#and then i gave her an eye patch and it didnt make sense until i reached the legs and was like

[triglycercule]

in a just kidding kinda mood. canon nightmare is so serious and then i made her. she's a total dweeb she thinks that she's allat just because she ate a black (rotten) apple once and it was so bad she thinks she she's a goopy monster. that's not actually how she got to this (she got bullied in elementary school and wants to express her true self now in high school) but the black apple was involved (she ate a rotten apple and it was so bad she remembered her embarrassing elementary school fantasy and realized she liked it).

she's totally goth but she doesn't realize it (and i CANNOT be bothered to draw a goth esque outfit combined with the jk uniform). the book club is her headquarters and whoever joins the club becomes part of her gang (friends! because she's terrible at socializing and this is a way of being more outgoing) and then they have to do usual stuff goons do like helping nightmare study for tests (so she can further her insatiable quest for knowledge) and going to the mall with her (carrying her bags obviously. a queen cant be seen with shopping bags.) her goons MUST call her lady night or else she'll get upset. god jk!nightmare you're such a goddamn loser how many more dumb ideas can i come with for you

comments from..... oeople??? here's dream. they're on good terms because i hate dreamtale angst and i want them to be happy and healthy siblings. nightmare also uses her gang to moniter dream and make sure she's not getting in trouble. but then she also gets to play villian with dream where dream is the damsel in distress. or the hero. depends!

"well, one day nighty just came downstairs for breakfast dressed like... that. she spoke in a different way and acted different and especially looked different. needless to say, the family and i were confused."

"but, after she explained it, it actually made a surprising amount of sense despite the... change. nighty used to get bullied back in our old elementary school, and she claims that now that we're in high school, she wants to "embrace the true self that's been whispering pleas of freedom". er... whatever that means."

"of course i support it, she's my sister and all! i'd even say this persona of nightmare's is much funnier to interact with, and she's even made some friends thanks to her new self of the sort. honestly, as her sister? i couldn't be more happy to see nightmare thriving compared to before."

"but my only concern... is her makeup safe for long-term use?"

all of the mtt (most of the school actually) did NOT fall for the little act nightmare's putting up. even killer. no matter how brainrotted she is from the internet even she wouldn't fall for that. nightmare invited them to the gang (club) and both killer and dust were on board to join. because killer found her funny and dust likes books. and then horror was dragged along because of course she was. live laugh love jk!mtt

"nightmare?? oh, you mean lady night! yeah, i know her. pretty well, in fact~ she's appointed me as her right hand woman, which means i get to do all sorts of cool things, like coming up with literature recommendations and organizing when the gang meets up! she's pretty cool, y'know? i just gotta make sure to stop laughing whenever she calls me a "goon", hehe..."

"nightmare's nice. she likes reading, i like reading, so obviously i had to join the gang. she likes more fantasy style stuff, but i prefer sci-fi. not that big of a deal though, considering we read a variety of books in the clu- i mean, her "gang". sorry. don't tell her i said that, or else i'll be sent on a "mission" to "battle her homework" or whatever."

"oh, "lady night", "queen of negativity"... she's hilarious. it's so funny seeing her act like she has magical powers and all the yada yada about "the black apple" and "multiversal conquering". i mean, not many people in the school really believe her little schtick she's got going on, but most humor her. 'sides, she's a genuinely good person under all that makeup and acting anyways, so i like her. all i wanna know is, why does she keep her shoelaces untied?"

this idea is SO DUMB IM DYING. feared multiversal terror turned into a high school girl with the worlds most EMBARRASSING delusion. what universe are we in (the jk!universe dummy!). anyways dream design in the works (i already have the design done just need to color it!) and then quite possibly more aus will be jk-fied. ink may possibly be the first sans to NOT wear a skirt. who know,,,,s,,,,,,

[xspeter]

could u write something for carl grimes where the reader and him reunite? set in like season 4 after carl and rick think judith had been killed. and like the reader was with judith and ran her away from danger but carl and rick didnt know until they saw them both again?

INNOCENT

carl grimes x fem!reader

you never imagined you’d be in an apocalypse at 14 years old, let alone taking care of the sister of your friend alone.

➪ thank you sm for the request!

-

“it’s okay, it’s okay, please judith- just stop crying!” you begged, doing your best to scavenge for something, anything, that was suitable for a baby to eat.

being in an apocalypse was already hard, but having to take care of a baby as well as your self in an already cruel world? it might as well have been suicide.

you could hear the walkers getting closer, five maybe ten of them? when you could hear their footsteps practically in front of you you decided to just give up on your scavenging and run.

you seemed to be doing a lot of that lately, running. you had always known the governor was dangerous, rick worried about him practically every second of the day, but you never really understood just how dangerous he really was.

that’s probably why when he finally did attack, you were anything but prepared. carl had warned you that things weren’t going to end up all sunshine and rainbows, that people were probably going to die.

you wish he was still there to knock some sense into you.

you have no idea what happened to him, really you had no idea what had happened to anyone. for all you knew everyone was dead.

you decided not to think about as you stumbled into a neighborhood. a nice neighborhood. “maybe things are looking up for us jude..” you murmured, holding the baby closer to your chest.

-

you scavenged a house, going through drawers and cabinets. it looked like mostly everything had been taken, so you decided to check the upstairs. right when you were beginning to ascend the stairs, you heard a growling coming from one of the rooms.

you took a deep breath and set judith down in the bed in front of you, pulling out your knife and rounding the corner towards the room. the door was closed, and as you looked closer at it you noticed the words written on it.

“walker got my shoe, but it couldn’t get me.”

you let out a breath as you realized whoever had said written that was probably close, and people close could mean your group.

you smiled as you ran to get judith, she seemed to notice your mood and began clapping her hands as you perched her on your hip.

running out of the house, you began to look inside each and every window. “cmon.. please be here.” you muttered as you looked in the last houses window.

there were open cans and a couch seemingly pushed against the door, and on top of the couch was… a hat.

a sheriffs hat.

“carl…” you gasped, beginning to pound on the door. you heard the sound of a couch being moved, and you did your best to make yourself atleast a little presentable.

when the door opened, you gave a sad smile to the broken man standing before you. rick seemed to be bruised all over, his hair torn in patches. “hi, rick.” you smiled as he dropped to his knees, his eyes never leaving his daughter.

you gently handed her over to him as he began to burst into tears, when you looked behind him to the boy staring at you in shock. carl. your smile seemed to get impossibly wider as he stood next to his father, tears in his own eyes.

he looked up at you, a smile on his lips. “thank you, thank you, thank you,” he repeated like a mantra as he hugged you tighter than you’ve ever been hugged before.

“it was really no problem, really!” you reassured, fighting your own tears. carl smiled as he pulled you tighter against his him.

you were finally home.

-

i hope this was okay! this was my first request like ever so i was a little stressed lol

©️ 𝐱𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫

[honeybyte]

you got questions oc meme! For the whole axe and cleaver gang: 6, 19, 35, 46, 47, 50 :)

YES thank youuu!!!

6. if they were badly injured and couldnt go to a hospital, who would they go to?

OOH okay so for goliath and euan, this is actually super easy bc it would be elle. elle first and foremost. really, none of their group has much of a choice BUT elle, but. but but.

elle is who euan took goliath to whenever he was bleeding. when goliath's eye was taken, it was elle who patched him up. elle may seem a bit strange, but they're who each would turn to in a time of crisis. and when it comes time for elle to call for help, they have 4 people who will come to their aid.

19. how easy is it to become their friend?

for agnes and angus, it's extremely easy; both are friendly, outgoing people. euan takes some practice and like. the emotional equivalent of cats sniffing each other thru a door. elle is friendly w everyone, but being their friend is a completely different thing, and that's a lot harder to do-- gotta earn their and 12 identities' trust to do that. goliath is just shut off from everyone, so you're not going to actually be his friend until you break thru level 14 of his trauma and even then he's not going to be super friendly w you, he just wont. try to beat you within an inch of your life when you close the door too hard.

odelia is very friendly. do not get close to her.

35. do they believe in fate, or do they believe they're in charge of their own destiny?

goliath and elle have no opinion on this matter, for several reasons. agnes is very romantic and believes in fate, angus and euan believe in taking charge of your own destiny (for different reasons, but they came to the same conclusion). odelia believes in fate and it enables and empowers her decisions. this is not a good thing.

46. would they lie to get out of trouble?

yes: goliath, elle

no: angus, euan, agnes

they lie anyway: odelia

47. would they lie to get someone else out of trouble? even if they had to take their place?

yes: goliath, elle

no: angus

they'd try to lie but they're terrible liars: agnes, euan

odelia, who lies 41546312316 times a day, regardless of circumstance, has no place in this particular poll

50. What's your favorite thing about them?

Agnes: i love that she's so romantic, esp abt her studies. she has a certain type of love for theology that makes me giddy to think abt, and her love for her studies seeps into the rest of her personality

Elle: they're very. hm. relatable, in a way. esp when we consider that they have a heavy mask, where they spend a lot of time acting as a jovial and lovely person, and when the sign turns to 'closed' they shrink in on themself and become fairly morose, a little too in their head abt everything that happens to them. but still they persist, which i find admirable

Goliath: goliath gives me an outlet for the chaotic. being a retired gladiator, there's a certain energy he has that i love to dive into every now and again just to feel esxcited abt what im doing again. he makes me absolutely thrilled to work on art

Angus: he's a big teddy bear! i like playing w him and euan when i want smth soft and sweet. he has a very steady and gentle attitude that balances everything out, i love it

Euan: i like the sainthood feel i gave euan. i dont draw it much, but i very much consider him the madonna of the group; he's a sort of weeping saint type personality. if you asked me what he reminds me off, i'd say cotton drying on the line, royal blue velvet, and red tears

Odelia: oh i always knew i'd have a cult leader oc (elle was originally constructed for this purpose, but as you can see: they're not one). i just didnt realize i'd make her so gruesome and sociopathic, but i think it's a good stretch for me to try to write an "evil" character and not try to justify or redeem them. i tend to do that but i've been enjoying having an oc who just does fucked up shit bc that's what makes sense in her brain and bc she Wants to

[bloodycassian]

Defender - Reader x Cassian - reader is injured and almost caught by the king. Cassian cares for reader after. Short.

Cassian knew he was yelling. Distantly aware of his two brothers trying to hold him back from the battle. Well, not much of a battle. You were surrounded, and injured. And the king was marching through that crowd to get his killing blow.  Cassian snarled and ripped at his brothers, attempting to fight through them. Rhys' clawed mental hand rendered him still, unable to yell or pull at them anymore. They were all panting. Azriel's shadows boomed from him, sliding around the forces and tickiling up your legs. You held your side in pain. "We need the distraction so Amren can finish the spell." Rhys spoke into Cassian's mind. "My mate is not a distraction." Cassian roared back mentally, his jaw setting. His eyes stung watching that banner of the king grow closer and closer. He knew Amren would be too late if your injuries were as bad as he sensed. The tingling from blood loss echoed in his mind, feeling your pain as if he was experiencing it himself. His heart throbbed, aching on your behalf.  Rhys' claws dug deeper as Cassian struggled again. Then Azriel was vanishing, becoming the mist and shadow itself. Rhys sent a spear of his power to the edge of the opposing army, just where Cassian's mate lay.  "Power is deceptive, high lord." The king spoke once he reached the clearing of bodies. Cassian watched his mate struggle away from the king. His white officer's uniform he wore stood out starkly against the bleak muddied colors of the surrounding forces. Pristine, posing as an angel among lesser beings. Cassians' siphons flared, pulsing with power waiting to be released.  Rhys' grip tightened, even as he spoke. "Deceptive? I am offended." Rhys mock gasped. Then smirked like a cat. Azriel's shadows loomed at the white uniform of the man who called himself king. Like a flash of lightning, he reached out. When Cassian blinked, he was holding Azriel by the throat. The stone bracers on the man's wrists glowed with the effort of fighting off the shadowmaster's magic.  Rhys gave nothing away in his expression. As if he was expecting it. "You can kill him, if you'd like." Cassians' mind roared. "If you think that'd get you to win this battle." Rhys dared not take his eyes off the king, of those piercing blue eyes that threatened the peace of all of Prythian.  Cassians enter body ached to be free - to rip into the hand that threatened his brother's life. Rhys' power spiked at the shared thought with Cassian, sending a ripple of darkness out over both the armies. Murmurs rang out through the crowd. "This one isnt the bastard I need to kill. But I can...reuse him if you're looking to get rid of him." The king said casually, loosening his grip.  Cassian couldnt think, couldnt move. Could hardly breathe as he watched his mate and his brother get closer and closer to death. Rhys chuckled softly, "I dont think you could break him even if you had a Fae's immortal life to try it." He looked to his brother, who was clawing at the king's hands just to get a breath in.  Rhys flicked a hand, and a dark of power shuddered through the earth. The king's eyes turned to the back of his army. To the looming light growing and devouring his forces. "Go now." A soft voice growled in Cass' head. He was unleashed. He was at your side in an instant, scooping your limp body up and flying in one move, glancing to his brother to make sure he was alright. Azriel was already gone, dissipated back into mist.  Rhys was winnowing when Amrens white light crashed across the battlefield, destroying a good chunk of the king's army. Yet his white uniform seemed to stand out against the otherworldly light Amren brought. A stain of falseness against pure light. Cassian beat his wings harder, faster. Flying back to the base camp so Rhys could winnow you back to Velaris.  + "Where is Az?" you gasped as you woke. The house of wind's rooms were too open, too bright for your sleepy eyes.  Cassian was there in an instant, he shushed you, his hands pushing your hair from your face. "We're okay, you're okay." He reassured, his voice a bit choked. "Az is downstairs."  "He saved me. Cass I-" You choked on your words. Hot tears pricked at your eyes. He pulled you into his shoulder, giving you a tight hug. You wiped the tears on his shoulder. The pain in your side when you pulled away was like a burn, a warmth that seemed to radiate all over. You lifted your shirt to see a red glow there, a small patch of bandage Cass summoned.  "We ran out of bandages about an hour ago. Madja is coming to check in soon." He explained, taking your hand away from the injury. He kissed your knuckles, sighing. "I'm sorry. I should have-" He broke off mid sentence, shaking his head. You felt a hot tear against your hand.  "Dont- Cass!" You scolded, pulling his head up by the hair. Forcing him to look at you. "Dont apologize. It was nothing you could control. And I'm fine now!" You insisted, giving him a weak smile. He nodded, but you knew he didnt believe you. He rested his head on your hands, taking in your scent.  You stayed like that for a long while, enjoying each other's embrace. The silence of your minds twisting together. Playing, until there was a knock at the door. "Dont be difficult." Cassian called back to you when Madja walked in. Giving you privacy. Madja smiled, her friendly eyes twinkling. "I would ask you how you're doing but it seems your mate had to...remedy some bandages." She began picking through her bag.  Your heart sang for Cassian's small sacrifice of power. You wished you could leave the siphon powered bandage on forever. A piece of him that would never leave. You may have talked to Madja a bit longer than necessary just to enjoy the warmth the patch of red brought you.

[hiiro-writes]

single dad au part 3!!

heya!! hiro here bringing more zhongluc single dad au brain vomit

i apologise in advance for the inconsistent posting about the au but i'm thinking for part 4 would be on father's day! because hehe single dad au

without further ado here's part 3!

《♡♡♡♡♡♡♡》

after a few days of gathering information, bennett consults his friends during lunch

he's...quite stumped. nothing about his notes make sense no matter how much he reads them again

the only conclusion he can come up with is that mr zhongli (he heard his dad and uncle kaeya mentioning him a lot) is the reason why his dad is acting so weirdly

they're just friends?? right??

when bennett arrives at their usual table he goes to chongyun first to tell him what happened before explaining his situation to the rest of his friends

razor and chongyun are deep in thought while xiangling, hutao, and xingqiu are all laughing to themselves

bennett lowkey gets upset by this because hey it's his dad and he cares a lot about him

xiangling explained that they meant no harm by it but they just find the whole thing cute

....cute?

xingqiu continues by saying that his dad developed feelings to this mr zhongli

this only causes bennett to become even more puzzled but hutao rolls her eyes with a smile and explains that his dad may have a crush on mr zhongli

chongyun wonders if that really is the case while razor gave up on thinking and went back to eating his fourth sandwich

bennett tries to connect all the dots and comes to another conclusion: ask uncle kaeya because he certainly knows what's best

right?

they all carry on to the rest of their classes but by the end of the day he's approached by ganyu...in the clinic

bennett tried helping a cat get out of a tree only for it to scratch his hand...again

the school nurse was busy tending to another student and so ganyu volunteered on helping which was perfect since there was something she needed to talk about to him

after patching him up she asks him if they could talk on the way out (with xiao but technically he just followed behind)

she explains to him about their plans to get their dad and his dad together since they obviously are interested in each other

with this bennett finally understands and is incredibly happy to help them out (and his dad of course)

bennett explains that he never had another parent figure

though kaeya, jean, and lisa filled that in of course it wasn't exactly the same

diluc happened to adopt bennett since he was abandoned one day by his original parents

apparently a few days prior his dad crepus died in a car accident and then later found bennett as a baby and decided to adopt him as his own

this brought a smile to ganyu's face (xiao as well but he's walking behind them...coward)

she's glad to know more of the kind of man her father is interested in and since they were on the topic of their parents ganyu decided to talk about her mom as well

her mom guizhong used to be gentle and kind. really witty too as their dad would describe when ever he reminisces about the past. he even comments they got their wit from their mom

unfortunately she was quite sickly and died of an illness years ago. ganyu and xiao were a lot younger back then so they don't remember too many details of what happened

when ganyu felt sad remembering about her mom bennett smiled and said that she sounds like a lovely person and that he would definitely love to meet her

as ganyu was about to reply she recognized childe and...his boyfriend kaeya??

turns out the two of them decided to pick up the kids from school and head to the cafe for their top secret mission of getting zhongli and diluc together

bennett gets all excited and punches the air, ganyu chuckles to herself, while xiao rolls his eyes at this

they all discuss in the car since it was a lot safer that way instead of discussing it in the cafe where so many people can hear them and it's too risky

childe updated them on zhongli's schedule saying that he moved all appointments this saturday to different dates

kaeya asked his friend eula to work part time to cover diluc's shift (he asked if she could just work in the cafe instead but she explained she had other things to do first)

ganyu decided on a restaurant with the help of her girlfriend keqing and it was all set

now all that's left is for bennett to encourage his dad and for xiao to invite his father (along with aether) on a little cafe date

the only problem is...it has to happen today

as much as childe wanted to free up zhongli's schedule for the rest of the week that man was way too busy

ningguang was already taking a few of his responsibilities but it was too much on her plate (she overhead childe on the phone with kaeya talking about the plans and she wanted to help out)

kaeya mentioned he made diluc run some errands so that he could join childe in picking them up today so that he could explain the current situation

thankfully it worked since kaeya mentioned he "rarely gets to pick up bennett from school"

but deep down diluc knows his brother all too well and believes that kaeya just wanted some time with his boyfriend

he's not wrong tho

after going over their plans, they're 5 minutes away from the cafe, xiao is currently calling aether whereas bennett was thinking of ways of encouraging his dad to ask mr zhongli on a date

once they arrive at the cafe there current plan was set in motion

kaeya goes back to his shift, bennett runs to his room to get ready and xiao patiently waits for aether to arrive

ganyu has somewhere to be and it was up to childe to picl zhongli up from a business meeting

it's all running smoothly since diluc arrives with a bag of groceries 10 minutes later and bennett drags him away (and creates a mess but that's fine) and talks to him about mr zhongli

while they talk, aether arrives after being dropped off by his sister lumine and her girlfriend amber

xiao explains that he wants to introduce him to his father to which aether turns red immediately and swores under his breath

xiao tries to question it but aether only explains that he lost a bet with his sister

meanwhile diluc is blushing furiously when bennett mentioned having a crush on zhongli

how??? how do people know is he that obvious???

bennett starts to encourage his dad saying to grab this once and a lifetime opportunity!

diluc is hesitant about it but his son comments that sometimes he looks a bit lonely looking at all the other couples

before diluc was able to ask a question bennett fell off the chair he was sitting on,,,

zhongli arrives and sees xiao and aether together

after simple introductions zhongli orders for all of them and greets kaeya

kaeya mentions that diluc is just at the back fixing the groceries to which zhongli just smiles at him

behind the counter, diluc is taking deep breathes to shake the feeling of nervousness

but first of all why is he so nervous??

for many reasons you idiot!!

one, he doesn't have any relationship experience

two, he has never asked nor has been on a date before

three, he's afraid of ruining his little friendship with zhongli

he tries to remind himself of the things bennett told him which calms him down a lot

he prepares the orders of zhongli and noticed that his son xiao keeps...staring?

is he watching him or something??

because when diluc prepared he tray xiao mentions something to his father before standing up and walking away with aether, leaving their things behind

this only made diluc more confused but that's besides the point right now

when he places the orders on the table zhongli offers if he would like to join him

he explains that since his companions are busy buying something elsewhere, zhongli doesn't have any company and insists that diluc should join him if he wasn't busy

diluc takes a seat in front of zhongli and at first it was quite awkward since nothing was happening between them

until zhongli mentioned the type of coffee beans diluc used to make his coffee and the conversation went well from there

they talked about coffee, work, their kids (and shared a few photos) and some other random things

diluc discovered they had a lot of common interests and that hey, zhongli is a really nice guy

they were talking for a while they didn't realise xiao and aether coming back, nor how late it was

before going their separate ways diluc asks zhongli if he was free and if maybe they would like to have dinner together

"to get to know each other more of course!" diluc frantically says before turning as red as a tomato

zhongli chuckles at this and mentioned that he's free on saturday

this...shocks diluc because wow

holy shit

HE HAS A DATE??

the only thing he could do is nod and zhongli seemed to acknowledge it and tells him they can decide on a place later on since they exchanged numbers

what they didnt know is that xiao was listening carefully on their conversation and smiled to himself

EDIT:

link to part 1 | part 2 | part 4 | part 5

[gh0stwriting]

Hsc with michael, jason, thomas n brahms reacting to their s/o getting dizzy/lightheaded and passing out from exhaustion???

(i’ve already written almost this exact thing with michael and jason but with heat exhaustion so i hope its alright that i skip those two as i cant see how id change enough to be noticeably different)

THOMAS HEWITT

(i just realized how much more it features Luda Mae than Thomas whoops)

you’ve been unreasonably exhausted for a while now, but just wrote it off as the texas heat catching up to you or something that makes more sense. that is until you’re standing in the kitchen of the Hewitt house with your mug of tea and it suddenly slips out of your fingers and smashes on the floor, your delayed reaction only worsening the damage as you manage to dig the porcelain further into your feet.

you yelp in pain as it finally registers to you that youre standing in scalding hot tea and the remains of your favorite mug, the sudden noise of pain drawing Thomas out of wherever he was in the house, directly to you. when he sees the blood and shattered remains of the cup he quickly runs off to find Luda Mae so she can patch you up while he tidies up to avoid the lecture from Hoyt.

by the time they come back, which is realistically only a few minutes, youre gripping the counter for dear life as your legs start throbbing and your head starts spinning. Luda Mae sits you on the counter to bandage your wounds while Thomas disposes of the porcelain and rushes to your side, making sure you didnt sustain any more injuries.

“darlin’ you really ought to be more careful, cant have you dyin on us now” Luda Mae tells you, causing you to roll your eyes and push her away, your attitude coming out of nowhere and shocking her. you hop off the counter and open your mouth to sass Luda Mae but before you can you faint, almost hitting the ground before Thomas catches you and with a worried whine carries you to your shared room, lying you down so you can hopefully rest up.

when you wake up hours later, the suns starting to set and it looks like Thomas hasnt moved, still sitting on the end of the bed and watching you to make sure youre alright. when he sees youre awake he rushes to your side and holds your hands, babbling incoherently in happiness. now you just have to apologize to everyone for being rude, but its fine.

BRAHMS HEELSHIRE

(im tired and brahms initially came out beans and i cant stop laughing about it)

dating a manchild is tiring to say the least. he always wanting to do something with you and half of the time wont take no for an answer. so needless to say, youre incredibly sleep deprived and your only source of energy comes from caffeine.

on this particular day Brahms was even more relentless than normal, no wasnt an option, if he wanted to dance around the living room with you hed pout until you gave in and thats just how it was gonna work. the only problem is that youre living off of less than an hour of sleep and enough coffee to kill the hulk, but the energy boost was quickly fading.

he was effectively pulling you around like a marionette at this point, your energy plummeting so fast its almost impossible to adjust. you manage to shuffle towards the couch and sit down for a second but as soon as you pulled away he was watching you sadly repeatedly asking you whats wrong, but youre too out of it to reply.

he pulls you to your feet again only for you to go limp in his arms, dropping to the wood floor with a thud when he lets go in confusion, the confusion quickly being replaced by worry when he noticed you werent moving.

he lifts you onto the couch, sitting next to you and laying you down so your heads in his lap. he pets your hair and waits patiently for you to wake up, apologizing profusely once you do.

[flowerslightning]

The Act of Recognizing and Missing Someone - Cloud Strife with Tifa edition

Ever wondered how on earth Cloud could quickly tell the girl inside the chocobo car was Tifa? Well, I do. This is just a gibberish and a little bit educational talk.. But here's what I found. Quite interesting (and hella confusing) for me

 It’s kinda hard to explain, I don’t really understand this topic, unlike this part here where I explained about Cloud’s messed up memories. But I still want to share this with u guys.

Disclaimer : I'm still a student (or am I? This quarantine sucks) Psychiatric/Psychology/Neurobiology arent my major field. The interpretations I’ve made here probably have some errors here and there. Pls correct me if I’m wrong or misleading u

The biggest question is, how comes we can recognize someone's face? How well our brain able to detect someone's facial features, body postures and even voices to the point we can recall their name? This is a hard topic,so im just gonna focus on the visual part.

We all have been asking this to ourselves, how on earth Cloud was able to recognize the girl in the chocobo car was Tifa by just looking behind her back. It seems impossible, does it? Nothing is impossible for fictional world, ahahah.. But it actually makes sense in real life

And here's the answer based on what I've read and understood.

Our brain can be divided into six sections, and each section has their own functions and neurons. Based on studies, the sections inside the brain has something that we can call as ‘Face Patches’. It contains a numerous amount of specific neurons that help us to code ‘faces’ and recall memory/facts in our brain. So, when we look at someone, this patches work their cell and recall a name/fact. Some people can recognize a face fast while others need time to identify a face. Everyone has different ability for face recognising

In the region of our brain, one of them associated with ‘declarative memory’, it consists of facts and events that can be consciously recalled. Declarative memory can be further divided into two group - Episodic Memory and Semantic Memory. Focus on Episodic Memory, just like how the name suggest, its a ‘repeating’ of something, either event, places, associated emotions and even the faces. Cloud had lots of ‘episodic memory’ with Tifa, from when he was a kid till he became an adult.

Face recognition feels effortless compare to body posture. But actually both are challenging computational problem, especially the body posture part- eg the way someone walk, the way they jump etc. However, studies show that when u have a ‘connection’ with that person, just by looking behind the person’s back or look at the way they walk, the neurons inside your brain can work really fast to detect who that person is. It also involves with the hormones u have at that moment. The deeper connection u have with them, the faster ur brain work. So, u dont really have that A-HAA moment when u meet someone u’re connected with. The connection- or specifically the emotions we have has a particularly strong influence on attention, especially in motivating someone’s action and behavior. When u were shopping with ur mom and suddenly u got lost, u couldnt remember what color of ur mom’s dress but ur somewhat ‘instinct’ (kinda similar like how a cub loses its mom. They will hurry to find them) told ur eyes to go look for her sight. When ur brain memory detect someone ‘familiar’ like ur mom and u went to approach her, the neurons of ‘Face Patches’ would do its job to recognize the face and tell either that woman was ur mom or not.

So, based on this comprehension. I have 3 theories or understanding on how Cloud could immediately tell that girl was Tifa . 

First, bcause we all knew he and Tifa were childhood friends. So, his brain was already familiar with Tifa’s body posture. Besides knowing that Cloud had a crush on her since young, pretty sure that boy always had his eyes on her (and until now, he still has it). So Cloud really got attached with Tifa in many ways. However, the prob is, didnt they got separated for at least 5 years, and Tifa’s body has changed, how could Cloud implied the memory of younger Tifa to this older Tifa? Okaaay, lets see if my second theory can support this statement

My second theory, Cloud was so used to watch Tifa’s back, wasnt he? Since he was a kid, he wanted to approach Tifa and the gang but he couldnt. So I assumed he always stay behind, watching Tifa’s back while the other kids were playing around. Plus, he also followed Tifa to the mountain and he watched her back. There was a scene where Cloud mistaken a kid at the Sector 5 slum to Tifa kid. And in the Crisis Core, he stayed behind the team and there he watched Tifa’s back in 15y/o version again. So, his memory about Tifa body posture was intact in his mind. Girls’ body got mature early and fast. I dont think there was much difference between 15y/o and 20y/o Tifa’s back posture and her hair. Her hair did get longer but u cant really tell how long the hair was through the chocobo car window. 

Combining the memories Cloud had about Tifa’s body posture + he was deeply connected with her, this allowed Cloud to recognize Tifa immediately without needing the A-HA I REMEMBER U moment. The neurons inside his brain already have specific details about Tifa (cough.. lifestream. Damn u Cloud. ur brain is just filled with TIFA TIFA TIFA) + and also thanks to certain hormones that played a role here, Cloud could effortlessly recall her name upon meeting her figure.

The last theory would be bcause he missed and wanted to see Tifa till he saw other black haired girl as her. His brain had been repeatedly played the images of Tifa and certain hormones encouraged him to believe that girl was Tifa. I dont really understand the psychology of missing someone, but what I can conclude is, when u miss someone and u cant see them, the emotional pain u feel may harm ur physical a bit, depends on how well u deal with them. Some people will do crazy stuff to satisfy their need to avoid the ‘physical harm’, although certain acts will actually give them real physical injury. So, when Cloud running to the chocobo car without really need a confirmation that girl was Tifa might be bcause his brain tried to avoid the emotional pain that could give his physical distress. Imagine if the girl in the chocobo car wasnt Tifa, Cloud would be super duper upset. But well, Cloud missed Tifa was just a theory of mine. 

Mistaken some strangers is a normal response in our daily life. It could be bcause of certain hormones inside our body were playing tricks with our neurons brain and we mistaken somebody as someone we wanted to see (am I using the correct words here? RIP english vocabs and grammars) Have u ever been in a situation where u miss someone, that person always linger inside ur head to the point that strangers kinda look like them? Or maybe u’re too scared of someone that everyone around u looked like them? Or maybe u just have lost ur little sister that tied her hair in ponytail and u often mistaken little girl with the same hairstyle as her? All of these not only related with the neurons in ur brain, but also memories and hormones took place here too. U ‘missed’ that person and u were hoping to see them very soon

Overall, I would say, Cloud’s neurons, memories, hormones and his desire to meet up with Tifa again, he could quickly tell the girl inside the chocobo car was really Tifa and ran to her without hesitation. He didnt need that “Hey, that girl looks familiar. Have I meet her somewhere.. A-HA, I KNOW THAT WOMAN! SHE’S TIFA, my childhood friend” moment. He had deep emotions with Tifa and had a strong desire to meet her soon. Thus, his brain already arranged the specific neurons that contained Tifa’s information. By the time Cloud saw her sight, in just a few seconds, he could recall the name in his brain.

Cloud need the ‘A-HA, I remember u’ moment when he met with Aerith. He didnt recognized Aerith’s face at all, not until Aerith mentioned about the flowers. Cloud remembered the flower (probably bcause he gave the flower to Tifa? Cloud had deep emotions with her) but not Aerith’s face. Again, I say, this is a normal act bcause Cloud didnt have any emotion with her to remember on that moment, but later on, Cloud (AC) cherished the yellow flower.

That’s it. Thank you for being with me till the end. 

[xoxonawalwrites]

My stomach growled at me. I wish i had some money in my pocket. It is ironic to me for even say pocket when mine barely even meets the characteristics of one. it was just a bare string of thread holding the ripped holes together.  Nevertheless, I  still rummaged threw it like a thief rummaging for valuables. Nothing.

I smelt a mouth-watering aroma. My body reacted to this by secreting saliva .The poor thing! It really thinks i was about to eat food.All i  could do was swish  the saliva around  in my mouth hydrating the dry patches on my tongue . I guess it was extremely malnourished so any chance it could smell food of any kind it was preparing  for me to get it and eat it. The big question is should I?

I whizzed through the kitchen’s door as i heard large shoes clunking behind me at a fast pace.

‘‘You think you can do a scarper again!’’ Bellowed the obese shop owner.

God had heard my prayers. The oversized shop owner had become worn out.  As i  heard him taking large deep breaths not far away.His face looked like a freshly picked tomato with all of the redness concentrated  on the apples of his cheeks.

‘‘ i’ll catch you next time you little imp from hell !’‘ he said with a hoarse voice as he was still taking in deep breaths. I was suprised he hadnt died or had his first heart attack with all that layers of of skin taking a toll on his body.

A  smile of joy popped up on my face running from ear to ear.I jumped up and down with glee. My fiery red hair bobbed up and down like children playing bobbing apples bobbing their heads in and out of the water. I held the juicy roast beef in my hand with the succulent juice running between my bony stick fingers. I stopped and took a huge sigh of relief while intenesly sucking the mouth watering juice out of the meat like a vampire sucking the blood out of its prey.

I said to myself i get to live just one another day. While feasting on my stolen meat.

‘‘ Corsen Corsen!’‘

i did a full turn. Twisting my stick like neck looking around for the person who called me. Unfortunately, for my suprise the sound echoed from an eerie alleyway. I knew what this meant.

You see everyone has their own secrets. Secrets hidden deep down in their soul which they dont utter to a single living being.I have done acts which are horrible.Not even my so called ‘parents’ know about it.I have  dark unspeakable secrets.Forbidden secrets that i have done to merely get by. 

Yes, i know what is running through your mind. I mean i had to find money for food somehow. i wasnt proud of it but i still did it anyways. luckily, i came to my senses and knew that i had dreams i wanted to persue and didnt want to land up in jail before i was eighteen.

As soon as i saw him literal smoke steamed out of my ears,my face turned crimson red. i didnt even think. i used my puny weak fist and puched right in the nose. His nose was already crooked and stuck out like a proud peacock but i think i went too far. Okay i know i went to far. i broke his nose.

Blood gushed out of his nose like a flowing tap. The blood clotted around his nose. I know,I know your probably thinking why i did such an act. Well, i did mention that i did unspeakable acts but this case was different.

I was a mere child with childish girly thoughts. Back then my father wasnt a drunkard and my mother hadnt died. i was ten. He was fifteen. He grabbed the ribbon of my pink frock and grabbed me closer and close to his lips. I thought he was giving me a hug.  He grabbed the zip of my dress, untied it. He removed his trousers and.... well i think you are mature enough to know what happened.

I will never forget the day he forced himself upon me. I was scarred for life. Every time i meet him i have the urge to get a knife, slit his wrists,tongue and finally stab him right in the heart.

So. he really thinks after all those years i was going to run into his arms. Kiss him passionately and give him a hug. Ha! Jokes on him.

‘‘You cant try and freeze me and run away’‘ He said while wiping the dried up clotted blood with his filthy long sleeved shirt.

Though he was literally skin and bone he was in fact quite strong for someone who barely eats and drinks beer day in day out.

Before i could even say Merlins wand he grabbed my skinny wrist and forced my to look him in the eyes. A girl could easily get lost in those emerald green eyes but my eyes immediately started watering due to the alcoholic smell reeking out of his mouth and the fact that he smelt like he hadnt bathed in centuries.

‘‘ I dont know why but there is something about you that attracts me to you’‘ ‘‘ i always feel the urge to capture you and make you mine’‘.

He gave me a look.  A look that made me heart stop beating and made my body freeze while peeing in myself as i was petrified.

‘‘Let me go you pedophile’‘ i said while kicking him in the shins grabbing my wrist using my free left hand trying to grab his hand to let go of my right hand.

I felt a drip of sweat trickling down my back. He threw me to the wall, he leaned his body closer to mine, and his face was hovering in front of mine.

I used my left hand and shot sharp icicles into his chest giving me enough time to flee.

‘‘ I’ll catch you Corsen, I’ll catch you and i promise when i do i’ll never let you go you’ll be mine forever’‘ While wheezing blood and trying to take a deep breath.

I just hope i had’nt made a big mistake.

I didnt care if my underwear could be seen while i was running down the street at this point i just wish mens obsession with me could just stop.

You see i am a freak. I can do freakish things and i look like i freak.My eyes are far away from my nose. My lips are waaaayyy below my nose thus making me a target for kids to bully . I have been in and out of foster homes since i was 10. Back then my father was drunk 24/7 and my mom didnt have stage 2 breast cancer. 

It has’nt been easy since my mothers passing. My dad still  doesnt want to acknowledge the fact that she is gone and isn’t coming back. He then decided to take everything out on me. He used to whip me  till my voice when hoarse and i ended up passing out and couldnt tell if i was dreaming or dead.

Teachers at school noticed my whip marks and bruises even though i tried covering it up with oversized hoodies and sweatpants. They immediately called child protective services thus my relationship with foster families began. All my foster fathers ended up being creepos and used to watch me get changed and worst of all took advantage of the fact that i was a skinny,weak,puny kid and couldnt do anything to defend myself.

Dammit! The landlords sent another sweet little eviction letter. I quickly skimmed through it to see how much time i had until i was kicked out of this mangy apartment. Seven days! There was no way i was going to be able to get 700 dollars by the end of this week. I guess i had to just say goodbye to this mangy little apartment. Ugh! I actually was tearing up this was my first apartment after i got emancipated.

I just decided to  just throw on an oversized t-shirt and shorts and call it a night. Just when i opened the door of my room an eerie sound schoed from down the hallway. 

‘‘Hello Hello is Corsen here?’‘

Dammit! It’s the frickin landlord coming to evict me but  the letter said till next week. I was utterly confused. I hopped out of my bed,slipped on my mucky bunny slippers from salvation army and decided to take my wooden hairbrush with me just in case it was a murderer or kidnapper or somethin’. Hey! I wasnt about to get kidnapped and my kidneys sold online okay?

‘‘Is anyone here?’‘ ‘‘Come out and i won’t hurt you’‘ i said with a shaky voice. I was literally peeing in my underwear.

I heard heavy breathing and large footsteps. I suddenly remebered that there was nothing to fear as i have taken a few karate classes here and there.

AAAH! ‘’What in lords name,what are you doing here?’’

He looked like an angel sent from heaven. He smelt of pine cones and fresh earth after a springs rain.

‘‘ Ah so you must be Corsen,nice to meet you’‘ he said while having a enormous smile running ear to ear.

‘‘ Umm.... this is an invasion of private property, you know i can sue right?’‘

He chuckled so hard that his hair bobbled up and down. His silver hair was a kind of silver that is out of this world. Literally it was shiny sleek and smooth it looked out of this universe. He wore a green tunic with a brown belt and a green shoes on. Like hello the 1900s is calling and they want there clothes back.

‘‘ Well its a shocker i havent seen you since you were a baby and you still have the wild red mane of hair that you used to have, well time flies i guess’‘. he murmured under his breath with a little smirk on his face.

‘‘Ummm.. number one how do you know me and number two its kinda creepy that you saw me when i was a baby when i literally have no idea who you are’‘.

‘‘ i think you should lead me to the living room we have many things to discuss’‘ he hurriedly sat down making himslef comortable on the mouldy sofa set.

Hey! I wasnt made out of money and if my apartment had a fridge, televison and a sofa i was a happy camper.

‘‘So why are you here?’‘

‘‘Oh yes i was sent by Albus Dumbledore to tell you that you have got into Hogwarts’‘ he said with an serious look on his face.

I burst out into tears of laughter.Like does he really think i was stupid.Out of all the lies he could have told me, Hogwarts,like really.I guess he was just another social care worker trying to find ways to get me to come back.But i am not that that daft okay.

‘‘Whats so funny?’‘ while giving me  stern look.

‘‘Ummm.... you know Hogwarts doesnt exist right?’‘ ‘‘It was just a story J.K Rowling wrote for entertainment and imagination.

‘‘You know the whole magical realm has been in contact with the human realm for centuries now’‘. ‘‘The story of J.K Rowling or whatever her name was was half-truths’‘. ‘‘This Harry Potter bot your talking about was all just made up’‘.’‘But the sorting hat,Albus Dumbledore,Severus Snape and some othes are real’‘.

[nightmaretyrantvantas]

The Journey for Mew Part 2: The Distressed Aftermath and the Lost Start of the Adventure

Alright guys the story continues in part 2 as morning rises on our bois after the previous hellish night!

What will happen to the good bois....time to find out!

Im also trying something a little different so I hope it works out right

Buckle back up this is gonna be another long one

Patton jolted at the sound of slightly frantic knocking at the front door, snapping him out of dozing off and his head falling into the carrots he was cutting. He set the knife down and rubbed his tired baby blue eyes, adjusting his glasses and trying to put on a happy face as he shuffled through the house to the front door and undid the locks. He pulled open the door with a smile plastered on his face, hoping he didnt look as exhausted as he felt.

“ Oh, Emile! Remy! This is a surprise I didnt know you guys were back in town, you never called! Cmon come on in im just getting lunch done and prepping dinner.” He led the two taller gym leader males into the house and to the open kitchen and dining room, gesturing for them to sit down and make themselves at home. 

Remy glanced around and then out the big open windows, where he could see Roman and Remus outside rebuilding parts of the fence, fixing up broken and demolished sheds and pokemon habitats, and adding burnt trash to a slowly growing disposal pile seperating them. Even in the distance he could faintly make out the bandage patches and nasty bruises covering Remus whenever he turned towards them. Then he looked back towards Patton who was cheerfully catching up with his fiance Emile as he finished making lunch. One of Patton’s pokemon, a gentle natured Gardevior that helped run the nursery, came into the room from the back with a basket of berries, smiling and greeting them softly. 

“ Well heya Viola! Hows motherhood been treating you?” Emile chuckled with his question, watching the small line of hatched Ralts waddling after the older pokemon, each holding their own berry. Viola smiled and shooed them to the nursery while setting the basket down. 

“ Oh Viola’s been having a fun time raising the ralts, they all adore her and follow her around whenever they can, I always know she’s nearby if I see a ralts.” Patton chuckled as he finished the burgers and salad and set some down for the guests and set some aside for Roman and Remus and himself before sitting down with them at Viola’s insistence. Taking a closer look at him the other two shared a concerned glance.

Patton, to be frank in Remy’s opinion, looked like shit. His round glasses were smudged more than usual and one side of them looked like it had been hastily repaired as they now sat lopsided on his freckled face. His skin was pinkish as if recovering from a sunburn and his eyes were tinged around the corners, bags of exhaustion forming under them. Once he sat down the shorter trainer slumped a little into his chair, giving them a smile and sipping some lemonade as he asked how their lives were. Remy leaned back, crossing his arms.

“ Its been uneventful at the gym, something it seems I cant say for here. Time to cut the stalling babe, what the fuck happened here?” Patton winced and Emile elbowed his fiance.

“ Rem. You gotta be gentle when asking some things...” He sighed and looked at Patton with concern.

“ But Pat...what did happen? Half the fencing is destroyed on either side of the house, alot of parts of the property around it and in front of it look trashed and scorched....Is everything ok? Wheres Thomas and the others?” There was a sigh and Viola sensed her trainer’s distress, coming over and placing a calming hand on his shoulder. He smiled and looked at his lemonade, pulling off his glasses and rubbing his eyes without answering.

What had happened?

Where were the others?

These were things that echoed in his mind, getting lost in thought as he looked outside. 

Things were still a bit blurry towards the end of last night. Patton remembered the fire, feeling the heat dangerously close to his skin, burning him lightly as he struggled to douse the flames and keep grunts away from the pokemon.

He remembered them retreating and seeing Remus chasing them off more with a piece of the fence, angry pokemon following him to help him. 

He remembered hearing Logan scream, and running towards him.

He remembered being sick with horror seeing Virgil’s unmoving body in his arms and running, calling his name. And watching Logan collaspe into Darkrai’s waiting arms.

Take them inside, they will need treatment Patton human. Do not fret, I will keep any more threats away for the night. You will be safe.

He remembered helping Thomas and Roman carry the two inside and Remus stumbling in after, panicked because he couldnt find Janus anywhere.

Janus was gone. His older brother was missing.

He almost choked on a sob right there at the table thinking about it, about the fact Virgil lay unconscious upstairs, still not waking up. 

About the fact Logan was just as unmoving in his own room across from him.

He took a shakier breath and refocused on the two now very worried friends across from him, and dropped his smile.

“ It happened last night....” 

Janus wasnt sure where he was at first when he awoke, all he knew was he was warmer than before and not in bed. He looked around in a sleepy panic at the nature around him, noticing he was laying in a burrow covered in thick moss as a makeshift blanket and Mew still asleep in his arms. Seeing Mew brought back the memories of the night, and the fact a usually standoffish Dusknoir had pulled him to a bit of safety before teleporting him away before he could make a sound, and he had the foggier memory of wandering closer to the mountain pass opening after landing before the exhaustion blurred his memory too much. He did NOT remember making a bed in a burrow, and he carefully crawled out with a yawn. As he did the greenery around him shuddered and rustled and instinctively he held Mew tighter, his guard snapping him into full alertness.

“ Saandslash!” “ Krok? Krokorok!” 

And all at once he relaxed as two of his own pokemon stumbled out, both holding armfuls of edible herbs, wild growing vegetables, and fruits and berries. Both brightened upon seeing their trainer awake and hurried over smiling up at him happily. Janus let out a relieved laugh and sat cross-legged, placing Mew gently in his lap to rub their heads affectionately. 

“ Did you guys tuck us into a safe place to sleep? You even got food already...ha...You’re both great guys...” He ran a hand through his hair and watched Ethos his sandslash and Pathos his krokorok work together to tug a another clump of thick moss over to him and set the food down, plopping down beside him to eat breakfast. But he couldnt eat at first, looking up at the mountain beside him that seemed to stretch up past the clouds. What was he even doing here? Why did they send him here? What had happened to the Sanctuary, to his little brother, to his friends? 

Questions and worries whirled through his head at everything unknown to him. He was a good maybe...three of four days journey on foot from his home, partially lost in the wilderness with no supplies except for the pocket knife Remus gave him for his birthday and a compass he wore as a necklace, and his pokemon and an injuried legendary pokemon, and absolutely no idea what he was supposed to do. 

His mind flashed to thoughts of Virgil, of him throwing Mew to him and running into battle...of his body folding to the ground...to Remus, who was likely frantic and confused at his sudden absence. Who would get himself into reckless danger to try to find him...Janus squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head to try pushing the images away. Dwelling on that too much right now wouldnt help him. With a sigh he looked down at the bundle and nudged it open more, watching Mew’s breathing with worry. 

“ Krok...” His eyes flickered up to see Pathos standing by his knee, holding out a rawst berry to him. He smiled and took it, patting his head. 

“ Good thinking Pathos....this should help them alot.” He watched the ground pokemon perk up happily and moved carefully to pull out his knife, trying not to jostle the poor smaller pokemon too much. Janus began cutting the berry into little bite sized pieces and set the knife aside to scoop Mew up closer and press a piece of berry to its mouth.

“ Cmon buddy...this will help you feel better...I promise...” Mew stirred and weakly pried open its eyes, keening at him softly and leaning its head away. He sighed and gently offered it again.

“ I promise Mew its ok...Its a berry...itll help...” It still refused and looked at him, making him smile in return.

“ Here, We’ll prove it.” He took a few pieces and popped them into his mouth, eating the contently and trying to ignore the ore bitter taste. He mightve not hidden the taste as well as he hoped, but he saw Mew smile and giggle faintly which made it worth it. After him both Ethos and Pathos took some pieces and ate some as well, giving Mew reassuring chirrs and nods. After watching them all Janus offered another piece, and one by one Mew ate the rest, though its tongue stuck out at the taste. He chuckled and then cut up an oran berry and repeated the process, and then with some more berries until Mew seemed full and nuzzled back into Virgil’s jacket for warmth. 

“ Good job buddy, now get plenty of rest...you deserve it.” He leaned down and lightly pressed his forehead to Mew’s, a sign of trust and respect he had learned in his time traveling and working at the Sanctuary. He felt Mew relax and smiled, moving its head up to touch noses. 

And suddenly his head was filled with blurry images. 

The mountain

A path off the main summit path. A cavern opening in the side of the mountain hidden by a weeping willow.

Tunnels in the cavern, crystals lighting the way.

Pokemon in the mountain.

Another path within the mountain, crystals densing and filling more and more of the walls

The heart of the moutain, and a cavern of light reflecting crystals

A pool of glowing water in the center

A blurry image of hands placing Mew within the water, and mew popping out of the water fully healed.

A destination, and a goal.

And just as suddenly as the images came they disappeared and he lifted his head slightly dazed to see Mew fall back asleep, breathing still weak but a little stronger than before. Once he regained his bearings he looked back up at the mountain before him, brows furrowing in determination. Janus may not have everything he was shown fully deciphered but now he had a place to start. And a goal to set his eyes on. With that he cradled Mew in his arms and got to his feet. Ethos walked up beside him and stood at his side, looking up at him with curious eyes. Pathos did the same on his other side, and he smiled down at the both before shifting Mew in his grip a little and looking up the path, mind racing to connect pieces.

“ Alright guys...lets make ourselves a makeshift bag and gather as much food as we can. We got a long journey ahead of us.” 

He just hoped he could make it before his friends did anything stupid to try and find him...

“ Patton this is a really serious problem. Shouldn’t you file a missing person report by now?” Patton sighed and poked at his food, food Viola persistently encouraged him to eat until he caved.  He looked up at his friends and their understandably horrified expressions, both their eyes wide. Though Remy’s expression was quickly turning into anger, eyes narrowing dangerously. 

“ I know...I know this is serious. Thomas is in town right now with Joan at the pokemon center....watching over the pokemon we couldnt heal here and reporting the attack to the police...and I want to file for a missing person...I really do...but with everything that happened what if Janus went to get Mew to safety? What if making his disappearance known puts him directly in Team Rocket’s sights and they go hunting for him? Theres just...there’s just too many what ifs and unknowns that we dont want to risk it...I know thats stupid but...” He sighed again and looked out the window.

“ Its also one of the only things keeping Remus from running off to search for Jay blindly. Hes...hes in a bad place right now, we all are, but he’s taking everything especially hard. He tried to run out last night and start searching the woods on his own...It took me, Roman, and Thomas everything we had to keep him in the house...I stayed up with him the rest of the night trying to reassure him jay would be back soon...and that helping out here would be what he’d want from us anyway...” Emile touched his hand tenderly.

“ He’s going to snap and go off on his own if he doesnt show up sooner or later Patton...you know this.” Pattons eyes flickered to Remy and he nodded, looking more exhausted and miserable than before. He was tired, drained, and sick with worries. But he and Thomas were the only things keeping everyone together, keeping them calmish and keeping them on track to getting everything put back together....Patton couldnt let himself break right now, not when he was responsible for keeping everyone else from breaking apart, not when Thomas needed his help and needed someone to lean on. He was one of the older ones here, he needed to be the strength they all needed. 

“ I know...but that isnt going to stop me from trying to help him not, and give him whatever support Remus may need to make it through this rough patch.” His voice was tired, but firm and set. He sat up straighter and put his glasses back on with a stern, stubborn expression.

“ Its what my big brother would want from me...what Logan and Virgil and Thomas and Remus and Roman all NEED from me. So for now...we’ll file the report of the attack and repair and rebuild. We’ll help Virgil as much as we can, and we’ll keep this house welcoming for when Janus comes back.” Not if, when. 

He couldnt accept any other alternative.

Maybe an hour later the two left promising to drop by tomorrow to help them rebuild more, as they wanted to go check on Thomas as well. Once the door shut Patton slumped heavily against it and stared at the ceiling before looking towards the backdoor, listening to the sounds of the boys working tirelessly amongst the sounds of pokemon chatter and grunts. His shoulders dropped and he didnt notice himself sliding down the door into a sitting position, nor did he notice his eyes tearing up as they drooped closed.

He didnt have time to sleep right now.

He had to help them with repairs...

...He just wanted his brother back and his friends to wake up....

.....Patton just wanted their normalcy back.....

Janus just wanted their normalcy back as he started up the mountain path grimly, looking back once towards his home before continuing resolvely. Because he couldn’t return until this was done.

End of part 2

Aaaaaaaand here it is! Part 2 is done!! 

Wow this came out longer than I thought it would but I’m really happy with it none the less! I hope you guys like it so far! Part 3 to come soon!

Deceits on an journey and the others are trying to pick up the pieces, whatll happen next I wonder....( I promise it starts to get less angsty from here)

Taglist

@phantommoonpeople

@sweetsweetemo

@leesacrakon

@amazable01

@starbucks-remy

@jemthebookworm

@max-is-tired

@seriously-a-dragon

@sar-kasstic

@sugarglider9603

[authorofdanger]

Miroh 2

Genre: Angst

Skz zombie apocalypse AU

It's very sad and violent in some parts, sorry.

"Balance! Balance is key Shuyang," Jeongin sighed while coming behind the boy and helping him plant his feet. Shuyang looked at him in slight confusion before one of the other young boys translated in chinese. Jeongin was given the difficult task of teaching these boys no older than fifteen and no younger than twelve how to shoot a bow and arrow. Smiling to myself I was beyond proud of Jeongin for not only strengthening his shooting skills but for being able to teach as well.

"Hyung have you not noticed how clumsy he is? I'm surprised we didnt put him in farming with Yeji," Hanyu chuckled as he shot and nearly hit the bullseye. "Stop being mean," Zihao groaned in english. Pulling myself to my feet I took over Jeongin's place behind Shuyang and placed my hands over his. "Slow your breathing," I said in his home language, "it's okay to miss. You are learning so breathe. Now balance and focus on your breathing."

"You know chinese," Jeongin gasped. "And english," I said while looking over at Zihao, "dad moved us around alot since he was a company translator. Does it really shock you? I lived in Taiyuan for five years, Texas for six, and Busan for eight years now. Korean is relatively my newest language."

"Hey I'm from Taiyuan," Xinlong said excitedly. Giving him a wide smile I turned my attention back to Shuyang and whispered for him to release the arrow, watching as his arrow finally landed on the rim of the target. "There you go," I encouraged, "now keep practicing."

As time went on, and corrections decreased, I had decided to leave the boys for a moment to survey the base. It wasn't as broken down as the infected towns but it surely needed repairs. The houses were run down and in a few years probably dilapidated but for now it was livable and somewhat warm. The shops we kept around were always busy with people making food, clothes, weapons, and more. Children were running around the property with no parents to corral them inside, only a few of us teenagers and early adults taking over the parental life.

"Y/N I thought you were with Jeongin," Seungmin asked while running up to me from the pig barn. He was wiping the dirt from his hands with a rag in his pocket and tried to clear his face but with little result. "I thought you were supposed to control the pigs. Looks like it was the other way around." Giving me an off smile he lowered his face and groaned, "younger sow has been testing Jisung and I's patience. It's too hyper to be cooped up in the barn but too lazy to burn energy when in the field and it's hard to catch it when I need it. Somehow it managed to learn to open it's own pen so I had to get Changbin to help me rebuild the door to move the latch."

His small smile made my heart swell, I rarely saw him smile during our time together so it's refreshing to see happiness in the same boys I worried about months ago. "I'm obviously not a builder," he added after holding out his cut up hands, "gonna have to borrow some of Hyunjin's bandages." "Need help?"

****

"I missed the way you patched us up. Its alot more comfortable than Hyung's tight and rigid tactic." Finishing up the last wrap I gave his hand a soft squeeze before putting the medical supplies back to its spots. "Had to learn somehow with Namjoon always managing to injure himself. I still cant figure out how he would do it but he always had new injuries each week! Mom was always finding small jobs to do so she was gone alot while dad was always at the companies he was doing work for. He tried to patch himself up but would always hurt himself more," I laughed, "I wonder if he found someone to replace my handiwork."

The room was silent for a moment but my smile never faltered. "I'm sure he's fine," I added, "I'm sure he is running around with Jungkook or Seokjin. They had a big group of friends apparently. I didnt get to see them often since he was scared I would fall for Jungkook but I think he was overreacting. Big brother stuff you know?" "I understand completely. My older sister was the same way with her friends. But she was more worried because I was a bit of a wild child in her eyes. She thought I would corrupt her friends." The room filled with laughter as we thought back to our pasts. Thinking about it now I never would have believed someone like Seungmin would be my friend. In high school I was always shy and a bit of a book nerd but wasn't afraid to stand up for myself. I guess that's how I meshed well with Jeongin when I moved to Korea, attending high school with him. Apparently Hyunjin went there too but I never really got to know him and didnt even know of his existence!

As we sat here I realized just how lucky I am to have met my boys. They helped me learn to grow a backbone and how important it was to not judge a book by his cover. "Well I better get back to the pins. I heard that Chan is going to take some of the men and younger males for hunting practice. You going," Seungmin sighed as he got up. "No I'm going to stay here and let my shoulder rest some more." "Right. But hey, thanks for patching me up."

**** Three years ago****

A loud crash erupted from the living room followed by an "Oh shit!" Glancing over at Jin who came and helped me make dinner tonight I wiped my hands on the apron he gave to me and followed the sound to see my brother trying to pick up the pieces of the now broken vase.

"Why does mom demand we keep glass items in this house," he growled before he cut open his hand yet again. "No Joon get the broom," I laughed. I quickly pulled him up to his feet and examined his hand to see a few thin lines here and there but nothing a few bandages couldnt cover. "You're a god of destruction," I giggled to myself before letting go of him and moving to get the broom,"dont move Joon! You'll break something else with your luck!"

"How is it that he is the older brother but you are the one who takes care of him," Seokjin laughed. "I swear the birth year on my birth and adoption certificates are wrong. I have to be older than him." "What will he do without you in a few years?" "I'll be fine!"

****

I always wondered where he went. Did he make it out of our town alive? Did he find the boys? I might never get answers.

A few hours later and I was huddled in my room by the fireplace, waiting for the boys to get back. Chan and Jeongin were out teaching the younger boys to hunt which was freaky in it's own sense but it was also scary that it was starting to get dark. "Y/N," Shuyang called while rushing in. "I thought you were hunting! What's wrong," I asked. Going over to him and rubbing his heaving back I could barely hear him huffed out "need translator. Felix cant understand. A man is here!"

****

"救命啊," I heard a young man scream as I raced up the staircase. "I dont speak chinese! Do you speak anything else? What group are you from," Felix yelled. "Hyung yelling isnt going to help. It's like when we did that when you were learning korean," Seungmin sighed. "Shut up! I dont see you helping! And where the hell is Shuyang?" Shoving the door open I walked in front of Shuyang and took a look at the situation. Seungmin was sitting in the back corner with his hands in his face, Felix was standing firm but with panic laced on his, and the boy who must have been the man screaming in chinese moments ago was pacing the room.

"My name is Y/N. I speak chinese well. Are you okay," I asked while slowly approaching the frantic man. " His eyes grew wide and he let out a "oh my god! I can speak a little korean but the words arent coming to me right now! My base has been invaded and we need help! I'm from Amber's section!" "Amber? Amber Liu," Felix asked after finally catching on. "They're invaded."

****

We filled the trucks with as many members as we could as we raced to the compound. In my truck we had Felix, Changbin, Minho, Jisung, Lucas, and I. The ride was quiet aside from the engine roaring as Minho raced us through the winding roads. "Please let there be survivors," Lucas whispered to himself, "let my friends be okay." Placing my hand ontop of his I tried to comfort him in any way I could but with little results. "How did this happen," Felix asked which I ended up having to translate. In the best korean he could manage in the moment he said "people were coming back from hunting and one was bitten while he was out. He didnt tell anyone and turned. It spread from there. Oh God Winwin!" Tears rolled down his face and he pulled his sleeves to his eyes to try to stop them.

"Its okay to cry," I hushed, "we are going to help the best we can I promise." Jisung eyed me as I comforted the stranger, knowing my heart was breaking for him. Placing his hand on his back, I could tell Jisung was trying to help too. We both knew what it was like to lose someone to this situation. When we first found eachother he had his older brother with him who got bit saving Jisung. I on the other hand had to shoot my mother when she turned and soon after my father. It's a pain that many in this world are forced to go through but it never gets easier. We all hope for a day this will end but at this point we know the odds are out of our favor.

"We're here," Minho interrupted before we all rushed out of the trucks and others pulled in. With a team of an estimated thirty we raced into the compound and began to shoot every Walker in sight. I stuck close to Lucas and Felix as we tried to find and gather survivors but only managed to find a small group hiding in a closed off room in the leadership tower. "Ten! Amber," Lucas cried as he rushed into the room. Doing a headcount I was able to see five survivors and then Lucas, my heart dropping at the alarming number. "We couldnt stop them," Amber shook, "I just had to find survivors and barricade ourselves until help arrived."

"We're here," Felix comforted, "now come on. We need to get you guys to a vehicle while we search for more." "I'll keep looking. I have great aim and can protect myself," I suggested. Nodding his head, Felix ushered everyone out while I raced around the entire compound. The bodies laying on the floor added to my fear and I prayed for atleast one more survivor. "Please! Anyone!" On the ground was a young male with a Walker ontop of him, snapping at his face. Pulling my arrow back I was able to nail him right in the back of his head and ran to help the young man.

He had to be close to Jeongin's age but definitely a giant in comparison. His eyes were soft but full of fear but I had to push my own aside to try to soothe him in this moment. "Are you infected," I asked. Shaking his head I immediately pulled him to his feet and handed him a gun from my bag and continued through the compound. After nearly an hour though and no other survivors in sight I knew it was time to leave.

"But Chenle! I cant leave him!" "Someone else might have found him. We have to go," I ordered before pulling him by his arm to the trucks that were already packed and preparing to leave. "Is that all of our team," Felix yelled through the crowd. "We are all clear sir," another called out. Helping the boy into the bed of the truck I crawled in to sit by him and the new members of our base, listening to the cries of pain as they went through their list of friends who were either infected or killed.

"Johnny," one asked. "Got bit. I watched someone shoot him soon after. Same for Mark." "Chenle?" "Infected." My heart went out to this group. These were their friends, their family, and they had to watch some of them die today. "I'm sorry I didnt get help soon enough," Lucas apologized. Amber placed her hand on his face and made him look at her, "you saved us Lucas. You cant save everyone but you saved someone! You did great." "Its not your fault," another girl added, "this wasn't something we could have stopped. Its life now."

Life sucks.

[masosade]

A Second Chance

“I would’ve dropped  you off at Neil’s, but he’s been trying my patience lately. So why bother? I am sure someone will come pick you up eventually.” Alice smiled coldly as she watched formerly half-of Maso take his first shaky steps out of the grimdark Office. The body she had salvaged from another unfortunate Stellan - one whose soul had been reincarnated after his young demise – had been patched up and handed down.

"And remember! If you ever come back to cuase trouble in the grimdark Office again, your death will be an exceptionally long and painful one!" Alice chirped, her fingernails digging into Stellan's shoulder painfully. He jerked back, wincing, and averted his eyes.  

“Perfect! I am glad we understand each other. Now, off you go, shoo!”

Stellan turned down the hallway. It was unfamiliar, looked like every other Office they’ve been to. With a sinking heart, he remembered he wouldn’t have Bradley here to guide him. He wished he would’ve paid more attention to their previous travels.

However, the things out there were most likely much better than what he was leaving behind. He felt Alice’s gaze linger a few seconds longer as he limped away, before she vanished back in her Office.

And then Stellan was alone.

His new body ached and stung from the stitches Jagger had put in after it had been rescued from a grave. Its eyes felt weak and its feet clumsily stumbled over each other. Either they had given him a second rate body to sit in, or he had to get used to having a body on his own for the first time in years.

It was ironic, actually. Stellan had dreamed of owning a very own body for himself on many occaisons, one where he could do what he want and go wherever, with no one else there to tell him what to do. Now he just felt cold and empty. He wished Bradley were here to fill the silence. When he reached out for that presence at the forefront of his mind, he felt nothing but hollow numbness, like tonguing a missing tooth.

Finally free and Stellan was fucking miserable.

He made his way down the hallways, taking random turns in whatever direction felt like it could lead him somewhere better. The Lounge sat empty, its seats covered in thick dust and the vending machine leaking with unidentifiable fluids. Not an abnormal sight to see, if rare, but some Offices shut down after their Stanleys and Narrators leave, or are killed, or kidnapped, or fall in love and move to another one, abandoning their original Offices.

It felt like the Universe took great joy in mocking Stellan, reminding him of how utterly alone he was. For the first time in years, he wanted to find a bottle that smelled as strongly as the juices drenching the Lounge’s carpets and drink it until he forgot everything but the burning in his throat. He had curbed his alcoholism nearly a decade prior, dreaming without it he could hold a good job, pull himself out of the mess his life had become and afford starting again in a better community.

Ever since he took the first step for change, accepting an office job promising to uphold a decent lifestyle, things haven’t stopped spiraling downwards.

‘Maybe I should’ve stayed a drunkard,’ Stellan thought bitterly as he focused on placing a foot in front of the other. Both the pain and the fogginess in his mind made it difficult to walk straight.

‘Ending up with liver poison and a friendly face per night would’ve been a much better fate. Hell, I could’ve met someone nice and spent an average life with them. But noo, I had to become a better person and start dreaming. And look where that got me.’

So wrapped up in his self loathing, Stellan didn’t notice another Stanley standing in the middle of the hallway until he nearly ran straight into him. In a flash, his thoughts had vanished and he couldn’t help stare.

The other Stanley...looked normal enough. He had the typical brown hair parted in the middle and messy with a morning look, warm brown eyes, and freckles scattered playfully on his nose. His employee outfit clean and nicely ironed; the nametag which read 'Hi! My name is Stanley!' looked new.

He looked normal but he didnt feel normal. This Office was abandoned, no doubt, so where had he come from? If he were a new Stanley, surely he would be frightened with the change of scenery and lack of directions.

Yet he simply stood there and smiled at Stellan, like they had agreed to meet up and Stanley was happy he came.

"Uhh?" Stellan tried and his vocal cords cringed at the unaccustomed strain. He coughed awkwardly and tried again, this time managing a hoarse mutter.

“H-hey, can you help me? I think I’m lost.”

"Of course I can help!" The Stanley said, his voice surprisingly gentle. He offered his hand for Stellan to take. "Come with me, I can take you somewhere safe!"

His eyes gleamed brightly in the dim hallway and for a moment Stellan wondered if he had stumbled upon another illusion of a Jonathan. Maybe it had been abandoned after the Narrator left and was never taken care of. But when Stellan hesitantly took his hand, it was warm and human to the touch. Not even Jonathan could imagine an illusion that felt so real.

The other Stanley beamed with joy and Stellan glanced away.

The Office looked even worse than Stellan had expected. Beyond the Lounge, as they headed back towards room 427, he noticed some rooms had their ceilings caved in, others with windows shattered. The left door was blocked completely with some filing cabinets but his mysterious guide didn't bat an eye at the havoc.

They turned into another hallway past room 420, and headed deeper. Stellan gave up trying to make sense of where they are going so he focused on the warm hand clutching his. It felt so foreign to be holding it and comforting at the same time.

“You’ve got a long journey behind you, don’t you?” The other Stanley said, sometime after they passed through another portal finally, into another Office. It smelled warm like a heated kitchen and no matter how hard Stellan looked, he couldnt find even one piece of stray paper on the ground.

“You dont know the half of it,” Stellan muttered. He tried to focus on walking, grateful for the hand clutching his. Without it he would’ve surely tripped over his own feet.

“I think I might,” Stanley said, smiling. Stellan shot him a questioning look, but he didn’t offer to elaborate.

“...did someone send you to get me?”

“This way.”

It’s been barely an hour, they couldn’t have known the exact moment I was released, could they?

Whoever they were. Countless of people around the Offices stuck their nosy noses in other people’s business. Stellan could name ten on the top of his head who may have had even the abandoned Offices bugged, grimdarks and the laboratories of one certain evil Narrator included.

Maybe it was desperation talking, or his inability to care about what pain could be further induced on him at this point, emotional or physical. But the other Stanley didnt feel evil. Even if he was mysterious, came out of nowhere and now held a tight grip to his hand as they wandered further into the hallway’s mazes.

If he wanted to hurt Stellan, he could have done it by now.

Unless he is taking you back to the laboratories, a tiny voice quipped.

I’m useless now. Bradley has the body, not me.

You’re not useless. Their whole experiments were centered around pain, werent they? Maybe they’re trying to see how far they can break you.

… then let them. I don’t give a shit anymore, and if they want to fuse me with more Bradleys. I’m tired. I don’t care.

Stanley stopped suddenly in front of a door. He turned back to Stellan and, while he never stopped smiling, it brightened when he looked at him.

“In here.” Stanley said.

“What…?” Stellan glanced at the door. “What’s in there?”

“Oh, didnt I already say? It’s a second chance for both of you.”

Both? Stellan stared in bewilderment and got a knowing smile as an answer.

Wait...

“...Bradley….Bradley is in there too?” How did he get past Alice and her security and her monsters to get him out? She was very clear in what she wanted to do with his other half and how she would maim anyone who tried to free Bradley of his ‘punishment’. Even if the ‘good guys’ wanted to save Bradley, it wouldnt make any sense. Stellan’s own alternate, one of those self proclaimed Office Heroes, even he took part in their capture.

“Life is more than hurting and getting hurt.” The other Stanley continued, infuriatingly vague. “We all have done things we regret, but it doesnt mean we need to suffer for the rest of our lives for it.”

He reached out and cupped his hands around Stellan’s face, and Stel startled at how warm they were. Ever snce Maso – no. Ever since the Office, the hands touching him had been cruel, painful. Cold fingers of scientists prodding, Jagger and his scalpels, agony created by Alice and his very own hands. And yet Stanley’s were so gentle, soft and merciful. Stellan leaned into the touch unconsciously.

His chest stung with an unwanted tightness.

“You’re going to be okay.” The Stanley said. “You and him. I promise.”

Stel was tempted to bite back with sarcasm, but it felt ungrateful to spoil his optimism with bitterness. Instead he hung his head, ashamed.

“We dont deserve a second chance,” he muttered. The hands withdrew from his face and even in the surprisingly warm Office air, Stel felt colder. He waited, but no reply came and when he looked  up again, the hallway was empty.

The other Stanley had vanished.

Stellan sighed and turned back to the door. It looked so simple a few minutes ago and now it seemed more daunting, at the thought of seeing him again. Bradley might blame him for leaving him alone, but Stellan was more afraid he wouldn’t hesitate a second if Bradley offered him a chance to come back.

Anything was better than suffering alone. At least Bradley understood him.

Stellan gathered up his nerves and reached out for the door handle. It stuck, forcing him to rattle it a few times before he managed to get it open. His heart beat hard in his throat.

Now or never, he thought. The door swung open and Stellan stepped inside.

A single desk lamp struggled to light the room, though its glow couldn't reach past the cramped corner in which the cot sat. On the cot, wrapped in a few dozens blankets crouched a figure. Stellan couldn't make out its features so he hesitantly tried a,

"Bradley?"

The figure shuddered. As Stellan took another careful step inside, letting the door swing shut behind him, it shifted and a tired, tear stricken face peered out from underneath the sheets.

Stellan froze and he could feel his heart sink to his stomach.

That wasn’t his Bradley.

[lollytea]

can you tell us more about the snufmin kids, if thats okay?

Oh of course, of course!! i love those children so much dude!!!

[Original OC post]

Beginnings

-Torben’s origins are kinda a downer but basically his mom was a witch on the outskirts of a little village (real far away from moominvalley) who was killed after a lot of fearmongering. they raided her cottage afterwards and found baby torben and assumed him to be a child she stole.

- They couldnt find the “real mother” and he ended up in the care of a childrens’ home. He actually bounced around a few of them until he ended up in the home where he met with his future siblings. according to those working there, he had a rather unnerving stare and a lot of them felt there was something not quite right about him. (the rumor going around was it was something the witch had “done to him” and that “the poor child might never be the same”)  he was a lot more sullen as a baby who didnt have much of an interest in toys and had a hard time connecting with the other children. He brightened up considerably when he found Birch and Essi

- Birch was an oddity from the start. (Species headcanon from here) Its natural for woodies grow in groups, usually from trees and bushes, so theyre biologically social creatures who are hardly ever seen alone. But Birch may have been a spectacle of his species, as he was formed in a moss patch and born all on his own. 

- Another thing that was considered strange about him was his lack of imprinting. Woodies tend to latch on to the first “safe” person they meet, who then forcibly becomes their “parent”. (Woodies are produced asexually and have no “real parents” so finding a person of protection is often done as a survival tactic. It’s recommended that one stay away from woodies if one is not ready for children.) Baby Birch was discovered by a farmer and surprisingly did not take to him right away, like any woodie does. Actually he was rather standoffish and even bit if the old man touched him. He was sent to the home not long after. 

- Space was tight and there werent a lot of cribs/beds to go around, so Birch didn’t have one to himself. Instead they just squeezed him into 2 year old torben’s crib for the two children to share. Here they became inseparable, with Birch, maybe not imprinting but forming a close bond with somebody and finally finding a source of comfort. He bit a little less after this. Likewise with Torben, who gained a caring gleam in his eye once he had a little one to care for. Even when Torben was old enough for a proper bed, he insisted Birch sleep with him and would not budge on the matter. The home gave in and allowed it. 

- Essi’s origin was a simple one, of just being born at the wrong time. In a house packed with mumrik children, one more simply could not be accommodated. I dont want to say her birth parents were terrible people but with the amount of kids they had, they were rather jaded to a fresh baby face and werent too emotional in deciding they need to be rid of her. 

- She was never an angry or intentionally misbehaved baby when under the care of the home. She just needed a lot of stimulation that she wasnt getting and tended to tear up her clothes, curtains and bedsheets. It was also concerning that she never cried, or babbled or made any sound at all. It had falsely interpreted as some fort of defect child. They didnt know if it was right to mix her with the other babies, seeing as with the damage her claws had already done, they felt she could be dangerous. She was left on her own a lot.

- The other two met Essi when they were caught stealing food from the kitchen and locked away on their own to think about how sorry they were. But being tight on space, the only isolated room was the one where Essi was kept. They had heard about her being “the baby who didnt cry” and were very intrigued. but upon further inspection of the wriggling little girl in the cot, Torben observed that she looked lonely. They wondered if she simply wasnt capable of crying, which would be awful if one wanted to express their sadness. After entertaining her throughout their isolation period, the two decided that she was now their baby. And they would be her siblings. They would all belong to each other. As a family.

Miscellaneous HCs:

-Torben sleeps like he’s fucking comatose. There is no waking him. Even when living with Moomintroll and Snufkin, he and Birch still share a bed and Torben kicks and Birch (a light sleeper) hates it. But no matter how much arguments and late night brawls this causes, they still refuse to get separate beds. 

- Essi has a crib in Moomintroll’s room and sleeps there until she’s like 4. (She always magically ends up from her crib to her papa’s stomach by morning.) They tried to get her a “big girl room” when she was bigger but she didnt adapt very well as she couldnt sleep when she was alone. They had to move her into her siblings’ room. She slept soundly after that. 

- Moomintroll and Snufkin often tell the kids stories from their youth, sometimes using anonymous names to work as “fictional stories” lest they frighten them (or for the sake of their own dignity). Essi is very disturbed by the story of the the hobgoblin’s hat, while Birch can only scoff and wonder aloud what sort of idiot was that moomin who went and put the thing on his head. Moomintroll stares dead ahead and refuses to meet eyes with a highly amused Snufkin.

- Early on in his training, Alicia gifts Torben with his own witch hat. With much excitement, he immediately plops the thing on only for his whole head to disappear under it. Alicia laughs, informing him only a fully trained witch can wear it properly and the hat will adjust accordingly once he’s ready. (The hat freaks Moomin the fuck out. He does not care for magical hats anymore.)

- Essi has a little stuffed yellow bird that Mymble got her, which she carries around (often in her mouth) everywhere. She named him Comet, based on the story of when her papas first met.

- Speaking of Mymble (the younger), she loves doing Essi’s hair, although it took her a while to get accustomed to the little mumrik’s big mop of curls and couldnt understand why brushing it was so hard at first. She’s familiar with it now and often weaves in little flowers and ribbons. 

- Birch is very close with Snorkmaiden who thinks his flowering skin is very pretty and encourages his writing and curiosity. (Being a huge fan of the written word herself, mostly fairytales.) 

- Moominpapa is also supportive of his eloquent grandchild (Splendid! Another writer in the family, eh?)  but he’s a little more pushy and it takes a bit of chiding from moominmama to get him to stop saying “have you considered writing about Me??”

- Torben loves Snork. Snork.....hates Torben really. Well, its not that they hate him, its just that Snork has spent their entire life on this flying machine project and torben+flying broomstick= a mockery of it all. Not to mention Torben is annoying as fuck and spends way too much time pestering Snork about god knows what.

- Essi and Little My hunt bugs together. Lov the cronch

- Birch is afraid of thunderstorms. The whole family usually piles into his bed on thundery nights to make him feel safe. 

- Once Torben is at an adequate stage of witching training, he’s allowed a familiar. Of all creatures, he chooses Essi, the closest thing to a black cat he has. She happily obliges and spends most of her late childhood, mid teens operating under this duty.

- Snufkin has composed a tune for each of his children that he plays when alone and thinking about them, or by their bedside and playing them to sleep. Torben’s tune is called ‘Bonfire in the Rain’ Birch’s is ‘Baring Shards of One’s Looking Glass’ and Essi’s is ‘She Who Stirs the Stars’

- To help with Birch’s collecting hobby, Torben enchants a little velveteen pouch an gifts it to him. It never overflows and Birch can fit the whole forest in there if he wishes. It’s very handy to carry around when Birch is vagabond. Extremely light luggage.

- Torben also gifts Essi with a locket encapsulated with the essence of a star. Just enough heat and light to illuminate her way and keep her warm at night. It’s her prized possession. 

- Birch is ace and a he/him nonbinary. He’s not entirely sure if he’s aro as he feels pretty picky about close friends too. but romance has never appealed to him much. 

- Essi is bi. She’s only briefly been involved with like 3 people before meeting the love of her life, Sislaf. 

- Torben is as fluid as can be. He doesnt really have a way to describe his sexuality, he just knows that he loves and loves and loves a lot. He’s a bit like Mymble in the sense that he dates a lot and is always very naive and devoted right away, only to get himself hurt later. He’s quite sensitive about all that.

Futures

- Once the kids are grown, they do end up going their separate ways in life but remain close and visit eachother frequently. They keep in contact by letters. Birch is eternally pissed about his messy handwriting compared to Essi’s beautiful scrawl and Torben’s neat yet flashy one.

- Torben becomes the Moominvalley Witch, now that Alicia’s family have moved on to other places. He builds himself a small cottage on the outskirts so he can have time alone to think and brew. He’s still a walking distance from his parents home though. Flying distance if he’s feeling lazy.  

- Birch’s travels become longer and in time and through word of mouth, the tale he tells become quite well known. He’s a famous storyteller now, whether he wants to be or not. Luckily, he’s begrudgingly embraced it (better than Snufkin did with his fame) and spends a lot of time in taverns, entertaining the regulars.

- Essi was the one who found it the hardest to grow up. Shes a family oriented person so she didnt want to be alone but she also dreamed of adventure and couldnt just drag her whole family along with her (especially her papas who were at the point where they just wanted to rest and settle down) But she found her calling. Criminal. Leader of a pack of criminals actually. Some were old friends from moominvalley, some she met along the way but Essi was lucky enough to find herself a group that became like a family to her. They traveled land and sea, doing all the righteous work and righting the injustices that Snufkin used to do. Only this time, its not just one little man. Its one little woman and her gang. 

- The siblings meet up a lot, usually around a campfire where they share a pipe and laugh about nostalgia. Torben’s particularly good at animating the smoke into moving images, while Birch tells a story to accompany it  and Essi claps along. And even when shes grown and tough, during moments like this Essi still feels the comforting warmth of being a baby sister

[mieczyhale]

because tumblr is the way that it is i have no idea what you have/nt seen?? so i guess here’s just all the recent TUA-related shit ;snklfd @hellomyguru

it sure would be nice of them to notify people about notifications wouldn’t it??

my tags on this post:: #y e s #okay like i love the lil klaus they gave us #for sure#but klaus has curls?? and bby didnt really?? and like it makes sense bc considering reginald's.. everything.. he would have done whatever he#could to tame them / keep them under control yknow?? he doesnt like different and he doesnt like things that arent prim and proper#which is what he'd consider curls to NOT be#esp. with how wild those curls woulda been like#and i mean i know adult klaus's hair was more mess & not really curly but towards the end of the season you could def see his hair rebelling#so #anyway #here's wonderwall 

my tags on this post::   #klaus and dave#even if you play it with dave being 30 too instead of 40 this is still fucking funny#i can imagine this interaction perfectly and it kills me sfhkdjccj

a post on my change in how i tag my original TUA posts

a question you asked that i answered

a post on klaus, reginald, and medicine

a shitpost about dave

my reply to a reply on my broken jaw post

my reply to your reply on my broken jaw post

my tags on this post:: #does klaus know what he threw out tho?? like he barely glanced at the stuff he pulled out of the box before throwing it away#he clearly thought that whatever it was wasnt important - i mean he also wouldnt have cared bc gotta get them drugs baby but still#and at what point would he have told five that he threw out some of their dads shit?? like.. at which interaction would that have made sense#the dumpster?? not really. five immediately declares he doesn't care what klaus is doing and then klaus is distracted by the opportunity to#get some money in an easier way than normal and then he bit into a dumpster bagel and five was leaving. he left.#OH and now that im thinking more about it - klaus refers to the stuff from the box as 'priceless crap' / 'priceless shit' so there's a#chance he A. really didnt pay attention to what he was throwing away - which makes sense considering his desperation#or B. he forgot. drugs arent known for being great for your memory and then a lot of shit went down really fast so..#the lab?? also wouldnt have made sense for a few reasons but mostly bc at no point did they talk about anything other than fake eyes and#relationships. during the family meeting that five appears in the middle of?? maybe. but five had a very narrow focus and the others#talked a lot and over each other and the whole time klaus is off to the side sick - very clearly having a hard time focusing and staying#upright and again - a lot has fucking happened - so there's no way he would've even considered the papers from 10 months ago as being#relevant. IF he remembered them at all.#oh and then he didnt even really acknowledge the apocalypse thing until episode 6 and he spent all of episode 4 being tortured#and he came back and spent episode 5 just trying to adjust to being back - having just lost dave and left a warzone - and he just.. has his#grief to deal with so nothing else is even on his radar#what im saying is#there's a lot going on and there never would've been a time to bring it up even if he did know/remember what he threw away#in my big dumb pan opinion#i know this post isnt that serious but i read it and had to word vomit#anyway #sgkskccj #carry on y'all

my tags on this post::   #oh shit fuck!!! this!!!!!! im always here for emotions and powers being tied - ESPECIALLY when people dont know it#including the person who has the powers like... everyone being oblivious fucks#which is kind of why i agree with and support klaus's powers being tied to his emotions. 1. people just out here being completely oblivious#and ignorant towards klaus and everything related to him and 2. klaus being just as oblivious like.. between over half a lifetime of#substance abuse and addiction?? that happened in the first place bc klaus was terrified of and hated his powers?? there is so much that he#can do. i personally believe he's incredibly powerful and the longer he stays sober the more everybody is gonna see that#and none of them will expect it. tbh also?? i firmly believe - despite his alien status and knowing things - that not even reginald#had any fucking idea. bc i mean he clearly had no real idea of how klaus's powers worked. his training decisions proved that. his#experiments proved that. is there anything in canon to support any of this hc - you ask - why yes. yes there is. in my opinion of course. i#know not everyone sees things the same way. but 1. klaus returning from vietnam. he beat up the suitcase p well but while it sparks?thats it#and throwing it isnt - on its own - going to make it explode. thats just not believable. its a time traveling briefcase. that shits STURDY#and if im remembering right - it didnt explode right away. it didnt happen until klaus screamed and i dont think thats a coincidence#he does have telekinesis after all. and 2. making ben corporeal in the last episode. that did not seem like a conscious decision. he ran#into that room. got shot sat. ducked. and then suddenly he has glowing hands and bentacles was seen by all. it all happened in a matter of#seconds and it would've freaked anyone out but with his powers klaus wanted ben there - he wanted ben to help - even if he didnt know it#himself. in one second he had elevated emotions - elevated anxiety and possibly fear and he wanted to do something just.. ANYTHING. he#wanted to not die and he wanted his siblings to not die and he wanted to help but he alone couldnt and ben is his closest#brother - sorry not sorry - and then also sorry not sorry but ptsd?? from vietnam and guns?? yeah. so everything just.. fell together and#it triggered his powers. and i can see that happening a lot. he's having a hard day and he can see dave and talk to him but he#cant be held by him and it just makes everything worse and suddenly dave is THERE there and klaus doesnt know how he did it but w.e#he's just so happy he did. and he accidentally conjures patch while he and diego are talking about her and diego thinks klaus did it on#purpose. to hurt him? idk. but he's pissed and klaus is just confused - not really registering the heartache he had been feeling for diego#when she suddenly appeared. im leaving this with 2 examples only bc imma run outta tags otherwise fkdmdnd BUT give me klaus levitating for#the first time when he's sitting cross legged on the floor of the living room or standing idk but he's content and sleepy ans suddenly#there's confused voices and shouting and he opens his eyes to find he's in the same position but now he's five feet off the ground and#WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK yknow?? oooh and more on his telekinesis?? unintentionally launching shit at people when he gets pissed. luther takes a#little gardening shovl to the face. the others keep treating him like shit - like he hasnt changed - and he snaps during a meeting and a#vase JUST misses somebody's head or smth?? it would be great. and dont even get me started on the Not Fucking Dying aspect bc thats a whole#other rodeo. but even that.. i think its emotionally tied and how long he stays dead depends on how he felt when he died. he can control it#from the other side yknow?? anyway i def need to do an actual post on this i think later bc im outta tags lmao

[blandmemoirs]

"How have you been?"

To put it simply, exhausted

I've been having trouble sleeping lately. I can't fall asleep and stay asleep, instead I sleep for few hour intervals before darting awake in the middle of the night or early morning. Usually three times each night. This has been a pattern for a few weeks now. I've had a mixed bag of dreams that will be worthy posts elsewhere. Some really good, others really bad. And I think that's how my life has been as of late. I do fun things and have a great day and then I get home and feel myself will with dread or longing. I don't have much to long for, but I just feel alone in my day to day. Even though there's not an hour that passes when someone hasnt demanded my attention, I still feel as if I'm drifting through this time in my life by myself. I feel like I'm stuck in my own head, talking to people has been harder as of late. Opening up and telling people how I feel has felt draining or tiresome. I feel like I'm worthless and some voice in me is echoing for a sweet release. It says "please let me die". Of course, I won't be doing that. Ive got too much to live for. Ive got people to help and care for. Ive got a legacy to build and jobs to do. My life cant end here, and wont end here. But something inside me just don't feel right and I dont know what to do about it. I think its just because my life has hit a point of stagnation at the moment. All my friends are busy and doing things with them is becoming more of an every now and then kind of thing instead of everyday. I feel like I'm waiting and waiting and waiting but the results won't be arriving anytime soon. I know what I want to do with my life and what I want to be and what I want to make, but I figured it out too early and everyone is going to keep me waiting until they figure it out themselves. I'm patient, but I'm oh so exhausted of feeling so alone.

The world threw a curveball my way the other weekend. I had my first major death in the family and my first car accident. In that order. I dont think they are related but my focus was definitely strained when I was on the road. The death was our beloved housecat, Midnight. She was black, rather small, and super soft. She was feisty at times and loved to run around the house and lay on warm things. Her meow would melt your heart. She, like all our pets, was a rescue. We got her after she was found to be clinging for life to my Father's old truck. He believed she might have followed him all the way from work. She was super tiny then. Our second cat in the house, after Stinky Pete. The third was my orange baby, Jackle. Before we got her fixed she would have her period and be extra moody, usually meowing into the late hours of the night. She waa my dad's cat first and foremost. Always in his lap. Always bugging him. Its natural seeing how he rescued her. Her favorite place to go was the garage, where it was cool or warm and felt the most like being outside. Of all our cats, midnight wanted to leave the house the most. She would always be near windows, especially when they were open. It makes sense considering the earliest parts of her life were spent that way. She was also always affected by fleas the worst. There was a time she lost patches of hair from the bugs. She was most grateful when we eventually adopted flea collars for the kitties. The last year or so she developed a nasty growth on her belly, and it would often pop and bleed. My parents, never having the money for a veterinarian, would just let her pick at it and hope it would go away. It never did. Then last week I recieved a text from my mother saying that they had her put down. I don't know the specifics, its not something I want to ask. What I know is that she had cancer that developed into a heart mur mur. My mom was with her when it happened. My dad said he couldn't be there. He wanted to, but just couldn't. That's incredibly tragic, conaidering she was his cat, but I understand that mix of emotions that kept him away. Shes buried by the garage, her favorite place. My mom said it was one of the hardest things shes had to do in her adult life. I dont think any of us were ready to see Mini go like that. My dad is going to make a tombstone and put a pot of roses by it. That little ball of fur will be dearly missed when I return home. I'm left wondering how the other animals in the house feel, if they even understand that their sister is gone. My dad told me today that Domino, our boxer dog, and Stinky Pete, the old man fat cat of the house most likely know. Stinky has always been oddly empathetic for an animal, his eyes sometimes seem human in how he expresses himself. As such they are all comforting my dad. He says he doesnt spend a minute without them bugging him, and normally he hates that, but hes letting them grieve and doing so himself. My Jackle cat is not the brightest thing, hes just supporting Stinky Pete my dad says. I would expect that. Those two are very close to each other. I've really missed my cat and want to bring him with me to my next place, but I dont think I should seperate him and Stinky at this point. It wouldn't be fair. All in all, Midnight "Mini" Bland was a sweetheart of a kitty and gave us no bad luck despite her fur's reputation. She will be missed and forever loved. She is family, even if it took until now for my parents to admit that. Rest easy.

The car accident was a product of wet roads, traffic, and poor luck. Some dude cut us off and we both slammed on our brakes but I rear-ended the dude in front of me from hydro-planing. It wasnt soft, but it wasn't hard enough to do any real damage to our cars. We both pulled over and traded the important info, took pictures, all the formalities. There was barely noticeable cosmetic damage to his car, and maybe a bump and scratch on my end but I'm not sure if those were already there or not. I bought my car used with a few bumps and scratches. Its personality. Dude was polite and patient. Said he will keep insurance out if I just foot the bill for his paint scratches, assuming he doesnt find more damage later. It being the night in a poorly lit city like Austin, it makes sense he didnt promise me anything until hes seen the sunlight. Said he'd text me in a week or two depending on his schedule. I hope he remains as respectful a guy when I hear from him. I really don't want to work the extra hours to pay for a heightened insurance over something as weak as that. But that's all for the future.

Writing, or I suppose typing, has been very therapeutic for me. I think I've gotten all the thinga bugging me out of my head for now. Time will tell. I'm going to start a storytime series on this blog soon, recounting different life stories that have impacted me or changed the way I am. Y'know, actual memoirs. Hahaha. Thanks to the few who read. You are the most important friends I have and I love you all.

[kpurereactions]

Im Yours | Part 9

A/N: First off, I'm sorry this took so long to update I have a plan and I just needed a filler, so thats basically what this is, even though its kind of important to the story. Second off I just wanted to give a public thank you to my two good friends @i-thinkiloveyoutoomuch and @park-thatasshere. They've really helped me make this story come to life and they put up with me when I need to brain storms ideas, Thank you P&R, I love you two. 

Pairing: Jaebum x Reader Rating: Drama, Angst, Smut, Fluff WARNINGS: Language, Eventual Violence, Lots of Smut Later on

Pt 1 Pt 2 Pt 3 Pt 4 Pt 5 Pt 6 Pt 7 Pt 8 Pt 9 FINALE

'Mr. Lee, please it won't happen again, please don't do this.' You said from a deep bow, mainly so he wouldn't see the tears that were running down your cheeks.

He was never home anyways so why it mattered that you were now in his sons apartment you didnt understand. You didn't mean to fall for his son. For Seungri.

It had almost been a week, or so you were told by Daesung that you had been at the Kwon residence. The men treated you nicely, always making sure you were fed and watered and that your wounds were properly tended to. Infection was the last thing they wanted you to experience. You had been bed ridden. Trying to stand was took too much effort and by the time you had even shifted enough from the bed you were to tired to go on. But it was getting better. The bruises that you could seen had started to fade into a sickly green and the swelling on your face was all but gone. Still, as comfortable as the boys had made you feel, you were still uncomfortable being there. Every night you spent dreaming of one of two things; Jaebum, or the concrete building.

You woke up one morning to a dark room, your body aching from being still for so long. Through the pain erupting in your side you tried to sit up. You gasped loud and moved your hand to your stomach, the door to the room you were in opening quickly and the lights flicked on to reveal a worried face Seungri. He didnt say anything, just made his way to the bed, sat next to you and helped you sit up. His hand hooked around your waist for you to brace yourself against his shoulder. His hand started to pull up the bottom of your shirt. You sat up more, wincing with the sharp pain and turning as best you could to look at him.

"What the hell are you doing?" You coughed as he replaced his hands on you to help support you.

"I was just going to change the gauze." He started reaching over to pull the new pack off the table. "Plus its not like I haven't seen whats under your shirt." He added quietly making you cough again.

You accepted the water he reached for and nodded your head in thanks, things growing more and more awkward. He helped you lay back down and rolled your shirt up, his fingertips grazing the bruised skin of your stomach.

'Its been two weeks since they took you and you still look like an old punching bag." He said. You watched as the muscles in his jaw clenched.

"Im fine." You said past the pain of his fingers pressing across the bruising on your stomach.

"You're not fine, have you seen yourself?"

"I don't want to."

He sighed and pushed your shirt up more till he got to the patch that hugged the center of your stomach. His fingers softly pulled the tape away and you watched as his face fell into grimace. You didnt want to let him know how bad it hurt, but you couldn't help but take ahold of his hand and squeeze as he started to disinfect the stitches.

"Ah, wait wait wait." You gasped as he started to apply ointment to the stitches. "Can.. Can I shower please I think it will make me feel better." You said. Anything to get the pain he was inflicting to stop just a little longer.

"Oh, sure. You probably haven't showered in a while huh." He said, kicking himself but happy it got you to chuckle lightly.

With great effort from Seungri and then Daesung when he walked by to hear you groaning in pain, you were able to stand on shaky legs and be led to the bathroom. Seungri sat you on the side of the bathtub and started to help you undress. You were both blushing, though being intimate was something you two weren't strangers to, you now having Jaebum made things extra weird.

But if you meant as much to Jaebum as you thought you did, why wasn't he the one to rescue you. Why wasn't he the one here helping you undress and cleaning your wounds. Your hands pushed Seungri's hands aside angrily, not caring about the face he gave you as you stood yourself up, wrapping the towel he had placed over you around your sore body.

'Get out, I have it from here.' You bit.

'What if you fa-'

'Get out Seungri.'

He breathed hard but listened to you, but only because one of the many rules Jiyong left him and the others was to do what ever you asked without any problems. Still, he left the door cracked just enough that if you were to need him at all he could hear you. Every time you would hiss or groan in pain he'd jump and wait for your voice again but it wouldn't come for him. Instead he was left there, listening to you as you tried to silence your sobs and angry muttering. Even though he didnt know what you were saying, he heard you say 'Jaebum' enough times to have a pretty good idea.

The shower made you feel better in more ways than one. Your muscles that had been tight and restricting had loosened up, the bruises on your body seemed to feel more neutral and the area that your stitches occupied was no longer gumpy and gross from the lack of true proper cleaning. On top of that you didnt feel gross any more, finally being able to wipe off the grime and blood from the floor of the concrete building. You had let your eyes close and your hands began to work at your hair to try and wash the grime of the past few weeks away, but a sharp, stinging pain on your left hand made you hiss and pull your hand away from your head. You started to rinse your hand just figuring the soap must have gotten into a cut, but as you pulled the large bandaid off of your skin and the soap started to wash away an image etched on your hand became more clear.

Covered by a dark scab was the long, winding body of a mean looking snake. But the snake wasn't a snake. You rinsed your hand again and brought it closer to your face. A large bearded face with an open mouth and sharp teeth. Through its long whiskers a set of wide eyes looked straight up at you. Your heart began to pound and your nails started to scratch at the scab, trying convince yourself that it was just marker or something else along the lines of that. You scratched and scratched, your hand covered now in deluded blood making you realize just how deep the cuts actually were.

You froze and watched your hand bleed giving the dragon an in-motion look to it. All you could do was look at the series of cuts now. What did this mean? Where did this come from and why was it being covered. Now that you thought about it, when ever your wounds were being tended to this was the one thing they never checked.

A harsh knock on the door sounded and your name was called from the other side causing you to jump and gasp in surprise. You quickly rinsed your hand and turned the water off, wrapping yourself quickly in the towel before swinging the door open with as much force as you could use. Jiyong flanked by Seungri and Daesung stood there waiting for you, a kind smile on all of their faces. Jiyong opened his mouth to say something but you just shoved your bleeding hand out at him, now shaking in anger.

"What is this."

"Y/n..."

"I asked you what is this. You said no lies why is this carved into my skin, Jiyong!" You said, yelling until you were left coughing roughly. You tried to pull away from the set of arms that wrapped around your waist to support you but you couldn't get away from him, not with the way you were coughing.

"Y/n listen." Jiyong started as your coughing fit ended. "It's for your protection. We all have them, see?" He said as Daesung and Seungri held their hands out to you.

"And yours?" You spat. If he really marked all of his men and preached unity and protection he should have one himself.

You watched as he chuckled until your eyes were caught by his hands undoing his shirt. You watched as he let the shirt drop off of his shoulders and he slowly turned, your mouth falling open as you looked at the detailed scar work that connected into a huge dragon head on Jiyong's back.

"You said I could choose. Why did you do this to me." You said trying to hide the tears that started to well in your eyes again.

"I know, that is what I said.  But just in case we took the opportunity when you were out on pain medication to give you our symbol. We figured wether you go back to Im or stay with us you'll forever need protection, and if Im isn't up to the task you at least have this now to protect you." It made sense, but you hated the thought of Jaebum not being able to protect you any more and you hated it even more that these group of strangers through they had a say in who would protect you and who couldn't. A tear slipped down your cheek as you thought about him, your eyes now only focusing on your still bleeding hand.

"Seungri, take care of her hand. We are going back into our meeting. If you need anything else y/n, please tell me." He said bowing low.

"I want to go home." You said softly at first.

"Excuse me?"

"I want to go home. I don't want to be here, I don't want to be apart of your little plan I don't want to help you!" You said, your voice getting louder and louder.

"Y/n please, I have guests on the phone. They'll hear you." Jiyong said, his voice gaining a threatening tone.

"Does it look like I care! I don't want to be here! If you don't want hostages making a ruckus than don't house hostages!" Jiyong looked at you with dark eyes, his long fingers coming up to press to the bridge of his nose.

"Seungri, her hand."

You didn't talk for the rest of the night. Seungri did up your hand and left you to sulk. You wanted to rebel but your body hurt so much so the only way you would think of pissing them off was to rip the bandage off and scratch harder till your hand was bleeding once again. Deasung came to check on you shortly after Seungri left to the meeting and seeing your hand bleeding again made him sigh and dress it up again. The next time it was Yongbae who came in so see you scratching and bleeding all over the fresh sheets.

"God damn it Y/n stop!" He yelled taking both your hands in his, his sudden outburst making Seunghyun who was walking by stop into the room. When Yongbae finished explaining what had happened his own hand and even the cuff of his white shirt was stained red.

"I will ask you once and that is it. Do not rip this bandage off. If you do I will have no other choice than to treat you like we would a regular hostage!" Seunghyun rose his voice at you.

You pouted and scoffed, but let Yongbae fix your hand again. You didn't care what Seunghyun said though, it was an empty threat. There was no way you were going to be banished to a dungeon for making yourself bleed. You pulled your knees up to your chest and looked over your shoulder to avoid his eye contact. When he finally felt you had given up was when he and Yongbae left the room, the door cracked slightly. You listened carefully and the moment they seemed far enough away you started to rip the bandaid off again.

"Y/n! Stop it!" Seungri whisper yelled as he half ran into the room, his hand reaching to stop yours from mutilating your body. "If you keep scratching it's only going to make the scar worse. Just stop." He said smoothing the bandaid with his thumbs.

He looked at you with sad eyes for what seemed like for ever. Eventually his had moved from yours to your cheek. He stroked away a stray tear and sighed, he hated seeing you like this. He always had hated seeing you upset like this. You looked at him and  saw that in his eyes. There was too much pain and emotion towards you in his eyes that it made your stomach turn. His thumb trailed down your cheek and to hook under your chin to slowly bring your chin up so you could look at him better.

"Ive missed you like crazy. You can't imagine the pain I've gone through having to see you walk away from me." He said sighing. He dipped his head and chuckled one before looking up at you once more. His lips pressed into a straight line and you had to look away. But as your eyed looked down to focus on the blood that was already showing through the bandage the feeling of his lips on your forehead made your body go tense again, causing you to pull away from him.

"I want to go home. I don't want to be here so if hurting myself is the only way you'll let me go then I'll do it." You said sternly, trying to pull yourself from his grip. "Let me go Ri I want to go home let me go!"

"Y/n, Please stop it, stop fighting me!"

"What's going on in here." A sharp command came from the door.

"She keeps making herself bleed." Seungri said over his shoulder as he fought to keep ahold of your hands.

"Ri let go!" You yelled louder, sliding off the bed to try and get away from him but you were just caught in his arm and he lifted you back up.

You started to kick and scream as you tried your hardest to get away from him. Jiyong from the side watched half amused, ignoring all calls coming down the hall at him that held the same question he had.

"Boss help!" Seungri yelled back.

"What? You can't handle a girl that spent the past two weeks getting beat up?" He said with amusement at how hard you were actually fighting despite the excruciating pain it was probably causing you.

"I don't want to hurt her boss please." Jiyong then straighten and nodded, leaving the room for half a second before returning and taking ahold of one of your wrists.

Now you were fighting against two men, each holding onto you, pinning your arms down onto the blood stains sheets. Both men grunted as you kicked screamed and cried trying to hold you down, and trying to do so without actually causing any pain to the rest of your battered body. Through tear filled eyes you watched Seunghyun enter the room leading the other two men. You pulled and yelled harder as the men around tied you down, your feet tied together and bound to  the footboard of the bed while your hands were tied as far apart from one another as they could get them, you cried at the pain the position put out in as it pulled the skin that had been stitched together apart, but they only gave you a few more inches of slack when they realized it was hurting you.

"Just... for fucks sakes... y/n, relax..." Jiyong panted, his hands on his knees. You spat in his direction, but he was to exhausted fight with you.

"If you would have met me any other way... we would have been best friends."

And with that. Just one last sad look from Seungri and you were left there. Alone. You tried to break the restraints but the rope was too strong. You tried to pull your hands out but the rope was too secure. Giving up you tried to just wait up, to see if they would come into check on you. But as you waited sleep took over your body again, and not caring what your wishes were, you fell unconscious to dream about sweet Jaebum and dragon shaped scars.

[hellocupcakeitsme]

An Unexpected Journey

https://ift.tt/2SYS6ZT

So for the last almost 7 months I have been walking more and more and finding it rather enjoyable. I've never been one for hiking or anything like that. I've liked the idea of it, but putting that into the physical act of actually doing so has always been something completely different.

Just recently, I walked 13.5 miles (21.73k) from my town to the next. Now according to the trail signs, the distance is only 7.3 miles (11.75k). But Im not sure if that "as the crow flies" (meaning a straight line) or if that is how far it actually is. But 3 different apps that I have on my phone said that it was 13.5 miles.  Which trust me, either way, my feet and back were killing me. It was such an emotional and almost spiritual adventure. I have NO EXCUSE for why I did it. It quite literally just happened. The day that I went walking, I had it in my mind that I was going to walk to the 6 mile marker. Where I park my car and start walking is about 1/4 of a mile (0.042k) from the 7 mile post marker. So I have always done the trail just past the 6.5 trail marker. But that day like I said I wanted to see where Mile 6 post was. And it was on a part of the trail that I had never done before, so if anything, curiosity got the better of me.

So, when I came up on the 6 mile marker, I decided to "go a little further" to see where that part of the trial went. When I came to the bottom of a steep hill and saw a ranch style fence, I thought "ok i'll just walk up to that fence and turn around." Had I done that, my round trip would have been just under 4 miles at that point, because I had walked over 1.5 miles. But when I got to the top of that hill and caught my breath, I noticed that the trail was flat for as far as I could see. So I thought, "ok I wonder where 5.5 miles is." A few weeks prior to all of this, I picked up the trail from a different access point and walked from the 4 mile marker to the 5 mile marker. I called a girlfriend of mine and asked her if she would come pick me up if I kept walking because I knew I probably wouldn't have the strength nor the stamina to make the return trip to my car. And that I was going to keep walking until I couldn't go any further. So she agreed and so I continued my journey.

When I got to the 5.5 mile marker (8.85k) I realized that I had seen it before, and realized where I was from having walked it a few weeks prior. So that gave me a renewed sense of energy "knowing" that the next trail access was only a mile or so up from where I was. This is when things started getting a bit spiritual for me. As I was walking, and there really wasn't anyone else on the trail, save for a biker or someone running by every now and then, but for the majority of the time, I was all by myself. 

So I started talking to god/goddess/spirit/higher power/the universe/etc and asking for the ability to complete my task of walking further than I have. Now mind you, this is when the wildfires in California, Oregon, and Washington were really bad. The air quality was 289 (which is really really REALLY bad). And because I didn't plan on doing that large of a walk, I had NO previsions with me. Thankfully this time of year all of the Blackberries are in season and so are the wild apple trees. So every so often I would stop at a blackberry patch and grab a few handfuls and mush it around in my mouth. Not only for the sweet sugary taste, but for the juice to help with my thirst. So about 2 miles from where I started eating the blackberries, I met a wonderful lady who was mucking out her horse stalls. I stopped and spoke with her for a few moments, she offered to go get me some water, but her house was about 8 acres from where she was, and I honestly didn't want to stand around and wait for her. So I thanked her and kept on going. I then came to a green apple tree. I thought that it might be crab apples, which are very tart and kind of "woody" and not very juicy. I knocked one off the tree, because at this point I was starving because I didn't eat anything before going on my walk, because having to use the restroom on the trail isn't that fun, and I didnt have any toilet paper with me, so I didn't want to eat and have to deficate on the trail. But that apple was a wild Granny Smith. It was the most delicious apple I had ever eaten (at least right then while i was a bit dehydrated and hungry) that I actually turned around and got 5 more for the trip ahead. 

By this time I was at the 4.5 mile marker letting me know that I was almost to the trail access that I was going to have my friend pick me up at. But I started thinking "its really not that much further into town." So I kept going. By this time im an emotional wreck, and everything is making me want to cry. I had begun "unpacking" emotions and situations that had happened and just really doing some mental and emotional cleaning and soul searching. My feet were in pain, my lower back was numb from the pain. But I just kept telling myself to keep going. Honestly I have no fixed memory of what I was thinking about at the time. What feelings I was having. Nothing. It would come in waves, I would think about it and play scenarios out in my head and then move on to the next thought. They kept coming like waves, and it seemed like everytime I would come up for a breath I would get hit with another one. 

After I got past the 4 mile marker and saw the 3.5 marker I was completely lost. So everything at that point was new. Which brought on its own set of emotional tidal waves. I started talking to myself and the universe or whatever spirit or god wanted to hear me and listen to the ramblings of a fat man walking in the woods. At one point I came to a large tunnel that ran under a road that I had driven over many times before, but did not realize that there was a trail that went under it. And there was a breeze that was passing through it that made it feel like an air conditioner, which took my breath away because I was really hot. I just stood there for a moment, and cooled down.

Then walking through it, I noticed all the graffiti that was on the walls and had thought about my friends from California who are street artists and how they would have loved that tunnel and would have used it as one big canvas for something im sure that would have been worthy of an art gallery.

Just on the other side of this tunnel was a long stretch of forest trail that had the most lush and prehistoric looking Sword Ferns that I have ever seen. These have quickly become one of my favorite forest plants that I have come across. So as I was marveling at the natural beauty around me, and coming to an open field, something walked out onto the road and caught my eye. At first I thought that it was a small dog or a racoon or something like that, but it was an orange tom cat. As I approached it I thought that someone may have abandoned it out there. But as the trees began thinning and I got closer to the clearing, I could see that there were houses on either side of me, and that this little guy had a collar on, and a well worn trail where he had walked many times before. But trust me, I was more than ready to scoop him up and bring him home with me, even though Bella probably would have killed both him and I.

When I had walked about 1500 yards, I could see the highway into town. This of course brought tears to my eyes, realizing how close I was to the end of the trail, and thinking about how many times I had driven that stretch of road and never knew that there was all of this beauty and semi hidden trail. Walking under the freeway and realizing that I had less than 2.5 miles to go before I was at the end of my journey, I began getting really giddy. More street art adorned the overpass. 

When I came to the 2 mile marker of the trail, I almost lost it. Years prior, when I had first moved to Washington, I had walked to the 2 mile marker from the end of the trail, and realized that it was literally all downhill from there, but in the best possible way.  My thoughts and emotions were all over the place. When I came to the 1 mile marker. I started crying uncontrollably. I started talking to my dad, my grandma, and grandpa, telling them how proud they would be of me for making it that far, and for having done something like that in the first place. I could see my end goal in sight. I know that section of the trial all to well, as I walk it several times a month. When I got to the 1/2 mile marker I called my friend and told her where to pick me up. There was a part of me that wanted to keep walking. To keep walking past the trails end, all the way to the end of the road where it met the ocean. But I had kept her waiting by her phone all day, and didn't want to make her wait around for me any longer than what she already had.

As I approached the end of the trail, where it meets a parking lot. It felt like my steps were getting heavier and harder to make. Like subconsciously I didn't want it to end. That even though I was in pain, and numb, that I needed to keep going. But the spark of sanity that I had left told me that it was more of an accomplishment than I was giving myself credit for. Stepping off the trail, and walking to where I told my friend I would meet her, was difficult. Time was off for me. I kept having flashbacks to where I was, what I had seen, and to a smaller degree who i was when I started vs who I was when it ended. Yeah it was only a few hours, and several miles of walking. But it really did have that profound of an effect on me. Especially since the week before I was seriously depressed, and had being toying with the idea of just ending it once and for all. But here I was. I had accomplished a goal that I had set for the following summer, and had accomplished it almost 7 months ahead of schedule. 

When I saw my friends car pull up, I lost all control I had and began crying. She was more than ecstatic for me, and just as shocked as I was that I had done it. I kept my sobbing under control the best that I could, just letting hot tears streak down my face. My back was in spasms, my feet felt like they were broken. My shins hurt, my calves were cramping. But I had done it. I had made a trip that this time last year would have been impossible. 

For days after my walk, I had what I can only describe as PTSD from it. I just kept having flashbacks to parts of the trail. Remembering things that I saw, the scent, the sounds. I have since started watching Trail Vloggers, and watching their journey's. And they all have said the same thing. That when they end a hike, that they get what they call "post trail depression".  I have now downloaded several hiking apps, that show all of the trails in my area, and their ratings. And I have also began stockpiling hiking gear. I've been walking with a school backpack with about 7lbs of stuff in it, just to get used to walking with a pack on. My friends husband, gave me one of his old hunting packs and told me that he has some other items that he was going to give me.

I have already planned my next "big" walk. Its just under 14 miles, and another one that I plan on doing next summer too. I would try to do it now, but its fall/winter here in the PNW now and i'm still not that experienced, and still need to build up the strength and stamina to do so. And plus it will give me some more time to get things together for it. 

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