#and the thing is that I'm tired of being in my room. I want to be outside.

[immafuneral]

I genuinely hope you don't mind me adding onto this post, but- On one hand, I really want to agree with this- I think it's so important to give people grace and the room and space to learn and grow, sometimes people aren't hateful, they're just uneducated and underexposed. Sometimes we ARE responsible for holding their hand through it and teaching them with kindness, patience and empathy. Do we owe it to them? No. But that's the only way that we're going to see positive change in people. No, it's not always going to work, it's not a guarantee, sometimes you ARE just wasting your energy on someone who will always choose hate and ignorance... But shame and rejection only pushes people further into stronger belief in the extremes they're being taught... Meaning to say, it goes both ways. On the other... I don't know man, I'm so tired. It's so hard to hold onto that belief when living in the US right now. It's so hard to tell myself that people need grace, they need help to improve, they need compassion- Proof that we aren't everything the truly hateful bigots say we are. I'm so angry, at the people who chose that fucking fascist as our president not out of hatred but out of ignorance, because that DOES make them just as bad. Their decisions have still lead to me living with the fear that I am going to be killed, alongside everyone I love... I think about how many of them might NOT have voted for him if they had someone in their life who was willing to empathize with and explain to them what they were actually choosing. When we treat it like- "Well they should have known!!- It should have been common sense!!!" Or "That's what we've been screaming about throughout the campaign!" Spreading that information is not the same as being with someone and walking through it on an individual, compassionate way. The same way your parents ask you things and you get frustrated at them because, why can't they just google it? They could google it, sure, and that might be a lot more convenient for you, because YOU'RE just going to google it.. But they're asking you because you're someone they trust and google is overwhelming to someone who isn't used to having this much information in their face, at their fingertips, all at once. They don't have the ability to discern reality from unreality on the internet. Why would the things they're reading, the news articles (propaganda) and posts they're seeing be untrue? But, unlike the Christian Missionaries, I live in a world where letting people outside of my bubble into my life is genuinely putting me at risk for being who I am- And I know that a lot of people feel the same right now. So where to we find the balance? How do we decide when it's safe, and when it's not safe? When do we have to decide that we do it anyway? Even if we know we're taking a risk?

So, you know how certain Christian missionaries are trained to act in a very obnoxious way, so that most people they preach to will reject them outright, so they feel like the world hates them for being Christian and they can only be friends with fellow Christians? You know that thing?

I think as activists, we sometimes need to stop and ask ourselves whether we're acting like those missionaries. I think this type of behavior is a little more ingrained into our society than some of us realize, and some of us have internalized it without realizing what it's actually meant to do.

[rafesslxt]

unknown number

pt. 1/2

SUMMARY: not only you are surprised when you get a drunk text from your brother that you should pick him up from a party - Topper's just as shocked as you are.

WARNINGS: Thornton!reader, brothers best friend trope, bickering, tension, quick deep talk with Topper

WORD COUNT: 1,7k

NOTE: english is not my first language | thank‘s to everyone for reading and supporting, comments and - are highly apprecaiated <3

🥥 🍋‍🟩 𓇼 ⋆｡˚ 𓆝⋆｡˚ 𓇼 🥭 🍍

Your body tried to make its way through the sweaty crowd dancing and drinking around you, the air thick with the scent of weed and expensive perfume. This wasn't on your agenda for tonight, getting your drunk brother out of a party, that's for sure.

"Hey sis, can u get me? I'm drunk as hell."

You weren't surprised, though. After Sarah had ditched him for John B, which was more than understandable for you but hey – Topper never wanted to listen to your advice, he seemed to try drowning the pain and hurt ego away by drinking and smoking.

The house you currently were in was familiar to you. Since Sarah's your best friend you spend a lot of time here but never during these party's, cause most of the time Rafe was the host and well - let's just say you tried to avoid any chance of being in a room with him together.

Because besides the hatred for their sister's trying to live the pogue life, Topper and Rafe had one thing more in common. They fell for the sister of their best friend. The only problem was, that Rafe never acted on his feeling. While Topper may be a complete idiot, he at least showed Sarah some kind of feelings, trying to wrap her around his fingers. But for Rafe? Bickering and hating was his way.

But Rafe apparently had a new way of drawing you into his space.

"Hey, did you see Topper?" You asked a guy which's name you could never remember no matter how often your brother tried to tell you. You just knew he often hang with them together. "No, sorry. Ask Rafe, he was with him a while ago." You instantly rolled your eyes but smiled at him and nodded in a way that was supposed to tell him 'thank you'.

You made your way further through the people until you reached the living room where you saw Rafe sitting on the couch, talking to two girls on either side of him.

Not bothering that you may interrupted something, you walked up behind him, not even caring enough to wait until he might realize you were standing behind him. "Have you seen my brother? He told me to come pick him up."

You looked down at his head which bend until it laid against the backrest, his pretty blue eyes meeting yours. Pretty ? No, you meant blue. Just blue.

"Oh If it isn't the princess of the Pogues, gracing us with her presence this night.", his voice dripped with sarcasm. "And to what do we owe this unexpected visit?" You rolled your eyes at his irritating words and crossed your arms in front of your chest. "Did you see Topper, Rafe?", you repeated.

His smile widened before he sat upright again, took a beer that was probably his from the desk, turned around and locked eyes with you again, walking around the couch towards you.

"Someone's in a grumpy mood today." he remarked, taking a sip of his beer. "Rafe If you don't-" "No need to be so uptight princess. The party just stared." You scoffed. "Well, apparently not If my brother's texting me to come pick his drunk ass up."

"Give him some time, he's trying to heal from a heartbreak. I mean I told him my sister is never hanging around for long but- well you know him. Had to try for himself."

You were slowly getting tired of the conversation and Rafe seemed to notice. "And as for where your brother is; I saw him with Kelce in the kitchen a few minutes ago. Just before you arrived, I think."

Without giving him a second more of your time, you turned around, walking towards the kitchen. Why didn't he just tell you 'Hey, Topper is in the kitchen.' ? Why does he always have to bicker with you and beat around the bush. Ugh.

Sarah always said he liked you but before Rafe Cameron actually had serious feelings for you or even anyone, hell would freeze over.

You walked into the kitchen of the Cameron's, immediately spotting your brother and Kelce, laughing loudly between some shots they were taking.

"Wow. You're really setting the bar lower and lower." You scoffed, making their heads turn towards you. "Y/n? What are you doing here? Aren't you with your little friends?" "Oh, hey pipsqueak." Kelce chuckled from behind Topper, waving at you with a drunken grin.

"Come on Topper, I don't have all night." I sighed, already about to leave the kitchen when he looked at me as If I had torn apart his favorite teddy bear apart that he hid under his bed whenever someone came over. "What the hell are you talking about?" "What the hell do you mean what the hell I'm talking about? You texted me to come pick you up because you're too drunk."

Just as he was about to answer, Rafe entered the kitchen and stood beside you. "Topper, why don't you listen to your sister and go with her, you've had enough for tonight."

Feeling betrayed, Topper was too stunned to speak, looking at Kelce for some backup. "Hey man don't get me into this." he replied to his look, throwing up his hands and spilling some of the liquid that was inside his shot glass.

"I didn't text you!" he exclaimed, reached into his pocket and searching for his phone. "Shit.. can't find it." You rolled your eyes, your patience slowly but clearly wearing off. "Topper.." "I swear I didn't!", he swore while continuing to search the insides of his few pockets. "Damn no really, where is it?", he asked himself.

"Come on man." Kelce chuckled and threw an arm around his friend, slowly guiding him outside the kitchen and towards the front door where you parked your car.

You stepped aside to let them pass, your gaze landing on Rafe who was already looking at you, licking his bottom lip before speaking. "Here." He reached into his pocket and handed you Topper's phone. "What? Why do you have my brother's phone ?", you asked him, as It didn't hit you yet what was going in.

"Thought he might need someone to pick him up before he would be a complete mess.", he chuckled, shrugging his shoulders and looking away for a short moment.

Your eyebrows shot up as the realization finally hit you."You texted me to come pick him up? Why would you do that?" He chuckled and looked down at you. " Like I said; I was worried about my friend." "Bullshit.", you called him out right away. "If you were worried about him, you would have told me where he was instead of beating around the bush."

"Just wanted some conversation." he replied simply, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. You took a deep breath and closed your eyes while doing so, trying not to let him get under your skin. It would only please him.

"Good night, Rafe." you smiled at him before turning around and pushing through sweaty crowd again, reaching your car where Kelce and Topper were already waiting for you.

You pressed the little button on your car key, allowing them to get in while you were still a few meters away. Kelce jumped into the back seat, and Topper settled next to you in the front.

You slid behind the wheel and closed your door, glancing over your shoulder at Topper’s friend. “Should I drive you home too?” you asked, reaching for your seatbelt and securing it right after.

“Sure thing, pipsqueak,” he grinned, his eyes heavy and his body slumping down onto the back seat. You rolled your eyes for what felt like the hundredth time in the last thirty minutes and started the engine, pulling away from the property.

A few minutes into the drive, you looked over to your right. “You’re lucky. Mom and Dad aren’t home tonight,” you smirked slowly, trying to lighten the mood since he was still your annoying brother. Annoying, but family.

A scoff escaped his lips as he stared out the window. “As if they’re ever home.” 

You sighed quietly, shrugging your shoulders. “Well, it’s still better than having to explain why you’re drunk and high.” 

“They wouldn’t understand anyway. They never do. All they do is scream and complain. They don’t care.” He turned his head toward you, studying your face. “But honestly, I don’t know which one of us they’re more disappointed in,” he chuckled.

“Yeah… Mom’s worried I’m drinking myself into a coma, while Dad is worried you’ll run off with Maybank or some other pogue.” The car fell silent for a moment before you both erupted into unexpected laughter. 

"Honestly, I don’t know which one is worse,” you giggled, gripping the wheel a little tighter as you turned onto your street. "Not sure who's setting the bar lower now, huh?" Topper smirked.

“I guess we should take him with us tonight before his parents have a heart attack,” you suggested, nodding toward Kelce, who was snoring in the back seat.

“Yeah…” he glanced at his friend and then back at you. “Thank you for picking me up, even though I didn’t text you. It’s good to know I can still count on you.” He smiled softly at you, placing his hand on your shoulder.

"No problem, Topper." you smiled back at him before turning off your car and finally parked in your garage. "Let‘s get him inside.", you grinned, eager to get out like Topper, when your phone suddenly vibrated in your purse.

Hm, probably the pogues asking If everything‘s alright after you left so quick with only telling them it‘s an 'family emergency'.

You opened your little white purse Sarah had given you on your last birthday and rummaged through it, fishing out your phone. You had a few messages from JJ and Sarah, asking you when - wait.

What was that? A message by an unknown number.

unknown number

i took the liberty of grabbing your number while I had the chance to.

was nice seeing you tonight, hot and bothered like always..

sweets dreams, angel.

xx rafe

That son of a - wait, why were you smiling together with your heart beating faster ?

masterlist | taglist | navigation | valentines day special

tags: @supernaturaldawning @cardibre91 @aegonsslxt @juliet-017

xoxo sarah <3

[andy-15-07]

hii i read always about pedro pascal characters being grumpy towards reader and then feeling bad about it and comforting her so i just wanted to ask maybe reader being grumpy about something and being angry towards pedro himself or any of his characters and they are like confused and hurt, did they do something and then reader comforting them and shushing them that everything is okey and that they did nothing wrong, like babying them🩷🩷

Shushing the Storm

Pairing: Joel Miller x female reader

Word Count: 3247 | Requests are open! (send requests, I will gladly answer them all)

Pedro Pascal Masterlist

The wind howled outside the ramshackle shelter you’d taken refuge in, its mournful song echoing the turmoil that churned inside you. The remnants of a once-bustling world lay in ruins beyond the makeshift walls—a constant reminder of loss and struggle. Inside, however, the conflict was of another kind. It was raw, messy, and incredibly personal.

You sat at a battered wooden table, arms crossed tightly over your chest, staring daggers at Joel as he meticulously cleaned his old revolver. His normally stoic face was shadowed with an expression that seemed a blend of regret and confusion. The silence between you had stretched thin over the past few days, each passing moment weighted by words left unsaid and wounds unhealed.

“Joel,” you finally said, your voice low and edged with frustration. “Why do you always have to be so damn grumpy? I’m tired of it.”

He paused, the clink of metal against metal echoing in the quiet. Slowly, he set the gun aside and turned to you, his eyes searching yours for an answer he didn’t quite have. “I—I don’t know what you mean,” he stammered, his tone soft and uncertain, as if he were afraid any misstep might shatter something fragile between you.

“Don’t lie to me,” you snapped, the anger bubbling over. “Every time something’s off, you shut me out. You snap, you grumble, and you leave me hanging without an explanation. It’s like I’m not even here.” Your words were harsh, each syllable laced with the pent-up hurt of countless moments when you felt invisible, unwanted.

Joel’s brow furrowed, and he stepped back as if physically recoiling from the weight of your disappointment. “I—I'm sorry,” he murmured, but his apology sounded more like a reflex than genuine remorse. His voice was low, almost drowned out by the rain that began tapping against the metal roof of the shelter.

The tension in the room grew palpable. You could see the conflict in his eyes—his hardened exterior cracking just enough to reveal a vulnerable, confused man beneath. “Sorry isn’t enough, Joel,” you said sharply. “I need to know that you’re really here with me, that you care enough to try to fix this.”

He shifted his weight uneasily, running a hand through his tousled hair. “I do care,” he replied, his voice barely audible. “I just... sometimes, I can’t help it. I’ve been through hell, and sometimes, I carry that with me, even when I don’t want to.”

You softened slightly at his confession, but the anger still simmered beneath the surface. “That may be true, but I’m not your enemy,” you whispered, the bitterness in your tone giving way to genuine concern. “I’m here, Joel. I’m right here. And when you push me away, it hurts.”

Joel’s eyes dropped to the floor, shame mingling with a hurt he couldn’t quite hide. “I didn’t realize... I—I thought I was protecting you. I thought I was sparing you from my baggage,” he confessed, his words a murmur of regret.

You leaned forward, your expression softening further as you reached out a tentative hand towards him. “You’re not a burden,” you said, your voice gentle yet insistent. “You never have been. I know things are hard, and I know you’re scared sometimes. But I want to help, Joel. I want us to face this together.”

For a long, heart-stopping moment, silence stretched between you, punctuated only by the rhythm of the rain. Joel looked up at you then, eyes glistening with unshed tears and confusion. “I’m scared too,” he admitted, his voice trembling. “I’m scared of letting you in, scared that if I do, you’ll see how broken I am.”

A small, bittersweet smile tugged at your lips. “Maybe,” you said softly, “but I’d rather see that brokenness and help put it back together than never know the real you at all.”

He hesitated, his eyes searching yours for any sign of mockery or disdain, but finding only sincerity and compassion. “I don’t deserve your kindness,” he whispered, his tone laden with self-doubt.

“Shh, Joel,” you murmured, reaching out to gently brush a stray lock of hair from his forehead. “You do. And I’m not going anywhere.” The simple words carried the weight of your promise—a promise to be there even when things were messy, even when the storm inside him threatened to spill over.

Later that evening, as the storm outside began to wane, you found Joel sitting alone on the splintered porch of the shelter, staring blankly at the rain-soaked horizon. The world might have been falling apart, but you couldn’t bear to leave him alone with his demons any longer.

You approached quietly, settling down beside him on the creaking wooden steps. “Hey,” you said softly, nudging his shoulder with your hand. “Talk to me.”

Joel didn’t immediately respond, his eyes fixed on the distant, darkened skyline. Finally, he let out a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry for snapping at you earlier,” he said, his voice thick with remorse. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

You turned to face him, studying the lines of exhaustion and regret that marred his face. “Joel, it’s okay,” you reassured him, placing a comforting hand over his. “I know you’re hurting, and sometimes you don’t know how to handle it. But I need you to understand that when you shut me out, it leaves me feeling alone too.”

He looked at you, the hurt in his eyes deepening. “I thought I was doing the right thing,” he murmured. “I thought I was protecting you, keeping you safe from my pain.”

“You’re protecting yourself, Joel,” you replied firmly, though your tone was gentle. “And I get that. But you have to let me in too. You’re not alone in this fight. I’m here, and I want to be part of your healing.”

There was a pause, during which the only sound was the soft murmur of the evening breeze and the distant echo of dripping water. Joel swallowed hard, his gaze dropping to your intertwined hands. “I’m just so tired,” he confessed, almost inaudibly. “Tired of pretending, tired of feeling like I’m always on the edge. Sometimes, I just... I just don’t know how to stop the storm inside.”

You squeezed his hand gently, your eyes filled with compassion. “Then let me help calm that storm,” you whispered, your voice laced with tenderness. “You don’t have to be strong all the time, Joel. It’s okay to let your guard down. I’m here to remind you that you’re not broken beyond repair.”

He chuckled softly, a sound that was more sorrow than humor. “You make it sound so simple,” he remarked, his tone bittersweet.

“It isn’t simple,” you admitted, shifting closer so that your shoulders touched. “But sometimes, even when things seem impossible, a little kindness can go a long way. I’m not trying to fix you, Joel—I’m just here to remind you that you’re loved, flaws and all.”

His eyes shimmered with unshed tears as he looked at you, a mixture of gratitude and vulnerability etched in every line of his face. “I—thank you,” he managed, his voice barely more than a whisper. “For not giving up on me.”

You leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to his temple. “Never,” you promised, your voice gentle yet firm. “I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

The following morning, the shelter was filled with a tentative warmth. The storm had passed, leaving behind a calm that was reflected in the clear, pale light of dawn. Over a modest breakfast of canned beans and stale bread, the atmosphere was markedly lighter than it had been in the preceding days.

“Joel,” you began hesitantly, “can we talk about what happened? I don’t want us to just sweep it under the rug.”

He looked up from his cup of weak coffee, eyes filled with a cautious hope. “Of course,” he replied. “I know I’ve been... distant. I’m sorry for how I acted. I—” He paused, searching for the right words, “I’ve been carrying a lot of guilt about my past, and it sometimes makes me push you away. I don’t want to do that. I’m trying, I really am.”

You reached out, placing your hand over his, offering silent reassurance. “I appreciate that,” you said softly. “But I also need you to understand how it affects me. When you get grumpy or distant, it makes me feel like maybe I’m not enough. Like maybe you’d rather be alone than deal with my needs.”

His face fell, and for a moment, you saw the raw sting of his insecurities. “That’s not true,” he insisted, his voice shaking slightly. “You’re more than enough—if anything, you’re the reason I keep fighting. I don’t want to hurt you.”

You offered him a small, forgiving smile. “I know you don’t. And I’m not angry with you, Joel. I’m angry because I know you’re hurting, and because I care about you so much. I just wish you’d let me in more often.”

A long silence passed as he absorbed your words. Finally, he said, “Maybe I’ve been too afraid of being vulnerable. I’ve spent so long thinking that if I showed any weakness, it would all come crashing down. But… maybe it’s time I learned that it’s okay to lean on someone else.”

Your eyes shone with relief and tenderness. “It is okay,” you assured him. “Sometimes, being vulnerable is the bravest thing you can do. And I’ll be here to help carry the weight when it gets too much.”

Joel’s fingers curled around yours in a tentative grasp, as if testing the strength of the connection between you. “Promise me,” he said, his voice earnest, “that you’ll be patient with me. That even on my worst days, you won’t give up on me.”

“I promise,” you replied without hesitation. “I’m here for the long haul. Even when things get rough, I’ll always be here to shush the storm inside you and remind you that you’re safe.”

He gave a small, grateful laugh. “You really do have a way of making things seem less terrible,” he admitted, the corners of his mouth lifting ever so slightly.

“Maybe it’s because I know that sometimes, the roughest storms hide the most beautiful rainbows,” you said, your tone light but sincere. “And I believe in you, Joel—even when you can’t believe in yourself.”

As the days turned into weeks, the delicate dance between anger, hurt, and healing continued. There were still moments when Joel’s grumpiness would flare up—when memories of his past would surge forth like unwelcome ghosts—but each time, you found yourself ready to meet him with understanding instead of frustration.

One chilly evening, after a particularly difficult day scavenging for supplies in the ruins of an abandoned town, you returned to the shelter to find Joel slumped in a corner, his face obscured by shadow. The weight of unspoken words hung heavily in the air. You approached slowly, not wanting to startle him, but determined to offer the comfort he so desperately needed.

“Joel?” you asked gently, crouching beside him. “Talk to me, please.”

He looked up, eyes rimmed with tears and haunted by exhaustion. “I’m sorry,” he began, his voice cracking under the strain of emotions. “I know I’ve been a mess lately. I... I feel like I’m drowning, and I don’t know how to come up for air.”

You scooted closer, wrapping an arm around his shoulders as you spoke softly, “It’s alright. You don’t have to apologize for feeling like this. It’s okay to be scared, and it’s okay to cry.”

He leaned into your embrace, the rawness of his pain palpable. “I feel so weak, so broken,” he admitted, voice barely above a whisper. “I keep pushing everyone away because I think it’s easier than facing how much I need them.”

You pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead. “You’re not weak, Joel. You’re hurting, and that’s human. It’s okay to let yourself feel it. I promise, you don’t have to carry this all by yourself.” Your words, soft and earnest, were meant to be a soothing balm to his wounded spirit.

He sniffled, pulling back just enough to meet your eyes. “I’m scared that if I let you in completely, you’ll see just how damaged I am and… maybe you won’t want to stick around.”

“Joel,” you said firmly, “I’m not going anywhere. Every scar, every mistake—it all makes you who you are. And I wouldn’t trade any of it for the world because it led me to you.” You paused, your tone shifting to a tender, almost playful lilt as you added, “Besides, you’re kind of adorable when you’re trying to be all tough and mysterious. It’s like I get to be the one who gets to shush you and remind you that you’re safe.”

A hesitant smile tugged at his lips, the hint of humor breaking through the gloom. “Adorable, huh?” he teased softly, though the vulnerability in his eyes remained.

“Absolutely,” you replied, your tone light but filled with warmth. “Just promise me you’ll try to let me in a little more, okay? Even if it’s just a little bit at a time.”

“I promise,” he murmured, leaning into your embrace once more. “I’ll try. For you.”

In the weeks that followed, the shifts were subtle but profound. There were mornings when you’d catch him watching you with a softness in his eyes that hadn’t been there before, as if he was silently apologizing for all the times he’d been distant. And on days when old habits threatened to resurface, you’d gently remind him with a tender smile, “It’s okay, Joel. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

He’d chuckle, a soft, self-deprecating sound. “I guess I do need reminding sometimes,” he’d say, his tone laced with a mix of amusement and gratitude.

One particularly quiet afternoon, as you both sat by a small fire outside the shelter, you found him staring into the flames, lost in thought. The dancing light painted shifting patterns on his weathered face. You settled beside him, resting your head lightly on his shoulder.

“Do you ever wonder if we’ll ever get past all this?” he asked quietly, his voice barely audible over the crackling fire.

You sighed, thoughtful. “Every day,” you admitted. “But I also believe that every storm eventually passes. And until then, we have each other. We have these moments—small, quiet moments—that remind us that even in the worst of times, there’s still hope.”

He turned to look at you, eyes softening. “You make it sound so simple,” he said, half in awe, half in disbelief.

“It isn’t simple,” you replied gently. “But sometimes, the simplest things are the most profound. Like a soft word when you’re angry, a gentle touch when you’re hurting, or a quiet reminder that you’re never truly alone.”

Joel’s gaze drifted back to the flames, and for a moment, the silence between you was comfortable—a shared understanding without the need for constant words. Then, almost shyly, he asked, “Do you really think I’m worth all this? With my baggage and my broken pieces?”

You turned to him, your eyes steady and full of certainty. “I don’t just think it, Joel—I know it. You’re worth every bit of struggle, every tear, every moment of pain, because you’re you. And I wouldn’t change a single thing about you.”

He reached out and pulled you closer, as if trying to hold onto that assurance with all his might. “Thank you,” he whispered, voice thick with emotion. “Thank you for not giving up on me, even when I make it hard.”

“Never,” you promised, smoothing your hand over his hair. “I’ll always be here to shush the storm inside you, to remind you that it’s okay to be vulnerable, and that you’re loved—no matter what.”

As the fire dwindled to glowing embers, you both sat in companionable silence, the trials of the past few days melting away in the warmth of your mutual understanding. In that quiet moment, beneath a sky slowly clearing of its dark clouds, you knew that despite the scars and the struggles, there was something undeniably beautiful about the way you and Joel were learning to navigate the chaos—together.

Time moved on, as it inevitably does, carrying with it both hardship and healing. There were days when Joel’s grumpiness would creep back in, a stubborn remnant of the pain he’d carried for so long. And on those days, you’d catch him off guard with a teasing remark or a playful nudge, lightening the mood with a reminder that even the toughest exterior could be softened by a gentle touch.

One afternoon, after a long day of foraging near the outskirts of a crumbling city, you found Joel standing by the old, rusted gate of what once might have been a grand estate. The wind tousled his hair as he gazed out at the horizon, lost in his own thoughts. You approached quietly, a small smile on your lips.

“Hey, Mr. Tough Guy,” you said, wrapping your arms around his waist from behind. “Remember our little promise?”

He turned slightly, a wry smile forming on his lips despite the lingering shadows in his eyes. “And what promise might that be?” he teased, though there was a softness to his tone that hadn’t been there before.

“The promise that no matter how rough things get, you’ll let me in just a little more each day,” you replied, your voice playful yet sincere.

Joel’s eyes crinkled at the corners as he pulled you into a gentle hug. “I think I can manage that,” he said, the warmth of his acceptance resonating in his tone. “Especially if you keep reminding me that it’s okay to be a little... weak sometimes.”

You laughed softly, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “I wouldn’t have it any other way. Besides, I get to be the one who shushes all that unnecessary grumpiness with a smile.”

He shook his head, a small chuckle escaping him as he held you close. “You’re something else, you know that?”

“Maybe,” you admitted with a grin. “But I wouldn’t trade our little chaos for the world.”

In that moment, as the sun dipped low and bathed the ruined city in a golden glow, you both understood that life was a series of storms and quiet moments—a tapestry woven with threads of pain, hope, and the enduring power of compassion. And as long as you had each other to lean on, there was no storm too fierce, no wound too deep, and no darkness that couldn’t be softened by the light of understanding.

So here’s to the grumpy days, the moments of anger and hurt, and to the gentle shushing that followed—each a testament to the messy, beautiful journey of healing together. And as you and Joel continued to navigate the uncertain path ahead, you knew that every soft word, every tender touch, and every moment of vulnerability was a step towards mending not just the scars of the past, but the promise of a better tomorrow.

“I love you,” Joel murmured one evening as you both settled down to rest after a particularly hard day, his voice raw but sincere.

You smiled, your heart full. “I know. And I love you too���grumpiness, storms, and all.”

In that moment, as the last embers of the day faded into night, everything felt exactly as it should: imperfect, challenging, but undeniably real—and infinitely worth it.

[not-too-many-eyes]

Regarding Bella's Existence

(Also Known as: Nott is really tired of people repeating a very big misconception regarding their relationship that gets denied in the text itself, and decided to make a post about it in the hopes people stop repeating it)

I've been planning to write about Semmelweis for a while now. She's one of my personal favorite characters, and I have a lot of thoughts regarding her, her background, and her beliefs. However I was waiting for a future Series of Dusks update to happen before writing that post so that I could write something comprehensive and resolved.

However, I've been routinely annoyed in seeing the same misconception be repeated again and again about Semmelweis and Bella's relationship whenever I look into here, YouTube comments, or having the misfortune of deciding to look at the Discord for some reason.

That misconception being the idea that Bella is just a very sentient hallucination.

The Report Now, let's get the easy part of this explanation out of the way as to why Bella Isn't a Hallucination. That being this is something that gets directly addressed, and denied in text, multiple times in fact! The first is in A Series of Dusks Part 2 "Second-Class Citizen:"

Semmelweis: Whoever you are. I have a poor opinion of things that try to interfere with my mind. Bella: Ah, so you think I'm a result of the Beyond Disease? Just another hallucination, a nightmare Bella: But you've read the reports. So you know what this really is, you know that Miss Klara's Arcane Skill lets you glimpse at your inner self Bella: Your not a fool, my dear. Do you still want to deny the truth right before your eyes? Semmelweis: ... Bella: It is an extraordinary ability, wouldn't you agree? Bella: And for one so accustomed to deceiving everyone, even yourself. It proves dangerously effective.

This is a direct denial of the idea Bella is a hallucination. Kakania's Arcane Skill lets one look into their inner world in great detail. As it so so happens, Semmelweis' inner world has her and Bella as the main tenants of it. Bella might have even been there since she was a child. We don't know, we just know she didn't come into existence because of the Beyond Syndrome.

However, Semmelweis is In Denial that Bella is real, and has been inside of her for god knows how long at this point, which leads to me to the second time that the text denies that Bella is a hallucination. Which is in Part 6 of A Series of Dusks, Fate in the Mirror:

Bella: The Storm Syndrome this time is so much more fun that the previous ones, wouldn't you agree? Bella appears at Semmelweis' side, she seems so much more real than ever before. Semmelweis: I wish I could share your perspective. However, uninvited hallucinations are not included in the symptoms of the Storm Syndrome this time. Bella: If only it were that, no, you can see me precisely because the Beyond's bloodline is already altering your mind. Bella: It's a change that brings tearing and reorganization. And it seems like I am one such part that is being torn out. Bella: And as a part of you. I believe I have the right to object to your behavior.

Semmelweis calls her a hallucination again after this, because both her and Bella have a really bad case of Internalized Ableism, but again, Bella denies that she's here because of the Beyond Disease. Actually quite the opposite, she says she's here because the Beyond Disease Wants Her Gone. She's a part of Semmelweis that is being deemed "unwanted" by the disease.

Which leads me to Part 7, Waves and Notes. While it initially seems like Lorelei's words here about how Semmelweis is "talking to herself" would destroy the idea Bella isn't a hallucination and it's actually Bella who's in denial of her own existence. It doesn't really.

There's two possible explanations to it actually, the worse, boring one that I don't like as much which is "The Bella here is a hallucination" which tracks if you take Semmelweis meeting Bella in the therapist room as the actual Bella based on her going "I didn't expect we would meet again under these circumstances," and tracks with Semmelweis Actually Hallucinating Bella in her Ancedote and using her as a soundboard for her fears (we will get to this later.) However, this goes against both how that is Visually showcased in her Ancedote, how Semmelweis' hallucinations Usually go, and causes more internal hiccups with what happens before that scene, and Lorelei says Afterwards, than the second, more fun explanation does, which is that it acts as a resolution to Semmelweis' own denial of Bella's existence, and Bella's own internalized ableism.

It's not something that's drawn much attention to, but Bella Really Hates the idea of seeming "insane" and trusting anyone who seems "insane."

Bella: You don't believe these two lunatics, do you? Bella: You think you're taking back control. But all your doing is handing over your fate from the Foundation to these two crazed Arcanists.

It's a fear Bella expresses in Fate in the Mirror. That ultimately Sememlweis is losing the safety provided by the Foundation for something that won't help her at all in the end.

This might seem contradictory with how she acted with Semmelweis in Second-Class Citizen but it's actually internally consistent with Bella's two main goals. Which is that she wants Semmelweis to be Honest with Herself about what she actually wants, and she wants Semmelweis to be Safe. To Bella, the Foundation is safer than the two "insane" arcanists. So she roots for Semmelweis to go back to the Foundation.

Due to this mistrust in the mentally ill, and possibly other reasons such as Semmelweis repressing and not acknowledging her existence, and calling her a hallucination at every turn even though Bella Knows she isn't, lack of proper medical care and literature (we know Very Well Semmelweis has had bad experiences with Doctors,) etc. Bella has checked the two of them out of the "insane mentally ill people" box.

Despite Semmelweis actually experincing hallucinations, despite being able to recognize that people usually can't see or hear her, calling her and Semmelweis "the same person" like- 30 minutes ago in the game's time, and despite knowing that her existence resembles that of a hallucination. Bella is acting as if her existence is just a normal part of life and not- I dunno- the most well known symptom of a dissociative disorder.

So when Lorelei outright says that Semmelweis has been talking to herself. It disturbs that perception. It's a logic error in her perspective of herself and Semmelweis that she's only noticed due to it being called out and it freaks her out.

Notice, Lorelei never says that Bella is a hallucination. And actually she acknowledges Bella as a Person, or at the very least "A Part" of Semmelweis.

Lorelei: You must learn to accept all parts of yourself, rational and emotional. Both... Lorelei: Semmelweis and Bella. (...) Lorelei: How else could I know your names, my dears? Semmelweis & Bella: No, that can't be! Lorelei: Why do you refuse to accept what you are, my little musical note? Lorelei: You are a beautiful composition. Why should you tear yourself apart?

She wants Semmelweis to reconcile the divide between herself, her mental state, and her and Bella. Which finally resolves at the end of this part where Semmelweis goes:

Bella: I see. Then no one can change your mind. You're always like this. Semmelweis: We're always like this.

Semmelweis uses Plural Pronouns here because she has Acknowledged Bella as an Actual Person and Not a Hallucination. Thus showcasing her coming to some terms with her mental illneses- so can I call Bella an alter already? Have I convinced people enough that Bella is not a Hallucination? ...Okay not yet, because there is still the elephant in the room.

The Third Circumstance

In the The Third Circumstance we get to see Semmelweis actually hallucinate Bella! And also Valentina! They are here trying to goad her into drinking the blood of innocents, and to do murders.

Now, this seems kinda bad for my arguments on two levels, that being Bella is here as a hallucination, and the second being that if I Say this is Bella and not a hallucination then it feeds into the idea of Bella being an "evil alter." But I actually have a very simple argument that cuts through that.

They don't use Bella's sprite to represent here here.

This is a really weird detail. They have Bella's sprite, they've been using it for every single one of her appearances, and Valentina's sprite is being used.

So why not use Bella's sprite?

Well it's simple, that is actually hallucination Bella, and her sprite is deliberately not being not being used to showcase that Semmelweis’ fears still haven’t been fully quelled.

Because Semmelweis, despite choosing to become a vampire, is still afraid of what that could Mean. The Ancedote is showing her denying her actual dietary needs out of fear of what that blood drinking could represent.

We know she gets over this fear, after all, she jokes about it with Vertin in the Suitcase.

Semmelweis, Bond-Morning: I admit, I am glad to find you seldom invite others to share breakfast here. Personally, I find myself more comfortable drinking blood when you and I are alone… Oh, do relax, I prepared a salad today, no blood bags involved.

And her uh- entire fighting style is centered around blood. She's grown accustomed to herself, and has learned how to manage and take care of herself.

Similarly, Semmelweis is at the point where she’s resolved to accept her “madness” but is afriad what that could mean. Her hallucinations are written to reflect that fear, beforehand they were mostly persecutory hallucinations involving her in danger or being treated badly in some way. Now she’s afraid of what she might do to others, her poor diatery habits making the problem worse.

The point we see Semmelweis in at her anecdote is her at a regression. She's made the choice but the implications of that choice are now weighing on her. We even see Semmelweis repersent herself as "The Field Agent" as the first hallucination ends.

Plus, the portrayal of Bella is just- internally inconsistent.

Again, Bella's most important goals is for Semmelweis to be Honest and Safe, and she was actively against Semmelweis becoming a vampire. Bella has been shown to Not Like Valentina much, and is not exactly someone who would:

Valentina & Bella: You need blood, just a little taste. Then we won't bother you anymore, we'll lie at your feet like faithful hounds.

When Bella is acknowledged to be as stubborn as Semmelweis is.

At the very least, I distinctly doubt she'd encourage Semmelweis shooting a child, and drink his blood in the middle of the day where people can see her. She'd tell her to do it in secret where the Foundation wouldn't notice-

Though, to just put another nail into the coffin into that idea. We actually Meet Bella in the suitcase.

When you play the audio for Semmelweis' Insight 2 Voiceline she has two different animations depending on whether it's her or Bella.

Indicating that it's a different person talking.

The first part of the voice line is actually a reference to the base ending of A Series of Dusks "A Wish Granted." And in that first part Bella says that she's finally back, and is glad to see her wish (Semmelweis being honest and safe.) Having come true. Implying that she hasn't been talking to Semmelweis much since A Series of Dusks.

Really it's implied that usually Bella and Semmelweis don't communicate much with each other, which is part of why Semmelweis hasn't acknowledged her 'till now. But that goes into some stuff that hasn't been revealed in Global yet so I won't discuss it in detail.

So...yeah! Stop calling Bella a Hallucination when the game has stated and shown Multiple Times that she isn't! Semmelweis has Hallucinations but Bella is Not One Of Them!

[echantedtoon]

Hello!

Your ‘A Rock and A hard place’ book is one of my favourites! I wanted to request a Kokushibo version of it in a chapter.

Thank you! <33

Here it is. I'm not sure myself if it's cannon or not. If you need a refresher on what the demons look like with tails and pointed ears look at the link. This takes place between the time Akaza and Douma were released and when they eventually found their way back.

https://www.tumblr.com/flanelltees/694082545792450560/i-forgot-i-didnt-post-this-cuz-i-think-i-didnt?source=share

Demon Designs by @flanelltees

Kny Breeding Program Au originally is by @melon-cream-enmu

Warnings for Y/n getting a small cut on her hand and some blood mentioned.)

The squeaking sounds of the cart sounded out between the sounds of squeaky rubber boots and the rattling of objects inside the cart as the janitor pushed the cart of cleaning supplies down the halls towards their destination. Every so often a person in a lab coat or security uniform would pass the person in the full rubber hazmat suit and mask and ignore them or wave or give a friendly nod. If they were nice and greeted them then they'd greet them back.

"Mornin'," a security guard on patrol greeted briefly as they passed by each other.

"What's up?," their muffled voice greeted back with a nod as they passed without another word. 

The rattling cart still made their way down the facility to a specific hallway that was in need of cleaning, or more specifically the rooms connected to that specific hallway. The one that was currently being  evacuated except for only a select few staff. You being one of those staff members as you pushed your cart on over to the entrance way to the hall and paused by the familiar white haired man having his arms crossed and a stern expression on his face. 

"Hi, Sanemi," you greeted muffled by the mask you wore. "How'd the extraction go?" 

Said head of security rolled his eyes with a grunt. "Typical. It took like ten tranquilizers to put that dam thing out before we could get it out."

That's right. You heard that they were removing the demon they called 'Drums' because of all the drums somehow lodged into his body. He had been found in an abandoned mansion and it took five recovery teams to bring him in to study, not because he's dangerous but because he was able to move around his environment. He was absolutely large but his nature was surprisingly gentle and he liked playing his music for the scientists who interacted with him and showing off things he wrote when provided with paper..but it was in a demon language no one understood. He's been here for a few months and the director wanted him released to make way for newer demons to study. 

That's why you were here. You were going to clean up his old cell before the new demon was placed inside it. Honestly you weren't sure you wanted to be back here after the incident with Akaza and Douma three weeks ago...but you were tired of cleaning bathrooms and unclogging toilets.

"Well at least he'll be happy to finally be going home. I'm just gonna go in and clean up his cell."

"Sure. Knock yourself out."

You wheeled on by him and into the familiar hall. Very few people were there, only three. You and two other people in Lab coats. Scientist or researchers you weren't sure but you recognized one immediately by the firey red hair. His head turned seeming to already recognize the squeak of your cart and immediately beamed.

"Y/N, MY LOVE!!", Kyojuro shouted loudly making his partner jump in response as he turned to you arms out in greeting. "You're finally back!"

Slowing down to a stop, you beamed behind your mask at the doctor you were going on a few dates on. "Well I did tell you that I'd be switching back after a while. The two demons causing me the headache are gone so there's nothing to worry about." 

He hummed, brows scrunching in unsureness but slowly nodded. "I suppose so, but I would highly suggest being careful from now on. We'll have to update our watch on the volunteers more closely from now on to make sure this doesn't happen again."

"I'm sure it won't. Besides it's all fixed now so no harm done." The only evidence of what happened to you was just some notes taken for research purposes and the two scars those demons left on you. A dark stripe on your palm, and a frost like pattern on your forearm but you could always get them medically removed with a skin draft like Kyojuro suggested. You haven't made a choice on that yet though. "I'll just go clean up the cell and finish up. Ok?"

"Of course. If you need anything else just shout."

Smiling you pushed your kart away as he turned back on the demon they seemed to be studying. One that looked like a young child except he was all white and seemed to be playing with some toys left inside. You paid them no more mind as you continued to push your kart to the very, very back of the hall and stopped by the cell with the open doorway. This was the one you had to clean up. Wasting no time, you stopped you cart and reached out to pick the broom out of your cart and go right inside. The cell was like the others, big but at least this one wasn't too dirty. Most of the litter was just crumpled up papers, crushed or shortened pencils, and half eaten food scattered everywhere.

Whelp you knew the drill.

Sweep. Mop. Clean the giant window on both sides.

Exactly what you did. Sweeping everything up before getting out the mop and bucket of water and cleaning up the space. That was fairly fast. It wasn't until you were cleaning up the giant window that you noticed something was a little off. As you sprayed and then wiped the cloth over the thick glass. As you wiped the window you had the unexplainable need to look through the window to the other side and paused. 

There was a demon in plain sight of you. 

Through the window you were cleaning you were able to see the cell on the other side and found yourself staring face to face with another one of them. A demon. But like Akaza, Douma, or any other demon you'd seen in the time you've been working here, he looked completely different. I

Intimidating. At least six inches taller than Douma and extremely built by the looks of him, but what you were most stunned about was the SIX eyes staring down at you. Reddish scelera in a similar way to Akaza's was broken into pieces by veins with golden eyes. You both continued to silently stare at one another before you just went back to cleaning the window. Pay no attention to it. That's what got you in that mess in the first place. You ignored the creature as you cleaned the window and then moved to clean the outside. But you still felt it's gaze the entire time. By the time you turned back around, you were surprised to still be staring at this creature. 

The demon said or did nothing as you both stood there awkwardly as you slowly moved to your cart, and realized something. While you had moved, it's eyes didn't follow you. In fact his gaze didn't follow you at all, all six eyes staring straight down at the floor. It was then you realized that he hadn't been staring at you at all. Curious, f/c eyes looked down through the protective goggles you wore to the floor only to see what this thing was staring at. On the floor was from crinkled papers that must've fallen out of your art when you cleaned up the cell. On it was some language you couldn't understand but it seemed that this demon was staring at the words.

Was it..reading them?

"....Do you like reading those?" It made no move to look at you even as you slowly reached up to remove your mask and hold falling to your shoulders. "You like to read?"

Finally it moved..Sorta. One of his eyes moved. The top left one moved to turn to you and stared. You still stared at him before slowly walking around your cart and slowly pick up the papers. Now you had it's full attention as all eyes moved to you as you picked them up and looked the writing over carefully before turning up to him. Smiling before walking up to the window and holding them up. 

"Here. Is that better?"

It offered no response still looking you over before going back to the papers. The eyes going half lidded and calm as he stared at the two papers you held. You guessed that was a yes as he continued to stare at them..Or you assumed that it was a he. You couldn't be too sure with demons.

"Y/n?" Said woman's head turned to Kyojuro as he approached you quickly in question. "What are you doing? Are you done?" The footsteps stopped up on seeing the six foot something demon standing calmly at the window eyes going wide. "What on earth is going on?!"

"Oh. It's ok." You held up the papers. "He just wanted to read these. I was holding them up so he could see-" you stopped when you turned back. 

The demon was gone from the window. Instead he was now in the center of the room in the process of sitting down on a tatami mat back turned to you both. He was calm when he sat down allowing you to see his pointy ears, and a long tail swishing behind him. In a similar fashion to Douma, it was long with a tuft of hair at the end that matched his hair he wore in a long ponytail. Neither of you said anything as Kyojuro came to stand next to you in astonishment looking inside the cell before turning to you wide eyed.

"How were you able to make contact with Six?"

You turned back to him. "Six?"

"That's what we nicknamed him because of his eyes," he explained. "But he's never done that before."

"Really?" He shook his head swaying orange locks. "How long has he been here?" 

"We brought him in about three months before your incident." His eyes calmly flicker back to the cell and the demon that sat completely still. "He was found deep in the forest not too far from here in a nature reserve, he was living in an abandoned cabin and lived almost completely like a human in the olden days. The director thought it'd be a good opportunity for studying their habits of mimicking human livelihood so we brought him here for study, but he's not done anything but sit there and eat food when we give it too him. Otherwise he completely ignores any interactions with us."

"Maybe he doesn't like humans?"

Kyojuro sighed. "We figured that so we tried putting in another demon in with him for study purposes, but he completely ignored her too. Too bad. She was actually a very well behaved demon so it's not like she'd cause any fights."

"Oh..."

 You looked down at the papers in your hands, raising a brow at the strange writing on it. You had no idea what Drums wrote or what it said because you didn't speak or read the language but perhaps this demon was interested in reading. Maybe Drums wrote something interesting Six liked? You weren't sure but for some reason you were curious.  Didn't matter. You shrugged it off, threw the papers in the cart trashcan, before bidding Kyojuro goodbye and carting off. The job was done anyways.

However it wasn't to last.

Maybe it was because of the last encounters. Maybe it was because of the fact you started to need the extra money again for bills. Or maybe it was just stupidity and curiosity but you needed the money again. Bills were starting to crawl up on you and the money you had saved up from your meet ups were starting to rapidly deplete. So you had two options. Either go back to getting cheap ramen noodles almost every night or go back into the program. ..The answer was obvious but it also came with a problem. After what happened you were pretty sure Kyojuro wouldn't like you volunteering for the M.C.M.A.R.R program again, but it's not like you had a choice. So instead of him you sought out the only other doctor you knew-

"I want to volunteer for the program again. I-.. I-I need the money."

Shinobu stared at you from where she was filing paperwork in a cabinet, that neutral smile still on her face. You'd found her late one night while working and cornered her awkwardly with your request.

She blinked at you still smiling. "Sure. Anyone can volunteer but does Kyojuro know you're doing this?'

"Eeeehhh...Not yet." You confessed looking away and rubbing your neck. "I figured he'd see me once I'm there next Wednesday."

"Kyojuro doesn't work with the M.C.M.A.R.R anymore though. They moved him to the behavioral department on mermaids." Her head tilted. "So you'll be paired up with someone differently this time."

"Oh. That's fine. Let's go sign you up then."

That's how you nervously found yourself nervously standing in the hall again after your shift on Wednesday despite Kyojuro's firm objections to you returning. Shinobu must've told him however you've already made up your mind. You slowly shuffled in looking around nervously clutching the book in your arms at the multiple security guards, scientists, and volunteers walking around talking to demons or taking notes of the entire thing. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. But then again you wouldn't be putting yourself in danger again. It was just until you could pay back your bills.

"Y/n?" You jumped and whirled around behind you coming face to face with a black haired man in a lab coat. "Whoops. Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you." He smiled at you. "I'm Doctor Murata and I'll be your researcher for however long you decide to remain with the program."

A slow sigh escaped you. Calm down. There's nothing to worry about. "Oh. Right. Ni-Nice to meet you."

"Likewise. Are you ready to begin?" You nodded and he looked at his clipboard. "Hm. Let's see. You're going to be interacting with Six today." You blinked. Six? As in the demon you saw a while ago. Murata turned. "Follow me and we'll get to it."

Hesitantly you followed Doctor Murata down the hallway past other researchers and volunteers, and you gazed at a few speaking to the demons. It was pretty harmless but you knew that they had to be more careful from now on. He brought you a the same cell you saw a few weeks ago and peered inside. There he was, Six, sitting down away from the window as usual. His tail curled up at his side in sleep or meditation you weren't sure. 

Doctor Murata smiled looking at you and nodding to the window. "Ok. Go ahead and try to interact. If he doesn't do anything don't feel too bad, he's usually ignoring us anyways but he we still have to try. Recently I was informed he was reported coming to the window and sort of interacting with a janitor but it was brief and he hasn't responded to anyone or anything since."

You stared at him. That janitor was YOU. How did he not know that?...Well you assumed Kyojuro was the one who reported it so he probably kept your name out of it to avoid them asking you to come back to interact with Six. He was a sweet boyfriend. Slowly you looked back to the window and in where Six was silently still sitting. What should you do?..Well guess you should try and get his attention first. Raising your hand, you wrapped it against the extremely thick glass window. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. No movement was made except for his ears flickering a bit before they stilled....but nothing else happened. Well..at least he knew someone was there? You exchanged looks with the doc who was quickly writing something on his clipboard and looked back up to you expectantly. 

You sighed heavily before looking back to the window and balling your fists to bang on the window louder despite him still not moving an inch. "Hello? It's me again." 

You really weren't expecting anything to happen..and to be honest nothing did at first. He still did nothing but sit there leaving you to sigh and look at the doc again who only hummed and wrote something on the clipboard. The demon moved. Head tilting to look over his shoulder and stare at the window..Oh well. On the bright side if you were just interacting with a demon who did nothing but ignore everyone then it'll be easy money- You froze. A chill suddenly running down you spine and you looked back to the windo-

You gasped jumping back as six eyes stared down at you. The doc looked up and also jumped as the towering form of Six stood tall leering at the both of you. Your heart pounded as you stared at him. His calm half lidded eyes staring at you and the doc vigorously writing on the clipboard. Calm down. So he moved. He probably just recognized you and came over out of curiosity. A few inhales and you calmed yourself down enough to awkwardly smile up to him.

"Goodness. You're pretty fast aren't you?" The demon provided no answer as it still looked at you. Guess he wasn't much of a talker. Pushing it aside you slowly held up the book in your hands making him look at it. "I saw you reading the papers earlier. Does that mean you enjoy reading?" No answer. "I brought this and thought maybe you'd like to read more."

He didn't respond to you at first just staring at the book. On the cover was the title 'Ghost Stories And Folklore Takes by E. Gadd' and you picked it out on the bases of.. well this thing was a demon. Maybe you were wrong but you still pushed on, choosing to open the book and held it up for him to read. This was ridiculous. You didn't even know if this thing could read English. But to your absolute SHOCK..Six calmly looked at the first page, before slowly lowering to sit on his knees and started to read the words on the first page.

'Down in the world unknown there laid a kingdom drab and dark. Where darkness and shadows collided and lived in fear and power. One would be mad to even think about stepping in a place like this. Where the dead are gone but still there, the shadows played and roamed and full of terror. A frightful place brace heros dare not venture unless they wish to meet a tragic fate. Yes. This one place was alone ruled by a power hungry spirit, spited by his love in life and now seeks vengeance on any mortal who dared be foolish enough to be beckoned into his awaiting claws.

The creature of vengeance was known as one of promises and dealings. Whether If one were to want something most dear to their heart and was determined and pure, or if their heart was filled with greed, envy, and lust he would grant your reply if you were brave or stupid enough to find him. It was when one day a child from a nearby village heard of this rumor that they were excited to find out if it was true or not. Against their parents and everyone else's wishes and warnings, the small child had snuck out to venture into the forbidden dark woods. The brambles scraped and left cuts on their body, the creatures chased after and threatened to eat them if they didn't turn back now, for darker and more sinister things slept in these woods, but bravely the child went on. On and on on their journey to really see this sinister ghost who granted wishes and promises that the mortal eye would repulse to believe. Until the sinister avenger had been found and the massive shadow beckoned the child closer with a boney rigged hand.

"You have traveled far and withstood the tests my forces forwarded. For that you have earned the right to one miracle granted to you. But a warning you have also earned. Be warned, with a pure and honest heart comes great rewards. With a heart who bleeds nothing but black with greed and jealousy, a foul end you shall meet. Think about the consequences greatly, for the repercussions shall be swift and tight. Think well, dear child."

The small child dared to smile at the creature and simply reply, "I have no need for any treasures or anything of preciousness near me. I solely only wished for to see myself if the avenger of shadows was a true sight. And now that I have seen you for what a true being you are, I will simply be leaving satisfied my wish was fulfilled."'

Six sat there still before those eyes calmly looked back up to you expectantly. Was he waiting for something? F/c eyes looked at the book.. before turning the page and he just simply kept reading. Murata stared at him stunned.

"Remarkable! The demon can read human language! This is a massive breakthrough!!" He furiously scribbled down on the clipboard as you kept holding up the book as Six calmly continued to entertain himself.

'The answer of the child amused the ancient spirit and he chuckled his hollow laugh at the very notion of it all.

"Wise answer to an otherwise difficult mortal choice. For that you shall still be granted a prize for your efforts. Name one and answer wisely."

The small child as said had no need for such items like treasure and fortune, but they knew that the child's hard working mother were in need of some fortune in her life. So with a kind heart, the child looked to the spirit and asked for their miracle. "My mother works oh so hard to take care of me. It would be so nice for her to have just a little more luck on her side. Oh spirit, let me repay her for all her kindness she has shown me."

"Your wish shall be granted. A selfless act is always it's own reward, but be wary of those who wish to use those fortunes to their own will."

The child was permitted a safe leave back to their home and as promised their selfless act of kindness was granted by the spirit of shadows. The child and their mother mysteriously found an old box in their pantry one day that they had never known of before and upon opening it discovered many, many priceless jewels. The likes of which they had never seen before. With this new found fortune, the mother and child were able to gain a plentiful farm with all the necessities they needed to have a plentiful life. Farther down in the years the mother even remarried one of the strongest most handsome men in the small village. But this man was nothing but green with want, and treated the mother and her child terribly.

He was lazy, rude, and had a heart full of greed. Seeping of those who had better and helping him in life. But one fateful day everything changed. For one day he asked the child's mother a question.

"My dear wife. You know I love you dearly, but I must ask you. Where did you receive such wealth and fortune."

"Why, from a old wooden box in the pantry," she replied happily, "And inside the little wooden chest was gems and riches beyond our wildest dreams."

"Yes, yes! But where did it come from?"

"I know not how it got there or where it came from, but my child and I are oh so happy to have received such a delightful fortune. How we may live happily for a long while."

Her husband was displeased with such an answer and once again asked but this time to the child. The child happily told the man his venture into the woods and his encounter with the spirit of shadows, filling the man's heart with more greed. That very night when the family slept, the man snuck out and made his own way into the deep woods of shadows and fears. Brambles cut his clothing, he cursed those who dare chase him and snap at his hinds as he ran, but the greed and lust in his heart was strong. So strong he persisted his heart green with envy. Alas finally he arrived and looking as though some creature had mangled him with their claws. The spirit was beckoning him closer with a bony rigged hand and spoke.

"Oh one who's heart is sewn with greed and plight. You have sought me through danger and fright. Your actions of greed are inexcusable but like many before you have made it through the path of darkness. For that you have earned the right to one miracle, but also a warning. Be warned, with a pure and honest heart comes great rewards. With a heart who bleeds nothing but black with greed and jealousy, a foul end you shall meet. Think about the consequences greatly, for the repercussions shall be swift and tight. Oh one who comes to me with a black heart for his own wishes. I offer this to you so you may choose your wish wisely."'

......Six looked at you again patiently waiting and you again turned the page for him to continue reading.

'The man paid no attention to the wise words of the ghost nor did he think about any real consequences for his actions as he spoke what he oh so desired.

"Give me more riches than any man shall have!! Make my fortune one who will make me a fortunate man!! A bright castle and beautiful jewels is what I seek and most desire!!"

"A answer I foresaw and one your shall have for not heeding my warnings. Oh man of greed and selfishness, you shall indeed have your wish awaiting you home. But do not be surprised when your unfortunate fate you shall unevitably meet. Now be gone creature of greed. My domain is not fit for one of you."

The man left for his home and once his got there his had his miracle in the form of the purest black horse with a magnificent couch of ebony, inside the couch was boxes and jewels of every imagining. The man cared not for his wife or the young child that he had left behind, away in this marvelous new couch he received and off that horrid man went into the night with his shouts of greedy glee and pleasure as his family long forgotten. The mother and child awoken to no greedy ma plaguing their lives and while the mother was quite saddened, she still had the child to watch after. As luck and fortune does benefit those with kind hearts, another man the mother sought and a kinder man she got. With a much kindness to her and her child this man gave to combat the sorrows left behind by the other greedy filled one. One day a message they did receive, about a much bigger estate of land and riches. The greedy man who had once left them behind without a second thought, was now no more as the spirit's warnings he did not need. As fate had decided he would be no more, a swift and tight end he did get. Leaving everything he valued behind of jewels and gold, to no man but a woman he did not care for. His wife and next of kin did receive, fame and fortune for kindness indeed. With kindness in their hearts the family did grow, and with it came all lucky and fortune soon to glow.

For those with kind hearts and bright minds, often find themselves on the favorite end of fate's hands.'

Six continued to sit there patiently before looking at you again to turn the page to the next story. Smiling you gently turned to the next page to Murata's insistence as he gleefully began to not down more notes and excitedly beam to himself about this major breakthrough. You hadn't been there for an hour when you thought it'd be best to call it quits and stand up catching the sitting demon's attention back onto you. 

"I have to go now but I'll bring the book back next Wednesday -," you explained placing a bookmark between the pages and closing the book, "-and then we can finish it. Ok? Then I can bring you more books to read when we're done with this one."

Six said nothing as he stared at you before calmly standing up and leaving. Just like before he just sat down going back to ignoring everyone. Murata was absolutely ecstatic looking between his notes and you.

"This is exactly what we were hoping for! Demon's might be able to read human language!! Will you be coming back next week?!"

You smiled nodding at him. "I sure will. I definitely think this is something I can handle."

Oh how fate had different plans for you.

Kyojuro was VERY concerned about you and looked you over as soon as you two had som time together, sighing in relief once he saw you were ok. Once again trying to talk you out of it but unsuccessful because you decided to go back next week to finish reading the book.  It went like that for the next few weeks. You'd stop by every Wednesday after your shift and join Doctor Murata in sitting down and holding up the book for Six to read. After the third visit, Murata was nice enough to provide a chair for you to sit in as you held up the book and turned the pages.

At the doc's request, you tried talking to him and get a response..but he ignored everything you said in favor of reading. The only time he'd pay you any attention was to look at you indicating he wanted you to turn the page. At least he wasn't going crazy like the other two demons, if anything he was calm. However Murata would want you to start a different task soon.

"Would you be willing to do an in person session with Six today?," he asked you.

You blinked at him as you stood there. Sherlock Holmes book in hand as Six was already sat at the window waiting for you to open the book. "You want me to go on there with him? Are you kidding me?"

Murata shook his head. "No. There's a reason to it."

"And that is?"

"He only interacts with you. We've tried doing some outside tests giving him books and trying to have others read to him but he never interacts with us and he never reads any of the books we place in his cell. For some reason it's only you."

"I-..Look. I'm perfectly fine with sitting with him while he reads but my boyfriend would freak if he knew that I stepped inside with him. Plus ... it's kinda dangerous."

"Not at all! Six's temperament is actually very gentle. He hasn't done anything to any of the researchers who's been in his cell or when we give him food."

"Look. There's absolutely no way I'm going-"

"A thousand dollars bonus will be added to your paycheck each in person visit."

"....."

You flinched as the metal reinforced doors opened up a few inches, creaking loudly, and just enough for you to squeeze in. Hesitating you looked back to Murata whom gave you a thumbs up and big smile before you turned back forward and took an inhale. It's not like last time. You remembered a little fearful of the demon inside. Douma was clingy and crazy and Akaza was aggressive and territorial. Six was absolutely calm and outside of your reading sessions showed absolutely no interest in you otherwise. He didn't even bother to look at you while you on your normal shift cleaning up the cells and halls. Kokushibo was different. 

You pushed your head inside to look around and instantly spotted the demon staring at you from where he still sat down in front of the window. After a moment he stood up and started towards the center of the room. Once he did he continued to stare at you as you shimmied your way in and stopped. Jumping when the door closed with a giant sound. The two of you stood there staring at each other for a long while until you started moving further into the room. Shuffling closer and closer until you see a yard away from him. You both stared at each other before he looked at the book you held.

"Th-This is Sherlock Holmes," you explained to him, "This man goes around solving mysteries and bringing bad people to justice. You'll like it I think,Six."

He said nothing but allowed you to kneel down and opened the book. Like before he didn't say anything but just read the book you held as you nervously sat there until you were able to get out, breathing a sigh of relief as you were finally able to stand on the other side. 

"That was incredible! I think we should continue with the in person sessions from now on and see how it progresses from there!"

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Trust me! With your record of interactions with demons, this ought to be great!"

"That's not reassuring."

So it continued. You started doing in person meetings with Six, making Kyojuro go nuts for a few weeks but there wasn't really anything he could do about it. Six hadn't literally even talked to you and just continued to stare at the books you held. After the fourth in person session you finally relaxed and got used to him. He literally did nothing so it was safe, plus your bank was great!! However Murata decided to be a genius once again and decided to push the demon forward. By presenting you a certain way.

"You want me to do what ?" 

"Where this kimono." He held up a white dress. 

"You're out of your mind! Why would I wear a kimono in there?"

"Because I want to see if his behavior will change if you wear a similar style to him. His clothing originate from traditional Japanese fashion, so perhaps some familiarity will provide more engagement from him."

"So...I just got to wear the dress? You guys are really-"

"You'll get two thousand instead as bonus compensation."

"...."

Six stared at you wide eyed and surprised as you walked in wearing a traditional pretty green kimono with your hair styled up. With a grimace you shot Murata an annoyed look through the window but he only gave you a thumbs up. With a sigh you turned back to Six only to help finding the demon standing up and before you. You stared up at him silently as he stared at you, before slowly he circled you. Walking around you all the way in a circle as you turned your head to follow him..

"Hm."

You jumped again. His him was a deep voice, curious... before he just went to go sit down like nothing happened again. From then on Murata wanted to try proceeding with different kimono dresses he just randomly ordered online some were plain ones while others were more detailed. Each one got a wide eyed but calm look from Six when you visited him, the pink one with long sleeves and cherry blossoms seemed to really please him as he hummed. However you were taken off guard one day when he was staring at the book.. before your hand was snatched up and you gasped loudly as he grabbed your wrist, before turning your palm to face him and saw the rectangle mark Akaza left on you. He was silent as he stared down at it before looked at you again. 

"Oh... That's.. Th-That's a mistake." You managed to pull your hand from him to clutch your fist. "Someone.. Someone marked me without me knowing and..a -and well I don't think I'll be able to get over it."

He said nothing as you clutched your hand but he did go back to looking at the book allowing you peace. However peace with this demon would not last long. You did the usual routine of bringing a book and Murata handing you a dress to get dressed in, this one white with a hood you hadn't really seen before but shrugged and put it on anyways. No big deal on your end. However when you stepped inside where he was already waiting, his expression was very different. 

Six eyes went wide in shock at the dress you wore, smiling at him from under the hood on your head. "Hello, Six. Sorry I'm so late. I had to get ready for our meeting."

He said nothing at first before getting up and then slowly starting to walk over to you. You said nothing at first assuming he wanted to examine the dress again but you weren't prepared for him to reached out a clawed hand to gently grab a strand of your hair, gently running it along his fingers before taking in your visage. Eyes wide open before they softened. 

"Six? What are you doi-"

"Kokushibo."

You froze. Eyes going wide as he took the chance to grab your hand. "Wha-What?"

"My name-" He spoke perfect human raising your hand to his mouth. "-is Kokushibo. My wife."

Your mouth fell open as his lips kissed the back of your hand and a second later the sting of his thumbnail cutting into your palm hit you. You squeaked out in pain pulling your hand from him and clutched your fist. A moment later you opened it and to your horror a cut was on your other palm and on it was the shape of an eye. Your world went still as you just stared at your palm then at him as he smiled at you.

Panic flushed through your veins before to his surprise you turned on your heels and RAN back towards the doorway. Squeezing your way out and back into the hallway in a panic. Murata immediately came up to you with a concerned look until he took saw the cut and blood on your palm. 

"MEDICAL ATTENTION!! WE NEED MEDICAL ATTENTION!!"

Everything after that was a blur. You were whisked away to Obanai to have your hand looked over. Multiple people were questioning you about what happened. Kyojuro showed up. A rare state of absolute fury as you could hear him RAGE at Murata because-

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING?! YOU PROMISED ME YOU WOULDN'T SEND HER IN THERE!! WHY WAS SHE LEFT VULNERABLE LIKE THAT?! AND WHY DID YOU THINK SENDING HER IN A WEDDING DRESS WAS A GOOD IDEA?!"

"I-I didn't think it was a wedding dress!"

"YOU WEREN'T THINKING AT ALL!!"

Wedding dress? Your stomach felt queasy and you couldn't say anything when Kyojuro finally came in to look at you deathly calm and stern. 

"You are NEVER going to volunteer to the program again. I'm going to ask the director to release Six right away, but until then you are NOT going near there again. Do you understand what I'm saying?" You nodded guilty. "Good. Now get changed. I'm taking you home tonight."

You made no objections to him and was honestly tired so you allowed him to take you home and didn't mind him talking to the director about releasing Six... Kokushibo?? Whoever he was. You decided that demon from now on were NOT for you. You'd much rather clean up the aquariums where the mermaids were kept instead.

You stayed FAR AWAY from the demon wing from now on back on bathroom duty(which you hated) but you were at least happy when two weeks later Kyojuro confirmed that Kokushibo/Six was taken away to be released. He made you PROMISE him no more demons as they seemed to be attracted to you. You were happy to agree and settled down as the days went flying by.

However you didn't know the bigger problem awaiting at home just for you.

You were called in to double shift for a few coworkers a couple times that week so you were pretty exhausted from it all. You stopped by the grocery store on the way home and just barely was able to balance three paper bags in your arms and unlock the door, not noticing the window busted open. Pushing it in and then closing it behind you. Tired eyes just passing by the living room and crossing into the kitchen.

You passed by a man sitting on your comfortable fluffy rug and reading a book from your shelf. Clink- A small teacup clinked as he gently took a sip before he gently placed it back down and started reading the next page as if the woman didn't walk past him.

"Good evening, Dear."

"Hi." Your tired brain automatically responded without a thought as you placed the bags on the table.

"What are you cooking for dinner?"

"Tonkatsu and rice balls." Again you responded automatically just tiredly reaching into bags and setting things up on the table.

"Ah. A simple but delicious dish."

"Uh huh."

You passed by the doorway towards the stove with a package of uncooked rice. Step. Step. Ste-....Tired eyes suddenly blinked open wide nearly bugging out of her skull...Feet slowly turned around and walked back towards the doorway. Step. Step. Step. Half her body leaned back out of the doorway...Thud. A bag of rice fell from her hands and fell to the floor with a loud thud seeing the figure of a VERY tall demon sitting on the floor of her living room in a meditative state, one hand holding a murder mystery novel as the other gently lifted the teacup back to his face which was mostly obscured by long burgundy bangs. A long tail flicking every now and then.

You still stared at him before he calmly turned to stare six eyes at the rice bag. "You dropped our dinner."

"W-What are you doing in my house?!"

"Spouses do tend to share a home." He simply turned back to his book. "Finish dinner and then we'll discuss the arrangements further."

"Further arrangements?!"

"Yes. I've noticed that you have a spare bedroom that's empty. I'd like to convert that to our children's nursery."

"CHILDREN?!"

"Yes. I've always wanted a large family however I'll be just fine with one as well."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" You held up your hands showing off the marks. "Look..Six-"

"Kokushibo."

You sighed. "Kokushibo. I think there's been a really big misunderstanding between us. We're not...spouses. I was seeing someone WAY before I even met you."

"The demon spouses that abandoned you."

"No! They were misunderstood too! I wasn't flirting with them! Or you! I already have a boyfriend and I'm not interested in you or them or anyone else but my boyfriend. Do you understand?"

"Yes. I just don't care." Your mouth dropped open. "Why don't you cook dinner and we can talk things over then?"

"I just- ..You...UGH!! YOU DEMONS ARE DRIVING ME INSANE!!"

"I find madness attractive," he stated bluntly making you gawk at him. "You still left the rice on the floor."

You didn't know what to do or what to say. It's not like you could just walk up to Kyojuro and be like 'the demon who flirted with me is back and is living in my house believing were husband and wife'. He'd go nuts! You could loose your job! The facility might even decide to study you both as a part of their stupid program. So for now you decided to keep your mouth shut until you could figure something out. 

But unluckily for you things were about to get even MORE complicated.

"I'm leaving for a while," Kokushibo spoke to you one day before you left for work. "I have a few things to settle at my old home before I permanently move in. It'll take a while so expect me to not be back for a while." Then he had the audacity to kiss your lips before leaving. "Do not fret, Moonlight. I'll return as soon as I can."

It was hard to explain to Kyojuro why you were angry blushing all day at work. As if to add more to your bad luck the next two weeks were also filled with double shifts because some of your coworkers got sick suddenly. It was one of those days you had to do a double shift because a coworker called in sick. Stupid chickenpox. You ended up having to clean up the entire research lab by yourself! You didn't even get home that night until around nine! By then the sun at already set and you were exhausted. So exhausted that you just walked up to the door and didn't bother to notice it was busted open until you held up your keys to unlock the door and went to grab the door knob only to freeze as it swung open wide with a creak from you lightly touching it. You froze as your eyes stared at it. Noticing the claw marks on the wood, and the busted lock..And then looking into the darkness and freezing up as two rainbow orbs stared at hou-

"LOVE!!"

You shrieked as something rushed from the darkness and the keys fel from your hands as you were snatched up into two strong cold arms. You screamed again looking up into the face of-....You paused. And blinked.

"DOUMA?!"

The blonde demon cooed squeezing you more against him earning a growl from the darkness. You snapped back into the dark only to freeze again seeing-

"AKAZA!?"

The pink haired demon GLARED at the blonde one as he stepped out of the doorway before hissing something at the blonde in demon tongue. Douma blinked, looked over, before gaining a sultry look. He cooed at Akaza before puckering his lips and leaning forward- Akaza SQUEALED OUT in a way a woman scared of a mouse would and stumbled back into the house away from Douma who only paused.. before cooing again at Akaza's indignant hiss. You looked between them before reaching up a hand to rub your temples.

"I'm in deep shit."

Then something even WORSE happened. A tall shadow fell upon all three of you causing sll of you to turn to the doorway and standing there in the darkness was the unmistakable figure of Kokushibo. Akaza immediately hissed taking a protective stance and Douma just tilted his head curiously. 

".....What is the meaning of this?"

"Let me rephrase that. I'm in REALLY deep shit."

****

[talesoftheesun]

I refuse to acknowledge anything that happened in this volume. none of this happened. must've just been a heat induced fever dream. nope. no way.

[mellifloss]

how are we doing this fine friday evening

[magentagalaxies]

creation of adam but it's this photo of me handing scott the martini before his buddy cole set in the KITH toronto show

[sga-owns-my-soul]

i need a 6 month vacation from being alive pls

[buttercupshands]

Playing through Red&Yellow 2.0 undertale mod and let's just say

I haven't been this inspired to draw something undertale related *specifically* from Undertale itself in years

Also play it if you haven't and you have undertale on pc, it's extremely worth it

[tackrusso]

hugely sick and tired of my family assuming that i'm always miserable and treating me as such. like maybe if you didn't constantly ask me what was wrong with me i wouldn't be so fucking annoyed all the time

[nobodybetterlookatme]

how are you feeling today? did you make it through unscathed?

Yeah I definitely didn't 😭 I've been hella congested all day and I definitely have a cough, but it's more bc my throat is bugging me than anything. I don't think I technically have a fever, my temp's just slightly elevated from where it normally is. It's fucking miserable bc I can't breathe through my nose and the damn thing fucking hurts, and I'm kinda uncomfortable and a little achy, but other than that I'm mostly just tired and a little hazy and generally just don't feel great, so I'm not dying like my partner was lmao. But yeah, all this to say that I'm fucking pissed at him and I literally feel like a goddamn plague rat 😭😭

[running-in-the-dark]

hey, wait! February is over! that means half the time I have to spend at my in-laws is also over!! I can't wait 🙃

[sealeneee]

siiiiiiigh

[vile-wizard]

I need to clean my room now. It is dire.

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

HA I'm 100% not making this camp nanowrimo goal