#and the thing is i want to romance shadowheart!!!

[cheerysmores]

My wife once told me she would never play Baldur's Gate 3 because 'it's that slut game.' One year later she finally caved and did her very first playthrough.

May I present: Mrs. Cheery's chaotic gremlin adventure to Baldur's Gate.

Act 1

Our hero is the drow fighter, Lady Coolio. To this day we do not know whether Lady is her name or her title. She has a big sword, big tits and one goal: get to The Baldur's Gate with no distractions.

Escaped the 'Meat Bus' (Nautaloid). "Right how close am I to Baldur's gate? Like three hours?"

Sold her camp clothes by accident and was very sad that all she had to run around in was a grey hobo sack. (No mods. Sorry wife)

Asked if Withers was Solas's Dad.

Lady Coolio calls Astarion rat boy. In Wifey's words “he told me ‘when I was a little lad Cazador made me eat rats.’”

To be fair she isn't great with names so Halsin = Hoisin Sauce, Lae'zel = onion lady, Volo = Volvo, Cazador = Calzone (sometimes)

In camp: Gale "I'd like to show you something rather magical". Lady Coolio: "I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR MAGIC PENIS"

“There are so many dead bodies everywhere this entire place has got to stink” (just act 1 generally)

Act 2

Ran into the shadow cursed lands very under levelled and Last Light inn instantly got sacked. Bad news as she was romancing Karlach and now can’t get her second upgrade. Lady Coolio firmly blames Isobel for "triggering like three opportunity attacks when she could have... not done that."

Died to the shadow curse a LOT. Her: “Why is everyone dying????” Me: “Remember the moon lantern?” Her: “The what?” Me: “… that thing with the swearing pixie in it” Her: “ I still have to use that????” Me: “ yes, because Isobel is dead” Her: "WHY IS SHE STILL CAUSING PROBLEMS."

Hates the Gauntlet of Shar. Asked Shadowheart, “Is Shar the only goddess with an Olympic qualifier to join her religion?”

And now a series of comments on the Dead 3's chosen: “so the bad guys are evil undead Santa, Lady Gaga and the ugliest man I’ve ever seen?”)” “Is Gale… horny for that crown??” “Maybe Myrkul would be more threatening if he wasn’t standing in an giant toilet and not moving”

On discovering the Emperor) “wait my fairy god mother is a SQUID??? oh :( ”

She did however become half illithid but hated that she ended up with varicose veins on her boobs.

Gale and Astarion then graduated to “those weak pudding men” because they kept getting stuck halfway across the map by missing jumps. Act 3

Said “Brexit means Brexit” every time she met someone who was complaining about the refugees.

Went to see Raphael at Sharess's Caress. Didn’t sign his contract “ I trust neither Lord Farquad nor squid man but I’m not selling my soul to someone who has such bad vibes.”

At Gortash's coronation. "I thought he was popular? Like seven people turned up to watch it. Is it because he's really ugly and smells like Lynx (Axe) body spray?"

She wanted to eat Orin's outfit because it looks like delicious bacon.

Walking around the city: "so where do I go??" "Anywhere you like." "I hate this."

She would not stop stealing things. I think she murdered the entire battalion of flaming fist in the lower city because "a lady's gotta eat." She also killed everyone in sorcerer’s sundries including Rolan.

Had the prototypical stress aneurysm while doing the iron throne but somehow managed to get ALL the hostages out.

Lae’zel was kidnapped by Orin for 9 in game days . When I asked about this she said “FINDING CLOWN MEAT IS MORE IMPORTANT.”

“Why does every door here lead to the sewer????? And why are there so many live mines in the sewer??”

(in the basement of the elfsong) “soo because the Emperor has a shitty basement I’m supposed to be best friend with him now? This soup recipe does not make me trust you squid man”

Halsin “nature used all its powers when crafting you” Wife “well it also crafted bacon lady (Orin) so swings and roundabouts”

Astarion stayed a spawn and she convinced Gale not to use the crown. “No one is becoming ultimate bitch on my watch”

Despite her distrust of the Emperor she still allied with him in the final fight. Because, and I quote, "Lady Coolio's goal is to stop the Absolute. The Emperor has the same goal. I don't know when I became everyone's therapist and in charge of them making better choices but I'm putting my foot down at replacing dehydrated onion queen with baldy prince king over here. The Gith's religion is not my problem."

In her canon Lady Coolio and the Emperor high fived when they won.

85 hours later and Lady Coolio is the hero of Baldur's Gate. Please enjoy this picture of our heroine.

[super-rangers]

I keep having to remind myself that I'm romancing Shadowheart for my second playthrough bc every time Lae'zel opens her mouth I just 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

[optiwashere]

Huh, I didn't even realize it'd been a year since BG3 came out until I opened tumblr this morning. Kinda wild. I didn't think much of the game's release: I like Larian's games, and I like the BG series. I wasn't ever going to skip the game, but I didn't think I'd play it at launch because I was busy working on a novel in 2023 and not doing well financially.

Thankfully, circumstances left me with a little bit of extra money last year just before launch and it meant I could spend on a video game. I needed a pick-me-up after said 2023 novel failed to go anywhere, and BG3 was right there. Like most CRPGs, I played it in basically every moment of free time that I had and did as much as I possibly could in one playthrough.

It's so odd how these small happenstances can snowball into coming back to fandom, finding some friends I might've never met otherwise, and writing a lot of fanfiction along the way. I'll probably have something more interesting to say/share when it's the 14th, AKA when I sat down and wrote my first fic for this fandom.

Anyways, it's been a lot of fun and I'm looking forward to more years to come 💜

[maleficore]

I really think the "Maybe what you really need is a friend, not a lover" line should not be the end of Astarion's romance arc. Let my man figure his shit out! He literally says "I don't know what I want", why is that option a brake up thing and not a trigger for an alt act 3 romance scene? Something with the vibe of "I know we've talked about this and your friendship means a lot to me, but I've decided what I want and it's for us to be more than that". Please...

[faithchel]

𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐎𝐈𝐑 ❧ [eight/∞]

+ shadowheart

[triplegoddess3]

Im at the tiefling party in bg3 right?

Astarian, shadowheart, and lae'zel want me. And i want all 3. Who do i choose?!?!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?

Im very crossed. I've been replaying the romance scenes over and over and over and over, but i can not decide.

Astarian is sexy, but i feel bad about the sex with him, and everything he says feels fake, but i love it so much.

Shadowheart is a little bitch, but the idea of a poly with her and daddy halsin is hmmm.perfection.

Lae'zel, i dont mind her firey nature, and i like how focused she is, and shes full of herself like shadowheart, but doesnt feel as bitchy you know?

Im also sad that the only one who has a scene with my durge is lae'zel. Astarian is like fades to black before anything happens, shadowheart is a kiss.

[waffelteufel]

My Dark Urge drow, who is an absolute maniac, looking at Minthara: I can fix her

Minthara, who is also an absolute maniac, 5 minutes later over their peaceful sleeping form:

[lathrine]

im 60 hours into BG3 and just now starting Act II, please enjoy this collection of my favorite companion chatter (+ lae'zel ripping on mammals)

[helpimstuckinafandom]

Me starting another bg3 run where I will make virtually all the same decisions in mostly the same order as if there isn't different branching paths

[swordmaid]

why is this dialogue in astarion’s sex scene im crying

[deer-watcher]

The inherent romance of the Guidance cantrip.......

[waterdeepthroat]

it really is hell trying to figure out which companions are monogamous so i can plan my next playthroughs

[the-weeping-dawn]

*just casually places this here since I don't get this night conversation cluster with Wyll and remembered most of his doubt speach, not the specific phrasing there hehe*

[destinydraws]

cult girlies 🙏 ✨

[quinn-of-aebradore]

Downloaded some CC mods and naturally had to create a new Tav. Introducing Ari Ashbloom, a monk of noble heritage who's very confused about everything going on but she gets to punch people and the wizard and cleric are cute so she's making do.

And her guardian, taking the appearance of her older sister Lillia, a cleric of Lathander. This will definitely not make certain things were and complicated for her later on. Not at all.

[marblerose-rue]

ummmm ummmmmm.... how many people would be interested in me warrior cat'ing baldurs gate three characters