#and then a picture of her silly selfie with SAME edited on it

[nkirukaj]

The Radio Demon & the Billboard Doe (6)

Pairing: Alastor x Fem! OC

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: Angst/Fluff (& Humor!)

Word Count: 2.7K

<Chapter 5

6. Ducky

“Okay, so is it true that your birthday is October 31st?” she asks

“Haha, no.”

“Really? When is it then?”

He puts his finger to his chin “Nobody was really keeping time when I was created, so I’m not really sure.” He grins at her “I was never ‘born’ either, so it’s a bit of a moot point. When’s your birthday?”

“November 1st,” she answers “I was born in 1996.”

“Wait, what year is it on Earth?”

“Well, it was 2024 when I died so…”

“Golly! That’s it? It feels like it’s been an eternity!”

“Well, that is an eternity to us!” Voe laughs

She had been spending a bit of time with Lucifer since he had consoled her the week before. She was in his tower now, just getting to know him a bit better, trading information about each other.

“Is your hat your crown?”

He glances back at his top hat on the desk “Yeah, kind of. It has a crown in it.”

She gets giddy “Can I wear it?”

“Sure!’ He hands it to her and she squeals all excited

She takes the hat and places it on her head, taking selfies with it on.

“You wanna take a picture?”

“You want to take a picture? With me?” he seems shocked and caught a bit off guard

“Fuck yeah! Come here!” she reaches for him and he comes into the frame of her camera “Okay let’s do silly faces.” They make funny eyes and stick their tongues out, laughing at themselves the whole time

“Can we do cutesy pictures?” He asks

“Of course King!” She presses her face against his face and they both do cute little smiles, he blows a raspberry against her cheek while she laughs when a knock is heard at the door

“Come in!” Lucifer calls

It’s Charlie. She comes in sounding bright as ever “Hey Dad I just wanted to see if you-“ She stops in her tracks, retreating into herself “Hey Voe.”

“Hey,” she waves at the Princess

Lucifer sits up straight “What did you need sweetie?”

“I just wanted to see if you wanted to hang out or talk, but I see that you’re busy so I’ll-“

“No no, me and Ducky were just finishing up.”

“Ducky?” Charlie questions while Lucifer blushes

Voe stands “That’s me. I suppose I can head out. Bye Luci,” she bats her lashes at him going to walk out “Oh!’ She takes the hat off of her head and hands it to Charlie “Put that back please?” exiting the room.

She takes the elevator down to the parlor, where Angel, Niffty, Husk, and Alastor are occupying the space. Occupying the same space, but all doing separate things. She heads over to Angel, who’s lying on the couch texting on his phone.

“Hiya,”

“‘Sup?”

“Just editing these pictures.”

“Don’t make ‘em too bright,”

She snorts “That’s a rookie’s mistake. I’m a pro.”

“Okay pro,” he smiles, his gold tooth shining in the parlor light “What’s the picture of?” She tilts her phone over to show him the photo “Is that Lucifer? When was you taking pics with the big dick in charge?”

Voe smirks “Just a few minutes ago, then Charlie came up and-“

“Interrupted you ‘bout to get dick from the big dick?”

Voe turns pinkish and pushes the spider “Uhh no!”

“Mhmm, I know how you get down dollface.”

Niffty crawls into her lap “Can I see Mommy?”

Angel raises his brow, Voe whispers “I don’t know, she just started calling me that.” She puts the phone in front of Niffty

“Ooo, look at his claws! *Rawr*” Niffty bares her little claws

“Real close to your neck toots” 

“Okay, it’s not even all that.” Voe rolls her eyes

Angel seems very unconvinced, pursing his lips and squinting his eyes.

She turns to the kitchen where Alastor is focused on yet another meal “What you cookin’ today Bucky?”

“Something casual,” Alastor responds “Just spaghetti.”

“Better not be breaking the noodles,” Angel says vaguely threatening

“What’s wrong with breaking the noodles?” she asked him, now rubbing Niffty’s hair.

Angel looks at her disgusted “Everything,”

“Such as?”

“I don’t even wanna talk about it,”

She shrugs “I just assumed you would break the noodles. Like, does everyone not break them?”

“I can’t believe this. W-what am I hearing?”

“You break the noodles Bucky?”

“Of course my dear.”

Angel covers his ears “I’m living in a hotel of heathens!”

Voe looks around “Everyone I’ve ever known or seen cook spaghetti has broken the noodles. I mean, how else would you fit them in the pot?”

“You’re supposed to boil the bottom and then push the rest in!”

“How do you know when to do that?”

“You keep watching it!” Angel curls up into a ball “This conversation is painful!”

Voe shrugs “Maybe it’s just a Black person thing.” She turns around toward Alastor “Are you Black?” Voe asked the Radio Demon, getting microphone feedback in response. The others stare at her “What?”

“Hey! How would you feel if someone asked you if you were Black?” Angel chimed in 

“I’d feel fine, and I’d answer. Because I am Black.”

“Really? I thought you were Italian like me.”

“Okay, first me being Italian would not preclude me from being Black, and second, why does everyone think I’m Italian?” she pinches her fingers together

“First of all, your hand gestures, second of all your accent.” “I’m just from New York!”

“Hey me too!”

“That doesn’t matter!” She turns back to Alastor “Are you Black?”

Alastor’s brain doesn’t know how to process that question, so he is frozen in place while Voe sits and waits for an answer.

“Hey.” She goes up to him to make sure he hears her. “Are you?”

He turns to face her, his smile static and unnerving “Why?” his eyelid is twitching

“Well, you’re a Louisiana boy, and you said that your mom made that jambalaya recipe, and you speak French. And also you break the noodles”

“So?” Angel asked from the couch

Voe turns to acknowledge him “So…that sounds like a recipe for a Creole.” She turns back to Alastor “Are you?”

“N-no,” he lies

Voe watches him for a few moments after he answers. She does not believe him but does not press him, as she can finally sense his unease with the question, and decides to get more information later.

_____________________________________________________

“So what exactly does it mean to be an Overlord?”

Voe stood in the parlor in front of her mounted smartphone and waited for the audience to give her responses.

be a bad bitch

be Bomb

be powerfll

“Well, that can’t be it. ‘Cuz if that was it, I’d already be one!” She tosses her hair back over her shoulder.

the Vs are overlords

yeah!!

true true

“Oh, they are, are they?” Voe strokes her chin with her index finger “But like, what does that mean?”

being an overlord is about owning souls mamas

“Owning souls? Is that why Velvette asked me to sign away ownership of mine?”

you work for velvette???? no wayyyy

i wish she owned my soul :(

tbh i’d give you my soul if you asked

“Wait,” she acknowledges the last comment “You’d give me your soul? Just like that? You wouldn’t want anything for it?”

hell yea!

fuck yes

i’d get to see that ass evryday that’s enuf for me

Voe ponders a bit more “Wait, so how many of you would want me to own you if I was an Overlord?”

Lots of commenters sent in hand emojis, indicating that they would want to be owned by her. She smirked at the thought of gaining that kind of power.

back in the day you had to kill other overlords

that’s what the radio demon did

he was killin’ all them bitches!

“So, Alastor is an Overlord?” She leans into the camera to read the comments

yeah!

he’s like the most powerful one

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

that’s debatable

i think the vees are btter tbh

“Okay, you guy’s spelling mistakes are driving me mad!” she huffs in frustration

BITCH GOT HIS ASS KICKED :P

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

REMEMBER THAT SHIT???

YOOOOOOOO

“What are you talking about?” She asked the live

yooo she got here after the whole shit with extermination day!!

“Extermination day?? What the fuck?! Explain, now”

 BASICALLY EXTERMINATION DAY IS WHEN HEAVEN COMES DOWN AND KILLS US LIKE EVERY YEAR, SO WE DON’T LIKE OVERPOPULAT E OR WHATEVER

AND LAST EXTERMINATION DYA RADIO DEMON FOUGHT THE LEADER OF THE ANGELS

adam

YEA ADAM

and adam kicked his ass

HE RAN AWAY LIKE A PUSSY

“Um, ew gendered language. And oh, this is not something I knew. I love all the tea being spilled tonight.” She pretends to drink from a teacup

NAH HE WEAK FR

tbh you could prolly kick his pussy ass

“Well, I don’t wanna fight him. I don’t really fight men.” she leans back from the camera “I destroy them from the inside.” she clenches her fist with evil intent in her eyes. “Wait, if he’s an Overlord though, does that mean he owns souls?”

FUCK YEAH

he owns mad souls

HIS BITCH ASS OWNS ME

Voe sits and ponders this new information. If Alastor is an Overlord and had this much power at his disposal, why was she given so much leeway? 

“Does he get like really rampage-y when he’s mad?”

hell yeah

can’t believe you’ve been there all this time and haven’t heard all this stuff

THIS BITCH BEEN UNDER A ROCK

he use to rip peoples souls apart and put them on his radio broadcast

“Ohhh, that’s why he’s called the Radio Demon.  Okay, that makes way more sense, because I deadass thought it was because y’all knew man’s was obsessed with radio and old 1920s-looking shit and I’m like how did y’all figure that out? Like, did he tell y’all that? Like why would he tell y’all that?”

wait wym girl??

nah do tell

1920s shit like what??

“Oh, like obviously he’s obsessed with radios, but like he won’t let Charlie update the TV, even though he’s not the one that has to watch it. I’m like ‘Girl stand up for yourself!’, but she don’t. He also gets mad when he sees other people using their phones. Like, how you mad that other people are enjoying tech after 1930? Like, we not making you use it. And he still looks at me sideways when I talk about being an influencer. He told me ‘that’s not a real thing’, like obvi, it is!” She starts laughing as she remembers something “BRUH, guys like a few weeks ago, he saw my speaker, which looks like this,” she lifts her speaker into the camera “ and was like ‘that’s not a speaker, it is a box with small holes in it.’ and I’m like ‘no???’ and I stood there and explained to this GROWN ASS MAN how Bluetooth works, and when I was done, he looked at me like this.” She tilts her head to the side and opens her eyes wide to an exaggerated degree, to look stupid “like his brain didn’t work or something” She starts cackling and clapping at how amused she is with herself.

girl

GIRL

oooo you in trouble lmao

BITCH WATCH OUT!

NAH WE BOUT TO SEE THE TUMBLE OF THE CENTURY XD

“Hmm?” her laughter dies down, she raises a brow “What?”

Alastor clears his throat behind her, and she turns to meet his gaze. “If you have something to say, my dear, say it to me. Not to your little ‘fans’ on your little picture box.”

“Well, the thing I’m recounting was a conversation we had, so it’s not like you were unaware of it. Or did you forget?” She crosses her arms “Fossil,”

Alastor widens his eyes, surprised at her boldness, given the things he knew about her. This was the direction she wanted to take their relationship in? After the things he’d seen? 

“My dear, did we forget your bout of tears because I did not want you touching me?”

A blush rises up her neck “I told you I wasn’t crying. And that’s not even why I was upset.”

“Really? And why were you so upset? Apparently, you cried to Lucifer? Or so I’ve heard.”

“I was upset because you’re an ass, and I didn’t cry to Lucifer. He just happened to be there. Why does it matter to you anyway? Why are you keeping tabs on me? Why do you need to know what I’m up to and who I’m with hmm?”

“Why do you need to talk about me?”

“I don’t. My viewers just brought you up, and I told them something that I thought was funny. You can relax Bucky, you are not the center of the universe.”

Alastor looks at her full of condescension, and dissipates into shadows. Voe turns back to her still going live. “Yeah, trot along deer boy.”

girl i was already planning your funeral

I THOUGHT WE WAS GONNA LOSE U :’(

see? pussy

“Okay, I’m still not liking the gendered language,” she speaks to the screen

____________________________________________________

“Who is it?”

“It’s me!” Voe opens the door, leaning in “Ducky,” she bites her lip, teasing him before entering

Lucifer slaps his forehead “I cannot believe I said that in front of Charlie.”

“Me either, but I’m owning it. I’m a cute little duckling.” She laughs sitting down next to him “What’s up on the agenda Your Majesty?’

“I told you, you can just call me Lucifer,” his eyes are kind and soft

“I know, but I like the power dynamics involved.” she makes her eyes seductive

Lucifer’s neck turns red and he loosens his tie slightly “I’m just sorting all my rubber ducks.” he tells her

“Hmm,” She reaches over him for his top hat, and the blush rises further up his throat. She places the hat on her head “I love this thing,” 

He stares at her and sighs, smiling. He blinks regaining his thoughts “Did you want to see them?”

“The ducks? Sure!”

He gestures to his creations, she starts touching them. He clears his throat “I saw your live by the way. Good job, standing up for yourself,”

Voe widens her eyes “The King of Hell watched my live?”

He laughs “Yeah! I’ve been watching them since I met you!”

“Wow, I am honored!” She smiles really big and it’s sweet

“Oh c’mon, it’s not anything more special than us sitting here and talking.”

“I’m honored for that too.”

He waves her off “It’s nothing.”

“No,” she touches his hand “I really am honored. I’m being serious. You’re the King of Hell, who knows what important stuff you have to be doing. Including making these ducks! But you took the time to console me when I was upset. I mean, I’m pretty important, but compared to a King? It really means a lot to me. Thank you.”

Lucifer’s eyes are watery while listening to her, but he scrambles to hide it when she looks back up at him

“Is this a Charlie duck?” She holds up one that looks like his daughter

He blushes “Um, yeah. I made it for her, but haven’t found the right time to give it to her.”

She looks through them further “And Vaggie!”

Lucifer mumbles under his breath “Oh, Vaggie”

“Here’s Niffty, and Husker, How did you make one of Angel? And-“ she looks back at Lucifer with wide eyes and a laugh dancing on her lips “Is this Alastor?”

Lucifer’s blush takes over his whole face “I make them when I’m feeling intense emotion.”

“Wow, I’ve never seen a rubber duck look murderous before. Oh-“ she picks up a little stick “Is this its tiny cane?” She laughs in delight “These are amazing. You have to make me one, please. I will pay you.”

“Oh no no no, definitely not. If I make you one, it’s on the house.”

She moves closer “Not if Lucifer, when. You are going to make me a rubber duck that looks like me.” She walks her fingers up his chest and pulls on his bowtie “Understand?”

He swallows “Yes ma’am.”

“That’s right, be a good boy for Ducky.” she winks

A/N: Hey! Here to remind you to PLEASE comment when you're done reading! Comment and reblog to let me (the author) know how much you liked it! Thanks, and have a great day!

Chapter 7>

[yourkimjaejin]

My Favorite Juno Moments of 2022

from r/hotsauceinmybag posted Jan 10, 2023

Hi Liberties. Today, as the year comes to a close, I want to take a moment to reflect on the top five moments from my AG bias Juno (at this point she's my ult but I'm still in denial sue me) this year. I made this post cause i think Juno had some cute moment with her members this but I didn't see anyone talking about them so I fixed it! Enjoy!!

Number 5 - Juno and Haruto

This was random and just like Juno to confirm this in the most unofficial way possible

At MAMA day 1, fans in attendance caught Juno and Haurto hugging during Treasure’s Rap line performance of VolKNo. Teumae and Czennie alike were puzzled about the odd pair(more so than the talkative pairing of YG!Doyoung and Aurora).

According to one of my Teumae friends, Haruto barely leaves the dorm without Jeongwoo, Jaehyuk and Asahi. When could he have even met Juno?

Juno has like fifteen bodyguards no including her members

Everyone’s questions were answered when Juno hopped on bubble a couple days after the show and posted a picture of herself, her brother(with his face covered) and Haruto posed together with the response

My brother and I finally saw our cousin after a long time. He’s grown so much! I’m proud of him!! Hwaiting Treasure!!

Any dating rumors were debunked as quickly as they came up. Days after, SM and YG both gave official statements for anyone who didn’t believe Juno’s word.

Number 4 - Juno claiming Taeyong’s closest for herself

Juno loves to frequent vlive, or now insta live, when she's bored. The lives usually amount to Juno doing something stupid in order to make the fans happy. That's actually how her mukbang streams start. A fan suggested ordering her favorite foods and recording it. Juno’s always down to do silly challenges for fans because quote a bitch ain’t never scared unquote. 

In April, Juno did a vlive asking fans for suggestions on something she could do tomorrow on her day off. Juno even made her manager hold her to the promise.

“Raid Taeyong’s closet, OOOO!!! This is the one!”

Weeks later a video was uploaded to AG's channel where Juno walked into the 127 dorms and waltzed into Taeyong's room, opening his closet only to start throwing things around. In the background you can see Taeyong begin to question Juno’s actions but let it go (Even Taeyong know its better to not question any of Juno's actions). Juno paired a simple outfit together but she may have cheated a bit by using her own top but it was a look. Everyone agrees. 

Number 3 - Junwoo matching outfits

The friendship between Jungwoo and Juno is TOP TIER! They are the best friends that you question if they’re together or not. They flirt with each other soo much, it’s laughable how there's been no announcement of their relationship becoming official. Alas, JunWoo stans only have so many moments to live off of and when one happens it sends them. Like this one.

At the SMTown concert in Suwon, Jungwoo and Juno arrived at separate times. Immediately fans noticed that the two were matching, wearing black jeans, gray hoodies, black beanies and white converses. Edited pictures of the two together cropped up everywhere online. 

Later that night Juno updated her bubble with a selfie of the two in their matching outfits in one of the NCT green rooms

Me and Jungwoo planned this awhile ago

We wanted to arrive at the same time but AG had a earlier rehearsal time than 127

We’ll make plans to do this again. Don’t worry!

I really hope they follow through with a sequel cause they are so cute together I can't

Number 2 - Juno reacting to an old ice skating performance

For anyone who doesn’t know, Juno used to be a professional figure skater. She’s actually won four medals (three silver and one gold). 

This year was the seventh anniversary since she won her gold medal and to celebrate, Juno filmed a video of her and the AG members reacting to her gold winning performance. 

They could show the recording but the music couldn’t be used so the girls watched it without sound. Though, the nice AG editors used NCT music in the background.

Before they hit play, Juno told us the song she chose was No One by Aly & AJ. Which lead to a bunch of nctiy edits with the original song

During the video, Juno provided commentary on how she was feeling throughout the whole performance, why she chose certain moves and how she styled her own costume. 

Her performance was inspired by the movie Ice Princess. This movie, according to Juno’s mom, was the reason she wanted to become a figure skater in the first place. She even included a practical version of final move as the finish to her performance

In the video, Juno kind of trails off as tears form in her eyes. She just begins to watch her younger self. None of the girls notice until Moxy reaches over to just grips her hand. The two share a look, smile then Juno tucks herself into Moxy’s side

Like I'm so soft for Mono's relationship like they are each other ride-or-die.

Number 1 - Juno’s 2000’s Music Party

Juno did more vlive’s this year than any other (it's as if Juno needs her own NCT unit to be apart of huh SM??)

Out of all the live’s she did, this one has to be the best one.

Juno decided to present all their millennial fans with a nostalgia trip of the highest regard. She sang every disney channel song she could find on youtube and spotify. Juno started with Hannah Montana and followed the rabbit hole further and further. That alone was everything the fans could ask for. What happened next was even better. 

Slowly her other members stopped by promising to only stay a minute but the pull of nostalgia is too strong. 

Hannah was first. She was dropping food off for Juno but when the Lilo and Stitch theme song came on, she pulled up a chair to belt ALL THE LYRICS. 

Aurora came next only because she was in the building and heard Hannah and Juno losing their minds. Aurora sat in the back but when La La Land by Demi Lovato popped up, her eyes lit up. Hannah just handed over her karaoke mic and let Aurora sing with her whole chest. 

I mean I knew Aurora could sing but she SLAYYYED Demi's high note like it was nothing. I need SM to give her and Yuta a Rock duo concept

Lastly, Moxy actually popped into the chat to compliment her members. When asked where she was, Moxy sent “I’m with 127 practicing.” She promised to stop by after practice. 

Finally when she arrived, the other members just pushed a mic into her hand and proceeded to play EVERY SINGLE Cheetah Girls song. The live went an hour longer than it was supposed to. The girls kept begging to sing one more song before their manager could cut the live. 

AG decided to end the live by singing We’re All In This Together but This wouldn’t be AG if they just sang it. No, they took the camera and set it up in a nearby dance studio to do the full dance as well. Their manager made them finish up after the song was over. 

It was AG funnest live EVER. this live actually led to AGzen’s tweeting at Disney to get the girls on the channel in some capacity. 

Some highlights include: AG making Nothing’s Wrong With Me from Pixel Perfect their song, Hannah slipping Boyfriend from BTR into the playlist, Moxy sing That’s So Raven and the girls playing air instruments (a la Breakthrough promotions) while singing Breakthrough from Lemonade Mouth

Let me know some your favorite moments of Juno this year down below!!

______________________________________

u/BasicallyinLove - I don't blame Taeyong for letting Juno do what she wants. If it was me, I'd let her have my whole closet

u/It’sAllAboutFamily - I was there for the WHOLE millennial Disney live. Even past what op already said, my favorite moment has to be during a break the girls were taking during a slower song. Suddenly, Rotten To The Core from Descendants comes on and they all freak out which turns into them doing the choreo for the dance break. It was glorious

u/GottaCatchEmAll - I'm a Teumae and I stayed up for the mama performance. I had to wipe my eyes when HarNo hugged. I thought it was the sleep getting to me. But now we have another pair of famous siblings

u/LikeAPhantom - Why would you remind my of the ice skating performance video. I was sobbing for DAYSS!! You can tell Juno misses the ice. I hope one day she'll get back out there. Maybe for content

u/SpiritUnleashed - It's my own personal headcanon that Juno and Jungwoo ran the rookies after the og SM rookies debuted. Those mathcing outfits fed me for days.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Another Reddit post but this ones been in my drafts for awhile. Like since last year awhile. Hope you all enjoy. Have a great day!! ~ Author Izzy

Taglist: @alixnsuperstxr / @1-800-call-ria / @sophrodite / @sunflower-0180

[when-he-seesme-moved]

I have a confession that I know how your name is pronounced but every time I see it my brain just goes Soshun Mura-SAME as in the English word lmao

gffhd now all i can think about is this inside joke i have at my drama class with one of my really close friends,,

its just her saying ‘SAME” but dragged out with a lot of emphasis and i cant stop thinking about it and im laughingn n ow

soshun muraSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMEEEE

[dongsichenged]

hi everyone, there's been a lot of false information and missing information going around regarding the lucas situation. in this post, i'm going to be summarizing and translating the accusations against him. this isn't to assign blame or to say if the accusations are truthful or not, but i see a lot of people with inaccurate information

there were three girls who came out with statements against him. details on each under the cut:

op 1, korean, posted on twitter 8/23

this was the account that was swiftly debunked. if you see any posts with a photoshopped plane selfie, edited bubble voice messages, hotel dates that don't line up, or a picture of lucas's trinity ring, this is what those are referring to

link to translation thread here - i don't speak korean so i can't directly verify

summary: op said that after they broke up, lucas would ask her to buy him cigarettes and designer gifts as well as rent hotel rooms for him. she also claims that he gaslit her and cheated on her

op 2, chinese, posted on weibo 8/24, this isn't a direct translation of the entire post and chat conversations, but rather some highlights

she was a fan since summer of 2019. she first met him on december 2nd, 2019 at a beijing fansign. she left her weibo username in a letter to him and in the early hours of december 3rd (the night of the fansign), she got a DM from him

in this DM, he asked her to go to the hotel and meet up with him. at 3am, she went to the hotel room. he told OP that he gets a lot of letters, but only opened OP's and that he noticed her at previous fansigns and would keep the things she gave him.

she said it was her first time in this situation and he said it was also his first time

op asked him if he had DMed any other fans and he said there was only one other from china, but he didn't find them attractive so they only had a meal together

they hooked up, then he told her not to tell anybody and to delete the chat messages. he suggested that they could meet up again, but not to come to the airport because he's tired at the airport and never thinks the fans that meet him at the airport are attractive

OP went to a bangkok fansign but they didn't meet up. they did call each other, and lucas said that he had a bad predebut relationship so even though he liked OP, he didn't want to talk about being in a relationship

the next time was at a shenyang fansign, OP couldn't visit him because she was sick in her hotel room with a fever, but her friend said that he was contacting another chinese fan. after the event, he came to find her

(tw - unprotected sex) that time, they had unprotected sex. she asked him to put on a condom, but he refused to. he said that he hadn't had sex in almost a year. she asked him about the other chinese fan he contacted and he said that this was the fan from before that he had a meal with but didn't find attractive. he was scared that the company would find out and smoked an entire pack of cigarettes in 2 hours

(tw - mention of kris wu) he also told OP that as a trainee he'd go out and party a lot, but he thought people like kris wu were silly and were just in the company to play and never trained.

he said on his show in korea where he pretended to be a soldier, he felt it was too tiring and pretended to have back pain to leave the filming sooner. he complained that chinese variety shows edited him to make him look dumb, so kept hesitating to join the next season.

before leaving to go overseas in feb 2020, he asked OP to just be friends, which she later found out to be his usual excuse.

if not for the first OP, she would have totally believed everything he told her, but now she realizes that she was played a fool

bonus about your fave - he uses secret weibo accounts to vote for himself in popularity polls

op 3, chinese, posted on weibo 8/24. this isn't a direct translation of the entire post and chat conversation, but rather some highlights

OP originally didn't want to come out with this, but after yesterday's posts, realized that she wasn't alone in her experiences with him and other girls had gone through the same things

he would badmouth and make up rumors about other girls just to appease the girl he's with

they first met at his schedule when she airdropped him a reaction image for fun.

he said he wanted to meet up somewhere alone with her. she asked if he had a girlfriend and he said no. she went to pick him up at his hotel and took him back to her house. the first thing he did was start smoking and then drinking.

lucas said that his best friend from trainee days was useless and that his group members don't listen to instructions, don't try hard, and don't practice. he said that one member stole a (modeling/fashion) opportunity from under his nose and that some people don't have any talent but still debut because of their face. he said he didn't like filming Keep Running because his industry seniors gave him a lot of pressure

he also started talking about his family's economic status and that his dad's investments failed. OP thought he was hardworking at first, but then realized that he was just making her feel sorry for him to pick her up

they would frequently see each other at her place, then she would call a car to send him back before his schedule the next morning

he would claim that he didn't bring enough clothes and tell OP to buy clothes for him and bring it to him. he always asked for saint laurent or balenciaga and that he didn't like burberry (the brand that he's an ambassador for)

afterwards, he would make up excuses not to meet. at the time she thought he was worried for her studies but now she realizes that he was actually seeing other people

he would ask if she had her own house and if she lived alone, etc. after confirming that she had a roommate, he stopped responding to her messages

in december, he used the excuse of being too busy as well as saying that they're friends and using that friendship to convince her not to expose anything when his group member was exposed to be contacting fans (t/n: i don't know what she's referring to here)

during the time they were meeting up, she repeatedly asked him if he had a girlfriend or was in contact with other girls. he always said no. he also claimed he never drank with another girl. at the time, she was naive and believed him, thinking that he was just looking for love. she didn't think that he would use his celebrity status and his fans' affection to fulfill his own needs, deceive others, flirting with others when he had a girlfriend

[miekasa]

AOT characters x their partner on social media is something I love thinking about omg. Eren is the number 1 menace, I swear, he likes keeping an aesthetic and he wants your face on his profile, and he wants to be in yours, and he will brainstorm for cool captions for you both 😭 Jean acts all shy, but that tall mf also lowkey feels the same way as Eren 😭. Mikasa is very relaxed and cute about it, she’s so effortless when it comes posting you on her feed, same with Sasha probably. Connie would post your funny faces 100% while Armin….blonde coconut I feel would be shy at first but is a fan of couple-y posts. Same with Erwin, and Erwin would add the cheesiest suburban dad captions like “my better half” or shit like “forever yours” 😭🥴😭 Hange is just all over, like they’ll be super unpredictable, from wildly funny to very touching stuff. Pick is just sweetness!! All around sweetness that can make you melt. Porco would be…actually I’m not sure, he seems like he’s in line with Eren and Jean 😭 Meanwhile, Levi would not care at all about social media announcements and “instagram official” and people outside his close circles find out about his partner on their tenth-year anniversary because they bumped into you both while you were out on a date 😭😭

No because you hit the nail on the head here anon!!

Eren and Connie are fiends and almost shameless in how much they want to be on your socials. If you do the thing where you record your food when you’re out to eat with Eren, he’ll interject into your video—“And me! She’s with me!! Show me!!” After some time—or if you tease him by purposefully leaving him out of the frame—he’ll just snatch your phone when you’re recording or taking pictures and makes sure to get himself with the front camera 😭😭 oh and you will be on his, it comes with the price of dating him, he loves posting videos that gradually zoom in on your face before you notice he’s recording.

Connie just photobombs everything. Even if just his eyebrows make in the frame, you better post it. He’s watching you. He loves taking funny selfies and posting them with absolutely no context, and videos too!! He reminds me of that TikTok of the guy who pans the camera to his gf laying in the grass is like, “We had a beach date, and, yeah I love her,” and pans the camera to his face, “I’m faster than her tho. We raced. But yeah, love her.”

Jean pretends like he doesn’t care if you don’t post him, but he cares 😭😭 he’s always willing to take a photo for you, but he wants to take them with you too!! He’ll not so subtly be like, “Hey, did you post those pics from the other day?” as a gentle “reminder,” and he’s honestly so cute you gotta give into him. He likes posting pics with you too, and claims he’s gotta keep it updated so he’s got something to show his mom—“She’ll think I’m making you up if I don’t have proof, babe.”

Armin gets nervous about posting you at first—the whole being publicly affectionate thing, plus the internet is forever, you know. But once he sees that he doesn’t necessarily have to post you guys holding hands or kissing all the time, he relaxes. Just a picture together, or a picture of you from one of your dates every once in a while is cool with him. He takes good candids and they’re his favorite to edit and make all pretty. He gets surprised whenever you post him, and he’s honestly not checking for it/on social media all that often, so he finds out through a friend like Sasha who’s bubbling, “Armin you guys are gonna make me jealous!! Your beach dates look so cute!!” And Armin’s a little confused, until she adds, “I saw the pictures on Insta!!” And now he’s slightly pink in the face.

Porco is… more likely than not recording you innocently vibing or minding your own business before he comes to bother you bye. He thinks your surprised face is so fucking funny and needs several video evidences of it. He gets grumpy when you get an off-guard of him, but just show it to him after and suddenly he’s like, “I look pretty good there, actually,” like yeah, dumbass, that was the point 🙄🙄 he posts his shit on Twitter tho, and is always acting like he doesn’t know you—“Girlfriend for sale, willing to trade for Breath of the Wild. At least $30 cash otherwise,” and thinks it’s funny when you threaten to block him. Or he’s subtweeting you when you CLEARLY follow him: “Anybody else know someone who falls asleep 30 mins into a drive?? No?? Just me??”

Erwin and his captions anon please I’m hollering. You know he uses the filters embedded into Instagram, too, and it makes some pics come out grainy/more dull. He comes questioning Hange with genuine curiosity, “How come your photos look so… bright? How do I do that?” Sir, open up VSCO and free yourself from the shackles of Sepia.

Levi could not care less about what and how much you post of him on social media, and his own is so scarcely updated; he really just has it so he’s not a complete ghost to the world, and to occasionally cure a fit of boredom. The pictures he posts are always nice tho, simple, cleanly edited and shot, and sometimes he’s not even in them. He doesn’t mind if you post him or not, but every once in a while he’ll stop by with a simple heart emoji in the comments. (To which Hange absolutely loses their shit every time and loves to joke about, “omgggggg are you and @leviackerman official???? 🤪🤪🤪)

Hange is the undisputed champion of photodumps and you cannot prove me wrong. Above all, they love posting a series of chaotic photos that tell a story—three slides dedicated to photos that caught you falling down; several photos back to back of you stuffing your face with food; frames of the both of you posing for a photo with the front timer but of course something made them topple over you. Their captions don’t help either, almost always unrelated from the disaster that just unfolded. Could have posted a photo dump of you two skipping (and falling) at the park and the caption is like “fun fact: a cockroach can survive up to five weeks with its head cut off!!” (The disconnect between the pics and captions always confuses Erwin. @e.smith: Very cool! But, what do roaches have to do with you guys looking like you broke your ankles? PS—is everybody okay?)

Mikasa is relaxed about posting you, and she lowkey really likes to be posted on your socials. She doesn’t say much about it, but she likes going back through your profile and looking and what you posted, and the comments from your guys’ friends being supportive. The pictures don’t necessarily spell out that you guys are Together, but that’s okay with her; she doesn’t need four pics of you guys kissing on her timeline to make her happy. She has lots of pictures she doesn’t post tho and you’d be shocked to find them, you gotta hype her up a bit to post them, “Mika you look hot here!!! The people need to see!!! Feed them!!!”

It comes naturally to Sasha, too. She likes documenting your dates with pictures and videos and has a blast editing them afterwards, too. Just AirDrop her the pictures you took and she’ll fix them up for both of you to post later. She’s a fan of silly matching captions and is always in your comments with a million emojis.

Pieck absolutely the sweetest girl. Her whole feed manages to naturally come out in soft filters and pastel colors. She always tells you she doesn’t have to edit a thing when you’re in the picture. Definitely posts photo dumps that include pics of food, sunrises, her cats, and a few off-guards of you thrown in there. Abuses the bugs and sparkly emojis in the captions.

Annie literally posts one pic a few months (by a few months, I mean like 11 months) into your relationship with the simple and upfront caption: “This is my girlfriend” and everyone is in the comments immediately bye. Berty is acting super surprised even tho he basically set you guys up, somehow Reiner genuinely didn’t know, and Sasha is clowning him for not catching on, and then he’s like “wait since when????? i thought they were just really good friends????” Mikasa comments a singular scissor emoji and it sends everyone into orbit, even Annie likes the comment.

[saetbyeol-moved]

@honnleathrose

​   things had been crazy, lately. his already busy schedule was just getting even busier as NO SPIN gained recognition across their borders, further, and further, until they were climbing charts even in places like the united states. their latest comeback had been their best one yet, millions were talking about it, in all the languages under the sun. it was invigorating, fuel to his endless need for validation and adoration.

   it also meant he had to travel more, and jiwoon had seen more places in the past few months than he’d seen in his entire lifetime. a particular one that stood out was a recent visit to the uk for an interview. the one conducting it was apparently a western social media star by the name of rosalie rutherford that was popular in english speaking regions. he had never heard of her before at the time, but that was no surprise, he didn’t really check out that sort of thing.

   he was the only one being interviewed, as the rest of NO SPIN didn’t really speak english well at all. ever since their international breakthrough, they had put him through some english classes to advance his vocabulary, so that as the lead of NO SPIN, he could represent them better. perhaps he would have felt nervous, as he was aware that despite those classes, his english wasn’t anywhere near that of a native speaker, but rosalie had an air about her that left you comfortable. the interview had felt easy, and he was given time if he needed a moment to either process the question or figure out how to say something  —  the magic of editing would take care of that. many questions passed by about their latest comeback, and even about how he had saved his bandmates from the fire, and he expected that one. it was always asked about, it was what had played a big part in them getting noticed more in the first place. his band persona had always been the tough looking guy with the soft heart, and now he had hero to tag onto that. that sold well, and young girls loved it.

   she was cute, he wasn’t blind, but there was definite chemistry between them as the interview carried on, a type of synergy he hadn’t experienced before today, and that was what really drew him in. he was certain everyone else in the room felt it too, and he hadn’t been wrong. his bandmates teased him relentlessly afterwards that he had a crush on the english girl. he let them have their fun, they weren’t wrong, but he wasn’t going to tell them that. one thing was incredibly clear to him, though: he had to have her.

   when everyone was asleep on the plane back to south korea, he had sent her a message on instagram from an alternate account. his management had access to his verified account, and he couldn’t risk that. she was confused at first, and even didn’t believe him, but after he sent her a selfie from the plane as well as an explanation why he wasn’t on his verified account; she did believe him.

   things spiralled from there. he messaged her every day. he quietly laughed at her jokes, sent her pictures and short videos of his rehearsals, dance and vocal practices, bored selfies, and she did the same thing of meals she was cooking, videos she was editing, or a cute dog she saw on the street today. sometimes he had to wait for hours because of the timezone difference, and people started to notice he looked at his phone too much. so sometimes, he would miss it when she was online, because he didn’t want to keep drawing attention to himself. sometimes, once he got home, he would spend a couple hours watching her videos and scrolling her social feeds before he would go to sleep.

   it wasn’t even that he couldn’t date, but mightee one entertainment was heavily against it, and it also usually gave idols negative press. he knew when he signed his contract, and he still knew today. single idols just make more money. but he couldn’t help it. he asked her out on a date when he knew what time he’d be back in the uk. he had researched for hours what good places to eat were in london where they let you in with casual clothing. he gave her a fair warning beforehand: he wasn’t allowed to date, so they couldn’t talk about it or walk around publicly, and that he would need to look like a douchebag wearing sunglasses in a restaurant. she still said yes.

   NO SPIN was on tour for their album, and london was their next stop. they would be there for a couple of days. it was perfect. the first night, he could barely sleep, the next night he had his first london show, and after that was a night off, and the day he had chosen for their date.

   he knew he looked silly in his black bowl cut wig, and his dark sunglasses, but it was for the best. he had even put some coloured contacts in, just in case. his natural eyes were dark brown, and right now they were a forest green. they had decided to meet at the restaurant itself, and he saw her outside when he arrived. she still looked as cute as she did the first time, if not even cuter. he had ran a little late.

   ❛ hey... sorry. ❜  he held out some flowers for her he had picked up on the way here.  ❛ I had to take the bus, and I didn’t know how it worked. the bus driver got mad at me for not having an... oyster card...? ❜  he never took public transport, he was always driven everywhere, or they put him in a private plane. he was just about familiar with how it worked in south korea, from before he debuted, but he had never had to take it outside of his home borders.

[idolsxheadcanons]

friend group for the song Blue Hour by TXT? can be from any source! thank u so much!! 💕

  I’m sorry for the very long wait, I clearly remember when you sent this ask because I was listening to blue hour when I received it! I love TXT so much, their music are so pretty and colourful. Blue hour is one of my favourites! Hope you like your group of friends!!

Here’s your group of friend based on Blue Hour  by TXT

The friends:

  Adonis, Rinko, Misaki, Saaya, Tetora, Himeru, Hiyori and you :D

  ✎ 

  This group of friends is the idea of a forest illuminated by blue lanterns, waves of fresh air and brushes of guitar strings. Whispering between members to annoy others; silly mood; lots of teasing, this group is just ‘air’ in human form. So blue but light blue in a dark blue way.

♔ 

  They dream big; about leaving everything behind, go visit idealistic dimensions and meet fantasy creatures (for some) or live a calm life by the sea (for others) and more. Adonis likes to shake his head fondly at the more idealist ones, and shares ideas of a more modern look with Rinko, who has a hard time sharing her fantasy imagination with others at first in fear of disappointing everyone.

✎ 

  I hope you like taking pictures, because the silly selfies this group of friends take… Saaya has a full album after one day of hang out (without counting those Misaki keep in hostage from embarrassment). If you don’t, you’ll probably play the photographer. Rinko will join you behind the camera when she doesn’t feel like taking any and supress the giggles bubbling inside her throat from the silly faces Tetora and Hiyori try to get Himeru and Misaki to do. Saaya points out Adonis has a signature way of looking in most photos and compliments his smile. Now, every time Adonis takes a photo, his smile gets wider from remembering the interaction.

♔ Random facts!

·        This group is known for stealing each other’s fries (when ordering, even those who don’t like fries HAVE TO get them. More fries for those who like them to fight over basically bahaha)

·        The idea of matching tattoos comes from Tetora, and spreads immediately around the group the next hour. Everyone shares their drastically different designs, it’s still up in the air if they’re even going to get matching tattoos, but Hiyori likes to dream big (and so does everyone else, even if less than the others)

·        When this group fight, it’s either short-lived or takes an incredible amount of time to resolve. (Tetora got frustrated by Himeru’s privateness which divided the group for two months, even if some tried to get the same vibe again, it never worked. If you’re the kind of person to stay away from conflict, those two months will feel like a whole lifetime. If you resolve them as soon as possible, Saaya probably ends up teaming with you and Adonis to lead the thing and bring everyone together to try to remain civil.)

·        Sometimes the group keep secrets from each other but end up saying them all at once when they let themselves feel vulnerable (aka the day when every conflict if they are any get resolved.)

·        Strong tears + bear hugs. Tea for everyone or your favourite drink! Hiyori reminds everyone to drink water on the daily to the point of making special edits of his selfies that reads ‘Ii Hiyori! Drink water to be as fresh as Hiyori! (May contain as side effects raise in attractiveness and popularity)’ The last part has been vandalized by Misaki (by MS painting that sh*t away, as she put it. Asterisks and all, so Tetora doesn’t freak out (it became a joke that any time someone swears in the group Tetora screams in agony because he was deemed ‘the youngest’ no matter if he really is the youngest or not)

·        Overall, good vibes! People outside the circle hear a LOT of stories from this group. Some find them weird, others want to join, but it’s all good vibes, good vibes

[queenbirbs]

surrender | Edward Mortemer x f!MC

Pairing: Edward Mortemer x Elena McTavish

Word count: 7.5k+

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: N*FW

AN: In the words of Kacey Musgraves: I’m alright with a slow burn. But when you want to speed it up a little, that’s what fics are for, right? Takes place pre-chapter nine and also kind of skirts around the very end of chapter eight.

**Re-post due to my dumb ass trying to edit the original on mobile and it wiped the whole damn thing. Cool. Cool cool cool. 

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“Good evening, Miss McTavish?”

The words aren’t so much of a greeting as a question. It’s silly, then, that her breath catches a little. She hides it with a stretch, raising her arm above her head and letting out a throaty noise of content when her spine lengthens. Dropping back onto her heels, she watches Edward finish his ascent up to the crow’s nest where she stands watch.

“Nothing but sea and sky,” Elena replies.

“Aye, should be more of the same on through ‘til morning.”

He settles at his preferred spot, just a few feet from her. She wouldn’t be surprised if his boots have worn divots into the wood from the amount of time he spends up here.

“I’m no Al Roker, but I’d say the nice weather will continue. The sunset was as gorgeous as ever.” She tips her head to the side and bites down on her lip, trying to pull a script line from her memory. “What’s that saying, ‘red sky at night, sailor’s delight’?”

“Al Roker?” he repeats the name, his brow furrowed.

“He’s... a person who predicts the weather. Sort of.”

Edward’s gaze flickers from the sea to her, and then back again, huffing out a short laugh.

“It seems that you speak another language, sometimes.”

“Comes with the territory, I suppose.” Elena shrugs. “What with being a twenty-first century transplant and all.”

She doesn’t miss the quick search he does of the ship below, looking out for any wayward pirates with curious ears, but she knows, just as well as he does, that most everyone is tucked away in the galley below deck. The only other soul around is Maggie back at the helm, who makes a show of feigning interest towards the starboard to give them more privacy.

“I hope you don’t find me rude, that I still don’t know what to make of your… claims.”

“No offense taken,” she assures with a nonchalant wave of her hand. “I thought about what I would do if someone suddenly appeared in my house, claiming they were from your time.”

“And what would you do?”

“Call the cops and then threaten to sick my dog on them.”

“The dog wearing the life preserver?” he lifts a single eyebrow at her, the corners of his lips twitching upwards. “Aye, a truly terrifying sight to be sure.”

“Was that a joke?” she asks, her eyes wide as she makes a show of looking him over.

“You didn’t care for the one about falling in battle, so I thought I’d try out another.”

“Not bad. But I wouldn’t give up your day job quite yet.”

Edward hums his agreement and turns his sights on the ocean before them. Elena understands why he enjoys being up here -- she likens him to a king, high in his tower, or a lion, perched atop his rock; all the world is an oyster from such a height.

Tipping her head up, she takes in the night sky’s view. With little to no light pollution, especially this far out at sea, the stars come out in droves. The Milky Way is a cloudy, violet river that commandeers the horizon. It’s almost dizzying, the amount of stars visible, layers upon layers of them blooming across the sky. Elena’s never seen anything like it. Even when she and her sister would skip their Friday classes, drive up to the nearby state park, and spend the weekend up there, pretending they knew how to camp.

She thinks of the text on her phone from Gabby and the plans they were in the process of making for her to come visit Elena in Los Angeles. When she dropped out of college to follow her dream, the few family she remained in contact with ceased their feeble attempts at communication. When she made it to LA (or, rather, to the one-room hovel she could barely afford), Gabby was the only person on the other end of the line, trying her best to cheer her up. The pang of loss strikes her hard, somewhere behind her ribs. Other than her sudden departure from the set, Gabby might be one of the only people that notices her disappearance -- which is kind of sad, when Elena thinks about it, given that her sister still lives back in Austin.

That thought launches a thousand others. How long has she been gone? Is time moving at the same speed in the future? Is she even going to make it back home?

“Lovely, isn’t it?” Edward’s voice jolts her from her thoughts.

“Yeah,” she agrees, clearing her throat of the emotions that clog it. The railing is steady below her hands; she clings to it, trying to ground herself as best she can.

“Tis... not the same, where you’re from?”

“Where I live, it’s hard to see this many. I feel like if I could get a little bit higher, I could almost touch them.”

Edward looks back to the east, where the moon hangs low in the sky.  

“I don’t see why not,” he murmurs, making a show of leaning close to continue, “if what you say about the moon is true.”

“The stars are a lot farther. And the moon isn’t exactly suitable to live on. At least, not right now. Or,” she pauses, her lips twisting into a grimace, “well, not in my time, it’s not.”

“I’m glad, then, that I’ve made the sea my home.”

If his words are tinged with melancholy, Elena doesn’t mention it. Though she could encourage him to elaborate, she doesn’t want to ruin this peaceful moment. The thought brings with it the memory of their afternoon swim: of his arm wrapped tight around her waist, of the hungry look in his eyes as he took his fill, of the ache in her chest when their moment was broken by the need to surface.

The crystal-clear, turquoise water of the cove brought its own reminder of the summer before her sophomore year of college. It was Gabby’s idea to use their open water diving certifications for something other than taking up space in their wallets. Having spent so much time after her gender affirming surgery entertaining herself with shipwreck documentaries, she booked the trip to the Florida Keys, flights and all, before informing Elena -- in typical Gabby fashion.

“I would never get tired of the views, that’s for sure,” Elena sighs. “Or the constant opportunity to explore whatever island I sailed upon. Like that tiny island we stopped at, I would love to dive there, spend some time exploring underwater.”

Glancing over, she spots Edward’s furrowed brow; she sifts through what little historical knowledge she has of diving. Have those weird, space-age looking suits even been invented yet?

“Sometimes, Miss McTavish, I wonder if I have not happened upon a selkie, with the things you claim.”

“Selkie?” she repeats, rolling the word around in her head, but recognition never comes.

“Aye, a creature of myth, though some people believe they do exist. My mother used to tell me stories when I was little, of the women who came from the sea. Once they reach dry land, they shed their seal skin and transform into a human.”

“So... kinda like a mermaid?”

Edward tips his head in consideration. “In a way. But selkies are usually considered to be gentler. Unless their seal skin is stolen, they favor their time spent among humans. And, when they tire of us, they return to their skin and resume their life under the sea.”

“That sounds sad, in a way. But I promise I went down in a diving suit, not a seal skin.”

“I’ve heard rumors coming out of England, of a man who salvaged sunken ships by trapping himself inside of a barrel. I assume that is not what ye mean, though.”  

“No, not in a barrel,” she grins, pulling her phone from her pocket. “I can show you, though, if you’d like to see.”

“Ah, the black box of witchery.”

He moves closer as he speaks, though, clearly interested in taking another look at it. If he was truly frightened of it, she supposes, he could just lob it into the sea. Her grip tightens on the phone at the thought.

Navigating to her photos, she taps at the folder (embarrassingly titled we’re in miami bitch!!) and turns the phone so the images can expand into greater detail.

“Some of these I took with a disposable camera, so they aren’t the best,” she laments, swiping her thumb across the screen every few seconds. “But my sister -- she has this fancy underwater housing, so her pictures are nice and clear. I would message her for more, but I don’t think Verizon has that great of service.”

She can’t help but chuckle at her own bad joke. Edward, it seems, couldn’t care less -- entranced as he is by the colorful images of the coral reefs and the sponges sprouting from the USS Spiegel Grove’s rusted frame.

“These paintings are exquisite.”

“Pictures,” she corrects.

“You say that as if I’m to know what it means,” he counters.

She swipes to a selfie her sister had taken, the image capturing little else but their masks and the blue world around them. The next photo is better: a full-body shot of Elena in her wetsuit and gear, a cloud of bubbles floating above her head. “I suppose this explains you being such a strong swimmer, when you jumped in after Ginny.”

She shrugs at the veiled compliment and returns the phone to her pocket, avoiding his intense look that she can feel burning into the side of her head.

“Well, swimming in thirty-foot waves is a bit different from the calm waters of Key Largo, but thanks.”

Edward reaches down and skims two fingers under her chin. He tips her head up to meet his gaze, his dark eyes flashing with certainty.

“Make no mistake, though: I am to see that you do not perform such a stunt again.”    

Elena knocks his hand away; irritation bubbles up inside her, heating her cheeks and neck.

“I wasn’t performing. I’m not the Wonder Twins. And I’d do it again, if Ginny or anyone else went overboard. Even for you.”

His expression sharpens, his mouth twisting into a frown. She crosses her arms across her chest and serves him a look right back. Whatever he’s about to say, she cuts off as she continues, “Just because I haven’t been sailing the high seas or… or crossed swords with some real buccaneers as long as you all have been doesn’t mean I’m not capable. I fought Robert and won -- I even got his fancy-schmancy sword -- and I sailed our ship through a storm, didn’t I? You need to learn to trust me and-- and… why are you smiling?”

The irritation fades from his face in one fell swoop, there and then gone, replaced by a soft smile that he seems to reserve only for her.

“Something you said, Miss McTavish.”

“I said a lot of things,” she points out. Despite the opening she leaves dangling for him, he doesn’t elaborate. She’s not sure why she expected him to; the man is stubborn to a fault. “Okay, fine. You can keep your charming and mysterious act. You certainly have it down pat.”

“As you do with your… turns of phrase.”

The tension between them cools, aided by the winds that blow towards them from the north. Elena settles at his side once more, the railing at her back. He gives a cursory glance over the horizon.

“You know,” she says, “I realized today that I never said thank you.”

“For what?” he returns his sights to her, curiosity warming his eyes.

“For getting me the hell off the Admiral’s ship. I knew he wasn’t a stand-up guy when he shot one of his own men, but knowing what I know now, I’m especially grateful.” She reaches out to touch his wrist, squeezing it for a long beat. Edward brings his other hand up and covers hers. “I know you took a risk, not knowing if I was a navy spy, but you brought me aboard anyway.”

“Even when we made you stand trial to prove such innocence?”

“Do you think I would’ve been given such a chance on his ship?” she asks, her tone thick with sarcasm.

“No, I do not.” Edward’s face darkens for a moment. “A man capable of such depravities would have treated you… terribly, no doubt.”

“Hey, like I said: white dude of high rank in the eighteenth century? He’s got about a two percent chance of not being an awful person.”

“You--” Edward pauses, lowering his voice as he continues, “are things… different, in your time?”

Elena bites at her lip, wondering how much she should divulge about the twenty-first century. Hope works much better if the outcome is still uncertain, and she doesn’t want to dash any he has for his own future.

“Different, sure, but also very much the same. There’s a famous expression: ‘those who forget history are doomed to repeat it.’ It’s -- let’s just say it’s been accurate more than once or twice.”

“I’ve never heard of such a phrase, but I understand its meaning rather well.”

“And, hey, that’s the second time now that you’ve referred to my ‘situation,’” she marks the term with air quotes. “Does that mean you believe me?”

Edward makes a show of heaving out a sigh. “I am making a valiant effort to do so. Your box certainly helps your case. It -- all of it -- ‘tis still rather wonderful and strange, though.”

“There are more things in heaven and earth, Edward, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”

“You’ve read Hamlet?”

“I’m an actor by trade. Of course I’ve read it. And by read it, I mean that Shakespeare’s works were forced on me in every English class in school.”

That gets an exasperated chuckle out of him. She can’t help the smile that forms; she really enjoys the sound of his laughter. For as much as he tries to play up the stoic, unfeeling pirate captain, he seems to lose the battle whenever she’s around. “It’s all right, you know, if you don’t believe me. I know this is kinda crazy.”

The humor on his face is there one second and then gone the next.

“’Tis… not that.”

“Then what is it?”

No answer comes.

“Charlie was right,” she teases, knocking her elbow into his. “You’re really not great at changing the subject.”

That gets her a snort of amusement, but nothing more. Before she can prod, a cold gust of wind sings through the rigging, whipping up past them and sending her hair into disarray. Despite the residual heat of the sun-warmed railing, Elena can’t help but shiver, and hugs herself to conserve what little heat she can. Edward wraps an arm around her waist and pulls her close, his hand running up and down her back with gentle strokes. Her heartbeat quickens at the gesture, now familiar since he helped pull her up out of the raging waters.

“I apologize, Miss McTavish. I shouldn’t have kept you up here so long. You should go down to the galley -- you missed dinner, after all, while on watch. Can’t have you on a chameleon diet. And you’ll be much warmer down there.”

Elena shakes her head and reaches up, placing a hand on the warm plane of his chest where his shirt parts. His breath catches under her palm.

“No, I’m alright. I’m glad you were the next on lookout duty, actually. I wanted to ask you a question.”

“Ask away.”

“Do you really think the Admiral cares about getting his property back?” Edward’s body tenses under her touch; she shoves down the wiry ball of nerves in her stomach at the movement. “That lieutenant I ran into, he didn’t mention anything about--”

“Need I remind you of what I promised on our walk from the mayor’s estate?” he interrupts.

Confusion sweeps through her. Elena quirks her head to the side, trying to connect the dots between that conversation and her current fears. “You are no man’s property,” he spits, his voice gone rough from obvious fury. “And for as long as you are here, you are under my protection.”  

The wave of realization hits her.

“I was, uh, talking about the compass.”

“Ah.” He sucks in a deep breath and lets it out. The hard line of his shoulders softens. “I… see.”

“But it was interesting, to say the least, to see you puff up like that. I’m sure it would make any other lass swoon. I mean,” she lifts her hand from his chest and holds her thumb and pointer finger inches apart, “I was this close.”

He rolls his eyes at her. “Aye, I’d pay top coin to see you swoon.”

“I can think of a few things you could do to make that happen,” she teases.

Edward takes her hand in his and drops a kiss to her knuckles. Before that familiar swell of longing in her chest can rise, though, he shakes his head.  

“I will not risk it.”

“You would sail your ship into every storm across the Caribbean, but this,” Elena glances down to their entwined hands, “you won’t take a chance on?”

“That should tell you how serious I am.”

“I can’t follow your line of thinking, Edward. Do you think the Admiral will suddenly know? That he’s some omniscient god, overseeing all that goes on?”

“People are fond of gossip.”

“Who? What people? Because if it’s the crew, I trust them with my life, just like you do, and I don’t--”

“Not them. But anywhere we’d go, we’d have eyes on us -- eyes that could report back to the Admiral. And if we were -- there would be no world where I wouldn’t want to have you by my side.”

“But we--”

“Jealousy is a hideous trait to have, but I’m afraid I would not be able to stop it from affecting my actions. I’ve seen the people at port, the way they flirt with you.” Edward frowns at the dark sea ahead. “You don’t think I wouldn’t challenge anyone who tried to -- to woo you? I would not be able to stand idle while--”

Elena barks out the short laugh she’s been holding in. “What is so humorous?”

“Because you already do all that.”  

Self-awareness rushes in like the tide, flooding his brain. His jaw goes slack, as does his hand in hers, before he collects himself. Elena feels pinned under those eyes of his. She watches them drop down to her lips before returning to her gaze.

“May I?”

“You really have to ask?”

“Aye, of course.”

He starts to say more -- probably a long-winded explanation about his gentlemanly values -- but she’s waited too long for this to be delayed another second. Elena leans up and silences him with a kiss. He doesn’t turn and flee, like she expects; when he breaks the kiss for air, she gets but a second to collect her own breath before his lips return to hers. She hums her encouragement when he lets go of her hand to sink his fingers into the loose wave of her hair.

His lips, cold from the ocean breeze, warm under hers. Elena finds that his kisses are exactly like him: brash, and quick, and intoxicating, with the slightest hint of steel. When she draws her tongue against him, she can taste spiced rum and saltwater. He growls from the deep well of his throat when she bites down on his heavy, bottom lip. His arm cinches tight around her waist and hauls her against him; their bodies meet in a delicious roll of pressure.

“Miss -- Miss McTavish--”

“Elena,” she corrects, her hand skating up his back, searching for purchase so she can drag him closer.  

“Elena.”

His breath is hot against her skin where his lips trace the line of her jaw. The world dips and sways suddenly, the railing digging into her back. She clings to him when the sensation of weightlessness shoots up her spine.

It takes her a moment to register that it's only the ship underneath them, crossing over a rough wave. Concerned that she’ll end up pitching over to the deck eighty feet below, he picks her up and spins until her back meets the mast. Elena reaches for the lapels of his coat, but he’s faster, and snatches her hands in one of his and pins them above her head.  

“I have dreamed of this,” he murmurs, skimming the pads of his callused fingers along her throat, his mouth trailing behind with fervent, open-mouthed kisses.

She swallows back the moan that wants to form. A shiver dances under her skin, now damp from his attention.

“I have too,” she admits with a sigh. “Except mine deserve an NC-17 rating.”

“You know I don’t understand what that--”

“I certainly fuckin’ can!” someone shouts from below.

The wonderful spell they’ve found themselves under shatters. The voice might as well have been a gunshot, with the way Edward leaps back from her. Elena mourns the loss of his mouth on her as she adjusts her waistcoat and smooths down her hair.

Flipping and tumbling their way across the deck, Ada and Ax continue their argument about who can reach the top of the main mast first. Charlie, Jonas, and Ginny trail behind them, wagering their bets. Maggie’s thick accent carries across the ship, telling them off for circusing about, and ordering them to stay away from the rigging.

It’s not as if their tryst could have continued much longer, Elena considers, given that the crow’s nest wasn’t exactly a secluded spot. The twins make a good show of pouting, but eventually head for their quarters, Ginny giggling as Ax twirls her round.

“Maggie deserves a raise,” Elena tells him.

“Because she knows how dangerous ‘tis for them to be climbing about with no light?”

“Because she knows they would’ve caught us up here, making out like a pair of horny teenagers.”

“Ah. You--” his hand lifts in an aborted move towards her before he redirects it through his tousled hair. “--you should get down to the galley. I’m sure Henry is waiting on you, by now.”    

“Okay,” she says, because it’s the only thing to say. Swinging down onto the rope ladder, Elena starts to descend but pauses, peeking over the railing to catch his eye. “But don’t think this conversation between us is over.”

“Aye.” A wry grin flickers across his face. “I know much better than to assume that.”

+

Edward is right -- about the food, at least.

When she makes it down to the galley, Henry sits her down with a covered plate. Well, as covered as it can be with the dirty rag he’s thrown over it. She’s learned not to make a fuss, though, especially to the man cooking the food.

“Thanks for keeping it warm for me.”

“Took ye long enough,” Henry huffs, but makes a show of looking over his shoulder at her. His face, streaked with ash that he sifts with a makeshift poker, makes it easier to spot his sly grin. “Find somethin’ interestin’ up there, hmm?”

“I was distracted by the view.” Which is the truth, although she doesn’t include that Edward’s lips were part of said view.

“Nothin’ beats a clear night at sea, to be sure.” Swinging the stove door shut with a satisfied grunt, he jerks his chin towards a small barrel on the nearby shelf. “Charlie made some punch, if ye want more’n water to wash yer food down.”

She shakes her head; she’d made the mistake once of drinking their ‘punch.’ It put the jungle juice she drank back at college parties to shame. Charlie now called it Caribbean moonshine, thanks to Elena and her fiery round of swearing after taking a sip.

With the comforting noise of Henry’s humming as he cleans up, she takes a seat on the tin-lined floor and eats her dinner. Not for the first time, she notes Maggie’s touch in the confined space. Fitted across the shelves are iron bars to keep the contents from taking a tumble in rough waters. Tied round the necks of bottles with twine, scraps of parchment label each oil and spice in her spidery handwriting.

“I worked up a new dessert for ye to try, if ye’d like.” He produces a bowl of something that might come out the other end of her garbage disposal back home. Elena inspects the concoction with interest. “I boiled some hard tack in a little bit o’ rum and brown sugar, and then boiled mangoes with some sugar to mix in with it.”

“Ooh, like a compote?”

“Aye, sorta.”

In another world, three hundred some-odd years in the future, she could easily imagine Henry with a cafe or food truck, selling ‘deconstructed desserts’ and other kitschy items. Scooping up a sample, she’s surprised at the delicious flavor of it. The enjoyment on her face must be obvious, because a grin appears behind the ash. “Good, init?”

“Really good! Except, and this is going to sound weird, but maybe add a pinch of lime juice? I think it would really bring out the sweetness of the mango more.”

“Yer right, lass. That might do. And then maybe I can finally get the others to try it.”

“I’ll vouch for you,” she promises after sampling another portion. “Unless I die of food-poisoning tonight, and then you’re shit outta luck.”

Henry shakes his head and huffs out a laugh. “Edward’d have my head first.”  

“Did he at least try it?”

“I doubt he would’ve, if he’d come down for dinner at all. Too busy broodin’ in his cabin, I suspect.”

Elena hands off her empty plate when he motions for it. Curiosity, instead of hunger, gnaws at her insides.

“Can I take this with me?” she gestures to the bowl in her hands.

“Aye, have the rest of it -- and see if ye can convince the cap’n to get in a few bites, hmm?”

She doesn’t bother asking him how he knows where she’s going; the rest of the crew isn’t as blind as Edward claims them to be. “But if ye break it, yer buyin’ me a new one.”

“Deal. Thanks, Henry!”

+

Elena climbs up to the deck carrying her pilfered bowl.

From where she’s manning the wheel, Charlie throws her a two-fingered salute from the bridge. High overhead, Jonas wishes her goodnight from his post in the crow’s nest. Grateful that she won’t have to try holding onto the bowl while climbing up the rope ladder, she continues on towards the stern.

“What can I do for you, Miss McTavish?” Edward asks before his door is fully open.

“How’d you know it was me?”

He shoots her a deadpan look. Moving aside to allow her entry, he shuts the door behind her.

“No one else would dare bother a captain’s sleep, lest there was an emergency.”

“Henry told me you skipped dinner, so I brought you something to eat.” Elena gestures to the bowl in her hand. Stepping close to give it a thorough once-over, Edward grimaces.

“I will take my chances with starvation.”

“Hey,” she scolds, “it isn’t that bad.”

He does a double-take between her and the food. “You ate it?”

“In college, I once ate stale Wheat Thins drizzled with an expired bottle of honey mustard. And before you say anything,” she holds up a hand to stop the statement she knows is coming, “I know you don’t know what either of those are, but trust me: it was the most disgusting thing I’ve ever eaten.”

“And this bowl of slop is better than that?”

“If it weren’t, would I be forcing you to eat it?”

He mutters something under his breath, too faint for her to catch, but seems to concede. After a brief hesitation, he takes the bowl and spoon she offers him and shovels in a mouthful of the mixture. His eyebrows pinch down at the initial taste, and then lift in bewilderment.

“Not bad, right?”

“Not… horrible, no.” He sounds just as surprised as he looks. “This is one dessert of Henry’s that I may live to tell the tale of.”

“Good. But that’s not the only reason I came.”

“Aye, would it have anything to do with continuing our conversation from earlier?”

“All that time, Robert was accusing me of being a witch, but here you are, able to read minds.”

Edward gives a soft snort at that, collapsing into his chair. The desk in front of him is littered with maps and parchments and various trinkets. Elena crosses the room and comes round the side of the desk, taking in the starry view from the windows. Out of the corner of her eye, she watches the spoon swirl round and round in the gruel as he assesses her.

“Ye would’ve been a good jester, Miss McTavish, in a previous life.”

“It’s just us,” she murmurs. “You can drop the surname.”

“No, I can’t.” The grief in his voice is as clear as a bell. “In another life, yes, but here--”

“--here,” she interrupts, turning at the waist to study him, “in your cabin, alone. Not even then?”

Edward sets the bowl down onto the desk and glares at the floorboards. “We can’t let our emotions cloud our judgement.”

Folding her arms across her chest, she lifts a single brow at his attempt to backtrack.

“Says the man hell-bent on playing cat-and-mouse with an enemy to exact revenge on him for something he clearly feels guilty about? Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.”

His gaze shoots up to her, those dark eyes of his flashing in the candlelight. “That phrase I indeed do know.”

“Then you should know that you can’t kiss me like the world is ending, and then shoe-horn me back into a neat, little box, Captain Mortemer.” Elena doesn’t see it coming, she’ll admit that. She’s too busy ranting at the starry night, too pissed off with the man beside her, too afraid she’ll lose the runaway train of her thoughts if she focuses on him and sees all the emotions he claims to be above, all that longing and heartache and desire, painted across his face. “Since you’re so insistent on using surnames to avoid--”

In the second it takes her to draw a breath, Edward surges out of his chair and crosses to her. In the next, his lips are on hers. That passion she saw the mere beginnings of up in the crow’s nest roars with intensity. He cups her cheek and tilts her head just so, deepening the kiss; she can taste the mango’s sweetness on his tongue.

All at once, he pulls away. She mourns the loss of him with a quiet moan.

“My -- my apologies. I’m--”

Before he can worry himself into the ground with another fit of propriety, Elena holds up a finger to his lips.

“Stop being so polite and kiss me again.”

That familiar grin breaks free, lighting up his face with a naked delight that sends her heart racing.

“As you command.”

His mouth claims hers again. A muscled arm circles her waist, one hand splaying wide across her back to pull her close. She comes easily, readily into his embrace. His shirt twists in her hand where she holds on for dear life, parting for a quick breath of air, before diving back in. His other hand strokes a molten path up from her waist, brushing over the beaded point of her nipple. The moan she releases is louder this time, wanting more than anything for him to do it again.

For all his faults, he’s no fool. Sure, he takes his sweet time with it, dragging his fingertips along her collarbone and up into her hair to push the blonde curtain back, but he eventually makes his way back down. Cupping her breast, his thumb rubs circles against her -- even through the layers of lace and cotton, Elena’s breath catches at the immediate flare of pleasure.

Emboldened by her response, Edward backs her up against the cool, glass panes, his mouth leaving hers to suckle at her throat. Elena tips her head back, her lips parting as his stubble prickles against her skin. His thumb works steadily over her and she’s dizzy with the primal need to have him.

Braced by the window behind her, she hooks a leg up and around his ass. He needs no more encouragement to invade the space she’s created, his hips rocking tentatively against hers. Frustrated with the buffer of all her layers, Edward retreats to the buckle at her waist, his eyes searching hers.

“May I?”

Elena swallows to free the words from her throat, but they won’t come; instead, she nods her permission. The belt hits the floor with a thwack. Her waistcoat comes next, which she tosses off with a flourish. Edward captures her hands and tugs off her gloves. Spotting the gleam in his eye, Elena distracts him with a roll of her hips and frees her hands, chuckling when he mutters a curse at her.

“You’re a cunning lass.”

“I can’t wait around for you to strip me of my garments.” Her fingers making quick work of the corset’s laces. “Besides,” she drawls, “between the two of us, I’m probably the one with more experience taking off a lady’s corset.”

His eyebrow raises in response to her claim. The image of her and another tangled together plagues him; his jaw clenches tight at the thought.  

“That may be so,” he growls, reaching down for his own shirt and tearing it off, “but it won’t be their names you’ll be calling soon enough.”

Her blood flash boils at the promise. She grabs the hem of her blouse and yanks it up over her head.

“Jealousy is a good look on you,” she teases, tracing the line of his jaw with her fingernail.

Seizing her hand, he laces their fingers together and presses a kiss to her wrist. Goosebumps raise across her skin as his mouth trails from the tendons in her forearm to the curve of her shoulder. Nudging her bra strap down, Edward continues his trek to the rosy flush blooming across her chest.

Not one to play the passive participant, Elena cards a hand through his shoulder-length locks and nudges him down. He takes the cue and moves further south; she whimpers at the wet heat of his mouth closing over the lace of her bra.

“God, stop teasing and--” her gasp echoes across the cabin at the sharp bite of his teeth closing around her nipple. His tongue darts out, soothing any hurt, and turns to lave at her other breast.

Once she regains motor control, Elena unlatches her bra and flings it to what might possibly be the furthest reaches of the universe -- she doesn’t care, as long as Edward will keep doing wondrous things to her with that mouth of his.

“Miss McTavish,” he rumbles, tilting his head to run his stubble along her naked flesh, enjoying the ragged, little noises she makes. “You are well on your way to looking thoroughly ravished.”

Her wandering hand smooths over the tight curve of his ass and grabs hold. She smirks as he bucks up into her.

“Then get on with it, Captain.”  

Deft fingers pop the button on her pants and dip down below the waistband. Elena stretches up and rests her bare shoulders against the glass, tipping her hips up to encourage his exploration. She cries out when he slides two fingers inside of her. He gives her a moment to adjust to the intrusion, nuzzling the curve where her neck meets her shoulder.

“I’ve long wondered,” he murmurs, his tongue skimming across the salty sweat of her skin, “what you taste like.”

At the sudden loss of his hand, Elena opens her eyes to tell him off for his teasing -- but her throat goes dry when he brings his fingers to his mouth and sucks them clean. It’s a long moment before her world centers on its axis once more for her to ask.

“How do I taste?”

“Decadent,” he growls.

Crowding against her, he props himself up with one hand spread wide against the window above her head, while his other draws a wet trail down her belly. A short grunt of pleasure sounds from both of them when he slips back inside her.

Elena reaches a shaky hand up to hook around his arm, her nails digging into the muscles there. Arousal clogs her veins like molasses -- slow and syrupy and sinfully sweet. The movement of her hips turns clumsy and erratic. Sweat beads across her forehead as his fingers work her open, the heel of his hand circling her with delicious pressure.

“Edward -- fuck, I--” she cries out.

“Will you come for me?” he asks, his gaze snapping to hers. Desire clouds his eyes, the brown irises eclipsed by the black of his pupils.  

“Please--” he cuts off her begging with a kiss.

“Will you?”

“Yes,” she answers with a gasp.

Covering his hand with her own to guide him exactly where she likes, she stretches up for another kiss and grinds down against his hand. The heat inside of her reaches its critical point, flaring to life and scorching through her bloodstream. Clenching tight around him, her hips convulse as she rides out the quake of her orgasm.

Edward slides his fingers out, dropping a kiss to the crown of her head when she whines with oversensitivity. He brings her into his arms, smoothing a hand over her hair as her body shudders with the last of its tremors.

“Fuck,” she sighs, a delirious sort of giggle bubbling up. “Well, how do I look now?”

“Exquisite.”

Leaning down, he captures her lips with a kiss. She blames the blush from her recent orgasm.

“I think it’s my turn, then, to ravish you.”

“We don’t have to--”

Elena silences his gallant protest with a heady kiss, raking one hand through his hair. Her other runs along his side, where she hooks two fingers into his waistband and yanks him closer. Continuing down, she runs the flat of her palm against the obvious sign of his arousal. Edward groans into her mouth; he ropes an arm around her waist and carries her to the desk. With a wide sweep of his arm, he knocks documents and equipment to the floor before depositing her atop it.

“Careful!”

He jerks back at her yelp, casting a worried eye over her form. “Have I harmed you?”

“No, no -- I promised Henry I wouldn’t break his bowl.”

Edward rolls his eyes and grabs the dinnerware before she can reach for it, then tosses it to the floor.

“I will buy him a new one when we stop at the next-- why are you laughing?”

Elena shakes her head at him, avoiding any explanation by dragging his mouth back onto hers. It’s a rather effective technique, as she’s finding out tonight. Their remaining clothes join the messy pile on the floor. Edward huffs a laugh at her threat of injury if he rips her underwear, but seems to heed her words and takes care to drop them onto the desk. Moving into the space between her thighs, he grabs two handfuls of her ass and drags her closer. The soft giggle that sounds from her delights him; he leans down and savors the taste of it on her lips.

Elena’s hand wanders over his stomach and down the trail of coarse hair to take hold of him. He thrusts into her touch with a grunt, choking on an inhale when she twists her wrist on the next upstroke.

“May I have you?” he manages to rasp.

“You may,” she purrs, and guides him to her entrance.

With a surge of his hips, he plunges into the slick heat of her. At her gasp of encouragement, he slips out and then back inside, grinding his teeth against the clench of her. Pleasure is a ripple on the surface, building into a wave that banks higher and higher as they move together. The world outside slips from its perch, losing what little control it has over the confines of the cabin. There is only the two of them, lost in the frantic rocking of their bodies.

A shameless staccato of moans falls from her lips as he fucks her. Edward wraps a fist around a length of hair and pulls her head back, exposing the long line of her throat; he nips at her pulse point and then at her bottom lip, swallowing her cries of pleasure.

“If you shout any louder, the whole ocean’ll hear you,” he playfully scolds.

Spotting her opening, Elena tightens her legs around his hips and digs her heels into his lower back. Retaliation sings its sweet tune as she jerks him forward on top of her, the both of them crashing back onto the desk.

“Don’t underestimate me.”

“Nay, I would never.”

Edward props himself up with one hand next to her head, his other clamped firmly around her thigh as he drives into her, the angle somehow that much sweeter. “God, but yer a pretty sight, spread underneath me.”

It’s impossible -- that she’s here, that the desk underneath her is scattered with papers that would be considered treasure in her time, would be framed in a museum and ogled by historians. A quill digs into her spine and she’s certain they’ve spilled a pot of ink, but Elena can’t find it in herself to care. If she’s lost in time, then at least she has Edward to guide her through it; her beacon of light, keeping her adrift, illuminating her way through the confusing, treacherous world she’s been transported to.

“Elena,” he gasps, his chest gleaming with sweat in the candlelight. “Elena.”

His hold slips from her thigh and down to where they’re joined, rubbing quick circles against her bundle of nerves. Whatever he’s asking of her, she gladly surrenders. The wave of her climax rushes over her, flooding her veins and drowning her with euphoria.

The sight of her lost in the throes of pleasure is an anchor; he sinks.

Edward curses with his release, collapsing beside her onto the desk. Their sweat-slick bodies heave as they catch their breath. Something catches flame in Elena’s chest and simmers there when he folds her into his embrace, his palm cradling her head against his chest. His heart thunders against her temple.

She sees no better time than now, lying naked in his arms.

“I have a question.”

He hums with what little strength he can gather for her to continue.  

“When we were up in the crow’s nest, after discussing our love of Shakespeare--”

“--as I recall,” he interjects, “I am the only one who willingly read his works.”

Elena makes a waving motion with her hand, which would prove more effective if his fingers weren’t laced with hers.

“Whatever. What I want to know is, when I said that it was okay if you didn’t believe me, why that made you…?”

“Disquieted?” he finishes for her.

“Yeah.”

She can feel the weight of the sigh that empties out of him.

“Because I do believe you. Your mannerisms, your accent, your magic box with its…?”

“Pictures.”

“Pictures, aye. Everything about you should not fit here. But it does, you do. You’ve adapted remarkably well, given what’s happened to you. You are a strong woman, Elena.”

“I would blush, but I’m too tired from our activities.”

He brushes a kiss against the crown of her head and huffs out a laugh.

“Yet, despite how well you’ve adapted, I know that this is not your home. Your true home, that is. I promise you, once we stop the Admiral, I will do everything in my power to send you back home. But, I confess, I will be… terribly upset to see you go.”

Tears prickle at the corners of her eyes; she shuts them against the fading candlelight.

“Me too.”

His palm skims up and down the soft skin of her back, marred here and there by the cuts and scrapes from life aboard his ship.

“Stay.”

For a terrifying moment, Elena isn’t sure what he means -- and is terrified all the more that she isn’t sure if she wants to return home, at least not so soon. Realizing that he’s probably (hopefully) meaning for the night, she musters up a reply.  

“The crew will talk.”

Edward scoffs. “They do little else.”

Her shoulders shake from her smothered laughter.

“Is this what passes for pillow talk in the eighteenth century?” she wonders aloud, making a show of stretching and enjoying the noise of interest he makes. “But yeah, okay, I’ll stay. I might even make it worth your while.”

“Of that, I have no doubt.”

+

+

+

References: an LMFAO song (it was between theirs or Will Smith’s “Miami,” but MC skews younger to me, so I went with the former), a line from Peter Pan, the ‘those who forget history are doomed to repeat it’ is actually a misquote, but I consider it enough of a ref to list it here. There’s a few slang terms from 17th/18th century and various pirate research sprinkled throughout. The USS Spiegel Grove is a real artificial reef, located off the shore of Key Largo. You can dive it with an OWD certification, though it’s recommended to have an AOWD to properly explore it. ~~the more you know~~

Thanks for reading!

[sxfterhearts]

7. [1:16am]

“ Incoming Video Call from Youngjae ♡ “

Your phone lit up and vibrated against the bedside table, prompting you to leap across the expanse of the bed to pick it up. Smiling with anticipation at your boyfriend’s cute selfie, you quickly answered the call.

“Morning, Youngjae.” You greeted him, even though the skies beyond your hotel windows were painted a deep, dark shade of blue, scattered with twinkling stars and a crescent moon.

“Good morning, sweetheart.” He let out a big yawn, signifying that he had just woken up. You guessed that he was probably laying on the unmade bed, enjoying the beginnings of the weekend. “Isn’t it past one in the morning there? Why aren’t you ready for bed yet?” Youngjae asked, noticing that you were still in your work attire.

A long, tired sigh passed through the speakers. “Yeah, I just got back a while ago. The meeting ran over time and my supervisor made the entire team stay back to make amendments to the agreement. He treated us to pizza and beer though, so that’s a plus.”

Youngjae’s sympathetic look filled your phone screen, and he longed to give you a shoulder massage to ease your tense muscles or run you a warm bubble bath. It was the Friday of the first week of your month-long secondment to your company’s headquarters in London, and you were already worn out by this client’s never-ending demands. You had spent long hours in the office and didn’t get the chance to go sightseeing yet, which you were really looking forward to. At this rate, you probably wouldn’t even have the energy to get out of your hotel room this weekend. Your body craved sleep.

“I know it’s tough, sweetie, but you just need to hang in there for another three weeks. There’ll be a promotion and a corner office waiting for you when you get back to Seoul. I’ll be waiting for you, too.” You felt yourself relax at the honey-like voice that you missed so much. It wasn’t the first time that the two of you had been apart, but you had just discussed – properly discussed – getting married early next year. Now, more than ever, you wanted nothing more than to spend every single waking hour by his side. It really didn’t help that you were halfway across the globe, with the eight-hour time difference.

“I know, I just miss you.” You admitted, voice dropping to a soft whisper. Before meeting Youngjae, you were quiet and reserved, preferring to keep your feelings to yourself. However, your boyfriend was someone who always wore his heart on his sleeve, and being with him taught you how to be more open about your inner emotions to your loved ones. It was just one item in a long list of things that you improved on as a person after meeting him.

“Me too, Y/N, I miss you heaps. So does Coco, she keeps waiting by the door at around seven every day, thinking that you’ll come back from work and greet her.” He turned away from the phone momentarily to call the white Maltese, beckoning her to join him on your shared queen-size bed.

“Aww, does she?”

Youngjae scooped the dog into his arms and placed the screen in front of her beady eyes. “Coco, say hi to Mummy.” She barked eagerly upon seeing your face. You felt a sense of pride blossoming in your chest because the little fluffball you raised with Youngjae recognised you through the screen. “She can’t wait to see you again, isn’t that right, Coco?”

“Mummy misses you too, baby.” You cooed at her in utter glee. These nightly phone calls with Youngjae truly rejuvenated you after a monotonous, dull workday – it was the favourite part of your day.

“Speaking of mummies and daddies, I had a dream about you last night. About us, actually.” Your boyfriend gazed sincerely at the screen, his hand absentmindedly scratching the back of Coco’s ears, a habit of his when he was deep in thought.

“What about? Does your subconscious mind miss me as well?” You teased, although you had to admit that you were flattered and intrigued.

“I don’t know whether I should tell you… It’s late and you haven’t taken a shower yet. Maybe we can just talk about it later, it’s no big deal.”

“Oh no, Choi Youngjae. Don’t even think about ending this call like that and leaving me hanging. I need to know every single detail, down to the colour of my clothes. Spill.”

“It’s just… Well…” He trailed off, his eyes wandering off to somewhere beyond his phone. Judging by where he was laying, you figured it was most likely the picture on the bedside table, taken on your university graduation day, nearly four years ago. “It’s embarrassing, I can’t do this.”

“Honey, I promise that no matter how crazy this dream is, I will never judge you or hold it against you. I will love you regardless, you know nothing will change that.” You said, echoing his own words whenever you were reluctant to share your thoughts or feelings with him in the past.

“Fine…” He sucked in a nervous breath, choosing his next words carefully. “I dreamt of us, living in a double-storey house, with a big backyard and a rose garden. Coco was running freely around the grass.” She interrupted to bark at the mention of her name. “We were sitting outside, enjoying the sunshine. I was wearing that limited-edition Supreme jumper you bought me for my birthday last year, and you were wearing a yellow dress with sunflowers on it.”

“That’s oddly specific, honey, but I don’t own a yellow dress.” Nothing about this dream struck you as out of the ordinary, and it didn’t make sense to you as to why your boyfriend made such a big deal about it.

“Yeah, I know you don’t. It must’ve been a new dress that you bought because, well, in my dream, you were pregnant.” Youngjae said cautiously, trying to gauge your reaction through the phone screen. When he was met with a stunned expression, he hastened to add, “I know that we’ve never brought this up but I just, I don’t know, it must’ve been because we were talking about getting married, and having kids is just the next step, you know? But like, I don’t want you to feel pressured or anything, and it’s totally cool with me if you don’t want to-”

“Babe,”

“I know I shouldn’t have assumed that it was what you wanted. Kids, I mean. I just-”

“Youngjae, it’s alright.” You giggled at your boyfriend’s flustered word-vomit. “It’s fine, I get it. I understand.”

“You’re not mad?”

“Silly, why would I be mad at you for imagining our future together, our own little family?” Oh, what you would give to reach across the screen and snuggle into his arms. “Yes, I know we haven’t talked about it, and it is a bit too soon, but I’m totally fine with having kids, honey. Maybe in about, two years? We can definitely start trying about a year after getting married.”

“Really?” Youngjae asked in disbelief. His expression resembled the one he wore five years ago when you agreed to bringing Coco home. “It’s just that we never actually talked about this seriously and properly so I wasn’t sure how you would react, and I didn’t want to scare you or anything.”

“No, I’ve thought about it before.” You confessed, feeling the apples of your cheeks heating up. “Besides, you know I love babysitting your brother’s kids. And I admit babysitting and having kids of our own is not exactly the same thing, but I think we’ll be ready to be parents in about two years’ time.”

“I’m glad we’re on the same page then.” Youngjae scrunched up his nose in delight, obviously content with your answer. “Well, it’s getting really late for you, sweetheart. Why don’t you go get yourself washed up? I need to send Coco to the groomer soon.”

“Yeah,” You released a satisfying yawn. “Go ahead then, hopefully she won’t be too much of a handful for the groomers this time around.”

Youngjae laughed at that as he rolled out of bed and made his way to the bathroom. “Actually, I wonder how she’ll be like with a baby in the picture.”

“She is really possessive.” Agreeing, you mirrored his actions and grabbed your towel off the hanger.

“Maybe she’ll be more chill as she matures.” He added, flipping the camera to show you Coco wagging her tail excitedly as she followed him around. “Won’t you, girl?”

“Hopefully.”

[iridescenceoflove]

picture me (just like this) - Chapter 2/2

Still for @lnc2 (I know it's no longer strictly Marichat, but I don't think you mind some Ladynoir). :D 

AO3 + FFN

Summary: Chat Noir’s finished Ladybug’s gift. 

She didn't forget about the photos.

(Or what they meant to him.)

Chat Noir on his part hadn't uttered a single word about the project or any plans for a gift exchange to Ladybug—unlike his usual M.O. of telling her anything and everything under the sun that didn't possibly have to do with identities—so she easily deduced that it was indeed supposed to be a top-secret surprise for herself. Of course, that wasn't exactly a possibility at this point. (Not that Chat had to know such.)

He did, however, try and show Marinette the finished product, and whilst it was extremely tempting to agree, she'd forced herself to impose some sense of curtailment on her eagerness in the end. So instead, she'd insisted on waiting until Ladybug saw it, as it would be more special and intimate for her to be the first one to see it before anyone else. She'd figured she already technically ruined her own surprise, so the least she could do was wait and keep as much suspense as she could—even if there was a desperate desire to just sneak a little peek.

(But he'd sounded so giddy over the phone about it; so she could be patient for him.)

That didn't mean she arrived to patrols without bated breath and searching eyes. According to Tikki, her patience sucked.

Eventually, he showed up one evening with the precious little cargo tucked underneath one arm, and she had to contain the urge to squeal and make grabby-hands.

"What's that?" she blurted as his boots touched the rooftop.

According to Tikki, her acting skills sucked too.

Chat made a show of glancing down confusedly. "You mean this?" He gave it a little shake.

"Yeah, is it a gift?"

Tikki may have been somewhat right.

Chat didn't seem to notice though. "Maybe. Maybe not," he wheedled, rocking on his heels.

"Well, it sure looks like a gift to me," she huffed, impatiently crossing her arms.

"Somebody is the curious cat tonight."

"And unlike you, I deserve my satisfaction," she sniffed primly.

"And someone's not going to deserve her gift instead," he taunted.

"Told you!" she grinned, putting forth her hands expectantly.

"You did not!" he retorted, yanking back the present against his chest. "You were just being nosy."

"Was not."

"Were too."

"I don't see how I was being nosy when it's my present."

"But you didn't know that at first."

She scowled. "I had a feeling."

"How?" he pouted.

"Uhh," she stammered. "Well, who else would you be carrying a gift for?"

"Ah ah ah, I think," Chat declared, hiding the present from her line of sight behind his back, "you just don't want to admit you like my presents. And didn't want this to be for anybody else."

"Pffft," she scoffed, waving a hand, "sure, the diamond earrings and Chanel bag were some nice momentos, but they're a little flashy."

And extremely expensive. And the nicest things she owned that had to stay tucked away in her closet because he refused any of her vetoes, and she couldn't be seen with them without raised eyebrows and questions; but she did admire them from time to time. They were sweet gifts nonetheless.

"Alas, she has specific taste," Chat said, inching the gift back out into view.

Her eyes automatically followed the movement of it. "Please," she blinked very kindly up at him.

He sighed. "Who am I to resist the wiles of my Lady." He dropped the gift into her hands with a flourish.

She grinned triumphantly, appraising the book-shaped object covered in her favorite shade of pink and black polka dotted wrapping paper, topped off with a cute little white bow in the middle.

"I will warn you," Chat informed, astoundingly shy all of the sudden, "it's no diamonds or Versace; in fact, I sort of made it, so it's definitely nothing amazing—"

"Don't be silly—I bet it's one of your best gifts yet," she winked, slipping a finger under one of the folds on the backside.

She was pretty sure it could look like a three-year old did it and she would love it still.

Encased in the wrapping was a simple black leather book with the title Adventures of LB and CN and a yin and yang symbol in the corner.

"Uh, I actually was able to commission Nathaniel to do a little edit of the yin and yang symbol to fit our themes...since, you know, we're like yin and yang?"

She nodded, smiling as she softly grazed a finger over the area.

Flipping open the book, there was the dedication on the first page:

For My Lady, My Partner, My Best Friend

She was certain her cheeks couldn't stretch any further.

The first few photos were definitely from the beginning of their partnership. Like their first fist bump, first pose for the press, and one of their first selfies even—they all were lined against the pages, showcasing the novelty and surrealness that encompassed the first couple of weeks. She shook her head in amazement. Even as it felt so long ago, it was as if it were just yesterday she opened that little box of change and responsibility.

It was clear as she continued that Chat had arranged them in a linear-timeline, as the photos became newer and more comfortable. The photos he had first shown her that night in her room were peppered amongst others she noted, and there were quite a few more photos in between. If she were more courageous and self-disciplined, she would ask him to tell her what they meant to him again. And if she were honest enough with herself, she really wanted him to answer the same way he had that night, just so she could see that sparkle in his eye again—honest, hopeful, yearning, all in a way that made her feel warm and funny inside. He'd talk all night if she'd ask, and she would sit beside him and listen just because she could.

By the time she was about halfway through, more photos including other members of the team started popping up. Viperion and Pegasus posing ridiculously back-to-back, Carapace atop Chat's shoulders, Rena pranking Kim with an illusion, there was even a picture of Queen Bee cracking a reluctant grin and peace sign—they all were moments that somehow got captured. Some of the group photos had little descriptions underneath or beside the photos, like, "Goofing around with our buddies—the gargoyles," or "Ice cream and hang with the gang." Some were left by themselves, with little decals matching their respective kwami-animal theme sprinkled throughout.

"I actually got some of these photos from them," Chat said as she landed on a selfie of Viperion and Ryuko. "I mentioned to Rena what I was doing, so she offered to have herself and the others send some photos as a contribution."

If anything, the thought of her team each pitching in some of their own photos was even more touching, and her cheeks were already aching from all the smiling she was doing.

"That was nice of them."

It truly surprised her—the amount of pictures that had been taken and printed so she could relive them all, each photo recalling each moment with clarity and affection.

But to finish it off, at the very end was a photo of her and Chat sitting on a rooftop, her head on his shoulder and their backs to the camera as the sun set; two figures against the fevered oranges and yellows of the sky, side by side. Underneath read—

Ladybug,

No matter what happens, I hope you can look back upon this with fond memories and remember some of the best times. Because my best times are when I'm with you. So here's to all the memories—even good and bad—and many more that will stand the end of time, just like us. You and me, against the world.

Your Partner, Chat Noir

By the time she got to the ending line, it was becoming too blurry. She swiped a knuckle under her eye, not wanting to risk a single teardrop lest it mar the precious page.

"Oh my god, you're crying! I messed up, didn't I— I'm sorry, this—"

She effectively cut off his rambling worries as she threw her arms around him, hugging him fiercely. "You didn't mess up a thing. I love this."

"You do?"

She fervently nodded her head against his shoulder as she laughed, the ends of his hair at the nape of his neck tickling her cheek. "I do. This is amazing."

"On par with Versace?"

"Better," she corrected, running a hand over the front cover reverently. "This is the best gift ever, Chat." She already knew its rightful place where it belonged; nestled in between the two dried roses in the box tucked in the secret corner of her closet.

He grinned, looking simultaneously shy and pleased as he stood before her. "Well, I thought you could use something that'd bring a smile to your face."

'And—and she just looked so happy, so carefree, standing under her umbrella in the rain with a smile that could turn any cloud in the sky away as she explained. I couldn't help but take a photo, because I knew then that as long as I know her, I'd always try to get her to look like that. Happy.'

"You make me happy."

The words slipped past her lips, unbidden, honest, and completely unchecked; but she wouldn't take back the words for anything.

"I do?" he blinked, voice colored with surprise and wonder, as if any foresight to insert the usual flair of charismatic self-assuredness into his tone disappeared.

And maybe, that was why it only felt right to be honest: "Of course! I—I may not say it often enough...but you're my partner. My best friend. You've always made me happy."

Because when he'd noticed she was feeling down, he'd taken the time and effort to make something special for her, just to try and cheer her up. And sometimes, she really wondered why she drew that line for herself, and when it had become so blurred. Especially when he looked at her like that as she held what she knew was going to be one of her most treasured possessions for the rest of her life.

It turned out she didn't have to ask again. "It goes both ways, My Lady; you make me the happiest Chat around." It was said with earnest veracity—the same veracity he'd wielded when talking about her on her chaise that night—eyes sparkling and honest, his smile hopeful and yearning. A photo wasn't necessary when her brain already committed that look to her memory.

She stepped forward. "Well," she said, before stretching onto tiptoes so her lips could meet the smooth curve of his right cheek. "Thank you again, Chat Noir. I'll cherish this forever." She pulled back, the tips of their noses barely grazing— "And the book."

Smiling, she launched off the rooftop, a blushing open-mouthed Chat Noir in her wake. As she landed on the facing building, she slid her yo-yo open and pressed the camera icon, giggling as the yo-yo audibly clicked.

This was definitely a memory for the books.

[thesoundofaghost-mp3]

May's tutorial on how to take 2000s looking pics! This is not just for scene and/or emo kids, although ofcourse yall can use this!

Here are a few things you can do to make pictures look like they were taken in the 2000s!

What better way to look 2000s than when you use 2000s technology?

Exemples of things you could take a pic with are: an ipod, or any mp3 player actually, 2000s looking cd players, PS2 controllers (make sure it actually looks like you're playing or believe me, someone will notice!) or xbox controller (if you use older consoles of any type, the vibe might look more 90s but if you manage you can still make it work)

If you can't take a picture next to or with 2000s technology... anything? Well maybe you can take a selfie with a fliphone, or a T Mobile Sidekick (if you have one, lucky you!) or even a Nintendo DS if you've got one of those with the camera! Mirror selfies were also a thing of the (mid?) 2000s if they were taken with an actual camera! Let's also not forget the webcam pictures!

Here's one I took for example:

Special "effects"/ Editing:

One thing that makes almost all pictures look so much more aesthetic/better: putting the flash on! I promise it works almost all of the time, the picture will look more high quality and clearer even though it is the same quality as without! If you think your outfit might not be too great or you'd like to make it look like it was taken with a low quality phone, blur the picture! It could also just look artistic, which works just as good.

As for the editing, Glitter, like edits made on Blingee, turning up the contrast, putting a filter (or a few) that give off a blue hue or darker, add in your FriendProject profile number, or your nickname in a grungy font, or photoshop yourself in front of a cute butterfly background!

The poses and angles!

Taking a picture with only this information might not be enough to make it look as 2000s as you want it to be, so now let's see another thing; the poses and the angles! Especially when you take a selfie, do not understimate the power of the "myspace angle" as you might've heard before, the super high angle from which you take the selfie, in which you could include your whole outfit. I know, out of experience, that the position in which you have to try and stand to get your whole outfit in the picture is very, VERY uncomfortable, but trust me it's worth it!

Here's an example:

Other angles/poses you could use are for example the ones in which you position the camera, phone or whatever you take your pictures with at your feet, put a timer or make someone take the picture for you, in an angle at which your feet will look bigger than your head and your whole outfit will be visible again! This one's hard to explain but here's an example, again from one of my pics because I couldn't find one from someone else: (putting "myspace picture big feet" on google, does in fact, not work)

Shoutouts from most known myspace celebs were a big thing back then, with the name of someone (or their own, partly to prove they aren't catfish) written on their hand or a piece of paper, as well as showing off fake tattoos made with sharpies, or something like "I love you!" on the palm of your head, so standing there showing it, could, somehow be a pose? I guess so... oh well, this is still something that would've been on this list!

There are many more (like for example the ones where your legs look broken as you sit on the floor, or the one where you are showing off your room plastered with posters..) but just know not to just stand there looking lost (unless that's what you're going for), be either VERY dramatic with the poses or super casual, no in betweens or you'll probably look awkward!

Dramatic makeup and hair!

Of course... To keep on being dramatic, because the 2000s very much were, (as every decade, in their own way, but you get what I mean) hair was often in crazy colors and or haircuts! Even if you were neither emo nor scene, celebrities like Christina Aguilera or Kelly Clarkson, to Matt Tuck (that's right!) had highlights in their hair, or just dyed parts of their hair, usually blonde, black or red, but chalk haircolor exists in many colors, so go crazy on that!

See here:

Not only that but side ponytails, extensions, crimped hair, face framing bangs, spiky gelled hair etc. Even if you aren't emo or scene, your hair can cover one of your eyes for the picture!

Makeup had to be very visible, especially as a scene kid or emo kid with the overflowing amount of eyeliner, and colorful mascara or anything that you could find to be original and "artsy" really, but also for any other person! Makeup looks that were usual attire were for example: LIPGLOSS, blue, purple, white or eyeshadow, frosty pink lipstick, a lot of mascara, colorful eyeliner, rosy cheeks, or lined lips (darker on the outside) but none of that would be complete without thin eyebrows! Fake tans are also a go-to if you're feeling it!

Now, if you're too scared to use hairchalk or dye your hair, and you aren't too good at makeup, no worries, you've still got other options!

Props and accessories!

Big sunglasses.. yes, even indoors! Rimmed glasses, Colored lenses, "Bug eye" sunglasses, there are many to choose from! Scarves, very unnecessary but pretty cool looking! Hoop earrings were also in! For guys too, jewelry was often worn, for example diamond earrings, shell necklaces, as well as the typical "gangsta wear", you would've guessed it: the dollar sign necklace or chunky golden chains/necklaces. They were ofcourse not first worn during the 2000s, but they were definitely still very much worn then! Other jewelry often worn were silly bands, wristbands, kandi bracelets and necklaces. You can even wear fake piercings!

As for headwear, still many to choose from, like trucker hats, both for guys and girls and anyone who'd like to wear those, bandanas, fedora hats, (do not recommend, 80% of the time you'll look awkward, but you can't know if you're part of the 20% that could rock the look if you don't atleast try, I guess) "baker boy hats" and big huge bows for all my scene beans out there. Belts. BeLtS! A lot, too much, 3 of them, or one big one, just find whatever you have and wear the goddamn belts! Fishnets! Fingerless gloves! They were very much in, and not just for scemo kids!

Not only is it about things you can wear, but also things you can use for the picture, you can look cute while holding a plush toy, (bonus points if you've got a gloomy bear, hello kitty or gir plush!) mysterious while holding a notebook/ diary of some sort or nerdy with your favorite book, but a lot of pictures get much more fun when they are super random, for example like kiki kannibal, just casually holding a lamp in her garden...

Clothing!

Now, this one will be short as I will mainly give you guys links to some articles that talk about 2000s fashion, but here's a thing: If you're going for a very "in your face" kind of style, go fully crazy lol! Scene kids get your neon green tights or red ripped skinnies out and wear all of the colors, preps wear your shiniest Playboy logo shirt, goths and emos you better wear your nicest black knee high converse, all of it!! Go fucking over the top because truly, it was rarely ever over the top in the 2000s! Also, did I mention? Cringe culture is dead, nobody cares if you somehow manage to truly go a little too far! If you're feeling yourself, don't hesitate to show a little skin, (I don't mean totally naked, duh, especially if you're a minor plz no it's usually a very bad idea) ain't nothing wrong with mini skirts or crop tops! (guys, GUYS please wear them too if you feel like it, I promise you a lot of us think that's hot okaythatsall)

Anyway, here's a few articles on the fashion/clothes! Most of these include also accessories etc but you'll find a lot about clothes!

Includes men's clothing too!

https://www.complex.com/style/best-fashion-trends-of-early-2000s/

Yes.. I know.. Buzzfeed.. But oh well, it's still showing the clothes and fashion like we need! There isn't much for guys here, but there is inspo to take from it lol!

https://www.buzzfeed.com/leonoraepstein/forgotten-early-2000s-trends

Now, I know what this one says... apparently all of these trends were"mistakes"... Well who's gonna laugh when 2000s style makes a comeback? Definitely not them, once they look back on this article!

https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/beauty/fashion/g2898/worst-2000s-fashion-trends/

This article includes men's fashion and also includes a link to buy the items! That is, if you've got 35$ to spend on a cap for example... Which I don't, but that's okay, it's got pretty good examples of the fashion!

https://spy.com/gallery/2000s-fashion-trends-throw-back-style/

And since I couldn't find a good article on 2000s alt fashion, I made a Pinterest board with a few exemples for Scene, Emo, Goth, Mallgoth/Goth, Visual Kei and Cybergoth! There isn't a lot yet, but you'll get the general idea :)

https://www.pinterest.fr/mayskelly/2000s-alt-styles/

I hope you guys like it, and try it! I think I may share my favorite attempts if enough people do it on my instagram story and here, and tumblr as well if anyone participates in this!

[danieledorazi]

Ugly is the new cool, or - the death of the Instagram aesthetic.

“Beauty is, in some ways, boring. Even if its concept changes through the ages, nevertheless a beautiful object must always follow certain rules… Ugliness is unpredictable and offers an infinite range of possibilities. Beauty is finite. Ugliness is infinite, like God.” - Umberto Eco, On Ugliness

Balenciaga changed the game.

From the Washington Post: ‘Ikea bags, ugly sneakers: Balenciaga’s Demna Gvasalia is changing what we consider fashion.’ - ‘François-Henri Pinault, the French billionaire who owns Balenciaga, approvingly sums up Gvasalia’s fashion conceit as “taking the banal and elevating it.” Unlike past designers who have been inspired by mundane objects, Gvasalia quite literally remakes them — using luxury materials. He assigns heightened value to, for example, the nylon totes of the displaced and in doing so directs our gaze — if only momentarily — to people who are substantively ignored. His models are not classically beautiful; they often look preternaturally encumbered and just plain exhausted. And his clothes — at their best — celebrate 21st-century technology rather than 19th-century craft. His work can seem ugly at first glance, but ugly is always more interesting than pretty.

The designer is not just refreshing what historians once considered the greatest haute couture house of them all. He’s redefining luxury and recalibrating status. And in the process, he’s kicking up a storm of controversy and admiration.’

This approach can be clearly seen in Balenciaga’s Instagram account. Weird, beautiful, ugly and poetical.

Who is the person behind this Insta-aesthetic, though? Lotta Volkova. Read more about her here: ‘Stylist Lotta Volkova Is the Secret Genius Behind the Ex-Soviet Fashion Explosion’.

TikTok, AKA the anti-Instagram platform.

‘Vicky Banham, a 21-year-old TikTok beauty influencer with 1.3 million followers, believes that young audiences flock to TikTok’s less-polished videos because the intention is to create “fun and silly” content, as she put it. In her posts, Banham will have a face full of makeup, but she’s also dancing and making goofy faces at the camera.

“While Instagram has grown into a well-established platform, TikTok has a young demographic who doesn’t care about the whole perfect shot thing,” Banham said. “The editing thing, the fake boobs and fake lips. When you are 13, you want to sit with something that’s entertaining. TikTok is making social media fun again. It’s a place where you are enjoying other people’s company online.”

TikTok also gives users an easier way to be discovered with its “For You” feed. While content on Instagram and YouTube typically gets picked up by an algorithm that values clicks and views, anyone can get placed onto the For You feed if they use the hashtag. This has helped users nab huge followings much faster than they could on better-established social media platforms.

“TikTok videos are all about being yourself, so it’s easier to grow,” said Madison Lewis, a 16-year-old TikTok influencer who has over 3 million followers tuning in for her singing and comedy videos (BoF spoke with Lewis after obtaining permission from her mother first). “My followers really enjoy the comedy perspective of it.”’

Source: ‘Gen Z Loves TikTok. Can Fashion Brands Learn to Love It Too?’

RIP the Instagram look.

Says The Atlantic - ‘The Instagram Aesthetic Is OverThe look made famous by the platform just doesn’t resonate anymore.’

‘No one has capitalized on this look’s popularity more than influencers. Some have even started to make thousands of dollars on photo presets that warp anyone’s pictures to fit this mold. But every trend has a shelf life, and as quickly as Instagram ushered in pink walls and pastel macaroons, it’s now turning on them. “Avocado toast and posts on the beach. It’s so generic and played out at this point. You can photoshop any girl into that background and it will be the same post,” said Claire, a 15-year-old who asked to be referred to by a pseudonym because of her age. “It’s not cool anymore to be manufactured.”’

‘In fact, many teens are going out of their way to make their photos look worse. Huji Cam, which make your images look as if they were taken with an old-school throwaway camera, has been downloaded more than 16 million times. “Adding grain to your photos is a big thing now,” says Sonia Uppal, a 20-year-old college student. “People are trying to seem candid. People post a lot of mirror selfies and photos of them lounging around.”

Take Reese Blutstein, a 22-year-old influencer who has amassed more than 238,000 followers in just over a year by posting unfiltered, low-production photos of herself in quirky outfits. (A recent flash photo into a mirror with her dog picked up more than 5,000 likes). She, like many members of her generation, doesn’t stress about posting almost the exact same photo twice in a row, something first-generation influencers wouldn’t dream of. “I’m not afraid to over-post. I don’t think, Oh, will this mess up how my feed looks,” she says. “I don’t think too much about it. If I like an image, I just post it.”

Anything that feels staged is as undesirable for Blutstein’s cohort as unfiltered or unflattering photos would be for older influencers. “For my generation, people are more willing to be who they are and not make up a fake identity,” she says. “We are trying to show a real person doing cool things as a real person, not trying to create a persona that isn’t actually you.”’

[mf-despair-queen]

Fake Dates - Stuart Twombly

Author: @mf-despair-queen

Characters: Stuart Twombly/Reader

Word Count: 17,921

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, Unprotected Sex, Protected Sex, Drunk Sex, Kinda Jealous Sex, Oral (both receiving), Face Riding, 69, Reverse Cowgirl, Side Sex, Sexy Finger Sucking, Making Out, Multiple Orgasms, Dirty Talk, Cowgirl, Kinda Romantic Sex, Mentions of Alcohol, Mentions of Drunk Driving (please don’t do that, it’s bad)

Notes: I will actually admit that I really liked this. That says a LOT for me! As always, if the mobile app screws with you, I’m sorry. All I can say is try opening it in the web browser if you need to, even a mobile web browser SHOULD work. Thanks to @malia--stilinski and @savage-stilinski for lurking while I wrote and editing for me because I can’t spell LOL.

“Lunch time!” You were hollering the second the clock on your desk struck noon. You barely were able to push in your chair before you grabbed your laptop, sliding it in your bag, throwing said bag over your shoulder as you moved from your spot. Bouncing towards your friend, you linked arms with her, draggin neha towards the exit and down to the cafe-coffee shop combo. Neha laughed at your excitement, joking about your love for food.

You broke away from her once you walked in, picking up a salad from the cooler and tucking it under your arm to head to the coffee counter. You ordered your two normal coffees - a tall with hazelnut cream and sugar and a tall caramel macchiato -  and shuffled towards the exit where Neha was already waiting with her own salad.

“Either you got me a coffee without telling me, you really need caffeine today, or,” she paused, nudging your side lightly so the coffee didn’t spill as you walked through the packed Google corridors, “we are expecting a third party for lunch today.”

“I hate ordering your coffee,” you smugly stated, sticking your tongue at her. “You always get something super complicated. Some… grande low-fat Italian Roast coffee with 2% milk and extra espresso and exactly two sugars, no more. Whip cream and caramel flavor and… No. Too much to remember.”

“It’s delicious though,” she hummed.

“Right,” you returned. “We know I’m not allowed more than one cup of coffee every few hours. So, yes. Stuart is joining us for lunch. He texted me about a half hour that he was on his way over. He had his optometrist appointment earlier and is just coming in for the afternoon. He said he would join us for lunch before we head back to the office.”

“Are you sure you want me there then?” She asked with an eyebrow raised. “I don’t want to interfere with you and your boy.”

“My little Stu Boo?” You laughed, Neha smirking at you. “Don’t give me that look. It’s just a nickname. You know that. There is absolutely nothing going on between us.”

“Right,” she drew out skeptically.

“What’s that supposed to mean? We are just friends, Neha! Nothing more, nothing less. He is my best friend and has been since the internship. I do not, and I repeat, do not have feelings for Stuart Twombly.”

She hummed under her breath, sounding unconvinced at your words. Instead of arguing further, you dropped it, changing the topic until you hit the lounge you normally ate in. The room was filled already, but your spot in the back corner was reserved by the sweater-wearing dumb dork that was your best friend. He pushed his glasses further up the bridge of his nose, slumped backwards in the plush cushions of the couch he was sat upon. His nose was buried in his phone as always, not bothering to look up when you pushed the door open with some struggle. You smiled, seeing he had forgone his beanie for once. His brownish colored sweater hung open lazily, a white button up under it, his black undershirt poking through the top unbuttoned buttons. His hair stuck up in a stylish quiff, the dark chocolate color looking fluffy on his head.

“I see a Mr. Twombly in our midst,” you hummed, holding out the caramel macchiato. It was taken without looking, Stuart simply waving in acknowledgement. You sneered at him playfully, placing your coffee and salad on the table, purposefully pushing past him to take the seat to his right. “Excuse me,” you joked, tucking your skirt under you, dropping onto the couch next to him. Your flip flops slid off your feet, your legs curled under your form where you were planted.

“That’s rude,” he deadpanned, sipping his coffee. He glanced at Neha, who shook her head. “How do you put up with her?”

“I should ask you the same thing,” Neha laughed, suggestively glancing between you both. “She’s your best friend.”

“I regret that decision every day.”

“I regret it too,” you snapped back at him. “Because your rude ass got tacos on your way here from the eye doctor and you didn’t even bring me some? It’s from Jose’s too. That’s the best tacos in town, dude. You left me to get some shitty salad from the cafe. Friendship officially ruined.”

“Right,” he flatly replied, opening the bag of food he had on the table. He pulled out his platter, two loose tacos wrapped neatly on top of it. You squealed in delight, taking the tacos. “I know you and tacos, Y/N. I would have been disowned if I didn’t get you the carne asada tacos.”

“I love you,” you cheered, kissing his cheek. Wiping his cheek in disgust, the man grimaced and turned away, unamused.

“What about me?” Neha complained.

“Get your own damn tacos,” came Stuart’s blunt reply.

“Rude!”

You pulled out your laptop, browsing the internet and your calendar as you sat in silence. The only sound between your trio was the crunching of food and the slurping of drinks, joined by occasional typing of your keyboards. Three laptops covered the table, joined by the scattered cups and food wrappers. It wasn’t unusual for your group to not interact. It was the peace of being with each other that gave you solace during lunch. No words needed to be shared unless there was something that needed to be discussed.

But, seeing as you saw their faces five days a week for nine to ten hours, if not more, you were able to have plenty of conversations to pass the work time.

You leaned back in your seat, watching some stupid video on Youtube your friend shared. Neha was typing furiously on her laptop, her smile curling occasionally - probably flirting with some tech guy again. Stuart was nose deep in his phone once more, his fingers skillfully swiping at the keyboard. He was hunched forward with his elbows on his knees, letting you run your fingers along his back absentmindedly, It helped him relax; it helped you relax. Only you were allowed to touch him like that. He always said he liked your light touch.

Perks of best friendship.

“Hey, Y/N,” Stuart called. You glanced over at him in confusion, Stuart’s phone held up in selfie mode. Your head cocked to the side, unable to smile before he snapped the photo. You blinked once, scooting closer to his side to look at the photo.

“Stu, I look horrible in that!” you cried sadly. Stuart held a cute dorky, lopsided smile in the photo and you? You looked like a deer in headlights, confused why the nerd specimen beside you was calling out for you. You eyes were wide and your lips were slightly parted, head cocked ever so slightly.

“Not possible,” he said quickly, typing away on his phone. You leaned your chin on his shoulder, watching what he was doing. He had sent the photo in a chat it seemed. “I know, I should have asked first, but my friends wanted to see you.”

“You have friends?”

“Very funny,” he snapped. “They’re my best friends from home. They didn’t believe me when I said I you were my friend. They couldn’t believe that I, Stuart Twombly, had a girl friend. So, they wanted proof!”

You blinked, looking at him. “Girl… friend?”

“Yeah. A girl that is a friend,” he said, his head turning towards you. His eyes narrowed on your blank face. “What?”

“Your friends asked about you having a friend that is a girl?” He nodded slowly. “Because you told them you have a girl… friend.”

“Yeah,” he said, almost matter-of-fact.

“You didn’t think to tell them you have a female friend?” You continued.

“What’s the difference?” he asked, not understanding what you were trying to say. “Female, girl. Same thing in the end.”

“Alright, let me try saying it like this,” you tried. “Stuart has a female friend.”

“Yeah.”

“Or,” you breathed. “Stuart has a girl friend.” He blinked. “Oh my God, Stu. Girlfriend! They think you have a girlfriend! As in romantically. As in you are dating! As in you just sent them a picture of us so they think I am your girl.”

“You are my girl though.”

“Not like that!” You cried. “They think you kiss me. And we hold hands. And probably other perverted things because guys are fucking horn dogs and only think with the cocks.”

“Hey,” he sighed, almost offended.

“You can’t say you don’t,” you glared. “Need I remind you about the strip club? Or that time I walked into your dorm and you were-”

“We don’t talk about that!” he blushed, cutting you off before Neha could hear. “We agreed never to bring that up again.”

“Porn is normal,” you whispered under your breath for him to hear. “Masturbating is normal.”

“But you seeing me jerk off isn’t,” he seethed. “But, you’re wrong. These guys have known me for years. They are the only people I was able to talk to in high school. They know me and they know that I don’t mean girlfriend. Just wait and see when they reply.”

“Ten bucks says they think we’re dating,” you huffed, grabbing your phone from your bag. You stayed pressed to his side, arms wrapped around his bicep, hugging him close. Stuart didn’t protest, just resumed what he was doing before his group chat popped up you assumed. You smiled at the lock screen, a group photo of your team when you went out for dinner your first day on the job. Everyone was drunk and acting silly, but it was a night to remember.

You quickly unlocked your phone, giggling at the home screen. It was of you and Stuart, his goofy smile present on his face. He wasn’t wearing his glasses, having taken them off while you were studying in his room that day. You were pressed to his side, similar to how you were now, licking his face playfully. His words replayed in your mind, him scolding you for such a thing. “Don’t fucking slobber on me, your punk. I will lick you back!” He never followed through, but his reaction made you laugh and fall off his bed.

“Stu,” you said in a sing-song voice. “Let’s selfie!”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Pretty please?”

“No!”

“I will lick you again.”

“Fine.”

You grinned, Stuart turning to your camera, allowing you to take multiple selfies of you both making silly faces. You added a few Snapchat filters for fun, laughing between each photo. The final one was using this flower filter, flowers hover above both your heads and he leaned over, placing a firm kiss to your cheek. It was something Stuart did occasionally before hugging you close to him, constantly thanking you for being there for him. It was his subtle way of showing affection for his best friend and never once did you feel like it was something more. The butterflies in your stomach arose just by being by his side, the friendship between you both making your mood lift easily.

You didn’t like him romantically. It was just friendship.

Stuart stared at the final result, scowling. His tongue clicked against the roof of his mouth, shaking you off his arm to elan back. “Send that to me,” he whispered lowly, biting at his cheek. “It’s cute.”

“Never say that again,” you giggled, leaning back against the couch with him. You did as he asked regardless, tucking your phone away. “The word cute does not fit coming from your mouth.”

“Fuck you.”

“That’s better,” you smiled.

His phone chimed before he could retort, his lips tugging into a smirk. “Time to prove you wrong,” he grinned, opening the chat he had with his friends, effectively titled “404! Group Name Does Not Exist”, which made you giggle. The chat bubbles were popping up quickly, responding the Stuart’s crappy photo of you and him.

[Not a Disney Prince: Omfg Stu has a girlfriend. And she is hot as balls!]

[Memester: He wasn’t joking. This isn’t a drill guys! Stuart Twombly is dating the most beautiful girl in the world]

[Bananas Aren’t Just For Eating: What if he just conned some girl into posing with him?]

[Bananas Aren’t Just For Eating: How can we be sure he’s not playing us?]

[Not a Disney Prince: DON’T RUIN MY DREAM, GREG. OUR BOI IS NO LONGER SINGLE FINALLY.]

[Memester: I’m so proud. Our boi’s getting action finally. Did you fuck her yet?]

[Memester: Like… was she good?]

[Memester: Don’t hold out on us, dude. Deets.]

[Not a Disney Prince: He’s a prude. He’s probably still a virgin LOL]

[Memester: I just want what is best for him! I want him happy, healthy and laid by his hot gf because come on. Stu needs to be laid. And with her? I approve of him losing her virginity finally.]

[Bananas Aren’t Just For Eating: Guys, he’s not a virgin. He lost it in college, remember?]

[Memester: …]

[Not a Disney Prince: Were we drunk when he told us?]

[Bananas Aren’t Just For Eating: Hammered.]

That’s there the chat ended. The phone slipped from Stuart’s hand, his eyes wide with disbelief. His lips parted, ragged breaths escaping. It felt like he was on the verge of a panic attack, his hands shaking. “No, no, no,” he panted, his hands knotted in his hair. The man tugged anxiously at his locks, mumbling to himself, “This can’t be happening. Fuck, no. This can not be happening.”

“Stu, it’s fine,” you whispered, picking up from phone from the ground. You held it out for him, Stuart making no move to take the device from you. “Why not just tell them it’s a misunderstanding? Accidents like this happen. It’s just a miscommunication. Just tell them we aren’t dating. We are just friends.”

“No,” he replied shortly, shaking his head. “I can’t.”

“Can’t? Why not?”

“I can’t,” he breathed, clammy hands rubbing to his jeans. “You just don’t get it. I can’t tell them that. They’re my best friends…”

“Stuart, that doesn’t make sense. Why can’t you tell them?” You pried lightly. You placed your hands on his, his having clasped together in his fit of anxiety.

“I can’t,” he cried quietly. “I can’t lose them.”

“Stu?”

“I’ve never had many friends, Y/N. These are the only friends I have outside of you guys. And I’ve always been the… the nerd of the group. And I can’t imagine what they will say if I tell them I’m still single. It’s just… They’ll unfriend me because I’m just lame. I’m not cool. I’m not manly. I don’t fit in. I’m turning twenty-three soon and I’ve never had a girlfriend while they’ve had plenty. They joke enough that I’ll end up alone but if I tell them they’re wrong, they’ll leave me forever. I just want to fit in with these guys. I want them to know that I can have a beautiful girl too. That I’m capable to dating, not just computer shit. I don’t want them to look down on me because of this. I can’t…”

You frowned, sympathizing with the man. Even if it was a horrible decision, you understood why he was acting this way. You had your fair share of friends leave you for stupid things, especially when it came to not fulfilling their expectations. And Stuart had the extra pressure of being ‘manly’ to them, even if you thought it didn’t matter. Guys were complex and had this need to stand up to their friends views, showing how cool they could be. Stuart wasn’t the most manly man around, but he wanted to fit in with his friends as much as you would want to with friends back home. He was scared of losing the people closest to him, the fear of them making fun of him and leaving him for good for something as stupid as a miscommunication hanging over his head, and you couldn’t argue with that alone.

You sighed, giving him a small hug. Stuart sunk into your hold, massaging his face. “What do I do?”

“I don’t know,” you sighed.  

His phone chimed again, both of you staring at the messages that popped up.

[Memester: Isn’t Stu coming home in like… a week?]

[Not a Disney Prince: Oh yeah! HE IS.]

[Bananas Aren’t Just For Eating: So, why doesn’t he bring his girl with him? I’d love to meet her. Any girl that can win Stu’s heart must be awesome.]

[Memester: Greg, as always, makes the best suggestion in the world. I wanna meet her too! We need to meet this girl and find out why she is dating someone so far out of her league!]

[Not a Disney Prince: Hey! That’s our friend, Joe. We are supposed to be happy that he found a girl that is obviously smart, beautiful, and can stand his sarcastic ass for more than five minutes.]

[Memester: I am happy! It’s just… did you see her? Maybe she is a Stuart clone and we don’t know it though? That’s why he got such an awesome girl finally. He held off until he found a perfect female specimen!]

[Not a Disney Prince: STUART TWOMBLY. CAN YOU BRING YOUR GIRL HOME WITH YOU WHEN YOU COME VISIT? WE WANNA GET TO KNOW HER! SHE SEEMS COOL AS FUCK]

[Bananas Aren’t Just For Eating: Why all caps?]

[Not a Disney Prince: Emphasis.]

Stuart pursed his lips, staring at his phone in thought. His head turned to you, leaving you to melt in his orbs. He looked almost like a lost puppy, the liquid caramel color dripping over you. His glasses always made them darker - the color more like honey without them - but they were beautiful. Your heart broke slightly at the lost look he held, a spark of something unknown hiding in his slightly dilated pupils. His tongue ran over his lips, wetting them. He ruffled his hair, the ends sticking up more than before. He wanted to speak, his mouth opening and closing multiple times in an attempt to mold his scattered thoughts into coherent strings of words.

“I think I have an idea,” he finally choked out. “But, you have full right to decline.”

“What is it?” you asked hi, blinking slowly. He laced his fingers together, his foot tapping rapidly to the floor. You could see beads of sweat building on his forehead, a clear sign of his nervousness. You hesitated briefly before reaching forward, taking his hands in yours. “Stuart, you can ask me anything. I’m here to help.”

“Go on a date with me.”

His words were so fast, you were caught off guard. Your mouth opened, closing when nothing but a short croak came out. Stuart cast you a short glance, his eyes pleading with you with inaudible words. Your hands around his tightened subconsciously, letting out a shaky breath. “C-come again?”

“Maybe I should clarify,” he whispered. “Go on a fake date with me. I’m going home in a week. I haven’t seen these guys in months. Y-you can come with me as my… as my fake girlfriend just to show them that they are right. Then, we get back, we can fake break up because we thought it was better to stay friends. Then they won’t pick up on the lie. Everyone’s happy! I just… I’m scared of them finding out the truth and they leave me. So just one small, fake little date, appease my friends, and we can go on with our lives.”

“Why me?” you asked him. His eyes fell to the carpet, pondering for a second before he spoke.

“Because you’re my best friend and I trust you to do this with me. You know me better than anyone and I can’t do this without you.”

You stayed quiet, biting your lip. Something swirled in your gut, the feeling wrenching from side to side. I felt wrong to lie but, at the same time, it felt right to agree. It would just be one night. What harm could it do, right? He was your best friend and he made you happier than ever. Why not make him happy for once?

“Alright,” you finally squeaked, Stuart turning to look at you. “Anything for you, Stu. You are my best friend. You are one of a kind. Besides, how can I say no to a hot nerd like you?” Stuart chuckled, shaking his head. “Tell your friends I’m in. And… come by tonight. We will come up with a game plan for this fake date.”

“You,” he breathed, pulling you into a rare but tight hug. His arms looped around you with ease, crushing you to his chest. “You are a literal angel. What did I do to deserve you?”

“You got stuck with me during the internship and I wouldn’t leave you alone,” you laughed. “We just click, Stu.”

“Yeah,” he said, a small smile on his phone. “I’ll be over around seven tonight, We have a week to prepare. We need to know everything about each other. No holes. My friends will pick up on them and they’re going to want to make sure you are ‘right’ for me.”

“So,” you hummed, nuzzling into his cheek. “Studying!”

“Yeah,” he grimaced, poking at his ear. “Assuming I’m not deaf.”

“Get over it,” you laughed, kissing his cheek. “I’m gonna head back to work. Don’t forget. Studying, tonight, seven sharp. Bring pizza!”

Stuart waved you off, whipping out his phone to reply to his friends. You caught a short glance at his words as you packed your bag, gathering your garbage.

[Tech Lord: She’ll be coming with me because of you losers. Just… don’t scare her away please. She’s too good to lose.]

You smiled to yourself, tossing your stuff and rushing from the room, skirt flowing behind you.

~

Over the next week, you spent ever waking spare second of the day curled up on your bed in your tiny apartment, boxes of chinese or pizza lining the floor, crumbs covering your sheets from your constant snacking. You had your share of laughs and cries, nose buried in books and notes, practicing until things were perfect.

The first night, Stuart had shown up at seven sharp as promised. His arms were full of books and albums, the man stumbling into your apartment before they fell to the floor. He was determined to have you learn every bit of his life, forming you into the perfect ‘girlfriend’ his friends would approve of. You, too, had gathered materials from your past, wanting to make sure that every base was covered when you confronted his friends that weekend. Your answers needed to match perfectly because one slight slip up would tip them off.

Every night, you would be tested on your knowledge of the other. Likes, dislikes, music taste, college degree, relatives, first pets, allergies. Hell, even awkward things like puberty and first times came up. In those few days, you realized something. In the time you had known Stuart Twombly, the glasses wearing nerd becoming your closest friend in all of San Francisco, you never realized how eerily similar you were. You had similar pasts - bullies, choice of college, family drama. You had the exact same tastes, be it music, food or even movies. You would turn to blasting your favorite songs until your neighbors were banging at the door, letting the tunes relax you while you took turns on flash cards of the others past.

By day four or five, you weren’t sure at this point, Stuart had the bright idea to practice actual relationship gestures. If you were to be his fake girlfriend, you had to show it. His friends knew Stuart wasn’t the type for a lot of PDA, but they would want to see some sort of affection towards your respective other. If you sat stoic side by side in front of them, they would call you out for sure.

Hugs were easy. Stuart didn’t seem like it, but he was a giant teddy bear to you. He liked to cuddle during your movie nights. He hugged you good morning and good night as a normal greeting and goodbye wherever you were. His arm casually found its way around your shoulders when you were sat on the same couch, his nose not buried in his phone and his fingers not typing away on his laptop rapidly. He was used to you in his arms; it was your normal position and everyone knew it. Nick and Billy were always jealous too because Stuart nearly punches them in the gut every time they try to touch him.

The hand holding felt weird at first. It took a while to figure out how to hold his hand properly. One way was too uncomfortable while another would be sweaty. One wasn’t super romantic while one looked like he was ready to drag you to a hotel and ravish your body. When your fingers laced together, fingers tingling from the feeling of his soft skin, things felt right. Your hand fit in his exactly, the lines of your palms matching flawlessly. It surprised you how seamlessly your hands melded together - it’s like they were meant to be clasped together in a tight hold.

The most nerve wracking was practicing kisses. You were used to kissing his cheek playfully but that was it. The thought of kissing your best friend made a shiver run up your spine, your nerves through the roof. And no matter how many times he reassured you that it wouldn’t ever be big kisses - that short, chaste kisses would suffice - you would remain freaking out internally and externally. During practice, you backed out a few times whenever he got close, a wave of panic setting in before his lips could touch yours. A few times, he would be leaning in and his hand slipped from under him, landing in your lap instead of your lips that lead to a round of laughter that lasted ten minutes at a time. When you finally got a kiss out, it was like fireworks explode, your limbs giving away even though you were sitting on the bed. It was beyond perfect, and got better with each short kiss to follow.

The night before your trip to Oakland where Stuart was from, he was staying with you. You were deep in thought as he wandered your apartment in nothing but his usual sweats, making sure everything was ready for the short drive. The entire week, you were debating with yourself. You were feeling odd with the entire situation, and it wasn’t because of the lie you were partaking in.

It was Stuart himself.

Whenever you looked at him, your heart would race. Whenever he did something, your body would heat up. The look in his eyes made you melt inside. But you shook it away regardless. There was no way you were feeling anything for him. Stuart had been your friend since the early days of the Google internship. He was the only person you could bring yourself to talk to due to shyness and you were the only person he could stand to talk to reasonably. He was your best friend and there was no way it was more than that.

Right?

This isn’t a crush, you tried to convince yourself, pushing the butterflies in your stomach out forcibly, shoveling the feelings into a grave to never see the light again. But no matter what you did, a small sliver would slip through again, making you question what was going on. And as you watched the shirtless man walk out of your bathroom, a gentle look in his honey eyes that weren’t shielded by thick black frames for once, you felt your crack once more, a small ounce of fear settled deep inside you, rooted at your core.

He gave you a tender kiss to the forehead before retreating to the living room, collapsing on the couch. The lights went out around you, your mind too preoccupied to let you sleep. You spent hours staring at the wall until you let yourself drift off, asking yourself quietly if you liked Stuart. Stuart was barely able to sleep himself. He stared at the ceiling, his fingers grazing his lips, the touch of yours still lingering more than twenty-four hours later, your last practice kiss being the prior day. His mind raced with thoughts, the man unable to clear them to find the answer he sought.

Neither of you would admit that things were deeper than you thought.   

~

“Hey! Guys!” Stuart yelled to the three guys that were standing in front of the restaurant. Stuart left your side to run towards them, the three guys cheering and meeting the Googler halfway. They were tackled into a tight hug, the foursome letting out incoherent words at each other.

You were running late, the original plan of Stuart hanging with his high school buddies delayed by multiple things. The car wouldn’t start so you left later than you wanted. Stuart had to make a stop by his parents house, leaving you in the car for over and hour before you snuck out, wandering down the street to a local park. His parents didn’t know about this fake dating fiasco and he wanted to keep it that way. It was bad enough lying to his friends. He didn’t want to lie to his parents too just for you to supposedly break up days later.

By the time you were able to meet with his friends, the sky had grown dark, the time nearing seven. Your stomach was growling when you climbed into his car, yet you were elated when he mentioned you would be joining his friends for dinner at this fancy Italian restaurant in town. You were there shortly after, his friends already waiting for your imminent arrival. And the second Stuart was parked, he was running through the parking lot.

Stuart pulled from his hug when you were slowly walking over, shaking his friends off to grab your hand. Your fingers laced together as practiced, Stuart tugging you towards the group of boys. “Y/N, I want to introduce you to my best friends. Joe, Flynn and Greg.” The three guys waves in unison, you returning with your own shortwave. “Guys, this is Y/N. My girlfriend.”

Your smile fell slightly, catching the short stutter in his voice at announcing that, but his friends didn’t seem to catch his short hiccup. They all greeted you happily, pulling you from Stuarts hold to give you tight hugs. Stuart held a sour look on his face, disliking the closeness of his friends on you. The first chance he got, you were tugged back to his side, his arm securely wrapped around his waist. You fidgeted slightly in his hold, nestling closer to him regardless.

“I hate to be the one to ask,” you chimed in, all four sets of eyes turning to you. A red hot blush filled your face, making you nervous. “C-Can we eat now? I’m starving.”

“I like her,” Flynn said, pointing at you. “Get you a girl that can eat.”

“We haven’t even seen her eat,” Greg pointed out, walking towards the restaurant with Flynn by his side. “What is all she eats is salad?”

“Naw. I can tell. She’s a pasta loving girl,” Flynn reassured. “I have this food sense!”

“Sorry about them,” Joe laughed, walking with you and Stuart inside. “They’re stupid.”

“No, they’re nice,” you giggled, Stuart smiling to himself. “But, I really am starving. Don’t expect me to share any breadsticks.”

Joe laughed, nudging Stuart. “She’s a keeper, dude.”

Dinner was slightly awkward. You were able to maintain a proper conversation with the three new en in your life, Stuart chiming in occasionally to back up your words on something. But that was the easy part. Just like Stuart, you got along with his friends easily, understanding why Stuart was as close as he was with them. But it was, once again, Stuart that made your heart rate skyrocket. Your foot tapped against the ground, Stuart’s hand placed on your knee for some unknown reason. The guys couldn’t see it, so it wasn’t necessary. But the familiar heat of his touch bled into your bare knee, making you antsy.

“I don’t get how you can put up with this nerd,” Flynn laughed, handing the waiter his card for payment. You tried to protest, Stuart’s comrades repeating their desire to cover dinner since you had come out to visit. Stuart had moved his hand behind your chair, leaned back as he listened to the conversation. His eyes were glued to the side of you face, watching you laugh at Flynn’s remark.

“I dunno,” you hummed. “We just click I guess.”

“Same,” Joe laughed. “We were the fantastic four in high school, even if no one knew us. We didn’t seem like we fit together, but we were the best of friends. We had all agreed to stick together through thick and thin. Then this fool up and left us.”

“Hey, you can’t blame me!” Stuart protested.

“What happened?” you asked.

“This fool,” Flynn started, pointing a leftover breadstick at Stuart, “decided he was gonna abandon our plan to all go to Stanford because he wanted to go to Berkeley. He had full ride and everything and he gave it up.”

“Really?” you asked. You glanced at Stuart, his face a pale pink. “You gave up Standford for Berkeley? Why would you do that?”

“Better computer science program,” he said with ease. “Not like it mattered anyway. You all ended up at different schools anyway.”

“True,” Greg laughed. “Trust me, none of us were mad that he changed his path. We get it. You go where your heart tells you. We all kept in touch regardless. And we’re glad Stu was able to get where he is now. Google was always his dream after all.”

“You know,” you hummed, looking at Stuart. “I went to Stanford.”

“Oh my God!” Flynn yelled. “You squandered meeting her earlier because of your college choice? I am salty now.”

“It’s just a few years,” Stuart clarified. “Besides, I have her now, guys. That’s all I need.” He placed a kiss to your cheek, making you blush.

“You guys are sickening,” Joe fake gagged, everyone laughing. “But seriously. It’s been nice having you home, even if it’s just for dinner, Stu. We miss you around here.”

“I know, guys. It’s just hard to get away with everything back in San Fran,” he sighed. “Always busy with something.”

“Something. Or someone?” Flynn laughed, giving you both a wink. Stuart flipped him off, your head buried in his shoulder to hide your embarrassment.

“We get it, bro,” Greg reassured. “We’re just glad you’re happy. You have a great job and a great girl to share your life with. It’s nice to see you smile.”

Stuart gave a half-hearted smile, the weight of the lie on his shoulders. Your own frown was hidden, feeling his tense and knowing what he was thinking. I just lied my ass off to my best friends.

Your party headed out to the parking lot, Stuart twirling his keys. “I hate to cut the night early, but we are heading home. It’s been a long day and we have to drive home tomorrow.”

“Aw, come on Stu,” Flynn whined. “We barely get to see you. And it’s barely eight! We have time still!”

“We should hit the bar!” Joe offered. “The Dutch Pot guys? Best drinks in town?”

“Hell yeah!” Flynn and Greg cheered. Stuart frowned.

“I don’t know guys…”

“Come on, Stuart,” the guys pleaded.

“You are barely ever in town. Just a few more hours. That’s all we ask.”

“We just want to spend a little more time with you before you go back to your fancy Google life.”

“Just one drink. Please?”

Stuart looked down at you his eyes asking what his mouth didn’t. You nodded, squeezing his hand that was clasped in yours. “One drink won’t hurt, Stu.”

The man sighed, ruffling his hair. “Fine. One drink.

“One drink!” the guys cheered.

~

One drink didn’t happen.

It started with a round of shots. The one turned into two. Two turned to four. The four turned into a bottle each, the guys being kind enough to order a margarita since you didn’t care for the taste of their beer. And before you knew it, your small group was beyond buzzed, laughing and chatting happily amongst each other.

You spent time playing random drinking games, drinks being downed left and right. You were even dragged to the dance floor, your body ending up pressed firmly to Stuarts. Your hips grinded against each other, the slight blur pushing all of your skeptical emotions away. His arms were wrapped firmly around you, pulling you taut to him, your sweaty bodies moving in sync. You had unbuttoned his shirt, leaving it flopping open to reveal his dark undershirt, hands running up his torso to his neck. His hands pushed against the small of your back, shirt hiked up around your waist. The skirt you decided to wear rode up whenever you pushed your ass into him, Stuart groaning in your ear.

When the current song ended, you stumbled back to the table, the three guys sitting there with bottles in their hands.

“Have fun?” Greg asked, sipping his drink with a lazy smile. “You looked like you were.”

“It was a lot of fun,” you told him, sitting in your seat. Stuart flopped next to you, pulling you against him.

“You know. It’s weird,” Joe hummed aloud. “The entire night, we haven’t even seen you guys kiss.”

“Are you the non-PDA kind of couple?” Flynn asked.

“I guess you could say that,” you chimed when Stuart didn’t respond.

“Well, break your little code just for once. Give us a kiss guys!” Flynn cheered. You and Stuart shared a glance, shrugging in unison. You leaned forward, placing a short kiss to his lips, the touch tingling. Feel accomplished that you were able to do it so easily, you smiled at him, Stuart returning it. But when you sat back, his friends seemed unimpressed.

“Lame!” Joe whined. “That’s not a kiss!”

“What?” Stuart grumbled. ���Of course it was. Maybe you’re facing drunk blindness or something.”

“I can see perfectly!” Joe claimed.

“It was lame,” Greg hiccuped. “Give her a better one!”

“A nice, sloppy, juicy lucy!”

“That’s a sandwich,” you deadpanned.

“You know what I mean!” Flynn cried. “The sloppiest, wettest, most passionate kiss in the world! Do it, guys!”

The guys started chanting ‘do it, do it” repeatedly, the words getting louder every time it circled around. The words kept hitting your ears over and over again, making you nervous. Stuart rubbed your shoulder to calm you, only making it worse. He tried to protest, but the guys weren’t having it.

“Alright!” he finally cut them off. You said nothing, turning in your seat to face Stuart completely. You felt your palms sweat, shifting uncomfortably against the leather booth. Stuart licked his lips slowly, leaning in slowly. Your heart was hammering to your chest, your only thought being Fuck, we didn’t practice this. What if I suck?

But when his lips hit yours, you instantly melted into it, arms moving around his neck. His arms moved to your waist, pulling you closer to him. Your heads tilted in opposite directions, allowing you to get closer. His lips tasted of the bitter liquid he had been consuming, but you didn’t mind. They were still soft, enveloping yours completely in a passionate connection. He didn’t push to go further, but from what you were already doing, the world around you didn’t exist. All that mattered was him and the way he was making you feel. The kiss made your stomach knot and your skin burn.

You craved more.

He pulled away slowly, licking his lips once more. Your eyes fluttered open, your mind racing to figure out when they closed. Your hands were shaking slightly, layers of bewilderment running through your veins. You stared at his face, noting how pink lips that were slightly puckered still, swollen from the single kiss. His eyes were closed, his eyelids fluttering with the movement of his orbs behind them. Your body heated up, ready to lean in again.

Your heart nearly stopped before you did though. You were holding your best friend in such an intimate way, the shrill wolf whistles of his friends cutting through the muffled sounds in your ears, blood flowing quickly in them. You had kissed him and you found yourself wanting more. You admired the way he looked, admitting how handsome he looked. It felt good to have him pressed against you, and it wasn’t in a friendship sense.

It was like the alcohol was gone in a snap, your mind sobered. I think I like Stuart, you told yourself. Maybe it was the alcohol, but the feelings that lingered weren’t the friendship you always told yourself it was. And it scared you.

“Excuse me,” you whispered, not caring that you straddled Stuart to slip from the booth, your chest hitting his face and knocking his glasses into a lopsided position. Stuart finally opened his eyes, going to stand to join you, ready to say something. But you were gone, quick steps caring you towards the bathrooms. Stuart frowned, sitting back in his seat. He was handed a beer, Stuart not hesitating in drinking.

“That was hot,” Flynn grinned, Stuart glaring.

“Fuck off.”

Inside the bathroom, you were hunched over the sink, ignoring the looks of random strangers behind you. Your ragged breathing came out in wispy gasps, tears threatening to spill over the rims of your eyes. You quickly turned on the cold water, ignoring your hours worth of makeup to splash the droplets to your skin.

“Stuart is just my friend,” you tried to tell yourself over and over again. My insane handsome, funny, smart, sarcastic best friend. I kissed my best friend. I can’t like him more than that. It’s just friendship.” You paused, glancing at yourself in the mirror. Your lips still tingled from him, the memory replaying in your mind without end. The more it replayed, the more your heart sped up, your body burning with intensity. “No, no, no. This isn’t happening. He’s Stuart. I-I can’t…”

You thought back on the years of knowing him, from the second you met in the hall for the internship to the days sent in your apartment studying every aspect of your lives. You remembered the joy you felt from him, bewilderment raining over you as you learned everything you had in common. You thought about how comfortable he made you; cuddling in his arms randomly, hanging out and watching tv, hugging him multiple times a day, and even the rare tears he would wipe away from failed dates. He was always there for you, yet the giddy feeling you felt every time was overlooked, written off as the extreme friendship you had instead of romantic emotions. Now that you looked back on it all, you were sure you were wrong, having lied to yourself since the first time he pulled you into his arms willingly for a hug.

“I have a crush on my best friend. Fuck!”

You stayed leaning against the sink for a few more minutes, allowing your breathing to regulate slightly and the tears to cease. You splashed water to your face again, drying it before attempting to apply a quick layer of makeup to hide the redness from your crying. Once you were satisfied, you dropped them back into the bag that hung on your side, taking one more deep breath. You pouted at yourself before shaking your head, slow steps carrying you towards the door. You hand met the handle, one thought crossing your mind. This fake date was the worst decision ever.

You made it back into the center of the bar, spotting the table the guys were at. Not eager to return to the drunken idiots, you wandered towards the bar, thinking to wash down your sorrows in alcohol. Sliding into the empty bar seat, the bartender sent you a smile.

“What’ll it be, sweet cheeks?” he asked.

“Something strong,” you pleaded. The bartender, whose name tag read ‘Thomas’ , nodded, turning to make what you requested. You didn’t watch what he put in it, opting to smile when it was placed in front of you. “How much?”

“On me,” he chuckled. You sent him an odd look, Thomas giving a small smile. “I know boy trouble when I see it.”

“Oh.”

“I saw you run off not too long ago,” he said. You gave him an odd look. “I’ve worked here for a long time, sweetheart. You get used to paying attention to everything.”

“Right…”

“Care to talk about it?”

You hesitated, sipping the drink in front of you. Your face puckered at the bitter taste, shaking it to rid yourself of the strong taste. Thomas chuckled, leaning on the bar. You finally caved after another sip. “I have a crush on my best friend.”

“I don’t see the problem then,” Thomas hummed thoughtfully. “Relationships are best when it’s with your best friend. My mom always told me to be friends first then lovers.”

“But, he’s my best friend. I can’t love my best friend.”

“Well, you seemed pretty loving earlier,” he quipped. “Dancing, kissing, holding hands?”

“Yeah, well, it’s not real,” you pouted. “Its all fake. I agreed to be his fake girlfriend just to show his friends that he was capable of having one. One stupid picture and wrong words made them think that we are dating. It was all a misunderstanding but here I am, pining over my nerdy best friend because he’s just… perfect. He’s so cute. He’s handsome and funny and smart. He’s sarcastic to boot. But we work so well together and I can’t picture myself without him. And it hurts because after tonight, we will go back to being friends. But I don’t know if I want that. How can I possibly go back to how things were after tonight? We were so worried about his friends accepting me and for Stuart to fit in like he wanted, for Stuart to not lose his friends, we didn’t even think about what would happen!”

You weren’t sure why you spilled your guts to him, your heart on your sleeve to this unknown man, but he smiled at your words, taking you hand. “Sweetheart, it’s fine. Things like this happen. And it happens when you least expect it. Sure, this is fake now, but who says that next week it won’t be real?”

“Because he doesn’t like me like that.”

“I doubt that. He looked pretty upset when you ran off,” Thomas claimed. “And it wasn’t the kind of look that says his best friend ran off. It was the kind of look that says the girl he liked ran off.”

“Yeah, right.”

“I guarantee it,” he laughed. “You just can’t give up. Because something good will come from this. Who knows, maybe this isn’t as fake as you think.”

“I doubt that,” you sighed. “But how are you so good at giving relationship advice?”

“Because I was in a similar situation once with my boyfriend, Isaac,” Thomas admitted. “We were ‘dating’ girls so no one would know that we were into each other. But it made us stronger because we realized how good we are for each other. And that was five years ago. We’re still going strong. The fakeness around our relationship made our relationship something we can’t forget.”

“That’s actually really sweet,” you laughed, Thomas smiling. “Thank you. I really needed that.”

“Anytime, sweetheart. You guys are cute together, so I’m rooting for you. I hope you have soe success after this little fake date. Don’t let your feelings be fake, either.”

“Oh, witty, ain’t ya?” you joked, Thomas grinning.

“Isaac loves it.”

You didn’t notice Stuart’s eyes glued to your from from his seat the man slouched deep in the leather booth with his hands in his pockets. His teeth gnawed at his bottom lip, his eyes narrowing when the bartender took your hand in his. He couldn’t hear what you were saying to each other, but his gut wrenched in discomfort from the short action. It twisted even more when he picked up on the faint echo of your laugh over the music, Stuart bouncing unhappily.

You were his fake date for the night. Sure, his friends were drunk off their asses, but that didn’t give you any right to flirt with the bartender, especially in front of him. Watching you smile and laugh hurt, his heart aching. He was pissed, but he was also sad. His fake girlfriend wasn’t by his side. His best friend wasn’t by his side.

He wasn’t going to have it. He stood from the booth quickly, pushing past people quickly. His hand wrapped around you upper arm, your eyes wide as you turned to him. “Can we talk?” he insisted harshly through gritted teeth. You frowned slightly, opening your mouth only to shut it quickly. “Please. Like, right now? It’s important.”

“Stuart, I don’t know,” you started, Stuart tugging you off the seat.

“Just come on,” he growled, tugging you away. Thomas sent you a sad look, giving you a wave. Your drink was left half finished, your body dragged through the crowd by your nerd of a crush. You stumbled behind him, arm beginning to hurt from his hold. His long legs carried him forward quickly, your own strides having difficulting keeping up with him.

“Stu, can you slow down?” you asked, Stuart not answering. “Stu, answer me.” Still nothing. His lack of response made you plant your feet, ripping your arm from his grasp. “Stuart, will you just stop?!”

He turned to you instantly, eyes flaring. Neither of you cared that you were in the middle of the dance floor, drunken idiots dancing around you. “What gave you any right to do that?” he snapped.

“Do what?” you snapped back, not backing down. “Get a drink at the bar?”

“No!” he yelled over the music. “What gave you any right to flirt with the bartender? Especially in front of me!”

“Flirt with the bartender?”

“Yes!” he practically screamed.

“Even if that were true, Stu, you seem to forget that this is a fake date. I’m not your girlfriend. This entire thing is not real!”

“I don’t care!” he hollered. “I can’t sit around watching you do that. It hurts too much to see you flirting with him. I care about you too much to watch it. I watched you run off, worried that I did something wrong, and then this? I can’t stop feeling like… like I’m losing you. I don’t care that this is a fake date! You are my girlfriend and I can’t stand seeing you talking to him. My heart hurts.”

“Stuart…”

He rubbed his lips together, massaging his jaw. “I can’t stop thinking like this, alright? I can’t stop this twisting inside me knowing that you weren’t by my side. You should have been flirting with me. I can’t watch you flirt with someone else when those words should be for me.”

You watched the man, surprise written all over your face. He just admitted that he wanted you to flirt with him instead of the bartender, even if you didn’t do what he thought. Your heart raced, slamming against your chest. Your eyes landed on his lips, admiring how perfectly plump and pink they were. His anger from before seemed to have subsided already, and now he was antsy, shifting between his feet like he wasn’t sure what to do next.

You launched forward, the fakeness of your date no longer weighing on your mind. The only thing you could think about was him. Your lips pressed his, arms wrapping around his neck to hold him close. Stuart didn’t wait to respond, his arms wrapping around your waist. He returned the kiss with the same amount of vigor, enveloping your lips with his. The sound of your lips pulling apart noisily and reconnected was washed out by the pounding music in the air. Your noses brushed together, teeth somewhat clashing whenever you leaned it. Sparks flew everytime you kissed him, your body smoldering hot in his arms. They weren’t fast kisses, but the passion level was out of this world. The taste of the alcohol on his lips mixed with his natural taste made you smile, giving him a flavor all his own. You mind was blank, nothing but him running through it.

The world around you seemed to vanish. The people dancing didn’t exist. The music was silent. The warm air was only because of your connected bodies. In that moment, with your hands on his cheeks and his moving down to grip your ass, nothing else mattered. Just the two of you in the middle of the bar, kissing like your life depended on it.

~

You stumbled together through the door, Stuart pushing you through the halls towards his room. It was a small apartment his parents continued to pay for for him so when he returned home, he had a place to stay without needed to be with his parents. They occasionally rented out the spare room in the apartment, but currently, it was unoccupied.

In retrospect, you should be glad you were in his apartment now. Alive, at that. You made the worst decision in the world, your common sense dulled by the alcohol allowing Stuart to drive you both home while intoxicated. Not the smartest decision, but your hormones were a bit haywire. He had broken a few speed limits on the way. It was also impressive that he was able to keep the wheel straight in his blurred, drunken vision, your lips pressed to his cheek and your hands running along his body. You tried to give him road head a few times, only managing to get his pants unbuttoned before he would do a sharp turn, your body flung from his lap. He was definitely antsy though with the teasing he got, jittering in his seat as he drove, overly anxious to get home - hence the speeding. You were glad, and surprised, that you weren’t pulled over with the number of traffic laws he had broken in the attempt to get home, and right now, you weren’t regretting the decision.

Tomorrow, you would though. When the hangover sets in and you remembered how you got there, you would probably vow to never drink and drive again.

Right now, your burning body was ready for more, Stuart’s touch making your blood pressure spike with desire. You were backed into the bedroom, your hands attempting to remove each others clothes. You struggled to walk and undress tripping over your own feet when you tried to pull his shirt over his head or he tried to pull and unhook your bra, your shirt left dangling on the doorknob of his bathroom. His pants were sliding down his hips, your skirt left in a heap in the hallway. Your heels clacked as you walked, Stuart bouncing to kicked his own shoes off.

Your kisses had grown messier in the tie between the dance floor and his room, strings of saliva connecting you together whenever he pulled away for air. Your tongues tangled together, his controlling for the most part, wandering your cheeks to memorize the shape and taste. His hands roamed your body as he kissed you, tugging your lip with his teeth. They were swollen from the intensity, the furious kissing making your lips hurt with want.

You bodies spun in an attempt to continue undressing. You were pushing his pants and boxers down eagerly, Stuart finally achieving his goal of unhooking your bra. But the second he pulled it free from your body, he fell back, his pants around his ankles making it hard to move. He let out a noise of surprise, falling back on the bed.

You smiled at him, dipping down to pull his pants from his legs. They were tossed behind you, breaking a lamp on the way, but you weren’t concerned with that. Your eyes narrowed on his exposed cock, licking your lips slowly at it. It was huge - larger than you were used to - with a swollen red tip. It twitched against his stomach, a string of precum connecting the tip to the happy trail of dark hair along his toned stomach. Stuart laid bare on his bed, crooked glasses on his nose as he propped himself up to watch you. He was definitely more handsome than you ever would have admitted, seeing him nude making your arousal rise. He was handsome; a toned stomach and chest, arms flexing under his weight, his giant cock twitching and ready for you, and his face staring down at you, moles lining his cheeks and his honey-caramel eyes turned a dark black. Your panties were soaked, your pussy throbbing and crying for attention.

“Fuck,” Stuart mumbled, watching you back away in nothing back your underwear and heels. You stood carefully, body wobbling from left to right uneasily to remove the heels. Your round breasts bounced with your movements, Stuart letting out raspy heaves. Your nipples were hard and taut, his mouth watering and his fingers itching to wrap around him, tugging at them. He watched you slowly shimmy from the wet panties, you ass exposed to him and your core dripping, juices running down the insides of your legs. “So hot.”

You said nothing to him, straddling him as you climbed atop him, pressing your lips to his in a steamy connection. Your tongues twisted together, swirling in circles, enjoying the taste that came from the other. Your bodies moved so you were properly laying on the bed, your nude bodies flesh against one another. His hands roamed yours as they had been since the kiss at the bar, yours tangling in his hair. Your groins rubbed against each other viciously, making your body shudder with arousal. Your core was throbbing more than before, yelling at you to do something to it.

Your lips left his, dragging down and tugging his lips with it. You kissed along his chest, flicking your tongue against his nipples to make him squirm. His breathing picked up, his eyes watching as red marks were left littering his chest. You continued down his body, licking his ab lines to his cock. You kissed it once before moving back up his body completely, connecting your lips in a sloppy, fast kiss. Your body slid up as you kissed his jawline until your lips left his skin completely, your core hovering over his face.

“Woah,” he breathed, inhaling your scent, his nose nuzzling into your clit. You mewled slightly, your nails clawing at the paint on his walls. His tongue ran through your folds, dipping into your core once before retracting. He let out a content sigh, his hands finding home on your ass. “It smells delicious. You taste even better than you smell. Fuck, I’m drooling, baby. I’m so hungry for you and your delicious pussy. Let me taste you, baby.”

“Please, Stu,” you whimpered, sinking further onto his face. He grunted happily, a low slurping coming from under you. His tongue rant through your folds repeatedly, lapping at your juices constantly. He would dip into your core, swirling circles inside you. He traced your walls, the tip smoothing over the sensitive nerves. It tapped at your g-spot, making you moan loudly. The buzz in your ears got louder, the alcohol that you had consumed making the pleasure even sweeter than normal. Or, maybe that was just him?

He made you feel amazing. He groaned against you, letting out low pants when he licked you harder and faster. He swapped between your core and your clit, spelling his name on the engorged nub and flicking it rapidly. His lips wrapped around your clit, sucking at it vigorously, tugging it with his lips. You moaned louder with each passing second, head falling back as he ravished your lady parts, loving them with extreme intensity. He ripped the moans from your throat, grinning against you.

You looked down at him, his eyes piercing into you. You couldn’t see below his eyes, but they remained unblinking, only closing occasionally to savor your fluids on his tongue. He watched your face contort happily, your breasts bouncing with the subtle thrusts of your hips. Your body shifted against his lips, pressing deeper onto him.

“Stu,” you whined. You could feel his body shuffling under you, your head turning to glance over your shoulder. His hand was wrapped around his cock, jerking it quickly, matching the pace of his mouth and tongue. The precum was smeared over the tip, his fingers wrapped tightly around his shaft as he stroked it. Your body heated up just at the sight, a trail of saliva dripping down your chin that you shamelessly wiped away with your hand. Watching him masturbate while eating you out was a dream you regretted never having because it was beyond sexy to see. “Fuck, Stu.”

You lifted off of him only to spin around, leaning over his body. Your core still pressed to his lips while your own lips replaced his hand. You bobbed along his length, Stuart ceasing his licks long to let out a long grunt. You moaned around him, the noise vibrating his cock. His licks resumed to match your bobs, your bodies moving in sync to please each other. Your nose was buried in the dark hairs at the base of his cock, the tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat. Stuart’s tongue moved to your clit, licking it rigidly until you were a quivering mess.

“I’m gonna cum,” he grunted against your core, sucking at the nub harder than before. You return the favor, tongue running along the vein on the underside of him, sucking his length harshly. His breathing quicken, your own nostrils flaring with increasing breaths. Your core knotted, unraveling quickly in a sea of fire. You were shaking violently, Stuart’s cock twitching against your cheeks. “Fuck, baby. I’m gonna cum.”

You sped up, urging him nonverbally to do as he wished. He let out a straggled grunt, his body convulsing under you. Streams of white, hot cum spilled from the tip, washing down your throat in waves. You swallowed every drop with difficulty, your own body quivering with your orgasm. Stuart let out a pleased nise the second your juices hit his tongue, the man selfishly lapping at every drop you released. He swallowed every last drop, same as you, savoring every second of it.

You pulled away, licking your lips clean of the droplets that escaped. Stuart was panting, his warm breath fanning over your core. Your desire spiked once more, your pussy contracting with want. You licked his tip teasingly, the shaft hardening from the simple action.

“Baby,” he whined, nuzzling his nose into your core. “You’re so wet still. God, you’re so wet. You must still be horny.”

“I am,” you let out in a raspy, seductive voice. You sat up from his cock, your body sliding down until you were situated on his pelvis. Your hips rolled against his, wet core making his shaft more slick than just with your saliva. Stuart grunted. Peering with dark eyes at your backside. “I want more.”

“Ride me,” he said in a husky tone. “Fuck me, baby.”

You smiled, though he couldn’t see it, lifting off his body to align him with your core, sliding down on his cock with a loud moan. Stuart groaned, letting his eyes close, relaxing under the pleasure of your tight pussy around him. You felt goosebumps run up your spine, stilling for a second to feel the pulsating of his cock against your walls, making your blood pump harder.

You circled your hips for a second before shifting forward, his cock sliding free from inside you. He was buried back instantly when you sat back, repeating the process steadily. Stuart moaned this time, his eyes cracking open to watch your ass move against him. Your body moved like a pro, rocking against him expertly. His cock emerged from your pussy soaked to the hilt, disappearing back in your tight hole with ease. Your ass jiggled timely with your motions, Stuart appreciating the way you looked as you rode him.

“You’re so hot, baby,” he gasped out, reaching forward to fondle your ass cheek. He gave it a gentle smack, making you squeal and shift against him. You moved against him faster, leaning farther forward. He coughed slightly at the new feeling, the feeling constricting around him more. “Oh, shit. So tight. You’re so tight.”

“You’re so big,” you whimpered loudly, head falling back, your hair whipping in different directions. Your sped up, Stuart thrusting up to meet your movements. “Oh God, Stuart.”

His fingers traced up your spine, his stomach tightening to keep himself upright. They tangled in your locks, tugging lightly at them. You moaned loudly, letting your head fall back more, Stuart’s tugs getting harder the faster you moved. You were on the verge of screaming, arching more from his touch.

He let go of your hair, arms wrapping around your waist. He sat up completely, your body halting. Stuart kissed along your shoulder blades until he hit your shoulder, sucking and nipping at your neck. You relaxed against him, mindlessly rubbing at your clit to please yourself. Your walls clung around him, making him bite and kiss harder at your neck. His hands moved to your chest, fondling them in the palms. He tweaked the nipples between the tips, tugging at them until they were stiff.

“Stu.”

“What, baby?” he breathed. “Do you like this? You like me playing with your nipples? Or do you wish I was sucking them?” He kissed your neck once, a smile on his face. “God, I do love your tits, baby. So round, so firm. I bet you would moan loudly when I suck on them.” One hand moved down to yours, helping to rub your clit. “Such a dirty girl you are, Y/N.”

“Stuart!”

He pulled you back with him, his back colliding with the bed. You were rolled onto your sides, Stuart’s slithering down your body to lift your leg, slinging it over his waist. His hips snapped into your backside, his arm winding around your waist to keep you close to him. You moaned loudly, head falling back against his shoulder, allowing him to thrust as much as he wanted into you.

His cock hit your g-spot with ease, the arm that had ended up under your head, gripping your breast tightly. His hips bucked against your ass, the slapping sound filling the small apartment bedroom. His cock slid in and out of you without problem, shoving into you relentlessly and rubbing along your walls. You were a moan mess against him, the ecstasy you felt from his powerful, godly thrusts making your stomach coil.

“Stuart,” you whimpered, pushing back against him harder. His thrusts sped up, his head buried into your neck as he pounded into you. His cock pistoned in and out of you quickly, making your body shake with happiness. Your leg bounced against his waist, heel kicking against his ass. His hand squeezed at your breast harder, Stuart never once slowing down.

“Y/N,” he growled, pushing his head into the back of yours. His thrusts were getting sloppier already, his second orgasm obviously approaching fast. “Shit.”

“Stuart, baby,” you gasped out. You took his hand from your chest, bringing it up to your mouth. Two fingers were wrapped by your lips, Stuart’s grunting getting louder. You moaned around the two digits, sucking at them sensually, tongue lavishly circling them. His chest heaved, his sloppy thrusts hitting your backside.

“I’m cumming,” he rasped. “I’m cumming. Fuck, I’m cumming!”

His cock twitched inside you, a loud moan in your ear ringing before he was spilling himself into you. Streams of his seed spewed from the tip into you, his thrusts slowing. The warmth of his orgasm and his seed filling you completely burned the coil that had been building inside you. You moaned around his fingers, your juices washing over him, splattering your walls. His thrusts slowed to ride out your highs, your bodies close together in a thick layer of sweat, heat, arousal and passion.

He pulled out of you slowly, rolling from the bed to stumble on uneasy feet to the bathroom. You heard the rippled of water as you laid in the bed, signalling that he was urinating before cleaning himself off. You ignore the sticky feeling between your legs, bundling in the sheets. Stuart made his way back to the bed, not bothering to get under the covers as he curled into your side.

“I love you,” he mumbled in a slurred voice, the alcohol mixing with his exhaustion. He was out seconds later, a low snore escaping his lips.

You frowned. At this point, you had sobered up, fully aware of everything that had happened between you both. You turned to look at the sleeping man, his eyes fluttering against his cheeks as he slept quietly. Your frown deepened, your heart falling. You wondered if he would remember in the morning what happened and if he would still feel the way he claimed. You wondered if things would remain this way when you returned home, or if they would be awkward, attempting to go back to the way they were.

You knew there was no going back though.

You moved his arm from your waist, sliding out of the bed. You slowly dressed yourself, taking a pillow and blanket to the couch. You sat on it, glancing at the clock before sighing, your head buried in your hand with silent tears.

“I love my best friend. But, this is all fake.”

~

Things were awkward like you had feared when you returned home.

The drive home was silent the next day, neither of you saying anything about the events in Oakland. You weren’t sure if he remembered, but he never questioned. You assumed he knew, that his words meant nothing; it was the once time that drunken words did not represent sober thoughts. So, you let it go, never once choosing to talk about it.

Your office was filled with an unusual tension, words hardly shared. You didn’t embrace each other like normal and tried to remain on different tasks that didn’t overlap to keep from interaction. You sat on opposite sides of the room, no matter where you were. You couldn’t even spare him a glance without your heart clenching, a wave of sorrow raining over you. Your heart yearned for him, but he wouldn’t return the gesture, no matter how much you hoped.

Neha tried to ask, but you changed the topic every time. You just tried to put up a front, only allowing yourself to cry in solitude at home. You loved him - an unrequited love. You wished he would remember, telling you the same three words as that night. You wished you could forget that night at the same time you wished to remember; the pleasure you felt with him was beyond you, never something you had felt before with any other guy. You had shared the perfect moment but the fake date ruined it.

It was never meant to happen.

You were sure you had ruined your friendship with Stuart Twombly because of a misunderstanding, an agreement, a fake relationship, alcohol and your personal feelings that had developed. The mixture sent your life down a spiral in the toilet, letting it plummet to the ground.

Two weeks had passed since the unspoken night with Stuart, and you had yet to share two words with him. You sat outside alone for lunch, munching on a sandwich as you typed on your laptop in an attempt to finish your current assignment. Your headphones were in, letting the music block out your surroundings.

You heard the seat across from you scratch against the concrete through the music, your eyes darting up to see who it was. You had to double take when you noticed Stuart sitting in the chair, anxiously tapping his foot. He was fidgeting in the seat, obviously nervous and uncomfortable. Carefully removing the earbuds, you cleared your throat, knowing it was dry.

“C-Can I help you, Stuart?”

The man frowned, obviously saddened by the lack of nickname he was used to. His mouth opened to answer, closing when nothing came out. He tried a few times before clearing his throat as well, licking his lips. “I can’t do this anymore.”

“What?”

“You’ve been avoiding me,” he said flatly.

“What? No-”

“You’ve been avoiding me because we had sex.” Your face fell, the tears already forming in your eyes. “I’m sorry. We were drunk and I was mad. I-it was emotional and…”

“Just stop, please.”

“No!” he yelled, lowering his voice before speaking again. “I can’t. I’m sorry. But I can’t go on like this anymore. I…” he rubbed his lips together, scratching his chin. “I don’t regret it, alright? It was the best night of my life. And yes, I was drunk. But I remember everything so clearly that happened between us. Up until I… I came in you, I remember everything.”

“Oh,” you said shortly.

“I’m sorry though, alright. The fake date shit should have never happened. I ruined us because of my stupid ego with my friends. And I can’t stand what we have become from it. You’ve been avoiding me because whatever happened between us - it changed us. I feel like I hurt you because of what we did. And I want us to go back.”

“Stuart-”

“I can’t stand this anymore,” he cried, ruffling his hair until it was messy. “I can’t stand not having my best friend in my life.

You frowned. Ouch, was I just friendzoned?

Stuart rubbed his lips together, wetting them often. His mouth was dry and he was struggling to form words. “I-I can’t stand this awkward tension that has formed between us. I can’t stand not having her in my arms all the time, hugging her day in and day out. I can’t stand not being able to call her just because I want to. I can’t stand us not hanging out, watching movies or tv shows and throwing popcorn at each other. I can’t stand not hearing her beautiful voice, whether it’s happy or sad or confused or intrigued. I can’t stand…” he paused slightly, biting his lip. “I can’t stand that I can’t call her mine every day.”

“Stuart.”

“I can’t stand just being friends.” He stopped talking, leaning forward on the table. His hands were together in tight fists, pressed to his lips. His eyes were red and glossy, trying to hold back tears. That made you heart wrench, your own tears ready to spill. He ruffled his hair again, staring at the table instead of at you. “I can’t stand withholding these feelings - my feelings - because I know they won’t be reciprocated.”

You blinked once, taking in his words. You were confused slightly, taking a moment to understand what he was telling you. Your gut bubbled with delight, your body seeming to understand before your mind. You stared at him, Stuart glancing up when he got no response. When it finally clicked, you stood abruptly, leaning forward to kiss him.

But your heads bumped together painfully.

You fell back in the seat, both of you grunting in pain. You rubbed the spot on your forehead, watching Stuart do the same. His eyes met yours, a small laugh finally escaping both of you. The laugh gradually built until you were laughing loudly together, using the table for support.

“So um,” he started, leaning on the table. “All that practice we did kind of went down the drain, eh?”

“Oh, shut it,” you grumbled, kicking him playfully. He grinned, moving to your side of the table, taking your hand.

“Let me at least do this properly then,” he whispered, leaning forward to press his lips to yours. You smiled into the kiss, turning to wrap your arms around his neck. He pulled you closer by the waist, his lips enveloping yours. You felt a familiar spark, your body physically melting into his hold. It wasn’t a steamy connection - just a passionate, slow on, your feelings conveyed with every ounce of will you had. Your lips moved together, heads tilting to let the connection speak for itself.

When he finally pulled away, he smiled, caressing your cheeks with his hands. Your foreheads rested against one another, low breaths escaping your lips.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated. “The fake date was the worst.”

“It really was,” you giggled.

“But, it showed me how much I like my best friend as more than a best friend.” He smiled, kissing your lips again softly. “It showed me how bad I have it for her because she is the most amazing girl in the world. And I want to prove it by taking her out.”

“Wait, what?” you asked, backing away.

Stuart chuckled, rushing to his bag and pulling out a bag of food labeled ‘Jose’s’. “I had meant to use this as a peace offering to get you to forgive me for what happened. But, I guess now it’ll be my proposal to you.”

“P-proposal?!”

“Not like that!” he sputtered. “I meant like…”

“Stu?”

“Y/N, I want to take you out on a date,” he said full of confidence, holding the bag of tacos out. “I want to take you out on a real date this time, not a fake one. Because I have a crush on my best friend and I want to take her out for a good time to show her how much she means to me.”

You blinked, staring up at him. His face faltered, scared you were about to deny him when you nodded, taking the tacos.

“You have yourself a date, Stuart Twombly,” you told him, standing up. You kissed his lips before grabbing your stuff, slinging your bag over your shoulder. “A real date.” You walked off, leaving the man to silently cheer, fist pumping the air.

~

Stuart shoved his finger into the doorbell the following Saturday night. He tugged at the collar of his button up, sweating profusely from nervousness. He glanced up at the light above your door, bouncing on the balls of his feet. He took a second to sniff himself, wondering if he smell alright with the new cologne he was wearing. Following up, he pulled out his phone to check his slightly spiked hair and glasses, checking himself over. He prayed he wasn’t overly dressed in a simple button up and dark jeans. He let out shaky breaths, the long wait playing at the back of his mind.

Finally, he heard the lock click, the door tugged open. “Sorry. I was finishing getting ready,” you told him, leaning on the doorframe to slip on your shoes. Stuart didn’t reply, his jaw slack as he stared. “What?”

“You…” he tried to say, swallowing thickly. His Adam’s Apple bobbed up and down, his eyes roaming your body. You were in a black dress that hugged you perfectly with some black flats. You glanced down at yourself, almost worried.

“Do I look bad? Am I overdressed? Should I go change?” You rapidly asked. Stuart shook his head vigorously in response.

“No!” he almost squeaked, his voice cracking. He blushed at the sound, clearing his throat. “You look amazing. Like… beyond beautiful. I was just shocked because you look so good. I mean, you always look good but… I can’t believe I’m going out with you. And I think I’m underdressed now compared to you. We’re just going to dinner at Romano’s so it’s not fancy, but you look spectacular compared to me.”

“Stu,” you cut him off, pushing up on your toes to kiss him softly. “You look fine. Now, let’s go. I’ve been waiting all day for this.”

“Alright,” he chuckled. You shut your door, locking it and dropping your keys in your purse. Stuart held his arm out for you, yours linking through it as he walked you down to his car. He opened the car door for you, allowing you to slide in and get situated before shutting it for you, shuffling to the driver’s seat quickly. The ignition came to life, roaring with a slight hum. “You know, this is going to be hard.”

“What do you mean?” you questioned.

“It’s going to be hard to focus on this date because I can’t keep my eyes off you,” he whispered, tilting his head towards you with a bright smile that was uncommon for him. It was contagious, you own smile spreading on your cheeks. You leaned over the center console, pressing a kiss to his lips that he returned without hesitation. His lips remained puckered as you pulled away, smiling like the goofball he is.

“Now, date please?”

The date had been the best thing you had been on in all your years of dating. He had taken you out for dinner at your favorite restaurant, the two of you chatting like normal throughout the meal. You had agreed on no alcohol, considering what had happened with alcohol last time, opting for water instead. He paid for the meal despite your protests, saying how it was only right for the man to treat his girl to a god meal. That just made you blush.

Following the dinner, he took you to an aquarium on Pier 39. He was shy at first, your hands brushing as you walked through the glass tanks. When he finally gathered the courage to take you hand in his, your fingers lacing like they did when you practiced many weeks ago, you felt at home, nuzzling closer to him as you wandered through the building. Your hands even stayed connected when you stopped to pet the baby sharks and manta rays, Stuart recording the oy on your face with his phone.

On your way back to the car, you dragged him into a photo booth, Stuart almost reluctant at first. The pictures went fast, most being silly photos you would normally do with your selfies together. But you were able to catch him off guard on the last photo, turning him towards you so you could kiss him fully, the man melting into your touch and returning it before the click was heard. You each got a strip, your heart thumping rapidly at the smile he held looking at them.

The final stop was the same hill your team ventured to during your internship after the crazy night at the strip club. You sat at the same table you were at before, Stuart’s arm around your shoulders to keep you close. You head rested on his shoulder, his on top of your head, the two of you in silence as you stared at the night sky and the twinkling lights of San Francisco. After what seemed like forever, he called your name softly, making you look at him. He smiled softly, leaning in until he was kissing you, no words shared.

Just soft kisses in the moonlight to end the night.

The clock hit midnight as he parked in front of your apartment, killing the engine. He turned to you, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel before speaking, “Can I walk you to your door?”

“Do you have to ask?” you giggled. Stuart cracked a ghost of a smile, sliding out of the car to run around the front, opening your door for you. He took you hand, the two of you taking slow steps towards the door. Your hands swung in unison, a silence having formed between you both.

He stopped once you got to the door, both of you turning to face each other. You opened your mouth at the same time he did, neither of you managing to get words out before you started laughing. He rubbing his hand along your arm soothingly, playing with your fingers. “You first.”

“I just wanted to say,” you started, digging your toe into the ground, looking away awkwardly. “Thank you. Thank you for such a wonderful night. I’ve been on a lot of dates through college and even here, and nothing has compared to tonight. This was… this was perfect, Stu. Thank you.”

He chuckled, making you look at him. “You know, you took the words out of my mouth,” he mused. “I was going to thank you for letting me take you out. For giving me a chance after… after the whole fake girlfriend fiasco. I didn’t think I would get a chance like this because my dumbass proposed that whole thing. Then we had sex and I loved it but we fell apart after and I didn’t know how to talk to you about it. So I thought that This crush that had developed would be unrequited. But, when you agreed, I… I was elated, baby.” You blushed at the nickname, Stuart flushing also. “S-sorry. Slipped.”

“You know, you called me that a lot when we had sex.”

“I know,” he hummed. “I liked it a lot.”

You grinned, wrapping your arms around his neck, drawing him closer. “Well, I like hearing you call me baby.”

“You do?” he smirked, pulling you closer by the hips. “Maybe I will have to call you baby more often then.”

“I’d like that,” you whispered, pressing your lips to his. Your eyes closed, his following suit. It was a tender kiss, lips pressing against each other firmly but barely at all at the same time. His lips were soft, slowly dragging along yours as he pulled away. The low smack of your lips disconnecting filled the air, Stuart pressing his lips to yours again. Your fingers tangled in the hair at the base of his neck, making him shiver amidst the kiss.

He pulled away, licking his lips to relish the taste of you, backing away slightly, keeping his hands on your waist. “I should go,” he mumbled. “It’s late.”

“Oh, right,” you replied shortly. “Late, yeah.”

“Thank you again,” he whispered, pecking your lips and pushing your hair behind your ear before pulling away. His hands tucked into his pockets as he backed away down the walkway, give one final smile before he turned to leave.

You tapped your foot for a second, going to unlock your door. You cracked it open, turning back to your date before he made it to the car. “Stu, wait!”

He whipped around, his thick black frames almost flinging off his face from the speed he turned. His eyes lit up, the caramel color making you melt on your feet. His hair billowed softly in the light wind, a toothy smile growing on his cheeks. “Yeah, Y/N?”

“I know it’s late and all, but I was thinking,” you hummed, hugging the jacket he leant you earlier that night closer around your body. “Maybe you’d like to come in for some coffee or tea? You don’t need to rush off just yet.”

Stuart smiled, clicking the lock button on his car so it beeped, signally the alarm was set. He didn’t want to seem too eager as he bounced back up the path towards you. “I’d like that actually.”

You pushed the door open for him, both of you stepping in. The door clicked shut, Stuart helping you take off your jacket. He turned for a single second to hang it up, finding your lips on his when he went to face you again. He returned it instantly, his hands cupping your cheeks, yours back around his neck. The kiss was infinitely messier than the one minutes ago, tongues greedily battling for dominance that he easily won. The smacking sound was louder and more consistent through the entryway to your apartment, Stuart pulling away for small bursts of air before he dipped back in. He easily controlled the kiss, your teeth clashing and your noses brushing even though your heads tilted to give you the best access to his luscious lips.

He pulled away with a short gasp of air, kicking off his shoes as he talked. “Maybe we should take this elsewhere.”

“I know the perfect place,” you told him, taking the front of his shirt in your hands, slipping your flats off before backing into the house towards your bedroom.

You both fell onto your bed, laying on your sides facing each other, engaged in a heated make out session. You played with his hair, moving down to mess with the buttons on his shirt, moaning into the kiss he gave you. His hand had settled on your thigh, playing with the bottom of your dress, flipping it up your waist so he could rub your ass through your underwear. He let out a few breathy moans in the middle of the kiss, shifting to help you push off the button up, leaving him in just a white undershirt. Your legs were tangled together in a heap atop the blankets, keeping you close.

Your hand moved next to the button on his pants, popping them easily and tugging the zipper down right after. Your hand slid into the front of his pants, his breath hitching when your fingers wrapped around his shaft, stroking it slowly. He pulled away to get some air, connecting his lips to yours again, shoving his tongue down your throat, tracing your cheeks to memorize the layout. His hand pushed into the front of your panties, drawing circles to your clit. You squirmed under his touch, your moans vibrating his throat and tongue in your mouth.

He pulled away from the kiss, tugging your hand from his pants after his was pulled from your panties. He sat up, pulling you with him, tugging off his shirt the second he had a chance. Your dress followed, your arms raised so he could lift the black material off your skin. Your breasts fell free, Stuart pushing up on his knees to hover over you as he kissed you for the umpteeth time that night. You were pushing at his pants as he kissed you, his hands finding your chest rather fascinating.

He struggled to kick off his jeans, letting them off over the edge of the bed when they finally hit his ankles. You were both just left in your underwear, Stuart moving to lay you back to the bed. He broke the kiss, his eyes locking with yours before he spoke. “Are you sure?”

“Absolutely,” you breathed, scratching from his shoulders to the back of his head. “And this time, we are both absolutely sober enough to say that.”

“I never thought I’d say it, but thank God for no alcohol in my system,” he chuckled, pulling his glasses off the bridge of his nose, placing them neatly on the side table so they didn’t get damaged while you were getting frisky. The frames were apparently crooked last time. He leaned back on his heels, shuffling from side to side as he pushed his boxers off, allowing his cock to spring free. It slapped his stomach gracefully in all its glory, standing long, hard and proud at attention. It stood straight out for you, your panties growing moist at the sight. “So um…”

“What?” you asked, playing with the tip of his cock. He grunted, feeling it twitch under your touch, throbbing anxiously.

“D-Do we need a condom or anything?”

“I mean,” you blushed, turning to your table. “I have some if you prefer to be extra cautious. But I’m on the pill. And we weren’t that cautious when we had sex in Oakland.”

“W-well that… that was not the best,” he claimed. “We were drunk and I was horny a-and you were hot.”

“I know, Stu. You don’t have to justify it,” you joked. “Just make the decision. Rubber or no rubber?”

“Well, as much as I would prefer without because it feels way better, we should probably be proper adults and use it,” he huffed almost sadly. “We can work our way back into no condoms.”

“Oh. So, we’re going to have sex more than once?” you jabbed at him.

“Well, if I’m any good, you will always want me to sex you,” he laughed, leaving you to slap his chest. “I know, I know. I’m sorry. But, I would like to. You’re just that good and I don’t want to stop anytime soon.”

“Sounds like a good plan to me,” you told him, leaning over to grab the condom. You swear you heard him let out a sigh of relief, glad you had agreed. “What size? Regular? XL? XXL?”

“Do I want to know why you have that many?” he hummed, leaning down to kiss your stomach, working his way to your chest. You moaned at him, finding it hard to concentrate on the boxes in the drawer.

“I’ve had sex with guys before, Stu. And it never hurts to be prepared. But when every guy you meet is different, you have to have something for every occasion.”

“Well,” he said, sucking at your nipple harshly, tugging it with his lips to hear you moan. “Do me a favor,” he continued, sucking red marks to your breast, repeatedly kissing the stiff peak to prolong his words. You were a moaning mess, Stuart’s head nestled between your arms, your arms still outstretched to grab him a rubber package. “Toss those regular and XL ones and buy two more of the XXL because baby, you’re gonna need them with how much I’m going to fuck you.”

“Holy shit, Stu,” you whimpered, falling back on the bed, unable to fulfill the task. He was ravishly attacking your round mounds, licking and sucking at them vehemently. He was happily nipping at the buds, making them taut under his lips. He let out a throaty groan as he kissed at them, swapping between each one with a loud pop.

“I thought I told you to toss those boxes,” he joked, pulling from your chest, leaving you feeling empty. He grabbed the boxes of regular and XL condoms, physically tossing them behind him, making you break out into a fit of laughter. He pulled out the XXL box smirking at you. “Unopened?”

“No one has ever… fit my expectations for them.” Stuart rolled his eyes at your pun, opening the box and pulling out the square packet.

“Never say that again,” he scolded, placing the package between his teeth, he kept it there as he moved down, pulling your panties free from your legs. You spread your legs, two fingers running through your folds. The condom ended up falling onto the bed, his jaw slack. “Fuck, baby. You’re soaked. Are you ready for me?”

“I’ve been ready.”

“What do you want?” he asked seductively, his voice dropping an octave into a husky tone. The two fingers slid into your core, your moan loud.

“Stuart.”

“You want me?” he asked, your head nodding in agreement. “What do you want? You want my cock in you? You want me to please you while I tell you how beautiful you are?” His lips met your clit, lapping at the swollen nub. You back arched, scratching at his scalp with your nails. “You want me to fuck you, baby? You want me to pound you into your mattress until you scream my name? You want me to hold you while I show you just how perfect you are? I’m gonna make you cum, baby. Cum so hard you won’t remember your own name.”

His fingers had curled at this point, your body quivering at his words and touch.. He was able to hit you sweet spot without trying, his trimmed nails scratching along your sensitive walls. His mouth to your clit never slowed down, the man lavishly ravishing it, spelling his name over it like you remembered. He was determined to full the promise making you scream his name, the only thought racing through your mind being his name on replay. As much as you wanted his thick cock inside you tiny pussy, you were loving the way his fingers made you feel. And you knew after tonight, you would have a hard time being around him, the sight of his veiny names reminding you of what he can do.

You might get in trouble a few times because you would probably drag him off to the copy room for a little foreplay. AKA, his fingers and tongue so far up your pussy, you’d be seeing stars the rest of the day. And occasionally his cock, most likely.

“Stuart,” you gasped, aching against your sheets. His free hand reached up your body, fondling your breast firmly, giving it a squeeze to enhance your pleasure. “Oh, God, baby. I’m going to cum. Oh God, I’m going to cum!”

“Cum, baby,” he whispered against your clit, giving it a sloppy kiss. His fingers sped up, the noisy sloshing of your wet core around the digits mixing with your moans and gasps. “I want to taste your sweet juices.”

“Holy shit,” you gasps again. You body spasmed, walls clenching. “Oh, fuck! I’m cumming! Oh, God, I’m cumming! Stuart!” You screamed, violent shakes running through your form. Your juices spilled down his fingers, the digits soaked for a second before they were pulled from you, his tongue replacing them. He slurped at your pussy, drinking every last drop of liquid that you secreted, making sounds of satisfaction as he swallowed.

He pulled away, licking his lips before his arm wiped them dry, the man taking a moment to lick his fingers clean. “You taste delicious,” he quipped happily. He moved to stroke his still hard cock, the precum oozing more. “But, I think I need to be inside your tight little cunt, baby.”

“Fuck, me, Stu,” you pleaded.

You watched with half-lidded eyes as he scrambled to find the condom on the bed, having lost it when he realized how wet you were before. He cursed under his breath, finally cheering when he found it under your leg. He ripped it open with his teeth, rolling the rubber down his length expertly.

He nestled between your legs, leaning down to kiss you, his face softer than earlier. “If I hurt you, tell me to stop.”

“You could never hurt me,” you reassured him, kissing him lightly.

“I know. Just…” he sighed. “I don’t want to risk anything.”

You took his hands in yours, his body almost collapsing on top of you so you could link your fingers together with his. “I trust you and you aren’t risking a thing. I want this, Stu,” you told him.

He smiled softly, taking one hand from yours to align himself with your core, returning it to your hold when he slid in easily. You both moaned simultaneously, Stuart stilling to allow you to adjust. He laid soft kisses to your cheeks, forehead and jawline, finally kissing your lips passionately. Your tongues sensually rubbed against each other, slowly moving your lips together.

His hips shifted back, pulling himself from inside you only to snap back strongly, your moan caught in your throat. His thrusts became steady, speeding up gradually until he was wildly pounding into you. Your hands tightened around his, the hold on his hands keeping you grounded. He pulled from the kiss, his head buried in your neck instead, light kisses applied to it. Your nose buried in the side of his head, kissing at his temple and moaning into his ear.

His hips bucked anxiously, the tip skimming your g-spot with every thrust your legs wound around him, trying to tug him closer, wanting to feel him as go as deep as he could. You could hear his low grunt, feeling him piston himself in you quickly.

“Stuart,” you moaned into his ear, your hips circling against him. He grunting, telling you he was listening, a smile forming on your face. “I want to ride you.”

“Oh fuck,” you heard him rasp, rolling you both over instantly. You sat up against him, Stuart’s eye a dark shade at this point, shielded with layers of lust. “I love you riding me. You’re so hot when my cock is shoved into you, your body bouncing against my cock. Fuck, me baby. Fuck me hard.”

“Maybe I don’t wanna go hard,” you teased, rocking against him slowly. The way his cock slid out of you was slow, the slide back in even more agonizing. He groaned in dissatisfaction, bucking upwards into you. “Want do you wanna do, baby? You want me to go faster? You want me to ride you like a pro again?”

“No,” he let out. His hands found your waist, stopping you from moving. “I’m going to fuck you still.”

His hips bucked upwards quickly, rapidly shoving himself into you. A scream came from your throat, head falling back in pleasure. He hit better angles than before, hitting your g-spot full on. His movements were sloppy and fast, but they were beyond pleasurable, the level of ecstasy you felt through the roof. His cock pistoned into you core without remorse, your bodies colliding in deafening slaps. The sound of skin on skin filled the room, reverberating off the walls of the small bedroom.

“Fuck, Stuart!” you screamed, the man drooling at the sight of you over him. Your breasts bounced with each thrust, his fingers itching to touch them and his mouth watering to taste them. Your eyes were clenched, lips parted for your many moans. His cock was dripping when it slid free from you, the rubber glistening in your juices before sliding back in with ease. It was harder for him to feel aroused due to the condom, but he felt his heart racing and his stomach clenching, his cock pulsing and twitching as he neared his end. It was taking longer than he thought and hoped, but watching your pleased face made him happy and definitely was getting him closer to the orgasm he sought.

His thrusts slowed to a stop, his body pushed up until he was chest to chest with you. Your eyes cracked open, staring at his beautiful orbs, feeling him move your legs around his waist. Your arms moves around him, under his arms so he could keep you upright against him, his hips bucking into you. It wasn’t the hard, powerful thrusts as before. This was more sensual - more connected. He still could hit your sweet spots without trying, your body shaking against him.

“Stu,” you cried, nails raking down his back. Red marks lined his muscled skin, his nails digging into your hips. His steady thrusts into you made your stomach clench, eyes squeezing shut. “Oh god. I’m so close. Faster, baby.”

“Fuck,” he groaned, thrusting a bit faster than before, hips rocking into yours rhythmically. His eyes closed, lips puckering as he began chasing his orgasm, shoving into you as fast and hard as he could muster. He kissed and nipped at your collarbone, finding it harder to concentrate. Your walls were hugging him tightly, the pulsing in his shaft translating to your body. Your hearts beat together, sloppy thrusts an indication of his inevitable orgasm. “I’m cumming baby. Are you cumming?”

“Yes,” you cried shortly, out of breath. “Stuart, baby. I’m cumming,” you whimpered.

“Fuck,” he gasped, moving to kiss you instead. “I love you.”

You were taken aback, barely managing a short, “I love you too” before you were quivering in his arms, pressing your lips to his in a passionate connection. Your juices splattered around him in powerful waves, dripping down the latex around his length. Your toes curled into his back, nails clawing at him harder. Stuart’s body grew warm, the moisture and warmth of your core making his stomach clench. Even through the condom, he felt everything, his cock twitching sporadically. His seed spilled from the tip in squirts of white, filling the small air gap at the end. His groan was muffled by your lips, the knot inside both of you disintegrating. His thrusts slowed to ride out your orgasms, careful not to rip the condom before he pulled out completely.

He lifted you off the bed, still deep inside you, lying you on the bed so he could pull out. He waddled to the bathroom, supporting his condom-covered cock, stripping himself of the rubbed. It was tied off and discarded, Stuart using the bathroom before cleaning himself He returned with a warm, wet cloth, cleaning your thighs and core or your juices and sweat, giving it a light kiss when he was done.

He draped the blankets over you before curling up next to you, his head resting on your chest. Normally after sex, you would want to cuddle into the guy, but this felt more comfortable for some reason. Your hand ran through his soft hair, playing with the ends happily. You always loved his hair, the locks insanely pleasing to run your fingers through. And maybe it was just having his body pressed against yours, holding you securely, that made you comfortable.

You also knew that at some point during the night, you would adjust so you were resting on him instead. It always happens when you cuddled, falling asleep on your bed or his bed during a movie. You find yourself sleeping on his chest, his arms holding you tight.

“You know,” he mumbled sleepily. You glanced at the clock, realizing how late it had gotten. Two hours of sex later, here you were. “I can’t really sleep without my pillow.”

“I know.”

“But,” he continued, nuzzling your chest, kissing the side of your breast. “You make a better pillow I think.”

“You’re such a dork,” you laughed, continuing to pet his head. You knew he was falling asleep quickly, the man able to sleep with ease after sex it seemed. He must have been exhausted from all those thrusts he did. You pussy still aches just thinking about it. “Get some sleep, Stu Boo.”

He mumbled something incoherently, probably acknowledging what your said, He shifted against you, kissing your chest again before saying, “Be my actual girlfriend, Y/N,” he said, voice laced with sleep. “My real girlfriend, not my fake one. I can’t stand the fake shit.”

“Alright. Anything for you, Stu. You are my best friend and you are one of a kind,” you whispered. He turned to look at you, his eyes glazed with sleep. “Besides, how can I say no to a hot nerd like you.”

“I’m your hot nerd,” he whispered back, curling back against you, falling asleep. You smiled at his sleeping face, letting yourself relax on the bed.

“It’s not fake this time,” you told yourself through a yawn. “I fell in love with my best friend. And I don’t regret it.”

As a a subnote, the chat names are KIND OF inspired by friends in my real life. My friend, Joe, is the fucking memelord of our group. And my friend Greg (RIP) had once wired an audrino board to place Stepmania with bananas. It was the best thing to see while in college. 

Errthang Tag 2.0: @catcrown21; @parislight; @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone; @savage-stilinski; @honeymoonmuke; @rumoured-whispers; @youshiverwhenyouhearmyname; @caitsymichelle13; @addicttotw; @fox-lau; @xmadwonderland; @kaelyn-lobrutto24; @lobrien; @kal-pal; @espermirror; @nowthisiswaar; @belleknows; @ashpie97; @mixedupsammy; @dylobrienlover; @newtosaur250; @bandsweyhey; @crystals-marie; @livinginadreamersparadise; @tommyswolves; @veronicarapp; @bilesbilinskix; @danathewitchywoman; @thisismexxo; @you-all-have-guns; @soulaura-canavel; @bojabee; @obrienswxlf; @feelingsareharddd; @xoitsjustmexo; @supernaturaltakeover; @suggsmate; @cassiee867; @malia--stilinski; @barryallenplease; @flirtstiles; @bottleoffirewhisky; @jadalecki-jackles; @evansesdust; @everythingthatisrandom; @puppiesarehappiness; @ixlovexpeterxparker; @onlyalittleteenwolfobsessed; @tenseoyong; @jadav5 

Want to be tagged? Send as ask! - Bold accounts are ones I cannot tag.    

[neondnp]

my ii m&g experience ♥

(long rambling and pic spam ahead)

arriving + waiting in line

prior to and upon arriving at the venue, i was SO incredibly nervous to the point that it nearly overpowered my excitement. my heart had been racing all week and my stomach was in knots. i’d been anticipating this very day for almost a year and i was absolutely terrified that something would go wrong. i kept having thoughts like, “what if there’s a ton of unexpected traffic backed up for hours and i miss the meet and greet?” “what if there’s something wrong with my ticket??” “what if i forget something important and i’m denied access?” “what if i DIE before i get there!?” luckily, none of my delusional fears from my panicked state of mind came true and most of my anxiety disappeared after i was given my wristband.

meeting and conversing with the lovely new friends i made in line put me at enough ease that my ability to comprehend the intense reality of the situation was beginning to vanish. everything was too dreamlike to feel real. was i really mere minutes away from meeting my idols??

suddenly, everyone started screaming. i looked up and saw phil standing at the rail. i nearly had a damn heart attack!! that’s phil! he literally looks like an angel! i heard dan’s voice from the other corner and turned around to see him right above us! that’s dan!! he glows! o m g !! there they are!! in person! holy s*** that’s actually them!!! whatever they said to us either completely went over my head or was entirely forgotten because i don’t recall any of it. this was the most surreal moment of my life.

shoutout to the girl on twitter who filmed some of this and caught my reaction after they waved and left lmao

i guess this is what my mind being completely blown looks like??!?

my adrenaline was through the roof, but i was too stupefied to feel emotional yet. my throat was drying as the line in front of me gradually got shorter. the lack of air conditioning upstairs didn’t help. i was close enough to talk to marianne (a queen, btw) about what i wanted to give them. i had a letter from a friend and two of my ii themed d&p drawings that i made into magnets. she told me she would keep them and give them to dan and phil after the meet and greet. disappointing, but understandable. i wrote my name on the magnets but they won’t have a clue who i am. oh well. here’s what they look like:

before i knew it, it was my turn to meet them. a friend i met in line agreed to film my meet and greet but was too nervous to do so once we approached our turns. although it sucks to not have footage, i fully understand having anxiety. she’s very sweet and i’d never want to cause her any stress.

the actual meeting and greeting:

before i get into the personal details and talk about my interaction with them, i’ll describe their irl voices and appearances. 

i’d say they sound exactly the same in person. they don’t necessarily look any different from how they do in pictures and videos, just more radiant; especially phil. his hair somehow looks even darker irl and there’s an indescribably beautiful contrast between his black hair, vibrant eyes, and pale skin. it makes him look otherworldly. his features are sharp. dan’s stubble is actually quite prominent, even from a distance. his features are soft. there’s not really much else to say about his appearance; he’s just as gorgeous in the flesh as he is on a screen. they were just as tall as i expected them to be so i wasn’t alarmed by their height. it did, however, feel different to look up at them and see them from a new (significantly lower) angle as opposed to seeing them from an eye-level camera angle. the same can be said about viewing them on stage from a close orchestra seat.

now, onto the good part! i wish i could remember more details, but meeting them was such a blur that i didn’t feel like it even happened at all until the next day (more on that later). most of my dreams are more vivid than this memory is. my brain was majorly lagging from the moment i was far enough ahead in line to be off the stairs, and my entire consciousness seemed to exist in some alternate dimension when i walked toward their direction to be greeted. i remember one or both of them saying, “hiii!” and dan saying “thanks for coming to see us!” i remember phil instantly opening his arms and asking if i wanted a hug. i think i said, “hi! yes i do!” i remember it being so much easier to talk to them than i thought it would be. words came naturally despite having very little awareness of what i was saying and—due to being in such a daze—completely forgetting to say any of the important things i’ve always wanted to tell them. they were both so warm, gentle, and welcoming. i was too out of it to realize this at the time, but looking back, they treated me like i was an old friend of theirs; like i was someone who mattered. that warms my heart. they genuinely care about making us feel comfortable and relaxed.

dan did most of the talking. i don’t remember what either of their hugs felt like, but i do remember dan giving me one of his awkward “dan hugs” lol. dan and i were both wearing striped shirts and he said that we were “totally coordinated with our stripes” which made me WAY happier than it should have, but oh man i was BEAMING. “we are!”

when phil asked if i’d like to have something signed, i took out a print of the two portraits i drew of them. “yes, can you sign my art please?” after handing the print to them, dan said, “oh my god did you draw these??” and i responded with something dumb like, “i did! it took me like my entire life but yeah!!” i really wish i could have seen them react to my drawings, but i didn’t think to look at their faces when i showed them. in fact, i’m not even sure if i made eye contact with them at all. they complimented me on my art but i don’t remember what they said. i'm not 100% certain, but i think dan called it incredible.

dan offered to take the selfie so i handed him my phone and we all got close and smiled for the camera. i noticed from other people’s meet and greet pics that phil had a tendency to lean his head in next to fans, but i’d of course forgotten about this detail. i was so weak later on when i saw how close our faces were in the group photo, w o w !! i asked if we could take individual pictures as well and dan said, “of course!”

this is the part i remember the most clearly. taking individual pictures was almost like hugging them again, only better because i was a little more aware—i was almost able to actually process it this time. looking at them you’d expect to feel nothing but firmness and bones, but they’re both delightfully squishy; especially dan. they’re two tall adorable teddy bears. dan fondly said, “thank you philip” when phil took our picture and it was the cutest thing. after the pictures were taken, i thanked them for about the tenth time. i remember saying “thank you” and “thank you so much” to almost everything they said and did. i probably would have thanked them if they accidentally stepped on my foot or dropped my phone. they told me to enjoy the show and i thanked them once more. i wished them a good show and at some point i think i said, “it was really nice meeting you.” we waved and said our goodbyes to each other.

and then it was over.

wait, it’s over. what the hell just happened?

i literally forgot everything on the spot.

everything happened so rapidly and it ended before i had even begun to take any of it in. i really wish i could have absorbed the moment more. i wish i could have said more. this may sound silly, but none of it felt real. it didn’t initially feel like, “aah i just met dan and phil!!” instead, it felt more like, “...did i really meet dan and phil? wouldn’t i have remembered meeting them if it really happened?” i was so disappointed in myself. how was i that spaced out the whole time? i expected a more emotional experience, but it was all so surreal that i wasn’t even in touch with reality, let alone with my emotions. i didn’t know how to react, so i blanked out into a strange semiconscious state and i hated myself for it. 

i went on to realize that meeting them was indeed a very emotional experience; i just needed to fully recover from my daze for it to hit me. while most of my memory is still a blur, several small details came back to me the following day bit by bit. it was enough for me to look back on and miss. it took me days to recall everything i wrote about above. i did cry. i was emotionally impacted, just not right away. it had to catch up with me. meeting them was absolutely amazing. looking at my pictures and signed artwork elates me. i actually met dan and phil!

even though i didn’t say what i wanted to, i’m grateful that i managed to talk to them at all. i was so sure i’d either stumble over my words or end up speaking in my stupid high-pitched nervous voice. i was also afraid i’d cry in front of them and i didn’t. it went smoothly and i survived. i have a few regrets, but i still loved it. i loved them.

i’d do it again in a heartbeat.

yes i was very extra with the editing but these pics mean a lot to me and i wanted them to look the best they could

what i didn’t get to say: 

@danielhowell @amazingphil thank you for inspiring so much creativity, motivation, and passion within me. you guys are the reason i wanted to start drawing again. you’re the reason why i stopped immediately giving up. you’re the reason i’ve met so many spectacular people and became part of such a diverse and extraordinary community. you guys give me a reason to smile. i love you, thank you for everything ♥ - alexis

[exos-prteam-blog]

How Kpopmeetblackwomen/kmusicblackwomen Got Popular

Omg so I always said I'd make a post regarding the history of that controversial tumblr and so today is the day! I was there when ole girl first made the tumblr and dipped when things got a little weird to me but I know why she got fans in the first place and how she's kept them. This is gonba be long so get Ready for some bulletpoints and tea!! (Cold old tea lmao)

* 2014-15 kpop tumblr was....rough...especially for black fans. Like kpop was as problematic as ever but people were coming for each other's throats for liking problematic idols, like people were acting like parents and police when it came to this. You reblogged a picture of Chanyeol??? You had atleast 2 people in your inbox wanting to know why you reblogged his picture. There were these headass "most unproblematic member in each group" lists going on lmao and there was this one person who said you were a "Baekhyun sympathizer" if you still liked the problematic lil fellow. Baekhyun has said some trashy shit HOWEVER making that parallel was doing the absolute fucking most, when someone says sympathizer you know you automatically think of Nazis. Oh! And there was also this trend of people subposting other people, telling them they don't love themselves and when they'd get called out on it, they'd backpeddle. Those people are just now admitting that the shade they threw was towards specific people.

* With that being said, the dominant black kpop tumblr was blackkpopfans and during that time it became less of a place where you could find out updates on comebacks and such and more so a place where people could list out their justified grievances towards antiblackness in kpop. The issue with that however was, it came to the point where people where beating dead horses and the environment there was very negative. Like it was multiple anons going on about how they hate gdragon or zico, which is fine, but it was 80% anons like that and 20% actual kpop content. And I think it got to the point where people were thinking like....well why are we even into kpop if it's gonna be like this???

* So that was the state of blackkpopfans and some reached out to the admins to say they didn't think the atmosphere was right and that it was really negative to which the admins replied it's not negative here, this is what our anons have to say. Which is where I side eyed the admins cuz they weren't being genuine nor truthful and they acted like the atmosphere was something they couldn't help which they most certainly could especially since they were the ones responsible for posting information about comebacks which for a while they hardly did and they often posted anons daily that literally said the same thing, like I'm telling you people were running over dead horses:old, old receipts. Also the black and teal or green color scheme was depressing and just made everything worse, it was so not appealing lmao but maybe that was just me. I personally think, if the tumblr was a black kpop fans anonymous tumblr, like the one we have now I believe, I'd cut the admins alot of slack but they called themselves a place where black fans could gather, get information on debuts and comebacks, and discuss a multitude of things good and bad, so that's why they get a side eye.

* So overall, things weren't "fun" over at blackkpopfans. It was actually getting boring too cuz like I said all the repetitiveness and lack of new information. And so guess who toostie rolls onto tumblr in 2015??? That's right, Kpopmeetblackwomen. And guess what, people FLOCKED to her why? Cuz it was like a breath of fresh air.

(THE IMPORTANT STUFF LMAO)

*Now in the very very beginning, Kpopmeetblackwomen wasn't "bad" persay. The admin, at the time, like I know she's a lil dust bunny now, but INITIALLY, admin came across as very very sweet. She was nice to all her visitors and when people asked her why she created the tumblr she said she just wanted another resource/outlet for blackkpopfans to have. She didn't think it was good that blackkpopfans was all there was especially considering what was going on over there. I think, in the beginning, she wanted black kpop fans to still have a place to enjoy themselves, cuz in the beginning she didn't bother blackkpopfans at all. So you know, everything was innocent and nice enough in the beginning. The theme was pink, white, and a lil bit of yellow? Nice and bright, the layout was attractive, things were tagged properly. People talked about how excited they were for certain groups comebacks. Comeback info for groups was actually posted. It was just a welcoming place. Along with discussions of new releases there were also fans submitting legitimate fanaccounts, and alot of them came with video or footage. And that aspect was fun too, it was nice seeing black fans interact with their favorite groups, especially at the time where I think alot of us were kinda scared due to the known antiblackness and the subsequent environment on tumblr. So people posted how they met so and so at the airport or restaurant and posted selfies and I swear no one was being cringe, we, the fans, were just enjoying thus exchange of information. Also, there people actually were still discussing the problematic behavior of some idols, some people said outright they didn't like a certain person and it was cool, so it felt like a good balance. Though there were one or two situations in the beginning that made me sideye a follower, I brushed it off cuz the comment seemed silly and extra at most..lmao if only I knew.

*So where did things go wrong? From my point of view...I'd say after like the first 6 months???? Maybe, but after a while the fanaccounts dried up, naturally so cuz groups don't come to the u.s or Europe that frequently anyways. But when the submission of legitimate fanaccounts dried up, the admin and some of her followers began to act a little weird. Not only that but she stopped talking about new kpop and I think that's when the atmosphere legitimately shifted for the worse. Yes were there some people I sideyed before it yeah but I can pinpoint exactly when that space went to a point of no return: when the fan submissions were few and far between and the discussions became less relevant to kpop and more so to how (insert kpop idol or group) just looooves him some chocolate. Yeah it got really messy really quick.

* So after that shift I kinda bounced cuz I just wasn't comfortable interacting with her or her tumblr when I saw what it became and I actually think a good bit of us left after a while. Lmao after I left tho, everytime I popped my head in to see what was going on, things just kept getting worse and soon the admin and her minions started attacking not only blackkpopfans admins but also girls who contacted her requesting their fanaccounts and/or pictures be removed due to the blatant fetishism going on. One prominent incident was when those two sisters, can't remember their names, but they were being harassed after they asked the admin to take down their video or pic of them meeting Zion T.

* I haven't checked on her at all really after those incidents that happened but I still see that she's still up to no good and she's as delusional as ever. Oh! Wait another thing she'd do is write fanfic fanaccounts but then not tell people it was fanfic so people were being tricked to believe those were actually fanaccounts until someone made her clarify. Whew chile. Now I see she's still busy with making bad photoshop edits.

* Overall I really hope she snaps out of it but I don't think I can truly forgive her for preying on the insecurities of young black girls and women who obviously were/are in need of validation. While I understand the desire to be desired, that's not the way to go and it ultimately ends up with hurt feelings and an even worse self esteem. I am glad black kpop tumblr is in a better place now where there's room and acceptance for laughter and lighthearted fangirling or what have you while also room to have tough discussions.

**side note- okay lil shade, not directed to any of my mutuals though, but lol some of yall who be dragging sis be knowing ALOT about what's going on over there lmao and I'm always wondering how you stay up to date on a person who's content you don't fuck with. Like I don't like ole girl and I hardly hear about her unless something really extra goes viral. Do you though, it's all love, I'm just teasing you lol**

[avaquet]

S x S: An Old Earth Tradition

Platonic Suvi and Sara! This was for day 2 of the MERweek2018 prompts, now being posted on day four (whoops)!

EDIT: added picture, meant to for these but I kept forgetting when I uploaded 😅

Shortie, but hopefully a goodie :D

We have so many pictures together. At least one taken on every planet we’ve been to, except Habitat-7 or Ryder-01 as it’s now called. Suvi was one of the first true friends I had made on my journey, she actively sought me out when I felt the world crumbling around me. It wasn’t exactly an ‘old earth tradition’ that I taught her, but it did start when taking a photo of one’s self or ‘selfie’ as they used to call it, and some still do to this day, was easiest. They took it with mobile phones instead of datapads or omni-tools, or the floating camera bots the reporters have. In any case, it became ingrained into our culture fast, and we were surprised when the other species took part in a similar act. Especially turians who love to document their history and wars, it’s of course less silly and fun, but it was nice to see Vetra actively engaging in our shenanigans.

There was only one more planet. An inside out planet made entirely by the remnant. Meridian. Suvi and I planned to meet and wander outside for a bit before taking our picture. Each time it was like this, of course, we had to be quiet and sneaky because most inhabitants on other planets wanted to kill us and Suvi wasn’t entirely keen on holding a gun. Our pictures always held just us, and then others. I would take photos with the rest, and definitely as a group, later. But Suvi and I were merely exploring for the most suitable spot. Keri, a sweet reporter, wanted plenty of video and photos for her report, SAM had already broadcasted the victory in many ways which gave Keri plenty to work with. Seeing the crew all together after the battle in a beautiful spot, alive, would give the sleepers hope when they woke up. Especially if another disaster came about so soon.

Suvi and I walked on dirt roads, surrounded by a sci-fi fantasy, like nature fully accepted man-made works. Symbiosis. “Isn’t beautiful?” I gasped.

“Oh, definitely. Think we could ever do the same?” She asked.

I looked at her, careful to not trip over anything on the ground. “Hmm… Not sure. It would take many lifetimes, human ones at that. But, when we found the prothean tech on Mars, things did happen a lot rapidly than expected.”

“Think this has changed your mind on where to live?” She smiled. Suvi was still looking at the ground, for we had both tripped, and sometimes fallen, on various natural traps of sticks, rocks, and air.

“It is beautiful.” I thought for a moment. “But, I don’t know. I would want to wait until things have settled down much more and see if we aren’t trying to live on some inactive Star Destroyer.”

She chuckled, “Nothing’s perfect.”

“This spot over here looks great, though.” I pointed towards a calmed river leading into a deep lake. “Only thing is missing is a waterfall.” I joked.

“Think we should take tests to see if it’s picture-worthy?”

“Oh, yes. We will need to take many different samples of the various angles and lighting effects. Could have drastic outcomes dependant on the variables.” I wasn’t much of a pure scientist like she was, I trained in engineering. So, smashing things together to see if they work, especially words, was one of my specialities.

She snorted. “Yes, but time is a variable here. In the hour it takes to get back, the other variables will have changed. Since they are dependant on time.”

I thought for a moment. “Bah, let’s just take the damn pictures.” I heard her agree as she chortled. At least the smiling will have come naturally.