#and the part towards the end fucks me up as well

[featherymainffins]

Reblogging once more because I actually have to add that whenever I play Hallelujah I just started scream-singing during this part because some sort of primal and clawing emotion overtakes me.

me age 7 watching shrek and hearing the words "i've seen your flag on the marble arch love is not a victory march it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah" for the first time

[hiraizyo]

i hear your heart, now it’s racing.

synopsis — you were very aware of how possessive lara could be and despite the obvious interest from others, you only had eyes for her.

established relationship, high school au, fluff, possessive!lara, loser!reader, like two cuss words.

now playing: you belong to me, ari abdul.

a/n: came up with this after thinking about hot and sexy gf!lara. i need her to claim me so fucking bad... anyway, this includes reader being apart of the loser club with winter, yunjin and minji lmao.

this is a lot longer than what i usually write, so get comfortable :’) apologies for any typos & as usual, happy reading!

at the sound of the school bell ringing you let out a relieved sigh, finally able to leave the place everyone thought was hell on earth. quickly packing up your chemistry textbook and pencil case, you shoved it in your bag, already standing up and walking away from the desk.

you rushed out the classroom, barely hearing ms. park’s voice over the cluster of her students hurried footsteps, all trying to make their escape. the walk to your locker was short, feeling lucky that the hallway wasn’t nearly as packed as you expected it be considering it was now the end of the school day.

when you reached your locker, it didn’t take long until another presence was beside you. with your peripheral vision, you see that it was minjeong.

“hey,” she greeted you. minjeong blew up a piece of her blonde hair, the bangs almost covering her eyes. “do you wanna come over after the gig later? i got new a lego set for us.”

she rocked back and forth on her heels, the excitement clear on her face.

you and minjeong were similar in many ways. both of you were more on the quieter side, preferring to observe rather than interact with others. you both took your studies seriously, being top of your class. you also enjoyed the act of building lego’s together, bonding over it after she’d brought it up one day after band practice. and, you were both what your girlfriends described as ‘a loser in a hot body.’ you didn’t understand what it meant, but lara claimed that’s what you were so you didn’t question it.

“can’t.” you replied, shutting the locker door. “it’s date night with lara, and we’re going out after.”

minjeong pouted at not being able to hang out with you. building lego’s together was her favorite pastime between sleep, studying, band practice and hanging out with her girlfriend.

you flicked her forehead at the sight of her lips jutted out. “stop that, jimin may find it cute but i don’t.”

“ouch!” she yelled, rubbing at the now sore part on her forehead. “you’re so mean.”

you snorted, “and you’re so weak.”

minjeong scoffed at your words as you began to walk towards the double doors of the school, her hand tugging on the sleeve of the brown and white flannel you wore.

“we can’t all be jacked like you, ass.” she complained, moving to sling her arm over your shoulder.

“you can’t even see it!”

“that’s the problem.” minjeong huffed, raising her arm in the air. “you see this? these noodle arms look exactly like yours, except mine doesn’t bulge out when i flex.”

you had a bit of a sleeper build, the muscles only showing when there was tension. minjeong made a grunt, bending her arm as if she was flexing in order to add to her point. you laughed at her, shoving her arm down.

“whatever.” you shook your head at her, leading the two of you towards your car.

when you reached the parking lot, minjeong pulled her arm off you and got in the back seat once you’d unlocked it, leaving the door open for any conversation that came up. leaning against the gray vehicle, you pulled out your phone, shooting lara a text that said you were waiting outside for her.

the redhead spotted you as soon as she walked out the double doors, saying a goodbye to her friends and reminding them of what time you’d be playing tonight.

she approached you with a coy smile, looking you up and down. “well, you look absolutely delicious right now.”

the possessive streak ran through her body, realizing that everyone at school could also see how good you looked.

a blush appeared on your cheeks as she snaked her arms up your neck and locked her fingers together. “hi baby.” you mumbled, pressing a sweet kiss to her lips.

minjeong couldn’t help the cackle that escaped her when she saw your bashful state. pulling away from your girlfriend, you scowled at her.

“i don’t know why you’re laughing, i’ve seen you gay panic way worse around jimin.” you shot back, while minjeong flipped you off.

lara giggled at the interaction, placing a kiss on your neck and walked around to the passenger side. you both got in the car and the drive to minjeong’s place began. you’d be taking her home first before making your way to your place with lara.

after dropping minjeong and starting the route to go home, you glanced to look at the indian girl, who busied herself with looking through stories on instagram. you placed a hand on her thigh, tapping twice to gain her attention.

“are you sure you wanna come with me? the girls and i have to be there an hour before.” you asked, double checking if it was still alright with her.

“yes, i’m sure.” she looked up, locking her phone and lifted her arm to place it behind your head, nails softly scratching the lower part of it. “i want to be there for you.”

lara was an extremely supportive girlfriend, which you were grateful for. even back when you were just friends she gave you her full support, coming to a few band practices and going to all your shows. it was one of the reasons you fell in love with her, among many others.

“okay.” you said quietly, sending her a grateful smile and continued the drive home.

“and now, introducing fallen angel!”

the loud cheers of the crowd had your adrenaline rushing as you stepped out onto the stage. you walked over to your positioned spot, eyes searching for lara in the dimly lit place. finally catching her gaze, she waved and blew you a kiss, your smile so wide it hurt your cheeks.

“woo!” the scream came from daniela, who sat to the left of lara at the round table.

yunjin chuckled as the clapping and cheering died down. she reached up to hold the mic, her raspy voice echoing through the speakers.

“hello, we are fallen angel, and we’ll be doing a cover of about a girl by nirvana.”

the crowd erupted in shouts once again, a few loud whistles here and there. when everyone settled down, yunjin did the count down in her head, then began strumming her guitar. she and minji were on vocals, with you playing the bass and minjeong on drums.

the crowd was hyped as the song played, all four of you feeding off of their energy. you smiled when you caught lara staring, feeling your heart hammer in your chest against your ribcage. you weren’t sure made you more nervous, playing in front of all these people, or the look your girlfriend was giving you at that moment.

lara sang along to the lyrics, her upper body moving with the beat as she turned to face daniela, screaming along with her. her confidence in you swirled around in her chest. she was so unbelievably proud.

as the song began to end, she told the kats’ she’d be back soon, getting up from her seat and swerved through the people. minji thanked the crowd for their support, a couple more cheers being let out. their loud noises were still ringing in your eyes when the four of you walked to the side of the stage that was hidden from everyone.

as soon as you saw lara, you carefully placed down the bass and hugged her tightly, pressing her body against yours.

“you did so well, baby!” she rubbed your back as a sign of support. her mouth was by the shell of your ear, breath tickling you.

“thank you, my darling.” you mumbled into her hair, closing your eyes for a second as you basked in the comfort she brought. “i loved seeing you out there.”

lara leaned back, your arms still wrapped around your torso, cupping your cheeks. she smiled brightly, her pearly white teeth on display.

“and i will be at every show until the end.” she whispered, leaning in until you felt her lips on hers.

the indian kissed you with passion, adrenaline now coursing through her veins as well. her lips were soft like always, the lipgloss making them sweetly sticky, but you were used to it at this point. your hands gripped her, squeezing gently. she broke the kiss, her smile even wider than before and she pecked your lips a couple more times before pulling away completely.

“ugh, you guys make me sick.” minji commented, taking a sip of water from her water bottle.

minjeong hummed in agreement, sitting on a chair that was off to the side, her legs stretched out. yunjin, who was busy packing her guitar in its case, turned to face the rest of the group.

“tell me about.” she quipped, tucking her dark blue hair behind her ear.

lara turned around in your arms, her smile now turning into one of amusement. she raised her up arm up until her hand reached your neck, hanging it loosely as she gripped the back.

“sorry, which one of us has a girlfriend again?” you asked rhetorically, knowing that yunjin still had yet to make a move on her crush.

she grumbled under her breath, harshly zipping the guitar case closed. yunjin walked off after that, stomping her feet on her way out. you snickered at her antics, always taking the opportunity to tease her about her single status, even though you knew without lara you would probably still be in the same situation as yunjin.

minji pulled a jacket over her shoulders, ready to leave as well. “i still don’t get how you two happened.”

“me neither.” you said, looking down at lara with an adoring gaze. she could easily see the love in your eyes, and it made her feel warm all over. “but i’m lucky to have her.”

the redhead felt her heartbeat stutter at your words, her own eyes shinning with deep affection for you.

“mh, you’re all mine.” she told you, her voice low. she kissed you once again, before stepping away from you, her hand falling from behind your neck. your arms unwrapped around her, intertwining your fingers together once she turned around to face you again.

“let me pack up real quick and then we can go, okay?”

she nodded, giving your hands a squeeze before walked away. your hands lingered together, outstretched until she was out of your reach.

you picked up the bass that was leaning against the wall and placed it in its case, zipping it up and slinging it over your shoulder. bidding a goodbye to the two other girls, you looked for lara in the mass amount of people. spotting her with her group of friends, you wandered over to her. before you could reach her though, a girl stepped in front of you, blocking the sight of your girlfriend.

“you were really good out there.” she grinned, the corner of her mouth curving upwards.

“uh, thanks.” you told her, accepting the compliment with gratitude.

her eyes trailed down your body, the black and red jersey you wore hanging baggy on you. the girl ran a hand through her hair, ruffling it and tilted her head to the side. she thought you looked unbelievably hot.

“i’m haewon,” she introduced herself, hand outstretched for you to shake. you took it gently, letting go after a second. “it’s nice to meet you.”

“nice to meet you too, haewon. my name is yn.”

she chuckled at your words, her voice dropping an octave. “oh, i know. i’ve seen you play before, one of my friends knows you from your school.”

haewon trailed a finger down your chest, but you didn’t pay any mind to it. you glanced over her shoulder, trying to catch a glimpse of lara but the voice of haewon gained you attention.

“tell me, yn, have you ever written a song about someone before?” she questioned, her eyes quickly glossing over your lips.

“a couple, but i’m not sure if they’re good enough.” you told her honestly, holding onto the strap of the black case.

her hand dropped, and she stepped closer. you didn’t think anything of it, being completely oblivious to the tone of her voice.

“sounds like you don’t have the right motivation.” she leaned up, looking into your eyes. “if you want, i could be your muse.”

she was flirting with you, but you didn’t know that.

the oblivious look on you face made this even more fun for her. you were like an untrained puppy, being clueless to her intentions with you.

as you were about to respond, saying you already had one, lara came into view from behind haewon, her eyes sharp and filled with a fiery twinkle.

she’d noticed the shorter girl leaning closer from where she was with the girls, not even letting sophia finish her sentence before she was stalking over towards you. her jaw was clenched, feeling her body light up with jealousy and the territorial thoughts began to spiral.

“there’s my girl.”

she wrapped an arm around you waist, gripping tightly. yours immediately went over her shoulders, smiling down at her with a lovesick look. haewon was forgotten about in your mind, all your focus on the girl under your arm. lara’s mind, however, was screaming with foul words that she wanted to spit out at the dark haired girl.

she wanted to make her crumble, because who was she to flirt with you?

“oh hey,” you beamed, and lara tried not to rip a whole through your jersey with her nails when you gestured to the girl in front of you. “this is haewon, she’s a fan of the band.”

haewon fixed her stare on lara, eyeing her up and down. she gave a sickly sweet smile, waving.

the indian didn’t bother with politeness, a fake smile taking place on her lips. in a demanding tone, she barked at her. “back off.”

her fingers dug into the jersey, strongly pressing them against your side. you furrowed your eyebrows at her behavior, confused on why she was acting like. haewon was nice, thinking that she didn’t deserve the crude treatment.

“woah, lara,” you shot her a look, but she didn’t take her eyes off haewon, glaring at her. “i’m sorry, uh— again, it was nice meeting you.”

haewon didn’t give your girlfriend the satisfaction off backing down, shamelessly looking you over while lara tried to control her temper.

“likewise. i’ll see you around, yn.” haewon said, turning away from the two of you.

hearing your name falling from her lips, lara could feel her sanity slipping away. she was so close to tackling haewon, but the strong hold you had on her weighed her down. once the other girl disappeared into the crowd, you looked at lara with genuine confusion.

“what was that?”

she faced you, taking her arm away from your torso, and crossed her arms. “she was being way too friendly with you.”

“huh? but she was only talking to me.” you stated, thinking over the interaction in your head. your words caused lara to scoff.

god, lara hated how oblivious you were sometimes.

“i saw it, she touched you. leaning in close to you like she was about to kiss you.” her voice shook, the image of haewon’s finger on your chest burned into her mind. it only fueled her rage more, wanting to walk over to the girl and tell her off. “i’m the only person who gets to do that.”

now realizing how lara was feeling and the reason behind her behavior, you sighed. “baby—”

she cut you off with a light shove. it wasn’t forceful, but it was enough to have you stumble back, falling onto a chair that was placed at the bar, the case of the bass slid off your shoulder, it now being beside and you slipped the strap off completely.

the chair at the bar was one of those high stools, which made it easy for lara to step in between your legs as you widened them to make space for her.

the look in her eyes made you fearful, not that you were scared of her, more so of what she could do when she was like this. it definitely wasn’t the first time she’d been so possessive with you.

“listen very closely to me…” she started, her hand gripping your chin harshly. the many rings on her fingers were cold against your skin as you craned your neck upwards.

lara’s eyes were filled with a dark look, her jealousy getting the best of her.

“i don’t care what she said to you. you are not to talk to her again, you hear me?” you nodded at her words, the grip she had on you tightening.

despite lara being aware of your faithfulness, you still felt as if you had to reassure her. “you know i only have eyes for you.”

she chuckled. “i know that, but other people don’t. and i fucking hate to see them trying to take what’s mine.”

there was no denying how hot she looked right now, but you didn’t voice your thoughts as to not wanting to upset her further.

you brought her closer by the waist, squeezing them to let her know you understood. lara peered over at you, leaning down until she captured your lips in a rough kiss. her tongue danced over your lower lip, wanting access to your warm cavern. her tongue flicked over yours, all around the inside of your mouth. her hand moved away from your chin, up your jaw and behind your ear until both hands were in your hair where she tugged cruelly. lara used them to pull you away from her, smirking devilishly at your flushed state.

you were breathless, feeling lightheaded from the angry kiss. your heart was beating rapidly, body temperature rising. the place suddenly felt hot, and the jersey wasn’t helping either.

lara ran her thumb over your bottom lip, the color red and bruised.

“let that be a reminder of who you belong to.”

possessive lara pls save me 🙏🏼 hope y’all enjoyed, i’m taking a much needed nap now.. but sophia imagine coming up soon!

[rwuffles]

okay, so, calico cove has gotten me mushy — because of people crying over my notes, me getting emotional over the notes i got, and the community as a whole. blame them for this heartfelt mushfest, i guess; this is an appreciation letter because i can't keep my big fat mouth shut ever!

to the mogai community as a whole: thank you. for, what? i don't think i could get into the specifics if i tried. we are, to be quite frank, a mess at times — discourse and drama and pettiness galore — but god i'd be lying to say i don't love it anyways. i found the community when i was stuck in a really toxic friend group, and when i was starting to hide parts of myself in order to fit in / not get bullied. it didn't really work. but, i found everyone here. people who ided similarly to me, people who also hoarded stuff, and god i fucking adored all of the coining and npt blogs. it's been a really long ride, and i'm still trying to figure myself out as we go along, but i wouldn't be, well, xuân if it weren't for everything that this community has shown me. coining and flag-making have been there for me when i didn't have words to describe how i felt, and when i needed people who'd accept me for being me; it's shown me that i shouldn't settle for anything less than that. everything i do on this blog, really, is a love letter to the community as a whole and me trying to give back everything its given me, and i hope that's clear with how much love goes into everything i create.

and, god, don't even get me started on how much i adore everyone i've met through the community!

some people i'm not quite as close with as i used to be, and some people i don't talk with at all anymore, but i have to be honest when i say that i adore and am grateful towards everyone in the community i've met during my time within it.

to @vampitsm: what sort of appreciation letter would this be if it didn't include you? you've been my friend since, what, one of my old old blogs? it's been one whole year since we've become friends; can you believe that? it was actually right around this time that we started gaia's — or rather, sweetshop. when we first met, i'll be honest and say that i didn't think we'd stay friends long. i'd always held a fairly pessimistic view of the people around me — assuming they'd leave or i'd drop them one way or another. but, you didn't. you'd stayed, you were my friend, you sided with me time and time again. at some point, i found myself wanting to be your friend — even though we already were friends! i'll be honest and say that a lot of the time, when i do things, i hope that i'll make you laugh. you and your opinion mean a lot to me, and i always look forward to the next time we talk.

to @fangpunk: there's so much i could say about you, you little faggot (silly). when i'd first joined mogaiblr, you were one of our inspirations — we looked up to you, wanted to be your mutual, and just generally thought y'all were one of the coolest guys out there. who woulda thought that we'd have the friendship we do today? you're an amazing friend, i think you're one of the funniest people we know and you've always got something to say — in a good way! i love your input on every situation, and especially when izuku isn't scared to put his foot down in our place; you make us less scared to be ourself and encourage us to be less of a pushover. so, thank you!

to @cloverpilled: you're a real dork. my dork, though. maybe i should've realized i didn't quite just see you as a friend when i was vying for your attention and calling you 'my favorite' all the time; but, it worked out in the end, didn't it? everything you make — flags, rentries, layouts, etc. — are always wonderful and i still get giddy seeing you put 'taken' in your rentries and knowing that's me. i've always loved our friendship, and i can't fathom a world without it, especially not now that we're boyfriends. i know you're not the best with words — comforting, being open, all that jazz — and i've never minded it. really, i think you're one of the sweetest people in the world and you always try your best even if it's not in the most forward or obvious manner.

to shua: you. you have been in the fucking psych ward for the past... 4-5 months? i miss you so much, dude; i'm so happy you're going to be out in 2 days. i can't wait to spend the rest of the holidays with you and everyone else in gaia's. you're an amazing person, to be entirely honest, and i miss spending time with you. you've been my friend since before i was here on rwuffles. do you know how fucking long that is? i've looked up to you since forever, and i'm so happy that we're friends. i cherish you and i cherish our friendship as a whole more than i think i could ever express, sometimes i can't believe that we've been friends for so long, but we have! to another year of you & i!

to hadiyah: i have no idea what your current (?) tumblr account is, to be entirely honest, so i hope this finds its way to you one way or another. you're such an amazing person, i think you're so funny and i love talking with you — it's always a treat. sure, you aren't quite as active in gaia's anymore; i don't mind. i still consider you a really good friend of ours. you've been our friend since... the beginning of gaia's as well, i believe? so, really, i couldn't be more grateful to have you in my life and to have had you as a friend for so long! thank you, so much.

to @sevvys: sev. you. you are so cool and awesome and i love talking to you. thank you for being our friend — we don’t even remember how long we’ve been friends for. but, thank you. to be entirely honest, you’re an older sibling figure in our lives and we love being able to hang out and make stupid jokes; i think you’re really funny and i’ve always looked up to you in a way if that doesn’t sound weird? i don’t talk to you as much as i wish i did, and i want that to change, but you’re always super level-headed in my opinion and really good at handling discussions i guess. i don’t know how to express how cool i think you are. you’re just a really reliable, caring person i think

to @rabidbatboy: i think i’ve looked up to you for… an absurdly long amount of time. when you first started coining, you were one of the only people coining less “cutesy” stuff; it was definitely a breath of fresh air and we found ourselves super excited to see any new terms you’d come up with. to be honest? we still love everything you coin, even if we aren’t quite in the fandoms you’re coining for — plus i just think you’re awesome as a person. i love talking to you, as i’ve said to lots of people, you’re super funny and i always look forward to talking to you next! you’re not quite as active in gaia’s anymore, and i know you’re not the best with words, so i don’t expect anything grand in response; i just want you to know that i really care about you and i’ve always appreciated your presence.

to eddie: that’s right, oldie! you get a section, too! because i consider you a really good friend of ours, even if i don’t talk to you very much and you aren’t (?) quite in the mogai community. i really like talking to you and i like our back and forth banter a lot — it feels like you’re an older sibling of ours a lot of the time. i like being the annoying little brother to you, and i really hope that we can keep being friends. it feels really weird being genuine and expressing how much you matter to me considering how often we tend to jokingly butt heads, but i just need you to know that i really love our friendship and i can’t imagine it being any other way. i hope your holidays are good, ya old fuck (affectionate).

and, this section isn't quite for people who are in the mogai community. rather, friends & loved ones i've known since before then that i love with all my heart and that have supported me throughout everything — discovering myself and realizing how much i adore these labels. there aren't enough words to explain how much i love you all and appreciate your staying by my side and not abandoning me.

to elipse, my dear boyfriend: thank you. you’ve supported me through everything — even when it felt like everyone else was against me and i was left on my own again. you are my dearest, my beloved, my forever and my eternity; i’m not scared to be mushy about that. it’s been a wonderful two years by your side, and i hope for it to be many more. you’ve loved me through my ups and downs, my wrongs and rights, my weirdest moments and all the cute stuff in-between. you’ve been my number one supporter — especially when i was first starting to become a mogai coiner — and you’ve remained my number one supporter since. you’re the most wonderful boyfriend i could ever ask for: supportive, sweet, considerate, and amazing. i love you. 

to caelan, my lovely girlfriend: you!! you’ve been my best friend for seven years. do you know how long that is? i’m 16! i was 9 when we met! i’ve almost known you and akemi for longer than i haven’t! that is both a terrifying and wonderful thought: to have someone by your side for so long that you can recall more of your life with them than without it. i adore everything about you, and i’m so sorry if it seems like i’m a bit awkward or not the best conversationalist sometimes; everything about you is amazing and i just feel like a little wet dog near you somedays. i miss you so much, and i hope your break from fronting is going well, and that you know i love you and am so excited to talk to you again when you’re back. 

to akemi, one of my bestest and oldest friends: a lot of what i said in caelan’s note is what i’d say to you. we’ve known eachother for so long, that it’s hard to imagine my life if you hadn’t been in it. actually, i think my entire life would’ve taken a different course if we hadn’t met on that fnaf minecraft roleplay on hypixel — can you believe it? how such little things manage to make such big impacts on our lives and who we are as people? i know we don’t talk as much anymore, but, as i’ve said before, i consider you one of my dearest friends and you mean the complete world to me. so, thank you for having stayed by my side for so long, akemi.

to ice, my amazing sister: you!!! the sister ever!!! you’ve always taken on an older sibling role in my life since we met, and i think you just tend to slot into that role perfectly; thank you for always being there for me and taking care of me. i don’t think i’d have made it this far without you being there and reassuring me every step of the way. we might not be super close, or talk as much as i’d like us to, but i really enjoy your company and love talking with you. i’m just a little bit of an awkward guy. when you send me stuff on pinterest, it always makes me happy and i love checking and seeing that i have a new message from you. i can’t believe we’ve been friends for — how long is it, at this point — six years? i think around that time. that’s unbelievable to me.

to smg, my one & only brother: the stupidest most dorkiest most infuriating brother i could ever have the pleasure of knowing and being able to call my brother. that’s what you are. you and your stupid brainrot and stupid jokes and stupid everything — i could never imagine a world where you aren’t my brother. even if you act like you don’t care a lot of the time, you make sure we know that you do care (even if it’s in your own, stupid little way). i love being your friend and i’m so grateful i’ve had you in my life for so long. you are the first and currently the only online friend who i’ve been able to meet irl, and i hope to be able to see you again sometime soon. even if you never quite got the labels that i’d talk about or ramble about, and even if you might get on my nerves sometimes, you’re still my brother at the end of the day and i wouldn’t want it any other way.

next up, we have people who i don’t quite talk to as much anymore who’s presences in my life i really appreciate. of course, i’m not sure if all of them still have tumblr blogs — most being deactivated — or if they even really want to hear how i care about them. so, really, i’ll leave this brief and say that this part is addressed to: ghost, mimsy, and woodbyne. thank you guys for having played such a large role in our lives at one point or another, and i wish you all the best even if we don’t talk as much nowadays. 

i don’t think that i can dedicate a paragraph to everyone, even if i really wish i could, as i don’t think most people are going to be willing to read through this whole post with the length that it’s getting to. so, i’m just gonna tag a bunch of people? just to let you guys know that you’re loved in every which way even if i have a shitty time showing it to all of you? 

the sillies ever who are so kind and sweet and i enjoy everytime they send me asks, reblog, leave a reply, or just interact with me in general: @ainoshonen @smilepilled @angeltism @zoeynovie

coiners that are actually a lot smaller than i thought they were that i think are so cool and need more recognition: @acronym-chaos @nostalgiagender

OTHER coiners that i think deserve recognition for the things they do and the stuff they create even if i didn’t think they were big at first: @sylviestial @pupcoins @love-letterworm @jiiamp @boingogender @kitsflagz

other BIG coiners that i look up to and have looked up to for a long time — whether we’re currently actually friends (which i still can’t get over), we don’t talk a lot if we do know eachother, or that i haven’t met personally: @idwl @kiruliom @webby-mogai @gender-mailman @puriette-archived @lunentity @the-astropaws @lepus-fangs

everyone who participated in mogai team-up, which, i can’t get over the fact we’ve managed to hit 1k followers because holy SHIT that’s a lot of fucking people, but thank you guys for coming together to help me celebrate it and let this fucking monster of an event (very positive) happen in the first place: @daybreakthing @floraeth @kylertism @robofox-mogai @dragonpuff17 @novaurora @flutteringwings-coining @xyrthemost @catboy-autism @cannibalisticcoinz

if i didn't tag you... uh. our memory is shit, sorry! i tried to remember everyone and i'm literally going to cry if i forgot someone

finally, to everyone in calico cove: thank you. for all of you coming together to help me create a community that’s so loving, so sweet and accepting that it has managed to become a safe space for a plethora of people that i’d have never imagined it to. you’re all lovely, and i’m so glad to be able to share a space with everyone and anyone that’s there. calico cove as a whole just makes me super emotional — cheesy, i know — but it’s essentially one of my dreams come true. it’s been an aspiration of mine to be able to create safe spaces with people wherever i go, and to foster an environment where people feel safe to be themselves without ridicule or fear of judgement. i’m so glad that i’ve been able to create that in calico cove. to hear you guys say or admit that it’s a safe space for you makes me emotional everytime, even if i’m not fully able to convey that to you all. 

thank you to everyone in the mogai community; have a happy holidays!

[imjustasugablob]

Feel Me Up pt. 2

trainer! leon x trainee! female! reader

part 1

tags: piv, penetration, teasing, spanking, dick riding, agegap(implied), slight degradation but reader is a smartass back

You lay in bed, staring at the dark outline of the dangling ceiling lamp. The soft snoring of your bunkmate acted as white noise, but you still couldn't sleep.

Did I really just try to hook up with Leon? And then walk away?

You could hardly believe what happened wasn't just a wet dream. Even in a dream you couldn't imagine walking away from that position. But when it came to Leon you acted almost on autopilot, making snarky remarks in response to his questions, trying your best to piss him off, just as he did to you.

You didn't really know why you did it. Maybe to show him that you weren't as weak as he thought. But tonight must have really proved that you could match him.

You got out of bed, grabbing a jacket and tying up your shoes. You realised your hands shook a little.

Fuck, there's no way I'm getting any sleep tonight.

Might as well take a walk.

You weren't going to find him, just going on a simple walk to ease your nerves.

Right?

Then why are my hands shaking?

As you made your way to the yard behind the dorm building, you came across the rooms reserved for senior officials of the government posted here. You didn't know how, but you did end up in front of Leon's private chambers, staring at the engraved nameplate fitted into the mahogany door. A faint light could be seen peeking from under the door, spilling out onto the hallway. You simply stood there, thinking back to the day you first met him, all the way to earlier tonight. How you'd always found him attractive, but it seemed simply improper to think those thoughts, so you buried them away.

Suddenly, you heard a click in the doorknob.

Shit, is he coming out?

You tried to hurry away but your shoes seemed to be welded to the floor beneath you. Like a deer in headlights, you froze in place as the door swung wide open.

Leon, seemingly surprised by your appearance, stood completely still at the threshold. Your eyes took a second to get used to the light coming from inside his room, but the first thing you noticed was that he wasn't wearing a shirt.

Oh, God.

It wasn't the first time you were seeing him like this. After all, it wasn't uncommon for the men you trained with to ditch their shirts halfway through practice, drenched in sweat. But it was different that time. It would have been weird to ogle at him as he explained to you the basics of striking technique, although some of the girls didn't seem to think that it was unprofessional to eyefuck him in broad daylight.

No, it wasn't like this.

Right now, he looked vulnerable. His hair was disheveled, bags drooping under his eyes. He straightened his slumped shoulders, blinking the strain out of his eyes, as if he thought you were a hallucination.

Everything about him looked softer now. Except for his eyes.

You couldn't tell what he was thinking, but looking into the cerulean depths, you could imagine it to be the violent sea crashing against the cliffside with enough force to cut through the ancient rock.

You cleared your throat, having lost all the earlier ferocity with which you had taken control over the older man. "Uhm. H-hey."

He didn't respond, but continued to take you in with his eyes. The tension still lingered, draped over you like a weighted blanket, making it hard to breathe correctly.

"You should go." Leon finally replied after what seemed like ages. His voice sounded gravelly, deeper. His tone was devoid of any emotion, not even a hint or acknowledgement towards what had happened between you two.

"Yeah, I was just- yeah. Okay.", you said as you turned away from his body, slowly yanking your eyes from him, with great difficulty.

You walked slowly, maybe a couple metres, before realising that he hadn't shut his door.

Why isn't he going back?

You paused, not knowing whether you should turn around or not. Was he waiting for you to?

In a split second, a thousand thoughts seemed to be rushing through your mind. Leon consumed all of them. The way his hand felt in yours, his calloused fingers leaving marks in the dip of your waist. How beautiful he was.

Was it even a question?

You slowly looked over your shoulder to find Leon leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed, like he just knew that you were gonna go back to him.

Like his fucking lap dog.

However casual his pose was, his eyes gave away how he really felt, as they darkened on seeing the desire in your own.

In just two steps you crossed over to where he was, and he closed the gap between you instantly, pulling you into a deep kiss, your chest flush against his. It felt like you were continuing from right where you left off.

Leon pulled you into his cabin, shutting the door behind him and pinning you against the wall without breaking the kiss. His tongue flicked across your bottom lip, and you parted your lips as he began to explore the inside of your mouth.

"You're not going anywhere now, darling", he said as he reached behind you to lock the door. The word didn't feel endearing, but rather a taunt, inviting you to retaliate.

You dug your nails into his shoulders, causing him to groan into your mouth. "Don't get too cocky now, Kennedy."

A rookie referring to a senior agent like that was bold. Not bolder than having sex with your direct superior, though, you thought as you felt his boner pressing up against your thigh.

He chuckled softly. "Oh, you just have to run that pretty little mouth of yours, don't ya?"

"I think it's high time you stop taking it and show me how it makes you feel", you said.

You broke free from his arms and made your way to his bed. Taking off your shirt, and then your pants as you faced away from him, making sure to give him a great view of your ass.

You heard his low growl, which made the hair on your neck rise.

You felt him approach you from behind before he pushed you into the mattress, landing with your ass up, directly facing him. Before you could get a word out, a hard slap landed on your ass, stinging as he kneaded the soft flesh.

"How it makes me feel? It makes me wanna fuck that dirty mouth of yours till you can't say shit no more."

Another slap resounded in the room, making you moan out loud this time.

"Oh you like that, don't you? You want me to treat you like the little whore you are, hmm?"

You had never really been into degradation before.

I guess this is one way of finding out.

Leon pulled aside your panties as he ran his fingers over your slit, covered in arousal.

"Already so wet for me. You shouldn't have left earlier baby, I would have taken care of your little problem."

He slowly made his way to your clit, rubbing circles over the bundle of nerves, making you grasp at the sheets, desperate for release. God, you were so pent up.

"I need you...", you managed to croak out between laboured breaths.

"Then say it." Leon increased the speed of his fingers on your clitoris now, bringing you closer and closer to the edge. He slapped your sensitive bundle, not hard but enough to make you see stars.

"Leon, I need you inside me! I want your dick, please let me-" you choked up as your orgasm washed over you that very instant, making you writhe in pleasure as he brought you down from your high.

"That fast? Fucking hell." Leon felt the blood rush straight down as he looked at you completely fucked out from just his fingers. You could be as defiant and bratty as you wanted when it came to talk, but the way his fingers seemed to know every inch of you made you completely helpless in front of him, reduced to a blabbering, pleading mess.

Leon flipped over your body, climbing on top of you as he kissed you once more, now with a sense of impatience and desperation. Your little show had affected him much more than he was letting on, and he'd be damned if his dick wasn't inside you as soon as possible.

You tugged at the waistband of his sweatpants, encouraging him to take them off. In the dim light, you could see him rummaging around for a condom in his bedside drawer before hearing the sound of ripping foil.

He positioned himself at your entrance, rubbing his tip back and forth over your slit as his unintelligible murmurs against your ears sent you in a trance, repeating his name over and over like a mantra as he pushed inside. It was definitely a stretch, added to the fact that it had been long since you found yourself in bed with someone.

You gasped, overwhelmed by the sensation. You could feel the throbbing vein on his cock against your velvety walls, making your toes curl in pure, unadulterated pleasure. Leon pulled out completely, leaving you whining. He was teasing the hell out of you, which couldn't have been easy for him, either.

A wave of anger rose at this thought, how he would deny himself pleasure just to see you suffer. You suddenly sat up and climbed onto his lap, positioning his cock just right, and sank down on him all the way to the hilt.

Leon moaned out loud at the unexpected feeling. Your walls clenched around his length, like a prison he never wanted to leave. Grabbing his shoulders, you began rocking your hips up and down, not breaking eye contact.

"Fuck, baby, you're so good at this."

You might have blushed if it was coming from someone else. Who were you kidding, you would never have dared to act this ambitious had it been someone else. But Leon was different. You didn't have to think when it came to him. All you wanted was to make him feel good. To hear that sweet, sweet praise from his mouth, that he had denied you all those weeks at training.

Leon grabbed your hips and pulled them inwards, changing the angle and hitting your G spot. He began meeting your hips with his own, thrusting upwards, drilling even deeper into your pussy. You were on the verge again.

"Come on, baby, come for me. Come all over my dick," Leon said as his thrusts began to grow sloppier.

His dirty words did the job of sending you over the edge, the burning knot in your stomach coming undone at his request. He wasn't far behind, fucking you through your orgasm as he reached his own, whispering your name the whole while.

Your breathing slowly returned to normal as you continued to hold on to him, feeling him going soft inside you.

"God, that was good," you said.

"Training's in an hour, princess. There's still time for some extra lessons, don't you think?"

tw: LONG authors note rambling ahead

thank bloody HEAVENS this is over. I mulled over a completely written out story, decided it's trash, erased it all instead of writing a new draft and wrote something EVEN WORSE. I'm not satisfied by how this turned out at all, but honestly I had to rush it cause I'm going through some personal (DINO) crises. Also can y'all tell I've never had sex before 💀 I really wanted to include oral but I ran out of time and mental energy. I'll write it in some other fic and make it actually good this time. Thank you for reading my story nevertheless and a comment really means the world to me, i really appreciate all the love and support I got on the first part. I never thought I'd get a 100 likes on the first ever work i publish and I'm sorry for this one being a disappointment. I probably won't be writing again for a long time cause I have a really big paper due after the holidays but oh well I wrote the first part in an hour the DAY OF a big submission so we'll see. Thank you once again, and happy holidays!

xoxo

BLOB

[sadistichaunt]

@dickgraysonsptsd : #i've been thinking about this sooo much mal .. sladick dynamic is so sexy when focusing on dick as brain and slade as heart

YOU GET ITTTTT

I dunno this is gonna be such a rambling post but. I definitely think that they themselves believe they embody the opposite (dick as heart and Slade as brain). Dick, especially in opposition to Bruce, is bright and funny and loud. He was Robin , for Christ's sake. But on his own, when he's not under Bruce's wing, he's analytical, he's a bitch, he's downright cold when he wants to be.

But he wants emotion to come easy to him. It doesn't. Look at how he acts- yes, he lashes out at times, but the way that he intellectualizes things leaves little to no room for processing the emotional part of things. (Dick strikes me as the type to be like "well. I understand *why* so and so did this thing- I'm going to act upset because I *should* be upset, but it's mostly playacting through emotion rather than actually feeling it. I know why they did it, I know how to avoid this situation in the future, so it's no skin off my back.) (not that he doesn't feel emotion- he absolutely does. But at his core he's a performer. Who's to say how much of his intensity is real?)

(I'm not as much of an expert on dick as I am Slade, this is my general take on him, not the complete analysis of him)

So when he sees Slade- someone who's cold and analytical and professional, being *emotional?* He gravitates towards it. He craves that realness, that genuine feeling (even if it hurts him in the end) because it's something that he's never been able to obtain for himself.

Slade, on the other hand, fights tooth and fucking nail to keep that Deathstroke reputation. He refuses to give up a name to save his own son for that reputation. But when it comes down to it, Slade is such a deeply emotional person that it colors *everything* he does. There's this line somewhere in TNTT vol.1 when Grant first dies. Slade *knows* the Hive got him killed on purpose. He knows that they were trying to get to him. He tries to play it off as a "I have to finish my son's legacy" but the only reason hes doing anything is because he cares. He loved Grant, in his own fucked up way, and his hurt + anger at his death was what fueled everything for him. No one would blame Deathstroke for ignoring a contract that wasn't even his. No one even knew that Ravager was his son, at least not the people that mattered.

So, just like Dick, he gravitates towards what he doesn't have. He sees someone who, supposedly, has the same mask that he's wearing. A professional and aloof facade. But where they differ is that Slade drops his mask, sometimes. When they're fighting, when the contract gets a little too personal, when Dick says something that digs a little too deep. What pisses him off is that he can't seem to find any cracks in Dick's mask and he wants to be the one to pry underneath it.

Somehow, the personalities between Dick and Slade have gotten totally mixed up in fandom??

Slade is an INCREDIBLY emotionally-person. Nearly all of his major decisions come from his connections with other people. He took up the Titans contract because his son died during it. There's like, at least a dozen lines in TNTT where Slade admits that he doesn't care about contracts, he doesn't care about the money, he takes most important contracts based on his personal investment in them. At his core, he's prideful, but even that is set aside in favor of his relationships.

(even with Joey. Joey just wasn't important enough for him)

Dick, on the other hand, is cold and calculating in almost every sense of the phrase. He's quick as a whip and clever, and his compassion + empathy somehow makes this... Disappear when it comes to fan content. He turns into a caricature of the "bubbly, golden retriever" stereotype instead of the FAR more intriguing personality that he has. He cares, of course he does, but that is overshadowed by his analytical brain. Look at this like from TNTT (I forgot which issue- it's when him and Kory's relationship was in it's infancy)

Dick: Besides. I think I've always been too introspective for my own good.

Kory: I know I love you. Isn't that enough?

Dick: I don't think so. You see, I only think I may love you.

[cowboybeepboop]

Hunted

"What are you doing to me, little one? You're driving me insane.."

Pairing: Sergei Kravinoff x fem! Reader 

Genre: Smut

Word count: 4.5k 

Summary: Sergei finds you lost in the woods, comes to your rescue, and seduces you all in one day. 

Warnings: Mentions of being chased/harassed by men, being hunted, uses of “little one”, a size kink, unprotected sex, oral (both receiving)

a/n: Guys I’m so obsessed with Kraven omg, since I’m on break right now I’m grinding the fuck out of writing. also, I didn't proofread (per usual) I hope you all enjoy and send any requests you might have my way

You’re a little lost, well more than a little. Somehow you ended up being taken by a few strange men, and managed to get free but what good does that do if you’re lost, cold, alone, and limping in the Siberian forests? 

You drop down to rest, wrapping your arms around your body as the cool air assaults you. Trying to think of what to do next, while keeping in mind that there are three crazed men on the hunt for you. 

Kravinoff observes silently as he watches you drop to the ground, wrapping your arms around yourself to keep warm. His expression remains stoic, his eyes taking in every little detail about you. As he watches you shivering, he can't help but feel a small pang of...sympathy? No, that can't be right.

After a few moments of silent observation, Sergei finally breaks the silence, his voice gruff and blunt. "Lost, little one?"

You flinch at the sound of his voice, immediately reaching for a branch to attempt to defend yourself. "G-go away.." you murmur weakly, teeth chattering as you speak, your eyes trained on the floor. 

Kravinoff raises an eyebrow at your display, his lips twitching into a slight smirk as he sees you reaching for a branch to use as a weapon. 

He slowly takes a step closer, his heavy boots crunching in the snow as he does so. "You're a feisty one, aren't you? But that weak voice and shivering body are hardly intimidating."

"Please.." you murmur, eyes watery as you gaze up at him with puppy dog eyes, reminiscent of something his younger brother would do. "Please don't hurt me.." 

Sergei's expression softens for a moment as he looks down at you, the puppy dog eyes tugging at a very small part of his heart that he's long since tried to bury. "Hurt you? You think I'm going to hurt you?"

He takes a few more steps towards you, his eyes roaming over your form, taking in the sight of your shivering and shivering body. "You're trembling, little one. And that limp, you're hurt."

"It's not that bad, I can walk," you whisper, watching as he approaches you slowly. 

"Not that bad, hm?" Sergei lets out a scoff, his dark eyes flickering over your body. "You're shivering from the cold, and you're clearly hurt. You can barely stand, let alone walk."

He crouches down in front of you, his large frame towering over you. "Tell me, what's your name, little one?"

"My name is Y/N.. there's these guys, they're hunting me. I don't, I don't know what to do." Your expression is pleading as you weakly stand up, shakey voice matching the trembles of your body. 

Sergei's expression darkens at the mention of other men hunting you. He glances around, his eyes scanning the area like a predator watching for prey.

"Hunters, huh? And they're after you. Interesting." Sergei's eyes return to you, his hand instinctively going to rest on the handle of one of the knives holstered on his belt.

"Why are they hunting you? What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything," you lean toward him, seeking the warmth that's radiating from his body. "At least I don't think I did? All I remember was waking up in a tent, they said that we were going to play a game.. I-" you trail off, a small tear falling down your cheek. 

Sergei watches as you lean towards him, a small pang of sympathy shooting through him again when he notices the tear rolling down your cheek. He's not used to comforting people, but something about you triggers a protective instinct within him.

"A game... What kind of game, little one?" He asks, his voice gruff but surprisingly gentle. He gently reaches out and places a hand on your shoulder to steady you.

"He said they would hunt me.." you mutter, voice barely above a whisper as a whistle sounds through the air. You press your body to his, eyes wide with fear, "i.. think they're getting close." 

Sergei's expression hardens as he hears the whistle through the air, his hand instinctively tightening on the handle of his knife. He glances around once more, his senses on high alert.

"Shhh," he murmurs, his other hand gently reaching out to hold you closer to him. "Stay quiet. They won't find you."

He pulls you to his chest, his large frame shielding you partially from view as he scans the woods once more.

You bury your reddened face into his chest, breathing in his musk and seeking safety in his grasp. Your arms move to cling to his waist, holding yourself closer to him. 

Sergei's nostrils flare as you bury your face into his chest, the scent of your skin, mixed with the musk of the forest, filling his senses. He can feel your arms clinging to his waist, the feel of your body pressed against his stirring something deep within him. He slowly reaches up and rests his hand on the back of your head, gently holding you against him.

"Don't worry, little one," he murmurs gruffly, his eyes still scanning the woods. "You're safe with me." You nod against his chest, too tired to speak. 

Sergei can feel the exhaustion radiating off you, your weary body leaning heavily against him. His fingers gently brush through your hair in a small, comforting gesture.

"You're exhausted," he murmurs, his voice still gruff but softer than before. "Let's find somewhere we can rest and get you warmed up."

Sergei shifts ever so slightly, his large frame adjusting so he's able to lift you gently into his arms, cradling you like a child.

You gasp as he effortlessly picks you up, arms instinctively going to his neck. "Where will we go?" you murmur.

Sergi glances down at you, your arms instinctively wrapping around his neck, and a small smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. He enjoys the feel of you in his arms, the way your body fits snugly against his.

"Somewhere safe," he replies, his voice gruff. "Somewhere these 'hunters' won't find us."

Carefully, Sergei begins moving through the forest, his powerful legs carrying both of you through the deep snow with ease. You nuzzle your face against his shoulder, finding him comforting in the vast forest. 

As you nuzzle your face against his shoulder, Sergei can't help but notice how much he's enjoying the feel of you in his arms. Your warmth against his chest, the soft sound of your breathing, and the gentle feel of you nuzzling against him.

He continues to move through the forest, weaving through trees and navigating the deep snow like a natural tracker. Every now and then, he glances down at you, his eyes taking in your tired, but now tranquil face.

You drift to sleep in his arms, body going limp as he continues to trek toward his home. Bringing you closer and closer to a warm safe shelter. 

Sergei feels your body go limp in his arms, signaling that you've fallen asleep. His arms instinctively tighten their grip on you, holding you securely against his chest as he continues to trek through the snowy forest.

Each step brings you both closer to his home, a small cabin nestled deep in the forest, away from the chaos of the outside world. As he approaches the cabin, Sergei can't help but feel an odd sense of protectiveness over you.

He gently pushes open the door to his cabin and steps inside, careful not to wake you. The cabin is warm and cozy, illuminated by the soft glow of a fireplace in the corner.

Sergei carries you over to a large, comfortable armchair and carefully sets you down, ensuring you're settled and comfortable. He takes a moment to gaze down at you, his eyes roaming over your tired face as you sleep.

He sighs deeply, his hands resting on the arms of the chair as he contemplates what to do next. You stir slightly at the lack of his body against yours, your arms reach out, seeking him once more. 

As you stir and reach out for him, searching for the warmth of his body, Sergei can't help but smirk to himself. He's not used to being sought after like this, and it brings an odd feeling of satisfaction to him.

He steps closer, gently taking hold of your seeking hands and holding them in his own large, calloused ones.

"I'm right here, little one," he murmurs gruffly, his voice low so as not to startle you.

As the morning sunlight streams through the windows, bathing the cabin in a warm, golden light, you stir in the soft, comfortable embrace of the armchair.

Sergei, who had spent the night keeping watch by the fireplace, notices your movements and rises silently from his chair. He watches as you pull the soft cloth blanket up to cover your face, a small smirk tugging at his lips.

He takes a step closer, leaning against the back of the armchair, and speaks in a low, gruff voice. "Morning, little one."

"You never told me your name.." you murmur, sliding out of the chair and sleepily moving to his side. 

Sergei's eyes roam over your sleepy form as you move to stand beside him, a small chuckle escaping his lips as he hears your question.

"I suppose I didn't," he says gruffly, his eyes watching you with a mixture of amusement and something else, something he can't quite place.

He lifts a hand and gently tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, before replying, "My name is Sergei. Sergei Kravinoff."

"Sergei.." You repeat, settling onto the ground next to him, basking in the heat of the flames.

As you say his name, a small shiver of satisfaction runs through Sergei's body. He can't remember the last time anyone has spoken his name with such soft, sweet lips.

He watches as you settle onto the floor next to him, your body seeking the warmth of the flames. He can't help but admire your small, fragile form, your skin flushed and weary but still so very beautiful.

He glances down at you, his voice still gruff but softer than usual. "You should eat something, little one. You must be hungry."

Your face lights up at the mention of food, your stomach growling as if on cue. "I am a little hungry.." 

A small, satisfied smile tugs at the corners of Sergei's lips as he watches your face light up at the mention of food, and hears your stomach growl in confirmation.

"Looks like that settles it," he says gruffly, pushing himself up off the floor. "I'll fix you something to eat. Stay there and warm up."

Without waiting for a reply, he strides over to the small kitchen in the cabin, starting to prepare a meal.

You turn to watch his movements, craving his company at your side once again. A feeling of heat rises in your stomach as you gulp, eyes glued to his muscular frame. 

Sergei can feel your eyes on him as he moves around the kitchen, his muscular frame easily handling the preparation of the simple meal. He can't help but detect a hint of something in your gaze, a heat that he's not sure he quite understands.

He glances over at you, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his lips as he meets your gaze. "What is it, little one?" he asks gruffly, his voice filled with a mix of curiosity and mild amusement.

Your cheeks flush a bright pink, causing you to shake your head. "Nothing.. it's nothing." you reply softly.

Sergei's smirk grows wider as he notices the bright pink flush on your cheeks, knowing that he's caused a reaction in you. He can't help but be captivated by the innocent, shy look on your face.

He lets out a gruff chuckle, returning to his task of preparing the meal. "It's not nothing," he says, his voice holding a hint of playfulness. "You're staring at me, little one. I can feel your gaze on me. What are you thinking?"

"You're just very big.." you whisper, shocked by the words coming from your mouth. Clenching the blanket tight around you, you carefully adjust your clothes, feeling your panties becoming wet.

Sergei's eyes widen slightly at your words, a soft chuckle escaping his lips at the innocent bluntness of your statement. He can't help but be amused by your shyness, your flushed cheeks, and the way your body fidgets under the blanket.

He turns to face you fully, his eyes roaming over your form, drinking in the sight of you. He can sense the change in you, the heat in your body, and he can't help but wonder if you're even aware of it. 

"Is that so?" he asks gruffly, his voice holding a hint of something else, something deeper.

You nod, mind wandering to.. other parts of him, and how big it might be. "Mhm.." you murmur, looking up at him as he brings you a plate of food.

As you nod and confirm his words, Sergei can't help but notice the way your eyes wander over his frame, lingering on certain parts of his anatomy. He knows what you're thinking, and a small smirk tugs at the corner of his lips.

He approaches you, holding out the plate of food. As he does, his eyes lock onto yours, his voice gruff as he speaks again. "Eat up, little one. You need your strength."

"Thank you Sergei.." you smile up at him, taking the plate and beginning to take a few small bites, your mind still focused on him. 

Sergei watches as you take the plate and begin to eat, his gaze studying you intently. He notices the small, subtle things, the way your eyes wander over his form, the way your lips move as you chew.

A small, amused smile tugs at the corner of his lips as he watches you, his own thoughts wandering to the same subject as yours.

"You're welcome, little one," he grunts, his voice gruff and low. "Make sure you eat all of it. Can't have you wasting away on me."

"Yes sir," you murmur between bites. Comfortable silence fills the air as he takes a seat next to you, his shoulder lightly brushing yours.

As you finish your meal, the silence of the cabin is filled with a comfortable stillness. Sergei lowers himself down to sit beside you, taking a moment to admire the sight of you as you finish eating.

His shoulder lightly brushed yours, the contact sending a small shiver through his body. Despite his gruff and stoic exterior, he can't help but be drawn to you, your innocence and vulnerability stirring something deep within him.

"Feeling better now, little one?" he asks, his voice a low, gravelly murmur.

"Much better," you grin, leaning against him, your hand falling to his lap. You're craving more, more of his touch, more of him, you just need him. 

As you lean against him and your hand falls to his lap, Sergei's body tenses momentarily, his breath catching in his chest. He can feel the heat radiating off your body, the slight weight of your hand on his thigh, and it awakening something within him.

He can't help but glance down at your hand, then back up at your face, a mix of surprise, desire, and a hint of hesitation in his gaze. "Little one..." he growls, his voice deep and hoarse.

"Yes, Sergei?" you breathe out, biting down on your bottom lip with desire. 

Sergei's eyes are fixated on your biting your lip, the sight sending a wave of heat through him. He can feel his body reacting to your closeness, to the desire in your voice.

He leans closer to you, his breath tickling your ear as he speaks, his voice a low, gruff whisper, "What are you doing to me, little one? You're driving me insane.."

You gasp as his voice sends shivers down your body, leaning closer to him you find a small amount of confidence. You slide your hand up his though, nearing the place you're most curious about. "Sergei.. I'm curious about something.."

As your hand slowly slides up his thigh, nearing a sensitive spot, Sergei's body tenses once more, his breath catching in his throat. He can feel the heat of your touch, the desire in your movements, and it's driving him wild.

He glances down at your hand, then back up at your face, his eyes dark and intense. "What is it, little one?" he growls, his voice thick with desire. "What are you curious about?"

"How big is it?" you gulp, looking up at him through your lashes as you settle between his legs. Almost salivating at the thought of seeing his cock.

As your words sink in, and your body moves between his legs, Sergei's breath hitches in his chest, a low growl escaping his lips. He can feel the heat in your body, the desire in your gaze, and it's driving him crazy.

He looks down at you, his eyes dark and ravenous, as he responds in a low, guttural tone, "Are you sure you want to know, little one?"

"Mhm, I'm really curious," you whisper, hand sliding to the buckle of his belt and slowly maneuvering to remove it. "Is this okay?"

Sergei watches as your hand moves to his belt, slowly working to undo the buckle. Your touch is innocent yet filled with a desire that he can't deny.

He takes a deep breath, his chest rising and falling as he contemplates your question. "You're very forward, little one," he says gruffly, his voice thick with a mix of desire and surprise. "But yes.. it's okay."

You slowly remove his garments, moving to free his hardness. Your body trembles in anticipation, desire coursing through you.

As you remove his garments, revealing his hardness, Sergei's breath hitches in his chest, his body trembling slightly as you bare him to your gaze.

He watches you, his eyes roaming over your face, studying the mix of desire and innocence in your expression. He can feel his own desire growing stronger by the second, a mixture of primal need and unexpected gentleness.

"Look at you..." he mutters gruffly, his voice thick with want. "You're so, so curious.."

Your hand wraps around his thick hard dick, eyes wide as you take in the sheer size of it. "I want to taste you," your gaze is focused on his length as you stick your tongue out, licking his tip slightly.

As you wrap your hand around his length, a low, guttural moan escapes his lips, his body tensing at the feel of your touch.

He watches as you lick his tip, your gaze fixed on his manhood, and it drives him crazy. The heat in your eyes, the desire in your movements, it's driving him to the edge.

"Is that so, little one?" he growls, his voice thick and strained. "You want to taste me, do you?"

You nod, lips wrapping around his throbbing cock. Your mouth is full of his manhood, eyes fluttering shut as you moan at the taste of his precum.

With a deep, shaky breath, Sergei allows you to continue, his eyes fluttering shut as he feels the warmth of your mouth engulfs his cock. The sensation sends waves of pleasure through his body, his muscles tightening and his heart racing. 

His hands instinctively move to the back of your head, guiding your movements gently as you take him in deeper, your soft moans muffled by his flesh. The feeling of your wetness and the gentle suction as you work your mouth over him is almost too much to handle, and he has to fight the urge to thrust into you.

Sergei's eyes snap open as your eager mouth continues to explore him, his grip on the back of your head tightening slightly as he watches you with a mix of hunger and amazement. "You're a natural, little one," he grunts, his voice strained as he feels himself getting closer to the edge. 

His hips begin to move almost imperceptibly, matching the rhythm of your mouth. The warmth, the wetness, the way your tongue swirls around his head – it's all too much for him to handle. He can feel his orgasm building, the tension coiling in his stomach and balls, begging for release. But he doesn't want this to end yet. He wants more of you, all of you.

With a sudden urgency, he pulls you off his cock, panting heavily. "Not yet," he growls, his eyes burning with desire as he looks down at you. He lifts you up and carries you to the bed, laying you down gently before climbing over you, his large frame looming over you protectively. 

His hand moves to the hem of your shirt, sliding it up to reveal your soft, pale stomach. His lips follow the trail of his hand, kissing and nibbling gently, leaving a path of heat in their wake. 

You gasp and arch up into his touch, your own desires spiraling out of control. His rough hands begin to unbutton your pants, his gaze never leaving yours as he slowly reveals your most intimate secrets.

As he unbuttons your pants, Sergei's eyes are dark with need, watching your every reaction with a predatory focus. 

He can feel the heat between your legs, smell the sweet scent of your arousal, and it's all he can do to not rip the rest of your clothes off in one swift move. But he holds back, enjoying the slow, methodical unveiling of your body.

He slides your pants down, his calloused hands brushing against the softness of your skin. His eyes are drawn to the small, lacy underwear you're wearing, the stark contrast to the ruggedness of the cabin and his own attire not lost on him. 

With a smirk, he hooks his fingers under the elastic and pulls them down, revealing your bare, shaven pussy.

"So beautiful," he murmurs, his voice thick with lust. His eyes roam over the delicate folds of your sex, the sight of your wetness making his cock throb even more. He leans down and presses a kiss to your inner thigh, his breath hot and heavy against your skin.

You whimper at his gentle touch, your body quivering with anticipation. "Sergei," you breathe out his name like a prayer, your legs falling open wider to give him better access. You can't believe this is happening, but all you want is for him to keep going.

His mouth follows the path of his kisses, moving closer to your core. When he reaches your pussy, he lingers for a moment, his breath fanning over your sensitive flesh before his tongue darts out to taste you. The sensation is electric, sending bolts of pleasure shooting through your body as he explores you with the same curiosity and hunger he had when you first touched him.

"Oh god," you moan, your hands fisting in the sheets as his tongue delves deeper into your wetness. He licks and sucks, his beard scraping gently against your thighs, sending sparks of pleasure through you. Your hips buck against his mouth, seeking more, begging for it.

Sergei growls in satisfaction, the sound vibrating against your clit, sending you spiraling closer to the edge. His hands move to grip your hips, holding you in place as he devours you, his tongue swirling and flicking with expert precision. You're lost in the feeling, your world narrowing down to the warmth of his mouth and the exquisite pleasure he's giving you.

And as your orgasm builds, he slows down, teasing you, making you beg for release. "Please," you whine, your voice desperate and needy.

He looks up at you, his eyes dark with lust and something else, something that makes your stomach flip. "Please what, little one?" he asks, his voice a low rumble that resonates through your core.

"Please, make me cum," you plead, your voice barely above a whisper.

With a smirk, he goes back to work, his tongue and lips bringing you closer and closer to the precipice until, with one final, hard suck, you're tumbling over, your body shaking with the intensity of your climax. You cry out his name as waves of pleasure wash over you, leaving you trembling and breathless beneath him.

Sergei watches you come with a fierce satisfaction, his cock pulsing with his own need. He moves up your body, his eyes locked on yours as he positions himself at your entrance. "Are you ready for me, little one?" he asks, his voice a gruff whisper.

You nod, your eyes glazed with passion as you reach up to pull him closer. "Yes," you pant, your body arching up to meet his. "I need you inside me."

And with that, he pushes in, filling you up with one long, slow stroke that has you gasping for air. Your bodies fit together perfectly, like two puzzle pieces finally coming together. He begins to move, his thrusts deep and measured, his gaze never leaving yours as he takes you, claiming you as his in this moment of raw, primal passion.

With a fierce growl, Sergei slams into you, his cock stretching your tight pussy as he takes what he's craved since the moment he laid eyes on you. The feeling of you, warm and wet around him, is indescribable, and he can't hold back any longer. 

He begins to pound into you, each stroke hitting just the right spot, making you scream out in ecstasy. Your legs wrap around his waist, pulling him deeper, your heels digging into his muscular back as you meet his rhythm, urging him to go faster, harder. 

The bed beneath you creaks and shakes with the force of his thrusts, the headboard slamming into the wall in a steady rhythm that matches the beating of your heart. The room is filled with the sounds of your passion, the slapping of skin on skin, the harsh breaths, and desperate moans that fill the air like a symphony of desire. 

Your nails dig into the smooth skin of his back, leaving swollen red marks on his tanned skin, your pussy clenching around him as he continues to thrust into you. With each move of his hips, you become more and more needy, gasping and moaning his name. 

Sergei’s movements stutter, his hips pushing flush against yours, his head digging into your g-spot. His thick cock swells inside of you as your grip around him, your body coaxing his orgasm out of him. 

He buries his face into your neck, moaning lowly as he fills you with his warmth. You arch up into him, spasming around his still-hard length. 

“Fuck, oh fuck…” you whine, eyes fluttering shut as he collapses onto the bed next to you, pulling you to his chest. 

[justmeinadaze]

Inescapable Final Part (Steddie X You)

A/N: Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and all that fun stuff <3

Warnings: Convicts Dom Older Steddie (Sir Eddie/ Daddy Steve) & Fem Sub Younger Y/N, SMUT, light dirty talk, light choking, slight over stimulation, dp

ANGST, continues where the last ended, Olivia isn't there for the chaos that unfolds, Derek has a gun and threatens these three, brief mentions of a stabbing (once) and gunshots (a couple), blood is mentioned as well as the disposal of the aftermath, light mentions of kidnapping (Derek talking about taking Olivia back home), boys talk about entering a dark headspace to handle the situation Derek put them in, the three of them get hit a few times (reader once and Eddie a few times), I think that's it.

If you know the series and my angsty brain you know what to expect!

Happy ending for sure <3

Word Count: 4867

Series here/Donate to Me <3

“Mommy!”, your daughter shouted as she heard the front door open and ran to greet you. 

Before she got two feet, Derek grabbed her bicep keeping her in place and you had to do the same with Steve as he started to charge towards the man at the action. 

“Hey, baby. Are you alright?”

“Uh huh.”, she nods seemingly confused as her eyes fleet between all the adults in the room. 

“Good. Why don’t you go to your room and get your bunny daddy bought you with your pajamas ok?” When your ex’s grip remained steadfast, both men beside you glared his way before he finally let her go. “Go on, Olivia.”

“What are you doing?”, Derek asked when she disappeared down the hall. 

“I don’t know what your plan is but that little girl has nothing to do with it. We have a neighbor who doesn’t mind watching her while everything plays out.”

“’Everything plays out?’ Jesus, you still aren’t fucking listening, Y/N. I just want to talk.”

“Then why did you take her? You could have just knocked on the fucking door.”

“I wanted to get your attention.”

“Well, you got it.”

He chuckles at your tone as his eyes flick to either side of you. 

“Do they not talk anymore?”

“Trust me. You don’t want them to. I had to convince them not to just fucking kill you.”

Derek’s face settles as his irises darken before cocking the gun and stepping forward to place it under your chin. 

“After everything you put me through, you think I wouldn’t just kill all three of you, take her, and leave? You have a high reward on your head but hers? It’s up to $300,000. They’d put her in the system though because your dad disowned you both. Oh, he puts up a good front for the news but… you’re the whore who ran off with murderers.”

“Daddy?” You blink as Derek backs away from you and both her fathers smile her way. “Everyone…mad?”

“No, honey. Noone is mad. You’re just going to go spend the night with Mrs. Redford while we talk to Uncle Derek.”, Steve relays in a soothing tone as he lifts her into his arms. “You got everything?”

When she nods and he heads for the door, you reach out to pet her curls and kiss her forehead. 

“I love you, Olivia.”

“I love you, mommy.”

Eddie does the same before lightly tickling her neck making her smile. 

“We’ll see you tomorrow morning, troublemaker.”

“Where are you going, Steve? She’s 3. I think she can walk herself.”, Derek growled giving the other man pause as he reached for the doorknob. 

“You’re right, she can but if you think I’m letting my three-year-old walk across the street in the snow by herself then you’re insane.”

Your heart broke as her little arms wrapped tightly around his neck at the firm sound of his voice. Olivia knows that tone from Steve even though she’s rarely been on the receiving end. Her father is upset and she’s not sure at what exactly but she knows she’s safe in his arms. 

He doesn’t even wait for permission as he opens the door and begins to walk her to the neighbors. 

Your ex grunts in frustration before pushing you forward so he could watch from the patio but as he does Eddie hits his hand. 

“Don’t fucking touch her.”

It happens quickly. 

As soon as his words leave his mouth, Derek’s arm flies and you gasp as the butt of the gun hits the man you love in the face knocking him to the ground. 

“It seems you guys don’t understand who is in fucking charge here. Just because I won’t hurt Olivia doesn’t mean I won’t kill you.”

You hastily kneel to check on him but the man grabs your arm and roughly pulls you outside.

“Please…don’t do this… just pretend you didn’t see us, Derek, and let us be happy.”

The man snorts as he continues to watch Steve hug his daughter before shaking the neighbor’s hand with a big smile. 

“Still so fucking selfish, Y/N. Always putting yourself before the people around you.”

The other man runs back across the street and your ex pushes you both back inside as he locks the door. 

“I’m ok. I’m fine.”, Eddie grumbles as Steve worriedly tries to check him over but he’s pushed away. 

“Couch please.”

You three do as he commands, placing yourself on the sofa with you in the middle of both boys as Derek sits across from you and crosses his legs. 

“How did you get over the border? Who forged the papers?”

“I did.”, you lie. “It’s not that hard when you know what legally they are checking for.”

Your ex snickers as his eyes scan you over.

“That’s strike one, babe. You lie to me again and you won’t enjoy the outcome.” Derek glares your way for a few seconds before he sighs and rubs his eyes. “When did you change? You weren’t always like…this.”, he inquires as he gestures your way. 

“I know, I’m stronger than I used to be.”

“Hm. Well so is your dad. Because his daughter and grandchild were ‘kidnapped’, he used that to get sympathy and move up the ladder. As of right now, he’s commissioner in our town and a fucking asshole. When you disappeared and I had no one to marry, he refused to help my family, Y/N. My dad lost his job, I got kicked out of school because I couldn’t make tuition and my family lost their house. Right now, they are living out of their suitcases in some fucking hotel.”

When you didn’t respond, he growled in your direction. 

“Sorry. I forgot empathy isn’t your strong suit.”

“You were going to ruin my life to save yourself and your namesake. I’m sorry if I can’t empathize with that.”

“Ruin your life? Was being with me really that fucking bad?! My family treated you like one of their own!”

“Your family treated me like I was beneath them constantly! Add that to the list of things you never fucking noticed.”

Abruptly, he rose to his feet and grabbed your bicep to force you to yours. Both men started to stand to defend you but when he aimed the gun in their direction they froze.

“I noticed… I noticed that you were pulling away. I noticed that you were on the phone more than normal. I noticed the way you would grin when the mail came in. I noticed when you came home smelling like garbage.”, he hissed as he glared their way. “What I didn’t understand was why. Why after so many years you could leave me that easily…”

“It wasn’t easy. Ask them. I told them constantly that I cared about you and needed to try with us! But we kept fighting about everything, Derek. I constantly felt like I wasn’t enough with you.”

“What did I say about lying?”

His palm collided with your cheek so hard your fell to the floor. Eddie rose to his feet to defend you but was punched hard in the mouth. The metalhead bounced back quickly but paused when the gun the man was holding was pointed at Steve whose palm was resting on your bicep from where he was on the couch. 

“It’s ok, baby.”, he soothed softly before addressing Derek. “She did tell us about you. One of her first letters mentioned you and how much she cared about you. It wasn’t until we heard her fucking crying on the phone or saw her broken-hearted face that we started really making any moves.”

“Liar.”

“Pfft, believe what you want. It doesn’t change the fact that she fell for us.”, Eddie seethed as he spit blood on the floor. “And we fell for her. Granted we can’t hide the fact that we wanted to fuck her from day one.”

Derek fully turned to face the metalhead as he continued to mock him with a sadistic smile.

“Oh yeah. We talked all the time about how we were going to fucking ruin her and you want to know the fun part? She wanted it to.” As he whispered his last sentence, your ex ran forward and grabbed Eddie’s collar as the metalhead maniacally laughed. “Fuck, man. You should have seen the way she was when we were calling her a whore and fucking her tied to a mattress. God, Derek, she loves being a bad girl. Was she that way with you?”

He punched Eddie again causing him to laugh harder as he shook his head. 

“I’ll take that as a no. I guess she just needed a real man to fuck her the right way, huh, little boy?”

Derek suddenly howled in pain as you stabbed his leg with the knife you had hidden in your sock from your spot on the floor before Eddie lifted your ex’s arm in the air that was holding the gun. 

As it fired, Steve swiftly jumped into action, tackling him around his neck from behind as both boys wrestled him to the ground. The sound of bones breaking filled the room as Derek’s hand was stepped on and the weapon was slid in your direction that you swiftly picked up and pointed his way. 

“Steve.”, you called as his hands wrapped around the boy’s throat and squeezed. “Steve…”

Both their eyes were dark with something you had never seen from them before. Something you imagine they picked up in prison; that psychotic side that comes with being locked up in a place you don’t belong. Where you are threatened every day and hurt by violent men who have done things you never imagined possible unless you were deranged. 

“Steve.” When he finally let the man go, Derek coughed as he tried to catch his breath. “How did you find us?”

When he didn’t answer, Eddie’s boot pushed on his hand and he screamed in pain. 

“I used a private investigator! The s-same…same guy that helped me…find people for my documentary… We…we assumed you’d come up here…add in that you’re using his mother’s maiden name as your last! I put two and two together! Heh, I’ve been following you around, Y/N, for three days but you didn’t even fucking notice, did you!?”

Steve took the gun from your hand and almost too casually pulled the trigger, firing a bullet into the boy’s other leg. 

“Go ahead. Scream all you want. There’s a huge front coming in so no one’s going to hear. But you knew that didn’t you?”, the former jock calmly relayed before covering the other man’s mouth so he could be heard more clearly. “You just want to be heard my ass. You were going to kill us and take Olivia weren’t you?”

When his lips pouted out, Eddie pushed on his palm again and he relented. 

“YES!”

“And you were just going to kill Y/N?”

His eyes flick to you but Steve’s fingers pinching his jaw force him to look his way again. 

“No. You don’t get to look at her. You don’t even get to speak to her. She’s not yours. She never was.”, he remarks. “The difference between us and you, Derek, is we would literally do anything for her. Funny thing is…none of this would have happened if she had let us kill you the first time we offered…You, her dad, anyone else that got in our way… But every time…she said no. Do you think she’ll say no again, Derek?

Tell her what your plan was. Tell how you were going to kill us and then her. Were you going to offer her to come back home or just get rid of her out right?”

Forcing him to look at you, you saw the truth in his eyes and anger flowed through you. 

“Would you bring her back because you love her or because of the reward? 300K is nice but add in hers… how much is she worth, Derek?”

“One…one hundred grand…”, he whispers. 

“What would you have told our daughter? She’s pretty head strong…I don’t think she would leave without knowing where we were. How would you handle that?”

“Would you hurt her, Derek?”, you whimper through tears and at his nonanswer you step forward to kick his leg where you had stabbed him repeatedly making him cry out before Eddie comes around to collect you in his arms. 

“And we’re the monsters…”, Steve growled as he shook his head. “Did you tell anyone you were coming up here?”

“No.” 

The gun went off again, hitting him in the shoulder and making you jump as the metalhead comforted you. 

“You wouldn’t lie to me now would you, Derek?!”

“NO, FUCKER!”

“Why?”

“He wanted to make a show of it. Be good for his stupid fucking film.”, you hiss through gritted teeth. 

Steve’s eyes raked across you both before rising to his feet and stepping away. Eddie adjusted his body with his back towards your ex and pressed his palm against your cheek till your vision was shielded by his chest.

“Do you want me to do it?”, you heard him ask.

You didn’t jump this time when the gun went off, feeling safe in this man’s arms. 

“No. I got it.”

###################

You remained silent as the three of you quickly got to work. 

Well, you tried to help but neither man would allow it as they wrapped-up Derek’s body and threw it in their car. You stepped forward to go with them to dispose of it but once again a silent palm stopped you as they disappeared out the door. 

Four hours later, they came home to a clean-living room and the sound of the shower running in the bedroom. 

You weren’t startled when the glass door slid open and both men climbed in on either side of you. They weren’t sure if you had just started or had been disassociating the whole time because while the bathroom was fogged up with steam, your arms and cheeks still had traces of blood along your skin. 

The dirt and blood that was attached to theirs began to easily glide of them as the water hit their flesh and you couldn’t help yourself when your fingers reached up to lightly graze Eddie’s nose where Derek hit him. 

His face visibly flinched even as he tried to hide it but still allowed you to move his hair to the side to see where the bruise was beginning to form where the gun barrel hit his forehead.

Cupping his cheeks in your hands, you tilted his head so you could place a light feathery kiss along the wound and his breath hit your chest as he exhaled at the action before falling to his knees to tenderly kissing your stomach. 

Steve’s own lips gently trailed along your shoulder to your neck as he utilized the washcloth to clean your arms and hands. 

A low moan left you when you felt the metalhead’s tongue lick a line through your folds till his mouth wrapped around your clit. The other boy continued to clean you, lightly tilting your head back so he could get your face before passionately kissing your lips. 

You winced slightly and his eyes clouded over with anger at the light purple along your cheek bone where Derek had smacked you. 

Both men were still in that dark headspace, you could see it in their irises. 

You wondered how to get them back to you as the coil in your belly began to wind. Not because you were afraid but because you wanted them to be happy.

They deserved to be happy. 

Steve’s arms wrapped securely around you as you pressed your back into his chest, whimpering as pleasure washed over you and you came. Even as you trembled, Eddie’s tongue didn’t stop its assault as you rode out your high. 

Your palm limply pulled at his bicep and as he rose to his feet you sunk to your knees taking both their cocks in your hands. The pretty boy rushed forward to capture his lips with his own, groaning against the other as your own mouth enveloped the man in front you while you pumped the one beside you. 

Once Steve had Eddie free of dirt and grime, the metalhead took over and cleaned the man he loved. Steve’s fingers threaded through your hair as you switched and bobbed your head, taking his length as far back as you could before doing the same with Eddie. 

The sound of their kisses and light touches continued above you till you heard the sound of one of them turning off the faucet. 

Eddie lifted you from the porcelain and threw you over his shoulder as he carried you to the bed without even bothering to dry you or himself. After tossing you onto your back, he opened your legs, lifting one over his shoulder and guiding himself into your entrance. 

The man set a brutal pace as he leaned over you, pressing your knee to your chest. 

“F-Fuck, Sir. Right…Right there.”

Eddie grunted in response as his head hung and he thrust his hips. Steve appeared above you and your back arched when his palms kneaded your breast and his thumbs lightly ran along your erect nipples. 

Keeping his own hands pressed against your thighs, Eddie leaned back on to his knees and the other boy crawled over to spit on your clit making him groan loudly as he pulled out abruptly to rub the tip of his cock along the man’s saliva. 

Craning your neck, you watched as Eddie beckoned him with his finger and pushed his head against your nub as he pushed himself back inside you. 

Your eyes rolled as hand blindly reached out to run your nails down Steve’s back. 

Screaming louder than you had in a long while, you came hard around him causing Eddie to grip your hips and pound his length roughly inside of you till you felt his release paint your walls. 

They changed places so fast your pussy was still quivering when Steve guided his dick into your hole. 

“Goddamn it.”

Lifting both legs over his shoulders, he clung to your thighs as he aggressively thrust into you. 

“Fuck—Daddy…”

The bed underneath you began to shake while you clung to his biceps and his head hung. Neither of them were looking at you and it was killing you. As your fingers reached for his chin, he promptly pinned your wrist to the mattress below but when you tried with your other, he slapped it away and circled his fingers around your throat. 

Steve didn’t even realize where his palm was until he heard you and Eddie passionately kissing as your tongues danced together. Releasing you, he utilized his thumb to play with your overstimulated nub between your legs and you panted his title against the other boy’s lips as you came. 

He soon followed, opening your limbs wide as he watched himself pump his cum deep inside you. 

Heavy pants filled the room as the three of you tried to catch your breath. 

Blinking, he pulled away from you and rose to his feet.

“Why does this feel like that first night after you fucked me?” Your voice caused Steve to pause as he turned to face you now sitting up to fully face them. “Why do I feel like you’re about to leave me?”

“We’re not leaving you—”

“But you’re going somewhere?”, you interrupt with distain. 

“We think it’s best if we stay in a hotel for a couple of days.”

“Why?”, you hiss. “Give me one good goddamn reason why you would leave me and Olivia after what just happened.”

“We’re leaving FOR you and Olivia.”

“Oh, bullshit, Eddie. If that’s what you’re telling yourself so you feel better about this then fuck you.” Rising off the bed, you stomp towards the closet, pulling down a suitcase and tossing it on the bed. “Go ahead. Leave. Go do everything by yourselves again without trusting me.”

“That’s not what this is, Y/N.”, Steve growled. 

Ignoring him, you absently pulled one of their shirts over your head and randomly grabbed others to throw into the luggage. He grabbed your wrist to stop you but you promptly turned around and shoved his chest. 

“Don’t fucking touch me! I’m tired of this! Why are you running and leaving me alone again, huh!? Why?! Why are you leaving me again when I need you!!”, you screamed as you kept shoving him, your voice cracking at the hoarseness. “I thought you fucking trusted me now!”

“We do! We don’t trust ourselves!!”, he shouted, gripping your forearms and chuckling under his breath as he pushed you lightly on to the bed. “You think you understand everything, little girl, but you don’t. We may have been innocent when we went in but we aren’t anymore. I just killed someone, honey, and I don’t fucking care. I don’t.”

“You think I don’t know that? Remember, like you said, you offered to kill him in past. What? Were you just fucking with me to make me feel better?”

“No, Y/N, we weren’t.”, Eddie murmured as he continued to glare towards the floor. “But this is the first we actually allowed that headspace to take over…to become the monster’s they think we are… We want to go away for a couple of days to fully get back out of it.”

“Why can’t you do that here? I’m not afraid of you. I’ve never been afraid of you.”

“We don’t want to hurt you…”

“Or Olivia.”

“Oh my god.”, you breathe as you sarcastically laugh and stand up as you try to control your tears. “If I thought for one second, you were capable of that I would have left you a long time ago. You would never hurt our daughter or me…physically anyway. Because this…”, you gesture absently around you. “…fucking hurts. I knew…you’d protect us. What you did out there…that was you protecting us… You’re not him.”

As you start to sob, you hear bare feet scoot across the carpet before you’re encased in arms and lifted back on to the bed. Your arms cling to Steve as you push your face into his chest while Eddie’s fingers brush your hair away from your face and you hear a loud bang as he kicks the suitcase to the floor. 

“You really weren’t afraid of us?”, he whispers almost cautiously as if he’s afraid of the answer. 

“No.”

“I kept picturing him hurting you or Olivia and I just—” Your lips on Steve’s cut him off before gently trailing down his chin to his collarbone. “I’m sorry, honey. I’m sorry you had to experience all this.”

After licking your palm, you reach behind you and Eddie moans in your ear as you stroke his cock. 

“I’m sorry he had to throw a wrench into everything. You both deserve to be happy.”

“So do you, sweetheart.” While he spoke, Eddie lifted your leg over the other man’s hip who held on to your thigh as he lifted it up further. “You’re not sore or anything right? We weren’t too rough?”

“No, you weren’t, baby.” Reaching over you, Steve held your ass open as the other man guided himself inside you once more. “Fuck, Eddie.”

Collecting some of your slick and remnants of their cum, the pretty boy easily slid his length into your pussy again as he licked his lips at the feeling. 

“Say my name, Y/N. M-Moan my name like you did with him.”

“Steve.”

“Yeeeeees, baby.”, he grunted as they both set a much slower pace than they had used before. 

Taking Eddie’s hand in yours, you held it to your chest, pulling him closer to you as he kissed the nape of your neck. 

“I love you…so much—shit—Thank you for…protecting us.”

Steve’s arm extends out to rest on Eddie’s lower back and the other boy responds by doing the same. 

“We love you to…fuck, m’not gonna last long.”, the metalhead whines as they rolled their hips and you practically felt their cocks grinding against each other inside you.

“Please, Eddie…Steve…make me cum again.”

Lost in you and themselves, they firmly pounded into you in tandem till you felt yourself shutter between them as your climax hit you hard. It was more than they could take and Steve finished first as he released his seed into your cunt for the second time that night. Eddie soon followed, digging his nails into the boy’s skin as he came in your behind. 

***

When they woke up and you weren’t between them, both men panicked as they threw on their boxers and ran into the living room. When they saw you were safe out back, they put on some pajama pants and jackets to see what you were up to. 

Placed in front of the grill, you had a small fire going but it wasn’t until they looked down that they noticed you were burning Derek’s ID’s and passport. 

“I went through his bag and it seems like he didn’t stay in a hotel. Just pretty much came straight here. He brought one change of clothes, his camera, and his notebook. I went through the footage and he mentions something like how he ‘spoke to people in town’ and they told him about a little girl about Olivia’s age at an ‘orphanage’. He, um, he implied that we most likely ‘couldn’t handle being on the run with a baby’ and left her behind.”, you sigh as your eyes meet theirs. “He WAS going to kill us and take her.”

Eddie pulled you into his arms and kissed your forehead as Steve pet your hair. 

“I also went through the notebook and he made little notes from the PI. I guess they found out where we sold the stolen car and assumed we rode a bus to one of the cities around here. He went searching by himself from there so I don’t think anyone knows he came up here.”

“Hunch strong enough to stay or should we move to another city?”

“That’s up to you. I believe we’re safe but if we really need to go then it’s what we need to do. How’s your head?”, you ask as your cold hands touch his cut that was now bandaged. 

“It’s alright. Little fucker didn’t hit me too hard.” Eddie smiles when you grin up at him. “Y/N, sweetheart, we’re sorry about last night. You know we never want to hurt or leave you.”

“I know.”, you reply sullenly as your gaze shifts towards the fire. “I know. I forgive you.”

Steve’s fingers reach for your chin and turn you to meet his eyes. 

“Y/N, we’ve been through so much and prison changes you whether you’re innocent or not. I think…sometimes we need to be reminded that we aren’t bad people.”

Pushing up on your tip toes, you kiss his lips before turning to do the same with Eddie.

“You’re not bad people. Like I said, I wouldn’t be here with you if you were.”

##############

You smile wide as Steve playfully whips out his sunglasses like James Bond and puts them on as he continues to drive. 

“Dada, where are we going?”

“Anywhere you want, baby.”, he answers as his eyes flick to the rearview mirror to meet her gaze. “We were thinking we could go on an adventure and find a new home.”

“W-Why can’t we stay at our home?”

“Remember, sweetheart, how I told you that daddy and dada had some adventures of their own before you were born?” Eddie waits for her to nod as he places his arm behind her seat. “Well Uncle Derek…isn’t really your uncle. He’s a spy for the evil king who runs the land we hail from.”

Olivia’s eyes widen as she glances your way and you nod with an equally wide expression. 

“Me, mommy, and dada sent him back to his kingdom and gave him a warning that should he ever come looking again we shall fight to the death!”, he declares in a deep voice that makes her giggle. “But we still need to make sure our princess is safe so we’re moving to a new castle.”

She nods seemingly in understanding as Eddie winks in your direction. 

“So, where do you want to go, honey?”

“I don know. Where do you wanna go, mommy?”

“Hm. What about Greenland? Right here?” Lifting up the roadmap, you show her with your finger. “Maybe we can find a house by the bay here. Listen to the water every night.”

“I like it! Dada, we go to Green-Land!”

“You got it, princess Olivia.”, Steve beams as he reaches over to hold your hand. 

Eddie’s arm circles around your seat as he leans over to kiss your cheek. 

“Is that ok?”, you ask them quietly as you rub the man’s arm with you free pam. 

“Yeah, baby. It’s perfect. We’d go anywhere as long as we’re with you. We may be free from prison but you’re stuck with us for life, sweetheart.”

##############

@lemme-slytherin-that-dick @micheledawn1975 @paleidiot @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @noooah @baileebear @dashingdeb16 @nailbatanddungeon @rockmusiciscalming12 @mikeyswifie @poofyloofy @eddiexmunsonlover @dreamliners @munsonmoonshine86 @bexreadstoomuch @kitkat80 @myherometalhead @hardladyheart @sheisjoeschateau @chelebelletx @yesimabratandwhataboutot @cherryxhaze @utterlyinsanity @peachy-bunnns

[fashionteahouse]

Totally random but could you write like an alternate ending one shot with Edward and y/n from the the story please lowkey wanna see that play out

ooo sure okay 💜 hope you enjoy :)

out of your league - paul edward x reader (alternate version)

AN: for the paul lovers, all i have to say is, i’m sorry 😭 ! don’t read if you are a paul lover !

read out of your league part 21 for context :)

The solemn was great but you were sure that your decision was the right one. Your mind was like a tornado by the way thoughts kept coming through.

At the jet landing, Larry and his girlfriend gave you a quick but tight hug before getting into their own car that had someone holding the car door open for them.

A car was waiting for you as well, with Edward holding the door open. You get in the passenger seat and Edward swiftly puts your luggage in the trunk, making sure to keep his quickness at a human level.

The trip was silent but the sound that beat around the car from the busy city life was heard. Reality had set in. You made your choice. Your choice to stay.

The traffic was bad, your eyes were glued to the window. The sky was starting to darken even more than it was, cold rain started to patter softly. A flick of the windshield wipers was heard.

“How was LA?” he asks you softly, dying to make conversation as he noticed your reserved presence but, you jumped at the voice snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Huh?” you ask him in a small voice.

“How was LA?” he asks again.

“Horrible.” you say, not changing the volume as you speak in a small voice.

“Really?” he asks in slight astonishment. You huff out a small sigh as you watch the rain roll down your window, it looked really close to tears. You just silently nod.

After some time, he looks over to you, “Do you want to listen to some music?”

“If you want to, you can turn some on. I’m not stopping you.” you say in a whisper.

It was low like a hum, the music starts to play from his stereo. The classical song that you told him you liked. You give a slight incredulous look, “Really?” you ask.

His lip lifts up into a smile only just a little, as he looked to you. In a way, it did soothe you a bit. It helped clear the thoughts in your mind. Your sadness started to slowly turn into a tad of anger.

If Paul was going to make an ultimatum like that, you thought, “Fuck it.”

It simply wasn’t fair. If the shoe was on the other foot, you wouldn’t make him choose like that.

“Are you hungry?” he asks and you notice that the song had ended, what’s now playing is something he seemed to enjoy as you didn’t know the song.

You shrug.

“Y/N, we can’t start this again.” he says softly.

“At least let me…get settled in first. I just want to decompress for a second.” you say. He complies.

The route to your apartment was in your eyes as you looked through the windshield at the street. You get out and your luggage is already in his hand as you move inside of the building.

“I will be quick.” you tell him and he nods as he walks to the sofa that he knew for sure that Alice had picked out.

You sit alone in your bedroom on your bed with your jacket still on. You checked your phone. It was evening now. No calls, no texts, just nothing. You toss it to the side on the soft surface and look to the floor for a moment with a frown with slump shoulders.

Your eyesight begins to blur as tears splat on your lap. You don’t make any noise but a deep breath as your face feels hot. This was something that you wanted so badly.

A soft knock makes you collect the tears from your eyes with a soft sniff.

“Yeah?” you call out after clearing your throat.

“Everything alright?” you hear through the door and you’re already up and walking towards it. You open it and Edward’s face is painted with slight worry.

“Yes….Let’s go.” you say to him as you now have yourself together.

You stared at the bubbles that floated about in your untouched drink. You forgot what you ordered.

“You’re upset…Why?” he rings out softly.

“I made a sacrifice.” you say lowly.

He stared at you even though your eyes were glued to the cup in front of you.

“Do you want to talk about what it was?” he asks.

You don’t say anything at first, but the words were at the tip of your tongue. You raise your eyes to his intense but amber eyes as you began to speak. You had his attention.

“Being here. Coming back here means I lose….him.” you say and you look down. He watched you.

The waiter comes before he could speak, he sets your plate down and you give him a quiet thank you after he says that the plate is hot.

“I’m sure you didn’t lose him.” he says to you as he slightly shakes his head.

“I did.” you say with such finality. You then take your eyes off of him before unwrapping the silverware. You stab your fork into your plate and you eat in silence without looking back up at him.

That night, you called and called Paul. There was no answer. No text back. Acceptance seeped into your body.

The next morning, Alice made you get out of bed. She wouldn’t stop calling to the point that it was your alarm. After getting dressed from your shower, you pull on your jacket and feel in your pockets. The sharp edge of the thin paper poked your fingers and you pull it out. You stared at the amount of 0’s that would change your life. This solidified that you are able to now be the artist without the starving part.

Alice sat with you in the office of a financial adviser at the private bank. You were quiet and let her do most of the talking.

“Do you want to draw later?” she asked softly when they had to answer a quick phone call. You look to her and she looked hopeful. She did nothing wrong and sketching usually made you pour out feelings that were deep within. You nod. She smiles excitedly.

“Okay and you’re good to go.” The fiduciary financial adviser says with a smile and you and Alice rise up.

“He didn’t answer at all?” she asks in disbelief. You told her that you haven’t spoken to Paul.

“No.” you say looking down at the sidewalk with your hands stuffed in your jacket pocket.

“Don’t jump to conclusions just yet. Maybe he’s in his wolf form and can’t answer.”

You sighed, “Alice, it’s the afternoon. He would’ve called me by now if not sooner…..” you say in defeat as you both walked.

Alice bells out a happy hello to her brother who is at his piano. The face on his was shocked that you had came in through the door right behind her. He gets up and walks over to you both.

“Where’s Jasper?” you ask to no one in particular.

“He went to visit Emmett.” Edward replies.

“You didn’t go?” you ask him as you took off your jacket. Edward almost immediately reaches out and you place it in his outreaching arms. He shakes his head.

“Come on!” she says excitedly.

She takes your hand and Edward watched as you disappeared with his sister.

The mannequin this time had nothing on it. A soft grin forms on your lips. You turn to Alice who is setting down plain white sheets on the large workspace.

“You didn’t make anything?” you ask surprised.

She just gracefully twirls as you stare at what she has on.

“Wow.” you just say and she just smiles.

As the sounds of pencils started to scratch into the room, she asks you, “So..Have an idea on what you would want to do for your birthday?”

You shrug, “Probably just treat myself out..Or something.” you say with uncertainty. That’s when her face stretched into a bright smile.

“What?” you ask her with a knowing grin.

“Nothing.” she says as she starts to color in the design she’s making.

“Yeah, right.” you say shaking your head with a chuckle and go back to finishing your own work. You didn’t care too much about drawing the clothes in a technical manner.

“So..What did you and Edward do for the two days I was gone?” you ask.

“We just did what we normally do. It was a bit boring to be honest.” she says.

“Really? I mean…You can guys can basically do anything.” you point out. This makes her laugh a little.

“But, I didn’t have anyone to do this with.” she says.

“Mm.” you say with a nod as you finish up with what’s on your paper.

It seemed as soon as you both got done, Edward appeared in the doorway.

“Look at what we made.” Alice says to him and waves him over. He enters and his eyes flicker to yours first. You put a hand over it. Alice nudges your hand, “Y/N.”

“It’s not as good as yours.” you say with a slight frown.

“Who cares.” she says with a smile. You let your hand up and Edward is now beside you.

“It’s good Y/N.” he says to you as he inspects it. You thank him even though you don’t fully believe him.

“Alright, you two. I have to hunt and by the time I get back, Jasper will be here.” she says to you both and you follow her out of the room.

“You’re not going?” you ask Edward after Alice had made her departure.

“I went when you and Alice were away.” he says. You nod. You cross your arms and your eyes go to his abandoned piano.

“What were you playing?” you ask. He doesn’t say anything immediately as he walks to the bench but doesn’t sit down.

“How about I teach you instead.” he says with a warm smile. You put your head slightly up and he chuckled at this.

“Come on, it’s easy.” he says as he gestures for you to come.

You flop down and stare at the keys. They were like a foreign language.

“I’m not going off of anything you say is easy.” you say as you turn your head to look up at him. He stared down with liquid gold eyes with amusement.

“A child can learn what I’m about to teach you.” he says as you turn back around as he stepped closer behind you.

“Place your fingers here.” he says and demonstrates with his own as he leaned his arms over your shoulder. You follow and you hold back your flinch from his fingers brushing briefly against yours. You sit up straighter with square shoulders.

His fingers press yours down and have you repeat the first sequence. You do so before he teaches you the next sequence and you do that before you start from the top.

“See?” he says as you play on your own. You never thought you would be able to play a song on the piano but, to be fair, it was easy. The notes weren’t complicated and the melody was simple.

After you play with ease, he suggest another set of notes to make it sound a bit better.

As you play around with it, you couldn’t help but softly ahh out at the fact that you were getting the hang of the instrument. He slowly reached back over and adds onto the melody that you were already playing. You both were now playing the piano together.

He retracted his arms and it makes you stop. You turn around and the prolonged eye contact that he gives you makes you nervous. You look down. He senses this and holds out his hand. You stare at it for a moment before taking it.

You shivered slightly as he held onto your hand and leads you to a room. His hand felt like a stone that you had picked up in cold weather.

Your body froze as you stared at the piece he had bought from you. It was nicely placed and it seemed to go really well with the room. You let your eyes travel about.

“This is your room?” you ask quietly and look to him. He nods. You hum a response.

“I can’t believe you bought it.” you say with a sly grin as you continued to look at. You had to admit, you were glad that your hard work didn’t go to waste.

“I just couldn’t resist.” he says. The room seemed like something was missing. You look around with furrowed eyebrows and he watched you.

He watched your face return back to neutral. He wanted to know what was on your mind as you were clearly thinking hard.

“What is it?” he asks.

“Oh..Nothing..” you say with a soft chuckle. It seemed embarrassing.

He brings out an encouraging grin, even subtly swinging the hand that was still attached to his, “Tell me.” You felt his thumb brush against the back of your hand. You look down and back up at him and his gaze back at you with a fond look.

“You don’t have a bed.” you say and he chuckles out and you continue, “But I forgot. You don’t sleep.” you say with a soft smile that came on your face without permission.

“You’re right.” he says to you.

“So like…Do you miss it?” you ask. You genuinely wanted to know. He leads you to a large plush chair that was in his room. He sits down and your hand is still attached to his as you look down at him. He tugs it slightly and you hesitate as you look at his lap.

You decide to sit on the arm of the chair, letting your legs and sock covered feet rest between his leg. You two are now close. You focus on breathing as you realize he never let go of your hand.

“I do now.” he tells you. You look at him in astonishment. You didn’t expect that answer.

“You do? I would figure that’s the part that didn’t really matter.” you say.

“Well.. I didn’t care too much for it..But…” he says but trails off. Silence fell in your ears and you look away from your piece that you were glancing at and look at his face.

“But what?”

“I wish I could dream.” he reveals in a voice that’s dripping in velvet.

“Hm…Fair…What would you dream about?” you asked him.

He then looks down a bit and you match his lax grin.

“Don’t leave me on a cliffhanger.” you say humorously.

“I don’t want to scare you away. That’s all.” he tells you softly.

“A little too late for that. I’m literally hanging with Dracula right now.”

He laughs out, even tilting his head back and you can see the glisten of his white teeth from the light.

“What do you dream about?” he asks. You shake your head and sigh a little, “Don’t change the subject.”

“If you tell me, I’ll tell you.” he says. You roll your eyes a bit, “You’re so unfair.”

“An eye for an eye.” he says with a grin.

You huff out a bit before you just shrug, “Random stuff really. I go on adventures in my dreams. If I were to make a movie about my dreams it would be a mind trip.”

He unclasps his hand from yours before reattaching it. You watch this.

“Come on.” you trail out encouragingly but softly as you see that he’s hesitating still. He swallows just a bit before speaking out, “This. Us. The things that we do.”

Your breath hitched. For some reason, you didn’t expect that to be his answer. You blink at him to see if he would joke or saying, “Just kidding.” but he doesn’t. He just waits for your reaction with his intense eyes.

“Wasn’t expecting that.” you replied with pursed lips as you were in thought. You get up, making sure to not let yourself stumble and wiggle your hand free from his.

You walk to a record collection of his and choose to look at that with your hands on your hips.

“I scared you away.” he states as he speaks over your shoulder.

You bark out a laugh, “That didn’t scare me.”

He picks up a record and you watch him as he shows it to you. He slides it out and placed it in the record player. You continue to watch him.

He turns back around to face you once the needle hits the track and the record spins. The melodic rhythm fills the room. He’s standing close in front of you and reaches down slowly to grab your hand again. This time you’re not shocked by the difference of the body temperature.

What you’re shocked about is the fact that he pulls you fluidly to him, he carefully placed your hands on his shoulders and he placed his on your waist. Feet started to move and you follow his. No words were said as the slow song played. It reminded you of a vintage romance movie. So much, that you swallowed from nervousness.

You see a mirror and you catch the reflection. It looked like a romantic painting. You didn’t know how to feel about that, as you didn’t know if you were overreacting.

You lightly huff out a tiny laugh and look down.

“What?” he asks as a small grin danced on his lips. You shake your head a bit, “I never thought I would…I don’t know…Slow dancing?”

“You haven’t done this with anyone else before?” he asks and you catch the slight surprise. You shake your head. Before you knew it, he lifts you a small twirl happens as you clutch onto him. You laugh a bit. He sets you back down on your feet with a warm smile, his finger slightly brushed the exposed skin from your shirt lifting a bit. Goosebumps appear and he takes one of your hands and hold it. He lifted you up as easily as one could lift a doll, placing you on your tippy toes on top of his feet.

He looks down at you and you look up at him. He looks content. As if he could look at you all day. Thoughts are empty as you watch him lean closer and closer slowly. You were almost to his height this way, so he didn’t have to move too far. He placed a kiss on your cheek. You jerk from surprise but luckily he holds you up in a firm hold.

“I’m sorry.” he whispers out, his eyebrows are knitted together.

“I…” you just say but you couldn’t think of anything to say. You were ashamed that a spark was felt on your cheek. You felt guilty.

He sets your feet to the floor and steps back. An apologetic look is on his face.

“I’m gonna use the restroom.” you quietly say with your head down.

In the mirror, the reflection reached and the fingertips touched the touched cheek. You let your eyes fall with your hand.

You reach into your back pocket and pull out your phone. There was nothing. Still no texts, no calls, or even an attempt to reach out. You shove it back into your pocket.

You walk out and you catch Edward brooding in his chair. His eyes lift up to you standing in his room. Your hands rest on your arms as you watch him.

“I’m sorry.” he says again and looked like he wanted to kick himself.

You shrug, “It wasn’t on the lips.” He doesn’t say anything but doesn’t take his eyes away from yours.

You sit back onto the arm of the chair, just like how you previously were.

You place both arms on your knees as you both stare at each other. You watch as he graced his fingers on your hand.

“You don’t know how good it feels to do this without my throat severely burning.” he says softly. You nod in understanding.

“I have to confess something.” he then says.

You take his hand fully. Hoping it was enough for him to spit it out. It was.

“I did have a breakup with Bella…”

You snort, “Why did you lie?”

“I felt foolish…That meant that I had to come to terms that I agreed to a relationship with the greatest prey a predator could ever come across. Her blood sang to me.” he says.

“What does that mean?” you ask.

“Her blood was like a siren to vampires. It smelled sweeter than most. More mouthwatering than most.” he says and sucks in a breath he didn’t have to take, “I couldn’t be with someone like that….It’s not like that with you.”

“My blood sucks.” you joke quietly. Edward forms a slight grin.

“I don’t even think of your blood. I just think of you and what you do.”

“Yeah, right. You’re only just saying that because I’m immune to your power.”

“Not completely immune. I can see the colors that try to merge with each other. I love your mind….With Bella I just read nothing. Pure nothing.” he reveals.

“Answer me this.” you say and he says to you, “Anything.”

“What did Alice see? Remember I asked you what else did she see? I know you lied, Edward.” you say.

“This will scare you away definitely.” he says with a nervous smile.

You throw your arms slightly up to gesture to your surroundings. You give him a humorous look.

“A kiss on the cheek scared you.” he teases. You then playfully nudge his chest.

“Stop being chicken.” you say as you wait for him to continue.

“She saw….Y/N can we please talk about something else?”

“Noooooo.” you say.

He huffs a bit but you patiently wait.

“She saw our future together. That’s all I will say.” he says and rises up. You follow him.

“Was it good or bad?” you ask him.

“Neither.” he answers and you both are back in the living room, “It was great.”

“W…What about…” you start but shake your head and sit on the large sofa.

“What about what?”

“Paul. Does that mean I broke up….With him?” you ask.

“With the way we were acting, I hope so.” he says with a bit of hesitance as he sits next to you.

“We….were doing something dirty?!” you ask nervously.

He chuckled, “Get your mind out of the gutter.” he taps your temple a bit in a playful way, You roll your eyes a bit.

Alice comes in right in tow with Jasper. Jasper smiles and says hello to you. You greet him back.

“Congratulations, Y/N. Your piece really was amazing.” he says to you. You smile and thank him.

Alice tugs his arm, tugging him away with a smile you knew all too well. Edward rises and you look up at him.

“They’re about to go at it.” he says with a slight grimace and jerks his head to the front door. This actually made you chuckle.

You get up quickly and he hands you your jacket. You both agree on walking.

Side by side, the pace match each other’s.

“I didn’t know how much I was impacted by your presence until you were only gone for two days.” he told you.

“What do you mean?”

“I thought I was going mad…Who told you to wrap me around your finger?” he says as the arm of his jacket brushed against yours. You didn’t mind. You weren’t focused on that, you were focused on with what he was saying.

“You’re annoying.” you say with a soft smile.

“I’m serious.” he says to you, displaying his own smile.

“Was I…Happy? In the vision.” you wonder.

“I’m guessing so. Do you smile when you’re not happy?”

You shake your head.

You both look at books. You both talk about what you both find is interesting. He takes you to get something to eat.

He steadily holds the spoon as you lean forward and capture it in your mouth.

“Is it possible for someone like you to overeat?” you wonder after you sit back in your seat. You didn’t want to say it out too loud in public.

“Yeah. It’s like a weird liquidy feeling inside.” he says with a crooked grin.

You raise your hand to get the spoon back. He didn’t want to give it back.

“I can feed myself.” you say with a grin.

“I..Like this.” he says with a content grin and waits for your reaction. When you don’t give him one, he scoops a bit of your food onto the utensil again and holds it out for you to take a bite. You only have to lean forward just slightly since you both were already in close proximity.

“What did you do while I was away?” you ask.

“The usual.” he shrugs. He continued to stare for a moment before saying, “It definitely felt like something….Or someone was missing.”

“You’re saying that to make me feel important.” you say with a grin.

His face is serious, “I’m serious.” he says. The spoon softly clatters back onto your dish. He takes your hands that are resting close to him on the table. Both thumbs scrape against the back on your hands. The butterflies that came scared you.

You retract your hands and look down.

“What is it?” he asked feeling confused. You don’t say anything but the waitress comes back over with a smile asking how the everything was, you let Edward answer as you take small bites of the rest of your food.

“Everything is fine. We can get the check.” he says to her but he doesn’t look at her. He just watched you.

She leaves and he calls your name, even going as far as covering the hand that’s still on the table.

“We have to stay friends. Nothing more.” you say with a shaky voice.

“So we’re friends. I thought you hated me.” he teases and as much as you didn’t want to, you laugh a little at his statement.

“I hate no one.” you say.

“If we’re friends, does that mean I can still see you?” he asks you.

You push your empty plate away from you slightly and just give him a glance. You lift a shoulder up slightly as you felt nervous.

“Am I that boring?” he asks plainly. You lean forward a bit, “No.” you say with a chuckle.

“I want to be honest. I know I lied to you about Bella and I’m sorry. You’ll get nothing but the truth from me.” he says.

“It’s okay. At least you told me before I found out in a different way. I want to be honest too. I don’t know where I am with Paul and I don’t want to complicate things.” you admit.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Go ahead.”

“Do you enjoy the time that we do spend together?” He asks as he holds your eyes in his.

You held it in. You didn’t admit nor deny. You both stared intensely at each other. The waitress then comes and gives Edward the bill back.

“Ride or walk?” he asks you.

You shrug as you look at him.

You ended up going home. The ride home had a tense cloud but it was expected. You call Paul again and again. You call one more time and he picks up the phone.

“Yes, Y/N.” The voice is annoyed.

“Hey.” you say into the line.

“What do you want.” he said flatly. It had no energy. You knew that you were the cause of that.

“I just wanted to check up on you.” you say in a small voice.

“I’m fine.” he just says and you wait to see if he would speak again. He doesn’t.

You finally say something, “I know you’re mad at me.”

“I’m not doing this over the phone.” he says impatiently.

“What you’re doing is being an ass right now. I just want to talk.” you say feeling frustrated.

“Talk? Talk for what? You’re going to always do your own thing anyway.” he says.

“You’re so cold and for what?” you ask him in disbelief as a pang hits your chest.

“Now, I’m cold.” he says sarcastically and huffs out a laugh, “I can’t do this.”

You stand up and grit out, “Can’t do what?” Your anger rise. You refused to believe that he was serious. “Can’t do what?!” you ask louder.

“What’s the point in trying to be with someone who always goes against you? Who doesn’t love you back? Who doesn’t seem to care about the connection that’s shared? I’ve tried Y/N. I’m tired Y/N. You want to talk about cold, it’s you. You know and I both know that you’re not even coming back.” he spits out.

“Unfair. You don’t love me. You don’t talk to someone you love like that, threatening breakup-“

“Save the bullshit. I did! I wouldn’t say shit like that to someone I don’t love. You don’t love me. It’s all one sided. You’re so fucking blind to see it. Wake up!”

“Did? So, the times that I went against everyone just to be with you, didn’t matter huh?”

“You know what I mean and you wouldn’t have to give a fuck about everyone if you knew what you wanted in the first place. One minute, you make it seem like I’m your priority and the next, you make it seem like I’m not. You don’t even know what you want.”

“I do. I do.” you say as the silent tears fall onto the wooden floor.

“You don’t.”

“I know what I want. I want someone who’s not going to control me. It’s like you’re ruining this for me on purpose. It’s always your way or ‘we’re done’ well guess what? Let me give you your way. I’m tired of you always threatening me. If you want us to be done, fine. We’re done.” you choke out and press the end call. You throw your phone down on the ground in an angry grunt.

The phone vibrates and you pick it up. You slide your finger on to the screen and he immediately starts talking, “First of all, no one is controlling you and second, just remember that it’s you who wants to end things shitty. Then, you’re gonna fucking hang up on me? Talking about how we’re done?”

“Oh, now you care!” you say as you pace, “I haven’t even heard from you! You can’t do this remember!” you say angrily in the phone, taking it away from your ear to speak directly into the speaker.

“I’m not fucking doing this. This is toxic. I fucking can’t.” he says.

“You’re toxic. You’re cancer. I cared about you and you didn’t care back unless you need your dick wet. That’s the reason why you want me home. This imprint is just an excuse for you and your wolf to dominate me.” you hiss out.

“Look at how you’re fucking talking…Cared?…..” he grits out.

“I’m not being stuck in La Push just to make you happy. You know what? Just because you can’t leave doesn’t mean you get to take it out on me! Us living together isn’t working. I don’t even want to come back….To your house. I want a boyfriend not a father!”

He hears your angry breathing as you pace.

“My house….You’re talking crazy. I bet you don’t have an answer on when you’re coming home. You’re doing this shit on purpose. You know that Larry said you can come home but you’re going off of some psychic leech who doesn’t give a fuck about you except for your blood.” After a beat, he speaks again, “You cashed that leech’s money, didn’t you?” he says menacingly. You didn’t recognize this person on the phone. He didn’t recognize the person on his line.

You not saying anything told him the answer.

“Bye, Y/N.” he says.

Click.

You stare at the screen. It cracked. You groan and throw it down again. But, harder. You slowly say on the bed, staring at the wall, your adrenalin comes down. Reality sets in. You realized your fuck up. Your face crumbled.

Face down, you angrily cry into your mattress. Your body and your shoulders shake. You never been this mad before. You cry about the cruel things that you said. You couldn’t take them back. You think about the cruel things that he said. He couldn’t take them back.

He told you he loved you, but you felt that there was no way he could never love you after tonight.

With a pounding headache, the morning light flashed you. Your phone didn’t work anymore. The screen was discolored and cracked, you couldn’t see anything on it. You just cried. You slept when you felt sad. You couldn’t explain the heaviness that you felt.

A knock scared you, making you jerk out of your sleep. You ignored it. They kept knocking.

Swinging the door open, you don’t say anything but stare at the person in front of you. They saw that you had on the same clothes from yesterday but they were wrinkled on your body.

They step closer and you step back and close the door. Their foot wouldn’t let you.

“I’m worried.”

“Don’t be.” you hiss out.

“Me and Alice tried calling you.” Edward says.

“My phone is broken.”

“Just please tell me what’s wrong. I won’t say anything and will let you talk.”

“I. don’t. want. to. talk.”

“Can I at least get your phone fixed?”

“I don’t want it anymore.” you say and leave the door and go to grab it from your bedroom floor from where you discarded it.

You walk back to his body and put it in his hand roughly.

“Keep it.” you say.

“You said we can be friends. Why won’t you let me help you as a friend?” he asks you as he peered down at you.

“There’s nothing you can do.” you say in defeat and looked down. He slides the no good phone into his pocket.

He places two hands on your shoulders and pull you to him. You frown a bit until your head is now on his chest. He just holds you to him without saying anything.

“How did this happen?” the worker asks you. You take in a small breath as you start to feel embarrassed, Edward places a hand on your back.

“I threw it down. I was angry.” you just say.

“The screen is absolutely no good. It needs a replacement.” the worker says as they inspect it some more.

“No need to fix it. I’ll just get a new one.” you mutter. You then follow them to pick it out. He gives you your old sim card and gives you the bag that contained your new device. Before you could pull your card fully out of your wallet, Edward’s chip is already stuck in the machine.

You both are in no rush. He carried your box after discarding the bag.

“You’ve done enough.” you say as you face him before going inside of your own place.

He placed a hand on your arm and it halts you. He searched your face for a moment.

“What really happened? Why were you upset?” he asks you softly.

You look up at the sky.

“I ruined everything.” you say flatly.

“Do you want to talk about it? I do have forever.” he says, trying his best to bring humor into it.

“No.” you say as you then look down. “I need to be by myself.”

You walk away.

You stared at the glowing phone in your hand. It’s the most you’ve been called from the pack. The most was from Sam, your stomach dropped at the fact. You turn your phone off. You didn’t want those emotions to spill out again.

The only that open in your art room was the window. You just let it out in there. You had no direction as you worked. It was all impulse.

A stretched canvas was covered by the time sky was dark. You didn’t care that your hands and your back was hurting. The theme was self hatred. The theme was self sabotage. The theme was loss.

You sit down and put your head to your knees, starting to cry some more.

When you woke up, you winced as you rose up from the hard floor. Your hands and fingers were stained by you didn’t care. The same clothes from a day prior were once again on your body.

You felt too ashamed to look into the mirror. Under the water, the same thought floated through your mind.

“What am I going to do?”

You sat on the bench, finishing a hot sandwich. Eating it on autopilot, you stared at the same spot in front of you.

You feel your phone in your pocket buzz and pull it out half heartedly.

“Yeah.” you say, lacking any emotion.

“Y/N, what the hell is going on?” the voice coated in authority.

“A lot. I don’t want to talk right now.”

“If not now, then when? We have to talk. Paul fucking snapped.”

“It’s what he always does. As soon as he doesn’t get his way. The one time I’m doing something for me it’s a problem. I’m here for work and I need to focus.”

A pause soon took place before Sam talked again, “There’s still a chance to resolve both of you guys’ issues. Now, you do have to come home so you both can talk and work it out. You’re his imprint.”

“His. It’s all about him, I guess.”

“Y/N, don’t be like that. This isn’t like you. It feels like I’m talking to a completely different person. What’s really going on?”

“Nothing! Oh, I know. Everyone’s trying to parent me instead of letting me live my life. My dream was to always do this. With or without Paul. I thought the imprint was about him making sure I am happy too?”

“It is. No one’s trying to parent you. However, Paul is in bad shape. I want you both to really get through this and not fall apart. Especially not right now.”

“Too late. We said too much that we both can’t even come back from. I’ll talk to you later.” you say. Sam calls your name but you hang up. You put your phone back into your pocket.

The next few days, seemed like a daze. You only remember bits and pieces. Like Emily calling you. That’s how you knew, it was definitely over.

As you got dressed for a dinner meeting with Larry, a knock hits your door. You open it and it’s Alice.

You both talk as she zipped you up from the back.

“It’s really over.”

“I’m sure it’s not.” she says, throwing your idea away.

“He got Emily to help him move my stuff out.” you say flatly.

Alice pauses and looks at you from behind before standing in front of you.

“Are…You okay?”

“Life keeps on going.” you say with a soft shrug. She then wraps her arms around you.

You watched as Larry talked loud with a man that he knew for years. He owned his own high profile gallery and wanted to know if Larry stumbled across any talent.

Larry brought you.

You didn’t drink leisurely. But you did tonight.

“I know she has something done. Y/N.” Larry calls to you. You look at him. He’s wearing a humorous smile, he was tipsy.

“You got something done?” he asks you and you nod and he laughs nudging the client who’s very pleased.

“Bring what you got into my office tomorrow.” he says. You nod.

What you brought, he liked. He actually vocally loved it. You forced a soft smile to be polite. He shook your hand and offered to buy it off of you.

“How much do you want for it?” he asks as Larry sits on the edge of his office desk, hands in his pockets. The man had an elbow resting on his hand as he looked at the work you did.

“Um…” you say as you look at it, “Whatever you can give me.”

He was generous. Too generous. Your eyes bulge out of your sockets at the amount of 0’s. Larry and the person who paid you, shook each other’s hand with a smile. They promised each other to catch up with each other soon.

Coming out of the office, you stopped past your apartment to get your book. You didn’t want to be stuck in the boxed home. The wind wasn’t blowing too bad.

You were entrapped into the storyline of your book. You hear faint movement from the small table you were sitting at. You look up to see liquid gold staring back at you. You look back down to the words.

“Congratulations on your piece being sold.” he says.

“Thanks.” you mutter.

Some time slowly went past as you tried to concentrate back onto your book but you just couldn’t. You get up and Edward thought you were leaving. You instead went to a table that had a puzzle laid out. You focused on that.

He slides the piece that you were looking for in your direction. You stare at it. You sigh. He doesn’t say anything.

“What do you do when you want to crawl into a hole and die?” you ask him quietly as you snapped the piece into place.

“I just go away for a while.” he answers.

“Maybe, that’s what I need to do.” you mused.

“Maybe.” he says back.

He speaks again, “I’m going to Ithaca again. Would you come?”

You look at him. He’s waiting for your answer.

“I have nothing else better to do.”

A night of sleep later, you watch the road in front of you as he drives on it.

You were surrounded by hugs and talks of how happy they were to see you.

“Surprised that Alice isn’t here.” Esme says.

“Her and Jasper decided to stay back.” Edward answers.

“How long will you be with us?” Carlisle asks with a smile as he looked down at the bag that Edward was carrying.

“It’s just for a breather.” Edward says.

“It’s not much, but thank goodness there’s a bed for you to sleep in.” Esme says as she guides you up the grand stairs, into a spare bedroom. It was very spacious.

“I appreciate this. Thank you.” you say.

“Just let me know if I can help you with anything.” she says. You nod and she starts to leave but you say, “Wait.” She stops in the doorway, eager to hear what you have to say.

You hesitate but her eyes were warm enough for you to feel comfortable enough to continue, “How….How do you get over feeling heart broken? This is the real reason for the getaway.” you say in a small voice. She steps in and has a sympathetic look on her face.

She extends her arms out and you step in them. She rubs your back as you hug her back.

“Just feel it and then let it go.” she says. You both step back and look at each other. You nod in understanding. She touches your arm in a gentle manner.

You sketch in your book with your knees up as you sat on the bed. It was causal. You let your mind feel and run through the memories of you and Paul. You let yourself feel the emotions and the feelings that wanted to overflow.

You hear your name being called and you jerk from being startled.

“Scared me.” You say to Edward’s figure in the doorway.

“You scared me. I’ve been calling your name.” he says.

You pause as you look at him.

“You have?” you ask. He nods. You watch as he moves closer into the room. He sits on the edge of your bed.

“You can talk to me if something’s wrong.” he says.

You set your book aside and you watch as his eyes couldn’t help but flicker to the open page.

“It’s not finished yet.” you say to him.

“I wouldn’t have been able to tell.” he says bringing out a soft grin. Nothing is said for a moment.

“See anything? Read anything?” you ask and point to your temple. He nods a bit.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” he says sympathetically. The way he says it made it seem like he was the one who hurt you.

“What doesn’t kill us really makes us stronger.” you say, chuckling a bit at the cliché.

“You are strong.” he comments quietly.

In the kitchen, you stood next to Edward as you watch him stand at the island as he pours piping hot water over a tea bag that’s resting in a tea cup.

He slides you the cup and the small bowl of sugar cubes.

It was only you and Edward in the living room after you had drunken your tea. It soothed your throat. The television wasn’t on. You both talked.

“So…He just moved your stuff out?” he asks quietly.

“Yeah. A friend of mine helped him and…Everything’s back at my family’s home.”

“How come you never really talk about your family?”

You shrug.

“I don’t know. Plus, they’re always so busy.” you answer. The times that they were there, they would be so tired from working that you felt bad to bother them. You knew it was so you could live comfortably. But, you missed that family orientation. The pack gave you that, but you didn’t know if that was even on the table still.

“Is that what made you like doing art so much?” he asks. You nod.

“I was a lonely kid. Art was always my friend.” you say.

“When you moved out, was it a relief to them?” he asks.

“Not a relief but, they were just glad that I found someone who made me happy.” you say. You look to him.

“You don’t have to answer, but since changing, do you miss your real parents?” you ask.

Edward mused, he spoke out, “Yes. But, I know that my mother was on her last breath begging Carlisle to save me.”

“She knew?” you ask surprised.

“I’m not sure if I’m quite honest.” he answered.

“Were you the only child?” you ask. He nods.

“This might be random but since you’re who you are…Are you able to have children with someone?” you ask.

“No.” he answers. You’re confused.

“I have nothing but venom through my body. Excluding the blood from when I feed.”

“Wow.” you say.

“Would you want children in the future?” he asks.

You shrug, “They’re a lot of responsibility. So, I’m not sure.”

“And expensive.”

You give him a look, “I think that’s the last thing you have to worry about.”

He makes smiles a bit, “Still, we can’t leave that part out.”

“What about you? Would you want children if you could have them?” you ask and he looks at you while you ask this question.

“With the right person.” he answers.

Rosalie enters the room, she takes a glance at you. “What are you doing still up?”

“It’s early.” you say.

“It’s the middle of the night.” she says.

“What? I can’t be apart of the party?” you ask. She grinned at this.

“I heard talks about children we can’t have.” she says as she sits down in a chair facing the both of you.

“You wanted a family?” you ask. She nods. You then find out that she’s a New York native.

“What part?” you ask.

“Rochester.” she says. You nod in acknowledgment. You all fall into casual talk and you see the sibling dynamic between Rosalie and Edward. The bantering between them were tossed back and forth.

You started to yawn. You rise up. Edward followed you with his eyes.

“Goodnight, Rosalie.”

“Goodnight. Or should I say good morning.” You both smile at each other.

You turn to Edward who’s watching you in a relaxed state. You lightly smother your hand on his that was resting on the arm of the sofa. You peer down at him as he looks up to you.

“Goodnight, Edward.”

“Goodnight.” he says with a warm smile.

You slept until you hear a knock on your door. You sit up and rub your eyes with the soft, warm blanket.

“Come in.” you say in your morning voice and yawn. You open your eyes from your yawn to Edward holding a breakfast platter.

“You didn’t have to do this.” you say as he placed the platter over your legs.

“It was nothing.” he says. As you ate, he asked, “Are you feeling better?”

You slowly chewed, “It will take time.”

Edward took your empty dishes and told you, “We should be back soon. Me and the others are going out to hunt.” You nod.

You get ready for the day, shaking your head at the fact that Alice snuck in some clothes. You then lounge while reading a book.

Your mind started to trail off and you started thinking of Paul again.

“Just let it go.” you say in your head as you closed your eyes.

But you couldn’t. You still felt the connection there.

You call Jared.

“Y/N, Y/N, Y/N.” he says as he picks up the phone. The voice wasn’t happy. He was disappointed.

You sigh a bit, “Hey.”

“You know you fucked uo right?”

“I know….Wheres Paul?” with deep shames

“He hasn’t been here in days. He won’t shift back.”

You sit up straighter, “Have him call me. I know I said things I didn’t mean and I really want to apologize to him.”

“I think…That’s not going to work.” he says.

“Why not?”

“He played back everything and I saw everything. Y/N, you really broke his heart. You’re all that he had. You of all people should know that. I really can’t believe you.”

“Yes.”

“Hold up.” he says and it’s silent. However, he’s still on the line. Your heart pounds in your ears.

“Yeah.” It was blunt. No feelings.

You open your mouth to say sorry, but you felt like it wasn’t enough. You close it back. You let out a breath that he hears. He then speaks again.

“Y/N. We have to be apart.”

Your heart felt like it was being squeezed.

“I know that you know that you know that your stuff is back with your family.” There was no ill intent in his voice.

“Yes.” you say.

“I’m going to let you do your career. I won’t hold you back. You do you and I’ll do me. Whether you hate me or not, I’m still your protector. You won’t have to worry about me stepping on your toes, Y/N.”

“I don’t hate you.” you whisper as you hold your head.

“But, I’m gonna go ahead and go.” he says and before you could finish saying okay, Jared was back on the line.

You don’t know how you stayed with your head down with your forearms on your knees, but you sit up when the room light turns on.

You blink. Rosalie stares at you.

“Everything alright?” she asks from the doorway.

“Time will tell, then I would know.” you say.

She furrows her eyebrows in thought. She took in the statement.

Edward watched as you followed Rosalie. You walked down the steepness of the wooden stairs into the garage.

You just look around as the shiny cars and she stops in between two cars.

“Which one is yours.”

“Both of them.”

“Nice.” you say.

You sat on a stood as you watched swiftly clean the car. Still slow enough to have something to do in order to talk to you.

“So it was Edward, then you, then Emmett, Alice, and then Jasper.” you say after she tells you about her. She told her truth. She liked being human.

“Yeah.” she says lightly as she treated the task with such diligence. However, it looked like an editorial photo shoot for a magazine.

“You learn any of this stuff in college?”

“From high schools and universities that I have graduated from of course. Electrical engineering, astrophysics, and business, degrees in all of them.” She says with a soft smirk, “Also, I help keep Carlisle up to date on the latest advancements since so I also studied medicine.” She’s proud of herself. She looks to you.

“Busy and brilliant.” you comment. You were impressed. She softly flips her hair without any hands, only a little at that statement.

“When my future car gets messed up, I know right who to come to.” you day and she laughs lightly.

“Or buy another one.” she says with a grin.

“Nah, I would just hold onto it. It has to be on its last leg in order for me to just buy another one.”

“I heard your birthday was coming up. Have any ideas of what you’re going to do?” she asks.

“No idea. Most likely spend the day by myself and treat myself.”

Her chuckle kind of caught you off guard as she looks at you.

“What?” you ask.

“I doubt you will be by yourself.” she points out with a soft grin.

“Well….Definitely can’t go home for my birthday.” you say sadly.

“There’s more to do here than….There.”

“Im supposed to listen to the native who won’t show me around her city?” you tease and you saw her white teeth flash.

“I will show you around. But, me and Emmett are getting married again soon.”

“How sweet.” you comment with a sappy smile as you slowly spin while sitting on the stool.

As you move through the home, you hear Emmett’s loud booming voice.

“Come on!”

He was intently watching the television as people in hard helmets were tackling one another on the field with a brown football. There was a significance in the scores, you were guessing the team Emmett was rooting for was losing. You watched this until the announcer transitions into a commercial break.

He starts to vent to Carlisle about how it’s a shame that his team was losing to “horrible players.” Carlisle lip turns up only a little at his son’s frustration with the sport. He then turns and sees that you’re watching the scene.

“You seen that right?” Emmett asks you. You nod.

Carlisle chuckles as Emmett starts talking to you about interceptions and you just stare at him as you were never really into football. But, you still nod and hum out responses as he talks with his hands. The sound of the game resuming from break makes him then turn back around and watch the screen.

You feel something in your hand and you look down. Then back up to Edward’s soft expression.

“Esme wants to check up on you.”

He leads you through the home and into Esme’s workspace. Blueprints of architectural drawings were spread out on her desk. She looks up with warmth as she sees your face.

You move in closer as her maternal nature made you feel at ease.

“Are you okay?” she asks in concern. You nod.

“Did you think about what we talked about?” she asks.

“Yes.”

Edward looks between you two and he doesn’t hide his quizzical expression. Esme softly laughs at this as she takes a look at his face.

“This is girl talk, Edward.” she states to him. You didn’t notice that his hand was holding yours until he had to remove himself.

With him gone, you reveal your phone call to Jared. You kept it discreet as possible due to his super hearing, but you were thankful that she was able to read between the lines.

“I was all that he had. The guilt feels worse than the words that were being said.” you say.

For him to be their mortal enemy, she doesn’t show it as she genuinely says, “I’m sorry.”

Then subject smoothly changes as you point out her home renovation plans. You find out that’s what she likes to do.

“I have degrees in art and photography as well.” she says.

“I’m mad, you never told me you had a degree in art.” you tease and she chuckles.

“Yup. I’m so impressed with you though. You’ve never been to college but yet here you are knocking things out of the park like a pro. You really have a gift.” she says.

“Thanks.” you say.

“Edward has to bring you around more often so that we can have our own little art session. Maybe you can teach me a thing or two.” she says and you shake your head, “Me teach you?”

She smiles, “You’re doing something that I’m definitely missing.”

“An art session would be nice.” you say and she’s pleased with this statement. You look down at the blueprints of interior and exterior designs that were at her fingertips.

“I designed this home.” she says and you’re impressed as you really look around. You make note to take a closer look of the home when you leave her workspace.

“Did you design the home in Washington?” you ask. She nods.

“When I saw the house for the first time, I just kept thinking about how good the build was. It was impressive.” you say.

“I appreciate that. I actually would like to design a home for you.”

“No, no, no need.” you say but she overpowered your statement with, “Yes. And I want to.” with a smile.

“Why are you guys so…Welcome? Especially to me…A human.”

“I can’t speak for anyone else but, me and also Carlisle see how happy you make our dear Edward.”

Your stomach drops and you stutter out, “Oh, um…Me and Edward are just friends that’s all.” You say fidgeting with the small magnetic balls that rested on her desk.

“Well, you’re a good friend to him. He’s more lively around us instead of usual brooding self. Oh, you should see the look on his face when we ask about you.”

You nervously chuckle as the small ball clacked softly with the other one, her actions reminded you of a mother who was embarrassing you.

You ate a bowl of soup as you listened to Emmett get mad at the television that contained the players who tiredly walked with their hands on their hips.

“A loser team beat them. A team that doesn’t come close to their record at that!”

You softly chuckle as you know how that feels. You didn’t expect Edward to enter in. You nod your head in acknowledgment at his presence.

“And Esme wants me to bring you around more often.” he says as the bickering continues.

With a soft grin, “That doesn’t bother me.” You then look at him watching you and you continue with narrowed eyes, “You weren’t supposed to be listening in our girl talk.”

He taps to his ear, “You know I can’t help it.”

“You could’ve…I don’t know. Ran off somewhere.” You shrug as the spoon touch your lips.

“Run where?” he asks.

“Like I would know. You know this place better than me.”

“I want to show you something tomorrow.” he says.

“If it’s bad, I’ll pass.” you say.

A melodic chuckle rings out that makes you look at him, “It’s nothing bad. Why do you always think of the worst?”

“To brace myself for impact.”

“I impact you?”

“Not too much.” you say at his smile.

He takes your empty bowl away as soon as your spoon sets down. He comes back when you move off of the chair.

“Are you up for another match?” he asks you as you move into the living room.

“Another match of what?”

He puts an arm around you and steers you to the small table with the chess pieces sitting tall. You give him a look. He looks back.

“I’m not going to do you like that. I whooped you so bad last time.” you say and you couldn’t help but grin when you heard Emmett’s abrupt laugh.

“You were scared during the entire first part of the game. Don’t get cocky now.” Edward teases.

He sits down and you flop down at the small table in the corner.

He was in charge of the black pieces and you were the white.

“Ready when you are.” he says as you were supposed to make the first move.

You do so. He was relaxed. You stare as he move his piece without hesitation.

You move again and he moves after you.

You stare at the board in disbelief. Your jaw was dropped, he beat you in the matter of four moves. You didn’t know how it was possible.

He takes a finger to move your mouth up to close it.

“Keep the flies out, shall we?”

You nudge his hand which makes him laugh. You rise up and he calls for you to sit back down. You shake your head slightly and move to walk past him to the staircase but he lightly grabs your hand with both of his.

You halt your steps but you don’t look at him.

“I didn’t know you had a sore loser attitude.” he says and humor is coating his tone.

“Whatever. It’s still 1-1.” you say.

“I’ll go easy this time.” he says and this makes you look at him. He’s enjoying this. You playfully roll your eyes. You let him lead you to him as he softly tugs you. You peer down at him.

“It’s just a game Y/N.” he speaks out.

“You think I don’t know that?” you say to him. You feel his fingertips caress your hand as you say this to him. He doesn’t say anything as a warm smile dance on his features.

“Maybe we should end it here. I won so you got me back.” you suggest. You tried to keep your voice even as best as you could.

“You know you’re the only person I can play against fairly.”

He laughs at your loathing expression at the thought of another game.

“Please?” he bells out. You sigh as you look at his face.

“Will it get you to leave me alone?” you ask without any weight as you then take a seat across from him. Your legs brushed his and he didn’t mind. He instead set the pieces back on the right place on the board without rushing.

“I’m not sure about all of that.” he says with a crooked grin.

You both didn’t finish the game. He savored it out to the point where you resigned from the match. The amount of pieces you both had were equal to each other and you know that he did it on purpose.

“This doesn’t mean you win.” you say.

“It’s a tie anyways.” he says with a grin.

“I’m going to bed.” you say. You noticed that the others weren’t in the living room with you and Edward.

“It’s still early.” he says as you rise up and he rises too. He takes your hand again, “Watch something with me.” he persuades.

“Another vintage movie?” you ask as you let him lead you to the spacious couch.

“It doesn’t have to be.” he says.

“I was just teasing.” you say. He relaxes as you sit down next to him.

He was impatient as you ate breakfast the next morning. You raise your eyebrow at him as softly drummed his fingers on the table as you took your last bites.

“Ready to go?” he asks as soon as you put your dish in the sink.

“I just got done.” you say with your hands up defensively.

You didn’t expect him to lean forward and zip your coat up for you when you were finished putting your arms through the jacket.

You watch him as he then takes your hand, leading you outside of the home. Before you knew it, you were on his back as he ran with such blurred speed.

The wind wasn’t blowing as bad as you thought it would be. The landscape looked as if it were untouched. You greedily took it all in as you were sliding off of him.

You take steps forward as it was spacious. It looked as if it could go on forever and ever. The blooming plants made you forget that it was ever chilly outside.

You look to Edward, “How do you even-” you start but look ahead again as you answered your own question.

He interlaced his hand with yours and brought you down with him. You sat close next to him as you look at the joined hands.

Not taking your eyes away, “Do you remember what I said?”

“I could’ve ran off somewhere?” he asks you and you look at him as he grins. You lift the joined hands that never detached and nudge them against him and you say, “No. Not that.”

“Then what?” he says.

“That…You know….That we’re friends.” you say as you look down. You didn’t say it out loud loudly. A loud volume of words seemed to be out of place for a scenery like the one you were at.

“I know. My Dracula mind didn’t forget.” he says and you both breath out a soft chuckle.

He watched you however, stare at the hand that he was still holding. Your face was blank but he knew that you were thinking.

“Does this inspire you?” he asks you carefully.

“Anything does.” you say.

“So does that mean….I inspire you?” he asks. He meant it as a joke but his ears heard your heart thump an extra beat.

You instead stare at the distance. You didn’t see the happiness that danced on his face.

You look back down when you felt his hand let go of yours. He is sitting back with his elbows resting beside him.

You copy him. He turns his head to look at your face. It was pleased.

“Does this feel good? On your skin I mean.” you ask.

“The weather?” he asks in confirmation. You nod.

“So so.”

“Is that your version of my ‘it’s alright’ ?” you ask and you watch as his face is full of amusement.

“Nothing beats your ‘it’s alright’. You make it so obvious.”

“Is that so?” you ask sarcastically.

“Answer this then. What do you think about the time that we spend together?” he quizzes.

“Its……” you instinctively replied but you roll your eyes as his eyebrows raise with a smile. He was ready to laugh at you.

“It’s horrible. You’re the worst person to hang out with.” you say but his melodic laugh is being heard in your ears already.

“The worst person shows you the best places.” he comments as he stared at you.

“It’s not all that great.” you mutter but his amusement never faded.

He takes your hand again and lays down on his back. He placed your hand is placed on his hard chest. The chill of his skin made little goosebumps rise on your arm. You furrow your eyebrows as you stare at the soft material of his shirt.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks you as he watched you.

“I don’t know why it never occurred to me that you don’t have to breathe. Your chest doesn’t rise up and down like mine does.” you observe.

“We don’t have to. But, it’s uncomfortable for me.” he says.

“Uncomfortable, how?”

“It’s how I sense my surroundings. Plus, it’s a familiar action.”

You nod.

“You’re so warm.” he comments.

“You’re so cold.” you comment back as he then slides your hand up to his cheek. It felt like you were touching a statue.

You couldn’t help but to feel with your hand. He lets you. Your fingers trace the smoothness of his cheek before you slide them slowly down to his jawline. His blinking starts to slow.

You had to admit, the longer your hand was on his skin, the surface of it didn’t feel freezing. Your body temperature adjust to the touch. You peer down as your hand was now rising on his forehead. Slightly hooded eyes stared back at you with such intensity, in the pit of your stomach a wave of sensational energy violently fluttered about. Your hand slides up and disappears into his hair and you pull your hand away like it was fire. You didn’t expect it to feel like rich silk. Sitting up fast but nervously, you try to keep your breath even.

“Something wrong?” he asks as your eyes wildly look everywhere but him.

“Are you sure you weren’t dazzling me?” you softly ask with your eyes closed. You sit with your knees up to your chest. He sits up as well, he’s forearms rest against his knees. He’s very close and tilts his head to have a better look at your face.

“No. I wouldn’t do that to you.”

You don’t look at him.

“Is that why you’re scared to look at me?” he asks quietly but it sends a chill in your ear.

You slowly turn your head to his direction but your eyes are still down. Your eyes watched as he didn’t have to wear a jacket, traveling up his shoulder, that’s when seen a glint hit his exposed neck. It reminded you like a gem. You let your eyes travel up more, you mentally kick yourself for them to land at his lips, because when you look up into his set of eyes, his gaze is on yours as well. It’s very in tune. A look of yearning that almost scared you.

You were afraid to react, not out of fear, but you didn’t know how to react. Your breath changed its pattern when his hand slowly reached out. You eyes fluttered closed as you felt the soft but firm brush of the hook of his index finger traveling down your cheek. It was like he knew right where touch.

Without missing a beat, his finger hooked under your chin. A thumb follows, brushing across the bottom of your lip, which causes it to crack open just slightly. He hears the quiet but shaky that flowed out. You close the crack of your mouth and you blink. His hand now cradled the side of your face. You place a hand over his, matching your fingers up with his. It was as if he was trying to figure you out with the way he was looking.

His hand traveled down to the side of your neck. You keep looking ahead at him as he now holds the nape of your neck. Before you know it, he’s on his back from sitting up and your head is close to his chest. He holds you close this way. You place a hand on his chest, lifting your head lightly to look at him and he had a look of contentment. Your hand slides up his chest, all the way up to his cheek.

He turns his head and you close your eyes as you felt his lips brush the front of your throat. Your head moves down slowly as your forehead and now against his. Both of your eyes are closed, both of his eyes are closed. Noses touched.

You then open your eyes and sit up slowly. His hand falls majestically from the nape of your neck, now around your waist and you are on your side. You watch as his face looks and faces up to the sky. He breathes in and his eyes fall to a close.

You both take your time walking. You both brush against one another with the steps that were being taken.

He pushed open the door to the home that contained his family. Your arm is stretched from him tugging on your hand, the same hand he made sure to keep a hold of.

Your fingers are holding the white sheet on paper. The crease lines were still evident but you continue to stare at the drawing.

“You still have this.” you state as you continue to look at the photorealistic image in your hands.

“I keep it on me when you’re not around.” he states.

You’re eyes look up and a lax smile stretched on your features, “Like you miss me that bad.”

As you stand in front of him, paper in your hands, he’s sitting on the couch that’s in his room. His hands are on your leg as he looked up at you, “I even miss you when you’re asleep.”

His hand is smothered over your hand as it rests on the table. You ate the dinner that Esme learned to make. Her smile was big when you complimented it.

You sat against the headboard, knees up with your sketchbook resting in your lap. Your hand worked the page as you drew in colors. Putting your own twist to the field you saw today. The scenery being drawn gave you a sense of utopia.

You yawned as you felt your eyes droop. You turn off the lamp and drift off to sleep.

You felt something ticklish in your hand. You tossed and turned your head as you thought it was in your dream but your body gained consciousness. You blink open your eyes to see Edward’s fingers lightly touch yours.

You turn over and groan a little, “My mouth was open and everything.”

A light chuckle comes from him, “You’re fine.”

You sit up straighter on the headboard and he has a seat on the edge of your bed. He picks up the book that was resting beside you. You rub your eyes as he takes a long look.

“Is this the place we went yesterday?” he softly asks.

You pull the book from his hands as you felt a touch of embarrassment, you stuffed the feeling down as he looked at the new spot your set it at.

“It’s really good. You made it better than it actually is.” he says to you.

“No, that sight was amazing.” you disagree.

“That picture was amazing.” he says and you give him an amused look. You get out of bed.

In the sunroom, you lounged as you were focused in your sketchbook. You had received an email and Larry wanted to see if you could make another piece for his gallery to start the new month coming up, off to a great start.

You sketched of ideas but nothing seemed to stick.

You grunt as your brain ran out of ideas. It started to travel elsewhere. Your hands were craving something but you didn’t know what.

The others came back from hunting but Edward didn’t. You tried your best to not ask where he was, you felt like it would give something away if you did. You just didn’t know what.

That night, you helped Esme build minutare models of her interior designs that reflected her blueprint sketches.

You thought about making a minutare home like how you were helping Esme with but, you didn’t know how to amplify it. You wanted to make something so good that it shocked you.

“How was you and Edward’s outing yesterday?” Esme softly asks as she paints a mini chair in her hands.

“It was good, he showed me the most amazing field of nature where flowers bloomed. I drew what I saw. I have to show you.” you say.

“I would love to see it.” she comments as she sets the chair down to dry.

You silently paint a chair of your own until the question wouldn’t stop eating at your brain, “Where is he?”

“He told us he was making a quick trip. He told me to tell you that he will be back before you know it.”

You nod as you set down the chair to dry.

It was still early when you were woken up out of your sleep. You decide to use the bathroom and brush your teeth. You lay back down. You don’t want to head downstairs just yet.

You close your eyes. You hear the door creak open. You slowly open your eyes and see Edward smiling softly down at you. He’s sitting close to where you’re laying.

You sit your body up and before you could hesitate, you wrap your arms around him in a hug. He’s been gone for three days.

“Are…Are you alright?” you ask him as your chin rests on his shoulder.

His hand brushed your back, creating a chill down your spine.

“I am now.” he says.

You pull back and he watched you with a warm expression. His hand comes up to brush your cheek and your eyes immediately close with a flutter at the fact. You tried to calm your breathing from starting to shake.

You learned another song. This time you didn’t care about the trial and error. Your fingers flexed in the keys as you tried to play the full variation that he taught you. Edward sat next to you, his arm wrapped around your lower back with his hand resting on the outer part of your thigh.

Rosalie walks past, “You’re lucky Y/N. He acts funny when I ask to play his piano.”

“You play?” you ask impressed.

“She plays sometimes.” Edward brushed off.

“I’m the next musically inclined after you, Edward. Don’t start.” she seethed. A smile cracks your lips.

Esme allowed you to work in an art studio that she had. In under the condition of, “Please show me what you make.”

You forgot to close the door all of the way. As you paint the base colors on your canvas, you catch Edward walking in, in the corner of your eye.

You slow your movements, your mind focused on how you were being perceived.

His hands were in his pockets he watched you work without confidence.

“What about people watching you work make you nervous?” he asks.

You grip your wooden brush tighter in your hand as you blink at the material.

“I don’t know…It just happens to be that I do best when I’m alone.”

“When did you realize this?”

You turn your head at where he’s standing and grin, “I don’t know. Are you trying to distract me or something?”

“No. If I wanted to distract you, I would’ve done it by now.” he says. You roll your eyes playfully.

You kept smudging the colors, having to continue to redo sections over. You shook your head as you mumbled out disapproval statements. What seemed stressful to you, seemed like inspiration to him.

He sat in the room as he felt like it was a sight too see.

“Do you want to take a break?” he asks as he watched you wipe your forehead with the back of the long sleeve shirt you wore.

You shrug and turn the canvas around and stomp out. He follows you out. You stomp up the stairs. You try to close the bedroom door without looking but he kept it from shutting as he followed you.

You flopped across the bed on your stomach. Your head rest on your folded arms.

“Stop being so hard on yourself.” he speaks out.

“Edward, let me sulk.”

“Sulking isn’t going to make you finish.” he says with a hand resting on your back.

“It’s so bad, it would be a sin to approve of that.” you say in defeat.

“The only sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for nothing.”

He watched you sit up and look square at him.

“I know where you got that from.” you say.

He brings on a grin.

“Who?” he quizzed.

“Dostoyevsky. Now, this is a serious matter. I don’t want to work on my birthday.” you groan and lay back on your stomach.

”Pace yourself. Allow yourself to embrace your human flaws.”

“That’s not helping.” you say muffled as your face was down with defeat. There was silence. But your mind wasn’t.

He watched as you slowly rise and head back into the art studio as you left in. You cut up cardboard. You plug in a glue gun. You get to work.

Edward comes in right when you paint over the last bit of your newly designed piece. You feel him over your shoulder and is glad that the weight is off of yours.

“That looks like us.” he says.

“That’s because you want it to be.” you say to him but to be fair, you just did what you felt.

Esme stared at it in awe. The smile on her face looked proud in a way. It was so good, she gave you a hug.

You left the piece in there to dry and you tiredly rub your hands together underneath the running water. It was late into the night. You were able to head off upstairs for bed until you feel a hand tug your hand to guide you to the kitchen.

“I’m tired.” you softly whine.

“You haven’t eaten since early this morning.” he says. You ate fast so you can lay down.

However, your bedroom was feeling a bit hot due to the heat that blew from the vents.

“Do….” you shake your head and say, “Goodnight.”

Before you bury yourself fully under the covers, he steps away from the doorway.

“What were you going to say?”

“It’s a bit…Hot.” you say. Edward then steps forward.

“You need to cool down?” he asks carefully and you nod.

You didn’t know what you were expecting but he lay close to you. A much needed chill ran through your body as you lie on your stomach and his hand is flat on your back.

You woke up to a whisper. You couldn’t figure out what it said but your body shifts into consciousness. A hand runs down the back of your shoulder and you open your eyes.

“Happy birthday.”

“Thanks.” you say with a tired grin.

You sit up and stretch. You get his attention.

“See? Imagine if I didn’t get done yesterday.” you point out.

He grins and nods in agreement.

Before you could process anything else, Alice bursts through your bedroom and you smile as she wrapped her arms around you. The hug was firmer than usual as she was excited.

“Happy birthday!” she squeals.

“Thank you, thank you.”

She pulls your hands up and you’re up and out of bed.

“I have your birthday outfit. I’m going to go get it. Edward out.” she shoos off.

“Wait, Y/N. Just come with me I have to show you something.” he says.

“Let her get herself together first.” Alice says as her eyes roll.

You hold up a hand to Edward with a smile, “It will be quick. I’m just getting dressed.”

You stood in the mirror and you immediately got nervous. The outfit was good. Too good. It looked as if you could be in fashion week with the matching set. She tugged your hand to go downstairs but you resist.

She watched you as you sit down in a chair. You keep your legs together as you were wearing a skirt.

“You…Don’t like it?” she asks as you looked down. Your face didn’t show enjoyment.

You look up at her and you reassured her crushed face, “Alice stop it, I love it. It’s just…” you stop and she sits on your bed as she peered ahead at you.

“What is it?”

“I’m nervous.” you reveal.

“Don’t be. You’re about to be surrounded by people who can’t wait to celebrate your special day.” she says. You nod. A phone call makes your phone buzz beside you and you pick it up.

“Happy birthday, Y/N.” you hear and you smiled.

“Thanks, Emily.”

“Any plans? What are you doing?”

“I don’t know. I’m going with the flow of today.” you say.

“Well, I won’t hold you but, I miss you so much! I know you’re out there doing great things and I just wanted to say how proud I am of you but I know that you will get through anything.” she says. You knew what she was implying, you tell her you miss her too. You really did. You followed Alice down the stairs, the small clack was heard from the footwear Alice brought to go along perfect with what you had on.

Edward was waiting for you at the bottom of the stairs.

“Okay. I’m all yours.” you say. Without missing a beat, Edward says, “Look outside.”

You open the grand front door and outside sits a luxurious car with a present bow sitting prettily on top.

You turn and sees Edward’s smile directed towards you.

“Happy birthday.” he says again. You gasp and bend your knees slightly in disbelief, “Edward.” you say. He chuckles at your reaction.

“Edward, are you….Fucking kidding me?” you say with shock and he pulls out the keys, dangling them and you were in total disbelief as your hand closed around them.

You grab the keys and his hands, “Edward. This isn’t real.” you say. You don’t know if you’re trying to convince him or yourself. Alice had a camera at hand, smiling at the moment.

He peers down at you as he takes your hand and opens the driver door with his other hand.

You were overwhelmed. He watched from the passenger seat as you touched the steering wheel with such care. It was almost as if you were afraid to touch it.

He starts the car for you and the engine purred to life. It rode really smooth as you test drove it. You couldn’t stop smiling.

He soaked in the hug that you gave him as you kept telling him thank you. His arms were snug around your waist.

You received hugs and received “Happy birthday”s from the rest of the family.

Esme made you breakfast and held out your plate.

You slowly chewed and looked at Edward who smothered your hand that was on the table you say at.

“I can’t eat. I’m too excited.”

A crooked smile hit your way, “No, no. Eat.”

Your head was on his shoulder as you sat next to him on the piano bench. He played a happy birthday song with his fingers. It was just the two of you.

He held your hand as you both took slow steps in the museum you both were in. By the time you two were in an art gallery, his arm was snug around your shoulders.

He held you close as you entered the home and the Cullen family screamed, “Happy birthday.”

You let out a thank you as the room was filled with balloons and on the wall was balloons that spelled out, “Happy Birthday.”

Alice shoved her present in your hands.

“Sheesh, already?” you ask.

“Yes! Now open it!” she says. You rip it open and it was a black box. You crack it open and it was a Van Cleef bracelet.

“Oh my god.” you say in shock. You dangle it with your fingers as you take a look at it.

“Do you like it?” she asks.

“Yes.” you breathed out, “Alice, I can’t accept this-”

“It’s my gift to you! Happy birthday.” she says with a bright smile. You give her a hug and as Rose steps forward, Edward clasped the bracelet around your wrist.

“Here’s mine.” she says and you take it.

“I’m scared. We already started off strong.” you say and soft chuckles fill the room.

You crack open Rose’s gift and it was a necklace from the same brand.

“I got you the necklace to match with the bracelet.” she says. You thank her immensely and give her a hug. She carefully placed the necklace around your neck.

Emmett excitedly gives you your gift. You tear it open and you start laughing. A handheld game box was now in your hands.

“Thank you.” you say and give him a hug and he says, “I already added myself as a friend.”

“Of course you did.” you say with a smile.

Jasper hands you your gift and it was games to go with the game. You hug him.

Esme and Carlisle hand you a gift with smiles on their faces.

Tearing it open, you gasp and you almost started to tear up.

“You guys can’t be serious.” you say and they’re smiling.

“We feel like you should have something from one of the greats.” Carlisle says.

“One day, you will be up there with one of the greats.” Esme says and you shake your head.

“No.” you say and they disagree.

You have Edward hold the painting, you hug them both.

“Thank you so much.”

Rose, Alice, and Esme disappeared in the kitchen. Emmett didn’t waste any time to tell you to get on your new gadget.

Edward haves a seat in a chair. You feel him touch your hand. You look up to him and he tugs your hand to pull you to where he was sitting.

You slowly sit down and your shoulder leans against his chest as you and Emmett play together on your handheld game. His hand rests on your knee. You laughed at Emmett’s competitive nature.

Alice bounced out, her camera was in hand. You set the game to the side as Rose and Esme brought out homemade ice cream and cake.

“Smile!” Alice says with a smile. You give a polite smile and Edward wraps his arms tight around your waist and he slumps you to him. You both face the camera. The camera flashes and you rise up meet them as they walk to you with a lit up cake.

Happy birthday was being sung and Alice snapped pictures while singing in high octave that was above everyone else.

You close your eyes with a smile and then blew out the candles.

As you cut your own slice of cake, Edward taps you. You turn around a very large bouquet of flowers that bloomed strong.

Your hands go to your mouth as you gasp. He places them in your arms with a content smile. You set them down on a table and your arms wrap around him. He sways you side to side for a bit.

You both sit across from each other as he held the spoon out. He fed you the homemade ice cream.

“It was really great. Thank you.” you tell Rosalie and Esme and they both are pleased that you liked it.

Edward holds out a wrapped gift and you look at him. You both were sitting on the couch in his bedroom.

“You already got me something.” you say.

“I know but, you will like this.” he says with a hand on your back.

You pulled out a cd player that operated on both being bluetooth and wired. He watched as your smile grew.

“There’s already a cd in there.” he says.

You go to pop it open but he places a hand on your hand to halt you. You look at him.

“Just play it.” he says. You nod and you say, “Be right back.”

You grab your headphones and sit down back next to him. After connecting your headphones, you extend a headphone for him to stick on his own ear. He gladly sticks it in his ear and you click the play button.

You softly chuckle as the song was familiar. You were in shock.

You take the headphone out as the song ended. You look at him.

“How did you do this?” you ask.

He brings on a soft grin, “I pulled some strings.”

You pop open the cd player and lift up the cd, reading it out loud.

“Y/N and Edward piano duet.”

He sticks his hand in his pocket and pulls out a folded piece of paper, handing it to you.

“Now, what is this?” you ask him.

“Something I made.” he says softly.

“Before I read this, answer me something?” you ask him.

“Anything.”

“What’s your motive?” you ask as you look down.

“My motive is to always be around you. To get to know all of you.”

You breathe in as you unfold the paper and read the note in your mind.

Can feelings shared , be set to unfold?

Offering my heart for you to hold.

The sweetest music I have found

The ring of your laughter, such a joyous sound.

Wanting to learn your thoughts, dreams and fears

And to whisper secrets in your ears.

Breathing life into me with such ease

Drawing me to you compellingly.

Here I stand with a hopeful plea

To conquer this world, just you and me.

Your eyes travel to the bottom of the page, it showcased a drawing that he did by hand, it was with pen. Permanent.

Two figures were together, holding each other close, depicting such devotion.

You slowly look from the page, your heart rate was higher than normal. He was waiting for your reaction and you swallowed and refolded the paper.

“But, I’m a human.” you say sadly. You felt it couldn’t work.

“It doesn’t matter to me.”

When you don’t say anything a hand holds yours as he continues, “You showed me there’s more to my soulless life. You’re my angel.”

You were overwhelmed with emotion.

You tried to cloud your brain with activities to make yourself not think about what happened. You didn’t have a definite answer.

So you joined Alice as she danced. You would’ve thought it was her birthday as she had so much fun. Jasper couldn’t help but join his wife with a smile.

You blinked awake as you tossed and turned that night.

Edward was gone in the morning. You wondered if it was because of the day prior.

He came back right when it was time to leave, you had to drop your piece off to Larry.

“You can drive…If you want.” you say as Edward put your bags in the trunk. To be fair you didn’t trust yourself to be on the road.

He drove as you looked out of the window. You glanced at him as he was in his own head.

“Say something, please.” you say softly. The silence weighed heavy in the atmosphere.

He stared ahead and he seemed conflicted.

“I said everything I needed to say.” he says quietly.

You look down.

Larry chuckles richly as you unveiled the piece. Larry greedily looked as he walked around it. He claps his hands together before turning to you with a big smile.

He then gives you a present.

You look down in surprise.

“Open it up.” he says with a grin.

You rip it open and pull out a subtle but diamond studded watch. It dazzled brightly and you look at him.

“Happy belated birthday.” he says and you give him a big hug.

You come out, Edward hold the door open for you. You slide in the car and he catches the flashy watch.

“Larry gave that to you?” he asks. You nod.

“Did he not like it? You look a little down.” he says.

“He loved it actually.” you say softly chuckling. He hums a response. It’s silent again. When he slows to a stop in front of your apartment building, you turn to him.

“You can….Come up if you want.” you sheepishly say.

He thinks for a moment, before saying, “I didn’t eat today. I’m going to hunt.”

You nod.

“I’ll bring your stuff up.” he tells you and gets out.

Before he leaves out of the door, you hug him. Your head was in the middle of his chest. He looks down as he holds you back.

“Are you sure it doesn’t matter?” you choke out.

He takes a hold on your shoulders and looks you in the eye, “It doesn’t matter. I only want you.”

Your body feels hot at his words.

“Will…Will you come back?” you ask.

“If you want me to….Do you want me to?” he asks.

“Yes.” you say.

He leans forward slowly, you feel his cool lips touch your forehead. You close your eyes as he lingers on your forehead.

You hung your painting up in your living room, you step back and fix the crookedness of it.

The flowers sprouted out of the clear vase that Alice had set on the table.

You sat by the window in your bedroom as you sketched idly. You paused as you couldn’t help but flip back to the page of when you two were in Ithaca, the big field.

You stare at it. The buzz of your doorbell jumps you out of your thoughts. You rise up and walk slowly towards the door and unlock it.

You lie on your back, your head is turned in his direction. He watches you as he lies next to you.

His hand cradles your cheek and you both blink at each other. You slide your hand up to his, to hold onto your cheek. It was as if marble was touching you, but the hand cooled down your burning cheek.

Faces were close together as you both flutter your eyes to a close. Softly his lips brushed yours in a gentle way.

He pulled away but you chased for more. You both meet each other again, you hold him close so he doesn’t pull back fast.

His eyes squeezed shut as your fingers made him feel something that felt foreign to him. It was a rush. He knew that if he was human, his body would be filled with butterflies.

Next to you on your nightstand, a printed out picture of you and Edward from your birthday was faced up.

You both silently look at each other as you both lie close. You didn’t want to feel nothing else but the feeling that you were feeling right now. A wave of serenity. With that, the sappy smile was on his face was contagious, as you matched it.

It took some getting used to, but you found out that Edward was scared to open mouth kiss.

He didn’t know what would happen if you were to accidentally swallow his saliva, his venom. Alternatives had to be made. He didn’t mind the fact that you liked to kiss him on his face, not always on his lips.

Your contract ended, you sat in Larry’s office as he looked right at you. Edward sat next to you in a pair of sunglasses.

“So when’s the wedding?” Larry asks. The ring sat strong on your finger. It was Edward’s mother’s. You wore it with pride.

You look to Edward and he replies, “Next month.”

Larry looked at the two of you.

“So, what are you going to do Y/N? Are you extending it with me?”

You suck in a breath as you shake your head.

“We’re- I’m going to relocate.” you tell him.

“Okay, where? I even have a gallery in London. We made great business together.”

You nod, “Yes, I know. But, I need to branch out more. I don’t want to be stagnant.”

“You weren’t stagnant with me.” he pleads.

“It was nice doing business with you, but I got a better opportunity in France.” you say.

“Who’s representing you?” he presses.

“Nobody. I’m going independent.” you say. He accepts this but, he was sad to see you go.

You hold Edward’s hand as Alice shows you everyone she invited.

“Don’t you think we should elope instead?” you ask.

“No, silly! This is a celebration! Everyone has to come.” she says.

Edward turns to you, “If you want to elope we can.”

Alice’s face falls and you quickly say, “It’s alright. We can elope first and then have the wedding to the public.”

She brightens up and claps with excitement.

The climate was warm. Edward’s eyes came alive as you stood in front of him. The ceremony was small and in an intimate setting.

Carlisle married you both on your elopement. Edward carefully kissed you as he cupped your cheek and his family were the only ones who were in attendance. You didn’t mind since you weren't nervous around them.

The island that Esme gifted you both was where you both sat and looked at each other with anticipation.

He was the one who wanted to wait.

“The first time I want to make love, it will be with my wife.” he told you one night as you tried to feel him up. You understood.

Now, it was you who was nervous. He was the one who had to reassure you. You didn’t expect his cool skin to feel good against yours, but to be fair, the air in the bedroom had raised in temperature.

You suck in a breath as your legs were over his shoulders, he kept whispering how beautiful you were.

Your fingers twist in the sheets at the sensation. As he kept pumping, your body got used to it. Gasps of pleasure breathed out of your mouth. He was firm and it hit the right spots that has you trembling with ease. You then knew that he was perfect all the way around.

He didn’t last long but you didn’t care, he was a virgin after all.

He couldn’t get enough. The next morning, he held you close he rocked into you. The bed under you both gave out, you panicked only for a second but, he gave you a kiss as he told you, “Don’t worry about it.”

Kim whispered as Jared listened closely. He was sad.

Paul walked in. He changed, his presence was on edge, if people feared him then, they definitely feared him now.

“What’s going on?” he asks as they both went quiet as soon as he entered.

Kim worriedly looked at Jared.

“I’ll tell him.” he tells her. She nods and leaves out of the kitchen of the home her and Jared had gotten together.

“You might want to sit down for this.” Jared tells his friend.

“Who died?” he asks.

“Nobody… Kim ran into Y/N’s parents.” Jared says and Paul responds to your name. He still felt the feelings, your name still affected him. He felt one day you were going to change your mind.

“She okay?”

“I don’t know. She’s getting married and they asked her if she was going to the ceremony.”

Paul snorts, “Who’s the square?”

Jared watched as Paul contorts into a fit of rage, even that he’s never seen before. A mixture of hurt and betrayal was deep in his features.

When Sam went to look for him, the thoughts in his wolf mind was dark. He knew then that he went rogue. Paul had successfully detached himself from the pack.

[elderwisp]

My 𝐓𝐨𝐩 24 𝐒𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬 from 2024 ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

I was tagged by @mikachusblog @aurorangen and @moonwoodhollow however I put together a recap earlier this month! Instead I'll pick about ten story moments I enjoyed from this year under the cut as well as a very special screenshot. I did want to make sure I tagged some people as well! :D

I tag: @acidheaddd @likelyamused @pink-chevalier @changingplumbob @salemssimblr

@matchalovertrait @lre333 @swiftviolets @sirianasims @lynzishell

1. January 8th: Kai shares a secret

⋆ This was a really fun flashback scene! We got to see Kai, Frances, Dan and Atlas in the earlier years of high school as well as learn that Kai has romantic feelings towards Atlas, who happens to be his first kiss! This is also where his arc officially begins in my mind!

2. March 6th: Taryn's skepticism

⋆ I remember being so proud of this scene because it was one of the first scenes I fully posed the conversation. I really enjoyed of Atlas and Taryn's mannerisms peaked through. I think this conversation while it focuses on a different subject, the nature of it shows their personalities. Taryn struggling with self confidence while Atlas's facade starts to unveil just a bit.

3. March 12th: Frances's solo

⋆ I was really proud of these poses as well as the shots. The shots of Icarus and Frances while romantic do say a lot about how each views each other. Your greatest heartbreak being how Frances feels and the deepest regret being how Icarus feels. For the cello poses, I did reference through watching performances but also real life so it was neat combining the two. I am excited for Frances's future in De Sol Valley especially when new faces are introduced to the cast. It might be similar to Atlas's prologue where Frances is the focus but just in a shorter interval.

4. March 9th: A rose and it's bumblebee

⋆ March was a good month. Maybe not for the characters, but a good month creatively for me ! I'm gonna sound so toxic but I love the tension between these two so much like hold out a bit longer please JUSTKIDDINGPFFTorami? anyways structuring taryn's monologue came out of order. the frames where she says "A stubbed toe. A scraped knee. A fall." came first. Everything else was built around those three sentences. The scene following that was fun to put together because Atlas really does struggle to apologize and take ownership over his fuck up that he tries to smooth things over by being charming but Taryn, getting more comfortable, shows her newfound skill of setting boundaries (courtesy of Atlas LMAO) and calls him out on the bullshit.

5. August 9th: Theo's official introduction

⋆ Much of Theo's life is hush hush as following after the WR arc we dive more into their lives but I do want to talk more about them. I liked following their life throughout the day and the general reclusiveness they have in a new city. Their only friend at the time is Gabriel and with no goals of going back to their old life, the only way forward is through. I will say, something about the city has a way of helping people find themselves.

6. August 8th: Of course I had to freaking include this scene

⋆ Gonna be so real right now but I was terrified to post this. Terrified. We see the chaos of Atlas's vices revealing a very important detail, one Rowan reminded us all and that is, Atlas seeks out trouble. The most curious and pressing part is why and how does it end? Any scene with Atlas is scary for me because he leaves a lot of subtle little hints but the extent of his nature is like slowly pulling off a band aid. Are people gonna like what's underneath? I'm never really sure but I do enjoy exploring his character quite a bit.

7. September 3rd: Ojitos lindos

⋆ First, I love Jules. Dude was literally supposed to only be in the one scene and... He wiggled himself into a handful. Second, was very proud of how the dance came out, with Taryn teasing Jules and Jules chasing every second of it until the kiss. OUGH! The little fiend in me blurred out "tu y yo" in the kiss scene to sorta symbolize Taryn beginning to move on from Atlas but as we see later, that was short lived. Taryn's monologue was the easiest to write and it comes from a person struggling with the bitter emotions of heartbreak.

8. October 8th: A formal introduction to Ares's life

⋆ Little lore drop but the Langs have been longtime characters of mine. In fact, longer than everyone else. Chase, Ares's father, was a main character of a youtube series I made long ago over the summers of my school days LMAO! So to revisit and restructure them as has been... WOW ! I wanted everyone to feel like they were a plant on a shelf observing the dynamics of specifically the women in Ares's life as well as the structure of his home. It felt subtle but good :)

9. October 18th: Kai's revelation

⋆ I think I have one more scene left for Kai's arc. I specifically wanted to focus on the concepts of jealousy, cognitive dissonance and religion coupled with Kai being a closeted man. I will say in the beginning, I did struggle to connect with this character. While some elements I can totally relate to, writing about it is different. Envy can be classified as an ugly feeling. It isn't palatable to most and is quickly shood away but because of that, we don't talk about it enough. So I wanted to go into this really humanizing this common emotion but not making it as some caricature of an emotion. I do love Kai's growth, I wanted to make sure he earned it and it sure feels like it.

10. November 23: The freaking arts festival

⋆ There's still like four-ish more posts to go. Those will be a bit less crash-out packed but I think it ends on a high note. There's a lot in these six posts. Some of it slightly nudging certain characters arcs, other parts deepening your knowledge of other oc's. I wanted to start out on the disappointment that Atlas faces seeing that the only person supporting him there is Daniela and how he copes in the only way he knows how. The arts festival is something he helped put together but it seems to be a reoccurring theme that any accomplishment he ever has is always overshadowed. It's always something. Each frame, every detail, to the dialogue in these two posts are intentional. The following scenes after that have some really cool conversations. I think the last post also has some unique dialogue as well but we'll pick back up on January 2nd! :)

Also a bonus! I wanted to show one of these first photos of Tessellate. It's no longer on my blog after the reboot but I wanted to show how much has changed in two years.

[doomtrooper77]

The door down the hall was also made of heavy steel and was built almost like a bank vault. It was cracked open, and I could see the glow of fluorescent light coming through the crack. Although the door was heavy, it opened smoothly. I walked into another vaulting warehouse space. This one was full of rows upon rows upon rows of weapons. It was like walking into a Costco, but just for guns and weapons of every sort. Racks going all the way up to the ceiling of crates made of wood, some of molded plastic, and others of metal lined each level of racking around me.

The racking was configured so that a path led into the back of the warehouse. I followed it. When I reached the end of the path, there was an area of worktables, machinery, and tools. Sitting beside the table was a massive man with a buzz-cut and thick beard. His arms were covered in tattoos, and he was the size of a fucking Mac truck. The other guys he had met were huge, but this man was massive. His eyes looked at me from under heavy brows. Bright like steel, they looked right through me.  In his hand was a machine gun of some type I had never seen before. Well, that told me I was in the right place. It wasn’t pointed at me, but something told me it could be in a microsecond if I said or did the wrong thing.

I walked over to him and said, “I guess you are the guy I am looking for, Mr.” He said nothing and kept looking at me. “Okay, I was told that you were the guy who could provide me with some specialty equipment that I need,” I continued. He still didn’t say anything and just kept looking at me. I was getting nervous now. My hand twitched to move toward the button, but I pushed that feeling down. I needed more evidence.  I needed to get him to talk. We both stood there in silence for another 30 seconds, and I said, “Listen, if you guys don’t want to do business, show me the door, and I can get out of here. If you are turning away money, then that’s cool with me. I will find someone else who can give me what I need. I just heard you were the man to talk to for things like this. Professional with quality goods.”

Again, silence until he said, “Who sent you, and what are you looking for?”  I gave him the name of the informant gave us and just enough background on the guy to make it seem legitimate. I hoped. He nodded slowly and said, “What are you looking for?”  Ice broken, I ran off a list of things we “needed”.  There were some esoteric things on the list that we hoped he had because it would put him and the rest of them in prison for the rest of their lives.  Again, he nodded and said, “I’ve got that. But ah, what do you need all that for?” 

Okay, this is not an unusual question, but “Listen, Mr.?? Like you, we have our own need for discretion. I’m told that all the gear you sell is untraceable, which is part of why you get paid extra. It’s why I am here, your rep is that you can desperately supply damn near anything a man can need from a weapons standpoint.” I said. He nodded sagely again. It was when I heard footsteps coming down one of the isles of the racking.

A middle-aged man came into view with a tablet in his hands. He was beefy but not like these guys. He stood around 6’1" and had a belly, but his shoulders were broad, and his arms were thick and hard. He looked like your office type of guy who worked out—a guy who wrestled in high school but got a bit soft around the middle. He looked at me as he walked over to the “Boss,” leaned over, and whispered in his ear.  I couldn’t hear what he was saying, but I could see the Bosses eyes. Those hard eyes did two things: they went ice cold, and an evil glint twinkled in them. His bearded mouth smirked. The guy with the tablet reached into his back pocket and pulled out a clear bag wrapped around a mesh of wire. Oh shit. I could see my phone in the bag, a Faraday bag. My hand went to the 4th button on my shirt and started tapping It discretely.

“How long do you think it will take them to get here?” the Boss asked. He looked at me with a smile that did not reach his eyes. My finger was pressing against the button now, not trying to hide it. “What are you talking about? “I said, trying to keep my voice even. He stood up then, and I could see he was about 6’6” and seemed to be damn near that wide. I took an involuntary step back and bumped into something, make that someone. I started to turn when two massive pairs of hands grabbed my arms and held me in place—the two guards from out front were behind me and holding me in their vice-like grip. The Boss's smile became a grin as he walked toward me.

I sputtered and said a bunch of things that did nothing in the long run. When he stood in front of me, it was like being in the shadow of a giant monolith. Everything seemed small around him—insignificant.  He simply said, “Shhhhhh!” to me, and I quieted.

Turning to the guy with the tablet, he said, “Which one is it?” The tablet tech guy stepped in front, looked me up and down, and stopped at the buttons on the shirt. From somewhere, the tech guy pulled out a big folding knife and snapped it open. I jumped and tried to pull back. The hands holding me tightened painfully on my arms, shoulder, and neck, lifting me to my toes. The beefy tech expertly moves the knife to slide under the 3rd and 4th buttons on my shirt, slicing them off into his hand. Looking at them closely, he turned to the Boss and said, “Camera and emergency transmitter. They look like something Mossad made last year. It's pretty good tech. Not as good as ours, but pretty damn good. We’ve been blocking the signals since he got in the van. The camera is running on local storage since he came into the bar.  As far as they can tell, he disappeared when he left the bar. I’ve been retransmitting a false signal west of the city; they should be trailing him out past Naperville and Westmont about now. “

The massive man smiled genuinely and clapped the tech on his shoulder. “Good job as per usual Al. Lead the signal out toward the compound in western Iowa. You know, those wingnut survivalists the FBI is always looking at. Make it end there for now.”  The tech guy started to walk away, and the Boss said, “Wait, keep this with those.” He lifted the Faraday bag my phone was in, and I watched his gloved hand crumple the metal like it was a beer can. He crushed it once, then casually twisting it in his hand, crushed it again until it resembled a ragged ball of steel and glass.  He handed the bag and demolished phone to Al the tech.

Turning back to me, he leaned over and said, “Listen, I don’t have time to listen to your lies and denials. Then threats. Not only does nobody know you’re here, but they don’t even know who took you. Al will lead them on a nice little electronic goose chase through western Iowa, where they will raid that right-wing survivalist fuckers. When they don’t find you there, your handlers will be at a dead in.”

His big, gloved hand engulfed my chin, and he moved closer, “Right now, my boys here are going to have some fun. They like to pay with their food. Eventually you’ll tell them what I need to know.”  He said. The massive men holding him grunted in agreement. He pulled back with a dangerous smirk, and his big gloved hand patted my face roughly as he turned and walked back over to the bench.

The guy holding me shifted and the one on my left quickly slid his arms under mine and put me in a full nelson. The other guy walked around in front of me and, after rolling his shoulders, slammed his fist into my gut. Then again and again. The guy holding me pulled me up, and I could see the Boss back at his worktable and the Tech guy looking at me. His eyes were watching with lust and need as those guys were working me over. The Boss absently looked up and said, “Fellas, take your fun elsewhere. I’ve got work to do. They replied, “Sure thing, Boss.”  They started dragging me away when the Boss said, “Boys, it’s been a while, so, take your time and enjoy yourselves. Also, take Al with you; you know he likes to watch.”  All three of them said, “Thanks, Boss,” in unison as they dragged me away.

[sports-on-sundays]

this simple feeling / LN4 & OP81 / Part 3

Summary: Lando x female!Australian!McLaren marketing unit worker!reader x childhood best friend!Oscar - Two Formula 1 drivers who just so happen to race for McLaren also just so happen to have fallen for you. Link to part 1, link to part 2

Warnings: I think I might've messed up the timeline just alittle bit but that's okayyyy (probably should have all taken place like a week or two later but I only realized that after it was all written so I guess you'll just have to deal with it; I'm sincerely sorry), language, sickness, vertigo, let me know if there's more I missed

Requested?: To be honest, I don't think so, but let me know if I forgot about you.👍

A handsome smile adorns Lando Norris's lips as he strolls down the Spanish paddock, and it's extraordinary to believe that despite his outside cover, he has the most pounding headache.

It's all my fucking fault, his mind roars as he catches the eye of Max Verstappen walking past and gives him a friendly wave. Y/n is a nervous wreck over the whole situation, and Oscar seems like he's going to blow if he sees me show Y/n affection one more time.

Why did I ever fucking start this stupid, stupid 'relationship?' It's a mess, and it's all my fault.

And I've got no way of fixing it.

Maybe I should have just given up Y/n in the first place, before all this happened.

Maybe I am wrong for getting in the way of her and Oscar.

But a part of him knows that's not right. He could never give you up. You could never give him up. And neither of you could ever give up on Oscar.

Even though it's starting to look like that might just be the best for him. Or at least, the best option at this point.

After I've gone and messed it all up.

For once in his life, sleep won't just take Oscar Piastri.

It sounds stupid, because he shouldn't be going to sleep. Not here. Not now. But as he lay in his driver's room, all he wishes is for sleep to take him away from his never-ending thoughts into a peaceful, sweet, dreamless slumber.

But every time he tries to replace his current ones with new ones, his brain always leads him back to the main point:

You messed up.

He sighs. He's just being over dramatic, isn't he? Isn't that all it is? Shouldn't he just get over himself?

It's not that he doesn't like Lando. In fact, he does. A... well, a lot. He could see himself having real affection towards him.

He might even want to.

But that longing, confused part in his brain keeps coming back to: But what if Y/n loves him more? Isn't he just getting in the way of what you always wanted?

Isn't this unfair, Oscar?

But that's just the worst part of it all.

It's not unfair. Not one bit.

For your whole life, Oscar has known you. For years, he's cared about you. He's even loved you. He just never said it. Always held back. When he shouldn't have.

If he had just acted way before, in the beginning, it would've been just you and him. That's the way it would have been, and Lando would have never gotten in the way.

But, Oscar's brain whispers, almost like a sneaking suspicion, do you really want Lando out of this, now that he's in it?

Maybe I just have to learn to accept it. Accept him. Trust them both.

Do I just need to get over myself?

Because I am the only reason why this isn't working...

Right?

No one else can feel it, but it's getting awkward. Not even so much in private. In private, Lando is honest, and Oscar tries. In private, you see. They're not all lovey dovey, but they care about each other. It's like all is well, though you and Lando both know how Oscar can get.

But in public, it's worse. Terribly worse. It's like Lando and Oscar want to have something, but they can't. It's like Lando wants it but Oscar won't let him... and, at the same time, as if Oscar wants it but Oscar also won't let himself.

Why not?

In public, since they have to fake, it's like it's hard not to. Because they're closer than friends, but not more than that.

In private, they're trying to fake, so it almost comes easier.

But in public, they almost avoid each other at the same time as being super friendly with each other when they do have to talk.

You hate it.

A huge part of you wonders: If Oscar likes Lando back, why doesn't he just relax and let this whole thing work? Doesn't he need it?

Doesn't he need Lando, just the same way I need him?

He certainly acts like it. Sometimes. The only solution you can think of, though a not very clear or perhaps not very accurate one, and one with certainly no answer, is this:

He wants you more than anything. But he needs Lando more than anything.

But because he wants you so bad, it hurts him to see Lando having you.

Though he has you, too.

But he can't let himself break out and let himself love Lando back, because his feelings towards you are so incredibly strong.

You sigh.

Oscar. Why can't you just give up? Give in? Why can't I show you just how much I adore you?

What do I have to do to show you?

Is there anything I can do that would be enough?

You sigh. What if you're all wrong? What if Oscar really can't love Lando back? What if this whole thing is bound to fail?

What if there's absolutely no solution?

As anxiety begins to fill your chest, you feel as though you're right back at square one again.

Why didn't I just choose, from the beginning? Wouldn't it have been better to break one of their hearts, than all three of our hearts?

Because isn't that what is going on right now?

We're all breaking.

And we wouldn't be if I hadn't ever, ever let it get this fair.

Damn it.

It really is all my fault.

Maybe it's all the stress, or maybe it's just the natural way of things, but either way, by the time a week later that the Austrian Grand Prix comes around, you are in no world feeling well enough to go to it.

Of course, that's fine. You're sick; no one will have a problem with you staying home to rest up and get better. There are plenty of other people who can take care of your usual responsibilities for one race weekend. That's not really a big deal at all.

Of course, Lando and Oscar sure treated the whole thing as one, both of them talking about how one of them should stay with you, and how are you going to get on by yourself, and they feel like such bad boyfriends for leaving you in your unwell state, and so on. Blah, blah, blah.

Really, it was the sweetest thing. You know you shouldn't complain. But you did end up telling the two they were both wrong, not to worry, go race, and it's quite easy to FaceTime and stay in touch so they can check up on you over the weekend.

So despite whatever your boyfriends think about it, that's the decision you made sure was made, because there was no way you'd let either of them do something so ridiculous as to miss a race because of you.

Especially not the Austrian Grand Prix, for God's sake.

Well, whether Lando and Oscar would admit it or not, both of them, in their own little ways, see this as an opportunity for connection with each other.

One-on-one.

So now, of course, Lando has been the sole thing, other than racing, that's been on Oscar's mind all weekend. So much so that he finds himself wandering towards Lando's driver's room after qualifying, his heart leading the way more so rather than his head.

When he reaches the door, he finds it ajar, and peeks in through the door frame, his heart pounding.

Why is his heart pounding?

He swallows, his eyes resting on Lando relaxing, scrolling his phone. He hasn't seen Oscar yet.

Lando. There's a lot I like about him.

Let's just try this. Just for now, forget about Y/n. Think about Lando. Think about all the reasons why you care about him. Think about it as if it were just you and him.

Would you want it to work?

He knows the answer, but wouldn't dare let himself consciously think it.

Oscar gently knocks on the door, as to avoid startling Lando, before saying softly, "Hey, Lando?"

The British man immediately looks up, his hazel eyes meeting Oscar's plain old brown ones. Though he doesn't smile, his eyes soften. And brighten. "Hey, Oscar." He sits up a bit, as to make more room on the sofa. "Wanna come in?"

Oscar nods, stepping inside. Gently closes the door behind himself. Somehow, Lando seems to understand.

He sits down. Closer to him. Turns and looks him right in the eyes. Opens his mouth to say something, but then closes it when he realizes he has nothing to say.

Lando talks instead. "How are you?"

"Fine... and you?"

"Good... I think the race should be promising."

Oscar nods in agreement. The silence feels so simply empty.

"You missing Y/n? Is that what it is?" Lando gently asks.

Oscar considers that for a few seconds, before slowly shaking his head 'no.' "Of course, I wouldn't mind her being here. But that's not it."

"What's 'it,' then?" Lando asks.

Somehow, he just knows, doesn't he?

Oscar's starting to see why you might love that about him so much.

"It's not Y/n I'm missing. I guess I'm missing you. And me. I'm missing us."

"Hm," Lando says simply, seeming to ponder that for a few seconds, before saying softly, almost as a dare, "How could you miss 'us,' if 'us' was never a thing?"

Oscar feels the sudden urge to reach out towards Lando. Put his hand on his, or fix that loose curl, or do something.

But he holds back. Like he's always done with you.

God damn it. Am I really doing it again?

What am I even doing?

"I guess..." Oscar murmurs after some hesitation, staring down towards the tiled floor, "I miss the 'us' that could be and should be but never has been."

Oscar feels Lando look up towards him, but continues staring at the floor.

"Look at me."

But Oscar doesn't dare.

That's when Lando gently moves his hand to grab Oscar's chin and force his head to look at him. Not in an overly gentle way, but not in a way that hurts.

Oscar sighs. Those eyes.

When did he start liking them so much?

"We can make that reality," Lando murmurs, in the same determined way he talks about sports, or strategies. "We can make it happen. You don't have to miss me, or Y/n, and we can make 'us' come true."

Oscar gulps. Nods, though he knows not why.

Maybe it's because I really do want it.

I do, don't I?

Us.

Lando reaches over and grabs Oscar's hand strongly. Wraps his hand around the other man's. "This simple feeling..." Lando whispers. "Don't you like it?"

Oscar swallows. "I don't know if I like it, but..."

Lando waits for him to finish, even after he's trailed off.

"...but I think I know that it's exactly what... what I need."

Lando sighs. A little smile even begins to sneak up on his lips, just gently. Softly. Hardly there.

That's when he leans in and pulls him into a hug. And embrace. And it's refuge that Oscar finds there, in his arms. The same kind of irreplaceable refuge he finds in your arms. He sighs, wrapping his arms back around Lando, feeling the warmth of his body around him like a blanket.

"This simple feeling," Oscar murmurs this time, mirroring Lando's words, swallowing, his voice cracking softly, though tears don't threaten to fall.

It's just a little raw.

"This simple feeling... it's exactly what I want. What I need. From both of you.

"It's like I'd be content if we let this last forever," Oscar finishes softly with, close to Lando's ear.

"We can make it last forever," Lando utters back.

And all time stops in that little room as the two men embrace. A cavern of honesty and truth.

A safe place that promises to hold them forever.

It's funny how someone's cares and concerns can be washed away so quickly.

Like, for example, Oscar's podium at the Austrian Grand Prix in 2024, seeing his team grin up at him, spraying the champagne with George and Carlos, the joy of getting second place.

Partially, also, the joy of being the one to score points for the team.

But once that's all done and he's talking and doing all that PR, it starts nagging at him. You're not here, which means Lando's all alone.

Probably fucking pissed off.

P20.

So it's a mix. He got 2nd! But Lando got 20th.

So he tries to get through all the PR gobbly-gook as fast as possible, while still putting on a good face, since he knows you'll particularly care a lot if he screws up all his interviews the one race you weren't able to make it.

As soon as he's set free from his duties, though, he rushes to Lando's driver's room. On the way, someone even grabs his arm, saying, "Oscar! Oscar! An autograph? Please?" but he brushes them off, saying, "If you stay around, I'll be back to give it to you!" before just running off again.

He honestly can't grasp why he's so particularly and intensely desperate to see Lando.

It's because he did something for me last night when I needed him. Now I can't just leave him when he needs me most.

Soon, he reaches the latched closed door and knocks hard, saying, "Lando? Are you in there?"

There's a few moments of silence, and for a moment Oscar's nerves tell him that Lando isn't even here, and that he ignored that fan for no reason at all, until those thoughts are interrupted with Lando responding with a heavy sigh in his voice, "Osc? You can come in."

Oscar sighs with a certain amount of relief before gently opening the door and letting it shut behind him.

Lando is standing, not facing Oscar, on his phone, texting. Head down.

"How're you-"

"Texting Y/n."

Oscar nods, slowly walking up behind him. He gently rests a hand on Lando's shoulder, and says softer, "What's she saying?"

"Everything she has to in order to try and make me feel less like shit."

"Is it working?"

Lando turns, looking over his shoulder back at Oscar with a wry smile, saying, "Not at all. Max is a fucking-"

"Cheater, aggressive driver, idiot, bad sportsman. I know that's everything you're going to say. You just need to blow off some steam, hm?"

Lando snorts, shutting off his phone, hanging his head. "I've had an hour and a half to do that since the race."

"It takes a while," Oscar says simply, giving his shoulder a squeeze.

Lando sighs, nodding. "I know... I guess I'm not even really that mad anymore. Just disappointed. And frustrated."

Oscar nods, glancing away, beginning to slip his hand off Lando's shoulder.

But Lando reaches back, slipping his hand over Oscar's to keep it there, dragging his other hand over his face with a heavy sigh

It's then that Oscar suddenly feels compelled to do something he never thought he would.

Yet he gives in, simply because it feels like exactly the right thing to do in the moment. So he wraps both arms around Lando from behind, pulling him towards himself, letting his nose and lips press against his neck, next to Lando's ear.

Lando sighs in something like contentment.

And Oscar feels himself smiling softly, before it quickly fades off, and he whispers gently in Lando's neck, "You're a good driver. You would've won that race. But I also know that means you'll be able to win the next one, hm?"

Lando nods, sighing. "You're right. I know you're right."

Oscar nods, murmuring, "But you have every right to be upset. And I'll be with you during that working through it as long as you want me to be."

Lando feels an unexpected smile begin to creep up on his face as he mutters, "I want you here with me every single moment you want to be here, Oscar."

"Yeah? It's funny how I've started to like to be with you more."

"I guess that's just my natural charm, hm?" Lando says softly, his smile growing.

Oscar can almost not believe how he naturally chuckles at that and responds softly, "I don't know about that..."

Lando is full on grinning now. That handsome, big, sunny smile of his. "Just ask Y/n about it. She'll tell you all about my charm."

"Hah," Oscar says sarcastically, but for some reason, instead of coldness, like that comment might used to have filled his chest with, he feels an undeniable, affectionate warmth fill his body.

A feeling that he seems to like a lot more.

He just re-wraps his arms around Lando and responds softly, "I'm sure Y/n would tell you all about my charm, too, Lando."

Lando smirks, glancing back at Oscar, meeting the Australian's milk chocolate eyes. "But you don't have to ask Y/n to hear about how charming you are, Oscar. I could talk about that all night." Lando's honestly not sure where all this bravery on his part is coming from, but he's honestly glad for it. Since it seems to be going down well.

Oscar's eyebrows raise as his light complexion becomes slightly flushed. "Hm. You could?"

"Oh yeah," Lando laughs a bit. A beautiful sound. Then the two remain in that peaceful silence, before Oscar lets his hands slip away from Lando gently.

Lando turns, taking the younger man's hand in his, looking earnestly into his eyes. "Hey. Congratulations on your P2, by the way. I was so caught up in my own shit, I completely forgot about your-"

"Don't worry," Oscar says, waving it off. "I don't mind. But thank you, anyway."

Lando grins, leaning in to kiss his cheek and saying simply, "No, thank you, Oscar. Look at the way you've managed to cheer me up like that, huh?"

Oscar smiles at that, his eyes fluttering shut for just a moment, perhaps in something like peace, or trust, for him to murmur, "Not sure how that happened..."

"Guess it's just that charm of yours we previously discussed, huh?"

And Oscar's eyes flutter open just in time to see Lando peck his lips.

And with Oscar's face fire hydrant red and Lando laughs filling the small room, I'll leave it up to the reader to go and imagine what could've happened next.

Oscar and Lando get out of the car, Lando holding some flowers and Oscar a grocery bag of goodies.

"You ready?" Lando says with a little smile, nodding to Oscar.

"Can't wait to see her, despite the poor state she must be in," Oscar says with a nod, and is about to start walking, when he suddenly stops and, with only a moment of hesitation beforehand, holds his hand out to Lando to take.

Lando looks at the hand, before looking up at Oscar again, taking his hand, with a little grin. He gives him a nod, before the two head off towards the house, hand-in-hand.

You're awakened in your feverish state by the ringing of the doorbell. You know you should get up and at least look to see who it is, but at the same time, who could it be? You're not expecting anyone. So you opt for the easier decision to just assume it's something unimportant like the mailman or something and leave it, letting yourself drift back into your feverish half-sleep.

But just as you're about to fully drift back off into slumber, it rings again. You sigh and stand up with an ornery groan, dragging your shaky legs to the window, to peek out of it, to see what on earth is so important.

But you stop as soon as you see them.

Your boys.

Lando holding flowers.

And what's more, they're holding each other's hands.

And they both look completely comfortable with it.

Really? Even Oscar?

He's not that good of an actor!

Soft smiles adorn both their handsome, perfect faces, shining like a charming prince and a shining knight.

Your foggy brain doesn't take the time to consider which is the prince and which is the knight, and you instead rush to the door right away, unlocking it and exclaiming, "Lan! Osc!" You stumble a bit dizzily as your weakened legs threaten to give out, but Lando's arm is there to steady you right away, keeping you from falling.

"Hey, Y/n," Oscar says gently, putting his arm on yours as Lando plants a quick kiss on your forehead, asking, "You okay?"

You sigh, nodding, and saying after the wave of vertigo subsides, "Just still a bit sick."

"No kidding. My God. Let's get you back inside and in your bed," Lando says gently, letting you use his arm to steady yourself as the three of you head inside and to your bedroom.

Once you're there and crawling back into bed, Lando hands Oscar the flowers and says, reaching in the shopping bag, "Got you some chicken noodle soup, Y/n. Want me to make you some?"

"Oh, God," you murmur, sinking back down against the pillow, "Yes, Lando, that'd be great."

He nods and leaves, going off to do that, leaving you with Oscar.

The first thing Oscar does is say, taking the blanket from the bottom of the bed, "Want this on?"

You nod, sniffing up your stuffed up nose. He gently tucks you in, kisses your forehead right where Lando kissed it, and grabs a tissue for you, seemingly out of thin air.

If you weren't a bit feverish, maybe you would of just known he got it out of the shopping bag. But you kind of missed that detail.

"We got you flowers," Oscar says gently, sitting on the edge of the bed, next to you.

You smile softly, leaning up to smell the bouquet, saying weakly, "Aw... that's so lovely... You guys didn't have to."

He smiles softly. "We wanted to treat you. To show you how much we missed you this weekend." He brushes a strand of hair from your forehead, before frowning and murmuring, "You're really warm. Hey, I'll be right back, m'kay?"

You're not sure how long it takes, but in a bit, Oscar comes back to place a cool cloth on your forehead, and puts the flowers, now in a vase, next to you, on your nightstand.

"They're so pretty," you murmur softly, gratefulness to you warm in your voice.

Oscar smiles. "Pretty flowers for a pretty girl."

You smile softly, reaching to take his hand. "I like you like this."

"Like what?" his eyebrows raise.

"All soft. I like that."

He smiles. "Just taking care of you." He leans down and kisses your cheek, saying, "Can I get you anything? A drink? Water, tea?"

"Oh... I think I'm good. But thank you," you weakly smile.

He nods. "Are you comfortable? Do you want a fan, or another blanket, or anything?"

You shrug. "I dunno... Maybe a fan would be nice. There's a big one in the closet. Jus' put it on low."

He nods and immediately heads to do that. Once he's done, he goes straight to the windows, saying, "And the blinds? Are they good the way they are, or should I-"

"Oscar, Oscar," you say softly, giving a lazy wave of your hand. "None of that matter. Not really. I don't really care. Why don't you just stop worrying and running around and taking care of me and doing everything for just a moment and just come and be with me, huh? That's what I want for you to do the most. Just come be with me. Let's just talk, hm?"

Oscar blinks. "Oh. Of course." He nods, making his way across the room. As he settles down on the bed next to you, he says simply, "Sorry."

"Don't worry. I like it. You just need to give yourself a break, too. And I want to talk with you, Osc." You slip your hand in his.

He nods, and after a few seconds murmurs, "Maybe that's just what I want, too."

"See?" you smile softly up at him.

You sit together in silence for a bit, him gently rubbing your hand in his, before you finally think to ask, "So... How... How are things with you and Lando?"

"You noticed a change, didn't you, huh?"

"For the better. Unless I'm imagining. Or you suddenly became an amazing actor in one week."

He smiles, nodding. "Lando, he... I think we worked it out. I worked it out."

"Worked what out?"

"That I love you, and I might just love Lando, and that in order to love one, I've got to love the other."

You stare. "You... You and Lando?"

Oscar nods. "We talked. I think I can make this work now. Let this work. We can let this work."

You smile. "Hm. Really?" you look at him with fluttery eyes.

He shrugs, smiling softly. "I can't just care about myself. That's not what a relationship is about. Nor can I just care about you. Nor can I just care about Lando. It needs to be selfless, you know? We need to be there for each other."

You grin and murmur, "For some reason, Osc, I really wanna kiss you right now, but I'm sick. It's like you've just said what I've been dreaming for you to say for weeks now. Probably months."

He smiles, nodding. "I guess it was bound to happen. I just had some things to work through. And even though I don't even know how, and don't think he does, either, Lando helped me work through them, partially, too... Oh, and by the way, with the kiss thing?" he smiles, leaning down a bit closer, before murmuring, "I'm sure you won't get me sick. You're probably way past being contagious." And with that, he closes his eyes and leans in to kiss you gently.

It's then that Lando walks in and says with that cheeky smile of his, "Hey, lovebirds, can I get in on this? When's it my turn?"

You pull away from Oscar and tease, "Oh, get back in the kitchen!"

"Jeez! I guess I'll just eat your soup, then, if you're going to be like that!"

"Wait! No!" you say, reaching your arms out for the tray in his arms.

He chuckles, placing it in your lap, and says, slipping on the bed next to you, on the opposite as Oscar, "Did you really think I would eat your food?"

"You might..."

He grins. "I might."

"Hey!" you giggle, rolling your eyes.

Lando lays down next to you as Oscar says, "My goodness, Y/n, you're so peppy as soon as Lando enters the room. You were acting so sick before, just a few minutes ago!"

You grin, looking him over with a shrug, "I guess I liked the way you were treating me so softly and delicately. I didn't want you to stop feeling like you had to take care of me. Now, come on. You lay down next to me, too, won't you?"

Oscar smiles and does so, murmuring, "I guess I can't say no, huh?"

You smile, contented, shutting your eyes as you feel the warmth from both of them, on each of your sides, envelop you. "I guess not."

As you eat your soup, your boys snuggle up to you, their arms wrapping around you, and the three of you talk. Mostly about Austria, and then about he upcoming British Grand Prix in less than a week now, which you're sure you'll be healed up enough for, especially since getting there doesn't require any planes or airports. Sometimes, that can be the worst part of travelling to Grand Prixs far away.

Soon, though, you finish your soup, and sink back down into the pillows, letting the tiredness seize your body once more. As you begin to drift off, the last thing you whisper is, "I love you guys..."

On each side, you feel each of their lips gently kiss your cheeks, but you don't stay awake long enough to hear how they respond to that.

Here you are, with your two McLaren boys.

Sure, there'll be rough spots. Lots of them. Something like this doesn't promise to be easy.

But sometimes, the harder path is the better one in the end.

And right now, in this simple moment, it feels perfectly worth it.

Well, maybe perfectly imperfect.

But would you really want it any other way?

This simple feeling...

[rosieuv]

Project: Eden's Garden chapter 1 is so fucking good oh my god

btw spoilers here

go watch the official playthrough

Please.

Okay so ever since I saw the announcement trailer I was like "Diana's going to die first, I can feel it". It was something with her design, and her personality that screamed "early target". So when all that trial stuff was targeted towards her, I assumed it meant this was when she died: still chapter 1 but a bit later.

Now I think she's gonna die in chapter 2 from all that heroic monologuing. I also feel like Wenona's gonna play some kind of big role due to the way she acts. Possibly an antagonist? I'm not sure.

The actual contents of the chapter are long, with the official playthrough's being about 11 hours combined (and you bet I watched them the day they came out this weekend) yet the pacing still feels fine. A lot happens within both daily life, deadly life and the trial and I can in vision a timeline based on what happened on each day/part of day. The tournament thing was cool and how despite the murder not being in the new rooms, the fact that it would be impossible without it made it feel like it actually had a purpose, which I was a bit concerned about when the corpse was in the boiler room.

I wouldn't have guessed Wolfgang was the victim though but it makes so much sense. And Eva being the murderer. That was a whole bag of plot twists and they work very well. The rooms are cool, the concept of the whole locks thing is cool, basically everything is cool and Tozu is more interesting than Monokuma and he's definitely some drama kid that get rejected from the lead role and so some organisation thing that Wolfgang's father made (I swear he's going to be important in the future) and he was basically like "yeah just act all dramatic and stuff and scare the kiddies". Why Wolfgang is in this game though...idk. I feel like his father has to be important though, especially with the message on the back that for some reason took Damon so long to figure out when I figured it out very quickly: Wolfgang's father is an asshole and he is too. His animal is literally a sheep how the hell did he not realise this. I mean, the conversation with Tozu was cool as he doesn't appear often, but like, has Damon ever heard the phrase "Wolf in sheep's clothing?".

Okay here's my nitpicks:

some of the furniture models are a bit low poly which doesn't mesh well with the 2D sprites

3D textures are weird in places (Wolfgang's chair is the worst offender of this)

the line width is a bit thin in some of the new sprites and it bugs me because the artstyle typically has quite thick lines

this book is never shaded

the Damon thing I mentioned earlier

this bug in the trial where it fades out to show some kind of floor plan, and Damon is talking, but when the UI fades back in, for a split second it shows the mugshot of whoever was speaking before the fade thing (I can't find where this happens in the official playthrough but I swear it's real)

nobody realising the "thin bit of metal" was a hairpin until it was brought up as a lockpick in the trial like i realised that immediately

does Eva have a game console or a tablet? Pre-trial and at the start of the trial it was called a game console but towards the end when it was relevant, it was called a tablet? I can't find an image of it as the wiki doesn't have a gallery page for her (idk why) but I remember it looked like a DS from it's lid

there's only like 4 minigame section things in the trial: non stop debate, rebuttal showdown, the choosy one and the ending one. where's the letter one? i know there's more and i know this is probably so the programmers don't shoot themselves in the head, but still.

when did they have lunch during the last day? there was the tournament, the blackout, the investigation and then the trial and that was all about 5 hours going based on gameplay so if the investigation was at 9:45 ish and the trial ended 5 hours later, then it should be 2:45 and these poor people are starving! Well, idk about them all but Damon certainly didn't stop investigating to make lunch.

there's little inconsistencies with the art style/quality of the image in the CGs. The ending one with Diana sticks out the most to me: the lineart and shading look a little different. It's like a different artist from the rest drew it.

Okay more praise:

grace pulling the middle finger in her objection sprite

wenona

the music made by mark having a danganronpa motif in

the dummy thing in the execution

the whole scene where eva's true talent is revealed and her "oh shit" sprite

all the voice acting

the maths equipment in the execution

the thing with the calendars and the horses joke at the beginning

eva's free time events (it was shown in the playthrough)

the scenes with Tozu at the beginning of each day

the tree animation is sick

the thing with the footsteps

the thing with the blackout

everyone screaming one by one when they see the body

the beginning

the middle

the end

all those biblical references

Tumblr is going to have a field day with this game.

[semper-legens]

132. Running Close to the Wind, by Alexandra Rowland

Owned: No, library Page count: 433 My summary: Avra Helvaçi has a problem. He's in possession of the world's biggest secret - the formula that wards off the sea serpents that swarm the shipping lanes in this season. If he can find a buyer, he could sell it for a fortune. If he can find a buyer. He thinks he's got a chance with his ex, pirate captain Teveri az-Haffar. Who hates him, currently. And to make matters worse, the statuesque and perfect Brother Julian has eyes on him - a shame about Julian's vow of chastity. No, despite being blessed by luck, Avara always finds himself in the wrong place at the wrong time. Will he survive his brush with the seas once again? My rating: 5/5

This book. Hoooooooooooo boy. This book. I picked it up for reasons that, if you know me at all, are entirely obvious. Pirates! Magic! Fraught relationships! Characters sparking off each other on the high seas! And when I cracked it open, I…gotta say, I was not expecting what I got. This book is silly, it's horny, it's absolutely ridiculous and very much not for everyone. I spent most of the first quarter of it unsure whether I liked it or not. But by the end, I couldn't help it. I was invested. Something about this silly, silly book drew me right in, and I was absolutely hooked. Gotta hand it to the author, they really know how to keep things interesting, and by the end I was completely sold on this world and these characters and everything going on. What can I say, it's a pirate's life for me!

So, like I said, this book is silly. And yet, there's still a grounding in reality that is much appreciated. For example, a large part of the plot is that the sea is impassable at certain times of year because sea serpents are breeding - typically referred to in crude terms. Characters angsting about not being able to traverse the giant fuckpiles of sea serpents is, in itself, funny! But the danger they pose is real, and the consequences of trying to sail is grave for the characters. The pirates have an annual cake contest which is the most serious business in the world to them, and once the narrative begins exploring that, the reader understands it on a deep level. It's not silly no-consequences land, characters that are under threat of pain or death are still under serious threat. There's just fuck serpents and horny ghosts and spooky dentists and spooky dildos, too.

Our main character is Avra, an ex-spy who was supremely bad at his job and is also the ex of Teveri, longsuffering pirate captain. Avra has stolen a secret that might be the reason how one of the countries can get through the sea serpents, but he doesn't know how to use it, and he's hardly in anyone's good graces. That's what being a silly little s1ut will do for you. He's honestly delightful - his manner of speaking and the repetitive nature of his toadying and weaselling his way out of trouble might be grating to some, but I enjoyed him immensely. Tevari's stoic, no-nonsense, gruff mien provides a great foil for Avra. I like that they have some kind of Tragic Past, but that the narrative decides it isn't the focus and, while it sometimes comes up, doesn't spend too much time mining it for angst points. And I like that Tevari isn't humourless! They just tend towards the sarcastic rather than the silly, balancing Avra and some of the other characters perfectly. Rounding out our protagonists is Julien, a monk of unparalleled hotness, who provides the heart of this story. He's sincere, he's heartfelt, and he's passionate about his convictions, which is interesting to see for his character archetype. I think he wound up my favourite, just for his antics around the cake contest.

For a book that's so, so deeply h0rny, I'm legitimately impressed with how well I, a sex-repulsed ace, could get along with it. The conclusion that I have reached is that it is horny but not necessarily erotic, which is a huge distinction for me. Characters have sexualities and wants and desires, but they have other facets to them too, and actual sex is more of a punchline than a Drama. Sex seems to be quite casual in this world, at least among the pirates, and that goes a good way towards establishing this fact. What else? I liked that the book committed to its premise and its worldbuilding. I really enjoyed how a lot of the names and cultures seemed more Arabic-inspired than European - Europe is often seen as the default model for fantasy worlds, but there's a wealth of history in literally every other continent too! Overall, this was just fun. I loved it, and I'd highly recommend it.

Next, an island full of magical children faces down the government.

Editor's note: the author uses they/them, which I didn't know when first writing this, so I've sneakily corrected a pronoun or two!

[brummiereader]

@mischievouslittlecreature Lizzie, please stop 😩...

Another chapter that has me raging internally at Lizzie's misplaced superiority in Tommy's life and Arrow House 😤. She's never gonna give it a rest, is she?

My heart broke for Lucy when she was watching them during their boardgame. I hate how she misinterprets those moments she sees between them for a happy family 😭.

As Lucy watched, Lizzie’s hand came to rest on Tommy’s thigh, her long, pale fingers inching towards brushing against his. Arghhh, Tommy! Why didn't he swat her hand away 🤦🏼‍♀️?? This was such a crushing scene for her to have to witness. No fucking wonder she feels the way she does all the time!

His eyes widened, and she heard him call her name softly but she pretended not to hear, walking briskly towards the stairs. Immediately she felt bad. It was not her intention to make him feel guilty for prioritizing his family over her. Am I cruel? I feel like I'm cruel, but I want him to feel guilty for this. Lucy has drawn the short straw ever since his major fuck up. And Lucy is his family too 😭!

The next part with Lizzie, enraged me! I can't believe she "changed her mind" which I believe wasn't her having a change of heart but her playing her next move in her endeavour to have Tommy all to herself. I'm genuinely starting to think that that was her plan all along, because she agreed to this arrangement far to quickly for someone that has shown so much hate towards everything.

Yeah, well, she would never pull this kind of shit on me in the first place. She bends over backwards to make you happy and comfortable and all you do is treat her like garbage.” - Tommy rounded on her. “Stop making it out to be more than it was! We fucked in a dark dirty canal while I was thinking of someone else. That’s all.” FINALLY! He's telling her how it is! I know this was a pretty hurtful and a harsh thing for him to say, but I feel like she needed to hear it. She's deluded herself into believing that that quick shag was more than what it was, and that's exactly where she went wrong with it all.

Arghh 👌🏼😍!! Their reunion sex was so hot! You had me at this line 🥴... He froze, slowly lifting his face to look at her. “Feel,” he took her hand, sliding it down to cup his crotch, where his cock was already bulging in his slacks. His fingers flexed around hers, encouraging her to squeeze slightly around him. “Feel how much I still want you, Lucy.” I'm weak 😩! I can't explain to you how sultry how steamy this was. I live for these moves he makes. It exudes that confident, passionate side to him I love to see between him and Lucy.

Don’t stop,” he half begged once they separated for air. His mouth dropped open, breathing heavily and letting her hear him as he drew closer to his climax. Another hot line! Them kissing is enough to have them both falling over the edge...I love it 🥴!

It's honestly a relief to see Lucy just relax for once 😂. He's the one that stops that constant nagging of thoughts in her head, and he's the only one that can reassure her enough for her to understand that she will always be his only girl! I just wish Lizzie would get the memo. Hopefully she did after hearing some hard truths from Tommy!

I'm on edge as much as Lucy with Lizzie's yo-yo cattiness 🙈. It's so hard to see her step around her bratty behaviour like she's a guest in Lizzie and Tommy's house. And as much as they were able to open up and clear the air in this scene, Lizzie still opened with this line...“And yet you’re not going to stop doing it.” she agreed to this arrangement !! I swear I'm gonna be pulling my hair out by the time this season ends 😬! Imagine if Lucy turned around and said "Well, you spoiled mine and Tommy's fun when you got knocked up"?? Tommy was never hers to begin with, and it's like she's playing the betrayer wife or something. It's so hard to understand the way her brain works 🤦🏼‍♀️!

Ok so we left on a better note with Lizzie, for now 😬. But it never lasts long. Can we have Dian make an entrance so Lizzie can turn her vengeance to her and give Lucy a break 😂? Maybe having a common enemy will do the trick 🤭?

Amazing as always hun! Excited to read more 😍.

Part 22: This Misery We've Made

Summary: Tommy has to make a choice of which woman he will pledge himself to.

Word Count: 7,520

Warnings: Jealousy, depression, smut, and infidelity (sort of).

Notes: I am so sorry for the high word count of this chapter. I just couldn't find a good place to break it in two. Tommy's a bit of an idiot here, but he is trying.

Thank you to everyone who has read this fic! I have been absolutely blown away by the reception it has gotten. If you enjoyed this and are looking for more like it, I am planning to post another fic set in this same timeline that takes place during season 5, and manages to be somehow even more angsty than this one. So keep your eyes open for that if you're interested!

Previous Chapter • Series • Fic • Next Part

Chapter 5: Promises

“Miss. Winters.”

Lucy looked up, startled out of the sharp focus she’d been concentrating onto the papers in front of her. Frances was standing there near her desk, peering at her from over the tray of steaming food clutched in her hands. 

“Mr. Shelby wanted me to bring this for you. He didn’t want you to go hungry.”

Lucy frowned, capping her pen and setting it aside. Grabbing a stack of papers, she moved them out of the way to make room on her desk for the tray. “They’re having dinner?”

“Yes, Miss. They were just finishing, I think.”

“Oh. I didn’t know.”

Frances frowned. “Mrs. Shelby told me that you were working and wouldn’t be able to eat with them this evening.”

“Ah.” That made sense, then. Frances stuttered. 

“I’m sorry if there’s been a miscommunication…”

“It’s alright. Don’t worry about it,” Lucy waved away her apologies. “Thank you for bringing the tray.”

Frances nodded, and departed from the room. Fingertips rubbing together, Lucy glanced over at the plate on her desk. Piled upon it was a filet of salmon, some potatoes, and steamed vegetables. Picking up the fork, she picked idly at the fish, flaking it but bringing only a few mouthfuls to her lips. Her appetite was nonexistent.

Something in Lizzie had changed. That much was clear. Whatever warmth or amiable attitude towards her and the arrangement they’d agreed upon prior to the wedding had evaporated. She must have changed her mind about being okay with Tommy remaining involved with her. Or maybe this was her plan all along; to get Tommy legally bound to her and then push Lucy out. 

She could not say for how long she sat there, staring into space and picking at her food. When she looked up at the clock, it was to find that it was a lot later than she’d expected. Fucking hell, had it really been that long since she’d watched Tommy and Lizzie depart with the children for their picnic? 

Pushing away from her desk, she made her way out of her office with mechanical movements. In her mind, she debated whether or not she should even try to seek out Tommy wherever he was in the massive house. Probably with his wife. Enjoying their time together. 

She’d just leave them be, she decided, taking the route towards the stairs to head to bed. He clearly didn’t want to see her, considering it had been hours and he hadn’t even stopped by her office after they got back from their outing. She’d hate to pop their happy little bubble more than she already had.  

On her way to the staircase she passed by the library. The door leading inside was slightly cracked open, revealing a sliver of golden light. From within, she caught snippets of chatter and laughter. Footsteps coming to a stop, she stared at the wooden door, the feeling of being left out sitting like a rock inside her chest. 

Unable to stop herself, despite knowing it would only cause her pain, she shuffled forward to peek through the small crack between the doors.

Tommy, Lizzie, and Charlie were all crowded around a table, playing a board game together. Tommy and Lizzie were seated next to each other on a couch, both laughing at something Charlie must have done during his turn. As Lucy watched, Lizzie’s hand came to rest on Tommy’s thigh, her long, pale fingers inching towards brushing against his. 

 A crushing sensation squeezed harshly at Lucy’s heart. She took a staggering step back, hoping to escape before any of them spotted her, but Tommy’s eyes lifted before she could fully dart out of view from the doorway. Maybe he had sensed her there. Or maybe it was just her movement in the corner of his eye that caught his attention. 

“Lucy?” he straightened, and the way that the small smile that had been playing on his lips as he watched his wife and child fell just about killed her. It felt like she’d burst in on a private moment that she had no business being a part of. As if with just her presence alone she had ruined all the fun and joy he was experiencing. 

“I was just going to bed,” she said, so that they knew that she had no intention of intruding further. “So, erm…goodnight.” 

“Goodnight, Lucy,” Charlie said, despite most of his concentration being focused on moving his piece across the board. Lizzie said nothing, but Tommy scrambled to his feet, crossing the room to her before she could back away. 

“Hey,” he spoke gently, taking her gently by the arm. “I’m sorry. Frances said you were busy, and Charlie wanted to play–”

“It’s fine.”

He blinked, concern filling his eyes. “Love–”

“It’s late,” she shrugged him off. “I’m going to bed.”

“Dad, it’s your turn!” Charlie called. Lucy started to retreat away. So that he could return to his family.  

Tommy tried to reach out for her again. “I’ll be there in just a minute.”

Pausing, she looked back at him. “It’s fine if you don’t.”

His eyes widened, and she heard him call her name softly but she pretended not to hear, walking briskly towards the stairs. Immediately she felt bad. It was not her intention to make him feel guilty for prioritizing his family over her. The breaths leaving her lips turned shaky. Hands stuffing into her pockets, her head bowed, she began the walk through the winding halls to her room. Tucked far in the back of the house, away from the main apartments, where hardly anyone ever wandered. 

Hidden out of sight, out of mind. She wondered if he knew she had moved rooms. And if he did, if he knew where she was. 

If he would even try to come looking for her.   

∗ ∗ ∗

“Alright, Charlie, mate, it is well past your bedtime,” Tommy said, gesturing to Frances who was hovering by the door, ready to take him up to his room.

“Aw, c’mon, just one more round!” Charlie whined. 

“Yes, Tommy, just one more,” Lizzie agreed, smiling around her cigarette. Tommy narrowed his eyes at them. 

“I don’t know if I like this with you two ganging up on me.”

They both smiled innocently. 

“Pleaseeeeeeeeeeee,” Charlie begged. Tommy chuckled, ruffling his hair fondly. 

“I’ve had a long day, son. I’m tired. Maybe tomorrow, eh?”

Charlie pouted a little, but relented, saying goodnight to both him and Lizzie before taking Frances’s outstretched hand and letting her lead him away.

“Right,” wedging his cigarette between his lips, Tommy eyed the door that led out to the main staircase eagerly. Anxiety constricted within his chest.  

It’s fine if you don’t.

God, he was such a fucking shit. He should have gone after her immediately, or at the very least invited her to join them. But she had practically run away from him before he could get the chance. 

The day was almost over, and he had barely gotten to spend any time with her. 

“I’m going to bed. If you need anything, just pull the cord in your room and a maid will come around.”

“Tommy, wait!” Lizzie’s voice was strained with agitation, her eyes suddenly frantic. “Why don’t…why don’t we go for a walk on the grounds?”

Tommy took a long drag from his cigarette, eyes narrowing. “Lizzie, it’s dark out.”

“B-but we could–”

“Lizzie,” he wasn’t shouting, but his voice was firm, stopping her in her tracks before she could say any more. “Enough. I know what you’re trying to do. And you need to stop.”

Her jaw clenched, and while anger entered her face, the desperation in her eyes did not cease. “I just…I thought…”

He sighed, turning to face her fully. “You knew what this arrangement was going to look like,” he was mindful to keep his voice calm, not wanting to be unkind. It was understandable that she might struggle with it all at first. But that didn’t mean that he was going to suddenly go back on all the promises he’d made to Lucy. “I gave you a whole week in Paris. I need to go back to her now.”

“No, you don’t.” She rose to her feet, going to him and resting her hands on his arm. 

“Lizzie, this is what you agreed to–”

“I changed my mind,” she blurted out. Tommy stared at her, lips half parted, eyes wide. Horror twisted deeply in his chest. No. Oh, God, no, Lizzie, for fuck’s sake…

Of course he had known that this was a possibility, but after he and Lucy worked so hard to double and triple check that Lizzie was alright with their arrangement, and to impress upon her how things were going to be, he had hoped she would have known better than to hope for more than what he was explicitly offering her. 

He felt his features harden. “Well, I haven’t.”

Lizzie’s features twitched. He could see her trying to keep her vulnerability hidden behind a facade of sternness, but there were cracks forming in the mask. Especially in her eyes.

“We agreed to a very specific type of marriage, Lizzie. Just because you’ve decided to go back on that, doesn’t mean that I have any obligation towards you.”

Her eyes narrowed. “The rings on our fingers and our marriage license say otherwise.”

“For fuck’s sake,” he rubbed a hand across his eyes. “How many times did we ask if you were alright with the deal we were presenting you with, huh? Are you fucking kidding me, Lizzie!?” He pulled back, shaking her hands off of him and half turning away from her. A headache was starting to build behind his eyes. When he looked back at her it was to find Lizzie watching him, hands playing with the buttons on the front of her dress. There was still a tendril of hope in her eyes. 

“What do you want from me?” he asked defeatedly. Lizzie swallowed, lifting her chin and squaring her shoulders.

“I don’t want you to see her ever again.”

He shook his head. “That’s never going to happen. I’m not leaving her, Lizzie. Not ever. I don’t know how many more times I have to tell you that before you understand–”

“You would never treat her like this!” Lizzie exploded, the mask she’d been trying to keep carefully in place over her features shattering. Bitterness laced her voice as she spat the words out. “If it was the other way around, you would do what she asked of you in a heartbeat!”

He winced at the truth in her words. She was right. He would always prioritize Lucy’s desires. It wasn’t fair to Lizzie. She deserved better. But for fuck’s sake, she knew all of this going into things. It wasn’t like they’d pulled a blindfold over her eyes and tricked her into marrying him with promises of more than what he could offer. He had been as upfront as he knew how on what a marriage to him would be like for her. 

She said she was okay with it. Had she been lying? Had she intended to trap him all along? Or did she think she could handle things only to realize that she was in over her head after the fact? Or was she still that delusional to believe that he would somehow have a change of heart once the rings went on and the honeymoon was finished?

“Yeah, well, she would never pull this kind of shit on me in the first place. She bends over backwards to make you happy and comfortable and all you do is treat her like garbage.”

Shame entered Lizzie’s face, head dipping to stare down at the floor while her arms wrapped around herself. 

“It’s not personal.”

“You hate her.” He accused, feeling his own resentment and bitterness begin to burn in his eyes. 

“No, I don’t! But she has you and it’s not fair! I’ve been in your life longer. We created a child together—”

Tommy rounded on her. “Stop making it out to be more than it was! We fucked in a dark dirty canal while I was thinking of someone else. That’s all.”

Lizzie’s eyes widened and grew glassy with tears, and he immediately felt bad. But God, he didn’t know how else to make her understand…

Silence hung heavily between the two of them

“Tommy, I love you,” Lizzie said in a quiet voice. He could hear the hope in it still. For fuck’s sake, woman, he thought, closing his eyes. In his head, he debated whether or not to tell her that she didn’t. That you couldn’t love someone who you didn’t really know. Who you didn’t understand.

He opened his eyes, and forced himself to meet her hopeful gaze. “I’m sorry.” He saw something in Lizzie crack at the words, but forced himself to go on, despite the self loathing he felt for hurting her. “I love Lucy. If you’re forcing me to choose between you two, it’s going to her, Lizzie. It always will be. That does not mean you aren’t important, or unwelcome here. We want you and the kids here with us. We already have an arrangement sorted out. One you agreed to, remember? And we’re willing to make adjustments and compromises here and there, within reason. But I love her and that isn’t going to change. It’s up to you if you can make peace with that or not.”

“And if I can’t?”

“Then we need to talk about other options.”

She looked at him as if he’d just hit her. 

Swiping a hand across his brow, brushing his fringe to the side, he shifted from foot to foot, suddenly feeling the need to try to somewhat soften the blow. “Look, give it some time before you make a decision. Let yourself get adjusted. It might not be as bad as you think.”

The clock on the mantle chimed. Lizzie was still hugging herself, looking seconds away from tears.    

“I have to go,” Tommy said. “I promised her.” He looked deep into Lizzie’s eyes, begging her to understand. But she said nothing, just staring at him with wounded, hate-filled eyes. He sighed. There was nothing really left to be said. As he walked past her to get to the door, he reached out to touch her arm. “I’m sorry.”

She winced away from his touch, turning her back to him. Tommy felt his heart sink at her pain but kept on moving, figuring that it might be better to leave her alone. 

He went to the library door, opening and stepping through it. Right before he closed it behind him, he heard the sounds of Lizzie starting to cry.

His hand hovered over the doorknob, considering, and then retracted, slipping back into his pocket. With hasty footsteps he retreated away from the library, heading towards Lucy. And away from the sounds of Lizzie’s heartbreak.

∗ ∗ ∗

Lucy stared at herself miserably in the mirror. Hands flexing into fists against the tabletop of the vanity, she was half tempted to smash the reflection of the pathetic, pale, ugly girl staring back at her. She had finished wiping off her makeup, scrubbing perhaps a tad too aggressively at the sensitive skin of her face. And then she’d caught herself fluffing at her hair and adjusting the lay of her lacy red nightgown, and felt so damn stupid. What was the point? He wasn’t coming.

Lizzie had obviously changed her mind about being alright with everything. And maybe Tommy had too. It was over. 

Her eyes squeezed shut painfully at the thought, hands bracing on the edges of the basin in front of her until her knuckles turned white. How ridiculous she felt, to have ever thought that the arrangement they’d made with Lizzie would work. 

Should she start packing her things now, or wait until he gave her the official order to get out of his house?

She opened her eyes, wiping at her nose with the back of her hand and sniffling, swallowing down tears. It was amazing just how quickly everything had fallen apart.

Unable to stand looking at herself any longer, she abandoned the sink to shuffle her way into the bedroom. 

Golden light from the lamps set on the two nightstands on either side of the bed illuminated the room. Shivers wracked down Lucy’s spine from a chill that she was pretty sure was the result of a draft somewhere by the window. The staff had tried to keep the layout of the room the same as it had been in her previous quarters, but everything was just more cramped in the smaller space. Lucy was suddenly struck with a stab of claustrophobia; the feeling settling nauseatingly alongside the tightness of unshed tears already in her throat. 

Rubbing at her forehead, she took a step towards the bed, just reaching for the sash on her dressing gown to remove it when the door opened. 

Tommy’s expression was tightened with stress and exhaustion when he first stepped into the room, but it softened when his eyes landed on her. Features relaxing, a small smile found its way onto his face while he closed the door behind him with a soft click.

“Took me a while to find you. I had to ask Frances what room you were in.” He took a step forward, head cocking. “What are you doing all the way out here in this part of the house? No one comes to this wing much except for the maids.”

“Lizzie moved me here. She had the servants switch around my things during the wedding and reception.”

He frowned, inching even closer to her, eyes taking in the dimly lit bedroom. “You don’t have to stay in this room just because she says so.”

“It’s fine. It might be for the best that she and I aren’t that close to each other anyway.”

He reached out and touched her face, angling her head up so she was looking at him rather than the floor. His thumb traced the shape of her lips, eyebrow quirking slightly. “You didn’t think that I would come.” It wasn’t an accusation or a question, just a simple statement. Lucy shrugged.

“She seemed very intent on keeping you with her.”

“I made you a promise.”

“You’ve made promises to her too.”

His head tilted. “I’d rather keep the ones I’ve made to you.” 

He made a move to kiss her, palms coming to rest on her hips, but she stopped him with a hand on his chest. Her eyes searched his face, not even entirely sure what she was looking for. 

“Are you sure you want to do this?” she asked, voice suddenly very hoarse. 

“Do what?”

She looked at him sadly. “Cheat on your wife.”

He frowned. “I’m not sure if what we’re doing really counts as cheating…”

“I doubt Lizzie sees it that way.”

His gaze lowered, thumbs beginning to rub circles into her waist. “She just needs time to adjust.”

“Tommy, she’s changed her mind. It’s obvious. She wants a real marriage with you.”

“That’s her problem. We both did our part to make sure that she knew what she was signing up for. She really has no leg to stand on if she’s shocked about it now.”

“Was she upset when you left to come see me?”

He didn’t answer, gaze darting away again.

“She was, wasn’t she?”

“That’s not your responsibility.”

“My presence is the reason she’s getting her heart broken–”

“No.” Something sharpened stubbornly in his eyes, his grip tightening on her. “Don’t you dare try to put responsibility for Lizzie’s bad decision making onto yourself. She knew I wasn’t going to stop being with you. And she agreed to marry me anyway. That was her choice. We didn’t force her into it.” He cupped her face urgently. “It isn’t your fault if she’s miserable.”

“It’s hard not to feel like it isn’t…” 

“I know. I know. But love…even if you weren’t a factor at all, I doubt that I would be faithful to Lizzie.” He shot her a sheepish look. “I don’t love her. At least not the way that she wants me to. If anyone’s to blame for her unhappiness, it’s me. Not you.”

She smoothed her hands along his chest, leaning forward until her forehead rested between his pecs. Tommy embraced her tightly, rubbing her back.

“I thought you might’ve changed your mind too,” she mumbled. He drew back only far enough to look into her eyes. That stubbornness that she’d grown so fond of, despite how exasperating it sometimes was, had taken root in his blue irises. 

“I’m not going to change my mind. I’m not going to leave you or stop loving you.” Up and down, his thumb stroked across her cheek while his palm cradled it. His face was so close that she could feel the warmth of his breaths on her skin. The stubbornness in his eyes had transformed into earnestness. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Her bottom lip started to tremble, and her voice broke on her next words. “But maybe there’s no room for me…”

“Of course there is. Of course there is; there will always be room for you in my life.”

“Tommy,” she sighed, feeling as though the weight of the world was resting upon her. The guilt so encompassing she felt that it might swallow her whole. “You have other priorities now. You have a wife and children. I can’t…”

His brows furrowed, eyes turning stern. “If you’re asking me to not make you a priority, that isn’t something that I can do,” he shifted closer, wiping a stray tear she hadn’t even realized had rolled down her cheek. “You’ll always be a priority to me.”

“I can’t ask that of you.”

“You don’t have to ask. I’m giving it to you anyway.”

She lifted both hands to rest on his face, throat constricting hard with emotion at his words. One of Tommy’s large palms landed on top of hers, squeezing her hand. Face turning, he pressed a kiss to the center of her palm. Then he tipped his head down, so their foreheads could touch. A few more tears leaked from her eyes.

“This has been harder than I thought it would be.”

His strong hands pressed into the middle of her back, encouraging her to press herself closer to him. “Yeah,” he agreed, then looked away, clearing his throat. Lucy frowned at the change of expression in his eyes, something ashamed and deeply guilty entering them. 

“Tommy?”

“I feel like I’ve been unfaithful to you.” 

“What? Love, no…I said it was okay.”

He breathed in deeply. “Still. It was awful without you being there.”

Her thumb stroked the length of his cheek, raising up on her toes to get closer to him. “You didn’t betray me,” she said, lips almost ghosting over his. Tommy pressed himself even more firmly against her, leaning forwards and kissing the tears that still lingered on her cheeks. He raised his face enough to brush his nose with hers. 

“You’re not upset with me?”

“No, of course not. I was just scared you might change your mind about us, that’s all.”

His eyes softened, hands caressing her. “I would never. I love you.”

She drew in a shaky breath. “I love you too.”

He kissed her tenderly, lips at first only brushing over hers before pressing more firmly, hands gripping her tighter. She sighed into his mouth, lips parting to him, arms coiling around his neck. When his kisses migrated from her lips to her neck, and his hands started to palm at her needily, she let out a small, desperate sound, latching onto his shoulders while he started to fumble with the strings at the back of her nightgown. 

“Oh, I missed you,” he whispered, kisses growing more urgent against her skin. “Let me show you how much I missed you.”

She could only moan softly and tilt her head back as he pressed his lips to her chest, right under her clavicle. Fingers fumbling with the buttons holding his waistcoat closed, all the while she let him pull her nightgown from her body. His hands moved to help her in undressing him, shedding all his upper layers and drawing her back into the circle of his arms.  

He purred when his hand slipped up from her waist to cup one of her bare breasts, her breath hitching at his thumb running across her nipple. 

“My beautiful girl,” he tucked his face into her neck, kissing from behind her ear all the way down the column of her throat. “Come here,” he murmured, as if she were not already pressed flush against him. But his hands still tried to draw her in even closer.

Her chest tightened, fingers stroking along the back of his head. “You know, I was worried for a while that you didn’t want me anymore.”

He froze, slowly lifting his face to look at her. “Feel,” he took her hand, sliding it down to cup his crotch, where his cock was already bulging in his slacks. His fingers flexed around hers, encouraging her to squeeze slightly around him. “Feel how much I still want you, Lucy.”

A moan shivered from her lungs, lips parting so that when his mouth descended on hers, his tongue entered her mouth with ease. He kissed her harder, a hand on the back of her neck while the other curled over her hip, beginning to walk her backwards towards the bed. He moaned deeply while she palmed him through his trousers, hips twitching.

She let him press her back onto the bed, him taking but a moment to unfasten his trousers and slip them and his underwear off before joining her. He crawled on top of her, slotting himself between her legs and kissing her hungrily. Lucy cradled his jaw in her hand, nuzzling at him while he explored her mouth before beginning to move down her body, spending time palming and sucking on her breasts, tracing the scars that marked her body with his lips, and then seeking out her cunt with his mouth and thick fingers. With clever, practiced movements he coaxed her into arching her back and gripping his hair, thighs twitching in response to his movements.

Maybe it was selfish, or signified something else wrong with her, but any and all guilt–or thought at all, for that matter--regarding Lizzie vanished the second that he kissed her. It was wondrous, really, how she could feel so inconsequential and insecure one moment, only for those feelings to almost entirely evaporate when he touched her. 

Terrible as it may have been, her guilt for what she was doing to Lizzie did not outweigh the desire, love, and loyalty she held for him.

She cried out when he added a second finger inside of her, crooking it and pumping rhythmically while his tongue toyed with her clit. Her nails scraped against his scalp while her head fell back against the pillows, thighs twitching. All it took was a strategic curling of his fingers inside her, and she came with a hoarse cry. 

Perhaps it was good that they were tucked away in such a far corner of the house. At least they didn’t need to worry about being quiet. 

Tommy brought her down from her high gingerly, withdrawing his fingers and pecking her inner thighs before rising up onto his arms, hovering over her. He wetted his lips, dark tendrils of hair falling across his forehead, pretty blue eyes wide and gazing down at her softly. He was so beautiful it nearly made her want to weep, stunned that someone so gorgeous would ever even consider wasting their time on her.   

As if reading her mind, he smoothed a hand over her hair, cupping the side of her face and drawing their foreheads together. “You’re perfect,” he said, eyes roving over her, dropping his weight onto her. Not enough to crush her beneath him, but enough so that she could feel every inch of his torso pressing into her. “I don’t deserve you.”

Her brows drew in on each other. “Yes, you do.”

The look he gave he was affectionate yet somber. She stretched her head up to kiss him. 

“You do,” she insisted. “I love you. I don’t want anyone else but you.”

“I love you too,” he said hoarsely, burying his face in her shoulder, hissing as he reached down to guide his cock to her entrance. “I’ll always love you.”

She drew in a harsh breath as he sank into her, filling her completely with a singular deep thrust. Tommy made a sound of intense relief, face nuzzling deeper into the crook of her neck. Lucy latched onto him tightly, a sharp mewl leaving her lips, solace washing over her potently once they were fully joined. Hand seeking out hers, he entwined their fingers together as he started to move.

The thrusts he gave her were slow and deep, grunts and praises passing his lips against the shell of her ear. Lucy clung to his back, legs wrapping around him. Her head was, finally, blissfully empty of any and all thoughts save for the pleasure he was giving her. All she knew was the heavy comfort of him on top of her, and the stretch of his large cock fitting snugly inside her. 

“Tommy…” she spoke without really being aware that her lips were moving. “My Tommy…”

“Yours, all yours…” he agreed, still moving. Her eyes rolled in her head at a particularly deep thrust, trying to comprehend how in the hell she had managed to survive a whole week with him. Without this.

They belonged together; and their bodies knew it. Their coupling was as natural as breathing. His pelvis ground into her clit, making her see stars, and when she pulled his hair to lift his face from where he was sucking marks into her neck, he growled. Instantly, he knew what she wanted, kissing her open mouthed and desperate.

“Don’t stop,” he half begged once they separated for air. His mouth dropped open, breathing heavily and letting her hear him as he drew closer to his climax. Hips moving half frantically to meet each of his thrusts, Lucy scratched her nails down his shoulders, legs tightening around his waist. 

She teetered on the edge, wobbling like a trinket about to fall off the edge of a desk. Her walls squeezed and fluttered around him in warning, and when he reached between them to brush his thumb across her clit, she howled and clung to him for dear life. The barely-there touch was enough to send her careening off over the edge completely. Eyes rolling in her head, back arching, ankles pressing down harder into the small of his back, she came violently.   

Tommy shouted, grabbing onto her hard enough to bruise, but that was okay. She was holding onto him just as tightly. His cock twitched, then throbbed hard, and a contented moan emitted from low in his chest as he started to cum right after her.  

He thrusted a handful more times, prolonging both their orgasms and spilling languidly into her before coming to a stop, face pressed into her shoulder, back heaving up and down with exertion. Lucy realized that they were both covered in a thin sheen of sweat. Had they really been going at it that hard? She had been too lost in having him again to notice. 

She wrapped her arms around his back, nuzzling at the side of his head while they both caught their breath. He was trembling a little against her, face turning to kiss her shoulder a few times before pulling out and moving to lay beside her.

It fully hit her then. Seeing him return to filling the space that for the past week had been left vacant was enough to do it. He had come back to her. He had kept his promise. She wasn’t going to lose him. 

Tears clogged in her throat, emotion almost entirely overwhelming her. Tommy’s arm hooked around her, pulling her into his chest. Immediately she snuggled into the warmth of his bare skin, head laying atop the patch of hair between his pectorals. His fingers stroked along the ridges of her spine, cheek moving to rest on the top of her head. Every once in a while his face turned to press kisses against her hairline. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked quietly after a moment. Lucy dragged in a shaky breath. 

“I think I will be.”

“Don’t worry about Lizzie. I expect that things will be as they always have with her. She’ll have her good days and bad. But you don’t have to spend time with her or deal with her if you don’t want to. She’s my problem. Not yours.”

“Your problems are my problems,” she said, adjusting her head on his chest to peer up at him. He gave her a tiny smile.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

He swept a curl behind her ear. “It’s going to be alright,” he decreed, shifting to relax more properly on the pillows, holding her tightly. As if to remind them both they were just as inseparable as they had been before he made his vows to Lizzie. Lucy closed her eyes, clinging to that indescribable, unbreakable bond between them, letting the presence of it soothe and lull her into believing him. “I promise,” he added.

And Tommy never broke his promises to her. 

∗ ∗ ∗

Lucy watched Lizzie with a mounting sense of terror building in her chest. Hands fidgeting with each other earnestly, her heart leapt upwards to pound relentlessly in her throat. 

Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe she ought to leave; before Lizzie noticed her. 

And yet she didn’t move, frozen in place, just watching as Lizzie poured over a book propped up in her lap, steam from the teacup perched on the nearby table curling up into the air. 

She had slipped away while Tommy was busy returning all the calls he’d missed during his absence. They had risen early that morning, first for another round of sex, and then to begin getting him caught up on everything. There was a small mountain of papers for him to sign, and that was just for things to do with his position in Parliament. 

Forcing herself to be brave, Lucy took a step forward. “Lizzie?”

She looked up, expression immediately souring. Lucy gulped at the chilly reception, but forced her features to remain in an expression of pleasantness, her voice warm.  

“We didn’t really get to talk yesterday.”

“No, we didn’t,” Lizzie returned her gaze to the book in her lap, her tone greatly suggesting that the lack of conversation had been by design. 

“Well…did you have fun? In Paris, I mean.”

Lizzie looked up at her again. “Yes.” Her shoulders heaved with a sigh. “And now it’s over.”

She couldn’t bring herself to continue to hold that gaze. Not when it was filled was such heartbreak and accusation. Instead, she dropped her head to stare down at her shoes. “I’m sorry.”

“And yet you’re not going to stop doing it.”

“It’s…it’s what we all agreed to…”

Lizzie scoffed, slamming the cover of her book shut with a light thwap, placing it on the table and standing. 

“Lizzie,” she brought more firmness into her voice when she started to walk away from her. Lizzie froze, back stiffening. When she turned to face her, she had her chin tilted up, only adding to the intimidation of her already considerable height. Lucy gentled her voice, aware that barking at her was likely to get her nowhere. “You and I have to figure out a way to deal with each other.” 

Lizzie’s throat worked, but still she said nothing. 

“I know that you want me to leave…but…I told him I’d stay. I can’t just abandon him and Charlie,” Lucy tried desperately to explain. 

“So devoted to each other,” Lizzie sneered, shaking her head from side to side. “You don’t care who else you both hurt because of it.”

“I do care.” She took a step forward. “I do. That’s why we asked you so many times if you were sure about this, Lizzie,” her voice cracked with frustration. “Why did you say yes if you weren’t?”

Lizzie’s lips pressed together, head turning towards the windows. Lucy felt her shoulders slump. 

“Did you really expect things to change, once you got back?” That thought had been plaguing her since last night. The question. Did Lizzie plan this along? Did she intend to trap him? Did she know from the very first moment that she accepted the proposal that she was going to change her mind about letting them be together? “You know who he is, Lizzie. You’ve known for years. Did you really think that he would just transform overnight into what you wanted him to be?”

“He changed for Grace.”

“Yeah, but that was different, he–” she cut herself off sharply. He was in love with her, she had been about to say. Lizzie shot her a wounded expression. Lucy looked away. It felt like too cruel of a thing to actually speak aloud. Even if it was the truth. “Even then he couldn’t change the core of who he is,” she decided to say instead. “And if he knew you were going to change your mind, he would never have married you. You know that.”

“Yes,” Lizzie whispered. Lucy took another cautious step towards her. “I have a feeling that you’d leave, if I asked you to. If I really pushed hard enough. To try to…assuage your guilt and make things easier for him. Is that right?” 

“Probably.” She admitted, feeling a lump starting to grow in her throat. “Are you asking me to leave?”

Lizzie’s chin had dipped, face turning down to the floor. “If I did, and you left, he’d go after you. He’d bring you back home, and then he’d divorce me. Just like he would divorce me if I asked him outright to choose between you and me.” A spasm went through her chest. “I know…I know that there’s no competition between us where I’ll come out on top. Not in his eyes.”

“You’re the mother of his child,” Lucy inched a little closer to her, wanting to reach out, to touch her arm, to maybe even give her a hug. But she was too afraid that any physical contact between them would be unwelcome. 

Lizzie finally looked up at her with teary eyes. “So are you.”

“It’s not the same–”

“To him it is.” She sniffled, hands gripping at the material of her dress. “I’m not asking you to leave.”

Lucy nodded. “Thank you,” she whispered. “I can keep out of your way, if you’d prefer. I’ll stick to my wing of the house. We don’t have to eat together, or spend evenings with each other. You won’t have to see me much at all. The only thing I ask is that I get to have some time with the kids.” 

“Tommy would never agree to you being excluded like that.”

“He would if I asked him to.” He would kick up a fuss about it at first, she was sure, but in the end he’d relent. So long as it was her who asked him to do it. Fixing Lizzie with a careful look, Lucy tilted her head, bracing herself. “Is that what you want, Lizzie?”

Lizzie’s lips had started to tremble, chin wobbling. She suddenly raised a hand to her face, pressing her palm to her eyes as the tears welling in them finally spilled over. “I don’t know what I want,” she started to sob. Lucy reached out for her, touching lightly at one of her shaking shoulders. When she didn’t jerk away from the touch, she shuffled close to her, wrapping her arms around her in a hug. 

“That’s okay,” she tried to soothe, feeling a little lost as far as what to do or what sort of comfort would be welcome from her. “You don’t have to decide right now. The three of us are just going to have to feel things out for a little while. Figure out what works best for all of us.” 

Lizzie nodded, head dropping to rest in the crook of her shoulder. Lucy rubbed at her back. “I’m sorry for how I acted yesterday.”

“Don’t be. I understand. I know…I know that I don’t have nearly as much to be upset about as you do. Not even close, but, this isn’t exactly how I would have preferred for things to go either.”

Lizzie raised her head, looking at her with red-rimmed eyes. “No?”

Lucy raised an eyebrow. “You think that I wanted to have to watch the love of my life have a family with someone else?” Her fingers squeezed around Lizzie’s arms. “You’re his wife. I’ll only ever be his mistress.” We’ll never have a full life together, she swallowed around the unspoken words and the hurt they inflicted. Despite what Tommy had said, about eventually divorcing Lizzie, she couldn’t help but be skeptical that such a thing would ever actually come to pass.

Lizzie’s hands rested on her waist very lightly, and Lucy leaned closer to her until their foreheads touched. 

“I’m sorry we can’t love you the way you want us to,” she whispered, feeling Lizzie shudder and sob a little more at the words. “But we do care about you, Lizzie. Please know that. We do care.”

“I know.” 

“I’m sorry.”

“Me too.”

She let her go, and Lizzie drew from her, space once more finding its way between them. Lizzie sank slowly into a nearby armchair, limbs slumping like a marionette that had just had its strings snipped. Lucy pulled out a handkerchief that she passed to her to dab at her eyes.

“Take some time to adjust,” she said as she watched her. “Maybe…maybe it’ll get better.”

“And if it doesn’t?”

She forced half a smile to pull at one side of her lips. “I’m sure that you can find some other benefits to your life as Mrs. Shelby that don’t involve me and Tommy. With just the house, the kids, and the foundation I imagine you can keep yourself quite busy.”

“Yeah.” Her voice was monotone, not full of much hope; the wall that had briefly come down while she cried in Lucy’s arms starting to rise back up. Brick after brick being placed between them.  

“Do you want me to leave you alone now?” 

“Yes.” 

“Okay.” Struck with a sudden feeling of boldness, she bent down, pressing a quick kiss to Lizzie’s forehead before doing as asked and going to the door. 

She found Tommy still in his office, just setting the phone down. He smiled when he looked up and saw her, standing and walking around his desk to meet her. 

“Where did you sneak off to?”

“I went to go talk to Lizzie.”

His smile dropped. “Oh?” At her nod, he put his arms around her. “How did it go?”

Shrugging, she rested her head on his chest. “She didn’t shout at me, so I suppose it can be considered a positive interaction.” She craned her head up to look at him. “This isn’t going to be easy for her, Tommy.”

“No,” he agreed with a sigh, kissing her forehead. “It’ll be okay.”

“She might never adjust. Not fully. This most recent conversation between us went alright, but the next could be awful with how all over the place she can be.”

“I know. It’s like living with a fucking pendulum.” He sighed, rubbing her back. “We’ll look at getting a place in London like we talked about, eh? Give us somewhere to go hide out during the times when it gets really bad.”

“Do you think that it would be better if I lived somewhere else? I could get another flat in Small Heath…”

“Absolutely not.”

“It might be worth thinking about.”

He drew back enough to cup her cheeks. “You’re staying with me. You’re living with me, wherever I am. End of discussion.”

“Stubborn mule.” But she was fighting back a fond smile.

“Oi!”

Grin blooming, she rested her chin on the center of his chest. “It’s just something to consider. If things don’t get better…”

“I’d go mad in this house without you,” he said, shaking his head, giving her a kiss and then taking her hand. “C’mon. I’ve got more calls still to make. Mr. Martenson kept me on the phone for thirty bloody minutes.”

“And what have I got to do with that?” she asked, letting him pull her along with him. He collapsed back into his chair behind his desk.

“To keep my lap warm,” he grinned, and promptly pulled her squealing into his arms to sit upon his thighs.

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[spoopy-nevermore-dump]

Hey pssst hey. Have you ever considered: Montada?

I hate it, and it nearly killed my hyperfixation

But I understand my opinion on this may affect others, and many may be hurting from this episode soooooooooo

Art requests open

[moneygoblin04]

I am stressed, and I am on edge, and I feel like I'm actually, legitimately reaching my limit. It's kinda funny how my mom was the one to push me there