#and then he develops a crush on said mechanic who comes to maintenance them and the rest is history

[driftingvoid-155]

AU where William opened a restaurant, a normal diner with breakfast & no singing bears, until one day the local mechanic who’s known for being a bit eccentric shows up like hey ‘can my animatronic band play here?’ and William, completely sleep deprived and running on half a donut, absentmindedly says ‘sure’ and the next day lo and behold there they sit up on a little makeshift stage, and William is trying to remember how they got there but is still too tired to give a single solitary fuck and hey the customers seem to like them, so there they stay

[verdantwyrm]

Do tell about those Mouthwashing headcanons of yours. I'd like to read them.

You have no idea how long i've been waiting for this [rubs my little hands together] this is going to be EXTREMELY LONG and definitely traces of my own little AU which i've dubbed thee... Afterwashing. Its a bit of everyone dies but everyone also lives. sorta. Curly doesn't end up as fucked as he is, Swansea actually manages to hit Jimmy and sliced directly into his shoulder. Swansea actually got the Cryopods working, and just before everything went to shit he was able to convince Anya to take the others into the cryopods. Still ends up dying but his sacrifice will be known forever:

Pre Crash Curly

- 35 Years old, born December 22nd. Full name is Grant Kirk Curly. Australian British.

- Absolutely a gymrat, bit over the top but he has genuinely the best intentions. He's really big on the aftercare of exercising, hydrating, massages, stretches, it's a fine art to him. A ritual, almost.

- Loves cooking but can only make an assortment of five dishes. Spaghetti, Meatloaf, Risotto, Lasagna and he makes a real mean Stir Fry. It's all very simple food, he doesn't need it to be extravagant. Food is a big love language for him, so when he was forced to go on packet diet for space travel, he cried for six hours.

- Even though he's british, he has roots from Australia. You can still kind of hear it sometimes when he uses his Captain Voice. Daisuke and Anya teased him a little about it.

- He was actually promoted against his will. Originally he was an just apart of the maintenance crew on a larger ship called Sleipnir, it was the second largest delivery freighter right behind Arion which had a crew of three hundred and eighty five people. It was an absolute marvel of machinery, built to deliver other machinery and high tech equipment. When that ship was retired, he was forced into a promotion of Captain, since no one wanted to take the Tulpar and he happened to be around at the time and couldn't bring himself to say no.

- He doesn't have a very distinct taste in music. He will just listen to whatever sounds good. When Anya and Swansea found out they immediately forced him to listen to "real" music and then soon they all made a collaborative playlist which now haunts the Tulpar.

- Curly grew up with a very large family, a middle child of sisters and brothers, he often found himself being told he was lucky to come from such a big, warm family. But the truth is, he found himself ignored alot. His older siblings were well out of school and his younger siblings were too little to stand on their own, so he rarely got any attention and he eventually moved out of home at seventeen to move in with Jimmy, who he became friends with because of their shared loneliness.

- Curly actually had a mullet once, but Swansea forced him to cut it. He said it made him look like a "Hippie" and he couldn't stop laughing. Anya says she liked it, and he regrets cutting it because of that.

- He has met Anya previously on a past delivery years ago, they used to sneak away together to smoke or to complain a little about work. Anya was an intern nurse under the head doctor, Maddie, who was very uptight and constantly cranky. When they met on the Tulpar again, that flame was reignited and it soon developed into a hallway crush that never left the hallway.

- Curly actually knew Swansea for the longest, he was one of the other head mechanics on Slepnir, and they got along really well. Curly is glad to have a familiar face on the ship (Besides Jimmy and Anya) that actually greatly impacted his life and helped him steer towards the topic of his career and his future. He never got to do what he wanted thanks to the sudden promotion, but he's grateful for his teachings nonetheless. Curly wanted to repair and build aircraft for a living, back on earth. He still dreams about it, sometimes.

- Loves Snowboarding, hates Skiing. He also really likes surfing but the hot weather doesn't agree with him.

- To me, he's bisexual but genuinely has no clue. If the circumstances are right he'll sleep with a guy and try really hard to not think too hard about it. It's embarrassing to him especially since he hasn't had much experience sexually or romantically, but he won't say no to a cute guy.

- His relationship with Jimmy has been up and down. When they were teens, Jimmy was just angry and lashed out at people. He had alot of paranoia and used it to fuel his own rage, but he always went on about how guilty he felt and how he hated being angry and how it used to tear him up inside about being exactly like his father. Their relationship was very briefly romantic and then sexual, but that ended quickly after Curly got accepted into pilot academy and started seeing Jimmy less and less. Jimmy resents him for this, Curly isn't even aware of it.

Post Crash Curly

- 39 Years old

- He was rescued from the crypod by a passing ship called Embarr, a small crew of fourty people. It was a medical emergency ship sent out to actually retrieve the dead bodies of another ship, and they happened upon ths Tulpar on a detour due to significant asteroid interference. Jimmy, Anya and Daisuke all miraculously survived, Swansea's body was never found.

- Managed to come out of it pretty unscathed with only the left side of his body being the most damage. He still needed amputations, but only on one arm.

- He was in a coma for three months as his body was slowly defrosted and pumped with all the necessary fluids. An autopsy was performed on him originally thinking he was dead. He was not. And they thankfully realized the mistake before it became life threatening and took them all back to earth to receive the best medical care possible.

- Vegetarian. After being forced to eat his own flesh, he can't stomach meat now. It's too upsetting.

- Still enjoys working out, even if its extremely limited. The moment he was allowed to do any physiotherapy or even walking again, he would push himself constantly, even if it hurt. He had subconsciously made exercise as a way to distract himself from the depression and psychological issues he had, so that being no longer an option really worn him down.

- Curly took up a permanent residence in the hospital after waking up. The doctors have urged him to go and live his life, but he struggles to understand why he would even want to. Developed a serious bout of agoraphobia that prevents him from leaving.

- As soon as he was able, he immediately told Anya and Daisuke the truth, about who crashed the ship and what had happened. Anya is still struggling to accept and understand the truth, but she's coming around slowly.

- He has denied skin grafting and facial reconstruction surgery multiple times now, mainly because he's worried about whats going to happen if he doesn't look like himself anymore or even like what he sees in the mirror. That he won't be able to recognise who he is anymore. He's slowly warming up to it, but very slowly.

- Has a guide dog named Laika, it helps him see and also helps him go outside and overcome his agoraphobia.

- He's learning how to cook again, after the crash. alot of his tastebuds were destroyed from mouthwash and starvation, so he's had to teach his body how food tastes again. He's developed a new love for custard.

- Still thinks about Anya, hopes to rekindle something with her in the future when she's ready.

Pre Crash Anya

- 34 Years old, born April 4th. Full name is Anya Musume, Czech Romanian.

- Her favourite movie is Bambi, she cries everytime it's on. Curly laughs at that but he bursts into tears while watching Brother Bear.

- She likes to knit, kind of sucks at it but she needs something therapeutic.

- She goes through alot of different hobbies and finds it difficult to stay in one place. She also has an infinite knowledge of completely useless facts she likes to bring up randomly, loves learning new things and is very hard to pry away from a good book.

- Also a gymrat, definitely not as much as Curly is but she enjoys jogging alot. Sometimes when she's getting mad cabin (ship?) fever, she will do some laps around the lounge room or hallway outside of utility. She likes to keep active and its become a way for her to think or concentrate, suffers the most from sitting still for too long. She sometimes does stretches with Curly, and he helps her find new ways to exercise or keep active in such a small place.

- Her favourite food of all time is cheeseburgers. Its her number one guilty pleasure and absolutely orders those ridiculously huge ones with seven different layers of fillings. She has a huge appetite and it lowkey scares people simply because of how much she eats in one sitting. She also enjoys a really good french onion soup from time to time, but the onions make her cry uncontrollably.

- Actually wanted to be a paediatrician once. After being denied a consecutive six times, she decided to just do whatever she would qualify to. Became a little depressed with it all, but still applied a two more times just in case. Shortly after being denied an eighth time, Pony Express approached her and it all went from there.

- Bisexual and knows it, probably has something funky going on with all that gender stuff too but she doesn't care too much. Has absolutely slept with girls before, liked it alot. Her first time was with a butch lesbian on the back of her car. She is very confident sexually and physically, she just enjoys wearing sweaters and jackets.

- Doesn't have a very big family. Her parents are divorced and she was forced to raise herself and her little sister. When her little sister turned 18, she got married immediately and left home to be a housewife. This put Anya in a bit of a spin and made her dive into some questionable relationships with some very lazy people.

- She also had a huge crush on Curly, but she would just bury herself in work to avoid thinking about it. She tried to somehow mix the two and get him to open up and try to get him to relax around her, but it never worked. He was always weirdly tense and rigid, despite being happy and smiling, there was something very deep beneath the surface.

Post Crash Anya

- 38 Years old

- Sort of gave up on her dream to be a nurse. She would absolutely love to, but her mental health has declined too drastically to study or even apply again and she has no money to even continue studying. Right now she's working as a librarian, she enjoys the quiet.

- Being put inside the cryopod basically froze her unborn baby, you're not supposed to operate the pods if you're pregnant and because of that she miscarried. She has alot of very mixed thoughts about it all, but is glad nonetheless. Would love to have children of her own someday.

- Still yearns for Curly, doesn't know how to move on, she's not even sure if she wants to move on.

- Her suicidal tendencies are still very present, and she can no longer be trusted around medication. She has to go to the hospital to take it and says hello to Curly everytime she does.

- Sometimes has sleepovers with Daisuke or Curly just to have someone nearby. She misses the constant, constant noise of the ship, and she knows they do as well. Its hard adjusting to silence.

- Wears her glasses more often now, never realized how badly she needed them until now.

- Has alot of self harm tendencies, scratches and peels at her skin as a nervous tic.

- Has a pet cat named Rosa, its a therapy animal to help her relax and calm down, she has really bad OCD and constantly triple checks everything is locked, turned off or on. She gets really ahead of herself and it can be exhausting.

- Still watches movies, brings over brother bear and has a real good cry with Curly sometimes. She's developed a passion for romance movies, it fills a little part of her soul each time. Her favourite is The Notebook. Definitely into some real cheesy stuff but it makes her happy.

Pre Crash Jimmy

- 37 Years old, born January 18th. Full name is James "Jimmy" Zare. American Australian.

- He's a chronic self harmer, littered in burns, cuts, bruises and scars. If smoking or alcohol doesn't take the edge off, he has a tendency to mutilate himself or he drifts endlessly. Before joining PE, he used to dissociate alot and it would never end well. After joining PE he got put on some serious stabilisers and anti-psychotics it switched his hazy, passively suicidal behaviour for a very angry and bitter one. Curly isn't sure if it was for the best.

- He didn't come from the greatest family. His parents were devout Christians. He had two younger sisters, and his mother was pregnant with another. After miscarrying, his parents got divorced because his father believed it was a sign of infidelity or shame, and his mother basically turned into a husk. Unable to speak, unable to take care of herself, completely and utterly empty. So with the added stress of his father dissapearing and then also having to raise himself and his sisters, he's developed a very nasty opinion of women and believes them to be weak and a nuisance. Jimmy was always extremely jealous of Curly's family, and never believed him wheb he said it was also really hard growing up.

- He wanted to be an engineer growing up. He actually bonded with Curly over their shared interests in machinery, and soon it branched from there. They met in highschool but got separated when Curly moved. Years later in a drunken stupor, he found himself miraculously at the doorstep of Curly's new life, and ever since then he's never been able to get rid of Curly.

- Jimmy's favourite animal is Hyena

- Has multiple tattoos that are equally trashy as they are shitty, he almost convinced Curly to get a matching one. Plenty of piercings have been ripped out of his body.

- Jimmy only got into weightlifting because Curly said he would pay for his membership. Jimmy isn't as strong as Curly is, its more the adrenaline that kicks in that keeps him ontop.

- Cut his hair to mimic Curly's but it lacks any real volume so it doesn't look like it.

- Closeted homosexual, open homophobe to himself. Alot of his feelings towards Curly are sexual in a way, but because of his upbringing and relationship examples he thinks this is normal and indulges in them quite often. Would never admit it.

Post Crash Jimmy

- 41 Years old

- Got sentenced to life in prison shortly after Curly regained his ability to speak coherently. Even though alot of the details for the legal case were skewered, Anya and Daisuke both showed up with their own cases to prove Curly's argument and they won.

- Before heading to jail, Jimmy actually got arrested three different times for breaking and entering. He was found trying to steal from his old place, which had new tenants and didn't even have his stuff anymore.

- When he killed himself, he managed to just barely miss all of his very important brain functions. He needs a cane to walk but refuses to use one so he limps a bit. He also has seizures and his schizophrenia has gotten significantly worse. He has a large scar on the side of his face now.

- No longer cuts his hair. It's grown past his shoulders now.

- Curly was able to finally sever ties and no longer speaks to Jimmy. He actually has an automated monthly card come in for Jimmy specifically because he knows it pisses him off. Jimmy's youngest sister visits sometimes.

- Goes by just "James" now.

- Sobered up against his will, got put on new medication that no longer makes him as angry, he's just bitter and cold.

- The blow from Swansea into his shoulder was brutal and it almost completely destroyed his arm, he's been learning how to use it again but struggles to commit.

Pre Crash Daisuke

- 25 Years old, born June 5th. Full name is Junpei Daisuke, Filipino Japanese.

- A bit of a perv but an extremely respectable way. He won't harass girls or make them uncomfortable but if you give him verbal consent that he's allowed to stare he isn't gonna hold back.

- Massive mama's boy. Never wants to admit it because he thinks others will tease him for it.

- He actually really dislikes chocolate, and prefers his sugary treats to be that of candy or gummies. Chocolate makes him sick too quickly. He has a bit of a sensitive stomach to coco.

- Has a belly button piercing, he says he was dared to do it but thats not true. He also has a tattoo that he cannot show anyone. (Its a trampstamp)

- Actually had a huge massive crush on Curly when he first met him. It was really embarrassing, but it mostly comes from jealousy. Curly is so much bigger abd stronger and Daisuke hopes to be like that one day. Extremely sexy and handsome.

- His favourite board game is monopoly because Anya always wins that one. He likes seeing her happy.

- Wanted to be an artist but after hearing about his parents financial troubles he gave up and decided to settle for a blue collar job thar had decent pay. Even though it was his idea, she had to push him to take the job.

- Got expelled from college, half way through he got really depressed and burnt out and kept on skipping classes and not putting any effort in. He also got fired from hos part time job and was forced to move back in with his parents.

- He's an only child and his parents absolutely love each other but there some strain and Daisuke can see it clearly, and it seriously depresses him but he tries to not let it get to his head.

- Pansexual, absolutely is trans in some way but he has a job so he dgaf rn.

- When he first arrived on the Tulpar, he noticed just how utterly depressing it was. So he decided to be the exact opposite of that, putting on a brave smile and attitude to ease himself into the crew. He gets along with Anya and Curly the most.

- Has two cats back at home. Pepper and Donatello, named after his favourite TMNT character.

- He's also a bit of a gym freak but he has no idea what he's doing, very new to real equipment found in gyms as he would always just use whatever was closest or available to him. Curly is teaching him proper techniques.

- Major insomniac but doesn't tell anybody this. Anya has to (metaphorically) choke it out of him so she can help, and he's been slowly adjusting to the medication.

- Has a bunch of really bad habits, drinking especially.

Post Crash Daisuke

- 29 Years old

- He's not allowed to leave the house anymore without running it by his mom. Ever since he returned from the Tulpar she's been dreading the worst happening again, keeps him on a really tight leash out of fear.

- Donatello passed away while he was in space, so in his grieving he got another cat and named it Biggie.

- His parents got divorced finally, the news of what happened had drove his father to the edge and it became too stressful. Daisuke doesn't resent him, and they keep in contact.

- Finally decided to let himself pursue art, Anya is his biggest supporter and she buys all of his paintings. He loves drawing animals the most, finds their complexities to be beautiful.

- let his haie grow out longer, often puts it in a ponytail now.

- He doesn't know what Swansea's sacrifice was, he only knows that somehow he ended up in the Cryopod and that his body was nowhere to be found. and nobody else knows what happened. He misses him a ton, so he paints swans alot. Sometimes Swansea's wife, Meredith, buys them, she comes around to talk to Daisuke and make sure he's doing well.

- He has a part time job now as a dog walker. He walks Swansea's dog almost every day now.

- Also a vegetarian, he's actually why Curly decided to become one. They still work out together but now its mostly him teaching Curly new things.

- Still really depressed and aimless, but he's been put on real medication to help him cope and he's doing much better.

Pre Crash Swansea

- 56 Years old, Born August 10th. Full name is Swansea Manning Heartford, Welsh.

- He actually doesn't like sweets all that much, but its much better than his other options. Coffee makes him sick as well, so sugar is his only vice.

- Has four kids, they're well into their adult years now. Swansea used to be able to call them when they were closer to earth, but that eventually stopped. He also has a brother, but they haven't talked in decades.

- A similar situation as Curly, Swansea got promoted to head engineer of the Tulpar because no one else would take it and he just so happened to be around. He was actually planning on retiring early.

- His wife used to always exclaim how jealous she was of him, to see the stars and everything beyond sounds like a dream. He didn't have the heart to tell her it sucks.

- Daisuke reminded him of not only his kids, but himself in a way. Back when he was younger and didn't have much of a care.

- Cannot punish his kids for the life of him, he's always been too soft and could never bring himself to actually be hard on them. He would get angry again them but then immediately do something to make it up to them because he felt guilty. He started to do this subconsciously with Daisuke and didn't notice until Curly pointed it out.

- Also a really big foodie, sort of cried a little with Curly when they were told about the strict food packet diet. Promises when this shipment is over he'll make the biggest gumbo ever and invite everyone around for it.

- Needs glasses but refuses to wear them.

- Gets along pretty well with Anya, they're not best friends but she's definitely more tolerable than Daisuke is. Neither of them talk that much so they both understand how good silence is, sometimes he'll let her complain and rant about absolutely nothing (Although it usually about Jimmy) because he understands how frustrating it can be. He doesn't provide her with anything or gives pep talks, he just lets her complain in circles.

- Girl dad, he has only daughters so to finally have a son in a way has been a new experience. He struggles to admit it but he is proud of Daisuke, he's just never been very open about his feelings or emotions, especially in his older age

- On the brink of a midlife crisis. Wanted to go mountain climbing.

- Probably gay, bisexual? he doesn't know. Doesn't care. College was weird.

- When it finally came down to it, Swansea was able to just barely convince Anya to go into the cryopods. After finding out what Jimmy had done he decided to put his foot down, his gut was telling him something bad was about to happen, and being able to barge the door to medical down his fears were proven. Right before she was about to OD, he convinced her to take Curly and Daisuke to utility and that it would all be taken care of.

- He was able to really hurt Jimmy, but unfortunately his old age and slight inebriation caught up and he failed to overpower him. Being shot in the eye and then the head, Jimmy thought he was dead. But after being rescued, Swansea's body was never found. Theres multiple theories by others of what happened, but nobody knows the truth.

[spyder-m]

Cloti Fall Festival, Day Three: Liquid Confidence

Summary: College AU. Zack wants Cloud to loosen up and forget studying for just one night. He coerces him into a night of drinking, hoping it'll give him the courage to talk to his long-time crush, Tifa. Things go about as well as you might expect. 

A/N:  I struggled to finish this, even with the extra time I took. It isn't beta'd, so I'm sorry if there are any glaring errors. Still, I hope you enjoy it! I have a couple more stories in the works for the Cloti Fall Festival. Hopefully, I'll be able to get those done without as many issues.

Ao3 / FF.net

.

The Avalanche bar at Midgar University wasn’t typically the place students went when they were planning to study.

Most tended to favour the library, or one of the many cafes on Campus; somewhere quiet, where they wouldn’t have trouble concentrating.

Cloud, however, liked the atmosphere of the bar on weeknights. It was a small, hole-in-the-wall place often overlooked for the fancier clubs in the city. The few patrons there were looking for nothing more than to unwind after a full day of classes.

Their murmured conversation, the steady, trickle of liquid into pint glasses, the low static of the television all built a comforting white noise, easy enough for him to drown out, but not all-consuming and uncomfortable like the deathly silence of the library.

Cloud wasn't fond of the silence. It made him feel alone, reminded him of the harsh isolation he had endured in his childhood.

The fact that the bar wasn't used by many others for studying, was also a plus. As it was free from the palpable stress radiating off of over students, frantically cramming over their notes as they prepped for exams, trying to savour the last-minute knowledge.

Cloud found a relaxed atmosphere much more conducive to learning.

At least, that was the reason Cloud would give anyone who asked.

In truth, there was something else that swayed heavily in the bar's favour.

Nursing a beer, Cloud scrolled through the Gallery on his laptop. Having recently travelled to Midgar’s coastline over the weekend, he was hoping to build up his portfolio some more with some of the photographs he'd taken of the sea, the Western Continent lingering over the horizon.

His gaze flickered from the screen momentarily at the sound of a light, familiar voice, waking pleasant tingles up his spine.

His childhood crush, Tifa Lockhart.

She was laughing behind the bar with her co-workers and friends, Jessie, Biggs and Wedge, the lull in customers affording her a moment's break. The bright smile crossing her features shone, carrying over the room's dim lighting like a beacon.

Cloud couldn't help but want to be a part of that conversation, to be the one drawing laughter from her, to have that intimate place in her life. Yet, much like the child who had admired from afar; he was frozen, rooted in place by hesitation.

It was strange how little things between them had changed, even after the years that had passed.

Cloud had joined Soldier at a young age, leaving school in order to pursue a dream, a better life as part of their elite First Class. Overlooking the town blanketed by starlight, his parting words to Tifa; at her insistence; had been a vow to rescue her should she ever find herself in a bind.

Much to his dismay, Cloud had fallen far from the mark of 1st Class, instead having to settle for grinding among their lower ranks, hoping that something would come of his hard work, not wanting to return home a failure. Yet, he found himself discharged shortly after the Wutai War had ended, worried about the direction his life would take now.

His entire plan had been hinged upon him making First Class, his young, optimistic mind had never devised a plan B, never considering the possibility that he might fail.

Cloud couldn’t return to Nibelheim, he knew that much. As much as he cherished his mother and Tifa, he had always been isolated in that village. It had never been a home.

Besides, he didn’t want to be a burden to his mother, who had struggled to raise him alone. He wanted to provide for her now. To work and eventually earn enough money to find a home for her outside of Nibelheim, somewhere she would be appreciated.

Yet, being thrust abruptly back into society, after having only after known life as a Soldier infantryman, made that difficult.

Cloud suddenly couldn’t help but feel underqualified compared to others his age. Those that had left for Midgar in pursuit of jobs or apprenticeships.

The prospect of finding stable work seemed dim to Cloud. The skills he had gained working for Shinra didn’t exactly translate to many other industries. What business would want to hire someone inexperienced like him, when they could likely pay less to someone younger and equally as qualified?

Cloud supposed he could always collect bounties fighting monsters, but it lacked the security of a regular job. Much of his earnings would likely end up going towards potions and weapon maintenance, anyway.

Fortunately, it was around this time, that Cloud discovered that, in recognition of their services, ex-Solider members could apply for a scholarship through Midgar U.

Cloud had leapt at the opportunity, an idea already in mind for what his major could be.

Throughout his time working under Shinra, Cloud had developed an interest in photography. As a young man travelling the world for the first time, Cloud had excitedly taken pictures of the different places he saw.

Knowing that they might not be stationed for long and weren't there as tourists; he wanted to at least commemorate the moment, taking photographs to send home to his mother.

Over time, Cloud came to develop a fondness for the hobby. He found tinkering with the camera kept him sane through the hours spent travelling or patrolling. After years of blind trial and error, the idea of taking classes and receiving the proper guidance from experts in the field excited him.

He had never considered the hobby something a career could branch from.

When he signed up for Midgar U, the last he expected was to find Tifa working at the University's bar, Avalanche.

Yet when he had stopped by one day, in the hope of getting directions around the Campus, he had been met by familiar, amber eyes of the bartender.

Tifa, the one who had been a significant motivation behind his joining Soldier.

The revelation had struck him in a mess of emotion. His heart warmed to see her again, yet dread churned in his stomach as he remembered his promise to her, and how, because of his shortcomings, it would remain unfulfilled.

He couldn't tell if their chance reunion had been the best, or worst, thing to happen.

The thought of avoiding the bar, and her, altogether flashed briefly through his mind, lingering long enough to elicit a stabbing sensation through his chest.

He knew he didn't have the strength to actively push away someone he cared about. His heart was drawn back to the building, a pleasant flutter coming over him each time he entered and she called his name.

There was no way he would be able to stomach lying to her. His resolve would shatter beneath those warm, ruby eyes.

Instead, he endeavoured to steer clear of the subject, keeping their conversations as brief as possible.

She would wave to him with a warm smile as he took out his laptop and camera. He sat in the corner booth, just out of her line of sight as she would busy herself with preparing drinks. That way, he could look up from his work every so often, and quickly steal a glance without her noticing.

For Cloud, it was a perfect arrangement.

He could be in her company, without having to stomach any of the awkward conversations he knew would inevitably come up. Where had he been all those years? Why hadn’t he ever come back to Nibelheim? Had he made Soldier?

She couldn’t know that he had failed to make 1st Class. That, in spite of his training and the lengths he went to, his only success had been as a lowly infantryman. She couldn’t know that everything her father had said about him had been right.

Even when he had been stationed in Nibelheim alongside Zack and Sephiroth, Cloud had kept his helmet on and spent most of his time hidden inside the Inn. It wouldn't have helped his ego to stand alongside two, for all their famed accomplishments.

In the rare instances that he and Tifa shared any kind of lasting conversation, Cloud was always careful to keep the discussion around her; reasoning that as a bartender, she spent enough time listening to others.

To his surprise, Tifa had seemed touched by the gesture.

He learned that outside of bartending, she was making extra cash babysitting her boss’ daughter and teaching self-defence classes at the nearby gym. Cloud had recalled her mentioning in passing wanting to study under Zangan, a martial arts master who had lived in their village.

From the way he’d seen her arms flex carrying trays laden with drinks, it shouldn’t have surprised him.

She was studying a combined degree of business and health science and expressed ambitions of one day opening a place of her own. Perhaps a bar, or maybe a dojo where she could pass Zangan’s teachings onto a new generation. She hadn’t decided yet.

The details Cloud revealed about himself were curt. He was a photography major. He picked up freelance mechanical and courier work to cover his expenses and was hoping to one day save enough money to buy himself a motorcycle.

No mention of Soldier.

No reference to the promise they had once made.

To his surprise, Tifa seemed to respect the distance he placed between them, only delving as deep as he would comfortably allow.

Things were probably for the best that way.

From what he could gather, Tifa didn't need a hero anymore. She was more than capable of handling herself.

Cloud stretched his arms over his head, sighing amidst the satisfying crack of his joints. Leaning back over his keyboard, Cloud suddenly felt his body slump forward under an unexpected pressure against his neck and shoulders. Reflexively, his hands rose to brace against the table, almost knocking over his drink.

“Figured I’d find you here.”

"Argh!" Cloud grunted. "Damnit, Zack! Get off me."

Having a good six inches of height over Cloud, he often served a makeshift armrest for his friend; much to his frustration. His considerably bulk didn't make fighting him off any easier. Eventually, Cloud managed to find purchase against the man's solid chest, pushing him aside. He levelled Zack with a cold glare as they separated.

"Aw, I'm happy to see you too, Cloud."

Cloud had been assigned to Zack’s battalion in Soldier, and Zack had taken him under his wing, seeing much of himself in the young, fresh-faced recruit.

On the surface, the comparison might have seemed puzzling. Zack was proud and confident, easy-going, and got along with most people he met, while Cloud kept to himself, tending to focus his efforts more on training and studying.

Still, having grown up as only children in backwater towns, they had long sought the companionship they found in one another; becoming something more akin to brothers than a mentor and protege.

"What are you doing here?"

“What?" Zack feigned innocence. "I was just in the neighbourhood, so I figured I’d see what my best bud was up to.”

“Aerith’s busy, huh?”

“Study night.” Zack groaned, collapsing in the booth besides Cloud. “Her mid-terms are coming up soon and she said I was too much of a distraction.”

“Really?” Cloud scoffed, hands gesturing over the pages of notes strewn about his table. “I can’t possibly imagine.”

“I know, right?”

Expression blank, Cloud held Zack's gaze in silence.

“You’re too serious, Cloud,” Zack whined. “Come on man, when’s the last time you hung out with someone?”

“I hang out with Vincent all the time.”

“Vincent doesn’t count! You guys barely say two words to each other.”

“Hmm, you’re right. No wonder I prefer his company.”

“Ouch, Cloud. That’s cold.” Zack held a hand over in chest in mock hurt. Yet, his lips quickly twisted into a smirk, one that sparked dread in Cloud.

Zack's voice lowered as he nudged his elbow against his friend's ribs.

“Though, speaking of company you prefer.”

Brow pinching together, Cloud glanced to his right at the sound of approaching footsteps. Heat flared in his cheeks as he noticed Tifa approaching their table.

“Here you are Cloud!” Tifa announced, setting a brightly coloured cocktail before him.

“Oh, I uh- I didn’t-”

“It’s on the house." She beamed. "Barrett’s letting me come up with new drinks for the menu. I wanted to get a second opinion I could trust.”

Her head dipped towards his beer, lukewarm and untouched.

“You’ve been sitting on that one for a while, so I get the feeling you aren’t a fan of bitter stuff.”

Cloud flushed. In all honesty, he hadn't intended on drinking anything, yet felt it would have been rude if used their space and didn’t order anything. So, he always opted to ask for the first thing he saw on the menu.

Tifa; in a gesture so selfless and innately her; mistook this for him lacking a taste for, or knowledge of alcohol, and had freely made him a drink she thought he would prefer.

It was no wonder he’d been in love with her since he was fourteen.

She pushed the glass toward him.

“Here. This has pomegranate juice in it. I hear that’s good for brain power.”

“O- oh, right." Cloud said, opening his hand to take the drink. "Thanks, Tifa.”

Their fingers touched briefly as she passed the drink over, the fleeting contact sparking through his body.

Zack smiled knowingly as the two held each other in silence.

“You know, Tifa,” Zack’s voice broke Cloud from his reverie. From the gleam in his eyes and distinct lilt in his voice, Cloud knew that he was turning up the charm. “I’m quite thirsty myself. Are there any other drinks that you would like to test out?”

Tifa folded the tray under her arms, hand stroking against her chin. Zack's suave wiles having seemingly little effect on her.

"Y'know, I probably shouldn't. I can't imagine Aerith would be happy to hear you were charming other women into getting free drinks, Zack."

Zack swallowed, the smile that crossed his features a little forced, nervous.

"Well, I should be heading back. Don't work too hard, okay Cloud?" Tifa said, voice and air morphing with genuine concern, as she lightly touched his shoulder.

Cloud nodded, fingers tracing the pattern of the coaster before him with sudden, avid interest.

Once Tifa had begun tending to another table, a safe distance away, Zack chuckled, watching his friend practically shrink back into the booth. The fleeting, affection gesture having left him tongue-tied and visibly flustered.

“You know, if it’s so hard for you to talk to her, a little liquid courage goes a long way,” Zack said, tapping the glass still resting between Cloud's fingers.

“I’m trying to keep a clear head,” Cloud answered, turning his attention back to the screen in front of him.

“Then why order anything? It’s a bar!”

“I can’t just… Not order anything.” Cloud flushed, his voice gradually trailing off. “That’d be weird.”

“But coming here under the flimsy pretence of studying just so you can look at the girl you like; yeah, totally normal.”

Cloud winced. “Don’t… phrase it like that.”

"Hey, Jessie!" Zack's voice abruptly rose, calling one of the other bartenders with a snap of his fingers. "Bring us something hard, yeah?"

"Z- Zack! What are you doing?!"

“Trust me Cloud, I’m just looking out for you.”

"I somehow doubt that."

"C'mon man, live a little!" Zack's exclaimed. "You were with Soldier for six years! You've already lost your teenage years to drills and missions. Now you gonna spend your twenties studying? You’re wasting your youth!”

“I'm on a scholarship, I need to keep my grades up. You know this Zack.”

“Aren’t you in the top percent for most of your classes? Come on, Cloud! Your grades aren’t going to suffer because you took one night off. Don't be such a Chocobo."

Cloud glared, his hand subconsciously running through messy, blond spikes; hoping they would for once rest in a way that didn't invite such comparisons.

“I’m not scared of anything, Zack. I just don’t want to, I-”

"Kweh."

Cloud trailed off, his mouth hanging open, indignant. Zack watched him, stare mischievous and challenging as he continued to wark. Like a Chocobo.

“Real mature, Zack.” Cloud sighed, reaching to clasp one of the shot glasses. “How old are you again?”

“23,” Zack winked, clinking his glass against Cloud’s own. “Now drink up.”

.

Closing time was soon approaching.

The night had been slow and Tifa had retreated momentarily to the break room, wanting a chance to catch up on some of the readings for her next class.

Though Jessie, Biggs and Wedge were still learning the ropes of the job, she was confident they could run the bar smoothly in her absence. Beyond their usual regulars, the only one there was Zack, and he had been ordering shots; easy enough to handle.

On nights like this, when it wasn't particularly busy, Barrett would sometimes let them do coursework; reasoning it was better than just standing around to nothing.

It was one of the perks of working here.

Though, admittedly, Tifa had been having difficulty concentrating; her focus drifting away from the pages before her book to thoughts of Cloud.

It made sense, she supposed. Seeing him working so hard each night had motivated her not to slack off on her own studies, in the first place. His determination was something she admired and had always driven her to improve herself.

It had helped give her the confidence to start training under Zangan, to travel to Midgar and go to University, to aspire to start her own business.

She’d found it odd, initially, that he chose a bar, of all places, to study, but... it did suit him in a way.

Even as a child, Cloud had always done things his own way. Much of his time had been spent alone, not playing with the other boys. Even when they all left for Midgar to take on jobs and apprenticeships, Cloud had aimed to join Soldier.

Tifa paused, the memory stirring something within her; the root of what was troubling her.

Soldier.

Whenever they spoke, Cloud seemed to avoid speaking about what he'd between now and his leaving for Midgar. Namely, of whether or not he'd managed to join Soldier.

It was strange that he would gloss over such an important detail. Cloud had never really bee one for gloating, but Soldier had been a goal he was determined to achieve, a dream he'd invested so much in. If he'd been accepted by Shinra, he surely would have been proud to share the news.

Yet, he'd never even written. Leading her to wonder if perhaps he hadn't made it, after all.

Still, Tifa wasn't quite so sure.

For one, Cloud was friends with Zack Fair, the 1st Class who had patrolled their hometown years ago. Good friends, it seemed. That was reason enough for her to think he must have some connection to Soldier.

Unless she was overthinking things? He'd mention working courier jobs before. Was it possible he just had a regular delivery route above the plate?

At times, Tifa couldn't help but succumb to that small, insidious part of herself, taunting that Cloud never cared to share the news with her, because he had moved on. No longer concerned with her or the promise they had made.

Tifa sighed, lounging back in her seat, silently conceding that her attempts to study weren't going anywhere.

She'd just have to be patient.

She didn’t want to pry, after all.

Stretching her arms above her head and closing up her textbook, Tifa fished through her pockets for the bar's keys, ready to start closing up.

She was interrupted by the door swinging wildly open as Biggs slipped through, not quite managing to mask the frantic look in his eyes.

His expression alone told Tifa all she needed, even before Biggs could settle on the right words with which to explain himself. There was a problem, and he had been the one to draw the short straw, to have to break the news to her.

Tifa folded her arms, weighing Biggs down with a sharp glance. Swallowing, Biggs' hand flicked through his hair.

“Yo, Tifa," he stumbled. "You, uh... you might want to check on your friends.”

“Huh?"

Dipping his head towards the bar, Tifa followed him out, curious. Immediately her eyes were drawn to the slumped heaps of Cloud and Zack, surrounded by empty shot glasses.

Cloud must have passed out; his eyes closed and steady breaths rising from his chest; while Zack struggled to his feet, grasping onto the table for support.

"I thought I told you guys to cut them off.”

“Yeah, that’s what we did. But... Well, apparently Jessie is quite fond of Blondie. His friend’s a real charmer too. He's been talking her into giving them extra drinks all night."

Tifa frowned. She had only been teasing, but apparently, Zack had taken exception to her words. She sighed, massaging the bridge of her nose.

"We're going to have to get them out of here. Barrett won't be happy if he finds out about this."

"Yeah, you're right." Tifa nodded, approaching the booth.

"Alright, buddy," Biggs said, grabbing Zack's arm and throwing it over his shoulder. "Time for you to get going."

"S'alright. I-" Zack hiccupped, holding up his PHS. "I knew you were closin' soon."

Aerith slipped through the entrance to the bar not long after, her head bowed apologetically as she met Tifa's gaze. Smirking, Tifa's head dipped towards Zack's crumpled form, and Aerith rolled her eyes, fondly.

Noticing her approach, Zack's face lit up, ecstatic finally managed to pry his girlfriend away from her study session.

"Aer!" He exclaimed. "You came!"

Aerith stumbled as Zack collapsed against her waist, dragging Biggs with him as his arms surrounded her. Straining beneath her boyfriend’s body weight, Aerith offered a sheepish smile.

"I hope these two weren't giving you too much trouble."

"I’ll help you get them home." Biggs said, standing back upright and helping to support Zack, leaving Tifa to deal with Cloud.

Compared to some of the other patrons Tifa had to help escort out, in his drunken state, Cloud actually looked rather endearing. The soft flush colouring his pale cheeks, his hair looking even more tousled than normal, falling into his eyes.

Shaking her head, Tifa slipped partway into the booth, her arms wrapping around Cloud’s waist as she slowly extracted him.

Years of training under Zangan and regularly lugging around crates filled with alcohol had helped Tifa build her strength, and she was able to support his weight with less difficulty than Aerith and Biggs were having with Zack.

Though, Cloud's slighter build and height made it easier, his chin resting comfortably against the top of her head.

“Alright, Cloud. Let’s get you home.”

“Teef. ‘M sorry,” Cloud slurred, her voice apparently stirring him.

“It’s alright, Cloud. I have a feeling this wasn’t your fault.”

"No, not that." Cloud's head lulled to the side. Intrigued, Tifa's eyes scanned to the side, wordlessly, pressing him to continue.

"I always end up on relying on you... Couldn't keep my promise."

Though his words were vague, Tifa couldn't suppress the flash of hope they sparked in her; the want to know that he still remembered, that he still cared about that pledge they had made together.

"W- what do you mean?" Tifa asked, trying to contain the urgency in her voice.

She flinched through the tense, passing seconds that followed, her question hanging unanswered.

The alcohol had loosened Cloud up, to the extent that he was revealing more than he would normally be comfortable with. Something she could only hope to uncover through gentle coaxing.

Tifa realised, with a pang of guilt, that she may have been pushing too far. It wasn't fair for her to take advantage of Cloud's inebriated state like that.

In a flash of clarity, Cloud must have realised his mistake, as he had fallen into embarrassed silence.

Glancing through her periphery, she tried to catch of glimpse of Cloud's face; trying to discern something, anything from his expression.

His head slumped against her shoulder, dead weight.

“Cloud? Cloud?!”

.

Cloud was relieved to find himself in his bedroom when he woke the following morning. Woozy, and head weighing down the rest of his body like an anchor, but otherwise fine.

Pushing the shirts aside, he realised he was still wearing his clothes from last night, though his boots were resting at the edge of the bed. He cringed noticing the dark, sticky patches staining his shirt. Hopefully, those were just beer.

Sitting up, Cloud rummaged through his jean pockets, relieved to find his keys, wallet and PHS. His laptop and notes were piled neatly on his desk.

Glancing at the clock on his bedside table, it was shortly before noon, though Cloud's schedule was, fortunately, empty for the day. He wasn't sure how eager he would have been to turn up to class today, looking like he'd fallen out of a tree.

Still, for as much as he had dreaded what may have come of him given in to Zack's pressure, Cloud supposed things could have turned out worse.

Nothing particularly egregious, from the night before, stuck out to him. He just hoped they hadn't made things difficult for Tifa.

Rolling from his bed and, unsteadily, onto his feet. Cloud shuffled out of his bedroom in search of Zack.

Despite begrudging him for putting them in the situation to begin with, he wanted to make sure his friend had returned home safely.

“Zack?” Cloud called as he padded blindly into the kitchen.

“Oh, good morning, Cloud!” An all too cheery, feminine voice answered.

The blinds were closed, only the thinnest stream of light breaking through the gaps in the shutters. Aerith stood over their kitchen table, a vision of immaculately tied hair and bright pastel colours, as she tended to a bleary-eyed, dishevelled Zack.

His hands were clasped firmly around a glass filled with a questionable looking green substance; a herbal concoction of Aerith's, perhaps?

“Aerith, please.” Zack moaned pitifully; voice muffled against the tabletop. “Not so loud.”

“Don’t mind him, Cloud.” Aerith said as she massaged her boyfriend's shoulders. “Someone’s just cranky because they have a headache.”

"Oh, I don't mind. At all." Cloud replied, making sure to scrap his chair legs as loudly as possible against the floor as he sat down. "It's not often Zack's the one asking for quiet. I like it."

Zack's gaze lifted, his face twisting angrily at Cloud.

It was rare for Zack to be in a sour mood, so much so that Cloud sometimes forgot he even was capable of it.

“How come you aren’t in as bad shape as I am?” Zack accused.

“Because I actually took precautions. Drinking water, eating. If I had to suffer through this, the least I could do was make sure you ended up worse than I did.”

“That’s it. None of Aerith’s Miracle Hangover Cure for you." Zack pouted, cradling the glass protectively against his chest. "Not until you show some sympathy."

"Why don't I get us started on some breakfast, hm? Fried food's good for a hangover, right?"

Aerith moved into the kitchen, rummaging through their cabinets for a pan; a racket of clatters that left Zack wincing. Her search was halted by a knock at the door, so light and tentative it was almost drowned out by the ensuing noise.

"Huh. I wonder who that could be?" Aerith asked, eyes meeting Cloud's.

With a shrug, Cloud rose to his feet. Despite not feeling in the slightest bit presentable for visitors, his hand clenched around the doorknob. The lash of cool air from the open door was refreshing, but the relief it brought was short-lived, as Cloud noticed who was standing on the other side.

"Tifa?"

"Cloud."

Cloud's hand brushed over his mess of hair, suddenly conscious of how haggard he, likely, looked.

It was startling how Tifa awoke these insecurities in him.

Still, he supposed anyone would have felt self-conscious, watching her standing radiantly before in the sunlight.

Behind them, Aerith clasped her hands together, watching on with apparent rapt fascination. Even Zack had found the strength to lift his head. Cloud turned with a glare.

"Oh, uh... Don't mind us."

Rolling his eyes, Cloud stepped out through the front door, closing it behind the prying eyes of his friends. With his head swimming and a swirl of nerves tickling in his belly, it was already difficult enough for him to form a coherent sentence; he didn't need an audience.

"Sorry about... them."

"It's fine," Tifa chuckled, the soft peals plucking delicately at Cloud's heart. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine, I guess. Zack got off way worse, but Aerith's taking of him."

"Really? That's a relief. You both looked like you were in a bad way last night. I just wanted to make sure you were alright."

Sheepish, Cloud hand wrung at his neck, his eyes tracing over the doorframe. Tifa dealt with drunk patrons on a regular basis. For her to be concerned, they must have been in especially rough shape.

Still, he couldn't help but relish in the hearing that she had worried about him. Perhaps it was that flash of familiar comfort that kept him speaking.

"I guess in the end you were the one to help me out a bind, huh?" Cloud answered, the words slipping easily from his tongue.

"W- what did you say?"

Tensing, Cloud realised he'd caught himself a moment too late. As Tifa looked to him, those same captivating eyes seemed younger; wide and hopeful.

"I thought you had forgotten."

Honestly, nothing could have been further from the truth. The memory was something that hung over Cloud, a constant reminder of how he had failed, how he would never be good enough for her.

Yet at the same time, it was something he cherished; a connection between them that had not been severed by even time or distance. A thread that had pulled them back together.

Unsure of exactly how to express those thoughts spiralling through his head; of what she meant to him; Cloud simply shook his head.

"You don't need anyone to rescue you, Tifa. You don’t need me anymore."

Frowning, Tifa folded her arms.

"That doesn’t mean I don't want you to be part of my life."

Cloud glanced up, disbelief flashing across his features.

"Really?"

Tifa’s expression softened, offering a silent, reassuring nod.

Cloud exhaled, his hand sliding over his face.

"I'm sorry, I'm an idiot."

"So, I'll see you at the bar then?"

Cloud grimaced, hands wiping unconsciously over the stains in his jeans.

“Tifa, don’t take this wrong way, but I’m not sure I can stomach going back to Avalanche for a while.”

“Oh,” Tifa answered, her voice faint as her gaze lowered. Cloud's eyes widened, conscious suddenly of his word choice.

“No!" His hands rose, waving back and forth desperately. "S- sorry. What I mean is, why don’t we meet somewhere else? Without Zack. Just you and I.”

"Oh." Tifa replied, her own cheeks tinging pink. "I- I think I'd like that."

"Really? I mean, that’s great!"

Tifa's head dipped slightly at the enthusiasm taking over his voice. The thick, dark locks of her hair, obscuring the flush that spread across her face. They watched one another, her smile bashful, apprehensive, as if weighing over something in her mind.

"W- well, I guess I'll see you around." She said, eventually, her arms opening as she stepped towards him.

Any worries Cloud may have still held dissipated at the soft pressure of Tifa’s body leaning into him, warm and solid and strong. The fragrant scent carrying from her was homely, clearing the haze that still clouded his consciousness. His hand cradled her head, tentatively, his fingers tracing through her hair. He exhaled, content.

Though Cloud wasn’t exactly pleased with how he’d gone about it, he couldn’t deny that Zack had really helped him out.

Somehow, he had managed to bridge the gap between him and Tifa. Something that Cloud, with his apprehension, would have likely never achieved on his own.

As much as he hated to admit it, Zack had been right. Perhaps he should go out more often.

[murasaki-murasame]

Thoughts on Sarazanmai Episode 6: “I Want To Connect, So I’m Not Giving Up”

All things considered, this episode was way more positive and hopeful than I expected, but it still hurt in it’s own way, and Ikuhara is still aiming to literally murder me with these post-ED scenes.

I was worried that Ikuhara wasn’t going to be able to pace out an 11-episode anime properly, but thus far it’s been fine, and this episode in particular gives me hope that the rest of the show will be just as good.

Also, I really think that anyone watching the show by this point needs to at least check out the ReoMabu prequel manga, if not also their twitter account, so you can get more context for their relationship, now that they’re becoming more prominent.

Anyway, thoughts under the cut.

It almost feels like a spoiler to include the episode title at the top of the post, since it’s one of the big emotional climaxes of the whole episode, but oh well. I still really love how this series is using it’s episode titles to hammer in specific emotions at the end of each episode.

This episode title also reflects how this is the episode where the patterns that have made up the show thus far have pretty much veered off-track. There were no musical numbers, no transformation scenes, no new Lucky Selfie Item, the kappa zombie of the week is determined to have love instead of desire, and for the first time ever, the episode title is actually a positive one that shows how Kazuki has grown as a person. I haven’t watched Penguindrum or Yuri Kuma Arashi yet, but I really like how Ikuhara intentionally deviates from the episodic patterns he sets up in order to create a sense of dissonance and change, and this is a great example of that. It really feels like this is the halfway mark that’s bridging the two halves of the show. I wouldn’t be surprised if the kappa zombie of the week stuff more or less stops after this, with how Reo and Mabu seem to be changing tactics, and the main trio are more aware of how the process works and how they’re erasing people from existence by defeating the kappa zombies.

Even though this is just the mid-season climax [and the point where the first of the two light novel volumes ends], it really feels like it could almost work as a full-on season finale, or at least a penultimate episode, with how it pretty much wraps up Kazuki’s entire character arc. But we still have five more episodes to go, and the post-ED scene in particular makes it clear that there’s still more to delve into. As I said above, I was worried that, based on what I’ve heard about Yuri Kuma Arashi, Ikuhara isn’t good at properly pacing out 1-cour anime, but this episode in particular makes it feel like if he was bad at it before, he’s certainly gotten a lot better at it. The pacing actually sorta reminds me of Planet With from last year, in how it feels like every single scene in this show is meaningful, and it feels like there’s more development than you get in most full series.

And on the note of Kazuki’s development, it didn’t go at all how I expected, but I’m really happy with how it went. I was honestly expecting Haruka to get turned into a kappa zombie and for the main trio to find out about the ‘erasure from existence’ thing after they defeated him, so I was surprised to see that he got saved, and I definitely wasn’t expecting it to also involve Kazuki finally accepting his brother’s love and saving him, after being given the choice to basically kill himself to erase all of his sins.

I think we can all agree that that whole sequence in this episode was ultimately a metaphor for him being suicidal and thinking that if he could die, or if he could have never been born in the first place, then everything would be better. There was just a vague plot mechanism in place to make him think that that might be genuinely true. Kazuki is a really complex and divisive character in a lot of ways, but moments like this really make it clear that he’s just a depressed teenager who feels unworthy of love. So it was nice to see Enta and Toi come through to save him before he could go through with killing himself [especially with how that whole bit incorporated Toi’s gun and Enta’s soccer skills].

The big climax of Kazuki’s arc, and his acceptance of Haruka’s love, ties in a lot with how we finally get some fairly blunt info about how society works in this series, and what exactly the loss of a Shirikodama means for a person. Like with how basically every Ikuhara anime is ultimately concerned with the idea of society being made of an in-group and an out-group, with being forced into the out-group being equivalent to death [but also to transcendence, sometimes], people in Sarazanmai are connected via their Shirikodama, and the linked desires that they represent, with those who cannot ‘connect desires’ being forced out of that circle of connection, and erased from existence. There’s a lot of in-universe lore and jargon going on there, but it basically boils down to ‘isolated outcasts get rejected and forgotten’. But on a more small-scale and personal level, this episode also explores the idea of smaller social circles, and the way that people can be rejected from them, and reject themselves from them. Kazuki feels that he was always on the outside of the circle after he found out that he was adopted into his family, and he’s been pushing Haruka away and refusing to connect with him directly for a variety of reasons. He’s been intentionally rejecting himself from that circle this whole time, and his big emotional realization in this episode is that Haruka genuinely loves him and just wants to have a normal relationship with him, and that he can allow himself to be loved and accepted into that circle. He can allow himself to be chosen. The fact that Haruka wants Kazuki to know that they’re a part of a circle together, from beginning to end, pretty much encapsulates all of that.

We also learn that part of why Haruka also has his own self-loathing issues going on is because he stole Kazuki’s mother’s scent pouch and rejected her out of fear that she’d steal Kazuki away from him. So he probably feels responsible for what ended up happening that day when Kazuki went to go see his mother at the train station.

I really hope we get to see the two of them interacting and talking things out soon. In a lot of ways their whole arc together has basically wrapped up, but it’ll still be nice to actually see their relationship improving.

I’m curious to see if Kazuki’s going to ever go back to his cross-dressing days now that the whole Sara thing has been exposed, and he’s finally allowed himself to love and be loved by Haruka as himself. I guess that’ll be what shows whether he only cross-dressed solely to try and connect with Haruka, or if he also had other reasons for it.

I have the wonder what’s gonna happen with the main trio now that Kazuki’s come to his big character development climax moment, and they all have a better understanding of how the kappa zombie thing works, and about the broader otter/kappa conflict. It’s also worth noting that, since they apparently defeated the sachet kappa zombie for good this time, they should have their fourth silver plate of hope, so they should just be one away from getting a full gold one. I’m really curious to see how that turns out, since I don’t think Kazuki is going to care about it at this point, since he’s managed to restore his relationship with Haruka without it. I think he’ll just let Toi or Enta use the gold plate for their own wish instead. And out of the two of them, with how things are going, it seems like Enta will probably end up letting Toi make the wish for himself.

It’s worth pointing out that even though Kazuki’s development more or less wrapped up here, there’s presumably more to do with Toi and Enta and their own personal conflicts. I think they’re each going to get one more focus episode before the anime wraps up. I don’t know entirely how their own stories will end, but Toi still needs to sort things out with him and his brother, and Enta clearly has to do SOMETHING about his repressed crush on Kazuki.

I would say that it feels like there’s actually not much more that even needs to happen with the main trio at this point since they’ve gotten so much focus and development already, but that’s where Reo and Mabu come in, since they’re clearly going to be way more prominent in the second half. The synopsis preview for episode 7 seems to imply that we’ll get more backstory for them, which will hopefully include the short chapter from the light novel that the anime’s apparently skipped over thus far. At the very least, this episode’s post-ED scene is enough to make it clear that there’s a lot to learn about them.

At first I was super thrown off by that whole scene, mostly because the art used for the backgrounds was so stylized that it looked like it took place on some fantasy planet, but after thinking about it, it makes sense, and I think it still slots into the same timeline as the manga and their twitter account. I think that their twitter account basically ended with the two of them getting drafted into the Otter Empire, and the post-ED scene in this episode shows them serving in the empire afterwards, and Mabu getting killed in the middle of them trying to finally capture Prince Keppi. It’s all very sudden, but it makes sense. And obviously we’ll learn more about it later.

It still looks like Mabu is being kept alive by a mechanical heart, which was probably provided by the Otter Empire in exchange for their continued service. But we still don’t know exactly how he got given that heart, and what his maintenance entails. It seems interesting that his situation resembles what Keppi said about the effects of having a Shirikodama removed, but Mabu still seems to be around, and Reo still remembers him and their history together, even if Mabu does seem to have lost his emotions. Maybe his mechanical heart is basically keeping him in a stasis where he’s not completely rejected from the circle like the defeated kappa zombies are. It might be worth noting that we’ve also only seen Reo interact with Mabu at all thus far, but that might just be a coincidence.

It looks like their goal, or at least Reo’s, has shifted over to capturing Keppi once and for all now that they’ve seen him in the security camera footage of the main trio saving Haruka. It definitely looks like his ultimate plan is probably to use Keppi to make a gold plate of hope that he can use to wish Mabu back to how he used to be. And honestly at this point I think he deserves it, lol. The main trio’s problems are all just real-life relationship issues that can be resolved through communication and honesty, but Reo doesn’t really have much of a choice if he wants to fix the issue of Mabu being a living corpse fueled by a magical mechanical heart.

I’m really curious to see how their methods change after this, now that they have a more concrete goal. I wonder if they’ll keep making new kappa zombies each episode, or if they’ll continue to play a more active role in things.

At the very least, I think that there’ll be a sequence later on where the two of them get their own Sarazanmai musical sequence and secret-leaking scene. It’d just make sense in a lot of ways if we find out that, similar to the main trio, they can transform into otters and do the whole Sarazanmai thing.

I’m also still curious to see if/when their connection to Sara comes up in the story, especially since it seems like the prequel manga is probably canon to the anime. I think it’d at least be weird if it doesn’t come up at all, since the fact that they raised Sara seems like a pretty big deal.

And on the note of her, and the prequel manga’s plot in general, this episode raises even more questions, even if it answers at least one. At the very least, it looks like the sleepwalking dude at the end of the manga was her manager, and the silhouetted figure with a crown was Prince Keppi. But even knowing that just raises it’s own questions. In particular, why didn’t Keppi mention Sara in his whole info-dump about the otter/kappa war? He basically acted like he was the only surviving member of his kingdom, but Sara [and her manager] are obviously still around. She’s even a popular TV idol, and even uses her kappa form as a mascot, so Keppi should at least be aware that she exists. So I wonder if he might be intentionally trying to hide his connection to her, for one reason or another. In particular, I wonder if maybe Keppi is trying to protect her from the Otter Empire by acting like he’s the only kappa left alive, so they won’t get suspicious of her. Though it’s hard not to think that his overall motives might be more sinister after his episode, so who knows.

I have a feeling that Sara might also have the power to produce dishes of hope like Keppi can, regardless of what he says about him being the only one able to do that. If she does, I could see that leading to an ending where she’s able to grant Reo’s wish, and they can basically go back to being a family together.

This episode kinda makes me even more confused about Sara in general, though. Now that we know more about the reality of the war going on, and the kappa being a nearly extinct kingdom, you’d think that she wouldn’t be quite so flippant about transforming into a kappa in public, or using her kappa form as a mascot on TV. Episode 5 also made her seem a lot more . . . spacey and off in her own world, in a way, than how she seemed at the end of the prequel manga. I wonder how she feels about all of this.

I was a bit worried that the show has been spending so much time on the main trio that it wouldn’t have enough time to really go into Reo and Mabu, and the whole otter/kappa conflict, and so on, but it looks like all of that is becoming a lot more important now, and this episode already spelled out a lot of info, so I think it should work out fine.

I really want to check out the light novels now, but I’ve already decided that I’ll wait until near the end of the year to buy both volumes together. I did import the ReoMabu manga yesterday, though, so that should get here next week. I have a feeling I’ll also end up importing the physical volumes of the new manga adaptation as well, lol.

All in all, this was a really fantastic episode. I’m really happy that Ikuhara hasn’t lost his touch, and that we’re still getting such great shows from him. Now I’m just crossing my fingers and hoping that the second half of the show can stick the landing.

[hale-of-stiles-heart]

two awkward teachers au for Destiel?

Not sure if I really hit on the awkwardness but I hope you like it anyway! (also on ao3!)

When Dean graduated high school, he had been sure that his days of developing puppy dog crushes were over. But he had been wrong. So utterly wrong.

Because there he was at thirty three years old with a stomach full of butterflies and a face the color of a cherry. All because one of his co-workers had complimented his outfit.

Christ, he was pathetic.

He was a college professor for God's sake, he molded young minds and all that bullshit, he should not be blushing like a little schoolboy. Yet there he was, standing in his empty classroom with sweaty palms and a racing heart.

It was Cas' fault really. With those big blue eyes of his and his pretty pink lips and his messy hair that made it look like he had just gotten thoroughly fucked. With his dark stubbled jaw and radiant smiles.

With his perfectly pressed suits and dorky trench coat and backwards tie. With his awkwardness and his fascination with bees and the way he tilted his head to the side like a confused puppy.

Yeah, it was totally Cas' fault. That fucking asshole.

Dean had met Cas five years ago when he had started teaching at the University of Kansas, taking over for Professor Donatello Redfield who decided to retire after thirty years of teaching. But while the older man, who retired to a cozy house on the outskirts of town with his cat, had taught both chemistry and history Dean was purely a history buff.

He had always been a history junkie, from the time he was a little toddler running around in the backyard playing cowboys. His parents had thought it was adorable, indulging him whenever he asked to watch old black and white movies or begged to go with his dad to classic car shows.

Besides his dad and his uncle Bobby, his childhood heroes had been Eliot Ness and Samuel Colt. In high school, he spent as much time studying as he did chasing skirts.

The only problem was that when the time came, his family couldn't afford to send him off to college. His grades had been wonderful but just not enough to get him a scholarship.

So, with his other options exhausted, he followed in his dad's footsteps and enrolled in the army the day after he turned eighteen. He trained to be a mechanic, never actually see seeing any combat, and after a four year stint, the government paid for him to go to school.

He studied history at KU, focusing primarily on American history and dabbling in a bit of ancient civilization. After another four years, he graduated with honors and was offered a job replacing Professor Redfield.

He had met Cas just a few days later while he was moving into his new office — he had his own office! — a friendly face who offered to help him unload some of his boxes from the backseat of the Impala. Dean had been grunting and groaning as he tried wrenching one of his boxes of books out of the backseat when a deep, gravelly voice had come out of the blue to ask, "Would you like some assistance?"

Dean had been so startled, he had jerked upright and promptly smacked the back of his head against the roof of his baby, cursing at the pain. Shaking himself, he had backed out of the backseat to find the source of the husky voice that may or may not have had gone straight to his dick.

He had found the most gorgeous man he had ever seen standing by the back of the Impala. He had been wearing a quintessentially nerdy sweater vest and a shy smile.

After gawking at the man for a few minutes, Dean had shaken himself again and accepted the man's offer, handing him one of the lighter boxes. They had walked in comfortable silence to Dean's new office where one of the maintenance workers, Joshua, was scraping Donatello's name off the glass inlay of the door.

"Oh, you must be Professor Winchester," the yet to be introduced man commented as he followed Dean into his office. "Donatello's replacement."

"Call me, Dean. Professor makes me feel all old," Dean had countered as they set their boxes down on his already cluttered desk. After wiping his palm on his jeans, he held out his hand, greeting, "Nice to meet ya."

"I'm Professor Novak," the man returned, shaking Dean's hand. With a smile, he amended, "Castiel Novak."

"Well, alright, Cas," Dean had laughed under his breath. "You mind helping me out with the rest of my boxes?"

"It'd be my pleasure, Dean," Cas had returned with a beaming grin. Their friendship had flourished from there.

It turned out that Cas' office was just down the hall from Dean's, that he taught both literature and theology. He was a favorite among students despite his sometimes too formal demeanor, largely due to his empathetic nature and rather lax deadlines for assignments.

He and Dean had coinciding breaks between their morning and afternoon classes, giving them the opportunity to get to know each other better over lunches consisting of the cheapest junk food the school's vending machine had to offer. Typical topics of conversation spanned from their teaching plans to their personal lives to their favorite television shows as they sat in Cas' office and drank too-weak black coffee.

Apparently, Cas had a ridiculously huge family, admitting that he had scores of siblings he had never actually met before. All of them had been given either Biblical names or names of angels according to Christian mythology, thus Cas' fascination with theology.

Dean had countered stories about Cas' older brother Gabriel with jokes about his moose of a younger brother who had just gotten engaged. When Cas told him the meaning of his name — speed of God — Dean told him that he had been named after his maternal grandmother.

They shared all sorts of family anecdotes from the time Dean carved his and Sam's initials into the Impala to the time Cas' brothers Gabriel and Balthazar had taken him to a strip club for his eighteenth birthday, only for Cas to admit that he was pansexual and while the women were very attractive he would rather go to a male strip club. They had even exchanged baby pictures so they could laugh at the mischief they had gotten into while still in diapers.

Dean had ribbed Cas for days about his car, an old Lincoln Continental that was unbelievably fitting for Cas. In turn, Cas had teased Dean about the copy of Busty Asian Beauties he had found in his office while helping him tidy up his desk.

Their routine of having lunch together on weekdays and occasionally hanging out on the weekends when neither of them had any other plans had continued for the next four years. And somewhere along the line, between the afternoons spent teasing each other and the nights at Dean's apartment binge watching Dr. Sexy, Dean had fallen head over heels for his best friend.

Which is why Cas' innocent comment about Dean's tie bringing out his green eyes turned the over-compensatingly butch, army vet, tough guy history professor into a pile of blushing goo. He was seriously fucked.

Especially when Cas sent him a wink afterwards before flouncing out of Dean's classroom to get to his own before his students showed up. When Dean's students arrived, shuffling into class with tired eyes and cups full of Starbucks coffee, he was still struggling to will away his blush.

He somehow managed to make it through his lesson about the atrocities committed by white settlers without embarrassing himself any further. As he handed out study guides for their next quiz, he resolutely ignored the way one of his students raked her eyes over him like he was a piece of meat.

Maybe his tie brought out his eyes a little too much.

He gave a quick little lecture about studying that was met with a chorus of exaggerated groans and a round of simultaneous eye rolls before excusing his students. As they filed out of the room, he grabbed his phone and shot a quick text to his friend Charlie, I think Cas just hit on me.

Charlie, the school's resident IT expert who taught an afternoon computers class on Tuesdays and Thursdays and was a friend from high school, answered a few seconds later. What?! ���👀👀

Dean glanced at the clock as he typed out his response. Cas still had another hour left of class before his break, his theology class only meeting on Thursdays.

He said my tie brought out the color of my eyes then he winked at me! He winked at me! Dean texted her, feeling frantic. His palms were suddenly sweaty again as he replayed Cas' words over and over and over again, trying to eek out any hidden meaning, any intent.

He wasn't good at subtle flirtations, he was more of an actions over words kind of guy. Sure, he could charm the pants off anyone — well, almost anyone — but that was just when all he was looking for was a one night stand. A wham bam thank you ma'am, or mister, before he never saw them again.

But Cas was different. He deserved more than a meaningless hookup in the back of some dive bar or dirty alleyway. He deserved something special and romantic, like something Dr. Sexy would come up with.

Like rose petals spread out on luxuriant silk sheets with candles lit around the room. Like breakfast in bed with heart shaped pancakes and a steaming mug of his favorite earl grey tea.

Or maybe a nice massage after a long bubble bath with one of those bath bomb things that Charlie was always raving about. Dinner at a fancy restaurant that served more than just burgers and fries before a walk on the beach to watch the sunset.

Cas deserved all that and more. But Dean had no idea if he could give him that.

The longest romantic relationship he had ever maintained had been in high school. Even then, in the two years he had dated Cassie, he had been an idiot, a stupid teenage boy who was too fixated on when he was going to get laid again to bother sending his girlfriend flowers on her birthday or taking her out to dinner.

But hopefully, Charlie could help, even if it was just to tell him that he shouldn't get his hopes up. He eagerly awaited her response.

When his phone dinged with her reply, he couldn't open the message fast enough. And what did you do??? Charlie's message read.

I didn't do anything, Dean admitted, biting his lip as he mentally kicked himself for just gaping like a fish out of water. He left before I could do anything.

Oh, Dean. 😔 Charlie replied, her disappointment palpable in the text. That little emoji she included just seemed cruel.

Fortunately, she made up for any insulting, pensive looking emojis by sending him instructions. Alright, here's what you're gonna do. Go get him some flowers and flirt that perfect ass of yours off.

Are you sure? Dean sent back, his brows knitting together in consternation. He didn't want to fuck anything up just because he read too much into an innocent comment that meant nothing.

Have I ever steered you wrong before? Charlie returned challengingly. A second later, she tacked on, Except for that one time. It's not my fault he turned out to be straight!

Alright, thanks, Char, Dean answered, chuckling to himself at the memory of the time Charlie had set him up on a blind date with a guy so straight it was painful. At least the chicken wings had been good.

His phone chirped a moment later with another message from Charlie. He smiled as he read it, I better be the maid of honor at your wedding.

Sure thing, kiddo, Dean shot back before pocketing his cell phone and checking the clock again. He still had forty five minutes until Cas' class ended, which should have given him enough time to run over to the florist on Third Street, especially if he disregarded the speed limit.

*        *        *       *       *       *

Dean made it back to the campus with ten minutes to spare, carefully tucking the bouquet of flowers he had purchased into the inner pocket of his jacket. He was careful not to crush any of the pristine petals as he hurried back into the main building and made his way back to his office.

He had been surprised by how busy the flower shop had been at ten a.m., finding a long line when he made it to Happy Petals. The line had moved along quickly enough, most people picking up online orders.

When it was his turn at the counter, he abruptly realized that he had no idea what kind of flowers to buy. The only person he had ever bought flowers for was his mother and he always got her the same thing, a bunch of sunflowers.

Luckily, one of the women behind the counter took him aside to help him put together the perfect bouquet. Apparently, there was an entire language of flowers, full length books detailing the different symbolic meanings of the flowers.

He had admittedly felt like a bit of an idiot until the woman, a brunette with kind blue eyes in a bright yellow apron, had patiently asked a few questions about who exactly the flowers were for. After Dean ended up rambling for ten minutes about how sweet and kind and mind-blowingly smart and handsome Cas was, she arranged a beautiful bouquet that was perfect.

Pale blue peonies made up the majority of the bouquet along with darker blue chrysanthemums. They were complemented by immaculate white roses and white lilies.

It was perfect for Cas. The blues reminded Dean of Cas' heavenly blue eyes while the white blooms were reminiscent of the wings of angels that Dean inexplicably associated with Cas.

He just needed to work up the nerve to give Cas the bouquet. It was much harder than he thought it would be.

He ended up pacing in his office, pausing every so often to glance over at the bouquet he had gingerly set on his desk as doubt started creeping into his head. What if Cas hated them? What if he thought Dean was an idiot for ever thinking their relationship could be anything more than platonic?

With a heavy sigh, he tugged his phone out of his pocket and snapped a quick picture of the bouquet. He sent the picture to Charlie, inquiring, What do you think?

Omg Dean those are perfect! Charlie announced a mere second later. She followed it up with a string of heart eye emojis and an encouraging assurance, He's gonna love them! Almost as much as he loves you 😜

You're an idiot, Dean informed her before closing out of their conversation, his phone buzzing with a new message from someone else. It was Cas.

Just finished up class, Cas informed him, his statement punctuated by a smiley face emoji. I brought leftover pizza if you'd like some. I'll be in my office.

Alright, now or never, Dean thought as he grabbed the bouquet from his desk. With a steeling breath, he left his office and started down the hallway towards Cas'.

He paused outside of Cas' door, taking a few deep breaths to brace himself for whatever might happen. Balling up his fist to let himself into Cas' office, he instructed himself, C'mon, nut up, Winchester.

He hid the bouquet behind his back as he strolled into Cas' office with a bright grin that didn't quite reach his eyes. Cas was sitting at his desk, hunched over his laptop as he munched on a slice of cold reheated pepperoni pizza.

He looked up as Dean entered the room, his face lighting up even as he continued chewing. Pausing in his typing, he waved Dean further into his office, gesturing at one of the two tufted barrel armchairs in front of his desk.

Cas set his slice of pizza down, wiping his hand on a nearby napkin, and stood. He rounded his desk to grab the box of leftover pizza from the coffee table by the old Chesterfield sofa beside one of his bookshelves.

He set his hip against the front of his desk as he set down the box of pizza, opening it to show off its contents. But for once Dean wasn't interested in food.

He made his way over to the front of Cas' desk, ignoring the confusion on Cas' face in favor of taking a deep breath and presenting the bouquet. He felt like a little kid offering a single daisy to his crush, the root still attached along with a clump of dirt.

"What...?" Cas murmured, trailing off as he looked up at Dean, his eyes narrowed in confusion. He glanced between the flowers and Dean's face, then back again.

"They're for you," Dean blurted without any further preamble. "I just thought... You deserved something nice, y'know? And I thought you'd like blue... The, uh, the peonies, I think, they match your eyes... I just— This was stupid, huh? I'm so—"

But before Dean could utter another word, Cas was shooting out his hand to wrap it around Dean's tie and yank him into a kiss. Any and all apologies that Dean had bouncing around his head were silenced as Cas' warm, slightly chapped lips moved against his in a wet glide.

He carefully set down the bouquet on Cas' desk before inching close enough to wrap his arms around Cas' waist, reeling him in closer. Cas hummed contentedly against Dean's lips as the other man enthusiastically returned the kiss.

Charlie was a freaking genius. Dean was sure to tell her that a few hours later.

And the tie? The one that brought out Dean's green eyes? He wore it on their wedding day.

Send me Destiel prompts!

[kaen-ace-of-diamonds]

RWBY VOLUME 5 WISHLIST

OKAY SO 

WITH ONLY A COUPLE WEEKS LEFT UNTIL VOLUME 5 PREMIERES, I’M GETTING HYPED AS FUCK, SO MUCH THAT I HAD TO MAKE A WHOLE POST YELLING ABOUT EVERYTHING I’M EXCITED ABOUT (POTENTIALLY) SEEING IN THE NEW VOLUME

In hindsight, despite knowing logically that nowhere near all of them can/will pop up in one volume, I have more hopes and dreams than I thought, so I’m putting them all under the cut:

- First and foremost, I am SO excited to see more of the new animation! I’ve seen some people criticize how the Volume 4 fight scenes looked, and I don’t know enough about animation or fight choreography to have an opinion on that, but all throughout V4 I was consistently amazed by how much more expressive everyone is now, and how much more depth everything seems to have, if that’s the correct word. And with the Volume 5 trailers looking even cooler, I’m both very impressed with the animation crew and very excited to see what the new volume will look like in full.

- However, I do agree with what seems to be the general consensus about Volume 4′s main problem, which was the pacing. Splitting the team up was a good move for the story, but trying to tell all the main four’s separate stories and properly dealing with the traumas they all suffered in V3 while also introducing a whole host of new characters who need development too AND devoting a chunk of the volume to Ren’s backstory AND adding more worldbuilding? That’s a case of biting off way more than you can chew, and I feel like the volume ended up suffering for it by having simultaneously too much and not enough. Hopefully, bringing everyone into a central location again will make telling Volume 5′s story easier to manage.

- Character development for Ruby! It feels like she’s started to be shunted to the back in her own show (can Jaune just...go away for a little while? He’s a good side character, but that kind of requires him to stay to the damn side), and there’s definitely a lot more to be addressed with her. 

SILVER EYE TRAINING. Or something of that nature. We’ve gone an entire volume since her powers were revealed, and nobody on the heroes’ side has said a thing about it. Has she tried activating them again? Did she even tell anyone else what little Qrow told her? Anything like that?

Consequently, we’ve learned nothing about them either, and when you’re piling on even more lore/worldbuilding like Miles and Kerry did in this volume with the Relics and the Brothers, that’s not a good thing when we barely know anything about what’s already there. 

And I don’t exactly have a number one hope for this volume, but if I did, Ruby angst (for lack of a better term) would be a fierce contender. Like...Ruby’s innocence was shattered in Volume 3. She watched her school, which was supposed to be a safe and happy place, be destroyed, countless people massacred by Grimm, two good friends (and one enemy) die horribly right in front of her, her sister’s confidence crushed, and her team fall apart. And though she tried, though all she wants is to be the hero and protect people from harm, there was nothing she could do about any of it. What that must have done to her can’t be skimmed over with a few seconds of nightmare, a downcast look, and an “I learned something today” letter, and I’m hoping that the psyche of our main protagonist being explored more will be a higher priority in the new Volume.

Related note: please let Penny’s death be given more than one quick mention, @RT I’m begging you

ALSO I CANNOT WAIT FOR YANG TO FIND HER AGAIN, EVERY SCENE OF THESE PERFECT SISTERS ADDS TEN YEARS TO MY LIFE, IT’S GOING TO BE GREAT

LIKE, I’D MAKE A REUNION JOKE, BUT THE BEST ONES WERE ALREADY MADE

- Team RNJR running into Pyrrha’s mother (or other living family?) in Mistral. With communications down, there probably wasn’t a way for anyone at Beacon to tell her what happened, so her teammates will have to be the ones to break it to her that her daughter was killed in action.

 Oh, and that there was no body. Because she was shot point-blank in the chest with a huge arrow and then incinerated. It was bad, Ms. Pyrrha’s Mom. REAL BAD. 

Pyrrha’s Mom: Well, if that’s the case...Did you happen to save any of her personal belongings, so I could have something to remember my daughter by? These things really should go to the family, after all. Maybe her armor? What happened to that?

Ren and Nora: (look at each other, sweating bullets)

Jaune: UHHHH...(hides new sword and shield behind his back, also sweating bullets)

Ruby: ...I had nothing to do with this! You tell her! (rose petals away)

Yes, I know Miles and Kerry said that Pyrrha probably had more than one suit of armor. Yes, I do think the action itself was sweet. Yes, telling her mother that someone took her dead daughter’s stuff without permission and melted it down to use himself would be an awkward situation anyway.

- Speaking of which, maybe a flashback to Ren and Nora’s reactions to finding out that Pyrrha was murdered?

I mean, think about it: the last time either of them saw her, she’d been depressed and nervous about something, then accidentally dismembered a girl in front of a whole stadium, and was too stunned by it to run from a goddamn Nevermore. Then she disappears during the Battle of Beacon, and in the aftermath, on top of everything else that just happened, someone (probably Jaune) tells them she’s dead. And he can’t fully explain why, because he didn’t know what was going on himself. Ouch.

They were her friends, too. How did they take it? We got nothing, not even in the campfire scene where her death is directly addressed. (Because all that mattered were Jaune’s fucking feelings, rIGHT MILES, GOD DAMN IT)

(good God, I need to stop being so bitter, I’m trying to be happy)

- I CANNOT WAIT FOR MORE YANG, GONNA BE GREAT, I CAN��TT WAIT

I’ve seen a whole lot of people complaining that Yang got too little screentime in Volume 4 and that her recovery story was too rushed, and yeah, I can see where they’re coming from, but I feel like we need to look at the big picture for that because I get the sense that Miles and Kerry are building up to something with that

I am almost 100% sure that Yang isn’t actually doing as well as she acts. Remember that before we see her all peppy and energetic and “It feels so natural,” the last scene was her overhearing Taiyang talking about how he would go after Ruby to make sure she’s safe, but he can’t because he has to stay home and look after Yang

Feeling like she’s a burden now and putting on a brave, strong front and acting like she’s suddenly A-okay so that she won’t be, for the sake of her family, is a very Yang thing to do. She’s had to do that for a huge chunk of her life (remember we don’t know exactly how long Taiyang checked out of reality after Summer’s death), and it’s probably an easy coping mechanism for her to fall back into

Easy -- but dangerously unhealthy, especially considering that she’s driving herself right back onto the battlefield. I think we’re headed straight for a relapse/an even bigger breakdown sometime in the future

But before that, I’d love to see her actually having to adjust to having her metal arm. People’s reactions when they see it, how it lacks any sense of touch, how it’s going to need some amount of maintenance, all that good stuff

And most importantly, the new arm did fine while she was practicing with Tai, but how is it going to fare in an actual battle? How hard of a hit can it take? Can it keep up with Yang’s Semblance? What will happen if it’s not as strong as she thought and she loses her arm again?

Mark my words, that arm is going to blow the fuck up like Edward Elric’s automail, I know it

Also hey perfect opportunity to maybe shine a spotlight on all Yang’s other, non-arm-related issues

- Adding onto that -- holy shit I am so hyped for the Yang/Blake reunion I HAVE TO DO SEPARATE BULLET POINTS FOR IT 

I’m as excited as anyone else for them to be happy together again, but I know perfectly well that that isn’t going to happen right away and quite frankly I will be disappointed if it does

These two have a lot of issues to hash out, both about their relationship and with their own personal problems, so realistically, there’s going to be anger and hurt, there’s going to be betrayed feelings, there’s going to be resentment, and that’s okay

But I’m also hoping that we’ll get to see them work through what’s happened to them, learn to communicate better, and grow as partners by the end of it

AND AS SOON AS THAT’S DONE:

YANG AND BLAKE FIGHTING TOGETHER AFTER MAKING UP. LOCAL PUNK BITCH ADAM TAURUS FOUND DEAD IN MIAMI. 

If not, then I would also happy to see him playing tetherball with Ghira and Kali. He can be the ball.

Seriously, though: please take this moment of your day to imagine Kali Belladonna bashing Adam’s head open with a cast-iron tea kettle. You’re welcome.

Anything to assuage my looming fear that right when everything is looking up for Blake and Company, Adam’s going to just swooce right in and kill her parents

Sun can help too! I wouldn’t be surprised to see him fighting off the Albain brothers and/or Ilia while the power couple Yang and Blake beat the shit out of Adam

And then they can all sit on his corpse and have dumplings together

- Speaking of Sun, I have a very strong feeling that when he finally reunites with his team, he and Neptune will dance again and it will warm my cold dead heart

- SIENNA KHAN BEING THE STRONG, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC TIGRESS FAUNUS WE ALL KNOW SHE CAN BE

- TEAM STRQ TEAM STRQ TEAM STRQ TEAM STRQ TEAM STRQ 

ALLLLLLLL THE TEAM STRQ

MY ANGST-LOVING ASS IS 5000% READY FOR SOME FLASHBACKS

SOMEHOW IT’LL BE EVEN BETTER SEEING THEM YOUNG AND HAPPY KNOWING DAMN WELL THAT THEIR COLLECTIVE RELATIONSHIPS GOES TO ABSOLUTE SHIT BEFORE LONG

It’d be cool to see Tai when he was actually happy and untraumatized

And the twins, too, before they went all Zuko and Azula on each other! What made two kids raised by a bandit tribe decide to go to Beacon? Were they partners? What were their relationships with Tai and Summer like? When the time came, how did they choose between their tribe and their new lives with their team? Did they used to get along better? Were they born into the tribe or adopted into it? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS ABOUT THESE TWO AND I’M SO EXCITED TO KNOW MORE

AND OF COURSE THE MORE I GET TO SEE OF RAVEN IN GENERAL, THE BETTER

BUT EVEN BETTER: I have been wanting to see Summer Rose content for years, and I will die happy if she gets the chance to actually be a good character in her own right instead of another example of the “perfect dead parent” trope

And this would be the perfect way to tie in to Raven and Yang’s story: by bringing up again that Summer was, for all intents and purposes, Yang’s real mother, not the woman who gave birth to her and then Ging Freecss-ed away to go slaughter people

Also I know it has like a 0% chance of becoming a canon ship, but if it turns out that Raven really is working with Salem in some capacity -- 

(which I think she probably is; her loyalty is to her tribe and her responsibilities as its leader, and it would be beneficial for her to be getting information from both Beacon’s side and Salem’s side, so when things really get ugly, she can decide who, if either, will give her people the best chance of surviving to see the dust clear if she allies with them)

-- my Hellbirds-shipping heart will explode if she and Cinder actually share screentime together

I don’t care if their only interaction is, “hi you flash-fried piece of garbage”, (ANGRY WHEEZING NOISES), I’ve made do with rarepairs that have exactly one second of eye contact and nothing else, I will be so happy

- Qrow getting into some AA and therapy because God knows he needs it. Mama Schnee can come too. 

Actually, anything with Mama Schnee being relevant would be very welcome

Whitley proving to be smarter and more manipulative than his father while operating in a self-serving gray area would not go amiss, either. Boy’s got to do something to get out from under the pile of much cooler villains than him

ALSO, I want Winter Schnee to do three things: step on me continue to be badass and beautiful, have more Good Big Sis moments with Weiss, and kick Qrow through a window. Any of those would be lovely :)

- OH I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THE MAIDENS

With the Spring Maiden being brought up as Team WTCH’s next target in V4, I’ll be very surprised if she doesn’t show up at least once in V5, and now that we know the lore surrounding them, I’m curious to see how they are in the real world

Like, unless you’re Cinder or Pyrrha, you don’t choose to become a Maiden, and the concept of being a regular person randomly ending up with huge, world-bending power and having to live with it until you die and potentially being tracked down and murdered for it is really cool

Do they all choose to become fighters, like Amber, or do they try to carry on normal lives and hide their powers?

Since the power is transferred to whoever was in the last Maiden’s dying thoughts, is it possible that there could be Maiden families somewhere in Remnant, who deliberately try to pass on their powers down the family line, from mother to daughter?

And while we know that you can be too old to become a Maiden, is there a minimum age limit? I saw this one theory that the Spring Maiden is going to turn out to be just a little girl, not even a preteen yet, and I think that’s definitely something worth exploring. Like, take everything I said before about the concept of being a Maiden and apply that to a child, and it’s simultaneously cooler and much, much worse

And the idea of someone like Tyrian hunting down a really little kid, to either be killed or used as a Tykebomb by Salem, is just fucking horrifying; please keep him away from any and all children

Finally here’s something I’ve been wondering since V4 started: can a single person inherit more than one Maiden’s power? Since I’m assuming they all have different sets of abilities. Does Salem intend to find three other candidates to steal each Maiden’s power, or is Cinder supposed to assume the powers of all four Maidens to save her the trouble?

That would be an interesting move for Cinder’s character arc...She’s the girl who wants power, and so she steals more and more and eventually winds up taking in so damn much power that she can’t handle it, and in the end, it destroys her

- Speaking of which: THE VILLAINS. GIVE ME ALL THE VILLAIN SCREENTIME.

- I need Team WTCH content, I know we’ll probably be getting plenty of it but I need it like breath

Tyrian with his hair down? Maybe? 

I’m interested to see whether he’s still traumatized by Salem telling him his kidnapping skills suck, or whether this happens often enough that he’s bounced back by now

As much as I talk about wanting to find out where Cinder’s obsessions came from, I think out of the whole team, I want to see Tyrian’s backstory the most. Just what in the hell fucked his head up so bad and made him so devoted to Salem? The others fear and respect her, Tyrian worships her -- why?

Hazel’s little moments of compassion/morality -- being the only team member not to make fun of Cinder and helping out Oscar purely because he felt like it -- really interest me, and coupled with the fact that he’s definitely probably the one who killed Summer Rose and I could listen to William Orendorff’s voice of a god for hours, I’d love to see more of him

And on the complete opposite end of the "niceness” spectrum, I’m looking forward to seeing Watts be a complete dick for the whole volume probably more than I should

I see all your jokes about how he’ll eventually lose his mustache to Ruby and I’ll raise you the reveal that the mustache was really a gun the whole time. That’s his Semblance, his mustache turns into a gun

(I’m also curious to see how a Kingdom/Academy already influenced by Salem in some way operates. With the knowledge from World of Remnant that Mistral in general isn’t a kind country, and the reveal that Haven’s headmaster is on Salem’s side (willingly or not), the place is giving me real Town With A Dark Secret vibes already and we’ve barely seen it, it’s looking to be really cool)

More interactions between these four in general I’d love, but what would be really great to see would be a flashback to how Cinder fit into the group pre-Silver-eyed-ass-whooping, when she was still confident and could still talk back to them 

I mean, I seriously doubt it will happen but if we get an “Beginning of the End”-style flashback episode showing how they all ended up with Salem, I will flip a fucking table that would be so cool

- But even more than that, I will sell my soul for more scenes with Cinder, Emmy, and Merc, do you hear me RT, those three aRE MY FUCKING LIFE

Personally, I’d love to see just a quiet, normal scene with the three of them, without Salem or WT_H, showing off how their team dynamic has changed now that Cinder’s hurt and vulnerable and they’re all stuck in hell together until Cinder is ungrounded

Seeing more of Emerald acting as Cinder’s voice/caretaker. One more reason I think that this is the absolute best direction they could have gone with Cinder is that her relationship with Emerald has been turned completely upside down. Before, Cinder was in control of everything, easily, and her emotional manipulation of Emerald centered around the fact that she was the one who took her off the streets and gave her food, work, shelter, a place to belong (I’m trying to keep it brief, but I could write so much more on how Emerald’s self-worth is tied directly to Cinder), with the implied message being, “You owe me your life, your happiness; where would you be if I hadn’t chosen you?” Now? Cinder’s life has spun entirely out of control, and she’s forced to rely on Emerald for the most basic things. Where would she be, now, if Emerald decided to leave her? My guess is, Emerald probably has mixed feelings about the whole thing, but this has got to grate on Cinder like nothing else

Cinder moving on from fire and starting to try and master all the other bending disciplines Maiden powers. AVATAR STATE, YIP YIP

Mercury taming those goddamn monstrosities above his eyes, good Lord

But seriously though, let my boy talk again 

(and maaaaaaybe tell us where those metal legs came from? I will bet actual money that it was Marcus, I’m not even kidding)

Finding out just what the hell Salem has been doing to Cinder to heal her injuries (my money’s on that ugly ass sleeve coming off to reveal a monstrous Grimm arm, because hey, Salem might not always have looked like that either and that little Grimm beetle Cinder used to steal Amber’s power had to have disappeared to somewhere) 

Since I’m guessing speech therapy isn’t a part of Salem’s treatment plan, maybe Cinder will start learning sign language so she doesn’t have to rely on Emerald all the time? 

(muffled sounds of Neo parasoling through the sky in the distance)

- And of course I’m looking forward to the eventual Ruby-Cinder fight, but there’s one thing I started wondering about while working on Homecoming...

Does Ruby have any idea what her Silver Kamehameha did to Cinder? She does seem to be under the impression that Cinder’s still alive. Did Emerald and Mercury grab her and get out before anyone could see? Not that she’d care, but does Cinder know that Ruby didn’t deliberately attack her? Is Ruby even going to recognize her when they meet again? Because if Cinder goes through months upon months of obsessing over how much she hates Ruby and how she needs to get revenge, and then when she finally catches up to her all Ruby can say is something like, “Who are you, again?”, she’s going to actually explode and I will die laughing

- SALEM. Just...More Salem. 

Her whole Evil Team Mom/Unholy Grimm Queen thing is something I really like and find unique, but now that we know what she’s like, what I think we need to know more about is what she’s capable of

What other powers does she have besides controlling Grimm and walking like she’s got a hoverboard under her dress? What drew Team WTCH to her, and how else does she keep them in line? She wanted Ruby alive, so what does she plan to do with her when she gets her hands on her? 

Why, above all, should we fear Salem as our main villain? Seriously though, I want this woman to scare the shit out of me at least once this volume

I’d mention whatever backstory she and Ozpin have together but I don’t think about that part as much and I feel like it’s going to be cool whatever it is

However, I am dying for the moment when she finds out that the reports of Ozpin’s demise have been greatly exaggerated. I imagine it’ll happen Lion King-style.

Salem: Why, my dear Ozpin, I’m a little surprised to see you...(turns around to glare death at Cinder) ...ALIVE. (thunder booms in the distance)

Cinder, trying to subtly hide behind Emerald and Mercury: (GULP)

Meanwhile Oscar has exactly zero idea what is going on and is just praying that the scary Grimm woman and the angry fire girl aren’t going to hurt him, pray for my baby boy, he didn’t do shit to deserve this

- And to finish all this off: ME IF I SEE ONE HINT OF A REDEMPTION ARC IN THIS VOLUME:

Really, though, I see a ton of posts about it, but I don’t think it’s going to happen; the only one I could see realistically leaving the bad guys’ side at some point is Ilia, maybe

I’m not going to get into it too much because I’ve typed for too long already and I’m sure you’re starting to get bored with me by now, but yeah, Emerald and Mercury aren’t going to up and run so easily, Cinder doesn’t actually give a shit about other people, Raven is (most likely) going to stick to her own agenda no matter what, Adam will be a punk bitch until the day he dies, and all that

The way the narrative is going, I just don’t think redemption arcs for any of the villains would make any sense, at least right now

- BUT YEAH I’VE GOT MY TICKET TO SEE THE PREMIERE IN THEATERS AND DESPITE MY OCCASIONAL HANG-UPS WITH THE WRITING I HAVE 100% FAITH IN THE CRWBY TO GIVE US SOMETHING GREAT, NO MATTER WHAT

Now, off to go rest my cramping hand...

[athanzafirovwinefood]

All about caps! A small tour of the different shutters.

The winemaker, winemaker, neologist, work all year to allow you to taste wines without defects and often good! But today there remains one last element that can have a decisive influence on the evolution of the wine and its taste: the shutter used! Thus a plug can negate the year of work of the winemaker. Indirect contact with the wine, the stopper will have to work towards its aging and its blossoming for an optimal tasting.

Who does not like the sound of "Plop" when the corkscrew releases the famous sesame from the bottle. Cork is a material with many technical qualities, it is lightweight, waterproof, compressible, elastic, good thermal and acoustic insulation, practically rot-proof and very resistant to friction. These many features give it a first choice use.

The first proof of the use of cork in the wine world goes back to the 1st century BC, indeed, an amphora found at Ephesus was filled with a piece of cork and contained traces of wine. At the end of the Roman Empire, the amphoras are replaced by barrels that facilitate the transport and service of wine directly in a pitcher. Cork for wine use will be neglected for a long time.

We will find its use in the 17th century with the invention and use of glass bottles that will revolutionize the consumption of wine and its trade with the English and Dutch.

In the 2000s, the market for cork stoppers experienced a significant drop in quality. The excesses were numerous and a drop of rigor on the part of manufacturers was noted. At that time, there was a large number of corked bottles and runners. He followed the increase of screw caps, synthetic stoppers on the market of shutters. In order not to disappear, the corkers had to increase their quality controls and the sourcing of their raw material.

According to the definition, a shutter is an object whose function is to block an opening. But in wine and wine, bottling is a decisive moment.

Every year in the world about 17 billion bottles are blocked, 60% of these bottles are corked.

We can differentiate several types of closures:

-Micro-agglomerated cork powder corks.

-Concrete corks based on "granules" of cork.

-Synthetic closures.

Traditional corks

The main producer and exporter of cork products worldwide are Portugal. This country produces 50% of the cork in the world, in front of Spain 30%. The production of cork takes place around the Mediterranean basin, France also has some subseries: Corsica, Var or Pyrénées-Orientales, but these have been neglected for high maintenance costs and corks less suitable for corked wines. However, in recent years initiatives have helped to restore the subseries, French. Some cork producers use cork from France for technical corks (agglomerates, micro-agglomerates).

The cork oak (Quercus Suber) is a unique tree because its bark regenerates once extracted. Contrary to what is said, the oaks are not cut to harvest the cork, only the bark is removed. Harvesting takes place from mid-May until the end of August. According to the French Cork Federation (Planète Liège), an exploited cork oak captures twice as much CO2 as any tree.

The first "debarking" (first emergence of cork) of the tree takes place between 25 and 30 years after planting. Then comes the second debarking which takes place at least 9 years later. During the first 2 lifts, the cork is irregular and is not suitable for the cork industry. Its elastic and mechanical qualities are insufficient.

The third lift (9 years after at least) will have the appropriate qualities for the manufacture of cork for no logical use.

From then on, the cork will be lifted at least every 9 years regularly. A cork oak can undergo about fifteen decors. Of course, the peeling will vary depending on the area of operation of the cork. Catalan or Sardinian coffins will grow slower than some Portuguese.

The planks thus harvested will be stored in the open air for a minimum of 6 months. Subsequently, they will be boiled in clean water tanks, this operation will clean the boards and remove some substances (tannins and minerals). This boiling will permanently straighten the undulations of the boards and make them more regular. Subsequently, the cork will be stored and different operations will take place.

Here comes the moment of "casing" which is done directly in the cork planks using automatic or manual machines driving a rotary punch of the desired diameter. The plug will undergo different sorts and dimensional fixes.

The washing of the stoppers will take place next. This is an optional operation that can be done more or less intensively. This washing is intended to clean and disinfect cork again by eliminating microorganisms that may contribute to certain defects or deviations. The washing is carried out using hydrogen peroxide (hydrogen peroxide) or peracetic acid in dilute solutions which whitens the stoppers. But today it is not fully proved the washing's ease, which has an aesthetic vocation and masks the defects of cork. A white cap is not necessarily a sign of quality.

The analytical checks will take place after the washing of the caps. Will be analyzed TCA, TCA, TCB which are the molecules directly responsible for the cork tastes. There are of course other molecules that are precursors to organoleptic deviations.

Following these checks, the marking of the cap will be done in most cases on fire or ink.

Marking done, the cap will receive a surface treatment composed of paraffin and/or silicone. This operation will ensure the sealing of plugs (paraffin by its insulating power), to obtain a regular sinking during bottling and easy unclogging (silicone by its role of reducing friction forces).

After washing the plugs will have to be checked again:

The manufacture of the cap is a real art that requires special attention from the substrate to clogging and where each action must be controlled.

Technical stoppers

These plugs are often called "natural plugs clogged" they have a large number of lenticels and are subjected to a clogging operation with a mixture of binder and cork powder. It aims to improve the visual appearance of the cap.

These corks are intended for wines with very fast rotation because they have low qualities and densities. When the clogging is poorly controlled, cork powder can be found in the bottle.

These granules are calibrated and glued with the help of specific glues suitable for food contact. Various industrial processes are used for the manufacture of agglomerated plugs (extrusion or molding). These are used, among others, for some still wines with a shelf life of fewer than 6 months. These are quality cork granules (in particular, those resulting from the trituration of casing falls or the cutting of washers) which are part of the composition of agglomerated corks. When the cork is crushed it is disinfected with the help of the water vapor which makes it possible to reduce the part of the molecules responsible for certain organoleptic deviations.

These corks have a vocation to stop wines with rapid rotation. They have the advantage of being inexpensive and having a reliable mechanical homogeneity. The cork is first milled very finely and reconstituted with a binder suitable for food contact. It cork comes from boards called "weak" and rejected. The disinfection with water vapor will be the same as before.

A French company has thus developed micro-agglomerates with numerous advantages, in particular by guaranteeing their caps without organoleptic deviations (cork tastes, etc.), by using a supercritical CO2 purification and by controlling the permeabilities as on the screw caps. This innovation makes it possible to place this shutter in the court of the high-end shutters and thus to block wines of the guard.

Their launches were made almost 20 years ago. Made from polymer resins, a petroleum derivative, they have the advantage of being less expensive than cork. Today technological improvements have made it possible to have synthetic stoppers of a higher quality and problems of premature oxidation more mastered. These shutters have a homogeneous structure and ensure a lack of deviations.

However, the synthetic remains poorly seen by the consumer, it is for this reason that manufacturers are making efforts to improve the aesthetics of these caps.

This tool consists of an aluminum capsule and a tin gasket (or polymer material) disposed of inside. This plugging solution has had some success in countries like New Zealand, Switzerland, Austria or Australia.

The screw cap is one of the shutters with the greatest number of advantages:

In France, it is little used and is considered as a "low-end" shutter for fast-rotating wines and is accused of not being in step with the wine culture.

According to a study in New Zealand, the screw cap and it's very tight side would keep the aromatic bouquet longer on white wines.

Innovations in the world of shutters are going well and each year new technologies are put forward: control of caps to the unit, biosourced raw material for technical plugs, etc.

So, rather natural Liège? Technical Cork? Synthetic stopper? Screw cap? Everything will depend on the type of wine you want, but do not forget that the cork is a nological tool and it is the last rampart between the bottle, the wine, and the outside, so his choice is decisive. Clogging must be thought of as a nological act. The debate has been launched for many years and it is far from closed, so winegrowers analyze the benefits they derive from each solution and choose the most suitable for their wines.

The cohabitation of different shutters is in my eyes the best solution. Thus, the production of cork will undergo less pressure, drifts that we could see in the past will be rarer; which will preserve quality materials.

Yoann for The Athan Zafirov Wine Blog

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Young passionate Languedoc, graduated from Viticulture Nology in Burgundy. Passing through South Africa, China, and Switzerland. Today, it flourishes in the world of cork. A great lover of wine geography, taste wines of all horizons and share them pleases a lot.

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For 15 years, Athan Zafirov has traveled the vineyards around the world and worked with some of the greatest chefs including Francois Duc and Alan Brown.

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[ziskandra]

PRIORITY OPS: REPOPULATING HELEUS (Ch. 6)

‘reapers’. sara has dismissed that claim (for now). ao3 link. 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 

 6. Til the Cows Come

There was no note this time and Liam was tired of wearing a hole in the floor. He'd done his best to give Sara the breathing room she needed, but the fact of the matter remained: he hadn't heard from her all day, she’d completely blew off their early dinner plans, and he was utterly unable to determine her whereabouts. He wanted nothing more than to be able to trust her. And yet, trust had given way to fear.  What if something’s happened to her? What if she’s cross with me? 

There was one way, a straightforward way, of gathering more intel on where Sara might be, but it still didn’t make him feel any less rubbish for pursuing it. Liam pulled up his omnitool and scrolled through his contacts until he reached the person he was looking for. Bingo. 

Liam: Have you seen Sara lately?

Scott: You know what? I have an idea of where she might be. Meet me in the atrium?  Truth be told, Liam had expected a bit more back-and-forth. Scott tended to make a big song and dance of how he didn’t like to interfere with his sister’s business, and often commented on how people tried to curry favour with him as though it might help them get a direct line of contact with the Pathfinder. Not that Liam needed Sara in any official capacity. He just wanted her. 

The fact that Scott didn't ask for further clarification made Liam's heart sink. His legs felt like lead as he headed out towards his prearranged meeting place with Scott. Sara’s twin gave him a jaunty wave as he spotted Liam from a distance, but when he grew closer he couldn’t help but notice that Scott’s eyes were rather red and puffy. Like he’d been crying. 

Liam clapped an automatic hand to Scott’s shoulder in greeting. “You all right?” he asked, the part of him that worried it wasn’t his place to ask overwhelmed by concern for the other man. 

Scott let out a long, whittling exhale, toying with one of the straps on his trousers. “Yeah. Yeah. All things considered.” He shrugged. “I’m fine.” 

It wasn’t quite the answer Liam had been hoping for, but he did his best to push down his sense of developing dread. He dropped his hand. “Right,” he answered, with just the right amount of disbelief. He wasn’t going to push it. For now. He’d learnt his lesson when it came Ryders and emotions. “So what’s this about Sara?” 

Not quite looking at Liam as he answered, Scott said, “I know where she is. And look, I don’t want to interfere and all that, but…” He trailed off, finally making eye contact with Liam. 

Liam raised an eyebrow. “But?” 

“I think we should probably check on her.” 

“Are you going to tell me why?” Liam asked, as if his mind wasn’t running through all the possible situations in his head. Some people might call it catastrophising, but Liam just called it preparation. Easier to deal with things as they came up if you could consider the possible outcomes. Didn’t stop him from hoping for the best in most situations, anyway, but it was hard, even for him, to think of a good reason for Sara to have disappeared again, especially in such a way that would cause Scott to be so concerned. 

Scott stalled, rocking back on his heels. “Look, if she doesn’t fill you in herself, I will. Promise.” Another deep breath. “I’d like to give her the chance to explain, but…this affects us both. And you’re a friend, Liam. Future family.” He smiled, then, although the expression was strained on his features. Scott’s eyes still looked more-or-less morose. “Well, this will be one hell of an introduction.”  Running a hand through his hair, he asked, “You ready?” 

Adrenaline flooded Liam’s veins as he gave Scott a curt nod. “Yeah. Let’s do this.”  As Scott led the way, Liam followed. 

***

Only one corridor separated them from Alec Ryder's old quarters, and as they made their way down the hall, something crashed, loud and heavy, in the distance. Liam's legs, already walking at a brisk pace, broke out into an instinctive all-out run. He barely registered Scott's yelp of surprise, all but sprinting towards the door. It was locked, because of course it still was, and Liam slammed it furiously with his wrist as though percussive maintenance with his omnitool might magically spring it open,

Then there was a sharp, sudden shove against his chest. He hadn't realised Scott had caught up to him, but it was hard to ignore now that Sara's brother had him pinned against the wall with one arm. Part of him, the part of him that still made him feel like a little kid at war with the world, make a quick assessment of Scott: given the other man's condition, Liam could probably take him in a fight. The other part, the part that had been tempered with time, built bit-by-bit by all the people who had ever told him to think before he acted, realised that Sara would never forgive him if he decided to try and wipe the floor with her brother. His relationship with Sara aside, it still wouldn't be a nice thing to do. The right thing to do.

But why did he still want to do it? He glowered, bristling against the unwanted contact, but did not move. Yet. "If Sara's in there--" he started, desperately fighting to keep the anger out of his voice. He wasn't entirely sure he succeeded.

Scott just looked at him, his gaze maddeningly calm. "She is. But you, running in there like this? It won’t fucking help."

“And what will?” Liam growled, finally pushing back against the arm across his chest. “Are you going to tell me what the hell’s going on, or are you planning to keep me in the dark forever?” 

For what it was worth, Scott stood his ground, barely moving even in the face of Liam’s resistance. The corners of his lips curved downwards. At this proximity, it was easy to see the family resemblance, not only between Scott and his sister, but between Scott and their father. It was an expression Liam had seen plain and clear on Alec Ryder’s face before: one of exasperated disappointment. 

Liam had a hunch that, for some reason, Scott wouldn’t appreciate the comparison. For once, he mercifully managed to keep his mouth shut. “We received some upsetting news regarding our father earlier,” Scott started with as much diplomacy as he could muster.

It was with those words that the pieces of the puzzle began to fall into place. The memory. He knew Sara had been dreading it, had worried about the secrets her father had been keeping, and yet, somehow, Liam hadn’t predicted this outcome. Maybe because from what little he knew of Alec Ryder, he couldn’t imagine him having demons of this magnitude, but mostly because he couldn’t imagine his own father ever keeping anything serious from him. He’d always had a very open relationship with his parents, and it was sobering, sometimes, to be reminded that other people didn’t. “She was worried about it,” Liam added, anger rushing out from him like he was a punctured balloon. 

Scott mirrored his body language, dropping his shoulders and taking a step back. Liam was grateful for the breathing room. “Yeah. And I don’t think either of us were ready for the truth.” 

With those words, Liam felt the crushing weight against his chest again, but Scott hadn’t even moved. He found himself fumbling, echoing his earlier words. “You all right?” 

Scott smiled ruefully. “All things considered. Feeling better?” 

Taking a deep breath to keep himself calm, Liam answered, “Yeah. I am. Thanks.”

“Any time,” Scott answered, turning away from Liam and pulling out his omnitool. “Now, this room is supposed to be sealed for anyone other than the Pathfinder, but I was holed up here for a few days, so I’ve still got access.” He waved his arm. “And we’re in.”

The door slid open with a mechanical hiss, and Liam steeled himself for whatever they might discover. The room was not dissimilar to those found in any number of prefabs across the galaxy, a cozy living space. He only barely registered the model ships, the guns on display on a far wall, before noticing the figure sat slumped against one of the low walls of the kitchenette. 

Sara. 

It was all he could do to stop himself from crying out in pain. Out of the corner of his eye, he swore he could see Scott’s face tremble. They approached her cautiously with slow, soft footsteps, even though it went against every fibre of Liam’s building. Sara’s hair had fallen out of its usual ponytail and she flicked the hair-tie against her wrist as she looked up at them. 

If Liam had suspected Scott had been crying, there was no question about it when it came to Sara. She hadn’t bothered to wipe her face, and the tear tracks were still prominent on her cheeks. “Hey, guys,” she said softly, looking between them almost as though she couldn't believe they were real. “What are you doing here?"

“We were worried about you—" Liam started as Scott simultaneously answered.

“You missed your dinner date.” 

Liam frowned. “How did you know about—?” 

“I told him,” Sara interrupted, slowly putting her hair back up into a messy bun. She bit her lip. “I just figured, if I had someone wondering where I was… I didn’t mean it like this, I swear,” she assured them with a shaky laugh, and Liam squatted down beside her on the floor, frowning as he fought to avoid the shards of something at his feet. 

“I know you didn’t, love,” he said, hovering by her side with just enough space between them for her to close the distance if she so desired. She did.

Head leaning against his chest, she closed her eyes and whispered, “I didn’t think it would be like this.”

Liam pressed a kiss to her hair. “I know. I know.” 

Somewhere above them, Scott cleared his throat. Liam, who had half-forgotten about Sara’s brother, glanced up guiltily. Some of Scott’s old humour was back in his eyes, and he reached out for Sara with one hand. “Let’s get you cleaned up, okay?” 

Scrambling to his feet, Liam held onto Sara’s other arm as she nodded, and together, the two of them hoisted her upright, until she was standing somewhat steadily on her feet. “Come on. Up and at them,” he said, steering her towards the bed. Scott let go of his sister, mumbling something about gathering up the mess. 

They sat down together, side-by-side, and Liam instinctively wrapped an arm around Sara, who leaned back against him in return. “How you feeling?” he asked, because he barely knew where to begin, but had to start somewhere. 

“Better,” Sara admitted, inclining her head slightly at Liam’s disbelieving look. If this was better, Liam could barely imagine what she had been like before. His heart ached for her, and he wished there was something he could do that would make things even more better. Betterer. That wasn’t a word. But still. He barely knew what had happened and he felt like crying. He blinked back the tears. Sara didn’t need him falling apart right now. “I’ve cried it all out. Acted it out.” She canted her head back to where Scott was gesturing angrily at one of the vacuum cleaners with one hand and grappling with the garbage disposal with the other. 

“What was that?” Liam asked, brow furrowed. 

Sara smiled, surprisingly triumphant. “Dad’s coffee machine.”

Now, that wasn’t the answer he’d been expecting. “Do you want to talk about it?” He would always ask, he determined, so that she’d be able to say yes when she really needed to. Just like their conversation late last night, he almost thought she would refuse. Her eyes skittered over his shoulder, and he followed her gaze. When his gaze met Scott’s, the other man quickly busied himself with his clean-up once more, but the gesture was enough to make Scott’s words ring loudly in Liam’s ears. If she doesn’t fill you in, I will.

He took one of her hands in his own, gently running his thumb over her skin. 

“Not really,” Sara started, eyes crinkling, “but I should. Just…” She took a deep, shuddering breath before she continued. “Remember how I said that it sounded like Dad had done something terrible? It’s… it’s Mom.” Before Liam’s mind could draw further dramatic conclusions, Sara thankfully continued, but not before rubbing at her eyes. “She’s alive. God, that feels weird to say.”

The gears turned in Liam’s head, but he struggled to parse what Sara had just said. “What do you mean, she’s alive?” Sara didn’t talk about her mother much, but he still knew the basics. Everyone did. Alec Ryder’s wife had passed away before the final push towards Andromeda, and the man hadn’t quite been the same since. 

“I know, it sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it? I mean, I — we — went to her funeral.” Liam spotted Scott busying himself again in his peripheral vision. “We really thought she was gone. But, nope!” Sara’s mouth thinned as she made an exaggerated motion with both hands. Surprise! “Turns out dear old Dad popped her into cryo at the eleventh hour, and she’s here with us in Andromeda. Alive.” 

Scott chose that moment to wander back over, dusting off his hands as he did so, decidedly done with the pretence of not listening in. “But we can’t wake her up unless we find a cure for her disease. And even with SAM’s help? That’s going to be a toughie.” 

“Hm,” Sara said, a non-committal noise. 

“You’re thinking of doing it, aren’t you?” Scott accused. “God, Sara, it’s not your responsibility.” 

“And what’s the alternative? Just leave her in there, let fate take its course?” Sara steadied her shoulders, glaring at Scott as he settled down on her other side. 

“Well, it’s an alternative,” Scott grumbled, fingers fidgeting on his lap, as though his thoughts had physical manifestations which he could grapple. 

“Not a good one,” Sara persisted. “I won’t allow it. I can’t.” 

Liam listened quietly to their back-and-forth, not sure of where to interject, or even if he should. He felt uselessly out of place, out of his depth. This will be one hell of an introduction. As it turned out? Scott hadn’t been kidding. Alec Ryder had faked his wife’s death to his own kids? He could scarcely believe it.

Liam didn’t know what he could do, how he could help, and it haunted him. For now, he settled for holding Sara.

He hoped it would be enough. 

“You’ve already done so much,” Scott complained. “ You saved everyone you could. It’s alright, you know, to just let this one thing happen as it should. It’s not your responsibility.” Liam frowned. The one thing just happened to be the livelihood of their own mother. But he couldn’t pretend to know what he would think if he was in Scott’s shoes. And if the way Sara twisted in his arms was any indication, she didn’t exactly agree with her twin.

Sara’s chin jutted out in stubborn determination as she lifted her head to look at Scott. “But it is. All of it. Dad decided that, when he named me Pathfinder. He wanted me to save her. Those were his last words, remember? Everyone else was just a bonus.” Although she smiled, it stretched thin, and Liam could feel her shoulders shake underneath him. He held her tighter. “It is my responsibility. Every single bit of it.” 

A sudden flash of anger crept into Scott’s eyes as he snapped, “Dad never really cared about us.” 

Sara frowned, shoving at Scott with one shoulder, pulling Liam along for the movement. “Don’t say that,” she scolded. 

“Did you hear what you said? You were dying—"

“I don’t want to fight about this,” Sara said quietly, looking down at her hands. “He brought us here so we could be a family. A family, Scott.” 

Scott snorted, dissatisfied, but let the matter drop. His hands were balled into fists atop his legs, and Liam found himself wishing he could hug him too. Would have offered, too, if he thought it would help any. Liam’s leg jittered where he sat, nervous energy building under the layer of tension that permeated the room. 

“Liam?” Sara ventured tentatively into the silence. Liam jolted, as though he’d forgotten he was in the room. 

“Yeah?” he asked, hyper-aware of Scott’s eyes boring a hole in the side of his skull.

“What do you think I should do?” 

It was the question he’d been afraid of. Truth be told, he didn’t have the resources for dealing with a situation like this. Crisis response, he mused, hadn’t exactly trained him for these sort of problems. He didn’t even have the words to console her, and he hated that. It’s fucked up was about all he could say in regards to the situation. Only managed to stop himself because he wasn’t sure if it would just make things worse. He tried to run the sentiment through his mental filters. He’d never experienced anything like this — never would — but he could do his best to be empathetic. 

“It’s not up to me,” he started gently, fingers running assuringly over Sara’s leg, just above her knee. 

“But if it was?” Sara persisted. 

“I’d like the closure,” Liam admitted. “But whatever you decide, just know that I’m behind you. One hundred percent.”

Sara winced, which wasn’t the reaction Liam had been quite expecting, but he went with it anyway. “That goes for you, too,” Liam said, with a nod in Scott’s direction. “This wasn’t what I had in mind when I thought about getting to know each other better, but it’s what we have. We have each other.”

Scott’s shoulders drooped as he exhaled loudly. “I let my temper get the better of me,” he started.

“It happens,” Liam said with a shrug, because he’d be a hypocrite if he didn’t understand, just a little, how Scott was feeling in that moment. Remembered just who it was who had talked him down from his own frustration earlier. 

“Still. I’m sorry and I mean it. You’re a good man, Kosta,” he said before getting to his feet. 

“Try to be,” Liam answered, still wondering if it would be enough. Sara reached for his hand and squeezed it reassuringly. 

“No matter what happens,” Scott said, shifting his weight from foot to foot, “we’re already a family.   Remember that, Sare. I’m glad I could be here with you. Both of you.”

Liam found himself overwhelmed by the unexpected acceptance, and his brain, so often unable to shut up, was almost bereft of a response. But only almost. “You really are Sara’s brother,” he exclaimed, half-awed.

“Liam,” Sara said, swatting at his thigh. She was blushing. 

Scott busied himself with his omnitool, as though trying to give them their privacy. Yet, the smallest of smiles played upon his lips. “Well, then. I think I’ll leave you two to it. Now, do you reckon Gil will still be awake?” 

Sara frowned. Liam took the moment to answer. “He never sleeps, so probably?” 

“Excellent.” Scott said, clapping his hands together. “Take care of each other, all right?” 

“Will do,” Sara assured him with a soft smile.

They both watched as Scott departed, a little spring in his step as his fingers flew, answering a returned message.

“So, that’s a thing?” Sara asked, bemusement evident on her features.

“I don’t…probably?” Liam said as Sara lay back on the bed, nestling her head against the pillows. He stretched out beside her, carefully crossing their limbs only in the places that she preferred, enthralled, as always, by just how magnificent and beautiful and strong she was, inside and out. He still wished he could do more, but for now? This would have to suffice.

“You are,” Sara said abruptly, words skittering across the shell of his ear as he laid his head besides her. 

“I’m what?” 

“A good man,” Sara told him. “I still don’t know what I’m going to do, but your support? It still makes me feel like anything’s possible.” 

The words caused warmth to bloom in Liam’s chest. 

He was enough. 

[trendingnewsb]

5 Insanely Important Jobs (We’re Running Out Of People For)

Supply and demand should ensure that we never run out of people to do the really key jobs. If there was a dire shortage of, say, potato chip flavor developers (don’t panic, this is strictly theoretical), chip companies would make the salary and perks of the job more attractive, colleges would hype up the benefits of majoring in flavor science, and new blood would enter the field, bringing with them the caramel-and-Worcestershire-sauce-flavored Pringles we truly deserve. But reality is nowhere near that efficient, and we are running out of people for some especially vital jobs. For example …

5

Old Programmers Are Dying Off … And Taking Their Computer Languages With Them

As far as we’re concerned, computers are magic. We don’t know the technical details of what goes down when we order a book from Amazon or stream truly shocking amounts of pornography, and frankly, we don’t want to. That’s why we have computer programmers. They do all the important behind-the-scenes work that lets us take complicated technology for granted, and they give us someone to complain about when that technology fails and we can’t stream Gilmore Girls on our toaster at three in the morning.

But there’s a problem: An enormous amount of our financial data is stored on systems still running ancient programming. Roughly three trillion dollars a day runs through computers still operating on COBOL, a language that was developed in 1959. Everything from ATMs to credit card networks to mortgage payments rely on a system that makes calculator watches look like absurd science fiction. And the majority of people who know how to fix the many problems with COBOL are getting ready to meet their programmers.

Via Fossbytes.comSo sleep tight knowing that your paycheck could depend on a program that looks like it should be threatening Matthew Broderick with nuclear annihilation.

It’s not as simple as moving everything onto a more modern infrastructure. At this point, the financial system is so intertwined with its COBOL roots that it would be like trying to simultaneously replace all of your veins with fiber optics. A switchover is theoretically possible, but if something goes wrong, the financial data for millions of people could vanish.

Read Next

The Secret History Of The French Horse-Butt Sniper

Since it would be impractical to make everyone temporarily withdraw all of their money until the problem is fixed, geriatric programmers are making good money running firms that specialize in COBOL. Meanwhile, the industry is rushing to train young programmers (and rehire the old guys they fired because they thought their skills were obsolete). Further compounding the problem is that programmers of the original COBOL systems rarely wrote handbooks, and deciphering someone else’s computer code 40 years later is like trying to communicate an elaborate sexual fantasy via slide whistles.

And it’s not only banking. NASA once desperately needed to find programmers who knew Fortran to communicate with their Voyager probes. These are by no means insurmountable problems, so don’t panic and put all of your money in Dogecoins tomorrow. But it’s kind of like suddenly discovering that we have to teach thousands of people Latin to prevent the English language book industry from collapsing.

4

The Demand For Oncologists Skyrockets While Supply Plummets

We’re living longer than ever, and while that’s mostly awesome, it does have some downsides. Now that we’re not frequently devoured by wolves, we have to deal with other, increasingly common causes of death, like heart disease or insisting that you could kick everyone’s ass in a hot dog eating contest. And then there’s cancer.

We need oncologists more than ever, and that’s a problem, since burnout is taking a serious toll on that profession. We’re estimated to be short 2,500 to 4,000 oncologists by 2020. The burnout can be physical — you’re constantly required to stay up to date on lab results, deal with sudden calls from patients at all hours of the day, and fight for settlements with insurance companies — but there’s also the emotional exhaustion of forming close bonds with suffering patients, having to break difficult news to them, and in some cases, watching them die.

Association of American Medical CollegesThe news isnt really great for other specialties, either.

We need to increase the number of America’s oncologists by an estimated 40 percent by 2025 merely to keep up with the need. Improving medical care is going to make us better at surviving other diseases, which means more people are going to be confronting nature’s final boss. To close the gap between the high retirement rates and new trainees entering the field, we’ll need hundreds more people to enter oncology programs each year. And we’re currently losing them hand over fist. So if you’re getting ready for med school and have no issues with emotionally crushing situations, we’ve found a promising career for you.

3

We’re Short On Farm Labor Because It’s Such A Terrible Job

85 percent of farm laborers are immigrants, and roughly 70 percent of those immigrants are undocumented. And between 2009 and 2016, that workforce decreased by three million people due to deportation. Those who do remain are growing older, and there might not be anyone to replace them.

OK, but isn’t that the whole point of deporting undocumented immigrants? To free up jobs for unemployed citizens? In theory, yes … but not enough Americans looking for work want to get into farming. It’s exhausting, physical labor with long hours in harsh weather. One farm started offering Americans $20 an hour, but still couldn’t retain workers. 401(k)s? Health insurance? Generous bonuses? None of it makes up for the fact that the work blows, despite what Stardew Valley told you about the appeal of quitting your office job to live in the country.

Norma FloresBut hey, free housing … assuming youre OK with living in dilapidated communal barracks.

With demand vastly exceeding supply, farmers have had to rethink what they can afford to grow and harvest. Nuts, for example, can be harvested by machines, but peaches require the delicate touch of a human. But replacing human labor with machines means that only a minuscule fraction of employees will be needed in the future. So an entire industry will up and vanish, and then we’ll have to think of some new problem to blame immigrants for.

2

Nobody Wants To Be A Skilled Manufacturer Anymore

While the United States undeniably has a shortage of skilled jobs that provide stability and security, there’s also a huge, undiscussed problem in the opposite direction. We don’t have enough people trained to do skilled manufacturing jobs.

MixabestShocking how no one wants a career that will obviously be done by humans forever.

That means factory work, machine maintenance, melting Terminators in giant vats of liquid metal, etc. Up to two million of those jobs will go unfilled over the next decade just because people aren’t trained for them. We’re literally running out of people who know how to make things that aren’t Minecraft videos and snarky Tweets. Do you remember Trump saying that he wanted to bring good jobs back from overseas? Factory CEOs turned around and told him that those jobs are already here, but vacant.

Why the shortage? Well, corporations cracked down on unions, which lowered wages and led to the perception that manufacturing jobs, even skilled ones, were boring, repetitive positions for lower-class bozos. So colleges started de-emphasizing manufacturing skill sets, and graduates in relevant fields, like mechanics and engineering, started dropping accordingly. The industry is turning to automation, but factories still need employees to install and maintain those machines, and even those employees are missing.

Mixabest*cough*

If you’re a cartoonish conservative stereotype loudly wondering why “America doesn’t build things anymore,” it’s not because of them lousy foreigners. It’s because corporations neglected those jobs, and now nobody wants to do them anymore.

1

We Don’t Have Nearly Enough Pilots To Meet Our Demand For Air Travel

Air travel is perhaps the modern luxury that we most take for granted. It is a damn wonder that we hurtle through the sky at will, but tell that to the tired, grumpy people in economy. Or wait, maybe you won’t have to, because we’re running out of people who know how to operate those magical flying machines, to the point where flights are getting cancelled due to a lack of pilots. Obviously there’s a lot of training required before you can be trusted with the controls of a jet-powered carrier of human lives. In fact, after the crash of Colgan Air Flight 3407 (a disaster partly attributed to insufficient pilot training), the people in charge got together and said, “Hey, maybe we should re-examine how much experience pilots need before we let them take off in these soaring hunks of metal and fire that actively defy God.”

Bureau of Aircraft Accident Archives50 dead bodies do usually lead to some reevaluation.

The result was a whopping 500 percent increase in the amount of flight time required before you can pilot a passenger or cargo plane. That’s great from a safety standpoint. The more experienced the better, right? But the unfortunate side effect is that it’s turned people away from wanting to become pilots in the first place. Those new requirements, and the north of $100,000 price tag that comes along with all that education and training, make simply becoming an accountant and buying a flight simulator look a lot more appealing.

Boeing predicts that over 600,000 pilots are going to be needed over the next 20 years to fill a demand that’s already forced one regional airline into bankruptcy. The aviation industry is trying to respond by offering increased pay and sign-on bonuses, but that’s mucking things up for another industry that needs pilots: the military. In 2017, the Air Force announced a “national aircrew crisis” which left them 1,555 pilots short of what they need, and the best thing you can say about that is that Top Gun 2 might actually be topical.

Check out Dwayne’s Facebook and Twitter accounts, where you can see the famous musicians he interviews for Revue Magazine. T.W. would like you to consider checking out the International Committee of the Red Cross. They do pretty cool stuff. Nathan Kamal lives in Oregon and writes there. He co-founded Asymmetry Fiction for all your fiction needs.

It’s not, NOT worth your time to learn COBOL, here’s a beginner’s book.

If you loved this article and want more content like this, support our site with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/article_25132_5-insanely-important-jobs-were-running-out-people-for.html

from Viral News HQ http://ift.tt/2FSjAI6 via Viral News HQ

[trendingnewsb]

5 Insanely Important Jobs (We’re Running Out Of People For)

Supply and demand should ensure that we never run out of people to do the really key jobs. If there was a dire shortage of, say, potato chip flavor developers (don’t panic, this is strictly theoretical), chip companies would make the salary and perks of the job more attractive, colleges would hype up the benefits of majoring in flavor science, and new blood would enter the field, bringing with them the caramel-and-Worcestershire-sauce-flavored Pringles we truly deserve. But reality is nowhere near that efficient, and we are running out of people for some especially vital jobs. For example …

5

Old Programmers Are Dying Off … And Taking Their Computer Languages With Them

As far as we’re concerned, computers are magic. We don’t know the technical details of what goes down when we order a book from Amazon or stream truly shocking amounts of pornography, and frankly, we don’t want to. That’s why we have computer programmers. They do all the important behind-the-scenes work that lets us take complicated technology for granted, and they give us someone to complain about when that technology fails and we can’t stream Gilmore Girls on our toaster at three in the morning.

But there’s a problem: An enormous amount of our financial data is stored on systems still running ancient programming. Roughly three trillion dollars a day runs through computers still operating on COBOL, a language that was developed in 1959. Everything from ATMs to credit card networks to mortgage payments rely on a system that makes calculator watches look like absurd science fiction. And the majority of people who know how to fix the many problems with COBOL are getting ready to meet their programmers.

Via Fossbytes.comSo sleep tight knowing that your paycheck could depend on a program that looks like it should be threatening Matthew Broderick with nuclear annihilation.

It’s not as simple as moving everything onto a more modern infrastructure. At this point, the financial system is so intertwined with its COBOL roots that it would be like trying to simultaneously replace all of your veins with fiber optics. A switchover is theoretically possible, but if something goes wrong, the financial data for millions of people could vanish.

Read Next

The Secret History Of The French Horse-Butt Sniper

Since it would be impractical to make everyone temporarily withdraw all of their money until the problem is fixed, geriatric programmers are making good money running firms that specialize in COBOL. Meanwhile, the industry is rushing to train young programmers (and rehire the old guys they fired because they thought their skills were obsolete). Further compounding the problem is that programmers of the original COBOL systems rarely wrote handbooks, and deciphering someone else’s computer code 40 years later is like trying to communicate an elaborate sexual fantasy via slide whistles.

And it’s not only banking. NASA once desperately needed to find programmers who knew Fortran to communicate with their Voyager probes. These are by no means insurmountable problems, so don’t panic and put all of your money in Dogecoins tomorrow. But it’s kind of like suddenly discovering that we have to teach thousands of people Latin to prevent the English language book industry from collapsing.

4

The Demand For Oncologists Skyrockets While Supply Plummets

We’re living longer than ever, and while that’s mostly awesome, it does have some downsides. Now that we’re not frequently devoured by wolves, we have to deal with other, increasingly common causes of death, like heart disease or insisting that you could kick everyone’s ass in a hot dog eating contest. And then there’s cancer.

We need oncologists more than ever, and that’s a problem, since burnout is taking a serious toll on that profession. We’re estimated to be short 2,500 to 4,000 oncologists by 2020. The burnout can be physical — you’re constantly required to stay up to date on lab results, deal with sudden calls from patients at all hours of the day, and fight for settlements with insurance companies — but there’s also the emotional exhaustion of forming close bonds with suffering patients, having to break difficult news to them, and in some cases, watching them die.

Association of American Medical CollegesThe news isnt really great for other specialties, either.

We need to increase the number of America’s oncologists by an estimated 40 percent by 2025 merely to keep up with the need. Improving medical care is going to make us better at surviving other diseases, which means more people are going to be confronting nature’s final boss. To close the gap between the high retirement rates and new trainees entering the field, we’ll need hundreds more people to enter oncology programs each year. And we’re currently losing them hand over fist. So if you’re getting ready for med school and have no issues with emotionally crushing situations, we’ve found a promising career for you.

3

We’re Short On Farm Labor Because It’s Such A Terrible Job

85 percent of farm laborers are immigrants, and roughly 70 percent of those immigrants are undocumented. And between 2009 and 2016, that workforce decreased by three million people due to deportation. Those who do remain are growing older, and there might not be anyone to replace them.

OK, but isn’t that the whole point of deporting undocumented immigrants? To free up jobs for unemployed citizens? In theory, yes … but not enough Americans looking for work want to get into farming. It’s exhausting, physical labor with long hours in harsh weather. One farm started offering Americans $20 an hour, but still couldn’t retain workers. 401(k)s? Health insurance? Generous bonuses? None of it makes up for the fact that the work blows, despite what Stardew Valley told you about the appeal of quitting your office job to live in the country.

Norma FloresBut hey, free housing … assuming youre OK with living in dilapidated communal barracks.

With demand vastly exceeding supply, farmers have had to rethink what they can afford to grow and harvest. Nuts, for example, can be harvested by machines, but peaches require the delicate touch of a human. But replacing human labor with machines means that only a minuscule fraction of employees will be needed in the future. So an entire industry will up and vanish, and then we’ll have to think of some new problem to blame immigrants for.

2

Nobody Wants To Be A Skilled Manufacturer Anymore

While the United States undeniably has a shortage of skilled jobs that provide stability and security, there’s also a huge, undiscussed problem in the opposite direction. We don’t have enough people trained to do skilled manufacturing jobs.

MixabestShocking how no one wants a career that will obviously be done by humans forever.

That means factory work, machine maintenance, melting Terminators in giant vats of liquid metal, etc. Up to two million of those jobs will go unfilled over the next decade just because people aren’t trained for them. We’re literally running out of people who know how to make things that aren’t Minecraft videos and snarky Tweets. Do you remember Trump saying that he wanted to bring good jobs back from overseas? Factory CEOs turned around and told him that those jobs are already here, but vacant.

Why the shortage? Well, corporations cracked down on unions, which lowered wages and led to the perception that manufacturing jobs, even skilled ones, were boring, repetitive positions for lower-class bozos. So colleges started de-emphasizing manufacturing skill sets, and graduates in relevant fields, like mechanics and engineering, started dropping accordingly. The industry is turning to automation, but factories still need employees to install and maintain those machines, and even those employees are missing.

Mixabest*cough*

If you’re a cartoonish conservative stereotype loudly wondering why “America doesn’t build things anymore,” it’s not because of them lousy foreigners. It’s because corporations neglected those jobs, and now nobody wants to do them anymore.

1

We Don’t Have Nearly Enough Pilots To Meet Our Demand For Air Travel

Air travel is perhaps the modern luxury that we most take for granted. It is a damn wonder that we hurtle through the sky at will, but tell that to the tired, grumpy people in economy. Or wait, maybe you won’t have to, because we’re running out of people who know how to operate those magical flying machines, to the point where flights are getting cancelled due to a lack of pilots. Obviously there’s a lot of training required before you can be trusted with the controls of a jet-powered carrier of human lives. In fact, after the crash of Colgan Air Flight 3407 (a disaster partly attributed to insufficient pilot training), the people in charge got together and said, “Hey, maybe we should re-examine how much experience pilots need before we let them take off in these soaring hunks of metal and fire that actively defy God.”

Bureau of Aircraft Accident Archives50 dead bodies do usually lead to some reevaluation.

The result was a whopping 500 percent increase in the amount of flight time required before you can pilot a passenger or cargo plane. That’s great from a safety standpoint. The more experienced the better, right? But the unfortunate side effect is that it’s turned people away from wanting to become pilots in the first place. Those new requirements, and the north of $100,000 price tag that comes along with all that education and training, make simply becoming an accountant and buying a flight simulator look a lot more appealing.

Boeing predicts that over 600,000 pilots are going to be needed over the next 20 years to fill a demand that’s already forced one regional airline into bankruptcy. The aviation industry is trying to respond by offering increased pay and sign-on bonuses, but that’s mucking things up for another industry that needs pilots: the military. In 2017, the Air Force announced a “national aircrew crisis” which left them 1,555 pilots short of what they need, and the best thing you can say about that is that Top Gun 2 might actually be topical.

Check out Dwayne’s Facebook and Twitter accounts, where you can see the famous musicians he interviews for Revue Magazine. T.W. would like you to consider checking out the International Committee of the Red Cross. They do pretty cool stuff. Nathan Kamal lives in Oregon and writes there. He co-founded Asymmetry Fiction for all your fiction needs.

It’s not, NOT worth your time to learn COBOL, here’s a beginner’s book.

If you loved this article and want more content like this, support our site with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/article_25132_5-insanely-important-jobs-were-running-out-people-for.html

from Viral News HQ http://ift.tt/2FSjAI6 via Viral News HQ