CEO!Magnus and personal chef/bodyguard!Alec
(There is every chance that I have posted this before, I just can't remember. I tried to search through my archive, but.... there is a lot of posts there, did you know? 🤣😂
Anyway, in case I'm making you read this twice, sorry. 😅)
Magnus being like this really big shot CEO who has meetings 24/7 and charity events and social appearances and all that other busy stuff going on. So he gets a personal chef to keep an eye on his nutrition.
And Alec is ruthless when it comes to making sure Magnus eats healthy.
Magnus: "You know I love your cooking, Darling, but how about a good old fashioned fast food break?"
Alec: "All that grease is bad for you. Eat your carrots. You look pale. How much sleep did you get last night?"
Magnus, innocently: "Enough?"
Alec: "Unlikely. No more caffeine for you today."
Magnus trying to sneak all kinds of unheathy Snacks, and Alec foiling him at every turn.
Magnus had an energy drink hidden away in his desk, but as he opens the drawer, there is a bottle of water with a note attatched with "stay hydrated".
Alec even convinced the close by Cafe to not serve Magnus anything with Caffeine, after Magnus' last doctors appointment showed high blood pressure.
Maybe Alec is some kind of ex-agent or ex-military, who got into cooking for an undercover op, but really enjoyed it and wanted to pursue it further when he quite the force.
When one of Alec’s old colluegues comes visiting him, Alec is crouching behind the entertainment system to find Magnus' latest snack hidey-hole.
Alec: "He gets more creative every time. Some of the drug dealers we busted could have learned from him."
Bet you Magnus is the type of CEO who has a loyal Twitter following and he tweets about everything Alec cooks for him (and the things he doesn't let him eat.)
The Internet already ships them.
Possible tweet:
The_Magnificent_Bane: Thank you for the suggestion @randomfollower, but unfortunately Alexander didn’t go for the argument that carrot cake counts as a vegetable.
Why am I know picturing a fight in the kitchen where Alec uses kitchen utensils and food to knock out people who have come to kidnap Magnus
Imagine someone broke into Magnus' place, and the police are called and as they arrive
Magnus is like: "Thank you for coming. My chef has already apprehended and restrained the perpetrators, and is waiting for you to take them off his hands in the living room."
Police: "... Your cook apprehended them?"
Magnus: "Yes. Sadly, the confrontation did not result in the death of that cursed celery he bought earlier."
Magnus: "Tomatoes can't be trusted, my darling. Are they a fruit? Are they a vegetable? No one knows."
Alec: "They are fruits."
Magnus: "That's what they want you to believe."
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TELL US ABOUT AHIGA!!
(Lost this in the ask pile and was just reminded) MY WRETCHED LITTLE BOY!! I’m putting it under the cut because it’s a big rant about my most wildly self indulgent oc
(My drawing ability is extremely bad but Fuck It We Ball) he’s from an Au I made with my bf @fawntastic (he drew the cast here)
Ahiga Cain is 17 years old, 6’5, an up and coming musician and is the last known member of H. Sapiens Cleptavox. They were one of the native ghoul species of the Americas and once a prominent part of the environment and society, but after hundreds of years of sickness and war, their numbers have dwindled to the certainty of extinction. He was born as the result of a last ditch attempt to save the species, but it ultimately failed.
He only made it to three years old before the CCG found where his mother had been living with him in a cave on protected land in the Grand Canyon, and an extermination operation was carried out on the day his younger brother was born. He was the only one who managed to make it out, fleeing towards the closest shelter, a dumpster where he was found a few days later by Arlen Cain, one of the investigator’s responsible who was coming back to the scene to do reports. He, already having some weird relationships with ghouls (I lowkey based psyb houji on him), and having also just been given custody of the daughter of a coworker who died in the operation, took him home and hid him away until he could be sure the kid wasn’t dangerous and reported him as a human child he found captured by ghouls. It was obvious that Ahiga was not human, he wasn’t even a normal ghoul, but after seeing what his partner did to that kakuja’s other cub, Arlen didn’t want any more children to die. Plus, he kind of wanted to see how this played out
Ahiga grew up in an extremely weird situation. One of his fathers is a common Eurasian ghoul, the other is an investigator actively covering up his identity, and his sister is a human who lost her mother at the same time he lost his, but they grew up close as creepy rural kid twins who just go off into the desert unsupervised sometimes. They had to learn as they went how Ahiga worked, especially when he ate birds and rodents and seemed to be fine and mimicked their own voices back at them, but they were happy. They just put him in loose clothing so it’s hard to tell how weirdly shaped he is, claimed he was born with ROS, and occasionally got information and help raising him from the few members of his mother’s tribe who knew about him.
The main problem at this point, was Vivienne. She’s Arlen’s partner, and more importantly, she was the one who brought down his mother. She’s reached high acclaim after killing a kakuja of a ghoul species previously thought to be prehistoric, and has since wracked up a reputation as being the most ruthless and effective ghoul hunter the Las Vegas CCG has seen in a long time. She’s a friend of the family, because it would be suspicious to cut her off at this point, and is close to Ahiga. He knows who she is, what she did, but instinctively he wants to be near her because when she uses the quinque made from his mother, it left her scent on her, and ever since sensing it as a small child he’s been attached. No matter how much he tries to rationalize it as he gets older, he still wants to be around her. And Vivienne, not aware that there’s anything wrong with Ahiga besides his illness and many allergies, loves him. Arlen is the closest thing to family she has, and so are his kids
His life was, oddly enough, pretty normal as a kid, up to the time other ghouls found out about him. They were so focused on protecting him from humans, that they didn’t know to protect him from certain ghouls, and a restaurant society heard rumors that the last cleptavox in the world was alive and well and ripe for the taking. He was taken by them when he was 11, and carefully kept alive so he could be butchered and auctioned off piecemeal, fed enough to regenerate, and start over again. It was there in captivity when his kagune finally started to harden, and after a couple weeks there, he managed to kill a handler and escape. He made his way home, but wasn’t the same after that. He had hoped to never get involved in the violence of the ghoul world, he wanted to just live like a human as much as he could, but the violence had found him and all because he was the last of a doomed species. He never wanted to be an endling, it wasn’t his choice, but he was one and now both humans and ghouls want to cut him to pieces for it, without even the dignity of a clean death
After that, he accepted that he’d need to be prepared to fight, but that wasn’t enough. It wasn’t fair, his mother didn’t deserve to die, his little brother didn’t deserve to die, all ghouls didn’t deserve to be hunted and have their lives ruined for what they can’t control, and he’ll do whatever he can to change it. The way his body changed after having to regenerate from being butchered, his hair turning white and his instincts getting worse, as well as the feeling that it wasn’t his anymore, made him eager to decide to turn it into a weapon. He and his sister, Megan, learned to hunt. His fathers, though reluctant, brought home ghoul meat. Ahiga, being a subspecies designed for cannibalism, grew a kakuja quickly.
He burst onto the scene to slaughter doves patrolling any area close to where his mother was killed, and it was obvious that this new one was the same species as the SSS ranked Coyote King that was exterminated there years ago. The CCG was whipped into a frenzy trying to find and kill it, headed by Vivienne, who having grown up in CCG education, saw the extermination of another ancient monster the perfect legacy
Ahiga became known as Roadkill, and quickly rose to his mother’s rank of SSS along with his sister, who became known as Jaeger, who is rank S as the CCG hasn’t yet figured out she isn’t a ghoul. They’ve amassed a gang, making it their business to not only support the ghouls in the area with food and shelter, but to launch coordinated attacks on CCG buildings and operations. There was a particularly brutal one when Operation Headlights, the task force led by Vivienne and Arlen to exterminate Roadkill and it’s gang, was first formed. His gang cornered the members sent to exterminate them, but rather than killing them themselves, he had them split into groups, vote on which of them will die, and them to kill the losers. After the wave of resignations that came from that it became well known in the CCG that even the money and acclaim that comes with the position isn’t worth what those ghouls will do to them.
He and his sister are horrors. In possum and deer skull masks, they and their gang move quickly on bikes and in cars, strike fast, and pile up corpses before the law can respond. He’s the reason that their branch of the CCG had to make new rules that sound like they come straight out of a horror movie, such as “do not believe anything said over the phone or radio as it could be a mimicry” and “no gloves or sunglasses in the office to ensure a ghoul wearing human skin is not on the premises”
In order to justify staying in Las Vegas full time as opposed to the more rural area outside of it his family lived at, they claimed to be starting a band as it was very believable that two idiot teenagers thought they could make it big performing at casinos. Their cover story worked to explain why they were always in the city that Roadkill and Jaeger were terrorizing, but by pure coincidence, they did well. They just happened to be at the right place at the right time, performing some stupid little show at a casino a relative worked at, when they got some attention. They realized that some fame will be good, not because of the money (though being able to afford a private jet to smuggle ghouls around in didn’t hurt), but because making music with ghoul dogwhistles can help get the word out to recruit more people for their militia
By now they’re a well oiled machine of performance, Murder, and self destructive spirals for the sake of destroying the CCG. Though Ahiga remains distant from his comrades. It’s not that he’s particularly rude or doesn’t want to be close to them, but because as he gets older, his subspecies traits become more obvious and very unsettling to other ghouls. He makes too much eye contact, his talons are way too big, and his occasional quadrupedal walk make other ghouls not want to be around him as he’s just uncanny. Being a kakuja also doesn’t help. So he’ll go out of his way to find other ghouls that are weird subspecies or kakuja because he’s kind of desperate to hang out with someone as weird as him. He’s also just kind of cringe in the way he behaves
Becoming so powerful at such a young age, especially in response to a horrific event and knowing that he’s the last of his kind, did terrible things to Ahiga. He compulsively cannibalizes to grow his kakuja even as his RC fluctuations grow out of control and leave him dependent on all sorts of suppressants and medications, and leaning on a cane half the time he’s out of combat. He’s been utilizing drugs and machinery to try to make himself stronger, dosing himself with all types of chemicals and plants to make his kakuja bigger and more aggressive while his sister tries out ways of armoring it and attaching mounted turrets to his back. It’s quickly destroying him, chipping away at his body and mind as he’s left with injuries, chemical imbalances, mood swings and hallucinations for the sake of turning himself into the war machine
But he’s careful to make sure the public and Vivienne can never tell. He wears sunglasses to hide his eyes that can rarely conceal his kakugans, he dresses in elaborate alternative fashion so no one thinks to question why he’s always wearing high heeled platform boots, ones with false bottoms inside to conceal his naturally digitigrade stance. He tells people that it’s just illness that makes his hair white, that he only looks so tall because of the boots, that he never eats anything because of allergies. It works, he even set up a donation drive for ROS research in his name to keep the lie going, and even Vivienne doesn’t question it. She’s the most dangerous person to him, having a personal vendetta against Roadkill, yet he still can’t bring himself to kill her. He wants so badly to tell her what he really is and for her to join him, but he knows she’s too far gone into CCG brainwashing to be saved yet
In all, he’s a very weird creep who is torn between the desire to save ghouls so that no other ghoul will have to suffer like he did, and wanting to slaughter everyone for causing him to be the last of his kind doomed to die in a world that he doesn’t belong in. Increasingly sick and unwell, he puts on a persona of a sweet, good humored teenager to the public to protect his human image, and a persona of a brutal, sadistic leader to protect his people as he orders others to kill and die for him. Even he isn’t sure what his plan is, he mostly does what will immediately help the ghouls in his community, follows leads of ghoul restaurants to slaughter anyone involved, or does as Arlen commands to strike at the CCG. He is in a death spiral with his surrogate mother, he and his sister cyberbully public officials together, he loves divorced dad rock, and he is a horrible little gayboy who can not be saved
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