#and the way he struggles with ideas of power
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plethorawrites · 3 days ago
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ahh your recent clark kent drabble has me so dizzy ,, him begging you not to make noise and he’d probably force his fingers into your mouth, down your throat, your little gags probably wouldn’t be much better, but better for him than hearing your moans 😩
MY PHONE FLEWWW FROM MY HAND WHEN I SAW THIS!!! But I absolutely see the vision! (This was longer and more explicit than planned. Oops? If anyone asks, I didn't write this and if you know me irl... please alert me so I can off myself)
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Clark Kent, who adores having that little loft space in the barn because it's the perfect quiet spot for you and him to spend time together when his parents are home or you just don't want to risk getting caught. His couch is pretty comfortable too, so when he lays you down on it, it's more than enough space for you, even if he's barely able to fit on top of you.
It's usually peaceful, the two of you with just just enough privacy to make some noise without getting caught and just enough lack of it to add to the thrill of being in front of an open barn window while you're vertical. Despite not really fitting on it, he wouldn't dare complain when he had you laying under him, your legs intertwined with his, head tilted back against the arm rest as you held onto his neck.
If freezing time was one of his powers, he'd use it right then and there to memorize everything about this moment—your open lips, which were puffy from him biting on them and the bruises darkening on your neck as the seconds passed. The messy strands of your hair sticking to your face, which was flushed and glowing in the dim lighting. It's like his own persona heaven.
Or, it was, until he heard the barn door slide open.
He'd tried to stop, when he heard it, honestly, he did. Clark could see your eyes snap open, panic replacing your bliss, and wanted desperately to make you go back to babbling his name again. But considering his dad was below them, searching for something, that seemed like a bad idea.
After a few moments of complete stillness, he couldn't handle it anymore, and regardless of the risk, held your hips as he slowly went back to what he was doing, thrusting in and out of you. His teeth sink into his bottom lip, eyes trained on you as you try, very weakly to quietly argue with him about pausing and getting dressed, but before your argument even fully leaves your lips it's cut off with a whimper.
He shushes you, his eyes getting serious the way they sometimes did when something was important to him. One of his hands left your hips to readjust the blanket that was loosely draped over both of your waists and thighs, bringing you a tad of comfort before another, much louder moan, left your lips.
His hand immediately went to your mouth, his teeth clenching as he panted heavily, pressing his face to your neck, sucking another hickey on it, before pulling away to look at you. Your eyes met his for a moment before they rolled back and your spine arched a bit.
"You're getting there, aren't you?" You whispered in your ear, feeling you fall apart for him. "Go ahead," he encouraged. "Just stay quiet." His hand dug further into your hip and another of your whines was absorbed by his hand. "Shhh, quiet," he said again. "You gotta be careful."
You were trying. Honestly.
You could hear his dad throwing boxes around, looking for something and struggling to find it. He pulled your leg up, wrapping it around his waist and the movement, the way you could feel him so much better made another, much louder moan leave your lips.
Clark winced, pressing his face to your neck to muffle himself as his hand pushed harder against your lips. Your hand gripped his wrist tightly and he cursed under his breath. "I know, I know you don't like having your mouth covered, I'm sorry," he apologized, kissing your cheek. "It's just for a little bit."
You shook your head weakly, protesting and he gritted his teeth, his head swimming as he tried to balance too many thoughts at once. His hand left your mouth, two of his fingers pushing past your lips. "Is this better?" He asked, panting against your neck as his fingers pressed down on your tongue, sliding into the back of your throat, making you gag.
The sound made him moan, and he buried his face against your hair, inhaling the scent of your shampoo for a moment. Your hand dragged down his back, and his head fell, pressing his forehead to your shoulder for a moment.
"That's it," he praised, his fingers sliding in and out of your mouth, exploring it. "So much quieter like this." Some box went thud against the floor below but all he cared about was the feeling of your tongue under the pads of his fingertips as they pushed towards the back of your throat, eliciting little gags from you. He lifted his head, kissing your forehead, your temple, your cheek, your jaw, your neck.
Clark's teeth sink into your shoulder as he reaches his climax, trying to keep himself as quiet as possible by biting down on your flesh, the sharp canine teeth causing you to yelp. His fingers forced their way so far back in your throat you felt like you were choking, but it successfully stole the sound of pain from your mouth.
His teeth left your skin after a moment and he soothed the area with his tongue, before pressing a kiss to your shoulder. "You're doing so well for me," he promised you, his fingers messaging your tongue as he felt your body go rigid under him. "Just like that, sweetheart. Keep gagging for me."
The next sound to leave your mouth was the loudest, but once again, his fingers swallowed the noise before it even left your mouth. They scraped the back of your throat, tears pricked in your eyes as you gagged, your entire body tensing up before going completely slack.
His fingers gently slid back out of your mouth and laid his head on your shoulder as his entire weight slowly crushed you. He buried his face in your neck, his hands finding your hair and threading through the locks.
"You're perfect," he mumbles, gently massaging your scalp, pushing your hair around, tangling it. "So damn perfect," he repeated again, out of breath and exhausted as he placed another kiss to your neck.
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lexirosewrites · 1 day ago
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Mafia au pt 3
Sorry I know it's coming to you late but the last week for crazy for me
After going thru the entirety of Richards documents Steve asks Eddie if he would mind setting up a meeting with all of the superiors in the "family"
Eddie asks if Steve is sure because he'll be alone in a large room of just alpha males and male betas that worked their way up
Steve waves off his worry and says how he will be okay and Eddie needs to trust him he knows what he's doing, he promises to be careful
When the meeting takes place everyone is in for a big surprise
Everyone is seated and waiting for the omega who called the meeting and are laughing that this young omega thinks he has any power over them. Steve enters the room in a very nice suit and carrying several folders under his other arm. Everyone is curious as to what is in the folders
Steve starts off with handing out copies of his DNA test showing that he is in fact Richards child, next he kicks the Hagan family out of the business because they've been working with other mob families and actively selling secrets and resources, plus they've been killing other of their own family members to make it up in the business
Finally Steve admits he's known about this little operation for a lot longer than he let on. Plus he knows the accident that killed his mother and crippled him was no accident and was in fact an inside job. He plans on finding out who was behind it and will get his revenge then leave the family and they can fight each other for the top honor of boss.
One of the other much older males laughs at Steve when he says that if anyone has any information that can share it with Steve to avoid a similar sentence, he says how Steve's just a stupid crippled omega and let the power go to his head
Steve shoots him in the knees then leaves the room reminding them all that they're all on his hit list and suspects until he learns the full truth
I want to plan more but I'm struggling a little bit with what else I want to happen because I have so many ideas but I know not all of them will work the best together for this story. Also sorry that this one is so short, like I said this past week has been super crazy for me hopefully next week won't be as bad
scary omega Steve🥰
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myfanficideas · 14 hours ago
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Hello my loves.
Yes, Percy Jackson has trauma, struggled and all that. I am an avid fan of the series and universe, of COURSE we know he struggled. We see it MORE than almost anyone because most of the series is in Percy's view. Percy is, capital A, Angst central and has gone through so much because people just like to torture him for fun.
In this post, an IDEA FOR A FANFICTION (peep my name, myfanficideas) from THE VIEW OF JASON GRACE (aka a Jason Grace centric fanfiction), it simply stated that Jason Grace, like many other characters in the books, viewed Percy as perfect. Percy was this all powerful hero to not just the demigods, but even the gods feared and respected him. In some ways, it would make sense for Percy to not want to let others know he was struggling, only letting his closest friends into these deep parts. So of course Jason would not see this deep intense suffering, but just one powerful hero, like everyone else saw.
So in this IDEA, Jason Grace is just being an angsty boy that also has trauma and self esteem issues. If anything, a fanfiction like this would LEAD to Jason understanding that Percy was not perfect, Percy struggled, and is still struggling.
I ❤️ Jason Grace, you 💙 Percy (see I even looked for the blue heart), I also 💙 Percy Jackson, let's live all in mutual ❤️-ing.
Thank you.
(I also 🖤 Nico Di Angelo, my first PJO love, you will always be my special emo boy)
We all know Jason was jealous of Percy, and in some way Percy was jealous of Jason. Jason finds out one day and is just utterly confused.
What could Percy be jealous about? He has a mother who loves him, his godly parent actually cares for him. He is a celebrated hero, with even the gods fearing him. He was offered immortality and on his own terms REFUSED. His siblings who share the same godly parent actually LIKE him. When he went missing, people actually cared enough to look for him.
So what in Jason's life would make Percy jealous?
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miraculouslbcnreactions · 7 hours ago
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I just realized that, in the 5 seasons finales, LB&CN NEVER won :(
-S1: Origins, the start of everything so it doesn’t exactly count. Volpina is the last chapter before those, but now that Lila seems to be the new HM, and since it was LB’s “mistake” that made her a nemesis, their victory comes empty in the long run.
-S2: Heroes’ Day, I consider it a tie, because the status quo changed to HM’s favor. After all seemed lost, LB&CN got a second wind and they managed to corner him, pointing to their victory; there was no way to foresee Mayura’s arrival. HM didn’t win, but is no longer alone against them. From a narrative pov, in my humble opinion, it is a nice season finale to set up S3.
-S3: Battle of the Miraculous, LB makes a mistake born of jealousy, leading to the capture of Master Fu, HM claiming the Miracle Box and Chloe’s betrayal. Aftermath: Fu’s gone, temp heroes’ identities revealed to HW and Mayura, the translation of the grimoire is in enemy hands, allowing him to repair the broken Peacock miraculous, and Chloe starts hating LB. The heroes recovering the miracle box at the end is just a small win contrasted to everything else.
-S4: Shadow Moth’s Final Attack, the Miracle Box is in HM’s hands after LB makes another love-related mistake by being deceived by Felix into thinking he was Adrien; behold the rise of Monarch. Our heroes have their worst defeat so far.
-S5: The Final Day *insert TLOZ: Majora Mask’ Last Day theme*. Gabriel, the person who antagonized our heroes these five seasons, the one who was supposed to be defeated, brought to justice, manages to outsmart Bug Noire because she had faith in the man, and makes the wish. (Though I heard that Mari won because Gabriel didn't wish for Emilie at the end, so... it is supposed to be the heroes' victory, I guess?)
I'm pretty sure this came up somewhere in the comments or reblogs of my post about Marinette being written like a villain, but in the context of the finals, Gabriel is written like a classic superhero. The only exception being Origins which isn't really a final so I don't think it counts. Instead we'll do Volpina into Collector.
Season One: The heroes almost out Gabriel's identity, but he makes a last minute brilliant plan to save himself and beat his enemies, forever putting himself off their radar.
Season Two: Gabriel almost loses, but an unexpected ally swoops in to save him at the last second. She then becomes his new teammate for the rest of the show.
Season Three: Gabriel almost wins, but fails at the last moment due to a deus ex machina. Still, he ends the season with new knowledge that will make him stronger than ever as he faces his enemy in the coming fights.
Season Four: Gabriel once again loses the battle, leaving him in his darkest hour, only for another unexpected ally to swoop in and give him a major powerup, allowing him to go into the final season ready to put it all on the line.
Season Five: Gabriel once again loses the battle, but when all hope seems lost, his enemy's hubristic monologuing gives him the win, allowing him to achieve the victory he's been fighting for all along. He even gets to change his mind on what victory means for him, showing more growth than anyone else in this mess of a show. (For this, we're going to ignore the insane and deeply insensitive idea that being unable to live without your spouse is a happy ending and meaningful lesson about grief.)
To be fair, it's not totally unheard of for heroes to fail at the start or in the midgame, but I'm struggling to think of another show that did it this poorly. Usually, the heroes lose as a way to set up the plot for the next season or arc. During this follow-up plot, the heroes usually earn a new power or skill so they can come back and win. Miraculous doesn't do that. Things like Gabriel's season four win lead to nothing for the heroes even though a lot of us were expecting season five to see something like the heroes recovering a different miraculous every episode as Ladynoir came back stronger than ever now that the season four nonsense was done with.
But season five wasn't about getting the Kwamis back or about Ladynoir being stronger than ever. It was about Adrienette getting together and Gabriel being against that even though he was seemingly fine with it in both what-if episodes begging the question of what changed?
Season four wasn't about cool new guardian powers or rebuilding the team from scratch. All of the status quos were maintained. The only big difference was that Gabriel got the ability to use the peacock without dying even though it would have been infinitely more satisfying if season five had him dying from a broken miraculous instead of a cataclysm. Same plot, just without the complication of Adrien technically killing his father.
Season three wasn't about figuring out how to stop new villain Maurya. She only goes away because she gets too sick to fight. The heroes don't do anything to stop her. They just got lucky.
When you look at the various power ups that the show introduces - the potions, unification, new miraculous, etc. - there is no overarching narrative logic for why those power ups are being introduced. That's why they're often only used for something interesting in their intro episode. After that, they're just kind of there. I don't think they ever come back to save the day in a season final like you'd expect. The only one who gets lasting power ups that effect the whole season is the villain.
Heroes can also have less-than-perfect victories in satisfying stories. A lot of my personal favorites are a little bittersweet. But none of Miraculous' losses fit that bill either. The closest we get is the season five ending because the heroes did get the miraculous back, but it's hard to call that a victory. I'm not even sure why they need them back. Unless the story randomly decides that Ladynoir isn't enough for today's fight, the temp heroes aren't needed. That's why Ladynoir was perfectly fine for all of season five even though they were fighting a villain with every other power! It's actually really funny when you think about it. Heroes like Viperion should be at every fight because their powers feel essential. Yet Viperion only shows up a handful of times. Times when Ladynoir is suddenly struggling to win even though they've faced plenty of one-hit K.O. villains before. The show's internal logic is a mess.
Then again, this is also the show that consistently lets the villain's love empower him while the heroes' love leads to the end of the world, so I guess this is just kind of par for the course.
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phantobats · 2 days ago
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Batman is a reactionary in a world built on capitalism. Nothing Batman can do can change the world he lives in. Everything he does, even the "good things" are because in a world based on the exploitation of labor, there is no socialist movement to do the "good things" instead. Batman wouldn't need to build homeless shelters or whatever if homeless people weren't created via the exploitation system we live in.  
Batman is a comic book character who deeply reflects the moral systems that liberalism/capitalism is built off of. He represents the nihilist belief that systemic change is not actually possible, and it takes a hyper-competent moralist with billions of dollars to actually 'do good.' You consuming it without critical thought just continues to bind you to those moral systems.
While it’s true that Batman exists within a capitalist framework, many interpretations of the character (especially in modern comics) deliberately problematize his wealth, privilege, and the limits of his methods. Writers like Frank Miller, Scott Snyder, and Tom King have explored Batman's struggles with the moral contradictions of his mission. For example, Bruce Wayne’s wealth often alienates him from the very people he’s trying to help, showing the insufficiency of charity to solve systemic problems.
In The Dark Knight Returns (Miller), Batman is portrayed as a deeply flawed, almost authoritarian figure, making it easier for readers to question whether his methods are inherently virtuous.
In The Joker War (2020), Bruce Wayne loses his fortune, forcing him to operate without his usual resources. This challenges the idea that his power stems only from wealth and emphasizes his personal determination and relationships with others.
This way Batman’s stories might highlight the flaws of relying on wealthy individuals to address systemic issues, rather than celebrating it.
Anywho, Batman can be seen as more than just a literal billionaire fighting crime—he’s also a metaphor for resilience, trauma, and the moral struggle to do good in a complex world. While systemic critiques are valid, stories about individuals taking a stand against overwhelming forces can inspire people to take action in their own ways. Batman might not represent a socialist revolution, but his mythos still resonates with those who believe in fighting against injustice, even when the odds are impossible.
For example, Batman’s refusal to kill (in most versions) reflects a commitment to ethics even in a chaotic, violent world.
His mentorship of characters like Robin, Batgirl, and others shows the value of building community and empowering others to join the fight for justice.
This critique assumes that Batman is inherently a defender of capitalism and that consuming his stories passively reinforces capitalist ideologies. However, Comics are interpretive media: Readers and writers constantly reinterpret Batman’s stories, often through progressive or critical lenses. For example, many fans and creators have explored Batman’s stories as critiques of surveillance, unchecked power, or wealth inequality.
Not all media consumption is passive: Just because you enjoy Batman doesn’t mean you’re unaware of the problematic systems he represents. Many fans engage critically with the character, using him as a springboard to discuss systemic change rather than accepting the status quo.
Some might argue that Batman represents a kind of personal moral responsibility that is distinct from systemic critique. While systemic change is crucial, there’s value in stories that remind us of the importance of individual action. Batman doesn’t solve every problem, but he doesn’t ignore them either. His mission can be seen as a metaphor for personal accountability: even in a broken system, we have a duty to help others in whatever way we can.
This doesn’t mean abandoning systemic change—it means recognizing that systemic and personal actions aren’t mutually exclusive.
FInally, The beauty of Batman is his versatility. He’s been portrayed as everything from a campy detective (Adam West’s Batman) to a brooding antihero (The Dark Knight Trilogy). This adaptability allows writers and audiences to use him as a lens for exploring different moral, social, and political questions. While some versions of Batman reinforce capitalist ideals, others challenge them or exist outside that framework entirely. For example, some Elseworlds or alternate-universe stories imagine radically different takes on the character. Or, the recently debuted Batman Absolute version of the character, in which he is less wealthy and still continues with his crusade.
While the critique is insightful, it’s not the only way to view Batman. He can be seen as both a reflection of capitalist ideology and a vehicle for challenging it, depending on the interpretation. The real question might be: how can we engage with Batman’s stories in ways that spark critical thought and conversation, rather than passive acceptance of the systems they depict?
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yanderes-galore · 15 hours ago
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Oooh how about Yandere Macaque who grows attached to his new student ;)
Sure! Made the pairing vague as it can go either way.
Yandere! Macaque with Apprentice! Darling
Pairing: Romantic/Platonic
Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Controlling behavior, Gaslighting, Possessive behavior, Fear of abandonment, Isolation, Forced companionship/relationship.
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Macaque struggles when it comes to forming personal connections.
Ever since Wukong's betrayal, he hasn't let anyone get close to him.
That's been the reason Macaque acts the way he does, after all.
Macaque didn't expect to get attached to you.
In fact, he was hoping he wouldn't in fear of getting hurt again.
Macaque is manipulative and cunning....
Originally he took you in because he felt he could use you.
Similar to MK, Macaque felt you had potential.
He originally intended to make you a rival to MK, a way to continue sticking it to Wukong.
Not only that, but Macaque knows of the dangers the future holds...
He wants you prepared.
Macaque is a manipulative teacher.
He probably picked you as you were going through some negative things in your life.
As a being forced to be in the shadows, he understands your feelings all too well.
Isn't he benevolent when he takes you in?
He has you stay at a dojo with him, promising power and lessons.
Macaque preys on the vulnerable, which would make him be able to get in your head.
Macaque normally starts off as isolating.
He wants you to rely on him so he can influence your development.
He dismisses the idea of you having friends or family to go to.
You have duties to attend to.
He can't have his student falling behind if they wish to get stronger, right?
Macaque may actually be... anxious when his obsession starts.
Why does he feel excited when you pay attention to him?
Why does he enjoy your smile and presence?
He... He doesn't need companionship.
Yet it gets harder and harder to believe his own words when he looks at you.
He hates the idea of him being attached.
He doesn't need anyone, no recognition or anything.
But... Why must you be so adorable to him?
Why must he like it when you try your best?
You're trying to impress him... You look up to him...
... and he loves it.
Macaque craves that feeling of validation.
To see you look at him so eagerly, to want his praise?
It's more addicting than anything.
This results in Macaque using his earlier tactics... but for a different motive.
He still wants to isolate you, to make you focus on just him....
Yet it's not for lessons or to get back at Wukong.
Now it's because he craves your gaze on him.
Macaque needs you to look at him, to trip over yourself trying to impress him.
He's your teacher, your master, and now he's enjoying every second of it.
Sure, he's possessive, but he's always been selfish.
Macaque only cares for himself.
You make him want to give in to your comfort... to make you all his.
He feels no shame in keeping you with him at the dojo.
When you ask to leave, to speak with friends or family, he vetoes it....
"Friends? Family? Did you forget what I taught you? You can't trust anyone out there... No one but me, your teacher. Understand?"
Of course you listen, he listened to you when no one else would.
How could you not listen to teacher?
Macaque makes sure to keep you busy.
More lessons, more training, more chats....
At this point you live at the dojo.
Macaque always follows you around, practically becoming your shadow with how he looms over you.
To Macaque, it's all about messing with the mind.
He doesn't have to harm a soul himself if he wants you to himself.
He just needs to make you think you need no one else....
Macaque enforces this with his words, praising you and making you reliant on his praise and gifts.
Essentially... He love bombs you to make sure no one else gets your attention.
You can't betray him if he's all you have.
He tells you that you need him.
He says you're too weak on your own, that you need him to be strong.
Do you really want to be alone again?
I feel him manipulating you as your teacher and friend is bad enough.
But when romantic?
He's going to cling to you, he'll make you reliant on his touch just to drag you deeper into his web of lies.
Macaque doesn't care about showing off to Wukong and MK anymore.
Now he just wants you to be his, to keep him company.
He's scared he'll lose you, just like how he was hurt in the past.
So he'll hurt you just enough to make you reliant on him.
He can't lose you if he breaks you and builds you up.
He'll make you forget your old life, he'll have the darkness swallow you.
You'll be his student, his toy, all he ever wants and needs.
He won't need to hurt a soul as long as no one pries too much.
Even if they did, he's used to fighting.
He'll convince you anyone trying to come for you is trying to turn you against him.
You'd never leave your teacher all alone, would you?
No, He knows you wouldn't.
He'll do every dirty trick in the book to make you stay with him.
He'll gaslight you to make you trust him..
He'll bribe, lie, threaten, scold... everything.
As long as he gets in your head, he's won.
By this point, you'll always listen to teacher.
You live with him, train with him, eat with him, sleep with him...
Macaque knows by this point he'll never lose you, not when he's broken you in like this...
You'll be all his once you need him as much as he needs you... master and apprentice bound forever.
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medicsbountifulbreasts · 1 day ago
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Alr i need yall to walk with me
New batfam addition. A homeless teenage girl(im picturing around 16-17). She had to drop out of high school and is looking for a job but is struggling to find one due to how she looks. She hasnt had it easy on the streets, so she has scars on her face and body from various incidents. She has tried makeup, but nothing has worked to cover them yet.
Through some weird fucked up shenanigans she ends up finding out bruce wayne is batman bc she is trying to figure out how batman can live as a civilian when he should have so many identifying scars. She realizes that whoever batman is, he must be loaded to be able to afford the products, and theres only so many rich people in gotham with that build. She hunts the guy down while he's on patrol and demands to know what products he uses.
Bruce is astonished that this girl was
A) able to track him down
And B) was asking about his makeup routine
He gives her a list of the products he uses, and when that seems to satisfy her, he returns to his patrol.
A few days after that encounter, bruce can't stop thinking about the girl and her insane tracking skills. He does a background check and learns that she's just some homeless teen struggling to get by, and his weak heart can't help it. He sends alfred and tim (who is the closest in age to her) to find her and bring her to the manor.
The girl is shocked when bruce waynes butler and son come for her in one of the nicest cars she's ever seen. In the car ride to the manor, Tim is explaining that bruce would be interested in adopting her if she's open to the idea. He's not sure why he took an interest in her, but she would be an idiot not to accept. When they arrive she goes to meet bruce in his study and finds that he has a large gift basket of all of the products he had recommended to her.
Bruce tells her that he was incredibly surprised that she was able to track him down that night, and if she would like to stay here and work together with him, she would be more than welcome. He makes sure she understands that this was in no way a bribe to keep her quiet. If she chose to leave, he would do everything in his power to make sure she would still end up comfortable.
The girl, of course, accepts and becomes the newest Wayne daughter. Behind the scenes, she helps the batfam track down villains and robbers using both her uncanny intuition and her absurdly vast knowledge of gothams alleys, hideouts, and underground.
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zvtara-was-never-canon · 2 days ago
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“Aang fans have to reach hard to find any sort of “development” in his story, and to justify why it’s acceptable for him to put the lives of millions of people at risk to maintain feelings of purity despite other Avatars (including an Air Nomad) telling him his decision is selfish”
Thoughts on this take? I found it on “longing for rain” blog.
1 - Zuko had THE perfect opportunity to end the war by killing Ozai during the day of the eclipse, but he didn't do so because "It's Aang's fate" and Zuko has a very rigid idea of what "fate" means and how it should affect one's behavior. Iroh also refused to even try to HELP in the battle because it'd make him be seen as a power-hungry kinslayer (even though he had zero intention of becoming Fire Lord). Both of these things can be seen as selfish, especially since they're all about how it'll affect their OWN image, yet only Aang gets labeled selfish. If everyone is throwing the burden on his shoulders, they can shut the fuck up about how he handles said burden.
2 - One of Aang's reasons to not want to kill Ozai is because HE'S TWELVE AND DOESN'T WANNA MURDER SOMEONE, even someone who deserves it. He never asked for this responsibility. He cannot be blamed for Sozin and every Fire Lord after him being a monster, or for Roku's inability to do anything despite being an adult. He's a child. This is not his mess to fix, and yet...
3 - He's not simply going "Sorry, guys, I don't feel like killing Ozai, guess you're all gonna die." He's trying to find alternative solutions - and when he can't find one, he ACCEPTS killing Ozai (and even almost does it AFTER being taught about energybending), despite...
4 - Him being a pacifist and wanting to stay true to his beliefs. He's not trying to be "pure", as in "I'm better than all of you 'cause I don't want to kill", but as in "I don't wanna be a hypocrite that preaches one thing but does the opposite" - thought I suppose I can understand how someone how tries to get praised by trying to pass off AI bullshit as actual art made by them would have a problem with a main character that vallues being an honest person.
Aang's development is not the same as Zuko's of "I need to completely alter my way of thinking" because AANG WAS NOT THE ONE SUPPORTING GENOCIDE. This doesn't make Zuko a better written, more realistic, or "more developed" character, it means he used to be a monster and now he isn't one anymore.
Aang's entire struggle is constantly having the world trying to beat his innocence and humanity out of him so he is nothing BUT the Avatar, just a super soldier/weapon that lives to sacrifice everything for everyone else's sake, while getting nothing in return because "it's his duty." His character arc is about realizing these "necessary evils" aren't actually necessary at all, and that he CAN save the world without destroying his spirit and identity in the process. He doesn't have to see the "error of his ways" because he was not the one in the wrong for saying "Fuck you, I'm a PERSON, not your sacrificial lamb."
And idiots like this particular dumbass would realize it (or rather, admit it) if they only they didn't have a giant stick up their pretencious ass and could get over the fact that their fanon ship "lost the ship war" TWENTY FUCKING YEARS AGO!
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atangledfate · 1 day ago
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She felt her heart tighten seeing that carrier descend from above like a great whale breaking through the water. Her body trembled hearing the strange voice announce the intent to destroy shard. It felt like her world was crashing down around her all at once. The fear of what Eggman would do to her seemed to be so overwhelming and it was only matched by her regret that Shard would be caught in the crossfire. For a moment it felt like she was going to lose everything!
Yet her despair was met with his optimism and a determination she didn't really understand. How could he have so much hope, and drive to keep going against insurmountable odds. Yet it was like a light at the end of a tunnel, something she could cling onto and pull herself out of her own despair.
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" ... But there are so many... How can we hope to win against a whole fleet? "
She wasn't made for combat or at least she didn't think so. The fear of losing her life, the fear of his death were hard to push past. Her eyes dropping from the carrier to see Shards hand, and the fact he had a plan. Yet she was still unsure, still struggling to push past her despair and yet, Pearl zipped around her and shard with a buzzing hum! Landing on Shards head and patting her little tentacles on his metal head like a trumpet charge! The Ivory wisp was ready to fight to the end for Nicole, and that kind of bond was what made wisps so special wasn't it?
Slowly Nicole Pulled herself up from the ground where she'd fallen and dusted herself off. She didn't know if she could really help, she had no idea if what was coming or if they'd make it out alive. But she believed in Shard, and more then that--- She didn't want to be what ever Eggman had decided she'd be. She was her own person, her own organism and she'd find her own way in this world. No matter what he made her to be! This was her life now!
She reached out and took his hand in hers gripping on tightly!
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" Alright... I Trust you..."
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From above in the egg carrier the Hologram floated in the command center. Though to say she was there would be false. She was here, and in all the badniks below, as well as the carrier itself and all through out the eggnet. She was a presence that extended to all her father's networks. She wanted what was meant to be hers, a gift from her father stolen from her before the time was right. Repurposed technology--- but she did question if it was right for her to take it now.
After all it seemed to have gained its own personality? But she had her orders, she'd speak with the doctor on this anomaly later.
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" It seems they intend to fight... my calculations indicate that my present force is insufficient to defeat a Metal Series at full power under normal circumstances. However, I already see a flaw in his armor... i will simply exploit his desire to protect the prototype... minor damage is acceptable parameters "
She began to mobile a her forces, intending to injure the Prototype in order to force Shard to protect her. In doing so she would be able to damage him and if all went well eliminate him. Though her scans were having trouble penetrating the area around them as if something was blocking her attempts. It was concerning but nothing she could not handle.
" All units converge on target, Alpha group set weapons to 20% power and target the Prototype... Beta and Gamma Squads target the rogue unit with full power! prepare to engage! "
Her first real test since her recovery from her battle against the End. This would prove to her father once and for all she was more then ready to engage with the enemy!---though she still lacked memory fragments from the island. It wouldn't hinder her going forward.
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"Gee, thanks sis. Really feeling the sibling love, right now," Shard mutters sarcastically when Sage calls for his obliteration.
Sure, this Sage is different from the one who helped rebuild him. The Sage he knows is from two hundred years in the future, where Eggman has long since lived his life and her main priorities changed after a few decades of grieving the loss of her father.
Still kind of hurts to see her so cold to him, one of her very few "surviving" family members in the future, even if she's more familiar with his replacement in the present.
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"And I already told you. I'm NOT leaving you here." Shard declares with absolute certainty. "We're both going to get out of this, together. I won't accept any other outcome."
"You and I are one and the same. Who CARES who made us, we're our own people who can make our own decisions, to look like and be who we are without restriction. Anyone who takes that away from us, our creator be damned, can shove it!"
And sure, the numbers are overwhelming, but Shard isn't going to let that stop him. Sage can play on the weaknesses she thinks he has all she likes. The old Metal Sonic would have taken them all at once, alone, even to his own detriment to prove himself superior.
Shard has changed. He's grown, and he knows he has shortcomings. Which means he won't be able to do this alone.
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"I've got an idea. Is your wisp willing to lend us both some power?" Shard asks, drawing on the battle data he's gathered from two hundred years worth of info.
"If it is, we're gonna try to Double Boost down the entire speedway. I've already sent Silver a distress signal and we'll try to meet him on the other side for backup to even these odds. If we're lucky, he'll convince the real Sonic to come with him."
"It doesn't matter how much firepower they have if they can't catch up to us. If we can pull this off, we're faster."
He holds his hand out for Nicole to take, before shooting her a soft smile.
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"What do you say, partner? Do you trust me?"
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blue-eli · 3 months ago
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Ink October day 11: Firebreak
A strip of land that has been cleared, plowed, or planted with fire-resistant vegetation to prevent a fire from spreading.
#kh riku#riku kingdom hearts#kingdom hearts riku#riku kh#dream eater riku#kingdom hearts#kh#kingdom hearts dream drop distance#kh ddd#blue boi draws#ink october#ink october 2024#ink October 2024 day 11#I think this one might be my favourite of this years#it’s simple but I really like how it turned out#anyway Riku as a firebreak but instead of fire it’s darkness. guy who is darkness resistant who helps keep back the darkness#Riku using his darkness as a sorta ‘controlled burn’ method of fighting darkness#honestly darkness as a natural force vs darkness as a corrupting force… Riku having natural darkness and using it in a controlled way#to avoid build up that could be used against him by others with ill intentions#honestly Riku and how he deals with his darkness is really interesting. like local 16-17 yo figures out stuff on his own that keyblade#wielders have struggled with for ages. I think his method would be a big help to Terra in particular.#I feel like what Xehanort was teaching him was less controlled burn and more use it with reckless abandon. like he talked a lot of shit#about ‘controlling the darkness’ but we know he was just trying to foster the darknesses control on Terra so he could use it to fuck with#him. Terra would definitely be hesitant to try to learn again after that but hopefully Riku will be able to communicate the base idea of it#inbetween searching for Sora.#honestly Darkness and it’s connection to fire is interesting to me. there’s maleficents green fire. that one move Riku uses a lot.#the appearance of darkness resembling fire is common (it’s either that or goop. shout out to darkness goop) which is odd#because fire is a light bringer. it’s probably meant to pull on the consuming power of fire but still#anyway i love him
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bunnieswithknives · 4 months ago
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sorry if idk this but what do you think about Wordgirl now in 2024 do you still like it do you still want to make art or talk about it or are you just done with all of it forever and plus i seen that you haven't made art of it since 2022 so you just done with all of it oh yeah and what about The Magnus Archives + Wordgirl ao3 fic too like is that just going to be and i know that your working on 2 au's now just wanting to know that's all
My interests tend to come in intense bursts and then fade. Unless something like, big happens like it gets a reboot its unlikely I'll be coming back to it anytime soon. As for the fic I don't have any current plans to finish it unfortunately.
#Its so shocking whenever anybody mentions that fic to me#like its just such a specific combo of interests how are there this many people interested in it...#I have some fragments of unfinished chapters for it laying around but I was struggling to get them to work#and I definitely dont have the motivation to finish them now#If youre curious the chapters were going to be Slaughter avatar miss Power and Web avatar Mr Big#and possibly Flesh avatar Butcher but I never got around to starting that one#The Miss Power chapter was basically going to be about her having kind of lost her thread#I wanted to leave a lot of ambiguity as to what happened with her home planet#but she hadnt been in contact with them for agessssss and her radio is damaged and her ship is in bad shape#the chapter was just going to be her being like 'pfff I dont interpersonal connection Im doing great out here. Murdering. All on my own'#Well she has her little squirl thing but she treats him like an animal#mr giggle cheeks or whatever#anyway I wanted it to imply that whatever happened her bloodthirst was destroying her#The Mr Big chapter was from Lesley's perspective#She would have been one in a long long line of assistants that Mr Big went through like candy#Lesley is his favorite though because. while she is terrified of him. shes still willing to push him. to be honest with him#but she also knows exactly when to step off. when to lie to appease him#( its always a tossup as to whether he wants a sweet lie or the harsh truth that day. He can always tell either way#its a gamble he does to be cruel. She always picks right though. or maybe he's more lenient with her than he should be)#He likes that she knows exactly how to push him without ever stepping over the line#He likes that her guilt and revulsion are slowly eating her up inside but shes too selfish to leave#She likes being special. She likes the idea of ruling the world alongside him#She'll always be second in command but shell be so much higher than everyone else#and shes willing to do anything to get that#Mr big doesnt think shell ever make it that far#but he likes her anyway#shes the one assistant he'll be sad about dying#OK damn apparently I did still have things to say about this old fic DAMN#still not gonna finish it tho. they call me the struggler becaus.e writing is a struggle...
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ahalliance · 2 months ago
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qantoine’s coping mechanism to feeling left behind being both self-isolating and becoming possesive of those he cares for is so juicy as a concept . like yeah you go you funky creachure, manifest those complicated and sometimes contradictory emotions
#anyone remember that one fanart of qantoine like . grabbing onto qetoiles and covering his mouth antoine reposted to his insta story .#anyone wonder what was up with that . like he reposted fanarts every now and again but like . that one specifically was such a Choice on hi#part . fantastic fanart btw it occupies space in my brain still#but yeah god . i think qantoine’s self-isolation (+ his secrecy the way he struggled generally to connect with others etc)#was the more obvious Thing he did as a coping mechanism . but damn were those smaller moments of possessiveness interesting#bc you could often just read it as protectiveness instead and well it Was that . but i think it becomes even more interesting if u read it#through a possesive lens . theyre two sides of the same coin anw it just depends on where the limit between the two lies for u#anw i think it manifested itself most obviously with pomme bc a parent-child relationship lends itself to that dynamic more . ough some goo#moments there i’d need to revist their relationship more . ‘je te connais comme si je t’avais créé’ which just has layers of potential#meaning . if you subscribe to the theory that qantoine had a hand in creating the eggs then that adds even More to the potential#possessiveness there . love it#and it manifested with qfrench too i think just in more subtle ways . like idk when there were implications he’d done a Thing to help them#out in some way . like the implication that he had a hand in getting ayp out of prison that one time . or when he was protective of etoiles#during prison . or even moments where he failed to achieve some sort of level of power over them like when bagz and ayp broke into his#secret room and he kept giving bagz the cold shoulder when she was trying to apologise to him 😭 . idk stuff like that . semi petty bitch#energy . but i LOVE the idea of this eldritch dude who’s still figuring out how mortal relationships work kinda just . being too possessive#too controlling . all in the effort to try and keep them in One Piece . and maybe in the end it won’t matter How he keeps them safe as long#as he manages to . he’s old as hell and he’s probably gonna outlive them and theyre all so fragile and small . they won’t see the bigger#picture so he’ll have to make sure he’s manoeuvring them around inside it correctly . <- absolute hc territory in the end there but it’s#very fun to think about :P#jay rambles#antoine daniel#qfrench.posting
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brain-depositary · 5 months ago
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Okay you know what I’m just gonna go ahead and say it: after seven years, there’s GOT to be an element of willfulness to this. Maybe not consciously but we cannot say that Jayce is baby-boy earnestly naive at this point. He is bending to his society’s norms and doesn’t know how to interrogate it.
And also like I’m gonna be blunt here but this is also an element to the reason why people read Viktor as trans-coded, because like this dynamic of him being assumed to be “just” low-level help who isn’t worth engaging with seriously in combination with his desire to assert himself yet his reluctance to because of the social consequences would be, I’m just going to say this bluntly, more obvious if he was a woman. But he’s not, so people’s attention just kind of drifts over it to the point of completely misinterpreting the conflict entirely.
The real sign of the inevitable dissolution of Jayce and Viktor's partnership/friendship really was the Progress Day Speech. I've seen people say this scene highlighted the growing shift in priorities between Jayce and Viktor. That Jayce was getting swept up in the limelight while Viktor wanted to keep it humble and stick to the work, and that's wrong.
First thing's first, Viktor does in fact want to go on stage (he was excited to just demonstrate the hexclaw), and Jayce is sincere in that he wants to share the spotlight and credit for hextech with Viktor. The problem in that scene is that for practically 7 years, Jayce has failed to see what's actually going on.
Jayce can't see that his face and only his face is on the mugs, the blimps, and the very banners that decorate the hall he's supposed to give a speech in. Jayce can't see that the Councilors direct all their questions on hextech to him while Viktor sits right next to him. Jayce doesn't notice that Mel, the most perceptive Councilor, still thought of Viktor as Heimerdinger's assistant (she didn't know they were close??!?!). He doesn't realize that the discussion on weaponizing hextech is centered on him rather than between him and his partner. Viktor isn't the one being invited to Piltover's parties for a reason.
Between Jayce and Viktor, they're partners on equal grounds, but to EVERYONE else in Piltover Viktor is practically a non-entity. The only person who doesn't get this is Jayce. It's a testament to Jayce's earnest naivette to think Viktor, as a Zaunite and visibly disabled, would be easily welcomed on stage by Piltover's elite to represent what Piltover has to offer. You'll notice this is the same crowd of people that attend Mel's Gala, the same Gala Viktor wasn't invited to.
This dynamic is insane!?!?! It's unsustainable!!!!! Obviously, Viktor is a grown man and could have mentioned something to Jayce, but also it's at least 7 years, how does someone miss this?!?!
By their last scene of the finale, Jayce was able to give Viktor a voice on the Council by literally standing by his side and giving him a seat at the table, but like peace treaty, the gesture has come far too late, and things cannot return to as they were.
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my-thoughts-and-junk · 5 months ago
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thinking about superheroes unfortunately
#random thoughts#let me daydream about batman in peace#love the dynamic between spiderman and deadpool#it's that kind of dynamic i love where two people have power over each other in different ways#like spiderman is a well-loved public figure and deadpool's idol while deadpool is a dangerous mercenary with regeneration powers#physically deadpool probably outmatches spiderman through sheer dogged perseverance#while in the public eye spiderman is more well-liked AND deadpool is feverishly obsessed with him#i'm gonna keep forgetting the hyphen between spider and man btw fuck the world#loving the idea of a spiderman who KNOWS deadpool can do better and believes in him while deadpool gives him a space where HE can be himsel#like spiderman has so many masks he has to put on around other people#i think deadpool should be one of the few people he can truly let himself loose around#yknow before he can get to a point where he can reveal he's peter parker#also i think peter parker in his ideal state suffers from severe identity and self confidence issues#like he thinks spiderman is a seperate persona he puts on which is superior to himself in every way#(okay seperate thought: DID spiderman. the spider bite being so traumatic it led to him creating a split personality to cope.)#(or separate. whatever.)#also age difference. peter should be in his mid-twenties while deadpool should be in his thirties. need more power imbalance#also they're both sa survivors and their personalities could be interpreted as them handling it in vastly different ways#with deadpool being hypersexual and spiderman being flirtatious yet distant and peter parker being borderline celibate#though honestly i could leave spiderman being an sa survivor given it was a whole 'gay people are all predators' psa#also i think spiderman should have been held back in high school. due to struggles relating to being spiderman#so he graduated late and now he's going to community college#peter parker has the luxury of going incognito. wade wilson will always be stared at no matter what he's wearing#deadpool who every superhero hates. spiderman who every superhero organization is trying to recruit desperately#also i think peter should admire wade. physically. built like a brick shithouse that one#also the third act low point CAN'T be about spiderman feeling guilty because deadpool kills people#okay? it's overdone. we've seen it. it's lame#i prefer when their opposing views on murder are treated in a more 'death penalty or no' way rather than assuming deadpool is always wrong#because spiderman's idyllic 'people can change' beliefs can be just as wrong as deadpool's 'assholes deserve to die' beliefs#and spiderman has definitely killed people are you kidding me. both accidentally and on purpose
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phoenixcatch7 · 2 years ago
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I want to write. A saiki k x superman crossover. SO BAD.
Luckily for me, I have actually seen both shows/media (to an extent), which feels increasingly rare these days lmao. I've got two ideas, and I don't know which one I like more. I will say this ended up being a LONG POST.
Either an accidental dimension cross, where saiki gets teleported to dc. He spends a couple hours figuring out what's going on, exploring his options and getting important lore via telepathy, but without being willing to mind control some hotel for a room or whatever he winds up people watching atop a skyscraper in some American city, just absorbing the concepts of public power use and heroes and aliens and all sorts. Reflecting on it's differences. That's when Clark decides to check in on this kid who hasn't moved for hours on patrol. Their heartbeat is calm, no stress, so he wasn't worried but he really should check.
Saiki, of course, has heard all about superman. What's available to the public, at least. An alien. He might feel better if he were an alien, at least then he'd know why. He doesn't really expect him to appear, but maybe he should have. Because it's only seconds after they greet each other and superman moves to sit down that saiki is hit with a plethora of background subconscious that's he's so used to himself. 'check your grip don't react move slower look away from the skeleton check your grip you didn't hear that relax your eyes you'll need to reapply bruise makeup after yesterday check your grip don't get distracted ignore ignore ignore-'
Ah. Maybe here. Here is someone who... Might understand.
I think they'd get on very well. Secret identities because you just want a normal life. Sometimes you can't help to help. You know a million private things you shouldn't and it's not your fault. No one ever shuts up even when they're silent and you're living in a world of cardboard. Superman would definitely check saiki was actually human XD. Maybe a bit of banter. Saiki gets to vent and talk and supes gets someone who isn't a blood relative lol. They talk until sundown and watch the shrimp colours and after Clark treats saiki to something sweet.
The other is a world fusion au, where saiki grows up alongside aliens and demons and maybe superheroes. Would it be better if he was the same gen as the jl or maybe younger?
What if saiki was kryptonian though. Some weird flavour. And his parents never think about it because baby saiki decided they were his parents and so they were. They just found a weird hunk of metal in the mountains on their honeymoon and little kusuke was so young he'd clean forgotten he had a new baby brother! He got over it though! So saiki grows up not knowing and eventually finds a cheap germanian ring, with a fake emerald in the center. It's blissfully silent, but wearing it too long makes him feel a bit nauseous. To be fair, blocking his own powers probably isn't very healthy. He heard there would be an eclipse tonight, over the ocean, and he wants to go see.
He's not alone. There's someone else there, also flying high above the ocean, hundreds of miles away from any land mass. His thoughts are - blurred, a bit faint, like a radio channel he's not properly tuned in to.
The other person, they noticed him too. They're miles apart, it shouldn't be possible. Another psychic?
I don't know which way it would go from there. If it was a same age, it'd be before everything hits the fan, narratively. Saiki and Clark would spend after school going to each others houses (though 80% of the time saiki would be the one going to Clark's) across continents, bonding and testing each others powers, getting into petty challenges. They both would be so good for each other, as equals, and saiki especially needs healthy friendships at that age. Then Mrs Kent mentions how Clark was found one night over dinner, blindsiding saiki because it just never came up in their everyday lives. Everyone assumes saiki was too, that he must be whatever Clark is, but he's not...?
And then they find the fortress of solitude. Meet jor el. And yeah, he very much is.
Psychic, yes. Human? Not so much. In fact, his parents were famous oracles who predicted the death of krypton to such an extent they were dismissed as fear mongers despite their powerful abilities. Jor had shared ship tech with them but never knew if they managed to use it.
Featuring several major identity crises for poor saiki and eventually a hero partner because Japan might be left mostly alone but metropolis sure isn't and unlike saiki supes can't duplicate himself (he's holding out for a yet but saiki just rolls his eyes at him when he says that). There's eight people who found the jl. Saiki REALLY likes mm. Batman is a traitor to normality.
If it were canon ages, there'd be a lot of mentor adoption. Saiki would appear helping to stop some alien invasion with his bare hands and then bows and tries to duck away. He isn't interested in hero stuff no siree but supes keeps politely tricking him into coming round to the farm, where he meets kids in similar situations (bcz supes adopts kon here f u) and sees how they handle it. Lots of tag teaming and attempts at pranking that all fail the saiki k way. There's so much else in the world they don't doubt saikis just Like That Psychic until he brings his ring. They all hone in immediately that 'that's kryptonite' and saiki maintains that it's the metal not the gem that muffled him until someone straight up steals the gem off the ring and he freezes in horror.
Lots of hijinks including 'you're supposed to be in school! Not JAPAN' and packs of overpowered teenagers roving the Japanese mountains looking for a possible krypton pod. Kusuke is feeling VERY VALIDATED RN and also incomprehensibly furious. It's a comedy of errors whenever any of them show up at saikis school or when he's with his friends. His parents remain oblivious while he grapples with either telling them he's adopted (painfully ironic), somehow undoing a decade and a half of mind control, how he'd even go about it... Makoto wakes up one night in Brazil because he made a comment in his house when kon was staying over for tea at saikis.
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unproduciblesmackdown · 2 years ago
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like hearing an autistic person talking abt realizing like "oh so friendships for some ppl don't involve always having to maintain a performance" and going damn right yeah and now "oh so friendships for some ppl involve their getting to expect that the other ppl will be interested in them and provide support" like huh go figure. more surprising like oh right i guess i always felt like interactions require maintaining a performance that can only go wrong (generally true; like there's no "well you're ruining things by keeping ppl from being the Real You so just Be Yourself" like a] masking isn't Real or done by Yourself or b] like if you unmask people like you now & ableism is over, b/c it was your fault for reacting to it in the first place) & thus also that i should be interested & provide support but not expect that in turn / the sense as well that you are/can only come up short and have things to make up for anyways while lucky whoever's even providing the time of day
then it's always an Exercise to go "oh right well beyond going [my god autistic character] the whole time, what Things re: winston billions was i still not quite seeing as as unusual / Not Good as they are. even for billions" like sure noticing he's holding on to the hopes of some kind of positive / actual relationship w/rian for like year 950 & this manifesting with the Determined Friendliness but zooming in like oh i guess that adamant amicability sure involves winston suppressing a negative reaction to negative treatment and yet still hoping for an improvement, which like, was always Possible but a) hinged on rian simply choosing to change how she regards/treats him (or someone intervening to change the situation) & b) apparently is not going to happen. thinking like yeah that's very Friendly of him. and knowing like man winston's sure still trying to keep this friendliness offer open for like two years. but also now more specifically going like Yeah and pretty fucked then that his baseline expectations don't include that Mutual Interest & Support (though someone being abusive is definitely interested just not in any good ways. and certainly not (actually) supportive)
#and then in immediate retrospect it's like I Mean I Knew It & even now to be saying it feels like i've effectively already said it#just more precise/specific Language available. & where even if it's like [restating this one idea] that's gonna say smthing new / a bit dif#winston billions#from the [immediately going HM HUH first time seeing his clips but taking months to be like He's Autistic(tm) Btw IMO] to now struggling to#say another Ay Word in discussing [he has a devoted workplace bully] as Abuse(tm) when plenty of what's abusive is considered ''normal'' or#correct or even Ideal while defining Abuse as xtreme outliers due to evil intentions & extraordinary situations (that you should avoid)#it's power structures & efforts to control & use/refuse people as things....plenty of ppl who can feel they're just acting Normal & Natural#while other ppl in entire groups Do have to perform which can only go wrong & be hurt / get that everyday trauma from their Normalcy.#those allistic social skills huh (again tldr invoking this concept just Is ableism....)#after a casual twenty plus years w/the gradual convergence of [figuring out i'm autistic] & [not blaming myself for being mistreated b/c#i'm autistic] does put a damper on expectations re: all interactions but it's like the way someone put it the other day#who hasn't said anything abt being autistic but that they don't think anyone's guaranteed any kinds of relationships/companionship incl#friendships (which i agree with; & it's not at all uncommon for ppl to be hard up for those out here. despite ppl treating socializing like#a meritocracy like hmm anyone doesn't have friends? sounds like that's on you not getting good / deserving that) & so he consciously#navigates how to like be genuinely satisfied w/a life that's just got him in it while being open to other ppl. thinking of how i've heard#abt Just That re: autistic ppl (but framed specifically re: dating; like might want a romantic relationship but ofc no one's guaranteed one#of those either (even if this too is definitely treated like in fact you Are guaranteed one & it is Again a meritocracy) And ofc there's#more barriers/hurdles for autistic ppl) & just going like yeah i've sure been always navigating that too while being open to ppl sure but#not feeling like i need that to change & sure asf not focusing on Putting Myself Out There lmao. i put myself out there by existing & by#saying things & by trying not to try to preemptively appease/appeal to anyone. seeing another quote today abt how they're nonverbal & this#results in being regarded as hostile like eugh been there enough; classic [putting myself out there] dramedy of terrors from back in the#day as a teen living on college figuratively sprinting around trying to figure it out; both the Autistacity & Abuse lol. & racking up more#of the latter for the former while i'm at it....nowadays like. certainly recent successes in [spontaneous alignments of being friends] had#to start w/like weeks into months of i'm not expecting someone else to have interest & in fact Am expecting; if nothing else; them to#realize w/e interest motivates them to talk w/me to be mistaken or w/e. as i'm struggling not to mask / beating back efforts to actively#appeal to anyone. being duly surprised when after months they still feel like talking to me. & even then just kind of entering another#phase of ''well but still'' lol like when interactions have largely felt like Buying Time at best#def on the same page as that guy like even [have friends] is not a Need. when i could go ''time to recharge socially'' & make it happen#what i like to do is go be in public '''''by myself'''' around ppl. truly the good shit. doing that kind of shit w/ppl has = nth wheeling.#now insert a short essay spinning off all this abt an approach to Language parallel to [concepts re Socializing] as tag thirty
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