiers begin riding out instead.  Some of them won’t come back.  That’s a fact of war but, well, Lin Shu willtry.  He catches sight of Yujin andJingrui, and he knows that for those two at least he’ll do everything in hispower to return them home alive.  Uncle Yan didn’t say anything eventhough he did randomly come by the Su Residence and sit down for tea one lasttime a few days ago about two hours after Meng passed along the news that Yujinhad signed up for the army, and Lin Shu hasn’t even seen Aunt Liyang since theevening of the Emperor’s birthday, but he knows what they both would want toask of him.  He’s not actually sure if they know the truth by now, if theyknow who he is (was, will never really be again, not entirely), but LinShu or Changsu, they would still want to ask.

They don’t have to though.  It’s the least Lin Shu cando for them.  All of them.

His gaze slides, unbidden, back to Lin Chen, who’s swunghimself up onto his horse by now and is leaning over to say something to FeiLiu.  Fei Liu doesn’t smile but Lin Chen doesn’t either so Lin Shu doubtsthere’s any teasing going on.  It’ssomething he misses already.

[k1ll-ur-vibe]

hey! thanks for visiting my blog.

i’m jade, i’m 20 years old and i live in south wales in the uk. my pronouns are she/her and i am bisexual. i’m single.

i love music, writing, body modification, bdsm, gaming, tv shows, genealogy, true crime and rugby. my favourite music genre is pop-punk and my favourite band is all time low. i love atl to death, they have helped me so much and saved my life. their music means the fucking world to me and i can’t even express just how much i love them. i own multiple copies of their CDs, DVDs and vinyls, and a shit ton of merch. i have seen them 9 times and met them 3 times. they’ve also noticed me a bunch of times and some of the guys have started recognising me at this point which is really cool. i’ve loved them for nearly 7 years and they are such an integral part of my personality and life at this point, it’s unreal. <3 if you’re friends with me, you’re gonna hear about atl every single day and you need to accept that.

other than pop-punk, i love all different genres and have a very varied music taste. some artists other than atl that i love are simple creatures, busted, lights, little mix, mcfly, the maine, marianas trench, jojo, ed sheeran, demi lovato, breathe carolina, cupcakke and hayley kiyoko.

i write songs, play guitar, bass and drums, sing, read music and am experienced in in-studio and live sound engineering. music is my life, it’s what i live and breathe. i currently work in events staff, helping put on concerts and rugby matches which are 2 of the things i love the most.

i write stories online and have had some pretty popular fics before. i write both fan fiction and own universe stories and i take part in nanowrimo every year. most of my stories will go up on quotev and/or mibba. you can view my profiles on those websites here and here. you can view my nanowrimo profile here.

through writing fan fiction, i have met friends who have made my life so much better and become my family. i met 2 of my best friends, dominique and alexandria, on quotev and i wouldn’t change them for the world. <3 i’m finally meeting dominique in march but unfortunately, alexandria and i still have to wait a little longer. but we’ll get there, i know we will. :) i’ve known both of these girls for nearly 7 years and i just love them so much. <3 i can’t wait to finally break the distance with my sisters. :)

i love body modification. i currently have 3 tattoos and pierced ears but i want so, so much more. i currently want 24 more tattoos plus an entire sleeve, 10 more piercings and stretched ears. all the tattoos i have currently are atl related (therapy and skull tattoos on my left arm, plus atl’s signatures on my upper back) and i love them so much. however, the next tattoo i intend to get is non-atl related but i still have plenty more atl-related stuff to get done, including the sleeve (it will be based on my fave album, nothing personal’s artwork). :)

i am highly into bdsm and am a submissive. before the tumblr purge, i had a bdsm blog but now, since i’ve had to delete it, anything that i can get away with will be posted here. some of my kinks include bondage, pain, torture, degradation and humiliation, dd/lg and watersports. i’ve struggled with my sexuality a lot over the years and part of that has been a struggle with accepting that i’m kinky. but i refuse to let it bother me anymore. i am into bdsm and if people don’t like it, that’s their problem. i will be posting bdsm-related things on this blog so if you’re not into that, please don’t follow me. however, i will try my best to tag everything as both bdsm and nsfw so if you are able to block those tags in any way and still want to follow me, please feel free to do so. :)

i love video games and my favourite games are the gta games (my faves are prob gta san andreas and gta5. however, i am currently making my way through gta4 as i didn’t get to play it when it initially came out). i also love tony hawk, sonic, pokemon and the sims. i am currently an xbox player but love playstation and nintendo too. i have fond memories of the gamecube and the ps2 growing up. i’m hoping to play red dead redemption 2 and undertale soon. i think they look awesome and have watched many let’s plays on them. currently playing: gta4, ts4 and pokemon white.

i love tv shows and some of my favourites are the goldbergs, brooklyn nine nine, how i met your mother, friends, stranger things, you, big mouth and the good place. i mostly netflix binge but sometimes will watch live. the only problem is things take a lot longer to come to the uk from the us haha. i used to be a huge fan of sci-fi and i used to blog a lot about supernatural, doctor who and sherlock but have drifted far away from that now (although i still love misha collins and ship destiel/cockles lmao). so if you see one of my old posts, know that i’m not like that anymore. i definitely prefer sitcoms these days but still love a good drama. :)

i love genealogy and have been creating my own family tree since 2015. my 3 favourite genealogy-related tv shows are who do you think you are? (uk version), heir hunters, and long lost family. i love finding out about my family history and what made me, me really. i get that it’s a super nerdy thing to be into but quite frankly, i don’t care haha.

i’m super interested in true crime and the psychology surrounding it. eleanor neale is my favourite youtuber but a close second is georgia marie. i also love buzzfeed unsolved, both true crime and supernatural editions. i frequently binge true crime docu-series on netflix and i really want to study psychology at some point. i just think it’s so fascinating to think about what must have to break in someone’s brain to make them so violent and/or evil.

being welsh, i of course adore rugby. and of course, i root for wales. the venue i work at is the home venue for wales and it makes me so proud. i would love to meet one of the team one day, probably leigh halfpenny specifically. i feel that rugby is just so much better than football and the fanbases tend to be way more accepting of each other. and the game is way more fun to watch. but unfortunately, i don’t think i’ll ever be strong or brave enough to actually play it haha.

i unfortunately struggle with a few illnesses that can sometimes make life a daily battle but i get through it. i have polycystic ovarian syndrome (pcos), which causes irregular periods, cysts on the ovaries, rapid weight gain and difficulty losing weight, hirsutism, male-pattern balding, acne and infertility. i have pretty much every symptom (but i haven’t tried getting pregnant yet so i don’t know about infertility) and it is hell. i also suffer with a few mental illnesses; depression, social anxiety disorder and OCD. i used to self-harm but am now over 5 years clean and i also have attempted suicide in the past but am thankfully not suicidal right now. i take 40 mg fluoxetine daily to manage my mental illnesses and i also see a support worker to help me get out more and build my confidence. i’ve been through both child and adult therapy services in the past. anyone who’s reading this and is struggling too, please stay strong. <3 i promise there are better days out there for you.

i hope you enjoy looking at my blog and that you give me a follow if you want! bye, peeps. <3

[autistic-council-spectre]

tagged by @turianfetishist and i kept forgetting 2 do it afauahs

and then i tried to commit suicide via peanuts so u know that’s how it be sometimes on this bitch of an earth

1. Whats the favorite item of clothing you own?

mmm do binders count as clothes bc if so that one BUT i also have this skirt that’s like a pastel galaxy it’s a #look

2. Tell me about the first time you watched your favorite movie?

hums one of my favorites rn is the new mlp movie(thank u tiny me 4 ur special interests that continue to kidnap me) and me andf my bf watched it when he came to visit AND IT WAS SO GOOD!!!! we went there after dinner and we looked all fancy to watch it and i had So Many Feelings™ tempest is,,,iconic and dramatic i love and support her

3. What was the last book you finished?

tbh tbh i usually read more fics than books recently bc im trash b u t i reread the darkstalker:legends and it’s,,,so good darkstalker is equal parts relatable and a trash child. the biggest trash child like what the FUCK my son

4. What is the next book you want to read?

mmmMM i think i wanna reread lotr tiny me fixated on it and it’s still good THAT OR i need to find the rest of the wof books 👀👀give me them dragons. esp the nightwings. i love them

5. When is your birthday and what do you want for it? (If your birthday has already happened this year did you get what your heart was set on?)

the sweet sweet release of death

okay so dramatic emo-ness aside my bday is on September 28th and Honestly there’s this pair of boots i high-key want bc it has that like. that feeling that if u wear them ur gonna get together a rag tag group and go be space pirates or smthin.

but if we go for non material things i want my bf to come for a visit bc he came for like a week or two last yr for my bday and now im like??? come back??? give me attention????? u done fucked up and now ur stuck with me so Come Back Fucker

6. If you were given one month and $10,000 where would you travel to?

JAPAN!! japan,,,, partly bc i was quite literally made in japan not born there just. made. (an i also want a tattoo that says that but that’s another story) AND ALSO the street fashion there is 👀👀 i can finally look weird and fit in yis

7. Cake or pie?

im not able to have either for awhile adsgsh but fucking. pumpkin pie HELL YES i can live off that

8. Name three things you think you’re good at.

being an annoyance

but mm art, writing sorta?? and sewing :v

9. Name three things youd like to be better at.

if someone could teach me how 2 be a ppl that’d be Great (bc apparently ur Not supposed to lick ur friends. sounds fake), cleaning tbh bc im Bad at that and uhh honestly i wish i knew how to skateboard bc it looks fun but i am useless at it

10. Name three far fetched dreams you’d like to do some day.

i rlly wanna write a novel someday tbh i have alllllll of the plans and plots for it just. gotta do it. don’t wanna do it that takes effort

i want to be friends with every lizard and snake :v THEYRE GOOD FRIENDS good scaly bois

and i Also wanna make some kind of break through in science either engineering or genetics, tiny me had plans for this cool ass robot and everything. but i do not understand the engineerings™

11. If you had to dye your hair what color would you die it?

i used to have the tips this bright blue and i loved it So prolly bright blue but listen

listen

the anime weeb part of me that binge watches psychopass

REALLY wants white hair so i can be a doomed anime protagonist bc thatd be Awesome™

an ill tag uhh @thecouncilwasright @electric-space-possum @erkthewanderer @theravenofwynter an @danceswithturians i don’t think y'all have been tagged but idk :v what is a memory

[fluffi]

a god’s menu hater?! 😾 jk, i understand. it wasn’t something i liked at first too. then it kept popping up as an ad before left and right by svt played (i was streaming it at the time) but i couldn’t bring myself to skip it? then i couldn’t stop singing it. i actually recall streaming both mvs during finals week instead of studying 😅

this is your sign to dive into wayv but ofc take your time. they’ll always be there if you need a good laugh. and i hope i’ll get into cpop someday, feels like i’m missing out on good music. 😕

shotaro really is up there huh? hope sm revives the nct dance channel and give the man a platform to post on. also have you watched shotaro’s relay cam episode?

yep it’s probably because of the sexual connotation : D i wanna go back to the time when ice cream was just ice cream. and ice cream cake gave me diarrhea once 😭 i still love it but i’m always hesitant bc there’s the slim chance i might suffer through that whole thing again.

i, too, abandon my ult groups when i start stanning new ones. but then again, my ults are an active bunch. with chan going live every week and an nct unit coming back every other month, it’s hard to totally get distant 😂 i used to not watch variety shows because my attention span couldn’t handle it 🤣 also ik you mentioned the groups that you stanned before but who are your ults? (but i think it’s listed somewhere on your blog tho i’ll check it out after i send this)

maybe they don’t read because these are lengthyyyyyy but if they do then 😃🤚🏼AAAAAAA i look forward to these exchanges too úwù

ah yes. those three bring in a lot of fans 🤣 maybe thats why sm put them in the first unit that promoted for nct 2020. strategy worked tho, felt the fandom grow bigger. shotaro edits devastate me whenever they pop up on the tl but i don’t see them often. and come to think of it, i have never seen a soft johnny edit.

spicy genres 😭 i am definitely NOT worthy of that title. but if there’s a specific type of nct fic that you would want to read, i might be able to give you recommendations. oh why would you want to wipe them ☹️☹️ save a copy somewhere at least, you might regret completely erasing them.

and SEUNGMIN. the biggest threat to my loyalty to bang chan. that man just devastates me every. single. time. something about him just makes me go all soft 😔 i had a whole rollercoaster seungmin phase last december bc i subscribed to his bubble and he was active as hell EXCEPT on christmas week. and i got sad bc he didn’t send a greeting..? care to share how it became seungmin for you?

also i have a finished seungmin drabble jailed in my docs based on this devastating gif. want me to tag you when i drop it? 🤣

also yes that show 😭 i watched that bc i missed dream a lot but i haven’t got around to finishing it. i hope you’re enjoying it tho! they truly are a hilarious bunch. i saw a twt abt them though. that dream is a group of 20-year olds with 35 years of experience 🤣 they aren’t 4th gen but their ages make it seem like they are.

ah repetition both made us fall for gods menu and its glory. i still cant believe it didnt get one single win :( i personally preferred gods menu over back door but at least back door's music wins gave its sibling some justice. ugh same, i tend to stream mvs while studying but i usually end up watching the mv and the people in it instead haha.

also yes! get into cpop. i personally don't find their '4th gen' music (basically the new generation of kpop knockoffs) good because of its horrendous english grammar, but their music isn't mind blowing or anything anyways. i would recommend some ballads though, chinese ballads will remain superior forever.shotaro supremacy! i fell for him before i even started stanning nct, that says so much. and yes, ive watched his relay cam and fan cams multiple times, way before i stanned too haha. hes honestly so likeable.

lmao are you lactose intolerant? /g ice cream doesnt do much to me besides make me feel bloated. nowadays i prefer smoothies over it.

speaking of nct units coming back and skz, hot sauce just happened but we already have a 127 drop. i didnt think id see hyuck and mork in there D': give them a break sm. once again, title track isnt my taste at all, but maybe ill grow to like it after a few listens. ive surprisingly become a fan of hot sauce though. the hook and jaemins intro are super addicitng. 

stray kids world domination too! i didnt watch kingdom because im not available during the airing time but i streamed and looked at their performances and i have to say, no personal bias or anything, skz deserved that win :3 its all in good fun though, atz and tbz caught my eye and i might try getting into them in the near future hehe.

my ults are izone, skz, txt and enha! (i think you probably saw them already haha). my bias ults are jake and wonyoung. to be honest, with the amount of dream content im consuming daily, i think they might become one of my ults soon. argh i really want to write for them though.

no no your fics look so unique and spicy grrr. im really excited to read them! theyre different from typical fanfiction and im a sucker for that. hmm for recommendations, honestly anything sfw and fluffy is fine, i tend to love writing angst but im a sucker for reading fluff. ive been binging on lvdsc's works actually, so amazing argh. as for my works, ill probably private them...or move blogs? im still thinking about it.

skz bubbles! ah theyre always so fun on the app, did seungmin say anything interesting? as for how he became my bias, the memory's hazy but i think it was because i was looking at those september celebration videos (for han, seungmin and lix all together (?)) and just kind of fell for his gahs and his vlives. seungmin vlives are always so fun and relaxing, i like to do homework to them. especially that one vlive where he sang for 4 hours, that just made me fall in love with him more.

based on that gif, im assuming that the drabble is about nose booping? which i absolutely LOVE! YES! in fact, tag me in anything seungmin. anything. literally anything. that boy is my secret ult lmao.

[lovingnikiforov]

Dessa dessa so I have a fic idea that ive been toying with for literally years and I've always wanted to actually make it into something, and finally i was like this would be perfect for mystic messenger, except since the fandom is sorta dying out nowadays km scared that ill put all the time and effort into something people won't even be interested in anymore? Tips.

Hmm, that’s tough because I agree that the mystic messenger fandom is getting quieter. Any fic that gets posted now will have a harder time getting as many readers as the stories that were posted during the peak of the fandom unless Cheritz drops a new route. (which isn’t impossible, they still have Rika left if they really want to do something). 

I think your options are to either go for it and put a lot of work into getting your fic out there in the parts of the internet where the fandom is still thriving, or to hold onto the idea until another fandom catches your eye with it. If you go for the mysme fic, I definitely think there’s still a market of readers out there! Even if people aren’t actively in the fandom anymore, there’s a lot of them who will still reblog artwork they like or read a fic they find interesting, so your fic wouldn’t be floating out in space by itself. 

At the end of the day it really comes down to how much you want to write this particular story. If it’s what you really want to do and you’re passionate about it, I’d say go for it and send me a link when it’s posted because I go on mysme fic binges every couple of months or so lmao. I’ll also drop a link to an ask I answered about getting more readers: some of the tips I gave there will be harder to apply for a dwindling fandom, but many of them will still be applicable!

Good luck!!