#and then comes this <50 year old making them feel like fossils

[quibbs126]

I feel like I need more content of TF One Megatron being unequivocally the youngest member of the Decepticons

Sure yes, in the angst/serious department because I eat that stuff up, but in this instance I mean more like in the funny department. Like, he’s casually making everyone else feel old and barely trying

Like talking about how a holofilm they remember going out to see was made before he was born, or he thinks they’re talking about a remake they didn’t even know existed. Or talking about video games and the High Guard not realizing how far the technology advanced, and so what they considered cutting edge mechanics is archaic to him. Or how their lingo or whatever you call it is painfully outdated and they have no clue what he’s even saying when he uses his. He’s defeating everyone here with the power of being from the youngest generation

I just think it’s really funny and I want to see more of it

Though also not just him making everyone else feel old, but also him just doing young person things in general. He’s <50 years old, he should be allowed to act like it

[alterbikes]

Alter Bicycle: The Future of Eco-Friendly Commuting

As urban spaces grow denser and the need for sustainable commuting becomes increasingly urgent, e-bicycles are emerging as a game-changer. Among them, the Alter brand stands out for its innovative solutions, including the much-acclaimed Alter motor conversion kit. With its blend of affordability, performance, and environmental consciousness, Alter offers an exceptional riding experience. This blog will delve into the features, benefits, and the future of Alter bicycles and their motor conversion kits.

The Rise of E-Bicycles

In recent years, e-bicycles have taken the transportation world by storm. They are not just a trend but a practical response to urban mobility challenges. E-bicycles like Alter provide:

Cost efficiency: Lower maintenance and operational costs compared to cars or motorcycles.

Eco-friendliness: Zero emissions, contributing to reduced carbon footprints.

Health benefits: An active lifestyle with pedal-assist technology.

Convenience: Easy to maneuver through traffic and minimal parking hassles.

What Makes Alter Bicycles Unique?

Alter bicycles cater to both seasoned cyclists and beginners with their versatile offerings. Here's what makes Alter special:

1. Innovative Motor Conversion Kits

Alter's motor conversion kit is a standout feature, designed to turn a traditional bicycle into a sleek, efficient e-bike.

Powerful Motors: The kits come with high-performance motors for an effortless ride, even on steep inclines.

Customizable Options: Tailored to fit a wide range of bicycles, making it accessible for everyone.

Ease of Installation: With simple tools and straightforward instructions, almost anyone can convert their bicycle within hours.

2. Affordable Solutions

Compared to buying a new e-bicycle, the Alter motor conversion kit offers a budget-friendly alternative. Riders can transform their existing bicycles without breaking the bank.

3. High-Quality Build

The brand uses premium materials, ensuring durability and longevity. Components like sturdy tires, reliable batteries, and robust motors ensure Alter bicycles withstand the test of time and terrain.

Key Features of Alter Motor Conversion Kits

FeatureDescriptionBattery LifeLong-lasting batteries, offering ranges up to 50-70 km per charge.Pedal Assist ModesMultiple levels of assistance to match the rider’s needs.Compact DesignSleek and lightweight, maintaining the bicycle's agility.Smart TechnologyCompatibility with apps for tracking speed, distance, and battery life.

Why Choose Alter for Your Commute?

Eco-Conscious Living

Switching to an Alter e-bicycle significantly reduces your carbon footprint. By choosing electric power over fossil fuels, you contribute to cleaner air and a greener planet.

Enhanced Commute Experience

Tackling long distances or challenging routes becomes hassle-free with pedal-assist technology. Riders enjoy the best of both worlds: the exercise benefits of cycling and the ease of motor assistance.

Cost Savings

Electric bicycles cost a fraction of what you’d spend on cars, motorbikes, or even public transport over time. With Alter, you also save on initial investments by reusing your existing bicycle.

Real-Life Applications of Alter E-Bicycles

Alter bicycles cater to various needs:

Daily Commuting: Beat the traffic and arrive at work fresh.

Fitness Goals: Stay active with pedal-assist that adapts to your fitness level.

Leisure Rides: Explore scenic routes without worrying about stamina.

Delivery Services: Cost-effective and sustainable for businesses relying on quick deliveries.

Customer Testimonials

“The Alter motor conversion kit was a lifesaver. I turned my old bike into an e-bike and saved so much money!” – Rahul S.

“I love how smooth and effortless the rides feel now. Alter has redefined my daily commute.” – Priya M.

Installation Guide for Alter Motor Conversion Kit

Preparation: Gather tools and ensure your bicycle is compatible with the kit.

Remove the Front/Rear Wheel: Follow the manual to replace it with the motorized wheel.

Install the Battery Pack: Secure the battery on the frame or rack.

Connect the Wiring: Link the motor, battery, and throttle.

Test the System: Ensure everything is functioning properly before heading out.

The Future of Alter Bicycles

With increasing demand for sustainable transportation, Alter continues to innovate. Upcoming features include advanced battery technology, integrated GPS systems, and solar-powered charging options. As urban planning embraces cycling-friendly infrastructure, brands like Alter will play a vital role in shaping the future of commuting.

Conclusion

Alter bicycles and motor conversion kits offer a perfect solution for eco-conscious individuals seeking affordable, efficient, and versatile transportation. Whether you're a city commuter, fitness enthusiast, or entrepreneur, Alter has something for everyone. Embrace the future of mobility today with Alter and make your ride smarter, greener, and more enjoyable.

[literalliterature]

So, I'm a new follower that is a bit slow on the uptake. Are Keet, Yonder, Aisling, and Onyx in the same story? Are they interconnected? Yonder 🎯 Keet ✨ Aisling 🧊 Cassius 🍀 Onyx 💼

Omg I appreciate your curiosity about my guys!!! You are not slow on the uptake, my oc tagging system is labyrinthine even to me and I'm sure it's incomprehensible as a new follower djsvbksjbg. Anyway, Yonder and Onyx have connected stories/share a universe, and Aisling and Cassius are in their own separate story, but they're otherwise not connected. They are all my D&D player characters (with the exception of Cassius, who is a side character serving Aisling's story)! I included brief descriptions of each below for a little more context, and their relevant tags are included in the tags on this post if you are curious about any of them.

Yonder (kenku/ravenfolk witch, in their 50s*, pathetic tiny little bird guy, skeevy con artist, wants to literally fight god but is 4'8"): 🎯 What do they do best?

Oh man.......probably finding things out, by which I mean both actually locating things that are hidden and getting information/making discoveries. They are an experimenter at heart and once something's piqued their interest (especially if that something could get them some power they didn't have before), they won't stop poking at it and trying to get to the bottom of it, even if it means making themself a test subject.

Keet (selkie ranger, 19-ish*, amnesiac, washed out of military training and really should let it go, cute dumb lost puppy energy): ✨ How did you come up with the OC’s name?

Hehehe I was hoping someone would ask this about Keet specifically. So she did name herself, being that she woke up alone on a beach about 18 months prior to the start of the story without any recollection of her past life. Her name is the sound an osprey makes, because, when she was living in the woods by herself for the first month or so after waking up, ospreys were some of the only living things she could talk to semi-regularly. She named herself after their sound because, in her words, "It's nice to feel like at least something is calling your name."

Aisling (half-elf rogue, 23, very fire-themed, kind of unpleasant person unless you know them well, chronic pain haver): 🧊 Is their current design the first one?

Her current design is pretty close to the original one from several years ago actually! The general body type, big face scar, hair and skin tone, black and red colors, and gold key accents were all there from the start. The blackthorn cane and white blackthorn flowers are added motifs that are more recent though. (The original art is very old please do not ask to see it vkdsbvkjdvbksb)

Cassius (orc healer, 71, extremely sweet old man with nonetheless crippling anxiety and self-esteem issues, 7'5" gentle giant, widower): 🍀 What originally inspired the OC?

Man this is kind of a hard question for me to answer about any of these guys because ultimately a lot of things probably influenced them, but Cassius is like. The comparison that comes to mind is the bishop from the beginning of Les Miserables lmao. He's that kind of fatherly archetype.

Onyx (formerly human druid turned hellbeast, mid-30s when they died, tar pit/fossil-themed, awful awful person, twisted by vengeance etc.): 💼 What do they do for a living?

Uh, well. When they were alive they were a knight/personal bodyguard for their ruler/lover. Then they were framed for her murder and weren't that anymore. Then they sold their soul to a devil who made them a devil as well. And now they torture people in Hell! They love their new job <3

Apologies if that was a lot but thank you again so much for asking

[raspberryconverse]

Tonight's edition of "Is this what marriage is?" Perhaps Wisconsin's Tattletale Notice isn't such a bad thing.

As I've mentioned a few times on here, our range's oven does not work. Does it heat and cook food? Technically, yes. Accurately or for longer than 15 minutes? No.

The internet said that the best time to buy new appliances is the beginning of the year. I saw one that I liked the first week of the year and we noticed the tag said the price was good though 1/4, so we decided we'd see what the next sale would bring it to. Well, that was a dumb move because it went up in price $100 and has yet to come back down to that price.

We finally started seeing prices drop on some models and found a similar one that's reasonable and a few others we hadn't seen because we had only been looking at Home Depot (my dad gave us a $300 gift card for Christmas/my birthday). Basically the only feature I really want is a lower storage drawer because our kitchen is tiny and we just don't have space for baking pans if we lose that drawer. My spouse doesn't want anything with a white cooktop because it shows all the dirt. We had it narrowed down to 2 models, but both Best Buy and Home Depot have new ads starting tomorrow (well, technically today). The Best Buy one is about $100 cheaper, but obviously we have $300 to spend at Home Depot (not that we wouldn't be able to use it for other things) and that makes us want to lean that way.

Since we knew the ad was changing, we decided to talk about it and make a decision. I currently owe my spouse about $800 for Lola's toe, so I suggested we pick one and I pay for it all with my PayPal credit account. If we pay it off in 6 months, we don't pay any financing. We were about to pull the trigger when apparently my spouse didn't gather that I already had that account.

NGL, I fell hook, line and sinker for the promotional offer of saving $50 when my watch broke and I wanted to buy a new one on eBay (I had a Fossil Q Venture Gen3 smartwatch and the newer models don't use the same size bands and I honestly didn't want to get one that wasn't going to fit the bands I already had, so I bought a Gen4). And I've been using it for awhile on frivolous things like new tile sets for my Letterfolk Tile Mats and that time I got sucked into the sex toy sponsorship Jordan and McKay did recently. I've actually done surprisingly well for me with a new credit account by not using up the whole thing like I'm always tempted to do.

But apparently my spouse is really pissed that I opened the account without telling them. And that completely shut down the new range conversation and I'm back to whatever can fit in the air fryer and the tech support "did you try turning off and turning it back on again" method for anything that requires more than 15 minutes to cook in the oven. The cooktop works fine (at least 2 of the burners work, which is enough for anything I cook), so that's good. Spouse also bought a toaster oven (the box says "countertop convection oven" and IDK if that's different from a toaster oven or not) for $15 at a thrift store a few weeks ago, but we have yet to test it out. But I'm kinda starting to feel like we're never going to buy a new range at this rate because I can no longer be trusted and don't deserve a new one.

Just to be clear, I'm not saying my spouse has no right to be mad about the account. If anything, I'm more mad that they gave me this whole "IDC what you buy. You don't have to have my permission to buy things and you don't have to sneak things in" spiel ages ago, but never gave me the caveat of "it has to be purchased with cash." I guess I'm less concerned about our credit now that we got the house, but I'm also realizing we've had to finance a ton of shit and we haven't even been here a year yet. And Lola is old and Meeah is ancient and Mable got bit by ticks before we adopted her, so they're all really fucking expensive. We just have very different philosophies when it comes to finances and it's really starting to come out now with owning an old house.

So maybe it would have been better if we were still in Wisconsin and they would have gotten a notice saying I opened the account. IDK. Is this what marriage is?

[fahrni]

Saturday Morning Coffee

Good morning! ☕️

It’s been an interesting week with our new pup, Cocoa. Potty training a puppy is quite a chore and there are lots of accidents while doing it. We’ve figured out her pattern and have been taking her out every few hours. She’s doing really well! 🐶

San Joaquin Valley Sun

A frantic, three-month cash dash by Jake Soberal, the chief executive officer of Bitwise Industries, to convince local investors to provide hard money loans may have ultimately led to the sprawling tech hub and real estate venture’s undoing.

I hope everyone affected by this is able to find work soon. This furlough affected 900 people. That’s just horrible.

I’m hopeful Bitwise will be able to get this all figured out and continue operations soon, but it looks pretty grim. 😔

iamthatis • Reddit

I’ll cut to the chase: 50 million requests costs $12,000, a figure far more than I ever could have imagined.

I feel terrible for Christian. Apollo, his Reddit client, is arguably the best iOS client application on the market. It’s the client application I use and it’s beautifully designed and extremely stable.

Reddit just wants to destroy all third-party applications. Just come out and say that.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this Christian. ❤️

Yet another example of a service destroying the business of a tiny developer who made the “mistake” of using their free API.

Inside Climate News

Climate change is spurring interest in remaking local infrastructure to accommodate renewable energy, minimize power failures and expand consumer choice.

I really like this idea of a “Mom & Pop” sized local energy producer.

Of course progressive towns would choose solar and wind energy while red states would pump out energy using coal and fossil fuels.

Louie Mantia

I am proudly publishing this post from my new home in Tokyo, Japan.

Good for you Louie! There’s a part of me that wishes we’d traveled more often when we were younger.

I’m realizing waiting until retirement to get out into the world is a huge mistake. You bust your butt for a long time, retire, then can’t get around because your body hurts so much you don’t feel like getting out. Who called them the golden years? Probably some ad agency. 🤣

The Associated Press

The North Carolina base was originally named in 1918 for Gen. Braxton Bragg, a Confederate general from Warrenton, North Carolina, who was known for owning slaves and losing key Civil War battles that contributed to the Confederacy’s downfall.

The dude was a loser so let’s name a US Military Base after him. 🤣

Thank you Confederate Bragg for helping the United States defeat the Confederacy and abolish slavery.

The Confederacy needs to be completely smashed. It should remain in history books and be shamed every chance we get.

Ben & Jerry’s

Ben & Jerry’s business model is built around the idea that every decision we make, and every dollar we spend in the course of our day-to-day operations is an opportunity to advance our progressive values.

Let’s hear it for progressing values!

Go buy a pint of Chubby Hubby, Phish Food, Cherry Garcia, or your own personal favorite and support a wonderful progressive company.

Salon

The last time I saw my great-uncle, he uttered six words that I will never forget. Struggling to speak, as he was already 102 years old, his mouth slowly formed each syllable with excruciating effort: “Nazis… are… bastards… Shoot… to… kill!"

And there you have it, direct from someone who knows a thing or two about Nazis.

NASCAR

NASCAR has implemented an update to the Next Gen NASCAR Cup Series chassis that will go into effect beginning with this weekend’s action at Charlotte Motor Speedway.

Part of what fascinates me about motor sports is the ever evolving technology. When Kyle Larson was hit broadside by Ryan Preece at Talladega it caused the roll cage to fail. Luckily it was on the passenger side of the car. NASCAR did an analysis of the situation and altered the design of the Next Gen frame to reinforce it.

I’ve often wondered why drivers aren’t positioned in the center of the car when I see an incident like that one. It’s probably been studied and found to be less safe for all I know. 🏁

CNN

Federal prosecutors have obtained an audio recording of a summer 2021 meeting in which former President Donald Trump acknowledges he held onto a classified Pentagon document about a potential attack on Iran, multiple sources told CNN, undercutting his argument that he declassified everything.

Oh, look, the Orange Menace is running his mouth again.

I’ve said it many times but I don’t care if he does time as long as he’s disqualified from running for any public office.

Jail time would be a nice bonus. 🚨

Heather Cox Richardson

Beginning in 1943, the War Department published a series of pamphlets for U.S. Army personnel in the European theater of World War II. Titled Army Talks, the series was designed “to help [the personnel] become better-informed men and women and therefore better soldiers.”

It really does feel like we are going more and more down the fascism rabbit hole here in The States. I wish the divide, growing larger and larger with each passing day, could be mended so we could move forward as a united nation.

[insomniamamma]

Closing Time: Marcus Pike x F!reader

A/N: This is my first installment in my Year of Kisses themed creation challenge! I was invited to join the fun by @oonajaeadira and @yearofcreation2023! I have never really participated in anything like this so be gentle. This fic plays fast and loose with Marcus Pike canon. I wanted to write for our Perfect Boyfriend without watching seven something seasons of the mentalist. If Marcus is OOC that is entirely on me. Also Sherri is entirely based on a supervisor I had once. I loved that lady to pieces.

Warnings: Angst. Break ups. Language. Alcohol. Some drunken flirting and kisses. Reader has a truly shitty ex.

          This is the last place he wants to be. C'mon, Marc it'll be fun, said Danny. You need to get out of this fucking office, said Sherri. You're just gonna sit home and mope otherwise.          I'm not going to mope.          You're gonna sit home and watch old movies and pine. For that stupid Lisbon woman, or whoever's managed to break your heart lately. Sherri gives him the look.          Fine. She means well. Sherri and Danny and Big Bill, they all mean well. They know him well, too well maybe. Marcus's New Years plans involved getting take out and catching up on the Christmas movies he'd neglected. White Christmas. Die Hard. Gremlins. The classics. Fine. I'll go. For a little while.

         And now? The jukebox is playing "Hallelujah," John Cale's version. It's just past midnight and the ball dropped on the tv over the bar and people kissed each other and called their friends and Marcus's phone sits like a brick in his pocket, a fossil from when Lisbon would call, from when Dierdre and Sarey would sometimes call. Can't think of a single person he wants to call. He stands arm in arm with his friends who dragged him here, rocking back and forth with them, "hallelujah, hallelujah, Halle-loo-oo-oo-oooh-jah--"          And that's when he sees you, hunched at the bar, the only other person in this dive who isn't paired off, who isn't singing along with a bunch of drunks, your face pinched and closed off in the bleary bar mirror, peeking out around plastered on stickers and flyers for long defunct bands. He can tell that you've been crying.

         You drink and watch your phone light up with messages. Hey you okay? Did you make it home? U ok? What happened? You don't give a fuck. They can wait until tomorrow to find out if you lived or died or caught an Uber back home. Fuck. Home's not even home anymore technically. Staying the night at my Mom's. He'd texted. We'll figure out the logistics tomorrow. He'd texted. Logistics. Three years and it boils down to fucking logistics. Three years in and he dumps you at 11:50 on New Years Eve. So that's how you find yourself alone in this little pub with a bunch of drunks singing along with the jukebox, but at least it's quieter here. You catch your own reflection in the mirror, face peering over half empty liquor bottles with plastic spouts stuck in them, eyes puffy from crying. You laugh. A low and bitter sound. Who dumps somebody on New Years Eve?          "...couldn't've waited twelve more hours," you say, muttering into your half-finished drink, into the black hole at the center of the galaxy, "Couldn't've sucked it up for one more fucking night!" The last bit comes out loud, and you feel eyes on you, hunker down into yourself, into your glass, like a snail pulling into its shell, and then the noise of the bar resumes.          He'd rested his hands on his shoulders and peered into your face like he did when he meant kiss you or say something sweet. I'm not in love with you anymore, he'd said, the same tone of voice used for things like hey can you take the garbage out, or hey, we need more dish soap the next time you go to the store. Okay, so maybe bitch-slapping him in the middle of the dance floor in front of all your friends wasn't the best move, but it felt good and right. And now he keeps texting you about his stuff. His clothes and his x-box and you and the girls did a round of tequila shots before and you can't quite figure out how this all happened.          Why now? Why tonight? Things were good, weren't they? Or at least not bad, and you watch the ice melt in your drink and feel tricked, bamboozled, and oddly relieved. If he's willing to pull this shit you're better off without him, you think, but deep down you just wish it was all a mistake, that you'd just have someone warm to come home to, even if things weren't great. That maybe the both of you will wake up tomorrow and be like did we really break up last night? That's crazy. But he's texting you about his x-box and his ps 5 and how he really needs it even though you went halfsies on it. Text me one more time and you get nothing. You hit send and turned off your phone. Thank fuck his name's not on the lease. Let him stew. Let them stew. Fuck 'em.          You feel someone settle at the bar beside you.          "Hey, are you okay?"          "What do you think?" It comes out harsh and you regret it instantly. This stranger  in this dive on New Years Eve has nothing at all to do with what's happened. You turn to look and you see a tired man with his lips quirked up in a smile that doesn't quite hit his eyes.          "Sorry," you say, and shake your head, "I'm not--fuck--this has been a hell of a night. I hope you're not looking for a hookup because I got dumped at ten-till and the last thing--" He laughs, a soft low sound.          "A hookup's the last thing I want," he says and holds out his hand, "Come and sit with us. So you're not all by yourself." You eye him skeptically.          "Is this some sort of pity thing?" He laughs a little, a soft exhale, "If it is, we can be pitiful together. He glances over at a table of drunks, "I'm only here because they dragged me. I was going to order a pizza and watch Christmas movies-"          "It's past Christmas."          "I spent Christmas working," he says, "If that's not pitiful I don't know what is." You feel yourself warming to him.          "I bet you don't even have a tree up."          "I do!" He smiles, and this time it does touch his eyes, frames them in lovely crinkles, and maybe it's better to hang out with a handsome stranger in a bar than sit and drink and brood about how tomorrow you're gonna have to clear your boyfriend's shit out of your place. Ex. Ex boyfriend you have to keep reminding yourself. "It's not a real one, and it's only four feet tall. But it's there!" He offers his hand again.          "C'mon," He says, "You don't have to be all alone." Fuck it, you think, down the watery dregs of your whiskey sour and place your hand in his, allow him to draw you from your place at the bar. He is striking, leather jacket across broad shoulders, tight jeans that grip him just right, and eyes so deep and warm a girl could fall right in and drown.          "I'm Marcus," he says, and gives your hand a squeeze, but doesn't let go. You tell him your name and he leads you away from the brightness of the bar, back to where the jukebox plays a distorted love song "the curl of your bodies, like two perfect circles entwined see you feel hopeless, and homeless, and lost in the haze of the wine--" back to his table of friends, smiling and laughing, sticky shot glasses and half-filled pints between their hands. Sherri. Danny. Big Bill. Sherri has large blonde hair and gummy blue eyeliner and a cigarette roughed voice.          "You seem nice enough, what're you doing with this sad sack of shit?" She jerks her head and Marcus looks like he wants to evaporate and you laugh.          "I got dumped--let's see--" you power up your phone just long enough to check the time, lock screen lit with a tangle of missed texts --"47 minutes ago? Guess two sad sacks of shit are gonna find each other, huh?"

         The night passes in a warm blur, you and your newfound friends drinking together and laughing, Sherri's got stories that leave the table wheezing laughter and all through it Marcus is a warm presence at your side, your hands keep finding each other's, his gentle grasp an anchor in this storm of a night. You feel like you've speed-run the stages of grief over your ex. Sherri eyes you over shot glasses that have popped up like mushrooms over the course of the evening.          "Listen here," she says, pointing a pink lacquered dagger of a nail in your direction, "Keep the PS5. He paid his half in cash right? Unless you wrote him out a receipt he can't prove shit. His name's not on the lease. Leave whatever you see fit in a cardboard box by the front door and block his number. Wash your hands of him. You don't owe him shit."          "Yeah, fuck him," says Danny, and Big Bill comes back from the bar holding too many drinks and Marcus rests a warm palm on your shoulder.          "Hey," he says, those big dark eyes full of concern, "You don't think he's gonna try anything do you? You're safe, right?" And your first impulse is to laugh, the only thing your boyfriend, ex-boyfriend is a danger to is game controllers and the fifteen year olds who roast him over discord, but Marcus looks so sincere.          "Yeah. He's--I'm not worried."          "Can I give you my number? Just in case something happens--" Danny launches in to the worst mob-movie New York accent you've ever heard in your life.          "You give Markie here your number, see? One woid and your ex'll be sleepin with the fishes. We'll fit him out for the old cee ment loafers, we'll--"          "Jesus, Dan, you sound like the bastard child of Tony Soprano and Rizzo the Rat--" And everyone loses their collective shit.          "If I'm Rizzo the Rat, then you're Miss Piggy--"          "No way am I Miss Piggy! I'm nowhere near that wound up--"          "Bill here is Sweetums."          "If I'm Sweetums, Marc's that grouchy Eagle."          "No way," you say, "He's Kermit. Tell me I'm wrong."          "Hi-ho this is Kermit the frog here with a muppet news flash," and that's it. You are crying into your drink with laughter, and once you can breathe and put words together you tell him--          "You are the last person in the world I would've thought could do Kermit the frog--" And he smiles, a bashful one that pinks his cheeks and turns his face away.          "Marcus has many talents," says Sherri, "Don't let him fool you."

"I can see that you are lonesome just like me And it being late, you'd like some company Well, I turn around to look at you, and you look back at me The guy you're with, he's up and split—the chair next to you is free And I hope that you don't fall in love with me--"

         The lights are up and Tom Waits plays through the bar. People settle their tabs and head out into the bright night. It's snowing, large flakes that catch and hold the light, street-lights haloed in whirling yellow.          "Do you need a ride?" He asks, snow catching in his hair, his hand warm around yours.          "I can walk," you say.          "I'll walk with you,"          "How'll you get home?"          "Taxi. Uber. I'll manage," he smiles, soft and sad, "Let me get you home safe, okay?"          "Okay." Marcus offers his arm like some old time movie character and you loop your arm through his. Snow falls, slow and soft and heavy, and the bars let out all around, spilling people into the streets, closing time everywhere, and people sound happy, buoyed on the promise of a better year, at least for a few days until the shine wears off and it's back to business as usual. Sooner than you want you're at your front step.          "This is me," you say, and wish it wasn't, wish for more time in the swirling snow with him, and his hand traces down your arm, his fingers find yours and lace through.          "Are you okay?" he asks.          "No. But I will be." You surge forward and hug him, wrap your arms around his broad back and snow-dotted jacket, and he grips you in kind, cradles the back of your head in his hand, tucks your face into the warm join of his neck and shoulder, "Thanks for looking out for me." He squeezes you tighter.          "It's my pleasure," he says drawing back to look at you, his hands on your shoulders, "And if your ex--"          "He won't," you say, "He couldn't even wait till midnight. Couldn't even give me a kiss. I mean, not that I'd want him to now--" Marcus reaches for you, brushes the pad of his thumb over your cheek, the question hanging in his eyes. You nod and he presses his lips to yours, waits for you to kiss back, and then his tongue slides soft between your parted lips, tender, undemanding, your face cradled in his warm, calloused hands.          "Come upstairs with me," you say, and you feel him draw back, bright line of hurt in your chest.          "I want to," he says, "I want to take you to bed if you'd have me--"          "Then why--"          "I don't want to push you," he says, "I move fast. I scare people off sometimes. I like you a lot. I don't want to hurt you, okay?"          "Okay." That line of hurt resolves itself into a dull ache, "I should get some sleep. Gotta dump Asshole's stuff on the curb bright and early." He leans in kisses your cheek.          "See you next year."          "See you."

         At some point in the deepest ditch of night you turn your phone back on. Peer bleary-eyed at the notifications, unanswered texts. You send a group text to the girls, home safe don't worry about me. You give your ex a time to come get his shit and then block his number. You drift in the dark, and your phone vibrates against your chest.

         M: If you don't feel too terrible, I know a place that does breakfast all day. Best blueberry pancakes in town.          M: I'd like to see you again.

[yahooin-feature]

10 Breath-taking Natural Phenomena Found in the Land Down Under

Nature has so much beauty to offer and that’s evidenced by the fact that when our country went under lockdown, the only thing filling people’s Instagram feed was the clear blue skies, the vibrant green trees and a series of animal appearances that would have been otherwise left unnoticed on any given day. Man has a deep relationship with nature and anything out of the ordinary strikes us. If a day with an AQI under 100 can fill us with such joy, can you imagine what would happen if you were to witness natural beauty in all its glory? If there’s one place on this planet that can boast for some of the best natural phenomena then it’s none other than Australia. Don’t believe us? Then continue reading:

1. Bioluminescent Plankton at Jervis Bay in NSW

I bet everyone reading this article would have come across pictures of shores with blue translucent light beaming on the surface. Well, at Jervis Bay, which is a mere 3 hours away from Sydney, this phenomenon becomes a reality. Due to a natural chemical reaction within plankton, the plankton become luminescent and emanate a blue glow. This unusual natural phenomenon, which can only be seen at night can happen at any time of the year but is more common in spring and summer months when the water is warmer.

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A post shared by Australia (@australia) on Jan 16, 2020 at 7:17pm PST

2. Min Min Lights, Outback Australia, Northern Territory

The easiest way to convince people that you saw a UFO or some supernatural phenomenon is by taking a picture of the Min Min Lights. These unexplained light phenomena literally will stalk you. Described by witnesses as floating, fast-moving balls of colour that glow in the night sky that stalk people, leaving some feeling confused and frightened, there is debate as to whether the Min Min Lights exist, or if they are simply an Aboriginal folktale that has been passed down for Generations. If you want to find out and investigate further, the only way to do this is by heading down under to outback Australia.

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A post shared by Bushranger 4x4 Gear (@bushranger4x4gear) on Oct 2, 2018 at 6:47pm PDT

3. Morning Glory Cloud, Burketown, Queensland

Wondering what Morning Glory clouds are? Well, think of contrails but make them big and close. Close enough to touch. And then multiply these in 2, 3, or even 4s! During September and October, the rare meteorological phenomenon referred to as the ‘Morning Glory Clouds’ roll across the Gulf and can be observed above the skies in Burketown. The cloud bank can be up to 1,000km long, 1-2km wide and can travel at speeds of up to 60km/hour. Although these clouds can be found in other parts of the world, Burketown is the only place where they appear frequently at set times of the year.

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A post shared by #exploreTNQ (@tropicalnorthqueensland) on Sep 13, 2018 at 12:18am PDT

4. Coral Spawning, The Great Barrier Reef, Queensland

Once a year, on cues from the lunar cycle and the water temperature, entire colonies of coral reefs simultaneously release their tiny eggs and sperm, called gametes, into the ocean. Known as Coral spawning, this phenomenon creates an underwater blizzard with billions of colorful flakes cascading in white, yellow, red, and orange. An extremely crucial process in fertilisation, this lasts only a few nights, but travellers can take a night time coral spawning dive trip or join an overnight vessel during the coral spawning dates for another chance to view this weird and wonderful sight

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A post shared by #thisisqueensland (@queensland) on Nov 28, 2019 at 3:03am PST

5. Cuttlefish Annual Aggregation, Eyre Peninsula, South Australia

Australia is the only place in the world where a mass of beautifully colored cuttlefish come together to migrate to the waters of the upper Spencer Gulf to breed. This annual migration, which takes place predictably every winter, is a sight to behold for every scuba enthusiast. Travelers can snorkel with the amazing giant cuttlefish at Stony Point between June and July, located on the coastline of the Upper Spencer Gulf Marine Park in the Eyre Peninsula.

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A post shared by South Australia (@southaustralia) on Jul 1, 2018 at 2:15am PDT

6. Australia’s Pink Lakes, South Australia, and Western Australia

Another Insta-worthy phenomenon, Australia is home to several pink lakes. From the outback of South Australia to the coast of Western Australia, few things are as beautiful and baffling as Australia’s pink lakes. Most of these stand-alone lakes get their vibrant hues due to the high concentration of salt in them.

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A post shared by Australia (@australia) on Apr 10, 2019 at 12:00pm PDT

7. Aurora Australis, Tasmania

Much like the Northern Lights, the Southern light illuminates the Aussie sky in colors of green, blue, red, and even pink. The Southern Lights can be viewed all year round – although most commonly during winter, May to August, and during the spring equinox in September. You can head to Bruny Island, Satellite Island, Bathurst Harbour, and Cradle Mountain for the beautiful natural light show.

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A post shared by Discover Tasmania (@tasmania) on Feb 26, 2020 at 9:53pm PST

8. The World’s Largest Dinosaur Footprints, Broome, Western Australia

It’s hard to imagine a world where dinosaurs roamed freely along with man. But if there’s one place where this becomes a reality it is in Broome, Western Australia. At 1.7-metres long, the fossilized dinosaur footprints here are 130 million years old and extend in patches for 80km along the coast. At the southern end of Cable Beach is Gantheaume Point, a scenic area of red sandstone cliffs where visitors can observe footprints of dinosaurs located on the flat rocks 30 meters out to sea and are only visible at low tide. This phenomenon is definitely for the bucket list.

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A post shared by Western Australia (@westernaustralia) on Nov 26, 2019 at 9:33pm PST

9. Horizontal Falls, Western Australia

One of the most fascinating natural phenomena on this list is Horizontal Falls, which can be found in Talbot Bay in the Buccaneer Archipelago. The first fall is about 20-meters wide, while the second is about 10-meters wide. The powerful tides in the Kimberley can reach more than 10-metres and the direction of the flow reverses ensuring the water flows two different ways each day, and a unique waterfall effect. A scenic flight or a sea safari is the best way to explore the Horizontal Waterfalls.

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A post shared by Australia (@australia) on Oct 9, 2019 at 11:00am PDT

10. Red Crab Migration, Christmas Island

Walk the red crab carpet on Christmas Island, off the far north-west coast of Australia. The island is home to an estimated 40-50 million bright red land crabs. Each year, at the start of the wet season (November - January), a spectacular awakening occurs. Mother Nature rolls out the red carpet as hordes of crabs emerge from the island’s forests and march their way down to the ocean to breed.

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A post shared by Australia (@australia) on Dec 16, 2019 at 2:00am PST

Head over to the Land down under and experience these incredible experiences. If you need help planning your trip to Australia, check out these super helpful resources.

This content was produced in partnership with Tourism Australia. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #467

“oh, mary, mary, ain’t this fun?  /  mary, mary, i’ve got a gun”

If the last person you kissed asked you to marry them, what would you do? Pray to god it wasn't in public and tell him it's waaaay too soon for that one. Does your favorite uncle have any children? Yeah, a son and daughter. Name all the members (first, middle and last names) from your favorite band. Ha, it's funny how once upon a time, I could do this. All I've got now is John Michael Osbourne. Have you ever heard a young child swear? Maybe? Have you ever seen someone get a piercing/tattoo?: Yes to both. Has a taste of something ever made you smile? Boy meet me at The Cheesecake Factory and see what my face does lmaooo As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? I wanted to be a paleontologist sooo badly. I wanted to discover new dinosaurs, put a shitload of work into unearthing fossils and being so proud to see the final results... Even now as an adult, if I could handle the heat, traveling, and hardcore school, I'd still love to do that. Would you cuss the person you hate the most out to their face? No. My hatred for her is unjustified and I'd rather just not say anything to her. Have you ever spent more than two weeks in a wheelchair? No. Where do you see your closest friend in ten years? As one of the strongest people around. I imagine her with a job in medical coding, while also pursuing the hobbies of ball python breeding and writing. I'm sure she'll have loads of pets to love, too! Do you like Florence + The Machine? I've never listened to them. Did you watch the presidential debates? No. Do you ever watch Dr. Phil? No. Are you typically unattracted to people outside of your race? No; I can be attracted to any race. Have you ever ridden any animal other than a horse? No. Do you brush your hair when it’s wet? Yes. Do you eat the crusts of your bread? Yeah, I always have. Have you ever flown a kite? Yeah! At my childhood home, there was a tobacco field directly across the street, and when they weren't in season so the field was flat, Dad would help us with getting kites set up and in the air. Those are good memories. How are you for money? I don't make any money. Mom is struggling. Do you think you are more intelligent than the average person? Ha, no. Do you ever think about why we are here? Does it matter? We're here, so make the most of it. Do you like cherries? I fucking hate cherries. Name a celebrity that you admire that nobody would expect you to: Jeffree Star, probs. Can you use a yoyo? Not well, but yeah. Do you think Jenna Marbles’ videos are funny? I've actually never watched her. Do you like folk music? NOOOOOOOOO Ever had a crush on somebody of the same sex? Yes. Do you know any lesbians? Yep. Favourite member of your favourite band: I'm unfamiliar with all but Ozzy himself. And Ozzy is rad. Who’s your favourite female rapper? I don't have one. When you were younger, were you ever in a relationship with someone you now realize was way too old for you? No. Have you ever had a seizure? No. I sometimes have very, very quick spasms when I'm falling asleep that feel like what I assume a seizure would, but they barely last a second. They seriously jerk me awake, though, and are very startling. What’s the oldest man-made object you own? I dunno. Is there anything you feel like you need a break from? Not really, no. What do you hate to hear people joke about? I will actually and remorselessly deck you in the jaw if you make a joke about rape. There are other things that are absolutely forbidden joking matters for me, too. What’s the largest animal you’ve seen in the wild? Hmmm... Nothing that big, really. Maybe a whitetail deer buck? Do any of your friends or family members have strange occupations? Not to my knowledge. Have you ever been in weather so severe that you feared for your safety? Oh yeah. We've had some savage thunderstorms. What political issues are the most important to you personally? LGBTQ+ rights and just equality in general, the pro-choice movement, environmental conservation, gun control, the abolishment of poverty and homelessness... There is honestly a lot. I could keep going. Do you know anyone who doesn’t know how to cook even just simple recipes? ... Me. :x Especially now that I'm in a relationship, I really want to make a greater effort to learn. I want to prove to him I give a damn about the success of our relationship and that I'm capable of being an adult that can take part in general adult responsibilities. ^What’s stopping them from learning this basic life skill? Laziness. Forgetfulness. The fear of getting burned. What small thing makes you automatically distrust someone? I can pick up on sketchy body language from a mile away. I'm too paranoid not to. Of all the states/provinces in your country, which one is your favorite? At least from photographs I've seen, Utah appears BEAUTIFUL. That whole region of the U.S. in general. Are there any obscure foods you’ve eaten that most people have never tried? That's very unlikely. I'm far from explorative with food. When you travel to other countries, do you always try the local cuisine? I've never been outside the U.S. I would probably do that, though. I'd really want to experience the culture as thoroughly as I could. What did you do for your 19th birthday? Hell if I remember. What’s the kindest thing a total stranger has done for you? I remember as a young kid, my parents, two sisters, and I were getting food at McDonald's, and whoever was in front of us paid for our meals. Such a sweet gesture for a larger family. Have you ever used a meal kit delivery service? No, but there actually is one that I can't recall the name of that I'd like to try when I cook myself, especially getting started learning, but yeah, subscription fees. You see a lot of YouTubers get sponsored by them, if that rings a bell. Do you have any psychological issues rooted in events from your childhood? Possibly my fear of men, with my dad having been an alcoholic that had a 50/50 chance of being very angry when drunk. How organized are the files on your computer? Pretty organized, I'd say. I put stuff into folders. Would you date someone with braces? Yes? Do you ever rehearse conversations before you have them? Only always. Do you get angry at yourself or at others more often? Myself, for sure. When taking a cab, do you talk to the driver? I've never even taken a cab. Who or what greets you at the door every time you come home? Nobody, really. My cat is occasionally in the living room to see who's home, but not always because he's a lazy cat, ha ha. Do you ever chat about your favourite video games with your friends? Not really, no. I wish. Have you ever supported anyone’s Kickstarter? If so, what was it? No, bc I'm poor. Are you currently studying a language? If so, which one? No. Ever had a friend online for a long time without seeing a photo of them? Yeah. Do you carry pepper spray? No, but I want some 'cuz I'm paranoid as hell. Are you waiting on anything right now? No. Have you ever been described as shy? Is it true? Oh, always. It's absolutely true. Name something you’re a complete sucker for? Baby animals, to name one thing. Do you remember when you first went on the internet? Nope. What is one way someone could completely put you off on a first date? Arrogance/over-confidence. What about a way someone could make you like them more on a first date? Make me genuinely laugh a lot, to name one way. Are you in love right now? Not yet. I love him with our decade of history, but I need more experience as a couple before I've got the confidence to say that. Do you wanna get married anytime soon? It wouldn't be smart to. I want to be in a strong relationship for quite a few years before I want that. Have you ever kissed someone in a band? No. Has someone ever made you a Build-A-Bear? No but oh my fucking god I wish!!!!!! Did your mom or dad ever put soap in your mouth? No, but Mom would threaten to. What was the last fruit you ate? Well, I had strawberry yogurt earlier today. Who was the last person to make you laugh? Girt. He is very, very good at that. Have you ever dated someone with more piercings than you? No. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Hell yeah man. Is there one night of your life you wish had never happened? I wish it hadn't happened the way it did. Do you have a close relationship with your sibling(s)? No. What was the last thing that you shared? Some watermelon Sour Patch Kids with my mom. Do you think people talk behind your back? You couldn't get me to believe my mom doesn't at least sometimes to my sisters even if you tried your absolute damnedest. In real life do you laugh like ‘haha,’ 'hehe’ or something else? It depends on what I'm laughing at/at what intensity. Do you have any unusual skills? Nah. Who’s your favourite person? I don't have a sole favorite person. I love many people in different ways for varying reasons. Are there any chores you actually enjoy doing? No. When did you last have an "Oh, I get it now!" moment? Watching Attack on Titan yesterday w/ Girt. Have your parents ever suspected something untrue about you? My mom HAD to have suspected I was doing something FAR worse than innocent meerkat RP to have borderline fucking traumatized me invading my privacy and forcing shit out of me regarding what I was always doing on the computer so secretively. Like I get it, she was a concerned mother, but I was a fucking WRECK because I found it so embarrassing. It was insulting that she didn't trust her well-behaved daughter. What do you think about video games? They're great for both the creators and consumers. They're wonderful expressions of creativity, and so much fun to experience as a player, delving into a new world and getting engrossed in the story. I could go onnnn and onnnnn about what video games mean to me. I've gone my whole life as a loyal gamer. Are there any forms of Art you personally find pointless? I really, really don't get a lot of abstract art that's worth fucking thousands, BUT, I absolutely disagree that they are without purpose. The artist created what they did for SOME reason. As a distraction, a method of expressing emotion, to convey an idea... Are you tired right now? I have been SO ridiculously tired today. Like it's unreal. I've taken I wanna say three naps and I'm still sleepy. What’s something you do a lot? Drink something. I'm not talking about alcohol; just in general, I ALWAYS need some kind of drink by me, and I go through drinks pretty quickly. Are you currently on any other websites? Yeah, I'm watching YouTube. Are you good at using Photoshop? I'm decent, I guess. Have you ever been told you naturally tilt your head a certain way? Yes, actually, at least by my mom, and she's right. My head tends to tilt VERY slightly to the right, and I can tell by how easy it is to bend my head that way as opposed to left. I'll feel a biiiit more strain.

[heliosphoenix]

State of the Planet: 2020 Edition.

I know what you're thinking.

"How can you even think of doing one of these for this year? After everything that happened? You can't possibly be trying to do your little feel-good writeup!" 

Well...you're right. I can't. That's right, State of the Planet is cancelled.

I don't really have to explain why, do I? I have no words to describe this year and I know you don't want to hear them anyway. I understand your anger, your frustration, your sadness, everything you're feeling, I get it.

This wasn't the year you imagined and almost certainly not the one you wanted. Thanks for being there the entire way, and I'll see you next year.

Okay, I'm just kidding. I couldn't do that to you folks, I just wanted to get some more mileage out of a dead meme.

I first started this missive several years ago when I noticed that people were developing a tendency to condense the previous lap around the ol Sun into a series of terrible, horrible, no good very bad events at the expense of anything good that may have happened. I don't know why this was done, maybe as a ways to ensure that the coming year would have to be better by default.

Well...we all saw how that worked out for this year, didn't we?

As you all know I prefer to do things differently. I prefer to go out on a high note and remember all the good things that happened in the past year. If nothing else, I think it helps remind us that as much as we want to bemoan and be pessimistic about the state of our culture, society, civilization and even species, there's plenty of evidence to suggest we're not doing so bad after all.

And even thought it feels like this past year the world went out of its way to teach us some rather harsh lessons, I'm still determined to find something good that happened. So let's take a look back at some of the good things that happened in 2020:

A circumbinary planet was discovered at the TOI 1338 system.

Luxembourg became the first country to make it's public transportation free.

The Bhadla Solar Park became the largest solar park in the world.

The BepiColumbo space probe departed for Venus, en route to an arrival at Mercury in 2025.

A fast radio burst was detected from a Magnetar in the Milky Way, the first time such an event has been detected in the Galaxy.

A team of British and Kenyan scientists discovered a microbe that can block mosquitos from transmitting malaria.

A black hole was discovered in the QV Telescopii system, at 1120 light years away it is the closest known black hole to Earth.

A 425 million year old fossil of a millipede was discovered in Scotland, one of the oldest fossils ever found.

SpaceX launched their Dragon 2 spacecraft on its first crewed missions, the first astronauts to launch from US soil since 2011.

The Perseverance rover was launched to Mars and is expected to touch down in February.

The Barakah nuclear power plant in the UAE became the first operational nuclear power plant in the Arab states.

Wild polio was eradicated from the continent of Africa.

Skeletons of 31 prehistoric animals, including 200 mammoths, were found at a construction site in Mexico City, it was the largest finding of mammoth bones ever.

The 5.37 mile La Linea highway tunnel was opened in Colombia, it's the largest road tunnel in South America.

Kosovo, Serbia, Sudan and Bahrain all decided to normalize their relations with Israel.

Phosphine, a strong predictor of microbiological life, was discovered in the atmosphere of Venus.

Preserved remains of a cave bear were discovered in Siberia.

A 1634 edition of Shakespeare's final play, The Two Noble Kingsman, was discovered at the Royal Scots College's library in Spain.

The OSIRIS-REx spacecraft landed on the asteroid Bennu and collected samples for return to Earth in 2023.

The Falkland Islands were declared free of land mines.

Molecular water was detected near Clavius crater on the Moon. 

An AI algorithm called AlphaFold was able to figure out the process of Protein Folding. 

The UN commission on Narcotic Drugs removed cannabis from its list of dangerous drugs.

The EU committed themselves to reducing greenhouse emissions by 55% over the next decade.

A Great Conjunction between Jupiter and Saturn occurred, the closest one seen in the night sky since 1226.

Comet NEOWISE passed by the Earth and was the brightest comet in the night sky since Hale-Bopp in 1997.

Among Us became one of the most popular games in the world.

Half Life: Alyx was released, the first Half Life game in 13 years (FINALLY).

Joe Biden was elected as the 46th President of the United States.

Remember all that? Good. Because that's where I'm at.

You, dear reader, are in the future. Perhaps you're reading this in the final hours of 2020, or the first hours of 2021. Or maybe so much time has passed that both those years are now confined to the history books.

Perhaps everything I listed above is not enough to overcome all the bad things that happened this year, and that's a fair assessment. Maybe at the end of the day there's nothing that can overshadow the fact that someone in China who ate the wrong bat resulted in the entire world coming to a stop. If that's your feeling, then I understand completely.

But let the record show that those things did happen. In a year full of chaos and uncertainty and anxiety and dread, there were still moments where we could objectively punch our fists in the air and say "yes!" Even if only for a moment.

So now comes the part where I have to take all the things that we just went through and sum it up in a single word. Usually I don't think about this until the day of, but this time I've actually known for months what I was going to say:

The word is...Goodbye.

It sounds both strange and appropriate at the same time, doesn't it? As we close out this year, as well as this decade (reminder that 2021 is the real start of the next decade) we can look back and realize we've had many experiences. Both positive and negative. Hopefully they were mostly positive, even during this year.

But there is at least one experience we've all shared together, especially in times like these: saying goodbye.

I will confess to you all that I have a hard time saying goodbye. Hell, I don't even like the word. Whenever I end a conversation, I always use some variant of "see you later", since, to me at least, "goodbye" just sounds so final. Though with that said, I will also admit there's some people in this world that I had no problem saying goodbye to, and I don't mean "till we meet again", I mean "get lost." And I'd be lying if I said there weren't some people who felt the same about me, but I digress.

In the last episode of his show, Red Green delivered a monologue about saying goodbye. A monologue that I am now shamelessly ripping off for your reading pleasure. Not just because it's a way to get this done quickly, but because I think what he said is very true.

Red says that when it comes to your good friends and your family, you never really have to say goodbye. Why? Because they're always in your mind. And whenever you think about them, you're together again. I can tell you from experience that works rather well, even when it involves people that I don't want to think about. But even in that instance, where our last interaction was a negative one, I can't help but think back to all the good times we had together, and for a moment I reminisce. It's nice when it happens.

We've all heard the phrase "nothing lasts forever" and we tend to dismiss it as a cliché. But we're still constantly confronted with that reality, even if we never realize it. As Al Pacino said in Any Given Sunday; "When you get old in life, things get taken from you. That's a part of life."  

We've all lost things in our lives, and I just don't mean toys that have been sold or people that we love who are no longer on this mortal coil. I'm referring to the moments in our lives where we're forced to accept that our circumstances have permanently changed, and that the way things were can no longer be the way things are. This is why you shouldn't be having kids when you're in your 70's, and no one over the age of 50 should be naked in public.

On a more personal note, this year I got that feeling once again. It's not just because I'm most likely leaving one job behind for another job, but there were things in my personal life that shifted so dramatically that I knew things could never be the same again. And seeing as how, for the most part, I liked how things were, I'd be lying if I said that this change didn't cause me some distress.

But that's all a part of growing up, isn't it? As much as I may cringe about reaching 30 years of life on this Earth, I accept it all the same. Because, if nothing else, it's a reminder that I need to keep moving forward. Is it sad that the good ol days are now just memories and dreams? You're damn right it is. But that doesn't have to be a bad thing, because even if they're not what's happening now, they still did happen. And who knows? Perhaps the days to come will be just as good, if not better. In my opinion, that's something to look forward to.

And the same is true for all of us: if we want to live a happy fulfilling life, we have to keep moving forward. We can reminisce about all the fun we've had in days gone by, but it's just as important to be ready for the days yet to come.

I think that's why New Year's is such a poignant holiday for all of us. It's a tacit acknowledgement that we have to say goodbye to the old, so we can say hello to the new.

And at the risk of making this entry so long that by the time you're finished it will be 2022, I'd like to do that now.

To all the people that have been with me since my early days, thanks so much for all that you've done. I appreciate you sticking it out with me this far and I hope you'll continue to do so for many years to come.

To all the people that I've met recently and have decided to join me on this ride, welcome aboard. We're glad you could make it and we hope you'll stay a while as well.

And finally, to all the people that are no longer here, whether they've merely left my social circle or left this mortal coil altogether, all I can say is that we've had a great run. Whatever our reasons for parting are irrelevant now and I wish you nothing but good fortune in whatever it is you decide to do. Perhaps, God willing, our paths will cross again some day. But even if they don't, I hope that every so often we'll think about each other and smile a bit.

And now I'd like to close with something different. Usually I ask you to comment below with something good that happened to you this year. You're more than welcome to do that. But if you're looking for a change of pace, may I suggest that you close out your 2020 (or open your 2021) by listening to this song from the great Ashleigh Ball and Michelle Creber (yes I know many of you are hoping to leave the Miniature Equines in the past, but I'm hoping you'll permit them one last indulgence).

https://youtu.be/XjkPH6sZM_o 

This is the song that inspired me to write this missive (along with the aforementioned Red Green) and as you're listening, I want you to think about all of those you said goodbye to this past decade. Think about all the fond memories you had together and give yourself a smile as the clock strikes midnight. Even if they're not with us today, we still have all the memories of them that no one can take from us, no matter what happens to the world.

And now the time has come for me to end this missive. Let the record show that this was my final word on 2020 as well as my expressed hope for charity, kindness and goodwill to flourish throughout the world in the years to come.

So, good night unto you all.

Give me your hands, if we be friends

.And 2021 shall restore amends.

[sope-and-shine]

Christmas Special: Day 2

-> Pairing: Jimin x Reader ->Idol!AU // Fluff ->Word Count: 2.5k ->Summary: When it comes to Christmas shopping, you’re pretty much a walking disaster. At least the handsome stranger your decided to bother is nice enough to put up with you.

A/N: Not as good as I was hoping it’d be, but I’m pleased anyways.

Christmas is a time for being together and a time for sharing. It’s a time for one to truly express how grateful they are for someone! That expression can be with words or actions, and everyone usually has a preference for one or the other.

That’s what lead you to entering the mall during their extended hours, wrapped in a beige coat with a white scarf tucked around your neck and matching hat and gloves. All you needed was just something for the rest of your slightly larger family, at least one thing for everyone. Gangnam might not be the best place for this, but the extra cost would be worth it in the end. Besides the quality gifts you would be sure to find, the mall sure was a sight for sore eyes at this time of year. Strings of garland wrapped around every railing, lights strung wherever they could find the space, oversized ornaments hanging from the ceiling, and a huge tree decked out in red, green, and gold! The mall was a sight to see this time of year, so going through the yearly chaos of Christmas shopping would all be worth it.

Picking out items for your sisters - and sister in law - was the easiest part. They told you what they wanted, so shopping for hours wasn't necessary with them. But finding a gift for your brother, brother-in-laws, and your oldest nephew would be the challenge you faced today. Your youngest nephew was easy: toys for learning and he’s done. Your next two nephews really only wanted nerf guns, so those could be ordered. Fourth nephew: Kid wants cars on top of cars. But your oldest nephew? He was a challenge just like your brothers. He plays too many sports, and everyone else was probably already covering every single one already. He plays video games, but you weren't about to send him a $50 Steam gift card and call it a day. You wanted something that would mean something to him.

You take the second floor first, entering a bit of a higher end store to take a look at what they have to offer. This store sells watches, clothes, shoes, and even bags! But you need the best of the best for this kid, and you don't want to be the lame Aunt that ends up giving him socks for Christmas. 

Approaching their miscellaneous section on the men’s side, you find a nice array of bags, shoes, socks, and watches - not to say the socks might win you over, but they’re really not that bad. 

You might reconsider the socks later.

You know he wants a new bag, and the bag in front of you seemed like it was of decent enough quality that it would get him through a few more years of school. And it was blue, so it already hit all of his requirements. But you also know he was talking about wanting a watch - even though he has an Apple Watch, so why does he want a new one? He said some new shoes would be cool, but does he really want shoes? 

“Maybe I should just send the socks and the steam gift card and try again on his birthday…” You mutter to yourself, taking a once over of the various pairs of socks they have hanging on the racks. You have no idea what you’re doing anymore. Your last relationship already proved that you don’t know how to gift other humans with presents, but there wasn’t really a service you could call to help you pick out gifts for your family members.

On the other side of the rack you see grey hair tucked away under a beanie peaking over the top. Out of curiosity, you take a quick peek around to make sure it wasn’t just a girl taller than you on the other side - from the way his muscles show underneath his clothes and his jawline you conclude that he is in fact not a girl. With nothing to really lose, you grab a watch and a bag from your side and slowly approach.

“Excuse me?” You ask hesitantly. He seems genuinely shocked at first, jumping back at your call away from the earrings and other jewelry items in front of him. But he regains his composer quickly when you continue, “Could I get your opinion?”

“Sure.” 

“I’m trying to buy a gift for my nephew - he’s 14 by the way - and he told me what he needs, but I’m not really sure that that’s what he wants. I have a couple options, but shopping for boys kinda sucks. No offense.” You say, trying your best not to be too overbearing, but still feeling the need to explain yourself.

He chuckles, “None taken, but you should probably just get him socks.”

“See, I’m trying to avoid that.” You sigh. You should’ve known that would be the answer. Why would a random stranger help you with a Christmas gift when he’s obviously trying to do his own thing?

“Well, what does he like?” The stranger asks, taking you by surprise. You stare at him in shock for a moment before opening up. “He’s really into sports: basketball, soccer - the American kind - and track-”

“-He runs for fun?”

“That’s what I said.” You agree. Only two minutes in and already you feel at ease with a total stranger. It was easy to explain how you felt to him, almost like he was used to this type of thing. “I’m at a loss for what to get him because I’m kinda out of the loop being an entire day ahead of him. Everybody else in our family probably got him sports related stuff already.” And that wasn’t a joke either. With a family as big as yours, there’s no way he wouldn’t have new clothes or new gear. If he talked about it, he was probably getting it already. It made Christmas shopping that much harder, not to mention he was a hormonal, teenage boy. “What would you want if you were a 14 year old boy besides video games?”

Your prince-like stranger takes a moment to think before he nods to himself. “Probably a girlfriend.” His response is such a boy response that you can’t help but scoff. “I don’t know if you know this, but buying another human is kinda illegal.” 

“If you get caught.” He replies with a playful smirk. 

...

“So, the watch or the bag?” You ask, choosing to ignore the look he’s giving you.

His playful composer changes as he reaches out to take the watch from you, inspecting it for a moment and handing it back, “Get him the watch. He’ll feel better about dressing up if he has something like that.”

“I didn’t think about that…” Getting a watch besides the apple watch would make sense. It may be small and slick, but a real watch would be flashy, stylish, and professional all at the same time! But still, you didn’t feel that this was the right thing despite the reassurance. You let it hang by your side and give a small bow to the stranger for his help, “I think I’ll wait for now, and come back if I don't find anything. Thanks for the input!”

“Yeah, no problem! Happy holidays!” He waves, returning to his shopping after you turn to put your items back. You take your leave from the tiny store and search for the next, moving on from store to store after every failed attempt at finding something. Nothing seemed perfect enough for you, and every present you saw was just as generic as the next with the same overpriced hoodies and sneakers. At this point, all of them were about to get a box full of socks if these last few stores flopped. But the department store at the end of the walkway looked promising enough having two levels, so why not hope for the best?

—-

Hoping for the best was probably the best option in hindsight. After a little walking around, you did start seeing items that you knew your extra brothers would be into. Stupid shirts that they’d say they hate but wear for family occasions anyways, glasses and mugs of various shapes and size - most of them looking lewd enough that you have to wonder if they’re actually allowed to be there - and just crazy gadgets that you know they won’t find in stores over-seas. You even had a few more interactions with the man that helped you in the store from earlier, asking him small tidbits about what colors he thought would be best or what mattered more. He was very helpful when he didn’t have to be, and he even assured you that you weren’t being a bother - talk about a Prince Charming. All of it was starting to come together, but your nephew was still ailing you. This kid was your first nephew - you grew up with him like an older sister! How were you supposed to pick out the perfect present?

That’s how you find yourself bent down in front of the display case for the watches intently staring at all of your options. They had gold, shiny gold, matte gold, rose gold, silver, bronze, blue, and every color under the sun that you could think of to choose from. For you to choose! Not only the color, but the style as well. Who puts this much thought into their watch?!

“I personally like the Fossil Luther three-hand with a leather band in all black.” The familiar voice of your stranger says from beside you, having snuck up on you while you were browsing. His presence shocks you enough that you fall over onto the floor from your bent position with a small yelp. “Sweet Jesus! Warn me next time. What’s with the mask anyways?”

“I look cooler with it.” He shrugs. He reaches a hand out and helps you back to your previous position before he scared you, joining you in your intense view of the watches in the display, “I thought you were going back for the other one?”

“Well, I started thinking about what you said. About how it would make him feel to dress up with a nice watch once in awhile. My nephew really means a lot to me, so I want to get him more than just a basic watch.” You explain. You’d known that you wanted to get him something special when you walked into the mall, and this stranger just helped you realize that it was easier than you thought. A watch was a simple gift, but it can also be very special. “I want to give him something with feeling behind it, you know?”

“Yeah, I do.” He agrees, a nostalgic look in his eyes as he looks straight ahead. He stands up to his full height and stretches before he takes a look at the display from the top to look at all the colors. “Can I see a picture of him?”

“You want me to show a total stranger a picture of my underage nephew?” You ask. Of course you were sarcastic, but the momentary flash of panic across his face was still hilarious. But his hand placing itself in front of you to shake was a bit unexpected. “My name is Jimin.” 

“I guess that works.” You shake his hand in return, pulling away to grab and unlock your phone to scroll through your sister’s Facebook page. Out of the millions of pictures of both your nephew and your niece, you settle for the picture of him at his first homecoming with his girlfriend. His hair styled back with a little bit of volume, his dress shirt a nice royal blue with matching blue socks and black pants, shoes, and vest. He looked so put together and you definitely cried for a whole hour when you finally got to see his pictures. “So what do you think? He’s pretty handsome, right?”

“Definitely.” He agrees, studying the picture on your phone. He takes turns looking between the photo and looking over the watches before he stops on the display case. He points at a silver watch with a black watch face, three hands, three small circles on the inside, and a black leather band. “You should go with this one. It’s a neutral color, so he can wear it with anything. That, and it’s face is a bit more intricate than others, so it looks expensive, but it won’t completely break you.”

“Thanks. I’m (Y/n), by the way.” You introduce, putting your hand out for a proper introduction. He smiles back, taking your hand in his own, “It’s nice to meet you. Officially, that is.”

You pull away, “I should probably get going so you can find everything you’re looking for without me bugging you!” 

“I didn’t mind.”

You smile and make your way to the checkout line, your small cart of items for your brothers ready to be scanned and hauled all the way back to your car on the other side of the mall. Waiting in the line to leave allowed you the time to think back to the man you met today. He was kind - and very cute - and he really didn’t have to help you out today. It was nice kinda shopping with someone else. It felt so much easier than your usual shopping, and altogether made you much more relaxed to go home to your apartment.

“Here’s your receipt, ma’am.” The cashier says, handing over the paper just so you could be reminded about how much money you just spent. You nod your thanks and wish her a good evening, taking your bags and starting your long trek back to your car by yourself. The memories of your stranger would now just be a memory of a missed opportunity on your part.

“Excuse me.” A voice pulls you out of your self pity. One of the clerks you had seen in the jewelry department stood behind you would a small, red box in his hand. He tilts his head a little, “Do you know a Jimin?” 

“Yes?” You answer, more of a question than a real response. You meet a cute guy and now other random guys know him too? This is what you get for ignoring stranger danger around the holiday when all the freaks are out. He probably wasn’t joking about the ‘not getting caught for human trafficking’ thing. “He told me to give this to you, and that you should really consider his offer.”

“Um, thank you. I will.” You bow politely, walking away uncertain of what just happened. Weird, but not the strangest encounter you’ve ever had. You decide to just get to your car before you take a look at what it was he wanted to give you that he couldn’t do in person. Removing the paper from the box, you open it to find a case for a watch - more specifically, the case for the watch you just bought - black casing with two glass panels to show off what you put inside. It screamed expensive, and you knew it. A paper on the inside of the box catches your eye and you open it, letting out a small ‘oh my god’ as you read over his note.

~ Hey, (Y/n)! Do you know BTS? Well, we’re having a fan meet this weekend and I’d really like to see you again so you can help me with my shopping this time. Maybe if you do a good job I’ll give you my number ;) Please, come and see me again! - Jimin

You don’t know what made you do it, his cheeky personality or his generosity. Maybe it was the want to thank him, but you knew that you’d definitely be going to that fan meet to see his smile again.

[newagesispage]

                                                                            JUNE    2020

PAGE RIB

FX and Ryan Murphy will bring us season 10 of American Horror Story next year. The cast includes Mac Culkin, Kathy Bates, Sarah Paulson, Evan peters, Billie Lourd, Lily Rabe and Finn Wittrock. There will also be a spinoff called, wait for it, American Horror Stories. Woo Hoo!!

*****

Reno 911 is back

*****

I happen to have a clementine in my butt. –Jimmy Kimmel

*****

NASA got their dragon launch. It is unfortunate that they had to compete with the current cycle.

*****

Sam Springsteen (son of Patti and Bruce) has been sworn in as a Jersey City firefighter.

*****

Ryan Murphy’s Hollywood is great. I don’t know how to feel about the fast and the loose and the nice made up endings like Once upon a time in Hollywood.  Will this be a trend??** Another great one on Netflix is, Have a good trip.

*****

Are there biopics in the works for Michael and Janet Jackson, Whitney Houston, the Bee Gees and Bowie?? That is the word.

*****

Days alert: Look for Lani to become pregnant. Eli and Justin are both thinking marriage. Claire is back which will bring Shawn and Belle back. Gabi may be kidnapped. Word is that July will have a wedding every week that will lead to a funeral.  Allie Horton is all grown up and heading back with a secret. Will she be like Mom, Sami?? Brady thinks that ruining Titan will get back at Victor. Sonny and Will may get a chance at another child. Eve may be back later in the summer. And, C’mon Xander, do something wonderful to get your woman back. Lucas may be on the way back and Orpheus is leaving. ** Judi Evans (Adrienne) had a serious horseback riding accident on May 16. She had broken ribs, a collapsed lung and 2 chipped vertebrae. The good news was in the hospital they discovered a blood clot so the whole thing saved her life.

*****

Morton Buildings is being sued by 2 women for harassment and discrimination. One incident claims an employee said, “God created women by lining up all the men and castrating the stupid ones.” Another lawsuit was filed in 2009.**Thanks for the tip, Di.

*****

If you expect elementary school children to endure the trauma of active shooter drills for your freedoms, you can wear a mask to Costco. –Sara Elizabeth Dill

*****

House republicans have sued Pelosi to block proxy voting.

*****

Seth Rogan, Steve Carell and Ben Schwartz are donating funds to bailout Minneapolis protestors after the death of George Floyd.** The country has been turned upside down as another cop kills another black man. No need to rehash, we have all seen it. I wonder if those four horrible cops are proud of what they have done to their city. Could we finally have a tipping point in this time when racism is spotlighted with our racist President? After many incidents in just the past couple of weeks and everyone on edge with coronavirus, it has boiled over. Scary Clown threatens to start shooting as Minneapolis burns down. Burn down a police station, get a cop arrested (finally)? Seems worth it to me. The way the killer looked into the camera as if he was just so proud is gonna stick with us as it should.  ** A CNN crew were arrested live on the air but released later after Jeff Zucker spoke to Gov. Walz.**  Liberate Minnesota was the Trump tweet, well, they are working on it.** I am hearing people saying in all sincerity lately that it is time for the humans to go, we are ruining each other and the planet.

*****

If you have not seen the Killer Mike speech from Atlanta, you need to check it out.** Netflix, Hulu and Paramount are taking a stand and showing support for the Black lives matter movement.

*****

John Cusack put out video of police coming at him with batons and pepper sprayed him as he protested in Chicago. More than 1000 were arrested and it continues.** In Flint, Sheriff Chris Swanson and other police put down helmets and joined the protestors. Police in Schenectady took a knee and joined the march. The behavior is spreading and look what a difference it makes, could they be starting to get it?

*****

Never thought I’d say this but in light of everything that is happening, the DNC made a big mistake in not backing Berne Sanders. –Pete Buttigieg ** Ok, first, of course he is right but you helped set this all in motion. It is a bit late for that …or is it? Biden is not the OFFICIAL nom, the deal is not done yet. Will Bernie jump back in the race?? Perhaps we will soon see BERNE FOR PRESIDENT again.

*****

American carnage was a self -fulfilling prophecy, alas. –Susan Glasser

*****

Scary Clown 45 has designated Antifa a terrorist organization. ** There is no legal authority for designating a domestic group, any such designation would raise significant concerns. –ACLU

*****

In any season, police violence is an injustice, but its harm is elevated amidst the remarkable stress people are facing amidst covid-19. Even now, there is evidence of excessive police initiated force and unwarranted shootings of civilians, some of which have been fatal. –American Medical Association.

*****

Washington Week had a great discussion about how all the ills in US history have played out in 2020. Impeachment, pandemic, depression and civil unrest are all here at once.

*****

Word is that Trevor Noah has been proven much more popular than the other late night hosts since they have been at home.

*****

I predict the picture of the upside down flag with the backdrop of the burning liquor store will be the lasting image of the Trump Presidency.

*****

This is the Presidency George Wallace never had. –Max Boot

*****

Spanish flu, Polio, Aids, Covid-19: Why don’t people get any smarter? The masses (and sometimes those in charge) can get it wrong over and over again. From Dr.? Phil and Dr Oz and their cavalier attitude toward death to Rosie wanting her son to take a leave of absence from the grocery store, we just do not learn. Even before that, I can’t forget the woman who wanted to change her vote after she found out Buttigieg was married to a man. Is she even a dem? Do your research people! Respect others, people!! Have compassion, stop being so selfish and use your brains!!** Puerto Rico was a pre curser to the pandemic response.

*****

Amy Cooper Chris Cooper? WTF? Another liberal who is not really liberal.

*****

Crime in general is down and police shootings are up. And yes, now the opportunists are out of control and anger is boiling over but protests against police brutality causing police brutality is WRONG!

*****

Check out the book, What makes a marriage last, from Marlo Thomas and Phil Donahue.

*****

Ben Taub, Barry Blitt and Colson Whitehead have won the Pulitzer Prize.

*****

Word is that Nick Cage will play Joe Exotic of Tiger King fame. Of course he will.

*****

I refuse to wear a mask because God did not have us born with one.- Nino Vitali** How many people have you heard say, “The President isn’t wearing a mask, so I don’t have to.”

*****

It looks like Apple will partner with Paramount for Scorsese’s adaptation of Killers of the Flower Moon.

*****

Oh my: Scary Clown is having a twitter feud with twitter!  He has to, of course, lash out and now signs an executive order targeting social media. He is going on about section 230 which gives immunity to social media companies against being sued over content.  It could curb liability protection. Experts say it will only encourage lawsuits because he does not want to be edited.

*****

If Native American tribes were counted as states, the five most infected states in the US would all be native tribes. –Nicholas Kristof

*****

Did ya see that Jeff Epstein doc from James Patterson. It is lays blame in all directions. Why does it seem like all these old guys on there with all that money have such yellow teeth?

*****

Lindsey Graham is urging Federal judges in their mid to late 60’s to step down so they can fill the spots with republicans.

*****

Richard McGuire tried to live at Disney World in a zoological park that was closed down.

*****

Caterpillar, Levi, Black and Decker and others have cut jobs but gave millions to shareholders.

*****

Axl Rose and Steve Mnuchin had a twitter feud.

*****

China announced plans to introduce a National Security law in Hong Kong. The law enables mainland Chinese National security agencies to operate in the city for the first time. Using a rarely used constitutional method, they bypassed Hong Kong legislature. Since the former British colony became a semi-autonomous region of China more than 20 years ago, they have manages its own affairs. The law will affect media, education, politics and international business. Many acts will now be criminalized. Hong Kong is party to international treaties guaranteeing civil liberties that China is not. The U.S. is urging Bejing to reconsider. Pro- democracy demonstrators in Hong Kong were tear gassed as they yelled, “Liberate Hong Kong, revolution of our times.”

*****

The Michael Flynn charges were dropped.

*****

Holyoke soldier’s home in Massachusetts lost 70 souls to Coronavirus. AP photographer David Goldman got a projector and cast big pictures the vets onto the homes of loved ones. Each one had a story including one vet who was sent to Nuremberg to guard Nazis. He claimed to have filled Hermann Goring’s glass with toilet water.

*****

The swimming Dinosaur, Spinosaurus has been getting a lot of attention.  The Sahara desert which was once massive rivers kept the first intact aquatic dinosaur.  With a snout, teeth and jaw like a croc, it is so far the only known kind of dinosaur that lived in the water.  The 50 foot long bizarre fin-like tail is like a giant paddle.  Paleontologists encourage others to have a look at other fossils to see if there are more.

*****

Octavia Spencer is said to have been telling everyone she is a year younger than she is. She is turning 50.

*****

The $69 million ventilator scam. Really? The White House heard from a guy who told them he could supply the product so the WH told NY to order them and stood behind the guy but it was a scam. Scary Clown sure loves his shady people, intentional or not.** A Florida woman, Rebecca Jones claims that she was asked to fudge the numbers to make reopening look better. ** Georgia moved their dates around on a graph to make their cases seem flattened. ** For 17 months, Florida investigated voter fraud for Trump and Gov. Scott. They found NOTHING!!

*****

Amazon stock price is up 25% yet they have become notorious for the terrible way they treat their workers. Bezos is set to become a trillionaire.

*****

We have to remember that order comes from chaos. True enhancements can come from large scale crisis. What will we learn from this one? This is a warning!!** Universal health care? No more buffets? ** Prices will probably go up everywhere what with the closings and all the extra cleaning. I hope this means that hotel bedspreads will be cleaned after every stay.  It looks like there may be no cocktails or food on planes.

*****

Take a virtual tour of the statue of liberty. All the fun without all the swaying.

*****

Local PBS stations are making it easier to learn. Students will be able to put on a channel for lessons that does not need cable or internet. Woo Hoo!!

*****

Insiders say that Trump threatened to sue his campaign manager because he did not agree with his assessment and the poll numbers in a 2 day rant.** Just one more example of Scary Clown double talk. Then: Less testing, less positives. Now: So much testing is a badge of honor.**Doctors without Borders are now here, not the third world countries that they usually help, it is US.

*****

Haven’t we had enough of powerful men being accused? A female Dem candidate would have been nice and Bernie did not seem to have any baggage that way either.

*****

Will the Senate see fit to ok some more stimulus $? 4 trillion to prop up Wall Street seems per the usual. Enough for them, let’s take care of those small businesses and those really in need.

*****

Thao and the get down stay down is one of the best in this internet entertainment era.

*****

Check out Stars in the House with Tony Shalhoub and others.

*****

The Detectorists on Acorn TV is a great little show!!

*****

Happy Day! There is a new season of At Home with Amy Sedaris!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*****

It looks like Pier 1 will permanently close as well as JC Penney, J Crew, Sears and Neiman Marcus.

*****

Check out the wonderful, This is about Humanity!!

*****

Have U seen the trailer for The King of Staten Island?? OMG Pete Davidson, Steve Buschemi and Marisa Tomei , just to name a few!! I can’t fucking wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*****

Bill Maher looked really high on his 5-22-20 show. This working from home makes him much more mellow!!

*****

3 Russian doctors treating coronavirus have fallen out of windows in about a weeks time.** Russia boasts that it has more ventilators per capita than the U.S. After they made fun of us, on May 22, the first shipment of U.S. ventilators headed to Russia. They are a gift from Trump and the U.S. taxpayers. –Julia Davis

*****

State Department Inspector General Steve Linick is out.  Was he investigating Pompeo?  Trump never knows anything about any of it. Why are all the protectors of the rule of law thrown out?  ** Was Pompeo throwing lavish foreign policy dinners with Reba, Dale Jr. and the owners of that horrid chicken sandwich place? ** The clean water rule has been suspended which cuts protections for most of the country’s wetlands.

*****

The market facilitation program has been helping small farmers over the last few years in a $28 billion bailout. Trump’s sanctions brought this on and the corona virus has made it worse.  Mostly the money has helped bankers and bigger farms. Much like the stimulus $ that was earmarked for small business, there are loopholes that screw up the ‘rules.’ The cap is not being followed like they may say because the $ is going to “investors” in the farm and often not the actual farmer who works on a smaller scale. A small farm run by family members may not get the bailout. It seems to be more important to get a good lawyer who can manipulate the paperwork.  Sad that taxpayer $ is used this way.

*****

Just in time, the Space Force flag and plans for the super duper missile have been unveiled. WTF??

*****

Paula Poundstone is a woman I knew I liked. She was recently talking about not liking couches. I thought I was the only one, People are always telling me how much they love their couches and I don’t get it.

*****

Jeff Gibbs and Michael Moore are upset after Youtube pulled their doc, Planet of the Humans. After 8.3 million views, there was a copyright claim by Toby Smith of about 4 seconds of footage.  Now , this is not the first time that Moore has had problems with content in one of his movies.  Many have claimed there is a lot of fiction in this latest venture. I think I would just remove the possible copyright infringement and move on. It can now be seen on Vimeo.

A Florida law that restricts felon voting is found unconstitutional by a federal judge.** The RNC filed a lawsuit against California to stop mailing ballots to registered voters.

*****

R.I.P. Little Richard, Roy Horn, Jerry Stiller, Sam Lloyd, Ann Sullivan, Mike Cogswell, Michael Keenan, Shirley Knight, Irrfan Khan, Hana Kimura, Forrest Compton, Jimmy Cobb, George Floyd, Ken Osmomd, all the corona victims, Lynn Shelton, Richard Herd, Larry Kramer, Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, Anthony James, Fred Willard and Carolyn Busch.

[ivycrossing0101010]

100 Days to Animal Crossing Challenge!

In the spirit of the countdown to New Leaf (remember when? :’) ), and to help  wile away the days, here’s 100 questions for every day until New Horizons is here! Enjoy!

1. Do you prefer making up a new name for your villager, or using your own name? I always name my villager after myself. I go for the immersion!

2. Do you use the first map you’re given, or do you reset for layouts? I used to reset for layouts, until I started hacking. In New Horizons, I'll just be resetting for fruit!

3. Do you use the face you’re given, or do you wait for guides and choose your favourite? I would look for guides. Even with hacking, it's easier to just start with the face you want.

4. Favourite town/island name?/Have you a name picked out for your town/island? My favorite town name that I've seen so far is Lunaire. I don't want to share my town name just yet. It's nothing revolutionary or anything but its personal I guess?

5. Will you be sharing with friends/family, or is your island going to be all your own? I will be having my own island! My husband will have his own island as well. He says we'll spend most of our time in my island though lol

6. What’s a new feature you’re excited about? T E R R A F O R M

7. Favourite fruit? Peaches!

8. Least favourite fruit? Pears!

9. Favourite area? (Beach, campground, shopping district etc, from any entry in the series.) My favorite place was the wishing well in ACPG. So cute and sweet. As much as I loved the plaza in ACNL, it's got nothing on the original!

10. Where do you like to like to put your house? Do you like that level of customization, or do you prefer to have some things decided, like in older entries? I like to put my house near waterfalls, its relaxing and good for fishing! I could never get my house near the water in older games, so it was a nice change in ACNL.

11. Favourite grass pattern? Personally, I never really notice the grass patterns!

12. Least favourite grass pattern? See #11 :v

13. Favourite villager/s? My fav villagers are Skye and Punchy 💕

14. Least favourite villager/s? I hate Elise the Monkey

15. Did you like doing Tom Nook’s chores, or did you find those to be a pain? I used to find them a pain as a kid but I miss them now. It was so much more engaging!

16. Favourite NPC/s? My fav would have to be KK. He's such a cool dude, he's just full of nostalgia for me.

17. Least favourite NPC/s? I don't really have a least favorite? I guess Katie's mom, her lipstick is tacky imo

18. Do you use paths? Are you excited about the new path tool? With hacking, I use clover paths so they're easier to see on the editor. I can't wait to have real paths, though!

19. Favourite feature from an older entry? The festivities! The neighbors were so much more engaged in ACPG, ACNL is sorta boring in comparison.

20. What was your first Animal Crossing game? My first was ACPG, the gamecube one!

21. Favourite activity (fishing, bug catching, fossil hunting, other)? Fishing was always exciting AND relaxing for me

22. Least favourite activity? Fossil hunting, but only because I don't get immediately results and I'm impatient lol

23. Favourite bug? Even though I don't like these irl, snails hehe

24. Least favourite bug? Scorpions and tarantulas, only because I've almost never encountered them in ANY game

25. A quarter of the way there! How’s the wait? Agonizing

26. Favourite fish? It's not actually a fish, but I like the softshell turtle!

27. Least favourite fish? The napoleon fish, that big blue one -.-

28. Favourite fossil? The ammonite!

29. Least favourite fossil? Don't really have one lol

30. Favourite furniture series? I've always liked the flower set you get from Leif and the mush set, so cute!

31. Least favourite furniture series? The holiday specific ones, they're so tacky and boring!

32. Favourite soundtrack? (Gamecube, DS/Wii, etc) Gamecube for sure

33. Least favourite soundtrack? Honestly, ACNL. Don't dig the steel drum

34. Favourite wallpaper? The ivy wall hehe

35. Do you have a nice memory of the games/community etc you’d like to share? I didn't really have too much interaction with the community until recently! I just gained a bunch of followers and it's super flattering lol I want to become more involved!

36. Least favourite wallpaper? Cheese...

37. Favourite carpet? I personally love the old board flooring, so simple and rustic!

38. Least favourite carpet? CHEESE

39. Favourite furniture item? The fairy bottle from the Welcome Amiibo update!

40. Will you be buying a Switch for Animal Crossing, or do you already have one? I'm trading in my old switch for the slick new Animal Crossing Switch!

41. Least favourite furniture item? The ultra things that you can get from Redd, so useless!

42. Favourite flower? Carnations!

43. Least favourite flower? Cosmos!

44. Favourite hybrid? Blue roses for sure

45. Least favourite hybrid? Any cosmos

46. Favourite shirt? The denim shirt, long sleeve

47. Favourite dress? I like the raincoat

48. Favourite accessory? Silver frames!

49. Favourite hat/helmet? The keroppi pins

50. Halfway there! How’s the wait going? Pretty numb!

51. Favourite shop? Dream Suite! So much fun visiting towns!

52. Do you collect amiibo cards/figures? Would you like to see them used in the new game? I have all the amiibo cards are all my fav neighbors, and about have of the total amiibo cards that exist. Idk if I'll use them right away and get all my favs or if I'll let my town naturally fill up and then switch folks out yet

53. Fishing Tourney or Bug-Off? Fishing Tourney, I like fishing more

54. Do you like making your own clothing patterns? I used to, but ACPC made me appreciate the already made in game clothes

55. Did you streetpass with many other ACNL players, or is it a feature you didn’t get much use of? I don't get much use out of it nowadays but I would always come back from conventions with a full showcase when I was younger

56. Favourite villager species? Cats!

57. Least favourite villager species? Monkeys

58. Favourite nickname from a villager? I don't really remember the nicknames I got

59. Least favourite nickname from a villager? I also always hated them!

60. Do you try to collect everything in the game, or just try to get your favourite bits and pieces? Bits and pieces for sure

61. Favourite villager personality? Normal and lazy

62. Least favourite villager personality? Jock

63. Do you “plot reset” for villager house placement, or do you let them move in wherever they want? During my first playthrough of ACNL, I didn't. Then I started doing it when I learned about it. Then I started hacking!

64. Are you excited to wear any of the new accessories (like the bags etc shown in the E3 trailer)? ACPC sorta spoiled that stuff for me, they're still very much appreciated though

65. What season are you most looking forward to seeing in New Horizons? Spring!! 🌸🌸🌸

66. What’s your favourite season? Spring again hehe

67. Least favourite season? Summer, kinda boring

68. Which game’s events/holidays do you like the most? Ones that are actually engaging with you and the neighbors

69. Which game’s events/holidays do you like least? Days like solstices, which just served as "Isabelle is unavailable" Days

70. Do you have another nice AC related memory you’d like to share (in-game, of the community, etc)? When ACPG came out, I was about 6. I had a DVD with those lame live action commercials and I was ENAMORED with them! Obsessed! I begged my parents for the game and they would hem and haw "well there's a lot of reading... you'll have to get better at reading... we won't always be able to help you read it..." and I swore up and down that I'd learn and practice reading. Obviously, nearly 20 years later, I'm still completely obsessed

71. Do you prefer the “live” versions of K.K. Slider’s Songs, or the airchecks? I like both but for different reasons. The live versions are nice and nostalgic and the air checks are closer to the aesthetic that they're actually trying to portray

72. An NPC you’d like to see more of? Farley and Serena!

73. An NPC you’d like to see less of? None in particular, everyone is pretty well designed imo

74. If you could have any piece of AC merchandise, which would it be? I once saw a cute bento box with pics from the movie, my soul died knowing I may never find it to buy anywhere

75. Only 25 days left to go! How’s the wait? Still numb!

76. Will you be downloading the game, or getting a physical copy? I'm getting a physical copy and my husband is getting a digital, so he can't be tempted to sell it!

77. Do you like coming up with your own town tune/flag, or using what the game gives you/something from a book/tv show/other game, etc? I like doing a sort of japanese "end of school" bell for my town tune, only for the town clock. Idk how I'm gonna do it in this game though...

78. Do you play every day, or every other day/when you feel like it/other? I used to play ACNL everyday, then it got a bit boring. I'm gonna play ACNH literally everyday forever lol

79. Are you the kind of person who starts over after leaving their town for a really long time, or do you try to get right back to it? I tend to restart a lot, but I recently decided to leave my ACNL town with no regrets so I hacked the crap out of it without feeling tacky or cringy

80. Do you remember how you got into the Animal Crossing series? It immediately caught my eye as a 6 year old and its had its grasp on me since

81. Do you like to make up a story for the town/character when you play, or do you just play as yourself? I play as myself but I sorta make a bunch of headcanons for myself and my neighbors and stuff to make it more interesting for me. Sometimes its embarrassing and sometimes I need to tell the people!

82. Favourite dream address / “theme” for a town (pastel, fairytale, forest, horror, etc)? My favorite town has always been Pastelia, although the mayor's name is escaping me atm >m<"

83. Do you like to have your house fully upgraded/paid off, or do you like keeping it smaller/having fewer rooms? I used to fully upgrade my house all the time but my current ACNL house only have 4 rooms and that's IT

84. Favourite hairstyle? The one with the middle split and it goes behind the ears

85. Least favourite hairstyle? The three ponytails, rip ACWW me

86. Favourite hair colour? I go either pink or my natural brown

87. Least favourite hair colour? That bright green...

88. Do you prefer wearing in-game clothes, or custom designs? In game clothes!

89. Favourite hourly track? 2 pm from ACPG

90. Just ten more days! How’re you feeling? Half paid off my new switch, so ready!

91. Least favourite hourly track? I don't think I have one!

92. Do you prefer to know all about the game before designing your town/island/house, or do you like to wing it? Bro, I've been glued to my phone since the direct came out

93.  Another nice Animal Crossing memory? ACNL came out around the time my husband and I started dating, almost exactly at the same time. Now its 8 years later, we're married, and we're gonna play another animal crossing game together finally!

94. Are you excited about same-system multiplayer? Its gonna be great for a lot of people, kinda useless for me though

95. Five more days! Are you going to trade/use amiibo to get your favourite villager, or wait for them to move in themselves/make a new favourite? I think I'll put in my 2 top favs, and then see what comes. Maybe after a few months I'll put everyone in

96.  Favourite emotion/Shrunk joke? I don't really like his jokes, but my fav emotions to use are the bashful ones

97.  Least favourite emotion/Shrunk joke? Not a fan of his dopey dance

98.  Is there a feature you’d like to add to Animal Crossing? I wanna be able to decorate for my neighbors so badly!

99.  Is there a feature you’d take away? It kinda seems like a lot of issues were solved in ACNH, I guess we'll see what's leftover as an annoying feature

100. Final day! Any more thoughts? Midnight release at my local gamestop! Gonna be there with a bunch of DOOM fans too! Can't wait!!

[castielgurl]

What Is And What Should Never Be Chapter 3

Natasha Painting by Steve Rogers

Art by: Javiartrealistic

Vormir 2014

James felt a little awkward with Uncle Bucky. Even though they both had the same name. He doesn`t really know Bucky. He just heard stories from his father before. He was his father best friend.

"Did your parents named you after me?" Bucky suddenly broke the silence. They climb a steep mountain. Vormir a dark and cold, No wonder why Clint didn`t want to return to this place again.

"Yeah, my dad often told me about Uncle," James answered. Mountain climbing is not a problem for James neither Bucky.

"Jeez, punks don`t call me Uncle I'm not that old." Bucky feels uncomfortable

"Aren`t you like hundred years old? Do you want me to call you grandpa?" James sarcastically

"You are just like your mother." Bucky chuckle

They arrived at the top of the mountain. But there's nothing there. No one, they didn`t see the red floating guys as what Clint told them before. James looked down to the bottom of the cliff. He now saw where his mother dies. He was horrified and sad when he remembers how her mother died below. What was in her mind when she fell? She must be scared. She probably was hurt so much. Her bone might be broken. With that James squeeze, he fist. This is not how things should end for her.

"James, it looks like the red guy is gone, the stone is gone, and your mother is gone," Bucky said, patting James's shoulder

"How do you know?" James asked

"Look at that" Bucky shows a portrait placed between the stone. The portrait is a beautiful woman, it was Natasha. He recognized the painting; the details all are similar to his father signature sketch. It must have been painted by his father. James took the painting. Behind is was written the note

"When I got here, I really thought I could save Natasha, but when I got to the top, there was nothing, no one, I tried to drop the rock down the cliff, but nothing happened, the stone back in my hands I don`t even know what I'm doing - I finally confess my defeat - I cannot get Natasha back, I leave this portrait here, so that the next person comes here, who came here for the stone, unfortunately, the stone you looking for is gone. I do this for Natasha. So no one else will sacrifice someone they care about. Natasha was the last; I believe that's what she wants me to do.

Natasha, we love you. You are always in our hearts.'

I love you.”

James makes a mistake. He thought his father didn`t care about his mother.

"It seems like we need to go elsewhere James" Bucky said as he patted the young man shoulders.

Brooklyn 1950

Steve was sitting and looking at the yard. His son and daughter are playing together. Steve never dreamed of having a family. Steve has gone through a lot of things when he managed to restore all of Infinity Stones he finally made the choice to return to 1940 to return to Peggy. She was initially shocked and disbelieved. Steve then told everything about where he came from.

Steve's daughter is five years old; his son is three years old. Steve has been married to Peggy for 6 years. Steve was very happy. Now he didn`t use Steve’s name anymore to avoid confusion with Steve who is in the ice. He is now Jack Monroe, but he still has the soul of a warrior. He runs a mission to eliminate HYDRA and Nazi before it develops within SHIELD. Nevertheless, Steve's priority now is his children. Captain America persona is now changing into Nomad.

Peggy set up SHIELD with Howard Stark. Nomad works secretly under SHIELD. He is a mysterious superhero. No one knows his identity except Peggy and Howard. Steve feels he's finally back home. Everything is very familiar and comfortable. Steve also tried to track Bucky before he turned into a cruel assassin. He succeeded and now Bucky works beside him as a sidekick to Nomad. But they had to use Super Soldier Serum to recover him from injuries due to the Bucky incident that fell from the train during the war with Red Skull. Steve has everything; he's together with the love of his life and his best friend also alive and becomes a hero as it should be.

But sometimes Steve is remembering his life in modern times. He sometimes misses fast food as in modern times and how everyone treats equally regardless of race or skin color. He misses his Avengers friends. Sam, Wanda, Thor, Bruce, or even Tony who was passing away and of course Natasha. Steve paints pictures of his friends. He worries if he will forget their faces. All his paintings are stored in his house.

Steve painted one of Natasha's portraits. It is very valuable to him. Peggy once asked who the woman was, the painting looked very personal and the way he described the woman in the painting as she was very meaningful in Steve's life. Steve takes the longest time to complete the women portrait. Steve never answered Peggy's questions. Sometimes Steve wept while painting her portrait. But Steve still refused to tell who and what happened to that woman. Peggy always remembered that she knew her husband but in fact many things she didn`t know about Steve.

Meanwhile James Rogers and James Barnes go to Brooklyn in 1951. They stole some outfits so they seemed like fit that era. James felt uncomfortable with his clothes. Everyone looked at James suspiciously. James's hair color and hairstyle would definitely steal the attention of the people around him.

He was fortunate enough to bring with him a hundred-year-old fossil. Bucky knows all the way there and he knows where Steve will be. Bucky brings James to the bar that was often where Bucky and Steve always hang out. They met someone very familiar.

Bucky greeted the man who was trying to charm a blonde woman.

"Hey, you Casanova! We need to talk for a moment" Bucky shows a gesture to chat in a quieter place. The young man, who was initially harsh, began to change when he turned and looked at Bucky's face.

"Sorry, beautiful, I'll be back in a moment," said the dark-haired man.

James was also surprised to see the young man's face. Although the man is without a beard, he knows the man. Bucky and the man looked at each other. How can be another Bucky in this timeline?

“Who are you?” The young Bucky ask as he pointed at his older self

“I am you but better” Bearded Bucky answers it with a smug on his face

“Where is Captain Steve Rogers?” James asking

“Who is this kid?” young Bucky asks

“Answer our question first,” Bucky tells

“Not going tell mine, unless you tell me yours,” young Bucky said as he lifts his eyebrows

James and James tell their story about time travel. The young Bucky didn`t look surprised. Because he had seen Steve from the future and save him from becoming Hydra Assassin. The older Bucky didn`t surprise that Steve will try to pull him out from the miserable life that happens in the future.

“Why do guys need to see Steve for?” Young Bucky asks while driving them to the Steve home far from Brooklyn town.

"We believe he has something we want to look for, or he'll know where the stone is." The old Bucky replied

"So this is all because of a stone? Like Tesseract?" Young Bucky knows about a stone with unlimited power. "Steve has such a stone? He never told me about it, here he is not known as Steve, and he is now called Jack Monroe"

They arrive at a classic 50s home, it's not big and luxurious but it's a beautiful and quiet home.

"Steve? Someone wants to see you" Peggy calls Steve who is sitting

Steve entered the living room of his home and was surprised to see the bearded Bucky sitting on his couch.

"Bucky? You're from the future? Hey punk what are you doing here?" Steve came to embrace his friend.

“You jerk look at you. You are a daddy now old man? It fits you” Bucky said as he laughs

Although he is with Bucky in every mission he still misses a friend from his modern world. Steve sat down with Bucky on the sofa before looking at a young man sat beside Bucky.

"Sorry we have not met, I'm Steve." he reached out to shake hands

James's reaction is very difficult to describe. He took a long time before he shakes his father's hand. He used to see the older and mature version of Steve who old fashion and protective. Seeing his younger father reminds him of the time when he was a child. He literally shaking.

"Um ..me James Ro ... You can call me James" James said before shaking Steve's hands

"Oh hey, Bucky who is he?" Steve wondered because he didn`t know who this young man was

"James, you just tell him who you are," Bucky told James

"Umm I want to talk about that stone; we know you know where the Soul Stone is. We went to Vormir and we have read your notes and your painting, I know who she is" James tried to avoid telling Steve because he didn`t want to shock him. Especially Peggy was there too.

"Natasha? You know her?" Steve was astonished as to how this young man knows Natasha

"The Black Widow, she's very important to me, she is my mother," James responded

"What do you mean, you are Natasha son? I didn`t know Nat has a son, and I know she couldn`t have a child. But are you one of Natasha's orphanages?" Steve knew about Natasha having opened a nursing home for children that lost parents after Thanos.

"No, actually it was completely different stories. I am not from this world. I am from another universe. In my universe where I live in, The Avengers are living a different life. It's the same as they call the Parallel Universe. In my universe, Natasha is the mother who gave birth to me, and my dad is you” James finally reveal who he was.

“What?” Steve reaction is priceless.

Next Chapter : James angry conversation with his father.

You can read in AO3 Here https://archiveofourown.org/works/18920308/chapters/44991490

[cecilspeaks]

145 - The Veterans

Fake it till you make it. Mike it till you like it. Book it till you look it. Welcome to Night Vale.

More soldiers of the Blood Space War have returned home to Night Vale. Another craft landed in the corn field of John Peters – you know, the farmer. Beings of astonishing structure emerged alongside four human figures in space suits. The astronauts removed their helmets to reveal they are Night Vale residents James Peters – you know, the brother of Johns Peters – you know, the farmer; twins Drew and Dan Christiansen, and Junior Blay. These veterans of the interstellar conflict were welcomed by the citizens of Night Vale with hugs, a brass band, and delicious unsold baked goods left over from last month’s PTA bake sale to support the Blood Space War.

The returning soldiers thanked the gathering, but warned Night Vale of the Polonian armies of star system Lakaia 9352, who are encroaching at this moment upon our own galaxy. Admiral Junior Blay of the 63rd mountain cavalry said the Polonians are ruthless killers. They are three times the size of humans, with hundreds of sharp teeth up and down their many boneless limbs. They have only one eye, which really messes up their depth perception, (Blay) said, but that eye can also shoot out lasers, so it’s sort of a six of one way, half dozen the other

The crowd did not hear most of what the veterans had to say, as they were mesmerized by the beings of astonishing structure standing atop the landing ramp of their disc-shaped craft. “Oh those?” Sergeant Dan Christiansen said. “They are allies. They’re from the Battlestation Wolfgang. They have no home planet, as it was destroyed millennia ago by the Polonians.” The crowd pointed and shouted “interlopers of astonishing structure” at the beings, but Lieutenant Drew Christiansen said: “Oh, they have no oral or written language. They cannot understand your noises.” Drew then did a kind of b-boy pop and lock dance move and the beings of astonishing structure replied with a balletic prance before entering their ship and departing. They said: “Thanks, but this place is weird.” Drew Christiansen interpreted for the crowd.

Dan and Drew Christiansen were born in Night Vale in 1912. They became tax accountants. They had wives and children. They donated to the old Night Vale Opera House and were avid sports fans. They even started the first ever semi pro sand hockey league. Dan passed away in 1994 of liver cancer, and Drew passed away weeks later of a heart attack. They were survived by their wives, children, and grandchildren. But upon returning to Night Vale this week, these 107-year-old men looked to be in their late 20’s. The Christiansen twins have attempted to reunite with their families, but they were unrecognizable to their grandchildren who are now middle aged. And when Dan and Drew tried to apply for jobs, they were declined on account of an antiquated law that makes it illegal to hire the dead.

Junior Blay, a 50-year-old man, said he was born in 2022 to Oliver and Linda Blay of Old Town Night Vale. The Blay family was contacted about this and said they had not planned to ever have children, so Junior will likely have been an accident or a dramatic change of heart. Blay was wounded in his combat assignment and returned home for treatment. He suffered third degree burns across his abdomen and arms and needs a skin craft, but the Night Vale VA has to wait for approval from the Red Mesa VA to clear his procedure, which could take weeks.

Jim Peters was honorably discharged from service and was heavily decorated with chevrons and medals. But his face sagged with exhaustion and history. His brother John was the first to greet him, but Jim could not match his brother’s tearful enthusiasm. Jim had seen too much, experienced too much, to ever feel normal again.

In light of the physical, financial, and spiritual crush on these men, the City Council announced that it would paint a giant American flag atop City Hall and play John Philip Souza’s famous patriotic march, “Bodak Yellow”, at all hours of the day over a loudspeaker. And the whole town cheered proudly, for they were truly taking care of our vets.

Let’s have a look at sports. The Night Vale High School wheel chair basketball team, captained by junior point guard Janice Palmer, won their semi-final game last night against Cactus Park High School 72-58. Forward Quinn Booman led the team with 20 points and also had 8 rebounds and 10 assists. The Scorpions fell behind by 16 points in the first half, but really found their inspiration at halftime. Coach Jacobite McPhee told his team not to get down on themselves because it’s impossible to make every single shot, you just have to have fun. McPhee then took out an acoustic guitar and sang the following original song.

[Joseph Fink sings] Physics is a science of made up numbers and rules So we can only make joy and pass the ball like fools. To win it leaves our hands of free will it’s true Cause you never ever know what that ball is gonna do. Physics is a science of made up numbers and rules So we can only make joy and pass the ball like fools. Yes we can only make joy and pass the ball like fools.

The team relinquished their illusion of control and dominated the second half offensively. The Scorpions face Pine Cliff this Saturday afternoon in the district tournament final, so let’s all get out there and support our team, really root for the ball to go into the… the hmm hmm, the the, you know the thing that the ball is supposed to go into. And this has been sports.

Senior strategic advisor Jameson Archibald at the Intergalactic Military Headquarters, speaking from an inflatable raft atop an infinity pool filled with Remy Martin Black Pearl Cognac, said he and his top strategists in the Intergalactic Military Headquarters still have no idea what the Blood Space War is about. But they’re glad to learn that the Polonian armies are approaching. “We’ve got all this money piling up for the war and we’re getting bored with hosting Lamborghini demolition derbies,” Archibald said. “The government keeps sending us cash and we’re like OK y’all, but like what are we supposed to do with iiit? And the feds are like, I don’t care start a war or something.” But unfortunately the government allotment for an interstellar war was wiped out on a failed investment in a tech startup that was pitched to them as “the Uber of Netflix of Facebook” by a 7-year-old wearing a suit. So, the Intergalactic Military Headquarters was forced to ask for contributions. Hence, the PTA bake sales. Additionally, the Sheriff’s Secret Police were able to provide several armored combat vehicles, two tons of enriched uranium, and a satellite activated missile launching system, all of which had been donated to the Secret Police by the US army.

Sheriff Sam said they had wanted to keep all that high-tech battle gear, but using a nuclear submarine to stop Night Vale citizens who were fishing without a license, created to what Sheriff Sam referred to as “less than satisfactory optics”. Archibald said he was appreciative of the Secret Police’s charity, but he’d just received word that the Polonian ships are already within the outer limits of our solar system. So not sure there’s much left to do, really. He then took out a roll of 100-dollar bills from his shirt pocket and ate it like a Snickers bar.

An update on the high school basketball tournament. The City Council announced that there will be a parade for the team, win or lose, next Tuesday evening. The parade will feature giant floats in the shapes of famous basketball players, such as Oscar Robertson, Larry Bird, and Little Bow Wow. There will also be a celebrity appearance by Lee Marvin, who will be celebrating his 30th birthday on Tuesday. Aww. Happy birthday, Mr. Marvin!

The City Council expressed civic pride in this talented team of young athletes, and enjoined all of Night Vale to come out in celebration of sportsmanship, regardless of the outcome of the championship game. “Of course,” the single-bodied entity of the City Council said with uncharacteristic mirth, “we think our team will win.” The City Council’s many faces then winked in unison. “Also,” the City Council added, “If you look up in the sky, you’ll see that a large chunk of the moon just exploded and the Earth is surrounded by enemy space crafts, but there’s not much we can do about that, so let’s just cheer on our basketball team.” The City Council then held up their many fists and squealed: “Yay team!” as pieces of the moon began to thunder down around us.

Let’s go now to today’s Weather.

[No Good Day” by Windows to the Sky https://windowstosky.com]

I’ve just received an email from Harrison Kip, archeology professor at Night Vale Community College. Kip told me that while on a dig in 1993, he and his team of researchers found remnants of several spacecraft buried deep in central Nevada. Kip was studying fossilized remains to determine eating habits of early North American habitants, but what he found were several triangular titanium vessels, each roughly the size and shape of a Burger King. He tried to check his notes from that excursion, but those pages had been torn out of his journal. Despite this, he’s positive the ships he can see above our Earth are identical to the ones he found crashed in the desert 25 years ago. Inside those ships were creatures the size of hippos, with long dangling limbs covered in sharp teeth. Kip remembers calling the college to ask for more funding for this research, but before he could do anything, a black van drove up to the dig site and several men wearing business suits that were patterned in desert camouflage got out, they arrested Kip and his assistants, and had them reprogrammed.

Kip said the reprogramming was successful until today, when he heard my news reports about the Polonians, and his memories suddenly returned to him, and now he believes he knows exactly what has happened in the Blood Space War and how we will end it. He’s going to type up his notes while they’re still fresh in his mind, and get them over to me asap. Oh, this is so very exciting! Science saves the day. Once again. Uh huh, here’s a follow up email from Harrison. It says: “Hey Cecil, disregard whatever I said earlier, I don’t even remember what it was. Some guys I didn’t know showed up and put a metal helmet on me, there were a bunch of wires and knobs and lights coming out of it and it felt so peaceful and comfortable, like when you’re eating Belgian waffles with ice cream or binge-watching Terrace House, anyway I don’t remember what I sent you earlier since (--) have been deleted, so whatever it was it couldn’t have been [angrily] that important? Sincerely, Harrison?” No! No, this is terrible. OK, I’m going to forward Harrison’s first email back to him to see if it rejogs his memory. We’ve gotta learn exactly what- Hello? Hello there? Listeners, there are some men entering my studio. They’re wearing business suits made from a desert camouflage patterned fabric! Oh, Gucci, I love it! They’re, they’re putting this crazy hat on me and it has a bunch of lights and wires, hang on Night Vale, listen to this interview I recorded earlier today with John Peters – you know, the farmer. These boys are here trying to get me ready for fashion week, I-I-I think?

John Peters: Jim came home this week and I was real happy, happier than a pig starring in its own TV show about pig detectives solving pig murders. My brother taught me to play football when we was boys. He’d throw the ball and say: “Johnny, move your hands together like salad tongs when the ball gets near you, that’s called ‘catch’.” I tried so hard to catch that ball, but I never could. [chuckles] We had fun. Jim taught me so much and he took care of me, running off the bullies at school, buying me soda pops and candy canes from this man who lived in a trunk of a broken down ’56 Chevy in the alley behind the post office. I’m almost 60 years old and my brother left for the war back when I was 15. And to see him again, boy to see his face after so long, he ain’t changed one bit. He literally is the same age as when he left, 22 years old. But he’s not the same Jim. He don’t wanna throw the football or go looking for discount sodas and candy in weird alleys. No, Jim looks sad. His body’s strong but his mind seems so weak. I saw him crying the other day and told him what our papa always said to us: “Jim, boys don’t cry. Not without talking through their feelings with someone else.” So I put my arm around young Jim. I must have looked like a granddad - me so old, him so young - but our memories of each other were the same age. Jim cried into my shirt and said, “Johnny, I’ve been in that war darn near a hundred years. That’s a lot of space travel, not a lot of fightin’ but when there is fightin’ it’s gruesome.” Jim said he didn’t wanna see no more war, but he said that in his last battle he risked his life to disarm a bomb that would have killed ten of his fellow soldiers, and one of them was the General. “The General has a plan for ceasefire,” Jim said, “the General has a plan for peace. But I think the General needs me, Johnny.” I said, “Jimbo, I need you.” But I knew that I’d been without him for 40 years, while this General was with him for nearly 100. I knew I was lyin’ to Jim and myself. Jim hugged my neck and kissed my cheek. He donned his space suit and walked out into the corn field and disappeared. I think my brother is gonna save us all. Anyway, it’s a sad story, but it’s also happy. Like a goat playing a piano, stories carry lots of different emotions all at once.

Cecil: [sounding high] Alright, listeners, I’m back. I don’t remember what I was talking about, nor where I got this really cool hat. But City Council announced that the space ships that were surrounding our planet are gone. But they were deeply unnerved by the fact that the ships did not retreat, they simply disappeared. The City Council then added that the moon is still broken but honestly, they see this as a crisatunity to buy a new one.

Oh, don’t forget to come to the basketball championship parade on Tuesday.

Stay tuned next for simultaneous panic and relief, As you realize all of your emails are gone.

Good night, Night Vale, Good night.

Today’s proverb: Develop your chi. Really work that chi hard. Get sixpack chi. Totally swole with chi. Roll up those sleeves and welcome people to the chi show.

[williemeikle]

ABOUT FUNGOID

When the end came, it wasn’t zombies, asteroids, global warming or nuclear winter. It was something that escaped from a lab. Something small, and very hungry.

In this one you'll find a chunk of Newfoundland, a fireman, some nasty rain, a bit of real science, a lot of unreal science, some Canadians, many cigarettes, some trucks, boats and planes, and plenty of spores, mushrooms and rot.

It's for fans of John Wyndham, William Hope Hodgson and H P Lovecraft, and is a wee homage to a lot of the things I’ve loved since childhood. As such, its origins come from several different life strands.

There's something a lot of people don’t know about me: I used to be a botanist. And no, it doesn’t mean I know about gardening. For my honors thesis I studied how much archaeological information could be gleaned from analyzing pollen grains in the strata of peat bogs in Central Scotland, I spent a year after graduating in cataloging the plant fossil collection in the Hunterian Museum in Glasgow, and after that I had an abortive attempt at doing a PhD in the causes of rot in apples as they ripen.

Along the way I also learned quite a lot about fungi. The pollen analysis stuff hasn’t made it into a story of mine yet, but the fungi have; there’s something insidious about the creeping of mycelium, something obscene in the flesh of the caps, something scary in the fact that they spend so much time in the dark, just sitting there… growing.

I started to get a germ (or should that be spore ) of an idea a few years back of a fungal takeover of the planet, and I tried it out in a piece of flash fiction that I sold to NATURE FUTURES. It was just one image I had in mind, of a dark sky and vast, endless fields of high fruiting bodies. The image wouldn’t leave me, and it came back in another story, THE KEW GROWTHS, in my Challenger collection where the Prof has to tackle a giant fungal menace threatening London. That story was fun, but the image I had in my head was still for something a lot darker – something insidious, obscene and scary.

Then in early 2016, another, accompanying, image came, this time of a man in a HAZMAT suit, with nothing inside that was remotely human, just creeping filaments and bursting spores. As soon as I had him in my head the story all came together.

So that's one thing. Another is the fact that I love end of the world stories.

There's something cathartic about seeing everything being torn down. It also makes for amusing daydreams when the boss is being a tool or when the commute seems to take forever. And who doesn't think they couldn't do better at building a society if given a chance?

So there's that, and there's also the sheer spectacle of the thing... the same reason people like to slow down to look at car crashes. There's a "there but the for grace of God" vibe you get when watching or reading the world being torn down. Emmerlich and Devlin hooked into that early and have made a pot of money out of those very same vibes.

I started my fandom of the genre young and at first it was from a Science Fiction perspective. The British ones from the '50s and 60's got my attention, in particular John Wyndham's DAY OF THE TRIFFIDS and THE CHRYSALIDS. Them, and A CANTICLE FOR LIEBOWITZ were my earliest introductions to the form. After that came tales of cosmic disaster, mainly Lieber's THE WANDERER and Niven and Pournelle's LUCIFER'S HAMMER. My interest was further piqued by Terry Nation's TV show THE SURVIVORS, and Stephen King's THE STAND, the first to being real horror to the genre IMHO. But my favorite in the genre is by Robert Macammon. His SWAN SONG is a roller coaster blockbuster which eschew's King's religious trappings for non-stop action and gritty realism mixed with a slug of the supernatural. My kind of tale.

There is much that is good about civilisation that I'd certainly miss if it went, such as books and entertainment, central heating and modern medicine. But on the whole, civilisation as mankind defines it is hell-bent on destroying the ecosystem and we're too stupid to stop shitting where we eat. I don't think it's a matter of why or why not. We're now at a stage where it's only a matter of when. I just hope it's a few more years yet.

As for FUNGOID - it's pretty obvious there's a big Day of the Triffids influence, and that's deliberate, as Wyndham was one of my favorite writers when I first started reading in the genre back in the late 60s/early 70s. There's also several William Hope Hodgson touches, again, mostly deliberate. If there's any unintentional ones there, I haven't spotted them.

The third strand that weaves its way through FUNGOID is a sense of place.

Having written a lot of stories set back home in Scotland or in London, and now a bunch in Canada, there's no real difference between them at all for me. A story is a story is a story. This one, however, is set firmly in my new home.

We came over for a holiday in 2005, and fell in love with the place. I was considering writing full time, and when the opportunity came up to sell our house in Scotland, we took the plunge and came on over and got a great house on the shore with a sea view for a tenth of what it would have cost back in the UK. I've got a great view from the writing desk, I can write full time, and watch the eagles fly over the bay and icebergs go past in Spring. It's a quiet fishing village, and it suits me just fine. It's still pretty rural and unspoiled, a lot of the old traditions, mainly Irish ones, are still followed, and a lot of the old songs are still sung in the bars. It feels more like a Scots/Irish community than anything else. It feels a lot like home to me.

The story begins with spore-filled rain over Newfoundland. I’ve trashed my new homeland in this book. Sorry.

All of the above were in my head when I sat down to start. And thats the fourth strand that makes this book what it is - the writing of it itself.

Below are two quotes from reviews of FUNGOID, and both of them pleased me greatly. I love it when I connect with a reader who gets what I’m up to.

“William Meikle is a talented writer, the story is perfectly paced so that the story isn’t bogged down by character, drama or the science – instead it’s a perfect blend of all three. He doesn’t mince words or add any excessive detail, each word he writes is essential to the story.”

“The story is extremely fast paced, leaving little room for breathing as you flip through the pages.”

I work hard at getting the pace and flow of my work right. Actually, I work hard at all of it, but the pace and flow is what I concentrate on. FUNGOID came through fast and hard, and I let it come at its own speed. It rolled along so smoothly it was as if a film was being unwound in my head.

And that's how I think of it, now that its done - a glorious, '50s influenced, B-movie with a creeping menace, an end of the world scenario, and plucky survivors - and scientists - trying to save the day.

I love it, and I hope you do too.

[allysia]

writing prompt: stuck behind an old lady at the grocery store buying a hundred things in the express check out line

You’re a blessing, Erin. This got shippy AF though. *sweats nervously* Totally not my intent hahahahaha. I will go down with this damn ship

Under the cut for convenience

“I am going to strangle this old bat. She has at least 50 items!”

“I know, Rippen.” Audry couldn’t help but snicker at her boyfriend’s annoyance. Rippen was gripping the handle of the cart so tightly that she thought the plastic would crack. The handle of a cart which only had a few select few items in it. Bread, wine, some cookies, and a box of chocolate for them to share. What? Villains have sweet tooths too!

“I mean, it’s an express lane.” He spoke again, a bit louder.

“I know, Rippen.”

“You’d think the fossil would--”

“I know, Rippen.”

At her annoyance, Rippen shot her his own irritated look. She held strong and stared him down. Defeated, he began to lean on the handle of the cart. He huffed a sigh, “I’m just saying, my dear, it’s ridiculous.”

“We could always go to another line,” Audry muttered back, watching the old woman in front of them meticulously look at every item’s label as she scanned it. She grimaced, “Come on, is it really so bad to have to--”

“Yes. I hate the cashiers here.” Rippen grumbled. His eyes darted to the other available lines. This store was short staffed today, but there were still a few lines that wouldn’t be completely unbearable to wait through. Rippen just didn’t enjoy, nor did he want to tolerate, the faux pleasantness that most of the staff bore when they were interacting. Even when he was in his worst moods, they still tried to grin and make conversation.

Though Audry wouldn’t have minded a little conversation with their false smiles, she decided that it was more likely they’d stay sane through this old woman’s checking out then it was for Rippen to even come close to agreeing with her on the matter.

“Fine.” She huffed, “We’ve been through worse.” Grateful for the present, Audry thought back to the dimension where they were all snails trying to complete a 50-foot race and shuddered.

 After a moment, Audry grabbed Rippen’s hand through his crossed-armed stance and gave him a patient smile. She giggled at the shock she was usually met with when she did. Even three months after their entrance into the relationship, he still wasn’t completely used to the affection he so often turned away before. Audry decided to show him more. The woman placed a long kiss on his cheek.

Rippen knew that Audry could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks before she moved back and saw it. He began to grin, without meaning to. He hid his face in his crossed arms, muttering something under his breath. She moved a bit closer, and giggled, “What was that?”

“I said ‘I love you.’” He moved his head back up to smile at her. She hadn’t seen him as such a lovestruck fool until he met Lady Starblaster, and then again not until she confessed her feelings for him. She ran a hand over her shockingly soft hair.

“I love you, too, baby.” She assured him.

Another five minutes passed, and the cart was almost empty. Audry tapped Rippen’s shoulder and pointed to the door. He looked, puzzled. She sighed, “Can I wait in the car, babe?” She asked.

She noticed his eyes narrow. “You do, and I’m breaking up with you.” He said. His humor was dry, but thankfully she understood and was able to laugh.

“As if you could do any better, Goblin Man.” Audry couldn’t help but laugh as she tapped the end of his nose. He smirked, “I could, but you’re the only one I want.” He leaned forward and kissed her lips. Audry smiled through it. She always smiled when he kissed her. Even without meaning to, she smiled. Years Audry had waited for their lips to meet, and so recently they had. It was magical. They pulled away and stared for a moment…

Finally, the receipt printer sounded down the aisle, and the couple looked ahead of them. It was the old lady who smiled back. She placed the receipt in her purse and waved, “Oh, how sweet. I remember when my husband and I were young an in love.” She sighed, “Old fool still kisses me goodnight every day.” She pushed her cart down the aisle without another word.

Audry and Rippen exchanged a look a nervousness. They moved forward blushing. Both smiled. 

Kisses goodnight...the future sounded nice.