#and the way she’d be so sad
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bub silently sitting there and letting me rant as i spam for for 6 minutes straight of texts talking about how sumeru and their characters had the most found family connections between everyone and that every character is connected to each other and it really felt like traveler was family with everyone and her leaving without saying goodbye isn’t anything new but it stung so extra hard this time around
#SHE COULD HAVE#SHE COULD HAVE SAID BYE#i keep thinking about collei finding out she’s left#and the way she’d be so sad#and i’m in despair
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[ cw: death mention / family death mention / ]
Mhmm I sure love thinking of the reality where we did get more time to really know Karai and her dynamics with the bros. Losing her hit hard in the finale, but it would’ve hit much, much harder had we known Karai longer and really saw her relationships develop with everyone.
I especially would have been interested in her dynamic with Leo, as past iterations often have the two of them clash in ideals and the like while still sharing many characteristics. Two sides of the same coin, and all that. Her specifically being the bros’ Gram-Gram also adds a whole new dynamic as well.
Imagine how interesting it would be, to have Karai start off on Leo’s side for once, showing wholly just how alike the two are at their cores and bonding as family without the worry of betrayal or animosity that other iterations suffer through, only to have Karai die anyway. Their parting hug and the desperate look of horror Leo wears later on would have hit that much harder, I feel.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#rise karai#rise leo#rottmnt karai#rottmnt leo#I think a lot about these two in particular#and how that dynamic could have flourished#the way it was depicted in the finale is so purposefully unique and painful like#that hug man#can you imagine how much more heartbreaking that would have been if we knew her longer#not that it wasn’t already sad but we just simply didn’t know her long enough to be completely attached#also imo having more episodes with her and in general would have presented something I’ve been thinking about since the finale#so like - I like to think each bro kinda immediately leans more toward certain family members#Mikey has Draxum#Donnie has April#Raph has Splinter because this is another one that would be SO GOOD and make the finale moment where Raph sees his memories hit harder#if they had an ep or two more of Splinter and Raph together bc I really do feel like Raph respects Splinter most of the four#and finally- Leo has Karai#and then he loses her#imo? this would align with the movie even more#because it was the act of heroism that kinda killed her in a way - makes sense that Leo would initially be leaning away from that#and yet he ends up exactly like her anyway#haha sorry for rambling I just really love the interesting dynamic these two tend to have#and it’s a shame we didn’t get to see it really explored in rise#but yeah make no mistake while I’m focusing on Leo here I wanted more for all the boys and karai#Mikey’s little moments with her were so sweet and we already know how much he yearns for more family#Karai being from an age long gone would mean she’d be super impressed by literally any invention Donnie has (adult validation!!)#and could you imagine her training with Raph - with this training being referenced in the finale?
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As someone who knew nothing about the world of Faerun when starting BG3, when Shadowheart was talking about being a worshipper of Shar and keeping it a secret I was like “aw babes don’t worry i don’t believe in religious persecution :)”
And then I got to those temple ruins in the under dark and realized Sharrans literally eat people sometimes and I was like “Oh. Ohhhhhhh.”
#how was i supposed to know some gods are quite literally just evil omg#like girl i thought they hated yall bc u were goth and a baddie i thought u were bullied for being sad and pretty not like. cannibalism??#but i had already decided she was my bestie so i was just gonna look the other way#it’s not like she’d be the only person there who ate people *looks at astarion*#and i was literally a dark urge like im sure ive munched on an innocent once. it’s chill we’re chill#bg3#bg3 spoilers#shadowheart#bg3 shadowheart#baldurs gate 3#darius decrees
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one day I’m actually going to grab everything I went through last year and pour it into a raritwi breakup fic where they don’t get back together and I don’t do my usual thing where I hint there’s hope for them
And I think that will probably be a very emotional and good fic but also it’ll probably be incredibly crushing more than anything Ive ever done so honestly maybe we should all be grateful I haven’t written it yet
#I’ve been listening to JP Saxe’s ‘A Little Bit Yours’#and i can feel it clawing at me#‘all i do is get over you and I’m so bad at it’#‘maybe if I’d said the right things it never would have gone this way’#‘but maybe that’s the problem cause I still kinda think it was up to me’#‘when I never could have made you stay’#rarity moves away from ponyville because everything is twilight#and she sees twilight just lock it out block it out put it away in a box and move on#and rarity can’t#and she tries#and tries#and a thousand miles away#in the dark of the night#the silence staring her down#she has to live with the idea that twilight got over her like that#that twilight probably already let go long long ago#and yet rarity is there knowing still she’d kill if twilight asked her to#and there’s no victory in that#no poetry or muse#no beauty#it’s just sad and pathetic and a masochism and so self centered#to cling to the hope that twilight still loves her or needs her when she knows it’s not true and it never will be#and the element of generosity wonders when her core got twisted#when generosity and caring and giving became erasing yourself for some pony else#and maybe one day it’ll stop#maybe one day she’ll be fine#but for now#she quietly makes peace with a simple fact#that even if twilight sparkle isn’t hers anymore and never will be again#at least for now rarity is still a little bit twilight’s
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🗿
#Yuuta literally just had a whole thing about it in the new chapter he didnt even want to do this shit#and I’m sure yuuji would’ve disagreed heavily with this these people always gotta make it about a ship it’s so annoyingsjsjsjs#and sm ppl hate Yuuta now he didn’t even want this sjsjs im so sorry bro#rambling#and ppl were bitching about Shoko’s reaction even tho it’s pretty on brand for how she’d react#they like to act like she doesn’t care at all because it’s so easy to x her out of Gojo’s life because the shippers don’t care too much for#her anyway and it’s easy to forget that she doesn’t matter in their minds#during the fight she started smoking again despite having quit….#and she went through a whole pack of cigarettes during… she didn’t even think that it was possible for Gojo to have lost the way that he#did she completely believed in him because that was her friend#both her and Yuuta are getting shit on so hard bro these people cannot fucking read#jjk spoilers#stsg shippers have the worst comprehension skills….. ever bro#the fact that Gojo had already consented to this in the end is even more sad but they all knew the stakes… I just hate that Shoko and Yuuta#are being heavily shitted on for no reason and making it seem like they didn’t care about him even his other students I’m sure most of them#thought the plan was awful but if it had to be done it had to be done#I’m so sorry Shoko and Yuuta omg
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always so funky to be reminded that your parents might love you but they don’t actually like you very much
#wasn’t i supposed to leave that feeling behind with puberty?#anyway mama decided i have no christmas wish#the sad little guy who can’t get nice things for themself also doesn’t get to ask for them now during the ‘ask for things’ time of the year#it’s not about christmas it’s not about material things it’s about looking me in the glassy eyes and asserting ‘you have no wish’#when wishing is all i ever do you just never create a space safe enough for me to voice them#blah#not st#i’m so so sorry that whining is all i ever do anymore and i shouldn’t be so sad about this over and over again#i’m just. so small. tiny. and insignificant. i might not have been there all day and 99% of the conversations would have happened the same#i wanna stop feeling this way but i think in order to stop feeling this way i need to stop wanting to be loved and seen and listened to#by my mom. and i don’t think it’s entirely human or possible to stop wanting that. so oh well#i don’t know if i give them reason to like me. maybe i don’t. this might all be on me actually.#if she knew i’m crying about this she’d roll her eyes and say ‘you know how i am. sorry you misunderstood me’#why do the blows keep coming? when’s it my turn to rest?
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claire should have had a minor for her first undergrad and there’s a funny option here but i’m not sure if i’m willing to make it Real
#it would make sense for her character and the career path she planned on following#+ like. pressure from her father to follow in his footsteps#it’s not bug related by the way. i’m starting to think that perhaps claire wouldn’t have pursued that career wise#as in. entomology is an interest of hers of course but not something she pursues while majoring in bio#since it doesn’t fit her father’s ooops her view of her future#does this make sense? she plans on going to med school#a minor in entomology would be fun and it wouldn’t matter much for pre med being honest but I Don’t Think her father Would Be Pleased.#and that’s something i have to take in account while writing claire#which is sad. i liked her thesis being about insects. it’s so unabashedly claire. it’s cute#<- but it Does make sense that she’d hide her interest in insects#right. she wouldn’t really write a thesis about it when you consider her character… it’s like… nerd emoji. Too Much nerd emoji.#there’s a reason why she stops collecting bugs after she gets in hollywood u#anyway the minor i was considering is psychology. i am not being biased here. i just think it’s Really funny if she has a minor in psych#<- + her father is a psychiatrist so that’s what i wa going for
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I want you all to know how horribly sick my header makes me. it. it absolutely wrecks me every time. and it’s so much better to watch as a video. to watch joel pull her up on callus with him. the deep exhale she lets out, gazing up at him briefly and looking like this. after arguing at the ranch not that long before this, she looks at him like this. he takes her back. “ellie, get off your horse” and her look of absolute surprise and hope as she watches him in complete disbelief to the point where he has to urge her on because she’s just so stuck that he changed his mind. the fact that he can’t see her at all once she’s behind him and there’s at least two moments where she looks at him and smiles, complete trust and love in her expression.
Anyway game joel chooses ellie and show ellie chooses joel I think that’s cute.
#like#it’s so incredible to me#I know this scene by heart#I know it so so well#and it never fails to get to me#but it’s the way she looks at him#it’s both of them really#joel taking her back.#pulling her up with him.#knowing she’d come with him and seeing how upset she was#and he chooses her#and then how she accepts it immediately#her expression saying everything#and tommy being like “’there’s a place for you here y’now’#and Joel just nods and is like#yeah me and the rascal will be back soon don’t you worry#keep that house of ours unoccupied#idk. makes me sad makes me happy makes me really really sad#because he’s dead and she’ll never get the chance to look at him like this again#unless in the goofy daydreams where she dies and they meet in the afterlife#the last of us#the last of us part 1#joel miller#ellie williams
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The image of Vivienne caring for my Lavellan in the winter palace once Solas removes the anchor. She’s in her private room, only Vivienne is there since she’s the main person taking care of her recovery process. She knows Bloom is completely drained of magic, and she notices something Bloom must’ve been hiding. She sees Bloom’s tranquil mark on her forehead and almost breaks down at the thought of her friend, who she let into her heart, was tranquil at some point in her life. She suddenly understands why Bloom struggled with her magic in the beginning of the Inquisition, and she understands her embarrassment and almost envy when looking at Vivienne and Dorian and Solas in the battlefield. Bloom was once a powerful apprentice at her Circle, Vivienne learned that at some point, and it always confused her as to how Bloom struggled with her magic in the Inquisition and didn’t know terms she should’ve learned in the Circle, but now she understands.
Bloom had talent and so much ability, and yet it was taken away by people. Horrible people hurt her friend. And she’s furious. She wonders why didn’t she tell her? She could’ve helped her! Taught her more spells and would’ve helped all her emotions and be there for her. But then another terrible realization hits her.
She was scared of her. Bloom was her friend, a close one though they didn’t always agree, but she was scared of the way Vivienne would see her. She wonders if Bloom thought Vivienne would see her as below her, unworthy of her attention or time because she was tranquil. She wondered if Bloom believed Vivienne would’ve made bad assumptions and accusations for why she became tranquil. And that hurts worse.
She has seen her friend smile, cheer up the others, help her brother when he has his moments of need (like a good sister would), spend time with the soldiers and actually listen to the people around Skyhold, she has seen her friend cry when Solas left her the first time, and she has been helped personally with Bastion. She has seen her in many, many states. But on the inside she was suffering, something Vivienne could tell easily (even the others could), but MORE than she thought. It wasn’t just the inquisition constantly haunting her. It was the past people that hurt her, and whatever she and her brother had experienced.
She’s furious, angry, but when she looks back at her sleeping friend, who she’s desperately trying to heal, her face softens and she casts a glamor spell back on her. She won’t let others find out since she hid it on her own for all this time, and Vivienne knows there will be scandals and people out for her all over again if they knew. But she does have questions for her friend, wondering how she got her magic back and how is her magic ability after the two years of Vivienne’s absence.
But those are for a later day. She needs to be healed and helped first. Vivienne’s curiosity and fury can wait, but her friend cannot.
Yeah….it’s a nice little wholesome moment for Vivienne and my lavellan….
#dragon age#vivienne madam de fer#dragon age inquisition#dragon age Vivienne#madam de fer#my writing#I love Vivienne even if I disagree with her actions and beliefs at times.#I LOVE HER!! and I believe she’d be this way when seeing tranquils. idk her opinion exactly but#I see her as being emotional and upset on the inside but holding it in bc that’s how she’s lived for so long. but she almost breaks#for her friend who she thought WOULDN’T be a friend. she’s sad but above all of all: she’s worried and wants to help her friend#even more. and she will.#I’ll write it properly at some point I promise
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it’s crazy how people don’t think their death will affect people around them even if you aren’t close to them, or even if they were just semi passing encounters like no, others feel it. my neighbor died and as I park my car and look up at her dark little house it makes me so sad - I wanna go inside and turn on the lights she always has on. People notice and will feel it even if you don’t believe it.
#and I feel so bad because I saw her a couple of days ago and she was trying to give me flowers but I was rushing back to work#they’ve been on her porch she said take some and I haven’t and ew I feel bad#she was always trying to give me flowers and stuff because knows I like em#she was a lot but had a lot of issues going on#she use to come over crying all the time I knew so much about her life#and she genuinely cared about all of us over here#been like 16 years#I use to walk and also be chased by her dog way back in the day#stood in between her and her husband in a fighting match#one time she slid a picture of an owl under my door and we were so fucking creeped out because what#turned out it was her and she gave it to me because I love animals and photography hahah#l'd hide from her but feel bad and end up listening haha#she’d give me birthday cards because I share a birthday with one of her daughters#definitely an end to a era#I feel bad for her daughter she was sitting in her car while medical examiners were in the house#a bunch of ominious black vans outside for a bit#I should've taken the flowers 😕#I felt crazy guilty afterwards to the point I kept mentioning it and now I’m wondering if my spooky bitch body knew something#it's me and I wouldn't be that surprised I am all knowing even if I don't know you know?#seems odd#anyways I was thinking of leaving something for her daughter but I’m not sure when#she wasn’t home today#I’m not surprised by that#the flowers are still on her steps and it makes me really 😖#anyways life is short and weird and sad and ppl care
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I can’t really put this into words but having old parents is really A Journey in itself.
#will come back to this#personal#like there’s so much I want to absorb from my father#and less time every day#and so much I think I can heal in my mother#because we can talk about way more now that she sees me as grown#she asks me questions I thought she’d always be terrified of#her growth is really extraordinary#but idk how to think of all this and not be sad
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yeah cause on one hand Shiv being a mother would kill her and staying with Tom is a very bad idea but on another hand it is what people do, they stay in bad marriages and raise their kids awfully and it wouldn’t be unrealistic for them to fall into that trap and on this other hand i found on the cruise ship if Shiv had an abortion then maybe she and Tom could reconcile but on Logan’s dead cold paw they should never ever be near each other again and also maybe Shiv should have that baby on her own because does she not want to be a mother or is she just afraid that she is her mother and anyway uh love is real but also it is not enough
#I’m so compelled by Shiv and motherhood#it wasn’t like an active choice to not be a mother imo#like I love women who see babies and are like ‘oh god. no way not for me.’#but idk if Shiv doesn’t want to be a mum or just believes she’d fuck it up so bad#like does she not like children or does she just not want people being reminded that she’s a woman#is she being asked to give up something she wants because it would remind people of what she is biologically of her unforgivable weakness#shiv do you not want a baby or do you just not want a baby as much as you want to keep your dignity#like oof. I love women not wanting to be mothers. but there’s something so dark and sad#about the narrative of a woman who wants to be a mother but not be seen as a woman. would shiv have taken the option of being a father#if that was a possibility#anyway AHHHHHHHHHHHHH#succession#shiv roy#tom wambsgans#tomshiv
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yeah femc has some really solid romance routes but i just cannot be assed to care too much because there are some crazy level yuri goings on in this game
#bobtalk#yeah i’ll max shinji and ryoji of course. ryoji especially he’s my bestfriend. akihiko…sorry lmao.#maxed saori and put my head in my hands. PEAK. i wonder what she’ll say in march. letter like temperance?#i feel like she’d really benefit from watching r/gu. by the way. she started talking about princes and princesses#p3pposting#anyway every girl you spoke more than 2 sentences to in male route was inexplicably madly in love with you. but femc has Charisma.#(still very funny how people line up outside your classroom to speak to you btw. lmao)#i want to do more junpei link cuz it’s been Very good but he’s occupied by the plot rn. sad! started shinji though (september)#anyway. every time i play portable i’m reminded how much girls rule. i love you girls. i finally got megido on my mothman.#i’m also reminded how sad i am about reload. WE DONT GET VOICED OR MODELLED SAORI……..THEY HATE WOMEN!!!#by the way yukari peak as fuck. shes so good. i’m trying 2 like mitsuru more because the student council type personality#never really appeals to me that much. <- im also trying to hack my brain to like makoto more. for feminism. i’m sorry women i’m working oni#she’s really pretty in arena btw. <3<3<3#i also don’t especially care for akihiko i KNOW i’m SORRY. he’s fine. i like his dynamic with shinji and ken. sorry. lol#but yeah. i need aigis SL NOW!!!!#(theodore sucks btw. maybe that’s just because i don’t like men but i miss liz so bad. sigh.)#when my laptop works again maybe i’ll post some screenshots. <- playing on vita btw#good game.#(oh yeah i’ve maxed all social stats except i’m two from max on knowledge. whoops! at least it’s enough for Dying Young Man.)
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t h e trip awaits~~~~~~~~~~
#guess who managed to bribe the family onto a birthday trip to the cup noodle museum~? >this fool!!!!<#but my proposal to visit the cup noodle museum every day of the trip was rejected :( sads#but c’mon mans i’m paying for the flights and hotel i deserve my cup noods every day right~~~?#though my mother did say that she’d pay for d i s n e y l a n d and d i s n e y s e a for her trip contribution#and im just like. th. they’re different places????? (lives under a rock)#but anyways phase 1 of trapping my bro overseas so that he’ll have no choice but to wish me happy birthday this year is a g o!!!!!!!!#my bank account feels lighter but my excitement levels could n o t be any higher!!!!! heck yeaaaa mans let’s go to the cup noodle museum!!!!#though. when i told my coworkers that i was going to take a trip to visit the cup noodle museum… they all called me stupid in so many ways…#there’s no way that i like cup noodles too much right…?#i like cup noodles a normal amount i swear…………..#cup noodles are just. really rad yk~~~~? they come in so many different sizes and varieties!!!! and there’s a nood for every occasion!!!#there are fried nood varieties (yakisoba/mi goreng types) and there are ~fancy~ bowl noods too!!!!!!!#cup noodles are the best~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~#cup noodles the loml <333333333333333#they won’t betray you by boiling over either!!!!!!!!!!! just add hot water and it’ll do all the work!!!!!!#remind me to get my coworkers souvenirs from the cup noodle museum… and maybe d i s n e y l a nd too. maybe.#inedible blubbering
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the only irl friend I have that I feel comfortable actually talking about the things I enjoy with just insulted me for gushing about smth to her over snap last night and now I want to cry
#this is going in the tags bc it’s stupid but it’s making me sad so#the only irl friend I have that I actually felt comfortable sharing my interests with just made fun of me#for gushing to her about smth over snap last night#and I’m at work rn so I can’t even cry bc in a few minutes I’m back out on the floor#but just like. I think I have rsd (especially around my interests and then my intelligence but that’s not pertinent here)#so I’ve never really been super open about what things interest me bc when I get made fun of for it or those things get insulted#It really hurts#the only people I’ve really felt comfortable opening up to are like. Sid obv and then this one friend of mine#bc the two of us found out we shared some interests and started like. telling each other about other things we like#I’d tell her about my silly little tv shows and podcasts and she’d tell me about the movies and books she was into#and I’ve explained to her before how I’ve never really been comfortable enough to talk about that shit and how I appreciated her being kind#and not insulting me like other people have in the past#but today I’m sitting on break and watching the replies she sent me and one of them is just a clip in response to my video from last night#where she just goes ‘girl I literally don’t care’ (and this was not in a joking way like that was her response#and it was in a tone that implied ‘so shut up about it’)#and like I get it! I am often not interested in the things that people tell me about! but I try to be earnest and engaged#and I can understand loving smth and wanting to share it with others! and how it sucks when people are then mean about it!#like when she tells me about a teen drama romance book or sends me instagram reels of cake decorating I try to respond with enthusiasm!#bc while the content may not interest me I like hearing about the things she enjoys and I’m glad she feels open to telling me about stuff!#but now I don’t want to share shit with her anymore bc this has given me a huge spike in anxiety and I feel like shit#idk. it’s stupid but it sucks#vent#ig
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Alexis Michelle werked my pussy OUT this episode like…. I’ve said it once I’ll say it again she may be annoying but the bitch is TALENTED and so cute this episode…. She may be annoying but I’m rlly happy she got to prove herself and get a win this episode
#I thot she deserved to win joan Crawford episode TBFH….#so sad to see [REDACTED] go though :( I was hoping she’d be saved#it could have gone either way but i was way more excited to see [REDACTED] go further ):#t
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