#and then again in.... im gonna go w carl's

[horror-aesthete]

Van Helsing, 2004, dir. Stephen Sommers

[n3tworksucks]

i was wondering if you would write hc about carl dating a girl w depression ? or like how he would act in a relationship when his partner is struggling mentally

HEYY GUYS, IM BACKK. SORRY IF ITS KINDA BAD, IM GETTING USED TO WRITING AGAIN.

warnings; mental illness, medication, lmk

word count;660

so, let's say yall were friends before you started dating, yeah?

so if you told him when you guys were friends, obviously he'd care and he'd say he'd be there for you.

which wasn't a lie.

he really was there for you and he really did care.

but when you guys started dating, and once he realized, like, what was happening to you.

it was a whole nother level of care.

and before, of course he new how bad depression is, probably being able to see it a lot, but its different now.

hes still there for you and he tells you a lot.

I can see him already being clingy, so I can see him being with you a lot.

not even just because you're struggling mentally, but because he's your boyfriend and he loves you.

but if you want your space, he totally understands and will give you all the time in the world, he'll wait for you.

he'd wait behind a closed door, or he'd wait at his house and with you at yours.

speaking of, he doesn't mean to be all on you about this, and he knows you can take care of yourself.

but sometimes he doesn't want you to be home alone a lot.

he'd want you to stay the night or two at his house.

again, not just because you're struggling. he loves you, and his family too..

or if you have a rough home situation, he'd 100% tell you you can stay however long you need to.

though he had to convince fiona a little bit about that, because she doesn't wanna feel like she has to take care of you as well, and don't get me wrong, she loves you and wants you around, but she just needed a bit of reassurance I guess.

but in the end, she, and the rest of the family welcomed you with open arms.

so back to carl.

if you take any medication, he'd honestly try his best at not trying to bug you about it.

like asking if you've taken them today.

but when he does, hes not just doing it for you, hes asking for himself as well, so that he knows your gonna be ok.

and I can see you and Ian kinda relating to each other for that, like talking about how it could be annoying, but you're happy he cares.

or if you see a therapist, he'd be more than happy to take you, and if not, that's ok.

if you're just feeling really, really down, you don't wanna get out of bed, no motivation to do anything.

he'd try and help somehow.

like bringing you food or water, or staying in bed with you. or he'd even clean a bit for you. only for you.

and if you're just struggling with school maybe, he'd offer to help with what he can, and he'd feel kinda bad if he can't help, but after he tries, he'd go to lip for help, then help you.

and if you're dating before he left for military school, when he decided to go, he really thought about it.

he didn't wanna leave you, but once you told him to do it for the 20th time, he went lol.

the day before he leaves, he spends the whole day with you, telling you how much he loves you.

and just as hes leaving, and saying goodbye, he'd hug you the longest, and give you kisses on you're face and he'd tell you how much he loves you.

in general, his go-to when it comes to trying to comfort you is physical touch, next to that is affirmations.

he loves hugging you, and kissing you, and telling you how much you mean to him and stuff like that, it makes him feel good too.

even if he doesn't 100% know what you're going through in particular, he'd try his best to and hes doing his best.

[decapolicemoment]

decapolice trailer

surprised that they confirmed he was top of his class (i knew he could do it). i wonder what carl placed

also going by their dynamic yk boston’s gonna be worrying about harvard later in the game (father figure of the year)

2. in most of the stuff we had before, the order was always harvard carl zhang mani mikey, though ig they log in the order harvard carl mani mikey zhang. does it mean anything? probably not

3. “My world is starting to move forward again”

☹️ therapy arc will go crazy

4.

two things. one, did they change where the bear comes in or is it going to be a reoccurring criminal? or does the bear stand for something else, maybe a criminal who they don’t have the identity of, so the bear’s a placeholder until they get better footage.

other thing is the lyric: “A line, once crossed. But compulsion’s strong.” He’s definitely going to go too far, or do some morally dubious things.

5.

i’m wondering if the hacker can take over characters data, in the sense that he can control them, cause it seems to be a Decasim employee who hands them the box/bomb/hack. Harvard had a gun pointed at him, so he was probably acting suspicious, and then the hack opened and changed stuff, like a trojan horse virus

6.

(i love her design) her hair reminds me of the clown’s, possibly related? she’s also the only one to have hair i wonder why

6.5, the lyrics at that moment “wings stained white as shadows descend without a trace” while showing her. in most cases (cause stained glass windows) things don’t get stained on purpose and they don’t stain themselves, usually it’s an outside force (staining a shirt, etc). perhaps she’s painted as a good person w/o her doing anything, while her true self (the clown) keeps doing things without anyone noticing. or maybe i’m reaching

7.

going back to 5, if the hacker’s able to override controls, then ig he got taken over or it’s js really convenient lighting. that or carl’s going to betray us/knows more than he should

8.

the lighting makes him look like he has eyebags go to sleep silly

9.

she might be human?? no name but atleast we have a full design

10.

the cat plush means smt im js wondering what. ❌’s for eyes, is harvard gonna almost die. maybe the clown has a lil harvard cat plush, for whatever reason he/she may need one

also “Just one thing remains”, his whole family is dead ig, but he only seems to care about his mother, probably because she was the only one murdered.

11. the thing that i still can’t understand

just about everything is confusing with this photo. why is his father ugly, and why does he have zero traits from him? why are his eyes GREEN?? neither of his parents have it so what’s up with that. why does he have the cat plush, and is there an in game reason why Harvard looks like it? who’s the cake for, it can’t be for him.

my biggest guess is that the hacker made it in his mother’s house in decasim, maybe as a way to mess with Harvard, show him what could have been or smt. maybe he’s trying to convince harvard to stay in decasim for whatever reason, showing his family alive and well, celebrating him becoming a detective, and the lil boy is his brother.

and finally 12.

who is telling him “we’ll meet again”? chances are it’s the clown, but maybe it’s his brother/clone/fakevard

anyways 10/10 trailer except for the 2026 release date

[i-luv-carl-grimes]

𝔅𝔩𝔞𝔠𝔨 𝔬𝔲𝔱 𝔡𝔞𝔶𝔰

S1 Ep4

Mute

Warning: abuse, language and lots of valance as well as gore if you are younger then 14 please don't read

************************************************

"Maybe she can't talk," Carl said, I then focused on what was behind him, it was my father's revolver, flannel as well as my hoodie, my bag, and my mother's necklace all covers in dirt and blood, their rotting corpses pop in my head. "Oh my god she's shaking" the woman with short hair said and tried to grab my hand but I moved away I got up then Lori walked in front of me. "Darlin' was trynna help you," she said but I pushed her and grabbed my stuff. "that wound is still bad," the other women said and the boy handed me a pad of paper and a pen

'I dont need your help, I didn't ask you to help me' I then held it up before slamming it back on the table. "Well where are you gonna go," a man said walking in he was tall and looked mean he was holding a crossbow

So it was you

I picked up the pad of paper. 'Fuck you' I wrote and once again set it down as Lori gasped. I then grabbed my hoodie and painfully put it over my head. "At least stay till your healed," Carl said and I stopped. "I messed up I know but let me make it up to you then you can do whatever the fuck you want," the man who shot me said, I picked up the pad of paper. 'Fine, but only because you have my stuff' I wrote and he sighed. "Daryl," he said and let out his hand but I just walked passed only for someone to make contact with my arm I quickly ripped it away. "We still have more to do with that cut," the woman with short hair said and I walked back in.

They're not letting me leave.

They took my hoodie off and unwrapped the bandages I looked down to see a very ugly rigged stitched wound that hurt like hell. "What's your name," Carl asked and handed me the notepad.

Do I tell them?

It's not like Rayne was my actual name

'It's Rayne' They all looked at it and smiled. "I've never heard of something like that I'm Carol," the woman with short hair said. "Do you have a group?" Daryl asked and I shook my head clenching my fist as the images of my family all dead ran through my head. "How long have you been alone?" Lori asked and I shrugged my right shoulder. "How about your family," she said and my nails dug deeper into my hand as skin broke, I then grabbed the notepad. 'You dont need to know all this, it's not like im staying' I wrote and she nodded. "How old are you?" Carl asked and I just gave him a dirty look. "Carl how about you go explain to the others what's going on," Lori said and he nodded I then picked up the notepad. 'How many people are here?' I asked. "Enough to make it safe," she said backing up to admire her patch job. "You can leave now but don't go off camp," she said. 'Don't make me your problem' I wrote and stood up pushing passed Daryl and Carol and walking out to see that there were quite a bit of people, and 4 cars a few people waved and others just gave me Sympathetic looks, do they think I'm weak?

"Hey there kid how ya feeling," an older man said holding a rifle in his hand. "Oh sorry Carl told me you can't talk, I'm Dale," he said and held out his hand but I didn't take it I just walked away when a familiar blue-eyed boy ran over to me. "Mom said you're going to be sharing a tent with us from now on" He smiled and handed me the notepad. 'Can't I be alone?' I wrote. "It's not safe alone," he said. 'I'll be leaving soon anyway' I wrote and his face dropped. "The last time someone went on their own Shane found them as a walker, being alone isn't safe please stay!" Carl pleaded but I just turned and walked in the other direction to avoid every conversation that came by

I then found myself sitting on a rock a little ways from camp looking at the lake as everything that has happened these few days flooded my mind.

It was all my fault, my father died because I was weak my mother died because I was weak and my sister died because I was weak. I can't get close to people just to disappoint them

After all, that's all I was

A disappointment

Name: unknown

Nickname: Rayne

Walker kills: 2

Living kills: 2

Age: 9

[winderlylandchime]

2/2 Hunter showed up now all dressed nicely and showered ‘he looks like he’d knock on my door to talk about the big guy. I like him..little shit’ ‘oh Ted. *starts shaking his head* this hurts a lot. Emmett come on baby, please get rid of him until he gets better. This is not okay. Oh fuck you Ted! WHY IS HE MAD THAT EMMETT IS SUCCESSFUL?! He deserves good things! WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS TO ME? This fucking finale for this fucking show better be good or im gonna be so fucking pissed at them for making me sad all the time’ ‘FUCKING TRUMP BITCH! WHY IS BRIAN HERE?! what the hell is going on? Oh he looks pretty. *looks at me and puts his hands up in defense* dont take this wrong but leather looks good on him. I mean he looks nice in suits but this *waves at brian in stockwells office* Bellissimo!! I like his hair, its all spikey and shit. OH FUCK YOU, you cant do shit for him! *does a little cheers to him with his soda* yeah! No apologies and no regrets. I should live my life like that too *long pause while he goes to get his pills in the kitchen* but i got anxieties bro. HE is offering BRIAN his job back? After he caught him fucking on his own troll posters? Oh he is SCARED!’ The Ted/Em party is on ‘this is killing me. Drugs are evil and so is that fucker! Ted come on! WHY IS HE BEING PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE?! Emy baby, sugar, you deserve better please.’ ‘YES BRIAN! I KNEW YOU WERE SMART! EVEN THO FOR SOME REASON THEY MADE YOU DUMB IN THE BEGINNING OF THE SEASON! *looks at me and pauses tv on Brian again* okay be honest.. could i pull off that type of leather jacket like him? Like that brown one is my new favorite thing. I want it. *points at me while continuing to watch ep* that b-t-w is what oxford dictionary would call a hint. Carl stop being stup- HES DEAD?! THE COP IS DEAD? Suicide? But he made sure to wash his car? What the fuck?’ *once again pauses tv on Em and looks at me with a big smile* ‘i think i have a new idea for a shirt (me: please no, youve done too much already) oh come on! Little mary go fuck yourself sounds hilarious. You’re no fun.’ ‘AW BLONDIE TOOK OU-HIS BOYFRIENDS ADVICE! Thats right Blondie! Gotta take care of your education so that you can be successful and be successful boyfriends with your succes-well currently unemployed boyfriend but oh well. THEY WANT HIM TO WHAT NOW TO WHO? Oh hell no! Absolutely not! Fuck you all.’ ‘Full offense but I wouldn’t allow this doctor mark or whatever to put a fucking bandaid on me. Emmett please im begging you leave him. You deserve way better. Ted *points at him* get fucking help. NO EMMETT NO YOU ARE NOT ANY TYPE OF TRASH FROM ANYWHERE! You dont need him! WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS TO ME?!’ Hunter was told to make a wish for something he wants more than anything ‘wanna bet that his wish was for Brian to fuck him? That’d be mine. Okay Mel is on my good side again.’ ‘ITS JUSTIN AND BRIAN AGAIN! *said with a goofy smile on his face* Brian cares so much about Blondie’s education, it’s actually adorable. I don’t think he cares about anything as much as him doing good in school and being successful. AH-DOR-ABLE! (Justins says sometimes you have to sacrifice everything for what you believe in) *stands up quickly* AND THATS WHY I SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO EAT A PICKLE! Because i believe I am way better than some weird allergy! (I go to say something and he immediately stops me) shhh- hold up, Brian is gonna do something cute. OH DAMN LOOK AT THAT KISS AND HUG! I was right. Put on the next episode, i already miss them’

Put on the next episode, i already miss them is the biggest mood ever

Uhh, remember what I said about hearing him wail all the way in CA? Well “this fucking finale for this fucking show better be good or im gonna be so fucking pissed at them” is making me more worried. Maybe you should have some fanfiction all pulled up and ready to go, just shove it in his face while he’s still crying.

The Ted and Emmett party is so so cringe and awful. Poor Emmy.

He wants Bri Bri’s leather jacket (Gale looks so good in leather) for christmas? From you? Oh lord.

I will take a Team Brian and a Little Mary Go Fuck Yourself t shirt when he sets up his etsy store.

I don’t think Justin’s “sometimes you need to sacrifice everything for what you believe in extends to your brother eating a pickle.

[villanevehaus]

Ch XII

Amused but not surprised to find that Eve’s love language is violence. So much kicking.

Enjoyed the “Russian smile” call out. I like thinking that it’s Eve’s way of seeing Oksana, even if she doesn’t realize that’s what she’s seeing.

I’m fascinated with how maladjusted Eve is and am enjoying that we continue to get little morsels about her childhood. Everyone experiences trauma differently, but contrasting her and Villanelle’s memories… it’s wild seeing where they’ve ended up.

Makes me happy to read about the pair of them flirting and playing together. Are they both chock full of cruelty and homicide? Sure. But it’s super cute.

Awkward acknowledgment and gratitude for the body contact/compression. Hopeful for an upcoming perspective swap where we can read how it made Eve feel, if Eve even knows.

Is it weird how much I like their interpersonal confrontations? I feel like fights with Niko centered on Niko’s needs and feelings, but when Eve gets testy with Villanelle, Villanelle pushes back differently. Villanelle centers the dialogue in a way that forces Eve to acknowledge her own feelings—and it makes Eve recognize how she’s treating Villanelle without making her more defensive. Cathartic as fuck.

Another one of Villanelle’s cheeky wordplays. “…fucked the life out of someone… .” Hooo boy, did she ever. Love, love, love it.

Oksana’s breakdown about family. :((( How are these moments so much harder to read than descriptions of fingers digging into intercostal muscle tissue? You know the scene in season 1 where Eve says Villanelle has earned the right to kill whoever? That’s how I feel about Oksana whenever I reread Oksana or Uncle or little moments like this family scene. You go ahead and murder whoever you want, sweet girl. *gentle pat on the head*

I’ll be honest, I have never liked Hélène’s character. Every moment she’s in the show, my brain screams SKIP. But I trust you and look forward to how you’ll leverage her character for something interesting and intrinsic to the plot.

As ever, thank you for a lovely chapter after the last few weeks you’ve had. I have this saying, “One too many rides at the fair”—whether it’s good or bad things, sometimes we experience one too many things and it ends up overwhelming. It sounds like you had a lot of rides at the fair. I’ve had a lot of rides at the fair lately, too, and it was such a kindness to still have a new chapter of TME to read. Really, thank you, haus.

tme anon

Postscript - let me know what you think of The Cell, if you get around to watching it. I triggered my own worms and have rewatched it twice myself since mentioning it.

TME: i am so glad you like their conflicts bc thats exactly what vil (and i) are trying to do! eve may not know how shes feeling but she sure is feeling it.

THE CELL: here are the notes i took while watching it in the dark on my Big Screen:

- JENNIFER LOPEZ

- VINCE VAUGHN!??!?!?

- VINCENT D'NOFRIO?!?!?

- music by howard shore hello???

- what da hell

- "directed by tarsem singh" yea that tracks

- please tell me that [carl] isnt vince vaughn w hair

- i love when movies toss u in and are like good luck!!! :) feels very "this is MY movie and I get to make the sense"

- jlo being frustrated that she cant sleep while in a room that has all the lights AND the television on. girl the call is coming from inside the house!!!

- how is he spiking himself up like that wadda hell

- oh hey its the guy from breaking bad

- oh my god its vince vaughn with hair

- "i thought you were gonna go home, get some rest, clean up" [brushing his teeth in the break room] "i did" - VERY tme eve

- im loving the camera work in this

- oh my god vincent d'onofrio is carl???

- yet again arts and crafts from found materials are demonized </3

- the cinnamontography :D

- i have decided that catherine and the other scientist lady are gal pals

- the water scene??? the baptism w the crane shots?? i go crazy i go stupid

- HORSE GLASS PANES!!!!!!!!!! giving damien hirst (neg) (fuck damien hirst)

- already fucking hard w this movie ngl

- vince vaughn is so bad at smoking cigarettes wtf why are so many of his butts half smoked

- what if we hooked carl and edward up like what would happen beyond Horrible time for edward. dyou think it'd throw adult/god carl off to have another boy in the house

- uh oh [do not remember when this was]

- i GASPED when the new collar came out

- vince vaughn has entered the chat

- as a bitch who Exclusively has lucid dreams i choose to believe i would be excellent at this

- vfx off da fucken CHAINS

- jlo dont chase the rabbit or whatever they say in pacific rim

- vulture :D

- this is one of if not the wildest movies ive ever seen

- cant believe thats vincent d'onofrio disemboweling vince vaughn in front of sexy jlo

- i want props from this

- they simply dont do costumes like this anymore

- or sets

- you guys are idiots obviously the weird shape line drawing thing goes with his back hooks come on man

- theyre girlfriends your honour

- said "whoa" out loud when adult carl's voice came outta child carl's mouth

- dude this movie fucks crazy hard tysm for showing it to me

- as someone who used to have nipple piercings i feel for carl

- me got boy, boy me got :(

- we love pieta imagery!!!

- i am forcing my gf to watch this w me tomorrow

- :(

- :(((

- SHE'S KEEPING HIS DOG i am emotional

- this movie rly said there is no escaping the inner child

i will have better, more succinct thoughts once the worms have had more time to digest and i have shared them w my gf but oh my god i loved it!!! so stylish, so unique, so?????!?!?! SO!!!!!!!! one of the movies of all time truly tysm for reccomending it to me

[bruce-wayne-simp]

Ok im watching pirate radio/the boat that rocked because I'm a Tom Sturridge stan now

(The movie follows Carl (Tom Sturridge) a 17 year old who got expelled from school for doing drugs. His mother sent him to live on a boat with his godfather Quenton and the band of DJs who run the pirate radio. Shenanigans ensue, the British government tries to take them down, its a good time. Also its set in the late 60s)

I'm like 15 minutes in and it's awesome so I'm gonna liveblog i guess

This is gonna be very Carl-heavy (see 'im a Tom Sturridge stan' above)

Also spoilers if you care about being spoiled for a movie that came out in 2009

From the summary i thought Carl was gonna be some tough-guy rebel but he's just so smiley and innocent and respectful and it's rly sweet. Idk if it's a British thing or what but yeah

The guys are all very stereotypical "guys" and i honestly kinda love it

The one scene where Carl is kinda settling in on his first day and he comes into the Count's DJ space(?) is so funny. Hes like 'are you nervous' and gives Carl a hug then slaps his ass and tells him to get the fuck out

The f-word scene is BRILLIANT. Go watch the clip on youtube it's so good

Carl just revealed hes only been to all boys boarding schools and as a result he is a virgin and has also never kissed anyone. I know enough about this movie to know it comes up later. Also the way he can barely say 'sex' is adorable

Also Carl is very relatable

Midnight Mark is kinda hot ngl

Oh Jesus christ 🤦‍♀️

Apparently 'later' is NOW

Secondhand embarrasment galore oh my god 😭😭😭😭 poor Carl

Dave tried to trick his hookup by letting Carl have sex (basically rape) her so he could lose his virginity. For what it's worth, Carl is reluctant because of the morality of it (and he's an impressionable 17 year old) and she turns the light on and sees him and they both scream

Omg we're at the scene where we meet Bob. Poor Bob does the show early in the morning and nobody ever sees him so when he comes down in the morning everyones like 'who tf are you'

Thick Kevin: what was his name again?

Young Carl: Really?

Oh btw Thick Kevin and Young Carl are roommates on the ship

Aww Quenton gave Carl a date w his niece, Maryanne, for his birthday

Lmaoo he literally said hi to Maryanne and then left and is asking Dave for a condom

'Do you know how it works?' Carl, babe, your answer doesn't sound very convincing

Carl, my love, you JUST MET HER. I cannot overstate how naive he is.

Dave is an asshole. That's all. (He almost fucks up Carls chance with Maryanne and then sleeps with her while Carl is looking for another condom)

'Maryanne, I see you.' Heartbreaking 😭😭

Honestly there are some very sweet moments and this is one of them 😭😭😭

Harold and John bring Carl tea and biscuits while he's sitting on a bench, upset. They don't say anything but by the end of the scene Carl is eating a biscuit and smiling and Harold gives him a hug 😭😭😭😭😭😭

(Link to the scene bcs its so sweet: https://youtu.be/66U9Kfr4UhE )

And honestly when Gavin gives him the condom was kinda sweet too. Like he's proud of him and gives him advice (bad advice, but still it's the thought that counts)

I fucking love Felicity. She's the only woman on board full time and that's because she's a lesbian. I hope she gets her girlfriend ❤️

Omg Midnight Mark was having an orgy lmaoo

Simon is so sweet😭😭 He went to Carl and Kevin's room and told them he's getting married and I'm pretty sure just asked Carl to be his best man??

'HANDS OFF, YOU LESBIAN' Love it

STAG PARTYYYYYYYY

Omg he's known her for 2 weeks

This entire sequence is very British 😭😭

Oh God they're all hungover

Ooooh who is Carl's father???

God he's so pretty in this scene

Link to gifset (if ur a sandman stan you've seen it before):

'I think sometimes i should be called Clever Kevin. What do you think about tha-' *falls out of bed*

THE WAY CARL DIDN'T EVEN FLINCH AT KEVIN FALLING 💀

Aww Simons speech to the listeners about his wedding was sweet

THE WEDDING

Simon holding Carls hand and Carl being like wtf and walking away

Quenton: We are gathered here in the sight of God, apparently. Which is, I don't know, scary?

Carl is smoking while being Simons best man i love him (Protip: looking for Carl in a scene? Look for a cigarette first)

Oh god Simons new wife just told him she's in love with Gavin

Oh no she only married Simon to get on the boat to get with Gavin :( Poor Simon

Top tier music choices all around though

Harold is such a good friend

Everyone here has two brain cells between them (yes im at the Chicken Game)

Aww Gavin apologized to Simon

Lmao they're basically playing never have i ever

Aww Carls mom is coming by

'Just in case you wanted to brush your hair or hide that stack of pornography you keep on that shelf' QUENTON

Oh god he's dreading seeing her

Aww Kevin wished him luck 😭😭

He asked if Quenton was his dad and his mom was like 'uh no wtf'

Its BOXING DAY

'It was a shag well shagged the night you made this little fella' Dave to Carls mom

DAVE SAID CARL IS ONE OF THEM AND THEY WANT HIM TO STAY FOREVER AWWWW

The posh government people on boxing day im sobbing its so funny and silent

Oh god Bob is Carls father (Bob gave Carl a message earlier and he told her right before she left)

She was like 'How old are you' and did the math from there lmaoo

CARLS MOM SLEPT WITH MARK HAHA

'Telll Mark it was a lovely night!' 'NO! NO!!' lmfaooo

Carl is telling Bob hes his dad oh my god its so sweet

JOHN DON'T INTERRUPT. FUCK

Parliament just created an act making pirate radio illegal as of new years day

Quentons like 'pirate radio is dead' and everyone else is like 'nope'

The Count pulled the 'Murica card lmaoo

'Obviously im in. You're the only people in the world who like me' IM GONNA SOB GIVE CARL A HUG RN

OMG MARYANNE IS BACK

And her friend Margaret

Carl ur so fucking cute (he ssked if she wanted to play scrabble or something 😭😭😭)

OUR BOY IS DOIN IT

omg is Felicity gonna sleep with Margaret??

Lmfao the FUNNIEST SCENE

Ok so Carl comes out of his room in the morning, he turns around and the entire ship is standing there cheering, The Count is on the air and the nation (20 MILLION PEOPLE) are waiting with baited breath as to if Young Carl lost his virginity

The Count is asking him if he did it lmaoo

The Count: -and remember, the reply 'i don't wanna answer that question' means yes

Young Carl: im certainly not going to answer that question

Lmao John is reporting it as news 😭😭 'a nice young man has lost his virginity in the north sea'

Lmao Felicity and Margaret are popping their heads out of another door and everyones smiling GOOD FOR HER

Lmao they're leaving and Felicity is holding a huge sign that says I love you

Listen its the 70s lesbians gotta do what lesbians gotta do

Omg the govt raided the wrong ship 💀💀💀

Holy shit the engine just exploded on the ship as they were sailing away

'Ok the good news is the engine has just exploded and we're all going to die' Quenton NEVER misses

(The bad news is theyre gonna drown/freeze to death in the North Sea btw)

Theyre asking fans for help

Gavin: Here's a rather long record. I hope I'm here at the end of it.

FUCK

They're all grabbing the shit they can/stuff they want and can carry

Carl just ate shit oop

Oh wow the government isnt gonna save them bcs of 'costs'

Midnight Mark is a badass. Going through a sinking ship in leather pants?? Unmatched. Icon.

Lmao Angus is like 'i know nobody here particularly likes me but I'm glad to have known you all' and Simon is like 'no!! Everyone here likes you. Raise your hand if you like him'

And everyone does except Dave who tries and can't make himself do it so Simon says to be honest and everyone puts their hands down lmaoooo

Oh no where's Bob? Also Carl literally says 'where's my dad?' And i just wanna know if everyone knew beforehand or if that's how they found out who Carls dad is

Omg Bob had no clue the boat was sinking because he was listening to music

Bob just let go of your fucking case you are both DROWNING

Aww Dave saved Carl bcs he felt guilty about sleeping with Maryanne

God they're climbing up to the top of the ship now

Oh no the Count is gonna go down with the ship

Lmao Carl said fuck

FANS ARE COMING TO THE RESCUE

Theyre jumping in to swim to the rescue boats and Bob and Carl held hands to jump in together 😭😭

Gavins doing a backstroke lol

MARYANNE SAVED CARL (and kevin)

The rest of the ship is going under

THE COUNT RETURNS

EVERYONE'S ALIVE WOO

And the movies over, bye lol

[punkscowardschampions]

GC, Ronali & Cali

Ali: Who’s gonna fill me in on what I’ve been missing out on/did any of yous care I might’ve been 💀

Ali: Carls not included, of course 😘

Ronan: ‘Course we did

Ronan: not much you’ve missed is all

Carly: told u 🥱😴💀👻

Ali: Boo 👎

Ali: is it not the season, like

Ronan: Barely, like

Ronan: cut us some slack

Carly: no we shan’t

Ali: oh mein gott

Ali: it’s actually THE most festive night of the season, you’ve just reminded me Ro

Ronan: What? You’ve lost me

Bartley: Is she speaking German

Ali: Barely, like

Ali: you don’t know about Krampusnacht?

Ronan: Are you on about [insert some crap krampus horror film you think she’s talking about cos they exist]

Ali: Yeah but it’s not just a film, boy

Ali: it’s folklore, so tonight 🎅 & 👹 come, if you’ve been good, you’ll have a present from 🎅 if you’ve been bad, 👹 will get ya

Ali: [tell them about the Krampus run vibe and how it’s an excuse to get pissed and scare people, in a nutshell lol] so…

Ronan: Ah, now I get it

Ali: Did you keep your costume, you’ve got a headstart if you did

Bartley: Once again mine is useless

Carly: my ma’s for sure a whip yous can borrow 🎅👹😈❤️

Ali: See, resourceful

Ali: sure [Halloween pop-up girl] sold you a lasso

Moses: Sharing is caring

Carly: tis the season 🎁🎁

Bartley: I thought you had a boyfriend, Ali

Ali: What’s that got to do with anything?

Moses: Where’s your sense of fun, Bart

Ronan: He only means what’ll he, if not your parents, say about partying for a made up holiday

Carly: made up when yous dont wanna party

Carly: any excuse when yous do

Ali: Honestly, like

Ali: if no one is bothered, I’ll take the party elsewhere, no big

Carly: it’ll be fun eejits 🎅🎁👹🔔⛓🌜😈🐐

Moses: Ignore them, it’s a party, ‘course, where else would you want to be, really

Ronan: It weren’t a no

Ali: the enthusiasm I love to see

Carly: what a day when im w mosey boy

Carly: never thought I’d see it again

Bartley: didn’t you say that last time

Carly: have u something to say yourself boy?

Bartley: I just said it

Moses: 🤣 fuck’s sake, calm down children

Ronan: I am calm

Ronan: confused as to what’s going on or not now though

Bartley: that’s new

Ronan: Who got you out of bed on the wrong side?

Ali: let’s not, a fake holiday is not worth the aggro

Bartley: Fine by me

Moses: Jesus, you really are in a pissy mood, boy

Johnny: Leave him be, taking the piss’ll make it no better

Moses: A party’d sort you out

Moses: all work no play, as they say

Johnny: Enough, least he pulls his weight on jobs

Johnny: you want to worry yourself less about parties little girls throw

Moses: I don’t pull my weight? How come I got picked for [a job, idk, but you know the vibes lol] and you didn’t?

Johnny: How come you reckon you’re to air our business here when it’s no place? Sort yourself out and find me where you’ve the knowing I’ll be if you’ve something more to say when there’s no girls listening

Moses: I’m not trying to talk to you

Moses: and no one else is trying to talk about work but you

Johnny: What you’re trying to do is lead my brother astray how you did your own

Ronan: Come on, don’t let’s fight

Bartley: Yeah, stop it

Ronan: Ali, if the party goes ahead and I’m still invited, count me in

Ali: not going to be accused of not being able to read a room that much, like

Ali: but I’ll be sure to catch you soon

Ronan: [private @ Ali]

Ronan: What was all that? Do you have a clue?

Ali: Maybe I really did bring demonic vibes to the chat because no, not really

Ronan: I had myself crossed you coming back would be a different vibe, yeah

Ali: Sorry

Ali: if it’s consolation at all, that’s mutual

Ronan: Some

Ali: you’ve forgotten how boring school is, that’s the problem

Ali: lost so many IQ points forcing myself in that place every day

Ronan: Every day? I don’t believe it

Ali: Alright, alright but Carly really did need me that day

Ali: compared to my usual, gold stars all ‘round, like

Ronan: What’s wrong with Carls

Ronan: she seemed grand then, unlike the rest

Ali: Girl problems

Ali: I thought all that might be family troubles, hence I kept myself tactfully quiet

Ronan: No one’s told me of troubles but I’d be last to hear

Ali: ah, look, I’m probably way off and it’s just me coming around again pissing them off

Ali: long as you’re more pleased to hear off me than you gave out at first?

Ronan: I didn’t mean nothing by calling it a made up holiday

Ronan: I’ve missed hearing off you

Ali: I know you didn’t, we’re all good

Ali: it’s been so weird, not coming ‘round here

Ronan: Been as bad not having you

Ronan: as you can see

Ali: Be why I was trying to bring you the party

Ali: but it’ll wait

Ronan: It shouldn’t

Ronan: Moses had his point, who can be in a mood and have a face on in the middle of a party

Ali: He would think so

Ali: I don’t want to piss off Bartley and Johnny though

Ronan: The one’s that way through no fault of yours and the other’ll cheer up for it, trust us

Ali: Should you try talking to Bart or is that the worst idea ever

Ali: worse than switches and forked tongues, even

Ronan: I’ll give it a lash

Ali: You might wake up to a present yet, boy

Ronan: What’ll it be?

Ronan: and don’t say a surprise

Ali: 🍊🪙is probably traditional

Ali: you’d rather coal, I bet, or a surprise 

Ronan: You can decide on what you reckon my saving the party is worth, was your good idea in the 1st place

Ali: You really want to?

Ronan: Yeah

Ali: and obviously I’m gonna bring way better presents, you knew that right

Ronan: Might’ve crossed my mind

Ali: ‘tis the season 🎀

Ronan: Have you watched [more bad krampus films]

Ali: [tell him the ones you have from that list but some you have not]

Ali: I could definitely make a better one tonight though 📹😱🩸

Ronan: Find me whenever you’re after being filmed, I’ll do it for you

Ali: Okay Mr. Director

Ali: it’s a shame how well your name lends itself to a Roman Polanski ref because it’s not a compliment 

Ronan: Am I best not to look up who he is?

Ali: In your defence, you’re allowed to date teenage girls

Ronan: Right, he’s that sort

Ronan: someone should’ve filmed him strung up by the balls

Ali: There’s still time, along with the rest still working

Ronan: Gonna need to give us a minute

Ali: 📜🔪⏱

Ali: you can have the night off, as you’re coming to my party

Ronan: You’re having it then

Ali: things can’t be made worse by it, can they

Ronan: Nah, I don’t reckon so

Ali: Blame you entirely if it’s not so then, yeah?

Ronan: Yeah

Ali: 💛 you wanna be on the nice list so bad

Ronan: I’d be a dope to wanna be on the other tonight

Ali: 👹 not a fan?

Ronan: Be a list who’d volunteer if I was after being beaten up without 👹 busying himself

Ali: Never

Ronan: Join us in the nice corner, like

Ali: I don’t know if that’s a possibility 

Ali: but I have banked a whole fortnight so we’ll see

Ronan: You’ve a start made

Ali: 😇 make heaven yet

Ronan: Gates are staying closed a long time with all the living you’re yet to do, getting ahead of yourself there, girl

Ali: no 💀 wish

Ali: just

Ronan: Just?

Ali: Sorry, that was ominous

Ali: nothing important

Ronan: Or nothing you want tell me

Ali: I’ve just missed you all

Ronan: Least you never forgot all of us

Ali: am I 👩‍🦳, boy?

Ronan: Taken like you are now

Ali: Hardly

Ronan: What’s hardly to mean

Ali: I’m not 🤰💍🤱

Ronan: I wasn’t saying that, going there

Ronan: you who called him your boyfriend, don’t it matter?

Ali: It matters how?

Ronan: To you and to how you act

Ali: I can still party

Ronan: Well, I’ll talk to my moody cousin and get the party brought

Ali: I can

Ronan: I don’t know his mood’d be improved but go for it

Ali: Dunno about that either but least I can do

Ronan: You’ve done nothing to upset him far as I can tell

Ali: Everyone just gets lairy in group chats, sure it’s nothing more

Ronan: Maybe he’s been working too hard, everyone heard that said

Ali: Oh, I thought you meant Bartley

Ronan: I do, who else would I?

Ali: like you’ve not so many cousins, cut me some slack

Ronan: Could always be more

Ronan: [and tell her about some other peeps you know who have loads more than you]

Ali: Crazy I could have that many

Ali: but my parents families aren’t exactly around, they don’t feel real even if they exist

Ronan: We’re all of us within shouting range here, I can’t think what you having family you don’t see must be like

Ali: I feel sorry for my daddy, he never wanted to leave his brothers and sisters

Ali: just how it is though, for me, always has been

Ronan: ‘Til we arrange our roadtrip for you to go and stay 

Ali: 😁 ‘til then

Ali: awkward if they all suck

Ronan: Bad craic and odds if it’s all of ‘em, yeah

Ronan: yours are both good enough to make the amends for it though, I reckon, and pick up any slack

Ali: when’d you get so good at pep talks, damn

Ronan: I dunno that I am really

Ali: I’d not lie to you

Ronan: I’ve alright odds for getting the party back on track then

Ronan: just give him his own

Ali: Godspeed, Ro

Ronan: Be grand

Ronan: have yourself ready for your fake holiday when wes show up later on

Ali: do you even know me

Ronan: I’ve some knowing of you, sure

Ali: then you know dressing up is half the fun

Ronan: Were on halloween

Ali: see

Ali: your costume was sick

Ronan: We might’ve left a 👿 mask over somewhere, see if I can’t wow you again

Ronan: [speaking of trying to impress her talk about what you currently have in your fireworks stash and what you could feasibly get in the short notice of this impromptu affair]

Ali: my kid brother is not invited this time so 🤩🤩🤩

Ronan: Between us we’ll give him something to watch from his window so’s he’s not left out

Ali: you’re adorable

Ronan: I know the aggro when they are, ‘course I’d spare you

Ali: can blame himself for his previous making it a no-go

Ali: learn him a lesson

Ronan: Would’ve had you down as a more fun sister

Ali: Wow, shocking 

Ronan: No harm done, ah come on, could let him have his invite

Ali: it’s my parents not me!

Ali: also who do you propose looks after him all night, boy, ‘cos I know it wouldn’t be you

Ronan: Carls

Ronan: do you not trust her to?

Ali: I don’t think that’s how she wants to spend her evening

Ronan: She spent ages with him at your last party, what’s the difference

Ronan: and won’t your brother who likes doing women’s work be there?

Ali: that’s a new one, he’ll like it, so retro

Ali: and he’ll be keeping his keen friend away from Bart, like

Ronan: There’s why you’re the smart one, you’ve only gone and solved what his pissy mood must be about

Ronan: I’d forgot her

Ali: Mhmm, he’s wishing she’d forget him sharpish 

Ronan: Ha

Ali: You could do the right thing and distract her yourself

Ronan: Distract her how, she’s keen on him not us

Ali: You don’t think you could change her mind, come on

Ronan: Nah, I don’t

Ali: you could

Ali: but I’m also just messing around, obvs

Ronan: You reckon?

Ali: Totally

Ronan: If I weren’t messing myself, like

Ali: there’s so much else for us to be getting on with 🎇💥🎆

Ronan: True enough

Ali: can’t let me down now

Ronan: Never

Ali: You’re the best

Ronan: Give over

Ali: sorry sorry, lack of socialisation getting me cheesy

Ronan: Your boyfriend coming this time?

Ali: Do you think I’m making him up?

Ronan: I’m asking when’s he gonna prove he exists if you’re not

Ali: coming for me hardcore tonight, I see how it is

Ronan: Or him, why don’t he wanna be at your party, all your parties

Ali: shy is going to sound like a copout at this point

Ronan: It does

Ronan: girl who’s mates with your brother is shy, she still parties when you throw ‘em

Ali: He just prefers alone time, idk, it doesn’t bother me that he doesn’t want to be at my parties

Ronan: Aren’t you bothered about him meeting your friends?

Ali: would you be?

Ronan: I’ve no girlfriend

Ali: if you did, would you want her to meet all that lot

Ronan: Isn’t how we do things

Ali: yeah, there you go

Ronan: There I go, but it’s different for you

Ali: girls usually only intro their boyfriends if they want to show off, in my experience

Ronan: He’s not worth showing off, is it?

Ronan: say no more

Ali: Ha ha, dickhead

Ali: some things make for good secrets, that’s it

Ronan: If you’d rather keep secrets

Ali: if you’d been given the choice, wouldn’t you have rather no one knew about you and Carly?

Ronan: Me and Carly was shaming

Ali: would it have been if not for everything Moses did

Ronan: Would’ve been a mistake still

Ronan: is your boyfriend that?

Ali: no, I like him

Ronan: What’s the sense keeping secret and away someone you like?

Ronan: I don’t get it

Ali: He’s older, alright

Ali: old enough he’d get in trouble

Ronan: Old enough he’s the need to be strung up himself, like?

Ali: nah, still a teenager

Ali: but you know how my kind can be if the mood takes

Ronan: Where’d yous meet, school? Be why you’ve been going in regular

Ali: that was all down to my ma, trust me

Ronan: If you say so, I do

Ali: he doesn’t go to my school, I don’t get to see him much

Ronan: Don’t he drive?

Ali: he does

Ali: but when I’ve school I HAVE to go to and we’ve both jobs, barely any time really, what I meant

Ronan: Your ma’ll ease up now you’ve behaved, she’s not banned the party

Ali: she would if she knew of him

Ronan: None of us’ll tell her, even Barty boy at his sulkiest and he won’t be when I’ve finished

Ali: I appreciate it, you know that, yeah

Ronan: Carls might want watching when she’s a state but it’s nothing you don’t know yourself

Ali: She’s cool

Ronan: No troubles is what I like to hear

Ali: You and me both, boy

Ronan: I’d hate for you to be off the minute you’re back

Ali: No way

Ali: unless I get a better offer, of course

Ronan: I was the best earlier

Ali: and I had all the faith in you that you didn’t yourself

Ronan: Keep it, unless your secrets are weighing you down

Ali: You’re acting like it’s weird but think about it, you never told anyone what happened between us

Ronan: To do you a favour, he’s the man you’re not to protect him it’s the other way ‘round

Ali: it does me a favour too

Ronan: With your mammy but as I’ve said none of us are snitches

Ali: so what favour were you doing me?

Ronan: Of Moses not treating you the way he does Carly

Ali: I can handle Moses

Ronan: You’ve no need to with how I handled it

Ali: Sure but you get my point

Ronan: Yeah

Ali: you don’t want him to come to the party?

Ronan: When did I say he’s not to come?

Ali: I’m asking

Ronan: I’m cool with him, I dunno why you’d ask

Ali: Okay

Ronan: Right then, I’ve a cousin to find and fireworks to source

Ali: In a bit then

Ali: [Private to Carly]

Ali: Well

Ali: that was tense

Carly: - craic all round ☔️🥀

Carly: cept your boy making himself known to tell mosey to shh 😅

Ali: wasn’t expecting a banner or anything but damn

Ali: he’s probably pissed off with me now too

Carly: why youre talking to me instead of him 👀 none taken baby

Carly: & you can always have your banner off us 🥳🥁🏆🎊✨🎉🎈🎁

Ali: I wanted to check on you, actually, shh

Carly: im grand

Ali: that was a dick move from him

Carly: used to moves like that & its nothing a party won’t fix

Ali: he seems really bothered, too bothered to just be business as usual

Carly: I got too in his & hes 😤😠😡🤬 @ me

Ali: in his head

Carly: idk

Carly: werent far enough to find sense still 😵‍💫🙃🤯

Ali: boys are so confusing 

Carly: ive never had the knowing of a boy so 🥵🧲😈🔥🧨💥 to 🥶🧊🍦❄️⛄️

Ali: conflicted comes with the territory, sadly

Ali: does he want what his body is saying he wants or what his head is telling him he should

Carly: w them 2 the other 2 acted on what they wanted

Carly: no chance of whiplash like only different injuries

Ali: do you reckon you’d rather

Ali: or it’s a ❌ for all of them for now

Carly: spite of what hes putting about in the groupchat I’d never go back esp not crawling to moses, my god

Carly: ive sense I was born w if no more

Ali: you know I’m not judging

Ali: I remember all too well what 🥶🧊🍦❄️⛄️ was like to act otherwise

Carly: moses true colours arent ❤️🍄🧡🐅💛🌞💚🍀💙🧿💜🔮

Carly: his 🥵🧲😈🔥🧨💥 scares me, what he’s said & i know he’d do

Ali: I won’t let him

Ali: and he doesn’t need to come

Carly: im in no danger @ this distance & thats to include if he comes

Carly: idm

Ali: only if Johnny comes which he never will

Carly: theyve 💪🥊🤕 from 👶👶 nothing’ll get em to quit never

Ali: too much difference between them

Ali: it happens

Carly: look @ my ma & me 🍏 & 🍊 to be sure

Carly: we’ve only no bad 🩸🩸 cos I let none spill

Ali: I know, problem is Moses is made to be his when there’s nothing to be done

Carly: maybe he’ll outgrow it some as an elder, hes time to

Ali: never say never

Carly: I did ⬆️ but I take it back 💙🧿💙

Carly: & 🙏💙🔮💜🤞🌠 on everything they’ll find their peace of sorts 1 day

Ali: you don’t owe nice

Carly: u sound like bb when hed have me leave my ma for 💀👻

Ali: that’s your mother, like

Ali: nothing is that simple

Carly: he dont know complicated, his cooks & cleans for him when hes home from a long day working w his daddy 🍀🐇🌠🎲

Ali: their parents seem really sound, from what I’ve been told and seen around

Carly: I love his mammy shes really nice to me 🦘👑💎🌞🐻😇🐘

Carly: not that she would b if she’d found me in his van but hey for now shes 

Ali: I wish I could know her

Ali: have you been back to his since?

Carly: how we left things hes probably moved his spare 🔑 since

Carly: wouldnt blame him but Ive not got it in me to check

Ali: I wouldn’t be able to either

Carly: i’ve already been knocked 🤢🤮 giving up everything for him to still call me mental the same as if I never

Ali: what about your proper meds?

Carly: ive my knowing of the date cos u said it idk

Ali: no wonder you feel 🤢🤮 babe, you have to taper that shit if you wanna go off it or your body is gonna go crazy

Carly: oh

Carly: so maybe hes right & I am ❤️🐇🐛☕️🌹

Carly: ah no the 🎢 is me

Ali: well, he could’ve definitely still been a prick, no need to rule it out but yeah

Ali: we’re to get an appointment and the doc will tell you how to get off ‘em and not feel insane/terrible

Carly: am I to get off em?

Carly: should I?

Ali: do you want to or did Bartley tell you to?

Carly: idk if he’s knowing about 💊👨‍⚕️ i dont remember ever telling him it werent all from cavante

Ali: he could’ve misunderstood, saying to stop them is more reasonable if simplistic 

Ali: I’m not going to go and smack him one anyway

Carly: is erin coming tonight cos he’ll be 👀 for me to smack her

Carly: I’ve memory of saying so

Ali: I’ll get Tommy to put her off

Ali: no 👊 needed

Carly: I cant 👊 you’d have to do it 🦋🐝

Ali: I’d begrudge it when Moses and now Bart have been nos, like

Carly: if I talk to him either @ the party or before & hes in a worse mood for it please please don’t be 😤😠😡🤬 @ me too

Ali: of course not

Ali: the bad vibes are nothing if not appropriate, I guess

Carly: theyre my fault & its your 1st party since ur ma got 😤😠😡🤬

Carly: i feel so bad

Ali: you feel bad because you’re poorly

Ali: we can just cancel the party

Carly: no feckin way r we 🎅🎁👹🔔⛓🌜😈🐐

Carly: i’ll drag myself to yours if ive to & bring the deadliest party on my own

Ali: well, we can’t have you getting gravel burn

Carly: wouldnt be the 1st time but the most worth it of many a

Ali: okay, okay, no party💩ing, promise

Carly: yay

Ali: though I am going to have to brave talking to Johnny now, as you’ve brought up gravel burn, so, give me all the luck I need

Carly: you dont need none he loves u

Ali: maybe he’ll talk to his brother

Ali: though I don’t think Bart would tell him the truth? Idk, still might make him feel a bit better

Carly: I’d bet hes as wes talking

Ali: yeah, he will be

Ali: I’ll not bother him for a bit, be good

Carly: might be they’re 🍻🎱🎯 down the local

Carly: name a lad who wouldn’t be 😁 by it ☔️☀️🌈

Ali: a shout

Ali: I’d be 

Carly: me too but only if theyve 🎵🎶 & not just 👴🍺🚬 ive often that craic waiting @ home

Ali: no music no party

Carly: your 🎤🍯💛‘d get it going anywhere

Carly: sing tonight & everything’ll turn round

Ali: I’ll sing for you, how about that

Carly: do you mean to?

Ali: Yep

Ali: whatever you like

Carly: I’ll sing for you too then though I’ve nowhere the power you’ve

Carly: weve to stick together & combine our 🌑🌌🔮🌠🎱🎇💣🌌🌑 all we can when it’s shite & wrong, how u said

Ali: 🐇🐣🦋🌼 soft power all of your own

Ali: 🔁 always

Carly: ive felt im a trapped 🦋🐞🐜🐛 climbing walls

Carly: after ripping my wings or legs off like

Ali: we’ll get it in the morning, okay, first thing

Carly: dr’ll be 😤😠😡🤬 @ me

Ali: they just don’t know how to talk to people nice, not like nurses, I’ll be there and do the talking, so they know how upset you are and struggling

Carly: he cant be told that, he’ll away me to somewhere like your brother is

Ali: no he won’t, not for that

Ali: you can tell me what you want me to say but trust me, they don’t have the space to be putting everyone with struggles in there

Carly: [her mum’s name] says I’m to keep my gob shut or lie if its to be open & all I do’s make her look bad telling I’ve struggles at all

Ali: It isn’t about her, it’s your brain and your feelings

Carly: yea but she’ll be v 😤😠😡🤬 if we go

Ali: we’ll say we’ve gone for me then

Carly: k that’ll work

Ali: it’s all in hand

Ali: and you’ll feel all the better for it

Carly: I wont have to speak to him you’ll do it?

Ali: Yep

Carly: k 💛

Carly: drag myself there next 🍓🩸

Ali: 🚲 us there

Carly: ilysm id carry u

Ali: I love you too

Carly: I wish you could talk to that boy how u are the dr

Carly: youd find words to put to whats wrong w us & they’d be right 1s not like what comes out of me all wrong

Ali: If I thought he’d appreciate that and not be full 😤😠😡🤬 at the lack of privacy

Carly: I just want him to understand

Carly: when he asked me what I shouldve said so

Ali: you weren’t in a good headspace, the fact you got any words out to make sense is impressive enough given

Carly: he were impressed by my 🧽✨🧼🧺🧹🥄🍴🍳 anyway 

Carly: least that sort of mental has its use

Ali: Of course he was

Ali: they’d have gorja girls so incapable we don’t know how to work a microwave, bless ‘em

Carly: my ma’s example doing nothing ever to change their way of thinking

Ali: but she’s really got the aesthetic, eh

Carly: ah that what we’re calling it now?

Carly: of all the cultures to take from what matters the least she didn’t bother herself to venture far from the front door

Ali: suppose I’m not to talk when I’m trying to think of a Krampus costume but yeah

Carly: but no youve an important point

Carly: what are we to wear? he told me I looked nice when I dressed for him

Ali: you could go full 🤶?

Carly: feels too erin idk

Ali: right, we need to workshop that

Carly: im still me w out 🍭🍬🚬🌿🌼🍄

Carly: or I hope ive some personality underneath

Ali: of course you are, you’re always the youiest you

Carly: heads together 🧠💫🧠

Carly: we’ve need to be of a mind to shut em up calling u 🥱😴💀👻 for being taken by ur man johno while we’re about it 

Ali: do you think I am

Carly: don’t u be daft!

Carly: theyre gobshites

Carly: ro for his jealousy, moses to stir & bb cos of my carry on

Ali: I know I’m different but I don’t know how to act as if I’m not

Carly: you’ve no cause to act no way for them lot

Carly: youre magic as is & theres nothing in all whats unreal to b changed

Ali: 💜💜💜

Carly: 💛👼💡👩🏼‍🎤🌟🐱🧚‍♀️🏆✨🐝🧙🏼‍♀️🌞🦁🌻👑🌝🧜🏼‍♀️🍯🎇👩🏼‍🚀

Ali: You’re my best friend

Carly: i’d never had 1 before & now I dont want another ever ever again but u

Ali: you better not replace me

Carly: w who? erin? or your neighbour girl?

Ali: yeah, exactly

Ali: you’re too smart to waste your time

Carly: youre the only 1 to say im smart & not mean it as slagging

Ali: people are dumb if they don’t see it in you

Carly: or blind by ur 💡🌝💫🌞🌠🎇🌟🌜✨🌌⚡️☄️

Ali: i’ll go 🖤 with my outfit, you shine solo

Carly: I’m not after no solo spotlight, duet or never

Ali: 💞 it is

Ali: but there’s a lot I need to cover for real

Carly: & lots im to get out since im no longer ❤️💜💙

Ali: fur bikini for sure

Carly: sure id win @ 🥶🧊🍦❄️⛄️

Ali: they’d all be 🥵🧲😈🔥🧨💥 but right so they’ve not earnt it

Carly: if his attention could be earned id try it

Ali: he’s paying attention, fuming or otherwise

Carly: how many drinks in him before I give mine?

Carly: 🍺🍺🍺? 🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺?

Ali: 🍺🍺🍺

Ali: too much could go badly as easily as it could go well

Carly: & we’ve no knowing if theyve started yet

Ali: I’ll ask Johnny for you

Carly: as you’ve to talk yourselves, yea

Ali: 🤞🤞🤞

Carly: 🌑🌌🙏💙🔮💜🤞🌠🍀🐇🎱🎲🎇💣🌌🌑

[cantdanceflynn]

OK SO BACKSTORY/INFODUMP/PROPAGANDA FOR ROBOT CANDACE :DDDDDDD

SHE WAS CREATED BY CARL, ALONG WITH ROBOT VERSIONS OF THE OTHER FLYNN-FLETCHERS TO SPY WITH/CONVINCE THEM PERRY IS OK WHEN HE HAS LONG MISSIONS/REPLACE MEMBERS OF THE FLYNN-FLETCHERS IN CASE THEY HAD ISSUES WITH ACCIDENTALLY ERASING TOO MANY MEMORIES OF THE FLYNN-FLETCHERS

WHILE WE ONLY RLY SEE THE LAWRENCE FLETCHER ROBOT, WE KNOW HE, AND THEORETICALLY AS MOST OF THE OTHER ROBOTS HAVE SIMILAR FUNCTIONS, ROBOT CANDACE CAN AS WELL, SPEAK PROPERLY ALBEIT LIMITEDLY, SHIFT THEIR BODY IN MULTIPLE WAYS(THE LAWRENCE ROBOT CAN SPECIFICALLY USE DRILLS BUILT INTO HIS SHOES, EXTEND HIS ARMS, AND USE HIS MOUTH AS A VACUUM, BUT ALMOST ALL THE OTHER ROBOTS CAN FULL ON SHIFT THEIR BODY, INCLUDING THE CLASSIC ARM CANNONS AND LONGER LIMBS, SO IVE DECIDED BEING VAGUE BOUT IT WORKS BETTER. THEY CAN DO WHATEVER THEY WANT FOREVER), AND USE MAGNETS TO RETRIEVE THEIR LIMBS. OTHER ROBOTS CAN ALSO SHOOT LASERS, MISSILES, BREATH FIRE, AND THEY ALL ARE SUPER STRONG BUT I MEAN THEYRE ROBOTS.

THATS LITERALLY ALL WE SEE OF THEM UNTIL THE SEASON 3 ENDING SPECIAL, WHERE'S PERRY. LONG STORY SHORT, CARL ENDS UP TURNING EVIL(NOT HIS FAULT BUT ALSO HE DESERVED TO BE EVIL NGL), AND HE USES THEM TO HUNT DOWN THE REAL PERRY.

WHILE ALL OF THE ROBOTS ARE TECHNICALLY UNDER HIS CONTROL, THEY SHOW TRAITS OF THE PERSON THEY'RE BASED OFF OF FAIRLY OFTEN, IE ROBOT LAWRENCE GETTING ATTACHED TO A PINEAPPLE RIGHT AWAY. SO THE FACT THAT CANDACE ROBOT ENDS UP BECOMING LIKE. FULL ON SENTIENT LATER ISNT RLY SURPRISING LOL

NOW, IM GONNA PREFACE THIS BY SAYING THAT IM AWARE THE META REASON IS BASICALLY COMPLETELY ROMANCE BASED BUT ALSO THAT WORKS FOR CANDACES CHARACTER AND THERES A LOT MORE NON-ROMANTIC CONNECTION BASED U CAN TAKE FROM THIS INUNIVERSE SO I AM GOING TO DO THAT

BASICALLY, SHE ENTERS THE HUMAN CANDACES ROOM AND HEARS A VOICEMAIL FROM JEREMY, AND WHILE SHE DOESN'T ACTIVELY ACT ANY DIFFERENT, HER FOCUS IS NOW ON RELAYING THAT MESSAGE TO THE HUMAN CANDACE

IN THEIR CHASE FOR PERRY, ROBOT CANDACE ENDS UP INTERACTING WITH THE HUMAN CANDACE, ALBEIT W HER PRETENDING TO BE A MONKEY KINDA JUST BC SHES DRAMATIC WHICH IS KINDA A MOOD. SHE TRIES TO RELAY THE MESSAGE, BUT FAILS BC HUMAN CANDACE IS BEING DRAMATIC AND RUNS AWAY

EVENTUALLY ROBOT CANDACE FINDS HUMAN CANDACE AGAIN, FIGHTING THE REST OF HER ROBOT FAMILY(AND THEN SOME BC CARL MADE ROBOTS FOR MONOGRAM DOOF VANESSA NORM(MAY JUST BE THE NORMAL NORM BEING CONTROLED IS UNCLEAR) IRVING CLYDE BUFORD BALJEET AND ISABELLA) BC THEYRE BEING A THREAT, AND GETS KILLED SAVING HUMAN CANDACE FROM ROBOT PHINEAS(KILLING HIM IN THE PROCESS WHICH LIKE YES I AM INSANE OVER SHE LITERALLY HAD TO KILL HER OWN BROTHER WTF) AND DOES END UP DELIVERING THE MESSAGE

SHE DOES DIE WITH THE IMPLICATION THAT SHE DIDN'T CONSIDER HER LIFE WORTH ANYTHING COMPARED TO HUMAN CANDACE BC SHE DIDNT HAVE A JEREMY ROBOT BUT ALSO WITH LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE AND HOW PNF TENDS TO DO THINGS LIKE THIS LIKE I CANT EXPLAIN IT BUT THEY TEND TO SIMPLIFY OVERALL CONNECTION STUFF INTO JUST ROMANTIC ONES, ESPECIALLY W CANDACE(WHICH I MEAN. THIS IS A ROBOT VERSION OF CANDACE.) SO LIKE. ILL CIRCLE BACK TO THIS

ITS ALSO WORTH NOTING THAT THAT THING W THE VOICEMAIL? ITS THE ONLY VOCAL INTERACTION ANY OF THEM ACTUALLY HAVE WITH SOMEONE THEY CARE ABOUT EARLY ON, AND DEPENDING ON HOW YOU SEE THINGS, AT ALL?? LIKE LINDA ROBOT SEES HER DAD SNORING, SOME OF THE LATER ROBOTS ARE BONDED TO DOOF BUT MONOGRAMS THE ONE FIGHTING, SO LIKE. THEY ALL JUST STRAIGHT UP NEVER VOCALLY INTERACT OR ARE CONFIRMED HEAR THE VOICE OF ANYONE THEY CARE ABOUT? LIKE IM FULLY AWARE THE IMPLICATION IS PROBABLY SUPPOSED TO BE AS SIMPLE AS "SHE WAS REMINDED OF HER BOYFRIEND, AND THE POWER OF LOVE SNAPPED HER OUT OF BEING EVIL, BUT LIVING WOUT HIM WAS TOO MUCH TO BEAR" OR WTVR, BUT ALSO LIKE. PNF IS USUALLY SIGNIFICANTLY BETTER W STUFF LIKE THIS, AND WITH OTHER INSTANCES OF PEOPLE TURNING EVIL(IE: LAWRENCE IN BULLSEYE), USUALLY JUST VOCAL OR PHYSICAL CONFIRMATION OF THE PEOPLE THEY CARE ABOUT CAN JUST SNAP THEM OUT OF IT, SO I DONT THINK ITS NECESSARILY JUST THAT

ILL BE HONEST IVE HAD TO SIMPLIFY A GOOD PORTION OF THIS BC IM NOT A FAST TYPER AT ALL SO IM RLY RLY NOT GOOD AT THIS BUT LIKE. TRUST ME WHEN I SAY(ESPECIALLY IF YOU'VE SPENT AS LONG ANALYZING THIS SHOW AS I HAVE) THAT ROBOT CANDACES DEATH IS, IN SIMPLIFIED TERMS,

"SHE WAS THE ONLY NON-EVIL, FULLY SENTIENT MEMBER OF HER WHOLE FAMILY, (AND CONSIDERING CARL WAS LIKE THAT FUCKIN CLOSE TO PERRY PROBABLY DIDNT SEE ANY FUTURE WHERE THATD CHANGE), DIDN'T HAVE BASICALLY ANY OF HER OTHER CONNECTIONS EITHER AS THERE WASN'T A ROBOT STACY, JEREMY, JENNY, AND SO ON, AND IF THERE WAS THEY'D BE EVIL AND NOT UNDER THEIR OWN CONTROL TOO, AND THE COMBINATION OF NOT BEING ALLOWED THOSE GENUINE EMOTIONS AND CONNECTIONS(LIKELY EXASPERATED BY HER SEEING HUMAN CANDACE THROW AWAY EVERYTHING LIKE GIRL WTF WERE U DOIN) DROVE HER TO BASICALLY COMMIT SUICIDE (THERE WERE 100% OTHER WAYS SHE COULD HAVE STOPPED THAT IN TIME THAT ALSO PROBABLY WOULDVE BEEN EASIER TO GET PAST EXECS THEN HER DYING TO HER BROTHER), AND ONCE AGAIN, KILLING HER FUCKING BROTHER AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!"

AND ID SAY IM READING TOO MUCH INTO THIS BUT ITS PNF DYA KNOW THE LAYERS TO BASICALLY EVERYTHING THEYVE DID?

ALSO I WAS GONNA GET IMAGES TO MATCH EVERYTHING BUT IVE SPENT LONG ENOUGH ON EM AND THE WHERES PERRY GALLERY PART OF THE PNF WIKI SUCKS ASS SO BAD LIKE EVERY OTHER GALLERY PAGE ON THE WIKI SO JUST TAKE IMAGES OF THE ROBOTS THEMSELVES BC I THINK THEYRE VERY NEAT

[letsfluxshitup]

As a Big Q n Techno friendship fan I am feeling utterly invigorated omg

It rly does speak for ur talent w/ dynamics that Quackity n Techno ACTUALLY end up interacting, even if it is under. Less than ideal circumstances. This has does nothing 2 make me have less brainrot though :,] I want you to know that smtms I just go onto your blog 2 stare at hc posts for them that I’ve read like 20 times dmndndn it’s great ur great

The question is tho: How are YOU feeling abt it, MrZ Flux?

- Saturn 🪐

krdjsfldkslfdsjl ilysm;;; i also go back and read stuff youve sent me bc i love it a Whole Lot!! also i am incredibly bad at interacting with ppl in a like, social setting. but analyzing dynamics? thats my Shit,,, i still think its invredibly funny that a while ago i was like “if ethos gonna interact with any one in dream smp itll be playing among us” and then he did an among us in minecraft stream with fundy and some others aksjdfkldsjlksdfjdlksjf

i am. absolutely delighted kasljdfjslsdjfs;;;; i have. Ideas. For a drawing.

god im just! thinking abt how earlier i was talking abt how techno has more physical prowess but quackitys more talk based;;; and how quackity knew he couldnt beat techno in a fight (”do you guys have beds to set our spawn?”) and how he almost instantly went towards smth he knew techno cared about (”quackity if i come back and carl isnt in the exact square i left him-”).

techno trying to explain hes a changed man but quackity insisting he has to pay for what he’s done, and quackity is insistent (”you blew up our country”), and techno can only use his words for so long (”please dont make me kill all of you, please just leave”), this is a losing battle with them and techno hates losing

quackity threatens carl, he disarms techno, demanding he drop his armor and weapons but he still keeps his distance, and still tries to keep the upper ground conversation wise, (”tubbo stop apologizing to him-”) and idk!

i really adore how when push comes to shove quackity stops using his words (”this is not trial technoblade” “its an execution!”) and then he fails

and he follows techno into the tunnel, fights him, and he fails

i also really adore quackity realizing dream helped techno survive and escape and decided that going after dream would somehow be easier? that it cant be a simple murder it has to be dramatic and meaningful? and then he can go after his ultimate goal, killing technoblade.

hmmmmmmmm;;;; idk how this would intersect with other storylines but smth i think that could be interesting and a sort of history repeats itself moment is quackity & co teaming up with techno&co to take down dream, bc like, common enemy? and then when dreams Taken Care Of quackity can go for techno, using him again, and im ALSO thinking about techno alluding to icarus when talking about quackity and im just MANY THOUGHTS HEAD FULL

i didnt watch the entirety of quacks stream, i jumped to tommys when tommy started streaming bc i needed to know about raccooninnit but i think he stopped shortly after tommy started bc he raided him??? idk laskfjdflksdjflksj lmk if theres anything important in that last like 10min or whatever it was i wasnt really paying attention lakfjlkdsjlskdjflsdkfj

anyways time to rewatch that tunnel bit from technos perspective lkajsdflksjflkasjf

[foryouthegays]

techno liveblog w timestamps lets go for ‘a new home (dream SMP)’ stream

good laugh times: 00:13:50, 00:14:55, 1:38:45, ik it doesnt look like a lot but like u should watch the stream anyway bc philzas there and his laugh is amazing and they just go so well together

times techno calls phil his friend: 00:6:00 00:37:00, 00:45:17, 0:1:09:30, 01:11:15, 01:26:35, 01:50:05, 2:35:00

FSDJKFAF;LS HE KEPT THE MUTED INTRO IN JHKADFLS (ends at 00:1:25)

i like how, when faced with Leaving Youtube, techno would choose to be an author. i want a book by techno. reblog this if u want a book by techno (with an audiobook by him as well) /hj. 00:1:33

i love how he says ehhhhhh so much lskjhdfas (abt 2 mins in) 

who the FUCK just remembers that the word fortuitous exists wtf 00:5:17

00:7:45 PHILZA TIME PHILZA TIME LETS GO

00:8:55 tommy time :/

0:14:10 rANBOO JUST WALKS IN, LOOKS AROUN ,AND LEA VE SIM CRYING 

i love how much philza laughs at technos jokes bc pretty much everything he says IS a joke he just says it in such a serious voice that p much everyone else is like,,,yeah,,,,yup,,,,and phil just knows when hes joking and his laugh is so good with technos voice. sbi? whos that? i only know philza and technoblade

00:19:30 ghostbur joins! this is my first time hearin ghostbur btw

00:19:40 haha string axe technos so bad at crafting what a fool /j

00:21:07 ghostbur: “Even I remember how to make a fishing rod!” ghostbur u just MURDERED technoblade oh my god im gonna scream hgjdfksla i love ghostbur so much

00:23:55: GHOSTBUR NO!! DON’T DIE YOU’LL BECOME A DOUBLE GHOST!!!! -technoblade 2020

00:24:55 technoblade neva lies -guys he almost did the technoblade neva dies ahh!!!!!

i havent heard anyone talk about this but techno has a dedicated roleplay voice. like listen to him talk to tommy at 00:25:08. his voice gets more even, he uses names a lot more often (seriously, listen to his theseus speech. he says tommy so often, its incredible.), and his voice gets,,,,deeper? not deeper but smoother, in a way, and he repeats what he says for emphasis instead of humor. and his voice is louder, and he seems more assertive. 

00:27:30 philza: where we goin, by the way? techno: to our- to my new home. 

techno cmon let phil live w u wed get so much more content cmonn

00:28:50 the fact that he calls the manhunt theme “dream music” makes me laugh so hard. and then his version of it,,,,,m love he (also he sings it here and at  01:14:20)

00:35:10 why is ranboo so cryptic im-

why does he just casually know the word sentry wh at i hate him 00:39:45

this is the worst sentence (structurally) ive ever heard techno say im gonna cry 00:49:33 ‘im too busy thinkin of new ideas to sleep so i could actually execute them’ and tubbos *oh?* after is just hdsfgkjlka

LKSJDHFJK 00:51:49

00:54:30

techno: thats one of dreams powers, he can just stop the rain

tubbo, quietly: like jesus!

i love them sm dsfhkjla they kept going but i jus gdfhjksa jesus has op

techno @ being the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans: haha funnie!!

techno @ having fun w religious stuff: i wILL BE CANCELLED NO-

00:58:10 “hey if ur [ghostbur]  a ghost, do instant damage potions heal you now?” “...no,, they hurt me still :(” DSIULZKJHFSLKFJH 

01:04:00 his brother named the cow bob im- aww 

also he has a fanart wall again!!!

01:09:30 “phil, you’re the only friend i have left in this world.” aWWWWW HE GAVE HIM THE COMPASS 

“dont smoke, it’s a joke” -technoblade 01:14:15

ROLEPLAY SPEECH VOICE IS BACK AT 1:16:10 “they pillage my base for everything i’m worth, they use me for the revolution, but oooOOOoo i took a pickaxe with his consent? oOOOooOo i’m a thief!”

holy shit 01:17:15 “you know what, phil? for you, the world, alright? it’s fine.” oH MY GOD HHHHGHG (context, right before they were arguing bc phil took some blocks from his base and techno thought that when he said phil could take anything he meant from the chests)

the COMIDY of that villager coming in and sleeping while techno was readin donos at 01:22:05 RIGHT AFTER phil freaked out abt inturruptin his dono readin im SFDHKJLA:

techno talkin bout the winstreak and how he wont be able to live up to that sort of playin at 01:22:30ish is super important and ill transcribe it tomorrow, but if u can id highly rec watchin it. 

01:24:20 “[readin dono] what’s your favorite movie? uh, the princess bride is pretty good” techno ily that movie rocks also he said it so fast like hes ashamed of it noo

techno says no to canon ranboo son btw! 01:25:30

01:25:55 “i wasnt in that story, therefore it doesnt matter” all of technoblr be like 

01:37:49 is great lemmie transcribe

“how have you still not gotten a second monitor?? holy shit.”

“let me tell you something. and im only telling you this because i know that so many people in the chat are gonna be furious. so i recently realized- i think the second monitor can just be any ol’ monitor, right? you literally just plug it in, and its set up? well i mean you have to turn on some settings, but like, thats it, or something?”

“yeah,,,,, uh techno you fuckin destroyed my chat, by the way, oh my god, [earlier techno told his viewers to twitch prime philza] there has been like 40 primes just flying through”

“yeahhh twitch prime!!! twitch prime philza yeahh!!! so anyways the other day, i like, i looked to my left, and realized that my old monitor has been like, five feet away from where i sit and stream for the last three years?”

“oh my god...”

“so i- i literally do not have to leave my room to set up a second monitor and i havent. and i’m still usin my laptop for this stream.

“is this gonna be one of those situations where you like, you have a thing, you just refuse to do the thing?”

“listen, my desk is-

“yOU STILL HAVENT OPENED UP THE HYPIXEL PACKAGE!!!”

“AHHHH I HAVENT OPENED UP THE HYPIXEL PACKAGE! I HAVENT EVEN OPENED UP MY MCC COIN! DUDE I HAVENT EVEN OPENED UP MY ONE MILLION SUBSCRIBER PLAQUE! ITS STILL THERE RIGHT BEHIND ME! ITs sTILL IN THE BOX! i never made a video on it....”

“bruhhhhh [philza laughs] thats FREE VIEWS what are you doing??”

“ill open it at 8 mil :/.”

“you could LITERALLY make a video of you just like, throwing it off a wall, and then thumbing up, like doing a thumbs up, and then that would be it. 10 seconds. ten seconds. thumb and elbow in shot. [laughs]”

techno is such a disaster i love him

01:34:18 the way techno says “tommy, that statement has NEVER been true” i dont like sayin i simp for block men but GOD sometimes his voice is nicer than usual hhhgn

“man i sure wish tommyinnit was in this stream” -nobody ever (just after previous timestamp)

01:40:15 is fuckin hilarious and im actually crying oh my god techno just says things and says them well with a completely straight face how does he do it

i cannot WAIT until theres a president w the last/first name andy so we can say president andy and think abt technoblade

IM CRIASDNGUSFHD 01:44:38 PHILZA LOOK OUT LOOK OUT PHILZA  LSKJDAFJASD;LKF

i love when techno talks abt his vids. like u can tell he puts a lot of thought into the vids (esp these ones) and like at 01:47:00 he talks abt the “I DIDNT PUT DEAPTH STRIDER ON THOSE BOOTS, FUNDY!” and how its just that creepin realization that you were doomed from the start and how he made the armor, he isnt intimidated by the netherite bc he didnt enchant it all the way and only he knows that,,, and i just,,,hgg he

he reveals that hes writin the next arc at 01:48:00: “oh, speakin of arcs, chat, i’m writing the next arc. so, you know. hope nothin bad happens in two weeks, chat!” IM SO EXCITED like he clearly has his character fleshed out and is SO good at writing and retellin history im so so excited to see where he takes it AHHHH and also taht means he might stream more bc he might make his character more important (keep in mind this is the guy who wrote self insert hypixel fanfics. he has no shame in puttin himself first and i respect him so much for it) 

01:51:20 “they’re tryin to get a second customer but they’re riskin their first” is lowkey a good line

has anyone else noticed that techno says wise a lot? like at 01:55:10 he literally says “wise dragon armor” as a joke but like i think he says wise so much BECAUSE of skyblock like hjkfdsla

01:57:30 techno plea se eat 

ok 1:58:45 is hilarious and all but at the end of his ramble he says “come back, i miss you” and lowkey im crying 

techno needs to stop knowing his audience more than we know ourselves im hsfkjda 02:05:25 “the chat’s spammin ‘eat technoblade, eat!’ like they’re not gonna start, like, theyre not gonna get super sad if i ended the stream right now, like theyre not gonna all cry ‘i miss technoblade *sniffs* why- whyd he leave to eat food, why did he listen to our advice noooo’”

02:14:50 NEW VIDEO POGGGG CARL THE HORSE POGGGGGG  NOT A STREAM HIGHLIGHT POGGGGG

02:17:40 “i could start a potato farm out here to show how much ive changed” techno last time u made a potato farm u started an entire war that lasted a year that does NOT say calm and retired to me lskgdfjagsldj

02:23:00 why does techno just reference greek mythology so much. makin me scared for his arc. 

also he talks abt smp earth a lot in this stream i love it so much

i also just. love?? how much sbi respect tommy like they bully him but when talkin bout him they just have so much respect for how much work he puts into youtube and i just,,,,hgnn they r friends 

02:33:13 sbi streamer house lets go cmon

02:34:15 “i think if i streamed every day i could keep up” on one hand YE S  but on the ohter oh god techno no we have to keep up tho

hearing techno say “violence isnt the answer” is so scary  02:35:40

02:37:30 technosneeze 

hiS BROTHER SENT HIM 46 DISCORD MESSAGES SFKDJLFLKASF 2:49:25 i love his end screen so much hes just sadness,,,,retirement,,,t,echnoblade,,,the government is going to fall on its own due to lack of organization and ideals,,,,,,subscribe,,,,,sadness,,,,,also 2:50:45 is making me laugh so hard its just sad music and technos like??? whys phil in my house drinking milk????? 

overall, fantastic stream, if ya want some chill techno philza content i highly recommend. 

[ecritverite]

@guttersniper said : 1. what inspires woods to go into teaching? 2. what would his favorite tv shows be? 3. does he have a hangover cure? 4. what event in his childhood does he think about the most?

this is going to be. so long. cookie to anyone who reads it all 😭 i can’t compress

1) what inspires woods to go into teaching?

i think multiple factors play into this so.. uh. Majorly opening the floodgates. namely, i think it has to do with him being distanced from his lesbian aunt at like age 10/11 which is kind of a crucial point in development, recognising that his general education (did not attend private school or university) was watered down as hell in both the UK and the US, and he didn’t learn any real life shit (or felt inspired to read again) till he was on the road with activist musicians. i think he sees education as less about positional success and more about knowledge as a gateway to compassion, understanding, & creativity. more extensive details on this below...

woods’ (lesbian) aunt aster, a studying plant ecologist & avid reader, would be very encouraging with books when he is young & he takes an interest in absorbing knowledge because of her unusual “outdoorsy” approach outside of regular schooling. sadly, as he gets to his teens woods is separated from aster by his father (sibling rivalry). with this distance from an encouraging voice, he feels more cynical about reading & gen. ed. and doesn’t have much faith in himself as a writer either; his father degrades his creative expression, believes it’s fanciful and pointless, claims “poets didn’t win the war for us”, etc. i think in later years after his father has passed, and after some self reflection and the reunion with his aunt, he would understand the importance of knowledge in youth and how... plants only grow if they are in the right soil & nurtured according to their specific needs. the song “im the sky” by norma tanega very much sums up this perspective he’d have in the 80s. 

when he is in high school, he’s well on his way to a successful footballing career at a university (father’s wishes as the family isn’t well off financially) and he’s resigned himself to thinking ‘this is my vocation’ because he’s been putting all his time & energy into it up to that point, has nothing else to fall back on. unfortunately, he pushes himself too hard and ends up with an injury. while out of commission, he is encouraged to coach the team. this alternate option gives him a different perspective and he actually is... listened to and looked up to for once. he realises he’s good at encouraging people, recognising when everyone needs a break, and assigning roles to people based on their strongest skills - the team benefits when everyone is doing what they are best at in their own way. this is his first taste of “guidance” and “leadership”. he coaches with empathy and clemency as someone who has been stretched thin, but he dislikes the competitive corporate nature of professional athletics and veers away from that career.

he meets trevett allen, the eventual crowe’s wings lead singer, in his last year of school. trevett is an extremely intelligent but misunderstood classmate who is constantly mistaken for woods’ brother. the two become ‘unlikely’ friends and actually find they have a lot in common. trevett introduces him to the beat generation in literature, but its not until woods is on the road with the band and meeting other creators that he begins reading & writing again in small inspired bursts. i think being in this crowd of musicians, most of which who have come from low-income backgrounds, would make him realise that there is a whole lot people aren’t being taught in school...

i think even before going into school for his degree, he would have a general interest in language and words and how they are used culturally to alienate or include or hierarchise people who have different modes of communication. as he gets more into the area of education, he likes to examine how vocabulary is taught/what books are assigned reading, and how everyone visualises definitions individually in the context of their own experience/story. 

i could go on. but i’m gonna finish this up by saying - HE would tell you that his reason for going into teaching was “to learn more.”

2) what would his favorite tv shows be?

  twilight zone / dark shadows / the man from U.N.C.L.E. / star trek /  doctor who / monty python’s flying circus / abbot & costello / carl sagan’s cosmos... the list goes on 😭 i don’t think he’d have much time in the 80s for television though.

3) does he have a hangover cure?

sit under hot running water, stay in bed, and don’t let anyone bother you for the day. honestly he’s one of those people where even an aspirin won’t do much to ease the unpleasantness so he just goes and disappears behind a closed door until dinner time when he emerges hungering.

4) what event in his childhood does he think about the most?

this is a hard one 😭 but this comes to mind a lot, and i think it would change through the years as he makes resolutions with certain inner turmoils? but i think he would run through past interactions with his father every now and then because he refers to his behaviour so much to see... what went wrong. also, before he meets his aunt again in the late 70s, he would run through the events of their separation lots; he has no hateful feelings towards aster bc lots of happy memories w her, it’s just like ‘what did i do to be distanced from her’ when really it was just his dad's manipulation and interception of their correspondence.

[vanchlo]

The Assistant / Chapter Forty-Three, “The One Where It Happens”

*Gifs not mine*

Clickable Links:

- *NEW* Becky Magazine Cover from an O.C. Tag Challenge

- Masterlist feat. all chapters and Character Surveys

- Inspo tag

- Hecky Playlist

- Read on Wattpad

Word Count: 12.3k words

Warnings: Sensitive topics

Music Inspo: Lay Down Beside You by Carl Storm (click to listen, this song is too perfect for this chapter)

                                         SNEAKYYYYY PEEK

I worry. I fear. I cry. I doubt. I struggle for breath. I grieve. I sob. I ache. Because I love. No, not loved. I love.

Love is what makes me want to go back to her, and cover her broken body with kisses. Love is what scares the living shit out of me, preventing me from doing that in this very second, because I’m afraid that I’ll break her all the more. Love is what sends the words tumbling off of my aching lips.

“‘m alright if yer alright, Becks . . . B-But ‘m not alright.”

Life has many ways of testing a person’s will - either by having nothing happen at all, or by having everything happen at once.

- Paulo Coelho 

+

Today had seemed like a dream, and I was unsure of when I’d get used to that, or when I’d get used to all of this. If I never did, I’d be okay with that, because she just keeps amazing me with every step I take. I never want this dream to end, if it is one after all.  

Speak of an angel, and there she is, I think. The thought races to the front of my mind, pushing all of the others aside. She’s always managed to be very good at doing that, I recall. 

“I’m gonna get going then,” she announces, clasping her milky 

white hands together in front of her after walking back into my office. 

A sad smile finds its way to my lips as I admire her, wishing I could spend the rest of my days memorizing every detail of her. The little tan birthmark beneath her eye that she doesn’t cover up anymore, much to my happy findings. The sparkle in her eyes, the left one scattered with more indigo flecks. The always waves in her dark chocolate hair. Her braided silver ring that I’ve never seen her without, always playing with it mindlessly. 

“Harry?” she hums. I blink, focusing my eyes back on her. 

Becks. My lovely Becks. Maybe even . . my girlfriend? Impossible although it had seemed, my lips reach higher elevations on my cheeks at the thought. I don’t let it run away from me, although I’m itching to let the question leave my lips. 

There’s always tomorrow for that, I decide silently as I adore the invisible inquisition toying with her eyebrows. 

“Alright?” Becks asks, taking another step forward until she arrives at my desk. 

“Ya, ‘m great,” I confess softly, pushing at the lip of my desk to get to my feet. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” she ponders nervously, a fire sparking in her cheeks as I near her figure dressed in a sleek black pantsuit. A cream chiffon blouse falls under the hollow of her neck modestly, adorned by the opal necklace I haven’t seen her take off since our first date. Yet another confirmation that that night was real, and so is all of this. My bloody God, I wonder when I’ll ever be able to believe it. 

“I dunno,” I giggle, my hands finding their way into the conversation with a shrug of their own. “Jus’ so happy lookin’ at you . . You make me happy, Becks . . Very.”

The dimple finds its place in her left cheek again, and I know then that I’m fucked all the more. A similar sound flows from her lips, and I wish it didn’t have to come to an end as my palm slips into hers. 

“You make me happy too, Harry, so happy,” she titters, peeking up at me with those goddamn blue eyes. The very blues that could send me whizzing off into another oblivion, and I’d feel honored for it. I’m given just enough time to catch the glint in her eye, wetness sitting there in the corner before she looks away again. “Today made me so happy.”

“Me too, bug. I can hardly believe I get t’ do this e’ry day . . with you,” I snicker happily, tugging on her hand until my arms are surrounding her shoulders. 

“Neither can I,” she concurs, the words tickling the skin peeking out from my hardly buttoned shirt. A second of wetness tickles the skin there when my hand comes to cup the back of her head, pressing a kiss below my thumb a moment later. 

“Call me when ya get home, will you? We should FaceTime and watch anotha episode, if yer not gettin’ too sick o’ me yet.”

“Never,” she sighs, nudging my chin towards the sky when she lifts her head. It falls now, to find her moist blue eyes searching for me. It plummets further until my lips catch the hint of a tear at the corner of her eye, kissing it away. “I could never get sick of you.”

“‘s gonna be quite a long time befo’ I get sick o’ you, bug,” I murmur against her cheek, the traces of orange blossoms marking her skin. I can almost taste it on my lips when I leave a kiss there. 

“I’m not going anywhere,” she says, yanking my eyes to her grinning lips that I envelop with my own. A ‘good’ brushes against her pair between moments of adoring her top lip between mine. The tip of her nose leaves lazy circles drawn on my skin while I sketch my own onto her creamy skin. The moment couldn’t last long enough. I wish I could freeze it in time and enjoy it for longer before my lungs begin to burn for air. 

“Drive safe,” I whisper against her mouth, saying goodbyes into her hair with the motions of my thumb. 

“I will, don’t worry. I’ll call you when I get home, it shouldn’t take me even fifteen minutes to get there.”

“‘Kay, ‘ll talk t’ you soon then,” I smile, touching my lips to her button nose. “Boops.” 

“Now, don’t stay here too long, boss. You’re going to turn into a workaholic or something, Harry,” Becks taunts with her flushed lips drawing me in. 

“‘ll try not t’, that’s all I can promise.”

A laugh joins her answering nod before she surprises me with one last kiss, making me want to take back all of the words I just said, and spend a few more moments kissing her. Minutes, maybe. 

“Night, Harry.”

“G’night, Becks. ‘ll talk t’ ya later . . my love,” I divulge, enjoying the pink that rises in her cheeks at the mention of the simple words. Simple, yet oh so true. 

“Bye, my Harry,” she echoes, squeezing my hand one last time on her way out the door. Her azul blue eyes meet mine over her shoulder when she pulls my door closed, decadent lips curled into a smile just for me. Lips that I already want to have touching my own again, dark chocolate waves I want to be losing my hands in, and that laugh I want to be pulling from her lips. 

It’s never long enough with her, but I get to do today all over again with her tomorrow. The day after that, and after that. Stolen kisses in the copier room, her head on my shoulder while watching FRIENDS at my desk, those pretty fingers dancing along my tense shoulders, and a closeness between us that I’ve longed to have for so long. Too long. 

A closeness with her that I never want to lose.

+

The very last unanswered email is whisked away with a whoosh. Finally, I have that done. With it, it drags my eyes to my wrist that vibrates with an alert. A premature smile graces my lips until it falls at the sight of a different name, not the one I was expecting. 

“What’s takin’ her so long?” I mutter as my eyes flit over Myles’ text, some joke about firing me if I keep staying past five o’clock. 

“Bastard,” I sigh with a shake of my head, pressing my palm to the screen as the time repeats in my head. 

5:26 passes. 

Then, 5:36 passes too as I wait for her to reply to my texts, or to call.

Reckon she should’ve been home by now, having left at 5, I wonder silently, aware of the thrumming of my heart. I’m sure she’s just making something to eat. 

Yeah, Harry, that’s it. 

Why am I worrying so much? 5 o’clock traffic is a bitch, anyways. It’s what made me late to our date the other night, so I should know. 

“She’ll call soon,” I mumble aloud, crafting a quick text to her, adding to the others I’ve already sent her tonight.

i think today may have been my favourite w/ u so far ;) xo

hurry up slowpoke

rebecca ann ur slow. im kiddin. drive safe bug xo

Sighing, I turn back to my iMac where I already have the next episode of FRIENDS queued up, waiting for her. 

A new bloop! sounds when an email arrives in my inbox. Clicking on it, I begin to absorb the words until my office phone interrupts with a loud bringggggg! 

“This ‘s Harry,” I say automatically, and am answered with an eerie silence. A darkness trickles into my chest at the little sounds accompanying it. The pangs of worry return, demanding to be felt amongst the mix of it all. “Hullo?” 

“H-Harry, this is Skye,” a shaky voice replies at last. 

“Hi, what’re you doin’ callin’ me main line?” I joke, hoping to add a lightness to the atmosphere that so direly requires one. The fear threatening at my edges gains strength when I make out the likeness of it in her voice. “If yer lookin’ fer Becks she left half an hour ago, reckon she’s home by now.”

“No, s-she’s not,” she says. I hear it, and I immediately wish that I hadn’t. Denying it with a shake of my head, it doesn’t disappear that easily, the crack in her voice. “She . . d-didn’t make it home, Harry.”

“What’re ya talkin’ ‘bout, Skye? I jus’ saw her half an hour ago,” I contend, rushing through my words as my back straightens to full attention. 

“I know . . I just talked to her on the phone f-fifteen minutes ago, but Harry . . ,” Skye continues, words wandering away from her. They’re kidnapped by the tears that I finally acknowledge in her voice, and now echoing on the line. “S-She was in . . an accident.”

“What . . What kinda accident? ‘s she alright? W-Who told you this? That can’t be right, I jus’ saw her,” I argue, losing my footing quite immediately. 

Rising to my feet, the words are too close for comfort and my knees threaten to give out on me. A hand races to my hair, carding heavy strokes through it that tug hairs loose, but I disregard the pain. Another form of it demands to be felt inside of me, next to my heart that climbs in speed with every moment absent of words. An absence of Becks being okay. 

“I don’t want it to be real either, Harry, b-but an officer just rang me. H-He said a car ran a light and h-hit her . . not long after I got off the phone with her. It was right behind the driver’s side and . . it doesn’t look very good,” she reveals, sobs growing thicker in her voice. My feet run rampant circles around my office as my fingers tug violently at my hair. 

“This ‘sn’t funny, Skye, if yer pullin’ me leg,” I begin with a forced amusement, but it doesn’t make it very far. I don’t make it that far until I fall onto the sofa, my words crashing into loud sobs that steal my breath away. “I jus’ got her back . . I can’t lose her ‘gain,” the confession comes, drenched in tears that shake my body. 

“I know,” she agrees with echoing devastation as tears paint the inside of my palm clung to my face. “She’s been my best friend for t-twenty-one years, Harry. I-I can’t imagine my life without her, and I know she’d never want to imagine a life without you.”

My head shakes rapidly from side to side as the tepid wetness paints stripes down my cheeks, escaping from my eyes that I press shut painfully. Whimpers flee from my lips, the very ones that were just kissing hers thirty minutes prior. 

This can’t be happening. No, I can’t lose my Becks when she just found her way back to me. 

“No, no . . no, no,” I sob, each utterance becoming more indiscernible with the emotions consuming them. “Not my Becks,” I mutter, air escaping my lungs with such force that leaves me dizzy in the head. 

“She’ll be okay, she’s strong, Harry. She’s made it through so much other shit. N-Not this sort, but . . . she broke her leg riding bike one time when we were eight, and she was fine. S-She cut her finger cooking once and drove herself to hospital all herself,” Skye reveals, the trembling words doing nothing to calm my heart that I’m afraid may bound from my chest at a moment’s notice. 

“Strongest person I know,” I concur, a hiccup rattling my voice that fights for composure. “W-What’d they tell you . . ‘bout Becks?”

“They’re taking her to uh, King’s Cross hospital. Reckon there’ll be a waiting room I can meet you at while s-she’s in . . surgery,” Skye explains, and my head rushes up and down with nods now. I shakily get to my feet and take a step towards my door, but once again, I don’t make it far. A wooziness falls over me, and I grab the arm of the sofa just in time to recover. “They said they stabilized her and she was breathing and everything, b-but surgery was in order. Car was totaled, though. That’s not good . . No, that’s not good,” she cries, words falling harder and harder the more she goes on. With every one that she speaks, my sobs thicken and louden against the confines of my palm. 

“Don’t say that . . D-Don’t, she’s gonna be okay. She has t’ be,” I defend, wishing more with every second that I believed my own words. If the words themselves could wish it into existence, I’d speak them over and over until it came true. 

“I’m sorry,” she confesses breathlessly. “I’ll uh, meet you there. C-Call me when you get there. It’s the . . hospital on the west side of town, not too far from you, I reckon. She’s probably . . already there,” Skye finishes before the dial tone drills into my ears, and I’m left listening to my unsteady breaths. 

The phone plummets from my hand to meet the floor with a crrrrrunching sound, but I don’t even care. There’s so little I care about in this moment, because my thoughts are consumed by her. They’re racing, demanding, and making me sick. My chest trembles with another intense sob as my palms press against my eyes. Strands of my hair are taut around my fingertips, my scalp searing with pain. 

She’s become all I’ve cared about in these last few weeks, and it’s been magnified within moments now.

“No,” I cry, salt water dripping over my lips and plummeting from my chin. “Becks, no.”

Sniffling, it’s suddenly impossible to ignore the rock sitting in my gut. Jumping to my feet, my hands fall as I cross the room and fall to my knees harshly. The cold, granite tiles dig into my boney limbs as I retch into the bin. Grouting in the tiles leaves marks on my skin when I wipe the back of my hand across my mouth moments later. 

Sweat beads on my forehead as the room spins around me. Tears press harshly at the back of my eyes when I envision her standing in front of me, kissing me goodbye just moments ago, it seemed. Shakes overwhelm my body within seconds, and my knees kiss the tiles once more. The coolness is welcomed by my flushed forehead as I curl into myself, her smiling face captivating every thought I have while my body convulses with a new sob. It takes the last ounces of strength I can find to pull myself up to a kneeling position, then to plant one foot against the floor, and another until I’m standing. 

“‘m comin’, Becks,” I mumble, voice breaking from the first word. Wiping under my eyes, I rip open the door. Feet pounding down the hallway, I sniffle as another warm stripe cascades down my cheeks. A second and third accompany it when I pass her office, and I yank my eyes away, knowing that I can’t look. I’ll collapse to the floor again if I see her name sitting there on the door, waiting for her to return tomorrow morning. 

Patting my pockets hastily, I yank my ring of keys from the fabric only to drop them. Cursing, I bend down to pick them up before rounding the corner. I’m almost knocked off my feet by Myles who skids to a halt. Unbeknownst to me, I didn’t think I could be hurting more until I found the look that dawns on his face. 

“Hare, what’s wrong?” he demands, grabbing my bicep. 

A sob revokes my words and a hand flies to my mouth. Eyebrows falling, tears interrupt my voice as the explanation plays on a loop between my ears. 

“Becks, s-she . . ,” I try to say, but a shake of my head places a gap in between my words. “Was inn’a accident. I have t’ go t’ her . . tha hospital. I wanna be there when she wakes up, and-,” now, I cut myself off abruptly. Tears blur my vision, and soon I’m seeing stripes. A feeling surrounds me, and I find that it’s his arms crushing me in a hug. His name drops from my lips in a choked sob. 

“You’re not driving anywhere like this. I’ll take ya, Hare,” he murmurs into my ear, out of place back rubbing following his words. “I’m so bloody sorry, mate. Fuck, I just saw her when she left.”

“So did I. H-How can it be real? I just . . . I jus’ got her back, My’. She jus’ came back t’ me and we jus’ started datin’ finally . . I can’t fookin’ lose her all over ‘gain, not fer real this time . . I don’t think I could live inn’a world that she’s not in, Myles,” I confess into his shoulder, clutching onto him. My chest expands and falls against his, convulsing with every worst case scenario that sends tears flying from my eyes. 

“It’ll be okay.”

“Don’t fookin’ say that, ‘coz what if it ‘s not? What if she’s not okay? What if she . . d-dies, My’? I can’t-,” the words run away from me, and for once, I’m thankful for it. They’re drenched by too much reality, more than I can stomach.

I don’t remember following him down to the parking garage, or getting into the car. The next thing I know, my head is tipped against the frosty glass window in his BMW, the lights of London cloudy from behind my eyes. 

“I jus’ bloody saw her, and I kissed her and hugged her,” I whisper, watching the words fog up the glass, if only for mere seconds. A warm tear dives from my chin, crashing onto the v of my chest. 

‘I knows’ answer me back, as well as squeezes to my arms when I least expect them. It all runs into a blur - the traffic, snow fluttering against the windows, and the pounds of tears I shed into the air. Most of all, the thoughts running rampant within me hardly make much sense by the time we’ve parked. The one thing that’s clear as day is how my heart swells with bittersweetness when her face swims inside of my skull, and the love that pours out from it for her. 

I already know that I love her, and it only makes me hurt a million times worse. 

“She’ll likely be in surgery for a good while, it’s a rather long affair, Hare,” Myles announces as the automatic sliding doors open for us, greeting us with a burst of hot air. 

“I know . . Skye said she’s in tha waitin’ room erm, on tha second floor,” I respond, reading from my phone. My eyes fill with more tears as I swipe a finger under the both of them, sniffling. 

“Here, I see a lift.”

Relief ironically escapes me when we finally find Skye bouncing her legs up and down in a chair, arms wrapped around herself as she stares at the floor. It takes her a moment to look up after saying her name, but with her disarray of colorful hair, I reckon she’s the best person I can relate to on this entire floor. 

“Hey,” I whisper when I embrace her, surprising myself at the same time. A shy ‘hi’ fills my ears as her thin frame greets mine. Her shaking arms squeeze me around the middle, and I linger there for a few seconds than necessary before pulling away. “Has anybody came t’ talk t’ you?”

“No, not yet. I just checked in with somebody when I came in, and they said to come up here. S-So, I did, and the nurse’s desk told me somebody would come when they have news. Whenever that is,” she sighs, flicking a thumb below her eye to catch a tear that strays from her waterline. 

“D-Did ya call Robbie and her dad?” 

“Yeah, just now. Robbie should be here soon, and Chuck was just about to leave . . I figure he won’t get here until she’s out of surgery, even though we don’t know how bloody long that’ll take. But, he’ll be here i-in a few hours,” she answers, her voice catching on the last of her words. 

“I’m gonna go and find us something to drink,” Myles interrupts, nodding his head down the hallway. I mirror his actions, grateful for the offer as I clear my scratchy throat. It dried up the second those very words rocked me to the core. 

Silence ensues as I fall onto the lumpy sofa beside her, a telly across the room murmuring softly in the background. Magazines lie open in front of us on the wooden table, chairs and more chairs surrounding us. 

“I wish somebody would just tell us something,” she groans beside me, wringing her hands in her lap. A sob stills in her throat and I watch her face collapse along with it. 

“I can go and ask, ‘m antsy too. Only been here a minute and already I am,” I suggest with a tough swallow. The lump in my throat greets me again as she shakes her head ‘no.’ 

Folding my hands together, they come to sit against my mouth as I now bounce my knee. Eyes flitting in every direction, I will a nurse or doctor littering the halls to wander over to us with their bloody clipboard and lab coat. 

“Find anythin’ else out tho’?” I pipe up, dropping a hand and letting it squeeze hers. I’ve only met this woman a handful of times, and yet, I know that she’s the closest thing I’ve got to a friend here. She’s the only other person who could understand how I’m feeling right now, because she’s the only other person in this damn hospital who loves Becky too. At the same time, my actions are unprecedented and alien to me, this entire situation is. 

Tears arrive in my eyes as I wait for her voice to make a choppy return, “Just when I got here and checked in, s-so to speak, that she was in surgery. They didn’t say what for really, I suppose only the team working on- with her knows,” she explains, and now, I’m the one nodding. A long breath spills from my lips, and it does next to nothing to calm the thrashing of my heart, and the onslaught of my mind. 

The reality of the situation brings my head into my palms again where I spill silent tears, accentuated by the whimpers of my lips. My entire body shakes with every sob, every sob that yearns for my arms to return to her. My eyes to see hers again, those baby blues that now, I can’t stop imagining my babies having one day. That painful thought makes them come harder now while I struggle for air, lungs burning for other reasons now, like nonexistent children that I very well may never have with her now.

Fuck. 

I wish more than anything that I could be back in my office an hour ago, annoying her with kisses as she finished up an email. What I’d do to have my lungs burning in need of the air filling hers, and not for the air around me that may not even hold her life anymore. 

No, I can’t think like that. If I entertain that thought for a millisecond, there’s no going back. 

“You know, you’re her whole world and always have been. She couldn’t shut up about you lately, a-and all of your dates. When I spoke to her on the phone r-right before . . . she was saying how amazing of a day she had had . . with you. She couldn’t wait to do it all over again, she’s so mad about you, Harry. S-She even wrote you this letter once saying how she-,” Skye divulges, the words filling my ears. Instantaneously, they want nothing more than to spit them back out. 

“Don’t! Don’t say all o’ that. D-Don’t say it in past tense, or like she’s not . . g-gonna be able t’ tell me all ‘bout it. We can’t act that way . . She’s gonna be okay, she’s gotta be okay,” I insist into my hands, struggling for breaths. Lifting my head, I turn it away from her and towards the window, my lips squashed into a line. Briny tears drip over them as I squeeze my eyes shut tightly, hiccups finding their way into the air. 

“I’m sorry, I-.”

“I c-can’t talk ‘bout her like she’s- like that. I can’t t-think ‘bout her like that . . her not bein’ here anymo’,” I exclaim, shooting to my feet in order to change directions. 

I thought I couldn’t believe my life earlier today and the direction it’d taken, and now, I can’t believe it one bit. I don’t want to, and I wish I didn’t have to. I thought that I was living a dream today, and now, I know that I’m living a nightmare. I didn’t want to wake up earlier, but I need to now, more than anything. 

I want to open my eyes and find her curled against my chest, snoring peacefully with her body warming mine. Like last night, a moment I could live in for forever. 

A vibrating in my pocket barges into my thoughts, and I’m unsure whether to welcome it as I reach for it. The same ringtone by The Cure sings from around my wrist, and my heart only falls deeper when I see the name claiming it. It sends a wave of relief throughout my body, but it only lasts a few seconds. The only name that could make it permanent is far from an option, and here I am, still wishing for it with my own two eyes. I wish that she wasn’t in an operating room somewhere in this same building, and instead her voice was singing from my phone. That’s how it was supposed to be, anyways. 

“Mum,” I answer softly, steps halting in the hallway. A sob freezes in my chest at the thought of having to speak truth into the nightmare I’m living. 

“Harry honey, what’s tha matta?” my mum responds, worry rocking her voice. 

“‘s Becks. She-,” I confess, but I can’t say it. I want nothing more than to say something else. When she asks if she’s alright, I want to say yes, and it sends wobbles down my legs knowing that I can’t say that. I can’t say it, because I don’t know it. 

“It’s okay, love, take a deep breath.”

“I can’t,” I weep, a wail escaping my lips, muffled by my palm. The tear stained skin flies to my hair that I tug at, ignoring the throb of my head hitting the wall of the hallway. “I can’t breathe, mum . . I can’t not knowin’ if she ‘s okay.”

“Oh, darlin’. What happened to her?”

“She w-was . . . inn’a car accident,” I admit breathlessly, sucking in lungfuls of air that don’t do a thing. A fire still lives deep down inside of my chest, and it was born the moment I heard Skye speak those words. “‘m at tha hospital now waitin’ t’ hear sumthin.’ Her best friend’s here with me, but, mum. ‘m so scared . . that ‘m gonna lose her fer real,” I whimper, swiping my tongue across my trembling lips wet with tears. 

“Oh, Harry,” she sighs, my sadness mirrored in her voice. “I’m so sorry, love. Do they know the extent of her injuries?” 

“I dunno, all they told her friend ‘s that she’s in surgery. We’re waitin’ fer sumbody t’ tell us mo’,” I answer, hiccups stealing my words away from me. “I hate sittin’ here not knowin’, I should go and ask . . but ‘m afraid t’. Mum . . ,” I trail off, weakness overwhelming my body that sags against the wall. I’m not even aware of the people walking past me and the hush of voices, but I couldn’t care less. 

“Breathe, honey, please. Everythin’ will be okay. I know it doesn’t seem that way right now, but it will.”

“Ya can’t say that! Ya dunno if ‘s true,” I exclaim, anger seeping through in my voice, but it’s misdirected. “I jus’ want this all t’ be a dream, I don’t want it t’ be real. I can’t think ‘bout it . . ‘bout her . . dyin’.”

“Shhhh, love. I’m sorry.”

“No, I am. But, God, mum . . I love her. I already know I do. I know it sounds bloody mad seein’ we’ve only been on two dates, but-,” I begin, but she interrupts me, reminding me of where I get my love of it from. 

“No, it doesn’t sound like that, honey. I know how you’ve felt ‘bout her these last few years, she’s been all you could talk ‘bout,” my mother says, and the only relief that I’ve seen is offered in her voice. 

“I love her, mum, and she m-might-,” I try to say, but I can’t spit those words out. I don’t think I ever could, and my desire to avoid them for the rest of eternity trumps all else. 

“Do you think she feels tha same way ‘bout you?” she asks calmly. A huff passes my lips, and I breathe in through my nose slowly. It doesn’t make a difference when a melancholy wave knocks me over. 

“Y-Ya . . I think I know she does now,” I whimper, my voice drowning in the tears. 

“And does she know how you feel ‘bout her, Harry?”

“Ya, reckon she does. I haven’t been able t’ stop lovin’ on her since our first date. And n-now . . I may neva get t’ kiss her ‘gain or hug her or . . ,” the sob leaves more trails of tepid tears on my cheeks. My thumbs press against my eyes, willing the tears to abate, but they don’t obey. Not one part of my body has obeyed my commands since I heard those nightmarish words. 

“Then it sounds like she has somethin’ to fight fer, love. It’s not tha ‘end all be all,’ but tha will to live is a powerful thing, son,” she tells me, the first licks of ice calming my feverish heart. 

“I hope yer right.”

“I’m your mum, I’m always right,” she quips, and the first hint of a laugh graces my lips. It’s gone as fast as it came, stolen away by another round of whimpers shaking from my lips. 

“Everythin’ will be okay, son.”

“And if they aren’t, and . . . she d-doesn’t make it, mum?” I sob, the words finding their exit between sobs that rip from my chest. Pain soars through the tear at the uttering of the words that I have to acknowledge, and wish that I never had to think. 

“Then mumma will be there att’a moment’s notice fer ya,” she replies, and I wish I didn’t hear the crack in her voice. It’s the very one that tore open the slit that the tears poured out through. This all started with the crack of a voice. “Lemme know if you want me to come, Harry.”

“B-But I jus’ got her back, mum. I can’t . . She can’t . . ,” I fail once again, and this time, I’m okay with it. I don’t want to ever have to say that word again, I’ve already uttered them one too many times. 

“You’ll never lose that love ya had, Harry. Trust me, I know ya can’t. I miss Robin every bloody day, but his passin’ didn’t take away our love or tha memories we made . . I know that your love with her only jus’ started, but ya had somethin’ special. I can already see that, darlin’, and you’ll never lose tha memories you made with her, and tha love that ya made together . . Think of those happy times ya had with her while you’re waitin’ for her to be outta surgery. After that, ya should get some rest, love. Sometimes surgeries can take long, and that’s okay, ‘cause you want tha doctors to be thorough and to do all that they can fer her. And they will do all that they can to save her, Harry . . It’s almost six o’clock, love, and even after her surgery is done, it takes a while to come outta anesthesia. It’ll be a long night. Try to get some rest, son, I’m sure she’d want you to,” she explains to me, and suddenly, I wish I could get a hug from my mum. 

The thought propels me into others, wishing I could hide in the arms of another. She’s always been my very favorite hiding place, and another wave rocks through me at the thought of never getting to escape to her arms again. Her smell sends my heart spinning as I drop my phone back into my pocket, aching to have her hair tickle my nose with the scent. Placing my palms against my eyes slick from crying, I hiccup in between tears. Uneven breaths pour in and out of me, and for a second, I can remember the traces of her weight in my arms. The smell of her orange blossom shampoo, the taste of her cherry carmex chapstick, and the strokes of black and gray ink along her wrist. 

“Becks, please be okay,” I mutter underneath my breath. My scalp sings with pain when my fingernails dig into the skin, making me realize this is all real. It’s not a dream that I can wake myself up from, because my life became a dream and then fell away into a nightmare. 

“Harry!” somebody calls my name. I don’t know how much time has passed, standing there in the corner of the hallway pouring my eyes out into my hands. 

It takes a few moments for my eyes to focus ahead of me, and for a fleeting second, her face appears in front of them. Blinking hard, I rub a knuckle against my eye, and she’s gone in a flash. Instead, I find Skye waving me back over to the chairs where a tall man in navy blue scrubs stands in front of her. 

“Coming,” I answer, clearing my throat as my feet remember how to work. The tingles that had settled into my sleeping limbs disperse as I take long, hurried steps until I’m at her side again, trying to forget the words she had said earlier. 

“Is this everybody?” the man says, tanned arms crossed over his chest. 

“No, wait!” another voice pipes up, and I spin around to find Robbie rushing towards us. “I-I’m her brother,” he continues, voice shaky with emotions. His eyes briefly meet mine before he stops at my side, engulfed by a hug of Skye’s. 

“Hey,” I mumble when he pulls away with a nod, his fist brushing along one of his cheeks. The greeting is difficult as my eyes are met with pain and striking similarity. Her very same baby blue eyes sit before me, as well as the wavy dark hair, and a distorted version of her lovely facial features. 

“Hey, Harry,” he returns, his adam’s apple bobbing in his throat after his words. 

When his wet eyes meet mine, more unspoken words pass between us including ‘thank you’s and silent understandings. My squeezing grip is met by his taut arm when I watch the shiny tears fill his eyes. He nods back at me, quivering lips absent of words while another tear breaks free from his Holte Blue Eyes. Those goddamned eyes tear another rip into my heart at the mere sight, drudging up the wishes they conjured within my mind just last night. 

Styles babies with Holte Blue eyes. 

Please, God. Please let that still be a truth. 

“Now that we’re all here, I’m Jack. I’m sorry for the circumstances we’re meeting on, but I’m a nurse on your uh, family member’s team. Rebecca was in a serious accident, and we’re doing all that we can. She went into surgery around ten minutes ago, as soon as she got here,” the towering man explains, achieving the closest thing to quieting my mind. I’m just afraid that when he stops talking, my skull will be vibrating with more thoughts, and far worse ones. “She suffered some fractured ribs that unfortunately pierced her spleen, causing internal bleeding. That is the most urgent of her injuries, but rib fractures are incredibly painful. They can make it hard to breathe deeply or to cough properly, sometimes leading to chest infections. In the accident, she also fractured her ankle, but we’re not entirely sure of the extent of it. Due to the impact of the other car hitting her and the location of it, her right arm was broken and . . Grade 2 concussion . . amnesia,” a cloud passes over my ears then, and I turn away, soon falling into a nearby chair. 

Worst case scenarios bloom within the attic of my body, spewing tears onto my cheeks. Waterfalls cascade down them, fueled by the replaying of the man’s words between my ears. Fractured ribs. Internal bleeding. Chest infections. Amnesia. Broken ankle. Concussion. Broken arm. The tears come harder at the realization of every word, and how they laden my heart with further darkness. It falls into the recesses of my chest with each passing moment, the obscenities that left his mouth acting as the anchor that yank it down, further and further. 

I don’t hear my name the first few times, or register the hand on my shoulder. Swarms of possibilities that I can’t welcome lift me from my seat and down the hall once again until I repeat the past, and ram shoulders with Myles. My eyes fly to his surprised face, but it’s ephemeral before he’s pulling me against his front, and his hand is pressed against the back of my head. 

“She’s gotta be okay,” I plead into his shoulder, finding fistfuls of his blazer in my hands. “B-But internal bleedin’ . . amnesia . . broken bones . . a concussion . . infections. My’, I can’t do this,” the revelation feels prickly on my tongue as I fight to flight. 

“You can do this, Hare. You have to. Becky, she- she needs you to, mate,” he insists, hands waving stripes against my back. I shake my head back and forth into him, refusing to believe any of this. 

“No, this can’t be real. It can’t. I jus’ saw her, I jus’ kissed her and hugged her,” I weep, repetitive begging pouring from my tongue. My hands let go and I push at his chest for escape. He only holds me tighter within his steely arms, and I make out the first of his tears. “I shoulda told her that I loved her, I dunno if she knew. I shoulda told her,” I relent, my body becoming pliant against his. 

“She knew, Harry. I think she knew, mate . . You showed it to her in so many bloody ways, you didn’t have to say it. She knew it, she saw it. You’ll get to tell her, and hear her say it back,” he tells me, but my head hasn’t stopped shaking in denial. “Her friend over there is almost smiling, I think. The nurse is too, it looks like maybe it’s not so meek after all, Hare. It looks like she might be okay.” 

“This ‘sn’t funny, Myles, I swear t’-,” I wail, breaths filling my lungs and refusing to remain. A ‘no’ fills my ears, and I’m forced to turn around when he pulls away at the sound of my name. Yet, he’s not the one saying it. 

“Harry!” Skye calls, and her hurried steps follow her voice. Smearing the tears from my eyes, I gulp and find the bravery to look up. Becky’s best friend in the whole entire world stops in front of me, eyes rimmed with red. “They sound hopeful,” she reveals, the smallest spark of a smile sitting at the edge of her lips. Robbie stops a step behind her, shoving hands into his pockets while a tear falls from the slope of his chin. 

“Really?” I croak, stepping away from Myles until his arms fall from me. She answers with a nod and a rosy smile blooms on her lips before my eyes. 

“Yeah, they said her vitals are becoming more stable which is good. They’re amazed that her injuries weren’t worse, they said that she got lucky,” she explains, and it sounds like music to my ears. The first good thing I’ve heard tonight, albeit this whole affair only taking up the last hour of my life. It’s felt like days on end, not mere minutes. “I’m gonna go and call Chuck to tell him.”

My nod answers her words and Myles leaves with a pat to my back, “I’m gonna go and check on coffees again, maybe food later when you’re feeling like eating,” he announces. My hand finds its way to my curls once again, surely free of snarls now after the number I did on them. 

“It’s good to see you here. Well, not good given the reason why, but you know what I mean.”

Looking up, I find Robbie’s bleary blues pointed at me. I do all that I can, and that’s a nod. 

“You too,” I manage at the last moment, patting his arm awkwardly. His feet wander back over to a line of chairs, and I follow him. Falling into the one left of him, a hushed silence surrounds us. 

“Did she ever tell you that she has ‘feelings’ about things?” Robbie mutters, a sniffle interrupting his question at times. 

“Ya,” I sigh, my bottom lip numb from my teeth pressing into it from all directions. “Good and bad feelings.”

“Yeah . . I got one that I couldn’t shake tonight,” he reveals. His eyes flooded with glassy tears surprise me again, and I almost see her sitting in front of me. A memory from one of our times at the hospital threatens to break loose from the confines of my mind, but I hold it back. “So I rang her, she was just leaving work . . with you. She sounded so happy, and I couldn’t figure out why I’d gotten it. Now, I know . . ,” he finishes, an ironically melancholy laugh bringing his revelation to an end. “Twin intuition, I guess.”

“Ya,” I mutter again, unsure of what else to say. I can’t figure out what to think sitting here in my puddle of tears, let alone something something to fucking say. 

“I hated hearing that bloke say those things, detailing all of the shit that happened to her,” Robbie notes aloud, and I find that I can’t tear my eyes away from my hands when I hear the unmistakable sound of tears letting loose. “But I mean . . it helped, and I think I have a feeling she’ll be alright.”

Conflicting tears run races down the slopes of my cheeks, drenching my eyelashes with liquid sadness. It does little to calm the hammering inside of my chest, but the mannerisms of hers I hear in his voice magnify it just slightly. The brash taste of iron spills across my tongue, and I release my bottom lip from its grasp, but it’s too late because the blood is flowing. My hands blur beneath my eyes, the shocks of baby pink and pastel purple burning in my eyes. The very fingers that she held between her own so delicately just last night, swiping the nail polish brush over their naked canvases. Every other is a different pastel wash of color, and I can still picture the bright yellow and teal that I had painted on hers. 

The warm metallic taste concentrates on my taste buds when my lips press together harshly, few salty tears finding their way into my mouth with my new sob. 

“Yer sista, she- I-,” I stop quickly, not even sure of what I’m saying. I could tell a thousand stories, but I can’t decide which one is right. 

“I know, believe me,” Robbie insists, and at last, I glance over to him. Her dark chocolate locks fall over his forehead, longer than from the first and only time I met him at my firm years ago. The fringe tickles at his eyes, and he pushes it out of his face. “You have something else, you two. I’ve only been telling her to jump your bones for the last two or so years,” he divulges, and a laugh so out of the ordinary adorns my lips. It sputters to a stop, feeling wildly inappropriate, but it comes back to life when a similar one echos from beside me. 

His eyes meet mine briefly, and hold me there looking into her blue eyes as we chuckle together. It doesn’t necessarily feel right, because it feels oh so very wrong. When that thought worms its way into my attic, the sound floats away from the both of us quickly. 

“I heard it all, you know. Your story’s out,” he tells me matter of factly, but the sarcasm can’t find a place in his voice. It falls away, forgotten. “I told her it was about goddamn time you two started dating. She should’ve listened to me sooner, but no, she’s too fucking stubborn.”

“Yer tellin’ me,” I hum, running the pad of my thumb over the glossy nail polish. If I focus hard enough, blocking out the ringing of the phones and Skye’s hushed voice, I can hear her laugh in the recesses of my mind. Laughing about messing up my pink thumb last night, alarm raised in her honey-like voice. “‘m not much betta, ‘m afraid. I didn’t even get t’ ask her on tha first date, she beat me t’ it.”

“I heard . . That sounds like her, always gotta be in control. She had to do everything first when we were little. Talk first, walk first, ride a bike without stabilisers, or graduate bloody uni first,” Robbie remarks, dragging the sole of his Old Skool mustard Vans along the edge of his leftie. “I dunno how she’s gonna fair having her dominant arm in a cast, she’ll throw a fit.” 

“Oh, I know. They betta make it purple,” I comment, and he snickers beside me, the tears still falling although silently. 

“She’ll make them do it all over again if they didn’t do it right the first time. It better look all perfect for Ree.”

His tears drill into my ears, yanking at my heart, but a small relief accompanies them. He’s not using past tense, and although hardly noticeable, it makes this bearable. I’ve spoken to the bloke only once in my life, and she was there beside me then, but I find it easier with every second. Save for the moments I peek at him and see traces of her painted all over him. They aren’t bleeding twins for nothing, I admit quietly, even noticing them wearing the same brand of shoes. A pang attacks my heart when I see him spinning the braided silver ring around his middle finger, and too quickly, I could picture it being hers. 

“D’ya think she’ll . . ,” I begin, but it feels wrong from the start, and I wish it’d never begun. With a shake of my head, I pick off a piece of purple nail polish from my pinkie. The action ricochets around in my chest, and I blink hard at the searing action. No, I can’t, because there’s a chance that she won’t be there to fix it. 

“It sounds rubbish, but our feelings are always right, Ree and I. With our dad, her with you, and me knowing something was going to happen tonight. Now, I think it’ll be okay. Stupid, I know, but I just do. I-I can’t . . . can’t think about her not being okay, she’s my . . . twin sister. I don’t want to think about it,” he confesses in between scattered tears, words growing thick and indistinct. 

“Neitha can I,” I admit, my chest falling at the end when more tears break loose from their gates. “She can’t leave, n-not this early. There’s so much I want with her still. She’s made a damn good lawyer already, and I know she’d make a betta mum and-.”

“She will, there’s nothing she’s not good at,” Robbie concurs with a sad smile adorning his face. I blink, and it’s gone as soon as it had come. “She always got back up after she fell too, on our bikes, ice skating, or even with leaving uni and then going back. Working at your firm too, you could even say. I just- I really want to believe that she’ll get back up from this too.”

“Me too . . mo’ than anythin’,” I agree aloud, shuffling my gray rose ring up and down the length of my finger as I picture the flower that adorns her wrist. “I need Becks t’ be okay.”

+

Phoebe and Joey flit across the screen in front of me, laughs and smiles shared on their faces. My head falls at the realization that those are the furthest things I could feel right now, or do. Licking my chapped lips, another tear graces my tongue. They’re fewer now, however long it’s been that I’ve been sitting in this chair. Asher waits with wandering eyes a few seats over now, and somehow, I’ve only said two words to him. It sends crashing pain through my insides to look at Robbie, her literal twin, but when I look at Asher, avalanches of grief fall inside of me. 

The images in front of me spark memory after bittersweet memory, and they try to whisk me away to a time where I was sitting in a chair like this and she was at my side laughing. Shaking my head, I find it in my hands once again, their three voices murmuring off to the side while devouring subs with Myles. 

Somehow, it’s already late. The sky is pitch black outside, and the stars twinkling somewhere that I can’t find. My eyes droop and yawns leave me occasionally, but sleep couldn’t be further away. If it was knocking at my door, I’d ignore it then too. There were few updates, and each one sounded more hopeful, but I’m afraid to get my hopes up. I’ve done that far too many times concerning her, and nine times out of ten, it left me broken. I hope that I can curb that if maybe I don’t get excited, and yet, saying goodbye to the hope fuels the fire killing me off on the inside. 

I want to turn it off, but I can’t find the remote. I wish I could turn all of this off, but I don’t know how. I can’t let myself fall asleep. No, not until she wakes up, and they just left minutes ago saying she was done in the OR after a successful surgery. I was surprised by how little it had phased me, seeing how Skye jumped to her feet and Robbie was all smiles. Myself though, I couldn’t seem to find one anywhere. I can’t find him. Me. I felt Myles watching me, and worrying. I knew she would be doing the same thing if this was all different, and I couldn’t count how many times I had wished for that truth by now. 

I wished that this could all be different, and alas, here I am too scared to believe it could be. The fear debilitates me with every waking second to believe that things could be okay. I’m so afraid to believe that she’ll be alright, because this all seems so sick and that it changes with every corner I turn. 

The rest of the episode passed before my absent eyes, and then Skye was coming back from seeing her in Recovery. Tears plastered her cheeks now, more than before, and they didn’t shy away from mine either. 

“You should go and see her,” she said, placing a hand on my shoulder. “I’ll be honest, i-it’s awful seeing her like that, b-but . . . it’s her. She’s okay.”

Words flee from my lips, replaced with an adamant shake of my head. I can’t even meet her eyes, because the only ones I can see are Becky’s. Now, I try to push them out of my head as I stare at my feet, the splashes of pink and purple begging for my attention. The color I so deeply crave is only within her eyes, and with a whimper, I try to will the image back to me. I fail, and the tears fall harder down my cheeks, making me wish I could be peppering kisses along hers. 

I’m on my feet before I know what I’m doing, or where I’m going. The instructing words from before repeat between my ears, pulling my feet around a corner and then another. They take me left, and then right. A long hall appears in front of me, and then I’m searching the walls. Numbers climb and climb until I find the very ones I’m looking for. A sob splashes against my palm when it comes to my lips, pressing hard against my mouth. 

208, it reads but that’s not what I see. 

February 8th is what I see staring back at me. The day of our first date, only three days ago. How in the hell has it only been three days since? How in the living fuck has it only been three hours since all of this has happened? 

My feet freeze in their path, and I ignore the nurses and doctors passing me, zig zagging from room to bloody room. Beeping wanders into my ears, and I painfully wonder which one is hers. Which one of those beeps is from her heart? Will it come to an abrupt stop and bring people rushing to her? Can she even hear it? No, she probably can’t, she’s still ‘asleep,’ or so they said. 

I don’t think I’m ready. No, I can’t be. How in the bleeding world could I be ready to see what I’m about to witness? I couldn’t ever be ready for this, and I never wanted to be. I never wanted to be having these thoughts living in my head, more than mere doubts and nightmares planted there randomly. Alas, I know why they’re there, and not for the reason I think first. No. 

I worry.

I fear.

I cry.

I doubt.

I struggle for breath.

I grieve.

I sob.

I ache. 

Because I love. 

No, not loved.

I love. 

All of these emotions and signs of pain course through me, one after the other, because I love that girl lying in that bed just behind those curtains. I love her, and I’ve known it all along. It’s what brought me here, in every way possible. It’s what propels me forward when the nurse at the computer nods, sliding open the gray curtain. It’s what pulls my eyes to the bed, and to the false sounds of breathing. Love is what wrenches the sobs from my chest at the appearance of wires, tubes, and machines hooked up to her. Love is the force that spins me around and makes me shoot down the hall, crumpling to the floor once I reach the corner by the vending machine. Love is what fills my tears that carry images of her lying in that bed fighting for her life. Love fights within myself as my entire body is racked with sobs while I curl into a ball, wishing that seeing wasn’t believing. 

Love is what makes me want to go back to her, and cover her broken body with kisses. Love is what scares the living shit out of me, preventing me from doing that in this very second, because I’m afraid that I’ll break her all the more. Love is what sends the words tumbling off of my aching lips. 

“‘m alright if yer alright, Becks . . . B-But ‘m not alright.”

+

My eyes continue to play tricks on me, but once I blink back the swarm of tears drowning in them, I find that this actually can get worse. Far worse. Their familiar glances shoot over to me and I don’t return them, ignoring the tears staining my skin. They disperse, but he remains there in the center of the waiting room, eyes on me. When I meet those sad blues at last, the newest sob is welcomed by my lips. In a blur, his arms welcome me and I let them. 

“It’s okay,” he croons against my ear, but my head shakes ‘no’s’ again and again into his unfamiliar shoulder. 

“But ‘s not. She’s not okay . . doesn’t even look like her in there. There’s so many wires and tubes and-,” my ragged breaths cut me off in time as his large hands clap against my back. 

“She’ll be okay. She’s a fighter, Harry, always has been. She’s already fighting hard, I see.”

“I wanted so fookin’ badly t’ think that this was all a dream, b-but then I saw her and . . . ‘s not,” I whimper, a new smell surrounding me as I clutch onto the back of his cold windbreaker. 

“Boops has been a fighter ever since she was born, Harry. Did she ever tell you that?” 

“No . . tell me what?” I return, my heart crashing around wildly inside my ribs, about to break free at a moment’s notice. 

“Her and Robbie had to stay in the hospital for a week after they were born,” Chuck narrates, his large palms pressed to my trembling back. “Not Ree, though, she was in and out. It only took her four days to figure everything out - how to breathe properly, eat, and even shit. But Robbie, he took a week. She was smaller too, but somehow she beat all the odds. They say that there’s typically a smaller twin who doesn’t get as much nutrition and the like while in the womb. They don’t have as good of chances thriving outside of the womb, but lookie there. Ree amazed us all, and she’s continued to do so ever since, Harry. I don’t think she’ll disappoint us today either, son,” he finishes, pulling away to cup my face with his palm. The Holte Blues stare back at me, and I catch her features mirrored in his. He nods at me with lips pressed into a flat line, and I see the tears welling in front of the blue as he pats my cheek. 

“Yer daughter, Chuck, I-.”

“I know you do, that’s why you’re here . .That’s why you’re so scared, and I’m rather damn positive she does too,” he returns, ending his words with a wink. 

I love her . . more than there are stars in the sky, and more than there are beats of my heart.

+

I had lost track of how many episodes I had watched of The Office on the telly, but it was wasted, because the images cut in and out in front of my absent eyes. The voices of those around me trickled through when I wasn’t battling with myself. I had long since ignored the gurgling of my stomach, and the buzzing of my phone. The only thing that finally woke me from my drowning senses was when Skye rushed into the room, jittery from the four coffees she'd downed. 

“She passed her vent test to come off it and is breathing on her own!” she exclaims, rather close to jumping for joy. Robbie soon finds himself caught in her embrace, and during my escape, I whiz past them and down the hall. 

“Becks,” I mumble under my breath, scratching at my cheek as the first new tears in the last half hour arrive in my tired eyes. I ignore their trailing voices, and the new sounds I’ve been drowning out. 

I rush past people and their stares, prying and not. Their eyes question me, and I don’t stop, craving the eyes that I’ve been without for far too long. Her blues. But I don’t find them when I delve into that room for the second time in three hours. Yet, I’m met with something miraculous all of the same. 

Most of the wires have disappeared from her body, and the tubes previously hidden in her throat are as well. The first hints of relief wash over me when I take another step, and then another until she’s within reach. It’s not the same and not how I pictured it, but there she is, just a step away. I’m so fucking glad it’s not like one of the ways I had thought of. Her skin is warm underneath my lips, singing praises behind my eyes. The splashes of blues and reds painting her face pull thick streams of tears onto my cheeks as I press kisses to hers. Steady breaths of hers tickle my skin, sprouting the first smile in hours on my lips. 

It’s my Becks. 

It’s her, my girl. 

Prickly stitches smatter her skin in places, but I avoid them as I run my fingers through her hair, brushing it off of her angelic face. A whimper escapes from my lips for a second, silenced by my hand as her face grows hazy from interrupting tears. My tears fall onto her ghost like skin, the remnants of orange blossoms speckled here and there. 

“‘m here, and yer alright. Everythin’s gonna be alright, my Becks,” I murmur against her forehead, peppering kisses to the freckles hidden amongst her skin. “‘m not goin’ anywhere, bug,” I finish, voice catching on the last word when I’m reminded of her saying the very same thing to me earlier today. “And neitha are you. Y-Ya keep yer promises too . . dontcha, Rebecca Ann? . .  An episode o’ FRIENDS came on earlier in tha waitin’ room . . it was our favourite one, ‘Tha One at tha Beach.’ I didn’t wanna watch it without you . . it hurt too much t’, b-but I shoulda known it was a sign that you’d be okay. And now, here ya are, me li’l fighta.” 

“I think . . I think I love you, Becks . . I dunno when I even decided that, seems ‘s been that way fer a while,” I confess into her hair, finalizing my words with another peck to her dark chocolate waves. “Please wake up so I can tell you, li’l one . . ‘ll be waitin’ here ‘til ya do.”

The only response I receive is the steady beating of the monitors sitting at her side. I watch them, sniffling, entranced by the numbers that vary only a few. A calmness washes over me as I lace my fingers with those of her left hand, careful of the wires, while watching the steady numbers. My eyes flit back to her, hidden underneath plain white blankets, and the pain makes a return to me once again. I know it’s all masked under there, the multitudes of stitches, casts, gauze, and brokenness. Injuries that I can’t fathom, no more than when that nurse breathed life into them in the waiting room.

“Ya said yest’day at me house that it was scary t’ admit how ya felt ‘bout me, and bloody hell, ‘s this scary t’ admit t’ you . . Last night I was thinkin’ ‘bout what our kids would look like. ‘m gettin’ ahead o’ meself, I know, only been on two dates so far,” I laugh ever so softly, thumbing at my ticklish nose while the whispers drop from my lips. Circles and curly mazes are left on her hand where my thumb draws them gently, even her name left there in invisible ink. “I hope mo’ than anythin’ they’d have yer gorgeous blue eyes, and prolly some perfect combo o’ our brown hair . . I hope they’d have yer cute li’l dimple, and yer beautiful laugh. Bet they’d be smart like you too, bug, and have yer drive t’ neva give up on sumthin’ . . I dunno if we’d be here if ya hadn’t given up on me . . and I promise you ‘m not ever gonna give up on you, Becks. Never . . ‘ll tell ya ‘bout all tha rest when ya wake up in tha mornin’. Sweet dreams, sleepyhead,” I announce, swallowing against my throat akin to a dessert.

Antiseptic and unfamiliarity greets my nose when I lay one last kiss on her forehead, careful of the nasal cannula across her cheeks. The feet of the metal chair squeal when I pull the chair closer to the bed, her hand limp in mine. Shocks of teal and yellow prick at my eyes, bringing the smallest of smiles to my face with a harsh gulp.

Wiping my nose with the back of my hand, my eyes scan over her obsessively, and lovingly. Underneath the strange blue gown, her chest rises and falls while her fingers remain warm in mine. I settle into the chair, adjusting it until I can lay my arm on the empty patch of bed at her side like a ninety degree angle. There, I lay my head, lulled into a quick sleep by her slow breathing, finally assured that she’s alright.

Only because of that, am I alright too.

+

My dreams had whisked me away, but it wasn’t for nearly long enough. I couldn’t know how long it had been. At the same time, it was too long and yet, not long enough. I didn’t know that I’d be grateful for waking up, and yet at the same time, the bittersweetness would make me yearn for my ignorant dream world once again. 

I’m woken by the feeling of something touching me, and as I slowly come to, I find it’s somebody playing with my hair. As sleep begins to drip off the edges of my subconscious, I can only wonder who that could be, until I suddenly know. My eyes fly open and flit to the face peering down at me. Her’s, and yet, it’s not. 

“Hey, sleepyhead,” she murmurs in a scratchy voice, propelling my body upwards within a second. 

“B-Becks!” I stammer, blinking hard in between rubbing at my eyes quickly, trying to decide if what I’m seeing is real. I find it hard to figure out what I want to be real, glimpsing again the bruises and cuts brandishing her face. 

“Hi,” she whispers, trying to smile, but I see that she doesn’t have it in her. 

“Becks,” I croak, tears tugging at every breath of the word as my arms go around her, and my face dives into her hair. 

“Ouch, careful,” she protests, and profuse apologies fill the air around us. “It’s okay,” she insists, the wires getting caught between us and my body surrounding hers. 

I back up instantly at the sound of her painful words, but it’s the very last thing I want to do. Touching her and wrapping her up in my arms has been the only thing I’ve wanted to do this entire time, ever since I got the call. Reality blanketing me sends thick sobs from me, and into her hair that doesn’t even smell like her anymore. The smell of orange blossom and vanilla is absent, and it continues to make this entire thing worse. It makes it too surreal, more real than I can handle. 

“Shhh, it’s okay,” she hums gently, a crackly sound to her labored voice. Her hands although dainty before, leave ghostlike trails on my back, adding another tally to the surrealness board. 

“D’ya rememba w-who I am?” I ask hurriedly, pulling away to find her exhausted eyes searching for mine. A corner of her chapped lips just barely curls into her cheek, the always present pink color fleeting in the moment. 

“Of course, you’re . . my Harry,” she mumbles with a long, tired blink. The mere five words pull thicker sobs from my lips. I just glimpse the beginnings of tears in her eyes when I return to her arms that beckon for me. 

“‘m so glad yer okay, Becks, so glad. I was bloody terrified ya wouldn’t be,” I confess into the warm crook of her neck, finding a trace of her fruity-vanilla scent tucked away there. 

“Me too, Harry,” she comments a few seconds too late, marked by a clearing of her throat. Although I’m not much better, I hear the evident struggle in her voice like she’s woken up after sleeping, but I know that the raspiness clouding her voice isn’t from that. It’s from the tube that was shoved down her throat to breathe for her, and probably caused the worst sore throat in existence. 

She hardly feels the same, body marked by wires and tubes, a scratchy gown, and an abrasive cast all along her right arm. Prickly threads dot her body in places where the glass left cuts too deep to leave, and the antiseptic smell of a hospital sticks to her all over. I want to hold her against me, to squeeze her all over until I know that she’s real and that this isn’t just a dream. The kiss I press to the top of her head is marred by the smell of iron, and the crusty feeling of blood hidden among her hair. The next one I leave on her forehead is better, and the warmth of her skin under my touch scores a point for reality, although a harsh one. 

“D’ya rememba . . what happened?” I wonder aloud, painfully. My heart, too shocked from the last several hours, doesn’t even budge when the sight of her again astonishes me. Her swollen left eye is surrounded by blue and purple bruises that paint her face in places. 

She nods her head up and down, until her face creases with presumed pain and she stops. My hand covers her entire cheek that I rub with the pad of my thumb, back and forth, back and forth. 

“I don’t know. . I only remember saying goodbye to you, and then . .  talking to the nurse now. I’m glad that’s the last thing . . I remember,” she replies slowly, the words fleeing her lips at times. 

“Y-yer amazin’, y’know that?” I sigh, the tears ever so present, and I’m unsure of when they’ll ever make their departure. A laugh tries to sound from her lips, but not even within a few seconds, her face is overcome with anguish. “Hey, are ya okay?”

“It hurts, but she gave me something.”

“Where’s it hurt, bug?” I question, eyes dancing across her body mostly covered by the thick hospital blankets. 

“Everywhere,” she exhales, sounding short of breath. My lips stray to her forehead once more to leave a peck there, unsure of what more I could do. “Mostly my head . . arm, and tummy.”

“Ya, that’s . . . where they cut ya open t’ fix ya up. And . . ya got a pretty nasty concussion, and a broken arm. It was a good thing ya were wearin’ yer seatbelt, love,” I tell her, struggling to resist covering her in kisses. If only that were the antidote for fixing all of this, for fixing her. I would do it in a heartbeat if it made all of this go away, as if it never happened. 

“Always,” she almost smiles, making my heart flutter. A smile tugs at my lips as I admire her, sure I’ve never seen anything more beautiful in my life, or bittersweet. She adjusts the nasal cannula feeding her additional oxygen, and I just hope it’s enough. I hope that this is all enough, and that so am I. 

Her heavy eyes drift closed, but the second they do, they flutter open again. They wander back to me and a stronger smile pulls at her lips, mimicking the same motion on the strings of my heart. 

“Don’t fight it, baby, get some rest,” I coo, stroking my fingers through her hair to move it away from her face, careful in doing so. 

“I’m okay . . I want to stay with you, Harry,” Becks admits gently, licking her dry lips. A sound of disbelief leaves mine. 

“Always so selfless, you are.”

“I’m sorry,” she yawns, wincing again at another wave of pain, making me step forward. If I try to again, there aren’t any more that I can take, regardless of the wishful thought that I have to slip into bed with her. “I can’t imagine how . . upset and scared you’ve been,” she apologizes, reaching a hand out to find mine, and it causes my heart to seize with a dose of happiness. 

“No, don’t you apologize. None o’ this ‘s yer fault, ‘s tha asshole who hit you whose fault it ‘s. Yer doin’ so good, Becks, ‘m . . . so fookin’ happy ya came back t’ me . . so proud. My Becks,” I say, smiling through the tears washing out my words. I see the smallest hint of the dimple in her left cheek when they round out from the tiniest of smiles. 

“I’ll always . . come back to you, Harry,” she smiles, and I give in, dipping to press my lips to hers. She may smell different, feel different, and even taste different, but the kiss makes me sure that this is my same Becks, and that this isn’t all a dream. Regardless of the fact that I wish it all was just a made-up dream that I could wake up from, I’m okay with the fact that it isn’t, as long as my girl is okay. 

Finally, she’s my girl. 

And finally, she’s okay. 

My Becks.

+

A/N: Hello, lovely people! Okay.... I am SO sorry for that, but thanks for sticking through it.. I promise Becks will be okay, I would never break up Hecky like that. I apologize for no real content warnings, I didn’t know how to do that without ruining the chapter... Also, please cut me some slack if I get any medical things wrong or they’re unrealistic, I’m not a doctor and I’m doing my best with what Google can give me and from personal experience in hospitals. Thanks SO much for reading all this way into the story, I mean it when I say I’m excited for you to see what’s going to happen! Feel free to visit my askbox if you want to talk after this rollercoaster of a chapter, I feel you. I’d LOVE to talk to anybody about Hecky anytime, or if you want a sneak peek of next week’s chapter lemme know! Make sure to check out the Hecky playlist - although it’s long, I think it has some great tunes on there that remind me of our fav couple! I admittedly had it playing the whole time I was making pasta the other day :P Have a great day, ily c:

[detectiveconnxr]

Love to hear your opinion! who're your favorite characters in DBH and why?

OOF alright I’m really resisting the urge to say that I love all of them equally because I dO but I’m gonna try to be objective here and really delve into my mind and pick out who I connect with the most

Also a disclaimer this gets longer than I thought it would sdjfkhsd so I’m gonna put all of this under the keep reading so it’s not like a mile long on people’s dashboards and you can choose to read all of it or not lmao !!!!

So…..if it wasn’t already obvious from my icon…..and my header……..and my username lmao one of my favorites is definitely Connor. Although I’m aware of a lot of the fandom’s favoritism towards Connor which affects the balance in content for the characters in this game (which is something that I’m hoping to fix with this blog and what I gif) I can’t help but pick him out as my personal favorite! He’s the whole reason that I got into the fandom in the first place. There was just non-stop Connor content on my dash when the game first came out and I was like “who tf is this twink that keeps showing up on tumblr” so I’m partially biased because of that, but also I think it’s his relationship with Hank that really sunk it’s claws into my brain, the overwhelming Dad & Son energy that exuded from these two had me HOOKED and I’m also a slut for Found Family tropes soooo (also Bryan Dechart really just be out here ruining my life with how good he looks in game and out of game)

But I also think that another aspect of Connor in the game that I really enjoy is how much control we have over deciding his character. Out of the main three, Connor is the only one who we have such a major option in deciding if we want to play him towards the Deviant ending or the Machine ending, and this variety in character that we get is SO interesting to me, because on one hand we have Lovable and Huggable Deviant Hunter who loves dogs and cares so much about Hank, and then like on the OPPOSITE end of that we’ve got Terminator Deviant Hunter who will Destroy Everyone at every opportunity and is a smug lil asshole with his “wHAtS uP LiEuTeNAnt” like I truly can’t get over that and it makes for some really fun gameplay when you can flip flop between these two different personalities

Another character that I seriously love with my whole heart is Luther, who NEEDS more love and appreciation in this fandom because he is a whole ass sweetheart!!!!! Like, he is quite literally one of the most kindhearted and caring people in the game, he’s a gentle giant who puts the needs of others before himself. Every time he comes on screen I just point at him and go “LUTHER YOU DESERVE THE WORLD” because he really does, and there’s a scene that stands out to me when I was trying to get the Zlatko ending for Kara (which i do not recommend because it is HEARTBREAKING) where you can interact with Luther while Kara’s memory is wiped and he breaks out of his programming for just a second to tell Kara that he’s sorry and it’s such a small scene but it KILLS me every time

Okay this is maybe getting way too long because I ramble too much but I’d like to talk about Markus and that I adore his character as well and him and Carl’s relationship really stands out to me when I think about the game, a part of me just wishes that he had more of a reason I guess for wanting to be the liberator of all the android’s. I’m trying to word this in the right way that doens’t sound stupid because I do think that Markus has a good reason and I like that he’s the leader and it fits his character, but there are moments where he talks about how he was just a “slave to the humans” and I can’t help but think “markus….you had like the perfect life with carl and he loved you and didn’t order you around and taught you to be alive w-where did this slave thing come from” but I’m going to blame this lil nugget on David Cage’s writing lmao because other than that there are a lot of interesting moments that talk about power and responsibility of being Jericho’s leader and how Markus is grappling with that and the overwhelming weight of it all that I really enjoy (also jesse williams…….has no right being that gorgeous)

Alright I think I might have answered this WAY too thoroughly lmao im sorry anon, i PERHAPS get way too passionate about these characters, so this is my two cents!!!! I mean tbh I really love all of the characters minus like….Leo and Todd so it’s truly hard for me to focus on just a couple characters because i wanna talk about why i love ALL of them (despite the…..poor writing sometimes attached to them that I again blame david cage for) so thank you for this question!!!! This was super fun to answer ^^

[pinkykitten]

Tattoos

Detroit: Become Human

Markus x tattooed! female reader

Warning: reader feeling self conscious 

Specifics: angst, romance, fluff, tattooed reader, pictures, one-shot, race neutral reader

People: Markus, you, Carl Manfred

Words: 1,042

Requested: By anonymously Hey, could you do a one shot with Markus from dbh where the reader is Carl’s niece or smth, and often visits him? I was thinking she could always be wearing turtlenecks and long pants, even in super hot weather. Markus never knew why, until one day she shows up in shorts and a t-shirt and is covered in tattoos from her neck to her feet?? Markus is like “w o w” and he gets a huge crush on her and it ends with cute fluff?

Authors Note: i hope i did him justice im srry if this came out CRAP but i kinda had writers block writing this. i added some pics in here to give u guys visuals. i hope this turned out all right, im srry it took so long i am almost finished with all my requests so stay tuned fam for when i open requests again! thnx for requesting anon and hope u like! 

“Uncle Carl how are you feeling today?” You ask taking a seat next to the bed of your uncle’s.

Funny enough you felt you were more close to Carl than say even your father you both sharing a bond. Your uncle was everything to you. 

Carl chuckled and leaned his head against the pillows, “dear, it is the same as always. Also why are you wearing a turtle neck and some long pants, its like 80 in here!”

Suddenly, Markus walked in, wanting to get Carl out of bed and to start the day. You always made sure to come early in the morning, sometimes even before Carl woke up. You wanted to spend every little minute with him. 

“Markus takes very good care of me. Without him I’d be lost.”

You peered up to see the android smiling lightly but as he saw your expression his face turned back to stoic. 

“Yes, Markus does take great care of you, I am forever grateful to him.” You stand up and fix your clothes. Markus’s eyes turn to your clothing and he looks concerned. You quickly pat Markus on the shoulder, “thank you Markus. Uncle I’m gonna wait downstairs for you, I brought some groceries maybe we can share a meal together!”

You ran down the stairs not wanting any confrontation. 

After eating and enjoying breakfast you go and wash the dishes. 

“I do not want to be rude, but you do realize I am the one who is supposed to do that.” Markus stood next to you. 

“Well take a break.”

Markus stood there like a stiff log with such a serious face.

You look him over and shake your head, “that let me tell you is not taking a break.”

Markus stood closer to you. His presence making you lose focus on what you were doing that your hands slip on a plate and the plate drops on the floor. You quickly get the pieces and one of the shards cuts your skin making it bleed. 

“Is everything alright dear?” Called your uncle, rolling to you.

“Oh its nothing its just a cut.” You wince touching it making it bleed more. 

“Markus, go help her out with that.”

Markus grabbed your other hand and led you to where Carl does his art. He brought out the first aid kit and tended to your wound. 

“This may hurt,” Markus touched the cut and you wince lightly, biting your lips to stop the cry. Then the pain goes away and instead it is replaced with soft, comforting hand. His hand lingers on yours for just a moment, making you feel sparks fly. 

You smile to Markus as he is putting a wrap around it, “Thank you Markus.”

“I don’t want to intrude or anything buy may I ask, why are you wearing that y/n?”

You turn around to look at yourself in the mirror. 

Of course you looked ridiculous and of course you were hot but you couldn’t reveal what was hidden under the clothes. 

You stare longer into the mirror, feeling self conscious with yourself. You wrap your arms around your waist and Markus comes up behind you to place a reassuring hand on your shoulder. 

“Y/n whatever you are hiding under there would not make you less beautiful.”

You shake your head back and forth and tears start to come out. 

“No I can’t show you, you would think of me badly. Everyone does when they get a look at me. I don’t want you to stop tending to my uncle or to stop talking to me.”

You wipe your tears away and grab your bag swiftly, saying goodbye to Markus. 

“Hey uncle I got to go, I just forgot I have to do something.”

Out the door you left. Leaving Markus questioning. 

“Uncle Carl is Markus there?” You asked over the phone the next day. 

“No why? Y/n you’re starting to sound real strange you know that. Wearing that outfit, and then Markus said you stormed out because you were crying, whats up with all that?”

Your leg bounced up and down, your hands rubbing your temple. “Uncle I’ll tell you when I get there.”

You walked up the stairs to your uncle’s room and sat by him. 

“See now that outfit’s better.”

Looking down to your hands tears appeared again. Carl was concerned and held your hands, “whats wrong my dear? Y/n tell me!”

“I hate the way I look!”

Your secret was about your tattoos, your tattoos covered your whole body. 

The only person who knew was your uncle and he didn’t mind since he had a couple himself. But you didn’t want to show them to Markus, not to someone who is so important to you. Every time you showed them to any one or to any android they would either become afraid or become disgusted. 

“I don’t want to be weird anymore. I don’t want Markus to not like me and then turn you away. I just wish people were more understanding.”

“I think you look beautiful.” Said a new voice, turning to the door you spot Markus. Feeling self conscious you try to cover up and go out the door. 

“This was a mistake,” you uttered, trying to leave. 

“Y/n, y/n please do not leave.” Called Markus, heading down the stairs. 

“What do you want Markus? You want to tell me how ugly I am?”

Markus face softened, “Y/n all those things you said about yourself are not true. I could never be afraid or disgusted by you. I believe your tattoos actually make you look-”

You came closer, innocence playing on your face, “yes?”

“I feel that these markings make you look...sexy.”

You chuckled, not knowing androids could say that. “Thank you Markus.”

Markus took a hold of your hand. “Y/n, you are beautiful just the way you are, and I would never want to change you, or for you to change.”

You smiled feeling loved and appreciated. 

“For gods sake just ask her out Markus!” 

You and Markus both look at the top of the stairs to see who said that. 

“Uncle!” You shouted, feeling bashful. 

“Its the truth!” 

“Gotta love him,” you whispered to Markus. 

Markus chuckled, lacing his fingers with yours. 

[punkscowardschampions]

Carly & Ali

Carly: 😢💔 Carly: treats not tricks Ali: Baby Ali: You can't say seeing Drew shit himself was anything but a 🍬 Carly: ha Carly: hide & seek? Carly: goldie's gonna b too sad to play unless ur sister steps up her comforting tho Ali: fun Ali: or manhunt Ali: and not a fate I'd wish on anyone, that Ali: he can be on our team, stop him pouting too hard Carly: let him hunt u & he couldn't be happier Carly: even if i offered to take off clothes each time i got found Carly: but you want his boy bestie to find you yea Ali: so telling Ali: Lene would have a field-day Ali: ain't no one's prey, baby Carly: nah hes urs Carly: sweet enough to eat Ali: nah Ali: no one's sweeter than you 🍓🍯 Carly: aw Carly: 🐅💙 Ali: I mean it Ali: you be captain, you pick Carly: cos u havent tasted him yet Carly: u pick & then tell me whos sweetest after Ali: do you want me to or don't you Carly: u wanna Carly: he does Ali: I'm asking what you want, though Carly: i want you to have fun Ali: I am Ali: with you Ali: you don't need to worry Carly: its k & so am i Ali: promise? Carly: ur cute & u dont need to worry Carly: hes just a lad Ali: I know he is Ali: like I knew he'd be a good fit for this trip, that's all Carly: idc if u wanna fuck him on this trip or when we get back is what i mean Carly: u can like him if you don't like him as much as me Ali: I don't like anyone as much as I like you, Carls Carly: is that a truth or a dare? Ali: it's the truth Ali: I don't need to be dared into nothing Ali: I want you Carly: u wanna make me cry i reckon Carly: being 👼 Ali: not even Ali: like you said, if either of us wanted to go there with anyone else, it's a bridge we'd cross as and when Ali: I'm not gonna do anything behind your back, trust me Carly: u don't have to Carly: u can do anything u want Carly: not ur ex Carly: cute as she is its v intense Carly: im letting ur wings stay open Ali: you don't have to be the anti-her, you know Ali: just be you Ali: I care about you, what you want and what you think, just tell me that always Carly: ha what would the anti her b? Carly: ur sister mayb Carly: or drews Ali: either way Ali: not what I'm after Ali: 😬 Carly: idk drews sister is cute Carly: & hed b so mad about it Ali: world's most confusing boner, you mean Carly: 😂 Ali: not looking to blow either of their minds Ali: again, in his case, of course Carly: he's the cutest when he don't know what's happening Carly: like a baby 🐕 Ali: if I was being a bitch I'd say that was always Ali: but I've already wounded his ego too much today Ali: bless him Carly: ha Carly: never heard a boy scream w out being touched Carly: learning things this trip Ali: 😂 Ali: stick with me, babe Carly: 🏫 Ali: not 'til Monday Ali: 👎 Carly: im not gonna go Carly: say it was 👽 Carly: snatched for being this sexy soz Ali: good thinkin' Ali: if they're too squeamish to ask about sickness and diarrhoea, they ain't gonna deepdive into probing, like Carly: or 👻have taken over my body Carly: brb after the exorcism 😈 Ali: shame we ain't kicking it catholic Ali: they'd do it for the fun of, beats a normal day of Carly: @ my gma Carly: shes 😢💔 i dont want jesus inside me Carly: he's too nice like Carly: not my type Ali: could always go for Judas Ali: #hotfriend Carly: o true Ali: plus Iscariot is an amazing last name so Carly: baby we gotta get divorced rn Ali: 💔 Carly: dont b sad Carly: ill b back w a great name u can take Ali: hold you to that, girl 💍⛓ Carly: u can Carly: i love u more than any biblical figures Ali: even Mary Magdalene? 😍😍😍 Carly: dont tell her Ali: keep it between you and me Carly: 💙👼 Ali: you're so cute Carly: you're cuter Ali: nope Ali: I 👑 you the cutest Carly: aw Carly: if it goes to a vote youll win tho Ali: nah Carly: yea Carly: ur sister & ex dont like me Carly: the boys like u more Ali: they ain't got the good taste I do Carly: thats putting yourself down! Carly: they all love u Ali: but I love you Carly: i love u Ali: let's go be alone Carly: yea Carly: shoo the 👻s away for us baby Ali: 🔫🔫🔫 Carly: my hero Ali: you know it Ali: not to be my ex about it either Carly: she did rescue me too first night ever Carly: & shes not that bad Ali: 😒 why don't you marry her Ali: 😉 Carly: too straight Ali: 😂 Ali: we'll show her how straight you are Carly: she invited now? k then Ali: maybe not SEE then Ali: hear Carly: if she hears they all will Carly: sure u want that? Ali: let's deliberate Carly: what does that mean? Ali: that we're gonna start and then I'll see how I'm feeling Carly: o Carly: thats a dare isnt it Ali: if you're up to it, baby Carly: u kno i am Carly: & i can make u be louder than me Carly: if u wanna double dare it Ali: you know I do Carly: yea Carly: i can 👀 Carly: ur eyes r really blue & ur cute face is really pink Ali: it's the 🔥 Carly: nah its me Carly: hotter Ali: not gonna disagree Carly: not what i want u to say Ali: go on then, you 👀 Ali: what do you wanna 👂 Carly: more fun to make it happen Carly: if i tell u course youll say it to be sweet to me Ali: okay, let's play then Carly: where? Ali: don't think we'll be able to stop Marlene coming through if we desecrate her car so Carly: so cute Carly: take our chances w the dead then Ali: you aren't scared anymore, are you? Carly: ive got u to protect me y would i b Ali: and I swear, all treats Ali: or you know, the fun kind of tricks only Carly: ive missed u so much Carly: ur here i kno but scooby gang r too Carly: & yea drews the 🐕 Ali: 😂 omg too real 'cos Caleb is clearly Shaggy Ali: you can be Daphne, babe, I'll allow it Ali: but we can be alone all day Monday, yeah, I promise Carly: which 1 is the hot nerd cuz if its ur sister thats awks boo Carly: soz she loves me if she's the scarf wearing fashionista still tho Carly: ur ex coulda got away w it if it weren't for us pesky kids 😠 Ali: we'll let Meena and her duke it out who wants to be who Ali: I'll have to be Scrappy and I'm not even mad tbh Carly: aw ur that cute Ali: 🥊 Carly: thats y id go anywhere w you even ur exs car Carly: so safe w my baby Ali: always boo Ali: I've got you Carly: hold my hand not cuz im scared Carly: dont let go til u have to Ali: that's a challenge isn't it Carly: if it feels like 1 ill have to b that bitch & throw ur 💍 @ u Ali: 😂 Ali: you know how holdable you are Carly: dont leave me yet k Carly: its so loud in my 🧠 & 💙 how much i dont want u too Ali: I'm not leaving you ever Carly: im not saying u gotta promise me so hard Ali: but I am Ali: 'cos I'm not Ali: I love you now, no matter what Ali: I'm gonna be here for you Carly: i kno u mean it Carly: ur 👼 energy is always around me now Carly: but he's a nice lad who likes u thats not coming around much so don't forget Ali: I'll try not to take that personally, babe 😜 Ali: but I know what you mean Carly: do u cuz being w u is like its still summer @ a party where pretty girls keep telling u ur pretty & the lads who r rides wanna get u drinks & u kno every song thats playing Carly: like being high but w out chasing it or any of the shit u have to do to get 💊 Carly: & it lasts the comedown dont get u Carly: idk its hard to explain cept ive never met anyone like u cuz there isnt Carly: but theres girls & lads same as me everywhere Ali: baby Ali: that isn't true and you've given the proof right there Ali: you've got a poet's soul Ali: you're so special and you don't even know it Ali: that makes you more Carly: ur really magic Carly: im sorry Carly: dont b mad at me Carly: or sad Ali: I'm not Ali: why would I be Ali: like ever Ali: but especially right now Carly: idk Carly: i wasn't ur go to girl for pranking every1 Ali: not because you did something wrong Ali: not because of anything Ali: if I thought about it at all I was just trying to involve everyone, you know Ali: make sure everyone's having a good time Carly: jk 👼 baby i kno ur intentions r pure 💙 Carly: y ur 👑 leader Ali: okay you got me back then Ali: 💚 Carly: ha im full of tricks & treats Ali: 😏 come show me Carly: k