#and then acts aggressively straight

[nururu]

Zoro getting curved and then promptly falling asleep.

[lemm-moxx]

Ik ik i need to post non oc stuff but like bell 🥺

[isbergillustration]

I feel like absolute garbage today so no new art (sorry to the peeps whose commissions i promised to do today) but here is an update on this thing. Amputated part of its waist which is good, glued its legs on back to front which is. Unfortunate.

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.

I don't have external meltdowns.

I could. I don't let it happen.

I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.

So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.

She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.

Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].

It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.

They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.

I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.

I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.

I couldn't understand what made her like this.

But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.

If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.

And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*

And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?

My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.

Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???

And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.

I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*

She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.

I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.

So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.

But I told her hundreds of times.

I probably should have just screamed at her.

[madforhoran]

5 minutes of silence to all the AA girlies. They do NOT like the new AA kisses and the face Tav makes.

AA stans: the degrading was so obviously about him thinking he’s not good enough still and Tav is lowering their standards to be with him 😭🫶🏻

*Larian finally properly shows what it is*

AA stans:

[happyk44]

Macaria: Dad, why is that lady so big?

Hades: Oh, she's pregnant. She's got a little baby in her womb. She's so big because she's likely close to giving birth soon.

Macaria: But I thought babies were out of dessicated souls, the dirt of the underworld, and a little bit of river water.

Hades: No, Mac, that's just how you were born. And that was technically an accident because I had no idea that was even going to happen.

Hades: But most babies, especially mortal babies, are made inside their mothers. First a couple will have sex, then the baby will come to grow inside their mother for a few months. Then their mothers give birth, and when they take their first breath, their soul blooms. It's a tiny feathery thing at first, but it will grow strong and big as time goes on and they experience more and more of the world.

Macaria: So the mothers make the life inside of them?

Hades: Essentially, yeah, but the baby isn't truly alive until the soul forms, which only comes at first breath. Sometimes second breath, if the first one had some issues. A couple times it was the third breath.

Macaria:

Macaria: That's disgusting, I don't want to do that.

Hades: What?

Macaria: I do not want to make a living thing inside my body. If I have a baby, someone else is going to do that for me, or I'm going to go fish desiccated souls out of the river and put them on a mound of dirt and make one that way, just like you did, but on purpose.

Hades: That's very fair, Mac. I don't have understand the appeal either. I mean, I know it's their only avenue to creating children, but why do they always look so pleased about it? It's weird. Making a life is weird.

Macaria: Yeah, but you still have to do it.

Hades: I don't have a womb, Mac.

Macaria: You can make one! Or find someone with one and get them pregnant.

Hades: You just said-

Macaria: I meant for me, not for you! I want siblings, and if it's this easy to make a baby, I don't know why you haven't given them to me yet!

[allamericansbitch]

word of mouth isnt facts babes, especially when it's from a blog that literally got caught being wrong about me before

[girlbob-boypants]

Books that get their fame from getting hyped up on booktok *do* have a reputation for being bad. But it's not...unwarranted

[bluebirdcurse]

"What is it about me that made you think you couldn't tell me" idk man maybe he had a vision where you found out and were actively hostile to the point you wouldn't look at him or shake his hand? Like maybe he thought that was a possibility

[reserwrekt]

I do not have to tolerate people's toxicity, how are we back to trying to normalize that?

[jlf23tumble]

Do you think the German boy has signed an NDA? Because fans were bombarding him on twitter about Harry last year and he said that Harry isn't gay, and that they were just kids and chilled out together and nothing happened between them. I don't believe him at all lol for many reasons, including Louis' comment in that interview 'Harry learned to score a German'. Also the amount of times Harry keeps bringing him up. I'd bet he was his sexual awakening lol. But I just wondered why he had to lie? Maybe he panicked? Fans were really on his back lol. I wish he never said it because the gold stars use it as 'proof' that Louis is the only one Harry has ever slept with lmao.

Well, two things, one, you answered your own question ("I just wondered why he had to lie? Maybe he panicked? Fans were really on his back lol." ...which, duh, why would he NOT shut it down and get people off his back? Why would he ENCOURAGE it? And I know most larries are actively trying to out both halves of larry, but I think the people they meet and form connections with probably are not), and two, Timo doesn't owe anyone jackshit, let alone "the truth." I wanna gouge my own eyes out when anyone says their fave (or people in their fave's friend/family circle) "lied" to them...like, I'm sorry people are reading a parasocial relationship as if it's a real one in which you are somehow owed the truth, but trust me, it doesn't count and you are not

[maxthesillyy]

too much rachel acting like a goddess. not enough rachel acting like a popular girl.

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

Of my 2% capacity to be attracted to anyone, my type is like 90% women, 5% pretty men and 5% men you would swear are super fucking manly, and never questioned being straight and cis, but are now suddenly *stressed* that they can't figure out why their attraction to me [fully socially interpreted as a woman and labelled that way up until relatively recently] feels incredibly fucking gay

[rxkuyo]

love people who are like 'can't wait for it to be spring' like you do realize that we've been having spring for the past 1½ months right ? it practically came right after fall my guy like we've had about 9 days of winter back in december and yet here you are. complaining. get a reality check mayhaps idk

[supermaks]

this is just my opinion but I feel like you come across as very aggressive and it's hard to tell when you're serious and when you're joking maybe you could start using tone indicators to avoid the constant drama 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Okay

[macaronitrash]

I always run into strong women who are looking for weak men to dominate them.

— Andy Warhol