#“What do they know anyways?” | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lurafita · 10 months ago

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CEO!Magnus and personal chef/bodyguard!Alec

(There is every chance that I have posted this before, I just can't remember. I tried to search through my archive, but.... there is a lot of posts there, did you know? 🤣😂 Anyway, in case I'm making you read this twice, sorry. 😅)

Magnus being like this really big shot CEO who has meetings 24/7 and charity events and social appearances and all that other busy stuff going on. So he gets a personal chef to keep an eye on his nutrition. And Alec is ruthless when it comes to making sure Magnus eats healthy. Magnus: "You know I love your cooking, Darling, but how about a good old fashioned fast food break?" Alec: "All that grease is bad for you. Eat your carrots. You look pale. How much sleep did you get last night?" Magnus, innocently: "Enough?" Alec: "Unlikely. No more caffeine for you today."

Magnus trying to sneak all kinds of unheathy Snacks, and Alec foiling him at every turn. Magnus had an energy drink hidden away in his desk, but as he opens the drawer, there is a bottle of water with a note attatched with "stay hydrated".

Alec even convinced the close by Cafe to not serve Magnus anything with Caffeine, after Magnus' last doctors appointment showed high blood pressure.

Maybe Alec is some kind of ex-agent or ex-military, who got into cooking for an undercover op, but really enjoyed it and wanted to pursue it further when he quite the force.

When one of Alec’s old colluegues comes visiting him, Alec is crouching behind the entertainment system to find Magnus' latest snack hidey-hole. Alec: "He gets more creative every time. Some of the drug dealers we busted could have learned from him."

Bet you Magnus is the type of CEO who has a loyal Twitter following and he tweets about everything Alec cooks for him (and the things he doesn't let him eat.) The Internet already ships them.

Possible tweet: The_Magnificent_Bane: Thank you for the suggestion @randomfollower, but unfortunately Alexander didn’t go for the argument that carrot cake counts as a vegetable.

Why am I know picturing a fight in the kitchen where Alec uses kitchen utensils and food to knock out people who have come to kidnap Magnus

Imagine someone broke into Magnus' place, and the police are called and as they arrive Magnus is like: "Thank you for coming. My chef has already apprehended and restrained the perpetrators, and is waiting for you to take them off his hands in the living room." Police: "... Your cook apprehended them?" Magnus: "Yes. Sadly, the confrontation did not result in the death of that cursed celery he bought earlier."

Magnus: "Tomatoes can't be trusted, my darling. Are they a fruit? Are they a vegetable? No one knows." Alec: "They are fruits." Magnus: "That's what they want you to believe."

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guiiay · 2 months ago

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jinx and isha visit a walmart

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pangur-and-grim · 2 months ago

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one thing that took me embarrassingly long to learn is "sometimes when people say things, they will not be true."

I used to tell people about this revelation and they'd be like yeah.....duh.....but like, why wouldn't my base assumption be that you're communicating to me in a straightforward manner. anyway, I get scammed a lot.

#example: a 'friend' in middle school told me I should ask a guy out. she said 'he'll totally say yes'.#he did not. which was the obvious outcome #but it took me years to realize that she'd said that hoping to fuel some drama for her own entertainment.#ANOTHER EXAMPLE #a guy in college approached me saying that he'd been seeing me around campus but was always too shy to talk to me #and that he really wanted to get to know me #so I was like wow 🥺 romance 🥺 and hopped into bed with him #and afterward I was like what do you wanna do 😊 should we see a movie 😊 should we go out 😊#and he was like nope. byeeee.#and I realized I got bamboozled into sex #total shocked pikachu face #I'm still not the best at this tbh. I'm like 'why would this person lie to me. lying is bad'.#anyway this is why I not looking forward to entering the dating world again #DONT BAMBOOZLE ME I'M GULLIBLE

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monkesupreme · 2 months ago

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ref

a satisfactory answer for Selina

#bruce wayne #batman #selina kyle #catwoman #batcat #bruce #selina #mine #my art #i wanted to make the bat ears fold back SO badly but it looked too odd . unfortunately #wanted to put the collar ON HIM too but also it looked too out of place. SAD .#oh my GOD i forgot i could add IDs to these pictures now !!!#just finished adding that #i will see if i can do that for the other images i posted on this blog #anyway #thats her pookie bear.... her discord kitten...#who said that #this is what batcat is . to me . not that deep #just playful. selina gets to cause a little mischief whenever she wants and bruce gets be ouppy when he wants #thats just what the file names are LOL ouppy 1 2 and 3 #in another post i may feel inclined to expand on it instead of in these tags #just know that there are very few people he would let restrain him and she is one of them. they just vibe like that.#younger bruce DOES follow her like a little duckling for these kinds of things. older bruce is too miserable to do fwb w anyone anymore #so they just enjoy each others company and reminiscence #mm. alot of tags for a shitpost.

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hinamie · 5 months ago

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10 years later

#my art #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk fanart #jujutsu kaisen fanart #yuji itadori #fushiguro megumi #nobara kugisaki #itafushi #itafushikugi #jjk spoilers #jjk manga spoilers #least heterosexual group photo ive ever drawn tbh #u have the kings of subtle pda and their judgy lesbian third wheel #this does remind me a lot of the kind of art i used to do jhgdjghdfj #specifically that one furuba main trio piece i did forever ago. same vibe better art #anyway......i tried my best........ i tried so hard #i do not know how old they look . the goal was 25/26 but atp i've gaslit myself into thinking they look the same #especially megumi im so . throws hands in the air in defeat #but idk what else i can do cries at least i like it??? i think???????#i don't know!!! if they look younger than 25 whatever!!!!!!!!#why is it so hard fr me to make chars look older im gna slam my head against the door #maybe its fine. idc <- (lie)#in other news itfs are married fight me abt it . yuuji rockin the right hand ring fr Lack Of Finger reasons #also i am Eating nobara's fit . she might also look a bit younger than intended the more i look at her gDI why cant i have nice things #new hairstyle carrying tbh. i think she would a. grow it out and b. switch the side she parts it on to make Seeing easier #god just take it all tht really matters 2 me is low pony nobara and Rings On Fingers itfs #i did my time in yoi i know how to make wedding bands Work

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inkskinned · 4 months ago

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this is just my opinion but i think any good media needs obsession behind it. it needs passion, the kind of passion that's no longer "gentle scented candle" and is now "oh shit the house caught on fire". it needs a creator that's biting the floorboards and gnawing the story off their skin. creators are supposed to be wild animals. they are supposed to want to tell a story with the ferocity of eating a good stone fruit while standing over the sink. the same protective, strange instinct as being 7 and making mud potions in pink teacups: you gotta get weird with it.

good media needs unhinged, googling-at-midnight kind of energy. it needs "what kind of seams are invented on this planet" energy and "im just gonna trust the audience to roll with me about this" energy. it needs one person (at least) screaming into the void with so much drive and energy that it forces the story to be real.

sometimes people are baffled when fanfic has some stunning jaw-dropping tattoo-it-on-you lines. and i'm like - well, i don't go here, but that makes sense to me. of fucking course people who have this amount of passion are going to create something good. they moved from a place of genuine love and enjoyment.

so yeah, duh! saturday cartoons have banger lines. random street art is sometimes the most precious heart-wrenching shit you've ever seen. someone singing on tiktok ends up creating your next favorite song. youtubers are giving us 5 hours of carefully researched content. all of this is the impossible equation to latestage capitalism. like, you can't force something to be good. AI cannot make it good. no amount of focus-group testing or market research. what makes a story worth listening to is that someone cares so much about telling it - through dance, art, music, whatever it takes - that they are just a little unhinged about it.

one time my friend told me he stayed up all night researching how many ways there are to peel an orange. he wrote me a poem that made me cry on public transportation. the love came through it like pith, you know? the words all came apart in my hands. it tasted like breakfast.

#warm up #writeblr #actually this is because again i don't go here #i don't read/write fanfic but i have nothing but respect for my troops #but i also have never played minecraft. im sorry. please ask me any question about pokemon tho i love that shit #anyway #out of some banal and thoughtless curiosity i watched the minecraft movie trailer #and again i know nothing about minecraft. i am aware im in an endangered population #but im watching this going: this is so fucking.... BAD #there is NO LOVE in it!#like if someone who has NO history in minecraft watches that and is like - ohhh this is soulless #WHO IS THE AUDIENCE????#ppl who love minecraft are gonna hate it!!!#at some point it's the ''mean girls musical movie'' problem --#some people will always hate the premise of what you're doing and some people will love it #make it for the ppl who love it #and usually that somewhat convinces the haters to like. chill enough to TRY it . bc it IS good #but when you try to make it for the haters..... nobody likes it. it doesn't have passion. energy. footwork #which is a small way of saying a big thing: if you love something. fucking make it and assume someone will love it too.#i love u . be brave . be bold. be in boston and come to my reading #where i wrote a really weird fucked up little book.#love u love u love u etc

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novelconcepts · 9 months ago

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I Saw the TV Glow is such a uniquely, devastatingly queer story. Two queer kids trapped in suburbia. Both of them sensing something isn’t quite right with their lives. Both of them knowing that wrongness could kill them. One of them getting out, trying on new names, new places, new ways of being. Trying to claw her way to fully understanding herself, trying to grasp the true reality of her existence. Succeeding. Going back to help the other, to try so desperately to rescue an old friend, to show the path forward. Being called crazy. Because, to someone who hasn’t gotten out, even trying seems crazy. Feels crazy. Looks, on the surface, like dying.

And to have that other queer kid be so terrified of the internal revolution that is accepting himself that he inadvertently stays buried. Stays in a situation that will suffocate him. Choke the life out of him. Choke the joy out of him. Have him so terrified of possibly being crazy that he, instead, lives with a repression so extreme, it quite literally is killing him. And still, still, he apologizes for it. Apologizes over and over and over, to people who don’t see him. Who never have. Who never will. Because it’s better than being crazy. Because it’s safer than digging his way out. Killing the image everyone sees to rise again as something free and true and authentic. My god. My god, this movie. It shattered me.

#i saw the tv glow #I saw the tv glow spoilers #it is SUCH a queer story #the disassociation. the hiding in fiction to feel alive.#the horror of watching time tick by and knowing you’re not who you’re meant to be #the unique paralysis of staying put in hell because it’s safer than what might be over the horizon #the tragedy of trying to help someone who isn’t ready to be helped #god it’s so much. god. rarely do I walk out of a film and just stare soundlessly into space #anyway. please see this movie. although I sort of hope if you’re reading this post it’s cuz you already have #eta: I used he because the main character never quite vocalizes another pronoun #but this is SUCH a trans story. suuuuch a trans story. it is not even a little subtle #it’s so good and so so painful

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egophiliac · 8 months ago

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it's never the last time.

I was trying to justify to myself having Leona know how to use a waffle maker, and. well. sometimes you just gotta go where the flow takes you.

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #tamashina mina #(just because of kifaji)#kifaji: it's four o' clock in the morning why on earth are you making waffles #leona: because i've lost control of my life #anyway i'm trying to be less lazy about my spot-blacking #(because obviously what leona making waffles for a toddler needs is that noir touch)#i know i can still be doing a lot more with it...but it's a start :')

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 1 year ago

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the fact that shakespeare was a playwright is sometimes so funny to me. just the concept of the "greatest writer of the English language" being a random 450-year-old entertainer, a 16th cent pop cultural sensation (thanks in large part to puns & dirty jokes & verbiage & a long-running appeal to commoners). and his work was made to be watched not read, but in the classroom teachers just hand us his scripts and say "that's literature"

just...imagine it's 2450 A.D. and English Lit students are regularly going into 100k debt writing postdoc theses on The Simpsons screenplays. the original animation hasn't even been preserved, it's literally just scripts and the occasional SDH subtitles.txt. they've been republished more times than the Bible

#due to the Great Data Decay academics write viciously argumentative articles on which episodes aired in what order #at conferences professors have known to engage in physically violent altercations whilst debating the air date number of household viewers #90% of the couch gags have been lost and there is a billion dollar trade in counterfeit “lost copies”#serious note: i'll be honest i always assumed it was english imperialism that made shakespeare so inescapable in the 19th/20th cent #like his writing should have become obscure at the same level of his contemporaries #but british imperialists needed an ENGLISH LANGUAGE (and BRITISH) writer to venerate #and shakespeare wrote so many damn things that there was a humongous body of work just sitting there waiting to be culturally exploited...#i know it didn't happen like this but i imagine a English Parliament House Committee Member For The Education Of The Masses or something #cartoonishly stumbling over a dusty cobwebbed crate labelled the Complete Works of Shakespeare #and going 'Eureka! this shall make excellent propoganda for fabricating a national identity in a time of great social unrest.#it will be a cornerstone of our elitist educational institutions for centuries to come! long live our decaying empire!'#'what good fortune that this used to be accessible and entertaining to mainstream illiterate audience members...#..but now we can strip that away and make it a difficult & alienating foundation of a Classical Education! just like the latin language :)'#anyway maybe there's no such thing as the 'greatest writer of x language' in ANY language?#maybe there are just different styles and yes levels of expertise and skill but also a high degree of subjectivity #and variance in the way that we as individuals and members of different cultures/time periods experience any work of media #and that's okay! and should be acknowledged!!! and allow us to give ourselves permission to broaden our horizons #and explore the stories of marginalized/underappreciated creators #instead of worshiping the List of Top 10 Best (aka Most Famous) Whatevers Of All Time/A Certain Time Period #anyways things are famous for a reason and that reason has little to do with innate “value”#and much more to do with how it plays into the interests of powerful institutions motivated to influence our shared cultural narratives #so i'm not saying 'stop teaching shakespeare'. but like...maybe classrooms should stop using it as busy work that (by accident or designs)#happens to alienate a large number of students who could otherwise be engaging critically with works that feel more relevant to their world #(by merit of not being 4 centuries old or lacking necessary historical context or requiring untaught translation skills)#and yeah...MAYBE our educational institutions could spend less time/money on shakespeare critical analysis and more on...#...any of thousands of underfunded areas of literary research i literally (pun!) don't know where to begin #oh and p.s. the modern publishing world is in shambles and it would be neat if schoolwork could include modern works?#beautiful complicated socially relevant works of literature are published every year. it's not just the 'classics' that have value #and actually modern publications are probably an easier way for students to learn the basics. since lesson plans don't have to include the #important historical/cultural context many teens need for 20+ year old media (which is older than their entire lived experience fyi)

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spitblaze · 8 months ago

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I guess Chilchuck has brought us right back to 'adults who are short are child-coded and if you like them you're a pedophile' discourse huh

#spitblaze says things #anyway.#1) please google 'halfling'#2) THERE ARE ADULTS WHO ARE VERY SHORT. DID YOU KNOW THAT. WERE YOU AWARE #3) THERE ARE ALSO ADULTS WHO HAVE CHILDLIKE FACES. DID YOU KNOW *THAT*#4) IF YOU THINK THE ONLY REASON A MAN COULD LOOK LIKE THAT IS BECAUSE THEY ARE TRANS MEN IM GOING TO KILL YOU #5) jesus christ will you just read/watch dungeon meshi and understand that the entire conceit of his character and of half-foots in general #is that its fucked up to treat people as children or subhuman because they do not 'look' like what you expect a cisgender adult to look lik #anyway if i see one more person call Chilchuck 'has gray streaks and an ex wife and three adult daughters' Tims a sh*ta #im gonna start smashing things #doin numbers

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musubiki · 5 months ago

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my favorite fields of mistria boys 🥰

#fom #fields of mistria #march #balor #art #fanart #not much to tag tbh #i do like march too but balor still takes the cake for me #i know i said that other one was my last fanart but i wanted to doodle march he looks easy to draw #and then balor happened too i cant help it #i just restarted the game im taking it slower this time #i really wish the dragonguard heist plan didnt fall through #cuz i wouldve loved to have isa just go try and grab balors keys #hehe #anyway march is canonically jacked right #not as much as his brother but he has the arms right #appearently balors eyes are brown but i have no idea what color marchs eyes are supposed to be #they just look black #love that the children are always on about balor being so mysterious #so real let me join the dragonguards #the amazing thing to me about balor is that i just did not give a shit about him in the promo art up until i met him in-game #like i saw him in the promos and was like cool whatever ill probably go for march...until i actually met him

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swiggity-swexual-i-am-asexual · 4 months ago

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We all know the semi-canonical ‘all the Robins know to hide/duck inside of Batman’s cape, even as adults’ thing.

We also know that Danny ‘is LITERALLY a ghost’ Fenton sucks at remembering his own intangibility while ALSO forgetting to look ahead of him.

All I’m saying is, Danny Fenton (or Phantom, if you’d really like) would absolutely SLAM into Batman on accident while running on roof tops and Bruce ‘Brooding Instinct’ Wayne doesn’t even think twice about letting the kid hide and scanning around for danger before there’s a record scratch of ‘wait who tf is this?’ kicks in.