#and then i got in bed and had 2 get up because i felt like i was dying and nearly threw up SO

[syluriar]

please...help me - sylus x mc!reader. part 1

sypnosis: you call sylus to escape caleb.

a/n: i know i'm not the only one who thought this, a lot of us sylus girlies wanted to call out man and get him our of sjyhaven ASAP. so i wrote this little fic for that, and as you can tell by the title this is just part 1. ofc that means there'll be a part 2, maybe a part 3??? let's wait and see :)

warning: caleb being possessive (yandere??). mc (you) feeling uncomfortable and scared of caleb. hurt and some comfort by sylus (i luv you<3 ). this is rushed and like all my fics, have no grammer check.

word count: 990

RING RING

The vibration of the phone rang loudly through the bathroom, the one place Caleb grants you privacy. More than one you were thankful that he wasn’t here, his duty calling him out to do some work, work that you don’t question anymore, exactly how he likes it.

“I’ll be back soon, Pip-squeak,” He said with a tone meaning for warmth, but you feel the opposite, especially when he looks at you with a smile, the one you remember from your childhood, but it’s not the same anymore. 

“Don’t cause any ruckus, ok? We don’t need a repeat of last time.” 

You shudder at the memory, the way his hand had gripped your wrist and dragged you to your bedroom and placed you not so gently on your bed, scolding you not following his orders and locked you in. He would only allow you to come out for food and he would watch you the whole time you ate, sending shivers of fear down your spine the more it went on. It lasted for two weeks, after that you had a bit more freedom, but every night he would announce it was time for you to sleep and lock you in the bedroom, the next would be the same.

And you hated it. You hated how different he was, how much he had changed since you last saw him. Where was the Caleb that joked around with you? The one that always picked you up when you were feeling down? The one that would wipe away your tears and hold you close? 

Where’s one where you felt safe with? 

Gone. He was all gone, and he scared you. You couldn’t stay here any longer, to try and get the old Caleb back. You had enough of being ordered around and being scared. 

RING RING

Despite Caleb’s watchful eye you managed to snag a new phone as he confiscated yours, checking though all your data to make sure you couldn’t leave, Luckily you thought he would do that and got rid of anything that would get you into trouble; contacts, messages and pictures in your camera roll. So far he hasn’t commented on anything which you pat yourself on the back for.

Another thing your proud of is remembering a phone number, just one that you know would get you out of here.

RING RING

“Please pick up…” You whispered desperately. You have called the number twice now, and you hope people are right when people say third time's the charm, because you needed as much luck as possible right now.

RING RING - 

“I must say your persistence to get hold of me is both annoying and -”

“Sylus!” You couldn’t hold back the happiness as you heard his voice, it had been so long since you last heard it.

“...Is that you, sweetie?”

“It is.” You answer, the endearing name making you blush instantly. 

“Who’s phone are you calling on? Did you get a new phone and not tell me?”

“I’ll tell you that later but I need you to listen to me.” Time was of the essence, and you didn’t want to waste any of it. “I need you to track this phone and come help me.”

“Help you?” His tone held confusion. “What trouble have you gotten into now?”

“Don’t ask. I just need you to come to Skyhaven and get me out of here, fast.” You spoke hastily, you might have sounded desperate, but right now you don’t care. 

“You sound weird, kitten. Are you alright?”

Trust him to take notice. “Please, Sylus. I can’t get out of here and I’m….” You take a deep breath, tears threatening to spill. “I’m scared.”

His answer was instant. “I’m coming, sweetie. Don’t worry, I’ll get you out in no time.”

It’s like a weight is lifted off your shoulders, your heart is lighter and a smile graces your lips. “Thank you. Please hurry Sylus, I don’t like it here.”

“I can tell, sweetie. I’ll destroy everything if it means getting you out.”

“Maybe don’t go that far, there are innocent people here.”

“The ones that hold you against your will are nowhere near innocent.”

You grimace as you think about Caleb, a small piece of you feeling guilty for this, but you needed to get out of here, and if that meant hurting Caleb to escape…then so be it.

Looking at the time, you realise you’ve been left on your own for a while, and Calen would be due back soon. The last thing you wanted was for him to find you like this. “I have to go now, but I’ll see you later?”

“As soon as possible, sweetie. I’ve been making arrangements since you first said you needed my help.”

You end the call quickly and stash within your period products, you knew that Caleb never came in your bathroom, but just in case he changed his mind, at least you knew he wouldn’t search through them.

But now your body is full of nerves, you can’t believe you managed to get through to Sylus, even more so that he’s coming to get you. You just have to wait and keep playing Caleb’s game till he comes, which he assured you will be as soon as possible. In Sylus’ language, that could be within a few minutes to an hour. You hope it’s the first option, but you were determined to wait if that’s what it took.

Before leaving the bathroom you remind yourself to go back to your usual personality that Caleb likes, if he see’s any of your happiness he’ll question it, and you don’t know how long you can lie and fake it for. 

So you lower your excitement, lose your smile and take a few deep breaths to calm your beating heart. Once your assured that you’ve gone back to the obedience look, you open the bathroom door - 

“Have a nice phone call, Pip-squeak?”

[spacegyaru]

DON'T LOOK AT IT! PT.2

your phone got lost for some reasons. the following day, the sex tape you made with your boyfriend (reo, hiyori, nagi, otoya, yukimiya) was all around the internet. how would they react?

cw: r18+, mdni! mentions of sex tape and implied sex. humiliation. somewhat angst and comfort. a little bit toxic, hyori is a s*dist! reo's parents don't like you!

a/n: this is the second part!! third part will be rin, isagi, chigiri, barou, oliver, and karasu 😌 i placed them last bc i think they're less likely to film one tbh

masterlist | part 1 (shidou, kaiser, bachira, & sae)

reo mikage:

to be honest, this guy is too decent to have a sex tape. but you guys ended up making two or three videos for two reasons— the first reason is because he had a one month business trip and he was out of the country, so you decided to give him something he'd love to see from time to time. second, it's because he wanted to get back to his parents for trying to set him up for another woman while he had a girlfriend, you. that time, he let all his frustrations out, bending you over while kissing your neck, jackhammering you from behind.

when your phone got lost, you didn't think that much of it. reo got you a new one. until one day, your name made it to the headlines. the video you taped with reo, him taking you roughly from behind, was all around the internet. the slicking sounds, the purple hair… it's all there.

you already felt humiliated by the public. reo was comforting you with kisses and even bought you a luxury bag in an attempt to comfort you. he also booked a private plane for the both of you to get away with problems for a while. his pr staff also tried to fix damage control by deleting all copies of it around the internet and tracking whoever posted it. he was caught just within the day. 

that didn't stop reo's mother from getting mad tho. while you guys were away, she called you to tell that you should stay away from her son. when reo heard this, he immediately grabbed the phone from you and tossed it on the bed, giving you a kiss on the cheek. 

“just stop using that phone right now and pay attention to me. also, don't mind whatever my mom tells you. you're the only one for me… and now, the whole world knows that.” 

hiori yo: 

this guy looks innocent. but don't get fooled. he's a fucking sadist. he'll beat that pussy up and he just knows the right way to do it. you'll have two to three sex tapes per month, and all of them shows how rough he could be on you. when you try to shy away from the camera, he'll hold your jaw so people could see how you look while he hits it from behind.

when your phone got lost, hiyori was the one who brought up those tapes. and he was so calm when he mentioned it, as if he doesn't have a reputation to protect as a part of a huge football team. the next few days, your name made it to the news and the video of you with your legs up to his shoulders while you were moaning his name loudly was everywhere on the internet. 

when you started being humiliated by the public, hiyori tried to comfort you. he bought you some ice cream and cuddled with you. you apologized for not taking care of your belongings but he accepted it. he even made a public apology to those who have seen it. suddenly, while you were cuddling, something hard poked between your thighs.

“oi, y/n. ya think that would go unpunished? a lot of people have seen how much of a dirty girl ya are, and i thought ya were for my eyes only.” 

nagi seishiro

i'll be pretty honest. this guy only did the sex tape because he was going to be away for a while to train overseas. and he only had one.

it wasn't even you all over his cock. it was you suckin him sloppily while he's all laid back playing with his ps5. your skirt was riding up your ass and only your face can be seen on the camera. while nagi's voice can be heard in the background telling how good you take his cock. his low voice is recognizable, and his moans were heard too. but what made him recognized the most is that you called him ‘sei’ and ‘seishiro’ in the video.

his management immediately told him to deny being part of that vid. but nagi refused to. instead, he issued an apology to the public. he'd rather take the blow rather than publicly admitting that you're a cheater. he even said that it was all his idea but did not emphasize how it happened.

nagi was pretty nonchalant about things. what's the fuss all about if the public already knew you were together? but when he saw how pretty affected you are, boi threw his hands to comfort you. he immediately bought some flowers and decided on a romantic dinner night— which ends up with the both of you playing mario kart or tekken. 

“i might look just cool on the outside but i'm kinda worried about you, babe. you need to get out of our room. let's spend some time together, okay? also, you weren't just fucking anyone. you were fucking me, babe. and i’m not just anyone.” 

otoya eita

this guy is another menace. of course he's going to have a damn sex tape cuz he's the type to parade all the girls he's rizzed on. so you guys end up recording your sex most of the time, unless it's a spontaneous one. 

when you lost your phone, you didn't think that much of it. until you saw eita looking at his phone for too long and staring at the screen. you thought he was about to follow another girl again so you grabbed it, but you saw his twitter timeline containing the one video you took with him a few months ago. you dropped his phone with a shocked face. 

you guys ended up arguing because otoya didn't take it as much of a big deal. you were literally telling him, yelling at his face, to make an apology but he didn't want to. he literally said, “why would i be sorry for fucking my own girlfriend?” you almost threw a chair at him. deep inside, he's just proud of himself. 

in the end, you ended up giving him the silent treatment, which for him, is worse than an argument with you. so he apologized with flowers, decorated your room, ordered a champagne, prepared a nice dinner— all that with rose petals on the bed and a fine massage from him. 

“fine babe. you know i hate it when you ignore me like that. i'll make it up to you okay? let me all do the work tonight and just lay on the bed.” 

yukimiya kenyu (i took so much pleasure in this) 

this guy is a closeted freak. he looks like a good boy but on the bed… he really does well. you wondered where he learned those things from when he looked so prim and proper. he loves to explore and recording a sex tape is one of the things that he wanted to try. you also agreed because you wonder if your boyfriend would still look good on the camera, even when in a pussy-drunken state. and you know the answer to that? of course he did. he looked very hot. 

when you lost your phone, the first one to actually worry is him. he immediately thought of the videos that may come out, especially your sex tapes with him. yukimiya immediately reminded you of that, but you were so complacent and didn't think of that possibility. well, he was right. and your names were written all over the social media. 

being respectful and having a good public image, yukimiya immediately apologized and let out a statement, telling people in detail what happened— how your phone got stolen and how it's suddenly uploaded by an anonymous. he even said that his management will take proper measures to track the person behind it and stuff. 

at the end of the day, what happened between you is a comfort-fest on the bed. you both snuggled together, while you cried in yukimiya's arms, telling him how much you feel humiliated. he just kept kissing your forehead while continuing to cuddle with you. 

“i know, y/n. it's an embarrassing thing, okay? but we're all just humans who make mistakes. we just have to be careful next time, okay? i love you.” 

[alilobsessive]

The Terrible Crow

All your life you desired recognition from your father, well you got it! But not from your bio dad, things only grow worse from there. For the Bats, not for you.

All your life you have longed for one thing, you’re Father’s recognition. At first it was simple things, like getting good grades, school awards. Anything for him to tell you how good of a job you’re doing. When he brought in Dick that changed, the escalation was quick. If he could be Robin, if he could fight with your Father why couldn’t you? Eventually after years of begging he agreed, then not even a week later he took in Jason and he became the new Robin. Your Father told you it was because he was older then you, already making it safer for him to go then you. When you brought up the fact that you’re the same age as Dick when he started, your father countered that Dick already had years more training with his parents than you.

After that you reluctantly didn’t argue, scared of seeming like nothing more than a spoiled kid. Jason in you began training together, although the two of you grew a bond it never felt right. Everyone called you close and although you liked him a part of you was resentful. You’re Father was always tougher on your training then Dick or Jason, always finding a flaw no matter how long you practice. In a way it helped you perfect your skills to the last detail. But he never told you “good job” not like Dick or Jason, it was always moving right on to the next thing. After Jason’s death the training got worse, he was somehow harder and stricter than before. You went to bed sore with aching bones and bruises from training, if you went to bed at all that is. Sometimes your sleep schedule was what was being trained, he would make you stay up for days at I time, rarely doing anything more than a nap. He told you this was similar to the training he went through, that it would make you stronger.

You never got the chance to prove it though, not even a half a year since Jason died a new boy was brought in. Tim’s the same age as you, highly intelligent and good at stealth but completely untrained. “SO WHY IS HE ROBIN!” You screeched at the man you call Father, Tim stands there glaring at you. He has a red mark on his cheek from where you slapped him when you were told he would be Robin. You were instantly yelled at and reprimanded by your Father for this, which started this argument in the first place. “I HAVE TRAINED FOR MOST OF MY LIFE FOR THIS, I HAVE DONE ALMOST EVERYTHING YOU WANTED ME TO! I FOLLOWED YOUR ORDERS I DEDICATED MY LIFE TO THIS” You scream at him, tears filling your eyes and falling down your cheeks. He just stares at you, expression blank and unchanging “what made you think I’d ever make you Robin?” Is all he says. Freezing you just stare at him crushed. “You’re dismissed” you feel like he spits it out, he doesn’t but it feels like he does “don’t ever train here again, nor even think about being a vigilante” you’ve never felt so much rage and sorrow before. You turn around to leave pushing Tim to the ground as you do ���you’re grounded!” He calls out. Without even looking back you flip him off “fuck you Bruce!”.

After that things were never the same, you never wanted to try at anything anymore. What was the point in constantly studying if it meant nothing? So you did whatever you wanted, there were barely any consequences. Bruce didn’t give a shit about you, he never truly did. Alfred always sided with Bruce, sure he called him out when he was in the wrong, but that rarely changed anything with you. Dick was as absent in your life as ever. Finally you and Tim’s relationship was shit, it would never recover, at least you didn’t care if it did or not.

Eventually though you stumbled across a niche that peaked your interest. It started small, quick one minute videos about animal biology you finished the nearly 10 year old channel's entire library of content in 2 days. Then it evolved into animal psychology and finally to humans, what made them tick. It was fascinating every last detail interested you, from the mating habits of raccoons to the study that showed most humans could pick out snakes in extremely pixelated and blurry images. Even the more questionable experiments that would never pass today, like the wire and cloth mothers, and the monster study. Things that would have been difficult to prove or research if it wasn’t for the unethicalness of it all. Hell, even the bullshit study with gorillas learning sign language was interesting, even if the whole thing was completely pointless and awfully mismanaged. It was just so interesting to learn about.

Then you stumbled across it, a familiar name, Jonathan Crane, the Scarecrow. All his published studies were almost 2 decades old, but that didn’t stop how interesting they were. Both as a glimpse into the mind of a madman who long had his license revoked and as a study in how the mind understood fear in general. Sure you were made to memorize his habits, his usual schemes, hell you even helped reverse engineer and make a cure for several of his fear toxin strands. But you never learned about his studies, never learned about the person behind the mask. But now you wanted to, desperately, of course you couldn’t just go to Arkham. Bruce would learn about it and who knows what he would do once he learns of your little…. curiosity.

No, you didn’t want that, so you lied in wait for the perfect time. But while you did so you studied, falling back into old habits. Day and night you obsessively researched human psychology, several studies both bullshit and true. You memorized everything, dates, names, places, what effects they had, any changes or new revelations in the study, what they were studying and in some cases what they ended up actually studying. You even ended up dabbing deeper into chemistry. All of this to impress someone, but you enjoyed learning these things. All of this was fun, unlike dealing with Bruce.

Then finally the day came, Scarecrow broke out of Arkham. Using the skills Bruce ground into your brain you found him. It was pretty easy, you're shocked he didn’t find Scarecrow sooner. Of course you ended up captured, tied to a chair in one of his labs. Oh also a gun pointed at your head, neat! “What are you doing here?” Scarecrow says suspiciously, a wide grin forms on your face as you happily say “I want you to teach me!” The man just looked at you strangely. Then he laughed, “this isn’t a very funny joke kid” the man sneered at you. “But I’m not! I’ve read your work Mr. Crane! It’s absolutely fascinating! I want to learn more, especially about your newer unpublished stuff!” He just stares at you, “really?” He asks, pointing the gun down. Although he doesn’t look like he believes you, “then prove it” before you can even react the gun is back at your head and he shoots.

The bullet barely misses but you don’t move, don’t even flinch, you just smile. You know how manic you look, but you don’t care. Scarecrow just stares at you surprised, he completely lowered the gun and put it away. “Well..” he mumbles, “I guess I can give you a test” that made you feel nothing but pure glee.

The costume you were put in started out simple, a almost completely black suit with blue gloves and a mask vaguely resembling a plague doctor. You thought you looked like a rip off emperor's coven member but that’s not that important. As Crow as his apprentice you were first given grunt work, helping and leading his henchman in getting supplies for whatever project he was working on. That was when you weren’t doing homework, taking notes, organizing documents. The Bat’s were completely unaware of what you were doing, sure they knew you had something after school. The one time they asked you told them you got an internship. They didn’t even bother to verify if that was true or not. Alfred was the only one who even slightly cared and even then he was just proud that you finally found a calling away from the vigilante life. Boy was he only slightly correct.

Things started ramping up after you defeated Tim, Robin in combat. The pure smug joy you felt at that moment is indescribable. The rejected Robin, who's rusty, proving that they're stronger, faster, smarter, better than the current? You were so excited you almost went into hysterics, and the fear on his face as you brutally kicked his ass? Priceless! They didn’t even realize it was you, but Scarecrow did, he recognized how similar your fighting style are instantly. At first you were worried, scared even about what he’d do now that he knew. Truthfully he was suspicious at first, but once you told him your story, how you were rejected from being Robin in favor of the second and third. How cruel they were to you before and after, even said you would tell him the secret identities of the bat’s and everyone you know is affiliated with them. Both publicly and privately, although he rejected your offer he saw your desperation. How much you want, no needed to stay, to keep this. Scarecrow accepted your loyalty and at that moment you truly became Crow.

To commemorate this occasion you got an outfit change. It became more padded, the mask looking more like a helmet then anything, and boots that increase your height by several inches. You were also made to train in a different combat style with both the added height and change of vision it was a necessity. But also to help cover your tracks as Crow from the Bat’s. So you grow, you changed, you trained and trained and they never noticed. Not when you came back injured from work, with new bruises and scars. Not when you came home with gifts, or when you brought your assignments back with you. They were completely ignorant as Scarecrow, Jonathan Crane, he became your family, your father.

Eventually though Bruce got suspicious, he never figured out who you were, not until much later. But he realized you're doing something shady, the man never put in the effort to figure out what exactly. So he sent you off to a college far from the city, of course he let you pick the field you wanted. It wasn’t too hard to figure out what to do, psychology was already your passion after all and you were being trained by the best. The only issue was Crow, how to excuse there absence. So faking an extreme injury a week before you left easily fixed that. Afterwards you packed up and went to school, a school you would never return from, not to the manor at least.

There you continued your studies, your training in all forms and your contacts with Scarecrow. The only real difficult thing was not getting caught in your less ethical studies. You spent from the age of 18 to 24 studying as much as possible in your field getting both a bachelor’s and master’s. The plan was to go for a PHD too, but sadly things were interrupted and you quickly returned home. Your dad, Scarecrow was extremely injured during a fight and was in the hospital. Someone needed to step up, that person was you.

This time your outfit changed once more, it made you look even bigger and bulkier then you were. A cloak with a feathered collar, iron gloves with clawed ends, the faceless bird helmet looking even more imposing. Everything in your power to make you look as menacing as possible, large and imposing, a night to rival the knight. As you were making your return known you discovered something interesting, a new Robin, a baby brother. Dispute your issue with your family something about this was exciting. You felt so happy and you didn’t know why, but the fact he’s a Robin? Well, the kid needed to be taught a very important lesson before he learned it the hard way.

It wasn’t hard leading him to Wayne tower by himself. Kid had the skills but no discipline, reckless and willing to do anything to prove himself worthy. You can relate, which is way it has to be you who dose this. You approach the 10 year old boy from the shadows “you came alone hatchling?” You say in a soft voice. He jumps away and wipes his head around to face you eyes wide, he pulls out his sword and points it at you. “How-“ “a magician never reveals there secrets” you say playfully “now put the sword down baby bird” he doesn’t just glares at you. He then lunges forward aiming for your throat, but it wasn’t hard to grab the blade and rip it from his hand. He stares at you wide eyed as you throw it to the other side of the building, he quickly reorganize himself and throw a punch. But you dodge it, each kick and punch he sent was easily avoided.

As he moved to kick your head you grabbed his leg, and pulled him away. “You know” you begin walking to the edge tone not changing, “in nature Crows and Robins have an interest relationship. Crows are an omnivorous creature, they don’t just eat seeds and nuts like some people will have you believe. They’ve even been reported to peck out the eyes and tongues of lambs. Robins are no exception,” you hold him over the edge and watch as his eyes widen. He squirms and yells, “Crows will actually protect the nests of Robins, for a fee of course.” Batman should appear any minute now. “There young, they take and feast on the eggs and hatchlings. They basically farm them, it’s fascinating really. Crows are one of the smartest birds, about as intelligent as a 7 year old human. We’re watching the first signs of the evolution of a society!” You say almost giddy, “little mafias! It’s adorable and fascinating!” “We’re are you going with this” you just stare down at him, your mask making it nothing more then a dark void. You can practically feel his presence close to you, “it’s simple really! I’ve never been payed my dues! And you’re just a hatchling that doesn’t know better” and you drop him.

Batman catches him of course, but by the time he does and gets back up the tower you’re already long gone.

——————

Sorry if it takes a while for me to post things! I haven’t been feeling great both physically and mentally lately.

[companionjones]

Days, Weeks, Months, Years (9/10)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Fandoms: MCU, Marvel

Warnings: Coma, Cursing, Implied almost self harm

1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // 7 // 8 // 9 // 10

*******

In the days you were gone, I mean physically there but mentally gone, the compound was at a standstill.

The only person who didn't understand it all was Valentina. She had expected to be interrogated and grilled. Maybe even tortured or maimed by Bucky or someone, but she was just locked in a room and fed three times a day. It was like she was already in prison. Which didn't make sense to her because no one knew why she did it.

****

The Avengers took shifts being in that room with you, but Bucky never left. He slept with his head on your bed and his hand holding yours. Sometimes, he was convinced to eat, but after a certain point, it was to keep himself from passing out during the day.

The Avengers took shifts being in that room with you, but Bucky was also given some time alone with you. When it was just you and him, Bucky would pray like he never had before, which he hadn't, not since the 40s, anyway. Bucky would talk to you, too.

"...Everyone...Everyone always talks to people when they're in your position. But...I don't know what else to say other than I'm sorry...I'm so sorry, doll...Not just for not being able to s-save you, but for...for not being able to be with you...Really with you. Like you deserve.

"When you first got here, I knew I was in trouble. You were everything. Smart, beautiful, badass, sexy; I barely knew what to do with myself around you. So, I did what I always do. I shut down completely, and I waited for you to go away.

"But you never did. Wherever I went, you were always there at my side. At first, I found it annoying because I could never be at ease around you, but soon, that all went away. Soon, you were you and I was me and there was nothing that could keep us apart. And...that scared me.

"Then, that first night happened. We were alone, watching that cheesy movie you love, and I...I couldn't help myself. God, that night was perfect. You were perfect. I mean, you're always perfect--But I'm getting ahead of myself.

"Despite how amazing everything was that night, I don't remember being more scared than that morning after--excluding the past few days, of course.

"I woke up that morning, I looked at you, you were still asleep, and all I could think about was fucking this up--fucking you up.

"God, I am such an idiot. I preach about how much I don't want to hurt you, yet that's what I've been doing all this time. God, why can't I just get my shit together--" Bucky's hands were shaking as he flexed them in front of his face. It looked like he was going to hit something, maybe himself.

"Stop." Your voice, barely audible, told him. You gently touched his hand that was closest to you, your weak a hand a stark contrast to his strong one.

Bucky gasped when he heard your voice and felt you touch him. "Y/n?" He wondered if you were really there.

He saw your eyes barely open to look at him.

"Hey," he softly greeted, took a big breath, then repeated, even softer, "Hey." Bucky adjusted himself accordingly to get closer to you.

The smallest of smiles appeared on your face. "Missed you."

Bucky let you take his face into your hand. He whispered, "Missed you, too."

*******

1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // 7 // 8 // 9 // 10

Author's Note: Thank you for reading! Fill up that heart and reblog if you liked it! I would also really appreciate a comment, if you have the time. If you would like to read more, check out my masterlist. Have a nice day, night, or whatever time it is for you! <3 <3 <3

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Tag List: @sidraaaaaaaaa // @dontworryboutitsweetheartxx-blog // @mayusenpai666 // @onceithough // @greatenthusiasttidalwave // @shadowzena43 // @ampersam // @sebastians-love // @cjand10 // @silentwhisper666 // @superaveng // @vicmc624 // @ltsaradharkness

[yangjungwonisms]

Sunday Blues- YJW

It was Sunday night at approximately 9:30 pm, to anyone else that just meant that yet another weekend was ending. For you and your boyfriend though, it meant that he was going to have to leave you for the week soon. Because of how busy he was during the week, you two were only able to actually physically be together during the weekend. This made the little time you two spent together even more special. But you missed him like crazy when he was gone. You felt bad because you knew it was stressful for him to be apart from you as well. You could tell something was off with him the whole day, you brushed it off not thinking much about it. Jungwon on the other hand was dragging his feet. He knew that logically he needed to head home so he was well rested for the coming week ahead. Except, the more the day went on the more his resolve was slipping. He always hated leaving you, but lately it was killing him. Being away from you was more stressful than work was, he needed to be able to come home to you at the end of his days or else he was going to go crazy.

Jungwon had decided by 9 that night he wasn’t going home that night. In fact, he wasn’t even going to work at all during this week. He had ulterior motives for taking the week off. The main reason was he just wanted to spend time with you. It had been many months since he had gotten to see you during the week. All he craved during his busy days was your presence. You were his biggest source of comfort and even though you two talked on the phone during the day and then while getting ready for bed at night he needed more. You two had already been together for over 2 years and it only made sense to be living together. Before work got so busy he and you were practically living together anyways. He had been working up the courage to ask you to move in with him. He wasn’t even sure why you two weren’t living together yet. Financially, it would make sense but it just hadn’t occurred. He wasn’t sure why exactly he was in such a mood that day. He assumed it was probably because it was yet another day he would have to leave you. He hated leaving you alone, knowing that even though you scarcely brought it up you were just as affected by his absence and he was by yours. He was starting to get worried about how it might affect the future of your relationship. The entirety of the day, he couldn’t be away from you. It was like he couldn’t get enough of you. Not that you were complaining given that you felt pretty much the same.

You two had just finished cleaning up from dinner when you noticed what the time was. “Wonie, it’s almost 10 shouldn’t you get going”? You shouted to him from the other room. But when you looked back at him he merely moved to stand up and walk over to you. He embraced you from behind immediately nuzzling his face into your neck. “Oh yeah, about that. I’m not going home”. His reply was so nonchalant that you couldn’t help the laugh that slipped out of you. “Wonie, as much as I don’t want you to leave I really don’t want you to stay out too late when you have work in the morning”. At that he pulled your body closer to his letting out a frustrated sigh in the process. “Baby, don’t make me go. I can’t be away from you anymore. It hurts and I can’t do it anymore”. You felt your heart crack in half hearing how vulnerable he was being with you. “Oh, baby you know I don’t want you to go but what else can we do”? Jungwon felt a lightbulb go off in his head, he had been strategizing for weeks over when the best time to ask you would be, it was now. “You could move in with me”. He saw your eyes go wide, you felt kind of silly having never considered it all this time. It felt like such a simple solution to an otherwise difficult situation. You suppose you never wanted to get your hopes up. “Wait, are you serious”? You could tell he was dead serious but you still needed to hear him say it. “Oh baby, I’m so serious. Think about it, doesn’t it make more sense for us to live together? Atleast this way we get to see each other everyday. Think of all the fun we could have baby. Think of all the sex we could have. So much sex baby, come on please”. You hated to admit that the sex was a selling point. You two were plenty intimate in the little alone time you got, but you couldn't help but imagine how much fun it would be to be able to have each other whenever you wanted. “Shouldn’t we discuss this more won”. He knew he was going to have to work a little harder to convince you, fortunately he had been prepared for this exact thing.

Without another word he starts walking towards your bedroom pulling you to follow in tow. Once you had gotten into the room with him he was quick to close the door and push you up against it. He started an onslaught of dirty, wet kisses starting from the corner of your mouth moving down your neck leaving hickeys in his wake. He really wasn’t playing fair, because he knew the minute he started kissing you that the rest of your willpower would melt away. Only after he’s reduced you to a whimpering mess does he pull away. He walks away from you to stand in front of your mirror. He gestures for you to follow him over there. Once you heed his command he’s quick to settle himself directly behind you. He grabbed your chin tilting your head up to make eye contact with him in the mirror. “Pay attention to me baby”. At that his hands were all over you, making quick work of the bottoms you had on. Before he moved to do anything he brings two of his fingers up to your mouth. Without him even needing to tell you what to do, you take them into your mouth sucking on them just enough to get them wet. He moved his hand down your body at a torturously slow pace before he finally settled in between your legs. He doesn’t hesitate to ease both of his fingers into your cunt. He stills his movements for a minute allowing you time to get used to the stretch. He leans in ever so slightly, planting a small kiss on the shell of your ear before whispering “hm so good for me. You see what I’m doing right baby”? He paused expecting an answer from you but you were already too far gone. He moves to pull his hand out from in between your thigh earning a whine from you. “I expect you to answer me when I ask you a question baby. Rude girls don’t get fucked and you know that”. Mustering up every bit of concentration you have you answer “Mhm wonie, I see what you’re doing. Feels so good”. He seems appeased at that, continuing his movements immediately. “Could fuck you like this all the time if we lived together baby. You’d like that right”? Not wanting to give him any reason to stop touching you answer right away “Fuck, Jungwon I need you. Need you all the time. Wanna move in with you baby”. At that, he had gotten what he wanted, but he still felt like teasing you just a little bit more. “Hmm, you only wanna move in with me because you’re so cock hungry baby”. He was messing with you but you were so fucked out merely from his fingers that you couldn’t bring yourself to give a single shit about it. “No baby, wanna move in with you because I love you so much”. He knew he had you exactly where he wanted you. “Then prove it to me”.

With zero hesitation he pushes you down on your knees, he stands there staring at you expectantly as your hands move to start undoing his belt. Once you’ve taken his cock out of his pants and stroke him a few times you move to take him in your mouth, before you can do so he stops you “Gonna let me fuck your mouth baby”? He had a brief moment of nothing but pure fondness in his eyes reaching out to cradle your face “You’ll let me know if it’s too much okay”? Nodding your head you lean in to pepper kisses around the tip. It takes you a few minutes to take all of him in your mouth, stopping every couple of seconds to allow your breathing to even out. While you’re adjusting to him he takes the time to grab your hair into a makeshift ponytail. He starts thrusting in and out of your mouth at a shallow pace wanting to get used to the feeling of your mouth around him. It didn’t take long before he had both hands planted firmly in your hair while fucking your mouth at a faster pace. After about 10 minutes of holding himself back his demeanor was starting to slip. “Oh fuck baby. Fuck so good for me like always. Making me feel so loved right now watching you choke on me like this princess”. The closer he was to finishing the more erratic his breathing got. “Oh fuck baby, gonna make me cum. Gonna cum in your mouth and you’re gonna take it all”. Within seconds he was a moaning mess holding your head in place fucking himself through his orgasm.

He’s quick to get you off in a similar way, opting to push you down onto the bed and holding your hips down while going down on you. He makes you cum twice in the span of 10 minutes, knowing how close you were from when he was finger fucking you earlier. Once he has successfully gotten you off you think you’re finally going to get some rest. But you thought wrong because as soon as Jungwon moves out from between your thighs he crawls up to you on the bed. You can feel by the slow way he’s grinding onto your bare pussy that he’s nowhere near done with you. For a second you two just mindlessly hump each other easily getting worked back up. You were so caught up in how good you felt when you feel Jungwon push into you and bottom out immediately. Normally he takes a second to calm himself down so he wouldn’t cum right away. Today, he didn’t care about that, he needed to fuck you. The vigor in which he starts fucking into you has you seeing stars. You can’t do anything except hold onto him for dear life as he pounds into you at lightning speed. You know how worked up he is by how high pitched his moans were getting. “It’s good yeah baby”? You truly can’t respond, too fucked out by how hard your boyfriend is fucking you. “fuck me harder won pls. need it harder baby”. Instead of responding he repositions you, grabbing your legs and locking them behind his back. He takes a second steadying himself on the headboard before he’s fucking you so hard the headboard is quite literally banging into the wall with abandon. Maybe it was a good thing you were moving because you were sure your neighbors were going to be filing noise complaints after this. There were no more words spoken between you two until he reaches his orgasm barely pulling out of you in time to finish all over your stomach. By the end of it, he was moaning louder than you were, and he teased you for being loud. There’s no way you’d ever let him live this down.

It always amazed you how quickly he could switch back to his sweet and soft demeanor after having just committed such lewd acts. Despite all of what you two had just done, you still weren’t sure where you stood with moving in with him. He must feel the same because you both go to speak at the same time. You concede, allowing him the opportunity to speak first. “I really do wanna live with you baby. It’s the next big step in our relationship before marriage and I think we’re ready, don’t you”? You couldn’t have said it better yourself. “Okay baby, let’s do it. Let’s move in together”. Jungwon was so thrilled you agreed to move in with him that it took every ounce of self control he had to keep himself from starting to pack your things up then and there. You are only able to get him to hold off by promising him you’d both take the week off work and get moved in with each other as soon as possible. Despite all of that he had somehow convinced you to come back to his place with him. His reasoning was that he wanted you to feel as comfortable as you could since that was your place now too. You saw right through it, the real reason he wanted you to come back with him was so he could show you all of the places he wanted to fuck you once you moved in. He was even nice enough to give you a sneak peek in almost every room of the house. Let’s just say it was an exhausting evening for the two of you.

[loopstagirl]

Bad Day

For @febuwhump day 2: Holding Back Tears

Warning: Strong language

TW: Suicidal themes

John sipped from the take-away cup as he traversed the familiar corridors. He didn’t need to look at the signs any longer. 

“GET OUT!” 

“Shit.”  

He ran, ignoring the scalding the liquid spilling over his fingers. They weren’t supposed to be back yet. He should’ve had had 9.5 minutes to make it back to the room and be ready for however the session had gone. But they were back early. He didn’t need Gordon’s shout to know that it hadn’t been a good session. 

The room felt full when John burst in. The physical therapist, doctor, and two nurses were crowded around the bed. Gordon was resisting as much as he could. 

“No, I don’t want – just leave me – no!” 

“Hey.” John didn’t notice when he put his drink down but he had both hands free as he slipped through the crowd. The nurse was attempting to reattach Gordon’s IV while the others were looking close to holding his brother down. Which felt ironic given only Gordon’s upper body had any movement.  

“I’ve got this.” 

The nurse backed away. They’d been in this position enough times over the last few weeks. They’d ended up teaching John how to do the IV himself, knowing that Gordon got more and more agitated the longer he felt he was being crowded. 

“I can’t breathe,” Gordon muttered, his pain-filled gaze finding his big brother’s. 

“Yes, you can.” John glanced around. “I’ve got it,” he repeated in a firm tone this time. Three out of the four people left. The doctor made a note on Gordon’s chart, nodded at John, and followed his colleagues out the door. 

Gordon immediately exhaled loudly. John pulled round a chair, making sure to give his brother space. Gordon had never been one for claustrophobia beforehand, but John figured being trapped in a destroyed hydrofoil as the water rushed in was enough for anyone not to like being enclosed. He’d give his brother time to calm down before reinserting the line. Although he wanted to get the pain meds into Gordon has quickly as possible, he didn’t want to agitate him further. 

Breathing heavily, Gordon looked away from John.  

“Not a good day?” John asked quietly. He didn’t need Gordon to tell him the session had gone badly. Some days, there was a hint of movement in his lower body. Other days, Gordon was full of his usual optimism, adamant to keep trying no matter what his treacherous body was doing. 

Then there were days like today. They were less common than they’d been at the beginning now some of the other injuries had healed and weren’t radiating additional agony through his broken body. But the days when Gordon didn’t want to fight; didn’t want to try; didn’t want to hurt... Those were the days that broke John’s heart, even though he had to keep that to himself. 

“Go away,” Gordon muttered. “You’ve got better things to do than sit here.” 

“Not really,” John said casually. He balanced his foot on the opposite knee and retrieved his coffee from where he’d put it. 

He was fortunate, so fortunate, to be between missions. He wasn’t sure if it was his Tracy name or just because the commander liked him. But he’d been allowed to take some extended leave, despite knowing it would be a hard slog to get back to optimal conditions before being allowed on the next flight.  

He didn’t care how hard he had to work: it would be nothing compared to what Gordon was going through. They’d convinced Virgil to go back to college and Scott had had no choice but to return to the Air Force or face a disciplinary. Not that he cared, but whatever their dad had said had finally got through to him once he realised John was staying. Likewise, Alan had been forced back to school. They all called every day. 

Gordon’s entire body was rigid with tension. John could only guess how much that was hurting him right now. He glanced at the IV and Gordon seemed to sense it. 

“Go on then,” he said. His tone was bitter. It was so unlike the happy man he’d been just 24 hours before the crash. But John couldn’t blame him. Pain was exhausting. “Drug me up. Make me sleep. Means you don’t have to deal with me.” 

“Is that what you think I’m doing? Dealing with you?” 

“You can’t want to be here. You’ve got a career. You’ve got something you love still waiting for you. You can’t want to sit by a cripple’s bedside.” 

“Gordon.” His tone was a warning. Despite being in pain, despite having a bad day, Gordon still reacted to having a big brother in the room. 

“What? Why shouldn’t I call myself that? It’s what I am. I still can’t feel my feet. I can’t move my legs. Probably never will again. Everything I was, everything I wanted, none of that matters anymore.” 

It was nothing Gordon hadn’t said before, but that didn’t make it any less painful to hear. John kept his expression neutral. Any sort of reaction would be the wrong one. 

“The doctors are still optimistic. You should be, too.” 

“Fuck off.” 

It was only because Gordon was facing away from him that John allowed himself to close his eyes for a few seconds. There was no getting through to his little brother when he was like this, and John hated it. He was supposed to be an expert at communication: there had to be something he could say. 

Instead, he stood up. With deft, well-practised movements, he connected the IV to the catheter in Gordon’s arm. He didn’t say anything until he saw some of the tension leave Gordon’s body as the pain-meds kicked in. 

“It’s going to be okay, Gordy,” he murmured. 

Gordon shook his head. “No, it’s not.”  

He still refused to look at John. “I can’t live like this. I can’t take it anymore. I wish I’d never woken up from that coma. I wish I’d never even gone into a coma!” 

John knew what he meant. He didn’t mean that he wished he’d stayed conscious for the entire time. 

“Gords-,” 

“I can’t do this.” His breath hitched on a broken sob. “I can’t do this.” 

John didn’t say anything. For once, he didn’t have the words. He rested a hand gently on Gordon’s shoulder. When his brother finally looked back at him, the expression on his face made John’s heart shatter into a thousand pieces. It took every ounce of his strength keeping that from his own expression, though. It wouldn’t help Gordon. 

“Let me go, Johnny,” Gordon whispered. 

“Never.” John said fiercely. He lent forward until he rested his forehead against his little brother’s. “Never.” 

He could tell from the way Gordon was going slack under his grip that it hadn’t just been pain medication in the drip. He wasn’t surprised. The main thing that Gordon needed when he was having a day like this was sleep. A chance to let his body heal without having to be conscious of broken bones knitting themselves back together, nerves fighting to join up, joints working out which way they were supposed to go. 

John waited until Gordon had gone under before he straightened up. He swallowed hard, biting his lip as he looked around the room. His brother would be out for a few hours. Suddenly, John found he couldn’t be here. Not right now. 

He hurried from the room, lifting his hand to a nurse as he did so. The hospital staff had got so used to there always being someone in Gordon’s room that the family tried to let them know when he was being left alone, just in case. 

John walked without thinking. He didn’t stop until he was in a deserted corridor, the noise and hustle of the building falling away. He rested both hands on the wall, head hanging as he forced himself to breathe. Slow, measured breaths, in...out...in... out. 

It didn’t help the prickling in his eyes. He swallowed again, keeping his attention on his breathing, squeezing his eyes shut. He couldn’t cry. He didn’t have the right to cry. Gordon needed him to be strong. He’d told the others that it was okay for them to go, that he would be here. He had to hold it together... 

But when Gordon was having a bad day, it was damn hard. 

Keeping one hand braced against the wall, he pulled out his cell. It was answered on the first ring. 

“I know you’ve just got back to the apartment-,” 

“Bad day?” 

“Yeah.” 

His dad didn’t need him to say anything more. 

“On my way.” 

They were trying to take it in turns. Gordon didn’t need constant monitoring, but he hated being alone and the two of them were tag-teaming. Jeff had rented an apartment near-by and they were trying to make it a routine that the other went there, ate, rested, showered, when they weren’t on duty. It was the only way they were going to keep going. 

But right now, John couldn’t do this. He needed his dad. 

He gave it a few moments before heading back to Gordon’s floor in order to meet the man. His dad’s coat was half undone, his hair wet from where he’d grabbed a shower, but his eyes were alert. HIs hand was steady as he put it on John’s shoulder. 

“I’ve got this.” His voice was calm, full of the reassurance that John needed. 

He sagged, his dad’s grip stopping him from sinking to the floor in relief. That was exactly what he needed to hear. His eyes shut and this time, one single, treacherous tear slipped down his face. His dad’s thumb brushed it away. 

“Go and get some sleep, John. Everything’s going to be okay.” 

That phrase again. The one he’d tried on Gordon, only for it to fail to make any impact. But as he watched his father gesture over a nurse to get the latest update on his son, he found his dad’s words did what his couldn’t. 

It made him believe he might be right.

[mortallyshamelessgiver]

Kiss Land

Ellie x reader

I wrote this listening to weeknds Kissland and this song inspired this story

The whole of Jackson had noticed the shifted atmosphere since Joels death. It wasn’t hard to notice how Tommy had basically locked himself away and refused any help. No one knew what was happening behind those closed doors.

The same happened with Ellie, except she was not as good as hiding with what was happening behind those doors. Everyone had noticed.

She had taken 2 weeks off of patrolling duty and every week she had started to look more tired and gotten more aggressive.

It didn’t take her long to stop talking to people she didn’t know, her introvert traits growing more dominant. But it was more worrying, when she had stopped talking to her friends and cut all contact to the outside world.

Well, not all. She was still linking up with all kind of women, and the only one she would talk to was you.

At first you had so naively thought she was talking to you because you were special, maybe she liked you because you and her had been so close?

Even an idiot would have realized the only reason Ellie had kept contact with you was because of the free “painkillers” and sleeping drugs you had been giving her, for free.

Why did you stay with her? Well an idiot wouldn’t have figured that out. You loved her but more importantly she was giving you just the right amount of attention for you to not be able to pull away.

“See? All stitched up!”

You told the boy that was lying in the hospital bed, after an accident that had happened during his patrolling.

“That girl is crazy! If I hadn’t been there the chick would have been dead.”

He said grunting slightly. Your eyes snapped towards him as you washed your bloody hands.

“Who?”

A dry chuckle escaped his throat.

“Ellie, since Joels death she has been crazy to deal with, always attempting suicide missions. I get it he died but that was months ago. It’s her fault I got hurt… Maria needs to teach that girl some responsibility”

Your gaze hardened as you looked at him. You dried your hands and walked to him.

“Responsibility? Like you have?”

He tilted his head slightly.

“I’ve been working here long enough to recognize a hangover. Maybe next time don’t drink as much the night before maybe then will you be able to avoid mistakes like these”

You had slipped yourself some sleeping pills before ending your shift and made your way to Ellies cabinet.

It was summer, so even tho it had been late the sun had only started to set a few minutes ago.

Dusk was your favorite time of the day. You felt at peace walking down the already so familiar streets of Jackson, in the warm summer air.

You were twisting the small plastic bag, with the pills in it, between your fingers as you neared Ellies cabin. You heard muffled talking comming from the inside which made you wonder who could be in there.

You opened the door and your eyes slightly widened at the sight infront of you.

Cat, an ex girlfriend of Ellie was sitting on her bed laughing at something Ellie had said. Ellie was leaning against her desk with a glass of what seemed to be whiskey in her hand.

Ellies eyes drifted over to you but then back at Cat. They both acknowledged your presence, but ignored it. Your heart ached slightly and your lips couldn’t help but turn downward into a frown.

You abruptly turned to leave the way you came in, but Ellie had called out your name, which made you turn around.

“Hm?” You hummed and she raise her eyebrow.

“Didn’t you come here to leave me… the things?” She asked awkwardly which made you breath out the anger, that was building in your chest.

You threw the plastic bad at her, with her quick reflexes she caught it nonchalantly, right before it hit her. She raised her eyebrow at your action.

“Is that all I am good for now? First, you shut us all out completely! Refusing to let us help you, pretending you still care just so I do all your dirty work: Keeping your job for you and delivering you drugs and these stupid bottles!”

Your voice had been laced with a hurtful and mad tone. You had slammed the rest of the pills on her table and glared at her. She was looking right back at you, her gaze slowly hardening. Without even looking at Cat she had told her to leave.

A small tear was about to fall down your eye but you rolled your eyes and turned back to the direction of the door.

“You’re not going anywhere!” Ellie had told you roughly but you had ignored her, stepping out the door right after Cat. Before you could leave, she had grabbed you by the arm and pulled you back into her cabin and abruptly closed the door.

“Let me out!” You told her but she shook her head.

“No!”

You tried to push her away but she grabbed you by the wrist and held you in place. Feeling trapped you immediately tried to release her grip off you.

“Stop! Stop it!” She had told you in a angry but calm tone and let you go.

“For too long have I let you use me.”

“Dina, Jesse everyone left because I did not give them a reason to stay. I didn’t give you a reason either, but you decided to stay anyway. I never asked you to!”

Ellie spat back at you, and it felt like your heart was being squeezed. It was so painful you couldn’t breath normally.

“Then get out of my way and let me leave now…. Please.”

Without hesitation, she moved out of the way and left you standing at the door, looking like an idiot.

She walked to the pills you had provided for her, popped one, and poured it down with some whiskey. She lit a joint and walked to her bed.

Like a fool you had been watching her.

“I am worried about you”

You said quietly and she couldn’t help but let out a scoff.

“I don’t care about you, why are you worried about me?”

Wow. Without saying anything you had left and smashed the door shut.

You hated her in that moment and for many more weeks to come.

You had not checked up on her once in those weeks, the pain of her words had sunk in and left you hurt.

But you needed more.

Pain was everything that made you… feel. You had been hurt, when she had said those things to you. And whenever you needed to feel anything, you were thinking back to her words.

And her? What was happening with Ellie. As much as she tried, she could not love or care for you. Mentally, she wasn’t ready.

But she craved you.

She was never really alone, not with all the people she would wake up to. But she felt alone, no-one would be there to annoy her, no-one would check up on her, tie up her hair, cook her warm foods or scold her.

She hated being alone.

You had been working in the “ER” stitching up some guys wound. You had been numb for days now. The days had passed and you hadn’t even realized it. It seemed like life just stood still.

But then you saw Ellie walking in.

Maria had dragged her in and sat her down in one of the hospital beds.

Ellie wasn’t even acknowledging Maria, her eyes had been glued to you just as yours had been glued to her.

You had noticed how tired she looked. Eye-bags, messy hair and her body was slightly shaking.

When Maria came over to you and tried explaining what had happened you couldn’t listen.

Your eyes were glued to her too.

“When was the last time you slept?”

You asked her coldly. She chuckled but there was no real joy behind it.

“I tried everything y’know? But i still can’t sleep at night…”

You nod. Of course she couldn’t. She was going through withdrawals.

“Uh… try drinking water”

You mumble and she looks up at you with pleading eyes.

“Please.”

Your eyes immediately met hers. She was looking at them searching for some glimpse of love you might still have for her.

“I need your pills… please!”

You frowned.

“I’m sorry please… I need to sleep I can’t keep up with this for any longer.”

You had averted your eyes, too pained to look at hers. You pulled out two pills and put it in her hands.

For the next two days you hadn’t heard anything from her, not even Maria had heard from her.

You had started to worry. What if something had happened? Fueled by Guilt and Fear you had made your way over to her cabin after work.

Once you arrived at her doorstep, you heard a familiar tune playing from inside. Had she picked up Joels Guitar?

You pressed down the handle of the door and entered the room. And there you saw her, the big guitar in her arms, her fingers brushing over the chords while looking down at the instrument.

When you had entered the room her gaze had driftet from her guitar to your face. She played the last tone and then put her hand on the strings of the guitar, silencing the melody.

A heavy sigh left your body, your heartbeat quickening in response to her intense gaze.

“How are yo-“

“Thank you!”

You both started at the same time. You pressed your lips together and watched her as she removed guitar from her body and put it on her desk.

“I finally slept again… after days of not being able to do so.”

An uncomfortable silence passed and you squinted your eyes at her and hummed.

“Mh.. congratulations. If that’s all I’ll see myself out.”

“Wait! Let me say something first, please”

Your head tilted to the sight s you let out a slow sigh.

“Listen… I’m trying, hard, to try and care but if I‘m being honest, I‘m not sure if i want to, because everytime someone gets close to me, they die.“

You looked over her face and saw a small frown tug at her lips.

“But I’m scared of being alone and right now the only person that has not left me is you!”

You looked away, feeling guilty for the last weeks.

“And i miss you.”

Your eyes drifted back to her face.

“Ellie, I- “

You bit your tongue holding back what you wanted to say.

Ellie sat back on her bed and leaned her forearms on her thighs looking at you.

“I miss you too, maybe once I even loved you.” You say quietly. Ellie did not seem surprised to your revelation.

“I know.” She said and your jaw slightly dropped. She knew but still did what she did.

You couldn’t help but feel the familiar pang in your chest.

“You always do this… you always hurt me!”

You tell her and she straightens her back.

“And you always stay.”

A cold laugh escaped your throat and you clenched your jaw out of anger.

“Fuck you!”

Ellie stood up from the bed.

“No! You don’t get to be mad at me for this, you knew what I was from the start!”

Your eyes drifted up to her face and you scoffed. “Yeah i did, and I’m an idiot for not leaving!”

You saw her hand form into fists angrily.

“You don’t get to leave me!”

She says as she walks up close to you and looks directly into your eyes.

“You don’t even want me.” You shoot back, your voice full of emotions.

Ellie was so quick with what she did next; she crashed her lips into yours and kissed you roughly. You were surprised at first, but you quickly gained control of the situation. Instead of shoving her away you kissed her back and tilted your head to the side kissing her more passionately.

The kiss was not filled with love, no kt was frustration, anger and need.

She shoved you against the wall, which made you gasp when you collided with the hard wall.

“You think I don’t want you?” She asked you roughly gripping the hem of your shirt and pulling it over your head.

Pathetically you did not fight back instead you replied.

“You only want me when you need something!”

She threw you shirt on the floor and a let out a humorless laugh.

“And you only come back when you need to feel something.”

She grabbed your face and kissed you again. You grabbed her arm and pulled her closer to you, your fingernails digging into her skin. She grabbed you by the waist and pulled you closer to her walking backwards to her bed.

There was no love between you, but it wasn’t just casual like so many girls had been for Ellie. She sat down on the bed and pulled you on her lap, her kiss grew hungrier as her tongue entered your mouth and she started biting your lips.

Her grip on your hips and her bites on your lips got harder which made you whimper in pain.

You pulled away and tasted a metallic taste in your mouth.

“You think I’m using you?” She asked, her voice seemed laced with a sad but angry tone.

“You’re just as fucked as I am!”

She flipped you around on the bed and kissed your bloody lips again, moaning against you when she tasted the blood in her mouth.

Her knee found its way in between your thighs and pushed up which created an oddly pleasurable. You moaned against her lips and she pulled away and looked down at you.

“You need this” she mumbled and pulled away from you, and you noticed how her lips were smeared with your blood as she leaned down again. She cupped your face and pulled you away roughly.

“Say you need me!”

She told you roughly. You layed back, out of breath and looked up at her.

Nothing happened for a few seconds, the only thing keeping you sane was Ellies eyes on yours.

“I need you… but not like this.”

She smirked. You were baffled as you watched her smirk. She unzipped your pants and pulled them down.

You tried to stop her but she pinned down you hands on the bed.

“You crave me like this!” She told you.

“You know it better than I so stop lying to me but more importantly stop lying to yourself.”

She pulled down your jeans and took off her own clothes.

You were staring at her.

“Admit it!”

She told you roughly.

“Fuck you!”

You said again getting angrier at her attitude.

Her smirk didn’t leave her face, instead she leaned in.

“You already are!”

She kissed you hungrily again and undid your hair, letting it fall down your shoulders.

She gripped it and pulled your head back and began biting your neck.

You moaned desperately as her other hand found its way in your panties.

“Huh you dont need me?”

She looked over your chest but she needed you more that moment.

She moved down in between your thighs and moved your panties out of the way, immediately connecting her mouth with your pussy.

You couldn’t help but moan. Your hands found her hair and gripped them tightly. You could feel her getting more aggressive with you, which added to the pleasure at first.

You whimpered in pain soon.

“Ellie stop” you managed to say and she stopped immediately. You bit your lip hardly, brushed some hair out of your face and sat up.

Ellie admired your face for a second. You looked beautiful. She moved towards you again and kissed you.

But it wasn’t love that kept you in her bed, and it wasn’t love for Ellie either. Maybe the love you both once had for each other, which was now all gone, ofcourse and replaced with need, anger and despair.

[witchyliterature]

(2.5) THE TIME HE STAYED IN; OLIVER AIKU

0.7k words

2 OF “EASY” - M.LIST - 3 OF “EASY”

the morning glow seeped in through the peaks of the curtains, the soft breeze flowing in through the window aired out the smell of sweat and sex that coated the air thickly from last night.

soft snores escaped from your lips, harmonising with the chirps from the birds outside.

the sharp rings from his phone rung, he had woken before his alarm - per usual.

he groggily turned his phone alarm off, turning back to face your squished cute face against the pillow, a smile slowly grew on his face.

sadly, he needed to go to practice, at least, that was what his brain was telling him.

but it was like his heart and soul was stuck to the bed, his eyes glued onto your face and his fingers buzzed with excitement as he remembered that you were his, his to hold, touch, explore and have.

soon, you began to awaken yourself. you were used to waking up early due to your workouts being early in the morning.

you opened your eyes and rubbed them while your stretched, your eyes roaming around until they found him right next to you, just like he always would be.

“morning baby.” you smiled, your raspy morning voice sounding like a symphony to him.

“morning baby.” oliver repeated, smiling along with you as his arms started to pull you closer to his chest.

you giggled in response, letting him drag into his hold because that was where you felt safest, with his arms around you and his voice, balming and sweet and dipped in honey whispering sweet nothings into your ear.

“need to get up soon, i’ve got practice.” oliver had told you, knowing you hated when he left.

“no you don’t.” you groaned into his chest, causing oliver to chuckle softly.

“sadly, i do.” oliver laughed.

“come on, stay in today. i’ll make your favourite, we can put on that horrible movie we started yesterday night and we can hang out together all day.” you persuaded, pulling yourself out of his hold momentarily to looking into his eyes.

his eyes were enchanting, two different colours that pulled you into a trip. you felt high on happiness and drunk on love, the cross fade allowing you to feel like you were in an eternal heaven.

“you always tell me to stay in.” oliver argued back.

“and you never listen!” you huffed childishly.

“because i need to be the best, you know how that lost to blue lock was for us.” he sighed.

you looked at him as his face dropped and his smile faltered slightly. that loss had truly impacted his confidence, which he had a lot of.

“honey, just because they beat you, doesn’t take away from your own abilities. anyone knows that you’re a great player, things happen and sometimes they suck. doesn’t mean that you’re suddenly the bottom of the barrel.” you spoke out softly, your hand found a place in his hair as you gently scratched his scalp - his eyes fluttered and he started humming, he loved when you did that.

“you’re right.” he muttered. you had always said that he was an amazing player, he wanted to believe you so bad but everytime he remembers how they lost to a team of 16 to 18 year olds, it starts to feel embarrassed he even assumed he was even a average player.

however, you were always there to care for him. to brush his hair back, look into his eyes and tell him that you were his number one fan, that he was still one of the best and things happen.

oliver sometimes thought he must be annoying you with his insecure rants, he hated girls who would do that to him. but you never argued back, never got angry and never invalidated his feelings.

it’s felt so nice to be loved, too nice.

how was he supposed to let you go?

“maybe i’ll stay in today.” oliver sighed as your head scratches started to form into a head massage.

you cheered in response, pulling his face in and peppering his face with kisses. squealing ‘thank you’s in between, making his smile widen.

but his smile quickly faltered as he remembered, no matter how good the fantasy was, no matter how loved he felt, he had to let you go.

and it scared him how that thought had made him feel sick.

[ryoshiwaah]

chapter 15: mistletoe pt.2

a/n: lowkey short chapter bc I had to dig to find my motivation.

The day after, Y/n woke up to loud voices echoing in the house; being half-asleep, she rubbed her eyes and sat up, taking in her surroundings: next to her, where Minji was sleeping the night before, was a tidy bed. 

The sight made the youngest groan in frustration, annoyed that her friend was probably having breakfast without her, and also dared to stop cuddling her. Unacceptable.

As she stared at the empty space for a little more, contemplating the way she could use the situation to make Minji feel guilty and receive more presents on Christmas’s day, from the corner of the eye, a glimpse of a note caught her attention.

On the pillow, there was a folded piece of paper that said “for Y/n”.

Curiosity and worry got the best of our stupid protagonist and she opened it, to her, it was either a suicide note or a lame joke that Minji thought once she woke up.

Opening it with trembling fingers, Y/n thought of the worst and her anxiety only flared up at the words slurred into the piece of paper. 

“I’m sorry about last night, I shouldn’t have kissed you back. I’m sorry for writing this and for leaving you alone.”

The first paragraph was apology after apology, the ink blurred and made a mess because of the wet stains on the paper, signaling that Minji was crying while writing the letter. The doubt creeped into her mind that this was all a dream.

She had to be dreaming.

“Writing this feels like betraying you, Y/n, but the guilt of ending up becoming more… I can’t live with it. You don’t deserve it, the hate of the netizens if they find out, the looks on our parents' faces.”

A desperate, sarcastic giggle left her lips. The hopes of another Christmas together were shattering right in front of her. That couldn’t be their last Holidays together, it wasn’t possible. After almost a decade of being friends, Minji was letting everything go because of a kiss?

The promise of growing up and succeeding together, the secrets – Their entire lives.

Did all of that simply didn’t matter anymore to her?

“I know you’d be able to keep it up in front of the world, but I’m different. I’m not like you, I’m not strong nor patient, and if I can’t love you freely I’d rather not love you at all. My feelings will pass and yours will too. I’m sure of it, you’re easily bored after all.”

The piece of paper fell to the ground with calmness despite the weight of the words written on it. Y/n didn’t talk, her head felt light and dizzy, overwhelmed with dread, sadness, anger and fear.

Slowly, the loud voices began to have a meaning, becoming distinct sounds: Y/n could hear Minji’s mother yelling at someone, her own mother trying to reason with her, while a male voice, perhaps Minji’s brother, was gradually raising his voice.

Did they know what happened? Maybe Minji came back and they were lecturing her. 

With trembling legs and a heart filled with delusion, Y/n almost tripped on her own Christmas shoes as she ran to the kitchen, flying on the steps of the stairs. It was clearly one of Minji’s pranks.

She never pranked her to be honest, but maybe the Holidays’ spirit made her let loose.

Minji wasn’t in the kitchen, or in the house, not even in town anymore. Y/n learned from the girl’s mother the truth behind the piece of paper: she had called a cab and went back to the dorms, claiming the company needed her as soon as possible.

They tried to make her come back but she was adamant, always justifying her actions with the same sentence – “The company needs me.”

Y/n lost hope once again, she spent her holidays locked in her room, barely getting out to eat. Minji did the same, training, eating, sleeping, repeat; her instructor checked on her from time to time, but she would always lock her door and shut off everyone.

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[skunkes]

mentioned before I havent felt any tangible significant benefit from meds yet which is fine bc it takes a while to kick in but one small good thing i have noticed so far is even when I get little sleep I feel less tired when I wake up

I don't feel completely incapacitated and in need of being in bed all day, fighting off the urge to nap, to recharge.

I also 1. actually get "Sleepy" now... instead of just feeling very hollowly "Tired" and like i Should be going to bed to try to sleep even though I don't feel like it, because it's about time to be doing that I guess, leading to tossing and turning for 3 hrs before finally succumbing to sleep.

and 2. I actually doze off. Instead of forcing self to try and initiate sleep...this has only ever happened during my rare Naps where im so tired that sleep puts me down by force. Never in actual night time sleep setting... im like dropping my phone and struggling to stay awake sometimes now. At night!!!

None of this is in any of the results I've seen for the medication so i dont even care if its some weird placebo somehow 😭 im jst glad its happening

[earl-grey-crow]

.

[sapsolais]

sometimes you have a shitty day but there are things that make it easier to keep going like:

- being silly with basically strangers

- hugs when you really need them

- quiet 3 am phone calls with people you really love

[heartshattering]

5 AM

Just me and my overactive mind facing the nighttime again 🙃

[ofcowardiceandkings]

the sinus headaches are already not great but Extra Shit has been added to the pile and im just sat on that right now trying to figure out what the fuck to do

[zaddyazula]

not even funny how hard i was crying yesterday like jesus christ

[depresseddepot]

I hate the US grading system !!!