#and then he brings up his kids and i'm like fuck why was i not born 10 years earlier so i could be in a relationship with this man

[solkver]

airdrop ⋆·˚ ༘ *

chapter 16... ᝰ.ᐟ are the gays done fighting yet?

content warning! written angst under the cut, violence/fighting, slight mentions of blood, lots of profanities, anton and y/n massive anger issues lol

✄┈┈┈┈ october 26, 2024 – 9:27 pm

"y/n" anton begins, hands on his hips, "what the fuck is going on with you and sohee?" a frown graces his features, clearly displeased with the situation.

"nothing" you answer clear as day, eyes honest. it makes anton fume, what do you mean nothing?

"I'm not playing y/n"

"I'm not either" you respond back just as quickly as anton retorts at you, "why are you always playing dumb with me y/n?" anton groans, a hand running through his tousled hair, "just answer me for real"

"nothing, anton. sohee and I are nothing."

anton sighs, frustrated as hell, "so, what? you guys sleep next to each other as friends?" anton dryly chuckles, "hell, you guys aren't even friends" and maybe anton was right, but something about hearing it from him irks you to your bone. but this is anton, your brother, you're never going to succumb to him, "yeah, basically"

"what?" anton asks, stunned.

"I said, we fuck around but thats it"

that seems to hit a nail in anton's head, his brows shoot up and his pupils are blown wide, "get your shit together y/n! he isn't one of your boytoys like before"

you frown at the term used, evidently offended. fuck, it makes your blood boil that anton had been digging at your past relationships from the get go, "sohee is my best friend, y/n. he's not some boy you meet at the bar and bring home"

you click your tongue, stepping closer to the fuming boy, anger levels slowly matching one another, "what if I want him to be my boytoy, then what chanyoung?"

that really does it for the younger, his hands flying to grab at the collar of your shirt, practically puncing on you "don't fucking call me that"

what kind of man were you if not pounce back at your brother, right? you snatch at his wrists and push him back, "what? chanyoung?"

really, you should've just stepped down from the pedestal of your pride because you're reminded just how much stronger anton had become when his fists meet your cheek, "I'm not fucking around, y/n. do you like sohee or not?"

you huff, your left hand cradling your punched cheek while your right grabs at the front of anton's shirt, your faces barely centimeters apart, "it's none of your business" you seethe, spitting a mix of drool and blood on the sand, a couple getting on anton's face before shoving him away and going back into your cabin.

no matter how angry you get at anton, you know better than to hit him back. you were better than that, way better. but with the bruise forming on your cheek, you really second doubt your choices. sigh.

𓏔 i. MASTERLIST 𓏔 ii. BACK 𓏔 iii. NEXT

synopsis! bored sohee decides that airdropping memes at his best friend's gig would be the best way to kill the boredom. much to his luck, the drummer of his best friend's band, who he's been crushing on for years, is the one that got his meme airdropped to.

author's note! DONT JUMP ME FOR THE ANGST AND FIGHTING GUYS 😞😞😞 taglists still open!

taglist! @pinklemonade34 @luvkyu @naseobseob @kmusicreblogs @desafortuno @dontwannaexsist @onementally-unstabel-kid @kaijunodos @kaiyunsim @xavi-in-kpopland @prettybluei @gnusihcom @shuaeunie @leoleoleone @nootnootpinguuu @conwunder

© solkver 2024 - all rights reserved. please do not repost, plagiarize, translate, or share my work on other platforms. thank you.

[trippinsorrows]

Wait someone mentioned another roman x leya short i kinda wanna see roman and lina his little twin oh my god i just know they’re rowdy together

"daddy."

"hmmm."

"can i quit school and come work with you?"

roman can't sit here and act like this is the first time his daughter has asked him an out of pocket question. no, of the twins, lina is always the inquisitive one. leya is too. lina, however, is the one to allow her many questions to leave her head. the latest causing the tribal chief to look down at his mini me as the two share a bowl of cookie dough ice cream. his favorite. hers too.

"why do you wanna quit school?"

"cause it's stupid, and boys are stupid."

she's right about one part. "you're right. boys are stupid. you hate them all. never forget that." he makes a mental note to ask about the backstory there. it's about that time he has to show up at her school and remind them just why catalina reigns is never the one to fuck with. "what makes it stupid?"

lina pouts, and he has to hold back a chuckle. she reminds him a lot of himself in this moment. "cause daddy, it's boring. i don't wanna study. i wanna fight." and fight she does. girl is only seven and on track to become a black belt before even hitting double digits. "i wanna be like you."

this is the part he always struggles with. she says it all the time. her desire to be like him. to one day be the tribal chief. such a heavy, complicated thing for a young child.

"you know i had to go to school, too."

she frowns, her dark eyebrows caving together as she scoops some ice cream onto her little spoon. "but, that was a long long long time ago."

"watch it, kid." lina's giggle evokes a small chuckle from him. "baby, you like school."

she finishes chewing her ice cream, caving, "sometimes."

"oh, sometimes." he mocks her a bit, also taking some ice cream into his mouth with his much larger spoon. roman swallows before asking, "what about your sister? you just gonna leave her?"

lina's eyes widen in horror. one would think she was just told santa isn't real. "i can never leave sissy, daddy! she's my best friend!"

his heart swells at that. one of the many things he loves about his family is the closeness of the girls. such a stark contrast to his and solana's relationship with their siblings. "well, if you quit school and come work with me, leya will be all by herself...."

"noooo" lina whines, frowning as she clearly rethinks this horrible plan of hers. "i gotta protect sissy."

roman suddenly asks, prompted by her bringing up protection. "that little bitch tracy still messing with her?" he didn't mean for the 'bitch' part to come out. he definitely feels that way, but saying it in front of his already aggressive little girl probably isn't the best move.

lina nods and glares, angrily scooping her ice cream. "i'm gonna punch her in her stupid face."

roman should discourage that. should try to use some of that conflict resolution shit solana has been trying to get him to get on board with. however, that would be too much like right.

instead, he welcomes lina as she scoots closer into his side, advising, "just make sure to keep your thumb over your fingers. punch her good, and i'll get you some ice cream afterwards."

[ragnarokhound]

thinking fondly of you<3 want to ditch the kids and go to a winery this weekend? (drink some red wine(supernova))

also thinking fondly about jaytim. specifically, about how oftentimes we think of them as a slow burn… but you know what might make them a fast burn (an explosion?)?

one of them gets kidnapped and everyone thinks they’re dead:( but then they’re alive

Always, love, I'm sure they'll be happy to spend some time with their favorite familial babysitters, I'll give them a call tonight🍷💥

And OUGH. Yes. SUCH a classic action hero hurt/comfort trope, I'm always here for mortal peril being the trigger that forces a couple to realize what they mean to each other and that they WANT to take that chance!!

I am reminded strongly of one of feyburner's comics that I love so much... in this comic they were hooking up beforehand and this is the scenario that like. Makes it emotionally REAL for Tim and i love that sooo much... but also OwO

thinking about The Scenario:

One of them is kidnapped. Due to inspo in part from feyburner's comic, I'm thinking Jason. But it's been so long/the method in which he was taken leads everyone to believe that Jason's dead. EVERYONE. Tim included. Thinking that he's dead hits Tim harder than expected. Why? It doesn't make sense. I didn't even like him that much, what the fuck.

But he goes after the bastards who did it twice as hard, ridden by this sharp grief he didn't know he would feel. He's on a warpath. He's chasing down leads, shaking down goons, snapping at everyone that it doesn't matter that Jason's already dead this is about justice this is about vengeance this is about preventing it from happening again-- and finally finds the Organization's big base. Their big HQ.

Methodically he goes about tearing it down, one-man guerrilla style. As he moves through the complex, KO'ing goons, sabotaging weapons and computers, hell he might even rig this place to blow--

He picks up chatter about moving the 'livestock' and 'dealing with the troublemaker' and figures there must be human prisoners here. Possibly trafficking victims. He's been raising all kinds of hell, and security is just now going on alert as they find the evidence of his entry--

--when over one of the radios on the goons he just took out, Tim hears a very familiar and very alive voice taunting the Organization that he's out. They should have killed Jason when they had the chance.

Tim immediately factors Jason and the victims into his plans, gets in contact with Jason over the radio (full mission mode, no time for feelings or explanations yet) to work together on bringing this place down.

So by the time things are cleared up-- bad guys busted, victims rescued, base blown to smithereens-- Tim has been wildly coming to grips with the fact that Jason is alive after all and the confusing rush of emotions that's inspired in him, but Jason still has no idea that everyone thought he was dead.

So when Tim finally sees Jason in person, missing half his gear and still wearing the clothes he was snatched in, dirty and bloody and asking what took him so long-- he's not exactly thinking clearly, okay? Kissing him was a purely adrenaline/relief fueled action.

"Woah," Jason breathes once Tim gives him the chance. "What was that for?" "Thought you were dead," Tim muffles against the skin of Jason's throat. His pulse beats hard against Tim's cheek, his lips, sternly refuting the allegations. "Oh," Jason says, bowled over and bewildered. He's still holding Tim with an arm around his waist, his other hand cupping the back of his head, big and steady. "Well. I'm not." Tim squeezes tighter, his fists trembling in the back of Jason's shirt. Jason is solid, and warm, and alive-- and Tim might be in love with him. "Yeah," he apologizes. "Sorry. Had to check." Tim's clearly stumped him. "Huh." Tim doesn't let go. But neither does Jason. Jason clears his throat. "You know, I don't have the best track record with being alive after all," he says in a rambling tone so casual it makes Tim's chest hitch. "You maybe wanna... check again?"

[etruatcaelum]

Summer tilts her head in acknowledgment as Watts speaks, face pensive, and when he lapses into unhappy silence she says, "For… what it's worth, Salem–"

Her shoulders hike up in a jagged shrug, wordless. Fourteen years. Half the things she wants to say whisper backhanded accusations: if you paid attention and just be honest and she isn't some monster and if you would just give her a real chance—Summer pinches at her skirt, lips pursing.

"—what Tyrian said earlier," she says, instead, "about how I knew all this stuff about her, and she never seemed interested in his past. The thing is I asked. I just… talked to her."

Like a person. It's not brain surgery.

She sighs. "I'm not—what I'm trying to say is there's nothing special about me, there is no secret other set of rules that only apply to me and not you, I just– Salem treats me different because I don't—you know, Hazel raged out and tried to kill her for hours, Tyrian like, promised his body and soul to her before she could get a word in, you act like she's some sort of rabid dog who'll rip out your throat if you look at her wrong—I… I just… if you can't—”

Frustration scratches over her voice, and Summer pinches the bridge of her nose. "Fuck," she says, with a lot more calm than she feels. "I'm not trying to pick a fight. I just–"

"HAZEL STOLE AN AIRSHIP!!!"

Her semblance cracks like an egg, coughing up a whirl of lilac embers, and Summer hits the desk with a shrill yelp and a rattling of drawers; she gulps air. Pushes herself upright.

"Tyrian–" a wheeze.

No, we are not chasing Salem to Vacuo in a stolen airship, she thinks, and, you're not listening to me, and, the only way we'll find her in an airship is if we have Cinder on board, you realize, and instead of saying any of those things, she inhales slowly through her nose and counts to four.

"Okay," she says, and brings her hands together in a loud clap as she peels away from the desk. "So that's settled. We'll give it until morning, and if she's not back by then, we take the airship, Cinder can lead us to Salem, apologies all around, and everything will be fine."

A beat.

"Watts, Salem was gonna let you torture her because you were upset that she hit Tyrian, she's not gonna kick you out over this, and I don't want to hear it anymore about how she lets Cinder walk all over her. Tyrian, sorry, but Cinder's either gonna find out you and him are here from me or from Salem, and I'm not going to lie to her when she asks why I'm here."

She brushes a loose strand of hair out of her face, and adds, "Neither of you have gotta talk to her, you don't need to forgive or trust or like her, but if you mean it about not wanting to cause Salem pain–" a pointed glance at Watts. "You're just gonna have to deal with it. Salem loves her. That won't change. If you wouldn't say it to me about Ruby or Yang, don't fucking say it to Salem about her kid, alright? I'm gonna make dinner. How do we feel about stir fry?"

The final confirmation that the only options they have are to either use Arthur's Semblance or to wait for Salem to come back on her own seems to be the final nail in the coffin of Tyrian's already tenuous grasp on sanity. And yet, he does not yell or cry or find something to claw at or tear into, the way Arthur might have expected him to.

No - instead, with the slightest twitch of his left eye, he withdraws from both Arthur and Summer. He lies down, completely pulls the blankets over himself - tail tucking away, too, out of sight - and curls up in a ball.

Several seconds pass, and Tyrian neither moves again nor makes any kind of sound.

"Honey," Arthur tries. "Are you alright?"

When there isn't an answer, Arthur puts a hand on the lump that is his partner's blanket-covered body and adds, "I won't leave in the morning. My word on it. Does that help?"

When there still isn't an answer, he decides to focus on addressing Summer, for now, although he does keep his hand pressed into what is probably Tyrian's shoulder.

(He can see the outline of Tyrian's tail, curled on the outside of his body - as if it might shield him from reality. But without the prosthetic on, it's too short to reach his face.

It won't be a comfort, that way.

Arthur moves his hand until he's found the top of Tyrian's head and absently strokes the blanket - the most he can do, right now, to pet Tyrian's hair.

There. Let that be - a comfort.)

"....Summer. I am- so, sorry, that- you had to come here. That you lost your children. I really am.”

And he does mean it.

“Salem is so - I don’t know how to respond to her. She is so - violent - for someone who claims to hate it so much. She attacked Tyrian for apologizing to her. Told me to throw a match at her when I got upset by that. And yet she had this whole plan for-"

There isn't a point, he decides, in talking about Salem's grand idea to fix Tyrian. The man is already acting like he wants to use his venom to eat a hole into the mattress and sink through to the floor - best not encourage him to actually try and do that.

"If she doesn't feel safe," he says instead, "then the only person in Evernight who does is probably you, Summer. And Cinder, now that she knows she can get away with everything-"

Deep breath. As much as he regretted exactly how - far - things had gone with Salem, he's still hurt. Still knows how damn low he ranks, here. Salem's golden child can talk all she wants about how Salem is misunderstood and scared and grieving, but Summer would never be able to convince him that he mattered anything to Salem beyond as a tool she could use.

"But I don’t wish to- I never wanted- this- pain. For you. Or for Tyrian. Or for Salem. We'll stay here and wait, if you think that would be best. And whenever she shows up again, I'll apologize to her and then I'll- bow out of this and- leave, if that is what she wants. Tyrian, I won't force your hand. Whether you - come with me, or stay here, you won't lose me. I'll always be yours, no matter what ends of the earth separate us.”

He is quiet, for a moment, not really expecting a response when Tyrian is in such a state - and when Tyrian does sit up, his expression and tone are full of such exuberance that Watts doesn't quite believe this is the same person from even so little as one minute ago.

And what Tyrian says, well - clearly, he hasn't been listening.

"HAZEL STOLE AN AIRSHIP!!!"

[sealinredshoes]

Big Four Month Day 1 : Origins

I'm late for the Big Four Month but here we go. Here are some of my headcanons for a Big Four first meeting because my life is a little shitty righ now and I don't have the time to write this as a one shot

Let's be honest, the time line for the RotBTD crossover is way too complicaded. So you know what ? May the RenFair setting be upon you.

Merida is in her best medieval dress but there is a viking boy staring at her from across the food stand like the autism creature so she leave toward the dance area

They are playing songs from ages long forgotten. Music that makes her feel alive, make her feel like if her body is bigger than her bones, spreading freely toward the sun and the sky like if she had already walked this Earth before and know all of its secrets.

Suddently, boom, she end up dancing with Hiccup kingdom dance style and even if they are weirded out, it feel so natural to keep dancing , because there are old souls in young bodies and an old soul know another

Hiccup eventually apologize for staring at her earlier because he is not a creep he just wanted to steal her Mor'du's pin.

"Dude you know Mord'u ?" "Of fucking course I know Mor'du, it's a classic tale !" "Bro, litteraly no one know Mor'du, there is like nothing made around this tale !" "Bro, I know, that's such a shame !" "My life is in shambles bro." "Mine is meaningless without this pathetic bear king !" "He is such a wet cat." "The stinky"

They keep infodumping over celtic tale and legends, Hiccup explaning why trolls are a matriarcal society, Merida making theories about King Arthur's return. They go buy crepes and keep talking with their mouth full, being use as a bad examples for the kids around them.

The Mor'du pin is actually just a wooden bear pin Merida customized. She agree to bring Hiccup back to the stand, because this old lady make such cool things.

There is mostly bears, but also some fantasy book pins, and because I like to think Hiccup would be a Terry Pratchett fan, and that selling Discword inspired art is now illegal, he is very happy to find a beautiful Librarian carving, the only one of his kind.

Wouldn't be a shame if some white haired sheperd just came out of nowhere wainting to buy it too ?

It's time for some roast battle with Merida as a back up (making weird faces behind him) (she is very bad at back up) until they suddently realise the pin isn't here anymore and that a girl in a purple princess dress is ready to pay for it and putting it on her bag.

"Okay, no, you have to fight for it like everyone else !" "*gasp*Is this some kind of mexican standoff situation ?" "What ? No ? I don't no shit about cinema theory ?" "Mexican standoff is a cinema stuff ?" "Anyway, when will you three gonna fight ?"

Of course they are not going to fight right here over the old lady stand so they just walk around the Ren fair for seven minutes to find some Hnefatall board to set it up.

The party is so long, everybody is screaming, Rapunzel is pulling the biggest cheating move without knowing it, Jack contemplate his life with horror and Merida is so frustrated some time that she just move the pieces herself.

At some point, they are not just playing anymore, they are making silly scenario about the pawns and pretending to be merciless gods and causing chaos. It's being hours. People hate them because they doesn't share the board. The old lady is gone.

They end up being forced to leave the board to other kids and go find some food, enjoy the fair, spend to much money over costume pieces. Laughing all the way.

Slowly the sun is getting down, they don't think in matter of time anymore, they watch the acrobatic spectacles from affar. Jack is showing of his backflips skills. They found one of those climbing polls at the children area where they can pretend to be knigh in training. There is no kids anymore, they have it all to themselves. Someway Rapunzel end up at the top of the poll.

"Okay, how do I get down, know ?" "How do you get on this on the first place ?" "I don't know okay ?" "I'm sure we can use her hair to help her down." " How exactly, like by knittting it ?" "Or braiding it, like this girl on tiktok, you know ?" "Okay but will this be enough to hold her weight ?" "Guys, can you shut up and just help me ?"

She fall down on them and they are screaming so loudly they end up being kicked out of the fair

The nigh is young, they souls are old, they feel bigger than their bodies, today is meant to never end, they get lost on the parking lot, drip down on the mud, fall all the way down a small hill.

They are tired, and messy, and covered in dirt. This is the best nigh of their lives, they feel like they were born again this night

I hope I will catch up on the list tomorrow, I didn't even have the time to check everyone else work.

[skeletboi]

Part 8 of the intridimensional au!

New? Start here!

Silly extra about what Fiddleford is doing during all of this here.

_______________________________________

“We're going to have to stop before Arizona.” Ford said after about thirty minutes of driving.

“That is not a good idea.” Stan replied, his voice thick with pain. “But I wouldn't say no to some whiskey right about now.”

Ford glanced over at him and noted the sheen of sweat over his face.

“What you need is a hospital, not whiskey.” Ford replied.

“Not worth it. Hospitals ask questions and call the police. Whiskey would never do that to me.”

Ford sighed, but couldn't really argue with that logic.

“Fine, but we have to stop before Arizona. I didn't bring my first aid kit so I will be needing some supplies.”

“Let me get whiskey, first. Taking the fabric off the wound is going to be extra shitty if I'm sober.”

Ford dug the map from his pocket and threw it towards Stan.

“Find us a rest stop. I'll go in to purchase supplies and call Fiddleford to let him know what's happening. He's most likely pacing a hole in the floor as we speak.”

Stan picked up the map, but didn't unfold it.

“Fiddleford, huh? That's the guy that picked up the phone when I called.”

“Yes. He's my assistant.”

“Assistant. Is that what they're calling it these days?”

Ford swerved, but quickly righted the car.

“He- he's married, Stanley!”

“That wasn't a denial.” Stan laughed.

“We are not talking about this. Aren't you supposed to be looking for a rest stop?!”

Stan laughed again, but gave in and unfolded the map.

“There's a stop in another 20 miles.” Stan said, glancing at the rear view mirror to make sure no one was following them. “We should be fine to stop there. Which means we have at least twenty minutes for you to tell me all about how you met this ‘assistant’ of yours.”

Ford took a second to glare at Stan, but gave in when he noticed Stan's pained grimace. He needed the distraction, so he figured Fiddleford was at least a distracting topic to start with.

“We were roommates in college.” Ford started, not missing the way Stan winced in his peripheral vision at the word college. “He's a brilliant mechanic and mathematician. I recruited him to help me with my work in Gravity Falls because of his invaluable knowledge of machinery, and he agreed to help for a few months.”

“Invaluable knowledge, huh? Did you say that to him? That's a weird way to flirt.”

“Did you miss the ‘few months’ part?” Ford asked, unable to hide his annoyance. “He plans on going back to his wife and son in Palo Alto in another month or so.”

“So he left his wife and son in California to work with you? That doesn’t sound very casual.”

“We are done talking about this.” Ford said.

“Fine, fine. Tell me more. Why do you need a mechanic? I assumed you'd be hunting bigfoots or whatever.”

“I told you, his knowledge is invaluable.” Ford replied, a bit too quickly.

“Right…” Stan said, not convinced, but ignored it for now. “So you were roommates. You ever drink too much shit beer and check under the hood or…”

“STANLEY!”

“That wasn't a no!”

“We may have- wait! No! We are absolutely done with this conversation! Fiddleford is just a friend, alright?!”

“A friend you fucked in college that left his wife and child to ‘work with you’. Right.”

“I should have left you in that motel room.” Ford mumbled.

“That's what I told you to do! Not my fault you're so damn stubborn!”

“I'm stubborn?! You got caught up in some gang garbage instead of just getting over yourself and talking to our parents!”

“Talking to them wouldn't change a damn thing! You're just a paycheck to Pa, and I'm even less than that!”

“We are worth more than that! Anyway, what about Shermie?! Couldn't you reach out to him?!”

“And what, ruin his life, too? He has a wife and kids! You think I was going to put them in danger! You hate me and I didn’t even want to put you in danger! I just called to let you know I was sorry!”

Ford frowned and glanced over at Stan.

“I don't hate you, Stanley. I'm just angry with you.”

“Whatever. Same shit different day. I ruined your life, I ruined our parents life, I ruined my life and I will probably ruin your boyfriend's life, too. I’m not going to risk ruining Shermie's kid's lives on top of that.”

“Dammit, Stanley! He is not my boyfriend, grow the fuck up! And you didn’t really ruin my life, you just made it ten times harder.”

“Again. Same shit. Different day.”

Ford sighed. He did not get enough sleep for this. He didn't think it was possible to get enough sleep for this. He couldn't just drop ten years of anger in one night, but he didn't want Stanley to think he was worthless, either. He didn't have the time or energy to have this conversation.

“It’s the next exit.” Stan said, tearing Ford from his thoughts.

Ford nodded and took the exit, happy for the distraction.

“I'll park around the side of the building where there is some light to see your injuries. Try to turn towards the door so I can get a better look at your leg, alright?” Ford said, pulling into the parking lot.

“Yeah, yeah. I can patch myself up, ya know? Just get the supplies and I'll deal with it.”

“Stubborn.” Ford mumbled as he got out of the car.

“Takes one to know one.” Stan shot back as Ford closed the door behind him.

Ford grit his teeth and made his way to the store entrance. It was small, but well-stocked, so it was easy enough to find everything he needed.

“Rough night?” The clerk asked as he brought everything to the counter.

“Very much so.” Ford replied tiredly.

“Ya ain't the first one to come in here with a haul like this. Just happens round these parts, I ‘spose. Though, ya don't look the usual type. Ya look more… proffessory.”

“I'll take that as a compliment.” Ford said, paying for his merchandise. “May I get some quarters back? I need to make a call.”

“I'm sure ya do.” The clerk laughed.

Ford frowned, but didn't bother asking as the clerk handed him the change.

“Have a better night, friend.” The clerk called after him as he left.

“I'll do my best.” Ford replied.

He walked over to the car and found Stanley sitting sideways, one and a half legs dangling out of the car, and a revolver in his lap.

“Whiskey first.” Stan said as Ford approached.

Ford handed it over.

“Damn. This stuff isn't bad. I assumed you'd get the cheap shit. You holding out on me, bro?”

“It was only $9.00, I wouldn't exactly call it the best whiskey.”

“Usually I get the $3.00 bottle. This is smooth as silk in comparison.” Stan replied, downing at least a quarter of the bottle without taking a breath.

“I doubt most people would refer to that as ‘smooth’.” Ford said.

“I ain't most people, Sixer.”

“No argument there.” Ford mumbled.

“First time for everything.”

Ford sighed but knelt down in front of Stan to get a closer look at his injury.

“I told ya I could do it myself, Ford. Don't you have a boyfr- ‘assistant’ to call?”

“I would feel better if I did it. You're in pain and might miss some crucial disinfecting.”

“Fine, Doctor Ford, but you should still go make that phone call first. It's going be a minute before this whiskey kicks in.”

Ford nodded and handed the first aid supplies over to Stan.

“I'll be back in five minutes. Don't… run off.”

Stan looked up in shock before breaking into raucous laughter.

“Damn, your ‘assistant’ teach you how to make a joke? That was a good one!”

“Stop saying assistant like that.” Ford replied, attempting to look angry, but failing as he started to laugh, too.

“Whatever. Go call him before he calls the police. We don't need more people after us.”

Ford rolled his eyes, but did as he was told and made his way towards the payphone.

“Hiya, Ford. How goes everythin’?” Fiddleford said in lieu of hello.

“Hi, Fidds. How did you know it would be me?”

“I took that caller identification majig and hooked it up to my computer so it tells me who is callin’. I call it call-ification! I figured no one else would be callin’ me from New Mexico.”

“Fascinating. Did I not leave you enough equations?”

“Oh, you done left me plenty. I just needed a break or I was gonna lose my darn mind. Anyways, ya didn't answer my question, how is it goin’?”

Ford sighed and glanced back towards the car.

“Not well. I have an… issue I need to discuss with you.”

“Well that don’ sound good. What's the problem?”

“Stanley is the problem. As I suspected he got himself in some serious trouble, and he has nowhere to go, so I'm driving him back to Gravity Falls with me.”

“Well that's not so bad. It'll be a pleasure ta finally meet ‘im.”

“Hah, you say that now. Either way, we are driving because he isn't in good enough shape to fly back. It'll probably be another day before we get there.”

“Not good ‘nough shape? What happened ta him?”

“I haven’t asked him for details but he's… well he lost a leg.”

“A LEG?!” Fiddleford practically screamed. “Gosh darnit! I thought you were gonna say he was just beat up a bit! That's terrible!”

“It is less than ideal. I'm going to patch him up to the best of my ability and we will be on our way.”

“You're gonna patch ‘im up?! Take that man to a damn hospital, Stanford!”

“I tried that. He refused because, and I quote, ‘hospitals ask questions and call the police’.”

“Ya really got yerself a conundrum there, then, doncha? Well… keep me updated, alright? Does he have a similar build to ya? I bet I can make him a robot leg…”

Ford chuckled.

“He has a larger build than me, but we'll talk about it when we arrive in Gravity Falls. Sorry I didn't leave you with more equations. You'll have to find your own entertainment.”

“Don't you worry ‘bout me, Stanford. I am plenty fine workin’ on my computers. Keep me updated, though, seriously. I’m gonna be worryin’ ‘til I hear from you again.”

“I will, Fidds. I'll call you at our next stop.”

“Alrighty. See ya soon, Ford.”

Ford hung up and turned back towards the car. This was definitely going to be an interesting road trip.

Ford made his way back to the car and found Stanley already removing some of the makeshift gauze on his leg.

“Damn, that fucking hurts.” Stan thought aloud.

“That is not surprising.” Ford responded, grimacing. “I grabbed you a new shirt as well, since you didn't grab any clothes on our way out the door.”

“That's because I don't have other clothes.” Stan said through his teeth as he peeled off the remaining fabric, leaving only the makeshift tourniquet under his knee.

Ford swallowed hard, but leaned down to get a better look.

“Do I even want to know how this actually happened?” He asked, grabbing the gallon of water he bought and opening it.

“Probably not. Even if you did, I don't exactly want to talk about it right now.”

“Fair enough. This is going to sting.” Ford said, then poured the water over the gaping wound.

Stan stuffed the sleeve of his coat in his mouth and bit down hard, trying his best to focus on the fabric in his teeth and ache in his jaw over the screaming pain in his leg.

“Fuck, Stanley.” Ford mumbled, sounding wobbly. “I've patched up some serious injuries in my time, but this is definitely the worst one.”

“Tell me about them.” Stan said, momentarily removing the fabric from his mouth. “And don't pass out, or we'll really be fucked.”

Ford thought for a moment, then started to tell the story of Fiddleford and the Gremgoblin as he continued his work.

“Damn, that's pretty intense.” Stan said as Ford finished wrapping the cleaned wound. “What did he see when he looked into it's eyes?”

“I have no idea. He never did tell me, and everytime I ask about it he just gets this far-away look, so I decided not to push it.” Ford replied, carefully removing the makeshift tourniquet and checking to make sure the gauze stayed clean.

“A mystery you actually let go of, huh? You really must love this guy.” Stan said.

“You know I could rip this gauze off, right?”

“Alright! Fine! I’ll stop bringing it up! I’m excited to meet him, though.”

“Yes, well, he is excited to meet you as well. He said he would build you a robot leg. Knowing him, he probably already has the blueprints ready. He built himself a metal cast of sorts after he broke his arm. He was already wearing it the day after the incident.”

“That sounds badass. You think he can make it look like a peg leg? I’ll look like a cool pirate.”

Ford laughed and gathered the remaining supplies to store in the trunk. “I'm positive that he could. He would probably enjoy it.”

“I already like this guy.” Stan laughed.

“I'm sure he already likes you, too.” Ford said with a chuckle as he finished packing up and made his way to the driver's side. “He honestly likes everyone. It's fascinating. I'm sure he would be a terrifying villain if he wasn't always so nice.”

“Ooh. A dark side. The plot thickens!”

“I wouldn't call it a dark side, exactly. More of an intense side. He built a bunker with a boobytrap room that wouldn't be out of place in a horror movie, but I don't believe he would ever use it to hurt another human.” Ford mused as he got the car started.

“Why even build it, then?” Stan asked.

“It’s to keep creatures in more than keep humans out, although it functions both ways.”

“You think he'll make one of those to keep some asshole gangsters away?”

“It's feasible. You'll have to ask him yourself.”

“I plan on it. We should switch clothes and see if he can tell the difference.”

“You're missing a leg, Stanley.”

“I'll put a boot in my pant leg and we can both stand still.” Stan suggested with a laugh.

“He is extremely intelligent, he most likely won't fall for that.”

“Are you suggesting that he knows you too well? Intimately, perhaps?”

“I will push you out of this car.” Ford said, but laughed anyway.

Stan laughed with him and Ford couldn't help but feel like a teenager again, laughing alongside his brother over some stupid joke. For a moment he swore he could hear the squeak of a swingset, and smell the salty air of the ocean.

___________________________________

I realize that gauze and a tourniquet would not be enough for this wound- he would definitely need to cauatorize it, but suspend disbelief for a moment....

Previous /// Next

Also, what do you mean it makes more sense to go through Colorado?! It's Janurary and they're in an el diablo. Better to go around the bigger mountains! This was definitely planned and not a mistake.

I didn't mean for the backstory to go on this long, my hands just keep typing! I can't stopppppppp! I swear there is portal content eventually!

Also, I know some of you are not here for Fiddauthor, but I couldn't not have Stan being an annoying brother about it. I needed it to happen.

[overnightheartbeats]

Half of it still didn't make sense to her, but he had to trust that she was being sincere. Everything about her was out on display for him, she hoped that had been enough for him, for anyone. "I really don't know why she would do that, but it's really not like that at all. This is all…scary as fuck to me. I don't know if that's a fun game at all." His use of present tense pulled her gaze back to him, he liked her? Even after all of this? Searching for the answer in his eyes, she leaned towards yes, even through the hurt and exhaustion in his features. “No, I know, you have no reason to lie to me.” Clearly, that was not an issue for him. He was dodgy with his answers sometimes, but he hadn’t lied to her. Her mind just kept going back to Jenny and found it almost impossible to believe. She was always so sweet to her, and to others but she supposed she only saw her around here and there. Laurel also thought back to Julia, how her friend couldn’t stand her. Jenny hadn’t given her a reason, but…well, maybe there was more to her. “Okay, yeah I’ll think about it.”

Instinctively, her eyes fluttered close when he caressed her cheek, but after a moment, she opened her eyes and met that mesmerizing green. "Hm, not past tense," she concluded with a small smile. "My feelings don't change that fast." Laurel felt her heart settle after the tense conversation, and she leaned her head back against the locker, humming in response. "I'm sure she's still interested, especially if there's no one else."

It was a fair exchange, and she half-nodded more enthusiastically feeling the tone she was familiar with returning. Whatever irritation she met earlier, Laurel had not been a fan of. It was what she always ran from. "Fair enough, ask away. I'm an open book." That was debatable, but she was willing to try.

Speaking of Jenny, she appeared. This was just bizarre. Almost like the universe begging to bring all parties together to hash it out. She had not made lunch plans with her, had she? Her mind was at full capacity right now, unable to recall, even if she wanted to. Jenny's smile faded when Eli spoke up, feeling her words at the tip of her tongue. Who even asked you? But, nope. Couldn't do it. Not in front of her. So, instead, her lips drew into a thin line. "Oh!" she exclaimed in slight surprise, turning to Laurel, but she was not disputing him. "We do Jenny, sorry. I didn't know we had plans," Laurel added. She was only slightly taken aback when he took her hand, but oddly enough, she felt at ease. Trusting him with just a squeeze of her hand. "Well, I could join you guys. I'll even buy extra lunch!" Jenny suggested. She could see it in his eyes - almost silently challenging her. Guess he was not kidding about, game on. He wasn't serious. "Or, maybe not. Laurel, dinner at the dining hall later?"

"She made it sound like this was just a game to you. I didn't want to think that this was what it was. It wasn't a game to me. I like you too." Using present tense would probably make her realize that hadn't changed through his hurt. "Jenny seems to think so. I don't expect you to believe me because she's your friend but I've got no reason to lie to you. If you weren't aware then I'm sorry to break it to you. But if you don't want to believe me then see for yourself. Open your eyes and watch her. Bullies can camouflage but not for long." At least he hoped that worked to get Laurel to see through her own eyes.

That made him turn his head and look into her eyes. One hand slowly went up to caress her cheek. "Is that past tense now?" Eli wasn't trying to be funny. It just naturally happened. "I don't have anyone. Well, I may have messed up this one prospect but not sure what she thinks now."

"I'll answer whatever you want. But you have to answer a few of my questions if you're up to it." The jokey mannerisms were back as he gave her a small smile. Everything was settling back until he heard that voice that made him want to scratch his eyes out.

Eli tilted his head seeing how she could change her tone around Laurel. But like he told her earlier. Game on. "Hey, thanks. Actually, we have plans. She and I. Might need to find someone else to spend your time with today. We've got a project we are working on. Maybe next time." In an effort to tell Laurel he'd explain later just to go with it at the moment, he grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze without taking his gaze away from Jenny. Game on.

[burningcheese-merchant]

When Burning Spice was introduced a lot of people made comparison with Capsaicin, and even thought they were related. You have any thoughts on that?

I do, and you're all probably going to be very disappointed lol

Not only do I NOT vibe with the idea that they're related, I'm actually really annoyed that it's as popular as it is lol. It doesn't even make sense. Burning Spice was in prison for thousands of years; when, where and how did he have a kid? At what point in time did this occur? Capsaicin is a young man. A regular mortal, outside of his "Spice Overlord" thing. I ask you all again: when? Where? How? WHY? Has anyone ever actually thought this through?

"ThEy LoOk SiMiLaR" okay, and? So fucking what? Neither of them own the concept of "long hair" or "muscles" or "sharp teeth". Pitaya has those too, and he has an arguably more substantial connection to Capsaicin because they're actually from the same fucking area. Happenstance. Lots of characters in this game have similar attributes, that doesn't necessarily mean anything

"ThEy'Re BoTh SpIcY" Refer to point A. Do you all think all the nut-based cookies are related, too? That's the logic you might as well be operating on. Correlation is not causation

"Blah blah both jail" you know how many characters in this whack-ass phone game count as felons, bro? How many of them SHOULD count as felons lol? The Cookie Run universe might as well be one giant Alcatraz with all the shit these little affronts to God get up to every day, I ain't making them all each other's relatives because of it

They're the wrong ages for them to be family. Burning Spice was serving a life sentence since long before Capsaicin was even thought of, he literally got out after the guy was already a grown ass man. They're not even from the same fucking CONTINENT! Capsaicin has probably never even HEARD of Beast-Yeast! Even that little comic the CRK Twitter account posted makes fun of all this shit!!! The Wild Spices mistake Cap for Spice from behind, and then get confused when he turns around because THEY VERY CLEARLY DO NOT KNOW WHO HE IS AND HAVE NEVER SEEN HIM BEFORE! Wouldn't an army know if their general had a son, even if it was only mentioned in passing? Wouldn't THIS army have a vested interest in having their general's son around if he existed, and stop at nothing to bring him home should he vanish, to gain favor with Spice and because of how powerful Capsaicin is and how useful he could be to them?

I wouldn't be so bent out of shape about all this if it wasn't LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYWHERE!!! I cannot enjoy any content of Burning Spice OR Capsaicin without having to endure a fucking barrage of "hurr durr father and son" posts!!! I just want to ogle my hot, sexy, deliciously evil spice man BY HIM-FUCKING-SELF in peace, I never asked to have to hear the exact fucking same "hi son I came back with the milk" joke over and over and over again

I know I sound like a massive dick right now and I'm truly sorry. You are more than welcome to think of these two as related in some way if you wish. I am not your mother, nor your leader, nor your god, I'm just some cringe loser on the internet. Enjoy this game and its characters in whatever way you choose. I even actually like a good bit of the father/son art, a lot of it is cute and funny. I'm able and willing to say that with complete sincerity.

I just wish I didn't have to feel like it's being forced on me. That is one of the biggest issues I have with this fandom: how oppressive it often feels. You MUST ship this particular pairing, you MUST headcanon these characters as family, you MUST take this one-off joke that was clearly just a goddamn joke and preach it 24/7/365 like it's the gospel truth that Devsis themselves wrote on stone tablets and delivered from the top of Mount Sinai. And then when someone doesn't want to do that, everyone else descends upon them like a plague of fucking locusts. I actually saw a Dad Spice + Son Cap post on here with the person who made it saying something like "ok since everyone agrees that these two are family [...]" and I just got so fucking irritated. No, actually, not everyone agrees. Not everyone agrees on a lot of the fanon that's shoved down the entire community's throats on a regular basis. PLEASE stop acting like they do. I still remember when people would get flat-out harassed for not acting like Herb is Sea Fairy's son (old ass drama lol).

Say what you will about me, I'm just one person and you can block me or whatever dumb tags I use for my dumb shit. There is NOWHERE I can go to avoid this. Twitter? Plagued. Tumblr? Plagued. Even fucking reddit is on this nonsense (only in my personal opinion). But that's what I get for acknowledging Reddit in any capacity lol

I shall once again sincerely apologize for my harsh tone here, I am not attacking you personally or anyone who headcanons these two as relatives. I am just generally, profoundly frustrated and I need to get it out. I appreciate you taking the time to ask me an honest question, I hope you can forgive me for my painfully honest answer

[rqg179]

holy shit did kipperlilly kill buddy so that if kristen died no one would be able to bring her back and the only member of the church of cassandra would be gone

[trippinsorrows]

I know Roman will be strict with boys but what would make me cackle is if Lina or Leya got a boyfriend that’s just as big and as bad as him 😂😂😂 like imagine them going to prom and Roman has to look up to him/ or be at eye level because of his height and he’d get a pang in his chest because him and the guy have the same/similar muscle mass. Baby he’d be too stunned and jealous to speak 😂😭

wait, cause i'm screaming at this!!! 😂😂😂😂

but also, i'm wondering why the hell these boys so damn big in high school?!?! like, roman is a big ass man. emphasis on man. but, let both their dates be the same height as him, you're right, he would be fussing away to solana.

"what the fuck are they feeding these kids? they look fucking 25."

solana rolls her eyes, continuing to massage her husband's scalp as he lays in her lap, vehemently venting about his introduction to the girls dates.

their boyfriends, technically. but, she and the girls haven't quite worked out a way to break that news to her husband without his blood pressure shooting through the roof.

or the boys going missing.

"i developed early, too, roman. it happens." it happened to both their girls too, but she refuses to bring up those days. roman's overprotectiveness was times ten when the twins hit puberty. "and they're very nice."

"i don't give a fuck if they're nice or not. they're not good enough for my girls."

"roman, no one is good enough for them, leave it to you." solana leans over and kisses his forehead, advising, "they really like them, baby. please try to be nice."

"yeah, i'll be nice alright," he grumbles. solana rolls her eyes. he's about as mature as their younger kids sometimes. "i want to see their birth certificates." his eyes suddenly alight with an idea she knows she's not going to like. "i should go over there."

solana's eyes widen ever so slightly. yup. definitely not an idea she likes. "roman, you are not going to go over there."

"why not?" he sits up, looking at her like he doesn't know why that would such a bad idea. "anything can happen."

"because you remember the last time you showed up to their dance to check on them? you broke that poor boy's jaw!"

roman shrugs, indifferent. "he was too weak for my leya anyway."

solana sighs, heavily. she'd almost rather be entertaining their other four kids all at the same time than try to reason with her stubborn ass husband. "they'll be fine, roman. they have their security, and don't act like i don't know you don't have jimmy and jey sitting in the parking lot as backup."

roman looks away, neither confirming nor denying.

"and--"

the sound of something breaking pulls them from the conversation at hand followed by hushed, nervous, rushed conversation.

"what did you do?!"

"it wasn't me! it was kai!"

"no, it wasn't! it was koa!"

"no way!"

"i'm telling daddy!"

"snitch!"

"mommy! daddy!" aroha's soft voice is upped several octaves as she calls for her parents. "the twins are being mean to me!"

"nu uh!"

"uh huh!"

roman sighs. heavily. solana only smiles, seeing the frustration already growing. "i think we have more important things to worry about tonight than our teenagers."

roman scoffs, standing up and reaching his hand out to pull solana up from the sofa. "i wish you would even think to tell me you want another baby." she giggles, holding onto his arm as they head off to do damage control. "all these damn kids."

[agirlinthegalaxy]

It's been rolling around in my brain the last few days for some reason, but I still hate the family backstory reveals for Sophie and Eliot. I've seen some of the meta for it, but quite frankly, it still makes no sense. If it had been something actually thought of and intentional in the original, I think it could have been so fascinating. I mean, Sophie's willing abandonment of Astrid to contrast with Nate's loss of Sam or Eliot's adoption in contrast with Hardison's and Parker's? Could have been excellent! But they came out of nowhere in Redemption and don't work with these characters.

Sophie was still actively using the fucking alias that she met Astrid under! She met with someone from her past on the show! Like. Quite frankly, that one is unequivocally bullshit that they made up and threw in and pretended could fit with the established canon. (And I'm sorry, but the idea of Sophie abandoning Astrid and never telling Nate about her just... So much of Nate's trauma was rooted in the loss of Sam, and I think that introducing this element after he's gone and unable to respond to it taints Sophie and Nate's relationship in a way bc I'm not exactly sure how Nate would've responded to learning about this but I think that it's something he'd have needed to know. I don't know how to fully express my thoughts on that but yeah.)

As for Eliot, I don't like the adoption aspect literally at all. The way that he would interact with his family and the memory of his family would be different, and I think that it's flat out ridiculous to think that he'd have never mentioned it to the team in the original show, especially when dealing with the kid cases. (I also dislike the biracial adoption as its own element because if Eliot was actually raised by Black parents in the... idk what 80s/90s? That just. doesn't feel congruent with how they write Eliot interacting with PoC, not necessarily in a bad way, but babe, he's written like a white southern man raised in a specific kind of culture that does not jell with that. It also makes Eliot look... really bad that he was apparently raised with the knowledge of how fucked up the military was and his parents' history and made the choices that he did.) Like the show may not have explicitly stated it but the implication of that relationship was vastly fucking different throughout the original show.

Just. These were not backstories that were congruent with their depiction and characters in the original show, and they're also just moves that I don't particularly like or find interesting directions for those characters. There's also something to be said about how it was apparently unacceptable for a woman to not have kids or someone not reconciling with their biological family when that was something that the original show handled a lot better. Out of all the directions to take Sophie and Eliot's stories, that's just not really one that I think was a good idea.

[minwilder]

show tempe gang crossover with the morris islanders would actually have been the best episode of bones ever. btw

[tbob-enthusiast]

TUMBLR IS SO EVIL

IT GAVE ME ZERO NOTIFICATIONS NOOOO AHFHAHFHBSFNSBA

It did give me the time to make a very crappy "beta" of the thing I had in mind tho. Gosh. AAHHAHHFJDBFJDBFJD YOUR GIDEON IS JUST A LITTLE GUY

I'M ON THE FLOOR FOR HIM NOOOOOO

Him getting along with the Zodiac after everything... Befriending Pacifica, bringing presents for ROBBIE MY BELOVED AAUAUHFHFHFJDH

THE SUFFERING THE SUFFERING I'M SO SAD FOR THIS BOY

"HE'S THE YOUNGEST OF THEM AND WILL BE THE FIRST TO GO"

NOOOOO

WHYYYY

Gods man AUUJHFHFHFJF. I just want you to know that this was not cringe in he slightest, brother, this was art and I'm SO SAD OVER HERE. You will not get any semblance of shame from me for "mellowing out" a character, because heavens know I do that all the time HAHEHHE. Sometimes, man, they just need to lose their edges to shine... Like tumbling a rock, y'know?

AHRJEBGJD. OKAY I'M CUTTING THIS OFF BECAUSE I WENT ON A RANT ABOUT A HYPOTHETICAL COMBO BETWEEN YOUR AU AND MINE AND AHFJSHFHSHS IT'S SILLY OKAY

I hope your Gideon had a big funeral... and everyone of his friends came and :((

I'm so sad, man. I'm so sad for him and I'm dumping all of this sadness upon my Robbie because he IS DEATH. Imagine BEING RAIN or BEING SUNLIGHT — you don't control when you show up or when you happen. You just *do,* and there's nothing you can really do about it. You can't say sorry for being the rain to ruin that one bride's dream wedding venue. You can't say sorry for being the sunlight that killed the dehydrated bud left too long in its little pot under the sun. You can't say sorry to a kid who was trying to do good, who was trying to change, who deserved to live live live.

Death is a force of nature, a god who needs no follower, a deity who needs no temple; but Robert is a man who saw too many losses, who found out the hard way that "fairness" is impossible for someone like him. It's for fair for a mother to die in childbirth, not fair for an infant to be stillborn, not fair for the elderly to suffer on a hospital bed while trying to cling to life that is no longer theirs, not fair that he has to come for people who have yet to live. God. He hates that Gideon just accepted his fate, but commends it as well. He's strong (was strong) and he's changed (had changed) and way too young for his liking. Things were just getting started! That wasn't fair!

Why couldn't this other Gideon get mad? Why couldn't he scream to the heavens and gods for this? Yeah, he fucked up, and messed with magic he shouldn't. Consequences happen, sure, and Death is impartial, but Robert is selfish and hates hates hates that he'll have to take this other Gideon. That's his friend, in another dimension, in a different world; different colors and different memories, but Gideon nonetheless, and that's his friend, and Robert doesn't want to take his friend — but he'd want far less for the AXOLOTL to have him instead.

21 years old. That was his due date, at least according to his own Gideon. 21 years old. Old enough to take one single breath into real life and die without ever experiencing a damn thing. No, to hell with that.

He was omnipresent, once. He was Death, all of it, everywhere, and he was a god as important as Time or Space or Life themselves. Why couldn't he use that power? If every soul in the multiverse would eventually die, then aren't they all his by right? Well, he wants that one to stay out of his lane for a while, then. He wants Time Baby and the Axolotl and all of the other bastards to leave him be and let him live, even if just a little longer, even if just for another day! If he could only distract the gods long enough, who's to say that Other Gideon wouldn't be able to live well into his 80s? Hell, his 90s!

And for a moment, just a moment, it worked. He turned 22. Then, 23. And Robert watched, anxious but happy, because it was working. He was Death and he was rejecting a soul for his own good, right? Just a little bit longer. He'll turn 24 and then 30 and then...

He tried. But alas. There's only so long you can hold off a storm, an earthquake, or Death.

At least here, down in the Abyss, the Axolotl cannot take him and can't recycle his soul back into reincarnation. And Robert knows that's selfish, to take a soul and hold him down in his own personal void, but he has lost people too soon before — his friends, his friends, those who never had their 14th birthday party. Those who he couldn't keep, because the Axolotl took them first — and he didn't want to lose this one, too.

Besides. In the darkness of the Abyss, these souls shine brighter.

teen gideon headcanons because i love him :] i am constantly thinking about him and how he's the only zodiac member (and honestly, only main-ish character because of the book of bill and the website) that doesn't get a sympathetic moment, other than POSSIBLY the finale but that barely counts

i think he deserves to have a SORT OF redemption, at least internally, because he took dipper's advice in weirdmageddon to heart. even if he gets over his crush on mabel (which i think he does. mom said its my canon now) theres still the truth of "people wont wanna be around you if youre a selfish prick"

anyways he makes me emotional so i'm giving him attention

im scared tumblr will kill the quality on my tiny handwriting so transcription under the cut:

after turning like 15, he just starts traveling, gets out of oregon and hits the ground running

uses my headcanon (?) that the amulet takes years from you, and gideon probably won't live past his 20s

he finds this out, has a total mid-life (literally) crisis at 14-15 and decides to do anything "normal" he can do because he doesn't have long to do it

ofc he still has anger issues and obsesses over people and everything else, but he's a lot better at managing it [than] when he was a kid

he doesn't care if he dies with people still hating him, but he wants it to be known that he tried

[masked-and-doomed]

Respect to the song writers for putting out the "ABCDEF– GO!" Real. Lovely lyrics (genuine)

[infinitethree]

Okay, you know what?

The bastard is almost, on an aesthetic level, not terrible to look at while he’s like this.

Asleep, he can’t be a fucking sociopath or an asshole. Those too-clever eyes of his aren’t judging and dissecting, they’re closed.

The absence of that bright blue gaze makes him seem surprisingly vulnerable.

So does the way Daz has, in the short while he’s been asleep, already snuggled up to him and is being clingy.

After the last few hours of running around looking for him, it’s a relief to know that he’s been mostly fine all along.

Naturally, when Daz didn’t come home, Raine got worried. The Council, aside from Lee who had been kept out of it, have been searching his known hidey-holes for hours now.

Obviously the HQ was one of the first places they checked, but the wall that leads into the hidden room was sealed off. They assumed that meant he wasn’t there, so they ignored it.

It wasn’t until Aster, in a last-ditch attempt, decided to open it up and check that the bastard was found.

He’d been fine, thankfully. Just having hyper fixated on the code and shut out everything else.

Aster carefully takes his com out and taps out a message to the others.

ShiningAster: bastard located. fine but asleep. focused on coding body for Innit, forgot he has a human body.

RaineStorm: seriously?? uhg, at least it’s normal shit this time

RaineStorm: as opposed to soul crushing despair and existential terror

Khons: need help moving him? ShiningAster: staying here. fell asleep on me, he has nightmares. also touched starved. might be less bastard if he gets good sleep

It’s only a little bit of a lie. Technically, none of that was wrong, but the implication was that Daz wasn’t strongarmed into accepting.

RaineStorm: yeah his nightmares are BAD and music only kinda helps.

ShiningAster: I think I can fix it. saying more will make him pissy

Khons: well if he’s not in trouble and staying there we’re going to bed

ShiningAster: night

RaineStorm: gn

RaineStorm: it’s gonna be really funny seeing him fall for you ngl

ShiningAster: its gonna be weird as fuck for me

After a moment, he switches to DMs.

ShiningAster: at some point we have a kid. Not adopted I think. looks just like him. her name is Azira. means rising star.

RaineStorm: WHAT THE FUCK??????

ShiningAster: also he made a deal to help with Innits body for seeing the same shit I do. but for me obviously

RaineStorm: oh my god that stupid asshole

RaineStorm: maybe he’ll learn his lesson. bc you’re def good to him, I know you.

ShiningAster: hes capable of being good to me back. too busy being petty for now though

RaineStorm: yeahhhhhh. he’s def an acquired taste. but he really is a great guy when you get past his him-ness

ShiningAster: lol

RaineStorm: he figured out I’d want a heated tub, art studio, and a porch. it’s freaky tbh but it’s nice.

ShiningAster: sounds fake but ok

RaineStorm: you’ve never seen him be like that so it’s hard to picture but it’s true!

That’s not quite right; Aster has seen Daz be kind and generous to others…he’s just never been the target.

No, maybe that’s not fair. He’s dragged Aster to a place of being better in a way he never would have done on his own. Despite his attitude, it did still benefit Aster.

Granted, he’s also been an asshole on purpose for literal years, so. That kind of events out.

ShiningAster: honestly just want to eat his damn food without being drugged

RaineStorm: something something the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach

ShiningAster: it sucks so bad to play chicken on if Ill suffer when I touch his cooking

ShiningAster: usually its worth it. at least until whatever he put in it hits

RaineStorm: and now we know why

ShiningAster: maybe therapy will fix him

RaineStorm: ngl I think not thinking he’ll kill anyone he loves will do wonders on its own

RaineStorm: but therapy will help too probably

ShiningAster: cant say much for obvious reasons but hes fundamentally broken. has been for most of his life.

ShiningAster: but Id never have a kid if he didnt seem in a good place. so whatever he does works

RaineStorm: have you considered it might be the power of love

ShiningAster: fuck you

RaineStorm: I’m serious!! think about it, he’s spent like 4 years thinking being loved will get that person killed

RaineStorm: he might have divine confirmation but he’s stubborn. might not feel real

RaineStorm: soooo someone who loves him despite his bullshit might be the thing that makes him be less…yknow

Ah, another reminder of how deeply fucked up Daz actually is.

ShiningAster: could be having someone who knows his secrets or even just Innit being out

RaineStorm: remind it that it needs a new name btw. too close to existing ones

RaineStorm: but yeah that probably helps too

RaineStorm: I feel awful I never noticed he was so…unwell

ShiningAster: hes good at hiding what he wants to hide. cant blame yourself when hes a master manipulator.

Said master manipulator mumbles into Aster’s chest, voice small, “I missed you.”

And, fuck, something in his chest feels like it cracks when Aster realizes what and who Daz must be dreaming about.

There’s nobody it could be but his former mentor. The person who gave him everything he ever wanted…and then committed an unspeakable sin against him.

Clearly, Daz still misses him. Despite what Dream had done to him, a part of him still misses the person who crushed him infinitely worse than anyone before him.

Despite only getting brief glimpses of that time, Aster gets the impression that Dream had been someone whose preciousness went beyond words.

Yet Daz couldn’t stomach letting him have his way after what he did. He rejected a place as a near-god beside someone who, despite the sickness in his soul, was devoted to him to a disturbing degree.

That…takes a strength of will that Aster isn’t completely sure he could match.

Fuck, nor does the decision to use the lethally broken enchantment as a backup plan.

If the rest of the server had failed to kill him, Daz would have chosen a death so agonizing that it chills Aster to his core.

It’s not hard to see why Daz is so…himself, honestly. Aster might not be able to think like him, nor agree with his actions, but in a fucked up way he can follow most of the logic now that he has the pieces.

He swallows as Daz’s voice wavers and cracks. “You said you’d protect me, so why…”

Aster adjusts his arms to a more comfortable positon, and messes with his hair more. “I’m not him, Daz. You’re not Tommy any more. Dream was sick– you know that.”

Horrifyingly, Daz starts shaking as he cries.

He rushes to add, “But– but you can have something new. Fuck, if you can be even halfway decent, I’d fall for you pretty damn quick. You can be charming, you know? And– and pretty romantic. It was– maybe it wouldn’t be awful. If you just stopped being such a bastard–”

At a loss for what else to do, he cuts himself off and starts humming.

Eventually, Daz slips back into deeper sleep.

But the memory of this unsettlingly fragile side of him will remain in the back of Aster’s head. Even when Daz is being the biggest bastard he can be…Aster knows he’ll remember this.

[spring-lxcked]

hello i still have SB verse brainrot btw. william making an entire room of the pizzeria beneath the pizzapl.ex one of His Work Places. it's somewhere to focus specifically on possession and souls because that's where baby/elizabeth burned and he probably thinks michael burned down there too and henry and—