#and the potential of life ending threats pfft

[thornstocutyouwith]

He grinned at their reasoning, to be alone. Journey supposed that was also an option. A very good one, for the most part. He figured he could certainly do well, alone. Or at the very least, independent. The thought of complete aloneness was somehow, much sadder than that. Times of aloneness was good. Even if they were extended for long periods "Not generally, I suppose. Though some could not handle it, for it's true meaning. Utterly being alone, it's almost completely rare in these days. To be the kind of person strong enough to be completely alone." It was easy to do, but hard to maintain just going out into the woods and never being found again, he had to imagine.

Smiling gently he looked over toward them, nodding "I think it's probably, if they don't make everyone else know they are smart. They might imagine we think they are stupid, or any other sort of combination like that?" Reasoning he made a face "Maybe it's all just, we as a social species, make a lot of broad assumptions about each other, and get caught up in those, that we set challenges in our way unintentionally in an attempt to maybe disprove those inner concerns of ours." He laughed a little bit "It's probably more damaging than most realize. Imagine how many friendships have been ruined because of that mentality." Lift his left hand up, he pat it to the side of his head.

Raising his eyebrows he glanced over at them, making a almost disapproving face toward them, playfully however "Old and decrepit, huh... I take it you're not too much into the art scene, then." He laughed a bit "I've got a few, not so old and decrepit you can rate till your hearts content." Tapping a finger to his lips lightly, he stares then nods his head, sucking on the top of his finger for a moment as he listen to them "Ah, yeah. It's very terrible, perhaps very traumatic, to live on a razors edge, in such a way, right? One moment, can ruin everything." Shrugging slightly, he glances away "We are a species more complex than these singularly making these small moments, all there are to us, or others."

Hearing them comment on his Game of Thrones reference, he smirks a little bit "Well it was certainly a very interesting concept, breaking the wheel, freeing people from the status quo that'd been holding them back or whatever." He lift up his left hand, playing with a little bit of the hair on the back of his head. Then lift his head slightly at their next comment "Oh yeah, sure. I'm feeling great for now. I'll probably be alright. But i'm not going to lie, that is comforting to know we won't be dying because- I uh, pass out." Which between his heart problems and vertigo, was always a likelihood to happen especially since he had already been having issues just before getting in this accident.

"Good common sense and reliable sources, or multiple even, is a good way to get out of being accused of not knowing something, or cheating. I'd agree." Journey coughed lightly pulling his hand from his head and nodded when they spoke again "Right! Uhm. A date." Nodding to Astrid confidently. Though as they went on, he stares, processing what he was hearing from them "Do I?" Was that stranger, to be like this with someone he had only just met? Turning his head away he grinned "Well, I'm- well, I hope- I mean. It's good, right? Rather than- well, you know- feeling uncomfortable. I think, I feel the same." He told Astrid back.

He grinned as they spoke about zombies "Well, I'm definitely not going to start believing that zombies could ever actually exist. Certainly not anything from most of those media they are in. Uhm, but yeah, they'd definitely have to be mutated, I'd imagine, in some way." Journey paused, thinking this over, then gave a nod, his mortician friend would probably have a lot more to say on this subject, however. At their next question he blinked, raising his eyebrows "Oh. I figure it's because I say things that challenge their beliefs? Or, I don't know, I can be pretty insulting when I'm in a sour mood, combined with the fact that I challenge others." Shrugging a shoulder then "Everyone wants to be right. You know."

Looking away he heard their 'hm' at his reaction to their confession. But he really, couldn't begin to think of what to say to that right now "Sorry." He muttered a little awkwardly. Though as they comment on having known others in law enforcement he brought his attention back "Oh you do? It's not the worst job out there. I enjoyed it." When they hear what he said next he grinned "Don't be. It was bound to happen. I just wished it would have happened a little later." He's shrugging again "Yeah I guess, sometimes. I do go out though, to the park, stuff like that. Nothing that's going to be too stressful, though. Maybe after my surgery that's coming up soon." He pointed out his index finger on his left hand, lazily gesturing to no where in particular.

But as they are asking about what had happened to him, when he was relieved of duty, he exhales "Well-stress from the job. Getting in a fight with a guy I was arresting as they were trying to flee- Kinda was a bad combo from me on that day." He was fine up until the guy had managed to knock him down, and stomped their heel right onto his chest. Journey grimaces slightly, almost as if feeling that again as he heard Astrid's next comment "Hm? Oh. Yeah. You could have definitely said that about her- she'd make sure you respected her, very forceful. But very much a wealthy socialite type."

Moving closer to the sign in desk, he stares at the woman sat there, watching the receptionist for the moment before looking back at Astrid "No. I'm pretty sure i'd feel really bad abandoning you here." He glanced around "Seeing as it's the worst place to be stuck at." Swallowing, he smiled at them, giving a nod "I'm afraid you're stuck with me for the time being."

a calm wash of relief as they’re listening to his words, feeling better that they weren’t the only one that was lost in some . . city where people were into their groups, were selective about the ones they wanted to be around. truthfully, astrid never really understood it, considering that they’ve always been so wary of people & how they were all connected to the same people. “ yeah, something like that. or you know, you could always just –, ” a shrug, trying to find the right words that would make sense. “ be alone, there’s no harm in that, either. ” astrid hums, actually coming to terms with things : that they like being alone, however, sometimes, it was nice to let someone in. whatever it could turn into, astrid was attentive of what really was going to happen if anyone did attempt to hurt them.

“ if you ask me, that all gets annoying. there’s no reason for people to show off. & if they do, it’s become a thing. i hate that, the fact that people have to prove to others, ” head shakes in disapproval, scoffing light at the mere idea of it all. astrid knows that he’s shy, but, he really has no need to be, not anymore. they’ve lessened their anger, giving all of this another shot in the dark, that can’t be too bad, right? “ you do? i bet they look amazing. i’ve never seen any sculptures that weren’t . . you know, old & decrepit. ” chuckle slips out from their lips, a shift – just, slightly before they’re back to their old posture, keeping themselves intact of things. “ then, i can’t wait to see your artwork. i’ll even give it a rating. ” they’re joking around, wanting to keep things flowing between the pair.

astrid knows the disappointment of being around people, of choosing to give others a shot & it gives them nothing but emptiness, but hurt – that’s not what they wanted, not at all. it’s gotten to the point where they’ve gotten distant from others, disappearing in the most convenient of times, having people ask around : if only things were better for them, right? if only astrid wore nothing but rose colored glasses, ignoring the red flags people had, they’d have people around them. “ people are just like that. they find something to judge a person on & suddenly, everyone’s against you, ” they respond, speaking from experience, allowing their eyes to glance away for a moment, sucking in a breath. mentally hating themselves for mentioning light of such things. “ if only we were as smart as she was, right? things would be better. ” but, would it? would astrid feel fulfilled because the wheel of hurt was gone? or would they feel the same?

astrid takes his words well, nodding their head silently, soon going back to their normal demeanor, the one they had before subtly venting to the other. they didn’t mean to, it came out, at the wrong time. “ i’m sure we won’t get into another accident, if anything, i can put my hands on the wheel, make sure nothing bad goes on. ” they’re replying, feeling bad if they managed to get into an accident in his car, then they’d both have to be treated. “ it’s what my professors taught me. to always, always check my sources. or else it would just seem like i’m cheating or something, ” spoken in casual tones, astrid’s wanting to go back to that jovial behavior of theirs, before they were thinking too much of things.

“ a date, ” astrid repeats, obviously feeling good in their body to say it confidently, eyes shaken his way, wondering what he was thinking about. perhaps, a time to actually go over? if that were the case, any time would be most appropriate. “ i know . . i –, for some reason, you actually make me feel comforted, in a way. is that weird? i mean . . we’re strangers, but i feel close to you than i do anyone else, ” were they rambling? speaking out loud? was it going to get them into more trouble than before? “ got it. how about this weekend? i’m actually free. & we can make it a home dinner or something . . i’ll make everything, you don’t have to worry about it. ” astrid’s finding themselves in a shy demeanor, cursing internally for being so forward. “ coffee & tea, it is. ” speaking in a more calmer tone, the bundle of nerves out of their way.

astrid’s entertained by the thought of zombies, another chuckle seems to come out of their mouth at the thought of it, secretly wanting to debate with the other. “ well, the zombies we see in movies are generally, you know, like – mutated ones or whatever they do for experimentation, ” much like resident evil, they want to counter, but don’t. in terms of not wanting to seem like a goddamn smart alec, astrid places their intelligence to the side, for a while. furrowing brows at his sentence, wondering why people wanted to yell at him – was it a thing people he came across did? treated him like a punching bag? if that was the case, astrid wouldn’t do that, they wouldn’t even think to do that, in fact. “ why do people like to yell at you? ” they’re questioning, wanting to get to that part of the conversation, seeming a little bit concerned, worried, in fact. did he think they were doing that beforehand? sure, astrid was angry, but not angry enough to raise their voice at him. “ hm – ?? ” astrid goes, somewhat confused in his jumbled sentence, however, still taking note of it. did he . . think otherwise? was that too forward of them? to admit that they were openly flirting with him?

“ i know a few people in law enforcement, ” musing, completely & utterly zoned into the words explained from the man, nodding their head in reply for a moment. truth was, astrid knew a lot of people in law enforcement, though, not wanting to associate themselves with them, astrid wanted to be separate from it all, actually. “ … oh, i’m sorry. ” a downcast expression on their face, contemplating on what would make him feel better – not much, seeing how they were in the venting part of it all. a thing astrid wasn’t good at, which was why people left their life, & they don’t blame them for doing so. “ so . . you just – stay home? live your life the way it is? ” they’re not judging, they could never. astrid wants to know so much more about him, considering how they’ve gotten this far. “ what happened? if you don’t mind me asking . . ” they’re going, aching to hear everything, this wasn’t like them, however, it made them want to learn more.

“ a woman born from a high status, i can respect it. ” as they were taught, to respect their elders, no matter who they were. if it were a stranger, someone on the street – even their own family, astrid knew better than to scold someone from where they came from, if they had money or not. astrid almost feels bad for asking questions, for seeming like they were interrogating, they weren’t. this is how they were if someone truly intrigued them. “ yeah? promise you won’t drive away or something? ” another playful jab, astrid’s turning gaze to smile at him.

[cbsxreader]

Potentially,, CBS with a demon S/O?

Sure!

(Btw his S/o hides the fact that they're a demon at first)

Christian with a demon S/o

He found it odd that his S/o was happy to help him in massacres, but never seemed to engage in the violent acts themselves, but didn't mind it.

That is, until he found himself heavily injured and cornered by a gang, who had seen him as a threat to their power over the streets.

Just as the gang leader was about to finish Christian off, his S/o calmly grabbed the leader's wrist, seemingly having appeared out of nowhere.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Their calm voice stood out from the silence.

"Pfft. And what are you gonna do, get me back howme and tuck me intwo bwed with a wittwe kiss?" The gang leader mocked with a pout.

"That doesn't sound so bad compared to what I'm about to do." They answered, voice suddenly not sounding so soothing anymore.

With a twirl of their finger, the gang members' necks turned a full 360° degrees, killing them.

The group leader watched as the dead members got puppeteered mid-air around him, terifingly chanting, as their limp limbs flailed around.

After deciding when it had been enough trauma for the leader, Christian's S/o scared the man away with a wide, sharptoothed grin.

Christian was in shock, all this time, his S/o didn't kill anyone because they literally had to lift a finger and the job would be done.

He worried that his S/o might drag him down to Hell, but they fixed his injuries and explained that they came to earth to live a more simple life.

After that day, Christian started treating them more like an equal, rather than someone below him.

He is honestly mesmerised by his S/o's power and the thought, that they could have chosen some other demon with powers as their partner, but they chose him instead, makes him feel truly loved.

Christian encourages his S/o to be in their demon form in private, which makes them happy.

He often asks them questions to pass the time, since they're kind of all-knowing.

"If you're a demon, that means there's a God and Devil, roight?"

"Yes, there is."

"So, Hell does exist...which ring will they put me in?"

"Either Wrath or Pride, we'll see."

His S/o ends up saving him numerous times during his rampages, due to him not being careful.

Basically, from just a happy couple, the pair becomes a power couple and love eachother even more.

(Also the higher power thing definetly made Christian think differently about being submissive in bed.)

[razorblade180]

Home Debate

Yujin:I think I figured out why you’re so cool.

Carmine:*doing sit ups* Why’s that?

Yujin:Your universe must be filled with despair and dread. Days are long and nights feel longer. Humanity is constantly on the edge and is forced to adapt or perish like petals in the wind...

Carmine:*stops*.......My universe is fine and enjoying a post Salem world. I mean are grimm are a bit rough but there’s no shortage of huntsman. We’re thriving.

Yujin:Oh....... I expected some type of postal apocalyptic scene. I bet it’s still rougher than mine.

Carmine:You have a cult in your world. That’s easily more of threat than my world is dealing with.?

Yujin:Wow, why is my world so rough!?

Carmine:At least the racism in your world has gone down a lot. My Blake is still making strides.

Jael and Sienna:Our situation is still lame! Faunus Rights will be televised!

Lucas:That’s a problem still? Pfft My mom ended that years ago and grimm aren’t a huge problem. Looks like my universe is the best.

Nick:Ummm are the gods in your universe?

Everyone:You have gods!?!?

Valerie:And magic, checkmate.

Summer:Yeah!!!!!! Wait, all of you are still godless?

Tenzen:Ours never really came back.

Carmine:We didn’t summon them.

Lucas:Oh my mom’s team murdered ours.

Everyone:.......

Lucas:Is that not normal?

Jacquelyn:No sweetie. That’s pretty metal though.

Lucas:Huh, I guess my universe is just different then. Objectively I think mine is still the best.

Yujin:False! Where’s your Adam!?

Lucas:Dead...

Yujin:Ha! Ours is alive and reformed!

Jacquelyn:With badass kids and a wife.

Jael and Sienna: Hell Yeah!!!!!! Your Blake is whack!

Lucas:Hey! My mom is great and clearly cool enough to bring peace with the help of her amazing husband.

Valerie:Yet they couldn’t bring magic to the worlds.

Nick:Because Weiss is the better wife for Jaune!

Yujin and Carmine:That’s a bold statement sir.

Summer:It’s a good one though. Our dad was strong enough to slay a dragon.

Yujin:Same, also he helped murder Cinder with the help of Ruby.

Carmine:Weak! Him and Ruby stared Salem down in a heated leaders vs leader fight.

Lucas:Everyone helped kill the gods but it’s still a story no one else has.

Tenzen:I think we can all agree on that the fact Ren and Nora’s love transcending universe makes them the best relationship.

Valerie:Valid!

*everyone ignoring them*

Carmine:All I’m saying is since I can beat any kid here so it looks like Jaune’s genes reaches its full potential with Ruby. That’s life.

Jacquelyn:I like how you said “strongest kid”

Carmine:*red* I’m just saying it could go either way between us. I acknowledge how strong you are.

Jacquelyn:You intimidate me too.*hugging her*

Valerie:There’s one thing the arc kids all have in common for sure.

Tenzen:They all got that arc stubbornness?

Valerie:Yeah, it’s pretty cute. Then you got the two wild children.

Jacquelyn: *holding back Jael and Sienna*

Sienna:Adam help formed a whole black ops division!

Jael:He’s saved Blake’s life too before!

Lucas:I’m sure your Adam is fine, but my world is still better.

Jael and Sienna: *clawing the air*

Tenzen:Yeah......still cute though.

Valerie:Most definitely!

[d-c-it]

Meet Lust

Summary: Lust thinks its unfair Remus gets to hang out with everyone and he doesn’t. Deceit said not to bother Thomas but he is stubborn. He is also petty and most importantly he is bored. Crack (ish) fic. 

Ships: None. (Roman get some smooches but they’re not in a relationship so it doesn’t count?)

Warnings: sympathetic deceit, sympathetic remus, a flirty oc, cussing, innuendo, caps, light making out. Some kinks are mentioned and threats of castration.

I can’t explain.

.

Patton was walking down the stairs, heading to the kitchen when he spotted someone on the living room’s couch.

‘Oh, hey kiddo…?’ when the person turn around all he caught was a cheshire grin before he let out a loud shriek and bolted towards the stairs again.

Mid run he saw Virgil open his door with a worried look on his face, Patton however was too busy running for his life to even care to explain. He screamed all the way to his room and slammed the door behind him. Virgil was looking at morality’s door with a weird face when he heard the steps coming up the stair. Once he caught sight of who it was he let out an ‘Oh, hell no. Is too early for this shit.’ He slammed his door just as the mystery person started running towards him, making them crash against it, exclaiming ‘You guys are no fun!’ in a whiny voice.

‘What is the meaning of all this noise…?’ was the only thing Virgil heard, before putting his headphones on and drowning all the background noise. He internally wished Logan good luck.

‘Hot teach! Oh, I’m so glad you’re here!’ said their…guest? Clinging to Logan’s waist and rubbing his face on his stomach, making the logical side unable to move since he was supporting both of their weights.

‘Ah, this explains it.’

‘Daddy was so rude to me! He didn’t even say hi! and Virgin Mary shut the door on my face!’ Logan squinted at the not-quite-stranger. ‘I didn’t do anything!’ complained the other.

‘Felix, where is Deceit?’ asked Logan, making the other let go of him immediately, which was a bad sign. ‘Felix?’ he received only mumbled words as an answer. ‘What was that?’

‘I might or might not have locked him in his room?’ said Felix, pouting. The logical side studied the other, playing with his hands as he stood there, looking all the shades of guilty.

‘May I dare to ask why?’ said Logan, fixing his glasses, Felix’s eyes unfocused at the action but Logan was quick to bring him back from whatever he was thinking by snapping his fingers in front of his face. The other shook his head, coming back to his senses.

‘He let Remus go out, hot teach! Remus!’ whined the other. ‘Before me! I just want to have some fun too!’

‘Right now Thomas is not in the best state of mind to deal with you, I’m sure that’s the reason Deceit hasn’t let yo- are you mocking me?’ he stopped mid-sentence, as he became aware Felix was imitating him while mouthing what he was saying in a childish manner. The other shook his head to deny the statement. Logan sighed yet again. ‘I’ll just go find Deceit.’ He then walked towards Virgil’s door to ask him to take care of the problem child for a little while. He didn’t even get to knock on the door before he heard him exclaim from the inside.

‘Don’t even think about it!’ Logan deadpanned, looking back at Felix, who shrugged innocently. Logan looked towards Patton’s door next but shook his head before heading towards Romans who was probably still asleep as Thomas was up all night working on a video.

He suddenly felt the tug of their host calling, closing his eyes and grunting as Felix, next to him, squealed in delight. Great, he thought, as he was forced to sink down and appear in Thomas’s living room.

‘Hey, Logan. I-‘Thomas stopped himself as the logical side raised a hand.

‘Before you start, I already have an idea of what’s going on and I’m afraid you aren’t going to like it.’

‘Uh… what do you-?’ started asking the brunette when a figure appeared in Virgil’s place at the stairs.

‘AHHHHHH THOMAS!’ jumped the figure, extending his arms as if trying to grab Thomas and hug him.

‘GAHH!’ was their host natural response. Logan made a gesture with his hands as if to say ‘See what I meant?’ Felix seemed to be vibrating in place. ‘Who-? ARE THOSE LEATHER PANTS!?’

‘Ah? OH!’ exclaimed Felix, looking at his attire. ‘Yes! They absolutely are! You like them?’ he said, making provocative poses. Next to him, Logic massaged his temples.

‘No! I-I would never wear something like that!’ exclaimed Thomas, horrified.

‘You should though! You have a great ass! You should own it!’ insisted the other.

‘He literally owns it.’ Was Logic’s confused contribution.

‘DID SOMEONE SAY ASS’ they all heard, just as the duke appeared behind the TV looking very interested.

‘Oh, god. No.’ murmured Thomas.

‘Get out, tentacle porn! This is MY moment!’ both Thomas and Logic made awkward faces at that.

‘Tentacle porn!’ cackled Remus, hugging his morningstar to his chest. ‘That’s a new one! I love it!’ in despite of how angry he wanted to look, Felix laughed a little.

‘Right? I think it suits you~’ he flirted, before he heard Logan’s cough.

‘What is going on…?’ whispered Thomas to the logical side.

‘Well, to put it simple… that’s another one of your sides.’ He said, fixing his glasses.

‘Ugh, I love when you do that! Is so s e x y, hot teach!’ exclaimed the new side, leaning into the railing and doing a weird thing with his eyelashes. 

‘He’s ah…Lust.’ He coughed, blushing a little.

‘Wh-?’

'Let's talk about sex baby, let's talk about you and me, let's talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be, let's talk about sex~'

'come on, do it, uh huh~'

'My name is Felix, but you can call me tonight, hot stuff.' said Lust, winking and making Thomas's mouth go ajar. There was a moment of silence.

'You do realize you just flirted with yourself, right?' said Logan, while Remus wheezed in the background.

'Well, he seems to need a bit of self love… not gonna lie.' defended himself the lustful side.

'Look, guys… I just wanted to talk to Logan and Patton for a little bit so if you don’t mind calling him up…?' offered Thomas.

'Yeah, no. He won’t show up as long as Felix is here.' stated Logan.

'Why not?'

'Daddy seems to be a little afraid of good ol’loving…which is ironic considering he is your heart!' giggled Felix. High fiving Remus.

'What about Roman? Virgil?' pleaded Thomas, clearly not prepared to deal with two dark sides at the same time.

'I’m afraid Roman is still sleeping and Virgil was pretty adamant in being left out of this.'

'Shit.'

'The smartest course of action would be finding Deceit…'

'I’m barely dealing with two dark sides and you want to bring another one of them!?'

'Well…'

'Excuse me! I am no dark side! Roman is a jerk with a stick up his-'

'Butthole!' exclaimed Remus happily.

'Now that’s where I want all the di-'

'STOP, oh God just STOP!' yelled Thomas, covering his ears.

'What is it, Thomas? Feeling a little…horrrrny?' said the lustful side, making Thomas cry out.

'That’s it.' shook his head Logan, done with everything. He raised his hand and suddenly a very disgruntled Roman appeared in Patton’s spot.

'This BETTER be good, Logic.' grunted creativity. ‘You interrupted my beauty sleep.’

'Oh, darling you don’t need any~' purred Lust, making the prince jump in place and shy away from the compliment. Thomas frowned.

'Didn’t you just called him a jerk?' Roman gasped.

'That is in the past! Why don’t you come over here, papacito? ¡Quiero matarte a besos!' exclaimed Felix in spanish, making Roman giggle.

'Do not let that happen...' said Logan, looking at Thomas. 'Roman, you’re on charge while I’m gone… I sure will regret that later…I’ll go get Deceit.'

'Wait! Logan!' exclaimed Thomas. 'Why cant I just summon him or something?' staring at his logical side with a look that clearly spoke please don’t leave me alone with them. But Logan wasn’t having any of it.

'If Deceit was available, you wouldn’t have to deal with this at all.'

'Uh?'

'Deceit tends to hold the others back as long as he can, he is your self-preservation after all.'

'Deceit…does that…for me?'

'Well, of course, Deceit is very akin on protecting you Thomas, even from yourself. I thought that was clear.' He coughed. 'I must be going. Roman.'

'Uh!'

'Do not, engage with Lust.'

'Pfft, who do you take me for?' Logan squinted at him as he sunk down. There was another minute of silence.

'So, about those kisses?~'

'Are you kissing his butthole?'

'I mean if he asks nicely?'

Roman and Thomas looked at eachother for a short terrifying moment.

.

As he sunk down, Logan appeared in the mindscape's living room and headed to the rooms hallway. Just as he passed by Virgil's room, it opened.

'Is the coast clear?' he whispered.

'Which one? You need to be more specific.' answered Logan, still walking.

'Ugh, I meant, is that nymphomaniac still around?' grunted Virgil, walking right behind Logan, as if hiding of potential threats.

'Nymphomaniac is a term used only on fe-' the logical side interrupted himself at the look the anxious side was giving him. 'Right, no. The coast, as you say, isn't clear. In fact, Remus decided to show up.' he didn't miss the shiver in Virgil's body. 'and they are now in the presence of Thomas, Roman is supervising…'

'They are WHAT!?' yelled Virgil, his loud scary voice filling the hallway, showing his uneasiness.

'I know what you're thinking, I'm just on my way of freeing Deceit from Lust's little stunt before anything goes… uh, he's gone. Very well, Roman was going to need a little help anyway.

As he got closer to the yellow door at the less iluminated part of the hallway, Logan could hear noises coming from it. His best bet was that Deceit was trying to get out. As he struggled with the handle Logic discovered he was right.

Just when he managed to open the door Deceit pulled it the other way, which ended up with them both on the floor, Logan on top of Deceit while the former complained.

'Can you not get off!?'

'I apologize, I was only trying to asist-'

'Save it, I don't need to castrate certain someone.'

'I think that's a bit…harsh' said the logical side as he watched Deceit sink down.

.

When they appeared it was to utter chaos. Virgil was yelling at Remus about something they couldn't make sense of because both were using their loud voices. Virgil was in his usual place, replacing Felix in the staircase. Thomas was curling up into a ball on the floor and Felix… Yup. Felix was making out with Roman in the place Patton usually stood. Logan coughed slightly, noone paid him any mind. He looked beside him at Deceit, who was looking pissed ™, and offered him the chance to interrupt.

'You better shUT UP' Logan flinched, massaging his ear. He had never heard Deceit's loud voice and would rather not be present when he happened to use it again. However, it worked wonders.

All the sides instantly stopped doing what they were doing. Virgil flunged himself to the other side of the railing and Remus hid behind his morningstar. Felix jumped out of Roman's arms where he was clinging like a koala and Roman held up his arms as if he had being catch by the police. Both completely disheveled.

Logan sent Roman a look, the prince looked sheepish. Felix however, was as pale as one could get. Thomas stood up, holding his head with one hand.

'I am so glad to see you guys.'

'You.' hissed Deceit, the lustful side left out an eeep sound. 'Are so not dead.' he realized he didn't had his hat and he crossed his arms.

'hahahah Dee! What a surprise!'

'Why weren't you here earlier!?' yelled Virgil, he received a glare from Deceit, who normally portrayed himself as a very calmed person (?).

'This idiot didn't locked me up in my room!'

'Someone's in trouble!~' singsonged Remus.

'Shut up, Remus.' whispered Felix.

'I think its totally your place to shut him up.' hissed again Deceit, eye twitching. Lust inmediatly sealed his lips and made a gesture of locking them up. 'To your room.' said the yellow side.

'Bu-'

'To. Your. Room.' Felix pouted and crossed his arms, but started to sink out inmediatly. Of course not before winking towards Roman one last time.

The moment Lust was out of sight, Patton popped up.

'Whew, that was a close one!' he exclaimed, receiving all sort of expressions from the others.

'Well, I believe that's my cue to leave. Remus, if you please…'

'For sure, double D!. Now I wouldn't miss that carnage for anything! Bye~'

To everyones surprise Remus sank down without putting off a fight. Everyone turned to Deceit who was dusting his cape.

'I am not sorry for that, Thomas. It didn't get out of hand.' said Deceit, looking up. 'It won't happen again.' he started to sink down when Thomas called for him.

'Deceit!' murmured Thomas.

'Yes?' he said, raising an eyebrow.

'Uh, Logan kinda told me you keep the others at bay…?'

'Oh, he didn't said that, did he?' Logan nodded.

'Well yes…and well… Tha…nk you? I don't think I've apreciated what you do enough.' Deceit looked at him surprised, he started to blink really fast and then huffed.

'It's not like I prohibit them to come up here, I merely entretain them so they don't come up here and unsettle you when you're not… in the right mood.' he said, forgetting to lie, without looking at Thomas. 'It hasn't been harder recently, as I have help.' he turned to glare at virgil, who look the other way.

'Exactly, thank you Deceit. For looking out for me.' Thomas smiled at the deceitful side. The yellow side surprised everyone again by blushing.

'Whatever.' he hissed as he sunk down. 'I gotta castrate someone now, if you excuse me…'

'Isn't that a bit harsh…?' murmured Patton.

'Don't worry. They'll grow back.' he said, making everyone shiver. 'Oh, and Roman?'

'Uh?'

'You should clean off the lipstick you have all over your face.' was the last thing he said before he disappeared from sight.

'What!?' yelled Roman, rubbing at his face frantically. 'Is it off? Is it off!?'

'You still have a little bit over here…?' said Virgil, pointing all of Roman's face, much to the other's dismay.

'Alright, I believe I was called to deal with something and that something isn't here anymore so I'll go take all of this thing off. Bye~' and like that, the prince, who didn't have anything on his face in the first place, was gone too.

'I don't understand what happened, Logan.' started Thomas. 'One second there was… uh… Felix, flirting endlessly, Remus kept screaming nonsense but Roman didn't seem to listen or care and the then, Virgil appears and kicks Felix off the stairs-'

'This is my spot, ok!?'

'Of course it is kiddo! We should circle that out!' finger gunned Patton. Logan sighed.

'... And then they're both kissing and touching in places I don't want to think of because believe me watching myself do those things to… myself, wasn't something I needed.'

'Well, we can't blame Roman for that kiddo. Lust tends to be very… convincing.'

'What do you mean…?'

'Just as Virgil has his loud voice and Remus has his…'

'Screech.' offered Virgil.

'... Screech. Lust has a…'

'Sinful.' offered this thime Patton, shivering.

'... Luring voice.' it is impossible for any of us to resist it.' he said, fixing his glasses. 'We are, however, less susceptible to it than Roman.'

'Oh...I see.'

'Deceit is practically immune to it, since he can lie to himself, then Logan, then me, then Patton…' listed Virgil. Patton whined.

'He got me bad last time…'

'Again, nothing to be ashamed of Patton.'

'What about Remus?' Thomas asked, receiving a deadpan from everyone. 'Right, never mind.'

'How are you feeling now, Thomas?' asked Logan, eyebrow raised.

'Way better, this was just…wild.' answered their host.

'It seems that Deceit has everything under control again.' nodded logic.

'It was very nice of you to thank Deceit like that, kiddo. He was so happy! I know we don't show him much love...or at all! Maybe I can make him some waffles!'

'He likes chocolate waffles…' whispered Virgil.

'Awww, alright! I'll make us all chocolate waffles! See ya, kiddo!' exclaimed Patton, sinking down.

'Bye, dad.' smiled Thomas, before a sudden thought crossed his mind, making him frown. 'Wait a second, does Felix calls him Daddy for…?'

'Yeah, he does.'

'A correct assumption.'

'Ugh.'

.

[goodbyekillingharmony]

What Are You  Feeling? ~ Irumatsu - Femslash Feb

a.n it’s femslash feb and you bet your ass that this worthless gay would write some epic lesbos. im still finalizing the ship list, but in the meantime, enjoy my favorite wlw ship in the entire dr franchise as a starter ;)

Sometimes all you need is a little push. We can miss out on events that can drastically alter our future, just by not taking action. However, it does not always begin as something that seems life-changing. The beginning, no matter how small it may seem at first, always is the catalyst for something new.

“You can go on ahead, Shuichi! Let me just finish eating first.”

“A-Alright. Call me if you need anything.”

After some hesitation, Shuichi left the dining hall, waving at Kaede who started waving back and watched as he left the area. She looked back around the hall and spotted that the dining area was nearly empty, save from one Miu Iruma, Ultimate Inventor. She averted her eyes away from her meal, and onto the other blonde female. Kaede, being as observant as she his, noticed little nuances about Miu’s appearance that were hard to detect from only a simple glance.

Her hands were always covered with something: paint, oil, glue, you name it. Her eyes always seemed to perk up whenever she tested her inventions, almost like a child in a candy store. And the ever-constant look of exhaustion present on her face, especially her eyes since they almost always had bags under them.

Akamatsu can admit, she was concerned for Miu, more so than she usually is for her other classmates, except maybe Shuichi. Even though Iruma seemed to hate the pianists guts, there was this curiosity that she couldn’t shake off regarding the inventor.

This finally seemed like Kaede’s chance to get her questions answered about Iruma. She was not going to let this opportunity slip by.

She slapped one of her cheeks and got up to sit next to Miu, however, Miu was quick to notice and, before long, started laughing.

“Woa, Kaediot! I didn’t know you had a crush on me! You’re totally fucking thirsty!”

“What the hell gave you that idea?”

“E-Eeee! I-I just noticed t-that you were looking at me, a-and…”

Miu’s demeanor changed in what seemed like a millisecond. The girl was now trembling as tears threatened to escape her eyes. Kaede immediately regretted her actions as she rushed over to Miu to apologise.

“S-Shit! Miu! I-I didn’t mean to upset you! I-I’m sorry!”

“What the fuck, Bakamatsu! Y-You think I’m going to forgive you just like that?”

“N-No, but I-”

“I don’t need apologies from s-some t-trashy skank who always keeps her boytoy on a leash!”

This was going to be harder than first anticipated, Akamatsu thought. Miu’s personality was a little too much for Kaede, and now, it was definitely going to be a bigger challenge. However, she took in a deep breath and decided to avoid being direct for now and make due with what she can now at the moment.

“A-anyway… How’s you day been so far?”

“What?! You’re not even going to respond?!”

Kaede sighed and closed her eyes. She figured Miu hated being ignored and would respond eventually. The hall was completely silent for a few seconds, before Kaede’s hypothesis was proven correct. Iruma broke the silence, however, her voice was much less aggressive and Akamatsu could swear she heard fear in the girl’s voice.

“I-It’s been alright…Didn’t really get a lot of sleep last night though. This fucking invention kept fucking up and I ended up having to go to the warehouse to get extra supplies.”

“Ah! Were you the one we saw at the warehouse yesterday then?”

Akamatsu recalled in her memory that when her and Shuichi were exploring the academy, they saw a figure near the warehouse entrance, seemingly snooping around quite stealthy. At least, until Kaede caught a glimpse.

“I-I uhm…”

Miu’s face became even paler as she was starting to fidget with her fingers. If she seemed terrified a minute ago, now she looks like she's a death row inmate who has to speak her final words.

“M-Miu! T-That was really dangerous! What if someone tried to attack you?”

“E-Ehh…?! P-Pfft… I'd just a-attack them back…!”

“Yeah, right! M-Miu… You could have actually gotten yourself seriously hurt. Everyone is incredibly tense right now and who knows what would have happened if someone walking by became incredibly suspicious.”

“You're not my fucking mom, you whore! I-I could have handled myself easy!”

Kaede, once again, closed her eyes. The intent, this time, was different. She couldn't make heads or tails about Miu's behavior. No matter how much she tried to figure the girl out, she would completely flip flop her personality to one that was more overwhelming than the last.

…

No! She was going to try and get closer to Miu, no matter how hard she has to try. If she wants to escape this academy, then she needs to get everyone on board.

With new found confidence, Akamatsu opened her eyes with a fire in her eyes. She wrapped her arms around the inventor, holding her in an embrace. Needless to say, Iruma was a tad concerned.

“A whore? Me? Hah, nice try!”

“W-What the fuck, Bakamatsu…! L-Let go of me, you fucking-- u-uhh…”

“Lesbian? I know!”

“What the hell are you trying to pull…?! Are you coming onto me or what?”

“Nah. I just wanted to ask you a question and I didn't know how else to get your attention.”

“If you wanted to ask me a fucking question, why didn't you say so earlier?!”

“Because I didn't know if you'd even talk to me.”

“W-Whatever… Let go of me and then I'll answer whatever the fuck you wanted to ask me.”

This was Kaede's chance. This one question.

((“Don't blow it, Akamatsu… Let's get our answers!”))

Kaede took in a deep breath and spoke with a shaky voice, trying to formulate the question in a way that wouldn't potentially hurt Miu.

“I-I was just wondering w-why you don't sleep that much…? L-Like I know you work on your inventions, but is there some other reason…?”

She was expecting a comeback. Or some kind of insult. Instead, Miu’s face dimmed as she sharply inhaled and folded her hands as she looked at Akamatsu and answered, her voice completely stern and serious.

“I don't know why you care so much, Kaediot. But, it's nightmares.”

“N-Nightmares…?”

“I want to get out of here, y'know. And with the threat of being killed… W-Who the fuck wouldn't be d-desperate?!”

“M-Miu…”

“You have your little dog to follow you around all the damn time while I got no one. I'm used to it honestly. But it sure fucking sucks, doesn't it?”

“M-Miu… I had no idea.”

“Nobody does. I mean, I still don't know how you can trust an-”

“If you want, we can try to become friends and escape this place together.”

“K-Kaediot…”

“I can tell you're scared and I feel bad for not noticing until now. But, I promise I can stay by your side as long as want! And we'll escape this place, all of us! Together!”

“Y-You won't leave me, right?”

“Mhm, nope! I believe in you, Miu! I believe that you're an amazing person and you definitely deserve to escape! So, I'll stay by your side. With me, with Shuichi, with everyone!”

“H-How can you be so sure?! W-What if you-?”

“I promise nothing bad will happen to me, Miu. And I won't let anything bad happen to you! S-So, what do you say?”

“You're too goddamn naive for your own good, Kaede. B-But fine, if it makes you feel safe, I guess I could go along with it.”

“That's all I needed to hear!”

The two girls started to talk about the things they'd do after escaping the academy. Their hopes and aspirations. And Miu seemed to enjoy herself for once.

She was happy.

She fell asleep easy tonight, for the first time in what seemed like eternity.

All thanks to Kaede.

[feelingfredly]

The Fox Guards the Wolf

Part Sixteen

Counting Chickens Before They’ve Hatched

“What do you mean he’s gone?”

Kisuke turned slightly in his seat and cocked his head as he looked at Tessai. “Did the words somehow change meanings when I wasn’t paying attention?”

Tessai raised a hand before the Director could explode. “What Urahara-san is trying to say,” he said calmly, “is that after his meeting with Okura Kagetaka, Kurosaki Ichigo packed his belongings and vacated his Onmitsukido supplied apartment without leaving any contact information. He has not, as far as we’ve been able to discern, moved back into the apartment he had before the incident at the coffee house, or back into his family’s home.”

The Director frowned at Kisuke’s carelessly swinging geta, each slap of it against the bottom of his foot cranking the man’s temper another notch higher. Kisuke kept the rhythm constant, a small aggression in lieu of the larger ones he would prefer.

“I thought you said he was in danger from Okura?” The Director pinched the butt of the cigarette in his mouth and pulled a long drag from it, blowing it towards the men across the desk from him.

Kisuke stilled. “He is still in danger from Okura, and it isn’t as if I could stop him.”

Kawasaki Ryō had been Director for as long as Kisuke had been in the Onmi. His methods had never changed, no matter what the world around him did, and he sneered at Kisuke’s denial.

“Sure.  And I’m Ultraman.” His lips twisted in a smirk as he sucked on his cigarette. “You brought him here to get Okura’s attention, and now that you have it you’ve sent the kid out as bait.  I didn’t think you had it in you anymore, Getaboshi.  It’s almost like the old days.”

Tessai shifted in his seat but didn’t say anything.

“Actually,” Kisuke said, snapping his fan open and waving it in counterpoint to his swinging sandal, “I didn’t.”  He raised an eyebrow at the man who’d become his second biggest concern. “Kurosaki signed a contract with Taka-chan that promised him more money than he’d seen in ten years as a med student or an entry level doctor and then he just…  left.  Stopping him, while probably in his best interests, would have been beyond my purview. He’d done nothing wrong, and his presence was strictly voluntary.”

The Director leaned forward and slapped his palms on his desk. “You’re telling me that you don’t have a line on him?  He really is just gone?”

Kisuke nodded, fanning himself as he watched the red creeping up his boss’s neck.

“What is wrong with you?  Have you lost your mind?”  He was getting into full rant mode. “That kid has been running loose in the building for almost two months now.  He’s had access to your labs.  To the other agents.  And you just let him go.”

Tessai made a small sound of disagreement. “It was his right to leave.  He was…”

Kawasaki exploded.  “I don’t give a damn what his rights are! You find that bastard and you bring him back.  I don’t care if you have to dust off your shibari skills to tie him up and drag his ass back, you get him back!”

Kisuke snapped his fan shut.  “I’m not going to just kidnap an innocent off the street on a whim.”

“You will do exactly that if I tell you too, Urahara-san.” The Director’s eyes were dark and angry. “The situation with Okura is your fault, and any of this…  all of this… is because you chased him away. He had the potential to be the best agent in the Onmitsukido, and your…”

“Morals? Unwillingness to target civilians? Regard for the law?” Kisuke didn’t even look at him as he spoke, but he could hear the offended intake of breath across the desk.  Pfft.  Kawasaki’s ego was as sensitive as Taka-chan’s.  Two insecure men with more power than sense.  It was no wonder they got along so well.

Kawasaki growled under his breath, his anger an almost palpable thing. Kisuke made a production of looking at a dry cuticle.

“Your regard for the law.” The words dragged over broken glass. “What a joke.  You know as well as I do that in the end you will do exactly what I tell you, or I will personally give Okura Kagetaka access to you, your research, and your precious little civilian.” He spat the last of the threat out like poison. “I think I could almost convince him to come back to us if I gave him that kind of welcoming present.”

Kisuke shifted in his chair and yawned delicately. “How lovely. It finally becomes clear.  It isn’t just me you’re willing to sacrifice to get what you want.”

Tessai stood up. “Director,” his voice was aloe on a burn, soothing and bland, “I quite understand your frustration with having lost contact with Kurosaki. Would it be appropriate for me to assign a team for surveillance of his known locations?”

Kawasaki unclenched his jaw, forcing his eyes away from Kisuke.  “Surveillance to start.  Once his location is known, I want him brought in.” He bared his teeth in a shark’s smile. “For his own safety of course.”

Tessai bowed briefly to both men.  “I will get right on that, then.”

As the big man left, the Director waved a hand for him to close the door behind him, leaving him an arm’s length from Kisuke.

It would be so easy to just break his neck, Kisuke thought.  It wasn’t the first time, and Kisuke was certain it wouldn’t be the last.  Other things needed his attention first, though.

“You wanted to say something else…  Director?”  He paused before the title, making his distaste clear. This man didn’t deserve his position, and Kisuke made no attempt to soften the cutting edge of his disapproval.

Yoruichi’s voice hummed in his ear.  Only two life-signs in the room, Kisuke.  Starting independent recording now.

Good.  Now he could get things moving without having to worry about Tessai.  No one else would be leverage in this fight.

“I did.” Kawasaki shook another cigarette out of his battered pack, trigger-calloused fingers making quick work of the action. “This thing with Okura has gotten out of hand.”

Kisuke pretended to misunderstand.  “I agree.  He has never publicly involved himself before, especially with a civilian. Clearly he is deteriorating.”

The Director blew a cloud of blue smoke.  “That’s not what I meant, and you know it.  I mean the snake.  Involving Mamushi. You are the one who is deteriorating.  You crossed a line, Urahara-san.”

Not exactly the tack he was expecting, but it supported his theory that there was a direct line of communication between Kawasaki and Okura. No one in Taka-chan’s circle would have been made privy to what happened.  He couldn’t afford for his weakness to become public knowledge.  Attacked in the security of his own center of operations? He would never give that information out.

Except to the Director, apparently.

“Hmmm. Pillow talk, Kawasaki-kun?” He gave a prurient little grin and crossed his legs, swinging his sandal again. “You must have hidden talents. I never pegged Taka-chan for sharing his little secrets, even during his afterglow, but then I never expected him to be attracted such an older man, either.”

Kawasaki surged to his feet, his desk squalling in objection as it gouged tracks in the tiled floor. “Shut your fucking mouth and listen for once, Ki-chan.” His face was purple, and he flung the lit cigarette at Kisuke, just missing his open neckline where it would have burned bare skin. “This is your last warning.  Stay away from Okura.  If you don’t—if I hear one fucking whisper about you following him, interfering with him, delivering a fucking letter to his building—I will make your life short, ugly, and miserable. And, just so we’re on the same page, consider anything that I might be able to do you to be in the cards for your little friend Kurosaki as well.”

He bared his teeth in a rictus of a grin.  “Do you understand me, Ki-chan? Think before you open that mouth of yours.  This is the only chance you’re going to get.”

Kisuke picked up the cigarette where it had landed in his lap and made a distasteful moue.  “You know that this,” he waved the white cylinder, “is going to be the death of you. You should know better at your age. I suppose, though, that they’re right. Old dogs really don’t learn new tricks, and you are definitely,” he reached across to the over-flowing ashtray on the Director’s desk and stubbed the ember out, “an old dog.  You’re lucky you’ve lasted in this game as long as you have. Have you considered what you’ll do after the powers-that-be decide that they need to drag the Onmitsukido into the 21st century?  If you’re not careful they’ll just take you out behind the building and put you out of your misery.”

Silence stretched between them, the Director’s hands clenching in fury on the desktop. Kisuke made a sympathetic sound.

“Such a shame, too.  After all your years of devoted service.” He looked at the older man through the shadow cast by the brim of his hat. “Maybe you could get a job working for Taka-chan. I’m sure he’d be happy to help you, even after you retire from the field.  Who needs contacts or leverage, hmm?  Loyalty is so much more important.”

Kawasaki scowled and jabbed a ragged-nailed finger in the air. “You know nothing about loyalty, you bastard. I’ve watched you for fifteen years.  Always thinking you know best.  Disregarding orders.  Breaking the chain of command any time it suits you. When the time comes, I’ll be happy to sign the kill order with your name on it.  Yours, Kurosaki’s, and your little friend Shihouin.  Give me a reason, Ki-chan.  One reason.  I’ll drop you so fast you won’t know you’re dead until you’re dining in Yomi.”

Kisuke planted both feet squarely on the floor, facing his old mentor.  It’s come to this.

“Have you been to the training rooms recently, Director-san?” His voice was light.  Harmless. “I hope that you have.  Keeping track of your subordinates’ skills is so important in these situations.  Knowing exactly what talents to match with what task.  Your newest batch of recruits is very different from the class I entered with.  Much more independently minded.  And, while they all have honed their physical skills, many of them have never even seen combat.”

Kawasaki glared, tired of the dance.  

Finally.

Kawasaki leaned forward, a look of almost delight on his face.

“Oh, I know you’ll kill some of them.  Maybe all of them. I don’t care.  That’s the thing you never understood.  I. Don’t. Care. Plus, it has the added bonus that I know killing all those so-called innocents will destroy you. I will send everyone from the senior agents down to the mail boy if I must. You are just one man.  You’ll screw up sooner or later, and I will be there to laugh as you bleed out. You with your convenient morals and your ridiculous belief that the Onmi exists for any reason but what I tell it to.  I know where all the bodies are buried.  No one will touch me.  You are out-gunned, out-classed, and out of time, Ki-chan.  Today is a new day.  Okura-san understands that.”

Kisuke tsked at him, rolling his eyes derisively. Such a drama queen.

“Taka-chan understands better than you do.  He understands that he has you in his pocket. He gives you scraps of power and keeps you on a leash.  You’re his very own pet Onmi Director.  I can’t even imagine the hard-on it gives him when you two get together.  Do you always kneel for him, or is that something he reserves for blowjobs?”

Kawasaki’s rage was incandescent.  “How dare you speak to me that way? I’ll kill you myself. But first, I’ll have you court-martialed.  How’d you like to be convicted of treason, Ki-chan?  And Kurosaki, too.  You can watch yet another innocent life be destroyed because you couldn’t keep your fucking mouth shut.” He almost smiled, but there were too many teeth. “I’ll ruin you first, and then I’ll have you killed. Then I’ll make your body a present to your protégé so he can take it home and piss on it. I think that will pretty much guarantee my retirement, don’t you?  How’s that for a new trick, you little bitch? Hmmm?”

“Not a new trick,” Kisuke answered blandly. “Hell, not even a new family to ruin.  You had Kurosaki Masaki killed.  Taka-chan told me you approved it personally.  Something about her connections to Mamushi’s lieutenant at the time.  One of the other convenient casualties of the turf war you two engineered.”

Kawasaki dropped back into his chair and grinned. “Ah, so good of you to remember. Killing her worked even better than we’d hoped.  And now, you couldn’t have done me a bigger favor than pulling Kurosaki Ichigo into the frame.  What better reason for you to turn on your old yakuza associates than a new young lover whose mother was killed in a turf war? Your friend Shihouin won’t like you going against her dear Uncle Mamushi, so you’ll have to kill her, too. Then, once it’s come out that you, an Onmi-trained assassin, have killed them both, it will start a new turf war, but this time it will be between the Onmi and the yakuza.  The gangs will target agents everywhere, and we will be then be able to take them out with impunity.  The branches will be decimated in weeks, leaving a very nice power vacuum. Then, the public—scared to death of the yakuza—will be thrilled to accept the assistance of the Okura keiretsu.  Such a respectable business, run by a retired civil servant who wants nothing more than to give back to the community that has given him so much.  In the end, you will be brought in and that will be the end of Getaboshi. The irony is wonderful, isn’t it?  It is practically poetic that your undoing will be the keystone of Okura-san’s success.”

“You can’t just kill me, though,” Kisuke said quietly, and Kawasaki chuckled at how much less confident he sounded.

“Oh, can’t I?” Kawasaki sat back, nicotine-stained fingers steepled.  “What if you tried to kill me?” He pulled a drawer open and laid his service pistol on the desk top. “It would be easy.  My word against yours.”

Kisuke snorted. “If I wanted to kill you, you’d be dead.”

Kawasaki nodded. “True.  You are a born killer.  Everyone knows that.  But that works to my advantage as well.”

The pistol disappeared back into the desk, and Kawasaki leaned forward and whispered conspiratorially.

“You are the greatest killer the Onmitsukido has ever trained.” His voice was oily. “No one will have any trouble believing that you managed to kill the old snake where so many others failed.  All I must do is convince them that after a decade of killing you’ve gone over the wall.  It wouldn’t be difficult. I have reams of documents proving that you have always had zero respect for the rules, and I have dozens of people willing to testify against you.  They will say anything I tell them to say.”  He lit another cigarette and dragged the smoke deeply into his lungs with a satisfied sigh.  “You’re trapped, Ki-chan. Even a Go master like you won’t be able to find a way out. Now, get out of my office,” the Director ordered, sneer firmly back in place. “I can’t wait until I never have to see your face again.”

Kisuke stood and stared down at the man, his face blank, before turning to leave.

“For once, something we agree on, Director,” he said.  He stopped at the door and looked back over his shoulder. “I will be happy to never see your face again.”

His lip pulled up slightly at the corner as he saw the Director’s expression fade to one of doubt.  He pulled the door open, and left, the seed of fear well planted behind him.

Yoruichi murmured in his ear. One life sign remains in the room.  Heartrate just spiked.

Kisuke smiled.

[philosophicalparadox]

Fanfic masterpost

I can’t add links to Tumblr anymore, but I can still direct your attentions, can’t I? 

For those of you who care (because DAMN my follower count has shot up recently; Thank you!) You can find me on Fanfiction . net under the name Kaze no Akatsuki. I do not post my fanfics on Wattpad (nor anything else for that matter) anymore because frankly, I don’t like the community. I am ALL for constructive critisism, will beg for it even, but even I only have so much patience for people who never have anything nice to say. I also, sadly, don’t post on AO3 though there’s not really a reason for that, I just have never visited the site, so I don’t know what to gauge of it yet. 

That said, here are the titles and summaries of some of my fanfictions if you ever want to check them out. I can’t post them directly here, due to Tumblr rules about word count, (my chapters are always no less than 4k words) as well as the fact that I don’t remotely trust their algorithm not to flag me. But I can redirect!

Note: I will NOT be posting the names/summaries of works that have been discontinued, are on hiatus, or are under revision. The only ones to appear here are completed or in-progress works. 

In the BLUE EXORCIST fandom: 

1. Captivity, an aimless kind of fanfic that just blows where the wind is taking it. I normally have some idea in mind, but this one is just sort of writing itself, if that makes sense. It focuses on Lucifer, Homare, and Beelzebub so far.

Summary:  An intelligence gathering experience forces Lucifer out of his comfort zone, in more ways than one. The threat of unholy war hangs in the air, but that isn't going to stop him from indulging in more...mortal, curiosities. A fic examining the relationship between Lucifer and his siblings, as well as, pressingly, his lieutenant. LuciferXHomare...mostly.

2. Unbecoming: A longer fic, in progress, which is my first ever attempt at dipping into the horror genre. And it is horror. I’m talking gore, lore, and more. If ever you wanted to get a good look at my (dark) interpretation of Mephisto’s demon side, this is the fic for you. Cannibalism included. 

Summary:  What happens when you put a big mind in a small box? A tiger in a cage with lambs? A demon in a room full of exwires? Lucifer wants to find out. Boredom is a demons constant companion, but even Mephisto can only take so much. How long before the demon loses it? A game of wills, wits, and psychological pressure has begun. In the game of chess, only one king can win. Checkmate. 

In the BLACK BUTLER fandom: 

1. Almost Human: The only oneshot I have ever wrote, and also the only T-rated fic I have, though I debated on that rating for a while. An introspective look, I guess, at Ciel (our Ciel) being haunted, literally, by his past. 

Summary:  When Ciel is plagued by visions of the late Vincent Phantomhive, he gets the feeling that his phantasmal father wants to tell him something. Unbeknownst to him, that 'thing' just so happens to have the potential to unravel the complex relationship he has with his demon butler - as well as reveal the darkest sides of himself.

In the HELLSING ULTIMATE fandom: 

1. Telepathic Heart: is THE longest fanfiction I have ever written, and it is complete (for now) with a sequel in the works. Note that it is AluSeras, though AluTegra is mentioned.

Summary:  Breathing some fresh life into an overused plot. Integra is mortal; there's nothing Alucard can do about it. (Not without risking the sanctity of the relationship he has with her anyway) And Mortals die. But sometimes, their ghosts just won't leave- and maybe turn up in some unexpected places. Mostly AluSeras, slight Alu-tegra, and Angst, because Alucard's a widow many times over.

And now, for the fics belonging to fandoms that are not a part of my blog, just in case you are interested in them:

In the SERAPH OF THE END Fandom:

1. Clip My Wings: I don’t actually know about the fate of this one, but I hope to continue with it. 

Summary:  Two friends, torn apart by time, space and species, now take refuge together with the outliers of the Moon Demon Company. It would seem all is saved, but Mika is not human, and he knows it - even if everyone else tries to forget. In the wake of their time spent together, will Yuu and the crew adopt a new attitude towards vampires? And what are the consequences of this? Anime-verse.

In the YU YU HAKUSHO fandom (which I highly recommend to my Blue Exorcist followers; if you know it, you will doubtlessly recognize the hints that are in Captivity): 

1. Words as Weapons: I haven’t updated this fic in so long, though it is still going. I merely have to get around to finishing the next chapter, which is easier said than done. Gosh I wish I didn’t always pick the most complicated character dynamics sometimes. 

Summary:  In which an unprecedented side effect of Yusuke's transformation threatens to either change his world entirely or leave it in a state of total devastation- though as long as Kurama and Hiei are there to pick up the pieces, each is equally as likely to happen. A slightly dark take on Yusuke's demon transformation, with a dash of Yaoi to add some contrast. YusukexKuramaxHiei.

I apologize now if this seems in any way promotional -- it’s not, I swear it! I just wanted my followers to know what to look for and where to find them. (pfft, like you can’t just see my profile, though I don’t think that’s an option open to guests. Hence why I’m putting it here!)

Look around, or don’t, up to you! And THANK YOU to every one who has reblogged, liked  or followed me of late. I appreciate it. ;p

[cargoshortsenjoyer]

The First~Cola-Tectives

{Hello cops and criminals to the first ever Cola-tective fanfic.! The idea was made by @yumyjamy, so check them out, and the story you’re about to read itself was written by me! So, get your regular/diet cola, some bacon, sit back, and enjoy the show! Also, this is EXTREMLY LONG.}

~~~

“Ahhh yes! Number one, here I come!” Eduardo was speed walking-okay, let’s face it, sprinting-towards the office. He had just gotten out of his car and was convinced he was going to win this year.

Every year, Edd had gotten the most number of cases solved in the entire department and got the honor; the best parking space and a plaque that said he was the best.

And he always rubbed Eduardo’s face into it.

So this year he had worked extremely hard, missed countless hours of sleep, and tried even harder to win this year. His girlfriend Laurel had even broke up with him due to the amount of time he was spending on these cases. It broke Eduardo’s heart, but the loss only pushed him to work even harder, not even allowing himself to think about his former lover.

So you can imagine what thoughts ran through his head when he saw that he had lost by a mere 3 cases.

“Haha! Guess who won, Eduardo!” Edd exclaimed, thus fulfilling the prophecy of him being a huge d*ck, “Me! I did!”

Eduardo was about to say something to him when Captain Connie and Lieutenant Mason came up to the both of them.

“Excuse me, am I interrupting something here?” The Captain asked, arms crossed over his dark blue police uniform, blond hair combed over to the side to create the illusion that his hairline wasn’t receding, even though no one was being fooled. He were a bit taller than the person next to him, Mason, who was a little skinnier and lighter, dirty blond hair cut a bit longer than everyone’s, with a pen over their ear.

“Nothing important.” Eduardo said, backing away from Edd. This isn’t over. He thought to himself, glaring at Edd as if he could make him hear that threat

“Yep. What’s up, my man?” Eduardo hated how causally Edd talked to the Captain. He’s not his brother or a best friend! He’s a colleague! One that usually only used him! Eduardo! He was Connie’s number one detective, not Edd!

“We have a fresh case ready for you. We’ll need to have you there in ten.” The Captain said, holding out the case file just between the two men while cringing at the greeting

“I’m on it!” The two detectives replied at the same time

“He handed it to me!” Eduardo said, and jerked the file away from Edd

“Actually, he handed it to me!” Edd grabbed the file again, and pulled

It was this close to turning into a tug-o-war until the Lieutenant Mason spoke up and stopped them.

“Why don’t you both work together?”

Eduardo and Edd stared at him in utter shock then rage.

“I’m never working with this idiot!”

“Why would I do that!?”

“I have standards!!”

“Can you two shut up!?” The captain shouted, turning heads all around the office. Edd tilts his head down a bit and tries to avoid eye contact with anyone while Eduardo closes his eyes and runs a hand threw his hair, “Now, I am ashamed of you two. The Lieutenant made an excellent point. You two are the most experienced and successful detectives out there. You two collaborating on this case would be extremely beneficial to not only the moral of everyone in this office, but also the public, for they would be safe from dangerous killers.”

“Are you saying that we’d have to do this more than once?” Eduardo looks horrified, as if he had just seen a 5ft tall spider

“We’ll see how this one works out. First, we’ll need to go to the crime scene. You’re little spat with each other cost us valuable time. Let’s go.”

~

They open the door and walk into the house, and see a huge mess and a room, policemen already on the scene, some detectives were there, too. A child and a man stood near the dead body, the both of them crying and hugging each other.

“Oh, hey, the legends are here!” Mark; a policeman; said, leaving Eduardo eternially grateful that the word legends had an ‘s’ at the end

“It looks like a robbery.” Edd states walking around the room, nearly tripping on a fallen lamp.

“Pfft, I could have guessed that.” Eduardo rolled his eyes.

“Eduardo.” Captain looked sternly at Eduardo, forcing said man to avert his eyes

Edd finally got to the child and man.

“Excuse me, who are you?” Edd said calmly

“I’m-i’m…” The child broke into sobs again, and clingged to their father. The father whispered a sorry and pulled away

“Hi, I’m Alastor, this is Altan, and that...was my wife, Mallory.” The man dabs a handkerchief to the corner of his eye as he turns away from the body

The body was lying on its back, a pair of scissors lodged in its throat, blood on its hands and around the body, on the table, and especially on the neck.

“We can only assume there was a struggle.” Lieutenant Mason said, reading from a small notebook with scribbled words about different cases on it’s pages, “We believe that due to the position the body is in and the amount of blood around it that the body was not moved post-mortem, there was a phone call at around 5 minutes after the death, and…” They flipped through a couple more pages, “and that’s about it right now.”

“I just...I loved her so much! Why would anyone do this?” Alastor cried out, “And for money!?”

“Actually it wasn’t a robbery.” Eduardo said, crossing his arms

“What do you mean it wasn’t a robbery?” Mason asked

“It means it wasn’t a robbery.” Eduardo repeated, rolling his eyes

“You know, you’re going to have to explain to us why you think that.” Connie said, one eyebrow raised, while Mason clicked their pen and opened their notepad again

Eduardo was already tired of this. I mean, he was used to people just sorta...trusting him. Not forcing him to explain himself, while that did make more sense. He was annoyed before they even got to the crime scene, and he was even more annoyed when he got there.

“Well, none of the drawers are open, the body’s pockets weren’t looked through, and it generally looks like nothing was stolen. Am I wrong?” Eduardo looks at Alastor and Atlan

“You’re right, actually, we couldn’t find anything missing.” Alastor said

“Well then. I guess that proves my-” Eduardo was cut off by - who else? - Edd

“Did your wife have any enemies, Alastor?” Edd asked, then mumbled to Mason, “Get your notepad ready.”

“Um, not that I know of.” Alastor said. Altan opened his mouth to say something, then closed it quickly, too fast for anyone to notice

“Well, maybe it was a someone you didn’t know, then.” Edd said

“Well duh! That’s what he just-” Once again. Cut off by Edd

“And maybe they didn’t know you.” Edd continued, glaring at Eduardo, which the other man gladly returned

“And maybe-” Eduardo was cut off by Edd. Again.

“And maybe-” Eduardo cut off Edd this time

“Listen to me, Edd-”

“No, you listen to me-”

“No, you-”

“You-”

“You-”

“You-”

“YOU-”

“WILL YOU TWO JUST SHUT UP AND ACT LIKE F*CKING ADULTS?!” The Captain’s face twisted into one of anger. He glared at the two men, who once again looked down in shame. Connie took in a breath to yell some more before realizing everyone in the room was staring at him. He was already warned about potentially losing his job because of his outbursts, and him yelling at the top of his lungs like that could not be good for his reputation. And it didn’t help that those two detectives brought out the worst in him separate, let alone together. He decided to do the only thing he could do.

“Um...Capta-” Mason started

“We’re going outside.” Connie was clearly trying to look calm though it somehow looked even more frightening

Edd and Eduardo, along with a happy-ish Mason who knew they finally weren’t the one in trouble, walked outside a little while until they were away from the crime scene and most people.

Connie takes a deep breath in as Edd and Eduardo brace for the worst, not-so secretly hoping the other would get fired.

“Why the f*ck do you two hate each other so much?” Connie’s hands were now out of his face and curled up into balls, his eyes shut tight, as if they might burst out if he opened them

“Um, Captain?” Mason asked, tucking his notepad safely in his jacket

“Not now, Lieutenant.” Connie said sternly

“But-”

“NOT NOW!” Connie yelled. A few easily-frightened birds flew out of the trees while the other braver ones just took a few steps back. Some people turned to stare but one look from the Captain sent them walking, though you could tell they were still trying to listen in

The Captain took another big sigh.

“See what you two do? Why do you idiots have to bring out the worst in me? Can’t you see that your actions directly affect the people around you? People like me?” A pause for effect, “My boss has already told me that another outburst could mean I lose my job!”

“Lose your job?!” Mason replied in shock, “But bossing people around is all you’ve ever known!!”

Connie shoots a glare at Mason, who backs down quickly, slouching and hoping they aren’t the one who’s yelled at next.

“You could lose your jo-”

“I’m not done yet!” Connie cuts Edd off, leaving Eduardo smiling. Edd should get yelled at once in a while! He deserved it in Eduardo’s book, especially since he’d been the one yelled at for pretty much his whole career, while Edd got to sit back and have some other, nicer guy as his boss. It made Eduardo so mad just thinking about it.

“You two lame-*sses better get your act together or I will make your life very f*cking hard. Understand?” The question was asked through gritted teeth, making it clear that the option ‘no’ was not an answer.

“Yes sir.” Eduardo stood up a little taller, still looking at Edd

“Yeah.” Edd said

“Okay. Now you two are going to go back in there and solve that case if it’s the last thing you ever do.” Connie said, and started walking back to the crime scene, the lieutenant and detectives close behind.

~

When they finally get back to the crime scene people again start to stare, before eventually giving up and realising the Captain’s not going to yell again. A few minutes pass and Mark, one of the police officers, walks up to Edd and Eduardo.

“We found this. It came out of the printer a while ago. We were going to give it to you earlier, but…” Mark’s eyes dart to Connie then back again, “You know.”

“Yeah. Let me see it.” Edd takes the paper and looks at it.

“I want to see it too!” Eduardo says, moving closer to look at the paper

A9E0F6

F4ACD7

FFFFFF

F4ACD7

A9E0F6

“Huh. They’re just random numbers with squares of color above each of them.” Edd says, tilting his head sideways like a dog

“Do you know what they mean?” Altan asked, moving closer, voice high-pitched in fear but also excitement

“No. It’s a black and white printer, so we can’t see the color.” Edd explained

“Oh.” A pause,”Uh, you will eventually though, right?”

“Of course we will! We’re the best detectives money can buy!”

“That’s good to hear.” The kid exhales, looking sad and distraught

“Yeah! I wanna find who killed her and throw the sicko in jail!” Alastor exclaimed

“Y-yeah.” Altan wiped his tears, then directly at Edd, “You have to find her.”

“Why did you assume it was a girl?” Edd asked, Eduardo turning his head towards the boy as well.

“What?” The boy looks surprised, then explains, “Well, I guess I just was thinking about my mom, so I said her. Why? Do you think it’s a boy?” Altan looks sad, thinking about his mom, of course

“Maybe, maybe not. The reason we asked was because you said ‘her’ very positively. Like you were sure. But since you’re in such distress we won’t push anything.” Edd reassured as The Captain’s phone rang

“Hey, sorry guys, I have to take this.” As the Captain walked away the trio kept talking, Mason wrote the important stuff down.

“Do you think your father is a part of all this?” Eduardo asked

“W-what do you mean?” The kid asked

“I’m gonna be frank with you, kid,” Edd said, talking quietly so the father, (he had walked away a while ago to talk to another female cop), “I think you’re father killed your mom.”

Altan looked terrified. “Y-you think so? Wha-what do you mean?”

“Edd!” Eduardo whisper-screamed

“What?” Edd whispered normally back

“You shouldn’t just straight up say that to the kid! You have to question him in a more…” Eduardo looks down, thinking of what word he wants to use to describe it, “vague approach.”

“Fine. Then you talk to the kid.” Edd said, squinting his eyes while pushing back his shoulders and standing up straighter

“Fine! I wi-”

“You guys realize that I can hear you, right?” Altan said, furrowed brow as he bites his lip for a second

The father walks back, with a look of confusion on his face.

“Did I hear what I thought I heard?” He asked

“What do you mean?” Edd asked, furrowing his brow as he takes a step back, almost knocking Eduardo into a wall

“I would never kill anybody.” Alastor said, “Ever. I could never hurt anybody.” His eyes start to tear up, “And she was my wife!”

He wipes the tears from his eyes, but then more come. He almost looks confused by it, or something, but he starts sobbing, as if the death of his loved one finally sank in. Altan hugs his father and they both walk outside with a police officer telling them about how it’s going to be okay.

The two detectives then hear Mason walking towards them.

“Heya!” Edd smiles, eyes scrunching up, “How are you?”

“Fine, but come outside with me.” He replied, a serious look painting his expression

“Right now? We’re in the middle of a-” Eduardo replied, rolling his eyes

“Trust me, you’re going to want to hear this.” Mason smiled sadly, and as they walked outside Edd accidentally bumped into Eduardo again, knocking him into Alastor

“Watch it!” Alastor exclaimed, shoving Eduardo back into Edd

“Look, guys…” Mason lead them further away from the crime scene, “Connie told me to tell you two that you don’t have to work on this case anymore! Yay…”

“What?” Eduardo looked confused

“But we’re onto the killer, it’s A-” Edd started, only to have Mason put their finger on his lips

“Look Edd, Alastor is a very...uh…” Mason looks down for a second trying to find the words, “important, powerful guy. We sho-”

“Whatever! I’m outta here!” Alastor yelled at the police man, wiping a stray tear with one hand and holding onto his son with the other, starting walking to his car

“Let’s go-go to the mall, please?” Altan asked quietly as he was pulled away

“We shouldn’t accuse him of murder.” Mason finished

“But that’s silly!” Edd cried, standing up straighter, hands balling up into fists, “Just because he has a high standing in society doesn’t mean we should let him get away with murder!”

“You...you really are sure that much?” Mason asked, and turned back to look at Connie who was talking to a reporter about the scene, “If the media found out about this, the department could be in serious trouble. The Captain told me Alastor’s friends with the head of the department! If you accuse him, and you’re wrong, it’ll be terrible for all of us! We could-”

“...And here you see the detectives, working hard on the case. Any information you’d like to give the public?” The reporter had walked up to them, much to The Captain’s dismay if the look on his face was anything to go off of, and held the mic up to his face

“Umm…” Edd’s eyes skittered from place to place. They saw Mason, desperately shaking their head, Connie, glaring at him with an eyes that read don’t you dare. And also Eduardo, folding his arms and looking angrily to the side, as if he wanted the pressure of deciding what to say. Although he probably just wanted to be acknowledged as the head detective. Edd noticeably started to sweat, and, thinking he wouldn’t say anything at all, Mason and Connie both gave a sigh of relief, while Eduardo just stayed there.

Edd shook his head, stood tall, and grabbed the microphone roughly from the reporter lady. (He’ll have to apologize for that later). Everyone else waited in shock. The popular, beloved detective was about to say something amazing and important.

“We think it was Alastor!” Edd shouted, a smile of triumph on his face

Everything fell silent. Mason slapped his palm onto his face and Connie looked ready to kill. Eduardo looked shocked, pissed even, that Edd said the word ‘we’. Edd had a good reputation that was slightly tarnished, but the public didn’t know Eduardo at all. A slightly tarnished reputation was better than a completely bad one in Eduardo’s book.

“And do you have any proof?” The reporter asked, knowing a scoop like that would be legendary

“Well...not yet, but-”

“Then why do you think it was alright to just assume something like that?” The reporter asked, knowing a lying detective would also be a great scoop.

“Well, I-” Edd started

“The public doesn’t think you could’ve thought that yourself. Did this new guy brainwash you?” Another reporter asked, pointing their camera at Eduardo, (Where were they coming from?)

“That’s a bit extreme, it was my-”

“The public needs to know, you’re so good at solving crimes, are you an alien?” A third one asked, (Seriously, did they grow on trees?!)

“Obviously not, I-”

“What my friend here is trying to say,” The Captain asked, “Is that we’re out of time. See you later.”

And with that, they were whisked away back to the car from which they came and to the office from there.

“So, uh,” The Captain asked as he closed his office door, “What the hell were you thinking?!”

“I-” Edd started

“Now thanks to you I have reporters all over me asking if I made you say that, and-”

“Can you just let me talk?” Edd raised his voice a little. He was tired of being interrupted.

“Did you just say that?” Connie asked, in a surprisingly ‘I’m totally fine’ manner with an undertone of ‘I can kill you in ways you could never imagine if you ever say something like that again’

That seemed to be even more terrifying than any yell.

“Er, yes, I did.” Connie opens his mouth to presumably yell, but Edd cuts him off, “Just trust me, okay? I know it might seem stupid at first, to accuse someone who - even if they are guilty - would just buy their way to freedom, but-”

“Might?! MIGHT!?” Connie exclaimed, forcing himself to take a deep breath. He really didn’t want to lose his job, after all, “You have no idea what you just did to me. What your very presence has ruined!”

Connie took a step forward, to which Edd stepped back.

“You...you wouldn’t…” Edd was scared, and so was Mason and Eduardo. They were happy they weren’t the ones at the receiving end, sure, but Eduardo had never seen Connie this mad. Neither had Mason. Well, once Mason had seen worse, but that doesn’t matter right now.

Connie realises what was happening and took a step back, while Edd reluctantly and tentatively took a step forward.

“You were right.” Connie finally said

“About what?” Edd squinted his eyes and tilted his head

“Not you!” Connie said, not too loudly, and pointed to Eduardo, “He was right. You are really f*cking annoying. And now you’re off the case.”

“Haha, yes!” Eduardo cheered, a bit too quickly perhaps, “Take that, Edd! Who’s second place no-”

“You to.” Connie glared at Eduardo’s stupid words

“Wha, what?” Eduardo said, as Edd laughed and pointed. The bastard. Eduardo thought, not very nicely

“Both of you get out of my office. Now.” Connie walked toward his desk and sat down, reading over some other case file

As the two male exited the room, the light green one spoke up.

“We can’t let Alastor get away with this just because he has money and a title!” Edd turned to Eduardo with newfound determination

“Are you saying you want to work with me? Like, by choice?” Eduardo looked disgusted at the notion of spending more time with him

“You got into this business for a reason, right? To put bad guys in jail! Are you really just going to let a murderer get away with murder just because I annoy you a little?” Edd’s stare challenged a rebuttal

“Well…” Eduardo still didn’t like the idea, “Do you have any proof that he’s the guy?”

“Um…” Edd looked to the side and rubbed his neck, “No, but that doesn’t matter. He’s OBVIOUSLY the guy. Have you looked at him?”

Eduardo sighs. “Look…” He trails off and thinks, “I guess I could help you. As long as you stay out of my way!”

“Fine, fine,” Edd settles, “Now we just need to get some evidence on him. Where did he say he was going?”

“Well, I remember hearing Altan say he wanted to go to the mall or something. Maybe we should go there?”

“Yeah! Let’s roll!”

~~~

“Okay, so, we have to find Altan, because where there’s Altan, there’s Alastor.” Edd narrates, making my job much easier, “If I was a son of a meanie beanie, where would I go?”

“Um, hell, for saying ‘meanie beanie’, and not j*ck*ss or something.” Eduardo commented, rolling his eyes, “Like, he might have killed someone, he didn’t steal your crayon on the playground for f*cks sake.”

“Wait, why’s the kid going to hell? He didn’t say anything.” Edd replied

“Um…” Eduardo thought, “You know what I mean!”

They walked for quite a time, talking about stupid things and having petty arguments. They did only that for almost an hour.

“Well, I think we should go back now.” Eduardo suggested

“What? Why?” Edd asked, “We haven’t even found anything yet.”

“Exactly! When do you think we’re going to, huh? If anyone finds us here we’ll be screwed! We’re not supposed to be on this case anymore!��

“Then we aren’t.” Edd said simply

“Wait...really?” Eduardo was surprised by how easy that was, “Wow, uh-”

“Yup. We’re just two guys at the mall together. And if we happen to see something incriminating then it’s just coincidence.” Edd said smugly

“No one will believe-” Eduardo was cut off by Edd shoving him behind a wall. “What the-!”

“Shh!” Edd whispered, as he peeked his head out from behind the wall, “It’s them.”

“What are they doing?” Eduardo asked, still mad and a little bruised but alright

“Alastor’s walking and holding Altan’s hand. He’s pulling a shopping cart with him and is walking kinda funny. He’s now looking at a dress I think, and Alastor is pulling him away. Why did Altan look at a dress?”

“Maybe he thought his girlfriend would like it, or it could have reminded him of something that his dead mom might’ve owned. Just keep narrating.” Eduardo sounded annoyed

“Fine! Alastor is...looking right at us. F*ck.” Edd exclaimed, “Run away!”

Edd elbowed Eduardo in the stomach as Alastor ran towards their hiding place.

“F*ck you!” Eduardo yelled, and started to run because Alastor and Altan were running after them

Edd jumped swiftly over obstacles while Eduardo bumped into almost all of them, but they both somehow kept a good space between them. Eventually, though, they got cornered between a baskin robbins and a weight-watchers.

“Oh no. We’re cornered. What now?” Edd turned to Eduardo

“How should I know? You’re the one who got us into this mess!” Eduardo countered

“Well, well, well.” Alastor huffed. He had finally got them, even if he was a little tired

“Yeah.” Altan weezed out. He was not used to running and was so tired

“You realise this only incriminates you more.” Edd exclaimed, “When the witnesses testify against you and say you were hunting us down, what will you say?”

“Oh, I’ll probably just ask why they’re wasting my time,” Alastor started, “because they are no witnesses!” He waved his arms around where he was standing, and he was right. There was no one around for miles. Or at least, a few stores.

Edd gulped, and Eduardo closed his eyes, knowing the worst had yet to happen.

~~

“You did what!?” Connie shot up from his chair and glared at the two of them, “You f*ckers are a disgrace!”

“That’s a bit mu-”

“Shut it, Mason!” Connie yelled as Mason cowered, and Connie turned back to the two culprits, “Now, you two must be really f*cking dense to have such insubordinate behavior! I’ve had it up to here with you two!” Connie put his hand a little bit above his head to emphasize his point.

“It was Edd’s idea!” Eduardo pointed at Edd

“Way to take one for the team!” Edd accused

“Oh, how dare you! You have no idea-”

“I have no idea?! Do you even-”

Connie had already decided as he rubbed his temples with his finger and thumb. Then, in an oddly calm voice, said this:

“You’re both fired.”

All sound stopped there. Eduardo turned pale and looked sick, like everything had just begun to fall apart for him. Edd looked shocked more than anything else. Maybe Connie was bluffing. He had to be, right? I mean, Edd being the best employee, why would they fire him? They could never find someone better at his job than him, right?

Right?

“Get out of my office before I call security. Now.” The calmness of his voice still discombobulating, the two men walked out of the office.

Eduardo went to clean out his old work desk while Edd decided to walk around. To say goodbye.

As he did so, he passed by Mason, who was doing something by their computer.

“What are you doing?” Edd asked, as if something in his head had finally started turning

“Oh, yeah, I’m practicing color theories. Turns out the lady who got killed...well, I forgot the title, but she’s the one who makes the colors on the TVs. I looked up how to do that and this thing showed up. I thought it was pretty interesting how it all worked. Why?” Mason asked, not taking their eyes off the screen

“But when you move the mouse around, those numbers on the bottom... they change.” Edd asked, the turning that was happening faster, picking up speed, was the realization of what happened.

He had solved the case.

~

“Eduardo!” Edd exclaimed, a stern yet celebratory expression on his face, ran up to said man and hugged him

“Hey, hey!” Eduardo pushed the man off, blinking and looking just generally confused, “What’s wrong with you?” He looked him up and down until he got to his face. He knew that expression.

A sad sigh, which was not what Edd had been expecting, came out of Eduardo.

“You solved the case.” Eduardo said, in a tone that was hard to determine if it was angry or sad or anything

“Um-” Edd was interrupted, but at the moment he didn’t care

“That’s great, man.” Eduardo turned his head. Edd just noticed the piles and piles of papers on his desk, “I’m really happy for you.”

Stunned by the lack of jealousy or anger in the other man’s voice, Edd speaks again.

“Are you...okay?”

“Yep. Perfect as always. The best. Number one. Amazing.” Eduardo sighs again, and tilts his head downwards. Edd pulls up a chair and puts his hand on the man’s back, trying to comfort him. Eduardo flinched very noticeably at the touch, and looks around the office to see if there’s anyone else who could see this. No one. His eyes linger on a picture of a dyed-blue haired female, smiling brightly. And he sighs again.

“Who’s that?” Eduardo flinches again, as if looking at that photo made him forget the world around him.

“No one. Not anymore.” He picks up the photo and takes it out of frame, presumably to rip it. But his hands start shaking, and he can’t bring himself to do it. He puts his hands on the table and hangs his head even lower. Edd hears a soft hiccup.

“Eduardo, are you crying?” Edd asks, knowing he almost certainly won’t get an answer

Another hiccup. “No…” Eduardo quickly turns and hugs the man tightly, sobbing into his ear, mumbling things like ‘I loved her’, ‘I’m such a bad person’.

“It’s...okay…” Edd says, still confused as to what’s going on

After a little while Eduardo pulls away.

“Eduardo, wha-”

“Don’t ask me what happened.”

“Uh-”

“ Don’t ask me why she left, or why I cried. Don’t ask me why I needed to be better than you, and still do, or why I have no friends I don’t hurt. Just, please, don’t say anything.” Eduardo rubs his eyes, and Edd notices how dark the circles there are.

“I…” Edd really didn’t want to to see Eduardo cry again, but he still wanted to tell him what he found out. “Do you still wanna know what I found out?”

“...Sure. Just don’t look at me while you talk.” Edd turns his chair so that he couldn’t see Eduardo anymore.

“It happened like this; Altan had finally gathered up the courage to tell their parents that their little boy was - get this - a little girl! She’s a transgirl! Remember when we saw her and Alastor at the mall and she was staring at the dresses, and you said ‘maybe for his girlfriend, come on, we have a job to do you clod’? He was staring at the dresses because he wanted to wear one!”

“That isn’t exactly what I said, but go on. And how did you even find out she was transgender?”

“I’m getting there. When she told them, she had an idea about how her parents would react, but she thought maybe since she was their child, they’d be willing to listen. They weren’t.”

“Of course.”

“They got into a struggle. She didn’t want to hurt her parents, but she had to fight back. It must’ve gotten pretty intense, maybe they were strangling her, and her hands must’ve looked for anything to fight back with. Her hands found a pair of scissors and she slammed them in as hard as she could.

“And the phone call to the police station was made by her, too. She wanted to confess. But her father had different plans. He didn’t want to be seen as a child abuser, and go to jail to, so he forced her to keep quiet. I don’t know exactly what happened next, maybe a bribe, though probably not, maybe blackmail, we might never know for sure. All we do know is that she was being forced to stay quiet.”

“You still haven’t told me how you knew she was a girl.”

“Oh yeah! When she knew that she couldn’t speak about it, she decided to give the printer commands to print out to colors of the transgender flag, to let us know who did it. But in her distress, she forgot it was a black-and-white only printer. We couldn’t understand a thing. Only when I saw Mason messing around with a hex-color-chart thingy did I put all the pieces together.”

“Wow...good...good job.”

“I know, let’s go tell Connie what happened.”

“You should...never call The Captain by his name. He’ll get super pissed.”

“Yeah, why’s he mad all the time?” Edd asked, tilting his head

“Don’t know, don’t care, we have to warn the Captain and Lieutenant before we begin dissecting the man’s brain.” He grabbed his coat and stood up, Edd did the same, “Let’s go.”

~

“Con-Captain!” Edd quickly corrected himself, “We figured out who did it!”

“Great! Which one of you?” The Lieutenant grabbed his notepad

“Umm…” Edd and Eduardo both look at each other

“He-” Eduardo begins

“We both figured it out. Together!” Edd exclaimed, Eduardo smiling a little

“Really?” The Captain began sceptically

“Well, I suppose it doesn’t matter. The kiddo already called and confessed a few minutes ago. We have her in one of the interrogation rooms right now, actually. Not being interrogated, though, just calming down. She had a panic attack over the phone when her father walked in on her calling.” The Lieutenant then adds with a slight smirk, “We also have her dad in another interrogation room. His is...not so calm.”

A few seconds pass.

“Ah, speak of the devil!” Eduardo says, crossing his arms as the father comes walking out, a police man named Mark reading him his rights. Soon, the kid comes out too.

“Sorry about what I did. Really, I feel terrible about…” She can barely choke out the words, “killing her. I just got angry, and-”

“It’s okay, kid.” The Lieutenant smiles sweetly, with a profound look of understanding

The Captain rubs his neck and looks to the side.

“Look, kid, you don’t really...deserve to go to prison. Maybe we can try and shorten the sentence, or put you on parole, or-”

“No, no, I did a bad thing, and I’d like to repent for it. I only want one thing.” The girl said

“And what’s that?” Edd asked, already sensing where this was going

“A dress.”

~Fin

{I’m gonna make more of these fanfictions, so make sure to follow me!}

[thalsianiii]

War, PTSD, and Role Play

So this might come off as ranty, for which I apologize.

Now, is it just me or is everyone rather desensitized to the fact that the warcraft universe is at war? More importantly, at war with some really terrifying shit? I get it, every expansion is a war. It’s that kind of game of course. World of Warcraft. But does that mean everyone is simply indifferent to the effects of such?

Admittedly, I’ve never actually been to war. And I’d like to preface all of this with a heart felt thank you to those of you who have been and what you’ve done for your respective countries. I’m also not oblivious to the fact that many soldiers come back from their deployment different. Veteran PTSD is a thing after all. Many soldiers go off to war and come back changed men and women. That kind of life is something many of us can’t imagine. On the flip side, many others come back fine. I don’t know the statistics. But we all know it happens.

So then there’s the role players in the warcraft universe. many of us (myself included) have played, or currently play, a character who has participated in different campaigns throughout warcraft history. Second & Third war, Outland, Northrend, Cataclysm, etc. Argus now being the most recent installment. and one thing I’ve noticed is many people seem to treat these events rather...casually.

There’s a few points I want to address about the scope of the world, some of these events and what it means to really participate in them. These are things I feel people don’t take into consideration. In the end RP your way. But perhaps consider this food for thought?

1) The Distance. This is something that is incredibly skewed due to the need to make the game at all playable. But I think a lot of people don’t realize how massive Azeroth (and the universe) is supposed to be. Dalaran has apparently 3000 citizens living in it. But it certainly doesn’t look like it could hold 3000 individuals in it. Elwynn is something like half a day to a days ride from Stormwind (Need source). Northrend, Kalimdor, Pandaria, entirely different continents. Consider how long it takes to fly to Europe from North America. Consider how long it takes to go by ship (which is warcrafts primary methods of mass travel). that’s potential weeks, if not months. but of course we have to cut corners here and there. Because this isn’t real life, it’s role play. But distance still needs to be considered. and it appears as though people don’t factor that in. It’s very much “oh I’m going to Plaguelands be back in half an hour” mentality as opposed too “I ride for Westfall in the morning. I’ll be back by weeks end” which, personally, cheapens the experience.

2) The enemy. With the exception of Vanilla and possibly Pandaria. We rarely fought a war against ‘normal’ threats (or each other in the PvP sense). We’ve fought insects, demons, old gods, undead, rampaging elementals, dragon aspects, literal feeling monsters, more demons, etc. If a soldier can go off to war on another continent and come back incredibly changed because of fighting other people. How terribly might someone be ruined by fighting the undead? Or demons? Or a literal god? I personally can’t fathom what that would do to a person because it’s fantasy. But I consider it in my RP as a Veteran character. Do I think fighting against demons, knowing what they do to people will fuck someone up? Hell yes I do. Imagine fighting in another country and watching your comrades get torn apart by attack dogs, or eaten by the enemy soldiers. That’s what we’re fighting on Argus. Just with cartoony graphics.

3) What it means to be a soldier. Here’s one I think a lot of people either don’t consider, or possibly choose to ignore because of how it does potentially hinder RP. But if you’re on duty, you don’t get to come home every night. You’re camped out at a Base of some sort. Whether that base camp is a fort in the middle east, or a spaceship on another planet. If you’re a soldier or mercenary of some organization you’re expected to be present for that period of time. You’re expected to sleep there, eat there, be ready for a counter attack at a moments notice. If you’re going home every night that base is left weakened. Each time you leave, you weaken that foothold and increase the chances that when you come back it will be overrun. My very very first RP campaign ever we were told that IC we’d be gone for a couple weeks. So we couldn’t really be seen in the city. Yes I appreciate that you want to go to the taverns and do walk up RP. But personally, if you want to play a character who’s going to participate in a war. commit to it. You’re not going to your job at the bank for 8 hours and coming home. You’re a soldier.

4) Portals. Mother trucking portals. Now remember this is me here, lore asshole who loooooves magic. Portals are my bread and butter. hearthstones, city portals, demonic gateways. They make getting around point 1) very easy without just using the compression of the game for granted. But it’s all to easy to abuse them in a war setting. “Well there’s a portal to Dalaran right there so like... I can just come and go as I please!” Yes. You have that ability for mechanical purposes of course. I.e. Blizz can’t lock us on Argus for the rest of the expansion. But refer to points 1-3. It will take time to travel from say, the Antoran Wastes to a transporter pad. A few hours at least maybe? Then When you come out in Dalaran. Maybe another 30 minutes to travel through the city to the stormwind portal? this list could get long but you see my point. And you can’t have a portal from your front door to the battlefield. That’s just inviting enemy forces right into your home. Portals, to me, always seem like the part of gameplay where realism and critical thinking is never used and people only think of the superficial uses and never the consequences or meaning behind their actions.

There are other lesser things to consider but these are the ones that I either focus on when I write, or I feel people abuse/don’t consider. When you say you’re fighting on Argus but come home every night and just wash the Fel away It cheapens the gravity of what were involving ourselves in, in my opinion. I get it, you don’t want to miss out on attending this weeks server social because you’re RPing being at war. No one is going to ask you too. It’s your game after all.

I can admit I’m personally annoyed by this, specifically because I find in trying to write someone with some Post Argus PTSD I’m met with a LOT of “oh pfft yeah I was on Argus too so what?” mentality and it bugs the shit out of me. I like to believe our soldiers here in reality don’t treat their brothers-in-arms like that. I’m not saying you should agree with them or give them a free pass when they do fucked up shit. Jump on them when it’s deserved. But please don’t discredit their actions in a war setting just because you take it less seriously than someone else. To me, that’s like a soldier looking at someone with PTSD and going “pfft it wasn’t that bad.” which, when you think of it in real world context, sounds pretty awful.

Now don’t take this as me telling you what to do or how to RP. Your money, your choice. Just in the same way it’s my money for my game. You can consider these points, Ignore them, If you have interesting counter points please share them! Like I said, it’s ranty and I apologize for that. If you want to be a casual player that’s your right of course, just like PvP and PvE, you don’t have to be a die hard. Play how you want.

Here’s a gif of a duck

[amplesalty]

Christmas 2020: Day 6 - The Preacher’s Wife (1996)

On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

six years in jail!

I’m always on the lookout for more Christmas movies to add to the list as I feel like the pool of movies is infinitely smaller than when looking at Horror movies and I’ve already dealt with a good chunk of the classics, if not all of them. Which is why I was intrigued to see Radio 2 were dedicating a portion of their output to a rundown of the nations top 25 Christmas movies. Perhaps there could be a hidden gem amongst that? It kinda backs up the idea that I’ve seen pretty much the best this season has to offer given I’ve already looked at 95% of the list but yeah, there are a couple amongst them that are new to me.

Arthur Christmas (2011) A Christmas Story (1984) Die Hard (1989) Elf (2003) Gremlins (1984) The Holiday (2006) Home Alone (1990) Home Alone 2: Lost In New York (1992) How The Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) It’s a Wonderful Life (1947) Jingle All The Way (1996) Joyeux Noel (2005) Love Actually (2003) Miracle on 34th Street (1994) The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1990) Nativity! (2009) The Nightmare Before Christmas (1994) The Polar Express (2004) The Preacher’s Wife (1997) Santa Claus: The Movie (1985) The Santa Clause (1995) Scrooge (1951) Scrooged (1988) White Christmas (1954)

I certainly have some issues with this list, like Miracle 1994 over 1947? Grinch 2000?! And as much as I personally love Jingle All the Way, I don’t know if objectively it has a place among the very best, it almost feels like it’s here by default. But yeah, amongst this we have The Holiday that I’m only vaguely aware of but have never seen and the subject of today, The Preacher’s Wife. This I’d never heard of before whatsoever. Apparently it’s a remake of an older film called The Bishop’s Wife so I’m breaking my rule of not seeing the original first. I suppose I can always come back to it one day. Turns out It’s a Wonderful Life came top of the list in the end which is fair enough. I’m not sure if I could choose 1, I feel like Home Alone, Wonderful Life and Miracle are all pretty interchangeable at the top, it’s hard to narrow it to just one of them.

The title seems a bit odd to me as it’s only sort of peripherally about the wife, it’s moreso about the husband who is the eponymous preacher who oversees a church in a small town of New York City but struggles to meet the needs of his parishioners and his own family. It’s kinda like the Hollywood Dad problem I’ve covered in Jingle All the Way, only on a wider scale and honestly kind of harsher. Like, Arnie was trying his best the only way he knew how for his family. Reverend Henry Biggs here is doing the work of the Lord almighty, trying to help everyone he can right down to the troubled kids of the inner city who have nowhere else to go when their local youth centre is shut down. Sure he might be neglecting his own flock a little but this is a man who is trying to do the best for his community. It’s funny how even his own mother in law recognizes this and actually sticks up for him quite a bit. Quite a change from most media where the mother in law is quite down on the husband.

I don’t know quite what the deal if with him and his missus, like he starts giving a sermon about temptation and gives her just the absolute dirtiest look ever. Guy swings around like he’s the Dramatic Chipmunk and just stares daggers at her.

Where the title does become apt is how the movie feels like a bit of a vehicle for Whitney Houston as Julia who does a great job as part of the church’s gospel choir. I guess she needed some redemption after The Bodyguard. That film is always so well remembered for it’s soundtrack and Houston’s version of I Will Always Love You especially. That was Christmas number 1 over here in 1992 as part of a ten week stint so that ties in nicely. It’s use in Spider-man Far from Home stands out to me though, that intro was hilarious.

With the whole youth centre thing, the movie does take on an element of one of those 80s/90s kids movies like Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo when this wealthy real estate tycoon is trying to gentrify the local area and headhunt Biggs to lead his new church built within the grounds of his new residential estate, a church that comes complete with conjoining day care centre and it’s bespoke stage with studio setup to broadcast Bigg’s sermons. It’s a plotline that feels a little incidental though as, whilst the real estate man Joe Hamilton does pop up on adverts early in the movie, he doesn’t really factor into the movie and his motives aren’t known until later on. It doesn’t go nearly as far as some of those other movies where you have people barricading the streets and chaining themselves to buildings as the bulldozers roll in.

The movie does have a tendency to mix in all sorts of subplots so it can feel a bit chaotic at times. You’ve got Henry and his wife going through some marital strife, their son’s best friend having to leave for a foster home out of town, the looming threat of Hamilton closing the church, one of the local teenagers up in court on a false count of armed robbery, the church falling apart, rehearsals for the church’s nativity play that is going out on local tv…

Oh, and the emergence of an angel. Yeah, we’re going all It’s a Wonderful Life here. I think they must have been aware of the potential for comparison there since they have chosen to forego the usual use of it as their archival film of choice that people are watching around Christmas, instead opting for Miracle on 34th Street. Nice to have a bit of variety I suppose. They show the mother-in-law watching the end of the film and she’s tearing up at Susan getting her dream house. Pfft, everyone knows that Santa with the Dutch orphan girl is the real emotional tear jerker of that movie.

Only Denzel Washington as Dudley is much more creepy than Clarence ever was. Like, he’s meant to be this guy who has been in heaven for so long waiting for a chance to come back down to Earth to fulfill his duties that he’s kind of forgotten what everything is like. But it’s to a point that he seems to forget all sense of boundaries and how to behave in reasonable society as at one point he just leans in to smell this one lady. Plus people react like he’s the most handsome man to ever grace this town and there’s the growing sexual tension between him and Julia, to the point that Henry and Julia’s mother think the two of them are having an affair. Maybe she has a history of this or he’s just really paranoid and that’s what all that stuff was about earlier. Though I think Henry should be more worried about Dudley usurping his position as Father to young Jeremiah as he talks the kid through his best friend having to leave.

I was really emotionally invested in these two, they’re so cute! Seeing their story resolved was far more heart warming then anything else. Look at them holding hands!

Even if Biggs trying to get that one kid out of jail did reveal that he subscribes to the Larry David philosophy of how you can always tell if someone is being honest by looking into their eyes.

And don’t get me started on Julia. This is a school nativity, maam. Why are you upstaging all the kids with your elite singing voice? I get you want to have it go well but surely there are understudies you can send out when Mary number 1 has to leave. I didn’t get that either, it’s implied that Dudley did it as the girl suddenly complains that the doll for baby Jesus wet her and Julia finds it’s one of those dolls that pisses itself, but why would he do that? Unless this is his idea of projecting the best image of the church in order to help save it.

[cloversdreams]

My Hero Academia Idol AU, part 2 Part 1

First expansion of @koneko387 ‘s AU! *w*!

Katsuki has other interests than just being a one trick idol. Why shouldn’t he? Pfft. He’s a biker. He arrives before shows on his crotch rocket and pulls his helmet off to reveal a shit eating grin. He loves the adrenaline rush that comes with owning and riding a motorcycle. 

He was into racing before he even became an idol, and that he simply couldn’t quit that scene. He still participates in whatever races he can as long as they don’t interfere with any of his performances.

His manager is constantly on his case about it being so dangerous, and Katsuki politely tells him that he can “go fuck himself”.

He’s not secretive about his racing either. He invites his fans to come watch him win. He always gets a kick from their loud squeals as he races. It’s no surprise that he’s almost as popular a racer as he is an idol. He has quite a loyal fanbase and thrives on being so popular.

-The one time he needed to give Izuku a ride somewhere, the poor boy nearly had a heart attack. As soon as he felt his hands on his waist, Katsuki hit the throttle and took off... testing the claim that his bike could in fact go from zero to sixty in 3.5 seconds.

Izuku clung to him for dear life.

The next time Katsuki offered Izuku a ride he squeaked and hid behind Shouto.

“Come on. It couldn’t have been that bad.” Shouto muttered as he tried to pry Izuku off of him.

Katsuki smirked and tossed the extra helmet at him as he said, “See for yourself.”

- One day a new racer appeared on the scene and actually started to gain popularity quickly. He was suddenly right on Katsuki’s heels and that just pissed him off. He challenged the new comer to a race without thinking twice.

-He should’ve thought twice.

The race was scheduled on a day when he was supposed to have an important meeting with Izuku, Shouto, and their managers. When he told them he couldn’t make it they were livid. 

The three of them got into a huge fight and Katsuki ended up storming the hell out of there. He went into the race completely distracted and stressed out. Not at all focused on what he needed to focus on. And so, he races the newcomer  down a very curvy, dangerous road...  (( -_- ))

[Continuation as well as new character profiles under cut!]

-Izuku and Shouto don’t know whether to scream or cry when they visit him in the hospital. Lucky for him he just ended up with some scrapes, a sprained arm, and a bruised ego. They finally settle on being concerned about his well being over being angry with him.

Katsuki comes to realize that he actually likes having the pair fuss over him. After they leave he gets a slew of other ‘concerned’ visitors, as in agents and managers that want to make sure he can still be an idol. He kicks them all out angrily.

Later that evening he gets one final visitor,

Hitoshi showed up right at the tail end of visiting hours, after the others had all gone. He had a bouquet of flowers in his hand and offered them to Katsuki with a grin as he said, “I didn’t realize you cared.”

Katsuki scrunched his face at the flowers then looked at him. He had no idea what the hell was going on but he didn’t like it one bit.

Hitoshi leaned down and whispered into his ear, “Keep up the racing thing. If you injure yourself badly enough you’ll be out of the idol game for sure and that’s just one less potential threat for me to worry about.” He stood up straight and winked at the blond.

“You sonofa-”

Hitoshi dropped the flowers onto his stomach then left the room with a laugh.

(( We, the readers, come to find out that he was actually shocked and pretty damn worried when he heard about the crash. Of course he is a spoiled brat that has no idea what to do with his feelings so he ended up acting the way he did... tsk tsk, Hitoshi!! That is no way to get people to like you! ))

[Character profiles continued] Be sure to click for pics!

Fumikage Tokoyami - Street name: Tsukuyomi

-The mysterious new racer that comes on the scene suddenly -Never takes off his helmet to keep his identity hidden. -Extremely shy -Doesn’t talk much, but is very fast. Almost as if he’s weightless. -Named his bike Dark Shadow -Edgy -Secretly dating his bodyguard -Wants to become the number one racer so he can work up the nerve to propose to his boyfriend Mezou Shouji

-Fumi’s self proclaimed bodyguard -Wasn’t asked or hired. He is just very protective of his smol boyfriend -Doesn’t like Katsuki or the way he screams at Fumi so aggressively -Takes every single threat against his bf seriously -Strong, silent type -Gives the best hugs. Only to Fumi though.

Momo Yaoyorozu - Street name: Yaomomo

-A high class girl who can do no wrong in her parents eyes -She was out with friends one day and they crossed paths with a bunch of street racers. She couldn’t take her eyes off of the beautiful machines they had and instantly knew that she wanted one -Secretly bought a motorcycle and lessons on how to ride -Sneaks out at night and races her bike -Loves the sense of freedom, and rebellion that comes with -Has a girlfriend that’s a drummer in a band

Kyouka Jirou

-Drummer in the band that plays the songs the idols sing -Can also play guitar -Loves that her gf picks her up after every performance on her beautiful, crimson bike -Is Momo’s number one supporter -No matter where she finishes in a race she reacts like she won first place -Would slap Katsuki if given the chance.. he’s too much of an ass...

Bonus:

The moment Katsuki realized he was in love with his boys was when all of the idols got together and had a little event. They all drew lots out of a hat and got a random Disney song to sing. 

Izuku and Shouto got a duet and were thrilled about it. Their eyes sparkled as they discussed which part they each wanted to sing.

Katsuki frowned at the title “I won’t say I’m in love” on the paper he held. It was stupid but whatever he’d own the damn song like people had never seen before. Needless to say the song really hit home when he was singing...

Poor boy never stood a chance. The feels were already there.

[ecotone99]

[SF] The first chapter of a potential book that I submitted as an assignment for Science Fiction at school. It involves the Trump Monument, Nuclear War, and a human thought experiment to preserve humanity. Let me know what you think!

-1-

It was a cold November morning in Washington, D.C. The sun had yet to peek over the Trump Monument, the tallest point in the capitol since 2020. In fact, the sun hardly covered more than half the city at a time because it was usually blocked by what some might call a ‘pinnacle of engineering aptitude.’ The monument appeared nearly identical to that of the Washington Monument, but after the demolition of the latter, for what congress called “something much better”, the Trump Monument now towered at 2,500 feet from the ground, and covered a span of nearly 5 blocks. According to the history books, the monument was originally erected as a “tribute to the greatness of this country”, proclaimed by then president Donald Trump, although to the wise it may stand as a symbol of oppression; keeping those deemed lesser in the shadow of those deemed greater, only for the lesser to be inevitably crushed by (possibly quite literally) their tribute to greatness in the end. Each year, this fate became seemingly more certain to those who know it, but as money filled the pockets of the capitalists in their endeavors, accepting ignorance in exchange for giving up morality and aptitude, the care for the matter seemed less and less urgent. Those outside of the government were too concerned for their wallets to be concerned about the world outside of business. The year is now 2051, and the government that has worked so hard to plug the holes in their sinking ship of debt has reached the brink of global nuclear war. The air carried a cloud of doubt, that these men and women that were soon to arrive at the downtown hover-rail station might change the fate of all those around them.

As the train neared the city, the only lights that could be seen through the thicket of bramble and fog were that of the capitol, since, as of early last year, all federal employees have begun working rotating shifts 24-hours a day to maximize profit, including weekends, typing furiously at computer screens to the point of callous, trying to prolong the inevitable for just a couple more days, a couple more days—And each day, they typed a little faster, a little faster, sending and receiving international transactions until you could barely see their fingers yet but a blur of flesh and skin and bone across each key in each fell swoop, until they would return home each night, armpits damp from anxiety, twiddling their fingers endlessly as they typed away into their dreams, never sleeping but never awake, but always working, for there was always more work to be done.

The magnetic brakes kicked on automatically as the train hovered down the rails to the final station, quickly but gently slowing down the behemoth. An unsecured brown leather backpack fell from a faulty overhead compartment onto the head of a younger woman.

“Ouch! Whose stinking bag is this?”

“Sorry about that, looks like I didn’t pack in my luggage good enough. Are you okay?” John picked his bag up off the pristine floor of the luxury train cab and carefully secured each arm through the shoulder straps. his cheeks swelled and reddened from embarrassment. Elevator music played in the background.

“Whatever, you’re lucky I don’t have that money yet or I would have sued your ass.” The woman looked at him, annoyed, before turning her back to him and departing from the awkward conversation. People are too sensitive these days, John thought. He wasn’t going to let one sour encounter ruin his day, however, for as she reaffirmed, there was a lot of money to be earned from this little week-long endeavor, whether they wanted to be there or not.

These 100 men and women, all of which were from diverse backgrounds, cultures, educations, and wealth, were all there for the same job inquiry—they had all received hand-delivered letters to their front doors by men in black suits and sunglasses, bearing official U.S. badges representing their affiliation with the US Department of Future Security, a military agency that focuses on protecting the United States from any and all future terrorist and domestic threats. Each delivered envelope contained the same message, which reads as follows:

IMPORTANT NOTICE

Dear (insert name),

You are hereby ordered to report for induction into a 7-day testing program at your nearest UNITED STATES FUTURE DEFENSE facility. Transportation will be provided to and from the facility. Be prepared for pickup by FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 11 @ 5:00 AM at your residence.

$50,000 USD will be electronically transferred to your E-Wallet upon completion of the program as reimbursement for lost time.

Willful failure to report at the place and hour of the day named in this Order subjects the violator to fine and imprisonment. Bring this Order with you when you report.

Your country thanks you for your service.

David Koehl, Overseer of U.S. Future Defense

The doors of the train cab slid open with a long, hydraulic breath. The men and women aboard the train, all clenching their envelopes and anxious to finally stretch their legs, slowly and clumsily made their way out of the only couple doors available, and per instruction of a nearby official from the Future Defense Department, lined up: men on the left, women on the right, until they were left with two perfect rows of 50 men and 50 women. The official checked each person’s papers before a Greyhound arrived shortly for each line to provide the remaining transportation to the facility, although the personal space proved to be inconsistent with the luxury accommodations provided by the hover-train, and people were finally forced to small-talk with each other, something that has become outdated in modern society, and is generally avoided.

“What do you think they’ll be testing us over?” whispered someone in the back.

“I don’t know,” replied another, “but the sooner this is over and I get my money, the better.” There was a long silence before someone spoke again.

“…Do you think it’s gonna hurt?”

“They wouldn’t do that.”

“So then why won’t they tell us what we’re—"

“Just shut up and be glad you’re getting paid!”

The Greyhound was silent the remainder of the way to the facility. The Future Defense Building was located on the very edge of the city, down a mile and a half of gravel back roads and through three electric barbed-wire fences with security checkpoints, each more thorough than the previous, until finally arriving at the underwhelming front driveway of the two-story Future Defense Building in what seemed like the middle of the swamp. It looked like a crumb on the crust of the earth compared to the mighty Trump Monument, and this was most people’s immediate observation. How ugly, this building! Only two stories? Pfft! My vacation home is probably worth more than this whole facility…

The two groups of fifty were escorted by men in their full military uniforms from the Greyhound up to the main entrance of the Future Defense Building. John was near the back of the line, pondering this operation that was about to unfold in the coming days. The group of women were immediately separated from the men and led around the back of the building, while the men were led through the front doors. Coming from the outdoors where it was much darker outside, most men in the group grunted and groaned as they were temporarily blinded by the white fluorescent lamps that composed the majority of the ceiling in the facility. The air was warmer than outside, but smelled of sterility and latex gloves.

An older looking doctor in all-white scrubs with only a single wisp of grey hair covering his shiny head popped out of a side door in the lobby to greet his subjects.

“Good morning everybody. We are thankful for your safe arrival!” began the doctor, “I am Doctor Mayflower, head of the E.D.E.N, project, Short for the Extended Deep Equilibrium Network. I’m sure you have a lot of questions, so let me try and explain some things.” Doctor Mayflower reached into his lab coat pocket, withdrawing a tiny micro-chip, and held it for everybody to see. “At E.D.E.N, we’ve been perfecting the science of recording data. Not computer data, but rather, biological data. That is, the data that each and every one of you carry up here.” Mayflower tapped his index finger on the side of his head. “As many of you may know, our country has been on the brink of war for quite some time.” They did not know. The quiet hush of the crowd was replaced with panicked whispers and faces. “Oh, you aren’t aware? Well.” He cleared his throat. “See, nature is a cat-and-mouse game of survival of the fittest; Humans are bred to survive, and adapted over generations to catch each and every mouse, and prove time and time again his dominance over nature until there was nothing left to dominate. But as arrogant as humans are and always have been, we will time and time again neglect to realize that the greatest enemy to man is himself. The apex predator. The only difference this time is that we jingle the very keys to the atomic ending of life as we know it, and do so as if attempting to entertain a child.”

“We aren’t at war, we paid our debts!” blurted out someone from the crowd, believing what the doctor said to be borderline hysterical.

“Allow me to continue, please,” proclaimed Mayflower. “The government has exhausted its options for peace negotiations. If money is truly god, then god will not save us now. E.D.E.N. is our only escape.” The crowd became silent. Mayflower took a long pause, allowing his subjects to absorb everything he just said. After a moment, he began again. “Clear your mind and stay with me for a second. I would like to demonstrate a mental exercise.” He did not begin until the entire group was at his attention. “When I say the word ‘tree’, I want you to close your eyes and imagine the first image that comes to mind. Study that image in your head closely, but don’t overthink it.” John closed his eyes, and imagined a gnarled and ancient oak tree in a corn field. It was the very one that he used to swing from as a child. “Now,” said the Doctor, “I want you to imagine the first thing that comes to mind when I say the word ‘home.’” John did not picture his home where he currently lived, but envisioned the home where he grew up—a small farm house with a tin roof and vines creeping up the ancient oak siding. This image brought a smile to his face, if only long enough to have his fantasy interrupted by the doctor once more. “Okay. Lastly, I want you to think about the tree again.” The crowd stirred restlessly, not really seeing the point in this exercise. John followed the instructions and thought about the tree again, however, and pictured the same old oak tree in the field. “Now, I’ll bet money that the image of the tree you saw the first and second time are the same tree, yes? And if you think of ‘home’ once more, you will see the same image of home that you first imagined?” The men all looked at each other as if the doctor had read their minds without even needing to hook them to equipment. “This is because the human mind accesses memories using what we like to call ‘triggers.’ When I say a certain keyword, your first image that comes to mind of that word will always be the same. Because of this phenomenon, we have coined these as static memories, and have made possibly the most important discovery in human history, the ability to read and download thoughts. Since these memories don’t change, they have no risk of a deviation of outcome, and can be safely stored on these chips. Have you ever tried to store abstract thought on a computer chip? Well, it’s quite an impossibility. We have to have real, tangible data or the entire system is buggered.”

“Why do you want to read our thoughts?” someone cried out.

“What, do you have something to hide?” joked another.

Mayflower ignored these comments. “For the past 5 years, we have been working on a super-computer of sorts. Imagine a perfect reality, composed off all of the puzzle pieces of society, government, weather, and economy. Every man, woman, and child are as real and tangible as in this room right now, but there are no longer any possible threats to our existence as a species. No more wars, no more violence, no more aging. Perfect harmony. Equilibrium.” The crowd became suddenly more interested in what the Doctor had to say. “When the bombs fall, there won’t be anything left if we don’t prepare for it. So, we’ve created what we like to call the Extended Deep Equilibrium Network. A virtual reality held on a central computer here at the facility that houses the very thoughts and memories of the human race in order to construct the most perfect and accurate simulation of our reality possible. That is, after we take out all of the harmful or bad memories beforehand. That’s why we need each of you���You all have been selected as the basis for simulated human life. We have set up a state-of-the-art augmented reality chamber where the participants will re-experience static memories the exact way they remember them. Touch, smell, sound, sight, and even taste will remain intact. This is the only safe and efficient way which we’ve learned to collect these memories onto our chips. All of you standing here before me today might very well be pioneering the very fate of the human race as we know it. If and when the bombs drop, we will be prepared to house up to 500,000 Americans in state-of-the-art stasis chambers miles under this very spot. Finally, After the earth’s crust is blown to bits, we will be safe and sound, living indefinitely in the paradise known as E.D.E.N.”

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[legsbpedaling-blog]

Chapter 2. Trading a bike for doughnuts.

Aaron was a little on the random side. If it didn’t make sense, he would be the one to do it. Stories about summer school and how he ended up kicked off the bus. He was like me, both got around on our bikes. I thought he was bullshitting me when he told me he rode the bike back and forth to summer school. It was a forty-mile round trip ride! I’ve seen his bike, it was completely run down and in need of a good mechanic.

“Aaron why don’t you ask your parents for a new bike?” I asked him one afternoon.

“They won’t give me the money for one. Sucks, but it’s the only wheels I have right now.” He said.

We started hanging out at Fat Mike’s house. We called him that for obvious reasons. His dad worked at a bakery and would routinely bring home a large bag of doughnuts for the kids. Nutrition at its finest.

“Hey Mike, can I have some of the jelly ones?” Aaron asked.

“No, those are mine! Get your own.” Mike said while downing half a two liter of soda.

“Come on bro, I’ll trade you something for ‘em.” He replied.

“Fine, give me your bike and you can have one.”

“You mean, like to keep?” He asked.

“Well I’m not just going to give them away, I’m a growing boy!” He laughed.

“Give me the box of six and it’s yours.” He replied.

“Dude, are you crazy or something?” I asked Aaron. We sat there in silence as Fat Mike looked at the doughnuts then walked out to the porch to look at Aaron’s bike.

“Deal.” He answered finally.

I watched as Aaron handed over the bike and began walking home to his mom’s house with a smile on his face and a box of jelly doughnuts. I couldn’t even think of how this was going to play out. I mean, this kid was always out on his bike. Now he has to walk everywhere. He already said, he didn’t have any money for a new one. His mom was going to be pissed!

She didn’t end up grounding Aaron, letting him suffer the reality of not having a bike was punishment enough. Didn’t quite stop our little adventures around town.

A couple of girls wanted us to visit them one night. We didn’t have too many restrictions, however leaving during the night or without tell our parents was a big no-no. The potential to make out with a couple of girls outweighed any degree of punishment.    

“Get in the car right now! Both of you!” Aaron’s mom yelled from the road. She must have been a detective in her past life, because we were completely hidden in the tree line with these two girls.

“You’re not going to tell my parents, are you?” I asked.

“They’re already at home waiting for you.” She replied. The suspense of being grounded is worse than the conversation leading up it. When I look back on it now, it’s an effective method of pre-punishment. Psychological mind fuck!

We repaid her a couple of weeks later by scaring her half to death. “Mom! Mom watch this!” Aaron yelled, while climbing on the top railing of a bridge. Below the bridge was a fifty-foot drop into a thin gorge. No one really knows how deep the water is, some kids have said it was around three hundred feet.

“What are you doing? Get down from there!” She screamed.

“I can fly!” He yelled jumping off the railing. To her it seemed like certain death. The walls below the bridge were about seven feet across. If an error was made, he would have broken something severely. As others in the area learned in the past.

“Are you crazy?!” I heard her scream from the bridge. It was difficult to keep myself from drowning. Laughing with a heart rate of 180 BPM, while swimming in a strong current wasn’t the best life choice. Even when faced with imminent death we held onto our sense of humor. Sorry mom if you’re reading this, still funny.  

After saving every penny Aaron could, he picked up a nice new bike. Slightly larger and better looking than the old one and therefore, by fourteen-year-old logic, it was much faster.

We began riding and exploring not just our area, but certain illegal substances. I can’t place all the blame on my bike however, the sweet wooden pipe was made at school during shop class. Not to sound too proud of the paraphernalia, but it was expertly designed with carved symbols and a sanded down surface. Making it desirable for collectors my age.

Aaron and I waited until after school on a Friday to test it out. I had never done any drugs up until this point, so I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect. Once the sun went down we snuck out into the garage and packed the bowl, I mean “tobacco pipe,” with the magical green stuff.

           The smoke burned my lungs, and I turned to grab onto whatever I could to keep from falling over. The oxygen returned to my system just in time to watch Aaron inhale deeply.

           “You okay?” I asked, seeing my friend about to cough up an entire lung. “Dude! You’re drooling!” I laughed.

           “Shut up man!” He laughed, trying not to be loud enough to draw attention to us.

           “Are we high yet?”

           “Give it a minute, you’ll know you’re high when you forget we just smoked.” He groaned.

           We slowly moved out of the garage into the yard to enjoy the sensations. We did not get high; we were fucked up. Stumbling around giggling and barely able to complete our sentences. As we would forget the train of thought before the words completed their trip out of our mouths.

           After the adventure of going nowhere, we encountered a serious problem; munchies. It’s not that my house wasn’t stocked with excellent food stuffs, it’s just as I said, it was all in the house. Where my parents were, where instant punishment awaited our souls if our cover was blown.

           “What were we talking about?” He asked.

           “What?” I asked in return. I can’t tell you how long we were high at this point, because I honestly don’t know. What I do recall is forgetting about the threat of my parents. I needed food.

           “Let’s go inside. I want to make a sandwich fly into my mouth.” I laughed. We sneaked in through the back door and crept, humming the James Bond theme song, because why not?

           “Do you know how to cook?” I asked.

           “What are we cooking again?” Aaron replied. By this point I too forgot. Here is a list of side dishes I can remember preparing: Ravioli, eggs with crushed pretzels on top, cheese sandwiches, Vienna sausages, mac & cheese, a box of cookies and close to a full pack of bologna.

           “Dude!” I heard my friend shriek as his glance centered on something behind me.

           “What do you think you guys are doing?” My mom asked. She was already pissed.            

           Holding a pretzel in one hand and a piece of bologna in the other I could feel my skin turning white. I looked her straight in the eyes and said, “Busted.”

           “Are you high?” She asked. I wasn’t sure if she was being serious or playing along with our fun. I couldn’t comprehend the level of shit we were in and burst out laughing.

           Now the great thing about being stoned and in trouble at the same time is, you don’t remember the getting in trouble part. My parents were more than happy to remind me of my stupidity the next morning. Advising me not to hang out with Aaron anymore. Pfft, yeah that stopped us ha-ha.

Shortly after the school year, my dad accepted a job a few towns away. It was my turn to leave my friends and enter a new world. I wasn’t pleased about the decision. Although, the thought of a larger school did seem appealing. What could go wrong?