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vvivacious101 · 3 years ago

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Eternals - Ikaris & Sersi

It’s 3:28 AM on Wednesday morning and I have tried to get my mind to stop obsessing but I’m shit out of luck, so my obsession needs to get processed ASAP.

I watched the Eternals yesterday night. I started at around 10:30 PM and I was like it’s going be 1:00 AM by the time it ends and then I can sleep but who would have known that I would love it so so much that it would literally keep me up at night.

Eternals is amazing and I can’t figure out why nobody seems to be talking about it.

My mind is full of thoughts and I hardly know where to begin. I was really excited for the movie when the trailer came out. The trailer was so good and I was incredibly ecstatic to actually watch the movie but circumstances made it so that I couldn’t watch the movie in theatres and it was not from a lack of trying. But, I remember that ever since the movie’s release, its reception had been really low-key, nobody was talking about the movie and the murmurs I could make out were not complimentary so my interest in watching the movie took a swan dive. I explicitly remember checking when Eternals would be available for streaming because I really wanted to watch the movie despite everything. But eventually even when the movie came out I didn’t bother watching it and it has been sitting on the back burner for a long time but 12th April was the day.

I watched the movie and it was incredibly good, I literally can’t fathom it. It’s amazing and people should literally be shouting from the rooftops about how good it is.

I love this movie. I would rate it 5 out of 5 stars like it’s that good and I can’t believe that more people can’t see that because it’s SO GOOD!!!

If you haven’t watched the Eternals watch it, seriously.

There are so many things I love about the movie but first off, I want to tackle Ikaris and Sersi.

That particular ship has a lot of hate coming its way and it’s mostly in service of glorifying Druig & Makkari and Thena & Gilgamesh and I feel that’s a little disingenuous. If you love Druig & Makkari or/and Thena & Gilgamesh I’m right there with you but you don’t need to bring your preferred ship up by pulling another down. Anyhow, there are things to be said about every aspect of the story, the characters and their relationships and I’m going to do just that.

But first off, Ikaris and Sersi, their story is genuinely haunting me, it’s tragic and I for one don’t want this to be the end of it.

Richard Madden as Ikaris is phenomenal, I generally don’t learn actors’ names but I made it a point to learn his because he is just that amazing in this movie, he’s fantastic and it’s perfect.

What really made this movie different from the very start was that the main character of the movie was Sersi, that literally caught me off guard from the get go and that should have been an indication that nothing was going to be as expected. Sersi is not the leader of the Eternals, that’s Ajax and she isn’t a man. It literally felt weird for her to be the main character of the movie because it was that alien of a concept for me. Without even realising I had somehow internalised the algorithm these movies follow and when this movie bucked that expectation from the first scene itself, it felt like a whole new frontier had been discovered.

The fact that Sersi is played by Gemma Chan made the whole concept that much more unique. Frankly, the entire cast of the movie is so diverse, it’s refreshing and they are all treated with such respect. It’s like the best thing on Earth.

So, I don’t know about everybody else but when Sersi says, “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” while looking at Earth while Ikaris is just staring at her face, it implies that he thinks she’s beautiful and that is literally Hollywood 101 for incoming ship like how did people not pick up on that. Hollywood has me trained so well that I can see heterosexual ships from a mile away and still somehow not pick up on the same signals when the exact same thing happens between two people presenting as the same gender.

I knew from that point on that Ikaris and Sersi were going to be a thing but I for the life of me could not have imagined what I was in for. Even thinking about what the movie did with these two characters feels like torture to me. Ikaris loves Sersi and he is really awkward about it and it’s cute and the entire movie revolves around the fact that Ikaris loves Sersi. It’s not so easy to tell if Sersi loves Ikaris I feel like those moments in the movie are a lot subtler but frankly it’s easy once you know where to look. Sersi as the movie starts in present day is in a relationship with Dane Whitman, a relationship that is serious enough that he wants her to move in, so that immediately has a fogging effect on her feelings for Ikaris, if she’s moved on then the relationship wasn’t all that deep was it? Well, you would be wrong.

BTW Ikaris gets kickass entrances he is the only one to get them as far as I remember and it’s amazing both the times it happens but especially the one in London, that was so cheesy but I totally loved it, it actually says a lot that both these heroic entrances happen in the beginning of the movie and not the end where they would traditionally be. Again, foreshadowing that I missed.

So, Ikaris comes in and Sersi and Dane talk about Sersi and Ikaris’ relationship there are three sentient points in that conversation, one they have been together for 5000 years, but one day an unspecified amount of time ago he left her for reasons unknown and she waited for him for years but when he didn’t return she moved on. The most striking part of this conversation was that how do you move on from a relationship of 5000 years and frankly speaking can you?

Now before I go further into Ikaris and Sersi’s relationship I would like to point out that according to Hollywood logic Sersi and Dane are endgame and this movie sets up their relationship as that, Dane definitely has a bigger role to play in this saga and this movie is focused on building up their relationship, of course plans change, sometimes things don’t work out and sometimes things are meant to be set up for dramatic reveals but the way this movie treated their relationship, that’s the way Dane and Sersi are headed. Now, since I haven’t read the comics I truly don’t have any insider info but the way this movie is structured that’s the reading I’m getting. But, this is definitely one thing I am not looking forward to.

Back to Ikaris and Sersi, so even if Sersi has moved on its frankly impossible to imagine that she isn’t feeling things when Ikaris drops back into her life playing the role of her hero no less. Like really it’s amazing how centred these two characters are because despite everything they hold it together amazing well when faced with each other especially Sersi because at least Ikaris chose to see her but she has to deal with the unexpectedness of his arrival on top of everything else.

Again, there are two concrete things that show that Sersi also loves Ikaris (frankly I don’t know how anyone manages a 5000y old relationship when they aren’t in love but even if you believe that that was the case, the movie is telling you otherwise). One, of the things is a parallel, when Ikaris confesses his love for Sersi he puts his hand on top of hers interlacing their fingers and tells her, I’m yours if you’ll have me. This scene is repeated later in the movie but with Sersi putting her hand on top of Ikaris’ and interlacing their fingers. The scene cuts at the shot of their hands and it’s a lovely scene frankly, the callback gives me chills just thinking about it, but again logic would suggest that her mirroring the scene implies that she also holds the same intention that he did. In other words, she’s saying I’m yours if you’ll have me.

The second thing that was actually not that clear to me but has become more and more prominent, as I re-watched the movie to look for it, was the necklace Sersi is wearing in the above scene. Sersi gives Ikaris a stone she modifies to match his eyes. She is wearing that very same stone in a chain around her neck, again forgetting my more meta thoughts she is literally wearing a stone around her neck that matches the colour of his eyes like literally is there any other reason to wear it but to look at it and try to imagine looking into his eyes. And frankly speaking even if that’s not what’s happening there is no way that stone doesn’t remind her of his confession, their first kiss and everything and she is wearing that in a chain around her neck. Now, for the kicker I only noticed the necklace in the above-mentioned scene but going back, I realised that Sersi is wearing the necklace for almost all of her present-day scenes, which begs the question since when has she been wearing the necklace. Well, the answer to that question is, she has been wearing it since the very beginning of the movie.

Now, for the clincher, when did she get the necklace, well... it’s literally a symbol of their marriage. This isn’t very clearly shown because we don’t actually see Ikaris give Sersi the necklace but after their wedding the scene is cut in such a way that in one frame she is just wearing the garland and in the next she is wearing her garland and a green necklace, which means that he gave her the necklace on their wedding and she has worn it ever since, literally the last flashback with them in Tenochitlan in 1521 AD has her wearing the necklace now on its gold string which is how we have seen her wearing it since the beginning of the movie.

They literally had a Hindu wedding and he giving her a necklace immediately had my mind screaming mangalsutra but since mangalsutras weren’t actually around in 400 AD I don’t think I should get too carried away, but then again neither was kissing after a wedding.

There is actually a gif and I have also seen it in certain fanvids where you can see Ikaris actually affix the necklace which can be seen prominently.

[EDIT: Okay, this scene is actually in the movie and I found it, so here you go.]

This brings me to another point what exactly is their relationship in present time. I was looking up the Ikaris entry on the MCU fandom wiki and it has Sersi mentioned as his ex-wife but all evidence points to the contrary she isn’t his ex-wife she is his wife, they are literally not only married but she has physically worn the proof of her marriage since. Frankly, not only has she really not moved on but maybe in some way she actually considers herself married to Ikaris even now. Like, WOW!!

At some unspecified time in history, Ajax confides in Ikaris about their true purpose and it breaks him, he literally can’t hide this from Sersi but he literally can’t break her heart when she learns that the people she has loved and helped along for so long are nothing but a means to an end. So, he leaves her and doesn’t come back till the world is ending, like he literally only comes back to spend his last day on Earth with her but then things go awry, Sersi gets selected as their next leader and learns their true purpose and she immediately wants to thwart that purpose from reaching its fulfilment and when it feels like the Eternals might just have a concrete possibility of stopping the birth of a celestial, Ikaris derails all their plans. His faith in Arishem and their true purpose is unshakeable and he will not let his sacrifice be in vain and he threatens to kill them all if they stand in his way but in the end words are just words.

It kind of says a lot that he kills Ajax, and beats up Druig, Makkari, Thena and Phastos and is actually ready to do the same to Sersi but when push comes to shove he finds himself helpless. That scene when she is just looking at him and his eyes glow and then fade off and then glow and fade away again that ends in him crying like literally broke me. His love for Sersi has been his driving force ever since he woke up on the Domo and in the end the purpose he put before that love couldn’t hold up to it.

This was the big villain fight, Ikaris vs Sersi and it was over before it began and it still held every bit of the impact a big action scene would have had.

Someone pointed out that Ikaris’ behaviour could be explained by toxic masculinity and I tend to agree. He tries to protect Sersi from the truth instead of giving her the opportunity to do so for herself. He puts himself in the position of her protector and makes the choice for her.

But, I also feel that this reading to some extent negates his own reaction to learning the truth. The whole Sersi loves humanity aspect is certainly true but frankly speaking the one person who has been protecting human lives ever since he got of his ship has been Ikaris, he is literally the first person who launches an attack on a Deviant to save a boy and he’s been doing that for atleast 2000y before he and Sersi even start their relationship. I don’t think we consider how traumatic learning the truth was for him. I mean learning you are not alive but instead a robot made to ensure planets grow and harbour intelligent life that can feed the Celestial nesting instead their planet is bound to be a shock and unlike everyone else when they learn the truth he literally can’t do anything to avert this from happening, except doing what the Deviants had been doing all along which I don’t think anyone would be in favour of. It stands to reason that he wasn’t thinking straight and atleast his initial actions were probably more emotional that logical or even all that well thought off. Maybe he actually didn’t leave Sersi with the intent of never coming back but later realised that would be the best thing to do, it’s hard to say but I feel like we can definitely see that this was not easy information for him to digest. Another thing that’s relevant is that since he has known the truth for quite a while he has had time to make his world view align with Arishem’s, it’s not unthinkable that the others might actually come to the same conclusion had they learnt the truth so early. I feel like the immediacy of the situation probably influenced the actions of the other Eternals more, also had they known the truth would they have really let themselves get so close to humanity to be able to drop everything to save it in the hour of need. The fact is that Ikaris not telling them the truth is probably the reason they banded together to save it which is an insane quandary but it’s true. Instead of having Sersi spent the rest of her life coming to terms with the ends of humanity he gives her the opportunity to love it more and more fiercely which probably saved humanity, so in a weird way his leaving is the reason the rest of the Eternals save the planet.

Wow, this is so long, it’s embarrassing but Ikaris seems to have taken permanent residence in my brain. It’s also so sad to see him die the way he did, who would have thought that the boy who flew too close to the Sun would end up being foreshadowing.

With everything that has happened in this movie Sersi and Ikaris need more closure, like literally this can’t be the end and frankly speaking it would be such a waste to not have Richard Madden reprise his role as Ikaris because he is bloody fantastic in it.

So, I have managed approximately 3000 words on this subject and that’s without touching the other 8 characters and their relationships and story line. I think this might have to be a series because I am not nearly done with screaming about this movie yet.

#eternals #ikaris #sersi #ikaris x sersi #myposts #ikersi

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come-on-shitty-boys · 4 years ago

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Characters: Oikawa Tooru/Sakusa Kiyoomi/Miya Osamu

Request: Hi! Do you think you can make headcanons for Oikawa, Sakusa and osamu, with an s/o thats a medical student? 🙏🏻😳

Warnings: swearing

Word Count: 1.9K (~600 a piece)

Notes: I’m v v v sorry for the recent lack of updates! I’m moving back to uni on Tuesday and I didn’t plan accordingly and get fics lined up >.<

Oikawa Tooru

The most supportive bean oml he’s so cute

It’s definitely not easy considering he’s in Argentina, but he does his best to check up on you whenever he can. You have a tendency to over-work yourself while studying, so someone needs to remind you to take a break and get some rest dumbass literally doesn’t take his own advice smh

You should hear him when he’s talking to his team about you. “Oh, you mean Y/N? My DOCTOR s/o? Yeah, that’s right. I’m dating a doctor.” You aren’t even a doctor yet, but he’s going to tell everyone he knows that his s/o is a ✨doctor✨

He can’t really help you study because of the distance, but if you ever need to vent to him about classes or your residency, boy is there. He is listening intently while you spill all the tea! Oikawa likes the drama, what can he say? It’s like his personal soap opera.

Oikawa takes so many screenshots while you video chat. You’re probably going over notes or working on homework and he’s just collecting all the photos.

He’s going to post them on his instagram later, captioning it with something like, “yeah, your s/o may be great, but are they a doctor? lol didn’t think so 😜” and you’ll have to comment “Tooru, I’m not a doctor yet.”

But, Tooru literally does not care. He can’t get over the fact that you’re so?? Smart?? You could be telling him about something you learned in class that day and he’ll be nodding along, like he knows exactly what you’re talking about, but to be honest?

He doesn’t know what the hell you’re talking about. You keep using these big words and he’s just “?????”

Oh, but he learns, because he’s a good boyfriend for sure. He has sticky notes all over his apartment with random medical words that he’s heard you say. It’s low-key just to impress you, but also Oikawa really does care about what you’re talking about and he wants to be able to follow the conversation better.

Boy learns his new vocabulary words in Japanese and Spanish to further impress you and because he knows that you find it really hot when he speaks Spanish.

Brb cackling at the idea of oikawa just spewing a random Spanish diagnosis in your ear during sex because he can’t remember how to say what he wants to tell you

Everytime you reach a milestone in your med school career? He’s bragging so much. You’d think that he was the one who made the dean’s list or that he was the one who finished the classroom section and was moving onto their residency.

He’s honestly just so proud of you and wants to show you off, because you’re just so driven and passionate about everything you do. It’s a big reason why he fell in love with you in the first place.

Peep him cheering the loudest when you finally complete your residency. Stand right there. He wants to take pictures of his s/o looking fine as hell in their white coat with their MD, so he can brag to everyone he meets that his s/o is officially a doctor

The proud smile on his face when you’ve finally done it? Irreplaceable. He’s been your biggest supporter through this whole thing. To him, watching you do this is as amazing as doing it himself.

He’s going to frame your degree and hang it up right by the door of the apartment when you two move in together. Just a gentle reminder that he’s dating a doctor, no big deal.

You could try to tell him that you’re proud of him for following his dreams and making it to the big leagues and he’s just, “yeah, but who graduated medical school 🤗”

AWWW WAIT

If you open up your own practice one day ;-; this baby is just beaming with pride, taking all the pictures and all of the videos as you cut the ribbon to announce the opening

Marry him. Marry him or I will.

Sakusa Kiyoomi

You probably complained once about the workload, saying that it was so much harder than you ever anticipated, and this son of a bitch would just scoff like, “It can’t be that difficult.”

But, it’s that difficult and you let him figure that out. You handed him a stack of your assignments and said, “If it’s so easy, you do it.”

Insert Sakusa Kiyoomi hunched over the table for three hours, just staring at the page, occasionally flipping through your textbook and medical dictionary as if either of those things would help him.

He literally handed you back a blank paper and didn’t say a word.

Honestly, he has no idea how to help you study, but he’ll try his best. If you hand him a study guide or a stack of flash cards, he’ll sit on the couch with you and quiz you until you know each and every one better than you know yourself.

He’s not exactly going out of his way to learn about medicine so that he can better converse with you, but he does pick up on a few things

Kiyoomi’s gotten pretty good at breaking down the medical terms from long hours of helping you study. He has a decent understanding of what some of the roots and suffixes mean, so when you start talking about something from school, he can usually at least pin down some of the information

Sakusa is going to use your career path to his advantage though. He wants to know what disinfectants they're using at the hospital and can you get him some?

He’s already pretty private about his personal life, especially when it comes to his relationship with you, so outside of his small friend group, he hasn’t told many people that you’re a med student.

This doesn’t make him any less proud though. He’s just more quiet about it. But, he’ll celebrate all of the little accomplishments right there with you, texting you right before you take a big test to wish you luck and taking you out for ice cream or a nice dinner when you get your results

If he gets a long break at practice, he’ll go take you lunch, just so he knows that you’re taking care of yourself properly.

MASK SELFIES

You stay up really late trying to memorize the proper treatments and where to make incisions and things like that, so if Kiyoomi doesn’t ask you to come to bed, it’s very possible that you just won’t? And he’s learned that the hard way.

Right before your finals you told him, “Yeah, I’m just going to study for another hour or so and then I’ll head to bed.”

He literally found you asleep at the kitchen table, your notecards all over the floor because you knocked them off at some point in the night

But, Sakusa is a good boyfriend so he’ll make you breakfast and some tea or coffee to help you start your day.

Speaking of coffee and tea. He’s limiting your caffeine intake :) oh, you want a cup of coffee/tea at 9 pm? “That shit better be decaf.” it’s literally just so you can sleep. Once 5 pm hits, he doesn’t let you have caffeine, but it’d be bogus if he sat next to you with a cup of tea, so he also doesn’t have caffeine in the evenings.

He’s definitely the type to show you that he cares more so than actually tell you how much he loves you

Miya Osamu

Superior twin

This is a joke i love both miya boys equally, even if atsumu does have piss hair

N E WAY. Osamu has no fucking clue what you’re talking about 90% of the time and I hate to break it to you, but-

He’s not going to take the time to learn like the others. He may stop you to ask questions, but that’s really it.

It’s not like he doesn’t care though! Osamu really loves that you’re following your passions. He just knows that even if you do explain it to him, he’s probably going to get lost in all of the logistics.

Most of the time, you’ll just see him nodding along with what you’re saying, popping in with a question or a comment every now and then. While he may not understand what you’re saying, he does take some interest in it.

He’ll ask you things about the medical equipment in your bag. Like, how does the blood pressure cuff work? Have you ever given yourself stitches? If he were to cut his hand chopping ingredients, could you fix it right here in the kitchen or would you still take him to the hospital? Can you really hear his heartbeat with those weird headphone things? It’s called a stethoscope ‘samu smh

Osamu is the king of making sure that you take good care of yourself. This man? Oh, he’s packing you a lunch every single day you have to go to class.

Better yet? If you come down to Onigiri Miya between classes, he’s going to pile your plate full of food and then he’s got a to-go container with more, just in case you get hungry. He has your favorite drink stocked so it’s there whenever you come by.

He won’t sit with you, because he’s usually pretty busy, but he will let you sit at the counter so he can talk to you while he prepares more onigiri.

‘Samu always asks how your day went. It’s the first thing out of his mouth whenever he sees you after your classes.

If you guys get done around the same time, he’ll meet you at your university to walk home with you.

He makes sure that you drink plenty of water. He’s like a waiter, I swear. Osamu will walk past you like every 20 minutes just to make sure that you have enough water and if he sees that you haven’t been drinking your water-

Prepare for a lecture on the importance of hydration as if you don’t already know that??

“‘Samu, I’ve had five glasses of water. I’m not thirsty.”

“You need to stay hydrated!”

He’ll try to help you study if you ask, but it usually ends up with you laughing as he tries to pronounce some medical term. He’ll toss the flashcard to the side and just huff, “That’s probably not going to be on the test.”

Like Sakusa, he’s pretty reserved when it comes to talking about his personal life, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have a picture of the two of you on your graduation day hanging up in Onigiri Miya.

He’s not going to say anything about it first though, but if someone asks? He can gush about you for a good ten minutes while his patrons smile and nod. Telling them how proud he is that his incredible s/o graduated from medical school with flying colors, explaining what field you’re in and what that means he’s literally just repeating what you told him once oops

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adler-obsessed · 4 years ago

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Hi! I'm new in the fandom and wanted to ask why everyone seems to be hating Derek Landy? Yes the books are pretty brutal and he's low-key sadistic with the characters, but aren't most book authors? I just finished book 6 and I'm really enjoying them so far. I'm just curious and don't wanna offend anyone.

oh boy buckle up - I just want to first of all say welcome to the fandom!!! Although it may seem a bit negative sometimes, it’s mainly because we love the series and characters so much!

There’s a lot of people who know more about + have details on Landy’s problematic statements/actions so guys/fandom if you could add that onto this post, I’d appreciate it.

A short summary:

problematic representation in books

the disaster of Phase 2

attacking fans (bonus: his gf attacking fans)

problematic relationships with young fans

But I’ve been meaning to do an analysis of why Landy’s representation of queer people and the LGBTQ+ Community has been problematic for a while and I have examples so buckle up everyone:

So, as a brief introduction, there’s several reasons why people aren’t the biggest fan of Landy - one you won’t be aware of for awhile is Phase 2, which starts after Book 9

Phase 2, I think I can say confidently, has not been as well received as Phase 1. Lots of the characters we liked in Phase 1 don’t appear or have lost all their character development from Phase 1. There are so many side plots that are very confusing and most people aren’t particularly interested in them so large parts of each book are quite boring for most of the fandom.

But onto my main argument (edit: in a reblog below, Faceless has linked many of the examples I discuss if you are interested)

Landy has had quite a bumpy ride when it comes to representation: in the Demon Road series (outside of SP) there was a very problematic portrayal of a wlw relationship. He claimed that everyone is eventually bisexual, and then there is a wider issue of representation in the actual Skulduggery books.

Firstly, those characters that are in the LGBTQ+ community tend to have that aspect of their life continuously pointed out/or mentioned (like Landy is trying to show how ‘diverse’ he is) but then have very little character development/or mention of anything other than that.

There is a supposedly major wlw ship in Phase 2, but it is so underdeveloped it feels more like a main character and her cheerleader. In the last book we finally got some development only for them to then break up (although I somewhat liked the realistic reasons behind it, it did disappoint me)

Linking from this, there is a general difference in how Landy treats non-canon queer ships versus straight ones

When asked about the possibility of a non-canon straight ship, he said he didn’t like to dismiss the fan’s ships. In comparison when a fan asked about mlm ship, he immediately said no to it (keep in mind there was no dubious relationship between these two in the books, they are super close so it made no sense for him to completely refuse it)

Landy also likes to point out his queer characters like China and Tanith, who are both canonly bisexual/pansexual (he confirmed to a fan that China and Eliza were a thing) and yet, whenever the two are romantically involved with someone, it’s a man.

Now, before I get people attacking me saying they are still bisexual even though they’re in straight passing relationships, I AM bisexual, I hate it when people invalidate my sexuality just because I am in a relationship w a guy or girl.

But eVERYTIME, these two end up with a guy, and the only time Landy has confirmed they aren’t straight are either in blink and you’ll miss it moments or outside of the books (sort of like Rowling claiming characters were gay on Twitter, and yet these characters were never seen expressing these identities in the books or in later media)

So why is this representation problematic? Because writers like Landy seem to think they’ve actually done a good job - stating once that a character identifies/or has a certain sexual orientation, and then never elaborating on it again, as if that somehow wins him brownie points.

I’m not going to talk to much about Never - for context this is a gender fluid character in Phase Two - because I myself am not gender fluid, so I would not want to speak for that side of the community incorrectly. In my personal opinion, having several genderfluid friends, Never’s characterisation is bloody weird.

For context, in the books, Landy changes the pronouns that Never uses and others use to address him/her practically every sentence. At times it feels less like a portrayal of a genderfluid character, and more like a mockery (one of my aforementioned genderfluid friends stopped reading the series at this point because they found it too close to the mocking insults their grandparents would use e.g. changing pronouns every sentence as if making out that their gender identity was some absurd thing)

Again, rest of the fandom feel free to interject in here, there are definitely people more qualified to speak on this than me.

I also want to talk a little bit about the problematic way Derek handles female members of the LGBTQ+ community in comparison to the male ones. I’ve mentioned above a bit of the problems with China/Tanith but I want to go a bit further into the issue with the male ones: namely, there are barely any.

While the three main female characters are all canonly bisexual, none of the major male ones are (if I’m wrong, please correct me!) and the only one who could possibly be considered major is Anton Shudder and his boyfriend who are confirmed to have been in a relationship, oh wait, when they are both dead. Apart from that, there is not one major male member of the LGBTQ+ community in these books that Landy claims are so diverse.

I think it is also slightly worrying that so many of Landy’s female characters are bisexual, characters who Landy also constantly describes as pretty/gorgeous/attractive etc. because it just feels like that typical thing of men fetishising wlw women (particularly bisexual women) hence why I also think the fact that two of these women never have a relationship with another wlw in the actual books is very problematic, as these sexual orientations feel more for show than actual canon most of the time.

There is a very big problem with the way Landy goes about queer representation in his books, and the worse part? He thinks he’s doing great.

#skulduggery pleasant #Derek Landy critical #apologies for the mammoth essay but I had feelings

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hopevalley · 4 years ago

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Season 8, Episode 1: Open Season

Work was busier than expected on Monday, but the deep dive into the first episode of S8 begins now!

Scene 1: Narration, Elizabeth and Nathan, Lucas

The awkwardness between Elizabeth and Nathan was...palpable at first lol.The best part about the non-narrated part of the scene is twofold: Nathan interacting with Jack is a well-needed and very nice touch, and of course it’s always nice to see that Nathan is patient concerning Elizabeth’s situation and reassures her that she can let him know when she’s ready to go to dinner with him.

My problem with the whole thing is that...if she hasn’t spoken up about wanting that dinner date yet, and she’s not saying yes she’d like to get dinner with you now, it’s like...any sane person would assume at this point in the story that Elizabeth isn’t interested in Nathan. Worse, Nathan isn’t the kind of man who wouldn’t take a hint. I’m pretty sure this is why the opening scene felt just a little bit off. I think they ought to have let Elizabeth be a little more enthusiastic about the idea while still failing to commit to it.

To be fair to the writers, I can’t imagine it was easy for them to figure out how to open this season after such a long time gap. They let a whole winter elapse between last season and this one. How do you explain literally no major development with the love triangle in that amount of time? Especially after the way the last season ended?

Random consideration: the camera focuses on Elizabeth’s face a lot and makes her wedding ring clearly visible.

Boom, the flashback with Lucas. I think having him leave out of jealousy was a better idea than having his mother fall ill (we’ve certainly seen that enough at this point), and maybe we should also consider the fact that while Lucas was gone, Nathan didn’t really jump on the opportunity to woo Elizabeth himself.

I wonder if we’ll get an explanation for that or not. What makes Lucas so sure that after 4+ months, Elizabeth hasn’t started courting Nathan? Maybe he kept in touch with someone in town? Or he just knows Elizabeth well enough to know she wouldn’t feel quite ready to commit in that time frame anyway?

I did really like Lucas’s opening scene with Elizabeth. Honestly, he was quite likable, here: admitting he was wrong, admitting his shortcomings, apologizing. All good things. “I’m ashamed I let my jealousy get the best of me... The worst of me.” That’s such a good line.

It didn’t feel equal in enthusiasm to the Nathan scene, but I’ll have more thoughts on that later. I do believe it was on purpose.

Scene 2: Clara and Jesse’s Fight, The Café

I like the concept of some marital discord for Clara and Jesse. Marriage is easier said than done and like any serious relationship, it’s a lot of consistent maintenance. It starts out pretty well, with Jesse sleeping in the other bedroom. At this point I fully expected to find out Clara kicks in her sleep or she snores a lot or something that’s funny to hear about but really difficult to actually deal with in real life. Color me disappointed later, but I’ll get to it.

Scene 3: The Mercantile, Ned, Florence, Carson

This just set up things with Faith’s situation so there’s not much to say, but as always I do love Florence. I hope she gets some good scenes this season. And I love Ned so I hope the same for him.

Henry coming in to mail a letter was interesting, though. I’m not sure it’ll mean anything in particular later, but...it’s possible. Then again, maybe he’s just here to set our expectations regarding Faith’s return (of course it’s a long trip from Chicago) or Carson’s worry (a bit unreasonable unless he expected to hear from her at a specific stop).

Scene 4: Nathan, Dylan

Dylan is such an incredible scumbag. The spurs were a nice touch. He says things almost fondly (“She’s growing up... My little girl.”) and then wants nothing to actually do with Allie.

The guy’s actually a pretty good actor. The way he segues into being glad for Allie’s sake that Nathan wasn’t the one killed. If the next words out of his mouth weren’t a demand for go-away money you’d almost feel those words were genuine!

Scene 5: Lee and Rosemary’s Return + Faith’s Return + Dylan Part Two

Lots of energy in this scene, both good and bad. I always appreciate what Lee and Rosemary bring to the show. I genuinely just don’t care that much about Faith. I’m ready to ship her with Cowboy Brett Brewer. He gets a name, which makes me wonder if he’s gonna show up again. :3

Lol at Carson’s jelly face:

I MEAN...

Not a fan of Faith’s outfit...but to be fair we’ve never really seen Faith outside of uniform. That just doesn’t strike me as something she would wear to travel in...?

Dylan approaching Jack and Jack speaking to him was so hilarious to me. “A puppy!” It’s extra funny after he looked afraid of Rosemary. Nathan intervening was undoubtedly for the best, but I can’t imagine why he would have approached Elizabeth or Jack. He doesn’t know who they are, or their connection to Nathan. Maybe too convenient. Might have been better to have him approach someone else entirely--like Opal.

Scene 6: Nathan and Allie

It’s great Nathan’s officializing the adoption but he had literal years to do this and only chooses now, when there’s a threat? Legally Dylan doesn’t have a leg to stand on even in that day and age (he did the abandoning in the first place + Nathan is a lawman)... It kind of ruined the cute moment for me, and I think it will come back in a bad way later.

I don’t mind Nathan’s inability to confide in Elizabeth in this situation. At this point, she doesn’t need to know, and the situation is just weird enough that he probably doesn’t think he needs to dump his own problems on her.

Scene 7: Carson and Faith

I’m the jerk who just chanted “BREAK UP BREAK UP BREAK UP” during this scene in my head. I just...don’t care about Faith and Carson.

Scene 8: Bill and The Gals

I hate that they keep retconning Bill’s ability to cook well with every passing season. In season 2 and 3 he was more than satisfactory. In S4 he made dinner for Dottie and it was really nice. Now he’s godawful and doesn’t taste his own shit before letting other people try it? Come on.

This is the kind of stuff the writing team needs to cut out of the story. It’s not funny.

Worse, outspoken Fiona lying to Bill? I just don’t see it. At least Molly told him the truth...but I still am just SO tired of seeing this shit. It makes me think new writers only watched the last couple of seasons instead of all of them.

Also, if Bill is literally running the cafe most of the time, if he was bad at cooking, then...the place would have shut down ages ago. What they should lean into if they wanna do a cooking joke is that Bill isn’t good at creating recipes from scratch. Maybe he doesn’t have a strong sense of taste (my husband has this issue so it’s the first thing that comes to mind) so he’s likely to over-do things like spice or sugar or salt on accident. There’s also a lot of room for jokes about his “taste” in things that can come of it (women, clothes, et cetera).

Scene 9: Lee’s Pants

Good scene, 10/10, wouldn’t change a thing. I hope this pants thing becomes a running gag. This is the good kind of humor I want in my life. And I like that Jesse wants to emulate Lee. It’s wholesome.

Scene 10: Rosemary and Clara

The ribbon as a tissue was funny, but it was just SLIGHTLY too over the top for me.

Scene 11: Faith and Carson Again...............

“Were you jealous of that cowboy?” I think he should be. The cowboy is better. I don’t give a damn about these characters. And I genuinely hate that the strumming is Carson’s Thing Now. At the very least we should get some Carson and Bill doing a duet together which would be cool.

It just felt like it was shilling Paul and had nothing to do with the characters.

Scene 12: Mmm Money

This is arguably the most interesting scene in the episode. Lucas nodded at Nathan. Nathan went to Lucas for money. Lucas didn’t need to get the scoop to find out why Nathan needed it to loan it to him. Elizabeth is officially the least interesting part of the love triangle.

They treat her like she’s such a prize to be won, but I’m starting to worry that she’s become the new Lorigail on the show.

Anyway this scene had some gay vibes and I liked them.

Scene 13: Rosemary and Elizabeth Catch Up

YES. GOOD SCENE. It starts off fun and it gets serious, and the transition feels really natural. “Did he have reason to be [jealous]?” I’m genuinely glad this is in the episode. It needed to be. I hope Rosemary continues to ask the hard questions.

Elizabeth needs to face either dating one of them, or dating neither of them so that everybody can get on with their lives. If you’re not that enthusiastic about either of them I’d say...maybe don’t date either of them idk.

Scene 14: Nathan and Bill Talk

"If he sees you with me, then...” The problem with this scene is uh...twofold, let’s say.

Issue 1: ThEN HE WILL WHAT, NATHAN? WHAT HAS HE EVER DONE BEFORE THAT WAS SO BAD if he’s not a hard criminal? Maybe an example would be useful here...?

Issue 2: The old Bill Avery would have heard “if he SEES YOU with ME” and mentally been like, “all right so it’s only bad if he SEES ME” and spied on Nathan.

Nathan wanting Bill to stay behind in case Dylan doubles back isn’t a terrible idea, but it almost comes across more like...the writers just want Nathan alone.

Scene 15: Oil

I like the discussion and that Hickam gets to do something. I feel like Henry is low-key advising against shooting the well, and that Lucas and Hickam will end up doing it and causing an issue. It’s just setting up for the future and it’s nice to see those kinds of scenes in the series again!

Scene 16: Jesse and Lee

I’d like this scene more if I felt it gave us ANY insight into the problem Jesse and Clara are having. It mostly comes across like Jesse gets home and does nothing at all until bedtime and Clara is lonely. Could have been a better scene. It’s mostly just repetitive right now.

Scene 17: Nathan Cancels the Date

“Tomorrow’s Saturday.” Nathan’s like uhhhhh. This actually works really well to do what it’s supposed to do. By that I mean, he seems “off” so Elizabeth realizes he’s a bit stressed and leaving town = mountie business = dangerous.

I kind of wish Rosemary and Elizabeth would talk more about this, but maybe that’s coming in an episode soon...?

Scene 18: The Barbershop

Just a cute nice scene that shows a good friendship between Fiona, Clara, and Faith. I like this stuff. Keep it coming, Hallmark!

(Skipping Scene 19 because it’s just Nathan riding around...)

Scene 20: Lee and Rosemary Scheme

I really enjoyed this little bit where they decide to buy something for Clara and Jesse and we don’t get to see what it is. Super wholesome and very fun!

Scene 21: Nathan gets Ambushed

This scene was absolutely wild. Probably one of the best scenes like this that they’ve ever done. Dylan taking Nathan’s hat, “Take care of my little girl” after he takes the money and Nathan’s gun. It was super good.

Also, not too fake that Nathan was on the ground that long. If you got roped off of your horse you’d have the wind knocked out of you super hard lmao.

Scene 22: Bill & The Girls

Clara and Fiona are so cute. Bill playing the “Dad” figure to them both is really nice and it’s good for him. “I’m a lawman. I get to sneak.” What a Bill response.

(Skipping Scene 23 since it’s just Nathan finding his horse.)

Scene 24: Lucas visits with Elizabeth

Lucas and Elizabeth are flirting via a nursery rhyme. I...don’t like that LOL. But Lucas’s “Helen Bouchard taught me to read and after that I was on my own.” She really sounds unloving. This was a pretty decent scene, though.

Also, Grand Isle Louisiana had a major hurricane in 1909 and 1915.

They also seem to have been hit by more mild hurricanes in 1916 and 1917, but the 1915 one was a Cat4, so...the most notable.

Scene 25: Rosemary and Lee in the Dress Shop

This tries to solve the issue of Clara and Jesse’s marital problems, but it doesn’t actually do that. “Let Jesse read when he gets home.” “I’ll talk to Jesse.” Meh.

Scene 26: Barbershop

“Why do this when you’re so good with women’s hair?” I fully expected Fiona to say, “That’s where all the hot gossip is, of course.” I do like her gumption, though!

Scene 27: Nathan Finds Dylan

“I had to let you ambush me, so I had grounds to put you away.” COLD BUT EFFECTIVE. I appreciate this.

Imagine getting to be this smug. I wish it were me.

Anyway, long-term thoughts on this are mostly that...there is just no reasonable way Dylan’s story is over yet. It’s too juicy of a storyline to let go this easily. Allie is going to find out what Nathan did and she’s going to struggle to come to terms with it, especially after her grandfather really did try to turn his life around. Why couldn’t it be the same for her father? Why couldn’t she get lucky like that?

I hope it feels satisfying, whatever they choose to do. Otherwise this was just wrapped up too neatly/too quickly.

Scene 28: Nathan Returns

Very good scene. Nathan’s in a good mood and he does my favorite trope of all time when one person in the relationship has a child: “Why don’t we all go?” You already all know each other, so why not? It’s wholesome and good, and it shows he doesn’t care how he gets to spend time with Elizabeth, as long as he does.

Also, it takes a lot of the pressure off of her for the duration of the date and at its conclusion. This was a cute and good scene, one of the better they’ve had, I think.

Scene 29: Jesse and Lee Talk

This was a nice attempt at a talk, but it really comes off like Jesse has stopped loving Clara for no reason. That his romantic interest in her is what is causing the failure in their relationship.

The problem is: WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS CAUSING IT. NOBODY EVER SAID.

I agree that love isn’t “just” a feeling or “just” an emotion. It’s ALSO a choice. Marriage is a commitment you choose to continue every day. That is all good.

“Choose love. Then you feel it.” is probably some of the worst dialogue they’ve put in the show, though. Yuck. It left a bad taste in my mouth. It feels like it’s shaming people who legitimately fall out of love or who are in bad relationships. “If only you chose to work harder.”

I don’t think that was their intention at all, but it really soured the scene. I would have MUCH rather have had Lee get Jesse to talk about what’s wrong and then offer him pointers on how he could do better. Maybe he’s stressed out and losing himself in books, or he wishes Clara would sit and read with him because that’s something he always wanted. Or maybe Clara would be down for reading time if he read to her while she did her sewing.

There’s so much they could have done here to really send this home, but it didn’t work very well. At the very least Lee could have said, instead of ‘choose love’: CHOOSE COMMUNICATION. Make sure she knows you still feel that way about her.

The biggest thing is like, Lee could also be very encouraging in saying like, the honeymoon phase doesn’t last forever but just because things settle down doesn’t mean the love is less.

THERE IS SO MUCH GOOD STUFF THEY COULD HAVE WRITTEN FOR THIS but they chose “Choose love. Then you feel it.” WTF. That’s awful advice.

Scene 30: Jesse and Clara

Him bringing her flowers was a nice touch, and her getting him the book was also nice. The tandem bike was SO unexpected to me and I loved it. It’s just goofy enough that it works. The best part is that they know it’s not going to fix anything, but it’s still a fun and nice thing to do, and that’s wonderful for Rosemary and Lee. They both like to make the people they care about happy.

Scene 31: Mama Bouchard

MILF ALERT.

Elizabeth is just so shook at all of this she doesn’t say a damn thing for so long it made my palms feel sweaty.

“Someone ought to take an interest in your writing, don’t you think?” I rewatched the episode to understand the tone, and it’s a little hoity-toity/uppity, but she actually doesn’t sound condescending. It’s good for an editor to meet the author, after all, and meet to talk about their writing/book. This has always been custom, even in the early 1900s. Authors didn’t usually get their work published by an editor they’d never met (though of course, you will find some exceptions).

From the little we saw, Helen seems fine. The preview for the next episode tells us she’s UH, AN EDITOR DOING HER JOB, so I’m not looking forward to the editor being the bad guy, but I guess I’ll have to deal with that when it arrives. (To be clear, Elizabeth has never proved to the audience that she’s a Good Writer, let alone a Great Writer. She’s also not experienced which means her work probably NEEDS SOME WORK.)

Anyway, Elizabeth is immediately rude as HELL. Nobody can make an excuse for this. Helen isn’t THAT big of a deal. There are other publishers. Your father is filthy rich. If she changes her mind about your book you can pub to someone via your father if you have to. Like...Helen wouldn’t have taken you on if she didn’t see any potential in you.

Even if it was a big deal, Elizabeth has NEVER been a flake. EVER.

This is a classic case of a writer forcing the character to go out of character in order to bend to what the plot dictates.

If I were Nathan, I’d drop Elizabeth like a brick.

How to fix this scene? I’ll honestly have to think about that for a while. This was the first hint of truly bad writing this season. The bit with Lee and “choose love” was careless writing, but this scene with Nathan is just Bad.

The thing is, I KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING. I know they put this in there so that it looks like she’ll choose Lucas because she never even goes out with Nathan, and then BOOM. I know it’s meant to be this big thing about how she’s scared to feel anything for Nathan because Lucas is the safer option and also a good man (so why would she fall for the more frightening option?).

But this was not the right way to do this type of scene. I hope to God in the next episode someone says something about it. Allie could tell her it was rude and it hurt Nathan’s feelings/you shouldn’t have said yes if you didn’t want to. It’d be fully in character for her. Rosemary could also say something similar. If they do, I might be able to forgive this...but if it’s not called attention to by the other characters, then it’s a massive failure as a scene to me.

Did I miss anything? Do you want my thoughts on something in particular? Shoot me a message HERE and I’ll do my best to answer!

#when calls the heart #long post #season 8 shenanigans #season 8 spoilers #episode write ups

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camelely · 5 years ago

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13rw S4 Fix

So i did one of these for last season and I think now that I’ve had some time to think about S4 I’ll do the same. While last season I thought the issue was one character being overused. But here it seems like there were multiple smaller things that could have improved the whole season Again I’m keeping the same basic plotline and characters :)

1) Winston

Have Winston stay at Hillcrest. Him moving to Liberty did nothing for the main plot and he was basically a red herring through most of it. Let him try are befriend the characters from the outside. He can learn about Jess from Bryce’s trial and the news coverage and then try to befriend her at Monet’s. This is where he meets and later starts to date Alex. Since he doesn’t go to liberty school Alex sees him as a sort of escape and lets him in. Clay and Ani dont tell everyone about him because they dont know he is trying to get close to them. It makes them seem less like assholes and more like people. They don’t mention his connection to Monty because they dont realize how close he is getting to answers. Clay can still suspect he did the graffiti, after all it was a break in and a non student could have done that. Plus Estella is another red herring in the school. She serves that purpose so let Winston be the outsider looking in. His arc would still be about knowing a different Monty and not knowing who is was at Liberty but now he is literally the outsider who didn’t really get Monty, rather than it just being a figurative thing at the prom. You can still have the prom scene it would just be entirely imagined rather than the half imagined thing they went with. I think they overused the people talking to ghosts thing so here it would be a fantasy of Monty and the relationship they had rather then a representation of what could have been. However I don’t think this would have retracted from the point. Also play him up, he is a sympathetic antagonist and it sucks how much he is sidelined for Diego. I didn’t hate Diego but Winston and him basically went through the same arc. They were pro Monty and ending up dating a member of the group, couldnt believe that member was involved and then learned something about Bryce and Monty agreed to move on and just did. All while saying they will alway care for that member of the group. It was an unnecessary rehash. Having WInston be the outsider looking in and Diego the insider looking out also lets their characters compliment each other. They should still work together, just have Winston contact him looking for Monty’s friends. It’s simple.

2) Tyler and Tony

Oh Tyler. The character who seems to be in the middle of everything despite never doing anything himself. I didn’t mind his arc of helping the cops find the guys who sold the illegal guns. But Tony’s suspicions, eventually leading to Clay and Tony finding out the truth and just moving on never really go anywhere. I think it would be cool if Tyler tells Tony, despite the cops telling him not to tell anyone, because he trusts Tony. But Tony, who has had bad run ins with the cops, thinks it is a bad idea. He doesn’t want Tyler taking the deal. Tyler says its the only way the guns wont be traced back to them but Tony thinks teh cops are planning to double cross them to mind out more about Bryce and Monty. At the same time he starts getting close to that cop that takes him boxing and helps him get into college (i dont remember his name for the life of me lol). Tyler sees this as being hypocritical and pulls away. Tony still suspects Tyler is behind the lock down because he is pulling away and Tony is getting paranoid. The rest of their story can still be the same but this way they can show Tony’s paranoia and his loyalty.

As for Tyler and Estella, It was fine. The scene of them in the bathroom was really powerful, being in the bathroom with a de la cruz and becoming comfortable because isnt her brother was really nice. This could even be another reason Tony and Tyler fight. Tony can be paranoid that Tyler is trusting her too quickly and think she will turn on him.

3) Jess

Her arc with the principal, being scared and agreeing with the security measures before she sees them in action was really interesting. Focus more on it and less on her manipulating Diego. I did like parts of that arc for her so I don’t want it completely gone but I do think focusing on her working with the principal would have been cool. I would call more attention to her first meeting and her agreeing with the measures and slowly show her change her mind and start to turn against them. Maybe even have an early scene of her and ANi talking about it and have Jess admit she feels safer. Move the creepy cop trying to pat her down to the second or third day. So she can have a moment where they make her feel safe before the negative experience. I loved the protest and a bit better build up would have made it amazing

Her arc with Ani. They fought over Bryce... It should have been a conversation. Not a moment where Ani judges Diego and then they argue. I still think this arc should have been Chloe and Jess and should have been in last season. But they had the opportunity to include Chloe this season and just didnt. I’ll talk about this a bit more in the Zach section but I think Chloe should have been at Prom and the moment between the Ani Jess and Chloe should have been then. It would be right after Jess and Ani made up and would have been cool.

I don’t think she should have had scenes where she saw and talked to Bryce. Yes it created some powerful moments but they could be reworked. Have WInston use his wealth to commission a positive thing in the paper about Bryce and Monty and have her talk to his idealized photo of Bryce. I will mention it in the Clay section but her hallucinations detracted from his journey with mental health.

4) Clay

Okay two thing here the first is his arc with mental health, hallucinations, and blackouts. They used it for drama and I wish they hadnt. It should have been about him healing. I didnt mind the way they handled the realization for clay that it was him doing everything (Did they explain the symbol he kept drawing because I missed it if they did? or i just forgot because it was that forgettable lol) but I think the whole thing could have been handled a lot better and a more educated fan then I can provide a better explanation for what exactly was off about it. I will say the the therapy sessions were repetitive and I know thats realistic but for a tv show its boring. The scene were Clay goes to his home was weird and low key scary. I understand the purpose but I wish he had called him and asked to meet at his office instead. A more likable and relatable journey for Clay with his mental health would be really good for a show that was accused of glorying suicide (personally i dont think it did. My inbox is open if you wanna talk though :))

The second thing is the phantom phone caller. I hate this trope so it might just be me but this is so stale. There are exactly two ways it could go. The person could know everything and be a real problem or the person could be fishing for information and not be a real problem. The whole thing was predicable since Winston had red herring written all over him, Estella was barely developed, and on this show it is always the football guys. Instead let the pranks be smaller and less crazy. Like these boys had to coordinate a lot to mess with Clay. There should be more than one prank and end with a Monty doll and Clay holding a knife to set up the camp episode. But they should be pranks, not the phantom caller psychological torture bs. The blood shower can also happen just on a different day. Clay can be confused about what is real and what isnt making him even more worried about his blackouts and again assuming the mental health arc is handled well, the pranks can be a real part of it. Dumping him in the pit on the camping trip also seemed kinda attempted murdery so maybe do something like tie him to a tree of the path or in a small dirt ditch not a rocky pit where if he hit his head or fell weird the team would all be murderers.

5) Alex

His arc with Charlie was one of my favorite stories this season. I was also not bothered by him getting close to and exploring his sexuality with Winston and Zach. I’m in the minority but I’m glad Zalex wasn’t made canon and Zach was used to be an effective (kinda) ally and good friend. Plus this way Zalex can live on in the fandom untouched or ruined by the writers interpretation.

They should have given us Alex in therapy. He tried to kill himself had a traumatic injury, an arc with steroid abuse, and an arc about killing someone. All of which were forgotten this season. All the other characters seemed to be dealing with Bryce and Monty, why not focus on Alex? Even if it isnt in therapy just let him exist in his feelings.

6) Zach

I have one major issue with Zach’s arc, the lack of Chloe. She was the reason he almost killed a man. Let them date, let him start to spiral while dating her. She doesnt know what he did. Have them grow apart on screen but her still connecting to him and not wanting to give up on him. They should go to prom together. I know the hooker was supposed to represent Zach turning into Bryce with the hookers and the drunken sex/potential rape and cocaine. But Chloe fills the same comparison. He brings cocaine she is not okay with it, He tries to convince her to have sex in the back she is not having it. Maybe he tries to convince maybe it becomes a bit worse than that but she breaks up with him at prom and leaves early. She sees Bryce in him, she doesnt have to say it but you can see it on her face and she walks away when her mind and heart tells her to this time no making excuses. Boom Chloe actually has an arc. As for Zach this is a big wake up call for him he sees what we had become. I know it is later in the actual show but I think it should be in the prom episode so he can have a better conclusion in the finale, like the other characters. The whole season was a downward spiral and I wish we got to see more of him pulling himself out of it. If the whole finale is him getting better even though he wont be all the way done he will be in a better place up the end.

7) Justin

Okay the hard one. I think the writers really wanted to kill him. I mean a fan favorite, who did bad things, and the death would be in the series finale. this is a tv writer’s drug of choice. So I’m gonna do a fix where I still kill him first then to the ideal version. Ok so first Justin dies. No HIV/AIDS. It was out of nowhere, unneeded, and seemed a bit insensitive. If you want it to be related to his drug use, make it so he got a bad batch when he relapsed. Or maybe organ failure. If it doens’t need to be drug related it can be an accident or someone he knew on the streets getting revenge, like that drug dealer we spent time with last season. Or if Justin helps Tyler put the gun salesmen behind bars then have it be retaliation for that. He can still go to the hospital and have goodbyes but it wont be an aids diagnosis and death in the same episode. I know they had signs in earlier episodes but the timeline is still really fucked up...

An ideal ending would have him live. He can still pass out at Prom. The diagnosis can be a combination of stress and withdrawal symptoms.He can be the red herring for the person in the coffin. If Justin lives he can represent hope. He can show the audience that you can get better and things can work out. Even if you are sick and think you will die you can do better be better and live in a better world. Plus I love him and really wanted him to be happy. The message would be you can get out of a bad situation and wold have ended a sad series on a positive note. Even if you are a bad person. Even if you have bad circumstance. Even if it feels like the world is against you, it can get better if you put in the effort. Which felt like the message the show was going for in eariler seasons by showing the people on the tapes doing better but abandoned this last season.

So who would I put in the coffin. Ani’s mom. Now I know she wasn’t a well liked character and her mom wouldn’t have the same audience or character reaction Justin’s death did. But this version isn’t about making the audience sad. Ani would finally have a plot that was really about her, her mom died, Bryce’s mom basically wants to provide for her. And she isn’t sure what to do. Justins funeral felt like it was overshadowed by graduation anyway. Now Ani’s moms absence and the funeral being overshadowed both make sense. She is going to college and doing what she can to honor her mom. And the death of a parent causes Clay to immediately appreciate his own family more. The theme in the first season with Clay was appreciating and acting on his feelings for Hannah before she was gone. Ani’s mom dying is a reality check for him and he know the most important things are his family and friends. Justin’s arc was about finding a family and he did. The core of the show is about family, friends, and the importance of a strong support system. And starting it with a mother grieving her daughter and ending it with a daughter grieving her mother would be a cool full circle moment.

This post is really long so if you read all the way down Thank you! :)

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viqwxcs · 23 days ago

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wth did I js read 😕

#౨ৎ ⋆ ｡˚ viqwxcs yaps #a darker mischief #like I'm not saying the book was bad but like I dunno the closer I got towards the end or climax or wtv the less interested I got #atp I didn't care for the characters and one of the characters dying was soooo uncalled for #and the relationship between the man character and their love interest was low-key weird as the story progressed and rlly toxic I my opinio

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larsisfrommars · 4 years ago

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Rewatching Campaign 2: A Show of Scrutiny!

First wE plAy dUngEonS N dRAgoOns!

“Boo! Yay! Booeayayyyyy??” Sam’s ads never cease to amaze. 😂 Old school theme song gives me CR1 nostalgia ☺️

“I would like to make a counter offer!” GOD I missed Molly so goddamn much, I hope Tal gets to play him a few more times. Caleb sticking his neck out for Molly 🥺 he warms up slowly to the group but man, when he does, it’s in acts more than words. (I can’t believe people used to think Caleb was a Vax copycat! They’re SO different! Vax would’ve probably just have tried to do what Yasha did and then popped back up to do a jailbreak.) Sidenote: I still love Caleb’s voice, but I kinda miss when his accent was lighter.

God there was still SO much (more) Marisha Hate when this campaign started, I remember loving Beau right off the bat, and I totally get why Beau/Marisha did what she did in this episode. She’s still a rebellious teenager at heart and she’s trying to interrogate people and (sometimes needlessly) bucking against authority. People would dogpile on her for little mistakes literally everyone else makes. It’s amazing how people in this fandom make such a Huge Deal out of shit like that, and how little it ends up Actually Mattering. Exhausting.

Fjord being CHARMING 😍 I love him. OH NO the stupid little sister thing lmfao JESTER NOOOOO everyone is so stupid and I love them. Caleb being afraid to join the group and Nott trying to convince them, he was so scared, all the time. Then after all is said and done, Veth is the one who needs to stay and Caleb is the one that wants to keep everyone together??? The CINEMATICS sure do PARALLELS.

God I forgot what an absolute nervous wreck Nott used to be! Wowwwww “YES HELLO THANK GOD FRENDS” Sam jeezus kraist. Nott loves trinkets, Fjord doesn’t like ale, such grand departures from their former characters 😂

It’s interesting which things everyone is choosing to lie or not lie about, Beau is low key the most honest about her past which is odd! MORE THAUMATURGY!✨This minor feat of body horror was brought to you by The Traveler✨

I love how enamored Fjord used to be with other people’s magic and things. He’s still sticking to that “look at me I’m all cool and badass and southern and mysterious” but the dork we know is in there peaks out where magic is concerned.

I find it interesting that Tal and Travis had such a fantastic energy this campaign, a vibe that stuck between them through both of Tal’s characters (both Molly and Cad) that Percy and Grog never had. The conversations they have, even when they’re bullshitting each other have an Energy. I love it, Fjord had some super interesting and in depth relationships with everyone, including Molly. It’s one of the reasons Fjord was my favorite character from this campaign. Makes me wish Travis remembered more of his conversations w/ Molly for the BBEG fight.

Awww, Beau’s low key abandonment issues regarding Fjord and Hester going out in disguise on their own, she really is just a lonely and angry teen deep down. Thinking about Beau in drag for her disguise: I AM G A Y Y Y Y Y. The sibling dynamic Fjord and Beau have really started off early huh?? Hell yeah. Fjord being Beau’s acting coach lmfao.

Aww Jester and Nott’s friendship is already budding, Jester has always been so disarmingly nutty and kind. No wonder top table all grew crushes off her. Lmao “yes mommy!(??)” everyone in this group is somehow EVEN MORE awkward than they are later, it’s amazing.

Awww Caleb and the barkeep was cute, setting the tone early for the proliferation of smut throughout the series. Maaaaan, Molly’s conversation with the solitaire dude was INTERESTING, I 👏🏻 missed 👏🏻 Molly 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 It’s so weird how Uka’toa was a huge deal and the first thing Jester, Fjord and Beau fought together was a water snake, #thecinematicssuredoparallel

Wow, even early Fjord is doing the delegation thing while they investigate! Sticking to people’s strengths, encouraging those that have unique advantages. THIS! This Right Here is why I consider Fjord the “leader” of the Mighty Nein!

(Picking up after a few days) We’re alone? Great! Let’s go book shopping!! 💕💕💕 this shopkeep is absolutely adorable lmao. Rewatching clips of Vax and MAN he and Caleb are SOOOO different! Even if rn they kinda sound the same lol.

The platinum flask?! So soon??? Wow! I didn’t realize she got it SO early in the campaign?! Yoooooo?! What if the hooded figures Nott saw were Tombtakers?! Or Tharazidun cult members?! GUYS w h a t IF?!

God I forgot how chaotic the “plays” and dynamic duo madness Nott and Caleb had lmao. LEVEL 2! 🤣 Jester what the fuck lmao?! “Not in the Ustaloch!” God I love these idiots. CANON ENBY MOLLY! New gender just dropped, ✨Fabulous✨

Fucking FJORD using his real voice as a fake voice wjat the fuck?! It’s so weird coming back to this and knowing what he actually sounds like what the fuck?!? Followed by an AMAZING Grog slip up! 😂

God Molly’s “accent” sometimes man, sometimes I think it’s not as bad as everyone says and other times it’s just 😬 oh, Tal, buddy… no.

I see both Fjord and Jester resort to panic fjlirting when they think they’re in trouble lmfao. “We suck at this” LEVEL 2! Sit down cross legged to not look threatening?! Jessie, w h a a a-???

God, Matt I love you so much. You are so talented and can play so many different characters BUT you can NOT play kids. You roleplay Luc (4) and Toya (12) exactly the same way lmfao.

Awwww Toya and Molly 😭 so wholesome, even if Molly wasn’t around, it would’ve been cool to see the M9 interact with the circus more.

POOR ORNA LMFAO these idiots are so great. The Knot sisters are only here for the drama, everything is so fucking stupid and chaotic ohhhh my god I love these idiots. Sam accidentally called himself a GNOME lmao?!

Also Molly short circuiting when he finds out the literal devil toad reads as fucking fiendish with the detect good and evil spell lmao. Ohhhhhhh shit lmao I’m so glad they FINALLY figured it out. This has been such a clusterfuck. DARK SHADOWS RANDO PERSON AM I FORGETTING SOMETHING?! Was that Kaori?! Oh… it was. Oh. Lol.

“They uh… zombies!” Love Caleb 😂 good gods what a cliffhanger. Can’t wait for next episode’s combat!

#Crit role rewatch #critical role #crit role #critical role spoilers #cr2e2 #cr2ko: 0 #Lars watches CR

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bagheerita · 4 years ago

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So I just finished Empire of Gold and need to gush about The Daevabad Trilogy for a minute.

(I try to be vague, but that's exactly when I up and hit you with low-key SPOILERS, so be aware.)

My rambling is only barely organized into the format of randomly selected topics in order to provide a vague outline for my outflowing of affection for each book.

CITY OF BRASS

Favorite character: Definitely Nahri. I love a woman who isn't afraid to go after what she wants, and boy howdy do I love me a pragmatist. AND do I love me a girl who can keep her head on her shoulders even when she's in-lust with man. As much as she is truly falling in love with Dara, she never forgets the way he looked at her when he thought she was shafit and his relief when Ghassan said she wasn't. She would have married him if he had offered I think, but she was smart enough to make him take the first step to cross the gap that his prejudice had put between them.

Most impressive thing: The way the author uses her narrator to tell a story that the narrative character doesn't always fully understand. This mostly comes through Ali's chapters at this point cause he's a little naive, but it's really skillfully done.

KINGDOM OF COPPER

Least favorite thing: There are some moments that just felt... weirdly written. There's three big ones that come to mind...

At the beginning- the way the writing describes the environment. I'm paraphrasing because it's been a week since I read it and I don’t remember details, but it's like "the only sound in the graveyard was the distant sound of cats fighting" then, five minutes later "The only sound was the sound of coins jingling in her basket." Like, where were those coins five minutes ago?! Also, why does an experienced thief put coins in a jingly basket that is easy to steal or drop instead of hiding them on her person??? (That's super nitpicky, but it was the first chapter, so I noticed it more.)

The second big moment that annoyed me was... okay so Dara learns that Muntadhir is bisexual through mind-reading powers that he's never previously demonstrated? I mean, there are enough clues about how he does it, and it makes sense to the character's history that he can sense peoples’ desires, but it felt weird that this is the only time we really see him use this power- here, as the inciting incident to the third act, where so much of the plot revolves around it. Dara already knew that Ghassan was planning to force Nahri to marry Muntadhir, they'd already talked about this, so I'm not sure what about Muntadhir being in a relationship with a man, as opposed to the multiple women he’s slept with this week, was enough to make this prospect so immediately repugnant that Dara goes absolutely stupid about it and incites the climax of the book.

Then there's the epilogue that basically just exists to point out what we already learned about Muntadhir and Jamshid. I thought that was kind of unnecessary, as no one in this epilogue scene, including the reader, doesn't already know about this relationship. Though the epilogue does also contain what I think was supposed to be foreshadowing, but which sent me off on a weird mental tangent where I spent most of the second book thinking Jamshid was the reincarnation of Rustam...

Favorite character: Muntadhir, hands down. There is one scene in particular, where he sasses Dara while dying of poison that is just my favorite scene in the entire book. I mean, I think part of my enjoyment was that I had been worried that he was about to be a victim of the Bury Your Gays trope, so when he shows back up still not dead I was so relieved to see him I literally squeeeed, and then he's bragging to Dara about something I explicitly know didn't happen, just actively involved in assassinating his own character because he has nothing else he can give to save his brother at that point except trying to distract Dara by enraging him... omg, do I love me some brotherly feels- my second favorite scene was the three siblings in a closet plotting a coup.

Least favorite thing: Dara lying to himself and justifying Manizheh's actions for the entire book. I get that the fact that he was lied to and betrayed by the people in power that he should have been able to trust is a big part of his arc, but I was not excited to have his POV added to this book just to have him and everyone around him spout off more prejudiced victim narrative bullshit every time I flipped to his chapters, like I wasn't getting enough of that from practically every other character in the story.

Most impressive thing: The author draws some really great parallels and contrasts between the 3 main characters and their journeys that I absolutely love. In chapter 2, Nahri says something like "Where's your sense of adventure?" to her new friend and then literally in the next chapter Ali says "Have you no sense of inquisitiveness?" to his new friend. (I don't like to call ships that early in the story, but I was like- these two are fated to be best friends if not something more.) A bit later in the story, Dara is presented with a choice: to do the easy thing or to do the Right thing, and he chooses the easy path even though he knows that it's wrong. After this, Ali is presented with a choice: to do the easy thing or the Right thing, and he does the Right thing, even though he knows that it ultimately probably won't help. I just really love that this story always feels like every narrative POV and every chapter fully develops the character and contributes to the world.

I also really love the twists and turns that Ali and Nahri’s relationship has taken over these first two books. They really have grown as individuals, and have believed the best and worst of each other, and understand each other in a way that is a great foundation for a truly lasting friendship (which is, of course, the best bedrock for building a more intimate relationship).

EMPIRE OF GOLD

Favorite character: Sobek. I have a soft spot for unrepentant murderers who have a soft spot for the people they find interesting.

Least favorite thing: It ended? I know this book was long enough to be an entire trilogy on its own, but I would have loved more at the end from the side characters. Like, I want 100 more pages just about Jamshid and Muntadhir. I was explicit confirmation of what Zaynab and Aquisa are up to, and a sequel trilogy about their adventures. I want more about Fiza and what her plans are for the future. I want orchard shenanigans with Mishmish. I want more about Sudha and her family. I want more about Nahri conning everyone into making a functional government, and I want more about the trials of everyone in the city learning to not hate and judge as a first reflex. Just MORE!

Most impressive thing: Overall I was just impressed with this entire book. If I had to pick one thing, I would probably say I was most impressed, and pleasantly surprised, by Dara's ending. By this point in the story, I was certain that Dara had transgressed every transgression that it was possible to transgress, and lied to himself the entire way, only deciding upon the Right course of action when it was exactly 2 minutes too late, so I was prepared for him to find Redemption in Death. But once again I was pleasantly surprised at this story's refusal to follow popular story tropes, when it instead granted him true freedom as he perhaps had never known in his life, and the ability to choose who he would live that life in service of- choosing to help those who, like him, had been victims of the ifrit.

I want more stories like this, about characters who are unforgivable, but who are forgiven- not by people or by those they have wronged, but by the narrative itself. Who are able and allowed to rededicate their lives to something, choosing to see their own actions and commit to helping people instead of just blindly following.

OVERALL

Favorite character: I want to say Nahri, though I also really appreciate Ali and his quiet growth from being naive and kind of annoying to a man who is finally comfortable with and understands himself. But I think I’m going to have to choose Jamshid. I really like characters who are honest with themselves about their motivations, and I really admire his willingness to be open to change, to having his entire world and beliefs be turned upside down and try to go with the new way of being instead of holding on to the past, to confess his sins and be honest with Nahri, to believe in the people he knows rather than in what others say about them when Manizheh tries to manipulate him, to have been through everything he's been through and still retain a sense of humor and a generally upbeat personality.

The author does a good job of presenting all of the characters as fully rounded people so that there isn't really a character that I find poorly written. I definitely disagree with a lot of characters, and dislike them as individual people, and Manizheh comes the closest to being someone I truly hate, but you can see the paths that brought these people to be who they are. There are some great lines- where I think it's Nahri who notes that Ghassan's father make him like he was by his abuse, as he had twisted Manizheh up with his own abuse, and that Muntadhir could have easily become just like his father. All people have the potential inside of them to be good or to be evil, and they are formed by the circumstances of their lives, the choices they make, and the power they give to the relationships they have. I also loved that, once she learns the truth about her parents, Nahri notes how much of herself she gets from her Egyptian mother, just as much as she got her Nahid heritage from Rustam, and that it's a part of her that she can be proud of and celebrate.

Most impressive thing: I don't like "realistic" fantasy, where lots of people die, because that tends to be an excuse for the book to just be really depressing. This story really surprised me by being realistic but in a way that was still full of hope. Sometimes people are terrible, or they are broken by the world and can no longer see anything beyond their pain, and a lot of the time the institutions we have created are terrible and are built on terrible things. But there is still always a need for people who do the right thing, who stand up for those who are being treated unfairly, who are willing to make sacrifices to break down the "us" and "them" that divides people. Who are willing to see change not as something to be feared but as a beautiful potential.

Least MOST favorite thing: As Chakraborty herself notes in her afterward: "There are days when it feels silly and selfish to spend my days crafting tales of monsters and magic. But I still believe, desperately, in the power of stories. If you take any message from this trilogy, I hope it is to choose what's right even when it seems hopeless - especially when it seems hopeless. Stand for justice, be a light, and remember what it is we were promised by the One who knows better.

“With every hardship comes ease."

I also believe in the power of stories, and I’m so excited to have been able to experience this one. <3

#book fangasm #the daevabad trilogy #the daevabad trilogy spoilers

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aion-rsa · 3 years ago

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Why the Harry Potter Film Epilogue Never Stood a Chance

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After seven books, eight films, a theme park, and the creation of a veritable merchandising empire, you can hardly blame the Harry Potter production team for wanting to go out on a high note with the final installment of the beloved film franchise. But one final mountain loomed ominously before Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II could wrap: the dreaded epilogue.

This “19 years later” segment closes the final Harry Potter book with Harry and company at King’s Cross, sending their own children to Hogwarts. In theory, it provides closure, a happy ending for Harry, and the satisfaction of continuity with another generation of witches and wizards off to school. In practice, it was an absolute beast to film. For one, no one knew the best approach to handle the hair or the makeup required to age the 20-something cast into believable 39-year-old parents of 11-year-olds.

They filmed it once, and even the hair and makeup people on the crew admit that they went too far, giving Ron a potbelly, jowls, and a badly receding hairline. (Rupert Grint himself said of the initial cut: “The images of me still haunt me.”) When photos from the original epilogue leaked, there was an immediate fan reaction, and it was not positive. Months after shooting had wrapped, the main cast was hastily called back for reshoots, this time with a simpler, more low-key visual aesthetic. The production team was evidently satisfied that they had done their best, and this was the version that made it into the final cut of the film.

The scene is fairly simple. The golden trio reunite at King’s Cross to see their children off on the Hogwarts Express. Harry’s youngest son, Albus, is anxious that he will be placed in Slytherin, and Harry comforts him, reminding Albus that one of his namesakes was in Slytherin and still a brave man. And, besides, the Sorting Hat takes your own preferences into consideration before placing you into a house. The kids get on the train, their parents tearfully watch them leave, and one would believe that all is sunny in their world, mostly because Rowling tells us so.

It doesn’t work on screen. But it isn’t the hair or the makeup departments’ fault. Indeed, there probably isn’t anything the production team could have done, other than to acknowledge that the scene shouldn’t be included at all. The issues with the epilogue go much deeper than bad aging makeup or weird hair. It’s not the execution of the scene but rather the scene itself that doesn’t work. After building an entire magical world from scratch, J.K. Rowling boxes the characters into a rigidly conservative future, fundamentally misunderstanding and actively eschewing the logical path she herself has put the characters on through their adolescence.

The logical closure point of the story is the aftermath of the Battle of Hogwarts, and Rowling herself has admitted in an interview that the main reason she was so keen to include the epilogue had nothing to do with the main cast of characters, but instead because she was eager that readers know that poor, orphaned Teddy Lupin, son of Remus and Tonks, would be okay in the end. That sentimental instinct would ultimately undermine the growth of each of her lead characters.

Let’s review. On the surface, this epilogue is positioned as Harry Potter’s ultimate happy ending. The boy who grew up alone and unloved now has a warm, tight-knit family of his own (and as if that wasn’t enough, his two best friends are conveniently part of that biological family!) But it’s important to remember that Harry spends the entire series utterly burdened by the past. The most important event of his young life happens at its very beginning, when he survives the curse from Lord Voldemort. Throughout the books and movies, he is constantly looking backward: poring over old photographs of his parents, physically exploring memories from their time at Hogwarts, ruminating on the life and history of Tom Riddle. In one of the later books, he’s given the opportunity to have career counseling with Professor McGonagall, and he’s completely nonplussed: the idea of life after the urgency of his battle against Voldemort scarcely seems to have occurred to him.

There’s never an opportunity to face the future; it’s always about resolving the issues of the past. And although in this epilogue he is, literally, in the future, it nonetheless reveals that he’s never stopped being beholden to the past. The proof is in his children’s names: James Sirius, Albus Severus, Lily Luna. With the exception of Luna, he’s used his sons and daughter to serve as a living mausoleum for the long-dead. The only conversation we hear from Harry to his son Albus is one of legacy, honoring the memory of old mentors. Rowling clearly intends this vision of Harry to be a positive one, but it comes across as sad more than anything else: he’s still as weighed down by the past as ever.

Then we come to Ron and Hermione, their relationship a letdown for him and a tragedy for her. Hermione Granger, the brightest witch of her age, intelligent and fiercely ambitious, is still with her high school boyfriend who has never quite appreciated her properly. Ron is smart in his own way, but not in the same way that Hermione is, and she’s set herself up for a lifetime of never being intellectually stimulated by her husband. They make sense as a teenage flirtation, close friends who edge the line between companionship and romance, but it’s hard to imagine an adult relationship between the two of them where Hermione isn’t unfulfilled and Ron hopelessly insecure.

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And finally, there’s Ginny, who is betrayed perhaps most of all. Her character is one of the biggest surprises of the series, as she emerges from the non-entity status as Ron’s little sister into a person in her own right, one who is funny and powerful and utterly self-confident. Constantly underestimated by everyone, she does things in her own way, and unlike many big screen love interests, seems to have a life that doesn’t solely revolve around her boyfriend. But then she turns up in the epilogue, and it’s almost like she’s been lobotomized. Resplendent with aggressively awful mom hair, she walks a pace behind her husband and smiles wanly, without ever saying a word. Firecracker Ginny, who once boldly took her hypocritical brother to task for trying to slut shame her, is turned into human wallpaper. In the Harry Potter epilogue, JK Rowling’s tendency to cling stubbornly to “traditional” cultural norms, a tendency that has developed into vocal transphobic behavior in recent years, is fully exposed. She does a disservice to her characters, seemingly because she can’t imagine a happier ending for them than being in a heterosexual marriage to their high school sweetheart, dropping the kids off at school. After an entire series of magical hijinks and found family, this reversion to normalcy comes across as utterly disheartening. When we look at Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II, it’s easy to blame production issues for why the epilogue underwhelms. But the truth is, it doesn’t work because it tries too hard to fit Rowling’s rigid definition of a happy ending, without consideration for the logical trajectory of the characters. A decade later, it’s one of the major narrative failures of the impressively adapted film series.

The post Why the Harry Potter Film Epilogue Never Stood a Chance appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3ekCL0I

#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

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smolbeandrabbles · 4 years ago

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We Were Like - Fraser x Reader (Black Sea)

Prequal to: Quit Breaking Up With Me / Keep The Girl / Makin’ Waves / Hurry Baby But also readable alone! 😁

GIF Credit: X

@wltz-bby @happyskywhale

Author’s Note: So I scrapped my original first idea for Fraser, and then this song inspired about 20 different fics. This wasn’t one of them, but it fit the idea so well that it landed here!

Point is, this wasn’t the Fraser fic I was going to give you, but it’s the one you’ve ended up with! 😅

We Were Like - Kelsea Ballerini Such a bop!!!

Disclaimer: Black Sea + Characters not mine / gif not mine / lyrics not mine

Premise: The only reason you have this job is to make the most of your summer on the island. But when your diving partner is replaced with an ex-Navy professional, you start to think maybe you can add a bit of romance...

Words: 9227

Warnings: Swearing / Sexual banter / Oh I guess there is sexual content/connotations too. / a bucket load of yearning

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Two sets of lips on a Pepsi-Cola In the middle of the summertime heat you kept it cool We were west coast kids ridin' 'round in your Chevy Nova Said you'd come back for me when you had to leave to go back to school Bare feet and blue eyes on the boardwalk We were counting the stars and the days 'til you had to go Since then nobody ever made my heart stop Like you did when we lived in that summer glow 'Cause we were like fire Summer breeze, seventies, all-nighter Let the beach be the background choir Singing like oh-oh-oh-oh-oh We were like a movie Said I looked too good in that two-piece And for those three months you knew me Remember those, remember those nights? We were like Yeah, we were like Slow dance, romance, sundress, sunshine Your name, cool rain, so good 'til goodbye We were like Slow dance, romance, sundress, sunshine Your name, cool rain, so good 'til goodbye, yeah Tan skin, golden, tattoo, your smile The end, pretend forever for a while

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The fan blades spun lazily overhead, keeping the interior cabin cool on the beach front. It was a little too vibrant green, pops of colour all over the place: but this diving school was also a tourist attraction so, that made sense. Fraser gazed around the room, trying to take it all in at the same time as listening to his new employer, a heavily tanned early-twenties handsome man with overly white teeth. The kind of person that would attract tourists to the cabin. Fraser guessed that a lot of the workers here would be exactly the same. He had a native accent; this wasn’t a summer job to him – he’d be here time and again – probably had something else back home for winter… “…I mean, I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you half this stuff. Your CV says it all man, it’s a pleasure to have you aboard.” “Thanks.” Fraser meant it, even if he sounded a little blunt. He supposed he was probably the most experienced diver here. This wouldn’t be his preferred choice of employment; he’d much rather be getting his hands dirty on a submarine mission somewhere – but he needed the money, and this was the only thing currently going. The twenty-something flashed him a grin, and was about to say something else when a voice cut over him. “MAC! Do you have the keys for boat 4?!” “Hang on a sec…” Mackenzie, Mac for short, leant back to call to the voice, “Sure! Back here, why what’s up!?” She wandered in, and as predicted had the same young, good-looking draw that Mac did. Only she didn’t have the same accent. “Some of the tanks are running low, not dangerously, but it’ll be just my luck that I get some idiot who can’t breathe properly… I was gonna top them all up again.” “Good shout. Uhmmm…” Mac rummaged around below the counter and held them out for her, “Here you are!” “Thanks!” She was about to turn away, but Fraser was too intrigued not to call out to her; “You’re British!” She turned to him, “Yeah.” Although she raised an eyebrow. “Where you from?” “London. Why?” “Ah, yeah I guess that’s pretty far from me.” She laughed instantly, “You’re Australian.” “Right – but the Royal Navy needed some diving expertise that I had, so, I was doing that for a while and I haven’t left yet.” “Royal Navy? Shit, no way.” She grinned, “My dad was a Navy officer for a long time.” “Well you two are gonna get on like a house on fire I can already tell.” She paused at Mac’s comment and swivelled to him; “Oh! He’s Siany’s replacement?!” “Yeah-!” “He’s a Navy diver-! Where did you-!?” She turned to Fraser again, “Oh my god, I’m so sorry – you’re probably gonna be my new partner. Sweet, can I brag I get the Navy diver now?” Mac held his hands up, “Knock yourself out.” This time she held her hand out to him, “I’m Y/N!” “Fraser.” He shook it firmly, “Looking forward to working with ya!”

��*** It was weird at first, Fraser had come from a background not unlike yours. Your dad was also a diver – retired now, but he had been the one to teach you. Navy service wasn’t your optimal career, and at your age you were weighing up education with employment prospects. Sian had a very different way of running things to him. But Fraser was your senior diving partner now, not her, and while you could take boats out alone and sometimes did if you were busy, Mac liked you going out in pairs. It took you a while to get used to the way he was, you could spend all day diving with him on the boat and he would be the sweetest man, kind and helpful – he liked sharing anecdotes with you from his Navy experiences, and his love of the UK, all the reasons why he was still there, but also in quieter moments teaching you other diving techniques and tips that you’d never heard from anyone else. Fraser was so expert that you couldn’t believe he was here, even when your question was simply answered with a shrug and ‘I needed the money’. It didn’t make sense – why wasn’t everyone killing to sign him up? You were out here for a long hot summer and took this to make money, in order to make the most of it. He was here because, according to him, he had no other choice. He was a fair few years older than the oldest in your group – and when he wasn’t diving with you, Fraser spent a lot of time alone. He didn’t like hanging around with you all, and he was pretty blunt with his ‘no’ whenever one of you extended an invitation. You didn’t get it, he was so talkative out on the water - why wouldn’t he want to continue that relationship back on land? Eventually you got the grasp of Fraser was only ever at home in or over the water; on the rare occasions that you did all have to hang out together, or Mac put him front of house he was a lot more awkward, uncommunicative, cagey. You didn’t want to call him prickly but he had that kind of attitude. He certainly tried to get out of this as often as possible, and as Mac began to notice too, the less Fraser had to. That definitely made him a lot happier. The two of you certainly got close. Really close. And because he talked to you more than anyone else, and was older, the others took to teasing you about him. Constantly. At first you pushed them all off – because they were wrong. You didn’t have any interest in him, he was just a nice guy and you enjoyed working with him. Until what they were saying started to have some semblance of truth. The more you hung out with him, the more you started to understand him, the more you began to harbour a crush on him. At first you weren’t sure that it wasn’t just a respect crush, an ‘in awe of him’ crush. But it slowly dawned at you that it wasn’t… No, these were real feelings. Feelings you didn’t need to act on right away; after all, you both had time out here. But when you realised how genuine they were you began to heat up every time those pretty blue eyes flicked to you, with that gentle smile as Fraser imparted on you another tip – or told you some ridiculous diving joke. Occasionally he’d tease you too, and that was always a little harder to counter just because of the way he did it. Sometimes completely deadpan. This afternoon you were filling your boats air tanks again – he’d figured out a more efficient method in the Navy that he was trying to get you to perfect. You didn’t mind him teaching you things, and it meant you got to spend a little more time with him at the end of the day. So as your quiet chat continued, with you observing him and trying to store his methods in your head to the letter, you could see your group building up on the dock, everyone else was already packed away for the evening and dressed. Suddenly their chatter, and their eyes flicking back to you constantly became giggles, that erupted into laugher. “Hey! Y/N, C’mon! We’re going for dinner downtown!” Fraser paused what he was doing, looking between you and them for a second, but you hesitated “Y/N! We get the draw of an older man for you!” there was a suggestive look on James’ face, “But let’s go!” Your face went red, and that had them laughing again. Fraser sighed, rolling his eyes, “Are they botherin’ you?” “N-No… No… It’s, okay.” “You can go, if you want. I can show you this another time.” “No, Fraser – I-” “Go on…” He nudged you, “Don’t make me force you.” You swallowed, calling to them, “Okay! I’ll be a minute!” and turned back to him, “You don’t want to come?” “Nah. Go on. I’ll be alright.” “Thanks, Fraser.” You squeezed his arm affectionately and hopped out of the boat, “See you tomorrow morning!” “Uh huh!” That twang of his Australian accent, another thing you were certain you were tripping and falling in love over, followed you down the dock, “Bright and early!” *** Bright and early it was, it always was. If no one else was around you spent time cleaning up and refuelling the boats, making notes of supplies that needed restocking or things that needed mending. Mac would rock up early-ish and open up the shack, usually he’d bring breakfast if you hadn’t had yours already. Fraser would always forego this and say he’d eaten, leaving you and Mac in the office alone – at least until everyone else arrived to steal what was left: “You know he’s friendly and all, but you’re the only one Fraser really interacts with beyond the bare minimum.” “Really?” “As if you didn’t notice.” “Maybe you should start swapping him around in teams, you get to know him best out there.” Mac shook his head vigorously, “I am in NO way going to mess up your dynamic…” You both watched him for a second, before you raised your eyebrow at Mac, “You seem to think it’s a romantic dynamic.” “Oh come ON. You don’t see the way you look at him.” “Shut up!” You felt yourself blush again. “You have a crush, honey. And I wouldn’t be surprised if he knows it to. If he doesn’t then he’s dense!” “He doesn’t seem that type of guy. I don’t know what it is, but as soon as he’s on land...” “He’s a different person?” “Yeah?” You looked to Mac, expecting him to afford him an explanation. “A lot of guys like him are. He fits the ex-Navy profile. I won’t be surprised if there’s some PTSD in there.” “MAC!” “Look he’s a good diver, but I want you to be careful. Especially if you do have romantic interest in him, okay?” “Mac he’s gotta be at least 10 years older than me.” “Why is that stopping you?! You have what, 3 months with this guy before we pack up for winter, and there’s a chance you can stay together if you’re both UK bound. Just sayin’ – make the most of a summer romance, just be careful!” “I hate you, you know.” You leant across the counter and hugged him, before punching his arm and hopping off the stool. “Oh, I’m well aware!” Before you exited the room, he called you back, “Oh! Y/N!” “Mhm?” “See if you can persuade him out with everyone, please? You know, just once. Or twice. Once a week isn’t a big ask. I just… I think if anyone can integrate him, you can.” “I’ll try my best!” You giggled, “But I’m not a miracle worker!” “Hey!” He grinned, “All I ever ask from anyone is their best!" Your day of diving was pretty easy: Fraser enjoyed getting the more skilled divers so he could take you out deeper into the ocean, dive for a little longer and get a little more technical. However, he didn’t appreciate it when they started messing around and pretending they knew better than he did. They got one hell of a stern telling off and a lecture about the Navy that honestly you couldn’t help but smirk through. Then they were on their best behaviour. More than a few times he’d received a few complaints about it – and seemed not to give a damn when Mac always approached with an “Urm, Fraser, could I have a minute…” Only for you to fiercely back up his story without any hesitation. Mac always looked at you like it was more than a little ironic; you were always one to mess around. But you had real certificates – you were an instructor – you could get yourself out of trouble you got into. And you wouldn’t be putting a whole group of divers in danger doing so. Today you were sitting on the side of the boat as he navigated it out to his chosen diving spot – you wondered what Fraser liked so much about this one. He was prepared to answer. “It’s a little deeper, that might not sound so great, but there’s more space. Less to get distracted by… Just reminds me of what I’m more used to.” “…Which is?” “Diving, diving. Weighted seabed stuff. Technical ship and submarine dives, marine salvage. Things like that. I have nearly every diving certification it’s possible to get.” He gave a shrug, “When I started back in Australia it was a little like this. Reef diving and snorkelling… But that’s not where I ended up.” “When I think diving, I certainly think… this. I’ve done weighted diving a few times, I never found it easy.” “You’ll get used to it.” His smile was small, “It’s a little more of a job than a vacation.” “Then…” You rose and crossed to him, “why are you all the way out here taking amateurs on reef trips?” “A means to an end. Needing the money. Waiting for a job to come up again. Then I’ll go real diving.” “This is real diving.” He looked across to you, grinning, “Naw, now I’d think with a Navy dad – even you wouldn’t think that!” You laughed, “What, do I have to hold you to marine salvage diving now?” “Ah, I think you’d like-!” “Oh yeah?” “Yeah, girl like you could probably handle all those sailors with no problem.” “Was that a compliment?” He chuckled, “Round about.” then tossed his head back, “Go on, you better go make sure they’re suited up! We’re almost there.” “I will.” You smiled, then paused at the door to take him all in again, “...Fraser.” “Uh huh.” “Before we leave… will you take me out? Just you and I?” Your heart fluttered but you pushed it back. Yes, you just wanted him to yourself. You wouldn’t deny it, but you weren’t about to ask him out. “Will you listen to a word I say?” “I’ll try my best.” You gave him your biggest eyes, and he scoffed. “Yeah right. But sure, it’d be fun. I won’t deny that.” “F-Fun?” This time he turned those blue eyes on you in such a way that you thought your heart might dead on stop. “Yeah. You’re a cool girl, Y/N. And I trust you in the water. I’ll show ya a thing or two!” You couldn’t help but internally groan at that, and left quickly so not as to heat up in his presence. Sure, he might. But you wondered if it would be the thing or two that you wanted him to show you. *** He still wouldn’t come out with you all, you tried your best – and be it tentatively, sweetly, teasingly or just angrily, Fraser never agreed to going. You didn’t want to tell Mac to just give up but sometimes you thought about it. Tonight, after you’d eaten you wanted to take a night out on the town for yourself, and swung by your favourite little restaurant bar. The tables spilled out over the boardwalk and the dancefloor straddled both outside and inside, even though it was small. So if you wanted you could dance in the open air. You just liked to dance without the rest of your friends around, and usually liked to dance alone.

You headed to the bar first, and worked up the confidence to get on the floor with your single drink. You nursed it for a little while, but eventually swaying on the bar stool had you up on the floor. It was easy for you to make friends – and sometimes you found girls here who had been on boats during the week, so you weren’t ever really alone. It got later and night really drew in, lamps on the boardwalk igniting and bathing everything in a soft yellow glow. The pretty hanging lights in bars were turned on up and down the street, and it was about your favourite time of night. Yet that wasn’t where your eyes were pulled tonight – instead your eyes were drawn to the bar. Holy shit-! Your heart threatened to get the better of you, although his back was to you and he was keeping to himself, it was unmistakably Fraser sitting up there. You had to let yourself calm down before you gained enough confidence to make your way over – but you couldn’t help but wonder if this was how he spent all his evenings. Was this why he didn’t want to be out with the rest of you? “Hey!” He looked up from his drink – make that drinks; Fraser’s bottle of beer was accompanied by what appeared to be water, and then soda. “How long have you been here?!” Was how he chose to make conversation, no how are you, no sweet smile. The man you spent most of your time with during the day appeared long gone. “Longer than you, I’ve been dancing!” “Oh. I didn’t notice.” You had to pretend that didn’t hurt at all as you settled in next to him, “Is this usual for you?” “No, I just… needed a night out. I’m not a great drinker.” “You’re Australian!” His laugh wasn’t warm, “Yeah, alcohol tends to mess with-” Fraser stopped short and turned back to you, “You out alone?!” He was concerned, instantly. “Yeah…” “You do THAT often!?” “I like the breather. So, yes.” His face pulled into a frown but he said nothing more, turning back to his array of drinks, it was the water he finished first. You were still staring at him; there was something about him not in sunlight. You’d only ever seen him in bright sunshine, but now the shadows were giving you an altogether different picture – his eyes were a deeper blue than usual, and the darkness cut his body distinctively; he looked a lot older than you thought he was. There was a lot of trouble etched into him and the way that he slumped his body over the bar like that; a lot you guessed Fraser would never open up to you about in a million years. And he didn’t look back at you. “Fraser.” When he did turn, he seemed more surprised that you’d still be there. “Dance with me.” “Wh-” You stood and took his hand, hardly believing that you had the confidence. “Please!” “No.” He pulled his hand back, “No, no. That’s not my scene.” “Oh c’mon.” “No. I can’t dance.” “Everyone can dance, even if it’s badly.” “No!” His hands withdrew and he realised that he was not letting you down lightly. In fact you damn near looked upset. Fraser sighed, beer to his lips as you still didn’t move, looking back to the dance floor again. This time when your eyes met his they were doing all your pleading for you. “Please, just one dance?” He put his bottle down and stood, already thinking of all the ways this would go wrong: “Okay, but I mean ONE.” You could not be more ecstatic about this, holding his hand as you pulled him across the floor, although as you slowed to choose a place, Fraser guided you to the outer area, the very edge of the dance floor. You found this to be curious, but didn’t question it. All that mattered was he was here, and he was doing you a favour, you wanted to make sure he was comfortable. Fraser placed his hands on your waist respectfully as you rested your own on his shoulders – it was obvious by how firm his grip was that he was not about to move them, not even an inch. You were a little disappointed – but one step at a time. You could hardly believe that he was here and holding you. Your heart was racing again; he was so close. You didn’t want to call it too close, but Fraser was: he kept the gap, he wouldn’t let you closer even though all you wanted to do was breathe him. Even though what you desired was him holding your body against his. But he had rhythm, and he matched yours. You weren’t sure you expected it – but then he was close to you, and he watched your body day in day out. He knew the way you breathed, probably even here and now Fraser was noticing things about you that you didn’t know yourself. Of course he could dance with you, just like you’d asked, and maybe for one song. But then he didn’t let you go when it was over… Maybe that was because you were locked in a stare like this, your constant wish to pull him closer, the way you knew how hot you were getting under the weight of his eyes; because of how nervous you were, the proximity of his body to yours. You couldn’t stop your eyes from flicking to his lips; you wanted to lean forward and kiss him. More than anything. You couldn’t, you couldn’t risk everything on trying to kiss him here. The rest of your summer would be so awkward that you’d have rather hurled yourself off the side of the boat than risk this… Fraser knew how you felt. It was damn near impossible to ignore when you were this near to him. The way you hung onto every word he said during the day and were damn near besotted with him didn’t escape his notice either. How everyone else teased you for it; yeah, he realised that too, none of you were as subtle as you thought you were. But you were young and impressionable and you just had a crush. A crush that would last the duration of summer, and when you went home and decided on further education or working, he’d be forgotten, and you’d find someone else. He didn’t want to hurt you, Fraser knew that much – it was one of the reasons that he wasn’t going to let you closer. He wasn’t sure he could do something in such measures – something he knew would only ever be a summer fling? It never occurred to Fraser to want to put effort into something like that. You weren’t the only one that was going to get hurt.

Fraser kept his eyes on those around you as the dancefloor became more crowded. Telling himself he was only pulling you closer because he had to. It wasn’t far from the truth, this time he wasn’t really meeting your eyes; and his hands kept in that same position. He’d placed you outside to avoid the majority of people, more space. More air. But as people encroached on you, Fraser tensed more and more, until you knew it was uncomfortable for him. It broke you from your trance; where you could breathe him, close enough to feel the heat from his body as it dissipated from the day. A warmth you wanted to be held in. It was too much, it was too close, and Fraser’s dislike of the situation had him pulling abruptly from you. You weren’t sure you understood even when you felt that change in him. “Y/N, I’m sorry but I-” He shook his head, “S-Sorry.” He didn’t even let you say it was okay before he was off and back to the bar. You sighed gently, moment over. Maybe the only moment you’d get with him all summer. And you hadn’t even remembered to savour it.

***

You’d had your first taste, and you couldn’t help but crave more. So you kept going back; you couldn’t be sure if it was Fraser’s favourite spot, if this was where he spent his evenings. It had been once; and maybe he wasn’t around tonight… the night after… the night after that… because he was busy elsewhere. You kept holding onto the thought that he’d turn up eventually – it wasn’t something you wanted to discuss at work. In fact Fraser’s attitude to you at work didn’t change, almost as if it had never happened. Yet you didn’t understand how he could just act that way – it’d affected you, clearly. Why not him? You didn’t want to confront him about it, in fact it forced you to face the fact that maybe friends was all this was ever going to be… Even over a three month ‘summer fling’ you’d be nothing more than one close dance at one small bar. Fraser did eventually turn up again, but by the time he did you were already a little preoccupied. It was a little later than he’d been in here before and he ordered the same from the bar before sitting. You’d already been here a few hours – but had already been to a bar with the rest of the crew. And you were now drinking on top of ‘pre’-drinking. Stupid, you knew, but it was okay to get drunk every once in a while. As long as it wasn’t totally black out. It took Fraser a little while to spot you and, once he did, he became immediately concerned – it was obvious that you were a little too far gone. You shifted around without any real sense of rhythm, your face was flushed, you were laughing a little to loud and a little too much. What really struck Fraser were the men around you. All a little too close, the one nearest you giving off the most obvious vibes that Fraser didn’t like. Although you were laughing, it was clear that whatever question he was asking (Fraser could only guess), was being met with refusal. But once wasn’t enough, it had been at least three or four times and this guy only seemed to get closer, his friends joining in, with him continuously taking your hand back. This was only going to go two ways and neither ended well for you in Fraser’s eyes; he tipped his glass back, thanked the bar tender and rose from his seat. “You guys want to leave her alone now?” “What?” He turned, looking Fraser up and down with a raised eyebrow, “What’d you say?” “I said leave her alone. I’ve been watchin’ you from over there and she’s said no at least four times. Just walk away man.” “This is none of your business.” Getting up in Fraser’s face wasn’t a good idea, but he didn’t know that yet. “F-Fraser!” Your voice sounded more than overjoyed as you spotted him, “You’re back!” “Oh, I think you’ll find it is my business.” Fraser was unfazed, he’d dealt with people like this plenty of times, “She’s drunk, walk away.” “Make me.” “I’d rather not.” He tipped his head, “Walk. Away.” “Who are you, her boyfriend?!” “Concerned work college, actually.” Fraser extended his hand out for yours, “Y/N, sweetheart, let’s go. C’mon.” The man stepped between you as you lurched forward, “She’s not going anywhere.” “Kid. I was in the British Royal Navy, you really wanna mess with that?!” He hesitated, and backed up a little, “Yeah I thought so.” Fraser pushed passed him and took your hand, “Come on. Let’s go.” “But, I-” “Honey, you can barely walk and I need to leave before this asshole says another word, c’mon.” “Fraser, I…” You stumbled as Fraser tried to pull you with him, leaving him fixing the men with an icy stare. “Leave. Before I have a chance to show you what I’m really capable of.” It was enough, for now. But Fraser knew they’d be back, looping his arm around you. “Okay, come on… We’re getting you out of here.”

It was not easy to walk you home – and Fraser didn’t know where you resided. He knew the group of you shared rooms somewhere on the island, but he’d never been interested enough to find out where. Right now he was regretting it. He wasn’t sure how many you’d had, but by now you were all giggles and slurred words, hardly able to walk properly without him supporting you. A mess. He wasn’t the biggest fan of taking you back to his, although Fraser at least knew he could look after you here. You started asking random questions about everything – only to repeat them seconds later, still joyful. Fraser tried to answer them calmly and different every time, so as not to be driven stir crazy by his own explanation. But very soon your joy turned to puzzlement, and then you frowned a little, hands to your stomach. Fraser knew this one well too; “Are you gonna be sick?” You just nodded and he grabbed your hand, running you to the bathroom. Well, this wasn’t the way either of you thought you’d be spending your evening or time together. Pretty soon you were crying and apologising as Fraser held your hair off your face and rubbed your back. “Shit, I’m so sorry… I’m so, so sorry…” “I’m just glad you’re here and not with some dick somewhere else… Now don’t talk.” Still, you kept repeating it as he sat with you. As you quietened down, he brought you a glass of water: “Drink it, you’ll just get dehydrated.” Whether or not you would keep it down was another question entirely, but Fraser needed to make sure he was helping you. It was in one of these moments of quiet, where you just looked in pain, that you turned to him. You were a little less pale and sweaty now – maybe you were calming down. He hoped so, but knew if it was necessary, he’d stay up with you all night. “What did you mean…?” “Huh?” “When you threatened him you said… he wouldn’t want to mess with a Navy man?” “Would you like to mess with someone who has had military training?” “Prob’ly not.” You shook your head, closing your eyes as you felt dizzy again. You just wanted everything to stop spinning and for your stomach to calm down. Fraser couldn’t tell you the real reason, couldn’t tell you what he was really capable of. The potential that had to destroy things very quickly if you didn’t understand wasn’t worth the effort of explaining. “Hey…” He rubbed your back in soothing circles once more, “You’re gonna stay, okay? I’ll get set up on the sofa, it’s no big deal – you’re gonna be alright here while I sort you out, yeah?” You nodded, and then very nearly gasped as he leant forward and pressed his lips to your forehead, “Alright, sweetheart, give me a few minutes. Yell if you need me.” You didn’t, and took to lying in the most comfortable position you could find on the cool bathroom floor. He stopped by once to throw you a shirt and tracks. Which you could just about wriggle into without causing yourself too much more discomfort. Fraser collected you from the floor a little later, opting to let you walk on your own rather than carrying you. You’d still be tender, and who knows what would happen if he folded your body in a certain way. There were at least 3 glasses of water on the side table as he helped you into bed – and some hangover medication. “It’s not really something I take a lot of, but I hope this one helps…” “It’s better than nothing, whatever it is.” He laughed gently, tucking your hair back. He’d left a bucket, just in case. “Bathroom is just down there though, I’m gonna be right outside on the couch. If you need me or anything else… Well, okay, maybe don’t wake me unless you really have to. But I think you might be down for the count for a while. Just… keep calm, settle down. Get some rest alright?” You nodded, suddenly completely embarrassed, “Thank you…” you covered your face, “I’m sorry.” “Stop apologising. You think I don’t know what a bad night out feels or looks like? It happens, Y/N.” Fraser smiled, “Sleep well. I’ll see you in the morning.” “See you in the morning Fraser… goodnight.” You didn’t hear him exit the room and close the door though – by the time he did that, your body had already put you to sleep through exhaustion. **

When you woke up in the morning it was slowly. Your head was still pounding, but your stomach seemed to be settled. You were huddled up in his duvet, hiding from the world; you took the pill and drank as many of the glasses of water as you could manage. Luckily you hadn’t been ill again, but you were glowing with embarrassment. You must have screwed any chance that you had with him completely. How couldn’t you have? Why had you done something so stupid?! How had you allowed yourself to get so inebriated that Fraser had to see you like that-!! The bedroom door was cracked and your dress was now hung up on the wardrobe. Fantastic; you’d have to do a walk of shame, and you hadn’t even had sex with him. Eventually the pill seemed to kick in, and you sat up slowly. His apartment seemed quiet, you heard Fraser shuffling around but you were enjoying the lack of noise. If you were back with the gang there’d be yelling and screaming already - especially if one of you was hungover. You slowly sipped another glass of water as you stood, shrugging yourself out of his shirt and track shorts you sighed gently. Wearing his clothes too!? Living the dream in the worst way possible…! You pulled on your dress, smoothing it down to look as modest as possible – it wasn’t so revealing, but it was relatively short and strappy. The kind of thing to be worn over a bikini, rather than the way you’d been wearing it. Eventually you thought you’d hidden in here long enough, and took a deep breath, opening the door on his main living area. It was surprisingly clean; you weren’t sure what you were expecting – but you’d lived with men before and they weren’t this neat. That’ll be the Navy… You scanned the room, worn but still nice. Probably in need of a repaint and new furniture in the not too distant future. But good for the busy summer job worker that currently inhabited it. Fraser was sitting up to the kitchen counter, preoccupied with whatever was in front of him. You walked slowly, making sure to balance the glasses, and were immediately curious. You paused before you reached the counter, and were a little taken aback. Sitting in front of him were a multitude of pills of different sizes and varieties. You did the math quick and none of them were in the same quantity. Before he settled on his choices and cleared the rest away into a capped bottle. Fraser didn’t look up until you placed the glasses down, looking bewildered. He picked one of his pills up and swallowed slowly with water. “They’re not drugs.” He could read your look, and that was the first thing you were worried about. “…Then wh-” “I have a personality disorder. They’re my medication.” He said it so matter-of-fact. So blunt. “It’s why I can’t drink a lot, it’s why I can only be around you guys for so long.” Your face changed dramatically and you dropped your head, upset in realisation; “They wear off.” “Exactly. Smart girl.” He repeated the same slow swallow with the remaining collection. “I’ve always been better in water, always. But what I’d do without them… Y’know I need this. Alone is gonna stop me from doing anything stupid. I’m sorry, I should have said something.” “No… It’s personal. You shouldn’t have to disclose something like that…” “You’re my partner out there, of course I should have. An’ now you know.” “I do. But it’s staying between us.” You placed your hand over his, reassuringly, “And I’m the one that’s sorry, I can’t believe you had to see that. I’m an idiot.” “Y/N, I’ve seen people out of their mind drunk before. You’re not the first, you won’t be the last. Forget about it – I’m just glad I was there.” Fraser understood reckless young adult behaviour, hell, he’d been there a few times himself. “Oh…” Your face heated up again, “Well, I… I’m glad you were there to.” He stood, “Breakfast?” “Oh. Please, yeah.” “I’ve had mine, need it for the meds, but… help yourself…” He pointed to several cupboards, “Plates and bowls, mugs and glasses, cereals, cutlery is there, bread there… fridge is…” He waved, “You get it.” “Thank you.” You smiled politely, and walked from place to place as he’d indicated, making your own breakfast. He was reading the paper this morning; it always just gave him something to do. But you were a much more pleasant distraction. And that dress was easy on the eye. Fraser tipped his head, eyes tracing your body through your clothing; it was very nearly backless too, and your sun kissed shoulders and back held a radiant glow in the morning light that was not visible in the darkness, nor club lighting. He’d never seen this much of you before, and he couldn’t help but watch you – you were beautiful. Fraser wasn’t about to deny that, he was just very aware that you had a massive crush. And he wasn’t sure initiating anything with you was a good idea. Whether he wanted to or not. It’s a summer thing, she’ll get over me. It won’t be too hard for someone like her. Besides, Fraser was as worried about if he’d ever get over you. You noticed him watching you, the ways that his eyes always seemed to trace you. It was subtle – and you weren’t trying to read it as what you hoped it was. His blue eyes had this wildness to them, you’d noticed it the other night. That certainly wasn’t subtle, and clearly very subdued by the medication he had to take; you’d never seen him look like this in light like this. It made you swallow hard, left a knot in your stomach that wasn’t uncomfortable. It wasn’t often you’d felt that. You’d been attracted to men before, teenage crushes. Either they were way too old for you, or they were your age and it was teenage love – you’d never taken that ‘sleeping with someone’ leap. Out here on a tropical island alone, you had the opportunity to explore things, but hadn’t yet. Here he was, sitting in front of you and staring at your body… Yet he’d pushed you away on the dancefloor, and you still had to spend time working with him. When Fraser’s eyes met yours again you swore you felt a shiver run through you. You stepped back; heat suddenly rushing places that did make you feel uncomfortable. You body was about to betray you and you were afraid of being unable to control it. “I- I best get going… T-Thank you, for… looking after me and for breakfast. But the guys, they’ll be so worried.” “I get it…” He stood, rounding the table, “I can walk you back to the main strip, you can figure it out from there and-” “No! No!” You ran around his apartment quickly, collecting your bag and shoes, “I’ll be fine, thank you Fraser. I really mean it-” He stopped you before you got to the door. “You’re sure you’re okay?” “Yes!” NO! Definitely NOT! “Okay.” He opened his door for you, “Take care of yourself. And I’ll see you tomorrow morning, right?” “Right.” You nodded to him, voice super quiet, timid and embarrassed about the situation once again. You gave a gentle wave. “Goodbye, Fraser. Have a good day!” “You too, Y/N…” He leant on the door, unsure if he should ask you to stay. Knowing it was better to let you leave, “Be careful.” *** You weren’t about to curse your good luck. You certainly weren’t about to take credit for it, either, but ever since that night, Fraser had started hanging with you a little. Suddenly he’d turn up for breakfast, and even if he took it and ate alone – he’d make sure to spend five minutes conversing with you. He’d never stayed late enough for drinks, but every once in a while, you’d been able to convince him to join you all for dinner. Progress. Great progress. For him too. And although a lot of times he was on the edge of the conversation, the end of the table for quick escapes, Fraser was always next to you. His focus started with you, and branched to the rest of the team and group conversations slowly. But it was still there. When you didn’t need to pay full attention to him to keep him in the conversation, to make sure he was okay, you started to notice other little things about him. Fraser stimmed. First you noticed the way he’d bounce his leg, hand moving over it in sporadic intervals, then how he’d touch the tips of his fingers, back and forth. There was one other place you noticed it, but until you’d witnessed him do this, it hadn’t really occurred to you. Part of his diving toolkit was a knife, it wasn’t big and you’d hardly call it dangerous, Mac wouldn’t have allowed it otherwise (and it seemed clear that Fraser was used to handling something a little shaper), but he’d move this between his hands and thumb the edge of the blade when talking sometimes. It didn’t seem to bother him, and it didn’t bother you, it wasn’t something you perceived as threatening, but you noticed that sometimes guests would get a little uneasy about it. Social situations were clearly never going to be his forte and yet here he was. He was trying. For you? You weren’t so sure, and yet you were almost certain it was to protect you. To make sure you never got in a situation like that again and he wasn’t around to save you. So it was because of you, and in the back of your head, you dared dream that perhaps you’d get your summer romance after all.

This morning once again Fraser stood around for a gentle 5 minute ‘start of the day’ conversation and then went off to eat alone. Sometimes you wanted to go with him, but you felt the others might see you as antisocial. Or you’d end up with more than just Mac giving you the suggestive looks. Speaking of ‘suggestive’, this morning the topic of discussion quickly turned spicy. You virtually tuned out: it wasn’t like you had experience to give input. And half of you thought most of them were bragging about things that had never really happened, or stretching the truth! But, it couldn’t be avoided, eventually they rounded on you: “-Go on, Y/N, what’s your favourite position?” “You’re kidding, Y/N hasn’t had enough boyfriends to know what her favourite position is!” You flushed, “Shut up!!” then cleared your throat, “As long as I can see his face, I think I’m okay…” “Aw, nah, see – I just like tangling my fingers in her hair – especially if I can pull it.” “In your dreams would you get a girl that would let you do that.” Mac laughed hard at James’ cocky face. “EASY! I’ll get one tonight!” Fraser had entered back into the room and was shaking his head - ‘what a bunch of stupid fucking questions’ - he scoffed immediately at James’ comment, making you all turn around. Fraser was therefore made the next victim: “What about you, man?” His blue eyes regarded you all, eyebrow raised, “What?” “Sex – dude c’mon! You’re Australian and you’ve been in the Navy, it can’t be that hard for you to pull!” Fraser declined to comment and said rather nonchalantly, “I dunno, I’m a morning sex kinda guy.” “OOOOHHH!” Mac laughed, “Damn. We keeping you from something?!” That very nearly raised a smile, “Naw, mate. I’ll let’cha know when you are.” You hadn’t heard a single word since ‘morning sex’ and whatever banter was going on around you was drowned out by how hot you suddenly were. All you could think about was the morning you’d stayed at his. The way he’d been staring at you, running those beautiful ocean blue eyes over your body like that. The way you’d only thought about him pushing you away on the dance floor… when maybe you should have been following your gut feeling. Shit, was I not reading the signs, did he-… want me!? You stood so suddenly in the middle of the conversation that the girls around you jumped and everything was thrown into awkward silence, “S-Sorry… I’ll be right back!” You needed a moment. A very… long moment… You didn’t get it until a little later, when you decided you wanted a quiet night in. Not a real moment. You’d had to lock yourself in the bathroom and scream this morning – that knotted feeling deciding to settle in with you all day, as you had to interact with Fraser armed with this new information, kicking yourself. If you’d have made a move what would his reaction have been? Would it have made a difference if that’s what he was into? You lay back in your sheets alone and took a deep breath wriggling your hips around, closing your eyes. All you could picture was his look, those gorgeous blue eyes nowhere but on you… how sometimes he touched you or held you and he was strong… what would it feel like for him to grip your hips? Pin you beneath him? Every little smile or smirk he’d given you. The way he sometimes said something suggestive, or an innuendo, completely serious and yet knowing exactly what he was doing. Then you could feel the heat of his body, how it felt to have him that close on the dance floor – it couldn’t have felt that different between the sheets. In fact, he’d be closer… How would it feel to kiss him? To have his lips on yours, to have them trace your skin – would he be gentle with you? Would he be rough with you? Would that depend on the time of morning… did his medication affect that? Did Fraser have a preference… There were too many questions… and yet so many fantasies you could have all over one man. It wasn’t long before you were sighing gently, wiggling your hips a little more, pushing up to increase the pressure and friction. And then it was Fraser’s name you were groaning. This felt beyond sinful, but you needed it. You probably had for a while. You were in control; but how would it feel to have him touching you like this. You had to know. You vowed one day you would find out… No matter how long it took.

** Your lament that this may never graduate to anything was short lived for two reasons. One was his sudden willingness to hang out with just you. He would ask ‘Hey, you wanna do anything this evening?’ or ‘You free Sunday? I wanna show you something.’ Sometimes that was places he’d seen, sometimes that was diving techniques. He was teaching you things you’d never get the opportunity to learn otherwise and you were so grateful. But when you tentatively questioned him as to what had changed, he simply laughed and said “Well, turns out I can tolerate you when my pills wear off. And it’s kinda nice to hang with someone, sometimes.” When you suggested things to him, Fraser let you drag him around; he even let you hold his hand, and you’d wander down the boardwalk together like that. Fraser was fine with this arrangement, he would let you live the ‘romance’ you wanted to, without entering into a relationship that would hurt you both. You’d get over him, you’d get over this summer. Usually you could bribe him with ice cream. He was certainly of the mind that if you were going to spend a day on the beach then ice cream was a must, and you picked up on this instantly. Although you tried not to take him so far away from the water – quite clearly Fraser’s first love – he was partial to the odd hike on other parts of the island. The second was your own resignation to the situation you found yourself in. The fact that this was never going to happen almost started to become an unspoken thing between you. Holding his hand and going on whatever these ‘dates’ were was safe, and there was no commitment. Fraser never came across to you like he was ready to commit, even if he would talk to you and touch you like he was. Everyone else teased you when you told them you were leaving for yet another evening or day out with him. Cat calls ranged from rather cute to completely unnecessary and vulgar, but it wasn’t like you weren’t used to everyone talking like this; and you went ahead and laughed. Mac was the only one to pull you to one side and ask if what was happening between you was serious. When you gave a shrug and a head shake: “I don’t think that’s how he works. I don’t think Fraser would ever do summer romance. I think it’s all or nothing…” You folded your arms. “Maybe we’re better as friends. I think we’re at different life stages.” “Is that you being sensible? Is that you meaning it?” “It’s me waiting. It’s okay to be friends. It’s GOOD to be just friends. Mac, I won’t lose him if we’re just friends. If we’re UK based, we can wait. I can wait… And maybe it never happens, but, I don’t lose him.” “You like him that much, huh?” Mac flashed a grin, he felt like he probably knew that. “Yeah. Personally, and professionally. What he can teach me, the kind of friend he can be… probably outweighs a rush I can feel and then just… lose EVERYTHING.” You smiled suddenly, “I know which I’d rather have Mac, I think that’s what I’ve figured out. That should be my choice.” These outings continued, and you ended up staying at his place a few more times – luckily not under the same circumstances! Although you insisted on taking the couch this time, liking to spend lazier mornings with him, where he’d tell you how good you looked in what you were wearing and you’d flush and try to forget the morning sex comment again. You were pretty seamless together when you were working and were heading that way socially too. You liked looking after him too, especially in the period where his meds did start to wear off and he wore a little thin, got a little agitated, stimmed a little more. He had your back and therefore you had his – no questions asked. No thanks needed. Summer was inevitably drawing to a close. You had some big life decisions to make, but wanted to put them off for as long as possible. Fraser started looking for what he termed “real work”, other summer shops and attractions started closing, some of Mac’s team bid you farewell to get back to their own lives: he remained open until the very last moment. It began to get cooler, and it was around this time you knew you had maybe 2 weeks left tops. Fraser was tidying away at the end of the long-ish day – it still being busy with less of you around, and talk turned to the future. “What are your plans after this?” “Haha. Nothing!” You folded your arms, leaning against the side of the boat, “Well, okay that’s not technically true. I might go back to school. I think a degree would be nice to have... but maybe I’ll do it part-time. I don’t know if I can commit to full-time.” “Why’s that?” “Just the way I am. If I can work too, why not?” “Uhuh.” “What about you?” Although you thought you knew the answer, he was going back to the diving he did best. “That’s why I asked.” He closed the final lock and turned back to you, “Cuz I’m going back to my freelance diving work. Now, I know, submarine salvage is kinda… niche, but that’s not all I do.” Fraser took a step forward, “Y/N, you’re a good diver. You’re qualified, your dad was in the Navy. You listen to me, more importantly you understand me. We’ve done a lot of work together this summer and it’s been great work. I’m not spending weekends out there teaching you for nothing, and it’s not just because I like you either. You have so much potential. So, I have a proposition.” You stood straight to attention, because it felt like the situation called for it. “Would you like to become my diving partner? Could always use a good one – and you’re not just good – you’re fantastic.” You very nearly chocked; you!?!? You were young and naïve, and surely not as experienced as he wanted?! But easy to teach, quick to apply your knowledge… malleable. “Y-Y-YES!” “Yeah?” “YES!” You covered your mouth with your hands, “Oh, my goodness, Fraser I- I don’t even know how to thank you!” “You don’t need to. You earned it on your own merit. We’ll start you off slow, but I think you can do as good a job as me, if not better. And together?” Well, he simply had to grin to get his point across. “I have loved working with you. And… I’m under the impression that you don’t want to lose this either. So, what better way than with a partnership?” This was somehow working out too well, if you were part-time student, part-time diver then you couldn’t have thought of a better planned out future. And with Fraser? Not even in your wildest dreams. “I don’t.” You said it too quick, and flushed, “I-I mean, I don’t wanna lose this, either.” Fraser nodded, and instead of shaking your hands he simply took them in his; “Well, we don’t have to.” You couldn’t help but beam. Your resignation to being friends was suddenly all the more important. Would Fraser have asked if you’d have pushed for something he didn’t want? Would he have asked if you were going to be a summer romance? You thought the answer was probably not; even if you didn’t want to consider that answer. Fraser had asked you to be a real part of his life. Not just a summer that you could leave up on a shelf and forget. You had time. You had so much time. You could really get to know him, best friends or soul mates… And maybe more… Time would tell. It was strange to stand with him then and wonder on where time would take you. But you were certain that this friendship would stand the test of time. And that, no matter when, you’d get to look back at this summer and see it as a time you met one of your very best friends. A man that you would love for life.

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Thank you so much for reading! 😘🙏

#Fraser #Black Sea #Ben Mendelsohn #Fraser x Reader #182 #Linzi Writes #Smol Bean Drabbles #So - Just thinking about how Hurry Baby ends - like Mac would have a proud dad moment.#He'd certainly encorage them to come visit him #He'd be like /oh I remember you kids when you just met!/#Even though Fraser is obviously older than him #Mac would totally big himself up at as the orchestrator of the romance #Fraser and Alicia would tell him to shut up!#Alicia #Okay so in 'canon' / headcanon.... They are approx. 18/28 in this fic.#But that's probably best not to think about.#So if I aid you... that's 24/34 in the scene you meet them in for her accident.#and 34/44 (ie. 2015 ages) in the 'movie canon' part of my fic.#Eh - volia!

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