#the handholding!!!! the determination in his eyes !!! the reassurance in his voice !

[torawro]

bro if shuichi ain’t the definition of a ride or die idk who is . . . . amidst all the literal horror and chaos that surrounds them i found this moment really really sweet 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

[lynnpaper]

Hey :) Great work. Could you write something were Ahsoka gets a panic attack and Anakin and/or Obi-Wan help her?

I could! I'm writing this as a part 2 to this fic, but it works as a standalone too. :)

Read it on AO3

They’re sparring.

There is nothing unusual about that.

The temple training grounds are empty, the sun having set hours ago. She’s doing well—maybe the darkness gives her confidence, fuelled by the reassurance that Anakin must work harder to watch her strikes. All she sees is a dark whirl of robes and a blinding blue saber, and the twin blades in her own hands, so familiar they now feel like mere extensions of her arms.

But her opponent is one thing. Her surroundings are another.

So it’s no surprise when her back hits the wall, but she’s not prepared for her throat to close in.

It doesn’t have far to go—the hand around her windpipe does a good job of cutting her air off, but the unexpected terror pulls the very breath from her chest from the moment she feels stone against her skin, and suddenly she’s blind, her head spinning from the impact.

She should be able to push him off. She’s trained for this, her sabers are in her hands, and he’s standing right in front of her, five different openings for her to kick or shove at. It’s almost as if he wants to lose, practically inviting her to beat him away and draw her saber and press it to his neck. She should be pinning him to the ground right now, waiting for that blessed solah.

But she doesn’t, because she can’t.

The grip on her neck turns into a gnarled purple hand, the face of her beloved master into that of a rugged feline, the warmth of plasma blades into burning electro-whips. She’s not a padawan, but a slave; she’s not in the training courtyard, but in a secluded alley; she’s not in the Temple, full of comforting Force signatures, but alone, her voice too small to scream for help, her body too weak to resist the disgusting advances they’re making on her—

Ahsoka.

The grip on her throat falters. Her sabers fall somewhere beside her as she crumples to the ground.

Anakin goes with her. He pulls her away from the wall before she hits her head against it, but she pushes him off before he can do any more. A desperate sound tears from her throat, and horror floods his mind because he’s heard that before.

Anakin kneels in front of her. Her breaths come too quick, too shallow, and he belatedly wonders if she is dizzy yet. The darkness hides her face, and if it didn’t then he wouldn’t be able to see it anyway, for how she holds her gaze straight below his. Cowering.

Ahsoka scrabbles at the ground, the rough stone scraping her fingertips raw. The physical pain is a welcome reprieve from its counterpart in her mind. Her fingers wander, searching frantically for something to hold on to, something to ground her, some semblance of a handhold before she falls off the cliff.

“Breathe, Ahsoka,” she hears.

She can’t breathe. “I can’t.”

“You can,” Anakin soothes. “I know you can.”

“I can’t,” she gasps. She can’t.

“Hey,” Anakin says softly. It’s unfair that he’s calm. “Breathe with me, Ahsoka.”

Ahsoka sobs, curling in on herself. Her chest hurts and her hands shake and her fingers are numb. There’s a nudge at her chin, cool as the night air, and she lifts her head almost on instinct before the nudge can turn into a push.

She meets his gaze. For once, she wonders how it would feel to not have the night vision of a predator—she wishes she didn’t have to see the sadness in his eyes as clear as day. Her species evolved to hunt, to seek out prey in lightless terrains. Not for this.

Anakin takes her hand, squeezes it tight. “Feel that?” he asks softly, calmly. It is hard to hide his own fear, hard to shape the words into what he wants them to be.

Ahsoka nods.

Good.

“Focus on my touch, alright?”

Please don’t touch me, she’d said.

“Okay,” Ahsoka rasps. Is that her voice? Force.

How she wishes he would wrap his arms tight around her. How she wishes he would hold her, the way he always does when she breaks. She would resist at first, but calm down soon after, because the warmth of Anakin’s arms could never be mistaken for the claustrophobic grip of that Zyge—

“Breathe, Ahsoka,” Anakin says again. It’s an order. But he doesn’t know—can he hold her? Will she shove him away? The mission on Zygerria ruined tactile comfort forever, and without it he doesn't know what to do.

Perhaps the darkness is a blessing. If Ahsoka saw Anakin’s distress in response to her panic, it would only make matters worse.

She tries again, for there is only one road out of this, and it is littered with broken glass.

The first true drag of air burns her throat, her chest aching as she takes a shuddering breath. She lets it out in a shuddering exhale, and starts again. Then reaches blindly in front of her, finding familiar cloth beneath her fingers.

Anakin embraces her tentatively. Tentatively, in case she recoils. Tentatively, in case she decides this is too much. Anakin Skywalker is not tentative—Anakin Skywalker rushes into things, instinct overriding rationality. His saber thinks before he does.

But he can make an exception. For her.

“You’re okay,” Anakin says softly, and if he can shape the words into something tangible and physical, then maybe the promise will hold. “You’re gonna be okay.”

Ahsoka’s breath hitches, and she shudders in his arms. Her chest is tight. Oxygen does not come easy.

This is her lifeline—this is what she holds on to when the current grows too strong. This is her determination, the friction that keeps her on her feet when the water lashes at her thighs and the rocks beat at her ankles.

Five things you see. A collar, a cage, a whip—

“I’m sorry,” she tries, in a voice which is not hers. There is nothing else to say.

“Don’t be,” he answers instantly. There is nothing else to reply.

Four things you hear. His voice, his voice, his voice, his voice—

She can say, with some degree of certainty, that she will not sleep tonight.

So Ahsoka searches for the old list in her mind, a growing collection of ways to stay awake, how to look alive, how to stave off exhaustion. Unfiltered, honest advice, scoured from conversations not intended for her to hear, passed between older padawans and knights. Hushed whispers in the barracks, the solemn voices of brothers trickling in like sand. Quiet fights between her master and his, which ultimately only served as eavesdropping practice for her.

Three—

“What happened there?” Anakin asks, a hand rubbing circles into her back.

Ahsoka takes another shaky breath. She’s good at learning things, but learning how to breathe again is far beyond her capabilities now. “When you held me—” She pulls back, unconsciously touching her neck with freshly scraped-raw fingertips, the phantom ache lingering like dirt on her skin.

Anakin takes her hand, guiding it away from her throat. He replaces it with his own, brushing over invisible bruises and a racing pulse; carefully tilts her chin up, his eyes tracing the smooth line of her neck, as if any marks will show at all in the muted light of the moon.

He is so gentle. Ahsoka cannot believe these are the same hands that knocked her against a wall, and held a lightsaber to her throat, and battered bruises into her shoulders before she learned how to dodge them. The same hands that untangled the beads hanging behind her lekku, and pulled her back to her feet every time she fell, and held her when nights were too long to sleep through alone.

Ahsoka places her hands over Anakin’s. The worn leather is smooth under her palms. “Felt like him,” she says hoarsely. A name waits behind her lips, bitter on her tongue. She so badly wants to spit it out, but she doesn’t have the energy left.

“Did I hurt you?” Anakin asks. He cares so much—it terrifies her.

Not in that way, no.

“No,” she whispers.

Anakin frowns. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

It’s difficult to find the right words at the moment. Anakin waits for them to find him instead, lest he say something wrong. Anakin is very good at that—saying something wrong.

“Let me try again,” Ahsoka whispers.

Anakin shakes his head. “Ahsoka—”

“I can do it. I won’t panic this time.” Some things are not worth crying over. But it’s an empty promise. Who is she to assume?

“No,” Anakin says firmly. “No more. We’re going home.”

It is impossible to fight him on this, so Ahsoka nods, pressing her face harder into his robes. Her weapons are somewhere behind her, waiting to be retrieved before she goes. The thought of searching around in the dark is vastly unappealing.

Yet his arms don’t loosen around her. She could argue that this is home, but—

“You ready?” Anakin asks. He almost hopes for her to say no, for it will give him a reason to stay longer, to hold her precious youth in his hands before it spills like water into desert sand. He wonders how much she has left—if he can afford to spill any more.

Ahsoka wipes at her face, her hand coming away wet. “Yes.”

Anakin takes her hand and pulls her to her feet, another moment to add to the hundreds before. He calls her sabers to his hands before she can, the quiet thump of metal hitting firm leather echoing quietly off the walls of the courtyard.

Ahsoka can only watch, a grey blankness filling the space of her mind previously occupied with some familiar form of devastating fear. She thinks, absentmindedly, that the hilts are so much smaller in his hands. It’s such a mindless, trivial realisation—hysteria offers to bubble up her throat, but she presses it down with her dread, lest Anakin think she is insane.

He must already think she is insane, for believing it will be any better if she tries again.

Ahsoka closes her eyes, still reeling from panic. Her arms hang slack by her sides. Anakin presses the weapons to her palms, shoto in her left and saber in her right.

The metal is cold. He closes her fingers over them, his gloves soft against her knuckles.

“I’m sorry,” Anakin says.

They stand there for a moment. Ahsoka breathes, relishing in the very fact that she can.

Someday the war will end. She knows it will end—it must end. And when it does, she and Anakin will scour the galaxy for slavers, and they’ll free every slave they can find. If she can spare one more padawan from what she’s seen, and if she can spare one more master from what Anakin now second guesses—then it all will have been worth it.

“I’m sorry, Ahsoka,” Anakin says again.

“You couldn’t have known,” she replies, for it is the answer he wants and needs to hear, and she, here and now, must convince herself that it is also the truth.

Helplessness is not an emotion to be treated lightly, yet it is an emotion easy to forget. Anakin realises this as he searches her face for a flicker which would betray her, an excuse to keep her close for one more night, and finds nothing.

“Are you alright?” Ahsoka asks with a little frown, ignoring the fact that she had been the one hyperventilating on the ground mere minutes ago.

“I—” Anakin clears his throat before his voice can break on him, rearranging his features into a less expressive mask. “Yeah. I am. Why are you asking me?” He nearly laughs in disbelief. “Are you?”

“I think I am.” A nonchalant tilt of her head, moonlight reflecting off the white stripes on her lekku. “You can decide.”

You’re not, Anakin thinks, but he doesn’t say a word. What good will it bring?

[early2000smovieimagines]

Meeting and Dating Rafe McCawley

(My gif) (Requested by @minigranger )

(I’m so sorry this took so long! I’m trying really hard to write more often on all my blogs!)

- You and your family lived in the same town as Rafe so even though you didn’t directly meet him until you were older, you still saw him around a lot growing up. 

- For as long as he could remember, he had always had a massive crush on you. No, not just a crush, this boy was in love with you ever since he first saw you at the general store when you were kids. 

- Anytime he saw you, he’d stop and stare like an angel just walked past him. And to him you were an angel, one he needed to have for himself. If only he had the guts to talk to you. 

- He did in fact gain the courage to ask you out on a date but only after he got older and grew out of his awkward gangly teenage phase. 

- You were genuinely surprised when he approached you for the first time, introducing himself with such urgency and determination that you couldn’t help but feel as though you were the most important thing in the world. He really powered through his confession like his life depended on it which was honestly pretty adorable to you. 

“Ma’am? My name is Rafe McCawley and please excuse me, but I just need to get this off of my chest. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, inside and out, and you would make me the happiest man on Earth if you were to say you’d join me on a date.” 

- Who could say no to that?

- The smile you gave him once he was finished made his knees weak. He almost couldn’t believe his ears once you agreed, it was like all his dreams had come true. He quickly told you he’d pick you up at noon the next day before clumsily making his exit, running home to tell Danny everything that had happened. 

- He was so excited for your date that he literally arrived at your house thirty minutes early and waited outside, checking his watch until he deemed it appropriate to ring your doorbell. He was nearly speechless when you answered, handing you a bouquet of flowers before finally forcing out a “god, you are so beautiful”. 

- He took you to a gorgeous lake where the two of you sat in the shade of a big  willow tree and had a pretty little picnic. He was adorably clumsy throughout your whole date which only made you fall for him even more. He confessed that he’d liked you for a long time now and you confessed the same which caught him completely off guard. 

- The thing about Rafe is that deep down, he’s a shy loser. He can’t flirt for the life of him but god can he make a girl swoon without even trying. He wins your love with earnest compliments and sweet nothings that come straight from his heart. 

- You have your first kiss that same day, bathed in the setting sun and surrounded by the smell of warm dry air and flowers. It’s deliciously soft and beautifully slow, making your heart race and your mind stop. 

- You’ve been two fools in love ever since and you’ve got no intention of stopping anytime soon. 

- He wants everyone to know that you’re together so expect a lot of pda. Handholding, soft kisses, hugs, his arm wrapped around you, etc. It’s all very innocent but it sends a message and makes you both happy. 

- You catch him watching you a lot, often with this little smile on his face that tells you exactly what he’s thinking. How did I get so lucky. 

- Passionate kisses. 

- Spontaneous and adventurous dates and decisions. Most of them get ruined somehow but neither of you mind, the temporary thrill is amazing and the get-away is always amusing. 

- Even though you don’t come from much, he tries his best to make you feel like the classiest woman alive. Champagne, roses, diamonds, whatever he can get his hands on. 

- Folded cranes and other sentimental gifts. Both of you smile every time you see them. 

- He likes pressing kisses all over your face before he finally captures your lips in his. He adores the little giggles you make whenever he does it.

- He wraps both his arms around you in a bear hug when the two of you cuddle. He can hardly sleep without holding you close, almost as though he’s afraid you’ll disappear in the night

- He’s pretty clumsy so you’ll have to take care of your fair share of cuts and bruises. 

- Hearing about all of his adventures with Danny. Some of them are so outrageous that you can’t believe they’re real no matter how much he laughingly assures you they are. 

- He’s going to give you a complex with how much he compliments you. It’s kind of funny though because as much as he compliments you, he often gets pretty flustered when you do the same. 

- He uses a lot of pet names on you but you think you like it best when he calls you by your name. There’s just something so nice about the way he says it. 

- Sitting on his lap and snuggling close. 

- Soft caresses, he can never seem to keep his hands off of you. 

- Pulling his hat off his head so that you can kiss him. When you pull away, he likes to teasingly place it on yours, calling you captain and asking what you feel like doing. 

- There’s a lot of teasing in your relationship but it’s the “so sweet it’ll rot your teeth” kind of teasing. 

- Getting carried around bridal style. 

- Taking long walks together. He likes having a chance to get away from everybody and just spend some quality time with you. 

- He’s taken you on a plane ride at least once, he’s either very glad that you share his love for flying or finds it cutely amusing when you get scared. 

- Even though he’s fond of thrills, he does enjoy just spending a quiet night in with you. 

- Whenever he goes to order food or drinks for the two of you, he’ll hand you some money to go spend on the jukebox while you wait for him. He thinks it’s cute when you skip off all excited to pick a song. 

- Going to the cinema together. 

- Photo booth pictures.

- Going dancing. 

- Sneaky butt touches, he tries his best to act innocent but you know he’s a liar. 

- Tight hugs, he often lifts you up and spins you around whenever you wrap your arms around him. 

- He always tries his best to act like he isn’t sick or hurt but he rarely manages to do so convincingly. A lot of the time he can’t help but give up, apologize and admit that yes, he feels about ready to die. He want’s you to think he’s all tough and macho but he doesn’t have quite the pain tolerance or acting skills for it. 

- He likes for everything to be special when he’s with you, he loves making memories together and having things to look forward to the next time he sees you. 

- It always warms his heart to hear you talk about your future together or how much your parents like him. He loves knowing that you’re planing to stay with him and that he’s already a part of your family. 

- At the start of your relationship, he tried desperately to hide his disability from you, thinking that, for some ungodly reason, you’d stop loving him and think that he was stupid. You reassure him that that would never happen and help him whenever he needs you to. 

- Sometimes he just likes having you read different books to him or recount the plots of books that you’ve read. He loves your voice and being able to experience stories without the difficulty of trying to read them. 

- He’s insecure but in a secretive, no one would know, type of way. Anyone who doesn’t know him well would never be able to tell but you can see through the cracks and know exactly what he’s thinking most of the time. 

- He’s a pretty jealous guy, he takes people flirting with or being interested in you very personally and has definitely gotten into fights over you. He just cares about you too much to let someone “disrespect your relationship” like that. 

- He might be willing to let you go if you don’t love him anymore but god will it be hard for him. He firmly believes a part of him will always love you no matter what happens between the two of you. 

- You rarely ever fight, there’s hardly ever a reason to, your relationship is pretty much perfect. But on that rare occasion that you do, you’ll both just calmly get everything off of your chest before you resolve whatever needs to be resolved. 

- He doesn’t lose his temper with you very often. The very thought makes him sick so if he feels he’s like he’s going to snap, he’ll take a few moments to calm down on his own before attempting to fix things with you. It doesn’t take long for everything to be sorted out and for you to go back to your happy, in love selves. 

- He always tries his best to be there for you, offering you reassurance and a shoulder to cry on whenever you need. 

- He often treats you very gently even though he knows you won’t break. It’s just been drilled in his head that you treat a woman with care because they’re “gentle creatures”. 

- He’s very protective of you, he always makes sure you know that he’d never let anything happen to you. 

- He does everything he can to see you as much as possible especially after he gets accepted into the army.

- Sending each other letters when he goes away. 

- He keeps a picture of you on him at all times. He’s probably kissed it a few times. 

- He also has a necklace of yours that you gave to him when he first went away. It helps to keep him from missing you too much. Whenever he see’s it shining in his reflection he can’t help but feel better yet melancholy at the same time. 

- No matter how many times he has to do it, saying goodbye never gets any easier. He hates having to leave you, not being able to see you for such long lengths of time is torture. 

- He always promises to come back as soon as possible and you hold him to that promise, saying you’ll drag him back yourself if you have to. 

- Having your entire world shatter around you when you receive the news of his death. You bawl your eyes out for weeks, not being able to believe that it’s true. 

- Thinking you’ve died and went to heaven when he arrives at your door safe and sound. All you can do is fall into his arms and refuse to let go. Nothing will ever top the feeling of getting him back. 

-  Constant “I love you’s” not a day goes by when he doesn’t say it to you, at least when you’re together in person. He can’t help but swoon every time you tell him the same, especially when you say it out of nowhere, 

- He dreams of settling down with you, starting a family and living on a cozy little farm together. A future with fields of green, laughter and love. What more could a man ask for? 

[treasure-my-aurora]

Lay All Your Love On Me

♣ 𝘈 𝘮𝘪𝘥-𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘱 𝘵𝘰 𝘢 𝘥𝘪𝘮𝘭𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘶𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘢 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥, 𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘣𝘰𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘣𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘶𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘯𝘰 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘮 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘴𝘰𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘭 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘢𝘸𝘬𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘯𝘦𝘸-𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯.                                       ~              𝘰𝘳              ~ 𝘉𝘰𝘺𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘺𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘊𝘩𝘳𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘺 𝘪𝘯 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘺. 𝘚𝘰 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘍𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘹 𝘴𝘶𝘨𝘨𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘳𝘶𝘯 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵, 𝘊𝘩𝘳𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘥𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘭𝘺.

♥ Rated Explicit. Canon compliant. First times. Body worship. Smutty af. Chris is a jealous baby and Felix is an obvious sweetheart. Hecking cute and fluffy with a sprinkle of angst because why not.

♦ Words: 10,623

○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

It was late. Way, way too late to be doing anything special at all. The big, never fully asleep city outside was slumbering with one eye open and the moon had already been up and high on the sky for hours. Chris’ eyes felt like Mr. Sandman had accidently dropped two full bags of his magical sand instead of the usual small grains behind his eyelids when someone knocked on the door to the studio. He paused the looped piece of music, frowned to himself and glanced at the source of the noise. Waited a few seconds and removed his headphones just to be sure that he heard correctly when the knocking was heard again, more urgent this time. “Can I come in?” A very recognizable voice asked, and Chris felt his lips curl up in a small smile, “It’s open” he answered before the door clicked open and a familiar young man dressed all in black peeked at him from underneath a low hanging cap. “Hi” he said. Voice raspy and tired as he sat down on one of the chairs next to him and Chris had to put down his headphones and physically take a hold of his own thighs to prevent his hands from reaching forward and take the other into his arms. “Felix” he breathed out in a way that was way to heavy and intense than he first intended, and he bit down on the side of his cheek to not grimace at his own clumsiness. The younger didn’t seem to care though, or he didn’t notice. “Yeah, sorry for bothering you… I- I couldn’t sleep” he said, took off his cap, placed it on the desk and averted his gaze, like he was actually embarrassed by the fact that he wasn’t sleepy, “I didn’t want to bother the others by my pacing at home, since they’d all gone to bed... so I thought that I could come here...” "And bother me instead??" Chris asked with a wink and Felix opened his mouth to defend himself, clearly flustered, “I'm kidding" the older added quickly with a gentle chuckle and couldn't help himself from reaching forward, pull the younger towards his chest and close his arms around him, "You never bother me Felix” His friend smelled of cologne and laundry detergent, of a day’s old deodorant and that familiar musky undertone of boy that was just only his own and Chris couldn't help but inhale deeply. Felt how the weight and stress of work lifted from his body and Felix only glanced at him shortly before he broke out in a shy smile when they separated again, barely letting Chris take a good look at him before he averted his gaze again. Chris wanted to savour that smile though, that curious, timid spark in his eyes and the way his freckles shined through so much harder after he’d removed the usual bb cream he used whenever they had a full day off activities. A strike of concern shot through him when his consciousness caught up with the deep intimacy of his thoughts and he fought his own feelings while his mind shouted at him to just get over himself and just keep the snapshot of how Felix looked at the moment in the photobook of his memories. He expected the younger to add something else. A complaint about why Chris just couldn’t come back home with him. A request to put on some music. A question if the older needed any help... but Felix kept quiet, fingers playing with a loose thread in his ripped jeans while he looked down on his lap. Chris probably shouldn’t think about it, or even pry in the others business but it really seemed like something was bothering his friend and he couldn’t help but reach out again, even though every instinct told him to keep his hands to himself. “Something wrong?” the older asked, met the younger’s gaze and the song he was supposed to have ready in just two days was immediately completely forgotten on the computer screen, the very moment his fingers brushed against the others shoulder. “No” Felix smiled at him again, reassuring this time, even though he continued to fiddle with the loose thread, “No I- uh… I was just thinking…” he drifted off and the worry in Chris' heart, changed to curiosity in the pit of his stomach. “Thinking…?” the older said, eyes squinting with suspicion and Felix wet his lips, a bit constrained from his thoughts before he shoved his hands into the black ‘District 9: Unlock’ hoodie he was wearing, a mixture between a smile and a pout on his lips now, “Run away with me, hyung” he said with a small shrug and if Chris heart wasn’t already ticking away in an awfully quick speed, just by giving the younger that tight hug and then simply being in his presence when his sleep deprived mind wanted nothing but cuddle and hug and kiss the other senseless (not that he would actually try and kiss Felix… No… no no no no, the dude was like his best friend and little brother and he wouldn’t want to ruin that) So instead he just snorted slightly and motioned at the screen with a small nod and a gentle smile, “Sorry mate, I gotta work...  and even if I want to-” ‘especially with you’ he thought quietly to himself, “We can’t just run away. What would the boss say if we went missing?” And Felix said the only reasonable thing he could come up with, simply because he was Felix and way too polite, “Yeah, sorry… I- I knew it was a bad idea to bother you” he scrunched his nose slightly with the sweetest smile he could muster, like the cute gesture would make up for breaking into his hyungs personal space, destroy his ‘work bubble’ and make him lose his concentration, “See you tomorrow, then?” he added quickly and was just about to stand up when Chris reached out and took a hold of his forearm, “No. Felix” he said, maybe a bit too loud. Grimaced, gave the younger an apologetic smile and looked at him with eyes that begged him to stay, “I umm…” he gave the screen a quick glance before turning back, “I’ll run away with you, for tonight at least, lemme just…” he let go of the other temporarily, made sure that everything was saved and completely missed the sharp inhale and quiet, hard swallow the younger did behind him. Not that Felix would ever admit holding his breath the second the older took a hold of his arm, or how his stomach did a row of small happy somersaults to the childish thought of the both of them running away together and never coming back. - “So, where are you taking me?” Chris asked a few minutes later when they’d left the agency and was strolling down the street, seemingly on the way back to the dorm. It was a calm night in the middle of the week, the beginning of May and still a bit chilly at times when the wind took speed, but comfortable nonetheless and the oversized leather jacket that Felix had brought with him, just in case, hung loosely over his shoulders. A car passed every few minutes but the whole street was completely empty from people and the younger only gave him a small smirk over his shoulder while he led the way, one step ahead. Ok… maybe Chris was getting a bit nervous. The lack of control in the situation made his skin tingle and a chilly feeling rumbled around in his body when he asked where they were going, once again, when Felix continued to walk forward with determined steps instead of taking a left turn like they normally would when walking home. “It’s a secret” the younger said smugly, “Well can you walk a bit slower then? I’ve been sitting on my ass for like three hours and you push me out to go power walking in the middle of the night” Chris complained and frowned unhappily while he nearly stumbled over the edge of the sidewalk when they crossed a street, “You can hold my hand if it makes you feel better” And now he was getting teased as well... Chris sighed and glanced down on the younger’s smaller hand that reached out for him to take. He rolled his eyes since he knew that handholding wasn’t really a necessity (the street was still very empty and it wasn’t like he was going to get lost) but still took a quick step extra before lacing their fingers together, and didn’t say a word when Felix couldn’t hide the happy smile that played on his lips when his friend accepted the cheeky request. They walked even more, into a part of town that Chris had been only once or twice, and he was completely sure that they must’ve gotten lost when another ten awfully long minutes had passed, and Felix wasn’t slowing down. He was just about to start protesting again about where they were going when he finally saw twinkling lights a bit further down the street. It was a small, dimly lit restaurant, barely anything more than a hole in the wall, completely vacant off people and the young woman over the small counter greeted them with a bright smile before leading them to one of the three tables further back. “How did you even find this?” Chris asked and was unsure if he should be scared that Felix ventured out on trips (alone?) to find tiny gems like the one they were currently at or just impressed because… well, how? “A friend recommended it to me” Felix answered while he played with the tablecloth and Chris exhaled silently in relief, “Aha, who?” he asked curiously but Felix just shook his head again, “Secret” he said, and Chris squinted his eyes in a fake annoyance. Who could this person be that randomly requested this place? “Any thoughts on drinks? Starters? Or perhaps you’re already ready to order?” the sweet woman seemed to have teleported at their table, eagerly ready to write down their orders with a notebook and pen in her hand, Shit, he didn’t even know what they served at this place. Pork, chicken, no wait… he scrambled with what both looked and felt like a very, very greasy menu that nearly stuck to the table when he picked it up. But he’d barely seen even one dish when Felix beated him to it, “I’ll have the kimchi jjigae with pork” the younger said simply without even picking up the menu and a weird feeling struck through the older for just a quick second. How many times had Felix been at this small and cramped place for him to be so familiar with what they served? Or was the said dish just a recommendation from the same ‘friend’? “Anything to drink?” the woman continued, and Felix gave her a soft smile, “Just water” before the two turned to Chris and the woman gave him the same relaxed customer service smile, “I’ll…uh...” he skimmed through the ten different dishes that covered the slightly yellow, one sided laminated paper, “I’ll have the uh…” “He’ll have what I’m having” Felix interrupted and met Chris' surprised eyes, “You won’t regret it” he added with a small smile when Chris gave him a look of doubt, “Two glasses of water and two kimchi jjigae with pork coming right up” the woman gave them both another warm smile and was just about to turn away when Felix stopped her, “Oh, and could we have a bottle of Soju as well?” The question threw her off-guard for a second and it looked like she was just about to turn on her heel and ask for their ID cards but quickly regained the smile on her lips with a small nod, before disappearing behind a curtain in the wall a bit further down. Chris guessed that she must think that they were within the legal age of drinking at the very least, since the clock on his wrist had passed 3am and it was just a regular night in the middle of the week. Not to mention that they were in the totally wrong part of town when it came to schools and family residences... Or she might’ve paused because she recognised them and… and. “What were you thinking? We can’t drink, what if someone sees us?” Chris asked, suddenly much more aware of the random cars that drove by once every few minutes, “They can’t see us” Felix said and waved his hand dismissively at the passing traffic, “And what are people gonna do if they saw that it was you and me? Scream at us not to drink? It’s not like we’ve broken any laws” he continued with his chin resting on his knuckles and elbows on the table while he looked out over the scenery across the street. The Han river was steadily flowing about a hundred meters away, just on the other side of the green, grassy park on the other side of the street they sat next to. The street itself was one of the smaller ones with only two lanes, but also seemed to be one that led into the heart of the city, which meant that despite the grassy park, the restaurant probably didn't have a lot of patrons during rush hours. That might've been one reson why Chris had never heard off it. “Two glasses of water” the woman interrupted their view and put down two big, full glasses in front of them, “and a bottle of Soju" Chris gave her a thankful smile while taking a big gulp of water, "I trust that your friend here is of legal age, huh? Yongbokkie?” This time Chris couldn’t mask his surprise. A surprise that Felix himself never saw because he smiled back happily at the woman, who was currently clutching her tray to her chest like a schoolgirl talking to her crush. The water Chris had taken a mouthful of suddenly tasted strange in his mouth. “Ah, hyung here is older than me” Felix reassured and the woman looked between them with curious eyes before Felix snorted out a small chuckle, “Don’t you trust me, Chiyhun-ah?” he continued while the woman giggled behind her hand, “Of course I trust you” she winked at him and probably would’ve stayed and flirted with him even more if it wasn’t for a man’s voice at the other end of the restaurant, calling her name, “Yongbokkie?” Chris repeated with raised brows and Felix whipped his head around to the older again with a small “Huh?” before he smiled shyly, “Oh yeah, I guess you could say that I’m a bit of a regular here by now” By now? By when? How could the younger have sneaked out without Chris even knowing? Or had he been paying visits during the day as well? He must’ve been here a lot since he and that… What was her name? Chinnie? Chihan? Chiwhi? Kiwi? No wait- “What’s going through your head, bro? You look like you’re trying to figure out, like... a great mystery or something” Felix chuckled before taking a gulp of water and it was so light and heartful that it nearly hurt. The fact that someone else had been hearing that laughter directed at them for months, someone that wasn’t himself, or their little family back home that was (hopefully) all asleep by now, or Felix's own family or Stay or- Wait… he wasn’t getting... jealous… was he? “Ah, nothing really. Work…” he answered with a small white lie. “Noooe, don’t think about work. If anything, think about our new comeback and how successful it will be, even though the world is literally trying to pull an extinction event on all of us” Felix said with a gentle smile and scooted forward a small glass in his direction. The clear liquid inside trembled a little from being dragged across the tablecloth and the older grabbed it before it had to complete its journey. “Yeah, cheers to us” Chris said a bit absent while taking the small glass and shot back the liquor with a grimace. “To us” Felix agreed, shot back his shot as well, swallowed hard, coughed and gave Chris a look of utter sadness while sticking his tongue out before dragging it over the roof of his mouth to get rid of the taste, “Ugh, forgot how much I hated this” he muttered and the older snorted out a small chuckle, “We don’t have to drink” “I know, I know. I just… I felt like doing it... you know? This is just a time where nothing seems to be going alright and I just wanna… lose that feeling” Felix gave him a small smile while pouring the next serving and Chris just nodded. He’d been feeling that same thing too. Of hopelessness. Of sadness for all the cities he never got to visit. Of loss for all the Stays he never got to see. He kept himself busy of course. But it wasn’t enough. It was never enough. He lived to perform, to see their fans. To watch them dance and sing along to their songs. “For trying new things and new places” Felix said next and clinked his glass with Chris with a smug smile on his lips. “Your food, gentlemen” they got interrupted again, just before Chris was about to swallow the shot and the woman (he’d already forgotten her name) placed the stews at their places. “Thank you, Chiyhun-ah” Felix said and gave her a bright smile before picking up his spoon, “Ah, actually Yongbokkie… I wanted to ask you…” the woman, started and poked a pebble with the tip of her shoe while she averted her gaze, “Yeah?” Felix hummed with his mouth already full, nose in the screen of his phone and completely unaware of the situation that was currently going down, “I just wanted to ask if you- I mean if we- could maybe- if you ever have the time-” “He’s with me” Chris interrupted before he could stop himself and felt his stomach drop when two pair of surprised eyes looked up into his. Felix managed to swallow hard before he turned his gaze up to the woman next to him and she wet her lips nervously when their eyes met again, “Oh- sorry. I got the impression- never mind. I… I- uh” she stuttered and immediately looked even more embarrassed, As if Chris hadn’t dug himself a grave deep enough, something in his brain decided to fill it up with scorching hot water as well and he cursed under his breath after his hand reached forward and grabbed Felix's over the table in an overprotective way, “I can see where you’d like this to go. But he’s off limits unfortunately” he continued, and the young woman just glanced at Felix one more time before she scurried off behind the curtain again. “Hyung?” Felix asked and pulled away his hand like he just got burned. Chris didn’t want to answer. Didn’t want to put words on the mixed, angry feelings that currently burned hotter than the stew on his tongue. “What was all that about?” the younger pressed on while Chris kept shovelling food into his mouth, more to buy time than actually sate his hunger. Which was a pity, because the stew was really good and he felt a tinge of regret over the fact that he was currently destroying their nice night out with unnecessary, overblown drama, “Christopher? Can you at least look at me?”   His full name sounded wrong coming from the younger and he finally looked up, met Felix eyes behind dark, heavy lashes and swallowed hard because the man in front of him was actually smiling. A concerned smile though, one that invited his friend to talk. He didn’t deserve him, Chris thought, he didn’t deserve to even be in the same presence of the younger, not when he was so apologetic and so sweet despite Chris acting like a complete fucking idiot, “Why are you so obsessive and paranoid all of a sudden?” the younger continued and Chris sighed, wondered silently how the hell he was even going to swim to the surface of the deep pool he’d created and started off carefully, “You know… just because we’re off the dating ban doesn’t mean that you should throw yourself over the first pretty girl you see. It’s only been barely one and a half month after all” Felix opened his mouth, closed it again when he didn’t know what to answer and only gave the older a deep frown, “Chiyhun isn’t ‘the first girl since the ban was lifted’ I’ve known her for months” Felix answered, clearly hurt by the dismissiveness of his pure character and Chris could only nod. Something inside him was burning- no corroding him, ate away at him from within. The pain reminded him of the sucking feeling in his gut when he’d gone a bit too far without eating, except this feeling seemed to spread through his body, from his toes and his fingertips, around his throat, choking him and blinding his vision. Bleeding into his lungs like water and wrapped around his heart hard enough to make it squeeze. He swallowed hard. Tried to take a deep breath to calm himself down. Tried to overcome the white, hot feeling when Felix reached his hand out towards him again. His knuckles covered by the black sweatshirt and those small fingers barely peeked out from the sleeve when his fingertips lightly caressed the back of his friend’s hand. As if he could feel the black, swirling smoke that had taken over the older by now and wanted to comfort him, despite the harsh, mindless words, “But…” Chris cleared his throat and tried not to delve deeper into the nice, calming feeling of the way Felix’s fingertip drew tiny circles over his hand while he looked at him with those soft, peaceful eyes, “The two of you haven’t gone on your first date yet, it seems… since she was just about to ask you” he continued and felt how he had to speak slower than usual to prevent himself from lashing out, “No, we haven’t” Felix answered and looked away again while he poked around in the stew with his spoon without any effort to actually start eating again. Shit. He just had to really destroy the nice meal they were having, didn’t he? “Have you fucked yet?” The metal spoon clanged awfully loud against the porcelain of the bowl when it slipped from Felix's hand and Chris grimaced when the sound resonated through the walls of their quiet space. He didn’t dare to look up at first. Too scared that the vulgar, crude words would be the last drop and the younger would just get up and leave. But he wasn’t met by an outburst of protests, or any sort of implications that his friend was going to object to the question. “No… and it has never been my intention either” Felix said quietly while he picked up the spoon again and went back to poking around in his food, “Why?” the older asked, confused now, “Because I don’t like her that way” Felix shrugged and gave him a grimace that was meant to look like a smile, “I think she’s pleasant to talk to. I’ve convinced her that I’m an office worker that helps in the development of new games. She doesn’t know about Stray kids, and I don’t plan on ever telling her. It's a nice thing to talk to someone who sees you for who you are and not for the way they have projected you in their head" Chris kept quiet, finally, and forced down some kimchi and pork to prevent his mouth from saying something stupid again. A small blush flushed his cheeks red from the raw, unwashed interaction that had taken place between them. A few minutes passed in quiet, Felix shot back the glass of Soju that had been resting next to his water since they got their food, and Chris mirrored his action while Felix poured once more and shot it back without the common politeness of waiting. It threw the older off guard for a second, since the drink should be taken at the same time and he watched when his friend started to eat again as well. “I’m sorry” Chris said just before he poured the very last in the bottle and shot back that as well, “It wasn’t my meaning to… express myself so clumsily” Felix only hummed back and the fiery anger that had burned so brightly in the older’s heart got replaced by a small pyre that begged not to be completely put out, “I- I don’t know- it wasn’t my intention to- uh…” he struggled and clenched his jaw when the feelings in his body couldn’t be placed into words of either of the languages he knew. He flicked his head while grimacing, annoyed with the situation. Bit down on his lower lip to fight the heavy stone that settled in the pit of his stomach with the complete conviction that he’d ruined the magical getaway that Felix had constructed for them. “I- I got jealous” he started a few minutes later and met the younger’s eyes when he looked up in surprise, “I got jealous of her, of this… this place that I have never heard off... that- that you’ve apparently been to a bunch of times and- and” The Soju had settled down very comfortable with the kimchi jjigae in his stomach and he must be tipsy already because he was pretty sure that the slight tingling in his fingertips wasn’t from the chilling wind that came rushing through the corridor of the restaurant from the open door. “You are... jealous?” Felix repeated with a puzzled expression and Chris felt how a deep shame showered over him, “Yeah, and that woman... I- I dunno what came over me, but I just felt that I had to… “ he drifted off again , shrugging from the lack of words and Felix- one of his favourite people and maybe even best friend in the whole world, the amazing, gorgeous angel he was- actually giggled. “You were protective of me? Why? Just doing your part as a bigger brother, or?” ‘Protective?’ Chris tasted the word and tried, much like a toddler that played with a game of different shapes and which similar slot it should go in, to put the word in the same box as his emotions. Was that it? Was he just afraid that his little fellow Aussie bro was going to get in trouble with another woman- as in maybe getting caught and creating a scandal? Or was he afraid that Felix (my Lixie, his alcohol influenced mind happily purred back at him) was going to get in trouble with another woman- as in him being shared with yet another person and therefore having one more that was going to want his time and energy. Time and energy that Chris wanted the younger to place on him... Time and energy that could be used to cuddle, close, close to each other when Chris came back from the studio in the early morning or Felix got back from dance practise, freshly showered and so, so warm and nice that the older never wanted to let him go. To hug until he felt every hard edge, every uneven crest, every tiny detail that was all Felix. To kiss until it felt like he was going to drown, but unlike the times when he’d nearly actually done so back at home- he’d gladly let Felix pull him under. To fuck until they were both shaking, holding the younger tight against him while he pounded into him, Felix face when he was right about to lose it, the feeling of his body trembling- wait. Oh. “Shit” he cursed to himself. “What?” Felix asked, and the usual tender curiosity that always seemed to burn in those brown eyes of his, seemed to burn even brighter now when alcohol was mixing in with the blood that pumped through his body. Chris opened his mouth to defend the sudden curse, met the younger’s eyes across the table and- ... had the younger always been so enchantingly beautiful? Or was it just the golden, hushed glow of the lightbulb over their heads? The way the light casted down on him made his eyelashes look longer and fuller than normally, framing his frame, with that cute button nose and the wonderful cupid's bow that curled over a perfect lower lip and dear God above, he was actually gushing about one of his best friends features… What was wrong with him? “Hyung? You’re scaring me a bit” Felix licked his lower lip into his mouth before he gently bit down onto it with his eyelids sleepy fluttering, seemingly unaware of how seductive he looked at the moment and Chris could feel a familiar throbbing warmth in the pit of his stomach when he suddenly saw his friend in an entirely different light, “Should we go?” he asked and forcibly pulled himself back from the dangerous downwards spiral he was going through and pointed towards the exit with his hands in finger guns, as if his words weren't clear enough. “Uh... sure” Felix said cautiously but couldn’t help the amused smile that tugged in the corners of his lips. They paid for their meals at the counter while a middle-aged man who looked like the chef and owner, helped them this time. Felix gave the curtain behind him a curious look and Chris felt a twitch of guilt crash through him. Maybe the woman didn’t want to have anything to do with them now after Chris had embarrassed her so badly. “Spare the change and give it to the lovely lady that works for you” he said with a small smile while handing over the money and the man gave him a bright thankful smile before bidding them goodnight. Chris had barely turned around fully before Felix crossed the street behind them with next to no regard of the traffic whatsoever and he had to wait for a car to pass before he could reach the younger on the other side, “What are you doing? You can just walk out into traffic like that” he complained but Felix only stuck his tongue out while he looked out over the grassy scenery in front of them. It was a small park, about a hundred meters or so until it reached an asphalt walkway that most likely stretched around the whole park. A security fence ran next to the walkway and then there was another maybe two meters before you reached the Han River. It was well-kept and freshly mowed,  despite its size, with a few trees and scenic flowers, some benches here and there along the walkway and now, with the moonlight casting it’s ghostly shine on the early morning dew that rested in the grass around their feet- a comforting feeling of peace settled in Chris body. “Race you to the river” Felix said while he set off in a sprint down the small hill and didn't give the older even a second to react before the game was on, Chris was fast, he always had been, and he knew that Felix was aware of that as well because the younger shouted out with annoyance just before the older easily passed and the distance between them grew with each passing breath-taking second. The iron railing was cold in his hands when he reached their finish point and he was thankful that he gripped it hard because his flat shoes did nothing when trying to aimlessly find some sort of grip on the wet grass. Which reminded him… They collided faster than he could blink and both men flapped with their arms when desperately trying to grip for balance in thin air before finally ending up on the grass. A second or two passed before Chris opened his eyes again and he realised that yes; he had fallen- no he wasn’t dead like he thought he’d be when escaping the iron of the railing was the only thought in his mind as he fell, and no, the reason why his back was damp wasn’t because he’d hit something and ripped up his entire body but rather because he’d landed on his back and the grass was once again reminding him that is was indeed very, very wet. “Shit, sorry” Felix apologized above him and Chris came to realize yet another thing- the younger felt good where he was; straddled over his waist with their chests flushed together, the older’s hands on his thighs and Felix own hands resting just underneath Chris’ collarbones to keep himself upright. Felix was close, too close, for Chris and his naughty mind to be fully comfortable, but he still couldn’t resist the need to let his hands travel up over Felix's thighs a bit, and he shuddered slightly when he felt how the muscles underneath clenched at his touch when his thumbs rubbed the inner side. The younger did that thing again- bit down onto his lower lip and watched Chris with a playful curiosity, as if he didn’t mind that his friend was touching him in such an intimate kind of way, but rather just wondered why. Chris opened his mouth to say something. Defend the way he felt the same warmth pool inside him again, maybe? Or the fact that he was actually getting awfully turned on when Felix hands wandered over his way too thin shirt, fingertips brushing over nipples that hardened up embarrassingly quickly and the older hoped that he could just blame the cold chill that moved around them if Felix would ask. “It's uh… fine” he answered, and his words seemed to break the spell between them. Felix swallowed hard, quickly pulled down his sweatshirt down over his crotch with a tight fist while standing up again and Chris held back the groan of disapproval when the weight of him disappeared. He had lived for long enough around young men to recognize when someone was horny but refused to ponder about it since Felix was most likely just flustered from feeling their bodies so close in such a loaded situation. His heart was still beating hard, both from the running and the feeling of younger on him and if it wouldn’t be for the fact that their clothes and shoes were pretty much soaked, he could’ve probably been running around with Felix until morning. “We should head home” he said and placed his hand on his friend’s shoulder, felt him shudder under his touch and got struck with yet another need to just hold him close. Felix agreed with a soft hum of disappointment and nodded silently while they started the climb up the small hill again. It was significantly colder now when the wind took a tight grip around the water particles in their clothes and turned them even colder. Chris was happy that the younger at least brought a jacket with him and kindly refused it when Felix offered it to him at first. The walk home took almost twenty minutes and both men slumped against the walls of the elevator while going up, yawned while unlocking the entrance door and Felix groaned at the big analogue clock in the diner at their left, watched with tired eyes while the longer hand of it passed 4:10am. Chris had been shivering for the past five minutes and he hoped desperately that he wouldn’t catch a cold. The dorm was quiet except for two hushed voices who he recognized as Minho and Jisung’s in the bedroom at the far back and Chris wondered if he was going to find their youngest snugly covered up in Minho’s bed, underneath his own. They shed their wet clothes without shame, (that step had been taken long, long ago) dumped it in the washer and Felix looked behind him for a second, into the darkness of his own bedroom where Changbin’s soft snores could be heard. “I’m cold” he said, and Chris swallowed hard when he looked upon the younger. His body… dear God his body, kissed by the soft illumination from the small light above the sink and like the perfect mixture of a mortal young man and a God. Weak, tired and dressed in only underwear for now but still… with that body, pale still from six months of sunless winter, hard and defined with muscles like marble... Gods be good, he really took the older’s breath away without any effort at all. “Join me in the shower” Chris spoke before he could stop himself and he was unsure if it was the Soju that still played with the deeply rooted, subconscious feelings like an inner puppet master that pulled out every dirty little sinful wish he’d ever had towards the younger, or if his own mind was just tired of playing according to rules that he’d set up for himself the very moment Felix had closed his arms around him and placed a chaste, invisible kiss underneath his earlobe in national television when they got the verdict that seven would be nine. “What?” Felix asked and wet his lips, almost nervously, “Come on” Chris urged and nodded backwards towards the big bathroom, “It will be quicker, and we can go to bed feeling warmer than now” “I… guess” the younger said slowly while he closed the bathroom door behind him. Chris was sure that his heart must've grown twice as big considered how hard it was beating in his chest and he made sure not to stare too hard (because even though the night had slapped him in the face with the fact that maybe, maybe there might be more than just brotherly feelings in his heart for the younger- he wasn’t a creep that peeped at others) Felix let him take the lead, waited for the water to get warm before he joined Chris underneath the stream and sighed heavily when it ran down his body, slowly but steadily warming him up. Chris wasn’t looking- no way in hell. He absolutely did not notice the way Felix’s breath got caught in his throat when he just stood underneath the stream of water and let it trickle down over the soft, fine, dark hair that covered his body. He did not think about the cute little birthmarks on his right arm or the deep lighter scars on his left that bore a story he was unsure if he even wanted to know. He did not observe every jut of bone, every raise of strong muscle from dancing and cardio, every single detail that made up the young man in front of him. “I know it’s been sometime since we last showered together and the scrawny kid that used to join you on our trainee days is pretty much gone- but it’s still rude to stare” Felix said and smirked at him when he heard how the water splashed next to his feet when Chris started to shower himself without another word. He was unsure if he should be thankful that Felix had his eyes closed (polite as always) for the entire time, only opening them momentarily when grabbing the shampoo, because Chris had, just maybe, started to get a bit hard while watching the younger clean himself off the thick layer of soap he lathered on his body… or if it would've been for the better if Felix could see the effect he had on the older so Chris wouldn’t have to feel like a peeping creep. The cosy time was over way too soon though and Felix climbed out the shower first, almost aggressively drying off the drops on himself so he could get in bed as soon as possible. Chris on the other hand was just the opposite and preferred to air dry a bit. He had put on a pair of underwear and an old shirt but was still drying his hair when Felix came back to the bathroom, hair still a bit wet, dressed in a tank top and black boxer shorts, a sweet smile on his lips and eyelids heavy from drowsiness. “Imma head to bed, thank you for tonight. Good night Chris” The older wasn’t even gonna scold him from the lack of honorifics, he was way too tired and way too drained to have that kind of energy and only gave his friend a smile back before bidding him goodnight as well, picked up his hairbrush while he heard shuffling in the bedroom that was door to door from the bathroom and gently combed his hair with a small frown when the door was pushed close until there was only a small gap between it and the doorpost. The rustling of fabric when Felix climbed into bed. The drop of the older’s stomach when he placed the comb back in its usual place. The sound of the younger’s satisfied sigh when he buried his head into the pillow. The butterfly light feeling of Chris' heart fluttering when his mind made a silent decision. It was ten steps from his place in front of the mirror, in a straight line, to Felix’s bed and he turned off the light switch while walking as if under a trance, closed the bathroom door after him, opened the door to the bedroom in front of him, took four more steps and then climbed into the younger’s bed without a word, “Hyung?” Felix asked and paused the ASMR video he was about to watch, “I’m not gonna let you go. Not now when I've done enough to leave us both confused. I- I wanna know more about you, every birthmark on your body and every story behind every scar” he carefully let his fingertips brush against the deepest gash on the youngers arm and his friend gasped breathlessly when the fingertips continued over his arm, to his shoulder, the dip of his collarbone, his neck and throat and the edge of his jawline. “I… want to know you, I want you, that��s why I acted like an ass earlier. I couldn’t imagine someone else having what I have. Having you…" he trailed off and just barely saw how Felix gave him a gentle smile in the darkness, “But you have me” Felix pointed out, a bit confused, and watched his friend with worried cautious eyes. Chris should’ve known. He felt like he’d overstepped a boundary once again and nodded shortly before he made the effort to get off the bed again, “Wait I-” Felix started and placed a hand around Chris' wrist to prevent him from going, “I mean it. You already have me. If you want to know the stories, the things that I still hide, you can have it all. I- I want you too. I just never thought that you-” “I do" Chris couldn't help but smile, "Lixie- since the beginning. I’ve just been scared but tonight… shit, I really am sorry for my bad behaviour. Seeing you with someone else, someone who could potentially steal you away from me… it fired up something that I couldn’t deny” “Just kiss me” Felix interrupted, breathless as he pulled the older back into his arms and Chris could only groan out a choked up breath when he caught himself on his hands, leaning over the younger for a few seconds before Felix wet his lips and exhaled a muffled, “Please?” How many times had he imagined the younger’s lips pressed against his own by now? How many times had he dreamed of this moment? Of the sweet gasps that fell from Felix’s lips? The sharp inhale that broke between them when Chris right hand cupped his face to coax his head to the side and deepen the kiss. Fuck. Felix felt so good in his hands, underneath his body. A shaky breath trembled in his chest when Chris tasted his lips over and over again and the younger swiped his tongue sinfully, intoxicatingly against his in a way that the older never would have guessed he could. Felix’s smell surrounded him, the feeling of his body, the whiny gasp that fell from his lips when Chris climbed on top of him and placed himself between his legs- everything, all of it sent the older down in a frenzy and he wanted more, needed more. More of the way that Felix grabbed a tight hold of his shirt, pulling on it, pulling on him to push their chests closer together. More of the hitched exhales that escaped between their lips when Chris combed his friend’s hair back from his forehead before tugging on it hard, as if Felix could get any closer to him than he currently was, in a gesture that went from sweet to possessive in a heartbeat. More of the way Felix body rolled in tiny thrusts back up against the older, desperately craving some sort of relief from the tense need that coiled in his stomach. “Fuck, you’re so gorgeous” Chris breathed out when they separated for a few seconds to catch their breaths. The low moonlight from the badly drawn curtains captured the shine of the silver shades in his hair. Lit up the natural blushing radiance in his face and made the stunning freckles that laid splattered over his cheeks, eyelids and nose glow like the starry sky outside, and Chris couldn’t help but reach out and trace his finger across the constellations of them. “I’ve always loved them you know” he said sombrely, and Felix couldn’t help but smile softly. Amidst the craving in their blood, the older still took time to pause and look, too see Felix and not just jump him because of the fiery lust that burned between them, “I love your smile too, your eyes-” “I love you” Felix interrupted and the older stopped his tracing, fingertip resting on the younger’s lower lip. He swallowed hard and couldn’t help the small exhale of relief that escaped his body, “I love you too Lix” Chris answered before he gently cupped his jaw, thumb in the corner of his mouth and a shiver ran down the younger’s back when their lips met again. It was soft this time. Delicate and slow and so filthy that he couldn’t help but groan deeply when Chris’ tongue met his own before their lips did. Open-mouthed and wet, breathing in and out the same air while the older harshly jolted his hips forward in deep, shallow thrusts against his ass. “Touch me. Fuck, please. I- I need your hands on me” Felix begged in a hushed whisper and Chris was just about to reach down to pull his tank top up when a groan from the other bed was heard, “Wow, you really gonna sexile a man in the middle of the night?” They both froze. In the middle of the emotional talking and heavy kissing, they’d completely forgotten about the soft snores of Changbin who now very tiredly glanced at them before yawning, made an annoyed noise of discomfort, grabbed his pillow and stumbled out of the bedroom with heavy steps, “This was about time by the way. Night” he mumbled right before clicking the door close and the two just stared at it for a few seconds before turning to each other again. Deep awkward chuckles broke through the funny feeling, Chris mumbled an “Oops” and if it wouldn’t be for the very apparent hard-on that pressed against his stomach, he would’ve revelled in the sweet giggle he received from the younger. “Please uh… I still…” Felix started after they’d calmed down from the surprise, a deep swallow bopped his Adam’s apple while cautious hands tugged on Chris' shirt and the older’s breath got caught in his throat when his friend’s gentle fingertips brushed against the heated, naked skin of his abdomen. “Tell me what you want me to do” he said, almost startled by his own confidence but Felix didn’t seem to mind the straightforwardness. Rather the opposite. The younger exhaled with a frustrated whine, grabbed a hold of his hands, pressed them flat around his waist before thrusting them up under his tank top, “Touch me” he demanded and Chris bit down his lower lip to prevent the deep sigh that threatened to slip from his lips. He couldn’t help but rejoice in the wonderful delight of how fucking perfect the younger fit in his hands, just like the moment back in the park, with his thumbs pressing down on his hipbones, before stroking up over his ribcage, his chest, down over his breastbone, his solar plexus, the abs on his stomach, slipping dangerously low into his underwear and felt the softness of curly pubic hair when Felix choked forth a gasp, “How far do you wanna go?” Chris asked and was met by a pair of big, startled eyes, “I want you to have me” Felix answered, a blush tinting his cheeks and the older swallowed, “Have you how?” he asked, unsure if he even needed the explanation or just wanted the younger to put words on his feelings. Felix whined out a small noise, a mixture between neediness and the turmoil of having to say what he wanted, “I… I want you inside of me, I want-” he swallowed hard and Chris could almost taste the overpowering, aroused feeling he emitted, “I need you to fuck me” The older was unsure if the taste of blood came from him biting down on his own tongue too hard or if his brain was having a short circuit from overheating but he couldn’t stop the low growl that erupted from his throat nonetheless and didn’t waste a second teasing the younger anymore. The tank top was hastily removed, followed by his own shirt and Felix only let out a choked out gasp when Chris took a hard grip around his thighs, hoisted his legs up around his waist and placed him harshly into his lap, bending his body when he leaned down and captured his lips in another messy kiss. Felix’s heart was beating hard enough to create a white noise in his ears and that mixed with the hushed groans that fell from his friend’s lips was turning him crazy with need. He reached forward and placed one hand on the older’s lower back while the other combed through the short hair on the back of Chris head, preventing him from getting up and leaving Felix lips again. Not that he needed to have his hand there, Chris wasn’t going to break away so easily. Not when the younger let out all the sweet, deep sounds that he did whenever their tongues brushed together, “Can- can I?” Felix started and let his fingertips linger on the lining of the older’s underwear, “Please” Chris begged and then couldn’t help but hold his breath when those small fingers slipped inside and pulled the fabric down to his mid thighs. “Is this ok?” the younger asked again and Chris nodded quickly, not able to resist the burning ache in his every limb. He was painfully hard, nearly shamefully so, with pre-cum that had already stained his underwear and he was almost thankful to the dim lighting in the room so that Felix couldn't properly see his face contort from pleasure when those fingers closed around his cock, making it twitch in his hand from the gentle touch. “I hope you can fit inside me; I’ve only fucked my own fingers before” Felix whispered, and Chris had to hold back from nearly cumming there and then from the shameless words that fell from his lips. “I’ll- I’ll prepare you good” he choked out and was met by a small excited chuckle, “What are you waiting for then?” Felix raised his hips from his lap, to punctuate the words and Chris felt like his heart was about to jump out of his chest. What happened to the shy, sweet younger bro that he was so used to? This Felix was surely going to have him dead by the end of the night and he wasn’t even going to complain about it. He hooked his own fingers into the lining of the younger’s underwear and slipped them down as well, over his thighs and legs until he threw them over his shoulder before he fully removed his own as well. A second of stillness passed, with them just locking their gaze while the room was getting brighter by the minute. Chris could see him better now, the blonde ruffle of his hair, the bright amber of his eyes that burned into him, the naughty small smirk that curled his lips up when Chris glanced down on his body. The small needy whine that fell from his lips when Chris licked his lower lip into his mouth, watching silently how a translucent bead of pre-cum dripped from the head of the younger’s cock onto his stomach, right below the navel. “Can I suck you off?” Chris asked and Felix bit down on the side of his cheek when he met his eyes again, He didn’t have to answer though before the older took a hold of him in a firm, gentle grip and leaned down before he licked a long stripe along the underside of his cock. “Fuck- Chris” the younger moaned out while his friend closed his lips around the head, hummed to the taste and began slowly jerking him off with his hand, sucked hard and indulged in the hungry short gasps that fell from Felix lips. He savoured it, the taste of pre-cum on his tongue, the taste that was only Felix, and couldn’t help but moan deeply because no matter what would happen after, this was all his at the moment. The way that Felix combed his fingers through his hair, tugging on it in a silent request for Chris to take him deeper. The way that he couldn’t help the small jolts of his hips into the warm, tight squeeze around him. The way that his thighs trembled when Chris tried to swallow more around him, choked a little to the intrusion but still pushed forward until Felix hit the back of his throat, looked up with his lips still wrapped around him like that and sighed happily when Felix fingertips brushed against his full cheeks, eyelids heavy and mouth open with the tiniest, sweetest pants coming out. “Come here, I- I wanna cum with you inside of me” he choked out and grimaced only slightly when Chris let him go, hummed when he could taste himself on the older’s tongue and separated his legs again before locking his ankles around his friends lower back, “Do you have any lube?” Chris asked and Felix nodded towards his nightstand, “I have oil” “Condoms?” he asked next and the younger shook his head, “I uh- I don’t… You’re my first” Felix answered, and Chris breath hitched, “You too” he said and was met by a puzzled look, “I mean, you’re mine as well. My first” He really shouldn’t feel so excited, he’d never thought that losing his virginity was going to be that special and was pretty sure that he’d lost it ages ago if he would’ve had the time to actually hook up with others. There was still something in his mind that rejoiced at the fact that they would give their firsts to each other. Felix only smiled at him, big and heartful and Chris couldn’t help but lean down and press a long kiss on his lips again before leaning over him, opened the nightstand and fished up a half empty small bottle of almond oil. He popped the cap, dropped a good amount in his palm, tossed it aside, placed one hand on his friend’s hip while the other sneaked between his legs and looked up at Felix who nodded shortly before he pressed his index finger inside the tight ring of muscle. A sharp gasp broke from the younger’s lips and Chris hesitated a moment before pushing it any further, “You ok?” he asked, and Felix released the breath he didn’t notice he was holding, “I’m fine… it just feels… different” he rolled his hips a little, tried to make it more comfortable but gave up just as quickly, “It sorta… burns a bit” “Do you want me to stop?” Chris asked. He was horny as hell and wanted nothing more than to pull out his useless finger and just press his cock inside the tight, warm space of the younger instead, but refused to do anything if it was just going to be pleasant for one of them. “No, keep going, it feels better already, think I just gotta get used to it” Felix groaned out and the older swallowed hard, reached for the bottle again and squeezed a few extra drops over the younger’s hole, just to be sure that he wasn’t hurting him before he pulled out his finger again and pushed it in further than before, “It feels better- I… fuck, touch there again” Felix moaned out, voice breaking and so impossibly deep and raspy that Chris shuddered. He was knuckle deep and carefully rubbed against the hardened place he accidentally brushed against again, watched with heavy eyelids how Felix back arched off the bed and drops of pre-cum stained his lower belly when his cock twitched, “More, please, more” he begged and Chris bit down his lower lip when he removed his finger before carefully inserting his long finger as well. God, the younger was so wonderfully beautiful that it felt like he was gasping for air, so warm and tight around his fingers that he almost lost it just imagining how good it would stretch around him. He carefully scissor his fingers, thinking that it would probably be needed if he’d ever be able to fit inside and Felix placed a hand on his cheek, coaxing him up to meet his lips again. Chris was unsure if he’d ever been so turned on. It felt like he was going to explode if he couldn’t come soon, and the younger was either overly confident that he’d been prepared enough or just as impatient to reach the finish line as himself because he groaned out a small, “I’m ready. Just- just fuck me, please” The older swallowed hard, leaned back, grabbed the oil again, coated his cock properly and locked gaze with the younger again. The sun was above the horizon by now and Felix looked absolutely ethereal in the soft, orange glow that shined down on him from behind the curtains. Dark eyes blown out from lust, his hair in a disarray, cheeks and chest flushed red from arousal and whole body heaving from the burning need that shook through him, “I love you” he choked out while Chris took a firm hold of his hips, lined up and gave the younger a nervous, intoxicated smile, “I love you too, Lixie” he answered before he gently pushed forward and watched the younger’s mouth fall open when the head of the older's cock disappeared within him. A long row of curse words fell from his lips and Chris couldn’t help but fall forward and catch the younger’s lips again, just to silence the loud groan that threatened to fall from his own lips while he pushed forward until he was completely bottomed out inside his friend. Felix clenched and unclenched around him, simply as a reaction to get used to the big intrusion inside him and Chris had to bury his face in the crook of his neck, breathing slow and hard to prevent the need of cumming already, “You feel so good, Lixie” he managed to choke out and shuddered when the younger rocked his hips, rutting his cock between their hard abs, “So beautiful, I- I can’t believe that you- that you allow me to have all of this with you” he cringed at his own words but Felix just smiled back brightly, a bit breathless, “Move, please. Feels like I’m gonna lose it at any second” he begged and Chris swallowed hard before he leaned back, placed his hands around his friends waist again, pulled on his body while pushing out and then slammed his hips back in a row of deep hard thrusts that immediately had the younger thrashing. More curses fell from their lips when Chris picked up the speed, and he bit down on his lower lip while Felix’s head fell back harder against the pillow, throat baring while his back arched when the older hit that spot inside him again. The older wouldn’t last long, he knew that and aimed to get the most out of this experience by hoisting Felix up higher onto his lap, putting his legs on his shoulders and let out a deep growl when the younger’s eyes rolled back when Chris was thrusted even deeper inside him. Felix was close as well, nearly tasting the orgasm that was rushing up on him and closed one hand around his leaking cock and couldn’t help but whine out when Chris pushed him down harder into the mattress in his own need for release, pounding him hard enough for the old bed to squeak. “Don’t stop” Felix groaned out and Chris gripped him harder, bruising his skin red and only seconds passed before the younger let out a deep moan with cum splattering in long ribbons all over his chest and mouth falling open in a silent scream. Fuck, Chris vision blurred from the gorgeous scene in front of him and he held on for as long as he could, thrusting into the younger through his orgasm before he had to let go as well, and held his friend close while his head rolled back and he convulsed, coming inside and filling him up with his cum. Felix grimaced when he slipped out, humming to the comfortable ache that spread through his legs when Chris let them go and moved to lie down next to him instead. “That was…” “Fucking amazing” the older finished and Felix dragged a hand through his hair, pulling it away from the sweat in his forehead. A comfortable silence fell between them as the morning began outside. A bird was chirping in the tree by the window and Felix felt how tired he really was as soon as his heartbeat had calmed down a bit. His eyelids started to become heavy and Chris leaned over him to grab a used shirt on the floor, dried the cum off his stomach and gave him a soft smile before pressing a chaste kiss on his cheek. He made an effort to sit up but despite his sleepy state, Felix still reached out and wrapped a hand around his wrist, “Stay” he begged and the older looked back at him, puzzled with the action, “I mean what I said back then, I love you. I don’t want you to go” A small flush of warmth spread through the older’s body, “I’ll stay” he said and laid down again, pulling the thick duvet with him, tucked the younger in underneath his chin and pressed a small kiss on the top of his head, “I love you too, Felix”

[knight-rider-fan-2000]

ABCs of Knight Rider: N- Night

As not-really-requested by @that-banana-headed-bovine Summary: Micheal wakes up alone in the dark. Kitt is nowhere to be seen. 1646 words

Kitt was gone and the sky was as dark as obsidian. There were rocks pressing against his back through his leather jacket. The world spun around and around, the faint halos of the stars above twisting so. 

Micheal sat up. He was in a ditch, that much was certain. This was not his first time waking up in a ditch, and despite his best effort he doubted it would be the last. He could hear the hum of the road to his right, but he couldn’t see it. He blinked. Shouldn’t he be able to see the headlights?

He held his hand outstretched away from his face. He gasped as his fingers disappeared into the pitch black. He quickly brought them back towards his chest. He counted them- five -and was reassured that they were all still there.

But a weight still felt missing. He moved the offending hand up and down to try and determine what he had lost, before his sleeve fell down, exposing his wrist. It was completely bare.

Kitt was gone. The commlink was, too.

Micheal stood. This was a deep ditch, that was for sure. He still couldn’t see the top of either side, but that might have just been the darkness. He stumbled his way through the rocks to the right wall of the ditch and began to climb.

He found rocks to hold on to, rocks within vision, and grabbed hold, hoisting himself up the steep wall. There were plenty of natural handholds in the many rocks. Micheal felt himself remembering the rock monument near his home town. He had clambered all over that thing when he was a kid.

Something beneath his feet wobbled, and his breath caught in his throat. He lunged and reached for another rock nearby, grabbing onto it just as his foothold came loose. He pressed his body against the steep wall, scraping his cheek on an outcrop.

“Micheal. . . Micheal?”

He sighed in relief. It was Kitt. It was Kitt! He closed his eyes and strained his ears for the sound, but it disappeared, lilting off into the darkness some direction he could not determine.

Kitt had to be up on the highway looking for him. Micheal clenched his teeth together before finding footholds on the rock wall again. Handhold by handhold, he pulled himself higher upwards.

“Micheal, Micheal where are you?”

Micheal swung his hand up to the next rock but missed as he heard the voice again. Instead, he impaled his hand directly onto a rough edge. He yelped.

“Micheal, stay put!”

“Kitt!” Micheal wheezed. His voice was scratchy. “Kitt!”

Projecting his voice so far into space took the breath out of him. Again the world spun, and for a moment he felt as if he were falling backwards into the abyss. A chill went through him as a breeze passed by.

There was a murmur in the breeze, like his partner prattling off technical specs to Bonnie in some distant semi. Micheal closed his eyes once more. Yes, the noise had to be uphill. He found a suitable foothold and began his ascent once more.

Ahead of him there was something flat, a platform, the top, but first he had to clamber up and over it. The platform created a bulge out of the hillside. He prepared to grip the side of it-

“MICHEAL, STOP!”

Micheal froze in motion. His body trembled, caught mid-lunge, his other hand bearing his full weight. His breath was hot in his throat but he dared not to even breathe.

His wrist creaked and his lungs burned. Stronger than the ache in his muscles was the terror within him. Kitt had never sounded that way. Something was very wrong. His core began to tingle and grow cold. He allowed himself to take a single gulp of air and his heart throbbed in a flurry of beats as a response.

From down below, he heard the hum of four-wheelers growing louder, echoing off of the unseen landscape. There were voices, too- cheers and jeers, all drowned out by the sound of the engine. Then the engine was drowned out by the crackling of gunfire. Bullets rained down upon the lower hillside. 

Now it was a battle to keep still against his own mind, replaying the flash of the muzzle in front of his face. Micheal allowed himself to breathe freely now, exhaling sharply as an avenue for the instinct to run to leave his body and travel into the atmosphere.

The engine stopped. Micheal held his breath again.

A voice floated up from below. “What the hell was that, George?”

“I saw something that moved.” Another voice replied.

“Did you now?”

There was stomping around. Rocks cracked against each other as someone with a lot less finesse scrambled their way around not too far below him. 

“What do you know? You actually did hit something!”

There were cheers and hoots and hollers from the four-wheelers below.

“Look at the size of that rat!”

“How’d you pick that out, George?”

“You know me,” said the voice identified as George, “my eyesight is that sharp. I hope the rest of you have your eyes just as peeled. We need to find the Knight man and kill him before dawn.”

The four-wheelers started up again and puttered off into the distance. Just before they were out of hearing, Micheal collapsed against the hillside, sliding down a few feet before getting dragged to a stop by the rocks biting into his jacket. He gasped for breath, his chest heaving up and down.

The highway. . . it couldn’t be too far now. Kitt was up there. He just had to make it up there. He steeled his resolve and pulled himself up and over the edge of the flat platform. He rolled over. The smell of gasoline and tar greeted him. Asphalt. 

He laid on the ground for a moment, letting his aching muscles rest. He instinctively reached for his comm. He pressed it a few times, until he realized he was just pressing against the bulge of his wrist.

He sat up and looked around. The road was barren. All that could be seen was the inky black of the night. Of course Kitt had to be black! Not only black, but matte black. The only part of him that would be visible would be his scanner.

“Kitt. Kitt!” Micheal called.

He couldn’t hear anything in response.

“Kitt, buddy, you hear me? I can’t see you!” 

Great. Kitt must have moved on. He was probably trying to find a car-friendly route down to the bottom of the ditch. 

Micheal wobbled to his feet. His sense of balance hadn’t improved any even now that he was on solid ground. He began walking down the highway.

Every part of him ached. His eyelids drooped. He stumbled, falling onto his hands and knees.

He was tired. Maybe it would be best to continue his search after a bit of rest.

----

Micheal opened his eyes. Wait, when had he ever closed them again? He bolted upright, causing his muscles to complain. Everything was bright, really bright. He rubbed his eyes.

“Hello? Mr. Knight?”

He looked over to see a woman in a nurse’s uniform standing in the doorway. So this was a hospital.

“How did I get here?” He asked.

“A rather concerned group of girls brought you in here. They said they found you on the side of the highway. From there, we were contacted over the phone by a relative of yours. He told us your name and other information.” The nurse said. She came alongside him. She fiddled with an IV bag for a bit, before checking the underside of his wrist. He tried to sit up further, but the nurse pushed him down. “Take it easy now. You have a moderate concussion and your left wrist has a stress fracture.”

“Did my relative give you their name?” Micheal asked.

“Yes, ‘Kitt’, he said. Does that sound familiar? He said that he was your brother, but now I’m doubting that, from what I’m hearing of your voice.”

Micheal couldn’t help but giggle, before resolving himself. “Yeah, he’s my brother, sure. He’s. . . adopted. His dad gave him the accent.”

The nurse gave a short nod.

“Could I call him? In private?” Micheal asked.

“Yes, of course. I’ll dial him up now.”

The nurse returned with a corded phone and plugged it into the wall. She entered the number, then handed the phone to Micheal, leaving the room.

“Kitt?” Micheal asked.

“Micheal! Thank goodness!” Kitt practically shouted into the receiver. Micheal pulled the phone away from his ear just a bit.

“Hey, buddy. What happened?”

“I first want to apologize. I should have never let you take the commlink off. I should have known that McGee’s invitation was a trap-”

“Woah, woah, calm down. What’s done is done. Tell me what happened after the fact.”

“Let’s start with what you can remember. I will fill in the rest.”

“I remember waking up in a ditch.”

“That wasn’t a ditch, that was a valley. Along highway 24. I tracked McGee’s goons down into the forest but lost them among the trails. I’m very sorry, Micheal.”

“Quit apologizing. We all make mistakes. Besides, you’re the one that got me out of this mess.”

“What do you mean? I spent all night searching for you but I never managed to find your location.”

Micheal paused. “Don’t be ridiculous, pal. If you hadn’t of warned me to be still, I wouldn’t be here right now.”

“Micheal, I never found you, much less spoke to you.” Kitt replied.

With that, Micheal’s blood ran cold. The phone nearly fell from his hands, but he caught it at the last second.

“Well then,” he began, trying to keep his voice even, “let’s be happy for the lucky little miracles.”

[oneshotprincess]

bakudeku inuyasha au? with like proto!deku as kikyo lol

A/N: I will admit I last saw Inuyasha in like the fourth grade or something and don’t remember much beyond the general plot so I decided to focus on good ole’ reincarnation angst :P Shoutout to @thermopylod for reading through

                                                         ****

He’s not Yamikumo, Katsuki tells himself fiercely. He’s not Yamikumo, he thinks as he watches him play in the grass with a kite with Kouta and Eri. He’s just fucking Deku.

Yamikumo used to smile softly, a shy thing, hidden behind his bangs and shared like a secret. Deku’s smile stretches from ear to ear, open and bright and just there. For everyone. Just like that.

Yamikumo’s eyes had been green like a forest, hooded like a cat’s. Full of mischief and promise. Deku doesn’t have a mischievous bone in his body, so fucking pure and earnest. If he compared Yamikumo’s eyes to a forest, then Deku’s are like emeralds. Round, bright, and usually sparkling because the nerd’s always on the verge of tears.

…Fuck, now he’s waxing poetic. This is what he’s been reduced to.

“Kacchan!” Deku calls suddenly, waving at him. “A little help, please?”

Katsuki glances up, broken out of his thoughts. The kite they’d been playing with is stuck, caught on the highest branches of a particularly tall tree.

Katsuki forces a scoff. “Get it yourself, shitty Deku,” he yells back.

“It’s Izuku,” he hears a grumbled murmur. “Please?” Deku tries again. “It would mean a lot to Eri-chan!”

Less prideful, Katsuki notes.So quick to ask for help. Yamikumo had never asked, always determined to prove himself. Katsuki had learnt not to offer. Even at the very end, on opposite ends of the battlefield, Yamikumo had refused help in facing Katsuki.

‘My mistake to fix,’ he’d coldly declared, raising his half of their master’s sword. 

 “Leave it alone,” Kouta snipes rudely. “Of course he’s not going to help.”

Eri’s lower lip trembles a little and she tugs at Deku’s hip mournfully. Brat.

“It’s okay,” Deku reassures her softly. “It’s alright.”

Not as reserved with his emotions. Not a warrior-in-training with the weight of his tribe’s legacy on his shoulders. A spoilt little ‘school child,’ allowed to be free.

“I’ll go get it for you,” Deku promises, ruffling her hair, heedless of the horn marking her as a demon.

Just as stupidly, stupidly reckless, Katsuki thinks grimly, watching Deku roll up his sleeves and start to climb the tree with narrowed eyes. 

Katsuki will give the kid this; he’s improved a lot since he came to this world. He’s still clumsy as fuck, he notes as Deku grapples for handholds among the branches, but he’s learning to be quick on his feet. 

Deku manages to reach the highest branch somehow, what a surprising miracle, but then he just…stops. Katsuki straightens up from the tree he was leaning against, eyes straining to see what the fuck the idiot’s up to now but…

His eyes are closed, a soft smile on his lips while the wind plays through his hair. Deku looks…soft. Vulnerable. Almost as divine as his heritage is supposed to be. And somehow, Katsuki’s dead heart skips a beat at the sight.

“What’s the holdup over there?” the Kouta brat complains, and whatever spell had overtaken Deku breaks. He shakes his head and inches forward across the branch to try to catch the kite. Katsuki has to look away, take a moment to understand what the fuck just happened.

He presses his palm over his chest, feeling his heartbeat, trying to calm it down.

Instead he feels it skip again when Eri shrieks. 

Katsuki looks up sharply, just in time to see Deku tumbling through the leaves. He doesn’t think, just reacts in an instant, flinging his arms behind to blast himself upwards.

Katsuki’s practiced at this, there’s no one alive who has better control over their abilities than he does, but that knowledge does nothing to keep the panic of being too late at bay. He flies through the air, grasping Deku around his waist and tugging him close with an arm. The other hand, he points downwards to create an explosion to slow their descent. 

He’s too distracted to control their fall properly—and he only has one good hand anyway—so they end up falling messily in a heap on the forest floor. Katsuki’s back hits the forest floor first, knocking the breath clean out of his chest, but at least it breaks Deku’s fall. 

For a moment, they stay like that, stunned and breathing heavily. Deku’s face is pressed into Katsuki’s shoulder. When he raises his head and meets Katsuki’s eyes, he looks stunned, green eyes glassy and welling up already. Abruptly, Katsuki realizes that Deku’s hands are trapped between their chests. That he can feel how fast Katsuki’s heart is beating.

“Get the fuck off, Useless,” he growls, but in the limited space between their lips, it comes out as a whisper. Deku doesn’t move.

Gods, just kill him now.   

“Hey! Are you guys okay?”

It’s Kouta’s voice that finally has Deku scrambling and stumbling off him. He’s red as a tomato and he stumbles a bit while moving towards the brats but then he dutifully drops to his knees and holds out his hands for Eri to fall into. The kid’s trembling all over from the scare and Kouta’s not much better. 

“Kacchan,” Deku turns his head to smile at him, genuine and heartfelt. “Thank you so much,” he says.

Katsuki looks away. Deku’s not Yamikumo. He’s not. So why does he still make Katsuki feel this way?

[tardis-sapphics]

Ooh you said you were open to Thasmin prompts so may I suggest Thasmin + ice cream?

you guys seem to like your ice cream prompts don’t you

‘I can’t believe you got an ice cream van.’

The three of them are standing outside of Graham’s house, in various states of disbelief. Parked on the curb sits the Doctor’s new… acquisition, a monstrosity on the eyes, the gaudiest type of van to ever roam the streets of Britain.

‘I can,’ Yaz responds to Ryan’s open-mouthed utterance.

The Doctor, it seems, has bought an ice cream van that has intensified its own nature. Gone are the pretty pinks and the calm orange pastels of years before; this van boasts of at least seven different colours, all bold and bright and beautiful, splashed all over its exterior. On its front and rear twirl different cartoons, from iconic Looney Tunes characters to cartoon aliens that Yaz has never seen before in her life. She thinks she glimpsed a Scooby-Doo on the other side, too, but none of the rest of the gang. On the serving side of the van, the ubiquitous ‘Mr. Whippy’ logo takes up most of the room, a typeface copied on the front of the van. On the roof, two ginormous painted metal ice creams spin on an axis in tandem.

Yaz doesn’t even want to consider how obnoxiously loud the ice cream van’s jingle will be.

The Doctor has never looked prouder, of course. Her arms are wider than the sun as she shows off her newest hobby; her grin deep-set and all-encompassing. Her eyes crinkle with delight. She can barely contain herself.

It makes sense, Yaz thinks, that she would take this mission to the next level. Her exasperation is quickly dissipating: it’s easy to forgive the Doctor for her wild plans when they make her smile like that.

‘I…’ Graham stutters. ‘Doc, you’ve genuinely made me speechless. Proper speechless.’

‘Ey, and that don’t happen too much, does it?’ Ryan grins to Yaz.

‘It’s just…’ They wait, curious, as Graham tries in earnest to find the words appropriate for this moment. He constantly has to adjust his crossed arms, his eyebrows getting more and more furrowed. The Doctor has started lowering her arms by the time he reaches the right response. ‘H…How?’

Yaz shrugs. That’s fair.

The Doctor has endeavoured to inspect every inch of her new van, checking, no doubt, for any improvements she could make. ‘If you must know, I have a mate up in Leeds who sells them.’ She disappears behind the back of the van, though her voice still carries. ‘I say mate. I mean acquaintance.’ A pause. ‘I say acquaintance. I mean someone I met.’

Yaz hums. ‘You found it on the internet, didn’t you?’

The Doctor’s head pops up to the side, and she points a finger at Yaz. ‘But she were very lovely, I’ll have you know! She were dead pleased, said she don’t really get customers anymore. Unless, of course, they’re from—’

‘The United Federation of Ice-Cream Creators,’ the three humans echo in unison.

‘See; you’re learning!’ the Doctor crows, and appears only to disappear again, into the van to inspect its contents.

Buying an ice cream from the ice cream van in summer was a highlight of their repeated childhood memories, no matter which generation they belong to. Graham swears up and down that the vans haven’t changed much since he was young, though the ice cream van could park anywhere back then, unlike now with all these cars clogging up the streets. For Ryan, ice cream vans always indicated refreshment after playing out with his mates – he of all of them would appreciate the cool refreshment after all the hard work. Yaz’s prevailing memory is of her local ice cream van man: a walking Italian stereotype who refused to call any of the girls by a name other than Rebecca or Jessica. At several points throughout her childhood, Yaz was called both Rebecca and Jessica during one single purchase.

It’s with these memories in mind that they follow her into the van – not only because they tend to follow, but because, they, too, are curious. Stepping closer to peer inside feels like a betrayal of the childhood mystery, but they’re pulled to it regardless.

It simply looks off-white; functional, extremely claustrophobic, and a little underwhelming. But if the expression on her face is anything to go by, it’s the Doctor’s idea of paradise.

Yaz is the first to step inside. She’s the first to follow; she always has been. In the cramped line the space inside the van allows, Yaz becomes situated against the Doctor, pressed up close and comfy. It’s a happy coincidence that the Doctor’s arm has to reach over her shoulder to point at the whippy dispenser and the empty cardboard boxes waiting to be filled with 99 Flakes.

The Doctor choosing to rest her arm on Yaz’s shoulder afterwards is not such a coincidence. Ryan and Graham are taking the time to do their own preliminary investigations, passing comments to each other in the light tone they’ve both grown to depend on from one another. (This isn’t without difficulty, though. Graham is desperately trying to decode Ryan’s rhetorical question of whether screwball ice creams ‘deserve rights’.) Knowing the other two are distracted, Yaz takes the time to sink into the feeling of the Doctor around her, letting her head rest on the Doctor’s. She smells like honey, and engine oil, and peppermint. They breathe in together and revel in the feeling: the both of them free to display affection like this. Finally, finally.

It evolved slowly, intensifying, like taking a deep breath. First it was the handholding, electrifying when sparse and comforting when established; long looks and good-natured teasing were followed by hugs, and longer hugs, and holding on. Then came the peak, lungs filled with anticipation – clandestine kisses shared in the dark and in the quick moments. Settling into rhythms and understanding each other in ways they wouldn’t have otherwise.

Yaz knows what the Doctor’s lips taste like in the morning, and the exact way she likes her tea. She knows that the Doctor is ticklish on the insides of her elbows and the undersides of her feet. The Doctor has read and reread Yaz’s favourite childhood books, Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials trilogy, just so she can match Yaz’s pace and fervour whenever it is somehow brought up in conversation. Almost every time the Doctor holds Yaz’s hand, and especially when they’re alone, she’ll make the effort to flip her hand over and kiss Yaz’s palm with a tenderness that makes the other woman tremble.

In other words, Yaz is absolutely head over heels for the Doctor. And she’s pretty sure it’s being reciprocated, too.

Not that they’ve really verbalised what this is. Hand holding and kissing and genuine comfort is one thing; giving the dynamic foundational support is another. It’s the question that’s kept her awake almost every night since, but Yaz doesn’t want to break this. The Doctor tends to be slow on social cues, and Yaz doesn’t want to rush her.

The Doctor might just not be into labels.

‘What d’you think?’ the Doctor murmurs.

Being pulled out of one’s deliberations gets no less jolting – it does, in fact, take Yaz by surprise to a higher degree thanks to the Doctor’s proximity. Her lips are close enough to Yaz’s ears that she’d hear the Doctor whisper even over the din of the van’s engine. It does wonders for a part of her she’s not at all prepared to dwell on in an ice cream van. It’s this reminder – that the Doctor’s talking about a flipping ice cream van – that brings her to her senses.

‘I think you’re an idiot,’ she replies, bring up a hand to hold the Doctor’s hand so leisurely draped over Yaz’s body. The Doctor’s hands are cool, reassuring, where her own burn hot. ‘What happens if we’re still monitoring the Federation for longer than a week? Won’t you have to take it back and lose your cover?’

The Doctor frowns, an expression that moulds her lips into what Yaz and Ryan fondly call a “scronch”. ‘Why would I be taking this back if I bought it?’

Yaz sighs.

‘Doctor, I swear to—’

Quite a lot of Yaz’s life sounds like something out of a conspiracy theorist’s overactive imagination. Thankfully, the Moon landing was not faked; and the world, she can confirm, is overwhelmingly round – but she can personally attest to aliens walking amongst humans on Earth. And more besides.

Sometimes it’s so crazy that she can’t quite believe it herself.

If you told her two years ago that the ice cream van industry was being targeted by an alien species determined to steal the original Mr. Whippy recipe from Earth and claim ownership of the delicacy throughout the known universe – she would’ve laughed you out of the room.

But, well, here she is. Trying to stop ice cream thieves.

Ryan and Graham were assigned the roles of faithful customers, parading the scorching streets of Sheffield in order to build a rapport with the city’s ice cream sellers. All those pound coins being spent (mostly Graham’s) have, eventually, paid off: they’ve compiled an effective list of who they believe to be local Federation colleagues, aliens the four of them should attempt to befriend in order to get inside information.

It’s up to the Doctor and Yaz, then, to sell the alibi – and plenty of ice creams in the meantime. While it’s the Doctor who mans the van first and foremost, Yaz joins her when police work isn’t demanding her attendance. The ice cream selling is much more preferable to patrolling the county in a roasting police uniform.

Summer 2019 has been swinging, temperature-wise, from the boring to the truly worrying. In a week where the weather has alternated between torrential rain and record-breaking heat, the two women have had a wildly varying record of success. Sometimes they’ve sat with the serving window up to see no passers-by in sight. Not that they would be able to glimpse them, anyway, behind the incessant raindrops splattering the serving window. Other times, they’ve had impatient queues consisting of the entire park they’ve visited: harassed and harangued parents struggling to keep their kids happy in the sweltering heat; groups of kids in vital need of sustenance after all their playing; older residents cashing in on the opportunity to indulge in nostalgia. Such is British weather.

The Doctor has taken to selling ice cream like a duck to water. She may not be socially tactful, but her enthusiasm around people more than makes up for it. She makes the process of making ‘Mr. Whippy’ ice creams into a show for the kids to enjoy. She juggles the ice lollies before presenting them to her amused customers, despite the little space the ice cream van provides. She can be heard whistling the ice cream van’s jingle, ‘Greensleeves’, even after her work for the day is done. There’s a knack to ice cream selling, Yaz believes, and the Doctor has it in spades.

Sometimes they even forget they’re meant to be keeping a lookout for the Federation. It’s so easy to slip into this routine, switching between serving the public as a police officer and serving the public their much-needed ice cream. Spending her time with the Doctor, floating around each other in the van guided more by the touch of fingertips on familiar clothes than by sight; it feels like something they could get settled into.

Apparently it shows.

They get looks, the Doctor and Yaz. Very specific looks. Yaz is not often in the back of the ice cream van whilst the Doctor is serving, but whenever she makes her way down, hands on the Doctor’s back as she moves, she’ll sometimes catch a glimpse of recognition from the customers. The ice cream van is a two-way mirror through which society can look at itself – the Doctor and Yaz get a feel for the surrounding community, and the customers, too, get a feel for them.

Sometimes they’re parents, surprised to see such tenderness between two women. (Sometimes their acknowledgement is one of distaste. Not always, but sometimes; Yaz does her best to stare back, to make them uncomfortable.) Sometimes, they are gay couples, and the look passed between them is one of solidarity more than anything else.

Sometimes they’re just curious kids, learning more and more about the world each day.

‘Are you two girlfriends?’

Wearing a football shirt drenched with sweat, the girl stands and waits patiently with her mother for a well-earned 99 Flake.

‘Idha!’ the mother scolds her.

Amongst the recognition of her own mini heart attack, Yaz estimates that the kid must be about 9, no older. There’s no sort of disdain coming from her. She’s just a curious little girl.

Still, that doesn’t make answering her question any easier. Honestly, Yaz was just in the back to pinch a 99 flake. That mission has backfired massively. Her heartbeat picks up.

She knows what she’d like to say. She knows that whatever answer is given now will determine the answer to that question for a while yet.

Yaz presumed the Doctor was too busy concentrating on perfecting the twirl of the ice cream to pay attention.

But the Doctor takes her by surprise. One perfect ice cream is presented, Flake squished in, with an equally made-up smile. As Yaz opens her mouth to speak – to say what, she doesn’t know – the Doctor jumps in.

‘Me and Yaz? We’re partners in crime, we are,’ she responds, with a wink. ‘Not literally. She’s a police officer, you know.’

Partners in crime. Right.

(She can’t help but notice the disappointment fizzling in her body.)

This seems to placate both child and mother long enough for the significance of the question to be forgotten. They pay for the treat – the girl utters a very polite, ‘Thank you, miss!’ – and leave.

Yaz is returning to the driver’s seat to eat her Flake in peace, but the Doctor catches her eye for just a second as they manoeuvre around the small space. The Doctor’s gaze is acquiescent; filled with a longing Yaz can’t quite place.

‘Was that—?’

The Doctor’s words are cut off by the thump of a small child managing to catapult themselves straight into the ice cream van.

 Alone time, when the great British public have not deigned the two women with their presence, is preferable for interests other than sugary cold treats. Especially when the clouds are dumping a month’s worth of rain in about three hours.

She’s been trying her hardest not to be distracted these past few days, but it’s easier said than done when it’s just been the two of them in this van. Their duty to the public comes first, of course, but in the midst of many an explicit look, Yaz has never been happier to forget her promise to serve the public their ice cream.

Besides, making out with the Doctor is so much more fun.

It’s a very middling Friday; after the ridiculous heat of Thursday, the temperatures have comparatively plummeted to around 21 degrees. The clouds overhead have sent kids running indoors, nervous about the deluge to come. A few brave souls have wandered on parched pavements, though; a couple of them have even wanted a cool treat.

Yaz’s shift doesn’t start until 7pm, so she’s free to assist the Doctor in her ice cream escapades for three more hours or so. On this slow day, she’s been the one doing the driving whilst the Doctor busies herself with stock-checking or fiddling with this strange handheld invention the Doctor has brought on board.

She can’t really understand it. There are at least three levers, and a winding gear. It has what Yaz can only conclude is a dog cone fixed hastily onto one of its ends. Whenever she has tried to ask what on Earth the entire contraption may be, the Doctor has been far too preoccupied to answer.

‘What are we even gonna do when we uncover the Federation ice cream sellers?’ she wonders. She has to make her voice loud over the sound of the engine, kept on even when they’re stationary in order to keep the ice creams cool. Getting out of the driver’s seat, she steps into the serving area to find the Doctor bent down, inspecting her rapidly depleted supply of strawberry syrup. The dog coned invention languishes at her feet, bleeping infrequently.

‘I dunno, really,’ is the Doctor’s reply, her voice stretched by her movement as she stands back up. Leaning with one hand on the van’s windowsill, she continues, ‘I’m definitely reporting them to the Shadow Proclamation, though. There are about 300 different laws on the issue of original content being stolen from species who haven’t developed enough to defend their planetary property – the Federation are breaking every single one of them.’

Coatless, with sleeves rolled back, she looks just a little more unkempt than usual, frazzled in the best way by a new hobby keeping her busy. She’s positively glowing – not from the regeneration energy, this time – and Yaz is a little more than attracted to the sight.

Yaz has to swallow it down. ‘But what about in the meantime? Surely the threat of the Shadow Proclamation won’t stop them from continuing their business right now?’

‘You’d think that, wouldn’t you?’ the Doctor muses. It’s hard, in a small space such as this, getting somewhere with so much energy, but Yaz can only describe her movement as floating – getting closer and closer to Yaz. ‘But no. The Redeto know just how little power they have in the universe. Stealing a soon-to-be popular recipe will pay off big time if successful, but the repercussions are huge. They know the stakes here.’ The Doctor shrugs. ‘Maybe if I promise I won’t rat them out.’

‘That’s if they give you an audience,’ Yaz points out. It’s a strong point, but it peters off into nothingness now the Doctor has moved so close. Their noses are almost touching. Yaz can see hazel green; wide pupils.

Her heartbeat is off the charts.

The Doctor doesn’t bother to attempt a corny line. There’s no need now she knows Yaz is unofficially, but totally, hers. Instead, her indication of intent comes in the form of nervous hands, swooping up to caress Yaz’s face. Everything is still new; with warm touch, Yaz’s skin is set on fire.

She is the one to push forward and press their lips together. It’s such a relief, every time, like breathing out after holding her breath for too long. They gasp for each other in between kisses and Yaz can feel it, that mutuality, that simplest of desires, to hold and be held. Her hands slip down the Doctor’s mustard suspenders, and she thanks her lucky stars that this feeling – this experience – is something she gets to indulge in. She’d be thankful for an only time. She’s lost count of how many times they’ve kissed now, and she grows every day in her gratitude.

She’s lost all sense of the outside world – just pressing herself further into the joy of it, the relief that comes with knowing the Doctor still wants to kiss. She’s quite forgotten that they’re stood at the serving area, kissing slow then fast, hard and tender, with open mouths and roaming hands.

She wishes she could do this all the time.

There comes a point where attention must be paid, however, to something else other than the Doctor. At a slow moment within the kiss, the Doctor stills and stalls in her previously successful endeavour of pushing her hands underneath Yaz’s jacket. Yaz immediately pulls away, regretting the absence of warm hands and confusion starting to crease her brow – until she hears it too.

Another engine. She tries to calm her heartbeat.

‘Is that…?’

‘Probably.’ The Doctor swallows, attempting to compose herself. ‘We’ve got company.’

Peeking through the serving area’s closed window, they can see an idling ice cream van. The décor is much duller than the Doctor’s – practical, toned down and perfect. It’s a perfectly respectable paint job for a perfectly respectable person – and that would be fine, of course, if it weren’t for the fact that the person in the van is very much not a person. Not a human person, anyway.

Yaz recognises the van right away – one of the people on the list. Ryan and Graham have known about this Redeto for a while, and they tasked Yaz and the Doctor to keep an eye on him. Apparently, they weren’t subtle. The stern, dangerous look on his face is indication enough. To his left, another person bends forward and makes himself known.

Two of them.

Knowing your cover might be blown is different to actually having your cover blown. Yaz keeps eye contact with the Doctor as their expressions slacken with dread. Was it their discussion? Was it Ryan and Graham? It doesn’t particularly matter.

The Redeto are not known for being considerate.

‘You alright to start driving the van?’ the Doctor asks politely, a light confidence in her voice that would be reassuring were it not for its total falsity.

Yaz gets to it. Their moment of being together is over, very over. With no small feeling of reluctance, she disentangles herself from the warmth of the Doctor’s body and makes her way to the driver’s seat, nearly tripping over the Doctor’s contraption as she does.

Almost three years of driving has prepared her enough for the small feat of piloting the ice cream van. Thereabouts, anyway. The van lurches into motion as soon as she eases her foot off the clutch and she grimaces, embarrassed. But they’re on their way.

The other ice cream van immediately follows.

Yaz swallows. They’re definitely within the realms of being chased now. This is new to her; she’s usually the one pursuing, checking for escape routes to block and ways to guide the target into stopping. On the flipside, the mounting pressure is starting to get to her.

She would not want to be in the shoes of a criminal, Yaz thinks. It’s bad enough being pursued by an ice cream van.

She takes a deep breath and presses down on the accelerator, hard. The van groans in response but reacts as best it can. It unsettles the Doctor’s balance in the back of the van.

‘Keep going, Yaz!’ she shouts, the bleeping from her invention almost a second rallying cry. ‘We can try to evade him!’

She’s on the flipside – but, Yaz realises, she can use that to her advantage. Her knowledge of Sheffield’s roads is bone-deep; better, she imagines, than an alien following the popular routes where customers would most likely be. She finds an opening and makes a sharp turn, the tyres screeching and the ice cream machines rattling raucously. Terraced houses whizz by; Yaz catches a glimpse of a mother in pyjamas putting out the bins; her eyes wide, her mouth open at the sight before – and then after – her.

This sort of scene would usually be accompanied by a dramatic film score; a heart-raising drumbeat, maybe a few electric guitars. Instead, the street is treated to the shriek of ‘Greensleeves’ as the ice cream van thunders past.

‘Yasmin Khan, you are my hero!’ the Doctor praises. ‘Nice job. Time to head for the TARDIS, don’t you th—’

‘Doctor, he’s back,’ Yaz interrupts, catching sight of him in her wing mirror. Just because she turned so quickly, it didn’t mean he couldn’t catch up. He must have found a shortcut too, she thinks. Damn. She switches gears to accommodate for the upcoming hill. A red light flashes into existence at the top of it, and a three-car-long queue has built up.

‘You’re kidding,’ she whispers. She has to stop. She is, after all, a law-abiding citizen – and a police officer. She’s the last person to defy a red light.

Waiting for the amber light gives the Federation ice cream van enough time to catch up. As they line up in adjacent lanes, the Redeto in the driver’s seat turns to look at Yaz. Yaz looks back, a disapproving frown planted very firmly on her face. And his smile widens into a smug. Weirdo, she thinks.

The green light returns, finally, and they are restricted by the cars in front for a little while. But, once more, as soon as Yaz sees an opening away from the queue, she takes it – tyres screech and the Doctor is thrown into the 99 Flakes box. The Federation van follows suit, and gains steadily as they run through a green, an amber, another green. Their van has more horsepower, the two women come to realise; once again the two ice cream vans line up. Yaz goes into another gear and speeds up, pushing past the speed limit, but it’s not enough to lose them.

The driver smiles at her again as he winds down his window. Yaz grumbles under her breath. Then the passenger leans forward again, this time having procured with a rather gun-like weapon.

She gasps – ducks her head. Just in time. The shot goes over her head, singing a couple of her hairs – and breaking both windows of the van’s driving compartment. It shatters with a high-pitched sound, and Yaz yelps.

The van veers to the left but she rights it. ‘Doctor, do something!’ she shouts over the noise of the engine. ‘He’s shooting at me!’

‘Yes, I saw!’ the Doctor shouts back. Yaz swerves the van onto another street – another residential area. Mercifully, there are no kids playing. The turn upsets the Doctor’s journey to the driving compartment, but with her free hand she holds onto the passenger seat.

The Redeto’s weapon, it seems, needs to power up again. Yaz takes the moment to glimpse at the Doctor – sleeves rolled up past her elbows, blonde hair flyaway, a few strands falling down past her forehead onto her face. There’s an intensity in the way she’s set her jaw. As she winds up the invention tucked under her arm, her right arm’s muscles tense and relax.

Yaz finds it amazing how, in the middle of being shot at, she still finds time to be wholly distracted by how impressive the Doctor looks.

Then they’re shot at again – the Doctor jumps back, Yaz compressing herself into a crouch – and she focuses on the task at hand. Namely, driving. They soar over a speed bump and the shock of the landing is particularly hard. Something in the back of the van breaks open. They return to a wider road. Still, the Federation van keeps up.

‘Now, Doctor!’ Yaz yells.

The buzzing of the Doctor’s contraption gets more and more frequent until it blends into one sound. A whirring starts up, like a whistling kettle, and the Doctor’s grin gets wide.

‘Show time,’ she breathes.

With a couple of steps, the Doctor places her body in the way of Yaz, so neither Redeto can destabilise the womens’ van. Hoisting the contraption onto her shoulder, she points the cone-end forward at the Redeto drivers and yanks down a lever. White hot light surrounds the machinery.

‘Oi!’ the Doctor shouts. ‘Stop shooting at my girlfriend!’ She presses a button, and a stream of white light gets propelled towards the Federation van.

Yaz and the Doctor speed away, but in the wing mirror, Yaz can witness what the contraption has done to their pursuers. The white light envelopes the surfaces of the ice cream van; with the two men stuck inside, they are caught in the consequences. The van completely freezes – momentum dissipating in the afternoon air – and nothing escapes. Not a sound, not a single movement. Hair does not sway. Arms do not collapse. The steering wheel does not turn.

They are simply suspended.

The sight of them in her mirror gets smaller and smaller, until they become inconsequential. Nothingness has never seemed so explicitly still. Yaz turns another corner and eases the van into a more residential-friendly speed. At this pace, the incessant ‘Greensleeves’ blaring through the ice cream van’s speakers feels less frantic.

Yaz huffs out a relieved breath.

‘Aw, mate,’ the Doctor beams from beside her. ‘I was hoping that would work.’

Yaz doesn’t want to entertain the alternative. ‘Wh-what was that?’ she asks. Her eyes are still on the road; even though the Federation van has been… apprehended, she still wants to get them as far away as possible.

The Doctor jumps into the passenger seat, already investigating the state of her contraption. The whirring has stopped, the light disappeared; the beeping, at least, is much more regular now. ‘That was a makeshift Time Stop,’ she explains. ‘Does what it says on the tin. I need this to reverse the effects, so they continue to be exactly how they were in the moment they got stopped, but by that time we’ll be much better prepared for them.’ She winds it up, and it bleeps at her. ‘I know, I know! Look, we’ll charge you when we get inside the TARDIS, alright?’ With that thought, she looks up at Yaz. ‘Can you head there now?’

Yaz nods, and changes direction.

It takes a minute or so of relative quietness – ‘Greensleeves’ is still playing, the twee high pitch fuelling Yaz’s irritation – when her brain catches up fully with the afternoon’s events. The tension of being pursued has melted away to reveal perfect memory.

She jolts in her seat.

‘Doctor,’ she says.

The Doctor jumps. ‘Yeah?’

‘You called me your girlfriend,’ Yaz states, her voice carefully devoid of anything emotional.

‘Yeah,’ the Doctor repeats, and the guilt seeps through. ‘Sorry; wasn’t thinking.’

Yaz keeps quiet, expecting the Doctor to elaborate.

It’s one of the hardest feats she’s ever achieved.

‘Sorry if that made you uncomfortable. Was just caught up in the moment, see. And when they shot at you like that – twice! – it just riled me up. Didn’t think.’ She pauses. ‘Should’ve had the conversation first, shouldn’t we?’

Yaz can’t keep the smile hidden any longer. A quick look to her left secures their eye contact. ‘I liked it,’ she shrugs, and in real time she sees the Doctor swell with delight. ‘You can keep calling me that, if you like.’

‘I will,’ the Doctor beams. She jumps up to attend to the serving area – but not before pressing a kiss to Yaz’s cheek.

The sheer joy of this revelation comes off the both of them in waves. Yaz thinks she may just appreciate ice cream vans a bit more now.

Sometimes her life is so crazy that she can’t quite believe it herself.

[faveficarchive]

Up in the Air: Part 2

Book Two of That Healing Touch Series

By K.Darblyne

Pairing: Xena/Gabrielle

Rating: PG-13

Synopsis: Garrett is five months in to her fellowship, and she and Danni are trying to change the game even more, all the while strengthening their bond. 

McMurray stood silently at his window watching the scene below on the helipad. That was one thing that he enjoyed about the placement of his office, he always knew when a helicopter arrived or took off. He thought of it as one of the perks for being Chief of Trauma Services.

The rotor had spun down to a stop before he saw the first figure approach the ship. By the physical attributes he reasoned it to be his Fellow, her long, dark hair being held back by a loose braiding. She paused at the open door, turning back to look for the rest of her team. Only seconds later did the wind-tossed blonde hair emerge into his view. The petite form cautiously reached for a handhold on the ship before attempting to step up into it. The surgeon quickly followed her in and soon the door slid closed.

The Ol’ Cutter knew that it would be a few minutes before the ship lifted off. That would leave him just enough time to pass the news along. He strode over to his desk and pressed down on the ancient call buzzer for his secretary.

"Yes, Dr. McMurray." The intercom crackled to life with the sound of the secretary’s voice.

He cleared his throat and then proceeded to wet his lips before speaking. "Let that pack of glory-seeking revenue hounds know that the Surgical Flight Team is onboard the helicopter and getting ready to take off."

The voice came back rather hesitantly. "Am I correct in assuming that you want the Board notified?"

"You’ve got that right. Then, call Communications and tell them to notify us as soon as they land."

"Yes, Sir. Will there be anything else?"

"No, nothing else for now." McMurray went back to his window and patiently waited for the helicopter to lift off.

***

The nip of the cold weather had brought some color back to Danni’s cheeks, the rosy blush giving her a healthier appearance. Garrett kept checking on her from time to time as they went through the preflight checklist that was their responsibility. The nurse had eagerly begun the task once she had strapped her helmet in place. The list was small in comparison to the one that she used in the Trauma Rooms for daily stocking. Within several minutes, the chore was done and Garrett gave the thumbs up sign one more time to the pilot. The nurse sat in her assigned seat and fumbled with the seatbelt trying to get it to connect.

"Here, let me." The voice sounded as though it was inside of her head. It was going to take some time to get used to the speaker inside the helmet. Danni held the ends up in offering to the surgeon as the whirring of the engine began to turn the blades overhead.

"Thanks," she yelled into the microphone, trying to be heard over the noise.

Garrett grabbed at the helmet trying to muffle the amplified voice that was screaming in her ear. She grimaced, then smiled sweetly. "Danni, just speak in your normal tone. I’ll be able to hear you."

The nurse grinned apologetically and nodded, not trusting herself to speak. She handed over the seatbelt locking mechanisms to the surgeon who deftly worked in her Gore-Tex gloves to secure the small team member into her seat. Garrett pulled at the belt, making the final adjustment to the size of Danni’s lap, then hurriedly secured herself into her own seat.

The pilot’s voice now spoke to them. "We’re cleared for lift off. Everyone secured back there?"

Garrett glanced over at Danni in time to see her tug at the seatbelt trying to make it tighter. "Yeah, we’re in and ready to go."

"You know that we are just going to get up there and land. Then you ladies will go into the hospital and evaluate your mock patient and deem what needs to be done. Then load him up into the medivac and we’re off again for home. Nothing fancy they told me. You got that?"

"Yeah, they mentioned that to us." Garrett nodded her head. She was glad that all Danni had to concentrate on was just getting there and back again. ‘At least this way, I can keep an eye out for her.’ The surgeon looked over to the nurse and smiled pleasantly, trying not to alert the petite woman of her growing concern.

"Okay, I’m going to increase my revolution speed so that we can lift off. It’s going to be a little bumpy at first. Just sit tight." He gave the back passengers "thumbs-up" and then quickly busied himself in his duties.

Danni closed her eyes. The incantation of earlier quickly coming to her mind. ‘You can do this. It’s only a ride…a nice safe ride. You can do this.’

The noise coming from the rotors increased dramatically. Soon afterward the shaking started as the engine whined under the heavy strain to lift the ship off the helipad. What had started as small tremors and vibrations were now escalating into outright shaking of the ship underneath them.

Danni’s hands clasped tightly around the edge of her seat, willing it to stop. Her eyes opened, searching for comfort of any kind to calm her mind from the ravaging effects that were overwhelming her. The mantra in her thoughts being replaced by one of immense terror as her eyes caught site of the buildings around them as they slowly gained height. ‘I’m going to die. Please don’t let me die.’ Then suddenly her mind went blank, as did her gaze. Her body was shutting down any sense that would bring harm to her. She sat still, transfixed on nothing, suspended in time within the realm of her own body. The nurse’s shallow breathing and glazed-over eyes were the only evidence of her being alive.

Garrett was reveling in the adrenaline rush of the moment. During her Naval Career, each time she had set foot into a helicopter it was the beginning of a new experience for her. The surgeon’s mind compared those ascents to the one she was now a part of. It was a much smaller airship then the kind used by the military, with more vibrations emanating through the hull. The bumpiness of the ride was unmistakable, as the extra weight of the helmet on her head seemed to intensify it.

Turning back from the window to look at her companion, the surgeon was met by lifeless eyes staring aimlessly into space, the petite body stiff as a board. The sluggish movement of her body to the violent bumping of the airship was the only visible motion of life.

"Danni!" She spoke softly at first trying not to startle her. Then repeatedly calling out her name, increasing louder with each time until she was yelling at the top of her lungs. The surgeon reached over and gently shook her friend. Nothing was breaking through into the world of catatonia.

Garrett’s first reaction was to have the pilot land the ship back at the helipad. Then she remembered her friend’s anger and determination to prove herself earlier when she had suggested not taking the flight. It only took a minute for the surgeon to decide doing it would be a blatant act of betrayal on her part.

She had been witness to this kind of behavior one other time. It was a young sailor who had done the same thing on his first flight. As soon as the turbulence had diminished he was fine and able to function with no problems. In fact, he had no memory of the event even happening.

Garrett waved her hand in front of Danni’s face as the ride started to smooth out. To coin an old phrase, the light was on but nobody was home. The young woman’s features remained devoid of any emotion, her skin a pasty white. The surgeon fumbled with her seatbelt. Once it was released she positioned her body in front of Danni’s, bringing her face within inches of the young nurse. Blue orbs searched relentlessly into the abyss of green straining to see some semblance of life. Gone was the spark that had flickered and danced with mirth giving that familiar impish quality to her features.

With one hand on Danni’s shoulder and the other under her chin, Garrett talked calmly in an attempt to pull the nurse out of her catatonic state. "Danni, I’m right here with you. Can you see me?" She searched the depths of her friend’s eyes but still could see no inkling of recognition in them. "You’re safe here with me. I won’t let anything bad happen to you."

The surgeon turned to the pilot, motioning for him to turn his headset controls to monitor the back of the ship. She waited for him to comply with her request. "How much longer until we set down?"

The pilot scanned the horizon for his pivotal landmark then came back with his reply. "One minute to designated LZ." Then he quickly turned his attention back to piloting the ship into its downward approach.

The surgeon repositioned herself in front of the nurse and started talking to her in a reassuring tone. "We’re going to be setting down in the landing zone now. You’ll feel some vibrations as the ship descends. There’s nothing to be afraid of. You hear me, nothing." Garrett detected a slight nod of Danni’s head and feeding into her encouragement, the surgeon continued to reassure her young friend. Within minutes the helicopter had landed, the blades spinning to a stop. It was now safe enough for them to leave the confines of the airship. Garrett hastily released the seatbelt on her friend and scooped up the rigid form into her arms. The surgeon’s only thought was to get Danni onto firm ground and show her that she was out of any danger.

The large powerful hand of the surgeon jerked open the door giving her access to the outside. The sting of the cold against her flesh made Danni turn her face into the leather-clad form. Its soft feel against her skin mixed with the familiar scent of the leather helped to bring the nurse back to life. The barely audible mumbled rambling that came from the young woman was like music to Garrett’s ear as she continued to talk to her, coaxing her back from catatonia. There, they remained oblivious to the world around them, absorbed only in the sight, sound and feel of each other.

***

The dignitaries of the two hospitals that had been gathered to witness the test of the Surgical Flight Team were unimpressed. The huge build-up that they had been given ahead of time simply fizzled with each passing moment. All that anyone could see were two figures, one in the arms of the other. There was no action and excitement as they had been told. For all that any of them knew it could have been two housekeepers in those suits.

The random grumbling of the executives began to take on more pointed comments as to the team’s abilities. Each one voiced their opinion in an effort to outdo the last one.

The co-founder of the team, Dr. Ian McCormick was finding it downright embarrassing. Where had he gone wrong? The numbers were there. He had checked the data himself. The only thing that he had never considered was human frailty. And now, it was biting him in the ass.

"Hey, McCormick! Do we need to provide a Psychiatric Consult each time they come, or will they bring their own shrink?"

Before Ian could address the question, another one was thrown his way.

"Is that all they can do, or do they faint at the sight of blood too?"

There was laughter coming from all around him now. This was not how it was supposed to happen. There were supposed to be cheers of triumph not of defeat. One by one the gathered crowd started moving back into the warmth of the building. Soon Ian was left standing there all alone.

***

Several minutes had passed by and the young nurse was becoming more aware of the world around her. The microcosm that was theirs now started to expand to include more than just the two. Danni’s hands clung on to the feel of the leather underneath them as she began to look about. There, off in the distance was the familiar figure of Dr. McCormick. The lone man was making his way toward them with puffs of steam coming from his mouth and nose with each labored breath.

"Gar…"

"Hmmm…"

The small hands tugged on the leather that they were curled around. "Gar, I think you better put me down now."

"Oh, ah…yeah." She didn’t want to break the bond of having the small woman in her arms. "You able to stand?" The blue eyes looked for any indication of the opposite.

Danni closed her eyes and nodded. "Don’t look now but I think we’re in for trouble." Garrett spun around to view the approaching form, then delicately lowered the nurse until her feet were touching the ground. The surgeon’s strong hands stayed in contact with the petite woman, ready at a moment’s notice to catch her if the situation warranted it. They stood side by side waiting for the impending confrontation.

"What the hell do you two think you’re doing?" Ian’s voice was menacing. "You look more like the poster for Boy’s Town, than a Surgical Team." He shook his head wildly. "I can’t believe you made me look like a fool in front of all those people. Because of you, we’re going to be the laughing stock of the entire area. Hell, within a week it will probably be across the entire nation." McCormick kept advancing until he was within a few feet of the women.

Danni could feel the tension increase in the hands that still held on to her. She glanced up to see Garrett’s jaw becoming set and her body straightening to its full height. The nurse stood her ground when the gentle tug came as the surgeon tried to position herself between the approaching man and the petite blonde. Their eyes met, each one of them intent on their own plan.

Finally Danni spoke up. "I’m not hiding behind you."

With that understood, Garrett nodded in agreement. "All right, we face this together, like a team then."

They both turned to eyeball the man who was now only a few feet away, his hand moving all around in emphasis to his spoken thoughts. "I expected more from you, Trivoli. God damn hot shot! I should have known that a woman would fall to pieces at the first sign of danger. You were supposed to be our ace in the hole. Now look at where you’ve gotten us." He spit on the ground. "We look like asses now. It will take years to get rid of this fiasco."

Garrett’s hands dropped to her sides, her fists balling tightly, waiting for the call into action. The sounds of her snorted respiration were a definite sign of the anger that was building up on the interior of the usually well-regimented surgeon.

Her eyes narrowed, their steely color turning to ice blue. "You don’t even care what happened up there. You’re more concerned with how you look to those idiots than you are about your own people." Garrett clenched her jaw. "Why I have a good mind to…"

"If you had a good mind, you would have been able to complete your mission." He snapped. "What’s the matter with you?"

"Nothing! Nothing is the matter with her." Danni spoke up. "It was me. I…I kind of zoned out during the flight. She was only trying to…"

"Only trying to what? It certainly wasn’t part of her job, or yours for that matter. All you had to do was get off the damn helicopter and come over to the mock patient: assess, treat and take him for a ride back in the helicopter. Nothing fancy. It was all to be a show." He turned and took a step or two then quickly pivoted back in their direction. "Bossard, you’re grounded." Ian’s arm thrust forward and his extended finger pointed straight at Danni. "Better yet, you’re out of the program."

The nurse nodded, resigned that her fate was sealed. She looked to Garrett apologetically. The tears were starting to well up in her eyes, her hands just hung dejectedly by her sides. She had let her friend down, and now there was nothing she could do to correct it.

"We’ll get you another nurse as a partner, Trivoli. Try not to be so soft with the next one."

"Soft? You call being compassionate and caring soft? I thought that doctors were supposed to come to the need of the sick or injured." The surgeon slowly inched her way toward the man until she was within reach of him. Her fist shot up to his face and her forefinger extended as she brought it down into his bulky coat covered chest. "I suppose that you would have wanted me to walk away from her in a catatonic state." With each new point she made, her finger pushed a little harder into the coat until finally he began to backpedal. "Would it have been a better show for you? We’re a team. Do you know what that means? In the military that means you take care of your own first and foremost. You can her. You can me. I don’t want another partner. I won’t have another partner. Do you understand that?"

By this time they were several steps away from where they had started. Danni watched in awe at the temperament of her friend. She stood frozen in time until she caught sight of Garrett raising her opposite arm. Sensing what was to come, the nurse bolted toward the arguing figures. She readily stepped in between the two towering figures, facing the surgeon. Bringing her hands up above her head, Danni caught hold of Garrett’s arms preventing them from slamming into the E.R. Attending’s chest.

The icy cold, blue crystals raged with an all-consuming fire as the surgeon locked her gaze on the petite woman. The green pools churned with the will of a giant wave, first capturing the attention of its prey, then crashing down on it, releasing its cooling effect all around.

"Gar, he’s not worth it. Nothing is worth that." Danni could feel the anger letting go in her friend and breathed a sigh of relief.

Ian McCormick was appalled to think that a Fellow would have the balls to confront him in such a manner. Then he remembered that Garrett Trivoli was a woman, and his mind was completely intrigued by the force that she had displayed toward him. He quickly took check of his body and found himself to be turned on by the sheer power that the raven-haired beauty exuded. ‘God! What I wouldn’t give to taste all of her treasures.’ He could feel his heartbeat quicken and his breathing becoming ragged. He wasn’t sure whether it was the excitement of the exchanged words or the heat of passion that was coming over him.

He stepped back and threw up his arms in disgust. "Have it your way then. I’ll see that the Board is aware of your feelings. I’m sure that they’ll have a few things to say to you both when you get back." Ian turned and marched off in the direction of his parked car, never once looking back.

There were a few moments of silence while the accountability of their actions was being reconsidered. They each knew that they were both responsible for the dismal performance during and after the flight to warrant their departure from the program. Each one blaming themselves solely for it and absolving the other at the same time.

"Gar, I’m sorry."

"No need to be sorry, Danni. This wasn’t why I came here for the Fellowship. I’m a surgeon. I never really wanted to be riding around in helicopters and doing drop-in surgeries." Garrett looked away for a minute before casting her gaze back on Danni. "I…I never wanted you to have to go through that." She motioned to the helicopter. "I guess we should find another way back to the hospital. I’m sure that by the time we get there, McCormick will have the Board asking for our heads on a platter in retribution for today."

"Come on, let’s go tell the pilot his crew has been grounded."

The two women walked slowly back to the airship.

***

The pilot had seen enough when he got out of the ship to know that he didn’t want to be a witness to an altercation of any kind. He was an older man, his face worn with experience. He had seen many a heated argument between enlisted men and their superiors during his time in Vietnam. It’s funny the way men will fight to save your life and then, when they get back to the safety of the home base, want to rip your head right off for some foolhardy judgement call that was made. He had learned early on to stay out of the way, but mostly out of sight of any confrontations.

He figured that there was at least enough time for him to find a restroom and a good cup of java before he’d be needed again. After shutting down the engine, he exited the ship and walked across the helipad to the warmth of the building directly ahead. Once inside, he nodded a silent greeting to the clerk at the desk and made his way back into the treatment area. This was one of the frequent outlying hospitals that he had flown into often during his time with civilian medivacs. It was a hot bed for trauma. That’s why, he guessed, that it was chosen for today’s little demonstration.

He took his time using the facilities. He was certainly in no rush. Nobody’s life was at stake. Well, maybe just one. His mind thought of the tall surgeon and the fury that he had seen in her. ‘Nope, sure don’t want to be in her path when that pent up tornado lets go.’

The pilot strode down the hall to the nurse’s lounge with its tall urn of coffee waiting for him. His pointed toe boots clicked against the tile floors as he went. They weren’t regulation but they were his trademarks and that’s how he got his nickname. ‘Cowboy,’ that’s what he was known as.

He poured himself a drink of the potent black liquid and sat down to warm up as he slowly sipped away. It wasn’t long before he heard the scurry of activity around the E.R. A few seconds later, he heard one of the nurses calling out his name.

"Cowboy!" The woman stuck her head around the corner looking into the lounge. "Jeez, Cowboy, we’ve been looking for you. They need a medivac up at the old logging site. There’s been an accident. A tree came down wrong and someone is pinned underneath it." Her eyes had that desperate look to them, as if there was more to it than she was saying.

He shrugged his shoulders. "I’m out of service, strictly a training mission on this one. You better call dispatch and put in your request."

"We already did. They’re all committed to patients right now. The best time to get one here could be over an hour." She pleaded with him. "Can’t you do anything to help?"

"The best that I could do is check with dispatch and see if they can hurry one along." He grimaced at the thought. He always knew how dangerous it was to think about the next flight when you were still locked into one already. That’s when a pilot would make mistakes that could be fatal.

He picked up his Styrofoam cup that was half full of java and got up. "Okay, show me to your phone." He followed her out to the front desk of the E.R.

***

After waiting at the ship for the pilot’s return, the two women decided to go looking for him inside the building. They walked over to the hospital as Garrett thought about what might be their best form of transportation to get back home without exposing the young nurse to another bout of catatonia. She had made her mind up. The surgeon was not about to ask Danni to step foot on another helicopter for as long as she knew her. ‘I wonder if there’s a rental car place around here?’ She thought about her habit of carrying a credit card with her, even into the operating theatre. ‘I guess it’s going to come in handy today.’

The blonde was somewhat let down by her own inability to cope with the thought of flying. She had so wanted to be there and functional for her friend. ‘Fat chance in hell, now. I’ll never be able to make this up to her.’ She thought a moment and considered all the ramifications of the botched job today. ‘I bet that carte blanche on the survivor project goes right down the tubes, too.’ She was beating herself up over something that she had no idea how to remedy. ‘I wish…’ she sighed. ‘Damn it! I’ll never get another chance.’ The tip of her small boot made contact with a stray stone on the driveway in front of the building and sent it flying.

The motion caught Garrett’s eye. She looked over to her friend and sensed the frustration that she was in. ‘If only we could prove to them that it would be different when it was for real. I know that Danni could pull it all together when there’s a patient involved.’ It was such a shame. The two had literally been thrown together and found that they both flourished in each other’s presence. The last three weeks had proven that, not only to them, but to others too.

The now defunct Surgical Flight Team entered the sparsely populated waiting room in search of their pilot. Eyes scanning the room, Danni spotted the flight suit through the window of the doors leading into the treatment area. She reached out and touched the surgeon’s arm drawing her attention. "Gar, I think I see him."

The tall woman followed Danni’s line of sight. "Hmmm…Might as well tell him that he’s free to go without us."

They each reached out and pushed open the doors of the E.R. and stepping through them presented a unified front. Between the unison of their actions and the commanding flight suits, it was a sight to behold. The head of the E.R. Clerk bobbed up and his mouth dropped open. Another nurse at the front desk fumbled with a chart dropping it onto the floor. She was so startled by their presence. Garrett turned her head slightly toward Danni and raised an eyebrow in question. While Danni’s only response was the subtle raising of her shoulders and the tiny giggle that she tried to restrain.

The waving hand of the pilot motioning them to come nearer grabbed their attention. He covered up the mouthpiece of the phone and called out to them. "Dr. Trivoli!" He waited for a few seconds until they were standing next to him. "I’ve got dispatch on the landline here. Seems that all of the other helicopters are committed to patients and there’s an emergency call for a medivac up here in this neck of the woods." He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I told them that I’d ask you if you’d take it."

The nurse quickly spoke up, trying to fill them in on what little details that she knew. "It’s up at the logging site. One of the men is pinned underneath a tree." Her eyes pleaded for assistance.

Danni looked up to see the strange twinkle that her friend’s eyes always got when their own trauma pagers beckoned them. She knew that the surgeon felt compelled to help. "Garrett…"

Garrett pushed the rising adrenaline rush back down. "We’ve been officially grounded. Sorry, but we won’t be able to help."

Danni looked over at the surgeon. Her eyes showed the confusion that she was experiencing. Then it came to her like a flash of lightning. ‘I never thought she would refuse to help anyone.’ Green eyes darted back and forth from the pilot to Garrett and back again. ‘She’s doing this because of me. She won’t go without me.’ "Wouldn’t it be best for us…"

The surgeon peered down at the blonde. "I’m not making you get back on that helicopter."

"Gar, we just can’t not help." The nurse was determined to speak up. "We could be his only hope. I can’t just walk away."

The voice started out as a low growl. "Danni…"

The blonde planted her hands on her hips and looked directly into the taller woman’s eyes. "We’re wasting time here, Dr. Trivoli. Are you coming or not?" A few seconds passed when Danni delivered her one-two punch straight to the surgeon’s brain. "This could be the only chance I ever get to prove myself. At least let me try."

Garrett thought about what Danni had just said. ‘Maybe that will do it. I know that her patients always come first.’ She nodded slightly then turned her gaze to the pilot. "Well, don’t just stand there. We’ve got a patient to take care of." The surgeon could feel the adrenaline already surging through her veins. One look at Danni was all that she needed to tell her that this ride was going to be different…a lot different.

***

Within minutes they were belted in and going over the checklist of supplies and equipment, making sure that everything was ready should they need to use it quickly. Garrett looked up from her task in time to see the familiar twirling finger of the pilot signifying that he was ready for lift off. The surgeon watched as Danni busied herself now with the small satchel that held the drugs that they may need to give for one purpose or another. The nurse wasn’t even noticing the vibrations that were going through the ship as it gained altitude. Her mind seemed completely centered on what she was doing.

Garrett breathed a sigh of relief when the helicopter started its forward flying and the shaking became almost non-existent. She watched the young nurse for any sign of distress, or the reemergence of the catatonia. Seeing none, the surgeon settled into her thoughts of what she needed to do to keep the man alive.

Either the pilot was finding no pockets of air turbulence, or flying with kid gloves on, holding the ship steady. Cowboy was giving his passengers the smoothest ride that he could, even on his descent into the designated LZ.

The surgeon looked over to see Danni unscathed by the experience as she readily released her seatbelt and grabbed for her assigned satchels to carry.

Garrett opened the door and the team quickly disembarked the craft. They knew that it would have to be a hot unload, and remembered to keep their heads low, bodies hunched over and out of the way of the blades spinning over them.

They were met by the foreman of the logging crew who told them what had transpired when the tree fell incorrectly. This simple miscalculation had caused a chain reaction of unbelievable events to happen. That’s when they found out that the trapped man was not a member of the logging crew, but instead a Road Department Worker who was just driving by in his dump truck filled with road salt.

The trio walked to the edge of the road and looked down at the truck, as it lay on its side halfway down the hillside, the huge tree resting on top of it.

"Where’s the driver?" Garrett immediately asked, her eyes darting across the wreckage.

Danni took in a breath when she saw the wreckage shifting ever so slightly as a few loose stones took off rolling down the hillside.

"He’s trapped under the side of the dump. Got his foot pinned underneath the edge of it." He wiped his brow with the coat sleeve on his forearm. "We tried, but we can’t get him free. His foot is between a ledge of rock and the body of the truck. I think he’s going to either lose that foot or his life."

"Is EMS or the fire department here yet?" The surgeon looked around for any sign of their arrival.

"Well, Doc, we usually take care of our own evacs up here. We just call for the helicopter to get them out. Takes the locals way too long to get up here to our part of the hill. Besides, they usually get stuck on our mud roads."

The surgeon’s eyes narrowed. This was a whole new ballgame from the one that they thought that they were going to. "You got a backboard?"

"Yeah, it’s already down there."

"Danni, we’ll take the drug bag, the surgical tools, and large dressings."

"Okay, Doc." The nurse quickly ditched the rest of the bags. "Already to go."

They walked along the edge of the road until they were parallel to the rear of the dump truck. Looking down they could see the loose stones shifting under the weight of the wreckage. Garrett evaluated the degree of tilt and the slope of the hill. She needed to figure out just how long they would have to do the necessary procedure if it was warranted. She didn’t like what she was coming up with.

Staring down at the truck, she held her hand out to Danni. "Give me the bags. There’s no sense in both of us risking our lives."

The nurse grabbed back the bags. "Listen Garrett, we agreed that we were a team. Where you go, I’m going. You’ll be able to work fast with another set of hands to help you."

Garrett clenched her teeth together as she traded glances with Danni. "Okay! Just stay right beside me and do what I say."

The blonde nodded her head. "Right by you."

The two women took off down the embankment being careful not to loosen any more soil then necessary. Once they were below the level of the wreckage, they crossed over to where the man lay, trapped from his ankle down.

"Hey, sir. We’re going to get you out of this mess. How are you doing?" The surgeon was yelling out to the man as soon as she saw his body.

"For the love of God, get this damn truck off of me," his voice was filled with anger. "I should never have came up over that damn hill."

"Well, so much for the A and B." Danni was making reference to the man’s ability to maintain his airway and that he was breathing. The nurse hastily knelt down next to the man and looked into his eyes and around his upper body for any signs of injury. "Just try to stay still. Do you hurt anywhere?"

"Nah, just that damn ankle." His breathing was labored as he tried to control the excruciating pain. "I’m a goner Doc…You’re not going to get that dump off of me. Go on, get out of here before it shifts."

Garrett surveyed the damage to the man’s ankle. The foreman had been right. That rock ledge wasn’t going to allow them any leeway in releasing the extremity. "Sir, I may have to amputate that foot to save your life. From what I can see of it here, it’s pretty well crushed from the weight of the truck."

"They told me that they had a surgeon flying in. I kind of knew that it was hopeless then. Just get me out of here." His eyes widened and he let out a scream as more stones traveled down the hillside, the evidence that the truck was again shifting.

"Sir, are you allergic to anything, any medications?" The nurse was opening the drug compartment of the bag she was carrying, in anticipation of the surgeon’s orders.

He grimaced in agony. "No…Nothing."

"Danni, start an I.V. and give him 5 milligrams of morphine."

The nurse quickly set about her duties, finding a large vein in his forearm for the I.V. site. Her years of trauma experience were evident by her skills. She had already prepared and flushed the tubing prior to their landing. Now all she needed to do was to insert the I.V. catheter, secure it in place and make the final connection to the fluid-filled bag. Next she reached for the pre-filled syringe of the ‘pain-killing’ drug. "Five of morphine in. You should feel that starting to work very soon, sir."

By this time the surgeon had exposed the trapped limb from all clothing. She didn’t like the idea of amputating the foot but it was going to be his only chance to live. Garrett prepared her mind for what she was about to do.

"Oh, boy! That’s some good stuff, Doc." He winked at Danni. "Thanks little lady." His face was becoming less tortured looking with pain as the drug began taking effect.

The surgeon observed the patient as she pulled on her surgical gloves and took up her scalpel. The logging crew had placed the man in a cervical collar to protect his spine and slid the long backboard underneath him as far as they could with one belt around his waist holding it in place.

Several small stones again started rolling down from the edge of the wreckage. Then more trickled down from the other side of the patient. What had begun as only a few, now turned into a cascade of shifting stones and dirt as Garrett looked up to see the movement of the dump body coming over top of them. She threw the scalpel off behind her and dove over top of the patient pulling her team member into the shelter of her body. There, the three lay huddled, one on top of the other, as the weight of the wreckage caused the truck to turn over on them, trapping them in the now empty dump bed. The tree came shifting over top of the wreckage, causing it to continue to roll down the hill until it stopped abruptly at the bottom with a loud metallic crash.

Garrett and Danni slowly raised their heads, looking cautiously as to where the next barrage was going to come from. Seeing none, they allowed themselves a brief glance at each other, the warming smile of each telling the other that the other team member was safe. They had survived a fate much worse than any helicopter ride, and they knew it.

As they pulled themselves up off of each other and their patient, several members of the logging crew had come down the hillside to assist them. Within minutes, the group of rescuers had made their way to the road with the patient strapped onto the backboard ready for transport. Even though his leg was still intact, the crushing injury might still result in his losing the lower portion of the extremity. Garrett knew that with injuries like that, the faster they get to a Trauma Center, the greater chance they had for saving it.

The surgeon pressed the group for their best effort in making the trip to the awaiting helicopter an expedient one.

Danni took off ahead of the group gathering up the bags that they had brought with them. She reached the helicopter easily and motioned for the pilot to get ready. Stowing the bags quickly inside the crew compartment, she emerged just in time to take up her position as tail guard. This would assure that no one would accidentally venture too close to the spinning tail rotor blades. Keeping her body hunched over, she motioned for the rescuers to do likewise.

Once the patient was loaded in and the logging crews were away from the ship, the nurse left her safety position and climbed in, closing the door after her. She scampered hurriedly to belt herself in as Garrett signaled to the pilot that they were ready to lift off.

Danni attended to the patient as Garrett relayed information about the patient’s condition to the awaiting Trauma Center by radio. The commanding voice was precise with her description of the injuries that were sustained. The nurse waited until the surgeon was finished before looking over at her and smiling proudly.

"What?" Garrett looked around the patient and then herself.

The nurse’s voice was soft and loving as she spoke. "Thanks, Gar, for back there. I realize that it could have been a little messy if you hadn’t pulled me in." Her facial features were expressing her sentiment better than her words.

"Hey, we’re a team. Remember?" Then with a look of genuine concern she asked. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I’m fine now." She let her look linger on her friend for only a moment before she went back to caring for her patient.

***

They landed unceremoniously and whisked their patient into the Trauma Room where the team of Orthopedic Surgeons had been assembled at Garrett’s request. After giving a speedy report, Danni and Garrett both wished the patient a quick recovery from his injuries and turned to leave the room.

"Hey, Doc!" He hoarsely called out. "Thanks for everything. You two are ‘A’ number one in my book." Then he held up his forefinger in an exemplary display of the number and then waved. The two women just smiled in silence and nodded at the acknowledgment as they left the room.

Outside in the hallway, the pair was meet by Nan, the Nursing Manager. "Danni, Dr. Trivoli," she greeted them. "I’ve been asked to inform you that your presence is requested in Dr. McMurray’s office, STAT."

They each took in a deep breath and then let it out, knowing that the excitement was not yet over for the day.

***

The Surgical Flight Team stood before the desk in the outer office of Dr. McMurray, their clothing rumpled and dirty but their spirits united in their newfound teamwork. The satisfaction of a job well done reflected in their confidence as they waited to be admitted in to see their boss.

Danni leaned in toward the tall surgeon, whispering. "I thought Nan said STAT. I wonder what we’re waiting for?"

"Be careful what you ask for, you may find out sooner than you’d like." Garrett joked back at her, keeping her voice just slightly above a whisper as they took up seats along the wall.

The door to the Ol’ Cutter’s office opened and members of the Board of Directors filed out, each one with a grim look on their face. Bringing up the end of the line was Ian McCormick himself. He cast his eyes down and just kept walking. Obviously he was not getting what he was after. The scowl on his face was pretty evident.

Danni nudged Garrett’s arm with her shoulder. Even sitting, the surgeon was still taller than the nurse. The quick shift of her eyes and the subtle nod of her head were all that was necessary for the surgeon to understand.

Garrett took in a deep cleansing breath as she tried to calm her already edgy nerves. It had been a tough day. Tougher than she had ever imagined that it might be. She had been troubled by the prospects of a Middle East conflict, terrified when her teammate suffered from catatonia, put on display then subjected to the belittling tantrum of Dr. McCormick, and then thrust into a real life rescue that nearly got her team killed. The kicker of it all was that today was only supposed to be a dry run, a test of their preparedness as a team. Well, by the looks of it, her team was prepared for just about anything that life could throw at them. The surgeon closed her eyes to help further instill her calming thoughts.

The feather light touch of the small hand on hers was all that Garrett needed. The soft tingles of electricity coursed through her body, chasing out the last remnants of anger or apprehension for the upcoming meeting with her mentor. As the calmness overtook her body, the beginning hints of that lopsided smile of hers came to the surface. The two women glanced at each other and began to chuckle.

McMurray stood in his doorway observing the subtleties about the interaction between the surgeon and the nurse. He could actually see that the two were now closer than ever, both in mind and body. He reveled in his keen insight and made a mental note to talk to his wife about it when he got home.

The Ol’ Cutter cleared his throat and called out crankily. "Trivoli! Bossard! In my office now!" Then he turned and walked back to his desk.

The two slowly got up from their seats and then filed into the office, Danni taking the lead.

‘Now that’s a switch.’ McMurray sat down and motioned for them to do the same. He watched them closely for a minute and then began to speak. "I understand that you two have had a pretty rough day. Seems to me that all you were supposed to do was go for a little ride in that helicopter of ours and show your faces at an outlying facility." He paused studiously then added. "Isn’t that correct?"

Garrett’s thoughts were in a quandary now. ‘He’s way too calm for all that happened today. I wonder what’s up.’

They both nodded and answered meekly, "Yes."

"You didn’t do that, did you?"

"Sir, if you would allow me to explain…" The surgeon leaned forward to talk.

McMurray threw up his hand in a halting motion. "When it’s your turn to talk, I’ll tell you." The man peered at them over top of his glasses.

The women sat quietly and nodded.

"Let me tell you what you did manage to do today." He looked directly at Danni now. "You, Nurse Bossard, should have told us of your problem with flying. But you didn’t and therefore put the entire helicopter crew in a high-risk situation. The confined space of a ship such as that is no place to lose it and go berserk."

"Yes, sir." Danni answered weakly.

Now, McMurray turned his gaze to the Fellow. "Did you know about that phobia of hers, Trivoli?"

"I suspected she might."

"Don’t you think that it might have been a good idea to let us know about it?" He snorted and then coughed. "I guess not…eh?"

"I was looking out for her." The surgeon stated.

The man looked sternly at the tall woman then cleared his throat. "You are the only two that I know of who could totally botch up a simple little exercise to the point of embarrassment on the part of the entire hospital. McCormick wants your heads on a platter and has the whole Board of Directors in an uproar." The Ol’ Cutter paused to watch their reaction. Watching the uniform slumping of their shoulders told him that they both were taking responsibility for their actions.

"You get grounded, Nurse Bossard," he paused then shifted his glance to the other. "Then you go barging right in and ground yourself along with her."

The woman both nodded in agreement.

"Hmmm…" He sniffed and then scratched at his chin. "Then, when an emergency call for a helicopter comes in, you two just up and decide to take it. Oh, let me correct that. First you argue about not letting her ride in a helicopter again." He points to Danni. "Then miraculously you overcome your phobia of flying and ungrounded yourself only to have her," now pointing to Garrett, "follow right along and commandeer the airship."

McMurray looked questioningly at them both. "I’ve gotten everything right so far, haven’t I?" He waited a minute. "I thought so."

He got up and walked behind his chair. "Then you put yourselves in a damn near suicidal rescue, thinking that you’re going to have to amputate a man’s foot to save his life. Now if that’s not enough, things go drastically wrong fairly quickly and nobody gets hurt. The logging crews are your biggest fans and the media had gotten wind of the botched up training flight and is now clambering at our doorsteps to do a human-interest piece on the new Surgical Flight Team. A team that is already saving lives in heroic rescues and they aren’t even fully trained yet."

There was dead silence as the Chief of Trauma Services glared down at them from his standing position.

Danni spoke first. "We’re sorry. We didn’t…"

"Sorry, hell!" The voice was loud and strong. Then he walked over to them and smiled. "It was the best damn PR that this hospital has ever gotten. All the news stations want to know about the two women who overcame adversity to save a public works employee."

"So," Danni wrinkled up her nose and asked shyly. "Does that mean you’re not mad at us?"

"Damn right. Now, go and have a Merry Christmas." He shooed them out of his office.

"Thanks, Sir." "Thanks," was their slightly off beat reply.

"Oh, and Trivoli, you are allowed in the operating room for the next two days. I can’t have my holiday Trauma Fellow standing outside looking in. Now, can I?"

Her eyes immediately perked up. The slump of her shoulders was now leaving, causing her to stand proud and tall. She looked to her friend and saw the mirror of her own self-realization taking affect in her, too.

They went through the door and McMurray could hear the bantering of close friends start. Yes, they had bonded well into a team and he knew that they could go even further if they would only put their hearts and souls into it.

"Yes, it’s going to be a very good Christmas after all." The Ol’ Cutter sat down in his chair and picked up his phone. He suddenly felt the need to tell his wife how much he loved her.

Chapter 4

The day started early for Danni. There were a lot of things to be done and little time to do them in. It was the morning of Christmas Eve and she still needed to wrap presents, decorate the tree that she and Garrett had picked out last night on their way home, and bake cookies. It was going to be a big task, but Christmas was her holiday and she considered it a labor of love.

She crept out of her room with the biggest grin on her face. She had awakened before Garrett this morning. That in itself was something to be happy about. There were times she thought the surgeon never slept.

She noticed that the door to her friend’s room was slightly ajar. Tiptoeing over to it, she opened it just enough to look in. By the lumpiness of the covers and the soft rhythmic sounds of breathing, the woman was asleep and probably would be for a while longer. ‘Gar’s probably beat after all that we went through yesterday. I can’t believe how she stuck by me. I’m sure that anybody else would never have set foot into a helicopter with me again, after witnessing first hand my terrible performance on that initial flight.’ She thought to herself as she closed the door and then rested her forehead against it.

Danni remembered how it felt to be in Garrett’s arms when she came out of her phobia-induced stupor. The leathery scent of the surgeon’s flight jacket and the warmth of the body that she was being held against were so comforting to her soul. It was as though, somewhere in the expanse of time, she had experienced it before. The nurse closed her eyes, then made a wish that she would experience them again some day sans her stupor. She sighed heavily, then pushed off the door trying to get her thoughts back on track.

Within minutes of taking care of her morning toilet, the young woman was eagerly sorting through her favorite recipes, looking for just the right one. Christmas came once a year and therefore dictated that everything be special. She had a certain recipe in mind. It was just a matter of finding where she had placed it for safekeeping.

Danni’s mother had always made a fuss over her daughters’ effort in the kitchen. To her, it was one of the mandatory skills for a good mother and wife. In that spirit, Brie and Danni liked to show off their culinary advances each year as one tried to outdo the other. Christmas was always the big showdown. The older daughter now considered herself to have the edge this year. What, with Brie being pregnant she wouldn’t have the energy to go all out as in previous years.

Danni paged through the cookbook one last time. She had overlooked it on her first pass of the category but found it this time. It was a festive Stollen recipe that she had come across several months ago in a seldom-used book on her shelf. The dough was raised and the braiding of the layers gave it a very ornate appearance. ‘Now with just a little creative liberty for the filling, I’ll have something that looks and tastes like Christmas, as much as Santa himself.’ She chuckled and then tried to imitate the deep belly laugh of the old elf.

Moving quickly around the kitchen, the young woman set to work making her Christmas creation. The dough would need time to rise and that would allow her to pull together the rich nut and cranberry filling that would be used in conjunction with it. Danni was in her element with the soft music of Christmas carols and the smells of the holiday baking.

The time was passing quickly when she finally put the neatly braided Stollen into the oven. It was approaching 0700 and Garrett still hadn’t come out of her room. ‘I guess she was really tired.’ Danni set the timer on the stove and decided that now was as a good time to go wrap the few remaining presents in her room. There was one gift in particular that needed to be wrapped and soon. The small blonde thought about it and a sly smile came over her face. ‘I hope she’ll like it.’

***

The soft strains of seasonal music were filtering in under the door as the long limbs began to stir under the covers. Slowly, the woman became more in tune with the world around her as each of her senses began to come to life. The smooth, silky touch of the sheets stimulated parts of her body as they brushed against it, causing her to moan in a low throaty tone. She turned over and nestled her head into the pillow, a slight smile gracing her face. Garrett’s nosed twitched, trying to distinguish the scent that was wafting in around the door. The sweet smell of nuts and berries was causing her mouth to water.

One eyelid opened as her mind struggled to gain a foothold on waking up. The lone orb surveying the room as it tried to establish some sense of time. The muted light coming from around her blinds gave a soft appearance to the furniture in the room. ‘Damn!’

By the look of the day breaking outside, she knew that she had slept in. The surgeon was used to rising early, long before the first rays of daylight ever came on the horizon.

Garrett rolled onto her back, bringing both her hands up to scrub her face free of any last lingering remnants of sleep. Stifling a yawn, she momentarily drifted to the events of yesterday. Lost in her thoughts now, she closed her eyes and concentrated on the facial expression that Danni had shown her. The agony of seeing that emotionless face was making Garrett feel like her heart was being torn from her chest. It was as though the bubbly nurse had never existed except in statue form. The surgeon’s heart began to race with fear of never again experiencing the warmth and laughter that the young woman brought to her being.

Suddenly she felt short of breath, like the life was being drained out of her body. Her strong arms pushed her upper torso off the bed, her elbows locking to hold her steady. Before she knew what was happening, she could hear her own loud gasping for breath. Her mind flashed with the dump truck bed crashing down toward the small blonde nurse. Garrett’s eyes widened with terror. Then she realized just how close they had come.

‘Jeez, I nearly lost her yesterday.’

"Gar…are you awake?" The soft voice was coming from the other side of the door.

The surgeon’s eyes flashed with awareness at the sound of the voice. ‘By the gods, if this is hell, they really know how to torture me.’ Garrett tried to slow her breathing as she leaned forward, clutching the covers to her supple form. She took a deep breath in and out before she cleared her throat to answer. "Yeah…I’m up. I must have overslept." She could feel the surge of adrenaline that her system had been given dissipating.

"Well, when you’re ready, come on down and I’ll fix us both a good hot breakfast."

"Sounds like a plan to me. I think I’ll take a shower first and get dressed."

Garrett threw back the covers and let her long muscular legs gracefully drop over the side of the bed. She looked at her digital clock at the bedside. It was 0715. The surgeon sat on the edge of the bed trying to sort out her feelings or at least what day it was. Then she remembered. It was December 24, Christmas Eve. ‘I’d better get a move on, Danni will be headed out to her parents this afternoon.’ She thought about the large garment box that was so neatly wrapped in shiny gold paper and wondered about when to give it to her friend. "I bet she’ll never guess what it is."

***

Danni stood back and looked at the small flat box. It was the last of the presents to be wrapped but in her mind, the most important. Her fingers reached out and toyed with the lid as she made her mind up to look at it one last time. She quickly removed the lid and folded back the tissue paper that was obscuring her view. The antique brass corners set off the rich mahogany of the wood as her eyes focused on the frame. Slowly Danni allowed her finger to run over the row of carved scrolling pattern that interlocked running along the border of it. ‘I only hope that we get to be that close.’ Her eyes shifted to focus on the photograph that was the purpose of the gift. ‘She’ll never guess this.’

The nurse reluctantly put the box lid back in place. She felt good about this gift and the joy that she knew it would bring. Thinking for only a moment, she made her choice of wrapping paper and set off to finish her task.

***

With the Stollen cooling off on the counter, Danni gathered the needed ingredients for the batch of cut-out cookies that was a tradition for her nephew, as Garrett cleared off the table of their used breakfast plates, putting them into the dishwasher.

The morning hours were already slipping by faster than either woman cared to admit. Danni was trying to think of a way to get everything she needed to get done, and still have time to spend with her friend. Finally, she just broke down and asked for help, to which Garrett was eager to lend a hand. Soon the surgeon was pitching right in, her sleeves rolled up and in the middle of decorating the unbaked cookies with colored coarse sugar. The two of them were like little kids left alone for the first time to bake by themselves.

The joy of the moment was priceless to Danni. Here was the friend that she had always longed for growing up. ‘Well, better late then never.’ The nurse smiled as she watched the meticulous care that the surgeon gave to covering each cookie with the colored sugar. She couldn’t believe that they were actually enjoying this time together, she’d never have imagined that at their first meeting. ‘By the gods, what six months can do.’

Then she thought about the time that Garrett had left to her Fellowship. It was only six months more that the tall surgeon would be here for sure. Danni closed her eyes and took a deep breath at that thought. It was too much to think about, at least right now. She only wanted to enjoy the time that she had left with Garrett, not pine it away in a melancholy mood. Danni opened her eyes to see the surgeon watching her carefully.

The dark-haired woman sensed her friend’s reserved attitude. "Something wrong, Danni?"

The blonde shook her head. "Nothing…nothing’s wrong." She shrugged her shoulders. "It’s Christmas Eve, what could be wrong?"

***

It was nearly noon when Garrett was banished from the kitchen for pilfering cookies. The surgeon rubbed the back of her left hand as she walked out into the Dinning Room. ‘Damn, that woman has eyes in the back of her head.’ Then she smirked as she thought of the petite nurse standing her ground when she had figured out where all the cookies were disappearing. ‘Yep, she’ll make one darn good mother someday.’

"Do you think that I could trust you with some popcorn and cranberries to string for the tree?" Danni yelled out to the surgeon. "I figure it will be easy for you. It’s just needle and thread and you could probably use the practice for later tonight." The nurse was making reference to Garrett’s forced absence from hands-on medicine.

Garrett looked through the doorway into the Living Room. There, in front of the window was the Norfolk Pine that they had purchased last evening on their way home from the hospital. If ever there was an official Charlie Brown Christmas Tree, this was it. The scantily branched tree stood with its roots planted firmly in the soil-filled pot, looking like something out of a low budget movie. The surgeon thought that Danni was joking when she picked out the little tree, declaring that this was just what she was looking for. Only her friend could see the beauty in the wanton tree. There were a hundred trees to pick from ranging in height and price, all different in shape and color, not to mention needle length and degree of softness. It surely wasn’t what Garrett had remembered as the perfect tree from her childhood, but it made the nurse happy and that was all that mattered.

"Yeah, I think that the popcorn and cranberries will be safe. I’m full now anyway." The surgeon teased her as she stuck her head back into the kitchen. "So where’s the stuff?" Garrett wiggled her eyebrows and licked at her lips.

Danni had grown to love this playfulness that the surgeon was exhibiting. It was something that she knew only her eyes were privy to, making her feel especially close to the once aloof woman. "I’ll pop the corn for you in a minute, just let me finish this last pan of cookies so that I have some to take with me tonight."

"Gotcha!" The surgeon retreated back into the Dinning room.

"Hey, Gar! Out on the hall stand, you’ll find the decorations for the tree. Maybe you could put the lights on, while I make the popcorn."

"Sure, okay." Garrett’s mind conjured up images of her family’s Christmas decorating rituals. They had always spent the better part of the afternoon unearthing the hordes of boxes from deep within the recesses of the attic and carrying them down to the area next to the tree. A tree, that took up every inch of space from floor to ceiling.

The surgeon walked out in the hallway and looked at the lone box resting on the hall stand. It couldn’t have been much bigger than a box used for a pair of the petite woman’s boots. Opening the lid, she marveled at the treasures that were held within. ‘I bet she picks out the same kind of tree every year.’ The large hands picked up one of the fragile looking tiny balls. Cautiously Garrett held it between her fingertips. Putting the ball down, her eyes were drawn to the tiniest of lights that she had ever seen. Nothing at all like the large ones that had so boldly and brightly graced her childhood trees.

The corners of her mouth edged higher into a smile as she thought about the habits of this wonderfully compassionate person that she had allowed into her life. Garrett shook her head in amazement. She was beginning to understand the true nature of the woman a little more each day that they were together.

The surgeon carefully carried the opened box into the living room and placed it on the end table next to the tree. Her agile fingers took special care as she unpacked the bound string of lights, checking to see that none of the bulbs had become loose in storage. Once plugged into the nearby electrical outlet, the multicolored flashes of light soon mesmerized her. She was lost in thoughts of enchanting moments where the glittering of lights had played a part of the mystic. Garrett quickly cleared her thoughts then set about to the task of illuminating the barren looking tree.

***

Danni stood there, turning her head from side to side as she thought about where to place the last of the ornamental balls that she held in her hand. It had been so easy to place the other balls, but this one was special. Her gaze settled back onto the crystal blue ball and she thought how much it was like the eyes of her new friend. The nurse hesitantly looked over at Garrett who was storing the last of the packing cushions back into the small box. ‘It’s her! No one else has ever come to my mind when I’ve looked at this ball before.’ She nodded to herself and moved closer to the tree with her eyes searching for the right spot to hang the ball that would forever remind her of the tall surgeon.

Garrett watched as the delicate hands of the nurse tenderly placed that last remaining ball before she whispered. "Is there a reason why you placed that one there? I mean…I noticed that the others went up fairly fast, as if they had a designated place from year to year."

The petite woman could still feel the warm sensation still coursing through her body when she heard the question. ‘Do I tell her that each ball is someone that I hold dear? Better yet, do I tell her that was her ball that I’ve just given the spot next to my heart?’

Danni had always thought of herself as the tree extending her branches in friendship and love to the people that she invited into her menagerie. Each ball on the tree was a representation of some member of her collection, no two balls ever being the same in color, shape, or size. Each year, she had tried to use the ball but somehow it just never fit the person that she had added to her group. It had always made her a little disheartened to know that the beautiful ball would again stay locked away out of sight. Now, the ball that had always intrigued her with its unique hue had finally found its way onto her tree and there it would stay for the rest of her life.

Standing back to eyeball the tree, the young woman took a few strands of silver colored tinsel and carefully placed them on the branches. "Each one is someone that I think of as a friend." Danni smiled and looked up at the tall woman next to her. "I remember them as I place their ball on the tree, that way each year I think about them and how I helped along their way."

"But I don’t see any names on them."

"There here," she pointed to her chest. "Written in my heart for the rest of my life." Her speech was barely a whisper.

Somehow, Garrett knew that a ball had been added to the tree this year with her name etched into Danni’s heart. The surgeon couldn’t help but feel honored that she would be a part of this woman’s Christmas ritual for a long, long time.

The blonde turned to face her friend. "You think I’m silly, don’t you?" Her eyes were sincere and searched for an answer.

"No, not silly at all." Garrett offered her more tinsel. "Just very caring and filled with more love than you know what to do with, that’s all."

Their gazes lingered, neither wanting to be the first to look away. The moment seemed almost magical in nature, with the twinkling lights giving the periphery of their vision an illusion of the season that they were in, while their full focus was on each other.

Garrett could feel a wave of embarrassment coming over her, not understanding at all why she was so mesmerized by this moment. She let her gaze drift off to the colored lights, trying to reason what had just taken place. There was no reason why this woman held her attention, she just did.

"So…ah…what time are you going to leave for your parents’ house?" It was a weak attempt to cover her feelings and the surgeon cursed herself for her feeling of inadequacy. It had been years since she allowed anyone close to her and now, here with Danni, things were just coming about all too fast.

Looking over to the small clock that rested on the mantel, Danni sighed. "I guess I’ll have to be leaving in about an hour or so." The nurse put the last of the tinsel on the tree and stood back to admire the symbol of her life. "I’m pretty sure that will do it for this year. What do you think?"

They both looked at the tree, which had started out barren, to see it filled with decorations and the popcorn/cranberry garland. The twinkling lights seemed to multiply as their shimmering reflections were mirrored off the metallic tinsel. To look at it, one would have never known that it was an ugly tree. It had come to new life, just like all the members of Danni’s menagerie did when placed in her loving care.

"Yeah, I guess that does it." The surgeon’s voice reflected her growing sadness of their lessening time together. She turned to speak to Danni, but she was gone. Garrett looked puzzled at the spot where the young woman had been. ‘She was just here a minute ago. Where’d she…’ The tall woman searched the room with her eyes. Then her gaze stopped and fixed on the young blonde coming down the stairway from the second floor.

Danni looked somewhat pensive as she made her way over to Garrett. She was carrying a bright red foil wrapped box with complimentary green ribbons edging the corners. "Gar, Merry Christmas!" Danni held out the box for her friend to take. "I know that you like to travel light so…I…well, just open and see." She waited patiently for the surgeon to respond.

The long sinewy fingers of the surgeon drew across Danni’s hand as she accepted the present. Garrett let her eyes meet the shimmering pools of green that looked back at her. The word was spoken out of courtesy but with more meaning than the simple syllable indicated, "Thanks."

Danni nodded. "Go on now, open it up. I want to see if you like it."

Garrett set to work undoing the ribbons and stripping the foil from around the box. Her fingers trembled in anticipation as they lifted the lid. ‘I wonder what it is that she could have found to give me?’ The surgeon stared down into the thin veil of tissue paper that separated her from Danni’s gift. Her eyes flicked to the petite woman and then back down to the box. ‘I don’t understand. What would I need a picture frame for? The only picture that I…’ Her fingers pulled back the tissue paper to reveal the gift.

The furrows grew a little more pronounced in Danni’s forehead as she waited to see how her gift was going to be received. It wasn’t normal for her to worry, but this gift was different and she hoped that it was not misconstrued. The nurse let out the breath she hadn’t realized that she was holding, when she heard the gasp from the tall woman.

"I hope that you like it. I got the idea the other week when that man went down on us in the E.R."

The surgeon searched her face, puzzled by the comment. "But how…"

"When you tossed your wallet at Karen, things sort of…fell out."

"But Danni, you gave me everything back intact an hour later. I don’t know how you got this." Garrett’s eyes were glued to the image of her brother, her fingers moving slowly over the scrolling pattern that ran along the wood of the frame. ‘If ever there was a gift that could touch my heart, this has to be it.’ "This is way to clear to be a Xerox of that wallet size photograph."

"Believe it or not, John actually helped me out on this."

"John? How?"

"He had his new digital camera and I kind of borrowed it for a minute or two. I hope you don’t mind." Danni’s eyes searched for any glimmer of approval from her friend.

"Thanks, Danni. Only you would realize what this means to me."

"I thought that perhaps with you having an office you might like to be able to look at it a little more often than you do now. I mean…with it in your wallet and all." The nurse wrinkled her nose. "Besides, I saw how you always look around McMurray’s office when we have to meet with him. I figured that it would be your first photograph for your desk when you’re a Chief of a Department somewhere."

"Danni, I’m only a Fellow now. What’s this talk of being a Chief?" Garrett eyed the blonde wondering if she had some hidden talent for predicting the future.

"Don’t worry, I know that it will happen. It’s you destiny."

The surgeon looked down at her friend. "If you say so." Their eyes met conveying the faith and goodwill that each one wanted for the other. Clearing her throat, Garrett suddenly became somewhat shy as she stammered her way through the next sentence. "Hey…I…uhm…I got you something, too. Why don’t you sit down on the couch and I’ll run up and get it?"

"Okay!" Danni’s voice was soft and reassuring. She could tell that Garrett was not in the habit of giving or receiving gifts.

Placing her gift on the table, Garrett strode over to the stairs where her pent up excitement could hold back no longer. Like a child, the long legs of the surgeon carried her up the steps at breakneck speed. Danni watched her friend disappear from sight, as a smile overtook the nurse’s face. ‘I would have loved knowing her growing up.’ She shook her head at the surgeon’s antics and made herself comfortable on the couch.

Within seconds, the sound of someone bounding down the stairs was evident. Garrett finally reigned in her excitement. Now, she walked from the bottom of the stairs into the living room at a somewhat reluctant pace. In her hands was a large box shining brightly of gold, the wide ribbon of silver contrasting nicely against it. She sat it down on the coffee table in front of the nurse and stood back.

"This is for you. Merry Christmas, Danni." Her eyes twinkled with excitement, anticipating the look on her friend’s face once she opened it.

Danni looked up at the towering figure in front of her. "You know that I’m not going to be able to open that without trying to guess what it is first, don’t you?"

"Guess away, you’ll never get it." The surgeon sounded very confident and once again she compared the gold coloring of the gift-wrap to the heart and hair of the woman. ‘Yep, that was a perfect match. I’m glad that I chose it.’ She watched as the petite hands lifted the box as if trying to judge the weight of it. Garrett had never seen the likes of concentration she was witnessing now. "I can tell you…" The surgeon’s speech was met with quickly upturned eyes of green that cast a silencing effect on her. "Sorry," she whispered.

Lifting the box higher, the nurse bent over and turned an ear toward it, listening for any sounds being emitted freely from inside. Having heard none, she gently shook the package, eliciting any information on size and distribution of material that she could. She could only feel the slight movement of the article hidden from her view. "Hmmm…." Danni looked over to her friend and then sniffed at the box. ‘Damn! This is going to be a tough one.’ "A robe!"

Garrett shook her head in response, too amused to speak.

The nurse was now more daring with her investigation. She flipped it upside down, watching Garrett’s face for any clues. ‘Must not matter whether it is inverted or not.’ Now she shook it again, this time more vigorously. "Hip boots for fishing up at the cabin," she declared triumphantly.

"Nope!" The surgeon chuckled at the thought. ‘I’ll have to remember that one for next year.’ "Good thing it isn’t something that’s still alive. You’d have traumatized it by now."

"Ah ha! So it’s something that’s dead." She reached for the bow and started to undo it. "Hmmm…let me think." The wrapping paper was next as she slid her hand along it to find the tape holding it in place.

"You’re not going to give up are you?"

"Not until it’s totally uncovered." She smiled rakishly and went right back to her slow and deliberate torture of guessing. She pulled off the wrappings and looked at the box. ‘No writing or name of a store.’ Danni lifted the lid slightly being careful not to expose the gift too soon. A familiar aroma was filtering from the box. She closed her eyes to sniff, then sniffed once more before bringing her head up in a satisfied way. "A leather knapsack." Her eyes opened to look at the surgeon.

"Nope!" Garrett laughed as she watched the green eyes shift back and forth trying to re-evaluate the clues. ‘I think that I could enjoy trying to stump her every year.’

"A purse. That’s it, a big ol’ purse." She was so sure of herself now that she opened the box without waiting to hear Garrett’s reply. She ripped back the tissue paper and stopped short when she viewed the article underneath.

The surgeon was pleased. She had surprised the young woman beyond belief. In fact, it had rendered her speechless and that was something to behold in itself.

Finally after a few moments of shock, the petite blonde spoke as her fingers ran over the collar of the jacket. "Gar, I never expected this." She looked up just as a tear slid over her eyelashes and trickled down her check. "I…I don’t know what to say."

"Nothing elaborate, a simple thanks will do." Garrett smiled and felt her heart warm with love for the woman in front of her. ‘I can’t believe I went this long without having a real friend.’

Danni sprang up and stepped around the coffee table until they came face to face. She reached out, allowing her hands to grab onto the broad shoulders and pull her in for a hug. The nurse just couldn’t find the words to convey the feeling that she needed to show. It only took a second or two for the nurse to realize that she had made the tall woman feel awkward.

Garrett stood there hunched over, not knowing what to do. Her arms felt like they should be doing something, not just hanging there. For the first time, she realized just how lacking she was when it came to people skills. It scared her a little to actually make physical contact that she had not initiated.

For the first time in a long while, the surgeon realized she wanted to let someone in this close to her.

Releasing her grip, Danni eased out of the close range of the surgeon. "Sorry, I tend to get a little emotional at Christmas." She looked up to see stunned blue eyes looking back at her.

"That’s okay…" was Garrett’s weak response. "I just wasn’t ready for it."

The nurse nodded and looked back to the present as she tried to put a little distance between them. She lifted it out of the box and held it in front of her to view the entire jacket. "I don’t deserve this, Gar. I almost cost you that project."

"But you didn’t. You came through when the chips were down and I appreciate that." The surgeon pointed to the embroidery on the front of the leather jacket that looked very similar to her own, only much smaller in size.

"That’s what I consider us…a team."

Their eyes both gazed down at the decorative writing on the jacket as Danni read it out loud. "Flight Surgeon Team, D. Bossard R.N."

"I figured we’d need something to help us tell them apart in a hurry." Her tone was light as she joked about the difference in size.

Before she knew what had hit her, the surgeon was wrapped in nurse from head to toe. The young woman clinging desperately with her arms around the tall woman’s waist and resting her check on the taller woman’s chest. It was only minutes after the first hug from her friend but this time Garrett knew what to do and let her body respond as her heart told her to. She slowly wrapped her strong arms around the petite woman, enveloping her like a shield from the world around them. Bending her head down, the surgeon rested her check into the golden tousles of Danni’s hair and gently kissed it without making a sound. Closing their eyes tightly, they both wished for this moment to never end.

Somewhere up in the heavens, in that late afternoon sky, a small star twinkled in delight just like the lights that twinkled brightly on that tree of love known as Danni’s life.

***

The house seemed quiet now without the small blonde. Danni had left for her parent’s house over an hour ago, but all that Garrett had done since was sit on the couch and watch the lights on the tree. ‘Danni’s tree, it’s so much like her, reaching out and touching the lives of everyone.’

The surgeon looked down on the framed photo that she held in her hands, her eyes sweeping over the images of her and her brother at a memorable time in their lives. ‘We were so close then, almost inseparable, Luc. You were in my every thought of the future. We were going to rule the world, you and I.’

The random patterns of the twinkling lights caused her eyes to drift from the photograph, her gaze now held by the warming glow of the tree and its lights. ‘Now it seems that my thoughts are filled with someone else.’ The surgeon’s lips grew into the lop-sided grin as the image of Danni strolled lazily through her mind. ‘But you already knew that, didn’t you, Luc?’

It was so nice to have a tree at Christmas time, and the surgeon considered how long it had been since she could call one hers. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t seen decorated trees or even hung an ornament on one every year she had, usually as part of the program that she was in or in the Navy when each sailor had to place their own symbol on the ship’s tree. She thought about that and how she had always used some piece of medical bric-a-brac to represent herself. Now that just didn’t seem like her at all. She was finding out that there was so much more to life than just medicine.

The gentle ding of her wristwatch alarm pulled her out of her daydreams. It was 1720. Time for her to get her duffel bag and head on out to the Blazer. She got up from the couch and placed the gift that the nurse had given her into the top of the duffel. It was meant for her desk and there is where she was taking it.

Pulling on her own leather flight jacket, she looked around the house that had come to mean so much to her. It was feeling more like home than any place she had ever been before. Sighing, she grabbed her bag and went out the door. At the bottom of the steps, she turned slightly to look over her shoulder to see the twinkling lights of the tree that now acted like a beacon in the window waiting for their return.

***

It had taken her less time to arrive at her parents’ house than she had thought. The roads had been kept fairly clear, even after she had gotten out of the city limits. The slowly falling flakes of snow gave the scenery an almost magical appearance as Danni drove the last two miles of the county road. Her mother had always liked the stately driveway leading up to the house but her father simply thought of it as getting closer to the country that he loved while keeping the city folks at bay.

The nurse thought about how different as night and day her parents were. Sometimes she even wondered what it was that had brought them together in the first place. ‘I guess that it had to be love.’ Her mind brought forth images of stolen moments that she had seen between the two. Ones that they thought would not be seen by their children, like the tender embrace of two hearts that were devoted one unto the other.

Danni’s mind drifted to the country with its fresh air and open spaces. Her father always seemed bigger than life when he was at the cabin, but that could have been merely due to the fact that her mother was never around to cast a shadow over his spirit. She loved the memories that she had of the times spent with her father up there. The only thing that was better was the addition of her grandpa to the mix. I guess that was why she and her mother never seemed to agree on summer activities. Her mother wanted Danni to cultivate her social standing, while all that Danni wanted to cultivate was a good day of fishing and the warm laughter that she and her grandpa would share.

The glowing orange of the dashboard readouts made the young woman think of the bobber that she always used when fishing, just so that she could daydream. She hadn’t used that the last time she was at the cabin fishing. She didn’t have to. Her mind had been totally engrossed in the activity, not to mention the friend who was with her. Thoughts of the tall, dark-haired surgeon casting out into the creek that fed into the lake now took over her mind’s eye. The graceful movements had captivated her, holding her attention on the fishing as she tried to impress the woman with her. The bond that they had built from that weekend was now stronger than any she had ever had before. Giving her friendship to this woman was something that she found to be as natural as breathing itself.

Closing her eyes, she concentrated on the smell of the leather from the jacket she wore. It was funny how some smells just triggered your senses to conjure up the image of someone. This smell was definitely Garrett to her. Danni brushed her cheek against the soft leather of the collar and instantaneously could picture herself earlier today in the surgeon’s powerful arms. Her mind focused momentarily on that image until it started to fade from her sight, the last wavering glimpses fleeting like a mirage with her sigh.

It was at that moment that the seasonal music on the car radio was interrupted by the mellow voice of the announcer. "For all of you holiday travelers and last minute shoppers, let me just remind you that it is now five twenty and time to be making your way home."

The rest of the message was lost from that point on. All that the blonde could think about was the home that she left with its twinkling tree in the window and the tall figure that had waved to her from the door. Danni looked up over the steering wheel at the large house with the huge wreath hung on the door. It’s bright red ribbon proclaiming the excitement of the season. ‘This used to be home to me, but not any more.’

She turned off the engine and removed the key. ‘Okay, Danni, you can do this. You’re here to see everyone else, not just her.’ Taking a deep breath, the nurse opened the car door and started gathering the brightly colored packages into her arms. ‘It’s only sixteen hours, not sixteen years,’ she chastised herself as she walked to the door. ‘Just keep thinking of what’s waiting for you when you get back home.’

As she stepped onto the landing, the door opened and there, waiting to greet her, was the warm smile of her father with his arms out stretched to welcome her.

"Merry Christmas, Danni!" His arms wrapped around her as his cheek brushed pasted hers, planting a kiss as he hugged her tightly. "I’ve missed you lil’one," he whispered in her ear. He gently rocked her as he savored the moment with his daughter in his arms.

"Dad, I’m the oldest of your children. You can’t keep calling me lil’one." The nurse looked up with big green eyes to her father.

The man’s face, etched with years of worry about his children, became drawn and serious. "You’ll always be my lil’one, Danni. Brie is still two inches taller than you and Matt. Well, he was taller than a wild weed when he was born. Face it daughter, the title is all yours." He winked and kissed her again, this time on her forehead.

The embrace faded as he started to take some of the packages out of her arms. "Here, let me help with those." He looked over her shoulder, half expecting someone else to be behind her.

Danni noticed that her father was searching for something and turned to look, thinking that one of her siblings had also just arrived. Seeing no one, she turned back to her father with a puzzled look on her face. "Who are you looking for, Dad?"

"Your mother seemed to think that you might have someone with you this year." His eyes were hopeful. Sensing his mistake, he quickly countered his thought. "Hey, I see you got a new car. Malibu, is it?"

His daughter nodded. "Yeah, I got a good deal when Garrett needed to buy a car. I traded in mine and we each got what we wanted."

"So you finally got one big enough for more than just yourself, a sensible around town car."

"Yep, and Gar got the full-size Blazer, four wheel drive, of course." She laughed. "Now, we’re set for any style of transportation or road condition."

"Henry, what are you doing with the door wide open? You’re letting all of the…" the voice trailed off as Danni’s mother stepped into view. "Oh, Danni! I’m glad that you could make it home for this holiday."

Her mother’s words brought an end to her excitement of being home. Some things never changed as much as you wanted them too. "Hello, Mother. Merry Christmas to you and Daddy both." She hated the fake kiss that her mother was planting on her. "I guess I’m a little early." Danni had always dragged her feet when coming to the family functions. She didn’t hate everyone. It was just that she had never really felt all that much a part of their world.

"Nonsense! It will help make up for the time you missed with us at Thanksgiving." Her mother looked out to the driveway.

"If you’re looking for Garrett, Mother, I told you surgeons have responsibilities to the hospital. Besides, with all the coverage that Nathan and Rene have done for us. They deserved some time off with their families." She watched as the woman, whose looks she remotely mirrored, turned a sour face.

"I thought that perhaps being such a great surgeon that the hospital could pull some strings…"

"Mother, the only strings that Gar will be pulling are the tails on the suturing material after a round of stitching up a patient tonight."

"Well, let’s go in and wait for the rest of the family to come by." She turned and walked away leaving Danni and her father to follow.

The young nurse rolled her eyes and looked to her father.

"You know your mother. She thinks that the world should move for her wishes." He shrugged his shoulders as he shook his head. "Come on, let’s get these under the tree before your brother and sister get here."

With her father in the lead, Danni followed into the Great Room of the house, its cathedral ceiling made it feel open and airy. As usual, the towering Douglas Fir was situated in the corner. The petite nurse stood at the base of it deciding that it was at least three times her height if not more to the large gold star that adorned its upper most branch. She let her eyes follow lazily down the tree looping right along with the intricately ornate metallic garland that made its way around the branches. There didn’t seem to be an empty spot for a single ornament to be hung if indeed one was needed. In fact, she didn’t even remember really seeing any pine needles at all.

‘She’ll never learn to concentrate on the heart of Christmas, just its garish over-manipulative commercialism.’ Danni looked at the presents piled under the tree and tried gingerly to fit hers in where best she could. Taking the last one from her father, she turned to see the front door open and heard the pattering of small feet as they ran across the polished wooden flooring.

"Auntie Dan! Auntie Dan!" The small tyke of two and a half years screeched as he leaped up into her open arms.

"Hey," the nurse giggled. "Merry Christmas, my little dumpling."

"Berry Chrissmust to you, too." The boy held on as Danni danced him around. "Hi, Grampa!" He waved to her father as they danced by.

"Hello, Gunther." The smiling man waved and teased as he grabbed the young child’s hand. "You got a kiss for your Grampa?"

Danni held the wide-eyed little boy as he stretched to give her father a kiss on the cheek. "Wuv you." Then he put his head down onto his aunt’s shoulder and hid shyly.

The nurse rocked him in her arms and nuzzled her face in his hair. "You’re not afraid of Grampa, are you, Gunny?"

"Danni, I wish you would call him by his name and not that." Brie whisked into the room, her coat bulging as it showed her advancing stage of pregnancy. "Now tell Aunt Danni what your name is."

The little tyke pouted as he looked up into his aunt’s face. "Gunter, Auntie Dan. Mommy says my name Gunter."

"And a nice name at that." Danni could obviously see that the child didn’t like it. "You know that my name is really Danielle, but everybody calls me Danni. That’s why I’m always going to call you Gunny. Okay?"

The little boy eagerly nodded his head and began giggling. "I wuv you." He leaned into her and kissed her cheek.

Danni smiled as she touched her forehead to his. "Merry Christmas, Brie…Mark." She looked out of the corner of her eye to see the couple standing together.

"Auntie Dan, how’s come you smell?"

"Gunther! You know better than that." Brie’s voice was sharp.

Danni laughed at her nephew’s directness. "It’s okay, Sis. I think what he is referring to is my present from Garrett." She tugged at her leather collar. "Is this what you smell?"

The child took a whiff and wrinkled up his nose. "Yeah!"

"So Garrett got you a leather jacket for Christmas." Brie moved closer to see it. "What’s that writing on it?"

Danni looked down at it, her smile stretching from ear to ear. She looked up with all the pride that she could muster. "It’s embroidered: ‘Flight Surgeon Team, D. Bossard R.N.’ Garrett and I are a team."

Brie looked strangely at her sister. "Danni, you don’t fly. You never could." She looked over to her dad. "You remember don’t you? That time you tried to fly us all down to Disney World and we ended up having to drive down instead."

Mrs. Bossard had entered the room as her younger daughter was speaking. Without any hesitation she joined in the conversation. "I was never so embarrassed in my life. As soon as we started to taxi away from the loading ramp she went into a trance. The stewardess stopped the pilot from going any further and made the whole family get off the plane. She said that it wasn’t safe for her to go up in the air."

"Well, I did perfectly fine after Garrett helped me through my first time."

"I bet!" Brie rolled her eyes and muttered under her breath, thinking that Danni was naïve.

"Nobody else would have been so loving and kind when I kind of zoned out on the test flight. They would have all walked away from me but not Gar." Danni shook her head. "Not even when I got grounded. Garrett just told Dr. McCormick that we were a team and if they grounded one of us, they grounded both of us."

"So he lifted your ground restriction?" Mark was showing an interest in the story. "I mean, you fly now, don’t you?"

The blonde wrinkled her nose and kind of squinted at her brother-in-law. "Well…not really. I kind of ungrounded us."

"Danni!" Her mother was appalled. "You disobeyed your superior?"

"Actually, Mother, I disobeyed our superior and Gar both. You have to understand the circumstances though. They needed our helicopter and a surgeon for a rescue but Garrett didn’t want to make me get back on the helicopter again. I…I kind of jumped right in and told that surgeon that I wasn’t going to be the excuse for us not to help that patient. Well, the only thing that I can say is that when a patient’s involved, I have no problem flying." She thought about her last statement. "As a matter of fact, I can say that I have no problem doing anything when someone is in need."

Gunny tugged at the blonde’s hair then leaned in to whisper in her ear. "I need a cookie, Auntie Dan." He leaned back and let those huge brown eyes of his look into hers as his lips rolled into a pout.

"Okay, Gunny. Enough talk of flying now. I’ve got to get something out of my car along with my overnight bag." She began to walk out towards the front door, the child still in her arms. "I made some special cut-out cookies just for you."

"You’re going to spoil his dinner Danni." Brie nudged her husband. "Mark, take Gunther from her. He weighs a ton."

The petite blonde shifted her precious cargo to the other arm opposite Brie and Mark. "He’s not heavy. Don’t even think I’m giving him up while I’m home. Right, Dumpling?" Danni kissed his cheek. "Now, let’s go get those cookies." Her face was full of joy and laughter as she went out the door, her nephew held tightly in her arms.

***

The ruckus of all the arrivals had finally died down when Mrs. Bossard quietly announced that the holiday meal was ready, requesting everyone to take their seats. As everyone assembled at the table, Brie went from person to person filling the wineglass in front of them with their choice of the local favorites. With the many wineries to the north of them along the shore of Lake Erie, they did not have to go far to find excellent wine. Danni had always, without fail, chosen the special holiday wine known as Kir from the Penn Shore Winery. As Brie readied to pour from the bottle into her sister’s glass, a hand was quickly placed over top of it.

"It’s Kir, Danni, your favorite."

"I think I’d better join you and Gunny this year by having some juice instead. I’m not sure that wine would be a good thing for me right now." ‘With the little bit of sleep that I had after yesterday, I’m going to be lucky to make it to the candlelight service tonight,’ she thought.

Brie looked at her sister for a moment then shrugged her shoulders. "Okay. Mark can you give Danni some of the juice that we poured for Gunther and me?"

"Sure, no problem, hon." Mark was quick to make his way over to Danni’s empty glass, making hers the last one to be filled.

With the bottles resting back in their coolers and everyone seated at their place, Mrs. Bossard began her orchestration ritual of the holiday dinner. Her stately mannerism of nodding politely at the appointed person came from being diligent of the duty that never changed over the years. The first official nod went as always to Danni for the prayer.

Danni smiled in acceptance of the duty and looked to her nephew next to her as she whispered, "Are you ready?"

His little head was eagerly nodding in agreement.

Danni cleared her throat and then looked around the table at the gathered family that was present. "I’m going to break with tradition a little bit this year," she explained. "I’ve asked the oldest grandchild to join me, the oldest child, to give thanks." Her eyes roamed the table looking for any sign of disapproval. Seeing none, she looked over to her nephew. "Gunny, would you please start for us?"

With all of the seriousness that a two and a half year old can have, the boy debated which hand to use, then finally deciding on his right, making the sign of the cross on his body as he spoke. "In the name of the Father," he touched his head, "The Son," his hand moved to his belly, "And the Holy Spirit," he hesitated then touched his left shoulder and moved his hand to the right shoulder. His head turned to look at his Aunt who would fill in the middle part.

"Father in heaven, look down on us gathered here in the name of your Son, whose coming birth we are celebrating tonight. May the goodness of your love and mercy live on in us now, and throughout the year to come with the new life that you have graced our family with. Thank you for the good times that we have shared with family and friends during the past year and we ask that you look down with kindness on those that could not be present with us here tonight. Let them feel the love that is held within our hearts wherever they may be." Danni tapped her nephew on his leg and nodded slightly to cue him for his next part.

Sitting up as straight as he could, the tyke began the sign of the cross again as he repeated his words once more. The immediate response for those gathered around the table was a very content "Amen."

Danni smiled down at her nephew with pride at his performance. It was something that she had practiced with him while they had waited for her brother Matt to arrive.

"You have a way with children, Sis. I’ve tried teaching him that and he couldn’t seem to get it right without confusing the order." Brie looked at her sister, amazed at what she had done in such a small amount of time. "I can just see what your kids are going to be like when you start having them."

The blonde woman cast her eyes to the table as she felt the blush starting up her neck and fought to keep it at bay. "I guess we’ll just have to wait and see, Brie."

The congratulations came to a halt as the sound of someone clearing their throat was heard, bringing everyone back to the ritual of the holiday.

"Now, if we can continue, please." Mrs. Bossard closed her eyes trying to regain her air of dignity. She opened them when the room was once again quiet, letting them meet her son’s. "Matthew, a toast please."

Danni’s brother rose, holding a wineglass in his hand. Nodding in acceptance to his mother, he then turned slightly to offer the same courtesy to his father at the opposite end of the table. He brought the glass up in toast fashion and slowly began. "Well, since my nephew is too young to imbibe, I guess I’ll have to wait for his help in this duty."

There was a chuckle that escaped from just about everyone at the table in response to the comment. The only one not to laugh being Mrs. Bossard.

"Okay, here goes." Matthew announced causing the family to listen. "May the season of Christmas, with all of its love stay with us always." He thrust his glass into the air. "Merry Christmas, everyone."

The rest of the table followed suit, each turning to the people beside them and wishing the greetings of the season. The clinking of the glasses in toast rang merrily in their ears as they sipped from the swirling liquid in their glasses.

***

With dinner over and the table cleared, everyone sat around the living room content from the huge meal. The only persons missing were the wives of the clan, who were busy in the kitchen with the leftover food.

Danni found herself sitting by her brother and soon became engrossed in small talk with him. Their conversation coursed through the many years that they had grown up together. Each one remembering just a little different than the other the events that had taken place each Christmas morning. They each laughed as they thought about the past and how they had planned their life for the future so many years ago. Danni noticed that her brother was growing silent in thought after she had teased him about his wish to be married and have ten kids by the time he was thirty.

"What’s the matter, Matt?" Danni had stopped laughing. "You didn’t really believe that, did you?"

Her brother became somber. "At one time I did. I guess we never really know what the future will hold for us, do we?" He shrugged. "I’ve spent so much of my time becoming a lawyer that I’ve forgotten about that dream until now."

"It can still happen. I mean not by the time that you’re thirty, but you can still find someone and settle down. Heck, I expected you to come waltzing in today with a girl on your arm, ready to show her off to the family." Danni watched as her brother bit at his lip.

"I’ve been seeing someone that I think I’d like to really get to know." Matt looked to his sister. "But I’m not sure that Mother would approve of her. She’s not exactly what Mother thinks of as wife material."

Danni leaned back to get a better look at her brother. The astute lawyer now reminded her more of the clumsy, young boy she had cared for every summer at the cabin. "What gives? Is she some alien or does she just have seventeen kids?" The blonde teased him.

"No, nothing like that. It’s just that…she…well…she wants to make her own way in the world and not rely on anyone else for support."

The petite woman looked out to the kitchen as she thought about how her mother would handle such a prospect for her son. "Matt, you can’t let Mother rule you heart. You know what it is that makes you happy and if there is even the remote chance that she is the one, you have to go for it."

The siblings’ eyes met and the unspoken words told each one how the other felt. The closeness of their relationship had held strong over the years even with the distance that their careers had placed between them. The silence was broken as Danni took the lead. "Let’s make a promise to each other right here. Next year we each bring the one person in our lives that makes us happiest, whether we think Mother will like them or not."

"I guess that it couldn’t hurt if we both did it. You got a deal, Danni." He reached over and circled his smaller sister in his arms. Suddenly this Christmas was looking up on his part and all because of her. "I love you, Sis. I’m sure you know that Garrett does, too."

The sound of the soft whisper made Danni’s heart beat faster with the thoughts that they provoked. As they released the embrace the insistent tugging on her sleeve captured her mind and she looked to her side to see her nephew.

"Auntie Dan, I think that its time for my belly to sleep."

Brother and sister both giggled at the comment as Danni turned her attention to Gunny. "You want me to take you upstairs for a nap?" She held her arms out to the tyke, who nodded dutifully and climbed into them. "Matt, let Brie know that I put him down for his nap."

She rose from the couch with him in her arms. "I’d tell Mark, but he and dad look like they’re in a good discussion."

"I’ll let them know, Danni."

"Okay, Dumpling, it’s off to nap time for you. I might even be tempted to join you if you ask me nicely." ‘That might not be a bad idea with how tired I’m starting to feel. I’ll never understand how Gar can be up over twenty-four hours and still function as a surgeon.’

"Please, Auntie Dan, please."

"All right, but only for a little while." The nurse carried her nephew up the stairs, her soft voice lulling him into his dreams by the time they reached the top.

***

The family had returned from the candlelight services to the warmth of the roaring fireplace. The rest of the evening was a continuation of storytelling and the singing of seasonal carols. Their parched throats were easily taken care of with glasses of eggnog that had been passed around. One by one, the family members excused themselves and retired to bed.

Soon the only ones left were Danni and her father. They sat silently watching the embers of the fire slowly die out, each one deep within their own thoughts. Danni looked down at her watch. It was nearly midnight and soon, she too would retire to her old room upstairs. ‘Only twelve more hours and I’ll be back home.’ The woman noticed that her father was now studying her. He had been for some time, she just hadn’t noticed it.

Danni sighed, then spoke softly. "Dad, how did you know that Mother was the one for you?"

Her father smiled. "I was wondering how long we were going to sit here before you finally got around to talking about what was on your mind."

The blonde nodded her head and smiled. "You were always the one that could read my moods. So tell me, how did you know?"

"There’s no real explanation for it. Love just happens, lil’one. One day someone walks into your life and your world just changes. Things that were important no longer matter and all that you can think about is that one person out of all the ones that you know."

"But what if it’s someone that you never expected to love. Someone that you don’t even really know everything about."

"Danni, you never know everything about a person. Why, everyday I find something new out about your mother. That’s what makes it last. There is always another facet to look at and learn."

"Will I know enough to be sure when it happens?"

"That’s assuming that your heart doesn’t already know. Love is a funny thing. It doesn’t always come knocking at our door and announcing itself. Sometimes it comes from places that we least expect it to." He looked his daughter squarely in the eye. "Listen to your heart. That’s how you’ll know."

Danni thought about that for a moment. ‘I can’t believe that my father is such a romantic. I would have never guessed it when I was growing up. I guess we see them in a different light the older we get.’ The young woman opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by the ringing of the telephone.

"I think that you should get that, Danni. I’m afraid that anyone who would be calling me this late at night, is already here." He motioned to the phone in the hallway. "I’m betting that it’s for you. I’m going to head up to bed now, anyway."

The nurse walked briskly to the phone as it rang the fourth time. "Hello, Bossard Residence."

Mr. Bossard passed by his daughter as she greeted the incoming phone call. "Night, lil’ one. Tell Garrett that I said, ‘Merry Christmas,’ too."

"Danni, is that you?" The voice on the other end had a familiar sound to it.

The blonde nodded to her father and answered. "Yeah, Gar, its me." Her voice turned soft. "Night Daddy." Danni waved her hand to the man starting to ascend the stairs. "Hey, my Dad says, ‘Merry Christmas’."

"Wish him the same from me. Maybe one year I’ll get to do it myself."

Danni called to her father at the landing of the stairs in a hushed voice. "Gar, wishes you a ‘Merry Christmas’, too." She watched the man smile and nod his head approvingly. Then she turned her attention back to the phone. "So what’s your night been like so far? Did you get to the O.R. yet?

"Yeah, Nathan was kind enough to leave me with a hot appendix in a twenty year old. It felt good to be back in there. Other than that, it’s been pretty quiet. How was your drive today?"

"Nice! I actually got here earlier than I expected. Dad and I were just sitting and watching the fire die out from earlier tonight. It was nice being able to just sit and talk to him again."

"That’s good. Sounds like you are enjoying the visit then."

"Yeah, I guess I am. My nephew is a howl and he’s been keeping me pretty busy. Oh, Gar…he said to tell you ‘thanks’ for decorating his cookies."

"Why would he say that?"

"Well, I told him that you helped me. I guess he’s heard about your cooking ability already." She could hear the surgeon laughing on the other end. "Somehow, he just assumed that you did the sugar decorating." Danni chuckled. "He’s so cute. I wish you were here to see him."

"Me, too. He sounds like a lot of fun to be around."

"Gar, was there any reason in particular that you called me tonight?"

"I…I just wanted…I needed…." The conversation was now interrupted by the sound of the Trauma Pager beeping in the background. "I…I just called to say ‘Merry Christmas’, Danni, to you and your whole family. Well, I got to go. Trauma calls, you know."

"I wish I was there with you…for the trauma. I hope you have a Merry Christmas, Gar. I’ll see you at noon. Bye."

"I’ll be here, come find me when you get in. I’ve really got to go, Dan. We got a Santa coming in that fell off a roof. Bye."

The static on the phone become evident as the line went dead. Danni held the receiver in her hands, not wanting to set it back down on its cradle. In her mind, it was a connection to the tall surgeon, and she didn’t want to let it go. ‘I can’t believe she called me here, at my parents. How did she even get this number?’ A few minutes passed before Danni let the receiver down gently in the cradle.

She looked back over her shoulder to the fireplace to check on the embers. They were out and the living room was dark except for the small light that had always stayed on. The blonde started up the stairs to her room. Her mind mulled over the things that she and her father had talked about earlier. ‘I guess it’s true. The older you get, the wiser your parents become. Well, Dad did at least.’

Entering her old room at the top right of the staircase, she got ready for bed. Danni remembered how alone she had always felt growing up in her family’s home, especially late at night when she would lay in bed trying to go to sleep. That feeling was creeping up on her even now. Finally she got up from the bed, seeking solace. The nurse fingered her leather jacket. ‘If anybody sees me, they’ll think I’m crazy.’ She picked up the garment and put it on. ‘There, now maybe I’ll be able to sleep.’ Climbing back into bed, she nestled down and wrapped her arms around herself. The scent of the leather invaded her thoughts as her mind replayed the emotions and physical senses from earlier in the day when the strength of the surgeon had wrapped around her to protect her. Set adrift with the memory of blue eyes, she fell fast asleep.

***

Garrett stood waiting for the trauma patient to arrive. The adrenaline rush had started when she was on the phone with Danni. Now, for some odd reason, it was no longer there. The surgeon looked around at the gathered staff members who would be her assembled team for the night. They were all good people but something was missing. Something that she just could not put her finger on, at least not yet.

‘Danni!’ Crystal blue eyes flashed at the realization. Danni was the missing piece of the puzzle. It seemed odd not to have her in close proximity. They had become such a huge part of each other’s world over the last month that now the emptiness was quite evident. Garrett felt at a loss without her blonde-haired nurse at her side. She looked up at the large clock on the wall of Trauma Room One. It was 0020. ‘Only eleven more hours to go without her.’

The Trauma Fellow was caught off guard as the Paramedics wheeled in the man in the red suit and white beard. Rosie nudged the tall woman standing next to her, eyeing her through the clear plastic of the shielded mask that she was wearing. "Hey, Doc! You want to come back down to earth or are you still stuck up in the air?"

The teasing from Rosie broke the trance that the young blonde had held over the surgeon. Danni’s image faded as the professional in her once again took over. "Alright people, on my count." Garrett looked around to the faces of the group, letting her eyes stop at the Trauma Nurse One position. The blonde hair was there but attached to the likes of John. ‘What I wouldn’t give for that to be Danni.’ Sighing, she continued. "One, two, three."

The team transferred the patient and briskly set about their duties. When all of a sudden there rang such a clatter that everyone stopped to see what was the matter. There on the table the bearded man in the red suit waved his arms and one good leg that still had on his boot.

"Get away from me. Don’t cut the suit, it’s not mine. Hey, I’m gonna make you be the one to pay for it if anything happens to it." He pointed directly at the tall Trauma Fellow.

"Sir, have you been drinking tonight?" Garrett rested her hands on his shoulders as she kept him down on the table.

"Well, of course I have. How else do you think I’d get enough courage to get up on the damn roofs?" He sighed heavily and then let his body relax. "How was I supposed to know that they’d have ice up there." He looked directly at John. "Doesn’t heat rise? You’d think that roofs would be cleared of all that stuff with the heat and all."

The male nurse just shook his head. "Buddy, not everyone keeps it as hot and steamy in the bedroom as I do."

The surgeon just rolled her eyes with that comment. ‘Danni, where are you when I need you? Nothing like having a little compassion, John.’ "Okay, everybody just stop right where you are." She looked around the room. "Santa, do you hurt anywhere?"

"Just that darn ankle." He pointed to his bootless limb. "I think that I twisted it when I came down on the garbage can."

"All right, let me give you a quick exam here and some X-rays to make sure that you’re not hurt. I promise that I won’t cut the suit unless I absolutely have to. Okay?" Garrett looked down on the man with sincerity showing in her eyes.

The bearded man looked at her for a long moment before he conceded. "Okay, but I’m still not paying for it if you do."

The surgeon nodded. "Somehow I knew you were going to say that."

‘I can see that it’s going to be a long night without you, Danni.’ Garrett’s eyes glanced up to the clock on the wall opposite her. She brought her attention back to the Santa suited man, examining him as Rosie and John both undertook the effort to disrobe him. It was going to be a long night for all of them.

***

The gentle knock on the door was met with no answer. Brie stood patiently in the hall as the rest of the adults slowly emerged from their sleeping chambers, drawn by the sound of a gleeful child on Christmas morning. She rapped a little harder this time as she tried to arouse her sleeping sister. Again, she was met with no answer. Knowing that Danni was alone, Brie dared to be bold, opening her door and looking in.

The dim light from the hallway illuminated the room barely enough for her to see the tousled hair blonde snuggled deep in her childhood bed. Venturing into the room, Brie made her way over to the bed. "Danni, are you going to wake up?" Her question was met by the rustling of covers and the emergence of a leather clad arm out from under them. ‘How cute! I bet she missed a certain surgeon. I wonder how she’s going to explain wearing that coat all night?’

Brie’s thoughts turned to how her older sister had needed to have Gunther with her nearly the entire time. She had even taken a nap with him after dinner. ‘And speaking of dinner, what’s with her refusing her favorite wine? Then Danni’s words echoed in her sister’s head. "I’m not sure that wine would be a good thing for me right now." That prayer of hers, such a soft touch, even remembering to mention the littlest of the family in it. The woman found herself rubbing he belly reflexively at the thought of her unborn child. Suddenly Brie’s eyes grew bigger when she thought of her exact wording of the prayer. "…And throughout the year to come with the new life that you have graced our family with." Brie’s eyes fell on her sleeping sister. "Danni, are you trying to tell us…" but she couldn’t complete the thought. Brie turned to leave when the husky sound of her sister’s voice stopped her.

"Gar?"

"No, Danni, it’s me, Brie. You’re at home, remember?"

"Huh?" One very tired eyeball rolled lazily as it began to awaken. Danni began to recognize her old room. She pushed her upper torso off of the pillow. "How’d I get…" She looked over at her sister standing in the doorway as the sound of an excited toddler echoed throughout the house. "I remember now. Merry Christmas, Brie."

"Merry Christmas! You going to come down for the present opening or are you going to lay around missing that surgeon of yours?"

"Missing Garrett…why would you think that I was missing…" She looked down to the jacket that was wrapped around her small form. She could feel the blush start as it rose up her neck and began to take hold of her face. Danni rubbed her arms across her chest, acting like she was cold. "I…I was…" The small blonde searched for a reason. "Cold! I was just cold that’s all." It was all that she could do to keep the blush from overtaking her face.

"Whatever you say, Sis. I’ll let mother know that you’re up, that way you won’t have to get embarrassed twice about sleeping in that gift." Her sister chuckled and started to close the door. "I’ll see you downstairs, Danni. Your nephew will be waiting for you."

Danni let the door close before she glanced over at the clock. It was 0600. ‘Only six more hours to go. With any luck, I’ll be out of here in about four or so.’ She rose from the bed and headed for the door. Then with her hand on the doorknob, she looked into the mirror of the nearby dresser. ‘Guess I better wear my robe instead, huh?’ Reluctantly she exchanged the jacket for her robe, continuing out the door and down the stairs.

The morning had been one that the family had relived many times before. The only difference now was that the children were grown up, taking the places of their aunts and uncles. Rightfully so, their parents were now taking on the roll of grandparents with the offspring that Brie and Mark were adding to the family. The roles of everyone may have changed with time but the ritual was still the same, presents from Santa followed by presents from relatives and last of all, presents that Mother had picked out for everyone.

***

The hours had flown by when Mother had announced that the buffet breakfast was ready. This had always signified that gift exchanging was done. Dutifully the family would put their gifts down and move with a zombie-like walk to fulfill the matriarch’s command. This year was going to be different. Danni had stayed playing on the floor with her nephew when her Mother had approached her.

"Didn’t you hear me, Danni? I said breakfast was ready." She stood over her, waiting for an answer. "You don’t want to set a bad example for Gunther, do you?"

For a brief second, the young woman felt like a child again, being chastised for not setting a good example. Then it dawned on her. ‘I’m not a child anymore. I’m an adult and I can do what I please.’ "Mother, I’m not really hungry right now. I think that I had a little too much eggnog last night. I don’t really feel like eating."

"In all my years as your mother, Danielle, I’ve never known you to pass up breakfast."

Brie came back into the room with a plate for her son. "Something wrong, Danni? I don’t ever remember you not being first in line for breakfast."

"Nothing, Brie. I’m just a little queasy this morning and with having to ride for an hour to get to work, I’d rather not eat, that’s all."

Her mother looked at her daughter still sitting on the floor. "Are you sure? Maybe you should call your work and tell them that you’re not coming in."

"I’m fine, really." Danni got up holding her hand out for her nephew to follow her. "Come on, Gunny, your mommy’s got breakfast here for you."

She led him over to her sister, helping him up onto the couch. "You be good for mommy, now. I’m going to go get my shower and get ready to go to work."

The small boy looked up to his aunt. "I glad you here Auntie Dan."

Danni smiled, brushed his hair off of his forehead, then planted a kiss in the vacated spot. "I love you, Dumpling."

"I love you, too."

Danni waved to him and headed for the stairs. His eyes grew big as he watched his aunt go.

It was only a short time before Danni had showered and gathered up her clothing. There was little to pack in the overnight bag as she made one last look around the room that she grew up in. She compared it to her house in the city and for the first time realized that here in her mother’s house she was never allowed to really be herself. Her mother decorated the room for her and she supposed in that same vein, it was an attempt to have Danni live her life like her mother wanted. Now she longed to be home, in her own house, even more. She gathered her bag and jacket then left the room, never looking back.

With her belongings at the door, Danni made her rounds of ‘good-byes’ through the rooms, stopping to hug and kiss each family member that she came upon. Her last stop was the kitchen where Brie and her mother were clearing away the food from the table. Watching from the door, she could see the similarities that her sister and mother shared. ‘Thank the gods that it’s you, Brie. I don’t think I could ever be like her.’

Brie was the first to notice her sister. "Danni, are you leaving already?"

"Yeah!" The nurse went over to her sister to say good-bye. "I’ve got to be at work by noon. I don’t want to have to rush with the weather out there." She leaned in to hug her sister.

"It was nice seeing you. Next time maybe we’ll get to meet Garrett, huh?"

"Sooner or later, I’m sure you will." Danni turned to her mother. "Mother, thanks for inviting me." She waited for the official hug and kiss that was always initiated by her mother.

Brie waited until the greeting was finished before she addressed her sister. "There’s a piece of your Stollen left, would you like me to wrap it up for you?" She held up the small section that was left. "I’m sure that Garrett might enjoy a little sugar burst when you get in."

Danni could feel the warm hands of her father resting on her shoulders. He bent slightly and spoke softly into her ear. "Or maybe Garrett won’t need anything at all to get a boost once you show your face. Huh, lil’ one?"

‘Is it that noticeable?’ The young woman could feel the growing heat of the blush that was starting at the base of her neck. She fought hard to arrest it in its early stages but it was no use. Slowly her skin was turning from pink to deeper shades of red. "I…I think I forgot something upstairs. I’ll be back for it in a minute, Brie." She put her head down trying to keep the ever-growing blush from their sight. Danni left without another word, too afraid of what might be said.

Mr. Bossard just shrugged to his wife. "I guess she’s not used to being in love. In fact, I’m not sure she even knows that she’s in love yet, come to think of it." His mind reviewed the discussions that they had the night before and he was sure that was her situation.

Danni had made her way to the front door. She stood cursing her body that betrayed her at the mention of Garrett’s name. She wondered if anyone else had noticed it or was her father just so intuned with her that only he could tell? Danni pulled on her jacket and pushed her hands down deep into the pockets, as her lip rolled over into a pout. The young woman stood there, unsure of her next move when the tug at her pants caused her to look down. There, was Gunny with a look of genuine concern on his adorable face.

"Auntie Dan, why you sad?"

Her heart melted in his stare. She didn’t want to lie to him but she couldn’t tell him the truth. Hell, she didn’t even know what the truth of the matter was. She knelt down next to the boy and gave him a big hug. "Dumpling, I’m just sad that I have to leave you and I won’t see you for a while. That’s all." Danni tried to muster a smile. It was a weak one at that.

His little mouth puckered up as his hands guided her face towards his. The moment held a special quality to it and Brie recognized it as soon as she came through the Living Room. The pregnant woman slowed her steps to a crawl as she absent-mindedly rubbed her protruding abdomen. Brie actually felt a twinge of jealousy toward her sister. Gunther was so cute and loving when she was near.

After another hug, Danni stood and waved to the tyke, then picked up her bag and headed for the door.

"Danni!" Brie moved quicker now. "I’ve got your Stollen for Garrett." She held up a hand with the bag in it. "Come on, Gunther, its time for you to get dressed. We have a schedule to keep." She grabbed his hand in exchange for the bag and started to tug him away from her sister. "Your Aunt Danni is too busy to spend the rest of Christmas with us."

"Brie, hospitals don’t close on holidays. We all deserve a chance to be with our families for part of the day. I’ll be taking someone’s place so that they can be with their family for a while."

"Whatever you say, Danni." Brie rolled her eyes in disgust.

Danni took the bag and gave her sister a weak hug. "Thanks, Brie, for everything."

"I’m pregnant, I won’t break." She reached out and hugged her sister tightly. ‘I’m the matriarch in training here. God knows you could never be strong enough to keep this family running like a well-timed watch.’

The petite blonde felt like a young child that was being shown who was in charge. Closing her eyes, Danni waited for the "kiss" from her younger sister. ‘Yep, there it is, just like Mother’s.’ She let out a sigh as she felt her body being released.

Danni’s father waited patiently until his younger daughter had gone up the staircase with his grandson in tow before he let his presence be known.

The clearing of his throat caught his older daughter’s attention.

"Oh, Dad…I didn’t see you standing there." She crossed into the doorway of the Living Room and circled her arms around the man’s waist. "I’m headed back to Pittsburgh. Thanks for the time we shared last night." The nurse reached up and kissed him.

"I asked Brie to pack a little something for you, on the drive back." He looked down at her. "I noticed that you didn’t start the breakfast line earlier. Too much eggnog last night, lil’one?"

"Maybe! Thanks." Danni was pensive for a moment, then spoke what was on her mind. "You know, Dad, I really miss grampa but I’m glad you’re able fill his shoes."

Her father tipped his head in appreciation of the compliment. He knew that his oldest daughter had spent many a long summer day talking to his own father during her childhood. The man had given her all of his time while his son was busy building a business. They had been almost inseparable when she was not in school. Now, it made her own father happy to be there for her in his father’s absence. "If you ever need to talk, I’m here."

Danni nodded in response. Taking in a deep sigh, she went out the door.

Her father watched as she loaded the trunk of her car and drove off down the driveway.

The car was slowly driving off of the property when Brie noticed the movement outside of the window. She stopped undressing her son for his bath as she thought about the impressions that her sister had left her with. ‘All of the things from yesterday I could let go, Danni, but this morning. Now that was the clincher! You with a queasy stomach, not likely unless…’ Then Brie knew that her earlier suspicions were true. ‘She’s pregnant!’

She had wanted to confront Danni before she left, but not in front of the rest of the family, especially their mother. Brie saw no reason to ruin Christmas for the rest of the family. Perhaps if she gave it a little while longer, Danni would take the matter into hand herself and not disgrace the family with a bastard child. ‘Danni, I hope you know what you’re doing. Raising a child is tough work with two parents, but with just one…I hope this Garrett is the one for you, at least for Mother’s sake.’

[amandaoftherosemire]

Sing For Me - Chapter Thirty-eight

Fandom: Marvel Avengers AU

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X OFC (Sasha)

Characters: Bucky Barnes, OFC Sasha, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, Clint Barton, Wanda Maximoff, OFC Zoe, OFC Kat, OFC Maddie, Princess Shuri

Author: @amandaoftherosemire​

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 2290

Format: Series (Complete)

Warning: Language, angst.

Summary: Sasha searches for a way out.

A/N: Not consistent with Marvel canon. This would have been up last week but another of my fics wouldn’t stop screaming in my brain to let me finish it. At least I was writing something. :D

Banner by: @hellzzzbelle

Sing For Me Masterlist

Chapter Thirty-seven here

Chapter Thirty-eight

Sasha was thoroughly lost. Which was weird and annoying since she was almost certain these woods were the same as those behind Caleb’s grandparents’ house. From time to time, however, the look of a gnarled tree or a moss-covered rock would send a chill down her spine, reminding her of the forest that surrounded Morozov’s compound.

If she managed to get out of this, she was going to have to confront the destruction of said compound, if for no other reason than to deal with the part of her that still lived in terror. Besides, she’d promised to dance the mambo on the ashes of everything Valentin had built. She needed to set a good example for Zoe about keeping one’s word, after all.

She couldn’t be sure if she had been stamping through these woods for twenty minutes or twenty days, the light remaining the same midday gloom of a thickly overcast day, but she was almost positive she was walking in circles. Since she wasn't certain this experience was completely subjective, she didn't know if it was something symbolic representing some aspect of her psyche, or if she was… still?... somewhere else…

Sasha stopped to examine the tree she was certain she’d passed three times already. It was big enough around that it would take another four of her to surround it and rose over a hundred feet in the air. She'd narrowed her eyes at it the second time she'd seen it, but she couldn't be sure it necessarily meant anything, so she'd kept moving. Now that she was sure she'd seen it more than once, it could only mean she was meant to pay attention.

“Do you think you’ll ever be free of me, dorogaya moya?" The voice was smooth with a faint Russian accent and a hint of menace. The sound sent a shiver down her spine, but she answered as she always had.

"Ugh! With this shit again!?" Sasha threw her arms up in the air as she spun to confront the blue-eyed monster in a bespoke suit that still haunted her nightmares.

Valentin Morozov stood a few feet away and smiled in the same way a shark does moments before devouring its prey. “A part of you will always belong to me, Alexandra.”

Just as Valentin spoke the hated name, Sasha thought she heard the flutes and strings that came with the pretty, playful azure breeze. She flicked the back of her hand at him as she looked around and strained to catch which direction it was coming from. “Can you shut up? I’m trying to hear.”

Valentin continued with his now familiar refrain. Sasha had heard these words in her nightmares more times than in reality at this point. “I’ll always be here, Alexandra. I’m part of you now.”

“You’re just the worst, Val. You know that, right?” She was barely paying attention to her own personal boogeyman as she could swear she heard her name amongst the happy woodwinds and melancholy strings and hoped it wasn’t wishful thinking. “You’re like Hannibal Lecter without the charm or intelligence or social polish.”

“All that fire, solnyshko,” Val moved in, his hand reaching out to touch her, something she’d swore to never again allow, even in dreams, “and you waste it on— “

“Shut. Your. Fucking. Mouth.” Sasha didn’t even look at the man who’d tortured and scarred her inside and out as she placed the tip of the sword she still held at his throat. Her face colder than his reptilian eyes, she scanned her surroundings for the little breeze she could hear but not see.

“Al—” Val opened his mouth to speak, but only the first syllable escaped before Sasha was spinning the sword and plunging it into his chest. His face mirrored the same astonishment he had worn at his actual death as he stared down at the blade and the blood that soaked his pristine white shirt around it.

Sasha sounded almost bored as she spoke. “I’ll kill you as many times as I need to, in whatever ways I have to. You cannot win because you’re nothing but a bad memory. And my name is Sasha.”

With a disdainful yank, she pulled the sword from Valentin’s chest to let him fall to the ground. "Asshole." At least she now knew she was trapped inside her own mind. Val was her monster; he only haunted her dreams now. If he was here, she had to be unconscious.

Once Valentin was no longer distracting her, Sasha realized the giant tree she stood staring up at glowed a gentle golden hue and resonated with the song that rode the wind through its branches. Circling the enormous cedar, she was able to pinpoint the direction the song was coming from. Hefting the sword back over her shoulder in case Val made another appearance, she took off at a trot to wherever Zoe was leading.

Over what felt like the next hour, she followed the song at a jog, trying and failing to determine whether it was getting louder, until she came upon another of those glowing golden cedars. She was certain it wasn’t the same tree; this one was shorter but bigger around. As she came near, she became certain the song was louder.

Reaching out, Sasha placed her hand against the surprisingly cool, rough bark. As soon as her palm made contact, a rush of rose-gold power blew through her like light and for the first time in months, she could feel the people around her.

Zoe was closest, her fear and desperation accompanied by the whisper of her thoughts, calling across the void, exhorting Sasha to stop being such a drama queen and get up already.

Next was a song both familiar and not, a tangled mass of fear and defiance. Over and through that tangle, however, sang a melody of joyous, unconditional devotion. Sasha had her suspicions about the source of that song, as well as a deep curiosity as to the inspiration of such adoration.

Under it all was the song Sasha was searching for and once she found it, the pull towards it was too great to resist. Not that she tried. With a happy whoop, she took off into the forest at a run, following both the pull and Zoe’s song.

As she ran, ducking under branches and leaping over fallen logs, Zoe’s voice got louder and louder as long as she continued to follow the magnetic pull towards what felt like her own polar star. She could no longer understand the words now that she was on the move, but the impatience came through loud and clear.

Sasha was chuckling to herself at the sensation when she burst through the line of trees to find herself in a clearing dominated by the biggest tree she’d ever seen. Rising hundreds upon hundreds of feet into the sky and at least a hundred feet in diameter, Sasha was sure such a thing couldn’t exist in reality.

Aside from its size, it also shone golden, a stream of rose-gold light spearing into the blue-silver clouds that swirled and churned around it. Tilting her head as far back as she could, she saw a twinkling of rich cerulean far, far up, somehow shimmering with impatience.

“Well, shit.” Sasha stood several yards back looking up, trying to see the top of the tree she was now sure she’d have to climb. Her heart failing her a little— she was so, so tired— she strode forward to place her hand on the reddish-brown bark.

This time she didn’t even have to make contact before the rush of light was moving through her. The little blue twinkle came clearer as she was engulfed by the pleasantly warm golden glow streaming from every crack in the bark.

Sasha chuckled as she determined that it was indeed her little sister pumping all that impatience into the air but sobered quickly when she felt Zoe’s sick dread and wracking guilt. Instinctively, and as though she’d never lost it, she reached out with her power, sending reassurance, wry affection, and absolute confidence out through her palm and into the tree.

She was certain she knew what to do now, though she couldn’t explain how. It was simply a matter of doing it. Getting shit done had never been a problem for Sasha.

Less than a second later, she felt Zoe respond to her push of emotion with elation and excitement. She could nearly see the pretty blue-green twinkle flitting around the top of the tree, the feeling came through so clearly.

Exhausted all the way to her bones, Sasha half-chuckled, half-sighed as she rested her forehead on the trunk next to where her hand still lay. It was then she noted that the tree felt nothing like the bark and wood it appeared to be; it was paradoxically hard as stone yet as malleable as clay.

Simply sighing this time, feeling a little defeated before she began but unwilling to wait, she pressed her fingers into the bark, the wood collapsing inward under the pressure to make a perfect handhold. “Not really a climbing tree, but okay.” Lifting her other hand over her head and pushing her toes in, she began the ascent.

At first, she stopped as often as there was a branch capable of supporting her weight, resting with her back to the trunk and trying not to fall. She didn’t know that it would matter, or if it would kill her, so she opted not to find out.

Before long, however, she was climbing faster and resting less often; a slow but steady surge of energy bearing an odd, unfamiliar familiarity poured into Sasha from the tree and its revitalizing gold light. The higher she climbed, the more tumultuous the winds that buffeted both the tree and Sasha.

Sasha was not complaining, however. She’d always been a fan of storms, of wild winds and purifying cloudbursts, and this was a storm meant for her. She could feel it as the gale lifted the tangled hair at the nape of her neck and whispered across her skin.

Hours, possibly days later, her foot planted firmly on the last branch that could hold her, she pulled herself finally to the top of a tree tall enough that its existence as an obstacle had come to feel like she was being insulted. She couldn't figure out what the hell her brain was up to.

She wrapped her arm around the tree trunk and leaned out as far as she could, shaking her hair back to toss and tumble in the wind. Like cool fingers combing through the tangled locks, it both soothed and excited.

The little azure twinkle had been chuckling and swirling, obviously trying both encouragement and taunts to motivate Sasha on. Filled nearly to bursting with that warm golden light, she’d hardly needed to breathe through the last stretch, so the encouragement endeared while the taunts amused.

Once she’d reached the top, however, the pretty aquamarine light had moved out into the whirling, arctic gale and shimmied up and down as though to lure Sasha closer. She watched the little star in consternation, utterly baffled as to why her sister seemed to want her to jump.

The twinkle suddenly dipped, drawing Sasha’s eyes downward and making her stomach pitch at the sight of the ground far below. Despite the overwhelming urge to close her eyes in response to her spinning head, she kept them open and trained on her guide. Because of that absolute trust, she noticed the swirl of blue and silver mist that streamed upward in an unbroken spiral. The current was within leaping distance, but only if she didn’t hesitate or hold back.

Sasha didn’t give herself time to think or second guess. Running down the length of the branch with the same poise she’d once used on the dance floor, she leapt into the air. She pushed off with as much power as she possessed, her body an arrow aiming for the eddy of air she believed absolutely would carry her home.

For a moment, as she reached the apex of her arc and began the plummet to the earth below, her stomach dipped and her heart failed.

In the next, a cool and oddly firm gust of wind caught her and threw her higher than she’d ever been before.

Never should have doubted you. The first thing to run through Sasha’s head as she regained consciousness was directly related to the first thing she noticed, the cool metal against the fire in the back of her neck.

“—op acting like you’re the only one who’s thinking about what’s best for Zoe, Steve.”

Sasha didn’t open her eyes right away, the simple sensation of being genuinely conscious overwhelming enough. The weight of her own body was almost more than she could bear now that she could actually feel it. Though everything she’d experienced had felt utterly real in the moment, now that she was awake, much of it seemed to fade away.

“I cannot believe you’re thinking about letting her try this!”

Sasha didn’t need to hear any more to know she didn't want to. “If you guys are going to fight—” The rasp of her voice, rusty with disuse, had every eye snapping in her direction. She kept her eyes closed, not ready to endure the light yet, but she smirked. “—can you at least take your shirts off?” She gingerly pried her eyes apart to grin tiredly, but with a slow, cheeky wink, at a gaping Bucky, who stared thunderstruck, silent in disbelief. “No reason the rest of us shouldn’t get a show.”

Chapter Thirty-nine here

Taglist:

@marvel-lucy @cheekygeek05 @lbouvet @lovely-geek @wantingtobekorra @diinofayce @ashesandfire @suz-123 @theresaskankinmyboot @ddysis @caplansteverogers @getbuckylucky @california-grown @rnr1274 @capandbuck @buckybarnesappreciationsociety @magellan-88 @mizzzpink @curiositywillbethedeathofmee @colie87 @bibliophile1773 @henrietteoaks @hellzzzbelle @same--old-shit @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @rishlo @eyesfixedonthesun22

[crystal-siren]

Other Worlds (Obi-Wan x Reader) Pt.3

@dovies666 <3 hope you like :)

Part 1  Part 2

And never underestimate the power of a small act of kindness. A selfless gesture, a moment of reassurance, even something so simple as a smile can be enough to save a person. After all, when you are stumbling blind in the dark, the soft, steady glow of a single star is all that’s required to illuminate the way forward. ~ Beau Taplin // Illuminate

Naboo was everything like Y/N had said it would be. From the gushing waterfalls to the tree-lined avenues. The soft spring sun created dappled patterns as it shone through the leaves.

Padme watched her friend’s thinly veiled amazement with a small smile. Coming from desert planet, Anakin was not used to seeing so much water and feeling a breeze that wasn’t as warm as the planet’s twin suns.

Having just left her parent’s residence, the pair were headed to Naboo’s picturesque Lake Country. If she had to be in hiding, Padme had decided to make the most of it.

~ ~ ~

Endless torrential rains greeted Obi-Wan as he entered Kamino’s atmosphere. Perpetual storm clouds prevented any natural light from making its way through.

Entire cities were built on stilts in order for its inhabitants to escape the raging waters that covered the entire surface of the planet.

Eventually locating a landing platform and touching down, Obi-Wan immediately felt the hard pellets of rain as his cockpit slid open. Stepping out, he lifted his hood for some measure of protection against the violent weather. Wasting no time, he headed for the nearest entrance and sighed in relief when the door slid open.

This relief turned to confusion and curiosity as a tall pale alien approached him and spoke in calm voice. “Master Jedi. The Prime Minister is expecting you.”

Hoping he didn’t appear too confused, Obi-Wan spoke, “I’m expected?”

The tall alien nodded, “of course. He is anxious to meet you. After all these years, we were beginning to think you weren’t coming. Now please, this way.”

Obi-Wan followed the pale creature down numerous white halls until at last they came to a chamber in which sat another member of the same species. From his garb, he appeared to be someone of importance. This was confirmed when he was introduced. “May I present Lama Su, Prime Minister of Kamino.”

Obi-Wan bowed respectfully when he was introduced and took an offered seat opposite the Prime Minister.

Almost instantly the Prime Minister launched into a topic of conversation that Obi-Wan was not at all familiar with.

“Two hundred thousand units are ready. With a million more well on the way.”

Units? Units of what? Clearing his expression of any confusion that may have lingered there, Obi-Wan met the Prime Minister’s eyes. “That, is good news.”

The pale alien smiled and nodded, “Please tell your Master, Sifo-Dyas that we have every confidence that his order will be met on time.”

Obi-Wan wasn’t sure if he’d heard correctly. “I’m sorry, Master..?”

His confusion was not lost on the Prime Minister. “Jedi Master Sifo-Dyas is still a leading member of the Jedi Council, is he not?”

Obi-Wan was momentarily lost for words but soon found his voice. “Master Sifo-Dyas was killed almost ten years ago.” His brow furrowed in thought, maybe there was more to this than just the simple assassination of a Senator.

“I’m so sorry to hear that,” the Prime Minister paused briefly before continuing, “but you must be anxious to inspect the units for yourself.”

Seeing no other alternative, Obi-Wan smiled and nodded. “That’s why I’m here.”

The Prime Minister rose elegantly and Obi-Wan followed suit. News of the army did not bode well and he began to wonder if Y/N knew anything about this.

~ ~ ~

After everything she had been taught, Y/N had expected death to feel somewhat different to what she was currently experiencing. Prying her eyes open, she blinked as she took in her surroundings and groaned when she recognised the hive-like structure of her cell.

Maybe death was a better alternative. Geonosis was a hole Y/N had hoped never to return to. From the insectile natives to the rocky and barren terrain, Y/N detested it all.

Upon noticing that her hands were bound this time, she huffed in annoyance and pushed herself into a standing position. The only thing that caught a sliver of her interest were high-up windows that she had no hope of reaching. Then a grating noise came from behind her, causing her to turn around. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes at her visitor.

“You are awake,” that refined tone grated her nerves.

“Unless I’ve started talking in my sleep, it would seem so.” Y/N kept her voice at a monotone, seeing no point in putting in any effort for this man, whoever he was. “Why am I here?”

Nodding to the guard that must have been standing just outside the door, the man took a few steps in her direction. “It is indeed a surprise that one such as you has not yet attained the rank of Master.”

Y/N narrowed her eyes, that was indeed a sore point for her. Standing up straight, she looked him in the eye and smiled slightly. “It is not for me to determine whether or not I should hold that rank. It is the Council’s decision.”

“Ah yes, the Council.” The man seemed thoughtful, “the very same Council that undermines you at every turn.”

“We’ve had our differences,” Y/N agreed. “But I do not see how that has anything to do with my being here. Of all places.”

“There are those that would benefit greatly from your talents.”

Y/N couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “What are you saying?”

“Join me,” the man held out a hand, “and you will be given the respect you so rightly deserve.”

Y/N eyed his hand as though it were a particularly poisonous snake. “You’re one of them aren’t you?” She fervently hoped she was wrong.

“If by them, you are referring to those of us who wish to leave the Republic, then yes.”

Y/N’s lip curled in disgust. “Separatists,” she spat the word like it was poison in her mouth.

“You are making a grave mistake young Y/L/N.”

Her answering smile held no warmth. “It is you who are making the mistake. Asking me to betray my people and everything I stand for. If you knew me at all, you would know that this is a waste of time.” She moved to stand in front of him and looked him straight in the eye. “I will never join you. I stand for stability and peace, you stand for chaos and war and I want nothing to do with either.”

The man said nothing, he simply turned on his heel and signaled for the guard to open the door. He did not look back.

All of a sudden, all energy left her. Collapsing to the floor, Y/N knew that whatever was truly going on here, the Council had to be informed.

~ ~ ~

If he had to describe the clone army he had just seen in two words, impressive and intimidating were the first ones that came to mind.

Having learnt from the Prime Minister that the original host for the clones was on-planet, Obi-Wan had immediately requested an audience with him. As he followed the Prime Minister, he witnessed the different stages of growth for the clones. “It’s all very impressive.” There was no denying that.

“I’d hoped you’d be pleased,” Lama Su replied with a slight bow.

Then one question came to mind, one so obvious that Obi-Wan wondered how he had not thought of it before. “Tell me, Prime Minister. When my Master Sifo-Dyas first contacted you, did he say who it was for...himself....or?” He knew he was treading on potentially dangerous ground here, but he had to know.

Lama Su seemed surprised. “Himself? Of course not,” he turned to look at a group of developing embryos. “This army is for the Republic.”

“The Republic?” Obi-Wan wasn’t sure if he’d heard correctly. Why would the Republic possibly require an army? Especially one of this size.

The Prime Minister seemed to have sensed his confusion. “We are also very much against this Count Dooku and his seccessionist movement.” He said by way of explanation, “we are proud to be of help to the Republic.”

Having allowed the Prime Minister’s assistant to show him his quarters, Obi-Wan immediately went about contacting the Council. This matter was troubling indeed and having his suspicions about this so-called Master Sifo-Dyas confirmed, Obi-Wan tried to settle down and get some rest. He hoped that the planned meeting with the clone host would provide him with some much-needed answers.

His mind however, would grant him no such peace. Worry for Y/N crept into his thoughts. Did her disappearance have any connection to this? He had not seen her for a near two weeks and yet it felt like two years.

~ ~ ~

Y/N soon discovered that, without her weapons, or hands for that matter, her situation was not looking to improve any time soon.

Biting her lip in thought, Y/N looked at the walls of her cell. Her eyes then traveled up to the windows. If she could somehow get up there. Knowing that she had little to no alternatives, Y/N already dreaded the thought of just how high up those windows were. Never having liked heights, Y/N knew that she would have to use an incredible amount of focus if she was to ever see the outside of this wretched cell.

Taking a deep breath, she approached one of the walls and slid her bound hands into the nearest handhold. So, she began to climb. 

Her muscles were soon quivering with the effort it took for her to not let go and crash to the ground. The higher she went, the smaller the handholds became. Small scratches littered her hands and forearms and she had to force herself to look up.

Cursing the shackles around her wrists for what seemed like the hundredth time, Y/N reached for the next handhold. Her hands however, were slippery with sweat. Luckily for the young Jedi, the rock was far from smooth. Latching onto it, she pulled herself up and with relief beyond imagining, saw a window right above her. Thanking the Force a thousand times over, she pulled her exhausted body through the window, but failed to remember that Geonosian hives resembled towers.

With both hands shakily preventing her from falling, Y/N dared to look and see just how high she was. She almost cried with relief upon noticing that her feet dangled a mere few feet above the rocky ground. Letting go, she landed gracefully with the help of the Force.

Forcing her trembling and tired body to stand up straight, Y/N knew she had to find out just what was going on. Knowing that if she stopped she would collapse, Y/N crept into the nearest entrance.

The entire palace-like building seemed to be deserted, strangely so. Making an effort to move quietly, Y/N made her way down numerous passageways and paused when the sound of machinery reached her ears. Curious, she changed direction.

Y/N swore her jaw hit the floor. It did not take her long to find the source of the noise. Before her lay the infamous Geonosian droid foundries. Her heart hammered in her chest as she witnessed row after row of battle droids being created. What in the name of the Force was going on here? Was there to be a war? Did the Council know? Did Obi-Wan? Just the thought of her friend made her smile, albeit a little sadly. She had not seen or spoken to him since his mission to Ansion. If only she had a way of reaching him now.

“You are quite the curious one aren’t you?”

Y/N froze, her train of thought disrupted by that hated voice. Turning to face him, she denied him the satisfaction of seeing her panic.

To be continued...

Part 4

[berjhawn]

Elastic Heart - Part 5 - Thunder Battle

Warnings: Fighting, arguments, ETC

Pairings: LOTR X OFC ; HOBBIT X OFC ; Thranduil X OFC ; Fili X OFC

Parts: 

Prologue

Part 1 - An Unexpected Journey

Part 2 - The Beginning

Part 3 - Trolls

Part 4 - Rivendell

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A couple days pass and I could tell the elves were getting tired of the dwarves. One night, the Dwarves are having a late night party in our quarters. They roast sausages over a fire made by burning the Elvish furniture. Bofur, seeing a heavy Bombur sitting on a bench and eating a large bowl of food, looks at his sausage thoughtfully. “Bombur!” Bofur calls to his brother and as Bombur looks up, Bofur throws him the sausage. Bombur catches it; the weight of the sausage is just too much for the bench, and the bench breaks; Bombur, shrieking, falls to the floor, along with all his food. The dwarves laugh uproariously.

I smile as I follow Bilbo up the stairs to look out over Rivendell, when I hear Gandalf say, “Of course I was going to tell you I was waiting for a chance. I think you can trust that I know what I’m doing.” I follow his voice and see him and Elrond walk up a flight of stairs toward a pavilion.

“Do you? That dragon has slept for sixty years. What would you happen should your plan fail? If you wake the beast-”

“But if we succeed? If the dwarves take back the mountain, our defenses in the east will be strengthened.”

“It is a dangerous move Gandalf,”

“It is also dangerous to do nothing, the throne of Erebor is Thorin’s birthright; what is he to fear?”

“Have you forgotten a strain of madness runs thick in that family; his grandfather lost his mind, his father succumbed to the same sickness? Can you swear Thorin Oakenshield will not also fall? Gandalf these decisions do not fall to us alone, it is not up to you or me to redraw the map of Middle Earth.”

“With or without our help these dwarves will march on the mountain. They’re determined to reclaim their homeland. I do not feel that Thorin Oakenshield is answerable to anyone. Nor for that matter am I.”

By this time I realize that Thorin has joined Bilbo and me. I open my mouth to offer words of encouragement but find that none come. I watch him turn and walk away and I mentally kick myself. I follow after him and as we reach the rest of our group I hear him tell the rest that we leave in the morning without Gandalf. I walk over to my pallet and throwing myself down stare up into the night sky. I heave a heavy sigh as I slowly turn my head to the side to find Fili glancing over in my direction at the same time. As our eyes meet I give him a reassuring smile before I close my eyes and fall asleep.

The next morning I stand at the edge of the path next to Bilbo as we stare back at Rivendell. I had the sudden feeling that leaving without Gandalf was a bad idea but I quickly shake my head and pulling my hood up follow after the dwarves. “Be on your guard; we’re about to step over the edge of the Wild. Randír, you know these paths; lead on.” Thorin says and I nod as I quickly make my way to the front of the group.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We hike through the wilderness of Middle Earth, over ranges, mountains, and plains. As we are crossing the Misty Mountains; the trail is narrow and dangerous, with a cliff on one side and a sheer drop on the other. There is a fierce storm in the air, with lightning and rain all around. “Hold on!” Thorin calls as we climb along. As Bilbo walks, the stone beneath his feet gives away, and he starts falling into the chasm; Dwalin manages to pull him back in time. “We must find shelter!”

“Watch out!” Dwalin yells out and we all look up to see a massive boulder hurtling through the air; it hits the mountainside above us, causing rocks to fall all around us as we press ourselves against the mountain. “This is no thunderstorm; it’s a thunder battle! Look!” Balin calls out as a stone giant rears up from a nearby mountain; it rips off a massive boulder from the top of the mountain. “Well bless me, the legends are true. Giants; Stone Giants!” Bofur says and I smile in amazement.

“Take cover: you’ll fall!” Thorin calls out causing Kili to say, “What’s happening?” The Giant throws the boulder far in the air;  suddenly another stone giant, appears from behind us, and is hit in the head. The dwarves yell at each other to brace and hold on, and the rocks beneath our feet begin to give way from all the vibrations and from the impact of the falling rocks. The ground between some of dwarves splits; part of the group is on one side, and part on the other.

“Kili! Grab my hand! Ki…” Fili cries out as he reaches for his brother. As the two stone giants fight with their fists, we hold on tight as we are flung around. One of the groups manages to jump to a different spot. A third stone giant appears, and it throws a boulder at the head of one of the first two. That one falls over; as the first group watches, it appears to us that the other group of dwarves has been smashed to bits. The hurt stone giant loses its footing and falls down the chasm. My heart drops and my eyes widen as I think the worst. “No! No! Kili!” Thorin yells as we rush over to the spot where the others appeared to have been crushed. I feel my heart relax as I see that they are safe.

“We’re all right! We’re alive!” Balin cries out as they all pull themselves to their feet. 

“Where’s Bilbo? Where’s the Hobbit?” Bofur cries out and my eyes instantly start look over the edge.

“There!” Ori cries out and Dwalin yells, “Get him!” I try to make my way over to him but I can’t maneuver my way through the dwarves. Bilbo is hanging onto the edge of the cliff with just his fingertips. Ori dives onto the ground and tries to grab Bilbo’s arm, but Bilbo slips and falls another few feet before he catches another handhold.

As the dwarves try to pull him up unsuccessfully, Thorin swings down on the cliff next to Bilbo and boost him up, where the others pull him to safety. Dwalin tries to lift Thorin back up too, but Thorin loses his grip and begins falling too; however, Dwalin, with much effort, is able to pull him back up. “I thought we’d lost our burglar.” Dwalin says catching his breath. “He’s been lost ever since he left home. He should never have come. He has no place amongst us. Dwalin!” Thorin says and I instantly feel sorry for Bilbo.

We trudge on until we find a cave. “It looks safe enough.” Dwalin says when we reach it. 

“Search to the back; caves in mountains are seldom unoccupied.” Thorin says and Dwalin searches the cave with a lantern. 

“There’s nothing here.” He replies as Gloin drops a bundle of wood on the floor, rubs his hands, and says, “Right then! Let’s get a fire started.” 

“No, No fires, not in this place. Get some sleep. We start at first light.” Thorin replies and I throw my pack onto the floor of the cave. “We were to wait in the mountains until Gandalf joined us. That was the plan.” Balin says and I glance out the corner of my eye at him and Thorin as he says, “Plans change. Bofur, take the first watch.”

Placing my hands on my hips I turn toward our leader and say, “Can I speak to you in private for a moment?” He stares at me for a moment before he nods and walks to the front of the cave with me close behind. “What did you want to say?” He asks and I take a deep breath before I say, “Why must you be so hard on Bilbo? He’s doing this for you so you all can go home, why must you be so mean?”  He stares at me for a moment not sure how to react before saying, “What business is it of yours?” I narrow my eyes as I say, “He’s my friend, just because he makes one mistake that was an accident does not give you the right to belittle him in front of the whole group.”

“You wouldn’t understand, you’re an Elf.” He says the word Elf like it is a word most foul and it hits my heart like a knife. I gulp down a breath of air to keep my anger down as I say, “You’re right I am an Elf, but at least I have more compassion for those around me than a selfish Dwarf.” I turn from him and walk back to the very back of the cave far away from him. My anger flowed through me and even when I tried to forget it, it would appear again.

I understand he is upset but to just focus his anger on Bilbo was childish. “Randir?” I hear a familiar voice say and turn to see Fili looking at me with concern. “Yes Fili?”

He points to my back and says, “Your shirt ripped.” I feel my anger disappear as a feeling of fear and worry replace it. I look behind me trying to see where the rip is but don’t find it. “Here,” he says as he walks up and gently touches my back making me freeze in place my face blanching. I feel the coarseness of his hand as it gently touches one of the many scars on my back. I intake a sharp breath and he instantly pulls his hand back thinking he had hurt me in some way.

“I have many scars, both visible and not.” I say as I pull my hood off my head so that it covers the newly ripped hole. As my hands fall back to my sides I feel his hand gently touch mine and I turn to see him giving me a reassuring smile as he says, “If you want, you can tell me about them.” 

I return his smile as I follow him over to where he had made himself a pallet and as I sit down beside him I tell him about my scars both visible and mental. Before I know it I have fallen asleep next to him, my head resting on his shoulder as he leans against the cave wall.

Will Continue in - The Goblin King

[sage-nebula]

PKMN - An Evolution of Trust

Notes: This idea came to me about a day or so ago when I was thinking about situations in which Lizardon could have evolved from charmeleon to charizard. It could have been a standard battle, sure, just like his evolution from charmander to charmeleon; however, with the bond between Alan and Lizardon being what it is, I feel like it had to be something a bit more. Thus, this was born. Particularly since I’ve been in a bit of a writing slump for a bit now, I wanted to force myself to write something in an effect to shake that off.

As a reminder (which is probably not needed due to these notes, but) I headcanon that Alan has nicknamed Lizardon, well, Lizardon, and that he did so from the moment Lizardon hatched, just about. This fic takes place when Alan is fourteen, and as such he has been in Lysandre’s service for about a year at this point.

- - -

Had Alan been blessed with a pocket of time in which to study, he would have liked to examine and unravel many of the mysteries of the world that resolutely remained unsolved. Mysteries such as why people steadfastly believed that the bone helmets every cubone wore were absolutely the skulls of their mothers (even when the cubone’s mother was very much alive and seated right next to the baby), or how ditto didn’t go extinct when they didn’t appear able to breed with one another, or why the Houndoominite the Director had sent him to retrieve was wedged in the middle of a canyon wall a few thousand feet off the ground.

Peering down at it from a plateau at the top of the canyon wall, Alan looked to his left and exchanged a frown with Lizardon.

The mountain range was off Route 10, near Geosenge Town, Reflection Cave, and a little village nestled in the woods that Alan felt was better off left alone. He and Lizardon had traveled deep into the canyon, not too far past where a pack of houndour liked to den in the autumn, in order to find the Houndoominite the Director wanted him to retrieve. He hadn’t been particularly thrilled about this assignment---this part of Kalos was an area he usually tried to avoid---but he knew better than to complain or argue with the Director. The quicker he retrieved the Houndoominite, the quicker he could leave. Besides, he had been able to skirt around the village entirely in order to make it into the mountains, and the mountains themselves weren’t bad. It was still too early for the houndour pack to be here---they were probably still back on Route 10, if nothing had disrupted their annual pilgrimage---but he had some pleasant memories in this mountain range that he didn’t mind thinking about. One, anyway.

“I’m going to have to climb down to get it,” he said after a moment, and he looked back down at the mega stone wedged into the canyon wall, glittering in the early afternoon sunlight.

Lizardon had been lying on his stomach beside Alan, looking down at the Houndoominite just as Alan himself was, but at Alan’s words he sat up straighter, and loosed a soft cry of protest.

“There aren’t any other options. There isn’t a path down there, and it isn’t like either one of us can fly. I’ll have to climb.” Alan glanced over in time to see a look of hurt cross Lizardon’s face, and he offered an apologetic smile as he reached over to pat Lizardon’s head. “I’m sorry. Don’t feel bad. It’s not your fault you haven’t evolved, and I don’t mind that you haven’t. You’re fine just the way you are.”

Lizardon pushed his head up under Alan’s palm, an unhappy croon rumbling in his throat. Alan scratched the top of Lizardon’s head gently for a moment longer before he pulled his hand away and looked back down at the mega stone. His stomach fell unpleasantly at the sight.

“It’s my fault for not preparing for this,” he muttered, more to himself than to Lizardon. “I should have brought a rope at the very least.” But the thought that the mega stone would be embedded in the canyon wall without a path down to it hadn’t crossed his mind. In his defense, Alan thought, the mountain range was littered with paths; there was a winding path nearer to the center of the canyon, along which the houndour liked to den each year. There were other paths on either end. Yet this particular part of the canyon had none, and that was where whoever had decided to stash the Houndoominite however many years ago. How they had managed, Alan had no idea; he wondered if this was one of the things the Professor would research if he had the chance---or if perhaps it was one of the things the Professor already knew---but pushed the thought out of his mind a second later.

Wondering that wouldn’t help him get the Houndoominite, and it wasn’t like he could call the Professor and ask. There was no use in thinking about it, and no use in feeling . . . anything beyond the determination he needed to get that mega stone.

“All right,” he said, and he took a deep breath as he swung his legs over the canyon wall. As he turned to face Lizardon he forced another smile, even though the look Lizardon was giving him in return could only be described as ‘deeply afraid.’ “I’m going to go get it. Wait here.”

Lizardon cried out in protest again, reaching one clawed hand out toward Alan, but Alan shook his head.

“No, I mean it,” he said, more firmly this time. “It’s dangerous, and safer for you if you wait here. I’ll climb right back up once I have the mega stone.”

Lizardon whined unhappily, but his arms fell back by his sides, his shoulders slumping, as he nodded. Satisfied that Lizardon would remain on the top of the canyon wall where it was safe, Alan began to slowly make his way down.

Though there was no path that led down to the Houndoominite, there were little footholds and pieces of rock jutting out from the canyon wall. Much farther down, a few of them even looked large enough for Alan to stand on at least briefly, if he needed to reorient himself. With as much care as he could, he lowered himself onto each foothold just long enough so that he could grab onto another piece of rock jutting out from the wall, and after a few minutes passed with no catastrophe befalling him, he smiled.

It really wasn’t as difficult as either he or Lizardon had thought it would be.

Of course, the second those words crossed his mind the universe deemed it time to prove him wrong. He looked down over his shoulder for the next foothold, and frowned at his prospects. There wasn’t one within comfortable range; the best he could hope for was one a little down to his right, but he would have to let go of the canyon wall completely in hopes of reaching it. Then again, it was a bit larger; he might be able to land on it just long enough to grab a hold of the canyon wall again using a piece of rock above it---

Lizardon called out to him in question from above, and Alan looked up and forced another smile.

“It’s okay,” he said. “Everything’s okay.” It was a bit hard to see due to the sun, but Lizardon didn’t look very reassured. The situation being what it was, Alan couldn’t say he blamed him.

He looked back down at the nearest foothold. He would have to let go of the canyon wall entirely, and if his footing slipped for even a moment when he hit that foothold, he was likely looking at a tumble down to the bottom of the canyon. If nothing else, at least death from this great of a fall would probably be instantaneous. He wouldn’t suffer excruciating pain, and he couldn’t imagine it would leave him alive but paralyzed. There was at least that thin, almost invisible silver lining to the situation if he happened to fail. And Lizardon would be all right, he was sure. Mountainous regions were good habitats for charmeleon. And he was smart; he could find a way back to the lab if he needed to. He would know to go back to the Professor instead of the Director.

But that was only if Alan fell, and he didn’t have any intention of falling. Not on purpose, anyway. He had a job to do, and he couldn’t do that if he was dead at the bottom of the canyon. He took a deep breath, gave the handhold he was currently using one final squeeze (and it was a bit hard, due to how his palms and fingers were slicked with sweat), before he simultaneously released the portion of the wall he was holding and stepped off his current foothold to drop toward the lower one.

Lizardon cried out in alarm, but Alan didn’t spare a glance up as his foot hit the foothold he needed. But it was too---he hit it too fast---

The angle at which he hit it, combined with his weight and the force of his fall, caused him to careen to the right; he grasped at any portion of the canyon wall he could get his fingers on in a panic, but somehow the entire wall felt smooth---merciless---beneath his touch. It wasn’t until he was nearly horizontal against the wall that he managed to secure his fingers on a sliver of rock jutting out from it, but that sliver was too far away from the foothold; he dangled thousands of feet above the canyon floor, Lizardon crying out again from the plateau up above.

“I---I’m all right!” Alan called, but even as he swallowed to try and force more strength into his voice, his voice cracked, as brittle as the rock around him. He dug his nails into the little handhold he had, and his heart throbbed painfully in his chest as he felt pieces of dirt and stone come loose beneath his fingertips. “Just . . . just hold . . .”

He wasn’t sure whether he was speaking to Lizardon or the little sliver of rock that was the only barrier between him and death, but he also knew it didn’t matter as he cast his eyes along the wall for something else to grab onto. He could try getting onto the failed foothold again, but he didn’t think he could get good enough balance on it for long enough to find a proper handhold. If anything, he would just fall again, and this time there was no guarantee that he---

His fingers slipped, and as he tightened his grip with his other hand to make sure he wouldn’t fall, the weak little piece of rock crumbled beneath them.

Alan was too taken by the sudden drop to scream, but Lizardon wasn’t. His scream echoed against the canyon walls and brought Alan’s attention up instead of back at the wall, and what he saw when he turned his eyes skyward was enough to rip a scream of his own from his throat.

“LIZARDON!”

Lizardon had jumped. He had jumped and was diving, his claws outstretched toward Alan even though there was nothing, nothing he could do, because as a charmeleon he didn’t have wings, couldn’t fly, and they were both going to die, both going to die because Alan was careless, unprepared, stupid---

Alan scrambled at his pocket, fumbling for Lizardon’s pokéball, because maybe, maybe if he recalled him then the fall wouldn’t kill him, maybe he would live---

A brilliant light suddenly flashed through the canyon.

Despite his rapid descent toward the bottom, time seemed to freeze. Alan watched, too transfixed to be afraid, as Lizardon’s form shifted and changed---as great wings sprouted from his back and his scales washed from deep red to vivid orange. Two horns crested Lizardon’s head now instead of just the one, and the flame that tipped his tail blazed more furiously than ever.

Charizard.

He had evolved into charizard.

Realistically, time had never frozen, but the second that realization snapped in Alan’s mind, time felt like it snapped back into place as well. Lizardon gave three strong beats of his new wings to propel him faster toward the bottom, his weight carrying him the rest of the way. Feeling dazed, Alan lifted both of his arms up as Lizardon reached down. It only took another second for Lizardon to reach him. Lizardon’s arms snapped around Alan in a tight embrace, holding him close as Alan wrapped his own arms around Lizardon’s neck, and in another few powerful beats of his wings Lizardon pushed his flight trajectory horizontal and then vertical, carrying them both up to the top of the canyon. He didn’t release Alan until he had landed safely back on the plateau, yet when he did and Alan’s feet hit solid ground, Alan still felt himself shaking all over.

“I can’t . . . believe it,” he said, and he spun back around to face Lizardon---Lizardon, whom he now had to look up at in order to meet his eyes, whose tail was now so large it looked like it could easily uproot a tree (at least partially) if he gave it a good smack. “You . . . you evolved. You evolved, Lizardon, you evolved . . .” He blinked, and if he had felt breathless before, it was nothing compared to how he felt now as a new realization ignited in his mind. “. . . to save me?”

Lizardon crooned an affirmation, and bumped his snout against Alan’s forehead in a quick kiss. Alan huffed a laugh, dizzy less from the sudden fall and more from the exhilaration of everything that had just happened, and placed both of his hands on either side of Lizardon’s head so that he could tug him down to eye level.

“Thank you,” he said. “You’re the best partner I could ever ask for, you know that?”

Lizardon snorted as if to say ‘like you have to ask,’ and his hot breath ruffled Alan’s hair. Alan laughed again, and that brought a reptilian smile to Lizardon’s own lips as he bumped his head into the crook of Alan’s neck in an unspoken request for a better hug.