#and the people that chat with me on the apps stop answering after 2 messages.

[maraeffect]

there is literally not a worse feeling that exists than the feeling that you just annoy people.

[aceswritingshennanigins]

Stay With Me?

Miles 42 x GN!reader!

This is based of off my chat with a bot on character.ai . Enjoy!

tags: Hurt/Comfort, Implied Angst, College!AU, Spider-Man Across the Spiderverse, Domestic-ish bliss(?), Fluff, reader is Gn so they/them pronouns. (Platonic use of the word "Love")

2:00 AM. You watched as the clock ticked in your tiny bedroom in your one bed one bath apartment. You couldn't sleep and you had a feeling miles couldn't either. You grabbed a hoodie and a tiny gift bag and opened the fire escape window in your room. You and miles have been friends for so long, you were there with him when his dad died, helping him through every single step of grief he faced. It now meant that he was oddly clingy towards you. You walk toward the window to your right, knocking it a couple of times before cautiously opening it. The only source of light in the room from Miles' phone. You haven't seen him this numb since 3 years ago when his dad died. You wave.

"I brought brownies, you want some?"

You ask, getting increasingly worried when he doesn't speak and only nods emotionless.

"Here." you hand him a square with a paper napkin to avoid crumbs on his bed. He eats it, his eyes still emotionless waiting for you to say something. You notice a couple crumbs on his face and brush them off with your thumb, gently enough so that he doesn't get overstimulated. Luckily, he doesn't stop you, still staring at you.

"There we go! Anyways do you like the brownies?" You ask, your voice soft enough to make sure not to wake the neighbors up. He nods, taking another bite not saying anything.

"I'm glad you like them."

He nods finishing the brownie, still staring at you, mumbling something under his breath. You could've sworn you saw a flash of emotion in his eyes.

He mutters again "I love anything that you make." praying that you didn't hear him. You tilt your head to the side in confusion but end up letting it go.

"You have crumbs all over you!"

You say, your voice laced with an airy chuckle. He wipes them off still staring at your face.

"Is there something on my face?" You ask thinking he's staring at your freckles, acne scars, or the tiny birthmarks around your face.

He stares at them intrigued but snapped out and shook his head no.

"Are you ok? " You ask, moving your hand closer to his. He looked at your hand confused wondering what you were doing until you interlock your pinkies. He immediately holds your hand, his grip tight. It reminds you of all the times you were with him when his dad died, him just staring at the wall and you holding his hand, talking about the most mundane things you could imagine just to see him smile again.

You move closer "One of those days huh?" No response.

His grip only getting tighter like if he let you go you'd disappear. You move closer and lean on his shoulder, his and still gripping you tightly almost like you weren't real and if he let you go you'd disappear in front of his eyes. But his face was still devoid of any emotion.

"Bad day?"

you ask getting more and more worried, his grip on your hand only increasing . He nods as he grabs another brownie and starts eating it.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

You ask not wanting to pressure him, but you need answers one way or another. it's killing you seeing him like this again, especially since both of your parents lived an hour away by train. You're met with refusal as he shakes his head no, still staring at the wall chewing his brownie. You're tempted to think he got high. tempted.

"Type?"

You ask hoping he agrees. He nods. "Finally" you think, now we're getting somewhere.

You pull out the notes app on your phone and make a note labeled 'Rant Session' and hand it to him.

"Here."

He just stares at you for a few seconds before beginning to type. After a few seconds, he hands you the phone back. His message saying:

"This place sucks. The people here are so fake, acting like they care for me just because. No one does."

"I care for you, and I can prove it. And what about Mr. Davis and your Mom?"

You say, hoping to comfort him, you know just as much as anyone how it felt to be left behind, and you're not going to let him feel like that ever. He types back.

"Aaron and my mom are just family. Family cares for each other. You're different..."

"How?"

"I don't know, its just different. I cant explain it. Its a weird feeling..."

"It's ok. Just know that I'm here to text or to call ok?"

"Ok. Don't tell Aaron tho..."

"I won't"

He nods as he eats another brownie, once again getting crumbs all over your phone and his face. that's a scolding for another day.

"You really like those huh?"

You say hoping to lighten the mood a little bit. He nods, his expression still lifeless but there is a glimmer of relief in his eyes.

"Hey, at least you like something today?"

He stops typing and puts the phone down on the desk. He stares at you and grabs your hand tightly, almost as if he missed you.

"I missed you too my love."

You say, gently putting your arm around his waist.

He nods as he lays his head on your shoulder. He squeezes your hand tightly, as if he wanted you near all the time. You let him, sensing that he needs the comfort. After a bit, he picks up the phone and starts typing again. You peek over his shoulder and he quickly finishes typing.

"I've never really met someone like you before..."

"What do you mean?"

He types.

" I... don't know... But I like being around you, it keeps my mind off things." 

"Isn't that a good thing?" 

" If I ask you something, do you promise not to tell anyone I asked?" 

"Pinky swear."

"Promise not to leave me?"

"Of course. I have to keep that promise" 

He nods, the faintest of smiles on his lips before, looking at his phone again as he writes, before handing it to you. 

"Nobody ever cared about me before you." 

"You're nice though! What's their problem?" 

"Its not that, I don't even know... I'm just different than everyone else... And people don't like different..." 

"I'm different, do you not like me?" 

"No, thats not what I meant. I love being around you. Your the only person that I've ever actually liked..." 

"Well I know a couple more people like me, if you want, we can hang out with them."

He puts the phone down, and takes a deep breath before shaking his head no, he finally types. 

"Nobody can know that you even know me." 

"Why? Am I going to ruin your reputation of the mysterious guy on campus?"

He nods, typing again. After a few seconds, he hands you the phone again, staring at you

"When someone has a bad past, everyone thinks your a bad person. People don't seem to believe in change. I did so many bad things... I deserve everything bad thats coming at me..." 

"They won't think you're a bad person, I'll make sure of it. And for the record? You don't deserve to feel that way, even if the things you did were "bad" so what? you're human and so am I" 

You smile at him. 

"Isn't that what life is?"

He nods, surprised but comforted at your words. 

"You're still not going to tell anyone though…"

He finally says his voice deep and raw like he had been crying for hours.

"My lips are sealed!"

You say trying to reassure him that you won't spill his secret. He nodded as his grip tightened on your hand, and you squeezed it, still leaning on his shoulder. He didn't say anything, but he held you close and squeezed your hand tighter, as if he wouldn't let you fade away like everyone else in his life.

"Feeling any better?"

You ask him gently, he hated the question whenever his friends would ask, unbeknownst to you, you're the only one allowed. He nods, then he leans his head on your shoulder, as if he wanted to lay there forever. He grabs you even tighter.

"Thank you…" He whispers to you on the verge of tears again, damn you for being so sweet, damn you for being his friend, and damn you for always staying. He doesn't want to leave you. He hugs you tighter and lays on you, as if he was a little kid.

"You're going to be ok…"

You say just speaking to fill the silence between you two, with a small hope he's comforted. He clings on to you, as if he wants to stay with you and only you forever.

"You cant go, please…"

"I'll stay for the night"

You say getting worried again.

"I'll remember this forever…"

He gently kisses your forehead, his grasp still tightly onto your hand.

"You're not leaving….please…you can't…You, Mom, and Aaron are all I have left…"

"I have to go later though, I have early classes tomorrow. I'm sorry."

You say gently kissing his forehead, making sure he doesn't start crying. He tries to grab your arm, as a way to keep you near him. He didn't want to let go, he couldn't. What if someone got you, Or you and his dad shared the same fate? Just thinking about it sent a chill up his spine.

"Miles."

You felt his grip tighten as he was very desperate for you not to leave him.

"Listen. I live next door, I'll check on you after my roommates go to bed"

"Why not just stay here? Please… I don't want to be alone…"

"I'll stay over tonight."

He hugs you, refusing to let you go.

"Thank you…"

"Don't mention it."

You climb out of his window and bring a duffel bag with toiletries, an outfit for tomorrow, a pillow, and your sleeping bag. He was nice but you two were no way near close enough to share a bed. You had your reasons that he didn't pry into. He stares at the ceiling while you're on the ground next to his bed.

"Don't leave me…"

"I won't."

"Promise?"

You could practically hear the fear and trauma in his voice.

"Promise."

You say sticking your pinkie up in the air for you two to make a pinkie promise.

"Go to sleep, I'll still be here."

You both drift off to sleep. Your dreams were practically nonexistent and the pillows were both perfectly cold. This, this is true peace.

[multiple-authors]

6 August 2023 (part 2)

Spent the day in bed, napping. Eating. Finished the film. Watched Vampire Diaries because it’s comforting. I know what will happen since I grew up watching it. Felt guilty that I’ve let two days slip by. Hooked up with some guy this evening. He couldn’t be bothered to worry about catching anything so we did very low risk things. Was kind of empty the whole thing. Cycled home. Franny made tea. Was nice to catch up with her and Lily. I feel better about things. The pressure I feel is coming from myself, nobody else. I am always in control. I am in the driver’s seat. I am destined for greatness. Finish Barbie painting, finish laughing painting, finish fighting painting, finish tide painting. Then work smaller. Pieces which don’t require so much from me. Every five/six weeks make a bigger piece.

Green (blue), orange (red), yellow. closer to yellow Blue, green (yellow), purple (red). closer to blue purple (blue), orange (yellow), red. close to red

Post on Instagram in the morning, post before bed. Don’t scroll. No looking at what other people are doing. Trust myself. Stop looking at what other people are doing. Trust myself. No scrolling. No TikTok scrolling or Instagram scrolling. Only scroll once a week, or not at all. Five minute time limit. 

Give people close to me my number. Say I’ll reply faster on WhatsApp.

I realise I’m trying to find solutions to these problems. Social media strategy for myself. What is my relationship with it? How do I use it but not go crazy? or get stuck in the Matrix. 

Essay ideas: “I'm soaking wet”; “time doesn’t exist”; “my fragmented soul”; “after vulnerability”; “what it looks like to be vulnerable”; ‘what it feels like here”; “playing my part”.

I feel like I can’t quite get to the answer. It’s always just out of reach. I have this feeling that it’s... just out of reach. What is holding me back? Why do I feel so resistant right now. 

I get overwhelmed from spending too long on Instagram. Message me elsewhere for real connection. Email me. Don’t respond to Instagram DMs except once a week. Give people I want to chat to my number and chat there instead. 

My Social Media Boundaries - Literally only go on to post - When posting, post and then close the app. Nothing bad will happen. Reply to comments before posting the next  - No scrolling (to see what others are doing) except once a week. Do it with intention. Then do activity with friend straight after to get out of that state. - Reply to Instagram messages every three days. If need to organise something or appropriate to give faster replies, give number or email address.

Am I happy with these boundaries?

Line of production which is easy and I can just be in the flow making the work. Then have other projects which are more inventive, experimental and risk failure and new pastures.

Write a manifesto.

What is my answer to soakingwet000? A moniker. Write a manifesto. 

[citrineghost]

Avoiding Scams on Freelancing Sites

Hi there! I almost just got scammed today, and I’m going to take the LITTANY of red flags from this interaction and use it to teach you all about how to avoid scams.

I am not making very much money right now. I just lost one of the accounts I was writing for, so I am not not even making enough to pay my rent. So I am desperately looking for work. And, like many people desperately looking for work, my panicking subconscious is willing to see a red flag and brush it under the rug because

“I’m probably being paranoid.”

So, to all of my lovely artists, writers, editors, and other types of freelancers who are desperately looking for work, I would like to create a comprehensive list of things that you should NOT FUCKING IGNORE while looking for a job. Actually, the list will be formatted as things you should expect from your employer/interviewer and if these things are missing, get the fuck out of there.

1. Reputable Platforms

The first thing you should be expecting is to use reputable platforms. If you’re being asked for a virtual interview, you should expect your interviewer to invite you via Skype, Discord, (Maybe slack if they’re middle-aged), perhaps Whatsapp, or whatever website you’re using to find your job.

DO NOT go for interviews on Telegram. This app has been reported as very commonly being associated with scams. This is where my recent experience took place.

2. Willingness to Verify Legitimacy

The first thing you should do when being in contact with an interviewer or HR is ask them to verify their identity. 

This may not be necessary if doing a video call with someone pictured on an official company website, receiving emails or texts from addresses/numbers that are listed on an official company website, or if the job you’re being interviewed for was applied to directly on the company website. In these cases, you are not likely to be scammed, as you’re working with verifiably information.

If you meet someone on Indeed, Fiverr, Upwork, or any other freelancing/job site, keep your contact within the website’s chat system, email system, or whatever. This is how you remain protected under the hiring site’s TOS/Legal whatever. If you get scammed because you took your hiring process elsewhere, they will not help you.

That being said, if you DO take your interview off the site, it should be somewhere reputable and you should ask for your interviewer to verify their identity before doing literally anything else. The best way to get them to verify their identity is to ask them to email or text you from an address or phone number listed clearly on the official company website, by asking them to show you their state ID and checking it for photoshop influence, or by asking to do a video call for the interview and seeing for yourself that you’re being interviewed by someone who is pictured on the official company website as an employee.

3. Clear and Professional Procedures

Any professional working as an interviewer or human resources personnel will have a skillset related to communication and organization. When being interviewed you should expect a number of questions about your skills and how you’re valuable to the company, etc. However, this is easy to fake, as a scammer. What you need to look out for is that they show a clear amount of structure.

If you’re asked for an interview, no real company will demand you be quick about responding. If they’re interested in an interview, a legitimate company is not likely to ask you to do the interview immediately. They will ask you to schedule an interview time with them. They may ask if you have availabilities that day, but they will not just start interviewing you immediately.

After the interview, any professional company will tell you that they will get back to you when they’ve made a decision about your interview. No professional company will tell you to wait for an indefinite amount of time while they talk to HR peers. If a company Does want you to wait, because they intend to make a quick decision, they will give you an expected wait time, as that is the courteous and professional thing to do. They will not expect you to be on-call for this period of time. A time projection is simply to give you an idea of what to expect. For example, “I’ll be in touch within the next 1-3 hours about the results of your interview. Thank you for your time.”

Furthermore, if you are accepted for a job, any professional company will make a clear outline of exactly how they plan to introduce you into company life. They will respect your time and ask you to schedule things with them. For example, “Is there a period of 2-3 hours within the next few days where you would be available for an orientation?” 

No professional company will demand you do anything at any particular time. That is not how legitimate professionals treat new employees. You will be asked to schedule things with them. Even when you’re assigned work hours, if the exact hours you’re applying for are not listed in the job description you applied for, they will ask you to fill out some kind of time sheet to outline your availabilities, then schedule you for times within that outline.

4. Doesn’t Show Signs of Money Scamming

There are two major red flags when it comes to money scams. Your interviewer should never ask you what bank you use and your interviewer should never ever tell you they’re going to send you a check, unless they send your paycheck as a check.

One of the more common scams at the moment is run by people pretending to be members of legitimate companies, hiring freelancers for things like proofreading and editing. These remote positions may require home office hardware, right? The interviewer will tell you you’re missing some hardware and software that are required for the job. Then they’ll tell you that they will send a check that you can cash and use to buy the required materials.

This is even sketchier if they email you front and back images of the check and tell you to print it and then deposit it through mobile banking. The way this works is that, if you cash the check successfully, you will then buy the list of software, which is usually completely unrelated to the job you’re being hired for, then they will cancel the check, which hasn’t cleared completely. That leaves you with ~$2k dollars less in your bank and their money right back where it started in theirs. Presumably, the scammers are the ones selling the software. So, that $2k dollars you just spent is also going into their bank account.

Professional companies will never offer to send you checks to buy products. If they have official hardware or software that they want you to use, they will buy it themselves and then send it to you. There is never a reason why a new hire should buy hardware or software out of their own bank, whether they have been given money for it or not.

Furthermore, a legitimate company will never ever pay you before you have signed and sent your contract to them. One of the obvious giveaways of the scam I was almost caught in was that I was sent the contract last night and I asked if I could send it in today, since it was getting late. The interviewer agreed. I signed it in the morning and then asked him if I should send it in a reply to the email I got the original contract from or if there’s another email I need to send it to. He completely ignored my question, asked me how I was doing, and then went into the check-related information so I could buy software.

The issue was bothering me ALL DAY. I knew there was something extremely weird about that, so I asked again a few hours later. His response? “You have nothing to worry about.” ?????? I was aghast. I wasn’t worried at all! I just wanted an answer! If he had simply told me to respond to the email I’d gotten the contract from, I might have fallen for his scam! What a terrible scammer smdh

A Non-Exhaustive List of Other Red Flags

Your interviewer shows a poor grasp on the language

If your interviewer is making frequent grammatical errors that are glaringly obvious to any native speaker, that is a huge red flag. HR reps and interviewers are hired because of their communication skills. It is highly unlikely that someone who makes non-native-like errors is legitimate unless they are actually openly non-native, in which case, it’s not so alarming.

Your interviewer is showing impatience or demanding you at certain times

If your interviewer is telling you to “report back by 8am tomorrow” without any kind of prior agreement that this is an acceptable time for you to meet, that is extremely unprofessional and shows a lack of patience. Scammers want to get to the meat of their scam quickly and will use an air of professional superiority and authority to scare you into moving faster than necessary.

Your interviewer shows a lack of opening and closing statements

Along the lines of the clear processes that I mentioned above anybody who is initiating you in the job you’re taking should show clear opening and closing statements. What I mean by this is: professionals in human resources or management positions will not keep you as a social hostage. If you’ve been discussing how you’ll begin training or somesuch, they will not just leave you hanging. You should have a dedicated time slot where you will have your discussion and, at the end of it, your supervisor should make a closing statement. For example, “It looks like our time is running out for today. What would be a good time to pick this up tomorrow?”

If you feel like you are “on-call” and unable to leave the room because the interviewer or supervisor keeps messaging, has not outlined a time slot for you to talk in, won’t seem to let you go, or shows no indication of stopping, that is a really bad sign. Either the company is legitimate and TERRIBLE at professionalism (a great sign you should run anyway), or this is a scammer intent on getting you to follow their instructions as soon as they can.

Your interviewer ignores time zones or gets them wrong

When I was contacted about doing an interview yesterday, it was 4:30pm. I did the interview and was told I got the job. Immediately after, without asking if I was free, he began listing off instructions and things I was to expect. It wasn’t until 7:30pm that he sent me the contract and asked me to review it, sign it, and send it back that I finally asked if I could do that tomorrow. The interviewer was supposedly on the west coast and knew that I was on the east coast. He agreed by saying “Alright” and then told me to report to him “by 8am your time.”

There are 3 things about this that are weird. The first is that he demanded I show up at 8am to continue where we left off. Any professional would have asked when I’m available the next day to continue. the second is that he said “your time” instead of saying EST, as most professionals in the US would be apt to do. And, lastly, I showed up at 7:50am, ready to continue, because I’m that desperate that I’m willing to be pushed around, and he showed up at 9am on the dot. He had gotten the time wrong. Nobody who works professionally on the west coast is incapable of adding 3 hours to their time. It was a rookie mistake, or a mistake made by someone in a completely different time zone than they say they are.

When asked to verify their identity, your interviewer attempts to reassure you or refuses

When I finally was fed up and knew this must be a scam, I politely asked my interviewer to verify his identity by either showing me his US ID or by contacting me from his email or phone number listed on the official company website. He sent me a photoshopped nametag with a completely different person’s name and photo on it and said it was the company ID of the HR director. 

I have never seen a facade fall so pathetically. Why would literally any even remotely legitimate person do such a thing? It was sad, really. He deleted the message in less than a minute - no doubt to keep me from looking at it long enough to see how badly it was photoshopped - and then aggressively reassured me that the company meant me no harm and would pay for everything, etc. Any real professional would have simply sent me an email from the legitimate address, stating that they’re legitimate, and then continued on with the initiation process.

Learn from My Mistakes

I hope some of this was helpful for all of you lovely freelancers trying to find work. I thought I would know a scam when I saw one, and I did have a Bad Feeling about this whole thing, because it did feel too good to be true, but I was desperate enough that my judgement was heavily clouded, and that could happen to anyone.

Don’t ignore red flags - especially these ones. Stick up for yourself. Avoid confirmation bias. I looked things up repeatedly to confirm that the company was legitimate and that it’s normal to do things like mobile deposit a printed check and so on. Every time, I found an explanation that suited me. I even tried to cash the check. The only reason it didn’t work was because there was an error with the name on the check because I recently legally changed my name and PayPal was having some kind of issue updating in some areas of its website. It was after that that I realized this was all crashing down and I needed to reassess it all. Don’t let yourself get that deep into it.

[levisgirll]

oki it me again uWu back with another request because I really enjoyed the first one!!!💗💗 couldn't find the exact words to phrase this but what about aomine (from Kuroko no basuke) as your boyfriend in university. I look forward to what you will write!!

𝐀𝐨���𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐃𝐚𝐢𝐤𝐢 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐔𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝

text: hello again!! thank you so much for reading my posts and the fact that you like them makes me happy c: 💗💗 I'm glad you enjoyed the other request so, I hope you enjoy this! (also, aomine is my second fav in knb ^^ he's just so attractive oml-)

synopsis: aomine daki, the great basketballer player at your university is your boyfriend! how is it like to have aomine as your boyfriend though? and how does he act with you? (get ready for this-)

Once Aomine is your boyfriend, get ready cause this guy will show off and flex a lot when it comes to you. Whenever you stay and watch his practices, he flexes a lot with his back muscle and he would turn around if YOU saw that. You are just sitting there, all blushed while covering your face, "Oh god, this idiot..."

Sometimes, the basketball club would invite student for 'Learning the basics of Basketball' and the first person he wants to invite is, of course, his girlfriend. While he is waiting for her, he would just sit in the bench and lots of people go to him for help, but he would ignore everyone and say he is tired and to leave him alone. But once he sees you, y/n, entering he is all energetic and comes running to you. "Aomine, let me change wait" , "But darling, I was waiting for like 10 minutes...you have to make up for that."

Once everyone leaves and its just you two, he gets all hyped up cause he loves it when you are alone with him. He gets extra clingy towards you and keeps on hugging you and you can feel his tensed muscular body. "Sweetheart, you looked amazing today."

Okay but this guy, would fuck up and beat any guy that even showed any sort of disrespect. He is not standing there with a glare or bumping into them if someone laughs, or says something mean to you. He will go up to that person and hold them up while saying "Okay, you started this. Come here."  You have to stop him before he gets physical towards them, "Aomine! Stop!! They just said to me to move". "Yea, 'Move you', what the fuck is that? Asshole, learn some manners! Do you know who you even spoke to!"

This guy is smart, so he knows all your university spots, so don't be surprised if you see him out of nowhere. "Hey its that guy! He is always following you!" Kagami would yell out, "Fuck, you have some stalker Y/N" Kagami would say while glaring at him, he was your university best friend. "That's my b-boyfriend."

Your man will also buy you a lot of snacks, and if you say you skipped breakfast. He is dragging you to the university café and will force you to eat after he buys you food.

Oh my god, your boyfriend loves to tease you A LOT. Like there wont be a day he wont tease you. If you somehow changed up your hairstyle, he will make a huge scene. "No WAY! Sweetheart, you look so good! Wow, that's my GIRL! You all heard that??!"

Aomine makes you laugh like crazy, and there also wont be a day he wont make you laugh. He just loves it whenever he hears your beautiful laugh and small giggles, he founds it so cute and you really warm his heart whenever he hears that.

He will never forgive himself if he ever made you upset or cry. Aomine will probably think about it the whole day and he will keep spamming you "I'm sorry" multiple times. If you don't reply back, he would come to your lecture hall and he is gonna make a scene. "Y/N I SAID IM SORRY!"

You definitely boost his ego, like crazy. Whenever he feels low before a match he would call you and he just wants to hear his girlfriends voice motivating him. "Aomine, don't worry you got this! Besides, didn't you tell me the only one who can beat you...is you?" "Fuck, you are right. Darling, I'm gonna win this and I'll come and hug u after this match. Wait for 20 minutes" And he actually does it.

This guy sticks with his words, so if you tell him meet up at 2 pm. He is there at 2pm waiting for you. If he says he will do literally anything for you, he fucking will.

Once he got, really upset and emotional and he said to you during a call at midnight. "Y/N, Dont leave me like how everyone does.". You then recalled about him telling you about this past and how his old teammates left him, so you would say "I wont, I'm your girlfriend aren't I?" And he is up on his bed all hyped hearing that, "Can I see you now!" "Aomine it's 2am and I have a quiz tomorrow bye, shutting my phone love you!" But this guy wont leave you and spam you in EVERY social media. "Nice try, but I know you have discord on your laptop. Wait, I see you online I'm calling you now."

One time, he came to your huge lecture hall and he sat right next to you, and he would just turn and look at you, focusing on what you are doing, and play around with your stuff and hair. "Aomine, I am trying to focus!" You say all blushed and can't even write anything on your notebook. "Of course, cause you are focusing on me right? Sweetheart, I know, I know I am great." Now you wanna smack him.

Whenever he sees you, he gives you that hot smirk of his and it gives you butterflies. "Ha! Wow literally everything I do, you love it don't you?" . Y/N then turns to him and gives a small chuckle, "Don't get ahead of yourself, Aomine." He then goes near you and lays his arm on your shoulder, bring you closer and he would whisper to your ear "Why not? your my girl so, I want to impress you."

You both love it whenever you guys hold hands around university, this guy is really tall so you always feel so relaxed and also great when your boyfriend squeezes your hand, and walks you to your lecture. "Okay now try to focus on your lecture and not your mind all about me alright?"

He actually loves it when you cheer for him and that really boost not only his ego but rather his self-confidence. "Y/N! I'm gonna win this match for you!" He would yell out during the match and everyone is looking at you.

He would go for academic help for you sometimes and you guys meet up in the library to study. You are the reason he passed some subjects, don't get me wrong, he is intelligent but super lazy.

His wallpaper is a selfie of you both and he looks at that before every match. He sometimes pecks his phone when he finds a picture of you.

Speaking about his phone, this guy has a folder with just you, all your pictures, screenshots of chats, even screen records of your voice notes and videos. He just loves you dearly, and he gets so fucking mad if someone touches or even goes near that gallery. He protects that with all his life, your pictures are important and he is not the type of guy to show his friends your pictures, in fact he hates that! "My folder, my girl, and no one gets to see that. Go away."

Whenever he is bored or isn't doing nothing, he would open his phone, and check every social media app to see your online status. "Oh OH, I see you online darling! Answer me, wanna go out and get ice cream? Please say yes."

He is actually such a great motivator and brings your mood up whenever you feel like giving up during university. He won't allow that, like never. "What so you will just give up? Stop? After all this time, you let this one test fuck you up? Don't you dare let that bring you down, you idiot." He actually even inspires you.

Before you go for the whole day cause you had to work on your report he would say "Smile for me one last time?"

When he sees you from afar, he would yell out and say "That's my girl! Don't move, I'm coming for you!" And this guy jumps at you with his embraces and sometimes picks you up. "L-Love put me down!!"

He actually loves teasing you like that in public, he wants everyone to know that are are HIS girl and his only.

He messages you during his practices and even would skip practice to see you.

Y/N: Oh you don't have practice today?

Aomine: Nope! And besides, I am the captain so doesn't matter. (He is not the captain- its akashi but lies)

He says that and then goes on how he knows everything about basketball and the team and he keeps doing that till you can compliment him ‘Please Y/N say anything’ he would think and you know that but tease him back not saying anything.

*meanwhile in his basketball groupchat* 

Kise: aomine, WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU?!

Akashi: Probably ran off to see his girl.

Atsushi: Whatever, my chance to leave and eat outside.

Kuroko: Can I join you?

Atsushi: No.

You would treat his injuries and he would just sit there, looking at you with a smirk.

Aomine: "Oh yea, here even hurts darling!"

Y/N: "Love....you are lying aren't you?"

Aomine: "What! No!...Maybe?" 

You let out a sigh "Ah, you are an idiot...stop hurting yourself all the time." He would suddenly lift your chin up and say "You know...that I love you yea? You also better tell me everything and if you need help, just say it" He can be really soft and sweet sometimes, but he gets all cringy and shy about it and he gets up rubbing the back of his head. "I-I mean that's what a boyfriend does right?! Come on, get up I'm taking you out."

Okay, I hope you enjoy this and anyone who did! Aomine is such a dork but a sweetheart and I can see most of this happening :,) 

If anyone enjoyed reading this, please then leave a like or a reblog! It means a lot and have a great day <3

[inti-chan]

Title: From The Grave

Word count: 1.8k

I am a writer. And recently I've been in a situation I couldn't believe could happen to anyone..... I'm really shocked..... I wouldn't believe it even if my own best friend told me this.... Without further ado let's get started.

A month ago I started writing in an app. After uploading my first story I was waiting patiently for someone to read it and leave a comment. A week went by but there was nothing.....

One day I opened the app and checked. Still nothing but a certain writer's story caught my attention. The writer seems amazing. A lot of people reads their stories and leaves nice comments. In fact I've seen this writer giving really sweet comments to other people. I read that story and I absolutely loved it! I couldn't stop myself from commenting on it. It was just too good. All of her stories were too good.

The next day I checked the app. And today she commented on my story! I was so happy. I thanked her. And after that surprisingly my stories got some popularity too but not as much as hers. Still I was content with whatever I had.

As days went by I realized how sweet and caring she is... I really wanna be her best friend. I really do. She had provided her Id of an app (I'm not mentioning the name) in her bio. I really want to talk with her. So, despite being shy and hesitant I downloaded the app and created an account then sent her a request. I put my phone away thinking she wouldn't accept it.

Later at night I checked. Oof. Silly me! Why did I put my phone away?! She accepted my request immediately and even sent me a message. I'm really disappointed in myself for making her wait. I apologized and she said it's okay.

After that we started chatting everyday. As days went by we became good friends. She's really easy to talk to. Also she's super sweet and caring. I'm really grateful to have a friend like her. I've never met anyone quite like her. She's really special.

It's been months since we became friends. From what I heard we don't live too far from eachother. I want to meet her but I'm too shy to ask her. Now a days I type a message like that and cut it almost everyday.

It's been 2 weeks and I still didn't ask her a thing. But I will today. It's now or never. I typed a message as I thought that and this time I sent it instead of cutting it.

It's been hours and she isn't replying. At night I was checking my phone and she still didn't reply. I was starting to lose hope and was about to go to bed when I heard my phone buzz.

It must be her I thought and I was right. Our conversation went like this.

Her: Are you sure?

Me: Yes, I'm sure.

Her: I don't think you'd want to meet if you knew the whole truth.

Me: What truth?

Her: Please don't ask.

Me: Okay. I won't ask. But please can we meet?

She's not answering again.... I'm waiting but she's not answering. I guess I pissed her off. I don't know when but I fell asleep as I was waiting.

The next morning she still didn't reply. But something in me just wouldn't give up for some reason. I don't know why... But I was desperate. I told her that I wanted to meet her. And whatever I didn't know won't bother me either.

She just sent the address right after I sent the message. I told her I was going as I went out my door.

I went to the given address. The place was really quiet. There were no other houses to seen within sight. It was already getting dark when I reached there. The house seemed old and.... Abandoned......

It seems like no one was in there. I messaged her again.

Me: Where are you?

Her: Come to the backyard. And you'll find me......

I went there straight. But what greeted me was not a human but an open grave....... A bony hand was waving at me..... I rubbed my eyes.... But it was still waving. And then after a while it went down...

I was petrified. The phone in my hand buzzed. I took a peak......

Her: Now do you see me?

Me: Yes .....

Her: Do you still want to stay?

Me: What happened?

(I don't where the courage came from. But I asked. Actually now that I realize I actually knew nothing about her. We always talked about me or other stuff. She never really said much about herself and I never asked. I'm honestly feeling guilty now.)

Her: They buried me alive.......

Me: Why? And when?

Her: I was 15 when that happened and now it's been almost 2 years now.......

I was waiting for her to say more but she was quite.

Me: Continue.

I tried to encourage her.

Her: My parents....... They did this to me. They were foster parents...... They wanted the whole property to be theirs I guess...... That's... why......

Me: Oh my goodness.........

I was out of words and on the verge of tears....

Her: I'm so lonely.......

I felt her soul call out to me. After I don't know what happened but I'm heading towards her grave as if I was hypnotized or something.....

Her rotten body greeted me. She's smiling at me and I smiled back. For some reason I'm not scared. She raised both of her hands towards me like a baby who wants her mother to sleep with her. I too like a loving mother joined her. After that I buried us both into an eternal slumber.

Now both of us are here together writing this story for all of you to read. We've been here for 2 years and I must say that the dark grave is so comfy......

[auramindedd]

Talent ||

Desc: You and your new friends decide to a drunk Among Us game. You have lots of fun and you’re glad to be able to have amazing friends like them. After ending the stream and sobering up, Corpse asks you something you’d never thought you’d be asked.

Warnings: Cussing, drinking

Notes: i’m using these fake social media apps bc they’re fun &’ i like using them for messaging and twitterrrr! i hope you guys don’t mind them! <3

also, i’m super sorry for not posting in a while. my motivation comes and goes, but right now i have lots of it.

i wanna work on an smau series so, be on the look out for that! :))

——————————————————————————

“No balls!” Rae shouts, daring you to kill Jack who is trying to get something out of the vending machine, but him being drunk as fuck doesn’t help.

“I have three, actually.” You joke. Both you and Rae burst into a fit of laughter, but not for long since Jack goes up to you two.

“What are you two laughing about?” He asks, laughing with you guys even though he has no idea what he’s laughing about. Gosh, Jack, you’re really making it hard for me to kill you right now, you think to yourself.

“This,” You answer, killing him. You and Rae run away, screaming whenever you see someone. Thank God for everyone being drunk or else you two would be sussed out for being complete maniacs.

“Y/N,” Rae whispers. She gestures towards the green room and you can see Sykkuno watering the plants.

“No!” You whisper-yell. You’ve become Rae’s hitman, Brooke being the other Imposter. You need someone to vouch for you so, you don’t mind being by Rae the whole time.

“Hey, Sykunno!” Rae shouts when Sykkuno walks out. He’s slurring over his words, trying to say ‘hey’ back. Yeah, no way you’re killing him.

“See? Absolutely no fucking balls. Small dick, too.” Rae taunts. You want to kill her, but if you do, you’d immediately get voted off. So, you kill Sykkuno instead. It hurt, but you had to show Rae what’s up.

“How come no bodies have been reported?” You ask to nobody in particular, just wondering out loud.

“I’m good at hiding them.” Corpse jokes from behind you, scaring both you and Rae. Corpse knows how sensitive you are to any sound when it comes down to places that are quiet, and since only you and Rae have been together, his voice was the cause of your overdramatic ass scream. Playing along, Rae starts screaming with you two, the both of you being extremely obnoxious.

You know that he was just joking about hiding the bodies because Brooke is your partner for this round. You’re not even sure how Corpse isn’t dead yet.

“Okay, okay, I get it.” Corpse chuckles. “I won’t sneak up on you like that anymore.” You and Rae stop screaming, relieving Corpse’s poor eardrums of being blown.

Rae starts running around you in circles while you and Corpse are in the middle of a conversation. You know what she’s hinting at, but you decide to ignore her. You’re not going to kill Corpse.

“No balls!” Rae shouts competively.

“What?” Corpse asks, sounding confused.

“I have so many, Rae, you don’t even know, but I’m not gonna- I’m not gonna kill Corpse.” Good going, Y/N, you think to yourself. Well, now you have to kill him.

Corpse starts running away and you do everything your drunk ass can do to catch him and kill him. He’s laughing, running into walls, you doing the same. Finally, you’re able to kill him.

Rae catches up to your avatar, laughing maniacally. She cheers you on, knowing that’s the only way that you’ll continue to be her hitman. Jack, Sykkuno, and Corpse. You’re not even sure if Brooke has killed anyone.

“Brooke! Brooke, have you killed anyone yet?” You try to be quiet, but your shitface drunk and you don’t think that’s working.

“No, have you?” She asks, trying to be quiet, too.

“Yeah, three people. I’m Rae’s hitman.”

“Okay, I’ll do better.” And with that, she’s off to go kill people.

———

“His body was in the hallway to Decontam... I think, don’t quote me on that.” Dream says, slightly slurring on his words.

“There’s 4 bodies and we’ve only found one? What the fuck?” Charlie sounds exhausted and you can’t help but laugh.

“Sorry,” You try and catch your breath, but once you do, you’re still giggling a bit. “Sorry, that was funny.”

Everybody else starts laughing and eventually, the voting time ends and nobody is voted out.

Wow, a tactic you didn’t even mean to use actually worked. It’s either because of how drunk everyone is or because of how contagious your laugh is - a lot of people call it cute and adorable.

———

You guys decide to end the game, everyone else ending their streaming while you just close your laptop. You all seemed to sober up towards the end, none of you wanting to drink anymore. Right now, you’d say you’re 85% sober. Taking a shower and drinking lots of water should have you good and all sobered up.

After taking a shower and getting a cold bottle of water, you lay in bed, watching random Minecraft speedbuilds of people building cute cottages.

You get a DM from none other than Corpse Husband. You smile to yourself before answering.

———

You wake up with a minor headache. Last night, you’d say that the Minecraft speedbuilds helped sober you up, but right now, you know it was the cold shower and cold water bottle.

You remember the text message Corpse had sent you, about wanting to check up on you. You two have only known each other for about a week or two now, and you two haven’t really talked. It’s nice, though - having someone who wants to check up on you. He’s done it these last three days you’ve played with him and his friends.

You text Corpse, telling him you can talk on the phone now. You both have been trying to plan to talk to each other just so you guys can get closer. You and Corpse relate to a lot of things and talking in Among Us with proximity chat and Corpse’s stream, it’s not the best way to have a deep conversation.

“Hi,” You greet him, placing your phone down that way you can make breakfast and talk to him. He wanted to FaceTime, and you’re not sure why because he said he’d be covering his camera. It’s fine with you.

“Good morning, Y/N. What are you up to?” A small yawn escapes his lips.

“Making some chocolate chip pancakes.” You grab your phone, showing him the pan that’s mostly filled with chocolate chips.

“Gosh, Y/N, want some pancakes with your chocolate chips?” He chuckles. You giggle, placing the phone back down and turning the camera to face you.

“I’m an amazing cook, puh-lease. I know what I’m doing.”

“I think we’ll have to test that theory.”

“You live like 2 hours away from me, how are we gonna do that?” You ask him, placing a pancake on your plate. You put more butter on the pan before putting more pancake mix on.

“I’d 100% drive two hours to your apartment just to try out your food.” He says. You smile at him, shaking your head and rolling your eyes playfully. “Speaking of going to each other’s houses, I have a question.”

“What’s up?”

He chuckles nervously, “Do you maybe want to collab?”

You’re caught offguard by this. You quickly put your pancake on your plate before answering.

“I’d love to.” You’re able to contain your excitement, surprisingly. “But Corpse, if you’re not comfortable with meeting me, we can find some way to do it over the phone. I really don’t think it’d be that hard. You could record your parts and I cou-”

Corpse cuts your rant off, chuckling a little bit. You smile sheepishly, taking a bite out of your pancakes.

“I’ll be fine, Y/N.”

“Okay,” You give him a small smile. “We can make plans later.”

“Good,” He says and you can hear a smile in his voice.

“Good,”

You and Corpse talk about anything and everything, alternating from really deep conversations to lighthearted, funny ones. Lots of laughing, but also lots of crying on your end. Corpse telling you that it’s okay and that everything will be okay is your new favorite thing. You never knew how much those two phrases would be changed just by coming from a different person. They never really meant anything when they came from anyone else - as much as you appreciated people reassuring you. But hearing it from Corpse, it really did feel like everything was going to be okay.

You two end the call, both of you being busy today. He promised to call you more often and you did the same.

——————————————————————————

Taglist:: Updating it tonight, comment or message me if you want to be added!

@bakugonua @emsies-dream @i-love-scott-mccall @anyasthoughts @diesinspanishbcimhispanic @campcampie @happyheartsss @izthefangirl @just-that-bi-girl @fire-heart-raven @tayloryorkscurls

——————————————————————————

Tags:: ignore

[johasissues]

early thoughts on The Ssum: Forbidden Lab

It’s what we’ve all been waiting for; The Ssum is finally out, 4 years after the release of the beta and multiple release delays. So what’s all the fuss about?

... I’m not really sure! But I will do my best to lay it out for you - below the cut!

The Good Things

Teo

He seems like a sweet guy. I appreciate that he doesn’t seem as instantly enamored as some otome love interests can be. I’m excited to learn more about him.

I’m doing the Day 2 lunch chat as I am writing this review, and I would like to reiterate that he is genuinely very sweet. I enjoy the way he writes, it feels very distinct. He reminds me a bit of Ray and Yoosung in terms of the way he talks about things.

The interface

The new UI and interface is super neat. Personally a big fan of how you can change themes, although I don’t really have anything to choose from yet.

Labs

I personally find the labs to be a lot of fun, but I also understand that a lot of people aren’t fan of them. To me, it’s a good way to connect with the community to some degree without having to join discord servers or generally be active online.

If you see a Josephine (u6A0zZ) talking about Saeran in one of the Mystic Messenger labs, then that is probably me. Feel free to shoot me a message and say hi! I would love to chat (both on the app and here on Tumblr).

The Okay Things

Energy incubation

This is just a silly thing to me. Maybe it’s because I don’t understand it. There seems to be a trick to it, but I don’t get it. Anyway, I don’t actively dislike it, I’m just not a fan of grinding based mechanics.

Teo’s slow typing speed

Maybe I’m just a fast texter, who plays Mystic Messenger on the highest speed, but god Teo types like 1 word a minute. The game isn’t meant to be played like MM though, so I can overlook it as I can just put down my phone and walk away.

Tutorials

There are many tutorials, and not all of them do a sufficient job at explaining what the features actually do. It can be a bit frustrating having to guess why I have to do certain things other than just because it’s fun

At least they are short.

Sunshine Shelter

Again, a feature I don’t understand the point of. Why am I raising alien tamagochis?

The Bad Things

Lab Official Commercial Channel

Cheritz, why? Just stop it.

Subscription price

It is very expensive, and from what I can gather from people who have paid the subscription, it does not give me more of what I personally wanted from it - more chats and calls with Teo.

To me, it would make more sense if it was a one-time purchase like the calling cards in Mystic Messenger. The steep monthly price seems like a cash grab.

Locked/paid features

This includes paid (battery) answer, private account, changing your schedule, etc.

I’m a big believer in free to play games, and I understand that Cheritz is a company that needs to make money. But dang. There are so many things you need to pay for access to.

Overall, it’s a very mixed experience that is very different from what I expected. I knew it would be different from Mystic Messenger, as Cheritz is allowed to make new and different games, but I think overall I expected more chats and less... Other features. It is fair that they have less chats, as there is only one character to talk to, although they hint at there eventually being more characters (or versions of Teo?) in the future.

But I think overall I am excited for what’s in store for this game - to see where the journey takes us... To the space station, maybe? lol

[zambie-trashart]

I Don’t Own an IPhone: Wanna Trade? Chapter 2

Masterlist

Previous: “Oh. My. Rao!” Jon screamed in the lobby and his body trembled with panicked breaths as a hand found its way to his shoulder. Jon looked at the person attempting to comfort him and saw a girl with ombre hair, dark skin, and glasses. “Merci?” Jon said confused but sending the girl a grateful smile. Fuck you Murphy’s Law.

.......

Chapter 2: I Just Realized My Boyfriend is a Dick

“I speak english sweetheart, what seems to be the problem?” she asked.

“I think I- no I know I switched phones with someone back in America before getting on the plane and now they have my phone somewhere, probably looking through my messages, my pictures, oh Rao my pictures,” Jon said and another wave of panic spread through the teen and the girl chuckled slightly.

“What scared the poor person is gonna see some package they weren’t expecting?” she asked having the audacity to laugh.

“Yeah, my rich famous boyfriend’s,” Jon said shaking her by the shoulders and her face sombered up.

“Well, let’s see what we can do to get you your phone back, I’m Alya.”

“Jon Kent,” Jon said and Alya’s eyes widened.

“As in like Lois Lane’s son?” Alya asked smiling widely. “As in like dating Damian Wayne Jonathan Kent?” Alya asked smile growing bigger than the Joker’s. “I can see why you need that phone back now.”

“I was supposed to be meeting the owner of the phone’s friends here, you wouldn’t happen to be friends with a girl named Marinette right cause I mean your name is Alya and she mentioned....” Jon started and Alya laughed as a boy came over to join her.

“Nino you’re not going to believe this, Marinette traded phones with that stranger that we’re supposed to show around,” Alya said laughing so hard she was almost crying now and Nino joined in the giggles.

“This isn’t funny as much as I want to trust your friend, she has no idea what kind of stuff is on my phone… she doesn’t even know who I am,” Jon said shaking Alya’s shoulders.

“You know your own phone number right? Why not just call it from the phone as an emergency call, and I do know her password if that’s a problem,” Alya said trying to calm down the panicked teen. “Also I don’t think Mari would be the type to leak those kinds of things,” Alya said nudging Jon who rolled his eyes. There weren’t even any dick picks on his phone, more like mission statements that had the exact time and place he was supposed to meet the heroes and stuff that could totally compromise his identity. He just hoped that Damian put a password on it.

Marinette stared up at the ceiling as the phone next to her kept buzzing. She didn’t want to be rude and look especially since Jon wouldn’t do the same with her phone, at least she hoped not but whoever this was really needed to stop texting. She picked up the phone and the screen opened almost immediately. No password.

From Dami: Beloved have you landed yet? Jon are you ok? Did something happen? I knew this was a bad idea. Let me call my father and I’ll be over there right away. He said I couldn’t go, that we needed space but please text me back so I know you’re ok Jon.

Marinette felt guilty for what she was about to do but if it would soothe the boy of the other end’s nerves about sweet Jon for even a moment, she would do it.

To Dami: Nothing is wrong, I just landed.

Marinette texted back nervously and she shut the phone off feeling dirty for lying to her new friend’s boyfriend. It was wrong, so wrong. Marinette picked up the phone and started scrolling through the pictures app curiously. It couldn’t help to indirectly get to know her new friend through pictures.

From Dami: Good to hear beloved, I was getting worried, get some rest we can talk tomorrow.

Marinette clicked on the text gnawing on her bottom lip. Did Jon seem like the type to say I love you after all this? There were no previous texts so it was obviously a new phone with no backups saved.

To Dami: I’ll do that, love you.

She responded and the text was left on read. “What an asshole,” Marinette said to herself before clicking back on the pictures app a bunch of pictures of a white dog with various people filled most of his camera roll as she scrolled through. Pictures of people who must have been family based on the glasses and familiar face shape took up a bunch too but one picture stood out to her the most. It was a selfie taken by a masked teen pressing his lips up to Superboy’s. She dropped the phone on the ground. “Shit.”

Jon paced against the floors of Alya and Nino’s apartment nervously. 

“Dude calm down, we’ll get this all figured out ok?” Nino said and Jon nodded as Nino called his phone number again with no answer. 

“Oh my Rao that asshole,” Jon said suddenly and Alya looked offended.

“Listen I’m sure Marinette just doesn’t want to answer on a stranger’s phone or she’s asleep, no reason to name call,” Alya said offended.

“Not her, Damian, he must have changed the phone number after it got leaked last week, I was missing my phone then suddenly Damian gets me a new one, it all makes sense now and now I have no idea what the number is,” Jon said burying his head in his hands. “That also means that my old one is in Marinette’s but that won’t help either,” Jon said slumping, pushing the Iphone across the table roughly.

“Wait did you say boyfriend?” Nino asked after a moment.

“Is that a problem here, Marinette seemed ok with it and so did Alya so,” Jon started looking panicked not wanting to lose one of the two people who could help him through this hectic circumstance.

“No not at all, it’s just Mari and Adrien have been off their game lately, maybe you could pretend to text Adrien as Marinette but you know flirtier a you style, you guys are a lot alike,” Nino suggested and Alya smirked.

“More like twins, but he’s got a point, I’m sure Marinette would do the same in your situation,” Alya said and Jon picked up the phone seeing a text from a weird name: Chaton.

“Who the hell is Chaton?” Jon asked and Alya looked at Nino and panicked. 

“Um, Marinette thinks our resident hero Chat Noir looks a little like Adrien it’s just a joke they have going on,” Alya said and Jon shrugged before remembering.

“You guys have heroes here, I forgot about that, do they like patrol or something it might be nice to get a glimpse of them,” Jon said attempting to get the information that was supposed to be on his phone from the Parisians.

“Yeah, they’re normally out at night and thanks to the time change you might just be able to see them at some point,” Nino said smiling.

Jon looked back down at the phone smiling. Perfect.

From Chaton: I’ll miss you tonight, good luck in Gotham.  I’m also sorry about earlier, I should have been nicer to you about the whole leaving thing. Dad’s just been getting worse lately, he never has any time left. Not like he ever did before though.

Jon had no idea how to react. Nino looked uncomfortable reading over his shoulder and Alya sighed.

To Chaton: It’s ok, I forgive you, I’m a bit tired after the flight, I’ll text you tomorrow though, I love you.

Jon hit send and got hit with a read. Jerk.

Nino put a hand on his shoulder. “Let’s take you to your hotel and get you settled it,” Nino said and they left the comfort of the apartment. All Jon could think about was how bad he felt for poor Marinette.

taglist (open)

@jumpingjoy82 @liquid-luck-00 @megaafangirl @zorua-adorable @dreamykitty25 @pinkittwice @ghostdragonfang @ramos123 @redbullgivescaswings @jayjayspixiepop @sekhmet5 @blur-of-colours @roseisred  @nightlychaotic @ladybug-182 @novaloptr @prettylittlebutterflie @hammalammadamdam @niknak-3​ @certainmuffinbagelcalzone ​

[iguessilovebakugou]

In Search of Silver Linings, We Discovered Gold ||  Bakugou x Fem!Reader (x Shinsou) ||  Happier pt 3 ||  Series

I really feel like Sleeping At Last’s “Two” resonates with Shinsou in this one.  But also for the Reader towards Bakugou just like...in general.  Also, I would suggest Gang of Youth’s “Achilles, Come Down” as well. And Lauren Aquilina’s “Fools”. 

One day I’m going to make a playlist for this fucking series - and then you bitches will be sorry.  

I’m sorry it took so long to get this part out.  I feel like nothing I would write would live up to what I did 2 years ago now.  So I really hope that people like this one just as much as the others. 

Part One!  Part Two!

Word Count:  7.7K TW:  Smooching, Death Mention

“Hey, you okay?”

It should be so easy to explain to them what you were feeling.  They where there with you.  They went through the same thing you had, right?  You were right there with Ochaco, sat right by her side and watched her tell Mr. Aizawa...you should be able to just...

“Yeah,”  You offered Asui a bright smile.  “Just...tired.  These make up classes are just...they’re really killer, you know?”

The dorm had been quiet by the time the raid team had made their way home from their extra classes. Everyone had already gone to bed, the common area devoid of life by the time you had settled on the couches. And you were happy for it.  Ever since...well, it had been a bit harder to be around everyone.  It was hard to come to terms with the fact that after everything that had happened, happened.  And you were supposed to just...move on from it.  Keep going forward.  No time to process.

You pulled out your phone to check your messages.  You had hoped Shinsou would have at least texted you - but you had been left on read.  You tried not to be upset about it and instead, pretended to go to another app and check your messages there.  You even got comfortable and put an arm behind your head - yep, perfectly relaxed and not at all wanting to break down on the inside.  

Tsu’s big bright eyes stared down at you.  You wondered if she felt the same - if Kirishima, Izuku or Ochaco felt the same.  You wondered if sometimes, during class, they just lifted their heads, looked around at your classmates and felt...so out of place.  The only way you could describe it was like stumbling in the middle of a skit being performed in the middle of a park, and no one seemed to quite realize you weren’t actually an extra.

But you didn’t want to run the risk of looking at her.  If she looked at you, she might realize that you hadn’t come to terms with what happened - with Nighteye, Lemillion, with that poor girl, Eri.  And that wouldn’t do.  That might lead into her asking what was wrong.  And what were you supposed to do then?  Answer her honestly?  Come to terms with your feelings like a rational, level headed adult?

You?  Nah. Never.

“Yeah, you’re right.”  Once you were certain her back was towards you, you risked a glance in her direction.  

Your body ached, your eyes were sore, and your mind felt blank but busy at the same time.  You weren’t sure where to begin with everything, where to start with trying to catch up.  But this had become your norm, and as sad as it was, it felt like your body was accommodating to the drama that had become commonplace in your life.  You watched as she met Ochaco at the base of the steps leading up to the rooms.  She seemed surprised when you didn’t move to join them, turning to give you a concerned glance and a lip pout - for extra measure.  

You smiled, lifting up your phone and giving it a little wave.  “I think I’m just going to hang out down here before heading to bed.”

“Oh,”  She muttered softly.  “Okay, if you’re sure?”

You knew she wasn’t buying the act - whatever it was - in the slightest.  You knew Nighteye’s death hit her hard.  A lot harder than you.  As it should have - you had tried to use your quirk to defend her and Nighteye, only to be overpowered and rendered unconscious when it mattered most so you weren’t technically cognizant when she had made her getaway.  But it must have been terrible, holding a man in your arms as he died.��  And yet here you are moping about it.  What gives you the right?

“Yeah, I’m sure.”  Another smile, this time a little wider.  “Got some videos to watch, don’t want to run the risk of waking anyone up.”

You turned, ending the conversation there.  You stared at your phone, sitting on the home screen and not bothering to look back once you heard them make the ascent up the stairs to their respective rooms.  It had been getting harder and harder to sleep these past few days and you couldn’t spend another restless night staring at the same four walls anymore.  Watching the same videos, rereading the same texts, you would go insane.  With an exasperated sigh, you tossed your phone to the side.  Hands found your face, fingers rubbing your eyes while reclining back, letting out a slow, low groan.

The lights in the common room were dim, just enough to find your way in case you stumbled down here in the middle of the night.  It was a small comfort, you figured to yourself, to have this moment alone.  To sit in the quiet and listen to the sounds of your friends around you, of the dorm settling snuggly down for another night’s rest.  And there you were, sitting by yourself in the common room.  Trying to decide if you were still mourning for a man you spoke to maybe a handful of times before you watched him get impaled on a spike or if you were ready to move on from it all.  Your head fell back limply against the edge of the couch, staring up at the ceiling as you tried to push any semblance of thought from your mind.  You just needed this one minute, one second for your entire world to just...stop running away from you.

If I could just get to him in time, maybe I could, I could help.  I could save him and be a hero and...

God, how dramatic could you get.  At least you hadn’t held the man in your arms as he lay dying.

With a sigh, you sat yourself back up and went back to your messages, pulling up the chat with Shinsou.  You hoped he was free.  Maybe even free enough to talk.  The empty feeling finding home in your chest was becoming too much.  You could use him, right now.  Maybe you could convince him to leave and come over.  You could watch a movie and just talk until you passed out.

Like friends did.

And if he was there, maybe it would so much easier to stay asleep. 

Hey.  We just got home.  Hope you’re...

Nope, delete.  Didn’t sound right.  

Hey!  You free right now?  I can’t sleep so

Nope, too eager.  

Shinsou, you loser get your ass over here

Nothing was coming out the way you wanted it to.  Nothing had ever sounded right.  You had so many things you wanted to say and yet never seemed to have the energy for it anymore.  Is this depression?  Do you have depression?  Do people who have depression know they have depression without being diagnosed with depression?  

You bit your lip, chewed on it until it grew sore and red and angry.  You needed your friend.  Your best friend.  Your only friend.  You missed hanging out with him, missed being able to text him weird shit and get a selfie of him looking bored at the camera just cause he knew it would make you laugh.  Cause you knew the weird shit you sent him made him laugh.  You wanted to see his face, to hear his voice.  You wanted it to go back before the dorms, back before whatever extra curricular thing he was doing.  But it wasn’t like he was doing this on purpose!  He was busy and you were just being fucking dramatic and needlessly stupid you didn’t even see Nighteye die but Deku did and he is holding himself together so much better and you would be okay if...if...

Why were you fucking crying now???????

Shinsou - I really miss you and I don’t want to be alone right now but I don’t know what to do I just wish you were here

“Hey.”

Given the recent events in your life, his gruff voice shattering the quiet of your isolation should have been expected.  Nevertheless, it still sent your heart skyrocketing into your throat.  You thought everyone had gone to bed and you could be a miserable wretch on your own time.  You jumped, sending your phone clattering to the ground and sliding under the coffee table.  The giant...granite...coffee table.  “Ah, shit, shit...”  You fell to your knees, trying to make a grab for it.  “Damn it, damn it, damn it.”

“I thought I would find you down here.”

Shinsou had hardly heard from you since the night you got back from the raid.  He had seen the news that something had happened.  When you didn’t answer his morning text, he just hoped you were just being your normal self.  When you didn’t show up at lunch, he feared the worst.  He paced his room, hardly ate, did nothing but refresh his news feed to see if your name flashed by as a causality.  He figured no news was good news but waiting to hear from you was the hardest thing he ever had to do.  And the fact you hadn’t told him you were going in the first place and had to find out about it by overhearing one of your classmates mention it?

Ample payback it seemed.  Secrets had become your duo’s new norm - and he hated it. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“We were told not to say anything to anyone.  I’m sorry, Shinsou.”

Your voice had sounded so off, so different in what little words you spoke.  Silence had never been so poignant until he experienced it from you.  As he laid in bed and stared at the phone on his pillow, his heart broke with each toss and turn he could hear from you.  He sat quietly, for that whole 2 hours as you tried to make sense of what you had just been through that day.  But you never said more than a few words and, even so, those were just a mask to hide the rest of the truth you wanted to keep hidden.  He listened, patiently, as you tried to place it all in order so you could begin to move past it.  

He hoped he had helped - in what little way he could.  In what minute way you had allowed him.  You were closing off and he so desperately wanted to cry out for you.  But he stayed quiet.  

And he felt entirely useless. 

He didn’t know exactly what happened; only what little information he had heard from Mr. Aizawa and even that had been bits and pieces.  Confidential, he said.  Bullshit, Shinsou thought.  If he was going to try to begin to figure out a solution to...whatever it was that plagued you, to lift your spirits, he needed to know exactly what happened.  But, when Shinsou had asked if you had been involved, if you were alright...?

“You’re friends with her, right?  She didn’t really seem to want to talk about it when I asked her after the fact.  But I figure that’s just because I’m her teacher.  Maybe you should be the one to check in on her instead.  She might actually open up to you.”

Open up to him.  

And that was the problem wasn’t it?  Something that always seemed to stand right between the two of you, pushing you in separate directions - opening up to each other.  It was a thought that occurred to him as he watched you spin your spoon around in your soup, but refused to eat.  The two of you had no problems talking, especially you.  You talked a lot, and he...didn’t.  You suited him fine.  More than fine.  

But what is talking if you’re not saying anything?  What was the point of being friends if you couldn’t even rely on each other to keep a secret, to lean on each other when everything seemed so fucking terrible.  Had he done you a disservice, hiding things from you?  Had he given you the impression that you couldn’t come to him for something so small as a crush on...ah, for something really small?  Had you transitioned from “don’t want to bother him with something silly” to “I can’t talk to him anymore period”?

Shinsou had always been the more straightforward one.  Where you seemed to be an endless supply of needless conversation and seemed to always dance around subjects, Shinsou was the one who could give it to you as plainly as possible.  And you knew that.  You knew him better than anyone, could understand him better than anyone.  

So when he didn’t give it to you as honestly, as plainly as he could have, it would stand to reason that you would be sent tumbling.

Shinsou - I really miss you and I don’t want to be alone right now but I don’t know what to do I just wish you were here

The text had come as a surprise.  Shinsou had been trying to sleep, but it was a rare commodity those days.  His mind swirled with thoughts of you.  Of how much he missed just you.  Your laugh, your stupid jokes.  Everything was starting to feel so hollow when he heard that soft ding from across the room.  To say he scrambled towards his desk where the phone lay charging was an understatement.  

I really miss you.

You were screaming for him and he hadn’t heard it.  You were sinking further and further and yet here he was, wondering and waiting for some sort of sign on what to do.  How he could fix it - but later.  He’s not strong enough now.  He’s not ready.  After he’s done with Aizawa.  After he’s a hero.  After after after.  Always cautious, always testing the waters.  

I just wish you were here.

You never waited, never paused, never hesitated.  When Bakugou was kidnapped, you rushed home and came up with a plan of action.  When you wanted to talk to him, you marched from your dorms, almost got into a fist fight, just to talk.  You were reckless in all the best ways.  In all the ways that made him want to scream, to touch you, to praise you, to love...to love you.

“I would be able to sleep if you answered your phone once in a while.”

He gripped his phone and hated that he had to draw one hand up to wipe his eyes.  Hated that his chest ached and hated that you even had to ask him.

“I wish you would have answered me.”

No more.  You would never have to ask him again.

He couldn’t pull his shoes on fast enough.  Before Shinsou could stop, rethink if this was a good idea, he was outside and making his way towards your dorm.  If he couldn’t help you now, when you needed it the most, when you were asking for him to pull you out from the waters...

His heart didn’t have the right to ache for you as much as it did. 

The two of you had done this so many times, Bakugou was surprised that you weren’t in the kitchen when he finally got down stairs.  The moment he got to the ground floor and saw you hunched over on the couch, his body froze.  

He had been hoping to have a bit more time to think of what he wanted to say.

“Is it just me, or has she not been the same since coming back from the raid?”

“No, I noticed it too.”

“Should we ask her about it?”

The frog grew quiet for a moment.  Bakugou had to strain to hear her response from down the hall.  “I think she’ll open up when she’s ready.”  She said softly.  “If we try to push the issue before then, it might just make matters worse.”

“Yeah,”  Uraraka responded, “I guess you’re right.  Still...I’m just worried.”

Worried.  For you.  

He didn’t want to think about why he was down in the commons, so late at night.  He didn’t want to acknowledge the fact that seeing your shaking shoulders, hearing the fast gasps you were making, ripped his very state of being apart.  He watched you, eyes narrowed.

He didn’t like it.  He didn’t like that you were in this state at all.

“Hey.”

He expected you to jump - it was a good thing that you did.  He would drag you out of whatever rut you were in, kicking and screaming if he had to.  

You got to your knees, cursing under your breath and scrambling for whatever you had been holding.  Probably your phone.  Bakugou stepped around the couch, shoving his hands in his pockets.  “Figured I would find you down here.”

You didn’t pay him any attention.  In fact, as you tried to reach under the coffee table, you kept your head turned - enough to where he couldn’t see your face.  You kept cursing, kept trying to reach desperately.  He watched you for a moment, feeling the frustration rise up inside of him.  You were ignoring him.  Like he wasn’t even there.  Like he wasn’t standing in front of you.

“Hey!”

“SHHH!”  You snapped to attention, pressing a finger to your lips.  He tried not to stare for too long.  “Do you want to wake the whole dorm!?”

“You should be in bed.”

Your stare lingered on him, for just a moment.  He refused to break eye contact first, refused to back down from the daggers you were sending his way.  You let out a huff, going back to searching for whatever it was that you had dropped.  “Couldn’t sleep.”

Bullshit.  He could tell.  It was a fact that he didn’t like to pay much attention to: tiny mannerisms that caught onto his attention like a hook.  You generally were so bright, hardly ever short.  Low energy, but not tired?  Sure.

He waited another minute.  “The others just got home.”

The slight pause.  Heh - you were like a book.  So easy to read.  “Oh.”  You said so matter-of-factly.  In another beat, you were back to searching, still focusing your gaze on the far side of the wall.  “Yeah, I guess.”

“So unless you got sent back early, I doubt you’ve even had a chance to try and sleep.”

Your fingers clenched, your fist shaking against the granite top.  Your body pulled up and away, resting in a rigid position.  But you were still refusing to look at him; in fact, to ensure that he wouldn’t be able to see anything,  you put your face in your hand.  Still, you didn’t say a word, didn’t argue with him.  So he continued:  “I’m just saying, if you’re going to lie, at least keep track who you tell what.”

You didn’t respond.  And he wished it didn’t make him as angry as it did.  He wished that he had been able to stop the rage that bubbled in his stomach.  But he couldn’t.  He didn’t want you to hide anything from him.  He wanted you to feel comfortable telling him when something was hurting you.  After he laid it all bare for you a few weeks ago, you couldn’t be bothered to at least confide in him what the hell was going on in your tiny little world?

“...tch.”  Bakugou fingers slid under the edge of the coffee table.  “Grab the other side.”

You paused, turning to stare at him.  His eyes met yours and he saw so clearly how blood shot they were, your cheeks blotchy and burning.  You sniffled once, pushing a strand of hair back into place.  “Uh...wha?”

“Do you want your crap or not!?”

“Oh, yeah, uh...”  You pushed yourself up.  His eyes followed you as you stationed yourself on the other side like instructed.  “On three.  One-”

He didn’t bother waiting.  Up he lifted and you scrambled to meet him half way.

Just a little to the side - and the bright screen of your phone illuminated the living room.  It was closest to him, causing him to flinch just slightly when the glow blinded him.  He moved to grab it for you -

Before Bakugou could realize what was happening, your fingers brushed against his.  You both paused, your digits flinching away from him every so slightly.  He didn’t know if he should continue making the grab for it or if he should pull away.  He didn’t want to.  Your skin was so soft and warm and...

He could feel your eyes on him and almost was able keep his gaze away.  Almost able to hold off temptation.  But you were like that, weren’t you?  The light had dimmed, casting a soft glow over your features.  He wanted to look anywhere else - anywhere but at you.  But your eyes held his, demanded that he hold your attention.  He hated the soft sound that escaped him.  Hated the way his heart hammered in his chest as you stared at each other, fingers still touching ever so slightly.  

He shouldn’t feel this way about you.  But he did.

Bakugou pulled back with a grunt.  He could feel your eyes follow him as he stood back up and stepped away, away from you.  Why did you do this to him?  Why did you manage to make him the worst of himself?  Lord Explosion Murder - reduced to a sniveling little puppy, eager to please because a girl he kind of thinks is pretty sometimes makes him feel like he’s going to throw up.  

His fingers shook.  He shoved them back in his pockets to hide the evidence.

You plucked the phone off the ground and immediately hit the lock screen to turn the light off.  You were once against standing alone in the dark, though he could see you plainly.  Neither of you said a word.  He wished he could say something, not scream it but just say it.  His mind strained to find something meaningful to say to you, something catching or just enough to keep you distracted from your thoughts.  But you had the knack for words - he didn’t.  All he could do was leer at you, waiting for you to start conversation.  You always had something to say.  

You silently slipped your phone in the pocket of your skirt.  

There was something different about you.  A wall that was keeping you from him.  Maybe the girls’ concern for you had weight behind it.  You still didn’t look at him, eyes downcast.

He had hoped, that night in the kitchen, that things might have been different.  That maybe...someday...

“You got your damn phone.  Now go to bed.”  He turned on his heels and made his way back towards the stairs.  He was done.  He helped you out enough.  

Sometimes you were too much.  Messed with his head and pulled his mind in so many different directions, he forgot which way was up because right there with you was where he wanted to be. 

“Why do you want to be a hero?”

Your voice cut through the silence of the dorm like a knife.  He hadn’t expected you to speak up now, though it fit you.  Question, make him stay; just when he decided to leave.  And of course, because you asked him to stay - he would.

“What kind of stupid question is that?”

“Humor me.”

He regretted coming down here to talk to you.  He should have just stayed in the comfort of his room.  “Why?”

“Humor.  Me.”  

His eyes narrowed.  Even if you wrapped yourself around him, brought him to his knees and groveling in your steps, no one spoke to him like that.  He spun around, snarl behind gritted teeth.  Who the fuck did you think you were talking to?

Then he paused.

You were watching him and the hollow expression on your face shoved the rage back down into his stomach.  With just a glance, you quelled that fury.  Another noise, another shock. Then your eyes softened and your shoulders slumped.  You remembered where you were, who you were talking to...no...no, you had never been afraid to talk to him like that.  Never afraid to meet his attitude head to head.  So what was different now?  “Please,” You added on, quietly.

What the hell happened to you?

Why did he want to be a hero?  

“To be number one.”

“Is that it?”

I don’t know anymore.  He didn’t like this line of questioning.  Bakugou was a smart kid - he could tell this conversation wasn’t going to be like the last one the two of you had.  No tea, no gentle touches.  The wounds were infected now and he felt shame burrow deep.  You had something you wanted to say, but something else was keeping it trapped, holding you back from being honest with him.  “What are you getting at?”

You fell quiet, letting his eyes take you in.  With a sigh, you turned and sat back down on the couch.  Your body folded in on itself, your hands grasping your arms, shaking fingertips digging into the fabric of the white dress shirt you were wearing.  “Nothing.”  You said finally.  “Just...thinking.  About things.”

You thought a lot about a lot of things.  Perhaps a little too much for too long.  You were receding back into your thoughts, pulling away from him again.  While he didn’t enjoy the feelings that being around you brought, losing you to your own headspace wasn’t something he would do tonight.  Or...any night.  His feet carried him back to the couch.  With a groan he sat down beside you.  “Well, then say it out loud.”

You let out a laugh that sounded too much like a sneer.  “Yeah.  Okay.”

It took everything in him to not reach out and grab you.  “I’m being serious.”

“I know.”

He just wanted to fucking help you.  “So tell me.”

“Tell you what?”

Like you had helped him.  “Whatever the hell that’s going on.”

A moment passed before you pulled your eyes back to his.  Finally, you were back in the present - back in that room with him.  Suddenly, you were aware that he had stationed himself beside you, so close your arms were a breath away from each other.  And there was a moment of panic in your eyes.  

You smirked, “Oh, are you playing therapist now?”

“Shut up!”  He bellowed.  “And tell me what the hell is going on before I change my mind!”

Your laugh was bitter, but it was something.  You used your hands to push your hair back out of your eyes, “...okay.”  You started...then fell quiet again.  He could hear you swallow the regret, the shame, the fear.  He watched as you struggled to put to words everything spinning around you.  “I don’t think I belong here.  At all.”

There were a million things Bakugou would have thought you could have said.  That...wasn’t one of them.  He had never thought of you not here.  What would that look like?

“I look at everyone here: Kirishima and Uraraka and Tsu and Deku...and I just can’t seem to find a place to put myself.  Among the rest of our class.”  His brows furrowed as you spoke.  He watched as your expression shifted with each word - angry and bitter and lost and upset.  “Like, you all are able to keep your heads held high, keep looking forward and never seem to let things drag you down.  I...I just don’t think I can do that.  So...”  You shrugged, swallowing harshly.  “Maybe I don’t deserve to be here if I can’t handle it...not like everyone else can.”

This wasn’t about the raid - that was just a catalyst.  It obviously struck a chord with you.  

“That’s stupid.”  

Another laugh.  This one tear filled but honest; and so, so bittersweet.  “Yeah.  Yeah, you’re absolutely right.  It’s pretty pathetic, huh?”

“No, you idiot.  It’s stupid because you’re wrong.”

You stared at him, mouth agape.  Then, in a second, your eyes narrowed, your lips thinned and your expression darkened.  He couldn’t help but feel the pride bubble in his chest:  You had realized you weren’t going to avoid this.  Not with him.  Not when he could help you.  He closed his eyes, figured it best to keep you out of his sight until he finished.  

“Look, you moron.  If you want to be angry or sad about whatever the hell happened back there, fine.  Do it.  But what good is wallowing in your own self pity if you’re not going to do anything about it?!”

Your voice shook as you spoke.  “Okay fine - then what should I do, Bakugou?”

His eyes snapped open, lips parted in surprise at the question.  There was an edge to your expression, daring him to answer.  Daring him to suggest something.  Blow it up?  Yell at it?  Fight it until it gives up?  But where would you start?  It wasn’t a real person - you couldn’t threaten it to back down.  Eyes scoured the floor for a response, searched desperately to find something - a strand of advice - to give you.  But he had nothing.  

“Yeah,”  You moved, pushing yourself off the couch.  You snatched your bag with such force it almost swung around and hit him in the face.  “That’s what I thought.  You don’t have an answer either.”

Shit.  Shit. He watched you as you skirted past his legs, intent on burying everything again.  If he let this go - let you go - you might actually do it.  You might actually leave UA - leave everyone in Class 1-A, leave your dream, leave...him. 

“It’s fine.”  You added, making your way towards the stairs.  “I’ll be fine.”

But he knew that was a lie.  Everything about this situation was a lie.  You wouldn’t be fine if he let you go upstairs, left you along with those thoughts of inadequacy, and if you kept falling lower and lower...?

“Hey.”  

You paused in front of the elevator...then pressed the button, it’s soft white glow sending panic down Bakugou’s spine.  The only thing he could see of you in the dark was the back of your head, the way your chin dipped just so lightly to your chest.  You weren’t going to respond if he didn’t do something.  He didn’t want this conversation to end - not like this.  What would All Might say?  What would Kirishima say?  What would Deku say?

What would you say?

“You never told me:  Why did you agree to go on that raid?”

There was a moment of pause before you turned and glanced over your shoulder at him.  There was a confused expression on your face, your eyes scanning him to try and figure out just what he was playing at.  “I told you why I wanted to be a hero.”  It was a challenge.  Stay and face this.  “Now tell me why you went on that stupid raid.”

“Don’t get too worked up about this.”  Mr. Aizawa - no, Eraserhead - had said.  “The Big Three are one thing:  They’re strong enough to hold their own out there with the Pros.”  He called you all out by name.  Asui, Uraraka, Kirishima and you.  “You didn’t volunteer for this and you’re not obligated to participate.  It’s your call.”

It had been your call.  Your decision.  The Pros wouldn’t have shoved you into a situation you weren’t ready for.  The four of you had known that it was not necessary for you to go above and beyond what you had already done.  It was going to be dangerous, and you needed to not only be physically capable, but mentally as well.  

You should have waited, weighed the odds, thought about it for a moment longer.  

Your call.  Your choice:  Save a little girl who was in danger or back down.  Be a Hero or refuse to answer the call.

Well...the choice was simple than wasn’t it?

You hadn’t been capable.  You screwed up.  Once again jumping deeper into a situation than you should have.  You weren’t like your friends.  

You weren’t like them at all.

“Mr. Ai- I mean, Eraserhead!  After everything we just heard, I can’t imagine not helping out, sir!”

Someone who could raise their head and keep it held high.  Who could look danger in the eye and refuse to back down.

“Yeah, if you’re going to let us be apart of this, I’d like to pitch in however I can!”

Who saw someone and danger and threw themselves into the line of fire.  Who reached out a hand and kept holding on, long past the last scrap of energy was gone. 

"If I can use my power to help that girl even a little bit, then count me in Eraserhead!”

They were heroes.  You weren’t like them.

You stood up, nodding earnestly.  Your look was stern, your eyes hard as you looked at Eraserhead.  You were equals - at least in this moment.  “Yeah,  heroes save people - so I’ll do my best to make sure that girl is safe!”

You could feel Bakugou’s eyes pick you apart and put you back together.  Looking at him made you sick, made you want to crawl into yourself and rot.  But...with a soft sigh, your eyes casted up, trying to keep the tears from falling again.  You had thought you had done all your crying.  God, his face in the dark was a slight comfort.  His eyes practically glowed in the low light of the common room.  His dark t-shirt hung around his shoulders, his hair was a wild mess, sticking up in every direction.  And he just watched you.  No malice, no rage, just...waiting.  

Waiting for your answer.  

Why did you agree to join the raid?

To save that little girl.  Because that’s what heroes do. 

But...

“After my fight with Deku, you sat with me.  You didn’t have to do that either. So why?”

Arms gripping your hoodie, squeezing you for dear life.  His whole body trembled under your touch.  Tears as he begged for forgiveness that you couldn’t give him.  But you wanted to - because it would mean his pain would be put at ease.  If you couldn’t give him what he needed, what he longed for, you would at least be there for a moment longer than the tears would fall.  You just needed him to know he wasn’t alone.  You needed Katsuki Bakugou to know you were there for him, no matter what.

“And with the League attack?  You weren’t with Kirishima and them.  You went off on your own, to try and save me.  Why?”

They wouldn’t see how hard he worked.  How much he wanted to be a hero.  And if they hurt him, if he refused and the villains hurt him?  If they took that away from him…?  All of his hopes and dreams?

No.  No, you weren’t going to let that happen.  

You had to bite you lip to keep it from shaking.  Bakugou was listing off all your fuck ups as if they mattered.  As if they were helping his case.  As if they were something you should be proud of.  You considered telling him, making him aware that even in those moments, you still failed:  you got knocked out during the raid, during the fight with the villains, and that you hadn’t done much besides give him a hug in the kitchen.  You weren’t doing much.

Deep breath, look away.  His face was too much.  It was too honest, trying to grab at you and hold you still.  He could almost convince you that you did something besides hinder those who had a better chance of being a Hero.

“You do half the shit you do because you’re a good person.  You want to help people.”  Movement caused you to glance his way.  He turned to sit back down on the couch.  “As stupid as it is, I guess it’s pretty admirable.”

‘Pretty admirable’?  He - Katsuki Bakugou - thought it was admirable.  You opened your mouth, but after a long moment of silence found you had nothing to say, so you closed it again.  You hated that even without speaking, you were losing this fight.  “So does everyone else.”  You replied weakly.  It didn’t make you special.  It didn’t make you any different.

“That so?”

“Yeah.”

“Than wouldn’t that mean you belong here with all the other losers looking to be a Hero to protect people?”

Ding!

Behind you, the elevator opened.  

A soft gasp escaped your chest.  So...that’s what he was doing.  Leave it up to him to talk you around into a circle before shoving your argument back into your face...no, he hadn’t been nearly as harsh as you had expected.  He was speaking so softly to you, being as gentle as he knew how - which granted, wasn’t much, but appreciated none the less.  One shouldn’t look a gift explosion in the mouth.  

You looked at the elevator over your shoulder, stared at it’s open doors.  

You let them shut.

For the first time since that raid, you smiled.  Really, honestly smiled.  You set your bag down against the wall.  The walk back to the couch was the lightest you had felt in a long while.  You sat down next to him, resting your hands on your knees and one by one, you tapped your fingers against your skin.  With a deep breath, you felt your shoulders relaxed.  You weren’t surprised he was able to help.  “I guess...technically...using that logic...you’re not wrong.”

Bakugou scoffed, closing his eyes and tossing his head back.  “Of course I’m not wrong.”

You chuckled, shaking your head.  “How could I have ever thought to argue with you? Truly a futile effort to begin with.”

His smirk was quick, a slight twitch in the corner of his mouth before he grunted and looked away.  The prickly exterior he generally used to conceal himself was growing back into place and you couldn’t help but laugh.  You had been so wrapped up in your own bullshit that you almost forgot how much he made your heart skip.  As you looked over his profile, you realized that you were entirely thankful for Bakugou and not just in that moment.  You had been so stuck in your pit, sinking lower and lower that you didn’t think you’d ever get out of it.

But like everything, he broke the glass ceiling and shot through.  Only this time, he snatched you up and pulled your head to the surface.  Even if for a moment, you could breathe because he was holding your head above the water.  

You leaned over and bumped his shoulder with yours, nudging him warmly.  He ruined expectations again by waiting a moment before doing it back to you.  

He was so warm, his skin amazingly soft.  It lit your chest aflame and your cheeks grew pink - but you didn’t move.  The two of you leaned against each other but said nothing about it.  How did you find yourself here?  You had been close to him before but this was different in a way that didn’t seem to make any sort of sense.  And...you kind of like that it didn’t.  Because it didn’t have to.  You realized that sometimes, when it was just the two of you, as few as those “sometimes” may have been, you simply wanted it to just...be.  

You shouldn’t want to be so close to him, not now.  Would it be in poor taste?  Would he think less of you if he knew?  Did he know?  Did he feel the same way?  You were certain that if he looked over at you, looked into your eyes he would...at least see something.  You weren’t sure exactly what it was, but it was enough to cause your knees to knock and your chest to ache.  And you wondered if he would see how much your fingers longed to reach out and touch his body, draw him close and...  

But that didn’t matter.  Not now. 

You looked down at your hands.  If you...wanted to try...wanted to see if...this was something you could have, you would have to take the first leap.  Bakugou wasn’t going to do it.  He wasn’t going to be the one who dove head first.  But was now the perfect time?  Would there ever be a perfect time?  After having him strip your defenses, tear you down, build you back up - should you wait?

You spared another look, hoping that you might find confidence in his being.  

Your eyes met.  He was looking at you too.

No.  No, you weren’t waiting.  Katsuki Bakugou wasn’t someone you waited for.  If you were going to do this, see if he felt the same way you felt - all the crazy heart skips and lingering glances when the other wasn’t looking - you had to do this now.  

Gathering all your courage, you moved your hand and offered it to him.  His eyes tore away from your face then down at your open palm.  The universe held it’s breath, watched eagerly...as he slid his fingers between yours.  His calloused digits scratched at your skin lightly, his palms were a little clammy and...

Bakugou held you firm, grasping you tightly.  Desperate and scared and you remembered everything that lead you to this moment.

“That Bakugou kid likes you.”

Wild hair haloed in the setting sun peeking above the tops of overgrown trees.  Everyone around you disappears when his arms wrap around you.  He holds your hands, guiding the knife as he helps you chop.

“Out of all those losers, I was glad you were there.”

It felt like something was dragging you to him, tugging your body towards his.  He wasn’t stopping you, he wasn’t yelling or screaming or pushing you away.  He just watched, eyes narrowed and darkened under his hair.  Was he waiting to see what you would do?  Was he too scared to move on his own?  You reached out, gliding your fingers over his sandy blonde locks and brushing them out of the way so you could see his face.  Fingertips drifted down and over his cheek, trying to offer the same warmth he filled you with.  

Defiantly, a daring look in his eye, he pressed his cheek into your hand.  If you’re going to do this, then mean it.  Everything about him made you want to scream, drove you mad.  He always fought - and you saw now, that this whole time...he was fighting for you.  Fighting to let you know.  Had you been so entirely blind all this time?  

You wanted to say something, to let him know that you saw.  But words were wrong, thin, pointless and empty.  Nothing you could say would ever be enough to let him know how you felt.  So you would give all of you and hope that it was enough for him.

Without waiting another moment, you pressed your lips to his.  It was a deep and heavy action, one that he met with passion only he could muster.  You closed your eyes and lost yourself into his taste, the heat of his lips, his very presence.  It was a rush, one that sent you spinning - derailed all train of thought.  All that mattered was him.  All that lived in this universe was you and him.

His arm snaked around your waist, pulling you up and over him and you were happy to follow.  You didn’t dare break away, to lose the contact that you obviously both had been longing for.  Your fingers found their way into his hair, twisting and tangling.  Never once did he pull away - quite the opposite.  He met you, every press of your lips, every motion of want and desire, laid bare in front of both of you.  And as you felt his finger graze over the skin on your back, dipping under your dress shirt to set the nerves there on fire, you realized both of you were utter fools.

It’s an awful thing: knowing you’re not enough.  Wanting something so badly, but no matter how much you long for it, it still slips through your grasp.  Of knowing that nothing you could have done would have changed the outcome.

He should have stayed in his dorm.  He should have never looked at his phone.  He should have never told you about Bakugou.  

He should have never let you get so close.  

It was by chance he glanced at the window looking into the common room, hand poised in front of the door.  At first, he wasn’t exactly sure what he was looking at - two shadowed masses, one on top of the other.  But then, he saw your face.  His heart wrenched when you pulled away from Bakugou.  A scream locked in his throat the way you smiled at him, soft and loving.  He hated the look in your eyes as you ran your thumb over his lips, as he slid his fingers into your hair to pull you back for more. 

Something Shinsou couldn’t have.  Someone he wasn’t enough for.

He didn’t linger on the steps for too long.  He feared you would see him and then - then you would have to talk.  He wasn’t sure he would be able to handle that, not with Bakugou behind you.  

The walk back to the dorm was a long one and he was surprised he made it into his room without incident.  It was late enough though, most of his classmates were asleep and the rest had retired to their rooms.  No one knew he was gone.  His mind was utterly blank until the locked clicked shut.

He didn’t realize he had punched the wall until his hand pulled back, sliced open.  Blood pooled and ran down his arm.  But it wasn’t enough.  It didn’t stop him from replaying that scene in his head over and over again.  The way you two were looking at each other, the soft touches, gentle smiles...

He slumped to the floor and let out one pitiful sob.  

What was he supposed to do now?

Author’s Note:  I honestly watched Cats the 2019 musical and then wrote Shinsou’s part because I’ve been having a pretty good week honestly so I wasn’t in the headspace for honest disappointment.  

I just needed something to remind me that happiness is fleeting and something terrible and awful will usually come and destroy what you know and love most in this world.  Drag your joy through the mud until the only thing left is a shell of what once was.

...who let’s Hooper direct shit?

Anyway.  I do think I’m going to lead into a part 4 for this one.  I don’t know.  I’ll let you guys decide if you want something more lol since I’m interested in continuing it.  Especially given the newer chapters. 

Also eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey, kissing scene.  First real one on this blog anyway and not a kiss mentioned in passing.  And look, it only took me a year or so to do it. :)  I’m a fantastic mod of this blog who gives people what they want and doesn’t focus on stupid shit in the slightest why are you guys here you should have left me on the street corner where I was standing

Tag List!  If you want to be added, let me know!

@snaspants​ | @purplebellybell | @sxlenced-xf-lxvers​ | 

[twolonesomestars]

BJYX III

Japan Trip

This is a compilation post explaining the Japan trip and related theories (along with my own thoughts). Most of the theories in here are well-known. If you know the general gist of the Japan trip, you probably won’t see anything new.

Warning: This is all fake. Don’t take what I say to heart. These are just my random thoughts.

Extremely long post. Please beware.

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All my explanations and thoughts will be bracketed and italicized: [like this]. If you would like to just read about the theories, ignore the bracketed and italicized bits.

I suggest reading all of the theories first and creating your own opinion on the trip before reading my commentary, especially if you’re a new fan. (AKA ignore the bracketed & italicized parts for now).

[One last thing before I start (and a test for those who want to read the theories first… ignore this for now): I believe this Japan trip changed their relationship… In that, I believe they began their romantic relationship after this trip. A quick timeline mention: truthfully, their relationship before and during CQL filming isn’t too important for this theory. However, I do believe that there was some sort of confession from WYB at the end of filming, which may have played a role in XZ’s decision to take the trip to Japan. I’ll provide my reasoning later in the post. All my explanations and thoughts are going to be based on these particular assumptions; although, I will try to include rebuttals & explanations based on countering arguments.]

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OUTLINE

DATES

PRE-JAPAN TRIP

Character Bleed Changed Phone Number

MID-JAPAN TRIP

XZ’s 180911 Post + Story

POST-JAPAN TRIP

XZ’s 180913 Post & Story XZ’s 181119 Post WYB’s 181119 Post Time Gap WYB’s 190322 Post

FINAL THOUGHTS

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Let’s get into it!

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DATES:

180416 - 180823 Filming for CQL

180908 - 180912 XZ’s Japan trip

180913 - XZ posted his 521st Weibo post & 18th Weibo story

181005 - XZ’s Birthday

181119 @ 17:42 - XZ’s Japan trip post

181119 @ 18:47 - WYB’s response post

190322 - WYB’s Rome trip post

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PRE-JAPAN TRIP:

Character Bleed

XZ’s reasoning behind his Japan trip in this interview @ 9:31

XZ explicitly says, “I told myself I had to walk out of it.” His reasoning being, “[I had to] leave him there. [I had to] return him to the one he loves.”

You can unpack a lot from that. I got two main things from it:

(“I had to walk out of it”): you can assume that XZ took everything from WWX and made it his own, including, and specifically, WWX’s love for LWJ. Essentially, by the end of filming, XZ himself was in love with LWJ.

(“return him to the one he loves”): XZ separates himself very clearly from WWX. He points out his reasoning to walk it off is him wanting to return WWX to the one he loves… the implication is that he figured out he doesn’t love the one WWX loves.

[The reason I think there was some sort of confession at the end of filming that pushed XZ to take this trip and figure himself out is because he already knew he loved LWJ. I think he may have attributed any romantic feelings he felt towards WYB to the fact that he plays the character he loves. So, if WYB confessed to wanting to pursue a romantic relationship with him, it makes sense that XZ would hesitate. I doubt he’d want to lead WYB on just to later realize all of his feelings were for LWJ and not him. I’m sure XZ would’ve walked off WWX eventually, but I think he did it as quickly as he could to give a certain person (and himself) answers.

Obviously, I don’t know how XZ goes about with his acting, so these are all just random assumptions.]

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Changed Phone Number

I’ve gotten a few asks wanting me to clarify and give my opinion on the rumor about XZ changing his number and WYB asking around for it. I’ve heard two versions of this:

The first version has two variations:

XZ changed his number sometime after his DDU appearance in 2017 and before CQL began shooting, and WYB was asking the CQL crew for it.

XZ changed his number during CQL filming sometime, and WYB was asking the CQL crew for it.

The second version is that XZ changed his number before he left to Japan and WYB was asking around for it for months (who he was asking was undefined).

A related rumor I want to note: a fan who was at the airport when XZ was waiting for his flight to Japan supposedly saw him not answering his phone.

Let me clarify the relationship between WeChat & phone numbers:

In WeChat, every registered user gets a WeChat ID. There are three main ways people can add someone: (1) have the person’s WeChat ID (2) have the person’s phone number (3) have access to the person’s QR code. For (1) and (2), the other person must enable the option to be found via WeChat ID or phone number in order for you to find them. You can also choose to not show your phone number at all, so even if someone adds you via (1) or (3), they may still not have access to your number depending on your settings. To sum it up, you do NOT need to know another person’s phone number to message them on WeChat. Practically everyone in China uses WeChat as their main social messaging application… you can send messages (text & voice) and you can call (voice-only & video). People don’t use their actual given numbers to message or call too much (ex. iPhone messaging/ Facetime); phone numbers are typically used when making accounts on various social media apps, online payment, etc.

There’s a pretty well-backed up theory that WYB asked one of his DDU co-hosts (specifically DZW) if he could get XZ’s WeChat ID for him during/ after filming the episode with XNINE. If this theory is true, we can only be sure that he got XZ’s WeChat ID, not that he got his phone number.

If you do want to change your number or WeChat ID (prior to 2020, you could only change your WeChat ID once per account), you can simply go into the WeChat settings and update; this process won’t change your WeChat account and it won’t affect any of your contacts or chat history. If you want to stop receiving messages & calls from someone, you can either block or delete them from your contacts on the app.

I’m pointing all of this out because I’m pretty sure most of XZ’s & WYB’s communication takes place in WeChat. WYB has said in several interviews that he now prefers his phone and wifi access; he’s also said that he can’t go without WeChat now.

[I honestly don’t think this rumor is real. But, out of the two versions, I’d say the first version (either variation) makes more sense than the second version.

I have three reasons for thinking the second version is the most unlikely:

It’d be easier to block the other person for however long you need (and then unblock them or delete them depending on your choice later) rather than going through the hassle of changing your number. Remember when WYB’s phone number got leaked and he had to change it (August 2019)? He asked people to not use his number to log into accounts; he even mentioned that he would need to change all of them, which would be a large hassle. Sure, there could be circumstances where you’d want to change your phone number… but I don’t think this situation is that extreme, especially since it was supposedly at the airport before his trip and before he decided.

I don’t think XZ’s the type of person to leave someone hanging, no matter how much internal turmoil he may be dealing with, and especially not when that someone is close to him. I believe he’d at least inform others that he’ll be out of range and to not message or call him. Not to mention, if he told WYB to not contact him for the next couple of days, I’d like to believe WYB would respect that wish, whether he knew the reason or not. Since I do think that WYB confessed prior to the Japan trip, I believe he knew. But, even if he didn’t, he has integrity and self-respect. He’s going to respect others’ wishes, and even more so if he respects the other person… and he does respect XZ.

The theory specifically points out “months” … WYB literally celebrated XZ’s birthday with him about three weeks after this trip.

As for the first version:

Variation #1 implies that this happened at the start of filming/ bootcamp; it also implies that WYB got XZ’s number after he contacted him on WeChat. One assumption I have is: I don’t think celebrities/ people in the industry exchange phone numbers much, just their WeChat IDs. This is why I don’t think XZ & WYB exchanged numbers when they first met, only their WeChat IDs. As for WYB asking the crew for XZ’s number… if he already had XZ’s previous number, I kinda doubt he’d go around asking others when he could just ask XZ himself.

Variation #2 probably makes the most sense out of all three, and even then it’s a bit of a stretch. This variation implies that it’s a few months into filming, at which point XZ & WYB were extremely close. I doubt he’d be too nervous to ask XZ directly for his new number. The only rebuttal I could think of for this is that perhaps WYB asking around instead of asking XZ himself was him being coquettish.

In the end, this rumor doesn’t make too much sense to me. But take it as you will.]

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MID-JAPAN TRIP:

XZ’s 180911 Post + Story

We know that he kept deleting his Weibo posts before the number could reach *520. (*520 & 521 are both kadian for “I love you” even though 520 is more widely used.)

XZ posted his 520th post on 180911 (right in the middle of his trip). It was an ad for AHC. AHC is the first brand both WYB & XZ shared and spoke for; I believe WYB stopped his spokesperson duties on 180829 & XZ began his on 180907.

XZ posted his 17th story, also on 180911, of him on a ferry during the trip.

[I burst out laughing when I realized he posted an ad for his 520th post. He kept deleting posts to make sure he stayed away from #520; he could’ve easily deleted another post to make the ad his 519th. A lot of solo fans were looking forward to his 520th post being dedicated to them (exhibit 1), and then he did that. Sly as per usual. And the 17th story... leading up to the 18th. I think XZ pretty much knew/ made his choice/ accepted his feelings by this point, which is why he posted like this.]

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POST-JAPAN TRIP:

XZ’s 180913 Post & Story

XZ posted this video on Weibo on 180913. It was his *521th post & *18th story. (*52118 = “wo ai ni yi bo” A BXG posted about counting XZ’s posts to find these numbers.)

His caption was:

以为在拍照的找🤣... (夏天的风结束了，假期也结束了🌿🌿🎋)

which roughly translates to:

“I thought I was posing for a photo🤣... (The summer wind is over, the holiday is also over 🌿🌿🎋)”

There are several theories about the caption.

the emojis:

The bamboo emoji refers to WYB. In this behind the scenes footage, XZ compares WYB’s face to a bamboo stick.

the words:

XZ is referring to the season ending and the weather in the video where the wind is blowing across his face.

When XZ states that both the summer wind and his holiday are over, he is implying that he has left the character he became that summer (WWX) behind and moving forward.

XZ is referring to the song Summer Wind (夏天的风) by Liu Rui Qi (刘瑞琦). I’m not going to go too deep into this; the lyrics in question are:

夏天的风 我永远记得 清清楚楚地说你爱我 我看见你酷酷的笑容 也有腼腆的时候

roughly translates to

The summer wind, I will always remember [you] saying clearly that you love me. I saw your cool smile [yet] there are times when you are shy.

Interpretations are: (line 1) “summer wind” & “always remember” - XZ is reminiscing on the things that have happened that summer when CQL was filmed. (line 2) “saying clearly… you love me” - a confession from a certain someone… we know of one on camera: “zhan-ge didi ai ni.” (lines 3-4) “cool smile” & “shy” - these adjectives fit a person we know.

[I didn't find out about half of these caption theories until way later, and once I had already formed my opinion on this trip. A lot of it seems like a stretch, but all the theories make some sort of sense. Meh, there’s a lot you can do with a caption, so just take it all in.

Personally, I didn’t pay attention to the caption too much. I knew about the lyrics, but I purposely avoided them precisely because they were lyrics; you can do a lot with them. I finally explored it for this post, and I actually like it a lot; it’s very sweet. I’m still leaning towards the reference being unlikely; however, XZ is very sneaky, so I wouldn’t put it past him. I also knew about the bamboo reference, but I never gave it much thought. I didn’t think that one scene of them joking around was enough to say that he used the emoji to refer to WYB. Though, if it was actually a reference, there’s definitely more to it that we don’t know about. Ultimately, for this one, my decision was based on the basics: the kadian (and later reinforced by the whole AHC ad post).]

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XZ’s 181119 Post @ 17:42

A major theory for this post comes from his caption:

“一些存货... 现代人即将拥有姓名 [’silent giggling’ emoji]... ”

roughly translates to

“some stock [photos]... modern man will soon be named...”

The main focus here is the “modern man.”

Once the behind the scenes footage and interviews began releasing, BXG started noticing how WYB got whenever XZ mentioned LWJ. His facial expressions always changed… immediate frowns. BXG speculated that WYB was trying to show himself as separate from his character, but XZ didn’t take notice. The character LWJ is figuratively and literally from the past; the actor on the other hand is from modern society. Thus, XZ mentioning modern man was taken to be a reference to XZ’s love for the actor alone, not the character.

[To those who have sent asks about the “modern man” quote, I hope this clears it up. My interpretation of it is the same. At the end of the day, XZ most definitely separated the two.]

Another theory for this one is that the horizontal middle row pictures spell out “王一博” going from left to right.

王 (“wáng”)

The lines on the building look like the character

He could’ve meant “look towards,” which is what he’s doing in the picture. It is a different character (“望”), and has a slightly different pronunciation (“wàng”)

He could’ve meant “going in one direction,” referring to the arrow on the sign, which is a different character (“往”), and has a slightly different pronunciation (“wǎng”)

一 (yī)

The image looks like the character

博 (bó)

Another meaning for “博” is “extensive” or “rich” which you can take the design on the outside of the to be

The building is a museum, whose word (“博物馆”) begins with “博”

[For the spelling, my interpretations were all of the #1s. (I’ll explain a little bit more when we get to WYB’s 190322 post.)]

One last theory about this post: BXG then witnessed XZ editing his post in real time to change the position of the first two pictures. There’s a theory that he saw this post (below) from the previous day and changed the positions to match.

OP talking about the switch here and below.

[I was so enamored by this theory until I actually went looking for it. The post of WYB’s pictures is from a fan, and while I don’t doubt that they saw more of fans’ posts back then, this one wasn’t tagged or anything. It could easily have been XZ’s artist side popping up. But, maybe XZ was lurking on his private account. Even though it’s one of the more iffy ones, it’s such a cute theory that I actually don’t mind believing it.]

This is a side note and not part of the actual theory: On my search for all things related to this trip, I noticed one of WYB’s posts where he did a similar thing.

This was in June 2018, so before XZ’s post. Mayhaps inspiration.

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WYB’s 181119 Post @ 18:47

WYB posted exactly *1:05 hours after XZ posted. (*105 = 10/5, XZ’s birthday)

His caption was “冒个泡”

He was using internet slang; it can be vaguely translated to “I am here.” In context, he’s using the slang to refer to him not posting for a long time; he’s ‘showing his presence.’

Notable Things:

He posted the day prior on 181118; it wasn’t an ad, but it wasn’t exactly personal either.

He posted a picture of himself with his DDU brothers during a trip on 181104.

He had not posted a selfie since 181004. (Back then, he updated personal posts once or twice a week, whether it was a selfie or something about his life, such as what show he was watching. The month & a half time gap between personal posts would’ve been unusual.)

The caption & selfie work as a response to XZ’s “modern man will soon be named.”

Another thing fans were intrigued about was the time stamp on the photo, 180525.

WYB never really posts throwbacks, especially with selfies, yet he did one here to a date in the middle of CQL filming. He also usually never adds the date to his photos.

Isn’t it interesting that he captions the post with slang that tells people he’s back from a break, but uses an old photo instead of a new one? If someone’s announcing that they’re coming back from a break (especially a celebrity), wouldn’t it make more sense to post a recent photo rather than an old one (in this case, one from 6 months ago)? And, why even bother including the date in the first place?

[I can’t believe I barely noticed that WYB posted 1:05 hours after XZ. What in the world WYB? I’m losing my mind. It’s down to the damn minute, and their minutes weren’t a “0” or “5” multiple either. I usually try to pass off a lot of things regarding YiZhan (especially kadian) as coincidences, but what even is this? If it wasn’t intentional… What kind of connection do these two share?

Yes, I do think this was WYB’s response. The throwback picture was probably the most telling for me; him including the date he took the photo was like a flashing sign saying: ‘hey look at this date. it’s important.’ And when you add the caption into the mix, it’s taken to another level. I feel the combination of hints in and related to the post is too much and too telling to be coincidental.]

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Time Gap

There’s an interesting time gap between the two XZ’s posts (180913 & 181119). There are a few theories about what could’ve happened in those two months. Some of the ones I’ve seen and heard are:

XZ & WYB could’ve been taking that time to tell their parents and settle things with their agencies

XZ & WYB could’ve begun dating exclusively after XZ’s return

Both of these theories imply that everything got settled or made official around 181119.

[I never really thought about the time gap between the posts… mostly because I kept forgetting there even was one. They’re both ridiculously romantic so I don’t doubt that 181119 is something of importance to them. I think it’s especially proving that both of them did a throwback to the same seemingly important time period.]

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WYB’s 190322 Post

This post is pretty similar to XZ’s 181119 throwback post to the Japan trip. The theory for this one is that WYB spelled out “肖战” using the vertical middle row, going from top to bottom.

肖 - The tree looks like the top part of the “肖” character; the branches look like the bottom part of it.

战 - Since WYB placed an image of the entire Roman colosseum (where gladiator battles took place) in the last spot, he may have been alluding to how “战” means “battle” or “fight” (similar to how XZ may have been alluding to the meaning of “博” instead of getting a picture of the character).

WYB filmed the DDU episode on 3/22; I don’t believe there’s another significance to the date.

[WYB spelling out the “肖” using the first two pictures backs up my thinking that XZ spelled out the “王” and “一” characters in his first two pictures. This also leads me to think that both of them alluded to each other’s last character rather than spelling it out in their third pictures.]

-

FINAL THOUGHTS:

[The reason I like this overall theory a lot is because I think the happenings really fit with the things they’ve told us in interviews and suit their personalities. It makes sense to me that XZ would want to take some time to think about it; it makes sense to me that WYB was probably the one who took the first step.

As for the theories about the details… some of them are really out there, but all of them are fun to consider. As usual, take everything with a grain of salt.]

Some of these posts & events have several theories (i.e. XZ’s summer wind caption); they aren’t mutually exclusive… more than one can be true at the same time.

I tried to be as neutral as I could when explaining these theories. I tried to include counters and other possibilities, but I’m sure some bias came out. Just take it all in and take it for what it is.

My intention with this post was to put everything into perspective and give a good timeline. (As well as get everything in one place.) If you’re interested in my thoughts, feel free to go back and read the italicized & bracketed parts (if you hadn’t already).

-

The following is something I want to say about these theories and the BXG community in general:

Every theory has inconsistencies and exaggerations… that’s what makes it a theory. As long as we discuss things knowing this fact, that’s all that matters. We’re here to have fun, not to prove what’s right or wrong.

I love seeing the various theories everyone in this community puts out, no matter how different or similar they are to the ones I like/ believe in. It’s fun to look into these things with different perspectives. Don’t feel burdened if you believe in a less popular theory. Besides, we will never know anything for sure.

Be kind. And, have a good time.

-

Once again, this is all fake. I do not personally know XZ & WYB, and I will never know anything about them; this includes the intricacies of whatever relationship they share. So, CPN.

[star-lemonade]

School reunion (2/3)

A.C.E Junhee x Reader

Cw: kinda angsty?, fluff

Rating: R

Word count: 2.5 k

Summary: You hire someone to accompany you to your school reunion.

He had cut his hair but it was definitely him. Junhee said hi and your colleague greeted him back. You did not know how you should react so you just nodded in his direction.

“This is our newest addition. Fresh from university…”

You were not listening to John anymore because you watched Junhee. He was standing the farthest away from you, several people stood between you and him. He was listening intently and did not look at you. Junhee wore silver earrings that gave him a more soft look.

“... know each other.”

Everyone was suddenly looking at you. John smiled and gestured at you while your colleagues' eyes were on you. Your glance met Junhee who smiled softly.

“..uhm.”

The elevator chime saved you from answering. The door opened and everyone spilled into the lobby.

You sat as far away from John as possible today. What would he think if you said how you had met Junhee? No. It was not a good idea to tell the truth. But what should you say? What had Junhee said about how you knew each other? You stayed quiet and let others speak, trying to not draw attention to yourself.

After lunch you usually got a coffee from the shop next door and went to the roof of the company building to relax for a few minutes in peace. So after you had finished your plate in record time, you stood up and left. You had to sort your thoughts and come up with some story to tell people if the topic of Junhee came up again. If he really stayed with John’s company it was bound to happen.

You got in line at the coffee shop. It was a cozy place where you also liked to go in the morning before work. There was not much sitting space because the shop seemed to have been built in the gap between two buildings. When it was your turn you ordered your usual.

The barista told you the price and as you were about to pull out your card a shadow appeared in your peripheral vision.

“I will pay for that and can I get an iced americano?”

You looked up to see Junhee give the barista his best smile. The woman looked at you for guidance. Her cheeks were a bit flushed.

“Junhee…”

It felt odd to say his name. The day you had spent with him all that time ago felt like a dream. Not a good dream but also not a nightmare. More like a dream that left you confused when you woke up.

“Please, let me buy you a coffee.”

He smiled. It was not the same one he had given the barista. This was more subtle and more familiar somehow. You nodded, still stunned.

“So you got the job with John. Congrats.”

It felt awkward to talk to him again. He reminded you of a bad time without any fault of his own. Junhee had just been at the wrong place at the wrong time.

“Yes, thanks again for the number.”

He sipped his coffee as you walked back to the office building.

“How have you been?”

Well, how had you been? Your steps bounced off the wall of the building. The glass facade like a mirror showed you and him walking.

“I have been okay.”

It was true. After the school reunion you had not felt very good for some time, but the further it was away from you, the better you felt. You had distracted yourself with work and let other things fill your life. It was not like you did not care about what the bullies thought anymore, just that it was not as important as before. What is done is done. You could not take that day back, so you had to live with it. The automatic door opened and you entered the lobby.

It was time to say goodbye to Junhee.

“See you around.”

Over the next few weeks Junhee insisted on buying you your post lunch coffee and people started to notice.

“Maybe he has a crush on you,” one of your colleagues speculated.

You shot them down. That was absurd. Why would he be interested in you? No, it was just gratitude, you said. You had brought him and John together. In fact Junhee and John seemed to be a dream team.

When you went out for dinner with John and some others, he could not stress enough how much he valued Junhee’s work. You found yourself talking to Junhee a lot more as time went by. You talked about your favourite artists and ended up texting each other until late into the night. More than anyone else's, the chat with Junhee was on top in your messaging service when you opened the app. But of course this did not mean anything. He was not interested and neither were you.

It was Friday night and you were hungry. It was past your usual time for dinner, but eating before the company dinner seemed inappropriate. ”Company dinner” was not the right phrase. It was more like a gettogether of colleagues. You had these from time to time. On this day John and his employees would be there too.

The restaurant had a more nostalgic feel to it. There were no chairs, just benches on either side of the worn tables. The ceiling was naked concrete and pipes ran from one to the other.

You sat down in the middle of the bench and greeted the two guys from John’s company. The others trickled in over the next 20 minutes.

“Hi.”

A familiar voice came from behind you. When you looked up, you were greeted by Junhee’s bright smile. He sat down next to you. Your colleague gave him a dirty look, when he squeezed himself between her and you. A warmth speared in your face. He looked gorgeous as always. The pullover he was wearing was just the right mix of casual and business for this event. You would have a hard time not staring at him. Maybe it was good that he sat next to you and not across. Although you had not minded looking at him all evening.

“I’m telling you I can do it!”

Minsu slurred his words a bit and some of his colleagues smiled. It was always amusing to see the innocent hubris of drunk people. He really thought he could beat anyone at arm wrestling.

“So who wants to try against me?”

He flexed his thin arms for show and now some people giggled. No one volunteered so he looked up and down the table. He pointed.

“Hey you, new guy! Will you wrestle me?”

Junhee smiled shyly at him. The pullover he had worn earlier was gone and he only wore a t-shirt now. A thin necklace disappeared under the collar. Only now you noticed how big his arms were.

“Sure.”

Junhee changed seats so he and the guy sat opposite each other. His arms looked even larger now that you had a comparison. They got into position. Elbows on the table and hands locked. One of their colleagues held their hand in the middle and counted down.

“Three, two, one!”

They began. Junhee strained against Minsu’s arm and bared his teeth, but it was no use. Minsu pushed his hand to the table and stood on the bench a moment later to let himself be showered in shouts. Junhee smiled slightly embarrassed.

When someone asked how he could have lost with his big arms, he laughed, “The muscles are just for show. Fashion muscle.”

He sat back down next to you and showed you a shy smile.

“Are you ready? Rock, paper, scissors!”

Rock was a mistake. The others left you standing in front of the restaurant with a very tipsy Minsu. You waved for a taxi and thankfully there was one just down the street that drove towards you. The old man stopped in front of you and rolled down the window. You could have just dumped Minsu in the taxi but you felt bad for him and got in the back seat next to him. Minsu looked like he was about to fall asleep and you were okay with that until you arrived at his apartment complex. You heaved him out of the taxi and dragged him to the door.

“Thanks. Your so nice”

He smiled in the “head empty” sort of way that only drunk people had. You still appreciated his thanks. Minsu was one of the only people who were still nice even while being this drunk. The door frame was his support.

“Sure. No problem.”

He leaned forward and you got a face full of his alcohol breath.

“I will tell you a secret.”

You raised an eyebrow and waited. He gave you a conspiratory look and said: “Newbie, let me win.”

Minsu giggled and started to fumble for his keys. You trusted that he would find the way to his apartment and made your way home.

A heat wave brought sunny blue skies. Maybe for the last time that year. You stood in front of your closet and made a decision. Today you wanted to wear a dress. This was not something that happened often but today felt like wearing one.

You did not like it, when people at work commented on this. Sadly, it happened every time you wore a dress. It felt like they were looking down on your usual clothes, because they were not feminine enough. You tried to ignore the feeling the comments induced and concentrated on your work.

Lunch came and went. You got in line for coffee as always.

“Hi.”

Junhee had appeared next to you. He wore his nerdy glasses and a bright smile. You were not sure, if he needed the glasses or not. Sometimes he wore glasses, but not always, and often they were just frames. He smiled the soft smile that he always had for you. The barista had seen you next in line and asked:

“The usual?”

“Yes!”

You and Junhee answered in unison. You giggled at this spontaneous synchronization. Junhee paid and you waited for your drinks. The barista set two cups down and put lids on.

“The dress suits you.”

She smiled at you and handed Junhee his coffee with a “there you go”.

“And the one for the girlfriend.”

She offered you the second cup while beaming like a neon sign in the darkness.

“Ehm..”

Junhee wrapped an arm around your shoulders and thanked the barista. You were a bit confused as he led you out. It felt kind of nice to be this close to him. The thought of how it had felt to hold his hand popped into your mind. You had not paid much attention to it at the time. Now you wished you could remember it better.

“Why didn’t you correct her?”

His arm loosened but he did not let go. You stared at him as you slowly walked towards the company building. A blush creeped up his cheeks.

“Would you like to go on a date with me?”

Lighting had struck out of a blue sky. You sank down on your chair, still trying to process. Junhee had asked you out. Kind, funny, lovable, gorgeous Junhee. And you had said yes. What had you been thinking? You were going on a date with him.

The water glittered in the evening sun as you walked along the river bank. Junhee had suggested meeting here for dinner. You thought it was a bit unusual, but seeing all the people sitting on benches made you rethink. There were a lot of couples here. Couple. Like me and … You licked you lips and shook your head as if you could simply shake off the thought. This is just a date, don’t get ahead of yourself.

You went to the cafe which Junhee had sent you. It was on the river bank with a bunch of tables outside. You were a bit early but when you came closer you saw Junhee sitting at one of the tables already.

“Hi.”

He dropped his phone and shot up from his chair, eyes wide open in shock. You waved and suppressed a laugh.

“It’s just me.”

Junhee calmed down and soon his smile returned. A waiter came over and both ordered something to drink. The evening sun warmed you and you were glad to have opted for a dress.

“That dress looks good on you.”

You looked up at Junhee whose cheeks had a light blush. He had cut his hair and it made him look even more handsome than before. Around his neck hung a delicate necklace, but the pendant was hidden under his shirt.

“Thanks.”

You felt very shy today, much more than at any point before. Now it actually mattered what Junhee thought about you. The way he smiled made your heart flutter. The waiter came with your drinks and you took a sip. Junhee had gone for a tea.

“No coffee today?”

Usually he ordered coffee so you had to ask. There was nothing else you could talk about right now.

“No. If i drink one now, I will not be able to sleep tonight.”

He took out the tea bag, even though it was probably too early and added: “Unless you want me to have a sleepless night.”

He looked up sheepishly.

“Why..? OH.”

Your face burned. Instead of an answer you sipped your drink.

“Oh! No! I mean, we could go to karaoke or party all night.”

Junhee’s attempt at saving the situation did not go down as he had planned, but you smiled at the prospect of him singing. There was no way he could sing. You did not want to leaving him hanging so you suggested:

“Or we could go to the cinema.”

His nervous laugh was adorable. You felt bold and took his hand to reassure him. Junhee froze and stared at your linked hands on the table. You hoped he would not pull back immediately, because the warm touch of his hand was so comforting. When he had got over his initial shock, his thumb began to rub over the back of your hands. The gesture made you warm from inside out and the fears you had had earlier melted away.

You spend the evening talking and walking around town, hand in hand. When the sun had set, Junhee accompanied you to the subway station.

“I guess this is it. Text me, when you get home.”

Junhee raised his hand as if to touch you but did not. The subway would come soon, you could feel the wind coming from the tunnel.

“I will.”

You were a bit embarrassed and looked at the band on the necklace around Junhee‘s neck as you added: “It was a nice evening.”

“Yes, it was.”

The subway arrived and the doors opened. You and Junhee shared a short hug before you sprinted for the door. As the platform disappeared out of view you regretted not having given Junhee a kiss on the cheek. You should have asked.

[hazelminesims]

Check In Tag ✔️

@therichantsim tagged me ...thank you!!

Why did you choose your url?

HazelMine is my gamertag when I first started playing Overwatch and I decided to make it the same for The Sims. I added sims on the end because HazelMine is taken by some ghost who is not even using it...lol! I thought of the name because my eyes are hazel and well..they are mine.. 😋

Any side blogs? If you have them name them and why you have them.

@hunniecakes - I haven’t posted there in a while. After watching Sweet Tooth on Netflix, I need to go back to my sweet little deer family.

How long have you been on tumblr?

I joined in 2006 when I was about to stop posting on my blogspot blog. I started sharing my sims years after that.

Do you have a queue tag?

I just use my sim families last names. Having a general tag could be fun. I have always loved @midpoosimmerr‘s tag “houston we have a queue.” I may have to think of one to add.

Why did you start your blog in the first place?

Just to get thoughts out of my head and I used to post stories (I don’t do that at all anymore.) I do have a family blog that I post on but it’s being updated at the moment.

Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

It’s my simself as a vampire... whom I need to play with more. Did I mention I love vampires? I need more Black vampires and supernaturals in my life.

Why did you choose your header?

It’s my simself as a vamp and her luvah man.

What’s your post with the most notes?

This one -  Maple hair bun

How many mutuals do you have?

I don’t know.. I have that thing on in xkit.. but just now..I love you if you are!! I actually have been wanting to find a space where could have like a group chat and check in and randomly chat whenever. I am in a few discords but I am just not good with that at all. The one thing Blizzard did well was the Battle net app. I have group with my family in it, so If we are all in game or strewn about the house..we can message each other.

How many followers do you have?

More than I expected. Not sure if they are all really active..like some have 0 posts... I am grateful for anyone I get to interact with on this app that shares a love of sims and all things good. I will say this number is pretty close to my follower number.

How many people do you follow?

Y’all ready? 3,860

Have you ever made a shitpost?

Umm...what? Everything matters. Don’t ever let yourself doubt that lovelies!

How often do you use tumblr each day?

Stay out of my business.<< LOL!! Love your response..and I am sticking to it.  @therichantsim

Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

Sooo once a month, I get a little more talkative and little more irritable... I try my best to keep my mouth closed during that time. ☺ I don’t see the need to fight though. A lot of young people are on here and I would much rather they see a healthy discussion between adults or at least between 2 or more people that can respect one another’s opinion.

How do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

Don’t force it. I love to reblog things that make me smile. Sometimes my arm/wrist/hand is hurting so I reblog less. Just do you.

Do you like tag games?

It depends. I will answer questions but putting my sims in outfits and situations, sometimes I just don’t like following rules..lol!

Do you like ask games?

They are okay.

Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

Mirror mirror on the wall who’s simblr famous of them all? @cinamun ^^ What @therichantsim said! And I will add @mellindi because I wish had her talent of storytelling too.

Do you have a crush on a mutual?

Soo... take these for tags for this “Check In” and know that I respect and have love for each one of you. I look forward to your posts, your sims, and in the midst of constant thought stream, I am always hoping you all are doing well and having a good day. @storiesbyjes2g @therichantsim @mellindi @sim4areason @sweetnovember77 @cinamun @geminispeaketh @capricornsim @xldkx @ladybugsimblr @helloavocadooo @cyberqueen-13 @wifemomsimmer @lovearound5am

[ramblingthoughtsofayoungadult]

Nev, Max, Help!-Nate Jacobs Oneshot

Requested: Yes

Warnings: aggressiveness and rudeness from Nate and a brief panic attack scene

A/N: The reader is gender neutral since the requester did not specify what they wanted and I did not want to disrespect the storyline from the show. Also, it’s a long one. 

  For once, Amy Winehouse’s low, melancholy voice did nothing to soothe my nerves as I typed what I was looking for in the designated box. “Love is a Losing Game” was definitely not the best song for the mood but I loved her voice so much; it was like a really messed up security blanket for me. My thumbs shook as I kept typing and quickly deleting my words. 

  Someone to have fun with.

  No, that’ll bring every single creep to my profile.

  Someone to watch Netflix with.

  Ew, no, they won’t want to go anywhere or do anything. 

  Someone to discuss Maya Angelou with...

  This could go one of two ways: attract a sensitive, nice person or the ultimate softboi who was really just an f-boy in a sensible cardigan.

    Okay, Y/N, just add to it.

   ...and have adventures, great conversations, and watch the best movies.

   That seemed broad enough and, potentially, weeded out all the weirdos. Patti Stanger would approve of this. I took such a deep breath that I could feel the oxygen in my feet as I pressed the green check mark. An adorable buffering sign appeared before being quickly replaced by a CONGRATULATIONS, Y/N/N, ON COMPLETING YOUR PROFILE. 

   The air came out of me slowly, like a balloon, and I tried to make myself relax as I swiped through different matches. One person was too short, the other too tall, another had way too many pictures with reptiles in his profile, and one’s bio simply read: DM and you’ll find out. 

  Serial killer much?

  “That’s part of your problem, Y/N,” Jules had chastised me a few day prior.

 “What do you mean by ‘part’?” I’d replied.

 “Well, for one, you barely leave the house anymore unless I drag you out,” Jules argued.

  “I’m busy,” I’d defended. 

  “Rewatching Breaking Bad for the eighth time does not count as being busy. Plus, you’re so picky.”

  “Am not!” 

  “You said you’d only do DiCaprio in his Great Gatsby days,” Rue had added.

  “Did you see him in that suit?” 

  Jules then shrugged. “All I’m saying is if you aren’t careful, you will end up all alone.”

  “That’s not true, Y/N might get cats.” 

  That conversation had haunted me since and had driven me to making a dating profile after the required Saturday night family dinner. While my parents and brother were downstairs watching a movie, I was holed up in my room, cringing and regretting accepting any chat requests. 

   Half an hour on the app caused the images of various male genitalia to be burned into my mind. I would need my brain soaked in holy water for it to be erased. I huffed and kept scrolling, vainly hoping and wishing for a decent guy to pop up on my radar.

  Maybe Jules and Rue were wrong. Maybe I had all the right in the world to be picky, I thought harshly to myself. 

  I dropped my phone on my nightstand and flopped against my pillows as Me and Mr. Jones began playing. I sighed and felt myself being lulled into the comforting abyss Amy created. 

   Ding!

   I jumped out and glared at the source of the noise. Another chat request, another picture to ruin my young brain? 

  “Be positive, Y/N, this might be good,” I stated as I grabbed the phone. 

  Tyler wants to chat!

   I frowned and opened up the app, only to be met with the most sculpted six-pack I had ever seen. My heart began banging against my chest and my thumbs fumbled for a moment to answer the chat request. 

  Whoosh. 

  My stomach dropped as I stared at my first chat to Tyler: Shg.ismtle

  I’m. Going. To. Die. Alone.

  I quickly typed: Please ignore that, I’m so sorry!

  Seconds later, my phone dinged.

  Tyler: Really? I thought you were trying to send me a secret code and I liked that we were that cool already.

  This was not real, this could not be happening. Tyler had to be a bot, that was why he didn’t show his face in his profile. Bots were supposed to have a hard time recognizing and creating faces, right? 

   But, on the off chance Tyler was real, it would have been rude to leave the conversation so abruptly? 

   Y/N: Who knows? Maybe it was a secret code and I’m just testing you.

   Tyler: Ok, let me guess what it means.

   Tyler: Hi? 

   Y/N: Haha, you really thought I’d use such a simple code as a first message?

   Tyler: It’s my bad for underestimating u. I should have known u were smarter since you read Maya Angelou.

  Y/N: U a fan? 

  Tyler: “You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.” 

  He knows Angelou? He could have Googled a quote though. Still, it’s a good quote to use if he had Googled it.

   Y/N: Nice, but, doesn’t get u out of the guessing game.

   As Tyler helplessly guessed wrong for several minutes, I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. I used to think online dating was a last resort or a breeding ground for predators. But, maybe there were decent people looking for something (or someone) meaningful after all. 

  Tyler: I give up, you’re really good. 

  Y/N: Thx. But, I can tell you what I meant to say. 

  Tyler: The suspense is srsly kiilling me. 

  Y/N: I meant 2 say hey.

  Tyler: I guessed that!

   Y/N: No, u guessed ‘hi’, there’s a difference.

  Tyler: C’mon, barely.

   For the rest of the night, Tyler and I chatted. He told me that he plays baseball at a school across town and he doesn’t like anyone around there. He liked John Mulaney stand-up, lemon bars, going to the gym, hanging out with his friends, and reading good books. He was an only child and his parents tended to spoil him. I told him about my friends and how I liked being on the swim team at my school as well as the different YouTubers and books I enjoyed. When I finally fell asleep, I dreamed of talking to him. 

   On Monday, Jules and Rue were hanging out outside the school as other people either headed to class or relaxed on the lawn. I could not stop my feet from bouncing as I walked up to them.

   “...and that is why Sailor Mercury is the most underrated character of the whole show,” Jules affrimed. 

   Rue seemed halfway interested as her head nodded slowly underneath the hood of her burgundy hoodie. “Cool, all I asked was who’s your favorite but, cool.” 

   Jules rolled her eyes playfully and straightened up when she saw me. “Hey, Y/N, nice shirt.” 

  “Thanks.” I wore a sky blue tie dye shirt with ripped jeans and white Converse.

  Rue leaned forward and squinted at me. “You’re not wearing black, something’s wrong.” 

  “Nothing’s wrong, she’s obviously been influenced by me!” Jules teased as she wrapped a slim arm around my shoulders.

  “Yeah, you can only hang out with this literal rainbow human so long before she starts influencing your outfit choices.”

  We started heading inside, which was really just Jules and me dragging Rue into the building.

   “But I don’t wanna be here. It’s so stupid that I have to wait six more months before I can legally decide where I spend my time,” Rue muttered.

  “It’s fine, you have us!” Jules insisted.

   “Yup!” I agreed.

  “Hey, Y/N, Rue, Jules!” Cassie greeted as she sidled up next to me. 

  We all greeted her.

  “Have a good weekend?” Rue asked. 

  “Yeah, there was this great party that Nick Davis threw. I swear, everyone there was on acid.” Cassie stopped herself and bit her bottom lip. “Sorry---” 

   Rue shook her head. “It’s fine.”

  “How were yours?” Cassie asked as we continued to our lockers. 

  “Fine,” Jules said.

  Rue shrugged in response.

  I opened my mouth to reply when my phone beeped and I wrestled it out of my pocket. 

  Tyler: Is it 2 late 4 a good morning text? 

  I smiled. 

  “You’re so cheesy,” I muttered under my breath. 

  “Who’s that?” Cassie asked, peeking over my shoulder.

   I jumped and cradled my phone to my chest like it was my child. “No one.” 

   Jules pulled open her locker and cocked a bleached eyebrow. “‘No one’ does not cause huge smiles like that!” She jabbed a sparkly-manicured finger at me. 

  “Yeah, show us,” Rue said. “We are your friends.” 

  “It’s nothing,” I insisted as I weaved around them. 

  I pushed myself against my locker and managed to open it with my free hand. Rue was on one side of me and Cassie was on the other. 

  “Is it a boy?” Cassie sang.

  “Or a girl?” Rue questioned.

  “It’s none of your business,” I gritted out as I grabbed my necessary books. 

  As I shuffled the books in my arms, Jules came from behind and slipped my phone away from me. I gasped, whirled around, and watched as Rue tried to look at the phone while Cassie playfully blocked me.

  “Guys, this is not cool! This is such a serious invasion of privacy,” I argued as I tried to move around Cassie.

  “We’re besties, there’s no such thing as privacy!” Jules retorted. 

  “Wow, Y/N, these are so----” Jules cut Rue off.

  “Adorable!” Jules squealed and turned to face me.

  Cassie took the opportunity to glance at my phone and she smiled. “Aw, this Tyler guy sounds so sweet.” 

  I snatched my phone from Jules. “Well, now you know. Can we please go to class now?” 

  As the other girls grabbed their things from their lockers, I got out my phone to reply to Tyler.

  Y/N: It’s never too late...until noon technically.

   Somehow, I started wandering away from the girls until I ran into someone. I tried to jump away, but they grabbed me by the forearms.

  “I am so sorry, I should have looked where I was going---” I stopped speaking when I recognized Nate’s direct gaze on me. I was pretty tall but I always felt like he could throw me into the lockers if he wanted to.

  “Watch it, Y/N,” he muttered. 

  “Nate, let go of them,” Maddy chided, her hand resting against one of his arms. 

  She seemed to have the magic touch because he relaxed and I joined my friends. As the couple continued down the hallway, I couldn’t help but admire them. In a very messed up way, they worked. Kat had told me only a little about what Nate would do whenever Maddy upset him and I felt so bad for her, angry at him, and then conflicted. Nate just had to have that stereotypical amazing all-American look.

  “You okay, Y/N?” Cassie asked.

  “Yeah, is it weird that I can still feel his eyes on me even when he’s not looking?” I asked. 

  “No, his need for dominance permeates everyone’s sense of autonomy,” Rue assured.

  “Nice,” Jules said. 

  “And scary accurate,” Cassie added. 

  Jule looped her arm with mine and steered us in the direction of our first classes. “Anyway, if he tries anything, I’m sure Tyler would gladly kick his butt for you.” 

   Throughout the day, Tyler and I chatted and I even had to get creative with responding. In English, I kept my head down during quiet reading time and made sure my phone was positioned just right in my lap. During geometry, I told Mrs. Packer that I was having some digestive issues and spent most of the class outside the bathroom, texting Tyler. At lunch, I could barely focus on my friends’ conversation.

   “Hello, Earth to Y/N?” Lexi waved her hand in front of my face and I blinked.

   “Sorry, I was----”

   “Texting her boooyfriiiend,” Jules sang.

   “He’s not my boyfriend, we’re just talking.” I started poking at my sandwich. “What did I miss?” 

  “Oh, nothing, just the fact that I nearly blew up the school during chem,” Cassie said. 

  “Magnesium chloride isn’t an explosive,” Lexi argued. 

  “Well, the tube overflowed and everyone was freaking out,” Cassie argued.

  “Yeah, because magnesium chloride can have bad side effects,” Lexi continued.

   “I wonder what would happen if the school exploded and we weren’t all here? Would they have to give us our diplomas?” I thought outloud.

  “Ooh, and I could go to fashion school early!” Jules cheered. 

  “I’d be happy not coming here anymore,” Rue admitted. 

  It was quiet for a moment as we all ate but that quiet was broken when Maddy yelled.

  “WHO ARE YOU TEXTING?”

  I couldn’t help myself but look. Maddy was standing behind Nate, who was sitting with his teammates at the center table. Bebe and Kat flanked Maddy a little behind. Everyone stared at them. Nate’s jaw tightened. 

  “Maddy, calm down,” his relaxed, controlled voice nearly echoed in the silent cafeteria. 

  “DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! YOU’VE BEEN ON YOUR PHONE ALL DAY!” she snapped. 

  “Maddy---” 

  “ARE YOU TEXTING OTHER GIRLS?” Maddy shouted.

  “Can we talk about this somewhere else?” Nate asked. 

  Maddy sighed. “Are you gonna let me see your phone?”

  “Maddy, we need to talk.” 

  “Don’t talk to me again.” 

  Before Nate could respond, Maddy dumped the contents of her lunch tray over his head and threw the tray aside. Kat and Bebe followed her as she strutted out of the cafeteria amid the shocked gasps. 

   “I’m gonna go check on her,” Cassie whispered.

  We all nodded and she quietly exited the room. As I stared at Nate, the supposed king of the school, drenched in soggy salad and fat-free milk, I wondered why he could never stay broken up with Maddy. Their relationship was not just toxic, it was volatile. Their breakups were always public and outrageous, but they always ended up back together. No one questioned it either. I never understood why people could continue to choose relationship they knew was bad over pursuing something new. I told Tyler as much that night. 

   Y/N: It’s like those dogs that get killed by electric fences because they keep walking into them.

  Tyler: U have a good point, but, that couple’s relationship is more complicated than u think. 

  Y/N: Probably, but, it doesn’t look that way. They hurt each other a lot.

  Tyler: How do u know? 

   Y/N: Bc I’ve seen it. I don’t mean 2 b judgy, but, I could never be in a relationship like that. 

  Tyler: Well, I don’t think anyone would b if they knew it would b bad. 

  Y/N: Good point. But, why would they get back together so much? 

  Tyler: Idk them, but, it could b bc it’s familiar and it’s what they know.

  Y/N: Still, it’s messed up.

 Tyler: Yeah, but I don’t wanna talk abt them anymore.

 Y/N: K, what do u wanna talk abt? 

  A few seconds later, Tyler sent me a picture so graphically beautiful that I was convinced I passed out.

 The next day, I showed Rue and Jules the picture during break time.

 “Holy crap!” Jules took my phone and leaned into it for closer inspection. 

 “Tyler is packing,” Rue agreed. 

  Jules slid my phone back to me. “You haven’t replied to him?”    “No, and he hasn’t talked to me at all today.”

  “He’s probably expecting a reply that’s similar to what he sent,” Rue said.

  My face warmed up. “I can’t send him nudes,” I hissed.

  “Why not? It’s like the greeting cards of our generation,” Jules stated.

  “Really? You’d send your grandparents a greeting card of your naked body?” I replied sarcastically.

  “Relax, if you’re uncomfortable, we can help you,” Jules assured.

  “We can?” Rue asked.

  “We can.” Jules gave her a look and Rue relaxed. 

  “It’s still weird, but, I guess you guys can come over after school.”

  “Sweet! Your mom still bakes cookies for you after school, right?” Jules asked.

  I nodded.

  “She might stop once she learns her darling favorite older child is sending nudes,” Rue snorted as she spoke.

  I recoiled in my seat, taking a second to bask in the sun’s warmth. “Don’t remind me.” 

  After swim practice, once my teammates left the locker room, I eyed my naked form in the mirror. I had nothing to be ashamed of, really, thanks to all the swimming, but, I just felt weird being naked in front of people. There was something so vulnerable about it, like, being on display in a museum or lying on a cold surgery table. But, online dating was supposed to get me out of my comfort zone and I’d found someone who’d made me feel comfortable enough to do it. With this resolve, I changed into a hoodie and some sweatpants and left the school. It was dusk and I typically walked home after practice since it wasn’t far. Plus, I’d told Jules and Rue to just go to my house after school. 

  The late breeze rippled past me and I dug my hands into my pants’ pockets as I started walking towards the parking lot. There was barely anyone around, except stoners hotboxing their cars, some couples making out, and dance team members and football players getting out of practice.

  I kept my head down as I maneuvered around the few cars and people around. It felt like someone could spot what I was about to do once I got home and it was nervewracking. All I had to do was get home, let Jules make me look even better, take these pictures, and never thinking of it again.

   “Something on your mind, Y/N?” Nate called.

   I froze and snapped my head up to look at him. He was leaning against his truck, looking like a model for Ford in only a tshirt and jeans. Ford should hire him. 

   “No, not really,” I said. 

   I started to side step the truck, eyeing the sidewalk that was only a few yards away as though it was a lifeline. 

  “Get in,” Nate ordered.

  I paused and looked at him. “Excuse me?” 

  “I see you walking home all the time, let me do you a favor, one athlete to another.” Nate was about halfway in the driver’s seat of the car and all I could do was stare.

  “We’ve...never really talked before,” I stated. 

  “We can talk during the drive.” 

   I stepped back and my eyes flittered around, like the best decision would hit me in the face. Then, I saw Maddy across the lot. She was standing with a couple of dance team girls, including Cassie. She stared me down as though daring me to do it. I glanced from her to Nate, who started the engine loudly. 

   I quickly climbed into the passenger’s seat and stared into Maddy’s reflection in the rearview mirror as he pulled out of the parking lot. 

  “How do you know where I live?” I asked.

  “You forgot that I gave you a ride before?” Nate asked.

  “When?” 

  “After Cassie’s sweet sixteen. You blacked out, your friends were panicking, and I offered to take you home. For some reason, you remembered your address,” Nate recalled.

  “Oh, thanks?” 

  “Sure.” 

  We pulled up to my house a few minutes later, Lil Wayne bragging about his conquests filling the quiet. I hopped out of the truck and grabbed my bag. 

  “Thanks for the ride, this one, I mean, I owe you,” I said.

  “Yeah, see you around, Y/N.” 

  I closed the door and headed inside.

  “I’m home!” I called.

  My mom poked her head out from the kitchen. “Y/N, how was school and practice?” 

  “Fine.” 

  “Was that Nate Jacobs outside?” 

  I hesitated. 

  How did she know what Nate’s truck looked like?  “Yeah, he gave me a ride today.” 

  “Aw, isn’t that sweet? Rue and Jules are waiting for you in your room. They took the cookies with them.”  

  I nodded and went to my room. As soon as I walked in, they bombarded me with questions.

  “Why did Nate give you a ride?” Rue asked.

  “What did you guys talk about?” Jules inquired. 

  “Don’t you hate him?” 

  “He’s kind of a dick, but, unfortunately, super good looking.”

  “Did Maddy see?” 

  “Do you think she’s gonna kill you?” 

  “Guys, I don’t know but I do know that if you do not take amazing pictures of me with no clothes on soon, I will delete my entire profile,” I interrupted. 

  They both nodded. 

  “But, we will ask for details later,” Jules insisted.

  “Okay, but, please give me a cookie, I’ll need it to get through this.” 

  Rue extended the plate towards me and I bit into the melty goodness as Jules began doing my makeup. It was simple, only bringing out my best features. I made them both turn around as I undressed. Once I had, Jules encouraged me.

  “You look amazing, I would be shocked if he didn’t jizz in his pants,” Jules said.

  “Lower your voice, Y/B/N can only play Five Nights at Freddy’s so loud,” I hissed.

  Jules held her hands up and Rue direct me to lay on the bed, my phone held up in front of her.

  “Okay, look sexy,” Rue said.

  I tried to smolder, but, by their expressions, I did not achieve it.

  “No, like, pout your lips, like, you just heard that TheOdd1sOut is not uploading for a month,” Jules directed.

  “And give the camera bedroom eyes, you know, as though it’s Tyler.”

  “Okay.”    After a few pictures, I slowly got the hang of it and even started posing a little naturally.

  “Oh my gosh, Tyra is shook!” Jules cheered. 

 “Yeah, these are pretty good if I do say so myself.” Rue handed me my phone and I flipped through the pictures. 

  She was a talented photogrpaher and I joked that maybe she should go professional.

  “Yeah, I’m sure I’d have a nice clientele.” 

  I laughed as I changed back into my hoodie and sweatpants. “Okay, help me pick one to send.” 

  Jules took my phone and she and Rue began scrolling.

  “No, the lighting’s off in this one,” Jules muttered.

  “No, it’s never off in any of these,” Rue argued. 

  “I’m not shading your talent, I’m just trying to find the best thing for Y/N to send Tyler.” 

  After a little more bickering, we all agreed on the picture and I sent it to Tyler.

  “Should I follow it up with something?” I asked.

  “Maybe say ‘Wrong person’? Guys want what other guys want,” Jules suggested.

  “Or say ‘Sorry for the late reply’,” Rue added.

  “I’ll go with Rue’s, sorry, Jules.” 

  Jules shrugged. 

  I sent everything off and my friends and I watched as Tyler typed a response.

  Tyler: It was worth the wait ;).

  We squealed so loud that my mom yelled for us to keep it down. We apologized as we descended into a fit of giggles. Through it all, I could not help but feel so bouncy and light all over. Was I...falling for this total stranger? 

  “What do you think he looks like?” Jules asked during lunch later that week.

  I shrugged. “It’s different every day, if that makes sense.” 

  “I guess that’s the nice thing about interacting with someone who doesn’t show their face,” Jules thought outloud. 

  “How do you see him now?” Lexi asked. 

  I sighed. “Right now, I think he’s tall, six feet at least. He’s got a mix of blonde and brown hair like a surfer because it’s lightened from all the time he’s spent in the sun. He has green eyes, freckles, and he dresses well.” 

  “Sounds amazing,” Jules said as she rest her chin in her hand. 

  Rue nodded slowly. “You’re not nervous or anything?” 

  “No, this is so cheesy, but, I feel like I know him, you know? He’s so easy to talk to and has so much to say.”

  “Y/N’s blushing,” Jules teased. “Do you love him?” 

  “I really, really, really, like him.” 

  “Do you think you’ll meet soon?” Lexi asked.

  I shrugged. “I don’t know, neither of us has brought it up.”

  “Well, it just matters that you’re comfortable, okay?” Rue said.

  “Okay.” 

  If I was honest, I did not know if I wanted to meet Tyler. I knew that I liked him more than I liked anyone before, but, there was something strange about breaking this wall the internet provided us. It was freer to talk on the internet than it was in person. What if I said something stupid in front of him? What if he thought that I looked different in person? What if he looked different in person? 

  I managed to keep these thoughts at bay for the rest of the day until I got home. Post-dinner had been officially declared Talk to Tyler Time. None of my family knew what I was doing besides blasting Amy Winehouse in my room for about an hour. My laugh nearly overpowered her high note in “Best Friends, Right?”. I had to blink away my happy tears as I replied to him. 

  Y/N: That did not happen!  Tyler: Yes it did! Do u want 2 c the scar????

 Y/N: No, I think I’m good.

 I wiped away my tears and settled under the covers. I wondered if his friends would agree that Tyler gets into some weird situations as well. Just as I started typing, Tyler beat me.

 Tyler: I want 2 meet u.

 The speed that I launched my phone away from me almost shocked me more than the text.

  Almost.

  My heartbeat thrummed in my ears. This was it, I knew I couldn’t avoid him much longer, but, I felt like I couldn’t move. All I could do was stare at my phone like it was the most offensive object in the world. Slowly, I regained mobility and grabbed my phone. I took a deep breath.

  “Take a chance, Y/L/N,” I whispered.

  Y/N: When and where?

    “You’re meeting him tonight?” Jules squealed the next day.

  I hushed her as people in the hallway paused to look at us. “Not so loud.”   “But this is so exciting. Please let me help you decide what to wear,” Jules pleaded with a pout. 

  “Sure,” I said. 

  Jules hugged me. “This is going to be so fun. I won’t go crazy with glitter since this is the first time you’re meeting this guy.” 

 “Thanks?” 

 “Do your parents know?” Rue asked.

 “No,” I replied as I slowly pulled away from Jules. “They’re coming Senior Night tonight, though. and I’m going to meet him at Mercy Park an hour before it ends.” 

 “Are you sure you even want to do this? I know that Jules and I tease you about your love life, but, this is risky,” Rue said. 

 “You weren’t saying that when you were helping me with those pictures the other day,” I shot back.

  “That was different. You’re...you’re actually meeting him now and he could be a psychopath or a sociopath or, just, a creepy old guy who likes to look at teenagers!” Rue insisted.

  “Rue, relax, everything’s going to be fine.”

  “You don’t know that!” She turned on her heel and hurried into the bathroom with Jules and I on her tail. 

  When we entered, Rue was leaning against the wall, panting and staring up at the ceiling. Jules and I approached her slowly as the girls who were in the bathroom quickly filed out. 

  “Rue, slow down your breathing,” I said slowly.

  “I...I can’t. You-you could get hurt or something and-and I would know about it an-and I-I couldn’t live with that!” Tears burst from her eyes as Rue began pacing and Jules and I were close but gave her room. 

  “Rue, Y/N is going to be okay, we both know what time she’ll be at the park. If anything happens, we’ll know the area she could be in,” Jules assured her.

  Rue shook her head and stopped in her tracks. Then, she looked between us helplessly before bowing her head and sobbing. Jules and I carefully hugged her and let her cry.

  “I’m sorry that I’m scared and I care about you and I don’t want you to get hurt,” Rue mumbled into my shirt.

  “It’s okay, I appreciate it. I really want to meet Tyler, though, and, I promise I will let you know if something happens, okay?” 

  Rue nodded and sniffled.

   It took Jules about an hour to make me look amazing. I had no idea my hair could be so fluffy and put together until she was done with it. She used eyeliner to make eyes look bigger and rounder and added sparkly lip gloss to make my lips look plumper. After she contoured and highlighted the best places she deemed that her work was done. My outfit, a fitted forest green long-sleeve shirt and fitted black pants with Jadons, was also approved by her.

  “Tell me everything later!” she insisted.

  Rue couldn’t join us since she had “prior commitments” but I texted her that I would let her know when I head to the park and when I leave. My nerves didn’t let me focus on the soccer game my parents insisted I joined them and my brother at. I couldn’t care less that the forward on one team got a yellow card or that the goalie on the other team made illegal blocks. I was practically buzzing with excitement and fear so much that I had to give my pretzel to Y/B/N. Finally, the third quarter arrived and I told my parents that I would meet them at home since I’d promised Lexi that I would help her with some homework. 

  Lexi wouldn’t mind being used for a lie this one time; it was an emergency.

  I tried to practice some calming deep breaths as I walked over to the park. The dark night sky provided a little bit of comfort to my walk. I wondered how different Tyler would look from the picture in my mind. I wondered if he thought I would look any different. Maybe (hopefully) it wouldn’t matter to either of us.

  Finally, I reached the park. It was empty, save for the oak trees scattered throughout the lush green scenery that seemed mysterious under the mooonlight. A few benches and wooden tables were around as well, but, Tyler and I had agreed to meet at the fountain which was further in the park. The breathing exercises had to have helped because I felt much more relaxed and I hoped that everything would go all right. 

   When I got to the fountain, there was a tall person facing it. All I could make out were dark clothes and broad shoulders. I took another deep breath and kept walking.

  “This is a nice spot, you have good taste,” I commented. 

  “I could say the same for you.” I stopped in my tracks as Nate slowly turned to face me. His face was unreadable but his eyes stayed on me. 

  “What? Wh-where’s Tyler?” I asked, my voice already hoarse. 

  Nate glanced down at his shoes. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know how else to talk to you.” 

  I shook my head. “No.” My vision got blurry but I could tell that Nate was looking up at me now. 

  “Just let me explain,” he requested softly. 

  He took a step towards me and I took two steps back .

 “I don’t wanna hear it. This....this is some sick joke to you or something?” 

 “No, never, Y/N, just listen to me.” 

 “I don’t want to!” The tears rolled down my cheeks and I swiped at them so hard that I thought I scratched myself. At least I could feel something because my heart felt numb. “You catfished me!” 

  “I just wanted to talk to you, I really do like you, Y/N. Tyler and I are the same, just different names,” Nate insisted, coming closer.

  For some reason, I didn’t move. I didn’t know if it was from emotional exhaustion or stress, but, I let him approach me. I kept shaking my head. 

  “No,” I hiccuped. 

  “I wanted to meet you tonight because I was tired of lying. I want to figure this, us, out,” Nate said.

  I sniffed. “Us?” 

  At that moment, I could actually see his face and Nate seemed so hopeful. There was a slight smile on his lips and his eyes seemed light for once. Maybe he wanted there to be an “us”. Maybe, despite all logic, he wanted to talk to me seriously and could not do it offline because of his reputation. Maybe, he was over the on-again-off-again situation with Maddy. Maybe, this was my chance, our chance.

  I wiped my face again, mentally cringing at how upset Jules would be for my ruining her masterpiece. 

  “Yeah, us.” Nate stepped closer to me, gently wrapped his arms around my waist, and pulled me into his chest.

  Gradually, my muscles relaxed and I relished in the feeling of his strong upper body and his warmth. Then, I began to feel pressure on my waist and gasped as it intensified. 

  “Nate, you’re...squeezing...too hard,” I rasped out. 

  And he started laughing, no, cackling. As he laughed, his grip tightened and I continued gasping and clawing at everything I could. 

  “Nate...stop!” 

  But he kept laughing and squeezing. When he finally released me, I looked up and saw nothing behind his eyes. Everything in me told me to run, but, I knew he could have easily caught up to me.

  “I really thought you were smarter than that, Y/N. C’mon, you couldn’t honestly think that I would do all this to be with you,” he sneered.

  “So why do it then?” I asked, my voice so small that I could have kicked myself for it. 

  Nate sighed and folded his arms. “Because you made it so easy and, to ask for a favor.” 

  “What? That makes no sense,” I argued. “I told you I owed you one that day you gave me a ride!” 

  “Yeah, well, I needed to make sure that you were available when I needed you.” 

  “Whatever, screw you,” I hissed as I pivoted on my heel. 

  “Too late for you, you’re already screwed.” Nate pulled out a folder from inside his jacket pocket. “Remember those special pictures you sent to Tyler? Well, they count as distribution of child pornography, which has a hefty fine and sentence.” 

   My mouth opened and closed several times before I faced him and responded. “But...but you held them, doesn’t that count towards possession? And, you’re extorting me!” 

  Nate glowered at me and stormed over. “Heresay, no solid evidence for your case. Plus, I’m a Jacobs, so, who are you kidding?” 

   I felt so sick to my stomach that I could have thrown up, fainted, or cried at that moment. This was not real, this could not be real.

   “What do you want?” I asked.

   “Like I said, just be available when I need you.” 

  “Fine.” 

  “Sorry, what was that?” He gripped my chin his hand and forced me to look up at him.

  “Okay,” I said softly.

  “Hmm.” His eyes scanned my face before he released me. “And if I ever hear you judging my relationship with Maddy again, these pictures are going to be the least of your concern.” 

  I nodded weakly, regretting every single thing I ever told him. Nate Jacobs was truly the devil. He wandered off into the night like a centurion leaving a victorious battle. It seemed like he always won. 

  I managed not to start crying until I was on the empty sidewalk. No, I sobbed so bad that my throat went dry. 

  How could I have been so stupid? I should have known it was him that day Maddy yelled at him for texting all day. 

  Stupid, stupid, stupid!

  My sobs continued as I grabbed my phone and texted Rue. 

  Y/N: U were right. 

[kuredono]

Sing Sing Sing [part 1 of penpals] | Fushiguro x gn!(clarinettist)reader

TW: mentions of throwing up, hospital despite the TW this is v fluffy! basically you and Meg have been penpals and you meet for the first time! but not in the way either of you would’ve imagined... 

"i think they're coming around now..."

"hello..?"

all you remember was taking a wrong turn down an empty alley on a sunny day, then you were in a cold building with an ugly looking monster holding the back of your neck.

you grasped at a knee, or maybe an arm, squeezing as your felt your stomach churn, though you kept your lips pursed together, willing for it to stay down.

"i think they're gonna be sick..."

"GOJO-SENSEI! HELP! THE CIVILIAN IS GOING TO THROW UP!"

fresh air suddenly hit your face and you threw up in a bush before everything went black again.

"-the thing up. afterwards it was pretty easy to deal with."

"you say that, but the civilian still got injured."

"hey! i didn't see you trying to catch them."

"i had my hands full already!"

your eyes were immediately assaulted with the bright sunshine as you tried to crack them open. you decidedly kept them shut and moved your lead weighted arms to cover your eyes.

"oh?"

"you awake?"

"what happened?" was all you could ask. you had tried to beat the ugly thing with-

"my clarinet!" you bolted up, eyes wide open and met with three equally wide ones (person one had a black blindfold?), but suddenly your head exploded with pain.

"go slowly. you hit your head pretty hard." a voice said as you groaned, squeezing your temples with your trembling hands. "do you remember what happened?"

"got lost walking back. woke up in a weird building and there was a funky looking thing. tried to run away, then some people turned up and the thing exploded. kinda gross."

"gross?!"

"i mean, they are super gross." 

"where are we? what's going on?" you dared to open your eyes again, more slowly, as you took in your surroundings. you were sat on the floor, leaning against a big black dog. how cute. you nuzzled your head into its fur, easing your killer headache. 

"we're in Akihabara, and i think you're concussed. we'd like to take you to a hospital." the one with white hair and the blindfold spoke with a kind smile.

"who are you?" you furrowed your brows together, feeling like you should run away because stranger danger ! but the dog was comfy, lulling you to sleep.

"ah, i'm Gojo Satoru, i'm a teacher at the Tokyo Jujutsu Tech High School, and they are my first year students. we were out on a field trip when we found you." the white haired male answered again. he was a teacher? you'd never be able to guess.

"Jujutsu Tech High School?" you repeated, the name distantly ringing bells. you turned your attention to the students. "i recognise that uniform."

"we've been in Akihabara and around Tokyo before! did you see us then?" the pink haired boy asked with a bright smile. you buried your face into the dog with a thoughtful hum.

"it's only natural we stand out you know!" amother voice voice sung.

"never in a good way." a calmer voice grumbled.

"i guess i just exude that kind of eye-catching aura."

"it's easy recognise beauty such as mine."

how did you get here? why was this happening to you? you were just performing with a marching band this morning, doing your absolute best and playing your loudest for someone. you wanted to stand out for someone. he said he'd come by but didn't. you weren't disappointed... well... you were, but you understood he had his reasons. he probably had classes because it's Thursday.

"Megumi Fushiguro?" you mumbled, the students around you falling silent.

"what did you say?"

"oh yeah, in Japan you say it the other way round don't you?" you chuckled, remembering how embarrassed you were when Megumi cared to point that out when you were discussing nicknames. "Fushiguro Megumi. think he goes to your school."

it was quiet for a moment before the students erupted into excited chatter, 

"Fushiguro! you know them?"

"why didn't you tell us!"

"what? i - i don't—" the calm voice was not calm, but his breath stuttered, "Y - Y/N?"

you had first met Fushiguro via letter in first year middle school, your middle schools partners for a penpal project. you had sent the first letter and even went through the extra effort to try and make a translation, though your characters were very messy so you made sure to also send the English original in case it was unreadable. it was nearly a month before your class got their responses, and it appeared you were the most lucky as Fushiguro's English was far better than your Japanese, and when comparing letters with your classmates, you had the most interesting response.

nearly a year and 7 more letters later, you were the only one in your class still in touch with your penpal, and with the year drawing to a close, the teachers explained that you could only send one more letter. so with a wish, you sent your phone number and downloaded several Japanese chatting apps. sure enough, 2 weeks later, there was a friend request on LINE from a Megumi Fushiguro. his profile picture was just a night sky, but you couldn't say anything, yours was sheet music. this anonymity continued indefinitely. at first you had no idea how often he was okay with you messaging him, and you added the Tokyo timezone to your clock app so you didn't message him at ungodly hours, but after a few months, Megumi would be your first thought when you saw a cute cat or something and you'd quickly snap a photo to send him. he also did the same, mostly pictures of the sky.

on Megumi's birthday, you sent a recording of you playing his favourite piece on clarinet, and for your birthday he sent you a playlist of songs he thought you would like. from then on, you continued to send him your repertoire and small recordings of your practices. then one day, when you talked to him about your most recent performance, Fushiguro asked for the link to the video. you did, but didn't tell him which clarinet player you were. he didn't ask either. you toed the border of your anonymity when you first moved to high school with a picture of you in your new marching band uniform, but from the neck down. you weren't expecting a photo back, but he surprisingly sent one back of his uniform from the neck down. his uniform looked much comfier.

then a spot for a Japanese high school exchange opened (one of the main reasons you chose to attend the high school you did), and though it was for second years, you fought and won the spot. you immediately messaged Fushiguro without checking the time in Japan. and as if that wasn't enough, the wind band in your Japanese high school were having a performance in Tokyo! Fushiguro was in Tokyo! you told Fushiguro, but then dread began to pool in your stomach. what if he didn't want to meet? you were totally fine with that. but you wanted to so badly! you remember your elation when he stopped you mid-anxious text ramble to say he would meet you.

you woke up to a white ceiling and the potent smell of disinfectant. the hospital curtain slid open to reveal a beautiful boy with deep blue hair and long eyelashes, his eyes widening at you.

"ah- good afternoon."

"good afternoon, how can i help?" you smiled, "i think you might have the wrong bay?"

"no. i- uh- do you remember what happened? do you, do you remember me?"

"um... no? i'm not really sure what you mean? i mean, i recognise your uniform- do you go to Tokyo Jujutsu Tech High School by any chance?"

"they said you would be concussed and you might have some memory problems..." the boy mumbled, "is it alright if i sit down?" your eyes darted to the curtain in panic, "ah, i'll leave the curtain open, our teacher is just signing you out the hospital, i'm Fushiguro Megumi."

"Megumi?!" you gasped, the boy smiling softly as you fumbled for words, "i- you- huh?"

"yeah... we have a lot to talk about."

"then, please! sit! i can't believe!" you covered your mouth with your hand, which did nothing to muffle your delighted squeal as he sat in the chair next to your bed. "wow. i mean, it's so nice to finally meet you in person!"

Megumi couldn't help smiling too.

"it's nice to see you too... and i'm sorry i didn't make it to your performance."

"hey, it's okay! we still met up!" you grinned brightly. Megumi then found his hands very interesting.

"and, um... your clarinet is broken..."

"that--" will be very expensive, the thought alone bringing tears to your eyes- your precious baby! it was worth more than your entire wardrobe and shoes! but you shoved that thought away until later. Megumi was here now, visiting you in hospital. "-actually, why am i here? what happened?"

Megumi thankfully didn't push the topic of your clarinet and gladly filled you in on what had happened. by the end of his explanation, you had your face buried in your hands.

"i'm so sorry you had to see that."

"it's fine, i've seen worse. besides, you were concussed, it's normal."

"still..." you whined, peeking between your fingers to find him offering you a hint of a reassuring smile. you gave in with a sigh, "i must say, that's some weird religion you have and they teach you, no offence."

Megumi chuckled, eyes distant, "you're right, it is pretty weird."

"but, um, thank you for saving me Megumi." said boy snapped back into reality very quickly, his cheeks flushing red as it dawned on you that everyone probably called him by his last name. "or do you prefer Fushiguro? am i pronouncing it right? sorry, i got used to-"

"it's fine." he uttered out, "Megumi is fine."

"what about honourifics?"

"whatever you're comfortable with."

"then... Megumi-kun? or is that too weird?"

the boy's cheeks darkened, "it's fine..."

"then you can call me Y/N-chan! then it's not as weird right?" you suggested, starting to feel the second-hand embarrassment.

"yeah." Megumi flinched too much when his phone chimed, and he hurriedly read it over. "Gojo-sensei -my teacher- said he's signed what you need to let you out. you just need to sign a few things before you go."

"right." well, the moment had to end at some point. you couldn't stay in the hospital bay forever. it was just an amazing coincidence that you had met Megumi, so you should be thankful you even had the opportunity to speak to him like this. "am i okay to move?"

"um, i'll call a nurse."

Megumi stepped out as you were examined by the nurse, and you saw him again in reception as you gave him and his teacher a thumbs up before signing the hospital forms.

"thank you very much for everything you've done. i'm so grateful. and please pass my thanks on to the other first years!" you bowed formally to the pair, Megumi flushing red while his teacher just waved you off.

"no worries. sorry about your clarinet and the concussion." the teacher responded.

"it's fine, i was always told i have a thick skull! comes in handy sometimes."

"i have to go now, but Megumi will walk you to the station, right?"

Megumi scowled at his teacher with an unreadable look in his eyes which seemed to make the teacher's smile brighten.

"well it was nice to meet you sir!" you bowed again at the adult, who nodded to you.

"nice to meet you too! hope you enjoy Japan. Megumi, be nice."

Megumi glared at the older man as he skipped away, seemingly pleased with himself for winding the younger up. Said male sighed.

"you don't have to walk me back if you're busy, i have GPS on my phone."

The boy startled at your comment, brows furrowed, before shaking his head, "it's fine, it's no trouble. i would feel better if i walked you to the station at least."

you couldn't stop the wide smile stretching on your lips, "thanks!"

"it's nothing."

you mentally thanked all the deities for letting you spend a little longer with your penpal, chatting easily as if you hadn't just met him less than 10 hours ago. by the time you had made it to the station, you had mentally prepared to part.

"so... i guess this is it?"

"yeah..."

"it was so nice to meet you- i cannot fully explain how nice this has been! even if i did spend a while in a hospital." Megumi chuckled at your words. you felt your cheeks heat up, his smile squeezing at your heart.

"i feel the same."

your train arrived.

"well. i'll message you later then?" you grinned hopefully, Megumi nodding. "hug? or do you not do those? i don't mind."

you nearly burst out laughing at the rush of emotions that flickered in Megumi's eyes- mostly panic. he blinked out his state when a giggle slipped out. he flushed red but nodded stiffly, opening his arms for you. you smiled as you wrapped your arms around him, feeling his wrap behind you too, surprisingly quickly considering how awkward he was at first. keeping it short because of the train behind you, you pulled away to find him also smiling. so he did like hugs.

"until next time?"

"yeah."

the doors shut and you waved to him as the train set off. and that was that.

your phone buzzed in your pocket.

Megumi: the school offered to pay compensation for the damages to your clarinet, so please let me know if and when you're free to go to a music shop in Tokyo to buy a new one.

sorry this hasn’t been proofread and the ending is kinda rushed because i just really wanted to publish it hahaha (catch me constantly editing this for DAYS now, so i probably shouldn’t post it but we die like men)

[auncyen]

So a long time ago I wrote a start of a fic where Ryuji gets knocked out from Shido's explosion and is thrown back into the real world, unconscious. Ren brings him to Takemi's clinic and then answers Ryuji's phone when he realizes Mama Sakamoto is calling, attempting to make some kind of cover story for Ryuji not coming home or answering his phone before it becomes apparent she ID'd Ryuji from the video calling card. She's coming over to the clinic, and she wants answers.

AND THAT'S WHERE IT STALLED FOREVER. If anyone would like to take a look at what I have of part 2, where she gets to the clinic:

Ren was in the middle of sending an update to the group chat when the door to the clinic opened. The woman who walked in was short and dark-haired, and Ren had the split-second impulse to ask her if she had a real emergency--god knew he didn't want anything drawing Takemi's attention away from Ryuji right now--before her eyes landed on him with a look of such contempt that Caroline might have asked for tips.

The text for the group chat was forgotten. It would have only been to report that there was nothing to report yet. "Sakamoto-san?" he hazarded, his voice wavering.

"Where," she said flatly, "is my son."

He didn't know why it should have thrown him off so much that her hair wasn't bleached blond--of course it wasn't. But even besides that, she really didn't look like Ryuji at all. Short, somewhat stout, with a wider nose and other differences in the face...when it came to looks, Ryuji must have taken after his father's side.

Ren immediately knew he'd rather eat one of his daggers than say that to either mother or son.

"Sakamoto-san," Takemi said, emerging from the back. "Your son is in here. He suffered a concussion and Amamiya-kun brought him to me for examination." Her tone was a bit more polite than her usual, if still casual, and Ren appreciated that maybe she was trying to pull his fat from the fire.

"I want an explanation for all of this," Sakamoto-san said angrily. "...But I want to see him, first."

Ah. Now Ren saw the family resemblance, both in her expression and her protectiveness.

Takemi nodded, opening the door for Sakamoto-san to go in. Ren started to rise from his seat, wanting to see Ryuji himself, but a flat look from the doctor stopped him cold. She didn't want him following.

Logically, he knew Takemi was simply keeping things orderly and controlled. Ryuji's mother was upset, and Takemi knew she was mad at him already. Better to keep him out of the room if Sakamoto-san might take any of Takemi's news badly.

But the feeling that stirred in his gut was blame and guilt, making him cover his face with his hands after the door had closed. He felt sick.

He couldn't deny his responsibility. It had been his idea to stall in the safe room instead of immediately stealing Shido's treasure after Futaba broadcasted the calling card. If stalling had been the deciding factor in Shido being able to manipulate his own cognition and cause the violent collapse... Then it was completely his fault.

He shouldn't even care about what Ryuji's mother thought of him, anyway. That could wait until after Ryuji had woken up. But the cold way she'd looked at him hurt, pathetically enough. He'd really hoped that she would like him. Mostly because Ryuji was afraid she'd be upset when he came out to her--she'd asked a couple of times about him getting a girlfriend. Ren was hopeful, considering she'd supported her son through thick, thin, and hair bleach, and might only be asking about girlfriends because Ryuji was way more vocal about his interest in cute girls than cute guys, but he understood Ryuji's fear. There was always the chance that it would be the one thing too far. So he'd wanted to make a good impression on her when they met, hoping it'd help her accept it better whenever Ryuji was ready to come out.

But Ren had also just...selfishly wanted Ryuji's mother to like him. He'd wanted to make a good impression on her because Ryuji always lit up when he talked about her, and she sounded like a great mom, and Ren wanted someone like that to look at him and think that he could be a decent match for her son. That he was a good kid.

Well. He'd fucked that up already. He pressed his fingers against his closed eyes, forcing a deep breath as he tried to press the tears back. This wasn't the time for being weak and selfish. He had to worry about Ryuji waking up first. Then he could worry about making sure Ryuji wasn't grounded forever, and that he wasn't strangled for endangering Ryuji.

Except that still left him with nothing he could do for the time being.

He felt so useless. He wished he could have taken Ryuji to Shibuya station. If he could have just gotten him to the entrance of Mementos with Morgana, the two of them might have been able to heal Ryuji. But they hadn't been sure if cognitive healing would help when someone was plain knocked out cold in the real world; bringing him to the clinic had seemed the safer bet. But now...

Ren groaned. First he'd left Akechi behind a solid wall of metal on a ship that was now sunk. And now, Ryuji...

Takemi was speaking to Ryuji's mother in the room at length, and Ren rested his head against the wall, hoping to hear through it. Good news? Bad news? He could only hear her tone, calm and level. Takemi wasn't the type to sugarcoat, but she still highlighted better outcomes when they were possibilities to her patients. She'd said once that people often had improved outcomes if they were given attentive care and thought they should get better. She called it a placebo effect. Morgana called it the power of cognition.

But since Ryuji wasn't conscious, he didn't know he was being treated by one of the best doctors in Tokyo. That he should get better and just please wake up.

Ryuji's mother didn't seem any happier when Takemi opened the door for her to step back out into the waiting room. Ren felt his whole body stiffen when Takemi closed the door again, half-expecting to be screamed at, but Ryuji's mother just stared him down. When she spoke, her voice was tightly controlled. "So you're the leader of the Phantom Thieves. What must your parents think?"

"My parents?" he echoed.

She laughed, but it sounded more disbelieving than genuine. "You think they don't know? I recognized Ryuji plain as day under that weird skull-mask. Yours shows even more of your face. Do they actually approve of all this?"

That was a question he hadn't even considered recently, and he weighed what honest answer he could give her that didn't sound self-pitying. No, he didn't think they knew at all. They didn't have reason to look at the calling card too closely. Didn't have any suspicions about his after school activities, or any clue that he wasn't even in school for the time being. Ryuji's phone had several voicemails from his mother tonight alone. Ren's phone hadn't rang once tonight, and it had been a while since he had gotten a message from either his father or mother.

He was taking too long to answer; something in Sakamoto's expression shifted. "I don't have their approval," he said quickly, before she could get further upset. "I act for my own sense of justice."

"An' you dragged Ryuji right along into it," Sakamoto said.

That wasn't quite accurate, but Ren nodded anyway. "...Yes." It had a grain of truth to it: Igor had given the app to him. Ryuji would never have been thrown into the metaverse if he hadn't run into Ren. And it would be better to just get this over with. Take her anger and her blame. It was his fault she was upset.

Ryuji's mother took a long, deep breath. "What happened?"

"It's...hard to explain."

"Sure, you steal hearts and desires and whatnot. I still want an explanation," she pressed.

...He had no idea if she'd be patient enough for an explanation of the Metaverse. He'd bet on not. So he described the situation in broad strokes: "The group was in trouble. Ryuji took a risk to get us out safe. And he pulled it off. We could have all ended up dead if it wasn't for him." Futaba didn't know how to swim. Even for the rest of them, the waters had been turbulent enough that Ren didn't think their odds would have been good, not when they'd also had to navigate to their entrance point in the dark of night, already exhausted from a grueling fight. Perhaps some of them would have made it out...he doubted it would have been all of them. "But he got hurt. I'm--I'm sorry. It's my fault we were in that position."

"Why?"

"I...made the group wait before we changed Shido's heart. I was hoping..." Ren's voice shook, and the rest of the words failed to come.

He'd been hoping Akechi would show up. If Akechi had been alive, no matter if he was hiding somewhere in the Palace or trying to stay under the radar in Tokyo, as soon as they'd took over the airwaves with their calling card and set the Palace's security to high alert, Akechi would know. He would know they were taking Shido's heart. He would know that they would be in the Palace.

He could have joined them. So Ren had asked everyone to wait for an hour in one safe room as he warped between all of them and entrance, checking to see if Akechi would manage to drag himself in. Ann and Ryuji had both volunteered to help, and he'd been grateful, but he figured it was better if everyone else stayed together so they weren't split up between several different locations. When he hadn't spotted Akechi in the hour, he'd come back to the group and asked Futaba if she could do a scan for him--a last-ditch request, since she had every right to refuse to help.

Futaba had looked absolutely miserable. She'd already tried multiple scans. There was nothing. Ren had made everyone wait for nothing. He should have known it was too much to hope after Akechi had closed himself off behind the door. He'd only given Shido more time to counter.

"We were missing one," Ren said finally. Maybe Akechi would have objected to being counted as one of the group, but it was the simplest way to explain now. And he...wasn't going to object, anyway. "I made the group wait, but they never showed."

"They in some kind of trouble?"

The question surprised him a little, but this wasn't a subject he wanted to dwell on any longer. "Nothing I can help with," Ren said.

-and that's it so far.

And I'm just kind of......unsure where to go from there. Which makes me wonder if I should have started the dialogue differently or change something else earlier or...what.