#and the way he cares for his friends and especially max? a better man has never lived

[hellinhawkins]

did you guys know that i love lucas sinclair very much

[cutielando]

happy | l.n.

synopsis: in which you guys get married

my masterlist

"Why am I so nervous?" you asked Cisca and your mother, both of them helping you get the last things ready on your dress while simultaneously trying to calm you down.

"Darling, you're going to give yourself a panic attack if you don't stop stressing" Cisca said, your mother agreeing with her.

You sighed, staring at your reflection in the mirror while the 2 mothers worked around you.

Your wedding day has been something you have waited for your entire life. The day Lando proposed, you felt one step closer to living your dream. Seeing yourself in your wedding dress all glammed up made tears well up in your eyes, but you kept them at bay.

It was supposed to be a perfect day, after all. You were marrying the love of your life in front of all of your families.

A knock on your door made you look anxiously towards the closed doors, your nerves worse than ever. 

Adam, Lando's father, poked his head inside, his eyes landing on all three of you.

"Are you ready?" he asked, eyeing you up and smiling.

"I'm nervous" you admitted, making him chuckle and enter the room, closing the door behind him.

Due to the fact that your father had passed away when you were young, Adam decided to step up and be the one walking you down the aisle.

Something that brought tears to your mother's eyes when he had first suggested it.

"Trust me, you can't be more nervous than the groom himself. He's been stressing about ever since he woke up" Adam reassured you, hoping it would make you feel slightly better.

It did, in all honesty. It made you chuckle as well, already imagining Lando stressing over every single small thing that you could possibly think of. His shoes weren't right, his tie was crooked, his curls weren't on point, you name it.

He was a perfectionist at heart, especially on this day since he wanted everything to be perfect. You deserved a perfect wedding day.

"Honey" your mother took your hands and smiled. "You remind me of myself on my wedding day to your father. I was a nervous wreck the entire we were planning the wedding, but when I saw your father waiting for me at the alter, nothing else mattered in that moment. You and Lando love each other dearly and you're going to have an amazing life together. Go out there and get your boy, leave the nerves at the door"

You nodded and hugged her tightly, burying your face in her neck.

"I'm ready" you told Adam once you pulled away, taking his arm.

"Let's get you married"

♡♡♡♡♡

As the music started playing and the big oak doors opened, your eyes immediately landed on your soon-to-be husband waiting for you, Max and his brother by his side.

Adam and you slowly walked towards him, smiling at the guests all around you. 

Once you reached Lando, Adam took your hand and clasped it in his, smiling at you with tears in his eyes.

"Take care of him for us" he said, making everyone in the room swallow down a giggle.

"I will" you whispered back, squeezing his hands before turning towards Lando.

Your eyes were locked on each other, a silent conversation taking place. He looked dashingly handsome, his tux amazing on his fit physique.  You really hit the jackpot with him.

"Hello, everyone" the reverend began speaking. "We are gathered here today to celebrate the marriage between these two exceptional young people, Y/N and Lando. I can see how excited the bride and the groom are, so I won't make this any longer than it should be. Y/N, Lando, have you prepared your vows?" you both nodded, and then the reverend motioned for you to go first.

You let out a deep breath, taking Lando's hands in yours.

"Way to make me break the ice, reverend" you joked, making everyone laugh including Lando. "Lando, you're my best friend, my partner in crime, my gaming buddy, the absolute love of my life, the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. When we met all those years ago, I could only dream of reaching this day, the day that would make you officially mine forever. I'm grateful for everything that you do for me, for being who you are and for loving me despite my flaws. You always know what to say, you always know how to make me feel loved and appreciated. I'm proud of everything that you do, of how successful your career is and how much potential you're always showing. I love you, and I cannot wait to spend the rest of my days loving you and enjoying life by your side"

Everyone in the room was crying, your mothers holding onto each other as they silently cried in their tissues.

"Y/N, light of my life, I'm so proud of us for being here today. Ever since I laid my eyes on you when we first met, I knew you would be the woman that I would marry. You bring a light and stability in my life that I've been lacking for as long as I can remember. I can be myself when I'm around you, I can escape the fame and pressure when it's just the two of us, just how I want it to be. You have been nothing short of supportive in my career, coming to my races and cheering me on, believing in me when I didn't believe in myself. I cannot thank you enough. I promise to always love you and care for you, keep you safe and show you just how grateful I am to have you in my life. I love you so damn much and I cannot wait for you to finally become a Norris"

You smiled, tears threatening to fall from your eyes and ruin your perfect makeup, but you didn't care in that moment. The only thing you cared about was Lando.

"Do you have the rings?" the reverend asked, and Max quickly got the velvet box out of his pocked and gave it to Lando.

He took out the rings, giving you his while he took yours.

"Y/N Y/L/N, do you take Lando Norris to be your lawfully wedded husband, to live together in holy matrimony, to love him, to honor him, to comfort him, and to keep him in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live?"

"I do" you almost yelled out, making everyone chuckle due to how eager you were.

"Lando, do you take Y/N Y/L/N to be your lawfully wedded wife, to live together in holy matrimony, to love her, to honor her, to comfort her, and to keep her in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live?"

"I do" Lando smiled.

You both put your rings on each other's fingers, smiling like two idiots in love while waiting for the part of the ceremony that you had been looking forward to.

"By the power invested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife. Lando, you may kiss your bride" the reverend hadn't even finished what he was saying before Lando wrapped his arms around your waist and kissed you.

Everyone cheered for you, clapping and whistling for the two newlyweds.

As you pulled away, you didn't acknowledge anything around you except for Lando, your husband.

Finally, your husband.

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[vroomvro0mferrari]

CL16 | Awkward Advances

Summary: You are best friends with Alex Albon. When you go to the bar with him and his driver friends, you decide to shoot your shot. But with the amount of drinks consumed, it doesn't go as smoothly as planned.

Charles Leclerc x female!Reader

WC: 2.1K

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, maybe talking yourself down?

Masterlist

You have met Alex's friends many times. Every time he invited you to a race, he made sure you had someone to talk to when he was busy. Of course, most times his girlfriend Lily, who had also turned into your best friend, was there to keep you entertained, but when she wasn't, he set up some other people to take care of you. You had met many people that way: his engineer, his PR manager, and many other team members. But he also introduced you to several drivers: Nicholas Latifi, Nyck de Vries, Logan Sargeant, George Russel, Lando Norris, and even Max Verstappen and Charles Leclerc. You had conversations with all of them, and they were all great people to talk with, but Charles Leclerc was different.

Like many other girls, you thought he was really, really handsome, and so sweet as well. And you got along great, better than with any other of Alex's friends. It's safe to say you had at least a little crush on him. Who are you kidding, it's a pretty big crush, and it's been going on for quite a while. But you'd never actually made a move on him. Why would you? He would never like you back. It wouldn't make any sense, Charles Leclerc is famous and rich, surprisingly sweet, talented, intelligent, a great conversationalist and insanely attractive. What else could you wish for in a man? He has his pick of the litter, nearly any girl would love to be with him, so why would he choose the silly friend of one of his colleagues?

So, you never tried to make a move or flirt with him. Because you knew it wouldn't lead to anything, but also because you're a terrible flirt. You never know when's the right time to flirt, what to say, and you're always either too subtle or not subtle enough. It's a difficult balance that you've never managed to find.

Tonight, you are once again going out with Alex and his friends, including Charles. The night's been great, you've been dancing for hours, and you and Lily have made numerous new friends. Right now, you're sitting at the bar to get another drink, while Lily is joining Alex in the booth your group is occupying. As the night carries on, and the drinks keep coming, you are definitely moving from tipsy to drunk. When you finally receive your drink, you decide to join the rest of the group at the booth. Sitting next to Alex, leaning on him, you look around the group. Everyone had dressed up, ready for a great night out and enjoying the time spent with friends. And Charles, he looked so good. In the black button-up he was wearing, more buttons undone than done, and his messy hair. Your drunk mind could barely handle it and found it very, very difficult to focus your eyes elsewhere, and Alex wouldn't be him if he hadn't noticed your staring.

"You've been staring at him for a while now," he whispered, or at least it sounded like a whisper.

"Hm? What are you talking about?" You slowly turned your head back to the boy next to you.

"You're more obvious than you think. He'll notice soon."

You blushed as you realised Alex knew about your crush on his friend. You shouldn't be surprised though, Alex knows you through and through. He would have found out eventually.

"What are you talking about?" A drunk Lily asks you, bending around Alex to look at you properly.

Alex responds for you, "Y/N's crush."

Lily gasps. "You have a crush? Who is it?" She yells loudly.

Your eyes quickly dart over the group, ensuring they didn't overhear that just now. "Shh, not the whole world has to know." You look over the group again, before you move closer, "It's Charles." You're blushing again.

"You should go flirt with him!"

"Are you crazy? I can't flirt, especially when I'm drunk."

"Nothing like a little liquid courage to help you flirt. I'm sure you'll be fine!" Lily turns to Alex, "Come, let's get another drink!" and pulls him up, winking at you.

Fuck, should you do it? What does it matter anyway? If it ends badly, you can just blame it on the alcohol, right?

Just then, seeing you're left alone, Charles moves to sit next to you.

You turn to him.

"Hey, how are you doing?" You ask him.

"I'm good. Having fun." He smiles at you. To him, it's obvious you're drunk. He decided not to drink tonight and was completely sober, different from most of the group.

God, he looks so good. You are going to do this, no time like the present, right? "That's good. You look handsome tonight, clean up well," you say, moving your hand to touch his upper arm and looking into his eyes. You can feel your heart beating in your chest, but no matter how nervous you are, and how nervous he makes you, you're not backing down now.

"Uhm, thank you," he responds chuckling a bit. He did not expect that from you. He thought you were sweet and had noticed that you were always slightly flustered around him, and he also knew you were not very upfront and direct. He suspected you had a crush on him, but maybe you were just very shy, and behaved like this around everyone. Nevertheless, he had never expected you to say something like this - to flirt(?) with him like this, so straightforward. He's surprised, to say the least, and maybe feels a bit awkward at the situation too, because what is he supposed to do? But you don't notice, and continue.

"I mean, you always look good, but especially tonight." You smile with fake confidence.

He looks away from you, chuckling again, adjusting his body to subtly push you to the edge of the booth. Fuck, that hint is so clear it's hard to miss, even when you're drunk. Your smile falters as you realise he wants you to leave – to leave him alone. Your false, alcohol-induced confidence falls, realising you made a mistake doing this now. He obviously isn't into you. You knew this, yet you tried. You never should've.

"You're pretty drunk, no? Let me find Alex, hm? He can take you back?"

You nod softly, disappointed at his rejection. He now fully pushes you out of the booth, but sets you back as he stands up.

"I'm gonna find him, okay? You stay here."

You just nod, and sit still waiting for him to come back. God, you're so embarrassed. Why did you have to do this again? You knew this would happen, that he'd reject you. You feel the tears welling up in your eyes. You've never felt this embarrassed. You try and blink them away as you see Charles return with Alex and Lily.

"Let's get you home, yeah?" Alex says when he's back at the booth.

You feel like a toddler when he pulls you up and helps you walk out of the club to the taxi. This couldn't have ended worse.

In the cab, he asks you, "So it didn't work out?"

You shake your head and lean on his shoulder, Lily doing the same on the other side, as she speaks "I'm sorry, it'll be okay"

– – – – –

The headache in the morning was the worst. And the realisation of what you had done last night settling in certainly wasn't helping. Lily and Alex took you back to their room last night, and let you crash on the couch they had in their very luxury room.

They were already walking around and getting ready for breakfast when you first opened your eyes. You were moving around, trying to find a more comfortable spot on the very uncomfortable couch when Lily spotted you.

"Good morning sleeping beauty," she says way too excitedly for the time of the day. Actually, you don't even know what time it is, but you assume it's too early after a night out.

"How are you so cheerful right now? If I remember correctly you were just as drunk as me last night, if not more," you say grumpily, sitting up.

"Lots and lots of water, and aspirin." Lily smiles at you, grabbing you a glass of water and aspirin as well.

"So, you want to fill in the gaps on what happened with Charles last night? Before he came to get me?" Alex asked.

You groan, "I don't even want to think about it. It was so bad. I knew he would reject me, but I still tried anyway. It's so stupid. I'm so stupid for thinking it would work out."

"You're not stupid for trying. What did you say to him?" Lily continued, handing the water to you.

"I told him that he looked good and then he laughed at me, told me I was drunk and left to get you." You take a sip of water and take the pill. "I shouldn't have expected any differently. He never showed any signs that he was into me."

"What are you talking about? He's always staring at you when you're near," Lily says, confused.

"He's not. And even if he is, it doesn't matter because he rejected me last night." You sigh.

"I'm sorry, babe. I'm sure you'll find someone else who likes you just as much as you like them." She smiles sympathetically. "We're going down for breakfast now, you wanna join us?"

"Yeah, you go. I'll come down in a bit. I want to take a shower first."

You go to your room to take a shower as soon as Lily and Alex leave to go to the breakfast hall, where they meet the rest of the group.

"Hey, guys. How's [Y/N] doing? She was pretty drunk last night, no? Is she very hungover?" Charles asks as soon as Lily and Alex sit across from him.

"Nothing aspirin can't fix." Alex smiled.

"She was acting pretty weird last night, told me I looked handsome and stuff. I've never seen her acting like that."

"Yeah, that's why she never flirts. She sucks at it, and people always think she's acting weird," Alex says laughing.

Charles looks surprised. "That was flirting? She was flirting with me?"

"Yes, Charles. I thought you knew she liked you?"

Charles shrugged. "I didn't know for sure, but I suspected it, yes." He looked somewhat confused at the revelation.

"Look, maybe you should talk to her. She's really embarrassed about last night and would hate for things to get weird because you rejected her. Just to make sure everything's good between you two, you know?" Alex explained.

"I didn't reject her? I just—" Charles is interrupted.

"Hey, [Y/N]! How are you doing?" Lando asked her as you walked to the table.

"Hey, I'm fine. Just a bit hungover," you responded, a fake smile on your lips.

"I'm not surprised," he said laughing, "I've never seen you so drunk."

Your face flushed as you laughed awkwardly, taking place on the only available chair, next to Charles, of course.

You glare at Alex, knowing he did this on purpose. He shrugged his shoulders with a sneaky smile as he sipped his water. Naturally, he had to make sure the only open chair was the one next to Charles.

"You're not hungry?" Charles asked you, moving his face closer to your ear as the group moved on to the next topic.

"No, I don't think I can keep anything down right now," you responded with a small smile. "By the way, I'm sorry for last night. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or anything."

"Oh, you didn't make me uncomfortable. I just thought you were very drunk, and it would be better for you to go back to the hotel."

You smiled tightly, looking away to avoid any eye contact.

"I didn't mean to reject you if that's what it seemed like."

You kept staring at the table, but you could feel your face becoming hotter as you picked at your nails to keep yourself occupied.

"I didn't think you were serious. You really are a bad flirter." Charles chuckled again.

You're face was surely as red as a tomato right now.

"If you come to dinner with me sometime, I'll show you how it's done."

Could your face get any redder? You don't think so. You look up at Alex sitting across from you. He looked away, pretending not to overhear the one-sided conversation Charles was having with you.

You nodded your head. "Okay," you said softly.

Charles put his arm on the back of your chair, "Great!" He said with a cheeky smile.

[bymarara]

I want to talk about lovers lake and more specifically about one moment.

We all know very well that the lake of lovers is closely related to the Bylers, more about this is There are plenty of other blogs on Tumblr like this.

Let's just refresh our memory that in this lake of lovers, they found the fake body of Will Byers, in this lake, under the pressure of Troy, Mike Wheeler almost died because of jumping off the cliff, if it wasn't for El, he would have died.

Let's think back to season 4 now. When Max “died”, the gate to Lovers Lake opened very, very wide, as if the silhouette of Lovers Lake's heart had split apart, heart broken. What happened before Max's “death”. A declaration of love from Mike to Al.

Let us try to put everything in detail. Before the love confession scene, there was a conversation between Mike and Will about the painting and I'm a proponent that Mike realized what Will was saying about himself, even though he was afraid that it was his stupid fantasy. He had hope that it was mutual. I also stick to the fact that if Argyle had not interrupted them, Mike would have talked to El about the breakup and the reasons for it, it would have been easier for him to support the girl and be honest with her, but Argyle interrupted the moment for two people like El and Mike, the intimacy of the moment and further already, it was necessary to act and save Mike.

The moment when he confesses his love is very tense. Mike cares for El, we see him worrying as much as anyone, but when he doesn't know what to say to make her feel better, Will comes to the rescue. He says “Mike, you're the heart, you're the heart.”, this is where Wheeler probably hesitated in his sentences, he thought that everything Will said was true about El, you can see the disappointment on his face, the worried look on his face. Mike realizes that he'll have to hide his real feelings and other things again.

In the declaration of love, we are also shown just one moment as a flashback, we are shown just the moment of finding El, at that moment and in that interval, he treated her like a friend, like a sister. Just to compare the exact same scenes with Max, she has flashbacks with Lucas in a romantic context, with friends, where she was happy and basically her most important moments in life and where she was herself, the real her. In that moment, their meeting, they were both being themselves and not using each other for protection and “normalcy”(El is just as possibly using Mike, but I'll write about that later), they were being themselves.

During the declaration of love, Mike's face is not that of a man who says it from the bottom of his heart, and it doesn't make El feel any better, it's like she hears the lies in his words and the sadness.

Look at his heartbreak right before Will pushed him to tell El that he loves her.

It's not just fear in his eyes. He looks devastated, like all his hopes have been dashed. I'd say this is especially noticeable when you consider that he had hope after Will gave him the painting.

Mike's declaration of love and the simultaneous breaking of his own heart. This is another way in which they are symbolically connected to the lake, and where their relationship is just as, connected to Max's safety.The heart-shaped lake has literally split in two, as the “gate” is right there. Now it's a broken heart.

Also, I want to remind you that in the show Mike is constantly associated with a heart, that drawing with his name and hearts next to it, that Will's drawing of Mike's shield has a heart on it, he's everywhere as a heart.

I was thinking that maybe at this point Will's heart and hopes were broken, but I think Will's hopes and heart, were broken back in the van, back in the van he became broken, afterwards he was literally depressed and looked at Mike with such devastation, he realized that his feelings were not reciprocated (in his opinion).

[oh-stars]

Surrender

Love is letting someone take care of you.

a @steddielovemonth prompt | 1,607 words | CW: injury | Rating: G

---

Steve has tried really hard these last five years to be more than what others expect of him. At first, it was just about being a better person and not the dickhead kid he used to be. That was easy enough, to choose kindness over the cruel words and inaction, but he didn’t realize there would be so much involved in being a better person overall, like beyond not kicking people when they’re down or holding open the door for a stranger, fundamentally changing the way he thinks to be a better friend and man. 

He’s not stupid, no matter what his dad always says. He knows there are cultural differences between guys and girls, but he also knows a lot of that is bullshit and misogynary (or whatever the word Robin is always saying) – that it comes from hating women and people who are different.

Steve’s thought a lot about manliness over the last few years. He doesn’t have a sister and other than Carol, who was always ‘one of the guys’ in Steve’s eyes, he really doesn’t have much experience hanging out with girls he’s not actively trying to date. Now he gets a ton of one-on-one time with women without the haze of attraction or ulterior motives. He’s seen the guys Max and Eleven giggle over in their magazines and none of them are the action stars they’re supposed to be drooling over – it’s all the cute guys with soft looks and kind eyes. 

He gets it now. Especially when he wakes up in the morning and looks down to find the hottest guy of them all curled up on his chest. Eddie’s not the epitome of masculinity, nor is Steve, but that doesn’t make them any less of a man. Their sexualities, interests, the way they share their emotions – none of that makes them more or less of a man. 

After years and years of relearning what being a man means to him, you would think Steve wouldn’t fall into the same stereotypes of his fellow men. And yet… 

He adjusts his grip on the crutches. It’s been hell trying to get inside, taking ages so he doesn’t fall again and break his other leg. Should he have called someone? Yes. Should he let Eddie know he needs a hand? Absolutely. Will he be admitting defeat? Never. He doesn’t even really understand why, if he’s honest. It’s not like Hopper’s going to come speeding down, sirens blazing, and demand Steve hand over his Man Card because he asked for help. 

Steve manages to make it to the door, out of breath and sweating under his coat and layers. He leans against the doorframe as he digs for his keys. It takes way too much effort, but eventually, he’s able to get inside. Steve drops his bag, then walks carefully to the couch, cringing with each swing-step he takes as his snowy boot tracks water all along the rug. 

“Steve?” 

Fuck. He knew Eddie would be home, he saw his van in the driveway after all, but Steve still hoped he’d be out or that one of the guys swung by and picked him up. It’s not like he could hide this from him, but it would be nice to have a bit more time to figure out his story. Because Eddie finding out means Steve has to admit he was wrong in the first place. 

“Yeah,” he calls back as he tugs off his lone boot, his other one is still on the floorboard of his car, and sets the crutches down beside him. He lifts his broken leg up, the action stiff with how awkward and new the cast feels and quickly covers it with a blanket. It’ll buy him some time. 

“I was wondering where you went,” Eddie says as he slides into the living room on his socks. He’s already in his sleepwear: one of Steve’s old shirts, Steve’s favorite sweatpants that are too big for him, and Steve’s gym socks. It hits him that he won’t be able to wear Eddie’s sweats, the ones he’s stretched out and are so thin they may as well be threads held together by dreams, until he gets this cast off. Well shit. 

Eddie pauses for just a moment before he’s walking over and sitting on the ottoman in front of Steve. “You’re wearing your coat still,” he says.” 

Steve shrugs and hugs his chest. “I’m cold.” 

“Why don’t you go shower and warm up?” Eddie asks, face neutral but his eyes tell a different story. He’s suspicious. How is he already catching on? Steve’s like the king of stealth. 

“I don’t feel like washing my hair right now,” he says instead. “I just want to lay here for a bit.” 

Eddie raises an eyebrow. “It’s Thursday,” Eddie says, “it’s your hair washing day according to your meticulous hair schedule. And you don’t want to wash it?” 

Steve can only shrug again. “Maybe later?” 

“Right, right,” Eddie says. He leans forward and kisses him all sweetly. Eddie brushes a hand through Steve’s hair and it nearly brings him to tears, if he’s honest. His body is sore, there’s probably a bruise the size of Alaska on his back and ass, and his leg is starting to hurt more now that his meds are wearing off. It’s been a harrowing few hours of trying to get to the hospital, being seen and dealing with the horrors of doctors and nurses touching him (he can’t even begin to think about how he’ll react to getting the cast removed, the saw too much like the one the Russian wanted to use–), and now that it’s all over and Eddie’s being sweet… Steve just wants to give up the charade.

“Baby,” Eddie says softly, “talk to me.” 

Steve looks up, blinking away the tears and leans into Eddie’s touch. “I fell,” he mumbles, cheeks hot. It’s so humiliating. He’s a grown man. So he fell? Big deal. But he fell doing a thing that Eddie told him he should probably wait to take care of until someone else could spot the ladder, that Steve made a bigger deal about doing it solo because he’s Steve. 

“On the ice?” 

He shakes his head and drops his eyes back down to Eddie’s. He watches in real time as Eddie realizes what Steve means, as confusion morphs into shock then concern. “Stevie,” he whispers, “how bad is your leg?” 

Steve pauses. “How did you know it was my leg?” 

Eddie pointedly looks at the crutches leaning against the arm of the couch. Oh. 

He sighs. “It's a clean break,” he says. “But I broke my tibula.” 

“Your tibia or your fibula?” Eddie asks, no judgment in his words. 

“Honestly, couldn’t tell you. Paperwork is in my bag though.” 

Eddie laughs softly and leans forward to kiss Steve’s cheek. “I’ll look later. How are you feeling?” 

“Everything hurts,” he says with only the hint of a whine. It’s like he’s accidentally given his body permission to feel everything. Steve reaches for the blanket, tugging it off his leg to show his foot and knee wrapped in a cast. “I have to wear it for two months.” 

“Shit, Stevie,” Eddie says, moving to squeeze himself onto the edge of the sofa. He leans over Steve, boxing him in. “You know, you’ve got to be more careful,” he says as he takes Steve’s face in his hands, “if you want to grow old together like you’re always talking about, then you’ve got to actually get there. And that starts with taking care of yourself.” 

Steve sighs. “I can take care of myself–” 

“But let me help,” Eddie says, leaning forward again to kiss Steve’s forehead. “Not because you need it, but because I want to. Why make things harder on yourself just to prove a point?” 

He doesn’t have much to say to that. 

Eddie pushes himself up and stands. “I know you wanted to make a roast for dinner, but want to get take out and smoke some? May help with the aches?” 

Steve nods and scoots forward so he can wrestle his way out of his coat. “You can’t baby me the whole time I’m in this cast, by the way.” 

“Oh, I could,” Eddie says, “but I do actually want to stay together by the time you get it off, so I’ll let you do some things by yourself.” He takes Steve’s jacket and grabs a few pillows to prop up Steve’s leg. “Will you let me take care of you tonight, though?” 

He feels so helpless and embarrassed to need the help, but with the way Eddie’s looking at him, Steve can’t tell him no. “Please?” 

Eddie beams as he basically skips to the coat closet. 

All Steve can do is watch as Eddie flits around the house: getting the good cuddling blankets and the pillows off their bed, grabbing his lunchbox, bringing Steve a pop to drink, all while he orders food from their favorite takeout place, phone sandwiched against his ear. 

He hates how nice it feels to be taken care of, especially over something as silly as a broken leg from a dumb mistake. Who takes down Christmas lights by themselves after a frost? Knowing their ladder is finicky at best on a good day? He was asking to fall off the roof! He should be glad he didn’t break more than his leg! 

But it’s a little easier to let it happen than it had been when they first started dating. He’s not perfect, he can be too proud sometimes, but he’s working on it. 

---

Thank you @lady-lostmind for betaing this fic!

Ao3 Link

[bwoahtastic]

Toto as the king's advisor in minotaur max is so intriguing. He's the only one who's kind to Nico after the king rips him away from his family. He shows Nico around the palace and explains his duties, he even tells Nico how to gain the king's favor because he knows the king is volatile and doesn't want Nico to be hurt. The morning after the king sleeps with Nico for the first time Toto brings him potions to soothe his injuries and restore his strength, and he lets Nico cry without judgement. When the curse hits Nico during the wedding and he faints Toto is the one to carry him to the infirmary. Toto works hard to work out the symbol that has appeared on Nico's belly, he knows it is a curse of some kind but he doesn't know what, and is always kind to Nico. Really he's the only person in the palace Nico considers a friend.

Nico knows Lewis' style and magic well enough to recognise that he was the one who cursed Nico, and though he's devastated that his love would have done this, believing Nico betrayed him, he cannot bear to put Lewis in danger and reveal to the king that it was him. When max is born everyone else is horrified, especially the king, but Nico can do nothing but love his baby. And max is such a sweet baby who loves his momma so much. From the day he is born he is gentle and sweet, and as long as his momma is nearby he will never complain.

The king intends to kill max but Toto, who is trying to save him and find a way out for him and Nico, suggests building the labyrinth and having max as the monster inside. He doesn't mean it, he just wants to buy time, but Nico is horrified and feels so betrayed. When Nico escapes, Toto comes across them and Nico is sure that he's going to trap them and take max away from him, but instead Toto helps them, and even gives Nico some supplies to help him along the way. Afterwards, when the king realises that Nico is missing, Toto creates a fake trail for the guards to follow that leads them away from Nico

Oh plsss!!

Toto working as advisor to the king, he loathes the man but it's the only way to try and mellow the way he rules the kingdom. He tries to discourage the King from bringing Nico in to marry him but the king won't be convinced. Toto tries to be nice to Nico, shows him around the palace and judt tries to be a friendly face for the poor thing.

Toto rushing to Nico's chambers after hearing the king didn't wait for the wedding night to bed nico, finding Nico curled up and crying and he tries his best to soothe him until Nico is calm enough for Toto to explain the potions and creams he brought (and some sweet treats too). And when Nico faints after getting hit by the curse, Toto is quick to sweet in and take the queen to the infirmary, not trusting anyone else to be careful. He tries to work out the symbol but can't figure it out, also realising that Nico isn't telling him something but he doesn't push too much.

Toto being there when Max is born because Nico is so scared and begs him to stay, doesn't have anyone else he trusts not to tear his child away from him the moment it's born. Toto being shocked seeing the minotaur infant but tries not to show it, smiles and soothes Nico and tells him what a sweet baby boy it is! And Max really is a sweet boy, such a calm baby who just wants to be held and loves his momma!

The king is ofcourse furious and intends to kill the baby, but Toto manages to convince him to build the maze instead and raise Max to be the monster in there. Nico is so betrayed hearing that because he thought Toto was the one person who didn't think msx was disgusting, and won't listen to toto trying to explain...

Nico escaping in the middle of the night but running into Toto. He is so convinced Toto will stop him, will call the guards, but Toto quietly takes off his better, heavier cloak, wraps it around the pair, and places a pouch of coins in the pocket to help them before telling them he is sorry and that they should run as far as possible!

Toto misleading the king and the guards as much as possible, before fleeing himself a few months later when people are starting to become suspicious of him.

Maybe Toto finds nico and Max quite quickly after that, but doesn't approach them immediately. He is pretty certain Nico won't want to see him again and he tells himself he will go after making sure they are okay, staying in a village nearby and walking to the tower daily to watch them from in the forest, so relieved they are okay and safe with Lewis!

Max finds him sneaking about one day and while he was too young when they fled to really remember Toto, he remembers the weapon embroidered on the cloak Toto stole and tells Nico there is a nice man from the castle!

Lewis and Nico going jnto the forest ready to kill if needed but Nico stops Lewis when realising it's Toto! Toto apologising and telling Nico he will leave, but Nico just clings to him tight. He has long since realised how Toto tried to help them and he is so grateful!

[thissortofsorcery]

Billy doesn’t know it yet, but a lot of things in his life change because of Steve Harrington.

Billy’s hiding in the library when he overhears it. He’s ditching calculus because he can’t stand Mr. Hermann’s voice on a good day, the way the old man talks like he’s shouting, and Billy’s head is still ringing from where Neil hit it on a shelf last night because he was late getting Maxine home for dinner.

Billy would normally spend his voluntary free period smoking outside, but it’s fucking snowing today- just one more thing to be grateful about December in goddamn Hawkins, Indiana.

That’s why he’s sitting at a table that’s kind of out of the way in the library, hidden behind the biology section. He yanked out a book about the ocean to look at the pictures to distract himself until next period.

That’s when he hears them talking. Harrington and Wheeler.

“Mike says Dustin’s driving him crazy,” Wheeler’s saying softly, from across the shelves hiding Billy. “He won’t shut up about you.”

“We’ve been hanging out,” Harrington says, just as quietly, and his voice sounds like it’s coming out through a smile. Billy tries not to picture it in his mind. “He’s cool, you know, for a middle schooler.”

Harrington says it like he’s annoyed, but his tone can’t be anything but fond. It’s ridiculous. Billy’s seen Harrington driving around the dweebs Maxine’s friends with, has seen them at the arcade and at the diner, so he knows Harrington’s been hanging around them like an overgrown mother hen. Billy can’t make sense of it.

“You seem better,” Wheeler says, after a moment of silence, and there’s something hesitant about it. “Lately, I mean. Lighter.”

Harrington doesn’t answer, and Billy wishes he could see what his face looks like. He’d noticed Harrington had been looking rough since November, even after the bruising had faded, with bags under his eyes and hollow cheeks. A blank stare, like he was somewhere else in his head.

“Dustin’s a great kid,” Harrington repeats, kind of distantly. Then in a rush he says, like the words will disappear if he doesn’t get them out, “He’s been calling me in the walkie some nights. He can’t sleep either.”

“Oh, Steve…”

“So we talk a lot. About, you know… Being there for him, it helps.”

They go silent. It’s clear something happened to the kid, and to Harrington, and Billy doesn’t care- except something happened to Max, too. She’s been quiet, and spooked, since That Night. Billy wonders if whatever happened to them happened then, after they left him drugged on the floor.

“I always wanted a little brother,” Harrington cuts through the silence. Wheeler makes a soft noise like she’s listening. “I hated being alone all the time. I thought it would be like having a friend for life, you know. Then I got older, and my dad… I don’t think… I think that if I had a brother, my dad would make us resent each other,” He says, like a confession, and it sits like a stone in Billy’s stomach.

“You can’t know that, Steve…” Wheeler says softly.

“No, I know. It’s just a feeling,” Billy hears Harrington shift, then the shelf wobbles, like he’s leaning on it. “You know what my dad’s like, with me. I keep thinking, if I had a brother… He’d be comparing us all the time. Pitting us against each other. Makes us tell on each other. To make sure we were alone. I don’t know,” He huffs, and mocks himself with a little laugh. “Like you said, it’s stupid.”

Billy has to swallow past a lump in his throat. His hands are clenched into fists. It sounds a little too familiar, Harrington’s feelings about his father. Neil knows how to be an asshole too, especially about Maxine, and being a good big brother. Makes a point of disciplining Billy about it. Except all it does is make him hate Max.

“Maybe it’s not,” Wheeler says, and her voice is firm this time. Maybe she’s holding Harrington’s hand, even. “He really is an asshole.”

Harrington snorts, but it’s still a little sad, “Thanks, Nance.”

Billy sinks lower in his seat, careful not to make noise. He feels suddenly exhausted. The ringing in his head feels worse than ever.

“This is better, with Dustin,” Harrington says. “He’s awesome. And the other kids too.”

And my dad can’t touch him, he doesn’t say, but Billy hears it all the same.

Eventually, Harrington and Wheeler leave and Billy’s alone again behind his bookshelves, with the marine biology book he hasn’t looked at in half an hour. Harrington’s words don’t leave him though.

Billy knows his resentment of Max mostly comes from how his dad treats her, he’s aware enough of that. He hates that she never suffers the consequences of the shit the does, that she can do no wrong in Neil’s eyes, that she and Susan make up Neil’s idea of a perfect family and Billy doesn’t.

It hadn’t occurred to Billy that Neil could be doing all of it deliberately. This whole time he thought his dad wanted him to like Max - wanted him to be a good big brother. He never thought it could be all a part of a different game, to make him hate Max and make Max hate him.

What was it that Harrington said? To make sure we were alone.

Easy to control.

That’s what Neil likes, isn’t it.

Billy ends up ditching the rest of the day. He can’t stomach the thought of sitting in a classroom listening to teachers droning on about shit while his head’s buzzing with memories trying to reorganize themselves. This can’t be right. He can’t have gotten it this wrong. Billy’s too old to be this dumb, to fall for this shit.

A voice that sounds like his mom’s says in his mind, but your father is older.

At four, he picks up Max from AV Club and doesn’t yell at her to hurry up. He can’t bring himself to say anything, really. He drives her to the arcade when she asks and doesn’t speed on the corners to scare her, doesn’t play his music too loud. He feels kind of numb.

He can’t make himself be harsh, but can’t make himself be nice, either. He’s sure Maxine wouldn’t be receptive to it, anyway. She’s been steadily ignoring him for weeks now, since That Night.

Billy watches her go inside the arcade and thunks his head back against his seat. He doesn’t know what the fuck to do.

A couple spots away, a burgundy Beamer pulls into the parking lot. Fucking Harrington.

[steddieas-shegoes]

another one for the requests ^^

a steve and johnathan friendship please. will and el seeing steve as their older brother along with johnathan, hopper and joyce treating steve as their own, and johnathan and steve just overall having a good friendship. (pre-relationship steddie with eddie getting jealous of johnathan because steve just recently came out to the Party as bi, and jancy broke up weeks before it, and none of the others - except robin ofc - know why steve is spending a lot of time at the hopper-byers' house)

I AM TEAM STEVE AND JONATHAN BEING FRIENDS!!! They both did shitty things, and just as real humans do, they figured it out and made themselves better. I'm also team Eddie is incredibly jealous of any other man who gets Steve's attention. This request was unexpected and fun and I liked being able to explore Jonathan a bit more. Thank you!!! - Mickala ❤️

-------------------------------------------------

If you asked Steve where he thought he’d be a year ago, his answer wouldn’t have been this.

Sitting on the Byers’ couch, running his hands through Jonathan’s hair while he cried.

Steve has practically been living at the Byers home for a month, Joyce insisting he join them for dinner so often it just got easier to come over after work every day and spend the night when he had a few too many beers with Hopper.

Will had quickly become his second favorite kid, only behind Dustin, tied with Max.

He was shy, but Steve loved the way he lit up when he talked about things he cared about. He was so excited to show Steve his new campaign ideas when he came over, and even though Steve only understood about 10% of what came out of his mouth, he couldn’t help smiling at him the entire time.

But his friendship with Jonathan was most surprising of all.

Even Robin was getting jealous.

But it was different with Jonathan.

Especially when he broke up with Nancy.

It wasn’t ugly, there was no big argument, and there truly were no hard feelings between them.

But Jonathan was hurting and Steve was there.

And no one knew the post-breakup with Nancy Wheeler hurt quite like Steve.

But that was weeks ago, and Steve kind of expected things to be going better than they were.

“It’s not even that I’m upset she’s going! I’m glad she’s going. That’s why I broke up with her. I’m just also sad that it has to be like this,” Jonathan sniffled against Steve’s lap.

Nancy left for Yale today. It wasn’t her first choice, but it was the best option for her major out of the offers she got. Everyone had gotten together to see her off, even Jonathan, and it looked like he’d held off the breakdown as long as he could.

“Hey, it’s understandable to be upset. You loved each other and it’s hard to see that final goodbye. Up until now she was still hanging out with all of us so it didn’t feel real, now it does.”

Jonathan sighed and closed his eyes.

Steve smiled down at him.

“You’ve got time to figure out what you’re lookin’ for, man. It’ll get easier to be without her.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Steve was startled when the door opened, Will excitedly talking with Eddie, who’d been driving him back after Hellfire for two weeks now.

“Hey Will, hey Eddie,” Steve said with a small wave, one hand still occupied with playing with Jonathan’s hair.

“Hey Steve!” Will exclaimed.

Will kept talking to Eddie, but Steve noticed he wasn’t paying attention.

He was glaring at Jonathan.

Steve looked down to see if Jonathan was glaring at him, or for any explanation of what was happening.

But Jonathan’s eyes had closed again, his face not quite smiling, but more relaxed than it had been for most of the evening.

When Steve looked back up at Eddie, he was looking at the floor, brows furrowed and a frown on his face.

“Uh, Will, I’m gonna head home. I’ll see you on Saturday, though?”

Will looked dejected, and Steve hated it.

“Oh. Okay. See you Saturday,” he said, walking out of the living room to get to his room.

Steve saw red.

“What the hell is your problem?” Steve asked Eddie.

“What?” Eddie had the audacity to look shocked at being called out for his suddenly shitty behavior towards Will.

“Will was talking to you and you just blew him off.”

Jonathan sat up now, his eyes burning a hole through Eddie.

Jonathan and Eddie got along fine, they weren’t close friends or anything, but they seemed to get along when they all hung out in a group. But Jonathan was incredibly protective of Will, way more than Steve even, and if Eddie was being rude to him, Jonathan would make sure he knew he wasn’t going to let it happen.

He was a chill guy until you messed with Will or El.

Then again, so was Steve.

“Uh. I.”

Jonathan stood up and walked over to Eddie. He didn’t look angry yet, not like he had the potential to be, but he didn’t look pleased.

“Get your shit under control, man. It’s not what you think. Will doesn’t deserve you acting like that because you’re jealous.”

Which made no fucking sense to Steve, but he decided to let Jonathan handle it.

Eddie’s wide eyes watched as Jonathan left the room, probably to check on Will.

Steve stared at him from the couch, not sure what to say.

“Um. I’ll go. Sorry,” Eddie said awkwardly, which is something Steve wasn’t used to.

Eddie was never awkward, always bigger than his body in ways Steve didn’t think possible. Unapologetically loud, fun, a spitfire.

So seeing him like this made him hesitant to believe he meant any actual harm towards Will.

“Hey,” Steve stopped him. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, man. Um. Just tell Will I’ll call tomorrow.”

And then he was gone.

Steve knew better than to follow; Whatever was going on with Eddie would be fine by tomorrow.

Will, however, may be truly hurt and upset.

Steve walked down the hall quietly, not wanting to interrupt Jonathan and Will if they were in the middle of something.

He heard their voices speaking so softly. That should have been a sign to turn around.

But then he heard his name.

“He didn’t mean anything by it, Will. He had a jealous moment because of Steve and took it out on you. I’m sure he’s sorry.”

“Why was he jealous of Steve?”

Jonathan sighed.

“You know how Steve just came out a couple weeks ago?”

“Yeah.”

Steve was about to fall through the wall just to hear where this was going.

“Well, Eddie’s had a massive crush on him for damn near a year now. And he got his hopes up that Steve might feel the same when he came out, which is fine. It’s a natural reaction, you know that. But he also knows that I broke up with Nancy and spend a lot of time with Steve and you saw how he was comforting me when you got home. To you, it looks like just brothers helping each other, but to him, it probably looked a little different.”

“What, like you two are together? Gross.”

Jonathan laughed.

“Yeah, I know. But I can see how he would think that. And you and I both know it hurts when someone we love doesn’t return our feelings.”

Steve’s head was spinning.

Eddie having a crush on him felt like something Jonathan was making up just to make Will feel better.

Just when he was turning around to go back to the couch and figure out what the hell he was feeling, El came out of her room.

She froze when she saw him.

She looked towards Will’s bedroom door, then back at Steve.

He silently begged her not to say anything, and luckily, even without reading his mind, she seemed to know what he was asking.

She nodded and walked along to the kitchen, where Joyce was finishing up dinner for all of them.

“So, do you think Steve likes Eddie? Or is Eddie gonna have to feel terrible forever?”

“Will, you’re not gonna feel terrible forever.” Steve couldn’t hear if Will said anything, but the silence only lasted a moment. “But I think maybe Steve does and just doesn’t realize it. Or maybe he does and just doesn’t think Eddie feels the same. Don’t know how since he literally makes heart eyes at him every chance he gets.”

They both laughed and Steve felt unbalanced, like the next breath might knock him over.

If they were right, if Eddie had feelings for him, then he could see why he was so upset finding Jonathan’s head in his lap earlier.

“Boys! Dinner!” Joyce yelled from the kitchen.

Steve jumped and quickly walked to the kitchen so Jonathan and Will wouldn’t know he eavesdropped on their conversation.

He was quiet through dinner, which wasn’t too unusual. He answered questions when he was asked, asked El about her next girl’s night with Max, asked Will about his campaign.

But Jonathan kept looking at him like he knew.

He got out of there as soon as he was done helping with clean up, saying he was tired and needed some rest before his opening shift tomorrow.

El and Will gave him a hug, Joyce kissed his cheek, and Jonathan followed him out.

That wasn’t what he wanted.

Jonathan stopped him at the front door, hand on his arm.

“Steve. Will’s okay. Don’t be too hard on Eddie, okay?”

Steve just nodded, then gave Jonathan a quick hug before leaving.

He drove home in silence, only his thoughts keeping him company.

—---------------

He talked to Robin because of course he did. She would know what to do.

“Dingus, this feels pretty black and white to me. You have confirmation he likes you. You just spent 20 minutes telling me how amazing he is, which means you like him. He isn’t gonna make a move if he thinks you’re with Jonathan, and he’s valid for thinking that, by the way. You two are freakishly close. You have to do something.”

Steve knew she was right, but he hated when she was right, and he didn’t want her to be right.

“But what if Jonathan is wrong? Maybe he just thinks that’s why he was upset.”

Robin stared blankly at him.

“Steve. Ask Eddie out or I am gonna jump off the cliff at the quarry. God, I cannot with you two.”

Which led Steve to believe Eddie had been talking to Robin about him and caused him to spiral again.

But Robin ignored him and said she wouldn’t talk to him about anything except work until he grew a pair and talked to Eddie.

—--------------------

He was standing outside of the Byers house, here for dinner again, but Eddie’s van was parked outside, which was weird.

It’s not that he wasn’t welcome, Joyce always invited anyone who needed to eat.

It’s just that Hellfire was supposed to be right now, at Eddie’s house, which was not here.

But he was here.

Jonathan opened the door, trash bag in hand, and smiled when he saw Steve standing there.

“Oh, you’re here! Everything okay?”

Steve nodded.

“You sure?” Jonathan started to look concerned. “If you need to skip, I’m sure Mom will understand. She knows you’re working a lot.”

“No, I’m good. Uh, need me to take that out?”

“No, I got it. You go inside, say hi to everyone.”

Steve had no choice but to do what he said.

Something felt off.

And when he walked into the living room to see El and Will sitting on the floor with Eddie, everything felt off.

“Steve!” El yelled, jumping up and running over to give him a hug.

Will followed behind, not quite as enthusiastic, but smiling all the same.

Eddie waved from the floor, small smile on his face.

Steve hated whatever was happening, not because Eddie was here, but because Eddie was never like this around him. He was usually easygoing and tactile, not quiet and awkward.

“Is that Steve?” Joyce called as she walked into the living room. “Hi, honey! Can I have your help with something for just a second?”

“Of course.”

He followed her back into the kitchen, ignoring the way his stomach was in knots at the idea of having a family dinner with Eddie here.

“So, Eddie’s having a rough day, and we invited him for dinner. His favorite is lasagna, so that’s in the oven. Will told me his favorite dessert was brownies, but the texture just isn’t right on these. I’m worried they won’t cook right. Can you take a look?”

Steve wasn’t exactly a baker, but he dabbled in it. His specialty was homemade brownies.

He tried not to let his mind linger on why Eddie was having a rough day, and followed Joyce to where the brownie mix sat in a bowl, which was a very pale brown color.

He knew without even tasting it what was wrong, but he didn’t want to make Joyce feel bad, so he stirred it a bit and then dipped his finger in the batter.

“Ah. Needs cocoa powder,” he said with a smile.

“Of course! I can’t believe I forgot that. Could you get that taken care of?”

And then she was gone.

So, Steve handled it.

He found her cocoa powder, added it in, then took another taste.

This was his recipe. He’d given it to her a while ago, but she’d joked that she couldn’t possibly do his brownies such a disservice.

Whatever was going on with Eddie must be bad.

Then Eddie walked in the kitchen. Alone.

Just as Steve was licking his finger to make sure it didn’t need any more sugar or salt.

They stared at each other for a moment, both their eyes wide in surprise.

“Brownies? What’s the occasion?” Eddie finally asked.

“Uh. Joyce said they’re your favorite?”

“They are. But why does that matter?”

“Uh. She said you were having a bad day.”

Eddie’s face was red.

“Oh. Um. I just had a doctor’s appointment is all.”

Steve’s heart stopped.

“Is everything okay? Are you hurt? Are you sick? Did they find something wrong?”

Steve was closer to him, his hands hovering over his body like he could sense if something was off.

“I’m okay,” Eddie smirked. “Just had to do a lot of tests and I’m sore now. Nothing wrong, though.”

“Good. That’s good,” Steve supplied, his hands dropping to his sides uselessly.

“Yeah. Good.”

Whatever was happening here sucked. Steve hated being like this with Eddie.

He thought about what Robin said, about what Jonathan had told Will.

“You wanna go out with me sometime?”

Steve was an idiot. Truly. Just spitting it out like that, no warning, not even sure if Eddie actually did like him.

“What?”

Eddie looked like he was five seconds from passing out.

“Like on a date?” Then Steve stopped. Eddie would have said yes if he really liked him, right? He wouldn’t have hesitated. “Yeah, I mean, it’s cool though, if not. We don’t have to. Just an idea. I mean Jonathan said-”

“What did Jonathan say?”

“He said you liked me, and he’s just trying to be a good friend and help me out, maybe he was just making sure I didn’t feel bad for liking you so much, I dunno-”

Eddie’s lips were on his.

Eddie’s lips were on his.

Holy shit.

“You’re not with Jonathan?” Eddie asked without pulling away completely.

Steve shook his head.

“You don’t like Jonathan?”

Steve shook his head again.

“You like me?”

Steve nodded.

“Then yeah, let’s go on a date.”

Steve suddenly heard cheering from just outside the kitchen.

He pulled away from Eddie and turned to see Joyce and Jonathan standing behind a clapping El and Will.

“You guys are the worst,” Steve said, running a hand over his face.

“Are we? You never would’ve made a move on your own dude,” Jonathan said, giving him a high five before swiping his finger through the brownie batter.

“I was gonna!”

“When you were 50 maybe!”

Everyone was laughing when Hopper walked in the front door.

“What’s so funny?” His gruff voice thundered through the living room and kitchen.

“Eddie thought Steve and I were a couple,” Jonathan said. “Fixed it, though. Now they’re together.”

Hopper looked between all of them, shook his head, then started heading to his bedroom to change.

“I don’t know why I ask,” his voice could be heard as he walked away.

“So, where are you taking me on our first date, Stevie?”

“How about we let Jonathan pick since he wants to meddle so bad?”

Jonathan laughed.

“This was all mom’s idea. She was tired of the pining.”

“You should go get milkshakes!” El said.

“And then go to the drive-in!” Will added.

“Not a bad idea, actually,” Steve said, turning to Eddie. “Sound okay to you?”

“Yeah, but first, bake these brownies. Your brownie recipe is my favorite.”

“You’re my favorite,” Steve replied.

Everyone groaned.

“Oh, now it’s gonna be worse,” Jonathan joked, shoving Steve’s shoulder playfully.

“So much worse,” Eddie added with a smile.

[steviewashere]

The Sound of Silence

Rating: General CW: Internalized Ableism, Quick Mention of the 'R' Word (It's Not Written, Quite Literally as 'R' Word)Tags: Post-Canon, Post-Season 4, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Selectively Mute Steve Harrington, Negative Self Talk, Miscommunication, Mean Eddie Munson (For a Split Second It's Part of the Miscommunication and the Plot), Eddie Munson is a Sweetheart, Neurodivergent Steve Harrington (Implied), Pre-Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson, Eddie Munson Calls Steve Harrington Sweetheart

I should say before this that a lot of Steve's thinking here, a lot of the metaphors and such used, are from personal experience. They are things I think about myself when I'm mute. So be civil and kind about this piece.

💛—————💛

Steve Harrington is a man of few words on most days. He does talk, he loves talking sometimes, has so many things to share. But on a lot of occasions, Steve can’t muster the strength to say hello. Can only make sounds, hums and gasps and subtle clicks. And often times, he hides away when he gets to that point. He’s been like this for as long as he can remember. Though, the first time it happened, he’s not sure what really caused it. Just that something was too much, or he was too little and then it all began. There had been therapists and specialists and urgent care doctors. A lot of conversations between him and his parents that often ended in him being yelled at. Something about him too far left of ‘normal’. And he knew, when the bad stuff came, that part of him may just be this way.

Now, years later, he can put some recognition to what silences him. Sometimes it’s the lack of comfortable sleep the night before. Or it’s the social energy completely drained out of him. Or it’s a particular jab that somebody makes. The raised voice that pushes him over the edge. A nightmare so harsh it rips him of not only the ability to mutter whole sentences, but also the ability to crawl out of bed.

He’s only clarified this with a select handful of people. The people in his life that were closest to him or that would understand. Robin was the second. Words written on a steno pad in the middle of the night, three days in a row where he hadn’t been sleeping properly, nightmares of a cold bunker and rough hands. Notes passed in quiet lulls, pencil scratches the only sound. She only looked at him with a sort of empathy he’s never been privy to. Her eyebrows scrunched in concentration as she focused solely on conversation in written text. He didn’t have to beg with her, which he thanked whatever god gave him her presence in the first place. Then, it was Nancy before their breakup. She could just tell. Her notes accommodated him. Space he took up was always welcoming. And her voice carried softly to his ears, gossip and pet names and gentle praise. Even if she broke his heart some time later, he would always remember her better than alcohol stained and too tipsy to make sense. Max was most recent. She, surprisingly, didn’t tease him for it. Didn’t make him feel bad. More sad than anything. Her voice was raspy in her hospital bed, “I’ll be your voice, Steve. You can be my eyes.” He could see the white, nearly iridescent glaze that permanently altered the blue color underneath. There were no words exchanged after that, but he placed his hand in hers and squeezed.

The others either didn’t notice or were too intimidating to tell. It’s not that they’re scary. But they can be harsh about certain things. And he just wasn’t ready. His voice, the absence of his words, have always been a soft, insecure, and vulnerable part to him. Laying out his cards face up on the table was too much.

But he probably should’ve considered Eddie to be one of those people that he can trust. Especially since Steve lets him move in, take up space in a spare bedroom, rummage through his cupboards. Maybe because they’re roommates. Maybe because they’re friends. Maybe because Steve wants more.

———— It was a bad night. An even worse day.

The images flashed under his eyelids every time he blinked. Blood and loose skin and wet muscles. Echoing screeches of those creatures that ruined his nearly blank torso. That sadness rippling from Dustin. His wobbling lip, wet eyes, the snotty nose, and strained yells for help. Steve’s stomach turns with every subtle movement of his body. Every single time he stretches, the scars moving with him. 

In retrospect, he shouldn’t have gone to work. Not when he woke up, throat scratchy and the seizing of his chest overwhelmingly intense with every sobbing gasp. Or when he realized, the energy somewhere else, that mustering words was the heaviest burden to bear. He shouldn’t have gone to work, where he gets yelled at for not communicating. For not counting out the change. For not selling the new movies. Where he’s called things he’s heard since he was a little boy, ‘Dumb’ and ‘Stupid’ and the infamous ‘R’ word.

He’s out of it by the time he’s able to sit down in the driver’s seat of the car. Part of him wants to bang the softest parts of his palms on the harsh, stiff leather of the steering wheel. Another piece of him wants to lean down into those same hands, pressed into the sockets of his eyes hard enough to speckle his sight with black spots, and cry until there’s nothing else to do but go home. There’s the encroaching need to scream, to hum behind his lips, wiggle his arms until they’re too tired to move, too heavy to lift, a worse burden than speaking. But he knows that it’s too open to break down in Family Video’s parking lot. So his drive home is ninety percent heaving breaths and squeezing the steering wheel to remind him he’s nearly back to his bed; his safety away from the world, somewhere where he can recharge, power through this, get back on track.

Though, he’s drained when he goes home. Exhausted. Beaten down to just a bag of meat and blood and bones. The Beemer is parked in the driveway. And he jiggles his keys in the door. And slips his shoes off, hangs up his jacket, places his wallet in the little dish in the foyer. Each step of shedding his work skin like tiptoeing on a bed of nails. Barely even makes it two steps before he’s bombarded by Eddie’s constant, erratic, and chaotic nature.

“Hey, Stevie!” he crows. “I made dinner while you were on your way back. It’s on the stovetop, covered it in foil so that it retains the heat. Oh, and I did the laundry, cleaned up our bathrooms a little bit. Made progress with the physical therapist on my bad leg and I—“

Steve sighs heavily through his nose, blinks sluggishly, and places his palm out to stop Eddie. He tries to say anything, something. But all he does is open his mouth, squeak in the back of his throat, promptly close back up, and sag. Shakes his head, sidesteps, and clambers to his bedroom.

Undressing himself like wrestling with bears. Climbing under his covers as if his comforter is a taut iron sheet. He can already sense it, the shift from charismatic Steve Harrington to odd Steve Harrington. Can’t even suppress the aching, sizzling pang that shoots through. Naked skin to his cold bedsheets. Blanket heavy. The darkness of his bedroom will coddle and consume him, he’s sure. 

Tomorrow is another day to try again. And maybe he’ll finally be able to explain himself.

But of course it’s not that simple. Of course his eyes are crusted over and burning like he spent the entire night crying. His whole body aches. And, unsurprisingly, there’s no way to conjure words from deep in his chest. Just whistled little breaths. Coming short and strained from his nose. He stays in bed for the rest of the day. Blearily, he wonders how Eddie’s doing. If the dinner from last night made it to the fridge. Wonders if the phone has rung at all, because he should be going to work.

He tries it. Tries speaking to the lonely, cold, inky blackness of his room. As if seeking for a light. The sounds strain and garble. Like his emotions are honey and he’s gargling. Choking on it. It hurts. He wonders if speaking should be like death, like a demobat tail wrapped around his tender skin, squeezing with razor blade spikes, tugging on him as stiff and thick ropes. Wonders if Eddie can hear him struggling.

Wonders if Eddie can sense him as a shadow in his own darkness, half of a man, barely a person. Thinks that there’s a million ways to explain himself, the words on paper as he did with Robin, or if Eddie will pick him up like dead star fragments and piece him back together as Nancy did, if he’ll just have to wait this out and whisper it in the fragile, sterile, fluorescent light of his childhood home—it’s a hospital in a way, maybe Eddie can perform the role of Max. Steve would offer his legs to take over for Eddie’s bad one, if he’ll be the boisterous noise that should be croaking from him any moment.

Futile, however much he wants it to work. Steve curls himself tighter in his blanket and goes back to sleep. 

Tomorrow will be another day. And he’ll be a full person again, tomorrow.

Some day, surely, he thinks on day three.

And the same on day four.

And when he can smell his skin like molded vegetables in the drawer of his fridge, only then does he stand on doe like legs, awkwardly ambling to the shower. He is twenty years old, mute as the day he was born—breathless and making noise if only to mark his presence; he thinks of himself as the stain on his bedspread, that is his presence, he’s sure. Twenty years old, moving like the toddler his mother was worried about. Crawling backwards. Unable to lift his head on his own for too long. He wonders a lot in the silence of his own existence. It doesn’t end now, in the shower with steam clearing his nasal passages. Ponders, Will I always be this way?

Surely.

The dirt swirls in invisible tornadoes down the drain. Those are his words. Still gone. Through the pipes and out to the sewer. He stands on the plush rug protecting the warm soles of his feet from the cold tile. An overly used towel, threadbare and rough, wrapped around his waist. He slips into pajamas easily enough. Hair sopping and wilted into his eyes.

Tentative creaks down the stairs. Shuffling if only to take up space. Frozen to his spot in the kitchen doorway. There, in the kitchen, shrouded in amber light with a warm mug of what appears to be hot chocolate, is Eddie. He looks up from the pale brown liquid in his cup. His eyes are richer than that of what he drinks. And Steve is startled by how sad, though ferociously angry they are.

“I know this is your house and you’re allowed to do whatever the fuck you want, but you can’t just be a piece of shit to me,” Eddie rasps. His voice is nearly hollow. Penetrated by shrapnel between his teeth. And Steve also wonders if that’s what he’ll sound like after this. This limbo he can’t control. “Seriously, Steve. I thought you were, like, changed or something. Thought you were supposed to be this good guy now. Not a douchebag, remember?”

‘Douchebag’ spits from him like acid. Steve is burning. He is sizzling. Can’t help the trembling in his hands. Or the subtle, missed by Eddie, flinch that forces him back a step.

He looks away from those molten eyes of Eddie’s. Towards the floor. At his bare feet. Going cold against the hardwood. Wants to throw it all up. The explanation. His thoughts. Every little other thing about him that’s always made him some sort of spectacle in his parent’s marriage. Am I the cold, he asks to nobody in particular, or am I the body drowning in it?

Eddie sniffles. Clears his throat. Sighs disappointingly.

Steve is five years old. His dad is sitting at the table. He is being scolded for not speaking up. Steve is eight years old, covered in mud and pink lines from being scuffed on the concrete. He is being scolded for not speaking up. Steve is eighteen years old, bloodied, beaten blue, sweaty, and soot on his new shoes. He is being scolded for not speaking up.

He is traumatized. And he is tired. And he can’t explain, no matter how much he wants.

“Maybe I should’ve expected this,” Eddie mutters, “being friends with Steve Harrington was always a sort of fantasy anyway, right? Who could like a freak?”

It’s not loud, though it disrupts the quiet Steve thought could never be broken again. He sobs. Wretched and screeching. The tears like a flash flood. His chest caving in. All the sounds escaping him, garbled and messy and drowning. He is drowning. He is different. He’s a freak. And Eddie must know, but not like Nancy does. Or he must have found something, the steno pad. Must’ve talked to Max, something.

He collapses into one of the dining chairs. A heaping mess of blood and skin and bones and meat. Just this. He is this with nothing to explain for it. 

Out of the corner of his eye, though blurry, he sees Eddie stand from his chair. Making some sort of aborted movement. And, without much thinking, Steve scrambles his hands forward, wrapping them tight on Eddie’s forearms, tugging him in too close. Forcing him to stumble into his knobby knees. Fingers still squeezing, fingernails biting into Eddie’s soft skin.

“Hey, whoa, whoa,” Eddie’s whispering, “Stevie, hey.” He crouches down, arms encased in Steve’s terrible hold. It’s almost hard to picture, the space and positions between them. Eddie’s wobbling on his own feet, probably sore and aching on his bad leg. Though, there’s a palm warm on Steve’s cheek. Wiping away at the tears. Trying to, at least; more keep streaming. Fingers carefully scooting into his hairline. Massaging on his scalp, pruning with the cold water in his hair. “Steve,” he murmurs, “hey, it’s okay. I’m sorry. That was—I’m sorry, Steve. I really am. That wasn’t okay.”

He doesn’t know what comes from him next to cause Eddie’s eyes to widen in both surprise and horror, but it must be something awful. A scream. Loud and piercing and high pitched. Shooting from him like a bullet, shattering everything between them. Shrapnel from between his teeth.

Eddie frees from Steve’s grasp, wrapping his arms around his shaking back, bringing him in gently. Rocking him from side to side until he’s only whimpering. Petting down Steve’s hiccuping back. “You’ll be okay,” he whispers against Steve’s ear. “I was being mean. I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’m sorry.”

Eventually, he pulls back some. Putting a small amount of space between their bodies. Steve is shaking from it all. Unable to do much. Eddie soothes a hand down his left arm. “Tell me what’s going on? How come you’ve been pulling away?”

Steve shakes his head. Placing a tired and limp hand on his throat.

“You lose your voice? Are you sick?” Again, Steve shakes his head. And Eddie goes quiet for a few slow moments. Until, a lightbulb seems to shine bright and shatter over his hair, amber light still causing him to glow, despite it all. He scrambles up off the floor. Squeezes Steve’s shoulders. Lightly says, “Stay here, okay? I’m gonna go find a pen and some paper. Be right back.”

When he’s back at Steve’s chair, the both of them significantly calmer, a brand new steno pad is in his hands. He hands it off with a chewed up ballpoint pen. “Tell me by writing it down.”

And so Steve does. Gives it back. Lets Eddie read his chicken scratch scrawl.

‘I don’t know what’s wrong with me,’ is the first thing. Followed by, ‘I’ve been like this since I was a little kid. When things get bad or I just don’t have the energy, it’s like my body forgets how to talk.’

“Oh,” Eddie whispers. He blinks at the paper and looks up to Steve. A sad little smile flashes on his face. “Okay, Steve. I—I think I get it. Kind of like when my day gets really busy and then when I go home, I just shut myself in my room and listen to music until I fall asleep. Kinda like that?”

Steve shrugs and reaches for the paper again. Writing, ‘Sort of. But it’s for a long time. Like…You know now. Sometimes I don’t talk for weeks. Sometimes it’s a few hours. But I get like this a lot.’ When he’s finished and Eddie goes to speak again, Steve immediately writes some more. Eddie’s mouth shuts with the soft click of his teeth.

‘Am I really a freak?’ Is what Eddie reads next.

His head shoots up from the paper. Eyes impossibly wider than they’ve ever been. Startled and desperate and unbearably sad. “No,” he murmurs quickly. “No, Steve, you’re not a freak. What makes you think that?”

The pad trembles in Steve’s grasp. He doesn’t want to write it, wouldn’t even want to speak it. But still, he sketches, ’You asked me, “Who could like a freak?”’ He tilts his head at his own words. Ducks back in, his hands shaking too much and his eyes moist. ‘It’s okay if you think so. I’m kind of used to it.’

Eddie snatches the paper from Steve’s offered grip. He swallows heavily and locks eyes with him, they’re still so sad. He wonders if that’s what Eddie’s seeing, too. “Stevie, no,” he whispers. “No, I was talking about myself. I thought you were mad at me. Thought you didn’t like me. I don’t think of you that way.”

Steve nods, sagging with relief. And with it a few tears spring loose from his eyes. A hand softly cups his jaw, thumbing at his fat hot tears. He closes his eyes and sighs. “Not mad,” he forces, his voice like raw, out of the box grits. It hurts, but he swallows. “You are my friend,” he musters before falling silent again.

A soft, sad hum emanates from Eddie. His hand tenses on Steve’s skin, but it holds to him gently, like he never wants to let go. “You’re mine, too, you know that? I’m genuinely sorry for what I said,” Eddie says. The apology sweet and drenching. “That wasn’t okay of me. I’m sorry.”

There’s no words Steve can press from within him. He lays his hand over Eddie’s and squeezes. Eyes now open and darting between Eddie’s own. He pushes their joined hands further into his cheek, sighing with it. Boneless in his chair.

“Okay,” Eddie mutters, “I understand, sweetheart. I get you now.” His thumb soothes more. Petting—caressing Steve in a way that makes his stomach flutter. “We’ll get you through this,” he promises, “I won’t go anywhere.”

💛—————💛

[longitudinalwaveme]

2024 Flash Annual (and General Musings About Si Spurrier's Flash Run)

I bought the 2024 Flash annual today, and enjoyed....parts of it. Which is actually a reflection of my feelings about the run as a whole. Here are my thoughts about the storyline so far, starting with the stuff I'm not crazy about.

SPOILERS AHEAD!

The Bad

I'm not a huge fan of Wally's kids suddenly having been aged up into teenagers. I liked them as younger kids, and it's frustrating to have them be advanced so rapidly into the more standard teenaged sidekick role.

Linda has been somewhat out of focus in the most recent issues of the story. I appreciate the attempt at tackling postpartum depression, but it feels as though the plot thread has been mostly lost amidst all the craziness.

Barry swearing is weird. He's such a clean-cut guy, and even though he's supposed to be somewhat out-of-character due to all the reality warping shenanigans, it's still odd to have him swearing constantly.

Amanda Waller is back, and she hates superheroes. Again. She's not exactly out-of-character or anything, but she's not really adding all that much to the plot. She's just here because of a tie-in crossover.

The tone of the book is rather dour and depressing. While it's not as relentlessly awful as it probably could be, I have to admit that having the entire Flash family be either depressed or on edge and at each others' throats is a bit depressing.

The Speed Force-related technobabble makes my brain hurt. I know that the Speed Force is always weird and esoteric and doesn't make sense, but this arc has been taking that up to eleven. I neither understand nor particularly care about the Arc Angles or the weird dimensional space-time stuff, and it frustrates me that so much panel time is devoted to that over and above character interactions.

This one is really minor, but I don't care for Evan's new astronaut costume. The original Mirror Master look was better.

Good Stuff

While the dour tone is a bit off-putting, I do at least respect the attempt to portray depression and burnout. For the most part, the symptoms are shown quite realistically, and, at least in Wally's case, it is a continuation of long-running mental health struggles. (Wally also suffered from depression shortly after becoming the Flash, so it does make some sense that his depression might resurface at some point.)

It's good to see Gorilla Grodd again. Before this arc, he hadn't done much for a few years, so it's nice to have him return (even if I'm not sure how he managed to get control over Gorilla City again).

The interactions between Wally and his kids (when they happen) are really solid, at least for the most part. I also like that Irey is still friends with Maxine Baker and that plot point wasn't dropped when the new writer took over.

Abra Kadabra makes total sense as part of the evil scheme, and Spurrier has thus far written him very well. I think it's been a good while since he was a major antagonist in anything, so I appreciate having him back as a Flash villain. I'm also relieved to learn that he was the Piper and not Hartley (mind-controlled or otherwise).

This may be the most interesting and threatening the Folded Man has ever been. Not that that's a particularly high bar to clear, but it's a nice change of pace to have him as a major villain.

Bart Allen and Max Mercury have been written well, and I'm glad that they're a team again.

Hartley has gotten to play an important role in the events of the story and is playing the role of tech support for the Flashes, just like he used to do during Wally's run. I'm very glad to have him around, and I hope that we get to see him in costume before the end of the run (especially given the way that Kadabra's evil scheme has co-opted his theme).

Evan McCulloch is back! I've missed him, and he and his phonetically-written Scottish accent have been one of the highlights of the run for me. He fits in with the book's plot and tone really well, given his weird eldritch powers, and this story has been a good showcase of just how dangerous he can be. I also particularly liked the bit where the Folded Man sarcastically suggested that Evan McCulloch's reward for participating in the plan was a hug; that was a good joke.

Unanswered Questions

Is McCulloch still dealing that Speed Force drug? And how was that connected to the overall evil plot?

Who or what is promising the rewards to the villains? Is it a pre-established villain, or some unknown cosmic horror?

Is Eobard Thawne involved in this scheme? If not, is one of the other Thawnes? I have to assume that at least one of them must be, because otherwise the "Crown of Thawnes" makes little sense.

What exactly has Evan been promised as a reward for his participation in the evil scheme? He's the only one we don't have a definite answer for, and I'm really curious as to what might be motivating him. If I were writing it, I would probably have the reward be a promise to let him go back in time and stop himself from accidentally shooting his father, but I do somewhat doubt that that's what he's actually been promised. Maybe it has something to do with reuniting him with the Rogues?

Are the social problems in Central City going to be addressed outside of Irey's ill-fated attempt to solve them? Is this going to be the next story arc, or an ongoing subplot? If so, I hope Hartley gets involved.

Is Evan still addicted to cocaine? Okay, admittedly this doesn't have much to do with anything, but I am curious.

Regardless of what Evan's been promised, Len needs to find him and whack him upside the head. This scheme is much more dangerous than anything he's been involved with previously, and he seems to have completely gone off the deep end in terms of the behavior he's willing to engage in to get what he wants.

[mightntbethebest]

Because I have the plague, here's some sick headcanons for the KF cast. I forgot a few characters but yk. I'm dying like George. [Under the cut so it doesn't fill your whole dash:]]

[You can tell when I got a migraine writing this lmao]

Forrest :

+ Bro is miserable. Just miserable. Even worse because he's older.

+ Nasally voice, but it sounds like he's twenty again, like, his voice is higher. Mine does that idk.

+ Constantly coughing once he goes off air from trying to sound normal, apologizes so much. Peggy makes fun of him.

Peggy! :

> Sopping wet cat face 23/7. Not even on purpose, her resting face is just a sad wet cat. Doing a customer service / work place credibility smile is hard when sick yk?

> Gets the sniffles somethin God awful. Tissues become her best friend [Sorry Karen]

> Really glad she doesn't have to do a lot of talking like Forrest does, it would drive her insane.

Marie :] :

- She doesn't even notice. Like she's inmune to getting sick for some magical reason? That or she's just really good at hiding it.

- She does get migraines though. Permanent knit brow. Unintentional glares good enough to rival her son's.

- Actually takes some sort of home medicine or remedy to help herself as soon as possible. She doesn't have time to be sick.

Henry! :

• Sopping wet cat face 2.0. Gets it from both parents. He just wants his mom:[

• Doesn't actually like to get help, figures he can do enough on his own--Marie does NOT let that slide. Not for her son.

• Literally just. So pouty. Hates getting sick.

George :] :

= Sopping wet cat 3.0. Absolutely miserable because Marie makes him stay in bed to relax.

= Staying in bed is something he is not good at. Can and has been caught doing chores around the place when he was supposed to be sleeping.

= Gets uber pouty when he can't go to non required events. Like, how dare they keep him bedridden for his own health. >:[.

Roller Ricky <3:

< Max is there to help, but when be gets sick he gets SICK, y'know?

< Maxy appreciates all the love he gets from Ricky hough. He spends a lot of his time resting to heal up, and when he gets a break between flares, he practices roller disco dances.

< Takes his free time seriously, and spends it doing self care to actually help his illness.

Carrie ! :

- Pissed that she still has to go to school. Gets to see Jeanie and Hot David though.

- Definitely does not go to bed on her usual time. Either crashes out early or is up till 3. No in-between.

- Gets her friends sick and feels REALLY bad about it. But at least if it gets to enough students then they can have a day off :]

Murphy ‼️:

- The best at home remedies a man coukd ask for. Definitely seems the time to take his good health seriously. Especially after Fernando was born.

- If he got Fernando sick he'd feel terrible about it, but give that baby the BEST care possible.

- Takes his time to rest and recuperate before doing anything he was able to put off. Likely watching TV or listening to The Scream.

Dr. Virginia Sullivan :] :

- Strangely enough, she puts her own health on the back burner. Out of habit and due to her sister's health.

- But when she can, she takes small steps to feel better when needed. She can't go into work sick after all.

- Her free time is spent on comfortable self care.

Maurice ';{ :

- Dude for the love of God please realize that you are in fact sick. Take a day off. It will be fine.

- Ignores his illness out of spite. It was just the way he grew up more than likely.

- His coworkers do as much as they can to keep him corralled in his main office though, so it doesn't spread.

Eugene B} :

- Takes a day off of school so he doesn't get anyone else sick. He cares about his class mates :]

- Spends his free time catching up on work, shows, or books.

- If he can, he'll phone friend to talk to after school hours.

Sandra :

- Another one who cares about her physical health. If it's bad enough she can't jazzercise, she does yoga to help anything physical. Even if it's just stretching to make her feel better.

- Keeps the studio closed and clean so no one else gets sick.

- Takes showerd hot enough to turn her into a lobster for the night.

Casey :

- Actually goes to the doctor. I feel like after what happened with Jason, she'd be a little more concerned about how to help someones health--And that includes her own!

- Goes on morning walks to feel a little better, especially if it's in the winter.

- If she feels up to it, she might do some singing:] I think she'd have a wonderful singing voice. Plus, it'd help with any congestion I've learned.

Jason :

- He definitely didn't care too much before WN87, but afterwards it became a mandatory thing for him to get himself checked out. He's kinda paranoid.

- Phones Casey or Chuck when he's got the time and feels a little better. If neither are available, he'll watch some TV and order a light dinner.

- Takes his down time to catch up on any sports or events.

[discorainycomputer]

Pokemon teams: Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann

I've wanted to do another one of these since my Dungeon Meshi / Delicious in dungeon ones. I'm not expecting this to reach many people, but if you disagree with my picks feel free to tell me so! These were made in a pretty short timeframe and I'll explain my process as i go. There will be spoilers.

Simon (Young): I wanted Simons first team to be weak, but full of potential. I'm no good at competetive pokemon, but i feel that if you leveled all these pokemon to their max evolutions you'd get a pretty decent team. Anyways moving on to the actual pokemons: The Drilbur line was made for Gurren Lagann. Drilbur is a digger just like Simon, with a signature drill. It also references Boota, its shiny because it looks more like Boota that way. Dreepy was added because i wanted to make a connection with Simons and Kaminas teams. I'll speak more on it in Kaminas section. Nosepass is referencing Lagann. Wishiwashi is symbolising Simons lack of confidence when being alone. Trapinch is a digging pokemon and is a lesser version of Flygon. Zygarde is a tiny weak thing that has great strength when it gathers itself, which is a pretty good way to describe Simon.

Kamina: I wanted Kaminas team to be extremely masculine as this is the idea of himself that he projects. Drakloak is carrying a little Dreepy on its head. This reminded me a lot of Kaminas and Simons relationship, which is why Simon has a Dreepy in his team. Although in reality its really Kamina that is carried by Simons abilities, this is how everyone besides Kamina sees their relationship. The big brother taking care of his younger brother. Krookodile was mostly picked because of its shades and it being a shady pokemon, which fits Kaminas infamous reputation in his village. Darmanitan fits his fiery motivation and is really just a nice pokemon for him. He is very hot headed after all. Golurk is representing Gurren, and also looks quite muscular which fits Kaminas masculine aesthetic. Flygon is here both to act as a bigger and better version of Simons Trapinch, but also here because of its goggles. Finally his last pokemon is Pyukumuku. This is my favourite part of his team because its the pokemon that fits his character the most. Kamina is a person that is nothing on his own. He lies about what he feels, he lies about his fears and doesnt speak about his insecurities. To everyone else he's the perfect leader. In reality, hes a 18 year old putting up the biggest front of all time to make the people in his life feel safe, especially his younger brother Simon. Pyukumuku on its own is a useless pokemon. It cant do any damage, except in certain situations. If you had a team with only a pyukumuku, you would most likely not be able to beat any pokemon game (Dont take this as a challenge). Pyukumuku shines better, when paired with a full team. Not only does this symbolise his status as the leader, but also his personality. In battles, he is never the deciding factor. He may shout the loudest, but the strength always comes from Simon. Kaminas role is making sure Simon believes in himself. He is the support. I see a lot of claims online sometimes saying Kamina is the manliest man, always seemingly because of his traditionally masculine traits. The real reason hes the greatest is the way he supports everyone. I hope after reading this you see why pyukumuku is his perfect pokemon. He is nothing alone, but as a leader, a brother, a friend or anything. He will always support you. (Also i like that Pyukumukus only way to attack is a fist, it fits Kamina). Sorry for the long rant, I'll be moving on now.

Yoko: For Yoko i wanted to make a mix of her status as a sniper, her attitude as a part of the team and her role as a teacher. Clawitzer and Sandaconda reference her status as the sniper, Blaziken is both a nod to her design having fire elements, and her more serious attitude. She can be a bit silly at times, but shes probably the most serious character of the crew. I think Blaziken fits her pretty well. Next up is Mantine, which i know looks a bit weird. Mantine is in a symbiotic relationship with schools of Remoraid. I thought this was a nice way to represent her status as a teacher taking care of the younger generation. The last two i picked mostly because i feel they fit her pretty well. Mawile is mostly because of the ponytail but also because it fits her personality as a teacher, being a mix of very nice/cute and scary. Lastly Tsareena just fits her. I've always felt it was a very, excuse my wording here, girlboss pokemon. Which fits her a lot.

Rossiu: For Rossius team i wanted to get a mix of his role being a wise person, relying on logic but also his status as a former religious person. Carracosta design wise always evoked a very wise feeling for me. It seems like a pokemon you could talk about your feelings to, and give that it could respond, it would give the answers you didnt know you needed. I think Rossiu is the most intelligent character (Except for Leeron which I forgot to make a team for...) and i wanted his team to reflect this. Next up is Sigilyph which is to my knowledge based on ancient angels. At least to me it evokes a very "Be not afraid" kind of feeling. I felt this fit his connection to religion fairly well. Next up is Golett which represents him taking over Gurren after Kaminas death. Gurren however is represented by Golurk, so him just having Golett represents that hes not really cut out for piloting Gurren. I felt Oranguru fit him alot as it seems to be designed to be like a sort of preacher. Not only is this a nice little nod to the leader of his village, I think they look alike, but its design also fits his nihilistic perpective and choices in the later episodes of the series. I wanted to fit into some technology into his team, so I included Klingklang. Lastly I added Duraludon Dynamax. It being a very modern building i felt fit his modern outlook on the world. He builds a democracy and society after the team fumble at building a government. I feel its a nice fit.

Nia: There are a lot of pokemon who share Nias colour palette, and i really love her design. Sylveon is basically her design, filled with ribbons and that colour scheme. I love Nias design, so i wanted to truly represent it. I also feel Primarina fits her a lot, no real substance here. Hatterene both fits her design, and represents her status as a princess. She was locked away which is also in Hatterenes design. Audino represents her empathy, and caring nature. She really is the heart of the team after Kaminas death. And draws the team forward. Mainly drawing Simon out of his depression, simply by treating him as a human being. This is also why I added Wishiwashi. Sharing a pokemon with Simons team. Like mentioned, Nia brought Simon out of his depression, so I felt this was a good way to symbolise her being a main factor in him growing as a person. Lastly I added Nihilego as its a cute design that fits her, but it also represents her being part anti-spiral, as a Ultra Beast is not a pokemon.

Kittan: I awnted to represent Kittans personality and status to the team. Tyrantrum represents him being agressive, sometimes throing tantrums and his King aesthetic. Pangoro represents him being a thug and i also feel it represents the black siblings pretty well. For Golisopod and Mimikyu I wanted to represent his insecurities. Golisopod because Kittan is a person who acts very tough but can be wimpy sometimes. Although this is really just for the start of the season. Mimikyu however is him trying to act like Kamina to be the leader the team needs after Kaminas death. Hes mimicing his behaviours but they dont work. He can never be Kamina, but he tries. For Rhyperior I wanted to represent him getting his own drill. Not Kaminas drill, and not Simons drill either. Its not Excadrills drill, its its own thing. Although the rest of the design doesnt really fit him, i really like this symbolically. Electivire is probably the weakest part of his team, but i feel it fits him visually.

Simon (Adult): I felt Simon deserved to have his team grow since my favourite part of this show is Simon moving past his self hatred to become the best version of his self. To get a bit personal here, I've alwways related to Simon since i first watched the show. I wanted to be like Kamina, and saw myself in Simon. Watching Simon grow up to be as amazing as he is motivates me when I'm at my lowest. Hes a character that always had it in him, but he just couldnt believe in himself. All he needed was someone to tell him that it was okay to believe in himself. And that it was okay to be him. This is something I really love with him. He truly grows up to be himself. Therefore this team is just a fully evolved version of his team when he was younger. He always had it in him, he just had to Believe. There are some nice touches here. Excadrills shiny looks suspiciously like Bootas humanoid form in the show, so I felt it was necessary. He also gets a Dragapult. Kamina only had a Drakloak. Simon surpasses the legend of Kamina while taking up his mantle. Then wwe have Wishiwashis school form. Simon is the person he is because of the people around him. He may not be entirely weak on his own, but Wishiwashi as a pokemon represents the theme of being stronger together very well, and Simon wouldnt be who he is without the people believing in him. Probopass is Lagann again, I've always had a soft spot for this guy, sorry theres not really any better reasoning. I wanted him to keep a Flygon aswell, not only because he gets Kaminas shades, but cooler, but also because i wanted him to have a part of Kaminas team with him. Kamina will always be in his heart, and on his back after all. Lastly I added Zygarde 100%. I usually hate giving legendaries to characters when I make pokemon teams, but this one is too perfect. It is litterally Gurren Lagann. Its the only thing i think of when I see this pokemon and if any character is deserving of a legendary in my eyes, its Simon.

I wanted to do Viral aswell, but i forgot about it and its now 9 am and I havent slept.

Anyway, if you got this far, or got anywhere at all on this post, thanks for reading it. This is my favourite anime of all time, and although some teams could be better I'm satisfied. Again if you are reading, thank you. Have a good day or night wherever you are.

[will80sbyers]

I get emotional if I think too much about how perfect for each other they are with Will needing someone to remind him that he's better for being different, someone that makes him feel like he's not a mistake, he's special and he deserves love too, and Mike needing someone that sees him and how compassionate and how amazing he is and that makes him open up, never making him feel like he can't be honest and just listening and caring about him with all he has... Will is making Mike feel secure just naturally with his love

they are written to complement the other one exactly like all the other good couples in the show, we also see how they learn from the other by interacting and kind of change for the better because of the other

Joyce starts the show with anxiety and being called crazy by people, Hopper is the only one that believes her and helps her deal with that and she becomes more and more badass in the seasons after that, Hopper has problems with his emotions and with talking about his feelings and being in touch with them and Joyce is a master at doing exactly that and she helps him and supports him to the point that he now willingly writes letters for his daughter and has emotional talks with people and even a random man in Russia with a great son named Mikhail...

Nancy starts the show with people not listening to her, undervaluing her because she's a woman that wants a career and she finds Jonathan that supports her dreams and thinks she is so capable that he's afraid of bringing her down without meaning to... and Nancy is the first person that sees that Jonathan is not just "a freak", he's caring and compassionate and Nancy is so capable on her own that Jonathan never feels like he has to take care of her in the same way that he had the responsibility of his whole family, he still supports her emotionally but Nancy is already responsible for her own life and can let Jonathan just be himself!

Lucas and Max complement each other too, in the first seasons Lucas was the one to treat her like a friend before everything else and Max needed that and she needed to feel included in something and Lucas gave her exactly that by trusting her with the truth about the Upside down... and especially in s4 where I think, to deal with her grief, Max needed someone as deeply loving and caring and open emotionally as Lucas is and at the same time Lucas needed someone that is never afraid of being different like Max is, she embraces her own differences in the show and Lucas this season was trying (even with good reason) to kind of hide his passion for d&d and "be normal"

[neondiamond]

🌈 Recently Read Fics - June 2023 🌈

These are all the amazing fics I read over the past month (from shortest to longest). Don’t forget to leave kudos and comments to show the authors your appreciation if you read any of these! 🩷

🌈 you can see my heart burning in the distance by @hershelsue (923, G)

Harry and Louis are an opposites attract couple. Harry wakes up at the crack of dawn to go to his law firm job, while Louis is just getting home from his DJ gigs. They make it work.

🌈 All This Time by @allwaswell16 (1k, T)

Louis Tomlinson had been best friends with flower shop owner Gemma Styles for years. It wasn't until she suggested he date her alpha brother that he ever thought of Harry that way. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea...

🌈 Completely Oblivious by @itsnotreal (1k, G)

an interaction with a stranger helps these two finally figure their shit out.

🌈 the sweetness of your words knows no bounds in making my heart leap by @bottomhaztoplou (1k, M)

At the end of his heat, Harry writes a letter.

At the beginning of his rut, Louis writes one back.

🌈 we will get another day (to begin again) by @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed (1k, T)

“There’s a ton of health benefits to it, look.”

Zayn gives Liam an unimpressed stare. He doesn’t even acknowledge the phone in his hand. “I don’t care if it makes me immortal, Leeyum, I’m not going to take a freaking ice bath at six in the morning.”

🌈 time can always heal you by @larriescompass (2k, G)

harry catches a fever, louis takes care of him.

🌈 Ask Him by @fxckingprincesspark (2k, T)

When Lewis Capaldi gets pressed for information on who he's dating, he admits it... he's been seeing Niall Horan. The only problem? He jokes so much that no one believes him.

🌈 routine surveillance by @disgruntledkittenface (2k, E)

Harry’s training period for the Bureau consists of routine surveillance. One night, it becomes a little less routine.

🌈 Harry, That Kills People by @londonfoginacup (2k, T)

If there’s one thing that Harry hates, it’s getting his clothes dirty.

If there’s one other thing that Harry hates, it’s murder.

Unfortunately, right here and right now, Harry’s clothes are dirty, and he’s murdered someone. So. It’s not a great day.

“Ugh,” says Harry. “Yeargh. Bleh.”

🌈 Write You A Song by @all-these-larrythings (6k, G)

Harry’s new flat is great but the acoustics are even better. They’re so good in fact that his daily shower concerts start to entertain an audience besides his shampoo bottle.

🌈 The Way to My Heart by @ladyaj-13 (6k, T)

Louis' having a bit of a dry spell, until he bumps into an attractive alpha in the supermarket and leaves with his number. It was a hard bump. Very... muscular.

The only problem is, said alpha asks Louis to cook for him - which is not exactly his skill set.

🌈 Hold Me Tight (Or Don’t) by @hellolovers13 (13k, E)

Falling in love with Louis is easy enough.

Separating Louis from the singer persona Harry has been a fan of for years, however, is not.

But she's not the only one making assumptions.

🌈 what’s left of my halo’s black by @loveislarryislove (22k, E)

A year after a devastating breakup, Louis is still trying to put himself back together - but getting over a breakup is hard when you work as a wedding planner. Thankfully, his coworker Harry is the most supportive friend Louis could ask for. But Harry has some secrets of his own, and they send Louis' world spinning off its axis all over again.

🌈 somewhere in between and not at all by @greeneyesfriedrice (24k, E)

Harry is new to NYC and discovers something about himself, and Louis is there for him. Always.

🌈 Bitter Ends Turn Sweet by @allwaswell16 (30k, E)

It had been four years since Harry first heard the song his ex wrote about him and far longer since they broke up. He forgave Louis long ago, and now his life was focused on his career, his family, and especially his son, Max. But Louis was back in Chicago, after all this time, and he’s not an easy man to ignore.

🌈 Some Records Turnin’ by @ireallysawanangel (49k, E)

Harry is a soft alpha who owns a record store and Louis is a closeted singer omega masquerading as an alpha who randomly stumbles into Harry’s store.

🌈 another dream but always you by @nobodymoves (60k, M)

Harry is a Dreamwalker; he has the ability to visit people in their dreams and help put them on the right path. He's assigned to Louis, who's struggling after the break-up of his band. It's an unusual assignment from the beginning; Harry has a crush on Louis, and Louis's subconscious immediately decides Harry is the love of his life. When Dreamers cast Harry as their love interest, he can usually redirect them, but Louis is insistent on being Harry's boyfriend, and despite knowing they have no future, Harry wants to keep up the charade.

[andiwriteordie]

party rule

have some og party vibes, immediately after s2 🫡

—

Okay, look.

Contrary to popular belief, Mike doesn’t enjoy fighting with people. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he knows he’s got a reputation of being kind of a know-it-all (it’s not his fault he’s smart enough to be right all the time) and that people just expect him to get into arguments. But it’s not like Mike enjoys fighting with people—least of all with the Party.

The Party is full of his best friends, after all. Well… his best friends and Max. Or… his best friends, Max, and his sort of, basically, unofficial girlfriend. Look, the logistics are just kind of complicated, alright? They’re all still getting worked out since the Party just got two brand new members. Either way though, Mike doesn’t really like fighting with the other Party members, except for maybe Max, who makes it too easy to fight with.

But sometimes, fighting with another Party member is the only option here—especially when another Party member has broken the rule of law.

Multiple. Times.

The Party isn’t a dictatorship, and Dustin better be thanking God and Jesus and whatever other deities exist out there for that fact, because if it was up to Mike, he would’ve probably ended up kicking Dustin out of the Party for his shitty mistake.

…

(Okay, fine. That’s probably an exaggeration. Dustin’s still his best friend, and Mike doesn’t actually want to kick him out of the Party. Maybe just a little bit. But not actually.)

“I already apologized a hundred times, Mike!” Dustin shouts, for the umpteenth time this afternoon. He throws his hands in the air, an exasperated look on his face. “Will accepted my apology, and Lucas did too! We all shook hands already! Jesus, why are you still being stubborn?” 

“Why am I being stubborn?” Mike exclaims, just as frustrated. Behind him, Will—or maybe Lucas, though it’s probably Will—sighs, sounding more tired than ever before. “Because you were stupid, Dustin! You kept a freaking demogorgon as a pet!”

“I didn’t know he was a demogorgon!” Dustin cries. It’s the same excuse he’s been using for the last hour now. “And I’d like to remind you that Dart saved our lives!” 

Mike fights the urge to roll his eyes. Again. Yeah, there is that detail, and Dustin’s technically correct. But quite frankly, Mike doesn’t care. As far as he’s concerned, Dustin broke the rule of law. He kept a stupid baby demogorgon which could have eaten all of them for dinner, he lied to the entire Party about it, and worst of all, he didn’t listen to Will.

For fuck’s sake, if anybody knows about the Upside Down, it’s Will. As soon as Will had alerted Mike to the fact that Dustin’s stupid pet was actually a creature from the Upside Down, Mike had shifted from “Curiosity Voyage” mode to “kill that motherfucker” mode. The fact that Dustin still kept Dart and hid him from the rest of the Party—all while Will was suffering under the fucking Mind Flayer’s control?

Jesus. Maybe Mike does want to kick Dustin out of the Party.

“Mike, it’s okay,” Will reassures, also for the umpteenth time this afternoon. He’s always been the peacekeeper of the Party, and yeah, Mike loves his best friend for that! But also, sometimes, an argument is necessary to actually figure shit out and to knock some sense into each other. 

So… ignoring Will it is.

“It’s okay,” Mike says with a scowl, and he crosses his arms over his chest, looking around his basement at his best friends. “And before any of you say that I should ‘just move on’ or ‘drop it’, I just want you to know that I don’t want to hear it.”

“Yeah, that much was a given,” Lucas says dryly. “Come on, man. Dart’s dead anyways. The gate’s closed. The Mind Flayer can’t come back. What does it matter anyways?”

At the mention of the Mind Flayer, Will flinches, but he doesn’t say anything else. There’s an uncomfortable look on his face, and oh, that just reignites the fire of frustration inside Mike’s heart. It’s barely been a week now since Will’s possession, so he’s clearly still trying to figure out how to get back to normal. Plus, on top of all that, they just passed the one year anniversary of his kidnapping, so… Will’s just having a really shitty couple of weeks. 

All the more reason for Mike to totally be justified in his anger at Dustin.

“It doesn’t matter anymore,” Dustin grumbles, shooting Mike a glare. “Mike’s just being an asshole.”

The fire in Mike’s chest grows, and he glares back at his best friend. “You don’t know that,” he snaps defensively.

And then all Mike’s fears come spilling out—reckless, but raw and honest.

 “None of us know that,” Mike adds, as the other Party members go quiet. “We thought things were over when El killed the demogorgon last year, and we got Will back. But then the demodogs and the Mind Flayer came around. We don’t know if it’s over.”

The look of panic forms on Will’s face, and he turns about three shades paler. Mike can’t help but wince. Quickly, he backtracks, “I mean… El closed the gate, so it should be over. It should. I’m not trying to say anything’s gonna happen again.”

“But what I am trying to say,” Mike adds, looking at Dustin now instead of Will, “is that we’ve gotta trust each other—especially with shit like this. Will told all of us Dart was dangerous, and you still didn’t listen to him, Dustin! And I think that’s really fucked up, okay? That’s why I’m mad! That’s why this sucks so much! Because you didn’t trust a fellow Party member, and you put the rest of the Party in danger because of it!”

Puberty, also known as Mike’s worst enemy, strikes again, and Mike’s voice cracks on those last few words. That’s the only reason. 

(It’s definitely not because the thought of losing his best friends to any of these awful creatures of the Upside Down makes bile rise in the back of Mike’s throat and hot tears burn his eyes.)

To his credit, Dustin seems genuinely guilty now, and it helps some of Mike’s anger dissipate. Okay, maybe he can tone it down and listen to Will’s advice now. No sense in being a dick about all of this anymore.

“Look,” Mike says, softer and a bit gentler now, “maybe none of this will ever matter again. If we’re lucky, then all of this is finally over, and we can just… forget about all of it. But if not, then we have to trust each other—and Eleven and Max too. We’re all the Party now, so no more secrets and no more hiding shitty things from each other.”

“And—” Mike narrows his eyes, looking back and forth between Dustin and Lucas now. “If there’s anyone who knows the Upside Down, it’s Will. So if this ever comes up again, then we listen to Will. Got it?”

All three of them go quiet. Will shifts in his seat, clearly a little uncomfortable with the topic of discussion, but when he meets Mike’s eyes, Mike knows Will gets it too. After all, Mike had been the first one Will chose to confide in when the Upside Down reared its ugly head again. Mike trusts Will with everything in him, and Will knows that.

Now, they just have to make sure that the others are on the same page.

“Okay,” Dustin says, quieter now. He glances over at Will—apologetic and guilty. “I… I am sorry, Will. I should’ve listened to you, and I just… I don’t know. I screwed up. And I’m sorry.”

A tiny smile forms on Will’s face, and he shakes his head. “It’s okay,” Will promises, and Mike knows he means it. “I get it. You and Dart had a bond.”

“Leave it to Dustin to bond with an interdimensional monster,” Lucas mumbles. “And over nougat of all things.”

To Mike’s relief, both Will and Dustin crack a grin at that, and Mike can’t help but smile either. The tension in the room begins to bleed away, and Mike feels just a little better now that he’s gotten that off his chest.

“I’ve got an idea,” Mike suggests, looking around at the others. “I say… we make a new Party rule.”

Curious expressions form on his best friends’ faces. “What rule?” Will asks curiously.

“If,” Mike says, making sure to emphasize that word, “the Upside Down ever comes back, we listen to Will. No questions asked, okay? We trust Will’s expertise on this. If we’re lucky, we’ll never have to use this rule. But if we’re not… I think we should make that a Party rule. Will knows the Upside Down the best, so we listen to him.”

Once again, Will winces, but judging by the look on his face, he understands the gravity of the situation. Beside him, Lucas nods. “I second that,” he agrees.

“I vote yes,” Dustin adds.

“Technically, the girls aren’t here to vote,” Will points out, and oh shit, yeah. The Party’s not just the four of them anymore, so they should probably get the girls’ input too. Though, technically, they have the votes to pass the new rule with just the four of them.

Oh well. Just to be fair, they’ll make sure the girls get to vote too.

“We can tell them about it later,” Mike decides. “I’m seeing El tomorrow, and Lucas, you can ask Max her vote. But I think they’ll vote yes too, so… I think we have a new Party rule. When it comes to the Upside Down, always trust Will.”

Lucas claps Will on his back, a grin on his face, and Dustin gives Will two thumbs up and a grin of his own. To his credit, Will manages his own strained smile, and he glances over, meeting Mike’s eyes.

“Let’s just… hope we never have to use it,” Will says softly. “Let’s hope that gate never opens up again.”

There’s a look in his eyes—one that’s wary and nervous—and a familiar, unsettled feeling forms in Mike’s stomach. For a moment, he stares back at his best friend, engaged in a silent conversation for only the two of them.

We closed the gate. 

He can’t get back out.

He won’t hurt you again.

We won’t let him.

A tiny smile forms on Will’s face before he glances away. “So, now that you guys are done arguing,” Will says, clearly ready to change the subject, “can we please start this campaign?”

Mike can’t help but grin, and all three of his best friends sit up, looking at him in excitement. “Hell yes,” Mike exclaims. “Come on. I’ve got so much planned for us tonight!”

[scenetocause]

any guesses as to how max and lando both wound up sick. just curious.

[cn: cheating]

"You haven't sucked me off for ages," Lando pouts. Max nearly chokes on his mouthful of avocado toast.

"Mate." His ears are turning pink, he can't look at Pietra. "What the fuck."

"Well it's true, you haven't." Lando says it primly, goes back to demolishing some poached eggs with gay - literally - abandon. Like he hasn't just derailed Max's life for the fiftieth and possibly worst time this week.

He's going to have to do it at some point so he glances round at Pietra, who at least doesn't look completely disgusted with him, just like she's contemplating ways to kill Lando. Which he's fully onboard with, actually. It could be a new date concept, if Lando's going to insist on coming along.

"No, I haven't," is all he can muster as a response.

-

The thing is. The thing is that Max knows he's being a little bit of a hypocrite on a whole bunch of levels. Because he used to come on all Lando and Luisa's dates and fill in all the ways Lando's a rubbish boyfriend by being a better one and she didn't seem to mind that Lando just doesn't count sleeping with Max as anything, so they'd carried on doing it. Max is also pretty good at being Lando's boyfriend, in terms of getting him to act normally.

But Max should've known it wasn't going to work the other way around. He'd been so careful to keep them separated, at first. Partly out of fear Pietra would realise he's very much not an F1 driver and realise she could do better but much more out of knowing this wasn't going to go down well with either of them. It's a hard sell "hey can my best friend, who's chronically weird, hang out with us all the time and also sometimes he has to spoon me for emotional support."

He's tried to find things in it for Pietra but she could go to Monaco anyway and have a more normal time. She's not that keen on coming to grand prix, although he thinks she would if it was his racing and let's not take that train of thought too far to the depression station.

And Lando can't act normal about him and Max doesn't want him to. Was maybe trying to provoke this by getting a girlfriend in the first place - which isn't fair, that's not why he's dating her, it's just that something makes him want Lando's attention as much as Lando wants to give it to him and if they could ever just make that work they'd probably be a lot more normal.

The problem, really, is that Lando feels much more like forever than his girlfriend does. Which is pretty cursed, especially when he's openly sabotaging Max in the middle of brunch.

-

She doesn't bring it up with him, probably because there's nothing to talk about. Max had caved under about one minute of scrutiny from her about the nature of his relationship to Lando and then promised they weren't like that anymore and then slept with Lando the second he touched down in Nice.

Which is bad. He knows it's bad. He objectively knows this is bad boyfriend stuff and he doesn't want to be that, he wants to make things work and be in love and get married and have kids. Be normal - except that he can't.

It's like the stupid mess in his brain. He could just not have whatever makes him demotivated and mopey for days on end and it'd be better. Simpler, at least. Make more sense for the way his life's supposed to be going but instead he's had Lando fussing over him for a week because Max accidentally said some depressed stuff even though he'd been pretending that wasn't really going on anymore and now Lando's trying to add every possible enrichment to his enclosure.

Which is how they've ended up in Max's bedroom, Lando's hair freshly clipped and stream done, with Lando trying to get his cock in Max's mouth.

"Will you," he bats Lando's hand away from his hair, "just stay still and let me do this?"

"I'm trying to help." Lando sounds way too aggrieved for a man about to get a blow job. "It's been so long maybe you've forgotten how to - ah"

Max hums, knowing how good that feels when someone's got their mouth round your dick and then relaxes his throat, leans into it. Feels himself drooling on Lando's dick at the same time as Lando settles back into the mattress, sighs out how much he's enjoying it.

"Ah, that's so good - you're so good."

It's embarrassing how easily taken apart Max is by the praise.

Lando's fingers thread through his hair and he doesn't fight it, this time. "I missed you, baby," Max groans at the nickname, dick twitching. "I missed this, missed us."

It's a good job there's a dick halfway down Max's throat so he can't say anything stupid like 'me too, buddy.'

Lando's leaking already, messy in Max's mouth when he swipes his tongue over the head, lapping at it. He always gets so needy for it, whimpering and whining and pushing his hips up in desperate little circles - it's like the opposite of the way he fucks Max, all deliberateness. Like this he's just a helpless kitten, biting his own fist to try and stifle the noises he's making.

Max pulls off for a second, strokes Lando's hip, when he's getting really desperate. "It's ok," he says, trying to guide Lando, get him to turn the overwhelming sensation into a conclusion and Lando just whimpers again, biting his lip.

He comes into Max's mouth a minute later, back arching and Max lies down, head on Lando's tummy, to kiss his heaving abs afterwards. Lando pulls him up after a minute, holds him and Max's erection isn't so urgent he can't enjoy it for awhile.

When Lando returns the favour, chaotically sucking Max's balls while he's jacking him off, it doesn't take long either for Max to come or for the guilt to sink in. He can't come up with an excuse for why he can't stop doing this, only the inevitability that he won't.

-

They both claim their sore throats are from golfing or the rain or hayfever or something. Lando smuggles Max back to Monte Carlo two days later and fucks him in every room.