#and then i added a converter for it and THEN i realised that i was 50p away from free delivery (🙄) so i was like. y’know what..

[obstinatecondolement]

I think I might finally be (kind of) starting to understand some of the finer details of A/V concepts that have been a solid wall between me and troubleshooting tech-related vidding problems historically.

[fingertipsmp3]

I love getting paid less than I was expecting and immediately spending an irresponsible amount of money on shit I don’t need

[nonsensical-pixels]

part 1 of some requests from ghoularcade at the wishing tree... and some extras!! i realise it's only april, but have @nolan-sims' warlock wears, madame mystique, and borrower's outfit, taken from various simblreen treats of theirs, converted from ts4 to ts2! 3 spring treats just for you 🤍

they're all largely medium-poly and for at least 2 ages, with all appropriate morphs. not all of them turned out exactly as i was hoping for them to, but i'm so relieved that they're done. stay tuned for more... soon, i hope? there's more stuff and details under the cut!

DOWNLOAD: SFS | MF 🌼

credits go of course to @nolan-sims for the original ts4 outfits and their meshes & textures; to @madlensims and ea/maxis for the original shoes used in the outfits; and last but not least to @paluding, without whose tattooer the madame mystique dress would not have been possible! 🥰

CLOSE-UPS + DETAILS

4T2 NOLANSIMS WARLOCK WEARS OUTFIT [SFS | MF] - for tm-am, but elder enabled - 5820 polys, all morphs - 15 swatches with tm repo'd to am - categorised as everyday/formal/outerwear - paired with 4t2 bg oxford fringe, converted by me

4T2 NOLANSIMS MADAME MYSTIQUE OUTFIT [SFS | MF] - for tf-af only - 8234 polys, all morphs - 15 swatches with tf repo'd to af - categorised as everyday/formalwear - paired with 4t2 @madlensims sonata heels, converted by me *note: the original had shoulder straps, but these were wonky and i couldn't bone-assign them properly... so i yeeted them. think of it as a stylistic choice? if you know a way to convert the outfit with the straps, PLEASE DO, i'm so sad that i couldn't include them! @paluding has added the straps back to the outfit!! MAJOR thanks to them, grab the updated meshes here!!

4T2 NOLANSIMS BORROWER'S OUTFIT [SFS | MF] - for tm-am, but elder enabled - 5041 polys, all morphs - 15 swatches with tm repo'd to am - categorised as everyday/outerwear - paired with 4t2 gp04 button boots, converted by me

if there are any issues that you find with this set, please don't be afraid to let me know! happy simming, and when you download this, do keep in mind,

Love, ~ Ky 💗

[tinydefector]

The Rung transfluid headcanon 😵‍💫 I already drink those daily 🤭

Could I offer up Sunder as being the new Monster Ultra flavor: Fantasy Ruby Red?

Oh the amount of headcannons I have over the transfluid atm is insane. I'm working on a Swerve fic for it atm. I wasn't actually expecting ,y silly shit post to get so much traction over the bots XD

So where I am in Australia energy drinks are limited in what you can find and today I'm in one of the cities so gonna see what lovelies I can find.

I had to go look up that monster and kinda went down a rabbit hole for Sunder and Rung

--------

Firstly. Rung

The first time Rung gets oral from you, it's just to blow off steam after a day, which just didn't turn out well. Man gets put through the ringer a lot with watching everyone else's mental health that sometimes he forgets to look after himself.

He's lent back in his chair venting softly one servo on the back of your head optics half lidded as he just watches, after all you had offered to help with stress relief after hearing a rumour from another human on board.

Rung is extremely high strung, so when your lips and fingers rotate between teasing his spike and pressing your face into his valve, he begins to figure something up.

It's only once he overloads and he's there optics closed debating getting up to clean up that he can still feel you eagerly cleaning up the mess.

And he just gets fixated on watching as you lick up his spike, transfluid covering your tongue and lips

He thinks its a one time thing until two days later he has you back between his thighs working him up for another overload and when he pulls you away because he doesn't want to make a mess and the protest you put up. Begging to taste him again

It is eventually a subject he takes to not just the medics but also the scientist, quite worried about the effects of it since Transfluid is. A by product of Energon. He learns that.

___

-no it isn't harmful to humans the same way energon is.

- aslong as you can limit your human on how much they consume as it can eventually give them energy sickness if they have to much 5-6 litres in a 24 time stamp

-the human body needs time to flush it out. Because it works very much the same as energy drinks if you have to much it can stop your heart or give you cardiac problems

-it's quite additive and companionable to human caffeinated drinks, and when the bots realise that there us a full meeting about the effects.

- energon seems to get converted into a very similar thing to taurine which is an amino acid containing sulphur but alot of the minerals and nutrients that Cybertronians live off from their treats, food sources and energon what adds in all the other things.

-Perceptor and ratchet discovered that Transfluid is better for human consumption than energy drinks not by a lot but more the fact you can consume more of it with less problems.

- and each bot seemed to have different 'flavours' and it becomes a full thing of asking their partner what they taste like. And eventually the 'flavour mods'

________________

And on the Case of Sunder I present to you these monsters as an offering as well.

So we have

Sunder : rehab strawberry lemonade/Ultra ruby red

Overload : rehab recovery watermelon

Senator shockwave: rehab green tea

Elita one: rehab pink lemonade

Chromia: rehab protean

Wheejack: rehab tea + lemonade

Wings : rehab gojo tea

Let me know if you would like to be added to tag list (tagged for every fic)

[orikiys]

🔖 、 A LETTER TO MY EX

ᘛ 𓏧     ࣪    𖠵 희승 ☓ fem!reader. ꔪ ﹏ ᘒ angst implied exes warning loneliness can’t-move-on-ex not proofread & 798 words

remember the first time when we asked each other our favourite colours? i feel like yours has changed drastically. from blue to orange then back to blue and now? what is your favourite colour now? i forgot i can’t ask you that anymore. i don’t have the authority to ask. who am i to you now? just the past that you’re trying to forget so hard? i remembered another thing, i remembered the way you would convert time differences just so you could remind me to eat on time, to take my multivitamins on time, to give me a good luck message an hour before i left home, just so i didn’t feel alone.

now all i feel is dread. i’m surrounded by it. engulfed within the cores that no matter how hard i try to escape, an image of you never fails to pop up in my head. when i go to work, i see myself glancing at my phone out of habit as i used to when you texted me ‘have a good day!’. i still remember the first time you called me, i even remember the place where i picked up your call. it’s silly, it’s childish even, but i find myself walking down to that place sometimes and wondering what would have happened if i never picked that call? would we still be dating? would we still be in the phase where we asked each other our favourites?

you might not know this, but i added your city to my weather app a month after we broke up. it marked exactly a month since i’ve stopped receiving your phone calls, since i’ve stopped receiving any text messages from you. exactly a month since i’ve stopped knowing you. but i knew that no matter if it's been a month or five months, hating you might be the hardest journey. i still check the temperature of your city every day. but i have to stop myself from reminding you to carry an umbrella with you, because i don’t know where to find you anymore. you’ve gone. you’ve gone somewhere far away that even if i try to trace those steps they’ll just lead me to nowhere.

i still remember when i made snow angels and sent it to you. you called me a real life angel. upto this day, i can still see the shy smile on your when that ‘angel’ converted into a nickname. but now? even hearing that word anywhere makes me go into a deep hypnosis of what it felt like dating you. it felt complicated. each day i felt different emotions. one day i would be re-reading your texts a hundred times till they’re embedded into my brain and on other days i would be cursing you out for reasons i don’t wish to remember.

dating you had that spark in it, until it didn’t. until it just felt like carrying a burden all to myself. it felt suffocating to even open your texts just for me to see a simple ‘ok’ or just for me to see you’ve left me on read, again. just the way you left me all alone by myself. i thought we were special? i thought we were meant to be? but guess it was just me.

i tried to scab the areas you hurt, healed and then hurt again. but how could i scab my heart? it’s too precious. too fragile. but clearly it didn’t even take you a single regret when you broke that heart of mine. you were like the song that was always stuck in my head and like the words i never had a filter on. you just kept flowing all around me, making me lose myself into a tangled mess. i ended up embracing that mess in hopes you would call me your lover again.

i still wonder how it all happened. how the invisible cracks began to spiral the way more quickly until we could no longer bridge with words or actions. we started doing the bare minimum for each other and felt that it was enough. it wasn’t some sort of god’s plan but maybe it was all written in that book of fate because the more i think about it, the more i feel that this breaking apart couldn’t be fixed no matter how much the two sides tried to. except, none of the sides tried. we just stopped caring. there was no realisation until i felt you slip away from my grasp. until i had realised that i’d been wrapping my arms around something that was gone. a sense of nostalgia. perhaps the faded away moments. but i knew that i would answer if you reached out again. no matter the years it took. but i won’t ever forgive you for the way you threw that relationship out your head like an empty piece of cardboard lying at home. i won’t forgive unless i forget.

sincerely,

your angel

[adobe-outdesign]

I am so late to this but I had only just realised Neopets added new gray nostalgic styles with brand-new artwork for combos that don't exist pre-conversion! Do you have a favourite out of them?

(I already did the main grey review here before the new pet styles were released.)

Even as someone who enjoys customization, I think the execution of it was pretty poor. It definitely should've been that you could freely switch between the UC design and the converted design at any point, and the option would exist for pets that were painted after conversion instead of it being a thing you had to grandfather into. Likewise, I'd argue that TNT should've done new UC designs for colours that used to get special poses even after customization, so you wouldn't be losing the beautiful art.

It took the NC Mall and 17 years, but new TNT finally wised up and switched all UCs over to purchasable NC pet styles. Originally it seemed like they were only going to include pre-existing UCs; then, it seemed like they'd do pre-existing UCs plus some other pets with old art but no UCs; and then, finally, we learned that TNT would be giving pets that didn't even have old art styles. This is a great idea, as it gives the pets that didn't get a chance at unique art (Lutaris and Vandagyres being good examples) to have some. Plus the converted versions still exist, so it's just more designs for everyone.

(Pictured: Two UC/styled grey pets with pre-existing old art.)

The most interesting part about these new styles is watching new TNT trying to mimic the classic Neopets' art styles. There's no hard rule as to how old Neopet art worked (because different artists worked on different pets), but the following are what I'd consider the most consistent and important points:

Shading: Hard-lined cel-shading with only one or two layers. Generally high-contrast, especially for grey pets. Sometimes there'll be a small amount of highlights, but not always.

Lineart: Not too thick or too thin with natural weight variation.

Design: Not always present, but often times will include fun little plays on the original design like the Yurble's uncurled ears.

Pose: Easy to read with a good sense of motion. Matches the proportions of the original basic colour pet.

Of course, just because a new pet style isn't quite on point doesn't make it inherently bad (though I personally like the on point ones more, and have highlighted the best in that regard below). The new grey Xweetok style is pretty off compared to an actual UC; like, here's the old sad blue Xweetok pose, which is somewhat similar to it:

You can easily see that there's way too much detail in the shading and highlights (highlights too thin/plentiful, shading too hairline and layered too closely together), and the proportions and design details are also way off model (eyes missing the black "liner" at the back; head way too big; paws too big; ears slightly too big). But dang, it's absolutely adorable, and much much better than the converted version, which looks vaguely ill. It's a good example of how much personality a style can add.

Favorite (New) Species:

Blumaroo: BROKEN HEART FEET. BROKEN. HEART. FEET!! That's such a wonderful detail, and 100% feels like something a UC version would've had. The pose is also really good, and the shading and lineart are pretty accurate (the lines are just a smidge too thick, but obviously not actually a problem).

Bruce: Another pretty good pose with excellent lineart and shading (might be the same artist for this and the Blumaroo)? It's adorably mopey and little things like the extra chubby cheeks and bigger bow add a lot.

Hissi: The shading's not quite as accurate as the above two (one too many layers on the wings, which are also a little too fluffy relative to the non-converted Hissi's wings), but the pose on this one is perfect and really feels like something that existed back in the day. I really like the eye shape in particular and how it affects the entire upper brow, so to speak.

Least Favorite (New) Species:

Bori: Sorry, Bori, but you're not quite right. There's just a lot of things slightly off with this one, like the shading (WAY too much fur detailing that doesn't flow with the actual lineart fur; too low contrast; highlights too minimal in areas like the tail fur). Like I said above, accuracy doesn't matter if the design and pose are good, but that also feels off here. The pose is just kind of strange, like it's about to be smacked or something, and the head is like... off, like it's too far down and too far in in a way that makes it look like it has no neck. It's still got a lot more personality than the converted though, so that's good.

[sensitively-taken]

five things i hate about summer (and the one thing i love about it: you) — huening kai | teaser

synopsis. As far back as you can remember, you've hated summer and all it brings. The heat, the sweat, the sand that gets everywhere—you hate it all and you almost wish the season didn't exist. However, when your best friend takes you on a trip to Muuido Island, an island full of history and memories for him, you realise that while there are many things you can hate about summer, there's only one thing you can love about it—him.

pairing. best friend!huening kai x fem-presenting!reader ft. other idols in the full fic!

genres/tropes. best friends to lovers, fluff, romance, 5+1

warnings. none in the teaser!

word count. 2.1k est word count. 15-18k date. tbd

taglist. send me an ask to be added to the taglist for this fic!! ♡

notes. after another year and some more inactivity on this blog, i am back!! and i'm back w a teaser bc i feel like dropping a full fic out of the blue would be a bit . strange so here's a teaser for an upcoming huening birthday fic!!! it's based on this drabble which i've been saying i would expand into a full fic for like . 2 years now. but it's here now so! yay!! anyways, enough rambling from me, i hope you guys enjoy this teaser and it excites you for the full fic!! ♡♡

Most people think of Huening Kai to be like the sun. Bright and warm. Bright in the way that when you look at his wide smile you can’t help but smile too, shield your face a little, in the face of such a gleaming grin. Warm in the way that he draws people in, pulling them in effortlessly and with so much joy.

As his best friend of nearly eight years, you’re supposed to find it hard to disagree.

And yet you do.

Because with the sun beating down on you, glaring harshly in your direction as you make your way to Huening’s car, you look up to find Huening smiling softly, kindly–nothing at all like the harsh sun you know too well. He squints, dark lashes fluttering against the flushed apples of his cheeks, and with every impatient step you take towards his car, his slender eyes only crinkle up further, softening the sharp edges of his face. Before you even open the door to the passenger’s seat, his eyes have disappeared into little crescents and there’s a full-blown smile on his face. 

Dropping your duffel bag on the seat behind you, you slide into the seat and close–slam–the door shut, huffing all the while. You don’t even have to spare the blond a glance to know he’s holding back a laugh. 

“Oh, fuck off.” Your words are punctuated by a harsh flick of your sunglasses down your face, settling to perch them down low on your nose where the least amount of sweat has formed.

At first, it’s a snort. A quiet, unruly sound that tiptoes around the silence you’ve imposed. Then, much to your annoyance, a few, low chuckles follow. As you silently simmer, both figuratively and literally, the chuckles increase in volume, eventually escalating to a wholehearted laugh that has Huening tipping his head back, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he does. 

You simply cross your arms over your chest, immediately regretting the action when the fold of your skin against itself only heightens your awareness of the sweat oozing out of you. “Yes, Huening, would you like to share what you found so funny with the rest of the class?”

“N-no,” he clears his throat and straightens his back at the sound of his last name, running a hand over his face to compose himself, “Not a single thing funny at all, ma’am.”

“Mmm,” you hum, ignoring his eyes burning holes into your outfit, “that’s exactly what I thought.”

Silence ensues in the car once more, as Huening hesitantly puts the key in the ignition and the vehicle slowly comes to life with a steady hum. It’s an old thing, a Kia convertible from the 90’s that his dad had gifted him for his 19th birthday. The red paint on the exterior is chipped away in certain parts and the dark seats have certainly seen better days. Nearly every time he’s taken it out for a ride, it’s either broken down in the middle of the road or not even started at all, so why exactly Huening thinks it’s a good idea to attempt a nearly three-hour road trip in the old thing you simply cannot understand.

As he’s about to pull out of your university parking, he spares you one last glance, forcing his lips into a taught, straight line. “Are you sure all… that’s necessary? 

You roll your eyes, tapping a finger on the inside of your elbow impatiently, as you gesture at yourself slowly. “Yes, of course, Hyuka. Look, I’ve got the wide-brimmed hat to block out the sun’s rays, obviously. Then I’ve got the shades to protect my eyes and the fan to well fan myself and–”

Huening calls out your name, raising a brow in your direction. “I’m clearly not talking about all that, I’m talking about all that, like the three layers of shirts you have on right now… Do you want to die of heatstroke?”

Pausing at his words, you realise you do in fact feel yourself getting hotter. An uncomfortable warmth, prickly and wet, has spread throughout your entire body, a sensation you only become more aware of with every brush of fabric against your skin. Maybe he’s right. Maybe the three layers are making you a bit too hot and a bit too sweaty, but the slow grin spreading on his lips incites a strange stubbornness within you.

“Actually, Hyuka,” you start, quickly dabbing away at the beads of sweat forming on your hairline, “More layers in hot weather is good, y’know. The more clothes you have on, the better your protection from UV rays is because–”

“They absorb the UV rays and stop them from reaching your skin,” he drones, interrupting you and finally pulling out of the parking spot. His smile only grows wider at your brief, annoyed sigh in response. “At this point, I think I could recite everything you’ve ever said about the sun and its UV rays. I’ve been fully indoctrinated.”

Your eyebrow twitches. “Indoctrinated? Wha–”

“I mean, that’s not bad,” he starts lightly, making a point to tap the sunglasses resting on his head, “Just maybe don’t go as far as covering yourself in three layers from head to toe? So, you don’t like… overheat and die, you know?”

You pause again, only becoming more and more aware of the prickling sensation of sweat clinging to your neck, your back, anywhere where your skin folds and creases. Once again the look on Huening’s face makes you want to keep the layers on for a little longer, but at the feeling of your head spinning slightly, you begrudgingly decide against it.

You begin to strip.

Removing your hat and shades from your head and setting them on the dash in front of you with your fan, you begin peeling off the excessive layers on you. Much to your annoyance, you hastily remove your white, long-sleeved shirt and spare it a glance to see that it’s practically damp with obvious sweat stains dyeing the shirt a darker white at the pits. Already, you can feel the beginnings of a cool breeze rush down your back, blowing at the white linen shirt you have on underneath. The urge to sigh aloud is strong, but Huening’s smug gaze on you is stronger. 

You settle for a contented hum as you begin undoing the buttons on your linen shirt, failing to notice how your best friend’s gaze on you is faltering. The navy blue tank you have on underneath is all but drenched, stained with the sweat that’s been trailing down your back all this while, but you still rip your button-up off eagerly and toss the two shirts in the back with your duffel bag. Picking your fan up again, you fiddle with one of the straps of your tank over and over, picking at the elastic hitting your skin and eliciting a loud snap.

Abruptly, you’re jostled forward as the car comes to a startling halt at the stoplight. 

“What the fuck?” you exclaim, turning in your seat to face Huening. The blond, on the other hand, is staring straight at the road ahead of him, his grip on the steering wheel tight. You snap the strap of your tank into place once again, as you sit back in your seat, missing how the knuckles of his fingers go white. “Don’t suddenly stop like that or I’ll think this car is finally giving out and get an Uber back.”

“I just… I just didn’t see the stoplight coming up,” he says, voice trembling and thick. He sneaks a peek at you out of the corner of his eyes and does a weird thing with his mouth where the corners pull up but the rest doesn’t. “By the way, I didn’t think you were, um, were literally gonna strip.”

You place your fan in front of your face again and lean back in your seat, closing your eyes. “Hm, why? Do you have a problem with it? Should I go back to my three layers and, how’d you say it, ‘overheat and die?’”

The car moves forward again, slowly climbing up to its previous speed. As it does, the wind picks up again, weaving through your hair and sending a chill breeze down your arms. It’s cool enough that you can put your fan away in your bag, so you twist in your seat to pocket it and retrieve a cream in its stead. With a loud splurt, you begin squeezing the cream out of its long tube and rubbing it on your arms.

You nearly miss Huening’s quiet and feeble ‘no’ that he mumbles out. You turn back to him, about to ask him what he’s talking about, when he cuts you off to ask–

“What is that?”

“Hm?” You raise the tube up. “This?”

He nods, eyes still on the road in front of him.

“SPF,” you reply, now moving to spreading the cream on your legs. It’s only when you dip down to roll up your linen pants and spread the SPF on your bare skin that you notice Huening’s ears are burning red. As you come up and place the cream on the dash, there’s a small smile on your lips. “Looks like you need some yourself.”

“Hm, what?” he asks, turning to face you for a moment and you gasp as you catch the sight of his face. It’s flushed a deep, splotchy red all across his cheeks, the dark rouge dusting his nose a light pink and staining his ears a bright crimson.

Without thinking, you reach out to him and grab his right ear, carefully rubbing the skin there. Focused on scanning his face, you miss his slight shiver. “Your entire face is red, even your ears.”

“O-oh,” is all he says, leaning away from your touch but not saying anything about it. As if he can feel your eyes burning into him, he concedes, “I-I guess I’ll put some on when we get there. I mean, it’s just a two-hour drive.”

“Two hours too long.” You leave his ear alone to lightly pull at the sunglasses on his head and readjust them over his eyes. “I still don’t understand the appeal of driving all the way to the island. I mean, we could’ve taken a bus.

“Imagine that?” you ramble on, “Sitting down in an enclosed vehicle with fans everywhere. Maybe even getting a little nap in. Not having to worry that the vehicle you’re in will break down at any moment, leaving you stranded in the middle of nowhere.”

Huening snorts at that. “We haven’t even left Seoul yet.”

“My point is,” you continue, shooting a pointed glare his way, “I don’t get the appeal of road trips. Especially in the summer. Like, you’re all cramped in a tight space for hours, the sun makes you sweat like a pig, the aircon barely does anything to cool you down, and don’t even get me started on gas station bathrooms.”

You groan at the mere thought of the dreaded bathrooms and Huening snorts once again. 

He tilts his head in your direction, the beginnings of a smug smile on his lips. “Well, if you hate road trips so much, then why are you here, hm? Why go through being ‘cramped in a tight space for hours, sweating like a pig, and having to go to gas station bathrooms’ if you hate it so much?”

Yawning, you pick up your hat and shades from the dash and settle them in their respective places on your head and face. “It’s for you, of course. How could I ever miss my favourite boy’s birthday?”

You say the words simply, so matter-of-factly because they’re true. There’s no one else you could imagine yourself waking up at eight AM on a Friday to go on a road trip for besides your best friend, Huening. You don’t know if it’s because of the way he’d already adjusted the passenger seat perfectly for you or because he got an assortment of your favourite drinks in a cooler you’d noticed next to your duffel bag, but all you know is that the moment he’d called you to ask if you’d go to an island off Incheon to celebrate his birthday, you’d said yes without giving it a second thought.

Still, your words catch Huening off guard, obviously so as, instead of teasing you about your rare moment of honesty, he turns bashful, looking out his window and trying to conceal a boyish grin you can clearly see through his side view mirror. You wonder why that is as you settle fully into your seat.

feedback & reblogs are welcome and appreciated!! ♡

copyright 2024 sensitively-taken, all rights reserved. no translations or reposts of any form allowed.

[celestialspritz]

☢️ade aura style 3 4t2☢️

welcome to part 2 of mine and my sweetie pie darling @socialbunny's cc collab! we have converted ade aura style 3 (!!! @blackswan-sims even though i realised i did the wrong number shh) and he retextured in poppet, and i retextured in my personal colours and textures. big thanks to dirk for helping with the simpe stuff while my pc and simpe were in intensive care

bodyshop pics under the cut and included in the rar, but on the preview, the right is poppet and the left is my hair texture.

cu-eu (poppet v2 has elders but mine dont because. im stupid) 13k polygons

dl @ sfs

credits - ade, poppet

my colours ^^^

poppet colours ^^^

[capriclonus]

hi, i love your fics and have flown through them! any recs for others?

Hi, first off, thank you so much that is so sweet!! I am honoured you have read all of my work and enjoyed them.

As for recs, I don't have nearly as many as I should because I don't read nearly enough fanfiction. But I'll give a few of my favs. I'm adding a cut-off cause there's actually more for me to recommend than I thought. My absolute, absolute favourites are marked in purple.

Shadowzel:

True Silver - mylordshesacactus. M, with a lil smut. One-shot. A famed piece of work in the Shadowzel community and for good reason. It is so beautiful; I think this the best characterisation of Lae'zel I've ever seen. Its a comforting post-game piece, about Shadowheart riding to the Astral Plane with Lae'zel and figuring out parenting together.

though i burn, how could i fall? - Jazzfordshire. E, some smut. One-shot. Shadowheart and Lae'zel fall in love during the game, rewritten with a lot of beauty and passion and direct quotes from the game. Very tender. The first Shadowzel fic I ever read. It was amazing.

Born Again - realdustybones. So far, M. Ongoing. I was hooked on the first paragraph. Post-game, Selunite Shadowheart ventures to the Astral Plane to seek help from Lae'zel, leading the rebellion with Orpheus and Voss, as she has become pregnant with Shar's heir. Amazing description, amazing characterisation, and very intriguing plot.

to feel love (like a sinner) - mermaiddrunk. E, just very smutty. One-shot. Okay, so this is a sex pollen fic. But its got a lil twist. And the atmosphere and longing in this fic are amazing; the relationship between the two is also very well done. There's a bit where Shadowheart jokes about an owlbear that I love. And also its just v hot smut soooooo

An'geth - tieflingliker. E, lots of smut and kink. Complete. Based during the game, Shadowheart and Lae'zel have the famed Knife Scene and realise they have one thing in common: they both have a chastity belt for devotion to their respective Gods.

Losing My Religion - Rina114. E, lots of smut and mild kink. Ongoing, last updated in Jan. Two lonely gals, abandoned by their goddesses, seek that reverence in each other. Lovely. Shadowheart teaches Lae'zel to 'let go,' shall we say.

The Favourite Princess of Murder and Loss - Heckpup. E, violent and dead dove. One-shot. Shadowheart is the chosen of Bhaal and Shar alike. She puts Lae'zel through the torture. Not for the faint-hearted and very fucking tragic. But I do love my angst; fics being able to make me feel so much pain is very talented and reminds me I am an itty bitty baby human.

I Wanna Be Your Dog - meowff. E, lots of smut and horniness and longing. Ongoing. Last updated Nov. Maintenance worker / cam girl porn set up. Shouldn't work nearly as well as it does, but it is a masterpiece. Amazing description. Amazing modern characterisations. Has one of my favourite descriptions of Shadowheart, comparing her to old oil portraits. Beautiful. And, yes, very hot.

Bleeding Hearts - calorem. E, some smut. Ongoing. Last updated March. I've only read the first 3 chapters of this but its amazing so far. Fake dating Au with a dashing of murder and intrigue. We are all hungry for fake dating aus, lets face it.

Gone. - teiflingliker. M, pure fucking tragedy. One-shot. Selunite Shadowheart waits for Lae'zel, still loyal to Vlakiith, to come home. I just read this and oh boy do I need a cuddle. So sad. So beautiful. So hard to get through. Just so tragic.

Now, there are loads more amazing Shadowzel fics out there that I simply haven't had the chance to read. Cellphish, ToriWritesStories, larissel---everyone on the Shadowzel server does amazing work. They are all very passionate writers. Read any of them!

Other Pairings:

Dame Aylin's Home for Wayward Girls - SheOfBadIdeas. Shadowheart/Aylin/Isobel. E, very tender smut and lots of fluff. Very minor angst. Complete. What can I say about this fic? Converted me to the OT3 instantly. It is so tender and loving, and respectful and funny and healing. The characterisation, descriptions....it's all amazing.

Be My Comfort - MiPur. Shadowheart/Tav. E, tender and longing galore. Ongoing. Shadowheart works as an escort at Sharess' Caress, based in modern day. She meets Naivara, who hires her, and there's an immediate and intense connection between them and Shadowheart does not know why. Just very intriguing fic that has me trying to figure out what's going on. And for real, it is very tender. And we have Nym, who is a rare character in BG3 fics!

broken glass to diamonds - within_a_dream. Shadowheart/Aylin/Isobel. E, kink and mild smut but no sex scene. One-shot. Look, I read the 'human furniture' tag and I clicked on it without hesitation, ok? Its a nice lil one shot.

Break You In My Image - QueenMills. Shadowheart/Viconia DeVir (but also not really). E, dead dove. Complete. I've posted about this in an ask I received. The writer is just so smart and poetic. Its about Shadowheart's time at the cloister as an adult, immediately before she leaves on her mission to get the githyanki artefact. Its not for the faint of heart, though, because it is messed up (in the best way possible, you could analyse this fic for a literary essay I s2g).

Haunt Me. Love Me. Take Me Home. - QueenMills. Shadowheart/Shar. Shadowheart/Viconia DeVir. E, dead dove and strong themes of alcoholism, drug use, suicide. Ongoing, last updated Feb. Again just fuuuuuuuck, man. Shadowheart, messed up after her divorce from Lae'zel (and fucked up from an abusive relationship with her mother Viconia) goes to therapy. She falls in love with her therapist. Her therapist? Shar. Modern au. This author is a genius. I seriously feel like I'm reading a poem when I'm reading it; their writing style really gets you into the mindset of POV, and it's beautiful and fucked up.

Oh also, I like a few works by anotheropti - just read anything by them and you'll enjoy it. They got a lot of kink and I very much appreciate that. Most work centres Shadowheart/Tav.

And, obviously, I'm just going to say you should read any and every F/F Dark Justiciar fanfic that exists. The complexity and depths of her character are tragic and beautiful and amazing. And sadly I HAVEN'T READ ENOUGH OF THEM BECAUSE I'VE BEEN TOO BUSY WRITING MY OWN. (also pls pls pls people write more f/f dj shart fics I'm on my knees begging, I need more of this like the blood in my veins)

[sandyca5tle]

Slime HRT - 14 Months

Slime time again my good folks (I really ought to start making more slime puns)! I’m here again with the 14 month update and things have continued to get gooier

Firstly: No more bones!! In my arms and legs at least, and gods that’s been wonderful just being able to freely move my limbs around however I want. Obviously beforehand, while my bones were still there, I could move my limbs a bunch already (see the previous entry with puddle legs), but it just feels so much better and free-er now that they’re gone - it’s hard to explain properly. If I had to, I’d guess it’s not feeling my bones move around whenever I do stuff, so it makes it nicer to move. Also helps I don’t have to worry about losing my bones too now, so I am more willing/able to try out weirder shapes and motions.

Adding to this; it’s kinda strange, my arms no longer really feel ‘segmented’ like they did before. Humans (it really doesn’t make sense to include myself in that anymore, if it ever did) have a very defined forearm and upper arm, but slimes, well, we (hehe, it’s nice to include myself in ‘slimes’) just kinda have limbs. My arm is just my arm, and honestly, it’s barely that distinct, arms and legs just kinda feel like the same thing, just in a different shape, and it’s really only the intellectual distinction that one is arms and one is legs. Even fingers are just kind of like, extra, tiny, limbs, which has been a kinda weird realisation to have and experience. Also: Elbows are a suggestion, and knees, given that my limbs are just kinda long pseudopods when it comes down to it, so they bend everywhere, not just at a designated point. It’s kinda funky being able to manipulate my slime like I can now ‘cause, on one hand, it just kinda feels like moving a muscle, but that muscle is connected to every other muscle in that area, and basically the whole limb is muscle.

Anyways, with all my new mobility, I’ve been practising my shaping, and I’ve actually gotten pretty good at it. I’ve been able to make things like spades, hammers and such on the ends of my arms, and I’ve been experimenting with different kinds of feet/legs as well, like mermaid tails and talons. I have tried making arm-blades and stuff too, but it turns out it’s actually quite hard to make sharp edges - so far I’ve only gotten about as sharp as a butter knife, and that took a lot of concentration. Turns out ‘sharp’ isn’t exactly a slime speciality

As for the rest of my body: the skin on my torso has all turned to slime now, due to the two-fronted assault from both my legs and arms it turned quicker than the limbs had individually. It’s still very weird see musculature through my goo, and I know it weirds other people out even more so, so I try to keep my torso as covered as possible, which absolutely sucks when it’s hot, although I have forgone covering for the sake of staying upright when it’s gotten really hot, even if I do now run a bit cooler than I used to.

On the note of the new/extra slime, I’ve actually tried to do some shaping using that, trying to give myself a tail. While I did have some extra slime thanks to most of my fat having been converted to goo, it wasn’t really enough to make anything more than a large bunny-esque tail - which was cute, but I’m looking for something a little longer and more prehensile. I guess I’ll have to wait for more things to dissolve to give me the substance to make myself a tail like I want..

It’s also worth adding that if a slime shifts something for long enough, it ends up sticking, kinda like muscle memory, but for shape. To that end, I’ve actually been practising keeping the claws and talons that I’ve learnt how to make, since I’ve found that they feel nice, even if they’re not quite perfect. My only issue, with the talons specifically, is that they make me taller, something which I really don’t need, but I’m hoping once I can shape my whole body I can adjust such things.

One last thing I’ve been able to do now, is that I can now move slime freely between all of my body - so I can easily reach things if I need to, just by taking the mass from somewhere else and giving it to one of my arms to make it longer. This too has contributed to this newer mindset of ‘I’m just one blob of slime, with shapes coming out of it that I have assigned functions’, a leg isn’t a leg when it’s a super long arm, so distinct anatomy is kind of shrinking away, even if 20 odd years of humanity says ‘an arm is an arm, and a leg is a leg’. This is only further worsened by the fact that I can also just make legs arms and arms legs, so yeah, ‘legs’ and ‘arms’ are really becoming just descriptors of limb functions for me.

That’s all to really report this time, nothing super new or surprising, just adjusting as I become more and more slime now! See you in the next update! Ps. thanks to the person (@bdigfreakingwooper) who suggested using a lint screen to help with the random crap that gets stuck in my slime, running that through my limbs has been really nice and does keep me very clean! Although occationally some of my slime does get stuck since it's not quite the same as water, but it's so minor it's fine.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Been loving the various comments 'nd stuff that people have written, and I'm glad that people seem to be enjoying this! If you want more slime HRT stuff @scrubbinn has just started their own that's neat, so you should check theirs out too over here.

First - Prev - Next

[someone-always-cares]

Progress update

Edit: laptop broke (hard drive issue), so thing will either be delayed a week or A Lot depending if my shit is recoverable. Back up your files regularly yall

Realised I should probably update yall on how things are going! Things are almost ready, just need to stich the book together together and finish a couple things, then I can order a sample of the book. I don't want to start the kickstarter until I have a book sample in hand that I'm happy with.

Admittedly looking like my original timeline isn't quite going to fit but such is life. its a close enough timeline so im not too annoyed just not in time to advertise it this weekend

to thank yall for your patience with this, here a sneak peek of the stickersheets made because I'm very happy with them and also because I just approved the proofs the manu sent me for those samples:

disclaimer: colours may vary depending on how the samples turn out (converting rgb to cmyk, my beloathed).

[id: two stickersheets, one of characters from chapter 1, and the other chapter two: chapter 1 sheets has: rami (civilian clothes), his whole team, tsunami, inkmaster, swarm, sound flood, and mori. as well as some smaller stickers: a sparkling wave, rami's logo, two diamond shaped sparkles, a small fireball, swarm's butterly, and three hearts with the ace, trans, and rainbow pride flags. chapter 2 sheet has: lewis and sound flood (both in civilian clothes), iris, faete, mindforce, and omen (super costumes). also several smaller stickers: mindforce's eye, a yellow and pink rose, a snowdrop, faete's sword, iris's notebook (with the words "stay safe"), a starry sky with city view, rami's hand holding a rose, and 5 blue pink and white hearts. end id]

also here's the cover (minus the blurb)

[id: image of the cover design, layed flat. aka the front cover is on the right side, back on the left, and the spin inbetween. designed to look like a corkboard with photos pinned to it, and red sring connecting things. on the back there are photos that are from various panels in chapter 1 and 2 (redrawn, specifically faete after transforming, cam readying her forcefield, lewis on the roof, and tsunami riding his wave. the back also contains enamel pins: a trans flag, an ace flag, and mindforce's eye. as well as the corner of a missing persons poster, a business card for "cullen's bowls 'n' bowls", and a blank sheet of notebook paper where the blurb should be. the spine has some starry washi tape with the title written on. the front has a piece of blue paper torn off at the end with the title on it, and stickers of a silver star and rami's logo. below is a large image of rami sitting in the water staring intestly at the viewer, light emerging behind him. around him, hands all strech out towards him, hands belonging to the significant character significant in chapters 1 and 2 of sac. end id]

so specifically what is left (no particular order):

spellchecking

adding page numbers to the bottom

finishing the rest of the not comic pages (aka the thank you note, about the author, deciation and the bit where im going to add names of people who pledged to the kickstarter) 75% done

character bios (admittedly optional i just want to do them)

bonus pages for art and sketches (i have collected all the art and sketches, its just deciding which ones to ue and which ones to save for next time because it makes more sense to put them with the more spoilery chapters 3-5 specific arts)

assembling these and sending a sample off to print

actually starting the kickstarter (once i have decived book sample back and am happy. i am not starting it without knowing 100% that i can fufill it right then and there)

(in the intrest of transperency: while these are all easy and mostly quick (aside from character bios. havent started that one yet), i also have some upcomign events that will have to take priority. that being a convention this weekend, next weekend, and my sisters wedding the weekend after (and the wedding gift, which is custom artwork of my sister and future brother in law. like a wedding painted but not on the day and also digital. so that will take up a bit of time after [another reason i wanted to get this done before then but ah well])

for real though one day i hope to be able to do art stuff full time because i am. so tired of doing a day job

also also there are versions of lewis and rami stickers in super outfits, they'll be seperate stickers

[id: drawings of lewis and rami, same as the stickers in the sheets, just seperate and in different outfits, the drawings have been placed close together, so it looks like thye're holding hands. end id]

you can make them hold hands :)

[daydreamtofiction]

Thou Shalt Not Covet // 5: Sacrifice

Contents | Part 4 | First Person Version [AO3]

Summary: (Priest!Benedict x Female Reader) Attending Sunday Mass leaves you confused and frustrated.

Word Count: 5.1K

Warnings: Strong language, irreverence, dark humour, adult & sexual themes, religious imagery, infidelity, explicit sexual content including: penetrative sex, using, light choking & domination by reader. Readers must be 18+

You woke to the weight of an arm draped across your stomach, a nose nudging your shoulder, warming your skin with gentle breaths. You fought to open your eyes, turning your head and blinking past crystals of sleep to find Alfie nestled against your side. 

When he slept, it was easy to forget just how much things had changed. In sleep he regained his softness; a pretty face unsullied by cocky smiles and dismissive eye rolls, a warm body that reached for you in search of comfort in the middle of the night. 

Each night you would go to bed so certain it was over, that the bond between you was broken beyond repair. Only to wake the next morning and find him holding you as he slept, and - just for a while - you wondered if there was something salvageable in it all. 

"Morning," he croaked.

You hadn't realised he was awake, startling slightly at the sound of his voice. "Oh, morning." 

"You were talking in your sleep." 

"I was?" 

"Mhm. 'Alfie, oh god, Alfie'," he mimicked your voice in a breathy moan. 

"Yeah right." You chuckled sleepily. "You wish." 

He laughed too, eyes still closed as he nuzzled his face against your arm. "You really were talking in your sleep though. I swear you said something about the ten commandments." 

"Really?" 

"Yeah. Think you're going to church too much." 

"Mm. Well I'm actually going again today." 

"Wow, you sure you're not planning to convert?" he joked. 

You gave a soft laugh. "I just like the atmosphere. And now Mara's looking to have the baby baptised there so I said I'd join her for mass." 

"What time will you be home?" 

"I'm not sure, why?" 

He shrugged. "Was just wondering. I feel like I've barely seen you since you started volunteering." 

You brought your hands up to rub your face, pressing the tips of your fingers into the inner corners of your eyes. "I mean, we weren't exactly spending tons of time together anyway." 

"Fair enough." He gave a resigned sigh and draped one leg over yours, cuddling closer. "Just one of those relationship ruts I suppose." 

Rut was not exactly the word you would have chosen. Demise, perhaps, collapse, unraveling, expiration, decay, ruin, death, failure-

"But we're good though, right?" he asked.

"Hm?" 

He placed a lazy kiss at the top of your arm. "Me and you, we're good?"

"Oh." You paused for a moment before nodding slightly, your words turning to mush in your mouth. "Yeah, I- We're... Fine." 

You'd grown so used to the guilt that the feeling had stopped fully going away. Instead it remained there in your chest, like a pilot light, always flickering as it waited for a reminder to ignite it again.

"Good," he said, kissing your arm once more, then your shoulder. "So what's your thoughts on a blow job then?" 

You turned to look at him, this time with an unamused expression. "I think it's a stupid name for something that involves no blowing whatsoever." 

He rolled his eyes, shifting closer, lips now pressing against your neck. "I meant what do you think to... you know..." 

"What? Sucking you off first thing in the morning? I'll pass, thanks." 

He drew the air in through his teeth with a quiet hiss, feigning offence, though you suspected there was some truth in it. 

"Okay," he said. "Well how about a quickie instead?"

You sighed. "I'm just... Not in the mood."

He surrendered, flopping back onto his side of the bed and staring up at the ceiling in defeat. 

"Sorry," you added. 

"It's fine. Would just be nice if you actually were in the mood from time to time." 

"If I was-? We had sex last week, Alfie, don't act like we never do it-"

"We don't. Not compared to how much we used to." 

You shook your head, breathing out a discontented laugh.

"I just mean, you complain I'm not attentive enough, but then I suggest sex and it's like you're not interested."

You sat up, twisting the top half of your body to face him. "Sticking your dick in something does not equal attentiveness."

"I was just trying to be a bit spontaneous, alright," he mumbled like a child. "Gina said girls like that." 

"Right, well firstly, I'm not a girl. And secondly, I'm not Gina." You climbed out of bed and began making your way towards the door. 

"Sorry, woman, whatever." 

You paused as you wrapped your fingers around the door handle. "Why are you getting relationship advice from Gina?" You turned to look at him. "Have you been talking to her about us?" 

He shrugged awkwardly. "Am I not allowed to?" 

"Allowed to what? Wait until I go out so you can sit around talking about me? About our sex life?" 

"And you're telling me you don't talk to anyone about those things?" 

You gave a shrug, your voice fading, as though the quieter you spoke, the less duplicitous your response would be. "Who would I talk to?" 

"I don't know, you seem quite pally with our lord and fucking saviour lately." 

"Oh, piss off Alfie." You opened the door and walked out of the room without another word.

When he slept, it may have been easy to forget. But the moment he woke, the fog was always quick to clear. 

There was a car waiting for you outside. It was expensive-looking, spotless, shiny, so big you wondered how it even fit down the narrow, congested road. You closed the front door behind you and hurried down the path, stopping when the passenger window began to roll down. 

"What the fuck are you wearing!?" Mara shouted from inside the car, a look of horror on her beautifully made-up face. 

You looked down at yourself, at your regular clothes that you thought looked quite nice, then back up to her. "What's wrong with it?" 

"Aren't you supposed to dress up? Like fancy?" 

"It's just mass," you said with a shrug. "No need really."

"Jesus. Right okay, whatever, just... can you come and get in, please." 

You walked to the back door, opening it to see a huge carseat strapped inside, baby Soleil squinting up at you in the sunlight. 

"Other side," said Mara. 

"Yep," you replied before shutting the door and walking around the car. 

You climbed in, glancing at your sister in the front passenger seat and pressing your lips together to hide a smirk. 

You could see now why your appearance had bothered her; her hair was swept up and decorated like she was attending a wedding, her makeup perfect, cream coloured dress immaculate. Her husband Nathan sat in the drivers seat wearing a shirt and tie, expensive watch peeking out from under the sleeve of his brown peacoat. 

"So we're overdressed, then?" he asked casually as he began to drive. 

"It's fine, people wear all sorts," you replied. "I tend to stick around after the service to help out so I like to be comfortable, I suppose..." 

"Seat belt," said Mara sternly.

You pulled it around you and clipped it in, glancing over at Soleil as she slept, her tiny body swallowed in a dress of flowers and frills, the carseat strapped and buckled to within an inch of its life. 

Your eyes flitted back to Mara, watching her flip down the sun visor and examine herself in the mirror. 

"You look nice," you said. 

"Mm," she replied, unconvinced. "I was already worried it might be a bit slutty-"

"Slutty?"

"Y'know, by the church's standards."

Nathan glanced at you in the rearview mirror as he drove. "She's worried she might be showing too much skin, whereas I'm worried she might burst into flames the second she sets foot inside."

You smirked.

She swatted his arm. "If Ellis didn't burn then I think I'm good." 

"Nice one, thanks," you scoffed. 

"How did you end up friends with a priest, anyway?" Nathan asked. 

"I started volunteering at his church. It's pretty self explanatory." 

"All sounds a bit kinky if you ask me."

"Nathan," said Mara sternly, before turning to look at you. "It does though." 

You rolled your eyes. "Is it not possible that I could just be doing something nice? Y'know, for the community?" 

"No," she replied bluntly. 

By the time you got to the church, the small carpark was almost full. You got out and walked ahead with Mara, leaving Nathan to wrestle with the baby's carseat alone. 

This was the most you'd talked in a while, the most time you'd spent in her company without feeling like she was counting down the minutes until she could get away. You wondered what had changed, if this was progress, or if it was all temporary. 

"Do my tits look okay?" she asked, high heels clacking against the path. 

You looked at her from the corner of your eye, before dropping your gaze to her chest. "They look fine..." 

"I mean they're not too... in your face? And they're not leaking, are they?" 

"No, they're not leaking." 

"Good, I wore two lots of breast pads today just to make s..." she trailed off as you reached the church steps. 

You watched as she stared up at the building, her face turning hard and angular as she ground her teeth, balling her hands into fists, squeezing and releasing, pressing her nails into her palms. 

"I don't do churches," she said quietly. 

You cleared your throat and swallowed. "Yeah, me neither." 

"What are you talking about? You said you come all the time." 

"Well I suppose this one's not so bad." 

She dallied on the bottom few steps. It reminded you of the first service you ever came to, how you'd stood outside for so long that you missed the entire thing. 

"Is it the incense-y smell?" you asked. "Because you get used to it."

"No, Ellis, it's not the-" She huffed. "Let's just get this over with."

You went inside and showed her the back pew where you usually sat, letting out a sigh when she ignored you and moved closer to the front. You begrudgingly followed, shuffling in to sit beside her. Nathan joined soon after, making you move up so he could sit down. 

It felt weird being there with them, like they were intruding on a fortress you'd built; a place that had been only yours for so long. This was your sanctuary, your reverie, and they were invading it. 

A bell rang, followed by June asking everyone to stand. You elbowed Mara and she reluctantly rose to her feet, looking around curiously as the entrance hymn began. You knew by now what that music meant; it meant Father Benedict was there, about to walk down the aisle with his candle bearers, make eye contact with you for a split second as he passed. 

Mara peered over her shoulder to the back of the room, finally getting a glimpse of him for the first time, before turning her head back to you slowly with a judgmental glare. 

"What?" you whispered. 

"Volunteering my arse." 

You furrowed your brow, shaking your head and shrugging your shoulders. 

"You-" she stopped suddenly when the congregation began to sing, pretending to mouth along with the words for a moment before leaning in to continue whispering. "You've not been coming here out of the goodness of your own heart. You've been coming here to perv. On that." She pointed at Father Benedict as he approached the altar. 

You gasped softly, placing a hand on your chest in feigned outrage. "I can't believe you think I'd do something like that." 

"I think you would absolutely do something like that."

You stared at her for a moment before sighing in defeat. "Look, it's fine, it's not like anything's going to happen. He doesn't- He's not-" You huffed. "He's a priest."

"Tall, sexy priest." 

"That's your opinion."

She scoffed quietly, pressing her tongue to the inside of her cheek. 

"Mara. I'm with Alfie, and I'm not a cheat."

"Hm." 

She'd never liked Alfie, and at first it seemed petty, nothing more than a shallow dislike, a clash of character. But perhaps she'd sensed something, like a dog able to sniff out a seed of cancer before it began to spread. 

"Look, I met him by chance," you whispered. "And he's become a good friend, that's it. I've been having a rough time and he's been supporting me through it." 

"Does he think you're religious?" 

You paused. "There's a chance he might think I'm... interested in converting." 

"Why on earth would he think that?" 

"Because I told him so." 

"Christ, Ellis," she hissed. "You can't-"

"In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit," Father Benedict's voice echoed through the chapel. 

"Amen," said the congregation in unison.

"Amen," you mumbled, sitting down along with everyone else. 

"The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Spirit be with you all," he said. 

"And with your spirit," everyone replied.

"With your spirit," Mara muttered distractedly, too busy looking at you; watching you watch him, like she was waiting for your face to give you away. 

"Brethren," he said. "Let us acknowledge our sins, and so prepare ourselves to celebrate the sacred mysteries." 

You tried to relax the muscles in your face; tilting your head a little, lips parting slightly, as though the softer you made yourself, the less she would be able to decipher, like a puzzle piece with no edges, a crossword without lines. 

But when Father Benedict glanced in your direction, you suddenly found your composure harder to keep. Though it was not from lust, but pure aggravation. Your brows came together, just for a moment, eyes narrowing as you watched him avoid your gaze. 

"I confess to almighty God," he began, leading a prayer. "And to you, my brothers and sisters, that I have greatly sinned, in my thoughts and in my words, in what I have done and in what I have failed to do..." 

In what I have done and in what I have failed to do. 

You'd never understood that part before - 'failed to do' - how could there possibly be sin in doing nothing? But you were starting to get it; realising how the moments when neither of you said anything were somehow the most dangerous. Maybe that was why he wasn't looking at you. 

"Through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault," he continued.  

The words burned, and there was a part of you that believed he wanted them to, like a searing reminder of your last conversation earlier that week. 

You sat in the passenger seat of his car, folding your train ticket back and forth like a paper fan and lamenting the extra money you'd spent on the return you hadn't ended up needing. The drive back from his old parish had been uncharacteristically quiet; Father Benedict insisting on taking you home, yet barely speaking, instead focusing on the road ahead as you watched the world rush by through the window.

The car rolled to a stop against the kerb, the engine cutting out as you looked over at your house. It was so quiet, no lights on despite the sun beginning to set, rainwater dripping from the broken gutter onto an Amazon package that hadn't been taken inside. 

You sighed and turned to Father Benedict, eyes falling to his hands as they remained on the steering wheel, anchoring him to it. 

"Well thank you," you finally said, pressing your mouth into a straight line smile. "I enjoyed today." 

"Good," he said, nodding politely. "Thank you for joining me." 

"No problem." 

You reached for the handle, forcing the stiff door open slightly when his voice made you stop.

"You asked if I sinned during my time away..."  

You glanced at him from the corner of your eye before slowly pulling the door closed again.

"Ask me..." he continued, his voice slow, controlled. "What you really wanted to ask me." 

"I... I don't-"

"Ask me."

You fell quiet, drawing in a deep breath through your nose and holding it in your chest, like you were trying to keep the words down, unwilling to let them surface. 

"Ask me, Ellis." 

You exhaled softly. "Did you... Break your vow of celibacy?" 

"No," he replied quickly, as though he knew all along what your question was going to be. "And I won't."

You chewed your lip for a moment before raising your eyebrows playfully. "Sounds like a challenge." 

But he didn't seem to find it funny. 

"That was a joke," you added.

His face finally broke, a soft laugh escaping his nose as he shook his head and looked away from you. "I can't," he said quietly.

"I didn't ask you to..."

"No, I know. I just- I needed to say it out loud, for myself."

"And for him?" You flitted your eyes towards the sky. 

He turned his attention back to you, eyes locking with yours as his grip tightened around the steering wheel, making your stomach burn with a deep, sudden heat. 

"You think I'm a test," you finally said. "That's what you meant, back at the church, you said god sent me to you."

He broke eye contact for a second, disappearing into his thoughts before returning to you with a softer, more amiable gaze. "Well, when said aloud like that it sounds awfully narcissistic of me." 

"Yeah, sort of does."

"I just... you have a way of looking at me-"

"Like you're not a priest," you said, repeating his own words back to him. 

"Yes." 

"Is that such a bad thing?" 

There was another long silence, his eyes never leaving you. 

"Yes." 

You slumped slightly against the back of the pew and let out a huff.

"May almighty God have mercy on us, forgive us our sins, and bring us to everlasting life," Father Benedict's voice echoed. 

"Amen," you muttered softly. 

Another hymn began and you groaned as everyone rose to their feet. You never sang along with the hymns. Never had; not here, not even in school assemblies as a child. Instead you would just move your lips to the song, only pretending to be part of it all.

Soleil began to fuss, finally stealing your sister's attention. You seized the moment to look over at him, your eyes catching his like they always did during his services. But instead of a smile, a pause or a shy bow of his head, he quickly looked away. 

You continued to watch him as he lead the congregation in prayer. The church fell silent, the pews transforming into a sea of stooped heads and closed eyes, all except for yours. You knew he could see you, despite pretending he couldn't. It was hard to miss you; right there near the front, back straight, eyes fixed on him.

"What did you mean when you said you've been having a rough time?" Mara whispered as the first reader stepped up to the ambo. 

You turned to look at her before shaking your head dismissively. "Nothing." 

"Tell me." 

"It's-" You stopped, distracted by the man's loud voice as he began to read. "It's nothing, honestly. Just... I've been feeling... stuck. I don't-"

"Is it because of Christmas?"

"No." 

"Because you know all of that, it was just... I was-"

"It's not about Christmas," you whispered through gritted teeth. "Trust me, you've blown up on me enough times in my life for it to be more traumatising when you're nice." 

"That's a horrible thing to say." 

You rolled your eyes, returning your attention to Father Benedict as he stepped forward again. 

"Thank you, Peter," he said, gesturing for the reader to go and sit down. "Now..." He paused, clearing his throat and gripping the ambo with both hands. "As I prepared my reading for today's Mass, I felt myself drawn to a certain verse from Corinthians..."

"We're very different people," Mara whispered. "You get on my tits, but it doesn't mean I want you to be miserable. You're still my sister." 

"It's not about Christmas," you repeated slowly. 

"It's easy sometimes," said Father Benedict. "To feel as though you are not in control. To feel that you are... Too weak to withstand the tests God puts before you." 

Mara huffed, leaning in to whisper. "What is it then? Money? Relationship? Have-"

"Ssshhh." You batted her away gently, your ears pricking with intrigue at the priest's words. 

"Which is why I've chosen to read this verse specifically," he continued, eyes falling to the bible in front of him. "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it."

You narrowed your eyes. And though he still hadn't looked in your direction, it was clear his words were not intended for anyone else but you, not really. 

"It's important we remember that the strength of our temptations - no matter how powerful, how irresistible they may seem - are never greater than the strength God provides us to resist them."

You gave a disgruntled scoff, louder than you'd intended, causing a few people to glance in your direction. His eyes flitted towards you too, connecting with yours in a glacial stare, and you suddenly felt yourself shrinking into your seat. 

"Sorry," you muttered to the people around you. 

He coughed into his fist before returning his grip to the ambo in front of him, the same way he'd clung to the steering wheel that evening. "So... Erm..." He stalled, as though the contents of his mind had leaked out of him, leaving him empty, vacant. He shook his head and blinked a few times. "Sorry, I- As I was saying..." 

"I take it you're the temptation," Mara whispered as she leaned into you. 

"Of course I'm not." 

Your back was starting to ache, the hard, wooden pew unforgiving of your bad posture. You rolled your shoulders, tipping your head from side to side as another collective prayer came to an end. 

You hadn't paid attention to anything since Father Benedict's reading, not even bothering to move your lips along with the hymns or mumble the prayers. 

God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

You felt a fire kindling at the base of your chest, turning the air in your lungs to steam as it left you in hot, irritated breaths. Was that really how he saw you? Something to escape? To endure? Were you really nothing more than a lesson to him? An annotation he could slip between the chapters of Corinthians and shut away on a shelf?

"May the Body of Christ keep me safe for eternal life," he said, taking a sip from a large chalice. "May the Blood of Christ keep me safe for eternal life."

People began to rise, shuffling out into the aisle and forming a queue as he stood at the altar. You watched as one by one they stepped forward, taking a wafer into their mouths, a sip of wine.

The strength of our temptations - no matter how powerful, how irresistible they may seem - are never greater than the strength God provides us to resist them. 

You found yourself rising from your seat, as though your mind and body had split into two separate entities; one frozen, ruminating, the other taking action. 

"What are you doing?" Mara whispered. "You're not Catholic." 

You didn't reply as you stepped out into the aisle and made your way to the back of the queue. 

It was like his words had drawn you from your seat; goaded you, teased you. Like he'd left a message for you between the lines of his readings, one that told you he wasn't going to give in, that you were something he was more than capable of resisting. But as you stood there waiting, the line slowly moving closer towards the altar, your mind and body regained their synergy, and they were both saying the exact same thing:

He thought you were a test. Perhaps it was about time you started behaving like one.  The woman in front of you stepped forward, receiving her communion and bowing her head before stepping aside, leaving nothing but empty space between you and Father Benedict. His lips parted softly as his eyes met yours, his body stilling for a moment in a blend of shock and confusion. 

You shouldn't have been up there. You both knew it. But he didn't stop you. Instead he remained silent as you stepped forward, his jaw tight, gaze searing as you slowly lowered yourself to your knees in front of him. 

You stared up at him through your lashes, the sight of him standing before you creating a wave of excitement deep in your stomach, rippling through your body with hair-raising shivers. The moment felt eternal, the air so thick it made everything around you turn blurry and quiet. But you didn't care. 

"Body of Christ," he said in a deep, husky voice, a reluctance in his tone that only you could hear.

You opened your mouth and slowly stuck out your tongue, never breaking eye contact with him as he took a wafer and placed it there, his thumb lingering, finger gently grazing the underside of your chin before he pulled away. 

Your heart was pounding, desire pooling between your thighs as you knelt at his feet, letting the wafer melt in your mouth, knowing he was picturing something else entirely sliding down your throat. 

You stepped through the front door and stripped off your coat, throwing it lazily over the banister before rushing up the stairs. Your skin felt hot, cheeks flushed, palms sweaty, but it was your core that burned hottest, as though it was completely engulfed in flames. 

You bounded down the landing towards your bedroom, opening the door to an empty room and an unmade bed, a crumpled church newsletter glaring at you from the bin in the corner. It was like he was everywhere, you could feel him everywhere right now; on your neck, your tongue, in the throbbing ache between your legs. You squirmed, pressing your thighs together for a moment before closing the door and walking to Alfie's room instead. 

You didn't knock, stepping inside and closing the door behind you, pressing your back against it as you looked at him. He was sat on the edge of his bed, fiddling with different lenses on his camera, failing to even look up when you entered the room. You didn't know if he was still angry about this morning or simply too engrossed in what he was doing to notice your presence. 

Right now, you didn't care. 

You walked over, standing in front of him and reaching down to take his face in your hands. You tipped his head back to look up at you, reminded of the way you'd looked up at Father Benedict earlier, how powerless yet simultaneously powerful you'd felt on your knees before him. 

"What-"

You interrupted him with a kiss, lips crashing against his in a desperate need to be sated. Your tongue slipped into his mouth, making him groan and set his equipment aside to place his hands on your waist. But the touch you felt didn't belong to him. 

You snaked your fingers impatiently to the hem of his t-shirt, dragging it over his head and throwing it away, your nails grazing the bare skin of his chest - Father Benedict's chest, so smooth and strong, shoulders broad, back slender and toned. 

"What's got into you?" Alfie asked breathlessly. 

"Shush," you dismissed, removing your own top before returning your lips to his. 

Your hands fumbled with his jeans, popping them open and trying to drag them down. He shifted his hips off the bed, letting them fall before reaching up and working to unclip your bra. You could almost feel Father Benedict's long, agile fingers making light work of it, peeling it from your body and taking your breasts in his palms. Those palms, usually pressed together in prayer, now squeezing and pulling and kneading, drawing moans from your open mouth. 

You undid your trousers and kicked them off, pushing him back onto the bed as you kissed him. He traced his touch down your bare back, squeezing your hips, and you could feel yourself burning hotter, his rough handling of your body exactly what you needed. You straddled him, feeling his solid erection waiting beneath you, and you wondered if he was hard today in the church, if seeing you on your knees, tongue out, waiting, was enough to leave him aching too. 

You felt fingertips between your thighs, slipping past the thin cotton of your underwear to dip inside you. A moan escaped you, the friction making you roll your hips. 

Alfie sighed with pleasure. "Fuck, Ellis, you're so wet-"

You pressed your index finger to his lips to silence him, reaching down to free his cock and wasting no time in placing it at your entrance. You closed your eyes as you sank down onto it, picturing your priest laying beneath you; dark curls messy and sticking to his forehead, eyes fixed on you, hands guiding the rock of your hips. 

You imagined the conflict; the forbidden words he would mutter to himself, the shame and regret that would just make him fuck you harder. You moaned, leaning forward to kiss him as you moved, feeling his lips trail from your mouth to your neck, making their way to your nipples as Alfie's always did. 

You placed a hand gently around his throat, pushing his head back against the bed. "Don't ruin it," you whispered breathlessly.

"Fuck," he groaned, too overwhelmed with pleasure to protest.

You began to move faster, sitting up and letting your head fall back, feeling your priest beneath you once more. He thrust into you as you ground your hips, the feeling so electrifying you felt it coursing through your veins. You were going to come, the realisation as shocking as it was blissful. You cried out, biting your lip to stop his name from spilling out as your rhythm stuttered, a deep, intense wave of pleasure ripping through you. 

You were shaking as you came to a stop, chest heaving, beads of sweat trickling down your back. 

"Oh my god," said Alfie with a breathy laugh. "I think that's the best sex we've ever had."

You opened your eyes to an off white ceiling, slowly bringing your head forward until you were looking down at the face of the man beneath you. A face you should have been glad to see, but it wasn't the one you wanted.  

Part 6

*Tags: @evelynrosestuff @thealleydog @lexlexigogh @allie131313 @simpingbestie @ironstrange1991 @witchoftheages @queerbee8 @swds @jyessaminereads @withalittlehoney @hunterofshadows04 @slytherindoctorsat221b @diabaroxa @phoebe221 @hai-kbai @downtownshabby @dara-of-qui-zi @unfilteredmoonchild @classicrebound @bigratbitchsworld @aphroditesdilemma @bloodyxsaint @ployavengersog1

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[incorrectmahabharatquotes]

I know the history of the word Hindu. I was simply using it to give you clarity.

You've made your perspective clear. Deflection and whataboutism are your weapons.

You are so quick to play your dalit card everywhere, but you forget that dalits were among the persecuted Hindus too. I never denied that the caste system is evil and needs to be gone completely. Why bring it up in a conversation where it wasn't even an issue?

You're so far into your leftie liberal mode that you don't even realise that you're here because of the efforts of fellow Hindus' efforts to abolish the caste system and bring in reservations to compensate for the oppression. It's still a work in progress but there's definitely progress.

Moreover, had this nation been running on the same values as Islamic rulers of the past who broke our temples, you'd be killed just for being a queer or being a Hindu who didn't convert.

Just look at the minorities in other Islamic countries.

But you won't, I know. Because hating fellow Hindus and denying history is more important for you. It's the cool thing to do these days.

One day you'll learn, hopefully soon. I wish you luck. 🙏

How dare you say Babasaheb Ambedkar was a Hindu when he died a Buddhist and swore to not die a Hindu. How dare you insist that the real people who worked towards societal change for women, Dalit and Adivasi people, like Jyotiba Phule and Savitribai Phule, did so at 0 cost of their 'Hindu' society. Savitribai Phule did not have shit flung at her every day by brahmins for you to say 'Hindu' as though they weren't the ones who opposed her attempt to educate girls.

How dare you, lastly, insist that Dalits are ALSO Hindu, as though they haven't been dehumanised and humiliated for centuries on end and prevented from entering temples out of 'Impurity'.

In all our arguments, I find it INCREDIBLY funny that you seem to always focus on Muslim invaders, but never at all focus on the kind of bullshit the British wrecked on us. I'll tell you why: its because the British were the ones to club ALLLLLLL these varied identities together under a wishy washy 'Hindu' label in censuses. Dalit people are also under this label BECAUSE OF CLERICAL LAZINESS.

And this shit worked PERFECTLY for Hindu Nationalists. The more uniform our 'identity' got, the better. But of course, caste was essential to the functioning of 'Hindu' society.

So I give you this chance to inform me: What kind of society acts like this? Why are Dalit children beaten in schools for touching the wrong water pot? And forgive me for assuming, but if you have a household help who comes by, why do you treat her in a way which is 'different' to your family? Why is your circle of friends the same 3 people from the same community? Why do we live in this kind of society? What morality are we functioning on? Tell me, without resorting to justifying henious acts by saying 'Dharma'. I dare you.

-Mod G

--------------------------------------------------

Hello again, Anon-Who-Has-Unfollowed-But-Is-Still-Here-Inexplicably,

Mod G actually replied to you before I did. You didn't say about their reply. That's fascinating. They answered your ask in a far more direct way so I thought adding the same thing would be redundant. Turns out, it wouldn't have been redundant because you didn't even read what they said. Who knew.

You know what? I actually did say what the conquerors did was wrong. I directly talked about it. That's not what-aboutery. Did you not even read that part? I said what they did was wrong and what you're doing is wrong too. (I'm saying it again because you seem to be under the impression that I'm not holding these historical figures responsible for their actions sufficiently enough for your taste.)

I talked about being dalit in terms of reclamation and reparation. It is directly related to the topic you were talking about. Sure, free to tell me that I should be grateful to my "fellow Hindus" and should express that gratefulness by shutting my mouth and not criticizing them when they're doing something wrong. Got it. All that work-in-progress you talk about but I should still know my place and not speak over savarna Hindus. Understood.

Newsflash, the said beloved Hindus will ALSO gladly kill me for being a queer, as you put it. Right now, in fact. We're not exactly a queer-friendly nation, if you haven't noticed.

You also seem to be under the impression that Hindus=Hindutva which is just a wrong assumption on your part. In fact, from all the replies we're getting it seems to me that the other Hindus disagree with your hindutva politics. What do you make of that?

But yes, I'm a filthy leftie liberal blah-blah. I'm hating Hindus because I said something they're doing is wrong. But all you do is keep talking about Muslims and Islamic countries and don't even wonder why.

-Mod S

[sculkapologist]

just in time for Halloween, I have finished: A SPOOKY CUSTOM PAINTING!!

well the timing was a coincidence but MAN, this has been a BIG project and I'm so excited to have one complete -- as you can see from my off-hand here, this is map art!!! I kept having the thought "wow I wish minecraft had more paintings" and then realised.... maybe i could make this happen....... process under the cut!

I really like the sort of ambiguous, compressed, pixellated look of a lot of the 1x1s and wanted to try to mimic that, so I designed this by making a simple drawing in Map Art Safe Colours, shrinking it down to 16x32, and then converting it to Map Art Safe Colours again to get the final picture I'd be making (and also adding a frame, so it'd look like a minecraft painting):

I was trying to stick to a flat map (i couldnt find any tutorials for staircasing that weren't just "and then plug it into a schematic program," and I wanted to try to do this by hand), which meant my palette was SUPER limited, probably the most difficult thing about creating this; there were a LOT of previous attempts that just didn't have enough colours available to let them shrink nicely. BUT THEN IT TURNED OUT the palette I was working from was accidentally all the LIGHTEST shades rather than the middle shade SO I HAD TO LEARN TO STAIRCASE ANYWAY

For anyone unfamiliar, the way the "shading" works on maps is that a block has a middle shade if it's the same level as the block north of it (flat), a lighter shade if it's taller than the block north of it, and a darker shade if it's shorter than the block north of it -- so in order to get a whole section to be The Same Lighter Shade, each "line" of the section must be taller than the previous one, leading to a staircase effect.

in order to make a 128x128 area into a 16x16 pixelart, each "pixel" is A FULL STACK of blocks in whatever colour, so HUGE shoutouts to @corruptedendermachine and @inkcryptid for gathering all these blocks for me! BOO MINED A TRULY TERRIFYING AMOUNT OF TERRACOTTA LMAO. And thanks to maf and @tinfoilsnow and phos for building the block-catching area underneath, and helping me tear the first map down to build the second piece!

While tallying up blocks, making a paint-by-number-looking key for myself to reference, putting out a Needed Materials List, and of course actually creating the art all took additional time, I put out the materials list and a call for help with block-gathering in mid-october... this took only a couple of weeks to build??? Admittedly I was VERY excited and focused on it haha.

I'm hoping to make more of these... there are two more designs included in the Needed Materials list that we just need to finish gathering blocks for, and I've made a few new designs utilising the Whole Palette now that I feel pretty confident that I understand staircasing, which I still need to tally up blocks for... so we'll see if I can pull those off!!

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for trying to get this camp into my religion?

I (25M) am a devout follower of a god which I unfortunately can't name or tell you about due to legal reasons. For the past five years, I've dedicated my life to spreading the name of my god everywhere I go and keeping him happy. The latter may or may not require human sacrifices, but trust me when I say this is all for Earth's sake.

This year after successfully converting a compound, I applied at this summer camp looking for more counselors. Just from the ad, I could tell that not only were the counselors miserable, but the kids were too. They were quite in need of help so I immediately went to apply in person.

The counselors were lovely. The place could use some cleaning, but I'm not one to judge how a struggling camp looks. I was hired on the spot and one of the two counselors, G, was so relieved I was here, she took a vacation break! I got to work as soon as possible and when the other counselor, D, introduced me the kids were quite rude. This made me realise that they needed some good ol' belief in life. I reassured D that I'd be able to get them to warm up to me before this summer ended, he believed me and left me in charge while he did my employment paperwork.

Now I won't bore you all with more details of my magic, but trust me when I say that these kids loved hearing about the ancient ones, the confederacy, and my religion. I got all of them, even the most resistant and defiant ones, to see the light. It was all going smoothly, I was on the right track of fulfilling my monthly quota of human sacrifices too when I accidentally drank the poison while getting really into a song.

Since then, I've been stuck in the mental hospital. Now that I've typed all of this down, it all does seem a little crazy. I was honestly just looking for validation from like-minded people that what I was doing was right. But now I see that to those who don't know about my religion, I probably seem dangerous or mentally unstable. However before casting your judgement, I want you to keep in mind that I'm just following every step of the plan detailed in the guide given to all followers of my religion that is on the same rank as I am.

[argentsunshine]

hey not doubting you at all, but do you have any specific proof that points to matpat being a plagiarist?

augh i had a whole thing typed up and Tumblr ate it

short version: there's been a lot of allegations for years. the hermitcraft one seems pretty cut and dry to me. he has also just stolen theories from the source material itself - when he made a theory on a series i shan't name, his whole theory was something explicitly canon in the books, and he doesn't acknowledge that once.

now for my own personal evidence. i consider this less "proof" and more "occam's razor says plagiarism, and the other explanation is that he's incredibly dumb". under cut because it involves fma and chemistry neither of which i can shut up about

so, here's the video in question:

I'd use more screenshots to prove my point here, but apparently game theory can't afford captions, so I'll just explain the old fashioned way.

Matthew is trying to prove that the Elric's formula for a human (water 35 liters, carbon 20kg, etc) is incorrect (ie. does not have the right elements in the right proportions to make a human.)

to do this, he has to convert the several compounds (water, ammonia, lime, salt, and saltpeter) into elemental masses.

first, he divides each element by its molar mass. so for water, that's 35,000g/(18g/mol)=1,942mol. this is correct. don't get used to it.

so saying you have a "mole" of something is kind of like saying you have a "dozen" of it - you know if someone has 2 dozen eggs, then they have 2x12=24 eggs, because a dozen means 12. moles are like that, except instead of 12 it's 6.023x10²³. so the moles we just calculated is the number of molecules of water that are in 35L - 1,942mol converts to ~1.17x10²⁷ molecules.

this next bit is where matthew goofs it. he says that to get from the number of water molecules to the number of oxygen atoms, you multiply the number of molecules by the percent of the weight of the water that is oxygen, so about 89%. i hope you can see why this is incorrect. (if you can't: each water molecule has one oxygen atom in it, so the number of oxygen atoms in the water is the same as the number of molecules of water, not 89% of it.) he then uses these incorrect figures to calculate the elemental masses. these are his final masses (which, for some reason, he doesn't show clearly):

but after a few jokes, he shows this table comparing the fma numbers to reality:

ignoring that the top ones are in g and the bottom in kg, you can see that he only gets the same numbers if he didn't have to do any conversion. somehow, hydrogen goes from just under 700g to 4.5kg. he doesn't explain why the numbers changed or where the new ones came from.

so, i did the maths myself (here's the full spreadsheet if you want to check my work):

(you'll note my "matpat mass" doesn't match either set. i was doing what he said he did in the video. i have no idea what else he did to get some of his numbers. i think the hydrogen one might be because he added the correct mass from ammonia to his incorrect water mass? the oxygen i have no idea because. matthew how is there less than 3kg of oxygen in 35kg of water, even ignoring the other oxygen containing compounds)

now some of my numbers are a bit off because of rounding errors, but you'll see that my numbers agree pretty well with the wikipedia-looking chart. this is because i, unlike matpat, understand how to do chemistry calculations that they teach to babies (fourteen year olds). but the change in Matthew's numbers from two points thirty seconds apart in the video raises the question of where the hell he got them from. way i see it, there are two explanations:

1. matthew did realise he'd explained everything wrong and his maths was off, but decided to publish the video without correcting his explanation or his first set of numbers anywhere;

2. matthew stole these numbers from somewhere else, where they'd been calculated by someone who understands chemistry 101, and couldn't even understand the chemistry well enough to replicate their results.

why bother saying all of this if it proves nothing? i need you to understand that i was in chemistry for babies when this video came out, and deep in the weeds of my fma hyperfix and my chem hyperfix. this has bothered me for a full third of my life. this isn't an explanation it's an exorcism