#and then i come to my senses and am like OH...sorry pal

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FROM DIE HARD *  assorted dialogue from the 1988 christmas movie, adjust as necessary

no fucking shit, lady!

does it sound like i'm ordering a pizza?

come out to the coast. we'll get together, have a few laughs.

i've got a hundred people down here.

who gives a shit about glass?

who the fuck is this?

i am in charge of this situation.

oh, you're in charge? well i've got some bad news for you. from up here it doesn't look like you're in charge of jack shit.

you listen to me, you little asshole...

now you listen to me, jerk-off.

if you're not a part of the solution, you're a part of the problem.

are you still there?

yeah, i'm still here. unless you wanna open the front door for me.

you know my name, but who are you?

do you really think you have a chance against us?

yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker.

now i have a machine gun.

welcome to the party, pal!

you'd have made a pretty good cowboy yourself.

what was it you said to me before?

i thought i told all of you i want radio silence.

i'm very sorry [name]. i didn't get that message.

that's very kind of you.

you are most troublesome.

sorry, wrong guess.

whoa, these are very bad for you.

who are you then?

god. that man looks really pissed.

you want money?

so that's what this is about? a fucking robbery?

put down the gun.

you throw quite a party.

now i know what a tv dinner feels like.

who's driving this car, stevie wonder?

drop it, dickhead.

you won't hurt me.

after all your posturing, all your little speeches, you're nothing but a common thief.

i am an exceptional thief.

hey, how you feeling?

what the fuck?

geronimo, motherfucker!

you motherfucker, i'm gonna kill you!

i have someone who wants to talk to you.

they're giving me a few minutes to try and talk some sense into you.

i know you think you're doing your job, and i can appreciate that, but you're just dragging this thing out.

what have you told them?

i told them we were old friends.

you shouldn't be doing this.

they know people are listening.

didn't you hear me?

shut up! just shut your mouth!

go fuck yourself, [name].

put down the gun.

i'm going to count to three.

what do you think, i'm fucking stupid?

i have a request.

what idiot put you in charge?

i don't enjoy being this close to you.

can't you see what's happening? can't you read between the lines?

you couldn't drag me away.

you don't wanna know.

i had an accident.

the way you drive, i can see why.

drop the fucking gun!

the hell with this.

you are done.

thanks for the advice.

i hope that's not a hostage.

i'm going to count to three. there will not be a four.

what the fuck are you doing?

how the fuck did you get into this shit?

i hope i'm not interrupting anything.

you're amazing. you've figured this all out already.

hey, business is business.

you use a gun, i use a fountain pen.

he could be a fucking bartender for all we know.

the FBI is here.

want a breath mint?

are we on schedule?

what about the body that fell out the window?

i can live with that.

why the fuck didn't you stop them?

oh god, please don't let me die.

i'm on your side, you assholes!

i wanted this to be professional, efficient, adult, cooperative... not a lot to ask.

something's wrong.

you don't like flying, do you?

you didn't bring me along for my charming personality.

we are both professionals.

do you smoke?

right up the ass.

you macho assholes.

i know the type. i think he's got his eye on you.

we may have some problems.

i need backup assistance!

no one is coming to help you.

no one kills him but me.

are you crazy?

good enough?

[diagonal-queen]

HELLO!! i keep requesting them sotty im obsessed but what about hunting dogs with a s/o who has a child😅😅i got silly again

Hunting Dogs with your child

♡ pairing: Fukuchi Ouchi, Jouno Saigiku, Tecchou Suehiro, Teruko Okura (platonic), Tachihara Michizou x gn!Reader

♡ synopsis: How do these goofballs fare as stepdads? (or, in Teruko's case, fun auntie?)

♡ cw: Swearing, unofficial stepfathering, unrealistically good stepfathering, reader's ex situation is not established but it's assumed that their baby momma/daddy is not in the picture (Tachihara), mentions of violence

note: I just haven't written anything in ages, and for that I apologise. Wow, being in university is time consuming! I've had block for months and it's been an absolute pain in the arse but I'm back babey! Keep your requests coming anon- I am the Hunting Dogs whisperer and I will write them till I die. Apologies for errors and I hope you enjoy x

Fukuchi:

My dude is so so so enthusiastic. You mean to tell him that he gets a beautiful loving partner AND a new little guy to hang out with?? Sign him tf up

This man buys your kid so many presents it's genuinely concerning. Your child is spoilt to hell and back by Fukuchi. You need to discourage him from this behaviour STAT

He constantly uses dad words like 'buddy' and 'pal' and 'kiddo' to refer to your kid and they eventually start responding to these nicknames lol

He would totally also do dad stances and just embrace the fatherly aura that is slowly overtaking him day by day (bro starts falling asleep on the couch while the game's on at 9pm)

He's actually surprisingly gentle with your child. If they cry he'll pick them up and comfort them very well. He's like a whole different person when your kid is scared or sad- it's the cutest thing ever

If your child ever gets him a Fathers' Day present he'll probably cry like old man tears of joy. In fact if your child ever does anything nice for him he'll be incredibly touched. Kinda reminds him what he's doing his job for :')

Tells your child great exaggerated (CHILD FRIENDLY) stories about his heroic achievements as a soldier before bed. It's genuinely super cute you guys

If the kid ever runs up to him in excitement when he arrives home in the evening he returns the energy and is like 'omg there they are! that's my kiddo! how have you been??' and picks them up and AUGH they're so cute

Just....🥺🥺

Jouno:

Your child is probably scared of him at first. Within their first meeting he probably makes them cry.

Sorry y'all 😭 but he doesn't exactly come off as much of a teddy bear...and nor does he really act like one with anyone else other than you in private

Jouno just isn't good with kids. Not in the sense that he's scared of them but that he doesn't really know how to interact with them without being intimidating or otherwise just detached

But he really loves you, and he wants to be a good parental figure to your kid, so he tries to warm them up to him by getting them a gift. That probably helps- he might not know much about kids but he's right to assume that they fucking love receiving gifts

Whatever your child's hobbies/interests are, Jouno genuinely does try to connect with them over it, and after a while it does work.

Soon enough your child and Jouno are inseparable and your child is spewing sadistic military rhetoric and oh dear god you've made a terrible mistake introducing the two of them

Yeah, Jouno probably teaches your kid all KINDS of horrible things. He will tell your child stories about times he's tortured suspects, or slaughtered gangs, and just stuff that is not family friendly. You have to nip that behaviour in the bud or else...

He's generally pretty good at taking care of your child, but like, if your kid cried because they were scared there was a monster under the bed, Jouno would probably be like "Yeah. There is. Good luck." and then turn off the lights and leave 💀

Just give him time. He'll learn how to be an emotionally available parent at SOME point

Tecchou:

He's not the step dad. He's the dad that stepped up

Tecchou is definitely very aloof and awkward around your child- like, he knows how to interact with you, but children are different. Children are frightening. And they are his biggest fear maybe

In spite of this, he is fiercely protective of your kid. He will make sure that child is as safe and calm as possible at all times, and he certainly prefers to show that he cares through actions rather than words.

He usually wouldn't initiate physical contact with your child but if they hugged him he would hug back, if they gave him a hi-five he would do it back, etc etc. he will never let your kid down

If your child likes make belief, you can bet you'd walk into a room and find your kid all dressed up, off their rocker in full theatre mode, while Tecchou is sitting on the floor, also dressed up, but looking more depressed than ever before

Save him from your baby. They are taking YEARS off his life

He probably accidentally sends your kid to hospital at some point because he cooked for them. Damnit Tecchou, how don't you realise that a child's stomach wouldn't be able to handle a combination of chocolate and beef

It's okay though, he does learn from this. Plus, he takes care of your child and buys them presents and hangs out with them until they're better <3

He might not join your child in the ball pit, but he would watch them swim around in there with the softest, faintest, most affectionate smile on his face. And that is all that matters folks

Teruko (platonic):

The funnest, meanest, coolest auntie ever

Teruko will lead your child down a dreadful path. Limit their visits to holidays and birthdays for your own sake and the sake of your young one

She's really more than happy to negatively influence look after your child if you need her to though, and they love her because she's super chill and lets them get away with all kinds of things (that aren't violent crimes against humanity)

Your parent says one cookie after dinner? Screw it, have six. I won't tell if you won't. - Teruko, probably

She uses her ability to entertain your kid sometimes- usually she'll decrease her age so she can join them in things like building pillow forts and playing on jungle gyms

I'm just picturing them playing at the park and some concerned parent coming up to them asking where their guardian is and Teruko just fucking transforms into a grown woman on the spot and goes 'WHO'S ASKING' 😭

Teruko is a super cool fun aunt. But she is very wise, and she really will give your kid good life advice on occasion.

She'll also cheer them up when they're feeling down, and if they're feeling scared she helps them step out of their comfort zones and confront their fears (in a safe way!!)

If your kid is like, getting picked on at school or something, Teruko will nag you to phone their school about it. If you don't, she does. If they don't do anything about it, she does. Bottom line is NOBODY fucks with your kid when Teruko is around

I guess technically she really is scary dog privilege lmao

Tachihara:

Help he's so nervous at first? Tachihara this is a child, not a wise sage- you can be normal around them

He just wants to make a good impression on the child okay he's doing his best

But (obviously) your kid immediately loves him, and thinks he's the coolest guy ever, and wants to hang out with him all the time

Tachihara has a bit of a concern that the kid will think that he's trying to replace their other parent, which is fair, but it's unfounded because your child absolutely adores him and does not care about that at all

If your child ever calls him 'Dad' watch his soul fucking transcend to a new plane, he's so surprised and honoured that this beautiful person's child would consider him their parent

Your kid has Tachihara wrapped around their tiny finger. He will oblige them with anything- if you've got a toddler who likes uppies and piggybacks, say your prayers for Tachihara's upper arm and back muscles because he will carry them for hours

You really need him to stop leaving weaponry around the house, though- the absolute HEART ATTACK you had when you saw your precious baby carrying around an unloaded pistol

Also, Tachihara, babe, STOP SWEARING SO MUCH AROUND THE BABY. I CAN'T HAVE MY KID SAYING 'FUCK' TO STRANGERS - you, probably

Doesn't really ever talk about his job(s) with your kid, all they know is that he 'kills bad guys', and they think that's cool as fuck

He's not perfect, sure. But he is trying so hard to be The Perfect Parent™ and, more importantly, he loves your child to bits

taglist~ ♡ @gettinshiggywithit, @fyodorhatr, @flower-of-darkness, @bejeweledgirl, @kokoenjiandco, @pinkiipeachiikeen

of course, thank you to anon for this req!

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Mad Season 2

Warnings: non/dubcon, social anxiety, chronic illness, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: Bucky Barnes, Peter Parker

Summary: a class project gets messy. (short!reader)

Note: yes I'm being irresponsible.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

‘So sorry I’m running behind. May forgot her wallet’. You reread Peter’s message for the fifth time and check the time under the bubble. More than forty minutes ago. He has to be close. 

You thought of checking but you don’t want to pressure him. Besides, he is doing a favour by bringing you to Stark Tower to let you use the space with him. You turn and pace along the wall, out of the way of the New York pedestrians who wouldn’t even notice if you got underfoot. 

You thought of waiting in the lobby but that’s too much. You focus on breathing. You feel alright for the moment, but a few times, you’ve reached for your inhaler just out of habit.  

“Hey,” a voice draws you out of your mounting anxiety, bringing you back down to just above neutral. “Door’s open, you know?” 

You face Bucky as he holds open of the many glass doors. 

You nod and teeter on your heels. “I know, sir. Just waiting.” 

“Bucky,” he corrects you. Like last time. Oops. “Waiting on the kid?” You gesture affirmatively again. He waves you over casually with a gloved hand, “come on. I can get ya into the lab.” 

“Mm, ahem,” you clear your throat, it’s getting tight. You get closer as the noise of the street makes it hard to hear your own thoughts. “That’s nice but I said I’d wait here.” 

“Busy,” he comments and his eyes roll around derisively. “Should be out here on the street. Let the kid know you’ll be upstairs.” 

There’s no arguing with him, not that you would ever dare. You’re not afraid of him. Maybe intimidated but who doesn’t make you feel small. No, he’s Bucky Barnes, an Avenger. You have no ground to tell him no. Besides, he’s being nice even if his tone remains mostly indifferent. 

“Thanks, s—Bucky,” you muster a tight-lipped smile. 

He holds the door and you flit in ahead of him, your wool jacket flapping and brushing against him. He follows. You hurry ahead then stop short as you realise you don’t know where you going. As you do, a man in a suit huffs and nearly knocks you over with his arm. 

“Watch it, little girl.” He sneers. 

“Hey,” Bucky catches him by his tie, “what’d you say to the lady?” 

You spin around in shock, rubbing your arm at the suddenness of it all. 

“N-nothing, I--” the man blinks in fear. “Nothing, she just got in my way.” 

“You knocked into her and you can’t say sorry?” Bucky pulls him closer, glaring at him with a furrow of his nose. 

“N-no,” the man shows his palms, “no.” 

“Look at her. She’s half your size, pal. You think she could hurt you?” 

“No, no, look, I’m sorry. I’m sorry!” The man sputters. 

“Not to me,” Bucky slides his hand down the man’s tie and pulls him like a dog on a leash toward you, “her.” 

The man blanches and gulp, “look, miss, I’m sorry. I didn’t see you. I shouldn’t have... I should look where I’m going.” 

“Good boy,” Bucky’s snarl comes close to a smirk as he lets the man go and taps his cheek lightly. “Go.” 

He shoves the man by the shoulder and you bat your eyes dumbly. You watch him go as Bucky looms close. You look at him and reach for your bag. You unzip the pouch at the end of the thin strap and pull out your inhaler. You take a puff. 

His expression softens, “oh, is that me?” 

You shake your head, “too many people.” 

“Ah, right,” he points toward the elevators. 

You follow him as he bulldozes through the bodies and pushes the button. You stop beside him and fidget with your inhaler. You peek over at him again. He looks down at you and you wince. 

“Sorry... I...” 

“People usually only stare when I got the arm out,” he shrugs. “I got something on my face? Damn beard catches.”  

Brushes his fingers over the thicket of hair across his jaw. You shake your head again. 

“S-sorry. I... I...” you sniff as the doors open and he beckons you ahead of him. You scurry on and he follows as a slow pace. He spins and jabs the buttons.  

“Thanks for... for helping.” 

“Not at all,” he says. Silence rises with the elevator. He coughs. “You know, I had a buddy with ashthma. Still my buddy but he don’t got the asthma no more.”  

He snorts. You mull his words. You think know who he means.  

“The stuff or whatever... got rid of it?” You ask meekly. 

“Yeah, the stuff. Serum. Poison,” he scoffs. 

“Oh,” you hum. 

“Guess I take it for granted. Never had to worry about much of the being sick part. Sister did. Yeah, she used to always have something,” he clicks his tongue. “Tell me when to shut up.” 

“No, no, I wouldn’t... wouldn’t ever,” you stutter. 

Another lulls fills the elevator as it opens, but the tension remains trapped inside. He points you out first and waits to trail after you. You come out onto the floor. You vaguely recognise some of the acrylic decor and the stiff looking chairs but you don’t know where to go. 

“Left,” he directs you with a gentle caress down your sleeve. “Easy to get lost when you don’t waste your life here." 

You let him guide you. You’d lose yourself without him. It’s exactly why you’d been out on the street.  

That reminds you of Peter. You reach for your bag again and pull out your phone. You check for a message. 

“Kid standing a nice gal like you up?” He asks. 

You flinch, “uh, no, his aunt... there was an emergency.” 

“More important than you, huh?” He pivots and presses his finger to the keypad. The door opens. 

“I don’t... I don’t know. It’s not a big deal.” 

He looks at you, his eyes narrowing, “you’re not a big deal?” 

“No, waiting isn’t... isn’t that bad,” you stammer. “Uh, thanks, again.” 

“Well, you know, in my day, we treated ladies with respect. Let me know if the kid needs a lesson or two,” he taps the doorframe. “I’ll check in, just in case.” 

“You don’t have to.” 

“I know I don’t,” he says. “Go on,” he nods through the door. 

You don’t hesitate. You enter the lab with another thanks, eager to have some time to yourself. You go to the table and untangle your knapsack. You look back just as the door starts to slide shut. You only get a glimpse of his eyes before he’s blocked out by the metal barrier. You can feel his gaze staining you. 

You know it must be all in your head but he is so intense. Not as angry as last time but still... a lot. 

[captainjacklyn]

Love, Love, Love Part 2-ish

A/N : continuation of this and this, hope you liked the first part because I'm on an absolute roll. To all those waiting for a continuation of many of my series, I am so sorry. I'm serious guys pls forgive me I know it's been a really long time since and I still need to finish other requests I started.

Context : Rollo gets transferred to NRC for a few months, The Headmaster decides that he would be staying at Ramshackle Dorm much to Malleus' dismay (along with grim and the first years who are aware of the truth). Yuu doesn't find it nice either but with time they allow the third year to open up to them, eventually growing mutual respect for one another, perhaps some friendship..and a bit more.

Warning(s) : fluff, mostly crack, hints of rollo liking Yuu, this is a continuation of some sort to my joke so pls understand that it isn't from the beginning, Rollo might be OOC he's just scared of Yuu, they/them pronouns for Prefect, the first years who weren't present in glorious masquerade find out and try to push rollo away. (it doesn't work) is this stolen from peter rabbit ? Yes. Most. but not all of it.

The story starts...now ?

Something suspicious was stirring around the 'relationship' between Yuu and the strange newcomer. At least it looked like it to their close friends who were already bitter about the idea of that religious trauma-induced student coming but even more so when that horrible influence hung around their prefect.

It wasn't as if they didn't trust Yuu, they didn't trust him ! He was being all close with their mom friend pal, knowing what he did, they weren't going to stand around and do nothing. They're gonna do something about it, about him.

It all began the day the Adeuce duo and Epel witnessed Yuu casually speaking with grey haired priest and HE WAS SMILING?! OH HELL NAH GET YOUR EYEBALLS OFF OF THEM- but truly they misunderstood, for now at least, since most of the resident's interactions regarded around Yuu, threatening Flamm..Of ripping his guts out.

.

.

.

.

.

"Ace, Deuce!" Grim shouted through the halls as he ran towards them, the both of them turned around to see the raccoon panting and wheezing from his sprint. "Hey there Grim- Woah what was that?~ You trynna imitate being a cheetah now?" Ace teased, his remark making the fire cat retort with a 'hey!' before Deuce stepped in to ask the obvious question. "What's wrong?" forgetting his comeback, Grim immediately switched back to panic mode.

"My Henchman! A-A-And that weird suspicious dude! They're SPENDING TIME TOGETHER AND BEING ALL WEIRD MUSHY LOOKING!" He exclaimed, his revelation shocking the two freshmen who's eyes widened in horror. "What- How?! Didn't prefect say they hated that guy?" Ace sputtered as he tried making sense of the situation, he was a bit confused as to why he was reacting this way but with the amount of braincells left he couldn't care anymore.

"That's what I thought! But this morning I found them- laughing and talking to each other!" he added more fuel to the fire, ace and deuce exchanged concerned glances and spoke in unison. "We gotta get the others."

"Yes !" Grim smiled as he threw a fist in the air. It took a good second for him to realize they didn't say what he thought they would.

"...Wait what- AH!" But he didn't have time to argue as they grabbed him by the neck and made their way to find the others.

Passing through Savannaclaw, Pomefiore and Diasomnia almost felt like an eternity to fetch Jack, Epel and Sebek. Especially the half-fae as he was persistent on the idea of staying by his future king's side during the entire duration of Rollo's stay. After sharing the news, they all bolted to Ramshackle dorm, and there they saw it.

Yuu was having a conversation with the same young man that dropped them down a trap door when they came around for a celebration. The same young man who tried to erase magic forever. And they were speaking like they've been friends for years.

The group of first years were hiding behind a tree, in between the gates of the not-so-abandoned dorm. All of their heads comically poking out to take a peek at the flabbergasting sight. "That's a lot of smiling." Epel commented as he watched the prefect supposedly laugh at something Rollo said. (They weren't, they quite literally started to laugh because of Rollo's genuinely terrified face) "More than before even." he continued, Ace added on with another remark, "They're showing a lot of teeth."

Then, Jack made a very bold statement which earned collective noises of disgust from the rest of the team. "Do you think they like him?" Sebek's face morphed into horror, Grim started gagging, Deuce looked like he was going through fifty existential crisis all at the same time, meanwhile Ace was debating on what he should express. Either way they were all mortified.

"They don't like him, they're just being nice! Yuu is nice all the time, they always smile at us!" the grey monster retorted, denying any further supposition. "Well..not like that." They flipped their heads towards the pair, and Yuu's hand rested on Rollo's shoulder as he chuckled nervously.

.

.

.

.

.

"Could you imagine? You trying to take over the world again? What a joke ! I would bury you alive honestly!" the non-magic student exclaimed as they broke into another loud laughter. Rollo could only nod along a little offended but mostly nervous, "Right yes no that would- that won't ever happen." "Yes because I will actually force-feed you the flowers you tried killing us with."

"😨"

"😄"

Yay. Part 3 coming up soon.

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Expectation

Your Sanders Sides fics have meant so much to me. I really love the h/c AND ALSO the goofy little ones like the being stuck in a (not) broken elevator. I saw a prompt which was that that Strictest Interpretations of the canon sides meet the fanon versions of themselves, which honestly could go either way (angsty self-reflection or they all have a snowball fight in the imagination). I would honestly love to see your take on it! Thank you for considering and I hope you have a good day/night/whatever time it is where you are :D – anon

Read on Ao3

Pairings: none

Warnings: none

Word Count: 1331

We all know that the canon and fanon differ; from the wild AUs to the canon-compliant, there are variations. What happens when some of these versions come face to face?

 

"Oh, so you're what the fans think I am!" Patton tilts his head to the side. "Your glasses are different!"

The other version of him giggles and fiddles with the glasses. They're almost cartoonishly big, round frames that make him look even more like an anime character. "Yep! I think it's to differentiate us from Logan—you know, 'cause he's more the serious, square-glasses type and we're the fun-loving dad Side."

"That makes sense!"

"This is so interesting!" The other him claps his hands excitedly. "There are so many things I want to talk about with you!"

"Really? Like what?"

"Well, how much we love our kiddos, to start with!"

"That's an excellent thing to talk about, 'cause you know, you don't wanna smother them—"

"—but they're so cute, they might as well be bagels looking for that Crofters jam in the morning!"

"Oh! Good one!"

"Thanks!"

The two of them laugh as Patton waves him over to the couch. "I gotta say, it's so nice to talk to someone who's obviously on the same page as I am. It's been—whoo! It's been a little stressful recently, but this? This is nice."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear it's been stressful, kiddo! Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Aw!" Patton holds a hand to his chest. "Aren't you just the nicest?"

"Hey, right back atcha, pal!"

2.

Logan squints at the person in front of him, who bears up to his scrutiny remarkably well. They have a very similar disposition to him, except of course for the difference in glasses shape and the, well, the quite badly concealed amusement at his situation.

"To separate us from Patton," the duplicate explains wryly, adjusting the frames.

"I see." He crosses his arms. "Are there any other meaningful differences I should be aware of?"

"Unknown at this point."

"Are you aware of what the purpose of this—" he waves his hand— "exercise is?"

"The Doylist explanation is something along the lines of improving Thomas's metacognition, if I had to guess. It can be a useful course of action for any creative to see how their audience is reacting to their material and how it differs from their intended results."

"I see. And the Watsonian?"

"Perhaps something along the lines of a self-reflection day."

Logan sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, looking up in surprise when the duplicate chuckles. "What?"

"Self-reflection doesn't have to be scary," he says in a far gentler voice than Logan expected.

"I know that!" The duplicate gives him a knowing look, which is still too soft to be all together familiar, and it makes him hunch his shoulders. "What?"

"You don't have to lie to me, Logan. I'm hardly going to tell anyone else what happens here if you don't want me to."

"…you won't?"

"No. You have my word. Now," and he gestures to the desk nearby, "what is it you would like to talk about?"

Logan glances at him, at the desk, and slowly moves towards it. Perhaps…perhaps he shouldn't waste such an opportunity.

3.

"Oh, this is marvelous," Janus groans, stretching across the pillows underneath the heat lamp the Other him has in the corner of his room—something he wasn't going to be investigating the moment this was over.

The Other him chuckles. "Tell me about it. I wasn't surprised when you said you didn't have one."

Janus muffles a snort at the memory of the affronted expression the Other him had made when he'd seemed confused as to why they couldn't go lounge under his heat lamp for this conversation. "Well, unlike our beloved fans, Thomas hasn't spent the time creating all of our rooms for them to see, so it makes sense they've taken certain liberties with them."

"I see."

He frowns at the slight melancholy he can hear in his own voice—not a bizarre experience at all—and turns his head to see his own face staring off into the distance. He nudges him. "There's certainly a reason for you making us look so upset right now."

Other him gives himself a shake. "Sorry. I was…lost in thought."

"I can see that."

"I was thinking about our introduction," Other him says, far too soft and sweet for this moment, which sends a prickle down Janus's spine, "and how it…well."

"'Well,' what?"

Other him turns, the snake side of his face glistening in the light of the heat lamp in a way that doesn't make some of the scales look suspiciously wet. "How it could've gone better."

Janus scoffs, closing his eyes and luxuriating under the heat. "Speak for yourself, then. I'm not sure how the fans think everything went, but it's all worked out pretty well in the end, hasn't it?"

A pause, just a moment too long. "You don't regret anything, then?"

"What would there be to regret?"

"Perhaps how some of our dear friends were treated? How hurt Thomas became by the end of everything?"

"Do the fans really believe I'm this sappy?" He shakes his head. "They're all bigger fools than I imagined."

Another pause, long enough for him to drift into a sort of daze under the pleasant light of the heat lamp, but not long enough for him not to notice the way Other him shifts subtly away from him.

It doesn't sting, not even a little bit.

4.

Virgil stares at his clone. The clone stares back.

"This is weird."

"Yep."

"I don't like you."

"That's fine."

"Wanna sit in the same room on our phones and not acknowledge each other at all?'

"Works for me."

5.

"Kinky." Remus squirms in the arms of the giant Kraken—a little cliche, sure, but cliches are cliche for a reason and this beast is incredible— "are you going to hold me prisoner now? Take over my role as the One True Remus?"

"No." The fanon him sits down on the Kraken's head with an—ugh, serious expression. "We're gonna talk about how we treat our brother."

"Oh, for the love of Lucifer, I only beat him over the head once in canon! Why're you so upset?"

"Because you've not been sticking up for him? At all? When you know how easy it is for him to get hurt!"

"That's Roman's job in most of those stories anyway, he's there to get all huffy and bruised, like any Ego—" the arm squeezes him tightly— "ooh, harder!"

"That shit won't deter me and you know it."

He pouts. "It was worth a shot. Works a treat with the troublesome teacher."

"Logan would be far more receptive to an actual contract than just innuendo, but we can talk about that next. But let's start with the fact that you're still too insecure about your place in the canon to do anything other than harass everyone else."

"What? No, I'm not!"

"I might not be Janny but it's not a good idea to lie to me."

"Ooh, why not?" To which he promptly gets dunked under water and cleaned off. "Hey! Stop that!"

"Are you ready to listen to me now?"

+1.

Roman stares at the fan's idea of him. He stares back, before a slow and sad smile comes to his face and he opens his arms.

He barrels forward and collapses, sobbing into his arms.

"Shh, shh," he hears distantly, "it's alright. You're safe now. It's okay. I'm right here."

General Taglist: @frxgprince@potereregina@gattonero17@iamhereforthegayshit@thefingergunsgirl@awkwardandanxiousfander@creative-lampd-liberties@djpurple3@winterswrandomness@sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes@iminyourfandom@bullet-tothefeels@full-of-roman-angst-trash  @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind@demoniccheese83@pattonsandershugs@el-does-photography@princeanxious@firefinch-ember@fandomssaremysoul@im-an-anxious-wreck@crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch@enby-ralsei@unicornssunflowersandstuff@wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv  @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams@averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb @cricketanne @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws@cecil-but-gayer@i-am-overly-complicated@annytheseal@alias290@tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance@whyiask@crows-ace @emilythezeldafan@frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires@cyanide-violence@oonagh2@xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx@rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734@triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo@cerulean-watermelon@puffed-up-bees@meltheromanstan@joyrose-fandomer@insanitori@mavenmush@justablah65@10paradox10@uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous@cutebisexualmess@bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti@ultrageekygirl@raven1508

[papiliovolens]

HELLO (only answer if you want :3)

REMINDER TO DRINK WATER AND SIT OUTSIDE FOR 5 MIN OR SOMETHING

also if you are experiencing bad evil no good anxiety at night here are a few tips - think to yourself, "pal what are you talking about" - roll around on the floor - pls don't bite self, makes teeth sore (could be used as distraction???) - focus on feeling or stuff making you anxous - I recently got a galaxy ball nightlight. I like the stars and blabla. this has helped tons (TLDR get nightlight) - meditation - nighttime walk around the house - look outside, head empty idk man I stayed up way past my bedtime last night and now anxiety has come to reap my hard-earned peace (good excuse to stay up till 3 am to finish that 100000+(etc) word fic) thank you for existing and sharing your wonderful works of art for me/us to gobble up and sob over STTMH had become a little hyper fixation of mine.. and I'm really tempted to tear down the stupid art block to spill my imagination, but alas. I suck at drawing skeles. If I humanifiy them??? would you mind that??? i also only draw ladies very well cus for some reason the universe decided that for me oh drat I am rambling. THIS IS A REMINDER NOT TO ANSWER IF YOU DON'T WANT TO. thank you for getting this far???? o drat you make me smile. happiness please stay sorry for the long text, if this is invasive in any way, and for you to deal with my chronic apologizing problem also sleepy brain. i could go on forever :3

Hihi~! Your reminder to drink actually did remind me that I haven't drank anything in a while o.o

*summons water bottle and sips*

Thank you for the suggestions! ... I will admit I have never tried rolling around on the floor, despite that being something I would do. I'm gonna try it next time (and freak my family out at the same time 8D)

Staying up wayyy too late can def. be rough, hope you were able to get through it okay! I am so excited you decided to read through the whole thing, but please take care of yourself at the same time! :D

It should be an enjoyable experience, and bad health is a no no *nods sagely, ignoring the amount of chocolate i eat*

(๑>◡<๑) Oh my goodness you are so kind! I'm honored STTMH is a hyperfixation for you!

Of course you can humanify them! (I must add humanify to my dictionary) You can draw them as arguing dogs, you can change their gender, whatever you would like! While STTMH may depict characters in one way, you are free to depict them in your own! :D If my characters can inspire you to draw something whose only connection to sttmh is the idea of the characters themselves, i am overjoyed to aid your creativity ^^

Does that make sense? In general, go wild! STTMH is a sandbox for both you and me! :D

If you are rambling, I wonder what that makes me *stares at above paragraph*

We shall be ramblers together

We are the rambling team

(´,,•ω•,,)♡ I know I said this before but you are so nice, thank you! ^^

None of this was invasive, no worries~! If anything is, I will let you know! :D

[anonymergremlin]

Scars are a sign of something that doesn't need to be.

It's kinda another piece including the reader from "The stalker who never meant to be one." Message behind it can be seen as a little weird. Sorry not my best piece but I had to get it out of my mind. Love ya guys!

"Hey! What is this!?" [Name] said with panic in their eyes, holding one of Carlo's and one of Romeo's hands in their own. Inspecting the small cuts on their fingers. "How many times have I told you that you have to be more careful when you are practising with blades?" "Oh come on [Name], what do you expect us to do? It's the only way we can get ready for a career as stalkers," Carlo said, rolling his eyes and withdrawing his hand. "Hey hey, don't be like that Carlo. [Name] only means well, but really. It's part of becoming and being a Stalker," the blond young man replied to Carlo's words, placing his other hand on [Name]'s shoulder, "It's just a cut, though. Nothing too bad". "But… even cuts can get scarred if you don't look after them…" [Name] bit down on their lips to keep their other thoughts from leaking out. They didn't want to sound like know-it-all, yet they couldn't help themselves. [Name] respected their choice to become stalkers, if only it wasn't about them getting hurt if something went wrong. "Come on, don't look like that… hey [Name]," Carlo sighed before he approached. "I'm just getting started, just give me a little longer and you'll never have to worry about me getting hurt. The same is true for Romeo, for most of the time". The chestnut-haired young man stuck his tongue out at his pal, who just raised his eyebrow in response. "Yeah, yeah, whatever, Carlo. We'll see who comes out without a scratch next time…". Romeo turns his attention back to [name] with a gentle smile. "Think of it this way. Scars show that you were stronger than the pain. That you are still alive. I hope that this will bring you some kind of peace of mind, okay? Don't be afraid. We will make sure that you do not have to worry… you will never have to worry about us like that… Na-" "[Name]?"

They finally came to their senses. The feeling of the water beneath them, embracing their naked body. Already getting cold. [Name] slowly turns their head to the side, some of the droplets of water running down their face. Eyes focus on P, who holds out a clean towel. "Oh… I am sorry. I guess I was just in the middle of my thoughts again." Both of their hands land on the edge of the bathtub, pushing them up to stand. One leg after the other steps out of the tub. Their skin feels so cold right now. For a moment their eyes travels down their body, seeing all the scars left by being a stalker, covering their body like ornaments, unwanted ornaments. So many moments where they had been badly injured, moments where they should have died. [Name] shivers and swiftly lifts their eyes from their scars, only to meet P's blue orbs. The puppet looks concerned, pained by the sight of his lovers' scars. It was as if he could feel the pain that those scars had once inflicted upon them. "Don't worry P… this just proves that I was stronger than the pain. It shows that I am still alive." They try to cover up the pain they felt from saying those words, trying to remain strong. But then the puppet spoke.

"You…shouldn't have to feel like this…at all. You didn't need pain…to feel alive."

For a moment, their breathing stops. Tears find their way to the outside of their eyes. [Name] tries to hold them back, tries to smile the pain. But they can't do it. As he wraps the clean towel around their broken frame, they realise…

No pain is worth being scarred like this. No strength needs to be proven through scars. There are no scars that need to be inflicted on you to prove that you are alive.

[oceansprompts]

marvel's midnight suns | misc quotes 1

I will not be howling at the moon any time soon.

Have to say, for a haunted Transian Castle raised on the cursed grounds of Old Salem it's pretty cozy.

I really should up my homeowner's insurance.

You smell... wrong.

You know what they say. All work and no play... is how we ended up with Ultron.

We invented stealth.

I don't actually care, but they need to stop moping. So. Can they play with your dog?

Admit what? That I feel a sense of admiration and respect for a fellow teammate?

Yeah, I didn't figure someone so great and powerful would be into a book club.

You're hung up on the were-roosters... Alright, let's hear what you got.

Is this visit business or pleasure?

How’s your mental health? A good portion of this “darkness hunting” game is mental health and processing intense situations.

But, hell on Earth isn’t a garden stroll.

I’ve spent decades experimenting and putting it together. Any of ’em interest you?

I’m telling you. I don’t know what’s coming next, but I do know when the shit hits the fan with Chthon...

You’re acting like I did it for fun...

Comfortable? I’ll never be comfortable around that monster. . .

You’re turning out to be one of my favorite people. . .

Why do you think? They take vicious killers and present them as tragic and misunderstood.

It’s just... Off, somehow. I swear, the moonlight on a clear evening is too dim for this time of year...

Was your first thought about killing me?

What I’m asking is, if I lost control, would you stop me?

Let’s talk about how your mother just turned one of my best friends against us.

These people look to me for guidance, but it feels like I’m stumbling around in the dark.

Just the fact that you are willing to learn means you’re on the right track.

So how do I tell him I’m totally cool with being best pals without scaring him off...

It wouldn’t take many guards to secure the building. So the question is: What else are they doing in there?

It’s not big enough to swim laps. Its only real purpose is for lounging and soaking up the sun.

It figures she’d send you. Did she tell you I want nothing to do with it? Because I still don’t.

Every time I think I’ve got my mind wrapped around this conflict, I get thrown a curveball.

But right now? I want to let you know how proud I am to be serving alongside you and watching your leadership.

Maybe this is what we’re supposed to be doing, fighting an endless war.

What do you make of our chances to get out of this mess in one piece?

That’s an easy question with a complex answer. Tell me this–what type of leader would you follow?

I always did what I thought was right. No more, no less.

Well, not so much fish as that ginormous, invulnerable sewer monster that swallowed the Sanctum.

I’m told I can be rather persuasive when I need to be.

It’s all just starting to blur into one big giant green gamma mess…

I’m having it right now and-wait. I think… oh no. Did I feed my cat before I left?

Would you have been able to take the shot? Because I don’t think I could’ve.

I’m going to be up all night trying to make sense of it, see if it helps us find our way back into the Sanctum.

But the more I see him in action, the more I think he might be an okay dude.

I’m telling you if I have to spend one more hour scanning digital maps…

All you have to do is be ready to fight for what you care about when the time comes.

Yeah, I know. Nasty artifacts like that aren’t known for their safety features…

I have to admit, I don’t think you’d be such a formidable poker player. Yet another reason to respect you.

This is the life, licking it with the legendary Hero, and kicking said legendary Hero’s ass at a fighting game.

Believe it or not, I don’t have a lot peeps I can call friends, not close ones at least.

I feel like you get how just how heavy all that extra baggage…

Sadly, the sense of wonder eventually wears off like most things.

… Sorry if I’m ruining any romantic notions of space travel.

I’m not just my powers. Sometimes I like to take it slow…

I’ve tried blindfolds, facing away from the board, and one-finger throws. Perfect score, every time.

The forbidden nap, if you will. Mercenary work is a grab bag of awful stuff…

Because looking at it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

I can play nice all day when we’re out there kicking bad guy booty…

Uh, haven’t you listened to anything I’ve said? Money!

I forgot. You aren’t as self-aware as I am…

Well, your friends have been avoiding me like the plague…

He waved goodbye and peaced out to live a life of solitude…

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Watching a documentary on Edward II while I work and in this doc:

1. They repeatedly call Piers Gaveston Edward's "best mate" and "close friend", then have one seven-second acknowledgement that they were probably lovers before immediately returning to calling them pals, buds, just mates being dudes, my guys, just bros like bros will be, totally normal friendship here

2. Piers is not depicted as half so pretty as he likely was. He is handsome, yes, but very... dirty compared to everyone else? And also, dude, brush your hair. Come on. Piers Gaveston was famously not only arrogant but vain!

3. The actor playing Edward is playing this documentary dramatization like he is going for the motherfucking Oscar, he is amazing. I love him, my God someone give this man jobs and money!

4. They speak French! Just like everyone actually did!

5. Hugh Despenser has perfect hair, which seems in character

6. The documentary definitely doesn't admit the simple truth that Hugh Despenser the Younger was almost certainly Pretty Man Bait to get Edward II to give the Despensers power.

7. The doc DOES do a great job of showing what an absolute disaster Edward II was at basically everything forever

8. It does contain the most excellent line, "To the people of the time, Edward could have been bedding his priest, his page boy, and his horse, so long as he was governing the kingdom properly."

9. Isabella's actress is also incredible. That woman does some impeccable face-acting.

10. Man. The moral of this documentary - and of his life - should be "This man did not deserve the wild glory inherent in his amazing wife."

11. Now Hugh Despenser needs to brush his hair! Maybe Edward just likes 'em grungy.

12. Edward is the epitome of being shown exactly what he needs to do and then doing the opposite.

13. I am genuinely impressed at how carefully they dance around admitting that Edward was definitely up in Hugh Despenser's business, too. His manly business.

14. Wait, I take it back. The real moral of this story is "take a woman's children from her arms and she will burn you to the ground and spit on your ashes."

15. Honestly, I don't blame her.

16. THEY CALLED HER THE SHE-WOLF FOR A REASON, MOTHERFUCKERS.

17. Also, hell yeah for Isabella's brother the King of France working with her on this. He absolutely knew Isabella was being underestimated and he made sure he never did.

18. Oh, so we can admit Isabella and Roger Mortimer were sleeping together, huh? We can admit that? I mean as long as it's decently hetero, sure, let's have a whole sex scene. But God forbid we admit Edward and Piers might have held hands under a tree even once.

19. THEY PUT A SEX NOISE IN EVEN

20. Honestly now I'm mad.

21. "She has a number of men closer to a moderate house party than an invading force." Okay, that line redeems you somewhat.

22. Awwwww puppies hunting the disgraced king, sweet. I love when dogs are clearly checking for cues from their trainers just off screen.

23. A FIFTY FOOT GALLOWS SEEMS EXCESSIVE. Oh holy shit they hung him without quite killing him, then de-genitaled and- god damn, Isabella. This seems like a bit much.

24. SHE MADE A POINT OF EATING WHEN THEY CUT HIS DICK OFF.

25. Isabella is terrifying. I am in wild irrational love.

26. I'm sorry they put WHAT up Edward's ass. A red hot WHAT

27. I feel like that probably didn't actually happen but honestly, I don't doubt Isabella is capable of it. And also, um, these deaths seem... To send a message.

28. "Edward's wife and her lover-" oh, are you sure they're not just best mates? Buddies? Pals? Like Edward and Gaveston?

29. Oh he probably just like... was smothered. That makes way more sense. He could be "found dead" then and it could be claimed to be natural causes.

30. Underestimate pissed off French women at your peril, English kings.

[mad-hatter-memes]

ENA (Season 1) Quote Starters

Feel free to edit the quotes or change any pronouns

Auction Day

"Can't you hurry? We need to go find a spot!" "Today's item must be super special! What do you think it is? "I'm too stupid to even imagine anything..." "All your existential troubles will go away soon, okay?" "That dog looks like he has something to say, if you get what I'm saying!" "No no no, that was very weird, what is wrong with you?" "Was that a rain-rock I just felt?" "Oh shoot! They are going to cancel the auction!" "Darn, life is so unfair." "Rude! You should ask before doing that, you know?!" "I'm sorry...my stuppiness never ends..."

Extinction Party

"Salutations, Sir! May I please enter?" "I have some urgent information to communicate to my pal, [Character Name]" "Present a blood-sample at once!" "What now? Are you going to shoot me or something?" "Please speak to me through the body language of the gods." "You must be on a real special quest here today" "Could you direct me to the correct way to reach [Character Name]?" "Can't you simpletons lend me some privacy?" "Perhaps you shouldn't with an untrained mind like yours. You could die" "It looks like the fisherman became the fished, am I right?!" "Can you say ANYTHING that makes sense?!" "Everything here is so weird." "Are you drunk again?!" "I don't see anything here, you are making a fool out of me..."

Temptation Stairway

"Hey, [Muse Name]! Check out this neat trick!" "Look, there are already some people here" "I wanna go home..." "I don't like this party..." "I'm allergic to people!" "I keep hearing voices inside my head...they tell me to eat my veggies!" "I just had the bestest idea: We'll make a bet!" "Whoever reaches the top of [Location Name] and makes their wish first, has to pay the debts of the loser." "Pay your debts? That sounds awful..." "No way! The [Character Name] is here!" "The bet's on, now let's get 'em!" "I can't go on, I won't achieve anything!!!" "What conspiracies are we cooking on the menu today?" "Would you like to buy treats to remember this beautiful event?" "I'm horrendously sorry, but I've been assigned to a sacred mission and I ought to make haste." "I believe I'm in dire need of your services to learn my current whereabouts." "Well, how much longer until the next celebration?" "Go away, our [Character Name] is no longer giving out horoscopes!" "Why are you looking at the banana like that?" "Identify yourself you disgusting banana worshipper!" "You are all living a lie!!!" "Why is everyone punching me so softly today?!" "Quit the hitting and finish the job!" "It looks like I'm the best and you're the worst!" "...Where are we, anyways?" "Dearest chum, could I inquire how your physical form was able to reach this place in such a short duration of time?" "Would you kindly reveal the wish you made to me?"

Power of Potluck

"Could you be so generous as to sing me towards the fun?" "Aren't you entertained enough?" "Golly, you sound positively starved of fun!" "I...don't recognize this strain of joy." "Say, why all the tears? Aren't you supposed to be cheering?" "It seems I've lost my way to the next act, I'd rather not miss it." "You're up on stage, lady!" "Take your role and play out joy to all audiences!" "How could a chore like this jollify someone anywho?!" "What's the flavor of today's voyage?" "I sense that there might be a touch of exaggeration in your joy." "You have been coming here persistently-over and over." "You need not return here anymore..." "You were supposed to ring-rong the bell and run. Not enter the WRONG damn place!" "For the last time...It's called ring-rong run!!! Have you even played this before? "How fun was it inside anyways?"

[thoselethalarts]

M̷͖͎̾ͅat̶͔̽thia̷o̷ş̴͈͉̈́ N. P̸̧̐e̴rso̶ň̴̨̰̪̪͘al Stor̷̨̗͎̾̋̇͛̓͘y̴̧̱͖͔͇̱̍̅́̀̇

( R ) School Uniform: “Maybe It Was, Maybe It Wasn’t.”

(NRC: Interior Hallway 1F)

(There’s chatter and laughter as several students run down the hall and chase each other)

Riddle: You three! No running in the halls! Riddle: Good grief, there’s troublemakers everywhere you look today. Has no one in this school any sense of decency and order?

Matt: Howdy, Riddle.

Riddle: Good afternoon, Matt. Riddle: Are you waiting for someone? Loitering in the hallway is against the rules, you know.

Matt: Oh, yeah, I won’t be long. I’m jus’ waitin’ for my buddy Marcus. He’ll be outta class in jus’ a couple minutes.

Riddle: Very well. As long as you’re here with intent and not for a prolonged period, I’ll overlook it just this once. Riddle: If you’ll excuse me.

(Riddle walks away) (Footsteps quickly approach from the distance again)

Floyd: Heyyyyy~! Goldfishie! Floyd: Aw, wait… You’re not Goldfishie. You’re Rockfish.

Matt: Nice t’ see you too, Floyd.

Floyd: Ahhh, man~ I saw your hair from down the hall ‘n thought you were Goldfish. I got all excited to mess with him too, now I’m just bummed.

Matt: He was jus’ here, actually. Went down the hall into class A3.

Floyd: Wait, no kiddin'? Hey, thanks Rockfish! Floyd: If you’re lying though I’ll be back to wring your neck~ Ehe~

(Floyd takes off again down the hall)

Matt: Hm. A'ight. We'll see about that one, bud.

(Some time passes…)

Ruggie: Aaahhh~ this sucks. Where the hell did Leona go? Ruggie: He promised he was going to buy me lunch after I did all his chores for him today too. That bastard can’t evade me forever…

Matt: Howdy, Ruggs.

Ruggie: Hm? Oh, hey Matt. Ruggie: …Hey, actually, quick question for ya.

Matt: Shoot.

Ruggie: You wouldn’t happened to've seen Leona recently, would ya? Ruggie: I checked all his usual napping spots and I didn’t seen him anywhere. That bastard owes me big for leavin’ me with such a long laundry list of things to do for him today.

Matt: Oh, Leona? He’s out on the field right now, with the Magical Shift team.

Ruggie: Wha? Why would he be- OH CRAP! That's right, I forgot we’re supposed to be meeting early today!

(Ruggie takes off)

Matt: …“Hey, thanks for the tip-off Matt! You’re a real pal!” “Oh, for sure, Ruggs, ‘s no trouble at all.” Matt: Ah, whatever. Not my problem.

(More time passes…)

Sebek: MALLEUS! LORD MALLEUS, WHERE HAVE YOU GONE?! Sebek: Blast… The instant I take my eyes off him he vanishes…!

Lilia: Oh, calm down, Sebek, everything will be fine~ Lilia: If he doesn’t appear before the time has come, then I’ll simply stand in place for you. It’s really not a big deal.

Sebek: No… I’m sorry, but that’s just not good enough! Lord Malleus MUST attend this meeting himself! I cannot accept any substitutions! Sebek: LORD MALLEUUUUUUUUS!!

Matt: Ow. Can ya’ll maybe turn it down a couple notches over there?

Sebek: EXCUSE you?! Who do you think you’re talking so casually to?! Sebek: I am the royal bodyguard of Lord Malleus himself!! You would do well to know your place, human!

Matt: Yea? Looks like you’re a man short ‘a upholding that claim, buddy. The man with the name, himself, that is.

Sebek: Well that’s… Yes, it’s true. Lord Malleus has gone missing, and his presence is most direly needed within the hour. Sebek: And I, as his loyal bodyguard, must find him posthaste!

Matt: Yeah? An' what’s the occasion, exactly?

Sebek: Only an occasion of the most important kind! A rarity that hardly manifests but once in a blue moon upon these premises! Sebek: There’s going to be an exclusive, highly important viewing that involves myself and my fellow classmates! One that will provide refreshments of the highest quality and caliber, no less! Sebek: As an event such as this is so rare and so coveted, it is IMPERITIVE that Lord Malleus attends! I shall beseech him myself to attend such an honorable occasion-!!

Lilia: Oh, his class is having a snack party and a movie later as part of one of their studies, that’s all~ Lilia: He was given special permission to invite Malleus to accompany him. The film being presented is based on a play that retells the legend of the Queen of the Faeries, something very important to us from the Briar Valley.

Sebek: M-Master Lilia, please do not downplay the importance of this event! You’re making my intentions sound so… childish!

Matt: Uhhhh… huh. Right, I get the picture. Matt: Ya know if it’s Malleus ya want, I can tell ya where he is. 's no skin off my back.

Sebek: You WHAT?! You have such information and you’re willfully withholding it from us?!

Matt: Ya didn’t ask is all, partner.

Sebek: Wh- ...Very well, then where is he?!

Matt: Hmmm, lemmie see… Matt: …If I’m right, he’s on the rooftop balcony right now, the most northern side of the building, examining some gargoyles attached to the building. Silver’s with him too.

Sebek: Ahh! The rooftop, of course! I should have guessed Lord Malleus would be attending to his club research activities at this hour. Sebek: Many thanks! Your service to our highness is greatly appreciated and shall be remembered!

(Sebek runs off)

Lilia: Hm…

Matt: …? What’s up? Ain’t ya gonna follow him?

Lilia: Oh, don’t you worry, I can easily catch up to him regardless of how fast and how far he runs. Lilia: I’d just like to know, to satiate my own curiosity… how did you know that Malleus is where you say he is?

Matt: I just knew. What d’ya mean?

Lilia: Well, considering we’re on the first floor of a very large and complex building, with the rooftop several stories away, and with plenty of other floors lying between here and the balcony you say that Malleus is on… Lilia: I simply find it curious on why you picked that specific location. It seems plainly so that it’s not information that any ordinary person could have gathered so quickly and accurately, after all.

Matt: Yeah? An’ how d’ya figure that?

Lilia: Well, call it an old man’s hunch, but it seemed like when you closed your eyes you were not simply recollecting information but rather… doing something else. Lilia: Perhaps it was intuition that gave you his location, or perhaps you were able to track or feel out where he was. Lilia: If it was the latter that would be quite powerful magic, and certainly not something typical for someone of your age to wield so easily, I’d say.

Matt: Heh. Well, maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t. Matt: Maybe I did use magic to tell where he was, or maybe he just happened to pass by earlier an’ I asked him myself where he ‘n his pal Silver were up to at this hour. Matt: Regardless of what I tell ya, I can assure you that I ain’t usin’ that knowledge for no’ rotten deeds. Matt: I don’t care ‘bout Malleus, where he is, or what he does. I only got my heart n’ eye set on one person here, and that’s all.

Lilia: I see… so that’s how it is~ Then you and I are one in the same, I see. Here of our own volition for the sake of an important other. Lilia: Well, I’m sure your special certain someone is in good protective hands with a powerful you looking after him.

(The door beside Matt opens with a creak and a thud)

Marcus: Hey Matt. And… Lilia? Did I miss something?

Matt: Nahh, you’re all good buddy~ I’ve jus’ been waitin’ for ya t’ get out ‘n strikin’ up some conversation while I wait.

Lilia: Kuhuhu~ and what an interesting conversation it has been~ Lilia: I’d love to have another like it with you again, Matt, I think we both have some riveting tales to tell between the two of us~ Lilia: Anyway, I’d best be off. Until next time~

(Lilia disappears in a puff of green magic)

Marcus: …What the hell was that about?

Matt: Like I said, I’m jus’ strikin’ up a bit of conversation. Nothin’ to worry about~

/ End

[bktoons]

“Have a goodnight Jasmine,” her boss, Leonard said.

            “Goodnight” Jasmine said waving and smiling while walking out the door.

            She started walking on the sidewalk on her way to her apartment and about almost halfway home, she saw a kid in his late teens, sitting on the sidewalk smoking a cigarette.  This kid looked kind of up to no good and Jasmine wondered why someone like him would be out late at night.  She was a bit hesitant to walk pass him sort of hoping he would not make eye contact, but she started walking by him not looking at him.

            But then, the kid turned his head back towards her, became aroused by her, “How’s it going?” he asked.

            Jasmine stopped and turned around to him and said, “I’m good thanks, have a good night” not feeling quite comfortable talking to him.

            Just then, the kid got up and walked up to her and said, “You’re pretty,”

            Jasmine felt a bit confused and said, “Oh… thanks. Heh.”

            “You know,” the kid was saying, “the night is still early, how’s about coming to my place so we can chill or something?”

            “Uhh, no thanks,” Jasmine replied, “I have to be at work early tomorrow.”

            “Aw, just for one hour, we can have a few drinks”

            “No, no I can’t tonight, sorry,”

            The kid grabbed her arm, “Oh please, I think your hot”

            Jasmine started to freak out, “Please let go of me!”

            “No, not until you say yes,” then the kid smooched his lips ready to kiss her, but she pushed him away.  He got a bit upset, grabbed her and started, “Oh you bitch!  Come on! I wanna have sex!”

            Jasmine tried to get loose and cried out, “Help somebody! Help!”

            Meanwhile, Jet the rocket dog was walking along and overheard someone cried for help.  He used his powerful senses with his ear to locate the victim, and while using his goggles, like Robo Cop to track down Jasmine.  He saw her through his lens being grabbed by the kid.

            “Bingo,” Jet claimed and flew over in town to rescue Jasmine.

            When he got to town, he saw the kid grabbing Jasmine, he quickly landed on the sidewalk and told the kid, “Hey let her go!”

            “Who the hell are you?” the kid asked.

            “I am Jet the rocket dog, now release her!”

            “No mutt is going to give me orders, beat it dog!”

            “I’m gonna ask you one more time pal, release that girl,”

 “Up yours mutt!” The kid cried.

Just then, Jet came up to the kid, pushed him away.

“You bastard!” the kid claimed, then he grabbed his pocket knife, started running to Jet but Jet quickly did the so-called K-9 kick, where he rose in mid air and kicked the kid in the nose, knocking him to the ground.

“Stay away from her. You hear?!” Jet claimed. Then the kid got up and ran away bleeding from his nose.  “You okay miss?” Jet asked Jasmine.

Jasmine ran up and hugged him saying, “My hero!”

[yukiwrites]

Debts and Repayment

Thanks for the support as always, @authordgaster!

This is a C-A Support chain between Balthus and Seteth from Three Houses! Such a interesting duo, thanks for the opportunity to let me write about them~

Commission info HEREand HERE!

__________________________

C SUPPORT

Seteth: Balthus. A word?

Balthus: Hey there, pal. That’s three words. Done, right? See ya!

Seteth: Hold it right there.

Balthus: Wow, I wouldn’t have pegged your grip to be this strong, Seteth. Care for a match to settle things instead of whatever it is you wanna say?

Seteth: I will decline the offer, though it is as I suspected; you are aware of why I am here.

Balthus: Well, duh. You’re here to collect money, right? The debt I owe the church ain’t small so it was a matter of time until Lady Rhea sent you to me.

Seteth: You are right and wrong about that. I did not come to play a debt collector role even though I am quite aware of the dent you have made in the church’s coffers since your student days.

Balthus: No? Oh that’s a big relief. I didn’t wanna have to fight you and run away from Abyss after finally settling in for a bit.

Seteth: However, I am here to ask you the reason why you have not chosen to work as a hired hand for the church instead. You have done that in the past so you are aware of the amount you can earn.

Balthus: Sure, if I could earn all of that! You’ll take such a big cut outta the whole I end up with barely a coin to toss. I’d rather try my luck elsewhere to pay that debt, thanks.

Seteth: It would be honest work, regardless of monetary rewards, would it not? Haven’t you lived your life in the shadows enough? Now that you fight alongside law-abiding citizens, perhaps it is time to change your ways…

Balthus: Welp, what you say is true. I have been living as a vagabond for a long time.

Seteth: Excellent. I can have you outfitted—

Balthus: But that doesn’t mean I’ll enroll, pal. There’re many ways the King of Grappling can make a living, and being the church’s dog ain’t one of them. Don’t think too much about the debt, aight? I got it covered.

Seteth: *sighs* Must you behave this way? Will you truly not consider it? As you are now a classmate of my sister’s, I must make it so you do not wrongly influence her in any way.

Balthus: Ahh, so that’s what this was about. I did think it was fishy since you didn’t come at me with a weapon in hand demanding money.

Balthus: I know I’m a hard man to miss — which woman could not look twice when they see these?! Haha! — so I understand your concerns… I’m sure I left my share of heartbreak wherever I went.

Seteth: Wha—?! Flayn would never— How dare you suggest she would ever take a liking to- to you?! Preposterous! And even if she did, I would never approve of it. 

Balthus: Whoa there, overprotective much? No wonder the kid looks like such an easy prey; you haven’t let her live her own life!

Seteth: I will have you know I give her plenty of freedom! I care only for her safety and wellbeing.

Balthus: Sure, the freedom of a cage, yeah? I feel kinda sorry for her now. Don’t worry, I promise to play nice if it means you’ll give the kid some space. Are we done here?

Seteth: I—? … I suppose. I did not think you would agree so easily, so I apologize for my earlier outburst.

Balthus: No skin off my back, pal. But better keep your overprotectiveness in check or the kid’s gonna hate you for real.

Seteth: …

B SUPPORT (Unlockable after Seteth and Flayn B Support is attained)

Seteth: Balthus. I remember you said you would ‘play nice’? What part of playing nice means getting drunk at the local tavern at noon?

Balthus: Uh, in my defense, I’ve lived down in Abyss for so long I kinda lost the proper sense of time? It’s always dark down there, so any time’s a good time for a drink!

Seteth: …

Balthus: And there’s the death glare. You know I overhead something interesting a few days ago, should I share?

Seteth: By the way you are looking at me, I suppose I will not like this, will I?

Balthus: Not one bit, I’m sure.

Seteth: *sighs*

Balthus: So, does ‘Kindly keep out of my social business in the future’ ring any bells?

Seteth: !! You— What else did you hear? How long have you been eavesdropping on our conversations?!

Balthus: Whoa, easy there, Big Brother, no need to get aggressive. It’s not my way to go around listening in to people’s family meetings. I just so happened to pass by when I overheard that… Though by your reaction, it seems this runs deeper, don’t it? 

Seteth: Humph. I’ll thank you not to meddle in my family’s affairs. I hope this does not happen again, Balthus. If I catch you looming around my sister…

Balthus: See, there’s that, too, pal. What did she just tell you? Aren’t you reflecting even a bit? The kid needs some space and you ain’t giving it.

Seteth: I… do not need to hear this from you. I am reflecting well enough without you telling me. Is it too much to simply wish for her to be safe, happy and content at all times? She is my only sister.

Balthus: It kinda is, yeah. You can’t live a life without getting a bit dirty, you know? And I don’t even mean in that way.

Seteth: … Ahem. I am quite aware that it is foolish to expect to shield her from everything, but if I were to ever lose her…

Balthus: You gotta let her loose, pal. She’s your little sis so she’ll always have a spot at your side, won’t she? But if you keep holding her back like this, she’ll just hate you.

Seteth: …

Balthus: I’m not saying I’m a prime example of an older brother, seeing as I left my little bro to inherit the title and land back home, but overprotection ain’t the way.

Seteth: I do remember you hail from House Albrecht, though I know little else about it. So your younger brother is the reigning Baron? 

Balthus: Yep. You kinda look like how his mom was when we were kids, and this ain’t a compliment. Because I was born with a Crest and he wasn’t, she always thought that she had to ‘protect’ him from me, and shielded him from mostly everything else on the way. She would control who he met, what he did, where he went and what the professors would tell him in class. Sound familiar?

Seteth: … I am not so unreasonable.

Balthus: Not yet, you mean. My brother still managed to grow up well despite all that, but I figured me leaving would make her gaze turn to eliminating me instead of focusing on him too much. That worked well, hah! This scar was from the last ‘present’ she sent me a few weeks ago.

Seteth: What?! You were attacked within the Monastery’s walls? That breach in security has to be reported—

Balthus: It happened down in Abyss, don’t worry about it. Your little sis is safe here with all of ya’ll. But you’re missing the point again, pal.

Seteth: … Forgive me. I know you are trying to help, and I thank you for it. I confess I didn’t expect to find such wisdom in you.

Balthus: Harsh! Hah!

Seteth: Heh.

Balthus: Nice, now we’re loosing up. Think about it, eh, pal? If you need more ‘wisdom’, you know where to find me!

Balthus leaves.

Seteth: … Surely I won’t look for wisdom at the pub, but I thank you for the new perspective regardless.

A SUPPORT

Balthus: Hey, pal!

Seteth: Balthus.

Balthus: I noticed your grip on little Flayn’s gotten a bit loose lately, that’s good!

Seteth: … I did not have a ‘grip’ on her, but yes, I have done my share of reflecting, much of it was thanks to you.

Balthus: No prob, pal. I’m kinda in the same boat so I get where you’re coming from. Taking care of a little sister in a world filled with trash men sure is hard.

Seteth: Oh? I was not aware you had a sister as well.

Balthus: Well, not my sister, but since she’s my best friend’s sis, she might as well be! You know her — it’s Hilda.

Seteth: Ah. I did hear you and her brother were on good terms. I did not imagine you were so close as to share such a familial bond.

Balthus: Yeah, he asked me to protect her, so that’s what I’m doin’. Any guy who wants to get on with her will have to go through me first!

Seteth: *nod* I understand completely. No unfitting scoundrel will get his hands on my sister on my watch.

Balthus: You know it, pal. But in moderation, yeah? Don’t be a control freak like my step-mom…

Seteth: Ahem. Of course.

Seteth: You mentioned your stepmother, so you are not the official heir to House Albrecht?

Balthus: Nah. Kinda? It’s complicated. You know Kupala? It’s a village up Fódlan’s Throat, so hidden away people think it doesn’t actually exist.

Seteth: I’m afraid I do not recognize the name.

Balthus: Didn’t expect ya to. My mom’s from there, but she left. It didn’t go well and she was rescued by my dad. Bam! Love at first sight and they married. But he’s a noble and she wasn’t, so he had to marry another noble to continue on with the family line. Problem was, my brother wasn’t born with a Crest, so although I wasn’t the ‘official’ son, I’m the one who had the most ‘potential’ to be the heir.

Seteth: I had no idea…

Balthus: So my mom went back to Kupala ‘cause she couldn’t handle all those noble intrigues and what not, you know? I left a while later to give my brother some space and there we have it. I’m planning on going back home to protect my mom once this is over, though. My step-mom’s attacks have stopped since the war, but I’m scared she might be looking for my mom to retaliate.

Seteth: Would she do such a thing?

Balthus: I wouldn’t put it past her, to be honest. Anyway, what did you have in mind to do after the war? I just told you my plan, so be a pal and share yours, too.

Seteth: I will remain at Garreg Mach and help Byleth rebuilt what’s left of the Church and of Fódlan. I could not shirk away from such a duty after helping them play such a pivotal role in the war.

Balthus: Uh-huh. Nice. And after that?

Seteth: After… I’m afraid I don’t know. I want to take Flayn somewhere safe so we live out our lives at peace, for a change. Although she demanded me to stop fretting over her after the war ended, it’s easier said than done.

Balthus: I wanted you to say that. Say, why don’t you go to Kupala with me? It’s a village so out of the way, I don’t think people can find us there unless they try really hard. Besides, I already offered little Lysithea and her folks a spot there, so why not call you and Flyan in, too? The more the merrier, right?

Seteth: That’s… is quite a generous offer. But why would you make such a promise to Lysithea’s family, as well?

Balthus: Ah, I owe them my life. I figured I could repay their kindness the same way they showed it to me, so there you have it. Consider yourself formally invited too, pal!

Seteth, smiling: … Very well. Thank you for the invitation, Balthus. I very well may take you up on that.

Balthus: Nice!

Balthus: Does that mean my debt to the church is pardoned—

Seteth: This and that are completely different matters.

Balthus: Dang. Worth a try, at least. Haha!Seteth: Heh.

[dianneking]

20 Author Questions

Tagged by the lovely @weemssapphic - thank you so very much for that!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? - 37

2. What's your total AO3 word count? - 175,030

3. What fandoms do you write for? - Gwendoline Christie, some other characters in the Wednesday fandom too.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? - Surprising Like Good Coffee on a Bad Day, Shapes of Love, First Evening Back, Intoxicated, Entwined Destinies.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? - Yes. I try my best to get to every comment because I love love love the community that builds around shared interests. Also, time is such a rare commodity these days that if you take the time to let me know what you thought of my writings...we're already pals.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? - Oh, that's easy, Loving You for sure. The whole premise is hurt no comfort so yeah. Read this at your own risk.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? - Hmmmm I feel the one I went in most detail about the happy ending was Surprising Like Good Coffee on a Bad Day, it was extra fluffy and funny and I find myself smiling just thinking about it.

8. Do you get hate on fics? - As of now, not yet. Hopefully it'll stay that way.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? - Yep, at times. As for what kind, depends on the story, but mostly at least somewhat kinky.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? - I love a well executed crossover soooo much. For now, I've only written New Teacher In Town, a Larissa Weems x Melissa Schemmenti (Abbott's Elementary) oneshot, but I do have others I'd like to try my hand at.

11. Have you ever had a fiction stolen? - Not that I've noticed. I only write on AO3 and Tumblr, so if you see my fics somewhere else, please tell me - it's probably stolen.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? - Not yet!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? - Not yet published, but I might have something in the works... isn't that right @scream-queenlover?

14. What's your all-time favorite ship? - Errrrr difficult to say tbh. I like to change and to make different ships work. I like Gwen's characters paired with almost anyone ever. I like the challenge of making it work and surprising readers with them.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? - I don't ever let go of WIPs. They are just biding their time. I have some requests in my inbox from January (if it's yours, I'm so very sorry) but also, the feeling of writing the right fic when you want to write it is something that is so good I just don't want to do an uninspired shoddy work of them. Their time to shine will come.

16. What are your writing strengths? - I am a very logical person, so I like to build my characters so that they make sense, so that their actions and reactions have some meaning and some depth. Also. I loooove to write gut-wrenching angst and I feel like it shows.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? - They change with time and with the fic in question. Right now, to sit my ass down on a chair and write is my greatest challenge. Also, I feel like most of my oneshots are a lot of the same, and that kinda bothers me.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? - All for it if I can find a native speaker that betas me on that.

19. First fandom you wrote for? - Well, I wrote an angsty fanfiction of an Ideal Husband before knowing what fanfiction was, so I guess that was my first fandom.

20. Favorite fic you've ever written? - Hmmm. Surprising Like Good Coffee on a Bad Day has a special place in my heart because it was my first one, but also I feel so proud of Unrelenting Love (Madeleine) not even quite sure why but I really love the way it came out.

If you see this and you are an author, that's it! You're automatically tagged! And please, do tag me in your post because I am so very curious!

[mushtoons]

WDYM NO PHONE GUY HE WAS LITERALLY AFTON WHEN HE WAS MASQUERADING AS STEVE THE CAREER COUNSELOR /LH

The tail end of the call when he was giving the rundown was playing over the first few shots of Mike in the pizzeria sczjfDuaoyclj

Also!! The very intro was the previous guard I thought?? He had a completely different face shape + was clean shaven

I also don't remember a scientific possession explanation beyond the bodies being inside the animatronic?? There was 0 mention of remnant or whatever the soul juice metal is called which /was/ the scientific explanation in fnaf canon I thought...

Also also I thought there were tons of refeences beyond the cameos.. the whole dream theory book felt like a gentle poke at matpat and there were tons of small easter eggs in the set, but I caught most of those in the security office. (Bonnie plush, It's Me after the first ghost appearance in Mike's dream written on the mirror, in game celebrate poster on the wall, someone else did in fact catch the desk fan) (others included the guy who got mauled by the cupcake having a midnight motorist t shirt, Chica obviously being the one to go to the kitchen, golden freddy kid was the only ghost in a striped shirt, I think the lightbulb flickering when Abby was walking through the welcome arch was Morse?? Way too uniform lengths there). I will admit I am very sad no one booped Freddy's nose :(

I also wouldn't be surprised if they're saving more characters for potential sequels.. I did miss the puppet and I dont think I caught any of the paper pals anywhere :((

And so sorry you didn't say you were upset with the creative liberties!!! It's just what I've seen other people upset over (most often making Vanessa an Afton) and so they were my first guess which is consequently why I was confused. For no reason I see now lmao. Assumed wrong ><

NOPE NOT OUR PHONE GUY WE DONT CLAIM /lh /silly ITS NOT THE SAME AND U KNOW IT

oh damn was it? we didn't notice, our bad if it was someone else, we assumed it was mike cuz it lined up i mean why else would he be there in that exact moment, but we're too lazy to look it up to see so we're gonna take ur word--

and yeah vanessa was explaining it during the patch up scene we're pretty sure cant remember the exact place she went off on that tangent tho cuz tbh nearing the end we were losing interest djfjfj

and yeah! most of those we caught, except the morse code one didnt know that one but we'd have loved more yknow? we were really hoping for like shadow bonnie or anything in the background something, anything fun

and we're pretty sure there's gonna be a sequel, the end credits (after the living tombstone 💕) was literally the music box playing and we seen the code at the end was binary and translated into come find me so we're like 98% positive there's gonna be a sequel

and nah we didn't mind that, was kinda surprised but also not really yknow like for the movie plot it made sense

[trannydean-moved]

okay so i have already talked about when, in the hunter!jaime au, jaime (who was like almost 14 atp) sneaked himself along on a hunt with john, sam, and dean. i didn't have a monster picked out for them to hunt, so i've now decided it was a vamp hunt, and it scared jaime pretty badly. traumatized him prolly. so he just really does NOT like vampires after that. he does hunt em but he's not like gordon, super angry at them, he's just scared of them. fast forward to idfk, pre-s8, prolly somewhere in s7. jaime gets turned into a vampire and fucking hates it so so badly. he's so scared of himself. he prolly tells sam and dean to kill him so many times but they're both like "NO we'll cure you goddammit". well they don't catch the vampire who turned him in time, and jaime ends up getting killed. (haha imagine how awful it was for dean to watch jaime get decapitated) jaime goes to purgatory. i want him to meet up with benny and at first be scared af of him. "bro what is your problem" "i'm scare of vampires!!!" "...you're a vampire?" "shut up :(" but they end up teaming up and being pals. maybe more than pals. bc dean and jaime have the same taste in men. bc it'd be funny for dean to be jealous and then join the polycule. and then cas come and be MEGA jealous lmao. anyways so one day jaime and benny hear a baby crying. and jaime's like "am i going crazy or do you hear crying" and benny confirms he hears it too, and then jaime catches the scent and is like "OH... I KNOW THAT SMELL" "you do?" "dean..." "that's dean? the dean you've been talking about the entire time since we met" "noo no that's not him. that's his scent tho... OH I KNOW WHO THAT IS" and they go to find a 3 day old emma. and benny's like "dean had a monster child?" and jaime's like "it's a long story. ig emma is my baby now" so boom jaime's got a baby to take care of.

and when dean gets put in purgatory i'm pretty sure the other monsters could sense humans being in there? so everyone can sense dean in there? and jaime's like "omg we have to find him it's dean!!!" and benny's like "yeah i was gonna say we should look for the human anyways" and benny tells him about the way humans can get out of purgatory (idk the details yet so i'm sorry if any of this ends up inaccurate) and jaime's like "OH RAD" and so they go to find him. and they save dean from that other vampire. dean is sooo surprised to see jaime with a baby in a makeshift baby carrier.