#and the worst part is it takes forever to find anything because i cant look it up by the sound of it

[screechingsandwichhologram]

AUGGHHHHHH !!!!! HAVING LANGUAGE ISSUES !!!!!!

my grandmother calls my mom and also me sometimes this one word. it sounds like it would be spelt "pit" but i'd wager its not that. i don't know what exactly it means and i don't know how to spell it but its french canadian and is a term of endearment. help.

[hearts4leeknow]

pushed away || lee minho (leeknow) x reader

Warning(s): no comfort (at least not in this part), hurtful words unrequited love uses of y/n (pls im sorry idk what leeknow is supposed to call reader) SWEARING!!!

Genre: angst

Summary: you two have been bffs since forever, you two know everything about each other. well not everything.

minho has yet to tell you about the fat crush he has on you, he’s scared it’ll ruin everything so he thinks pushing you away will solve this situation, but it only makes it worse. he ends up loosing his bff the one he loves in the process.

leeknow x reader

!!LOWERCASE INTENDED!!

a/n: just got a random idea based on nothing!

you and leeknow were inseparable, you two told each other everything… well maybe not everything.

what he didn’t tell you is that he liked you, like was an understatement, more like love you. of course he couldn’t tell you what if it ruined years of friendship, what if it makes it awkward what if he gets rejected. he hated rejection and he can’t bare loosing such a precious bond. his feelings for you only surfaced a few months ago, he realized he liked- no loved you when he had gotten extremely sick due to sweating and performing in the rain making him super weak and unable to walk properly due to dizziness. so you took care of him, everyday made him food and soup, tried to make his sick days less cloudy and more sunny, and it worked. you made his worst days still feel happy, that’s when he fell for you and oh boy he fell hard. how was he supposed to handle this, now he gets flustered every time you speak to him he can’t continue like this and he can’t just tell you what if-

“minho hyung” han snapped his fingers in front of minho’s face.

“hi” is all he responded with.

“you were zoning out think about…?” han questioned curious of what his hyung was thinking about.

“oh nothing just spacing out cause you’re to boring” he lied with one of his snarky remarks.

“rude!! i am not boring” han pouted while he flopped onto the couch. you walked in talking to felix.

“min!” you smiled seeing your best friend seated on the couch.

“hi y/n” he returned the smile. felix sat down next to han as those two talked you and leeknow had your own conversation flowing.

oh how leeknow was struggling to keep his composure, you looked so cute in the tight short sleeved shirt with baggy cargos. he felt his face heating up but he was good at hiding it.

“min? are you okay you’re spacing out” you looked concerned and confused. minho usually tells you what’s wrong immediately because he knows he can’t hide it from you, but today he just shook his head.

“min, are you sure you don’t wanna talk about it?” you asked feeling a little hurt that he didn’t want to tell you what was wrong, but you knew if it was something personal you couldn’t force it out.

“i’m just not ready to tell you yet” minho mumbled with a slight frown, he could tell you were upset by it.

“it’s okay take your time” you give him a light smile trying to make him feel at ease. little did you know this would be one of the last real convos you would have with him.

—�� 🎀 ——

you 🌷: minnie we haven’t hung out in a while! movie night?

min 🐈: i cant im sorry

you 🌷: how come? we barely hangout anymore..

min 🐈: busy

you 🌷: minho cmon you’ve been saying you’re ‘busy’ for weeks now, what’s wrong?

min 🐈: nothing just want time for myself

you 🌷: ok…

you switched off your phone and flopped down onto your bed.

he’s been ‘busy’ for weeks and he’s saying he wants time to himself but he’s had 3 weeks for that

you thought, you knew there was no way he was just busy or wanted time to himself. wouldn’t he have told you what’s up so you don’t worry? does he not want anything to do with you anymore because he finds being friends with you is embarrassing? it hurt to think about it, now what if that’s what he wanted?

no, it can’t be.

that’s what you kept telling yourself but at the 3 week mark it wasn’t working anymore, you kept getting worried and you felt helpless. you’ve had enough and so you called him…

—— 🎀 ——

ring ring ring…

he picked up his phone seeing your photo as the banner with your name ‘y/n (my love💞)’ he read and he answered.

“minho!” you screeched

“what!” he mirrored the energy

“tell me what’s wrong please? i know it’s not just that your busy or need time to yourself, please!” you begged and pleaded for him to tell you, he wanted to tell you trust me he just didn’t know how.

“i can’t” he didn’t dare say more than that, your pleading voice broke him but what else was he supposed to do?

“minho, i feel like i’ve been pushed to the side by my best friend since childhood, we barley hangout together your always ‘busy’. you’re not telling me something, please?” your voice broke mid sentence, you were at your breaking point.

“no, i can’t always hangout with you! i have a busy idol life unlike you.” minho spewed out in an instant not realizing his words until after.

“what the fuck? minho, im busy too but i always make time for you.” you frown when you hear him lash out.

“whatever, your annoying and just a distraction to me anyways” minho scoffs.

“im-im annoying? ive been your best friend for who knows how long, i’ve always been there for you and now im annoying and just a distraction? wow, i thought you were different, minho. i’ve been trying to drop hints that i like you! but i guess all i am to you is a distraction.” you spill out all the emotions that were inside of me, you were hurt and felt betrayed. “i dont think i wanna talk to you after this.” you say my voice was quiet.

“wait-wait, y/-“ you hung up before minho could finish talking.

——🎀——

as soon as you hung up everything came crashing down on him.

you liked him?

he thought, you liked him back and he ruined everything with his attitude and harsh words. hes hurt the love of his life, how is he supposed to get you back after such words left his mouth? angry tears trickled down his face, this anger wasn’t directed to you though, it was directed to himself. hes messed up, and hes messed up bad.

——FIN——

a/n: i dont know why i decided to post this sosososoossoo late!! im so sorry i havent been active, i havent been feeling well lately. but i promise ill have more stuff up soon! 🤞🏻🤞🏻💞

a/n: @sona1800 IVE LEFT MY POOKS WAITING FOR TOO LONG, im so sorry bby you waited to long and it’s not even that good. i hope you still some what like it 💞💞 (lemme know if i should make a pt2 and if i should make it angst or fluffy 👀👀)

[moonangel022]

Oh, I remember piece missing ice king and fionna ’s eps timeline. How about simon and fionna each other love in hidden dream. 

Holly jolly secret part 2 

Hello, my name is Simon Petrikov.  I am recording this tape so that people will know my story. I was studying to be an antiquarian of ancient artifacts. Now I never believed in the supernatural stuff myself, just had a fascination with superstitions. But everything changed when I came into contact with this item. After purchasing this crown from an old dock worker in northern Scandinavia, I brought it home and excitedly showed my fiancee,Betty. I jokingly put it on my head, just for a laugh or something, and that's when it started the visions. I fought with them, shouted at them until I realized it wasn't real! It was the crown! I quickly took it off and saw my fiancee in front of me, looking at me with such contempt! What had I said? What had I done when I wore this crown? All I know is, I never saw Betty again. Since then, I now see the visions always I'm really scared I know my mind is changing, but I'm already too far gone to know what to do. I want people to know that if I do things, if -- if I do things that hurt anyone, please, please forgive me! Just watch over me until I can find my way out of this labyrinth in my brain and regain my sanity! And then maybe Betty, my princess maybe you will love me again. [VOICE BREAKING.] Please love me again, Betty! [CRIES.] 

simon become ice king born

I studying psychology romantic health... I feeling bad about poor simon because betty run away from him need help love each give his mind control but failed.  

he is right, he need try his control mind figure key is love but betty feel scared not want see him insane try kill people.. I know betty and simon are not health together in ep betty and king’s romson and his broken crown and hero heart and skyhook 2 (worst) and temple of mars and come along with me sad betty into glob fuse. Betty goodbye simon take crown again in fionna tv jerry. 

ice king/ simon suffer though his mind go lose sanity forever and crown keep simon live like immortal and simon’s memory sleep, he waiting 1,000 year waiting love soon arrive fionna born in his brain by prismo creation fionna.

Prisoners of Love    finn and jake fight meet ice king, ice king voice sound serious and adult and mature as Finn and jake says nerd and sexy hot. That hint simon is nerd and ice prince is sexy hot. Nuts finn and jake not know says. Ice king said marriage is a serious thing and lasts forever. Hint he reach key happiness and love in future fionna. 

When Wedding Bells Thaw 

Ice king learn old swans kiss try tell him show. Ice king say marriage is a thing that allows me to capture a Princess forever and let her live inside of me and marriage. Hint wait year few later his mind live with fionna born her world from primso the wishmaster ep 4, he ask ice king, can I store a fan-made alternate universe in your cursed dome? Ice king says  Sure, magic flashlight! You can put anything you want in there. 'Specially if it's got a hot lady. Primso says Cool. Hold still for upload. Ice king says Whoa! Fire in the hole! ( Modem buzzing ) Fionna and Cake: What time is it? Ice king says ( Laughs ).. uh past i watch saw everything I found learn about ice king has hidden romantic with her in mystery dungeon, i know that proof he says feel strong and true is fall in love fionna. but primso not know ice king has hidden romantic with fionna in dream is real. I saw notice fionna and cake episode, she say cant wait and marry him in fionna tv ep1 was ice prince. Notice he sleep take kiss with his hand self in dream with fionna in mystery dungeon.. You see!! Omg! 

Come Along With Me/ Obsidian 

Simon lose his crown magic and normal by cured glob. Simon can't remember of ice king and fionna and cake fics wait. I notice simon habit ice and use dresss old ice king in Obsidian, but I think that ice’s soul/memory is sleep. I feel miss ice king. Too fionna and cake cant remember. 

Finally time 12 year now 

Thanks Astrid love fionna and cake fanFics and reach get ice king aka simon, she question explain fionna and cake at him being unlock his mind ice king’s soul finally wake as he behave slight madness and sadness, he can't stop still mind fionna and cake for 3 day both mind and dream ice prince find fionna. Ice king/simon want find get fionna and cake out portal his brain, Because ice king vow for fionna wish want see his home OOO in bad little boy ep. Evil goose witness/know seen Simon being behave as ice king by astrid bother ask his mind wake of ice king. Nuts, I praise astrid give key his mind unlock of ice king wake! 

You seen simon smile look only fionna and touch hand each other and he protect fionna. obviously That simon is ice king’s soul person. 

But not yet simon and ice king has share memory soon and hope his new form ice prince after simon take ice crown again. Cross fingers. 

[ao3wasntenough]

One shot. Bot Sam finally can save himself and kids from decepticon, Sam finally enough with miko and salt on his wound since the kids entering base. (Remember this Sam is unstable)

*Sam look miko with murder intends, and miko for first time feel scare and Sam look about either hit her or shoot her but luckly Sam still have control that part but he still mad *

Sam : what we told you about don't sneaking in mission? Don't follow us. It's was really lucky that I can four of us. Are you very suicidal? *Sam start screams at miko and make her start crying, jack and raf trying calm Sam but it make Sam intention change to them*

Sam : you *pointed at jack* I am sick of heard you whining about your mother being protective and now she in base, you still whining about her. I will doing anything to just hug my mom again.

Sam : you *pointed at raf* you have chance to walk away when got option,you are younger than two of them decepticon, yet you choose to stay , you have option. I will give anything to back my loser boring life

Sam : THREE OF YOU ARE UNGRATEFUL CHILDRENS. *the kids actually started crying and miko already sobbing*

Optimus : ENOUGH, SAM

Sam : NO Optimus. You brought them in base and you let June Darby entering base to keep her son and give them all nice things. How about my mom? I can't even say I love her again to her. Why you give them all best and you give he nothing?!!

*Sam start crying*

Sam : I gave you everything and this is how repay Me? I lose my friends,my family and my humanity because of you. I gave everything to you and now I am stuck in this war forever, it's all because of you. I wish I never meet you.

*then Sam run away. Bumblebee torn between want comfort Sam or raf*

Arcee: bumblebee chase Sam. He need his best friend to calm himself, let's us take care the childrens. *bumblebee follow Sam*

Optimus: childrens, I want apologize for Sam name. It's my fault to not my decision make Sam pain be more worst and he released it to you.

(This is dialogue version. But we'll I am not really good at dialogue)

would "rubbing wires raw" and "playing with frayed wires" be appropriate phrases 🤔

but yeah i can see these gripes being very true to sam, choosing to put everyone at risk for adventure and epicness, being ungrateful and neglecting their families and their human lives being caught up in the autobots.

imaging all the kids being upset and even crying i can just imagine how painfully overwhelming that situation would be for everyone. humans and autbots.

everything Optimus or anyone says would probably only push Sam further into emotional hysteria. building up how upset and frustrating he finds the whole being tied seemingly forever with the autobots, he probably never genuinely opened up emotionally enough given he doesn't know how to navigate the social differences between the two races.

and the kids just become the mirror he wants to smash

poor painfully human Sam being forced to conform and transform. to watching kids make the same mistakes he's made, and people he knew and will never see again make.

in situations like these I think where could he even go, what could even come next for him. I can see him running. running as far and as fast as he can to loose bee because he cant keep facing optics judging him trying to gauge how much of a feral creature he is trapped in metal.

[attackradish]

Hello my mental health is the worst it’s been all year. If not longer

I could verify this by going through my vent tag but I am not going to because that takes time. This trait of mine is part of the problem but I’m not in a place to fix that right now.

ANYWAYS why am I like this. I have some inklings as to why.

Work is now opening an hour sooner. Meaning I have to wake up earlier and I have been losing sleep as a result. This is not good for the Mental Health

Current drama with a coworker that I am not going to go into that because it’s complicated and rather stupid.

Today was supposed to be my Tax Day where I did my Taxes but I was hit by dread this morning so I didn’t get around to it until like 5PM and then realized I don’t have one of my W2 forms and I can’t go looking around for that because my dad will tell me how stupid I am and how I never care about anything and am doing this on purpose. And I actually can’t care about anything I feel, but it’s not like I’m not trying it’s just that I have no soul.

I cannot give my friends the attention they deserve. I am burnt out I have no energy left for being a friend and yet there are people who miss me. And I can’t be there often enough for them not to miss me. I am neglecting them and I am a terrible person but I need to be alone.

I really do feel that I have reached my full potential. There is simply not enough caring or gumption or whatever it is I’m missing in this body of mine to achieve anything further. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to move out or date or even get a job I like better than DQ. I’m done being closeted in my parents house and I’m ready to quit early.

I can’t quit early. Firstoff I have friends who care about me, and I can’t imagine what it’d do to them. I’ve got a baby niece in the house too who smiles when she sees me so I gotta live for her too. And that’s not mentioning how difficult and impractical non-painful methods of dying are. Seriously. Best option I have is locking myself in the walk in freezer with a CO2 canister, but I learned from a cool book I read that high concentrations of CO2 will make you feel like you’re suffocating, and the best gas for that purpose is Nitrogen. Which costs money and is very conspicuous.

I also don’t want to die. I just want the suffering to be over, and death really seems to be the only way out aside from Miracles like universal housing passing within the next year or two, or I attain Godhood and can just do as I please. I think about dying and it makes me want to cry. Being on the verge of tears for long periods of time really does something for my perception of my mental health, being that I haven’t been like this since the family dog died. Maybe crying would do me good.

I should probably get a therapist but I don’t have time or energy for my friends, scheduling these things takes time and effort and I don’t want to have to talk to my parents about it. I should probably get antidepressants. Also my laundry basket from yesterday isn’t even all the way filled up and it’s 9:58. And I have work tomorrow but no uniforms. God I just need to rest.

BUT HERE’S THE THING ABOUT REST. I’VE ALREADY HAD A WEEK OFF OF WORK BECAUSE OF THE FEVER. MY JOB IS UNDERSTAFFED AND I CANT MAKE THEM SUFFER THROUGH THAT AGAIN AT SUCH SHORT NOTICE.

Anyways I have been putting no effort into finding a place since like last year, or finding a therapist. Or really anything. I’m not sure if I can even do that. I have reached my limit. I’m simply not much substance. I’m nice to have around and talk to but quite frankly I don’t have it in me to actually survive on my own. I don’t have it in me to die either. So who knows what is going to happen. I’m going to rot forever. Dying a slow death with nothing but fantasy to dull the edges.

I have a friend who’s offered to let me crash at their place, but I can’t take them up on that offer because I’ll just be the same lifeless rock that I am. Forever. And I can’t do that to them. If I can’t break free on my own then I’m afraid I never will. My chrysalis will just stay gathering dust. Sapping resources. I need to grow wings but I don’t know if I can.

So here I remain. Closeted at my parent’s house. Probably forever. The brain does not engage. I’ve been dead for years but the body still breathes. This is all I am and it is not enough. I’m gonna pretend I live in Star Wars now until I forget the useless thing that I am. I have work tomorrow.

[caz-is-gay]

so. currently actually sobbing bc i made the horrible decision to look through techno’s channel. i saw the gravity mod vid he posted after the announcement that he had cancer. i remember being so happy. sbi content! god. i still haven’t watched the video. yknow the one. a year ago i tried to watch squids video on part of the potato war. i didnt get 3 mins in b4 i heard his voice (he was celebrating!! he was happy!) and started crying. maybe in a decade ill be able to watch it and smile. and ill be able to watch the new one, and old ones and laugh like i used to. i looked through the community posts. he really loved birds, didnt he? i feel so bad for his dad.

june 2022. worst month of my life i think. everything happened at once. on june 1st lizzy was over. i was so desperately in love with her. still in denial about the inevitable friend zone. we went to zydecos grad party! she left halfway through to call her ex. they got back together. the facade was broken. obviously she didn’t like me back and anything romantic with her is a pipe dream. (i mean who would ever love to be attracted to an ugly fat pig like me?) so lizzy is over. im trying to ignore the heartbreak. then i hear the news. techno died. my sister hears it from a friend and tells me. the ppl we have over dont get it. they dont get why it hits me so hard, and god i dont want to explain it. so i pretend im fine. keep hosting, keep being nice. every second is agony! i cry myself to sleep. that had stopped a few months ago. i wasnt suicidal anymore but god. 2 weeks later im starting to back to *normal* levels of summer break depression. my dad finds out. he loved techno. im gone again. my mom fonds out, she doesn’t know who he is., doesn’t know the other 3 ppl at the table have already been grieving. shes lost so many to cancer. “did you hear about that minecraft youtuber who died of cancer? he was only 23, its so sad” i didnt know what to say. “yes i watched him everyday for 4 years his videos were the only thing that could get me to sleep when i started having suicidal thoughts if not for him i wouldn’t be here and now he dead.” yeah.

i still didn’t get over lizzy for months. fantasizing about a life with her was my escape. it was unrealistic and i couldn’t think about her like that anymore. then my dad brought covid home from work. june 23rd, my mom almost dies. thats the worst day of my life. it was mcc day. i was watching it on my tv, because my dad went to see his parents and mom was sick. she had been in bed for days. she got sick a lot. she had bronchitis for 10 years at this point. i was taking care of her. she was obviously delirious. asking me to pour water on her because she was so hot. i didnt know what to do. i waited for so long. i couldn’t deal with this right now i needed to de stress not have more. it got too much, i called my dad and he said she must have high blood sugar. fuck. i looked at her insulin log, nothing written for 2 days. fuck fuck fuck. he told me, if she cant draw her own blood for a reading, call 911. so we did. she could have died. if i waited any longer she could have passed out and stopped breathing. she went to the hospital. medically induced coma, intubated. she had told us many times shed rather die than be on a ventilator. none of us mentioned it. she was in a coma for 2 weeks. woke up, had to be in vent for longer. she was finally extubated. she couldn’t talk but she managed to be sarcastic still. i had to hold back tears. best day of my life.

that month changed the course of my life forever. my disability was most likely caused by the mild covid infection i got b4 my mom got sick. my mom doesn’t have a fungal lung infection anymore. my parents are sleeping in the same room again, and going to therapy. my mom has a cgm and a cpap and is on top of her health.

i cant stand the sounds of artificial breathing after sitting next to her for so long. im more afraid of my future than ever. im still getting over my best friend (fuck being demiromantic man) and i am still crying over technoblade.

[sirisuorionblack]

Counting...

Sirius Black x Reader

Summary - (Y/N) had been waiting for four very painful hours for the return of her boyfriend and he did just for mere minutes but she was determined to get him back.

Warnings - So many tears that u could bathe in and fluff.

(Y/N) sat at the dining table, alone, a coffee that turned cold being left unattended, her foot tapping anxiously and she blankly stared at the mahogany wood though her thoughts ran wild.

It's been four hours, very long four hours since Sirius - her beloved boyfriend - was supposed to be back home by the time from a "mission" but he still hasn't returned just adding fuel to the blazing amount of worry she had been enduring these days. She was a strong woman, Sirius always told her that, he would add it with a chuckle just realising how lucky he was.

Rapid knocks pulled her away from her trance. She gulped, taking out her wand and arming herself as she tentatively walked the door.

Upon unlocking, the door swung open and Sirius - she just knew it was him - smashed his lips against hers, pushing the two of them inside, pinning her to the wall.

He kissed her as though there was no tomorrow, as though he was terrified of something beyond her knowledge. He kissed her hard. A deep intuition in her just rang those bells of alarm. 

(Y/N) pulled away, cupping his face as he heaved deep breaths, his head ducked and his whole body shivering. 

"Hey, hey, Sirius, look at me," she pressed, softly as she tried to get him to look at her for she would read him like an open book once she saw his eyes.

When she did see those grey orbs, a soft gasp tumbled from her lips. There was no such thing as a sparkle in his eyes anymore, it was hollow, empty and filled with tears.

"Sirius, what happened?" She asked, worried beyond any level. A sob racked his body, his hands clawing hers as he tightly held them.

"James," he muttered through his sobs.

"James? What happened to him!?" She asked her eyes widening with fear, "Sirius, what happened!?"

Sirius flinched and tried to regain his breath, "James and Lily - they - that rat - he killed them!" 

He sank to his knees in front of her but she stood there watching him sob uncontrollably as she numbly tried to comprehend the situation vaguely.

Giving up her attempt she too, collapsed before him, collecting him in her arms as he held onto her as if she was his lifetime. Not a single tear strung her eyes rather she blankly stared ahead, holding Sirius tightly in her arms.

It would take her years to accept what had happened, she lost them, she lost her best friends, she lost her almost family but what actually made her feel something was how Sirius felt, he lost the one he called his brother right after he lost his own, the girl he saw growing accustomed to their shenanigans and keeping them on the line was simply gone. He wouldn't hear his laughter anymore, he would see her lovely emerald eyes anymore and all because of the person they considered their best friend.

Rage passed through her though it subsided the moment a beaming Harry's face crossed through her mind.

"Sirius, Harry!" She vaguely exclaimed. 

Sirius' sobs intensified and she waited until he calmed down enough to speak.

"Hag-Hagrid took him and I-I did a foolish thing," Sirius said, not meeting her eyes as he felt his head spin.

Her eyes widened, filled with an excessive amount of worry, "Wha-?" 

She didn't even get to finish the question before the door burst open, a group of Aurors stood at the door, their wands outstretched, glaring at the couple sitting on the ground in each other's much-needed embrace.

"Mr Black," the Auror in the middle, growled as he stepped in. (Y/N) and Sirius scrambled to their feet, (Y/N) before Sirius. 

"Ms (L/N), move over, he is dangerous," A female Auror said softly, outstretching her hand and looking at her as though she was a child about to throw a tantrum. 

"Dangerous?!" (Y/N) scoffed, "Absolute bullshit!"

"Ms (L/N), step aside," Another Auror commanded her.

Sirius slipped his hand into hers, squeezing it, searching for the warmth he was afraid he would be deprived of.

The two Aurors in the front whispered amongst themselves. Suddenly one of them harshly pulled (Y/N) back, dragging Sirius away from her.

"NO!" She yelled as she struggled against the restraints of the Auror holding her back by the arm.

Before her, Sirius struggled to remove his arm from the Auror wanting nothing more than to just rush into her arms and be in her comforting embrace though that seemed like a wild fantasy at that moment. 

Finding (Y/N) too hard to be held back, the Auror muttered a spell under her breath. (Y/N) straightened, her eyes turning blurry. She balanced herself against the wall, shaking her head and blinking her eyes.

"Sirius," she muttered, slipping in and out of consciousness. She no longer was able to stand on her feet. And Sirius watched her, yelling her name over and over again until three Aurors bodily dragged Sirius. 

"(Y/N)!" Sirius yelled as he tried to pry the Aurors' hands at the same time (Y/N) whispered, "Don't go, Sirius," watching as he struggled against them and then, blank.

"(Y/N)," she heard someone call her name, "(Y/N),"

"Moony!? Moony is it you?" She asked, trying to open her eyes.

"Yes, yes, it's me," Remus said, helping her sit up. When Remus had entered Sirius' home after he had received the news, tears staining his cheek, he found the door blast down, not a soul aware of what had happened and what he next saw disturbed him senseless. For a second he was scared into oblivion, for a second he doubted his best friend, for a second he pitied that traitor as he saw (Y/N) laying on the ground motionless.

Remus had rushed to her, racking his brain all the difficult charms and methods he had been taught to wake her up but in the state of panic, he forgot the simplest method of all - just shaking her to wake up.

(Y/N) sat on the floor, her back against the wall, her hand clasped tightly in Remus', she took deep breaths. They sat in silence as the two of them tried to contemplate what had happened. 

"They dragged him, Remus, I don't know even why. They said he was dangerous; Sirius cant be dangerous, he isn't," she muttered, looking at him with tear-filled eyes.

Remus sighed as he sat on the floor, squeezing her hand comfortingly and took a deep breath for what he was about to say, "After he found out about...Peter, he left after him and Sirius seemed to have cornered him, and then the Aurors arrived when almost 12 muggles were killed, and they saw nothing of Peter except for his finger was found. Before they could arrest Sirius there itself he had apparated here,"

By the time Remus finished, (Y/N) had her head leaning against the wall, staring at the photo frame right before her. It was of Sirius and her, making goofy faces and smiling at the camera, it was a week after they graduated.

"Why would Peter do that?" She whispered as she finally looked into his eyes. Remus chuckled sadly, "You know him, very well honestly, he would want to be under those who were more powerful than him, so he joined," Remus gulped, "Voldemort,"

(Y/N)'s lips parted in disbelief, "He was the spy?"

Remus nodded.

"But how did he do it?" 

He sighed, "He was the secret keeper, it seems,"

"What?"

"Yeah,"

(Y/N) slapped a hand against her mouth as tears ran free from her eyes. Remus wrapped his arms around her, allowing his best friend to weep into his arms and he too, unable to hold the tears, let them stream down his eyes.

The morning when Dumbledore came to the household where Remus and (Y/N) sat, silently grieving for their best friends, not a word uttered by them, to inform Sirius has been sentenced to Azkaban for life, (Y/N) didn't feel sadness rather rage, "What!? He's not been given a chance to prove his innocence! You can't throw just him like that into Azkaban forever!" She yelled.

Dumbledore spoke calmly, "Ms. (L/N), please calm down. It's been declared by the Ministry, we cannot do anything about it,"

She took a deep breath and looked at the man pointedly, "Well, professor, if that's it, I don't find a reason for your presence here anymore,"

Dumbledore's blue eyes flashed but he apparated without a word nonetheless.

"What have you gotten in your mind?" Remus asked with a smirk as he looked at her pulling her hair into a bun and taking a deep breath.

"I am gonna prove Sirius' innocence and get my godson back," she said, determinedly as she left to her room leaving Remus sitting on the couch smiling to himself. When you have a determined (Y/N) with you, that's an announcement for the hell that is about to break loose and it could be positive or negative. 

"Coffee," Remus muttered, placing the flask on (Y/N)'s desk as he glanced over the papers and textbooks scattered on her desk, "What are these?"

(Y/N) sighed, placing her pen down and leaning back on her chair, tipping it as Sirius taught her, unconsciously and Remus didn't want to point it out to her, dampening the mood.

"It's so simple, honestly," She said, glancing at the papers and then at him, "I have to get Harry's custody, and if not me Sirius should, it's legally that way too. You can't just place a year old baby in a household of the worst sort of muggles, one that absolutely ignored the fact that she had a sister,"

She took a deep breath, "Now, to Sirius, you cannot arrest someone without any evidence, much less sentence them to prison with no trial permitted. If we just try to get him a trail then everything will fall back to normal,"

"As normal as it could be," Remus said carefully. 

(Y/N) sighed and nodded, "As normal as it could be,"

"What are we gonna do next?" Remus asked.

"Find someone who could help us officially for this,"

"Can't we, I dunno, do it ourselves?"

"I...I don't know,"

"We will give it a shot?"

"Damn right you are,"

Finally after two exhausting days, (Y/N) stood before Barty Crouch, some would say glaring at him, the other a cold fixated stare. She stood briskly, head held high without the minimal amount of shame or fear in that massive room, filled with people.

"Ms (Y/N) (L/N), you are here requesting another trial for Mr Sirius Orion Black." Barty Crouch said, looking at her through his glasses. 

She shook her head, "Demanding for a trial,"

Crouch's nose flared as he without any disagreement corrected his mistake, knowing far too well the capability of (Y/N).

"Now, the best Aurors have seen Mr Black on the spot laughing like a maniac as the street held 13 dead bodies, including his very own friend Mr Peter Pettigrew," Barty Crouch said.

"First of all, 13 dead bodies? When was Peter's body found?" (Y/N) asked, ignoring the whispers and mutters that grew thick in the council, her gaze fixated on the man before her.

"That's right. His body was never found," She said.

"So are you telling the Wizengamot that Mr Pettigrew just magically disappeared from the scene,"

"Oh please, this Wizengamot is for magic!" She stopped to look at the slightly embarrassed face of Crouch and smirked, just look at him in the end, "Besides, he could have apparated for all we know. But that's a matter for another day; all we have at our hands is a trial for a falsely imprisoned man,"

"Ms (L/N), I will be the one directing the Wizengamot today, so please," Crouch glared at her. Someone raised a hand amidst the crowd, Amelia Bones, "Mr Crouch, I think it's best if we allow her to explain her demand. We can vote," she said, looking at the council.

A little more than half of them raised their hands, "Ah, the motion is passed, Mr Crouch, we must let her speak,"

Barty Crouch's lips twitched, "Very well then, please proceed Ms (L/N),"

(Y/N) had a smirk rivalling Sirius himself's. She took a deep breath, this moment would determine her whole life, "I demand a trial for Sirius Black, with respect to the event that happened on the night of Halloween. I am quite blatantly ashamed that the most powerful ministry wouldn't grant a trial for an innocent man," there was a voice of disapproval. 

(Y/N) ignored it and continued, "I find it extremely disturbing that someone just based on his last name could be sent to Azkaban for a crime he allegedly committed. Now, Siri-Mr Black's relation with...James Potter was well known, they were almost brothers and the question here is how was he supposed to betray someone so close to him,'

"It was also known by almost everyone here about how Mr Black was disowned for going against the absurd ideas of his mother at the young age of 16, would that very man commit a crime as such!? And it's quite easy to find the truth here at the Ministry of Magic, a simple Veritaserum would do the job and if that didn't work, a check of memories of muggles at the spot would have shown the truth. And just as you said you have the best Aurors, allow them to seem the truth!"

(Y/N) finished, taking a sip of the water beside her and the council looked rather convinced by her speech. Once again Amelia Bones stood, "A vote again, perhaps, Mr Crouch?" She asked.

The man in question looked absolutely bewildered by how wrong things have been going now that the spotlight to it had been given. He nodded. 

"Great. Those in favour of granting Mr Black his fair trial upon the use of Veritaserum," she said and grinned as almost all the members in the council raised their hands.

(Y/N) beamed as Crouch announced, "Sirius Orion Black will be given his trial on the third of November, here at this very room with Veritaserum brewed by a highly talented Potions Master. Any objection? Very well then, Council dismissed,"

"Moony!" (Y/N) rushed into Remus' arms, tears stinging her eyes, "We did it, Moony! We did it!"

"You got the trial!?" Remus asked, grinning at her after she pulled away.

"Yes!" She chuckled happily.

"You did it!" Remus yelled as he pulled his best friend into a bone-crushing hug, wiping his own tears.

"When is it?" He asked, still beaming.

Her bottom lip quivered, "Third of November,"

Remus' shoulder slumped, Sirius had planned something that would have changed the two of their lives on that day, and it was part of the reason why he got arrested. Remus engulfed her in a warm hug.

"Don't worry, we know he is innocent," Remus reassured (Y/N), him moving to the stands while she stood in the front of the very room she struggled for a trial on November 3.

Minutes later, the Aurors escorted Sirius into the room, he looked glum and hollow. He looked as though he feared human touch anymore, as though all those bad memories within him surfaced. He looked fragile and in that moment (Y/N)'s heart shattered. 

She wanted to just rush into his arms and never let him go, hold him close to her, whisper soothing terms into his ears, for only him to hear.

Sirius glanced around the room, his eyes falling on (Y/N), he felt in the precise second nothing but pride blooming through his chest, she was his brave girl, he wouldn't worry about her, he knew she would survive. If his world hadn't collapsed, he would have called her his fiancee. 

"Mr Sirius Orion Black, after the request of Ms (L/N), you have been granted a chance to prove your innocence. You will be given two drops of the truth potion - Veritaserum, and then Ms Amelia Bones, will question you," Barty Crouch announced.

Sirius was then seated in the middle of the room, his eyes fixed on nothing but (Y/N) who smiled warmly at him and he felt as if there was nothing wrong, it's just another prank he got caught in, just another petty detention, just another pathetic duel with Slytherins, he felt a bloom of comfort spreading from his chest. He allowed a little smile, very minuscule to tug on the corner of his lips.

"You, Sirius Orion Black, son of Walburga and Orion Black?" Amelia Bones questioned the basics, testing the potion.

Sirius snorted, folding his arms before him and slumping on his chair, "Unfortunately,"

"You were a Gryffindor?"

He smirked, "Yes,"

"Well, Mr Black now let me know what happened on Halloween's night?"

Sirius took a sharp intake of breath and sat properly on the chair, "I went see Prongs first to tell about the ring and when I went there the roof of their house was absolutely collapsed and I was afraid what could have happened so I went in and," Sirius' voice broke and tears stung in his eyes just as it did to (Y/N), she never knew these.

"And I-I saw James laying on the floor, his eyes were open but....he wasn't- he wasn't moving and when I checked for his breath," Sirius took a deep breath, "There was nothing,"

Sirius retold what he had seen and done on that day, with pauses for breath and sips of water to calm himself down.

By the end, Amelia Bones was moved to tears so were the rest of the courtroom, especially (Y/N) who often wiped her eyes.

Bones turned to Barty Crouch, silently asking him for the final judgement. 

He took a deep breath, "Very well then, at the end of this trial, based on accounts given by the Accused induced with Veritaserum, I, Bartemius Crouch, hereby declare, Sirius Orion Black innocent!"

Remus and (Y/N) patiently waited for Sirius to change out of his Azkaban clothes and into the one he was wearing that day.

"Love?" Sirius called, tentatively, about four feet away. Tears started to stream down (Y/N)'s eyes as she ran towards him.

She threw herself into his arms, burying her head into his shoulders and chanting his name. Sirius slowly started to rock her, finally, the warmth he had been deprived of seeped into his body, he felt safe and...home.

"Darling, I am here, don't worry, it's going to be OK," He consoled her. The turn of events was almost hilarious for (Y/N), it was supposed to be her saying those words.

She pulled away, cupping his cheeks. There were dark circles under his eyes, his eyes - Oh goodness - they were a dark shade of grey, bad memories and tears clouding them, and he looked pale.

She couldn't hold her to see him anymore so she smashed her lips against his, inviting him for a passionate embrace. Neither of them knew until then that this was what they wanted, to feel the other, a silent reassurance that everything is going to be alright.

Remus watched as the two of his...remaining best friends held each other in a much-needed embrace, he smiled warmly. The surprise that would await the two of them by the other.

"Come on," (Y/N) beckoned inside their, squeezing Sirius' hand and Remus in tow, "Stay here," she said and disappeared inside a room.

Sirius took out the velvet box buried inside his coat pocket and showed it to Remus, who clapped him on the back and nodded encouragingly. 

When (Y/N) returned with a sleeping baby Harry in her arms, beaming, she didn't expect to see Sirius on his one knee, holding a velvet box open, a beautiful diamond ring shining inside.

The two of them gasped simultaneously as Remus watched with proud eyes, feeling like a mother watching her kids grow.

"I dunno what to say," Sirius said, "Everything I prepared flew out of my mind. But just one thing, I need you in my life, I need you for my sanity, I am absolutely nothing without you and you hold my world above, darling, if it wasn't for you it would have collapsed ages ago. Over everything else...I love you, so much that I can't even express it. I-will you, (Y/N) (L/N), marry me?"

(Y/N) nodded rapidly, unable to speak she rushed into his arms, still holding Harry carefully.

They pulled away after a moment and Sirius slipped the ring into her finger and took Harry in his arms, admiring how much he looked like his father.

"I love you, (Y/N)," he said, his arm encircling around her waist.

"I love you too," she muttered, laying her head on his shoulder.

"Remus," Sirius called, glancing behind for his best friend, "Group hug,"

Remus rushed to the three of them. Finally, they felt happy perhaps like tightly woven remainings of one big family.

[ablackfangirlwrites]

Y/n and aizawa get in a real big fight and y/n ends up kissing hawks and y/n keeps it’s a secret but aizawa ends up finding out through eri

Ooooo I like this one a lot!!! I hope u enjoy it I had a lot of fun writing it💕

"I think your overreaching." You said in a monotone to Aizawa

"I think your under reacting." He spat back at you, "Obviously, he has an another motive."

You rolled your eyes, "Hes my friend. Thats it shouta. Hes been my friends forever. Hawks is harmless."

The two of you were arguing about the only thing you two ever aruged about

Hawks

Aizawa wasn't comfortable with the realtionship that the two of you had

The lastest issue being an interview the two of you did together and hawks couldn't seem to keep his hands to himself

Aizawa didnt care that you two had practically grew up together

Or that the two of you did most of your missions together

One because whenever hawks was around it was obvious he was flirting with you dispite you being in a relationship with Aizawa

And two even through he knew you were fateful he couldnt stop the voice in the back of his mind saying maybe you would rather be with someone your own age

Someone you could relate to better

Unlike him who by his own words was a 'tired old man'

But you were content with your relationship with Aizawa

Yes he was older but you liked that about him

"Shouta I dont know how many times I have to tell you, it just isn't like that with hawks." You laughed

Aizawa clearly not seeing anything funny about about this spoke up again "You say that but clearly you've been leading him on if he doesnt even care to flirt with you even when im standing right there!" He yelled at you, "I dont want you hanging out with him."

"You're not my dad Aizawa! You cant to wll me what to do!" What started off as a little argument was turning into a full out yelling session

As it usually did whenever hawks was the subject

Aizawa was letting his insecurities speak for him and was saying words he knew he didnt mean "I dont see why you even stay with me, you like being around him so much why don't you just leave me and sleep with him already."

And feeling hurt you hurled insults back, "You know what? For once you might be right." And not wanting to sit in the apartment with him anymore you stormed out

How could he say something like that to you kept asking yourself

Why didnt he trust you?

You had never done anything to betray his trust so he really had no right

But deep down you knew you weren't so innocent

You could tell hawks to stop with a the flirting and stuff but you didnt

Just being content with it knowing it bothered Aizawa

And that wasnt right

And yes hawks was your close friend and you had to admit he was attractive and charming but you had gotten over your silly little crush for him

The moment you met Aizawa

As far as you were concerned hawks was just a friend

And thats why you found yourself venting your relationship problems to hawks tonight

The two of you were sitting on his couch alone in his apartment

As you ranted about the nights events

And as usual hawks sat there with an open ear and agreeing with you about how right you are

"I say hes cramping your style y/n,"

"You're a grown woman. He cant tell you what to do!"

"He should trust you!"

Basically telling you everything you want to hear

It was well into 2am when you finally calmed down and was seeing clearly

After a few more laughs with Hawks

"I just dont get him sometimes, if I wanted to be with you I would have just started dating you." You said with a laugh

But you notice hawks didnt seem to find that as amusing

Silence grew between you two until he spoke up

"Why didn't you?"

"Huh?"

"Why didnt you decide to date me?" He asked you

That question had been weighing on his mind since the moment he found out you were dating the eraser hero

"Keigo you know why..I...I-you're a player. And you never take anything serious-all you would have done was hurt me."

"Thats not true." He said in a rush

Hawks was looking into your eyes, "if it was you I wouldnt do anything to hurt you...its always been like that for me."

"Keigo..." you didnt know what to say

Yes you knew he always had a little crush on you but you convinced yourself it was harmless

"Why are you telling me this now?"

"Because even he said it! Why don't you leave him y/n? Me and you we'd be perfect together we both know it."

"Keigo...I love Aizawa."

"So you dont feel anything for me?"

"Its not that keigo..."

"What is it like then?"

You didnt want to tell him you didnt love him because secretly you knew a part of you did

But still

"I should leave." You said getting up and heading for the door

Keigo followed you, "y/n dont go."

He stoppes you before you were out the door, "look im sorry, I...I.. just love you y/n and I just hate seeing you with him..."

You turned around to face him sighing and trying to avoid his gaze "I dont know what you expect me to do keigo im with Aizawa..."

"I know," keigo moved his hand to your face to make you look at him, "but just for a second imagine you were with me."

And before you knew it keigos lips were on yours

You knew better then to kiss him back

But that didnt stop you

And since you didnt reject him, keigo took that as a sign to deepen it

You don't know how long you stood there kissing him

But when you felt his hands start to explode your body

It brought you back to reality

You pulled away realizing what you had done, "I cant do this." And before keigo could stop you

You left

You returned home that night to find Aizawa awake and waiting on you

"Did you go to see him?" He asked

And sighing you told him the truth or at least part of it, "Yes, I did."

"Y/n-"

"Look im sorry," you spoke up, "I should consider how you feel. Its not right for me to let him flirt, ok im sorry Aizawa it won't happen again."

You tell him trying to hold back tears as the guilt ate away at you

Aizawa's face softens as he looked and you and moved to hold you in his arms

"I was wrong for what I said. I know you wouldn't do anything."

His word only made you feel worst

Aizawa kissed your forehead, "lets go to bed."

And so you planned to keep what you did to yourself

You kept a distance from Hawks not knowing how to interact with him from then on

And all this did was hurt him

Keigo missed you

You were his bestfriend and the love of his life but now you were avoiding him

And worst he still had to see you with another man

And it drove him crazy

And to an extent it drove you crazy too

He was your bestfriend too, and you didnt know how to talk to him anymore

And Aizawa had no idea about what you had done

That is until one day when hes watching eri and she tells him

"Are you and y/n not together anymore?"

Aizawa frowned, "No. Why do you say that?"

"Cause, shes likes hawks." She said idly "I heard her say she kissed him."

Aizawa stared at her

Did she know what she was saying?

"When was this?" He asked

"She said it on the phone to her friend. When she was watching me."

Aizawa was at a lost, because he believed eri, cause why would she lie?

Aizawa didnt want to admit it but the idea of it being true

Broke his heart

He was in love with you, but you wanted someone else

Plus you lied you said nothing happened

So with this new knowledge Aizawa went to confront you that night when you two were home

"Eri told me something interesting..."

"Oh yeah?" You asked not really paying attention

"She said you-you kissee Hawks...is this true."

You snapped your head at him

And if it wasn't that it was definitely your silence that confirmed it

"Y/n...why?" He asked you

And you could hear the pain in his voice

And it made you hate yourself knowing you caused this, "I'm so sorry."

A part 2? Maybe? Let me know

[walkingchemicalfire]

5 times Whumpee Heard “Look at me.”

+1 Time They Said It

@whumpmasinjuly Day 9 prompt: “Look at me”

A/N: So this is six snippets throughout a Whumpee’s journey. I’m combining the WIJ prompt with my secret sunflower gift for the greatest person and my dear friend, Fae @whumpywhumper

CW: torture, knives, stress position, tied up, blood loss, bleeding out, stabbed, oxygen mask, intubated whumpee, vague gaslighting, reference to being muzzled, panic attacks, reference to paralysis, learning to walk

~~~~~~

From Whumper:

Whumpee jolts awake at the sound of the keys jangling outside the door. Whumper is back and going to hurt them again. This had been the routine for the last two weeks. Whumper had abducted them and tortured them every day since. It was the only thing Whumpee could rely on.

The door opens and there stands Whumper, twirling their favorite knife with a bemused smile on their face that made Whumpee’s gut curdle in fear. They turn their face away and shut their eyes, trembling in anticipation of the pain to come.

“Ah, ah, ah, Whumpee,” Their voice dripped with false playfulness as they grip their chin and dig their nails into the skin “Look at me.” They demand. Whumpee whimpers but does so, met with the sight of Whumper’s smirk and their blade coming closer and closer until they feel it against their collarbone.

Whumper takes their time moving the steel across Whumpee’s chest, never cutting, although they could do so easily, just gliding it back and forth. Whumpee looks into their captor’s eyes as they stutter out a desperate, ��P-please,”

“Aww, begging so sweetly already?” Whumper asks before they flash a wicked grin and slice across Whumpee’s pectoral. Whumpee immediately cries out and Whumper claps their palm over their mouth. Whumpee squeezes their eyes closed so tightly they feel like they might seal them shut forever.

“Hey!” Whumper shouts and Whumpee snaps their eyes open. “I said I wanted you to look at me.” They cut another matching slice on the other pectoral while keeping eye contact with Whumpee. “I want to see your eyes as you fall to pieces.”

~~~~~~

From Caretaker:

Their wrists stung sharply in the restraints over their head. They couldn’t feel their arms, but their shoulders were wrenched up so tightly that was enough agony for a lifetime. But the worst was their back, oh god, their back. Whumpee wished that their back was numb like their arms. In fact, if they're wishing for things, they wish they could go back and not ask for the whip instead of the knife. Stupid, so stupid. All they wanted was to not have the knife again. It always hurt so bad, but that was nothing to the whip. They know better now.

Their toe slips off the edge of the stool and they gasp as all their pain roars to life. Their foot scrambles in the air as their other begins to lose traction as well. Panicked, they look down their body to try to see their target, but their vision whites out and they cant see, they cant see--

“Whumpee!” Caretaker’s voice reaches through Whumpee’s fog “Hey, hey, hey, Whumpee, Whumpee, look at me, look at me!” The voice sounds urgent so Whumpee listens and obeys. They spot Caretaker tied to a chair down below them. Caretaker tries to smile when they lock eyes “There you go, just like that, Whumpee. Just keep looking at me. You can get through this, I know you can, just look at me.”

Whumpee didn’t feel so scared anymore, not while gazing into Caretaker’s determined brown eyes. They are safe with them.

~~~~~~

From Whumper (and Caretaker):

This was the end. They were sure of it this time. Whumper had shoved the blade in too deeply this time. They had nicked something vital and now Whumpee was fading away. They already felt cold, they knew it wouldn’t be much longer, then this hell would finally be over. They would be free of Whumper. That sounded nice.

“Couldn’t just be quiet, could you?” Whumper seethes, standing over them. “Couldn’t just be my good little Whumpee like I taught you huh?” They wipe the blood soaked blade across their shirt. “And now look at me,” Whumper sighs “Having to put down my best, right in their prime.” They shake their head “Such a waste, look what you made me do, Whumpee.”

Whumpee’s vision swims and their head lolls to the side. They see Caretaker pounding on the thick glass window. Their mouth is open in a soundless scream, or at least soundless to Whumpee, their ears aren't working so well right now. They can’t think of why. Thoughts are hard, maybe they should just sleep. Yeah, sleep sounds nice.

Whumpee drifts off, the last thing they see is Caretaker’s fierce brown eyes and their mouth moving to say silently, Look at me!

~~~~~~

From Rescuer:

Something is on their face. It’s covering their mouth and nose and they, oh no, it’s the muzzle again and they can’t breathe, they’re going to suffocate and there’s no air, they can’t do this again, they can’t--

“Hey there, take it easy,” a voice says nearby and their eyes shift over to find Rescuer. When did their eyes open? Were they open the whole time? Whumpee sees something in their lower peripheral, is it the muzzle? No, can’t be, this thing is plastic? It crosses the bridge of their nose and rests on their cheeks and under their chin. They don’t like it and try to shake it off.

“Ah, don’t do that,” Rescuer tells them, “It’s an oxygen mask, it’s helping you.”

“Nnnn…” Whumpee moans, letting their eyes close, wanting the darkness again.

“C’mon Whumpee, stay with me.” Rescuer taps their cheek until they drag their heavy eyelids open again, distant and unfocused. “That’s it, just look at me. You’re safe now.” They smile down at them when their eyes finally come to rest on Rescuer. “We found you.”

Whumpee opens their mouth to say something, but all that comes out is a harsh cough muffled by the mask over their face. Their eyes roll in their head and they hear Rescuer shouting and they’re being jostled and it hurts. Time to check out now.

~~~~~~

From Caretaker:

Whumpee floats on their cloud, not concerned with anything else but resting. It’s nice here, soft and so much nicer than with Whumper. Whumpee frowns and banishes the thought. They don’t want to think of Whumper now, it’s better this way.

“Whumpee? Can you hear me?” A familiar voice drifts down to them. They frown again, this time in concentration, they know this voice, but who is it? “You’re frowning,” The voice says and Whumpee looks around, not aware that they are being watched, but there is no one in the clouds with them. “I hope you can hear me, because I’ve got some things to tell you.”

“I can hear you,” Whumpee says but they don’t think the voice can hear them because they just continue on.

“I’m so sorry, Whumpee. I-I failed you. I failed you in the worst way possible and this,” They take a big gulp of air “This is all my fault.” The voice sounds sad and Whumpee doesn’t like that. It should sound strong and safe paired with beautiful brown eyes and, oh! Caretaker! That’s Caretaker’s voice!

Caretaker sighs “Please wake up and look at me,” There’s a ghostly caress to their cheek, Caretaker loves to touch them there and Whumpee can’t help but lean into it. “Please, just let me know you’re going to be okay.” Caretaker gets choked up and Whumpee listens to their stifled cries, following the sound through the clouds, up and up until they pop out the other side.

There’s no soft clouds here, but the hospital bed is nice enough. Whumpee takes their time coming back. Their body feels heavy but also loose. There are beeping and quiet whooshing sounds from somewhere. They want to find what is making the sounds so they push their eyes open and blink around hazily. Their throat feels thick and they cough to clear it, quickly realizing they can’t. They’re intubated. A tube is down their throat attached to a machine that is breathing for them.

Suddenly, Caretaker’s face is filling up their vision. “Oh my god, hi Whumpee, hi sweetheart.” Caretaker hastily wipes their eyes with one hand, still cupping Whumpee’s cheek with the other. “You did it, you came back to me.”

Whumpee blinks slowly in response and Caretaker chuckles in relief “Yeah, I know you’re still tired, it’s okay, you can rest all you want now.” Whumpee feels Caretaker brush their lips over Whumpee’s forehead as they fade back into the clouds “I'll be right here when you wake up again.” Whumpee likes the sound of that.

~~~~~~

From Themself:

Recovery is difficult, to say the least. Putting one foot in front of the other is a struggle, literally. Everyday, Whumpee pushes themself to take one step more, just one more. Step by step, they make their way across the room. It was always the hardest part to get moving, but once they started, they could keep going.

Today is a big day. They are going to walk across the entire room without any support from the physical therapist. They are going to walk all the way to Caretaker. Whumpee had kept Caretaker away while they learned to walk again. At the beginning, they had been embarrassed and ashamed at all the times they fell down or even simply tripped. As time went on and Whumpee got better, they changed their tune and kept Caretaker away in order to surprise them with how far they’ve come.

They watched their feet make the first few steps before looking up into Caretaker’s eyes and beaming brightly “Look at me, Caretaker! I’m doing it!”

Caretaker’s eyes grow misty as they watch Whumpee take confident steps all the way over to them. They scoop them up into a big hug when they take the final step, their heart overflowing with pride.

“You did it, Whumpee! I’m so proud of you!” Caretaker exclaims, peppering kisses across Whumpee’s brow and face.

Whumpee giggles and pats Caretaker’s cheek, gazing into their soft brown eyes. “Thank you, Caretaker, I wouldn’t have made it without you.”

“We made it together, Whumpee.” Caretaker replies, hugging them tightly to their chest “Always together.”

[literaila]

a bridge of chance

spencer x reader 

request: hi verity! i really reeaaaalllyyy love your writing, especially the more angsty ones but i wanted to request something with more fluff. i haven’t been feeling that well recently and i was wondering if you could write about the start about reader and spence’s relationship. where the reader has a hard time opening up and when they do, they’re afraid spencer is going to leave them. but then spence reassures them that he’s going to stay with them. (female or gender neutral reader is fine with me). thank you so much :)

warnings: fear, anxiety, some hints of depression, mentions of pain, fluff, crying, thats it, its very very long 

a/n: i’m sorry if its not what you expected! or if its too confusing (i wrote it so fast i cant even remember whats happening) * 

It was like walking across a bridge. 

It didn't seem hard, theoretically. All you had to do was walk forward, until you made it to the other side. A destination you’d been waiting to reach, hoping to find. It was only a couple of steps, meters away, a second of distance. 

But the fall was so far down. 

The chance of slipping, losing your footing, your balance, and falling off onto the edge of the earth, far away, where you would worry no one could ever find you again. It was a long way down. 

It was like walking across a bridge. 

And it didn't seem hard, but there was always that chance, a scary little ‘what if’ that stuck itself to the back of your mind until the task seemed impossible. Until falling, into loneliness and despair and all the bitter things of the world, seemed inevitable. 

She’d never told anyone that. She’d never uttered a word about how scared she was, how prone she was to falling into the darkness, into a world she’d climbed out far too many times. 

And she didn't plan to. She’d given up the hope of walking across a long time ago. She’d heard too many stories, too many failures, to trust herself to not fall off again. 

Because of that, she wouldn't. If she could just keep herself from needing to walk across, she’d never fall. 

And maybe that would turn out into a poor life, one where she never took risks, never had anything more than herself. 

But, she could live with that. She would make it through that. She wasn't sure she could make it through falling off again. 

***

She tried to ignore it. 

She tried to keep herself far away from the feeling. 

Remind herself of the bridge. 

Every night recently, she’d been having dreams. Strange dreams. Ones where she was walking, walking aimless and mindlessly, going nowhere, but finally stumbling across the bridge. It always got cold as soon as she saw it, and she could always feel the impending doom developing in her stomach, building itself into something new, but familiar. She begged herself not to walk across it, to turn around and continue walking nowhere, but she was being told what to do, and walking away wasn't it. 

She knew she was going to fall. She knew what this was, what it meant, and she didn't know why she wasn't allowed to turn around, and why she wasn't able to scream. 

She’d been having that dream for weeks. 

It’d been interrupting everything. She barely managed to get any sleep, always jumping herself awake before she could walk on it, before she could even attempt to let herself fall off. She spent all night chugging caffeine in any form, watching hours of tv until it was time to get ready for work. She took power naps during the day, excusing herself for lunch so that she could get at least fifteen minutes of sleep. 

It was pathetic and miserable. And she was glad that everyone else had pretended not to notice. 

And some nights she tried to go to sleep, taking pills enough to knock her out for a couple of days, hoping that they would be enough to help her sleep like the dead, with no dreams. 

But it didn't work. And she always ended up back by the bridge. The same one that she’d been seeing for weeks. 

The worst part was, she couldn't even pretend to be confused. There was no questioning from herself, no worries about what this strange dream meant, why she still hadn't crossed this bridge. She knew what it meant. 

She felt it every day. 

She felt it when she got her first cup of coffee in the morning, accidentally bumping hands with Spencer when they both reached for their mug. 

She felt it when they were away on a case, Hotch assigning the two of them to go talk to a witness, or check out a crime scene, or even stay behind and look over files both of them had already memorized. 

She felt it when he smiled at her. When they were both getting on the elevator to go home, he was smiling at her just because, and then giving her a small wave as they both made their way to their cars. 

She felt it when he looked at her, or said her name, or acknowledged her in any way. 

It was terrifying. But not confusing, no it had never been confusing for her. 

Because when she felt it, her heart sped up, her mind went blank, her eyes wavering on him for a moment too long, her hands picking nervously at her shirt, or her smile which never seemed to want to go away when he was around. 

It wasn't confusing. 

Her attention to detail, and knowledge of everything, made sure of that. 

And her dreams stayed the same, the feeling when she saw the bridge the same as when she saw him. 

She’d been there before. Too many times not to realize. 

She was in love with him. 

She was so desperately in love with him. 

And it was so threatening and so elating to be with him, far too exhilarating. 

Every time he smiled at her, she could feel herself walking forward, she could practically see the bridge in front of her, and she was ready to walk across it with him. She was ready to take that chance if he would just keep smiling at her like that. She was so free, and so nervous, and she could hear her heart begging her to go, to feel just as she did when he smiled at her forever. It was a desperate calling to be near him. 

But her dreams were vivid, and every night, when she saw that bridge, the one with all the memories, and all the burdens, and every terrible feeling she had ever gotten the chance to feel, she told herself not to go. She had made a promise to herself not to take the chance, not even for someone like Spencer. 

She saw herself slipping and falling, leaving him behind. And her feeling, the exhilarating one, she could see it being crushed in the fist of her own hand. 

And so when he smiled at her, she smiled back, just long enough to satisfy her heart, and turned around. Backing away from the bridge. Ignoring the feeling calling for Spencer to be next to her. 

She tried to ignore it. 

But it was so hard. So hard to keep herself away from him. 

Especially when he seemed to want to be near her just as much as she wanted to be near him. It was hard when he took the seat next to hers, bumping his knee against hers, sparking her leg with warmth for a second before moving it, and smiling at her. It was hard when he asked her if she wanted to get lunch with him, telling her about someplace he probably knew she would love, and she had to abandon the thoughts of her nap just to get the chance to go with him. It was hard when Garcia teased her about it, practically seeing through Y/N, and was relentless with her matchmaking. 

It was hard on days where she hadn't slept enough, hard to remind herself not to jump out of her desk and kiss him until they were both breathless. 

And it was hard because Spencer had started to get more daring with his advances. He’d been nervous to even be around her at first, she could tell just by the way his eyes danced around before looking back at her, but now, after months of spending more and more time together, he was no longer nervous, he looked right at her now, keeping eye contact with her as long as she would allow. 

It was crazy and nerve-racking, but Spencer had only been more and more willing to get closer and closer to her. 

And she would always say yes, to whatever he had asked her to do with him, whether it be going over to his apartment to watch a movie with him, playing chess in his hotel room when the cases were too much to sleep, going to dinner late at night when neither of them could sleep. She would always say yes, far too selfish to deny herself the pleasure. Far too tired to remember not to go. 

And besides, how could she say no to his eyes, which were wonderful and alive, and so very kind? 

Tonight, it was a movie. 

She hadn't gotten more than four hours of sleep in the past two days, but when Spencer asked her to come over, giving her one of his hopeful smiles, telling her that he promised he would get her favorite candy and that she could choose the movie, she almost begged herself to say no. 

She’d said yes. 

And the feeling, it was still there of course. All of her emotions, bunching together like she couldn't feel one thing at a time. 

Tonight was one of the nights where she almost couldn't breathe. She was used to watching movies with him now, after weeks of doing it she’d come to learn that he didn't like to stay quiet during movies, that Spencer preferred to make her laugh by commenting on something, or spilling some random fact about the movie itself. She’d always thought that people who couldn't stay quiet during movies were annoying, she’d always much preferred to enjoy the movie in silence, but now, she’d come to love Spencer's rambling. She’d always find herself waiting for it, even when he wasn't there, she was always waiting for him to say something. 

It was endearing. And terrifying. 

But that wasn't why she couldn't breathe. 

She wouldn't be able to breathe tonight because she and Spencer had gotten in the habit of moving closer and closer during these movie nights, neither of them saying anything about it, until one night she’d accidentally moved her head onto his chest, and instead of politely asking her to move like she’d expected him to, Spencer had only wrapped his arm around her shoulder, bringing her closer to him. 

It had almost stopped her heart completely. She didn't dare move even an inch that night. 

But after that, they always managed to find themselves tangled together, molded into each other's bodies like they were sand. And it seemed as both of them thoroughly enjoyed it, neither of them moving away. 

But it always made it far too difficult for Y/N to breathe through the movie, and most nights she couldn't pay attention to anything except the way Spencer's hands felt on her waist, how warm he was. 

She knew she was in far too deep. She could feel the warnings in her head, telling her to go home, to go to bed, and remind herself of the thing she was trying so hard to avoid. 

But, something was pulling her towards him, and she was too weak, too small, to pull back. 

So she was laying on the couch with him, a blanket wrapped over the two of them, Spencer having eventually noticed how cold she was and bringing it from his room. 

She felt very strange, very confused. 

This felt different than every other night. Kind of like they were both playing by the script. 

She could feel him breathing next to her, sometimes she snuck a glance at his face to see him still watching the movie, and she wondered what was going on. Why this felt so different. 

She was apprehensive about speaking up. She didn't want to ruin the night for him, and she didn't want him to move further away from her. 

But, the warning signs in her head kept going off. She kept seeing the bridge, over and over, reminding her just how scared she was to be so close to him, to feel like she did. If not being able to breathe didn't kill her, the fear certainly would. 

She tried to watch the movie, but she couldn't stop bringing up memories in her mind. 

Memories of people walking out the door, leaving her behind to fend for herself. She couldn't stop feeling and seeing the people she loved the most disappearing, fading into dust that she could never seem to find again. She imagined herself on the bridge, and she could see all the people she had trusted the most on the other side of it, she could see them laughing and taunting her. 

And she kept slipping, trying to get to them, trying to make it over, but she couldn't keep her balance, couldn't stay on her feet. 

And she remembered the feeling. The feeling of falling so far down that she couldn't breathe anymore, so far that she couldn't think, couldn't move, but could only look up, and wish that she knew how to dig herself out. She could only remember being nothing in a hole of darkness where no one could hear her. She could only remember the pain it took to dig herself out, the burning she felt when her fingernails were torn off from climbing her way out, the sting she felt when there was no one on the bridge anymore. And she was alone. 

She was sitting next to Spencer, enveloped in his warmth, in his care which he had proven to her over and over, time and time again, but she couldn't think about him, or the movie she had chosen herself. She could only see the memories become torn apart by the feeling she knew was so close to her. 

She couldn't try and walk, she couldn't fall again. 

She couldn't breathe when Spencer was so close. 

“I have to go,” she whispered, moving away from him, pulling herself from his arms, trying to keep herself from falling on the floor. 

She knew this was rude, and she knew that she really just needed to talk to him, and not leave him confused and alone in his apartment, but she couldn't think about it anymore and she really had to go. 

“Y/N?” 

“Sorry,” she whispered again, grabbing her bag and starting to put on her shoes. “I haven't been sleeping well, and I need to go home before I pass out, and thank you for the food and the movie, and I hope that-” she’d finally gotten both of her shoes on when she looked up at Spencer, saw him standing in front of her confused. 

She almost wanted to stay. 

She shook her head, getting herself out of those thoughts, she had to go. 

“You’re really being very nice, and I know this is incredibly rude, but I really do have to go and-” she paused, out of breath, realizing Spencer hadn't said anything. 

She walked over to the door, turning the handle, but not opening it yet. She turned back around, gave Spencer her best awkward smile. 

“I’m sorry. I’ll see you at work on Monday.” She turned to go, ready to save herself from the embarrassment.  

“Y/N?” 

She almost hit her head on the door, turning around so quick, she could feel her heart speed up at the way her name sounded coming out of his mouth. 

“Yes?” 

“Are you alright?” 

He took a step closer to her, the two of them reflecting body heat off of each other in such a smile hallway. Y/N felt her grip on the doorknob loosen.  

She was distracted by his eyes, which were still so bright and understanding, not reserved like she imagined hers were. He didn't look annoyed or confused or angry, just patient. Waiting for her to answer. 

She’d barely been listening. 

“What?” she whispered, just noticing how close he was. 

But Spencer still took a step forward, moving closer, and she could feel his breath on her forehead, and all she could see was him, him him, and she couldn't breathe. He was close, and she was so distracted, and she tried to take a step back, stumbling on her feet. 

“I asked if you were alright?” he said again, whispering just as she was, his eyes locked with hers. 

She couldn't look away, and he wasn't going to. 

She took a breath in, the air coming in handy when her lungs were so close to collapsing. 

He was closer, and she wasn't sure how that was possible when he seemed so close before. 

“I-” she breathed, watching him, her eyes drifting down to his lips, a place she had forbidden them from going. She was breaking all the rules, falling in too deep, but she didn't see how she could move now, how she would ever be able to survive when Spencer was so close to her. 

“Y/N,” he whispered again, his fingertips coming up to her face, grazing the place under her eyes, where the bags had gotten so much darker the past few weeks. “You’ve been so tired.” he followed, cupping her cheek with his hand. 

And she wasn't sure what was happening, but he was touching her, different from how they’d touched before. 

“I-” she couldn't think, didn't have anything to say. He was a nightmare, she’d been trying so hard to move away from him, but she couldn't anymore, she just couldn't right now. 

“Y/N?” he asked for the last time, his eyes moving away from the rest of her face, falling on her eyes again, looking at her. 

She hummed, no words, but acknowledgment being the only thing she could respond for the moment. 

“Can I kiss you?” he asked, his words flowing with the beat of her heart, and she didn't know what to do, how to think, how to breathe anymore, and she wanted him to. God, she wanted nothing more in the world than to be so close to him, than to remove the distance she could still feel between them. She wanted him to kiss her, to be there, and she didn't breathe a single word. 

She couldn't even nod her head anymore. 

She was so scared, so terrified, and there was nothing she could do to stop the burning in her chest, the fear in her eyes. She couldn't do this again, she’d been trying so hard to deny the truth, to deny the desperation to be with Spencer, to fall into his arms, to kiss him. She’d tried so hard, and she couldn't help but think that she had made a mistake coming tonight, that she shouldn't have come, that she shouldn't be there. 

She had made a promise. She’d promised she wouldn't do this again. 

And just like she had said the words out loud, Spencer moved back. Read the words on her face before she could breathe again. And she wanted him to come back, to kiss her, but she hadn't realized the tears falling from her eyes. Tears of hope, and fear and desperation, tears that she was embarrassed by. 

She still couldn't breathe thinking about what she had just done. 

But Spencer was there, and he was smart enough to speak for her. 

“Y/N? What's wrong?” He asked, he was meters away from her, allowing her the space to leave if she wanted to, the space to finally think for herself, the space so that he wouldn't do anything that she didn't want him to. 

Y/N gasped a breath in. It was strange to breathe after holding your breath for so long. It was strange to be so far apart from someone you wanted to be close to. 

“Can I sit down?” she mumbled, finally finding the words to say, finally thinking again. 

Spencer nodded, as quick as he could, going over to her to lead her to his couch, just trying to comfort her when she was obviously upset. 

He went to the kitchen, giving her a moment of space, and brought her back some water, noticing the signs of exhaustion and dehydration clearly. 

Y/N stayed silent, drinking the water, breathing in and out. She felt embarrassed for crying, ashamed for being so hesitant, nervous because she was still with Spencer and he was clearly worried about her. She was feeling so many things, and none of them seemed to be good. 

Spencer and she sat there in silence for a couple of minutes. Spencer understood needing some time, and he wasn't going to let her leave until she seemed better, but he would respect her space, try to offer any help that he could. Even if that meant just sitting and breathing with her. 

But finally, after about six minutes went by, and Y/N was breathing normally, her heart rate obviously slowed down, Spencer couldn't keep himself from asking. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

Y/N looked at him, saw his eyes, heard his voice, and she could feel her heart pick up, beat with her thoughts. She loved him. Even when she was scared, she loved him. 

And before she could think about an answer, the words came tumbling out of her mouth. 

“I’m scared,” she whispered, looking away from him. 

Spencer watched her, confused, waited for her to continue. 

The words poured out of her mouth, flowing like a river as she told Spencer about her dreams, about the fear she felt in her chest, about the nights she’d spent up all night, hoping to bring her thoughts some relief. She told him about the sleeping pills, the naps she took in her car, the nights where she only lived off of caffeine. 

Spencer empathized with her, nodding along, listening to every word that she said, giving her the space to let out everything that she’d been building up. 

He never once interrupted, never said anything that wasn't invited. 

And then finally, she admitted the truth, the words she’d kept tucked in the back of her mind for weeks, feeling her nerves overflow inside of her. 

“I’m in love with you, and that's terrifying.” She whispered, avoiding his eyes. 

But when she finally looked back up, Spencer made no visible reaction to her words, only giving her a soft smile and nodding for her to continue again. 

“So many people have left,” she whispered, tears now flowing down her face at the words. “I’m so scared to be myself around everyone because it never seems to be enough. I always seem to drive everyone away.” 

She felt worse admitting the words out loud, felt scared admitting them to Spencer, someone she was sure that could push her off the bridge at any point, the one person she had fallen too deep with. 

“There are so many things in my life that have caused so much damage, so many things that are too much for people to deal with. Even my family and friends. I always drive them away, my trust issues getting in the way of everything.” She took a deep breath in, the words giving a big impact on her chest. “I don't trust anyone, not even myself, to keep me safe. And I’m so scared of letting people in, letting them get to know me because I know that they won't like it, I know that it's going to be too much. I can't trust anyone and so I’m terrified every time anyone is too nice or smiles at me the way you smile at me.” 

She didn't look over to see Spencer frowning, looking down at his hands, clearly still listening but now surrounded by his own reaction to the words. 

“So when we started getting closer, I started having those dreams, I started imagining myself falling into that place again. And I knew that if it happened one more time, I wouldn't be able to survive. I cant survive getting hurt like that anymore.” She whispered the last part like it was a secret she wanted to keep to herself like it was something she was only able just now to admit. 

And Spencer was about to say something when she continued. 

“But…” she paused to look at him, smiling through her tears. “You’re so tempting. You’re impossible to stay away from. And every time we’re together I forget everything I’m scared of, I just live in that moment with you. And I love it.” 

Spencer smiled at her back, his face still a bit reserved, his thoughts still not perfect, but he liked the smile on her face, the way the words she was saying seemed to cheer her up all on their own. 

“I don't want to lose this feeling. The one I have with you. But I can't help thinking that I will, and that's so scary to me. It's too much.” 

All of these words were relieving, but Y/N didn't want to see Spencer's reaction. She hadn't even given him the moment to tell her if he felt the same, and it was only for a second she realized that she had put herself up with no defenses, that Spencer could crush her right there with only a few words and she couldn't do anything about it. 

She almost started to get up, to leave, to start screaming and crying like she wanted to when he spoke again. 

“Hey,” he whispered, seeing the panic on her face, moving closer to her so that he could put his hand on her knee, keep her from running away when he still had so much to say. “Being this close to you, it makes my hands sweaty, and my brain runs blank, and my heartbeat out of my chest.” he laughed, trying to bring a smile to her face. “I can't remember a time when I felt like this, so undeniably happy, except for every moment with you.” 

“Spencer…” she whispered the words coming out of his mouth feeling foreign, the beating her chest insistent. 

“I would never let you fall. You’re so many things Y/N, but you’re not a person that drives people away. You’re someone who makes them want to stay.” 

Spencer moved closer to her, bringing his hand from her knee up to her face, cupping her cheek as he had earlier, but more gentle this time, just a little bit more cautious. 

“It's okay to be scared, I don't blame you. But, I don't want to let you fall, I want to walk that bridge with you. I want to hold onto you.” He paused for a moment, smiling at her, his eyes looking at her the same way they always did. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for months, I still do actually.” He said, his fingertips brushing against her bottom lip, his eyes away from hers. 

And her heart sped up again, and this was familiar. It was all familiar. They’d done this earlier, but she’d been terrified earlier. She’d had all of these fears locked up inside her head, all of these memories trapped behind bars that she had put up. 

“I love you,” Spencer whispered, the words hitting Y/N right in her head, in her heart, in the places that she didn't think were possible to feel emotion in. She could feel everything and nothing, and it was just Spencer, and he loved her. 

He was in love with her. 

She was terrified, and nervous, and so in love, when she leaned in closer to him, not letting herself move away again. 

And her lips were on his, and for the first time, she felt the desperation spread past her body, she felt that feeling moves to Spencer, both of them stuck together, their emotions exactly the same. 

And she was right, she was so right to be terrified, but she was so close to him, and she was so happy and felt so much happier than she ever had before. 

She could almost see the bridge, she could almost see them walking across it. 

Spencer pulled away, his eyes alight with the kiss they had shared, his face full of fondness and love for her. Only for her. 

He kept his hands on her face. Kept her as close as possible. 

“You need sleep,” he whispered, looking her in the eyes as he had so many times. “Stay with me tonight. It's too late for you to go home.” 

He smiled at her. 

“Okay,” she whispered back. 

* 

Spencer gave her a toothbrush, they brushed their teeth together, trying to hide their smiles from each other. 

They failed. 

Spencer handed Y/N some sweatpants and a shirt she could wear for the night, he gave her some privacy going into his kitchen to get some water for both of them. Even alone, Y/N couldn't stop herself from smiling, she could hear Spencer's voice in her head, telling her he loved her over and over. It was an exhilarating feeling to know the truth, even more exhilarating than the feeling she’d felt before. 

When he came back, she smiled at him, allowed him to wrap an arm around her, enveloping her in a warm hug. One that was comforting, and appreciated by both of them. 

By the time they got in bed, Y/N could feel her eyes starting to close. The exhaustion suddenly hit her all at once, the day had been tiring, with working all day, then staying up to watch a movie with Spencer, then pouring her heart out for him, only for it to be far too worth it. 

And she couldn't keep the smile off her face, but she knew that her body would much appreciate a night's sleep, and she would love to wake up in Spencer's arms. 

She rested her head on his chest, listening to his breath, breathing him in just the same. 

“Y/N?” he whispered for the last time that night, rubbing her back and playing with her hair. 

She was barely awake at that point, her eyes falling down, weighing a million pounds. 

“Hmm?” she whispered back, her eyes closed as she fell into his warmth. 

“Will you go on a date with me?” he whispered, his eyes wide, awaiting her response. 

But by then, she was asleep, breathing in and out, smiling in her sleep, her cheek resting against Spencer's chest. 

Spencer chuckled, happy that she was finally peaceful, finally getting some rest. He whispered ‘I love you’ staring at her for a moment. He kissed her head, held on to her a little bit tighter. 

*

That night, she had the same dream. 

But Spencer was there this time. He was holding onto her hand, whispering ‘I love you’ in her ear. 

And when she started to walk forward, he walked with her.

* 

my masterlist here. 

[thefanbasewhore]

United As One. || Part 2.

Summary: While Din is trying to convince the reader to marry him, the elders show their distaste while the reader finds out something that can impact her decision.

Warning/Content: 18+ please, fingering, oral (male on female), light smut, body hair (bc it's normal!!!) fighting between characters and angst. Also I don't ever write smut... Please be gentle with me lol this is one of my first times.

Paring: Din Djarin/female reader

Clan Leader Din AU

Part 1. || Master Post. 

Light seeps through the gaps between thin curtains, eyelids flutter as the sun hits her skin, heat creeps up the nape of her neck, warming her forehead. The brightness makes her squeeze her eyes harshly, she uses her hands to try and face the other way but dead weight against her chest makes it impossible.

Thick brown curls rest against her chest, Din's face appreciating the warmth and comfort of her breast, his own chest pressed against her stomach with small, shallow breaths. She can't see his face, he's too low angled downward, facing the wall but it surprises her. Her eyes widen in embrassment, the sudden feeling to run her fingers through the ringlets that he's decided to show her for the first time.

Din has never removed his helmet in front of her, sometimes in the dark but this was different, his skin pressed against her chest, hair she dreamed about tickling her chin is an overwhelming feeling, to add to it the memories of his last words that Din admitted. She's conflicted, It looks more beautiful then what it felt like in the dark between her fingers but what if she wakes him and he demands an answer? Something she's unable to give at the moment.

"Marry me, I've always known you'd be my riduur since the day I met you."

Despite the nervousness fingers softly tug on the tips of hair that reached his collar, silky and well managed despite being in his helmet and the long night sleep. It's a soft sigh that falls from his lips as nails scratch his scalp, sleepily pushing his hips against her.

A breath his held as she feels the hardness against her inner thigh, swallow breaths still falling from Din's chest signaled he was still sleeping but hips unknowing to himself press harder and again wanting the friction.

Fingers stop, heart beating so fast she swears she can hear it in her ears. While they have laid next to each other many nights in the Razor Crest it was never like this. There wasn't enough room, someone would end up bumping into someone which would end up with a sleepy grunt for Din and him finding else where; leaving the bed for her.

Sex was out of the question, Grogu was the number one concern. Between finding a Jedi, keeping the Crest running before it was destroyed, and keeping up with the baby it never left the time too.

It wasn't by choice, there were many nights Din spent longing over her, greedy eyes running over any exposed skin she allowed, they showered together once after the battle against the Kypt Dragon, skin against skin but the lights cut leaving his creed intact.

Even now asleep all Din wanted to do is touch her, with the child's safety secured, and being able to come back to his clan, there was no reason not to.

He's not, heavy and throbbing against her bare thigh, Din's body weight shifting her pajama shorts up further exposing smooth skin. Finally, she takes in a deep breath, eyes shift to the child that lays feet away from them snuggling a pillow, sucking on his fingers for comfort.

"Mmmhmm." It's a soft moan, breath fanning against the swell of breast, that ever so tease him, hips indistinctly pressing further into her until he's sliding against the junction between her thigh and soaking heat. Shame makes her face red, mostly because of how much she wanted him, wants more.

Din's eyes flutter, eyelashes soothing the skin of her breast with a huff. He says for a second, evaluating the situation: his hardness throbbing, pressed between his girls creamy thighs, the worst part of it being he can feel how hot she is, see the wet spot the formed through the thin shorts, feel it.

The room was suddenly hotter, he doesn't dare move, freezes actually, would be absolutely horrified if she woke up finding him pushing against her. Lips gently lay a kiss against her chest, listening to the beats under her chest.

"Good morning cyar'ika." It's whispered against skin, not meant for her current consciousness, it's followed by a few more kisses, her eyes flutter shut at the feeling, breaths slow at a result. Din's hand press against the bed on each side of her, extending his arms to push himself fully up.

"Wait Din, I'm awake!" Her own hands come to cup her eyes as they catch a glimpse of his forehead. Din pauses, he doesn't move just keeps is face angular.

"Why... Why did you say anything?" Din's voice is caught in his own throat as she grinds her hips towards him. A small groan falling from the pressure against his hardness.

"I..." She trails off, Din looks up replacing her hand with his own, the other hand knotting the crown of her head, tangling into the hair with a slight pull that makes her whine. "I wanted to keep feeling you."

Din feels his own heart beat beginning to speed up, her fingers blindly in front pressing against the smooth skin of his throat, first cupping his chin feeling to thick hair there. Then they press against his throat, feeling the pulse thicken herself. Din might have thought it was more sexual then it was intended, truthfully honest she forgets how human he can really be.. the pulse helps remind her he's just as much as her, maybe even more.

"Din.." The whine of his name wanting and feral shoots straight to his aching cock.

Fingers soak the touch of her chin, gripping it just watch lips part with want, chest heaving that makes Din's face red. He's unexperienced, he'll be the first to admit it but it felt so, so right.

"Do you want me?" He doesn't mean to words like that, it makes him seem as if he is the prize when truthfully he's the lucky one to see her spread her legs further in response. "Can I touch you sweet girl?"

"Please, Please." She chants as he moves closer so he's on his knees in-between her legs. There's a few minutes of silence, he uses them commit this memory of her to his brain forever.

"Din." She's impatient as she calls for him, hand following it's own trail to the hem of her short but Din swats it away, tisking under his breath. "You look..." He gulps, "beautiful, so good for me."

Din's lips move agonizingly slow, pressing a piece of love across her neck, hands cupping both of her breast through her shirt feeling nipples react instantly, hard through the thin material of the shirt. "Keep your eyes closed."

"I-I.." Tears of frustration wet eyes, she want to cry, beg for him to touch her but he's to busy enjoying the feel of her, parts he's never been able to explore before. "The kid."

Suddenly Din feels like an idiot, eyes shifting across the bed, thankfully the kid is still sleeping unbothered. "I'll be right back, keep your eyes closed."

Once the child is safely tucked away, comfortable as Din made sure to cover him with blankets in the other room. Nothing could prepare Din for the sight in front of him, smooth bare legs, breast naked on display with soft nipples, his hand slips further down his abdomen to grasp his own arousal, hard and aching. A small moan makes her head raise but eyes stay closed. "Din?"

"I'm here pretty girl." Din finds himself between her legs again, hands stroke the sensative skin of her inner thighs, she managed to take her shorts off the only thing keeping Din from seeing her naked is the cotton underwear. Din cant help but stare, the light colored fabric left little to the imagination, dark hairs shape against it, the wet patching showing just how badly she wants him.

With her eyes closed, it's practically sensory overload. Her skin can feel his touch so much more, the warmness of him, not to mention his smells, musty and warm, it reminds her of old leather. Ears twitch at how horse his voice is, breath against her skin as lips touch her neck. "Do you, I mean, Do you want me to -"

Din's feels his own skin heat at the words, he didn't have much experience besides when he want younger and one of the clan members went down on him but it didn't feel like this. Nothing can make him feel the way the cry that falls from her lips do. "Please, please touch me Din."

Din mades sure to take his time, spreading the wetness around the bare mound with his thumb, his mouth parting with want. If this was the last thing he’s ever seen, he’d die happy watching her skin flush pink, chest heaving with deep breaths, grinding her desperate, needy hips against own hand.

He loves to watch, watching her mouth open to beg for more but he's greedy, he wants hear more. Hear that he is the reason for her wetness. Fingers pinch the most sensative part of her, eyes open in surprise but Din's too fast, covering them with a hiss. "Eyes closed."

She obeys almost instantly at the rough grunt, eyelashes fluttering against his palm. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to."

"Mhmm." He agrees inside his chest, his hand leaves her completely with a protest but it's soon gone and she's flipped onto her stomach, face pressed against the mattress as fingers dig into her hips, dragging them into the air. He found himself so wrapped up in her he didn't care if she saw his face, all that was on his mind was her pleasure, with her eyes against the wall there was no reason to worry.

His length straining against the back of her thigh, heavy. Pressing kisses against shoulder blades and his hand finds its self between them, lowering her down against the mattress with a hand. His other thumb spreading across her clit, whining with the contact. His finger’s hook inside with no warning, filling her completely.

They're large, there's only two of them as they scissor against her walls, coated with her arousal that helps them trust into her again.

When his fingers find that spot that makes her cry, whine his name he can't help but moan, "Stars, Din."

She squeezes around him, hips naturally fighting his own trust of his fingers. "So, so beautiful."

He groans at the tightness, it sends shivers down his skin. Finger’s never lead up, filling and entering as soon as they left, over and over again until she feels the bundle of heat in her stomach, bubbling for a release. 

Din notices as he quickens the pace, chest against her back as he leans to press kisses against her neck, shirt discarded moments ago but neither could remember, lips sucking softly on the skin, huffing in frustration at his own arousal pressing against the back of her thigh for relief.

"Din.." it's a warning that make him suck harder, fingers so good it makes her mewl.

"Cum pretty girl, give it to me."

That's all it takes, from his fingers milking her through, the pretty girls that make her heart leap, his bare chest against her back, something snaps, squeezing against his fingers as a cry falls from them.

Her chest falls and raises quickly against the mattress, Din's fingers don't leave her heat but his head leans against her shoulders with a huff. Blind fingers reach behind her, squeezing his hardness so softly, it's an experimental touch that makes him groan but he pushes her hand away.

"Don't worry about me, I want you to cum again." She wants to protest, wants to say she can't but Din doesn't give her the chance to even catch her breath before fingers are leaving her, the dirty sound of his lips sucking on them making her gasp.

He uses this time to look at her, soaking begging for more under her breath. "Sweet, so sweet."

She couldn't tell if he was talking about her or her the cum on his fingers but eyes didn't miss a beat as legs lazily spread wider for him.

Hands spread across the back of bare thighs, trailing to squeeze a large handful of her cheek. "I always knew you would beautiful like this.. dreamed of it baby."

His arms flexing and expanding against thighs again as fingers curl into the softness of them, anchoring himself as lips closing down around her clit, suckling softly. 

“Din!” it's a whine of surprise as his tongue flickers against the sensative bundle, taking his good time with. His fingers finding her heat once again, sinking into the gaping hole, his finger’s moving faster, pace increasing with every squeal, scream or sound that was made.

His tongue doesn't let up from her clit as his fingers pushed deeper inside, purposely messaging the spot found in the deepest of her pussy, his cock throbbing at the thought of feeling it.

Hips lifting off the bed trying to escape his brutal lips, but he doesn't allow it as his free hand fell to hips, roughly pushing her back down against it the pillows. "Stay." The vibrations make her cry, beg for more.

Finger’s curling in her, collecting any juice they possibly could spreading against her as much as he could as hips jolt once again, a soft mumble against her making her moan.

The familiar feeling of heat building up and bubbling in her lower abdomen spreading warmth through out her whole body as he continued to finger fuck her as fast he could.  The heavenly sound of wetness dripping to his hand, covering his face and into the bed. "Give it to me, please, please sweet girl."

“I'm -." His name is like a prayer on her lips, his only reply is slamming his finger back into as hard as he could, lips puckering against her clit one more time. Eyes rolling back into her head, as her body let's go, Din sucks up anything he could manage. Her body slumps instantly but Din's finger grabbing her hips saves her from falling harshly against the bed. Loving lips press to her shoulder, laying his cheek against the warmth, slowly lowering her to the bed.

She wants to speak, but can't. Her head is still so high up in the clouds, mind so full with the thought of Din, Din, Din.

"Cyar'ika." The soft words make her heart jump, "Think about it.. I know it's not what you expected but I don't expect an answer right away."

Soft fingers trace her hairline as if they would never feel it again. His other arm wraps around her waist, pulling her back against his chest. Very prominent hardness against her back, but he ignores it. Eyelids flutter close, exhaustion taking over even when his lips meet her neck where he barries his head.

The sun once again is brutal, groaning as she blinks the tiredness away. Reaching behind her to feel for the loss of heavy weight but just to realize no one is there. Jumping up, looking for any sign of the green little monster as well but there is none. She moves to quickly, soreness from her legs reminds her of earlier, cheeks red with heat. It's been no long since anyone has touched her, she would feel it for days.

With shaky legs she stands, dressing rather quickly as she leaves the hut to search for them. The day is like any other, faces that aren't covered with helms show their distaste, while she can't see the other's faces she knows theirs match their conrads.

The temple is rather large, tikis of fire trail to the entrance and for some reason she finds herself drawn to it. The long pull over is stretched across her chest as she wraps it closer to herself as she moves towards the deep rasp she knows as Din.

Symbols and drawings are itched against the walls, the low light of the torches wouldn't let her decipher them, she wouldn't be able to anyways they are written in a language she does not understand. The doorway opens to a large room, space large enough to fit hundreds, tables and chairs fill the majority of it. There's a large throne in the center against the wall, followed by smaller ones that sit directly behind.

Throat dries as eyes run over the familiar plates of beskar covered thighs, up to the small green child who plays with a small stuffed toy on the mandalorian's lap. Basker doesn't notice the new eyes in the room, too busy snarling at the wrinkled men and woman in front of him. They all look identical, long cloaks that cover their baldness, charcoal symbols in a perfect line down their faces.

"No." The words fall from the woman who threatened her lips days ago, Din doesn't like the words as he lets out a huff.

"There is nothing against it, it's allowed." He argues, the elders around him show their distaste with a hiss.

"She is not mandalorian, she will bring shame on this clan. You will shame us Din Djarin." Once again she feels unwanted tears of embarrassment sting eyes, she wish they would just go away, that it didn't bother her.

She wants to curl up and disappear when she meets the gaze of sharp basker, the elders follow suit. "What are you doing here?" It's soft, low.

He doesn't like the look she sports, face twisted in anger, in sadness. She tries to hide the tears, faking a smile as she looks up at him. "I was worried... Grogu wasn't there.. you weren't there."

"I'll be done in a second, wait outside for me cyar'ika."

One of the elders hiss, "Do not speak our language to her, she does not deserve it!"

It happens before anyone can react, Din holds the baby close against his chest, the other hand drips the elder's cloak around the neck line, threatening him with rough gasp. "Don't you disrespect her. You may keep order of the clan but I am Mand'lor. I meant it when I said you have to go through me."

Din's eyes flicker to her, she gulps nervously at the display of power. It fit him so... Well. "Outside, take the child I will be out."

The sound of his voice, the authority in his voice has her feet moving before her brain can even process the words. Grogu reaches out for his mother with a giggle as he's notices her, before Din can turn his head in her direction she's gone.

It's not long after that Din is walking from the temple. Even though his emotions are often masked by his helm, anger just radiates from him. Hot, deep inside his veins. If shows with his slow steps roughly dug into the ground beneath him, shoulders high, alert, his trembling fingers at his side.

"Are.." she pauses, eyes meeting his visor as he's only inches away, towering over her. "Are you okay bear?"

The nickname makes him pause, a rare smile lifts his cheeks pressing his forehead against her own. "I'm fine, everything is going to be alright."

His heart pounds in his ears, heart warm with admiration? Love? Honestly, he couldn't quite place his feelings when it came to her but the nickname made him feel warm, happy at the affection. The nickname was a jab at his parenting, papa bear she called him, ever since then it stuck.

Grogu small hands wrap around her neck, breaking them apart in jealousy as his face finds warmth against her neck. Din rolls his eyes with a chuckle, hand slipping into her free one. The act makes her pause, looking for eyes to see but Din tugs her toward, not caring who sees.

The walk back is slow, cool while they enjoy the spoils the planet offers. A few stares but Din keeps her distracted, "There's a celebration tonight. I want you there."

"No." She admits too quickly for his liking, he sighs stopping movement all together. She feels guilty, redness blooming cheeks. "No one wants me there, I'll just spoil their fun."

"I want you there." He admits, fingers find silky strands of hair, playing with the tips with gentleness. "It's my coronation, it's the celebration of me.. there's no one else more deserving to be there."

Din can't help but notice the awkward shift from hip to hip, trying to shift weight to make standing just a little bit easier. "What is it?"

Cheeks are even hotter as she looks down at her feet. Worried hands tip her chin to meet her own reflection in his helmet. "Tell me."

"I'm just sore is all." It's Din's turn to blush, hear claims his cheeks, runs up the nape of his neck.

"Let's go back, get ready. The child needs a bath anyways." The way the petal like ears raise at the mention of a path with a lifting lip makes them both laugh under their breath.

There's laughter in the distance, the smell of fire, roasting meat, chatting among peers when she arrives. She tucks the child closer as she manages to walk past without being detected, her only concern being to find Din.

Tents scatter across the green ground, the largest which she guessed with hold him. Two mandalorians stand out front, as if they are looking for any kind of danger to pass through. The one's helm shift towards her face, looking her up and down before gesturing her entry into the tent.

Din is seated, a blonde woman's fingers pressing white lines along with symbols that have no meaning to her against his basker on his thighs. His head tilts up towards his girl, a small smile forming underneath the mask. Beads lay in layers on his chest, peaks of flowers tangled between them, he's almost covered from head to toe in white clay.

His eyes never leave hers, despite how nervously she stares at the woman who sat between his legs.

"Hi pretty girl." The words pinch her cheeks red as his fingers mention her closer, the woman kneeling in front him remains quiet. Din can sense her irritation so doesn't dare recognize the fact another woman is between his legs. He presses his hand against his lovers back pushing her close to press their foreheads together.

"Hi bear." The nickname makes him smile again, a simple word that makes him feel loved. Leather gloves stroke the petal shaped ears on the child with a soft coo, "Hey buddy, how was the bath?"

The displeasure isn't hidden on Grogu's face but he still climbs over the chair to his father's lap. The blonde woman looks up from her handiwork with a smile as the curious child peers at her. "Hi little guy."

"I'm done here Mand'lor." Din gives a pleased nod, dismissing her silently. The girl gets to her own knees, angling herself to stand between his legs. There's something about her flirty grin, eyes that meet her own with a looking that just screams, 'I know something you don't.'

Even though it makes her narrow her eyes, it really doesn't matter expect when she bares her neck to them. Wrapped around with a thin piece of string is the mud horn signet that exactly resembles Din's.

She tries not to think the worst, but it seems like a claim of some sort. Like she is his. While she silently moves to exit the tent, a long strand of beads run across the whole length of her hair, dark brown in color.

Din's hands try to move her to his lap but the look of confusion etched across her face makes him pause.

"She wears your signet?" Din is caught off guard, bitting his bottom lip under the helm. While it made complete sense to him, how do you explain it to someone how doesn't understand this way of life.

"Yes." He answers truthfully, "I made it for her."

The words make her take a step back, Din's fingers don't allow her as they fight to move her between the V of his legs. He's successful, stronger.

"I will make you one when you're my riduur."

"but why does she have one?" The hurt can't go unnoticed, pale in color, anxiety making her heart thump faster.

"It's not important."

"It is to me. Why does she have one?" Din doesn't want to talk about it, he wants to enjoy the night, enjoy it with his clan, his son and her.

"She is my breeder." While she doesn't know what it means, it doesn't take a genius to figure it out. She's silent, chewing on the fat of her lip. "Sweetheart?" Din looks up, uneasy with the silence.

"Breeder? You mean as in -."

"Have my children." The fear is answered, "It's tradition, the clan needs an heir. If a riduur cannot produce a child, the breeder will be used. It's nothing to worry about."

"Nothing to worry about? If I marry you and can't have children you will just have them with her?"

He doesn't like it, the way her voice fills with hurt. "Yes but it won't happen, it's just in case."

She's trying to distance herself, Din let's go, he doesn't like the way she struggles from his grasp. "If it does happen what I'm supposed to sit back and watch you two raise a child together?"

"It won't happ -."

"Who picks her?" It's a jab toward him, makes him regret his choice that he made years ago, before he knew her.

"I do but it -." He wants to say it was before her, before he feel in love but watching tears fill her eyes makes him pause, if he had one weakness in this world it would be watching her cry, something he's seen too much over the past week.

"Don't cry." He stands tall placing the child on the chair, with every step towards her she moves further away. Her chest is heavy, heart breaking as tears that slip past eyelids.

"I was never your first choice." Din can see it, the way her eyes show the fear of loving him. Hand pressing against her own chest as if it physically hurts.

"You are, you're my only choice." His words try to reason, hands try to comfort but she presses a hand against his chest to stop him. The wall of the tent is against her back, Din boxes her in.

"It's tradition, I don't want her. I want you."

She shakes her head, tears burn her cheeks. "Your traditions are ugly, I hate it here."

The words make his face drop, heart stuttering in his chest, it hurts. Her defiance, the way she admits those words about his home. He wants it to be her own.

"I can't change them. I can't help them." Her eyes flicker to the beads against his chest, reaching out to feel the hardness of them.

"What were the beads in her hair?"

Din doesn't want to say it but none the less cannot lie. "I don't want to lie to you." It was too much already, it would only bring her more pain.

"Then tell me the truth Din."

"She wears the color of my eyes in her hair."

.."What?"

The amount of time it took Din to even admit the color of his eyes to her was months.. she just walks around parading them and he allows her, he did pick her after all.

"Y-Your eyes?" The words choke up in her throat, bottom lip trembling. "I never got to see your eyes, you said they were brown. The first time I see the color is on another woman. Do the whole clan a favor, take me home and marry her."

"No, No. Stop." His hands grasp her wrist, pulling her close to his chest, the dried clay scratched her cheeks, beads press against her temple. "It was long ago, before I met you. You are my choice."

Tears smear, melting the clay with a cry. She pulls away, "You might want to have her come in and fix that."

Din Djarin is left speechless as he watches her walk away, his own heart breaking inside his chest. Not even a full week home and it's already managed to distance them. Now her own broken heart matching his.

[thrndlngs]

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷     this is how you fall in love, e. kirishima.

    v part one.      ❝     VODKA SPRITES.

previously on, TISHYFIL.                    next on, TISHYFL.

author’s note: this was such a long chapter, hopefully you guys don’t mind this. this is the chapter that makes ur friendship with kiri u know spice up a little. this takes place in the club, so there’s drinking, suggestive comments + etc. 

     “YOU LOOK NICE,” TODOROKI COMPLIMENTED you as he held the car door open for you, gesturing for you to enter before entering his side. you aren’t sure how the ‘beach day/movie night’ had shifted into a literal club night but - you wouldn’t miss the chance for one last ‘hurrah’ with your high school friends. besides, todoroki did manage to get the VIP section at the infamous downtown club - so did you really have any room to complain? 

   “who do you think is going to have get helped out of the club tonight?” you asked, turning your attention to your friend as he cants his head in thought. 

   “it depends, i have my money on sero and tetsu,” 

   “really? you don’t think kaminari? like, at all?” 

  “not this time, he’ll be to busy dancing with jirou that he won’t even remember there’s alcohol.”

  “huh, i didn’t even think of that. now that the cat’s out of the bag he’s a little bit more..” you trail off, looking for the right words as todoroki finds himself chuckling. 

  “openly affectionate?”

  “yeah. i’m happy for them though. i think they balance each other out,” you added, turning to admire the view of the city, even sticking your hand out to let the wind go through your fingers. 

  “have you found someone tobalance out with yet?”

  “not yet. i mean, i like someone, yes but.. i don’t want to like, ruin our friendship in the process y’know?”

  “so you’re going to suffer in silence for all eternity?” todoroki asked and you almost think he’s joking but, his facial expression said otherwise. 

  “i mean - not for eternity but, for a while yes. i just, like, are my feelings really worth ruining that friendship?” 

  “you don’t know if it’ll ruin the friendship though.”

 “yes i do.”

   “no, you really don’t,” he begins, pulling the car into the valet lane as he turns to you with an unreadable expression. “look, if you’ve never listened to anything i’ve ever told you, you need to listen to me now. got it?” 

   it’s not like he’s really giving you a choice here, so, you simply nod and try your best to muster the best ‘you got it’ smile you possibly could. both tenya and shoto were your best friends and you loved them both but tenya had shoto beat in the advice department by a long shot.

   “you’re not a clairvoyant and you’re definitely not a fifteen year old who can’t deal with the fact that her crush doesn’t like her back. so this is what you’re going to do alright? you’re going to go up to him, tell him how you feel and deal with whatever happens after. or you can suffer for the rest of eternity dealing with the immense amount of guilt of not telling your high school crush that you didn’t like him. your choice.”

   and with that, he exits the car and hands valet the keys to his sports car and makes his way around it to help you out. 

     TODOROKI’S ADVICE HAD BEEN STUCK on loop for majority of the night. you had your fair share of alcoholic beverages but, you weren’t as bad as some of your friends (you handed your twenty to todoroki two hours ago with a frown as you saw both tetsu and sero swinging their shirts in the air). you hadn’t spoken to kirishima yet (he’s to busy hyping up his very plastered friends) but you did manage to take a few shots with bakugou and mina. so that left you with, deku, uraraka, shinsou, iida and tsu - the six of you basking in one another’s company.

   “i really wanna dance,” you whined, pouting as you eyed the dance floor. 

   “then go! that’s where everyone else is at anyways.” tsu informs you, following your line as sight as uraraka’s jumping out of her seat. 

   “do you really want to dance or do you just want to get kirishima’s attention?” shinshou asked, taking a sip of his drink as you rolled your eyes.

   “let’s go then [your name], i’ll go with you. come on!”

   “see! that’s the spirit!” you squealed, joining your hands with the brunette as the two of you made your way to the dance floor. you were grateful for your bubbly friend, whatever you wanted to do, she was right there behind you - making sure you had a partner in crime alongside you. so there thetwo of you were, hands interlocked and dancing your lives away in the dimly lit nightclub, drinks in the air. 

  “i hope you don’t mind me stealing [your nickname] for a dance, do you?” the familiar voice asks and you start choking on the drink, hand flying up to cover your lips. you already knew what uraraka’s answer would be, you could practically feel the excitement radiating off of her. 

  “oh! go ahead! their all yours! bye!” you’re cursing her out, mentally of course. you almost contemplate whether or not to ‘go to the bathroom’ and hide in there forever. not because you aren’t capable of handling your tiny crush on the redhead but because you didn’t need any of your drunk friends seeing the two of you and possibly spilling the beans -

   “maybe you are a space cadet.” kirishima teases, eyes roaming your outfit choice.

   “rude, eyes up here kiri.”

   “i was...” he trails off, cheeks reddening as he scratches the back of his neck nervously. he’s been caught, he knows this but he refuses to admit it. “admiring your exquisite fashion choices.” 

   “yeah, okay. how are you enjoying the night mister hype man? sero and tetsu don’t need you egging their antics on anymore?”

   “ha. it’s going great and you know, i would like to inform you that i’m the best hype man.”

   “oh yeah? and how do i, submit an inquiry on how much it’ll cost me to hire said ‘best hype man’?”

   “well, for you, it’s free. won’t cost you anything.” 

   “interesting,” you say through parted lips, canting your head to the side as kirishima mimics you, his own arms around your waist now. “are you sure there isn’t anything i can do to pay you for these services?”

  “nope, nothing, nada, zip. for free because you’re—”

  “your favorite person in this entire world? yeah i know. now dance with me.” and just like that, your back is against his chest and your swaying to the beat of the new song, in your own little world again as kirishima scrambles to keep up. he can’t - not at first at least (it takes him a few seconds to remember that this is his high school crush dancing with him) and it isn’t until you move his hands to your hips that he realizes the situation the two of you are in.

   “if i had known you danced this good i would’ve hyped you up first.” his lips barely brush your ear and your breath hitches in your throat for a moment, this was really happening, wasn’t it? part of you is glad that you guys had a raincheck on the movie night. 

  “i was busy doing other things.” if ‘other things’ is code for: getting drunk so you didn’t have to remember if you embarrassed yourself than yes, you were doing other things.

  “like,” he pauses, debating on whether or not he has it in him to ruin the moment the two you of you are having - if he doesn’t. 

  “like what?”

   “your boyfriend.”

   “my— my boyfriend?!” you shouted over the music, turning to face him as he turns his gaze, lips pursed.

  “you know, iida.”

  in hindsight, you aren’t really sure what made the situation funny enough to double over in laughter. it could’ve been the alcohol or just the fact that you were in disbelief that he thought you were dating your best friend - kirishima on the other hand, doesn’t think it’s funny. 

  “you think i’m dating iida? oh my god — his brother was my babysitter. he’s my best friend, i couldn’t — god, ew i think i threw up in my mouth a little.” 

  “oh.”

  “i shared a bed with you! if i was dating iida or anyone else i wouldn’t - kirishima, do you really think i’m that kind of person? i’m offended!” you’re not but you might as well milk the situation for shits and giggles, right?

   “no! i don’t think you’re that kind of person but i just thought,”

   “you thought some very unmanly thoughts.” you teased.

   “i know i just—yeah i don’t know what i was thinking.” he’s laughing along with you as you roll your eyes, taking your hand in his. hopefully, he doesn’t realize how sweaty your hands are -

   “can we continue dancing now kiri?”

     FOUR MORE HOURS PASS AND you’ve lost count on how many vodka sprites you and had drank, the two of you are sitting on the very comfortable couch while majority of your friends were making a very poor attempt on figuring out who was going home with who. kirishima, has an arm on the back of a couch while you are fidgeting with the rings on your finger trying to stay grounded.

   “what’s on your mind?” kirishima asked, leaning over as you take in a breath, trying to muster your best ‘not suspicious’ smile you could possibly muster.

   “nothing, literally nothing. lights are out and they’ve been out for,” cue you checking your imaginary watch for added dramatic effect, “two hours now.” 

  “how much have you drank?”

  “enough to know that todoroki gives the worst advice.”

  “huh, you know, i feel the same way about bakugou.” 

  “fuck them — we don’t, we don’t need their advice,” you inform the redhead, pointed finger in his direction as he nods furiously in agreement.

  “agreed. who needs best friends and their shitty advice anyways?”

   “yeah, i mean, who cares if i suffer for eternity you know, as long as i have,” you take in a breath, pointed finger now poking at kirishima’s unbuttoned chest. “—long as i have you. i don’t care if i have to suffer for eternity.” 

  “why would you have to suffer for eternity?”

  “because kiri, if i don’t — if i don’t like you know, tell you, then i’ll have this ‘immense’ guilt for eternity but it doesn’t matter you know? because i can be damned for eternity for all i give a shit. long as i have you kiri  —”

   to say he’s concerned is an understatement. his hands are placed on your shoulders as he tries to understand the rant you’re going on. “i don’t get it. what is it?”

  “ugh, doesn’t matter! doesn’t matter.” 

   “it does.” 

   “it doesn’t! i can’t — i can’t jeopardize this on some fantasy i had when i was a teenager!”

   “[your name!] what are you talking about!?”

   “—if i tell you, you have to promise nothing will change.” 

   the sudden change in your expression meant that whatever you needed to tell him was something serious so he agrees immediately. “i’m a manly man. i don’t break my promises.”

  but you don’t tell him. not at first at least, the sudden realization of the situation you’re in starts bubbling in your chest and it honestly feels like you might throw up (or maybe it’s the alcohol getting to you). so you take in a breath, trying to ignore the fact that kirishima’s thumbs are tracing over your sweaty knuckles - or the fact that he’s leaning in and asking if you’re okay.

  “talk to me,” he’s worried - it’s written all over his face and it’s either now or never. 

   “i think — i think,”

   “you think?” 

   “i really want to tell you but, i don’t want to — i can’t lose you because of my own selfish reasons.”

   “hey, hey, you’re not going to lose me okay?” kirishima reassured you, hands now at the sides of your face.

   “i like you. i’ve liked you since our firstyear of UA kiri,” your voice is above a whisper now and you’re almost certain that it’s just the two of you in the club - 

   you can feel his warm breath against your lips, the two of you to busy trying to process what you had just said to recognize how close the two of you were.

   kirishima panics, saying the first thing that comes to mind, “your breath smells like vodka sprites.”

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ ⋆☾

TAG LIST,  

@asahisimpnation​ ♡ @the-fandoms-georgie ♡ @willowtree42095  ♡ @speedmetalqueen​  ♡ @tryingmyves

[lesbianklance]

klance first date: waterfall edition

after a lot of dancing around their feelings keith and lance finally decided to go on a date

they didn't really know where to go until allura mentioned these beautiful waterfalls in the forest just outside of town

lance of course was very excited because come on, water

lance picked up keith from his apartment with shiro

he definately didn't take forever to get ready with the help of hunk raquel and veronica no sir nuh uh

the car ride to the forest was around 40 minutes since it's out of town

lance, the cheesy bitch he is created a playlist for it with songs that remind him of keith

keith didn't really realise, he just thought lance played whatever songs he liked

until colors by halsey came on

k: lance what the fuck?

l: what? i like the song

k: no you don't you've complained about how it's halsey's worst song yet several times (lance is a halsey stan change my mind)

l:... it reminds me of you okay, red and blue, that's our thing

keith internally: he's so fucking stupid i hate him how dare he make me fall for him even more what the fuck WHAT THE FUCK

they play dumb games on the way, flirt some, compete over stupid shit like who will win on i spy or whatever

finally they arrive

keith decides he's gonna do something cheesy now because he cant have lance one upping him and he opens the door for him

lance tries not to show how much that flustered him

lance in turn grabs keith's hand

they're now both blushing a lot and it is not because of the heat while walking through the forest

they talk about anything and everything, from their days, to their favorite movies and tv shows, to their friends

eventually they find the first waterfall and stare in awe

it's majestic

lance keeps sneakily taking pictures of keith,,,, for scientific purposes of course

eventually he even asks a stranger to take a picture of them both

he tries to get keith to get in the water with him but fails

keith finds a cave underneath the waterfall, grabs lance's hand and drags him there

it's even more beautiful, the walls are illuminated by the clear water and they both stare at each other in awe

they both really want to kiss each other but are too awkward to do so

eventually they end up taking some selfies instead

they finally arrive at the last waterfall

keith asks lance if he had fun and lance just stares in his eyes and tells him that it was the best date he's ever been in

in reality it's the first date he's ever been in but he knows, nothing will ever top this feeling

lance eventually thinks fuck it, he's been a coward for too long

he keeps waiting for everyone to clear out and leave them alone because he's shy and they're both guys, he doesn't want stupid homophobes interrupting them

finally they're all alone and he's still a bundle of nerves, but he can't let that stop him

he just turns to keith and puts his hand on his cheek and stares into his eyes

"is this okay?"

neither of them had kissed anyone before

keith blushes and nervously nods

lance just presses a soft kiss to his lips

they just stare at each other, it was just a peck but they can't control the butterflies in their stomachs

keith presses another peck to lance's lips and they once again just gaze to each other's eyes

they're feeling very awkward, neither knows how to do this

then lance kisses keith a third time when they finally part their lips and actually kiss

right under the waterfall

it's beautiful, neither will ever forget that moment

they linger in each other's arms a little more until they finally decide it's time to go home

lance drives keith back home and before he gets out of the car pecks him on the cheek and tells him he had a great time

they blush and look at each other while holding hands

and then they part ways

to this day, even years of dating, that first date will forever be their favorite in their hearts

[calehenituseappreciation]

i hc wilbur made tommy president because he planned to go and press the button while tommy spoke and kill him along with himself

wilbur wanted end all his unfinished symphonies and as the person who raised tommy- he raised him like he raised l'manberg. he doesnt care for fundy- not since he denounced him- so he wanted to end him :)

i need a fic where tommy is the one who goes to stop wilbur and wilbur fucking stabs him before pressing the button saying "it was never meant to be" tommy loses both first and last lives to that phrase

tommys last words are it was always meant to be fucking wilbur survives the explosion and has no one to kill him and now he has to live with the consqunces tommy becomes toast- short for ghost tommy i refuse to write so many letters each time- and immeditly looks for his older brothers and he finds wilbur first :) wilbur is exiled for his crimes and also out of fear- they tried to rehabilate him! they really did but then he freaked out over seeing toast... in a bad way.... and he and toast burned georges house on toast suggest (maybe we should burn something! that always helps me calm down!) this is after wilbur is trusted enough to be not... in a prison... after phil convinced them he needs help and toast tries his best ok- (WHO LEFT WILBUR WITH TOAST!) (I THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME! I WAS ONLY LEAVING FOR FIVE MINUTES! AND RANBOO WAS THERE TOO!) and toast tries to go with but everyone is like "yeah no" and toast is like "whhhhyyy i just wanna stay with wilby!" and everytime anyone tries to tell tommy about the wrongs that have happened to him he screams and clutches his head in pain and everytime he comes back he doesnt remember the convo toast,,, is the most BABY toast calls everyone cutesy nicknames unironcially he calls eret rere toast, chriping happily: TECHIE!!!! tubbo: TOMMY STAY AWAY FROM HIM! toast, in a very lost and confused voice: why? techno, freaking out: tommy? toast: hi!!!!!!! im toast!!!!!! :D techno: lowkey ab to cry toast: NOOOOOOOO DUN CRI! toast: there there techie... i know what will help! tubbo, sighing: arson? toast: ARSON! phil comes just in time to find tommys dead body and l'manberg gone hes not around for the withers neither hes there just to see the crater and wilbur in chains with blood on his hands trying to off himself phil will forever blame himself for not making it in time :> dream: taking wilbur away in boat toast, floating behind the boat: o^o dream do you have any games on your phone .///^///. looks at exileinnit hmmm spins roulette wheel who should i hurt... i picked d all of the above they dont let toast go with him but because he is baby and you can't tell him what to do tubbo: sighs finally now that the exiles done toast can you- tubbo: looks up tubbo: GOADDAMN IT

toast is promptly kidnapped back to l'manberg the next day toast keeps going back tho and no one understands why- he literally killed him! why does he keep wanting to go back! (toasts unfinished buisness keeping him tied was helping wilbur and l'manberg- he loved wilbur even at his worst)

toast vibes around everyone but he stays with wilbur- where ever wilbur goes is where he builds his home

its shitty but its an 'ome Toast, teary eyed: Dad? Why does everyone hate Wilby? Why can't I be with him... Phil, with no idea what to do: niki bakes cakes with niki whenever hes in l'manberg he keeps accidently setting her bakery on fire but hes sMOL AND GIGGLES A LOT AND HE HAS FLOUR ON HE GODDAMN SELF toast is a part of mexican l'manberg i dont make the rules mexican dream: AYYYYYYYYY HOMIE toast, giggling: 'OMIE!!!!!

Toast is wholesome while everyone is literally willing to murder Wilbur while also trying to stop him from khs toast is just a very happy lovely child and cries whenever anyone is mean to 'his big brother wilby!' and so they all constantly glare daggers over toasts shoulder wherenever he cant see em meanwhile Phil is just dying inside because Tommy is a ghost by Wilbur's hands and Wilbur keeps trying to commit suicide and oh god what is he supposed to do- he simply avoids this struggle by avoiding them toast, waddling up to philza: papa do you have any games on your phone? all im saying is that tommy called phil papa before changing to dad or fathercraft phil,in the tired parent voice: tommy please sit down- just for five minutes- at least for 5 minutes toast: sits down and then proceeds to struggle to continue to sit but he must because dad told him to toast is just ADHD incarnate wilbur, trying to end himself: im gonna escape my consequences toast: HI!!!!! :D wilbur: FUCK ITS MY CONSEQUENCES toast,,,, is so baby Wilbur is just not allowed to have anything remotely sharp i like how theres so much angst and im just hyper focusing on ba yby dream uses toast the same way he uses ghostbur! :D toast doesnt realize of course even after wilbur tells him dream is bad but he keeps forgetting!!! Everyone: da baby Dream: how can I profit from this oh dream is manipulating wilbur btw wilbur: suffering toast: i made you a card toast trusts eret wholeheartedly and this hurts eret because she knows if toast remembered he probably wouldnt- they wanted redemption but not like this- not because of death Toast: you look cool Toast: you are friend now Eret: sobs I don't deserve this Toast: what did I do wrong Toast: how can I help friend!!!!! Eret: sobbing more toast looks at everyone says "ah! friend shaped!" if ur wondering wheres the angst toast is the angst- toast is just tommy without any bad memories and hes so different they thought he was happy before they thought he was fine tommy was hurt too but since he internalized it no one cared toast sees wilbur being sad and goes! i know what will help! n-not arson tho people dont like arson when you do it.... BUT ITS OKAY! I BROUGHT A FRIEND! shows friend, the sheep and wilbur just fucking sobs Toast is wholesome chaotic in a perfect mix- toast is tommy but without the 'asshole on purpose as a self defense mechanism" someone mentioned something about Tommy masking insecurities once Toast doesn't remember. and he's fine with that he doesn't have any insecurities toast hurts because in retrospect toast, meeting bad: WOAAAAAAH! YOU LOOK SO FUCKING COOL! bad: LANGUAGE! toast, cringing back, looking at the ground: ..sorry :( bad: ...you can swear toast: :D bad: once toast hasnt sworn since "hes saving it for special occasions" sometimes he accidently swears and immedtly gasps and looks at bad and bad just sighs and is like "its okay it was an accident" bad never would have thought itd take letting tommy swear for him to stop huh... its almost like... hes a child.... and the negetive reienforcement.... was doing more harm then good.... toast: exists in an amount of happiness no one has ever seen him in before everyone: pain how much pain was tommy in before? they thought tommy was happy- was... was he not happy? he's so unabashedly joyful and energetic looking back they can see how forced every laugh felt, every smile- He's not afraid to just talk to people, make new friends he became so much more cautious after Eret, had it really effected him that badly? He's open. He never lies about how he's feeling, never brushes anything away how much was Tommy hiding, how much pain, how much fear- It's chilling. bone chilling. There's no way to fix what's been lost. No way to apologize to who Tommy used to be, to try and make it better. None of them every bothered to see him as anything more than a nuisance, an annoying child or cannon fodder and they'll regret it for the rest of their lives everyone: having a mental crisis toast: GUYYYYSS!! I MADE ANOTHER FRIEND!!!

"Wilby?" Wilbur heard Tommys voice say in an innocent tone.

Was he hearing things? Tommy's dead. He killed him himself.

"Wilby why are you in prison?" The image of his little brother asked, "Did you commit arson without me?" it asked in a pout.

"TOMMY!" Tubbo yelled running into the cell where Wilbur was kept, going through the bars with ease, "Tommy get away from him!"

"But 'ubbo!!!! Wilby is 'ere!!!!" Tommy (?) said with a smile Wilbur hadn't seen since Tommy was a child.

"Tommy, I understand you don't remember anything right now but you need to come back over here!" Tubbo demanded and Tommy flinched

Wilbur was struck with the sudden realization that this isn't just his mind- no no it can't be- but Tubbo acknowledged him he has to- Wilbur reached his locked hands towards Tommy only for him to pass through him. What? No no it was just his imagination that makes sense.

"Oh sorry Wil! I'm kinda dead! I don't remember how i died... but i think im a ghostie!" Tommy said plainly, floating off the floor. Wilbur looked at him in confusion. Whats happening?

the first time toast sees the crater toast srceams in intense amount of pain- its so loud you can hear it all over the smp- and just dissapears for a few days before reappearing with no memories of what happened toast saying things tommy thought but never said- he calls eret "big brother" and eret fucking d i e s toast cals all the l'manbergians older siblings He's far too honest for anyone to handle tommy was always honest too but he learned from experince that honesty only lead to hurt Tommy was like an enderchest, you could never see beyond the exterior, everything inside was exclusive to him and him alone Toast is like when someone dies and all their fuckin items explode onto the ground. you just see everything and most of it was  pain and everyone feels bad because they thought he was the only one uneffected that nothing had ever put a damper on his happiness and energetic smile- at what point had that smile became fake? also for angst reasons the last memory toast has is before the elections toast has uwu boy vibes but more chaotic toast goes to dream smp from logstedshire purely for sam nook toast starts making his hotel since he sees nobody has a home (including dream LMAO) (and he wants to make a safe place since everyone keeps saying something about war) and wants to make one and asks sam for help since apparently hes good at building and sam lets him pay after he finishs the hotel and sam nook is there since day one because i dont think i could handle a world without sam nook toast: biting everyone tubbo: wHY DO YOU DO THAT?????? toast: once techie bit all the cupcakes and then said it was his cuz he bit it so im biting everyone to show their mine!!!!! tubbo: i- tubbo: i am both flattered and disgusted everyone, remembering how tommy used to bite everyone upon meeting and then everyone would get mad at him and yell at him until he stopped biting people on meeting: sadly whips and nae naes hes a BABY toast deserves the fucking world also i havent talked ab it but there is wilbur and fundy angst here fundy confronts wilbur also not that fundy is angry about not not not getting murdered by his father but also why does he consider tommy his unfinished sympohny and not him? he raised fundy too- maybe he just only ever loved tommy (based off his insecurity of how close wilbur and tommy are based off wilbur raising tommy and wilbur only being there for fundy by the time he was older and also using hybrid age go nyoom for this dream manipulates toast during wilburs exile along with wilbur and toast realizes both of them were being used by him and fucking screams lourder than he ever has before and dissapears for a week and then shows up at technos house (he got lost and he didnt know why he was at logsted shire- he doesnt remember the place) on the day of the excution and tries to help technoblade but keeps forgetting that everyone is trying to kill techno the butcher army is hesitant when "hey why are you all attacking big brother Techy-" "HE SPAWNED WITHERS IN L'MANBERG!" "he did?" toast asked tilting his head in confusion "YES! HE DID! AFTER YOU DIED! NOW WHERE IS HE TOAST! WE NEED TO CAPTURE HIM!" whenever tubbo talks ab how theyre planning on excuting techno or how there was no trial toast has flashbacks to tubbos excution but hes never able to hold on to the memories just leaving him feeling bad toast sees anything traumatic and just makes the blue screen noise toast has to reboot every time anything truamatic happens and when he does he doesnt remember what happens after

toast hurts on a "THE FUCKING IMPLICATIONS OF THIS" level just.. everyone trying to make up for not noticing tommys hurt and trying to be good to toast when its already too late... far too late glatt is also here because whenever ytoast dissapears after something trauamtic he bounces back to the land of the dead for the bit and sometimes he drags glatt out to the land of the living with him only works bc toast has unfinished buisness so he can freely go between and just stays in the land of the lving until he can finish his unfiinshed buisness ghostbur and toast wouldve been good friends if they ever met anyone yells at toast and he immeditly starts sobbing

basically when everything is calm and peaceful and everyone is happy together after dream is in prison and toast is like "oh... this is what ive always wanted"

"toast?" tubbo asked, confused toast smiled softly, "i think its time for me to go" "what?" wilbur asked his pitch unusually high due to the fear lacing his voice "i think... i think this was my unfinished buisness... this is the last thing i wanted when i was alive, the reason i stayed... i think its finally my time to go now" toast said smiling tearfully "no! you vcan't go! we just got you back!"

basically when everything is finally ok, when things finally calm down toast fades back to the void/afterlife thing

[areiton]

AreiReadsTooMuch - April 18

So if you aren’t aware, I’ve been posting my recent SteveTony reads on @stevetonyweekly​. So if you’d like some Stony content, check it out! But @verdantbogmoth​ thought I should share everything else I read over here, so we’re bringing back arei reads too much!

only if it’s chaste by akira_of_the_twilight (Stuckony/7k)

Tony ravaged his repertoire for a witty comeback, but the two kisses had shut his brain down. So instead he whirled, pretended to organize his tools and threw his head back haughtily. “Seriously? Are you two five-year-olds or something?”

“Says the man who is compared to a five-year-old on a weekly basis,” Bucky retorted.

“That is because I am young and full of vitality, unlike you ninety-year olds.”

Steve and Bucky chuckled.

Bucky walked up behind Tony and gave him one last peck on the cheek. “Whenever you’re in the mood for a little spring-winter romance let us know. We’ll be happy to indulge.”

Tony thought his brain had malfunctioned before, but that statement alone infected his brain like a deadly computer virus. So caught up in his disbelief and shock he missed Bucky and Steve’s departure. By the time he rebooted his brain, the two were gone and he was alone in the workshop.

“FRIDAY, what just happened?”

“I believe Sergeant Barnes, and by extension Captain Rogers, propositioned you, boss.”

Pirates heart by NotEvenCloseToStraight (Stuckony) 

The 1700s, the Golden Age of Piracy, and Captain Steve Rogers has all he wants: a ship, a loyal crew, Bucky at his side, and the horizon offering a new adventure everyday.

But an impulsive kiss gone wrong leads to a marriage between Steve and Tony Stark, and now Steve doesn't know what to do about ANYTHING.

Steve loves Bucky, but something about Tony draws him in. Tony is too innocent for this life, but he picks up a sword anyway. Bucky is Steve's, but when he offers his hand to Tony and now the three of them are something new.

When the truth about Steve's mission to ruin the Stark name comes out, Tony runs away, leaving Steve and Bucky behind in search of answers to the secrets hidden from him his whole life-- about his company, about Uncle Obie, about his parents death.

Steve and Bucky cant abandon their mission against Stane and Tony cant deal with the answers he finds in New York.

Is this the end? Is Tony gone forever? Or will he leave his old life and return to the sea and the Pirates that hold his heart?

master of my fate (captain of my soul) by half_submergedinPurgatory (Stuckony/14k) 

Soulmarks aren't always a good thing. People say they stand for a grand destiny, but Tony is a fan of evidence over folklore. And evidence states that your 'grand destiny' could simply be your ending. Death or something worse.

Tony thinks his soulmark just represents his death. It certainly doesn't mean that Bucky and Steve are his soulmates.

Nailed it by Kangofu_CB, Lissadiane, Villainny (Nny) (Winterhawk / 24k) 

“From GrrlTragic: Suddenly all the actual sex toys in the world disappear, what do you use in their place?”

 Bucky is grateful he’s locked his arm, because otherwise the camera would’ve tumbled straight out of his grip and onto the floor. He’s staring at Clint in shock but Clint doesn’t seem to notice, just laughing and setting the card aside as he continues to talk.

 OR

What’s a little Wank Off Wednesday between friends?

Stop the world (i want to get off) by  27dragons, tisfan (Winteriron/46K)

Five times Tony and Bucky used their safewords, and one time they didn’t have to.

or, Clint can’t believe that Bucky Barnes is so damned vanilla when he’s dating Tony Stark…

or, how Bucky learns to hurt people in the fun way.

  a couple rebel top gun pilots (flying with nowhere to be) by notcaycepollard (Sambucky/19k)

That seems to be the thing that breaks the ice between them; Bucky's never really hung out with Sam before, past being jammed into a too-small car for six hours and then two uncomfortable months in a safehouse trying not to get on each other’s last nerve. Now they’re getting lunch or coffee every few days. Sam falls asleep on Bucky’s couch three more times. Bucky joins him and Steve a couple of times on their morning run.

He doesn’t notice, is the thing; doesn’t notice how ever since Sam slept on his couch that night he’s been letting Bucky closer bit by bit, that as Bucky’s been wondering about the boundaries and structures of friendship, Sam’s been drawing in.

kiss and tell by ali_aliska (Winteriron/25k) 

Loki is a menace who doesn't take time off for the holidays and there is now an enchanted mistletoe popping up above Tony every time someone gets too close, keeping them stuck until they share a kiss.

Thankfully, the Avengers are an affectionate bunch and any kiss will do, so Tony isn't stressing out about it, really.

Well, except for the part where the one person he really wants to kiss has been avoiding him like the plague, even before the whole mistletoe business. Clearly Tony has ruined his friendship with Bucky somehow and he should just give up on his dumb crush and this is just the worst Christmas ever.

~*~*~

Bucky Barnes would really just like for the rest of the Avengers to stop kissing the man of his dreams, the man he realized he's in love with, all the time, all over the Tower, while looking Bucky straight in the eye.

[shadowturtlesstuff]

No secrets...

here is my how you get the girl cressworth. its kinda sad, i wanted to do happy but i cant apparently. the end is happy and i really want to do a part 2 in cresswells pov

The cold buries itself inside me, finding its way past my bones and gathering through me till all my thoughts are of the cold. Distracting me from what I am about to do, and I cannot figure out whether that is a good thing or not. I haven't spoken to the insufferable Mr. Thomas Cresswell for over six months, yet I am walking a familiar route to his door. I still haven't pieced together why I feel the need to see him tonight, instead of the morning but even if he shuts the door on me and leaves me to fend for myself against the rain it might calm my racing mind. He would be right to do so, after I walked away first. We were close, getting closer every day. Thomas had told  me his feelings plenty of times and I had brushed them off till I started to feel them too. I panicked and then made a mess of everything. We are both poor at expressing our feelings yet I had run from the thought of even trying, and now that I have been away I realized how important he is to me, not only as someone I love but as a friend. I miss his quick wit, his charm and dry humour that uncle doesn't think is appropriate half the time. I miss knowing I will see him and see his own smile at me. Knowing I could melt the cold heart of his with just a small comment is something I was proud of, yet began to fear slightly as it was too easy to see that smile. I had learnt that nothing in life is that easy.

I was wrong. Desperately wrong.

Now I haven't seen that smile in so long and I miss it. I miss the person who shares my humour and lets me face any challenge. I just hope he has missed me half as much as I missed him.  

My heels click against the cobblestone, my pace speeding up to match my racing heart. Thomas’s house comes into view as I round a corner and I suck in a sharp breath. Can I really face Thomas again? Tell him that I miss him?      

This is a worthless idea, a ridiculous notion that Thomas would want to talk to me now. I should leave now and get out of the rain before I become seriously ill and bed ridden by my father. The rain has drowned my skirts, my hair clings to my face. This was a fool's errand. I turn trying to swallow my embarrassment and resentment towards myself when I hear a door open. Shit. I refuse to turn and see if it’s Thomas’s and hope that it-

“Audrey Rose?”

Shit. of course luck would abandon me to this. I don't know what I expected to find when I turned back but it was not this. Thomas, my devilishly handsome friend, stands in his doorway eyes completely transfixed on me. We stand staring, the only sound surrounding us is the pouring rain and my own heartbeat which has amplified its sound so all of London can hear my fear. My anticipation, love and heartbreak and guilt. Words flood my mind but none surfice what I need to tell him and I open and close my mouth like a gaping fish. I’m sure the rain is helping reinforce me looking like such a fool. My mind repeats what an idiot I am and I begin to turn to save myself from further embarrassment.

“Come inside?” Thomas's voice fills the whole street, it sounds slightly panicked, as though he doesn't know what to say. I don't blame him. I showed up uninvited at his flat and haven't managed to look like a functioning human yet I debate leaving, even if I want to stay, but just as I make a step to leave I hear a broken please.

Once again we stare at each other, there are so many words between us that I consider that there isn't a right one to start with. Perhaps his ‘please’ is an effective start. It certainly captured my attention. The rawness of the plea makes me nod and walk towards him. I want to believe Thomas has missed me, that I meant something, but if that is the case, he should be more mad at me. So why invite me in? Why bother?    

“I saw you out the window and,” Thomas begins as I stop in front of him and wait in case he changes his mind, “I thought I was crazy at first but when I realized it truly was you I thought I'd save you, just like old times.”  

His tone is bittersweet, I wince because I am the reason it has a bitter-ish undertone laced with a hint of grief.

“Save me?” I look around slightly confused, there is no assailant chasing me, no murderer on my tail as far as I knew so what is he saving me from? My own mind, because in a way he has, or at least might.

“The rain. I know you hate the cold and no one wants to stand in the rain so,” he moves from the door and gestures inside. I look down at my dress, completely full of water and wince again.

“As you might guess, the rain has now used my dress as a sponge so if I enter your flat I will ruin it.” I take a step back, it is coward-ish but I can't ruin anything else for him, even if it is only water damage. It won't be the worst thing I've done to him.

“Wadsworth, just get inside.”

His flat is warm and makes me notice how cold I truly was. Immediately I begin shivering as Thomas gets towels, blankets and anything to warm me up.

We sit across from each other, I'm wrapped in blankets and holding onto a mug of coco for dear life as Thomas sits with one hand on his and the other tapping on his armchair. The silence is not as bad as I expected but it was never awkward silence that Thomas and I shared. Which reminds me of Thomas's previous words.

Just like old times.

Except not like old times at all. I have to say something soon and again there is no right way to start this. Sorry will not suffice or fix it, but it is still necessary. Hopefully it will mean something at least.

“I know this is unexpected and probably unwanted and it has been awhile since we spoke but,” I chance a glance at him and he is staring at his mug with an unreadable expression, I've no idea where I'm going with this speech but if I can get him to at least look at me it will be worth it, “but I've missed you and I've had time to reflect on my mistakes.”

“Wadsworth, I've missed you more than I want to admit. I spent everyday waiting to see if you would come back but now you’re here…”

He trails off, leaving me to guess what he is thinking, which is always difficult, but add my paranoia I can only expect he wants me gone. However, I wait in dreaded silence for him to collect himself and speak his mind.

“You’re here and I've no idea what I want.”

We both consider his words, it seems we are still both atrocious at understanding our feelings.

“I've figured out that I want you in my life in some way, any way, and that I was tired of running, of pretending and hiding. I was afraid, before, of what we were and even if we can never go back to that I- I guess I am not going to conform to my fear anymore.”

“I lost my mind when you were gone. I thought I had somehow pushed too far or interpreted things wrong, perhaps I had, but coming here and saying you missed me doesn't fix everything.”

“I understand the fear, Wadsworth but we were partners, no secrets, remember?”

He finally looks at me and I wish he hadn’t. His dark brown eyes pierce my already fragile heart. “I know.” I whisper, looking at my cup.

Once again I whisper I know. I knew this would only be the start of fixing things and I was grateful he was even letting me try.

“I know, no secrets,” I look at him and brace myself to confess my thoughts, “I am a fool for running, I know that now, but at the time I felt trapped, not because of you but what you represent, in a fashion, change does not come easy, but you made it feel so easy I hadn't realized the change and I had convinced myself long before you nothing was easy or fair. I was the difficult, unfair one, and I will forever be sorry, Cresswell, I would like to make it up to you but I understand if-” I let out a breath and attempt to say, if you don't want me to but I can't. It is selfish but I desperately want to make things right.

“No secrets,” Thomas says, almost to himself as he quickly stands then takes the seat right next to me, taking the coco and setting both mugs down. “You are a little insane Wadsworth,” he says with a hint of a smirk and I let the comment slide just because of that smirk, “We cannot change what has happened or fix it as quickly as we would both like but I've missed you too much to be mad. In the future we should be better at this, both of us. I never told you how petrified I felt either. My adoration of you caught me off guard. I thought I had some disease, much to Dacina’s amusement, and I considered running too but you were, are, intoxicating.” Thomas smiles at me, full of promise that I smile back. He is offering a truce of sorts through his own truth and I can't help but imagine Thomas trying to explain his feelings to his sister.

“No secrets, no running.” I offer back and he nods, taking my hand in his and absentmindedly making shapes as we sit in silence. Just like old times.

Except I ruin it with my shivers. I was so focused on Thomas I forgot I was still damp and cold.

“You know, skin to skin contact is the most efficient way of warming up, I wouldn't want you catching hypothermia when there is a simple solution.” he says, smirking fully and I roll my eyes despite my huge smile. There is the Cresswell I fell in love with.

“Scoundrel.” I remove my hand from his and place it under the blankets and nestle further back.

“I am indeed, but also a gentleman. You’re staying here till it's stopped raining. You can have my bed if you want, or the sofa. I can find some fresh clothes and dry your dress as much as possible.”

Thomas leaves the room too fast for me to formulate a sentence so I sit and mull over what has happened. It will not be like before, we have those elements but mixed with something new. I expected to fear that, but found myself excited instead. Thomas returns with a pile of clothes and sets them by me but i make no move to get them. I have only just gained some warmth and even though sitting in wet-ish clothes will be worse, I can't make myself move.

“Can you sit with me please? For a bit, then you can use your bed. I've imposed too much so the sofa is fine, thank you.” I watched him sit back in his chair and smile slightly. I missed all his little mannerisms, how he immediately sets his arm out ready to tap if he needs to. How his hair flicks down. I decide I much prefer his messy hair than neat. There is a softness to his features now that wasn't there when I first saw him tonight. He also looks tired and I consider that I should have picked a better time. Thomas is too kind to comment on that fact.

“You are not imposing Wadsworth. I will happily sit with you all night if you wish and thank you for coming. Albeit the timing is bad, you could have waited for better weather to prevent any illness but- I'm glad you came. I wanted to see you but I thought I was a coward and didn't want to face you if you didn't want to see me.”

His words hit me like a knife in the gut. We were both afraid, both controlled by our own insecurities that we both nearly never got to this stage. It is laughable at how ironic it was. Thomas and I were both convinced the other would not want to see us.

“You are right, we do need to be better,” I say and he looks over at me, “tomorrow, weather permitted, would you like to go to breakfast with me?”

“I'll make breakfast and if weather permits I'd be delighted to go to lunch with you.” Thomas tries to stifle a yawn and I ignore the tug of uneasiness that is screaming. This is too easy. Instead I lean my head back and revel in it, commit Thomas's adorable yawn to memory and agree to tomorrow's plans.

“You should go to bed Cresswell, we seem to have a long day planned tomorrow and i need to get out of my wet clothes.”

“Do I need to reiterate my method of warmth?” He asks.

“Need I reiterate what a scoundrel you are?”

“Yes, I enjoy your slight blush when you say it.”

“Goodnight Thomas.”

He stands and I watch him stretch slightly, walk so that he is facing me. Then he reaches and presses a kiss to my temple. “Goodnight Audrey Rose.”

The kiss lingers, a phantom touch that stays with me all night. Warms me enough to hold onto the hope that Thomas and I will be okay. Our spark will reignite just as, if not more, intensely than before.

@fangirling-again @kittycat2187 @goatahoan @city-of-fae @the-hoofflepooff @ink-insomnia @purplecreatorhorsewagon @boredbookwormgirl @goddess-of-writing-wars @lovecakeandmore @yikesitsmaddie @loveyatopluto @bookscressworth @androgynousdeputylawyershoe @fandomtakeover @throneoftsc