#and the whole “fandomization” of literally everything. every piece of every media ever has to have shipping in it/popular meme formats/aus
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Thanks for the tag @physics-of-one-piece !! 🫢 I had no idea you were so computer-savvy, that's amazing 😳😳 and oh my gosh, are you kidding me, I DREAMED of being a paleontologist when I was younger 🥹💕 I freakin' LOVE dinosaurs! They're awesome!
What's the origin of your username?
In middle school, I was obsessed with a couple of characters that had horse-features. That includes Foaly (Artemis Fowl), Mr. Tumnus (yes, the faun from Narnia...), and Grover (Percy Jackson). Heck, I didn't even like the PJO series but I read it for GROVER. Just for him!! My friends thought it was so bizarre how I gravitated to these characters and nicknamed me hoofgirl. My original tumblr account was called hoofgirl, but I deleted it later on after it became old and inactive XD then made a new blog with the same username I go by on IG, ohnomyhooves!
OTP + shipname:
I actually don't really have an OTP anymore :') there are plenty of ships that I adore, though! Quite a lot to name but some of my current faves are Zolu, Frobin and Saboala.
Favourite colour:
Green all the way! I love every shade of green.
Song stuck in my head:
'Hello' by Oasis...the next chapter of one of my fics is titled after it, so I'm reminded of it every time I go to work on my WIP XD
Weirdest habit/trait:
I LOVE to yap about scandals and interesting incidents in the scientific community. That guy who faked discovering element 114, the one who faked human cloning, literally anything to do with nuclear fusion, the future of Thorium, etc. etc. and I will somehow end up doing this irrespective of who my audience is. They will have to stop me or get with the program 😔
Hobbies:
Obviously, drawing and writing are the biggest ones! They have both been my lifelong love. But I also love reading and going down niche Internet rabbit holes to learn lore about anything and everything.
If you could have any job you wish, what would you have?
I want a career in developing nuclear fusion technologies so bad. If that fails, my next (and very different) idea of a dream job would be to work at an aquarium. I love fish like nobody's business. Fish are awesome.
Something you're good at:
Drawing with pen on paper with no sketch or guidelines. This is such a weird flex but on a good day I can go straight to lineart with perfect anatomy, but ONLY on paper XD for some reason this never works digitally lol
Something you hate:
Cooking meat. I hate it. I'm not vegetarian, but since living alone I've basically become vegetarian out of how much I dislike cooking with meat, and now I'm actually considering going completely veg!
Something you forget:
To take my vitamins! Damn! I even forgot today!
Your love language:
Spending chill quality time. If I'm fond of someone I'd wanna hang out with them as much as possible. Also, gift-giving!
Favourite movies/shows:
One Piece is my favourite show of all time, I think XD but I also adore HunterxHunter. I don't watch many live action shows or movies anymore, anime has consumed all of my media time...
Favourite food:
Literally any dish with a generous amount of mushrooms. Mushrooms are my favourite ever. I love veggies in general, too, and calamari is pretty much the only seafood that I enjoy but I love it!
Favourite animal:
HORSES! Horses, crocodiles, jellyfish, snakes, whale sharks, nurse sharks (been swimming with them!), and of course, FLAMINGOS XD i love all weird looking fish, too, they have my whole heart.
What were you like as a child?
I was always that fandom kid, involved in a bunch of fandoms and writing fic and making fanart xd also a huge nerd, took studying way too seriously, sucked at sports, but loved adventure.
Favourite subject in school?
History and science!
Least favourite subject in school?
They taught us this subject called "Practical and Technical Skills" where they'd teach us nothing practical, actually. We just had to memorise things about gardening and cooking 💀 that sucked. Also, I hated learning English literature in school because our teacher was horrendously mean!
What's your best character trait?
I'm always up for supporting people when they're going through a rough time, even if it's just providing a listening ear.
What's your worst character trait?
My social battery runs out quickly, and I can start seeming very apathetic at times😭
If you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be?
Definitely wasting less time and being less of a procrastinator...
If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet?
I REALLY DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS ONE. Maybe my late grandfather, though he only passed when I was 16, because he was so funny, and he had all the same hobbies as me. Also, he knew how to read Sanskrit?? Something I did not discover until after his passing :')
☆
Thank you for tagging me, this was so fun to do!! I'm gonna go ahead and tag @saraptor-art @sugarpsalms @eggburnt and anyone else who wants to do this, if they feel like it! :')
Get to know mutuals 💞
tagged by @bankaizen ily so much ex-hubby
What’s the origin of your username? it started in the server where i believed 'little dove' would be one of doffy's go to pet names for his darling, then it morph into an oc for him named dove. basically i've made loving donquixote doflamingo my whole personality
OTP(s) + shipname: i'm more of an oc/canon shipper nowadays BUT bege/chiffon, frobin, zorobin, zolu, zolaw, are all GREAT ships
Favourite colour: PURPLE!!! and black of course
Song stuck in my head: How Bad Do U Want Me by Lady Gaga. i've been obsessed with it tbh
Weirdest habit/trait: i literally never stop picking my fingers. it's more than a nervous habit bc i do it even when i'm not nervous. it's why i use fake press on nails religiously bc it is the only thing that actually deters me from completely picking my nails to the point i draw blood
Hobbies: singing, gaming, reading, want to pick playing guitar back up too bc i haven't in a long time
If you could have any job you wish what would you have? i really don't YEARN any particular career any longer bc i'd rather just... not BUT i have always wanted to work in a museum or just anything having to do with fossils. as a kid, i always wanted to be a paleontologist
Something you’re good at: my job 💞 even when i feel like i'm not doing a good job i always get a pat on the back for a job well done
Something you hate: peanut butter, shit is fucking DEESGUSTIN
Something you forget: i forget to call my parents sometimes and i always feel so bad bc i don't get to see them that often anymore
Your love language: words of affirmation to the EXTREME. pls tell me you love me and that i'm pretty and that you need me and that you love me and that i'm pretty and-
Favourite movies/shows: ONE PIECE!!!! best thing i've ever decided to watch. my fave movies of all time are jurassic park, pacific rim, and aliens. basically big monster movies my beloved.
Favourite food: PASTA. and also burgers.
Favourite animal: PENGUINS!!!!!! and also hippos, horses, and foxes
What were you like as a child? attached to my mom at the hip. i did not want to be around anyone else tbh.
Favourite subject in school: english and probably science
Least favourite subject: math and pe literally wanted to die bc i was a fat kid and couldn't keep up so i got made fun of a ton for it
What’s your best character trait: i'm a fierce friend, i don't do a lot of defending for myself, i usually just brush things off, but if my friends are upset i will LEAP and defend them and FIGHT for them if i need to
What’s your worst character trait? i constantly feel like everyone hates me far too often, and i can't stand the feeling of being left out. it consumes me that everyone is just doing better and happier without me, and i let those thoughts become my reality and i operate as if everyone truly believes the things my brain came up with
If you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be? i might take college a little more seriously and actually gone for something that could have made me more money but.... then i never would have met my soulmate that i've spent a decade with so... i truly believe everything happens for a reason
If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet? i honestly don't have a great answer lol
tagging: @shinjihirakos @mandiemegatron @nina-ya @shanalikeanna @physics-of-one-piece @eussstasss
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Bro what fear I have to browse fandom/character tags for HOURS to get canonical characterisations in fan stuff besides fanart what are you even talking about
#even if the fear of mischaracterisation got bigger so did the mischaracterisation itself#not to be the “media literacy” person but people DID genuinely get worse at media comprehension#like. idk how this keeps happening bc there's a culture of media analysis AND pure content consumption existing at the same time#there's just so much of everything that ppl simply don't get to sit on one piece of media they consumed before moving to another#and the whole “fandomization” of literally everything. every piece of every media ever has to have shipping in it/popular meme formats/aus#and so on. like. we have to cram everything into these tiny preexisting boxes otherwise we don't know how to properly interact with media-#post experience. it's so sad and bizzare really#also the whole toxic positivity/accepting everything in art as right and reasonable vs overcritisism and hate for meta reasons thing#ANYWAY. what i want to say is. all people DO in fandoms is putting words into characters' mouthes because it's funny#and you have to make a conscious decision to create a proper portrait of a character as they are shown in canon to not fall into their-#sorry. not to fall into how the fandom commonly perceives them#i was a wheatley fan and a silco/silver fan currectly. it's a pure nightmare out there#fandom#fandom community#fandom complaints#fandom critical#fandom culture#meta commentary#thing rambles#it sounds like i kinda condemn ppl for having fun in their own way but. at some point you have to question what they liked about the source#material in the first place. if this is what they decided to take from all of this#idk man. i just feel trapped in some kind of loop and i have no idea how to get out
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No, ppl, VPNs aren't even possible for many MANY ppl in the third world. You can't buy a VPN in a brick and mortar store, and many of us (adults who are parents of kids in schools and everything) don't even own credit cards. Many who do still cannot afford VPN because what is easily affordable to a Westerner could pay my bills for a whole month. It depends on how poorly my currency is performing against the US dollar.
Even Paypal is sth mythical. I mean, I've had pieces accepted in US magazines for what the editors said was a token payment, about 50 dollars. Man, those 50 dollars would've paid off so much! That would be a FORTUNE. But I had to waive the payment EVERY time because Paypal doesn't work in my country. Grrr.
That doesn't mean third world countries listed on the Paypal site can use it either. My country is on it but every time I filled surveys etc and they transferred the money, I couldn't get my bank to let me have it. I know a third worlder in another country who has had that happen to them too.
My heart goes out to fellow readers and writers in Malaysia. Some of the most mindblowingly beautiful fics I've ever read (they were gushed abt by Americans and Brits and Aussies so I assumed the writers were native English speakers) turned out to have been written by fellow third worlders, one of those in my own country! The idea of waking up to find my country decided to ban ao3 is just... unbearable.
I hope the Malaysians find a way around it. And I hope whoever made that horrible decision gets the worst RPF written abt them AND hears about it from their political rival.
--
Yeah, I'm always meeting fans online from certain countries: Malaysia, Indonesia, the Philippines. Some places just seem to produce a lot of nerds. Or maybe more people learn English? IDK. Both a lack of (popular-with-fans) local media and a lack of economic opportunity can incentivize foreign language learning, so I'm sure that's part of it along with a certain amount of randomness.
In any case, part of why AO3 is run on donations instead of having paid accounts with better features is that a lot of core fans who write the fic and make the recslists and make fandom happen turn out to be in situations where they literally cannot pay even if they have the money.
Someone who's popular might be able to get foreign friends to pay for their VPN, but even then, can they actually get access to it? Questionable.
As for the last, it will be with their political rival, and you know it! They'll have to hear from some aide. ;D
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If i ever were able to list all the things i dislike in Magisterium series, this post would've been endless. Instead, I'd mention smth i love so much that it makes me re-read the series for the fifth time and gives me inspiration for new drawings and playlists



The first one is aesthetic. I don't think I've ever read a YA book with the death and necromancy as the main lore theme. Also, the first book in series is so sweet and innocent compared to the fourth I can't believe it lol. Corpses. So gothic. So edgy. Love it
The second is very similar to the first - chaos magic. We come across elemental magic in all sorts of media, but they don't usually have the 5th element, or if they have it's more likely to be electricity or smth. Not ACTUAL NECROMANCY omfg... I love it. Also Makars being able to manipulate not only chaos (the void itself) but the soul.... Cute
So next. The main character ofc. Callum Hunt. What can I say he is such a cinnamon roll hating himself for what he is not. Screaming, crying, throwing up. I can feel his pain with every fiber of my soul he's so relatable. He is a type of chaotic neutral main character which is rare I guess, and at the same time he doesn't act like a total jerk and piece of shit. Can't name some other like him, idk. He's sweet but also edgy. His self-confidence is below the surface of the earth. He's just like me frfr my poor little meow meow. Also he is disabled and it influences the events of the book. Sometimes. Cool, representative. Not a disabled person myself but can appreciate it
Another reason for me to love the series is the changing of Call's secrets idk how to call this. The structure of his character lore. His secrets and abilities, they're layered.. you know... And every book one by one uncovers these layers: 1 - he uncovers that he is the reincarnation of Constantine. 2 - he gets his powers (which made Constantine evil at the first place). 3 - he learns more about Constantine's family, and the whole world finds out that he "is" the Enemy of Death. 4 - omg how much he uncovers here lol i can't. May be my favourite book thanks to its maaad vibe. Everything he learns here makes him closer and closer to Constantine. 5 - i know that most of the fandom thinks it was stupid to make Constantine himself a reincarnated thousand-years-old evil Makar. And i may agree. But in the moment of reading this it was so impactful for me idk why.... I literally cried idk!!! Lol. Love the moment where Call opens his memory to help his friends to fight wolves or smth, and PASSES OUT. KING. So, the other secret is uncovered here. Everything he learns makes him understand Constantine's/Maugris's motives, but he never ever becomes anything like them nor wishes to follow their path. Pretty symbolic and meaningful
Upd. SOME MOMENTS ARE FREAKING HILARIOUS
So what can I say? Every series has it's weak and strong points. Some of them become classic literature, some are forgotten in the abyss of YA books. I understand why Magisterium's place is with the second type of series, and it's not even saddens me anymore (we're so underground teehee). But i see many posts where the series is shitted over, and not much of posts appreciating the things that we actually love in it. Aren't they the reason you started and finished it sometime? So I'm here spreading positivity! And also because I'm so tired of being a fan of this shit so i tried to acknowledge all that i love, and why am i here in the first place
I think it's all for now, maybe I'll come with more ideas later
Fandom are you alive? Heh am I a Call kinnie to the point that i become necromancer?...
P.S. sometimes i think I'm so cringe to be periodically obsessed with this STUPID POOR-WRITTEN CHILDISH BOOK ABANDONED EVEN BY IT'S OWN CREATORS BUT I CAN'T HELP IT...... AND THE WORST THING IS THAT I DIDN'T EVEN READ IT IN MY EARLY TEENS (except the 1 which i read when i was around 13. Read it twice in one week so maybe that's the moment my brain was damaged) I READ IT WHEN I WAS 16 ALREADY aaarrrhh I'm so cringe. Why obsession why why why why why why i hate this but this is literally the only book which makes me cry and scream and feel every fucking time i re-read it even when i know EVERYTHING THAT'S GONNA HAPPEN LITERALLY EVERYTHING reading it all again for the 6th time FOR GODDESS SAKE WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME
#magisterium#holly black#cassandra clare#ya#callum hunt#i'm so done#I'm a hater#and i not even here for yaoi#i hate yaoi personally
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This week’s writer spotlight feature is: Capriciously_Terminal! @capriciouslyterminal has 106 fics on ao3 in the Stranger Things fandom and 105 of them are in the Steddie tag!
@mustardyellowlilac recommends the following works by Capriciously_Terminal:
Where the Sun Can't Reach
Spit Me out, You Don't Know Where I've Been
It's the Ritual of the Thing
Baby I'm Your Man (Don't Fear the Reaper)
It's as if she writes memories, rather than stories, and that makes them tangible and devastating -- @mustardyellowlilac
Below the cut, @capriciouslyterminal answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!
Why do you write Steddie?
I started writing Steddie because the characters of Steve and Eddie have such specific and human voices that I literally couldn’t get them out of my head after watching the first drop of S4. (Also I’d just gotten a new puppy who didn’t love sleeping through the night so I had plenty of time to think). The more I wrote for them the deeper I found myself in their voices and thinking about what they could do and I had to keep going until I ran out of steam.
What’s your favorite trope to READ?
I love a good “Steddie interwoven into previous seasons’ canon events” story. Especially if an author makes it SO specific. I want Steve and Eddie in Starcourt. I want Eddie Munson popping up at the pumpkin patch. I want Eddie Munson in the background at Starcourt drooling. I want him to spend this whole time watching Steve’s character growth and finding it impossibly hot before getting twisted up in the horror.
What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?
I definitely love adding Eddie Munson to canon (thinking about him and life-guard Steve Harrington is where this all began, afterall). However I think that I, as a person, am just as obsessed with The Horrors. As such adding monstrosity/new flavors of spooky to this show was my favorite thing to do.
What’s your favorite Steddie fic?
I can narrow it down to two! My favorite piece of Steddie fic that changed my brain chemistry has got to be fastcardotmp3’s “that’s just wasteland, baby!” (https://archiveofourown.org/works/42351597) because the scene in the lake? The genuine wonderful take on in media res apocalypse living? Dot’s talent for characterization/love? I’ll never live it down. Actually, go read everything by fastcardotmp3. Do yourself a favor. The other has to be “every mistake was made purposefully” by birthdaycandles (https://archiveofourown.org/works/41795838/chapters/104862381). It turns out I’m a sucker for excellent narration and watching Steddie/plot shenanigans from Tommy Hagan’s prickly point of view. It gave me everything I’ve ever wanted.
Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?
I always wanted to write a When Harry Met Sally AU about Steve and Eddie meeting throughout their lives/development. I don’t know if I’ll ever pick it up again but it’s still there knocking at the back of my mind. I’ve also got like fifteen of the drabbles in i love you you dope with bits of continuation in my head too.
What is your writing process like?
In general, my writing is a very all or nothing process. It’s either going to go all day, through meals, and not stop until the idea is finished OR I’m going to be stalled completely. Generally, though, if I’m in my crazy inspired phase I’ll have an idea (specifically the beginning of something) and if that idea sticks in my head for more than a single day then I probably can’t leave it until it’s done. However, this did change with my writing i love you you dope. I decided to answer p0ck3tf0x's "100 Ways to Say I Love You" list one prompt at a time. Once a day. RIP. This led to a writing process which was more of a sit down after work and immediately write the first thing you could think of until it’s done kind of affair. I can’t recommend that style lol. It led to some pretty intense burnout by the end but I am proud of how many ideas came because of it. It showed that, through tenacity, most ideas could be something worth pursuing.
Do you have any writing quirks?
I can’t help but put first and second person pronouns in descriptions as if speaking to the reader and I’m a frequent and blatant tense shifter. It’s all over the place at times lol. I also LOVE a good stream of consciousness description, flitting from one image to another, which probably lead to these grammatical quirks and a shit ton of run-on sentences.
Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?
Before I started writing i love you you dope I very much preferred finishing my writing before I posted it. It took ages but nothing felt worse than having to leave something unfinished because I’d lost the plot (which has happened several times). However, part of the draw of i love you you dope was that (as a challenge) I had to write and post daily. While I learned I can write on such a grueling schedule, I can safely say after finishing it that I prefer having the time to ensure something’s to my standards. Or, at least, until I’m tired of looking at it and just want other people to see it.
Which fic are you most proud of?
If we branch outside of my Steddie work it’s a fic for a little show called Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency that I think I’ll never top. A Road Song in Quartet that Smells like a Trio is basically my novel/brain-child about my favorite rowdy vampire boys and I have to shout it out everywhere I go. However, to stick to the Steddie, I had such a great time with characterization in writing It’s the Ritual of the Thing. Some of those descriptions are still some of my best work. Or, I’d have to say, Can We Both Be Lonely If We’re Both Looking at Each Other? It’s an AU modeled after the world of The Magnus Archives Podcast and not only was I proud of the way I was able to layer monstrosity on both Eddie and Steve but I just loved the world. I actually planned out a whole main plot for the world that never saw the light of day.
How did you get the idea for Baby I'm Your Man (Don't Fear the Reaper)?
I can’t remember which came first, the title or the idea of Eddie meeting Death as played by Steve Harrington, but the song title by Blue Öyster Cult had definitely been sitting in my head for a while. The idea initially started as a Seventh Seal reference with Eddie having to challenge Death with Steve Harrington’s face to a game of basketball but that scene wasn’t working so instead we got a trip through various S4 locales and a fun Death with good hair.
When writing Spit Me out, You Don't Know Where I've Been, what was something you didn’t expect?
I honestly didn’t know if anyone would vibe with the language/story. For a fic that focused a lot on unease, offal, and how hard it would be to picture a future in a small town I was waiting for people to not touch this one with a ten foot pole. So to hear that it actually channeled people’s feelings or that it was something that people enjoyed (as opposed to just me shouting stressful things at the sky) was a big expectation dodge.
What inspired It's the Ritual of the Thing?
When I was in high school I had a friend who asked me out once, the first person to ever do so, and my first instinctual response was to genuinely ask him why he was really calling me after school. He insisted that he really did want to ask me out and for some reason that made my blood run cold. The date did not go well, obviously, but I remembered the gut punch to think someone wouldn’t want you/the desire to say no just because it frightened you for years afterwards. It felt like such an Eddie thing to feel, especially if Steve Harrington was the one to ask him out. Honestly…I poured a lot of my own worldview into Eddie Munson as I wrote him and that’s where a lot of this came from.
What was your favorite part to write from Ritual of the Thing?
I’d have to say it’s a toss up between two parts. Firstly, I’ll never get over the descriptive imagery in the beginning (I’ll never forget lines like “Suddenly it’s like he’s a Jack-O-Lantern with his mouth carved open. A candle sits on his tongue and its light is shining out of his eyes”). It was the kind of sentence I was thrilled to read after I wrote it. Secondly, I was really proud of Eddie and Robin’s conversation after Steve told her about his asking Eddie out. I loved both of their voices in that moment and the thought of Robin trying to explain how much Steve could love you even after you’d had to let him down…and her little fake nightmare discussion.
How do/did you feel writing Where the Sun Can't Reach?
On one hand it felt like I was exorcizing something because I show my class The Sandlot once a year and that means for one day I watch the scene where the kid fakes drowning to make-out with the lifeguard four times. That’s too many times. I had to process that. But I do remember that feeling of loneliness that could come with summer. That could come with wishing for a room somewhere with someone you loved when it felt impossible. I remember when the smallest of things could mean the world when you had nothing else…so in a way maybe I was exorcizing that too.
What was the most difficult part of writing Where the Sun Can't Reach?
Besides the jokey answer of reliving the aforementioned scene from The Sandlot on purpose, I’d have to say trying to accurately consider the physics/feelings of Eddie’s trip into the water. The feelings/actual consequences of hitting his head. I’m not too sure I got the details right but I remember working on it so many times that I eventually threw in the towel and went with what I had.
Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?
I think…it’s gotta go to my lone vampire Steddie fic I Go Hungry Every Night. The whole thing’s one big treatise to Upside Down skinned vampires and food/service as a love language? And also the fact that I love vampires/monstrosity. I just went way too hard with the line: “If you asked Steve what the opposite of tracing constellations in someone’s freckles in the afterglow would be he’d say this, making shapes in the pieces of the wound they’ve given you. The one that weeps red slowly.”
Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?
While I wish I did, and I’m always thinking about various unfinished fics in the strangest moments of my life, I think I’m pretty knocked from my Steddie writing mojo. I love you you dope was an incredible process and I am so proud of it…but I think it cauterized my writing brain for Steddie. I’d love for people to poke around the fics I wrote and I will say that other people’s intrigue sometimes pulls my attention back to old ideas…but I do believe I’m a bit out to pasture here lol.
Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?
Writing Steddie was something that kept me sane during a really stressful transition from college to adulthood. These characters and all the people I got to meet/talk with in this fandom have been one of the greatest joys in my life. I’m so honored, like honestly floored, that anyone would nominate me for something like this. The thing about writing fic is that oftentimes when you start it can feel like you can’t possibly amount to what other people do. Like you’re just a little voice that doesn’t have anything special about it even when you tried so hard. But I stand as someone who felt that way and still found that people did enjoy what I wrote and if I can do it, honestly, anyone can. <3
Thank you to our author, @capriciouslyterminal, and our nominator, @mustardyellowlilac! See more of Capriciously_Terminal's works featured on our page throughout the day!
Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!
#writer's wednesday#writer's spotlight#steddie#steddie fic recs#steve harrington#eddie munson#steve x eddie#stranger things#ao3 writer#steddie writers
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If you don't mind, can I ask, what are your top 10 (or top 7) favorite media (can be books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series)? Why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before......Thanks....
Thank you for asking! I had one person who sent me an ask related to this and then deleted it before I could answer (I think I scared them away yelling at other people in my asks 😂).
So here we go, a compiled overview of my TOP TEN FAVORITE MEDIA!! Some will be current that could change (like songs, ever changing) and others will be permanent (like shows).
NBC's Hannibal [Show]: It shouldn't come as a surprise that this is my top favorite piece of media of all time. Not to do the whole 'I liked it before it was mainstream' but I FOUND IT WHEN IT WAS STILL RELATIVELY CULT-LOVED AND GOT INTO IT WHEN IT WAS ON AMAZON PRIME VIDEO. THE FANDOM FELT TINY ❗️ Anyway, I'm so glad to see how far it's come and how the fandom has grown. This remains one of the only series that was cancelled that I couldn't tell was actually cancelled because it still wrapped up so nicely in the last-aired season. I'm endlessly impressed with the character arcs, the dynamics, the PSYCHOLOGY (a huge deal for me), and especially the dialogue. I mean, I could list literally every element of this show and how tastefully it was used, but the main highlights are how artfully the gore is shown - giving great perspective of the killers whose eyes we mainly see through - and the dialogue. There's a surrealist tone to it, and so many of the lines are subtle poetry without being the hamfisted one-liners of so many other shows that try to do the same. The actors are incredible, the scenes are precisely paced, and just overall you can tell this was a work of the heart. I mean, more superficially, the homoerotic nature of Hannibal and Will's relationship appealed to me as soon as it was introduced, because GODS is it miles higher in chemistry than like ACTUAL EXISTING so-called LGBT romance shows. (I'm glaring FLAMING DAGGERS at the garbage Interview With a Vampire show in which they ruined everything but most of all the chemistry that the original story did so well.) In any case, please watch it! It's one of the best things I've ever seen.
Last Night in Soho [Film]: Directed by my favorite director, Edgar Wright, who has the most fantastic habit of matching musical beats to visuals (a particular love of mine), this film is GORGEOUS, for one. The colors and scenery, the editing, the lights, the creative shots, the effects, the MIRRORS! Don't get me started on the mirrors. I love mirrors. One of my favorite things about characters - although ONLY when done well - is the contrast of duality. Some of the best portrayals besides this one are in Tokyo Ghoul and Moon Knight, off the top of my head. It's hard to find portrayals I like, but this one shines above them all. There are technicalities on the actual character being dual, but I wouldn't spoil it for you. It's the journey of both a past and present woman, one struggling to find her place in the fashion industry, and one struggling to escape the sex industry before it devours her. I heavily related to certain themes in this one and was viscerally enthralled in the choices and character arcs made in certain scenes. It's cathartic, it's overwhelming, it's PURE ART. You're missing out if you never see this one.
HBO's Sharp Objects [Show]: On so many levels, this one speaks to my wounded little heart. Dealing with heavy topics like childhood trauma, parental abuse, self harm, child murders, the bad sides of southern/small-town culture, and mental illness, I don't know if there's another character that I feel quite as connected to as Amy Adams' portrayal of Camille Preaker. The outstanding detail of this one for me, personally, is Camille's mother, Adora. I can confidently say that there IS no other mother that resembles how my childhood felt than Adora, and because of that this show was a painful sort of catharsis. But I love feeling emotions to a dangerous degree, and I'll just say the finale of this one wiped me the fuck out. I'm currently rewatching it for the first time with my close friends, and I'm so scared to get to that finale again. Lmao. But in a good way. In any case, other than Adora, I also identified with the accurate and visceral portrayals of self harm and PTSD. The way that they show flashbacks and visually jumpscare the viewer WITHOUT the presence of blasting music was the show's shining glory. You have literal ASMR wind and crickets over shots of a dead child's missing teeth, blood hitting pavement, pornography on a cabin door, and then a hanged corpse in the corner of the bedroom, right there with Camille in the shot. It is...SO accurate to the feelings of PTSD. It's just so good. I would recommend the show for that alone, and yet everything else is so perfect, too. Along with the gripping plot of a murder case, the intense shame that follows Camille wherever she goes makes for such good conflict and friction with her surroundings. Everything is personal because it takes place in her hometown. Anyway, I can't keep rambling my mind out of its skull over this one. It's beautiful, it's perfect, it's fascinating. Please see it. I beg of you. For me, it represented so much of how it felt to grow up with family dynamics like Camille's. If you relate to it, you'll either love the catharsis or hate the memories it revives.
No Longer Human [Novel]: Pretty sure I've already rambled my ass off about this one when I made the 10 Characters 10 Fandoms post since Yozo is one of the most relatable characters I've ever read about and thus one of my faves! But yeah, this novel is everything to me. I want so many quotes on my wall from it but honestly the one that I constantly think about is still that first line: "Mine has been a life of much shame." It's well known, but that doesn't make it any less impactful for me. I still tear up sometimes when I think about it. Yozo's thought process is just so...accurate. And knowing all about Dazai Osamu and his life as the writer and how closely it's tied to it? I don't think it will ever move from its spot as my top novel of all time.
The Vampire Armand by Anne Rice [Novel]: Lol so the gif isn't from this story specifically but I need gifs for happy brain so I have one related to the story. Probably one of my favorite romances of all time, mostly because it's a very reserved romance, in the sense that it can't exactly be labelled "romance" except in sub-context. (I mean they do have sex but it's like a story about vampires first, if that makes sense? The romance is sort of a subplot to Armand's vampire adventures.) Anne Rice is a favorite writer of mine, and this book was a masterpiece to me. The language she uses and the scenes of vampirism fascinated me, and I wish that vampire media was better at bringing Anne's true style to life. They make it so goofy nowadays, and no other vampire stories apart from some anime portrayals are ever interesting to me. Not to mention the new Interview With A Vampire series as aforementioned is SO BAD and I hate it. Anne could handle that excessive grace of a man who's lived for centuries and the intelligence gained along the way without ruining their humanity, and knew how to portray the loneliness of such a life without making her characters sound like the emo piss babies of Twilight. She has such a grasp on the poetry of words and breadth of experience, and I'll never get over just how exciting it was to read this book for the first time. Truly felt like I was discovering vampires for the first time, and how they would realistically operate if they existed.
Tokyo Ghoul [Manga]: I believe everyone knows quite enough about Tokyo Ghoul, so I promise not to ramble on this one! But in short, as a psychological thriller lover PLUS horror lover PLUS dual-personality-when-done-right-and-realistically lover PLUS cannibalism-exlored-and-the-terrifying-effects lover I MEAN THIS IS JUST THE STORY FOR ME OBVIOUSLY. Kaneki has and always will be fascinating to me no matter how mainstream or over-talked about he is. He is amazing. Did the anime leave out most of the good stuff from the manga? Yeah, but Kaneki was there. The torture scenes were great. Is the manga better? WORLDS BETTER. But I still enjoyed the anime and got into it through there. I respect the anime's attempt to capture what was a sincerely tragic and deep emotional story. But man, reading the manga is something else, entirely. I haven't had the chance to read every single volume, and I may have skipped around a bit in search of the best parts to invest my time in, but boy I never regretted it. Kaneki's arc, getting to see into his head and experience his trauma and eventual decline into madness was SO SO SO SO SO FUCKING GORGEOUS. Nothing will beat it for a descent into madness story for me, I don't think. Plus ghouls as a whole and the art of the manga are just so *claws the wall* I wish I could draw like that.
The Phantom of the Opera [Score]: What's this?? Het media on Sadist's list?? Okay. I'm a huuuuge music fanatic. I grew up with multiple instruments in the house and played to escape, wrote to express, blah blah blah you get it, I NEEDED music to survive. When I discovered this soundtrack, as someone who despises musicals (and still does, but a few have made it through to my heart), I was ENTHRALLED, I tell you. ENCHANTED! Never before or since have I heard such riveting, mysterious, ethereal music, much less in a musical. Every single fucking song on this soundtrack is evocative and perfect and EVERYTHING. And the STORY! AUGH! I've always adored the story. One of my main quarrels with het 'romance' media is that so many of the "greats" (AKA The Notebook, 50 Shades, Twilight, After, etc.) have these fucking...WALKING RED FLAGS that are presented to be the most romantic things ever. Like the movie itself is gaslighting the audience into believing the emotionally manipulative man dangling off of a ferris wheel and threatening to kill himself if the girl doesn't go out on a date with him is adorable. I don't find it cute I find it reminiscent of every bad partner I've ever had, and I can't watch the movies because NOBODY in them ever acknowledges or is affected negatively in any way by these glaring, abusive behaviors. In Phantom of the Opera, Eric (the phantom) is obsessive, stalkerish, possessive, etc. - many things that other media presents as love WITHOUT understanding how it's also terrifying. The movie (though a little goofy at times and dramatic, I'll admit - which is why the score and not the film is on my tops list LMAO) presents these factors as they SHOULD be presented - scary. The music is ominous, the songs are obsessive and enchanting, and it's not presented as cutesy romance. That's why I love it so much. If you want a toxic love interest, please go right ahead and make one! You guys know me, that's literally what I write about. So I hope I've made myself clear about this topic and what I mean - just present the actual abuse as ACTUAL ABUSE, and scary and horrible, even if the protagonist is falling in love with that. Because reality can be like that. It's tough. But in Phantom, Christine goes with the healthy love interest in the end, Raoul, and I've always thought the ending was beautiful for that, because the Phantom still learned love in the end by letting her go. ANYWAY! Enough of that, good grief lmao. Tumblr with no word limits is so dangerous for me.
Mo Dao Zu Shi [Donghua]: 3 Seasons and I still haven't had enough of it. I just recently rewatched this with my close friends and good gods I was appreciating all the intricacy and character development the second time around. There isn't a single character left un-developed in this donghua like SERIOUSLY. Seriously, big kudos to the fucking author. In anyone else's hands, the magic system and the multiple plot lines and the larger-than-life characters most likely would've been fumbled. But whoever directed this KNEW what they were doing and KNEW their source material. And look, even though I barely know who is who because names are confusing and I barely understand half of the magic going on and why people are fighting, THIS IS THE SINGULAR SHOW THAT EXISTS WHERE IT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER. I'M STILL TRYING TO UNDERSTAND HOW THAT WORKS. But it does? The emotional capacity of every scene no matter if I know what's happening or why just HITS and I'm always rooting for the characters or crying over them. Like, it's just insane. Okay. Everyone who's into BL should watch it, because it's one of the best. And even if you're not into BL, it's one of the best. The action is INCREDIBLE. apffff moving on.
The Case Study of Vanitas [Anime]: BRUUUUUHHHHH. We all know. We all know. I don't need to say anything. But the two boys, man. Two of my top faves. The show is gorgeous, the character designs are beautiful, the setting is romantic, the boys are gay (they are. they are gay.)...I mean what more can I ask for. Oh yeah also vampires! They're vampires. And I love vampires that are like, actually cool. Thank you for making actually cool vampires within a really interesting magic system. I would kiss the author but she made Vanitas straight so no kisses. ONE OF MY FAVORITE COUPLE OF CLIMAX EPISODES OF ALL TIME BTW.
A Silent Voice [Anime Film]: :(...I can't really talk about this one. I relate to it so much. Social anxiety, depression, attempted suicide. It's a really beautiful and painful movie. I cry every time I watch it. The end, that's all. The imagery and the meaning behind so many shots is just...UWEGH.
To Your Eternity [Anime]: *furiously points* LOOK AT THE BABY. OH MY GODS LOOK AT HIM. You guys, you guys. You guys. If you haven't seen this, and you like crying, and you need to cry really hard, and you need the most fascinating and heart wrenching story of all time, this is the one. Fushi, also? Hot. The Beholder, his daddy? Hot. Kenjiro Tsuda? Hot. Sorry, besides the point. This is the best written "you're supposed to cry" story I've ever seen. Nothing beats it. You know what they're going to do to you but yet they somehow subvert your expectations of HOW every fucking time, and MAN??? It hurts. But it hurts so good. And Fushi should be real so I can kidnap him, that's all.
I did 11 things, I'm so sorry. I do this every time. BUT I SURE HOPE YOU FOUND THOSE INTERESTING AND POSSIBLY FOUND A NEW THING TO ADD TO YOUR LIST IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN/HEARD/READ BEFORE. Thanks anon for the ask!
Oh yeah and as extra I wanted to throw in my favorite song right now because IT'S REALLY PRETTY.
#sadist's answered asks#anime recs#movie recs#book recs#no longer human#hannibal#to your eternity#vanitas no carte#a silent voice#mo dao su zhi#phantom of the opera#last night in soho#tokyo ghoul#the vampire armand#sharp objects
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Hiya I know you're a safe space and I need to get this out, so sorry in advance 🙃.
I see how amazing canon bi buck is for the queer community and I don't mind how it happened in canon. But while I should be happy, I actually kind of feel like I'm mourning? I'm so attached to eddie, maybe unhealthily so, and the ensemble found family dynamic is what first brought me to the show. For a while it's been a struggle having the fandom basically shove buck into every spec or storyline and act like he is a perfect angel and the centre of the universe. But there was always the eddiezers and it was more balanced. But now literally EVERYBODY is all about buck and tommy. It feels like the rest of the show doesn't even exist. I know its only been a couple of days but going on social media now just makes me anxious and idk why really. I'm worried about future eddie storylines, I'm desperate for marisol to disappear, but the vibe is that now buck is bi nothing else matters, we've won apparently, who even cares about eddie or the other characters because buck kissed a man.
Also I'm sex-repulsed ace and people saying how if you don't like it you're a purist and an evangelical and homophobic and biphobic actually makes me feel like shit. I never really understood wanting two characters to have sex 'because why not', because I don't understand why anyone wants to ever lol. I can only read buddie smut in very specific scenarios and most of the time i skip even that. And the rhetoric in a lot of tumblr space recently makes me feel like a bad person for not being all for it 100%. I don't think I've explained myself well here but I tried. You don't have to reply or post this either, I just wanted to reach out to someone in fandom who won't jump down my throat for it 😅. 911 is kind of a hyperfixation of mine so even though I'm trying to stay away as much as possible so as to not make myself more upset but I have no idea what to do with myself otherwise 🫠. Thanks for reading and sorry for unloading on you
Please don’t apologize, im happy you felt like I was a safe space. Im gonna break this into two parts and I hope I can articulate myself correctly lol
1) the first few days after an episode, any episode but especially one like this, isn’t indicative of fandom as a whole. Emotions are heightened due to what happened in the episode. Everyone is screaming about something and it’s in your face ya know? This week something HUGE happened, so yes people are talking about it. It was to be expected. We must make space for people to be happy about it. It’s a beautiful thing and queer joy MUST be celebrated.
This show (for the most part) has done a beautiful job of giving each character their time to shine(some more so than others but thats a conversation for a different day). Coming off 7x04, yes the headline is Bi Buck. And it will continue to be for a while, but it’s important to remember that YOU curate your fandom experience. I don’t blame you at all for what you’re feeling, ESPECIALLY as an Eddie girlie(gn), like I get it! Trust me! I’ve had to carefully maneuver through some emotions this week myself. I’m human! But filtering and being able to step away is everything.
Being excited about the storyline and also hoping and wanting more from other storylines are two things that can be true at the same time. It’s not one or the other. Remember that.
2) im going to say this and just know the caps is because I am just passionate. I promise you, its yelling at you with love okay?
I know it is easier said than done, but don’t you EVER allow ANYONE on this fucking hellsite make you feel less than or that your asexuality is anything but 100% valid. YOU are valid, you hear me?
Okay. I had to make sure to say that first. Whew. Now. As for the fandom piece of it all, we have to remember that there levels to it. You are allowed to feel the way you feel about sex, BUT it’s also important to remember that sex positivity (and those who express it) is also a good and valid. If you feel like there are blogs that talk down to you, imply that YOU are homophobic or biphobic simply because YOU are not doing cartwheels about different sex acts, then block. Unfollow. Do whatever you need to. Those people are scum.
Listen to me *pulls you close*, this is always a safe space. You are a valid, your existence and experiences are valid. And anyone who makes you question that can fuck right off. And lastly, HAPPY ASEXUALITY DAY TO YOU SPECIFICALLY! MUAH! 💜🤍🩶🖤
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Honestly, thank you for calling out misinformation and how it actually does affect people in the fandom.
At first I found it mildly amusing and didn't think much of it aside from being slightly embarrassed that I'd believed some of it. What really disconcerted me were the "facts" that were so out there they essentially equated to "don't believe your lying eyes." And even now I feel bad for saying that because I can't always know if someone's acting in bad faith or if that's what they genuinely believe.
(Then there are things like that bit on the wiki that says Leon met Chris at a TerraSave event with a citation that doesn't mention said event in any way. I remember thinking "surely not" and reading the file about seven times before confirming that yes, somebody really did that.)
I know this sounds ridiculous, but I actually decided to leave Tumblr completely for a couple weeks just because it was genuinely getting to me and I needed to take a step back from the fandom to introspect and collect myself. I came to the conclusion that because I'd already been embarrassed by trusting what I thought were my fandom elders and the sheer amount of non-canon info being falsely circulated as canon, I was constantly on guard and conflicted. In any other fandom, upon seeing a take that went completely against my own, I would just keep scrolling and probably never think about it again, but with RE it was actually bothering me and making me question my own perception of the media as well as people's intentions. I don't like to assume that people are acting in bad faith (at least in this context, as opposed to just misunderstanding or having a different opinion), and that was causing turmoil in me until I took stock of my own emotions regarding the fandom as a whole.
Not that I was losing sleep over it or anything (I'm not super active or immersed in tumblr so it wasn't a big deal to log off for a while), but it definitely did suck a lot of enjoyment out of the experience for me and made me far more reluctant to engage with other fans.
Sorry that was so long and not really a question, but I just wanted to give my testimony that yes, these things do impact fandom experience in multiple ways.
Unfortunately, I think it's a combination of both things at play here, which is what makes it so insidious and difficult to uproot. There are people who genuinely believe that everything that was ever said in any piece of media by anyone who ever even tangentially worked on Resident Evil should be taken as hard canon fact (the Project Umbrella guys, I think, do legitimately feel this way).
There are also opportunists in this fandom who don't necessarily believe that every little thing is canon, but they've been holding some of those specific details as their personal headcanon for years (shoutout to the guy who told me "I know that Capcom has given Leon several different backstories over the years; I just like the mafia one the most.") and springboarded off of the true believers' narrative to help reinforce their own.
People in both categories are the kind of personality types to get hyper-invested in being the first to get the information out to a new audience and to laser focus on making sure that these details are reinforced every single day, sometimes multiple times a day. And since people who are new to fandoms are eager to suck up any obscure, fun trivia they can get their hands on, those new people flock to bad actors like this in droves.
By the time my old, tired ass gets around to hearing about any of it, the message has been spread so widely and been reinforced so many dozens (hundreds?) of times that new fans already have a concrete, cemented viewpoint on what the canon is/says, and they have no desire to hear someone try to tell them otherwise. After all, this is what literally everyone else is saying, so why should they listen to the one guy in the back going full oldmanyellsatcloud.jpeg? To them, I'm basically that crazy guy on the street corner screaming about how the Illuminati has been controlling the government and lying to you and we're all living in the Matrix and also Jesus is coming.
But the reality is that I'm Belle trying to convince the angry mob that the Beast isn't dangerous. It's an effort too little, and I got to them too late.
I'm really happy and grateful that my presence in fandom has helped even one person feel better about the bullshit that they've been peddled, but at the same time, it's really disheartening to see my posts max out at around 130 notes, when bad information and shoddy story analysis easily hits 300+ and sometimes even into the thousands. People just keep the cycle of misinformation going, like the shittiest Ouroboros this side of Albert Wesker's corpse.
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Bad Character = Bad Person?
Why is it that every time there’s a popular show, game, etc. there's always that one shit character that gets the most love and support, but when there is an actually character that's flawed and bettering themselves, you know actually supportive and doing good, 'fans' will just hate on them?
And I know that some people will say "oh you’re talking about this show." or "yeah it’s just like those fans from that one fandom".
No, I'm talking about almost ALL fandoms. A character that was obviously meant to be a villain is latched on by 'fans' and changed into a 'victim'. Worse, the creators will change everything about the character and change them to a victim of circumstances.
Like this character are either harassing the good guys or are just straight up evil.
So, when an actual victim looking for justice and peace, they get fucking branded and have hate blogs, fanart, and 'opinionated' people will wright saga lengths of random nonsense or just straight up lies about said character. Making it so you can't even see other people’s opinions, blocking other content making it virtually impossible to see or even find other content of other characters.
When I see the number of creeps writing the most insane arguments and excuses, and they’re not actual arguments when reading these 'explanations' on why it's okay for the bad characters are allowed to be evil are insane. It's the most narrow and parasocial shit I have ever read in my life.
My favorite excuse that is ALLWAYS used is 'They had a bad past', so? Literally everyone in any form of creative media has a bad past, the whole point of it is that their bad past doesn’t define who they are.
At least some of these 'fans' will just admit that they just find these character attractive, and it's bad enough that that's a good enough explanation on why they are willing to defend these awful characters versus others who will, like I said, latch on to these characters on a personal level for some god known reason.
I think it's still in my further post that I had an 'altercation'? (It wasn't even that, just some weirdo who noticed my tags versus everyone else’s. I think I was just the only one brave enough to say something.) Where the most odd and just random excuses on why the character I liked was branded a 'racist'. Even when the creator of said character had an entire side piece on why that character wasn't a bad person and how they believed in equality.
Reading that 'fans' excuse and then realizing that they probably never actually read the series, probably not even the main series, just answers and proves me right on how narrow and ignorant these people are.
And I'm never really happy when proving these 'fans' wrong. I put the words fans in quotations because an actual fan would admire and respect the show, respect other people’s opinions and accept when a character is flawed or evil. These 'fans', who are mostly full-grown adults which makes it much worse seeing most of them are fans of kids shows, willfully stay in their bubble of ignorance and excuses and thinks it's okay to blast other with opinions, bombard other forms of media so you can't see other fanarts and stores etc. Create hate blogs, pages and pages of comics of made-up lore victimizing bad characters.
Like why? At what point don't these people stop and realize this isn't being a fan. There will never be a good enough excuse or explanation on why they need to act like damn Cult members and not a fan.
I'm not surprised that again I'm seeing this kind of behavior, just angry not because my favorite character gets blasted. Nearly every character I like gets hate or is disliked because they aren't villains who turn themselves into victims. No at this point I'm fairly used to it (I mean I’m writing this billion word essay to get my frustration out so I'm not that used to it), no what I will never get used to is the hate and harassment that these freaks will send other people because their shit characters will get called out, just like their asshole behavior where they will send anonymous death threats and hate messages, and will try to also victimize themselves into why it's okay to harass other people.
Writing out that last sentence, realizing I just answered my own question. I guess it's easier to sympathize with a piece of shit, when you’re also a piece of shit.
#I am#really#like super really#angry#If theirs errors or incorrect words#I don't care#I am beyond upset#why does this keep happening#I answer my own question in the end#but that won't stop me from getting angry
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OH MY GOD HAVE YOU SEEN DICKINSON??? i loved it sooo much!!!! 😨😭😭💕 emisue made an actual crumbled piece of paper of my heart, i felt that relationship too closely and more so because of the actresses’ chemistry. like honestly i haven’t seen such a real and emotional media representation in a looong time and that needs to be well recognised! BUT YES the ivy references are SO obvious, it is for sure one of her greatest lgbt+ coded songs and a lot of straight swifties agree that the vibes are unquestionable!!! especially if you’ve watched that show too, like goddamn it just HITS (different) sksksk oh and i love watching fanvideos as well!
no need to apologise for rambling bestie!! i also do it and your replied put my fangirl shoes on lmao but to answer your questions; yes i’m excited about speak now tv because it’s another rerecording plus new content from the vault! though tbh i’m probably more excited about the rest. like i know for a fact 1989 and reputation are gonna bury me alive, i cannot even prepare myself for that. but i agree!!! mine is SO GOOD and it also has lgbt+ vibes imo! along with wonderland and cruel summer ofc, iykyk!! haha my faves from speak now are mine, better than revenge, last kiss, haunted and long live. so those are the ones i’m waiting for the most! ✨
ohh great, i’m a yntcd/me supporter too!! they don’t deserve the slander they get, i really don’t get it! i wish i had a vinyl player though… i’ve always loved vintage stuff and it’s a shame they’re so expensive, but i trust you 100% the sound coming from them must be something unparalleled. OMG wait you have tattoos!!! woah those look SO pretty, i’m obsessed! i’d say i’m more of a piercings girl but me and my gf have been discussing to get ourselves Seven tattoos, so that’s the one i’m wishing for (another great lgbt+ song if you ask me, also cowboy like me!) but my fave is rep, definitely another gay coded album if you just feel it that way… or i’m probably too gay for my own sake and i just like to queer code everything 🤦🏼♀️😂
alright this got unexpectedly long and i’m so sorry! please feel free to answer whenever you can and feel like to, no pressure here!! i just got too excited sharing these little things with you and getting ideas for a perfect gift! 💌😋 but i’ll see you soon, lots of love ! - 🌈
hiii hiii <33 sorry it took me some time to answer i had a crazy weekend and i was on vacation so i kind of stayed out of tumblr for most of it!
and yes ofc i’ve seen dickinson! i had like a whole dickinson era, i literally bought “open me carefully” but i haven’t even finished reading it because i’m having so much feels every time i’m opening this book but like. AHHHH how can people just say they were “best friends” or whatever? and i remember when i watched it and i was in my dickinson era i even started writing some draft about emisue + ivy. it’s actually not so popular tv show which kind of makes me sad because she’s soooo good! i didn’t got into the dickinson fandom actually but idk i haven’t seen many edits or headcanons. but ofc in ao3 there are great fics! and yes yes i agree with everything you had to say! the chemistry between the actress was so rare and it one of the best wlw representation we had in the recent years!
god i hope that in 1989 tv she’s gonna add a bonus track of style ft. harry styles because it’s been my dream since 2014 and i literally do not care about anything else. oh, and need (from the leaks) feels like a reputation tv vault to me?? like i feel it in the same vibe of ✨dress✨ but she couldn’t include both so she basically gave up on need for dress but i love dress so much as well so i’m like? i want to have both but. i don’t know if i’ll ever gonna get both, y’know? 😂
also yes now that you mention it rep has some gay vibes i haven’t noticed before!! like dress? getaway car?? gorgeous?? “only bought this dress so you could take it off”??? I MEAN HELLO also in a parallel universe it could be fitting for emisue! hmm maybe i will edit them with dress one day… we shall see….
and omg yeah seven tattoos could be so cool!!! and thank you i really love my tattoos <3 kind of funny to me how both of these songs I tattooed (ivy / august) talking about cheating and having illicit affair in a sense AMFHKFK but out of context i just really love the sentence of “to live for the hope of it all” idk how to explain it
can’t wait to hear from you again!! <3
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I feel as if many people, myself included, have been having problems with the way “critical thinking” is conducted in fandom circles more and more. Which I’d say is a good thing, because it means we’re thinking critically. But still the issues with the faux-critical mentality and with the way we consume media through that fandom group mentality are incredibly widespread at this point, despite being very flawed, and there are still plenty of people who follow it blindly, ironically.
I sort of felt like I had to examine my personal feelings on it and I ended up writing a whole novel, which I’ll put under the cut, and I do welcome other people’s voices in the matter, because while I’m being as nuanced as I can here I obviously am still writing from personal experience and may overlook some things from my limited perspective. But by and large I think I’ve dissected the phenomena as best I can from what I’ve been seeing going on in fandom circles from a safe but observable distance.
Right off the bat I want to say, I think it's incredibly good and necessary to be critical of media and understand when you should stop consuming it, but that line can be a bit circumstantial sometimes for different people. There are a lot of anime that I used to watch as a teenager that I can’t enjoy anymore, because I got more and more uncomfortable overtime with the sexualization of young characters, partly because as I was getting older I was really starting to realize how big of an issue it was, and I certainly think more critically now than I did when I was 14. Of course I don’t assume everyone who still watches certain series is a pedophile, and I do think there are plenty of fans that understand this. However I still stay away from those circles and that’s a personal choice.
I don’t think a person is morally superior based on where they draw the line and their own boundaries with this type of stuff, what’s more important is your understanding of the problem and response to it. There are series I watch that have a lot of the same issues around sexualization of the young characters in the cast, but they’re relatively toned down and I can still enjoy the aspects of the series I actually like without it feeling as uncomfortable and extreme. Others will not be able to, and their issues with it are legitimate and ones that I still ultimately agree with, but they’re still free to dislike the series for it, after all our stance on the issue itself is the same so why would I resent them for it?
Different people are bound to have different lines they draw for how far certain things can go in media before they’re uncomfortable watching it and it doesn’t make it a moral failing of the person who can put up with more if they’re still capable of understanding why it’s bad to begin with and able to not let it effect them. But I don’t think that sentiment necessarily contradicts the idea that some things really are too far gone for this to apply, the above examples aren’t the same thing as a series centered solely around lolicon ecchi and it doesn’t take a lot of deep analysis to understand why. It’s not about a personal line anymore when it comes to things that are outright propaganda or predatory with harmful ideals woven into the message of the story itself. Critical thinking means knowing the difference between these, and no one can hold your hand through it. And simply slapping “I’m critical of my interests” on your bio isn’t a get out of jail free card, it’s always evident when someone isn’t truly thinking about the impact of the media they consume through the way they consume it.
I think the issue is that when people apply “Critical thinking” they don’t actually analyze the story and its intent, messages, themes, morals, and all that. Instead they approach it completely diegetically, it’s basically the thermian argument, the issue stems from thinking about the story and characters as if they’re real people and judging their actions through that perspective, rather than something from a writer trying to deliver a narrative by using the story and characters as tools. Like how people get upset about characters behaving “problematically” without realizing that it’s an intentional aspect of the story, that the character needs to cause problems for there to be conflict. What they should be looking at instead is what their behavior represents in the real world.
You do not need to apply real-world morals to fictional characters, you need to apply them to the narrative. The story exists in the real world, the characters and events within it do not. Fictional murderers themselves do not hurt anyone, no one is actually dying at their hands, but their actions hold weight in the narrative which itself can harm real people. If the character only murders gay people then it reflects on whatever the themes and messages of the story are, and it’s a major issue if it's framed as if they’re morally justified, or as if this is a noble action. And it’s a huge red flag if people stan this character, even if the story itself actually presents their actions as reprehensible. Or cases where the murderers themselves are some kind of awful stereotype, like Buffalo Bill who presents a violent and dangerous stereotype of trans women, making the character a transmisogynistic caricature (Intentional or otherwise) that has caused a lot of harm to the perception of trans women. When people say “Fiction affects reality” this is what they mean. They do not mean “People will see a pretend bad guy and become bad” they mean “Ideals represented in fiction will be pulled from the real world and reflected back onto it.”
However, stories shouldn’t have to spoon-feed you the lesson as if you’re watching a children’s cartoon, stories often have nuances and you have to actively analyze the themes of it all to understand it’s core messages. Oftentimes it can be intentionally murky and hard to parse especially if the subject matter itself is complicated. But you can’t simply read things on the surface and think you understand everything about them, without understanding the symbolism or subtext you can leave a series like Revolutionary Girl Utena thinking the titular Utena is heterosexual and was only ever in love with her prince. Things won’t always be face-value or clear-cut and you will be forced to come to your own conclusions sometimes too.
That’s why the whole fandom-based groupthink mentality about “critical thinking” doesn’t work, because it’s not critical. It’s simply looking into the crowd, seeing people say a show is problematic, and then dropping it without truly understanding why. It’s performative, consuming the best media isn’t activism and it doesn’t make you a better person. Listening to the voices of people whom the issues directly concerns will help you form an opinion, and to understand the issues from a more knowledgeable perspective beyond your own. All that means nothing if you just sweep it under the rug because you want to look infallible in your morality. That’s not being critical, it’s just being scared to analyze yourself, as well as what you engage with. You just don’t want to think about those things and you’re afraid of being less than perfect so you pretend it never happened.
And though I’m making this post, it’s not mine or anyone else’s job to hold your hand through all this and tell you “Oh this show is okay, but this show isn't, and this book is bad etc etc etc”. Because you actually have to think for yourself, you know, critically. Examples I’ve listed aren’t rules of thumb, they’re just examples and things will vary depending on the story and circumstance. You have to look at shit on a case-by-case basis instead of relying on spotting tropes without thinking about how they’re implemented and what they mean. That’s why it’s analysis, you have to use it to understand what the narrative is communicating to its audience, explicitly or implicitly, intentionally or incidentally, and understand how this reflects the real world and what kind of impact it can have on it.
A big problem with fandom is it has made interests synonymous with personality traits, as if every series we consume is a core part of our being, and everything we see in it reflects our viewpoints as well. So when people are told that a show they watched is problematic, they react very extremely, because they see it as basically the same thing as saying they themselves are problematic (It’s not). Everyone sees themselves as good people, they don’t want to be bad people, so this scares them and they either start hiding any evidence that they ever liked it, or they double down and start defending it despite all its flaws, often providing those aforementioned thermian arguments (“She dresses that way because of her powers!”).
That’s how you get people who call children’s cartoons “irredeemable media” and people who plaster “fiction=/= reality!” all over their blogs, both are basically trying to save face either by denying that they could ever consume anything problematic or denying that the problematic aspects exist all together. And absolutely no one is actually addressing the core issues anymore, save for those affected by them who pointed them out to begin with, only for their original point to become muffled in the discourse. No one is thinking critically because they’re more concerned with us-vs-them group mentality, both sides try to out-perform the other while the actual issue gets ignored or is used as nothing more than a gacha with no true understanding or sympathy behind it.
One of the other issues that comes from this is the fact that pretty much everyone thinks they’re the only person capable of being critical of their interests. That’s how you get those interactions where one person goes “OK [Media] fan” and another person replies “Bro you literally like [Other Media]”, because both parties think they’re the only ones capable of consuming a problematic piece of media and not becoming problematic themselves, anyone else who enjoys it is clearly incapable of being as big brained as them. It’s understandable because we know ourselves and trust ourselves more than strangers, and I’m not saying there can’t be certain fandoms who’s fans you don’t wanna interact with, but when we presume that we know better than everyone else we stop listening to other people all together. It’s good to trust your own judgement, it’s bad to assume no one else has the capacity to think for themselves either though.
The insistence that all media that you personally like is without moral failing and completely pure comes with the belief that all media that you personally dislike has to be morally bad in some way. As if you can’t just dislike a series because you find it annoying or it just doesn’t appeal to you, it has to be problematic, and you have to justify your dislike of it through that perspective. You have to believe that your view on whatever media it is is the objectively correct one, so you’ll likely pick apart all it’s flaws to prove you’re on the right side, but there’s no analysis of context or intent. Keep in mind this doesn’t necessarily mean those critiques are unfounded or invalid, but in cases like this they’re often skewed in one direction based on personal opinion. It’s just as flawed as ignoring all the faults in the stuff you like, it’s biased and subjective analysis that misses a lot of context in both cases, it’s not a good mindset to have about consuming media. It’s just another result of tying media consumption with identity and personal morals. The faux-critical mentality is an attempt to separate the two in a way that implies they’re a packaged deal to begin with, making it sort of impossible to truly do so in any meaningful way.
As far as I know this whole phenomena started with “Steven Universe Critical” in, like, 2016, and that’s where this mentality around “critical thinking” originated. It started out with just a few people correctly pointing out very legitimate issues with the series, but over time it grew into just a trend where people would make cutesy kin blogs with urls like critical-[character] or [character]crit to go with the fad as it divulged into Nostalgia Critic level critique. Of course there was backlash to this and criticism of the criticism, but no actual conversation to be had. Just people trying to out-do each other by acting as the most virtuous one in the room, and soon enough the fad became a huge echo-chamber that encouraged more and more outrageous takes for every little thing. The series itself was a children’s cartoon so it stands to reason that a lot of the fans were young teens, so this behavior isn’t too surprising and I do believe a lot of them did think they were doing the right thing, especially since it was encouraged. But that doesn’t erase the fact that there were actual real issues and concerns brought up about the series that got treated with very little sympathy and were instead drowning out people’s voices. Though those from a few years back may have grown up since and know better (Hopefully), the mentality stuck around and influenced the norm for how fandoms and fandom people conduct any sort of critique on media.
That’s a shame to me, because the pedestal people place fandom onto has completely disrupted our perception on how to engage with media in a normal way. Not everything should be consumed with fandom in mind, not everything is a coffee-shop au with no conflict, not everything is a children’s cartoon with the morals spoon-fed to you. Fandom has grown past the years of uncritical praise of a series, it’s much more mainstream now with a lot more voices in it beyond your small community on some forum, and people are allowed to use those voices. Just because it may not be as pleasant for you now because you don’t get to just turn your brain off and ignore all the flaws doesn’t mean you can put on your rose-tinted nostalgia goggles and pretend that fandom is actually all that is good in the world, to the point where you place it above the comfort and safety of others (Oftentimes children). Being uncritical of fandom itself is just as bad as being uncritical of what you consume to begin with.
At the end of the day it all just boils down to the ability to truly think for yourself but with sympathy and compassion for other people in mind, while also understanding that not everyone will come to the same conclusion as you and people are allowed to resent your interests. That doesn’t necessarily mean they hate you personally, you should be acknowledging the same issues after all. You can’t ignore aspects of it that aren’t convenient to your conclusion, you have to actually be critical and understand the issues to be able to form it.
I think that all we need is to not rely on fandom to tell us what to do, but still listen to the voices of others, take them into account to form our opinion too, boost their voices instead of drowning them out in the minutiae of internet discourse about which character is too much of an asshole to like. Think about what the characters and story represent non-diegetically instead of treating them like real people and events, rather a story with an intent and message to share through its story and characters, and whatever those reflect from the real world. That’s how fiction affects reality, because it exists in reality and reflects reality through its own lens. The story itself is real, with a real impact on you and many others, so think about the impact and why it all matters. Just… Think. Listen to others but think for yourself, that’s all.
#see i told you guys id find that essay and post it for real. i wasnt kidding.#good luck inbox of mine :praying:
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COMPLETELY FORGOT TO DO THIS OMG, tagged by @bi-demon-ium HI GREBO!!! HI HI HI
rules: tag game! tag people and have them tell you your top ten favorite characters of all time (doesn’t have to be in order).
i loooove rambling i will ramble about each of these btw ❤ i am my own enabler (and procrastinating hw rn ahahaha...ha...h)
Will Byers (stranger things) - i LOVE will SO MUCH!!!! i love him soo so much he is my sweet can of peach preserves i want to swing him around like a ferret literally obsessed with him rn. everything about him makes me want to scream and cry and throw up every day im so thankful will exists nobody gets him like me. honorable mentions el who is practically one unit with will so i can legally put her on the same bullet point, and also all the other st characters who im also obsessed with who are not getting their own bulletpoints but i still want to acknowledge them bc i love them.... soo much.......
MAGNUS BANE (shadowhunters tv) - *long drawn out scream* tbh hes probably the first character i was like, really and truly obsessed with, like honestly magnus bane kicked off an Era for me regarding my derangement and how i participate in fandom. magnus bane was the catalyst of a whole gender awakening for me. magnus bane is my everything. i love him and his husband. yeag
Phoenix Wright (ace attorney) - OBSESSED WITH HIS PATHETIC BISEXUAL SWAG no further commentary needed. honorable ace attorney mentions go to maya fey and klavier even tho i have not gotten to him in game yet. i know imgonna love him when i do go back to playing aa4 so he counts
Bart Curlish (dirk gentlys holistic detective agency tv 2016) - THE MOST WOMAN EVER!!!!!!!! the peak of grimy murder women. they peaked with her here. we need more women like bart
Farah Black (dirk gentlys) - OUGH couldnt resist putting farah in here too bc shes also SUCH a woman i love everything about her she is perfect. honorable dghda mentions goes to tina and amanda and dirk and every other character in this show. shakes them up and down puts them all into the pear wiggler even
Diego Hargreeves (umbrella academy) - i love insane men with sharp objects and insane morals
Constance Contraire (the mysterious benedict society tv) - i love insane little girls who have plotted murders canonically on screen and have insane familial relationships
Ben Hargreeves (umbrella academy) - wait ok sorry to double dip again but i cant believe i forgot how obsessed with ben i was?? i spent literally 3 years blogging about him and drawing almost exclusively him?? i even created a crackship with him to torment my best friends with??? ben i am so sorry. how could i have forgotten. i love ghosts who are younger brothers who are big bitches
lowkey cannot even think of anyone else lmao. im gonna say Megamind from the movie Megamind bc i love that movie and i love him. me when autistic blue men from space <3
i genuinely cannot think of anyone else i only rlly started having Favorite Characters around age 10-11 but all of the guys i liked from then i dont care much about anymore so i wouldnt say theyre All Time Favorites. and since then i have been majorly into only like 5-6 pieces of media where i had True Blorbos, Personality Shaping Characters, so like. that might be it? im probably just blanking im sure ill think of a few more characters i love after i hit post on this but ehhhh whatever live laugh love <3
edit: TOOTHLESS HOWTOTRAINYOURDRAGON. HOW COULD I FORGET YOU
okkkk thats it i guess !! i love being so so normal about fictional character just me and my blorbos having a normal sane time
no pressure to do this but tagging @tmoblrina @toadstoolillustrations @urlocallesbiab @jonathansbowlcut annnnd my wifi just went out! so no one else <3 peace on earth
#tag game#TY FOR TAGGING ME IN THIS GERT I LVOE U THIS WAS FUN !!!#no one is allowed to judge me for my taste in characters btw i promise i have coolsexyawesomer ones i just CANT THINK OF THEM RN!!!!#but also some of these are SO coolsexyawesome already i promise. take my hand
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Thank you to @broughtmeyourlove for listening to the beginnings of this (aka when I first got my thoughts down) and thank you to me for saying all this in the shower but most importantly thank you @hannibalhadalittlelamb whose art got me to finally think deeper about the nature of Hannibal’s trial. Let’s begin.
Hannibal’s trial isn’t something I usually see discussed within the fandom space. And why would it be? We know the final verdict and we know that besides that everything works out in the end anyway. It’s an afterthought. So who would care? That’s like reading the first few chapters of a book to skip to the final one. Characters change and so does the story as a whole.
On @/hannibalhadalittlelamb’s post (here), their tags read that their depiction of Hannibal is leaning into OOC (out of character) territory. I disagree.
During Hannibal’s trial, we have to think about how it would have gone down. Actually. There was no possible way for Will to miss or be exempt from this trial. His coworkers and boss knew his strong relation to Hannibal and how their professional relationship had definitely, at some point or another, turned personal. The mutual attempts of murder had not been lost on anyone, but, of course, that made Will all the more personal a witness.
However, Will wants nothing to do with Hannibal.
I understand there is a popular theory going around that Will and Hannibal were in a sort of understanding during the trial, but, honestly? We see Will desperately wanting to remain kept away from Hannibal, to live a normal life with a wife and son. Hannibal throws a wrench into this whole ordeal and this trial, after what conspired between them overseas, leaves Will in the headspace and with the opportunity to quite literally never see Hannibal again in his life.
And after everything and with what Will thinks he wants, how could he deny that? Helping Hannibal rule into the insanity plea was not an act of mercy but an act of protection. Will more than anyone knows Hannibal should be kept under 24/7 surveillance and away from every person he could ever harm. Being ruled out of given the death penalty was the underlying bonus his conscience wouldn’t let him think too deeply about.
In court, you are sworn in on the bible, on God, to tell “the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth [...] So help you God.”. Both Will and Hannibal were undoubtedly sworn in, but considering the argument Hannibal’s legal team was using, would you trust a man under the insanity plea or his victim who is an FBI agent more? Right.
So, Will is given free rein in this courtroom to spin the story of him and Hannibal whichever way he pleases. Seeing what I mentioned before, Will is going to remove himself as far away from Hannibal as he can while still being able to confidentially and securely reveal everything without getting his hands dirty nor embarrassing himself. Hannibal does not get this luxury.
Hannibal is a man of his privacy. As many analyses have written and as many real psychologists have said while dissecting the headspace of Hannibal, his need to eat people is his need to control. The trauma Hannibal went through with Mischa, whether you know the depth of it or just the surface, is enough context to explain what happens next. Hannibal eats them. Attitude is Hannibal’s one basis of morals and consensus. “One should always eat the rude”.
To determine their fate and to consume them is him “playing God”, but at its core, it is Hannibal needing to be in control. We see the severity of his true, underlying, desperation come to light at a first glimpse with the gruesome death of Beverly Katz. Undoubtedly, this is one of his most haunting scenes and we see the insides(dissection) of Beverly as she had attempted to find in Hannibal by going through his home. By sneaking a glance under the person suit. His inner monster comes out in a rage during this murder. He is private and anything that anyone knows about Hannibal is what he has allowed them to live to be able to say so. Look at Will’s position once more.
What no one seems to realize is that, during this trial, Hannibal is not in control. Will is the spinster of their life, a life Hannibal used his truest of colors to paint, and ultimately watched it becomes torn to shreds in front of him. Remember, Will is sworn in during this trial. This does not necessarily mean he is telling the truth, but it means everyone thinks he is. It’s a play of tragedy and Hannibal and Will are the two lead star-crossed lovers.
The entirely of Hannibal and the world he has handed to Will on a sparkling platter is being dissected and shown to everyone. The story of the Chesapeake Ripper was undoubtedly massive. A criminal having not been caught for years that everyone seemed to know nothing about revealed to be one of the closest, inside links with the FBI themselves? Tale of the decade.
The spotlight is on Hannibal, but he is being puppeteered by Will without a say in it for himself.
Hannibal cracks as he’s poked and prodded and bare for the media to do as they like and Will sits by and says what he likes. Here is where we would see a sliver of what lays beneath their person suits. Hannibal’s impulsivity and monstrousness under his charming exterior and Will’s manipulative, isolatedness under his empathetic cloak.
We look at Hannibal. He would be torn to shreds from this. The porcelain pot that contains his beast has broken and shattered by the swatting hand of Will, someone he trusted and loved. The intruding eyes of the jury stay on him as he is diagnosed as insane while he considers himself to be in the best possible headspace he ever could be. Everything he told Will and what he considered truth from Will’s mouth was dismissed and disputed under oath.
Hannibal is embarrassed. People call him insane and lock him away at dig through his mind and his things without his permission with protruding needles and telescopes. Hannibal has to play nice to simply be allowed a working toilet and the books that he has collected himself. Anything and everything he writes and draws that he wants to send out is dissected and analyzed. He has no privacy. He is not allowed a toe out of line.
Looking back at Hannibal from season one, episode seven is a good one to compare from, and when we see him first after year years in isolation, we see plain as day these are not the same men. In season one, Hannibal is handsome and cunning enough so that he wiggles his way into the deepest, most protected parts of the FBI as one of the highest-ranked killers on their watch list. He is polite enough to even invite them to dinner and feed them the organs of his victims.
He’s slick and intelligent and Hannibal is the idea of a lifetime.
And then we come to the second half of season three.
Hannibal, at this point, has been isolated for three years and has been under painful scrutiny even longer. During this time, he’s had all the space he could get to rebuild the person suit, but the pieces won’t fit. It’s jaggedly put together and no matter how long he spends trying to perfect its construction to what it used to be, it isn’t what it used to be. Will had done that to him. Will had effectively broken Hannibal.
I see often the running gag that season three is immensely funnier and leaning much more into the comedy aspect of Hannibal during his interactions with Will and Alana and even jack to an extent. But this is not him being funny; this is Hannibal pushing limits.
Looking back to paragraph eleven [“To determine their fate and consume them…”] we come back to Hannibal’s need to control. Remember, in this space, Hannibal is shoved into line. He’s snappy and cynical here. This is Hannibal exercising his limits and testing patience. His acting out and making snide comments is nothing he can be punished for, but it clearly agitates them. Hannibal teeters just enough on the edge of annoyance so that his jabs still hit, but his privileges still remain.
This is his monster leaking through the cracks. Hannibal is desperate. He is grasping for a hold over these people he had looked down upon from his throne in the sky as God for so long. He is rude. This is both his shield and deception. It leaves Hannibal with the idea that he is effectively feeding them out of his hand, that he has them right where he wants them. When Hannibal does this, it is his last line of defense to keep himself from blowing up. Ruining it all.
Season three is not season one. He is gasping and hurt and that is what makes the Dolarhyde kill all the more powerful. The whiplash and bounce back with his and Will’s relationship is powerful and dangerous.
Will watching Hannibal with his dead stare, person suit thrown off the moment he decided to go with Hannibal into that car, as he is shot is groundbreaking. Hannibal can see Will. they have effectively switched positions. As though he were God, Will looks down on Hannibal’s suffering. When Will decides to fight Dolarhyde in retaliation, this is the point it all cuts lose.
At that moment, Will has freed the beast. Hannibal has finally someone to take the reins of his monster whom he trusts. Because Hannibal never blamed Will, even during that time in his isolation, he was waiting. Waiting for Will because despite the betrayal and despite the hurt he loved him. All that time he loved him.
The Dolarhyde kill is the messiest one of the show, which makes it all the more powerful. Hannibal has--I don’t want to say “lost composure”--but he definitely has dropped the act of his togetherness. In this, Hannibal is free. So long he has spent trying to hold himself together, to fool those around him and take care of everyone and himself.
It’s a common misconception that a person in a position of power, such as a CEO, would want to be in this position all of the time. In fact, it’s been shown that the human mind needs a healthy balance. A person who is pushed around on a day-to-day basis and has no control over their life would most likely enjoy having control over a person and vice versa.
God must be tired. Hannibal was. Wearing his person suit for years and years, with only a dangerous outlet to relieve the built-up tension of his monster. To place the control into Will’s hands is inevitable and the best relief for both of them. Hannibal in killing and Will in power.
In that final scene, Hannibal has surrendered control to Will while barring the entirety of what lay within and Will has a high enough apathy for this to no longer have any hold over him. They have switched their roles. Now, Will is the one pulling the strings and Hannibal is the one letting himself be maneuvered.
This trial was the turn of the tables. It was the biggest part of their character and the biggest foreshadowing for the finale.
In Florence, Hannibal has the hold over Will. In season two, Will has the hold over Hannibal. In season one, Hannibal has the hold over Will. This trial that has been left out was the missing piece to even their stance and to level their playing field, making it easiest for the two to blur.
The trial is effectively and consequently one of if not the most important scene that was missing from the show.
#takes a deep breath of relief#working on this all day in bits and pieces#hannibal nbc#text#hannibal lecter#this is 2k words long have fun yall i did not reread this#gro.dy
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what do you think of aang's comments in "the southern raiders" and what they meant to katara? I watched that episode recently with my sister who dislikes atla, and assessed similar things to what certain people of the fandom are saying: "aang didn't understand her", "aang was pushing his beliefs onto her", "it didn't seem like he knew her", etc. she was more fair than those people of course because she did say it was realistic that he'd be so worried since she recognizes that he does love her.
Honestly those arguments are all,, tired. They’re outdated. They’re boring. They’re wrong. They’re a result of a fundamental misunderstanding of A:TLA canon. This isn’t to say that those who genuinely, truly believe these arguments are terrible people (obviously not lmao), but somewhere along the line they had a seed planted in their mind that posits them to have inherent dislike for Aang. And honestly? I just feel sorry for them, because not understanding and appreciating Aang means their A:TLA experience really can’t be that great. But I digress!
“aang didn’t understand her”
Oh, what’s the post? Right - “Fandom once again forgets that Aang is the sole survivor of genocide.” Aang understands better than anyone else what Katara is going through*. There is a direct parallel between Aang finding Gyatso’s skeleton and Katara finding Kya’s body. I’m not going to sit here and argue which was more traumatizing (literally can’t stand when people do that) because you can’t quantify grief like that, but it cannot be denied that Aang has experienced something incredibly similar to what Katara has gone through: the loss of a close parental figure followed by finding said parent’s corpse. Not only that, but Aang and Katara both share a unique sense of helplessness intertwined with their grief regarding their parental figures’ deaths. For Katara, there are the questions of:
- what if I wasn’t a waterbender
- what if I had run a little faster
- what if I had fought against Yon Rha back then
All leading to “Could I have saved her?” For Aang, there are the questions of:
- what if I wasn’t the Avatar
- what if I hadn’t run away
- what if I had stayed to fight the Fire Nation back then
All leading to “Could I have saved him?” Both of them feel incredibly guilty on a personal level about the death of their parental figures, thus blaming themselves. Katara tries to push it off onto Zuko/the Fire Nation and Aang tries to suppress it entirely, but ultimately it is revealed how closely they hold responsibility to their chests. For Aang, it comes out in “The Storm.” For Katara, it comes out in “The Southern Raiders.” So, bullshit that Aang doesn’t understand Katara! He understands her grief better than anyone.
Also, many, many people have gone into this before, but Aang’s example of Appa being stolen was not callous/rude/etc. Appa was the last living piece of his culture. Appa is not “just a pet.” People who insist so are the actual ones being callous, not Aang. And, as Aang himself says, “How do you think I felt about the Fire Nation when I found out what happened to my people?” Aang has experienced more hurt at the hands of the Fire Nation than anyone. There’s a great meta here that delves into Aang’s experiences as the sole survivor of genocide. I don’t understand how someone could acknowledge all that Aang has lost (read: he has lost everything) and then argue that he doesn’t understand Katara’s pain. Like, what? Do you have no sense of empathy?
But most importantly, from Katara herself: “Thanks for understanding, Aang.” She says this after her initial dismissal of him. So take it from the source, my friend - Katara believed Aang understood her. Who are we to argue?
*The only exception perhaps being Sokka, since Kya was indeed his mother, too, but it is worth noting that Sokka did not have the same experience of seeing Kya’s dead body or feeling the intense self-blame that Katara did.
“aang was pushing his beliefs onto her”
It is SO funny how those SAME people have NO problem with everyone in the Gaang telling Aang to kill Ozai the finale! Y’know, when they were disregarding the pacifistic beliefs of his people in exchange for emphasizing their, ahem, more aggressive ones? SO funny! I’m laughing SO hard right now!
Heavy sarcasm, in case it wasn’t obvious. They’re hypocrites and they know it.
But, more importantly, Aang was not pushing his beliefs onto her? At all?? Tell me where in the episode Aang:
- refused to let Katara go after Yon Rha
- told Katara what she was doing was wrong
- told Katara that HE was right and that SHE needed to listen to HIM
Here’s the thing: none of that ever happened! Not only does Aang accept that Katara needs to go (see: “I wasn’t planning to [stop you]. This is a journey you need to take. You need to face this man.”), but he allows her to take Appa on her journey. Appa, the last living piece of his culture. Aang has incredible trust in Katara, and his choice to send Appa with her (essentially sending a piece of himself with her) demonstrates this fact clearly. That should end the discussion point blank, but I guess I’ll break down the lines people seem to have issues with:
1) “It’s okay, because I forgive you. [Pauses.] That give you any ideas?”
Honestly, the criticism this line gets is laughable to me. People use it to argue that Aang was being disrespectful to Katara’s feelings and?? I hate to break it to them, but you HAVE to look at the context a line is in if you’re going to judge it. That is Analysis 101: Context is Everything. This moment is used to break tension. That type of scenario is an entire literary trope, okay? A:TLA did not invent it! Shakespeare literally did it in Romeo and Juliet when he had Peter argue with musicians about something stupid after Juliet’s “death.” The whole point is to break tension before more serious scenes. In R&J, it is before the lovers kill themselves, and in A:TLA, it is before Katara leaves with Zuko to confront Yon Rha. That’s why there’s another moment just like it at the end of that scene! Y’know, Sokka asking to borrow Momo for no reason? It breaks tension! It’s a moment of respite before weighty scenes! It’s incredibly common in every form of media! This is what no Humanities classes did to some of y’all, I swear to God. So yeah, Aang was not disrespecting Katara’s feelings with this. It’s just a tension-breaker. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news for those who devoutly believed it was a sign of Aang being a Horrible Person. You were wrong, ain’t no big thing, go drink some water and stay hydrated okay darlings?
2) “I don’t think so. I think it’s about getting revenge.”
Um, a major point of “The Southern Raiders” is that Aang was right about Katara’s initial drive to face Yon Rha? It was a quest for revenge? Katara literally bloodbends, an ability she was forced to learn and essentially feels cursed to bear? Also, nowhere here does Aang tell Katara she was a horrible person for feeling angry and wanting revenge. He simply brings her attention to the reality that what she’s currently seeking is revenge. He’s worried about her. She’s his best friend! He loves her! He doesn’t want her to kill Yon Rha because he knows that for Katara to have blood on her hands from a revenge quest would hurt her tremendously. (As a matter of fact, the audience knows - or should know - this, too.) So, sorry that Aang expresses concern for her? Apparently not wanting your best friend to murder someone is forcing your beliefs onto them? Damn. Y’all are harsh these days.
3) “The monks used to say that revenge is like a two-headed rat viper. While you watch your enemy go down, you’re being poisoned yourself.” // ���Katara, you do have a choice: forgiveness.” // “No, it’s not. It's easy to do nothing, but it’s hard to forgive.” // “But when you do, please don’t choose revenge. Let your anger out, and then let it go. Forgive him.”
I put all the forgiveness quotes together since people tend to complain about them as a whole. But like,, I really don’t see how this is Aang forcing his beliefs onto her? He asks her to choose forgiveness. And just speaking plainly: on an emotional level, it is better for someone to forgive than to murder. Killing someone is not easy, even if you hate that person with every bone in your body, and it will mentally scar whomever does it. Y’all know this! It’s obvious! I shouldn’t have to say it! But Aang knows this, too, and thus he doesn’t want to see Katara kill Yon Rha and perhaps kill a part of herself in the process. Katara is not a killer. I’m not arguing about whether she could have or even if she wanted to, because you know what, she admits she was tempted, but Katara is not a killer. An FMA quote is very fitting here:
“Your hands weren’t meant to kill. They were meant to give life.”
Why should Katara have to live with a man’s murder on her conscience, especially when his death would be a result of fruitless revenge? The answer is simple: she shouldn’t, and Aang doesn’t want her to. Katara is a warrior. A healer. A leader. A friend. But not a killer.
Anyways. Back to my point: Aang is not forcing his beliefs onto her here. He’s offering her another option, the option she ends up choosing, albeit she extends forgiveness to Zuko instead. And Prince Holier-Than-Thou (jk love you Zuzu) acknowledges it himself: “You [Aang] were right about what Katara needed.” Aang didn’t force anything on Katara here. He reminded her of her choices, he reminded her about the consequences of revenge, and he reminded her about the value of forgiveness. Never once did he tell her she had to forgive Yon Rha or else. And when it came down to it, he stepped aside, and he let her go, because he knew this was a journey she needed to take. So… He actually did the exact opposite of forcing his beliefs onto her! He respected her feelings and let her make her own decision! Seriously, how many pairs of anti-Aang goggles do people have to wear to genuinely believe otherwise??
“it didn't seem like he knew her”
Ohhhhhh my God this is SO close to one of the actual points of the episode! So close!! It’s not that Aang didn’t know her; it’s that Katara wasn’t acting like herself. I’ve talked about it before here and here, but Katara was incredibly consumed by her emotions in “The Southern Raiders.” It’s why she ignores Zuko the entire time before they leave on Appa! It’s why she makes that callous comment to Sokka about their mother that we know she never would have made normally! She is drowning in grief about her mother’s absence, guilt regarding her mother’s death, and anger about Zuko (she still does not trust him, and yet he can lead her to her mother’s killer; I don’t know about y’all, but that is really freaking difficult to reconcile). So when Aang compares her to Jet, it’s not a far-off description. She is acting like Jet, because she’s consumed by grief and hurt and anger and she’s not acting like herself. It is instrumental, too, that Katara isn’t acting like herself, because it makes her decision not to pursue revenge and instead offer a second third chance to Zuko even more profound. “I’m proud of you,” Aang tells her, and damn! The audience is, too! I was incredibly proud of her for finding her way out of what can be a bottomless spiral for some people. So again, it wasn’t that Aang didn’t know her. It was that Katara wasn’t acting like herself (I guess meaning… no one knew her?).
In conclusion, literally all of these anti-Aang arguments regarding TSR are exhausting and so easily disprovable. The fact that they somehow manage to live on is evidence that people just want excuses to hate Aang, plain and simple. Like, it’s so easy to just say you don’t vibe with his character? You don’t have to pull BS excuses to “justify” it? I don’t vibe with Ty Lee as much as I do other characters (although I have recently grown much more fond of her; bless the Renaissance for more Mailee content, even if some of it is just a Zukka byproduct), but y’all don’t see me twisting her sacrifice in “Boiling Rock” to make it seem like it was selfish or something (mostly because, spoiler alert, it wasn’t). Like, you can say Aang isn’t your favorite and move on instead of using the same boring rhetoric over and over and over that just makes it look like you lack critical thinking. :/
TL;DR - Aang’s comments to Katara in “The Southern Raiders” came from a place of concern. A place of wisdom. A place of love. And honestly? I think Katara realizes this, and she’s grateful to him all the more for it.
#if y'all even mention zuko on this post i will stomp you to death with my hooves. this is not about who understood katara better!!#this is solely addressing bs anti aang arguments#aang#katara#atla#avatar the last airbender#adding line break after i post btw!!#atla meta#atla analysis#the southern raiders#yon rha#amy answers#amy analyzes#queenaleesbiggestfan-writes
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.... any succession fic recs? 👀
Yes!! I haven't read a lot for it yet, but some of the stuff I've read has been staggeringly good. I'm generally more into gen fic in this particular fandom, but have enjoyed some Stewy x Kendall, Gerri x Roman and Naomi x Tabitha too.
A few recs under the cut!
“I wanted to get out. From under all this. Take the money and run.”
Kendall tells Stewy even though he knows he’ll never get it, not like Naomi does. He’ll never understand the crush of it, the heart-stopping head-fucking fear of failing a tyrant. Kendall’s been ignoring the shape of it for a long time, putting pieces of it together in the back of his mind in total darkness like a blindfolded man. It doesn’t matter that one day his dad will die. It doesn’t matter about the money or the hostile takeover or the stolen files or any of it. There’s no running. Kendall’s Logan Roy lives inside his head.
Stewy laughs. Stewy laughs for a long time.
“There is no out, Ken, what the fuck are you talking about? You were born this and you’ll die this. You are what you are, and what you are is a fucking Roy.”
Kendall hates him, for a moment. Lightning-strike furious. What the fuck does he know about any of it, about his dad’s swinging dinner plate-sized hands, about getting 24% name recognition in reliable international polling, about puking every time you think about a car swerving off the road in the rain. About finding out that you can do something unthinkably, unimaginably terrible, and it doesn’t matter to anyone you know but you. There’s a scar on his arm that no one else who hasn’t already been told how it got there can ever know about, and he’s sick of it, and it’s not fair. He hates Stewy for a moment because Stewy’s right.
“I wanted to do the right thing, Stewy, for once in my fucking life.”
Stewy laughs again, more briefly, and the predator flash of his eyes in the neon of the motel sign is a torture all its own.
‘There is no right and wrong, Ken. How the fuck do you not know that yet? Not for people like you. Like us. There’s shit you get caught doing and there’s shit you don’t.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about. You really, really fucking don’t,” says Ken, and fuck, there it is. The road less travelled, that only he has ever driven on. The path he’s down where Stewy can’t follow. That place beyond Stewy Hosseini where he never thought he could go.
“You’re not telling me something, and when I find out what that is, and I will find out what it is, Kendall, don’t you think I won’t, so I am warning you that when I do find out I am going to be righteously fucking pissed,” says Stewy, and if Kendall thought those were a predator’s eyes before—
“Yeah, you will,” says Kendall, because he knows exactly how perceptive Stewy is. Exactly how weak he is. Exactly, precisely what both of them are.
And treat this night like it’ll happen again by postcardmystery. 8k words. Kendall x Stewy. Post s2. (CW: internalised homophobia, some homophobic language)
I tried to pick a shorter excerpt, but I literally couldn’t, this fic is so. good. The voices are pitch perfect, and it’s got this incredible build to it overall that goes back and forth between time and point of views and just rips your heart out. The premise itself is pretty simple – after the press conference at the end of 2.10, Kendall calls Stewy, and they drive through rural America while Kendall has a breakdown, and it’s just - - unspeakably good. I love it so so so much, I have no words.
r/roysucks Connor’s gf just posted on Instagram (instagram.com) submitted two months ago by webbedscrum_2279 23 comments share save hide report
[–] DM_ME_SAMESMAIL 40 points two months ago I too like to escape to my yacht in the Mediterranean when my family and I are on trial for covering up rape and murder. permalink embed save report reply
AITA for accusing my father of multiple crimes on his own news station? By amleth 3k words. Gen fic. Post s2.
And now for something completely different – epistolary fic which is just reddit news threads of the Roy family drama. I love an epistolary fic and this is just totally charming, and made me laugh a lot out loud.
“You’re quiet,” she observes. “That’s a first.”
“Yeah, well, the Turks beat it out of me. Gave you a run for their money.” He waggles his eyebrows. “So what is this? Whips and chains? Are we doing the whole boat-sex thing? I heard Shiv and Tom are looking for a third —“
Gerri finds what she’s looking for: a black leather binder. She drops it on the bed and begins paging through it, and Roman cranes his neck enough to recognize that it’s just full of documents, not like, dick pics. “I’ve given some thought to what you proposed a few weeks ago, and I agree that we should make things official in some way,” she says, and he blinks.
“Uh,” he says. “Which — what part of it?”
“Take a look.”
Gerri closes the folio and hands it over. It’s deceptively heavy, and the print on these pages is way too fucking fine, he thinks, paging through it. “Is this some kind of, like, Fifty Shades of Roy sex contract? Because it’s not that I’m not into it, but I think there’s a strong argument for going paperless —”
“Strictly speaking, this isn’t legally binding,” Gerri says. “Just something I threw together with regard to our business arrangement going forward. But with no respect to the family — the past few weeks have really illustrated that no one should take anyone at their word right now. Give me a little more than your word.”
Evacuation strategies for a yacht on fire by devourthemoon. 11k words. Gerri x Roman. Post s2. Explicit.
After the events of s2, Roman and Gerri fake being married as a professional alliance, only, y’know, maybe it’s not so fake. This fic is just so, so much fun, and messy in the best possible way. The author nails all the character voices, and the sex scenes are just the right amount of hot and ridiculous, and I just love it all a lot too.
Kendall estimates it will take an hour for the first articles to go up. Some rapid-fire blog without oversight—the New York Post, maybe, or wherever those Vaulter hippies have skulked off to—will slap a catchy headline on it and report his words verbatim. Give or take a gif of his face when he switches to script number two. New York Times, Washington Post, AP, those fuckers take longer. They like to bleed the story like Middle Ages plague doctors for its marrow, fact-check and add context and analysis and as many backlinks as their servers can handle. Still, a couple of hours, and his face will be plastered on every major news outlet. His voice will play over the nightly talk shows. He’ll trend on Twitter. A few more days, and he’ll be the star of analysis segments, podcasts, weekly briefings. Maybe, fuck it, maybe he’ll trend on Twitter again.
It’s been years since Kendall read Shakespeare. But that shit sticks with you, gets under your skin and emerges when you least expect it, like eczema or Keynesian economics. He knows how the media will spin this. Kendall Roy Attacks CEO Logan for Years of Corruption. Prodigal Son Disrupts Family Legacy to Restore Credibility. That’s how Hamlet ends, right? And Macbeth, Lear, Othello, Romeo and Juliet, even Titus fucking Andronicus. The spilled blood sinks into the ground, the seedlings sprout forth from the soil, and a new castle is built on the bones. Order out of chaos, or at least close enough an approximation that the tabloids will buy it.
Legacy for profit by owlinaminor Post-2.10. Kendall Roy. Kendall through Shakespeare analogies – just - - ooooof. It's a beautiful, lyrical character study that weaves through Roy family history and teases at a future none of them are even sure they want. It's gorgeous writing.
For the next few days Shiv would have to keep the pressure on Kira like an open wound because there were other women, victims that Nate’s people were going to find one by one as soon as that phone call disconnected. Mo was her father’s friend, good friend, for a long, long time. Nate and Gil, Sandy and Stewy, too many sharks in the water and the share price probably dipped to a new low but she would never check a stock ticker. Her husband’s nerves fraying at the edges on national television. She had promised a woman she’d never met before that she would kill roughly one third of the top male executives of her family’s company. Her company.
The last look Rhea gave her before she shut the car door was concern close to fear—no longer the same woman who heard their pitch in the safe room, who laughed with her at Argestes. Rhea had only looked into the abyss; she got cold feet and she didn’t even know what it’s like to grow up in it.
Her family’s company is hers, will be hers. Even from a whale fall, new life would spring.
Feed his flesh to wayward daughters by reogulus. 2k words. Shiv Roy. Set during 2.09.
This entire fic is set around Shiv bribing Kira not to testify, and god, it is so good. It’s bleak and rough, and really hones in on the complex ground Shiv walks as a character. It's another brilliant study of what it takes to be a Roy, and the way they make the awful choices in order to fulfill this legacy that they don't even know they want.
Kendall sets down his fork. “So. Tell me. Is it everything you wanted? Is it what you thought it would be?”
Roman stills. He never does that. He’s constantly a menace in motion, slouching and fidgeting, worse even than Kendall at his amphetamine peak. “What? The view from the tippy-tippy-top?”
“His regard.” Kendall wipes his mouth with the edge of the white cloth napkin. It comes away pink from the steak. “Dad. He’s all yours now.”
Roman still hasn’t moved. Finally, he lurches, like corroded machinery come uncertainly to life. “Yeah, man. It’s fucking tight as hell. I love every beautiful daddy and me moment I was a good enough little boy to earn.” He snorts. “Fuck you.” His face goes curiously slack then, like something Kendall’s own face would do. An intermission in the performance, an energy cut. Something genuine finding its way to the surface. “Why don’t you tell me. When you got everything you wanted, how the fuck did that make you feel?”
Nauseous, is the first word that springs to mind. Sick. Scared. I’ve never had everything I wanted, there’s that. I’ve never once had a single fucking thing I wanted. There’s that, too.
Interim leadership by arbitrarily 2k words. Roman + Kendall. Post s2.
I love Roman and Kendall scenes generally, but this one which features Kendall and Roman meeting for the first time a few months after the press conference in 2.10 is just a bit magic. The push pull dynamic that's just inherent to them mixed with the genuine affection and brotherly love is really special, and arbitrarily embraces both in equal measure. It's a great little fic.
There are lots more of course, and I'd also recommend checking out other works by these authors, but I hope this is a good place to start! :-)
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Incoming sad rant about the spn ending. Don't read if you're not interested in reading something like that, but I literally don't know anyone in real life I can talk about this with, and I really need an outlet:
Sometimes I can put the way SPN ended out of my head and think "it's just a stupid show. I don't have to accept the finale, and the writers/network are wrong." But other times I just get gripped with really intense sadness at the disrespect that was done to my favorite characters. To the point where I'll sit still for hours a day, just wallowing in it. It ruins my whole day and mood. And then I think to myself "I'll just find some other stories that end better!" but then I get sad again, cuz I don't think I will ever love other characters as much as I love Dean and Cas, and then I spiral again thinking about all the potential this unique beautiful love story had, and how we're never going to get the closure we deserve.
I really hate that after all this time, I'm a grown ass adult getting sad over fictional characters. I know it's not that trivial, but I sometimes wish it was so I could get over it 😞
Hi hi, and first of all *socially distanced internet hugs* I’m sorry you don’t have an outlet, but you’re always welcome to chat with me (if you come off anon we can talk privately if you want. My DM’s are always open, even when it takes me a bit to reply. no one should have to feel alone in this.)
I’m actually gonna start at the bottom of your message and work my way up, because I also, as a grown-ass adult, get sad over fictional characters. And I need to emphasize that this is the *point* of fiction. A well-written and developed fictional character is *indistinguishable in our minds from an actual real human being.* The way we react to them *feels exactly the same to our brains and bodies* as how we react to real people, and that’s a testament to just how well developed Dean and Cas were in canon.
I am not a young person. I have engaged with a lot of media over my life, and have *never* felt this strongly about fictional characters before, so I understand what you mean when you struggle to think about finding another story that ended better, or struggle to think about finding other characters you might become this attached to or experience this sort of emotional investment in. And I think there is another factor you didn’t consider there: The vast majority of other media I have engaged with, I was able to relate to on a level of “oh that’s nice for them” or “wow that sucks for them.” I have never, and possibly never will again, feel so utterly invested in fictional characters, to the point where it affects my real life as much as Supernatural has. Period.
I will likely never experience *literal physical lovesickness* over two fictional characters ever again. I hadn’t ever experienced it *in my own real life* before, and yet 15.18 triggered all those symptoms in me. As an aromantic person, this was pretty shocking to me. It also says a lot about just how real these characters feel to us, and how important they have become to us. They make us feel this! This is not an accident. It’s *incredibly difficult* to create fictional characters with this range and depth of emotional connection, and yet here we are.
I think that’s the biggest evidence possibly to present in defense of the statement that THIS IS NOT JUST SOME STUPID SHOW.
Other evidence: this fandom, still going strong after 15 years. Look at every SPN convention for proof. Look at AO3, where there are more posted stories about Dean and Cas than literally any other pairing on the planet (by a not-small margin, too). If that isn’t enough evidence, we have fanart to look at as well. Look through @theroadsofararchive where at the time of this posting there are over 40,000 artworks catalogued, and more being added all the time. Same with @canonspngifs where you can search through through nearly 75,000 gifsets organized by an excellent tagging system and made by dedicated fans out of love for the thing. This is all proof that you are not alone, that so many of us care just as deeply about them as you do. Not even mentioning the people who have written hundreds of millions of words of meta, articles, and even masters theses and doctoral dissertations on Supernatural and the fandom. This is a unique thing, even within the larger fandom culture. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that your feelings for it are stupid or irrelevant or wrong.
But also don’t let anyone try to convince you that you must accept the finale as part of the story if you don’t want to. Don’t even let *yourself* believe that if you don’t want to. This show has done more to play with the themes of “what is reality” and “who gives a story meaning” and alternate universes and curses and djinn dreams to easily account for whatever the heck the finale was.
my current go-to theory: everything after Chuck’s defeat takes place in the Mockumentary Alternate Universe... it fits way too uncomfortably well... and then I just apply the fic I received in a cosmic transmission from the actual supernatural universe wrote detailing the events of what *I* hoped would transpire afterward. I know this doesn’t work for everyone, but it works for me, mostly because it *has* to. It means far too much to me not to.
You are not alone in having invested yourself into this story, and these characters. Your feelings about them are not wrong or stupid or frivolous. And the proof is everyone else who feels the same exact way, who connected to this story (and to each other through this story), and whose lives have been forever altered through this journey together. The fact that Dabb turned out to have been Chuck Junior and couldn’t see (or was prevented from showing us) what Team Free Will would’ve chosen to do with that after defeating their original creator just stands to prove to me that the finale can’t possibly be The Truth, you know?
I don’t know if any of this will help you, or provide you some small comfort right now, but maybe it will eventually. We’re all processing the loss of the show and the abject failure of story that was the finale in different ways, and I’m sure our emotional reactions will shift over time. It was just A Lot to process all in the span of a few incredibly emotional weeks-- not even mentioning how all of that emotional response was compounded by the american elections and surrounding nonsense, the general stress of enduring a global pandemic and all that entails, and *waves hands around broadly at everything else contributing to the trauma occurring in the collective of humankind right now.* We’ve all been emotionally compromised, so be kind to yourself in how you feel you’re coping with it all.
And know that no matter what, you are not alone in how you’re feeling. The grief is real, and our brains don’t care if it’s felt for fictional characters or real people. This was honestly a once in a lifetime experience for a lot of us, and not even the wtf of the finale can kill it for us if we don’t let it. I reject that particular piece of rusty rebar and choose to believe in a just and narratively coherent resolution. To do anything less feels like dishonoring the story and characters who have drawn me in and made me feel so much for them over the years. If the story itself couldn’t honor them properly, then I can choose to do so myself.
<3
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