#and then i cannot share that art the moment it's done

[genderfluid-draws]

watch this space tomorrow 👀

[caluette]

the truth

[mylight-png]

I have thoughts in regards to That Photo of Shani Louk receiving an award.

But first, I'd like to address something I've seen in our community about how the situation has been handled.

Many people I've seen have been sharing their anger and pain in regards to the photo and the award, rightfully so. However, many of these people have shared those thoughts alongside That Photo. While I understand the intent of this, I'd like to just ask for people to not do that.

Do not distribute That Photo in any way, please.

Shani Louk's family has asked for that photo not to be shared. Her family has asked for her to be remembered for her life, not her death.

Instead, I encourage you to share your views alongside a photo of Shani from her life. Share her as she lived, not as she died.

Let Shani's memory be who she was, not what was done to her.

Now, I know there's little I can say about the photo and award that hadn't already been said. I'd like to talk about it anyway.

First and foremost, receiving an award for photographing a woman being subjected to the worst a person can endure is disgusting. That award was given for taking a picture of a woman who has been raped and killed, and of her body continuing to be violated and paraded around. Not for protecting her, not for intervening, not for doing anything to help anyone.

Additionally, as I mentioned before, Shani's family has asked for that photo not to be spread around, and the resurgence in publicity that this photo is getting as a result is a direct blow to the family's wishes.

In that photo, for the purpose of that photo, Shani is used as little more than a prop. It is dehumanizing and violating. It is beyond that, but I cannot even come up with words to articulate how horrible it is.

I'm sure we've all heard the phrase, "people love dead Jews" at this point. This photo receiving a major award is simply confirmation of this. This photo, a photo of a dead Jewish woman, receiving such a highly esteemed award, proves this. I am sick to my stomach just writing about it.

There is nothing about that photo that would merit an award and it tramples upon Shani's memory and dehumanizes her even further than she already has been.

In protest of that award, I encourage you to share photos of her that aren't of her lowest moment.

Share photos of her life, share photos of her art. Do not share photos of her death.

Here are some photos I am choosing to share:

You can find these photos online, there's a whole Instagram account dedicated to sharing photos of her life. The first and last photos are from an article about her art being put up in an exhibition. These photos are out there, just find and share them please.

May her memory be a blessing and may it be protected from further desecration.

[crimson-and-clover-1717]

The Erasing of Ed’s Personhood (again).

Some interpretations of Stede and Izzy during the Rhys and Con Q&A at SFROP didn’t sit well with me.

There’s sexual frisson between Stede and Izzy in the candle scene

What canon shows: That Stede flatters Izzy into mentoring him in a similar way Ed uses flattery in 104 when telling Izzy he could be the Captain of the Revenge. It’s knowing your audience and what motivates them. But this isn’t flirting on Stede’s part. It’s emotionally intelligent leadership.

This alleged sexual frisson takes place immediately after Stede has found Ed, the love of his life, whom he has been desperately trying to find for months. For whom he has willingly given everything up. Stede cannot see another man for Ed. Stede’s whole love and sexual awakening is built around Ed. He’s Ed-emotional, Ed-sexual.

And we’re meant to believe the moment Stede is out of Ed’s presence - Ed, who has massive trust issues - that there’s a mutual homoerotic moment between Stede and Izzy, because Izzy has his shirt off and Stede says some dubiously flattering things? It’s reductive towards Ed and mocking of his character. It’s actually an incredibly cruel interpretation. It isn’t the show. It. just. isn’t. the. show.

Izzy is a good mentor to Stede

What canon shows: Stede ‘being the captain’ by asking Izzy to mentor him. Stede is putting into practice ‘keep your friends close and enemies closer’ by trying to give Izzy a role. The devil makes work for idle Izzy Hands, so keep him busy. But punching someone in the stomach, yelling at them, and telling them they have such a total lack of skills you don’t know how they’re still alive… when they rescued your sorry ass two nights previous!…does not a mentor make. And Stede doesn’t learn anything useful really. I mean at least he learned something that saved his life with Ed even if it was through flirting. The fact Stede also seems to enjoy some of Izzy’s approval doesn’t make Izzy a good mentor either. It makes Stede someone who is still wrestling with his identity, and reconciling differing aspects of his masculinity. Stede’s parental trauma causes him to attach too much significance to it.

That Stede and Izzy caused Ed’s decline and have equal responsibility for fixing the man they both love (this one boiled my piss).

What canon shows: Ed is devastated by Stede not turning up at the dock. Ed then processes some of this in a reasonably healthy way — curling up under blankets, eating marmalade, writing doggerel, talking to a friend, crying, showing pain publicly, exploring shared feelings, making a plan to feel better through art (singing), and tidying up his room. Ed is attempting to put into practice Stede’s philosophy: beauty, aestheticism, art as therapy, open emotions, talking it through.

We can’t know what would’ve happened next because the narrative doesn’t bend that way, but without Izzy’s intervention, what Ed doesn’t do is fall into the Kraken spiral. Ed is pretty much forced to a shuddering emotional halt, mid-catharsis - that in itself causes further trauma. Many therapists will tell you that stopping emotional work suddenly can be worse than never beginning at all. On top of that suppression, Ed now fears harm might be done to him should he appear weak. To say Stede and Izzy are equally responsible for Ed’s Kraken spiral is just not true.

Second, Ed isn’t an object to be fixed. Ed isn’t something to be moulded or unfolded. Ed isn’t the exotic plaything of two white men. Ed isn’t a toy or cipher or prize to be won between a bourgeois hero and some proletariat antagonist. Ed really just needs to be left the fuck alone so he can develop some self-actualisation. Let him try his innkeeper dream and fail. Let him see the world doesn’t end when he does. I truly believe Stede is the only individual who can give Ed the room and psychological safety to explore a range of human emotion and identities, as well as providing that soft place to fall when Ed inevitably needs it. And it isn’t even that Ed needs to fix himself. He just needs to be allowed to breathe and be and exist in all his human messiness, judgment-free, fear-free.

That Stede’s crying as Izzy dies shows how much he has grown to care about Izzy, that there is mutual respect, and Stede is left devastated.

What canon shows: That Stede CRIES! He cries all of the time. And I have championed this over and over. He cries in 13/18 episodes. He makes it safe for others to cry. Crying is Stede’s superpower. It helps him process emotions healthily. Stede, I believe, is crying when Izzy dies for the following reasons:

Because he’s Stede

Because he’s the Captain and he didn’t get everyone out alive (doesn’t matter the great Israel Hands can’t check a pocket for weapons).

Because Ed is devastated, and Stede loves Ed

Because Stede isn’t a colossal prick. He says ‘poor bugger’ towards Chauncey moments after escaping execution. Stede’s an empath. Stede understands the pity of it all. Stede can see the intrinsic value in most people, even Izzy. That doesn’t tell me anything about Izzy, but everything about Stede. And it doesn’t make Izzy special to Stede. It makes humans special to Stede.

Why these misinterpretations upset me so much is what it does to the validity of Ed’s characterisation. The idea there’s a sexual ‘knowing’ behind Ed’s back between the two white guys which they choose not to act upon because they decide to work together to objectify and ‘fix Ed’ instead. The idea that Izzy is a better mentor and influence than Ed. The objectification of Ed as a thing to be fixed then won. The appropriation of Ed’s emotional confusion over Izzy’s death being overlaid onto Stede also. Because Ed can’t have his own unique character arc in anything it seems. I just want Ed’s characterisation and personhood to stop being erased.

I’m still sleep-deprived so I hope this makes sense. It’s taken me a while to process.

[stickynotelovers-art]

All done with lines and now onto my favorite part of the process; coloring! This is when the comic really starts to feel its making progress for me! This is also one of the more tedious portions. I can deal with the lines being on the messier side, but coloring I cannot. I spot all the little holes in my stuff where I missed coloring and it gets on my nerves even knowing that I can't always prevent! After this is smaller details and effects (like their marks and Donnie's holo-visor) and dialog. This should, hopefully, go a lot quicker.

Also, I know I haven't really been posting anything besides updates for this, but this is my sole drawing focus at the moment. After this, I'm going to try and work on multiple things, including the Eventually chapter 4 and different fandoms related art.

Final thing is I've been meaning to share my rottmnt spotify playlist for a while and I might as well share it now!

Hope you guys can enjoy it and if you have any song suggestions, feel free to share! C:

[bwat5-blog]

No Matter How The World Tries To Break You: Revisiting Vi's Loss

** Spoilers for all of Arcane**

"Vi is such a crap sister"

"Vi let Jinx die"

"All she had to do was move, she refused to listen to Jinx even after everything she did!""

"Jinx is gone because Vi couldn't let Vander go"

**This is sort of a return to one I've already done but with some updated thoughts and more of a complete picture, so if you read my stuff you have probably heard most of this**

In the weeks since the show ended everyone has been sharing their reactions, fan-art and fiction, trading theories and asking questions. It has been truly wonderful to be a part of. And my understanding and appreciation of these characters and their story has only grown thanks to this community.

However, certain things have also persisted. Things that I simply cannot wrap my head around. One of which, is the amount of people suggesting that in that last moment between the sisters and what used to be their father Vi failed. She faltered, "letting her trademark refusal to let go of the past cost her sister her life" (hypothetically)....

They dismiss or disdain her heart and refuse to consider it in their judgement. But to dismiss Vi's heart is, first of all to dismiss a massive part of her story, but it also to dismiss her humanity. And it is the humanity of Arcane that makes this story what it is. And so as I have in bits and pieces across other posts, we are going to take another very quick look at what she has been through, and keeping that in mind, discuss that tragic moment between the former family and why she can't move off of that platform.

A Barebones List of Vi's Suffering: No discussion of blame or right or wrong just what happened.

Age 9-

Witnesses the death of her birth parents and several of their people at the hands of Enforcers

Age 15-

Has spent years living in harsh and dangerous Undercity (think back to the fight with Deckard if you need reminding.. "wanna see how that ends")

Witnesses violent deaths of Mylo, Claggor, and Vander. All after coming so close to saving them and fighting off armed thugs all on her own.

Parted from Powder in way that leaves massive amount of guilt and fear for her little sister's well being

Kidnapped and thrown into prison with out cause

Age 15 to Age 22-

Seven years in Stillwater prison. Abused, assaulted, completely deprived of love and kindness and hope.

Age 22-

Stabbed and beaten by Sevika after being told her sister was Silcos daughter

Narrowly escapes Silco's ambush in her old child hood home, having to bring it down to get away

Reunited with sister to find she is unstable and dangerous, taken from her after barely any time together when Vi is knocked out

Almost killed by sister on same bridge where their parents died. Surrounded by victims of her sisters bombs

See's Zaunite boy killed during she and Jayce's raid on shimmer plant

Almost killed by Sevika again during fight, knocked out and abducted by Jinx after she wins

Her long lost beloved sister who has clearly become someone very different, offers to be who Vi wants her to be if Vi will just murder the innocent woman she has come to have feelings for. Vi stops Caitlyn from shooting at Jinx trying desperately to keep them both safe, sees Caitlyn violently knocked out, is then almost killed by Silco before Jinx saves her, but kills Caitlyn's mother.

She is willing to hunt Jinx down, but Caitlyn asks her to wear the uniform of the people who killed her parents

Survives the memorial attack in which Caitlyn was almost killed as well.

Agrees to become an Enforcer: Compromises her principles, doing violence in the streets of her home. Readies herself to kill her sister.

Realizes after giving up on and almost killing her sister that she IS still in there.

The woman she loves, who she put on the uniform for, tells her she is no different than her sister, hits her, and leaves her.

Age 23-

Spends several months totally alone in self-destructive spiral in which she has given up

Gets Vander back but he is in mutated form

Loses Vander in extremely violent fashion only a short time later

Loses Isha violently

Almost killed by explosion saving Jinx's life

Left behind by Jinx after going to free her

Fights in terrible battle in which for just one example of the death she saw Lorris riddled with arrows

Okay. that brings us back to the incident in question. Now, I don't know about all of you. But I read that list, and then look at the twenty-three year old woman trying to hard to protect the people she loves, and my heart breaks for her. That amount of trauma and loss is staggering. So when Violet stands over the prone body of what was once her father, she doesn't respond to jinx calling about the platform failing. She doesn't speak... she doesn't respond.... her whole world is centered around Vander's prone form, and when she falls to her knees we see what she is seeing.

Her father, the man who raised them when Felicia and Connal were killed. She sees the night he died in her arms the first time. When she was only fifteen... It has come be my belief, that Vi was experiencing what is sometimes called a "Dissociative Flashback" related to PTSD born of the horrific life she has lived.

** DISCLAIMER: I AM IN NO WAY A MEDICAL HEALTH PROFFESIONAL. THESE ARE THE OBSERVATIONS OF A FAN BASED ON RESEARCH AND BELIEF ONLY***

At the very basic layman's level, (because that's all I understand anyway) all of this trauma has culminated in a flashback where Vi is not able to process what's going around her, because her mind is locked in that terrible night all those years ago where she lost her entire family. She can't see the platform crumbling, she can't hear her sisters desperate calls. And it's not until what used to be her father tries to kill her, that her mind is ripped back into the present moment. And it's not the Vi we know... it's the Vi we knew. She blocks his first hit, but then.. she doesn't fight. She crawls back confused and afraid, and when she calls his name she sounds for all the world like a young girl who doesn't understand why her father is hurting her. This is a terrible, tragic moment in which we are seeing this incredibly resilient young woman just finally have enough. It's heartbreaking, and it is in that moment when she is more vulnerable than she has ever been, that the little sister she found her way back to saves her life.

As I said it my discussion on Caitlyn earlier tonight, this is not about favorite characters. This is not about liking or disliking Vi's arc either. This is about empathy and understanding. It is about seeing the humanity in this twenty-three year old woman who has been so strong for others her whole life, laid low and needing someone to stand for her. And so to those of you who feel targeted by this post, I am not questioning you for not liking Vi. That is your right. But perhaps if you cannot see the heartbreaking humanity in this moment, you should begin to ask yourself some questions.

Keep standing up for the stories that matter, because that my friends, is how they endure. Thank you for reading, see you all next time.

[dock57]

[I would not share anything from Patreon unless other wise it was posted publicly such as this page from the Official Monkey Wrench Tumblr page. So why am I sharing it? Because it gives me a chance to talk about something else I love about this series! Well, more about Zeurel's style itself. So for anyone who has Patreon access, you can actually find LOTS of these comic pages that Zeurel has done if you scroll far enough into the Patreon's feed. Its under the year 2021. (I had a bit too much time on my hand that night...) Really I never seen an art style like this. I just want to take a moment and appreciate the style. The style is what really drawn me into this series. Its different, unique, has such diversity and attention to details.

Of course for an animated series, you need to cut back on details to well, save your fingers from animating all of that, but even the show itself still contains a lot of details, just in the places where it needs to be. Back to the comic page itself, MW's style or Zeurel's style, is such a refresher to today's styles in animation and comics. I always like to describe MW to be like a Love Letter to 90s and early 2000s cartoons. its everything I used to love in those shows of that time but well, better. As in, a refining to what used to make some of those shows really lovely for their time. As for myself, what I really love is the diversity and shapes to this style. Its a style I cannot pin point as to what describes it. But definitely something I feel like I been missing for such a long time. Each character has their own unique silhouette, shapes, and overall traits or design elements that give you an idea of who or what that character might be when it comes to who they are in personalities. Really the MW style has become my top in inspirations for art styles. This is what I been looking for so long]

[witch-and-her-witcher]

2024 Fic Writer End of Year Roundup

Answer and then tag three or more creators to keep the game going! Thank you to everyone who tagged me and have had me in their inspo sections, I adore each and every one of you!

1. How many words did you publish on AO3 in 2024?

518,691 (hoping to add another 3-4k to this before midnight hehe)

I CANNOT drop that number without thanking the fucking dream team who has read EVERY SINGLE PUBLISHED WORD of mine: @popjunkie42 and @climbthemountain2020. From cheerleading, to pumping the breaks when my run ons be running, I appreciate the ever-loving hell out of both of you. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Honorable mention betas who hold up that number: @cauldronblssd, @wilde-knight, @thesistersarcheron, and @rosanna-writer. I truly appreciate every one of you babes and your critical, brilliant eyes on my self indulgent streams of thought.

2. How many fics did you complete this year?

21! 13 of those were one shots.

If I can be real, I have two multi-chapter WIPs sitting in my docs, but it felt too irresponsible to post those once I started getting buried in grad school.

3. How many in progress or ongoing fics did you start this year?

Heading into the new year, I have 2 in progress fics: Ruin Me for the Fourth Wing fandom and Who's Gonna Know You Like Me? for ACOTAR.

4. What was your favorite thing you wrote?

Any of my poly fics! I really have to thank @acourtofladydeath for her beautiful brain child @polyacotarweek for getting me into the poly mind set. Although I only wrote throuples for that week (and since aside from the background Nesta/Eris/Azriel/Cassian in Who's Gonna Know You Like Me?), I am interested in writing more complex poly pairings in 2025.

I also can't leave out @yanny-77, @copperfirebird and @hockeyspiral23 for supporting the violaiden obsession! I adore writing the three of them together so so much and it's so fun to have others to share the brain rot with!

5. What piece was your most experimental or different from your usual style?

I had never done a true canon rewrite before dripping in gold! It was so so fun taking an in text scene and making it queer as hell.

6. Did any fics surprise you - either while writing or their reception?

It's undeniable that A Court of Chaos and Darkness's reception took me by surprise. From the moment I couldn't shake the concept of the fic to the over one hundred kudos it received before I took it off of anon. But even more so, the absolute comfort blanket this fic was as I wrote it was shocking. Something in the healing occurring, in the recognition of the complexity of parenting and the messiness of the parent/child relationship really struck me.

The fic @revenge??? I love you filthy azris lovers. This was an outlet for some of my dating app blunders and shenanigans and you all really said "serve."

And then there's my first omegaverse fic and the first of it's kind in the Fourth Wing ao3 tag (when it was posted, I believe there's several more now!): so what now? The Fourth Wing fandom has been warm as hell and so inviting to me, but you have all really embraced me bringing weird into the tags and I just can't thank you enough as I gape at the stats.

7. Do you have a fic you wrote and loved that went under the radar? (This is your sign to reblog/repost it!)

Either of my sapphic fics: dripping in gold (genderbent feysand) and lunch. (morlain ft the mommy kink tag!)

8. Who is an artist that inspired you?

There are so, so many talented artists that inspire me! @thrumugnyr, @copypastus , @queercontrarian and @lucychanart have been my muses for all things Tamlin. @climbthemountain2020 and @wilde-knight are triple threats and their art brings me such joy! There's also @dustjacketdraws that always has primo Cassian and Nesta vibes!

9. Who is an author that inspired you?

There are SO many. First and foremost, my babe @popjunkie42. I love you, my muse. Something about reading your writing and just chatting with you inspires all of my ideas to flow. @asnowfern is another muse and writer I can always turn to for inspiration, we were just recalling her Turning Darkness Into Light elucien spooktober fic that tickles my imagination so much among her other works!

I'm inspired and impressed endlessly by @climbthemountain2020 ability to flawlessly produce well developed, gorgeously vivid stories.

@highlordofkrypton, @missfckingfortune and @beesays inspire me constantly with their raw talent and skill and for the first two, the hot and steamy smut they can turn out. @jules-writes-stories inspires me with her OC work and beautifully layered plots (Mithras, my toxic love.) @c-e-d-dreamer inspires me with her fun AU worlds, but also with her fearlessness to tackle toxic relationships - @secret-third-thing is in this same boat as well as @iftheshoef1tz, @foundress0fnothing, and of course the OGs @thesistersarcheron, @whisperingmidnights, @separatist-apologist and @the-lonelybarricade.

There are so many more of you. I love this community and the inspiration that flows all around your creative, galaxy brained minds.

10. Who is a new author you discovered?

SO many, but those I haven't mentioned yet who are so so talented (but not limited to this list): @dusk-muse, @chairofchaos, @shadowsandlint, @xxvalkyriesxx, @fourteentrout, and @littedidyouknow.

11. Did you do any collaborations? How did it start?

None this year, but the idea is fun!

12. What accomplishments are you proudest of?

Could You Love Me While I Hate Myself is my proudest accomplishment this year by far. I always told myself I couldn't: write OCs, write a longfic, or write a fic that would ever break the UNBELIEVABLE stats this fic has done. I proved myself wrong on every front.

Thank you so much to @asnowfern, @popjunkie42 and @wilde-knight for seeing me through this capstone fic and for believing in me and helping me see myself in a totally different light.

13. What did you learn about writing or creating this year?

Be as silly and self-indulgent as possible.

If you have a killer idea/dialogue line/etc - WRITE IT DOWN. YOU WILL NOT REMEMBER IT LATER.

14. What is your advice?

Surround yourself with people who make you feel like you can accomplish anything and you will never fail because there they will be, gassing you up flop or not.

I love you, harem. Writing is so fun BECAUSE of you. <3

15. What are your creative goals for 2025?

Continuing to eat, serve and let the haters drown in it.

[captain-mj]

Bro you cannot just drop prep/jock soap and goth ghost and dip. We need you to give us your brain worms so we can analyze it like a science project

When you have time of course

I will put my worms in a petri dish for you

Soap was an artist! He liked sketching and painting and the act of making art. But he didn't like art essays. The explaining over and over again each detail. Breaking down everything until it felt like a bunch of paint strokes instead of art.

But part of an art degree is a ton of art essays. So Soap went to the museum to write what he needed. He preferred museums to finding art online. A big part of art for him was texture. His preference would've been to touch the art, to feel the paint underneath his fingers. But the assignment specified art from the Baroque period and therefore they had to be older and no museum was going to allow his grubby hands to touch the art.

Soap glanced down one of halls to see if there was anything interesting there when he faltered.

Oh lord.

The man was big. His shoulders. His height. The thighs he had that looked like tree trunks. It was all covered in tight black fabric and silver chains. A work of bloody art himself.

Soap had to hold himself back from wolf whistling.

Once he was done objectifying admiring the man's body, he looked higher up. There was a mask covering the bottom of his face, the only thing visible being his eyes which had heavy eyeliner on them. He could still see the locs of bleached blond hair that surrounded him like a halo.

Soap wanted to paint him.

"You gonna stare all day?" Someone snarked at him and he jumped, glancing at a slightly smaller blond man. He looked at him like he was gross and for a brief moment, he worried he might be about to be hate crimed. The man looked a lot the other one actually now that he was looking closer. Dressed the same way too.

"Aye, what's your fucking problem with it?"

The man's face scrunched. "Ew." He walked away, leaving Soap rather confused but now a bit determined to talk to mystery man.

Pretending to be looking through the paintings, he got closer to him.

Dark brown eyes quickly glanced over at him before glancing back at the paintings.

"Hey. My name is Soap."

"Ghost."

Ooh, he's from Manchester and sticks with his aesthetic. Nice. He'd prefer a not British person, but as far as British people go, he could do worse than Manchester. He glanced at the painting Simon had been admiring.

The Raising of Lazarus by Rembrandt.

"It's a lovely painting." Soap put on his normal charm, acting suave and polite.

"Aye." Ghost gruffed and went quiet again, staring in simple contemplation. His arms were crossed, making already large arms flex.

Soap started to take notes for his assignment. Although he was definitely hoping to score well in more than one ways, he did need to take notes for his assignment.

Ghost glanced over at what he was writing quizzically and Soap answered the unasked question. "I'm doing a project."

"Fun." He huffed and looked back at the painting.

Soap looked down at his chest and licked his hips. "Yeah, it's a good one." He kept writing stuff. "You a college student?"

"Yeah."

"What do you study?"

"Forensics. I'm assuming you're art?"

"Chemistry with a minor in art!" Right as Soap went to mention how funny it was that they didn't share any classes, Ghost interrupted him.

"Wait. Johnny? Johnny MacTavish? We share several classes."

Soap brightened. "Do you dress like this all the time?" There was zero chance he did or Soap would already know his name, address and dick size.

"We have morning classes together. I don't dress up for morning classes." Ghost said decisively. He stretched and shook his head.

How did he manage to not notice the shoulders though at least? The man was huge. He was also several inches taller than Soap and therefore the majority of the class. Maybe if he sat in the back and left later than everyone?

Soap nodded. "Understandable. You look nice."

"Nice huh?" Ghost smiled at him. He could tell cause his eyes scrunched slightly.

"Yeah. Nice." Soap said softly, his chest doing something weird.

They stared at the painting a while before Ghost pulled away to start exploring the rest of the exhibit.

Soap finished up the notes he needed to write his paper and then started to walk with him. He tried to find his opening during all of this.

Ghost stopped at a very specific painting.

ARTEMESIA GENTILESCHI, JUDITH SLAYING HOLOFERNES, C. 1612–1613

The art was... stunning. The red, faded from time and wear, was still beautiful against the white of the blankets.

The women held him down and there was a movement to it that Soap wanted in his own work. His fingers trembled with the want to touch it. To feel the texture of the paint under his fingers. Ridges and bumps and smooth layers of the different strokes.

Ghost hummed. "I don't really get art. It's pretty but some people look at it and it... gives them something. An epiphany."

Soap hummed. "I find touching it helps."

Ghost looked at him, raking his eyes over him. "I see. Do you want to head out then?"

Soap frowned. "Why?"

"You're a piece of art and I'm looking for an epiphany."

[orobaxis]

I loved your Ominis fic so much! It felt like I was there with him 🤭 for prompts I couldn’t decide between “You need to know that I have grown to care for you. Deeply." and "I can't fathom the idea of my life without you in it." It could be angsty or not I don’t mind 😊

“deeply”

ominis gaunt x f!reader (hogwarts legacy)

ominis starts to avoid you.

word count: 2849

warning: some pureblood purity nonsense, f!reader may be muggleborn or a half-blood

beware of spoilers in the comments/tags/reblogs!

“what's wrong with you and ominis?”

you frown, eyes not leaving your plate as you give anne a shrug. you don’t know, really, what’s going on between you and ominis. he just suddenly became so distant to you.

at first, you thought it was just you. you thought you were going a bit paranoid, or that you were overthinking it. because ominis always sits with you, that was his place, that was where people expected to find him in the great hall. wherever y/n was, ominis wasn’t far behind.

it started when he raced anne to sit beside sebastian for lunch. you don’t think they noticed, and anne was just all too happy to sit beside you and chat, but you did. he was supposed to sit beside you, so why didn’t he? you chalked it up to him wanting to talk (argue) with seb, and thought nothing of it.

next was when you arrived to the library shortly after your potions class. you always go to the library after potions to try to work on your homework, you had a dedicated nook and ominis would join you and you would both nag the twins to start their homework (and not copy yours). but one day, he just…wasn’t there. you were beginning to get worried, then, wondering if he wasn’t feeling well, or if you did something to upset him. so that night, you try to catch him in the common room.

he didn’t show up. you four would usually sit by the large windows overlooking the lake, waiting for the giant squid to greet you while pranking other students. but when sebastian told you that “he said he wanted to rest”, your heart formed a little crack in it. and every day he started to avoid you, the crack just grew a little bit bigger.

“i think…he’s avoiding me,” you tell anne. despite being close to ominis, you and anne share a sisterly bond that was forged early in your lives and stronger than the very foundations of magic. there are things you simply cannot talk to seb or ominis about (for one, your…budding feelings towards the latter), and it’s always anne who you turn to in times like these. “he hasn’t talked to me for days now.”

anne scrunches her face in displeasure. “that isn’t like ominis at all, he’s not ignoring me, and certainly not my brother,” she turns to you warily, “do you think it was something you did? something you said?”

“i’m trying to remember, but i’m certain i haven’t said or done anything that could have upset ominis,” the tone of your voice is sadder now, disparaging, “that i know of.”

anne, ever the optimist, reaches for your hand and squeezes it, “well, whatever it is, i’m sure ominis will come around. he can’t stay away forever, you know?”

feeling somewhat comforted, you give her a terse smile. do you know that?

-

it might be best to stay away. ignoring the thumping of his heart and the fluttering in his stomach, ominis flicks his wand, and the howler is engulfed in flames before it can disintegrate. he is thankful for the privacy of the undercroft at this moment, although he knows that any one of his friends can pop in, the message in the howler was not something he wanted them to hear.

son,

we have heard rumours about you associating with some…unsavoury folk—

is that really what they think of her? of y/n? because she wasn’t born from a prominent pureblood family, because she associates herself with muggleborn professor garlick, because she loves all things that grow and not fascinated in the dark arts?

does his family really think less of her because of her birth?

ominis made a hard and rash decision, and it has been going well. however, he’s certain that you are starting to get suspicious by now. you are a smart witch, you know that he’s been avoiding you. but ominis thinks there is no other option. in order to keep you away from his family’s sharp and piercing gaze, it is better to distant himself from you. it is for your own safety. he cannot have them sink their infected claws into the only comfort he has away from home. no matter how hard it is, ominis has to keep away.

which is becoming hard, seeing your history together. having barely separated, you have all the same classes together. herbology, for one, is your favourite class, and you had paired with him to care for a pot of chinese chomping cabbage. this is going to be a lot harder than he thought, seeing as you had rooted yourself deep into his routine, his life, and his heart.

-

feeling emboldened by your conversation with anne, you are hopeful that ominis will finally break his silence in herbology. you are partners, and you have to discuss how to properly care for this rather…biting…flora.

your anxious smile drops a bit when ominis says nothing when you greet him, only standing away from the potting station, seemingly indifferent.

“so…i thought we should start trimming our cabbage and feed it some carrots,” you suggest slowly, trying to gauge any reaction. “and maybe water it before we leave. what do you say, ominis?”

the smile is replaced by a frown when you see him looking away from you, something he hasn’t done since you two started being friends. he is attentive like that, whenever you talk to him, he would turn to your general direction, making sure you know that he was listening to you. now, you aren’t so sure that he’s not let your words pass through one ear and out the other.

ominis only shrugs, “do whatever you think is right,” and turns away from your completely.

disheartened, you turn to the potting station, trying to ignore the tightening of your throat and the sharp sting of tears threatening to fall down your cheeks. you silently tend to your plant for the rest of the class.

-

“why are you ignoring y/n?”

sebastian finds him sulking close to the defense against the dark arts classroom. this is also one of your favourite hauntings, enjoying the tea the biscuits when you have a free period.

ominis sighs, knowing that he cannot really avoid the question forever. he also knows how persistent sebastian can be, and it would be no use to hide it from him. despite this, he tries to play dumb at first, “what makes you say that?”

“well, for one, you haven’t been sitting next to her or talking to her for a couple of days now. and in herbology, you’d think someone made her watch a niffler getting tortured with how sad she looked.” sebastian’s tone is accusatory.

the gaunt boy frowns as he imagines how much his actions hurt you, only giving you one sentence answers whenever you ask questions in class and avoiding you as much as he can. he hates that he’s the reason you were so down in herbology earlier.

“and anne has been pestering me to ask you,” sebastian adds, “which means you better tell me now before she comes here and beats it out of you.”

ominis scoffs, “like she’d eve—”

“ominis, the only reason she hasn’t hexed you is because she’s busy comforting y/n right now. as soon as she’s done, you best believe we’ll both be on the receiving end of a mean stinging hex.”

well, ominis couldn’t argue with that.

“it’s my parents,” he tells sebastian, “they owled me, wrote to me that i shouldn’t be associating with ‘unsavoury folk’ and those who are ‘lesser’. that i am slytherin’s heir and should not be seen with someone who has muggle parentage and friends with muggleborns.”

sebastian blanches at that. “how dare they!”

“you might think that’s that, but it’s also a threat. they are telling me to stop now, or else they will find her.”

“and this…this is why you’re staying away?”

ominis nods, “i don’t want my family to even think of her. to look at her or touch her. i cannot have them taint her.”

he waits as sebastian goes silent, trying to process what he just said. he is not hoping for a solution, nor comfort.

“but…you’re hurting her. and yourself.”

ominis says nothing. he doesn’t need to. what more can he say?

-

you want to believe that you’re getting used to the silence. but you really can’t. it’s so different without ominis’ presence, without his (overly) doting nature, or his commentary whenever seb does anything stupid. while you still wonder what it is you did to make him ice you out, you also start to muster the courage to talk to him alone and ask him about it.

relaying this to anne, you two try to find the right “opportunity” to catch ominis off guard so that you can confront him. he seemingly catches on to it though, now sticking beside sebastian at any cost. sebastian is also a bit subdued, and that is something you should ask about in a while as well.

it’s so strange to find ominis across the table from you in the great hall, face turned away from you like he is deliberately letting you know he doesn’t want to acknowledge your presence. anne has been helpful, sitting beside you and initiating conversation, but it’s not the same.

it’s not the same without him.

so when the owls started arriving and delivering packages, you consider it a welcome surprise to receive one.

“oh, a package!” anne exclaims excitedly, “who is it from?”

you turn over the package, the smile on your face replaced by a frown, “i don’t know. it’s unmarked.”

at that, ominis can feel the hair on the back of his neck standing, and he sits up straighter. “don’t open it.”

you look up to ominis, surprised that he not only was listening to you (and ignoring you on purpose), but that he talked to you. even if it was just to tell you not to open a package.

sebastian purses his lips and nods, “he’s right, y/n. it could be some prank from someone.”

or something related to the dark arts that is meant to curse you, he and ominis think.

ominis has a gnawing feeling of anxiety, wondering if it was his family who sent you this mysterious package. do they really think he wouldn’t know about it? why would they send something potentially dangerous in such a conspicuous way?

“alright,” you acquiesce, now thinking that it couldn’t hurt to be on the safe side. it would be terrible if the package turned out to be a prank, wondering if it would explode when you open it or splash you with something pungent. “i’ll open it outside.”

“i will open it,” ominis states, and it sounds final. you stare at him, contemplating on whether this would be the right time to ask him, if he has decided he’s had enough of ignoring you and you can go back to the way it was. the finality in his words seem to suggest that he does not tryst whatever is in that package. his arms extend across the table to you, “i’ll keep it in the undercroft for now.”

blinking in surprise, you raise your eyebrow, “you want to hide it there?”

he nods tersely, “just to make sure it doesn’t explode on you. after classes we will go to the beach and open it.”

resigned, you hand the package over to him, taking the moment to bask in the feeling of his fingers brushing against your own. as quickly as it happened, ominis’ hands are gone, and he stands up, wand blinking red in front of him. he doesn’t say anything as he leaves for the undercroft.

sebastian says nothing when he hears your sigh of defeat.

-

the four of you find yourselves at the beach after class, eyeing the suspicious package tucked under ominis’ arm.

“i didn’t find any traces of dark arts in the package,” he says, “but we can never be too careful. i will place it on the ground and i need you all to back away as far as you can.”

“will you be safe?” you blurt out, your worry for him trumping the other confusing feelings you have bubbling up your chest, “if this is some kind of…dark arts artifact…i think it would be best if we get a teacher involved.”

ominis thought about that, of course. “if it’s dark arts, then i might be able to find a way to control it. and then you can go and fetch professor hecat.”

still wary, you voice your assent, grabbing anne’s hand for support.

you watch ominis take a deep breath, sebastian standing not too far from him, ready to catch him if anything happens as well as to guard you and anne.

ominis waves his hand in a flourish, and you all held your breaths as the packaging tears open to find…

a book.

thick, and well-used, it looks like…an ordinary textbook.

you shuffle towards ominis curiously, ignoring sebastian’s calls, and peeked to see what it is.

“oh, it’s a book,” you comment. you get close enough to read the title, even as ominis extends his arm to stop you from getting any closer. “it’s the herbology book i’ve been looking for!”

“what book?” ominis asks, still distrustful.

“i asked deek the house elf to help me find a book on herbology that professor garlick mentioned. he said he knew where that missing book may have been hidden. he must have sent it to me when he found it.”

you cautiously move away from ominis hold, reaching for the book. “see? it’s harmless. deek probably just didn’t put his name on it.”

“so, it’s not evil?” sebastian asks.

you raise the book and wave it, smiling, “nope!”

“merlin’s beard! that gave me quite the fright,” anne exclaims, hands on her chest, “this was all just a big misunderstanding!”

you smile, before subtly turning your gaze to ominis. he is quiet, once again icing you out. he nods stiffly before raising his wand, proceeding to walk away.

“ominis, wait!” you call out.

you see him hesitate, stopping his tracks for a moment. he clears his throat, “i’m glad you’re safe.”

-

he finds out by the large windows in the common room, one of your favourite spots.

you were learning your forehead against the window, listening to the sound of water behind the thick glass.

“the giant squid isn’t here,” ominis remarks, “i couldn’t hear it.”

he cannot see the sad smile on your face. “thank you for letting me know, i think it’s better knowing that instead of waiting for nothing.”

oh.

he doesn’t like the sound of your voice when it’s sad.

before he can process it, he is standing in front of you, hands clenched at his sides. “i’m sorry y/n. i know i hurt you…but…”

your voice is small and muffled against the window, “i don’t know what i did for you to push me away like this.”

“my family has threatened to hurt you if i don’t stay away,” he blurts out, and you sit up in surprise.

“what?” you are shocked, to say the least.

“that’s why i was so worried about the package. i was afraid that they had sent you a cursed object because you…because you associate yourself with me.

but y/n, you need to know that i have grown to care for you. deeply,” ominis doesn’t want to admit how much he’s shaking, how it is obvious from the way he sounds that his shaky voice is about to crack and his throat tight as he struggles to keep his emotions at bay, “you are the last thing i want my family to touch. i couldn’t let them hurt you. not you.”

you exhale, tears now flowing down your cheeks. you stand in front of him and grasp his hands, which are cold, clammy, and shaking.

“oh ominis,” you squeeze his hands, slowly making your way closer until your forehead rests against his. feelings that you thought are yours to keep, buried deep and untouched in your heart, are starting to rise. “i cannot fathom the idea of my life without you in it. i don’t care what your family thinks. i will be fine as long as i’m with you. with seb and anne. with our family.”

ominis starts to break, exhaling as he feels your skin touch his, your smell invading his senses and your warmth soothing his tormented soul. “i cannot lose you, y/n. not to them.”

smiling through your tears, you raise your arms to pull him into a hug. “you won’t lose me, ominis. i promise you.”

there may be a lot of work to be done, more talks to be had, with regards to your feelings and his, on how to navigate these feelings and desires while also making sure that his family never touches you, but for now, ominis basks in your presence and in the love you have for him. and for now, that is enough.

-

aaaahhh sped write this minutes before a class presentation. i hope it’s fine. thank you for your patience with my writing styles/formatting as i try to find the best style/layout to write. thank you for the overwhelming love!!!

[the-other-art-blog]

I cannot deal with one more Benophie fan complaining about the lack of Benedict's artistic side in s3.

Aren't you guys supposed to like this character and understand him?

Everyone complains about the show's lack of accountability, continuity, and consequences. But here it is Benedict's artistic plot going through ups and downs for 3 seasons and fans complain!

That was one of my main wishes for s3: NO ART FOR BENEDICT. It had to be this way.

Benedict thought he had entered the Academy by himself, for his talent. He was so happy to have received external validation and Anthony's interference destroyed that. He destroyed his confidence. Of course, he abandoned art. He felt like a fraud.

If Benedict had resumed painting in s3, this scene would have lost meaning and weight:

What would have been the point of this dramatic moment if he would have been fine next season?

In the book, part of Benedict's arc is growing confident in his art. He has been hiding his talent forever (even more than in the show) because he's afraid and Sophie helps him realize he's an artist. The show found a way to show his art since s1, and still follow the book.

This was not the final season, we still have to see HIS season where all of this needs to be resolved. His season is when he needs to regain confidence and share his art with everyone again, thanks to Sophie.

Yes, it was sad to see Benedict holding a newspaper instead of a sketchbook, BUT IT WAS NECESSARY FOR HIS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!!!!

That brief exchange with Paul said everything the audience needed to know about his art in s3:

Paul asks him if he paints (Paul was being a bit of a jerk here, too judgemental just because Ben is part of the ton, but I get it)

How heartbreaking this was!

He couldn't have said 'yes' even if he talked in past tense because Paul would have asked more. 'Why did you give it up?' And what was he supposed to say: 'My brother paid my way into the Academy'? Of course, he said no. The writers did not forget about s1 and s2, they simply were writing a coherent storyline. Benedict's still not over the betrayal and hurt he felt at the end of s2.

In the meantime, Ben has been filling the hole art left in his heart with work during Anthony's honeymoon. Once that is gone, Ben becomes a jerk (I've talked about this in this post after seeing part 1: x) He's extra grumpy and out-of-character but it makes sense narratively because he's frustrated.

It only gets better when he meets Tilley. She is a temporary solution to his frustration. Once he began his affair with her, he went back to his normal, charming self at balls. This is what he does, what he did for 3 seasons. Sex is like a palliative treatment for whatever turmoil he has inside (see how amazingly appropriate this is for Benophie?)

Moreover, Benedict's sexuality needed to be addressed BEFORE his season. Or would you have preferred to do it while Sophie was there?

Thanks to CVD, who refused to address this matter in s2, Jess had to do it in s3. Honestly, Jess did a lot of fixing this season.

This way Benedict is at peace with that part of himself that had been causing so much anxiety since he met Granville. Not only did Tilley offer a momentary escape valve for his frustration, but she helped him accept a part of his identity AND encouraged him to find love. Honestly, the hate she gets from the Benophie fandom is shameful. She did nothing wrong and only helped and supported Benedict. (Plus Luke Thompson loved those scenes, so 🤷‍♀️)

I shouldn't get so upset about other people's opinions, but honestly. These comments come from people who declare to be stans and queens of the fandom. They also have been in a 2-year tantrum and hate campaign against s3, so not really surprised.

It's so funny because if there's one character that has been written exquisitely, it's Benedict. He's the writers' favorite, 100%. Everything he has done makes total sense and prepares him for Sophie.

[thewillowtree3]

Korrasami Secret Santa 2024!! ;DDDD!! ❤️❤️

Hi, Korrasami fam!! We're back!! ;DDDDD!!

We're doing Korrasami Secret Santa for 2024!! (I did copy this from Korrasami Secret Santa 2024. Always will!! ;DDDD!!). 7 YEARS AND KICKING BABEY LET'S GO!! ;DDDD!! ❤️❤️❤️

The rules are the same:

Korrasami creators will be able to gift one another with Secret Santa gifts. Whether it be fics, art, videos, animations…the fun’s all there! (It doesn’t have to be holiday-themed! It can be whatever you want :)

The Process:

This Secret Santa exchange will be done through drawnames.com, which is a Secret Santa Name Generator. You’ll need your email for this, and you can message me it directly on Tumblr (I’ll gather everyone’s names up, and put them into the generator when it’s time to draw names.)

The due date to sign up is 11:59 PM Nov 29, 2024 PDT (I’d like everyone to have ample time to do their Secret Santa gifts). :)

Most likely, you’ll need to make an account on drawnames.com (you don’t need to, but it’s recommended.  When you get to writing your Wish List on there, under ‘Hobbies and Interests’, make two different lists: One for ‘Fic Requests’, the other for ‘Art Requests’. If a writer draws your name, you’ll have a suggestion for what you want them to write. If an artist draws your name, they’ll have an idea of what to create! (Also, originally, this project only had fanfic and fanart- but if anyone can contribute any other talents, that’d be swell!)

Example: Fic Request- I want Korra and Asami cuddling at home with a fireplace!

Art Request: I want Korrasami going otter-penguin sledding!

The fic and art requests can be the same, or they can be different. Please limit it to one, or if you can’t choose, then two options. You can also note things that you don’t want (i.e. No smut or NSFW work!). You can be as specific as you wish.

Also, everyone else! We recognize that there may be people in the fandom who don’t create content, but still want to contribute! @lamftw​ came up with these great ideas four years ago, if you’d still like to participate in the Secret Santa. You can:

Create Korrasami memes! The more memes, the better :)

Share your favorite Korrasami headcanons! We’d love to hear them.

Share your favorite artwork/fanfic!

Share your favorite moment from LoK or share how much Korrasami means to you.

Create Korrasami memes, write a sweet holiday message/ note of appreciation :)

Also, we can all show some love to our favorite creators, to Bryke, Janet Varney, and Seychelle Gabriel (the voice of Korra and Asami, respectively). :)

When everyone has signed up, I’ll put all the names into the Secret Santa Name Generator. You should get an email, asking you to join the Secret Santa exchange. Just click ‘Join Group’, and you’re good! Once everyone has joined, the names will then be drawn, and you’ll get your chosen individual (you’ll get an email for this too). Please remember to check your email on Dec 1; we cannot draw names unless everyone has joined the Secret Santa group!

The reveal will be on Dec 19, 2024 (the 10TH KORRASAMI ANNIVERSARY!! ;DDDD!!). Post your work on Tumblr, and tag the person you got, so they’ll know what lovely work they got! Also, please tag ‘Korrasami Secret Santa’ so we can save these posts for the future :).

Please note that if you sign up, you HAVE to commit to making something. This is open to all creators, of any skill level, but please please make something if you sign up. You don’t wanna leave anyone hanging!

Last note- remember to message me on Tumblr and give me your email. That’s the way to sign up! :)

10TH KORRASAMI ANNIVERSARY BABEYY LETS FUCKING GOO!! ;DDDD!! ❤️❤️✨✨

LET'S DO THIS AND MAKE THIS THE BEST ANNIVERSARY EVER!! ;DDDD!! ❤️❤️🌈🌈✨

SPREAD THIS TO✨ ALL YOUR CREATOR FRIENDS!! ;DDDD!!🌈🌈❤️❤️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

7TH YEARS IN A ROW LET'S FUCKING GOOO!! ;DDDDD!! ❤️❤️🌈🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈✨✨✨💐💐🎊🎊🎉🎉🥳🥳❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤍🖤🤎💖💝💗❤️❤️💙💜💙💜🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈✨;DDDD!!

[thesensteawitch]

MESSAGE FROM YOUR HIGHER SELF 🍀💫

Pick A Pile Reading

(Left To Right- Pile 1, Pile 2, Pile 3)

Hello, Senstea Souls! 🩷

I am back with another collective reading! Take a deep breath and pick a pile intuitively.

In case you wish to book a personal tarot reading with me feel free to DM me on Tumblr.

I am sharing the links to my rate card and booking form below:

🌷 Rate Card

🌷 Booking Form

Here is your reading:

Pile 1

Hello, my beautiful pile 1. Your cards came out in pairs. What I felt instantly was that your higher self is talking about two paths. So I thought maybe you've got two paths in front of you, and the one you choose will define who you become. But reading more into the cards, I realized that one path leads you to your future and the other to your past. So take how it resonates for you, pile 1. For the very first time, it seems you're seeing someone in a totally different light. You're surprised. How could you overlook this person's great qualities? Your higher self is asking you to heal the past by being loving toward yourself and toward someone else. Your past is not holding you back at all, you are. So to move forward, you must learn to handle your emotions. Perhaps that was your lesson that you needed to learn from the path of the past. It seems that you've done enough for the people around you. It's time you start doing things for yourself. You were so attached to being a good friend, son/daughter, father, mother, or partner that you forgot yourself in the process. Your higher self wants you to release the past with love and forgiveness.

Now moving toward the second path, which is toward your future, I see that some people are coming in the way. This is what your higher self wants to say to you: “My love, it's time that we start pursuing our dreams. It's time to search for our inner artist. Create something of your own. You may think what you want may be impossible, but I am asking you to believe in the impossible. This full moon shows your first artwork to the world. Don't dim your light. You have all the things you need to get started. With one strech of a hand, you can grab a star. Trust me, it just seems worlds apart, but truly it's not. Ask yourself: What are you afraid of? Where does your resistance come from? Someone has always been there for you, supports you, and is rooting for you. They too are transitioning with you. They are practically rowing the boat. And if you can't think of anyone, then know that the universe is rowing your boat. You've got your loved ones with you. SHOW THE WORLD THE REAL YOU. “The Hymn Of The Weekend” is your channeled song. The moment you launch your project, you will enter a new chapter of your life! Hunt down your fears and desires before the next full moon. And show everybody your talent.” If someone here wants to use a stage name, spirit is saying you're free to do so unless you're ready to reveal the artist behind the art.

Pile 2

Hello, my beautiful pile 2. Your higher self is sending you so much love right now. You needed that pain to have a perspective shift. The cards are so blue. I feel those who chose this pile have cried a lot in the recent past. What you went through wasn't easy at all, but you took a stand for yourself. Your higher self is really proud of you to take the lead in a challenging situation. Your higher self wants you to take a break now. There's something that's bothering you because it seems your beliefs have been challenged, so it's time you learn and understand something from a higher perspective. When something challenging happens, it's our ego that breaks first. And it's important for it to break so that you become truly humble. Listen to a Guru or a spiritual teacher. It's time you again become the student of life. Your higher self sees your kind, loving, and protective side. But the guides are saying that you cannot save people from the lessons they are meant to learn. You can't fight God. Recently, you've also communicated what's important to you or about your pain. From next week, each passing day will heal you if you try to upgrade your knowledge and be wise. It's not the time to think you know everything; it's time to learn. Learn why certain situations happen; what's the root cause? Be compassionate toward yourself and others.

This is what your higher self is saying to you: “My love, it's time to find your emotional balance again. It was just a bad day, not a bad life. You're overthinking, trust me. Your life is going to be far better than what you think it is going to look like. In fact, there's a new start coming into your life. Before that, you must learn what this challenging situation was trying to teach you. And you cannot learn it by yourself. You need to look for the deeper wisdom from books or spiritual gurus. What's true to you may not be true to others. So don't fight with yourself. The horror is in your heart, not in your life. Respect the differences. By the next new moon, if you continuously seek wisdom from the right and trusted source, you'll be out of this mental rut. Journey to your better mindset/mental state begins after 3 days.” ‘Just The Way You Are’ by Bruno Mars is the song I've channeled for you.

Pile 3

Hello, my beautiful pile 3. For how long have you been waiting for love? But what I see looking at your cards is that love has always been around you. You were blocked from it because you were not mentally ready for it. Your higher self is saying that love is selfless. It doesn't expect anything in return. There's someone in your life you misunderstood in the past (it can be anyone). Maybe you went through a tough cycle with them. For most of you, I think it was a romantic connection. Your higher self is asking you to show compassion toward yourself and work through your fears. Don't be so indicisive. There are no right or wrong decisions in life. Someone seriously has eyes only for you, pile 3. You're their dream come true. It seems that you worked really hard for this connection or on yourself, and your higher self is saying that your hard work is paying off, though you may not feel so. Your higher self is emphasizing these words: trust, choose, love, and be fearless. All along you were just running away from your patterns and your trauma that needed to be addressed.

This is what your higher self is saying to you: “You have the power to design your destiny! Do you get that? All along, you've painted your life with every stroke as per your wish! Ask yourself: What do you truly want? How can you work on your relationship with yourself and with others? If you really give it your all, you will have the kind of relationship you want. Yes, you did all you could, but there were some patterns being played from your end too in your connection. That did more damage than good. So be kind to yourself and to the other person. You're a warrior. You've come so far in your life. What you're afraid of is just in your head. You can easily defeat your shadows and rise above them. Every time given a chance, you got afraid and walked away thinking you'd done it all. But all these signs that you've been getting were leading you to this moment. You were where you were meant to be, and you're where you're supposed to be. So don't you ever think that you were on the wrong path? The obstacle in the path is the path. It just took you some time to understand the maze and find your way out of it. Open your heart and spread love. The song I am channeling for you is “Firework” by Katy Perry.”

If you're a writer, painter, or any sort of artist, you're being called to heal yourself through expression. Love and let yourself be loved, pile 3. You've built your life brick by brick, and your foundation is strong. Listen to your heart; what do you truly want? The truth is buried in the deepest corners of your heart, and the moment you'll show it in your art, you'll find it coming to the surface.

[random-non-shower-thoughts]

I'm sick of writers constantly complaining about how hard writing is and how they have to suffer for the craft and how you need to struggle to make it good. I find it so annoying

You are not being quirky or funny to beginning authors and writers, all you are doing is telling them that if they didn't bleed their soul on to the page it's shit and they should feel like shit. I fucking listened to this kind of mindset for years and spewed it to those around me. I was pretentious and told others this mindset was the only one and did nothing because I knew my writing was obviously a joke and not worth reading. Because that's what everyone else said. I didn't bleed, I was having fun. You had to crawl through hell and burn the first draft to spit on the ashes. I wasn't ready to publish because I was enjoying walking my little book babies across the page and doing what they wanted. The little characters knew what they wanted, so I had to rewrite and wrangle them in later. The couldn't just run around like the little ones they were.

And I was right, I wasn't ready. Not because of them, but because I kept swallowing the same slop about how writing is hard and that a first draft had to be shit. I rewrote my first baby and it suffered. I tried to fix it like all the others said, and killed that entire series. Four books, hundreds of thousands of words. DEAD. I will likely never touch them despite all I did to tell a compelling story with characters that were fun, interesting, and well-researched to represent multiple groups. I cannot get that spark back because I was convinced it was wrong. I never tasted enough bile by the nice first draft that was good enough for myself. RIGHT NOW. IT WAS ONLY WHAT I COULD DO NOW.

I legit gave up on ever publishing anything and convinced myself to just make it shit so maybe I could crawl out of the mud and build from scratch. It's what my professor did, and she was years into a book she still wasn't happy with. She insisted she knew the way to publish and we should do the same. How she struggles with typing and making notes for the next draft, how the next one would be better after a rewrite. I had to do the same. It was the only way...

I am so thankful that I did some research after that and found myself falling down a rabbit hole. I wasn't really ready to fully accept the mantra from my professor. Her words never sat right with me, and those who listened without question were quite frankly, too snobbish about white men making badly written black women and all showing zero energy around first drafts--good or bad. I had to get a new perspective. The itch to see more called me to find answers. I was off put by the way they worked like it was an obligation, not art.

And I found it with a group of authors far older and more experienced than myself in a writing blog. Not just the creator held a set of different beliefs and the entire community was excited to share entire books worth of advice for free online, including the author posting (physical copies cost money, but despite running a business, the information was so freely given). And I think the three most important pieces of advice I ever got from them and changed my life were:

Quality will always equal quality. There's is almost no other art form that I have seen talk less about this mindset. Compared to say, drawing, where they go in opposite direction and it's one of the most encouraged aspects of it. I do not see this as much in writing, unless you are boasting bad/shit drafts. This is not what this advice is talking about. This was explained to mean everything from first draft to publishing, the entire process. To go all the way with works put out there that might not be what you first imagined but can say was done. Get that stroy done and put out there so you can move on and learn from previous mistakes and lessons.

You can write a clean first draft. I mean this, throw away the idea what you have done in a moment of happiness or in a frenzy is inherently bad or flawed or needs to be scrapped for the second draft because you obviously need to fix it. It was pointed out that this was a new idea and absolutely a bad thing when you had limited resources and time (pulp fiction, times when you had to make your own supplies, you were not allowed access to better technology). Now that we have electronic word processers, it is now a thing to shit on a first draft because you technically can. But why? Why should you have to throw out your level of quality and care because you are putting your first words to the page. It will never be as good as what you write tomorrow, but that's because you have learned and practiced today. And if you start with shit, your entire foundation is. Show you care about what you write, and much like a house, if what you use for the base is good, the entire thing will have a better leg to stand on. Bricks can be replaced, the swamp you placed them on is going to be much harder.

Do not listen to the inner critic until the editing phase. You know that voice telling you something is off when you are using an editor? The one that sounds like a serious adult and points out all that needs fixing? It has its place, but never on the first draft. Embrace the three year old that is playing with the blocks and says why to everything, that embraces the absolute batshit ideas that whisper to you like a infatuated lover. This is all you should listen too (outlines can be a great guide, but who says you have to follow everything?) Treat the true muse, this fun writing voice, no different than a caregiver would with a child/pet playing at the park, and let it run wild. You can patch up bruises and cuts. You cannot take back telling them NO in a fit of anger. The muse is no different.

And honestly, after reading this, my life changed so much. It made me realize that while I am not where I want to be, I loved what I created in the meantime. I wanted to hold the hands of ideas pulling my sleeve. I wanted to go on an adventure and say, "Yeah, let's go! What should we see today? What monster is waiting for us to discover?"

I literally felt a joy and wrote again. Not right away (depression is a loving embrace and the softest of kissers) but I had not felt such love for myself since before I gave up. I found a character I had not let get tainted my poisoned mind and I treated them like they deserved (and realized some things about myself exploring their minds). Such a love was waiting to be found when I learned they wanted something bigger and pulled me into a new bigger world. I didn't need a novel writing month event to create more than 50k. I didn't care, I wanted them to find their loves and pain, victory and lessons learned. They helped me explore viewpoints outside myself (and throw away some hateful things I harbored about trans women and prostitution from my upbringing).

I bled for sure, but only because I needed to develop the callouses on my fingertips and to lick the blood from my lips as I embraced my muse like a irresistible lover. I found myself in the character I birthed from stardust and an elder god's love of the universe. I learned that if I did this again it would be different, but that's okay. I can go back and read my old works with pride and kind words. I loved what helped me reach this far with a smile and something fun I wanted to read.

I found that if I took a month or a day to pound out a chapter, I was okay. I could sit back and know dealing a closet death and pain was fine, I had something to look forward to when the waters calmed and I was going to be okay again. My muse didn't need me to poke and prod, I could let them slumber with me while my flesh was aching and tears stained my face. I could smoke and drink with my characters and they would be happy to laugh at all the stupid and silly things we can think of. I don't need to suffer when the world is so cold and harsh. It is okay to embrace the warmth of a fire I created in myself.

[perfectlyoongi]

EX-BOYFRIEND!NAMJOON who rereads your conversations on the loneliest nights. every joke made, every plan desired, every love you promised, a whole conversation without beginning or end was read and reread by Namjoon when the longing for you tightened his heart. in a way, in the pain he caused himself he found a little comfort, knowing that for a moment what you had was true, it was felt by both of you. but then reality hit Namjoon like thunder, sending shocks of agony and sadness through his body that shook his entire soul. if that was true, why did you leave? were the Namjoon’s stories too detailed for you? were the photos shared by Namjoon too hopeful for you? speak! tell him! tell Namjoon why you stopped talking, why you decided to take with you all the conversations that could comfort him on the most turbulent nights. tell Namjoon why you stopped talking, why you decided that you no longer needed Namjoon to have jokes and plans and promises in your life. tell Namjoon why you left and he swears he’ll try to understand your side. “i’m trying to look in so many words exchanged where i went wrong to lose you. please, tell me that the reason for your departure is not forever on my phone.”

EX-BOYFRIEND!NAMJOON who looks for you at the bottom of the alcohol bottles he drinks. Namjoon wondered why he wasn’t hearing you. you went with him everywhere, you always laughed when he said he could drink faster than you, you always gave him an alcohol-laced kiss when he almost spilled your drinks on you. but now you weren’t. now, in every bar, in the comfort of his house, you just weren’t there. it was as if you had disappeared, taking with you the joy of moments well spent, leaving behind a small haze of longing. now Namjoon drank alone. glass after glass, Namjoon drank alone, wanting to hear your laugh once again, wanting to feel your lips once again. just one more bottle and he was done. but what if it’s in the next bottle he finds you? you could be in the second bottle waiting for him to spill it all over him. yes, you were definitely in the third bottle. “alcohol has lost all its charm now that you’re not here to make me feel alive. the more i drink, the more i miss you. but there is something in me that pulls me to drink more in the hope of hearing you laughing at the end of each glass. i don't know what to do.”

EX-BOYFRIEND!NAMJOON who can never finish a song because he's afraid of causing it the same pain he felt for you leaving. it all ended suddenly for Namjoon. your relationship simply came to an end one day and Namjoon never understood how or why. all Namjoon knew was that your words dug a huge hole inside his heart, and flooded him with an eternal hurt that only overflowed in a constant waterfall of pure pain. it was an end. a painful end. an end that Namjoon didn’t want to repeat. his art came from within him, in the small drops of pain that spilled from his heart; words written with the ink of melancholy that painted Namjoon’s soul had difficulty finding a home; the papers seemed too rough to use, the computer screen was too bright to contain so much darkness — where could Namjoon ease his pain? would Namjoon be able to ease his pain? finishing creating something… wasn’t that similar to the end of a relationship? all the love and effort that Namjoon felt was going to come to an end. abruptly. no explanation other than it had to end. how could Namjoon subject his entire art to such pain? it wasn’t enough for Namjoon’s heart to suffer, did he also have to make his art suffer? “the anguish that runs through me is something i wouldn’t wish on anyone. this eternal despair of not knowing when something will get better because you know it can’t get better. this anguish, this pain, i cannot give it to anyone. this pain should only be mine.”

EX-BOYFRIEND!NAMJOON who saw you leaving with his heart in your hands. bring back his smile. bring back the sparkle in his eyes. bring back his will to exist, for you left and left behind a prison of pure agony and despair where you trapped Namjoon without giving him a chance to escape. and it was in that prison that Namjoon had been since you left, pondering his crime of having loved, of having loved you, of having loved you too much, knowing perfectly well that there was no possibility of freedom now that you left with the cell key, left with Namjoon’s heart. how could he dream of freedom when you had tied him with ropes of anguish and chains of hurt? Namjoon constantly lived on a bed of melancholy, surrounded by bars of pure suffering that prevented him from seeing the light of the world, retaining all the colors, expelling any and all happiness that could try to appease Namjoon’s broken heart. all because you left and took Namjoon’s heart with you. “i wasn’t able to stop you because you still held my heart with the same love that formed these bars, but you left. with two hearts. one mine, two yours.”

EX-BOYFRIEND!NAMJOON who only sees you when he tries to move on. but maybe it’s time for him to forget, for him to put his past behind him and try to focus on a future he once dreamed would be bright. with you. the future Namjoon had dreamed of was bright and it was with you. no. it couldn’t be with you. Namjoon would move on and forget about you. yes. he would force himself to move on from now on. focus on his happiness. that previously only existed with you. Namjoon’s happiness only existed with you because you were the happiness in Namjoon’s life. no. it couldn’t be you no more. you are not here anymore. Namjoon needs to move on and forget about you. forget all the promises he made to you. forget all the kisses exchanged. forget all your idealized plans. forget you. you. Namjoon’s happiness. in the past. in a present in another reality. in a future dreamed of by Namjoon. he couldn't move on. in whatever direction Namjoon looked, he only saw you. and it was you he wanted, because you were the one he loved.

EX-BOYFRIEND!NAMJOON who stops distinguishing reality from dreams. Namjoon could have sworn he woke up next to you — why wasn’t your pillow there? Namjoon could have sworn he heard you calling him from the kitchen — why weren’t you eating breakfast? what witchcraft was happening from the moment he opened his eyes? why did all of your essence still travel through Namjoon’s house when you weren’t there? did you go back to him? just for one night? no. he didn’t remember having you in his arms. he would remember it perfectly if you had returned to his arms. so how did he hear your voice asking for help making the bed? what was happening to Namjoon? how did he le—

EX-BOYFRIEND!NAMJOON who knows he’s not worthy of being loved, but still hopes to see you again just to be proven wrong.

[valentine-cafe]

﹙1 year anniversary. ﹚ ─── can you believe it has been a year? ”

( eden. ) how do we even start this off? well, I don’t think that there is any formal way that we possibly can. all we can say is that this entire day has been so surreal. like -

what do you mean it’s been a whole year that we’ve had the blog? it feels like just yesterday, yet ten years all at the same time. everything just went on so fast and to be here typing this now feels like it’s a dream.

I don’t think I’ve ever thought I could be consistent with a blog like I have been with this one. I didn’t think that I would get so much of joy out of sharing our characters and connecting with people like we have over this year. but I have, and I am grateful. from this one spontaneous day of telling howl I wanna make an oc blog to now planning a book series because of it. . .

I guess all I can say is - thank you. thank you, all of you, for this year that you have spent with us. whether you were here from the beginning or you are a recent enthusiast of the cafe. all of you have made this year amazing. to hear that we touch and inspire people with our writing, art, etc. to hear that people genuinely look forward to our posts - to us - it’s amazing.

thank you for all the continued support. thank you for being here and showing us that we have a shot at this book thing. from all your kind words to your sillies and your rambles. we want you to know that we appreciate every one of you. we cannot wait to continue the content for the future and walk this journey with you!

I’m not sure if any authors previously have tried this path. of creating and connecting with a fanbase before their work is done. I hope more do. because this has been a dream come true. I’m so honoured to sit here and type this out. I’m so grateful for this year that has gone by - and I sure as hell am ready for all that is to come !

best wishes as always, please take care and stay safe. remember that we love all of you <3

( howl ) : To think that this has gone on for an entire year now. Why, it feels like more! I am excited to say that both Eden and I look forward to the future of this blog greatly, and adore the work that we get to make for it.

Did you know, this blog took two ( 2 ) months to make, when it was still in creation? It took us much thought and love to figure out how we were gonna make this a blog with characters we love so dearly one for all of you to see! Characters you could love as well.

Along a journey of hard work, tears and laughter. Came all of you, and many of you are still teetering in. We love you all the same, and are grateful for your presence.

With your endless support, and your interest and love for our world, our characters — the books that are in making. We feel aspired to keep going. The inspiration we get from watching all of you, amazing souls and beautiful minded individuals.

The entire meaning of this blog, is to uplift people. Inspire them. It was created just as much for sillies, yes and the purpose of sharing interesting oc’s. But the meaning of it, was to uplift, and inspire, help people feel seen by reflections of themselves in our characters. The same way we see it. If that makes sense.

You are all such a big help in this big project of ours.

It started out so small, like a flicker of light in the dark matter of night. Burst into a sun, a star and a moon. All shining so brightly together.

Thank you, for being here. For being the wonderful soul you are.

Thank you for coming around or dropping by after a hard day or a good day! With lovely requests and questions galore about our characters.

Thank you for sending us your lovely art, thank you for sending us your ideas and headcanons, thank you for coming around to make sure we’re doing okay.

We wish for all of you to know, nevermind who you are, and where life is for you at this very moment. We believe in you, keep going. Even when it gets hard. Come morning, come night. There shall always be light to guide you. And we will happily do that.

We love all of you so much, thank you. I don’t have any words to describe just how much all of you really mean to us. No words were created for such.

You are all doing Eden and I such a big amount of support and we love and appreciate you for it. And we hope, that when these books come out, and you get to see these characters once more. In different lights, but lovable all the same, that you will find comfort and help in them, as much as we have.

Thank you.