#and then hide it again as we left

[bri-cheeses]

personally I think that all queer books should have a “special edition” with a subtle cover (and a code name if it’s necessary) for all of the people in homophobic areas

[lavampira]

(COUNT)DOWN TO DAWNTRAIL — day four: shadowbringers

atlas my old friend I found some people want to lend a hand carrying the weight of the world

[bleaksqueak]

I've put a decidedly Halloween twist on my desk's right hand side, considering that the stores are putting all their pumpkins out. Bog Witch to Halloween Party City mode: Engage! (The shaky hand is a feature, not a bug.)

[ghosttotheparty]

also on ao3

(cw: tics, bullying)

Eddie started shivering in seventh grade.

Even when it was hot, even when he was sweating and desperately wanted a non-rattly fan or a better air conditioner. They weren't normal shivers. He wasn't cold. But his shoulders would jerk or shake, or he would tremble for a second, and he didn't know what else it could have been. Others didn't question it for a while, because it started in October. Everyone was shivering. But by March, it hadn't stopped, and he had to explain himself when people gave him questioning looks or asked if he was okay. (Back when people cared.)

'S just a shiver, I'm fine.

He wasn't fine. It got worse over time. He got used to it, to the weird feeling that took over his body for a few seconds, got used to telling people he was cold, joking that he must be low on vitamins or iron, joking that in the future, someone is walking over his grave. But other people didn't get used to it. They thought he was weird. That was fine with him. Wayne realised something was wrong before Eddie started the tenth grade, because he wasn't just shivering anymore. His whole body was jerking sharply, suddenly, his shoulders drawing up, fists clenching. Eddie didn't question it. Wayne did.

It wasn't normal. But nothing about Eddie was normal. Wayne took him to see a doctor. The doctor make him do things, walk in a line, hold his arms out and push the doctor's hands away as hard as he could, follow a flashlight with his eyes without moving his head. It was all weird. It kind of scared Eddie. The doctor kept writing things in a notebook, and Eddie couldn't tell if he was doing well or not. But Wayne was there, watching and listening intently.

The doctor said he had tics. It sounded funny to Eddie, but then it wasn't funny, because the doctor didn't give him anything for it. He just said there wasn't anything really wrong with him. His brain just worked a little differently. (Which Eddie was already used to hearing.) That his tics could get better or go away as he got older, or they could get worse.

They got worse.

By the end of that summer, his arms were moving, flying over his head suddenly, randomly, and his head was jerking back so sharply it hurt. Wayne was worried about him getting whiplash. Eddie was worried about going to school.

That year, he became the freak.

At first, he tried to explain it to people. The movements were involuntary, he couldn't control them. Wayne contacted all his teachers, who mostly got it, but still preferred to make him sit in the hallway so he didn't distract the class. But the other students thought he was possessed, faking it for attention, and everything in between. They'd throw things at him, and complain to the teachers that he was distracting even when he wasn't moving, just to get him out of the room. They would mimic him, make fun of him, and by September, he learned that the tics get worse when he's upset. He could hear them all snickering and giggling as he shoved his hands under his legs and tucked his chin to his chest or held his shirt over his face, as he held his limbs tense so they wouldn't move, so tense he was exhausted and sore all the time, and then he'd go home and cry because he couldn't control his own body.

He'd have to sit on the sofa so when his head threw itself back, it would hit the back of the sofa instead of the wall, and Wayne would just wait, watching with that fucking sadness in his eyes that made Eddie ache even more. When it finally stopped, sometimes after a few minutes, sometimes after an hour or two, he was so exhausted he'd fall asleep right there on the sofa. He couldn't do his homework. His grades dropped even more, but he managed to keep himself afloat. He did the best he could, doing his homework early in the morning before school or in detention. (Some of his teachers thought he was faking. Mr Peterson was in charge of detention, and he was nice. Considerate. Eddie counted him as one of his few blessings.)

His tics got worse.

In December of his junior year, he started making noises. Short screams, grunts, quiet vocalizations. It scared him. He didn't want to go back to school, but he did. The laughter around him got louder, and he was sent out to the hallways more. He started skipping classes. He knew he'd be forced to leave anyway. So he'd sit in the boys' room, on top of a lidded toiler, his feet up on the stall door, and he'd leave cigarette burns on the walls.

Not everyone was awful. Some kids were just curious about him, asked why he acted the way he did, and he did his best to calmly explain it all. I can't help it, actually. It's just my brain works different. That turned into Eddie's brain's fucked. It's broken. He's a fucking--

So he used it. Eddie the Freak. Attention-seeking, desperate for people to notice him. So he started making devil horns, yelling from tabletops, making himself The Freak so no one could use it against him.

No one, not even Wayne, saw him cry at night, because the attention he got was never the attention he wanted. Because he was tired. So fucking tired. His limbs were sore and his voice was rough, and his neck hurt, and he was sick of being laughed at. But that was all he got.

He kept counting his blessings. Mr Peterson, who never minded Eddie's noises or the way his fists would bang against the table loudly in the silent room, who scolded the other detention-goers when they tried to tease. The Hellfire guys, who got used to his tics fairly quickly, and knew when to pause whatever they were doing if Eddie couldn't hear them over a scream or was distracted by his own body. That nice girl, Chrissy Cunningham, who would slip notes from the classes he missed or skipped into his locker or backpack with sweet smiles. (If Eddie wasn't gay, he would have fallen in love with her.) The other few students that ignored him when his tics acted up, just glancing and moving on. Wayne, bless his soul, who would come to the school to confront Eddie's teachers and complain to the principal about Eddie being mistreated by the staff.

And, oddly enough, Steve Harrington.

Eddie never saw it coming. It was a particularly bad day. He was at his locker, trying to line his books up, but a tic threw his hands up, and some books fell from his locker to the floor. He watched helplessly as papers scattered across the floor, as most students stepped around them, ignoring them, as some jocks trampled over them, over Chrissy's neat handwriting, his fists clenched at his sides. When they passed, he kneeled, picking up the books, and when he looked up, Steve Harrington was kneeling too, gathering the crumpled papers and carefully straightening them out.

He gave them to Eddie with a smile, and Eddie thought he might be dying, in some weird, upside-down dimension where Steve Harrington smiles at Eddie Munson. Eddie took them hesitantly, said thank you, and then he hit him.

He was mortified, almost dropping the papers again, jumping back as his whole body flushed with heat, staring at Steve's shoulder where his hand had just landed heavily, and he burst with a Fuck, I'm so sorry, oh my god--

But Steve had just laughed. Amazingly, it was a kind laugh, with sparkling eyes, and soft cheeks, and he said It's okay.

And then he was gone. Down the hall, after his friends, and Eddie realised his hands were trembling.

Steve kept smiling at him. Even when his friends were making fun of Eddie's Satanic cult, and of the way he couldn't keep still, and of his sad, broken brain. Even when Eddie's brain made him flip Steve off across the cafeteria, Steve saw how Eddie pulled his hand down sharply, and Steve just... laughed. Eddie fell in love with his laugh. It was kind, and it made Eddie feel better, even when he wanted to cry.

Steve graduated the next year. But he didn't leave Eddie alone. Eddie couldn't stop thinking about him, and his kind laugh, and his pretty eyes, and then the sheep Eddie adopted told him all about how cool and brave Steve was, and Eddie fell harder without even seeing him.

The world went to shit. But Eddie got to see Steve again.

Steve was still kind, even though the world was ending, and even during serious discussions, plan-making, how-to-save-the-world conversations, Eddie's tics kept going. His body jerked and shivered, and his head threw back, and his fists hit his own chest and shoulders, and he had to sit down. And Eddie found out that there are more kind people than he thought. When his tics slowed, Nancy wordlessly got him an ice pack to hold to his chest, and when he flung it across the room, Robin caught it with a casual oops, and brought it back to him. No one questioned him, or stared, or laughed, even though he knew how annoying he was.

When he woke up in the hospital, he hurt so badly he couldn't move. He just cried. Steve sat by his bed and held onto his hand. He was crying too. When Eddie stopped crying, Steve carefully slid his rings, clean of blood, onto his fingers.

This one goes here, right?

Yeah.

On the second day, his brain didn't care that he hurt. As Steve was telling him about what was going on with the others (Max was staying with the Sinclairs, Dustin's leg was almost healed), Eddie's hand smacked him across the face sharply, the sting of his rings bringing tears to his eyes before he even processed what happened. Steve wordlessly crawled onto the bed, carefully pulled Eddie against himself, and set a pillow over Eddie's lap for when his fists started hitting his legs. He'd just murmured those words, the first words he'd said to Eddie years ago.

It's okay. It's okay.

And he waited until Eddie's body fell lax against him before he carefully found Eddie's hand, laced their fingers, and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

Eddie was released from the hospital a few weeks later. He stayed in the Wheelers' basement for a few days until Steve's parents left town, for good this time, and then he moved into the Harrington house.

He likes it there. Steve is still kind. Always. He lets Eddie lay his head in his lap when his body hurts or won't stop moving, and he drags his fingers through his hair or holds a joint to his lips for him, and he smiles. (Eddie would go through the end of the world all over again for that smile.) When Eddie's head hits the wall while they're in the waiting room of the hospital for a checkup, Steve just shifts to face him and holds a hand up to the back of his head so his hand hits the wall instead, saying quietly that Eddie isn't allowed to beat his record number of concussions. He drives Eddie to Wayne's even though Eddie doesn't tic when he drives except for a few facial or vocal ones.

When Eddie whistles one night, Steve just smiles at him and says Was that a tic or are you hitting on me? and Eddie freezes, his face burning. Which would you prefer, pretty boy?

Steve kisses him.

And then Steve starts holding his hand even when he isn't having tics, even when they're with the Party. Eddie moves into Steve's room. (They always slept better when they accidentally fell asleep on the sofa together anyway.) Steve holds him when his tics are bad, and Eddie holds him during his migraines, pressing kisses as softly as he can to his forehead and his temples. Steve takes his hand when it moves to hit Eddie's face or chest. Eddie stands steady and holds Steve's hand to himself when he gets dizzy. Steve keeps ready-made ice packs in the freezer to hold to Eddie's chest and legs when they bruise from his fists. Eddie keeps his handwriting as neat as possible when he writes notes in case Steve forgets anything. When they wake up at night, breathless and sweaty and crying, the other is there, arms open, lips waiting.

One night Eddie says very softly, You know, they used to say my brain was broken.

Steve just says, Mine too.

[sweetandglovelyart]

It’s a little bit late for Valentine’s Day but here’s the reveal of my cursed Kirby crack ship as promised: it’s Dyna Blade/Captain Vul and I envision their relationship dynamic as being like Donkey and Dragon’s relationship dynamic in the Shrek movies.

[adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy]

home from work

[martianbugsbunny]

A Drama In Two Parts

So the context is, my sis and I have been griping to each other about the lack of Zeb and the potential of Kalluzeb to either be canonized or be massively no-homo'd in the Ahsoka show and this is the product of that enjoy

[notmoreflippingelves]

I'm biased as heck and I'm gonna go with one of my faves - how about 18, 22 and 25 for Francisco from EoA and a freebie question - thoughts on his relationship with Esteban pre and post series?

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

It gets much less screen time/focus than his relationship with the other characters, but Francisco's relationship with Isabel is very underrated and one of my favorites to watch. It's especially poignant and striking as Francisco is the oldest of the main characters, and Isabel is the youngest--but there is still so much understanding and affection between them. And the two of them have such similar personalities.

I feel like they are probably the most alike of all the Flores family members. Both are quieter and relatively even tempered (or at least compared to the rest of the family who are much more talkative and hot-headed), sensitive, creative/artistic. I'd also say that they are the two "wisest" members of the family and the most open-minded. (Though of course, they do have their very stubborn moments as well!)

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to this character? Something you don't like?

Honestly, I don't think I've read a ton of Francisco fic, but not really sure that there's a ton out there. But I do enjoy the little I see of him as a background character in other fics. In terms of an aspect that I like (and would love to see more of), I really enjoy seeing focus on his relationships with Isabel and Esteban. Much of the Francisco content that we see in the show itself is understandably focused on his relationships with Luisa and Elena, so it's always nice to see fanwork delve deeper into his dynamics with the other members of his family. I've already talked a bit about his relationship with Isabel and I will talk more in another question about his relationship with Esteban. But yeah, these are really rich, underrated dynamics that have so much wonderful potential to be explored.

As for something I don't like, I read a fic once where Francisco died the day after "Coronation Day," and he sort of knew that it was going to be his last day, which gave him a bit of an extra vitality on the day itself. And just...it made me too sad. Plus, like Esteban was just finally reintegrated into the family again, Elena just ascended the throne. There's so much going on in Francisco's life at the end of the series that he should be there for. Yeah, I get that he's older and he might not be in the best of health (especially given his sweet tooth). But no, in my mind, all the characters (except Shuriki, lol) are functionally immortal for the foreseeable future.

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

I liked Francisco reasonably well from the start, and I like him even better now. I find him a nice, calming presence for the Flores family. He gets a long reasonably well with everyone and is able to provide some very sweet moments as well as a little bit of humor.

26. FREEBIE QUESTION!!-- thoughts on his relationship with Esteban pre and post series?

While we really don't get to see all that much of it, I feel that Francisco's relationship with Esteban was very, very good-- pre-series, during the main timeline of the show, and post-series alike. In fact, I feel like I would go so far as to say that it's probably one of (if not THE) most positive relationship in Esteban's life. Esteban was around 8-9, when he was orphaned, so he likely remembers very little about his actual father. Instead, Francisco was the fatherly presence guiding Esteban through the struggles of adolescence.

He would've been the one who taught Esteban everything he knows about being a man. He would have been the one to teach him how to tie his cravat and how to shave. (My headcanon is that adult!Esteban decided to grow out his beard and mustache during the Dark Times specifically as a way of honoring his absent abuelo who has his own impressive facial hair). He was probably also the one to teach Esteban how to play the guitar and the one we see in "Secret of Avalor" may even have been a gift from him. (Shame that Shuriki probably had it destroyed at the end of the scene).

And the little hints that we see of their relationship in the main series suggest that the relationship continues to be strong. During Esteban's trial, Francisco is the only one to vote in his favor. His line about judging Esteban not for the mistakes of his past but the man he has become in the present--suggest that in Francisco's view, Esteban has become a man that he is proud of and one that is already worthy of forgiveness/a second chance. As a lonely, love-starved, fatherless boy, Esteban probably worshipped Francisco when he was a child, and so to hear that --even knowing Esteban's greatest mistake--Francisco is still proud of what he's become must have been so validating for Esteban as an adult. That's all he's ever wanted: to be a great man, a true son of Avalor just like his abuelo. Too bad Luisa then totally crushes Esteban's heart immediately afterwards.

I am also very struck by the throne room scene with Francisco, Luisa, and Cahu in "Coronation Day." While Luisa has the flashier role in the scene and the more powerful lines, I'd argue that Francisco is actually the one who ultimately inspires Esteban's decision to sacrifice himself for Elena.

Esteban watches Francisco call for a sword to defend Luisa from Cahu, hears Francisco ask him "why are you doing this, Esteban?" because Francisco still cares enough about him to want to understand. Esteban knows that Francisco is the kind of man that he himself has always wanted to be, the man that he should be. The man that maybe he still could be if only he had just one more chance. And then he does get that chance, and he's finally able to do exactly what Francisco would do--sacrifice himself to save his family.

I also have a lot of feelings about how the last interaction we see between the two of them on the show is at the end of Esteban's sacrifice-redemption-and-resurrection scene. We see Francisco place a hand on Esteban's shoulder as the scene fades to black.

[orchideae]

1) Opens up drafts with my head empty, ready to be flooded, not knowing where I'll go. 2) 30 seconds later: Okay but I will go feral any day of my life over Perilous Trail, and the fierce dichotomy of Xiao and Yelan. While they're far from being 'the same', they both view themselves as soldiers in one way or another (it's a very difficult word to use for Yelan, so I'm using it very liberally and very loosely), they have both suffered losses on the 'battlefield' and carry the burden thereof in their own ways. And yet they stand so firmly in opposition throughout the entirety of that questline up until the very end of the 'the end of the line' conclusion of the quest. Yes, I know that she offers him her gratitude in its aftermath and it is genuine, but she still never agrees with him and the decision that he made moments earlier. It simply 'worked out' because of Zhongli's interference, he's the only reason it worked out. And it's because of that, that she doesn't give him a hell of a hard time (obviously she can't go down there, but imagine the inner frustration of severe extents; when you condemn someone who you can't even see anymore). In the same way that she would do to anyone who would sacrifice themselves for others, but in this case, I think it's 'beautiful' that it's to Xiao; the one who seems most adamant to do so (which honestly, fits into the contract that the Yakshas chose to sign with Morax; 'the ultimate sacrifice' to protect for Liyue; 'for Liyue', and Liyue has always centered itself around its people), the one who everyone reveres (and so does she, as she notes in her voiceline, 'if I ever have the honor to fight alongside') and respects for good reason, she stands against him, because in that moment, regardless of his status, he makes a call that she considers wrong. And he doesn't even... fight her on it very fiercely, and that's what actually hurts me the most, it's as if the following line hit the nail directly on the head?

"Besides, if you were really so determined to end it all, you wouldn't have given us the opportunity to share our opinions."

[rosaacicularis]

which was more culturally significant, the renaissance or hermitgang

[the--days]

so it's like this.

you're young and you're scared and you're trapped in the feywild (happens to the best of us) with the love of your life. You're a half-elf and she's a fullblooded elf but you don't think about it very much because you're barely surviving day to day. And you get offered a deal to get yourself home again, and you take it. And the price of your freedom is that you leave her still trapped there, alone.

And then five years pass. And you age a century in that time, and you grow, and you change, and you find her again, and you're still in love, and you meet people, and you lose people, and you love them too, and you learn, and you start wanting a future again, and caring again, taking care of yourself, taking care of other people--

and after all of that, at the end of things, you find out the man responsible for all of the misery in your short, sad life has cast a spell which gives him complete control and ownership of you- mind, body, and soul (again. this happens to the best of us). And you are given the choice to stay under his thrall, and live a thousand years-- or to age and die, like humans do, and to be free of him.

And the love of your life is there, and you're married now, and she's still a full blooded elf, and you're still a half-elf, and you think about what that means a lot more than you used to.

And still, after everything you've learned-- you choose your freedom. You choose leaving her behind.

[afkintheark]

Was doing a short meat run and found an orphaned gigantoraptor. It wouldn't let me claim it of course but Kel brought Storm over and got her that way. She is gorgeous and a lot better than our current pair, I'm going to bring Rusty over and breed them until I can get a clone of her. \o/

Spent the majority of today raising babies, Kel had all of hers out but I had enough space to put the yutis out. We're raising the male for a breeder so he's not getting imprinted, but our Battle Shout got doted on until we got bored. XD

I finally got to drag Kel into the ocean. We got another pair of artifacts and I showed all my favorite metal spots. There were a ton of mosas out but a 90 was the highest we found so we cleaned them all out, hopefully we'll have better spawns next time we go. Almost got a male anglerfish but he snuck into a group of low-levels and got bit by a deino, so we gave up tranqing him before we killed him. If he doesn't despawn or get himself killed by something else, hopefully we'll find him again.

[iniziare]

Re-tag drop: Yelan

[quietwingsinthesky]

funniest thing about even is that if ten had taken them to a pride parade, because of their whole. Everything. they would have no idea what is being celebrated or why. but they would be so happy to be included

[neobisexual]

had a very intense semi lucid dream last night where i was the daughter/acolyte of an insane cult leader/my dad who performed non consenual surgery on me and molested and raped me. it inspired me to start writing a lil sci fi novella but also to clean out my closet and find my vibrator cuz i was desperate for it after waking up lmfao

[void-tiger]

…I need to stop waiting for you to either apologize or ask for an explanation. Or send your own damn meme. I already know deep down it’s not going to happen. Even though you’ve acted outside my (actually low, negative) expectations before.