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carolmunson · 1 year

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love language four

happy love language sunday. this episode brought to you by me having the 'another scorcher!' sears hvac commercial stuck in my head. (if she doesn't know this commercial she's too young for you bro!) there is a description in here for a 'confetti glitter cup' and i need you to know i don't mean the ones you know of today. i mean these ones from the 90s.

love language set list

sticky. melted popsicle on toddler hands hot. running to the ice cream truck hot. public pool day for the kids with some pocket money, home made sprinkler with the hose for the kids without it hot. every shriek of their laughter peirces your ears and you smile. you sit on an almost broken beach chair, the lounge kind, blue, green and white plastic suspending you in place. a trailer park duchess on her throne in her yellow polka dot bikini and cut off shorts. the tinny echo of the radio plays across the way where mrs. milly plays with her kids, beach ball in one hand over her head, baby milly on her hip in the other. her husband took the car for work so they couldn't have the pool day they wanted. you would've driven them if eddie hadn't been going to and from home depot all morning for parts.

in the cacophony of the tinny radio, the woosh of hoses, the bubbling laughter of kids, you hear the clang of metal on metal just a few feet away -- followed up by a grunt of frustration you knew all too well. that HVAC unit needed fixing at the end of winter but he forgot about it. forgot until it started to get too hot. kicking off the sheets hot. cold showers at night hot. 'don't touch me, it's too hot' hot. the moment you said it he knew it had to get fixed, the sun isn't gonna get between him and whats his. "you okay over there?" you ask, sipping your lemonade through a curly straw, the ice cold drink making condensation build on the confetti cup you inherited from your aunt. you cross your legs, losing a flip flop in the process. "mhm," he grunts. you look over, his messy curls tied up on the top of his head, tongue poking out of his lips. his tattoos glisten in the sun, covered in a sheen of sweat and sun screen. he's been stripped down to a pair of black jean shorts all morning and early afternoon, bandana dangling from the back pocket that he's been using to wipe off his face. the soft definition in his arms, back, and chest makes you feel girlish -- giggly. the park's mr. fix it -- all yours, all the time. until it's too hot. broken hvac during a heat wave hot. "do you want me to help?" you ask. you see his eyes peer over the top of the machine and give you a look that can only be understood as 'please stop talking'. you sip your lemonade again. mrs. milly's beach ball hits you on the top of the head with a soft 'bop!' and you laugh. you look back over to eddie holding back his own, desperate to stay focus and annoyed at the task at hand. if he giggles, the hvac will know and won't take him seriously anymore.

"sorry!" her four year old says, her seven year old waves his hands to get the ball back. you spike it over like you know how to play volleyball. you don't. another twenty minutes and the sounds of the park mix with your boyfriend's cussing, the clang of metal on metal, of wrenches and bolts being thrown against the side of the trailer. "hey, hey," you say, getting up off the nearly broken lounge, "stop that." you hurry over in your half way on flip flops, the strings of your bikini tickling your back. he takes in a deep breath through the nose and it's just too hot and humid for it to soothe him. you offer him your lemonade and he blushes over the sunburn pink on his cheeks. the ice cubes jiggle against the plastic, the confetti in the cup catches the light while he forgoes the straw and chugs it. he breathes heavy after, passing the cup back to you, empty. "thought i could fix it," he says softly between breaths, "wayne could always fix it. this stupid piece of shit." "fuck the hvac," you say with a smile. he laughs, taking the bandana out of his pocket and wiping the sweat from under his bangs, dampended and curly. "yeah, fuck it," he smiles back.

"fuck it!" you say again, giving it a little kick. something clicks and clinks inside of the machine and it roars to life. you both look at each other, eyes wide. the sun beats down on your both -- a reminder of the heat. 'can't believe a kick in flip flops fixed the hvac' hot. "you gotta be kidding me," he says, half mad, half surprised, "i've been out here all fuckin'' day." "maybe you did need my help," you smirk. he collects his tools, tossing them in the box, muttering an annoyed 'don't talk to me.' you head into the house, shutting the windows to keep the air in while you feel it start to fill the kitchen and living room. not quite cold, but the air flow was welcomed in the stagnant heat. you pour more lemonade for yourself and your mr. fix it boyfriend. your aunts recipe that just tastes better in confetti cups. he comes in, tossing the tool box on the table and sighs at the feeling of the air flow in the room. not cooled yet, not conditioned. just the flow. he sees your offering and smile spreads across his face. he's delicate in his sips now, using the curly straw you put in there, a clear blue -- shiny. "hm," he he says in relief, feeling the drink revive him now that the worst was over. he stalks over in his black cut off shorts, hands dirty, cupping them behind your thighs to lift you onto the counter. "hey," you protest, but not really. his fingers reaching behind your back to pull at the strings of your bikini, "s'too hot." "that's why i'm takin' it off," he smirks, knowing it won't be too hot in a half hour. you feel the scratch of his five o'clock shadow brush against your jaw while his tongue collects a stripe of sweat from your neck. lemonade and salt, margaritaville skin. "hm," you mumble at the feeling. "hm," he mumbles back. dirty hands on your waist. your relief at the blinds on the storm door being shut. too hot. neck kisses on the counter hot. bikini top on the kitchen floor hot. can't complain about it being too hot, hot. lemonade sips off your skin, hot. sticky.

#eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fan fiction #eddie munson fluff #love language em #eddie munson blurb

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asideoftrashplease · 2 years

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The TRUE tragedy of the broken shuangjie promise

is that JC loved WWX SO MUCH that he was willing to DIE for him, and WWX loved JC SO MUCH that he underwent an incredibly dangerous and painful surgical process to rip out an essential part of himself — but because WWX KNEW JC wouldn't want this, because he KNEW it would hurt JC, and BECAUSE HE LOVED JC, he kept it from JC.

And the tragedy is that over time, it was those little lies he told to keep the secret that ultimately forced them apart. The main issues:

At its weakest, YMJ and JC as a sect leader were getting criticized for being unable to keep WWX in check. And it started from a small thing: WWX refusing to carry his sword

Then came WWX’s decision to break the Wen remnants out, and then to defect from YMJ to protect the Wens.

And finally, JZX and JYL’s death. I feel like there's sometimes a lack of clarity as to what exactly was the betrayal that JC perceived, what was the last straw at the Nightless City, when it was EVIDENT that WWX didn't intend for JYL to die? It was NOT "you killed her.” It was: YOU SAID YOU COULD CONTROL IT. JC says this at the Nightless City, and WWX (who is having 99 mental breakdowns all at once) admits "I can't. I can't control it”

To JC, the unspoken crux of the issue is: Why can't you just do the little things that would make life so much FUCKING easier for me? Why can't you wear your sword? Why are the Wens more important than YMJ (than ME)? Why can't you give up demonic cultivation, which only draws criticism and suspicion from the rest of the cultivation world, and which you can't even control? We don't need it anymore. The war is over. Why can't you go back to proper cultivation?

And the answer that JC comes to is: because you don't give a shit about me.

You just care about your "justice", and you're addicted to the power, and you SAID you could control it. You SAID. I TRUSTED you. And now my sister is dead and my nephew is an orphan and my shixiong is a black stain on YMJ's name who I have to denounce. All because you didn't give enough of a shit. All because you only care about justice, and you don't care about me.

The crux of the betrayal is that JC loved WWX so fucking much. It's: "I would have died for you. I DIED FOR YOU. I was tortured and mutilated and burnt. I defended you and stuck my neck out for you. I put myself and YMJ in the line of fire for years."

"And you don't give a shit about me."

But what the core reveal does is that it flips everything around for JC. Why won't you carry your sword? Why won't you give up the Wens? Why demonic cultivation? WHY DID YOU LOSE CONTROL? And it's not "because you don't give a shit" at all.

The TRAGEDY is that all this happened NOT because WWX didn't care, but because he cared TOO FUCKING MUCH. This happened because WWX loved JC SO FUCKING MUCH that he underwent a dangerous and incredibly painful operation to dig out an essential part of himself to give to JC, and he loved JC SO MUCH that he kept it secret for nearly 20 years.

All because he didn't want to see JC cry. All because he knew it would worsen the insecurities JC already felt.

But with the core reveal, JC is now learning that WWX did ALL THAT because he loved JC. It turns "you don't give a shit about me" on its head. But so what if he's found out now? After everything that's happened, how do they go on loving each other? Is it too late? When he brings up the broken shuangjie promise at the temple, it almost feels like he's asking "Why can't we go back? CAN we go back?? Tell me that we can go back, please." And WWX says: "I'm sorry. I broke my promise."

It's too late to go back. They've gone too far down separate roads for them to still be the people who were able to keep that promise.

#canon jiang cheng #jiang cheng #wei wuxian #yunmeng shuangjie #twin prides of yunmeng #mdzs #meta #crossposted from twitter

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a-reader-and-a-writer · 2 years

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No One Deserves This

Fandom: Top Gun, Top Gun: Maverick, Jake “Hangman” Seresin, f!reader

Summary: For the last few months, Jake has fallen into a self-destructive pattern. Tonight is the final straw for you.

Word Count: 1637

TW: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Blood, Mentions of Character Death, Mentions of a Bar Fight, Broken Nose, Grief, PTSD, Survivor's Guilt, Self-Destructive Behavior, Hopeful Ending

Note: Written as part of @callsign-phoenix's 500-follower celebration with the prompt "You like the pain. You like it because you believe you deserve it". Thank you to @green-socks for beta reading for me! 💖

Not for the first time, you arrived home to find Jake sitting on the floor outside your apartment leaning against the wall in a small pool of his own blood. You didn’t say a word as he looked up at you through his bloodshot eyes, instead, you just walked past and unlocked the door. Out of the corner of your eye you saw him struggling to climb unsteadily to his feet, but you ignored him as you walked into the apartment. However, you left the door open so he would follow you in.

Once inside, you placed your bags down before leaning heavily against the dining room table. You could feel Jake hovering behind you, but he knew better than to say anything right now. After all, what could he possibly say to make this okay?

Taking a few deep breaths to try and keep your temper in check, you asked, “How many were there this time?”

“Six.” The word was muffled and thick, warped by the likely broken nose he was sporting.

Shaking your head, you turned to face him. “Seriously, Jake? Six? What were you thinking?” You hoped he could hear the disappointment and disgust that was dripping from every word you said. But even if he did, you knew it wouldn’t make much of a difference.

As always, he hung his head in the semblance of contrition. “They jumped me while I was walking back to my truck. I didn’t know there would be that many. There were only three or four in the bar.”

Stalking over to him, you grabbed his hand, flipped it over to reveal his unmarred and completely uninjured knuckles, and held it up for him to see. “Did you even try to fight back this time? To protect yourself? Or did you just run your mouth and then sit there and let them beat the shit out of you? Hmm?” You threw down his hand and marched into the kitchen.

Seconds later, you reemerged with a bag of frozen peas and a dish towel which you hurled at Jake before turning to stomp back to the bedroom. “For your face. But that’s all I’m doing. You can patch yourself up for once.”

“I’m sorry.” The words were whispered softly from behind you.

Without turning around, you said, “No, you’re not. If you were really sorry, you wouldn’t keep doing this to yourself. You wouldn’t keep doing this to me.” The hand that settled gently on your shoulder sent a small shudder through you, but you still refused to face him. “Jake, I can’t do this anymore. What happens when you pick a fight with someone who won’t stop? What happens when I don’t find you outside my door but a pair of cops telling me you didn’t…”

“I’m so sorry, baby. I-I didn’t think–”

“I know you didn’t. That’s the problem. You are so wrapped up in your own pain that you don’t care how much pain you’re causing the rest of us.” Suddenly, something snapped deep within you, and all the walls you had built up to try and protect Jake came crumbling down, releasing a flood of suppressed emotions.

You whirled around to face your boyfriend, tears streaming down your face. “Did you know Javy asked me to meet him for coffee today? He’s so worried about you and what you’re doing to yourself that he was practically in tears. In all the years I’ve known that man, he’s never…. And Nat makes me text her every night when you get home because she’s terrified one night you won’t make it. And Bob comes to visit me at the hospital about once a week just to see how I’m holding up and almost every time I end up sobbing into his chest because I’m so scared for you.”

Jake stumbled back a few steps as if your words were physical blows slamming into him. His busted lip quivered and he choked out, “I-I didn’t know. I didn’t know you guys were worried about me.”

“Weren't worried? You go to a random bar at least once a week with the sole intent of starting a fight that you then refuse to protect yourself in. I’ve gone through all of my medical supplies twice in the last month trying to patch you up afterwards. How the fuck did you think we wouldn’t be worried?”

He shrugged half-heartedly. You could tell he wasn’t processing this information very well, but you had already come this far, you might as well lay all the cards down on the table.

“It’s not just the fights. Jake… when was the last time you kissed me? Or hugged me? Or even looked me in the eye? Because I know when. It was months ago, on the day you left for the mission. The day you pulled me into your arms and kissed me so passionately that it took my breath away. The day promised you would come back to me. But you didn’t, did you? I think it’s time I accepted that the man I love died up there in the sky along with Maverick and Rooster. That the man who came back is just a ghost of the man who left. And I can’t keep being haunted by the memory of what once was.”

Jake lifted his eyes slightly, still not looking you in the face. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I’m done, Jake. I’m sorry. I just can’t keep doing this. I love you too much to stand here and watch you kill yourself. And I know it’s horrible of me to say, but I don’t know what else to do. I feel like I’m drowning and I’m so tired and I don’t know how much longer I can keep my head above the water before…” You trailed off, unable to finish the thought.

Jake collapsed to his knees before you, his beautiful green eyes magnified by the tears gathering there. Taking your hands, he whispered, “You never told me you were feeling like this.”

“I tried, over and over again but you never listened. I begged you to get help. I begged you to go talk to someone. I begged you to do it for me if you wouldn’t do it for yourself, but you didn’t care. Because you like the pain. You like it because you think you deserve it. But no one deserves this.” You gently ran your free hand through his hair, careful to avoid the clumps of dried blood near his hairline. Jake leaned into your touch, his eyes fluttering closed as tears finally began to streak down his face.

Lowering yourself to your knees so you were level with him, you tried to get through to him one last time. “What happened wasn’t your fault. You did everything you could to save them. You wanted to go after Maverick and Rooster long before they let you. You begged them to let you take off, yet Cyclone refused. If he hadn’t, you would’ve made it there with plenty of time to spare instead of arriving just to see them get shot out of the sky. That was on Cyclone. And Rooster never should have gone back for Maverick in the first place. That was his choice, not yours. You did your job, you didn’t fail anyone. They failed you.

“So please, stop trying to punish yourself for something that wasn’t your fault. Just come back to me, Jake. Come back. Please.”

“I don’t know how.” The words were whispered so softly you almost didn’t hear them. Jake’s head was hung low, the top of his forehead barely brushing against your chest.

Taking his face between your hands, you tilted it towards you though his eyes still trailed on the floor. Tears slipped down his cheeks, creating pinkish trails as they traveled through the blood left on his face.

Using your thumb, you wiped them away as you cooed, “It’s okay, baby. You don’t have to do this alone. I’m not asking for things to go back to how they were overnight, or even ever at all. I know what happened isn’t ever going away. But I need you to stop this, okay?” You gently touched one of the bloody cuts on his face, causing him to wince slightly. “I need you to stop punishing yourself. That’s the first step. Then we can find you someone to talk to. M-maybe even just Javy or Nat to start with? Or I can find you someone at the hospital. See if it helps. Okay?”

Jake nodded softly. Then he whispered, “Please don’t leave me.”

“Oh, Jake.” You gathered him into your arms, his arms clinging to your waist and his face burrowing into your neck as you felt his tears begin to fall once more. “I don’t want to leave. I swear. I’m just so scared and I didn’t know what else to do. I’m sorry. But no, I won’t leave, baby. We’ll figure it out. Together.”

The two of you knelt on the floor for a long time, wrapped in each other's arms. After a while, your knees began to ache and your back cried out from the way you were twisted around Jake, but you ignored the pain and just squeezed him tighter. Yet, eventually, you felt him shifting in your arms and he pulled away.

But as you glanced at his face, you inhaled sharply as, for the first time in months, Jake stared you directly in the eye. And brushing a tear from your cheek, he murmured, “I love you, baby.”

“I love you too, Jake. Always.” He leaned forward and pressed his lips to your forehead. It wasn’t a passionate kiss that took your breath away, but it was progress. And that was all you needed.

Taglist: @loverhymeswith, @babblydrabbly, @lorecraft, @green-socks, @heart-0n-fire, @marvelousmermaid, @mayhem24-7forever, @wildbornsiren, @hederasgarden, @the-untamed-soul, @inglourious-imagines, @airhogger, @piscesvancouverite, @straightforwardly, @bonnieelizabethparker, @srry-itshockeyszn, @flyinlove, @fandomhopped, @sweetheartlizzie07, @yjwnoot, @wanderdreamer, @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy, @callsign-fox, @imjess-themess, @callsign-phoenix, @shanimallina87, @forever-sleepy-sloth, @notroosterbradshaw, @dezthegeek, @blessupblessup, @cherrycola27, @phoenix1389, @nicangelinee, @smells-like-perfect-senses, @boringusername3, @petlaufeyson, @cycbaby, @topguncortez, @imjess-themess, @footprintsinthesxnd, @fantasticcopeaglepasta

#fic #top gun #top gun maverick #top gun: maverick #jake hangman seresin #jake hangman seresin x reader #hangman #hangman x reader #glen powell #f!reader #angst #hurt/comfort #hurt & comfort #hopeful ending #grief tw #blood tw #ptsd tw #survivor's guilt tw #bar fight tw

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theboywithburninghands · 5 months

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Hey all. Last chapter of the latest Bunnyrabbitdoll arc... thing. Longest thing I've written by far. Light on the fluff, heavy on the horror and dark comedy. Hope you enjoy. T/W: Gore, body horror, guns, arachnophobia The Dollhouse Final Part: Kill All Monsters

Caine and Bubble are relaxing on a digital beach, both of them sporting sunglasses and matching towels. Caine is still in his full ringmaster outfit and Bubble can’t actually lay down, so he hovers an inch or two above his towel. Layla sits on their picnic basket, playing some beach music. Caine sips from an empty coconut shell through a crazy straw. Caine: BOY, THIS IS THE LIFE, ISN’T IT BUBBLE?

Bubble: I feel like a million deer, Caine! *eats a seashell*

Caine: A GUY COULD GET USED TO A LITTLE R&R! Bubble: Reading and writing? Caine: OH HO HO NO, YOU ABSOLUTE SIMPLETON! REST AND RELAXATION! IT’S HARD TO COME BY RUNNING A DIGITAL CIRCUS EVERY DAY FOR [error: not found: value] YEARS! THAT’S WHY I LET SOME OF MY SELF-REGULATING AI RUN ADVENTURES NOW AND THEN!

Bubble: You mean like me?

Caine: RIGHT! WE’RE ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY HERE, AND FAMILIES WORK TOGETHER! AND RELAX TOGETHER!

Bubble looked around. They were the only ones on the beach for miles.

Bubble: Hmm… Do you think the performers are okay?

Caine: I’D BET YOU A COMBO MEAL AT SPUDSY’S THAT THEY’RE HAVING THE TIME OF THEIR NON-ABSTRACTED LIVES RIGHT NOW!

Bubble: Good enough for me, boss! *he pulls a sun mirror from Hammerspace and flips it open, setting it in front of him* Ahhhhhhhhhh…

Caine: WORKING ON YOUR TAN THERE, BUBBLE?

Bubble: Heating myself up! It’s fun to feel myself boil!

Caine: *laughs* Oh, you crack me up.

—

Back in Crazy Caine’s House of Tricks, Pomni paced back and forth, tapping the hatchet she found on her palm. Ragatha sat in the corner, near Jax, but with enough distance between them so his stench isn’t unbearable. Jax himself drifts in and out of consciousness, delirious.

Jax: Hey… Hey Pompom. Pompoooom.

Pomni: *sighs* What?

Jax: Wh-What is the scariest tree in the forest..?

Pomni: What? What kind of question-

Jax: Bam-BOO! *makes jazz hands and laughs so hard he coughs, followed by a groan of pain*

Pomni rolled her eyes and continued to pace. Ragatha gave a small, polite laugh at Jax’s terrible joke. Pomni: Where are the others..? They have to be in their own puzzle rooms, right?

Ragatha: All three of us got one. Well, you skipped yours. Maybe we should try doing what you did and climb up the slide?

Jax: My foot hurts…

Ragatha: I know Jax, we’ll get it fixed soon, okay hun?

Pomni: We can’t. The doors locked behind us… *she jiggles the handle of the door Jax fled through to demonstrate*

Ragatha: You tried chopping it down with your ax?

Jax: Heeeere’s POMNI! *laughs himself into coughing again*

Pomni: I could try… but these seem pretty sturdy. I might break it.

Ragatha: It’s worth a shot. Beats sitting in the dark and twiddling our thumbs.

Pomni: I guess… Should I just… pick one?

Jax: Not my door… It’s still in there.

Ragatha: Why don’t you do mine? You already killed that monster…

Pomni: Okay. Pomni stood in front of Ragatha’s door, taking a deep breath and flexing her arms. She then readied her hatchet.

Pomni: …Here we go. Pomni took a mighty swing at the door. With a brittle crunch, the wooden handle broke off, leaving the hatchet-head buried a few inches into the door for a moment before falling out and clanging to the floor. Jax burst into laughter for a third time.

Ragatha: Oh no…

Pomni looked at the broken handle for a moment before balling her fists and hurling it against the wall, where it ricocheted and skittered across the floor.

Ragatha: Pomni, I’m sorry. That was a terrible idea…

Pomni: No-! No, it really wasn’t. It was a good idea, it just… didn’t work.

Ragatha covered her face, Pomni ceasing her pacing and going over to her.

Pomni: Ragatha, I’m sorry, it really was a good idea, I didn’t mean to…

Ragatha: No, it’s okay. It’s okay, I just… It’s horrible here, yeah, but it’s never this horrible… something has to be wrong…

Pomni: What do you mean?

Ragatha: I mean… you saw what was after me… you saw what that monster did to Jax-

Jax appeared to be entertaining himself by seeing how many fingers he could stick through the wound in his foot.

Ragatha: It’s not supposed to be like this… it’s bad but it’s not… not…

Pomni: Not?

Ragatha: Not Rated M…

Pomni: Who cares? We’re alive. And when we get out of this place we can tell Caine exactly how we feel…

Ragatha: …I guess I’ve just gotten used to a specific kind of horror…

Pomni hugged the ragdoll, who gratefully squeezed her back. It was a lot easier to hug her girlfriend with so many other anxieties tuning out her haphephobia.

Pomni: We’ll get out of here. It’s just another stupid adventure, right?

Jax: Hey… where’s my hug?

Pomni: You’ll get one after you’ve had a bath.

Jax: I won’t. You just think I’m ugly…

Pomni: No, I think you stink. Big difference.

Jax: …My foot really hurts.

One of the doors flew open with a crash and Zooble stumbled out of it, clutching what appeared to be a double-barreled shotgun.

Zooble: I SAID GET BACK, YOU UGLY SON OF A B!#€#! GET AWAY FROM ME!

Zooble snapped their shotgun closed just as a clawed, skinless humanoid hand the size of a car wrapped its fingers around the doorframe. A head, skin so tight around its face it more resembled a skull, crammed its way into the doorframe. It had eyes like pools of fog and a long, serpentine tongue, grinning hatefully

Zooble: Yeah. Keep smiling.

Zooble aimed their gun at the creature and fired. The kickback from the weapon sent their torso and arms flying, their head twirling about in the air before landing on the floor and their legs blindly stumbling about. Luckily, they were dead-on with their shot and hit the ghoul creature square in the forehead, fog gushing out of the wound as it clamped its bony hand over it. Zooble’s arms and torso, sitting several feet away from their head, aimed the shotgun once again, using their claw as a mount, and fired. The kickback from this blast blew Zooble’s right arm off their body, but the buckshot found its mark in the ghoul’s jaw, severing it neatly from the rest of the skull, so that it swung back and forth like the pendulum of a clock. It shrieked and gushed a torrent of fog from its maw that appeared to freeze the ground below it, shoving its way back into the doorway, the door slamming shut and locking behind it.

Zooble: F@&$in’ @$$#@!€… their right arm crawls its way back to their body, abandoning the empty gun on the floor. The right arm reaches their torso and their left reattaches it. Then, Zooble’s headless and legless torso pushes itself up so it balances on its hand and claw and ambles its way to their head. They put their head back on and rest a moment.

Jax: *points* Gun.

Zooble twisted their head around before relaxing at the sight of their fellow performers.

Zooble: Sweet J£$&$, it’s just you guys… gimme a second.

Zooble grabbed their wandering legs and hoisted themselves up onto them, twitching each foot to ensure proper connection before taking a few careful steps towards Pomni and the others. They stopped, cringing and covering where their nose might have been with their claw.

Zooble: God, it stinks in here…

Pomni: Sorry. It’s Jax. His monster pretty much had him in Its mouth…

Zooble: Ugh… *keeping their claw up* So… you three made it out. And you all ran into monsters too?

Pomni: I sort of skipped mine by climbing back up the slide and forcing the trapdoor open… I had a weapon too, but it just broke. *she picks up the head of the hatchet*

Zooble: Really? D@##, that gun only had two shells. I looked all over that stupid lodge for supplies…

Jax: Hodgepodge in a lodge… hee hee.

Zooble: What’s with him?

Ragatha: He got bitten by his monster too. I think it might have had something on Its teeth, ‘cause he’s been acting like that for a while.

Jax: *watching his own hand move* My hands make after-hands.

Pomni: Are you alright though, Zooble? Ragatha was just telling me-

Zooble: Oh yeah, dandy. Peachy keen. Nothing like nearly getting frozen by a giant ice wraith to put a little skip in your step.

Ragatha: You were better than I was. Pomni had to kill my monster for me.

Zooble: …Pomni? Really?

Pomni: You don’t need to sound so shocked.

Zooble: I mean, no offense, newbie, but you don’t give off “killer” energy.

Jax: It’s because she loves her!

Pomni blushed hot pink and Ragatha rather brusquely cleared her throat.

Ragatha: He’s uh, not in his right mind. I just got lucky that Pomni stumbled into my escape room…

Zooble: So that leaves Gangle and Kinger unaccounted for.

Ragatha: Right…

Pomni: They have to be inside one of the doors we haven’t used yet. And since they can really hurt us, they might be in big trouble.

Zooble: So what do we do?

Pomni: Well, there’s seven doors. One for each of us, and one that must lead out of here, or deeper into this place, God forbid…

Jax: That one. It’s different…

Jax pointed to a door on the opposite wall from where he was sitting. It was the only door on that wall, and it appeared to have three small, colored lights on it, no brighter than those on a Christmas tree. Pomni, Ragatha and Zooble all approached the door. There were six lightbulbs, two vertical rows of three, on a small panel. A fuschia, periwinkle and red light were illuminated, while the other three were dark. A small bronze plaque above the lights was barely readable in the soft red-violet glow.

Pomni: “Should you give in to your pain,

In this house, you will remain.

‘Tis only after fear is slain

That you can go home again.”

Zooble pointed to each of the illuminated lights.

Zooble: Pink for me, purple for Jax, red for Ragatha.

Ragatha: So the other three are Kinger, Gangle-

Pomni: And me. I have to do mine…

Ragatha: But you skipped it… How are you going to get back in there, all the doors are locked…

Pomni: Let’s worry about that in a bit. Gangle and Kinger haven’t beaten their rooms yet.

Ragatha: But the doors are locked.

Pomni: Doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try.

Pomni picked up the empty shotgun and the blade of the broken hatchet.

Pomni: See if any of the doors open for you. If they don’t, and they probably won’t, try to smash the handles off with the butt of this. *she hands Ragatha the gun* I don’t see a deadbolt, so it must just be a lock on the handle…

Zooble: What if you’re wrong? What if we get stuck in here?

Pomni: Then I’m wrong, and we’re stuck. But we tried.

Pomni jiggled the handle on one of the doors they hadn’t tried yet. To no one’s surprise, it was locked, so she took the axehead and began to smash it down on the handle. Ragatha set to work on another one of the doors, testing the handle and then starting the process of bashing it off with the shotgun. Jax covered his ears at the sudden noise.

What felt like ages of continuous bashing finally ended when Ragatha and Zooble succeeded in knocking off their door’s handle, with it clanging to the floor in several bent and twisted pieces. Ragatha pulled on the hole where the handle once was and the door opened with a crunch.

Ragatha: Yes!

Zooble: I’ll be d@##ed.

Pomni: Oh, good work guys! *puts down the axehead, panting with exertion* Okay, let’s go in and help…

Ragatha: Wait, what about Jax- oh.

Jax snorted in his sleep, kicking his uninjured foot and slumping a little further down the wall.

Pomni: Looks like he’ll be okay for a little while. *she smiles* I’m glad he could get at least a little rest…

Zooble: You know, this is pretty much what he acts like even when he isn’t tripping on monster venom…

The three of them chortled, but it died down quickly. They had work to do. Ragatha opened the door and they slipped inside, Zooble carrying the empty gun just in case.

They exited into what appeared to be a forest, the door attached to a brick wall, the only man made structure in the vicinity. It slammed shut behind them. The ivy-snared trees stretched high out of view, the suffocating canopy of leaves blocking just about all natural light. The grass was overgrown and clumpy, so tall that Pomni had to push it out of the way to keep it from getting in her mouth. Crickets and other insects chirred, and the entire area had the dense smell of wet moss.

Zooble: Hmm. *they hold up their hand and claw, calling out* HEY GANGLE?! KINGER?! YOU OUT THERE?

In the distance, there was another shout. Too high pitched and delicate to be the echo of Zooble’s voice.

Ragatha: Gangle!

The three of them took off into the woods. Pomni could hardly see an inch in front of her due to the tall, knotted grass, and her foot soon snagged on a root and she fell forward.

Pomni: OOF!

The jester swore to herself and began to pick herself up off the ground, only to squeak when a pair of hands wrapped about her midsection and hoisted her into the air. She was seated down on a pair of plush shoulders, a tangle of red curls and a purple bow between her legs.

Ragatha: *smiling up at her* Watch your head, okay?

Ragatha continued running, Pomni leaning onto her head for support. The jester felt her face warm up despite the cool air rushing by her cheeks. This was much better… She had no idea Ragatha was that strong.

The group continued onward, following Gangle’s cries, until they came onto a clearing between two mighty trees. Strung between them was a spider web, woven with thick yet gossamer threads to be about the size of a California king bed. In the middle hung Gangle, her body a mess of knots and her lips quavering. She gasped upon seeing the three of them.

Gangle: Guys! You made it… please get me down, I don’t know when she’s coming back…

Zooble: Okay, hold still. Pomni, you’re the tallest right now, break the threads.

Zooble handed Pomni the gun, and she stuck the barrels of it up towards one of the threads holding Gangle in place.

Gangle: Th-That thing isn’t loaded is it?!

Ragatha: Gangle, we wouldn’t do that to you- ow my neck.

Pomni: Sorry Ragatha…

The canopy above them whispered ever so slightly, a few dead leaves drifting down upon them. Gangle looked up as best she could and gasped.

Gangle: She’s coming, please get me down, guys, please!

Pomni hit one of the silk threads with the barrel of the gun, and it stuck fast. Pomni yanked on the stock of the weapon, but the threads stretched taut like bungee cords. A 12-foot long spindly black leg emerged from the treeline above them with slow, surgical precision, testing its grip on one of the parallel tree trunks before settling it down.

Zooble: That’s a big-@$$ spider…

Pushing through the leaves and branches emerged an arachnid, jet black and the size of a rhinoceros. A cluster of eight, milky white fish egg eyes sat on her almost disproportionately small head. Her pincers clicked together greedily as she climbed on eight light and nimble feet down to the web.

Gangle: Help me! Help me, please, help me!

Ragatha: Pomni, get the gun unstuck!

Pomni: I’m really trying! It’s like steel wire!

Pomni was on her feet by this point, balancing on Ragatha’s shoulders and pulling on the shotgun as hard as she could. Her gloves slipped and she was sent flying backwards off of Ragatha’s shoulders, who had to rapidly spin her arms for balance. The shotgun remained stuck to the web, the spider advancing past it towards Gangle, frothy drool dribbling onto her mask.

Gangle: NO! GO AWAY!

Ragatha: Hold on Gangle! I’m coming!

Ragatha, using her height to her advantage, crouched and jumped up, grabbing onto the shotgun with one hand. Her legs pinwheeled in the air. The enormous spider was jostled about as she prepared to sink her fangs into Gangle, stumbling and turning her ghostly eyes towards Ragatha.

Pomni: *just now climbing to her feet# Ragatha wait, don’t get stuck!

Ragatha: I’m not gonna get stuck, I-

The rag doll lifted up her other arm to grasp the shotgun, pulling the trigger by mistake. Instead of the expected click of the hammer striking an empty chamber, there was a deafening bang and a muzzle flash the size of a manhole cover. The gun fired, catapulting Ragatha back onto the grass and sending buckshot directly into the spider’s face, breaking a few threads of her web.

The arachnid’s head burst like a rotten melon, chunky, bright white slurry pouring from the stump that was left behind. Her legs twitched a few times before she tumbled off and hit the overgrown forest floor, her legs curling up. Stone dead.

Gangle: YOU SAID IT WASN’T LOADED!

Zooble: IT WASN’T LOADED!

Gangle: *practically sobbing# YOU ALMOST SHOT ME!!!

Zooble: IT. WASN’T. LOADED! It’s a double-barreled shotgun! What, did another shell just APPEAR in the barrel?!

Pomni snapped the gun open after a few tries as Ragatha worked on getting Gangle down from the web. A spent shell casing, smoking hot, dropped onto the grass, along with a live one.

Pomni: I guess it did just appear in the barrel… *puts the live round back into the gun and snaps it closed*

The gunshot had ripped through a few of the threads in the spider’s web, making it much easier to pull Gangle free now that a lot of the tautness was gone. Ragatha only had to reach up on her tiptoes to grab Gangle by one of her ribbons and yank her free. The pile of ribbons fell into Ragatha’s arms and promptly burst into tears, full-on spouts of water erupting from the eyeholes of her mask.

Zooble: Ah… Gangle, I’m sorry, we really didn’t know it was loaded…

Ragatha: Zooble used both shots on their own monster, we never reloaded it… it must replenish ammo on its own…

Gangle sniffled and sobbed a few more times before managing to calm herself down enough to speak.

Gangle: I-I believe you… I was just… it was so scary… I was stuck up there for ages waiting for her to come back, I screamed and I screamed for help and I thought it was never gonna come…

Pomni: …All of us are scared, Gangle. But once we find Kinger and I complete my challenge, it’ll be over.

Gangle: *wet sniffle* Challenge..?

Pomni: Yeah. All of us completed a puzzle room like this… well, I actually sort of skipped mine. Long story. Let’s just go back to the nexus…

Zooble: The what?

Pomni: The room with all the doors. It’s called a nexus I think.

Ragatha: Very Metroidvania of you, Pomni. *she smiles, then looks down at Gangle, still a pile in her arms# Can you walk, Gangle?

Gangle: Um… I don’t know…

Ragatha: Don’t sweat it. I’ll carry you to the nexus. You’re pretty light.

Gangle: …Thank you.

The four of them walked back to the door. The chilly air and ambience of the forest was nearly soothing on the group’s inflamed nerves. Pomni pushed her way through the tall grass; it was manageable when she didn’t need to run full tilt, but a part of her wished she was back on Ragatha’s shoulders.

Zooble: Let’s hope Jax hasn’t wandered off.

Gangle: Jax is with you guys..? Is he okay?

Ragatha: He’s- Well… he’s hurt, but okay. He got bitten by his monster and we think it may have been venomous or something, because he’s acting really loopy.

Zooble: It’s kind of entertaining.

They reached the solitary brick wall. Zooble reached out to open the door, but someone pulled it open from the other side.

Zooble: Kinger..!

The eldest member of the group stood on the other side of the door, trembling more than usual. In his left hand he held a meat cleaver, stained with something blue. Flecks of the same blue substance stained his face, gloves and robe.

Kinger: Glad to know you…

The four of them cautiously slipped by Kinger back into the Nexus. They were soon hit by the putrid smell of rotten corn and winced. Jax was exactly where they left him, sleeping like a rock.

Gangle: It smells really bad in here…

Pomni: I know, it’s Jax… he got it probably the worst out of all of us. *she leans the shotgun against the wall# B-But what happened to you, Kinger? You killed your monster?

Kinger: Monster..?

Pomni: Uh, yeah, in your escape room…?

Kinger: I… I remember books…

Ragatha: Books? *she sets Gangle down*

Kinger: Books and- and black candles- and cheesecake… *puts his hands to the side of his head*

Zooble: Okay, okay Kinger. Sounds like you had a rough go of things… Just gonna…

Zooble took the cleaver from Kinger’s hand with no resistance.

Kinger: I need my pillows…

Ragatha: We’re going to get you your pillows as soon as we get out of here, okay? You saved us a whole lot of time by finishing your puzzle on your own.

Gangle: Hey…

Ragatha: No, I didn’t mean it lik-

Pomni tuned out the conversation to stare at one of the doors. It seemed to be drawing her towards it… almost whispering to her.

Pomni: *Points to it* That’s my door. It was made for me.

Everyone stopped and looked at the door with Pomni. Jax blearily opened his eyes, curiously tilting his head at what everyone was looking at.

Ragatha: Well… with all six of us, it shouldn’t be that hard to finish, right?

Zooble: More like five, since Jax is… indisposed.

Jax: Who are you calling in this clothes?! These are MY clothes!

Pomni went and picked up the shotgun, double checking the shells. One spent, one live. One shot. She sighed and snapped it closed.

Pomni: Let’s get this over with… Zooble, you can probably use the cleaver to- HUUUUUAAAAAAHHHHH!

Pomni felt herself yanked backwards with enough force to give her whiplash. She rocketed towards her door, which swung itself open to swallow her up.

Ragatha: POMNI-!

Even if Ragatha had perfect timing, she couldn’t have caught up to her girlfriend in time. By the time she had taken three steps, the jester was across the threshold and the door slammed shut with a teeth-chattering bang, locking itself.

——

Pomni awoke in darkness. Her head swam, and her upset equilibrium couldn’t tell if she was sitting up or hanging upside down. She felt around in the dark, her gloved hand grasping the shotgun laying beside her. So she was right side up, good start.

There was a clunk somewhere and she was blinded, covering her eyes with the back of her hand. A tinny buzz signaled that she was under some lights. She felt her pupils constrict painfully as she squinted at her surroundings.

It was an office. An almost perfect imitation of symmetrical, focus-grouped blandness. The cheap carpet beneath her was an inoffensive green, the walls sterile, corporate white, and the drop ceiling above her lit with fluorescent, brain-itching lights. A few posters showing nonsensical cartoons sparsely decorated the walls. One had a man throwing a fish back into the lake he just caught it from with “Keep on The On Keeping On” overlaid over the sky in impact font, another showing an orange house cat looking up curiously at a T-Rex, with the quote “If at First You Don’t Succeed, Bite Off Your Tongue and Change Your Name to Xerxes” on the bottom, attributed to Buster Keaton.

There was a large table set up between the two rows of cubicles, empty bowls that may have contained chips or punch sitting on them, with a few cheap pink party hats and paper plates littering the floor. It wasn’t at all clear what the party was celebrating, the only clue being a lone greeting card laying on the table. Pomni brought along the shotgun and picked up the card. It was totally blank on the front apart from some words written in silver.

Pomni: “To our new Employee.” *she flips it open*

“The time for riddles has since passed,

For you are the very last.

We present to you a terror pure

That, by yourself, you must endure.”

One of the tiles on the drop ceiling was knocked loose, falling onto a desk and snapping in two. An arm emerged from the hole in the ceiling, a long, purple arm with a bright yellow glove on the end.

Pomni: Jax?

Another arm emerged from the ceiling, this one soft and plush, a hand with three fingers…

Voice: Pom… niiiiii…

Pomni: Oh my god…

A head emerged from the dark, or rather, two heads. Jax and Ragatha’s heads, squished together cheek-to-cheek and sloppily melted into one another like plastic. Their eyes were blank and staring, the middle eye fused together with Jax’s yellow sclera bleeding into Ragatha’s white, their mouth a single, grotesque combination of Jax’s yellow teeth and Ragatha’s sweet painted smile. Their entire body below the chest was a mass of squirming black flesh and multicolored eyes, exactly the same as Kaufmo’s was. Abstracted.

Creature: Pom…niiii….

It fell from the drop ceiling onto the floor, out of sight behind the cubicles. Pomni, her hands quaking, aimed at the cubicles with the shotgun, doing her best to look down the ironsights without dropping it. She only had one shot…

The creature rounded the corner slowly, dragging its combined weight on just its hands. The black abstracted goo stuck to the floor behind it and left a nauseating snail-trail. The creature mewled in agony.

Creature: Pom… ni…. It hurts…

Pomni: …

The creature leapt forward and grabbed the barrel of the gun, pushing it out of the way and grabbing onto Pomni’s leg. A disgusting, earthworm-like tongue shot out of its mouth and wrapped around her leg as it whined piteously.

Creature: Pom… niiii… why didn’t you… save us… please… make it stop….

Pomni: Okay.

Pomni pressed the muzzle of the gun to the creature’s dual foreheads, and it barely had time to look confused before Pomni pulled the trigger and blasted off the top of its head. There was a squidgy explosion of black abstraction goo that rained down on the cheap green floors and into the food bowls. The amalgamated creature, the top of its head now a fine oily paste, slid to the ground off of Pomni’s leg. Pomni stepped back, looking up at the ceiling.

Pomni: …You wanted me to run, right? You wanted me to run away. I… I think I’m done with that. There’s no point in running, right? Because there’s no escape. Running only makes things worse, delays the inevitable. Well. Mission accomplished, I guess. You scared me. But I killed your little monster. So… I’d like to get back to my nightmare now.

She dropped the gun on the floor and opened the exit door, closing it behind her politely.

——

Back on the digital beach, Caine and Bubble were still relaxing. A rift opened up a few feet away and the six performers tumbled out onto the sand.

Jax: Caine! Bubble! My guuuuuuuys- *makes finger guns at them as he flops onto his back, starting to make a sand angel*

Caine: GADZOOKS! YOU ALL MADE IT OUT OF THERE! CONGRATULATIONS ON DEFEATING THE FIRST EVER PROCEDURALLY GENERATED ADVENTURE!

Caine snapped his fingers and the six of them were immediately clean. The hole in Jax’s foot knit closed and he sat up, blinking.

Jax: What the- Wh… where am I? Oh, man, why do I smell so bad… *covers his mouth and where his nose would be#

Layla hopped with joy and went over to Kinger, who caught her in his hands and pet her.

Kinger: Layla! So good to see you…

Pomni: Hold on. Procedurally generated?

Caine: THAT’S RIGHT, POMNI! USING OUR CLASSIFIED DEFINITELY LEGAL TECHNOLOGY, MY NEW AI PROBED YOUR BRAINS TO-

Pomni: You… left us in that h€!!hole… didn’t even bother to check on us… nearly let us die… and you didn’t even make it yourself. You spent… ALL OF TODAY just sitting on a BEACH?!

Caine: …………Well, everyone deserves a break now and then-

With a howl of Barbarian rage, Pomni grabbed the meat cleaver from Zooble’s claw and took a swing at Caine.

Caine: WOAH! HEY NOW, TAKE IT EASY-

Pomni: I’M GONNA STAB YOU TO DEATH AND PLAY IN YOUR BLOOD!

Caine: I DON’T HAVE ANY BLOOD- *ducks another swipe* HEY, WAIT-

Pomni continued to chase Caine around the beach with the knife, the ringmaster pitifully trying to calm the madwoman down. The performers watched the chaos with some gratification. Bubble slid them a bucket of seashells.

Bubble: You guys want one?

Everyone: No.

Bubble: More for me! *he downs the entire bucket in one go*

Caine: WATCH THE COAT! WATCH THE COAT-

#the amazing digital circus #funnybunny #buttonblossom #jax x pomni #pomni x ragatha #oh no cringe #horror #tadc pomni #tadc jax #tadc ragatha #tadc gangle #tadc zooble #tadc kinger #tadc caine #tadc bubble

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ceruleanmusings · 3 months

Text

desolation part 2

part two to this headcanon expansion. self-reflection works wonders. @partiallypearl @myloveforhergoeson

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The golden sunshine bathing the Palm Woods with the promise of hope and opportunity hurt her eyes. Them being raw and swollen from her bouts of crying certainly didn’t help. Sammi insisted she throw on some makeup for once in her life or at least wear sunglasses to save face but what was the point? She wanted to face what she did, wanted to see the pain she inflicted.

It’s why she hopped out of bed the moment she got James’ text asking her to come over so they could talk. Well, part of the reason. She still had the desire to be around him. Who didn’t? He was a magnet; even before they got together, when they were friends, somehow, without her realizing it, her time shifted from being mostly spent with her sisters to being mostly spent with him. Carlos was with them a lot as well, of course, but she started getting used to and wanting James’ individual attention. She’d told herself it was just that she enjoyed his company until she couldn’t deny it was much more than his company she enjoyed.

Maybe it was selfish but if what they had was broken, if she ruined it, she wanted at least one more time with him. It’d make the pill she’d been choking on the last two days easier to swallow; the rancid smack of it burned her throat and churned her stomach and she deserved it.

She did briefly wonder why he chose for them to meet in one of the cabanas on the pool deck but then it all made sense. It was where they first met, where they sought out more time after fire pit jams, where they had their first kiss, where he first told her he loved her. They started there, might as well end there.

Her approach was slow, her doc martens crunching on the concrete. Yeah, flip flops would’ve made much more sense, but they were her first “big” purchase when she got her first check playing for the guys. Being able to afford them when she was still home was a pipe dream; she’d wear them until they fell off her feet.

James fiddled with a straw in a drink, sending the pale-yellow liquid and bobbing ice chunks into a cyclone. Another cup sat nearby. Mickey twisted her fingers. Even after all that he still got lemonade for her. Fuck, she really didn’t deserve him.

Still, she kept her legs moving and offered up a quiet hello and a small wave once she reached his table. He sat up straight, like he always did when she approached, but the energy wasn’t there. Strike two. She shouldn’t have said anything about that. He was eager sometimes, yes, but now she didn’t realize how nice it was for him to always be so happy to see her. Well, at least he wasn’t running away.

He nudged her drink towards her when she sat. She took it even though she wasn’t thirsty. At least she could mess with that, keep her hands occupied rather than pinch and pull and tug at the hem of her shirt or pull on her fingers too much.

Silence grated between them, rubbing on her raw nerves and sharpened hackles. It was wrong, all wrong. James started talking a mile a minute when she came around, usually something about his hair or some new clothes he bought or the new step to his plan for world renown or something silly trouble the guys got into. But now he sat quietly, lips pressed together, watching her, as if he didn’t know where to start. Her heart crawled up her chest, pounding a painful rhythm until it sat lodged in her throat and thrummed in her bones. By the time James shifted his position, curling his long legs inward, rounding his shoulders, and sucked in a breath, Mickey’s let hers all out at once.

“Can I go first?” And she winced, at the abrupt propulsion of her words, at . But he sat still and he nodded, offering a hand up in her direction. She started to reach out for it, for him, but he retreated a second. Oh. Right, he was…. Heat pooled in her cheeks, and she shoved her hands into her lap, embarrassment making her duck her head down. Idiot! She deserved that too.

She swallowed, parted her lips, and swallowed again. Reread the note in her mind she’d written over and over again until it held the perfect words that fit him, that he deserved. She’d written it out by hand on note-cards over and over again until it was seared into her brain. She brought the words forward once more, pushing down the sour bile threatening to slosh up her throat.

“I’m sorry.” She’d said it a million times before, but she needed to say it again. He needed to hear her again. He once told her he’d never gotten many sorrys around his house—houses, since he bounced between his parents a lot. She wanted to give him as many as he deserved. “I-I hurt you and I embarrassed you.” She paused, swallowed, and continued. “I was uncomfortable in a situation I didn’t feel I belonged in, and I chose to drink and join in disparaging you to make myself feel better. Or…” She swallowed again. “Or…to make myself feel worse to prove exactly why I felt I didn’t belong because I thought everyone else was thinking it anyway.” His mouth twisted to the side and his eyes squinted, just slightly. His slender fingers drummed against the sweating plastic of his drink, ice tinkling and clacking against one another. “That was wrong. I should have immediately come to you and explained how I was feeling. I fucked up. I won’t drink ever again. I’ll remove myself from any situation I don’t feel comfortable in. I won’t talk to them again. And…and I talked to Aunt Kelly and I scheduled a therapy appointment.”

“Why?”

She scratched at her hairline, blocking her face. “You….always say and do these nice things. You’ve very attentive and you’re…you’re very forward with what you think of me and how you see me. And…”

“And you don’t believe me.”

She grabbed at the lemonade, allowed the cold to seep into her palms. She shook her head. “It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

“It’s just…hard for me to accept it. Or…or feel like I deserve it.” The plastic cracked in her hands beneath the strength of her shaky grip. Her eyes trained on the water level bobbing up and down. “I always knew I had some self-doubt but I never really…realized how bad it was. Until I hurt you because of it.” A stab of pain in her stomach brought her to a halt. She took in a breath, let it out, breathed in again, let it out again. Keep going. Just keep going. “So…” Here was the hard part. “So…if you want to break up with me, I’ll understand.”

One, two, three seconds passed. She glanced up. James blinked back at her. “Why do you keep saying that?” The six words came out slow, as if testing shaky ground.

Huh. Of all the things he could’ve said this one didn’t come to mind in the whirlwind of worst-case scenarios that kept her up all night. “Because…I will?”

“No, the breaking up part. I don’t want to break up with you.” His concern rapidly switched over to fear, eyes widening, mouth dropping open. “Wait, do you want to break up with me?”

“No!” His whole body deflated as he blew out relief. It only stoked her confusion. “But, I just figured…”

“Well…well stop doing that!” James said, spluttering.

“James—”

He waved his hands, blocking her words. She pressed her lips together, stopping the rambling waterfall from dripping out of her mouth. “Look, I talked to Mama Knight too. And I thought about what happened. A lot. It kinda hurt.” He pointed at the side of his head and she let a chuckle shake out of her. He crackled a smile as well, though it fell off a few seconds later. “I’ve said and done a lot of dumb stuff. I’ve messed up with us.” He gestured vaguely between them only to then card his hand through his hair and blow out a sigh. “It wouldn’t be fair the one time you mess up that I break up with you if you haven’t broken up with me for all the stuff I’ve done.”

“…Oh.” He reached out his hand like before, palm upwards, gesturing in her direction, but he held it. Her body jolted with realization, and she placed her hand in his. Sparks popped at her fingertips as they always did when he touched her.

“I want you to be my girlfriend still.”

The intensity in his hazel eyes had her breathing easier. “Okay.”

“And I’m going to keep saying nice things because I believe them and I feel them and I want you to know it.”

“Okay.”

He squeezed her hand. “I forgive you. But…I won’t if you do it again. I…I need you on my side. Not just as my girlfriend, but as my friend too.”

She nodded instead of saying ‘okay’ again. She almost laughed at the deep frown appearing on his face when she removed her hand from his grasp. Sliding out from her side of the table, she stood with her arms open and, in the next second, she was in his arms, right where she belonged. Shew knew that now. “And I’m sorry, again,” she mumbled against his chest, memorizing the rhythmic beats of his heart. “The thing is…I don’t really like me.”

“I do,” he stated so plainly she stopped herself from blocking his words and let them sink in. She deserved to have good things and not set out to ruin them. She had to remind herself of that sometimes. Aunt Kelly wasn’t joking when she said it would be a process.

“I know,” she said. “But…I don’t know how we can work if I don’t. And…and I don’t think I can be a good girlfriend or a good friend or even a person until I figure out how to get past that. Or at least learn to live with it.” He hummed and she wrapped her arms tighter around his waist. He was solid and comfortable at the same time. “I don’t like feeling this way, but I do. I just want you to know I’m working on it and I'm getting help for it. Because I want us to work. I’ll try for you. And for me, mostly, but, y’know, you’re kinda important and important to me so…” He took her face in his hands and she was thankful for his hold on her or else she would’ve melted to the floor with the sheer tenderness in his touch. He brought her head forward and rested his forehead against hers. “You’re gonna have to be patient with me,” she continued, nuzzling her nose against his. “I know that’s not your strong suit...”

“Mickey, I waited a year for you to finally like me back,” James said, thumbs caressing her cheeks, “I can wait however long it takes for you to like you.”

She beamed at that, popping up on her tiptoes to place a light kiss on his lips. He followed her when she rested back on her heels, kissing her again. Her heart, back in its protective cage around her ribs, sang. “I should let you go,” she said, reluctantly pulling away from him. His eyes followed the drag of the tip of her tongue against her lower lip, tasting the touch of his. “It’s peak sunning hours, right?”

“You know, you can always stay.”

“And what? Watch you tan? Or get skin cancer?”

He smirked. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”

“Yeah, but that was before when I…” She cut her words off, eyes widening as one of his eyebrows popped up.

“When you were checking me out?” Her mouth opened and closed and he let out that sly chuckle that she felt all the way down to her toes. “Why do you think I picked those tanning hours?”

“You wanted me to watch?” You'd have to be blind not to notice the great shape James was in. While she hadn't had any feelings for him past platonic at the time she couldn't stop herself from taking peeks here and there. And everywhere.

“Duh. I don’t look like this for myself.” She snorted as he continued, curling one arm to form an impressive bicep, “This is a gift I give to the world.”

“How generous.” Despite her sarcasm, she allowed her eyes to travel over the undulating curve of his arm...and over the rest of him. “…You do have a particularly pleasing physique that I appreciate.”

“That’s a bunch of words just for you to say you think I’m hot.”

Rolling her eyes, she pushed him away. She thought he was a lot of things: confident, passionate, determined, talented, magnetic, vain, dramatic, cocky, and yes, hot.

But, most importantly, he was hers. And that's all that mattered.

#james diamond #mickey mason #mickames #otp: i met myself in you #insecurity and self doubt sure can do a number on people and their self-esteem #desolation part 2 #my writings #big time rush oc #also you'll have to pull ellipses out of my cold dead hands

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a-reader-and-a-writer-for-all · 2 years

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No One Deserves This

Fandom: Top Gun, Top Gun: Maverick, Jake “Hangman” Seresin, f!reader

Summary: For the last few months, Jake has fallen into a self-destructive pattern. Tonight is the final straw for you.

Word Count: 1637

TW: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Blood, Mentions of character death, Mentions of a Bar Fight, Broken Nose, Grief, PTSD, Survivor's Guilt, Self-Destructive Behavior, Hopeful Ending

Taking a few deep breaths to try and keep your temper in check, you asked, “How many were there this time?”

“Six.” The word was muffled and thick, warped by the likely broken nose he was sporting.

“I’m sorry.” The words were whispered softly from behind you.

“I’m so sorry, baby. I-I didn’t think–”

Jake stumbled back a few steps as if your words were physical blows slamming into him. His busted lip quivered and he choked out, “I-I didn’t know. I didn’t think I was worrying you guys.”

He shrugged half-heartedly. You could tell he wasn’t processing this information very well, but you had already come this far, you might as well lay all the cards down on the table.

Jake lifted his eyes slightly, still not looking you in the face. “What are you saying?”

Jake collapsed to his knees before you, his beautiful green eyes magnified by the tears gathering there. Taking your hands, he whispered, “You never told me you were feeling like this.”

“So please, stop trying to punish yourself for something that wasn’t your fault. Just come back to me, Jake. Come back. Please.”

“I don’t know how.” The words were whispered so softly you almost didn’t hear them. Jake’s head was hung low, the top of his forehead barely brushing against your chest.

Jake nodded softly. Then he whispered, “Please don’t leave me.”

But as you glanced at his face, you inhaled sharply as, for the first time in months, Jake stared you directly in the eye. And brushing a tear from your cheek, he murmured, “I love you, baby.”

Taglist: @valoraxxx-blog, @m3laniehearts, @autumnleaves1991-blog, @rule107, @vintageleather, @impossiblebagelcowboyfreak, @slutforadambanks, @americaarse, @reneki, @ynbutbetter , @sugarcoated-lame, @imagineadream, @sadpetalsstuff, @salty-thembo, @rachelizabethgraham, @duckandrobin, @queenbbarnes, @grincheveryday, @uselesslyromantic, @choochoo284, @littlebadariell, @blue-aconite, @thescarletknight2014, @dempy, @nik2blog, @dumb-fawkin-bitch, @shirley2996, @kkrenae, @zebralover

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thesoupinursocks · 2 years

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Part Two

stupid little things that i hc for hjp

-his favorite kind of music is 90s R&B bc thats what he grew up with, he absolutely cannot stand wixen music no matter how hard he trys

-he HATES pizza. hates it.

-he got bullied into getting a new pair of glasses when he got older bc his old one finally got broken beyond repair and when he got the new prescription he just kept stairing at trees and saying "oh my godric mione theres like actual leaves on the trees. like i can see every individual one."

-his favorite icecream is strawberry cheesecake, but a close second is cookie dough

-he has this really big sweatshirt he shrinks to carry around in his pocket werever he goes bc its so usefull when he gets cold

-talking abt getting cold, this mf is FREEZING 24/7. not a warm bone in his body. his teeth r chattering in 40° weather and his fingers turn blue if hes outside too long.

-he is slightly deaf in his right ear, partially from the killing curse messing with him, and also bc he fell down the stairs when he was like 4 and smashed his frontal lobe on the linoleum floor, and it never healed right.

-his favorite animals are snakes (obvi) and sometimes he goes to muggle pet shops to go talk to them bc he gets so sad that there locked in a glass cage and cant get out

-he has really bad blood circulation and when he sits criss cross his legs will go numb and when he trys to walk it off he looks like an idiot and his friends laugh at him

-pravati and padma and still friends with him and will invite him to hang out so they can paint his nails and try to fix his hair

-he was always tanner then alot of the kids at privit drive, bc he wasnt white, but he never got out much in the summers bc he wasn't allowed to so he always looked more pasty than he should have. the summer after the war he spent so much time outside and he tanned so much that when get went back for 8th year minerva thought he was james for a second

-he loves making friendship bracelets for people but hes so bad at them because of how shaky his hands are but everyone he gifts one too never complains.

-he has a necklace with the sirius star constellation

-he bought a magic ring that shows the moon and what phase it is the moment he looks at it, because he can never seem to keep track of it for the life of him and he wants to be able to for remus

-sometimes when he wakes up his hair does weird things so he grabs a pair of sissors and hacks off the bits that stick out bc "it will grow back hermione it really doesnt matter that much"

-he helped the twins pull a prank on ron so that every cup he drank out of for two weeks would flip itself upside down into his lap. ron eventually just started drinking with a straw though

-he and hermione lie to ron about muggle things all the time because its fucking hilarious to see him believe anything they say.

-he stole a street cat that was wandering around his flat one time bc it bothered him that it didnt have a home, and he named it "shitass" because it was the loudest and most annoying cat harry had ever met.

-he is expected to be late to class by most of his teachers. when he shows up on time it's like an actual surprise

-his full name is actually Haris James Potter and he had no clue until when remus was repremanding him and said his full name and he was like "..who?"

-harry has extensive knowledge on periods because of how much hermione complains about hers

-he only drinks his coffee black but he puts a shit load of honey into his tea

-he has a hard time differentiating his left from his right

-he sucks at spelling. actually once spelt his own name wrong on a assignments and snape graded him down for it.

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bunigojade · 1 year

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One Piece Live Action Review

Warning: it's long and not in a good way..

So it's been enough time since the live action came out and while half of that time was just trying to find the time to watch and process, the other half was just trying to make it through the show without pausing every 3 minutes. And while it's not as bad as it could be, it suffers heavily from a lot of issues. I definitely have a lot of personal gripes with things, but I do want to start off by saying that I tried my best to be objective and understanding of it as I watched and will try to consolidate this "short" review into being fair and focus on the things that make it a tough show to watch as a viewer and not just a gangle of discontent complaints.

That being said: I'm going to boil it down to 2 distinct issues the show suffered from and keep it at that.

Issue 1: The Characters

One of the main reasons I couldn't make it through scenes is because of how the characters were portrayed in the live action. There's parts I think the actors really captured the essence of the characters but these are small and vary from scene to scene. Other times it feels like the script worked against them, making the characters move against the way they're portrayed in the manga/anime and thus making it hard to swallow as someone who's spent so much time coming to love these characters. To start off: Zoro.

Zoro: Overall, I think Zoro's character suffered heavily, and maybe the most, out of just the 5 Straw Hats. From the very beginning we find Zoro being stoic and full of witty one lines as he takes on Mr. 7 from Baroque Works (which I actually really appreciated because it was just something that gets mentioned in passing and you never saw in the anime/manga) and while it did a fantastic job of setting the scene for who he was in the show, it immediately felt like a bastardized version of him. A theme that runs through all characters in this show but especially Zoro as the scenes and story continue to play out. One of the biggest signs of the bastardization comes just after the Baroque confrontation when he's being freed by Luffy in the Marine base. Zoro's introduction to the reader in the manga and in the anime is very adamantly: "I don't call myself pirate hunter." and this is broken immediately by Zoro telling Luffy he is THE pirate hunter and that its clearly a central part of him. This is even mentioned later on where he introduces himself as such to Mihawk. I think it struck me the hardest to see something that was so integral to Zoro that just was completely flipped and forgotten about. It lessens the impact of him joining Luffy moving forward, it strains the feeling of knowing this is supposed to be Roronoa Zoro, a man who's only goal for over a decade was to just get stronger and find Mihawk so he can live up to his promise, and worse, it created this feeling of distrust in me while I continued watching. The other aspect that I found unfortunate was how he didn't act his age for where this story is supposed to be taking place. Zoro in the beginning is so incredibly full of life, he gets angry at points, is continuously surprised and amused by Luffy, and in true One Piece fashion, he's got his dream and the emotions to match. This Zoro felt boiled down to an emotionless and shallow version, trying so hard to keep up this cool persona with small quips. It felt like he was only there to cut down enemies and move the plot forward at times. One of my favorite things about young Zoro in the beginning of the story is that he laughs, he's cocky and talks big, and he gets angry at Luffy & Sanji. I just felt like I got none of that.

Buggy: Wow. Like I know I wasn't expecting much when I first saw him in the trailer (or the ridiculous campaign that tumblr shoved in front of everyone) but I was not expecting what they did to this doofus. I say doofus lovingly because that's how I see the original Buggy. Buggy's ridiculous, he's grandstanding, impulsive even though he tries to be contemplative, and most importantly, he's flashy. This Buggy is.. someone else altogether. I do have to give some leeway in how I start this off because half of his character in the live action is at the fault for how the show runners decided to move the story forward, but even with how they decided to have him interact with Arlong and being carried by the Straw Hats, I felt like this clearly was just some deranged man with the same name. One really upsetting aspect was how they show the town being chained to the stands to watch his show, as if this is something he needs to have, be it for power or amusement. Buggy from the anime/manga couldn't bring himself to do that in the slightest. Buggy was on Gol D. Roger's ship. Buggy has morals and actual values that the reader/watcher of the manga/anime can see come from his core, and yeah, he's a coward about it, but he's not cruel. He doesn't hurt people, let alone imprison an entire town to watching bad circus acts. Lastly, this Buggy wasn't flashy in the slightest, there wasn't a crew to show off for and get excited for him and there wasn't effort put into his actions. Buggy puts on a show for the people around him in everything he does, even if it's just Luffy and Mr. 3 as they dove deeper into Impel Down. This Buggy couldn't care less. He felt selfish, vengeful, shriveled up, not motivated in the slightest for treasure or fame, and most importantly, not flashy. He felt so out of place for me that I wish they didn't include him in the story at all.

Nojiko: I don't think I've hated any other change in a secondary character than they did to my girl Nojiko. They literally introduce her by having her spit on Nami. It was disgusting. Nojiko, who followed Bell-mere's code of being a family, was just made to hate Nami in this adaptation for no reason. And while it changes later on, it shouldn't have been an option to begin with. Even in the original material the reader is shown how Nami comes back with Arlong's tattoo and while the immediate reaction by the town is to hate her, Nojiko, her sister, knows somethings up. And she immediately finds out what the deal is. Because Nami can't hold this secret of being able to save the town alone, and Nojiko is just as important in helping her bear that burden. I think it gets casually passed over in how Nami can only go out and get money on her heists because she knows Nojiko is home to watch and take care of the town she loves. This Nojiko is nothing like that, she's just used to push the story forward and doens't have personality or depth. Whatever the show-runners thought they were doing with trying to adapt this arc, it just feels pathetic. Its a beautiful arc and its emotional and powerful and unfortunately these nonsensical character changes leads into the second, and most important issue.

First though, I want to say there are parts done well and while none of the characters really feel like themselves, and I mean none, there's parts I can see the actors took to heart. Luffy's actor yells happily so often and loudly and I loved that. It's goofy and so reminiscent of how Luffy actually acts. Koby is still shy and timid and its conveyed so well by his actor that I was thoroughly impressed, especially when it came to standing up for his beliefs in the last episode. It might not have been canon but he was 100% in character. I actually thought Sham and Buchi weren't bad for who they were, a little ridiculous at times but I enjoyed the direction that they took two characters whom they didn't have a lot to go on. And as for Straw Hats, Usopp felt the most true to character for the most part, barring the issue of how he just casually brought the Straw Hats to Kaya's mansion when he's so protective of her, but again that leads into the second issue.

Issue 2: Unnecessary Changes

I don't think anything bothered me more than the number of things that got changed for literally no reason. In times it was mildly uncomfortable but in others I wanted to pull my hair out. Why did Usopp's mom have to die right in front of him?? Why does Arlong need to get to the Grand Line when it's where he's from?? Why is Zeff punishing Sanji for cooking with passion when he taught him everything he knows???? It just didn't make sense for all these insane and mundane changes to be added. If I could ask any question of the people who made this, it would be why the fuck they thought to add half the stuff they did rather than stick to the material. While I try to be understanding of the ones that were plot relevant, some just truly didn't even need to be in the show and I think it would've been better of for it. Unlike half the missing cast that should've been in it...

A very easy example is just how they have Nami proposition Arlong to join his crew. Arlong's a monster! He originally just spots the map and takes her because Nami says the maps hers and he wanted her skills. They could've kept this and it would've kept the story more coherent than having her sister be pissed and Nami immediately getting over her mothers death and coming up with buying the town back on her own. It didn't add anything and in fact, it made the feeling of the whole situation less impactful.

In continuation of that thought, why did they get rid of Genzo? Yes he was included in the live action but he wasn't really there or a part of Nami's story even though they included him getting cut up. His character holds so much weight to Nami and Nojiko! He's the pinwheel and they just wash over that and make it something Bell-mere did off offhandedly and then proceed to not even explain the tattoo coverup. Genzo is so important to Nami's character and upbringing and it just felt like they couldn't have bothered to use him correctly.

Syrup Village is no exception either. There wasn't a reason for Kuro to kill Merry, it took away from the ending and the christening of the Going Merry. Usopp's mom didn't have to die in front of him (abruptly I might add) for the sentiment to get across of how he puts on a brave front all of the time. Kuro didn't have to be shown poisoning Kaya for her to be sick, originally she's just extremely depressed and that's okay as it was!

I only had question after question with the changes but my biggest question of all is just:

What the fuck was the point of everything with Garp? Like in all seriousness: what was that for? A 10 minute fight where Garp beats Luffy's ass as they rehash dialogue from when they actually fight for Ace? Luffy is shown so often emulating Roger, hell it's the biggest mirror overarching the entire series, but that never once was addressed, or even needed to be, with Garp. There's plenty of other times for that parallel to come up if they decide to continue the live action. There's no need for him to test his grandson, let alone have it play in so much as it did through the season just for the extremely pathetic conclusion it came to. It not only took Garp completely out of who he is as a character, it put so much stress on every other move the story took that it needed a bigger resolution or to not be resolved at all just yet. Garp wouldn't request a shichibukai (nor did he even have the authority to but whatevs), Garp wasn't as forward with Koby in the actual series, and most of all, there's no reason for him to be chasing Luffy. In fact, Garp's so fucking proud and dismissive of Luffy's actions as he hears of them in the actual series that this Garp feels almost alien. It didn't provide anything to the viewer, it didn't offer anything more to the story that it didn't already have, and it shouldn't have even been part of it to begin with.

Overall, the trailer filled me with dread leading up to the release and it was not unexpected in how painful it was to watch. I hope they don't continue it, plain and simple. It's not a good adaptation and it's just more bad writing from the people at Netflix. There's some thought put into it but unfortunately, not enough to feel like the people who made it have anything but surface level love for the original material. 2/10

#one piece #opla #sorry for long post but tbf this isn't even half of it #also im not here to debate so if randos find this and start something i will just block and move on

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